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BY GWEN MORAN
On April Fools Day 2011, I was unexpectedly diagnosed with early-stage invasive breast cancer. As a freelance writer with a career I love and a family that depends on my income, I spent most of the year juggling surgeries, chemotherapy, and radiation with assignments, interviews, and youth soccer schedules. Throughout, friends and colleagues seemed surprised that I remained relatively active and pretty optimistic.
What else was there to do, I wondered. Taking to my bed for the better part of a year wasnt an option for my personality or my bank account. Why not look at the bright side of early diagnosis and great prognosis and keep going? During that time, I contributed to two books, wrote dozens of articles and ended the year with a clean bill of health. Since then, Ive been more curious than ever about why some people persevere through trying circumstances while others begin flailing at the first sign of crisis. I wondered if there were commonalities among resilient people and whether its possible to develop those qualities and strong points. The answers, according to the experts, are yes and yes. Heres what those never-say-die folks have in common--and how you can develop them for yourself.
seen the tendency to seek out support sources in children as young as five years old: When the family unit isnt functioning in that way, children tend to reach out to coaches, teachers or other adults as a support network. Similarly, resilient adults seek out others who care about them who can offer emotional, professional or other assistance when times get tough.
If you get most of your self-worth from your job and you get fired, youve suddenly lost both your source of income and a big part of your identity, says Ungar. Resilient people often have a number of areas from which they get their sense of self-worth, says Ungar. They may have deep friendships or family connections, strong faith, or a leadership role in the community. Theyre better able to bounce back, because even if one goes away, they still have a sense of connection and being valued from those other areas, he says.
GWEN MORAN
Gwen Moran writes about business, money and assorted other topics for leading publications and web sites. She was named a Small Business Influencer Awards Top 100 Champion in 2012 and is the co-author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Business Plans (Alpha, 2010). She is currently creating
Biziversity.com, an information resource for micro-businesses, from her office near the Jersey shore--the beautiful place, not the horrible television show.
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3 COMMENTS
TOM CHRISTOFFEL GWEN MORAN
Meaning, purpose and direction.
7 HOURS AGO
8 HOURS AGO
I don't comment on articles that often, but I stumbled onto this one via a friend and I felt compelled to say something after reading just the beginning of the article. I too, can relate to your experiences. While not diagnosed with cancer, I was a
three-sport athlete just 9 years ago, and in those 9 years, I've had 9 knee surgeries....with the possibility of two more in 2014. I'm often asked how I do it. How I completed my Masters while going through rehab living away from my family across the country. How I spent 8 of 18 months on crutches. How I continued to pursue a career despite it all, maintain internships, and built friendships when I was stuck on a couch. My answer was always similar to yours: there just wasn't an option not to. To your point about having multiple identities - I couldn't agree more. I've changed - a lot. I'm not an athlete anymore, I can't stand for long periods on my knees. But I'm more than that, and I've spent time focusing on growing the other parts of me.
14 HOURS AGO
Gwen, thank you for writing this article. Any of the 6 habits may be applied as a form of stress management. People often times overlook the relationship between stress (crises) and health.