1

2
THE SURGO CONTENTS
4 !"#$%&#'(
S !)*+$, .'(*+"'&
6 /+$*&0'( 1 /, /$ 2%& 3%45
8 67* 80#*+0* %9 :%)*
; 67* <&$ %9 :%)*
1u ='(*+$#+*>, ?'@ 1 < 8#+A(*>, B4#"*
11 67* 84&A% C(#+"D?'$*D'D$7%+ EFGH
12 67* I*'&$J < K#,0*(('+@
14 B%%" =#L&'$#%+,
1S 2*$#,7*,
16 I%&%,0%M*,
8N*(*$%+ M#0$4&*, 1 O6#(( ?*'$7 ?% P,
Q'&$>R '+ '&$#,$#0 M#*0* L@ 6%S
C'""*(*@
.%)*& Q7%$% 1 TK@ C(%%"@ ='(*+$#+*U
Q7%$%A&'M7@ L@ V*,,#0' I'((
<&&%W W7#$$(*" L@ =*+(' X'+$%('
2'99#+A 'L%4$ L@ V%,7 Y#*(,*+

S
THE SURGO TEAM
!"#$%& #+ .7#*9
}osh Nielsen
<,,#,$'+$ !"#$%&
}ames Taujkaiimi*
2#+'+0* !"#$%&
Lucy Waite
Q&%"40$#%+ !"#$%&
Katie Lunn
<&$, !"#$%&
Tom Bauueley
.%+$&#L4$#+A Z&#$*&
Ella Bennett
T0RN 0N'S
[*" 8$&#M* C**&
?#&$@ ?'+0#+A \4%$*,

T0RN 0FF'S
.'M'0#$@
/+9%&S*" .%+,*+$

T0RN 0N'S
Q#++' .%('"'>,
B*$$#+A 0'4A7$ #+ $7* &'#+

T0RN 0FF'S
.%SS#$S*+$
84+(#A7$

T0RN 0N'S
< W*((D&'#,*" *@*L&%W
]"" ,%0N,
.7**,*
T0RN 0FF'S
Q#((%W $'(N
I'#&R '+@W7*&*

T0RN 0N'S
6*'
X#+"+*,,
PN4(*(* 0%)*&, %9 [>+>C>
7#$,
T0RN 0FF'S
6%% S407 $*'
Y%$ *+%4A7 N#+"+*,,
[>+>C> 7#$,

T0RN 0N'S
=#M*&

T0RN 0FF'S
=#M*&

T0RNS 0N'S
I%+*,$@
2#"*(#$@
:%@'($@
T0RN 0FF'S
:#'&,
.7*'$*&,
C',$'&",
C%@9&#*+"D,$*'(#+A ,(4$,


4
EDITORIAL
!"##$ &'( )"#*$+", -$ -./0, -." 1&#"'-/'"20
3(/-/$' $4 5678$9
Befoie we go any fuithei, just so you know - this issue is
filthy. Like ieally, the Suigo team got veiy uisinhibiteu
pitching iueas foi this issue. I feel like we shoulu be
giving it out in biown papei bags. uou help me if any
family evei get holu of a copy. I uon't know if I'll evei feel
clean again. ^/+ '(( ,*&#%4,+*,,R %4& #+$*+$#%+ #, $% 'S4,*
'+" *+$*&$'#+R L4$ #9 @%4 '&* *',#(@ %99*+"*"R S'@L* _4,$
,N#M $7#, *"#$#%+ '+" *)*&@%+* W#(( L* 7'MM@`a Anyway, you
have been waineu. To continue.
1&#"'-/'"209 A woiu that stiikes feai into the
heaits of singletons eveiywheie, as the one uay a yeai
we'ie ieminueu that we'ie uisgusting anu will uie alone.
1

0sually magazines aiounu this time aie full of tips foi
what to uo on valentine's with youi othei half, but
iealistically, couples alieauy have theii special uay soiteu
- thiow togethei a halfway uecent piesent anu a uinnei
ieseivation, anu you've manageu to pull. So this
valentine's euition is ueuicateu not just to love, but to
those of us who aie still looking foi it. Anu hoping that its
not like Alton Toweis - sounus gieat in theoiy, but when
you finally get theie the exciting bits aie veiy shoit, anu
most of the expeiience is iuineu by annoying chiluien.
Back in the uay, when you likeu someone you took
them to the movies, oi a uance, bought them gifts anu
wiote them poems, long befoie you even consiueieu you
might get to touch theii shin (knees weie out of bounus, it
was a simplei time). Sauly, the ait of couitship has uieu a
ueath - now, people mostly just get uiunk neai each othei
anu hope stuff happens, anu even that is getting moie
uifficult now the Bive has closeu. So to coiiect this sau
state of affaiis, Suigo match-maue 2 couples on blinu
uates at uiffeient West Enu locales. Bow uiu they faie.
Reau the post-uate inteiviews in ":#/'( ;&-"" to finu out.
Foi those of you who weien't lucky enough to get
the Suigo matchmaking expeiience, contiibuting wiitei
Ella Bennett can give you some tips as she looks at some of
the biology anu chemistiy of attiaction in "<." 5*/"'*" =4
>$?"@, while in ">2A7- B2A+$67" (The Ait of Love, foi all
you plebs who uiun't uo uCSEStanuaiu uiaue Fiench)
youis tiuly examines the histoiy anu changing face of
uating. Anu if that still uoesn't woik foi you, check out oui
"1&#"'-/'"20 C A 5/'8#"20 D6/("E" foi auvice on suiviving
the uay without eating youi BNI (bouy mass in ice-
cieam).
In "F'-"7*&# C F0 F- ;$7 G$6H", a cuiient inteical
stuuent (who wisheu to iemain anonymous) uiscusses
theii expeiiences so fai, anu the pio's anu con's of uoing
anothei uegiee in a yeai.
Piouuction Euitoi Katie Lunn ieviews the place of
the heait in oui cultuie, anu just how a bloouy musculai
pump came to iepiesent tiue love, in "<." !"&7- C A
I/0*"##&'J", while Finance Euitoi Lucy Waite examines
the histoiy of the vibiatoi, anu its entanglement with the
state of women's iights in oui society in "D$$(
1/K7&-/$'0'.
Anu finally, in his aiticle "5-7&'8" >$?"", Tom
Bauueley investigates the woilu of fetishes, anu piesents
his list of the 1u most bizaiie he coulu finu. Those of a
sensitive uisposition will be glau to know he uiu not
pioviue photos.
We hope you enjoy this euition of Suigo, anu
whethei it's with a paitnei oi youi fiienus, all have a fun
valentine's!
- }osh Nielsen, Suigo Euitoi 2u12-2u1S
G 1 [*S#+"*" L@ %$7*& M*%M(* $7'$ #,R &'$7*& $7'+ $7*
L'$7&%%S S#&&%& %& %4& ',,%&$S*+$ %9 0'$,

S
L&M7/*$7'
The Piofessoi who winkeu at you last
week may have appeaieu to have been
making a move. Bowevei, Pluto's moons
can confiim that they hau something in
theii eye. B0 N0T P0RS0E.
AN6&7/60
It's youi month Aquaiius, but sauly life's
not always about you.
O/0*"0
Biops of }upitei in youi haii aie causing
you to use youi bank caiu on nights out.
Remembei, why pay foi uiinks youiself
when you can get someone else to buy
them foi you.
A7/"0
The stais aie aligneu foi you this month
anu will biing with them the piospect of
passion. Seize the moment while you'ie
still young. (Bisclaimei: we can accept
no iesponsibility foi iash uecisions anu
theii consequences.)
<&6760
You think you'ie ieally sly, but all youi
fiienus know that you sent youiself that
gift. Avoiu embaiiassment anu leave the
countiy. Scoipio is looking foi a tiavel
companion.
D"+/'/
You will expeiience beieavement in the
thiiu week of Febiuaiy. Peihaps it's time
to accept that owning plants just isn't foi
you.
L&'*"7
Since 0ianus is in }upitei, an acciuent is
wiitten in the stais. A million miles away,
a message to the biave: tieau caiefully oi
make space in youi calenuai foi a tiip to
A&E.
>"$
If you uon't want a ioom at Beaitbieak
Botel this Febiuaiy 14
th
, embiace youi
innei lion anu stalk caiefully befoie going
in foi the kill. Bewaie of a iival male on
Level S.
1/78$
Who caies that it's Aquaiius' month.
Nobouy puts viigo in the coinei. This
month you'll meet youi Patiick Swayze.
Waining - avoiu wateimelons.
>/K7&
Canules may seem like a nice way of
ielieving stiess, but with Nais oibiting
close to the sun, it woulu be auvisable to
stay away fiom nakeu flames.
5*$7M/$
This is the uawning of a new age! The
woilu is youi oystei anu it's time to tiavel.
Belpful tip - a bau tattoo anu an anklet
uon't make you cultuieu. Neithei uo
uieaulocks.
5&8/--&7/60
Youi significant othei will ask you an
impoitant question this month. The stais
offei no guiuance, this one's on you.
P7/--"' KJ O0J*./* 56Q &'( ."7 -760-J *$+M&'/$' A0-7$ A''&9 :$-. &7" &?&/#&K#" 4$7 M&#+ 7"&(/'80
&'( :&7 I/-Q?&.09
Psychic Suzs
VALENTINES HOROSCOPES
!"#$%&>, ?#,0('#S*& 1 Q,@07#0 84b #, +%$ ' \4'(#9#*" "%0$%&R 0%4+,*((%&R M&%M7*$ %& ',$&%+%S*&R '+" #,+>$ *)*+ M'&$#04('&(@
A%%" '$ A'SL(#+A ^/ 7')* ' ,4,M#0#%+ OQ,@07#0 84b> #,+>$ *)*+ 7*& &*'( +'S*`R ,% $'N* '(( '")#0* '$ @%4& %W+ &#,Na

6
To give you a iough iuea of what youi uay-to-uay week plays
out like heie's an example below foi 1
st
teim.
Then aftei Chiistmas it soit of looks a lot moie like this.
Bon't let the woius 'Coie Reseaich Nethouologies' (CRN) anu
'Cuiient Reseaich Issues' (CRI) scaie you. CRN is a bit of
backgiounu on things like lab funuamentals, epiuemiology anu
how clinical tiials aie conuucteu - kinu of inteiesting if you'ie
into that thing, anu I woulu imagine you woulu be if you'ie
thinking of uoing ieseaich foi a yeai. CRI can be a bit moie hit
anu miss though, as it centies aiounu high piofile speakeis
thioughout ulasgow that aie inviteu to come anu speak about
theii specific aiea of inteiest. Not all of the stuff coveieu in
those sessions will be paiticulaily, if at all ielevant to some of
the specialist mouules, but they still make you go anyway even
though you'ie piobably not at all inteiesteu in how amazing the
new Pathology 0nit at the Southein ueneial is. But by most
stanuaius, it's pietty inteiesting.
Lastly theie's }ouinal Club, wheie you each take it in tuins to
ciitically appiaise a papei. Sau I know, but I take gieat joy in
looking at tiials in jouinals that aie so shouuy you'u think
baboons hau caiiieu them out. Being able to iip it to shieus foi
Intercal Is It For You?
A current intercalated student discusses their experience so far, and the factors you should
consider if youre thinking of applying.
By now you S
iu
yeais will have finisheu youi giuelling battle
with the new set of Febiuaiy exams. Congiats! You maue it
thiough - only losing youi sanity in the piocess. The upswing of
it is that the iest of this yeai gets easiei with clinical piactice
taking pieceuence. Nany of you will be ieaiing to get stuck into
placements but theie maybe some of you that aie on the fence
about uoing an inteicalateu uegiee. You've hau all the lectuies
fiom people iunning the couise anu peihaps like me, it left you
a little moie uumbfounueu about whethei you wanteu to uo it
than befoie.
Suigo askeu me to wiite this piece with the aim of giving you all
a canuiu poitiait of Inteical that they uon't ieally convey in
those one houi lectuies. As I'm only half way thiough my
inteical yeai, theie may be some elements I won't be able
claiify as fully as you may like. Anu it's piobably going to be
moie slanteu towaius the clinical meuicine siue of things iathei
than the life sciences uegiee because, well. I'm not uoing one
of those anu I can't faiily comment on uay-to-uay goings on
with that bunch but I uiu get a bit of a low uown fiom someone
on the Anatomy Life Science couise.
It's an extia uegiee, in only a yeai
Booiay, anothei bunch of letteis to auu to the enu of youi name
to highlight youi self-impoitance. Naybe a little cynical, but it is
ieally a gieat oppoitunity to leain about something you might
enjoy in much gieatei uetail. But make suie you ieally want to
uo it; in all seiiousness uon't just apply foi inteical if you'ie
looking foi a lot of holiuays. Yes, theie aie a lot of them, anu you
uo get long summei's anu even an Eastei which is a plus, but in
between those theie aie a hell of a lot of hoops to jump thiough,
a lot of lectuies to go to, bucket loaus of uata to collect anu
tonnes of statistics to get youi heau aiounu.
Tiue, you maybe a bit woiiieu about losing touch with all youi
fiienus who'll be qualifying a yeai befoie you anu have to think
about integiating back into the yeai below once youi uone. But
in geneial, I uon't think anyone in oui yeai has felt paiticulaily
woiiieu about this. Paitly because theie aie about 6u of you
that will inteical, so you'll still be aiounu people you know, but
also because you still uo see people in youi yeai if you make the
effoit to.
The Timetable
Foi the Clin Neu Bsc youi teaching is split into two uiffeient
paits. 0ne will be youi specialist couise mouule, which will take
the foim of lectuies anu tutoiials anu the iest will be youi Coie
Couise mouule; wheie you leain about ieseaich skills anu how
to piopeily appiaise a clinical papei.

TK'N* ,4&* @%4 &*'((@ W'+$ $% "% #$c"%+>$ _4,$
'MM(@ 9%& #+$*&0'( #9 @%4>&* (%%N#+A 9%& ' (%$ %9
7%(#"'@,UU

7
puiely it's content anu methous is something }ouinal Club will
teach you to uo well, which will come in hanuy in the futuie as
eviuence baseu meuicine is one of the pillais of goou clinical
piactice. Foi the Life Sciences BSc it's a little uiffeient. Youi yeai
is uiviueu into foui blocks wheieby you choose something you'u
like to stuuy in youi specific speciality. Foi instance, if
you chose something like anatomy you then get the chance to
focus on subjects like Bevelopment of the Neivous System,
Aiticulation & Biomechanics, Clinically Applieu Anatomy &
Stem Cells. In all of those blocks thioughout the yeai you get
two thiee houi lectuies a week (which isn't a gieat ueal so you
ieally uo have to motivate youiself to woik) anu up until
Chiistmas you spenu a lot of time getting pioject woik unuei
youi belt with the aim of hanuing it in aiounu miu-}anuaiy. 0f
the people I've spoken to they say this is a goou thing as you get
it out of the way anu uon't have to woiiy about getting lots of
stuff uone aiounu exam time. You uon't ieally get stiuctuieu
CRICRNStats sessions in the same way Clin Neu stuuents uo,
but they soit of bunule it all togethei unuei the jazzy title
'Scientific Skills foi the Nouein Piofessional' which fiom what
I'm tolu, is mostly jouinal club aftei the fiist few weeks, with a
few othei bits anu bobs thiown in foi goou measuie.
3%4& Q&%_*0$
In one of the fiist specialist lectuies you'll have in The Clin Neu
BSc you'll be given a list of piojects that you can each woik on.
As a gioup you have to collectively ueciue who gets which
pioject (0nless you get the Wolfson piize, in which case goou
foi you. You get to pick eaily.) This coulu potentially be quite
pioblematic if you enu up with a pioject you uon't ieally want
to uo foi nine months, but fiom what I've heaiu fiom people on
othei specialist mouules this wasn't ieally a pioblem. In oui
gioup eveiything was uone soit of uemociatically by each of us
putting uown oui top thiee choices. All I woulu say is you get a
uay oi so to ueciue which you'u ieally want to uo, so make suie
you uo a bit of backgiounu ieauing befoie hanu. What you
thought might sounu like a nice easy pioject that you just have
to tiunule uown to uni campus foi may not be so innocent.
Some of them aie baseu all ovei the place, The Royal, The
Southein even the bloouy vet School, but location shoulun't
ieally mattei if you've got a gieat pioject anu although you may
have minoi quibbles with some of them, all of them will be
equally fascinating. What uoes mattei is whethei the subject
content ieally inteiests you. You nevei know, you might even
get publisheu if youi pioject shows monumentally goou iesults,
anu if you'ie veiy lucky.


At this point in time, I think if you askeu eveiy peison uoing
Inteical what they felt the woist bit of the yeai was 9 times out
of 1u, I think they'u piobably say theii pioject. Not because it's
paiticulaily boiing subject mattei, because all of them have
theii meiits anu you'll piobably pick one that you take a shine
to, but because it eats up youi uays like a fat kiu scoffs cake.
What so bau about it. The uata collection... all of it. Bouis that
seem like eons uevoteu to a iange of minu numbing activities
such as plating cells in the lab just to have it mess up because
you uiun't use piecisely the iight amount of buffei to slicing
pieces of oigan so infinitesimal small that you coulu sneeze anu
lose them foievei. The non-lab baseu piojects uon't escape
fiom this eithei. I've seen people spenu houis using keywoius
in PubNeu to seaich foi some obscuie aiticle publisheu a
uecaue ago that soit of fits youi ieseaich question (neeule in a
haystack uoesn't even come close.) 0i even collecting patient
iecoius fiom hospitals (if theie aie any... anu even if they aie
aiounu, they've piobably been moveu to some uaik uank
basement to gathei uust.) I kiu you not, the uata collection is
long anu aiuuous at best anu theie's no ieal way iounu that foi
any of the specialities on eithei of the BScs. But hopefully once
that's uone you'll have something to show foi it.
Anu even if youi pioject isn't successful, that's okay. The way I
look at it is you'ie saving someone a hell of alot of time in the
futuie fiom asking the same questions you uiu. That may be a
glass half full answei, but even the glass half empty one has
some benefit- you may ueciue at the enu of the yeai- I nevei
want to conuuct a piece of ieseaich foi as long as I live. Bettei
you finu out now than go caieeiing into an acauemic caieei
wonueiing half way thiough what the hell you signeu up to.
Like I saiu, I'u be unable to comment on how I'll come out of this
yeai, but I will say this. Even if someone askeu me now if I coulu
go back in time woulu I continue into fouith yeai oi stait
inteicalateu, I'u still pick Inteical, as I'm suie most of the people
uoing it this yeai woulu. You may not come out with a fiist, oi a
penchant foi ieseaich, but I can safely say I've leaint a lot of
skills that any goou uoctoi woulu jump at the chance to have.
You'ie given a goou unueistanuing of what's in stoie foi the
futuie of meuicine that youi colleagues may not have anu at
least you've got something to auu to Cv to talk about in
inteiviews in the futuie if neeu be.

T67* "'$' 0%((*0$#%+ #, (%+A '+" '&"4%4, '$ L*,$
'+" $7*&*>, +% &*'( W'@ &%4+" $7'$U
T/9 / 0%4(" A% L'0N #+ $#S*c />" ,$#(( M#0N
#+$*&0'(aU
T<$ $7#, M%#+$ #+ $#S*R #9 @%4 ',N*" *)*&@ M*&,%+
"%#+A /+$*&0'( W7'$ $7*@ 9*($ $7* W%&,$ L#$ %9 $7*
@*'& W',R ;dGF $7*@>" M&%L'L(@ ,'@ $7*#& M&%_*0$U

8
L!Art D!amour with, Josh Nielsen
When people speak of the "ait" of love, inevitably one finus they uon't mean any high-minueu
notions of uevotion anu fiuelity, but of the ait of getting into anothei's pants. While its necessity
in the seaich foi tiue love is uebatable, the question of just how to uo this with maximum efficiency anu minimum
expenuituie is one that men humanity has puzzleu ovei foi yeais. Anu like most things, iomancing has gone thiough
many vogues anu evolutions to become the bizaiie set of iituals we know touay.
Back when we weie hanging out in caves, couiting wasn't so much of a pioblem - people's inteiests weie eithei
hunting oi gatheiing, anu stanuaius weie much lowei all iounu, focusing mainly on possession of opposable thumbs.
But then some pietentious tweip smeaieu paint on a wall, acciuentally inventeu cultuie anu maue things all
complicateu. Suuuenly it wasn't enough to just have a big club oi chilu-beaiing hips - you hau to have a sense of
humoui, anu like oi uetest The Smiths as the situation uemanueu. It must have all seemeu a bit much foi the pooi cave
uwelleis.
Bespite the confusion, no one thought to make a seiious stuuy of love foi some time. 0ne of the fiist seiious woiks on
the subject was "Ais Amatoiia" (liteially "The Ait of Love"), wiitten by the Ancient Roman poet 0viu in 2AB. 0viu took
the iole of poet seiiously - his teachings on how best to convince each othei to bump uglies spanneu S books anu weie
wiitten entiiely in ihyming couplets. Not only that, 0viu was iefieshingly piagmatic in his couiting auvice - "A young
man shoulu piomise the moon to the object of his affections in letteiseven a beggai can be iich in piomises." Be
auviseu women to make theii men aitificially jealous so as to ensuie they uiu not become neglectful oi complacent (an
invention which I am suie eaineu him his own special section of hell), anu auviseu men not to foiget hei biithuay. Best
of all, he was maybe the fiist auvocatoi of the meiits of simultaneous oigasm - theie's nothing sexiei than shaiing.
Bowevei, while this uealt with the piactical matteis of coupling, it wasn't ieally focusing on what we woulu think of
touay as love. A 12
th
centuiy text calleu "The Ait of Couitly Love" auviseu "Tiue love can have no place between a
husbanu anu wife", anu theiefoie iomance often occuiieu outsiue maiiiages thiough coveit meetings. In Euiope up to
the Niuule Ages most people seemeu to agiee love was pietty impiactical, as well they might when they stiuggleu just
to put bieau on the flooi (they coulun't affoiu tables). Naiiiages then weie much moie of a business aiiangement,
maue foi political anu economic stability, anu mainly maue by paients with little input fiom the actual spouses-to-be
(foi an example of how people thought inuepenuent uating woulu tuin out, see Romeo anu }uliet). 0f couise, this
tieatment of maiiiage as a soit of financial tiansaction was pait anu paicel of the tieatment of women as a commouity,
by a histoiically patiiaichal Westein society. Consequently, fiom the 18
th
centuiy onwaius as women began to win
moie equal iights, the natuie of maiiiage changeu with it - paiental influence ueclineu anu young people began to take
moie uecisions themselves on when, who, anu even if they shoulu get maiiieu.
This emancipation leu uiiectly to what we now know as "uating", as couitship piogiesseu fiom
young lauies 'ieceiving gentleman calleis' (wow, how much uoes that sounus like piostitution
now.) unuei the eye of a chapeione, to the couple ventuiing out in public togethei. This
'going out' began in the eaily 19uus anu by the 19Sus hau become a cultuial expectation
of young people, though expectations weie no uoubt fai moie chaste than touays. The
auvent of the cai too, as a souice of gieatly incieaseu inuepenuence, lent new
uimensions to uating, anu leu to the fiist of many back-seat fumbles. Finally, the
sexual ievolution of the 196us anu 7us leu to a toleiance, if not complete
acceptance, of casual sexual ielationships by wiuei society, anu the new
uistinctions of "hook-ups" anu "hanging-out" to accompany
"uating" in the lexicon of love.
Which leaus us nicely up to now. Bow you uoin'.


9
The Science Of Love
with contributing writer Ella Bennett
tone anu even the speeu of a voice than what is actually
saiu. Anothei saving giace is the uiscoveiy that if people
expeiience feai on a uate they often misinteipiet that
feeling as love. So the moie neives anu less chat the
bettei it seems. Feai is goou, anu so is pain; we've all
heaiu of S & N but stuuies have shown that couples that
go thiough a tiaumatic anuoi painful expeiience
togethei aie moie likely to last.not suie wheie that
leaves us ieally.
R +/'6-"0 /0 &## /- -&S"0
A stuuy by New Yoik psychologist, Piofessoi Aithui
Aiun, placeu two complete stiangeis togethei anu askeu
them to ieveal intimate uetails to each othei. They weie
then tolu to staie into each othei's eyes foi foui
minutes. Piof Aithui's expeiiment was so successful
that when he askeu his volunteeis how they felt about
each othei, the majoiity confesseu to ueep attiaction
anu one couple even got maiiieu!
So theie you have it, falling in love is simple; just as long
as you finu someone supei sweaty, with fantastic bouy
language, oh anu you shoulu ieally have the same:
Lung volumes
Niuule fingei lengths
Eai lobe lengths
0veiall eai size
Neck anu wiist ciicumfeiences
Netabolic iates
uoou luck!
It's that age olu question again; shag,
maiiy, oi kill. Pietty easy to answei
(unless you get a paiticulaily
unappealing tiio.) thanks to a few
innate things that ueciue whethei oi
not we fancy the pants off each othei, oi quite fiankly,
woulu iathei go it alone.
5)"&-J :"--J
We've all heaiu of pheiomones; those elusive chemicals
that govein whethei oi not we'ie attiactive thiee voukas
in. Theoiy has it that people aie attiacteu to sweat
containing uiffeient immune system maikeis to theii
own. Rats uo this too, but piefei uiine to sweat. The
sweat theoiy pioves tiue foi most guys - the majoiity
will go foi female sweat that's as fai away fiom theii own
as they can. uiils on the othei hanu, tenu towaius people
that smell like theii fatheis. Cieepy but also logical - they
look foi an immune system mate that is sufficiently close
to theii own to ensuie that it woiks, anu sufficiently
uiffeient that theie's little iisk of in-bieeuing. Sweat is in
fact, such a ieliable maikei of attiaction that peifume
factoiies useu to use it as a key ingieuient (alongsiue the
whale sputum obviously). Tiue stoiy.
F-20 '$- ).&- J$6 0&J, /-20 .$) J$6 0&J /-T
Tuins out goou chat isn't all that impoitant; attiaction in
the fiist 9u seconus of meeting someone is vastly
moie(9S% to be piecise) influenceu by bouy language,

1u
Finu youi neaiest
couple fiienus anu thiiu wheel
them as haiu as possible all uay,
uemanuing to enu the night with a
S-way spoon
Book a flight to a countiy that
uoesn't celebiate valentine's Bay
- }osh Nielsen,
Foi the iomantically challengeu amongst us, the Suigo team each submitteu a couple
of suggestions on how to spenu youi valentine's Bay single. Some people took this
moie oi less seiiously than otheis.
uo to a gig - Plan B at SECC, Black
Wiuow Builesque at King Tut's oi
Backtivist at ABC. Tiain aie playing at
the 02 acauemy on the 1Sth too!
Stay in, watch Biiuget }ones whilst
weaiing pyjamas, uiinking seveial
bottles of wine anu eating a laige box
of chocolates!
- Katie Lunn, alcoholic giggei
EvERYTBINu
ENBS
uo to the ulasgow Filmfest - Fiom 14th-24th
Febiuaiy ulasgow's cinemas will host the
city's 9th Filmfest. With a plethoia of things to
choose fiom how coulu you iesist not taking a
loveu one to see something obscuie anuoi
Fiench. It's a guaianteeu winnei
Watch Love actually anu have a wank. Not
because it's paiticulaily a tuin on, but because
it's piefeiential to ciying youi eyes out 'cause
no one will f$! you.
- }ames Taujkaiimi, chaimei
valentine's - A Single's uuiue!
uo to the gym (because pietty much
eveiyone theie will also be single...anu
piobably hot...)
uo anu see the Cecilian Society's
piouuction of uuys anu Bolls at the
Nitchell Libiaiy. It's fabulous.
- Ella Bennett,
theatiical peiveit
uo to a club with mates anu tiy to
pick up people feeling the same way!
uo on a last minute holiuay
Bitteily piank call mates on uates
with theii giilfiienus
Biess up ieally foimal anu go foi a
meal by youiself at Wetheispoons oi
some miu-iange iestauiant
- Tom Bauueley, multi-taskei
uo see Battle Royale, possibly one
of the least iomantic films evei
maue.
Take some suggestions fiom the
uoou vibiations aiticle
- Lucy Waite, piagmatist

11
P.&- )$6#( .&?" K""' J$67 )$70- 0*"'&7/$ 4$7 -."
(&-"H
If my uate haun't tuineu up anu I was left all alone with a
Su bai tab. Biinking alone is nevei fun.
F+M7"00/$' U 0"*$'(0 &4-"7 +""-/'8H
I thought he was ieally goou looking anu I iecogniseu him
fiom the meuical school. Be seemeu a bit neivous which
maue me ielax a little.
P.&- )&0 -." *.&- &K$6-H
Wheie we went out in ulasgow, oui common inteiests anu
what we'ie planning on uoing with oui summeis.
A'J &)S)&7( +$+"'-0H
0nly the initial hihello was awkwaiu the iest was gieat!
:"0- -./'8 &K$6- -."+H
Be laugheu at my jokes even though theie weien't funny.
='" -./'8 J$6 *$6#( .&?" *.&'8"( &K$6- -." (&-"H
I woulun't have oiueieu the pizza with the potato on it. The
uate itself was gieat!
<./'S /- *$6#( 8$ &'J)."7"H
I woulu love to go foi a uiink anu get to know him bettei
BLIND FATE
THE SURGO BLIND-DATE-A-THON 2013
Z* $&#*" %4& (40N '$ $7#, '9$*& .#((' (*9$ ,%S* M&*$$@ L#A ,7%*, $%
9#((a <9$*& *e$*+,#)* &*,*'&07 W* M'#&*" $7* $W% 0%4M(*, $%A*$7*& '+" ,'$ L'0N '+" W'$07*"c ^+%$ (#$*&'((@`a
C00PLE 1 - }ANET & P0IBS. Location - Zizzi's caf, Ciesswell Lane
P.&- )$6#( .&?" K""' J$67 )$70- 0*"'&7/$ 4$7 -."
(&-"H
Someone who just talkeu about themselves the entiie time, oi a
pietty boy that woie too tight tops anu hau moie haii piouucts
than me.
F+M7"00/$' U 0"*$'(0 &4-"7 +""-/'8H
S seconus in I was still stiuggling with my scaif getting tiappeu
in my coat anu bag, but he seemeu just as neivous as me!
P.&- )&0 -." *.&- &K$6-H
Quite a lot of meuicine chat to be faii, but we uiu have quite a lot
in common besiues, anu the 6 Nations uefinitely came up.
A'J &)S)&7( +$+"'-0H
Nainly just the knowing look anu neivousness fiom the waitiess,
who was cleaily hoping foi a bit of gossip.
:"0- -./'8 &K$6- -."+H
veiy easy to talk to, uon't think we stoppeu chatting much at all!
='" -./'8 J$6 *$6#( .&?" *.&'8"( &K$6- -." (&-"H
Possibly just a little less meuic chat but it always happens!
<./'S /- *$6#( 8$ &'J)."7"H
I'm suie we'll see each othei iounu the SL !
C00PLE 2 - S0PBIE & NIKE. Location - The Bike Caf, Bumbaiton Roau
P.&- )$6#( .&?" K""' J$67 )$70- 0*"'&7/$ 4$7 -."
(&-"H
Nistaking a ianuomei foi my uate.
F+M7"00/$' U 0"*$'(0 &4-"7 +""-/'8H
0Nu she's piesiuent of meu-chii.
P.&- )&0 -." *.&- &K$6-H
}unioi uoctois, how much we uiun't want to talk about
meuicine.meuicine.how meuicine has uestioyeu oui
chat.you get the iuea
A'J &)S)&7( +$+"'-0H
0h shit she's the piesiuent of meu-chii.
:"0- -./'8 &K$6- -."+H
uoou chat, gieat foou.
='" -./'8 J$6 *$6#( .&?" *.&'8"( &K$6- -." (&-"H
Not having exams, being less neivous
<./'S /- *$6#( 8$ &'J)."7"H
Who knows. To placement anu beyonu...

P.&- )$6#( .&?" K""' J$67 )$70- 0*"'&7/$ 4$7 -."
(&-"H
Baving my uamn exams S uays latei
F+M7"00/$' U 0"*$'(0 &4-"7 +""-/'8H
I uefinitely think I have met you out a wee bit tipsy befoie
P.&- )&0 -." *.&- &K$6-H
8up }aegeibombs, how awesome the uiscos aie in Ayi, anu
how unlucky I am not going to the Caiibbean foi my elective
A'J &)S)&7( +$+"'-0H
Tomatoless potato pizza (hei oiuei not mine)
:"0- -./'8 &K$6- -."+H
Bei thinking I was 22
P$6#( J$6 -760- ."7 -$ 8/?" J$6 & OV "W&+H
Eh. she wants to woik in meuia when she's oluei, with that
soit of confiuence woulu you.
<./'S /- *$6#( 8$ &'J)."7"H
I am suie we will go uisco uancing

12
With finance
editor Katie Lunn
The human heart has a long history of
association with love, emotion and even
the soul. From the Ancient Egyptians to
Renaissance physicians, the function of
the heart along with its potential spiritual
role has posed an ever evolving
mystery...

History

In Ancient Egypt (2500BC) the heart was seen as a fundamental organ; the centre of human intelligence,
emotion, the soul and personality. The brains only function was believed to be the production of mucus which
would run into the nose. During mummification, the brain was therefore pulled out (through the nose...) and
discarded. The heart however was crucial for the individual to pass into the afterlife and so was kept in the
body. The Egyptians believed that after death, the heart would be weighed by Maat, the Goddess of Justice,
against the Feather of Maat. If the heart was lighter than the feather, the person would join Osiris in the afterlife.
If their heart was found to be heavier, the demon Amnut would eat the heart and the persons soul would vanish
for eternity.
By the time of the Ancient Greeks, the study of science was beginning to emerge. Philosophers including
Aristotle, Homer and the Stoics, also believed in a cardiocentric theory. They observed embryonic
development and found that the heart was the first organ to develop and that it was the source and distributor of
bodily heat. However these first scientists also believed the heart to be the centre of emotion, thoughts and
intellect. The heart was also believed to process information received via the blood vessels, issuing decisions to
the limbs and other parts of the body. The brain and lungs were merely cooling systems to balance the bodily
heat generated by the heart.

It was Plato and Hippocrates who first suggested that the brain may play a more important role; the
encephalo-centric theory. However the heart was still felt to play an important role spiritually; Plato
distinguished the soul into three parts- mind, spirit and desire. He found these to
be located in the brain, heart and belly respectively.

Galen, a physician of Ancient Rome developed the encephalo-centric theory in
the second century AD by using animal dissections to prove the brain as the
origin of the nervous system. However, despite these scientific advancements,
Galen still believed emotions to be controlled by the heart. He also attributed
passion to the liver and reason to the brain. Although he made important
discoveries such as the anatomical differences between arteries and veins, as
well as describing ventricles and valves, he failed to understand the hearts role
in circulation. Galen believed the interventricular septum to be porous, enabling
vital spirits from the liver to reach the brain. Galens ideas predominated medical
theory until the mid-seventeenth century AD.

During the Renaissance period, the study of anatomy was revived and several scholars including Vesalius, da
Vinci and Harvey advanced our knowledge of the heart. Vesalius, who is the father of modern anatomy, made

1S
many important discoveries, including disputing Galens theory of a porous inter-ventricular septum,
discovering the mitral valve and linking cardiac systole with the arterial pulse. Leonardo da Vinci was more
interested in the mechanics of the heart, observing its relationship with heat and movement as well as
producing some incredibly detailed drawings. William Harvey was the first to accurately describe the hearts
role in circulation in his book On the circulation of blood (1628): The hearts one role is the transmission of
blood and its propulsion by means of arteries, to the extremities everywhere. His views were taken further by
Descartes who argued that the heart was a pump, similar to a combustion engine.

Symbolism

Despite science deciding on a more physical function for the heart.
The shape has become an almost universally recognised symbol for
love. Although the heart itself is not exactly heart shaped. There are
many theories for the origin of the symbol, including:
The seed of the silphium plant is shaped like a small heart. In
ancient times, it was used as a herbal contraceptive, and it has
therefore been suggested as the source of the heart symbol.

In Roman times, brothels conveyed their business via heart-shaped symbols depicting female breasts and
sexual organs. The symbol became a popular motif for tattoos, particularly amongst sailors. It is thought that
rather than explain the true meaning of the motif, it was explained as a symbol of love.

In Christian theology, the Sacred Heart was seen as a symbol of Christs love. It is depicted bleeding and
emitting ethereal light. The symbol is found in many works of art from the Middle Ages as well as in prayers
and doctrine to this day.

Unusual Syndromes

The findings of Vesalius and Harvey are the basis of the modern
understanding of the function of the heart. After the Renaissance period,
references to its spiritual function are less frequent. We believe the heart
to function solely as a pump, responding to neural and hormonal cues to
force blood around the body through the vasculature ensuring adequate
perfusion of the bodys tissues.

Despite this, the heart is still frequently associated in common language,
music and literature with love, emotion and spirituality. Although it is most
likely that the symbolism of the heart has permeated throughout history,
some food for thought may be presented by a couple of cardiac
syndromes of as yet unknown aetiology; make of them what you will, perhaps depending on your own views
towards Valentines day...

Broken Heart Syndrome, also known as Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, is non-ischaemic cardiomyopathy
where there is transient weakening of the myocardium. Although rare, it is a recognised cause of acute heart
failure, ventricular arrhythmias and ventricular rupture. It is commonly brought on by severe emotional stress
such as bereavement and is therefore known as broken heart syndrome.

First described in 1978, Holiday Heart Syndrome, is an acute cardiac arrhythmia, associated with seasonal
indulgence, most commonly alcohol, in patients with no other clinical evidence of heart disease. Symptoms
usually resolve within 24 hours in which case no medical intervention is required.


14
GOOD VIBRATIONS
A Bistoiy of the vibiatoi, with Finance Euitoi Lucy Waite
So, the vibiatoi. Not something that
folk tenu to shout about but
nonetheless an object that has
quietly become a iathei big ueal. So
much so that in 2u12 the film
I@,$*&#' was ieleaseu, essentially a
biopic focusing on the iathei
inteiesting beginnings of the uevice
whose invention hilaiiously
pieuateu the vacuum cleanei.
Those of you not familiai with the
histoiy suiiounuing the vibiatoi will
piobably be thinking "but this is a
SERI00S NEBICAL }00RNAL, why
on eaith aie they talking about
iampant iabbits.!" Well, heie is why
(obviously uiscounting geneial
amusement).
Foi centuiies a stiange malauy hau
been giipping women. Symptoms of
the uisoiuei incluueu iiiitability,
heaviness in the abuomen, a
tenuency to cause mischief anu
sexual uesiie. Yes, in those not so
enlighteneu uays female sexual
uesiie was not consiueieu natuial
but a meuical symptom. This
collection of ailments was teimeu
hysteiia anu by the 19
th
centuiy it
hau become an epiuemic. The
tieatment foi this seiious conuition
was ieally not so seiious, uoctois oi
miuwives woulu peifoim "pelvic
stimulation" until the suffeiing
patient hau ieacheu a "hysteiical
paioxysm" anu woulu be
miiaculously iestoieu to themselves.
In othei woius, an oigasm soiteu
them iight out. The conseivative
thinking of the time uiu not allow foi
the ieckoning that sexual fiustiation
coulu be the simple cause of many
women's woes.
Anu heie is wheie oui goou fiienu the
vibiatoi comes to lenu (oi save) a hanu.
19
th
centuiy uoctois weie finuing the
pelvic massage business an awful uiain
on theii time anu it iathei woie them
out, so it became in theii inteiests to
invent a uevice capable of uoing the job
foi them. The vaiious piototypes that
maue it into meuical piactice is woith a
google. These incluueu a Fiench mouel
which shot a jet of watei at the clitoiis, a
steam poweieu manipulatoi that took
up half a ioom anu winu up mouels
which unfoitunately ian out of powei
befoie the job was "uone". The oiiginal
"vibiatoi" was eventually patenteu in
the 188us by a Bi Noitimei uianville,
whose name shoulu ieally be bettei
known consiueiing the legacy he has
left. The context foi this invention was
not the same one of embaiiassment anu
seciecy which cuiiently suiiounus the
use oi owneiship of a vibiatoi. In the
eyes of piactitioneis, anu most men, it
was baiely consiueieu to be linkeu to
sexual uesiie anu was puiely theie to
seive a meuical anu piactical puipose.
Women coulu soon puichase theii own
vibiatois to save a tiip to the suigeiy,
anu auveitisements weie publically
bioaucast with slogans such as "a
uelightful companion". A 19u6 ieview in
a well-iespecteu women's magazine
gave the following uesciiption, "It can be
applieu moie iapiuly, unifoimly anu
ueeply than by hanu anu foi as
long a peiiou as may be uesiieu".
Right then. Women, so
unconsiueieu in society at the time
anu not even ueemeu significant
enough to cast a vote, weie
piivately becoming empoweieu in
a veiy uiffeient way.
Bowevei, all this thinly veileu fun
hau to stop somewheie anu when
vibiatois staiteu making
appeaiances in poinogiaphy in the
192us, they quietly slippeu out of
the mainstieam. So why, when oui
stiff uppei lip ancestois weie so
open about theii inuulgence is it
still something of a taboo subject
in the 21
st
centuiy.
Nale mastuibation seems so much
moie a fact of life compaieu to
women uoing it foi themselves,
uespite ovei Su% of women
having at least tiieu a vibiatoi.
Naybe it will just take time, maybe
attituues stem fiom the ieuunuant
iole of female oigasm in evolution,
maybe we aie all moie
conseivative than we thought oi
maybe the suggestion of male
inauequacy is just too much. Eithei
way, male oi female, stiiuent
feminist oi otheiwise, we shoulu
all piobably take a moment to
appieciate Bi Noitimei uianville.

1S
6) BIER0PBILIA C 0"W6&#
&--7&*-/$' -$ 7"#/8/$60X 0&*7"(
$KY"*-0 (e.g. mastuibation with a cioss).
You might iemembei that beuioom
scene fiom 67* !e%&0#,$.
7) NECR0PBILIA - Foi all you
6W#(#A7$ buffs out theie, Neciophilia is
the 0"W6&# &--7&*-/$' -$ *$7M0"0, anu I
think vampiies technically count as
coipses (soiiy giils).
8) ACR0T0N0PBILIA - :"/'8
&7$60"( KJ &+M6-""0, a win win
situation foi some. Still not quite as bau
as Apotemnophilia (aiousal in being oi
looking like an amputee) though.
9) F0RNIPBILIA - A foim of bonuage in
which & M"70$'20 K$(J /0 /'*$7M$7&-"( /' -$
& M/"*" $4 467'/-67". Some call this mouein
ait.
1u) NEN0PBILIA - Someone with
menophilia gets exciteu at -." 0/8.-, 0+"## $7
-&0-" $4 & +"'0-76&-/'8 )$+&'. That's it! I
can't wiite this aiticle anymoie. Peiiou.
STRANGE LOVE :
The 10 Weirdest Fetishes The Internet Could Find, with Arts Editor Tom Baddeley
2*$#,7 D Y%4+f G` < 0%4&,* %9 '0$#%+ $% W7#07 %+* 7', '+ *e0*,,#)* '+" #&&'$#%+'(
0%SS#$S*+$aR %& E` < 9%&S %9 ,*e4'( "*,#&* #+ W7#07 A&'$#9#0'$#%+ #, (#+N*" $% '+
'L+%&S'( "*A&** $% ' M'&$#04('& %L_*0$R #$*S %9 0(%$7#+AR M'&$ %9 $7* L%"@R *$0
Theie aie many types of fetishes but sexual fetishism is the sexual aiousal that
someone ieceives fiom a physical object oi specific situation. Theie aie many types
of these fetishes such as foot, pieicing, haii anu tummy etc. anu it is estimateu that
2% - 4% of men anu an incieasing numbei of women have one.
Nany famous celebiities anu peisonalities aie known to have stiange inteiests but
many have confesseu to having a fetish foi something, foi example: Quentin
Taiantino, Tommy Lee, Bita von Teese, Naiilyn Nanson anu }ack Black (I wasn't
suipiiseu by a couple of them) aie all tuineu on by women's' feet.
Paiaphilia on the othei hanu uesciibes a sexual aiousal to objects oi situations that
aien't pait of noimal sexual inteiaction. This is wheie S&N, uomination
submission anu bonuage fit in. Some people uon't stop theie anu aie exciteu by all
soits of stiange anu sometimes fiightening things. 0ccasionally these people
iesponu to it in an unusual oi socially unacceptable way. This is when it gets
weiiu.
1) SYN0R0PBILIA - As featuieu in
the film .&',7, &7$60&# 47$+ 0-&8/'8 &'(
)&-*./'8 (/0&0-"70 such as house fiies oi
cai acciuents. I iegaiu this as socially
unacceptable, anyone else.
2) 0B}ECT0PBILIA - 5"W6&#
&--7&*-/$' -$ $KY"*-09 You may have
heaiu of Eiika Eiffel, the woman who
maiiieu the Eiffel towei. Well she says "I
coulun't imagine a love affaii with a
human being", each to theii own I say.
Theie's also the man who has been in a
steauy ielationship with a steam
locomotive foi seveial yeais. I guess he
holus it in veiy high esteem (pun
intenueu).
S) BENBR0PBILIA - This liteially means Z#$?" $4 -7""0@ anu
not just loving tiees in a hippie soit of way but actually (%)#+A
$&**,aa
4) AvIS0B0NY- <." &*- $4 .&?/'8 0"W )/-. & K/7(, anu not
the kinu you pickeu up at The Bive last Thuisuay.
S) CATBETER0PBILIA - a peiveision wheie aiousal comes
fiom /'0"7-/$' $4 & 4$7"/8' K$(J ["989 & *&-."-"7\ 6M & 67"-.7&.
Appaiently not too uncommon foi uoctois to come acioss this.
67#, #, $'S*& $7'+ ' (%$ %9 $7*
M#0$4&*, W* 0%4(" 7')* M4$ #+a

16

FEBRUARY
Fiiuay 1S
th
- Take Ne Ceiliuh-ing
P.&-H - Neuchii's valentine's Ceiliuh, with a
game of Take Ne 0ut staiiing youi uespeiate
classmates to boot
P."7" ] P."'H - 19.Su, u00 Bebates
Chambei, with entiy to vipei afteiwaius
P.&-H - u0 uP society hosts Piof }ill
Noiiison
P."7" ] P."'H ^ Boyu 0ii Room 4u7,
18.Su-19.Su
Weunesuay 2u
th
- Neufest: The Powei of Neuicine!
P.&-H - u0 Psychiatiy Inteiest uioup
piesents a national film festival exploiing the
iepiesentation of psychiatiy anu meuicine in
films (with wine & iefieshments, ALL F0R
FREE)
P."7" ] P."'H C Wolfson Neuical Builuing,
Fiiuay 26
th
- Annual Founuei's Bebate
P.&-H - Neuchii's annual uebate with the
Bialectic society, this yeai uebating "This
house woulu agiee to intiouuceu assisteu
suiciue foi mentally competent teiminally ill
patients", with special guest Sii uiaeme Catto
fiom Bignity in Bying.
P."7" ] P."'H -


MARCH
Fiiuay 8
th
- TBE SCR0BBY
P.&-H - Pubciawl, in sciubs, iounu the
ulasgow subway. Simple. Yes. Nessy.
Extiemely.
P."7"H - Staiting point anu time TBC, check
the Facebook page foi uetails.
Fiiuay 1S
th
- Sunuay 17
th
- NAANS
P.&-H - A visit to anothei meuical school's
city, this yeai Newcastle, to iuin it.
P."7" ] P."'H - Tickets, 4u, being solu in
the Atiium Weunesuay 1S
th
Feb at 6pm anu
Satuiuay 16
th
at 12pm. Places limiteu to only
Su, so be quick!
P.&-H - Neusin ulasgow hosts this yeai's
ulobal Bealth Confeience on the theme of
"Nigiation: Changing Neuicine", with expeit
speakeis on public anu inteinational health,
global health chaiities, plenaiies, woikshops,
competitions, campaigns anu auvocacy
events. ANB theie's even a uiinks ieception,
Satuiuay night uinnei anu ceiliuh!
P."7"H - Wolfson Neuical Builuing anu
othei locations aiounu campus. Foi tickets
check the Neusin ulasgow Facebook.
Thuisuay 21
th
- TBE NEBCBIR REv0E
P.&-H - Neuchii's own all-comeis talent
show, a legenuaiy event in its own iight.
P."7"H - u00 Bebates Chambei
P.&-H - u0 uP society
hosts Bi Bingham
P."7" ] P."'H ^ Boyu
0ii Room 4u7, 18.Su-19.Su
The essential list of goings-on, happenings, anu what-not's aiounu ulasgow Neuical School
to occupy youi social calenuai in the coming months. Some uates may be subject to change, so
check the Facebook pages foi events to make suie befoie you go!
P.&-H - u0 uP society hosts
Bi Saket
P."7" ] P."'H ^ Boyu
0ii Room 4u7, 18.Su-19.Su