Effective Communication Strategies

Florina Olaru, lect. univ. drd. UEB

Abstract Effective communication strategies ensure positive relationships. In negotiation and conflict
resolution, mindfulness prevents breakdown in communication and enables tactical choices. Coaching through conflict implies using mindfulness in communication skills for a win-win resolution of conflicts. Key words: communication, strategies, mindfulness, negotiation, interpersonal relationships, coaching Effective dealing with conflict goes a long way in determining the success of an endeavor. n internal conflict in your team impacts on team dynamics and cohesion. !or as a leader or coach, learning how to deal with these conflicts can become a ma"or part of her#his everyday "ob. $nproductive ways such as avoiding the conflict %&It's not a big problem, why worry()*, forcing it %&I will win this argument no matter what)*, or accommodating to it %&I'll give up whatever it takes to end the conflict)*. +ne of the ways you can help alleviate team conflict is to learn and use effective mediation strategies. s a coach, you are in a powerful position to display positive conflict management in the way you communicate with athletes, parents, referees, and the media. ,here are four principles to keep in mind when trying to resolve conflict: -. ctive .istening. /isplaying a willingness to listen can help alleviate conflict. o Encourage the speaker by asking 0uestions and showing interest.
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1alidate the speaker. 2ou can still show interest in the person while not necessarily agreeing with her#his point of view. 3estate the speaker's message by paraphrasing main points. Center the conflict by trying to find the key points of the message.

4. 5on-verbal Communication. cold shoulder, eye roll, or clenched "aw can go a long way in communicating a point without even saying a word. In fact, 678 of our communication is nonverbal in nature. 9e open and consistent in your body language, helping to defuse emotion. :. $sing &I) ;tatements. ,his is centered in the belief that if the speaker takes responsibility for her#his statements others will be less likely to simply react and put up a defense. <hen comparing the following statements, the first puts the receiver of that message on the defensive due to the blaming and accusing nature of the statement and the second shows the speaker taking ownership.
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&2ou hurt the team when you don't show up to conditioning on time) &I am frustrated when you don't show up to conditioning on time)

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voiding Common Communication +bstacles. It is easy to fall into several traps when dealing with conflict. ;ome common obstacles that get in the way of effective mediation are:
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dvising> /iagnosing>

&<ell, I'll tell you what I'd do>) &2our problem is that you>) &Cheer up, it'll work out>)

/iscounting>

o o o

.ecturing> ,hreatening> @reaching>

&?ow many times do I have to tell you>) &,his is the last time I will>) &2ou ought to know better than to>)

,hereto are some practical ways to avoid building up conflict: -. Convey the value of your relationship with the person. 4. Ao slowly with what you want to communicate. :. ,ry to understand the other person's position. =. .isten to what the other person is trying to communicate. B. Confront the situation, not the person. If the previous actions fail, the breakdown in communication follows, the opponents display the following: -. Communicate the solutionC they do not focus on the problem. 4. ;top communicating. :. $se put-downs or sarcasm. =. 3ely on nonverbal hints to communicate, in a direct and forthcoming way. B. /iscuss the problem with others not associated with the conflict. <hether it is conflict over playing time, personality clashes, or negative emotions from defeat, conflict can greatly damage team chemistry. s a coach, you have responsibility to identify, manage, and defuse conflict. 9y understanding effective communication strategies you can better manage conflict within your team. Communication is the art of successfully sharing meaningful information with people by means of an interchange of eDperience. Coaches wish to motivate the athletes they work with and to provide them with information that will allow them to train effectively and improve performance. Communication from the coach to athlete will initiate appropriate actions. ,his however, re0uires the athlete to receive the information from the coach but also to understand and accept it. Coaches need to ask themselves /o I have the athleteEs attention( m I eDplaining myself in an easily understood manner(

?as the athlete understood( /oes the athlete believe what I am telling him#her( /oes the athlete accept what I am saying(

Non-verbal messages

t first, it may appear that face-to-face communication consists of taking it in turns to speak. <hile the coach is speaking, the athlete is eDpected to listen and wait patiently until the coach finishes. +n closer eDamination, it can be seen that people resort to a variety of verbal and non-verbal behaviour in order to maintain a smooth flow of communication. ;uch behaviour includes head-nods, smiles, frowns, bodily contact, eye movements, laughter, body posture, language and many other actions. ,he facial eDpressions of athletes provide feedback to the coach. AlaFed or down turned eyes indicate boredom or disinterest, as does fidgeting. !ully raised eyebrows signal disbelief and half raised indicate puFFlement. @osture of the group provides a means by which their attitude to the coach may be "udged and act as pointer to their mood. coach should be sensitive to the signals that are transmitted by the athletes in order to control a group. ,heir faces usually give a good indication of how they feel, and a good working knowledge of the meaning of non-verbal signals will prove invaluable to the coach. Communication blocks /ifficulties in communicating with an athlete may be due a number of issues including the following ,he athleteEs perception of something is different to yours ,he athlete may "ump to a conclusion instead of working through the process of hearing, understanding and accepting

,he athlete may lack the knowledge needed to understand what you are trying to communicate ,he athlete may lack the motivation to listen to you or to convert the information given into action ,he coach may have difficulty in eDpressing what she#he wishes to say to the athlete Emotions may interfere in the communication process ,here may be a clash of personality between you and the athlete

,hese blocks to communication work both ways and coaches need to consider the process of communication carefully. Effective communication contains siD elements Clear Ensure that the information is presented clearly Concise 9e concise, do not lose the message by being long winded Correct 9e accurate, avoid giving misleading information Complete Aive all the information and not "ust part of it Courteous 9e polite and non-threatening, avoid conflict Constructive 9e positive, avoid being critical and negative Be Positive <hen coaches provide information to the athlete that will allow them to take actions to effect change, it is important that they provide the information in a positive manner. .ook for something positive to say first and then provide the information that will allow the athlete to effect a change of behavior or action. Effective Communication Techniques to Reduce Conflict The Defusing Technique: ,he other person might be angry and may come to the situation armed with a number of arguments describing how you are to blame for his or her unhappiness. 2our goal is to address

the other's anger G and you do this by simply agreeing ith the person . <hen you find some truth in the other point of view, it is difficult for the other person to maintain anger. !or eDample, &I know that I said I would call you last night. 2ou are absolutely right. I wish I could be more responsible sometimes.) ,he accusation might be completely unreasonable from your viewpoint, but there is always some truth in what the other person says. t the very least, we need to acknowledge that individuals have different ways of seeing things. ,his does not mean that we have to compromise our own basic principles. <e simply validate the other's stance so that we can move on to a healthier resolution of the conflict. ,his may be hard to do in a volatile situation, but a sign of individual strength and integrity is the ability to postpone our immediate reactions in order to achieve positive goals. ;ometimes we have to &lose) in order, ultimately, to &win.) Empathy: ,ry to put yourself into the shoes of the other person. ;ee the world through their eyes. Empathy is an important listening techni0ue which gives the other feedback that he or she is being heard. ,here are two forms of empathy. Thought Empathy gives the message that you understand what the other is trying to say. 2ou can do this in conversation by paraphrasing the words of the other person. !or eDample, &I understand you to say that your trust in me has been broken.) Feeling Empathy is your acknowledgment of how the other person probably feels. It is important never to attribute emotions which may not eDist for the other person %such as, &2ou're confused with all your emotional upheaval right now)*, but rather to indicate your perception of how the person must be feeling. !or eDample, &I guess you probably feel pretty mad at me right now.) E!ploration: sk gentle, probing 0uestions about what the other person is thinking and feeling. Encourage the other to talk fully about what is on his or her mind. !or eDample, & re there any other thoughts that you need to share with me() "#$ %tatements: ,ake responsibility for your own thoughts rather than attributing motives to the other person. ,his decreases the chance that the other person will become defensive. !or eDample, &I feel pretty upset that this thing has come between us.) ,his statement is much more effective than saying, &2ou have made me feel very upset.) %tro&ing: !ind positive things to say about the other person, even if the other is angry with you. ;how a respectful attitude. !or eDample, &I genuinely respect you for having the courage to bring this problem to me. I admire your strength and your caring attitude.) ?ere is a model that may help in resolving interpersonal conflicts. #dentify the 'roblem. ?ave a discussion to understand both sides of the problem. ,he goal at this initial stage is to say what you want and to listen to what the other person wants. /efine the things that you both agree on, as well as the ideas that have caused the disagreement. It is important to listen actively to what the other is saying, use &I) statements and avoid blame. (ome Up )ith %everal 'ossible %olutions. ,his is the brainstorming phase. /rawing on the points that you both agree on and your shared goals, generate a list of as many ideas as you can for solving the problem, regardless of how feasible they might be. im toward 0uantity of ideas rather than 0uality during this phase, and let creativity be your guide. Evaluate These *lternative %olutions. 5ow go through the list of alternative solutions to the problem, one by one. Consider the pros and cons of the remaining solutions until the list is narrowed down to one or two of the best ways of handling the problem. It is important for each person to be honest in this phase. ,he solutions might not be ideal for either person and may involve compromise. Decide on the Best %olution. ;elect the solution that seems mutually acceptable, even if it is not perfect for either party. s long as it seems fair and there is a mutual commitment to work with the decision, the conflict has a chance for resolution. #mplement the %olution. It is important to agree on the details of what each party must do, who is responsible for implementing various parts of the agreement, and what to do in case the agreement starts to break down. (ontinue to Evaluate the %olution. Conflict resolutions should be seen as works in progress. Hake it a point to ask the other person from time to time how things are going. ;omething uneDpected might have

come up or some aspect of the problem may have been overlooked. 2our decisions should be seen as open to revision, as long as the revisions are agreed upon mutually. 3eferences Aross, 9., I Jimmerman, A. %-KK6*. Mediating interpersonal conflict. 5orth Hanchester, I5: Education for Conflict 3esolution. !isher, 3., I $ry, <. %-KK-*. Getting to yes. 5ew 2ork: @enguin 9ooks. ,oropov, 9. %-KK6*. The art and skill of dealing with people. @aramus, 5L: @rentice ?all.