RECOMMEND THIS!

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RECOMMEND THIS!
Delivering Digital Experiences That People Want to Share

JASON THIBEAULT AND KIRBY WADSWORTH

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Cover image: Cover design: Copyright 2014 by Jason Thibeault and Kirby Wadsworth. All rights reserved. Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey. Published simultaneously in Canada. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at www.wiley.com/go/permissions. Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with the respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for damages arising herefrom. For general information about our other products and services, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762-2974, outside the United States at (317) 572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002. Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com. For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data: ISBN 978-1-118-83669-9 (cloth); ISBN 978-1-118-87285-7 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-87288-8 (ebk) Printed in the United States of America 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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CONTENTS
Foreword by Phil Fernandez Acknowledgments Preface: Is Digital Marketing Dead? Introduction Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Notes Index Business as Usual is over . . . or is it? Digital Changes Everything The Importance of Relationships How We Connect in the Digital World Measuring the Value of Relationships Bridging Digital Understanding Need Developing History Offering Curation Recognizing Faces Telling Stories Being Authentic Delivering Consistency Maintaining Credibility Helpfulness Nurturing Online Communities Delivering the Promise Looking Forward vii xi xiii 1 9 19 43 53 81 95 99 107 117 123 135 147 163 173 185 197 211 227 237 247

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FOREWORD

n Revenue Disruption, I claimed that virtually all buying processes whether as consumers or businesspeoplebegin well out of reach of traditional advertising, marketing, and sales activities. At this very early stage, buyers may have an idea about something they want, a feeling about an unmet need, a vague sense that there must be something out there to scratch an itch. Buyers search online, and begin to conduct researchwhether they consciously realize they are doing so or not. They begin to scope out their options. They ask their networks of friends and connections for advice and recommendations. They latch on to helpful content, wherever they find it. And today, most often this all happens online, often anonymously, in the vast and ever-changing sea of digital and social media.

In response, I introduced the term Seed Nurturing: the notion that any organization with something to sell must get to these protobuyers early on, providing useful information to mold the buyers process and planting the seeds for a future sale. Yet at this early stage of the revenue cycle model, it is very uncommon for a vendor to have a relationship with these protobuyers, and even if it does, its unlikely that the vendor knows that these early-stage buyers are considering its offerings. The organization and the buyer are strangers. But there is rich pay dirt here. If we can begin to master this early stage of the revenue cycle, our organizations have an opportunity to stand out, separate from the pack, outcompete our rivals, and drive real profitable revenue growth. To do this, we must redefine our marketing and sales process. Success is no longer about finding buyers, its about being found by those who might eventually value our offerings and services. And once we do attract early interest, the focus must be on developing long-term relationships with prospects, rather than clumsily trying to close them. If we hand inbound leadsprecious gems, generated at this early stage through our compelling content and helpfulnessto a greedy, sales-driven next step, we risk abject disaster.

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Early-stage buyers are firmly in control of their buying process. They dont want to talk to a salesperson, or even register on an online site ... yet. And in the digital world they have a most important powerinstant and frictionless choice. A better, friendlier, more helpful, alternative is only a mouse click away. So we have a gap. Lets call it the relationship gap. Early-stage buyers are interested in learning about us and our organizations products. They do want to hear suggestions and advice, and they are open to input on how to evaluate solutions and make decisions. They will take all that, and more, into consideration, if (and its a huge if), if they trust that the information is fair and balanced, and the organization offering it is attempting to be authentic, transparent, and helpful. To succeed at this stage we must focus on developing relationships with these potential customers, building trust and creating a sense of collegial friendship. We must move from ABS (always be selling) to ABT (always be teaching). Or even to ABR (always be developing relationships). Digital is becoming the first stop in a new buyers journey. Trying to understand what visitors want, or might want, when they first interact online with our organizations is hard. But it is not optional. If we are going to build true relationships with these protobuyers, we have to capture their attention, build trust, and seek to begin a two-way conversation with them. Technology can help. But technology alone doesnt solve the core issue. We must transform our entire approach to business. Innovative marketing and sales leaders will dramatically rethink traditional roles and processes to embrace the relationship revolution. Those who do will grow their networks of buyers and recommenders. In doing so, they will find a new source for the true sustained, profitable, top-line growth that every company needs. Throughout their many years in business, Kirby and Jason have proven themselves not just innovative thought leaders, but also researchers and guides in our collective journey toward improved revenue process management. Recommend This! does a fantastic job of uncovering and supporting the value of relationships. Moreover, it provides a clear method for quantifying that valuea method that will certainly stir debate, and may even spawn a new branch on the marketing analytics tree. Finally, the book gives us a set of simple, crisp actionable steps to help us optimize prospect and customer relationships at scale using digital technologies.

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ix

Recommend This! is a must for anyone who needs to understand how digital relationships change the way we do business, who seeks the means to measure and manage relationships, and who has the determination to drive revolutionary change by focusing the organization on whats really importantrelationships. Phil Fernandez

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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

e would like to acknowledge the following people for their help and support in getting this book to our readers:

Jay Baer Nigel Dessau Ann Handley Joe Pulizzi John Neeson Ted Rubin Robert Scoble Mike Volpe Tony Zambito Our relationship gurus, Jane Shannon and Sandy Brisentine at MyExecutiveSolutions; our talented illustrators, Thomas Upson and Josh Carpenter; our social officer, Eileen Foran; our air traffic controller, Danielle Mitropoulos; our web design goddess, Jenn Moreira; our editor, Shannon Vargo; and our bail bondsman, James Todd. And, most of all, our wives and families, who semi-cheerfully put up with our late nights, emergency meetings, angst, and anxiety, and who provided care, feeding, support, and help during our journey.

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PREFACE: IS DIGITAL MARKETING DEAD?

f it ever truly existed, yes, digital marketing is definitely dead.

Thats because theres no real distinction anymore between traditional and digital marketing. All audience experiences are intrinsically digital by connecting in some way to the myriad of new channels like websites, social media, and apps. These experiences change the ways through which organizations form relationships with their audiencesall relationships must bridge the real and virtual worlds. Organizations are increasingly being forced to accept the new order of things. To form and transform relationships through digital channels, we must embrace the concept that matters most: the sum of the audiences experiences across the entire spectrum of touch points. We must find ways to translate our stories into real life experiences using nothing but those digital touch points. We must engage the audience at a real-life, emotional level almost from the very moment we touch them. Perhaps equally important is the realization that organizations must maintain that real life emotional connection throughout the engagement process, while reinforcing the intellectual and emotional responses from audience interaction as they visit again and again ... until they form an enduring bond of loyalty. We must transform marketing from talking at audiences to speaking with them. We must shift our attention from screaming, Look at me! to quietly asking, How are you doing? We cannot simply bolt digital stuff onto our marketing plans, or hire an intern to do something digital. The entire organization must evolve to embrace the power that digital channels and technologies provide us. As both consumers and marketers, digital is at the core of our lives now. We interact with digital tools and technologies throughout our day. Employees, processesthe entire organizational gestaltmust transform so that every interaction, live or virtual, is aligned to translate the brands story into a real-life experience for the audience ... but within digital channels.
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Are we suggesting that digital should replace traditional marketing? No. We are saying theres no distinction anymore really because digital has fundamentally changed consumer expectations. People now feel that an organization without a website or a Facebook profile is somehow less than those that have these resources. Thats because digital has given people a way, for the first time in history really, to connect easily with an organization, be it to laud and praise or vilify and complain. That digital availability is now becoming an audience expectation, which is why authenticity must become our lifeblood. If the interaction between our audience and our staff, services, and processes does not align with our story, not only will our audience notice, but worse, they will tell each other! There is no getting away from itdigital has changed the name of the game from sell to help with. People are tired of the vultures. As an interactive medium through which audiences can connect with organizations 24/7/365, the stories we tell must be good, engaging, and emotional. If we come to this digital party with nothing to talk about but ourselves, our products, our features, and our benefits, they wont let us past the front door. Our audience members want us to care about, and be involved in, the issues they face. We must add to the conversation by understanding the issues and having an opinion on them. We must demonstrate not just on a monthly basis, when the magazine with our ad in it used to hit the stands, but on a daily, hourly, even per minute basis that we belong in the conversation as an active participant ... not the guy hovering at the door as you approach the car dealership. Whatever an organizations underlying purpose, it must learn to listen, empathize, contribute, solve, and evolve as the organization strives to develop long-term relationships with the audience. Relationships are what truly differentiate organizations in this new, digitally transformed world. Relationships cannot be copied by competitors. Relationships, when cultivated and valued, cant be stolen. Thats why, more than anything, the first steps in the journey to build relationships must be taken with no ambition other than to do one thingto help.

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INTRODUCTION
ociologists will still be arguing into the next century about why invasive and assertive advertising worked, for a while at least, in the late twentieth century, but things have definitely changed. Websites, social media, mobile, and all of the digital technologies that are rapidly integrating deeper into our lives, point to one central thingconsumers have choice. Consumers arent beholden to their television sets, or magazines, or radio to find out what product to buy and with whom to do business. Choice surrounds them every second of every day. The barriers to finding and engaging with competitors have been destroyed by the ease of clicking a mouse button or tapping on a screen, which makes what this book talks about even more important. The choice that consumers have today reflects another important changebusinesses cant compete solely on product anymore. Technology enables competitors to spring up overnight. To consumers, product features are all the same. Thankfully, all this change has left one aspect of the business world untouched, the one aspect that, well argue, is the crux of creating a truly successful, memorable organization that people want to love. To share. To recommend. Relationships. The problem, though, is that digital makes forming, cultivating, and taking advantage of relationships difficult. The concepts, arguments, and examples that follow will help you understand the fundamental components of relationshipswhat makes them good; what makes them memorable; and what makes them so powerful that people want to recommend them to friends, family, and complete strangers. But we also make the argument that everything a business does online, every engagement through a website or status post through Facebook, builds on the foundation of relationships. When we strip away every brand message and every product feature, we are left with the one thing that truly differentiates an
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INTRODUCTION

organizationits relationships with customers, prospects, employees, competitors, investors, and any other stakeholders. In addition to providing a proven method for engaging and building relationships online, the book also provides a powerful framework to help measure, and manage the opportunity energy of the relationships in a network.

RELATIONSHIPS MATTER
What is at the heart of every business transaction? A relationship. Whether its a transaction closed with a handshake (or a hug) or one that is entirely electronic, it involves a relationship. It might have begun with catching someones eye at a trade show, or stepping up to the counter in a department store. Maybe it was an email, or social media exchange. Regardless of the form, when we interact, work together, form partnerships, or decide to buy something (or not to buy something), a relationship is at the foundation. Relationships are the means to prosperity, success, achievement, failure, peace, and war. Organizations have long understood the value and need for relationships. Every organization must develop and manage relationships with its stakeholdersspouses, children, customers, voters, congregants, donors, players, fans, rivals, enemies. To be successful, an organization must have objectives and goals for those relationships. Maybe the goal is to attract, to exclude, to liberate, to control, to defeat, or to uplift; it doesnt matter. Without clear objectives, the value of those relationships goes unrealized (or at least unexploited). All goals must be measurable, which makes relationship measurement so important as welltransactions, profits, dues, votes, donations, readers, likes, friends, and followers. Without the ability to determine if objectives are successful, and to reset objectives as needed, relationship development and management falls to chaos. Ultimately, these relationship targets and goals must drive every organizations strategy, actions, and outcomes. Is the goal of building longterm customer relationships more or less important than growing revenue and profit? Are they mutually exclusive? Can a business succeed long-term without long-term customers? Our natural reaction is to say, Of course not! However, how much time and resources does the business focus on acquiring new customers versus building on existing relationships?

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INTRODUCTION

Without measurable goals and executable strategies, the urgencies of the day will overtake even our best intentions for relationship development. This brings into sharp relief the world embodied and articulated by AMCs hit television show, Mad Men. Does Don Draper and his crew care about relationships? If those heavy-handed marketing practices were in full-force today (and we would argue that many marketers and organizations do still practice them), would audiences really pay attention? Does a bigger marketing hammer really make a long-term impact to the companys success?* We are in a state of relationship transition. Relationships are, and have always been, hugely important to us as human beings. They drive economic success or failure. Relationships depend on communication. As the world evolves because of digital technology, organizations must adapt to a new set of rules and approaches for developing relationships using the technologies we are all adapting so readily.

ARE DIGITAL RELATIONSHIPS REALLY DIFFERENT?

As we mentioned just a few pages or so ago, the answer is No. Relationships are so fundamentally human that our need for themwhether online or at a local coffee shopmay never change. With that said, the world we live in today has a completely new set of rules thanks to digital technology. Those old methods of building relationships, things like face-to-face communication, and having a personal history with a customer, may not seem to translate to the way we interact and engage in the digital world. Which brings us back to the purpose of this book.

*To encourage our audiences today to take actionwe will use the term audience when we mean the target groups of people we are interacting with to achieve our goalswe must engage them in relationships. We can no longer lecture, cajole, fool, or demand that audiences do as we wish. We must interact, discuss, educate, argue, listen, and most of all help our audiences in achieving their objectives. Only when we do that can we hope to achieve our objectives.

We will use the terms real-world and digital-world throughout the book. We get that the real world is really the digital world now, but we needed a terminology structure to differentiate online interactions, engagement, and relationships from those we have face-to-face.

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INTRODUCTION

Sure, we want to convince you that the single, most important aspect of an organizations success in todays (and tomorrows) world is relationships, but we also want to give you something practical to help you make online relationships work. Thats why weve focused a huge part of this book on translating the principles of building relationships learned from the real world into the digital world. You will find helpful hints and takeaways with actions you can take that embody and leverage our advice. We have also engaged the help of many well-known practitioners whose advice is interspersed throughout the book. Our goal is to help organizations operating in the digital world build the same kinds of relationships they might have if their audiences could interact with them in person every daythe same kind of relationships, honestly, that have worked for hundreds, even thousands, of years, to enable us to connect with one another, whether as neighbor, friend, proprietor, or customer. However, this new shift to a digital world has not transformed the basic mechanisms within us that help form relationships, nor has it completely transformed the processes, tools, and structures that have served humanity for an eternity of relationship building. Since Peter1 scratched charcoal drawings on a cave wall, we have formed relationships through a cycle of attention gathering and trust building. Today, when our kids are texting each other at the dinner table, or theyre snap-chatting their friends on the other side of the couch, they remind us that the lines between digital and physical are blurred when it comes to relationships. They remind us that the past several years of digital innovation have utterly transformed the human races ability to communicate and, more importantly, have transformed our ability to form relationships with each other and organizations of all types all the time. While we tend to text and email a relatively small group of close acquaintances, we share Facebook updates with an often larger and more public group of online handles we refer to as friends, we may exchange opinions semi-autonomously with strangers on community sites, or even Tweet to a universe of millions.

GETTING ATTENTION
At the core of relationship development is the need for attention. In the physical world, it might be a glance from across the room, a firm handshake, or an irritating phone call. In the digital world, it might

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INTRODUCTION

be a comment on a Facebook status update. Ultimately, regardless of physical or digital, if no attention is paid, no relationship is formed. If this issue of gaining attention only applied between two people, we could probably stop this book right now (or at least relocate it to the Self-help section of the bookstore). Only it doesnt. The same rules apply to organizations. They are participating within the conversation as our friends dothrough their Facebook pages they are donning a persona that is easily mistaken for a regular person.* But unlike us, they are actively out looking for friends, which makes garnering attention even harder. In the digital world, you dont make friends by blasting out marketing messages about your product! Audiences only have a set amount of attention available, and they will spend it in ways that maximize their perceived benefit. Just as digital makes it easy for organizations to reach more people, digital makes it just as easy for people to ignore. The level and length of an audiences willingness to spend attention on a particular subject, object, person, or organization is dependent on a vast set of factors: The relevancy and urgency of the messageif Peter is waving a spear and pointing at a stalking lion, the tribe is likely to pay close attention. The credibility and trustworthiness of the attention seekerno one pays much attention though if they know Peter has been chewing the red poppy seeds. Again. The quality and intelligibility of messageif Peter yells at them in a foreign tongue, the tribes attention will quickly wander. Just as it makes sense to think of audiences spending attention, it is best to think of organizations earning attention by providing a transaction of value. In traditional advertising, the audience received compensation for their attention through access to contentthe TV or radio program, the newspaper article, or the website. This form of attention hijacking works when the audience has limited content

*Jay Baer, author of Youtility, points out that aside from the presence of applications, there is little differentiation between business Facebook pages and personal pages.

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INTRODUCTION

options. However, the audience is not necessarily a willing participant, so this approach loses effectiveness as soon as there is a choice. When attention is earned and spent, a transaction occurs between audience and organization. Whether for a split second before grabbing a spear and running for the hills, or for hours at a time learning new hunting tricks by listening to stories around the campfire, Peter and his audience engage and share information, energy, and a moment in time together that adds to their historical bonds. And when that transaction occurs, or especially when it repeats, relationships develop. Positive transaction after positive transaction leads to a relationship with positive value. However, as we know, relationships are not always positive. If a chest-pumping Peter takes credit for another hunters kill, he loses credibility... and might even lose his head! The key to achieving the organizations relationship goal is translating the audiences investment of attention into positive engagement by using it effectively to provide value, build trust, and earn the right to further investment of attention. All this happens with an eye toward building long-term positive relationships.

WHY ARE WE STRUGGLING WITH DIGITAL?

The key to effectively engaging online audiences is to understand and leverage the fundamental nature of human connections. Why do we connect? How do we connect? What works and what does not in attracting attention, earning repetitive investment, and layering connections to building long-term habitual relationships?

EVEN BIG BRANDS FAIL AT CONNECTING

Robert Scoble is a technology celebrity. With over 4,000,000 people following what he posts on Google+, Facebook, and Twitter, he has some inuence. You would think that organizations, adopting digital technologies at an astounding pace, would bend over backward to make sure they were catering to his every whim.2 Apparently, even the most customer-focused organizations sometimes dont get how to leverage digital technologies to build and cultivate relationships.

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INTRODUCTION

Robert lives right down the street from the Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay, California. By his own admission, he frequents the hotel quite a bitdinner, drinks and chat, or just relaxing with his wife and watching the sun set. Yet, it would seem, despite all of his visits, the Ritz has little knowledge about him as a person. The Ritz Carlton at Half-Moon Bay operates four separate computer systemsone for the spas, one for the hotel itself (reservations, bookings, etc.), one for the main restaurant (OpenTable), and one for the smaller restaurant. Unfortunately, none of these systems appear to be connected to each other. So, if Robert checks in at the hotel, the hotel system knows who he is (and the person checking him in can leverage that history to make his stay more personal) but doesnt know what he ate for dinner last night when he visited the restaurant (OpenTable does). Its like having a friend and starting over every time you meet, says Robert. Imagine going to dinner at a friends house and the next day them not remembering anything about you or the night before! Thats what my experience with the Ritz is like. What is the Ritz doing wrong? According to Robert, the histories contained in the Ritz-Carltons computer systems are not connected. If they pulled their systems together, Robert says, my experience would be much more personalized. They could even integrate third-party data like Foursquare and provide me a more personalized experience based on my history with them. Thats kind of like Castello Di Amorosa winery in Napa where if you follow them on Instagram, theyll give you a different tour (more focused on the photography) than the usual crowd. What makes it worse is when Robert visits the Ritz in London there is no connection between the two propertiesthey have no idea he has a long history with the brand through the Half Moon Bay property. There are very few companies doing it well, Robert adds. So theres a lot of room for improvement, especially as we get more comfortable with contextual technologies. Almost every business could offer a really personalized experience. What Roberts experience and insights illustrate are that not many organizations get the connection between digital and realworld relationships. They are good at forming relationships face-toface (when they have a physical presence), but when their customers are digital or when digital could be applied to make those face-to-face interactions better? Not so much.

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INTRODUCTION

According to Jay Baer, the author of Youtility and an accomplished speaker, the real reason organizations struggle is because they dont know how to behave in the digital world. Businesses now have to use the same online venues that we use for personal and social interactions. Thats the digital equivalent of selling in church. They have to be very careful, says Jay. They must behave. They must act like humans online. But companies are tonedeaf. We are past the hey, should we do this stage and now were in the how do we do this well phase, which is also known as the awkward teenage years.3 This book is about connecting the real world with the digital world through methods that organizations can use online to re-create the connections we make in the real world . . . and finding ways to expand on them. Its about helping you through those awkward teenage years. We designed it to help you unleash the awesome power of building relationships, engaging online audiences, and fostering raving fans so that your customers arent just fanatics of your company. They love you. Enough to put their personal stamp on your organization. Enough to recommend you.

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CHAPTER 1

Business as Usual Is Over ... or is It?

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got.
Einstein

hen B.L. Ogilvie & Sons opened for business in 1919, it faced little competition selling coal and household goods to the wellheeled residents of Weston, Massachusetts. If you visit Ogilvies today, you will find a crowded but neatly laid out arrangement of everything one might need in the way of hardware and home goods. The store is brightly lit, immaculately clean, and smells faintly of turpentine, kerosene, and pine. It is a good, oldfashioned smell. Clear, sometimes hand-lettered, signs indicate which aisle holds screws, and where to find the charcoal briquettes. Several uniformed employees constantly fuss about, tidying and arranging merchandise on the well-stocked shelves, eager to answer questions, explain how to DIY, or talk about issues in the local community. At the rear of the store on a raised platform several steps up above the crowd, behind the wooden sales counter, Kevin Whittemore surveys the establishment while seated at the same wooden desk that served his father, and several grandfathers before him. An old cowbell clangs, and his well-trained eye shoots to the front door. Mrs. Appleyard enters, and stops to let her eyes adjust from the sunlight outside. A spry and passionate gardener, Mrs. Appleyard, by Kevins count, must be 89 or 90 years old. She takes a step or two further into the store and stops to admire the bird feeder display Kevins team has just set up in aisle one. He is pleased to see Ray Glover, his hardware

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RECOMMEND THIS!

manager, step forward to greet her by name and offer assistance. Kevin cannot hear the conversation, but senses as she pulls a small darkened lightbulb from her purse, that Mrs. Appleyard is having trouble with her refrigerator again. Kevin watches as Ray walks her to the proper shelf, selects the appropriate replacement, and slips it into a small brown paper sack. He nods as Mrs. Appleyard smiles, slips the bag in her purse, and offers a small wave to Kevin up on his dais. No money is exchanged. No credit card swiped. No signature needed. Ray will note the purchase on her account, and Mrs. Appleyard will receive a bill at the end of the month, with a handwritten note from Ray, Nice to see you. Hope you can find the cat food for Mr. Whiskers dinner in the back of the fridge more easily now! How can such a place still exist? Is it an anachronism, a throwback, a pleasant stroll down memory lane for the ultrarich? Hardly. Ninety-three years after opening for its first day of business, Ogilvies is a thriving mecca for in-the-know locals seeking a new screwdriver, suet for the bird feeder, lumber to repair the deck, framing to build a house, or advice on ridding the garden of those pesky gophers. Located on a back road, near an old abandoned railroad track with no sign to speak of pointing the way, Ogilvies parking lot is brimming with Land Rovers, BMWs, Mercedes-Benz station wagons, and rusted out Ford pickup trucks from 7 a.m. til 5 p.m. on weekdays, and 8 a.m. til 1 p.m. on Saturdays. Kevin Whittemore and his staff have all the business they need, want, and can handle, despite the opening of a Home Depot Superstore, a Lowes Home Center, and a Walmart on the highway outside of town. In short, Ogilvies is thriving. How can a place like this survive in the age of Amazon? Isnt it doomed to fail, a dusty bookstore in the era of e-books? A tube TV repair shop in the time of hundred-dollar flat-screen LCDs? As he surveys his fiefdom of old-fashioned service, his knowledgeable staff trained to remember names and personal details of his customers, and as he looks back at his bearded, mutton-chopped, and mustachioed ancestors glaring down from their portraits on the wall above his desk, Kevin Whittemores face shows no concern. What does he know that we dont?

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The cowbell jangles again as a young mom wearing jeans and a sweatshirt enters in a rush, her toddler in tow. The child instantly reaches for a shiny object on the nearest shelf, but she swoops him up on her hip before he causes any damage. With her free hand, she brushes back a lock of hair thats fallen across her eyes in the process. Hello, Marjory! calls Whittemore, rising from the desk and stepping down to the sales floor. What can we do for you this fine morning? Hey, Kevin. She sounds tired and its only 10:30. We need a gate, or something, to keep Teddy out of the kitchen. Hes figured out how to open the cabinets and thinks its great fun to dump my pots all over the floor. Ha! Maybe we have a budding new drummer for the Warriors marching band? Please. . . thats all I need. Seriously, what can we do? I tried those handle-tie bars, you know, the ugly white U-shaped thingies? I hate how they look all over the new kitchen, and Dave got so frustrated trying to open them that he cut them off and threw them all out. Sounds like Dave.... Right this way... I think I have just what you need. He leads her to a display at the end of a nearby island. Here you go. Its the latest baby-proofing set. These clips install just inside the door, so theyre invisible, no ugly white U-shaped thingies. You slip your finger in here, push sideways, and voil, the cabinet opens up. No problem. She tries the latch. That is easy to open, and they dont show. Brushing off a small hand tugging at the end of her nose, she asks, Dont suppose you sell aspirin, do you? Kevin smiles, Of course, right at the register. These may be easy for you to pop open, but little Teddy wont be able to work the latch with those tiny fingersfor a couple more years, at least. By the time he can get his hand in there, hopefully his interest in banging your pots will have subsided. Looks good, Kevin, but you know Dave... hes a fine teacher, but hes not exactly what youd call... handy. Theyre super-easy; its just two screws. I dunno. He can be a real klutz, and those are expensive cabinets you sold us.

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Im more worried about what else little Teddy might find in those cabinets than I am about Dave messing them up, Kevin says, his expression showing a faint concern. You did take all the bleach and stuff like that out from under the sink, right? I remember coming into our kitchen onceBrian must have been three or fourand finding him sitting on the floor in front of the sink with a bottle of ammonia in his lap. Thank goodness, I reached him before he got the top off. They didnt have safety caps back then. Oh my! He could have... . She squeezes her kid, and kisses him on top of the head before flicking off a Cheerio she notices glued to his cheek. Here, listen, take one of these cool new electric screwdriver flashlights. Just came in. Davell have so much fun playing with it, he wont realize you have him doing chores. She smiles as she takes the new tool. You know him pretty well ... youre right, hell love that thing. Well, come to think of it, Kevin thinks, I guess knowing Daveand all the other folks in townwell, that's my real job. Isn't it? He can do it, Im sure, Kevin nods his head at her. But if he has any trouble, any trouble at all, you call me and Ill stop over and help him out. Meantime, get that stuff out from under the sink, and look around in the other cabinets, too. You cant be too careful. Customers at Ogilvies do not roam the aisles, smartphones in hand, Googling the online price of every pint of Velux paint, demanding Whittemore and his staff match their competitors prices on paving stones and bricks. Ogilvies charges a premium for virtually everything they sell, and they get their price without complaint. So what is going on here? How has Ogilvies been able to survive for so long? Why do people prefer to go to Ogilvies rather than lowerpriced super-mega stores like Home Depot and Lowes? Because Kevin Whittemore, and the entire staff at Ogilvies, understand that relationships matter more than money, more than time, more than almost anything else in our human existence. Relationships tie us together and form the social bond that keeps us all alive. The adage, people do business with people, is as true today (even on the Internet) as when it was first uttered. Of course, digital complicates that by allowing organizations to build relationships at a scope

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and scale that Kevin Whittemores ancestors never dreamed possible. It allows us to connect with thousands and even millions of individuals as digital friends. It allows us to receive online birthday greetings every year from high school classmates we have not laid eyes on since graduation day, and to share pictures of babies with the entire universe seconds after their births. Make no mistake, digital is a powerful thing. Its an amazing, awesome, wonderful, terrible thing. However, digital on its own does not, for one second, change a thing about our need for relationships and their importance in our lives; or their impact on our decision-making, and their influence on understanding ourselves. Keep in mind always that digital relationships are human relationships. As Maya Angelou once said, People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel. In studying how organizations leverage digital technologies to build and enhance relationships with their audiences, we have identified nine key relationship-building elements, and we have come to believe that these nine elements form the basis for establishing and maintaining long lasting relationships, regardless of the mechanism used to connectdigital, face-to-face, telephonic, written word, and so on. We believe these elements are the key to successful audience relationships for any organization, whether the organizational goal is selling something, influencing audiences to think or act differently, educating an audience, or any combination of the above.

NEED
A desire or problem instigates the attention cycle in the first place. However, the need that leads to relationships is more than surface need. Its more than the need for a new lightbulb that draws Mrs. Appleyard to the store. In Chapter 3, we explore in detail the kinds of relationships people want/need to have with the organization and its story. Its critical to understand the needs of your intended audience(s). You need to align your storywhich includes the entire experience your audience receives from its first interaction with you to its lastto the needs of that audience at a personal level. One of the best things about digital is

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that it enables organizations to monitor continuously changing needs at an individual level. Rather than focus groups and surveyswhere we now know buyers are liarsorganizations now have a 24/7/365 digital connection to the true, unadulterated voice of the customer.

HISTORY
The history of the organization as it relates to the target audience is a crucial piece of the experience and story you are attempting to convey. This backstory can sometimes be very evidentportraits of Kevins ancestors and historical pictures of Ogilvies past lining the wallsor it may be unspoken like all that Kevin knows about Mrs. Appleyard. However, it exists nonetheless, and it must be examined and understood. At the first moment of interaction with the audience, what do we know about them? What does the target audience know about us? What have they heard? Who told them? Have we interacted previously? If so, what did they look at, ask for, investigate, comment on, or buy? This history, this backstory and collective interactions with the audience, is multifaceted and comes from many sources, some of which you can, and others you cannot, control.

CURATION
Today we love to curate. We Retweet, Reddit, StumbleUpon, favorite, and friend with abandon. We frequent stores and sites we love because the proprietors curate on our behalf. These shopkeepers search for and sell items they believe fit our needs and interests better than others. We pay for this service, in retail profit, in attention and repeat business, and in word-of-mouth. Kevin Whittemores customers come to Ogilvies willing to spend more money because they understand they will get only the best and most appropriate products. People pay well for curation because it offers them value. Curation saves time and offers the promise of quality, selection, knowledge, experience, brand image, class distinction, snob appeal, and tribal alignment. But curation goes beyond items we put in a store. Audiences value the experience, the conversation, the interaction as long as it involves their issues, and their interests. Harvard Business Schools John Deighton may have said it best when he stated, As a museum curator does, a firm must capture whats insightful from beyond the corporations view of itself, and store and present it in an accessible form. This means finding ways to distribute,

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not simply the organizations message or positioning, but the content of the conversation, the two-way flow of meaning and creation.1

FACES
Face-to-face interaction creates a powerful reaction in the brain. Susan Weinschenk, PhD (also known as The Brain Lady), writes that humans are born with a special part of the brain whose sole purpose is to recognize faces. The fusiform face area (FFA) allows faces to bypass the brains usual interpretive channels and helps us identify them more quickly than objects. The FFA is also near the brains emotional center.2 According to Dr. Weinschenk, the fusiform face area of the brain virtually forces us to pay attention to faces. It is why a newborn baby quickly focuses on its mothers face. This actual brain function makes us hard-wired to use a human face as a centralized point for information and believability. In-person interactions obviously rely on faces to convey stories and build relationships, but how so in the digital world? Video. The burgeoning use of digital videoeverywhere from YouTube to websites and now even in emailgrows from the power the human face brings to storytelling and relationship building.

STORIES
The human brain is also hard-wired to respond to storytelling. Presented with a story that follows the traditional story arc (more on this in Chapter 11), audiences involuntarily immerse themselves in the characters, conflict, emotion, and ultimate resolution of the storyline. We used this trick on you at the beginning of the chapter. Admit it, in your minds eye you pictured yourself inside Ogilvies. If you were ever a young mom, you may have empathized with Marjorys plight or flinched at Brians brush with poison. If you run a business, you may have seen yourself in Kevins shoes, fighting the chain stores with pluck, imagination, and pride. Stories are the crux of all great relationships and transformations.

AUTHENTICITY
What feels worse than when you buy something thinking its one thing and realize its another? How would you feel if the Rolex you purchased from the local jewelry store turned out to be a fake? Authenticity is a

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lot of things rolled up into one but deep down, its a feeling that the person or business with whom we are dealing is real, that they are what they say they are. Ogilvie & Sons does not pretend to be anything they arent. They offer advice because they think thats right. Theyll recommend another store if they think it will benefit the customer. They have created an experience with their business that is embodied by everythingfrom the way their associates interact with customers to how they answer the phone to the products they stock on the shelf. Authenticity is what forms the basis for trust and for feeling like we know what we are getting. And online that hasnt changed much. As soon as organizations hide behind their digital storefronts, preventing people from contacting them, making return policies unclear and ultimately undermining the expectations that people have of any organization, authenticity crumbles.

CONSISTENCY
Building relationships means building trust. Trust is built by establishing expectations and consistently meeting or exceeding them in a positive manner. Kevin and his staff endeavor to provide each customer with a great, personalized experience every time they walk into the store. Building relationships, especially when the only means of communication are digital, requires that we consistently deliver to our audiences expectations at every touch point, every time. If Kevin decided one week to replace his entire stock with only one brand when his customers expect choice, he would break continuity and fracture the trust his story has developed (especially as a curator). The concept of touchpoints now extends to every online interaction, and because so many of our online interactions with our audiences are through mobile devices, the concept is also becoming quite literal. Our online audience is physically touching our digital touchpoints at all hours of the day and night. That is not to say that an organization cannot ever broaden our scope. If Kevin were to enter the furniture business, for example, he could carefully build on the familiarity with the Ogilvie environment and old-fashioned service model, but add a new dynamic in his audience engagement, offering similar experiences to his customers who need furniture. To be successful, he would have to offer the new contentfurnitureand the new story with the same levels of trust, comfort, and tribal association that he has developed with his hardware audience.

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CREDIBILITY
What makes a consumer choose one organization over another? Is it just price? Availability? Selection? Or is it something else, some intangible factor that communicates to people, This is the place to shop? That intangible factor is credibility. Credibility is comprised of two fundamental elementstrust and expertise. Together, these elements tell consumers that the business not only understands what they are selling (and the challenges that their product helps solves), but also that their dealings will be above board. In other words, they wont lie about what they know or dont know. They will be forthright and honest. Coupled with expertise, it makes for a business that consumers want to deal with. And in the digital world, it isnt any different. Imagine going to a website where the product information was just a sentence, providing nothing of real substance to help you understand what the product does or how it helps you. That business would have little to no credibility.

HELPFULNESS
Developing long-lasting relationships requires that organizations focus on adding value, being helpful, and improving the lives of their target audience. Zig Ziglar said it best: Stop Selling. Start Helping.3 This means being willing to delay gratificationand not always focus on selling, or influencing, or getting the result, or reaching the organizational goal with every transaction. We have to realize that sometimes people are just curious and want to learn about something new. Or maybe they just want a friendly smile to brighten a lonely day. In the digital world, this is all about content. When people visit an organizations website, part of that crazy buyers journey we detail in Chapter 4, their relationship need has specific requirements for helpfulness that people like Kevin are innately talented at discerning.

AVOIDING THE PITFALL

In this book, we will talk a lot about engagement. But industry experts like Ann Handley, Chief Content Officer at MarketingProfs, believe that engagement (as marketers use it) is just a buzzword.

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The whole notion of engagement for marketers is really an amorphous term, she says. There is no shared definition of what it means to have an engaged customer ... or an engaged person. This is why we want to make this point before we send you on a journey through the rest of the booklooking at engagement as a thing to measure, to turn on and turn off, to control, is a fallacy. In fact, its the marketers biggest Achilles heel. Why? Because focusing on characteristics (i.e., aspects of a person, certain consumer behaviors, etc.) and not the whole picture, the whole relationship, is why digital is so problematic for marketers today. They keep looking for the justification. Look, they say, page views are up. I must be doing something right. You can get lots of people to look at your store by lighting it on fire. But that doesnt mean they want to buy anything from you. I see a lot of marketers of all kinds, whether they are marketing a band, a church, a for-profit business still being very corporate-centric with the way they approach their communications, says Ann. If marketers want to be successful, they need to be customer-centric, usercentric, people-centric. Engagement comes out of this.4 When it comes down to it, business has not really changed, whether we are operating in the digital world, the real world, or somewhere in betweenpeople want to do business with people. We all want to be treated as individuals. We crave social interaction. We focus on faces. We want to trust. What needs to change is the way organizations (and marketers) look at audiences. They need to see those audiences as people that want and need relationships. Engagement is just the means by which we connect to form those relationships. You cannot find it, you cannot create it, and you cannot manufacture it. And, you sure cannot demand it anymore. You have to discover it. You have to uncover it. You have to earn it. The rest of the book is about helping you make the most of the power of building relationships in the digital world and hopefully teaching you the things you need to do to earn them.

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