Celebrants to Serve Southwest Florida

The Humanists of Florida Association (HFA) welcomes Rosemary Hagen and Robert La Salle as
Southwest Florida’s newest certified Celebrants. A Humanist Celebrant functions in the same
way as any member of the traditional clergy, with one exception: they are non-theists, and in
their "clerical" work, they do not invoke or refer to any type of religion, god, deity or mystical
power. Robert and Rosemary received their certification through the Humanist Society of the
American Humanist Association.

A Humanist Celebrant provides services to people who wish to have a non-religious ceremony to
celebrate life’s rights of passage, such as marriage, baby welcoming, funerals, etc. When asked
why he chose to become a Humanist Celebrant, Robert replied, “it is important that Humanists of
all ages be provided the opportunity to experience meaningful rites of passage in a frank and
loving manner that is free from religion and high on interpersonal relationships.”

Rosemary Hagen chose to become a Humanist Celebrant because she believes in basic Human
Rights. As she so aptly stated, “certainly it is a basic Human Right to choose the ceremony you
wish for marriage, naming or funerals. As a Humanist Celebrant, I practice the Rites and Rights
of Humanism.”

Humanist ceremonies rely on close cooperation between the celebrant and the individuals they
are serving to develop celebrations that are personal, poignant and place their emphasis on the
people involved. This non-religious approach to celebrating life’s milestones is new to most
Americans, but as Jennifer Hancock, Executive Director for HFA attests, “they are simply some
of the most beautiful and moving ceremonies I have ever participated in.”
 2006 Malarkey Award
Given to Alberto Gonzales
Fact Sheet

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales received the 2006 Malarkey

Award, given out by the Humanists of Florida Association, for his role
in justifying America’s use of torture in violation of American law,
international law, compassion, and common sense.

Attorney General Gonzales has earned this dishonor by not only

defining torture so narrowly that only actions resulting in death would
qualify, but for going further to state that America wasn’t going to
abide by the torture laws anyway.

The Facts

Alberto R. Gonzales, who as counsel to the president said about torture in Regarding the
standards of conduct under the Convention Against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman and
Degrading Treatment or Punishment as Implemented by Sections 2340-2340A of tile 18 of the
United States Code. August 1, 2002 “We conclude that for an act to constitute torture as defined
in Section 2340, it must inflict pain that is difficult to endure. Physical pain amounting to torture
must be equivalent in intensity to the pain accompanying serious physical injury, such as organ
failure, impairment of bodily function, or even death. For purely mental pain or suffering to
amount to torture under Section 2 340 it must result in significant psychological harm of
significant duration e.g. lasting for months or even years. We conclude that the statute, taken as a
whole, makes plain that it prohibits only extreme acts. … We find that in the circumstances of
the current war against al Qaeda and its allies, prosecution under Section 2340A may be barred
because enforcement of the statute would represent an unconstitutional infringement of the
President' s authority to conduct war. We conclude that, under the current circumstances, necessity
or self-defense may justify interrogation methods that might violate Secion 2340A.”

• Torture is prohibited by the US Constitution’s prohibition against cruel or unusual

punishment (Amendment 8) and became a felony in 1996 (Sections 2340-2340A of Title
18 of the United States Code). It is also prohibited by international law as outlined in the
Universal Declaration of Human Rights (Article 5).
• The United States appeared before the UN Committee Against Torture May 9th 2006 to
answer questions about known and acknowledged abuses in our military prisons.
• President Bush added a signing statement to the anti-torture legislation passed in
December 2005 re-iterating the Gonzales policy.
• Amnesty International Report on US Torture abuses and practices:
http://web.amnesty.org/library/index/engamr510612006
• Issues of Concern: Arbitrary Arrest, Detention and Exile, Torture, Extralegal Execution,
Extraordinary Rendition (Disappearance), and treatment of children in custody.
 PRESS STATEMENT

Delivered by Jennifer Hancock, March 11 2006

For the Humanists of Florida Association (www.floridahumanist.org)

The 2006 Malarkey Award

Hello, and thank you for coming.

As Roy said, I am the executive director of the Humanists of Florida
Association and we are a sub-chapter of the American Humanist
Association.

I want to start today by talking a little bit about what Humanism is and why
we decided to give out a Malarkey Award. Then we can get right into the
meat and potatoes of the award itself.
Humanism is wonderfully simple and wonderfully complex It is what it
sounds – a pro-human philosophy. It has arisen in Every Culture and in
Every Time
Humanism arises from human compassion. Our ethic is a compassion-based
ethic.
---
The official definition is that Humanism is a progressive philosophy of life,
that without supernaturalism affirms our ability and responsibility to lead
ethical lives of personal fulfillment that aspire to the greater good of
Humanity. In short, Humanism is about being a good human being, it is
about morality, and about working to end oppression and human suffering.

There are two very important things you should know about Humanism. It is
the philosophy of Democracy – you simply don’t give power to the people
unless you believe that people are basically good and can handle the
responsibility. If you think people are basically evil, you set up a
government to control them. This anti-human mindset is evident in this
year’s Malarkey recipient.
---
Humanism is also the philosophy of Human Rights – the very concept is not
possible without the positive view of humanity that is Humanism. Humanist
recognizes themselves and everyone else on the planet as being human. Real
live human beings with families, hopes, dreams, desires, etc etc. It is this
recognition that demands minimal limits on what a government may do to
any man, woman or child on the planet, which is what Human Rights are.
Limits on what governments may do to individuals. And again, a lack of
respect for human rights is evident with this year’s recipient.
---
Our focus at the Humanists of Florida Association is to promote Reason and
Compassion in Action. Reason is critical to making good decisions and
solving the problems we as a society face. Compassion is the moral
compass by which we judge our actions. And action is a moral/ethical
responsibility. If we can end suffering, we must act to end suffering.
Humanists do wait for supernatural intervention. We know, that in order for
things to change, a human being must do something to create that change.
The reason we decided to give out a Malarkey Award, because, as
Humanists, we promote the use of Reason and Compassion as a good way to
solve social problems. And it made sense to highlighting what happens
when reason and compassion are mindlessly lacking. The Malarkey is
named for Mindlessly Lacking in Reason and Compassion
(MLRC = Malark –ey)
---
Here is the award. It is an abstract wood sculpture of a mosquito (and not
actually anatomically correct – mosquitoes have a double wing set as it turns
out.)

Anyway, we decided that the Mosquito would best represent the spirit of the
Malarkey because it is very much a Florida pest. And, while mosquitoes are
usually easy to ignore, when they amass in sufficient quantities, they can
ravage our lives. The same thing happens when someone in power is
Mindlessly Lacking in Reason and Compassion.
---
The two main things you need to know about this award is:
1) Lacking Reason is often humourous, --- lacking compassion is not.
2) When both are lacking it usually results in large-scale suffering.
---
For this year’s award, we started soliciting nominees back in January. We
received a total of 14 nominees. The nominees includes some obvious
candidates – the South Dakota Legislature for banning abortion, and Bill
Frist for not only diagnosing Terri Schiavo via a 10 minute video clip, but
also working through the middle of the night on legislation that had no
chance of overturning the prior judicial rulings in that case.
In order to properly judge who should receive this award, the committee
reviewed each candidate to consider whether the nominee was not only
lacking in Reason and/or Compassion, but whether such lack rose to the
level of Mindlessness.
---
While we can only give the Malarkey to one of the candidates, we have
decided to “dis-honor” two as runner-ups.

In the category of Mindlessly Lacking in Reason – Rep and Senate candidate

Katherine Harris is the runner-up. She wins this distinction not because she
is running a campaign even her own party doesn’t think she can win, but
because she has apparently come to believe that she is doing God’s work and
that God wants her to be our Senator. With God apparently on her side, how
can she loose? She has surrounded herself with individuals who believe
God wants America as a nation to submit to an oppressive form of
Christianity, and is actively seeking the endorsements of people like Rev
Kennedy who is a known theocrat.
Believing that you are doing God’s work and so can do no wrong is a very
dangerous form of delusion and prevents reasoned, rational and realistic
consideration of any given problem, and it is becoming obvious to anyone
watching her campaign Rep Harris is now Mindlessly Lacking in Reason.
---
For Mindlessly Lacking in Compassion, it should come as no surprise that
Mike Brown, former head of FEMA, is receiving this dishonor. The memos
where he is obviously more concerned about his tie and whether he would
have time to eat a relaxing dinner while thousands waited to be rescued and
receive water is evidence enough that he wasn’t just lacking compassion for
those affected, he was Mindlessly Lacking Compassion. And while you can
argue that the agency clearly wasn’t operating reasonably either, we could
only give the Malarkey to one person.
---
The 2006 Malarkey goes to…… Attorney General Alberto Gonzales for his
role in justifying America’s use of torture in violation of American law,
international law, compassion, and common sense.
Attorney General Gonzales has earned this dishonor by not only defining
torture so narrowly that only actions resulting in death would qualify, but for
going further to state that America wasn’t going to abide by the torture laws
anyway.
Torture is considered by most interrogators to be a counter productive
method that results in unreliable information. Additionally, from a
reasoning standpoint, it makes no sense to go to great lengths to redefine
torture so that very little would qualify and then say that regardless, we
reserve the right to torture. For these reasons and more, this policy is
Mindlessly Lacking in Reason.
But, torture is also morally reprehensible. That Gonzales could so easily
justify the intentional harming of another human being is evidence that he is
Mindlessly Lacking in Compassion. Consider what you would feel like if it
were your family member who was being tortured. It makes me nauseous
just to think about it. But my disgust is a natural Compassionate and
Empathetic response to this policy and our actions.
The Gonzales policy written in August 2002 is symbolic of just how
Mindlessly Lacking in both Reason and Compassion the Bush
Administration’s stance on torture really is.
---
We decided to use this year’s award to highlight the fact that despite
assurances to the contrary, this administration is still guilty of condoning the
use of torture, and may still be practicing this heinous violation of Human
Rights. This situation is simply intolerable.