newgen

Spring 2009

Win gr
prizes einat
Inspiring and informing NCT supporters our p
compe hoto
tition!

The latest news

Keep in the loop on
parenting issues
Member benefits
Expand your horizons
with the NCT
Picture perfect
Share precious pics
with other parents

inside:

Signs of love The truth about deaf parenting

Your vision: The perfect midwife Time to party: Cheeky Monkeys have a ball! Baby on board: A pregnant passenger’s tale
 Photo: Mother and Baby Picture Library

4 newgen magazine winter 2008

 heading
contents

Inspiring and informing NCT supporters

inside
Spring 2009

Welcome 4 What’s new

Hello everyone, my name is Stay in the know with conference updates and more
John Pinching, the proud new 6 In the know
editor of Newgen. News from our press and campaigns departments
We’ve given the magazine 9 Your say
a fresh new look for 2009. You tell us about your experiences
We’ve revamped regular sections and also 11 Get the picture
added columns from our press and campaigns Share your images and you could win a prize
teams to provide you with all the gossip. 13 Bag a bargain
Newgen still covers real-life experiences of NCT Nearly New Sales uncovered
parenthood and tells you about all the fun, 14 Time for tea
money-saving ways to get involved with the We join the fun with NCT Cheeky Monkeys
NCT. Now we’re also offering you the chance 17 Travel tales
to win some amazing prizes in an exciting Tackling the Tube while pregnant
photo competition that celebrates what it is to 18 Silent witness
be an NCT member – check it out on page 11. Cover story: Deaf mum Sabina Iqbal on parenthood
This is your magazine, so get in touch and let 23 No age limit
us know what you think. Profile of Chole Morton, a 16 year old mum
24 Family movie
A look at the new Bumps to Breastfeeding DVD
25 20:20 Vision
NCT members discuss the perfect midwife
John Pinching
email: newgeneditor@nct.org.uk 34 First person
or write to John Pinching, newgen, NCT, Alexandra House, Simone Costello on her move to Rugby
Oldham Terrace, London W3 6NH

Pregnancy and Birth line:
0870 444 8709
Breastfeeding line:
Cover photo: Lucy Johnston
Calls to 0844 numbers will be charged a maximum of 5p ThE NCT iS A REgiSTEREd ChARiTY No. 801395
per minute (+VAT) from BT phone lines. The price of calls from All advertisements submitted for inclusion in newgen are checked for compliance
mobile networks will vary. with our Sponsorship Commercial Relationships & Advertising policy. The NCT

Published by Axon Publishing, 11 Plough Yard,
0300 33 00 771 London EC2A 3LP www.axonpublish.com
enquiries line: Advertising enquiries to Mongoose Media Ltd, 2 Lonsdale
0300 33 00 770 Road, London NW6 Contact: Ben Shoesmith
Tel: 020 7306 0300 Email: advertising@nct.org.uk
reserves the right to accept or reject advertising material. No correspondence will
be entered into. Advertisements are accepted in good faith but the NCT cannot be
held responsible for any claims made by advertisers. Please note that none of the
food products advertised in this magazine is suitable for babies under six months
and some will only be suitable for older children and adults.

Views expressed by contributors to newgen are not necessarily

Printed on 100% recycled paper those of the NCT charity or of Axon Publishing.

Spring 2009 newgen magazine 3

 email: newgeneditor@nct.org.uk
News
what’s going on in the world of the NCT
Let’s get together!
Celebrate the NCT at our Annual Conference in June
GET PASSIoNATE ABouT THE NCT, fIND
out more about the work we do, and take
the opportunity to make new friends at
The NCT Annual Conference
The Conference – which takes place in the
at Brangwyn Hall in Swansea from 26-28
June 2009 – is where the charity can get
together and celebrate the achievements of
the last year, while also looking to the future.
It’s the NCT’s aim for all parents in the uK
to have an enriching pregnancy, birth and
early parenthood. We strive to increase
involvement with the people we seek to
support. We also encourage interaction
with volunteers, specialist workers and
professional organisations. So, the theme for
the weekend is ‘increasing involvement’.
For the first time the conference will
incorporate our Specialist Workers’ Joint
4 newgen magazine Spring 2009
telephone: 020 7846 4567
get involved
and join us
this year
f
forum. The Joint fforum will begin on friday
26. The main theme of this Forum will be
diversity, listening to all parents and focusing
on birth and beyond. Inspirational speakers
and workshops are sure to make it a truly
unforgettable event. full programme details
can be found at update.nct.org.uk/sw.
our AGM and Members’ fforum – taking
place at 9.40am on Saturday 27 – are also
part of the conference weekend.
AGM information is available online at
update.nct.org.uk/agm. Meanwhile, if
you have a question for the board at
the Members’ fforum please email
l_squire@nct.org.uk.
Don’t miss your chance to attend,
so book now and take advantage
of our great ‘early bird’ offer at
update.nct.org.uk/conference
“I believe that no
child should miss out
on a good start in life
simply by default of
being poor.”
Actor, and supporter of the campaign to end
child Poverty, chris Parker
To the end
Help NCT Campaigns to
help children in poverty
ThEE NCT iS PRoud To BE A MEMBER of
the Campaign to End Child Poverty. in
october 2008, 10,000 campaign supporters
attended the organised rally in London
and urged the government to keep its
promise to halve child poverty by 2010.
According to its pre-budget review in
November 2008, the government is
committed to its ultimate pledge – to
end child poverty by 2020. Real progress
towards eradicating child poverty,
however, has been missed.
The government will now have to
re-double its efforts in 2009 if it is going to
meet its targets as time is rapidly running
out. The Campaign to End Child Poverty is
continuing to put pressure on the
government to keep its promise.
find out more about the campaign by
visiting nct.org.uk /endchildpoverty.
« CONFERENCE
HIgHLIgHTS INCLudE:
• Expert speakers
• Specialist workshops covering
a wide range of topics
• A debate on preparation for birth
• The Father Monologues: a theatrical
approach to involving dads
• The 2009 Volunteer Awards
• 2009 AGM and Members’ Forum
 News

In you we trust
Ready for a new challenge? How about taking
your involvement with the NCT to the next
level and becoming one of our trustees…
54%
Since 2000, numbers of home births have risen
Grab your chance to 54% compared with the rise in total numbers
make a difference of births of 14%. For more on this go to
BirthChoiceUK.com/HomeBirthRates.htm

Fight for the

right to feed your
child – no matter
where you are

If you’re interested in fellow trustees. Another vital

helping to guide the NCT’s
work and development, why not
join the board of trustees? A
respected, responsible volunteer
role, trusteeship is also a route
to developing new skills, gaining
more experience and getting
involved with new networks.
You’ll spend at least 12 days a
year on your trustee work. This
includes four daytime board
meetings in London and two
training or strategy days, which
can involve an overnight stay.
Other trustee work includes
writing proposals, commenting
on papers and maintaining email
and telephone contact with
function is to serve on at least
one board committee. Although
the role is unpaid, reasonable
expenses will be covered.
We have at least five vacancies
Your say on
and are particularly looking for
members – or partners and
friends – with experience in HR,
breastfeeding
IT or legal property at a strategic Fight for the right to
level. We’d also like to encourage
candidates from Wales, Scotland feed in public – whatever
or Northern Ireland so that our the age of your child
board reflects all the UK. You’ll
have the chance to stand for The forthcoming Equality Bill is likely
election as a trustee at our to give all women across the UK legal
annual conference in Swansea. protection against discrimination when
To apply, please request an breastfeeding in public.
information pack at jobs@nct.org.uk It is possible, however, that this
will only protect mothers who are

Vision decision breastfeeding a baby up to the age of

six months. We want to know about
We’re getting the wheels in motion for 20:20 Vision – the your thoughts and experiences of
NCT’s new plan for transforming our charity over the next breastfeeding beyond six months and
decade, and beyond. why you think it is important that the law
The NCT wants to think again about its strategy for 2010 to protects a woman’s right to breastfeed
2020, making sure we help all parents in the UK have an experience for as long as she and her baby want.
of pregnancy, birth and early parenthood that enriches their lives and
gives them confidence as a parent. Please send your views to
In order to do this, we need your help: first we need to understand more campaigns@nct.org.uk. We will use
about the difficulties and dilemmas parents face. In the near future we will this information to demonstrate to
be sending an email out to our members with some specific questions. Your the Government that a woman
response is essential as we establish new, modern and informed targets for deserves the positive right to
the future. To find out more go to nct.org.uk/2020 breastfeed in public.

Spring 2009 newgen magazine 5

 nct shop
for everything you need for you
and your baby call 0845 8100 100
or visit nctshop.co.uk

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Code: 4412
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6 newgen magazine Spring 2009

 NCT Activities

Read all about us

Press column Campaigns column

Press gang Taking action

With Nicola Ryan With Elizabeth Somerville

the Staggering amount of NCT media coverage from our Campaigning team have been working
june to December 2008 means WE’re officially Record tirelessly all over the united kingdom to
Breakers – Let’s hope we do this again in 2009 change the lives of parents for the better!

It’s official – we’ve broken records for
the amount of NCT media coverage. In
the last six months of 2008 there was a
whopping 1,000 items of coverage on TV,
radio and in print – including 70 items in
the national newspapers. Mentions in the
Mirror, Daily Mail, Independent and even
the Financial Times covered a wide range
of subjects such as home births, lack of NHS antenatal classes
and breastfeeding octuplets.
The early part of this year saw French Minister Rachida Dati
return to work only five days after having a caesarean birth. The
move prompted a volley of press coverage, and Mary Newburn,
NCT’s Head of Research & Information was quoted in several
papers saying: “It would be disappointing if mothers today felt
pressurised into returning to work as soon as possible after
having children. We must value families and giving babies a
good start in life. Employers should also respect the rights of
parents to have a work and family life balance.”
We’ve been working on several articles for magazines such as
Take A Break and Real People. It’s this sort of publicity that raises
awareness of our charity and the issues it supports.
Local branches have also been working tirelessly to promote
regional activities and issues. A total of 88 stories made it
into the pages of local newspapers nationwide. And, on an
international note, the NCT’s comments on induction rates in
Scotland even surfaced in Malaysia!
We’re keen to build on this success, here’s to the rest of 2009!
The start of the year has been extremely
busy, as we push for positive change on
a number of issues.
We’ve been particularly prominent in
campaigning for a maternity services
plan in Northern Ireland – England,
Scotland and Wales have all devised
long-term strategies for the years ahead
but a lack of focus at central governmental level has meant
Northern Ireland’s agenda has been neglected. The NCT urges
its members to call for change both locally and nationally.
Meanwhile, the Breastfeeding Manifesto Coalition is getting
ready to start a new campaign to give better support for mums
to breastfeed their babies in public. Look out for news of the
campaign in your area and how you can get involved in making
your locality more breastfeeding friendly. 
NCT campaigners in England will also be pushing for
Maternity Matters to deliver on its promises, such as pregnant
women having the option of a home, centre or hospital birth.
The Department of Health has promised to make this a reality
by 2009 but there’s still a lot to be done. By joining NCT Active
you can add your voice, ensuring the Government remains
committed on this.
Finally, I would like to say thank you for your continued
passion for NCT campaigns and NCT Active. Remember, it is
your help and enthusiasm that makes positive change happen.
If you haven’t had the chance to campaign yet, check out the
department online at nct.org.uk/active.

Support system Here are Some ways the nCT can
help you blossom as a parent
As you start your 1 Step on: Sign up to Stepping Stones, the
journey through NCT’s free eguide, to keep informed about
parenthood, there life as a parent from your third month of
pregnancy to your baby’s second birthday.
are so many ways Email steppingstones@nct.org.uk.
to receive help 2 Parent trap: Your local Bumps & Babies
group is a great way to get out and about,
from the NCT make new friends and swap tips on life as a
We support thousands of mums and dads parent. Visit nct.org.uk/events.
each year through courses, helplines and a 3 Question time: Get your questions
fantastic local network. As soon as you are answered on our Pregnancy & Birth line.
pregnant, we will be there for you. Call 0300 330 0772.
4 Retail therapy: Kit out your kid in style
with the NCT Shop. Call 0845 8100 100
or visit nctshop.co.uk.
5 Comfort zone: Get measured for a
comfortable feeding bra by one of our expert
volunteer fitters. Call 0300 330 0770.
6 Food for thought: Speak to an NCT
breastfeeding counsellor for support with
feeding your baby. Call 0300 330 0771.
7 Bargain hunt: Save money at NCT Nearly
New Sales. Visit nct.org.uk/nns.
8 Mother beyond: The first tentative steps
for a new mum can be daunting. Fear not,
NCT Early Days courses are here to help. Visit
nct.org.uk/confidence.

Spring 2009 newgen magazine 7

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 letters

WIN! £30 OF
NCT SHOP
VOuCHERS
Every issue, the
writer of Newgen’s
star letter will be
Your say
As usual you’ve been keen to send us
sent a £30 NCT
Shop voucher to
your views on the NCT and respond to
spend on whatever the winter Newgen – share your opinions
they like. Visit on this issue at yoursay@nct.org.uk
nctshop.co.uk

emotionally available to them. i am, therefore,

It’s an education amazed at how many parents (advised
I was touched by the article about antenatal by health professionals) practice ‘controlled
depression in the winter edition of Newgen. When I crying’ with babies of this age. Consider how
was pregnant with my second son I too experienced much worse it must be for the baby to
a strange personality shift, during which I became experience these emotions when they are
detached from the world and was confused by everyday tasks. Reading the alone in a dark room at night?
article was like finding an old photo of me. Parents who’d never dream of leaving their
unfortunately, unlike the person in your article, my midwife and gP baby during the day to scream in distress,
effectively told me to pull myself together as depression didn’t happen routinely do it for hours at a time at night. i
during pregnancy, but after. I spent the rest of my pregnancy in a strange fully appreciate how debilitating it is having a
cocoon – never quite knowing what was going on and having to look after baby who does not sleep well, but I question
my toddler at the same time. whether our parenting responsibilities should
I was so pleased to find out that antenatal depression is now a stop at 7pm, just to meet our needs?
recognised condition and as common as its postnatal equivalent. It is very Name withheld, Wharfedale branch
encouraging that the NCT is highlighting the issue and providing support
for the people affected. In fact, I’m so impressed that I have rejoined the With thanks
NCT even though my kids are now teenagers! I want to add my voice to I’d like to say a big thank you to the
a charity that provides education and empowerment not only for birth NCT for all the help and support my
choices and breastfeeding but the whole holistic experience throughout husband and I have received following
pregnancy and parenting. our enrolment on your antenatal
Rosemary Thomas, Bridgend and postnatal classes.
I was initially sceptical about going on
another course, having already attended
Good guidance a very useful NHS version. But I found
I’ve just watched the film from Bump to the teacher extremely professional
Breastfeeding and I was pretty impressed. and the course really informative,
As an NHS breastfeeding counsellor I felt which definitely helped me to feel more
the film covered all the essential tips to confident as the labour approached.
successful breastfeeding – skin-to-skin As a result of our sessions, I felt that I
contact immediately after birth, correct was in a better position to make the right
positioning and attachment, the decisions for myself and my beautiful
importance of finding support and the baby boy. The best part was finding six
health and emotional benefits. other mothers with whom I can share the
The mums in the film also talk about highs and lows of any given day – they’ve
their experience of breastfeeding in public all become really great friends.
and show just how easy it can be. In my They have also been the best source of
experience most people are completely support throughout the initial months, as
unaware of a breastfeeding baby. It really we’ve had to cope with a newborn and all
does look as if baby is asleep on your lap A crying shame the trials and tribulations that brings.
– skin and boobs safely concealed by your i read with interest your recent article on We all have very different babies and
own clothes and the baby’s body! Separation Anxiety and the description of the different problems but each of us has
I’m so happy that the DVD is going to be physiological events occurring in a baby’s been able to offer the others advice or
available free to new mums – I just wish it brain when their parent leaves the room. support along the way. So thanks again
had been made earlier as it would have The author advises that parents should – without the NCT my husband and I
given me immeasurable peace of mind recognise their baby’s distress and respond would have gone through this alone; that
when I was having my first child. to their cries, thus letting the baby grow up wouldn’t have been so much fun!
Fran Keene, dulwich branch secure in the knowledge the parent is always Kay Hudson, Farnham branch

Spring 2009 newgen magazine 9


Picture this
We need you to help us create a fantastic nationwide
photo album of real-life pregnancy and parenting
Some of the fabulous images
already in our NCT Flickr group
In January this year, as our way of
saying ‘Hello 2009’, we launched NCT
Photo Group on Flickr.com. This official
site will enable NCT members from all
over the country to make contact with
Newgen and share their photos and
videos with other members.
It is our hope that by posting images
that document your parenting experience
and local NCT branch events, you’ll
establish a connection with other NCT
groups, use the site to promote your
events and create an online picture library
to enjoy with your local NCT branch.
This is your opportunity to share
images that reflect the real life story of
both pregnancy and parenting with us.
Your submissions will enable us to use
a better variety of photographs in our
NCT publications. Of course, if we do
choose to use your image for an
NCT publication we will request your
permission beforehand.
Flickr is very easy to use. You can
upload digital images on to the site
from your computer, send by email, or
use your camera-phone. Plus, you can
set up your image library so that your
Our NCT Flickr page
pictures can be seen only by the people
who you want to see them.
We’ve already had a great response to
our Flickr site as the images above show.
All you have to do to join in the fun is, if
you already have a Flickr account, search
for ‘OFFICIAL NCT GROUP’ under ‘Groups’
and join – then you’ll be free to post your
pics. If you don’t have a Flickr account
then simply set one up by filling in a simple
online form or, if you have a yahoo email
account, use your yahoo log in and ID
then upload your perfect pictures.
Photo competition
sponsored by
Win a camera!
To encourage you to get snapping,
and celebrate our new NCT Flickr
account, we’re launching a special photo
competition with great prizes on offer.
To enter, just send us a special photo
that you think sums up what the NCT
means to you.
You don’t need to be the new David
Bailey – we don’t mind if the picture is a
feat of technical wizardry or is a simple,
spontaneous snap. We just want to see
warm, wonderful images that mean
something to you.
 Because we’re looking for a range of
captivating images, our judging panel will
shortlist ten lucky winners who will receive
an enlargement of the winning image
(8"x10") , a free printing booklet (25 free
prints per month ) and a 1GB USB stick,
all courtesy of Snappy Snaps.
How to enter
Upload your photo on the official
NCT Flickr Group and tag your photo
‘NCT MEMBERS COMPETITION’, and
make your image viewable to the
public, alternatively you can email your
picture to newgeneditor@nct.org.uk or
post your picture in an envelope
marked ‘NCT Photo Competition’ c/o
Axon Publishing, 11 Plough Yard,
London EC2A 3LP. Closing date for
entries is 15 April 2009 and entries will
be judged on 24 April 2009. Winners will
be notified by email on April 28 2009. For
terms and conditions visit our website at
nct.org.uk/competitions.
Spring 2009 newgen magazine 11
Peace of mind before, during
and after pregnancy
Model and clothes by Isabella Oliver
www.IsabellaOliver.com

Pregnacare® supports

From Boots, Superdrug, Holland & Barrett,

leading supermarkets, chemists, health stores &
www.pregnacare.com www.nct.org.uk www.wellbeingofwomen.org.uk

Supersavers
Having a young child is an expensive business and kitting them out can cost
thousands of pounds. But never fear – help is at hand with NCT Nearly New Sales
Scenes from the
Southfields NNS
Nowadays, many of us are
looking for ways to tighten our belts,
which can be difficult when you’ve
got a growing child. NCT Nearly New
Sales (NNS) can be the perfect solution
– where else can you get top-quality
baby and children’s clothes plus toys
and equipment at bargain prices,
straight from their loving owners?
That’s the idea at least, but what is it
like in practice? We visited a recent
Southfields NNS and asked two mums
what they thought of the sales…
Catherine, Tariq and ASA
“I like to be a bit different
and creative with what
my baby wears”
NNS regular Catherine has been
taking part in the sales since her
eldest son Tariq, aged six, was a
small baby. She now
has another son Asa
who’s eight months,
and she’s still
bagging bargains…
“When I first
went to a NNS, I
hadn’t any close friends with kids so I
didn’t know what was available – it was
great to see what was out there. At the
NNS I could buy whatever I wanted and if
I made any mistakes it hadn’t broken the
bank. When Tariq grew out of his things I
sold them at one of the sales, though I
probably spent the proceeds on buying
more clothes and equipment for him!”
Something different
“The best thing about NNS is that it cuts
down on the quantity of consumables, and
raises money for the NCT. I prefer to buy
second-hand as I feel less guilty about
the amount of stuff that I buy and the
impact on the environment. I like the
fact that I can find all sorts of wonderful
things that people might have got
online or abroad and not just the
‘normal’ things you find on the high
street. I like to be a bit different and
creative with what my baby wears!
“I went to the Southfields sale
before I had Asa and I had a better
idea of what I wanted. Six years on,
there is a lot more on the market
and I was delighted to pick up an
electric baby swing – which has saved
NCT Activities
£
my sanity over the last few months as it
swings Asa to sleep with a lovely tune.”
Top Quality
“I have bought all sorts of things
from the NNS, from maternity equipment
and washable nappies to baby clothes
and toys. The quality of the items are
good as the sellers’ guidelines are
quite strict and I have never seen
something that I wouldn’t be happy
for my children to use.”
Laura and Daisy
“I always have a good time
and chat with people”
Laura has been to the last three sales and
has found them a great way to make some
extra money by recycling daughter Daisy’s
old clothes and toys.
“NNS are a fantastic way to recycle
perfectly good clothes and baby items
and make a few pounds. I know that all the
items are going to a good home. I’ve had
customers come up to me from previous
sales and say how happy they were with
everything they bought, which is nice.
“I really enjoy the
atmosphere too. I
always have a good
time and chat
with people. NNS
provide a great
opportunity
for me
to make
contact
with other
parents.”
FIND YOUR nearest nnS
Looking to grab some baby-friendly
bargains? You can search for your
nearest NNS by tapping in your
postcode on the NCT website.
Search today by visiting
nct.org.uk
Spring 2009 newgen magazine 13
 Family fun
See how you can raise funds for the NCT and have
a giggle in the process at a Cheeky Monkeys Tea Party
THE MuCH-ANTICIPATED CHEEKY A Cheeky Monkey’s Tea Party is a raised will, of course, continue to
Monkey’s Tea Party season is starting really great chance for parents to relax develop, create and deliver the early days
soon. Why not join in the simian silliness (to some extent) and children to have fun helpline. If you’d like more help and
by hosting a party of your very own? (guaranteed). There is also no limit to the information on holding an event,
Registering online at the NCT website kind of activities you decide on – you can email cheekymonkeys@nct.org.uk
will give you access to all manner of party be as creative and wacky as you want. Take a look at three examples of
paraphernalia, ensuring your event will NCT wants to make 2009’s round of just some of the parties that have
be an unforgettable and enjoyable family Tea Parties the best ever, but we can only taken place already, with useful tips
fundraising extravaganza! achieve that with your help. All the funds from the surviving organisers!

14 newgen magazine Spring 2009


Magical maze
Carol and Julie recently became co-chairs
of the Wirral branch. They wanted an exciting
party (pictured) to re-launch the branch
and raise some money in the process
“We wanted the party to have a good
family vibe, our choice of venue – the
Maize Maze – was perfect as it was not
only outdoorsy and packed with things to
do, but also very accessible as it was close
to the motorway junction. We created a
village fete feel by putting up bunting
around the refreshments kiosk and the reading tent. It looked great in
the barn with all the hay bales around. The weather was also a bonus as it
turned out to be such a fantastic day.
“We decided not to charge an entrance fee but to have a good mix of
paid and free activities. We charged £1 for activities such as the bouncy
castles, face painting, tombola and the Maize Maze, and had plenty of
free stuff like a colouring/craft area, Sing & Sign and Dancing Tots
sessions. We wanted people to come away feeling they’d had a great
time, not that they’d been fleeced. Having said that we wish we’d put a
bucket for donations in the car park – people were offering to pay and it
would have raised some extra funds.
“Most of the takings on the day were from refreshments, bouncy
castles and the maze. We sold raffle tickets before and during the event,
which was also successful as we had some very good prizes donated.
The cost of hiring the venue was paid for by selling tables to local
businesses so we had a mini baby fair inside the barn, and produced
a souvenir brochure (paid for by advertisers) that we gave out free to
every family attending.
“We advertised the event online with the local Netmums site and our
website. We also gave out flyers at our Nearly New Sale and at a baby
fair. The week before, we put up banners and posters on local roads.
“We have had some fantastic feedback from people who attended,
not just families, but also from the local businesses that came along.
We enjoyed it too. Next time, we’d start planning a bit earlier as things
got very hectic in the last few weeks. The party has got more people
excited by the branch and we’ve established some very useful contacts.
I think next time will be easier.”
Cheeky Monkeys
Raking it in
South Gloucestershire’s Alison
enjoyed a fundraising success
“We wanted to offer local parents a social event for all
the family. It was a really fun day and a great success
with around 50 families joining the fun. After the party,
we discovered that the money we raised made us one
of the top five fundraising branches.
“There was a rolling entertainment programme of
three performers: Hullabaloo Kids (sensory play and
singing), Talking Tots (language development play and
singing) and Music with Mummy (songs) along with
Barefoot Books doing some storytelling. We also had
baby reflexology and a photographer positioned in
the hall with a ‘mini-studio’. We ran our own craft
activity table, a tombola, face-painting for £2 a go,
and sold simple refreshments.
“We had a lot of support from local businesses; we
charged each one for a stall and also offered them the
chance of providing flyers to give to people as they
entered (charging £10 per flyer). The rest was easy,
just a matter of taking bookings and selling tickets
(£4 per family) in advance.
“I’d advise keeping your party simple and try to
make sure there’s a big open area (inside or out) for
children to run around in. Also, don’t underestimate
what local businesses such as supermarkets will offer
if you approach them (either vouchers to spend on
refreshments that you can then sell, or actual food
and drink). Be brave – if you don’t ask, you don’t get!”
Great goodbye
Caroline of the Malvern Hills
branch ran her party as a
parting gift to the NCT
“After being membership secretary for three years, I
decided to step down from my post in 2008. I chose to
organise our annual summer event under the umbrella
of a Cheeky Monkeys Tea Party. It was a thank you for
the fun and support that my son Oscar and I have
received since relocating to the Malvern Hills.
“We advertised the party by putting posters in shops,
leisure centres, schools and nurseries. Press releases
featured in the local newspaper as well as our branch
newsletter. We also relied on trusty word of mouth.
“The event was held in my local village hall. It looked
great decorated with brightly coloured balloons and
signage. I was amazed my how many local companies
wanted to help; Five Bridges Osteopath practice, Little
Dolphins swim school and Usborne books were more
that happy to donate the room hire charge.
“The party went without a hitch and I was elated by
the attendance and people’s goodwill.”
Spring 2009 newgen magazine 15
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Bumpy ride
NCT Member lucinda van der hart, describes the trials and tribulations
of a pregnant woman’s daily commute on the London underground
WHEN, AT 24 WEEKS AND THREE DAYS
pregnant, I was finally offered a seat on the
Tube I was absolutely delighted. It was as if
the day I had been waiting for throughout
my pregnancy had actually arrived. I know
this sounds dramatic but after struggling to
and from work in an ever-advancing state
of pregnancy, with no recognition from my
fellow travellers, I was overjoyed when
someone showed me some kindness.
As a regular London commuter I know
that Tube etiquette and pregnancy is a
potential minefield. I’m aware what it’s like
from the perspective of a non-pregnant
person. When you’re sitting on the Tube
bleary-eyed, at some ungodly hour, or
shattered after a long day in the office I
understand that the last thing on your
mind is whether there is a pregnant
passenger standing nearby.
on the rare occasion that she is there,
trying not to topple over, nobody wants to
be the one to offer her their seat. It’s not
because most commuters are mean, but
the nightmare scenario of someone
asking a woman if she would like to sit
down, only to discover that she was not
pregnant at all, just a bit overweight, is too
embarrassing to contemplate.
I never suspected that being pregnant
could make me such a grumpy traveller.
Every time someone buries their head
further into a newspaper – while I stand
next to them, out of breath and buckling
under the weight of my baby and handbag
– I can’t help thinking what a selfish,
seat-hogger they are.
Then there’s the ‘Baby on Board’
badge! I found out about these potentially
pride-saving labels in a less-than-desirable
way. When offered a seat, that I gratefully
accepted, a woman sitting next to me
inexplicably asked if I was pregnant. ‘I am’, I
replied, wondering if it wasn’t fairly obvious
as I had reached almost 26 weeks. ‘Well,
you shouldn’t expect to get a seat unless
you have a badge telling people you’re
pregnant,’ she exclaimed, adding, ‘You’re
very small, you know.’ ffeeling rather
incensed by the impromptu lecture, I
resolved never to buy a badge!
Although I am deeply grateful for equal
rights for women, I wish we could go back
to the days when men were chivalrous.
That way we could save a lot of aching
backs and swollen ankles – and maybe
even see a seated pregnant woman smile
on the Tube from time to time.
out and about
gOINg uNdERgROuNd
Lucinda is not alone; many
pregnant women feel overlooked
on their commute, as one
interesting survey revealed
A recent survey
carried out by
London
underground
highlighted a
number of issues
facing pregnant women travelling in the
Capital. The Mind the Bump report
discovered that more than two thirds of
pregnant women questioned cited rude
and discourteous behaviour as a source
of anxiety and stress during pregnancy.
one in three felt they had to avoid public
transport for fear of having to stand for
the duration of the journey, and one in
five spent more than £100 on taxis and
private vehicles during their pregnancy
to avoid standing on the Tube.
it was in response to this that London
underground launched ‘Baby on Board’
badges designed ‘to help women at all
stages of pregnancy feel more confident
in using the Tube and to make journeys
less awkward for pregnant women and
fellow passengers’.
The badges are available from
Transport for London’s Customer Service
Centre, or by calling 0845 330 9880 or
emailing babyonboard@tfl.gov.uk
WHAT’S YOuR STORY?
What is your experience of commuting
while pregnant? Did you encounter
any hostility from your fellow
passengers? We would love to hear
your story wherever you are.
Email us your account at
yoursay@nct.org.uk
Spring 2009 newgen magazine 17
Photography: Lucy Johnston

Sabina Iqbal with her two

children Samaira and Areeb

18 newgen magazine Spring 2009


Loud
clear
Mother, writer and founder of Deaf Parenting UK, Sabina Iqbal, on how the only
barrier for a deaf parent in bringing up two hearing children is the attitudes of others
A I was
t the moment life is a
rollercoaster ride for my
partner Asif and I. We’re both
deaf parents to two hearing
children, Samaira (31 months
old) and Areeb (nine months old). The
reason things are so hectic isn’t because
we’re deaf, nor is it due to having a small
baby and a very active toddler, but
because we’ve bagged seven awards
in the last two months for our voluntary
work with Deaf Parenting UK!
Being deaf parents was quite normal
for myself and Asif as we’ve been deaf
since birth. However, since deciding to
become parents access to services has
been one of the biggest challenges
we’ve had to face. It was fortunate that I
founded the charity Deaf Parenting UK.
This organisation aims to support and
give confidence to deaf parents in
getting information and services in an
accessible format, so I knew how to
get what I needed. I also wrote a book,
Pregnancy and Birth – a Guide for Deaf
Women, in association with the NCT,
and
very
well-informed
of the birthing
options and
choices
available
which was the first book in the
world targeted at deaf parents.
Although I wasn’t a parent while
researching for the book, I did get to
meet and interview many deaf parents.
It was the insight I gained from them
that helped me enormously when I fell
pregnant the first time. Their experiences
enabled me to be more confident in my
approach to health professionals and
exercising my right to have a British Sign
Parenting
Language (BSL) interpreter present at
all my antenatal appointments as well
as my birth.
Positive experience
My midwife was new to meeting deaf
parents but at my first antenatal
appointment I explained my needs
and expectations. I even gave her a
copy of my book, which includes a
section for health professionals with
useful deaf awareness tips.
My BSL interpreters were invaluable
during my pregnancies and births; I had
two during antenatal classes; the group
class was very comprehensive, involving
group discussion and it was impossible
for one interpreter to cope without
breaks. The class ensured that I was
well-informed of the birthing options
and choices available to me. I also had a
BSL interpreter at the birth.
Both my antenatal and postnatal
experience was extremely positive – the
staff at the birthing centre where I had
my two children were very supportive
Spring 2009 newgen magazine 19
 Parenting

The right signs

British Sign Language is the first/
preferred language for more then
80,000 deaf people in the UK.
Many hearing people also use
BSL, meaning it is used more
than Welsh or Gaelic.

Research shows that both hearing and

deaf babies benefit from sign language
before they learn to speak, as it reduces
frustration and enables them to
communicate their needs.
For deaf parents, it is best to
communicate in the language that is
comfortable for them. Don’t worry if
children, especially hearing ones, miss
out on sounds. Those hearing children
will pick up sounds from TV, radio and
outside the home in school/nursery.
They’ll pick up spoken language at
every opportunity in hearing/auditory
environments. It’s important for
Children of Deaf Parents (CODA)
reported that many children benefited Samaira to see that it’s
from sign language as the first language
to communicate with their deaf natural to have deaf parents
parents, whereas research showed that
if deaf parents attempted to speak to and deaf aware. I made an extra effort to We have a silent alert pager that alerts
their child (on advice from non-deaf meet them prior to the labour, making us of our baby crying and have two
aware professionals), the child will miss them aware of my needs. I was lucky, as pagers, one for each baby so we know
out on home language development I’ve known many deaf parents who have which one is crying. This, although bulky,
and attachment to their deaf parents. had experience of bad attitudes, little deaf is useful for identification.
awareness and a limited choice. The
Communicating with deaf midwife/health visitors were fully aware of Sound development
parents: advice for professionals my needs and looked at me face-to-face so As I mentioned earlier, both our children
For staff/professionals working I could lip-read. If further discussion was are hearing. Although we use BSL at
with deaf parents, it is vital to be aware needed, a BSL interpreter would be booked home, our families speak Urdu and
of their needs; communicate directly to meet our communication needs. English with them. Our daughter is
with them face to face and enable them tri-lingual and learning French once
to see your face when you speak. The The right response a week at nursery (which she loves).
onus is on service providers to book The obvious thing about being deaf is that We believed that it was essential for
BSL interpreters to enable deaf parents we are unable to hear crying or baby Samaira to start nursery as early as ten
to have the same access to your sounds. But we are visual, so we can tune months old to aid with her spoken
services, as any other parents. This is in in with our baby’s emotions visually, seeing language development.
line with the Disability Discrimination if they are upset, happy, sad or tired usually My background in social work, and
Act 1995/ 2000. it works for us. It takes time and practice to current position as team manager for
get used to each baby. Sensory Team, has meant I’ve supported
20 newgen magazine Spring 2009

Sabina makes sure she is tuned in to her children’s needs
many deaf parents with hearing children
to gain places at nursery, enabling
those children to gain the language
development that they would otherwise
lack. We felt it essential for Samaira’s
learning and overall progress that
she has the opportunity to meet and
socialise with other children in the
nursery. Our instinct was right; we
discovered how well Samaira did at
nursery and her language development
soared so steeply – she’s ever so chatty!
All staff at the nursery have been
fantastic. We were actually the first deaf
parents they have come across but
they have taken us through Samaira’s
development, explaining and gesturing to
us as well as using a communication book.
Some of them are even learning BSL so
they can continue using it with Samaira.
It’s important for Samaira to see that it’s
natural to have deaf parents in the same
way as having parents from a variety of
backgrounds, including cultural, religious
or combinations of them all. We are now
introducing Areeb to nursery and hope he
will develop just as happily.
Other parents have also been great, with
party invites galore for Samaira. I’m very
relieved as I have known many other
children of deaf parents who don’t get
invited to things because hearing people
do not know how to communicate with
the parents – it’s a shame because it’s the
children that miss out.
The future
My maternity leave is coming to an end
and like many parents, I have mixed
feelings about returning to work.
Financial necessity aside, it will be good
to get back to an adult environment after
a year with a baby and toddler. I know,
after my previous maternity leave with
Samaira, it will take six months to settle
back into the work routine and will be
exhausting in the first few months, so
I am a bit daunted at that prospect!
While our experiences as deaf parents
have been positive so far, this doesn’t
mean we won’t encounter some barriers.
When we do, we don’t make a big deal
out of it – why make it worse? Unless of
course, it has an impact on our children.
Help is at hand
Deaf Parenting UK is the first ever
charity and small organisation run
by deaf parents for deaf parents
and represents the needs of deaf
parents in the UK. The aims of
Deaf Parenting UK are:
• To enable confidence, empower
and support deaf parents and
deaf parents-to-be
• To highlight the gaps in UK services
and address those gaps
• To work with various organisations
including health, social services,
education, deaf and mainstream
parenting organisations to improve
access to information and services to
deaf parents.
Deaf Parenting UK has also worked
in partnership with the NCT by
commissioning an NCT antenatal
trainer for Deaf Parenting’s prenatal
course in Spring 2008. The classes
gave deaf parents the opportunity to
participate fully and exercise their
right to make informed choices.
For more information and resources
visit the website deafparent.org.uk
Pregnancy and Birth
- a Guide for Deaf Women
by Sabina Iqbal
Written for deaf
mothers and
mothers to be,
the book provides
clear information on
pregnancy and your
baby’s first few days.
£14.99
Available from nctshop.co.uk
or call 08458 100 100
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 Experiences

Baby steps
After the shock of becoming pregnant at just 16 years old, young mum
Chloe Morton is adjusting to her new life with the help of an NCT initiative

There are plenty of unfair

stereotypes surrounding teenage mums –
mainly generated by the popular press. We
wanted to look beyond the negative labels
and ask someone who is going through
the experience first hand, so we contacted
Choices – a Brighton-based NCT initiative
that helps young parents by providing
information and support throughout
pregnancy and the first few months of their
child’s life. We spoke to Chole Morton, one
of the mums who utilises its services.

Emotional rollercoaster
Chloe disproves the theory that teenage
mums are irresponsible – her pregnancy
came as a huge shock as she had been on
the pill. It was a rude awakening for the
16-year-old. “I was totally unprepared,”
says Chloe. “I never imagined I’d be in the
situation I am now – living on my own, with
a child and no support from the father.”
After giving birth to a healthy boy, Amari
Kye (which means ‘eternal beauty’), Chloe
briefly moved in with her father but, as time
went on, she realised that she and Amari
needed their own space. With no previous
experience of motherhood and still a child
herself, Chloe and her baby moved into
their own home – something she cites as
“the greatest challenge of her life”.
Becoming a parent brings enormous
changes – physically, emotionally and
socially. These changes are difficult
enough for people who’ve benefited from
the support of their partner and years of life
experience, Chole had to deal with this
alone at the age of 16. She is honest about
the reality of being a teenage mum: “It’s
been an emotional rollercoaster. I would
often dream about what it was going to be
like when Amari was born, but nothing
could prepare me. I just had to focus on
dealing with the situation.
“I lost most of my friends and I don’t get
much help. Nearly all of my time is spent
with my baby and I only get to go out on
I’ve met some really
good friends who’ve
provided me
with support
my own about once a month. I don’t have that these young mums, many of whom are
much money to get by on – it’s tough,” single, have a place to go and meet like-
minded people. It can be a very isolating
Support network experience so to be able to get out and
Shortly after giving birth, Chloe was learn about cooking, weaning and childcare
introduced to Choices and has found the while enjoying themselves is vital.”
sessions to be very valuable: “I’ve met some Although Chloe’s situation is not ideal,
really good friends who’ve provided me with she has remained positive and her outlook
a support network that I can rely on. We’re provides great hope for the future: “If my
all in a similar situation so to be able to meet child is happy then I’m happy.”
every week, share experiences and offer
each other advice, has been brilliant,” she What’s your story?
says. “If I’m worried about anything, I always Whether you are a younger or older
know I can discuss it at the meetings.” parent, the NCT aims to support you.
There is also a social side to the initiative If you’d like to share your experience
and the young mums are encouraged to go with other members, then we would
out and have fun such as enjoying ten-pin love to hear your story.
bowling or swimming trips together. Email us your account at
Alison Porges, who runs Choices in yoursay@nct.org.uk
Brighton and Hove, says “It’s so important
Spring 2009 newgen magazine 23
 Breastfeeding

mother
Watch with

The NCT is proud to premiere a new DVD that

aims to empower new mums from all over the
country to feel proud about breastfeeding

NCT staff were among those on
the ‘red carpet’ for the eagerly
anticipated premier of From Bump
to Breastfeeding – a 30-minute DVD,
which every pregnant woman in the
UK will receive for free, during their
antenatal period.
As the title suggests, the film tells
the story of the beginnings of pregnancy
to the vital stage of breastfeeding.
Photo: Courtesy of From Bumps to Breastfeeding
NCT Chief Executive, Belinda Phipps,
was very enthusiastic about the film’s
launch: “The NCT is delighted to have
been involved in the production of this
fantastic new resource for expectant
parents. From Bump to Breastfeeding
delivers all the helpful tips and information
that parents need. Indeed, it brilliantly
summarises a lot of what we have been
providing to parents for many years. Our
experienced breastfeeding counsellors
helped to produce the DVD and are always
available to provide parents with support,
so that they can have a positive experience
of breastfeeding. We are thrilled that every
expectant mother will get a copy.”
NCT Breastfeeding tutor Patricia Wise
also reviewed the DVD. She enthused:
“Over the past 50 years NCT workers have
encouraged and supported women to

The film was created by the charity
Best Beginnings, who received funding
from a number of health departments
– including the NHS and Department
of Health – and guidance from the NCT
throughout production.
The DVD will be distributed by
health departments and is available
to health professionals through the
usual channels.
breastfeed their babies – this DVD is a very
exciting development.”
Informative and realistic
The film is already proving to be very
popular with mums. Sarah Rollings, who
is mum to Rosie (six months), responded
very positively saying: “I thought the
film was informative and realistic about
Mums on film breastfeeding. It included real women’s

24 newgen magazine Spring 2009


Unlike England, in
Scotland, it’s illegal
to bar women from
breastfeeding their
babies in public.
One Scotland-based
mum, Georgia Reid,
tells us about her
experience of
breastfeeding her one-
year-old daughter Freya
NCT top tip* ‘A couple of Yellow Pages or another couple of
big books placed under your feet if you’re breastfeeding in a
chair gives you real support – it sounds really odd, but it works!’
stories and women from different
backgrounds, which is an effective
way of getting people to relate to
and understand that breastfeeding is
something they could do.
 “I cried when I was watching the
different experiences of people’s labours
(mine didn’t go exactly to plan). It was
interesting to see how each mum then
got on with breastfeeding. This is a really
important thing to include as different
labours may have different outcomes
with how people bond with their baby
and how they may then struggle with
breastfeeding. I don’t think this is
something that is very widely publicised
so I was pleased to see it tackled here.”
 The DVD even carries a celebrity
angle, with Arsenal forward Theo
Walcott’s 24 year old sister Hollie
“Breastfeeding is fab”
“The blue and white ‘Breastfeeding
Welcome’ stickers (pictured) that are on
most public buildings in Scotland help
a lot – they make it obvious that you’ll
receive no hassle.
“On the whole attitudes are good. I
was feeding Freya in the library near my
home in the West End of Glasgow, and a
male member of staff happened
to be passing and actually
stopped to ask me if I’d like a
glass of water! I thought that
was pretty impressive.
“Rolling out the blue and white
stickers in England would be a
positive step toward making it
clear that it is socially acceptable
to breastfeed your baby.
“I’m fairly boobs-out myself, but the ideal
situation would be that breastfeeding advice
and support from health professionals
would improve and become consistent
countrywide, so that breastfeeding became
the norm. I know the NCT is working to
achieve this. If this happened many more
mums would feel confident to feed
wherever they are were out and about.
appearing in the film with her two
children. Theo, whose mother is a
midwife, said, “I am very proud
of my sister for taking part.”
Breastfeeding
Give yourself time to establish
breastfeeding. Learning how to do it
takes patience and practice in the first
few weeks. It’s a bit like learning to ride
a bike! The NCT info centre is packed
with information on breastfeeding; from
looking after your nipples to support
from dads and friends and family.
If you’re having problems or are in
pain, speak to an NCT breastfeeding
counsellor on our Breastfeeding
Line – 0870 444 8708,
8am – 10pm any day of
the week.
“I’ve never come across any negative
comments when feeding Freya in public. I
actually get more irritated by friends and
family. I’m often asked ‘Are you still feeding
her yourself?’ ‘How long are you going to
feed her for?’ ‘You’ll be wanting to wean her
off now?’ The answers are becoming more
terse: yes, as long as she wants, and no.
“I find it sad that I’m viewed as a
freak when I’m doing the easiest
thing for me and the best for Freya.
“Breastfeeding is fab – I feel so
bonded to Freya and we’re very
close. I know that not only can I
provide her food myself (of course,
she does eat some solids now as
well), but I can also calm her down, make her
feel better if she falls over, get her to sleep
easily, quench her thirst and give her
some valuable attention if she’s getting
overwhelmed. No need for a dummy, bottle,
potions etc. That makes you feel pretty
strong and confident as a mother. Also, I lost
my baby weight and bump very quickly –
although sadly, months of sitting around
drinking cappuccino and eating muffins
has put some back on!”
To see the film for yourself go online
at bestbeginnings.info/video. After
you’ve watched it, tell us what
you think by emailing Newgen on
newgeneditor@nct.org.uk
Spring 2009 newgen magazine 25
24 newgen magazine Spring 2009

Star qualities
The NCT believe in midwife-led care before, during and after the birth of your
child, and we want to make sure that, in the future, this high-level of treatment is
available, as standard, nationwide. So, what do parents need from their midwife?
Empathy and
understanding
“Today’s family usually only has two
or three children so people are not
brought up surrounded by babies.
Therefore the perfect midwife would
understand that, although it may
be the 10,000th baby that she’s
delivered, it could well be the first one
that the mother has ever held, let
alone looked after.” Susan Dinmore,
Byfleet & District. (SD)
“A midwife is someone who is able
to build relationships quickly and
engender trust. Someone who
understands how to work in a way
that suits their clients, so that those
who have disadvantages – be they
young, poor, disabled, with limited
education or in an unusual situation
– feel able to make use of their help.
A good midwife will listen to a mother
and understand her worries and
darkest fears, helping her find a way
to overcome them. She will inspire
confidence in women to give birth
and communicate with the baby’s
dad too.” Belinda Phipps, NCT Chief
Executive. (BP)
“I’d like the father’s feelings to be
taken into consideration. I was made
to feel ‘in the way’ at my son’s birth
and got the strong impression that the
midwife resented my presence. I’m
not one of these men who wanted to
be macho about being at the birth, but
I’ve been with my partner for 14 years
and, as the only person who knew her,
I wanted to be there for her. Gone are
the days when the bloke would stay
at the pub or pace around outside the
delivery room – as a caring partner
I’d have liked to have been able to
provide some useful support.” Ian
Rankine, London.
Empowering
“Midwives need to be able to put
across evidence-based information
in a way that parents can understand
and use to make their decisions.” BP
“A midwife should help women to
identify their options and empower
them to achieve the birth they want.
She should talk about safety not risk
and treat all women as the individuals
they are.” Michelle Barnes, Sheffield,
sheffieldbirthdoula.com. (MB)
“I got quite big during my second
pregnancy – our daughter weighed-
in at 12lbs – and lots of people were
urging me to have a caesarean, which
I really didn’t want to do. My midwife
supported me in my decision to have
the birth that I wanted. I wish all mums
could have that valuable backing.”
Emma Timpson, Cumbria.
One to one
“I’d like to see the Independent
Midwives Association (IMA) NHS
Community Midwifery Model of care
implemented across the UK. This is
where the woman chooses her own
midwife and that same midwife will
then support and care for her during
pregnancy, birth and the postnatal
period. This would give women the
continuity of care that is required to
make birth a safer and more satisfying
experience.” MB
“Midwives are teachers as well as
nurses. It can take a long time to learn
certain things and surely children are
the most complicated of all. One-on-
one guidance with your midwife is a
definite must.” SD
Midwives
“It would be great if, in the future, a
midwife would stay with the mother
throughout the labour. We built-up
such a level of trust with our ‘first’
midwife during my wife’s labour,
only for her to leave when my wife
only had an hour to go! This was, at
best, odd. We have friends who had
an independent midwife with them
throughout the whole process – we’ll
do this for any future children we
have.” Tom Berwick, Colchester.
Action wife
“A midwife should be passionate
about her work and always willing to
go the extra mile.” MB
“A midwife should be able to
orchestrate other public services
to meet the needs of the families
they are supporting. She should be
proactive and skilled enough to know
when it’s time to call on the help of
others, be it a doctor, a social worker
or the housing dept. She’s someone
who, within the NHS, can persuade
their unit to have homely, suitable
rooms and policies that work for the
users.” BP
“A good midwife is a proactive one.
With my second child, I reacted really
badly to the morphine tablets after my
caesarean. After passing out for a third
time, the midwife badgered the doctor
until he gave me some different
painkillers – within 30 minutes I was
up and about.” SD
 experiences

Getting into Rugby

NCT member Simone Costello reflects on the literally ‘moving’ experience
of parenthood, which resulted in her relocating from London to Warwickshire
THE CLICHé IS TRuE; HAVINg A BABY IS
a life-changing experience. Once you’ve
got that new little person in your life –
who is completely dependent on you
– the phrase ‘looking after number one’
takes on a different meaning and the
path that you once planned out for
yourself goes in a totally new direction.
ffor both myself and my partner, things
started to take an exciting new course as
soon as I went on maternity leave. He and I
had spent our ‘youth’ having fun, studying
for our degrees and chasing professions in
journalism. After all that, getting pregnant
was the best 40th birthday present I could
wish for. from that moment onwards my
partner and I were thinking of building a
family not climbing the career ladder.
After lots of research into pregnancy and
birth, we decided to join the NCT and attend
antenatal classes. It was a great decision – I
met some really nice people and benefited
from their advice and support.
My NCT membership really inspired me
so I started to volunteer for Waltham forest
f to London, with good schools and
NCT (East London) as a newsletter co-
editor and got involved in the local branch.
Volunteering was great for me as I could
use my skills for charity, meet more
people and keep my brain engaged
both pre and post birth.
When my baby, Michela, was nine
months old I was still at home. I didn’t feel
ready to go back to work as she was still
breastfeeding. My partner, who is self-
employed, also made sure he had time off
between projects to be with Michela.
As well as the emotional impact of
becoming a parent I was astonished at the
very dramatic change in our physical
environment – after having a baby our
home appeared to shrink by the day. If that
wasn’t enough there is baby stuff as far as
the eye can see, the laundry basket is
overflowing and toys are taking over
all the floor space.
Just after Michela’s first birthday we put
our house on the market. our lovely home
that we had enjoyed so much, pre-Michela,
had proved to be unsuitable for raising a
child and the hard-landscaped garden with
huge pond was a hazard.
We wanted to live in a commutable town
with a good quality of life, excellent schools
and a lively community. We borrowed travel
books on English counties from the library
Thanks and started researching locations on the
internet. We even looked at Google Earth
to the satellite images of various locations! I also
posted a message on the NCT Editors’
NcT I’ve forum requesting members to suggest
good locations and, to my delight, I
met many people received many friendly and useful emails.
Eventually we settled on Rugby in
in rugby already Warwickshire. It’s just about commutable
and I’m getting affordable property prices.
involved with the After exchanging contracts on our
house, we found a property to rent in
community Rugby and I contacted the local NCT.
I received a warm welcome and the
newsletter as soon we arrived.
Thanks to the NCT I’ve met many people
in Rugby already and I’m getting involved
with the community by helping with the
newsletter and breastfeeding café.
I’ve now set up my own website, started
Rugb
Rugby
Rugby
trying to get work as a freelance writer and
London
proofreader and I am still looking after
London Michela. It may not be the best of times to
start a business, but we are happy to have
found a place we can call home.

Coming up in newgen In our next issue we’ve got another photo competition,
illustration: greta dickman

an exclusive interview with World Champion swimmer Karen Pickering, who is pioneering
a scheme to get more babies in the water, a look at how pregnant women and babies are
represented through popular culture, plus stories about a working mum, parents with
autistic children and pregnancy while looking after teenagers.

34 newgen magazine Spring 2009