INTERWEAVE CONTINENTAL

The National Conference on LGBT Equality

Creating Change

Dear Interweave members and friends. How are you? Due to the weather, this winter has been a struggle for so many of us. It is hard to believe that Spring starts four weeks from now! In this edition of Interweave Connect, I will address three topics: Feedback from Creating Change, Interweaves Camp Aranutiq youth project, and our 2014 Interweave awards. For more information about our youth project and our awards, please read the articles in this newsletter! They are important! Interweave Continental would like all of us to help provide a summer camp experience to one or more transgender youth from our UU congregations. To do this, we need you to participate in raising funds for the summer camp project! We also want to celebrate individuals in our congregations who are investing in and communicating effectively regarding the lives of LGBTQ persons.To be successful, we need you to submit applications for our Mark DeWolfe award and our sermon contest. The Interweave Continental board thanks you for whatever support you are able to give to these projects. As you may know, Creating Change 2014 was held in Houston, Texas. It was a privilege to represent Interweave. Imagine 4,000 LGBTQ people gathered in one place! The intense, highenergy atmosphere and the celebration of being together were amazing. Although there are many features of the conference that stand out for me, I will describe three. First, our Interweave Reception on Friday evening drew 40 to 50 UUs from all over the US, including many from the local Houston congregations. Conversations were animated, and the room was full of people enjoying themselves. We distributed brochures about Interweave, our newsletter, and the new Interweave trans curriculum. In addition, a scrumptious, dark, moist chocolate cake (need I say more?) helped us celebrate Nisco Junkins Contents 70th birthday. Membership Matters 3 Second, Marsha Aizumi led a workshop on UUs Attending Creating Change 4 leadership called Minding the Gap. Her approach First UU Church in Houston 5 was different from what I had expected. Marsha asked Camp Aranutiq 6 us to choose three strong and positive words that Interweave GA Awards for 2014 7 describe ourselves. Then we were to state a goal that Supportive People in Our Lives 8-11 we are working on in our personal or professional Cloudburst 12

Interweave Continental Board

Maryka Bhattacharyya, President Susan Gore, Secretary

North Augusta, SC marykahb@yahoo.com

Nisco Junkins, Vice President

Newsletter Production Manager Eugene, OR niscohappy@comcast.net

Fort Worth, TX sgoretx@aol.com

Rev. Michelle LaGrave

Tova Vitiello, Newsletter Editor Niala Terrell-Mason

Iowa City, IA tovavitiello@aol.com

Petersham, MA michellelagrave@gmail.com Riverside, CA scififreak35@hotmail.com

lives. From this, we devised a personal goal statement. My statement was: I am a determined scientist, tennis player, woman who is preparing for her transition to retirement. My job is to mind the gap between who I am now and where I want to go. To move in that direction, Marsha had us list five actions that we could take to mind that gap. Marsha told us that she has two goal statements for herself, one for her personal life and one for her professional life. She recites them each morning. I was inspired. Third, I attended a workshop on Kink 101. I am interested in this topic partly because the youth of today are being introduced to kink sex in a way that my generation was not, Creating Change Workshop and I feel a need to become educated. The workshop was Based on their new book, filled to capacity, standing room Two Spirits, One Heart: A only. Young people were very Mother, Her Transgender Son, much in the majority. I learned a and Their Journey to Love lot. and Acceptance, Marsha Finally, for this edition of Aizumi (right) and her son, Interweave Connect, you were Aiden, present a workshop asked to write an article about a person in your life who supported at Creating Change.The book is Marshas heartfelt you or encouraged you or memoir about the painful celebrated you, and helped you struggles of her oldest to live a better life as an LGBTQ child who was born a person. We have included four female, but now lives personal stories. Read and as a man. It chronicles enjoy! And special thanks to Marshas journey those who invested in sharing from being a mother their stories. filled with sadness and fear to emerging as Please start an Interweave a passionate and visible voice for the Chapter in your congregation. LGBTQ community. http://marshaaizumi.com/ We want and need your twospiritsoneheart.html support! Until next month, Maryka Bhattacharyya, President Interweave Continental

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Membership Matters

have had the privilege of speaking at several UU and other faith-based events recently. One talk that I especially enjoyed focused on how UUs can -and do- live our Seven Principles. It was a reflection entitled Connecting the Dots, and it was given at the Waco UU Fellowship in Texas. I started by pointing out that UUs are wildly overrepresented in many lists of important Americans. Among them are presidents of the United States, founders of the ACLU, ASPCA, NAACP, Red Cross, Southern Poverty Law Project, Gannett media, NBC and RCA. Scientists, writers, media personalities and over-achievers in a myriad of other professions are Unitarians, Universalists or both.* My point was not to say how famous we UUs are, though. It was to ask people how they connect the dots between their faith and their lives. For many, Waco brings up conservative and intense associations as the home of Baylor University and the Branch Davidians. Reality is far more interesting than sound bite infotainment might lead you to believe. Waco UU is a vibrant fellowship, and the members are working toward certification as a Welcoming Congregation. Thats why I was invited to speak. As part of their reflection about how they connect the dots between their faith and their lives, I handed out index cards and asked everyone to write down all the things each of them support with time and/or money, inside or outside the congregation. Names did not have to be attached to the lists. The number and range of responses was overwhelming. It was fun to see members of the

Waco congregation sit up just a bit taller as I read a long list of examples that only scratched the surface of all the different things people there are doing to make a difference in the world. No wonder UUs are overrepresented among notable American achievers. We are a highly engaged bunch of folks! As I reflect on my experience in Waco, I connect the dots to Interweaves membership drive. It is wonderful that so many UU congregations are Welcoming. It is wonderful that Interweave exists to bring the voices of those congregations together to make a difference on behalf of all UUs who care about LGBTQ concerns. It is startling, however, how many congregations have yet to connect the dots between those two commitments! If you or your congregation has not yet joined Interweave, I sincerely hope you will link your faith to action by joining today. For $35, $50 or $100 you can make a difference. The more voices Interweave represents, the more we can do to serve congregations like yours. Join us! Susan Gore Interweave Membership Chair *Presidents: John Adams, John Quincy Adams, Millard Fillmore, Howard Taft and Thomas Jefferson (the half also claimed by Episcopalians); ACLU: Roger Nash Baldwin; ASPCA: Henry Bergh; NAACP: Mary White Ovington; Red Cross: Clara Barton; Southern Poverty Law Project: Morris Dees; Gannett publishing; Frank Gannett; NBC and RCA: Owen D. You.

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Interweave Continental, and Multicultural Growth and Witness Office of the UUA, host a reception for UUs attending Creating Change.

Susan and Maryka planned a surprise for Niscos 70th Birthday

Alex Kapitan represented Multicultural Growth and Witness Office of the UUA

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Ministers, First UU Church of Houston.

Choir Director and Choir,First UU Church of Houston.

Maryka and Nisco attended Sunday service at the First UU Church of Houston.

Maryka and Nisco had brunch with Susan Yarbrough and the congregation of the Houston UU church.

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Camp Aranu tiq

Unfortunately, most transgender youth cannot be their authentic selves in their communities (schools or camps.) Safety is an issue for them. Eighty-seven percent of transgender students were verbally harassed at school and fifty-three percent were physically attacked because of their gender expression (2009). Because of being bullied and feeling alone, many transgender youth attempt or commit suicide. Just imagine transgender youth spending a week together in the outdoors having fun! You can make it a reality! All donations are tax-deductable. For more information: www.camparanutiq.org Thank you for considering Interweave Continentals request. Tova Vitiello Interweave Continental board member

Dear members and friends of Interweave Continental, As a member of the Interweave Continental board, I am writing to you with a request. Members of Interweave Continental would like you and/or your congregation to consider making Camp Aranutiq one of your social justice focuses for this year. Interweave Continental is asking all Interweave Chapters to help send transgender youth to Aranutiq, a camp for transgender and gendervariant/gender-nonconforming youth (for more information, read the article on page 2 in the January 2014 edition of Interweave Connect.) From my point of view, this would be a meaningful way for your Welcoming Congregation to demonstrate caring and support for young people who would not be able to attend summer camp without financial help.

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Interweave Continental GA Awards for 2014

Interweave Sermon Award
Each year, Interweave Continental recognizes the best sermon addressing LGBTQ issues that was preached to a Unitarian Universalist congregation or preached in a seminary setting during the previous year (April 1 through March 31). The winner of the Interweave Continental Sermon Award receives a $250 prize, and is invited to deliver the winning sermon at the Interweave Continental Banquet at General Assembly. Individuals may submit their own sermons for consideration for the Interweave Continental Sermon Award or they may nominate sermons preached by others on LGBTQ issues. For further information about the Interweave Continental Sermon Contest, please write to interweavesermon@gmail.com

Mark DeWolfe Award

Each year, Interweave Continental confers the Mark DeWolfe Award on a Unitarian Universalist who has contributed substantially to improving the lives of LGBTQ people in a Unitarian Universalist setting or in the wider community. This award was established to honor the memory of the Reverend Mark DeWolfe, the first openly gay minister in the Unitarian Universalist Association to serve a congregation. The recipient of the Mark DeWolfe Award receives a $250 prize and is recognized at the Interweave Continental Banquet at General Assembly. Nominations for the Mark DeWolfe Award should include the nominees name and the name of the nominees UU congregation, as well as a detailed description of the nominees contributions to improving the lives of LGBTQ people. Nominations should also include the nominators name and contact information. For further information about the Mark DeWolfe Award, please write to dewolfeaward@gmail.

UUA New Logo

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Scott Olson leaning over the hood and Mrs. Swanson at the steering wheel at GSA Homecoming Parade

More Than a Math Teacher

encouraged us to keep fighting even when we thought we were cornered. After three years of battling an administration that wanted nothing more than for us to just go away, we finally achieved full recognition by the school board, and we were given the rights and privileges of a school-sanctioned group. In my last year as a senior, our attendance was regularly between thirty and forty students every week. Even after graduating, Mrs. Swanson and I remain friends. Queer advocacy and community-based activism has become a cornerstone of the work that I do today. It is the work that I look forward to doing after graduating college with a degree in Gender, Womens, and Sexuality Studies. I attribute a great deal of my confidence in working in this field as an activist to Mrs. Swanson. I also attribute my confidence in being openly and proudly queer to her hard work, positive energy, and persistent enthusiasm. Scott Olson North Shore Unitarian Church Deerfield, IL

ecause I have been so fortunate in my life to have many people who have made being a queer person a source of pride instead of shame, it was difficult to select just one person. However, one of these great people is Mrs. Jane Swanson, a math teacher at my high school. I never had a class with her, but when she agreed (enthusiastically, I might add) to be the faculty sponsor for the Gay-Straight Alliance that my friends and I were forming, I had no idea what an important advocate she would be for me and all the other queer students. Even with a public school administration as antagonistic as ours was, she never backed down from a challenge. When we first started meeting, we were required to have disclaimers on all of our materials and our posters stating that we were not affiliated with the high school. We were not allowed to publicize what the group was. We could only state that it existed. As you can imagine, our regular attendance was very small. Mrs. Swanson supported us both administratively and emotionally. She

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My Coming Out Story

he most important people to whom I came out were my parents. I came out to them when I was still early in the coming out stage. Because of this, I was very uncomfortable with my samesex attractions, and I worried how they would react to me if I came out to them. I knew that they had gay friends, but I didn't know how they would react to a bisexual son. I was especially worried about my father's reactions. In fact, I was so worried and nervousness that I became ill. I decided to tell them both at the same time. It happened when they came to visit me in my first year as an undergraduate student in college. I told them that I was having same-sex attractions. In response, my mother said one of the sweetest things that I've ever heard anyone say: "Honey, I just hope you haven't agonized over telling us ...." And my father, who I had worried so much about coming out to, said: "Richard, I love you, and I just want you to be happy." It was one of the happiest moments in my life. It also taught me that love is unconditional. People who truly love you will never stop loving you no matter what! Richard J. Thompson University of Missouri

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A Supportive Wife and A Supportive Congregation

course, because that is who I am inside! I no longer have to live behind an emotional barrier to protect myself from restrictive societal rules. As my true self, I started enjoying church more and I started attending with great regularity. I began to participate in church activities. Our minister, Rev. Robinson, encouraged me to co-chair the church Welcome Team. As a result, I became better integrated in activities and I got to know more people in the congregation. I have since served in other capacities, and today I am on the church Board of Trustees. I am so grateful for a supportive wife and congregation that allowed me to be myself. With their encouragement, I have been able to grow as a person. My life has profoundly changed. And of course, my interpersonal relationships have changed ... they have improved. In addition, my attitude about church has changed. Church now has more meaning because I feel better about myself. I can listen to our minister and fully embrace the inspiring words that are spoken. Most importantly, I can better live a life with the values that I believe. Karen Carlson First UU Church Houston, Texas

n 2007, I had been a member at First UU Church in Houston, Texas for about nine years before coming out to the congregation as a transgender male to female. Prior to my coming out at First Church, I was a rather dour man who attended church irregularly. I was quite introverted, so much so that I wouldnt even sing during the services! My very supportive wife had known that I wanted to transition at a time that was appropriate for the family. When I decided to live a significant portion of my life as a female, she pushed me into coming out at the church. The day that I, Karen, attended with my wife, I was totally accepted by the congregation. I knew the people at church would be somewhat supportive, but I never realized how much until I experienced it. There was not a single disparaging remark from anyone! Not only was I accepted, but I was embraced with genuine care and support that was well beyond my expectations. Over the past seven years, this acceptance has really helped to transform my life. Gradually, with this supportive community, I began to open up. I became a more pleasant and relaxed person. I could be who I knew I was. A number of my friends and my family told me that they liked me better as a woman than as a man. Of

Transfiguring Congregations
A Transgender Curriculum from Interweave Continental

Who is Transgender? Your brother? Your friend? Your doctor? Your minister? Your mother?

If you are interested in using this Curriculum in your congregation please email niscohappy@comcast.net

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I Am Grateful
I came out to Virginia. She didnt even flinch. She looked at me and said: Thats great, Susan, and to tell you the truth, Ive always thought that Im one, too. Here was Virginia, a married woman with a husband and six daughters, the pillar of her Baptist church, telling me that she had the heart of a womanloving-women. Her reaction went far beyond mere tolerance and acceptance. It was the emotional embrace and the blessing I had been wanting and needing for years. I cannot even begin to describe how much easier my life as a lesbian became after just one sentence from this remarkable woman. Every day, I am grateful for her. Susan Yarbrough First UU Church Houston, TX

y first sexual experience was with another woman. It happened during my first year in graduate school when I was twenty-one. The experience both delighted and scared me. Although I continued to date men my age, I knew my heart was really with women. However, Texas in the early 1970s was not a progressive place, and I decided to put my true self in a basement closet until I could come out safely. During my second year in law school, a classmate, Martha, introduced me to her mother. Virginia was a bright, funny, liberal, no-nonsense woman my mothers age. Virginia and I forged a wonderful cross-generational friendship. She encouraged and supported me in my plans to move to New York to practice criminal law. After I had been in New York for about a year and had gotten my bearings as a proud feminist and lesbian, I made a trip back to Texas to see old friends. It was then that

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(a love story about two aging lesbians)

"Cloudburst"

tella (Olympia Dukakis) and Dot (Brenda Fricker) are two aging lesbians who have lived together for thirty-one years. They share a home in Maine, overlooking the ocean. Stella, a tough butch who likes to wear a cowboy hat, takes care of Dot who has become legally blind. Dot is a sweet, plump woman with grey, curly hair and health issues. Both women are in their seventies. Wanting to inherit her grandmother's house, Molly (Kristen Booth) tricks Dot into giving her power of attorney. One day, she arrives with a court order. She tells her grandmother and Stella that it would be best for her grandmother to move into a nursing home. Stella throws Molly out. Oblivious to their actual relationship, Molly thinks her grandmother and Stella are two old women who share a house. She doesn't understand why Stella would become so angry. After all, she is doing what is best for her grandmother! When Dot is forced to live in the nursing home, Stella devises a plan to help Dot escape, and the two of them begin their road trip to Canada where they can become legally married. Stella tells Dot: "We'll drive to Canada and then we can get legally married and no one can separate us." On their way to Nova Scotia, they meet a hitchhiker named Prentice (Ryan Doucette). The three of them ride together in Stella's old pickup truck.

Stella is a foul mouth, butch lesbian who can be strong and combative and sensitive and funny. And she is fighting to stay with the woman she has loved for thirty-one years. Cloudburst is a romantic comedy. Thom Fitzgerald is both the director and writer (screenplay) of the movie. The film is an adaptation of his 2010 play. Cloudburst, the movie, premiered in 2011. Fitzgerald's film, Cloudburst, gives insight into aging and loving and not having any legal rights in a lesbian relationship. Even though there are serious and painful realities within this story, there is also much laughter. Cloudburst is a celebration of love. Tova Vitiello Interweave Connect, editor

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