External Vs Intrinsic Value Recently while sitting and having a drink in my room in the company of a beautiful young lady,

I had an epiphany. We were sitting and discussing the recent events in our lives and she went on to tell me everything that wasnt going right in her life. This girl had MAJOR baggage and as beautiful as she was, I felt the deep sorrow in her just by looking in her eyes. This may seem like nothing extraordinary at first glance, but it hit me hard as a fat kid looking in the mirror for the first time. You see, for the longest time I had crushed over this girl. I wanted her, badly. For some strange reason she seemed to have been cut from a different cloth. Where other girls rolled over for me, she would bite back with witty remarks. Where other girls fell hard she challenged me. This girl had game and so, like any other common chump, I bent over backwards and actually allowed myself to feel intimidated by her. We went out on a grand total of three dates and I never heard from her again after that. Why you should never let anyone make you feel intimidated, ever. Fast forward about a year later and I bump into her on my way home from work. We chat a bit and decide to grab a coffee. She starts to tell me about everything that has been going on with her over the past year and while listening, I start to see things much, much clearer than before. I had been reading a lot about the Self lately and things vaguely began to fall into place, but never so clearly as that evening I spent with her. Everything I had been working on, all the bits and pieces that had previously eluded me began to swirl all around me and then promptly fell into place to form a clear picture in my mind. We constantly hear people telling us to be higher value, demonstrate value, or bring value, but no one is able to clearly define just what said value is. There are two components to value External value is what we see everyday. External value is money, cars, looks, clothes, or whatever else we deem valuable today. External value is an illusion. A stunning beauty in a club has the highest value, but put her in a room full of Victorias Secret models and the value will shift immediately. I finally understood... what Brad Pitt in Fight Club meant when he said You are not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. None of this value is real. Those who set these external assets up as the support to who they are as a person are doomed to suffering. Robbed of an identity, they sway aimlessly, forever letting others set the standards for the life they are living. YOU ARE NOT THE CONTENTS OF YOUR WALLET. Then there is Intrinsic, internal Value

The Self cannot be pierced by weapons or burned by fire; water cannot wet it, nor can wind dry it. It is everlasting and infinite, standing on the motionless foundations of eternity. The Self is unmanifested, beyond all thought, beyond all change. - Bhagavad Gita (2:23) Intrinsic value is the purest you, unhindered by external factors, complete and solid. It is the foundation on which your being evolves. Think of it like this; We are born pure so to speak. Simply look at children to understand what I mean here: Children have a genuine thirst for life, and no ego to hinder them. They go after what they want, simply because they want it. They dont stop to ask themselves banal questions like do I deserve this? or am I worthy?, they simply reach for what they want. Along the course of our lives, rules and norms are imposed on us, which in turn set up barriers in front of our intrinsic self. In other words, the greatness in us doesnt diminish, it merely clouds. If you took a walk into a tunnel and just kept going deeper and deeper until it is all dark, is the light nonexistent? It is still there, but you went too far away. The ego plays tricks on us It builds barrier after barrier in front of our Intrinsic self to gently push us to rely on the external value it fabricated for us. These people think Im cool so I must be cool bro. WRONG BRO. You are cool, regardless of what these people define you as, you are whatever you decide to be. All it takes is to be mindful of this process and decide not to be a part of it, to make the conscious first step from the wobbly throne of the ego onto the cement foundations that is you. The REAL you. YOU DO NOT NEED GURUS Everything you need to know about life, who you are, and game, you are BORN WITH. It is in your biological makeup. Youre job now is to break down the barriers that are stopping you. Break down what stands between you and true knowledge. I discovered this after turning off my phone, facebook, and staying away from seduction material for a month. I got rid of every external distraction and looked within for answers. So I looked in her sad, lonely eyes... And realized that she is no different than I am. That no matter how many men chased after her, no matter how physically attractive she might be, no matter how intimidating she might seem... She is just a girl. She cries, she laughs, she eats and she sleeps, same as I do. We are the same. I am good enough, I deserve her, and I refuse to be intimidated. WE ARE ALL THE SAME My value is not higher than yours. Your value is not higher than mine. My car could be faster than yours, just as your biceps might be bigger than mine. All of this means nothing. All that matters is letting the real you shine through at ALL times. Bury your ego, rid yourself of external hindrances and artificial value and let your true Self manifest. So how can I put all this spiritual mumbo jumbo into practical use? I remember a good friend of mine I used to hang out with who worked in Dubai for about a year. He called me up once he returned and we decided to grab a drink and discussed every way in which he had

grown over the past year. We spoke about our experiences, professional or otherwise, and started talking about this very subject. It was interesting to take a look at my roots (we used to think very much alike) and realize just how wrong I had been. We talked about various situations in which he promptly pointed out that I was losing value in each situation. I shook my head. None of these women thought any less of me. I thought about all the stupid things I had been saying to girls lately (those who have gone out with me can attest to that - I should be blown out MUCH more often than I do), and how most of the time they go along with it. I thought about all the times I did things that may seem chumpish to most and yet - magically - my girls have stayed with me. Who am I losing value to? No one can take away who I am, so why pretend that its even a remote possibility? Disconnect your ego from the equation You see a beautiful girl and you want her. The ONLY thing that should be going through your head is she is going to be mine. As of today, DELETE the following thoughts from your programming; I am not good enough, Shes out of my league, I would have to be rich/famous. Dont think. Thinking is the barrier that hinders your intrinsic value from expressing itself. Desire and love are the ONLY way to free your inner self. Desire= Upon seeing a woman, you ask yourself Do I want her? Yes or no. If the answer is yes, by the time you have thought of the answer, your feet have already moved in her direction. You are a man of desire, a man who is guided by his passions. Love= without love, you cannot have passion. Do you genuinely love women? Do you genuinely love the life you live? Most importantly, do you genuinely LOVE yourself? Do you feel you are worthy? You are every girls wet dream, and your hesitation is depriving her of a real man. YOU CANNOT LOSE A GAME YOU REFUSE TO PLAY This begs the question: What is rejection? If your ego is disconnected from the process, and your true self shines through, where does rejection fit in? The answer my dear friends is simple: It doesn t. Rejection does NOT exist. When you have completed yourself, when you have peeled back your ego and approach out of desire and love, you no longer need her reactions to validate you. You are a man who is attracted to women and appreciates women, and you are letting her know of this, regardless of whether she chooses to accept it or not. Everyone has the right to invite, just as everyone has the right to refuse. Does this mean no women will ever turn her back on you again? Absolutely not. But rejection will not hurt. It is an illusion, the pain associated to it is just your egos response, not your true self. You cannot take away something from someone who needs nothing, and you sure as hell cant lose a game you aren't playing. In conclusion Act. Act on your desire. You see something you want, GO for it. Climb that mountain, conquer that challenge, and GET that girl. It is what you were designed to do. Refuse the standards others have set for you, free your mind from the torments of the ego, and always let your true self shine through.

But those who realize the Self are always satisfied. Having found the source of joy and fulfillment, they no longer seek happiness from the external world. Competing with no one, they have nothing to gain or lose by any action; neither people nor things can affect their security. -Bhagavad Gita (3:15) Identity and Dharma We spoke earlier about love, and I asked the question: "Do you truly love women?" This may seem like an odd enough question, considering that this post is dedicated to a community whose sole purpose is to enhance our understanding of women... And yet, I have met very few men out there who genuinely love women. Think about it for one second I asked myself this question recently as I took a client out on workshop. We had been walking around downtown and after a couple (horribly botched, sorry-excuses of) approaches (*I am notoriously tough on my clients), I sat him down to go through just what he was doing wrong. As we discussed this, I spotted a cute little brunette walk by from the corner of my eye. I then turned my gaze to my client and watched as his eyes hungrily followed her movements. I smiled and innocently asked him "she's hot eh?". He looked at me and answered "Oh hell yes!" and gave me one of those looks like I was supposed to high five him for finding a woman attractive. Instead, I raised an eyebrow and asked "What are you waiting for?". He looked quite surprised that our moment of camaraderie had evaporated and was now replaced by a challenge. "What, right now?" Nah man. Tomorrow. YES. Right now. Because the universe responds to one thing: Action. Some call it God, my holy guardian angel, mother nature, or the universe, but it is there, it is real, and it is benevolent. What you ask for, it gives you, but it sure as hell is not stupid. It gives you a shot JUST ONE and you either take it or you don't. Let me put it another way: If you have time to think about it, you have already lost. As simple as that. When you see a women - and I mean REALLY SEE HER. She stands out of the crowd. She is walking there, with her fancy clothes, her hair well combed, her eyes shining and beautiful, and you feel this jolt of energy in the pit of your stomach, but then something terrible happens; Your brain steps in and all of a sudden you are confronted with a thousand reasons not to approach her. "What should I say?" ... is probably the question I get asked the most. My answer is always the same "how you feel". Unfortunately, this client responded with "I'm gonna use the 'who would win in a fight, batman or superman?' opener!"

As I worked to restrain myself from facepalming, I calmly explained to him that he sure as hell did not care about who would win in a fight, and I doubt she did either. "You want her, you find her attractive, go over there, grab your balls in one hand, and use the other hand to shake hers, and tell her how adorable she looks". To which he responded with the following statement that also happens to be responsible for this post.. "But... isnt it embarassing?" And that's when it all made sense. You see there is much speculation as to why the community has an over-95% dropout rate. Why do most not get good with women? Why do some give up and pack up their shit? Lets talk about Dharma "Considering your Dharma, you should not vacillate. For a warrior, nothing is higher than a war against evil". - Bhagavad Gita (2:31) This verse spoke to me. For those of you who have read the Gita, you will understand that almost every single line in it has multiple meanings and can be directly applied to every day life. Upon taking a closer look here, it's important to understand the meaning of Dharma. Dharma is the basically natural law. According to Wikipedia "As well as referring to Law in the universal or abstract sense dharma designates those behaviours considered necessary for the maintenance of the natural order of things". It reminds me of the story of the frog and the scorpion (look it up). Basically: The fighter fights, the dreamer dreams, and the lover loves. The lover loves I know what you are wondering, and the answer is yes, he did end up approaching the girl, he did tell her she was cute, and he never again asked me a stupid question like that. The problem with most people in this community is they dont genuinely LOVE women. They didnt stop to think about what they want out of all this, and so they swarm the pickup boards with stupid ideas like "I just want a girlfriend" and "I want to get all kinds of new phone numbers from girls" without taking time to sit down and go "okay well what KIND of girl to I want in my life?". Women are NOT a number ... They are people. Most of the guys that flood the forum and then quit only see women as a tool to fill the void they have deep inside them when they first came here. Like a drug addict reaching desperately for his next fix. Go out each day looking for that one girl that is truly memorable. Morph your identity to become a lover of women. It is in you. Biologically, it is what you were put on this earth to do, you just somehow

got lost while watching Game of Thrones. There is a greater world out there So how to apply this practically? Simply: Turn off your mind, and act on your emotions. This seems like rather conflicting advice since we men tend to be more logical than emotional. Think of it this way: We spoke earlier about that jolt of energy you feel in your stomach when you see that hot girl. What I want you to do now is to - BEFORE your brain even has the time to process the reasons you should not approach - You have already begun walking in her direction. You love her. You already do. You dont know her, but you love her - because to hate is to be owned. Why let someone own you like that? You love her because it is what you were BORN to do. Her smell, her hair, her tenderness, how cute she looks when she sleeps... do I need to list everything? Let that passion overtake you. Dont go through some logical process - it isnt logical to begin with. Let your love be the driving force behind your action. Make it your Dharma to be a lover of women. She will feel it, trust me. To quote coach Curiel: "Heart. Mind. Balls. If you have two, you can play, but you will never be great. To be great, you need all three." "But I have REALLY bad AA" No you dont. You just dont allow yourself to love fully. Love is free of ego, free of fear, free of worry. Love is a beautiful, pure energy. USE IT. Dont ever let your logic overpower your drive for success... Let your love for women shine through in your day to day. You'll be surprised at how much it enriches your life. Honesty Let's talk about honesty, a subject i find is ignored by just about 99.9% of the community. Why? because there is this vague, underlying assumption that seduction and honesty are mutually exclusive. That telling the truth is the equivalent of surrendering, or worse, that it will land you in the dreaded friendzone. When was the last time you heard a so-called Guru proclaim loudly and clearly; "Alright boys, tonight you are going to go out, and you are going to be completely honest to women. You are going to tell them exactly what you want from them, and exactly what is going through your heads. Good luck" But that can't be proper game. Seduction is about tactics and lies. Honesty is the antithesis of game... right? WRONG

Seduction is the most honest thing on the planet. Seduction is that beautiful moment when two people are connected straight down to the soul. In that instant, nothing else exists and nothing else matters. It is honest, it is pure. There is no selfishness, nor is there any deceit, just honesty in it's purest form. What about game? Isn't flirting the same as lying? No. This is the topic for another post but quite simply put: There is no such thing as game. The moment you open your eyes, you ARE game. End of story. I am honestly disappointed to see the lies being spread like wildfire in this community when this should be something SO simple. How do I apply honesty in my game? The moment you see a girl you are attracted to, there is instant chemistry, and you receive a jolt of energy all through your body. Within a few seconds however, that energy is shadowed by the stream of thoughts that flood your mind. Thoughts like "What if she doesnt want me?" and "What should I open with?" are equally destructive. Don't fool yourself. You're inner game is not solid simply because you revert to tactics as a protection mechanism. They are all just a manifestation of you're ego blocking your progress. I had set up a date with a girl I met a couple weeks back. The day before the scheduled date, I received a text from her: her: "Heyyyy. Is it okay if I bring a friend?" Me: "Hell no." I was actually giggling at this because I got a flash back to Mack of summer 2011, and how a girl I kinda liked pulled this crap on me, and I said okay. All of a sudden there were two girls in my car talking and ignoring me. We hung out with other friends and they forgot about me. I tried to close at the end, got a weak peck on the lips and never saw her again. I had over a year of field experience at that point... I really wish I had been taught honesty. her: "She looks like my twin tho!" me: "Fun, but I wanna spend time with you, not her. This time I choose, next time you choose and can bring as many friends as you like". her: "haha okay deal " me: "Good girl, see you tomorrow" What more did I need to say? I couldve pretended that I didnt mind, use some kind of retarded tactic, thrown in some Dual Induction Massage I learnt off that post from that guy who never actually tried it himself... What do you want? You need to ask yourself what do you WANT? Weak men beat around the bush. They accept mediocrity and they settle for what they don't actually want, and then they rationalize "Well at least I got this far". Sure. Great, cool man!

It pains me to see that people are STILL lying to women about their expectations, STILL hurting themselves and hurting others, just because they fear their own honesty. Fate loves the fearless Decide what you want and then run towards it at blinding speed. Nothing gets in your way. You want to be successful? GO AND DO IT. You want to be great with women? GO OUT AND SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THEM. You want a girlfriend? Go find the one that stands out from the crowd. Dont lie to her, tell her she is the cutest thing ever, tell her you want her to be your girlfriend. Yours and no one else's. Celebrate her and make her feel unique. You dont want a girlfriend? You want to just fool around with her? Look her deep in the eye and tell her you want her, you want to do dirty, horrible things to her. You might not be there in the morning, but if she's willing to take the risk, she should take your hand and go on the greatest adventure of her life. Everyone has the right to invite, everyone has the right to refuse I remember when I had some intricate text game method. It was even put up on Cliffs list a few years back. Some clients who came across it still ask me about it and I kind of just shrug because, frankly, I dont use it anymore. My text game looks like this: The Opener, the qualifier, the close and whatever else you want to throw in, are all found in a single text. "Hey troublemaker. Life is short, you're cute and you turn me on. Lets go on an adventure". Who cares what comes afterwards? A real man never lies about his intentions. Liars beware, there are a few real men left out there, and you don't stand a chance.

Move forward in life I found the community much the same way you did. A girl broke my heart, I decided enough was enough, and I wanted to change. I learned a couple lines, vomited them in a club, met a few girls, life was good... why wouldnt it be? And then something wonderful happened These girls failed to stick around. I found the seduction community to end heartache and found more of it in a shorter amount of time than ever before. I read articles, books, I learned, I practiced, I tried, I spat line after line, used tactic after tactic, and my results went up and down. But at a core level - I stayed the same. By then I was already running social arts workshops and pickup workshops under the banners of two local companies and had a fair amount of field experience. I made girls giggle, I made them touch me, I made them tell their friends about me - but they never called back. So what gives?

It only hit me a year ago exactly. I was doing badly in school, I had no passion, my health was in shambles and my social circle was a ruined mess of unmotivated negative people. I tried aimlessly to go back to my previous level of success. It didnt seem complicated. What I did before worked, what I do now doesnt. Right? Wrong. Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment Siddharta Gautama The truth is, you were not as good as you thought you were, and the girls you are talking to now are not the same you were talking to back then. Understand that the there is no such thing as a constant in the world we live in. The world evolves, so do people, based on situations and perceptions. The fact that what you were doing before no longer works is a clear indication that you are GROWING. Guess what! Youre old attitude will not come back, and you will not keep it for good. You will continue to evolve along the path you set for yourself, as well as grow in the direction you choose to go in. I laugh at myself every time I catch myself thinking about the past in a glorified way . Damn man, what was I doing right back then that Im not doing now? I would ask myself. But it isnt difficult to see through the BS and realise that the past wasnt the past I thought it was, and that the game looks like a curve rather than a linear process. I feel like a douche for quoting Neil Strauss but he said it very well: In some respects, surfing reminded me of sarging. Some days you go out and catch every wave and think you're a champ; other days you don't get one good wave and you think you suck. But no matter what, every day you go out and you learn and you improve. And that's what keeps you coming back. Looking back, every wave is like a new level in a video game. Just as each time you level up, you have to learn new combos - every cycle you go through, you have to learn new ways to adapt your game to fit your situation. Just as each time you level up, the bosses you have to beat get tougher - every cycle you go through brings you to a higher quality of girls in your life, and keeping them around is a real challenge. Why your lines are not working Vin Dicarlo once said that an insecure man with lines and routines is still an insecure man. Stop trying to think about lines, stop trying to recreate a false identity. GO AND READ MY ABOVE POSTS and start integrating the mindsets I preach into your day to day life. Free yourself. Right now you are trapped in a box YOU created. You said it yourself; I am desperate right now so i will do anything it takes. i just want to have my old attitude back and keep it for good. Why? That wasnt the real you. You just read a couple books or posts and then regurgitated what you read. You got a couple giggles awesome, and your ego was stroked, but in the end you accomplished nothing and so here you are, broken. Practical application time?

The more I live life, the more I realise that less is in fact more. This is the topic for an upcoming post, so I wont get too much into it, but basically, you dont need as much as you think you do to attract a girl. Stop chasing after some nonexistent standard you think you once lived up to. A man does not go backward in life, only forward. Let go of your expectations, take time to find yourself and what kind of person you want to be, and then apply it in your day to day. Am I telling you not to be a cocky guy? Not at all, be as cocky as you want, but the cocky Alphas you see in real life? I promise you they never read Double Your Dating. It works for them because their cockiness stems from TRUE confidence. It isnt artificial. It isnt a mask. This probably isnt the answer you were looking for, and you probably will discard it, just as I have discarded great advice many times along my journey, but I hope you will find your path and open your eyes. Pure Masculinity Gather 'round the fire boys, its time to listen. I find it interesting to see the trends in modern pickup and how they almost all lack what should be THE most important factor in the industry... Masculinity. I personally hate to introduce any community guys to my natural friends but in the rare occasions that we do bump into each other, just a simple glance from natural to synthetic is enough to see who REALLY has his shit together... you guessed it, the natural. So why is that? Most modern pickup schools teach all varieties of methods, ideas, tactics and concepts to get the girl, but merely gloss over masculinity. In fact I've even seen some instructors that DONT EVEN BRING IT UP. None of these people stopped to think for a second about how wrong they actually are. How can you make her feel like a woman, if you can't bring yourself to feel like a man? That thing ALL naturals have in common? They are ALL fiercely masculine. I once had a client ask me an interesting question. After our workshop, I was on my way home, and he sent me a text asking; "I'm thinking about what you've been telling me. I've always been mister social, I've never been dominant. Can I stay that way?" My answer; "No." So what exactly is masculinity? Most people have this impression that masculinity is aggression, that it is the opposite of warmth, that it requires big muscles and an overflow of testosterone. None of these assumptions are correct. Masculinity isnt so much a question of learning new traits, but more of discarding the wrong ones. Like I had earlier spoken about the Ego, and peeling back the barriers in the way of the Self will lead you to self-discovery, in very much the same way, peeling back feminine and artificial traits will bring you

closer to who you truly are - a man. You were BORN a man. Stop looking elsewhere for an answer you already have! You have just been programmed at a young age to be a certain way. I remember a family dinner we once had (I have a big family) and my older brother got into a political discussion with some relatives. At the end of the conversation, my very conservative grandmother took my brother aside and chided him for, and I quote here, "monopolizing the conversation". I love my grandmother to death, but my brother is masculine to his very core. We were never very close, and his moving away to another continent certainly did not help things, but I always respected him. The things I worked hard to learn, he already had. Simply turn on your TV. Put in an episode of Friends and watch. Do you think Ross or Chandler could ever get a girl in real life? Their chances of reproducing are VERY slim. I see it all the time... men walking into my work being lead by their wives. The wife picks out all kinds og things for him to try on while he sits down meekly and complies. How happy is their relationship? How long will it last? And if it has, how often has the wife looked on other men and wondered what if? (unless she has already indulged that wish). So what do I do?

Be a man. It starts the moment you decide to become one. How do you do that? Simple, listen to your gut. It's the only thing that won't lie to you, that can't be programmed, that can't be humbled or silenced. It was there when you were born and will be there when you will die. Be decisive. "She looks cute. hmmm shoud I? Should I not? Is she even that hot?" or "What do you feel like doing tonight babe? I don't really know what I want to do, so you decide babe!" man the fk up. Indecision is a woman's job. It's in her nature to not know what she wants, because the only thing she's sure of is the fact that she wants a man to come and make things easy for her. She wants a man to come into her life and decide. "I want you, you're mine". Be valuable. I don't mean write down DHV stories, I mean have strict rules for the way you want to be treated. A man doesn't put up with childish behavior. "I feel disrespected, because I keep calling and she keeps screening my calls, but I think Im going to freeze her out and then try to call her again in a week". No. You betrayed yourself and you want to keep at it? Move on with your life. Be solid. Most men go through life wobbling around from one woman to the next. They whine on the forums Why did she shit test me THAT bad?!. She is shit testing you because she is looking for YOU. She doesnt want the fake you, she wants the real you. The man. Her shit tests are her way of being sure that you are what you seem to be, why would you blame her for looking for a real man? You failed a shit test? Boo hoo. Suck it up and work harder on yourself. If you cant handle her shit, how in the hell are you supposed to protect her the rest of the worlds shit? Be non-judgmental. Seriously guys, this double standard needs to GO. I find it hilarious when I see guys bragging about all the girls theyve been with RIGHT in front of the girl theyre trying to game, and then look shocked when shes tried something a little bit more out there. Its a serious lack of maturity to blame a woman for expressing her sexuality, and guess what; The fantasies she feels

ashamed to do with you only opens the door for men like me to fulfill. Be protective - but not jealous. This distinction took me a little while to understand. Men have a misconception that a woman is his PROPERTY. This is fundamentally wrong. Women are your RESPONSIBILITY, not your property. When she goes out with her friends, you feel that urge to say no, or something meek like let me know if you need help. All of those are an expression of INSECURITY and she can sense that. Her instincts kick in and she notices that lack of confidence. But why? Logically speaking, what is the only way you can stop her from cheating? Simple: Lock her in a cage in your basement. If youre unwilling to do that (and I bloody well hope you are or we have other issues to discuss), then LET GO. If she does something stupid, the only loser is her, because she deprived herself of a quality man. Dont even bother getting angry and lecturing her, just walk away. See ru le number 3. I can go on forever with these rules but essentially, being a man boils down to three core components: Never let your emotions outweigh your logic. Act within your intentions. Make no excuses for your desires. Allow me to give two very real examples. I was sitting down with Cliff (from Cliffs list) and we were talking about a friend of ours. A natural. We were saying how hes the only one we know who can call a girl over on any given night and the girls would come. This guy gets laid every single night with GORGEOUS women, and we couldnt for the life of us understand how he does it. He isnt a phenomenally good looking guy. Hes rather plain, slightly overweight, and yet this guy pulls quality girls EVERY NIGHT. Hes not aggressive, but he is dominant. He makes his own rules and yet hes VERY friendly, one of the most laid-back guys I know. But when a girl it as his place, she is his. As simple as that. Lets take a look at the other end of the spectrum. A guy Ive known for years. I travel ed to Scotland with him recently and we got to know each other much better. Hes tall, in shape, good looking, and is a successful doctor. One thing is, he is quiet. Hes not mister social, hes mister mysterious. This guy has pulled ass like you wouldnt believe. From massive orgies to playmates of the year. One thing that really took me by surprise was that he was talking to his girlfriend at the time (a stunning olive-skinned brunette), and she had broken the agreement they had, and he immediately said goodbye, hung up the phone and told me it was over, and then went about his business. This was a girl he was considering for marriage. She broke an agreement and therefore lost his trust. He didnt think twice, he didnt whine about it or let his emotions take over, he did what a man does: He made a decision and moved on. Two different character types, the same habits. Dont settle for being boys, its time to be a man! The Path of Action While meditating I had a realization and just ran to my computer to put this on paper. "They have already been slain Arjuna, you will only be my instrument". - Krishna to prince Arjuna on the eve of battle, Bhagavad Gita This took me at least 8 readings of the Gita to finally understand and internalize. I glossed over that

seemingly unimportant passage and moved on, never realizing just how important it actually is. The universe provides One of the founding principles of CMP is to internalize the knowledge that we are only in control of one thing - ourselves. Everything else is outside our control and thus not our business. What does that mean in practical terms? You see the girl you want, you go and talk to her. However she reacts to you is HER business and none of yours. Once you relinquish that responsibility, you earn a degree of freedom to act the way you truly want to, simply because you have no control over the outcome. So why has this particular quotation stood out to me lately? Because it perfectly exemplifies the above mentioned principle. In this case, prince Arjuna is reluctant to go into battle, even though he has a kingdom to gain and not much to lose. In his discussions with God, God explains to him that the decision has already been made - he is merely the instrument. In English please? She has already decided weather or not she will sleep with you. Let me repeat that SHE HAS ALREADY DECIDED WEATHER OR NOT SHE WILL SLEEP WITH YOU. How do you feel? Your answer should be "Free" because thats what I just gave you. Freedom. She already knows that she likes you, all that's missing is for you to take action. It's the natural course of things. "Seek refuge in the attitude of detachment and you will amass the wealth of spiritual awareness. Those who are motivated only by desire for the fruits of action are miserable, for they are constantly anxious about the results of what they do. Whenever consciousness is unified, however, all vain anxiety is left behind." -Bhagavad Gita As of today I want you to start doing things differently. In sales, we are taught to love the word no, because it is both a challenge and on step closer to yes. We are going to take this a little deeper. From now on, when you approach a beautiful woman, you do it as a man who's natural duty it is to appreciate women. There is no such thing as a blow out or a rejection, because you never offered yourself in the first place. You are merely looking for that girl that will love you. She's already out there, now it's just a question of where? Go out! Talk to everyone! Do it like a child that is curious. Get to know people. I see SO many posts of people who have utterly lost hope, who are beaten down by brutal "rejection" and its SO sad because they forgot what this is - A GAME. Go and have fun! Take ACTION, things will turn out as they should. Trust me "They live in freedom who have gone beyond the dualities of life. Competing with no one one, they are alike in success and failure and content with whatever comes to them. They are free, without selfish attachments; their minds are fixed in knowledge. They perform all work in the spirit of service and their karma is dissolved". -Bhagavad Gita

I was walking downtown last night with my wing, Zan and Cliff (from Cliffslist). It was fashion week and so we were enjoying the scenery and talking about Zan's travels (btw, what an interesting fellow, check out his stuff if you already havnt). While walking, my wing points out a blonde walking away from us and he says "she is just your type". He knows me too well. I walk up to her and start talking to her, she was adorable. What a sweetheart honestly. She asked me to walk her back to her car and we got to know each other a little bit along the way. I told her I was leaving for Armenia soon and she should call me before she leaves, she asked me for my number and promised she'd call. Will she call? Who cares. She's an adorable girl and is always welcome in my life. She has my number, it's out of my control. If she wants to see me, she'll call - simple as that. Things will turn out as it should. Men: Learn to let go, it is the most beautiful freedom imaginable. Take action because as a man it is your duty to appreciate women, and to invite them along in the adventure that is your life. Don't be possessive or jealous, don't get angry or hurt when she flakes. I was having a conversation with a natural friend of mine last night at 3 am. He is probably the biggest promoter in the city and has a different beautiful girl, every night. He told me something that really resonated with me; "We often forget one thing man. In the end, SHE chooses, not us". "They have already been slain, you will only be my instrument" Whatever action you want to take in life already has an outcome you are not in control of. The universe tends to work itself out the way it should, you are only an instrument. Take action, it is your duty as a man. Desires versus Need this is a topic I've wanted to write about for a while as it encompasses one of the founding principles of the Centered Man Project. "For those who realize the Self are always satisfied. Having found the source of joy and fulfillment, they no longer seek happiness from the external world. They have nothing to gain or lose by any action; neither people nor things can affect their security." -Bhagavad Gita I had reached an all time low in my life. I was failing college, I had lost the vast majority of my friends, girls were not answering my calls, and I was overweight. I had finally reached a point in my life where I decided, enough. After discovering the Bhagavad Gita and many other texts, meeting the right people and putting the right work in, I developed an entirely new way of seeing the world and social interactions. The Centered Man Project is the result of this awakening. One of the most powerful conclusions I came to was that Need and Desire are two entirely different things. One is bad, the other is good. Need

What is need? We have been conditioned to think there are certain things that we absolutely need. You ever feel lost and sad without your cell phone? Exactly. It took me a while to realize this and once I did, my life took an incredible turn. Are you ready for this? Turns out... we actually need... NOTHING. ... Well, not exactly nothing, but let's face it, besides food, water and air, there is very little we can't live without. Think about it for a second. If you cant sit down for a few minutes without checking your phone, without getting attention for someone, if you cant just ENJOY your very own presence, there is a problem. Make it a point to sit still for a couple minutes every day. Take ONE night a week where you date yourself. No girls coming over, no friends, just you and yourself spending some quality time together. You'll be surprised at the beauty of those moments. So Step 1 ...is to recognize that you are okay RIGHT NOW. That currently, as a man (or woman) on this earth, you are naturally missing nothing. You are happy. The most beautiful moment I had last summer was lying in the grass in the pouring rain with my cousin and singing 'Stand By Me'. Im not even kidding! We were just having so much fun, nothing else existed. If we had a couple girls blowing us while we were singing, I wouldn't have said no. But did I need it to be happy? Absolutely not. I was 100% in the moment. Happy, pure, blissful. What about desire? Desire is natural. Desire is pure, and is free of need. Recognize the difference between the two. You want a woman, and that is normal. Do you need her to be a happy person? Absolutely not. If you apply JUST this simple concept, I promise that your results will skyrocket. Why do you think Naturals who have no knowledge of the community do so well? Think of it this way; You ever seen a baby reaching for a cookie? I've given this example countless times before. The kid can't have the cookie, but can you get mad at him? Absolutely not. You can learn alot from children. The baby doesn't want the cookie for validation, he does not need it to show off to his friends, or be happy. The baby is already happy. The cookie came into his field of vision, he saw it, he wants it. Simple as that. All that exists for the child is himself, the cookie and the energy of desire that flows between the two. Ride that pure energy of desire Once I discovered this concept, I immediately put it to the test and the results were staggering. I found I could go up to just about anyone, in just about any situation, say just about anything, and still end up surrounded by beautiful women, and great new friends. I no longer felt the need to text or call people constantly, I no longer had to have all the attention on me, I no longer had to have women texting me all the time to feel good about myself. I was just... happy. "Better indeed is knowledge than mechanical practice. Better than knowledge is meditation. Better still is surrender of attachments to results, because there follows immediate peace." -Bhagavad Gita I remember walking down the street once and seeing this stunning blonde girl walking home. I didnt

know it at the time but she was having a terrible day. Like a child, free of need but full of desire, I walked up to her, touched her arm lightly and then - She turned around looking SUPER aggressive and screeched "WHAT?!". I looked her in the eye, smiled and said "I think you look lovely, and I just had to come up and tell you". She looked at me, relaxed, smiled and we spoke for a little bit. She was having a terrible day and as I was leaving, she turned and said "Thanks so much for making my day better". Remembering this is a game. You can learn a lot about game from music. A lot of people don't realize this. Most just listen to music and get nothing out of it besides temporary entertainment, often forgetting that music is the international language of romance. Music reminds us not to take ourselves or life too seriously, to just enjoy and flow with the moment. Listen carefully [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpyZEzrDf4c[/youtube] "I'm known for taking what I think I deserve, and you're overdue" One of my favorite song lines of all time. If you understand the mindset behind it, you no longer need to learn anything to get good with women. If you internalize that mindset and approach every new situation with that in mind, you'll notice the difference immediately. Try it. Walk around life with entitlement from now on. You CAN talk to that stunner surrounded by 4 big muscled guys. You can go straight up to her and ask "Who are you? Im curious about you?" and take her hand and pull her away. You CAN do that, because you deserve this. You CAN go up to your boss, look him in the eye and tell him you deserve a raise "and here's why...". You start to live you're life with a delusional sense of entitlement and all of a sudden the world you live in stops being so scary. All of a sudden you feel like you have a grip, because you can and you WILL achieve your potential. Have fun A big problem I see in people nowadays is that they forgot this is all a game. There are rules, but they can be bent or broken. There is a winner and a loser. There are players - although not who you think they are. You see the two players are your higher self, and your lower self. Your higher self is the man you want to be, the man you should be. Your lower self is the man you let yourself be. The fat slob on the couch, that stays at his dead end job for 20 years not wanting to move up because he fears his own success. One winner, one loser - choose one. People tend to take these things too seriously. I often notice people get caught up in their pursuits and lose sight of what this should be - FUN! [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdtdRj_TYts[/youtube] "Baby, you're playing hard to get but... oh if I get you, oh if I get you!" If a girl doesn't call me back, she's just playing hard to get. If she looks away when I'm talking to her, she's just playing hard to get. It's just that simple to me. I don't care about the how or why. I am

attractive, I am a man, and I take what I want. Everyone has the right to invite, everyone has the right to refuse. She can play whatever games she wants, but she better not find herself alone with me, because she'll be mine. I know it. That knowledge makes everything so much fun. I no longer need to work that hard to get what I want. I know it's a game, it's meant to be fun. There will be some back and forth, there will be some difficulty, but in the end, she's mine. She knows it, I know it. Don't lose sight of yourself, relax, have fun, invite her into your life and allow her to play her game. It's all a dance. But what if I see her again?? Youre hanging around downtown, or on your way to work, or just having a coffee, and you look up and notice her. Tall, slim body, cute smile, just the way you like her. You hear her voice for the first time and she sounds just adorable. Ok dude, enough of this, get off your ass and go approach! Wait, what is it? Your legs wont move? SNAP OUT OF IT, SHES BEAUTIFUL AND YOU WANT HER. okok, Im going! says the voice inside your head. You walk over and say hi, she smiles, you two start talking and you hit it off. With shaking hands, you give her your phone and with a mumbling voice ask her to put her number in. SURPRISE, she accepts! You now walk away with a brand new phone number and feel on top of the world. 3 days later, you decide to finally call her, but to your dismay, she doesnt answer. Okay, its not the end of the world, maybe something happened? Who cares. Fast Forward - this isnt a post about flakes. The above is a situation thats far too common to many people, and the recurring question is If I run into her again, how should I act? What should I do? The answer to the question is rather complex and obviously depends on the situation, but the general advice I can give is; Dont think about what you should do, think about how you should feel. The average man gets rejected tons of times. The player gets rejection hundreds if not thousands of times by women. What makes the difference between the two? The average man takes the rejection as a failure, and feels as if it is a testament to his abilities with women, while the player takes the rejection for what it is: Just a part of the game, and keeps enjoying the process. You see, the true player has a deeply ingrained sense of reality. In his mind, he is a charming person. His charm doesnt depend on the reaction of one particular women, just as the hockey player knows that the 3 shots he missed will be forgotten due to the one goal he scored. The player is in love with his love of women, not their reactions to him, and that love defines his interactions with women. In English please?! So youre at a party and there she is sitting with friends, and all of a sudden she points at you and they

all look silently. The average man will look away and try his best to get out of their field of vision he makes excuses for his desires as a man. The player, on the other hand, lights up at the thought of the challenge. He straightens his back, puts on a smile and walks smoothly across the room. Player Hey guys! How do you know this little dork? friends: bla bla bla Player Thats cool, shes adorable, I tried to pick her up a while ago, fell hopelessly in love with her. I even sang songs outside her window on many occasions and yet she rejected me. Iv been half the man I used to be ever since. Said with powerful eye contact directed at the girl, with a relaxed posture and a cocky grin, this can go a long way. So remember this Blessed be the man who is alike in both victory and defeat, for he shall never know pain Mahabarata (Hindu Epic) If you come from a place of reaction rather than action, you leave yourself at the mercy of others. Dont ever let your surroundings define who you are as a person and dont ever be ashamed of your desires as a man. It is your job to be attracted to her. Let me repeat that IT IS YOUR JOB TO BE ATTRACTED TO HER. That does NOT creep her out. What creeps her out is when you make apologies for desiring her, which means that you were NOT being genuine. Listen up gentlemen! This mindset that you create attraction in a woman is flat out WRONG. It just doesn't stand up under scrutiny. Scientific studies have proven that the attraction process is created within seconds weather you like it or not. They studied that people with platonic relationships tend to make eye contact about 40% of an entire interaction, by contrast, those with romantic interests held eye contact for a minimum of 70% of their total time together and above! So what does this mean? You want her to be interested in you romantically? Make eye contact. Eye contact doesn't significantly increase your levels of attractiveness... It is what makes you attractive to begin with. (source: Leil Lowndes; How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You) So what do I do with all these tactics? Throw them out the window and start being a genuine human being. Everything else is a waste of time. Once the eye contact is established and you two have joked around a bit, find commonalities. Scientific studies have proven that upon discovering commonalities, chemicals are released in both potential lovers' bodies which causes an effect similar to being high (falling in love anyone?). What Next? Just that. Be a man and find out what you want in a girl (those commonalities shouldn't be faked), go for it with no fear and no presumption, and build an experience together like you were meant to. Stop being surprised that you are enough. There is nothing extraordinary you need to do to get a girl.

She either likes you off the bat or doesn't. All you really have to do is not fuck it up. That means be genuine, be clean, and learn to shut the fuck up. No games, no gimmicks, no lame jokes. Allow yourself to just flow. The rest is easy Romance This might seem like a strange topic to write about. You must be wondering "What's romantic about masculinity?" A lot One of the recurring themes I'm coming across in my encounters with men is their lack of surrender to romance. Why did I choose the word surrender instead of another word? Because romance is a part of our deepest masculine core, and through external influences, we learn to curb it, dilute it, or in some cases, completely shut it out. Instead, it is our duty as men to completely let go, and in the greatest show of strength, allow our supreme masculinity to shine. It is the greatest gift we can leave to the world. Sounding eerily spiritual? It's on purpose. It sounds a bit cryptic and new-age but it should be fun - and practical! We all have an itch to be romantic at some point in our lives. Be it in our career, with our lover, or in any undertaking really. This isn't socially conditioned romance, and I am in no way encouraging you to buy a bouquet of flowers for your boss as a way of adding romance to your career. I'm talking about intentionally and comfortably adding a degree of beauty into your life that wasn't previously there. Say what? How? To quote the movie Hitch; "no woman wakes up saying, 'God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!'". So before you think you're smooth by asking her what time it is while giving her a seductive look, how about trying something a little different? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usZ6qWbBGpY Flirt and fall in love I want my interactions with women to look like that. I want to play the game, have a blast, and fall in love. Just with the moment. For a day, a week, a month, a year or forever. Don't you? Allow that deep masculine romantic edge shine through your every interaction. Flirt with everyone and everything. Be shameless. Flirting comes easily when you're comfortable with your masculine core and you live a life that is aligned with your values. You dictate the pace of your life and all those around you. What kind of mood are you going to set? Call your girlfriend right now. Tell her to get ready, you're going on an adventure, and then go dance Bachata in a park, just the two of you. Never danced Bachata in your life? Even better. Take her in your arms, spin her around and celebrate her. Allow her beauty to vibrate. Breathe it in and love it.

Recognize it for what it is: femininity is the delicate counterpart of masculinity. The balance is what allows you to complete each other. But I can never seem to connect with a woman Go spend time with women! Immerse yourself in women. Start to see them in their radiating beauty; Complex, delicate, confused, scared, angry, loving, sweet, feminine and real. You will never connect with anyone if you see them as a title your mind created. There is no us versus them, there is only us. Give Yourself Permission This is probably the most important part of indeed any of our teachings at CMP. Without permission, there can be no action. What does this mean? It means to act on impulse. To be authentic in your interactions with other people and to let things flow rather than try to logically force things into a certain direction. In other words, when you commit to taking action, it does not come from a place of need. It is not supplication to anything or anyone. Quite the opposite. If you do not feel needy, you cannot be needy. Picture it like a glass. Each drop of water is a piece of joy. Picture that glass being so filled that it is overflowing with water. If you fill your life with beauty, romance, and pure detached joy, your glass will overflow and you will want to share that gift with the world. Like I said, no significant action comes without permission. Allow yourself to act. Give yourself that permission. Free from attachment, free from need, just say yes to your desires and act on them. You will grow as a man each time. Try it! Do something you dont think you can do. Kiss someone you consider to be out of your league. You will be surprised by how it enriches your life. Be curious "Im curious about you. Tell me everything. I want to know everything!" Like a child. Be curious about any and everything. Find your inner child and throw yourself head first into that romantic curiosity. You should feel that burning desire to get to the bottom of things deep inside of you, free from past, future and self-gratification. Only the energy between you and your desire should be focused on. Michelangelo is a prime example of that. He left his romantic gift to the world and committed himself to excellence, the result of which, the Sistine Chapel, is still marveled at hundreds of years later. Go out there "It is the essence of charm to make any woman feel beautiful in his presence" - Zan Perrion Get out! Now! Walk down the street and appreciate. Appreciate the beauty of the sun rising above the skyscrapers of your city. Look around and see how beautiful everyone is in their complexity. When was the last time your aging, divorced and lonely aunt had a man buy her flowers? When was the last time you took your mother out for a massage "just because"? When was the last time someone leaned over the receptionists desk and asked to know how her day was going? Go sit in a park and turn off your ipod, phone and whatever other gadget and just listen the birds sing. Breathe it in and smile about how good it is to be alive.

You will radiate joy and people will ask you if you've fallen in love... To which you can comfortably respond "I have... With life".

Drop the double standard I'm quite shocked at how many people (especially in this seduction/self-development community) still keep these strange double standards at this day and age. To be honest, I used to have the same problem a long time ago. I remember my heart literally breaking when I heard about a girl I like that used to have all kinds of sex with her boyfriend. The thought of the two together made me want to vomit. The reality is that this kind of behavior comes from a misplaced sense of entitlement over a certain girl. Its the same sense of entitlement that gets you mad when you were talking to a girl at a bar and you see her all over some other guy later on, or when you get all angry that she doesn't return a phone call. (perhaps the subject of another post?) Get rid of it. Seriously. It is detrimental to your growth as a man. Why? Think about it. Is she YOUR girl? Yes. She chose to be with you out of all the other men. The reality here is that you need to feel jealous and if you can't find something to be jealous about in the present, you're gonna search for it in the past, or even worse, the future ("Baby, you'll always love me...right?"). Why do you feel possessive over your girl? And why should her sexual past affect the now of your relationship? Her sexual history should mean absolutely nothing to you. Nothing at all. But what if such and such? Ok, if she is eager to have you inside her without a condom, it should ring a few alarms... but besides that? Who cares dude. You yourself undoubtedly have your fantasies that may involve a variety of women, midgets, fire dancers, hot tubs and God knows what else. If presented the opportunity, you would jump on the occasion. Would you judge her for doing the same? If yes, you need to rethink what you're doing here, because denying a woman her right to sexuality is a really big problem. I'm honestly shocked at how many guys think it's cool to judge a woman based on her sexual past. I'm even more disgusted at men who have the intention of seducing a woman, and then lose respect for her for being seduced. That's some serious psychopathic behavior. Let's talk about trust "Honestly, you just have something so... sexy about you... and I can't figure it out" A girlfriend of mine sent me that recently. I asked her to elaborate and she said "I can just be sexy around you and you love it. I just trust you". What does it mean when she says she trusts you?

There's two different types of trust. There's superficial trust, like "I'm not going to cheat on you" trust. And then there's real trust. There's the trust she really needs. One that most men ignore (which coincidentally is crucial if they want to have that porn-star sex they've always wanted). If she feels you can't handle your own desires, emotions and masculinity, she will never trust you to handle her desires, emotions, sexuality and femininity. She will test you, because a man is hard to find. She will throw things your way like "Can you believe Sarah had sex with that guy she just met?" and you answer "Yeah baby, I cant believe that, what a slut". Nice work. Now she knows to make you wait or you will judge her. She will listen to how you brag about your sexual exploits to your friends, how you judge other girls in front of her, how you are shocked at the slightest mention of sexuality on her part. She notices all of these things and makes a mental note of them. "He can't handle me" she says, and so she doesnt trust you. Trust is the greatest gift she can give you It's her way of submitting to you. It is her way of recognizing that you are the man she needs in her life. She trusts you will protect her because you didn't break when she threw tests at you, stoic and strong. She trusts that you will not judge her, because when she made judgmental remarks about her girlfriend, you put her in her place for it. She trusts that you are a man, because you were too busy with your passions to fall in love with her in a day like every other chump who bent over backwards for her. She surrenders to you because she now knows you are man enough to handle her. Be a man Accept her for who she is. Allow her to be who she truly is around you and you will find a real relationship rather than a superficial one. Allow her to express her sexuality, she's doing it for you! Or would you rather a girl who isn't comfortable in her own sexuality and just lies there passively? Relationships are about growing together. Learn new things, try something out of the ordinary, don't judge her for it! How do you expect her to be herself around you if you judge her for it? And who cares if she's been with more men than you have been with women? Value comes from within. You are born with it. If you grasp your potential and grow as a man, you won't lose value to anyone. Let alone over something as stupid as the notches on your belt... Game - the incredible Onion I was out slutting around with Cliff and OliverKing at Koko lounge. The venue was kind of empty and so I was talking to the staff for fun, running back and forth between a bachelor party and a bachelorette party across the room because, hey - why not? It was then that I saw her. She was standing by the bar with her girlfriend. Her tight black dress revealed a multitude of curves I was eager to explore. Her blonde hair, blue eyes and stunning smile made my heart melt. I truly am a lover of women and blondes, unfortunately, are my greatest weakness. I walk up to her with my usual I-own-the-world-smile, put my hand out and tell her I want to meet her. She looks at me and asks why? I look her in the eye and say Because from the moment I saw you, I couldnt take my eyes off you.

Social interactions are like an onion Those who are truly masters of their craft recognize this. There are a multitude of layers that need to be shed before a true connection can occur. Most people picture the process of a pickup as a type of race. You start at zero and work your way up from there. In fact, it is the opposite. You start at a specific point, and slowly shed away layers until you reach a connection. She looks at me ...and reacts a little coldly. She brushes me off and slightly turns her back to me, but not completely. Its moments like these that I live for. I ask her why shes being shy, and she tells me she has a boyfriend. I tell her hes boring and she shouldnt be so quick to dismiss people, then turn to her friend and introduce myself. We begin to speak spanish and my blondy is listening attentively. I turn back to her and snap a couple teases her way. She turns towards me a little more. This is all part of the game, this is all a dance. It takes two to tango. The Onion You begin with a projected image. She is that hot but bitchy girl at the bar, you are that guy in the suit several size too big. You exchange names and converse. Slowly, those projected identities begin to disintegrate and she then becomes the nurse at the hospital not too far from your place, and you are now the funny yet charming business student. More layers shed and she is now that dorky girl who has a passion for photography yet sucks at it, and you are the guy that wanted to be a rock star but cant play the guitar to save his life. A couple drinks later and youre sitting down together on that couch in the corner of the lounge and she is now a person, sweet, caring, vulnerable and shy. You are a man, attractive, assertive and strong. I keep talking But this time, I direct a question or two at the blonde and she begins to answer them with more and more enthusiasm. She starts to ask me questions, throw teases my way and punching my arm playfully. The three of us were having a really great time together. Her friend turns to get a drink and the blonde comes up close to me and says Ive never met anyone so... unafraid... dominant... assertive. Most guys wouldve just left. I nod in an understanding way and tell her that I am not like most men. I dont have time for bullshit. We talked a little bit more and found out that she is an amazing person. I had to go and she grabbed my arm and said I cant give you my number, but put yours in my friends phone and Ill call you if anything comes up. Allow her to unravel Most guys dont understand that. They dont see the dance, they only see adversity. They dont see the beauty in the interactions, only the value they are trying to take from her. So when they hit a wall, they turn tail and run. A man recognizes the illusion and plays his part in the dance. You take her hand ...and walk away from the couch together. You head into a taxi and go straight to your place. You are

no longer students, nurses, artists or musicians. You connected on a primal level. Nothing else exists as the animals in both of you finally reared their heads and there is nothing left to peel away. There is just you, and her. The real you. The real her. Bliss.

Renounce and Rejoice! There is absolutely no greater joy than a complete sense of surrender. I was watching the scene in Fight Club where the protagonist and Tyler Durden are fighting over the control of a car speeding down a road and Tyler keeps yelling to just let go!. It really got me thinking. Not to ruin the book or movie, but the protagonist does eventually let go and the car ends up crashing into a ditch. Still wanna let go? Although renunciation has been a major theme I have written about on multiple occasions, I decided to explore it and dedicate an article to this often misunderstood eastern-imported concept. Seek refuge in the attitude of detachment and you will amass the wealth of spiritual awareness. Those who are motivated only by the fruits of action are miserable, for they are constantly anxious about the results of what they do. When consciousness is unified however, all vain anxiety is left behind. Bhagavad Gita All life is chaos. We are thrust into a world we do not understand and we leave it even more confused than when we came in. We chase after external objects that we think will make us happier and they dont, so we chase something bigger. We dont seem to understand that the smell and feel of a new car wears off quickly When you keep thinking about sense objects, attachment comes. Attachment breeds desire, the lust of possession that burns to anger. Anger clouds judgment. Lost is the ability to learn from past mistakes. Bhagavad Gita There is, however, an underlying order to this chaos. We do not see it at first, but the universe works in such an extraordinary way, to the point where the beating of a butterflies wings causes typhoons half way across the world. The universe is so powerful that the moon causes water levels to rise or recede, and winters can effect our emotions. Take a minute to let that sink in. Now keep reading this post is not about nature, or some strange esoteric new-age idea. This post is about one of the most important aspects of masculinity: Self-worth. But those who realize the self are always satisfied. Having found the source of joy and fulfillment they no longer seek happiness form the external world. They have nothing to gain or lose by any action; neither people nor things can affect their security . Bhagavad Gita One of the most amazing men I have ever encountered is Zan Perrion, a Canadian author and renowned womanizer in the same tradition as Don Juan and Casanova. We were discussing life, love and romance when he said something that I can never forget. He looked up from his chair and said Renunciation is the key. There can never be any depth in anything without renunciation. I know what youre thinking

Renunciation must be the opposite of depth. How can you commit if you renounce? Zan is quite an interesting fellow. He sold all of his material possessions, does not own a phone, and gave the rest of his belongings to his beloved daughter. He then committed himself to his passions and left to travel the world. You see, when you renounce attachment, you begin to experience things more fully than while you are attached. There is no truer love than unconditional love. Do I have to sell my things and be a monk? Absolutely not. Just stop caring about them. As an exercise, turn your phone off. Get off Facebook, unplug your Ipod and stop reading your emails. Just for one day, close the door to your room and just sit there. If you cannot be alone with yourself and actually enjoy the experience, you do not love yourself the way you should. It is astounding to me to what extent we have been programmed to draw our self-worth from material goods and external circumstances. No, this is not a tirade against materialism. If you want that new car, work your ass off and get it. If you want to live a simple life, take that first scary step towards a simpler life. All that matters is that your self-worth is not attached to the outcome of your actions. As a wise man once said, I am motivated by achievement, not by pride. How do I renounce? It all began as a conscious decision. It came to the point where I could not be happy unless I was getting some kind of attention. I figured that if I was getting attention from women, I must be an attractive and interesting person. It came to the point where I could not be happy unless I had the best new suit, the best new pair of shoes (I was at pair number 12 and was looking forward to number 13). I was so wrong My first step was to willingly unplug myself. Instead of needing, I decided to give. Instead of manipulating, I began to invite. Instead of planning, I began to flow. I had unknowingly embarked upon the most extraordinary summer of my life. Surrender As men, its frightening to lose control. But once you surrender, once you renounce, you begin to experience something amazing: joy. Most people confuse joy and happiness. They are not synonymous. In western culture, happiness is an elusive concept. A type of construct that has a time limit attached to it. We embark upon a pursuit of happiness and hope to reach it in a given amount of time (Ever heard yourself say When I get this, I will be happy, or when this happens, I will be happy?). Happiness is now tied to an external source but we forget one crucial issue: What can be given, can be taken away. Why would you put your well-being in the hands of others? Why would your self-worth be attached to something fleeting and impermanent? Here is where joy comes in. Joy is the highest emotion, because it is tied to nothing external. We are born joyful. Dont mistake a babys crying as unhappiness. A child is the happiest thing on earth because it is the freest. Its self -worth in no way comes from attachment to external sources. Give it an object then take it away. Let the baby cry for a few minutes and then watch him be curious, distracted, happy and excited by even the smallest speck of dust on the ground. So why surrender? Because with the simple act of surrender, you take an immeasurable step towards

empowerment. The act of surrender, although scary at first, will give you a greater amount of selfcontrol than rigidly clinging to a false set of values and external objects. Understand that only when you are free, you can act the way you are meant to act. Act This is immeasurably important. Act, but not as a man attached. Act as a man established within himself. Behave in the way you were meant to. Being born a male does not automatically earn you the title of man. A man acts in line with his nature and values, but with a complete sense of detachment. Your self-worth is not attached to the outcome of your actions. Win or lose, you are still you. In practical terms: hit the gym because you have to stay healthy not because you want a pat on the back for those abs. And yes, women will still love you with a pot belly. Get that promotion because ambition is what makes us men weather you get it or not is irrelevant, its the fact that you are actively shooting higher and higher. See what Im getting at here? Your self-worth comes from within. If you make the active decision that from now on, you are attractive to all women, you will be. If you make the decision that form now on, you will do whatever it takes to get in shape, you will. If you decide that you will devote yourself to excelling in your line of work, you will. If a woman turns away from you, it does not make you unattractive. If losing that gut takes a little more time than expected, so be it. The important part is that your actions are fueled by a desire to grow as a man, and not for results. The Journey is the destination Go ahead! Renounce! Go and talk to that cute girl that gets coffee at the same place every morning. Dont plan what you will say, dont think about how she will react. Let go and just walk up to her. Tell her you want to see her again and give her your number. You are a man, she is a woman. That is all you need. If she likes you shell call. Who cares what happens? Try living without control. Flow naturally. Turn your damned phone off and start paying attention to people. Dont plan meetings and events, tell people where you will be and invite them to come along. Weather they show up or not is irrelevant, you are going on your adventure anyway. Who cares if you are late to that party? Who cares if you missed that important phone call? You are discovering you! You are busy enriching your character. Oh and that girl from the coffee shop? She wondered why you havent called her yet and so she finally called to ask you to come out with her and her girlfriends. Trust One who conquers himself is greater than another who conquers a thousand times a thousand men on the battlefield. Be victorious over yourself and not over others. When you attain victory over yourself, not even the gods can turn it into defeat. Dhammapada Trust in yourself. Most of the time you fail because you do not trust in yourself. You do not trust that you are charming, so you force people to stay around you. You do not trust that you are attractive, so you crowd the one who shows the slightest bit of interest in you. You do not trust you deserve the best, so you settle for that low-paying position. Most importantly, trust that things will work out the way

they should. If she likes you, shell call. If you are interesting to be around, interesting people will surround you! Imagine a life where everything just flows naturally. You no longer need to worry about outcomes. You act because you should, you trust in yourself because you just know that you are the best you can possibly be. Go ahead. Set yourself free. Be a man...of Purpose I was sitting around at home the other day and was thinking about a girl I had met earlier that week. As is customary, I took out my phone and began scrolling through my contacts looking for someone interesting to talk to, unless I came upon her number first, in which case I would text her. As my contacts droned on, a thought came to me and I abruptly stopped myself, turned my phone off and put it away. Purpose or neediness? What I am about to explain is going to clash with certain things we spoke about earlier, namely, being free of motives when you interact with the world. I'm talking about something entirely different here. I'm talking about purpose. You can be free of outcome and still have a purpose. You cannot have a purpose and be free of outcome. In other words, your complete independence (see Renounce and Rejoice) must first be firmly established for you to act with purpose, while to act with purpose but being attached to an outcome will only make your actions contrived and inauthentic. In English please? Have you ever been talking to a beautiful young lady you accidentally bumped into at a social event, and the more you talk to her the more you want to kiss her? It just naturally happens. It's what we call chemistry or a spark. Now picture this; you see a woman and you tell yourself you are going to try to kiss her. You walk up to her and are so nervous while talking to her that she begins to feel uneasy. You clumsily try to move in closer to fulfill your desired outcome, and like two opposing magnets, she slips back. Exactly. What does it mean to act with purpose? I see the same patterns over and over with men nowadays. Their actions are contrived and they are half asleep as they perform them. They lack purpose. Some examples of lack of purpose are: -"I'm bored so I'll text her". Why? What is the purpose of texting her? What is the intention behind it? Is she filling a void? Are you using her to un-bore you? Then turn your phone off and go do something interesting and come back in an hour and say hi. Tell her you thought of her, and then get back to doing whatever. It took me a while to understand this. Random back and forth texting for hours was nothing more than mental masturbation. Connections through technology are not real. Perhaps the subject of another post but face to face is ALWAYS better than phone, and phone is ALWAYS better than a text. Have a purpose. If you want to call to shoot the shit and see how she is, do it. If you want to text to invite her out, do it. Have a purpose. I see too many men make the same mistake over and

over and then they wonder why their numbers flake. -The useless hand on shoulder. This one is just sad. We are constantly told to touch, and touch often. As a result, I see guys walking around and touching women with absolutely no purpose whatsoever. Like

they have a check mark in their head "Put arm on shoulder, check!". Why are you touching her? Is touching her shoulder going to lead to sex? Do you want to be her friend? Then shake her hand. If you want to have sex with her, pull her in close and put your arms around her. Act with purpose! Your actions should reflect your intentions. -walking around for hours looking for women to pick up. Seriously. Just stop. Nothing says creepy like a couple guys just walking around looking for women. I know what you're thinking "boys will be boys" right? Talk to me when you're ready to be a man, not a boy. A man doesn't have time to walk around looking for women. Walk with purpose. You have somewhere you have to be. Who is to stop you from chatting up that lovely woman that crossed your path. "I'd love to stay and chat but I have to run, give me you're number and I'll call you this week". Congrats, there's a new lovely lady that's excited to see you. Think Seduction is an art, and to be an artist you sure as hell need to be smart. If you are even a little bit critical you will probably be asking yourself "well that's great, but why should I do any of that?". Glad you asked! You see, most men don't take the time to stop and think. 8% of communication is verbal, the rest is non-verbal. That leaves a huge window open for sub-communication. I have bad news for you mate... No matter how many cocky lines you can come up with, your sub-communication never lies. Think! By behaving the way you do, what are you sub-communicating? Its time to stopacting busy and to be busy. Its time to stop acting like you have women in your life and start allowing women into your life. By touching her in an awkward place just because you think you have to, you are subcommunicating that you don't value her as a person, but instead see her as an algorithm. Touch here + say this = parted legs. WRONG. By texting her because you're bored, you are sub-communicating that your time is not valuable. If she is a quality girl, her time sure as hell is valuable, so don't expect her to entertain you for long. Last but not least, if you don't value your own time, how could she value yours? Purpose is attractive! Women LOVE a man of purpose. Every action leads to an outcome. Every word hits home. What woman doesn't want a man who has no time to waste with games? What woman is not interested in a man who is forever growing and changing. What woman has no eye for a man who is entirely absorbed in his journey, finding new and better ways to enrich his life and the people around him. When that man

takes a break from his adventure and drops her a line, she gets excited that he thought of her at all! Countless men ask me how to flip the script... this is it boys. Be a man... of purpose! This may seem complicated but I assure you it is much easier. This freedom translates into every aspect of your life. It simplifies your life a great deal because you are now able to prioritize. You no longer follow rules, you set trends. Try it! Next girl you meet, don't text her in two days because of the out-dated, predictable '2-day rule'. Call her when you're out with your friends and she popped in your head and you feel like seeing her. What it Means to be Centered Within Yourself You have a right to work, but never to the fruit of work. You should never engage in action for the sake of reward, nor should you long for inaction. Perform work in this world as a man established within himself without selfish attachments, and alike in success and defeat . Bhagavad Gita As men, we are constantly faced with adversity. Certainly no man of worth can ever say that he became the way he is by cruising through life. Indeed, our characters are inexorably shaped by the way we react to the challenges scattered throughout our journey. So what? Will you stand up and face the challenges head on, or will you bend over and leave it to greater men than you? Even if you chose to face these challenges, how would you go about doing it? How can you act with knowledge and full belief in yourself? You are okay as you are, right now Confidence is rooted in Self-acceptance. This is a point that cannot be avoided. The root of every external problem begins within. No one can fully explore your potential unless you fully explore your potential. No one can truly love you unless you truly love yourself. No one knows what you are capable of until you know what you are capable of. Although this advice seems redundant and self-helpy, it really is crucial. How can you know yourself if you dont love yourself? Once you begin to wholly accept and love yourself the way you are, you break free from others expectations and begin to draw self worth from within. Embrace your masculine core This one is a little bit more difficult to internalize. Ill cut straight to it; Own your gender. Be ok with being a man. Do not vacillate from your duties out of fear. You are being a man when your friends are indecisive about where to go tonight and you make the decision. You are being a man when you express yourself about the things you enjoy, no matter how embarrassed you might feel. You are being a man when you see a woman you are attracted to and you walk over and introduce yourself. You are being a man when you allow your woman to unleash her rage and passions and anger while you stand firm, like a rock in the storm. Do not fight your biology. Accept your masculine and act from it. Every action should come from within and be an expression of your masculinity. When you are speaking to that beautiful woman, you arnt doing it so your friends could see you do it, you are doing it because you are a man and as a man, it is your job to go after what you want. When you are admiring her dress and telling her how good she looks in it, you arnt doing so because you think it will help spread her legs. You are doing so because as a man, it is your duty to notice and celebrate the things you love about

women. Why? Simply because! But those who realize the Self are always satisfied. Having found the source of joy and fulfillment, they no longer seek happiness from the external world. They have nothing to gain or lose by any action; neither people nor things can affect their security . Bhagavad Gita When presented with a challenge, why should you face it head on? Simply because. As a man, each challenge, win or lose, enriches your character. Remember your duties as a man and act. It doesnt matter if that woman who caught your eye is surrounded by a million people or is standing all alone. You are a man, she is a woman, walk on over there! Imagine that, youre now talking to a complete stranger and letting her experience your unique self. Who wouldve thought? Shes enjoying the conversation but raises her eyebrow and asks Are you flirting with me? to which you confidently respond Youre absolutely stunning of course Im flirting with you!. You threw yourself in there because it is your duty to make your presence felt. Un-stifle yourself Do it, and as soon as possible at that. When faced with adversity, ask yourself questions like; how would a man behave?, and more importantly is this course of action truly in line with my values? in other words; how would you behave if nothing else existed. If there was nothing holding you back, if you had no one staring and judging you, if there were no negative consequences, what would you do? How do I apply this? Of all the weaknesses of men, doubt is the true enemy Crassus Speak, act and behave the way you truly want to. Independent, free, strong. Say what you have to say, not to prove a point, but because to express yourself from your core is the height of masculinity. Go over there and flirt with her, because your hesitation is depriving her of a good man! Go out there and chase your dream. Refuse mediocrity, not out of pride but out of sense of duty. Fear nothing, let go of your safety nets and plunge head first into the deep just to see whats there It is what you were born to do!