Dealing With Conflict

A Process for Resolving Discord

Conflict. Emp. , 5/2004, Revised 1/2008, T265-16-Op Reproduction of material for use other than intended purpose requires the written consent of OptumHealth.

Training Programs
2008 OptumHealth

Agenda

Introduction What Is Conflict? Conflict Management Survey Five Conflict Management Styles P Procedures d f for C Conflict fli t Resolution R l ti Potential Outcomes Case Studies Closing

Learning Points
Learning Points
Define D fi th the impact i t of f conflict fli t in i the th workplace k l

Dealing With Conflict

A Process for Resolving Discord

Identify how and why conflicts arise Identify different styles of managing conflict Assess own conflict resolution style Discuss conflict negotiation options Apply and practice conflict resolution strategies

Conflict. Emp.5/2004, T265-15-LE Reproduction of material for use other than intended purpose requires the written consent of UBH.

Training Programs UBH 2004

Participants will:
Define the impact of conflict in the workplace Identify how and why conflicts arise Identify different styles of managing conflict Assess their own conflict resolution style Discuss conflict negotiation options Apply and practice conflict resolution strategies

What Is Conflict?
What Is Conflict?

Conflict may be defined as the perceived incompatible difference between two or more people that result in some form of interference or opposition, and may take many forms. Another definition is that conflict occurs when parties with contrasting goals come in contact with one another; a clash of opposing ideas. Looking at conflict, however, from the perspective of a problem to be solved results in a l emotionally less ti ll charged h d atmosphere, t h one which hi h encourages collaboration. ll b ti This Thi opens the th door to working with the other party rather than against him or her. In other words, conflict does not have to be a confrontation to be overcome; it can simply be a problem to be solvedan opportunity to identify areas for change and improvement. .

To begin the process of resolving conflict appropriately, the first step is to identify your conflict management style.

Conflict Management Style Survey

Instructions Consider your workplace and answer the following questions. Allocate 10 points among the four alternative responses given for each item below. Be certain your answers add up to 10. Example When others around me become involved in an interpersonal conflict, I usually: Intervene to Call a meeting to talk Offer to help if I can Ignore the problem settle the dispute it over 3 6 1 0

When someone who is important to me is actively hostile toward me, i.e. yelling, threatening, abusive, etc., I tend to: Respond in a Try to persuade the Stay and listen as Walk away hostile manner person to give up long as possible his/her actively hostile behavior _____ _____ _____ _____ When someone who is relatively unimportant to me is actively hostile toward me, i.e. yelling, threatening, abusive, etc., I tend to: Respond in a Try to persuade the Stay and listen as Walk away hostile manner person to give up long as possible his/her actively hostile behavior _____ _____ _____ _____ When I observe people in conflicts in which anger, threats, hostility and strong opinions are present I tend to: Become Attempt to mediate Observe to see what Leave as quickly involved and happens pp as p possible take a position
_____ _____ _____ _____

Conflict Management Style Survey

When I perceive another person as meeting his/her needs at my expense, I am apt to: Work to do anyRely on persuasion Work hard at Accept the thing I can to and facts when changing how I situation as it is change that person attempting to have relate to that person that person change _____ _____ _____ _____

When involved in an interpersonal dispute, my general pattern is to: Draw the other Examine the issues Look hard for a person into seeing between us as workable the problem as I do logically as possible compromise _____ _____ _____

Let time take its course and let the problem work itself out _____

The quality I value most in dealing with conflict would be: Emotional Intelligence Love and openness strength and security _____ _____ _____

Patience _____

Following a serious altercation with someone important to me, I: Strongly desire to go Want to go back and Worry about it a lot Let it lie and not back, settle things work it out, whatever but not plan to initiate plan to initiate my way give-and-take is further contact further contact necessary _____ _____ _____ _____

When I see a serious conflict developing between two people important to me, I tend to: Express my Attempt to persuade Watch to see what Leave the scene disappointment them to resolve their develops that this had to differences happen _____ _____ _____ _____

Conflict Management Style Survey

When I see a serious conflict developing between two people who are relatively unimportant to me I tend to: Express my Attempt to persuade Watch to see what Leave the scene disappointment them to resolve their develops that this had to differences happen _____ _____ _____ _____ The feedback I receive from most people about how I behave when faced with conflict and opposition indicates that I: Try hard to get Try to work out Am easygoing and Usually avoid my way differences take a soft or the conflict cooperatively conciliatory position _____ _____ _____ _____ When communicating with someone with whom I am having a serious conflict, I: Try to overpower Talk a little bit more Am an active listener Am a passive the other person than I listen (feeding back words and listener with my speech feelings) (agreeing and apologizing) _____ _____ _____ _____ When involved in an unpleasant conflict, I: Use humor with Make an occasional the other person quip or joke about the relationship _____ _____

Relate humor only to myself _____

Suppress all attempts at humor _____

Conflict Management Style Survey

Use the following situation to respond to the final questions: When someone does something that irritates me, e.g. smokes in a non-smoking area or cuts in line in front of me, my tendency in communicating with the person is to: Insist the person look me in the eye Look the person directly in the eye and maintain eye contact _____ Use my hands and body to illustrate my point _____ Try to persuade the person to stop _____ Maintain intermittent eye contact Avoid looking directly at the person _____ Stand back and keep my hands to myself _____ Say and do nothing

_____ Stand close and make physical contact _____ Use strong, direct language and tell the person to stop _____

_____ Stand close to the person without touching him or her _____ Talk gently and tell the person what my feelings are _____

_____

Conflict Management Style Survey Scoring and Interpretation

Instructions: When you have completed all fifteen items, add your scores vertically, resulting in four column totals. Put these on the lines below. Totals: _______ _______ _______ _______ Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 Column 4 Column 1. Aggressive/Confrontive = Competing. High scores indicate a tendency toward Taking the bull by the horns and a strong need to control situations and/or people Those who use this style are often directive and judgmental. people. judgmental Example: No, thats not right. Only an idiot would have designed a filing system like that. Column 2. Assertive/Persuasive = Integrating. High scores indicate a tendency to stand up for oneself without being pushy; a proactive approach to conflict, and a willingness to collaborate. People who use this style depend heavily on their verbal skills. kill Example: I understand your viewpoint, and I think we can use that system by adding this additional tracking format. Column 3. Observant/Introspective = Compromising or Smoothing. High scores indicate a tendency to observe others and examine oneself analytically in response to conflict situations as well as a need to adopt counseling and listening modes of behavior. behavior Those who use this style are likely to be cooperative, even conciliatory. Example: Youre probably right. I hadnt considered that. Lets do it the way you originally wanted. Column 4. Avoiding/Reactive = Avoiding. High scores indicate a tendency toward passivity or withdrawal in conflict situations and a need to avoid confrontation. Those who use this style are usually accepting and patient, often suppressing their strong feelings. Example: Okay.

Adapted from Conflict Management Survey, Marc Robert, University Assoc. Publishers, Inc., La Jolla, CA.

Five Conflict Management Styles

Five Conflict Management Styles
Competing Integrating Compromising Smoothing Avoiding

Competing Competing produces a win-lose situation. One persons goals are met and the others are not.

Integrating Integrating produces a solution that incorporates each partys goals in the conflict in a mutually satisfying way.

Compromising Compromising p g consists of one p person g giving g in to satisfy y the needs of another at the earliest possible stage of the conflict.

Smoothing Smoothing involves giving in to the other person and ignoring ones own goals. Smoothing can be useful as a temporary fix in a conflict situation.

Avoiding Avoiding is staying away from or withdrawing from a conflict. Some conflicts may work themselves out over time, or they may be so trivial that it is not worth the effort to get involved. Some conflicts are irresolvable.

10

Fi Conflict Five C fli t Management M t Styles St l

(Continued)
Five Conflict Management Styles

Competing Integrating Compromising Smoothing Avoiding

Focus: On meeting the needs and goals of both parties Integrating is the only strategy that is solution-oriented solution oriented and, and at the same time, time is oriented to meeting the needs of both individuals. Integrating allows both parties to solve the conflict and leave with positive feelings, facilitating ongoing work relationships.

Integrating is the most complex and time time-consuming consuming of the five strategies.

11

Procedures for Conflict Resolution

Procedures for Conflict Resolution
Meet during normal business hours Explore Narrow and create Reach agreement Resolve Define the issues Follow-up
5

Identify a facilitator
(Optional)

Agree to meet

1.

Define the issues: One or both parties identify the conflict in a respectful manner.

2.

Agree to meet: Within 48 to 72 hours, the parties agree to meet to resolve the conflict and follow this procedure.

3.

Identify a facilitator (optional): If requested, a facilitator is identified.

4.

Meet during normal working hours: The meeting should take place during normal working hours, at the worksite, in a setting appropriate for a confidential meeting.

5.

Explore the issues and perspectives: The issues are explored; needs and perspectives are shared. shared

12

Procedures P d for f Conflict C fli t Resolution (continued)

Procedures for Conflict Resolution
Meet during normal business hours Explore Narrow and create Reach agreement Resolve Define the issues Follow-up
5

Identify a facilitator
(Optional)

Agree to meet

6.

Narrow the differences and create solutions: Solutions are identified and explored to see how t h they th fit with ith each h partys t needs d and d goals. l

7.

Reach an agreement: A resolution should be mutually agreed upon by the end of the meeting.

8.

Reach resolution: If, at the end of the second meeting, no resolution is reached, Human Resources or another designated management representative will arbitrate the conflict. If HR or other designated g management g representative p resolves the conflict, , the employees involved must agree to abide by it without complaint.

9.

Follow-up: Evaluate progress, offer mutual assistance and address any barriers to keeping the resolution. resolution

13

Conflict Negotiation: Potential Outcomes

Potential Outcomes
Trade-Off Compromise Agree to Disagree

Win-Lose No Outcome

Win-Win

Trade-Off Both parties reach a mutual agreement that one side will prevail and the other will submit. Best when done on a reciprocal basis.

Compromise Each party gives up part of its agenda to meet meet in the middle. middle

Agree to Disagree Parties decide that agreement is not essential to goal achievement. Disagreement does not damage the relationship.

Win-Lose One party prevails and the other loses. Relationship damage potential is high.

No Outcome A solution is not reached and the disagreement continues.

Win-Win An agreement is reached which allows both parties to get all their needs met. 14

Case Study 1

In a recent effort to trim the fat in your company, your vice president decided that you and Stephanie would need to assume more responsibilities. This was made possible by assigning more administrative duties to both of you to handle yourselves. In the beginning you werent thrilled with this new way of doing things, but you have since learned how many steps can be eliminated under the new system. Stephanie has not been receptive to the new system. system She had the same reservations as you did about the changes, but instead of adapting and working with the new system, she has regressed to the old way of doing things. This has created a log jam, and your work is often delayed because of Stephanies extensive demands. Tension between the two of you has developed. You realize that this is affecting the morale of your team and hurting the company.

15

Case Study 2

You and Larry are old friends. You both started working at this company out of school and have moved up the ranks at a relatively even rateyou in research and he in marketing. Larry was assigned to work with your department on a four-month project because of a recent downsizing and restructuring of departments. You told your co-workers what a great guy Larry is, and they had looked forward to meeting him. After two weeks on the project, project your co-workers co workers approached you with complaints about Larry. They claimed he was obnoxious, overbearing and difficult to work with. You assured them that he just comes across a little strong, but deep down inside he really is a decent person and a hard worker. You have mentioned these complaints to Larry. He feels that your co-workers are uncooperative. Recently, they approached you again with the same complaints, saying that Larry hasnt changed and, in fact, is getting harder to tolerate.

16

Case Study 3

Your supervisor has just been promoted. You and Martyanother employeeare competing p g for the vacant p position created by y his departure. p You and Marty y have very y different personalities. Marty comes from a sales background, is very outgoing and likes to make sure everyone knows when he has done something beneficial for the company. You are more introverted. You work hard and do a good job for the company, but you dont like to make a big deal out of your successes. Marty has been campaigning for this position ever since he got wind that your supervisor might i h be b promoted. d He recently l has h resorted d to speaking ki negatively i l about b you so that h he h will look better. You really want this promotion and honestly feel that you deserve it more than Marty does. You are furious that Marty is carrying on this way, but youre not sure what you should do about it.

17

Case Study 4

You and Janet have worked in the same department for a little over six months. Janet is the type of person who will do whatever work is assigned her, but rarely takes the initiative to seek out tasks on her own. Janets lack of initiative has bothered you, but you have let it go because you felt your supervisor knew who was doing what work, and you felt you were being properly compensated. Recently, however, your company has decided to institute a bonus system t reward to d high-performing hi h f i groups. Everyone E in i your group will ill receive i an equal l bonus. b You think this decision is unfair. As far as you are concerned, Janet will be rewarded for your hard work. Youve heard Janet say she thinks this system is great. Shell get more money, and she doesnt have to work any harder. Because there is no assigned supervisor for each departmental group, the only person you can go to is the manager of your entire department, p , and y you know that she believes strongly g y in the new reward system. y

18

When t Wh to T Talk lk t to a Professional Counselor

When to Talk to a Professional Counselor
Emotionality Substance use/abuse Reckless behavior Anxiety/Panic Work performance issues Relationship difficulties/withdrawal Sleep/energy problems Appetite disruption Despair/hopelessness; lack of pleasure Suicidal thoughts
7

When you experience:

Emotional mood swings Angry outbursts Prolonged crying or weeping Using drugs or alcohol to cope Reckless behavior Anxiety or panic Inconsistent work performance Interpersonal difficulties Withdrawal Low energy or chronic fatigue Change in sleep patterns Diminished or increased appetite Feelings of despair or hopelessness Diminished capacity for pleasure Suicidal thoughts

19

Further F th Reading R di and d Additional Resources

Books Cloke, Kenneth; Joan Goldsmith; Warren Bennis. Resolving Conflicts at Work: Eight Strategies for Everyone on the Job. Jossey-Bass, 2005. Fisher, Roger; William Ury; Bruce Patton. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. Penguin, 1991. Isenhart Myra Warren and Michael J. Isenhart, J Spangle. Spangle Collaborative Approaches to Resolving Conflict. Sage Publications, 2000. Kindler, Hubert S. Crisp: Conflict Management, Third Edition: Resolving Disagreements in the Workplace. Crisp Learning, 2005. Landau, Sy; Barbara Landau; Daryl Landau. From Conflict to Creativity: How Resolving Workplace Disagreements Can Inspire Innovation and Productivity. J Jossey-Bass, B 2001 2001. Maravelas, Anna. How to Reduce Workplace Conflict and Stress: How Leaders and Their Employees Can Protect Their Sanity and Productivity From Tension and Turf Wars. Career Press, 2005. Tillett, Gregory. Resolving Conflict: A Practical Approach. Oxford University Press, 2000. Wiersma, Bill. The Big Aha!: Breakthroughs in Resolving and Preventing Workplace Conflict. Ravel Media, LLC, 2006. Withers, Bill and Jerry Wisinski. Resolving Conflicts on the Job. AMACOM/American Management Association, 2007. Web Sites http://humanresources.about.com/od/managementtips/a/conflict_solve.htm www.crinfo.org/action/recommended.jsp?list_id=121 www.mediationtools.com/articles/index.html http://web.cba.neu.edu/%7eewertheim/interper/negot3.htm

20

Appendix A Facts About Conflict

1. Conflict arises from various sources Opposing value systems Differing sets of needs Lack of information; failure to communicate Clashing personal styles

2. Many people avoid conflict or handle it poorly Anger often results when conflict occurs, and this can be uncomfortable and frightening for many people because: Aggressive people tend to be vocal and direct; they may also be intimidating, insulting or rude rude. Nonaggressive people are less likely to voice their anger; instead, they may use humor, silence or non-verbal behavior as a way of communicating anger. As a result, anger in nonaggressiveor passivepeople may not be easily identified. People labeled as passive-aggressive tend to be sarcastic and use defensive postures and vocal intonations that pretend innocence or as a warning to let you know how they feel feel. In our competitive culture, many people assume that conflict always results in a win-orlose outcome.

3. Conflict is inevitable in human interaction Equip yourself by learning the skills to manage conflict Use these skills and you will increase your comfort level for dealing with conflict

4. Look upon conflict as an opportunity To grow personally To enhance morale and harmonious workplace relations To improve the quality and quantity of the work itself

21

Appendix B Th C The Costs t and dD Dangers of f Unmanaged Conflict

Costs: Destroys professional relationships Creates barriers to individual and organizational effectiveness Derails teamwork Creates enemies and hidden agendas Adds stress to the workplace Wastes time, money and resources Affects the ability to stay competitive

Dangers: Those involved frequently feel powerless to change the situation. These same people become disillusioned and apathetic, lowering productivity; this may result in tardiness, increased absences or increased errors. People may align with the individualor groupthey believe is right, or perceived as the underdog, causing a larger rift. There may be increased unmanaged conflict, due to hypersensitivity. Employees and work groups may become uncooperative and adversarial.

22

Appendix A di C Benefits of Organizational Conflict

If conflict is dealt with forthrightly, honestly and openly the tone for addressing conflict is set and trust can be established leading to: Increased strength and cohesion Provision of a safety net Clarification of issues and goals Improved relationships Improved communication I Innovation i and d creativity i i Potential cause of organizational change

Additional benefits include: Encouragement to look at different options and solutions. solutions Better decisions because factors are considered that normally would have been overlooked. People introduce new facts, opinions and experiences which create better understanding. Hearing the other side, considering a different perspective and figuring out how ow to wo work with w t those t ose difficult d cu t people. peop e. Progress and the opportunity to get out of a rut.

23

Appendix A di D The Core of the Conflict

Some conflicts are a result of: Conflict over approach People get set in their ways and think their approach is the only one. They need to explore p the suitability y of alternatives. Conflict over goals Misunderstanding over goals and their expected outcomes can cause conflict and disruption. Clearly define the goal of the project so all are clear on the expected outcome. Role conflict Who should do what? Who is responsible? Whose role is most important? This can lead to buck passing. Different values This includes differences in work ethic, culture, habits, lifestyle, etc. Different interpretation of facts This relates to unclear task assignment or instructions, and ambiguity about policies, rules and regulations. regulations

24

Appendix A di E Managing Conflict

Research by psychologist Howard J. Markman at the University of Denver's Center for Marital and Family Studies led to development of some ground rules for discussing emotionally charged issues in the marital context. A report appeared in an article in The Boston Globe in 1990. These may be adapted as guidelines for the workplace. k l When Wh conflict fli t results lt in i intense i t hostility h tilit in i your organization, i ti you can use these guidelines to help the participants move back to dialog. Choose a good time of day Choose a good day of the week Make an appointment Stay focused Take turns Avoid blaming Own your messages, feelings, behavior by using I statements A id analogies Avoid l i Validate Notice your breathing Take a break Deal with obstacles

25

Appendix A di F Negotiation: Setting the Stage

1. Evaluate: Is this a fight worth fighting? Importance of issue To me To the other parties To the organization D Degree of f anger or h hurt t th that t you may f feel l as a result lt of f the th fi fight ht Potential for personal harm or damage to the relationship 2. Is it the right time? Self esteem should be high for all parties involved Negative emotions should have dissipated Sufficient energy must be present Set aside sufficient time Be aware of cultural differences 3. Is it the right g p place? Should be private if possible Should be free of distractions Must be safe Should be on neutral territory Should not have furniture placement that interferes with or communicates power differences 4. Who should be involved? Those involved in the conflict A mutually-agreed-upon third party mediator, if necessary

26

Appendix A di G Tools for Conflict Negotiation

1. A willingness g to negotiate g the conflict Be prepared to problem-solve: What is the problem? Clearly define it. What do the participants need? State needs clearly. Acknowledge that all parties have strong feelings about the issues. Creatively explore potential solutions. Allow ideas to be combined and modified. Own your thoughts, feelings, behaviors: State your view of the situation. Take responsibility for and share your feelings about the situation. Clearly outline your ideas for solving the problem. Own the commitment you are willing to make to solve the conflict and clarify what you would like from the other participant(s). Practice effective listening g skills Appropriate eye contact Inviting Clarifying Restating Confirming/Affirming Use appropriate body language Pay attention to physical space, seating arrangements and cultural dynamics Lean forward to communicate interest Use appropriate eye contact Use relaxed, open gestures and posture

27

Appendix G T l for Tools f Conflict C fli t Negotiation (Continued)

2. Positive energy and focus Assume a win-win win win outcome. outcome Generate respect, good will and positive regard for the participants involved, regardless of your personal feelings. Focus on the issues and solutions at hand, not on personalities. Focus on one problem at a time; dont get side-tracked. Persevere; ; it takes time to negotiate g conflict. 3. An effective conflict negotiation style Be willing to set aside your own agenda and put yourself in the other persons shoes. Refuse to hit below the belt. Establish ground rules that ensure respect for the feelings of all concerned. Confidentiality Amount and phrasing of feedback Limited tolerance for interrupting, standing, shouting, table pounding, swearing, abusive language, walking out without agreement g ee e Agreement on the conflict negotiation process Rules for brainstorming Maintain personal safety. End a negotiation session if any party appears to be losing emotional control. Involve a third party mediator if conflict negotiation efforts repeatedly fail, or if emotions run high.

28

29