Boyfriends Are Not For Girls

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by PranksterYe0llie
18 subscribers | 148 views | Updated May 14, 2014 | Created May 13, 2014
Tags realityshow exo hunhan baekyeol kaisoo xiuchen
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Characters
All 12 EXO Members
Description
Our viewer ratings for that reality show are rock bottom again.
Isnt that a given? Teen girls are more into programs like We Got Married and idols reality shows.
We should bring out a much more fresh idea rather than a group of flower boys trying to capture a girls
heart. It so damn lame these days.
I think the light bulb in my head just lighted up.
You had a light bulb in your head?
Shut up, let me tell you my ideas for the new reality show.
Sowe will be gathering some mens, all straight, of course and they would all live together. The objective of
the show is to detect the gay ones out of all the straight ones.
Butthere are no gays!
Exactly, but the viewers wont know anything about that. Even the contestants didnt know. We would
initiate some challenges for them to detect the gay ones. At the end of each challenge, there will be an
elimination voted by the viewers online. How about that?
I thinkits a genius idea! We can have them fight for some cash huh?
Of course.
This show is going to be a hit.
I hope soI really hope so.


Foreword
Twelve men, all straight will live together for three months
The point of the show?
Survive every eliminations and be the last man standing.
The trick of the show?
Silently seduce the straights so that theyll act like a gay.

May the straights remain straight until the end.









Introduction
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1 Introduction

Welcome, contestants to your new home-
Only for three months. a voice suddenly cut in the crews line. Eleven heads turned to look at the guy with
colourful hair who was calmly tapping his feet and a lollipop was in his mouth. The crew awkwardly cleared
his throat and started again.
Yeah, like that parrot guy said, only for three months. We provided telephones inside each room and the
challenges would be informed through it. Ummmwhat else? Oh, yeahcameras are everywhere
sowhatever. Suit yourselves. the crew ended his explanation and the others looked relieved.
Can we enter the damn house now? the parrot guy asked flatly, once again making the others looked at him.
The eldest in this group should be in charge of these. the crew tossed a bunch of key towards the contestants.
Ironically, everyone stepped aside making the keys dropped on the floor just like that. The crew shrugged as he
turned his back on the small crowd back to the van.
Uhhhwhos the eldest among us? a boy with his large doe eyes asked.
Silence
Ill take this for now, okay? the doe eyed boy ended up saying. The door swung open and the crowd entered
without any further words.
They gathered around at the living room and the atmosphere became somewhat noisy.
At one side, the parrot guy and a guy mistakenly looked like a girl was arguing over something.
I came here first.
No uhIm faster.
I dont care! I want to sit at that single sofa!
And you happen to fight with me over this one instead of sitting at that vacant one?
This one looked much more tempting!
At another side, two tall giants were busy comparing their heights.
Hey, I think youre a bit shorter than me. the blond one said.
Oh hoyoure totally wrong! Im taller! the black haired exclaimed.
In one word to describe the situation at that time, it was fucking-noisy-damn-loud. Youre questioning if that
was even one word? Oh ho hoI dont care
Guys? I think we should be introducing ourselves right now. a boy that somewhat looked like he just
graduated from a prestigious college said, but was totally ignored by the others.
Ummmguys? Did you even hear me? he said again, this time, desperately stepping on the sofa to gain
attention.
I heard you. My name is Lay. the deep dimpled boy said as he held out a hand.
Thank God, theres at least one person to hear me! Im Suho. he took the others hand.
At the other corner, someone was fightingwith himselffeat a cockroach.
Dont come near me! he shrieked.
I know wushu! Dont you even dare to move!
I SAID DONT MOVE YOU FUCKING LITTLE COCKROACH!! his shout echoed and it effectively
made the other eleven shut up.
You looked so lonely, fighting with a cockroach. a boy that somewhat looked between a camel and a
dinosaur said.
Im Tao and I hate cockroaches. Dare to touch me and Ill wushu your ass until you cant fuck anyone. he
suddenly introduced himself and the others went to silent mode at his violent threats.
I SAID DONT COME NEAR ME YOU FUCKING DAMMIT LITTLE BROWN THING!! he shrieked
once again and ran towards the crowd, randomly hiding behind the blond giant.
Me next, my name is Xiumin and I love eating.
Me me! ImuhhhIm what?
Im Luhan and youre Lay, idiot! How could you forget your own name?
It wasnt my fault that I was born with the name Zhang Yixing and then it suddenly changed!
People called me D.O.
Dyo?
Oryou can call me Kyungsoo.
Im Byun freaking fabulous Baekhyun.
Freaking fabulous my butt!
More like freaking uncivilized!
Im Kris.
I have a question-
No, I did not purposely grow my eyebrows so that it looked like Angry Birds.
Awww shit!
Im Jongin but sometimes Im Jongout so you can pull me in or push me out-
Or throw you through the windows-
Or chop your body into pieces.
Geez, you guys are scary! You can call me Kai, in short.
Introducing the happy virus Park Chanyeol!
I hate you!
What the heck, Bacon? We just knew each other since likethree minutes ago?
Or maybe more-
Or less-
Or exactly three minutes.
Guys
Who would know?
Who would even count?
Guys?
What is it, Suho?
Yeah, what is it grandpa?
Butbut youre a hyung to me!
Just get to your point, can you?
Okaywe left that parrot guy in the introduction.
Now that we spoke about himwhere is he?
Reporter Luhan, now reporting live from the crime scene-
Xiu to the Min is here. How was the situation there, reporter?
Ohhhthe grandpa just realized that a certain unimportant cotton-candy-haired boy just disappeared.
Are there any witnesses? Any suspects?
Witness was not found. The main suspectit was probably the room with fluffy beds.
Hey, where did they all go?
Dont you guys hear about it? The last to grab a room would be placed in a non-aircond room.
WHATTTT????
Xiu to the Min reported here, reporter Luhan collapsed at the crime scene! I repeat, reporter Luhan collapsed
at the crime scene!
Someone call the doctor~


















First Morning
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2 First Morning

D.O woke up early that morning. He sat on his fluffy bed and yawned. His eyes scanned Kai, his roommate
who was comfortably snuggling inside his comforter (you got to believe that its pink) that he probably
brought from home.
It was seven oclock in the morning and the house was so silent. He went out of the room, dragging his feet.
He walked towards the living room and his doe eyes scanned around looking for the TV remote control.
I hope I didnt miss Pororo today. he mumbled as he sat on the sofa. It was Sunday and even though D.O
almost went insane last night with a bunch of freaks, it didnt stop him from doing his Sunday routine,
watching cartoons.
A scary moaning voice was heard somewhere near the kitchen. D.Os eyes widened in alert. He reluctantly
walked towards the kitchen and his jaw dropped seeing that unexpected scene.
What the fuck are these things doing here? D.O cussed. Currently on the floor were two sleeping corpse
hugging the dining tables leg each one, humming sexily as if theyre having a hot sex on the bed.
Luhan hyung? Lay hyung? Wake up, you might hurt your back sleeping like that. D.O said as he gently (I
mean violently) shaking the older hyungs.
Iits freezingLay ahhhturn off the air conds Luhan started to mumble nonsense.
Hyung! Just wake up now! D.O snapped.
So coldare we sleeping on the air cond instead of under it? Lay muttered and Luhan carved an insane
smile on his face.
Whatever D.O got up from the floor and walked silently towards the living room. The two hyungs
sneakily opened their eyes and looked at D.Os back view.
Are we being too obvious, Lay? Luhan asked and Lay just shrugged innocently.
I just want an air cond in my room Lay sobbed dramatically.
Me? I just wanna lay in my bed~ Luhan sang but Lay suddenly looked at him with his widened eyes.
I cant believe that you said that! he shrieked and Luhan blinked countless times at him. Lay got up from the
floor while he muttered pervert countless times.
What sin have I done? Im just singing Bruno Marss song. Luhan said as he yawned and dozed off to sleep
on the floor again.
D.O chuckled when he landed on the fluffy sofa. Geez, he couldnt believe that the hyungs could actually think
of that kind of cheap tactic to make him give up his air conditioned room. That give-me-sympathy trick was
simply so outdated.
Little did he know that as soon as the other freaks woke up, he wont be in peace anymore.
So, to describe a bit about their house, when you first entered the house, you will first see the living room.
From the living room, if you looked right, youll see the kitchen and the laundry room right next to it.
Look to the left and theres the contestants (I man freaks) room. There are six rooms and each door was
opposite each other. At the very end of the rooms, theres a bathroom.
Yes, its ONE bathroom for twelve people.
Blame on the houses contractors okay?
Chaos that morning started with a loud shout coming from one of the rooms. Cursing words were heard and
girly things like I hate you was blurted out too. After a while, Tao came out of the room and he slammed the
door hard.
He ran towards the bathroom and he slammed the door, childishly showing how much he was pissed off.
Sehun went out calmly after a while, while his hand held something, furiously knocking the bathrooms locked
door.
You said you know wushu! Why would you be scared of this little thing? Sehun asked as he laughed evilly.
He bent down and let that little brown thing in his hand went inside.
YOU PUT THAT FUCKING THING ON MY FACE!!! AND YES, I KNOW WUSHU!! Tao shouted in the
bathroom and he practically woke everyone up. Well, almost everyone. Suho went out of his room but instead
of checking on Tao, he walked directly towards the kitchen.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS FUCKING BROWN THING DOING INSIDE THE BATHROOM!!! Tao
shouted again and Sehun shrugged before he went back to his room that he shared with Tao.
Chen also woke up and he sat on his bed. He looked at Xiumin who was calmly sleeping without any
movements, only his lips parted a bit and his breaths escaped steadily.
I cant believe that youre not even bothered by that noise. he mumbled as he looked at him again, finally
realized that he looked a bit like a hamster with that cute lips and also-
Holy crap! He looked like Sohee from Wondergirls! Chen gaped dramatically.
Just when Tao finally calmed down, (he killed the cockroach with hot water) the second chaos started.
WHY THE HELL DID YOU WENT OUT OF YOUR ROOM NAKED??? Tao shrieked right after he went
out of the bathroom and he bumped into Kai.
Excuse me? Im not naked, okay? This is named as birthday suit. Dont you ever heard of it? Kai said
casually before he slammed the bathrooms door on Taos face.
I think my voice box will be damaged by the time I get out of this freaking house. Tao mumbled. He went
towards D.O at the living room and whined about Sehun to him.
I am the hyungyetyet that parrot hairhe Tao sniffled and he burst into tears.
Its okay Tao yah. Maybe its just his way to make new friends. D.O said carelessly while his eyes were
glued on the screen.
ITS JUST HIS WAY TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS YOU SAY???? Tao shrieked uncontrollably and D.O
rolled his eyes.
Fine, hes going a bit overboard. he said to ease the panda boy.
The third chaos started right after the second one.
WHY ARE YOU HOLDING A FUCKING RAZOR NEAR MY PRECIOUS EYEBROWS??? it was Kris
in another room and he was obviously freaked out because it was actually that innocent looking guy, Lay.
Well, just wondering if you would look like a unicorn without that thick eyebrows. he said before he calmly
went out of the room, leaving Kris traumatic enough of him.
WHY WOULD I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING UNICORN AFTER I SHAVED MY EYEBROWS???? Kris
went out of the room and he acted calm as if he did not just shriek like a high school girl because of Lays
super stupid idea.
D.O went to the kitchen and took the apron that was hung at the wall. Chen entered the kitchen too and he
rolled his long sleeves.
Youre cooking? he asked D.O and he didnt even need an answer when he saw him expertly handling the
stove. Chen shrugged as he moved towards the fridge, expecting consumable things would be inside. D.O
didnt even look at him but he knew what Chen intended to do.
If I were you, I would repent from all my sins before opening that. he said casually as he was chopping some
carrots on the chopping board. Chen raised an eyebrow and waited for explanation, but D.O went to silent
mode.
I am pretty sure that everything inside is just fine yesterd- HOLY SHITT!! Chen cursed the moment he
opened the fridge. The fridge was so gross and everything inside was upside down.
The ice creams that were supposed to be placed inside the ice box melted in the vegetable box. The vegetables
and even some eggs were frozen in the ice box. Some sauce and mayonnaise stained the fridges door.
Told ya, you would regret it. D.O said as he reached out for the grocery bag for some eggs and pancake mix.
He ordered everything from the crew this morning and thanks to him, they didnt have to suffer from empty
stomach.
I thought you just said that I would repent on my sins? Chen mumbled before he grabbed an apron too.
What happened to the fridge? I thought it was full of foods when we entered the house yesterday. Chen
asked as he washed his hands at the sink. D.O shook his head in dismay.
We happen to live with a bunch of hyenas feat a pandaand also a hamsteran alpaca too. Or he could be a
koala at times?
At the living room, Tao, Kris, Suho, Lay, Xiumin and Luhan was silently watching a morning drama.
Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Kai and Sehun were nowhere to be seen.
Chanyeol was sleeping with his stomach on the bed. He sniffled when he felt something brushed against his
nose. He giggled when he felt someone blowing in his ears.
Thats it, Yoda! Wake up now! the shortie finally flicked the giants ears in frustration. Chanyeol winced as
he got up to find Baekhyun on his bed.
Ohh its you Bacon! Hiiiii~ nice to meet you. he waved lively at the older.
Its not nice for me to meet you. And Im not Bacon! Even though newly cooked bacon was hot, and Im
obviously hot too, it doesnt make me one. the older complained but the younger just yawned.
I want to sleep more~
No you cant! Now get up on that non-sexy butt and lets go out. Baekhyun said but the youngers head
already fell on his shoulders.
What theyou fell asleep in just a few milliseconds?? Baekhyun froze when he felt the younger snuggled
nearer.
Breakfast everyone! someone shouted outside and Baekhyun poked Chanyeols head off his shoulders with
his fingers.
***
Can we change our roommate? I really hate that cotton candy hair. Tao whined as he pointed at the said
person who was calmly popping a lollipop in his mouth.
Hey, you were the one that ran towards the room that I chose remember? he said calmly and Tao seemed like
he was at the verge of crying.
Im totally fine with my roommate. Xiumin said as he nudged Chens arms. Chen grinned at him proudly.
Me too! Kai said and he looked at D.O hoping that he would say the same thing too.
Im flattered. he said that instead. Kai pouted at that.
Okay, it seems like theres no further problems with the others. Tao yah, you need to bear that guy in the
mean time. Oh, Sehun? Please respect your hyung. Luhan said as his eyes glared at the maknae, hoping that
he would remember them fighting over the sofa yesterday.
How did you know my family name? the boy blurted out that question, making Luhan raised an eyebrow in
amusement.
What?
You just said Oh Sehun and thats exactly my full name. Wow, justwow! he said monotonously before he
went to his room and Luhan seemed like he wanted to bang that cotton candy hair at a certain windows until it
broke into pieces.
Dont mind him, Luerrrwhat? Lay scratched his head.
Its Luhan goddammit! Why am I stuck here with this retarded-since-born child? Luhan whined and the
others gave him a sympathy look, as if its much of a help.
I think we should prepare ourselves, the crews would call any minute from now to tell us about our first
challenge. Suho said and for the first time since he entered the house, he was not ignored.
Hes right, I think we should all enter the room now. Xiumin said and the crowd move from the living room
(and Taos whining) to their respective room.

Good morning, contestants. As you all know, we would be giving you your first challenge for today but we
figured that you guys should get to know each other more. So, we decided to give you guys this one simple
mission.
Each contestant would be given a name as their target and he need to seduce that target in secret, without him
noticing or realizing anything. This is some sort of a guessing game as each one of you needs to guess whos
the one targeting you and if you got that right, you will win an immunity ticket that would definitely help you
later. Good luck guys!