Running Head: COMPETENCIES 1

Professional Competencies Self Assessment

Katie Mey

CSP 552

Western Illinois University
COMPETENCIES 2
Metrics
My understanding is that the purpose of this paper is measurement. You are asking us to
measure our current selves and current level of knowledge in various areas against a set of
industry standards for the field of student affairs se forth in the ACPA/NASPA Professional
Competency Areas for Student Affairs Practitioners (2010). In order to accomplish this task I
first need to establish a scale on which I am measuring. In the instructions for the assignment we
are given a scale from a low of zero to a high of ten on which to rank ourselves. This scale
seems simple and straightforward at first glance. However, it becomes complicated when trying
to decide how to apply this continuous variable scale to a document that already contains
itemized categorical subscales of basic, intermediate, and advanced. My first attempt at figuring
out how to combine these two scales was to us the continuous variable scale to rank my level of
competency on each individual item of all three subscales for each of the ten competency areas.
I planned to then gauge my overall rank in each competency area by evaluating the average
rating on the continuous variable scale for each subscale and deciding which category I belonged
in based on a comparison of these averages as if the three categories linear hierarchical
progression and noting where I peak for each area. This seemed like the best way to allow
each scale to coexist until I tried it. That is how I ended up with fifteen pages written on the first
competency alone. So, this time, I have decided that I will just be creating a whole new
modified scale that does not play by the rules of the other scales. This makes me extremely
uncomfortable, but I am just going to have to suck it up and do it because the alternative is to
write something like a 200 page paper for this assignment and I am so not doing that. Instead, I
am going to break the continuous variable scale up into grouping that I will place within the
bounds of the categorical scale. A rank from zero to three will fall within the basic category, a
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rank from four to six will fall within the intermediate category, and a rank from seven to ten will
fall within the advanced category. Instead of explicitly ranking myself on each item, I will be
assessing my overall numerical rank for each competency area based on the bullet pointed
criteria provided under the headings of either basic, intermediate, or advanced.
Misery
Below I shall make repeated reference to the document ACPA/NASPA Professional
Competency Areas for Student Affairs Practitioners (2010) in the various sections
corresponding to the ten areas of competency outlined there in. Given that this document is the
primary guide and framework for this paper, I shall cite it here and include it in my references
page, but baring any direct quotations I will refrain from citing every general restatement of the
criteria presented in this document. When reference is made to the bullet pointed criteria in each
rank category and/or area of competence, please see the corresponding section on a particular
area of competence for a detailed description.
Advising and Helping
rank and evidence. In the area of advising and helping skills I rank myself a four. I feel
that this is an appropriate rank because I have a significant amount of knowledge and experience
on most of the criteria listed under the basic category in this area but can only confidently say
this about a few of the items in either the intermediate or advanced category. I have a decent
amount of background knowledge of the academic type related to the basic criteria in this area
from courses in my psychology major that included counseling elements, both in my survey
courses as well as some of my abnormal and psychopathology courses. These courses covered
things from the basic category such as the issue of confidentiality and mandated reporting as well
as the importance of self-monitoring of non-verbal communication in counseling settings. I have
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also gained competence on a few items in the intermediate and advanced categories in this area,
such as being able to identify clusters of symptoms that indicate a possibility of mental health
concerns, engaging in research on mental health issues as well as knowing how and when to
consult mental health professionals.
However, most of my background knowledge in this area is related to personal and
paraprofessional experience in this area. I have been trained as a crisis hotline volunteer and
staffer according to the guidelines of such training in Ohio. Such training includes counseling
intervention techniques, (from a variety of theoretical frameworks and stylistic approaches and
as applied to a variety of issues), referral skills, risk assessment tools and strategy, intervention
protocols for contacting civil authorities and medical professionals, records and reporting
procedures, and also training on privacy law, confidentiality standards, and mandated reporting
requirements. In addition to this I have also received suicide prevention training, as well as
training specifically related to providing peer education on the topic of, as well as working with
and advocating for, victims and survivors of intimate interpersonal violence. All of this training,
combined with hands on experience of year and a half of with the crisis hotline, four years
related to interpersonal violence, and twenty four years of living with a mother and sister with
sever psychotic mental illness has given me a basic, possibly near intermediate level of
competence in this area.
importance and growth. I think that advising and helping skills are essential elements
of the entire profession of student affairs, not just my particular area of interest. While I do not
think that every professional in student affairs necessarily needs an extensive background in
counseling and psychology, I do think that they should be trained in the fundamentals of
counseling such as active listening as well as risk assessment and emergency response. I think
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that any time you are working with people (so, really, for most professions) you should be
trained in these things because it will aid in your ability to communicate effectively in many
situations. As it pertains to the area of interest, I think that such skills are particularly helpful
and necessary given the traditional nature of the work that Womens Centers do on campuses. In
my four years working as an undergraduate student assistant in the center at Miami I was asked
be my peers for assistance in consultation, referral, and advocacy regarding sexual and
relationship violence, disordered eating, harassment and stalking, discrimination, and myriad
other issues often designated as personal and therefore seen by some as outside the purview of
such an office. Though I agree that counseling centers and legal aid centers may be necessary
referrals and best equipped to deal with many aspects of some issues, I think that the pragmatic
reality of the matter is that often times the students who were approaching me and others in the
Womens Center for assistance were intimidated by or unsure of their relationship to these
offices but had some personal connection to the center themselves or through a friend or were
familiar with the space thanks to something as simple as a class visit to the centers resource
library. In my experience, due to the overtly supportive messaging and attitudes publicized from
these offices as well as the smaller size of the office and the informal nature of the space, some
people find it and easier first step to reach out to or in a Womens Center. Thus, having basic
advising and helping skills, especially those related to active and empathetic listening, providing
positive regard and affirmation, and advising and referral skills, seem particularly important to
work in a Womens Center.
I think that there are many ways to grow in this area and that I can do so almost without
being strategic about it if I so choose given the nature of my current work and context. However,
I value these skills very highly and so I am seeking out opportunities to enhance them such as
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refreshing my suicide risk assessment and prevention training through opportunities provided by
WISPA. I am also look to further develop my referral skills in this new context by learning more
about the many offices on this campus and the services and resources they can provide students
with various needs. I am considering taking the opportunity to do a practicum experience in the
Student Development and Orientation office so that I can learn more about the who, what,
where, when, and how of counseling and advising assessment, referral, and service provision
here at Western. I think that my skills related to basic counseling styles and my opportunity to
implement counseling skills in practice will develop greatly when I take the course in counseling
that is a requirement of this program next fall. I also think that I will develop many skills related
to advising and facilitating decision making in our group dynamics course, based on the readings
that we have done thus far and the kind of assessment and reflection that we are doing for
assignments in that class.
As I continue on as a professional, I think that I will need to become more and more
intentional at brushing up, keeping up, and growing in the skills and knowledge related to this
competency area. One strategy I have already considered for doing this is to seek out
interdisciplinary experiences related to continuing education in this area. I am aware that social
workers, school counselors, and other similar professions have licensure requirements related to
continuing education courses and workshops. I have attend some of these in the past related to
the work I have done in crisis response and sexual assault education and found them quite useful
and informative. It is also helpful that they often provide certificates of completion at such
events so I would have records of the kind of training and education I have already had so as not
to become too redundant in this area. I think that as I move out of this masters program it would
be a good strategy to find a listeserv or website that shares information on such opportunities in
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the geographic region I live in and to monitor it for reasonably accessible opportunities. I also
think that there are several opportunities to go to staff in-service training and education with
various other departments across campus related to advising, especially academic and financial
aid advising. I think that along with keeping abreast of current trends and new information on
this topic through publications related to this functional area it will be essential to develop
relationships with these offices on campus so that I can learn with them and from them.
Reexamined
I gave myself a four in this category initially, based on my educational and experiential
background. I think that it is interesting that I felt so confident in this area in part because of
some kind of theoretical familiarity with it. I also think it is interesting that I focused on issues
related to the use of counseling skills in relation to the crisis intervention. I definitely had a
narrow scope of when counseling might be a part of the profession. I also had some pretty
specific ideas on how I might improve while here at Western. So far, I did follow through on two
of the opportunities for improvement that I had initially identified. I did follow through on going
through WISPAs Western Connect suicide prevention training opportunity and I also took
counseling with Sarah. The training itself was not all that helpful in advancing my knowledge or
skill sets. Counseling class definitely advanced my understanding and ability related to
counseling. I think that what I learned most in this class was the importance of seeing
counseling outside of the crisis intervention box. I had previously been kind of trapped in a
mindset that saw counseling skills through a medical model and therefor limited their
applicability to the treatment of a disturbance or dysfunction. I now see the importance of
applying counseling skills and tenants in all that we do not as a strategy to cure a specific ill, but
as a way to better communicate and facilitate growth. It is kind of like finally understanding that
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most of our current theoretical models are still focused on plugging leaks to maintain a status
quo rather than advancing beyond to something new. If we have something that is useful to
helping and healing in especially hard times, why not apply it elsewhere and see if it works?
I think, in assessing where I am on this area now, I would probably rate myself still at
about a four or five. I think that I have learned more, but I also think that as a result of learning
more, I am more aware of all there is still that I do not know. I think that one of the things that I
can do to continue to grow in this area professionally is to do more to incorporate it into my life
personally. I have a strong resistance to being on the receiving side of applied counseling skills.
I probably should spend some time working through this. I have, at various points in time, tried
to go to counseling but not found myself able to maintain an interest in participating- in fact,
over the course of my life, I have become quite good a game I started playing as a kid that could
be called outsmart the counselor. I need to figure out how to engage in a relationship in
which counseling skills are used from more than just the provider or professional perspective.
I think that there are a few ways that I can do this, but one of the most obvious is to seek out
counseling. I also think that I need to engage in conversations about how these skills can be
used in my work with those around me. I think that I need to work on gaining an understanding
of where those around me are in terms of their understanding of counseling skills and how they
would see them in relation to our work. This will be important because it will allow me to
understand the kind of supervision or collegial relationships that I will be engaging in, as well as
what kind of support I would have in brining counseling skills into my work with students and
those outside my office or area. I think that taking advantage of the kinds of workshops, etc. that
I noted in my first plan for continued development are still valuable, however, I do not think that
they should comprise the backbone of my strategy related to this competency area.
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Assessment, Evaluation, and Research
rank and evidence. In the area of assessment, evaluation, and research I rate myself a
one. I feel that this is an appropriate rank because though I do have some knowledge and
experience related to several of the criteria in the basic category there are no bullet points for
which I can confidently say I am competent on all aspects mentioned, especially not practically
speaking. Furthermore, there are only two items under the intermediate and advanced levels that
I feel I have experience related to.
Though I feel that I have some of the academic knowledge that is fundamental to the
criteria listed in the competency, I do not have much practical experience implementing this
knowledge or translating it in ways relevant to the field. I have academic background knowledge
in research methods from my undergraduate degree requirements in psychology. I think that this
has given me a basic conceptual understanding of things such different conceptual and
methodological types of assessment, evaluation, and research. I also think that it would allow
me to vet work done in this area for potential issues with trustworthiness, reliability, and validity.
However, I do not think that I have enough knowledge about this to accurately differentiate
between these things when I come across them in practice. Furthermore, though I may be able to
read and understand an article or report about assessment, evaluation, or research I do not think
that I would be able to articulate this clearly or accurately enough to explain it to others, let alone
to derive a basis for directing policy at an institution.
If I were to provide a ranking regarding the criteria in this area that specifically refer to
the design and implementation of assessment, evaluation, and research, my ranking would be a
zero. Though I have had to pick apart the work of others in this area quite often in my academic
background, only once have I had to develop such original work myself. This experience was
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limited, as we were unable to study any topic or utilize any methods that might require IRB
approval and we were confined to the use of instruments that had already been developed to
measure similar topics of interest. My severe lack of academic and practical knowledge in this
area acts as a counter balance to the minimal level of competence I have in the area that are
discussed above and bring what might have been a rank of two or three back down to rest at a
one.
importance and growth. I think that if I hope to progress up the hierarchical ladder in
the field, it will be very important that I learn more about this competency area. Once you
become responsible for justifying and defending spending money and resources on projects and
programs, it becomes more and more important to be able to read and understand evidence
regarding the effectiveness or need for such things in higher education settings. I also think that
as you move up the chain of command, especially in the tough economic times that higher
education is facing currently with no end in sight, it will become more and more necessary to
show evidence of need and support for effectiveness of all kinds of services, programing, and
projects than it has been in the past when there were more resources to go around. I think that
this are is important to my area of interest particularly because of the traditional view of
Womens Centers by many in institutions of higher education as fluffy offices, or expendable
and superfluous to the mission of the institution and the need to defend their existence on
campus.
One way to grow related to this area that will be especially relevant over the next two
years is through class. Though it is far from my favorite subject, I think that it is crucial that I
take advantage of the opportunity to refresh and expand my knowledge through our research
methods course this semester. Also, I think it will be very important for me to apply the
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concepts form that course to my reading for other courses and critically analyze qualitative and
quantitative evidence presented on a topic. It will be most important, though, for me to take
advantage of as many opportunities as possible for me to get hands on experience designing and
implementing assessment and evaluation strategies and analyzing the results in order to have a
better pragmatic understanding of not only the process of such work but also the real world
relevance of concepts that I am currently familiar with only theoretically. After graduate school
I think it will become increasingly important for me to keep up with publications of research
related to the field and to critically analyze what I read to ensure I keep these skills sharp. I also
think that it will be a necessary part of any position for me to actively participate in assessment,
evaluation, and planning work so I will have opportunities to take the lead on some of these
projects and to make connections with the office or institutional research or other such similar
offices at whatever institution I am working at in order to take advantage of any advanced or
supplemental instruction they offer to faculty and staff related to this area. Furthermore, I plan to
get a PhD. in something eventually, so I am kind of banking on this forcing me to keep up my
skills and knowledge related to this area because I really, really am not a fan of the part of
quantitative research where you do all kinds of work with numbers and statistics. I am not good
at it and I prefer to do things that it is possible for me to excel in, so I am going to need some
kind of external pressure to force me to develop my skills in this area post graduation. I am not
yet sure what that would be other than job requirements or PhD. program requirements.
Reexamination
I think that my awareness that I had very little practical experience collecting data was
dead on, but that I actually let my fear of inadequacy take the lead in assigning my rank of one
last year. I had little experience designing research experiments that met the standards of, say,
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an IRB review. I also met a whole lot of resistance trying to implement different forms of
assessment in my previous position as an undergrad because I had a supervisor who often called
my abilities and credentials into question. Since that time, I have realized that the various
elements listed in this competency area do not necessarily hone in on the skills to do
academically rigorous research as assessments. I have also grown in my ability to think in terms
of assessment, which I think is crucial in terms of developing in this area. I have become able to
think ahead while designing something so that I am sure to include at least some points at which
assessment can be done. I have also gained an appreciation for the variety of forms something
like assessment and research can take over the last year, as in many of our courses a variety of
types of information have been presented as valid and worthwhile.
I think that at this time I would probably rank myself at a three in this area. I have
gained some experience, and I also think that I can give myself credit for knowledge and skills
that I previously did not think so. I think that part of this is thanks to the work that we did in
practicum and then also definitely in internship class last semester. I have a better
understanding of what assessment might look like and feel more capable in designing and
implementing at least basic assessments. I also got the opportunity to be a part of our
assessment committee with my assistantship. This gave me an appreciation for what it might be
like to work with a team of people who have various understandings and interests related to
assessment in order to produce a functional plan. In the future, I think that I will need to
continue to take opportunities to be on internal assessment committees and learn from others. I
will also need to continue to try to incorporate different assessments into my work. More
importantly, I will need to allow others to review this work and to get feedback from colleagues.
This will be very challenging, as I do not like to expose what I consider work in progress or
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potential failings. I think that it will be necessary for me to make any real progress in expanding
on this competency. I also think that I should plan to do benchmarking studies of the assessment,
program review, planning, etc. being done at other institutions. I found this very helpful in the
process of my ILE as well as in the work we did in my office. I think that for now, until the idea
of going back to school or the possibility of paying to attend one of the assessment institutes
offered by a professional organization, these are small, feasible ways that I can keep developing
in this area.
Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion
rank and evidence. In the area of equity, diversity, and inclusion I rank my competence
at a six. I feel that this is an appropriate rank given the amount of academic knowledge I have
related to this issue. Though I have a limited amount of experience in applying this knowledge
as a professional, I do believe that at this stage in my professional development I have a
relatively significant amount of experience gained as a student working in the field.
As a part of my undergraduate academic career I pursued knowledge on subjects related
to equity, diversity, and inclusion in the fields of psychology, philosophy, and women, gender,
and sexuality studies. In doing so I took courses that emphasized the study of diversity, such as
classes on the psychology of stereotyping and prejudice and minority experiences, the social
psychology of stigma and ostracism, the psychology of women, communication and sexuality,
gender and the media, queer theory, and others. I also took courses aimed at introducing me to
diverse perspectives, such as, Indian philosophy and religion, feminism and diaspora, disability
and feminism, and others. In order to bridge the gap between intellectual and practical
knowledge I pursued experience working with diverse populations and generally pursued
projects that sought to increase equity and inclusive practices in the world around me. To this
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end took and taught a course specifically on structural injustice as it pertains to service learning
in the interdisciplinary studies program, took part in the EMPOWER learning, engagement, and
service project at my undergraduate institution, worked with and through the office of diversity
affairs both as an individual student as well as in my capacity as a student ambassador with the
womens center, and volunteered with the local 211 social services information and referral
hotline, and participated in training on activism. This experience in college built upon the co-
curricular work I did in high school to create a student group dedicated to educating peers on
local and global issues of social justice as well as working with a group of students and faculty
from several Catholic schools in the greater Cleveland area to convene a summit and think tank
on regional poverty.
I cite all of these things to provide evidence for my competence in the area in general.
Some of the specific competency criteria that this relates to are those regarding the recognition of
intersectionality of an individuals diverse identities recognizing social systems and their
influence, articulating a definition of social justice the an understanding of the role of social
justice in higher education. My theoretical background has helped me develop a way of seeing
the world that allows me to be aware of how inclusive I am in my practice as a professional. The
scope of things it has prepared me to look for include equity and inclusion in the hiring processes
I have been involved in, to asses my own and others level of awareness and need for further
training, to provide some fundamental education and training for students and staff that I have
worked with, and to advocate for change within the institution to expand equity and inclusion. I
have continued to learn more in this area and to reassess my status as I go.
importance and growth. I feel that this is particularly important to my area of interest
given the role that feminism and Womens Centers have traditionally played on campuses in
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furthering issues of equity, diversity and inclusion for various groups of individuals who have
marginalized identities. This is true related not only to issues of gender but also to issues of
sexuality, religion, race, and race and ethnicity, (though, of course, this is not across the board
and also there are many other groups doing work for and with these groups in many institutions).
I think that it is important that this openness and emphasis continue given the growing diversity
of those attending institutions of higher education now as compared to historically. Feminism is
a plural discourse that stresses the importance of understating the intersectionality of identity and
the necessity to reach across disciplinary boundaries to borrow concepts useful to understanding,
interacting with, and supporting and empowering individuals whos identities are multiply and
variously aligned and formed given their position within social structures of power such as race,
class, gender, religion, ability, sexuality, and so on. I think that in order for Womens Centers
to practice what they preach, so to speak, it is crucial that they continue to integrate knowledge
and awareness related to diversity, equity, and inclusion for all into their work within
institutions.
I think that in the coming two years I will be challenged to grow in my awareness of
issues of equity, inclusion, and diversity in new ways and to see these issues in different light
simply because of the drastic differences in the student population between this institution and
my last. The marked difference in the percentage of the student population that fit into the social
identity category of color is drastically higher here than at Miami and so is the representation
and notoriety of various groups of these students across campus such as the UVOWIS choir and
the various dance troops that are supported by Gwendolyn Brooks Cultural Center, Casa Latina,
and other offices, as well as the size of historically black, Latino/a, and racially diverse Greek
organizations on campus will provide me with a very different experience at this institution.
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These groups, offices, and organizations can also serve as resources as I attempt to expand my
knowledge and awareness of culture as well as the issues particularly faced by these students in
the context of higher education. Also, I think that I will learn a great deal about this in our
course on student characteristics and potentially in our theory courses as we explore the
applicability of different theories across cultures and group identities and so on.
I think that in the future it will become very important for me to establish relationships
with the offices dedicated to serving multicultural populations on the campus where I work as
well as the office charged with insuring compliance with nondiscrimination law and policy. This
will be important because I will need to draw on the knowledge of those in these departments to
keep myself aware of the needs of diverse students and how I can better serve them through my
practice. Also, as I move up the ladder potentially and become responsible for supervising hiring
and firing practices within an office or department it will become more and more important that I
keep up to date on best practices and law and policy related to this part of the competency area as
well, which the office charged with overseeing equity and equal opportunity on campus will be
able to assist me with. I think it will be important that I seek out literature related to this area of
the field as well as seek out opportunities to attend conferences or training and education
sessions where issues related to this area of competency are addressed. Most importantly I think
it is necessary that I never allow myself to feel that I know what there is to know about the issues
related to this competency area because identities and their related concerns are constantly
evolving and changing and new issues and perspectives are constantly arising. Just because I
feel I am somewhat competent in this area now does not mean that this knowledge will be
relevant to the students that I am working with ten years from now, which makes it of the utmost
importance that I keep up to date on my knowledge related to this area.
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Reexamination
When I first examined myself in relation to the area of equity, diversity, and inclusion I
gave myself a six. After reviewing my own thoughts and the details of the CAS standards, I think
that this was about appropriate. I now think that regardless of how deep my academic
background in this area is, there will always be some things that I cannot learn from theories
and intellectual debates. I think that I need to do a better job, in the future, of stepping down
from the position of high-minded theoretical critic and assuming the position of the man in the
arena, so to speak. I think that what I have learned so far related to this area is that the most
important elements of this competency are those that I am the weakest in. I have learned that the
more important parts of this competency are those that relate to facilitating the learning of
others, which is not something I did all that well coming into this program. Doing the work of
social justice related to this competency area involves a divestment of ego that is really hard to
accomplish in conversation when you have been trained to take pride in demonstrating your
superior knowledge. My cohort took some time to share this lesson with me when they revealed
that they preferred that I not participate in discussions last year, and though it took me awhile to
understand the value of what they were saying, I think I am beginning to be able to learn from it.
Going forward, I think that I can improve in this area by continuing to work on my ability
to engage in conversations with all people about their own experience as well as their knowledge
related to this area. I can do so by simply taking the time to have the conversations and learning
from my mistakes. I began to try and set up the kind of intentional conversations that I think
would lead to the kind of learning and growth I would hope to achieve in this area. I met with a
number of people around campus and asked for their thoughts and about their experience, rather
than just focusing my efforts in the area that had the right title on campus. I think that in
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addition to this, I can keep up my academic pursuits, but I must also be sure to ground them in
experience. I think that I need to keep taking the risks of engaging around diversity on a
personal and interpersonal level to keep growing in this area. I also think that in order to learn
to facilitate the learning of others I should probably first try to facilitate my own, so that I have
some idea of what it might feel like and can be helpful in ways other than to provide a definition
of terms.
Ethical Professional Practice
rank and evidence. In this area I would rank myself at a three or maybe a four. I feel
that this is appropriate because I have experience with ethics in general and I can say that I am
competent related to many of the criteria that refer to my personal ethics, however, I cannot do
so related to the ethical standards in the field.
I do have a significant amount of experience in the study of ethics in general, which was
a part of my undergraduate philosophy degree (or, almost degree- I have to petition this one
class). The subject of ethics and whether or not I am acting in accordance with my own set of
ethics is really important to me and I have spent a good deal of time reflecting on what it meant
to me to be an ethical professional in student affairs. I am glad that I do this naturally when I
take on a new role, because early on in my tenure last year as I took on my first position of
hierarchical authority in the field and also already this year in my first month as a graduate
assistant I have had to articulate and, I guess, enforce, my ethics as a professional. Thus far,
most of the issues that have arisen revolve around ethical interaction with undergraduate students
related to setting interpersonal boundaries and articulating my stance against romantic
relationships with students, drinking with students, as well as related to confidentiality. I believe
that I have portrayed a concern for and commitment just and ethical practice in the field. Also, I
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am able to identify ethical issues in my practice and to articulate and implement my personal
strategies for addressing these issues.
importance and growth. I think that ethics related to anything is important, particularly
in professions where you are working with people (particularly youth) and those that might be
called helping professions. I feel this way because ethics are all about how you are going to
treat people and that is really important when you are working with them in ways that are
especially prone to give you influence over others. I think that student affairs qualifies as one of
these fields, so it is very important for me as a professional to take time to learn more about the
ethics associated with the profession and to reflect on how I am going to integrate these into my
personal code of ethics and my practice as a professional. I do not think that this is much
different based on my area of interest.
I think that growth in this area will occur pretty rapidly through the course of my
experiences in this graduate program. I have already been exposed to the ethics espoused by two
of the major professional organizations through this introductory course. I have also had
discussions about developing ethical professional boundaries with students in our group
dynamics course. The pragmatic ethics surrounding many issues has been a topic of discussion
in our organization and administration course on several occasions also. I think that this topic
will also come up quite often- and already has- in our research methods course as it relates to
ethical conduct in research and ethical use and treatment of data gathered. I expect this to be a
continuing conversation in all of these courses as we learn more about how the ethics of the
profession and our personal codes of ethics interact and apply to particular elements of the
profession or in particular contexts that may arise. I can be intentional in furthering my learning
in this area by making sure to return to the ethical standards published by professional
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organizations at intervals or after particularly engaging discussions on the topic and continuing
my reflection on my personal and professional ethics. I think it is also important that I ne
intentional in seeking conversation with other professionals at various stages in their career and
across a variety of functional areas within student affairs and in other divisions of the institution
in order to gain a critical perspective on my own ethics as well as to learn about there perspective
of others related to personal and professional ethics. I am hopeful that as I progress in my career
I will be offered many opportunities to continue to engage in these discussions through literature,
continuing education and training through my institution, and opportunities provided by
professional organizations at conferences or via technology and I plan to take advantage of these
to the furthest extent possible.
Reexamination
When I first rated myself on this area I gave myself a three or four. I think that I may
have overestimated myself. I think that though I am familiar with the field of ethics and do spend
a lot of time thinking about ethics as related to a lot of things, I definitely had not thought
through the ethics related to our field to the extent I felt I had. I now see that there are a number
of ways of viewing our work that I had not even begun to consider. I also see that given the
interpersonal nature of our work, the possibility for special cases is innumerable and
therefore I will likely need to continually reexamine my values and professional ethics. Right
now, I would probably say that I am at a three. In order to improve in this area, I think that the
best thing I can do is to keep engaging in conversations. I find that every time I do so I
encounter a new way to look at what it is we do and thereby advance and refine my own
thinking. I also think that this will give me practice in articulating my own beliefs. I also think
that it will be important to commit to reading about current events in the field as I continue on in
COMPETENCIES 21
the profession so that I am prepared to deal with these things in my own practice and aware of
the consensus in the field.
History, Philosophy, and Values
rank and evidence. In this area I would rank myself a three. I feel that this is
appropriate because I have very little knowledge of the specific history of higher education and
even less of the details related to the field of student affairs beyond what we have read for this
class. The things that I am able to conclude based upon my broader knowledge of history,
however, satisfy some of the criteria of this area.
The little knowledge about this area currently about this is what I can extrapolate from a
broader scope of U.S. history. For instance, based on my knowledge of the history racial
discrimination in the country I can extrapolate information about access, diversity, equity, and
inclusion in the history of higher education. Also, based on my knowledge of the popular
politics of various times and how that related to funding for higher education I can extrapolate
some things about the financial situation of institutions of higher education as well as of the
potential and actual students in these institutions. Furthermore, I feel that I am able to
demonstrate responsible campus citizenship and also to be empathetic and compassionate
regarding the needs of students, which I guess relates more to the values part of this area. Over
the past year while working as a pseudo-program coordinator and the senior and supervisory
member of a divers student staff I learned quite a lot about the wide variety and diverse spectrum
of needs students have and how to empathize with those needs that I perhaps do not completely
understand or that I cannot identify with.
importance and growth. I think that it is very important to learn about the past of the
profession as well as higher education in general and to have you awareness of the changes that
COMPETENCIES 22
have taken place over time inform your knowledge of the philosophy and values of both. I think
that I will have an opportunity to learn a great deal about the history of the profession in our
course on this topic next year and I think that it will be very important for me to put in the effort
of making connections between history and the current context of our work so that I can
understand its relevance to my practice and extrapolate its continued importance in my
professional development. To this end I think that it will be very important for me to do my own
exploring on how to weave all of the historical information that we are gathering into narratives
that are meaningful to me. Though it will mean more time and effort put into the class on my
part, I am aware that I enjoy learning history much more this way and that it will help me
integrate this knowledge into my practice in more meaningful ways.
I think that in the future it will be important for me to keep history in mind as I do my
work. A way to do this might be to browse publications related to the field and to education in
general for articles related to the anniversaries of legislation or social movements that were
particularly important to higher education. Another way that I can continue to further my
knowledge of the history and values of the profession is to make intentional efforts to learn more
about the history of the particular institution where I am working. I know a great deal about the
history of Miami, as it was a point of institutional pride and the subject of not only several books
and also some courses at the institution. It was the process of learning the history of that
particular institution that aroused my curiosity about some of the history of higher education in
general, which is how I came about a lot of the knowledge that I have about higher education in
Ohio and how it was effected by various social and political movements and issues. I think that
repeating this process might be a good way to increase my understanding of the institution in
COMPETENCIES 23
which I am working as well as the particulars of the history of higher education and the field of
student affairs in the geographic and political region in which I live and work.
Reexamination
When I first rated myself on this area I gave myself a three. I did so because I felt that I
only had a baseline of knowledge regarding the history of higher education and student affairs,
and very little knowledge to speak of related to the philosophy and values of the field. I think
that since taking our Introduction and History courses, my knowledge in this area has increased
quite a bit. Though I was not able to follow through on all of my plans to explore history to a
full extent, I did do some of my own exploration and connection making. I also was able to gain
a better understanding of the history and values that have shaped our profession in not only in
our Introduction class, but then also in the work I have done since then because my awareness of
the connections that may exist was raised and I became interested in and able to ask the right
questions. At this point, I think I can rank myself at about a five. I can continue to improve by
practicing some of the points listed in the intermediate level of the standards. I think that I can
focus on articulating the history, values, and responsibilities of the profession as well as of
higher education in general. I can also begin to consider how I might participate in advancing
the conversation, so to speak, into the future.
Human and Organizational Resources
rank and evidence. In this area I would rank my competence as a four. I feel this is
appropriate because I have a few years of experience working as a staff supervisor, one of which
thus far has been in the field of student affairs. During trainings for supervisor roles, as well as
in the process of constructing training for my supervisees, I have learned some things about
COMPETENCIES 24
motivation, job descriptions, supervision techniques and styles, and conflict management
practices.
My experience as an advisee and supervisee in a variety of roles have compelled me to
learn more about effective practices in motivation and organization of staff and other groups.
For example, my dissatisfaction with the micro-managing supervisory style of my past employer
and my observation of the negative effects that this style had on the staff moral and productivity
provided an impetus for me to pursue a promotion in rank which would position me as a liaison
between the student staff and the supervisor. My desire to use this position to mitigate the
negative effects of this supervisor on the group drove me to learn more about effective
supervisory styles, which I did both through academic research as well as interviews with other
professionals who supervised staff within and outside of the field of student affairs. Also to this
end, I pursued knowledge and skills related to conflict management related to staffing and
personnel management. It was also necessary to my success in this area that I gain skill in
leading all staff as well as one on one meetings. Though I only have had limited opportunity to
implement and evaluate any of these strategies, I feel that the knowledge I have is enough to
satisfy some of the criteria in the basic category as well as some in the intermediate category in
this area.
importance and growth. This is another area of competence that I think will become
increasingly important as I progress in my career. I have already experienced the need to
develop skills in this area as I assumed a supervisory role last year and as I assume advisory roles
this year. I think it will continue to be important as my responsibilities in this area grow. I do not
think that this competency is particularly important given my area of interest. I do think,
however, that it will involve a little more effort for me if I intend to operate under what some
COMPETENCIES 25
would call a feminist organizational model. I think that often times the concerns of an
organization that does so, such as a Womens Center, are different than those of offices that are
more comfortable operating under traditional hierarchical organizational structures and will not
have concerns about how various theories and best practices will interact with a lateral
organizational structure and a consensus method of decision making.
I think that I am already learning a lot about how some people think it is appropriate to
approach this competency area in our organization and administration course. Though I think
that it presents very limited perspectives, I think it will serve as a good starting point and get me
thinking about whether or not I think that might be better ways to do so. I also think that I will
have a lot of opportunity to observe how various supervisors and various offices address issues
of human and organizational resources as I seek out practicum and internship experiences. It
will be important for me to be sure to take note of difference as ask questions about the logic
behind various strategies and styles in different offices. I think that it will also be something that
I will have the opportunity to learn more about during the course of our group dynamics course
this semester, as we have already begun to address some of these topics in the reading and
discussion for class. I think it will be important for me to try and keep this information in mind
as we continue to discuss such topics in organization and administration as well as when I begin
to have conversations about these issues with my supervisors in my assistantship and practicum
as well as other professionals in offices across campus. In the future, I think that it will be
important for me to keep up on the topic by seeking out information related to it not only in
publications related to the field but also in journals related specifically to human resource
management in various other fields such as psychology and business. I think that it will also be
important to ensure that I keep engaging in these types of conversations with my peers and also
COMPETENCIES 26
my superiors in order to gain insight into their perspectives given their positionality within the
institutions they work at. It will also be important for me to talk myself into attending
workshops and conference sessions that pertain to this topic even though I find them less
tantalizing than those on subjects like identity, diversity, advocacy and activism and anything
with theory in the title. There are just some sacrifices that will have to be made in the name of
professional development.
Reexamination
I think that I may have been a little over confident in ranking myself as a four in this area
initially. In looking back, I was comparing myself more to the experiences that my peers shared
in this area than to the competencies themselves. In hindsight, I realize that though I did have a
lot of practical experience in this area, I had never really been exposed to theories or strategies
of organizational management, but more general leadership ideas. Since then, I have been able
to gain greatly in this area theoretically and also practically via our Practicum and Internship
classes. I also have been able to get a great deal of experience working in different kinds of
advising, supervising, and in between relationships with different groups and individuals via
volunteer work and my summer internship. I think at this point I could probably rank myself at a
four and be a little more on par. In order to continue to improve in this area, I think that I can
continue to work to gain experience in seeing the bigger picture in the field and the areas and
institutions I work in. I should make sure that I am paying attention to how relationships are
built, maintained and utilized to achieve big picture goals in these areas and institutions. I also
can continue to take opportunities to gain skills related to budgeting and resource allocation
through observation as well as hands on by seeking out these responsibilities in my next
positions.
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Law, Policy, and Governance
rank and evidence In this area I rate my competence at a one. I feel that this is
appropriate because I have very limited knowledge in this area beyond the broader criteria
related to national constitutional rights and laws as well as nondiscrimination law and policy. I
have a general working understanding of the differences between public and private educational
institutions based on extrapolation from my understanding of this difference pragmatically in my
elementary and secondary education as well as knowledge gained based on pursuit of my own
personal interest in this distinction. I learned a bit more about this difference doing research for
my summer internship on institutional judicial and disciplinary systems in various institutions as
well as in international contexts. I leaned both about these differences as they pertain to student
discipline as well as the faculty and staff administering the judicial or other related programs at
these types of institutions. Also, during my internship experience abroad I became quite curious
about the differences that exist related to the legal standards and institutional requirements for
nondiscrimination policy between types of institutions in various cultural contexts. I did learn
some things about this based on my own research as well as conversations about differences that
exist internationally in these areas, however I would in no way classify myself as competent in
law and policy related to the field of higher education and student affairs.
importance and growth. I think that this area will in some ways be more important
given my area of interest. Given the topics that I will likely be dealing with based on my current
experience in this area, such as gender equity, inclusion, harassment, interpersonal violence, and
so on, it will be important that I am highly informed particularly on law and policy as it pertains
to these issues. Furthermore, I think that it will be important for me to ensure I keep an active
COMPETENCIES 28
hand in the making of such policy as I move up the ladder so that I can make the connections
necessary to ensure that these policies are implemented and enforced fairly and effectively.
I expect that I will lean a great deal about this in the legal course that we will take with
Earl Bracey next semester. It will be important for me to make sure that I use this course as a
resource to pursue information that is pertinent to my practice as well as to gendered issues in
various other functional areas. It will also be important that I do some outside research
pertaining specifically to gender and the law and policy of U.S. institutions as compared to their
peers internationally. I learned a great deal about the differences in law and policy and
subsequently in attitude and environment surrounding many of these issues at Canadian
institutions through the course of my internship this summer and think that I gained important
new perspective on these issues as a result. I now subscribe to international publications in the
field as well as those that focus on domestic policy in an attempt to keep learning more in this
regard. To this end, I also hope to purse another internship or study experience abroad in the
near future. I think that maintaining an awareness of political and legal issues generally speaking
as well as those that are particularly relevant to the field and to higher education will also be
important as I progress. Also, I think that it would be to my benefit to build relationships with
the ombudsman as well as the legal counsel and any legal aid offices at the institution I work at
in order to stay abreast of these topics locally.
Reexamination
When I first rated myself in this area, I gave myself a one, partially based on my level of
curiosity about the topic rather than my actual knowledge. Since then, I have become a good
deal more aware of the law and policy issues that are involved in higher education. I do not
think, though, that I have become incredible competent related to them. I am excited to take Law
COMPETENCIES 29
class this semester, and I already feel like I have learned a great deal from the class, despite the
books unfortunate dryness. I also feel that I have a general familiarity with the kinds of topics
that are touched on in the basic category of this area thanks to my generalist background, as I
have kind of cobbled together an understanding of law, policy, and governance based on the
glimpses I have had from a variety of locations within a few institutions. At this point, I can give
myself a two on this area. I think, though, that as I go on I will need to become more and more
proficient in this area, as ultimately the liability will begin to lie more and more directly with me
for not only my own actions, but those of my students and staff in various ways. I think that
beyond law class, one concrete step I can take to continue improving in this area is to do the
background research related to hot topics that come up in various publications and other
forums related to the field. I enjoy going down the Google rabbit hole, so to speak and I often
find out how much I do not know about a topic when I do so. I also think that paying attention to
the current state of legislation that could effect higher education will be important, and so I will
have to make an effort to pay attention to the news, should that ever become something I do not
enjoy. I also know that there are briefs and statements on policy that are put out by various
constituent bodies occasionally, as well as various archives of these documents available
through the resources of professional associations. I think that keeping abreast of these topics
myself and also being sure to engage in conversation about them with others is the most feasible
way of continuing to grow in this area. Aside from, of course, going into law school, which I
have not ruled out.
Leadership
rank and evidence. In this area I would rank myself a two. I feel that this is appropriate
because though I have had opportunities to gain academic knowledge on the topic through course
COMPETENCIES 30
work as well as research and program development I have had limited opportunity to apply it
subsequently and no opportunity to evaluate how it effects my practice formally. I have had the
opportunity to take a few inventories that are aimed at assessing my leadership strengths and
style, such as Strengths Finder. I have also taken a course on the nature of group leadership that
facilitated my reflection on my own current leadership style as well as my introduction to
different leadership paradigms and related theories. Thanks to other aspects of my academic
background in various fields I am also able to understand the complexities of intersectional
identities and how my own identity affects my perspective on leadership, among other things. I
have a grasp on the pros and cons of various types of decision making as they related to various
contexts as well as an idea about which of these I personally prefer to use. I have training in the
practice of identifying key stakeholders and anticipating their concerns through activism
workshops I have taken in the past as well as from my work in the field on projects and
initiatives, especially in the last year. I have also learned a good deal about the importance of at
least being aware of internal structures and networks within the institution when pursuing change
in an organization. I am not, however, the most adept at using the knowledge gained from these
analyses at this point. Nor do I have much experience in leading large groups and being
responsible for the decisions made pertaining to such an organization.
importance and growth. This is another area that I think will be important to success in
the field regardless of the functional area in which you work. However, I also think that based
on my are of interest I will need to ensure that I learn about what is being espoused as best
practices while at the same time keeping a critical eye on the information I am consuming and
evaluate its alignment with feminist practices of leadership.
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I think that in the next two years I will have many opportunities to learn about and
experiment with various styles of leadership first hand through my assistantship and practicum
experiences as well as with a variety of other experiences I will have in this field. I will have to
interact with several supervisors and leaders within the division and likely leaders from other
areas within the institution and the community as well in the course of my time here. I think that
I can learn a lot in this area now and in the future through observation, conversation and
reflection on the leadership of others. I think that it will also be important to keep up to date on
emerging leadership theories and to constantly be updateing my knowledge related to this area
and critically assessing the value of some practices based on new evidence and further study
being done in this area.
I also have opportunities to learn about myself as a leader in the field currently,
particularly right now as an advisor to a student group and chair of an event planning committee.
I have already had opportunities to assess the strengths and weaknesses of the group that I work
with as well as those of other student groups with which I have interacted thanks to this role. I
have been able to reflect about my own strengths in relation to those of the group to assess where
I may be most effective in assisting their growth and development as an organization and how to
do so. I think that there will be many opportunities to do so through my assistantship this year as
I will have the opportunity to advise and supervise many types of groups- from organizations to
committees to casts over the course of the year. I think that it will be important to continue to
seek out opportunities to take on leadership roles in new groups as well as different types of
leadership roles and continue to evaluate my self and my effectiveness in these contexts as I
develop as a professional.

COMPETENCIES 32
Reexamination
My initial rank for myself in this area was a two, which I think may have been pretty
accurate. I was right, at that point I did not have a ton of experience applying the theories that I
had recently become aware of and assessing my abilities. I did have leadership experience,
though, and I now can see the connections between my experiences pre-leadership education and
the things that I have learned since that time much more clearly than I appear to have been able
to last year. Also, since this time I have had the opportunity to take on a variety of roles that
involve some form of leader or followership in many different contexts, and this has really helped
me understand leadership in many new ways. I have also had the opportunity to see leadership
exemplified by others in a variety of forms that I had not ever thought possible. I think at this
point, I can say that I feel much more competent in my ability related to the points under basic in
this area. I might even say that I have gained some ability related to the points under
intermediate, such as recognizing interdependence, giving appropriate feedback, and creating
environments that support development of a leadership identity in others. I think I would rate
myself a five in this area, which makes it the area that I have made the most progress in, I
suppose, over the last year and a half. I order to continue to develop in this area, I think I
actually need to go back and revisit some of the things I have already done, so to speak. I want
to go back and re-read some of our materials from several classes, especially Introduction,
Practicum and Student Characteristics. I can think of several documents that I gained from
reading the first time, but that still felt quite pregnant with possibility in ways that I could not yet
grasp. I think that making time to go back and see what I can see through the lenses I have now
would benefit me greatly. I also think that continuing to ask for and utilize feedback will be
crucial to my growth in this area. I hate, so very much, the possibility of exposing myself as
COMPETENCIES 33
wrong or doing the wrong thing. At the same time, I think that often this is a major element of
leadership. Its about being willing to get up and get naked in front of others so they can pick you
apart, should they wish. So continuing to get feedback will be good for my practice, as well as
good practice, related to this area. I do love when things get a little meta.
Personal Foundations
rank and evidence. In this area I would rank my competence at a three. I feel that this
is appropriate because though I am aware of many of the concepts and criteria discussed I am not
necessarily good at applying this knowledge, especially the portion of it related to self care, to
my life. I am relatively aware of my own personal beliefs and values. I think that it is probably
nearly impossible to be completely self aware in this regard and to assess all of the impacts that
these might have on my practice, but I try to be mindful of this. I am aware of many practices
that promote personal wellness and health, and I often attempt to incorporate them into my life,
with varying levels of success. I can identify sources of fulfillment in my life but have a hard
time making more time for things like this. I can also identify sources of dissonance, but
struggle to manage the effects that such things can have on me and minimize them in my life. I
think that I have a familiarity with many of the concepts related to the criteria in this area,
however, I have not come close to application and pragmatic understanding. I think that one part
of the criteria for this area that I may be stronger on than the others is articulating meaning and
purpose related to my work. I think that I have a clear sense of what I believe the purpose of my
work is and where I find meaning in it personally. I believe in supporting all students in gaining
equitable access and opportunity in higher education and to ensuring that this equity is
maintained throughout their experience. Furthermore I believe that the purpose of such an
education is to assist in their growth and development as whole persons and engaged citizens. I
COMPETENCIES 34
find meaning in being able to aid individuals in the pursuit of something that we both see as
valuable and life changing.
importance and growth. I think that this is particularly important for me, given my
poor performance and deficit of knowledge in this area historically. I also think that it is
important in the field of student affairs in general, given the interpersonal and sometimes
emotionally difficult nature of the work that we do and the unfortunate truth that we will often be
asked to do far more work than that for which we are paid- the combination of which can lead to
burn out.
I think that the opportunities to learn in this area will likely arise due to a failure in my
current body of knowledge to be able to address a personal or professional issue. I also think
that I have a decent amount of basic knowledge in the areas of wellness and perspective, but the
areas that I need to grow in are more related to implementing these in practice on an ongoing
basis. I think that it is probably I good idea for me in general and especially since I am in this
field to try again at engaging in long term counseling for mental and emotional wellness. I know
that this would probably be a good way both now and in the future to engage in reflection on my
state of being and to practice methods of increasing the things that I identify as positive in my
life and decreasing the negative. I think that it will also probably help with my counseling skills
to see how some strategies are effective and ineffective in context from the opposite side of the
couch, so to speak. I think that a lot of the opportunities for knowledge that arise in this area are
going to arise at times and places that I have not planned for. I am not quite sure how I can be
intentional in pursuing growth and development in this area other than by preparing and
committing myself to trying to see these circumstances as opportunities when they arise and
COMPETENCIES 35
learn from them rather ignoring them or working through them only to fail to learn from them
and integrate that knowledge into my practice.
Reexamination
I rated myself as a three in this area, probably because I have a very low threshold for
zero when it comes to this topic. I also think, though, that the points included under basic in this
area are a bit odd, in that they seem to emphasize, more so than in the intermediate area even,
awareness of the things related to professional identity, performance, and well being before or
more so than those related to the personal, at least in a few points. While I understand that
distinction between ones personal self and professional self is not all that clear and that the idea
of duality here is kind of ridiculous, I also think it isinteresting, that we as a profession are
emphasizing the job part of life over the rest. I can see connections between this kind of
perspective (very third order, if I am going to nod to Keegs) and the kind of overwhelming, self-
sublimating dedication to ones work that I have seen many newer professionals rewarded for
in the past- not to mention to the high burn-out rate or tendency to exit the field we see. I think
that, personally, right now I could rate myself at a more solid three or four in this area. I do not
think, though, that it is because I am making progress on the basic points, but more so on the
intermediate ones. To continue my growth in this area, I think that I am going to need to spend
time on a regular basis considering how, given my present context, I am going to make decisions
that help establish and maintain, if not enhance, my wellness in many areas and in relation to
others. I think that one major area that I have neglected related to this competency in the past is
my relational health- or the health of my current relationships with others and myself. By paying
more attention to this sphere of well being, I think I will grow in my ability to articulate the
connections between my health and the health of those people and entities I am in relation to.
COMPETENCIES 36
Student Learning and Development
rank and evidence. I would rank myself at a two. I feel this is appropriate because
though I like to talk a big game abut being a theory buff, truthfully, when it comes to student
development theories, I have mostly second-hand knowledge shared by friends and gathered
from reading relatively brief articles about how a particular theory relates to some concept or
component of something I have been interested in doing. I have read a few brief articles that
asses a particular thing, such as leadership differences among men and women in college or how
certain kinds of assessment promote or do not promote certain types of reflection and personal
growth and development, that explain in their introduction that they are working within certain
theoretical frameworks related to student development and briefly describe them. I have also
had rather long conversations with graduate students or new professionals who studied in the
Student Affairs and Higher Education program at my undergraduate institution. Many of these
conversations were very enlightening as to the general spirit of a couple of their most or least
favorite theories. However, they did not often convey the details that are necessary to really
understand a theory and articulate such an understanding. I rate myself a two, though, because I
do have knowledge about some theories of human development from my psychology
background. The bulk and detail of this knowledge pertains particularly to pre-college age
development, however, which is why I do not think this bolsters my rank much beyond a two in
this area.
importance and growth. I think that there will be lots of opportunity for me to grow in
this area in our theory one and theory two courses. I think that this will probably be the only
time it is ever going to be part of my job to read development theory intensively unless I go for
my PhD. or become faculty in a program some day. Thus, it is going to be important that I learn
COMPETENCIES 37
as much as I can during this time and that I internalize the important concepts related to several
of these theories now so that I can reflect on them as I go through my career in the future. It will
also be important for me to identify documents that I find most helpful in understanding these
theories and to save them for reference at points later on in my career. After taking these courses
it will be important for me to pursue this knowledge on my own, which will probably be harder
and more time consuming than I think I want it to be, but will be necessary for me to refresh my
knowledge and stay current in my practice (and I will probably enjoy it once I find time to do it).
It will involve more than reading through a few short articles in news publications related to the
field, which will probably also mean that it will help me keep my researching skills sharp finding
recent and relevant work done in developing or evaluating theory. I think that a good way to do
this might be to join knowledge communities or committees in professional organizations related
to this area or that have people on them who do work in this area so that I can have a reason and
or a resource to do so. I think that keeping up on reading and attending conferences or seminars
directed at theory are the only ways that I can think of to stay up to date in this area. I would love
to hear any suggestion you have in this regard, though.
Reexamination
I rated myself a two initially in this area, which was decently fair given the criteria. I
really had very little in depth knowledge about most theories at the time, despite being familiar
with names and buzzwords. If I am honest, though, I am not sure I have improved all that much.
Since that time, we have had two theory courses, and though I think I learned a lot in them, I do
not know how to gauge what it is I learned, and I am not sure that much of what I can say I
learned lines up with these competencies. For instance, we spent a lot of time on one or two
theories with Sarah, and kind of breezed through the rest. I did the reading and participated in
COMPETENCIES 38
the discussion, but I am not sure I could list for you very many theories or really explain the
differences between them on a detailed level. I also think it is interesting that we rarely read
primary sources for theories, and when we did it was the ones that we spent the most time on
already, which has pros and cons. I felt kind of the same way with J.Q. last semester. We spent
so much time critiquing and discussing, that I almost feel we were unfair in dealing with the
theories themselves, because we did not take the time to get to know them very well first. I did
not feel that way with environmental theory as much, but again we really honed in on one theory.
But that is a bit off topic. I guess to get back to my competency, I would probably rate myself as
a three or four in this area at this point. I know that the point of theory is not necessarily to be
able to list it off but not understand or apply it, but I also just do not feel like I know all that
much. In order to improve in this area, I think that I will again need to return to some of the
texts that we covered in classes and read them at a slower pace and through a different lens. I
think that having more time to spend with these will be exponentially helpful to really grasping
them. I also think that keeping abreast of current work in the realm of theory will be important.
I am already a part of a few facebook and other networking groups that are primarily for those
conducting research or developing theory in specific area. Continuing to make these
connections, as well as continuing to find groups like these in person or online that provides a
forum for discussion of these topics will be crucial. I also have not ruled out the idea of
continuing my education after this program- after a break of course.
Misery Concluded
After spending a significant amount of time reflecting on my standing related to the
competencies related of this filed I have realized two things. First, the deck is stacked against
mastery. In this field, there are very few concrete skills and things to be accomplished and
COMPETENCIES 39
checked off a list so that I can say confidently that I know something. Second, this
simultaneously intellectually intrigues me and pragmatically terrifies me, making me very unsure
of my current choice of profession. I could spend the next couple pages reflecting on why this is,
but seeing as I am on board for this grad school ride whether I end up wanting to pursue the
profession after graduation or not, I have the next two years to engage in deep reflection on why
the possibility that I would be absolutely unable to attain perfection sends me into existential
crisis. Why rush through that at the end of this paper? I am sure there will be a time when it
would be an appropriate topic for its own paper and could be more adequately treated then. For
now I am content having recognized this and leaving it rest at recognition.
Reexamination
In the end I suppose it is a little surprising that I do not feel I have made a ton of
progress in any particular area in my time in graduate school. I guess I had still held on to the
idea that I would come out of this place completely transformed and in possession of a least a
clue to some higher plane of knowledge. Not only do I no longer think that I will feel that way
upon graduation, but I actually have come to think, as I discussed in my first conclusion, that it
is no longer possible to attain the kind of perfection I have always hoped for. The jury is still out
on whether or not this realization has completely undone me, but I guess at least that is
something I have learned. I guess the next step is to learn how to actually function, and be a
professional in this field, given the loss of my primary motivation. If it is not possible to know
everything, I then the next major competency I should master has to do with finding a point to
anything in light of dawn of this reality. I have started to do this by joining roller derby. We
shall see where that leads.