2 Vol.
XXX, Issue 6 | Wednesday, November 26, 2008
news
Cancer Center Director Hired Amidst
Rising Allegations
By Najib Aminy
Cancer accounts for nearly a quar-
ter of the American mortalities each
year, as reported by the American Can-
cer Society. The Stony Brook University
Cancer Center is designed to provide
the best care and work towards the pre-
vention, diagnosis, treatment and cur-
ing of cancer, according to their mission
statement. Aspiring to become a Na-
tional Cancer Institute-designated
Comprehensive Cancer Center, Stony
Brook University formally hired Dr.
Timothy J. Kinsella as the new Director
of the Cancer Center on October 8.
Appointed by Dr. Richard
N. Fine, Dean of the Stony
Brook School of Medicine, Dr.
Kinsella will take charge of the
two-year-old center, with plans
to collaborate with both Cold
Spring Harbor Laboratory and
Brookhaven National Labs.
The Center aims to continue
basic cancer research pro-
grams, expand therapeutic
cancer-related services and
provide educational outreach
to the community. “Dr. Kin-
sella is an outstanding physi-
cian with considerable
administrative experience,”
said Dean Fine. “In choosing
him to lead our program, we
have formulated a vision for
development of an National
Cancer Institute (NCI)-desig-
nated Comprehensive Cancer
Center that will serve as a
major clinical and research enterprise
for Long Island.”
Prior to his hiring at Stony Brook,
Dr. Kinsella spent two decades working
at the University of Wisconsin from
1987 to 1997. Shortly after, he joined
University Hospitals of Case Western in
Cleveland from 1997 to 2007. Recently,
Dr. Kinsella worked at the NCI, where
he was appointed as a member of the
Board of Scientific Advisors. Dean
Fine’s appointment of Dr. Kinsella is no
doubt an effort to make Stony Brook a
nationally recognized comprehensive
cancer center. However, allegations have
surfaced against Dr. Kinsella during his
time at both UW and UH, and very re-
cently, the New York Trial Lawyers As-
sociation has delved into the process of
investigating further information on Dr.
Kinsella.
While working at the University of
Wisconsin, Dr. Kinsella, who served as
deputy director of the Cancer Center
before leaving, was investigated by the
university after an anonymous com-
plaint was sent to Chancellor David
Ward, UW Dean of Medical School
Philip Farrell, and hospital billing ad-
ministrator Dr. Scott Springman. In the
letter, dated November 1996, a widower,
whose wife was a patient under Kin-
sella’s care, brought up allegations per-
taining to improper medical billing.
According to the anonymous widower,
Dr. Kinsella had billed his wife for radi-
ation simulations while Kinsella himself
was absent from the actual treatment
procedure. The widower discussed his
allegation with a neighbor who was an
employee at UW. The letter states that
the UW employee “has a list of several
hundred total patients dating back into
the late 1980s,” who had radiation sim-
ulation done by Dr. Kinsella on specific
dates when there were records confirm-
ing that he was out of the state of Wis-
consin.
The anonymous letter sparked an
investigation by both the Department of
Health and Human Services, which reg-
ulates Medicare, and the University of
Wisconsin itself. Lisa Brunette, a
spokeswoman from the University of
Wisconsin confirmed that both investi-
gations took place. The DHHS con-
firmed that no action was taken on Dr.
Kinsella after their investigation, since
Dr. Kinsella was not excluded from re-
ceiving Medicare benefits. On the con-
trary, the University of Wisconsin probe
discovered that Dr. Kinsella received
$5,815 from improper medical billings.
The probe looked into a total of 247
medical services while Dr. Kinsella was
out of town from 1995 to 1996. Of these
247 services, 66 were found to involve
improper documentation, and 19 were
discovered for improper billing re-
ported by The Wisconsin State Journal.
Dr. Kinsella agreed to pay the $5,815 he
received from the improper billings
back to the patients as well as $15,000
out of the $22,000 for the cost of the six-
month investigation conducted by the
University of Wisconsin. “It was just his
idiosyncratic way of summarizing
things,” said Michael Weiden of Madi-
son, WI law firm Quarles and Brady,
who was Dr. Kinsella’s lawyer at the
time. “There is less than meets the eye,”
Weiden said to Wisconsin reporters.
“Doctors keep personal notes in all
sorts of ways—on Post-its, index cards,
little notebooks—and the documents in
which Kinsella made these notations
were not the official hospital medical
records.”
A little more than ten years later,
Dr. Kinsella confirmed that an investi-
gation had taken place. He said during a
phone interview about the probe,
“There was an issue of an anonymous
complaint of issues with respect to
billing that turned out to be false.” Ac-
cording to Dr. Kinsella, the investiga-
tion was proven false by a review of the
records through the UW hospital. Nei-
ther Brunette nor John C. Dowling, a
UW attorney could confirm whether or
not the allegations in the probe were
later proven false.
UW Medical School officials rec-
ommended disciplinary action to be
filed to Chancellor Ward. He stated in a
letter dated May 9, 1997, that there was
adequate cause for disciplinary action,”
The Capital Times reported. However,
no action was filed because Ward rec-
ognized Dr. Kinsella’s agreeing to pay
for both the improper billings and with-
drawing his name from re-appointment
as department chair, as both responsi-
ble and appropriate. Regarding the
probed allegations, Dr. Kinsella said,
“Those were investigated. No allega-
tions were found. It was well over a
decade ago. That is old news.”
During his time at UW, Dr. Kinsella
allegedly left an unfavorable impression
on his colleagues. These colleagues
would later go to a former UW clinical
administrator officer from the Depart-
ment of Oncology. The former
administrative official wished
not to reveal their name, as the
individual wishes no longer to
be involved in any way with Dr.
Kinsella. Alleging that Dr. Kin-
sella was battling with an infe-
riority complex, the former
UW clinical administrator said
that Dr. Kinsella “was very
combative for other positions
with other heads of depart-
ments and [had] a way of irri-
tating people.” When Dr.
Kinsella made the list of the Top
10 Docs in the Madison Maga-
zine, the surgeon oncologists
were livid that his name was in-
cluded, according to the former
clinical administrator.
In addition, many UW em-
ployees would approach the
former clinical administrator in
regards to some of Dr. Kinsella’s behav-
ior. “A lot of people would come to me
and complain about Dr. Kinsella,” the
former administrator said, adding that
it was mostly about his billing proce-
dures and even at times about his sex-
ual promiscuity. The former clinical
administrator alleged instances where
Dr. Kinsella would excuse himself from
meetings and conferences to ren-
dezvous with women.
Though the allegation regarding
Dr. Kinsella’s sexual misadventures re-
mains unconfirmed, numerous un-
named doctors were quoted in The
Wisconsin State Journal regarding Dr.
Kinsella’s medical billing procedures. “It
became increasingly nauseating for us
to see the Kinsella patients have three or
four times the length of the normal pro-
cedures,” said one unnamed doctor in
the Wisconsin State Journal. The doctor
 3 News
wished to remain anonymous, because
Dr. Kinsella could influence the change
of the salaries, promotions and tenure
of eight doctors and nine medical re-
searchers at the time. “It became un-
bearable to watch the billing-directed
care—it was always directed at maxi-
mized billing,” the doctor added. The
former UW clinical administrator said,
“The number of improper billings done
by Kinsella as reported in the articles
was under quoted by 10 times the
amount.”
Before leaving UW, the majority of
the members of the Human Oncology
Department voiced their concerns over
Dr. Kinsella in a vote of no confidence
taken in 1996. The vote of no confi-
dence pertained to Kinsella’s adminis-
trative role as Chairman of the Human
Oncology Department and uncon-
nected with the investigation taking
place by UW. A vote of confidence is
procedural and taken annually at UW.
According to the Wisconsin State Jour-
nal, departmental researchers sup-
ported Kinsella, but doctors voted
against him due to excessive and ag-
gressive billings, about which one doc-
tor said, “There were some concerns
about how he practiced in terms of very
aggressive billings.”
Dr. Kinsella responded to the doc-
tor’s critiques, saying in the phone in-
terview, “I think I am recognized
nationally and internationally for my
clinical expertise in cancer treatments.
It stands alone. I’ve published nearly
330 articles and am looked on as an ex-
pert in many areas of radiation oncol-
ogy.”
After withdrawing his name for re-
appointment as chairman of UW’s
Human Oncology Department, Dr.
Kinsella remained at UW teaching, be-
fore joining University Hospitals Case
Medical Center in 1997 as Chairman of
the Department of Radiation Oncology.
Over a span of 10 years, Dr. Kinsella
and his laboratory team researched bio-
chemical and molecular effects of ion-
izing radiation and different types of
radiosensitizing drugs in human tumor
cells, according to Alicia Reale, a UH
spokeswoman.
While chairman at UH, Dr. Kinsella
specialized in gastrointestinal cancers,
lymphoma, melanoma and sarcomas
among other cancers. Thus, when can-
cer survivor Amelia Weber was diag-
nosed with squamous cell carcinoma of
the lip, she turned to Dr. Kinsella for
treatment of her cancer in 2006. “My
first impression of him was that he was
a dirty old man. However, I told myself
that I was mistaken in that view, as Uni-
versity Hospitals of Cleveland would
never have that kind of person in their
employ, nor as the Chairman of the De-
partment of Radiation Oncology,” she
said in an email interview. “For those
Vol. XXX, Issue 6 | Wednesday, November 26, 2008
reasons, I granted
Dr. Kinsella far
too much trust,
and became his
victim of sexual
assault.”
Weber alleges
that Dr. Kinsella
behaved inappro-
priately while
conducting phys-
ical examinations,
such as smiling
while touching
sensitive areas of
her body. Addi-
tionally, Weber al-
leges numerous
instances where
Dr. Kinsella phys-
ically touched her
in sensitive areas
of the body.
Weber alleges that
Kinsella con-
ducted these procedures by reaching his
hands underneath her clothes, all
against her will. For example, Weber al-
leges that Dr. Kinsella asked her to un-
dress. Howeverm when she refused,
Kinsella proceeded with the examina-
tion. Secondly, Weber alleges that she
was billed a total of 35 treatments while
she only received 33 and was stunned
when she learned about Kinsella’s past
at UW. As a result of her experience,
Weber filed a complaint to the Ohio
State Medical Board (OSMB) through
her attorney, Wade Sanders.
In the complaint, there are a num-
ber of instances where Weber alleges
that Kinsella touched her inappropri-
ately, made lewd comments and called
her to solicit for sex. The complaint was
sent to the OSMB in March of 2007 and
is pending as of October 15, 2008 in an
audio recorded confirmation. Further-
more, the Disciplinary Counsel of the
Supreme Court of Ohio confirmed that
Weber’s complaint was pending on Au-
gust 25, 2008, after Weber filed a com-
plaint regarding one of Kinsella’s
attorneys. Amy Stone, the Assistant Dis-
ciplinary Counsel of the SCO wrote in a
letter addressed to Weber, “We typically
do not conduct investigations while a
grievant and the attorney about whom
s/he complained are involved in a pend-
ing case or other agency investigation.”
Only once Weber’s complaint with the
OSMB is processed and concluded
would Weber be able to file a complaint
to the Disciplinary Counsel, according
to Stone. “Once the Board proceedings
and any related litigation concluded,
presumably with decisions that do not
restrict their disclosure to this office,
you may re-submit your grievance,” said
Stone in the letter.
According to Reale, Dr. Kinsella
stepped down from his position as
Chairman at UH in October 2007,
months after Weber’s complaint was
sent. “He stepped down as Chairman at
UHCMC to pursue his research in the
Department of Radiation Oncology at
Case Western Reserve University
School of Medicine. He continued to
see patients at UHCMC until May
2008,” Reale said in an email.
Reale confirmed that an independ-
ent investigation took place at UH after
Weber’s complaint was filed to the
OSMB. UH concluded that Weber’s al-
legations were unsubstantiated. In the
phone interview, Dr. Kinsella denied
having a pending action complaint filed
against him through the Ohio State
Medical Board as well as having any
complaint filed against him through the
OSMB at anytime.
Weber’s complaint regarding Dr.
Kinsella’s attorney is tied to a possible
violation of Health Insurance Portabil-
ity and Accountability of 1996
(HIPAA). After filing her complaint
with the OSMB, Weber looked into the
option of filing a civil suit against Dr.
Kinsella. Ben Barrett, Weber’s attorney
for possible civil action, met with Dr.
Kinsella’s attorneys, Melvin Resnick and
Jodi Thomaszewski on May 6, 2008,
during which Dr. Kinsella’s attorneys
said they wanted to “resolve the issue,”
according to Weber. In this meeting, ac-
cording to Barrett’s meeting summary
sent to Weber, Dr. Kinsella’s attorneys
provided sensitive and confidential in-
formation in their defense. According
to the meeting summary signed by Bar-
rett, Dr. Kinsella’s attorneys were well
aware of Weber’s allegations through
the OSMB. In their defense, the attor-
neys went through 500 medical records
to show that the body examinations Dr.
Kinsella conducts were consistent.
Dr. Kinsella’s attorney also provided
information regarding Weber’s confi-
dential patient satisfaction survey, in
which Weber allegedly gave high marks
to both Dr. Kinsella and another male
doctor while giving negative criticism
towards a female nurse. According to
the HHS, patient surveys are to be kept
confidential.
The HHS also stated that covered
entities may disclose protected health
information during judicial or admin-
istrative proceedings, administrative re-
views or licensing and credentialing
activities. A covered entity, by definition
of HIPAA, is “a health plan, health care
clearinghouse, and a health care
provider who transmits any health in-
formation in electronic form in con-
nection with a transaction covered by
this subchapter.” A covered entity may
also include a business associate, which
is defined as a person who performs ac-
tivity regulated on behalf of a covered
entity. “Business associates exclude a
person who is part of the covered en-
tity’s workforce.”
When Barrett met with Dr. Kin-
sella’s attorneys, there was no judicial
case or hearing set. “The confidential
patient information that Dr. Kinsella
and his attorneys removed from UH
and used in a willful and malicious way
to harm me, or intimidate me, clearly
was not intended to be used with regard
to the OH Medical Board investigations
rather to a potential civil suit,” said
Weber.
As a result, Weber has filed a com-
plaint to the Department of Health and
Human Services, Civil Rights Division.
According to Kathleen Fimple, a
HIPAA team leader in the division of
Civil Rights, Weber’s complaint was re-
KINSELLA continued on page 8
 4 Vol. XXX, Issue 6 | Wednesday, November 26, 2008
news
Extreme Medical “State Jumpin”!
By Jonathan Singer
Each year in New York State, as
many as 7,000 people die in hospitals as
a result of medical negligence. Between
300 and 400 doctors are punished each
year, and about 8,000 complaints are
filed. While physicians at times try to
cover up their mistakes and some prob-
lems are not reported, legally all of the
reported information is available for
consumers to know.
Blair Horner, executive director of
NYPIRG, points to the New York State
Physician Profile Website, a site that is
run by the New York State Department
of Health. “It’s a great website, but no-
body knows it exists,” says Horner.
This is because when legislation
was passed in 2000 to create the website,
those lobbying on behalf of physicians
were able to kill a provision that would
have required the URL be posted in
doctor’s offices and hospitals.
On the national level, there is the
National Practitioner Data Bank
(NPDb). The website is hosted by the
US Department of Health And Human
Services and provides information re-
garding issues such as reported cases of
malpractice. “[Before the NPDb was
created] the phenomenon of ‘state
jumping’ was legion,” says Arthur Levin,
Director of the advocacy organization
the Center for Medical Consumers, re-
garding the high occurrence of these
cases. But federal regulations prohibit
NPDb information from being released
to the public. Only health care entities
such as hospitals, state licensing boards
and approved private practices are eli-
gible to receive a paid NPDb account.
“Hospitals, state licensing boards,
HMOs, they are supposed to check be-
fore giving people credentials,” says
Horner. In New York State, issuing a
medical license is the responsibil-
ity of the State Education Depart-
ment, as opposed to the
Department of Health. “States do
this differently,” says Levin.
Also, a characteristic of New
York is the fact that reports of past
actions can trigger an investiga-
tion, but do not necessarily stop
the license from going forward.
Basic questions regarding past
convictions are on the application
for a medical license. Sections 10
thru 14 on New York’s Application
for Licensure and First Registra-
tion deal with crime. Section 12
asks: “Has any licensing or disci-
plinary authority refused to issue
you a license or ever revoked, an-
nulled, cancelled, accepted surren-
der of, suspended, placed on
probation, refused to renew a pro-
fessional license or certificate held
by you now or previously, or ever
fined, censured, reprimanded or
otherwise disciplined you?” Levin
says, “In some states, answering
that question in the affirmative
stops the process.”
Horner says that the largest
area of malpractice lies in misper-
scribing drugs, which accounts for
20 to 25 percent of medical errors. Yes, we’re doctors. And, yes, we
“New York seems to pay pretty
good attention to what goes on in state jump. We don’t think
other states,” says Levin, adding
that in New York 40 percent of
there’s anything wrong with it.
medical discipline cases are based All our friends do it. Many people
on actions taken in another juris-
diction. “You cannot presume any- don’t realize how extreme a habit
thing about a doctor,” he says.
Today, Levin cannot say ex- state jumping is. Anyway, in order
actly how common “state jump-
ing” is. “Many doctors are only
for us to fuel this extreme
licensed in one state,” he says, lifestyle, we drink tons of
adding that doctors don’t need a li-
cense to do health policy work. Mountain Dew! Do the dew!
The Stony Brook Press
A History of Our Very Own HSC
By Laura Cooper
Stony Brook University Medical
Center is the primary treatment facility
for residents of Suffolk County. The
center houses research facilities as well
as classrooms for instruction in numer-
ous subjects, including nursing. The
hospital is also home to a treatment
center with just over 500 beds for its pa-
tients. From pregnancies to allergic re-
actions, the medical center is the
primary option for most residents and
since it is a public hospital, it has be-
come a haven for those without insur-
ance. This is especially apparent
because four East End hospitals are as-
sociated with, and transfer their patients
to, Stony Brook Medical Center when
the diagnosis is beyond their means.
However, the past couple of years have
brought attention to mismanagement in
the hospital, including misdiagnosis
that has led to deaths—especially in-
volving their pediatric practices. The
hospital has been under investigation
and cited by the Department of Health
numerous times, and though lately the
center has managed to stay out of the
spotlight, its grim past leaves the future
of the Stony Brook Medical Center un-
certain.
In 2005, a year before the New York
State Health Department closed the Pe-
diatric Cardiac Treatment Center citing
“imminent danger to health and safety,”
three children died under the care of the
Stony Brook University Medical Center.
One child died as a result of getting
twenty sevent times worth the dosage of
medication needed, another died after
Yo, HSC! Holla’ Back, Why Dontcha?
In this issue’s lead cover article, you
can see that there have been numerous
allegations that have surfaced after the
hiring of the University’s new Director
of the Cancer Center, Dr. Timothy Kin-
sella.
However, we are now focused on
the Health Science Center itself. We
don’t know what Dr. Kinsella’s future
holds. In fact, that may not even be the
major question in a few weeks. We’ve
spoken with Dr. Kinsella. We would like
to speak with him again, in the future.
He has cooperated with us. The folks in
HSC haven’t.
After weeks of attempting to sit
down with either Dr. Fine or Dr.
not receiving adequate pre-operation
procedures for adenoid surgery and the
third died after waiting a week for a sur-
geon to operate on a heart problem after
being born prematurely. Stony Brook
University Medical Center did not
transfer the waiting child, but rather, left
him while other facilities with a full-
time staff could have operated on the
baby.
A year later, another case brought
the hospital back into the spotlight after
a six year-old boy from Mastic, William
Gonzalez, died under the hospital’s care.
After being transferred from an East
End hospital in Brookhaven, Gonzalez
was treated at Stony Brook Medical
Center three separate times before his
eventual death at the hospital. Gonza-
lez, a first grader, was sent to the hospi-
tal and treated for reflux after an x-ray
Strongwater, two major players of the
HSC, we still haven’t gotten any sort of
straight answer from them. Ms. Weber
did not receive any sort of substantial
response from either of the doctors, ei-
ther, after sending them letters. We at
The Stony Brook Press have gone
through University Media Relations,
hand-delivered letters of intent to the
doctors, and spoken directly with their
assistants and secretaries, but we still
haven’t been able to get them to open up
for even five minutes. We have provided
them ample time for response. They
have known what we are publishing,
and yet still they remain quiet.
We want the HSC to talk to us
revealed that he had an enlarged heart.
A state report on the matter stated,
“There is no documented evidence that
the heart problem was addressed.” Since
then, the hospital has implemented the
“P.E.A.S” System, or Pediatric Early Ad-
dressing Scores, which, among other
things, monitors a patient’s heart and
breathing in the hopes that no symp-
toms can be misdiagnosed. Gonzalez’s
father responded positively to the pro-
gram remarking to Newsday that he will
be satisfied, “If my son’s death at Stony
Brook was not in vain and if this [sys-
tem] hopefully will not let another child
or adult die.”
In the first set of lawsuits against the
Medical Center, parents of patients in
its Pediatric Cardiac Center sued after
their children were mistreated follow-
ing their diagnosis of heart birth defects
about this. In fact, we don’t see the sense
in the HSC not speaking out on the sub-
ject. It’s in your best interest, HSC! You
need to have your say. Because, as it
stands right now, you hired someone
with a questionable past for an incredi-
bly important position in our Univer-
sity, and we need to hear more than the
simple, stock press releases you’ve sent
us these past few months.
Shortly after the letters of intention
were delivered to the HSC, we at The
Press received an anonymous phone-
call from someone working in the
Health Science Center. This call in-
formed us that the one hundred copies
of Issue 5, Volume 30 of The Press,
News 5
and instead treated for stomach prob-
lems. Stony Brook University Medical
Center was the one hospital in Suffolk
County at the time that treated children
with these specific problems. The
charges against the hospital of this al-
leged misguided treatment were
dropped this October after the health
department’s investigation. Parents of
patients who almost lost their lives at
the hands of the cardiac center still
band together in believing that if their
children stayed at Stony Brook, they
wouldn’t be alive today.
After it was announced that the
medical center was responsible for
nineteen violations in pediatric surgery
and seventeen violations involving
overlooking symptoms and overdoses
in 2006 alone, a new Chief Executive,
Steven L. Strongwater, took over the
hospital in December 2006 and contin-
ues to monitor the hospital’s care today.
Stony Brook University President,
Shirley Strum Kenny, has also called for
additional changes in the hospital’s staff
and procedures and has commissioned
a blue ribbon committee to research
and address its findings of the faults in
the Stony Brook Medical Center.
Though lately it seems it is business
as usual at the Stony Brook Medical
Center, it is unclear what the future
holds for this hospital, which serves
400,000 patients per year. The hospital
remains under investigation, and its
treatment facilities are regularly as-
sessed. Though originally the Medical
Center attempted to restart the Pedi-
atric Cardiac Center in the hospital, the
treatment center remains closed indef-
initely.
which had just been delivered to their
building, were being removed from our
racks. Not only is that illegal, being theft
of Undergraduate Student property, but
it’s also rather suspicious.
Our email address is sbpress-
news@gmail.com. Our office phone
number is 631-632-6451. We’re located
in the Union building basement, room
060, if you are bold enough to come
down to talk. Our editors and writers
are always available. So, open up, HSC!
As of this moment, we don’t think
you’re hiding anything. But if you keep
up this tight-lipped act, our outlook on
the whole situation may change.
 6 Vol. XXX, Issue 6 | Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Editorial Board
Executive Editor
editorials
James Laudano
Managing Editor
Emma Kobolakis
The SSK Countdown, Up In
Associate Editor
Najib Aminy
Business Manager
Katie Knowlton
Yo’ Face!
Production Manager Hello, dear readers, and welcome Fed up over a number of factors, ads in The New York Times.”
Tia Mansouri
back to the Shirley Strum Kenny 14 over one hundred faculty members in Perhaps most glaring of all, Presi-
News Editors Years, 14 Moments countdown! For this Arts and Sciences created and signed a dent Kenny did little to nothing in
Laura Cooper
Cindy Liu entry, which places at number nine, petition of No Confidence against Dr. terms of response. An administrator
we’ll be going back to last year’s Petition Kenny. Calling themselves the Con- speaking on behalf of the President is-
Features Editor of No Confidence put to President cerned Faculty of Stony Brook, their sued the statement that Dr. Kenny
Alex Nagler
Kenny by the College of Arts and Sci- grievances included the University ne- would not respond to any of these crit-
(F)Arts Editor ences. This was a story covered exten- glecting to properly educate undergrad- icisms until they were actually delivered
Andrew Fraley
sively not just by us at The Press, but uates through a lack of sufficient budget to her. And when they finally were, we
Photo Editors also local news publications and news allocation, President Kenny’s tendency still didn’t hear any sort of substantial
Liz Kaufman channels. to make decisions in a secretive, au- response. There was no call from Kenny
Roman “What Am I” Sheydvasser
Here’s what went down: For years thoritarian manner and, finally, the to sit down publicly with some of the
Copy Editors there existed simmering tensions over seemingly overwhelming emphasis the angered faculty and work things out.
Chris Mellides
Kelly Yu the spending priorities within the Uni- President puts on our University’s per- This lack of receptiveness only served to
versity’s different academic units. These ception rather than our actual substan- further dissatisfy the faculty.
Webmaster include the Schools of Applied Sciences, tive work. One of the organizers of the Well, we can at least hope that the
Chris Williams
Engineering and Journalism, the Col- petition, Professor Herman Lebovics of next President actually takes more stock
Audiomaster lege of Arts and Sciences and many the History Department, told us in an in what his or her faculty says. After all,
Andrew Fraley more. The College of Arts and Sciences interview, “The school is being dimin- it’s the faculty and students who bring
Ombudsman encompasses the majority of academic ished. The plan is to diminish it even the real fame and accolades to a Uni-
Jowy Romano programs here at Stony Brook. more, and make up for that by buying versity. Not it’s President.

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Doug Cion Amyl Nitrate
Natalie Crnosija Daniel Offner
Caroline D’Agati Chris Oliveri
Joe Donato Ben van Overkill
Nick Eaton Laura Paesano
Michael Felder Grace Pak
Vincent Michael Festa Rob Pearsall
Joe Filippazzo Jon Pu
Amelia Fischer Aamer Qureshi
Ilyssa Fuchs Kristine Renigen
Rob Gilheany Dave Robin
David Knockout Ginn Jessica Rybak
Joanna Goodman Joe Safdia
Jennifer Hand Natalie Schultz
Stephanie Hayes Rose Slupski
Andrew Jacob Nick Statt
Liz Kaempf Lena Tumasyan
Elizabeth Kaplan Marcel Votlucka
Jack Katsman Alex Walsh
Liz Kaufman Brain Washer
Rebecca Kleinhaut Matt Thrillemain
Peter Langone Jason Wirchin
Iris Lin Jie Jenny Zou

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The Stony Brook Press 7
E-mail your letters to sbpressnews@gmail.com letters
Sir,
(Proper letters to the editor always begin with "Sir.")
As a regular reader of the Press, I was surprised to see an article entitled "Club Spotlight: Stony Brook Free Thinkers"
in your November 12, 2008 issue. As the founder and president of SBU Freethinkers, I was aware that a reporter from
the Press had visited one of our recent meetings (from which I was shamefully absent); however, I was alarmed at the
apparent existence of another club with such a similar name. I worried that perhaps there was already a splinter group
of which I was somehow unaware.
Fortunately, it does appear that the article refers to my organization. For future reference, you should know that our
proper name is SBU Freethinkers. I am not aware of the existence of any organizations by the name of Stony Brook Free
Thinkers or SBU Free Thinkers. At least, no such groups should exist until I manage to so alienate someone that they de-
cide to secede. (This is scheduled to occur sometime next week.) Our members are freethinkers; I like to think that they
are also free thinkers but that is another matter entirely. I suggest that you look "freethinker" up in the Oxford English Dic-
tionary; you might learn something.
Also, neither former HP CEO Carly Fiorina nor singer Carly Simon are involved with our group. I assume the 'Carly' to
whom you refer is our vice president, Mike Carley, but perhaps you are simply misinformed. (There is precedent for
such misinformation; for example, on page 2 of the same issue the article "Depression, Too, Is a Thing With Feathers"
refers to "the natives of Khmer Rouge." It seems no-one on your staff is aware that the Khmer Rouge was the commu-
nist ruling party of Cambodia from 1975 to 1979, led by the murderous dictator Pol Pot. As far as I know, a party can-
not have natives. I am surprised that you are so uninformed about the Khmer Rouge, given that you are all communists.)
Nevertheless, I am pleased by your interest in our organization. You may like to know that last week we received
official recognition from our dear friends at the Department of Student Activities. As newly-minted members of the es-
tablishment, we have also decided to terminate the employment of that deceased troublemaker Socrates and replace
his meeting format with something a bit more orderly. I invite you to return to one of our meetings in the future to wit-
ness our progress.

Doug Newman
Founder and President
SBU Freethinkers

Dear Doug,
While we do appreciate your input, we feel you may be splitting hairs a bit here. For one, the author of the
article in question, Jonathan Singer, spelled Mike Carley’s name without an ‘e’ only once in the piece. The other three
instances where he refers to the Vice President of your organization, he spells the name properly. Therefore, it was most
likely a typo that was, unfortunately overlooked during editing, rather than a conscious effort at, as you put it, “misin-
formation.” We do apologize if this typo is in any way offensive to you or Mr. Carley.
In regards to the splinter group you refer to known as “SBU Free Thinkers,” we are sorry you had to find out
about their existence in this way. Our advice: Clamp down on them before they fully secede and acheive that elusive
Student Activities recognition.

Sincerely,
The Stony Brook Press

P.S: Fuck the Khmer Rouge. Damned Commies.

20 Request an ad packet:
sbpressnews@gmail.com
The Stony Brook Press
Doctor Hired Amidst Rising Allegations Con’t
KINSELLA continued from page 3
ceived and her complaint will be as-
signed between December and January
due to a six-month backlog experienced
by the HHS. Penalties for HIPAA viola-
tions are fines up to $250,000 and up to
10 years imprisonment if violation was
done with intent of personal gain or
malicious harm, according to the HHS.
On November 19, the Ohio Associ-
ation for Justice sent emails to its trial
lawyers requesting information about
Dr. Kinsella. The email read, “Our
friends at the New York State Trial
Lawyer’s Association need information
ASAP on a doctor who has practiced
in Ohio, Dr. Timothy Kinsella. He has
been appointed to head of the cancer
department in New York.” The email in-
quired upon lawsuits filed against him
in Ohio as well as complaints filed
against him through the OSMB. The
NYSTLA’s mission is “To promote a
safer and healthier society, to assure ac-
cess to the civil justice system by those
who are wrongfully injured and to ad-
vance representation of the public by
Take Off The Hazmat Suit,
ethical, well-trained lawyers.”
Weber contacted Dean Fine regard-
You’re Gonna Be Alright...
By Natalie Crnosija
Dr. Sharon Nachman, a Pedi-
atric Infectious Disease Specialist at
Stony Brook Medical Center, said last
Thursday at a Student Health Services’
press conference that the recent cases of
Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus au-
reus (MRSA) at Stony Brook University
provided “a wonderful opportunity to
talk to students about infectious dis-
ease.”
The panel, composed of Nachman,
Dr. Susan V. Donelan, an Adult Infec-
tious Disease Specialist at Stony Brook
Medical Center, and Robert Ansbach,
the Assistant Director of Student Health
Services, addressed how MRSA was
spread, precautions students should
take, proper public reaction, and how to
treat MRSA should one become in-
fected by the bacterium.
MRSA, also known as “staph,” is a
mutated bacterium which is resistant to
penicillin, methicillin and other antibi-
otics and is commonly found in hospi-
tals and healthcare facilities among
patients with compromised immune
systems.
According to Nachman, MRSA is
ing the hiring of Dr. Kinsella and her al-
legations on October 9. Dean Fine re-
sponded to Weber in a letter over a
month later, on November 11, the same
day that the phone interview with Dr.
Kinsella took place. In the letter, Dean
Fine wrote, “I received and read your
letter dated October 9, 2008. The con-
tents will be reviewed. Thank you for
writing to me.” Weber sent a letter to Dr.
no longer confined to hospitals and re-
cent Center for Disease Control studies
have shown that up to 30% of the U.S.
population is carrying the bacterium.
Within that percentage, only one per-
cent of the population is infected with
staph.
MRSA permanently colonizes the
skin and mucus membranes of its host,
according to Donelan. The bacterium
is spread by skin-to-skin contact, con-
tact with open wounds, and gym equip-
ment-sharing.
“People will not know they are car-
rying the bacteria until they cut them-
selves and get an infection,” Nachman
said.
Most staph infections present
themselves as a swollen boil or pimple
near the point of entry. Without treat-
ment a staph infection can develop into
cellulitis, a widespread skin infection
which is more difficult to cure than the
initial MRSA infection.
“MRSA is very easily managed with
oral antibiotics,” said Donelan.
“The important thing is for the in-
fected student to go to Student Health
Services and get treatment, the most
important thing is to take medication
and cover [the skin] up and go to class
and you’re not going to infect anyone,”
8
Stongwater, CEO of the Stony Brook to help us execute our vision to develop
Medical Center, on October 20. Weber a National Cancer Institute designated
received a letter from Strongwater con- Comprehensive Cancer Center that will
firming that her letter was received on serve as a major clinical and research
November 29. enterprise for Long Island. Along with
Dean Fine could not be reached for his extensive experience in academic
an interview at the time of publication, medicine, Dr. Kinsella was recently ap-
but in an email responded, “Dr. Kinsella pointed to the National Cancer Insti-
is a nationally known clinician and ad- tute’s Board of Scientific Advisors, a
ministrator who was brought on board highly significant appointment.”
said Nachman.
Infected students
have been treated at
the Student Health
Center, according to
Ansbach.
According to
Nachman, there is no
benefit in making a
pariah of an infected
student. It is more
important to use
common sense hy-
giene and stop the
colonization of the
bacterium in an area.
“The chain of in-
Weʼre safe, thanks to science. And women.
fection must be bro-
ken,” Donelan said.
“Jails, dorms and
other close-living
quarters generate a
lot of bacteria and The New England Journal of Medi-
one infected person has already colo- cine and Newsday are not the same
nized others.” thing and the relative danger of the bac-
MRSA is not immune to environ- terium to the public was misrepre-
mental cleansers, according to Donelan, sented, according to Donelan.
and the term “superbug” is a misnomer “I usually see two to three patients a
and “unnecessarily worrisome.” week with MRSA,” Nachman said.
“We have a few cases every year, but “They are put on antibiotics and are
there was no issue until the nationally fine.”
reported deaths last year,” said Ansbach.
The Stony Brook Press
Albany Screws SUNY Budget;
Most Students Don’t Seem to Care
By Erin J. Mansfield
Stony Brook students rallied out-
side of the SAC on Wednesday, Novem-
ber 19, during Campus Lifetime to
protest the SUNY budget cuts.
Over 100 students were in atten-
dance; less than one percent of under-
graduates were outraged enough to
stand out in the cold to have their voices
heard, but that did not deter the ones
who came for the cause.
The protest was organized by the
Undergraduate Student Government
(USG) and the United University Pro-
fessors (UUP). Representatives from
both organizations spoke out against
SUNY budget cuts and encouraged stu-
dents to be outraged by the financial sit-
uation of the university.
Stony Brook University’s tuition is
scheduled to increase by $310 in the
spring of 2009 for in-state students.
John Schmidt, President of the
West Campus UUP, mentioned that,
“SUNY has a ‘rainy day fund’ of just
over one billion dollars,” a sum of
money which he thinks, given the $1.5
billion cut that needs to be made, would
make a major impact if spent on the
university.
USG representatives handed out
News 9
letter templates to protes-
tors. All students were en-
couraged to write letters to
their governor, senators
and assemblymen; friends
and family were also en-
couraged to take part. If
they chose not to write
their own letters, they
could simply sign the tem-
plates and mail, fax or
email them.
“I want these letters to
haunt them [lawmakers]
in their sleep,” said USG
President Jeffrey Akita
about the letter-writing
campaign.
Speakers stressed the
idea that lawmakers do
not care whether or not
the students suffer due to
the budget cuts because so
few students become out-
raged enough to speak out
against the issues or vote against their SUNY, many students might find that Note: To all students who still want
leaders. the only solution is to transfer to private to have their voices heard, visit
The budget cuts will only com- institutions. www.uupinfo.org or www.stony-
pound in the coming years, resulting in “My biggest concern is the quality brookusg.org to sign a letter to Gover-
higher tuition, lower standards of edu- of classes,” said USG Senator Daniel nor Paterson. He can’t read, so be sure
cation and even more struggles for stu- Graber after the protest. “Fortunately, I to send letters to your assemblyman and
dents who want to graduate on time. can afford another $300 next semester, enator, too.
Representatives said that, because of but I can’t afford to have a sub-par edu-
this colossal drop in the quality of cation.”
 10 News
The Breakdown of the
American Conscience
By Alex Moreno
“What does it mean to be an Amer-
ican?” asked Hofstra Law Professor Eric
Lane at a university provost’s lecture on
Thursday November 13. “Everyone
struggles with this question,” he contin-
ued, as he spoke to the audience at the
Student Activities Center Auditorium.
The lecture drew a predominantly older
crowd of professors, and academics in
the political science and law fields.
Lane, who earned an M.A. from Stony
Brook University in 1966, is currently a
distinguished professor of public law
and public service at the nearby Hofs-
tra School of Law, and has co-authored
the book, The Genius of America: How
the Constitution saved the Country. His
lecture titled “How the Constitutional
Conscience Can Save Us From Our-
selves” reflected on the struggle of the
founding fathers in creating a system
that strove to keep naturally flawed
human beings both free to their own
wills and free from the tyranny that
their own instincts can reap upon them.
“The purpose of a human conscience is
to save us,” Lane said, “[to distinguish]
the idea of We from the idea of I.”
Lane used the word “brutal” to de-
scribe the relations among the thirteen
Droppin’ Beats, Not Bombs
colonies as of the late 18th century. The
Articles of Confederation had failed to
By Cindy Liu
Militarism isn’t as prevalent on this
campus as it is in Colombia. Despite
this complacent ignorance, the idea of
militarism dictated the course of the
lecture in the Old Chemistry Building
on November 18. This past Tuesday
evening, the Social Justice Alliance,
along with co-sponsors Feminist Ma-
jority Leadership Alliance (FMLA) and
LASSO, hosted Drop Beats Not
Bombs—a lecture followed by a live
HipHop show that strove to encourage
resistance to militarism through cre-
ative action.
Although initially thought to be
otherwise, militarism in Colombia car-
ries some relevance to the student body
of Stony Brook University. In June of
2008, the school was successful in ban-
ning Coca-Cola from its campus due to
the company’s indifference to inhu-
mane treatment of union workers in
bottling facilities. This ban was made
Vol. XXX, Issue 6 | Wednesday, November 26, 2008
maintain unity, and Shay’s Rebellion
was tearing apart the newly formed na-
tion as it lay on the “brink of chaotic
dissipation,” according to Lane. The
idea that “virtuous people can have
small government” had failed in only 11
years’ time with even George Washing-
ton himself admitting that “I guess we
had to high an opinion of human na-
ture.” Lane explained how even as the
revolution was underway, the colonies
were hopelessly disorganized and
achieved victory only by the off-chance
of French aid in a time when Washing-
ton’s troops were plighted, “without
shoes,” and suffering hypothermia and
disease. “All men love power and have
no capacity for self-restraint,” claimed
Alexander Hamilton during a time
when deliberations unfolded to change
the United States constitution to a more
functional system. This new system
would take better account of human
faults and act as a “living conscience.”
The greatest challenge posed was how
to get 55 learned men, all with different
agendas, and a mixed garble of federal-
ists and anti-federalists all out for their
own ends, to sit in a room and arrive at
a form of government that the people
would actually support. The result is
what Lane sees as a system designed to
uphold positive values of the revolution,
while still being realistic enough to take
account of human instinct and selfish
nature, the “sacred text of a secular so-
possible through the Killer Coke cam-
paign organized by the Social Justice
Alliance.
The lecture took place in room 118
of Old Chemistry at 7 p.m. It was
hosted by Paula Galeano, a Colombian
conscientious objector to militarism
from the Fellowship of Reconciliation.
The first question Galeano asked her
listeners was, “What is militarism?”
Several students gave partial answers.
Others shared their first-hand experi-
ences with militarism. Key words like
“tension” and “protests” and “tear gas”
were mentioned.
“What are some actions against it?”
Galeano asked. After one suggestion to
hand out flyers and pamphlets to en-
courage reform, the room lulled into si-
lence.
She went on to say that both fear
and terror are characteristic of mili-
tarism. According to Galeano, the ten-
sion among the state forces, the guerilla,
and the right-wing paramilitary have
caused four million people to be
ciety.”
Lane named four values that
surfaced from the Enlightenment,
and subsequently the American
Revolution: freedom, representa-
tion, compromise, and respect.
“We failed…made mistakes for
many years,” said Lane when ex-
plaining how long it took for these
tenets to apply to everyone. It took
the Civil War, women’s suffrage
and the labor movements of the late
19th Century to correct the shortcom-
ings of human interpretation of the
rights slated by the constitution. These
struggles led to what Lane calls “an
American Renaissance” which was the
20th century. But with the benefits, cau-
tioned Lane, came the largest growth in
federal government ever, and with it
came the discord of the 60’s, breaking
down the consensus. “We stopped try-
ing to be citizens,” Lane stressed, and
with that, stopped caring. Human na-
ture remained the same self-interested
instinct, but senators wouldn’t take the
time of day to read the documents
handed to them.
The system of checks and balances—
the divisions of power established by
the “sacred secular text,” the “national
conscience”—fail to function when the
effort is lost. Lane warned that events
such as the Iraq war resolution, which
was not a formal declaration of war, The
US Patriot Act, which was never read by
forcibly displaced from their homes.
Militarism controls people by giv-
ing money to those who will rat others
out, Galeano said. In other words, fi-
nancial incentives are awarded to those
who will give the names of suspected
guerillas. This method is used to create
a network of informants. According to
Galeano, all men 18 and over in Colom-
bia are obligated to the army if his fam-
ily is not financially dependent on
them. People join the armed forces not
because of their political convictions,
but because of economic options.
At the end of the lecture, Galeano
was asked, “How does militarism affect
us as college students today?”
“That’s for you to answer,” Galeano
replied. This response opened up the
floor to listener comments on the topic
of militarism. The question arose as to
whether or not militarism is just as
prevalent in the United States as it is in
Colombia. One student pointed out
that militarism is perhaps more of a
“state of mind” in the United States
the senators who passed it within days,
and the President of the United States
claiming “Monarchial Prerogative” in
defense of his extension of executive
powers, are all signs of a rejection of the
concept of “we” the nation, and a failure
in citizen responsibility. Lane pushed
for the civic duties to participate in one’s
own governance. He leans to side of
logic, a Madisonian take on “freedom
isn’t free.” He ended on a cautionary
note, a reminder of citizen responsibil-
ities, and the importance of the Ameri-
can Constitution as a buffer to men or
groups out to champion their own de-
sires and that we must act as a nation to
preserve our stride. We may not be able
to answer the question of what it means
to be Americans, but with heed, we can
avoid falling into the same chaos we
started in, by remembering that “We are
the longest running democracy of all
time, and I don’t know about you guys,
but long life doesn’t grant me immor-
tality.”
rather than its physical manifestation
found in Colombia.
“People think about militarism
being a problem in other countries that
we never have to encounter, but it really
is all around us. We have to take re-
sponsibility for the problems in our
community and work hard to change
them. Just like Invincible’s motto for the
night: If you want to see the change,
you’ve got to be the change,” said Janice
Lorenzana of the FMLA.
The following live HipHop show
hosted Ilana Weaver, also known as DJ
Invincible. Born in Israel, Weaver grew
up in Detroit, Michigan, learning Eng-
lish by listening to HipHop and writing
down her favorite lyrics. Already a
community activist striving for social
change, Weaver went on the six-state
tour sponsored by the Fellowship for
Reconciliation. The tour ended No-
vember 25, but Invincible still plans to
perform next on December 4 in
Philadelphia.
The Stony Brook Press
In The Heat of the Moment
By Natalie Crnosija
During the final day of the three-
day “Changing Climates, Changing
Minds: Storms, Trust and Public Per-
ception” Climates Initiative Conference
sponsored by the Humanities Institute
at Stony Brook, The School of Marine
and Atmospheric Sciences and the De-
partment of Philosophy, Dr. Spencer B.
Weart, a physicist and historian of
global warming, said, “Your grandfather
was right.”
“All of his ‘When I was a boy, we
had to walk ten miles through three feet
of snow to go to school’ stories have va-
lidity,” said Weart. “There is strong ev-
idence that the world was cooler a
hundred years ago.”
The conference was organized by
the three departments to equally ad-
dress global warming, the public’s shift-
ing perception of the scientific
phenomenon, and its sociological im-
plications . Wind farmers in the American Wind
Weart’s lecture, “Warm Weather
and Heated Debate: A Short History of
Beliefs About Global Warming,” fo-
cused on the historical views and early
research of global warming. Weart, the
author of The Discovery of Global
Warming, traced the early development
of global warming theories, which orig-
inated from the research of Svante Ar-
rhenius.
Arrhenius, in search of an explana-
tion for ice ages, went to the North Pole
and eventually developed a theory “that
humans were putting as much CO2 into
the environment as volcanoes. There-
fore, the world should warm up within
a thousand years,” said Weart. “This
sounded good for someone from Swe-
den.”
Arrhenius thought that the in-
creased warmth over time would yield
peace and plenty via increased agrarian
output, ending world hunger and dep-
rivation. Little did he know that such
climatic change would lead to the
aridization of Africa’s Sahel Zone, the
Ethiopian famine, murderous heat
waves which hula hooped around the
globe, the expedition of the spread of
epidemic disease and massive forest
fires.
People thought little of climatic
change until the 1930’s when the cli-
mate measurably warmed, which was
likely responsible for the American
Dust Bowl and the Joad’s change of ad-
This dude puts the ARR! in Arrhenius. Avast!
dress. Still, the climate received little at-
tention until the atomic bombs were
dropped and it was proved “that human
beings did have the ability to change the
environment,” Weart said.
According to Weart, over time, Ar-
rhenius’ reanimated theory was bol-
stered by Charles David Keeling, a
climatologist who created the Keeling
Curve, which accounts for the oscilla-
tion of temperature during the year and
showed a definite increase in tempera-
ture—and by Roger Revelle, who,
through the study of the chemistry of
sea water, observed increased carbon in
the complex soup that makes up the sea.
The timeline of scientific break-
through in climatology by noted scien-
tists, who together make a persuasive
pyramid of evidence, was countered by
the public’s belief that nature can equil-
ibrate itself, according to Weart.
Media coverage of global warming
has created more debate on the issue,
but has also caused the politicization of
a scientific concept. This led to the In-
tergovernmental Panel on Climate
Change’s endless conference, which fi-
nally produced the exceptionally well-
tailored decision that, “Temperature is
likely to increase 1.4 degrees to 5.8
centigrade by 2100 and, without prece-
dent, during the next 10,000 years.”
Clearly, world leaders agree that
Morlocks will be grievously affected by
global warming…it is just the present
that they are unsure about…
In her presentation, “Seeing the
Climate, Believing the Change,” Dr.
Heidi Cullen, Weather Channel Clima-
tologist, stated that “57% of the public
perceive a disagreement among scien-
tists on global warming, 63% of the
public disagree upon how global warm-
ing is happening, and 80% of the public
believes that global warming is happen-
ing.”
Dr. Cullen described the relation-
News 11
ship between climatologic anomalies,
like global warming and normal
weather patterns as “an electric guitar
playing over an orchestra.” The over-
powering effect of global warming and
the greenhouse effect distort normal
weather patterns. Man-made CO2 (13C
as opposed to natural 12C) makes up
two of every five CO2 molecules in
earth’s atmosphere, according to Cullen.
Cullen pulled up a slide of Jackson
Pollock’s #8 for comparison with a cli-
mate map. Each exhibited broad
swathes of color, which overlapped and
interplayed with one another.
“We are already beyond the worst-
case scenario,” said Cullen. The only
solution, according to Cullen, is to
change CO2 consumption behavior and
stabilize emissions. Cullen believes that
the lack of action by people can be at-
tributed to the human tendency to side
with “common sense” over science
when the two conflict.
However, there are those who are
using such sense to lower emissions.
Belt and German sun-power harvesters
(Deutsche Sonnenenergieerntemaschi-
nen, Ja!) are the quiet forerunners of the
slow crawl to a reduced-CO2 Babylon.
Cullen emphasized that the attack
on CO2 emissions cannot be treated
with a Manhattan Project formula,
“With 30 scientists locked in a bunker
for six years.” The public must be in-
volved and uniformly push forward.
Cullen’s stance on climate change
drew public ire when she was named as
the “Number One Threat to America”
by Stephen Colbert. Cullen, who re-
ceived her doctorate at Columbia Uni-
versity and is a climate expert at
Princeton University, said she “was told
to just be a weather girl” by angry view-
ers.
Weart’s belief in the public’s disbe-
lief of scientists was confirmed through
Cullen’s own experience. According to
Cullen, all people from all fields have to
be aware of global warming and learn
to trust the facts, however hard they
might be to accept.
12
features
Risk: Strategic Languages
Expansion Pack!
By Natalie Crnosija
Due to a $171,000 grant from
the U.S. Department of Education to
teach strategically-important Asian lan-
guages to undergraduates, the Depart-
ment of Asian and Asian American
Studies at Stony Brook University ad-
vanced language classes remained intact
as many other departments made cuts.
The Department of Education’s
grant was created under President
Bush’s National Security Language Ini-
tiative (NSLI) to strengthen foreign lan-
guage learning throughout all levels of
the United States’ education system.
Professor Eriko Sato of the Department
of Asian and Asian American Studies
applied for the grant in 2006 which be-
came effective May 2007 until May
Stony Brook Crew Begins New
2009.
Strategic languages, which include
Arabic, Farsi, Chinese, Hindi and Russ-
Chapter With Gold
By Natalie Crnosija
It’s 6 A.M. Do you know where
your roommate is? If she is not under
the pile of fleece blankets and laundry
on the other side of the room, she might
very well be at crew practice.
Stony Brook Crew, or the Compet-
itive Rowing Team, has been an estab-
lished club sport at Stony Brook since
the university was founded in 1957.
e current team has 46 members who
are divided into four squads: Varsity
Men, Varsity Women, Novice Men and
Novice Women.
e team’s numbers are known to
drastically fluctuate from the beginning
of the semester to its end. ey have re-
mained high due to the new coaching
staff, consisting of varsity coach Seth
Goroff and novice coach Chris
Berghorn, according to Supriya Mishra,
the varsity women’s Coxswain (a.k.a.
the tiny person who steers the boat).
“We are more focused now that we
have realized our potential,” Mishra
said.
“We’ve gone from being a club that
Vol. XXX, Issue 6 | Wednesday, November 26, 2008
ian, are languages of foreign countries
who the Defense Department views as
potential threats to the United States.
“The establishment of ‘No Child
Left Behind’ in 2002 actually hurt for-
eign language learning in the United
States,” said Sato. Due to the require-
ments of “No Child Left Behind,” all
teachers of foreign languages were re-
quired to have Master’s Degrees in their
language.
The effort to raise the level of teach-
ers nationwide handicapped emerging
Asian Language learning in the K-12
education bracket, according to Sato.
This was made most evident by the es-
tablishment of the AP Chinese and AP
Japanese tests produced by the College
Board, an international test making
company, in 2006. The tests were there,
as were the students. The teachers,
however, were absent due to the scarcity
of Asian language educators with Mas-
ter’s Degrees.
The Department of Education’s
plays a sport to a sports team that is or-
ganized like a club,” said Goroff, who
recently coached the Varsity Women’s
squad to first place in the Philadelphia
Frostbite and Bill Braxton Memorial
Regattas.
“We went from going against Bing-
hamton to Division I schools. We have
made a lot of progress in one semester,”
said Goroff.
According to Goroff, the team is
more serious than it had been in past
years. Goroff, who began rowing at the
University of Albany nearly 10 years ago
and coached crew at Saint Anthony’s
High School in Huntington, New York,
stressed the importance of water prac-
grant was given, in part, to educate
teachers of Asian Languages, according
to Sato. The Department of Asian and
Asian American Studies offers Hindi,
Chinese, Korean and Japanese. Before
the NSLI grant, few advanced courses in
these languages existed with the possi-
bility of teacher preparation.
Apart from the three applied lin-
guistic courses specialized for Asian
language teachers, there are 9 upper-di-
vision Asian language courses, includ-
ing Business Chinese (CHI 410),
Advanced Hindi (HIN 311), Business
Japanese (JAP 410) and Advanced Ko-
rean IV (KOR 412).
“These courses try to give students
the knowledge and skills for their pro-
fessions, whatever they may be,” said
Sato.
Sato said that many different stu-
dents study languages for different rea-
sons. Language relates to many
different disciplines and, according to
Sato, the SUNY system is supportive of
tice and the improvement of technique.
“I’m a technical coach,” Goroff
said. “Crews that use only muscle will
have trouble beating a team with tech-
nical ability.”
As Goroff focuses on perfecting the
technique of his experienced rowers,
Berghorn teaches the novice wquads
the basics.
“Coach Berghorn has gotten both
the novice men’s and novice women’s
teams from never having rowed before
to rowing cohesively,” Goroff said.
Berghorn, a fih year Stony Brook
student who rowed on and off for three
years, said, “Rowing is something that
once it gets in you, it never leaves. e
language study and language in relation
to other disciplines.
The SUNY system, however, will
not be able to maintain all their lan-
guage programs under the impending
budget cuts. Stony Brook University’s
Asian Language program will be un-
touched by cuts until May 2009, when
the grant is terminated.
“Then, we will have to reapply for a
grant from the State or University,” said
Sato. “If we don’t get a grant there, we’ll
look into other grants.”
Sato remains confident with the di-
rection of the program and hopes for
increased coordination between the
Asian and Asian American Studies and
Linguistic Departments to create new,
innovative applied linguistics and ped-
agogy courses to prepare teachers for
Asian language teaching in the nation’s
schools.
team needed help so that’s why I’m
here.”
“e biggest challenge we have is
the lack of adequate funding,” Goroff
said. “St. Anthony’s had 18 ergs to
practice on. We have one-third as many
as we need.”
e erg, or ergometer, or as named
by Goroff, “the Devil’s plaything,” is a
rowing machine which is the chief way,
apart from calisthenics and running, for
rowers to stay in form off-water.
According to Berghorn, the possi-
bility of budget cuts in the prevailing
fiscal climate would be “very detrimen-
tal to the team.”
“For a team which embodies a
school to such a degree, we don’t get
nearly enough funding,” said Berghorn.
“A big part of our budget goes to trans-
port alone.”
Despite the logistical challenges of
operating the team, club president
Melissa Roe said the team is doing well
and getting more involved in the com-
munity.
“We’re really happy that we
medaled in our last race,” Roe said.
“Our coach has high expectations and
so do we.”
The Stony Brook Press
Freethinkers Exposed: “God-
Lusting Gay Psychopaths”
By Ross Barkan
The Stony Brook Freethinkers are
actually an otter-worshiping orthodox
Christian choir collective, Stony Brook Depraved Occult Studies at Yale Uni-
Press authorities have learned.
According to papers obtained from
Freethinker headquarters, the suppos-
edly atheist and deist members pro-
fess their love of God on both a
spiritual and sexual level. In addition
to worshipping the classic Judeo-
Christian god, Freethinkers worship
Zeus, Ares, “Ape Jesus,” Vishnu, “Reg-
gie the Otter Princess,” Ivan Ooze,
Voltron, Mecha-Godzilla, The Game,
and an assortment of other deities.
Rituals of worship include blood sac-
rifices, tribal dancing, computer gam-
ing, anal glazing, and detonating
small-scale I.E.Ds behind a macaroni
and glue mural of former television
star, Henry Winkler.
“Yeah, I’ll be honest, we love reli-
gion,” said Freethinker High Priest-
ess/Whale Sacrificer Nikolai Meaton.
“Christianity is still pretty dumb. But
you really haven’t lived until you’ve
chanted Abalah Crackablack to the
Wizard Lion King Lucius.”
Meaton and others claimed to have
gathered every Friday to discuss a
myriad of religious and philosophical
matters. Purported discussion topics
have ranged from organized religion’s
parasitic influence on society to the
feasibility and morality of gun con-
trol. Press wire-tapping has since re-
vealed that the entire organization
was a front for a homosexual Chris-
tian/Pagan choir collective and recre-
thinkers would be a gathering of atheist
intellectuals. Instead, they are god-lust-
ing gay psychopaths.
“This is a more common phenome-
non than you would be led to believe,”
said Bainbridge O’Fargus, Director of
versity. “Many ‘Freethinkers’ groups
throughout the country are actually
bizarre gospel music penetrating the
Student Union hallways, University Po-
lice Officer Mitch Sexton was called in
to investigate. Shaken witnesses re-
membered blood oozing under the
door’s threshold and a haunting a
capella rendition of the theme from
“Three’s Company.”
“I’ve been on the force a long time. I
13
features
phone conversation between an
unidentified Freethinker member, a
Queens, New York cocaine dealer, and a
Little Debbie Snack Cakes representative
shed light on a confectionary-based plot
to fuel enough chaotic bloodshed in the
Wang Center to appease the Norse
trickster god Loki. Junior Zaz Gilbert
was discovered locked in a closet in the
Freethinker room with a Boggle game
glued to his forehead. The sobbing
Gilbert told authorities the Free-
thinkers believed the child’s game,
when attached to a human, could
channel Mecha-Godzilla’s ghost from
the cyborg marshlands in the heav-
ens. This could unleash what was
only described as “The Curdling.”
And most disturbing of all is the
weekly Ethiopian mongoose dance.
Witnesses say it is neither Ethiopian
nor a dance.
“I thought about going to the meet-
ing so I was walking by the door,” said
Sophomore Ben Milgromstein. “I
opened the door and saw a bunch of
Freethinkers, maybe 20, holding
hands in a circle. They had their faces
painted and seemed to be playing
capture the flag. Except the flag was a
goat. And they weren’t capturing it,
per se. They were caressing it with
butter. I honestly don’t remember
much else because a guy then beat me
unconscious with a Wii controller.”
Some Freethinkers remain resolute,
even in the face of such staggering al-
legations. Radical Freethinker Donny
Mazzi maintains the Freethinkers did
nothing wrong and hate God as much
as ever.
“I’m still a hard-core atheist,” said
Mazzi. “See, look at my t-shirt. It says

“Softball was fun. We played a few This dude got so hard thinking of God, he just turned to stone!
ational softball team. ‘Thank God I’m an Athiest.’ Get it?
Get it? I bet you don’t, you god damn
games in the room,” said a Free- religious sheep. I’m such a progressive
thinker member who asked not to be thinker. I can arrogantly impose my
identified. “But then (name with- worldview on others as if it was ab-
drawn) pulled down his pants and cover-ups for individuals who love reli- can tell you, I’ve seen some crazy things solute fact with colorful, pseudo-clever
strung those feathers around his gion immensely. In fact, I conducted a in my day. But I’ve never walked in and wholly pretentious clothing. As
(anatomy withdrawn) and shit got re- study at Yale in 2006 that concluded on…” Sexton pauses for a lengthy pe- long as I have my rare Richard Dawkins
ally fucked up. I mean, we have to ap- 93% of so-called secular-humanists are riod of time, “…such a fucked up soap dish and napkin dispenser, my
pease the Winter Solstice Gerbils so the actually conceited, insecure douchebags hodgepodge of, well, I can really only faith in no higher power will remain
harvest can be bountiful, but come on, who really like to paint rocks with their describe it as a rat zoo. A goddamn, strong.”
you don’t need that many feathers.” own blood.” 100%, veritable rat zoo. I just held up Authorities later arrested Mazzi on
What makes these revelations so sur- He added, “I’m one myself!” my badge and told them all to leave. My five counts of vehicular manslaughter
prising in the eyes of the community is Authorities believe the Freethinkers wife still doesn’t believe me.” after he crashed a flaming tricycle into
the Freethinkers’ expressed militancy would have maintained their cover had Press wire-tapping of the Freethinker the SAC.
against organized religion. Posters were they not began choir practice so soon phone line only confirmed Sexton’s ob- Mazzi was overheard screaming “Ape
hung around campus that read, “No after acquiring a discussion room. The servations. Meaton and his minions Jesus 2012!”
God. No Problem,” leading the Stony noise elicited complaints from neigh- could not deny their heinous and ab-
Brook citizens to believe the Free- boring clubs. After the third week of surd actions any longer. One three-way
14 Vol. XXX, Issue 6 | Wednesday, November 26, 2008

MySpace Music: Rock Out With

Your Cock Out From the Com-
fort of Your Own Computer
By Liz Kaempf
I know, I know. Appreciating music
has become such a hardship lately.
You’ve got papers, exams, a job, 9:30
a.m. classes, and don’t about forget our
history-making presidential election.
(Don’t worry, the black guy won). But
it’s about time we all jump back onto
our musical horses and ride into an
acoustic sunset, ladies and gents. And
maybe you just don’t know it yet, but
MySpace happens to be a goldmine of
both awesome and horrendous music. I
won’t tell you what to avoid, but I can
definitely direct you to some stuff you
should be checking out. Can I get a
drum roll, please?
The Ladrones: Kevin Miller:
Translating to “The Thieves,” this
Ska/Punk band blew my mindm which
is ironic considering I actually can’t un-
derstand a single word they’re saying,
but it sounds fuckin’ awesome. With
their fast pace and lively energy, you
can’t help but wish you paid attention
during Spanish class in high school. The
best part of The Ladrones is how they
utilize the horn line that is the staple of
the Ska genre. The trumpet solo in
“Atame” is killer, and the saxophone
growls in “Nada Pasa” were more than
impressive. Be sure to check out the
newest CD, Cultura Popular. In the A loveable, self-proclaimed nerd and interpretation about what would hap-
meantime, larga vida a Los Ladrones! currently the saxophonist extraordi- pen if your actual heart were stolen.
MySpace URL: http://www.my- naire of Long Island-based band, The “Caffeine Immunity” and “Gray Area”
space.com/theladrones Homecoming Queens, Kevin Miller has are part of a two-part song combo, the
finally taken time out to create his very former being about how tired he is all
own one-man show. Literally. Each the time, and the latter a more
track was produced by him personally metaphorical song about growing up
through Garage Band on his Mac. He and moving on in life. But generally, Mr.
was particularly influenced by Ben Miller just wants to create something
Folds and had been writing songs for new and fun to show people, telling me,
about two or three years until he re- “I think everyone relates to songs a little
cently found the nerve to lay them differently, that’s part of what makes
down. He was worried about his singing music great.” Kevin’s album All The
voice, although it’s pretty unanimous Gears is available on iTunes right now.
that he sounds incredible. “You Stole So “get your ass out of bed and get on
My Heart” was his first attempt at seri- with the day”.
ous song writing that eventually trans- MySpace URL: http://www.my-
formed into a witty and literal space.com/kevinmillerisawesome

Lights Out Dancing: Melody Rose McNamara: Fly Society:

Hailing from Minneapolis, Minnesota Lights Out I’m sorry, but when a song is called “What Yo’ Face
The smooth and
Dancing is an infectious blend of punk rock, romance, Look Like”, you kinda just need to know what that
soulful sounds of
and the nicest guys you’ll ever know. I should know sounds like. Fly Society isn’t so completely stereotyp-
this 19-year-old
since I met them at Nassau Coliseum at Warped Tour ical of the hip hop/rap genre, which is a nice change of
songbird make it
‘08 and they sweetly persuaded me to buy their 5-track pace. They’re actually pretty catchy. The backtracks
obvious why she’s
EP, Oh The Places You’ll Go, (all of which can be found are hardly bland and don’t bother me nearly as much
been booking gigs
on their MySpace page). “I’m Calming Down” is an as backtracks normally do, and the guys’ voices are
left and right. Her
upbeat song filled with pleasant realism and “Life and smooth and clear with some ballin’ lyrics. “What Yo’
vintage jazz sound
the Girl” is particularly thoughtful and heartfelt. The Face Look Like” is a rather clever track about a girl
and crystal clear
band is also super fan-interactive and loves any feed- that looks awesome from behind, but before you take
voice breathe new
back. They’ve even added a sweet new acoustic song her home you need to see if her face is nice too, or if
life into classics
that redefines “love song” and they are putting nam- it’s a “mug like a monkey”. FS is a very “Professional”
like “Over the
ing rights in the hands of their fans. There’s some group, and they’re “feelin’ like Nascar with all these
Rainbow” and
democracy for you. Did I mention there are prizes for sponsors”.
“Natural Woman,”
the winner?! Hellz yeah! MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/flysoci-
as well as creating
MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/light- ety2007
a unique sound
soutdancing
with own original tracks “Embraceable You” and “Save
Your Love For Me.” Melody plays local lounge gigs on
the island that are usually 21 or older, so she recom-
mends you find yourself a fake I.D. if you’re underage.
It‘s okay, the potential felony is worth it.
MySpace URL:
http://www.myspace.com/melodyrosejazz
The Stony Brook Press 15
Slothbear: The Horny Funk Brothers: Of The Pillar:
It’s not what you
think. This is a band,
not just an endan-
gered and rather dan-
gerous, but so
adorable creature typ-
ically found in India.
(Seriously though,
check out that
Wikipedia page. One
sloth bear was re-
sponsible for twelve
human deaths and
two mutilations.) The
boys of Slothbear are pretty scruffy from what I’ve If you’re in the mood for some serious funk and soul With some serious note-worthy musicality, Of The
seen, but not nearly as deadly. Some of them are SBU’s (and why wouldn’t you be?), then HFB is the band for Pillar is soon to be a force to reckon with. These boys,
very own and they give off a great modern sound that’s you. Relatively new to the scene, they’ve already com- three of whom currently reside at SBU, have already
a mix between the Beach Boys and the Arctic Mon- posed some old-school beats and grooves. Featuring a managed to masterfully produce a 13-track full-length
keys. Don’t be discouraged about the quality of the vastly talented five-piece horn section, the three songs album. OTP takes poetic license to a whole new level
songs (their original recordings were done on a bro- on their music page, including “Dance to the Beat of with inspired and powerful lyrical prowess and un-
ken four-track with no microphones) and give them a Love”, are all they need to reel you in. The musicality, beatable vocals. The general feel of the music and the
chance. Not only are they starving artists, but they’re the solos, the words. It’s all genius! The Horny Funk variety of the songs makes it hard to pinpoint a genre,
poor college students too. “Olio” and “D Jam” are Brothers are probably capable of a jam session that but it falls somewhere in the underground/indie/al-
newly recorded and show off their madd skills much could be comparable to the length of a Grateful Dead ternative rock spectrum. Their best quality is their in-
more effectively, although you can definitely give them concert. And you wouldn’t even need to be stoned to credible knack for highlighting each member’s talents;
credit for their other tracks. “The Exceptional Bas- stick around through the whole thing … unless you from the killer bassline in “I’m a Giant,” down to the
tards” has standout guitar parts and the laidback vo- wanted to be, that is. But take my word for it, it’s much piano keys laid on in “It Lacks Spirit”. Not to mention
cals in “Jose” make it my favorite by far. Now, I heard more enjoyable if you’re only under the influence of the damn-near-perfect drumming that braces each
through the grapevine that they were banned from the ‘Funk’n’Soul’. song. (which are all composed spectacularly and with
SBU shows for being “too pimp”, but nobody can keep MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/horny- tremendous quality unexpected of a two-year-old
a good Slothbear down. They have already sweet- funkbrothers band). Their first album, In Media Res is expected to
talked their way back onto Stony Brook stages. be out by Christmas, and from the early copy I re-
MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/fuck- ceived, I don’t see how anyone could wait that long.
MySpace URL: http://www.myspace.com/ofthep-

Magdalen Hsu-Li: The Face of Things

inslothbear
illar

Yet To Come
By Kat Knowlton
Magdalen Hsu-Li, a fiery singer-
songwriter, performed November 15 in
the Union Auditorium. Hsu-Li played a
nearly hour and a half long set for a rel-
atively large crowd considering the cold,
rainy weather and the fact that it was a
Saturday night.
Magdalen, along with her drummer
and songwriting partner, Dale Fanning,
played through twelve songs from her
last two full-length albums as well as
some songs she has not recorded. Be-
fore she began performing, she said that
the songs and the concert were about
acceptance, accepting yourself and oth-
ers. As a Chinese-American bisexual
who has Tourettes, Hsu-Li knows a
thing or two about dealing with accept-
ance.
Most of her songs were in the vein
of the traditional singer-songwriter.
They primarily featured Hsu-Li on
acoustic guitar or piano with backing
from Fanning. The opener, “Not an Or-
dinary Girl,” was about Hsu-Li herself
and her struggles. Musically, it was rel- they added a unique element to her ments, and it is the one that builds com-
atively simple, bordering on dull, but
luckily her strong voice more than
songs. “Spirit of the World,” one of the
last songs she played utilized them best.
munity. This song had her singing solo,
and Hsu-Li displayed her proficiency
made up for it. Several critics have The dynamic between Fanning and her on the piano. And while it was about a
made comparisons between her and was at its height; the end was an intense rather cliché topic, a relationship
Ani drum solo (whether with a partner or a friend is
DiFranco as with Hsu-Li unclear), lyrically, it refrained from the
well as Tori playing a heavy handedness that unfortunately
Amos, and strong back- made up the majority of her songs.
both com- ing beat. The only real problem with her per-
parisons are Fanning was formance was that much of her lyrical
dead on. At allowed to content wasn’t very inventive and often
times, espe- shine and fell into the clichés of the genre. It is un-
cially during show his im- fortunate, because Hsu-Li is very tal-
her second mense talent ented musically, and the couple of songs
song and an- after spend- that didn’t fall into this category were
other called ing much of absolutely brilliant. The potential to be
“That Ain’t the set play- an amazing songwriter is there, but
Me,” she was ing subtly right now she is merely a good one.
a dead behind Hsu- The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and
wringer for Li. It takes a Transgender Alliance, the Chinese As-
the Buffalo folk queen. If one were not lot of talent to play as well as he did sociation at Stony Brook and Students
looking at her during the performance, backing an acoustic guitar or piano and Taking Aim at Challenges sponsored
the difference would be hard to find. singer, so he deserves as much praise as this event, bringing students from dif-
For the second half of her perform- Hsu-Li herself. ferent backgrounds together to enjoy
ance, Hsu-Li stepped away from the One of the songs featuring piano, the concert.
guitar and played the rest of her set with “Fire” was probably her best of the
piano or hand drums. The hand drums evening. Before playing, she explained
were an interesting musical choice, and that fire is one of the five Chinese ele-
 ASIAN AMERICAN E-ZINE
Features
Grad Student RA's Vote on Joining Union Dec 5th
Research Foundation Uses University Police to Stop Student Discussions
by Ja Young, Alumni Editor with help from Steven Leigh, Undergraduate RA in Biomedical Engineering and SBU AA E-Zine Staff
On Friday, December 5th, graduate
student Research Assistants (RA's) at
Stony Brook University (SBU) will vote
on whether or not they want to estab-
lish a union. They would be joining
CWA (Communication Workers of
America) Local 1104, the same union
which TA's and GA's belong to, though
as a separate bargaining unit. This is a
similar structure to what the faculty
have in UUP (United University Profes-
sions) with one unit representing West
Campus and the other HSC.
Unlike GA's/TA's who are funded di-
rectly by SBU, SBRA's are funded
through the Research Foundation (RF).
The RF, headquartered in Albany with
offices on most campuses, is a non-
profit organization set up to administer
research grants throughout all of SUNY.
Although the SBU AA E-Zine is pri-
marily an undergrad venture, it covers
the major events of IGSA (Indian Grad-
uate Students Association) and SBC-
SSA (Chinese Students and Scholars).
It would probably have ignored this
election entirely simply out of ignorance
that it was even happening had the RF
not sent out an email to all campus
media about it. The email and RF web-
site were so blatantly anti-union we re-
sponded and said we could not put in
the info as sent. For Asian international
grad students, many of whom are
SBRA's, they would not understand all
the differences, especially if they came
from countries that did not have unions.
The RF was very reasonable, said we
could remove what we found objection-
able, and gave us the SBRA union url
so we could list both sides.
The Zine was (and still is) behind
schedule since there were non-stop
events last week so we just added it to
the calendar the next day. The RF url
was too long and our calendar would
not automatically link it. To be fair, we
unlinked the SBRA Union url too and
explained why only on the calendar
page. We never told anyone what we
were doing but the next day an email
arrived from the RF's central headquar-
ters in Albany. It was from Cathy Kas-
zluga, VP for Corporate
Communications, with a shortened url
to replace their long one.
Wow, they were checking our calen-
dar. They really want to get the vote
out. What was going on here? It piqued
our curiosity and we began comparing
the opposing sides. Below is what we
found and it was supposed to go to the
SB Press today for their next issue.
Then an email press release arrived
from the SBRA organizers. A meeting
organized by Life Sciences RA's to ex-
plain unionization to their peers in Life
Sciences was shut down by the Vice
President of Research's office. Al-
though the students had gone through
the proper channels to book the space
- freedom of speech was being banned
on campus. Armed University Police
AA E-Zine Vol 20 N 5 Nov 2008 Printed in SBU Press Vol 30 N 6
Vol. XXX, Issue 6 | Wednesday, November 26, 2008
were told to make sure the meeting did
not take place - and it didn't. It seems
the RF will go to all lengths. But aren't
universities supposed to be the bas-
tions of free speech? The pillars of
open intellectual discussions? Like the
art show that was taken down last year,
at Stony Brook it seems that freedom of
expression needs President Kenny's
approval first.
Fortunately grad students, faculty,
and the public will still have one oppor-
tunity before the election for a discus-
sion on December 1st when the GSO
will sponsor an open forum at the Wang
Center Lecture Hall 2 from 6-8pm.
Now back to where we started. What
the SBRA's who want a union are say-
ing is more credible than the RF on
most issues. The students are blunt
about what they want and angry at the
Photo by Michael Kelly SB Independent
RF for delaying the vote and their web-
site portrays that. But one of their web-
masters, Matt Engel, an SBRA in
Biomedical Engineering, said "RA's
have been organizing on campus for
nearly a year and are excited about the
prospect of showing a united front."
Their website has been getting about
1000 hits daily.
The RF website, on the other hand,
is very craftily designed. Without ever
really lying, it emphasizes differences
that appear to make it better than it is,
and leaves out pertinent information
that would give more truthful answers.
If only reading the RF website,
SBRA's, and especially first year
SBRA's, would falsely believe the fol-
lowing:- -A union means paying dues
with the less than subtle implication that
would decrease what they currently
earn. --A union would make it harder for
their PI (Principal Investigator) to fund
them.--SBRA's currently make more
than GA's/TA's - again with the implica-
tion being that SBRA's might get de-
creased funding in the future if they are
in the same union.
And the list goes on.
It was only in health care that the
comparisons were difficult to determine
which was really better. But even here,
the RF went out of its way to falsely
imply that what they offer is definitely
better. They emphasized, for example,
that SBRA's currently have more
choice - 107 dentists within 5 miles of
SB - while GA's/RA's only have 37. And
that does seem vastly better.
But note that RA's pay a percentage
whereas GA's/TA's pay a flat co-pay.
So for example, a large white filling
done by SBU Dental School alumnus
Dr. Riutta, whose practice on Quaker
Path is within walking distance of cam-
pus, would cost an SBRA $31.50 (7%
of $450) while it would it would only
cost a GA/TA $10.
The RF is technically not part of
SUNY and keeps describing itself as
private, not public. So when it describes
how few Americans in the private sector
are in unions, it is trying to make a case
comparing apples to oranges. All the
hundreds of millions of dollars it deals
with was initially generated by faculty
grants. ALL faculty are members of a
union - UUP. Why is a union good for
faculty but a union is not good for grad
student employees at the same institu-
tions? As Xiao Xu, another SBRA in
Biomedical Engineering said, "PI's at
Stony Brook have a union that works
for them. We need a union that works
for us."
More interesting is the attitude of ad-
ministrators. Lawrence Martin, Dean of
the Graduate School, who as a state
employee is supposed to remain com-
pletely neutral, told a recent GSO Sen-
ate meeting that he would do whatever
the grad students wanted of him re-
garding the union. Yet when his speech
was over, according to Engle the Dean
then talked about how unions are bad
for business. In the week since we
began looking at both sides, Martin is
now appearing in a video on the obvi-
ously anti-union RF site telling SBRA's
to make sure they read both websites
and to make sure they vote.
How the RF words the issue of union
dues is dishonorable as well. Of course
union members would have to pay
union dues ONCE a contract is signed,
just as all faculty have to pay a per-
centage of their grants to the RF. The
Meet Fridays 2:30 PM Student Union 71
infrastructures of both have to be sup-
ported. But a union is made up of its
members. They must ratify any con-
tract. Why would they ratify a contract
that did not give them more than the
cost of their dues? The RF's emphasis
on this is obviously geared to those
who do not understand unions.
And that is why they want a big
turnout and why they are pushing to
have their website read. By unfairly
stretching the truth their goal is to have
students who do not fully understand
vote no. It is how they succeeded at Al-
bany and Buffalo. This election, how-
ever, looks to be different. SBRA union
organizers saw how the RF manipu-
lated the vote at other schools and
have made sure that the majority of
SBRA's know the issues. Months ago
over 500 of of the roughly 800 SBRA's
signed a Union card asking to have an
election. Since then the SBRA organiz-
ers have been talking to all RA's to help
them understand everything.
Here is an example. The RF has a
salary comparison showing that RA's
on average make more than GA's/TA's.
But again it is comparing apples to or-
anges. RA's are in departments where
grants are plentiful. GA's/TA's in the
same departments can make more
when the downstate differential and fee
waivers are added in. What brings the
GA/TA average down are the poor stu-
dents in departments that rarely get
grants. A more honest comparison
would be to compare RA's and
GA's/TA's in the same department.
More importantly, however, a union
could negotiate a bridge fund. When a
PI loses funding, SBRA's are still full
time students but now without any in-
come. Their PI's still have their state
salaries, and their GA/TA peers still
have their state salaries. Only RA's are
thrown out in the cold to fend for them-
selves. As SBRA Jaweed Sheriff said,
"We need an organization that looks
out for our interests, especially in these
times of economic crisis."
To see what each side is advocating,
readers should look at each website.
SBRA's however, should consider care-
fully which side really does have their
best interests at heart.
The SB RA Union website detailing
all of their positions in favor of joining
the union - a YES vote - is
http://sbraunion.org/
The Research Foundation's website
detailing their opposition to students
joining the union - a NO vote - is
http://www.rfsuny.org/vote
www.aa2sbu.org/aaezine
The Stony Brook Press
For Those About To Rock...
By Doug Cion
Maybe it is our turn to do the salut-
ing to the “rock band” (HAHA get it?)
who has been doing the saluting for al-
most four decades now. The jolly ol’
Aussies whose claim to fame is invent-
ing the head bang: I’m talking about AC
freakin’ DC! On Thursday, November
13, I was able to cross off the last band
on my list of bands to see live before I
die. With the new album Black Ice
smashing into Wal-Mart nearly four
weeks ago at the number one spot on
Billboard and remaining in the top ten
for the following three weeks, it is safe
to say rock n’ roll is back, and I had the
privilege of seeing the God’s of Rock live
and in person at Madison Square Gar-
den.
In a time where rock n’ roll has had
nothing relevant to say since the year
2000—before pop and mainstream rap
killed it—I found myself moving away
from the modern alternative pop-rock
17
and rap-metal scene, and delving into
bands categorized under classic rock
or arena rock. For the past four years,
it is safe to say I had not purchased an
album of some modern or new, hip
band (or illegally downloaded one)
due to the fact that I do not enjoy
throwing up for recreational pur-
poses. It was at this time that I gath-
ered a collection of greatest hits CDs
as well as old albums of bands rang-
ing from the 70’s to early 90’s. When
Black Ice hit the shelves, it took about
two days for me to get it and listen to
the whole thing two times through;
keep in mind I was still consumed in
Metallica’s Death Magnetic. Is it the
best ACDC album? No, sir, but with
it’s first hit, “Rock n’ Roll Train” blaz-
ing through the radio waves and—get
this—dance clubs, it was safe to say
that this is what I’ve been missing.
In the year 2008, I saw four con-
certs: Van Halen at the Garden in
May, Poison and Journey over the
summer at Jones Beach and, to top it
off, ACDC at the Garden in Novem-
ber. In this case, it truly was saving they were American citizens) but that
the best for last. All four of these did not stop them from displaying more
bands have a few things in common, sexual innuendo than an Alfred Hitch-
the main thing being their old age. cock movie. From lead guitarist Angus
For the night of the ACDC concert, Young’s fifteen minute strip dance to the
this was a concern for me. In past 100 foot blow up doll in the back of the
concerts, I have seen the elderly put stage that did a little more then play air
on a sub-par show because their re- guitar with her fingers, ACDC is back,
duced capabilities. I mean, there were rock n’ roll is back and hornier then
four times that the members of Van ever… and we salute you.
Halen got off the stage—I assume it
was to take a piss because that’s what
old men do; they pee in sufficient
numbers. But this night, I kid you
not, from the beginning of the show
which kicked off with a huge locomo-
tive engine busting through the back
wall, all five members of the band
stayed on stage the whole time save
the encore (but that is kind of a
given). Lead singer Brian Johnson
gave me some concern at first because
it looked like he was struggling
throughout the show but here is the
thing; for the past four decades, he
has performed this way at every live
show. Of course it looks like he is
struggling to sing because technically
he isn’t singing. And if you have any
feeling of doubt in his performance,
then you obviously were not at this
show where he swung from a bell
about ten feet in the air during “Hell’s
Bells” or ran across the stage firing off
a line of six cannons during “For
Those About to Rock” for their final
song.
These guys are old enough to claim
their social security check (that is if
18 Arts & Entertainment
007’s Sophomore Slump
By Nick Statt
Have you ever gone to a movie hop-
ing desperately that it will kick ass be-
cause a previous one, maybe by the
same director or its predecessor in a se-
ries, was just so awesome? That’s exactly
how I entered the second Bond film in
a chain of new flicks with Daniel Craig
as the main man. Unfortunately, I left
the theatre with the exact opposite feel-
ing. To be blunt, it was disappointing.
Don’t get me wrong. Quantum of
Solace, Craig’s sophomore performance
as the legendary British Secret Agent,
James Bond, was a decent action film. It
did everything relatively well, and the
formula for the typical Bond film was
generally followed, yielding an enter-
taining 106 minutes. QOS starts off one
hour after the end of Casino Royale,
making it the first of the series to offer
a direct sequel plot. Bond, played by the
always excellent Daniel Craig, goes off
on a search mission of a secret organi-
zation that, in Casino Royale, black-
mailed his lover into back-stabbing him
and MI6, leading to a guilt-induced sui-
cide. This means that Bond’s search is
fueled more by revenge than his duties
to M. In his search for this organization,
Bond runs into Dominic Greene
(played by the accent-heavy Mathieu
Amalric), a pseudo-environmentalist
villain who plans to gain control of one
of Bolivia’s most valuable resources.
Greene is also supposedly part of the or-
ganization. However, that little fact is
dropped almost immediately while the
plot keeps going. Along the way, Bond
meets Olga Kurylenko’s character,
Camille, the Bond girl of the film, who
wants revenge on Greene’s business
partner, General Medrano. The two
team up to take down Greene and save
Bolivia from falling into further tyran-
nical hands, all the while fueling their
need for revenge.
All that sounds dandy, right? Well,
QOS unfortunately stands out as just a
culmination of a lot of things that make
a series action movie bland. An impor-
Vol. XXX, Issue 6 | Wednesday, November 26, 2008
tant note to make once more is that
QOS stands as the first direct James
Bond sequel in the series’ now 22 film
run. It follows Casino Royale, 2006’s
smash hit, and attempts to carry with it
You will like this movie if you enjoy EXPLOSIONS!!! SEX!!!
FUNNY ACCENTS!!! And ACTION!!! Extreme!!!!!!!
the same punch viewers received two
years ago. It falls short because of how
great its predecessor was received.
Casino Royale was definitely a hard act
to follow, especially considering that
many critics call it one of the best Bond
films, let alone acting debuts, in the se-
ries. It dwarfs its sequel and leaves it to
make mistake after mistake.
Another problem comes in the
form of the change in directors. Martin
Campbell directed Craig’s debut, while
Marc Foster took the helm of the sequel.
The change in directors is clear in Fos-
ter’s lack of action film knowledge. The
fights seem too reminiscent of past
Bond battles, and the action seems to
hope that its “gritty realism” that made
Casino Royale so fresh would carry over.
Instead, one is left with hardly any
memorable scenes. Despite a car, a boat,
and a plane chase, you’ll find yourself
thinking in the back of your head how
lackluster these scenes are compared to
the previous films’. The choreography
doesn’t match up, and the switch in di-
rectors certainly didn’t help.
The acting for the most part is
solid. Craig doesn’t seem to want to stop
being a great Bond any time soon, so
you don’t have to worry about that. Olga
Kurylenko does a good job at portray-
ing an equally messed up revenge
binger, and Mathieu Amalric does a
similar job as the villain. Both are solid,
but nothing that really shocks you. The
only secondary character that seemed
to stand out was the peppy Ms. Fields,
played by Gemma Arterton. Acting as
an MI6 affiliate sent to take Bond home,
you’ll find that she drops off the radar
far too quickly and leaves you with a de-
sire for more character development.
The script was as average as the casting,
leaving room for a few funny one-lin-
ers, but had nothing as deep or enter-
taining as Royale’s.
As for the plot, it’s important to
know that Casino Royale was based al-
most solely on Ian Fleming’s first Bond
novel of the same name, giving it an ex-
tremely solid ground for the script and
fleshing out of an entertaining plot. This
new Bond series is attempting to head
back to its roots and use as much Flem-
ing as possible, but QOS seems to be
just a bundle of different Fleming ele-
ments. The secret organization, which
you don’t know is named Quantum
until the end of the film, had me so ex-
cited, considering how important it is in
the novel world of Bond, but it’s just left
out to dry. You see a few faces and hear
a few names like Mr. White, the man
who infiltrated MI6 and blackmailed
Bond’s lover in the first film, but once
Dominic Greene is the villain, the
movie runs full steam ahead. It com-
pletely ignores the monumental plot el-
ement it could have used.
Quantum of Solace is not horrible.
If you’re any type of Bond fan, you al-
most have to see it because of how great
Craig really is as the title character. If
you’ve never seen a Bond flick before,
please start with Casino Royale, not just
because QOS is its sequel, but also be-
cause it is simply a far better film. Fos-
ter’s attempt at Bond was unlucky to
have to follow Martin Campbell’s, and
we can only hope that Craig’s third,
which undoubtedly will be coming in a
few years time, revitalizes the Bond
spirit as much as Craig’s debut did in
2006.
The Stony Brook Press
Rock Yo’ Face Case Rocks On
By Liz Kaempf
If you are feeling hesitant about
Stony Brook’s newest music extrava-
ganza, RockYoFace Case, you better
leave it at the door. The showcase, cre-
ated by Patrice Zapiti and Carlos Par-
reno, is definitely showing face and
lighting a fire in a currently dreary
music scene.
In the Black Box Theatre in the
Tabler Arts Center on Thursday, No-
vember 13, the second of these shows,
which seemed to skimp on the number
of attendees, bulked up quickly and fea-
tured not only talented local bands, but
an onslaught of seemingly unnecessary
moshing, two-stepping, interpretative
and ballroom dancing. I forgive the two
assholes that refused to refrain from
making fools of themselves because the
highlighted bands were surprisingly
good and the dedication and passion
Patrice showed in her introduction ac-
tually made you want to stay through-
out the whole show. Most people did,
including the musicians themselves
who showed venerable support for the
rest of the bands on the line-up.
And now a question: What’s better
than one frontman? Answer: Two front-
men! Slothbear delivers this and more
with their bonafide, rough-around-the-
edges garage band sound. The guys,
who claim they created punk rock in
the 1960’s, were down a bassist that
night due to 12 hours of classes and still
managed to maul the opening of the
showcase. My favorite performance of
the night consisted of five Slothbear
classic hits. The first song, “Don’t Taunt
a Tiger” urged the people in from far
and wide, captivating its listeners. The
vocals switched off between frontmen
Arts & Entertainment 19
and there was a lovely eclectic use
of drumsticks as guitar picks. The
guitars blended together incredi-
bly with each other and with the
note-worthy drumming backing
the boys up. The whole band was
totally in sync without much of
an effort. Their last song, “Olio/D
Jam” could have lasted forever
and I’m sure nearly everyone
(coughSBUfacultycough) would
have been okay with it, except
that one of their frontmen looked
as though he might have been
having a seizure. It’s alright. It was
a good seizure. One induced by
clever lyrics, cymbal crashes and
rocking guitar melodies.
Next in line was an almost-
Song.” For those of us whose glass is half ity of Myriad was mind-blowing. The
too-long set performed by The Gekko
full, The Gekko State definitely showed lead guitar parts tore it up, the percus-
State. A seven-piece band that epito-
promise through the mishaps. Their sion was perfectly fast-paced, and I
mizes the indie hipster scene brought
best song of the night was “Sea Shanty” loved being able to hear every note the
laidback harmonies to the Black Box
and the props needed to go to their bassist hit. You can never have too
much bass. My only wish is that I could
have heard the vocals better, but the
music was too good for me to really
care. Their last song was dead-on. Myr-
iad said they have quite a few ending
songs, and they picked the right one for
RockYoFace. It was loud, intricate and
better than most metal/hardcore bands
I’ve heard. Hands down, best perform-
ance of the night.
I was outside the Black Box when
the last band had started. Their first
song sounded so familiar to me and
practically forced me back into the
room. I was pleasantly surprised when I
realized it was a rather skillful cover of
Sublime’s “Date Rape.” And it wasn’t
frontwoman’s melodic vocals for that their only cover that night, as Eugene’s
stage. Unfortunately for them, The
one. Their keyboard solo in their set Shoes also played a song by Fall of Troy.
Gekko State showed their inexperience
was awesome, and I think more should The guys probably brought in the
confusing the audience with misplaced
go to their violinist, who sounded in- largest crowd of the night and it wasn’t
song breaks and even having to restart a
credible when you could actually hear any wonder. The three-man show that
song, appropriately titled “The Hipster
her. Turn that chick’s mic up! is Eugene’s Shoes is a well-laid combi-
I’d give The Gekko State a nation of punk rock and … reggaeton?
few more rehearsals together Yeah, sure. Why not? Point is it worked.
to really perfect that hipster Their original songs, including a sweet
sound. They’ve got the po- one called “It’s a Wonderful Day,” were
tential, that’s for sure. delicately masterful. The singer’s voice
Third on was the hard- and guitar-playing were a perfect match
core band, Myriad. The best and gave a nice polish to their modern-
part of metal and hardcore ized, yet familiar, rock sound.
bands live is the energy, and All in all, RockYoFace’s second
Myriad’s set was like a 5- month running was a satisfying mix of
Hour Energy Shot mixed different musical genres that needs to be
with Pixie Sticks on steroids. attended to be appreciated. So, start up
Their singer was all over the your own band and sign up for the
place and almost tripped showcase. Let’s be honest, you have
once or twice, as well as al- nothing better to do. Rock the scene
most bringing down the bass and rock yo face!
guitar when his mic cord got
stuck on it. Potential natural
disasters aside, the musical-
20 Vol. XXX, Issue 6 | Wednesday, November 26, 2008

On The Mirror’s Edge of Fun

and Frustration
I can honestly say I didn’t see this
coming. A Gamestop employee hands
me a bright yellow messenger bag and
four hours later I’m watching the end
credits of DICE’s Mirror’s Edge. Now
the messenger bag is pretty sweet, but
Mirror’s Edge - like its clean, empty,
Orwellion cityscape - left me feeling
cold. It wasn’t until after its forgiv-
ingly short campaign that the game
came into its own.
For all its talk of freedom, run-
ning and flow, Mirror’s Edge manages
to stunt momentum at nearly every
conceivable opportunity. Forget the
trailers you’ve seen, or even the demo
you may have played - those mo-
ments where you string one leap into
the next or maneuver deftly through a
squad of armed guards rarely come.
Elevators mask loading times, grind-
ing the action to a halt, and even then,
the game will lock up completely to load you for trying something different. You That premise was what set expecta- The time trials represent all that I
the next area. Often, you’ll be running spend much of the game guessing the tions so high. Mirror’s Edge was the pre- had hoped for in the main game.
at a full clip only to hit the brick wall of designer’s intentions, all the while being ordained torchbearer of innovation in Stripped of all conflict, the mode fo-
a load time, shotgun blast, or obtuse shot at relentlessly. The liberal use of the first-person genre. Like last year’s cuses on pure free-running. The trials
level design. Runner vision, red high- gunfire to move things along has never Portal, it takes the perspective beyond take small one or two minute chunks of
lights intended to hold your hand, do felt so unnecessary. It would be one aiming guns, eschewing violence for a the best areas of the main game and ask
little to keep up the pace in an unintu- thing tf running were always a viable fresh experience. At least that was the you to get to several checkpoints as
itive environment. option, but you’re forced to fight on sev- idea, but just as the turrets in Portal quickly as possible. The ability to down-
Split paths in the world come and eral occasions. For such a short game, rushed you to trial-and-error deaths load ghosts of other players’ best runs
go at random. While one area may be it’s puzzling how often it strays from its rather than deductive reasoning, the allows you to see the creative ways peo-
wide open, another will inexplicably kill own premise. guards in Mirror’s Edge push you to run ple top the leader boards. It’s here that
blindly towards death or succumb to all the depth of the mechanics comes
a hail of bullets. The insistence on through. You can shave seconds
conflict became so overbearing that I through precise timing and angles of
found myself taking arms, clocking in approach. Keeping up momentum be-
for a bit of Halo just so I could get a comes a nuanced and intuitive aspect of
lay of the land. Developer DICE fails navigating the world. The simple three-
to escape the trappings of the genre button control scheme is bolstered by
from which it seems so desperate to fully realized animations that denote
set itself apart. the difference between barely grabbing
Where it slips up in the story a ledge or clearing it and launching into
mode, Mirror’s Edge all but redeems a full sprint.
itself in the unlockable time trials. Mirror’s Edge comes to life in the
The icing on a blood-pressure- time trial mode. It’s so much fun that
spiking cake, this secondary mode I’m ultimately happy with it despite a
steals the show. It boggles my mind very low opinion of the story mode. It’s
that DICE would tuck this away in the hard to deny a failure there, and I worry
second page of the main menu. After that many people will miss out on what
four hours of frustration, I found my- I consider the meat of the game. But the
self logging another few hours with trials offer at least as much content as
the time trials that night, desperate to that mode, so if you can take the good
return to it the next day. At last, Mir- with the bad, I highly recommend
ror’s Edge was fun! checking it out.
The Stony Brook Press
Death and
Destruction at
BB King’s with
the Aquabats!
By Jon Singer
Cult bands have their followings,
and The Aquabats! are no exception.
For one Thursday evening, kids and
“kids” infiltrated Times Square appear-
ing in full Aquabats! uniform as far
south as the Penn Station Taco Bell.
There are different levels of obser-
vance. Some splurge on the full uni-
form, buying a rashguard, goggles,
helmet and belt. The whole thing costs
over $70, so others make due with
homemade knockoffs, modified Under
Armour tops and Nike athletic shirts.
The ‘bats have a tradition of tour-
ing with wacky bands. In 2005, it was
21
arts&entertainment
space rock band The Phenome-
nauts. In 2007 it was nerdcore
rapper MC Lars, whose been
“post-postmodern since junior
high,” and this year it’s Tragedy,
metal Bee Gees tribute band.
There are nine people in the kayfabe. A golden idol robot inter- ago, and now his favorite song is “The
band, not counting the guy who dances rupted the show, threatening to end The Baker.” “The Baker” wasn’t on Thurs-
on stage in high school wrestling garb Aquabats! career. But with enough en- day’s set list. Brian was one of the all out
while his band plays a distortion filled ergy from the New York City crowd, the fans decked out in rashguard, helmet
version of “Nights on Broadway.” band was able to defeat the monster, just goggles and belt. The full uniform is
But there is always a straight man. in time to perform their hit song “Pool secondhand; he purchased it from a
The Aquabats! 2008 tour has that role Party.” friend “for like $20 bucks,” he says.
filled by Suburban Legends, a ska band Also joining in on the fun was The I forgot to ask Brian why his friend
that makes kids skank. Golden Chicken, star of the oldie but gave up dressing like an Aquabat! Per-
But some people are too old to goodie song “‘Magic Chicken.” That is, a haps he or she became too old for a
skank, especially when BB Kings’ man dressed in a chicken suit, possibly band that sings about CD Repo Man,
Thursday venue is most;u part blues the same guy who wore the robot suit, Captain Hampton and the Midget Pi-
club and even more part bar. There was danced on stage for the duration of the rates and whatever the fuck a Martian
a visible disparity song. The band’s set list included old fa- Girl is. Personally, I am getting too old
between the kids vorites as well as newer songs, although for this shit.
on the dance floor their last album came out in 2005. For
and the “kids” at those keeping track at home, they
the bar. At an opened with “Fashion Zombies, and
Aquabats! show, closed with “Awesome Forces.”
the MC Bat Com- Brian, a 16 year old from New Jer- All Photos by Andrew Fraley
mander calls sey with an undisclosed last name (it’s
everybody kids. all about concealing one’s identity), got
The Com- into The Aquabats! a year and a half
mander heckled
those at the bar,
jokingly referring
to them as those
upper class people
who receive tax
cuts. But he was
even more critical
of the people who
sat at the tables
and ate chicken
wings. By the end
of the night how-
ever, The Bat
Commander man-
aged to get every-
one in the venue
on their feet.
The concert
was almost cut
short, at least in
the eyes of those
who believe in
22 Vol. XXX, Issue 6 | Wednesday, November 26, 2008

arts&entertainment
“Dumbocracy”: We’re All Idiots
By Alex H. Nagler
In today’s political climate, people
tend to forget that there is a middle
ground. The perception that people are
either abortion-loving baby killers who
think gays should marry dogs or gun-
humping Jesus lovers who think that
Rush Limbaugh is the Messiah is false,
as there are plenty of people in between.
Marty Beckerman’s new book, Dumb-
ocracy: Adventures with the Loony Left,
the Rabid Right and Other American Id-
iots examines this idea through a series
of topical rants detailing a wide spread
of issues from terrorism to gay rights,
taking time to assault puritans as he
goes.
Mr. Beckerman believes that the ex-
treme activists on both sides are well in-
tentioned, but go too far to try to
enforce the ideals of their respective
movements. Most normal people
wouldn’t demand that children be ac-
knowledged as sexual beings or demand
an abrupt halt to trimming sideburns,
able work comes when he details every-
thing going on around him at the 2004
Republican National Convention in
New York City. He focuses on what’s
going on inside and outside, interview-
ing everyone he can and pointing out
how damn ridiculous everyone with a
poster, flyer, or megaphone really was.
His discussions with RNC delegates
about the sanctimony of George Bush,
referred to as King Retard throughout
the book, are enlightening, especially
when the chairman of the Iowa Repub-
lican Party asserted that, “This is the
GOP. God’s Official Party.”
Republicans aren’t the only idiots at
the RNC. The Democrats screeching
about the First Amendment are just as
entertaining as the Republicans
screeching about Jesus. Rather than
elaborate on the statements, I’ll allow
one Democratic protester, Henry, to ex-
plain why he was protesting:
“So we should go to war with the
whole country—let’s just fuck up the
whole country. We’re killin’ innocent
people. We’re killin’ children. We’re
killin’ … killin’ everyone. And people
shit to do with anything, it’s
so much fun.’ What the
fuck, man? We’re … We’re
… we’re united, and we
fucking stand for freedom,
but what the fuck are we
doing? All the countries
ahead of us are against us
now! [King Retard], you’re
a liar! You’re a politician,
and you lie!”
The book is full of
quotes, just like this, from
both sides of the aisle on
every hot button issue
today. If this sounds like the
sort of thing that’s interest-
ing, read “Dumbocracy.”
Hunter S. Thompson was
right when he called Marty
Beckerman a “morbid little
bastard.” American youths
have become politically ac-
tive for the first time in a
generation. “Dumbocracy”
is a book that anyone polit-
ically active should read to
ensure that this generation

Dark, Disturbing Italian Theater

but those on the radical wings of gay here were like, ‘We’re bombin’ children, doesn’t become as idiotic as
and religious rights would say that. it’s so much fun, we’re bombin’ kids, the last.
Some of Beckerman’s most enjoy- we’re bombin’ people who don’t have

By Robert Venosa
Prior to attending the latest event
hosted by the Center for Italian Studies,
I had never realized the relative exten-
siveness and hominess of the Center’s
headquarters. It is, for the most part,
smartly and comfortably accoutered.
The screening room is furnished with
numerous comfortable chairs, the hall-
way to the conference room adorned
with hundreds of large tomes and
videos, and the conference room also
comfortably adorned. In the confer-
ence room, several very nice grand-
motherly women from the Center
offered such delectables as panettone
and a dizzying array of different types
of coffee. Then, we were abruptly, yet
somehow simultaneously, politely ush-
ered into the screening room.
The lights went dim, and the audi-
ence, which included the playwright of
the monologue, Enrico Bernard, who
incidentally sat directly to the front and
slightly to the right of me, was treated
to the quite able performance of Big
Bang. The monologue lasted for what I
estimate to be nearly an hour and a half,
and Frank Marzullo, the monologist,
with a typical New York accent, which I
have been unable to determine to be
natural or theatrical, treated his audi-
ence to an intriguing performance.
Set in Brooklyn, the play revolves
around the mental breakdown of an
anonymous, lonely apartment dweller
in an unnamed, yet apparently highly
populated, part of town. Except excur-
sions into town to purchase food and
other necessities of life, he is effectively
self-quarantined in his apartment most
of the time, because he fears being
tracked by anyone and everyone. To
ensure he leaves as little a trace of his
existence as possible, he deals only in
cash payments for his necessary pur-
chases and makes sure to talk to no one.
When we first see the man, he is
having what appears to be a heart attack
and frantically panicking he calls 911.
After a few moments of conversing with
the unseen emergency operator, he be-
comes visibly and audibly aggravated,
raising his voice, gesticulating and ver-
bally abusing the emergency operator
because he had told the man he was not
having a heart attack, but rather, an
apnea. Dismayed and angered by being
informed that he was having “a simple
apnea,” he turns his attention to his cat
(a constant refrain) simply named
“Kitty” and usually invoked in a gentle,
baby-like manner, asking it if it is hun-
gry. Noticing the cat food, which was
corned beef, smelt like fish (or at least it
seemed so to him). Intrigued, he
checked the mailing label on the cat
food, and saw what he thought was an
odd mistake. All of this leads to a deliri-
ously dizzying series of events and con-
nections he seems to pull out of thin air.
What follows plot-wise is highly
complex and convoluted. It will suffice
to say, however, that the convolution
and confusion of the plot is a direct cor-
relative to the descent of the man from
seemingly mere neuroticism into pure,
unabated, unalloyed psychoticism set to
the background of a complex conspir-
acy he imagines is aligned against him.
In his mind, he inflates both a juvenile
“crime” – tagging a bathroom stall in
Orlando, Florida – he had committed
over 20 years earlier on a high school
trip, as well as a “moral crime,” in which
he had recently glanced up a girl’s short
skirt while walking up a stairwell, which
he thought was caught on camera. He
constructs in fevered bouts of mono-
logue and eventually, an argumentative
split-personality dialogue with himself
– an implausibly complex, constructed
reality in which the government’s agents
are closing in on him for his misdeeds,
rearing not only to arrest him, but to
make the mental anguish he was suffer-
ing as drawn out and acute as possible.
Like his cat, another constant re-
frain is the man’s repeated inquiries into
whether he has shut off the gas. The in-
variable answer is always that, yes, he
has and yet, he constantly asks the ques-
tion. I shall not divulge the ending of
the play to you, or many of the details
in between that I have left out partly be-
cause I do not want to ruin the play for
you, but also because I simply cannot
recount the dizzying array of events that
transpired. It is better to see this neu-
rotic stream of consciousness, border-
line Eugene-Ionesco-Theater -
the-Absurd play for yourself than have
me delineate the intricacies of the plot.
When I asked the playwright what
the inspiration for this odd story, and if
it was based on an actual person’s life,
he said it was simply an idea he had ges-
tating in his head. Furthermore, he ex-
plained it was inspired by the type of
place the world had become after the
September 11 attacks – a world marked
by intense fear, loneliness, seclusion,
and psychosis. I wouldn’t expect any-
thing less from a European playwright
obsessed with the psychotic.
The Stony Brook Press
Sandman: The Dream
Hunters
by Tia Mansouri
When I first heard that the novella
penned in 1999 by Neil Gaiman and il-
lustrated by Yoshitaka Amano would be
re-released as a comic book with new
art by P. Craig Russell, I wasn’t so much
skeptical as I was curious, considering
how much I enjoyed Russell’s work on
the original Sandman storyline. Read-
ing through the pages of the first issue,
it felt as though I was delicately un-
wrapping a gift, savoring each element
of the process, even though I had some
inkling as to what was inside. Illustrated
or not, works of fiction dealing with
love rarely stir up quite the depth of
longing and intensity that we some-
times wish they would. Labeling
Gaiman and Russell’s new version of
Batman: Cacophony
By Nick Eaton
Kevin Smith, better known as Silent
Bob, has left his mark on the comic
book universe by tackling Daredevil
and Green Arrow, reviving lesser
known villains and establishing an omi-
nous new one: Onomatopoeia.
Whether you avoid Smith’s work or be-
friended him on Facebook, few can
argue with the freshness he provides to
old and familiar characters. Batman:
Cacophony plays a balancing act be-
tween laying captivating foundations
for lesser-known characters (Zsasz
makes a disturbing appearance) while
recreating staple characters. Smith’s Bat-
man is two parts detective, one part
dark knight. His Joker: ambiguous in
sexuality, as dark as Heath Ledger’s and
as fun as Mark Hamill’s.
Madame Xanadu #5
by Tia Mansouri
If you like the occult, lesser-known
DC characters, and history, then you
might want to check out the series
Madame Xanadu, written by Matt Wag-
ner and penciled by Amy Reeder
Hadley. Wagner and Hadley’s title
caught my attention ever since it began
its run in June. It’s a carefully plotted
story simultaneously taking its main
character through time as well as un-
raveling the origins behind her abilities,
personality and relationships. In this
The Sandman: The Dream Hunters as
merely a “comic” or “love story” would
belittle it. Stylized pacing and intrigue
give the story an entirely new but not
unwelcome retelling.
In terms of turning it into a comic
book, I was worried that Gaiman’s nar-
rative would lose its impact since the
words demanded trimming to fit the
comic format. Instead, however, readers
were treated to a different type of pres-
entation through carefully orchestrated
visuals, and most of the text that is im-
portant is still entwined into the layout.
Hardcore fans will know the story and
appreciate this as Russell’s time to shine;
this is his chance to provide something
different. Luckily, the comic read as an
entirely separate experience. Russell un-
derstands the power of line and the
amount of insight a mere stroke can
provide. Clean and meticulous render-
ings of silhouettes and water, and cine-
matic but logical paneling made me
While much of the buzz around Ca-
cophony concerned the return of Ono-
matopoeia, the story focused on the
dynamic between the Joker and Maxie
Zeus. Inadvertently sprung from
Arkham by Deadshot, the Joker discov-
ers that Zeus has cut ecstasy with Joker
Venom creating the newest craze:
“chuckles.” Angered that his name has
been cheapened (“I’ll make yet another
dopey designer drug to goofy-up the
masses, because nobody’s ever thought
of something like that before uh-
doyyyyyy!”) the Joker, with some unex-
pected assistance, ignites a gang war
with Maxie.
The characters, as in all of Smith’s
works, never stop talking. Zsasz’s and
Batman’s internal dialogues are intimate
and eerie. The dialogue heavy issue
sharpens our focus on the characters
and their motivation, which helps to de-
issue, Madame Xanadu, a fortune-teller
and mystic, is found showing off her tal-
ents among high society during the
French Revolution.
The pacing in the story is excellent,
as is the timely development of Xanadu
into the character she is to become.
Wagner brings to light an important
caveat: given Xanadu’s ability to see the
future, she vows to never interfere with
matters of state. This is easier said than
done, despite even more warnings from
the Phantom Stranger, another charac-
ter whose history, sexual tension, and
eventual enmity with Xanadu is ex-
plored as well. Marie Antoinette also
23
look twice, just to take in the finer de-
tails of lightning or waves.
The structure and deliberate nature
of Russell’s vision provides a great con-
trast to Amano’s ethereal illustrations in
the earlier novella. As a reader, I liked
seeing another version which was not
necessarily as painterly; this story
brought more visual contrasts between
foreground and background. It also had
an expansive and evolving color palette,
thanks to colorist Lovern Kindzierski. I
didn’t mind that the fox protagonist
looked more ‘cartoony’—I liked seeing a
different version, equally endearing to
watch. Rather than act as two opposing
views, the two versions can now com-
plement each other in order to further
enhance Gaiman’s prose, which has the
power to build upon itself and reach a
devastating intensity at its finer points.
This is a four part series that is hailed in
ads as an event, and it is one that I’m
happy to follow.
tract from the mediocre art. Enlisting
his old friend Walt Flanagan to pencil
the comic, Smith seemed to have cho-
sen friends over fans. The illustration,
while decent, doesn’t pop. Flanagan’s
Joker is doughy and his Batman lacks
the emotion and depth to accompany
Smith’s engaging characterization.
Cacophony is a strong representa-
tion of Smith’s story-telling prowess. He
has managed to string together a story
that’s simple to understand while estab-
lishing the foundation for a deep and
complex future. While Flanagan’s art
leaves much to be desired, issue one of
Batman: Cacophony is certainly worth
picking up. Batman’s sleuthy nature and
the prospect of discovering the origins
of the sound mimicking, non-powered
vigilante slaughtering Onomatopoeia
are motivation enough to keep an eye
on Smith’s latest mini.
makes an appearance, and eventually so meant to be a part of the younger
do screaming mobs of angry Fran- Madame Xanadu’s character. Also of
cophiles. Wagner makes it all happen note is how meticulous Reeder Hadley’s
within a span of twenty pages or so, and costumes can get (which are enhanced
I commend him for it. thoroughly by Richard Friend’s fine ink-
In terms of the art, when it is on the ing). It was the ruffles on the cover that
mark, it soars, as seen in the rich cos- did it for me. How can one say no to
tume designs and evocative scenes of those frills?
destruction when the storming of the This is a series I’m keeping an eye
Bastille is depicted. Some readers may on. Check out this issue, as well as the
be turned off by the manga sensibilities next, in which Madame Xanadu wagers
that might seep into Hadley’s work, if against Death for her immortality. It’s
you really look hard enough. Truth be cheaper than both the cost of a fortune
told, I felt that what could be inter- telling and reads easier than your his-
preted as manga-esque eyes effectively tory textbook. What a deal.
reflect the bright-eyed naiveté that is
24 Vol. XXX, Issue 6 | Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Christopher I’m almost tempted to believe

by Amyl Nitrate
Smiling to myself, thinking of your eyes
I feel like such a dork and
I wish I could tell you without
Ruining things, as I tend to do
(The way you make me feel)
In you, in myself
You make me write silly poetry A contemplative haiku
by James Laudano
I wake up and think of you
You make the colors hum with hope
Each tree is a Russian ballet
Each leaf a ballerina

Gasp! There is open space!

This is the best part:
The start of something new
The sweet thrill of a crescendo
Slingshot screaming star-bound, faster!
Higher, hopeless, happy, (maybe)
The feeling this could really be something,
Truly
When you call me beautiful
The clouds have leapt into the sky
From toddler trampolines and
Float along, frozen in delightful poses
I feel a song beneath my feet Qucik! A haiku will fill it!
Dance with me!
I dig your candor Ha! What a cop out!
Call me darling,
Christopher.

Remember, dear readers, that next issue is our Fall

Literary Supplement. Send your poems, comics, short sto-
ries, art, or whatever to sbpressnews@gmail.com
The Stony Brook Press 25
26
Men’s Basketball Wins Season Opener
By Matt Braunstein
The men’s basketball team kicked
off the 08-09 season with a hard-fought
and convincing win over Maryland-
Eastern Shore with a score of 60-44. The
Seawolves opening game win inspired
the hope and change many students
have been talk about considering last
year’s record.
The Seawolves jumped out to an
early lead and kept it throughout the
whole game, despite constant efforts by
Maryland-Eastern Shore to get back in
the game. The Seawolves looked cohe-
sive in their first game, and showed off
a lot of talent and potential for the sea-
son ahead. To best understand these
players’ skill set and appearance, we
have bestowed them with nicknames
One if By Land, Three if By Field Goal
that reflect their NBA counterparts.
By Jason Wirchin
ESPN Radio called it best: “The
overtime winning attempt, the snap, the
placement down, the kick on the
way…towards the uprights…it is
GOOD! Feely nails it and the Jets sur-
vive!” It was a night for the ages, a game
of all games, a victory long overdue.
Gang Green’s week 11, 34-31 nail biter
win in Foxborough knocked New Eng-
land from the division lead, pushing the
7-3 Jets into first place. Not without
drama and plenty of hype, this rematch
of divisional foes left Mangini’s bunch
feeling more than satisfied heading into
a showdown against Tennessee this
weekend.
Losers of 11 of their last 12 versus
New England, Favre and company
came into Gillette Stadium hungry for
a “W.” Tied for the number one spot
in the AFC East, Gang Green had a
chance to sit alone atop the division
for the first time since November
2001. Right out of the gates, it looked
as if this might be the case.
Favre tossed a 7 yard screen pass
to Leon Washington, who ran it in for
New York’s fist touchdown. After a
Jay Feely field goal, Washington
struck again with a 92-yard kickoff re-
turn for his second TD of the evening.
With less than 5 minutes left in the
second quarter, Favre hit Jerricho
Cotchery in the end zone, giving the
Vol. XXX, Issue 6 | Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Senior guard Michael Tyree (5 ft 11,
#5), resembling Milwaukee Bucks’
Tyron Lue, started the game by sinking
a deep three-pointer. He has range all
over the court and was a big scorer for
the team last year. Senior forward
Demetrius Young (6 ft 6, #21), most
similar to Portland Trailblazers’ Travis
Outlaw, brought the home crowd to its
feet on a vicious fast break dunk late in
the first half. He has an excellent frame
for defense and shows flashes of supe-
rior athletic ability.
Stony Brook has infused its team
with some foreign talent this year as
well. Freshman forward Danny Carter
(6 ft 9, #2), whose playing skills were
close to Bucks Joe Alexander, has come
all the way from Windsor, England.
Carter displayed his diverse skill by
scoring 11 points and dishing out a
game-high three blocks. He has good
size, evidenced by his rebounds and
Jets a 24-6 advantage and an eventual
24-13 halftime lead.
Down more than two scores at the
start of the third, Patriots coach Bill Be-
licheck admitted that his team had their
work cut of for them. “We dug our-
selves a hole,” he said. But these are the
mighty Patriots – the 18-1 juggernaut
from less a year ago – and, although
plagued with a surplus of injuries, they
know a thing or two about staging
comebacks.
On the final play from scrimmage
in the third quarter, Quarterback Matt
Cassel connected with Ben Watson on
a 10-yard touchdown pass, cutting the
Jets’ lead to 24-21 after a successful two-
point conversion. With just under 11
minutes remaining in the fourth,
Gostkowski tied it with a field goal, his
third of the night.
blocks, but can also hit the three and
move well in transition. Freshman
guard/forward Tommy Brenton (6 ft 5,
#24), resembling the Detroit Pistons’
White Jason Maxiell led the Seawolves
in rebounds with 16, along with 8
points. He is an excellent defender and
hustle player, who showed a commit-
ment to tough defense and was able to
score numerous put-backs on offensive
rebounds despite being undersized at
the forward position.
Point guard Bryan Dougher (6 ft 1,
#10) resembled the Trailblazers’ Steve
Blake showing great leadership on the
court for a freshman, as he executed the
offense smoothly and played with a
high motor. He is a prototypical point
who passes the ball well, finds the open
man, moves the ball well in transition,
and can shoot the occasional three. Jun-
ior guard Eddie Castellanos (6 ft 1, #12)
paralleled the Cleveland Cavaliers’ Eric
When the defending AFC champs
visited the Meadowlands in September,
the Jets’ ground game was shut down at
the goal line. Running back Thomas
Jones made sure of better results this
time, barreling across the plane for a 1-
yard touchdown run.
As the clock ticked to the one-
minute mark, New England marched
from their own 38 down to the Jets’ red
zone without any timeouts. On fourth
down, Cassel threw a risky sideline pass
that Randy Moss caught as he slid out
of bounds with one second on the clock.
Fans held their collective breath as the
play went under review, exulting when
the referee signaled touchdown.
Gostkowski’s extra point was good, and
off we went into sudden death.
If any Jet felt apprehensive, it was
undoubtedly the quarterback. “They
Snow by not showing much on offense,
but being a beast on defense.
Freshman forward Dallis Joyner (6
ft 7, #23), playing like the Houston
Rockets’ Carl Landry, and junior for-
ward/center Andrew Goba (6 ft 9, #32),
playing like the Trailblazers Ike Diogu,
shared minutes running the frontcourt
for SBU. Head coach Steve Pikiell, in
many ways resembling Golden State
Warriors’ coach Don Nelson, ran a
perimeter oriented offense with an em-
phasis on pushing the fast break. When
SBU did get into a half-court set they
constantly passed the ball around the
perimeter, but rarely did they run the
offense through the post. At times in the
game they lived and died by the three.
Their scrappy defense was the Sea-
wolves biggest strength during the
game. Steals and shot denials lead to fast
breaks and quick points. Maryland-
Eastern Shore was able to score uncon-
were rolling on offense, our defense was
tired,” Favre said, “I was nervous as
heck.” His qualms were understand-
able, but short-lived. Winning the coin
toss, Gang Green covered 64 yards in 14
plays in the only drive of overtime.
After a 16-yard pass to Laveranues
Coles and a 6-yard gain by Thomas
Jones, Feely slammed home the game-
winning field goal and sealed one of the
greatest games between these two rivals.
As for local reactions to the out-
come, plenty of Stony Brook students,
current and past, voiced their opinions.
Alumnus Eric Valesio made no hesita-
tion to hide his emotions. “It was awe-
some,” he said, “I was sitting on the edge
of my seat the entire game!”
Similarly, Senior Jason Shank said,
“I’m happy the Jets won. I think Brett
Favre is the reason for them doing so
well.”
Of course, there were those who
were not so optimistic. Sophomore
Ross Barkan kept the win in perspec-
tive. “I’m excited the Jets won, but let-
ting Matt Cassel throw for like 1,000
yards [he actually racked up 400] and
barely defeating the Pats without
Brady makes the victory seem some-
what shallow.”
As expected, there were also New
England fans who couldn’t stand the
thought of second-place. Junior
Parker Ince said, “Obviously, the Jets
got lucky; plain and simple.”
Lucky, maybe. In first place, defi-
nitely.
The Stony Brook Press
tested down in the post, but SBU is
likely to improve in that area as the sea-
son progresses.
Because the primary basketball
arena is being renovated, the Pritchard
student gymnasium is being used as
SBU’s home court. So far, it has been a
success. Students turned out in force
and filled the gymnasium nearly to ca-
pacity. The dance team, cheerleaders,
and school band were all in attendance
and the crowd loudly showed our swag-
ger like any Division I program should.
After winning their home opener,
the Seawolves lost three consecutive
College Football “Playoffs!?”
By Matt Braunstein
On Monday, November 3, the night
before the presidential election, Barack
Obama did a televised interview with
ESPN’s Chris Berman during the Mon-
day Night Football half-time show.
Though I’m sure he had a lot on his
mind, he put it all to the side to talk a
little sports with the Swami. Berman
asked the president elect, “If you could
change one thing in sports, what would
that be?” Obama’s answer was simple,
direct, and indicative of a brilliant and
insightful president. He told Berman,
“College football needs a playoff.” He
elaborated further, but allow me to ex-
plain why our next president is un-
doubtedly correct. NCAA Division I
College Football is currently the only
widely popular and televised team sport
that has no playoff system. The question
we must ask ourselves is, “why?!”
Every major team sport, including
high school and professional football,
uses a playoff at the end of the regular
season to determine which team in any
given league, division, conference or re-
gion is the best. The number of teams
that make the playoffs varies from sport
to sport. In Major League Baseball, only
eight teams reach the postseason, while
in college basketball 64 teams are placed
in a huge playoff bracket.
Just about every sport sees a playoff
as the best way to determine a cham-
pion through the process of elimina-
tion. The teams that have the best
records during the regular season fill up
the bracket and are seeded from most to
least wins. Then, the top seeds play the
lower seeds in a progression of rounds.
This allows the lower teams that have
the smallest chance to advance either to
be eliminated quickly or upset in an ex-
citing fashion. Then, at the end, the top
two teams play a game or a series and
the winner is the undisputed champ.
Even the dumbest sports fan under-
stands this.
Somehow, college football has ig-
nored this simple and successful
method and instead has chosen a con-
troversial, complicated, irritating, and
downright retarded postseason system.
I give you the BCS a.k.a. the Bowl
Championship Series a.k.a. the pain in
college football’s ass. First implemented
in 1998, the BCS combines coaches’
polls, sports writers’ polls, strength of
schedule, margins of victory and com-
puter selection methods to determine
relative team rankings on a weekly
basis. This is done by computers
throughout the course of the regular
season, and it aims to narrow down the
field to two teams who will play in the
national championship game. It also de-
termines which teams will compete in
the Orange, Fiesta and Sugar bowl
games.
The problem with getting rid of this
system is that it currently is a huge rev-
enue source for a lot of college pro-
grams. Millions of dollars are made
through corporate sponsorship and ad-
vertising of games that are held every
year by the same schools. The universi-
ties want the nationally televised expo-
sure just as much as the corporations
do. While supporters and beneficiaries
of the BCS will defend it by whining
about tradition, the truth is that cash
rules everything around college foot-
ball. Why should college universities be
any less greedy than professional sports
organizations?
This system is fundamentally
flawed because it ignores enormous fac-
tors that determine the record and sea-
son of a college football team. Instead
they use stats and number crunching to
determine which two teams have the
right to compete for a national champi-
onship. Over the course of a lengthy 13-
game season, teams gain and lose
momentum through crucial individual
and team performances.
A team that starts the season strong
can fall apart and finish poorly, but,
teams that have rough starts can turn
their season around and become title
contenders. For instance, the NY Giants
had an 8-8 record going into the play-
27
games to LaFayette, Wagner, and Amer-
ican, 80-71, 65-62, and 56-53 respec-
tively. Coming off two nail biting losses,
the Seawolves defeated Columbia in a
62-60 win on Nov 29. The Men’s bas-
ketball team is currently 2-3 with their
next home game this Friday against
Lehigh at 7 pm. Stony Brook is also set
to play Long Island rivals Hofstra at
home on Wednesday, December 10.
offs before making their historic post-
season run and winning the Super
Bowl. In the same season, the New Eng-
land Patriots were undefeated during
the regular season, won all their playoff
rounds but choked in the Super Bowl
against the underdog Giants.
If the NFL used a system like the
BCS, the Patriots would still have been
in the Super Bowl, but the Giants never
would have been given a chance. Today,
we live in an evolving multi-media
sports arena, in which games are broken
down and analyzed on radio, television,
and the Internet. Because of advances in
technology, games are now computed
and broken down by stats, almost in
favor of the game film.
Anchors on ESPN can tell you how
many times in the fourt quarter, with
less than four minutes left, across a span
of four seasons, a coach will go for it on
fourth and short. Then, using data like
this, some shmuck posing as an expert
will predict who’s going to win the big
game. But what these people have for-
gotten, and what the BCS blindly ig-
nores, is that anything can happen on
any given Sunday, or, in this case, Sat-
urday.
Instead of using a team’s stats in
what were considered big or close wins,
over what are considered strong or
weak opponents, just let it all be decided
on the field—not in some computer, or
from a collection of polls, but on the
field of play. Let the top teams compete
for who is the best. That is how you
avoid the controversy that comes with
top teams being snubbed from bowl
games. Plus, it’s a lot more exciting for
the fans. We love to see the best teams
compete with each other, and since we
are the driving force that has made col-
lege football such a monumental spec-
tator sport, what we want definitely
should matter.