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ictou County Interagency Committee on 'amily Violence

Domestic Violence and Abuse

Domestic violence is violent or aggressive behavior within the home, and typically involves abuse of a spouse or partner. Abuse is the behavior used to isolate, intimidate, dominate or control another person. Domestic abuse is a crime and may present itself in many ways including: physical abuse, mental and emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, intimidation, sexual abuse, neglect, and financial exploitation. Abuse may be a single incident or pattern behavior and can range from mild to severe. It is common for an abuser to blame their victim. While abusers are very good at making their victim feel responsible for the abuse, abuse is the abuser s responsibility and never the fault of the victim.

Safety During a Violent Event

It is helpful to develop a combination of strategies to increase your safety during a violent incident. Some may include: !ap out safest places in home. During an argument void rooms in which you can be easily trapped or that have weapons accessible. "arge rooms with more than one exit may be safer !ake extra copies of house and car keys. #eep them in a secret spot outside the home in case it is necessary to leave $uickly. %ell people you trust about the abuse. Ask that they call police if they hear unusual noises coming from the home. %each children how to call for help. &ome up with a code word for children and friends that tells them you want them to call for help. 'elp children develop a safety plan of their own: "eave the home(go to bedroom and lock door(go to neighbor s house(tell someone they trust what is happening(call )** #now where you will go if you need to leave the home. +e sure to clear any internet(phone history that would cause your abuser to become enraged.

There is a light at the end of even the darkest tunnel.

In an emergency or if afraid for your life call %&& or'ere local police: %itle ,ew -lasgow: .)/01 2334566* Street Address 7tellarton: .)/01 23048*8/ Suite 555 Westville: .)/01 6)840222 City State 55555 !: 555"555"5555 %renton: .)/01 230436** E: email#address.com If police have evidence that you $$$.$ebaddress.co were assaulted, they must lay a charge.

(eaving the )ome

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!aking the decision to leave an abusive relationship is not easy and while you may not be thinking of leaving it is necessary to be prepared to leave. An abuser tends to become more dangerous when they feel their partner is leaving the relationship. Bor your own safety, it is important to create a carefully detailed plan. %ry to set a little money aside each week in a place only you know about &hoose a person to leave money and keys with ;pen a savings account in your own name. +e sure the statements are not mailed to the home. +e aware of community resources you can go to for help 'ave a place you can call and go stay at any time of day or night +e aware of the closest phone to your home 6e sure to revie$ your plan often and ma8e any necessary changes.

You are stronger than you think you are. Trust in your own courage.
$ou do not have to live in fear% &f you decide to leave there are some important items you will need to take with you% 'ome items to consider: o (edication and medical records !for yourself or children# o eys !car)house)office# o (oney)credit cards)*ewellery o +river,s license)car registration 9"A&: 9';%; ':<:, o Health cards ;%':<WI7: D:":%: +;= o +ebit card)che-ue and bank book o Passport o Birth certificates o 'ocial insurance cards o Lease)mortgage)insurance papers o .amily pictures o /opies of court or protection orders)divorce papers o 'tatus /ards o Pets) pet records !check with your local shelter to see about pet

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>ou have made the most difficult and important decision of your life. >ou have shown the strength and courage necessary to leave your abusive relationship, but now what? "eaving an abusive relationship can be extremely dangerous, create a safety strategy for yourself and your children. %hings to consider:

Community 5esources
1earmann Society 21ransition )ouse3 &risis line .)/01 2304/*60 .)/01 2304*866 ;utreach .)/01 230403)* %oll4free *4 555456*4/66/ !ictou County Second Stage )ousing 4 safe, affordable housing for abused women and children 4 .)/01 )054/)2/ !ictou County -omen+s Centre .crisis and counselling for women between ):// 4 @:6/1 A .)/01 2334@8@2 .e$ (eaf .domestic abuse intervention program1 A .)/01 6)840@@/ )elp (ine .noon4midnight, 2 days1 A 23043)30

Order of Protection for self and children Home security features: change locks, install metal doors, security system, outside lighting, smoke detectors Be sure to let trusted people know the abuser no longer lives with you, have them call police if they see him near your home Let the school or those who provide care for your children know, in writing, who is allowed to pick up your children Avoid social places that were often visited with the abuser o this will cut down on the possibility of running into the abusive partner o will also help feelings of sadness or missing the abusive partner from resurfacing now who !friend, family, or community organi"ation# you can go to for support if you are feeling low and having thoughts of returning to the abusive relationship