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Responding to Non-verbal Communication

A tool for meeting facilitators

Purpose
Some experts say that non-verbal communication accounts for about 80 percent of all face-toface communication. And, more importantly, since most non-verbal behaviors are involuntary, they often express the persons real feelings. Yet, we concentrate so much on the spoken word that we miss most of the non-verbal messages sent our way. Perhaps even more significant is the fact that we often misread the intent of the few non-verbal messages that do come to our attention. So, as a meeting facilitator, what can you do? This tool will help.

Responding to Non Verbal Communication

Non-verbal messages are typically sent via: Facial Expressions. Eye contact, a raised eyebrow, a smile, a frown, squinting eyes, looking up, looking down, and other expressions may be cues to what a team member is thinking and, in fact, wants to communicate to you.

Body Positions and Movements. Leaning forward, leaning back, pushing back from the table, arms folded, arms open wide, turning away or to one side, hands on head, nodding head, and other movements may signal the persons real intentions.

Consider these team meeting scenarios.

Maria is sitting in a meeting that you are leading. At the conclusion of a presentation, she folds her arms across her chest. What is she communicating with this action? As another member is making a point about the current agenda item, Rolf is looking upward, not making eye contact with the speaker. What is he communicating with this action? At the end of the meeting you review the decisions made by the team during the meeting. As you are going through the list, you notice Anna nodding her head up and down. What does this mean?

At the end of this tool, you will find possible answers to these questions about the meaning of non-verbal cues. In the meantime, think about how you would interpret the actions if you were facilitating the meeting.

Responding to Non-verbal Communication

Be aware. As you approach your next meeting, keep in mind that non-verbal communication is taking place. Notice, but dont respond to, various cues that are expressed by meeting participants. It is helpful to develop a sensitivity to these behaviors before you begin responding. Dont assume. Approach the person with caution since you can never be sure you fully understand the meaning of their non-verbal actions. Acting as if you know what the person is thinking from his or her non-verbal cues may be seen as arrogant. And if you are wrong, it can be a major setback to your relationship with this person as well as with other team members. Look for consistent responses. It is usually not necessary to respond the first time you notice a specific non-verbal cue. However, if you become aware that the person consistently responds in a particular way in similar situations, you may consider responding in some way (Marco, if I am reading you correctly, it seems as if you are not comfortable with the way we are moving on this issue. Is that true?). Look for patterns. If you see several members responding non-verbally to, for example, a presentation, there may be something significant there. If you observe negative reactions such as heads moving side to side, pushing back from the table or rolling of eyes, you may assume that there are some significant disagreements with or questions about this presentation. Your response might be to intervene by saying, Gina, let me stop you here because I sense there are some questions about what you have said so far. You can then ask the whole group, What questions or comments do you have for Gina? or use a direct question to one of the non-verbal responders Roberto, do I sense that you have some questions about what has been said thus far?

Ask a question. Since you can never be sure your interpretation of the non-verbal behavior is accurate, it is always best to approach the person with a question. A question gives the person an opportunity to disagree: No, I have no problems with what has been said, or to join the discussion: Yes, as a matter of fact, I think we are moving in the wrong direction on this issue.

Interpreting the Team Meeting Scenarios

Here are possible interpretations of the scenarios at the beginning of this tool:

Maria is sitting in a meeting that you are leading. At the conclusion of a presentation, she folds her arms across her chest. What is she communicating by this action?

 Maria

may have closed her mind and is not open to any new ideas on this subject. Maria may be saying, Its cold in this room. Why dont they turn down the air-conditioning?

As another member is making a point about the current agenda item, Rolf is looking upward, not making eye contact with the speaker. What is he communicating by this action?
Rolf Rolf

may not be interested in what is being said. may be giving serious thought to what is being said.

At the end of the meeting you review the decisions made by the team during the meeting. As you are going through the list, you notice Anna is nodding. What does this mean?
Anna Anna

may agree with what you are saying. may simply be listening to what you are saying.

Since each of these interpretations is possiblenot definitethis exercise is a reminder of the difficulty of correctly understanding non-verbal behaviors. It also reinforces the importance of looking for patterns, consistency and, most importantly, responding with a question.