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The Jersey Self Help Guide
For Survivors & Non-Survivors dealing with historical abuse
hope & recovery
By Peter Saunders
I grew up believing Jersey to be a beautiful little island and undoubtedly
it is. But it has taken many years of working with survivors and hearing
their experiences to realise that the abuse of children is a social evil
that knows no boundaries, sociological or geographical.
So, at NAPAC we were not surprised when we learnt of the
horric things that have gone on in Jersey. Our hearts go out
to those who have suffered and their loved ones.
Our condemnation goes out to the perpetrators and those
who would seek to cover up these hideous crimes. Dont
stand for it Jersey. Not only root out all abusers and put them
where they belong. Remember to build the specialist services
to make sure their victims get all the help they need.
NAPAC stands with the JCLA in hoping their vision for
supporting people, is increasingly supported by their
own community.
We hope the following self help reading guide for victims/
survivors of abuse will be of use to many on Jersey.
Best wishes,
Peter Saunders FRSA
Chief Executive
National Association for People Abused in Childhood
Tel: 0207 367 4122
peter@napac.org.uk
Support Line: 0800 085 3330
www.napac.org.uk
Reg. Charity 1069802
We are now on Twitter check out http://twitter.com/NAPAC
Project managed by Survivors West Yorkshire & all original
copywriting by Proof Improved www.proof-improved.co.uk
design by uidcm.co.uk
Jersey Care Leavers Self Help Guide
I want to remind you
Of what you forgot to see
On the way here
To listen to what
You were too busy to hear
To ask you to believe
What you were too ashamed to admit
Edward Bond
The world became aware of the circumstances surrounding
the ofcial care of vulnerable children on the island of Jersey
around November of 2007. The name Haut de la Garenne
(the main state centre for looked after vulnerable children,
from birth to early adulthood, for over forty years) was
ashed across the news networks of the Western world. As
the allegations of horric institutionalised abuse increased
in intensity, one of the saddest histories of a European
states neglect of its vulnerable children become very public
property. The distress of the victims was further intensied by
some very public rows between Jersey politicians.
The scope of the emerging abuse scandal covered all forms
of abuse: emotional, physical and sexual. The investigation
quickly expanded beyond Haut de la Garenne. Many care
units and fostering situations, it soon become apparent, also
had abuse allegations to investigate.
This led the world to look on with increasing horror - and
frankly, at times, amazement - as, Jerseys leaders and
ofcials seemed sometimes to be more interested in either
protecting the reputation of Jersey or bringing their personal
and political feuds to full-blown life. This, of course, was to
the delight of TV news companies across the world.
The police stepped forward as the champions of Haut de
la Garenne victims, promising full and transparent justice
for all. It would seem a blank cheque was then written to
discover the truth of what happened. This grew into a wider
investigation, looking at the whole of Jersey in relation to
sexual violence cases. It was noted that most of the adults
reporting abuse had originally been placed into state care to
protect them against abuse - from within their own family
or community.
This guides objective is not to make a judgment about any
investigations or the behaviour of community leaders or
ofcials. If normal operating procedure is followed, once the
investigation has formally closed, it will be the polices own
peers who will sit in judgment on the professional conduct
of all the ofcers involved. And the Jersey public can make
up its own mind regarding the conduct of its leaders at any
forthcoming elections.
However, major related areas of concern for us could
include the following: whether victims were told they could
not have therapy whilst the police investigation was ongoing;
what impact that advice had on their health; and how much
psychological distress was caused by public statements
made by politicians, their ofcials and senior police ofcers
with little regard to the psychological effect on the victims -
victims they had a duty to protect from further harm, including
further mental distress.
This guides focus is on supporting the needs of victims via
messages of hope and links to information; its not intended
to heal people. The distress they feel, from their own unique
experiences of abuse on Jersey, is very individual. To support
them positively requires some of the latest thinking on the
psychology of abuse recovery, whether the abuse was
perpetrated in state care, or within their own family, by
abusers male or female.
Haut de la Garenne opened up the memories of every child
abuse survivor on Jersey, we suspect. Its a small community
and turning off the TV doesnt allow much avoidance of the
issues for survivor or non-survivor alike. Nearly everyone on
the island will either be a victim, or will know a victim or
someone who does.
Jerseys victims/survivors experiences
have opened up a hidden and too-long-
avoided history.
We lay no claim to the exclusive right to emotional and
physical pain that is the result of childhood abuse on
Jersey. Rather we hope that by highlighting these issues
from our own unique experience we can help empower
the specialist support services needed to help all victims -
child or adult. Such services have been promised for some
time. We have yet to see the formal agreement to proceed
to the consultation stages needed to engage the diverse
stakeholders of Jersey. Such a diverse consultation
is needed to make possible the best options for delivery
of a progressive specialist service for all victims of abuse
on Jersey.
We also have a real passion for being involved in enabling
innovative improvement in services to children on the
island, abused and non-abused alike. In the end they are
Jerseys most valuable resource. We need to look after their
needs far more imaginatively and understand the whys
of their behaviours, especially when they seem negative
and disruptive - moving on from focusing on the negative
outcomes they create and just demonising them as bad
children, and instead taking the time to understand the
reasons behind their behaviour and acting to support them to
manage themselves more positively.
Wise communities take the time to gain insight into the whys
of things. The care leavers and other survivors of abuse on
Jersey have insights that will enable a kinder and more stable
society for all on Jersey, if we listen to them. We need to be
allowed to share in such insights, as full partners in nding
solutions for the entire community. It will take the involvement
of all community stakeholders to enable such a vision to be
attained for our communitys children and adults.
We mentioned the word justice briey. Clearly, its very
important that courts sentence abusers in line with the level
of distress caused to their victims. Any future enquiries should
adopt good international practice, in looking at truth rather
than blame as its primary objective. Jersey needs to know
what really happened and its survivors need to be able to tell
their histories, without fear of risking any future prosecution,
or compromising their prospects for compensation or
employment.
If that does not happen, Jersey will live with a legacy that
will powerfully hinder personal and community healing for
decades to come; well simply keep feeding a festering
social wound, which will continue to impact the whole
community, not just the victims.
The empowerment of a truth healing model, specialist
professionals believe, increases active recovery from the
emotional distress experienced by abuse survivors. It requires
a very public and proactive community response in order to
be successful. Apologising is one of the rst steps in such a
process. It allows the community to start welcoming home
the survivor - welcoming them back to our community. It
forms the foundation of what is called parallel justice, a
concept afrmed by Rape Crisis and NAPAC, and dened
as follows:
The concept of Parallel Justice elevates the goal of helping
victims rebuild their lives to a fundamental component of
justice. Parallel Justice requires us to decouple the pursuit
of justice for victims from the administration of justice for
offenders. Under a system of Parallel Justice, the societal
message to victims would be, What happened to you is
wrong and we will help you rebuild your life.
The theory then considers the steps needed to achieve
such a whole-community-based justice outcome for
survivors of abuse:
Victims want to feel safe, recover from the trauma theyve
suffered and regain control of their lives
We have merely tinkered with a system that was created
for very different purposes and hoped it would meet the
needs of victims
We need to separate the pursuit of justice for victims from
the administration of justice for offenders
Imagine a society that felt that justice required that every
effort be made to help all victims of crime
The frst principle of Parallel Justice is that we marshal
government resources to help victims feel safe and get
back on track
It is in our interest as a nation to help victims of crime.
The justice we seek will also produce a safer society
Free abuse survivors stuck in systems that are
inappropriate to their needs
Quotes from Heenan, National Centre for Victims of Crime.
Of course, the will to make such a vision real requires
investment that is political as well as nancial. We do not
like making such investments for victims. Especially when the
issue is childhood abuse. Wed rather believe the victims are
lying or ignore their needs, perhaps hoping they will vanish
from our sight by emotional attrition, if we ignore them long
enough. Sadly many do vanish forever, when such non-
compassionate strategies are tolerated by our communities,
politicians and ofcials.
However, the majority of survivors dont vanish, they present
across the system, searching for help most services dont
have the training to provide. As a society we really do like
to look the other way when child or adult abuse victims are
the issue.
Its the twenty-rst century; the time has really come to get
over our fears and look at the professionally evidenced
solutions available - solutions which can positively support
all victims of all childhood abuses. We will then start to
deal effectively with the real legacy of human distress left by
childhood abuse: isolation and silence, thereby preventing
so many members of our communities from having to deal
with such isolation. Isolation is a very painfully silent and
lonely place from which to cope with abuse experiences,
without innovative support.
Paraphrasing the words a survivor once spoke to a
lm maker:
If we lean into the silence and listen to what it has to say,
we might nd many of the answers to childhood and adult
abuse and how to stop and recover from it.
This guide has been created with the help of many people.
They gave freely to help Jersey lean into its silence and,
hopefully, listen to what it has to say. We also hope in
a small way to give survivors a little more help in self-
helping. However, the guide is not a substitute for the skilled
professional interventions a twenty-rst century emotional
trauma support service could deliver for our community.
Our profound wish is that our leaders and community will
see the common sense of recognising the need for such a
service. We can only hope.
We created this guide on a shoestring; imagine what
could be created with real resourcing and capacity.
Yours truly,
Jersey Care Leavers Association,
on behalf of all abuse victims on Jersey
Sexual violence, including childhood sexual abuse, impacts
on physical health, reproductive health, sexual health and
mental health. It can cause anxiety and depression, sleep
problems, nightmares and ashbacks, low self esteem and
lack of condence, self harm including drug and alcohol
abuse and dependence, self injury and eating disorders,
suicide, chronic physical pain, sexually transmitted infections,
unwanted pregnancy and gynaecological problems. It is
linked with homelessness, unemployment, criminalisation,
interrupted education and training, relationship issues and
revictimisation. It requires specialist support services.
Rape Crisis Centres across the UK provide a range of
practical and therapeutic support including:
Face to face counselling
Telephone helplines
Information and support from report to court
Advocacy
Outreach work e.g. in prisons and schools
Practical support and information
Support for partners/family
Educational/awareness raising talks
Training
Group work
Joint projects e.g. with domestic violence services
The main focus of the UK Government remains rmly on
challenging the unacceptably low rape conviction rate
of 5.7%, which strongly indicates that survivors of sexual
violence are not receiving justice in the criminal justice
system. Yet securing a criminal conviction is not the only
outcome that survivors of sexual violence say they want or
need. What is urgently needed is parallel justice, which
concentrates on the support needs of survivors of sexual
violence, alongside holding perpetrators to account.
The Guiding Principles of Parallel Justice:
Victims want to feel safe, recover from the trauma theyve
suffered and regain control of their lives
We have merely tinkered with a system that was created
for very different purposes and hoped it would meet the
needs of victims
We need to separate the pursuit of justice for victims from
the administration of justice for offenders
Imagine a society that felt that justice required that every
effort be made to help all victims of crime
The frst principle of Parallel Justice is that we marshal
government resources to help victims feel safe and get
back on track
It is in our interest as a nation to help victims of crime. The
justice we seek will also produce a safer society
Quotes from Heenan, National Centre for Victims of Crime.
Rape Crisis (England and Wales)
www.rapecrisis.org.uk
Delivering a 21st century vision for victims of sexual violence & abuse
- anywhere in the world.
Rape Crisis
General self help advice
1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.
Sexual abuse of children involves older people such as adults or adolescents
relating to children in a way that is about the distorted power needs of the
perpetrators and not about the childrens need to be nurtured and protected.
It can take a variety of forms, including physical sexual
contact, sexualised conversation, pressure on the child to
become sexually active with others and the showing of
pornographic pictures and lms.
Methods used by perpetrators to gain contact with children
and keep their activities secret include physical force,
targeting of lonely children and threats against childrens
loved ones.
Childhood sexual abuse
can be deeply traumatic and can damage your trust, your
relationships and your sense of self-worth and belonging;
can happen to a child of any background; is carried out by
people in all walks of life, and most often by someone the
child already knows; and is a life experience, not a marker
of who you are - with the right support, it is possible to heal
from many of the traumatic effects of this experience.
What childhood sexual abuse is not
- the childs fault
- justiable
- rare
If you are a woman and you were sexually abused in
childhood you may nd that the challenges you face in
surviving and thriving are intensied by the sheer volume of
images and stories of women being sexually objectied and
victimised that are circulated in our media and culture, or by
street harassment, or by other forms of sexist behaviour from
both men and women.
You might hold a belief that your value lies in being attractive
to others, or in providing sexual services to others.
You might be afraid to be seen as attractive, believing that
it makes you vulnerable, or responsible for other peoples
reactions.
You might feel guilty and ashamed about enjoying sex, or
feel unable to develop and enjoy your own sexuality, or
sexual orientation.
What helps?
Recognising, over time, that the abuse wasnt your fault - it
was a crime that was perpetrated against you
Being believed when you choose to tell your story
Remembering that it takes love and support for a person to
grow and be happy, and no-one can do without it. If you
suffered damaging abuse in childhood, you need all the
more love and support now. Accept that you deserve this
love and support, and get help wherever possible, from
people close to you and from professionals
It can really help you turn things around to have some talking
therapy with a therapist who has a good understanding
of the issues around CSA and who inspires your trust and
condence. Go with your gut feeling.
Other experiences that could have a therapeutic effect as
you go through times of crisis and healing include
- complementary therapies
- using afrmations and meditation
- being outdoors
- putting your feet up in front of the TV
- playing sports and games
- belonging to a group, whether you share hobbies,
political leanings or spiritual beliefs
- positive self-talk - reminding yourself of your good
qualities, the need to be patient with yourself, etc.
- hugs
- eating out
- cooking at home
Learning to be your own nurturer can be a massive challenge
for a survivor of CSA, but making progress in this respect
quickly feels good, and you deserve to feel good.
General self help advice
1 in 6 boys is sexually abused in childhood.
Sexual abuse of children involves older people such as adults or adolescents
relating to children in a way that is about the distorted power needs of the
perpetrators and not about the childrens need to be nurtured and protected.
It can take a variety of forms, including:
physical sexual contact, sexualised conversation, pressure
on the child to become sexually active with others, and the
showing of pornographic pictures and lms.
Methods used by perpetrators to gain contact with children
and keep their activities secret include physical force,
targeting of lonely children and threats against childrens
loved ones.
Childhood sexual abuse
can be deeply traumatic and can damage your trust, your
relationships and your sense of self-worth and belonging;
can happen to a child of any background; is carried out by
people in all walks of life, and most often by someone the
child already knows; and is a life experience, not a marker
of who you are - with the right support, it is possible to heal
from many of the traumatic effects of this experience.
What childhood sexual abuse is not
- the childs fault
- justiable
- rare
If you are a man and you were sexually abused in childhood
it may be more difcult for you to understand that you were
the victim of childhood sexual abuse, or to nd appropriate
support and advice, because of living in a culture that rarely
acknowledges male victims of sexual abuse, and focuses
more on male identities connected with being tough or
victimising others.
You may react to the pain of abuse in ways that are
traditionally more acceptable for men, such as angry
outbursts or promiscuity.
When you hear the myths about how all male survivors of
CSA become abusers themselves, you may worry that this is
true, or worry that people will believe this about you.
You might feel guilty and ashamed about enjoying sex, or
feel unable to develop and enjoy your own sexuality, or
sexual orientation.
What helps?
Recognising, over time, that the abuse wasnt your fault - it
was a crime that was perpetrated against you.
Being believed when you choose to tell your story.
Remembering that it takes love and support for a person to
grow and be happy, and no-one can do without it. If you
suffered damaging abuse in childhood, you need all the
more love and support now. Accept that you deserve this
love and support, and get help wherever possible, from
people close to you and from professionals.
It can really help you turn things around to have some talking
therapy with a therapist who has a good understanding
of the issues around CSA and who inspires your trust and
condence. Go with your gut feeling.
Other experiences that could have a therapeutic effect as
you go through times of crisis and healing include
- complementary therapies
- using afrmations and meditation
- being outdoors
- putting your feet up in front of the TV
- playing sports and games
- belonging to a group, whether you share hobbies,
political leanings or spiritual beliefs
- positive self-talk - reminding yourself of your good
qualities, the need to be patient with yourself, etc.
- hugs
- eating out
- cooking at home
Learning to be your own nurturer can be a massive challenge
for a survivor of CSA, but making progress in this respect
quickly feels good, and you deserve to feel good.
General self help advice
There are a number of reasons why children who have learning disabilities,
and also adults with learning disabilities, need particular protection from
sexual abuse.
People with disabilities may in fact have an overall risk of
abuse that is as much as four times higher than in the rest of
the population (Muccigrosso, 1991, cited by Mencap in
Behind Closed Doors, 2004).
The results of a study of sexual abuse of people with learning
disabilities in the South East Thames region suggest that at
least 1,400 adults with a learning disability may be reported
as victims of sexual abuse each year (Brown, Stein and Tusk,
The Sexual Abuse of Adults with a Learning Disability: a
Second Incidence Study. Mental Handicap Research 1995,
also cited by by Mencap in Behind Closed Doors).
Why children and adults with learning
disabilities are vulnerable
They may:
- lack condence and power within relationships, or have
been taught to be overly compliant with authority gures
- depend on others for care, including professional carers
- be unable to recognise after the event what has
taken place
- be afraid to report abuse - in addition to feelings of
shame and guilt, or fear that there is no-one who would
listen, which all survivors may have, people with learning
disabilities can also face communication difculties
- (as adults) be unable to identify or avoid
abusive situations
- (as adults) lack the capacity for consent to sexual relations
in some cases of severe learning disabilities.
Religious abuse
Throughout history, religious communities have often been the way by which
families and cultures celebrated, performed rituals, created laws of behavior and
established worldviews.
Religion has been as much a part of people as their own
skin, constantly changing on a cellular level. It was intended
to address what Felix Adler frst spoke of at the end of the
19th century - the deep overwhelming human experience of
truth that provides the ultimate meaning of existence. Religion
and its culture replicate and give meaning to the connection
of family, no matter where its members live.
But sometimes religion, or more accurately, those who are in
a religious system or community hurt the very people they are
supposed to serve.
Discrimination, persecution, violation, shame, hatred, all in
the name of God, religion or a cult - religious abuse is the
physical, mental or spiritual damage suffered by members
of a faith community when its leaders or the membership
exploit, manipulate or harm them. The abuse can occur at
the hands of one religious community toward another, or
when a communitys rigid dogmatism or adherence to the
letter of the law comes at the expense of human compassion.
Sometimes it is the refusal of the community to demand
accountability and transparency from its leaders.
A hate crime, an unconscious or condescending racist
action, bigotry or shunning because of a persons sexuality,
sexual orientation or gender under the umbrella of religious
protocol is abuse. Rape, seduction or the violation of a
sexual boundary not only in a family, but perhaps with a
member of the ministry - all of these - not only devastate
ones compass about his or her experience of the world but
confuse their inner world.
The harm of such abuse and such shame is not simply
psychological, which is why talk therapy doesnt always
touch it. The affect of religious abuse can sometimes reach
even to the core of the self where there may no longer be a
place for love, or the love of what was originally sacred.
In the trauma of such abuse, memory can splatter across
the pavement of the mind like shards of glass. Truth is not
always linear. Sometimes distortions will cover truth over and
over again retelling the event with indoctrination, lies, or
with silence.
And if the ones who were supposed to protect and comfort
the aficted have perpetrated the abuse themselves by
hiding their own worst truths, their victims may be shunned or
punished if they try to speak of what has happened to them.
In religious organisations, often the truth can become more
complicated. It was supposed to set one free, but it weighs
heavy. Telling what has happened is supposed to give some
closure, but sometimes because of the institutional response,
silence is only way to survive.
How does one nd safety again to trust ones own body
again, to salvage a sense of sexual integrity again? When
the shame about ones sexuality or sexual orientation,
shame about the body or even ones own exuberance for
life creates confusion about ones intimate relationships and
those with oneself, how does one reengage the space for
wonder or for curiosity? How can one nd a way to rage,
to reclaim what is valuable, to grieve for what one has lost?
What does one do with fear or cynicism, or despair for
that matter?
There must be a way to nd words or meaning again,
to regain physical, moral, or sexual integrity again, to
experiment with spirituality or some kind of inner life.
There must be a way to tell ones own truth again, to be
heard - and believed.
Mikele Rauch
Author
Healing the Soul after Religious Abuse
The Dark Heaven of Recovery
mikelerauch.com
General self help advice
Adults who sexually abuse children are found in all walks of life.
There is no guarantee that a person will not abuse children
simply because they:
- appear personable
- appear to care about children
- occupy a position of high trust and responsibility
- make claims to high spiritual development
In his book Beyond Betrayal, Dr Richard Gartner writes:
Many child abusers are attracted to careers and avocations
that make them special in the eyes of the community.
They may be teachers, clergy, scoutmasters, choirmasters,
coaches, Big Brothers, child care workers, doctors or other
health workers or civic leaders. These positions can help an
abuser gain access to children and serve as a cover for the
abuse they commit.
So, while the great majority of people in positions of
authority do not sexually abuse children, some do.
There are specic issues for those sexually abused in
childhood by perpetrators who hold positions of authority
and responsibility within faith communities - preachers, youth
workers, lay volunteers etc.
The victim may:
- have had particularly high trust in the perpetrator prior
to abuse
- have increased difculty in nding someone to believe
them or in seeking acknowledgement or legal redress
- feel they have to choose between their place of worship/
faith community and their family
- lose, or struggle with, a faith that was important to them
- be subject to grooming practices which prey on
religious guilt
If you are a survivor of this kind of abuse, it may be
helpful for you to:
- get support from a network of people with similar
experiences (see Resources)
- consider getting legal or personal support from outside
your faith community
- remember that the person who perpetrated the abuse
against you committed a criminal act, and both
perpetrators and religious institutions that fail to prevent
the sexual abuse of the children involved with them should
be held accountable.
how to support an adult survivor of childhood
sexual abuse
Listen and believe. There may be some parts of their story that shock or disturb
you, but a survivor needs people who can listen and accept the truth of what
they say. Listen to their feelings, and keep their condence.
Accept them
Every survivor of childhood sexual abuse is an individual and
may have reactions and needs you didnt expect.
Respect them
It is especially important to allow a survivor control over their
own life, as they have lacked this control in the past. Support
them in making their own decisions, and step back when the
help they need comes from other sources.
Be reliable and trustworthy
Others in their life may not have been worthy of trust but if
they are letting you know about their experiences they are
trusting you to be there for them.
Reassure them that they are not to blame. Resist the
temptation to blame the victim - it can be hard to face the
reality of how innocent and vulnerable the victim of abuse
was, but the truth is that the responsibility lies with the abuser.
Reect on your attitudes towards women or men who have
been sexually abused.
Support them in nding a safe place to go or in getting help
with the physical consequences of abuse such as disease,
injury or pregnancy.
Support them in their choice of whether to report the abuse
or not.
Understand that survivors have particular needs and
challenges in the context of sex and intimacy and be as
sensitive as you can.
Learn as much as you can about healing and recovery from
sexual abuse.
- Believe in their potential for healing from the pain of
childhood sexual abuse, and let them know you have faith
in them.
- Be there for the long term.
- Set your own boundaries and communicate them to the
survivor. Take some time out from providing support when
you need to.
Seek help in dealing with your feelings and reactions if you
need it. You matter too, and it can be challenging to support
someone who has been abused in childhood. It helps both
you and the survivor if you look after yourself.
dos and donts
Professionals who encounter adult survivors of CSA at work have the opportunity
to provide them with crucial assistance.
Here are some key factors:
Create the right environment for initial disclosure - allow time
and space, listen carefully to what is said or left unsaid,
notice nonverbal clues, address any reluctance you may
have to hear about abuse or survivors needs. Sometimes
it is appropriate to ask, sensitively, questions such as,
Did anyone hurt you when you were a child? In short,
be willing.
Believe the survivor. Validate their anger. Show acceptance
and respect. Your whole manner counts - tone of voice and
body language as well as words.
Go at the survivors pace
Believe in your ability to provide this support and make a
difference. Reject the myth that talking about sexual abuse
makes things worse.
Be genuine in the support that you give, even if you feel it
is limited by your level of knowledge and training, by time
pressures or by personal factors. Be honest as well as warm.
Feel good about maintaining healthy boundaries. Ask for
the supervision and support you need as you carry out this
demanding work.
Anticipate that disclosing may prompt a release of difcult
feelings for a survivor you may need to work with them to
identify and source further support.
Dont bail out
The survivor needs to be accepted, not experience further
rejection. Even if you only have brief contact with them,
make it count.
Help the survivor to address broad health and practical
needs. Take their concerns seriously. Let them lead on what
the issues are for them and what they need help to achieve
now. Some survivors need help over a much longer timescale
than others. Ask them!!
Activism
A number of years ago I was asked by a college to speak about my personal
experience with abuse.
This was the rst time I ever spoke about what had
happened to me in a public forum. I remember the weeks
leading up to the speech - I felt a mixture of dread, anxiety,
shame, and empowerment. It was then that I got a taste of
what it really meant to be an advocate. I was preparing to
advocate for the little boy that represented who I was, and
am still today.
On the day, I had every intention of talking about myself. I
took the podium and began to speak. But what came out
wasnt about me. It was about my best friend. You see,
my life was lled with people who were looking to take
advantage of me. As a child and survivor of abuse, I wasnt
very good at sticking up for myself. I was routinely pushed,
prodded, and pummeled by the bigger kids in school. I think
in my heart that they knew something was different about
me. I was just another easy mark.
That all changed one day when a kid came by my house
and introduced himself. His name was Eddie. He was only
a year older than me, but he was a kid in a mans body.
We became fast friends. I soon realized that this kid, who I
proudly called best friend, had a huge heart.
Eddie had a reputation as a a troublemaker, but he was
simply misunderstood. I noticed the more I hung out with him
the less I was bullied. Somehow my best friend Eddie also
became my best advocate. From the day that I met him to
the day that he took his own life he was always trying to
protect me. Most of the time I didnt even know he was.
I think he knew I was a survivor even though I never told
him. I remember the day he came to my house and told me
his dark secret. His mother had physically beaten him from
as long as he could remember. It was then that I knew why
he would go out of his way to help a little defenseless kid
like me. I was the rst person he told. I never knew if he told
anyone else.
I realized that it was impossible to tell my story without rst
telling his. So I told the audience about Eddie. I wanted them
to know that he deserved an advocate in his life. He didnt
have one. He had been my strongest advocate and I was
grateful on that day to be his. He gave me something so
simple yet so needed. The feeling that I wasnt alone in
this world.
The more I told the story, the more stories I received from
other men. They didnt have the power so they wanted me to
speak for them.
There isnt much incentive for men to speak out about their
abuse. They have to deal with the ignorance of other men
and women. Men are often the subject of ridicule, having
our manhood and sexual orientation called into question.
There are even people who dont believe boys or men CAN
be abused against their own will. Certainly not by a woman.
These are only some of the reasons why we dont see men
speaking out about abuse.
There are even female advocates who believe that men
should be excluded from the resources that are provided
to women. Men shouldnt be in groups designated for
women. So its no surprise that our men are continuing to
suffer in silence. Its no surprise that our communities are not
confronting change as a united front. The abuse will continue
as long as we decide to ght it apart.
It was in that spirit that I started a non-prot organization
with my wife Ophelia, a survivor herself, to ensure that all
survivors of abuse, rape, and gender violence have a voice
when they need it. We decided that the best way to achieve
a true end to abuse is by including women and men together
in this ght. We are mutually supportive, regardless of
gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, or color.
Abuse occurs everywhere. So its going to take everybody to
ght it. Women have been ghting it for so long. They have
won many battles. Now is the time to empower our men
to come forward and share their experiences. I sometimes
wonder if Eddies life would have turned out differently if
he had a strong male advocate in his life. For now, I am
resolved to speak his truths and stand by strong women
when I do it.
Advocates simply speak out for those survivors who cant.
Men. Women. Together.
Christopher de Serres
www.womenspeakoutnow.com
Risks & Rewards?
To be an activist is to act in ways that afrm and improve life for you and others.
Activism connected to childhood sexual abuse, by survivors,
can take many forms, and can be undertaken for a variety
of reasons.
Each survivor is unique and will have their own personal
timetable for any activist involvement they may choose
for themselves.
Personal activism
For example surviving against the odds, getting therapy,
learning to dance, practising assertiveness, keeping a
journal, learning to value your own viewpoint, going to
places youve always wanted to visit.
Wider activism
For example disclosing, being part of a campaigning
group, distributing educational literature, fundraising for local
support facilities, reporting your perpetrator to the police,
journalism, blogging.
Risks
When you have been abused, it can be a steep learning
curve to prioritise your own needs and choose the challenges
that are right for you, at the right time.
Dont let yourself be pressured, even by yourself, into taking
on activities or deadlines you do not feel comfortable with.
The number one form of activism for a survivor is to do what
helps you to be well.
Rewards
Life, this society, and this world belong to survivors as much
as they belong to anyone. You have a right, if you want to,
to speak out, to campaign, to expect better, to FEEL better,
to make recommendations, to enjoy life, and to be a fully
engaged citizen on your own terms.
About sexual violence/abuse
MYTH: Children are usually abused by strangers.
FACT: 75-80% of children are abused by someone they
know i.e. family members, relatives and/or close
friends. Indeed, the people likely to abuse children
are those who have the most opportunity and access
to them.
MYTH: Sexual abuse is a rare occurrence.
FACT: Documented estimates of abuse vary from 1 in 23,
to 1 in 4 children.
In UK the 1 in 4 gure is the most accepted
by Government.
MYTH: Sexual abuse only happens in working class
and/or rural families.
FACT: Sexual abusers has no favourites. Their abuse
crosses all socio-economic, race and class barriers.
Anybody can be an abuser and anybody can be
abused.
MYTH: Only young girls are the victims of sexual abuse.
FACT: Both young girls and boys are equally vulnerable
to sexual exploitation. Currently reported cases
indicate a higher percentage of girls are victims.
However the UKs Childline has reported a major
increase in young boys reporting sexual abuse
during 2008 - 2009.
MYTH: The offending male is either mentally ill or retarded.
FACT: Men and women who offend often have histories of
being very respected professional and community
gures. There is no robust evidence which supports
the belief that they are mentally ill.
MYTH: It is only homosexuals who abuse children of their
own sex.
FACT: Adult male and female-child abuse is mostly
perpetrated by paedophiles or heterosexual
men/women.
MYTH: Children make up sexual abuse incidents.
FACT: Children do not have the explicit sexual knowledge
to enable them to talk about the phenomenon unless
they have experienced it. Children do not have the
capacity to make it up.
MYTH: Children are seductive. They fantasise about abuse,
want it, may experience pleasure and get a payoff
from its occurrence.
FACT: Children are sensual. Seductive is an adults
interpretation of behaviour which is bestowed
on a child. Those who are being abused sexually
learn usually at a very young age that in order to
get these needs met they must put out sexually.
They begin to equate love with sex. They begin
behaving in sexual ways to get affection. Their
behaviour is often labelled seductive. If children
respond to abuse, this just means that their body
is functioning normally.
MYTH: There is a universal, cross-cultural taboo against sexual abuse which
prevents its occurrence.
FACT: Sexual abuse can and does happen. The taboo is not against doing it,
it is against talking about it. The taboo keeps sexual abuse in the dark thus
encouraging the very behaviour it is supposed to prevent.
MYTH: Sexual abuse is non-violent, therefore it is
non-damaging.
FACT: It is not the violence but factors such as the length
of relationship, the emotional distance from the
offender and the age of the child that inuence the
degree of traumatisation and disruption the child will
experience. What might be considered by some
as a minor incident can have a great impact on
the child. Of course many children also experience
violence during abuse.
Children who are abused are:
- denied a childhood
- denied a loving and nurturing relationship of trust
- exploited and betrayed by a person in a position
of authority and trust.
MYTH: Sexual abuse is a one or two-time occurrence
involving a single child.
FACT: Sexual abuse typically goes on for many years
prior to discovery. It is not conned to one child but
usually involves children sequentially by age.
MYTH: Sexual abuse is a problem of the family only.
FACT: 50% of runaway girls and boys, 70% of adolescent
drug addicts and 60% of young prostitutes were
the victims of sexual abuse. The latest research from
the UKs Barnardos charity reinforces the dangers
that vulnerable children face in relation to planned
sexual exploitation.
MYTH: It is better not to talk about sexual abuse - the child/
adult survivor will forget.
FACT: Adults do not talk about abuse because of their own
discomfort with the topic. If you are not willing to
talk about the situation, you risk reinforcing to the
victim that you think it is something to be ashamed
of, that it is dirty and just too awful to talk about.
This attitude will only serve to increase guilt, shame
and feelings of abnormality for the victim.
(Compiled from a general review of myth advice 2009)
Information for professionals & survivors
They may experience a range of problems dependent on
the nature and extent of their abuse including:
i. direct physical and psychological effects of the abuse at
the time and subsequently
ii. coping strategies developed during and after the
experiences (including dissociation, accommodation and
denial, self harm through alcohol and drug abuse, eating
disorders, cutting and attempted suicide)
iii. retraumatisation as a result of insensitive treatment in
medical and therapeutic settings
iv. revictimisation through vulnerability to domestic and sexual
violence, to predatory paedophiles, being pimped,
prostitution and pornography
Both the therapist and the survivor need to be aware that
these are all normal reactions to the trauma experienced as
a result of having been sexually abused as a child and they
can be treated.
The ability of a survivor to move beyond the use of harmful
and abusive coping strategies and the pain of the past
will depend in part on the nature, timing and length of the
therapies employed, but above all on the quality of the
therapeutic relationship.
For those who have experienced the most severe and
chronic abuse, there is a need to repair the damage
through the experience of a non-abusive attachment within
a relationship of trust and a process of transference that
enables the past to be assimilated into the present without
the pain or the mechanisms previously used to cope with
the pain.
This can be achieved using a variety of different
psychological and psychodynamic therapies delivered by
a well-trained, well-supervised experienced therapist who
understands what needs to be done and how to do it.
With an inner world based on a secure attachment,
together with methods to manage their mental and
emotional equilibrium and to maintain self-esteem (such as
cognitive mental exercises, and/or medication), and the
opportunity to return at times of crisis for further therapeutic
support (if necessary), even those who have been most
severely and systematically abused can have some real
hope of maintaining and continuing their recovery.
Therapeutic Interventions
Although the health and mental health signs and symptoms
of having been sexually abused as a child are common to
many survivors, the therapeutic needs of each individual in
time and over time will vary signicantly.
Different interventions and approaches are helpful for
different clients, or for different stages for an individual
client, or for different aspects of their recovery.
Establishing trust within the therapeutic relationship is
essential and it is the therapists responsibility to do this.
Showing respect for the truth and validity of the emotions
and recollections disclosed within therapy is essential to a
relationship of trust.
Some survivors have clear and distinct memories of their
abuse, for others memories may be occluded apart from
the legacy of distress reected in their emotional and
mental states and (self-harming) behaviours. The recovery
of memories is not necessary to recover from the effects of
the abuse (see below).
Adult survivors of serious and chronic childhood sexual abuse do whatever they
need to survive the physical and psychological pain of their abuse.
Suicide and self harm need to be treated with sensitivity
and understanding, adopting a supportive harm
minimisation approach. Dealing with the experience and
effects of historical abuse can be overwhelming and
lead to an inability to regulate emotions and differentiate
past and present. One role of the therapist is to help the
survivor to identify, manage and stabilise the mental and
physical effects of their abuse.
Interventions such as cognitive behavioural therapy,
schema-focused and dialectical behaviour therapy,
psychoeducation, bibliotherapy, and the use of
medication both in the short and the long term can help
with this.
Dissociation is likely to have been a signicant feature
of survival at the time of sexual abuse in childhood and
subsequently, for many survivors. Treating dissociation,
and in particular the more extreme form of Dissociative
Identify Disorders (DID) experienced by those most
severely and chronically abused, requires specialist
understanding on the part of the therapist.
Assessment should be undertaken before embarking on a
full therapeutic intervention, or alternatively be identied
as an outcome of the initial stage of a therapeutic
process, and the product of developing a professional,
therapeutic relationship between client and therapist.
Clients should expect to be fully informed of what the
therapeutic approach can offer, for the combined aim of
achieving genuine consent, understanding and adhering
to clear boundaries, appropriate use of contracts between
the client and therapist, and ensuring that the client has
both the internal resources and external support to cope
with and experience the benets from the intervention.
Helpful therapeutic interventions
Integrative model; mutual support, survivor led therapeutic
groups; group therapy; CBT, dialectical behaviour therapy,
EDMR and sensory-motor therapies, solution focused
brief therapy; behaviour modication, panic and anxiety
management; psychodynamic, gestalt, attachment theory
based therapies; debrieng, reality checking, afrmations
and meditations; narrative therapy, art and creative
therapies.
Not recommended
Memory recovery and authentication work; offering
authentication for recovered memories regression; hypnosis;
unstructured groups; exclusively cognitive, behavioural or
analytic approaches; Freudian psychoanalysis; blank screen
work; forcing or promoting forgiveness; challenging directly
or contracting to control self harm; brief or time limited (unless
part of broader therapeutic process).
Talking about abuse is not a necessary part
of the healing process
Dealing with the underlying abuse is an essential part of the
healing process. But there is much more to this than talking
about abuse.
It is possible to describe experiences of abuse without any
healing benet (especially if it becomes a compulsion to
repeat the story without sufcient attention to creating the
context which will ensure a healing response).
It is possible to make progress in healing through
managing, experiencing and integrating the emotions
associated with abuse without telling the story.
The therapist should communicate to the survivor that:
i. s/he is able and willing to hear specic details of
the abuse experienced and how this has effected the
survivor, but
ii. when and how or if the survivor speaks about the abuse
should be wholly within their control, and
iii. they can recover from the effects of the abuse without
talking directly or specically about it at all.
A person-centred, jointly controlled
therapeutic process
There was strong support in the Delphi expert consultation for
patient/client led therapy working at their own pace in their
own way - and in control.
At the same time, an expectation that a trained therapist
will retain responsibility for the parameters of the therapy -
and be in control.
Both are true:
i. the patient/client wanting to regain some of the control in
the safety of a therapeutic relationship that they lacked as
a child subject to sexual and other abuse and powerless
to stop it
ii. the therapists need to contain and provide safety for the
patient/client to work through the effects of having had no
control as a child, and letting go of control as a coping
mechanism in a relationship of therapeutic trust and
delineated boundaries.
Therapy needs to work developmentally from a point
where the survivor needs to be in control of a relationship
in which there are two people who can both matter (an
intersubjective space).
Self-Harm
Department of Health policy supports the harm minimisation
approach to self harm set out in the Womens Mental Health
Strategy.
Sensitive and appropriate responses to suicidality
and self-harm
Many survivors/victims are suicidal and have lived with
those feelings for many years; panicking and taking
control of their life by rushing in to Section them is,
in many cases, unnecessary, and the antidote to their
desire to die is a stable, caring, boundaried therapeutic
relationship.
Many survivor/victims nd it hard to tell professionals
about their suicidal feelings because of this panic on
the behalf of professionals in the past and are therefore
isolated further with the pain and distress, and their
memories, secrets, and self-hatred.
Many survivors self-harm in order to cope with the
overwhelming feelings and to divert the pain from the
emotions to their physical being. Again, calm exploration
rather than panic and rushing in to stop them is most often
the best way ahead - respect, care, patience, enquiry,
inquisitiveness on the part of the therapist can go a very
long way to help the survivor/victim recover in the way
they need to recover.
Memories and recovering memories of abuse
are not necessary to recover from its effects
Believing in the authenticity and truth of the clients accounts
of their experiences as they recall them, and the emotions
associated with them is essential to their recovery.
However, it requires an understanding by both that the
memories may not necessarily be accurate accounts of
specic events or incidents that happened in the past, and
it does not matter if they are or not.
Attempts to authenticate memories are not encouraged,
nor therapeutic interventions that go looking for
memories, such as regression, or hypnosis, or other
memory work predicated on the belief that memories
need to be recovered and dealt with for therapy to
succeed.
It is not necessary for a patient/client to recover actual
memories of real events to recover from the effects
of abuse through the therapeutic relationship and the
processes of transference and counter-transference.
The role of memory in a therapeutic setting
Therapists working with survivors are often in a precarious
position, especially if memories of abuse start surfacing
during the course of therapy. Therapists should be aware of
the possible contamination effects on memory. Unless there
is denite, corroborating proof they should make it clear that
it is not possible to know if the memories being recovered
are authentic, and that knowing for certain is not necessary
to recovery. A supportive approach which acknowledges
the clients distress, confusion, and agony of not knowing
the concrete facts is what is needed. Even if there is clear
evidence, the problem is the legacy of the abuse in the
clients distress and the road to recovery is to remain rmly
within the boundaries of the therapists role and the processes
of the therapeutic relationship. This protects both the client
and the therapist.
Dissociation & Dissociative Identity Disorder
A review of the literature (Fonagy and Target 1995)
found that 90% of patients meeting the DSMIV criteria for
Dissociative Identity Disorder provided a history of physical
and sexual abuse.
An understanding of dissociation and the complex
dissociative disorders (including complex-PTSD), is often
key to the successful care, support and treatment of adult
survivors of repeated, extreme and/or prolonged sexual
and other abuse in childhood.
Disssociation (ie to have kept themselves safe by going
away mentally while the abuse took place) will have been
the single most important survival tool for someone who
was sexually abused as a child. Going about their daily
lives adult survivors often dissociate, losing minutes, hours
or days they cannot account for - especially during times
of stress. It is important to validate how useful this process
was for the child they once were, but to point out that it is
no longer appropriate and could jeopardise their safety.
Being aware of when disassociation occurs can make it
less frequent.
However, one feature of the condition is that the
presenting adult can be totally unaware of his/her abuse
history, nor aware of dissociation either as a process or a
disorder, or of when and how they themselves dissociate.
Even in the best therapeutic relationship it needs a lot of
trust to allow it to be manifest, identied and discussed
as such, and there is the potential for retraumatisation in
identifying and naming it.
The presence of two or more distinct identities or
personality states (each with its own relatively enduring
pattern of perceiving, relating to and thinking about the
environment and self).
At least two of these identities or personality states
recurrently take control of the persons behaviour.
Inability to recall important personal information that is too
extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness and
not due to the direct effects of a substance (eg blackouts
or chaotic behaviour during alcohol intoxication) or of a
medical condition.
Survivor literature
The NICE Guideline on Self Harm referred to the wealth
of survivor literature. Its size and signicance is a measure
of the lifelong legacy of pain and debilitating effects that
can occur and the hunger for this literature as a source of
self-help, of hope and hope of recovery for those who were
victimised in childhood.
At the same time notes of caution were expressed amongst
the Delphi experts - both survivors and practitioners on the
role of survivor literature as:
on the one hand inspirational, on the other potentially
triggering and retraumatising;
helpful in normalising, destigmatising and removing
isolation, but also leaving a survivor vulnerable to
handling their experiences (feelings and memories) on
their own or with unqualied non-professionals.
Peer survivor support groups
Choice of therapeutic method depends on many factors but
peer group support is valued highly by women and men
who have experienced childhood sexual abuse. Its value is
in helping survivors cope with the challenges of daily life and
crises and it is thus an effective therapeutic intervention, in its
own right.
For some survivors peer-led approaches are primary
in their recovery; for most such approaches can assist
recovery but only in combination with other interventions.
Without access to individual therapy, peer-led
approaches on their own are unlikely to be sufcient for
survivors to recover from serious and chronic sexual abuse
as a child, and from Dissociative Identity Disorders.
Therapist led group therapy
Therapist led unstructured group therapy - ie where
the content is not directed by the therapist - can be an
empowering experience.
Common themes such as powerlessness, shame, anger,
confrontation, self esteem etc will emerge in unstructured
groups and be focused on as they emerge and links
between past experiences and present experience,
behaviour and relationships will be made.
There is a positive difference in allowing women to talk
about what feels pertinent to them each week with a
therapist highlighting themes and dynamics, and the
therapist providing the themes each week and expecting
women to follow that external structure. An unstructured
format along these lines is more respectful.
Key messages
Childhood sexual abuse is a life experience not a
disease or an illness. It is important that survivors can
obtain psychological therapies and other therapeutic
interventions for the effects of the abuse if they need this,
without becoming medicalised and stigmatised by mental
health labels.
Dissociation is a common symptom and survival technique
in this group and therapists should therefore be aware of
the nature of dissociation, how to identify it and how to
respond to it without further harming the client.
There is a role for both self help peer groups and group
therapy with a trained facilitator who has supervision and
support.
As with those who have been raped or sexually assaulted,
some adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse may want
several periods of short term therapy at different points in
their lives with the same or different therapists, working at
different levels of intensity or depth.
Some victims of childhood sexual abuse require long
term therapy because the abuse has been carried for a
long time, and affected every aspect of their lives and
relationships throughout their childhood, adolescence
and adulthood.
To establish trust in a therapeutic relationship, to go
through the necessary process of establishing and
experiencing a non-abusive attachment, to gain
understanding of how to maintain their mental and
emotional equilibrium, and to go through the essential
process of nishing therapy requires a length of time.
Chronic medical conditions are treated until the patient
is well enough to carry on with their lives. If given the
right therapeutic interventions and support, and allowed
enough time, survivors of childhood sexual abuse can
also become well enough to move on with their lives.
What Works - a survivor perspective - Delphi expert view
Therapy has three stages - building trust, working through
and letting go.
The watchword when working with survivors needs to be
work together not do things to.
Fragile self-esteem and the complexity of abuse mean
that care must be reliable and consistent if trust is to be
established.
Trust is essential if productive work is to be done.
Rejection must be avoided.
Timing is important, sessions must begin and end on time.
The demeanour of the therapist must be consistent.
Low self-esteem means that every step is a hurdle to be
overcome - we simply do not believe that we are worth
peoples attention.
Therefore the therapist needs to be prepared to be tested
by the survivors who will expect to be rejected and will try
to ensure that rejection occurs.
Finally a natural consequence of therapy is that survivors
become dependent on their therapists.
The ending of therapy is the most important phase. An
incorrect ending can destroy all the good work done in
the earlier stages.
The ending of any therapy must be at the survivors
request.
The problem for the NHS is that survivors take a long time
to reach the ready to go point
The above is an extract from a Delphi research project led
by Professor Catherine Itzin for the UKs Department of Health
Victims of Violence and Abuse Prevent Programme
(VVAPP) project 2005 - 2008. The project engaged with
over 300 front line specialist sexual abuse workers across
sectors, disciplines and victim/survivor interfaces.
Things to remember during recovery
- I am a worthy and good person
- I am doing the best I can, given my history and level of
current awareness
- Like everyone else, I am a fallible person and at times will
make mistakes and learn from them.
- What is, is.
- Look at how much Ive accomplished, and I am still
progressing.
- There are no failures only different degrees of success.
- Be honest and true to myself.
- It is okay to let myself be distressed for awhile.
- I will remain engaged and involved instead of isolating
and withdrawing during this situation.
- I am not helpless. I can and will take the steps needed to
get through this crisis.
- This is an opportunity, instead of a threat. I will use
this experience to learn something new, to change my
direction, or to try a new approach.
- One step at a time.
- I can stay calm when talking to difcult people.
- I know I will be okay no matter what happens.
- He/She is responsible for their reaction to me.
- This difcult/painful situation will soon be over.
- I can stand anything for awhile.
- In the long run who will remember or care?
- Is this really important enough to become upset about?
- I dont really need to prove myself in this situation.
- Other peoples opinions are just their opinions.
- Others are not perfect, and I wont put pressure on myself
by expecting them to be.
- I cannot control the behaviors of others, I can only control
my own behaviors.
- I am not responsible to make other people okay.
- I will respond appropriately, and not be reactive.
- I feel better when I dont make assumptions about the
thoughts or behaviors of others.
- I will enjoy myself, even when life is hard.
- Dont sweat the small stuff - its all small stuff.
- My past does not control my future.
- I choose to be a happy person.
- I am respectful to others and deserve to be respected
in return.
- There is less stress in being optimistic and choosing to be
in control.
- I am willing to do whatever is necessary to make
tomorrow better.
author unknown
This shall pass and my life will be better.
How to view your childhood records: A guide
for Jersey care leavers
Introduction
This guide on accessing your records is a general guide.
It takes into account that Jersey has similar data protection
legislation to that which exists in the UK. However, you will
need to check what Jersey data protection legislation says
and whether there are any differences between Jersey and
the UK in this area.
It has been produced by the Care Leavers Association,
which is based in Manchester but tries to cover the UK as a
whole. We have been trying to help the Jersey Care Leavers
Association since Spring 2008 and this is another way in
which we want to contribute to helping care leavers
on Jersey.
At the moment, we are updating our main guide.
Therefore, if you want further information you should go to
www.careleavers.org, where you will be able to download
our more recent guide from the end of 2009. Our website
also contains a lot of other details on accessing your les.
Can this guide be given to others?
Yes, but only to other care leavers. Otherwise, this guide
may not be reproduced without the permission of the Care
Leavers Association.
What is the purpose of data protection
legislation?
Such legislation, in both Jersey and the UK, is meant
to protect the privacy of individuals, including you, by
preventing people from giving out your personal information
to other people and organisations. This goal also allows you
to check your personal information, held by others, to see if
it is right. Sometimes, you can also ask for corrections and,
importantly, you are entitled to a copy of the le.
Am I allowed to see my childhood case
records?
If you were in local authority social services care as a child
then the law should give you the right to view your records.
If you were in the care of a charity, they may refuse to give
you access. However, in practice even charities will usually
allow access.
Do I have to give a reason?
No, you should not have to give a reason. Certainly in the
UK you dont have to give a reason. Although you may be
asked why you want to view your case le, you should not
be denied access if you dont give a specic reason. Nor
should you be denied access if you turn down any offer of
counselling before, during or after accessing your le. Nor
should you need to be seen by a social worker. It is good if
support and counselling is offered, but it should not
be compulsory.
Do my childhood social work records
still exist?
Perhaps. In the past in the UK many local authorities were
allowed to destroy child care les a few years after the child
left care. That has now been changed and les have to be
kept until at least the 75th birthday of the person concerned.
You will need to check if any les were destroyed on Jersey,
prior to data protection legislation coming into force. You
may, of course, already know that your les are or were
with the police or some other agency. It is worth noting
that missing case records have often been lost rather than
destroyed. Such case les may still exist and be traceable.
If you are told that your records have been destroyed, it
may help to make a Freedom of Information request to the
authority who would have held your le about its policy for
keeping or destroying case records in past years.
This may inform you if your records have been destroyed in
line with a clear policy. To do this, you will need to nd out
what legal provisions Jersey has on freedom of information
issues and requests.
How do I apply for access?
First, fnd out the contact details of the person in the
organisation that holds your le who is responsible for
allowing access. This should be the authority where you
were last in care. Try telephoning them or emailing them to
nd out what to do next and whether they are, in fact, the
right authority. For example, in the UK local authorities can
charge 10 to allow access, but many choose not to do so.
Try to nd out if Jersey charge anything for these requests.
However, if you already know this information and you
cannot get a telephone number or email contact, you should
write to them because it is likely that all requests will have to
be made in writing for the process to begin properly.
When you write, provide as much detail about dates and
locations of your time in care as you can. Also, keep a copy
of all correspondence about your request; this may be helpful
if you need to make a complaint later. We have provided a
specimen letter, at the end of this guide, for you to use if
you want.
Where can I nd contact details for where
my les are held?
If you do not know where your les are held, you should
rst approach the Jersey health and social services and try
to nd out who is their person in charge of data protection
issues. It is likely that Jersey law reects UK law in this area
and agencies have to have someone whose job it is to deal
with data protection issues. Try ringing the local authority
and asking for the contact details of their Data Protection
Ofcer (or whatever similar title is used). Once you reach
this person, they will either be the one responsible for your
le access or they will know who is responsible and can
refer you on to them.
Do I need to conrm my identity?
Yes, almost certainly. The social work agency must be certain
that it is releasing your personal data to you alone and not to
an impersonator. It should therefore insist that you prove your
identity before it releases your personal data. The agency
may ask you to present yourself in person, along with your
passport or some similar photographic identication, before
it releases your records to you.
How long must I wait?
In the UK, a local authority must legally supply you with your
personal data within 40 days. However, they may need to
delete much information about other people from your le
(unless you have already got permission from those people
for you to look at their information). As a result, we do not
encourage you to complain as soon as the 40-day deadline
is exceeded, unless you think there are unjustied reasons for
the delay. If you do, they may just rush the task and not give
you as much information as you are entitled to. On the other
hand, dont leave it too long before chasing them. Try to nd
out the reasons for the delay and whether they sound fair or
unfair to you.
Whose information can I see?
You can usually only see your personal data. Only
biographical information that is mainly focused on you
can be your personal data. You are not permitted to view
information that is focussed on someone else (this is called
third party information in the UK).
Suppose my personal data contains
information about others?
Often, your personal data will contain data about someone
other than yourself, such as your parents or brothers or sisters.
In most cases, your personal data must be released to you
with the details about other people taken out. However,
taking out information about other family members is unlikely
to prevent you from knowing who is being referred to. Even
if it is not possible to take out information about other people
you should still be entitled to your own information if it is
reasonable to do this.
It often helps if you can get a signed letter from the other
person (such as a family member) giving permission for
access. Care leavers in the UK have done this and found
that it can save time and mean more information is released
to you in the le.
There are some circumstances in which you may be denied
access. For example, in the UK the law allows social
services to not give you the le if it is seen as likely to cause
serious harm to either you or someone else. However, there
is evidence that this bit of the law has been used too often
and you should feel free to challenge this if it happens
to you.
In our view, this rule should only ever be used if the person
requesting the le has a relevant and certied mental health
condition. Even then, denying access to the le should not
be automatic but should be on a case-by-case basis. There
should be a presumed right of access unless there are
very good reasons to deny access. Often, authorities are
concerned about the impact of releasing this information but
dont fully understand how important and benecial it can be
for the care leaver involved.
In our view, serious harm suggests physical violence or
suicide. Being upset or afraid is not serious harm and
information that might produce these feelings in you or
another is not a good enough reason to keep information
from you.
In the UK, the law also forces Social Services to give you
information that your carers supplied about you. This includes
information supplied by foster carers. Under UK legislation,
social workers, foster carers, house-parents, guardians,
psychiatrists and others are all people whose reports must be
disclosed to you.
Will I receive all my personal data?
Perhaps. In the UK, a local authority does not have to tell
you when it has withheld some of your information. We
recommend your written request to view your case le
also asks for details of whether and why any personal
information about you may have been withheld. You may
also need to ask about a complaints procedure if you are not
satised. However, before doing this or possibly using court
proceedings it would be a good idea to inform the authority
in writing of your plan. This may, in some cases, make them
seek to settle the dispute.
Suggested letter to request access
Dear Data Protection Manager
Subject access request under data protection legislation
I was in the care of (insert local authority or organisations
name) as a child from (insert month and year here) to (insert
month and year here). Please supply me with a copy of my
personal data relating to my time in your care. I enclose
a cheque for 10 for this purpose. I will supply you with
photocopies of ofcial documents bearing my name and
photograph if you need further proof my identity.
In your response, please give me written reasons for
withholding any of my personal data from the information
you have sent me.
Freedom of information request
If you are unable to full my subject access request because
my case records have been lost or destroyed, then please
supply me with details of your organisations le retention
policy both now and in past decades.
Yours faithfully
(Sign & print your name here)
Further information
We have more information on our website:
www.careleavers.com
About the Care Leavers Association
We are a registered charity (1111988) run by care leavers
for care leavers of all ages. We are also a company limited
by guarantee, registered in England and Wales with the
number 5204243.
Contact details:
Unit 11, Phase 1, Express Networks,
1 George Leigh Street
Manchester M4 5DL
Email: info@careleavers.org
Tel: 0161 236 1980 or 0161 238 9025
NAPAC
(The National Association for People Abused in Childhood)
Support Line: 0800 085 3330
42 Curtain Road, London, EC2A 3NH
A small charity offering general support and signposting
nationally for survivors of sexual abuse via a free phone
helpline.
Rape Crisis England & Wales
www.rapecrisis.org.uk
Umbrella organisation for services supporting female
& male survivors of sexual abuse.
The Survivors Trust
www.thesurvivorstrust.org
Tel: 01788 550554
Unit 2, Eastlands Court Business Centre,
St Peters Road, Rugby, CV21 3QP
Umbrella organisation supporting specialist rape & sexual
abuse services
UK Police agency protecting children
www.ceop.police.uk
General sites: information & advice
in no particular order
www.abuse-survivors.org.uk
www.angelashelton.org
www.aest.org.uk
www.alice-miller.com
www.darkness2light.org
www.giftfromwithin.org
www.havoca.org
www.jimhopper.com
www.operationemotion.co.uk
www.oneinfour.org
www.tpcauk.com
www.safelinewarwick.co.uk
www.survivorguide.co.uk
www.siari.co.uk
www.supportline.org.uk
www.victimsnolonger.org.uk
Male survivors
www.male-rape.org.uk
www.malesurvivor.org
www.nextstepcounselling.org
www.amsosa.com
www.survivorsuk.org
www.survivorsfellowshiplondon.org.uk
www.mankindcounselling.org.uk
www.survivorsmanchester.org.uk
Clergy abuse
www.holywater-gate.com
www.snapnetwork.org
www.mikelerauch.com
Careleavers organisations
www.jerseycareleavers.com
www.careleavers.com
www.careleavers.com/clreunited
Self Help
Breaking Free: Help for Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
Carolyn Ainscough, Kay Toon
Paperback 266 pages (April 2000)
Publisher: Sheldon Press
ISBN: 0859698106
This manual is designed to help survivors of child sexual
abuse. It updates the rst edition, and investigates all the
effects of child sexual abuse, which often persist into adult
life - guilt and shame, depression and anxiety, eating
disorders, fear of relationships and sexual problems.

The Drama of Being a Child: The Search for the True Self
Alice Miller
Paperback 174 pages (April 27, 1995)
Publisher: Virago Press
ISBN: 1860491014
Miller has rewritten most of this book in the light of her move
beyond the framework of psychoanalysis. In this version,
Miller details how we can use her discoveries to help free
ourselves. She illustrates, with many examples, how it is
possible to recover lost feelings and repressed history,
ending with a healthy beginning.
Overcoming Sexual and Childhood Abuse
Liz Adamson
Paperback 154 pages (March 1, 2004)
Publisher: Diviniti Publishing Ltd
ISBN: 1901923525
This book is in two parts. Part one looks at all the patterns
and issues associated with abuse. Part two provides
processes and exercises designed to rid abuse victims of the
negative aspects of the past. This can be done by individuals
or within a group context. Liz Adamson is a leading UK life
coach and self help author.
The Male Survivor - The impact of sexual abuse
Matthew Parynick Mendel
Paperback 264 pages (December 30, 1994)
Publisher: Sage Publications (USA)
ISBN: 0803954425
The Male Survivor shatters many myths regarding the
invulnerability of male victims. This book carefully expounds
the specic social and psychological issues faced by men
who were abused as children.

The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors
of Child Sexual Abuse
Ellen Bass, Laura Davis
Paperback 495 pages (April 11, 2002)
Publisher: Vermilion
ISBN: 0091884209
Based on the experiences of hundreds of survivors, this work
proles victims who share the challenges and triumphs of
their personal healing processes. it offers mental, emotional
and physical support to all people who are in the process of
rebuilding their lives.

The Courage to Heal Workbook: For Women and Men
Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
Laura Davis
Spiral-bound 475 pages (February 1, 1990)
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0060964375
As a step-by-step guide through the healing process, this
workbook offers provides same directional support as its
companion bestseller, Courage to Heal. The workbook is
a combination of checklists, open-ended questions, writing
exercises, art projects, and activities.
Here is a list of books that you may nd useful. If you purchase any of the books
(or any other products) through NAPACs website, via the link to Amazon, NAPAC
will receive 10.5% of the cover value from them.
Victims No Longer- The Classic Guide for Men Recovering
from Sexual Child Abuse
Mike Lew
Paperback 464 pages (May 1, 2004)
Publisher: Perennial
ISBN: 006053026X
Mike Lews book positively shows that hope, information,
and understanding will lead to recovery.
With insight into the causes and treatment, intelligent
advice, and respect for deep emotions, you feel youre in
compassionate hands that have steered many success stories
of recovery.

The Right to Innocence: Healing the Trauma of Childhood
Sexual Abuse
Beverly Engel
Paperback 252 pages (August 1, 1991)
Publisher: Ivy Books
ISBN: 0804105855
Based on the authors wide-ranging counselling experiences,
this book provides a seven-step recovery program for men
and women who were sexually abused as children, helping
them heal and face a positive future.

Breaking Down the Wall of Silence: To Join the
Waiting Child
Alice Miller, Simon Worrall
Paperback 191 pages (November 6, 1997)
Publisher: Virago Press
ISBN: 1860493475
Miller and Worrall analyse people such as Hitler and
Nicolae Ceasescu - drawing on her own painful childhood
experiences, Miller argues the point that The culture that
ignores roots of hatred and tyranny embedded in its own
childrearing traditions renders itself ripe for payback. This
book deals with child abuse studies and how dictators can
be shaped from societies that endure this behaviour.

The Survivors Guide to Sex
Staci Haines
Paperback 200 pages (April 1, 1999)
Publisher: Cleis Press
ISBN: 1573440795
Everyone who wishes to be able to enjoy sex after the pain
of abuse will nd help here. It is also an essential aid for
anyone who is having sex with someone who has been
through the trauma of non-consensual abuse. It is informative,
sensitive and very well written. Its chapters cover areas such
as personal triggers, communication of fears, letting go of the
physical trauma, and more. It also includes a comprehensive
resource section.

Stories by survivors of abuse
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Maya Angelou
Hardcover 197 pages (July 1, 1998)
Publisher: Chelsea House Publishers
ISBN: 0791047733
Ms. Angelou paints a picture not only of her own life but of
all young women who have had to struggle up from poverty
by the strength of their own will. Her courage in coming forth
with her story of sexual abuse has empowered and inspired
generations of young women.
An Invisible Child
Jo Evans
Hardcover 112 pages (August 2003)
Publisher: The Book Guild Ltd
ISBN: 1857767179
This book is recommended reading this to anyone abused
in childhood, has been affected by it or for anyone who is
seeking courage. It focuses on the way the author and other
victims successfully stood up and disputed the law on plea
bargaining. It is written in clear and accessible language.
Strong at the Broken Places: Overcoming the Trauma
of Child Abuse
Linda T. Sanford
Paperback 224 pages (August 29, 1991)
Publisher: Virago Press
ISBN: 1853813745
This book challenges the idea that childhood victims are
caught forever in the vicious circle of abuse. In 17 years of
working with victims and survivors, the author discovered that
most survivors break free from the patterns of victimization.
Over 20 people were interviewed in depth for this book.
The Golly in the Cupboard
Phil Frampton
Paperback 302 pages (May 20, 2004)
Publisher: Tamic Publications
ISBN: 0954764900
Phil Framptons memoir is a dramatic and gripping detective
story of a man who goes in search of the background to his
parentless childhood spent in foster care, institutions and bed
sits. Using letters and ofcial records, he unfolds an odyssey
of love, rejection, racism, cruelty, joy, bravery, lies and
deception, and reveals his reactions to his discoveries.

Self Injury
A Bright Red Scream: Self-mutilation and the Language
of Pain (A Virago V)
Marilee Strong, Armando R. Favazza
Hardcover 232 pages (October 1, 1998)
Publisher: Viking/Allen Lane
ISBN: 0670877816
This book aims to provide both hope and help to people
who self-injure.There are ways to heal both the internal and
external wounds. Fifty-plus self-injurers from across the U.S.
(and in the U.K., Canada, and Australia) bravely shared
their stories with the author and helped her to understand this
very complex phenomenon.

Healing the Hurt Within: Understand Self-Injury
& Self-Harm, & Heal the Emotional Wounds
Jan Sutton
Hardcover 256 pages (May 27, 2005)
Publisher: How To Books
ISBN: 1845280369

Self-Injury: When Pain Feels Good
(Resources for Changing Lives)
Edward T. Welch
Paperback 28 pages (March 1, 2004)
Publisher: P & R Publishing
ISBN: 0875526977

For partners/loved ones
Living with the Legacy of Abuse: How to Make Your
Relationship Work When Your Partner Is a Survivor of
Childhood Sexual Abuse
Beverly Engels
Paperback 219 pages (April 29, 1998)
Publisher: Camden Press
ISBN: 0948491531
This book presents essential information on abuse, the
recovery process, and the resultant responses of the survivor.
Engel summarises the types of support that the survivor
needs. It covers the reactions that survivors experience during
the recovery period and how to deal with them.
For Professionals
Understanding Trauma: A Psychoanalytical Approach
Caroline Garland
Paperback 256 pages (July 2002)
Publisher: Karnac Books
ISBN: 1855759772
This book is a good introduction to the area of trauma.

Treating Victims of Torture and Violence: Theoretical,
Cross-cultural and Clinical Implications
Peter Elsass
Hardcover 256 pages (December 31, 1997)
Publisher: New York University Press
ISBN: 0814722016
This is a helpful textbook on cross-cultural issues and on
eroded personal boundaries. The book deals with a
neglected area of psychiatry. Dr. Elsass has done a great
deal of work in this area and has thought a great deal about
the topic. His book contains much useful and interesting
information.

Transforming Trauma: Guide to Understanding and
Treating Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
Anna C. Salter
Paperback 360 pages (August 30, 1995)
Publisher: Sage Publications (USA)
ISBN: 080395509X
A balanced account of perpetrator and victim psychology,
and treatment approaches.
Multiple Selves, Multiple Voices: Working with Trauma,
Violation and Dissociation (Wiley Series in Clinical
Psychology)
Phil Mollon
Paperback 228 pages (April 17, 1996)
Publisher: John Wiley and Sons Ltd
ISBN: 0471963305
A good introduction to the area of Dissociation.

Torture & Its Consequences:
Current Treatment Approaches
Metin Basoglu
Hardcover 551 pages (January 7, 1999)
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
ISBN: 0521392993
A rounded account of interventions for victims of torture.

The Body Remembers: The Psychophysiology of Trauma
and Trauma Treatment
Babette Rothschild
Paperback 224 pages (October 1, 2000)
Publisher: W.W. Norton & Company Ltd
ISBN: 0393703274
This book highlights the importance of understanding the
psychophysiology of trauma for both therapists and their
traumatised clients.

Faith
This section was compiled by Margaret Kennedy
of MACSAS.
Out of Bounds; Sexual exploitation
in counselling & therapy
Janice Russell
Paperback 160 pages (March 30, 1993)
Publisher: Sage Publications Ltd
ISBN: 0803985347

Sex, Priests and Power; Anatomy of a crises
Richard Sipe
Hardcover 224 pages (November 14, 1996)
Publisher: Continuum International Publishing
ISBN: 0304346381
A Secret World: Sexuality and the Search for Celibacy
Richard Sipe
Paperback 336 pages (December 1990)
Publisher: Brunner/Mazel
ISBN: 0876305850

Faith Born of Seduction: sexual trauma,
body image and religion
Jennifer Manlowe
Paperback 230 pages (August 1, 1995)
Publisher: New York University Press
ISBN: 0814755291

At Personal Risk: boundary violations in a professional
- client relationship
Marilyn Peterson
Hardcover 208 pages (April 1, 1992)
Publisher: W.W. Norton & Company Ltd
ISBN: 0393701387

Is Nothing Sacred? The story of a Pastor,
the woman he sexually abused, and the congregation
he nearly destroyed
Marie Fortune
Paperback 163 pages (March 1, 1999)
Publisher: United Church Press
ISBN: 0829812709
Victim to Survivor: Women recovering from
Clergy Sexual Abuse
Nancy Werking Poling
Paperback 122 pages (February 1, 1999)
Publisher: United Church Press
ISBN: 0829813233

Before the Fall: Preventing Pastoral Sexual Abuse
Nils C. Friberg, Mark R. Laaser
Paperback 160 pages (January 1, 1998)
Publisher: The Liturgical Press
ISBN: 0814623913

Christianity, Patriarchy and Abuse: A Feminist Critique
Joanne Carlson Brown, Carole R Bohn
Paperback 173 pages (October 1993)
Publisher: Pilgrim P, US
ISBN: 0829808086

Sex in the Forbidden Zone: When Therapists, Doctors,
Clergy, Teachers and Other Men in Power Betray
Womens Trust
Peter Rutter
Paperback 240 pages (January 9, 1995)
Publisher: Aquarian Press
ISBN: 1855384604
Boundary Wars: Intimacy and Distance
in Healing Relationships
Katherine H. Ragsdale
Paperback 264 pages (July 1996)
Publisher: Pilgrim Press
ISBN: 0829811184

Understanding Clergy Misconduct in Religious Systems:
Scapegoating, Family Secrets, and the Abuse of Power
Candace Reed Benyei
Paperback 197 pages (August 1, 1998)
Publisher: Haworth Press, Inc
ISBN: 0789004526
The Cry of Tamar: Violence Against Women and the
Churchs Response
Pamela Cooper-White
Paperback 320 pages (June 1995)
Publisher: Augsburg Fortress Publishers
ISBN: 080062730X

Breach of Trust: Sexual Exploitation by Health Care
Professionals
John C. Gonsiorek (Editor)
Paperback 456 pages (December 30, 1994)
Publisher: Sage Publications (USA)
ISBN: 080395557X

The Abuse of Power: A Theological Pattern
James Newton Poling
Paperback 224 pages (December 1, 1991)
Publisher: Abingdon Press
ISBN: 0687006848

Ethics in Pastoral Ministry
Richard M. Gula
Paperback 176 pages (March 1996)
Publisher: Paulist Press
ISBN: 0809136201

Sex in the Parish
Karen Lebacqz, Ronald Barton
Paperback 279 pages (September 1, 1991)
Publisher: Westminster John Knox Press
ISBN: 0664250874

Ungodly Fear: Fundamentalist Christianity
and the Abuse of Power
Stephen Parsons
Hardcover 320 pages (April 3, 2000)
Publisher: Lion Publishing PLC
ISBN: 0745942881

Wolves Within the Fold: Religion, Leadership
and Abuses of Power
Anson Shupe (Editor)
Paperback 272 pages (February 1997)
Publisher: Rutgers University Press
ISBN: 0813524903
Clergy or Minister sexual exploitation of adults in the
Pastoral relationship; what you need to know
Leaet by Margaret Kennedy and produced by MACSAS.
100 copies 10.
MACSAS
PO Box 46933
London
E8 1XA
Eating Disorders
Binge No More: Your Guide to
Overcoming Disordered Eating
Joyce D. Nash
Paperback 168 pages (February 2000)
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
ISBN: 1572241748
Breaking Free from Anorexia Nervosa: A Survival Guide
for Families, Friends and Sufferers
Janet Treasure
Paperback 160 pages (November 3, 1997)
Publisher: Psychology Press
ISBN: 0863777600
Getting Better Bit(e) by Bit(e): Survival Kit for Sufferers
of Bulimia Nervosa and Binge Eating Disorders
Ulrike Schmidt, Janet Treasure, Tom Treasure (Illustrator)
Paperback 160 pages (September 15, 1993)
Publisher: Psychology Press
ISBN: 0863773222
Bulimia Nervosa and Binge-eating: A Guide to Recovery
Peter Cooper, Christopher Fairburn
Paperback 160 pages (July 9, 1993)
Publisher: Constable and Robinson
ISBN: 1854871714
Depression
Overcoming Depression
Paul Gilbert
Paperback 352 pages (May 2000)
Publisher: Constable and Robinson
ISBN: 1841191256

Staying Sane: How to Make Your Mind Work for You
Raj Persaud
Paperback 609 pages (May 1, 2001)
Publisher: Bantam
ISBN: 0553813471

Born to Win: Transactional Analysis
with Gestalt Experiments
Muriel James, Dorothy Jongeward
Paperback 320 pages (September 1, 1996)
Publisher: Da Capo Press
ISBN: 0201590441

Undoing Depression: What Therapy Doesnt Teach
You and Medication Cant Give You
Richard OConnor
Paperback 358 pages (January 1, 1999)
Publisher: G P Putnams Sons
ISBN: 0425166791

Biography
Prozac Nation: Young and Depressed in America
- A Memoir
Elizabeth Wurtzel
Paperback 336 pages (March 1, 1996)
Publisher: Quartet Books Ltd
ISBN: 0704380080
Depression - For partners
What to Do When Someone You Love Is Depressed
Mitch Golant
Paperback 192 pages (April 1, 1998)
Publisher: Henry Holt
ISBN: 080505829X

How You Can Survive When Theyre Depressed:
Living and Coping with Depression Fallout
Anne Shefeld
Paperback 320 pages (May 1, 1999)
Publisher: Crown Publications
ISBN: 0609804154

Disassociation
The Body Bears the Burden: Trauma, Dissociation,
and Disease
Robert C. Scaer
Paperback 278 pages (December 31, 2001)
Publisher: Haworth Press, Inc
ISBN: 0789012464
Incest
A God called Father: One Womans Recovery from Incest
and Multiple Personality
Paperback 236 pages (April 3, 2002)
Publisher: 1st Books Library
ISBN: 0759661464

The Woman Inside: A Resource Guide Designed to Lead
Women from Incest Victim to Survivor
Paperback 145 pages
Publisher: Mother Courage Press
ISBN: 0941300137

Healing the Incest Wound: Adult Survivors in Therapy
Christine A. Courtois
Paperback 414 pages (March 1996)
Publisher: W.W. Norton & Company Ltd
ISBN: 0393313565

Other
Here is the NSPCCs recommended reading list for adults
abused as children.
www.nspcc.org.uk/inform/ReadingLists/Adults.asp
Thank you for contacting NAPAC, we hope that you nd
this support pack of help. If you have any suggestions for
fundraising, or any other feedback, please do get in touch.