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4/17/14, 1:55 PM
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NOTE: What youre about to read is my personal perception of how basic brain development and chemistry relates to core differences between masculine and feminine people. Not, Men and women, but Masculine and Feminine. Men can masculine or feminine, Women can be masculine or feminine, and they can both be both. I use the terms Men and Women only for convenience sake, but feel free to replace the word Man with Woman and visa versa. Im also in no way claiming this is true because its something that lies beyond the scope of scientific truth. Im just claiming that its my perception. If you agree with it, great. Find a way to use it. If you dont, great. Find an explanation that works for you. -
What do women want? Why are they so confusing? Whats wrong with them????????
If I had a dollar for every time this had been discussed in a pubs, on an internet forums, and thrown around quietly between mates, Id rolling around, throwing fistfuls of cash at playboy bunnies right now.
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If youre interested in seeing that, please forward your $1 to :-) But Im not rolling around in cash, so lets get on with this. Theres nothing wrong with women. And theres nothing confusing either. Understanding women is simple and straight forward. You just have to be able to see whats going on behind the surface. And when you do, everything makes sense. So, to give you that knowledge to make understanding women simple and straight forward, Im going to break it all down for you today. Im going to go over the very basic fundamentals and the expand it all out so you can see exactly how this core element effects every area of womens live and why they dont make sense to you.
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seem to approach this idea of attraction like its a logical decision; like a woman wakes up one day and thinks You know what, every time I see a guy who has a large bank balance, Im going to get wet. It doesnt work like that. Attraction isnt a thought. Its a feeling. Women want the things they do because of the way they make them feel, just like you do. The key to finding the core is understanding that its about the feeling, not the object. So how do you think these things, this power, money, or fame, make women feel? Steven sat back in his chair. He had to think for this one. Ill tell you what; let me make it easier for you. How do you think a woman feels when shes around a guy with power? Well, if hes got power I guess shed feel safe like everything would be okay. She wouldnt have to worry about anything. If hes got power then he can take care of her. Shed feel looked aftersafe and secure. Good, now how about a guy with money? He thought for a second. Yeah, I guess itd kind of be the same. If hes got money then he can provide for her. She wouldnt have to worry about how she was getting home or getting stuck anywhere because he could look after it. Shed feel looked after, and safe. What about these mythical Alpha Males that the PUAs seem to be so caught up on? He smiled and nodded his head. Yeah, itd be the same. Safe, secure, looked after. I get it. Its about feeling. That makes sense. He sat back and thought. He seemed to be getting it. So its all the same feeling, just through different avenues. The feeling youre talking about here is one I call certainty. Its the feeling she gets when shes certain that everythings going to be okaywhen she knows that she doesnt have to worry about any issues, she doesnt need to take control of any of the specifics and she can just relax and be free. Its not to say that she couldnt take control if she wanted to, its just that she doesnt have to. This is at the core of just about every single one of these desires. When she feels safe, secure, free, certain that everythings going to be okay, she feels happy. Does that make sense?
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This is where I lost most people Hang on. You just said people crave certainty, and now youre saying that they crave uncertainty. Did you sprinkle a little too much crack on your cereal this morning? Can it ever really be too much? His blank stare told me that he was actually asking a serious question. Okay. Uncertainty isnt the opposite of certainty. Certainty is knowing that everything is going to be okay. Uncertainty is the not knowing whats going to happen next. Its excitement and surprise at what could be around the corner. Its not knowing whats going to happen next. Its anticipation. Think about it like a roller coaster. Certainty is the perception that everythings going to be okay, knowing that the roller coaster is going to get you back to the start in one piece. Uncertainty is not knowing whats going to happen on your trip around the track. Does that make sense? He took a minute to process it. Oh, I get it. Certainty is about feeling safe in the present moment and
Like uncertainty is not knowing whats going to happen in the future.
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Every single baby starts out the same gender in the womb. Theres no difference between male and female babies, were all female. I did, you did, Sylvester Stallone did, and we all did. We all start out in the world as a little girl and its not till eight weeks that things start to change. The hormone that drives a babys development StumbleUpon in the womb up to the week eight mark is estrogen. This is the key female hormone and is a growth Submit promoting hormone. In a babys brain, it promotes the development of huge amounts of connections between the two hemispheres of the brain and channels development to the communication and emotional memory areas of the brain. In a female baby, this development continues all the way through their gestation period and continues to drive their development all the way through their life. This isnt the case in male babies. At the week eight mark, a huge shift happens. Estrogen production is 8 reduced dramatically and testosterone floods into the brain. This starts to produce huge changes. A lot of the connections between the two hemispheres are cut and instead of directing resources to the communication areas, theyre instead directed to the aggression and sex drive areas of the brain. These are the areas that drive competitiveness and action. The difference between the two paths isnt small. Its huge. And it shapes the way females and males engage their world, right from birth. I could see that Steven understood, but his blank stare told me he was about to say something. Okay, sure, this is all really cool information but how does it help me give her the certainty shes looking for so I can be that guy?
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The key point to keep in mind is that certainty is the perception that everythings going to be okay. Its not that everything is okay; its that as far as you can tell through the limited tools that you have available, that everything is going to be sweet. The reason Im telling you all this is that this brain stuff, these inherent biological differences between males and females mean the dominant way that a female and male person develop their perception of certainty is different. His mind was working overtime. I much prefer for guys to work things out for themselves so I let him stew for a minute. So youre saying that the fact that the dominant area of a womans brain is the communication area and the dominant area of a mans brain is the competitive area means that we get our perception of certainty from different places? Thats exactly what Im saying. But before we go on, I have to mention one thing. After a baby is born, a whole raft of external factors come into play and shape how a persons brain is structured and where they get their sense of certainty from, so were going to have to narrow this down. Now, obviously people dont fit neatly into small classification boxes but for the sake of this example, Im going to paint two ends of a very broad spectrum, and I want you to tell me whether you prefer women closer to one end or the other. Are you more attracted to career driven women whore really aggressive, really into football, like to get in fist fights, drink beer, and ride in bikie gangs, or are you into pretty, giggly, delicate, feminine women? Which end of the spectrum are the women youre attracted to closer to? He looked cautiously around the cafe before he leaned forward and whispered, Umm. Is this going on record? I leaned forward and did my best impersonation of an interrogating police officer Yes. Whatever you say is going in your filefor life. Oh, he said, sitting back, upright in his chair. Well, definitely not at either end but more towards the feminine side I guess. Okay, good. I said, smiling. After birth, there are some women who strongly develop their masculine side by seeking their sense of certainty through taking action. As youre allegedly not attracted to them, lets continue talking about feminine women who rely more on their communication areas. The dominant way that a feminine woman develops her perceptions of the world, and therefore, her sense of certainty, is through communication.
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But if you actually want to understand women, you need to read it. So go back up to the top and read it. Now that youve done that, can you see why women dont make sense? Feminine women operate from a fundamentally different place than Masculine men. Masculine men rely on their ability to take action and make things happen to experience certainty. Feminine women rely on communication to experience certainty. It might seem like a small difference but a difference in the basic and most fundamental way you engage life has significant ramifications for the rest of your life. Heres a few examples of things that women do that seem completely foreign and pointless to most guys but make absolute sense to feminine women:
NOTE: There are always more examples that Im sure you guys can come up with. If an example isnt listed here, try applying the different mechanisms for certainty to that situation and see what you come up with. NOTE: Im going to focus on feminine women here because Im making a basic assumption that youre attracted to feminine women. If youre looking for a Masculine woman to take care of you, then just flip this all around and use it to understand yourself more than her. NOTE: Ive taken most of these from the list you guys created here. There were a lot on there that werent actually feminine or masculine characteristics. They were characteristics of related to different pathways to certainty more than the mechanisms for certainty. Ive left them out because theyre not relevant to this discussion but if you want to understand them more, you can learn about the different pathways to certainty in Endgame. NOTE: I talk about Masculine and Feminine at two ends of a very broad spectrum. Like any spectrum, there are very few people who sit at either end of this spectrum. Most people sit somewhere inside the borders of the spectrum but most people lean at least a little to one side. NOTE: Very few people are either ALWAYS Masculine or ALWAYS Feminine. People fluctuate throughout the month, week, day, hour, and even minute. But everyone has a natural essence that is their default.
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To masculine Men, feminine Women seem indecisive. But, theyre not indecisive, they just have a different value system. For a masculine Man, having a decision made and getting a job done allows them to experience more certainty. For a feminine Woman, making sure that everyone is on board and likes the decision allows them to experience more certainty. Feminine people arent indecisive, they just dont really care what decisions are made. Their certainty isnt based on what decision is made and the ramifications of that decision. Their certainty is based on what people think about that decision. They care more about everyone being looked after and happy than getting a job done. Asking a feminine Woman to be decisive is the same as asking a masculine Man to have a conversation without reaching any conclusions.
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Asking a feminine Woman to be quick and decisive on the phone is like telling a masculine guy that he needs to stay on the phone for 2 hours, regardless of if he has anything to talk about, for no particular reason.
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4. Why do women stay with guys who dont treat them right?
What kind of person do you think would make a woman feel more safe, secure, and certain? a. A powerful, tough, and strong guy who says what he thinks, does what he wants, and is willing to stand up for what he believes in b. A weak, insecure, needy guy who changes who he is to get peoples approval, doesnt stand up for what he believes in, doesnt have the balls to do what he wants, and hides behind excuses The answer is pretty obvious. But what about if guy a also treated her badly? What if he slept with other women and put her down? Sure, shes obviously not going to experience as much certainty as if he was loving, caring, and nurturing but its still going to be far more than if she was with guy b. For a Masculine person, staying with someone who treats you badly is a stupid and pointless decision. For a Feminine person, whilst it still seems stupid on the surface, theres still a lot ot be gained from being with someone who treats you badly.
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Once a masculine Man passes through puberty, the hormone fluctuations he experiences on a month to month basis are pretty gradual and pretty insignificant. This is not the case for Women. From the a Woman hits puberty to the moment she goes through menopause, her hormone levels fluctuate dramatically and completely independently of whats going on in her life, whats happening around her, and how she is currently feeling. She could feel fine one day and a complete wreck the next without ANYTHING in her external environment or internal psyche changing, just because shes further along in her menstrual cycle. Can you imagine what that would feel like? To wake up every day without any control over how you felt? If that was your every day reality, would you want to be constantly reassured? I know I would.
NOTE: On a complete and personal side note, believe this is why wedding rings are so important to women. Theyre a visual affirmation that someone loves them, will support them, and is on their team. I dont think theyre a patriarchal symbol of feminine oppression and ownership. I think theyre a loving gesture of support and security. But thats just me.
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based on your communication. If you appear to be strong and confident and communicate to her that everything is going to be ok, she experiences certainty. But its not enough to just experience certainty in calm and cool situations. If shes going to experience real certainty, she has to see how you handle yourself under pressure. If you stay the same confident, strong, directed guy under pressure, then she experiences more certainty. The tougher the challenges youre able to withstand and still stay strong and confident, the more certainty she will experience. Testing is a feminine Womans way to see how you handle yourself under pressure. Its her way of seeing how you take on challenges. The reason Feminine Women test constantly is because its just another form of reassuring. Theyre testing because communication is constantly changing and so to experience certainty, they need constant feedback.
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Saying to Feminine Woman that she looks ugly in those pants is the same as preventing a Masculine Man from being able to build the shelter he needs to stay warm and dry. This is why feminine Women are sensitive.
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NOTE: Just to reiterate a point I made at the start, there are very few people who are either completely Masculine or completely feminine, and even if they were, I dont know anyone who stays Masculine and feminine all the time. People fluctuate depending on all kinds of different elements in their life. You might have a very Masculine moment and find certainty solely through action. Then, after youve done that, you might slip into a Feminine moment and need find certainty through communication. I know that the day after I play football, I search for certainty in communication. I just feel so completely spent that communication seems like the only right way. That usually lasts for a day or so before I move back into my natural state which is certainty through action. You might be the same, you might be completely different. Who knows. This article isnt supposed to be a definitive guide on how you should live your life. Its purpose is just to illuminate the difference between Masculine and feminine people and why they are so different.
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In Summary
The reason that Feminine women dont make sense to Masculine Men is because they have a basic, biological difference in the way they experience what theyre looking for in life. This basic difference is the cause of the completely different way that masculine and feminine people engage activities and is responsible for the confusion. Its the reason why feminine women are so indecisive, why they spend so long on the phone, why they dont approach Men, why they dont stay on topic, why they care about the opinions of their girlfriends so much and why they like bad boys and why they dont like nice guys. And this difference is also why all these things seem so pointless and confusing to masculine Guys.
What now? What do I do with all this brand new and shiny information?
Thats a very good question. The simple answer is: use it to your advantage. Take it all and run with it. No, Im not talking about finding ways to use women. Im talking about finding ways to create the life you want. This about it like this: When do you most enjoy time around women? a. When theyre excited, happy, free, and sexy b. When theyre lost, insecure, and doubt themselves Im guessing its the former. When are women the most excited, free, happy and sexual? When they feel safe, secure and certain. Now that you know what you want in women (flirty, playful, sexual women), how to make women more like that (help them feel more certain), and how to give them what they need to be like that (through communication), start giving it to them. Encourage her to spend lots of time talking with her girl friends, dont ask her to make decisions or validate
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her decisions when she does, develop your own internal strength so you pass her tests without even realising you were being tested, initiate action so she doesnt have to, open up and share things about yourself that shes afraid to share so she doesnt fear the rejection of doing so, etc Help her create a space where she feels loved, accepted, and beautiful and appreciate all the beautiful gifts that she gives you in return. And watch EVERY problem youve ever faced with women just melt away. If youve made it this far and want to know how you can become the kind of Man who radiates strength and confidence and women just naturally feel safe, secure, appreciated, and sexy around, then you need to read Endgame. It outlines the three different pathways to certainty, helps you identify which one youre currently using, what you will find if you change, and gives you the simple tools to make that change. You can check out all the details here: Become the Man of your dreams
Leigh
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