BradP

Featuring The Shocker

BradP
Instant Attraction
2009 Underground Dating Seminar Corp.
Instant Attraction is copyright 2009 and is owned y !rad ". and #he Underground Dating
Seminar Corporation. Unauthori$ed dup%ication is prohiited. I& you otained this oo' through
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BradP
Instant Attraction
PRESS AND TESTIMONIALS
Only Turn to Brad P to Learn How to Attract Women
I& you-re serious aout %earning how to attract women( I high%y recommend that
you %oo' up !rad ". 2 I-,e gotten nothing ut 03+A# &eedac' aout the
inter,iew I did with him( and I thin' he-s one o& the &ew rea%( so%id guys teaching
this 'ind o& materia%.
Da,id DeAnge%o
Dou%e*ourDating.com
Brad is the BEST TEACHER of Seduction
!rad " is ama$ing. 4e is a master at rapport and at connecting with women.
5ore important%y( he is a%e to con,ey those s'i%%s to others. 4e has methods
that wor' and that are tai%ora%e to anyone-s uni6ue persona%ity.
Da,id Shade
5aster&u%7o,er.com
Brad Runs Circles Around Other Gurus
#here-s 89#4I80 he isn-t good at when it comes to game.
Sinn
Sinns9&Attraction.com
ncredi!ly nno"ati"e #aterial
!rad is an incredi%e inno,ator.
#hundercat
#hundercatsSeduction7air.com
$um!er One Pic%u& Artist in the World
#a%' aout %egendary status:
#S!mag.com
THE BEST 'atin( Coach Around
!rad " is one o& the est dating coaches around( a true origina%.
ApproachAn.iety.com
Students Ha"e Ama)in( Results
4is students are among the est I-,e seen.
Sa,oy
7o,eSystems
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BradP
Instant Attraction
The #ost Ori(inal and Successful Teachin( Style
!rad " is one o& the est dating coaches around( a true origina%.
+ric
ApproachAn.iety.com
After *ust a +ew Seconds,,, -new He Was an A!solute #ASTER
A &riend o& mine 'ept ra,ing aout !rad "-s stu&&( and I was a %itt%e re%uctant to
%isten to it ecause most stu&& is garage. 1ithin S+C98DS o& hearing him( I
'new right o&& the at that this guy is an aso%ute master. #here are maye &i,e
peop%e in the community who are actua%%y what they c%aim to e and !rad " is
de&inite%y one o& them. I thin' you wou%d e doing a ig disser,ice to yourse%& i&
you didn-t use him as a resource to get your game to where it deser,es to e.
0eo&&
3ea% Socia% Dynamics
3ead a%% re,iews here) radp.com;re,iews.
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BradP
Instant Attraction
ABOUT THEAUTHOR
4i. I-m !rad ". and I run the Underground Dating Seminar in 8ew *or' City.
#han's &or chec'ing out my oo'. <or those who ha,en-t met me at one o& my
seminars( I-%% te%% you a %itt%e it aout myse%&.
I-m an a,erage %oo'ing guy. 29 years o%d( 'inda ta%% and gang%y. I want proa%y
the same type o& gir% that e,eryone wants2 hot( smart( got2it2together( not
psycho. Unti% a &ew years ago I was ,ery scared o& approaching gir%s. I was pretty
dor'y in high schoo%. I had no idea how to act or what to do around women. I
a%ways &e%t %i'e they didn-t %i'e me( and that &ear o& re=ection rea%%y was
para%y$ing &or me. I started doing things that seemed to e wor'ing &or other
guys. I got in a roc' and( p%ayed sports( got good grades( ut nothing seemed
to wor' ecause I didn-t ha,e the right attitude. +,erything %oo'ed great on
paper( ut I sti%% cou%dn-t get a gir%&riend( ha,e se.( or e,en 'iss a gir%.
+,entua%%y as I got o%der things got a it etter( ut I cou%d a%ways see that there
were other guys that seemed to get A77 the gir%s( and they weren-t super good
%oo'ing( rich( or &amous. #hey were not much di&&erent than you or me( ut they
had a certain something that women cou%dn-t resist. I decided to try to %earn
their secrets and I read up on psycho%ogy( attraction( and e,o%ution.
It turns out that women e.perience attraction in a ,ery di&&erent way than men.
1hi%e men are attracted y physica% stu&& >ig oos( waist;hips ratio( etc?...
1omen are attracted to "+3S98A7I#* #3AI#S2 things %i'e con&idence(
%eadership( humor( etc. A %ot o& the things that women are attracted to simp%y
don-t ma'e sense unti% you start to %earn what insiders %i'e me 'now. <or
e.amp%e( why are women attracted to ad ass guys( guys that treat them poor%y(
guys who don-t ca%%@ It ma'es no sense::
8ow I understand why things are the way they are( ut it too' time to %earn it.
8ow I-m at the point where I ha,e tons o& hotties( threesomes a%% the time( and I
can get a gir%-s numer pretty easi%y. Succeeding with women is a s'i%% that you
can %earn2 %i'e 'ung &u or p%aying the piano. *ou don-t need to e good %oo'ing or
rich( you =ust ha,e to show the right persona%ity traits and 'now what the
insiders 'now.
I-,e een tra,e%ing a%% o,er the wor%d since 200A testing di&&erent techni6ues and
theories. In the eginning( I went out and approached women B days a wee' &or
A2C hours a day. A&ter aout a year o& doing that( I had %earned so much that a%%
my &riends were as'ing &or ad,ice on meeting women. It was %i'e I had magica%
powers and e,eryone wanted me to grant them a wish. #he on%y pro%em was
that my ad,ice was usua%%y the e.act opposite o& what mainstream society te%%s
us wi%% wor' with women.
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Instant Attraction
5ainstream society te%%s you to uy women drin's. I say don-t o&&er to uy stu&&
&or peop%e you don-t 'now. It ma'es you seem weird. #he mainstream te%%s you
to comp%iment women. I say it-s etter to tease them and act chi%dish. #he
mainstream te%%s us the &irst thing a woman %oo's at is your shoes. I say that-s
ridicu%ous. #hey %oo' at your &ace( your coat( and your hair e&ore noticing your
shoes. #hin' aout it. 1hen was the %ast time you saw a group o& women
wa%'ing around staring at guys- shoes@
#hese are things I %earned y spending thousands o& hours meeting women in
ars( ma%%s( gas stations( and par'ing %ots. I-,e e,en met women at tra&&ic %ights
and success&u%%y seduced them in under 2A hours.
It-s pretty disi%%usioning to &ind out that 9DE o& e,erything you-,e e,er een to%d
aout meeting women is wrong( ut that =ust ma'es &inding the right way so
much more e.citing. So I decided to throw it a%% out and teach peop%e a new way.
#his is how the Underground Dating Seminar was orn. In 5arch( 200D( I started
gi,ing %aid ac' seminars in the upstairs o& a pi$$a p%ace in 5anhattan. #he
students wou%d come in and ha,e some pi$$a and a &ew eers. I-d ta%' o&& the
top o& my head &or a &ew hours aout how to succeed with women. I was happy
to e a%e to pass on the %essons I had %earned and earn a &ew uc's in the
process. #he seminars were %ots o& &un and a rewarding %itt%e side corner o& my
%i&eF unti% word o& mouth spread and peop%e started showing up &rom 4ong
Gong( Austra%ia( and e,erywhere e%se.
"eop%e were getting resu%ts. 9ne guy started dating a semi2&amous newswoman.
Another guy had a threesome with 2 strippers. #y wac%y little &i))a &lace
seminar had turned into a $ew .or% City le(end, It 6uic'%y ecame a &u%%
time gig &or me( and I had to %earn how to create a wesite( CDs( and e!oo's.
>Some o& this technica% stu&& was more comp%icated than anything that goes on
with meeting women:?
It-s a &un e.perience to impro,e your dating %i&e( and it-s something you owe to
yourse%& as a man. It ta'es time to get good at it( ut there are some things you
can try right away that wi%% get you resu%ts that are surprising.
As &ar as my 6ua%i&ications2 I ha,e a degree in psycho%ogy and phi%osophy. I-,e
had success&u% careers as a teacher( a as'eta%% coach( and a socia% wor'er. I
'now how to teach peop%e new s'i%%s. I 'now how to get the most out o& my
students. 4e%ping peop%e reach their potentia% has a%ways een important to me.
I-,e wor'ed with chi%dren who ha,e cancer( at2ris' uran teens( peop%e with
%earning disai%ities( and the menta%%y i%%.
I-,e read a great dea% o& scienti&ic %iterature on the su=ect2 which consists o&
anthropo%ogy( e,o%utionary psycho%ogy( and cross cu%tura% studies. Since I-,e read
it and wor'ed it into the method( it means you don-t ha,e to read a%% that dense(
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BradP
Instant Attraction
con&using in&ormation >e,en though it wou%dn-t hurt?( you can =ust reap the
ene&its.
Again( than's &or chec'ing out my oo' and I wish you a%% the est o& %uc' in
your dating %i&e and re%ationships:
2!rad ".
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BradP
Instant Attraction
THEPURPOSE OF THIS BOOK
#his oo' is intended to gi,e you a 6uic' start on approaching women and
impro,ing your dating %i&e. It is designed to e read in one or two sittings so you
can go ahead and get started approaching women the same day you uy the
oo'. I-,e ta'en the est openers and most essentia% pieces o& pic'up theory and
put them into a concise guide that wi%% get you e.cited aout meeting women.
9ne pro%em I o&ten see in men who are =ust getting started approaching
womenH is in&ormation o,er%oad. #he prospect o& approaching women seems
&rightening at &irst( so in order to put it o&& &or as %ong as possi%e( they spent
wee's and months reading e,erything they can &ind on the topic. #hen when
they &ina%%y get up the guts to go out and ta%' to a woman( they ha,e so many
di&&erent ideas swir%ing around at once that it ecomes di&&icu%t to &ocus on
anything. Don-t %et this happen to you.
Don-t %et education e your e.cuse &or procrastinating. *ou must get some rea%
%i&e e.perience approaching women. 1ithout this( there is no conte.t &or the
in&ormation you-re reading( and it a%% ecomes meaning%ess.
I ha,e so many things to teach you aout succeeding with women. In my CD
set( Underground Dating Seminar you wi%% hear me ta%'ing to students &or o,er
I2 hours aout the intricacies and particu%ars o& meeting women. I strong%y
suggest you wor' with this oo' &or at %east a wee' or 2 e&ore pic'ing up those
CDs. *ou need rea% %i&e e.perience in order to get the most out o& Underground
Dating Seminar.
9G now( get usy reading. I want you to &%y through this oo'( pic' out your 2
&a,orite openers( and get out there and do it:
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Instant Attraction
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Cha&ter / 0 ntroduction ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, /
S'i%% Set...................................................................................................... I
Cha&ter 1 0 Pur&ose of O&eners ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 2
Cha&ter 2 0 Contin(encies ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 3
Cha&ter 4 0 The Shoc%er ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 5
4orse 0ir% Shoc'er ......................................................................................B
Sea&ood Shoc'er......................................................................................... 9
Se.y Shoes Shoc'er...................................................................................I0
Cha&ter 3 0 Build .our Own Shoc%er ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, //
Aout the Shoc'er..................................................................................... II
!ui%d *our 9wn Shoc'er 1or'sheet............................................................ I2
Cha&ter 5 0 +ree +orm O&eners ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, /2
#e.t 5essage 9pener................................................................................ IJ
4igh <i,e 9pener ><or 0roups?..................................................................ID
7esian D#3 9pener..................................................................................IC
Kua%ity Contro% 9pener.............................................................................. IB
#a%'ing Shit 9pener................................................................................... IL
Secret Shopper 9pener..............................................................................I9
Cha&ter 6 0 $eutral O&inion O&eners Analy)ed ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 17
9prah 1in&rey 9pener............................................................................... 22
5onster #ruc' 9pener............................................................................... 2J
Disney 5usic 9pener................................................................................. 2A
Cha&ter 8 0 Hi(h 9alue O&eners ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 13
9n%y 0ir% 9pener....................................................................................... 2C
7ast 1ee'-s 7ay.........................................................................................2C
4eather 4arrison >rapid de%i,ery?................................................................2B
Cha&ter : 0 Low 9alue O&eners ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 18
<or dor's and p%ayers................................................................................ 2L
"sycho%ogist 9pener.................................................................................. 29
Giss 9pener.............................................................................................. 29
#hum 1rest%ing 9pener........................................................................... J0
Cha&ter /7 0 Situational O&eners ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 2/
Shared enthusiasm.................................................................................... J2
3idd%e Sty%e...............................................................................................J2
Internet Date >ridd%e sty%e?.........................................................................J2
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Instant Attraction
Common #hemes...................................................................................... J2
Carson Dai%y 9pener >common theme?....................................................... JJ
Customi$ed to the group............................................................................JJ
Cha&ter // 0 Cold Reads ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 24
Seria% dater >&ema%e truism?....................................................................... JD
*ou-re gonna e rich >&un to e%ie,e in?......................................................JD
Sudden &ashion e,a%uation ........................................................................ JD
Cha&ter /1 0 How to ;se This nformation ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 25
3u%e MI) "repare 2 openers e&ore going out. ............................................JB
3u%e M2) 0o in right away. ........................................................................ JB
3u%e MJ) #ry each opener at %east D times e&ore discarding it. ...................JB
Cha&ter /2 0 'ealin( with Ad"ersity ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 28
"ercei,ed "ro%em) She-s with a guy........................................................... JL
"ercei,ed "ro%em) 1hat i& she says 9h is that a pic'up %ine@ I-,e heard this
one e&ore............................................................................................... A0
"ercei,ed "ro%em) 4er oy&riend wa%'s in in the midd%e o& us ta%'ing...........A0
"ercei,ed "ro%em) 1hat i& I get in a &ight whi%e doing approaches@.............AI
"ercei,ed "ro%em) She-s with a group.......................................................A2
"ercei,ed "ro%em) I &ee% %i'e I-m interrupting.............................................A2
"ercei,ed "ro%em) She seems usy...........................................................A2
"ercei,ed "ro%em) She says she has a oy&riend........................................ AJ
"ercei,ed "ro%em) She-s wa%'ing and I don-t 'now how to get her to stop.. .AJ
"ercei,ed "ro%em) She 'eeps saying weird things trying to throw me o&&.....AA
Cha&ter /4 0 A&&roach An<iety ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 43
Approach An.iety Dont-s............................................................................ AD
Approach An.iety 5usts ............................................................................AD
Cha&ter /3 0 +ear of Re=ection ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 46
3e=ection is your &riend.
<ear&u% para%ysis is your enemy. .................................................................AB
3e=ection &orces you to get some a%%s........................................................ AB
3e=ection is your &riend ecause it ma'es the &ear go away..........................AL
*our rea% enemy is &ear&u% para%ysis. ...........................................................AL
Cha&ter /5 0 The ntan(i!les ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 4:
<un Attitude.............................................................................................. A9
0ir%s =ust wanna ha,e &un...........................................................................A9
Sincere interest in the woman.................................................................... D0
"ositi,e Intentions &or the Interaction......................................................... DI
Cha&ter /6 0 Where Learned This Stuff ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 31
Bonus #aterial> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 32
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BradP
Instant Attraction
Cotton Candy............................................................................................ DJ
*oga 9pener............................................................................................. DJ
Glossary ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 34
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CHAPTER 1 - INTRODUCTION
Dating eauti&u% women is hard. #here-s a re%ati,e%y sma%% numer o& them out there and they
get as'ed out I0 times a day y a%% 'inds o& guys. #o ma'e matters worse( most men ha,e
ne,er een taught how to interact with women in an attracti,e way. *ou can-t %earn it in
schoo% or &rom your parents. As' your &riends or cowor'ers and you-re ound to get use%ess
ad,ice %i'e N!e respect&u%(N or N!uy her a drin'.N #hat 'ind o& ad,ice is ,ague and
counterproducti,e. 1e-,e a%% tried &ocusing on eing respect&u%. It-s a one way tic'et to the
&riend $one.
So what-s a guy supposed to do@
I-,e spent a great dea% o& time studying what wor's est to attract and date eauti&u% women.
I-,e disco,ered that there are 2 important aspects to this part o& a man-s %i&e)
I. De,e%oping an attracti,e identity.
2. De,e%oping a set o& s'i%%s that he%ps you through the ,arious stages o& interacting with
women.
<or more in&o on de,e%oping an attracti,e identity( p%ease re&er to my audio CD series( which
is a,ai%a%e at radp.com;oo's2audio. #his oo' wi%% dea% with speci&ic parts o& the s'i%% set
needed to e attracti,e to women.
SKILL SET
Attracting women is a s'i%% that can e %earned. I& you read up on the topic and wor' hard(
you wi%% impro,e and meet your goa%s. 7i'e any s'i%% worth %earning( attracting women
re6uires a great dea% o& time and e&&ort. #here are no 6uic' &i.es &or most guys.... ut the
rewards o& %earning this s'i%% set are e.treme%y en=oya%e.
1hen %earning a s'i%% set to approach women( the &irst part most men &ocus on is the opening
%ine. #his is a great p%ace to start. I& you can %earn how to approach any woman you see and
ha,e at %east 2 or J minutes o& interesting con,ersation( it ui%ds con&idence and opens the
door to a who%e new wor%d o& ad,enture and &un with women.
#here are pre%iminary s'i%%s you shou%d consider %earning in order to de%i,er opening %ines
e&&ecti,e%y. #hese are)
2 !ody %anguage
2 /oice tone
2 <ashion and sty%e
2 Identity ui%ding
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2 Con,ersationa% repertoire
2 9,ercoming approach an.iety
2 "ro=ecting 4igh Socia% /a%ue
"%ease consu%t my audio CD series &or more on these topics. #his oo' wi%% &ocus on e.posing
you to L di&&erent strategies on openers( and how to &o%%ow these openers with additiona%
con,ersation. A&ter a%%( what good is a great opening %ine i& you don-t 'now what to say ne.t@
I-%% a%so e inc%uding some in depth ana%ysis on the e&&ects o& these di&&erent reeds o&
openers so you can choose what-s right &or you. I& you choose wise%y and practice( you won-t
need more than 2 or J great openers in order to approach any woman at any time.
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Instant Attraction
CHAPTER 2 - PURPOSE OF OPENERS
#here are D main goa%s that you shou%d try to accomp%ish with your opener)
I. !rea' the ice.
2. 0et the gir% ta%'ing.
J. 0et the gir% %aughing.
A. +sta%ish high socia% ,a%ue.
D. !egin ui%ding and;or rea'ing rapport.
1hen you ecome pro&icient at approaching women( there is a C
th
purpose( screening out
incompati%e women. <or now don-t worry aout that( =ust stic' to the &irst D.
A&ter years o& research and testing( I-,e come to the conc%usion that prep%anned( scripted
openers are the most e&&ecti,e in accomp%ishing these goa%s.
<or some men( this idea o& eing NscriptedN may e a hard pi%% to swa%%ow. 1e-d a%% %i'e to
e%ie,e that we can =ust wa%' up to a woman and say N4i( what-s your name@N and ha,e her
tota%%y capti,ated and attracted. <or most men( inc%uding me( that-s =ust not the case. I&
something as simp%e as that was wor'ing &or you( you proa%y wou%dn-t e reading this
oo'.
I-m not saying that N4i( how are you@N wi%% ne,er wor'. I-,e seen it wor' here and there &or
guys who are e.treme%y good %oo'ing( charming( or ha,e ama$ing ody %anguage. 4owe,er(
my goa% in this oo' is to gi,e you strategies that can wor' &or e,eryone( not =ust guys who
%oo' %i'e mode%s.
So i& you are rea%%y stuc' on the idea o& wa%'ing up to women and saying Nhi thereN go right
ahead and try it out. #hen a&ter you-,e e.perienced the %ow success rate o& this techni6ue
&irst hand( come on ac' home and &inish reading my oo'. N4i thereN is what e,eryone does.
*ou must set yourse%& apart &rom a%% the annoying men who approach woman this way. I& you
do e.act%y what e,eryone e%se does( you wi%% get e.act%y what e,eryone e%se gets) %aid
occasiona%%y.
1omen %i'e men who can ma'e them %augh( so thin' o& yourse%& as a stand up comedian.
Comedians don-t get up on stage and ta%' o&& the top o& their head. #hey p%an ahead and
prepare the est possi%e materia%. #hen they e,a%uate the ,ie o& the audience and do the
routines that they thin' wi%% wor' est. #hen when things are going we%%( they start to &%ow
into more spontaneous interaction with the audience.
7i'e a stand up comedian( you can de%i,er a &ew &unny things to start o&&( and then get into a
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Instant Attraction
natura% &%ow o& con,ersation once you rea' the ice.
I encourage you to open your mind to new ideas on how to ta%' to women( starting with
scripted openers. Are you &ee%ing open minded@ 0ood. 7et me te%% you aout the C reeds o&
openers that are most e&&ecti,e &or meeting women)
I. #he Shoc'er
2. <ree <orm 9peners
2. 8eutra% 9pinion 9peners
J. Situationa% 9peners
A. 4igh /a%ue 9peners
D. 7ow /a%ue 9peners
C. Co%d 3eads
+ach o& these reeds presents its own set o& ad,antages and cha%%enges( which wi%% e
e.p%ained in Chapters A thru I0. !e&ore we get into that( %et-s thin' a it aout how to &o%%ow
up these openers with contin(encies.
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CHAPTER 3 - CONTINGENCIES
An opener genera%%y generates on%y 2 or J possi%e reactions in a gir%. 1hen you go out and
try these openers( pay c%ose attention to the reactions you get. A&ter you de%i,er an opener
I0 or 20 times( the reactions wi%% ecome ,ery predicta%e to you. #hen you can prepare
structured &o%%ow ups which are contingent on how the gir% responds to the opener. 4a,ing
great contingencies ma'es you much %ess %i'e%y to run out o& things to ta%' aout or get
re=ected. It-s an important part o& creating your con,ersationa% repertoire.
#he est way to de,e%op great contingencies is to go out and de%i,er openers. 7earn what the
possi%e reactions to the opener are. #hen try to rememer the &unny stu&& you said in the
moment. 1rite it down so you can use it again. #hese spontaneous ursts o& humor are the
asis &or your contingencies and the rest o& your con,ersationa% repertoire.
I see a%% responses to openers as &a%%ing into these three categories)
I. "ositi,e
2. Con&used
J. 8egati,e
As you are processing your interactions with women( ma'e a menta% note on whether your
opener resu%ted in a positi,e( con&used( or negati,e response. #hese J simp%e categories wi%%
he%p you &ormu%ate your contingencies more easi%y.
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CHAPTER 4 - THESHOCKER
#4+ S49CG+3 is my own persona% creation. I &ind it to e the most e&&ecti,e method o&
approaching women ecause it accomp%ishes a%% D goa%s o& an opener when e.ecuted
correct%y.
#here are A main ingredients to #4+ S49CG+3)
I. Hoo% ?uestion,
#his is a 6uestion which sounds i$arre or random at &irst. A hoo' 6uestion shou%d stop
any gir% in her trac's. #hey wi%% immediate%y &ee% con&used and intrigued. *ou can use
this con&usion to your ad,antage. 0ir%s who are con&used wi%% usua%%y want you to
e.p%ain yourse%&. #hen when you go into the ne.t part o& the script( they wi%% stic'
around to hear what you ha,e to say. It-s the on%y way to cure the con&usion.
2. A storyline,
In the story%ine( there shou%d e an interaction etween you and a gir%( and you shou%d
ha,e higher socia% ,a%ue than the gir%. Using story te%%ing right away wi%% a%%ow you to
create a ma'e2e%ie,e wor%d inside the woman-s mind. #he stories are made up &or
entertainment purposes( and most women rea%i$e this instincti,e%y. 4owe,er( the
process o& wa%'ing her through the story wi%% ma'e a woman &ee% suconscious%y that
you rea%%y do ha,e higher socia% ,a%ue than her. Don-t wait around &or high socia% ,a%ue:
Create it immediate%y in your opener:
J. Social tension,
Socia% tension is the asis o& most humor. #he more you increase the socia% tension(
the igger the %augh is when you get to the punch %ine.
A. Punch line, 4ere are some e.amp%es o& #4+ S49CG+3 with contingencies. *ou can
use these e.act %ines to meet women. I-,e tested them many times and taught them
to my students.
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HORSE GIRL SHOCKER
>1ith J contingencies.?
*9U) N4ey do you %i'e horses@N
0I37) 4U4@ Umm... yeah I guess.N
*9U) N4mm( I thought so. 9G chec' this out( when I was in the Cth grade(
there was this gir% who %o,ed horses. She used to run around the
p%ayground &or an hour straight at %unchtime. She-d e ga%%oping and
ma'ing horse noises. 1e used to ca%% her the weird horse gir%.N
0I37) *eah( so@N
*9U) N1e%%... you %oo' QUS# 7IG+ 4+3:N
CONTINGENCY #1: SHE'S LAUGHING (POSITIVE REACTION)
0I37) N4ey:: >gigg%ing and smi%ing? I-m not the weird horse gir%:::N
*9U) N9G that-s coo%. I& it was me I wou%dn-t admit it either. 8ow I-m not
saying you-re de&inite%y her( ut =ust in case you are( I want to te%% you I-m
sorry.N
0I37) NSorry &or what@N
*9U) NSorry &or a%% the times I made &un o& you. See( in schoo% I was
a%ways one o& the coo% 'ids. And I used to ma'e &un o& the horse gir%. 8ow
I-m o%der and more mature( and I &ee% ad. So do you &orgi,e me@N
0I37) N9G I &orgi,e you.N
))4U0 4U0 4U0))
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CONTINGENCY #2: SHE'S CONFUSED
*9U) NAww( so cute( you didn-t get the =o'e.N
Qust rea' the story down( te%% it to her again more s%ow%y( then go into the same e.act
routine as contingency MI( which ends with you egging &orgi,eness and getting a hug.
CONTINGENCY #3: SHE'S PISSED OFF
9ccasiona%%y you-re going to get a ad reaction. A ad reaction isn-t a%ways your &au%t. Some
women are =ust moody or irrita%e. I& you happen to start ta%'ing to a moody( negati,e
woman and she has a ad reaction to your opener( don-t ta'e it persona%%y. It proa%y has
nothing to do with you. Qust mo,e on to the ne.t woman. #hey-re mi%%ions more women out
there.
I& %ots o& women ta'e the =o'e the wrong way( it means that your de%i,ery needs wor'. It
must e c%ear that this is a p%ay&u% =o'e( and that you-re not actua%%y trying to e insu%ting.
#his can e accomp%ished in many ways. <or me( acting way too serious and a it
o,erdramatic is usua%%y a good way to signa% that the who%e thing is =ust &or &un( and not
actua%%y an attempt to insu%t someone. 9ther times I-%% do the opener ,ery s%ow%y and act
emarrassed that I-m actua%%y te%%ing this story &rom Cth grade.
In the moment( a negati,e reaction can e scary: Some gir%s wi%% e rea%%y itchy and you-%%
want to wa%' away. 8ow you-,e got 2 options.
+irst O&tion@ I& you-re a eginner( go ahead and wa%' away. #hen a&ter you wa%' away(
immediate%y run the +RAC# SA5+ 7I8+ on the ne.t gir% or group o& gir%s you see. Don-t gi,e
yourse%& time to create negati,e thought patterns: #a%' to more gir%s immediate%y( e,en i&
they-re not that cute:: *ou wi%% see that it-s not your &au%t that some gir%s are itchy. #his wi%%
he%p you e%iminate your &ear o& approaching women. It is essentia% that you start ta%'ing to
other women within ID seconds. I& you wait e,en 2 or J minutes( you might &ind yourse%&
rep%aying the ad interaction o,er and o,er in your head and eating yourse%& up o,er it. #his
is comp%ete%y counterproducti,e( so don-t do it. Qust &orget aout it and mo,e on 6uic'%y.
Second O&tion@ <or those who are not eginners( D9 89# 1A7G A1A*:: *ou wi%% &ee%
scared inside( your hands may e,en sha'e a it( ut =ust stay in there: It-s %i'e riding a
mechanica% u%%. #ry to at %east stay on &or another L seconds. Show the gir% that you are not
scared o& her( you are not at a%% a&&ected y her eing itchy. Stay as ca%m as possi%e. Sit to
the side o& her %oo'ing straight &orward. 9ccasiona%%y %oo' at her o,er your shou%der( and
de%i,er your contingency.
4ere-s a true story o& how it p%ayed out &or me recent%y)
0I37) N1hat the he%% do you mean aout me %i'ing horses@@ Do you %i'e
your teeth where they are@ Cause i& you don-t get the he%% away &rom me
right now I-m going to 'noc' your teeth right out o& your head:N
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!3AD ") N7isten( I-m =ust eing socia% and ha,ing &un. *ou D9 %oo' %i'e
someone I used to 'now. Anyway( I can te%% a %ot aout you &rom the way
your conducting yourse%& right now. I et you act %i'e this a%% the time( and
when you do( a %ot o& peop%e thin' you-re a rea% itch. !ut I can te%% that
you-re not. I thin' that deep down( you-re as sensiti,e as a %itt%e gir%. Sure(
a %ot o& peop%e may thin' you-re stuc' up( ut you don-t ha,e to act %i'e
that towards me.N
In this case( the gir% was I00E attracted to me a&ter I showed her I had enough a%%s to
stand up to her. 20 minutes %ater I was ma'ing out with her.... and her &riend.... hehehe.
SEAFOOD SHOCKER
*9U) NDo you %i'e sea&ood@N
0I37) N4uh;yes;noN
*9U) N9' chec' this out. 1hen I was in Lth grade( there was this gir% who
wou%d a%ways ring weird sea&ood to schoo% in a rown paper ag. It tota%%y
stun' up the who%e ca&eteria. She wou%d sit there and eat s6uid and
octopus. It was so weird. 1e used to ca%% her the weird sea&ood gir%.N
0I37) N3ea%%y@N
*9U) N*ea( and you %oo' QUS# 7IG+ 4+3:N
C98#I80+8C*
*9U) N1e%%( I don-t 'now i& you-re her or not( ut =ust in case you are( I
want to te%% you I-m sorry.N
0I37) NSorry &or what@N
*9U) N1e%% this one time the schoo% u%%y too' her octopus sandwich out o&
the #upperware when she wasn-t %oo'ing. 4e put the who%e octopus in his
mouth and wa%'ed around the ca&eteria scaring 'ids with it. 8ow that I-m
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o%der I 'now that I shou%d ha,e he%ped the weird sea&ood gir% out. I
shou%dn-t ha,e made &un o& her. I-,e een carrying around S9 much gui%t a%%
these years. Cou%d you e,er &orgi,e me@N
0I37) >p%aying a%ong? N*eah: *ou made &un o& me too much:N
*9U) NCou%d you e,er &orgi,e me@N
0I37) N1e%%( 9G.N
*9U) N9h( I &ee% so much etter.N ))4U0 4U0 4U0
SEXY SHOES SHOCKER
*9U) 4ow many pairs o& shoes do you ha,e@
0I37) 20 or J0( why do you as'@
*9U) #here was this gir% I used to wor' with years ago( and she had I2D pairs
o& shoes. She-d ring a who%e ag o& shoes to wor' with her and then she-d
change her shoes e,ery ha%& hour. !ut there was one speci&ic pair that she
wou%d put on once a day( and she wou%d prance y my des' in them and do this
rea%%y se.y wa%'. It was the weirdest thing. 1e used to ca%% her se.y shoe gir%.
0I37) 1hat-s your point@
*9U) *ou-re wearing the e.act same shoes. Are you the se.y shoe gir%@ Are
you sti%% sta%'ing me years and years %ater@ *ou were doing the wa%' when you
saw me come in....
Try a Shocker storyline in a group setting. If you're out with 2 girls Try a Shocker storyline in a group setting. If you're out with 2 girls
you know and 2 girls who are new, wait until half an hour in, then you know and 2 girls who are new, wait until half an hour in, then
ask one of the new girls if she likes horses. Re contextualizing ask one of the new girls if she likes horses. Re contextualizing
openers helps build your conersational repertoire! openers helps build your conersational repertoire!
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CHAPTER 5 - BUILD YOUR OWN SHOCKER
ABOUT THE SHOCKER
I-,e tried many di&&erent types o& openers( and nothing wor's near%y as we%% as #4+
S49CG+3. I-,e taught my students a%% L types o& openers( and they-,e had the most success
when using #4+ S49CG+3.
I in,ented it aout 2 years ago( and it is ased on a true story. #here rea%%y was a gir% in my
c%ass who %o,ed horses a %itt%e too much. I sti%% rememer her. She wasn-t a ad %oo'ing gir%(
ut ecause o& her osession with horses( she was regarded as ha,ing ,ery %ow socia% ,a%ue.
I started te%%ing women the story and as'ing i& they were her( and it a%ways got such an
intense reaction. I 'new I had something that wou%d a%ways wor'.
A&ter stum%ing onto the idea( I had to &igure out 14* it wor's so we%%. I-d %i'e to pass on
these %essons to you so you can ui%d your own S49CG+3 openers that &ee%s com&orta%e and
natura% to you.
I. #he Shoc'er ui%ds S9CIA7 /A7U+ y creating a Ncoo% 'idN &rame.
2. #he Shoc'er ypasses women-s tendency to SC3++8 *9U when you
approach.
J. #he Shoc'er creates a &un( %ight2hearted ,ie.
A. #he Shoc'er is ased on a &ema%e truism. 5ost gir%s rea%%y do %i'e horses(
sea&ood( and se.y shoes.
8ow that you understand the structure o& #4+ S49CG+3( and why it wor's( it-s time to
create a &ew o& your own. Use this wor'sheet to create your own persona%i$ed S49CG+3
9"+8+3:
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BUILD YOUR OWN SHOCKER WORKSHEET
9pen up a new document on your computer to do some &ree writing. <ree writing is when
you =ust %et your mind wander in a creati,e way( ma'ing no e&&ort to criti6ue the ideas you-re
generating. 0enerate %ots and %ots o& ideas( then wait unti% %ater to e,a%uate them.
FREE WRITE ON THESE TOPICS:
I. #hin' o& a situation &rom your chi%dhood that was oth &unny and emarrassing. It can
e something that happened to you or to someone e%se. 1rite it down.
2. 8ow thin' o& a time when someone e%se was eing made &un o& and you didn-t he%p
them. 1rite it down.
J. #hin' o& a time when you were coo%er than a good %oo'ing gir%. 1rite it down.
A. #hin' o& some o& the weird things women do when they-re trying to pursue a guy.
D. #hin' o& a &ew weird things that gir%s are into. 5a'e a %ist. 8ow write a &ew sentences
that te%% an e.aggerated( dramatic story aout how one o& those things cou%d ecome
an osession and %ead to a %oss o& socia% ,a%ue. !e creati,e:
EVALUATE AND SYNTHESI!E:
8ow that your creati,e =uices are &%owing( ta'e one o& the situations ao,e and create your
own Shoc'er 9pener.
3ememer to use the A e%ements o& #4+ S49CG+3)
I. Start with a 499G KU+S#I98.
2. 8e.t comes your S#93*7I8+.
J. !ui%d the S9CIA7 #+8SI98.
A. +nd with a "U8C4 7I8+.
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CHAPTER 6 - FREEFORM OPENERS
4ere-s a &ew more openers &rom my persona% stash. #hese are %ess &ormu%aic than the others(
ut re%y on some the simi%ar de,ices2 hoo' 6uestions( punch %ines( etc.
TEXT "ESSAGE OPENER
"repare y ha,ing someone send you a te.t message that says 1ow you-re hot.
#hen( se%ect a gir% you want to meet and ma'e eye contact with her. Stare at your phone(
then stare ac' at the gir%. 1a%' o,er %oo'ing ac' and &orth &rom the phone to the gir%. #his
ui%ds socia% tension.
*9U) Did you =ust te.t me@
0I37S) 1hat( huh@
*9U) N1e%% I don-t get it. 4ow did you get my numer@ Do you wor' &or
the phone company or something@N >stare at phone?
0I37S) N8o we don-t wor' &or the phone company( I didn-t te.t you...N
#hey wi%% start reaching &or your phone at this point. Don-t %et them see it:
#his ui%ds more socia% tension.
0I37S) 1hat does it say@
*9U) 1hat are you shy or something@ I-m right here( you cou%d ha,e =ust
wa%'ed o,er and said this to me.N
!y this time the gir%s wi%% e pu%%ing on your arm trying to see the phone(
then you show it and it says 1ow you-re hot. #hey wi%% die %aughing.
*9U) N9' this is a cute game. I-%% p%ay a%ong since you guys are a%% shy. I-%%
e,en te.t you ac'. 1hat-s you-re numer@N
0I37S) >say their numer?
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*9U) >#e.t ac' I 'now.?
8ow you ha,e her numer. She &ee%s %i'e she a%ready comp%imented you and you a%ready ga,e
a coc'y rep%y. It ne,er rea%%y happened( ut it sort o& did in the gir%-s mind.
#his opener is so dead%y that there are no contingencies needed. #he on%y way it doesn-t
wor' is i& the gir% =ust wa%'s o&&.
"ot a great S#$%&'R opener( I'd loe to hear it. ')ail it to )e. "ot a great S#$%&'R opener( I'd loe to hear it. ')ail it to )e.
*y e)ail address is bradp+bradp.co). *y e)ail address is bradp+bradp.co).
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HIGH FIVE OPENER (FOR GROUPS)
1a%' up to &irst gir% and say) *ou-re awesome( high &i,e.
#hen high &i,e her. 7oo' at second gir% and say)
*ou 'now what( you-re awesome too( high &i,e.
#hen when she goes to high &i,e you( you miss comp%ete%y and say)
9hhh: *ou &e%% &or the o%dest one in the oo'.
#his routine can e used to meet additiona% gir%s. I& you ta%' to the &irst
group o& gir%s &or a whi%e and you-re not into them( ha,e them get you in
with another group %i'e this)
*9U) NI sti%% can-t e%ie,e you &e%% &or my high &i,e =o'e: 4ow many gir%s in
here do you thin' wou%d &a%% &or that@N
0I37) N7ots o& gir%s wou%d.N
*9U) N4ow aout that gir%@N >"oint to your new target gir%.?
0I37) NI don-t 'now.N
*9U) N9G you go stand ne.t to her and I-%% high &i,e you &irst and we-%% see
i& she &a%%s &or it.N
8ow go run the routine on a second gir% or group o& gir%s. #a%' to the new
gir%>s? unti% the &irst gir% goes away. I& she stays too %ong( it-s =ust ma'es
you %oo' coo%er ecause it shows that you ha,e a %ot o& women interested
in you.
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LESBIAN DTR OPENER
!ac'ground) #he acronym ND#3N means NDe&ine #he 3e%ationship.N 4a,ing a D#3
discussionN re&ers to ha,ing a ta%' in which you de&ine your re%ationship using a traditiona%
dating %ae% such as Nseeing each other(N Ndating(N or Ngoing out.N In a D#3( it is o&ten the
woman who is pushing to e Nmade o&&icia%N as your gir%&riend( ut a D#3 can a%so e used y
a man to ecome a woman-s o&&icia% oy&riend. A D#3 discussion can o&ten e tedious and
tends to ta'e a%% o& the e.citement out o& a re%ationship( and this is why most men tend to
c%am up immediate%y when a woman con&ronts him with a D#3. #he tense( aw'ward nature
o& a D#3 creates an e.ce%%ent opportunity &or humor and socia% tension when used as su=ect
matter &or an opener.
;se this o&ener when you see a woman you are attracted to !ut she is with a
friend and they seem to !e en(rossed in a dee& con"ersation, #his can e a di&&icu%t
situation( ecause you might &ee% %i'e you don-t want to interrupt their important discussion.
Using the N7esian D#3 9pener(N you can use the issue o& interruption to your ad,antage and
create comedy( attraction( and ro%e p%aying.
*ou) N7adies( I wanted to ta%' to you( ut I can see that you-re in the
midd%e o& something ,ery..... intense( so i& this is a %esian D#3 discussion(
I won-t interrupt. Are you guys in the midd%e o& a %esian D#3 right now@N
CONTINGENCY 1
0ir%s) N1hat does D#3 stand &or@N
*ou) N*ou don-t 'now this@ I thought a%% gir%s 'new this. D#3 stands &or
-de&ine the re%ationship- and it-s asica%%y when one %esian says to the
other %esian -Are we going out( or are we seeing each other... ecause my
&riends ha,e een as'ing me( and my 5om wants to 'now( and I need to
'now i& you-re gonna e serious aout this...N
CONTINGENCY 2
0ir%s) N*eah( we-re %esians.N >start hugging and touching each other?
*ou) N*eah( I 'now. So which one o& you guys is running this D#3@ *ou
'now most %esians &igure this stu&& out on the Ist or 2nd date. 9h wait( is
this your 2nd date@
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It-s %i'e that o%d =o'e( what does a %esian ring on her 2nd date@
A U2hau%. N
#UALITY CONTROL OPENER
Strategy) Use this opener &or %arge groups or groups that seem to e particu%ar%y di&&icu%t to
rea' into.
*ou) N4i. I-m &rom Sar;restaurant;par'ing garageT 6ua%ity contro%.
I-d %i'e to 'now i& your e.perience with us has een A/+3A0+( !+###+3
#4A8 A/+3A0+( or C3A""I+3 #4A8 A/+3A0+@N
At this point( most gir%s wi%% p%ay a%ong and gi,e you a &unny %itt%e re,iew o& the p%ace. #his is
397+ "7A*I80. Using the phrase Ncrappier than a,erageN communicates to the women that
this is =ust a &un %itt%e game( and that you-re not rea%%y &rom the 6ua%ity contro% department.
CONTINGENCIES:
I. 0ir%s) NIt-s een crappier than a,erage.N
*ou) >9,erdramatic? N09D: I-m =ust trying to do my =o here( you guys
don-t ha,e to snap at me and hurt my &ee%ings %i'e that.N
2. 0ir%s) NCrappier.N
*ou) >6uiet%y? NI 'now. #his p%ace suc's right@ 7isten I-m here &rom centra%
and I-m aout to &ire e,eryone in this who%e p%ace. I might e a%e to o&&er
you a position. Qust gi,e me a run down o& your specia% ta%ents &irst.N
J. 0ir%s) N!etter than a,erage.N
*ou) NAre you =ust saying that cause you-re trying to get on my good side@
Aww( that-s so cute. 1e =ust met and you-re %i'e S999 into me a%ready....
>sudden%y get serious? 9G ac' o&& sta%'er.N
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TALKING SHIT OPENER
Strategy) Create &a'e drama through ro%e p%aying. #he strong emotions o&ten get trans%ated
into se.ua% attraction. #he opener comes out o& nowhere( and this intensi&ies the e&&ect.
*ou) >seeming rea%%y serious? NSo I heard you-,e een ta%'ing shit aout
me.N
0I37) N1hat@ 4uh@N
*9U) N*eah( you-,e een ta%'ing shit...why don-t you SA* I# #9 5*
<AC+@@@N >getting a%% &a'e angry?
CONTINGENCY #1
0I37) N*eah( that-s right. I-,e een ta%'in- shit.N
*9U) 14* D98-# *9U SA* I# #9 5* <AC+:::
0I37) N9h maye I wi%%.N
*9U) N*ou wanna ta'e this outside@N
0I37) NUm 8o.N
*9U) >to e,eryone around? N94: I DID8-# #4I8G S9 :: I DID8-# #4I8G
S9::N
CONTINGENCY #2
0ir%) N*eah( %et-s ta'e this outside.N
9nce in a whi%e you can =ust wa%' outside &rom there and you ha,e instant
iso%ation.
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SECRET SHOPPER OPENER
#his shou%d e used &or waitresses( store c%er's( or any woman who is at wor' and has no
time to ta%'. In this situation( you need to wor' ,ery 6uic'%y. Sometimes these women are not
a%%owed to gi,e out their numer to customers( or are eing oser,ed y their osses or co2
wor'ers. #he tone o& the entire interaction shou%d e secreti,e and mischie,ous. #his ma'es
it more e.citing and dramatic &or the woman.
YOU: (whispering intimately) "Hey let me tell you a secret, but
you have to promise not to tell anyone that works here. O
promise!... "#m the secret shopper."
$"%&: "%eally!"
YOU: "Yes, an' you are all un'er observation right now."
(t this point she#s either going to play along or she#s going to
leave an' get back to work. &et#s presume she#s playing along.
$"%&: ")ell how are we 'oing so *ar."
YOU: ('' situational *unny comment such as ")ell listen, our
waiter was missing a *ew teeth, so you#re losing points *or that. "
can tell you more later. " 'on#t want us getting caught talking
about this. " have a *ew comments *or you as well."
$"%&: "+o, tell me now."
YOU: ",heck it out " gotta get back to the table, but tell me your
number an' "#ll te-t you about the results a little later."
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CHAPTER 7 - NEUTRAL OPINION OPENERS ANALYZED
!ac'ground) #he neutra% opinion opener is a techni6ue created and re&ined y the Internet
Usenet newsgroup a%t.seduction.&ast >AS<? and it-s more ci,i%i$ed wesite <astSeduction.com.
#his techni6ue is ,ery e&&ecti,e( and has een around &or years. Somehow( it has managed to
stay out o& the grasp o& mainstream media despite it-s e&&ecti,eness. AS< and
<astSeduction.com ha,e &ue%ed an important men-s mo,ement 'nown as the NSeduction
Community.N
"remise) #he neutra% opinion opener is an e&&ecti,e way to get a con,ersation started. It is
e.ecuted y simp%y wa%'ing up to a woman and as'ing her to gi,e you her opinion on
something that women are interested in ta%'ing aout. #here are certain topics that women
%o,e to gi,e their opinion on such as)
ANYTHING DRA"ATIC:
1ou%d you e,er ta'e a paternity test on Springer@2#opics that pertain to socia% ,a%ue)
1ho-s the hotter Q. 7o or Qessica Simpson@24o%%ywood gossip)
Did you hear Qenni&er Aniston =ust got ass imp%ants@
RELATIONSHIP #UESTIONS:
1hy do you thin' men cheat@
GENDER EVALUATIONS:
1ho cheats more( men or women@
I& you use an opinion opener( there is a %ow ris' o& getting re=ected. 1omen =ust can-t resist
the opportunity to gi,e their opinion. 1omen %o,e to ma'e up ru%es and e,a%uations aout
what is right and wrong( or what is coo% and uncoo%. 4a,ing an opinion gi,es the woman
,a%idation( especia%%y i& someone is there to %isten to it( agree with it( or &ind ,a%ue in it. !y
gi,ing you their opinion( the woman &ee%s she is he%ping you as we%% as eing ,a%idated
herse%&.
Using neutra% opinion openers( you wi%% genera%%y accomp%ish J or A o& the main o=ecti,es)
I. !rea'ing the ice2 .ES
2. 0et the gir% ta%'ing2 .ES
J. !egin ui%ding or rea'ing rapport2 .ES ui%ding rapport in this case.
A. 0et the gir% %aughing2 #A.BE( i& the script is rea%%y &unny or you ha,e &unny de%i,ery.
D. !ui%d high socia% ,a%ue2 $O
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ADVANTAGES:
8eutra% opinion openers are ,ery easy to de%i,er( and you won-t get rude%y re=ected o&ten
when using them. I& you ha,e approach an.iety or need to ui%d genera% con,ersationa% s'i%%s(
these can e a great start.
LI"ITATIONS:
As a eginner( you wi%% o&ten &ind that this type o& opener is ,ery e&&ecti,e in getting the
con,ersation started( ut a&ter J minutes you don-t 'now what e%se to say and you end up
wa%'ing away empty handed. 9pinion openers o&ten resu%t in an empty( oring con,ersation.
#he neutra% opinion opener has een around &or years( ut remains one o& the most
misunderstood concepts in this genre o& se%&2he%p. It is important to rememer that the
neutra% opinion opener D9+S 89# !UI7D S9CIA7 /A7U+. #hat-s why it-s ca%%ed Nneutra%.N !y
design( this type o& opener is intended to ypass the entire issue o& socia% ,a%ue( to Nget you
in under the radar.N I& you choose to uti%i$e this type o& opener( 'eep in mind you wi%% need to
ui%d socia% ,a%ue in other ways a&ter de%i,ering the opener.
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OPRAH WINFREY OPENER
N9G( %et me as' you guys a 6uestion. It-s a rea%%y important 6uestion. Do
you thin' 9prah 1in&rey is hot@N
Contingency
NCause my &riend has this crush on 9prah( and something is =ust not right
aout the who%e thing. 4e-s 2D and she-s a chuy midd%e age woman. I-m
thin'ing maye he %i'es her &or her money. I mean she does ha,e a %ot o&
money. 1ou%d you s%eep with 9prah &or a mi%%ion do%%ars@ 4ow aout ten
thousand@ 1hat i& she =ust wanted to cudd%e@ 1ou%d you cudd%e 9prah &or
I0 grand@N
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"ONSTER TRUCK OPENER
N9G( %et me as' you guys a 6uestion. It-s a rea%%y important 6uestion.
5y &riend is sa,ing &or a monster truc' so he can pic' up gir%s. Do you thin'
it-s gonna wor'@ Do gir%s %i'e guys in monster truc's@N
Contingency
N1hat i& there were &%ames on the sides@ #hen wou%d you e into the
monster truc'@ Ginda gay right@ 1hy are tough guys a%ways painting
&%ames on their car and getting &%ame tattoos@ #he satin &%amey utton
down shirt has to e the worst. I hope you guys ha,e ne,er hoo'ed up
with a guy in a &%amey satin shirt:N
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DISNEY "USIC OPENER
N9G( %et me as' you guys a 6uestion. It-s a rea%%y important 6uestion.
1ou%d you date a guy who %istens to Disney music@N
Contingency
N5y sister went on a date with this guy and she rea%%y %i'ed him ut then
he put on Disney music in the car. She tota%%y stopped %i'ing him a&ter that.
I-d go &or a gir% who %istens to N#he Qung%e !oo'N.....ut I thin' I-d draw the
%ine at that N1innie the "oohN stu&&. #hat-s a it much. 1here wou%d you
draw the %ine@ 4ow aout i& it was *anni ,ersions( and you cou%d are%y te%%
it was Disney music@ 9r maye i& Da,id !owie was singing it@N
Instead of using an opinion ,uestion as an opener, why Instead of using an opinion ,uestion as an opener, why
not sae it for later( -se fe)ale opinion ,uestions not sae it for later( -se fe)ale opinion ,uestions
wheneer you are running out of things to talk about. wheneer you are running out of things to talk about.
*ake the opinion ,uestion a part of your conersational *ake the opinion ,uestion a part of your conersational
repertoire. repertoire.
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CHAPTER - HIGH !ALUE OPENERS
A high ,a%ue opener is an opener which %atant%y disp%ays high socia% ,a%ue &rom the
eginning through direct statements or humor. I& you %i'e to e direct( 4igh /a%ue 9peners
may e &or you.
Ad,antages) 4igh /a%ue 9peners are the est way to open i& you intend to get se.ua% with
the woman 6uic'%y. #hese types o& openers con,ey many Na%pha ma%eN 6ua%ities such as)
Immunity to socia% pressure
Con&idence
4umor
Strong sense o& se%&
4igh /a%ue 9peners tend to resu%t in a higher rate o& immediate re=ection than 9pinion
9peners or Shoc'ers. 1omen wi%% immediate%y ma'e a =udgment on whether or not you ha,e
the right to e so direct( and sometimes the answer is no. #his may seem %i'e a ad thing(
ut &or someone ad,anced( it is actua%%y an ad,antage. It-s etter to get re=ected in the &irst D
seconds and mo,e on than to waste ID minutes to &ind out the gir% is not attracted to you(
she =ust wanted to gi,e her opinion and chit chat.
7imitations) 4igh /a%ue 9peners are di&&icu%t to de%i,er. *ou must ha,e e.ce%%ent ody
%anguage( sty%e( and de%i,ery or the woman wi%% sense an incongruence etween your identity
and your con,ersation.
<or men who are ,ery good %oo'ing( 4igh /a%ue 9peners may resu%t in you eing
No,er6ua%i&ied.N 1omen want men with socia% ,a%ue e6ua% to or a it higher than their own. I&
your socia% ,a%ue is too high( the woman wi%% &ee% uncom&orta%e around you.
4ere-s a great way to understand the concept o& eing N9,er6ua%i&ied.N #hin' aout how you
wou%d &ee% i& a ce%erity wa%'ed into the room right now. *ou-d e a it uncom&orta%e around
him or her. *ou-d e a&raid that person wou%d e N=udging youN or Nacting stuc' up.N #hat-s
how a woman &ee%s around a man who has socia% ,a%ue that is too high. It-s =ust an
uncom&orta%e situation.
If you sense that a wo)an finds you to be .oer,ualified,. If you sense that a wo)an finds you to be .oer,ualified,.
that's easy to fix. /ust gie her a few sincere co)pli)ents that's easy to fix. /ust gie her a few sincere co)pli)ents
and she'll be )ore co)fortable. and she'll be )ore co)fortable.
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ONLY GIRL OPENER
N4ere-s the dea%( I-,e een %oo'ing around this p%ace( and I-,e come to the
conc%usion that you are the on%y gir% here who-s cute enough &or me to
e,en ta%' to. So great( now we-re ta%'ing.N
LAST WEEK'S LAY
NI thin' I 'now you. Did we ha,e se. %ast wee'@ *+S: It-s you: 9h my 0od:
So good to see you again:N
Contingencies
N4ey sorry I ha,en-t ca%%ed( een rea%%y usy.N
N#e%% your &riend I said hi and she was great too.N
N8o@ 1asn-t you@ 4mm( you %oo' =ust this gir% I had se. with.....actua%%y ya
'now( I can are%y rememer what she %oo's %i'e at the moment....I was
'inda drun'.... 8o( I-m pretty sure it was you.N
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HEATHER HARRISON (RAPID DELIVERY)
#o 0ir% ) N4i.N
#o your &riends( her &riends( or ystanders) N4ey guys( chec' it out. #his is
4eather 4arrison. >"ut your arm around her?. 5e and her went to 4igh
Schoo% together and I %ost my ,irginity to her at the each when I was ID.
*eah( she-s so coo%. I got way too drun' %ater that night and I pu'ed a%%
o,er her toes. She has rea%%y nice toes. 1e%% anyway( she-s a great gir%( she
too' me home and put me to ed. #hen I ended up ha,ing se. with her
&riend a &ew days %ater( it was 'inda &uc'ed up.N
#o gir%) N4eather( I-m sorry aout that. Can we sti%% e &riends@N
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CHAPTER " - LOW !ALUE OPENERS
FOR DORKS AND PLAYERS
FOR DORKS:
Are you a guy who has a%most no socia% s'i%%@ 8o con&idence in ta%'ing to women@ Socia%
phoias@ *ou are not a%one. 5ost oo's on meeting women do not address the specia%
concerns o& this group o& men. As an e.2dor' myse%&( I can appreciate your situation and I
ha,e ad,ice that wi%% he%p you.
#he main goa% o& de%i,ering openers &or you wi%% e to &ace your &ears and ui%d your com&ort
%e,e%. I& you can e com&orta%e ta%'ing to women you don-t 'now( that-s a ig step in the
right direction. 4owe,er( con,ersationa% com&ort is not a magic spe%% that wi%% ma'e women
get a%% horny &or you right away. *ou ha,e to go through a process o& ui%ding your identity(
s%ow%y increasing your com&ort %e,e%( and genera%%y %earning aout women e&ore you wi%%
ha,e any rea% success.
<or now %oo' at it this way) *ou-re going to de%i,er these openers and see i& you can maintain
J2D minutes o& interesting con,ersation with a woman. I& you can do that you wi%% egin to
gain con&idence and com&ort.
Don-t %ose sight o& the ig picture: #here is wor' to e done on de,e%oping your identity and
socia% s'i%%s. 4ere-s a 6uic' %ist o& suggestions( things that wi%% he%p you ui%d your identity in
the right direction.
I. 3ead the oo' N8o 5ore 5ister 8ice 0uyN y 3oert A. 0%o,er.
2. 0et some coo% hoies. #he sorts o& things women &ind se.y.
J. 0et therapy. Chances are you ha,e a %ow sense o& se%& worth &rom so many years o&
pro%ems.
A. +.periment with your appearance. #ry a %oo' that wi%% get you stereotyped as a Nse.y
guyN %i'e i'er( rapper( roc'er( artist( %atin %o,er( etc. Don-t try to %oo' a,erage or %end
in so much:
D. #reat your ody we%%. 1or' out( eat right( get s%eep( don-t into.icate yourse%&.
C. 0et some coo%er &riends. *ou-re now on the =ourney to ecoming a etter person. Don-t
e surprised when your o%d dor'y &riends start comp%aining that Nyou-,e changed.N
*ou-re supposed to change and grow in %i&e. *ou don-t owe it to anyone to stay the
same &ore,er.
B. #a'e acting %essons. It-s &un( it teaches you great ,oice tone( and it he%ps you get o,er
socia% phoias.
#he good news is that eing good with women is a s'i%% anyone can %earn. 5any o& the wor%ds
greatest %ady 'i%%ers started o&& as tota% dor's. I& you wor' hard and choose the proper ro%e
mode%s( you can increase your success with women dramatica%%y.
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FOR PLAYERS:
Are you the 'ind o& guy that-s so smooth with women that they get scared o& you or as' you
i& you-re a p%ayer in the &irst D minutes@ *ou can use 7ow /a%ue 9peners to reduce your socia%
,a%ue when necessary. *ou can a%so use a 7ow /a%ue 9pener to create an ironic( comica%
e&&ect. #he gir% wi%% rea%i$e a&ter a &ew seconds that you-re eing p%ay&u%. #e%%ing No,ious %iesN
is a great comedic de,ice.
PSYCHOLOGIST OPENER
N4i( my name is UUUUUUU and I-m shy. 5y psycho%ogist to%d me that I
shou%d go out e,ery day and ta%' to D new peop%e. I decided to ta%' to you
ecause you seem nice.N
C98#I0+8C*)
0ir%) NAwww( that-s so nice. 4ow many ha,e you ta%'ed to so &ar@N
*ou) Nummm...2L.N >proud smi%e?.
KISS OPENER
0et a ag o& 4ershey-s 'isses. 1a%' up to a gir% and %oo' right at her. Don-t
way a word. Qust ta'e a 4ershey-s 'iss out o& the ag and hand it to her.
"%ayers) "oint to chee'. 0ir% wi%% 'iss you on the chee'.
Dor's)N*eah( I go around gi,ing gir%s 'isses a%% day.N
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THU"B WRESTLING OPENER
1a%' up to a gir% and put your hand out %i'e you-re going to sha'e her hand. 1hen she puts
out her hand( start thum wresting her. Don-t say a word. A&ter you eat her( gi,e the %itt%e
Nso2soN hand gesture.
Contingencies)
I. She thin's your dea&;mute.
Qust smi%e and say( no I-m not dea&. I =ust wanted to see i& you cou%d thum wrest%e e&ore I
ta%'ed to you.
2. She doesn-t get the idea. She rea%%y thin's you want to sha'e hands. In this case( =ust gra
her hand and put it into the thum wrest%ing position. Don-t ta%'.
J. She doesn-t want to thum wrest%e( has no time( etc.
N4ey( I 'now you-re in a hurry( ut I-m gonna e on +S"8L -#he 9cho- tomorrow in the thum
wrest%ing championship and I rea%%y need to practice. I wasn-t gonna te%% you this( ut I used
to e on the 9%ympic #hum 1rest%ing #eam. It-s...'ind o& a ig dea%N
0o you hae proble)s with your oice tone( 1ou can do 0o you hae proble)s with your oice tone( 1ou can do
openers that re,uire little or no speaking until your oice openers that re,uire little or no speaking until your oice
i)proes. Try the thu)b wrestling and kiss openers out. i)proes. Try the thu)b wrestling and kiss openers out.
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CHAPTER 1# - SITUATIONAL OPENERS
A Situationa% 9pener is when you ma'e remar's or oser,ations aout your surroundings in
order to rea' the ice and ui%d common ground. #he est way to de%i,er this type o& opener
is to wa%' up and QUS# S#A3# #A7GI80. I& the woman is seated( =ust pu%% up a chair and start
ta%'ing.
Do not introduce yourse%&. Do not say hi. I& you do( you-re setting o&& an entire chain reaction
o& eha,iors in the woman. I ca%% this the N1ho the he%% are youN reaction.
1hi%e you-re usy saying N4i my name is 7arry( and I =ust noticed you guys here and I wanted
to te%% you aout something...N the women are thin'ing N1ho the he%% are you@ 1hy are you
ta%'ing to us@N #hen they wi%% egin to si$e you up( trying to &igure out i& you are coo% enough
to e interacting with.
8ow you might ha,e a pro%em. #he women ha,e started to screen you( 6ua%i&y you( as' you
6uestions( test you( chec' out your appearance. #hey-re %oo'ing &or A8* SI08 that you might
e a %oser. #hey-re concerned that your presence may detract &rom their socia% ,a%ue. 1omen
are /+3* C98C+38+D aout their percei,ed socia% ,a%ue. #hey put a great dea% o& wor' into
ui%ding socia% ,a%ue. #hey don-t want to e seen with anyone who might %ower it and ruin
their hard wor'.
!y s'ipping the introduction( you s'ip o,er the entire process o& ha,ing women 6ua%i&y you.
#his is ca%%ed NASSU5I80 3A""93#.N !y assuming rapport( you disp%ay high ,a%ue. *ou are
communicating to the women that there is no possii%ity o& you eing a %oser. *ou o,ious%y
must e coo% enough to ta%' to. It-s not e,en something that cou%d e 6uestioned.
I-%% say it again. S'ip the introduction. Don-t say hi. Don-t say N5y name is...N QUS# S#A3# #4+
9"+8+3. Start as i& you-re a%ready in the midd%e o& a con,ersation. Instead o& 6uestioning
your ,a%ue( the women wi%% e thin'ing aout what you-re saying.
I can-t gi,e you tons and tons o& Situationa% 9peners here( ecause the who%e point is that
you shou%d e ma'ing them up in response to your surroundings( ut here are a &ew
strategies to he%p you generate situationa% openers. A%% o& these e.amp%es are openers that
I-,e generated and used in rea% situations.
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SHARED ENTHUSIAS"
*ou can 6uic'%y create common ground and e.citement y commenting on something in your
surroundings and eing e.cited aout it.
+.amp%e)
I lo"e this song: Do you %o,e this song@ #e%% me you don-t %o,e this song:
#he women wi%% a%most a%ways agree. *ou can 6uic'%y ad,ance the interaction y ha,ing a
sing a%ong or dancing with them.
#his is a ,ery easy opener and it wor's a%most e,ery time. *ou can customi$e it &or any
situation. In a restaurant you can say I lo"e &ried dump%ings. *ou guys are eating my
&a,orite &ood. 4ow did you 'now.... In 1a%25art you can say I lo"e 5artha Stuart-s c%othing
%ine.... *ou get the idea.
RIDDLE STYLE
A Situationa% 9pener can o&ten ta'e the &orm o& a ridd%e. Kui$ the women on something that-s
going on around you. #hen y trying to answer the ridd%e and ,a%idate themse%,es( they are
see'ing your appro,a% as we%%.
INTERNET DATE (RIDDLE STYLE)
N9G so I wa%' up to the ar =ust now and I see this guy wa%' up to a gir%
and they introduce themse%,es to each other. #hen they start ta%'ing aout
wor' and stu&& %i'e they 'now each other a%ready. Isn-t that weird. 1hy
wou%d they e doing introductions i& they a%ready 'now each other@ 4e
'nows where she wor's( she 'nows where he wor's( ut they-re tota%%y
sti&& %i'e they =ust met. 1hat do you thin' that means@N
A8S1+3) #hey-re on an internet date.
CO""ON THE"ES
Situationa% 9peners can a%so ta'e the &orm o& something e,eryone has in common( %i'e
watching #/. #he 'ey is to wa%' up and start ta%'ing aout this %i'e it-s =ust occurring to you(
%i'e you-re =ust thin'ing out %oud. Again( don-t introduce yourse%& or say hi( =ust start in the
midd%e.
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CARSON DAILY OPENER (CO""ON THE"E)
N1hat.....the he%%.... is up with Carson Da%y@ #hat guy-s =ust not &unny. 4ow
did he get his own show@ I watched the who%e thing =ust to gi,e it a chance
and I didn-t %augh once. It was pain&u% to watch. #hey must pay the
audience to show up and %augh. #hey ne,er show the audience either(
there-s proa%y on%y I0 peop%e there. And what-s up with his &orehead@ It-s
huge. *ou cou%d show a mo,ie on that guy-s &orehead....N
CUSTO"I!ED TO THE GROUP
*ou can create an opener that ma'es re&erence to your target group. I usua%%y do this y
as'ing i& they are some &amous singing group.
>#o J %ac' gir%s? N9h 5y 0od:: Are you Destiny-s Chi%d@N
>#o A white gir%s? N9h 5y 0od:: Are you guys the Spice 0ir%s@N
>#o a group with guys and gir%s? N9h 5y 0od: Are you the !%ac' +yed "eas@N
Ad"anta(es@ Situationa% 9peners wi%% ne,er sound NscriptedN or e.pose an incongruence.
#hey wi%% usua%%y get the gir% to ta%' to you. Situationa% openers are a%so great &or opening
groups o& gir%s or groups that contain men and women. I& you are an e.ceptiona%%y creati,e
person( Situationa% 9peners can wor' e,en etter than scripted openers.
Limitations@ #hese openers are di&&icu%t to create on the &%y( especia%%y i& you-re ner,ous.
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Instant Attraction
CHAPTER 11 - COLD READS
A Co%d 3ead is when you wa%' up to a woman and start te%%ing her a%% 'inds o& insight&u%
things aout herse%&. It-s a%most %i'e a psychic reading. 5ost peop%e %o,e to e ana%y$ed in an
insight&u% way( so women wi%% usua%%y en=oy a Co%d 3eading. I& your Co%d 3ead is particu%ar%y
insight&u%( the woman wi%% thin' you ha,e ama$ing powers o& oser,ation and great psychic
energy. 3ead a woman accurate%y and you ui%d high socia% ,a%ue immediate%y.
4ow to &ormu%ate)
Co%d 3eads are not easy to create. 4ere-s a &ew tips)
I. 7oo' &or c%ues aout her persona%ity in her c%othing and ody %anguage.
2. 7earn a%% sorts o& secret in&o aout women y reading up( then use this in the co%d reading.
#his type o& in&o is ca%%ed a N<ema%e truism.N <ema%e truisms are %itt%e 'nown &acts that app%y
to a%most a%% women. *ou can present something as a &ema%e truism e,en i& it is a wide%y
'nown &act( =ust phrase it in a more mystica% way. *ou can a%so use something that a%% women
'now( ut no one wi%% e,er ta%' aout. <or e.amp%eH most attracti,e women go on a %ot o&
dates ut %ose interest 6uic'%y.
J. 0i,e in&o that contains a sut%e comp%iment.
8ote) I said SU!#7+: Do not use %atant or o,ious comp%iments %i'e N*ou-re ,ery pretty.N It is
tota%%y oring and ruins any chance you ha,e o& ui%ding socia% ,a%ue. 4ere-s an e.amp%e o& a
sut%e comp%iment) N*ou-re the 'ind o& person who 'nows what she wants( you =ust don-t
a%ways 'now how to get it.N
Sut%e comp%iments are a techni6ue o&ten used y psychics to con,ince customer that they
can read the &uture. #hey-%% say NSomeday you-re going to ,ery rich. I can see it in my mind.N
1ho wou%dn-t want to e%ie,e in a psychic who to%d them they-d e ,ery rich@ "sychics te%%
peop%e what they want to hear. #hen the customers 1A8# to e%ie,e. 7earn to use this
techni6ue yourse%& and your co%d reads wi%% e 'ic'2ass:
5ost peop%e choose to e%ie,e in&ormation that matches up we%% with what they a%ready 'now
aout themse%,es and re=ect in&ormation that con&%icts with their se%& image. #hat-s human
nature. During a Co%d 3ead( you te%% the woman things she wants to hear( insight&u% things(
and &ema%e truisms. 7earn to phrase those ingredients in a coo%( mystica%( 'nowing &ashion(
and you-%% e a%e to de%i,er some great Co%d 3eads.
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SERIAL DATER (FE"ALE TRUIS")
NI can te%% =ust y the way you-re standing there that you are the 'ind o& gir%
who goes on a %ot o& dates ut has trou%e &inding someone you actua%%y
are interested in. +,ery time you thin' you-,e &ound that person( you
usua%%y %ose interest ,ery 6uic'%y and sometimes you don-t e,en 'now why.
Is that right@N
YOU'RE GONNA BE RICH (FUN TO BELIEVE IN)
NI-m getting this ,ie &rom you that you-re the 'ind o& person who isn-t
materia%istic. *ou don-t care too much aout money( ut you a%ways end up
ha,ing enough to get y. 5oney =ust &inds you. Someday you-re going to e
,ery rich comp%ete%y y accident. I-m a %itt%e it psychic sometimes( and I
can see it.N
SUDDEN FASHION EVALUATION
>teasing with rapid de%i,ery and mu%tip%e pop cu%ture re&erences?
9G %et-s see what we ha,e here. >Stop( %oo' the gir% up and down.? 9G
you-,e got the 8ine 1est shoes &rom %ast spring( those are cute( ut the
s'irt is screaming new2wa,e2amish. *our hair is got that 6uasi emo thing(
it-s %i'e ha%&way etween #he 5ars /o%ta and Death Ca &or Cutie. #ota%%y
hot. 8ow the shirt is that who%e 5adonna thing) "ost 7i'e a /irgin( ut pre
7i'e A "rayer. Are you with me here@ Do you 'now that era o& 5adonna-s
shirts@N
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CHAPTER 12 - HOW TO USE THIS INFORMATION
4ere-s an easy chart to he%p you choose what wi%% wor' est &or you.
2009 Underground Dating Seminar Corporation
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8ow that you 'now a%% the est opening %ines( it-s time &or you to try a &ew out( see what
wor's est &or you( and choose 2 or J that you-%% use a%% the time. #here-s no need to
memori$e 20 opening %ines( it-s etter to ha,e 2 or J Nde&au%t openersN that you are ,ery
com&orta%e with. 1hen you see a woman you want to approach( there-s no time to sort
through 20 openers to &ind that Nper&ect one.N Qust go with something you-re com&orta%e
with( your de&au%t opener. Don-t e that weird guy who sits there and stares &or I0 minutes
trying to thin' o& something to say. I& you see a gir% you want to ta%' to( go do it immediate%y.
I rea%%y want you to rememer these important princip%es( e,en when you-re out in pu%ic and
you-re &ee%ing ner,ous( so I-m going to ma'e a &ew ru%es.
RULE #1: PREPARE 2 OPENERS BEFORE GOING OUT$
5ore than 2 openers is too much to rememer. 5a'e it easy. Qust use 2.
I-,e taught a great many men how to approach women( and I-,e noticed a tendency to o,er
thin' your opening %ine. Usua%%y N&inding the per&ect openerN is =ust an e.cuse to a,oid the
approach ecause you-re scared. Don-t e an e.cuser: 0et your de&au%t openers &igured out in
ad,ance: #hen when the time comes( =ump right in:
RULE #2: GO IN RIGHT AWAY$
Don-t sit and stare. Don-t wait around. Don-t thin' too hard.
RULE #3: TRY EACH OPENER AT LEAST % TI"ES BEFORE DISCARDING IT$
*ou wi%% e impro,ing your de%i,ery with e,ery approach. Don-t panic i& the &irst approach
doesn-t wor' out. #he success o& your opener has e,erything to with de%i,ery. I& it doesn-t
wor' the &irst try( don-t worry. *ou =ust ha,e to get your de%i,ery down and things wi%% wor'
out &ine. A&ter I0 or 20 attempts( you-%% &ind that your de%i,ery wi%% impro,e 6uite a %ot.
#he in&ormation presented here is intended to stimu%ate your creati,ity and gi,e you a
&ramewor' &or creating openers and a repertoire o& con,ersation.
+.perimenting with these openers and other types o& scripted routines wi%% he%p you
interna%i$e the attitudes that are attracti,e to women. 9nce you you ha,e interna%i$ed these
attitudes( you might choose to %ea,e the scripts ehind. 9r you may choose to create your
own scripted materia%. #his is a step in the right direction( as you wi%% e more com&orta%e
with things &rom your own e.perience.
8ow wou%d e a good time to stop reading and go try some o& these openers out. *ou can
come read the rest o& the oo' %ater. Doing a &ew approaches wi%% gi,e you a%%ow you to
process the remaining in&ormation in a more meaning&u% way.
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CHAPTER 13 - DEALING WITH AD!ERSITY
A&ter you-,e done a &ew approaches( you-%% start to notice that things don-t a%ways go as
p%anned. Sometimes you-%% e dea%t a strange hand and you ha,e to ma'e 6uic' decisions on
what to do. Sometimes it-s good to change strategies. 9ther times it-s etter to =ust p%ow
through ad,ersity without %etting it get to you.
#here is a tendency &or eginners to get too wrapped up in thin'ing aout worst case
scenarios. #he &ear o& approaching mani&ests itse%& in many sut%e ways. !eginners o&ten
engage in creati,e a,oidance. #his is when your rain wi%% ta'e any sma%% ostac%e and %ow
it out o& proportion in order to pre,ent you &rom approaching. Creati,e a,oidance is an
ama$ing phenomenon. It ta'es away your ai%ity to thin' rationa%%y.
I-m going to wa%' you through a &ew situations that students o&ten as' me aout and try to
dispe% the irrationa% thin'ing that might e resu%ting &rom creati,e a,oidance.
PERCEIVED PROBLE": SHE'S WITH A GUY$
#yth@ #hey must e dating.
Reality@ It-s aout a D0;D0 chance. *ou can easi%y &ind out whether they-re dating. I& they-re
not( you stand a etter chance o& creating attraction y approaching her in &ront o& the other
guy than i& you approached her a%one.
I 'now this proa%y seems %i'e a dea% rea'er to you right now. <or a eginner( approaching
a woman who-s with another man seems %i'e a terri%e idea. It-s actua%%y not as ig o& a dea%
as you might thin'. Don-t automatica%%y assume that she-s with her oy&riend. 1omen go out
a%% the time with p%atonic ma%e &riends( cowor'ers( or &ami%y memers. I-m going to %et you in
on a &ew seduction secrets so you can ma'e these situations wor' &or you. #hese are secrets
that a%% women 'now( yet 99E o& men are in the dar' aout.
Seduction Secret A/@ 1omen %i'e to e approached in &ront o& a ma%e companion. It
resu%ts in a high sta'es( dramatic situation. #his actua%%y increases the chances o& her getting
attracted to you. 1omen consider it an act o& e.traordinary ra,ery i& you are a%e to
approach her with another man there. +,en i& it does turn out to e her oy&riend( she wi%%
o&ten ecome uncontro%%a%y attracted to you ecause o& the sheer courage it too' to do the
approach. 1omen respect men who are o%d and courageous. Despite the &act that she has a
socia% o%igation to the other man( she wi%% o&ten ecome attracted to you. 1omen are
&re6uent%y una%e to contro% who they are attracted to.
Seduction Secret A1@ 1omen go out a%% the time with guys they are not interested in. #hey
use these %oser guys &or &ree dates( attention( socia% networ'ing( entertainment( or to a,oid
going out a%one. #hese guys are ca%%ed oriters. An oriter-s primary dating strategy is to
get into a &riend re%ationship with a woman( and then esca%ate it into a romantic re%ationship
%ater. #his is a ,ery ine&&ecti,e dating strategy and most women ha,e %itt%e respect &or guys
who try to e&riend and date.
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Attracti,e women 'eep co%%ections o& oriters. I& you are %uc'y enough to approach a woman
who is out with an oriter( you-,e hit the =ac'pot. Compared to him( you %oo' %i'e a tota% stud
i& you can do a ha%&way decent approach.
Any time you approach a woman who is out with another guy there are a numer o&
possii%ities)
I. It-s her oy&riend;husand.
2. It-s an oriter.
J. It-s a p%atonic &riend.
A. It-s her gay &riend.
D. It-s a &ami%y memer.
#he &irst thing you need to do is determine which situation you-re dea%ing with. 4ere-s a &ew
strategies to get things started.
I. +ngage the guy in sma%% ta%' or guy ta%'. A&ter a minute or two( as' 4ow do you two 'now
each other. #his is considered a ,ery norma% 6uestion( so don-t e a&raid to as'.
1arning) !e sure that the guy is %istening and paying attention when you as' this. I& the
woman is attracted to you( she wi%% o&ten %ie aout whether she-s with her oy&riend. #his has
happened to me many times.
2. 0o direct%y in and approach the gir% as you norma%%y wou%d. Due to the o%dness o& your
approach( many times the other guy wi%% =ust stand there and do nothing. 5ost men ha,e
een trained to e socia%%y passi,e and con&%ict a,erse. I& he-s the acti,e type( get him
in,o%,ed in the opener. <or e.amp%e( i& you are doing the 9prah 1in&rey opener( as' him &or
his opinion on whether 9prah is hot. #hen &ind out how they 'now each other.
I& she-s with her oy&riend( one o& them wi%% te%% you. Don-t &rea' out. #a'e your time. Qust say
9h that-s rea%%y coo%. #hen wrap up the con,ersation and mo,e on. 9r maye stic' around a
&ew minutes and see i& they ha,e more women in their socia% group.
#here is a tendency to thin' that e,ery time you see a man and woman out together( they
are dating. #his is not rea%istic. #his is an inaccurate assumption many times. Stop assuming
and &ind out the rea% truth. 8e.t time you &ind yourse%& assuming that a woman is dating the
guy she-s with( as' yourse%& Is this creati,e a,oidance@ Creati,e a,oidance is a ad hait
and most peop%e do it a%% the time. I& you can identi&y creati,e a,oidance when it happens(
you stand a etter chance o& o,ercoming your &ear o& approaching.
0o in and &ind out what the rea%ity o& the situation is. *ou-,e spent a %ot o& time reading and
%earning aout approaching women. *ou owe it to yourse%& to dea% with rea%ity( not inaccurate
&antasies inspired y &ear.
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PERCEIVED PROBLE": WHAT IF SHE SAYS &OH IS THAT A PICKUP LINE' I'VE HEARD
THIS ONE BEFORE$(
#yth@ 1omen hate pic'up %ines and they 'eep a master dataase o& them so they can catch
you in the act. +,ery month there-s a news%etter women can read where they e.pose a%% o&
our pic'up %ines.
Reality@ 1omen %i'e it when you approach them. #hey pay no attention at a%% to oo's %i'e
the one you-re reading right now.
#he chances o& this happening are e.treme%y s%im. +,en though it-s a IE chance( many
students sti%% consider it a &rightening possii%ity. Don-t %et it throw you. #his can e the
eginning o& a &un interaction i& you p%ay it right. 4ere-s a &ew easy comeac's)
*es( it-s a pic'up %ine. 8ow you e the gir% and I-%% e the guy. 7et-s start again. >repeat
opener or use a di&&erent opener?
9h( you-,e heard it@ 9' how aout this one@ >start another opener?
1ow you caught me. *ou must e an e.pert on pic'ing up guys to ha,e 'nown that one. 9r
do you usua%%y pic' up gir%s@
Another thing you can do is minimi$e the accusation and =ust start another opener without
rea'ing stride. A &ew wee's ago I was teaching a wor'shop and I ran into a situation %i'e
this. Sometimes I %et the students pic' out a gir% &or me to approach and choose what opener
&rom this oo' they-d %i'e to see me use. 5y student chose a woman who had a%ready een
approached with the Disney opener. Sure enough( I went in with the Disney opener and she
said I =ust heard this D minutes ago. I said Aha( was it the guy in the trench coat@ #hat-s
our &riend. 1e-,e een ta%'ing aout this... 4ey do you 'now who 9prah 1in&rey is@ Do you
thin' she-s hot@ I had her numer in under D minutes.
PERCEIVED PROBLE": HER BOYFRIEND WALKS IN IN THE "IDDLE OF US TALKING$
#yth@ #he guy is going to 'ic' my ass.
Reality@ I& you don-t o,erreact to this( it-s not a pro%em at a%%.
#his is not the end o& the wor%d. Don-t panic. 0et his input on whate,er the two o& you were
ta%'ing aout. 0et him in,o%,ed in the con,ersation. Determine what their re%ationship is.
#hen respond according%y.
#his e.act scenario happened tome two nights ago in 7as /egas. I approached a woman
using Did we s%eep together %ast wee'@ She %o,ed the opener. She p%ayed a%ong and then
to%d me it was the most origina% approach she-s e,er seen. J0 seconds %ater( in wa%'s her
oy&riend. I said to him Chec' this out man( I-m going to show you the greatest pic'up %ine
'nown to man.... 4is gir%&riend %aughed and said 9h you gotta hear this one. #he oy&riend
wasn-t angry at a%%( he thought it was a &un con,ersation and %ater in the night the coup%e
he%ped me meet a &ew other women.
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PERCEIVED PROBLE": WHAT IF I GET IN A FIGHT WHILE DOING APPROACHES'
#yth@ #his happens a%% the time.
Reality@ #his a%most ne,er happens.
It is high%y unusua% &or &ighting or ,io%ence to resu%t &rom approaching women. I-,e
approached thousands o& women and I ha,en-t een in one sing%e &ight as a resu%t. I-,e had a
&ew guys get %oud with me( ut this on%y happens when me and the gir% ha,e our hands a%%
o,er each other. As %ong as you-re =ust ta%'ing( you ha,e nothing to worry aout. I don-t want
you dwe%%ing on this too much since it-s a minuscu%e possii%ity( ut I-%% gi,e a &ew thoughts on
the topic =ust in case.
#o &ight or not to &ight is something you must decide &or yourse%&. <or me( it-s etter to ta%'
my way out o& it so I can continue meeting hot women and ha,ing a great time.
I& you rea%%y want to %earn aout &ighting( %earn &rom an e.pert on &ighting( not an e.pert on
dating.
4ere-s some steps you can ta'e to a,oid &ighting when threatened. #he goa% is to a,oid the
&ight and come out %oo'ing e,en coo%er than e&ore.
Don-t ac' down in your ody %anguage( stand ta%%.
Use ca%m( de&using %anguage %i'e)
N4ey man we don-t ha,e to do this( I ha,e %i'e C guys with me(N
N1e were =ust chit chatting( it-s no ig dea%(N or
NI can see why you-re mad( ut noody to%d me that was your gir%&riend.N
8one o& this is direct%y con&rontationa% or disrespect&u%( ut it does indicate you are
ta'ing charge and are o& higher ,a%ue than him.
Don-t say ca%m down. #hat-s a%ways the worst thing you can say to an angry person.
It-s condescending and ma'es the person e,en more irate.
I& he-s ta%'ing and ye%%ing( it usua%%y means he doesn-t want to &ight( he =ust wants to
e.press anger or get in a shouting match. Qust %et him ye%%. Do not sho,e( do not
esca%ate physica%%y. Do not touch him. 5ost times he wi%% not touch you e,en i& he-s
ye%%ing in your &ace. #hat-s how you 'now it-s proa%y not going to e a &ight.
I& it-s going to e a rea% &ight( peop%e usua%%y =ust start swinging and there is no
warning at a%%. #his is the worst case scenario.
3ememer( i& you physica%%y shrin' away &rom the guy with your ody %anguage( you
increase the chance o& him swinging at you. 4e-%% &ee% %i'e he-s =ust gonna hand you an
ass whooping and it-s gonna e &un. I& you don-t &%inch he-%% thin' he might %ose the
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&ight. #his is why your ody %anguage shou%d not e ac'ing down( ut your 193DS
shou%d e de&using the situation. *ou on%y ha,e to stand ta%% and stay ca%m &or a &ew
seconds and then some third party wi%% usua%%y =ump in and pu%% the guy away. At that
point you gain coo%ness points &or not &ighting( yet not ac'ing down either. I did this a
&ew months ac' and when it was o,er a super tough 8a,y Sea% to%d me he rea%%y
admired how I hand%ed the situation. 1hen you ta%' your way out o& a &ight this way(
you %oo' e,en tougher than the guy who threatened you. "eop%e wi%% specu%ate that
you cou%d ha,e 'i%%ed the guy( ut you =ust didn-t rea%%y care enough to other with
him.
#he women wi%% ne,er ac' you up( e,en i& they %i'e you more. #hey are spectators to
the entire situation.
I& anyone is con&rontationa% toward the gir%s you are with( immediate%y =ump in &ront o&
your gir%s. 0et etween them and the threat. 1omen thin' this is 49####:
PERCEIVED PROBLE": SHE'S WITH A GROUP$
#yth@ *ou can-t approach women in groups.
Reality@ *ou can approach anyone you want( anytime you want.
#his is another source o& creati,e a,oidance. 5ost o& the openers in this oo' wor' etter on
groups than they do on a woman y herse%&. Qust e sure you-re a%%owing the entire group to
ta'e part in the discussion. <or e.amp%e( i& you-re doing the 4orse 0ir% Shoc'er( e sure you
ma'e %itt%e side comments to other peop%e in the group. As %ong as the who%e group is
interested in what you-re saying( you ha,e nothing to worry aout.
I& you ha,e we%% de,e%oped presence and ody %anguage( sometimes the group wi%% ecome
so interested in your opener that they ecome a%most %i'e an audience. "ut on a
per&ormance. 5a'e it entertaining. 8o one can raise o=ections i& the group is genuine%y
entertained y your story.
PERCEIVED PROBLE": I FEEL LIKE I'" INTERRUPTING$
Use the %esian D#3 opener.
PERCEIVED PROBLE": SHE SEE"S BUSY$
1omen are a%most a%ways interested in meeting an attracti,e guy. +,en i& they seem usy. I&
she has headphones on( =ust start ta%'ing and she wi%% proa%y ta'e them o&&. It is e,en
possi%e to approach women whi%e they are on their ce%% phone. It-s a %ow percentage
maneu,er( ut it can wor'.
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PERCEIVED PROBLE": SHE SAYS SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND$
#his can mean se,era% di&&erent things. Sometimes women say I ha,e a oy&riend ecause
they want you to go away. #his is not a%ways the case. I ha,e a oy&riend can imp%y any o&
the &o%%owing)
1e need to 'eep it a secret i& we hoo' up.
I& we-re going to ha,e se.( we ha,e to do it within the ne.t ID minutes( and don-t e.pect to
e,er see me again.
5y &ami%y and &riends pressured me so much to get a oy&riend that I got one =ust to shut
them up( ut I don-t e,en %i'e him. I =ust ring him to &ami%y parties so peop%e wi%% stay o&& my
ac'.
It-s up to you to read the signa%s and %oo' &or cues in the conte.t o& the interaction. Don-t
automatica%%y assume that e,ery woman who te%%s you she has a oy&riend wants you to get
%ost.
PERCEIVED PROBLE": SHE'S WALKING AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET HER TO
STOP$
#his is an easy one. #here-s a step y step process to meeting a woman who-s wa%'ing down
the street. I-,e seen students do this on their &irst try.
I. Geep your eyes high. !e aware o& the space J0 &eet in &ront o& you as you wa%'.
2. 1hen you spot a woman you-re interested in( get one o& your de&au%t openers ready.
J. 1hen you are I0 &eet away &rom her( start the opener. Spea' %oud%y to get her
attention. I& you start &rom %ess than I0 &eet( there wi%% not e enough time &or her to
rea%i$e that someone is ta%'ing to her and she wi%% =ust 'eep wa%'ing.
A. <rom D &eet away you wi%% proa%y need to repeat the eginning o& the opener. #he
&irst time is =ust to get her attention.
D. 8ow that you are within J &eet( stand direct%y in &ront o& her so that you are
dominating her &ie%d o& ,ision. I& she tries to wa%' y( step direct%y in her path.
C. 8ow that you ha,e her attention( &inish your opener and proceed as you norma%%y
wou%d.
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PERCEIVED PROBLE": SHE KEEPS SAYING WEIRD THINGS TRYING TO THROW "E
OFF$
#yth@ It means she doesn-t %i'e me.
Reality@ 5ost women =ust act %i'e a smart ass to see i& you-re man%y enough to withstand
attac's.
#hat-s how women are. #his is the dance o& dating. *ou try to pursue the woman in some
way( she 'eeps doing things to throw you o&&. #his is norma% and has een happening &or
mi%%ions o& years. Qust do your est to 'eep her &ocused and contro% the con,ersation. A more
ad,anced s'i%% &or this is <rame Contro%. *ou can %earn &rame contro% &rom my audio CD
series Underground Dating Seminar.
9G you got a%% that@ It-s now o&&icia%( you-re not a%%owed to wimp out on your approaches &or
any o& the reasons %isted here. She out with a guy@ She-s out with a group@ She-s &air game.
I& you-re sti%% ta%'ing yourse%& out o& doing the approach( that-s proa%y creati,e a,oidance
messing with your head.
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Instant Attraction
CHAPTER 14 - APPROACH AN$IETY
8ot e,eryone has approach an.iety. I& you ha,e a%ready started your approaches and you are
not ha,ing a pro%em with approach an.iety( p%ease s'ip Chapters IA and ID.
5ost guys do get approach an.iety when they &irst start out. #he amount o& an.iety ,aries
tremendous%y. <or some( it-s =ust a matter o& getting warmed up and you can wor' through it.
9thers ta'e se,era% months to get o,er their &ear. #hen there are peop%e who are una%e to
wor' through approach an.iety no matter how hard they try. I& you &ind yourse%& una%e to
wor' through it( there-s a chance you might ha,e something more serious ca%%ed socia%
an.iety. I ha,e a system &or de&eating socia% an.iety a,ai%a%e here.
APPROACH ANXIETY DONT'S
I& you ha,e a simp%e case o& approach an.iety( here-s a &ew tips on wor'ing through it. 7et-s
start with what not to do when you &ee% approach an.iety)
'onBt start ta%'ing to your wingman aout who-s the greatest pic'up artist e,er and
comparing and contrasting di&&erent sty%es o& opening. Sa,e that &or another day. It-s
%i'e%y that the two o& you are pro,iding each other with an e.cuse not to approach.
'onBt start cyc%ing through D or I0 openers in your head searching &or that per&ect
one. I ca%% this o,er2ca%irating. 5ost o& the openers in this oo' can wor' in any
setting. 9nce you start cyc%ing through di&&erent openers and specu%ating on which one
wou%d e right in this setting( you can easi%y &a%% into a pattern o& doing nothing. #o
a,oid o,er2ca%irating( you shou%d pic' 2 de&au%t openers at the eginning o& the night
and =ust use those 2. Don-t ma'e things more comp%icated then they need to e.
'onBt ma'e negati,e assumptions %i'e she wou%d ne,er go &or a guy %i'e me. Qust go
do your approach.
APPROACH ANXIETY "USTS
4ere-s what you should do)
!e socia%. #a%' to strangers. #a%' to whoe,er is around. 4igh &i,e a &at gir%. Spread as
much =oy and happiness as you can.
Use 2 de&au%t openers.
Do J warm up approaches. #hese are throwaways. It doesn-t matter what the resu%t is(
the point is =ust to get yourse%& in a socia% mood. 9nce you do three warm ups(
approach an.iety usua%%y susides.
I& you stic' to these &undamenta%s( things wi%% usua%%y &a%% into p%ace nice%y.
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It a%so he%ps to ha,e a good idea what your priorities are &or the night and what p%an you-re
going to &o%%ow. I 'now &or me( the most important goa% is to ha,e &un. #he 2
nd
most
important goa% is to %earn some new things aout women and aout peop%e in genera%. #he
third priority is to meet one or two great women and &orm a rea% connection with them. In
order to achie,e these goa%s( I-m going to &o%%ow the same procedure e,ery time.
I. I-m going to approach J women =ust to get myse%& in a good mood. I =ust want to get
my socia% s'i%%s warmed up. I don-t rea%%y care i& these approaches %ead to anything. I
don-t rea%%y care i& the women are coo% or interesting. I =ust want to start ta%'ing to
peop%e to get into a socia% mood.
2. I-m going to approach B2I0 more women using the openers in this oo'. I wrote these
openers so I 'now they-re going to e &un &or me.
J. I e.pect that out o& those I0 approaches( aout 2 women are going to comp%ete%y
re=ect me. #hen A others wi%% turn out to e oring and it wi%% go nowhere. #hen there
wi%% A women who get ,ery attracted to me and spar's wi%% start to &%y.
A. 9ut o& these &ina% A candidates( I wi%% proa%y ta'e phone numers &rom J o& them(
and ta'e the other one home within a &ew hours.
#hat-s my procedure( and I &o%%ow it e,ery time I go out. 1hen you start to go out a%% the
time to meet women( you-%% start to &o%%ow your own procedure. #his he%ps you get through
approach an.iety.
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CHAPTER 15 - FEAR OF RE%ECTION
#he &ear o& re=ection is a huge ostac%e &or guys who are =ust getting started in approaching
women. 7i'e e,eryone e%se( I-,e gone through my own att%es with this &ear. #here ha,e een
times when I went out to approach women and &e%t so scared that I on%y spo'e to I or 2
peop%e in D hours. It too' me a &ew wee's to o,ercome the &ear o& re=ection when I &irst
started. !y ta'ing consistent action( the &ear wi%% s%ow%y &ade.
I-m going to %et you in on a &ew 'ey princip%es so you can wor' your way through this &ear.
It-s di&&icu%t to ma'e the &ear disappear comp%ete%y( ut i& you 'eep these princip%es in mind(
your &ear wi%% e managea%e and wi%% not hurt your de,e%opment. It wou%d proa%y ta'e
thousands o& approaches &or you to come to these conc%usions yourse%&( so try to stay with
me here and 'eep an open mind( e,en i& this ma'es %itt%e sense at &irst.
RE)ECTION IS YOUR FRIEND$
FEARFUL PARALYSIS IS YOUR ENE"Y$
1hen you ma'e the decision that you-re going to wor' on your dating %i&e( you ma'e a
commitment to yourse%&. *ou are ma'ing a commitment to impro,e the 6ua%ity o& your %i&e and
you ha,e to understand that success does not come without a price.
#here wi%% e success&u% moments where you-re in ed with some ama$ing woman you =ust
met( and you can-t e%ie,e how ama$ing your %i&e has ecome. *ou-%% end up in re%ationships
with women who you wou%d ha,e thought were out o& your %eague. *ou-%% &ee% %i'e a roc'
star. *ou-%% e standing on top o& the wor%d.
#here wi%% a%so e moments o& emarrassment where some woman shuts you down %oud%y in
pu%ic. #here wi%% e moments o& pain when you-re standing in some random ar &i%%ed with
&ear ecause you 'now you ha,e to do I0 approaches tonight in order to &u%&i%% the promise
you-,e made to yourse%&.
5ost o& the pain and emarrassment comes in the eginning( when you-re sti%% %earning the
ropes. 0etting %aid %i'e a roc'star comes %ater( a&ter you-,e paid your dues. In the eginning(
you wi%% go through a process o& ecoming desensiti$ed to &ear and emarrassment.
RE)ECTION FORCES YOU TO GET SO"E BALLS$
#he MI most important thing you can do to increase your success with women is get some
a%%s. I& you had that( you-d e a%e to approach I00 women a day i& you wanted to. *ou
wou%dn-t e phased y &ear o& re=ection. *ou wou%dn-t stand there &retting aout the ,ague
possii%ity that her ,io%ent oy&riend is aout to appear. *ou wou%dn-t get thrown o&& y
women who test you. *ou wou%dn-t e scared away y groups o& peop%e and socia% situations.
#his is the &irst reason why re=ection is your &riend. A&ter you-,e een re=ected I0 or ID times(
the &ear starts to go away. As the &ear &ades( you ecome a etter person. *ou endow
yourse%& with a specia% power that ,ery &ew men e,er e.perience) the power to approach a
woman without &earing re=ection.
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1ith e,ery approach you ma'e( you get a %itt%e it c%oser to eing that power&u% person. 1ith
e,ery re=ection you endure( the pain and emarrassment a&&ects you %ess and %ess. Su&&ering
&rom pain and emarrassment is a choice. *ou can choose to su&&er( or you can choose to
%augh it o&&. It-s up to you.
I used to choose su&&ering. I-d sit there worrying aout who was %istening and what they
might thin' aout me. A&ter enduring hundreds o& re=ections I rea%i$ed that it didn-t matter
who was %istening or what they thought o& me. It was on%y a&ter this rea%i$ation occurred that
I egan to e.perience the highest %e,e%s o& success with women.
8ow that I-,e reached the pinnac%e o& success in this area o& %i&e( I can honest%y say that I
don-t ha,e any regrets. I owe much o& my success to the women who re=ected me %oud%y in
pu%ic. 1ithout them( I wou%dn-t ha,e the a%%s to do some o& the cra$y stu&& I do.
RE)ECTION IS YOUR FRIEND BECAUSE IT "AKES THE FEAR GO AWAY$
1hen your &ear goes away( you start to emanate a new 'ind o& energy that women are
e.treme%y attracted to. It-s unusua% &or a woman to meet a man who approaches her without
&ear( without eing ashamed o& his natura% desires( a man who 'nows i& she re=ects him he
can easi%y meet another woman. #his is a ,ery attracti,e attitude.
7et-s ta'e a second to thin' aout the treatment o& &ears and phoias. #he psycho%ogica%
community has een treating phoias &or many years with e.posure therapy. 4ere-s a %itt%e
%ur &rom a wesite o&&ering e.posure therapy using ,irtua% rea%ity to cure spider phoia.
+.posure therapy has pro,ed e&&ecti,e &or many di&&erent types o& phoias( inc%uding spider
phoia. +.posure therapy is a c%inica% treatment ased on gradua%%y and systematica%%y
e.posing the phoic person to the &eared o=ect or situation a %itt%e at a time( starting ,ery
s%ow%y( and ca%ming them. 7itt%e y %itt%e their &ear decreases and they ecome more
com&orta%e with spiders. 2http233www.hitl.washington.edu3pro4ects3exposure3
Sound &ami%iar@ It-s the same idea as doing %ots o& approaches in order to grow into a
power&u% person.
YOUR REAL ENE"Y IS FEARFUL PARALYSIS$
<ear&u% para%ysis is when you see something you want( ut you =ust can-t ring yourse%& to do
anything aout getting it. #his has more negati,e e&&ects on you than re=ection e,er cou%d. Do
whate,er you can to a,oid &ear&u% para%ysis.
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CHAPTER 16 - THEINTANGIBLES
#here are many important 6ua%ities that you can cu%ti,ate within yourse%& to increase your
success with women. !e&ore sending you out into the wor%d to start your approaches( I want
thin' aout some o& these 6ua%ities.
#he &irst J you shou%d 'eep in mind are)
A &un attitude
A sincere interest in the woman.
"ositi,e intentions &or the interaction
7et-s ta'e a moment to discuss these intangi%es and why so many men &ind them di&&icu%t to
incorporate.
FUN ATTITUDE
Pro!lem@ Some men %oo' at meeting women as a usiness transaction. #hey ma'e o&&ers
and try to negotiate &or the woman-s attention and a&&ection. <or e.amp%e( some men o&&er to
uy the woman a drin'. 9thers o&&er to ta'e her out to dinner. #hen they e.pect something in
return >se.? i& the woman accepts the drin' or the dinner. #his 'ind o& strategy is encouraged
in our cu%ture y mainstream maga$ines and e,erage company ads. 9nce in a whi%e it can
succeed. 4owe,er it is not the est case scenario. I& you are wor'ing this ang%e( the woman
'nows she has a%% the power. It-s %i'e you-re a door to door ,acuum sa%esman. *ou-re 'noc'ing
on doors trying to cut dea%s. It-s not se.y. It-s not attracti,e. 1omen ha,e seen it a mi%%ion
times and they-re ored o& it. *ou-re not ha,ing &un. She-s not ha,ing &un. *ou might as we%%
e at wor'.
Solution@ *ou ha,e to change the way you ,iew women. A%though women c%aim they want a
guy who uys drin's and dinners( this 'ind o& a negotiation rare%y resu%ts in attraction. It
genera%%y %ea,es women &ee%ing gui%ty aout the %ac' o& chemistry. She 'nows you-re trying
your est. It-s =ust not turning her on. So what do they rea%%y want@
GIRLS )UST WANNA HAVE FUN$
#hese are words to %i,e y. It-s rea%%y true. 1omen are more interested in ha,ing goo&y
chi%dish &un than getting &ree dinner and drin's. #hey can get &ree dinner and drin's anytime.
It-s routine. A man who is &un and &ree spirited is much harder to &ind. 1omen are more
interested in ha,ing great se. than they are in getting &ree dinners. A man who has is
se.ua%%y &ree and se.ua%%y e.pressi,e is hard to &ind. #hat-s what women want.
Pro!lem@ #oo ana%ytica%. Some guys thin' you can decode the &ema%e mind and then =ust
p%ug in data to get resu%ts( %i'e it-s a computer.
#his theory is part%y correct. *es( you can decode the &ema%e rain. 1omen do ha,e
emedded triggers &or attraction and se.ua% arousa%.
#he irony is that i& you &ocus too much on the data entry side o& things( you wi%% %ose the
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ai%ity to show your human side to women. #his wi%% saotage a%% o& your interactions. I-,e
seen it may times in students who ha,e ta'en in too much in&ormation. #hey get so ana%ytica%
that they pro=ect a co%dness to a%% the women they meet. #he women can sense this.
4ow do I 'now@ I ha"e decoded the &ema%e rain. I 'now a%% the &ormu%as. I 'now e.act%y
the right words to say to get a woman interested. *ou can get a%% the right %ines and &ormu%as
&rom my CDs and oo's. *ou can go recite this stu&& ,eratim. #hat part is easy.
#he hard part is that you need to e a%e to put &ee%ing and energy into the materia%. 1ithout
that( it-s not going to wor' &or you. De,e%oping a &un attitude is an essentia% part o& this
energy.
SINCERE INTEREST IN THE WO"AN
Pro!lem@ Some men ,iew interactions with women as nothing more than a source o&
,a%idation. #hey are trying to &i%% an empty space inside that cannot e &i%%ed y temporary
,a%idation. #his can saotage your success with women. 5en who ha,e this pro%em ha,e
di&&icu%ty &ocusing on anything the woman is saying( and this causes them to pro=ect a co%d
,ie.
Solution@ <ocus on some o& the other ene&its o& meeting women( such as se.(
companionship( re%ationships( or the education you-re getting &rom doing %ots o& approaches.
It-s easy &or this to ecome an ego trip( ut i& you %et that happen you are saotaging your
chances o& success and missing out on some o& the &un stu&&.
Pro!lem@ 5ost women are coy and oring at &irst. #hey e.pect you to carry to the &u%%
urden o& the con,ersation yourse%&. As a resu%t( it can e di&&icu%t to create a sincere interest
in a%% o& the women you approach.
#his is an easy trap to &a%% into. Un&ortunate%y( many o& the more attracti,e women out there
do not show any interesting persona%ity traits when you &irst meet them. #here are good
reasons &or this. Some ha,e een trained y our society to act dumer than they rea%%y are.
#his sort o& eha,ior is rewarded o,er the course o& years and years. #he end resu%t is that
she wi%% not show you her true inte%%igence unti% the two o& you 'now each other etter. 9ther
women are =ust p%ain shy when approached y a stranger. +,en women who are interesting
and inte%%igent are sometimes too shy to show their true persona%ity in the eginning.
5any times the woman is waiting &or you to ta'e the %ead. 5ost women wi%% =ust sit ac' and
%et you do your thing in the eginning. #hey-re used to men trying hard to impress them.
1omen are natura%%y inc%ined to e &o%%owers and they wi%% o&ten act &air%y neutra% in the
eginning o& the interaction( e,en i& they are interested in you.
9nce you ecome pro&icient in using the opening %ines in this oo'( you wi%% start to
encounter this more o&ten.
#he so%ution to this pro%em is &air%y simp%e. *ou ha,e to dig deeper into a woman-s
persona%ity and &ind out more aout her. !e patient and do this s%ow%y. #here-s no te%%ing what
you might &ind a&ter the initia% shyness or imo act wears o&&.
In the eginning it pays to try to de,e%op a sincere interest in e,ery woman you meet. 1hen
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you ecome ad,anced( you wi%% start to de,e%op time sa,ing screening techni6ues &or &inding
the 'ind o& women you %i'e.
POSITIVE INTENTIONS FOR THE INTERACTION
#his is a ig one. Some men haror a secret hatred &or women. 9thers want to use the
techni6ues I-,e created to ta'e power o,er peop%e or get something out o& %i&e that they don-t
actua%%y deser,e. I-,e noticed that there-s a tendency among some eginners to ta'e on what
I ca%% #he practica% =o'e menta%ity. #his is when you-re start thin'ing I-%% =ust %earn a%% these
%ines and routines( go out and te%% them to women( then I-%% ha,e se..... hahaha( the =o'es on
her. 1hat a suc'er:
#he techni6ues I teach are ,ery power&u%. +,en without the intangi%es( you-%% proa%y score
e,ery now and again using what I teach. 4owe,er( you won-t ha,e consistent success and
positi,e e.periences un%ess you ha,e positi,e intention &or e,ery interaction.
I& you ha,e negati,e intentions( it-s ,ery di&&icu%t to hide them. 1omen can a%ways te%%. It-s
%i'e they can sme%% it. I& you haror a secret resentment towards women( this wi%% saotage
you and there-s no %ine or routines that is going to e a%e to he%p you.
#his can e a ,ery con&using issue &or many eginners. I& you =ust %oo' at the sur&ace o& the
openers contained in this oo'( some o& them seem to po'e &un at the woman you-re
approaching. I& you a%ready ha,e a negati,e ,iew o& women( it might sound appea%ing to
ma'e &un o& women in a mean2spirited way. #his is something that wi%% ac'&ire e,ery time.
#here are many %e,e%s o& comp%e.ity and su2communication to the openers in this oo'. *ou
must de%i,er them many times to understand the ,arious %e,e%s.
#he openers in this oo' shou%d ha,e a p%ay&u%( %ight hearted intention ehind them when you
de%i,er them. #his is a ,ery attracti,e attitude. #he approaches shou%d e &un &or you and &un
&or the women.
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CHAPTER 17 - WHEREI LEARNED THIS STUFF
I0 years ago( I was a tota% nerd who had no socia% s'i%%s and no ai%ity to ta%' to women.
A&ter many years o& hard wor'( I-,e gotten to the point where I-m so good at pic'ing up
women that I actua%%y get paid to do it. 1hat a trans&ormation: I-d %i'e to share the secret o&
my trans&ormation with you.
#he secret to my success is mode%ing myse%& a&ter success&u% peop%e. I-,e chosen to emu%ate
success&u% peop%e &rom 2 o& the most di&&icu%t and competiti,e &ie%ds in the wor%d2 ath%etics
and entertainment. 1hen I %oo' ac' on my de,e%opment( there are a &ew 'ey peop%e who
I-,e %earned &rom inc%uding)
A as'eta%% coach who went on to coach in the 8!A.
A &riend who p%ays drums in a &etish2gothic roc' and.
A co%%ege pro&essor who has een around the wor%d meeting the greatest thin'ers o&
our time.
An actor who tra,e%s internationa%%y pic'ing up women e,erywhere he goes.
A %oca% musician who has had o,er 2D threesomes.
A touring guitar p%ayer who can seduce women in under I0 minutes.
!y spending time around these peop%e and %earning aout how they thin'( how they process
success and &ai%ure( how they adapt to the changing demands o& eing success&u%( I-,e
%earned %essons are a%most impossi%e to put into words.
+mu%ating success&u% peop%e is an important part o& de,e%oping your identity. I& you wor' as
hard as I ha,e and %earn &rom the est( anything is possi%e.
3eady &or the ne.t step@ 4ead o,er to radp.com &or more new ideas.
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BONUS MATERIAL&
4ere-s a &ew onus openers that I-,e made a,ai%a%e on%y to memers o& the J0;J0 C%u and
at 7i,e 1or'shops.
COTTON CANDY
#his is the opener I used on e,ery approach when I was %earning and doing approaches B
days per wee'.
4ey do you 'now anywhere around here when I can &ind some cotton
candy this time o& day;night@
Contingencies)
1e%% you guys %oo' %i'e you go to the circus a %ot.
1here I-m &rom they ha,e cotton candy on e,ery street corner( you can get
it any time you want.
1hen was the %ast time you went to the circus@ Did your grandpa e,er ta'e
you to the circus@ 9h( I get it( you-re in "+#A and you thin' the circus is
crue%.
YOGA OPENER
So....how %ong ha,e you een doing yoga@
Contingencies)
0ir%) 4ow did you 'now I do yoga@
!ecause I-m psychic.
0ir%) I don-t do yoga.
1e%% you %oo' rea%%y....>s%ow and se.ua%? &%e.i%e. I& you don-t do yoga( how
did you get so &%e.i%e@
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GLOSSARY
Con"ersational Re&ertoire0 #his is a co%%ection o& materia% you can use to he%p you 'eep
con,ersations interesting. It can e stories( routines( games( or simp%y a su=ect you are
passionate aout.
Social 9alue0 #his is the coo%ness &actor. +,ery socia% setting has a hierarchy o& ,a%ue.
Some peop%e ha,e %ow ,a%ue( some ha,e high ,a%ue. 1omen instincti,e%y pay more attention
to socia% ,a%ue then men. 5en tend do e dismissi,e o& the importance o& socia% ,a%ue( and
this wor's against them. #his is a di&&icu%t concept to put into words( so %et me suggest a
mo,ie. 5ean 0ir%s with 7indsey 7ohan is a &%ic' you might want to chec' out to %earn more
aout this topic. It-s &i%%ed with socia% competition and di&&erent ways o& pro=ecting socia%
,a%ue. *ou can pro=ect socia% ,a%ue using your ody %anguage( c%othing( ,oice( con,ersationa%
repertoire( who you are seen with( and many other things.
Social Tension0 It-s that &ee%ing you get when somethings =ust not right( or someone rea's
socia% norms. Socia% tension is the root o& a%% humor. 1e %augh to re%ie,e the tension. 5ost
peop%e who are considered &unny ha,e mastered the art o& ma'ing others &ee% socia% tension
whi%e they themse%,es ignore it.
Role Playin(0 #his is when you and a woman p%ay out stereotypica% ma%e and &ema%e ro%es in
order to get to 'now each other more 6uic'%y. *ou can ma'e it seem %i'e you a%ready ha,e
'nown each other &or years y using ro%e p%aying. <or e.amp%e( in the 4orsegir% Shoc'er( you
ta'e on the ro%e o& the re&ormed u%%y whi%e the gir% ta'es on the ro%e o& the nerdy gir%.
ncon(ruence0 #his is when you are trying to e something you-re not and the women can
te%% it-s u%%shit. <or e.amp%e( i& you tried the 9n%y 0ir% opener whi%e pro=ecting %ow socia%
,a%ue with your c%othing( posture and ,oice tone( that wou%d e.pose an incongruence. 1hen
you are &irst starting out you wi%% occasiona%%y show incongruence. It-s a necessary side e&&ect
to your persona% growth. Don-t &ear incongruence( ut 'eep it to a minimum.
O"er?ualified0 1omen are interested in meeting men who are e6ua% or s%ight%y higher socia%
,a%ue. I& you pro=ect too much ,a%ue it can ma'e you seem unattaina%e to some women( and
they wi%% 6uic'%y %ose interest in you.
Or!iter0 #his is a man who attempts to win a woman-s a&&ection y eing her &riend. 4e
c%aims to e =ust a &riend( ut secret%y desires her and is waiting &or the right time to con&ess
his &ee%ings. It-s ,ery ine&&ecti,e( ut many men emp%oy this strategy. *ou can identi&y these
guys y their s%ogan( I-m wor'ing on her.
O"ercali!ratin(0 #his is when you spend too much time thin'ing aout &inding the per&ect
opener. 5any students use o,erca%iration as a way to a,oid doing an approach whi%e sti%%
&ee%ing %i'e they were sti%% doing something use&u%.
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