9/30/2011

Tact Grace Manners Kindness Consideration Breeding

by: Gerald B. Pearanda, M.Sc. (gbpenaranda@yahoo.com)

ETIQUETTE defined

Rules governing socially acceptable behavior to make people more comfortable with each other. These rules are based on kindness and consideration. The conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life.

Flush toilet after every use Never leave hair on the soap after use Always keep toilet seat bowl cover down and clean; never

Importance of ETIQUETTE
It differentiates and puts a person on the privileged list in any social situation; It enables one to be confident in a variety of setting with a variety of people; It helps modify distracting behavior and helps develop admirable conduct of real ladies and gentlemen

leave urine marks on the bowl rim

Clean up the tub or shower area, including the shower

curtains or door after taking a bath

Clean up your own plates as you go after every meal

(CLAYGO)
Press toothpaste tube from the bottom and not near the

cap
Always use serving spoon for rice and other viands shared

with the rest of the family or friends

Refill water bottles and ice trays in the refrigerator after use Respect peoples property and privacy. Never barge into

their rooms without knocking on the door.

Brush your teeth after

every meal and floss at least once a day; Change your toothbrush at least every three (3) months Push back, cut, or pull out hair that keeps on popping out!

9/30/2011

Keep face oil free Shave unless its your fashion

Keep hair neat and tidy Do something about armpit

statement to grow beard/mustache Long hair should be tied neatly at the back; medium length hair should be gelled to show ears Keep finger and toe nails short and clean Wear cologne with gentle fragrance Earrings should be small and subtle

hair, e.g., shave, pluck, or wax!

Never remove your shoes or rub

your ankle in public

Fragrance should be subtle and

mysterious
Beauty in simplicity: wear light

make-up during the day

Daring clothes, heavy make up,

and jewelry are for evenings only

Sexy clothes are for Sexy people and to be worn in

Sexy places

Clean and shine shoes always Clothes should always be pressed Men: wear socks in leather shoes and choose socks in

neutral colors worn above the ankles to cover legs when they are crossed Choose white or light colored handkerchiefs for formal occasions Loud colored pants are for beach and leisure wear only

STREET Etiquette
Respect other peoples space, e.g., ATM booth, cinema or church queues When walking slowly in groups, let others pass from behind you Do not litter in the surroundings; dispose of garbage properly When crossing the street, use the pedestrian lane or overpass when available. If none, cross from corner to corner of the sidewalk Avoid walking on the street when there are sidewalks available Men should always be on the danger side when walking or crossing the street with women Board and alight vehicles properly. Women should board first, but men should alight first

STREET Etiquette
Be considerate of others in PUJs, PUBs, LRT & MRT, even if others are inconsiderate. Learn to say Thank you loudly when people show kindness Men dont have to give up seat for women. But if the seat becomes available, offer it first to women When boarding buses, trains and elevators, let outgoing people alight first. Never push. When driving, respect pedestrians, traffic enforcers and stop lights Avoid blowing horns unless absolutely necessary

9/30/2011

Etiquette in THEATERS
Men should take aisle seats when with women When arriving late, take seats at the back to avoid distracting people Turn off your mobile phones or switch them to silent mode Talking, coughing, rattling candy wrappers and crackling of nuts are annoying, irritating and disturbing to everyone Exit the place one at a time; it is rude to push people towards the exit Learn to say pardon me quietly when sneezing or coughing

Etiquette in CHURCH
Always wear conservative clothing. You are in church to worship, NOT to be worshipped Do not unduly attract attention to yourself when entering. You can do this inconspicuously Acknowledge greetings with a slight bow of your head or a smile If you have something to say, whisper in a very soft voice Do not laugh out loud or giggle to death Participate actively but do not attract attention to yourself

Special Rules for the De La Salle Campus

Present your ID at the entrance gates. This is for security purposes. Stop walking and talking when the Angelus is recited at 12:00 noon and 6:00 pm CLAYGO (Clean as you go) in all eating places. Clean up the classroom as you leave. Throw all waste materials in trash cans, return chairs to proper places, erase the board, turn off lights if no class follows. Wear proper campus attire. You should be attractive not distractive. Walk on the right side of corridors and stairs. Allow those exiting from elevators and rooms to pass before you enter. Give way to brothers, faculty and administrators as a sign of respect. Keep campus clean and green.

Etiquette in ESCORTING A LADY

A rule of thumb would be to remember that, as a gentleman, you are expected to shield the lady you are escorting. When crossing the street be on the side of the traffic flow, so that if a car does hit, it will hit you instead of her When walking on the pavement, be on the outside so that if a puddle is splashed you will get wet instead of her When climbing the stairs you allow her to go ahead so that if she falls you can catch her. When descending you go ahead, so that if she trips you will break her fall When entering the door you go ahead to facilitate this for her; when exiting the same.

Etiquette in RESTAURANTS
When entering a restaurants, men should precede women and hold the door for them Men should pull the seat for women before taking their own Hosts should ensure that their guests are seated first and with the best view When ordering food, women may order directly from the waiter

Etiquette in RESTAURANTS
Men should let the women order first, or may give the womens orders on their behalf first Women on a date should refrain from ordering expensive items especially if the man is not well-off! To call a waiter, catch his eye and then raise your hand, or call waiter quietly Clapping, whistling, shouting, or saying psst! is rude

9/30/2011

Etiquette in RESTAURANTS
When eating, take conservatively-sized bites, chew with your mouth closed, and avoid talking when your mouth is full Never use fork to cut meat. Ask for a steak knife or butter knife where necessary Never use the bread to mop plate, nor dunk it in hot coffee or cocoa

Etiquette in RESTAURANTS
Spoon soup away from you, you may tilt your bowl away from you Ash trays or flower vases are not meant to be souvenirs Pick your teeth using the toothpick while ensuring your mouth is covered using the other hand Never wipe anything on the underside of the table, lest be boogered yourself

Proper Introductions

Mention the name of the most important person first, i.e, older over younger, distinguished person over ordinary citizen, women over men, customer over supplier Acknowledge an introduction with a handshake. Its safe to say, Im pleased to meet you or Its a pleasure to meet you or How do you do? Men should rise for an introduction. Women may remain seated unless the person being introduced is a Very Important Person or a Distinguished Guest of Honor. Women should offer a hand shake Correct erroneous introductions right away, especially when your position was inadvertently promoted

Business Etiquette
Assume that all business associates prefer to be addressed formally You may address them by their first names only if they request it Be nice to the secretaries of business associates Be punctual for business appointments and meetings Smoke ONLY when ash trays are available

Business Etiquette
Always say thank you in writing after a favor has been given Profanities are no nos at the working place, i.e., dirty language is definitely what it is- DIRTY Men should open doors for women, but women should not stand helpless in front of the door Be extra sensitive and sensible especially when with VIPs

9/30/2011

Answer phone calls within 3 rings or less, with an appropriate greeting and with a smile A caller should identify himself/herself, and tell the reason for calling Speak softly and slowly Return calls within the day Keep conversations short, unless it is a teleconference If the call is not for you but for somebody who is not around, offer to take a message When you have dialed the wrong number, say sorry or if somebody dialed your number wrongly, say Sorry youve got the wrong number. Do not just bang the phone on its cradle Say bye and thank you

International Gestures

Not Acceptable Gestures

Do not speak to people with your hands in your pocket. Do not point Do not touch the other individual as you speak, it may be misinterpreted. Avoid excessive hand gestures. Do not touch your nose; this denotes nervousness. Do not wring your hands. Men must never be seated if a lady is standing. Do not kiss unless the person has indicated that this is acceptable. Do not cross your legs especially in the company of ladies, Thais and Middle Easterners. This is considered rude. The soles of your shoes must not point to the other individual.

Not Acceptable Gestures

The Thumbs up, Victory sign and Hang loose have different meanings in some countries. Be careful when you use them. Among Italians the commercial is on sign is offensive. It means canuto the devils horns; his wife is cheating on him. Be careful. Do not stand Akimbo with your arms on your hips and your feet apart. In Asia this is considered an aggressive stance. Ladies, do not readily extend your hands, particularly in Muslim countries. A deeply religious Muslim will have to cleanse before praying if a woman touches him. Do not wink, even as friendly gesture; it may be offensive.

Acceptable Gestures
In Asia the bow is the safest gesture in acknowledging a greeting. In the Western world a handshake is expected. Study the greeting that is practiced in the country of the person you are with. In Thailand it is a prayer like gesture. In Japan a bow, in Indonesia they bow slightly with the palms together, and say namaste if they are Hindu, and selamat if they are Muslim. Ask permission before lighting a cigarette. In almost every situation a light handshake is most acceptable. Refrain from the beso beso.

Acceptable Gestures
When asking for the bill, just indicate with your hands that you are ready to pay. Keep a space of about 2 feet between you and the person you are speaking to. It is more comfortable and nonintrusive. When speaking to another person have direct contact, but not too intensely. Always maintain good posture and sit properly. The good-bye wave is universal.

Personal Effectiveness Foundation PERSEF 1

Module 4 - 5 "Animo La Salle"

ETIQUETTE comes from a French word which means ticket or label. These are rules governing socially acceptable behavior to make people more comfortable with each other. These rules are based on kindness and consideration IMPORTANCE OF ETIQUETTE It differentiates on in any social situation and puts a person on the privileged list. It enables one to be confident in a variety of setting with a variety of people. It helps modify distracting behavior and helps develop admirable conduct of real ladies and gentlemen CATEGORIES OF ETIQUETTE Personal Private Public Professional

PERSONAL ETIQUETTE Basic Grooming for All Brush your teeth after every meal and floss at least once a day Change your toothbrush every 3 months. For easier recall change toothbrush on New Years Day, Palm Sunday, July 4th, and October 10 (Double Ten) Push back, cut or pull out nose hair that keeps popping out! Basic Grooming for Men Keep your face oil-free by having absorbent papers handy Shave unless its your fashion statement to grow beard and/or mustache Long hair should be tied neatly at the back; medium length hair should be gelled back to show ears. Keep finger and toe nails short and clean Wear cologne with gentle fragrance Earrings should be small and subtle Basic Grooming for Women Keep hair neat and tidy Do something about armpit hair, e.g., shave, pluck or wax! Never remove your shoes nor rub your ankles in public Fragrance in the form of eau de toilette, cologne, lotion or perfume should be subtle and mysterious Wear light make-up during the day; theres beauty in simplicity Avoid large and loud jewelry during the day Dressing for Men and Women Daring clothes, heavy make-up and jewelry are for evenings only Men should avoid large jewelry; and using foundation on the face is awkward for men Sexy clothes are for Sexy people to be worn in Sexy places

Personal Effectiveness Foundation PERSEF 1

Module 4 - 5 "Animo La Salle"

Clean and shine shoes always Men should always wear socks in leather shoes and choose socks in neutral colors, worn above the ankles to cover legs when they are crossed Clothes should always be pressed For formal occasions, choose white or light-colored handkerchief Men should never wear shirt under a blazer or coat that is supposed to be part of a suit Loud colored pants are for beach and leisure wear only

Home and Family Clean up your own plates as you go after every meal (CLAYGO) Clean up the tub or shower area, including the shower curtains or door after taking a bath Flush toilet after every use Always keep toilet seat bowl cover down and clean; never leave urine marks on the bowl rim Press toothpaste tube from the bottom and not near the cap Never leave hair on the soap after use Always use serving spoon for rice and other viands shared with the rest of the family or friends Refill water bottles and ice trays in the refrigerator after use Respect peoples property and privacy. Never barge into their rooms without knocking on the door.

ETIQUETTE (e-ti-ket) noun. The conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life

WORD HISTORY The Middle French word estiquette or etiquette denoted a label attached to something, such as a bundle of documents, for description or identification; it was a derivative of a medieval French verb estichier or estiquer to stick or attach (itself ultimately borrowed from a verb akin to Modern English stick and stitch in the old Germanic language called Frankish). Middle French etiquette is the source of the English word ticket, and Modern French etiquette still retains the primary meaning label. In the 16th century, the court of the Spanish king and Holy Roman Emperor Charles V borrowed Middle French etiquette as Spanish etiqueta to denote the written protocols describing order of precedence and other aspects of correct courtly behavior. The etiqueta eventually became the court ceremonies themselves as well as the documents that described them. Under the influence of Spanish, French tiquette also acquired the meaning proper court behavior and in the 18th century was borrowed into English. It then expanded in sense to cover all sorts of proper behavior required by society. From Websters Universal Encyclopedic Dictionary Hand-out M 5b

Personal Effectiveness Foundation PERSEF 1

Module 4 - 5 "Animo La Salle"

SOME RULES ON ETIQUETTE

PROFESSIONAL ETIQUETTE INTRODUCTIONS Mention the name of the most important person first, i.e, older over younger, distinguished person over ordinary citizen, women over men, customer over supplier Acknowledge an introduction with a handshake. Its safe to say, Im pleased to meet you or Its a pleasure to meet you or How do you do? Men should rise for an introduction. Women may remain seated unless the person being introduced is a Very Important Person or a Distinguished Guest of Honor. Women should offer a hand shake Correct erroneous introductions right away, especially when your position was inadvertently promoted TELEPHONE MANNERS Answer phone calls within 3 rings or less, with an appropriate greeting and with a smile A caller should identify himself/herself, and tell the reason for calling Speak softly and slowly Return calls within the day Keep conversations short, unless it is a teleconference If the call is not for you but for somebody who is not around, offer to take a message When you have dialed the wrong number, say sorry or if somebody dialed your number wrongly, say Sorry youve got the wrong number. Do not just bang the phone on its cradle Say bye and thank you BUSINESS ETIQUETTE Assume that all business associates prefer to be addressed formally You may address them by their first names only if they request it Be nice to the secretaries of business associates Be punctual for business appointments and meetings Smoke ONLY when ash trays are available Always say thank you in writing after a favor has been given Profanities are no nos at the working place, i.e., dirty language is definitely what it isDIRTY Men should open doors for women, but women should not stand helpless in front of the door Be extra sensitive and sensible especially when with VIPs

Hand-out M - 4b

Personal Effectiveness Foundation PERSEF 1

PUBLIC ETIQUETTE SPECIAL RULES FOR DE LA SALLE CAMPUS

Module 4 - 5 "Animo La Salle"

Present your ID at the entrance gates. This is for security purposes. Stop walking and talking when the Angelus is recited at 12:00 noon and 6:00 pm CLAYGO (Clean as you go) in all eating places. Clean up the classroom as you leave. Throw all waste materials in trash cans, return chairs to proper places, erase the board, turn off lights if no class follows. Wear proper campus attire. You should be attractive not distractive. Walk on the right side of corridors and stairs. Allow those exiting from elevators and rooms to pass before you enter. Give way to brothers, faculty and administrators as a sign of respect. Keep campus clean and green.

ESCORTING A LADY
A rule of thumb would be to remember that, as a gentleman, you are expected to shield the lady you are escorting. When crossing the street be on the side of the traffic flow, so that if a car does hit, it will hit you instead of her When walking on the pavement, be on the outside so that if a puddle is splashed you will get wet instead of her When climbing the stairs you allow her to go ahead so that if she falls you can catch her. When descending you go ahead, so that if she trips you will break her fall When entering the door you go ahead to facilitate this for her When exiting the same.

ETIQUETTE IN THE STREET Respect other peoples space, e.g., ATM booth, cinema or church queues When walking slowly in groups, let others pass from behind you Do not litter surroundings; dispose of garbage properly When crossing the street, use the pedestrian lane or overpass when available. If none, cross from corner to corner of the sidewalk Avoid walking on the street when there are sidewalks available Men should always be on the danger side when walking or crossing the street with women Board and alight vehicles properly. Women should board first, but men should alight first Be considerate of others in PUJs, PUBs, LRT & MRT, even if others are inconsiderate. Learn to say Thank you loudly when people show kindness Men dont have to give up seat for women. But if the seat becomes available, offer it first to women When boarding buses, trains and elevators, let outgoing people alight first. Never push. When driving, respect pedestrians, traffic enforcers and stop lights Avoid blowing horns unless absolutely necessary

Personal Effectiveness Foundation PERSEF 1

ETIQUETTE IN RESTAURANTS

Module 4 - 5 "Animo La Salle"

When entering a restaurants, men should precede women and hold the door for them Men should pull the seat for women before taking their own Hosts should ensure that their guests are seated first and with the best view When ordering food, women may order directly from the waiter Men should let the women order first, or may give the womens orders on their behalf first Women on a date should refrain from ordering expensive items especially if the man is not well-off! To call a waiter, catch his eye and then raise your hand, or call waiter quietly Clapping, whistling, shouting, or saying psst! is rude When eating, take conservatively-sized bites, chew with your mouth closed, and avoid talking when your mouth is full Never use fork to cut meat. Ask for a steak knife or butter knife where necessary Never use the bread to mop plate, nor dunk it in hot coffee or cocoa Spoon soup away from you, you may tilt your bowl away from you Ash trays or flower vases are not meant to be souvenirs Pick your teeth using the toothpick while ensuring your mouth is covered using the other hand Never wipe anything on the underside of the table, lest be boogered yourself

ETIQUETTE IN CHURCH Always wear conservative clothing; You are in church to worship NOT to be worshipped Do not unduly attract attention to yourself when entering. You can do this inconspicuously Acknowledge greetings with a slight bow of your head or a smile If you have something to say, whisper in a very soft voice Do not laugh out loud or giggle to death Participate actively but do not attract attention to yourself

ETIQUETTE IN THEATRES Men should take aisle seats when with women When arriving late, take seats at the back to avoid distracting people Turn off your mobile phones or switch them to silent mode Talking, coughing, rattling candy wrappers and crackling of nuts are annoying, irritating and disturbing to everyone Exit the place one at a time; it is rude to push people towards the exit Learn to say pardon me quietly when sneezing or coughing

Personal Effectiveness Foundation PERSEF 1

Module 4 - 5 "Animo La Salle"

Hand- out M 5a

MORE ETIQUETTE: INTERNATIONAL GESTURES

Gestures have varied meanings the world over. Be careful and use them sparingly. NOT ACCEPTABLE GESTURES: Do not speak to people with your hands in your pocket. Do not point Do not touch the other individual as you speak, it may be misinterpreted. Avoid excessive hand gestures. Do not touch your nose; this denotes nervousness. Do not wring your hands. Men must never be seated if a lady is standing. Do not kiss unless the person has indicated that this is acceptable. Do not cross your legs especially in the company of ladies, Thais and Middle Easterners. This is considered rude. The soles of your shoes must not point to the other individual. The Thumbs up, Victory sign and Hang loose have different meanings in some countries. Be careful when you use them. Among Italians the commercial is on sign is offensive. It means canuto the devils horns; his wife is cheating on him. Be careful. Do not stand Akimbo with your arms on your hips and your feet apart. In Asia this is considered an aggressive stance. Ladies, do not readily extend your hands, particularly in Muslim countries. A deeply religious Muslim will have to cleanse before praying if a woman touches him. Do not wink, even as friendly gesture; it may be offensive.

ACCEPTABLE GESTURES: In Asia the bow is the safest gesture in acknowledging a greeting. In the Western world a handshake is expected. Study the greeting that is practiced in the country of the person you are with. In Thailand it is a prayer like gesture. In Japan a bow, in Indonesia they bow slightly with the palms together, and say namaste if they are Hindu, and selamat if they are Muslim. Ask permission before lighting a cigarette. In almost every situation a light handshake is most acceptable, refrain from the beso beso. When asking for the bill, jus indicate with your hands that you are ready to pay. Keep a space of about 2 feet between you and the person you are speaking to. It is more comfortable and non-intrusive. The good-bye wave is universal. When speaking to another person have direct contact, but not too intensely. Always maintain good posture and sit properly.