How To Be You

(and still get laid)

- Written by Alan Pysnack

The Introduction

Forewarning to the reader:

There wont be any sugarcoating in this book. There wont be any little grey boxes with neat pointers or cute and pointless anecdotes. Im not here to give you a book full of fluff; Im here to give it to you raw dog without a bag, put a baby inside of you, and stiff you on the child support. That being said, Im going to preface this book with a little bit of information about myself. After this introductory chapter, it is mandatory that youre clinging on to every single word and re-reading every paragraph until you fully understand the point Im trying to get across within it.

If you enjoyed this book - I urge you to please, please send this to a friend or two. Help me get this out to the masses, and maybe I can even publish a better, longer, final version. This is simply the first version of a book that I do plan on extending to include advice on maintaining relationships with longevity once youve found that one, more in depth secrets to filling up your datebook as well as a couple of personal pick-up lines and techniques that I dont typically share with others.

Paypal donations to acff8@yahoo.com are greatly appreciated, but not mandatory.

I also want to express the sincerity of my appreciation to those of you who are willing to read this book in its entirety, and I extend an open invitation to all of you to please contact me if you have any lingering questions that werent addressed in the content of these pages. The most

important thing to me is that Im able to change your life the way I was able to change my own, and I will do whatever I can to make sure that it happens. Email all questions, concerns and success stories to purleedef@gmail.com

My name is Alan. I dont have a cool nickname like many of the so-called pick-up artists that I fetch to women. Im just myself. More importantly, Im here to teach you how to be yourself. I will expound on that topic later.

I was born with bilateral microtia and atresia. In laymans terms, it means I was born without any form of an external ear structure. After 30 surgeries between the ages of 5 and 13, my ears still werent exactly normal by most standards, but I could hear. However, it was a corollary that my hearing would end up moderately to severely damaged as the result, which often caused me to struggle to function in society. It also had an adverse effect on my speech. Even to this day, after years of speech therapy, I still have an apparent lisp in my speech. To put it simply, the letter S is a high frequency sound that doesnt register very well in my ears, so its hard to correct a mistake that I cant physically hear myself making. Oh, and I was fat. Real fat.

So take a hearing impairment, a physical deformity, a speech impediment, and obesity and mix those all into a potand youve got little me with rock bottom self-confidence. I was 13 years old, insecure with myself, anti-social on multiple levels and a huge failure with women. Its a paradigm that consumed my life for years. Even after I lost the weight, there was a 3 year period where I had the same amount of success with women despite my improved appearance and my conscious efforts towards trying out different pick-up artist techniques that just didnt

work for me. After tireless efforts and fervent dedication, it just all began to click together. It was a long process, but the end result came to me relatively fast. Someone once said to me, Its not that easy to just gain confidence. To them I said the following:

It was about a month after I turned 21 years old before I had ever kissed a girl. I was a complete loser throughout most of middle school, and an introverted loner throughout the couple years of high school that I did attend. I dropped out when I was 16 years old with a 3.875 GPA and got my G.E.D. because quite frankly I was depressed being around people and knowing that I didn't fit in. By the time I turned 21 years old I could probably count the girls that I had hugged (who weren't family members) on one hand. There are probably only 2 girls that didn't work at hooters who had even kissed me on the cheek. I had never been kissed. On my 21st birthday I went to Disney (free admission) by myself. I sat alone in front of Cinderellas castle during the firework display while everyone else around me was cuddled up with their friends, family and lovers. I sat alone in my own misery, silently pining for love and affection.

So yeah, its safe to say that I was relatively unsuccessful with women, and I was most definitely not happy about it.

But I changed. It wasn't an overnight thing. I simply kept trying because I knew I was unsatisfied with who I was and where I was at. I tried everything. I even tried being an asshole to women. I've emulated the advice given to me by some of the most renowned pick-up artists in the world: Styles, Mystery, David DeAngelo, Tyler Durden; you name it, Ive tried it. I know

what works and what doesn't. Furthermore and most IMPORTANTLY, I know WHY it works.

It just so happened that I got completely lucked into my first experience with a girl. I'm not going to go into the details, it ended badly. I wasn't in a relationship with her, but I did kiss her and make out with her on the first night, which was a huge leap forward in the mind of a 21 year old guy who had never been kissed before. I wasn't completely ready to have sex at the time because I wanted my first time to be with someone special. The opportunity had presented itself, but I passed.

She was hot though. I went most of my life thinking that a girl like that would be out of my league, but she kissed me and she found me attractive. That was the most important part of the story. She found me attractive. Can you believe it? ME! She found ME attractive. That meant that it was just as possible for other women to find me attractive, and that meant it was ACTUALLY a possibility for me to be in a relationship with someone.

I added a bit of satire to that last paragraph, but it IS how I felt inside. It's a feeling that most people are never going to have in their life because they've never been to the point where they thought that it was absolutely impossible for anyone to ever love them. Learn to fully appreciate that, and youll be much better at succeeding with women.

By the time I was 22 years old, I went from being a 21 year old virgin to making out with about 20 different girls a month. Heres the kicker, I didnt know ANY of these girls prior to engaging in carnal relationships with them. Im not here to parade around my sex life and go into

details; I'm not wilt chamberlain who has slept with 20,000 women, but I feel confident in saying that in the span of a year and a half between my first kiss and my current relationship, I was having much more consistent success with girls than most men can say they do. Anyone, no matter what their success with women, should be able to find solace within this story; if I can be successful, anyone can.

It all comes down to understanding your own value. I'm not perfect, nobody's perfect....but I do have something to offer. I'm relatively intelligent, I'm funny, I'm musically talented, and most of all, I've overcome a lot of obstacles to get to where I am in my life and I'm proud of that. Yes, I'm still hearing impaired which does have social implications; and I would trade going back to being fat for being able to hear perfectly any day, because I promise, hearing is way more important in picking up women than being attractive is...but it's not a crutch. Nothing is.

So what could possibly invoke such a rapid change in my success rate with women? Its simple: I developed core confidence. I had seen all the pick-up artist videos, read all the books, tried all the techniques, yet I had no success. It was through tons of trial and error that I finally found out what was having a positive effect on my interactions with women and what wasnt.

Yes, there ARE actually some things Ive learned from pick-up artists that do work, but theres so much filler in the PUA community these days that theyre pitching out hours and hours of pointless video footage and thousands of pages of worthless informationbut I know what you want is the shit that actually works. You want the information thats actually useful without having to dig through entire books full of preachy nonsense. Thats what Im here for. Im

basically here to filter out all of the pointless information that you dont need to know and give you the information that will allow you to be more successful women.

There will inevitably be a few hints, pick-up lines, and things that you can use as canned material if you wish, but ultimately you need to learn how to come up with your own methods of attracting women. Giving you pick-up lines is pretty much tantamount to me giving you a fish to feed you for a day, Id rather teach you to fish so you can feed yourself for a lifetime.

Chapter 1.1 The Basics

Its easy for a man to misconstrue the mind of a woman; especially when you consider that humans in general tend to have the bad habit of reflecting their own ideologies onto others. The result is that most men will logically assume that a womans brain innately functions in a manner that is identical to his. We all know that men are typically shallow creatures who often value physical appearance above many of the more prominent character traits when searching for a significant other. Naturally, men tend to make the false assumption that women abide by the same rules which is contrary to the truth.

The reality of the situation is that women are far more interested in a mans personality than his looks. We have all seen that guy, who was dating wayyyyy out of his league, and wondered to ourselves how he couldve possibly managed to pull it off. The truth is that looks play a very minimal role in a womans attraction to a man. This often gets accredited to our biological instincts that inherit their traits from a more primitive mindset that was inherent in the Stone Age era, during which men were expected to be the hunters and gatherers in order to support for their families. In other words, women are attracted to the alpha male.

Even now, in the 21st Century, during a time where women are more than capable of independently taking care of themselves and their children without the help of anyone else; they still have the subconscious need to feel like their men are capable of providing for them, and more importantly, the need to feel like their men are capable of protecting them. Those are all primary traits of an alpha male, and those are the foundations of a womans attraction to a man,

not his physical appearance.

So you can put aside that lingering feeling of insecurity which derives from a couple crooked teeth, a few extra pounds, or maybe you just never quite reached 6 feet without standing on your tippy toes. None of it matters. I repeat; NONE of it matters. The world of attraction is much broader than just your physical appearance. Its the things you say and how you say them that are the most important aspects of seduction.

If you've ever seen the movie "Hitch", or read the acclaimed novel, "The Game" by Neil Strauss, or even happened to be channel surfing and stumbled upon an unusual reality show called "The Pick-Up Artist" on VH1, then you have some sort of insight into the growing phenomenon that is known as "The Seduction Community". To sum it up for you, the purpose of pick-up artistry is to provide an arsenal of tools and techniques that will allow any average Joe who has little-to-no success with females to wind up in bed with some of the most gorgeous women in the world. However, pick-up artistry as of late has become archaic, outdated and prone to excessive exposure which calls for a revamp.

Most of the negative Stigma attached to the seduction community revolves around the idea that the sole purpose of a pick-up artist is to get laid. It's important to note that pick-up artistry (also commonly known as PUA) is not just about sex. Many men simply had no luck at all with women and found pick-up artistry to be the answer in helping them find a relationship. Much like buying a gun, it's up to the user to decide whether they use it for good or for evil.

One of the primary issues with pick-up artistry is that because it is built around an alpha-male mindset, it can sometimes be demeaning towards women. Such is shown in one of the key concepts in seduction called negging, making subtle-yet-negative statements that put your target off-guard and make her question her own value,' increasing yours on a relative basis. (Odom 6).

Typically negging a woman often causes the male to come across as an asshole. Primarily the reason for this is to shut down a woman's "Bitch Shield", a popular PUA terminology used to describe an attempt to talk to a girl whom immediately shuts down the approaching male under the pretense that he just wants to have sex. Often times, the PUA community does seem to have misogynistic values, which are primarily predicated on the "women only like assholes" mentality that has stemmed from it.

This is the first huge misconception that has festered from within the PUA community. I hear this phrase more and more every week: Women always go for the assholes. Usually, the phrase is being uttered by a pissed off geek who was recently friend-zoned by a girl that he has had a crush on since elementary school. Hell go on a long tangent about how hes no longer going to be one of the good guys and how hes going to conform to being an asshole so maybe hell start reeling in the women.

First thing is first. Guys, please stop blaming girls and taking it out on them because theyre not attracted to you. If a guy doesn't know how to establish attraction at the beginning of his relationship, that's his own fault. Girls don't like assholes, girls like guys with confidence. The problem is that most guys will only cater to one out of the two sides of the spectrum. A guy will

either be too nice, too sweet; a human doormat with no testicular fortitude; or he will be an asshole, but he will be an asshole with confidence.

So lets say we have a human doormat with no confidence and we put him up against an asshole with confidence, then we take a survey and start asking women which of the two they would prefer. Were working off of the major premise that girls are attracted to guys with confidence, so categorical syllogism does suggest that she's going to be attracted to the asshole. Of course categorical syllogism would ALSO point out that just because he's an asshole doesn't mean she's going to be attracted to him and just because you're not an asshole doesn't mean you don't have confidence.

In simpler terms to put this concept into your head in a spot where it will always stay: - Major Premise Girls are attracted to guys with confidence - Minor Premise Most assholes have confidence - Conclusion Girls are attracted to most assholes.

- Danny is not an asshole, but Danny does have confidence. Are girls attracted to Danny? The answer to the last question is yes, and the point is that you dont need to be an asshole to have confidence. As a guy, you need to know how to establish attraction if you hope to have a relationship with a girl. You can't just start out with someone as "Just friends and then decide that you want to pursue her later on down the road, because then youre going to end up with the like-a-brother syndrome.

Even if she has a boyfriend, you can attempt to establish attraction without actually overstepping boundaries. You dont need to insult her boyfriend or try to make her think any less of him by downplaying him with useless platitudes about how She deserves someone better, just BE better, smarter, more interesting. Shell see it herself, and if its meant to be, then it will be.

In the meanwhile, dont let yourself get hung up on any one girl. There are millions of women around you, and there will always be someone better looking, someone smarter, someone funnier to choose from. The minute you drop all of your interest in other women in hopes of pursuing an unrequited love, I assure you thats the very minute you will have lost every possible chance you ever had with her in the first place. Women do not want a guy who is needy or clingy, and by focusing all of your efforts solely on her, youre being just that. The point is that your game should always be on, and should always be on point, no matter what girl youre talking to.

If you're the type of guy who approaches a girl and says "I know...I have....no chance with you, and you probably don't like me...but, I like you..."

Then yes, 9 times out of 10 you're damn right you have no chance. Girls aren't uninterested because you're not an asshole; girls are uninterested because you're uninteresting. Women don't want a guy who's a doormat, nor do they want a push-over. They want a man who is confident in himself, strong-willed and who stands by his own beliefs. The primary reason why pick-up artistry has worked for many less-than-average looking men is because it gave them an identity that they were confident in. Its much like being given a placebo and being tricked into thinking

that the magic pill you just took is what made you better, but the reality is that you were never sick to begin with. Really, it's the confidence in the techniques that ultimately allowed many of the PUA techniques to be successful in the first place.

"[Before I ever actually knew anything about pick-up artistry or had any luck with women at all,] I went on the internet and I typed in "How to pick up chicks" and I found this poem about a beautiful sunset and a jazz band and sitting there with a girl, and it was just this beautiful poem. I read this poem and I thought to myself, "This is the answer!" It even said "If you say this poem to a girl, she will fall in love with you forever" and I was as naive as to think that this was true. Girls are pretty emotional, so if I get her emotional with this poem, I will get all the girls that I want in the world. Here I am in my little 60,000 person town in Australia thinking "I'm gonna be the biggest pimp in the world! I've got the poem of glory." So I go out. You know in a night club, you're out and there's hot women everywhere, but then there's one woman, out of all the girls that's just that much hotter than the rest, but there's only one. So I see her, she goes and sits down and I think to myself "Yep....it's poem time!" (audience laughs) so I roll in, and I sit down next to her, like totally chill. I'm 100% sure that this girl's coming home with me, for sure. So I sit down, and I'm like "Hey" and she's like "Oh.....hey" and I recite this stuff, word for word. There's a beautiful jazz band, the sunsets rolling in with the waves, blah blah blah...the most gayest, retarded shit you have ever heard in your life. So this girl, she started looking at me weird from the start, but I didn't care, I just kept going, swirling along with the poem. She's like...really? Yeah....yeah! She started getting sucked into it; drawn into this poem. Anyways, I was so 100% assured of this poem that I was like "Boom...I have a new girlfriend now" and I actually pulled her home that night." (Marc).

This story told by renowned pick up artist, Tim from Real Social Dynamics, shows how the confidence in a technique is more effective than the technique itself. When this story took place, Tim wasnt the famous PUA coach he has come to be; he was just a hopeless guy who had a lot of faith. He wasnt using traditional opening pick-up lines, negs, or subterfuges to try and hook up with the girl; he just had faith that this method would prove to be successful, and it was. It wasnt until much later in his life that he managed to learn how to properly close the deal with a woman and began to see success with a level of consistency, and it all started with simply understanding the importance of his confidence level.

The commonly held belief that you need to be an asshole to get women is not true. The technique described in the previous passage was something of a stereotypical hopeless romantic. It had nothing to do with being an asshole, yet it still worked. When youre using canned or prewritten and memorized lines to get girls, it's simply the false confidence that you have in the character youve created for yourself that allows you to get women. If youre 100% confident in the belief that being an asshole will help you get women then chances are that when youre an asshole, youre going to get women. Its just a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The problem is that many people think you NEED to be that character to get women. They conform to being dicks to women which isnt necessary. Id also like to point out that pick-up artistry is becoming less and less obscure by the day; there was a time when only a few thousand people knew what a Neg was, now that number has reached over to millions. Women know when youre trying to pick them up with canned material, theyve heard many of the same lines from guys before, and eventually the whole asshole faade is just going to begin setting off red

lights for women to keep their guards up. The same clich tricks are going to stop working the moment that absolutely everyone and their mother is using them.

So what is the solution? To build core confidence: A confidence in yourself, for who you are right now. Without confidence, no trick or technique in the world will ever help you. With confidence, tricks and techniques aren't even necessary.

Confidence is what makes a girl feel secure around you; Confidence is what makes a woman believe that youre capable of providing for her; Confidence is what makes a woman believe that youre capable of protecting her; Confidence is what makes her want to have sex with her. Confidence, confidence, CONFIDENCE! It will be the one word I say more than any other in this book, and even then, it cannot be stressed it enough. If I could just say Be Confident one time and make it click in the mind of every reader, I wouldve saved a lot of damn time writing and ended this entire book after two words. The next few paragraphs are absolutely crucial to your success with women. It may seem simple, but you really cannot construct without a solid foundation to build on.

Chapter 1.2 Be Yourself

One of the biggest issues with our society today as is that we dont know what real confidence feels like. The majority of us have grown accustomed to drawing our self-esteem from external sources and not from within. In the 1920s, advertisement became fixated on using sex to sell their products. Media in turn, has caused us to base much of our self-worth on either material possessions or some form of outside source that isn't a constant. This is a frequent problem that affects women just as much as it does men. Its a lot like being inside of the matrix; it might look and feel like the real thing to you, but the truth is that its just a faux simulation of what having core confidence really feels like. If you notice your eyes starting to hurt, its because youve never used them before.

Let's say that a man walks into a store and buys a pair of $100 shoes. For two weeks up to a month, he will typically feel much more satisfied with himself as well as his physical appearance every time he walks around in those shoes. He holds his head higher and puffs his chest out just a little bit more for a brief period of time. It will temporarily give him a false sense of reassurance and make him feels like every girl in the mall is checking him out and looking at his shoes, but after a month the effect wears off. It wont be very much longer before those once brand new shoes end up in the back of his closet with all the others.

The common cure is to go back and buy more shoes, buy more clothes, buy more jewelry, get a new haircut, buy a nice car, even buy a big house; ANY type of material possession that would require him to waste a pretty penny in order to feel good about himself. The ironic reality of the

mall situation is that most women who viewed him walking around in those brand new shoes probably didnt even notice what kind of shoes he was wearing in the first place. So the only difference between having the shoes and not having them is whether or not he perceives himself in a positive light.

Here's a secret that I'm going to share with you: You do NOT need ANY of this in order to attract beautiful women. Does it help just a little tiny bit if you have a six figure income and a nice house and a nice car? Honestly? No. It really is completely useless. It's simply corporations and social media exploiting your hunger for affection by telling you that you'll be considered more attractive if you buy their product. Ill admit that it's great marketing on their behalf, but a horrible expenditure on yours.

Ultimately women want stability from a guy. They want a pillar of strength to lean on when times are hard. You dont need a mansion or a Bentley to be an alpha male in her eyes, or in the eyes of others. You simply need to be a man who is decisive, a man who is assertive, and a man whose status as a man is unassailable.

So you might be thinking "If looks don't matter and I don't need to be rich to get women, what am I doing wrong?" You've heard this phrase at least a thousand times in your life: "Just be yourself". This is a phrase that I think gets misinterpreted by the majority of people who hear it. When someone says "Be yourself and she'll totally like you", what they're really saying is "Be your BEST self".

We're only humans. We all experience a wide range of emotions from positive to negative. If you just discovered that your girlfriend of 5 years has been cheating on you with your best friend, you're probably not going to be happy about it. Chances are that youll be depressed. Hell, you might even end up sitting in your bathroom tub wearing 2 pounds of black eyeliner, bawling your eyes out while slitting your wrist and listening to My Chemical Romance. Does that mean you arent being yourself during all of the times where youve been depressed? Obviously those are your own emotions and you're not faking them to impress anyone. By definition, youre being yourself; but the fact remains that when you're trying to introduce yourself to someone new, that is definitely not the you that they need to see.

First impressions are everything, and people always want to see you at your absolute best. Life is hard all around, but sometimes you just have to rise above the adversity and not let it bother you. The key here is to ask yourself, When am I at my absolute best? I'm sure you have a best friend or a sibling, a mother or a father, maybe even your grandparent, just any one person youre always open and comfortable with. Think about who that person is in your life, and picture how you act when you're around that person. That is you at your absolute best.

I became socially conscious of this when I was hanging out with my best friend and I noticed firsthand that I usually come up with the funniest jokes, have the most intellectual and in depth conversations, and my personality overall is the most optimistic and entertaining when I'm just hanging out with him. The best part is that you now know that you have the capacity to be that person, so all you have to do is capture yourself in that moment and emulate it when meeting someone new. If you treat everyone you meet as if they've been your best friend for years, you

will develop much stronger connections with people in a shorter amount of time.

The second part of core confidence is to stop questioning yourself. One of the most unappealing things that a man or a woman can do is go up to another person and ask them for validation. Often times, the feeling of validation can also give us a sense confidence. Let's say a girl comes up to you and says "You're cute" and you feel somewhat more confident in yourself. At that point, you're drawing your confidence from her validation. The problem with this is that if you arent being complimented constantly, on a daily or even hourly basis, you're not going to feel confident. Often times this causes us to crave attention from others. To go up to a woman and ask them "Do you think I'm attractive?" in any jargon, is possibly one of the most unattractive and needy things you can do.

A person with core confidence knows their own value and does not need to seek approval from others. I've often said in a somewhat joking manner that one of the most important possessions that any man or woman could ever own is the "perfect" bathroom mirror. The bathroom mirror that you always look good in, so when you wake up in the morning and go to use the restroom, the first thing you do is see yourself and think "Damn I'm pretty! Narcissism is not a crime. Its about knowing when to be cocky and knowing when to be humble.

However, value goes beyond physical appearance. We each have our own individual positives and negatives and nobody knows you like you do. You know exactly how funny, loyal, intelligent, kind-hearted, fun and unique that you are. You know every obstacle that you've overcome in your life and how much strength it has taken for you to get where you are now. Stop

and wonder to yourself whether or not your life could possibly be any worse given your circumstances. Chances are that no matter how many things you feel like youve done wrong, there are some things that youve done right.

Your best attributes are what define your value in the eyes of others. Nobody should ever make you question yourself, because you know you have the ability to add something profound to the lives of the people around you. You just need to draw from that and be proud of who you are, why youre different, and what you can do. Confidence will soon be your greatest attribute of them all, and always remember that you do not need other peoples acceptance to make you feel good about yourself.

Chapter 1.3 Body Language

One of the biggest indicators of confidence is body language. It is no secret that women can read body language far more proficiently than men can. If a man isnt confident, a woman can see it from a mile away without even having to talk to him. His body language tells her everything she needs to know. From the way that he walks, the way that he stands, to the way he sits, everything he does sends some kind of signal telling her whether or not he feels like hes in his comfort zone. The key word is comfort. You should always go through the efforts to make yourself feel as comfortable as possible in any position, no matter how unique they may be to you. If you dont look comfortable, you look like youre trying too hard. For example, if youre sitting on a couch with someone, make sure that you lean back. If you sit hunched up in an awkward seating position and look like youre anxious about something then youre not properly conveying confidence.

Whenever youre standing around or doing anything, start making a conscious effort to think about how others might perceive you in the stance that youre currently in. Do you look confident, or do you look awkward? Your body naturally sends you the signals you need to be relaxed, so just give in to them.

My best piece of advice when it comes to body language is to be attentive to detail while watching movies and television shows; one of the hardest things to do as an actor is to consciously play the role of a character while subconsciously trying to convey natural body language; especially when it comes to free standing in place with nothing to lean on and nothing

in your hands. Youll notice that some actors are much better at it than others. Pay close attention to the actors who pull it off seamlessly, because theyre the ones who you can emulate in order to always look comfortable.

Also, its important that you always remember that you cant change others, you can only change yourself. For example: you cant take a girl who only likes guys with piercings and make her like you if you dont have a piercing. What you CAN do, is get a piercing. This is just an unlikely example used to illustrate an idea, so dont go putting a hole in your eyebrow and then tell your mom it was detrimental to your success with women. Changing your personality on the other hand, might be.

Theres nothing wrong with striving to be a better you. In fact, no matter who you are right now, or how far youve come, you should always try to improve. Strive to be more intelligent, wittier, healthier, and well-rounded. Maintain your hygiene and always try to look your best without trying too hard. You dont need to spend excessive amounts of money on brand names to look good. A man should stand just as tall in a pair of Nikes as he does in a pair of Wal-Mart cross-trainers. Keeping yourself maintained will make you that much happier with your life. You affect everyone around you, and its up to you if that effect will be negative or positive.

Chapter 1.3 The Power of Words

The key concept that is absolutely vital to your ability to step outside of the box and which will allow you to become more socially aware is being able to understand the art of communication. Im a writer at heart, so Ive always had a fascination with analyzing peoples interactions and the execution of wording that people use. Words can be used to manipulate the world around you when implemented properly, but many people just dont seem to appreciate the beauty of language enough to put the kind of effort in to learn how to use it effectively.

A word is basically a representation of a thought, or an idea. The purpose of language is to take an image or an idea thats inside of my head and to successfully put it into your head. If I were to say the word dog, you would most likely get an image of a dog inside your head. The actual kind of dog may vary from person to person and differs based on your own experiences. This is where the key word comes in: detail. Youve heard the word thousands of times, dating all the way back to when you first started writing stories in elementary school. If I say a black dog then obviously you would picture a black dog. If I just said dog then they might picture their neighbors Chihuahua, or even their old Golden Retriever. Without detail, the word dog by itself manages to distort the overall idea that Im trying to put inside of your head.

Think about that last sentence, Distorts the overall idea that Im trying to put inside of your head. When it comes down to it, its a lot like having a super power. You actually have the ability to take a thought inside of your head and put into someone elses. Thats insane. Thats some Heroes Matt Parkman shit, yo. You actually have the ability to use your words to dictate

other peoples actions. You can call your mom on the phone and plead hard enough to convince her to bring you home some McDonalds, cant you? So if you put together the right words in the right sequence and say them with the right amount of authority, you can convince anyone to do absolutely anything.

Its not about what you say; its about how you say it. I could get into an argument with someone who I dislike and say Fuck you faggot and its going to bounce off of him like a racket ball. Its an overused platitude that doesnt really mean anything. However, if I sincerely wanted to hurt him, it is possible to do so with all the right words and ideas. I could attack his personal life and emotions, I could compare him to his drug addict abusive dad and tell him that he will never be considered a viable father for any child because when it comes down to it, hes exactly like his old man. Words can be weapons. If you attack someone the right way, it will have a real effect.

The same concept applies when talking to women. You could walk up to a girl and say Hey baby, whats your sign? and get a nonresponse or an outright slap in the face; or you could actually say something with content that strikes a chord with her, tapping into her feelings and emotions. If words are powerful enough to make a man hate you, theyre most certainly powerful enough to make a woman love you.

Details are the key essential when it comes to having a well thought out and worthwhile conversation, regardless of who youre talking to. Speaking in detail provides a better image for your listener and allows them to respond more efficiently. It also usually provides them with

multiple different ways to respond, which is the best way to avoid awkward silences and the struggle to come up with something to talk about. A good conversation usually plays out like a game of tennis; one person serves the ball and the other person hits it back. It goes back and forth between the two players until one person eventually drops the ball.

One issue that a lot of men and women seem to have is the lack of ability to go in depth and elaborate. The world of technology has only worsened the issue. Often times Ill look at the conversations people have online and Ill constantly see one party respond to a statement made by another party with something as simple as lol which in actuality provides no image for the other person whatsoever; its basically the equivalent of laughing at a joke someone else says and then breaking out into an awkward silence. If you did that with a woman in real life, your chances would be blown with her almost immediately.

Try to make yourself more conscious of the things you say and how theyre perceived. Attempt to make sure that most of the things you say are capable of eliciting a response from the person youre speaking to. Something such as a question will always be able to elicit a response, but if its something that can be answered by either yes or no without details then its probably too simple. The question What music do you listen to? always gets a much better response than the question Do you like music? Asking her an onslaught of questions is also relatively creepy and makes the other person feel as if theyre being interrogated. If you keep your conversations interesting and elaborate, they will flow seamlessly.

Often times we attempt to project ourselves as perfect and either try to ignore our mistaks, or

just choose to not acknowledge them altogether. This brings me to a concept that I call breaking character. At this point, if youve been paying attention, then youre quite possibly discrediting me in your head for misspelling the word mistake, but I did it on purpose to illustrate an idea. Breaking character is basically the concept of acknowledging the elephant in the room. Its the idea that there are two levels of reality, one thats above the surface and one thats below. Below the surface are all the things you think about but dont say out loud.

Lets say youre having a conversation with someone and it hits a wall. No conversation goes on forever, but if its someone you just met then theres probably going to be an awkward silence. If neither of you says anything, youll both feel uncomfortable and want to leave the situation altogether. This is about the time where you both pull out your cell phones and pretend to answer a text while averting eye contact with each other.

Dont do it. Breaking character is the ability to acknowledge that its awkward and can often times break the tension between you two and still be funny. Hell, you can even go as far as pulling out your phone and saying Okay now Im going to pull out my phone and pretend to text someone while avoiding contact until I think of something to say. You might get a laugh out of her, and by acknowledging it an unusual social habit that many people often do, you become more genuine and dont lose any credibility in the other persons eyes. By not acknowledging it, that person might even be slightly more skeptical about conversing with you on a consistent basis on the false pretense that youre not an interesting person. They barely know you at this point, so all they can do is assume that youll converse with them like this every time you speak. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is break the ice.

Chapter 2 What PUA Does Right

While Im not a huge fan of the concept of negging women, peacocking, and a select few of the other silly, trite PUA methods that I find unnecessary; there are some things that are worth talking about that do work. So what is a standard Pick Up in the seduction community? Basically, its like this: A guy walks into a group of girls (under the common assumption that most beautiful women are rarely alone in public, which is generally true) and starts some sort of stimulating conversation. He indicates a time constraint and says something similar to I have to get back to my friends in a second but in order make the women feel more at ease with his presence knowing that he wont be there long. Afterwards, pick up artists will often use some kind of canned material, meaning theyll already have a pre-written conversation opener ready like Who lies more, men or women? At that point, the man singles out one girl that he wants to target and throws playful jabs at her and tries to convey himself as uninterested by focusing more on the other girls and insulting the target.

He tosses out a few DHVs (demonstrations of higher value) which are basically little stories or anecdotes that would make him appear as if all the women want him, or that hes stronger or better than any other guy in the room or that hes in general just too good for the target. Its typically a push and pull relationship with the target where he gives her attention then takes it away from her, much like how one would reward a dog with a treat for behaving the way he wants her to. Finally, the man would close in one way or another, either a kiss, a phone number, or some other form of extraction (taking her away from her current location and to another club,

a restaurant or back to his house). For the most part, the method is very cookie-cutter and precise with more extensive details that Im not going to cover.

Realistically, all of this is unnecessary. With the right amount of confidence, an opening line as simple as Hello, my name is Tom is enough to generate interest from a woman. Obviously you dont want to be generic and bland with Oh, nice weather were having, but you really dont need to stick to any plan at all; a huge deviation from your usual pick-up artistry advice. Just wing it. Hell, you can even start up a conversation asking for her opinion on pick-up artistry. No matter what you say, as long as you project yourself as a normal and interesting human being who isnt a complete loser, I promise you she will be interested. However, there are some concepts in pick-up artistry that are actually quite useful and though you dont have to follow any set rules or guidelines to be successful, theyre important to know.

Complimenting women is typically forbidden within the seduction community. This is one of the rules that I feel is still relatively important, but its crucial for you to understand why. Women receive compliments from guys all the time. The especially attractive ones living in a big city like Los Angeles or Miami and who go out to bars or clubs may hear it up to 20 or more times a day. Often, a guy will go up to a girl, compliment her, and then have nothing else to say other than I just wanted to tell you youre beautiful. The saddest part about that story is that normally IS the pick-up line.

So the average frustrated chump will typically approach a girl and use the old cliche Hey, I just wanted to say youre really pretty line which gets followed by an unenthusiastic Thank

you from the woman preceding an awkward silence in which the entire time, hes hoping that shell now instantly want to jump his bones, while shes hoping hell jump off a cliff. Usually a girl makes the distinction that those guys only want to get laid and that they have no interest in her or her personality. After all, he did just walk up to her and attempt to start up a conversation with a girl he knew NOTHING about other than the color of her eyes and the size of her breasts, so her hypothesis does seem pretty valid. Thats when they put up the bitch shield. Does that mean you can never compliment a girl? No. Do it when its necessary. Do it when you sincerely want to compliment her, but dont expect her to be any more attracted or interested in you because you just complimented her, and it is definitely not an opening line that you should use. Personally, I normally never compliment a girls appearance on a first meeting or date. The fact is, you cannot compliment a girl into bed with you and it would be pointless to try. Youre honestly best off avoiding compliments altogether if you cant control yourself.

DHVs arent mandatory, but are useful and inevitable if you talk to someone long enough. A DHV as I stated earlier, is a demonstration of higher value. Basically, you want to use a story that will convey your value to the woman youre talking to without sounding braggadocios.

Lets say Danny is midway through a casual conversation with a girl that he just met and says something like Not to offend you or anythingbut the last girl I metwell, I was at a Tampa Bay Rays game with my friend and these 2 girls came up to us and started flirting with us; we danced at the concert afterwards and whateverbut then after that, this girl gives me her number, at which point I started talking to her cause she was cutebut then she started telling me these weird ass stories about how she could speak to dead people and Im like what the

fuck?! and wellbasically what Im trying to ask you before I get your number isyoure not another psycho that speaks to dead people are you?? Now if you actually breakdown and analyze the previous story, you can see the purpose that it serves. Not only does it provide entertainment for a brief period of time, but its considered a DHV because it shows that not only is the subject capable of dancing and having a good time, but it also indirectly conveys the idea that other women are interested in him, since the girls in this story were the ones who approached him at the baseball game.

Women want a guy who they know is being pursued by other women, because it shows that hes valuable. Just mentioning that he was at the rays game with his friend signifies that he have has a healthy social life, which is subliminally being picked up on by the girl whos listening to the story. Its also important to note that at no point is he trying to purposely come across as a douchebag thats bragging about his experiences. He even ended the story with a joke that ties it together and gives a logical reason as to why he would tell the story in the first place. Your tonality and body language are also important. If you have a serious face when you deliver the last line of that story, the girl may not know youre joking and take offense. Tone is extremely important and being able to emphasize that youre just joking will make the difference between a successful and unsuccessful pick-up. You should attempt to take your own experiences and think of ways to word them that will allow you to come across as social, strong and healthy. All of these values are appealing to women.

Opening up with a girl is just a matter of having the courage to go up to her. If you think you need some sort of conversation opener, use one. A good conversation opener brings up a

profound or interesting topic thats hard to ignore. It can even be somewhat controversial.

Hey, real quick, I just wanted to get an opinion from a group of females (or female). I was talking to a friend of mine; I dont know if youve ever heard of this, but its called the cult of true womanhood, it was sort of a paradigm for the 1800s. Basically the concept suggests that all women are biologically ingrained to be pure, pious, domesticated and submissive. He thinks that if women conformed to those values, marriages would actually be more successful. I just wanted to hear a womans perspective on the issue.

This is just an example, but absolutely any topic of conversation can be effective. The easiest way to get into her circle of friends is to spark up an interesting debate. You can damn well believe that no girl is ever going to ignore being told that she is predisposed to being submissive and domesticated. Dont go out of your way to offend her, simply be interested in her response and give one back. Notice I didnt say seem interested. Im telling you now, be interested. Be interesting. Its okay to disagree with her, but have your own opinion and be able to give examples to back it up.

Oh I used to keep my room squeaky clean but always had issues keeping women, then a female friend of mine once told me I was too neatthen I started leaving cans of soda around the room, clothes on the ground, and then all of a sudden Id notice all these girls who were coming over to my house would actually start cleaning it all up for me. I dont even know why I bothered cleaning in the first place if I knew they were just gonna do it themselves. You can present a reasonable debate against her argument without being a misogynist.

Once you have her engaged in conversation, focus on the conversation, not the girl. Say something witty when the opportunity pops up. Youre showing her that youre intelligent enough to talk about a real topic that has intellectual value, confident enough to approach a group of strangers, and if you can make them laugh in the process, youve got it made. Show interest in a girls mind, not her body. If she says something interesting, make the effort to compliment her on her argument, not her appearance. It shows that youre actually interested in what she has to say and that youre not just some guy trying to sleep with her.

If you dont like the idea of using pre-written openers, eavesdropping on a conversation already taking place works just as well. This is why I think hearing is so amazingly critical to success with women. Sure, it can be slightly invasive, but if the conversation is interesting enough, its understandable that you just had to put in your two cents. You may not even have to invade their conversation if you just use wit and guile.

One night I went to a sports bar by myself to work on a novel. I happened to see this group of friends who were seated just a couple tables over, one of which was a pretty girl that I had taken interest in. Initially I had no intention of trying to pick her up, or even approaching her until a lady in her mid 50s began going table to table with a basket of flowers trying to sell them at $2 each. She walked up to their table and asked if any of them wanted to buy a flower, at which point they all declined and she walked away. The pretty girl I had my eyes on began to go on a rant about how stupid the concept of buying flowers is and went on a tangent about how theyve been ripped out of the earth, and that theyre dead and rotting. She exclaimed Why would anyone ever buy flowers for someone else? Its so dumb.

She was obviously a very earthy person, so I came up with an idea. I honestly only did this to entertain myself, and I highly advise that you focus more on entertaining yourself than pleasing others. I had already finished eating and paid my bill, so at that point, I got up, walked back to the bar where the lady selling the flowers was, and bought a rose from her. I took a piece of paper, wrote her a note, and then folded it up. I walked over to the table where the girl was sitting, dropped the flower and the note off in front of her. I then proceeded to walk out the front door without saying a word to her. She opened up the note, and inside it said: Just to piss you off.

As a musician and a poet, it wouldve been just as easy for me to write something sweet, romantic and thoughtful, but the reality is that if I give a complete stranger a poem I wrote about her and a flower, I would look extremely creepy and it would make her even more uncomfortable reading it while surrounded by her friends.

Instead, I was able to make her laugh; she followed me out the door, and then gave me her phone number. The most important part is that it made me laugh. It still does. I was just enjoying myself in the moment and doing something because I thought it was funny, not because I thought it would get me her number. The point is, when youre just being yourself, you dont have to try so hard to be successful. You just are.

The last part of prototypical pick-up artistry that I think is crucial to incorporate is called kino escalation. This is probably the second most important factor in your game next to core confidence.

Kino basically means touch, and youre escalating the pace in which you touch her. This really is not meant to be sexual. When youre meeting someone for the first time, theres something called the touch barrier. Calm down, this is only a proverbial barrier, and will not electrocute you if you breach it. When youre unfamiliar with someone new, theres some slight discrepancy as to whether or not you can, or should touch them. They probably feel the same way in return. Usually its an American custom to keep your hands off people you dont know. In some cultures, people will walk up to, and hug, complete strangers. That doesnt mean that instinctually we dont have the desire to hug each other, it just means that its been deemed socially unconventional.

Breaking the touch barrier prematurely can actually help you out; its a matter of doing it nonchalantly in a manner that isnt awkward. The key is to search for a way to do it without coming off as sleazy and then slowly escalating the ways that you touch her until you reach a point of intimacy.

Banter is the golden ticket. Banter is the key, the answer to life, the universe, and everything. Fuck 42. You want to hold a conversation? Banter. You want entertainment? Banter! You want to escalate kino? BANTER!

One of my favorite places to take a first date is the arcade. Yeah, yeah, you think girls wont enjoy videogames as much as you do; whatever. First of all, girls typically expect you to pick the first date, so you might as well make sure its something that you want to do. If youre not comfortable with the location that you select, youre probably not going to be at your best. So

whatever you enjoy doing, do it. Doesnt matter how geeky or nerdy most people will consider it, your job is to bring this woman into your world and show her what YOU are about.

Secondly, it doesnt matter what you choose to do, if youre a fun person to be around, then she is going to have fun no matter where you are. You could even go to a mall and have swordfights with dildos in the back of a Spencers and Im sure itll still be the best date shes ever had. So the question is why do I choose the arcade?

First of all, the arcade is a competitive environment. I cannot put enough emphasis on how much I recommend using a competitive environment as your first choice for a first date. A competitive environment is anywhere where you and your date are in a competition. That can be an arcade, bowling, putt-putt, pool, etc. The primary reason for this is because its so much easier to keep a conversation going. Lets face it, if youre with someone you barely know, the last thing you want to do is fall into the pit of awkward silence. Being in a competitive environment allows you to talk trash and banter with your date for at least an hour or so; long enough for you to get comfortable with that person. All you have to do is make jokes, insult their skills and maybe even cheat a little if youre losing. No harm done. Once you feel like youre comfortable with them, you can go more in depth and have more meaningful conversations. It will be ten times easier to connect once youre comfortable with them. My motto is Be a sore loser and a douchebag of a winner

Banter also allows you to escalate kino easily. Lets say youre standing at an arcade machine, playing a game like Street Fighter or Tekken. Youre standing right next to your date; its that

much easier for you use your shoulder to push them to side while youre playing the game. To your date, it looks like youre trying to cheat because youre pushing them away from their controller, in actuality, what youre doing is building kino. Youre breaking a touch barrier, which allows you to connect on a level that is much deeper than anything that is emotional or verbal because when done right it provides women with a sense of security, approval, and comfort.

Basically, when youre around girls you want to act like a stereotypical, bratty, older brother. If you dont have any siblings, just picture a Hollywood movie. Hes not an outright asshole who doesnt care about his sister; on the contrary, deep down he cares deeply about her safety and well-being. However, on the surface, he will tease and harass her constantly.

If you happen to be walking with her near a fountain or any body of water, you can always grab your date by the waist and act like youre going to throw them in. Once again, your date is going to think youre just playing around and be more worried about you throwing her in the water than the fact that youre grabbing her from behind by the waist, yet subconsciously shes going to be more comfortable with you grabbing her in an intimate manner since youve already done it incognito.

The key is to start small and move up. Dont just come out of the blue and grab a girl by the waist when you dont even know her. You can start from a hug or even a handshake and a game of thumb war to moving your way up slowly to playfully pushing her, up to grabbing her by the waist. Ive tried the waist grab technique on tons of girls with about a 90% success rate.

Sometimes it is possible to throw her off if you move too quickly. Girls will always wonder Does he do this with all the girls? and if youve been using DHVs effect ively then they will most definitely think that you do. They feel obliged to put up a wall because theyre afraid of being hurt.

Even my current girlfriend shut me down on our first date when I went in for a simple hand on the knee when we were at the movie theatre. The arcade was out of the question for her, so I had to build kino in a mall which is much more difficult (I wasnt joking about Spencers). Yes, she rejected me putting my hand on her knee, but I didnt lose my confidence, I didnt let it bother me or throw me off my game. I reiterate the term current girlfriend.

Even at that moment at the movie theatre she was into me. She wasnt rejecting me. She was simply afraid that I was a player and wanted to throw me off my game. This girl youre trying to seduce doesnt know you, doesnt know what youre capable of, and she will instinctually have her guards up until shes fully comfortable with you. Keep that in mind when youre out on dates yourself.

It is important for you to know that even if you dont always get a positive reaction from the girl, it does NOT mean that she isnt interested in you. It is still possible for you to make it work, so dont revert into depression mode just because you hit a small snag in your plans for the opening line or the first date. Your confidence must be impregnable at worst.

However, if you do use kino strategically enough, she will be more than comfortable enough

to have sex with you within 2-6 hours after meeting you for the first time. It all depends on whether or not you do and say all the right things. Its a matter of building trust and attraction with her. Typically its not a reflection of the girl, but rather a reflection of how the girl perceives you. Does she think youre a player just looking for sex? Or does she think that you have something interesting to offer? From the moment you meet a girl for the first time, you should look for ways to nonchalantly touch her to build her trust with you. You should gauge every situation individually and use your instincts and logic to tell you whether or not shes comfortable with moving to the next level. Some girls dont like being touched at all. I will tell you that at least 70% of the time, kino escalation goes off flawlessly from start to finish. So in other words, about 3 out of every 4 girls Ive dated were willing to take our relationship past making out within the first night.

The most valuable piece of information Ive ever received about women was from a woman. When I was younger, I had this twisted mind frame where, for whatever reason, I believed that most men were just assholes who only wanted sex from women and nothing else. I also believed that most women just wanted a relationship and typically only had sex with men because they thought it was critical for them to maintain their relationship. When I was about 14 years old, I figured that talking to girls about sex would make me seem sleazy and give the wrong impression of me, so Id never ever ever ever bring up the word sex around a woman.

One day I was having a conversation with a female friend of mine who told me the one thing Ill always remember: women think about sex just as much, if not more, than men do. Think about that, and think about what that means. You already know the stereotype that suggests that

men will have sex with just about anything; men are also definitely much much MUCH shallower than women are. So if women are actually hornier than men, what does that tell you?

Sex is not that difficult to get. Sex from beautiful women is not that difficult to get. If you have confidence in yourself and properly use kino escalation while simultaneously showing a girl that you actually give a damn about her personality, you could find yourself in bed with 5 to 7 different women a week. However, finding a successful long term relationship is by far more difficult, more challenging, and more rewarding than just getting laid by a hot girl. You shouldnt view sex as the ultimate goal that sits at the top of the ladder, because in reality sex is only the beginning of the road that leads to a meaningful life partnership (unless youre one of those wait-for-marriage kind of guys at which point sex is about halfway down the road. Come on, its the 21st century.)

Chapter 3.1 When All Else Fails

The preceding 30 pages basically cover all of the key points that you need to know. This chapter is about different methods of attaining said confidence. Its at your discretion if you want to decide to keep reading from this point on, or if you want to put the book down and try your luck. To the skeptics, I advise that you leave now. Im going to tell you about some of the different things that I tried myself, and which I truly believe had some effect on the road to my success in one way or another, and would greatly benefit you if you tried them yourself.

As I stated before, it wasnt an overnight process for me. I didnt just wake up one day and discover that I was extremely successful with females. I tried any and everything until something worked, and after a while everything just started clicking together. The first thing I want to talk to you about is self-hypnosis.

Your brain is more powerful than you ever imagined. Did you know that under certain circumstances if you were to sincerely believe that youre sick, that your brain can actually cause your body to start exhibiting symptoms? It could cause you to get a runny nose, a fever, even rashes. There are even documented cases of people going blind from hysteria, not to mention countless cases of women who undergo false pregnancies, in which their brains are fully capable of causing nausea and prolonging their menstrual cycles.

When you consider the fact that your brain is subconsciously powerful enough to give you physical symptoms, is it REALLY that hard to believe in the effectiveness of hypnosis?

David Elman defines hypnosis as a state where a person's critical faculty is bypassed and selective thinking can occur. If you think of your brain as a night club, your critical faculty is basically the bouncer at the entrance. Hes in charge of whos allowed into the club and who isnt. Your critical faculty basically determines whats real and what isnt, whats possible and whats not. You need to remove that bouncer from the club and start accepting the ideas into your head. Only after you remove doubt in your mind that hypnosis works will you be able to actually execute it effectively.

There are many methods of hypnosis, but this is the one that worked for me. Its very simple, no magic tricks or swirling sticks.

Just Pretend.

Its really that simple. Just pretend, play along with it; let yourself be open to the idea of hypnotism and dont try to fight it. If you do it properly, it will work, and it can change your life extravagantly. Lie down in a quiet, comfortable place (presumably your own bed) and just proceed to hypnotize yourself. Make sure that theres nothing to distract you or take your mind off of focusing while you do this.

You dont need to say it out loud, but in your head you should be counting down from 10..Your eyelids are getting heavier, youre feeling relaxed, calm and comfortable.9..Your weight is being lifted and your body is feeling lighter.8, 7, 6, etc. Just do it slowly and simply. By the time you get to 1, your body should feel like a feather and

your eyelids should be sealed shut. When you reach 1, you will be fully under the state of hypnosis. Try opening your eyelids. If you can open them, youre not fully hypnotized. If you fail the first couple times, dont worry about it or stress over it.just start over, and try again.

The key here is that you pretend. If you think to yourself this isnt real, and any minute now I can open my eyes then yes, youre absolutely rightbut youre not under hypnotized. The bouncer is still standing at the front of your club and he just rejected 10 hot girls from getting inside because they looked too hot and their boobs were too big for them to be real. Hes cock blocking you, man.

Once youre under hypnosis, execute it however you wish. When you wake up, you will feel more confident in yourself, your appearance. You will be less nervous around beautiful women; you will be more focused on schoolwork, more dedicated to getting a job; whatever the case may be. When I count to 10, you will come out of the state of hypnosis and remember everything Ive talked about. You will feel ambitious, undaunted and ready to take on the world. Then slowly count back up to 10 with your body incrementally returning to its normal state and dont fully open your eyes until youre done.

Personally I like to listen to slightly trippy music beforehand just to settle my mind, and when I first started using hypnosis, I was actually recording everything and playing it back to myself through headphones instead of trying to hypnotize myself in my own head. If you can find a method of recording your voice and playing it back, Id advise it.

Its important to know that the effects of hypnosis arent instantaneous, and they dont last forever. You cant just hypnotize yourself once and then come out of a trance to go cold turkey on cigarettes. You have to consistently practice, and after a while youll begin to notice the results becoming more and more effective every time you try it.

Chapter 3.2 Some People Just Dont Really Give A.

The coolest thing about being a male in the 21st century is that there arent a lot of expectations of you. You dont have to shave every day. Hell, theres nothing more rugged than a man with a 5 oclock shadow. You dont have to brush your hair before you walk out of the house, just wake up out of bed and walk to the grocery store. These days, being sloppy is actually kind of sexy. Dont take my word for it; just ask all the teen girlies who are obsessed with how sexy Robert Pattinson is. This is a guy who admitted that he only washes his hair or takes showers once or twice a week. He was also listed many times as one of GQs most stylish men, yet he often walks around with nothing more than jeans and a t-shirt.

Fashion isnt the most important thing in the world, but I do take some pride in being a fashionable guy. You should as well. Ive sifted through a plethora of Esquire and GQ magazines trying to figure out what looks good and what doesnt. To sum it all up: Fit. You need clothes that fit perfectly. It doesnt matter if its a $50 shirt from guess or a $10 shirt from walmart, all that matters is that the fit compliments your body type. When you find a shirt that fits you perfectly, youll know it.

A great piece of fashion advice I once read was Dont buy anything if it isnt as good as, or better than the best piece of clothing in your wardrobe.

I wont get too caught up in fashion advice; if youre interested being more fashionable, I advise you to go check out style magazines and internet articles for men. Theres plenty of

information and pictures to go along with them; heres just a few of my own personal opinions:

- Most shirts with open collars look better than their closed-collared counterparts (for example, V-Neck shirts look better than crew necks)

- Just about everything will look better if you add a hood to it. Try wearing lightweight jackets with hoods underneath your V-necks, your polo shirts, your blazers, anything. It usually always looks great. Keep in mind though; its a much more casual look.

- Accessories are a must. Check out pictures of Johnny Depp or even Russell Brand for some great examples of this. Not only do you look extremely fashionable for having tons of accessories, but these are also conversation pieces. I cant tell you how many girls have talked to me about the silly bands I was wearing, or the I love boobies band, or the home-made bracelet I made out of soda tabs. Anything thats more interesting than a watch or a leather bracelet is great to have. (Dont get me wrong, watches and leather bracelets are great, too! Theyre just not really conversation starters).

- Theres a difference between standing out and peacocking. Mystery looks ridiculous, dont walk around with a big ass hat all the time. Its possible to dress well and still stand out, but ultimately its your personality that you want people to see, not your clothes.

- In nearly all cases, tighter is better. If youre a heavyset guy, you can still find form-fitting clothes that will look good on you. Layering can help a lot if youre overweight.

Heres where Im going to contradict myself; kind of. I dont advise peacocking for trying to meet women, but I do advise it. Makes no sense, right? Well to be frank, it doesnt matter what you wear. You could be wearing ridiculous looking bright pink womens glasses and still pick up a girl. I know, because Ive done it.

Its pointless though. Theres no need to make a spectacle of yourself for no reason. However, it takes an incredible amount of confidence just to walk around in a public place with hundreds of people looking at you while wearing bright pink glasses, a hello kitty hat, or a t-shirt that says I eat pussy like a fat kid eats cake, and it takes even more confidence to approach a girl while wearing them. I consider it to be exercise that helps you build assurance.

Let me put it this way, I am more than comfortable walking around a public mall wearing a bright pink Hello Kitty pajama top (yes, a womens pajama top) and even at that point, Im so bloated in the head, that Im doing it under the assumption that every girl at the mall is currently talking about how cute I am.

Basically the idea is to stop worrying about other people perceiving you in a negative way, and start building your confidence to a level where you feel comfortable wearing anything. That way, if you ever get caught off guard and start talking to a pretty girl on a day where your hair doesnt look as great, or your clothes are worn and torn or if youve got a big ass pimple on your face, you wont give a shit. Youll be just as confident as you are on your best day; and that, my friends, is core confidence.

Chapter 4 The Art of Language; revisited.

Earlier I talked about the impact of language and just how impactful it can be. Im going to take this time to go a little more in depth and hopefully give you all a better understanding of how to effectively construct jokes. After all, if you can make her laugh, you can make her do anything.

My first piece of advice is really simple, watch stand-up comedy. Watch a lot of it. If youre going to use any kind of canned material, the best plan is to use canned material from stand-up specials. At least that way, if she calls you out for having heard it before, you can make small talk about the comedian who said it and ask her about her favorite comedian. Thats an escape route youre not going to be able to use if you get caught using a canned pick-up line from The Game. No; once you get busted for using lines from a book about picking up women, youre pretty much out of the game. Sure it may still be possible; never say never, but shes going to be consumed with the idea that youre after a hook-up.

Some great Comedians that Id recommend for you: Daniel Tosh, Jimmy Carr, Steven Wright, Demetri Martin, Russell Brand, Mitch Hedberg, Louis C.K., Jim Gaffigan. Any comedians who use a solid amount of oneliners would be ideal. Ive personally seen so many stand-up specials that I recall jokes at all times of the day. Every time I use an escalator I remember Mitch Hedbergs An Escalator can never break; it can only become stairs line. Youll never see an escalator temporarily out of order sign. Only a sign that says escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience. I use it whenever possible, and it always gets a

good laugh.

Its important to make a note that your goal is to make a woman laugh with you, not to make her laugh AT you. Rodney Dangerfield is a fantastic comedian and an absolute legend; however, he uses an abundance of self-deprecating humor.

I spoke to my psychologist who said Im crazy. I said I want a second opinion, he said Okay; youre ugly, too.

Thats not the kind of humor you need to go for. Remember that youre trying to sell yourself as a confident, ladies man. Every once in a while there are times where its okay to laugh at yourself, but never do it so seriously, and never present yourself as someone who doesnt respect themselves. Dont ever lower your own value.

You dont need to be afraid to use sexual puns. This is in reference to my previous girls think about sex as much as men do idea, so you dont need to be afraid of talking to her openly about it. Once again, its all about moderation and having some form of self-control; knowing when youre going too far or when what youre saying is acceptable. You also need to be a judge of how well the date is going and whether or not theyre the kind of person to take offense. Just remember that breaking barriers is what makes her feel like shes known you forever when in reality youve just met.

One of my personal favorite sources of canned material is actually from a Jimmy Carr stand-

up, and the bit is about moral dilemmas. Something along the lines of this:

- Alright, Ive got a couple moral dilemmas for you to help me judge your personality and see what kind of person you are. Dont think about it too much, just give me your answer, yes or no.

- Okay?

- Is it socially acceptable to kill a whale in order to save 2 pandas?

- (Typically shell delay her response to give it thought)

- Come on, 1 whale or 2 pandas. Pandas are cute and cuddly but whales are more endangered. (If she asks what kind of whale, just say gnarwhal. Fun fact: they are indeed, the most endangered species of whales. Make a joke, its a frickin swimming unicorn!)

- (Shell give her answer, but it doesnt matter what she picks.)

- Yeah, see, I wouldve just let them fight it out between themselves.

- Okay, okay. Ive got another moral dilemma for you. First, I want to make sure I wont offend you or anything, so how is your relationship with your parents? (If you dont already know this information; otherwise, its a good chance to learn about her home life).

- (She answers. Ive met girls who had parents who passed away, or who lived with their grandparents; so I just changed the joke to grandpa and grandma instead of Mom and Dad.) - Would you have sex with your Dad in order to save your Moms life?

- (She spends a minute shocked and disgusted and probably a lot of other feelings)

- Okay, okayhypothetically, lets say Ive got snipers all around this area, and theyre all aiming guns at your mom. They would like for you to bum your dad. Do you do it?

- (Shell eventually answer yes or no. If she says yes you can give her the Eww, youre disgusting reaction, or if she says no, you can give her the So youre just gonna let your mom die? Youre heartless! response. (Dont forget that its crucial that she knows youre joking.)

- Shell probably ask you the same question in return, at which point you can say Nah, I wouldve had sex with my Dad a few years ago, but hes really let himself go or you can use that line back on her if she makes any reference to her dads appearance.

Of course anytime you bring up a profound subject of any kind, its easy to make jokes. The things that we find most repugnant and wrong in society are usually the funniest things to talk about. So dont be afraid to push a few buttons, just do it in moderation. Ive used the above lines on a countless number of girls, and I cant actually recall a single time where it went wrong. I also encourage you to take advantage of all the stupid puns and thats what she said jokes you can muster up. Youre bringing sexual conversation and the idea of her having a sexual

relationship with you to the forefront of her consciousness without actually implying that you want it.

Personally, Ive been a rapper for about 9 years, so throughout a lot of experience with writing punch lines, Ive learned to efficiently incorporate play on words into my everyday life. I find double-meanings in casual conversations the time without actually thinking about them.

Unfortunately, most people arent rappers and wont dedicate their time to learning how to efficiently analyze and execute play on words. You just need to make a conscious effort to listen to what shes saying and try to figure out if it would be possible to misinterpret it. Being witty on your feet is a huge help. Heres an example of this concept from Jimmy Carr who was talking to one of his female audience members:

Jimmy: You look like youre pissed off *Girl points to her boyfriend in the chair next to her*: I get it from him all the time Jimmy: You get it from him all the time? You lucky girl.

Its about finding and exploiting ambiguity within a sentence. Basically, look for different ways to interpret the same phrase and it will usually be funny. Girl sends a text message: Im sorry I fell asleep on you last night. Guy responds: Well technically you didnt fall asleep ON me. If you did, I think you wouldve been a lot noisier and Id have noticed.

Unfortunately, theres no simply way to teach you how to use wordplay in the context of a casual conversation. Its simply a matter of you practicing your ability to recognize it throughout conscious listening. You can only look for it when you watch stand-up comedy, when youre reading puns and one-liners, or even if youre listening to certain battle-style hip hop rappers who sometimes use them in their lines. The song wordsmith by Chino XL doesnt contain any jokes, but it does have many examples of wordplay. Once youre consciously aware of how punchlines are constructed and frequently recognizing them, it becomes much easier to be naturally funny.

There are dirty jokes, the repugnant topics I mentioned earlier in which you can say almost anything on the topic of and youll have to try your best to walk the thin line between offensive and downright hilarious. Remember that these wont appeal to everyone though, and could go very badly if executed wrong.

Theres relatable humor, in which all you have to do is acknowledge a social habit that isnt always talked about. Twilight made a reference to google which was funny just because of the fact that movies have never really referenced it, but it is a relatable and familiar concept because weve all used google and know what it is.

My mom called me a liar, so I looked her dead in the eye and said Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause then walked away like a boss.

Its a joke thats funny simply because we have a familiarity with it. It also provides a visual

of a kid telling off his parents in a self righteous manner, which is a relatable feeling that we have an attached empathy for since we were all little kids at one point who wished we could outwit our parents.

There are other kinds of jokes, but the primary kind of joke that I want to expound on is the one-liner. A one-liner joke typically consists of both a feed line, and a punch line. Theres a concept called Occams razor whereby the most plausible explanation for something happening is considered to be the right explanation.

For example: if you hear hoof beats in the distance, there is a very slight possibility that it could be a Zebra; Occams razor, however, would suggest that since zebras are relatively rare, that its a horse.

A good majority of one-liner jokes on the other hand, are constructed in the exact opposite fashion. The set up or feed line would introduce the concept of hoof beats and make the listener believe that horses are coming, only to find out that the entire time it was really a unicorn.

One night my girlfriend was feeling more kinky than usual, and said "Put it wherever you want to"....so I fucked her sister

Basically the set-up line of the joke offers up an ambiguous meaning within the phrase put it anywhere you want to, in which case most people will assume the common and logical meaning behind the sentence upon first hearing it. At that point, I deliver the punchline which is typically

just an interpretation of the feed line that the listener wouldnt expect.

Granted, when I write jokes and punchlines I dont sit down with a pad and pen and wonder to myself well gee, what are some ambiguous terms that I can use as set-ups for jokes? its just a matter of developing an awareness of language functionality so that when you think of or hear ambiguous terms, you can play off of them instantly.

Chapter 5 The Donts

I wish this was common enough knowledge that I didnt have to say it, but unfortunately it isnt: Dont come on too strong. This is a common trap that even after having it all figured it out, many guys, including myself, fall victim to; especially when you find a girl that seems to fit the exact criteria of what youve been looking for and want to pursue something more.

Its important to understand that girls meet a lot of different guys throughout their lives, some of which are extremely creepy. Im talking stalker, stage-5-clinger creepy. As a woman, you have to be extremely cautious when youre meeting people for the first time, because you cant possibly know what kind of potential nutcase that person can be.

So its very important that you can show her that youre not overly anxious, especially when youre first getting to know each other. Remember that you dont have to text her back immediately every time she texts you, you dont even need to answer every text. You dont want to convey interest in a relationship with a girl you just met, even if she seems absolutely perfect for you. As Ryan Reynolds said in Just Friends, play the whole thing aloof. To put it simply, be normal, dont be too interested, and dont be weird.

Dont tell her how much you miss her, or how much you think about her. Dont ask her if she enjoyed her first date with you or if she likes you. If she says it first, its okay to reciprocate. Otherwise, just be cool and let the chips fall as they may. If you do everything right, shell have her head wrapped around you all day long. Its simply crucial that she does not perceive you as

someone who is needy or clingy. Give it some time before you move into that territory. Were not in middle school anymore where you can sit next to a girl you dont even know and ask her to be your girlfriend.

It is inevitable that if you hang out or go out with a lot of girls, youre likely to meet their friends in the process. Its also inevitable that some of those friends are going to be guys. Dont be daunted. It is paramount that you do not let it bother you and you do not let it fuck up your game. Be calm, cool, and collective. In certain situations, I understand why guys might be intimidated by the presence of another male, especially if you dont know the nature of her relationship with him. It is very much possible that they may have been intimate at one point or another, and unless thats a complete deal breaker for you, it doesnt matter. You cant hold her responsible for her past intimacies before she even met you, she didnt even know you existed. You also need to understand that theres a reason shes single and theres a reason shes with you at that moment, and quite simply if she wanted to be with him, she would be.

Be mentally prepared for the possibility of it happening, and if it does, your job is simply to be yourself. Be your BEST self. Nothing has changed, and everything you know is still relevant. You are going to be the funny, smart and interesting person that you are, and at the end of the night, you will be the only thought on her mind, and thats what matters.

Remember that if youre not in a relationship, theres no commitment. Dont expect commitment from her, and unless youre absolutely certain that shes head over heels crazy about you, dont give her your commitment. Relationships are about trial and error, and you

dont want to rush into one with someone that you dont fully know. We are all emotionally scarred beings, afraid of being damaged even further than we already have been. You do not want to spend 1 or 2 years with the wrong person only to walk out of the relationship heartbroken and knowing that the last 2 years of your life were a waste, so dont be in such a hurry to rush into something serious with any girl unless you really know her. Its fair game for both of you to continue playing the field until you truly know how you feel about each other. Im not saying that you have to be a player, if you want to make the conscientious decision to be monogamous then do so, but dont be impatient when it comes to finding the one, because hell, theres billions of women in the world and at the end of the day there can only be one.