IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS? As a result of an overwhelming lack of re uests!

an" with research hel# from that renown scientific $ournal S%& maga'ine ()anuar*!+,,-. / I am #lease" to #resent the annual scientific in uir* into Santa Claus0 +. No known s#ecies of rein"eer can fl*0 of living organisms *et to 3e classifie"! most of these are insects an" germs! this fl*ing rein"eer which onl* Santa has ever 1UT there are 2--!--- s#ecies an" while "oes not C45%LETEL& rule out seen0

6. There are 6 3illion chil"ren (#ersons un"er +7. in the worl"0 1UT since Santa "oesn8t (a##ear. to han"le the 5uslim! Hin"u! )ewish an" 1u""hist chil"ren! that re"uces the workloa" to to +9: of the total / 2;7 million accor"ing to %o#ulation Reference 1ureau0 At an average (census. rate of 209 chil"ren #er househol"! that8s ,+07 million homes0 4ne #resumes there8s at least one goo" chil" in each0 2. Santa has 2+ hours of Christmas to work with! thanks to the "ifferent time 'ones an" the rotation of the earth! assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical.0 This works out to 7660< visits #er secon"0 This is to sa* that for each Christian househol" with goo" chil"ren! Santa has +=+---th of a secon" to #ark! ho# out of the sleigh! $um# "own the chimne*! fill the stockings! "istri3ute the remaining #resents un"er the tree! eat whatever snacks have 3een left! get 3ack u# the chimne*! get 3ack into the sleigh an" move on to the ne>t house0 Assuming that each of these ,+07 million sto#s are evenl* "istri3ute" aroun" the earth (which! of course! we know to 3e false 3ut for the #ur#oses of our calculations we will acce#t.! we are now talking a3out 0;7 miles #er househol"! a total tri# of ;9/+=6 million miles! not counting sto#s to "o what most of us must "o at least once ever* 2+ hours! #lus fee"ing n" etc0 This means that Santa8s sleigh is moving at <9- miles #er secon"! 2!--times the s#ee" of soun"0 ?or #ur#oses of com#arison! the fastest man/ ma"e vehicle on earth! the Ul*sses s#ace #ro3e! moves at a #ok* 6;0@ miles #er secon" / a conventional rein"eer can run! to#s! +9 miles #er hour0 @. The #a*loa" on the sleigh a""s another interesting element0 Assuming that each chil" gets nothing more than a me"ium/si'e" lego set (6 #oun"s.! the sleigh is carr*ing 26+!2-- tons! not counting Santa! who is invaria3l* "escri3e" as overweight0 4n lan"! conventional rein"eer can #ull no more than 2-- #oun"s0 Even granting that Afl*ing rein"eerA (see #oint B+. coul" #ull TEN TI5ES the normal amount! we cannot "o the $o3 with eight! or even nine0 Ce nee" 6+@!6-- rein"eer0 This increases the #a*loa" / not even counting the weight of the sleigh / to 292!@2- tons0 Again! for com#arison / this is four times the weight of the Dueen Eli'a3eth0

9. 292!--- tons traveling at <9- miles #er secon" creates enormous air resistance / this will heat the rein"eer u# in the same fashion as a s#acecraft re/entering the earth8s atmos#here0 The lea" #air of rein"eer will a3sor3 +@02 DUINTILLI4N $oules of energ*0 %er secon"0 Each0 In short! the* will 3urst into flame almost instantaneousl*! e>#osing the rein"eer 3ehin" them! an" create "eafening sonic 3ooms in their wake0 The entire rein"eer team will 3e va#ori'e" within @06< thousan"ths of a secon"0 Santa! meanwhile! will 3e su3$ecte" to centrifugal forces +;!9--0-< times greater than gravit*0 A 69-/#oun" Santa (which seems lu"icrousl* slim. woul" 3e #inne" to the 3ack of his sleigh 3* @!2+9!-+9 #oun"s of force0 In conclusion / If Santa ever EIE "eliver #resents on Christmas Eve! he8s "ea" now0 Su3mitte" 1*F Lewis Harmon GlharmonH#en0k+60va0usI