R I D D L E S

1. A man was driving a black truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. A lady was crossing the street. How did the man see her? It was a bright, sunny day. 2. Do you say, "Nine and five is thirteen," or "Nine and five are thirteen" ? Neither. Nine and five are fourteen. 3. How can you tell the difference between a can of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup? Read the label. 4. Why did the kid put his clock in the oven. He wanted to have a hot time. 5. Why did the nutty kid throw a bucket of water out of the window? He wanted to make a big splash. 6. Why did the nutty kid throw a glass of water out of the window? He wanted to see a waterfall. 7. Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of the window? He wanted to see a butterfly. 8. Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up. 9. Why do postmen carry letters? Because the letters can't go anywhere by themselves. 10. Why do we buy clothes? Because we can't get them free. 11. Why does a mother carry her baby? The baby can't carry the mother. 12. What asks no question but demands an answer? A doorbell or a ringing telephone. 13. What belongs to you, but is used more by others? Your name. 14. What can run but can't walk? Water. 15. What can you break without touching it? Your promise. 16. What color was Napoleon's white horse? White. 17. What did one wall say to the other? "I'll meet you at the corner." 18. What did the bee say to the flower? "Hello, honey!" 19. What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You are too young to smoke."

20. What did the big watch hand say to the little watch hand? "Don't go away, I'll be back in an hour." 21. What does an envelope say when you lick it? Nothing. It just shuts up. 22. What does Brazil produce that no other country produces? Brazilians. 23. What goes around a garden but doesn't move? A fence. 24. What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? It gets wet. 25. What has four legs and a back but no body? A chair. 26. What has teeth but no mouth? A comb or a saw. 27. What has two hands but no arms? A clock. 28. What is the difference between here and there? The letter T. 29. What is the first thing you do in the morning? You wake up. 30. What is the first thing you put into a room? Your feet. 31. What kind of bath can you take without water? A sun bath. 32. What kind of star wears sunglasses? A movie star. 33. What kind of table has no legs ? A multiplication table. 34. What people are like the end of a book? The Finnish. 35. What two things can't you have for breakfast? Lunch and dinner. 36. Where can you always find money? In the dictionary. 37. Where did the knights study? In knight (night) school. 38. Who always goes to bed with shoes on? A horse. 39. Who never gets his hair wet in the shower? A bald man.

40. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name? Johnny 41. If a plane crashed on the border of the USA and Canada, where should the survivors be buried? You don't bury survivors. 42. A camper leaves her camp, hikes 1 mile south, then 1 mile east where she sees a bear. Then she hikes 1 mile north to arrive at her camp. What color is the bear? The camp must be at the north pole, therefore the bear is white. If a rooster lays an egg on the peak of a roof , will the egg roll to the left side or to the right side? Roosters don't lay eggs, chickens do. 43. If a south bound electric train is traveling at a rate of 66 miles per hour and the wind is blowing to the north at 35 miles per hour, which way will the smoke blow? Electric trains don't blow smoke. 44. On which side of a chicken are the most feathers? The outside. 45. A man had to go to an important meeting and he had to ride his horse to get there. He left on Friday afternoon and came back three days later on Friday. How is that possible? His horse's name is Friday 46. What walks on four legs at the beginning then walks on two legs in the middle then walks on three legs in the end? man: 4 legs-baby crawling, 2 legs-standing up, 3 legsold man with walking stick 47. As I was going to Paris I met a man with seven wives, each wife had seven sacks, each sack had seven cats, each cat had seven kittens. How many things were going to Paris? one ('As I was going to Paris') 48. The man who invented it doesn't want it, The man who bought it doesn't need it, The man who needs it doesn't know it. What is it? a coffin 49. A father and son were in a car accident. An ambulance took the father to a hospital 4 miles away and the son was taken to a different hospital which was fifty miles from the accident. When the son was taken into surgery the surgeon said "I can't operate on this patient because he is my son" How can this be? It is his mother 50. Take off my skin - I won't cry, but you will! What am I? Onion. 51. Where does Friday come before Thursday? In the dictionary. 52. Q. What kind of house weighs the least? A lighthouse.

53. Q. Which travels faster - heat or cold? Heat, because you can catch a cold. 54. Q. If two's company and there's a crowd, what are four and five? Nine! 55. Q. I was carried into a dark room, and set on fire. I wept. What am I? A candle. 56. Q. What is it that leaps and runs and has no feet? A ball. 57. Q. Where can you find roads without cars, forests without trees and cities without houses? On a Map. 58. Q. There is an ancient invention still used in some parts of the world today that allows people to see through walls. What is it? A window. 59. Q. What can bring back the dead; make us cry, make us laugh, make us young; born in an instant yet lasts a life time. What is it? A memory. 60. Q. You use it between your head and your toes, the more it works the thinner it grows. What is it? A bar of soap. 61. Q. You can hear me. You can see what I do. Me, you cannot see. What am I? The wind. 62. Q. What is always coming, but never arrives? Tomorrow. 63. Q. At night I come without being fetched. By day I am lost without being stolen. What am I? A star. 64. Q. What gets bigger the more you take away from it? A hole. 65. Q. What is pronounced like one letter, written with three letters, and belongs to all animals? Eye. 66. Q. If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don't have it. What is it? A secret. 67. Q. I am not alive, but I grow; I don't have lungs, but I need air; I don't have a mouth, but water kills me. What am I? A fire. 68. Q. By Moon or by Sun, I shall be found. Yet I am undone, if there's no light around. What am I? A shadow.

69. Q. The more you have of it, the less you see. What am I? Darkness. 70. Q. I sleep by day, I fly by night. I have no feathers to aid my flight. What am I? A bat. 71. Q. What always goes to bed with his shoes on? A horse. 72. What has feet but can't walk? a yard stick 73. What has eyes but can't see? a potato or a needle 74. What has hands but can't feel? a clock 75. What has ears but can't hear? corn 76. What has teeth but can't chew? a comb 77. Spell mousetrap in three letters. C-A-T 78. . What must you keep after giving it to someone else? a promise 79. What do we have in December that we don't have in any other month? (No it's not Christmas) the letter D 80. What is easy to get into but hard to get out of? trouble or a maze 81. What question can never truly be answered yes? Are you asleep? 82. What question must you positively answer yes? What does Y-E-S spell? 83. Think fast: There's an electric train traveling south. The wind is from the north-west. In which direction would the smoke from the train be blowing? An electric train would not have smoke 84. What is the second most used letter in the English language? Hint: it is also the first letter of the most used word in the English language. . The letter T 85. In an unabridged dictionary, what 3 letter word has the most definitions? RUN 86. How can you avoid hitting your fingers when driving in a nail with a hammer? Hold the hammer with both hands. 87. Why did the bubble gum cross the road? It was stuck on the bottom of the chicken's foot.

88. If you see a bird sitting on a twig, how could you get the twig without disturbing the bird? .Wait until the bird flies away 89. When is a yellow dog most likely to enter a house? When the door is opened 90. .What has a head like a cat, feet like a cat, a tail like a cat, but isn't a cat? A kitten 91. Some months have thirty days and some months have thirty-one days. How many months have twentyeight days? All twelve months have 28 days. Some have more as well. 92. What odd number becomes even when beheaded? the number seven('behead' the s and you have 'even') 93. What five letter word has six left after you take two letters away? sixty (take away 'ty' and six is left) 94. What is it that someone else has to take before you can get it? your photograph 95. How can you make a pearl out of a pear? take off the letter 'l' in pearl 96. What is it that everyone requires, everyone gives, everyone asks and that very few take? advice 97. What goes from New York to California without moving? a highway 98. Can you explain how long cows should be milked? The same way you milk short cows 99. What kind of umbrella do most people carry on a rainy day? A wet one 100. When a child stomps through a mud puddle, what is the first thing he does? He (or she) gets wet 101. Why was Washington buried at Mt. Vernon? Because he was dead 102. When do 2 and 2 make more than 4? when they make 22 103. How many times may 20 be subtracted from 100? only once; any further subtraction would be from a smaller number each time. 104. What is the difference between 100 and 1000? zero (100 has 2 zero's, 1000 has 3 zero's, a difference of 1 zero or 'zero') 105. What letter is never found in the alphabet?

the one you mail 106. Why is the letter E like London? because it is the capital of England 107. What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T? teapot 108. What is it that everyone always overlooks? one's nose 109. What is always before you, yet you can never see it? your future 110. What can be right but never wrong? a right angle 111. Why did the chicken cross the playground? to get to the other slide 112. John is standing behind Mary, and Mary is standing behind John. How is this possible ? They are standing back to back 113. Why did the chewing gum cross the road? It was stuck to the leg of a chicken !!! 114. Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He thought it was a high school! 115. What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!" 116. Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything 117. What is at the end of everything? The letter G 118. What do giraffes have that no other animal has? Baby giraffes 119. What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? Lost. 120. What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean? A blackboard. 121. What travels around the world and stays in a corner? A stamp. 122. Who earns a living by driving his customers away? A taxi-driver. 123. If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become? Wet. 124. What starts with E, ends with E but usually has one letter? An envelope.

125. What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Time to get a new fence! 126. What did one wall say to the other? I will meet you at the corner. 127. What runs around a farm but doesn't move? A fence. 128. Why did the farmer give his cow chocolate? Because he wanted chocolate milk. 129. Why did the monkey cross the road? Because there was a banana on the other side. 130. What's brown, has a hump, and lives at the North Pole? A lost camel. 131. What did one volcano say to the other volcano? I lava you. 132. What is better than a dog that can count? A spelling bee. 133. What did the tree say to the woodcutters? "Leaf me alone!" 134. Did you hear the joke about the playing cards? It's no big deal. 135. What would you get if you crossed a giraffe with a rooster? An animal who wakes up people who live on the top floor. 136. Why couldn't Noah play cards on the ark? The elephant was standing on the deck. 137. What makes a chess player happy? Taking a knight off. 138. Why does a ballerina wear a tutu? Because one-one's too small and three-three's too big. 139. If two shirt collars had a race, which one would win? Neither one. It would end in a tie. 140. What do you get if you cross a sheep and a porcupine? An animal that knits its own sweaters. 141. Do you think it's hard to spot a leopard? No they come that way. 142. What does an aardvark like on its pizza? Ant-chovies. 143. What kind of shot do you give a sick car? A fuel injection. 144. Why are fish never good tennis players? They don't like getting close to the net. 145. What do you get if you cross a parrot and a shark? A bird that talks your ear off.

146. Where is the best place to have a bubble gum contest? On a choo-choo train. 147. Why did the umpire throw the chicken out of the baseball game? He suspected fowl play. 148. What do rabbits use to keep their fur in place? Hare-spray. 149. What did one octopus say to the other octopus? I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand. 150. What did the judge say when the skunk went into the court room? Odor in the court. 151. What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede? Bacon and legs. 152. What has four legs and goes "oom-oom" A cow walking backwards. 153. What does a police officer use when he arrests a pig? Ham cuffs. 154. Where does a hog look when he can't spell very well? The pigtionary. 155. What's green, has 6 legs, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, it could hurt? A pool table. 156. What did one rose say to the other? "Hi Bud". 157. Why did the baby cookie cry? Because its mother was a wafer so long. 158. Who can write nursery rhymes and squeeze oranges at the same time? Mother Juice. 159. What does a 300 pound budgie say? "Polly want a cracker, NOW!" 160. What two things aren't eaten for breakfast? Lunch and dinner. 161. What do you call 20 rabbits moving backwards? A receding hare line. 162. Did you hear about the two kids that walked into a church? It was kind of silly, the second one should have seen it coming. 163. What kind of beans can't grow in a garden? Jelly Beans.

164. What's gray, has big ears and a trunk? A mouse on vacation. 165. How does the ocean say hello to the sand? It waves. 166. Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snow bank. 167. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut. 168. Why did the spider cross the road? To get to another web site. 169. What did the postcard say to the stamp? Stick with me kid, and we'll go places. 170. What does a train do with food? Chew, chew. 171. What flower grows between your nose and your mouth? Tulips. 172. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide. 173. Where can you find an ocean without water? On a map. 174. Why didn't the clock work? Because it needed a hand. 175. Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the barking lot. 176. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze. 177. What question can't be answered with a yes? Are you asleep? 178. What's full of holes but still holds water? A sponge. 179. Why did the chicken cross the road and roll in the dirt, then cross the road again? Because he was a dirty double crosser. 180. How do you hide an elephant in a cherry tree? Paint his toenails red. 181. Some of the Reasons Why People Don't Exercise .....but we think you should exercise anyway! 182. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we don't know where she is! 183. I joined a health club last year, spent about $400. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up. 184. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

185. I don't exercise at all. If we were meant to touch our toes, they would have grown in further up our body. 186. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. 187. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. 188. Is the advantage of exercising every day that you die healthier? 189. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a very small country. 190. I don't jog because it makes the ice jump right out of my soda. But seriously, exercise is really good for you.....learn more about it at: 191. Smoke-Free Kids and Soccer! Amateur Sports 192. Why didn't the lobster share his toys? He was too shellfish. 193. Why wouldn't the dog talk to it's foot? It's not polite to talk back to your paw. 194. What kind of wood gets scared? Petrified wood. 195. What do you call someone that keeps talking when no one is listening? A teacher. 196. Why didn't they play cards on Noah's ark? Noah kept sitting on the deck. 197. What's in an astronaut's favorite sandwich? Launch meat. 198. What do you call two banana peels? A pair of slippers. 199. Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow? So he wouldn't fall into the hot chocolate! 200. What does Frosty the Snowman eat for breakfast? Snowflakes!