Final Portfolio Check-off

This document must be included in your final portfolio at the beginning of your Self-
Assessment. All items must be checked (just put an X on the line) and accounted for; if any are
missing I will count your portfolio as incomplete and you will fail the course. Please carefully
work through this list. Note that if you missed the peer feedback on the Researched Argument
or Open Genre you must have proof of peer review outside of class or take it to the Writing
Center (they will give you a signed card). If you did not have your Researched Argument
reviewed by me, I will not grade your Final Portfolio.
My Final Portfolio Includes 2 or the following 3 documents:
_x__Memoir final draft: revised according to peer review and teacher feedback OR
_x__Review final draft: revised according to peer review and teacher feedback OR
___Open Genre Project including Genre Analysis: revised according to peer feedback
And all of these:
_x__Researched Argument: revised according to peer review and teacher feedback
__x_Self-Assessment: Discusses revisions including the most recent & deals with any feedback
from peers or instructor which was not implemented. SA will not be accepted if it is merely a
copy of your midterm portfolio self-assessment.
__x_I have posted my Final Portfolio in Canvas AND on my eportfolio; also, I have associated my
eportfolio with MyPage.

_____________Jameson Stanfield_______________________Sign (print your name)






Self Assessment

Well starting with the memoir, I can honestly say I was really pleased with my final
product. This is honestly not something I can ever say about my writing. I was forced to bend,
stretch, and use my brain in new ways in order to write the memoir. For example, I was forced to
find creative ways to express feelings by showing without telling as in this line, Heavy chains,
the weight compounding in my mind, I cant escape the gravity of it. We also discussed
different ways of communicating why I had such a painful experience recalling the baby crying.
After a few revisions it now reads, Her one year old voice seemingly still rings in my ears.
Suffering third degree burns over various places on her young malnourished body, the pain had
to have been unbearable. Her helpless cries from the pain are not what haunt me the most, but
rather the knowledge that her suffering went unheeded by her father simply because she was
female. I wanted several parts of the piece to remain unanswered, such as where or why I was
where I was. I also wanted to strictly only divulge the emotions of the negative feelings
experienced by me to help contrast the good feelings at the end of the piece. I tried to write with
more background information and I found that the emotion was lost in the details rather than the
details found in the emotion.
The review was also a little more difficult than any writing I was used to because
I had to find the correct voice to use for my desired target audience. I specifically wanted to
write a review for a particular fitness group that is often plagued by poor reviews. It is not that
the reviews themselves are bad but rather, the author is not able to correctly review the product
based on the lack of ethos or logos. I attempted to establish this proper credibility with my target
audience of the get go: First off lets get some facts straight. I am a veteran user of the old
jacked 3d and 1.M.R. generation before they turned them into boy scout fruit punch formulas.
The target audience would immediately recognize that I am from the same group they are
suffering from the same problems with this type of supplement and have found a legitimate
solution or rather a good product to try and then the rest of the review I show why. I say show
because after several revisions based on feedback that I received, the need to include some
information contrasting my review versus other similar products, which I eventually included:
Mr.Hyde transforms you from just a regular gym rat into a mythological beast from science
fiction with a whooping angry Viking dose of 300mg per serving of caffeine anhydrous. Couple
that with a jab of 50 mg of caffeine citrate and a final right hook of 69mg dicaffeine malate and
what you are left with is 419mg per serving Mike Tyson knockout of energy! Compare the top 5
current preworkout to Mr.Hyde.
Cellucor C4-135mg
Jacked3D-125mg
Bpi 1.M.R.- 300mg
BSN N.O. Explode 2.0-225mg
Gaspari Nutrition SuperDrive- 250mg
I also tried to have fun with my descriptions to help keep the reader entertained. Who wants to
just compare numbers when you could be thinking of funny comparisons?
Lastly the researched argument was a type of writing piece I was more familiar with.
However, I still had lots of growth experience. The first signifigant learning experience was
connecting my claim to the overall bigger claim. I think this was more successfully done in my
last draft: Should the media use propaganda to skew the facts of an event, in order to advance a
hidden agenda? The use of mass media to distort the truth in America has a very early start in the
history of our country. The printing press was turned into a weapon immediately following an
incident on March 5
th
1770; this would forever be known as The Boston Massacre. The stage is
now set for my claim that, Contrary to popular belief, on March 5
th
1770, British troops were
violently and deliberately attacked by Boston citizens and were forced to fire their weapons in
self defense, however the Boston gazette falsely reported the events as a Massacre for political
gain. By tying together at the beginning of the piece the significance between the media
propaganda and the Boston Massacre, I am able to enter the conversation about media in todays
world.
One of the biggest parts of the feedback I received was circling back to the larger claim
throughout the piece. This was tough to be able to find an effective way to do this and still make
my main claim about the Boston Massacre. Here was one example of how I tried to implement
this, The Boston Gazette needed to be able to establish the soldiers in a negative light regardless
of the truth of the events in order to gain support. It is most likely that Mr. Atwood is a fictitious
person or his account is made up. This leaves the question for us today concerning our own
media, What other facts does our media lie about to get us to support hidden agendas? After
examining the piece of evidence I concluded by reiterating my claim and then tying it back into
the bigger conversation.
I also received feedback to change the following line because I added my own
interpretation of the source rather than show the interpretation: According to the newspaper, the
crowd then began to innocently only throw snowballs. I said innocently, because when I read
the actual newspaper clip I injected my own feelings because the newspaper tried to make it
seem like the citizens only threw snowballs and that the soldiers reacted violently was to help
generate hatred for the soldiers. So I removed innocently and allowed for the quotes showing that
more than snowballs were thrown to help make my argument against the newspaper.
I tried several ways to wrap up my conclusion and based on the feeback I received about
tying both my claim to the larger claim I ended up with some better lines like this: Although the
colonies were successful at created a free nation, their use of propaganda raises some serious
concerns for our day like going to war over reported weapons of mass destruction. I sum it up in
the last lines: This is the information age and in order for us to maintain our freedom we must be
able to discern the truth from hidden agendas; facts from opinions. The media should be a
servant of the people and not a tool to manipulate the people. In order for us to remain a free
representational democracy, we must be able to make informed decisions about our democracy
based on information free from propaganda.
Overall I have learned a lot this semester. I have struggled to significantly show and not
tell and I feel like I was able to do that. I faced difficulties in targeting a desired audience. I
worked through the piece and was able to successfully implement ethos and logos and five a
dynamic review for a specific audience. I have tried to construct and argument with sentences
that deal with tying together my claim to a larger claim. Lastly I have struggled and have
implemented ways to deal with both teacher and peer reviewed feedback. There is much more to
learn in the future but overall I am satisfied with the progress I made in being able to rhetorically
analyze my writing and construct pieces.






















Hope Within a Blue Headdress
The feelings rush in quick, just as a summer monsoon rapidly chokes out the sunshine
with its dark ominous clouds seemingly out of nowhere. These are not your normal melancholy
feelings of sadness. I soon feel like an unsuspecting insect who wanders to close to a single
spiders thread, frantically trying to free myself and within a matter of seconds am overcome
completely by the web and helplessly mentally immobilized. According to the Nation Institute
for Mental Health, most people experience symptoms of depression towards their own life and
own personal situation. This isnt a loss of interest or hopelessness in my own life, no, this is
different. This is a loss of hope in humanity itself; loss of hope in the very fabric that makes up
our mentally constructed view of reality.
These feelings were acquired over time from experiences in a land far away from the
glittering land of opportunity and life in the pursuit of liberty and happiness, far away from the
daily thoughts of most peoples minds. My naive western mind couldnt even comprehend the
suffering that I would one day witness even if you had tried to warn me before hand. If the
majority of people understood the reality of the suffering there, I think it would disrupt our way
of life and we cant have that, so an emotionally void, semi factual perception is put on the news
satisfying the masses.
According to the television, we did a good job made a difference and won so now at the
end of the year we are triumphantly going home. I wince under the strain of a particular memory
tied to these feelings. I still can hear her sharp bleating cries. Her one year old voice seemingly
still rings in my ears. Suffering third degree burns over various places on her young
malnourished body, the pain had to have been unbearable. Her helpless cries from the pain are
not what haunt me the most, but rather the knowledge that her suffering went unheeded by her
father simply because she was female. I remember how grateful I was that I had blacked out
sunglasses, because I was fighting back the tears. Tears because my naive western mind had
right and wrong confidently and clearly figured out, but here, right and wrong dont neatly fit
into my mold of correct and incorrect ideologies. Reality here is different. Regardless of what the
news says, nothing really has changed and that fact alone is the heaviest chain to shoulder.
Heavy chains, the weight compounding in my mind, I cant escape the gravity of it.
Quickly, faster I need to relive the moment when I saw her, I know what to do; I have been
through this before. I race to find her in my mind; it was a moment just like this one, when the
world seemed so sad, so dark so overwhelmingly evil that I wondered what was the point. So
many people dying, so much violence, so many lives disrupted and destroyed. How could any
good ever come of this place? Nothing but barren sand as far as the eye could see with the
exception of the sad tan worn down mud houses. No power, no running water, no music, no
laughter, no schools, no stores, no purpose for living except to live to survive: there is no hope.
There she is, her bright blue headdress still gives a breath of life into my quickly
suffocating mental state of humanity. Only about 10, she was terrified but utterly driven by
curiosity. She timidly approached me, the fear on her face gripped her frame but I smiled the
biggest smile that I could muster in a pathetic attempt to make me look friendlier under my gear
of violence and death. I will never forget the look on her face when she made eye contact with
me as I held out not one, but an entire handful of candy just for her. Her face lit up brighter than
her sapphire headdress and rose pink dress. For a moment, her hand outstretched to mine, I felt
that I given her the greatest joy of her lifetime. She will never know in that same moment, she
gave me back hope in humanity. I realized that I had a choice; she showed me that one simple,
kind and thoughtful act from one human to another can make the difference between hope and
despair. Her smiled showed me how to break free of the chains, to see through the misery, and to
find the ray hope that rides on my own decision to choose kindness rather than surrender to
despair. We cant change the evil of the world, but we can chose to be kind and hold out a
handful of hope to everyone we meet.






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from science fiction with a whooping angry Viking dose of 300mg per serving of caffeine
anhydrous. Couple that with a jab of 50 mg of caffeine citrate and a final right hook of 69mg
dicaffeine malate and what you are left with is 419mg per serving Mike Tyson knockout of
energy! Compare the top 5 current preworkout to Mr.Hyde.
Cellucor C4-135mg
Jacked3D-125mg
Bpi 1.M.R.- 300mg
BSN N.O. Explode 2.0-225mg
Gaspari Nutrition SuperDrive- 250mg
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As with any supplement, following the manufactures recommended dosage is extremely
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strictly states only one serving a day period. Taking more than 500 mg a day of caffeine can be
dangerous. I always research each and every single ingredient in any supplement and make the
conscious decision on whether or not I want to put a particular product in my body and I highly
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The Boston Massacre: Truth Massacred By The Media

Should the media use propaganda to skew the facts of an event, in order to advance a
hidden agenda? The use of mass media to distort the truth in America has a very early start in the
history of our country. The printing press was turned into a weapon immediately following an
incident on March 5
th
1770; this would forever be known as The Boston Massacre. As a result of
the propaganda printed by newspapers, generations of Americans have been socialized to see the
Boston Massacre from a skewed perspective. Some would argue that this hidden agenda was
absolutely vital to the cause of liberty. They argue the deception was necessary for gathering
support against the British Crown. This support eventually helped to the creation of the United
States of America. The effects of the media propaganda of the time were so effective, that to this
day most Americans still do not fully understand the truth. Contrary to popular belief, on March
5
th
1770, British troops were violently and deliberately attacked by Boston citizens and were
forced to fire their weapons in self defense, however the Boston gazette falsely reported the
events as a Massacre for political gain. Through examining eyewitness accounts of the actual
events of March 5
th
1770, and crossing them with accounts published by the Boston Gazette, one
can clearly see the truth and recognize the propaganda that helped turn 13 British colonies into
the United States of America.
Its important in order to understand a historical event such as the Boston
Massacre, one must understand some of the facts and course of actions of the parties involved
leading up to the event itself. By simply looking at just the event, one does not have the frame of
reference needed to fully understand the significance of the facts. There are several key historical
events and decisions that lead to the so called Boston Massacre in 1770. The American
colonists were weary of being treated as second class British citizens following the French and
Indian war which lasted from 1754 to 1763. The colonists hated a series of new tax laws aimed
at both going back on British reassurances and at subduing colonial arrogance from 1764 to
1767. Lastly, the colonists were outraged by British regulars sent to the colonies to maintain
public order as if the colonies were an occupied enemy nation.
When the French and Indian war began, the British appointed Lord Loudoun to take
command of the American theater. Lord Loudoun tried to control the colonial soldiers with an
iron fist and regarded the appointed officers as inferior. Disrespect slowly grew between the
British troops and the colonial militias. The British government under the new leadership of
William Pitt, realized the importance of colonial support and replaced Lord Loudoun and
promised to respect the colonial militias and most importantly, promised that Britain would pay
for the financial cost of the war (Davidson, DeLay, Heyrman, Lytle & Stoff, 2011 p.137). The
British soldiers sent to defend the colonies, widely showed contempt for the colonists way of
life. Soon this attitude spread and became reflected in British legislative policy via several
political measures.
At the end of the French and Indian war, Great Britain found itself heavily in debt.
Topping the financial plight of the British legislatures, the government faced the burden of
maintaining troops on the North American continent initially reserved for security in the event of
an Indian uprising. In order to help raise much needed revenue to alleviate the debt crisis, the
British went back on their word and passed a series of legislative acts aimed at helping pay for
the cost of the war. Parliament levied on the colonists, The Sugar Act, The Currency Act, and
The Stamp Act. This greatly upset the Americans, not necessarily because they were being
forced to pay more in taxes, but simply because the British government taxed them without
allowing them to have any say in the legislature about it. Hence the famous colonial chant, No
taxation, without representation.
If the blatant disregard for colonial rights and the lack of integrity by the British
government was not enough, Parliament passed the Quartering Act in 1765. The Quartering Act
required the colonists to house and quarter all of the Crown troops stationed in the colonies.
These troops were initially there to protect the colonists from the outside threats, but by 1765
they were the Crowns armed enforces of the new legislative measures. These troops became the
focal point of all the colonial aggression and resentment towards the Crown in London. This was
especially true in the political hot spot of Boston.
The troops stationed in the colonies often worked second jobs as laborers earning extra
money. Because the British troops could work for less money, they often took jobs away from
lower class colonial citizens. This further sharpened colonial hatred towards the British soldiers
and often brawls would erupt between soldiers and the colonists. Boston witnessed one such
altercation begin on the evening of March 5
th
1770 which resulted in 5 deaths and 6 others being
wounded.
First lets examine what was reported in the Boston Gazette seven days following the
Boston Massacre. The newspaper begins by stating that Edward Archbald and William
Merchant simply walked down an alley minding their own business when they encountered a
pair of supposedly intimidating British soldiers. One of the soldiers was reportedly hitting a wall
with his sword and the other standing with a club. For no reason apparently the soldier with the
sword attacks Archbald and a small brawl ensues between Merchant and the soldier with the
sword. The second soldier runs back to the barracks and fetches two more soldiers apparently
armed with tongs and another club and the fight escalates until more people begin to gather.
Soon there are 12 soldiers present and a crowd gathering. As the crowd grew and violence
seemed imminent, one Samuel Atwood was quoted in the paper to have asked the soldiers,
If they intended to murder people? They answered Yes, by G-d, root and branch! With
that one of them struck Mr. Atwood with a club which was repeated by another; and being
unarmed, he turned to go off and received a wound on the left shoulder which reached the bone
and gave him much pain (Boston Massacre Historical Society, n.d.).
The testimony of Samuel Atwood cannot be corroborated. Throughout the entire trial testimonies
and all the other preserved eye witness accounts there is no recounting of this story or even a
mention of Samuel Atwood. One might even question if a Samuel Atwood even existed at all.
The Boston Gazette needed to be able to establish the soldiers in a negative light regardless of
the truth of the events in order to gain support. It is most likely that Mr. Atwood is a fictitious
person or his account is made up. This leaves the question for us today, What other facts does
our media today lie about to get us to support hidden agendas?

Now lets examine a key eye witness testimony of what actually happened. This
testimony was given during the trial following the violence. One Edward Garrish is purportedly
the actual youth who started the altercation. He claims he called out to the sentry of the customs
house on Kings Street that his master had not been paid by an officer inside the house. A minor
exchange of disrespect ensued and the soldier ultimately knocked Garrish to the ground with the
butt of his rifle. His friend then insulted the soldier by saying, My fellow Apprentice and a
young man came up to the Sentinel and called him Bloody back.(Wheeler & Becker, 2011 p.
90). Soon after, a large crowd began to gather taunting the sentry. There is no mention in all of
the trial accounts and eyewitness accounts of any altercation between anyone named Archbald or
Merchant. No other fight or brawl was present prior to this dispute between Garrish and the
Sentry named Private Hugh White. The beginning of the story in the newspaper is completely
false. This erroneous reporting is simply written intentionally to deceive the reader into viewing
the soldiers negatively.
Next The Boston Gazette article then writes that as the crowd grows, Captain Preston
shows up with reinforcements to aide Private White. According to the newspaper, the crowd then
began to only throw snowballs, On this, the Captain commanded them to fire; and more snow
balls coming, he again said, damn you, fire, be the consequence what it will! (Boston Massacre
Historical Society, n.d.). This is completely contrary to the truth delivered in court. Most of the
testimonies show that the soldiers endured much greater danger than a few snowballs. Richard
Palmes testified he was the man who struck the first soldier to fire to the ground. He states that
the soldier only fired after being struck heavily by a piece of ice. Palmes also makes it perfectly
clear in his testimony that he asked Captain Preston prior to the shots being fired if he had any
intention on ordering the soldiers to discharge their weapons which Preston clearly replied, by
no means.( Danver, 2011 p.167). Most accounts clearly state that Captain Preston did not give
the order to fire but rather told his men to stop firing after one of the soldiers panicked and
discharged his weapon after being pelted with snow, rocks, ice, coal, then he was brutally struck
to the ground by a club. A slave named Andrew gave the following account,
Yes, I saw two or three of them hit. One struck a grenadier on the hat. And the people
who were right before them had sticks, and as the soldiers were pushing their guns back and
forth, they struck their guns, and one hit a grenadier on the fingers. (Kutler, 2003 p.131).
Andrew then goes on to explain that a stout man with a big stick, tried to hit Captain Preston.
After failing to make good contact on Preston, the man turned and struck the grenadier closest to
Preston and knocked him so hard over his head he dropped his firearm and fell to the ground.
The large man then tried to wrestle the gun away from the guard and cried, Kill the dogs!
Knock them over! (Kutler, 2003 p.131). Before the man could get control of the weapon, the
soldier fearing for his life, fired his musket into the oncoming mob. This is also verified by,
William Sawyer,
The people kept huzzaing. Damn em. Daring em to fire. Threw snow balls. I think they hit em.
As soon as the snow balls were thrown, and a club, a soldier fired. I heard the club strike upon
the Gun and the corner man next the lane said fire and immediately fired (American
Revolution, n.d.).
Another eye witness Newton Price testimony was very similar, The people were calling
them lobsters, daring em to fire, saying damn you why dont you fire. I saw Captain Preston out
from behind the Soldiers. In the front at the right. He spoke to some people. (American
Revolution, n.d.). This is interesting that the accounts continually put Preston out in front and to
the right of his men which would put him in the line of fire contrary to the reporting and in a
picture published in the Gazette. In the picture, Preston is depicted being behind his men sword
raised as if issuing the command to fire a volley, notice the uniform discharge of the muskets
which goes against all accounts of the shooting. (October 8, 1775, n.d.).

Daniel Cornwall gave the following testimony to the court, Captain Preston was within two
yards of me and before the men and nearest to the right and facing the Street. I was looking at
him. Did not hear any order. He faced me. I think I should have heard him. I directly heard a
voice say Damn you, why do you fire? Dont fire. I thought it was the Captains then. I now
believe it. (American Revolution, n.d.).
Testimony after testimony given in court during the trials of the soldiers and Captain
Preston, contradict the entire story as published in the Boston Gazette on March 12 1770.
Historian John Super (2005) claims that the version of the Boston Massacre as reported in the
newspaper is, highly questionable (p.26). The general narrative as outlined in court states the
altercation started between Private White and Garrish. Soon after the exchange of harsh words
and a little scuffle, a crowd gathered to defend Garrish and began to insult and taunt White.
White became afraid and called for reinforcements. The reinforcements were lead by Captain
Preston. The accounts put Preston out in front of his men trying to talk to several men in order to
defuse the situation. The soldiers endured heavy insults, multiple heavy thrown projectiles. The
mob advanced upon them in size of about 300-400 men with sticks all chanting for the soldiers
to be killed and daring them to fire. The British soldiers only fired after one was struck down so
hard he dropped his weapon and a citizen tried to take it from him. Fearing for their lives the
soldiers opened up one at a time not in volley fire as depicted in the picture from the newspaper.
One can draw some pretty clear assumptions as to why The Boston Gazette would clearly
portray the violence of March 5, 1770 the way they did. The political hot heads in Boston and the
other colonies desperately needed support for their struggle against Crown rule. The report in the
paper was simply a ploy in order to raise that support regardless of the truth. The newspaper was
still a very young medium in 1770. The ability to have mass communication to raise awareness
and support was absolutely vital for the colonial cause. Without the printing press the colonies
might not have been able to generate enough support to turn a rebellion into a revolution.
Although the colonies were successful at created a free nation, their use of propaganda raises
some serious concerns for our day like going to war over reported weapons of mass destruction.
The founding fathers were willing to bend the truth in order to obtain a higher cause but for what
causes and for whom is our media bending the truth we see today? Unfortunately we see starkly
contrasting biases in our media today. This is the information age and in order for us to maintain
our freedom we must be able to discern the truth from hidden agendas; facts from opinions. The
media should be a servant of the people and not a tool to manipulate the people. In order for us to
remain a free representational democracy, we must be able to make informed decisions about our
democracy based on information free from propaganda.



References

Danver, S. L. (2011). Revolts, Protests, Demonstrations, and Rebellions in American History :
An Encyclopedia. Santa Barbara, Calif: ABC-CLIO.

Kutler, S. I. (2003). Dictionary of American History, Third Edition. New York: Charles
Scribner's Sons.

Super, J. C. (2005). The United States at War. Pasadena, Calif: Salem Press.

American Revolution. (n.d.). American Revolution. Retrieved March 19, 2014, from
http://alphahistory.com/americanrevolution/eyewitness-accounts-boston-massacre-
1770/#sthash.6UFBRJAP.dpbs

Wheeler, W. B., & Becker, S. D. (2011). Discovering the American past (7th ed.). Belmont,
Calif.: Wadsworth ;.

Boston Massacre Historical Society. (n.d.). <i>Boston Massacre Historical Society</i>.
Retrieved March 19, 2014, from http://www.bostonmassacre.net/gazette/page2.htm

October 8, 1775. (n.d.). ushistory.org. Retrieved April 9, 2014, from
http://www.ushistory.org/franklin/temple/part5_100875.htm

Davidson, J. W., DeLay, B., Heyrman, C., Lytle, M., & Stoff, M. (2011). Experience history:
interpreting America's past. New York: McGraw-Hill Higher Education.