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LIFELINES
The Black Book of Proverbs
B R O A D WAY B O O K S
N e w Yo r k
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10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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3f c o n t e n t s
Foreword x i
Introduction x i i i
BIRTH 3 3
Origin 5
Pregnancy and Childbirth 6
Naming 7
C H I L D H O O D 13 3
Parents and Parenting 1 5
Children and Youth 1 9
A D O L E S C E N C E , I N I T I AT I O N , A N D
R I T E S O F PA S S A G E 27 3
Quiet, Silence, and Stillness 2 9
Identity and Individuality 3 0
Change and Adaptability 3 1
Education 3 3
3 vi 3
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C H A L L E N G E 67 3
Luck and Fortune 6 9
Fear 7 0
Abuse, Hatred, and Dislike 7 1
Enemies and Foes 7 3
Fools and Foolishness 7 4
Trouble and Adversity 7 6
Criticism and Complaint 7 7
Hypocrisy 7 8
Deceit and Betrayal 7 9
Gossip 8 1
Lies and Falsehood 8 2
Jealousy and Envy 8 3
Quarrels and Conflict 8 4
Anger 8 6
Forgiveness 8 7
Sadness and Sorrow 8 8
Power 9 0
Strength 9 1
Caution and Safety 9 2
Readiness, Planning, and Preparation 9 5
Priority and Focus 9 8
Moderation 1 0 0
Order and Process 1 0 1
Contents 3 vii 3
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E T H I C S A N D VA L U E S 119 3
God 1 2 1
Purpose and Destiny 1 2 3
Prayer, Faith, and Hope 1 2 3
Truth 1 2 4
Trust 1 2 6
Responsibility 1 2 6
Work and Productivity 1 2 8
Money and Wealth 1 3 3
Poverty 1 3 6
Debt 1 3 8
Evil and Shame 1 4 0
Greed and Theft 1 4 1
Pride and Vanity 1 4 3
Humility 1 4 4
Insight and Introspection 1 4 6
Discretion 1 4 8
Consequence, Cause, and Effect 1 5 0
Equality and Equity 1 5 4
Justice 1 5 6
Peace, Resolution, and Reconciliation 1 5 7
Loyalty 1 5 9
3 viii 3 C o n t e n t s
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Community 1 5 9
Unity and Cooperation 1 6 1
Help and Assistance 1 6 4
Character and Reputation 1 6 6
Patience, Perseverance, and Persistence 1 6 7
Respect and Reciprocity 1 7 0
Generosity, Giving, and Receiving 1 7 4
Kindness and Good Deeds 1 7 6
Goodness 1 7 7
Gratitude 1 7 8
Courage and Bravery 1 8 2
Authenticity 1 8 3
Joy and Happiness 1 8 4
E L D E R H O O D 189 3
Age, Elders, and Experience 1 9 3
Advice and Counsel 1 9 8
Knowledge 2 0 0
Usefulness 2 0 3
D E AT H A N D A F T E R L I F E 3 209
Death and Dying 2 1 1
Ancestors 2 1 5
Acknowledgments 2 1 7
Bibliography 2 2 3
Contents 3 ix 3
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who loves and scolds me, the children who tease and
teach me, the grandchildren who draw me into their
world, the friends and coworkers who invite me into
their lives, who cheer me and challenge me. Without
each of them I would not be me.
A proverb is only proverbial if it is true, is useful,
and can be readily called to mind and applied. This
compendium gathers the insights of the ages in helpful
categories that mirror the life cycle. From the stories
of their own experiences, the authors offer us illustra-
tions that bring the proverbs to life. We are shown how
proverbs may be used to chasten or to praise, to lead,
to teach, to guide, or to inspire. We come to recognize
that the insight offered in the words of a proverb may
offer comfort in times of grief or despair and sew
hope into happiness. For every season of life there is a
proverb or there are many. Every season of life has
been lived before. In the words of proverbs, we see the
footprints of those who have gone before us and, per-
haps, the shadows of those who will come behind.
Yvonne McCalla Sobers and Askhari Johnson
Hodari have offered us a rare treasure. They have cre-
ated for us a gathering of the elders to offer us wise
counsel. They have retained for us a precious strand of
the African story in this distillation of African wit and
wisdom.
3 xii 3 F o r e w o r d
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3 xiv 3 I n t r o d u c t i o n
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Introduction 3 xv 3
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Page 1
Birth
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I went to Ghana as a young bride in 1960. As the first
year passed, I saw the eyes of my Ga community
grow more questioning because my stomach remained
flat. What was I waiting for? Surely I had to know the
South African proverb that “to give birth is to
lengthen one’s knees.”
When my pregnancy arrived, it did not remain un-
noticed for long. “A fire and a pregnancy cannot be
kept secret” (Rwanda). Even before my first medical
checkup, I seemed to be outgrowing my clothes. I
could no longer tolerate the smell of smoked fish in
the delicious groundnut stews my Ga friends gave me,
but I had to have kelewele (fried plantains) at meals and
between meals.
My Ga community now surprised me with their at-
tention. They had called me oboruni (literally “one
from over the horizon”), the same term used for
whites. They had considered me an outsider because I
could produce no memory of a village, a language, or
a family name to affirm my identity as African. With
my pregnancy evident, I felt embraced by aunts and
uncles, sisters and brothers everywhere. Market ven-
dors gave their blessings along with their best yams
(and sometimes their best prices as well).
When I was six months pregnant, tests showed I was
Birth 3 33
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3 43 LIFELINES
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ab3ef ORIGIN
Birth 3 53
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Let a female develop her breast; one day, she must give it
to her child. —Nigeria (Igbo)
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ab3ef NAMING
Birth 3 73
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The stream may dry up, but the watercourse retains its
name. —Benin, Nigeria, Togo (Yoruba)
It is not what you are called, but what you answer to.
—Africa
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