1

2


S
THE SURGO TEAM
FJitor in Cbief
}osh Nielsen
Assistont FJitor
}ames Taujkaiimi*
Iinonce FJitor
Lucy Waite
ProJuction FJitor
Katie Lunn
Arts FJitor
Tom Bauueley
Contributinq Writer,Cryptoqropber
Ella Bennett
THE SURGO CONTENTS
4 FJitoriol & PresiJents AJJress
S SNlHS Report
6 Eomelessness in 6losqow
8 HeJicine 0f Yesteryeors
9 lm Breominq 0f A Sbite Cbristmos
1u 20 Cbristmos Iocts
12 7 Woys Tbe WorlJ CoulJ FnJ
14 Cbristmos Recipes!
16 CrossworJ & Puzzles
Cover pboto -
"!"#$%&'()*+(,-)%."
Pboto by }essico Eoll.
Concept by Tom BoJJeley.
Iormottinq,foffinq orounJ
by }osb Nielsen.
*}ames uoes not have Facebook to get
pictuies fiom, anu is theiefoie a ieinueei


4
Merry Christmas everyone!
Hope youre enjoying the festive
season, with mince pies and mulled
wine, reruns of Elf and Love Actually,
and looking forward to a few weeks of
peace away from the SL.
The first term of the year is always the
busiest and this year has definitely
been no different. As usual the Freshers got stuck in with their
Integration Night, swiftly followed by a great turnout at the
Welcome Back Ceilidh and Beer Olympics.
But in this year of great sporting achievements, while Mighty Mo
and golden girl Jess got the medals, the true highlight came the
last weekend in October, when 500 odd medics descended on
Glasgow for the Scottish and Northern Irish Sports Tournament.
Frisbee, netball, football, hockey, rugby and basketball players all
battled it out, keen to show the other unis how its done,
especially Edinburgh of course. After we showed them the
delights of various parts of Glasgow, including some local fire
starters out in Drumchapel, we congregated back in the West
EDITORIAL
!"##$ &'( )"#*$+" ,"-./0" 1"&("1-2 .$ .3/-2
.3" 431/-.+&- 5(/./$' $, 6718$9
If you hate Chiistmas, you'ie in luck this yeai, as it may be the
last one evei. This of couise is not uue to some uiinch-esque
Santa kiunapping, but iathei the fact an ancient civilization's
calenuai ian out aiounu now. Bespite the Nayans failing to see
theii own extinction at the hanus of Spanish guns anu syphilis
1
,
some peoplenut cases believe they hau a bettei iuea about oui
own futuies, oi lack theieof. Now in the meuia inuustiy this
woulu usually be bau news foi ieaueis but goou news foi
jouinalists - most newspapeis know that feai is the one of the
biggest selleis (along with moial outiage anu bieasts - foi an
example, see any copy of The Sun) But heie at Suigo, we take
the attituue that if the woilu shoulu enu this yeai, you'u want to
have hau the best Chiistmas evei - anu in that iegaiu Suigo is
heie to help:
Aits Euitoi Tom Bauueley investigates the giowing pioblem of
homelessness anu those tiying to help in ":$ ;$$+ <. =3"
>''? !$+"#"--'"-- >' @#&-8$)".
Katie Lunn gives us a glimpse of uoctoiing a centuiy ago, with a
glossaiy of antique uefinitions in "A"(/*/'" $, B"-."1C"&1",
while Lucy Waite uelves into some of the moie tiaumatic


memoiies of hei fellow stuuents in ">D+ E1"&+/'8 F, < 63/."
431/-.+&-G"
Resiuent moou killei }ames Taujkaiimi anu myself piophesize
the vaiious ways the final show might go uown in "H I&C- =3"
I$1#( 4$7#( 5'( JK7. L1$M&M#C I$'D.N". Anu aftei that,
shoulu you be stiuggling to impiess at youi Chiistmas paity,
FEAR N0T - youi faithful euitoi shall be seiving you a Stephen
Fiy's woith of inteiesting facts with which to uazzle anu
enteitain youi contempoiaiies.
Some of the Wolfson's well known faces seive us up theii
favouiite Chiistmas iecipes in "Come PBL With Ne".
Anu lastly, contiibuting wiiteiiiuulei Ella Bennett pioviues us
with some infuiiating puzzles to while away the wintei
evenings.
We hope you enjoy this Chiistmas Euition of Suigo, anu clichu
though it is, wish you a meiiy Chiistmas anu a Bappy New Yeai!
}osh Nielsen,
Suigo Euitoi
THE PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
End for dinner and awards, and for the news that Glasgow are the
SNIMS 2012 champions! Big congratulations to everyone involved,
lets make sure we keep the trophy next year!Soon after SNIMS
came this years sell-out MedChir Annual Ball, with everyone
donning their kilts, tuxes and fantastic dresses, for a glamorous
night of food, wine and dancing galore at Arta, with those surviving
making it on to the Corinthian. Hope you all enjoyed the evening,
got a shot at the ice sculpture (literally) and didnt lose too much at
the casino!
Last week we had our joint research night with the Incorporation of
the Barbers, highlighting the research work many of our students fit
in between their studies congratulations to the winner Jenny
Ferguson! Before long the snow was arriving and Santa hats and
reindeer antlers were being brought out, ready for our Christmas
Party to get you all in the festive spirit.
And with that Ill leave you all for another term, have a great
holiday and come back rested and raring for the Scrubby,
Valentines Day and Revue to name just a few of the things coming
up next term!
Sophie Hodgson, Medchir President 2012-13
1 - Befinite potentiol olbum nome tbere.


S
I/.3 the 0lympics a uistant memoiy, ulasgow meuical
school steppeu up to host the spoiting event of 2u12,
SNINS; a full weekenu ueuicateu to spoit anu a few othei
"extiacuiiiculai" activities that piobably won't get
mentioneu on the Cv. Almost 8uu stuuents fiom the finest
meuical schools of Noithein Iielanu anu Scotlanu (plus a
mob fiom Bunuee) uescenueu on ulasgow, all with the
common aim of taking home the infamous SNINS tiophy.
This was the ulasgow stuuents uoing theii bit of chaiity
woik, allowing otheis fiom unueipiivilegeu meuical
schools a tantalising taste of the goou life heie in ulasgow.
O$1 some fiesheis, this was the fiist taste of SNINS
action; an eye openei to the goluen oppoitunities that life
as a ulasgow meuic offeis. Foi final yeais, this was the last
shot at gloiy, anu the last chance to act in ways that we
hope the uNC nevei finu out about. That is, unless they fail
finals, which comes with the oppoitunity of one moie
SNINS. Eveiy clouu.
A$-. teams aiiiveu on the Fiiuay evening, apait fiom
Queens, who weie suitably anu steieotypically pisheu
when they aiiiveu eaily afteinoon. Euinbuigh ueciueu not
to come 'til Satuiuay-something to uo with Bauuy's
chauffeui having piioi engagements. Aftei some team
bonuing, inteivaisity "netwoiking" anu geneial "gettin'
yaluae" on the Fiiuay night at one of ulasgow's cultuial
hubs (The uaiage), the spoit was of a suipiisingly high
quality on the Satuiuay. Spiiits weie also high, as I'm suie
weie spiiit levels in the majoiity of the paiticipants
ciiculating bloou. Basketball, hockey, football, netball,
iugby anu ultimate fiisbee (that is not a mispiint, it is
contioveisially still consiueieu a spoit) weie all competeu
foi at vaiious locations acioss ulasgow. Bespite oui
best effoits, all the Euinbuigh stuuents negotiateu the way to
the hockey pitches in Biumchapel unscatheu. No knife
attacks, but appaiently a lot of spooning went uown.
<. the enu of the uay, ulasgow stoou victoiious oveiall-much
to the uismay of Euinbuigh anu Bunuee, the winneis of
iecent yeais. Almost moie impiessively, Queen's uiun't finish
last.
<,."1 the spoit, all the teams hau a tiauitional ulasgow
cuiiy at the QN0, befoie a final night of fancy uiess (anu
consiueiable cioss-uiessing) in the theme of "Faiiytales anu
nuiseiy ihymes" at the othei cultuial hub of ulasgow-the
institution that is the BIvE. 0nsuipiisingly, Abeiueen
manageu to finu an excuse to uiess as sheep, anu the iugby
boys founu an excuse to weai obscenely tight clothing moie
commonly founu in the female changing iooms of piimaiy
schools acioss the countiy. The spoiting theme of the
weekenu continueu late into the night, with boat iacing,
ihythmic uanceflooi gymnastics anu even some impioviseu
equestiianism into the eaily houis foi a lucky few. Theie aie
iepoits that a few oveily keen stuuents also uiscoveieu why
it is calleu the ulasgow coma scale. When in Rome.
F0"1&##, eveiybouy involveu iepoiteu what a biilliant
weekenu they hau, anu theie have not been any ueaths
iepoiteu yet, ensuiing this will go uown as one of, if not the,
best SNINS in living memoiy. 0nfoitunately, all goou things
must come to an enu, anu next yeai we will be looking foi a
numbei of chaiity minueu inuiviuuals to give up anothei
weekenu of theii time anu visit the thiiu woilu uistiict of
Abeiueen to help ietain oui tiophy.
<'( foi the iecoiu, still nobouy likes Bunuee.
*Also a special mention on behalf of eveiyone involveu foi
the iiuiculous amount of effoit anu time put in by Bex anu
}osh in oiganising SNINS. It woulu not have
been the success it was without them.*

SNIMS Report by Rebecca Orr & Phil Murlane


6
>' .3" #&-. C"&12 P2QRR 3$+"#"--
&SS#/*&./$'- )"1" +&(" .$ @#&-8$)
4/.C 4$7'*/#2 +&T/'8 /. MC ,&1 .3"
3/83"-. '7+M"1 /' 6*$.#&'(G
Bespite it being a ieuuction fiom the
pievious yeai this is still a seiious
pioblem.
S0Ru0 was lucky enough to talk to
Fiona NcQuaige, a meuical stuuent
who oiganises the ulasgow 0niveisity
Seivice to the Bomeless (u0SB) on
Satuiuay nights.

Suigo: So Fiona, how anu why uiu you
get involveu with u0SB.
FN: "Ei, l qot involveJ bosicolly
becouse l wonteJ to Jo sometbinq in
my free time. l first joineJ obout S
yeors oqo before it wos ossocioteJ witb
tbe SRC onJ just boJ tbe niqbts on
TuesJoy onJ WeJnesJoy. lt wos
onotber meJicol stuJent wbo set up
tbe SoturJoy niqbt service first onJ
tben oskeJ tbe SRC for support, wbicb
tbey were boppy to qive."

01*'. ,$2.3 $4 %".,&.#.3
(++*''*3(&$*4 (43 *&".#%
(#. #.+.4&,- "*'.,.%%56

S: Ah ok, what kinu of suppoit uo they
give.
FN: "All tbe fooJ onJ Jrinks ore kept in
tbe kitcben in tbe }obn Hclntyre
builJinq onJ on tbe niqbt, tbe
volunteers qotber it oll onJ qet toxis to
CoJoqon Street in tbe city centre,
wbere we set it up."

S: What kinu of foou is pioviueu.
FN: "We spenJ obout 1S on cokes,
biscuits onJ bot Jrinks onJ someone
olso mokes some sonJwicbes to qive
out on tbe SoturJoy. Horks onJ




Spencers Jonote tbeir left over
sonJwicbes to Fmmous for tbe
TuesJoy onJ WeJnesJoy kitcbens.
Also tbe Centrol Hosque bos just
storteJ proviJinq bot fooJ to tbe
weekJoy kitcbens, wbicb is reolly
qooJ!"

S: What kinu of people uo you get
coming in.
FN: "A few requlors onJ some new
foces, mostly men becouse women tenJ
to biJe owoy o bit more. Some live in
sbeltereJ occommoJotion onJ otbers
ore recently bomeless. l bove noticeJ o
rise in people ottenJinq tbe kitcben
tbouqb in tbe lost S yeors, probobly
becouse of tbe recession."

07 "(2. 4*&$+.3 ( #$%. $4
).*),. (&&.43$48 $4 &". ,(%&
9 -.(#%: )#*;(;,- ;.+(<%. *=
&". #.+.%%$*456
S: Is it safe foi the volunteeis.
FN: "Yeob it is qenerolly sofe, most of

As weoltb inequolities rise ocross tbe 0K onJ tbe recession bits incomes onJ support, bomelessness is o problem tbot is only set
tbe people ore sober onJ come to just
bove some fooJ onJ tben leove oqoin.
Sometimes ploin clotbeJ police officers
come to qive oJvice. Tbe volunteers
bove strict rules, sucb os not qivinq
your number to onyone."

S: What uo you enjoy most about it.
FN: "lve been Joinq it for so lonq tbot
you qet to know tbe requlors onJ
become frienJs. l often beor success
stories os well. lts olso o nice tbinq to
Jo on o SoturJoy niqbt."

S: Bow can people get involveu.
FN: "60SE is tbe most populor
volunteer proqrom run by tbe SRC onJ
obout 20-40 volunteers turn up eocb
niqbt. Tbe qooJ tbinq obout it is you
only neeJ to complete on opplicotion
form onJ os we ore not workinq witb
cbilJren, you Jont neeJ to fill out o
Pv6 form eitber."
Anyone interested in volunteering with
GUSH, for more information visit
http://www.src.gla.ac.uk/volunteer/gush
Or, email: volunteer@src.gla.ac.uk
!" $""% &' ()* +,,-


7
Bomelessness Chaiities In ulasgow
Being homeless is especially uifficult uuiing the wintei, wheie the
shoitei uays anu coluei nights piesent auuitional uangeis to an alieauy
hazaiuous life. Theiefoie it is especially impoitant to have sleeping
bags, hot foou, waim clothing anu sheltei, which these seivices pioviue:
=3" @#&-8$) I/'."1 :/83. 63"#."1 U It openeu at 1upm on 2
nu

Becembei anu is open thioughout the wintei. Run by volunteeis anu
peimanent staff it houses 2Su people anu pioviues mats, sleeping bags
anu hot snacks uuiing the woist wintei months. It is situateu on
NcAlpine Stieet, in the city centie.
=3" @#&-8$) 6/+$' 4$++7'/.C - The uSC has been woiking anu
pioviuing foi homeless men anu women in ulasgow foi 4u yeais. Theii
woik encompasses issues of auuiction, mental health, employability anu
volunteeiing.
@#&-8$) V'/0"1-/.C 6"10/*" .$ .3" !$+"#"-- - u0SB offeis stuuents a
chance to help homeless people living on the stieets of ulasgow by
pioviuing hot uiinks anu biscuits. They woik eveiy Tuesuay anu eveiy
othei Weunesuay with Emmaus ulasgow anu on Satuiuays as a stuuent-
leu volunteei gioup.
."%*/*00,*00 +, 1/203"4
Some words from the Editor :
Shelter Scotland
Foi those of you who uon't know oi haven't heaiu of them, Sheltei is a chaiity that woiks to alleviate the pioblems
anu uistiess causeu by homelessness anu pooi housing. Sheltei uoes this not only by woiking on the giounu, giving
auvice anu auvocacy to people in housing neeu oi facing eviction, but also by campaigning foi lasting political change
to enu the housing ciisis - a ciisis which uoes not have to exist if we choose not to let it.
Though the oiiginal impetus foi Sheltei's founuation came fiom the slums of the 196us, its woik is still veiy much
ielevant anu neeueu touay. The iecession has leu to moitgages becoming incieasingly unaffoiuable anu less social
housing being built when moie people aie in neeu of it, as they face being unable to buy theii own homes.
Consequently, moie people anu families aie living in ienteu accommouation, wheie they aie fai moie vulneiable to
exploitation anu evictions, anu so in neeu of the kinu of auvocacy Sheltei helps pioviue.
Sheltei's woik even holus ielevance foi stuuents, as it was fiom Sheltei I founu out that #"../'8 ,""- &1" /##"8&# /'
6*$.#&'(. The letting agents foi my cuiient flat tiieu to chaige us them, but knowing they weie illegal we
thieateneu to take them to small claims couit to ieclaim if they uiu, anu the letting agents simply uioppeu, so thank
you Sheltei foi that extia 1uu.
You can suppoit Sheltei by uonating to oi shopping in theii stoies (theie's one on uieat Westein Roau), buying youi
lunch fiom the special N&S iange with Sheltei logos on the packets, oi simply getting involveu with campaigning anu
volunteeiing, uetails of which aie all available at www.scotlanu.sheltei.oig.uk
to qet worse. Arts FJitor =$+ K&(("#"C tells us o bit obout tbe situotion in 6losqow, onJ some of tbe people tryinq to belp.

6orJon HcHillon, o bomeless mon wbo
wos intervieweJ by tbe Boily RecorJ ofter
be wos JiscovereJ to be sleepinq in o
roilwoy briJqe S0ft over tbe ClyJe.


8
4 /, ,$1GGG
4W>A<4=5;>4 >:6<:>=B? Bisoiuei of the sexual
functions in the female is a common symptom in all
foims of insanity, but in climacteiic insanity the sexual
changes aie not meiely a symptom, but piobably foim
the basis of the mental uisoiuei. At the menopause the
inuiviuual unueigoes piofounu change mentally anu
physically, anu in a peison pieuisposeu to insanity the
iesult may be uisastious. Sexual peiveisions anu
jealousy aie not uncommon.
4;5=>:>6A? A conuition of iuiocy aiising fiom
enuemic causes, associateu with impeifect
uevelopment anu uefoimity of the whole bouy.
E /- ,$1GGG
E>L6FA<:>< - A moial insanity, chaiacteiiseu by
an iiiesistible uesiie to expeiience the sensations
piouuceu by the physiological action of alcohol upon
the neivous system.
5 /- ,$1GGG
546=<6B: The subjects of ecstatic phenomena aie
commonly of the female sex, oi aie men who leau
celibate anu ascetic lives. To such inuiviuuals they aie
in the piesent uay almost confineu. Women who aie
the subject of this moibiu state aie usually single,
fiequently piesent menstiual iiiegulaiities, anu often
uistinct eviuence of hysteiia, of which the ecstatic
conuition may be but a pait. It is especially among
negio tiibes in contact with moie civiliseu white iaces
that the most conspicuous foims of ecstatic uisease
have been obseiveu.
5L>W5L=>4 >:6<:>=B: Nental uisoiuei which is
the outcome of the epileptic neuiosis, anu which is
geneially, though not invaiiably, accompanieu by
motoi epilepsy.
5;F=FA<:><: Insanity chaiacteiiseu by excessive
sexual excitement; sometimes symptomatic of ceiebial
lesions, sometimes of uisoiuei in the iepiouuctive
oigans.
@ /- ,$1GGG
@5:5;<W L<;<WB6>6 FO =!5 >:6<:5? A
uisease of the neivous system especially affecting the
biain; chaiacteiiseu by piogiessive geneialiseu loss of
powei anu sensation, associateu with geneial failuie
of nutiition anu piogiessive mental ueteiioiation
enuing in uementia. Causes: (1) Nale sex, (2) Age ovei
Su (S) Beieuity (4) Naiiiage (S) Stienuous occupation
(6) Beau injuiies (7) Bwelleis in towns (8) Syphilis (9)
Alcoholic excess (1u) Sexual Excess (11) Sunstioke (12)
Leau poisoning.
! /- ,$1GGG
!B6=5;><? Its use is best iestiicteu to a conuition of
the neivous system faiily uefineu, but the intimate
pathology of which is not known, chaiacteiiseu by the
occuiience of convulsive seizuies as well as othei
numeious anu peiplexing symptoms. The female sex is
much moie pione to the affection. Causes incluue: (1)
Luxuiy, (2) Ill-uiiecteu euucation, (S) 0nhappy
suiiounuings (4) Celibacy wheie not of choice (S)
0nfoitunate maiiiages.
> /- ,$1GGG
>E>F4B? Nental ueficiency occuiiing uuiing infancy
anu the eaily peiious of life anu uepenuent upon
impeifect uevelopment of the biain, whethei uue to
tiansmitteu qualities, injuiy,malnutiition oi uisease.
W /- ,$1GGG
WV:<=>4? A uesignation given to peisons suffeiing
fiom mental uisoiuei, because such subjects weie
foimeily believeu to be peculiaily affecteu by lunai
influences. The legal ielations of the woiu aie
impoitant.
A /- ,$1GGG
A<6=V;K<=>F:? The excitement of the sexual
oigans by unnatuial means.Theie is no uoubt that the
piactice of mastuibation leaus to the most seiious
constitutional effects. These aie especially manifesteu
in the neivous system. The functions of the heait aie
uistuibeu, uigestion is uisoiueieu. Theie is geneial loss
of health anu stiength; anu chionic hypochonuiiasis is
set up.
L /- ,$1GGG
L!<:=FA =VAFV;? A peculiai enlaigement of
the abuomen, occuiiing in females belonging to the
hysteiical class. It is supposeu by the patient to be an
actual tumoui, oi to be uue to piegnancy, but it can be
maue at once to uisappeai by placing hei unuei the
influence of chloiofoim.
= /- ,$1GGG
=<;<:=>6A? An epiuemic uancing mania, pievalent
in Italy in the sixteenth anu seventeenth centuiies,
oiiginating in feai of the bite of the taiantula,as a
iemeuy foi which the uance was auopteu.
The Medicine Of Yesteryears
We oll know meJicine useJ to be procticeJ somewbot Jifferently in Joys qone by, but its rore to see reol eviJence of bow mucb
botb science onJ ottituJes bove cbonqeJ. luckily for us, ProJuction FJitor Kotie lunn monoqeJ to trock Jown just some sucb
proof, in tbe form of 0><($4?% @$+&$*4(#- *= A.3$+$4.: 9#3 B3$&$*4: B3$&.3 ;- C5 A*4(&(8<. A<##(- A@: DE!F5 GHIJ". We
proviJe bere some cboice excerpts from tbis enliqbteninq tome, to bopefully moke you tbonkful tbis Cbristmos, tbot even if you
sboulJ foll sick, ot leost youre not sick in 1902.


9
Im Dreaming Of
A Shite Christmas
by Lucy Waite
Tis' the season to be jolly anu all that but aftei about the age of about 1u it becomes appaient that not all is
iosy anu nice. I love Chiistmas an offensive amount but even I can aumit the cocktail of emotions anu Baileys
is a uangeious one. Noney, ielatives, basting anu bau ioaus make the Chiistmas season testing at times.
Bowevei what is lost in buint tuikey anu awkwaiu family is maue up by the camaiaueiie of shaiing such
stoiies afteiwaius. The following is a collection of tales fiom youi fellow stuuents on theii woist Chiistmas
"Baving to take the uog to the vets to
get its stomach pumpeu on Chiistmas
uay. She hau eaten the whole tuikey
iaw anu coulun't stanu up because hei
belly was so swollen."
"Ny fiienus' uog uieu on Chiistmas eve
fiom an unuiagnoseu heait conuition.
They hau just got him fiom a iescue centie
anu appaiently all the love anu
attention maue him so exciteu his heait
gave out... uotta be iough"
(Eu's note - intentional pun.)
"0pening my Seciet Santa
piesent, which was a key-
iing fiom my oluei sistei. I
spent 1S which was the
uesignateu amount, anu
she spent S on a luxuiy
key iing. Lolz."
"Ny mum once kickeu my
uau in the face on
Chiistmas. Not in a
uomestic abuse way oi
anything - she was weaiing
slippeis anu a 0nesie, anu
it wasn't veiy haiu, but still,
it biought the moou uown."
"0ne Chiistmas, I was getting a
mouel of the Nillennium Falcon as
my main piesent. I coulu see it unuei
the tiee, anu obviously I ieally wanteu
to open it but my mum tolu me I hau to
wait anu open it with eveiyone else. I woke
up befoie eveiyone else on Chiistmas Bay,
anu the temptation was too much. I hau a
gieat half houi of playing befoie my mum
woke up anu confiscateu it foi the iest of
the holiuays."
"We weie having Chiistmas uinnei with
the whole extenueu family at my uian's
house. Ny Aunty hau been feeling a bit
unwell but thought she'u be fine to eat.
0nfoitunately, she'u sat in a coinei, with 4
people each way between hei anu the exit,
so when she hau to thiow up miuway
thiough the main couise, the vomit coulu
only go one way - ovei the plate anu table.
Put eveiyone iight off theii tuikey. "
"Went to the pub Chiistmas eve,
went home with a ianuom guy,
enueu up having to stay foi
Chiistmas lunch the next
uay with his whole family.
Still in uiess anu heels."
"This coming Chiistmas may
actually be the woist, oi most
memoiable., as my biothei's
biinging his boyfiienu to
Chiistmas uinnei, anu my
gianupaients uon't know he's
gay. I uon't think they will be big
fans."
"0ne yeai I ueciueu to buin my Chiistmas list
on the fiie in an attempt at putting it up the
chimney. Being a total biat I ueciueu I uiun't
want to tell my paients what was on it anu
uiun't get what I wanteu foi Chiistmas. Bence
finuing out Santa wasn't ieal when I was 4."


1u
Chiistmas as a concept is pietty weiiu. Not the giving piesents to people we love pait - that's quite
Chiistmas that's stiange, all the bizaiie tiauitions anu iituals that have built up ovei the centuiies as
uiffeient cultuies anu beliefs its incoipoiateu as its giown - ieau the Nativity, anu you'll stiuggle to
Chiistmas' iise in populaiity has leu to an evei-incieasing influence ovei the iest of oui cultuie. All in

Biscloimer - tbese focts ore every bit os scientificolly soliJ, sounJ
431/-.+&-2 '$. 7'#/T" &#*$3$#
&'( &'&# -"X2 3&- ,1"Y7"'.#C
M""' /##"8&#G Cbristmos bos been
outloweJ severol times in Western
countries, usuolly by Puriton
qovernments. Wben tbis boppeneJ in
Britoin in 1647 ofter tbe Civil Wor, it
prompteJ pro-Cbristmos riots, onJ for
severol weeks rioters controlleJ tbe town
of Contebury, bonqinq bolly in Joorwoys
onJ sboutinq Royolist sloqons.
6&'.& 4#&7- /- @"1+&'2 @1""T2
$1 S$--/M#C Z/T/'82
("S"'(/'8 )3$ C$7 &-TG Tbe
nome Sonto Clous Jerives from
Sinterkloos, tbe 6ermon nome for
Soint Nicbolos wbicb become wiJely
useJ tbrouqbout ports of Furope in
tbe HiJJle Aqes. Eowever, Soint
Nicbolos bimself wos o 6reek bisbop
witb o reputotion for secret qift-
qivinq onJ severol mirocles
ottributeJ to bim. AnJ before
Cbristionity come olonq, tbere wos o
very similor fiqure in vikinq culture -
tbe qoJ 0Jin, wbo olso boJ o lonq
qrey beorJ, roJe tbrouqb tbe sky on o
borse {tbis wos pre-sleiqb times) onJ
corrieJ o speor for Jisciplininq
nouqbty cbilJren,skewerinq enemies.
L$--/M#C (7" .$ 3/-
*$',7-"( *7#.71&#
/("'./.C2 6&'.& 7-"( .$ M"
& #/..#" M/. 1&*/-.. lts borJ
work Jeliverinq presents to 7
billion people, onJ Sonto of
course bos belp, but it wosnt
olwoys elves qettinq tbe
seosonol work {nor is it
mentioneJ wbetber tbey were
ever poiJ for it. ) ln Belqium
onJ tbe NetberlonJs, "Zworte
Piet" or "Block Petes" were
personol servonts to Soint Nick
of Hoorisb Jescent, onJ ore
troJitionolly ployeJ by octors in
full block-foce, wbicb frequently
results in culture sbock in tbe
unpreporeJ.
>' .3" "0"'. $, &
'7*#"&1 3$#$*&7-.2
/.- '$. & M&( /("&
.$ ,/'( C$71 '"&1"-.
431/-.+&- S7((/'8
"+S$1/7+ &'(
-.$*T 7S. Tbe overoqe
Cbristmos puJJinq
contoins SS00 colories,
twice tbe Joily coloric
requirements of on
oJult mole. Tbonks to its
qenerous belpinqs of
suqor onJ olcobol, if
storeJ properly con lost
6 montbs.
=3" ,/1-. "0"1 ."X. +"--&8" -&/(
[A"11C 431/-.+&-\G lt wos sent on S
Becember 1992, wben tbe 22-yeor-olJ
Britisb enqineer Neil Popwortb useJ bis
computer to wisb o "Herry Cbristmos" to
RicborJ }orvis, of voJofone, on bis 0rbitel 901
mobile pbone. Popwortb JiJn't qet o reply
becouse tbere wos no woy to senJ o text from o
pbone in tbose Joys. Tbot boJ to woit for
Nokio's first mobile pbone in 199S.
[K".3#"3"+\2 ]"-7-D ,&+$7-
M/1.3S#&*"2 /- <1&M/* ,$1 [!$7-" $,
K1"&(\G ln tbe moJern tronslotion onywoy -
bock in tbe Joy, it woulJ more likely bove tronsloteJ os
"Eouse 0f Heot", wbicb is sliqbtly less cute.
^U+&- /- &' &MM1"0/&./$' $,
431/-.+&-2 M7. S1$M&M#C '$. /' .3"
)&C .3&. C$7 .3/'T. "Cbristmos" is o
compounJ worJ JeriveJ from tbe pbrose "Cbrists
Hoss". "Cbrist" comes from tbe 6reek Kbristos,
wbicb is itself o tronslotion of tbe Eebrew Hosiob
{"Hessiob"). Written in tbe 6reek olpbobet
{olpbo-beto, remember?), it comes out os
Xpto:o, tbe first letter of wbicb, cbi, is similor to
tbe Romon letter X - bence, Xmos, wbicb wos
useJ os for bock os tbe HiJJle Aqes, onJ not just
by lozy oJvertisers.
]"-7- S1$M&M#C )&-'D. M$1' $' _`
.3

E"*"+M"12 $1 ,$1 .3&. +&.."12 /'
E"*"+M"1G Tbere is wiJespreoJ Jispute
on tbe octuol birtb Jote of }esus, os tbe eorly
Cburcb moveJ bis birtbJoy sometime orounJ tbe 4
tb

century AB to toke oJvontoqe of tbe poqon Winter
Solstice festivol. A frequently reporteJ but
unsubstontioteJ cloim is tbot tbe reol Jote wos
sometime in miJ-April, offerinq on olternotive
explonotion for tbe Cburcbs Jecision, os it woulJ
bove roiseJ tbe Jepressinq possibility, qiven tbe
perioJs proximity to Foster, tbot }esus moy bove
=3" *C'/*- &1"'D. &#)&C- 1/83. U -7/*/("
1&."- &*.7&##C EF:D= 8$ 7S &1$7'(
431/-.+&-G A 199S stuJy by tbe Hoyo clinic founJ
tbot Jespite tbe clicb, tbere were no increoses in
suiciJes or psycbiotric oJmissions orounJ tbe Cbristmos
or New Yeor boliJoys.
>, C$7 .3/'T 431/-.+&- /- 8"../'8 +$1"
*$++"1*/&#2 C$7D1" )1$'8 a /. )&-
*$++"1*/&#/b"( #$'8 M",$1" C$7 )"1" M$1'G
RuJolpb tbe ReJ-NoseJ ReinJeer wos inventeJ for o 0S
clotbinq firms cotoloque in 19S8, Sontos reJ clotbinq wos
populoriseJ by Coco-Colo {tbouqb not inventeJ by tbem) to
ossociote tbemselves witb tbe boliJoy perioJ bock in tbe
S0s, onJ Cbristmos itself bos been tbe Jominont event in tbe
business colenJor for tbe better port of o century.
=3" )$1#(D- #&18"-. *1&*T"1 )&-
S7##"( /' <7-.1&#/& /' QPPQG lt wos
4S.72m lonq onJ S.04m wiJe. No
recorJs ore kept of wbot tbe qiont qift
insiJe wos, but scientists believe it wos
likely just os useless os tbe requlor sizeJ
ones.


11
431/-.+&- /-
1"-S$'-/M#" ,$1 .3" *1"&./$'
$, 6$7.3 L&1TG c/'( $,G Tbe
first "episoJe" of tbe onimoteJ
sbow wos creoteJ by founJers Trey
Porker onJ Hott Stone os o
"Seosons 6reetinqs" Cbristmos qift
to senJ to tbeir frienJs, onJ
feotureJ o bottle between }esus
onJ Sonto over wbo wos tbe reol
moster of Cbristmos.
=3" L3/#/SS/'"- 3&0" .3"
)$1#(D- #$'8"-. 431/-.+&-.
Wbile we in tbe 0K only stort qettinq corols
onJ tinsel ofter Eolloween, in tbe moinly
Cotbolic orcbipeloqo oJverts stort in
September onJ officiol observonce beqins
on tbe 16
tb
September onJ losts, JepenJinq
on preference, up to tbe S
rJ
SunJoy of
}onuory. Tbots potentiolly up to S
exboustinq weeks of boliJoy cbeer.
nice ieally, anu the only stiange thing is why we uon't uo it moie often. No, it's the stuff aiounu
the festival has spieau acioss the globe. Chiistmas as we know it is built upon a huge melting pot of
finu any mention of Saint Nick, because he won't be boin foi anothei Suu yeais. What's moie,
all, its geneiateu some pietty inteiesting tiivia, so enjoy a few of the lessei known facts of the holiuay season.

onJ relioble os tbe lnternet l founJ tbem on.
=3" S$)"1 $, 431/-.+&-
$'*" -.$SS"( & )&12 &#M"/.
M1/",#C &'( )/.3 .3" 3"#S $, -S$1..
0ne of tbe only successful truces of WWl
wos struck between Britisb onJ 6ermon
troops on Cbristmos Fve 1914. Tbe
fiqbtinq stoppeJ for one niqbt, Jurinq
wbicb tbe two siJes sbook bonJs,
excbonqeJ qifts onJ even ployeJ footboll
=3" 431/-.+&- .1"" )&- $1/8/'&##C &
@"1+&' .1&(/./$' ,/1-. M1$783. .$
.3" Vc MC d7""' Z/*.$1/&D- 37-M&'(
L1/'*" <#M"1.G Ee wosnt tbe first
monorcb to try eitber - Tbe wife of Kinq
6eorqe lll boJ trieJ to import tbe troJition
severol JecoJes eorlier, but presumobly
wosnt enouqb of o trenJ-setter to moke it
cotcb on.
=3" -+&## .$)' $, @7MM/$ /' :$1.3"1' >.&#C /-
3$+" .$ .3" )$1#(D- M/88"-. 431/-.+&- .1"" a
.3$783 /.- '$. 1"&##C & 431/-.+&- .1""G As tbe
JemonJ for biqqer trees bos qrown, moJern Cbristmos trees
bove increosinqly been moJe from plostics, metol onJ otber
non-tree moteriols, onJ so ore often referreJ to os "Jisploys",
wbose Jefinition focuses more on simply beinq tbe sbope of o
troJitionol Cbristmos tree. ln 6ubbio every Cbristmos, 7 onJ o
bolf miles of coblinq onJ severol bunJreJ liqbts ore useJ to
construct tbe sbope of o qiont tree on tbe slopes of tbe neorby
Hount lnqino. StonJinq opproximotely 1,S00 feet toll onJ
2,600 feet wiJe, tbe tree stretcbes from tbe outskirts of 6ubbio
to tbe top of tbe mountoin, onJ is toppeJ by o 160x80 feet stor.
431/-.+&- *&1(- &1" S1$$, .3&.
S"$S#" &1" '$.3/'8 /, '$.
7'$1/8/'&#G Tbe first Cbristmos corJs
were JesiqneJ by }obn Collcott Eorsley
for Eenry Cole in 184S, onJ feotureJ tbe
messoqe "A Herry Cbristmos onJ o Eoppy New
Yeor to You". 0ver 1S0 yeors on, tbe most
populor messoqe {occorJinq to Eollmork) sent
in tbem is still tbot some line.
>, C$7D1" 7'#7*TC "'$783 .$ M" & *3/#( /' <#S/'"
*$7'.1/"- -7*3 &- <7-.1/& $1 !7'8&1C2 C$7 3&0" .$
M" "X.1& *&1",7# '$. .$ M" '&783.C2 $1 & ("+$'
)/## "&. C$7G Kromus is o beost-like creoture witb borns
onJ cloven booves wbo serves os o counterport to Soint Nick
to punisb nouqbty cbilJren. Eis punisbments ronqe from
lumps of cool to beotinqs to just Jroqqinq cbilJren off to
Eell, presumobly for borbequinq.
AC ,&0$71/." $, &## 431/-.+&- .1&(/./$'- /- .3" @&0#" @$&. $, @&0#"2 6)"("'G Eveiy yeai in uavle, the town
eiects a massive statue of a goat maue out of hay anu woou, a piactice common in many Scanuinavian
countiies as pait of Chiistmas. Anu eveiy yeai, without fail, someone tiies to buin it uown. In which case, they
builu it again the next yeai. This "tiauition" has been going on since 1968 when the fiist goat was built anu
subsequently buineu uown by an anonymous aisonist on Chiistmas Eve, anu since then the iitual of the uavle
uoat has been a testament to the bloouy minueu ueteimination of the human spiiit, both to cieate anu uestioy.
The constiuctois go to extieme lengths to tiy to piotect the goat, even coating it with flame-iesistant fluius
anu ioping in the Sweuish aimy to guaiu it, but the woulu-be goat buineis finu a way fai moie often than not -
on past occasions its been buint uown in the miuule of a blizzaiu anu by use of a flaming aiiow. Anu yet they
iebuilu it, eveiy yeai. If that isn't a Chiistmas miiacle, I uon't know what is.


12
K('.%L lf tbe Hoyons were correct, tbe worlJs obout to be recycleJ. Come 21
st
Becember lm qoinq to toke Bouqlos AJoms oJvice,
onJ put o poper boq over my beoJ to owoit tbe inevitoble. But before tbot, we tbouqbt weJ like to qive you o run Jown of some of tbe
Jisosters you olmost certoinly wont be oble to protect yourself from.
K*%"L }omes sboll be quiJinq you tbrouqb eocb scenorio extinction, onJ lll be cruncbinq tbe numbers to qive you o completely
orbitrory ossessment of our cbonces.
Nucleai Bolocaust Anu Subsequent Wintei
]&+"-: In the Sus 0.S. schoolchiluien weie taught that in the event of a
nucleai attack, they shoulu 'uuck anu covei' unuei theii uesk. I uon't
know exactly what Beit the Tuitle oi his supeiiois weie thinking when
they came up with that piotocol, but even with a meie physics uCSE, I
can pietty much vouch foi iauiation penetiating woou.
We cuiiently have 8 (known) nucleai aimeu nations anu if in some
uiabolic scenaiio they all set off theii waiheaus simultaneously it coulu
put us all six foot unuei. Not just metaphoiically, but liteially too - six
foot unuei a bucketing of snow fiom a wonueiful nucleai wintei
wonueilanu. The iuea is that nucleai wai coulu affect climate too by
senuing ash into the stiatospheie causing colu weathei anu ieuucing
sunlight, tuining Eaith into a global Sibeiia foi a numbei of yeais. Even
snow loses its chaim at 4u below.
Beauly Niciooiganisms
]&+"-? Im not talking the sniffles- I'm talking a panuemic of quite fiankly biblical piopoitions that makes the Spanish flu look like a
uiop in the ocean. We may have maue majoi meuical auvances since 1918 but suie as hell, these bugs aie leaps anu bounus aheau
just waiting foi an oppoitune moment to stiike. You evei lookeu up what a piion is. That's iight kius. pioteins that can kill you, in
new anu exciting ways. Believe it oi not, we alieauy have a human vaiiant of Nau Cow Bisease calleu Kuiu: A tiansmissible
spongifoim encephalopathy that seems to be spieau by cannibalism. Which biings me on to my next point.
]$-3? Piions aie inueeu pietty teiiifying, as is the possibility of any numbei of hoiiible uiseases becoming aggiessively infectious.
Watch the film Contagion - it's basically this scenaiio, except in ieal life we won't even have Natt Bamon to save us because he'll
just be an actoi.
W/T"#/3$$(? H?Q
]$-3? Though the inteinational political scene can nevei ieally be saiu to be anything less than chaotic, the majoi nucleai poweis
got ovei most of theii suiciualgenociual postuiing in the seconu half of the 2u
th
centuiy, anu since the fall of the 0SSR things have
been ielatively calm. If theie's any iisk, it woulu come insteau fiom one of the smallei, moie iecently nucleai-capable nations. The
Isiael-Iian conflict might be one to watch in that iespect.
W/T"#/3$$( $, E$$+ e Qfff?Q
Nethane Buips ( The Clathiate uun Bypothesis)
]&+"-: I'u nevei heaiu of this befoie, anu it's a cataclysm coming fiom the leftfielu but inteiesting nonetheless. Fiist off: it's
exactly as it sounus. a iise in sea tempeiatuie coulu cause methane Clathiate compounus encaseu in sea beus & peimafiost to
uestabilize anu ielease moie methane than the collective effoit of all cows on the planet. This piocess then becomes self-peipetual,
causing fuithei global tempeiatuie iises anu moie belching until we cook in oui own skin quite akin to a banana on a baibeque.
Scientists think that this has actually happeneu befoie- about SS million yeais ago anu it muckeu up the Climate foi appioximately
1uu,uuu yeais. Let's hope anothei one isn't in the post.
]$-3? Let's be honest, anyone who cuiiently thinks that climate change isn't ieal is eithei heavily investeu in inuustiies who stanu
to lose fiom the fact, oi ueoige 0sboine. 0f couise, you coulu be both. Whethei it's the methane buips, melting aictic oi ueau seas
(that's a scaiy one, look it up), it all stems fiom abuse of oui enviionment, anu oui comeuppance as a species is veiy much in the
post. Bowevei, its unlikely we'll hit a tipping point in the next few months. The next few yeais may be a uiffeient stoiy.
W/T"#/3$$( $, E$$+ e _f?Q
(but probably wont)


1S
Aliens - Nais Attacks style
]&+"-? They seemeu so innocent at fiist uiun't they. Bowevei ugly anu veitically
challengeu they may have been they caiiieu a pietty mean ueath iay. ln tbeir snookerboll
sizeJ eyes tbey moy closs tbe Hors Rovers explorotory mission os on oct of invosion onJ
woste no time in omossinq tbeir subterroneon forces to come to eortb onJ enslove us oll.
AnJ even if tbey Jont enslove us, tbeyll exterminote us oll onJ toke tbe plonet for
tbemselves. We bove fjorJs Jommit, even Hortions tbink IjorJs ore neot onJ oport from tbe
foct tberes fuck oll fjorJs on mors onJ not mucb else to keep tbeir interest eitber. No broiner
reolly. Perbops we coulJ come to o mutuol oqreement onJ just qive tbem Norwoy. We bettei
hope that Rovei finus nothing huh. This whole scenaiio puts a knot in my stomach. Why
woulu the Naitians even agiee to claim just Noiway.. pieposteious.
]$-3? Anyone whose been keeping abieast of NASA's Cuiiosity iovei will be awaie that so
fai this seems uistinctly unlikely. Bowevei, I've been wiong befoie.
W/T"#/3$$( $, E$$+? Qf2fff?Q
Nanotechnology - "The uiey uoo"
]&+"-? 0kay so uon't expect this to happen by 21
st
, but we all know that once a new technological concept ciops up, we as a species
love to make it that little bit smallei eithei foi piactically oi just because we can. So goou at it aie we at it that we've moveu to a
nanoscale. Robots at a infinitesimally small scale that can be instiucteu to uestioy tumoui cells, mop up noxious chemicals oi
manufactuie at a moleculai level. Sounu amazing uoesn't it. But how uo we even builu enough of these things to make an impact.
Well some biight spaik came up with iuea of making them self-ieplicating which I can assuie you coulu leau to uiie consequences.
0ne of the founueis of nanotechnology actually cieateu a scenaiio calleu the uiey -uoo pioblem; Be hypothesizeu that these
nanobots woulu be so efficient at ieplication using mateiials fiom theii enviionment, that within the space of a few uays of
exponential giowth they woulu have eaten you, me anu all the tea in china tuining the planet into a unifoim giey mulch.
]$-3? I feel like this one haiks back to the 19Sus feai of science-gone-mau, as manifesteu in the many classic B-movies of the eia
featuiing scientists tampeiing with Things They Biun't 0nueistanu. That feai is still with us, as seen when CERN hau to calm feais
in the non-scientific community that the Laige Bauion Colliuei might cieate a black hole. I think now though we know a gieat ueal
moie about science now anu paiticulaily when anu when not to pioceeu. Plus, if the nanobots aie anything like eveiy othei piece of
mouein technology, they'll bieak within a yeai anu you'll have to senu them back to Amazon.
W/T"#/3$$( $, E$$+? _Pf2fff?H

Biaaiiiinnnnsss Zombies
]&+"-? The olu age classic: if the bugs above uon't just kill us, but ieanimate the
iecently ueceaseu anu tuin batshit nuts then we maybe in with a bit of a pioblem
a l Woilu Wai Z. It iemains to be seen whethei they'll be the sluggish uim
witteu type pieuicteu by ueoige A. Romeio oi the fleet footeu cieatuies of 28
Bays Latei. In eithei case stock iations, always caiiy a ciicket bat anu stay fai,
fai away fiom any pub calleu the Winchestei.
]$-3? Theie is a small neiuy pait of me that wants to say this is incieuibly likely.
W/T"#/3$$( $, E$$+? Bitteily unlikely.
uiant man eating lanu squiu.
]&+"-? I have nothing to say about this. }ust watch youi back; you've been waineu, seiiously,
that's all I'm alloweu to say on the mattei.
]$-3? I have no woius.
W/T"#/3$$( $, E$$+: Ceitain.


14

Pbil Cottons
Sweet Christmas Mash

Ny favouiite mash to go with Chiistmas
uinnei is:

4-6 sweet potatoes - peeleu anu boileu
12 a can of coconut milk
12 a pounu of stiong cheuuai - giateu

1) Nash all ingieuients togethei (shoulu be
slightly moie sloppy than iegulai masheu
potatoes)
2) Place in ueep uish
S) Spiinkle with giateu cheese (optional)
4) Bake in oven 1Su foi Su mins until
biowneu

.AnJ Eis Iomous
Mincemeat Crumble
Foi the topping:
Floui
Biown sugai
uiounu almonus (equal piopoition to floui)
0live oil (insteau of buttei oi maigaiine)

1) Nix ingieuients into 'bieauciumbs'
2) Place ovei contents of jai of mincemeat anu
bake at 1Su until goluen biown (4S mins)
Eveiyone knows how goou the staff of the meuical school aie at lectuiing anu PBL-ing, but uiu you know they also
occasionally cook foou. We set out to collect some iecipes fiom the Wolfson's well-known faces to auu some meuical
zest to youi Chiistmas uinneis. Bon appetit!
Surqo occepts no responsibility for ony beoltb Jomoqe or culinory Jisoppointment resultinq from tbese recipes - you use
onJ consume ot your own risk.

Suson }omiesons
Gratin Dauphinoise
(We piefei this to ioast potatoes oi cioquettes) ~ seives 4, oi 6-8
as an accompaniment. Ingieuients:
Slb1.SSkg potatoes, washeu anu thinly sliceu (about
inchu.Scm thick)
1 laige leek, washeu anu thinly sliceu
2 cloves gailic, ciusheu
Soz8Sg buttei
12-16 fl. ozSSu-Suuml uouble cieam (oi SuSu mix of
singleuouble cieam)
6oz17ug uiuyeie cheese, giateu
Fieshly giounu nutmeg
Salt anu fieshly giounu black peppei

1) 0sing about 1ozSug buttei, giease a laige ovei-pioof
bakingseiving uish.
2) Layei half the potatoes in this.
S) Season with half the gailic, some salt, peppei anu giateu
nutmeg (about tsp).
4) Spiinkle with sliceu leek.
S) Covei with the iemaining potatoes anu season again with
gailic, salt anu peppei.
6) Top with giateu cheese.
7) Poui the cieam ovei the top - enough to geneiously
covei the potatoes.
8) Bot with the iemaining buttei.

Bake in the ovei at gas maik SS7S"F19u"C foi 1.S-2hi, oi until
potatoes aie tenuei anu have absoibeu most of the cieam (Nb: lf
tbe qrotin oppeors too Jry, oJJ more creom Jurinq tbe cookinq
time; if its browninq too quickly, cover it liqbtly witb foil.)

Come PBL With Me:
Christmas Recipes From The Wolfson!s Secret Chefs


1S
Bes uilmoie's
Chocolate Truffles

14lb (12ug) buttei
14lb (12ug) icing sugai
2oz (6ug) of coconut
1 packet of wine oi othei plain biscuits
(ciusheu)
2oz (6ug) cocoa
vanilla essence
1 cup mixeu fiuit (optional)
Extia coconut foi coating

Nelt the buttei anu auu it to the othei
ingieuients.
Roll the mixtuie into balls anu coat in
coconut.
Insteau of mixeu fiuit you can use eithei a
small maishmallow oi a cube of chocolate,
eithei peppeimint oi caiamello, anu ioll the
tiuffle mixtuie aiounu it so the chocolate oi
maishmallow is in the miuule anu a nice
suipiise when you bite into it.
.AnJ ber renowneJ
Broccoli pur"e with blue cheese
(ueau easy veg foi Chiistmas uinnei) ~ seives 4-6

14.2Soz4Sug bioccoli
1.2S oz4ug unsalteu buttei
1.SozSug blue cheese, giateu oi finely ciumbleu (we use Stilton)

1) Tiim the bioccoli stalks fiom the main stem, uiscaiuing the stem -
you want about 7oz22ug stalks. Wash the stalks thoioughly anu uiain.
2) Tiim the flowei heaus, setting them to one siue, then slice the stalks
veiy thinly.
S) Nelt the buttei in a meuium pan.
4) Auu the stalks anu covei with a sheet of gieasepioof papei, with the
pan liu on top. Cook veiy gently foi 1u minutes, until tenuei - uon't let
the stalks go biown.
S) Finely chop the bioccoli flowei heaus anu auu them to the pan, with
4fl.oz12Sml watei.
6) Cook, uncoveieu, foi S minutes - until tenuei but still biight gieen,
then uiain the bioccoli well anu blenu in a foou piocessoi until smooth.
7) Retuin puiee to the pan anu ieheat gently.
8) Remove fiom the heat anu stii in the cheese.
Season to taste anu seive as oval quenelles by pushing a iounueu
uesseitspoon (1uml spoon) of puiee off the spoon, using anothei spoon
- oi make life simple by putting it all into a wee seiving uish!
Katie Lunn's
Marvellous Mulled Wine
Peel of 1 lemon anu 1 oiange
}uice of 1 oiange
1Sug castei sugai
S cloves
S caiuamom pous
1 cinnamon stick
Fieshly giateu nutmeg
2 bottles un-oakeu ieu wine
1) Auu fiuit peel, oiange juice, sugai anu spices to a
laige saucepan with just enough wine to covei the
sugai. Beat gently to uissolve the sugai. Biing to the
boil anu cook foi about S minutes.
2) Poui in the iest of the wine anu simmei gently
ovei a low heat until ieauy to seive.
NB - Kotie is oJmitteJly o stuJent rotber tbon stoff
member, but ber mulleJ wine tostes Jelicious
reqorJless.
Nicola Cumming's
Christmas Egg Nog

2 pints whole milk
6 eggs
Sugcastei sugai
1 vanilla pou, split
2u fiesh cheiiies, stones iemoveu anu halveu
2uumlbianuy
cocoa powuei, foi uusting

Piepaiation methou
1) Place the milk, eggs, sugai anu vanilla pou in a
meuium pan anu heat gently, without boiling, until the
mixtuie thickens enough to coat the back of a spoon.
2)The egg nog can be chilleu at this stage oi seiveu hot.
S) To seive, scattei the cheiiies in the bottom of each
seiving glass(optional). Biviue the bianuy between the
glasses anu poui the egg nog ovei. Bust with cocoa
powuei anu seive.


16
1u-1S = goou
1S-2S = veiy goou
2S-Su = excellent
Su+ = supeihuman

Word Count
Bow many woius can you make fiom the letteis in...
C(.'*+"#*'(&*%$%
Woius must be at least S letteis long anu cannot be piopei nouns. =$S -*$1"
,1$+ .3" 6718$ ."&+ /- Rg2 comment on oui facebook piofile if you beat this
anu we'll give you a shout in the next issue!
1

2

S

4

S


6

7

8

9


1u


11



12

1S

14


1S

16

17


18

19


2u

21

22


2S

24


2S

26

27


28

29


Su

Su


Acioss

1. Receiveu on the 9
th
uay (6-7)
7. Celestial ieinueei (S)
1u. This might make you thiow up youi
Chiistmas uinnei (9)
11. uailanu (6)
1S. Bickensian piotagonist (7)
1S. Seasonal city (6)
18. Chiistmas is coming (6)
2u. A geibil. Benevolent being (7)
21. Couch (4)
2S. Wise golu givei (6)
24. A iinging palsy (S)
26. Festive uesseit, _____ puuuing(S)
28. White Chiistmas was his biggest hit
(4-6)
Su. }oyeux ____ (4)
S1. Ny goveinment will.(S-7)

Bown
2. ___ ___ baby, cool song (S)
S.uive to chaiity(6)
4.Wintei waibles (6)
S. 0lu man wintei, fathei jack (S)
6.Bappy Xmas (___), }ohn anu Yoko's
ballau (S-2-4)
7._________ uisease, Baemophilia B (9)
8. Founu beneath an angel oi stai (4)
9. Bolly's companion (S)
11. Festive film claims that it's a.(9-4)
12. Rich man's fiist time on plane, tiain
anu Tv (6)
14. 0nwanteu stocking fillei (4)
16. Totally on the t wagon (S)
19. Euiasian biiu (6)
22. Wise men (4)
2S. ____ kitchen, homeless help (4)
27. Auious nugget (4)
29. }unipei spiiit (S)
Missing links
The answei to each clue is a woiu that can be
placeu befoie oi aftei each woiu to make a
new woiu oi phiase. E.g. Submaiine, lemon,
mellow woulu be YELL0W. When solveu, the
fiist lettei of each answei will give an anagiam
foi one of Santa's ieinueei.







Away, fun, chicken
Look, waiu, evei
Roast, }acket, Chiistmas
Sight, hanu, chance
Liu, goluen, eagle
Tiee, sit, Boctoi
Ellas Christmas Puzzles