UNLEARN

101 Simple Truths

for a Beter Life
Sampler
For the complete version visit:
unlearn101.com
Humble The Poet
This Project was completed with the very generous
support and contributons of the following:
Brwnppl.com
Karim Lakhani
Nadia Asimi
Darshan Dorka
B-Coaliton
Amanpreet Sidhu
SUPPORT ALL SOIL
Satsh Kanwar
Davinder Toor
Rick & Harjot Matharu
Pavinder & Karmjit Athwal
Harwinder Mander
Aiksimar Singh
Jagmeet Singh MPP
Itvinder Singh
Gurdev Singh & Balbir Kaur Mahl (My Parents)
Contents
0. why? 8
1. no straight lines 10
2. want to be happier in 5 easy steps? 13
3. Unhappiness is simple 16
4. the gift of fear 19
5. golden girls 23
6. deathtrap for dependencies 26
7. We carry a lot through our lives 29
8. when less is more 32
9. loving a bottomless pit 34
10. How we spend our days becomes our life 36
11. putting yourself first is not selfish 39
12. when was the world fair? 42
13. youre going to die 46
14. who are you? 49
15. we all have our stresses 51
16. Pave your own road, theres less traffic 54
17. dont sabotage yourself 57
18. time heals all, but not on your schedule 60
19. a lesson from 50 cent 62
20. you can be whatever the f*ck you want 64
21. Lonely is a feeling, not a circumstance 67
22. Dont trust everything you feel 69
23. Things get overwhelming quickly 73
24. I dont know you 75
25. Hukam 78
26. money is a funny thing 80
27. A fear overcome is a strength acquired. 83
28. trust your wings 85
29. you have reasons to be miserable 88
30. fluffy pillows and the truth 91
31. is it ignorance or apathy? 95
32. comparisons are killer 98
33. high expectations and low patience 100
34. help those you love the way you love 103
35. lets talk about your beliefs 106
36. allow your heart some character 110
37. The more we let go, the more we gain 112
38. heartbreaks are essential 114
39. another lesson from 50 cent 118
40. people are expensive 121
41. sometimes we need to suffer 123
42. falling in love with learning 126
43. less expectations less disappointments 129
44. FITTING IN IS A POINTLESS ACTIVITY 132
45. ghostbusters 135
46. you cant saveem all 138
47. it hurts to care sometimes 141
48. which emotions are you feeding? 143
49. you cant protect your bubble 145
50. you have to do whats best for you 148
51. the religion of want 151
52. dont let someone else write your story 153
53. depending on luck is for suckers 156
54. I met this girl once... 159
55. dont know yourself, cant be yourself 163
56. oh man, how scary it is to ask for help 167
57. are you happy? 170
58. REGRETS ARE Stupid 173
59. Nobody fits in 176
60. all My mothers 179
61. only boring people get bored 181
62. one promise of life is that its going to end 183
63. love is a gift not a loan 185
64. self-pity is self sabotage 187
65. worms of validation 189
66. which way is your spiral headed? 192
67. how do others see you? 195
68. you decide your worth 198
69. the storm is in your mind, not in your life 201
70. put that heart on a leash 204
71. are you in it to give or receive? 207
72. fight! 210
73. you need to forgive 213
74. labels are dehumanizing 216
75. celebrate your scars 219
76. validation is a helluva drug 222
77. fake it til you make it 225
78. baby steps add up 228
79. you only have so much time 231
80. dont infect yourself with negativity 234
81. words are weapons, if you allow them to be 237
82. you are a work of art in progress 239
83. losing a piece of ourselves 242
84. dont be too hard on yourself 244
85. whats right and wrong? 247
86. embrace your challenges 249
87. how rarely they think of us 251
88. love and logic wont hold hands 253
89. smile to feel it or conceal it? 256
90. killing expectations births happiness 258
91. whats taking up space in your life? 261
92. living the width of your life 263
93. the more love you give, the more you get? 265
94. the only constant 268
95. no minimums on appreciation 271
96. who holds the key to your happiness? 273
97. starting is the hardest part 275
98. dont hold yourself back 277
99. Happiness is not a place 280
100. Some folks are addicted to misery 283
101. The Most important chapter in this book 285
To attain knowledge,
add things everyday.
To attain wisdom, remove
things every day.
- Lao Tzu
8
why?
The journey of my life is no diferent than the journey of any one else
on this planet. There have been brilliant moments and moments
that stll make me cringe when I think about them. Im haunted
by my past, and worried about my future just as much as anyone
else. Im confdent that Im not the only one going through the
peaks and valleys of life. The realizaton that Im not alone allows
me to understand how normal these things really are. We tend to
amplify our problems and sink into a centre-of-the-world mentality,
thinking that the entre universe is conspiring against us; its not.
We all have conversatons with ourselves; in the shower, on the way
to work, late at night sleepless in bed. I took these conversatons,
and just started typing and sharing them with the people in my life
who wanted to hear them. If youre reading this, that includes you.
Loneliness can be a horrid feeling, and its amazing how quickly it
can dissipate when we realize how much we have in common with
others folks; ironically the room is full of folks who feel alone. The
remedy I found that best works to combat this feeling is to simply
connect with others.
Im an observer and a creator. This means I simply try to pay
atenton and restate what Ive learned in the way I understood it.
I worked as an elementary school teacher for over half a decade,
and those experiences taught me to keep my communicatons
short and sweet. Informaton in small chunks is easier to absorb.
Thats what this book is, a collecton of nuggets to remind you of
the things that keep this wild ride steady. I use the word remind
because we have all had our fashes of brilliance and greatness
throughout life, and whether or not we knew it, the mindsets we
0
9
had during those moments can be applied to our challenges today,
to help us overcome them.
I appreciate the tme youve taken to check this out and hope you
enjoy my work as much as I enjoyed writng it. Please soak in what
you like, disregard what you dont, and share whatever you feel
someone else needs to hear.
One Luv
Kanwer Singh
Humble The Poet
10
no straight lines
There arent very many straight lines in nature, and that includes
your life. When reading through this book, the frst thing I want
you to let go of is the idea of a straight line. Youre going to come
to points in this book where you stop and say, Didnt he already
say that? The answer is, YES! Anything worth saying is worth
repeatng. Its rare that we come across something worthwhile in
life, and a single encounter is enough for it to stay with us. This
book was writen as much more of a cycle than simply having a
beginning, middle and end.
Ideas need to be reinforced and revisited to setle themselves into
us. These days, informaton is being taken in at such a rate that
its forgoten before the page is even turned (assuming people stll
turn pages). Any skill worth having requires practce, and practce
is simply repetton over and over untl it becomes second nature.
Theres very litle order in this book; you can read it backwards,
start from the middle, or read every other chapter; the content
here only has value when it connects with you. What you read at 15
will have a completely diferent relevance when youre 25. I hope
you decide to revisit these writngs and build new connectons with
the ideas as your own journey contnues.
The thoughts and ideas presented are nothing revolutonary.
Theyve been around for thousands of years, and most of this
wisdom already exists within us, we just need to shed some of the
other things the world has put on top. We gain more from letng
go, theres nothing mystcal and secretve about this idea. This
book is meant to agree with, and bring out the wisdom you already
possess.
1
11
No mater the shape of your life and journey, I hope this book
makes the trip a bit more enjoyable.
12
We gain more from letting go,
theres nothing mystical and
secretive about this idea.
13
2
want to be happier in 5
easy steps?
Just send 19.99 to Im kidding.
Write down fve things in your life that youre grateful for, or write
ten.
A simple shif in what your mind is paying atenton to can do
wonders for the way you feel. Its not a trick, its not a gimmick, its
respectng the fact that happiness is a mindset, so SET YOUR MIND
TO HAPPINESS BY THINKING OF HAPPY SH*T.
It doesnt last, but is it supposed to? Does it make sense to be
happy ALL the tme? If you were happy all the tme, would we even
know what happiness was anymore?
Improve your relatonship with all your emotons because theres
a lot to discover from them. Im grateful that I have a variety of
emotons. They teach me something new about myself on a regular
basis.
We hide the darkness with our smiles, feel lonely in crowded
rooms, and become so accustomed to these feelings that we begin
to believe theyre apart of who we are.
Theyre not. You wont be the same person if you let them go, youll
be beter.
People who arent happy with what they have wont be happy with
what they get. This mindset can be both benefcial and burdensome.
Some folks fnd happiness in the pursuit itself and are grateful for
the opportunity.
14
Personally, Im not looking to be happy all the tme nor do I want
to be satsfed and content. I enjoy an ambitous hunger, and as
long as Im moving forward, learning, sharing, and growing, Ill be
grateful for every nugget that comes my way, whether it be sh*t or
gold.
What are you grateful for?
15
We hide the darkness with
our smiles, feel lonely in
crowded rooms, and become
so accustomed to these
feelings that we begin to
believe theyre a part
of who we are.
16
Unhappiness is simply when the picture in your head doesnt
match the picture in front of you. Some folks arent happy because
they dont have what they want, or they arent where they wish
to be. Some just feel horrible about themselves. Maybe theyre
comparing themselves to others, or even a former version of
themselves. Either way, the simple equaton is the mismatch of
how you want it with how it is.
How you want it isnt set in stone. Most of us have wanted
something for a long tme, and once receiving it, realize it wasnt
all that, and what we had propped up in our mind was an infated
sense of euphoria or contentment. Wantng less will defnitely
make you happier than getng more.
How it is isnt set in stone either. We see what we choose. Most of
the improvements Ive made in my life this past year came from
tweaking the way I saw the things that were always around me.
I stopped seeing my mistakes as failures, but rather valuable (or
expensive) lessons. Roadblocks became speed bumps and hurdles.
Reasons to quit became reasons to adapt (or motvaton to smash
through).
Lets not get it twisted, Im not a Zen Buddha baby. Bellyaching
is stll an art to me and I complain about things that make frst
world problems look legit. I do, however, only give myself about
10 minutes to be a Sad Panda before I move forward. I ask myself,
How did you want it, re-evaluate how it is, and try to tweak and
adjust both to bring them a bit closer together.
Expectatons are a bigger enemy to our happiness than our
3
Unhappiness is simple
17
circumstances; the less expectatons you have, the beter of you
are. Couple that with a Positve Pete set of goggles, and things will
feel even a bit more smile-worthy.
Its also important to remember that everlastng happiness is
a concept only promised by preachers and infomercials. Its
healthy to have a myriad (thats a smart word for a bunch) of
emotons occupying the hotel of your heart. Welcome them all in,
and experience them the way theyre meant to be (just clean up
aferwards). Youll also realize the relatonships between them.
The less things anger you, the less things will excite you. The less
things make you cry, the less things will make you laugh. Diferent
life experiences are going to break barriers within you and youll
respond emotonally to things you never connected to before (like
getng all teary eyed every tme you watch the end of that Fresh
Prince episode when his pops bails on him *snif*)
The next tme youre having a Sad Panda moment can be the next
tme you ask yourself about the picture in your head, and the
picture in front of you. That moment of realizaton and discovery
will put you in a positon of power to mold both ends to bring them
closer together. It works beter than junk food, sometmes that is.
PLEASE NOTE: Emotons are related to chemicals in your brain and a
few paragraphs from a rhyming Beardo may not sufce. Dont ever
be afraid to seek help if you start to feel helpless and overwhelmed.
I have, and it has helped a lot.
18
Expectations are a bigger
enemy to our happiness
than our circumstances.
19
Fear is a gif.
Im talking about the fear we have as creatures that gives us a jolt
when in danger. The jolt either gives us whats necessary to deal
with that danger, or whats necessary to get the f*ck out of the
way. That type of fear is something we only feel in the present and
generally lasts for a short tme.
Humans are funny creatures because we can carry fears even when
out of danger. If youve ever been a victm of crime you know how
it lingers and disrupts the normalcy of your life for quite some tme.
It messes with your sleep, keeps you on edge in seemingly safe
situatons, and can serve to paralyze you when you try to move
forward.
On top of that, we have this awesome (remembering that the
word awesome doesnt always mean a good thing) ability to create
fear, not only in ourselves, but also in others. These fears include
(but arent limited to) fear of failure, fear of disappointment, fear
of embarrassment, fear of loss, fear of change, and fear of truth.
These fears are technically considered phobias because theyre
irratonal, and dont actually involve danger.
Asking that girl for her number and having her reply with an eww
no isnt going to be the end of your existence. It may feel sh*ty,
and the desire to not feel sh*ty may keep you from asking her. The
same way the fear of disappointng others keeps you from switching
out of Biology class into a Modern Dance class; datng outside your
bubble; or leaving your job as a teacher to be a rap singer.
4
the gift of fear
20
These phobia type fears arent gifs like the adrenaline rush you get
when the car in front of you stops suddenly, and you need to react
tout suite. That adrenaline goes away afer a few minutes since it
has served its purpose. Phobias only seem to grow in magnitude
and multply.
We all have these phobias, and the ones we carry are as unique as
we are. As a mass of people, we can have collectve phobias, and
these phobias have been exploited and used to control us like lab
rats for decades (word to Edward Bernays).
We avoid those feelings by playing it safe, or playing along. Our
fear of exclusion motvates our assimilaton. Our fear of not
being notced motvates our loud behavior. Our fear of loneliness
motvates the personal sacrifces and compromises we think are
necessary to be accepted by others. Were all doing the same
dance, but think were in it alone because were moving to diferent
music.
The courage we need to develop is not the knight in shining armor
super duper confdence unfazed courage. Its the recogniton of
what we fear, and deciding that even with the tniest baby steps,
we move forward despite them. What you fear isnt the roadblock;
allowing the fear to keep you from moving is the real obstacle. FDR
said it during one of Americas lowest tmes, The only thing to fear
is fear itself.
Whenever I have issues or fnd myself feeling uneasy or hesitant,
I ask myself, What are you afraid of? Answering that queston
clarifes who I am, and its the frst step to overcoming that fear. In
most cases, what I fear is dramatcally worse than the reality of the
situaton.
As I go through these adventures being a public fgure and hear
every opinion across the spectrum, everything I ever feared people
would think of me, they already have. Yet here I am, stll breathing,
beard stll sof, rhymes only getng beter, learning lessons even
quicker. Ive seen people dig themselves out of holes a million tmes
worse than some of my created phobias.
21
No one is fearless, but the bravest people I know are those most
in tune with their fears and phobias, and have decided not to let
those get in the way of their happiness.
As always, this is going to require you to have a conversaton with
yourself to discover these fears. Identfying them will be the frst
step to conquering them.
22
The bravest people I know are
those most in tune with their
fears and phobias, and have
decided not to let those get in
the way of their happiness.
23
In the thickest New York accent you can imagine, one old lady says
to another, Lets have strawberry shortcake to celebrate another
day on Earth. When the cake arrives the lady asks the waitress,
Did you remember to take out the calories?
It was a Golden Girls moment (word to Sikh Knowledge), and it
also reminded me of the never-ending power we have to paint the
world we want to see.
Theres a lot of bullsh*t in the world. Ive spent the majority of my
artstc existence trying to shine a light on that bullsh*t. A result
of doing so, required me to dig deeper into issues, and myself, if I
ever wanted to have anything new to say, without sounding like a
(complete) hypocrite, with opinions on issues we all contribute to.
I learned a lot about how truth has no place in a world where
people only want to see two sides: their side and the other side.
The world is ten shades of grey, but thats not very convenient for
those who want to see in black and white, since thats how they
choose to paint the picture.
As humans, we seek afrmaton over informaton. In simpler
terms, we look for evidence to support what we already believe,
and subconsciously ignore the things that contradict that. This
isnt necessarily a bad thing. If we didnt have a device in our
brains to ignore what we thought irrelevant, wed be overloaded
with redunkoulous amounts of informaton that comes at us every
second of the day.
This can be a bit damaging if youre married to an idea, and the
repetton of informaton and people that validate that idea
5
golden girls
24
are all things you choose to expose yourself to (those are the
key ingredients to your comfort zone). On top of that, it can be
dramatcally worse if the view you have on the world, is that it is
nothing but sh*t. Simply put, if you think life sucks, life will suck;
and youll ignore your full fridge, running water, access to internet,
and ability to have leisure tme to even contemplate how much life
sucks.
Do you focus on the people that love you, or the ones that wont
return your calls? Do you share your problems or your joys with
people? Realize, every thought you have is a brushstroke on the
world you see. None of this negates the extreme issues the world
is facing, but lets not lose sight that many, if not most, of these
issues were always in existence. Even viewing these issues is an
opportunity for you to fnd some additonal grattude in the life you
have, and motvaton to spread some beauty, even if its on a local
level.
The only reason youre not good enough is because youre thinking
it. When I went to the Tim Burton exhibiton, the frst thing they
showed was a rejecton leter he received early in his career. He
didnt let that circumstance change the picture he was paintng.
The old lady came up with the idea of ordering the strawberry
shortcake afer hearing another table sing happy birthday for their
friend. She found inspiraton in their celebraton and found an
excuse to celebrate herself.
Make an excuse to be happy right now and start paintng with those
thoughts. Your life is art, a work in progress at that, and its only
complete when youre dead. Everyday is a new day to see it the
way you want.
25
Realize, every thought
you have is a brushstroke
on the world you see
26
Relatonships can be a deathtrap for dependencies.
Im not talking solely about romantc relatonships, Im talking the
whole shebang: professional, friends, creatve, family, etc.
Im not ant-relatonship, Im just pro-watch-out-for-developing-
dependencies-in-your-relatonship. When we put the key to our
happiness in the pocket of others, were now at their mercy. Not
all folks are looking to exploit the power theyve been granted, but
sh*t stll tends to happen.
The most important relatonship you have is with yourself, simple.
Putng the responsibility of your smiles on anyone else will ofen
lead to the opposite, and you have no one else to blame except
yourself. This ant-victm mentality isnt popular because people
dont enjoy the onus, but its probably the only way to ensure a
longstanding healthy ability to have meaningful relatonships.
Weve cheapened the word love to the point that its common for
someone to say they love you, and then no longer mean it a short
tme later. What is love really? Does a mother fall out of love with
her child? If the dynamics of any relatonship changes, what usually
causes it?
One of the answers is expectaton. The love we seek is generally
riddled in conditons, but the fairy tales make us feel that its
unconditonal. Respectng the fact that relatonships are based on
conditons may not be the most romantc, but it is the most realistc.
6
deathtrap for
dependencies
27
I encourage you to be independent, not because I want you to
be, but because you already are. Were born alone and die alone,
and again, though that lacks romance, ensuring you put your
relatonship with yourself frst, dramatcally enhances your ability
to have relatonships with others.
Dependencies arent healthy, whether it is to a substance, idea,
or another human being. In this sense, wantng less results in
having more. Again, Im not an idealist. In our daily lives we have
to depend on people for things to get done, but if we acknowledge
the dependencies early, it cushions the blow dramatcally if
expectatons arent met. It can also serve to motvate us to be
in a positon to further reduce the dependencies we can survive
without.
Im not advocatng a life of complete isolaton and simplicity. Ive
always had a life rich with people and complexity, but at the same
tme, I do fnd peace in simplifying and cleaning the cluter.
I also know if youre not happy with yourself, nothing can
compensate to fll that void.
28
The most important
relationship you have is
with yourself, simple.
29
I know everyone reading this is haunted by a memory of regret.
Some bone-headed moment that youd pay your lef arm to get
back; a mistake, which in hindsight, seemed so easy to spot, but
not at the tme.
Some of us will spend our days daydreaming of what life would
have been like, had we not made that mistake; oh, how much
beter everything would be.
Snap out of that sh*t.
You cant predict the future, not even in your imaginary what if
scenarios. When were not happy with our present, we can start
wishing away our future, by focusing on the past, or we can do
something about it NOW.
Regret is a burden we all hold, for whatever reason, and holding on
does nothing but weigh us down. Learn from the mistakes of your
past, thank them for occurring, and then gently push them into the
wind, and wave as they futer away.
No decision is ever absolutely great, or absolutely horrible, stop
thinking so extreme. Understand your past, dont waste tme
judging it. Understand your present, dont waste tme judging it.
Use what you learn from these understandings to help create the
future you want. This isnt easy, and I promise youll f*ck up some
more in the future, but be ready for that, and once it happens, start
digging for the jewels of wisdom that come from those foibles.
Folks can only love you for yesterday, but you can appreciate
7
We carry a lot
through our lives
30
yourself for your present. Take a super deep breath, and hold it.
Hold it a bit longer, then slowly breathe it out, and keep blowing
untl theres no air in your lungs. Congratulatons, you just pressed
reset.
Now move forward and create a life you want.
31
Regret is a burden we all hold,
for whatever reason, and
holding does nothing
but weigh us down.
32
The less you give a damn, the happier youll be. Create a life that
feels good on the inside, not one that simply looks good from the
outside.
We cant see other peoples struggles, pains, pressures, and
anxietes. We see the same front they put up that we do. Trying
to evaluate your life in comparison to others will always leave you
more depressed for that simple reason.
When we focus on creatng happiness from the outside then in,
well contnue to fail because were using other peoples measures
of success, and pretending theyre our own. What makes you feel
like a million bucks may involve a pair of ripped jeans and that t-shirt
with the holes in it. How you feel is more important than how you
look, and though I agree staying fresh can help the way you feel,
the best you thing you can wear is your confdence and happiness.
Dont care what others think untl youve taken your own thoughts
into consideraton. You cant predict what other people think, and
even if you could, its impossible to make everyone happy. The
world is full of diverse opinions, and some of those opinions are in
your favour, and some are not.
I dont have the ability to get to know all of you on a personal level,
but Im super confdent theres something unique about all of you
worth bringing to the forefront. Make your happiness worth more
than the opinions of others.
Give a damn about yourself frst, then those who give a damn about
you, and then see if you have any damns lef to give.
8
when less is more
33
Give a damn about yourself
frst, then those who give
a damn about you, and
then see if you have any
damns left to give.
34
Loving someone can sometmes feel like youre pouring everything
into a botomless pit.
You would give anything just to hear a splash at the end, just to
feel theyre aware of your eforts and energy because right now,
nothing feels good enough.
Maybe you can try harder, maybe youre not doing enough, maybe
youre not good enough, or maybe, just maybe:
YOURE LOVING THE WRONG PERSON.
Love is something you share because you have it, not something
you give desperately because you need it. The frst person on the
top of your love list should be (drum roll... the suspense is killing
me...) YOURSELF.
If someone isnt appreciatng the love you send their way, then
there needs to come a point that you wake up, get up, and walk
away; not to make them miss you, but so you can recapture your
self dignity and worth.
Ive said it numerous tmes, and Im going to say it again, if you dont
love yourself, you have no business seeking love from others. Other
people will exploit your need for love and afecton for their own
beneft, dont hold that against them, just stay away from them.
If these words are hitng home, dont pity yourself, love yourself,
and put yourself in the situaton you deserve to be in.
9
loving a bottomless
pit
35
Love is something you share
because you have it, not
something you give desperately
because you need it.
36
Your priorites are not revealed in your words, they are revealed in
your actons, and your actons are revealed by your schedule.
You can say something (or someone) is important to you, but if they
arent penciled in, youre lying to yourself.
Tomorrow is not a promise, not even kind of. If fear is holding you
back from doing what you want (or need) to be doing in your life
just realize that fear isnt going anywhere, and everyone who has
done something amazing has done it despite the fear, not in its
absence.
Untl science can do otherwise, were all ending our story with
death. Its really up to you how you use the days leading up to your
eventual demise. The thought of death scares some, and makes
others feel liberated. I like to remember, as long as theres breath
in my lungs I can create any life I wish to create (it wont be easy,
but nothing worth while is), and once the breath is gone, it doesnt
mater anyways.
Life is too short to be in any situaton you dont want to be in, and
it feels even shorter when youre with people you dont want to
be around. There arent any erasers to undo our past, but there
are fresh pages to write a new chapter. I have great friends that
mustered up the courage and strength to escape their comfort
zones and place themselves in a situaton they would much rather
be in. It took tme and it was a struggle, but they came out as beter
people with beter lives. You can do the same thing. It wont be
easy, but so what, is there really a point of building a life if it isnt
the life you want?
10
How we spend our days
becomes our life
37
I strongly encourage you to take risks; youre worth it. The fear isnt
going to go away, so respect that relatonship, and work with it,
around it, and despite it.
Let your actons do the talking from now on, and if something is
important to you let it show in your day-to-day movements.
38
Life is too short to be in
any situation you dont
want to be in, or to be
with or around people you
dont want to be around.
39
Tank you for reading the 10 Chapter Sampler
of UnLearn: 101 Simple Truths For A Better Life.
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