WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING: THE LIVED EXPERIENCE OF EXPECTANT FATHERS WITH WIVES OR PARTNERS GOING THROUGH PREGNANCY

Danielle Bernadette U. Labuga, Vannesa C. Villarmino, Maria Christine Y. Garcia, Maureen S. Ventura Jennylou S. Santos, Eric E. Zingapan, Rachel Anne Sarmiento, RN MAN

College of Nursing Research Development and Innovation Center Our Lady of Fatima University

WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING Abstract

During pregnancy, people always tend to see the part played by the expectant mother more than what the expectant fathers perform. This paper ought to see the experiences of expectant fathers and the changes in them brought about by the pregnancy of their partners through interview, textual analysis of data to determine the lived experience of the respondents in the study. The results showed that pregnancy affected the expectant fathers physically, emotionally, psychologically and psychosocially. Physical changes like fatigue, lack of sleep and decreased alcohol intake were evident from the respondents as well as emotional changes like emotional maturity and increased empathic capabilities. Psychological changes lead to increased sense of responsibility, maturity and anxiety while psychosocial changes resulted to strengthened marital relationship and decreased social interaction.

Keywords: Expectant father, Pregnancy, Fatherhood, Expectant mother, Gestation

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING 1.0 Introduction

Expectant fathers undergo a series of rapid changes during the pregnancy of their wives. But how do they experience it? Even though they do not go through the process of conception, their mere presence and attitude have a huge impact towards their spouses pregnancy. As fatherhood becomes one of the focuses for the behavioural sciences, the attention has turned to mens parenting involvement and mainly to the experiences of becoming a father and a husband during pregnancy.

One factor leading to their change in behaviour is when their pregnant wives enter the stage of gestational cravings (paglilihi), which is defined by Ciriacruz (2008), as the changes in the first trimester of pregnancy where the womans senses are buffeted by all sorts of yearnings. The pregnant woman would want to see, smell, touch, taste and hear specific things. Food cravings, aversions and pica are only a part of this Filipino belief. Horrendous and overflowing emotions come with it, too.

Ciriacruz (2008) cited anthropologist and professor Maria Luisa Lucas Fernan who stated that these cravings for food is a way of involving or sharing the experience of pregnancy to the husband. The wife bears the burden, maybe, but not necessarily alone. However, do all these expectant fathers fulfil their duties and responsibilities during their wifes pregnancy? In an investigation of expectant couples, Curtis & Blume (2007) found that mens attitude towards pregnancy were associated with their reactions to the perinatal period. These attitudes not only affect their emotional wellbeing during the pregnancy but were also communicated to their wives through their receptiveness. Furthermore, they credited that during this time of fatherhood, the man develops the sense of nurture and caring. His visible role in the pregnancy consists primarily of providing emotional and physical support for his wife. But on the other hand, pregnancy had also been linked to negative coping behaviours. A mans lack of empathy for their spouse and their inability to cope with anxiety can be caused by these sudden burdens on their shoulder during pregnancy, added by the whims and demands of their wives during the period of gestational cravings. The transition of roles from being partners to parents take much effort and could be tremendously stressful to them since they are not used to the responsibility and diversion of their wives attention. The researchers show interest in the variety of individual and relationship factors during the womans period of pregnancy. Moreover, the researcher aims to know the effect of the pregnancy related changes to the expectant fathers, since their experience of pregnancy is less obvious than the mothers.

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING The aim of this study is to broaden and expand the knowledge and awareness concerning the experience of pregnancy and cravings in the perspective of the expectant father. This study also aims to analyze the common denominator among the experiences of the husband during the pregnancy and the period of gestational cravings.

2.0 Review of Related Literature 2.1 Theoretical Framework Though this study aimed to distinguish the lived experience of the expectant fathers, frameworks are essential to provide strong theoretical bases that will guide the outcome of the paper. This research was inclined to the Interpersonal Relations Theory of Psychiatry by Harry Stack Sullivan (1954) and Theory of Interpersonal Relationship by Hildegard Peplau. Psychiatrist Harry Stack Sullivan is the creator of Interpersonal Relationship Theory of Psychiatry. The theory emphasized that the essence of being human is the capacity to live effectively in relationship with others. IPR is a relationship between two or more persons that result in a mutual or reciprocal action or influence. In his interpersonal theory, Sullivan believed that such a relationship has the power to transform an immature preadolescent in top a psychologically healthy individual. All personal growth, personal damage and regression are a result of our relationship with others. Failures to develop IPRs are responsible for mental disorders and ineffective coping. This theory points out that personality development depends on the IPR one individual has with another. Sullivan spells out the sequence of interpersonal situations to which the person is exposed in passing from infancy to adulthood, and the ways in which this situation contribute to the formation of personality. The period of late adolescence constitutes a rather prolonged initiation in to the privileges, duties, satisfactions and responsibilities of social living and citizenship. The full compliments of interpersonal relations gradually take form and there is a growth of experience in the syntaxic mode that permits a widening of symbolic horizons. The self system becomes stabilized, more effective sublimation of tensions is learned, and stronger security measures against anxiety are instituted. IPR develops through some phases between patient and nurse when they come together in the health care environment. Hildegard E. Peplau was the first person in the field of nursing who did a significant work on IPR. She published a book on Interpersonal relationship in nursing in 1952 and

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING proposed a theory of IPR in nursing. In her book, she discussed the four phases of IPR and she mentioned that nursing is a significant, therapeutic interpersonal process because it involves interaction between two or more individuals (nurse and patient) with a common goal. (Videbeck, 2010) In connection to this study, the theory of interpersonal relationship is applied by the expectant father to his wife. When there is an effective reciprocal relationship between them during pregnancy, the expectant father will likely be able to have a personal growth and a smooth role transition from becoming a partner to a parent. When there is a mutual fulfilment of needs between them, there exists coping and a successful relationship. The full complement of interpersonal relations gradually takes form and there is a growth of experience that permits a widening of their perspectives. The self system becomes stabilized, more effective sublimation of tensions is learned, and stronger security measures against anxiety are instituted. The same process goes to the nurse-patient relationship. The nurse and the expectant father develop interpersonal relationship for the nurse to help and support the father with his responsibilities and actions to understand the father with regards to his stress. He is appreciated for his performance of his roles that are ideal, expected and accomplished. If there is a satisfaction on the roles and practices of the father because of an effective interpersonal relationship with the nurse, this leads to paternal role actualization where the father develops role transition and growth as a father. However, if there is no interpersonal relationship, it results to paternal role frustration where the father remains in crisis and is unable to cope with stress.

2.2 Literature Review In the first trimester of the pregnancy, Pillitteri (2010) presented that the first task of a woman and partner is to accept the reality of pregnancy. It is recognized that all partners are important and should be encouraged to play an emotional role in the pregnancy. It means that if a woman adapts to pregnancy, her partner may go through some of the same psychological changes. It also concluded that for an expectant father, accepting the pregnancy means not only accepting the certainty of the pregnancy and the reality of a child to come but also accepting the wife in her changed state. Expectant fathers may vary feelings regarding the pregnancy. Cravings for food or aversions to certain foods during pregnancy are so common that they are considered a normal part of adaptation to pregnancy. It was formerly considered that these strange desires for food reflected a womans need to call attention to a pregnancy or were a reaction to her imposed

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING dependent state. However, cravings are actually more likely the result of a physiologic need for more carbohydrates or particular vitamins and minerals such as iron. (Pillitteri, 2010). The period of gestational cravings does not focus only on food. The pregnant woman would crave for specific things, as her senses are buffeted by all sorts of yearnings. Even tastes, touch, smell, see and hear specific things. Furthermore, pregnancy has its way of involving the people around the conceiving mother especially with a closely-tied culture like ours. This gestational craving is a way of including and partaking the experience of pregnancy; with the husband, the other members of the family, community and kin groups. Presence of pregnancy cravings involve the father in the pregnancy which can help make their marital relationship effective (Ciriacruz, 2008) Filipinos have attributed various beliefs and folklore to the things that happen during a pregnant mothers conception. Ciriacruz (2008) cited anthropologist and Professor Maria Lucas Fernan who stated that according to folklore, the types of food craved also makes an impact on the baby that is forming, that they would have an influence on the physical characteristics of the child. However, Ciriacruz (2008) also credited Dr.Nida Gloria D. Villanueva, an obstetrician and gynaecologist who said that scientifically, there is no basis in the belief that the child will reflect the food the mother craves during pregnancy.

Balisnomo, (2003) credited that people surrounding a pregnant couple tend to see the part played mostly by the pregnant mother and a little of what the fathers perform. As witnessed by the researcher, fathers were denied access to the labor and delivery rooms of most institutions or during home deliveries, and that there is a wall that separates the birthing mother and the expectant father. It deprives the father of his participation in the special event of the couples life. It also stated that crisis and stress are interrelated, for stress is an aftermath of crisis and vice versa that arises in a single entity such as the family. Pregnancy is a psychologically stressful time for the-would-be father because he too, faces the transition from non-parent to parent, or from a parent of one to a parent of two or more children. An expectant father experiences many of the same feelings and conflicts as that of an expectant mother when the pregnancy has been confirmed.

In a study conducted by Miranda et. al (2009) where they compared the fulfilment of roles and responsibilities of the teenage and adult fathers, they concluded that teenage fathers were not that prepared as much as the adult fathers. The adults were more ready and capable of handling situations concerning fatherhood, but both of them needed further teaching. The universality of concerns and

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING experienced and expressed by the fathers reflected their on-going involvement with pregnancy, a commitment to fatherhood and emotional bonding with their child. Mens experience during pregnancy has emphasized fathers coping behaviours. However, it is demonstrated that pregnancy has been associated with fathers decrease in outside activities, extramarital affairs, and job changes. It is also stressed the extent to which parenthood contributes to emotional and maturity. Presented evidence for this study, mens attitudes towards pregnancy and childbirth were associated with their reactions to the perinatal period. The expectant fathers are not only their emotional well-being that is affected during the pregnancy but also their communication to their wives through their responsiveness. Those individuals who are able to take into account the viewpoint of another may be viewed more positively and be perceived as showing a greater concern for the needs, interest, and desires of others. The couples should, therefore, support each others experiences in to place heavy demands on their perspective taking ability as parents. The role of an expectant father in pregnancy consist primarily in providing emotional and physical support for the mother as he attempts to cope, redefine himself and to anticipate the further changes that will follow birth, or his fatherhood would lead to crisis. (Curtis & Blume, 2007).

Lassally (2011) stated during pregnancy there is a transition from man to being a father. Most mens feelings of anxiety and distress occur at six to eight weeks. Though men cant bear a child, they had their biological bond and intense feeling of happiness and love through their wifes pregnancy.

On the physiological light in this study, Wilkinson (2010) states that men experienced gaining weight during their wifes pregnancy. If a pregnant woman experienced cravings for random kinds of food that they eat, their husbands may crave and indulged as well. Stress and anxiety may contribute in gaining weight in first time fathers.

In addition, Andrews and Boyle (2008) supposed that the activities of the mother and of the father (to a lesser extent) can affect the babys outcome. On the other note, they also identified that cultural differences also involves beliefs about activities throughout the whole pregnancy.

Since the role played by the father is minimally seen during pregnancy, few researches have been formulated regarding to the experience of the expectant father. Thus, this study advanced the following inquiries:

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING

Research Question 1: What are the physiologic effects of pregnancy to the expectant father?

Research Question 2: What are the emotional effects of pregnancy to the expectant father?

Research Question 3: What are the psychological effects of pregnancy to the expectant father?

Research Question 4: What are the psychosocial effects of pregnancy to the expectant father?

Accordingly, the research postulated that: The physiologic effects of pregnancy are fatigue and lack of sleep. Fathers become exhausted because many responsibilities that require physical exertion are handed to them, like increased household chores, preparation of the babys needs, and assisting their wife constantly. Since their wife is unable to sleep well, they would experience lack of sleep too, especially during the last trimester of pregnancy where their wife experiences frequent urination at night. Satisfying their wifes cra vings add to their fatigue too. Although most of the time expectant fathers indulge in their wifes cravings and the cortisol released during stress can contribute to weight gain, these does not prove that they gained weight. The emotional effect of pregnancy and gestational cravings is that at some point in the wifes pregnancy, the expectant fathers felt stressed. During pregnancy, the expectant fathers are also more empathic to their wifes feelings, since they know that pregnancy is not easy. The expec tant fathers also experienced emotional growth.

The psychological effects of pregnancy are maturity, growth, anxiety and greater sense of responsibility. Expectant fathers admitted that it was their wifes pregnancy which pushed them to be more mature and fatherly. On the other hand, other fathers who did not cope with stress experienced anxiety. Their wifes whims, demands and mood swings trigger their anxiety too. It also includes the greater sense of responsibility the fathers feel during pregnancy. Not only they feel responsible in all that is happening with her wife, but also with the different household chores he will do while his wife is pregnant.

The psychosocial effects of pregnancy depend on the openness of both the expectant parents. Through satisfying their wifes needs, they felt involved in her pregnancy. Marital relationship is affected

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING by the fathers preparedness for the pregnancy. If he provided the needs of his wife, he will most likely have a good relationship with her. If not, they will not be able to be symbiotic with each other. Outside the marital relationship, the expectant father lessened interactions with his friends. He is more focused in his wifes pregnancy.

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING 3.0 Research Method

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3.1 Research Design The researchers utilized qualitative approach and the phenomenological design in this study. This is the best research design for this study since according to Burns & Grove (2013), it aims to know the meaning of ones lived experience. The researchers used this design since it is their goal to know the lived experiences of expectant fathers. Using this design facilitates ones understanding on the changes and experience of the expectant fathers without making attempts to manipulate or control the variables. 3.2 Research Locale

The researchers conducted the study at Bgy. Sta Monica, Novaliches Quezon City with the help of Novaliches Proper Health Center, or commonly known as Arsenia De Jesus Maximo Health Center, located in Quirino highway, Novaliches Quezon City. It has been chosen by the researchers as the setting of this study since it is one of the biggest health centers within the area. Every week, there are 108 pregnant women seeking prenatal check-ups in this health center while 28-34 women giving birth weekly. They offer many health care services like routine medical and dental care, promoting and rendering EPI, medical outreach, prenatal care and other services. It also has its own lying-in and maternity ward. Since the concern of the researchers is on the husbands of primigravida women, the researchers deemed that Novaliches Proper Health Center is the best locale for the study. 3.3 Population and Sampling

The chosen subjects of the researchers are the first time expectant fathers with primigravida wife/ partner. These women may be seeking prenatal care, delivering their baby in Novaliches Proper Health Center, or women in the areas that is covered by the medical outreach of the health center, regardless of their age. Male individuals who has a multigravida and nulligravida partner, those who had fathered a child prior to the study as well as those who are not living with their partners will not be included as respondents. Researchers believe that first time fathers are fit for the study because they have no experience of becoming a father and they are more excited of their upcoming first baby, hence more sensitive to the needs of their wives. The researchers chose their respondents by using purposive or judgmental sampling technique since the population must pass the criterion first, which requires them to be a first time expectant father

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING who is living with his wife/partner for them to be considered as participants or subject of the study. It is a form of non-probability sampling in which decisions concerning the individuals to be included in the sample are taken by the researcher based upon a variety of criteria (Burns & Groves,2013). In this study the researchers will include who will pass the standards of the required subjects. They must be partners of primigravida women regardless of their age and marital status. 3.4 Research Ethics

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Principle of Fidelity and Integrity Practicing the principles of fidelity and integrity requires loyalty, fairness, truthfulness, advocacy, and dedication to our respondents. It involves an agreement to keep our promises. Researchers apply the principle of fidelity and Integrity by providing confidentiality. Any personally identifiable information from the respondents including names, addresses, should not be published in written descriptions, unless the information is essential for scientific purposes and the respondent (or parent or guardian) gives written informed consent for publication. The researchers had the respondents consent before the start of their interview. Informed consent for this purpose requires that an identifiable respondent be shown the manuscript to be published. Authors will disclose to the respondents whether any potential identifiable material might be available via the Internet as well as in print after publication.

3.5 Research Instruments

The research instrument used in this study is based on the related literature and studies for data gathering. Hence, it adheres to certain validations prior to its administration to the respondents. The content of every question in the instrument is relevant and pertinent to the subject matter. The semi-structured interview guide is utilized, and it consists of queries pertaining to the different experiences, reactions and behaviours of the expectant father during his wife s pregnancy and gestational cravings. The research instrument has undergone validation through external and internal validity by authenticating it with the help of the research adviser and external critiques. Revision of the instrument had been done through consultation and advice from an OB Gynecologist, an Obstetric Nursing professor, and a Midwife.

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING 3.6 Data Collection Before the collection of the data, a letter of consent was used in getting permission from the Quezon City Health department and was forwarded to the Health Centers Chief Officer, where the target population is situated. Researchers requested permission to identify primigravida women from their prenatal check-up, or from the health centres outreach and interviewed their husbands. Later on, the researchers personally interviewed the respondents in the setting using an audio recorder, and by taking field notes. The interview was done with the guidance of the researchers to ensure proper understanding of the questions, making their answers more reliable. Each interview was no more than twenty minutes since the time of both respondents and the researchers is taken into consideration.

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3.7 Data Analysis After the interview, the researchers transcribed the interview by incoding the whole interview precisely that the transcription matches the recorded audio and the field notes accordingly. The researchers then organized the data for presentation, analysis and interpretation. The transcribed interview was coded, and themes were generated from it using Collaizis method of data analysis.

4.0 Results

This chapter identifies and describes the study sample. The results are a description of the lived experience of the expectant fathers with wives undergoing pregnancy and gestational cravings. The experience is presented as generally identified themes which came from the interviews of the participants. This phenomenological study was guided by the Collaizis method of data analysis and the themes were identified by using this approach

Theme 1: The Early Days: The Period of Adjustment The respondents showed that the transition towards fatherhood is not that tranquil and hasty. They spent their time adapting to the roles and duties of a father. With fatherhood come the changes that would greatly affect how they live their life.

Subtheme A: The Physical Toll

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING During your wifes pregnancy, did you experience fatigue? What caused it? Oo, napagod akoKasi syempre ano.. kailangan kong mag doble kayod sa trabaho.. Nag oovertime ako (Yes I experienced fatigue... I work overtime often... Sometimes when my wife wakes up in the middle of the night, I would be awakened and I wont be able to go back to sleep...)-Respondent 1 Ah.. Oo, dahil po sa trabaho at pag mag-aalaga sa asawa ko pag umuwi ako.. Minsan (kulang ang tulog), dahil iniisip kung ano ano mga kailangang gastos sa pagbubuntis niya ( Ah... Yes (I experience fatigue) because I have to work every day and take care of my wife when I get home Sometimes I lack sleep because at night I get anxious thinking about the expenses we will be paying throughout her pregnancy)- Respondent 3 Minsan pag hatinggabi na, gigising yung asawa ko tapos nagugutom siya at naghahanap ng.. sabihin na nating mcdo. Syempre gigising ako para hanapan siya, kahit na magtatrabaho pa kokinabukasan at gigising ng alas sais.(Sometimes in the middle of the night my wife wakes up and shes hungry and craving for something like McDonalds, I have to wake up and find her food, even though I go to work at 6AM. It is pretty tiring but in the end it is worth it)-Respondent 3 Eh.. kasi ako gumagawa ng gawaing bahay. Ako pa nga naglalaba! Hindi na ako nakaka labas at nakakainom gaya ng dati (Yes sometimes (I experience fatigue) Eh.. Because I do the chores more often while taking care of my wife. I even do the laundry.! I dont go out and drink like before)-Respondent 4 Ah, dahil nagtatrabaho ako, oo (Ah, Because of my work, Yes.) Respondent 5 Oo, nakakapagod din, kasi tutulungan mo siya, alalayan mo.. ah.,,minsan may mga ibang gawain na hindi na niya dapat gawin, kaya sa gawaing-bahay, ako na ang gumagawa. (Yes, It is tiresome because you need to help your wife, assist her. There are times that she wont be able to do things, thats why I do the household chores.)- Respondent 6 Oo naman, kasi siyempre.. inaalagaan ko siya (I do get tired, because of course I take care of her)- Ah.. siyempre, bawas inuman sa mga kaibiganWala akong bisyo.. (I seldom drink beer with my friends)- Respondent 7 Oo, napagod ako lalo na ngaypng huling buwan ng pagbubuntis niya kasi kailangan ko syang bantayan pag gabi Hindi na ko masyado nakakasama at nakakainom (Yes I got tired, especially now in the last month of her pregnancy because I have to observe her during the night I dont go out and drink that much anymore) Respondent 8

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING Oo, kasi napagod kakahanap ng paraan at kakaisip kung paano maghanap ng pera para sa pagkain, ganun, at syempre pag buntis ang asawa mo, ikaw lahat gagawa sa gawaing- bahay eh.( Yes because I always think and find ways how to earn money for food (becomes sad) and of course when your wife is pregnant, you have to do all the chores)- Respondent 10 Oo naman, minsan ginigising ako ng asawa ko Di na ako nakikipaginuman ( Yeah of course (I lack sleep) Sometimes my wife makes me up I dont have the chance to drink alcoholic beverages )Respondent 11 Becoming a father implies that they would need to work harder to earn more for the coming of their baby. In addition to that, any responsibilities that require physical exertion, like doing the chores and taking care of their wife make them exhausted and experience fatigue more often. They experience lack and/or disturbed sleep whenever their wife wakes them up, or when they feel to watch over their wife as she nears her expected date of delivery. Another change is their lessened exposure to vices too, like drinking alcoholic beverages as they decrease extramarital interaction. This proves that even though the expectant fathers dont get to carry their baby, during the period of pregnancy they experience a great deal of physical burden. Bill (2007) concludes that expectant fathers experience fatigue during their wifes pregnancy. Physical exertion from increased house chores, constant assistance to their wife and preparation for the babys need can cause exhaustion and fatigue. Lack of sleep can also increase fatigue, since husbands assist their wife in their frequent and nocturnal urination.

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Subtheme B: The Lack of Preparation Were you prepared in the coming of your baby? 50-50, Oo na hindi. Kasi wala kaming masyadong pera eh. Kumbaga, oo mayh pera kami, pero hindi kasya. Nung narealize ko na magiging tatay na talaga ako, narealize ko na.. kailangan kong magtrabaho nang maige, kasi ang pagkakaroon ng anak, hindi siya madali ( 50-50, yes and no because we dont have that much money. I mean, we do have money but it wasnt enough.)- Respondent 1 Naramdaman ko na hindi pala kami handa kailangan ko pala ng mas maraming ipon.(I realized that were not that prepared and I needed to earn more money)-Respondent 2 Ah.. hindi, hindi namin napaghandaan ( Ah.. No.. No were not prepared) Respomdent 4

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING Ah.. hindi gaano. Kaya tinutulungan pa kami ng mga biyenan namin. (shy smile) ( Ah...no we werent prepared. Thats why my mother-in-law helped us...for now we are staying in my mother in-laws house)- Respondent 5 Hindi eh kasi wala akong trabaho nun.. kaya anowala akong pera(No we werent prepared because I dont have a job that time and I dont have money)- Respondent- 8 Nung tumatatak na sa isip ko na buntis siya.. hindi ako ano eh.. ahm, handa. ( When it sank in to me that she is pregnant, I was not umm...prepared for it) Nakakatakot kasi di kami handa, (It is scary because we werent prepared) Hindi gaano, kaya kami nakikitira sa magulang niya. (Not really... thats why were living in my mother-in-laws house.)- Respondent 9 Problemado sa una. iba kasi ung pinaghandaan sa hindi eh,pag pinaghandaan mo kasi, di ka mag-aalalasa susunod na araw, pero pag di mo napaghandaan lagi kang namomoblema. Pero makakaya mo din. (Problematic at first because its different , we were not prepared. If we were we dont have to be concerned on what to eat the next day, but if not, youd always have problems. but youll get through it. )Respondent 10 yan nga hinding..hindi ko nga napaghandaan nga ngayon dahil.. wala akong trabaho (Thats thats the thing. We were not preparedI dont have work right now..) Respondent 11

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Ideally, the expectant couple should be prepared and plan the pregnancy thoroughly. But majority of the expectant fathers lacked preparation, leading to emergence of conflicts and problems between them and their wife. They needed support from their parents and their in-laws. Marital relationship is affected by the fathers preparedness for the pregnancy. If he provided the needs of his wife, he will most likely have a good relationship with her. If not, problems will arise and will affect their relationship. In a study of Miranda et. al (2009) where they compared the fulfilment of roles and responsibilities of the teenage and adult fathers, they concluded that teenage fathers were not that prepared as much as the adult fathers. The adults were more ready and capable of handling situations concerning fatherhood, but both of them needed further teaching. The universality of concerns and experiences expressed by the fathers reflected their on-going involvement with pregnancy, a commitment to fatherhood and emotional bonding with their child. In our study, older fathers were prepared in the coming of their child.

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING Subtheme C: Difficult Times Pinakikinggan ko naman, minsan nagagalit din ako kasi kadalasan ang dinadada nya e tungkol sa pera, nagagalit sya dahil don (I listen to my wife but sometimes I get angry because she is always nagging me about money and she always gets mad because of that) Respondent 1 Nung pagkatapos kong mag happy happy nung buntis siya, naramdaman ko na hindi pala kami handa nakakastress (I felt stressed after being happy that she was pregnant)- Respondent 2 Kasi minsan paulit ulit nalang siya magagalit, hinahayaan ko nalang (I understand her but sometimes i'm already stressed.) ..pinakekealaman kami ng biyenan ko, eh minsan nagbubunganga din yon, nag aaway kamin ng asawa ko dahil doon (Now that my wife is pregnant, my mother-in-law butts in. Sometimes shes the reason why me and my wife fight.) Respondent 5 Nung mag bf/gf pa lang kami.. ano, parang sweet pa sa isat isa! (laugh) pero nagyon prang hindi na.. Mahirap kumita ng pera. (Way back when we are only boyfriend/girlfriend we were sweeter but now I dont think so... It is hard to earn money) Halos lahat ng problema namin dati dahil sa pera. (For the negative part, financial issues is our problem) Respondent 10

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Some of the fathers found it hard to adjust to their wifes mood swings and it would cause conflicts. Financial problems would cause complications too. Other fathers who did not cope with stress experienced anxiety. Their wifes whims, demands and mood swings trigger their anxiety too. Lassally (2011) stated during pregnancy there is a transition from man to being a father. Most mens feelings of anxiety and distress occur at six to eight weeks. Though men cant bear a child, they had their biological bond and intense feeling of happiness and love thru their wifes pregnancy. Their wifes mood swings and conflicts would trigger more of this anxiety.

Subtheme D: Mix of Emotions Masaya, nakakapagod, nakakatuwa, nakakaexcite. All in one ba. (Being a first time father, it is happy, tiring, exciting. All in one.)- Respondent 2 Nakakakaba na masaya, medyo mahirap pero kinakaya (Im anxious and happy, it is difficult but Im sure I can handle it)- Respondent 9

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING Kasi, nung nagbuntis siya, okay lang naman sabi ko sa sarili ko pero lumayo siya sa akin ng ilang araw e, ganun, iniwan, nagulat ako kasi biglaan. (Because when she got pregnant, its okay I said to myself, but then she left me for couple of days I was shocked)- Respondent 10 Masaya.. pero kasi natatakot ka na magkasakit yung anak mo. Lagi kang nag -aalala (I am happy, and I am afraid too that my baby would get sick. Worrying is constant.) Respondent 11

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Anxiety, happiness, nervousness and all other overflowing emotions are felt by the expectant father due to their inexperience in having a baby. They were excited to have a baby and become a father, and at the same time they were nervous and anxious about their partners pregnancy. They felt the challenge that came with pregnancy but they have said that theyll get through it. This is supported by Curtis &Blume (2007) who states that mens attitude towards pregnancy were associated with their reactions to the perinatal period. These attitudes not only affected their emotional wellbeing during the pregnancy but were also communicated to their wives through their receptiveness.

4.3 THEME II: The Continuing Journey: Getting Used to it As the expectant father adapts in his preparation for fatherhood, he does all the things needed for him to support her wife and the growing fetus. Not only he prepares financially, but he experiences growth and maturity as he adapts to his wifes situation.

Subtheme A: Accepting the Role of the Family Man Nung narealize ko na magiging tatay na talaga ako, narealize ko na.. kailangan kong magtrabaho nang maige, kasi ang pagkakaroon ng anak, hindi siya madali (After realizing that I am becoming a parent, I realized that I needed to work harder because having a baby is not easy... I work hard for my upcoming baby and for my wife)- Respondent 1 Pag naglilihi siya para rin akong naglilihi! (laughs) Oo, ganun na nga, binibigay ko naman (When shes craving I feel like Im experiencing gestational cravings too!) (Yes I feel involved when I respond to her demands and give her what she wants)-Respondent 2

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING Oo.. (long pause)feeling ko nga yan (kasali sa pagbubuntis), kasi syempre lalake ako, wala kong bahay bata at di ako nanganganak. Ang ginagawa ko nalang eh sumusuporta at ibibigay yung kailangan niya, inaalagaan sya ba (I did feel involved because as a man, I don have a womb and get to deliver our baby. What I do is support and take care of my wife) Respondent 4 Binibigay ko naman kung ano gusto niya.. Mahirap maging tatay pero sulit.. .Malaking tulong din yung suporta ng magulang namin.. (I give her what she wants... It is hard being a father but it is definitely worth it. I maybe hard a first but it gets better. The support from our parents was a great help) Respondent 3 Binibigay ko kung ano yung gusto niya.. kaya lang nung ano eh.. nung ikapitong buwan na niya pinagsabihan ko na wag na kumain ng icecream, baka magkadiabetes siya eh.( I am giving what she wants but during her 7th month of being pregnant, I told her not to eat ice cream because she may get Diabetes)- Respondent 7 ..Ayun.. binibigay ko lang, gusto niya maagtrabaho ako, kaya nagtatrabaho ako para sa kanila (I just give I to her..She wants me to work hard, so I work hard for them.) -Respondent 8 Ah.. syempre binibigay ko kahit papaano bilang asawa..(I am giving what I can as her husband..) Oo kasi kailangan kong gawin yon e. para masigurado na malusog sila ng baby ko ( Yes I felt involved in her pregnancy, because that is my duty. Ensuring that she and our baby is healthy) Respondent 9 Binibigay ko yung gusto niya.. kung may available (I give it to her (demands) if it is available.) Respondent 6 & 11

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Together with the transition to fatherhood, these expectant fathers accept that they need to work harder and want the best for their child, so they do the best they can to satisfy their wife. There is a greater sense of responsibility the fathers feel during pregnancy. Not only they feel responsible in all that is happening with her wife, but also with the different things their wife needs during pregnancy. The role of an expectant father in pregnancy consist primarily in providing emotional and physical support for the mother as he attempts to cope, redefine himself and to anticipate the further changes that will follow birth, or his fatherhood would lead to crisis. (Curtis & Blume, 2007)

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING Subtheme B: Lose Some to Win Some kung dati tama dapat ako lagi eh ngayon siya na dapat, iniintindi ko nalang para din sa kapakanan ng baby namin (smiles) (If in the past I was always right, now I understand my wifes feelings and this would be the best for our baby When I respond to her cravings I am assured that my baby isnt hungry. Even if I had to spend money its okay) Respondent 1 Kailangan mo kasing.. intindihin kung anong nararamdaman niya, kahit minsan nagbabago bago lang ung mood niya (You must understand the feeling of your wife even though most of the time its just their mood swings) Respondent 2 Um.. ayun.. iniintindi ko nalang yung sitwasyon nya, alam mo yun, mahirap magbuntis,

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nawarning na nila ako. Haha (Umm, I just understand her situation, you know... Being pregnant is hard and other people told me about women having mood swings and all that during pregnancy so I was warned) (laughs) Respondent 3 Natuto akong maging mas mapagbigay kesa mang-away at tumalikod. (I learned how to give and understand rather than fight and walk away) .Minsan pag hatinggabi na, gigising yung asawa ko tapos nagugutom siya at naghahanap ng.. sabihin na nating mcdo. Syempre gigising ako para hanapan siya, kahit na magtatrabaho pa ko kinabukasan at gigising ng alas sais. (Sometimes in the middle of the night my wife wakes up and shes hungry and craving for something like McDonalds, I have to wake up and find her food, even though I go to work at 6AM. It is pretty tiring but in the end it is worth it) Respondent 3 para sakanila naman ni baby lahat ng gingawa ko eh.kaya..bigay mo sakaniya ang trono, tama siya lagi! (laughs) (The things I do are for her and our baby, so youve got to give her the glory and shes always right)- Respondent 5 siyempre inuuna ko yung kapakanan nila ng baby, dapat di siya mastress kaya oo nalang ako ng oo, iniintindi ko (My wife should not be stressed out so I always agree with her. I understand her) Respondent 7 Kasi minsan paulit ulit nalang siya magagalit, hinahayaan ko nalang (She always gets mad about the same thing, so I just listen to her and let her be)- Respondent 7 para di siya mastress, binibigay ko sakaniya yung dalawang tenga ko, pag tinotopak siya nakakaya ko naman (To avoid her getting stressed, I give her all my ears you know, when she gets moody, I can handle it)- Respondent 9

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING .Iniintindi ko yung sinasabi at nararamdaman niya. Medyo sensitive siya kaya kailangan kong mag ingat sa mga sinasabi ko ( I just understand what she says and be open to her feelings. She is a bit sensitive so I have to watch out for everything that I say)- Respondent 10 imbes na magalit ako hinahayaan ko nalang. Iniintindi ko nalang kasi mainit ng ulo minsan ( Instead of getting angry when we fight I just let her be. I just understand her because she gets hot-headed sometimes)- Respondent 11

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As they adapt to their wifes pregnancy, the expectant fat hers also learn how to pave way to their wifes emotions and moods brought by gestational cravings. Most of them keep their calm when their partners are hot-headed to avoid conflicts. They understand that these are a part of pregnancy, so they give in. They don want their partners to be stressed out, so they just let their wife be and avoid conflicts as much as possible. They also learn how to be selfless and understand everything what their wife is going through as they accept their roles as an expectant father. Pilliterri (2010) concluded that for an expectant father, accepting the pregnancy means not only accepting the certainty of the pregnancy and the reality of a child to come but also accepting the wife in her changed state. Expectant fathers may vary feelings regarding the pregnancy.

Subtheme C: A Renewed Self Mas naging mabait ako ngayon, (Laughs) (I became nicer.) (Laughs)- Respondent 2 Ah.. (long pause) siguro mas naging maalaga, responsible at maintindihin. Dahil magiigng tatay na ko lagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na lahat ng to eh.. alam mo yun, parte ng pagtanda at magmature (Ah... (The changes are) Being more responsible and being understanding. As a soon to be father I always say to myself that all these are part of growing up and being more matured) Respondent 3 naging mapagbigay na ko at maalaga...naging parang tatay na talaga ko at mas responsible na. (Yes I am more selfless now and caring... I became more responsible and more fatherly)- Respondent 4 Mas nagmamature ako, kasi hindi ko lang kapakanan ang iniisip ko e, may baby na. Mas nagsusumikap din ako na maghanap ng trabaho at magtrabaho ng maigi ( I became matured because I have to think about my baby and I have become motivated to search for a job and work hard) Respondent 5

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING para kong naging bantay ng bahay eh. (laughs)( Ive become more of a housekeeper) Respondent 6 hmm.. mas naging maalagain ako, kasi dati siya ang umaalaga sakin e, ngayon siya na inaalagaaan ko. (laughs) Mas maunawain ako, at wala masyadong bisyo, good boy ba? (laughs) (Hmm I became more caring. Before she is taking care of me, now, I am the one who is taking care of her. I became more understanding and I have no vices, Ive been a good boy, yeah?) - Respondent 7 maraming pagbabago kasi excited na ko magkababy. Nagtatrabaho ako lalo, nagdadasal maige. (A big change because I am excited to have a baby. I work hard and prayed hard. I take care of her more for the safety of the baby.)- Respondent 8 ah.. eh mas nagsusumikap ako para magsarili, yon bang hindi na umaasa. ( I became industrious so that I dont have to ask for help from others) Respondent 9 Nung hindi pa siya buntis, nagtatrabaho nang di seryoso, pero nung nabuntis, kahit anung araw naghahanap ng paraan para may trabaho ang magandang epekto nun parang nagiging seryoso sa buhay, ganun, namulat ka sa mundo. (When she wasnt pregnant, I wasnt serious with work and finding jobs but now that she is pregnant, I find ways to work everyday. ... On the positive side I became more responsible and more mature and I was welcomed to the real world) Respondent 10 Mas nagsisipag ako.. maalaga, mas close na sa pamilya (I became more industrious, caring.. and.. much closer to the family) Respondent 11

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As expectant fathers undergo role transition, they anticipate working hard and trying their hardest to support their family. Their sense of nurture has blossomed as they learn to care for their wife. They have become more emotionally mature and accountable when it comes to the emotional changes of their wife. According to Lassally (2011), during pregnancy there is a transition from man to being a father. Though men cant bear a child, they had their biological bond and intense feeling of happiness and love through their wifes pregnancy.

THEME III: Moving Forw ard: For Better or Worse After the adaptation of the expectant father, together with his wife, shall build a strong marital relationship throughout the pregnancy and plan everything for their childs development. The expectant

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING father learns to become a family man, making himself more available at home. They also help each other in entering parenthood. Subtheme A: Open Communication Did you communicate your feelings towards each other? Oo naman. (Yes of course) Respondent 1 Oo sinasabi naman.. kung ano yung mga nararamdaman.. o di ba yung mga gusting sabihin (...yes we do tell each other what we feel, or what we need to say.) Respondent 2 Binibigay ko kahit anong gusto niya.. di naman masyadong mahirap yung mga hinihingi niya e. Saka oo, sinasabi naming yung gusto naming sabihin, o yung nararamdaman naming kasi ganun dapat ang relasyon.. (I gave her everything she wants; her demands arent that much of a problem. And yes of course, we say what we want to say to each other, or how we feel... Because...Thats how a relationship works) Respondent 3 Oo, (sighs) pero minsan ako hindi, kasi kadalasan tungkol sa nanay nya ung mga hinaing ko e. Eh siyempre.. nakikitira lang ako, kaya magtitiis nalang ako (Yes I say what I feel, but sometimes I dont because I complain about my mother-in-law. But I live in their house to I have to bear all their nagging) Respondent 5 At open kami sa isat itsa. Dapat ganun. Sinasabi niya sakin yung gusto niyang sabihin, ganoon din ako sa kanya (I just understand what she has to say or complain and support her. And we have open communication of course, thats how a relationship works. I tell her what Ive got to say and vice versa)Respondent 9 Iniintindi ko yung sinasabi at nararamdaman niya. Medyo sensitive siya kaya kailangan kong mag ingat sa mga sinasabi ko ( I just understand what she says and am open to her feelings. She is a bit sensitive so I have to watch out for everything that I say.) Respondent 10 Open naman ako lagi sa mga sinasabi nya.. pinakikinggan ko siya. ( Im always open to what she says and listen to her) Respondent 11 .saka oo, sinasabi naman namin lagi yung mg nararamdaman namin sa isat isa para walang away. (And yes, we always say what we feel towards each other to avoid conflicts.)- Respondent 11

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING The key to a successful marital relationship is open communication. Constant and open communication is evident in the relationship in most of the respondents since this is the only way they are able to express their thoughts and outlook to what they are planning and going through together. Through this, both parties can express their feelings and state of mind as they set off to pregnancy together. This would help expectant fathers to broaden their understanding as well. As Curtis & Blume (2007) stated, those expectant fathers who are able to take into account the viewpoint of their wife may be viewed more positively and be perceived as showing a greater concern for the needs, interest, and desires of the pregnant mother.

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Subtheme B: From Social Life to Family Life What happened to your social life during your wifes pregnancy? eh nagtatampo na nga minsan yung mga kaibigan ko diyan sa kapit bahay eh, di na ako nakakasama sa mga inuman. Puro kayod nalang at pag-atupag kay misis ang ginagawa eh. (laughs) (My friends even get jealous whenever I cant go out with them. Because now all I do is work and take care of my wife) Respondent 1 Dati.. happy happy lang ako eh, pero ngayon kailangan ko nang magipid ng todo, kay di na ko nakikipaginuman lagi gaya ng dati(Being happy go lucky with friends doesnt work anymore when you get your own child) Respondent 2 bihira na lang ako nakakasama sa mga kaibigan ko Sabihin na nating isang beses sa dalawang buwan? Hindi na ako umaalis at umiinom ng ganun ka dalas (I only see my friends rarely now.. lets say.. once every two months? I dont go out and drink that much anymore) Respondent 3 ah..hindi na ko nakakalabas at inom gaya ng dati.. syempre mas matimbang ang oras sa pamilya kaysa sa kanila (I dont go out and drink like before; time with family weighs more than time with friends) Respondent 4 Oo, iwas barkada muna. Lahat ng suweldo nakalaan sa asawa ko. Di na ri n ako umiinom (I don't see my friends that much because all of my earnings are intended for me and my wife. I dont get drunk anymore.)- Respondent 5 May limitasyon na.. hindi na gaano (It has limitations now.. I don go out that much.) Respondent 6

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING Ah.. siyempre, bawas inuman sa mga kaibigan. Bihira nalang. Pamilyado na ako eh. (I seldom drink beer with my friends. Now I am more of a family man) Respondent 7 Minsan sumasama ako sa kanila.... Hindi na katulad ng dati (Sometimes I would go out with my friends but not often as before)- Respondent 8 Ah.. eh wala na akong oras para makipagkita sa mga kaibigan ko. Di nga ako nakakasama sa mga birthday celebration nila e. Unahin ang dapat unahin (ahh.. eh I don't have time to meet my friends most of the time. I cant even go and celebrate their birthdays with them. Priorities come first ) Respondent 9 kase dati, nung di pa sya buntis, puro laro at computer lang sa labas kasama yung mga kaibigan, pero, simula nung buntis na siya, wala na. (In the past I always play computer games with my friends. Now I dont have the time to do that) Respondent 10 Pwede pa naman makipagkita sa mga kaibigan, pero may limitasyon na, kailangan kong umuwi ng maaga (I can still go out but with limitations. I have to go home early) Respondent 11

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Being a family man means devoting a huge amount of time to the family, especially to the pregnant mother during pregnancy. This finding is evident with the With all the responsibilities and the quality time with his wife, the respondents lessen social interactions with his friends. He may still go out and mingle, but it is not as often as before. Curtis &Blume (2007) concluded that during pregnancy, the expectant fathers extramarital activities, affairs as well as career changes diminish.

Subtheme C: Building a Strong Wall Siguro, kasi kung may pera kami di kami mag-aaway ng madalas. Pero syempre.. kinakaya namin. Inaayos namin ang problema para sa kapakanan ng buhay naming mag-asawa. (Maybe it (relationship) became stronger, because if we have money we dont have to fight more often. But we get through it of course. We solve our problems for the betterment of our newly wedded life ) Siguro.. mas tumibay, kasi kahit gaano kahirap magkasama pa din kami. (It became stronger because even if we are having a hard time, we are still together.) Respondent 1

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING Mas naging close kami at siguro masasabi kong nagmature ang relasyon namin, kasi dumaan kami sa hirap, hindi lang yung walang problema (We became closer to each other and I can say that we have grown mature with all of the hardships that we went through) Respondent 3 Tinutulungan ko na iassure siya na okay lang siya, minsan kasi nagdadoubt siya sa kalagayan ng baby, kung panget na ba siya, ganun ganun (laughs) kasi halos lahat ng problema namin dati dahil sa pera. Ngayong may ipon naman, di masyado. Bati kami lagi. (I always assure her that she is safe because sometimes she doubts if our baby is okay. She even wonder if she is getting ugly (laughs) I assure her whenever she is in doubt almost all of our problems are based on financial issues. Now that we have savings, we seldom fight.) Respondent 7 .Hindi na kasi dapat happy-go-lucky kapag may anak ka na kaya naiinspire ako magsipag kasi ayoko na umasa sa magulang at biyenan (I am really inspired to work hard because I dont want to lean on my parents and my in laws anymore.) ah.. eh mas nagsusumikap ako, kami, para magsarili, yon bang hindi na umaasa (We strive to stand on our own ground, so that we wont have to ask help from others) Respondent 9 mas naging matibay yung samahan namin, kasi kahit ano.. kahit marami kaming pinagdaanan na problema.. magkasama pa din kami (Our relationship becomes stronger because we dealt with many hardships that we thought would destroy us but no, were still together after all these years .) natutuwa kami lalo kasi andiyan kami para sa isat isa Mas close kami ngayon kasi dumedepende lang kami sa isat isa. (We appreciate each others existence greater now, because we always support each other...Were closer and wed depend on each other.) Respondent 11

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Pregnancy and gestational cravings has its own way of bonding the married couple together. It may be because of the closure that the unborn fetus brings, the quality time they spend together, how the expectant father responds to the desires and cravings of the pregnant mother or maybe how they deal with the hardships that come their way. Their marital relationship has developed to a new level. Ciriacruz (2008) stated that pregnancy and gestational cravings furthermore involve the father in the pregnancy which can make their marital relationship effective.

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING Subtheme D: Dreaming of a Bright Tomorrow At mas nagiging close kami lalo na pag pinaguusapan naming kung pano namin papalakihin yung baby namin, ganun. Pinagpaplanuhan naming maigi para sa baby namin (We are now both getting closer especially when we talk about parenting and stuff that parents do in the future. We plan things ahead for our child) Respondent 1 natututo akong maging tatay araw araw.. at mas marami pa akong matututunan. ( I am learning how to become a father every day and I will learn more soon) Respondent 1 Nageenjoy din kaming maghanda na maging mabuting nanay at tatay (We enjoy preparing for the parenthood that will come soon) Respondent 2 alam ko na hindi to nagtatapos dito.. iga-guide nmin yung anak namin sa paglaki niya, matutuo din kami na maging mabuting magulang at mas lalong matuto kung pano magpalaki ng anak (I know that this journey will never end. Soon we will guide our child in growing up and we will learn how to be good parents and improve our parenting skills.) -Respondent 2 Nagiging matibay kami kasi may matututunan kami ngayon habang lalaki pa yung baby namin (We stay strong and learn new things as our baby grows older soon) Respondent 7

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Together with the pregnant wife, the expectant father plans for the future, hoping that their child would grow healthy and sound. Each day, they prepare and learn how to become good parents for their unborn child. Some of the respondents gave their insights about their hopes for their familys future. As their relationship grows stronger, they look forward to raising their baby and be great parents to guide their child as he grows older. Andrews and Boyle (2008) supposed that the activities of the mother and of the father (to a lesser extent) can affect the babys outcome. On the other note, they also identified that cultural differences also involves beliefs about activities throughout the whole pregnancy.

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING

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5.0 Discussion Throughout the pregnancy, the expectant fathers experience is vast and complicated. They undergo transitions from being a husband to becoming a father, which requires loads of responsibilities, emotional and physical struggle, effort and financial stability. The researchers themes are based on the phases they go through during pregnancy. In the beginning, they undergo a period of adjustment since their role transition is not that fast and easy to deal with. Most of them experienced fatigue, lack/disturbed sleep, and decreased alcohol intake. Ten out of Eleven respondents said that they experienced fatigue and lack/ disturbed sleep. Causes of their fatigue are working overtime and doing extra household chores, while the causes of their lack or disturbed sleep are attending the needs of their wife, disturbance of sleep when their wife wakes up, and apprehension. Five out of eleven respondents said that since their wife got pregnant, they have decreased their alcohol intake with respect to the decrease in their social interactions with their friends. Lack of preparation after their initial joy of having a baby was evident in almost all of them. Eight out of eleven respondents whose ages range from 20-28 admitted that they were not prepared to have a baby. Most of them didnt have a stable job at the beginning of their wifes pregnancy, while some were supported by their in-laws because their income was insufficient. With their lack of preparation, conflicts arise when they were not able to provide the needs of their wife. Some of the respondents said that most of the time, financial issues were the cause of their problem. Complicated transition in becoming a father and their inexperience in having a baby brings mix of emotions. They were happy, excited, anxious, afraid, stressed and nervous at the same time. As the expectant fathers journey continues, he accepts the roles given to him as a father and starts working his way through his wifes pregnancy. They realized that they needed to work harder, and they did. All of the respondents gave what their wife desired and craved for during pregnancy, and it gave them a sense of satisfaction. Understanding and adjusting to the mothers mood swings was quite hard for them. Most of them adjusted fairly into it, and gave way for the sake of avoiding conflict and have additional stress for the both of them. Eleven out of eleven respondents said that they would just understand and listen to what their wife says. This increased their empathic capabilities and contributed to their renewed self, which Eight out of eleven respondents claimed that they became more responsible, understanding, caring, matured and selfless as they work on their role transition.

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING Following the respondents adaptation to fatherhood comes building strong foundation in their marital relationship as they face pregnancy and parenthood together. Open communication is an ingredient to a successful marital relationship. All of the respondents claim that they had an open communication with their wife, to solve problems and plan everything effectively. As they become the family man, the expectant fathers provide huge amount of time with their wife and the baby. All of the respondents stated that since their wife got pregnant, their social interaction went to a minimum. They admitted that they do not have fun with friends as much as before, and that when they do, their time is limited. More time is allotted for their family and their work. Hopes and dreams for the future are made by the expectant couples together. The respondents said that together with their wife, they wish that their baby would be healthy and that they will be greater parents as they enter the never ending journey of parenthood and that they look forward to learning new things.

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6.0 Moderatum All of the expectant fathers in the study are first time dads with a primigravida wife going through gestational cravings. Each of the respondents in the study came from all walks of life, making their experience somewhat unique. However, they all have a pregnant wife undergoing pregnancy related changes like gestational cravings, mood swings, and other physical, psychological and emotional changes.. This factor made it easier to find common themes in the fathers experience on the different phases they undergo during pregnancy. During pregnancy, the expectant fathers experienced physical changes like fatigue, due to fulfilling their responsibilities like working hard from their job, doing household chores and taking care of their wife. They also experienced lack of sleep, especially when their wife is close to the expected date of delivery because they feel anxious and nervous and had towatch over their wife. Others were woken up by their wife and had to take care of their needs. Most of them decreased their alcohol intake together with the changes in their social interactions. Emotional changes were also evident in the expectant fathers experience . They have felt emotional stress during the pregnancy, when they had to handle the mood swings of their wife. Sometimes they would get angry, but others have adapted to it and experienced emotional growth and maturity. Through this they have improved their empathic capabilities, further strengthening their marital relationship.

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING The expectant fathers had psychological changes during their wifes pregnancy and gestational cravings. They improved their sense of responsibility when they felt the need to earn more money for their wife and future baby. They said that their wifes pregnancy and gestational cravings that motivated them to become responsible, and they did. This made them to become more mature, since a great deal of responsibilities as a father awaited for them. Anxiety due to their wifes mood swings, financial matters and gestational cravings were evident, especially when they are already stressed. There was a huge psychosocial change that the expectant fathers experienced during pregnancy. As they take the role of being the head of the family, they aim to provide more time for his pregnant wife and their developing baby. This resulted to decreased extramarital interactions, like going out with their friends. Some of the fathers only focus on work and their wife, while others had the chance to go out with friends but not as often as before or on a limited amount of time. On the other hand, the expectant father became more involved in his wifes pregnancy when he responds to the needs and desires of his wife brought by her gestational cravings. This facilitated in building the fatherly image of the expectant father, which conveys his nurturing and caring side. These helped the father build a strong foundation in their relationship, leading to an effective and interdependent marital relationship.

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7.0 Reflection Based on the findings and the conclusions of the researchers, the following recommendations are drawn: 1. Couples who are keen to have a family need to prepare themselves physically, psychologically and financially, for entering the stage of pregnancy and parenthood is a complex matter, and is not all about the pregnant mother. 2. Since conflicts arise from financial instability, the expectant father should prepare for the coming of the baby. He should work hard to provide the needs of his wife and his unborn child. 3. In some cases where the pregnancy is unwanted, the father should at least support the expectant mother in her pregnancy for the sake of their baby, whatever means of support the mother needs. 4. The pregnant wife should bear in mind that during pregnancy, the husband also undergoes through a role transition. Though men cant bear a child, the transition from being a husband

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING to being a father will not be easy for them. Pregnant mothers should also empathize with their husband as they go through pregnancy together. 5. The family of the expectant couple should be there to support, teach and help the expectant father and wife so that they could make right decisions in raising their own family. 6. Nursing Students should increase their awareness regarding the experience of the expectant fathers during pregnancy and gestational cravings so that they can provide them with health teachings when exposed to the clinical or community area. 7. Health care professionals should also provide health teachings and counseling for the expectant father, since they have no experience in having a child. This would help them anticipate what is ahead of them, and help them in their responsibilities. 8. Future researchers should further explore on the experience of the expectant fathers who has repeated experiences of being a father to perceive and compare their experience with the newly expectant fathers.

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN HE IS EXPECTING References Andrews & Boyle (2008) Transcultural Concepts in Nursing Care, 3rd Edition.Williams &Wilkins. Balisnomo, R. (2003) The unseen Roles and Practices of Bicolano Fathers during their Wives Pregnancy, Childbirth and Puerperium. The National Library. Bill,C.(2007) Reasons why pregnancy makes fathers tired Retrieved from

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http://almostadad.com/2007/08/8-reasons-why-pregnancy-makes-fathers.html Burns & Grove (2007). Understanding Nursing Research, Building an Evidence-Based Practice, 4th Edition pp. 344-345, Saunders Elsevier. Ciriacruz, M. (2002).Pregnant Desires. Is there medical basis for a womans Cravings during Pregnancy? Retrieved from archive.medobserver.com/jun2002/pregnant.html Curtis, Blume et. al. (2007). Becoming a Father: Marital Perceptions and Behaviors of Father during Pregnancy.Retrieved from http://quod.lib.umich.edu/m/mfr/49harry087.0003.104 Lassally, C. (2011).What To Expect From Him When Youre ExpectingRetrieved from http://www.babble.com/pregnancy/my-pregnancy/male-brain-expecting-father-pregnancycouples-relationship/ Miranda, Ayuson et. al (2009). The Roles & Practices of Fathers During Their Wives Pregnancy & Childbirth at Area C, Sapang Palay, Bulacan

Pillitteri, A. (2010). Maternal & Child Health Nursing: Care of the Childbearing &Childrearing Family, 5th Edition pp.222, 311, Lippincott Williams & Wilkins. Rolda, R. (1997).Perceptions and Beliefs of Urban Poor Women on Reproductive Health, Philipp SocSci Rev, Abstract, Health Research and Development Information Network Library Sitzma & Eichelberger (2010). - Preview - More editions UnderstandingThe Work of Nurse Theorists: A Creative Beginning, 2nd EditionJones & Bartlett Publishers, 2010 Snarey, J. (1993). How fathers care for the next generation: A four-decade study. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press Videbeck, S. (2010). Psychiatric Mental Health Nursing, 4th Edition p.42, Lippincott Williams &Wilkins. Wilkinson, J. (2010). Why Men Tend To Gain Weight When Their Wife Is Pregnant Retrieved from http://www.helium.com/items/1844948.html

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