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Emotional Factoids
Understanding Emotions
by Bobbi Gay
Our culture teaches us to fear or disregard our own emotions in so many ways. That is because emotion
threatens social order and the patriarchal structures of our culture. We have outgrown our structures, and
we need to love and understand our own emotions in order to create inner peace and its twin world
peace.
Emotions are a vital part of being here on planet Earth. They add richness and meaning, texture and art to
life. We are systematically taught to repress and suppress emotional information and intelligence. This
type of information is trying to present a more complete view of our lives.
s we repress !so called! negative emotions, we also suppers positive emotions. This can result in a
feeling of deadness or lac" of inspiration. #ome of us get !stuc"! in our emotions and can$t achieve a
balanced perspective for very long. We may react to life rather than proactively create what we love.
That is because when you really need to wor" with emotion, nothing else will do. #tuc" negative
emotional energy causes many problems. %elease the energy and improvement occurs across the board.
&hange the thoughts that would invite the pattern and you are free.
Issues Discussed'
The energy model and how it relates to emotions
Getting stuc" energy moving again
%eleasing emotional energy(tools and methods that wor"
%ecommendations for various emotional patterns
)oo"ing at your world view
)oo"ing at core beliefs
Trauma and stuc" emotional energy
#elf tal" that generates negative energy
%esponding to the emotions of others
*o you ta"e in the negativity of others li"e a sponge+
,nderstanding shame
Emotions as information
-astering emotions in such a way as to decrease fear, and increase
aliveness and meaning.
Emotions as a gift from soul
Emotions as a connection to soul
#peculations about the role of emotion in the evolutionary process.
1. Emotional energy is really a physical sensation. the sensation tells us emotional energy is see"ing to
express. When we allow expression with the intention of releasing it, we get relief. /n addition as
emotional energy gets moving, more information needed for healing, will generally emerge. n example
might be a type of anger / used to feel a lot. s / learned to stay with the feeling, it changed. 0ext /
reali1ed that the particular "ind of pain / was feeling, was actually a mixture of anger and sadness. The
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sadness was because / really wanted to feel close to those / was angry with. To release the whole gestalt
or pattern, / needed to feel the sadness also.
2. Thought precedes emotion. Our feelings are telling us something about the way we are thin"ing.
0egative thoughts generate negative emotion.
3. We don$t really recogni1e it consciously, but we are constantly exercising 2udgment as to whether things
that happen are good for us or bad for us. Our emotions tend to stabili1e when we ma"e that 2udgment
process more conscious. We can release irrational assumptions and try a different approach. Example'
!Wait a minute here, 2ust because the gas pump isn$t wor"ing doesn$t mean it will be a bad day. / guess /
could use this situation to practice advocating for myself in a friendly way. %eframing and a friendly self(
advocacy assures a more positive emotional state in response to the problem.!
s / learned during a two year period of illness , not all gifts loo" great at first. When / loo" bac" /
remember how clearly bad it all felt for me. -any times / prayed for relief, instead / got what / really
needed. /t was the turning point of my life and /$d do it again to get what / gained. #tart to notice your
2udgments as to whether people and events are good or bad for you. 3lay with the idea that there could
be a way in which what$s happening might have a more benevolent interpretation.
4. /f we allow the energy of the emotion to be felt fully, it will release. #igmund 4reud was enamored with
catharsis for a while, but ultimately re2ected it feeling that the tension returned over time. #tanislav Grof
explains that 4reud was wor"ing with only a partial understanding of catharsis. When something is felt
fully, without suppression it will release. This may ta"e guidance and the use of breath and bodywor". / do
not recommend this in cases of post traumatic stress unless it is done very carefully. Once an emotion is
felt it is then time to find the lesson or meaning and move on.
/n cases of extremely deep encoding it may ta"e several sessions. #ometimes this is because of the
mixing of several emotions into an overall feeling state. #ometimes the person is a little afraid of full
expression. #ometimes the trauma happened so early that it is difficult to integrate the meaning.
#ometimes there is an addiction to the feeling, even a miserable feeling. -ost often the person has not
changed the thought patterns that recreate the emotion.
5. We can learn to identify our emotions by tuning into the body. s / said earlier emotions are sensations
we feel in the body in response to a decision about whether something is good or bad for us. This can be
a split second process. We feel our emotions first in the body and then we react to the sensation. 4ear is
often held in the solar plexus and intestines. nger tends to stic" in the shoulders, nec" and 2aw. Grief and
loss lodge in the heart area. #hame is often described as a yuc"y ball in the solar plexus.
6. Often when we thin" we are hiding feelings it is plainly on the face or in the body language. Emotional
truth wants to express.
7. When we hide our feelings from another, we will never feel seen. Our emotional truth is more
essentially who we are then what we identify with, the false self.
8. 3eople are more fundamentally lovable when they are emotionally real. There is a 5uality of essence
that is palpable when someone is present with his or her own emotional experience. /n groups the love
2ust flows. /n couple6s wor" the love 2ust flows. #elf(love flows too. -y heart flows out to others when they
are real.
9. We are strengthened when we learn to be with our feelings. Over time one feels more and more
mastery in life$s circumstances. &onscious &7O/&E enters the picture. One feels deeply connected to
#elf.
10. Bloc"ed emotion is the single most paraly1ing thing in personal growth. We 2ust can$t get beyond a
particular wound until we learn something and let it go. #ometimes we may learn a lesson, but still hold
stuc" emotional energy. /n this case, when the emotional energy is liberated no processing is needed. The
lesson has already integrated on the other levels.
11. /t is not possible over time to suppress negative emotions and still retain the good ones. neurologist
friend of mine told me that the - was now recommending treatment for depression in cases of long
term bac" pain. #he explained that bloc"ing the pain resulted in a loss of 2oy as well. The same parts of
the nervous system were involved. This wor"s the same way with emotional pain.
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12. Emotions are part of our internal guidance system. -any of the people / wor" with describe feeling
emotions and body sensations warning them before a rape or other violation. /f you learn to tune out
emotion you will eventually automate that process. Then you will no longer even "now what you are
feeling. Good discernment means using the guidance God gave you.
13. -any people cannot name emotions they regularly feel. /f children were taught to name their feelings,
it would tend to diminish identification with the emotion. Example' !/ have anger right now, but / am not my
anger.!
14. -ost emotions clear fully in minutes or less if we release them as we go along in our life experiment.
Emotions come in waves and we can rest and rebalance slightly in between waves. We can learn to wor"
effectively with the rhythm of the process. When releasing deeply encoded emotion we can pace the
process by stopping to rest periodically.
15. 4or those with early abandonment, catharsis may be needed in order to release some of the huge
stores of misery. The problem here is that for some it is rare to feel well being, which ma"es it hard to
believe there is a better way to feel. This diminishes motivation for change. %eleasing some of the steam
often produces pleasure and more expansive thin"ing. 4or those wor"ing at this deep level it is mandatory
to have a trustworthy guide.
16. Emotions lodge in the tissues in cases of shoc" and denial. When one has an overwhelming
experience it bypasses normal memory and gets biochemically encoded in the bodily tissues. This is a
very familiar concept to meditators, body wor"ers, energy wor"ers and experiential explorers.
With denial / thin" the emphatic repeating of a phrase or aversive feeling causes the psyche to deeply
ta"e in the message. /t is as if stress causes an altered state. %emember we are more suggestible in an
altered states. That is why hypnosis and guided imageries are used to reprogram. !This is not happening8!
!This never happened8! !/ don$t believe this8! !0OOOOO8! When we deny our experience the emotional
energy of that experience lingers in our energy field. 4rom there it eventually becomes a symptom.
17. #uppressing and repressing emotional energy has a physical component. 9ery early in life children
learn that if they hold their breath and s5uee1e their muscles, awareness of troubling emotions goes
away. This may be combined with suppressive thoughts. This tension can become li"e armor, which is
what it$s often called. s our bodies harden our emotions harden. We are less sensitive to energetic
information, hunches, emotional awareness, caresses and so on. -any or the former things are what
produces those pleasure chemicals in the brain. The armor itself actually fosters and maintains tension
states. #omatics is very helpful in gently dissolving body armoring.
18. 0egative emotions tell us we are interpreting events in a negative way. /f we change the interpretation,
we open the door to positive change. 4lower essence #olutions can greatly assist this "ind of reframing.
19. Emotions are great motivators. ,sing positive energy to self motivate is a ma2or life lesson. -any
people motivate themselves with fear and nagging behaviors. Who in their right mind li"es that+ /t$s a
prescription for resentment and exhaustion.
20. 4ear is a big bad boogie man8 -ost of the time when we face our fears, we come out empowered.
ncient mystery schools focused heavily on this fact. Empowerment feels good. There is often a pleasure
cascade in the brain when we successfully move through our fear and exercise &7O/&E. 4or a better
understanding see 3leasure &onnection in our Boo"s section. Even my most anxious client$s
ac"nowledge that less than one in ten times does the feared thing manifest.
21. Emotions are most li"ely to go out of control when we continually suppress them. /f you push it away
with force, it will come bac" with force. /f you accept it and love yourself as best you can it will release. /t
is the events that drive a wedge between us and inner being that "eeps returning. That is because we
must deal with a lesson.
22. %eleasing emotion can be very refreshing and enlivening. typical couple6s pattern is that when
things feel too dead for too long somebody pic"s a fight. There is some catharsis, then the couple
rebonds as they en2oy the enlivening effect. -a"e up sex8
23. /f you are interested in shaping your own life through manifestation you need to "now that emotional
energy is the roc"et fuel for creating in that way. /f you are picturing a certain future, and you are
broadcasting doubt and fear mixed in with hope, nothing big will happen. /f you have a clear vision and
only a little doubt more will happen. /f you hold clear intention and body:mind:spirit and emotions are all
feeling good it$s as if it$s already come. Once again unfinished emotion "eeps you stuc", but if you use
that as information it will tell you exactly what needs attention. Ex. The inner child may not believe she can
manifest ( directly wor"ing with her will bring alignment
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24. Emotional release is often held bac" by muscular tensions so the next time you are suppressing an
emotion begin to notice how you are tightening your body, / rarely cried in my early life. / was stoic, when /
reali1ed / needed to grieve, / did this type of self(observation. / noticed all my throat muscles would
tighten, my eyes would s5uee1e shut, my 2aw would clench and / would incline my head in a certain way.
That$s enough information to bust the pattern. / set my intention to pic" up on these signs, when / did /
would soften the tissues involved, particularly in the throat. This wor"ed 5uic"ly because / had already
done the mental wor" of changing the belief to one that honored crying. These days / cry at the drop of a
hat and it has become a vehicle for feeling my humanity. /t cleanses me and expresses my soul.
25. #everal things facilitate emotional release'
dopting an attitude of surrendering to the feeling.
s"ing /nner Being for guidance and strength to !be with! your feelings. / do this by focusing on my
heart center and inviting my 7igher #elf to 2oin my heart and help me to release deeply but gently. / as"
for angelic assistance also, because angelic energy is particularly nurturing
%emind yourself that what you resist persists
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0oticing what tightens when you start to feel, release the contraction by feeling buttery in the area of
constriction this wor"s best when combined with deep breathing.
The emotional material gets buried when the breath is constricted so it ma"es perfect sense that by
deep breathing and allowing, it will come bac" up. /t is helpful to ma"e the distinction between having a
feeling and being the feeling. ;ou are allowing emotional energy to express by way of the body.
)ying down to release greatly facilitates the process. this seems to be for several reasons first
because it eases some of the musculari1ed tension. #econdly it ta"es great energy to hold the body
upright. this energy can be redirected into the process of release. )ast of all it allows for a physicali1ed
expression of surrender. What wor"s best is to lie on the bac" with nothing crossed and palms upward to
signify openness. When wor"ing with grief or other heart congestion it is some times helpful to put a small
but fairly hard pillow between the wing bones in the bac". The extra pressure helps to open the chest area
energetically, which in turn allows for more emotional energy to flow.
26. Emotions are often experienced in a cluster, we feel most cra1y when we fail to brea"down an
overwhelming cluster of emotions into its constituent parts and identify them. 4or example / may be angry
with my partner, frustrated, sad because things were going so well and desiring a feeling of reconciliation.
/f / can identify each feeling and be comfortable with the fact that these things seem to clash, there is an
easing. / want a hug and / wish / could 2ust belt him as well. /$m 2ust human and this is a human
experience.
27. #ome studies have shown that anger tends to build upon itself, which can perpetuate a cycle. /n other
words it is challenging to get a full release doing rage wor". %elease would imply letting go, there are
some helpful guidelines here. /f you don$t usually get angry and that pattern isn$t wor"ing for you, you
probably need the empowerment that anger can bring. /f however you are perpetually angry and
frustrated, you may need to go beneath the anger to the heart pain to effect a letting go.
Energ !onitoring
by Bobbi Gay
There was a time in my life when / was ill with chronic mono for two years. This dramatic loss of energy
caused me to ma"e important changes in my life. / was desperate to feel energy again. nd so, / began to
loo" at how / might do that.
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t first / began noticing my patterns. The telltale signs that / was losing energy too" a few forms that /
learned to identify. The most noticeable thing was a sin"ing sensation in my solar plexus. /f / was agreeing
to do something / didn$t want to do, /$d feel it. /f / wasn$t being renewed by who / was with or what / was
doing, /$d 5uic"ly feel drained and restless. / learned that if / had to pretend to be en2oying myself with
someone, /$d later feel tired. / found out that before this, / didn$t distinguish between having a good time
and seeming to have a good time. / didn$t really assess the 5uality of an experience or interaction, in order
to decide if / was going to do it, or repeat it again.
What / learned was that my body was a great ally. /t would literally tell me where / was losing the energy.
t one point about a year or two into my explorations, my therapist and / were tal"ing about a long term
commitment / was considering. / mentioned to her that whenever / considered a ma2or commitment, / was
aware of a fear that /$d get sic" and be unable to finish the commitment. #he as"ed me how many classes
and performances / had missed in the last two years.
This was one of the first times / clearly became aware of a limiting belief. s / thought about the 5uestion /
was surprised to reali1e that in the two year period, / had never missed one event that truly excited me. /
hadn$t had the experience of missing anything / deemed vital in several years and yet, 2ust below the level
of awareness was an unrealistic fear.
/ reali1e now that the extreme stress of the illness encoded that fear. 4or two years / had chronic fatigue
and an additional litany of illness that were incapacitating. Time after time / would commit to things only to
be laid low. -y overdeveloped integrity made canceling painful. ll this encoded with a belief that /
couldn$t trust my own energy to be there when it was needed.
/ got something on a very deep level after loo"ing bac" at my health history. / 2ust "new with great power
that / needed to notice my excitement level about various pursuits and options. / decided to follow my
excitement and focus on fully involving with whatever my excitement was. This didn$t mean abandoning
my children and partying every night. / did notice however, that in order to be excited by child rearing /
needed to develop my own way entirely. / also needed to play and feel irresponsible, it excited me to
reclaim my lost childhood and feel alive after so mach illness, stress, and physical pain.
s / consciously gave myself permission to want and be, / felt freer and more energetic. / reali1e now that
/ never would have been able to shoulder the responsibilities / now bear without having that second
childhood. ll this prepared me for the time when / came into contact with the wor" of #tanislav Grof. This
eventually resulted in much travel and training, all of which would have been exactly the "ind of thing
which / formerly feared planning.
"od #ignals
sense of uneasiness when planning or committing to activities which don$t feed you.
"not in the solar plexus or gut when planning or committing to activities which don$t nurture.
drained feeling when you hang up from tal"ing with someone or part company.
sagging in the heart when contemplating any activity.
resentment toward others or a feeling of obligation.
! hit ! or body felt awareness that you 2ust agreed to something not your excitement.
feeling of emptiness when futuring about a given event or relationship, usually the chest area.
stooping of body posture when considering an obligation.
drained feeling before an event.
We each come here to live out a dream that our soul holds dear. We are given vital energy to sustain
us in exploring this beautiful planet and her beings. When we spend our energy on this pursuit we are
rewarded with more energy. This is the concept of synergy and flow. The soul$s energy synergi1es the
human energy field, and a flow is established. 0ature rewards connecting to the source with good
feelings and feelings of strength and power. We feel vitally alive when we are using our energy to live
the !big life! our very own intimate soul wants to gift us with.
4or many reasons, however we lose our connection to source energy. This always boils down to the
many forms of fear which results in contraction. &ontraction W; from source. We lose touch with
our life dream when flow stops. The following list is designed to be helpful to people who are
interested in detecting where and how they are losing vital energy. Once you discover that you are
losing energy in an area of the body, ex. the solar plexus, call that energy bac" to you and imagine it
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settling up and down the length of your spine. This is your !rod of power.! ;ou need your power to
have a good and satisfying life8 /f you don$t claim your power somebody else surely will.
9ital <uestions bout 9itality
What do / get out of this activity+ /f / decide to do this thing, what can / get out of it+ &an this activity
be a win : win situation for everybody+ #ometimes an obligatory situation can be used for self
observing, that puts the locus of control bac" on you. ;ou can$t wait for an advocate to save you in this
world, That never wor"s out, you must place high value on your time and energy. 4or that is the fuel
for launching your life dreams.
What do / get from spending my valuable time with this person+
&an / be with this person without wearing a mas"+
*oes the person /$m planning to spend time with "now how to be intimate and real+
re there a lot of shoulds and musts in this situation+... or with this person or people+ =udgment and
conformity are draining. /t ta"es a lot of energy to suppress spontaneity, control body movements and
emotions etc. -ost of this is lin"ed to the belief that what$s important is what other people thin" and
see. s you can see, it would be more empowering to restate the belief with self at center.
7ow much of my energy does it ta"e to live up to the expectations of others+ /f believing what my
family believes is costing me energy, am / willing to hold my own truth+
*o / often feel used by others+ -aybe the feeling of being used is trying to tell me that / am giving too
much power and attention to another. %ather than cast myself as the victim / can stop giving so much
>thus brea"ing the pattern? and wor" with an affirmation that puts the locus of control with me. Ex. !/
give freely and receive freely, / allow flow in my life.!
When / find myself in unpleasant circumstances, do / notice physical sensations that tell me where /$m
losing my power+ There is often a 5ueasy feeling in the solar plexus when losing energy. Other
sensations might be' a sin"ing sensation in the heart, solar plexus, or gut. tightening of the 2aw and
nec" and shoulder muscles. These cues can be used consciously as indicators that you are losing
energy. Once you "now this you can determine what$s going on that triggered the sensation. But don$t
stop there, say the situation is feeling 2udged. / might as" myself, what must / be believing in order to
be feeling this way+! /n this way you can flush out limiting beliefs that are operating out of awareness.
Ex. !/ feel tension in my solar plexus when she frowns li"e that. / must believe she disli"es me, or
thin"s /$m bad or wrong. 4urther / must believe that her disapproval can cost me energy. /f / choose to
pull bac" my energy and attention to me, she can$t hurt me or drain me. What really matters is what /
thin" about myself.!
#ometimes pulling your energy bac" means to disengage and remove yourself from the scene. lthough it
could simply mean focusing inwardly on the breath to ma"e it slow and even. /n this way tense social
situations where you might feel compelled to fill a social void with insincere offers, or irrelevant chatter
pass easily. ;ou are at the center of your own life and all is well. 0obody owes you anything and
conversely you don$t owe others a diminished #elf.
Beliefs seem to have relative merit. &ertain beliefs cost a lot to maintain. n example from my life would
be an over invested belief in the whole romantic love thing. -uch of my personal energy, the energy that
gets this web site done or doesn$t was tied up in resisting what was, while demanding what wasn$t. /n this
way / s5uandered my precious life(force and had a crappy time of it. / had a belief that the highest
expression of love was romantic behavior. s / reframed that, many sources of love deepened and : or
appeared. / let go of demands for things to be other than they were and guess what+ / now have a 5uality
of attention and care that exceeds what / held in my head as ideal.
3ositive beliefs generate energy. 3ositive thoughts attract positive people and situations. 3ositive beliefs
re5uire little investment and pay a high dividend. This is because perceived helplessness is the most
energy sapping condition. To ta"e dominion over the mind is to regain some perceived sense of control.
There is enormous power in the ability to assume there is a way to meet any given circumstance and you
will find it.
#tudies were done on holocaust survivors in order to learn from their life experiences. 9ictor 4ran"el who
was a survivor himself found there was one thing that determined how well people recovered and
renewed their lives after the war. Those who found meaning in the experience went on to live well. Those
who remained in the victim stance in some ways never escaped imprisonment.
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#o / repeat... some thoughts are li"e good food, they nourish and sustain. /n order to have authentic
power you have to 2ettison what no longer wor"s, what no longer energetically !feeds! you. nything that
"eeps you from the experience of your personal power needs to be lovingly released. This process of
letting go is directed by inner being who "nows what needs to happen and when. /t is part of the map and
it spans the arenas of body:mind:spirit: and emotions. s you become more coherent you develop
authentic power and it$s corresponding energy. This is the 5uality and 5uantity of energy it ta"es to fuel a
vision.
;ou will find that intimacy renews and falseness deadens. /n this context what / mean by intimacy is the
ability to show and:or share who you really are with another. /t also means being receptive to whoever
unfolds before you. /t is an exchange and therefore it has a synergistic 5uality. 4alseness has a wooden
inanimate 5uality. Energy doesn$t flow and neither do good warm feelings. By monitoring how real you are
you can tell what$s going on. /f all you$re getting is a mas" loo" out. /f you feel so 2udged that you can$t be
real, loo" out.