Leon Trotsky

My Life
(1930)
My Life was originally published in 1930 by Charles Schribners Sons, NY. Transcription and T!" #ar$up %or the Trots$y &nternet 'rchi(e by )a(id *alters in 199+. ,eaders should note that the translation uses a %or# o% written -nglish co#bining both the .ritish and the /nited States styles o% -nglish. This on0line (ersion o% My Life stays loyal to the literary structure, spelling and gra##ar o% the original (ersion published in 1930 %ro# which it was transcribed. The photos used on the table o% contents below are a(ailable along with other photos in the Trots$y &nternet 'rchi(e 1hoto 2allery.
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Foreword Preface to the Norwegian Edition (1935) I. Yanovka II. Our Neigh or! and "# Fir!t $choo% III. Ode!!a& "# Fa'i%# and "# $choo% I(. )ook! and Ear%# *onf%ict! (. *ountr# and +own (I. +he )reak (II. "# Fir!t ,evo%utionar# Organi-ation

(III. "# Fir!t Pri!on! I.. "# Fir!t E/i%e .. "# Fir!t E!c0a0e .I. 1n I''igrant for the Fir!t +i'e .II. +he Part# *ongre!! and the $0%it .III. +he ,eturn to ,u!!ia .I(. +he Year 1925

.(. +ria%3 E/i%e3 E!ca0e .(I. "# $econd Foreign E/i%e& 4er'an $ocia%i!' .(II. Pre0aring for a New ,evo%ution .(III. +he )eginning or +he 5ar .I.. Pari! and 6i''erwa%d ... "# E/0u%!ion Fro' France ..I. +hrough $0ain

..II. New York ..III. In 1 *oncentration *a'0 ..I(. In Petrograd ..(. *oncerning $%anderer! ..(I. Fro' 7u%# to Octo er ..(II. +he 8eciding Night ..(III. 9+rot!k#i!':in 191;

..I.. In Power .... In "o!cow ...I. Negotiation! at )re!t<=itov!k ...II. Peace ...III. 1 "onth at $vi#a-h!h ...I(. +he +rain ...(. +he 8efen!e of Petrograd ...(I. +he "i%itar# O00o!ition ...(II. 8i!agree'ent! Over 5ar $trateg#

...(III. +he +ran!ition to the New Econo'ic Po%ic#3 and "# ,e%ation! 5ith =enin ...I.. =enin>! I%%ne!! .=. +he *on!0irac# of the E0igone! .=I. =enin>! 8eath and the $hift of Power .=II. +he =a!t Period of $trugg%e 5ithin the Part# .=III. +he E/i%e .=I(. +he 8e0ortation .=(. +he P%anet 5ithout a (i!a

Leon Trotsky

My Life

F&!(*&!D
Our ti'e! again are rich in 'e'oir!3 0erha0! richer than ever efore. It i! ecau!e there i! 'uch to te%%. +he 'ore dra'atic and rich in change the e0och3 the 'ore inten!e the intere!t in current hi!tor#. +he art of %and!ca0e<0ainting cou%d never have een orn in the $ahara. +he 9cro!!ing? of two e0och!3 a! at 0re!ent3 give! ri!e to a de!ire to %ook ack at #e!terda#3 a%read# far awa#3 through the e#e! of it! active 0artici0ant!. +hat i! the rea!on for the enor'ou! growth in the %iterature of re'ini!cence !ince the da#! of the %a!t war. Perha0! it wi%% @u!tif# the 0re!ent vo%u'e a! we%%. +he ver# fact of it! co'ing into the wor%d i! due to the 0au!e in the author>! active 0o%itica% %ife. One of the unfore!een3 though not accidenta%3 !to0! in '# %ife ha! 0roved to e *on!tantino0%e. Aere I a' ca'0ing B ut not for the fir!t ti'e B and 0atient%# waiting for what i! to fo%%ow. +he %ife of a revo%utionar# wou%d e Cuite i'0o!!i %e without a certain a'ount of 9fata%i!'.? In one wa# or another3 the *on!tantino0%e interva% ha! 0roved the 'o!t a00ro0riate 'o'ent for 'e to %ook ack efore circu'!tance! a%%ow 'e to 'ove forward 1t fir!t I wrote cur!or# auto iogra0hica% !ketche! for the new!0a0er!3 and thought I wou%d %et it go at that. 1nd here I wou%d %ike to !a# that3 fro' '# refuge3 I wa! una %e to watch the for' in which tho!e !ketche! reached the 0u %ic. )ut ever# work ha! it! own %ogic. I did not get into '# !tride unti% I had near%# fini!hed tho!e artic%e!. +hen I decided to write a ook. I a00%ied a different and infinite%# roader !ca%e3 and carried out the who%e work anew. +he on%# 0oint in co''on etween the origina% new!0a0er artic%e! and thi! ook i! that oth di!cu!! the !a'e !u @ect. In ever#thing e%!e the# are two different 0roduct!. I have dea%t in e!0ecia% detai% with the !econd 0eriod of the $oviet revo%ution3 the eginning of which coincided with =enin>! i%%ne!! and the o0ening of the ca'0aign again!t 9+rot!k#i!'.? +he !trugg%e of the e0igone! for 0ower3 a! I !ha%% tr# to 0rove3 wa! not 'ere%# a !trugg%e of 0er!ona%itie!D it re0re!ented a new Po%itica% cha0ter B the reaction again!t Octo er3 and the 0re0aration of the +her'idor. Fro' thi! the an!wer to the that I have !o often een a!ked B 9Aow did #ou %o!e 0owerE? B fo%%ow! natura%%#. 1n auto iogra0h# of a revo%utionar# 0o%itician 'u!t inevita %# touch on a who%e !erie! of theoretica% Cue!tion! connected with the !ocia% deve%o0'ent of ,u!!ia3 and in 0art with hu'anit# a! a who%e3 ut e!0ecia%%# with tho!e critica% 0eriod! that are ca%%ed revo%ution!. Of cour!e I have not een a %e in the!e 0age! to e/a'ine co'0%icated theoretica% 0ro %e'! critica%%# in their e!!ence. +he !o<ca%%ed theor# of 0er'anent revo%ution3 which 0%a#ed !o %arge a rF%e in '# 0er!ona% %ife3 and3 what i! 'ore i'0ortant3 i! acCuiring !uch 0oignant rea%it# in the countrie! of the Ea!t3 run! through thi! ook a! a re'ote leit#oti%. If thi! doe! not !ati!f# the reader3 I can !a# that the con!ideration of the 0ro %e' of revo%ution in it! e!!ence wi%% con!titute a !e0arate ook3 in which I !ha%% atte'0t to give for' to the 0rinci0a% theoretica% conc%u!ion! of the e/0erience! of the %a!t decade!.

1! 'an# 0eo0%e 0a!! through the 0age! of '# ook3 0ortra#ed not a%wa#! in the %ight that the# wou%d have cho!en for the'!e%ve! or for their 0artie!3 'an# of the' wi%% find '# account %acking the nece!!ar# detach'ent. Even e/tract! that have een 0u %i!hed in the new!0a0er! have e%icited certain denia%!. +hat i! inevita %e. One ha! no dou t that even if I had !ucceeded in 'aking '# auto iogra0h# a 'ere daguerreotype of '# %ife B which I never intended it to e B it wou%d neverthe%e!! have ca%%ed forth echoe! of the di!cu!!ion !tarted at the ti'e # the co%%i!ion! de!cri ed in the ook. +hi! ook i! not a di!0a!!ionate 0hotogra0h of '# %ife3 however3 ut a co'0onent 0art of it. In the!e 0age!3 I continue the !trugg%e to which '# who%e %ife i! devoted. 8e!cri ing3 I a%!o characteri-e and eva%uateD narrating3 I a%!o defend '#!e%f3 and 'ore often attack. It !ee'! to 'e that thi! i! the on%# 'ethod of 'aking an auto iogra0h# o @ective in a higher !en!e3 that i!3 of 'aking it the 'o!t adeCuate e/0re!!ion of 0er!ona%it#3 condition!3 and e0och. O @ectivit# i! not the 0retended indifference with which con fir'ed h#0ocri!#3 in !0eaking of friend! and ene'ie!3 !ugge!t! indirect%# to the reader what it find! inconvenient to !tate direct%#. O @ectivit# of thi! !ort i! nothing ut a conventiona% trick. I do not need it. $ince I have !u 'itted to the nece!!it# of writing a out '#!e%f B no od# ha! a! #et !ucceeded in writing an auto iogra0h# without writing a out hi'!e%f B I can have no rea!on to hide '# !#'0athie! or anti0athie!3 '# %ove! or '# hate!. +hi! i! a ook of 0o%e'ic!. It ref%ect! the d#na'ic! of that !ocia% %ife which i! ui%t entire%# on contradiction!. +he i'0ertinence of the !choo% o# toward hi! 'a!terD the 0in<0rick! of env# in the drawing<roo'3 vei%ed # courte!ie!D the con!tant co'0etition of co''erceD the fren-ied riva%r# in a%% ranche! of 0ure and a00%ied !cience3 of art3 and !0ortD the 0ar%ia'entar# c%a!he! that revea% the dee0 o00o!ition of intere!t!D the furiou! !trugg%e that goe! on ever# da# in the new!0a0er!D the !trike! of the worker!D the !hooting down of 0artici0ant! in de'on!tration!D the 0ackage! of e/0%o!ive! that civi%i-ed neigh or! !end each other through the airD the fier# tongue! of civi% war3 a%'o!t never e/tingui!hed on our 0%anet B a%% the!e are the for'! of !ocia% 90o%e'ic!3? ranging fro' tho!e that are u!ua%3 con!tant and nor'a%3 a%'o!t unnoticed de!0ite their inten!it#3 to tho!e of war and revo%ution that are e/traordinar#3 e/0%o!ive and vo%canic. $uch i! our e0och. 5e have a%% grown u0 with it. 5e reathe it and %ive # it. Aow can we he%0 eing 0o%e'ica% if we want to e true to our 0eriod in the 'ode of the da#E )ut there i! another and 'ore e%e'entar# criterion3 one that re%ate! to 0%ain con!cientiou!ne!! in !tating fact!. 7u!t a! the 'o!t itter revo%utionar# !trugg%e 'u!t take account of ti'e and 0%ace3 the 'o!t 0o%e'ica% work 'u!t o !erve the 0ro0ortion! that e/i!t etween o @ect! and 'en. I ho0e that I have o !erved thi! de'and not on%# in it! entiret#3 ut a%!o in it! 0articu%ar!. In certain ca!e! B a%though the!e are not ver# nu'erou! B I re%ate %ong<ago conver!ation! in dia%ogue for'. No one wi%% de'and a (erbati# re0ort of conver!ation! re0eated 'an# #ear! after. Nor do I c%ai' !uch accurac#. $o'e of the!e dia%ogue! have rather a !#' o%ic character. Ever#one3 however3 ha! had 'o'ent! in hi! %ife when !o'e 0articu%ar conver!ation ha! i'0re!!ed it!e%f inde%i %# on hi! 'e'or#. One u!ua%%# re0eat! that !ort of conver!ation to one>! 0er!ona% or 0o%itica% friend!D thank! to thi!3 the# eco'e fi/ed in one>! 'e'or#. I a' thinking 0ri'ari%#3 of cour!e3 of a%% conver!ation! of a 0o%itica% nature.

I 'a# !tate here that I a' accu!to'ed to tru!t to '# 'e'or#. It! te!ti'on# ha! een !u @ected to verification # fact 'ore than once3 and it ha! !tood the te!t 0erfect%#. )ut a re!ervation i! nece!!ar#. If '# to0ogra0hic 'e'or#3 not to 'ention '# 'u!ica% one3 i! ver# weak3 and '# vi!ua% 'e'or# and '# %ingui!tic 'e'or# fair%# 'ediocre3 !ti%% '# 'e'or# of idea! i! con!idera %# a ove the average. 1nd3 'oreover3 in thi! ook idea!3 their evo%ution3 and the !trugg%e of 'en for the!e idea!3 have the 'o!t i'0ortant 0%ace. It i! true that 'e'or# i! not an auto'atic reckoner. 1 ove a%%3 it i! never di!intere!ted. Not infreCuent%# it e/0e%! or drive! into a dark corner e0i!ode! not convenient to the vita% in!tinct that contro%! it B u!ua%%# a' ition. )ut thi! i! a 'atter for 90!#choana%#tic? critici!'3 which i! !o'eti'e! ver# ingeniou! and in!tructive3 ut 'ore often ca0riciou! and ar itrar#. Need%e!! to !a#3 I have 0er!i!tent%# checked '# 'e'or# # docu'entar# evidence. 8ifficu%t a! the condition! of '# work have een3 in the u!ine!! of 'aking inCuirie! in %i rarie! or !earching out archive! I have een a %e to verif# a%% the 'ore i'0ortant fact! and date! that were needed. )eginning with 1G9;3 I have waged the fight chief%# with a 0en in '# hand. +hu! the event! of '# %ife have %eft an a%'o!t uninterru0ted trai% in 0rint over a 0eriod of thirt#<two #ear!. +he factiona% !trugg%e in the 0art#3 which egan in 19233 ha! een rich in 0er!ona% e0i!ode!. "# o00onent!3 %ike '#!e%f3 have not withhe%d %ow!. 1%% of the' have %eft their !car! in 0rint. $ince the Octo er ,evo%ution3 the hi!tor# of the revo%utionar# 'ove'ent ha! he%d an i'0ortant 0%ace in the re!earch work of #oung $oviet !cho%ar! and of entire in!titution!. Ever#thing of intere!t i! !ought out in the archive! of the revo%ution and of the *-ari!t 0o%ice de0art'ent and 0u %i!hed with detai%ed factua% co''entarie!. In the fir!t #ear!3 when there wa! a! #et no need of di!gui!ing an#thing3 thi! work wa! carried on 'o!t con!cientiou!%#. +he 9work!? of =enin and !o'e of 'ine were i!!ued # the $tate Pu %i!hing Aou!e3 with note! that took u0 do-en! of 0age! in each vo%u'e and contained inva%ua %e factua% 'ateria% concerning oth the activitie! of the author! and the event! of the corre!0onding 0eriod. 1%% thi! of cour!e faci%itated '# work3 he%0ing 'e to fi/ the correct chrono%ogica% 0attern and to avoid error! of fact3 at %ea!t the 'o!t !eriou! one!. I cannot den# that '# %ife ha! not fo%%owed Cuite the ordinar# cour!e. +he rea!on! for that are inherent in the condition! of the ti'e3 rather than in 'e. Of cour!e certain 0er!ona% trait! were a%!o nece!!ar# for the work3 good or ad3 that I 0erfor'ed. )ut under other hi!torica% condition!3 the!e 0er!ona% 0ecu%iaritie! 'ight have re'ained co'0%ete%# dor'ant3 a! i! true of !o 'an# 0ro0en!itie! and 0a!!ion! on which the !ocia% environ'ent 'ake! no de'and!. On the other hand3 other Cua%itie! toda# crowded out or !u00re!!ed 'ight have co'e to the fore. 1 ove the !u @ective there ri!e! the o @ective3 and in the fina% reckoning it i! the o @ective that decide!. "# inte%%ectua% and active %ife3 which egan when I wa! a out !eventeen or eighteen #ear! o%d3 ha! een one of con!tant !trugg%e for definite idea!. In '# 0er!ona% %ife there were no event! de !erving 0u %ic attention in the'!e%ve!. 1%% the 'ore or %e!! unu!ua% e0i!ode! in '# %ife are ound u0 with the revo%utionar# !trugg%e3 and derive their !ignificance fro' it. +hi! a%one @u!tifie! the a00earance of '# auto iogra0h#. )ut fro' thi! !a'e !ource f%ow 'an# difficu%tie! for the author. +he fact! of '# 0er!ona% %ife have 0roved to e !o c%o!e%# interwoven with the te/ture of

hi!torica% event! that it ha! een difficu%t to !e0arate the'. +hi! ook3 'oreover3 i! not a%together an hi!torica% work. Event! are treated here not according to their o @ective !ignificance3 ut according to the wa# in which the# are connected with the fact! of '# 0er!ona% %ife. It i! Cuite natura%3 then3 that the account! of !0ecific event! and of entire 0eriod! %ack the 0ro0ortion that wou%d e de'anded of the' if thi! ook were an hi!torica% work. I had to gro0e for the dividing %ine etween auto iogra0h# and the hi!tor# of the revo%ution. 5ithout a%%owing the !tor# of '# %ife to eco'e %o!t in an hi!torica% treati!e3 it wa! nece!!ar# at the !a'e ti'e to give the reader a a!e of the fact! of the !ocia% deve%o0'ent. In doing thi!3 I a!!u'ed that the 'ain out%ine! of the great event! were known to hi'3 and that a%% hi! 'e'or# needed wa! a rief re'inder of hi!torica% fact! and their !eCuence. )# the ti'e thi! ook i! 0u %i!hed3 I !ha%% have reached '# fiftieth irthda#. +he date coincide! with that of the Octo er ,evo%ution. "#!tic! and P#thagorean! 'a# draw fro' thi! what ever conc%u!ion! the# %ike. I '#!e%f noticed thi! odd coincidence on%# three #ear! after the Octo er u0ri!ing. Hnti% I wa! nine #ear! o%d I %ived in a re'ote %itt%e vi%%age. For eight #ear! I !tudied at !choo%. I wa! arre!ted for the fir!t ti'e a #ear after I %eft !choo%. For univer!itie!3 %ike 'an# other! of '# ti'e3 I had 0ri!on3 $i eria3 and foreign e/i%e. In the *-ar>! 0ri!on! I !erved four #ear! in two 0eriod!. In the *-ari!t e/i%e I !0ent a out two #ear! the fir!t ti'e3 a few week! the !econd. I e!ca0ed fro' $i eria twice. 1! a foreign i''igrant3 I %ived for a out twe%ve #ear! a%together in variou! Euro0ean countrie! and in 1'erica B two #ear! efore the revo%ution of 19253 and near%# ten #ear! after it! defeat. In 19153 during the war3 I wa! !entenced in '# a !ence to i'0ri!on'ent in Aohen-o%%ern 4er'an#D the ne/t #ear I wa! e/0e%%ed fro' France and $0ain3 and after a rief !ta# in the "adrid 0ri!on3 and a 'onth in *adi- under the !urvei%%ance of the 0o%ice3 I wa! de0orted to 1'erica. I wa! there when the Fe ruar# ,evo%ution roke out. On '# wa# fro' New York I wa! arre!ted # the )riti!h in "arch3 191;3 and detained for a 'onth in a concentration ca'0 in *anada. I took 0art in the revo%ution! of 1925 and 191;3 and I wa! the chair'an of the $t. Peter! urg $oviet of de%egate! in 19253 and again in 191;. I took an inti'ate 0art in the Octo er ,evo%ution3 and wa! a 'e' er of the $oviet govern'ent. 1! the Peo0%e>! *o''i!!ar# for foreign affair!3 I conducted 0eace negotiation! at )re!t<=itov!k with the de%egate! of 4er'an#3 1u!tria<Aungar#3 +urke# and )u%garia. 1! Peo0%e>! *o''i!!ar# for 'i%itar# and nava% affair!3 I devoted a out five #ear! to organi-ing the ,ed 1r'# and re!toring the ,ed Nav#. 8uring the #ear 19I2 I added to that the direction of the countr#>! di!organi-ed rai%wa# !#!te'. +he 'ain content of '# %ife3 however3 e/ce0t for the #ear! of the civi% war3 ha! een 0art# and %iterar# activit#. In 19I3 the $tate Pu %i!hing Aou!e egan the 0u %ication of '# co%%ected work!. It !ucceeded in ringing out thirteen vo%u'e!3 not counting the 0reviou!%# 0u %i!hed five vo%u'e! on 'i%itar# !u @ect!. Pu %ication wa! di!continued in 19I;3 when the 0er!ecution of 9+rot!k#i!'? eca'e e!0ecia%%# inten!e. In 7anuar#3 19IG3 I wa! !ent into e/i%e # the 0re!ent $oviet govern'entD I !0ent a #ear on the *hine!e frontierD in Fe ruar#3 19I93 I wa! de0orted to +urke#3 and I a' now writing the!e %ine! fro' *on!tantino0%e. Even in thi! conden!ed !#no0!i!3 the outward cour!e of '# %ife cou%d hard%# e ca%%ed 'onotonou!. On the contrar#3 counting the nu' er of turn!3 !ur0ri!e!3 !har0 conf%ict!3 u0! and

down!3 one 'ight !a# that '# %ife wa! rather fu%% of 9adventure!.? )ut I 'u!t !a# that3 # natura% inc%ination3 I have nothing in co''on with !eeker! after adventure. I a' rather 0edantic and con!ervative in '# ha it!. I %ike and a00reciate di!ci0%ine and !#!te'. Not to 0rovide a 0arado/3 ut ecau!e it i! a fact3 I 'u!t add that I cannot endure di!order or de!truction. I wa! a%wa#! an accurate and di%igent !choo% o#3 and I have 0re!erved the!e two Cua%itie! a%% '# %ife. In the #ear! of the civi% war3 when I covered # train a di!tance eCua% to !evera% ti'e! round the earth3 I wa! great%# 0%ea!ed to !ee each new fence con!tructed of fre!h%# cut 0ine oard!. =enin3 who knew thi! 0a!!ion of 'ine3 often twitted 'e a out it in a friend%# wa#. 1 we%%<written ook in which one can find new idea!3 and a good 0en with which to co''unicate one>! own idea! to other!3 for 'e have a%wa#! een and are toda# the 'o!t va%ua %e and inti'ate 0roduct! of cu%ture. +he de!ire for !tud# ha! never %eft 'e3 and 'an# ti'e! in '# %ife I fe%t that the revo%ution wa! interfering with '# !#!te'atic work. Yet a%'o!t a third of a centur# of '# con!ciou! %ife wa! entire%# fi%%ed with revo%utionar# !trugg%e. 1nd if I had to %ive it over again3 I wou%d unhe!itating%# take the !a'e 0ath. I a' o %iged to write the!e %ine! a! an i''igrant B for the third ti'e B whi%e '# c%o!e!t friend! are fi%%ing the 0%ace! of e/i%e and the 0ri!on! of that $oviet re0u %ic in who!e creating the# took !o deci!ive a 0art. $o'e of the' are vaci%%ating3 withdrawing3 owing efore the ene'#. $o'e are doing it ecau!e the# are 'ora%%# e/hau!tedD other! ecau!e the# can find no other wa# out of the 'a-e of circu'!tance!D and !ti%% other! ecau!e of the 0re!!ure of 'ateria% re0ri!a%!. I had a%read# %ived through two in!tance! of !uch 'a!! de!ertion of the anner& after the co%%a0!e of the revo%ution of 1925 and at the eginning of the 5or%d 5ar. +hu! I know we%% enough3 fro' '# own e/0erience3 the hi!torica% e and f%ow. +he# are governed # their own %aw!. "ere i'0atience wi%% not e/0edite their change. I have grown accu!to'ed to viewing the hi!torica% 0er!0ective not fro' the !tand 0oint of '# 0er!ona% fate. +o under!tand the cau!a% !eCuence of event! and to find !o'ewhere in the !eCuence one>! own 0%ace B that i! the fir!t dut# of a revo%utionar#. 1nd at the !a'e ti'e3 it i! the greate!t 0er!ona% !ati!faction 0o!!i %e for a 'an who doe! not %i'it hi! ta!k! to the 0re!ent da#. =. +rot!k#. 19I9

Leon Trotsky

My Life

Prefa+e to the 'orwe#ian (dition

(&+to,er 1- 193.)

$ource& =eon +rot!k#3 Mitt Li 3 +iden3 O!%o 1935. +ran!%ation& Fran!<1rne $t#%egar. A+"= "arku0& 7ona! Ao%'gren. Proofreader& Einde O>*a%%aghan. Pu %ic 8o'ain& "ar/i!t! Internet 1rchive (I22;). You 'a# free%# co0#3 di!tri ute3 di!0%a# and 0erfor' thi! workD a! we%% a! 'ake derivative and co''ercia% work!. P%ea!e credit Mar/ists 0nternet Ar+hi e a! #our !ource.

I write the!e %ine! in Norwa# or3 'ore !0ecifica%%#3 in the co''unit# ho!0ita% in O!%o. 1 !ur0ri!ing cha0terJ One can often 0redict great hi!torica% event!3 ut it i! difficu%t to 0redict one>! own de!tin#. I reco%%ect one !ituation& 1fter the French govern'ent had e/0e%%ed 'e fro' France to $0ain ecau!e of '# in!ufficient 0atriotic enthu!ia!' for the t!ar and the Entente3 I wa! without an# rea!on what!oever arre!ted # the govern'ent of 1%fon! .IIID a! I %a# on the ench in "adrid>! 9'ode%? 0ri!on I a!ked '#!e%f3 %aughing& how and wh# had I ended u0 hereE 1 !ur0ri!ing cha0terJ )ut the !eriou! an!wer i!& Aowever ca0riciou! the cour!e of '# 0er!ona% %ife 'a# !ee'3 in the fina% in!tance it i! !ha0ed under the inf%uence of weight# hi!torica% factor! !uch a! war3 revo%ution and counter<revo%ution. One ha! to acce0t one>! de!tin# a! it i! eing forged # the ha''er of hi!tor# ... 1nd it i! no e/aggeration when I !a# that with a ook in hand I fe%t @u!t a! confident a! a #ear or a #ear and a ha%f %ater in the $'o%n# or the Kre'%in. 1%'o!t twent# #ear! have 0a!!ed !ince then& Cuite a 0eriod in a !ing%e 0er!on>! %ife B e!0ecia%%# when one con!ider! that tho!e ver# two decade! have een fi%%ed with huge ha00ening! in the hi!tor# of the who%e of hu'anit#. )ut through a%% vici!!itude! and u0heava%! I have ha00i%# 'anaged to kee0 '# inc%ination and readine!! to %augh at the anno#ance! of '# 0er!ona% %ife intact. 1nd the fact that I now3 a! the 1Gth anniver!ar# of the Octo er revo%ution a00roache!3 %ie i%% in the Norwegian ca0ita%3 can %ea!t of a%% 'ake 'e fee% 9offended? # the cour!e of hi!tor# or de%ude 'e into co'0%aining a out '# 0er!ona% %ot. +rue3 the tran!ition fro' the 0re!ent3 definitive%# ankru0t !ocia% !#!te' to a new and 'ore har'oniou! one i! 'uch !%ower than I had e%ieved and wi!hed forD the con!ervati!' and gu%%i i%it# of the 'a!!e!3 the du%%ne!! and trea!on of their %eader! ha! thrown hu'anit# ackward and i! de'anding innu'era %e further !acrifice! B ut the victor# of the new !ociet# i! certain3 and that i! the 'ain 0oint. 3ais ce 4ue doit, ad(ienne 4ue pourra ... L8o what #ou have to3 co'e what 'a# ...M

***
"# fir!t e/i%e wa! !o !hort (Octo er 1923<Fe ruar# 1925) that it are%# Cua%ifie! a! an e/i%e at a%%& etween two 0eriod! of underground work3 etween two 0ri!on ter'! and two ani!h'ent! in +!ari!t ,u!!ia3 a #oung revo%utionar# !i'0%# !0ent one and a ha%f #ear! in 5e!tern Euro0e3 where fro' a circ%e of !ea!oned N'igrN! fro' two generation! (P%ekhanov and 1/e%rod3 =enin and "artov) he %earnt "ar/i!' and revo%utionar# 0o%itic!. "# !econd e/i%e %a!ted for ten #ear!. It coincided with the dark and dee0 reactionar# retreat etween the two ,u!!ian revo%ution! (1925 and 191;). +he %atter 0ha!e of thi! e/i%e !tretche! into the war #ear! with their chauvini!tic divi!ion! and 0oi!oning!3 which werre a 'a@or !et ack for the wor%d 0ro%etariat.

"# third e/i%e egan in 7anuar# 19I93 fo%%owing a #ear of interna% e/i%e in *entra% 1!ia3 and ha! now %a!ted for a%'o!t !even #ear!. +hi! 0eriod i! characteri!ed # the terri %e !har0ening of ca0ita%i!t contradiction! a%% over the wor%d3 # the growth and advance of fa!ci!'3 # the heav# %o!!e! of the Euro0ean 0ro%etariat (4er'an#3 1u!tria3 $0ain). +here i! nothing accidenta% a out the!e 0ara%%e%! etween the 0eriodi!ation of '# 0er!ona% %ife and that of hi!tor#>! deve%o0'ent. +he de!tin# of 'an# revo%utionar# generation!3 not on%# in ,u!!ia ut in ever# countr# that ha! e/0erienced 'a@or !ocia% u0heava%! ha! fo%%owed thi! curve& fro' 0ri!on and e/i%e to 0ower3 and fro' 0ower to 0ri!on and e/i%e. )ut thi! inevita %# rai!e! one o @ection& In the $oviet Hnion the counter<revo%ution ha!3 after a%%3 not een victoriou!D there the 0re!ent !ocia% deve%o0'ent i! taking 0%ace on the a!i! created # the Octo er revo%ution. )ut it wa! fro' thi! ver# !a'e $oviet Hnion3 which the author of thi! ook had he%0ed create3 that he had to %eave for hi! third e/i%e. Aow can he e/0%ain thi! contradictionE +here i! nothing enig'atic a out it. +he ca0ita%i!t counter<revo%ution ha! not !ucceeded in the $oviet Hnion3 that i! true enough. On%# ver# !hort<!ighted 0eo0%e or tho!e direct%# invo%ved can over%ook the dee0 degeneration which the 0art# that carried through the victoriou! Octo er revo%ution and the !tate that the victoriou! working c%a!! created have undergone during the %a!t ten or twe%ve #ear!. Over the $oviet !tate a bureacracy now ru%e!. It ha! co%%ected in it! own hand! un%i'ited 0ower and innu'era %e 'ateria% 0rivi%ege!. Incidenta%%#3 it wou%d have een ver# in!tructive to ca%cu%ate the 0art of the nationa% inco'e eing devoured # the ru%ing3 0rivi%eged ca!teD ut the!e !tati!tic! e%ong to the great !tate !ecret!. 1! it definitive%# freed it!e%f fro' the contro% of the 'a!!e! and ro!e u0 a ove the co''unit# of a working c%a!! dec%ared inca0a %e of 'anaging their own affair!3 the ureaucrac# unavoida %# had to cr#!ta%%i!e fro' it! own rank! a chief ar itrator3 a !ea%er of de!tinie!3 an a !o%ute and infa%%i %e 9%eader?. In thi! thorough%# #-antine ideo%og# the ureaucrac#>! de'and to 0%a# the ro%e of the eterna%3 irre'ova %e and we%%<0aid %ega% guardian of the 0eo0%e find! it! highe!t ('ore 0ro0er%#& %owe!t) e/0re!!ion. )ut thi! en%ightened a !o%uti!' ha! nothing in co''on3 and cannot have an#thing in co''on with a worker!> !tate3 not to 'ention with 9the c%a!!%e!!3 !ocia%i!t !ociet#?. +he technica%3 econo'ic and cu%tura% conCue!t! of the $oviet !tate are indeed 'agnificent. +hi! i! an indi!0uta %e fact. +he!e re!u%t! were acco'0%i!hed through the nationa%i!ation of the 'ean! of 0roduction and the heroic !acrifice! of the working 'a!!e!. )ut on%# the !o<ca%%ed 9friend! of the $oviet Hnion? (in rea%it# the friend! of the ureaucratic $oviet chief!) can e%ieve that !ocia%i!t con!truction 'u!t re%# on 0er!ona% dictator!hi03 on a regi'e of ureaucratic irre!0on!i i%it#3 and on the 'erci%e!! o00re!!ion of the thought and critici!' of the advanced worker!. In rea%it# the )ona0arti!t ar itrarine!!3 which fo%%ow! fro' the !trugg%e of the ureacrac# to kee0 it! 0o!ition3 i! !teadi%# co'ing into !tronger and !har0er conf%ict with the condition! necce!!ar# for the con!truction of the new !ociet#. +hrough it! !en!e of untena i%it# of it! own 0o!ition again!t the 'a!! of the 0eo0%e3 which econo'ica%%# and cu%tura%%# i! eco'ing 0rogre!!ive%# !tronger3 the ureaucrac# ha! introduced into it! own circ%e! a !#!te' of reci0roca% a!!urance and 'erci%e!!%# conde'n! an# od# who dare! dou t that it! u!ur0ed 0rivi%ege! are of divine ...3 na#3 of 9revo%utionar#? origin. +hu! the furiou! o00re!!ion of the ten! of thou!and! of o%der and #ounger revo%utionarie! who re'ain faithfu% to the anner of the

Octo er revo%ution. In thi! !en!e I can !a# that '# third e/i%e 0ara%%e%! the dee0 ureaucratic reaction in the $oviet Hnion. On%# a few da#! ago Le Te12s3 the %eading organ of the French ourgeoi!ie3 wrote on the occa!ion of the reintroduction of 'i%itar# rank! in the ,ed 1r'#& 9+he outer change i! one of the characteri!tic! of the thoroughgoing change! current%# taking 0%ace in the who%e $oviet Hnion. +he new%# !ecured regi'e i! !tarting to take !o%id !ha0e. ,evo%utionar# ha it! and cu!to'! are retreating3 in the fa'i%# a! we%% a! in !ociet#3 efore va%ue! and 0ractice! that !ti%% do'inate in the !o<ca%%ed ca0ita%i!t countrie!. +he $oviet! are getting 'ore and 'ore ourgeoi! (les so(5ets se#bourgeoisent)? (Le Te12s3 $e0te' er I53 1935). +hi! !tate'ent fro' a !eriou!3 carefu% and thorough%# con!ervative 0a0er need! no co''ent. $tate'ent! %ike thi! occur # the thou!and. +he# !how inconte!ta %# that the ourgeoi! degeneration a'ong the heads of $oviet !ociet# ha! advanced ver# far. 1t the !a'e ti'e the# 0rove that the further deve%o0'ent of the $oviet Hnion i! unthinka %e without freeing the !ocia%i!t a!e of !ociet# of it! ourgeoi!< ureaucratic and ona0arti!t !u0er!tructure. Aere3 in a few word!3 i! the rea!on for '# third e/i%e ... For four and a ha%f #ear I %ived with '# wife3 '# !tead# co'rade<in<ar'! and trave%<'ate3 in +urke# on the i!%and of Prinki0oD then two #ear! in FranceD and fina%%# the %a!t 'onth! in Norwa#.

***
)efore fini!hing thi! 0reface I cannot avoid 'entioning that '# !ta# at H%%evO% ho!0ita% ha! given 'e an une/0ected and rare o00ortunit# to 'eet a 0articu%ar categor# of Norwegian!& doctor!3 nur!e!3 fe'a%e and 'a%e nur!ing !tudent!. In a%% the!e 0eo0%e I have encountered nothing ut attentivene!!3 co'0a!!ion3 and !traightforward3 !incere hu'anit#. I wi%% forever re'e' er and cheri!h '# !ta# at H%%evO% ho!0ita%. On the ta %e where I a' writing the!e %ine! %ie! one of the ho!0ita%>! i %e! in Norwegian. +hirt#< !even #ear! ago I had on '# ta %e in the !o%itar# ce%% of Ode!!a 0ri!on B I had not #et reached '# twentieth irthda# B the !a'e ook written in different Euro0ean %anguage!. )# co'0aring the 0ara%%e% te/t! I 0racticed %ingui!tic! B the !t#%e of the go!0e% and the conci!ene!! of the tran!%ation! 'ake the %earning of foreign %anguage! ea!ier. Hnfortunate%#3 I cannot 0ro'i!e an# od# that '# new encounter with the o%d and we%%<known ook wi%% contri ute to the !a%vation of '# !ou%. )ut reading the Norwegian i %e te/t can nonethe%e!! he%0 'e %earning the %anguage of the countr# which ha! offered 'e it! ho!0ita%it#3 and who!e %iterature I a%read# in #ounger #ear! %earnt to trea!ure and %ove. O!%o *o''unit# Ao!0ita% Octo er 13 1935 =. +rot!k#

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! 0

4A'&V5A
*hi%dhood i! %ooked u0on a! the ha00ie!t ti'e of %ife. I! that a%wa#! trueE No3 on%# a few have a ha00# chi%dhood. +he idea%i-ation of chi%dhood originated in the o%d %iterature of the 0rivi%eged. 1 !ecure3 aff%uent3 and unc%ouded chi%dhood3 !0ent in a ho'e of inherited wea%th and cu%ture3 a chi%dhood of affection and 0%a#3 ring! ack to one 'e'orie! of a !unn# 'eadow at the eginning of the road of %ife. +he grandee! of %iterature3 or the 0%e eian! who g%orif# the grandee!3 have canoni-ed thi! 0ure%# ari!tocratic view of chi%dhood. )ut the 'a@orit# of the 0eo0%e3 if it %ook! ack at a%%3 !ee!3 on the contrar#3 a chi%dhood of darkne!!3 hunger and de0endence. =ife !trike! the weak B and who i! weaker than a chi%dE "# chi%dhood wa! not one of hunger and co%d. "# fa'i%# had a%read# achieved a co'0etence at the ti'e of '# irth. )ut it wa! the !tern co'0etence of 0eo0%e !ti%% ri!ing fro' 0overt# and having no de!ire to !to0 ha%f<wa#. Ever# 'u!c%e wa! !trained3 ever# thought !et on work and !aving!. $uch a do'e!tic routine %eft ut a 'ode!t 0%ace for the chi%dren. 5e knew no need3 ut neither did we know the genero!itie! of %ife B it! care!!e!. "# chi%dhood doe! not a00ear to 'e %ike a !unn# 'eadow3 a! it doe! to the !'a%% 'inorit#D neither doe! it a00ear %ike a dark cave of hunger3 vio%ence and 'i!er#3 a! it doe! to the 'a@orit#. "ine wa! the gra#i!h chi%dhood of a %ower<'idd%e<c%a!! fa'i%#3 !0ent in a vi%%age in an o !cure corner where nature i! wide3 and 'anner!3 view! and intere!t! are 0inched and narrow. +he !0iritua% at'o!0here which !urrounded '# ear%# #ear! and that in which I 0a!!ed '# %ater3 con!ciou! %ife are two different wor%d!3 divided not on%# in ti'e and !0ace # decade! and # far countrie!3 ut # the 'ountain chain! of great event! and # tho!e inner %and!%ide! which are %e!! o viou! ut are fu%%# a! i'0ortant to one>! individua%it#. 5hen I fir!t egan to draft the!e 'e'oir!3 it often !ee'ed to 'e a! if I were not writing of '# own chi%dhood ut of a %ong<0a!t @ourne# into a di!tant %and. I even atte'0ted to write '# !tor# in the third 0er!on3 ut thi! conventiona% for' a%% too ea!i%# !'ack! of fiction3 which i! !o'ething that I !hou%d want to avoid at a%% co!t!. In !0ite of the contradiction etween the!e two wor%d!3 the unit# of the 0er!ona%it# 0a!!e! through hidden channe%! fro' one wor%d into the other. +hi!3 genera%%# !0eaking3 account! for the intere!t that 0eo0%e take in the iogra0hie! and auto iogra0hie! of tho!e who3 for one rea!on or another3 have occu0ied a !o'ewhat 'ore !0aciou! 0%ace in the %ife of !ociet#. I !ha%% therefore tr# to te%% the !tor# of '# chi%dhood in !o'e detai%3 B without antici0ating and 0redeter'ining the future3 that i!3 without !e%ecting the fact! to !uit 0reconceived genera%itie! B !i'0%# narrating what occurred a! it i! 0re!erved in '# 'e'or#.

1t ti'e! it ha! !ee'ed to 'e that I can re'e' er !uck%ing at '# 'other>! rea!tD 0ro a %# I a00%# to '#!e%f on%# what I have !een in the #ounger chi%dren. I have a di' reco%%ection of a !cene under an a00%e<tree in the garden which took 0%ace when I wa! a #ear and a ha%f o%d3 ut that 'e'or# too i! dou tfu%. "ore !ecure%# do I re'e' er another event& I a' with '# 'other in )o rinet-3 vi!iting the 6. fa'i%#3 where there i! a %itt%e gir% of two or three. I a' the ridegroo'3 the %itt%e gir% i! the ride. +he chi%dren are 0%a#ing on the 0ainted f%oor of the 0ar%orD the %itt%e gir% fade! awa#D the %itt%e o# i! !tanding da-ed and 0etrified e!ide a che!t of drawer!. Ai! 'other and the ho!te!! co'e in. Ai! 'other %ook! at the o#3 then at the 0udd%e e!ide hi'3 and then at the o# again3 !hake! her head re0roachfu%%# and !a#!& 91ren>t #ou a!ha'ed of #our!e%fE? +he o# %ook! at hi! 'other3 at hi'!e%f3 and at the 0udd%e3 a! if it a%% had nothing whatever to do with hi'. 9Never 'ind3? the ho!te!! !a#!3 9the chi%dren have 0%a#ed too %ong.? +he %itt%e o# fee%! neither !ha'e nor re0entance. Aow o%d wa! he thenE 1 out two #ear!3 0o!!i %# three. It wa! a out thi! ti'e that I ran into a 0oi!onou! !nake whi%e wa%king in the garden with '# nur!e. 9=ook3 =#ovaJ? L1M !he cried3 0ointing to a right o @ect in the gra!!. 9Aere i! a !nuff< o/ uried in the groundJ? "# nur!e took a !tick and egan to dig it out. $he her!e%f wa! not 'ore than !i/teen #ear! o%d. +he !nuff< o/ uncoi%ed it!e%f3 !tretched into a !nake3 and3 hi!!ing3 egan to craw% in the gra!!. 91iJ 1iJ? !crea'ed '# nur!e3 and3 catching 'e # the hand3 ran Cuick%#. It wa! hard for 'e to 'ove '# %eg! fa!t enough. *hoking with e/cite'ent3 I to%d afterward of our finding in the gra!! a !nuff< o/ which turned into a !nake. I re'e' er another ear%# !cene that took 0%ace in our 'ain kitchen. Neither '# father nor '# 'other i! at ho'e. +he cook and the 'aid and their gue!t! are there. "# o%der rother3 1%e/ander3 who i! at ho'e for the ho%ida#!3 i! a%!o u--ing a out3 !tanding on a wooden !hove%3 a! if on a 0air of !ti%t!3 and dancing on it acro!! the earthen f%oor. I eg '# rother to %et 'e have the !hove%3 and tr# to c%i' u0 on it3 ut I fa%% down and cr#. "# rother 0ick! 'e u03 ki!!e! 'e3 and carrie! 'e out of the kitchen in hi! ar'!. I 'u!t have een a out four #ear! o%d when !o'e one 0ut 'e on the ack of a ig gra# 'are a! gent%e a! a !hee03 with neither rid%e nor !add%e3 on%# a ro0e ha%ter. I !0read '# %eg! wide a0art and he%d on to the 'ane with oth hand!. +he 'are Cuiet%# took 'e to a 0ear<tree and wa%ked under a ranch3 which caught 'e acro!! the 'idd%e. Not rea%i-ing what the 'atter wa!3 I !%id over the 'are>! ru'03 and hit the gra!!. I wa! not hurt3 on%# 0u--%ed. I had a%'o!t no read#<'ade to#! in '# chi%dhood. Once3 however3 '# 'other rought 'e a card oard hor!e and a a%% fro' Kharkoff. "# #ounger !i!ter and I 0%a#ed with do%%! which we 'ade our!e%ve!. Once 1unt Fen#a and 1unt ,ai!a3 '# father>! !i!ter!3 'ade !o'e rag do%%! for u! and 1unt Fen#a 'arked their e#e!3 no!e! and 'outh! with a 0enci%. +he do%%! !ee'ed re'arka %e to 'eD I can re'e' er the' to thi! da#. One winter evening our 'echanic3 Ivan (a!i%#evich3 cut 'arked their e#e!3 no!e! and 'outh! with a 0enci%. +he do%%! !ee'ed re'arka %e to 'eD I can re'e' er the' to thi! da# One winter evening our 'echanic3 Ivan (a!i%#evich3 cut a %itt%e rai%wa#<car with whee%! and window! out of card oard and 0a!ted it

together. "# o%der rother3 at ho'e for *hri!t'a!3 in!tant%# announced that he cou%d 'ake a car too3 in no ti'e. Ae egan # 0u%%ing '# car to 0iece!D then he ar'ed hi'!e%f with a ru%er3 0enci% and !ci!!or!3 and drew for a %ong ti'e. )ut when he cut out what he had drawn there wa! no rai%wa#<car. Our re%ative! and friend!3 when going to town3 wou%d !o'eti'e! a!k what I wanted fro' E%i-avetgrad or Niko%a#ev. "# e#e! wou%d !hine. 5hat !hou%d I a!k forE +he# wou%d co'e to '# he%0. One wou%d !ugge!t a to# hor!e3 another ook!3 another co%oured cra#on!3 another a 0air of !kate!. P I want ha%f<Aa%ifa/ !kate!J> I wou%d cr#3 having heard thi! e/0re!!ion fro' '# rother. )ut the# wou%d forget their 0ro'i!e! a! !oon a! the# had cro!!ed the thre!ho%d. I %ived in ho0e for !evera% week!3 and then !uffered a %ong di!a00oint'ent. 1 ee !it! on a !unf%ower in the garden. )ecau!e ee! !ting and 'u!t e hand%ed with care3 I 0ick u0 a urdock %eaf and with it !ei-e the ee etween two finger!. 1 a' !udden%# 0ierced # an unendura %e 0ain. I run !crea'ing acro!! the #ard to the 'achine<!ho03 where Ivan (a!i%#evich 0u%%! out the !ting and !'ear! a hea%ing %iCuid on '# finger. Ivan (a!i%#evich ad a @ar fu%% of !unf%ower<oi% in which tarantu%a! were f%oating. +hi! wa! con!idered the e!t cure for !ting!. (ictor 4herto0anov and I together u!ed to catch the!e tarantu%a!. +o do thi!3 we wou%d fa!ten a 0iece of wa/ to a thread and dro0 it into one of their urrow!. +he tarantu%a wou%d !ei-e the wa/ in it! c%aw! and !tick tight. 5e then had on%# to draw it out and catch it in an e'0t# 'atch< o/. +he!e tarantu%a hunt!3 however3 'u!t have e%onged to a %ater 0eriod. I re'e' er a conver!ation on a %ong winter evening during which '# e%der! di!cu!!ed over their tea when it wa! that Yanovka had een ought3 how o%d !uch and !uch a chi%d wa! at the ti'e3 and when Ivan (a!i%#evich had co'e to work for u!. "# 'other !0eak!3 g%ancing !%#%# at 'e& P5e rought =#ova here fro' the far' a%% read# 'ade.> I tr# to rea!on that out for '#!e%f3 and fina%%# !a# a%oud& :+hen I wa! orn oi% the far'E> PNo3> the# an!wer 'e3 P#ou were orn here at Yanovka.> P+hen wh# did "other !a# that #ou rought 'e here read# 'adeE> >"other wa! @u!t @okingJ> )ut I a' not !ati!fied3 and I think it i! a Cueer @oke. I ho%d '# 0eace3 however3 for I notice that 0articu%ar !'i%e that I never can ear on the face! of the o%der initiate!. It i! fro' the!e reco%%ection! e/changed at %ei!ure over our winter tea that a certain chrono%og# e'erge!& I wa! orn on IQ Octo er. "# 0arent! 'u!t have 'oved fro' the %itt%e far' to Yanovka either in the !0ring or !u''er of 1G;9. +he #ear of '# irth wa! the #ear of the fir!t d#na'ite a!!au%t! again!t +!ari!'. +he recent%# for'ed terrori!t 0art#3 the PPeo0%e>! 5i%%>3 had on IQ 1ugu!t 1G;93 two 'onth! efore '# a00earance in the wor%d3 0ronounced the death !entence on 1%e/ander II. 1nd on 19 Nove' er an atte'0t wa! 'ade to d#na'ite the +!ar>! train. +he o'inou! !trugg%e which %ed to the a!!a!!ination of 1%e/ander II on 1 "arch 1GG13 and at the !a'e ti'e re!u%ted in the annihi%ation of the PPeo0%e>! 5i%%>3 wa! @u!t eginning.

+he ,u!!o<+urki!h 5ar had ended the #ear efore. In 1ugu!t 1G;9 )i!'arck %aid the foundation! of the 1u!tro<4er'anic 1%%iance. In thi! #ear 6o%a rought out hi! nove%3 Nona3 in which the future originator of the Entente3 then on%# the Prince of 5a%e!3 wa! introduced a! a refined connoi!!eur of 'u!ica%<co'ed# !tar!. +he wind of reaction which had ri!en after the Franco<Pru!!ian 5ar and the fa%% of the Pari! *o'<'une wa! !ti%% %owing !trong%# through the 0o%itic! of Euro0e. $ocia% 8e'ocrac# in 4er'an# had a%read# fa%%en under )i!<'arck>! di!cri'inator# %egi!%ation. In 1G;9 (ictor Augo and =oui! )%anc de'anded in the French *ha' er of 8e0utie! an a'ne!t# for the *o''unard!. )ut neither the echoe! of 0ar%ia'entar# de ate! nor tho!e of di0%o'atic event!3 not even tho!e of the e/0%o!ion! of d#na'ite3 cou%d e heard in the vi%%age of Yanovka where I fir!t !aw the %ight3 and where I !0ent the fir!t nine #ear! of '# %ife. On the ound%e!! !te00e! of Kher!on and of a%% $outh ,u!!ia wa! a kingdo' of wheat and !hee03 %iving # %aw! a%% it! own. It wa! fir'%# guarded again!t the inva!ion of 0o%itic! # it! great o0en !0ace! and the a !ence of road!. On%# the nu'erou! arrow! on the !te00e! re'ained a! %and'ark! of the great 'igration of nation!. "# father wa! a far'er3 fir!t on a !'a%% !ca%e and %ater on a %arger one. 1! a %itt%e o#3 he had %eft with hi! 0arent! the 7ewi!h town in the Province of Po%tava3 where he had een orn3 when the# went to !eek their fortune on the free !te00e! of the $outh. +here were at that ti'e a out fort# 7ewi!h agricu%tura% co%onie! in the 0rovince! of Kher!on and Ekaterino!%av3 with a tota% 0o0u%ation of a out I53222 !ou%!. +he 7ewi!h far'er! were on an eCua% footing with the other 0ea!ant! not on%# a! regard! their %ega% right! (unti% 1GG1)3 ut a%!o a! regard! their 0ro0ert#. )# indefatiga %e3 crue% toi% that !0ared neither hi'!e%f nor other!3 and # hoarding ever# 0enn#3 '# father ro!e in the wor%d. +he regi!tration ook wa! not ke0t ver# accurate%# in the co%on# of 4ro'ok%e#3 and 'an# entrie! were 'ade after the date of the event! recorded. 5hen the ti'e ca'e for 'e to enter high !choo%3 it a00eared that I wa! !ti%% too #oung for ad'i!!ion. +he #ear of '# irth wa! then changed in the irth certificate fro' 1G;9 to 1G;GD !o I a%wa#! had two record!3 '# officia% age and the one o !erved # '# fa'i%#. For the fir!t nine #ear! of '# %ife I hard%# !tuck '# no!e out!ide '# native vi%%age. It! na'e3 Yanovka3 ca'e fro' the na'e of the %and%ord Yanov!k#3 fro' who' the e!tate had een ought. +he o%d 0ro0rietor3 Yanov!k#3 had ri!en fro' the rank! to a *o%one%3 had won the favor of the 0ower! that e in the reign of 1%e/ander II3 and had een given the choice of one thou!and acre! of %and on the uninha ited !te00e! of the 0rovince of Kher!on. Ae ui%t hi'!e%f a 'ud hut thatched with !traw3 and eCua%%# crude far'< ui%ding!. )ut hi! far'ing did not 0ro!0er3 and after the *o%one%>! death hi! fa'i%# 'oved to Po%tava. "# father ought over two hundred and fift# acre! of %and fro' Yanov!k# and %ea!ed a out four hundred 'ore. I re'e' er the *o%one%>! widow we%%. $he wa! a dried<u0 %itt%e o%d wo'an who ca'e once or twice a #ear to co%%ect her rent fro' u! and to !ee that ever#thing wa! in order. 5e wou%d !end our !0ring wagon to 'eet her at the !tation and ring a chair to the front !te0! to 'ake it ea!ier for her to a%ight. +he 0haeton 'ade it! a00earance at '# father>! %ater3 after he had acCuired driving !ta%%ion!. +he *o%one%>! widow wou%d e !erved chicken oui%%on and !oft< oi%ed egg!. 5a%king with '# !i!ter in the garden3 !he wou%d !cratch the re!in fro' the fence<0o!t! with her !hrive%ed finger!3 and a!!ure her that it wa! the 'o!t de%icate !weet'eat in the wor%d.

"# father>! cro0! increa!ed3 a! did the herd! of catt%e and hor!e!. +here wa! even an atte'0t to kee0 "erino !hee03 ut the venture wa! un!ucce!!fu%D on the other hand there were 0%ent# of 0ig!. +he# wandered free%# a%% over the 0%ace3 rooted ever#where3 and co'0%ete%# de!tro#ed the garden. +he e!tate wa! 'anaged with care3 ut in an o%d<fa!hioned wa#. One 'ea!ured 0rofit or %o!! with the e#e. For that ver# rea!on3 it wou%d have een difficu%t to fi/ the e/tent of father>! fortune. 1%% of hi! !u !tance wa! a%wa#! either in the ground3 or in the cro0 a ove3 or in the !tock! on hand3 which were either in in! or on their wa# to a 0ort. $o'eti'e! in the 'id!t of tea or !u00er '# father wou%d !udden%# e/c%ai'& 9*o'e3 write thi! downJ I have received thirteen hundred rou %e! fro' the co''i!!ion 'erchant. I gave the *o%one%>! widow !i/ hundred3 and four hundred to 8e' ov!k#. Put down3 too3 that I gave +heodo!ia 1ntonovna one hundred rou %e! when I wa! in E%i-avetgrad %a!t !0ring.? +hat i! a out the wa# he ke0t hi! ook!. Neverthe%e!!3 '# father !%ow%# ut o !tinate%# ke0t c%i' ing u0ward. 5e %ived in the %itt%e 'ud hou!e that the *o%one% had ui%t. +he !traw roof har ored count%e!! !0arrow!> ne!t! under the eave!. +he wa%%! on the out!ide were !ea'ed with dee0 crack! which were a reeding<0%ace for adder!. $o'eti'e! the!e adder! were 'i!taken for 0oi!onou! !nake!3 and oi%ing water fro' the !a'ovar went into the crack!3 ut to no avai%. +he %ow cei%ing! %eaked during a heav# rain3 e!0ecia%%# in the ha%%3 and 0ot! and a!in! wou%d e 0%aced on the dirt f%oor to catch the water. +he roo'! were !'a%%3 the window! di'D the f%oor! in the two edroo'! and the nur!er# were of c%a#3 and red f%ea!. +he dining<roo' oa!ted a wooden f%oor which wa! ru ed once a week with #e%%ow !and. )ut the f%oor in the 'ain roo'3 which wa! !o%e'n%# na'ed the 0ar%or3 though on%# a out eight 0ace! %ong3 wa! 0ainted. +he *o%one%>! widow !ta#ed here. Ye%%ow acacia!3 red and white ro!e!3 and in !u''er a c%i' ing vine3 grew around the hou!e. +he court#ard wa! not fenced in at a%%. 1 ig 'ud hou!e with a ti%e roof3 which '# father had ui%t3 contained the 'achine<!ho03 the 'ain kitchen3 and the !ervant!> Cuarter!. Ne/t to it !tood the 9%itt%e? wooden arn and e#ond that the 9 ig? arn. )e#ond that again ca'e the 9new? arn. 1%% were thatched with reed!. +he arn! were rai!ed u0on !tone! !o that water trick%ing under the' wou%d not 'o%d the grain. In hot or co%d weather the dog!3 0ig! and chicken! wou%d take refuge under the arn!. +here the hen! found a Cuiet 0%ace to %a# their egg!. I u!ed to fetch out the egg!3 craw%ing in a'ong the !tone! on '# !to'achD the !0ace wa! too !'a%% for a grown 0er!on to !Cuee-e into. $tork! wou%d ne!t ever# #ear on the roof of the 9 ig? arn. +he# wou%d rai!e their red i%%! to heaven a! the# !wa%%owed adder! and frog! B a terri %e !ightJ +heir odie! wou%d wrigg%e fro' their i%%! downward3 and it %ooked a! if the !nake were eating the !tork fro' the in!ide. +he arn!3 divided into in!3 he%d fre!h<!'e%%ing wheat3 rough<0rick%# ar%e#3 !'ooth3 a%'o!t %iCuid f%a/!eed3 the %ue< %ack ead! of the winter ra0e3 and %ight3 !%ender oat!. 5hen the chi%dren 0%a#ed at hide<and<!eek3 the# were a%%owed3 on occa!ion! when there were !0ecia% gue!t!3 to hide in the arn!. *raw%ing over one of the 0artition! into a in3 I wou%d !cra' %e u0 the 'ound of wheat and !%i0 down on the other !ide. "# ar'! wou%d e uried to the e% ow! and '# %eg! to the knee! in the !%iding 'a!! of wheat3 and '# !hirt and !hoe!3 too often torn3 wou%d e fi%%ed with grainD the door of the arn wou%d e !hut3 and !o'e one3 for the !ake of a00earance!3 wou%d hang a 0ad%ock on the out!ide without !na00ing it3 ac cording to the ru%e! of the ga'e. I wou%d e %#ing in the coo% arn3 uried in grain3 reathing it! du!t3 and %i!tening to

$en#a (. or $en#a 7. or $en#a $. or '# !i!ter =i-a or !o'e one e%!e running a out the court#ard3 finding the other! ut not finding 'e3 !u 'erged in the winter<wheat. +he !ta %e3 the cow!hed3 the 0ig!t#3 and the chicken<hou!e a%% !tood on the other !ide of our dwe%%ing. +he!e were a%% 'ade of 'ud and !traw and twig!3 !o'ehow !tuck together with c%a#. +he ta%% we%%<!wee0 ro!e toward heaven a out a hundred #ard! fro' the hou!e. )e#ond the we%% %a# the 0ond that watered the garden! of the 0ea!ant!. +he !0ring fre!het! carried the da' awa# ever# #ear3 and it had to e re ui%t with earth and 'anure and !traw. On the hi%% a ove the 0ond !tood the 'i%% B a wooden !hed which !he%tered a ten<hor!e<0ower !tea'<engine and two 'i%%!tone!. Aere3 during the fir!t #ear! of '# chi%dhood3 '# 'other !0ent the greater 0art of her working hour!. +he 'i%% worked not on%# for our own e!tate ut for the who%e neigh orhood a! we%%. +he 0ea!ant! rought their grain in fro' ten and fifteen 'i%e! around and 0aid a tenth 'ea!ure for the grinding. In hot weather3 on the eve of the thre!hing !ea!on3 the 'i%% worked da# and night3 and when I had %earned to count and write3 I u!ed to weigh the 0ea!ant!> grain and ca%cu%ate the 0rice of the grinding. 5hen the harve!t wa! over the 'i%% wa! c%o!ed and the engine went out to thre!h. =ater a !tationar# engine wa! in!ta%%ed in a new !tone and ti%e ui%ding. Our o%d 'ud hou!e3 too3 wa! re0%aced # a %arge rick one with a tin roof. )ut a%% thi! ha00ened when I had a%read# reached '# !eventeenth #ear. 8uring '# %a!t !u''er ho%ida#! I u!ed to ca%cu%ate the di!tance etween the window!3 and the !i-e! of the door! for our new hou!e3 ut I never cou%d 'ake the %ine! 'eet. On '# ne/t vi!it to the countr# I !aw the !tone foundation eing ui%t. I never %ived in the hou!e it!e%f. It i! now u!ed a! a $oviet !choo%. +he 0ea!ant! often u!ed to wait at the 'i%% for week! to have their grain ground. +ho!e who %ived near # wou%d %eave their !ack! in %ine and go ho'e. +ho!e who ca'e fro' far awa# %ived in their wagon!3 and in rain# weather !%e0t in the 'i%%. One of the!e 0ea!ant! once %o!t a rid%e. $o'e one had !een a o# roving a out near a certain hor!e. +he 0ea!ant! ru!hed to hi! father>! wagon and %ooked under the !trawD there %a# the rid%eJ +he o#>! father3 a g%oo'#3 earded 0ea!ant3 faced the Ea!t and cro!!ed hi'!e%f3 !wearing that the da'ned %itt%e ra!ca%3 the !coundre%%# @ai% ird3 had taken it unknown to hi'!e%f3 and that he wou%d take the hide off hi' for it. )ut no one e%ieved the father. $o the 0ea!ant caught hi! !on and egan eating hi' with the !to%en rid%e. I watched thi! !cene fro' ehind the ack! of the grown<u0!. +he o# !crea'ed and !wore he wou%d never !tea% again. +he 0ea!ant! !tood a out3 g%oo'i%# %ooking on3 entire%# indifferent to the crie! of the o#. +he# !'oked their cigarette! and 'uttered in their eard! that the father wa! !0eciou!%# eating hi! !on on%# for a00earance! !ake3 and that he hi'!e%f !hou%d e f%ogged too. )e#ond the arn! and the !hed! for ani'a%!3 e/tended two enor'ou! !hed! hundred! of feet %ong3 one of reed! and the other of !traw3 ui%t in the !ha0e of a ga %ed roof re!ting direct%# on the ground3 without wa%%!. +he fre!h grain wa! 0i%ed under the!e !hed!3 and here the 'en worked with winnower! and !ieve! in rain# or wind# weather. )e#ond the !hed! %a# the thre!hing<f%oor. 1cro!! a ravine %a# the cow0en3 it! wa%%! ui%t entire%# of dr# 'anure. 1%% '# chi%di!h %ife i! connected with the *o%one%>! 'ud hou!e and the o%d !ofa in the dining< roo' there. +hi! !ofa wa! veneered to %ook %ike red wood3 and on it I !at for tea3 for dinner and for !u00er. Aere I 0%a#ed do%%! with '# !i!ter3 and here I wou%d %ater read. +he cover wa! torn in

two 0%ace!. +he !'a%%er ho%e wa! near the chair where Ivan (a!i%#evich !at3 the %arger where I !at3 ne/t to '# father. 9+hi! !ofa !hou%d have a new cover3? Ivan (a!i%#evich u!ed to !a#. 9It !hou%d have had one %ong ago3? '# 'other wou%d re0%#. 95e haven>t covered it !ince the #ear the *-ar wa! ki%%ed.? 9)ut #ou know3? '# father wou%d @u!tif# hi'!e%f3 9when one get! to that da'ned cit#3 one run! here and there3 the ca co!t! 'one#3 one i! thinking a%% the ti'e a out how to get ack Cuick%# to the far'3 and forget! a%% a out what one ca'e to u#.? 1 rough3 un0ainted rafter !tretched acro!! the %ow cei%ing of the dining<roo'3 and on thi! the 'o!t varied o @ect! found their re!ting<0%ace& 0%ate! of 0rovi!ion! for !afekee0ing fro' the cat3 nai%!3 !tring3 ook!3 ink< ott%e! !to00ered with 0a0er3 a 0enho%der with an o%d ru!t# 0en. +here wa! no !u0erf%uit# of 0en! at Yanovka. +here were ti'e! when I 'ade a 0en for '#!e%f out of wood with the he%0 of a ta %e<knife3 for co0#ing hor!e! out of o%d nu' er! of the i%%u!trated 'aga-ine3 Field. H0 under the cei%ing3 where the chi'ne# went out3 %ived the cat. +here !he rai!ed her kitten!3 rave%# @u'0ing down with the' in her teeth when it grew too hot u0 there. If a gue!t were ta%% he a%wa#! hit the rafter with hi! head when he ro!e fro' the ta %e3 !o that we had acCuired the ha it of 0ointing u0ward and !a#ing& 9"ind #our headJ? +he 'o!t !triking o @ect in the 0ar%or wa! an o%d !0inet that occu0ied at %ea!t a Cuarter of the roo'. I can re'e' er when it a00eared. +he wife of a ankru0t %andowner3 who %ived !o'e fifteen 'i%e! awa#3 'oved into town and !o%d her hou!eho%d good!. Fro' her we ought the !ofa3 three entwood chair!3 and the o%d tu' %e<down !0inet with roken !tring! that had een !tanding in an outhou!e for #ear!. "# father 0aid !i/teen rou %e! for it and rought it to Yanovka on a cart. 1 0air of dead 'ice were found in it when it wa! overhau%ed in the 'achine<!ho0. +he !ho0 wa! occu0ied # the !0inet for !evera% winter week!. Ivan (a!i%#evich c%eaned it3 g%ued it3 0o%i!hed it3 found new !tring!3 and 0ut the' in and tuned the'. 1%% the ke#! were re0%aced3 and the voice of the !0inet re!ounded in the 0ar%or. It wa! fee %e3 ut irre!i!ti %e. Ivan (a!i%#evich tran!ferred hi! 'agic finger! fro' the !to0! of hi! accordion to the ke#! of the !0inet3 and 0%a#ed the Ka'arin!ka#a3 0o%ka!3 and !ein "ieber 'ugustine. "# o%de!t !i!ter egan to take 'u!ic %e!!on!. "# o%de!t rother had taken vio%in %e!!on! for !evera% 'onth! in E%i-avetgrad3 and he wou%d !tru' occa!iona%%#. 1nd at %a!t3 I too wou%d 0%a#3 with one finger3 fro' '# rother>! vio%in 'u!ic. I had no ear3 and '# %ove of 'u!ic a%wa#! re'ained he%0%e!! and une/0re!!ed. In the !0ringti'e the court#ard changed into a !ea of 'ud. Ivan (a!i%#evich wou%d 'ake a 0air of wooden ga%o!he!3 or rather u!kin!3 for hi'!e%f3 and I u!ed to watch hi' with de%ight3 !triding a%ong a foot a ove hi! u!ua% height. In ti'e the o%d !add%er a00ear! u0on the !cene. No one3 it !ee'!3 know! hi! na'e. Ae i! 'ore than eight# #ear! o%d and ha! !erved twent#<five #ear! in the ar'# of Nicho%a! I. Auge and road<!hou%dered3 with white eard and hair3 he !carce%# 'ove! hi! heav# feet a! he !huff%e! acro!! to the arn3 where hi! itinerant work!ho0 ha! een in!ta%%ed. 9"# %eg! are getting weak3? he ha! een co'0%aining for the 0a!t ten #ear!. On the contrar#3 hi! hand!3 which !'e%% of %eather3 are !tronger than 0incer!. Ai! nai%! re!e' %e the ivor# ke#! of the !0inet3 and are ver# !har0 at the end!.

95ou%d #ou %ike 'e to !how #ou "o!cowE? a!k! the !add%er. Of cour!e I !hou%dJ +he o%d 'an 0ut! hi! thu' ! under '# ear! and rai!e! 'e u0. Ai! dreadfu% nai%! 0re!! into 'e3 and I a' offended and hurt. I kick '# hee%! and tr# to get down. 9If #ou don>t want to !ee "o!cow3 #ou needn>tJ? In !0ite of eing offended3 I do not run awa#. 9Ae%%oJ? !a#! the o%d 'an3 c%i' ing the arn !tair!. 9=ook what>! here in the %oftJ? I !u!0ect a trick3 and he!itate to go in. It turn! out that *on!tantine3 the #ounge!t 'i%%er3 i! in the %oft with Kat#3 the cook. )oth are hand!o'e3 @o%%#3 and hardworking. 95hen are #ou and Kat# going to get 'arriedE? a!k! their 'i!tre!!. 95h#3 we are getting on ver# we%% a! we are3? an!wer! *on!tantine. 9It co!t! ten rou %e! to get 'arried3 and I !hou%d rather u# Kat# a 0air of oot!.? 1fter the hot3 ten!e !u''er of the !te00e i! over3 and it! toi%!o'e c%i'a/ of rea0ing and harve!ting ha! 0a!!ed3 co'e! the ear%# autu'n to take !tock of a #ear>! 0ena% %a or. +he thre!hing i! now in fu%% !wing. +he centre of activit# ha! 'oved to the thre!hing<f%oor e#ond the !hed!3 a Cuarter of a 'i%e fro' the hou!e. 1 c%oud of du!t f%oat! over the thre!hing<f%oor. +he dru' of the thre!her i! whining. Phi%i0 the 'i%%er3 wearing g%a!!e!3 i! !tanding e!ide it. Ai! %ack eard i! covered with gra# du!t. +he 'en are carr#ing in !heave! fro' the wagon. Ae take! the' without %ooking at the'3 untie! the'3 !hake! the' a0art3 and throw! the' into the thre!her. 1t each ar'fu% the thre!her grow%! %ike a dog with a one. +he !traw<!haker throw! out the !traw3 0%a#ing with it a! it goe!. +he chaff 0our! out of a 0i0e at the !ide and i! carried to the !traw !tack on a drag3 with 'e !tanding on it! wooden tai%< oard and ho%ding on # the ro0e rein!. 9"ind #ou don>t fa%%J? crie! '# father. 1nd down I go for the tenth ti'e. I fa%% now into the !traw3 now into the chaff. +he gra# du!t c%oud thicken! over the thre!hing<f%oor3 the engine groan!3 the hu%%! get into one>! !hirt and no!e and 'ake one !nee-e. 9Ae#3 Phi%i0J not !o fa!tJ? warn! '# father fro' e%ow3 a! the thre!her grow%! too fierce%#. I %ift the drag. It !%i0! out of '# hand! and fa%%! with it! who%e weight on '# finger. +he 0ain i! !o inten!e that '# head !wi'!. I !%i0 to one !ide !o that the 'en !ha%% not !ee 'e cr#ing3 and then run ho'e. "# 'other 0our! co%d water on '# hand and andage! '# finger3 ut the 0ain doe! not di'ini!h. +he wound fe!ter! during !evera% da#! of torture. $ack! of wheat now fi%% the arn! and the !hed!3 and are 0i%ed in hea0! under tar0au%in! in the court#ard. +he 'a!ter hi'!e%f often !tand! at the !ieve and !how! the 'en how to turn the hoo03 !o a! to %ow awa# the chaff3 and how3 with one !har0 0u!h3 to e'0t# the c%ean grain into a 0i%e without %eaving an# ehind. In the !hed! and arn!3 where there i! !he%ter fro' the wind3 the winnower and the tare<!e0arator! are working. +he grain i! c%eaned there and 'ade read# for the 'arket. 1nd now 'erchant! co'e with co00er ve!!e%! and !ca%e! in neat%# 0ainted o/e!. +he# te!t the grain and na'e a 0rice3 0re!!ing earne!t<'one# on '# father. 5e treat the' with re!0ect and give the' tea and cake!3 ut we do not !e%% the' the grain. +he# are ut !'a%% fr#D the 'a!ter ha! outgrown the!e channe%! of trade. Ae ha! hi! own co''i!!ion 'erchant in Niko%a#ev. 9=et it e awhi%e3 grain doe!n>t a!k to e fedJ? he !a#!. 1 week %ater a %etter co'e! fro' Niko%a#ev3 or !o'eti'e! a te%egra'3 offering five ko0eck! a pood 'ore. 9$o we have found a thou!and rou %e!J? !a#! the 'a!ter. 91nd the# don>t grow on ever# u!hJ? )ut !o'eti'e! the rever!e ha00en!D !o'eti'e! the 0rice fa%%!. +he !ecret 0ower of the wor%d 'arket 'ake! it!e%f fe%t even in Yanovka. +hen '# father !a#! g%oo'i%#3 returning

fro' Niko%a#ev& 9It !ee'! that B what i! the na'eE B the 1rgentine3 !ent out too 'uch wheat thi! #ear.? 5inter wa! a 0eacefu% ti'e in the countr#. On%# the 'achine<!ho0 and the 'i%% were !ti%% rea%%# active. For fue% we urned !traw which the !ervant! rought in huge ar'fu%!3 !cattering it a%ong the wa# and !wee0ing it u0 after the'!e%ve!. It wa! @o%%# to !tuff thi! !traw into the !tove! and watch it %a-e u0. Once Hnc%e 4regor# found '# #ounger !i!ter and 'e a%one in the dining< roo'3 which wa! fi%%ed with %ue charcoa% fu'e!. I wa! turning round and round in the 'idd%e of the roo'3 not knowing where I wa!3 and at '# unc%e>! cr# I fe%% in a dead faint. 5e often found our!e%ve! a%one in the hou!e on winter da#!3 e!0ecia%%# during '# father>! a !ence!3 when a%% the work of the 0%ace fe%% on '# 'other. In the du!k '# %itt%e !i!ter and I u!ed to !it !ide # !ide on the !ofa3 0re!!ed c%o!e together3 wide<e#ed and afraid to 'ove. 1 giant wou%d co'e out of the co%d out!ide into the dark dining<roo'3 !huff%ing hi! huge oot!3 and wra00ed in an enor'ou! greatcoat with a huge co%%ar3 and wearing a huge hat. Ai! hand! were enca!ed in huge 'itten!. =arge icic%e! hung fro' hi! eard and 'u!tache3 and hi! great voice wou%d oo' out in the darkne!!& 94ood eveningJ? $Cuee-ed together in a corner of the !ofa3 we wou%d e afraid to an!wer hi'. +hen the 'on!ter wou%d %ight a 'atch and !ee u! in our corner. +he giant wou%d turn out to e one of our neigh or!. $o'e ti'e! the %one%ine!! in the dining<roo' eca'e a !o%ute%# un eara %e3 and then I ran out into the outer ha%% in !0ite of the co%d3 o0ened the front door3 !te00ed out onto the ig !tone that %a# on the thre!ho%d3 and !crea'ed into the darkne!!& 9"a!hkaJ "a!hkaJ *o'e into the dining<roo'J? over and over again. "a!hka wa! u!# with her own affair! in the kitchen3 in the !ervant!> roo'3 or !o'ewhere e%!e. "# 'other wou%d co'e in at %a!t3 0erha0! fro' the 'i%%3 %ight a %a'03 and the !a'ovar wou%d e rought in. 5e u!ua%%# !at in the dining<roo' in the evening unti% we fe%% a!%ee0. Peo0%e ca'e and went in the dining<roo'3 taking or returning ke#!3 'aking arrange'ent! of variou! kind!3 and 0%anning the work for the fo%%owing da#. "# #ounger !i!ter O%#a3 '# o%der !i!ter =i-a3 the cha' er'aid and '#!e%f then %ived a %ife of our own3 which wa! de0endent on the %ife of the grown<u0!3 and !u dued # their!. $o'eti'e! a chance word of one of the e%der! wou%d waken !o'e !0ecia% re'ini!cence in u!. +hen I wou%d wink at '# %itt%e !i!ter3 !he wou%d give a %ow gigg%e3 and the grown<u0! wou%d %ook a !ent<'inded%# at her. I wou%d wink again3 and !he wou%d tr# to !tif%e her %aughter under the oi%c%oth and wou%d hit her head again!t the ta %e. +hi! wou%d infect 'e and !o'eti'e! '# o%der !i!ter too3 who3 with thirteen<#ear<o%d dignit#3 vaci%%ated etween the grown<u0! and the chi%dren. If our %aughter eca'e too uncontro%%a %e3 I wa! o %iged to !%i0 under the ta %e and craw% a'ong the feet of the grown<u0!3 and3 !te00ing on the cat>! tai%3 ru!h out into the ne/t roo'3 which wa! the nur!er#. Once ack in the dining<roo'3 it a%% wou%d egin over again. "# finger! wou%d grow !o weak fro' %aughing that I cou%d not ho%d a g%a!!. "# head3 '# %i0!3 '# hand!3 '# feet3 ever# inch of 'e wou%d e !haking with %aughter. 95hatever i! the 'atter with #ouE? '# 'other wou%d a!k. +he two circ%e! of %ife3 the u00er and the %ower3 wou%d touch for a 'o'ent. +he grown<u0! wou%d %ook at the chi%dren with a Cue!tion in their e#e! that wa! !o'eti'e! friend%# ut 'ore often fu%% of irritation. +hen our %aughter3 taken unaware!3 wou%d

reak out te'0e!tuou!%# into the o0en. O%#a>! head wou%d go under the ta %e again3 I wou%d throw '#!e%f on the !ofa3 =i-a wou%d ite her u00er %i03 and the cha' er'aid wou%d !%i0 out of the door. 94o to edJ? the grown<u0! wou%d cr#. )ut we wou%d not go. 5e wou%d hide in corner!3 afraid to %ook at one another. "# %itt%e !i!ter wou%d e carried awa#3 ut I u!ua%%# went to !%ee0 on the !ofa. $o'e one wou%d 0ick 'e u0 in hi! ar'! and take 'e out. +hen I wou%d 0erha0! give a %oud #e%%3 i'agining3 ha%f<a!%ee03 that I wa! eing at tacked # dog!3 that !nake! were hi!!ing e%ow 'e3 or that ro er! were carr#ing 'e awa# into the wood!. +he chi%d>! night'are wou%d reak into the %ife of the grown<u0!. I wou%d e Cuieted on the wa# to edD the# wou%d 0at and ki!! 'e. $o I wou%d go fro' %aughter into !%ee03 fro' night'are! into wakefu%ne!!3 and ack into !%ee0 again in a feather ed in the war' edroo'. 5inter wa! the fa'i%# ti'e of #ear. +here ca'e da#! when '# 'other and father hard%# %eft the hou!e. "# o%der rother and !i!ter ca'e ho'e for *hri!t'a! fro' their !choo%!. On $unda#!3 Ivan (a!i%#evich3 a%% wa!hed and !haved3 and ar'ed with a co' and !ci!!or!3 wou%d cut fir!t '# father>! hair3 then $a!ha>!3 and then 'ine. $a!ha a!k!& 9*an #ou cut hair 6 la Capoul, Ivan (a!i%#evichE? Ever# one %ook! at $a!ha3 and he e/0%ain! that in E%i-avetgrad the ar er once cut hi! hair eautifu%%# 6 la Capoul, ut that ne/t da# the !u0ervi!or gave hi' a !evere re0ri'and. 1fter the hair<cutting i! over3 we !it down to dinner3 '# father and Ivan (a!i%#evich in ar'chair! at each end of the ta %e3 the chi%dren on the !ofa3 and '# 'other o00o!ite the'. Ivan (a!i%#evich took hi! 'ea%! with u! unti% he wa! 'arried. In winter we ate !%ow%# and !at ta%king afterward. Ivan (a!i%#evich wou%d !'oke and %ow ingeniou! ring!. $o'eti'e! $a!ha or =i-a wa! 'ade to read a%oud. "# father wou%d do-e in the rece!! of the !tove. Once in a whi%e in the evening we 0%a#ed o%d<'aid3 fro' which a great dea% of noi!e and %aughter re!u%ted3 and !o'eti'e! a %itt%e Cuarre%ing. 5e thought it 0articu%ar%# a'u!ing to cheat '# father3 who 0%a#ed care%e!!%#3 and %aughed when he %o!t "# 'other3 on the other hand3 0%a#ed etter3 and wou%d grow e/cited and watch '# o%de!t rother !har0%# to !ee that he wa! not cheating her. It wa! twent#<three ki%o'etre! fro' Yanovka to the neare!t 0o!t<office3 and 'ore than thirt#<five to the rai%road. Fro' there it wa! a %ong wa# again to the 4overn'ent office!3 to the !tore! and to a civic centre3 and !ti%% farther to the wor%d with it! great event!. =ife at Yanovka wa! regu%ated entire%# # the rh#th' of the toi% on the far'. Nothing e%!e 'attered3 nothing ut the 0rice of grain in the wor%d 'arket. 5e never !aw an# 'aga-ine! or new!0a0er! in the countr# in tho!e da#!. +hat fo%%owed %ater3 when I had eco'e a high<!choo% o#. 5e got %etter! on%# on !0ecia% occa!ion!. $o'eti'e! a neigh or wou%d find a %etter for u! at )o rinet- and carr# it in hi! 0ocket for a week or two. 1 %etter wa! an eventD a te%egra' wa! a cata!tro0he. $o'e one e/0%ained to 'e that te%egra'! ca'e on wire!3 ut with '# own e#e! I !aw a 'an on hor!e ack ring a te%egra' fro' )o rinet- for which '# father had to 0a# two rou %e! and fift# ko0eck!. 1 te%egra' wa! a 0iece of 0a0er3 %ike a %etter. +here were word! written on it in 0enci%. 8id the wind %ow it a%ong a wireE I wa! to%d that it ca'e # e%ectricit#. +hat wa! !ti%% wor!e. Hnc%e

1 ra' once carefu%%# e/0%ained to 'e& 9+he current co'e! over the wire and 'ake! 'ark! on a ri on. ,e0eat what I have !aid.? I re0eated& 9*urrent over the wire and 'ark! on a ri on.? 98o #ou under!tandE? 9Ye!3 I under!tand3 ut how do the# 'ake a %etter out of itE? I a!ked3 thinking of the te%egra0h %ank which had co'e fro' )o rinet-. 9+he %etter co'e! !e0arate%#3? '# unc%e an!wered. I 0u--%ed for a 'o'ent and then a!ked& 91nd wh# do the# need the current if the %etter co'e! # a 'an on hor!e ackE? )ut here '# unc%e %o!t 0atience. 9Oh3 %et that %etter a%oneJ? he cried. 9I tr# to e/0%ain to #ou a out te%egra'! and #ou egin on %etter!J? $o the Cue!tion re'ained unan!wered. Pau%ina Petrovna3 a %ad# fro' )o rinet-3 ca'e to !ta# with u!. $he had %ong earring! and a cur% on her forehead. =ater '# 'other took her ack to )o rinet- and I went with the'. 5hen we had 0a!!ed the 'ound that 'ark! the e%eventh (erst3 a row of te%egra0h 0o%e! a00eared3 and the wire! were hu''ing. 9Aow do te%egra'! co'eE? I a!ked '# 'other. 91!k Pau%ina Petrovna3? '# 'other an!wered3 at a %o!!. 9$he wi%% e/0%ain it to #ou.? Pau%ina Petrovna e/0%ained& 9+he 'ark! on the ri on !tand for %etter!. +he o0erator co0ie! the' on 0a0er3 and the 0a0er i! !ent # a 'an on hor!e ack.? I cou%d under!tand that. 9)ut how can the current go without an# one !eeing itE? I a!ked3 %ooking at the wire. 9+he current goe! in!ide3? an!wered Pau%ina Petrovna. 91%% tho!e wire! are 'ade %ike %itt%e tu e! and the current run! a%ong in!ide.? I cou%d under!tand that too3 and wa! !ati!fied for a %ong ti'e afterward. +he e%ectro<'agnetic f%uid which '# teacher of 0h#!ic! to%d 'e a out four #ear! %ater !ee'ed a 'uch %e!! rea!ona %e e/0%anation to 'e. "# father and 'other %ived out their hard<working %ive! with !o'e friction3 ut ver# ha00i%# on the who%e. "# 'other ca'e fro' a fa'i%# of town!0eo0%e who %ooked down u0on far'er!3 with their rough hand!. )ut '# father had een hand!o'e and gracefu% in hi! #outh3 with a 'an%#3 energetic face. Ae !ucceeded in getting together the 'ean! that %ater ena %ed hi' to u# Yanovka. +he #oung wo'an who had een taken fro' the cit# and f%ung out onto the %one%# !te00e! found it difficu%t at fir!t to ad@u!t her!e%f to the !tern condition! of %ife on a far'. )ut !he !ucceeded at %a!t in ada0ting her!e%f 0erfect%#3 and once in the trace!3 !he did not re%inCui!h her toi% for fort#<five #ear!. Of the eight chi%dren orn of thi! 'arriage3 four !urvived. I wa! the fifth in order of irth. Four died in infanc#3 of di0htheria and of !car%et fever3 death! a%'o!t a! unnoticed a! wa! the %ife of tho!e who !urvived. +he %and3 the catt%e3 the 0ou%tr#3 the 'i%%3 took

a%% '# 0arent!> ti'eD there wa! none %eft for u!. +he !ea!on! !ucceeded one another3 and wave! of far' work !we0t over do'e!tic affection. +here wa! no di!0%a# of tenderne!! in our fa'i%#3 e!0ecia%%# during '# ear%# #ear!3 ut there wa! a !trong co'rade!hi0 of %a or etween '# father and 'other. 94ive #our 'other a chairJ? '# father wou%d cr# a! !oon a! '# 'other cro!!ed the thre!ho%d3 white with du!t fro' the 'i%%. 9"a!hkaJ =ight the !a'ovar Cuick3? '# 'other wou%d co''and even efore !he had reached the hou!e. 9Your 'a!ter wi%% !oon e in fro' the fie%d!.? )oth knew what it wa! to have reached the %i'it of 0h#!ica% e/hau!tion. "# father wa! undou ted%# !u0erior to '# 'other3 oth in inte%%ect and character. Ae wa! dee0er3 'ore re!erved3 and 'ore tactfu% Ae had an unu!ua%%# good e#e oth for thing! and 0eo0%e. "# father and 'other ought ver# %itt%e3 e!0ecia%%# during our ear%# #ear!D the# oth knew how to !ave ever# 0enn#. "# father never 'ade a 'i!take in what he ought& c%oth3 hat!3 !hoe!3 hor!e! or 'achiner#3 he a%wa#! got hi! 'one#>! worth. 9I don>t %ike 'one#3? he once !aid to 'e %ater3 a! if a0o%ogi-ing for eing !o 'ean3 9 ut I %ike it %e!! when there i! none of it. It i! ad to need 'one# and not have an#.? Ae !0oke a roken 'i/ture of the ,u!!ian and Hkrainian tongue!3 with a 0re0onderance of the Hkrainian. Ae @udged 0eo0%e # their 'anner!3 their face! and their ha it!3 and he a%wa#! @udged the' correct%#. 9I don>t %ike that !tudent of #our!3? he wou%d !o'eti'e! !a# of one of our gue!t!. 9*onfe!! it3 don>t #ou #our!e%f think he i! an idiotE? Our fee%ing! wou%d e hurt for our gue!t>! !ake3 ut we knew in our heart! that our father wa! right. 1fter vi!iting once in a fa'i%#3 he !u''ed u0 the do'e!tic !ituation there ver# correct%#. 1fter earing 'an# chi%dren and after 'uch hard work3 '# 'other once fe%% i%%3 and went to !ee a doctor in Kharkoff. $uch a @ourne# wa! a great event3 and 'an# 0re0aration! were 'ade for it. "# 'other went we%% !u00%ied with 'one#3 @ar! of utter3 ag! of !weet i!cuit!3 fried chicken and !o forth. $he had great e/0en!e! ahead of her. +he doctor>! fee wa! three rou %e! a vi!it. "# 'other and father a%wa#! !0oke of thi! to each other and to their gue!t! with u0%ifted hand! and an e/0re!!ion on their face! that !ignified their re!0ect for the enefit! of !cience3 their regret that the# co!t !o dear3 and their 0ride that the# were a %e to 0a# !uch an unheard<of 0rice for the'. 5e awaited '# 'other>! return with great e/cite'ent. $he ca'e ack in a new dre!! that %ooked incredi %# grand in our dining<roo' at Yanovka. 5hen we chi%dren were #oung3 '# father wa! Cuieter and gent%er with u! than '# 'other. "# 'other wou%d often %o!e her te'0er with u!3 !o'eti'e! without rea!on3 and wou%d vent on u! her fatigue or her chagrin over !o'e do'e!tic fai%ure. 5e a%wa#! found it 'ore re'unerative to a!k our father for favor! than our 'other. )ut a! ti'e went on3 '# father grew !terner. +he cau!e of thi! %a# in the hard!hi0! of hi! %ife3 in the care! which grew a! hi! u!ine!! increa!ed3 and 'ore e!0ecia%%# in the condition! growing out of the agrarian cri!i! of the >G2!3 a! we%% a! in the di!a00oint'ent which hi! chi%dren gave hi'.

"# 'other %oved to read during the %ong winter!3 when Yanovka wa! !we0t # the !now drifting fro' a%% the corner! of the !te00e and ri!ing over the window!. $he wou%d !it on a !'a%% three< cornered !eat in the dining<roo' with her feet on a chair efore her3 or3 when the ear%# winter twi%ight fe%%3 !he wou%d 'ove into '# father>! ar'chair near the !'a%%3 fro!t# window3 and read in a %oud whi!0er fro' !o'e worn nove% out of the %i rar# at )o rinet-3 fo%%owing the word! with her toi%<worn finger. $he often grew confu!ed3 and fa%tered over !o'e e!0ecia%%# %ong !entence. $o'eti'e! an e/0%anation fro' an# one of the chi%dren wou%d throw an entire%# new %ight for her on the !tor# !he had een reading. )ut !he continued to read 0er!evering%# and untiring%#3 and on Cuiet winter da#! we cou%d hear her 'onotonou! whi!0er a! far a! the front ha%%. "# father %earned to !0e%% out word! even when he wa! Cuite an o%d 'an3 in order to e a %e to read at %ea!t the tit%e! of '# ook!. I fo%%owed hi' with e/cite'ent in )er%in in 19123 when he 0er!evering%# tried to under!tand '# ook on 4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocrac#. +he Octo er ,evo%ution found '# father a ver# 0ro!0erou! 'an. "# 'other had died in 19123 ut '# father %ived to !ee the ru%e of the $oviet!. 1t the height of the civi% war3 which raged with e!0ecia% fur# in the $outh and wa! acco'0anied # con!tant change! of govern'ent3 the o%d 'an of !event# wa! o %iged to wa%k hundred! of 'i%e! to find !he%ter in Ode!!a. +he ,ed! were a 'enace to hi' ecau!e he wa! richD the 5hite! 0er!ecuted hi' ecau!e he wa! '# father. 1fter the $outh had een freed of 5hite !o%dier! # the $oviet troo0!3 he wa! ena %ed to co'e to "o!cow. Ae had %o!t a%% hi! !aving! in the ,evo%ution. For 'ore than a #ear he ran a !'a%% !tate 'i%% near "o!cow. +he *o''i!!ar of Food at that ti'e3 +-#uru0a3 u!ed to en@o# chatting with hi' on agricu%tura% !u @ect!. "# father died of t#0hu! in the !0ring of 19II3 at the ver# 'o'ent when I wa! reading '# re0ort at the Fourth *ongre!! of the *o''uni!t Internationa%. 1 ver# i'0ortant3 in fact3 the 'o!t i'0ortant3 0%ace at Yanovka wa! the 'achine<!ho03 where Ivan (a!i%#evich 4r#e en worked. Ae ca'e to work there when he wa! twent#3 the #ear that I wa! orn. Ae addre!!ed a%% the chi%dren3 even the o%der one!3 a! 9thou3? whi%e we !0oke to hi' re!0ectfu%%# a! 9#ou.? 5hen he had to re0ort for 'i%itar# !ervice '# father went with hi'. +he# gave !o'eone a ri e3 and 4r#e en !ta#ed at Yanovka. +hi! Ivan (a!i%#evich wa! hand!o'e and gifted. Ae wore a dark reddi!h 'u!tache and a eard cut in the French fa!hion. Ai! technica% know%edge wa! co'0rehen!ive. Ae cou%d re ui%d an engine3 re0air a oi%er3 turn a 'eta% or a wooden a%%3 ca!t a ra!! earing3 'ake a !0ring carriage3 'end a c%ock3 tune a 0iano3 u0ho%!ter furniture3 or 'ake a ic#c%e 'inu! the tire!. It wa! on a ic#c%e of hi! 'anufacture that I %earned to ride in the #ear when I wa! etween the 0ri'ar# and fir!t grade!. +he neigh oring 4er'an !ett%er! wou%d ring in their !eed<dri%%! and inder! to e re0aired # hi'3 and wou%d invite hi' to go with the' to u# a thre!hing<'achine or a !tea'<engine. Peo0%e ca'e to '# father for advice a out far'ing3 and to Ivan (a!i%#evich for advice a out 'achiner#. +here were a!!i!tant! a! we%% a! a00rentice! e'0%o#ed in the 'achine<!ho0. In 'an# wa#! I wa! the 0u0i% of the!e a00rentice!. I wa! !o'eti'e! a%%owed to cut the thread! of nut! and !crew! in the 'achine<!ho0. I %iked thi! work ecau!e I cou%d !ee the direct re!u%t in '# hand!. I !o'eti'e! tried to grind the 'ateria% for 0aint on a round3 !'ooth !tone3 ut I !oon tired3 and wou%d a!k 'ore and 'ore freCuent%# whether the work wa! near%# fini!hed. $tirring the thick 'i/ture with hi! finger3 Ivan (a!i%#evich wou%d !hake hi! head3 and I wou%d hand over the !tone to one of the a00rentice!.

Ivan (a!i%#evich wou%d !o'eti'e! !it down on a che!t in the corner ehind the work< ench3 a too% in hand. Ae wou%d !'oke and ga-e into the di!tance3 0erha0! 0ondering !o'ething or re'e' ering !o'ething or !i'0%# re!ting without thinking at a%%. 1t !uch ti'e! I u!ed to !it down e!ide hi' and gent%# cur% hi! thick3 au urn 'u!tache around '# finger3 or e/a'ine hi! hand!3 tho!e un'i!taka %e hand! of the arti!an. +heir !kin wa! a%% covered with %itt%e %ack !0ot! that he had got fro' cutting 'i%%!tone!. Ai! finger! were a! tenaciou! a! root!3 ut not hard. +he# were road at the ti0! ut ver# !u00%e3 and hi! thu' turned far ackward3 for'ing an arch. Each finger wa! !e%f<con!ciou!3 and %ived and acted # it!e%f3 ut together the# for'ed a ver# effective %a or<union. I wa! !ti%% Cuite #oung3 ut a%read# I cou%d fee% that that hand did not ho%d a ha''er or a 0air of 0%ier! a! other hand! did. 1 dee0 !car encirc%ed hi! %eft thu' . Ivan (a!i%#evich had ver# near%# cut it off with a hatchet the da# I wa! orn. It wa! hanging a%'o!t # the !kin a%one. "# father had ha00ened to !ee the #oung 'echanic %a# hi! hand on a oard3 a out to cho0 hi! thu' off a%together. 9$to0 a 'o'entJ? he had cried. 9Your finger wi%% grow on againJ? 9It wi%% grow on again3 #ou thinkE? the 'echanic had a!ked3 and %aid the hatchet a!ide. 1nd the thu' had grown on3 and again worked we%%3 e/ce0t that it did not turn ack a! far a! the other. Ivan (a!i%#evich once 'ade a !hotgun out of an o%d )erdan rif%e and tried hi! !ki%% at 'ark!'an!hi0. Ever# one in turn tried at a di!tance of !evera% 0ace! to 0ut out a cand%e # !triking the 0ri'er. Not ever# one !ucceeded. "# father chanced to 0a!! #. 5hen he rai!ed the gun to hi! !hou%der3 hi! hand! tre' %ed and he he%d it without a!!urance. )ut he 0ut the cand%e out at the fir!t tria%. Ae had a good e#e for ever#thing3 and Ivan (a!i%#evich knew thi!. +here were never an# a%tercation! etween the'3 though '# father wou%d !co%d the other work'en and find fau%t with their work. I never %acked occu0ation in the 'achine<!ho0. I wou%d tug the hand%e of the %ower which Ivan (a!i%#evich had 'ade according to a 0%an of hi! own. +he venti%ator wa! out of !ight in the %oft3 and thi! e/cited !ur0ri!e in ever# one who !aw it. I wou%d turn the %athe ti%% I wa! e/hau!ted3 e!0ecia%%# when croCuet< a%%! of acacia wood were eing 'ade. +he conver!ation! that took 0%ace in the 'achine<!ho0 !ee'ed each 'ore intere!ting than the %a!t. Pro0riet# did not a%wa#! ru%e there B or rather I 'ight !a# that it never ru%ed there. "# hori-on wa! widened there hour%#. Fo'a to%d !torie! a out the e!tate where he u!ed to work3 and a out the adventure! of the %adie! and gent%e'en there. I 'u!t !a# that he wa! not ver# co'0%i'entar# to the'. Phi%i03 the 'i%%er3 wou%d fo%%ow with !torie! of ar'# %ife. Ivan (a!i%#evich wou%d a!k Cue!tion!3 re!train the other!3 or !u00%e'ent what the# !aid. +he fire'an Ya!hka wa! a !ur%#3 red<haired 'an of thirt# who never ke0t an# 0o!ition for %ong. $o'ething wou%d co'e over hi'3 and he wou%d di!a00ear either in the !0ring or in the autu'n3 and return !i/ 'onth! %ater. Ae did not drink often3 ut 0eriodica%%#. Ae 0a!!ionate%# %oved hunting3 ut neverthe%e!! he !o%d hi! gun for drink. Fo'a to%d how Ya!hka had co'e into a !tore in )o rinet- arefooted3 hi! feet 0%a!tered with %ack 'ud3 and had a!ked for a o/ of ca0!. Ae 0ur0o!e%# !0i%%ed the ca0! on the f%oor3 and !too0ed to 0ick the' u0. In doing !o3 he !te00ed on !o'e of the' with hi! 'udd# feet3 and went out taking the' with hi'. 9I! Fo'a %#ingE? a!ked Ivan (a!i%#evich.

95h# do #ou think he i! %#ingE? a!ked Ya!hka. 9I hadn>t a 0enn# to 0a# for the'.? +hi! !ee'ed to 'e a good wa# of getting !o'ething #ou wanted3 and one worth# of i'itation. 9Our Ignat ha! co'e3? "a!hka3 the hou!e'aid3 ca'e in to te%% u!. 9)ut 8unka i!n>t here3 !he ha! gone ho'e for the ho%ida#.? 5e ca%%ed the fire'an Ignat 9our? Ignat3 to di!tingui!h hi' fro' hu'0 acked Ignat3 who had een an E%der efore +ara! ca'e. 9Our? Ignat had gone to e drafted for 'i%itar# !er vice B Ivan (a!i%#evich hi'!e%f had 'ea!ured hi! che!t and had !aid3 9+he# wou%dn>t take hi' for an#thingJ? +he e/a'ination oard 0ut Ignat into the ho!0ita% for a 'onth3 on tria%. +here he 'ade the acCuaintance of !o'e work'en fro' the cit#3 and re!o%ved to tr# hi! %uck in a factor#. 5hen he ca'e ack he wa! wearing cit# oot! and a !hee0!kin coat with a front e' roidered in co%or!. Ignat !0ent the who%e da# after hi! return in the 'achine<!ho03 te%%ing the 'en a out the cit# and a out the work3 condition!3 'achiner# and wage! he had found there. 9Of cour!e3 it>! a factor#3? egan Fo'a 'editative%#. 91 factor# i!n>t a 'achine<!ho0J? o !erved Phi%i0. 1nd the# a%% %ooked thoughtfu%3 a! if !eeing e#ond the 'achine<!ho0. 9I! there 'uch 'achiner# in the cit#E? a!ked (ictor eager%#. 91 who%e fore!t of itJ? I %i!tened with a%% '# ear!3 and !aw in '# 'ind>! e#e a factor# with 'achine! in it a! thick a! tree! in a fore!tD 'achine! to the right3 to the %eft3 efore3 ehindD 'achine! ever#where. 1nd in the 'id!t of it a%% I 0ictured Ignat !tanding with a tight %eather e%t round hi! wai!t. Ignat had a%!o acCuired a watch3 which wa! 0a!!ed fro' hand to hand. In the evening3 Ignat wa%ked u0 and down the court#ard with '# father3 fo%%owed # the !teward. I wa! there too3 running now e!ide '# father and now e!ide Ignat. 95e%%3 and how do #ou %iveE? a!ked '# father3 98o #ou u# #our read and 'i%kE 8o #ou rent a roo'E? 9+o e !ure3 #ou have to 0a# for a !o%ute%# ever#thing3? Ignat a!!ented3 9 ut the wage! aren>t the !a'e a! the# are here.? 9I know the# aren>t the !a'e3 ut the# a%% go for food.? 9No3? an!wered Ignat !tout%#. 9I have een a %e to !ave enough in !i/ 'onth! to u# !o'e c%othe! and a watch. Aere it i! in '# 0ocket.? 1nd he 0u%%ed out hi! watch again. +he argu'ent wa! unan!wera %e3 and '# father !aid nothing. +hen he a!ked again& 9Aave #ou een drinking3 IgnatE 5ith !o 'an# teacher! around #ou it !hou%d not e hard to %earnJ?

95h#3 I never even think of vodka.? 91nd are #ou going to take 8unka ack with #ou3 IgnatE? '# 'other a!ked hi'. Ignat !'i%ed a %itt%e gui%ti%# and did not an!wer. 9Oh3 I !ee3 I !ee3? !aid '# 'other. 9$o #ou have a%read# found !o'e cit# !%utJ *onfe!! to it3 #ou !coundre% I? $o Ignat went awa# again fro' Yanovka. 5e chi%dren were for idden to go into the !ervant!> roo'3 ut who cou%d 0revent our doing !oE +here wa! a%wa#! 'uch that wa! new there. Our cook for a %ong ti'e wa! a wo'an with high cheek< one! and a !unken no!e. Aer hu! and3 who wa! an o%d 'an and wa! 0ara%#-ed down one !ide of hi! face3 wa! our !he0herd. 5e ca%%ed the' "u!covite! ecau!e the# ca'e fro' one of the govern'ent! of the interior. +hi! cou0%e had a 0rett# %itt%e daughter eight #ear! o%d3 with %ue e#e! and %ond hair. $he wa! u!ed to !eeing her father and 'other forever Cuarre%ing. On $unda#! the gir%! u!ed to hunt for %ice in the o#!> hair or in their own. On a 0i%e of !traw in the !ervant!> roo' the two +at#ana! wou%d e %#ing !ide # !ide3 )ig +at#ana and =itt%e +at#ana. 1fana!#3 the !ta %e o#3 !on of Pud the !teward and rother to Para!ka3 the cook3 wou%d !it down etween the'3 throwing hi! %eg over =itt%e +at#ana and %eaning again!t )ig +at#ana. 95hat a "oha''edan #ou areJ? the #oung !teward wou%d cr# enviou!%#. 9I!n>t it ti'e to water the hor!e!E? +hi! red<haired 1fana!# and the %ack<haired "utu-ok were '# 0er!ecutor!. If I chanced to co'e in whi%e the 0udding or the 0orridge wa! eing handed around3 the# wou%d cr# %aughing%#& 9*o'e on3 =#ova3 and have dinner with u!J? or3 95h# don>t #ou a!k #our 'other for a it of chicken for u!3 =#ovaE? I wou%d fee% e' arra!!ed and go out without an!wering. 1t Ea!ter '# 'other wa! wont to ake cake! for the work'en and co%or egg! for the'. 1unt ,ai!a wa! an arti!t at 0ainting egg!. $he once rought !o'e gai%# 0ainted egg! with her fro' 4ro'ok%e# and gave 'e two. 5e u!ed to ro%% our egg! down the !%ide! ehind the ce%%ar to !ee which wa! the !tronge!t. Once I wa! %eft to the endD on%# 1fana!# and I re'ained. 91ren>t the!e 0rett#E? I a!ked3 !howing hi' '# 0ainted egg!. 9Ye!3 the# are 0rett# enough3? an!wered 1fana!#3 with an air of indifference. 9=et 'e !ee which i! the !tronge!t.? I did not dare to refu!e the cha%%enge. 1fana!# !truck '# egg and it cracked on to0. 9$o that one i! 'ineJ? !aid 1fana!#. 9Now %et>! tr# the other.? I o edient%# offered hi' '# !econd 0ainted egg 1fana!# !truck again. 9+hat one i! 'ine tooJ?

1fana!# 0icked u0 oth egg! in a u!ine!!%ike wa# and went off without %ooking ack. I watched hi' go in a!toni!h'ent3 and fe%t ver# 'uch %ike cr#ing3 ut there wa! nothing to e done a out it. +here were ver# few 0er'anent %a orer! who worked a%% the #ear round on the e!tate. "o!t of the' B and there were hundred! of the!e on the e!tate in #ear! of %arge cro0! B were te'0orar# on%#3 and co'0ri!ed 'en fro' Kiev3 *hernigov3 and Po%tava3 who were hired unti% the fir!t of Octo er. In the #ear! when the harve!t wa! good3 the Province of Kher!on a%one wou%d reCuire two or three hundred thou!and of the!e %a orer!. +he rea0er! received fort# to fift# rou %e! for the four !u''er 'onth!3 and their oard. +he wo'en received fro' twent# to thirt# rou %e!. +he o0en fie%d wa! their ho'e in fine weather3 in ad weather the# took !he%ter under the ha#!tack!. For dinner the# had vegeta %e !ou0 and 0orridge3 for !u00er 'i%%et !ou0. +he# never had an# 'eat. (egeta %e fat wa! a%% the# ever got3 and that in !'a%% Cuantitie!. +hi! diet wa! !o'eti'e! a ground for co'0%aint. +he %a orer! wou%d %eave the fie%d! and co%%ect in the court#ard. +he# wou%d %ie face downward in the !hade of the arn!3 randi!hing their are3 cracked3 !traw<0ricked feet in the air3 and wait to !ee what wou%d ha0 0en. +hen '# father wou%d give the' !o'e c%a er3 or water 'e%on!3 or ha%f a !ack of dried fi!h3 and the# wou%d go ack to work again3 often !inging. +he!e were the condition! on a%% the far'!. 5e had wir# o%d rea0er! who had een co'ing to work for u! ten #ear! on end3 knowing that work wa! a%wa#! a!!ured the'. +he!e received a few rou %e! 'ore than the other! and a g%a!! of vodka fro' ti'e to ti'e3 a! the# !et the !tandard of efficienc# for the other!. $o'e of the' a00eared at the head of a %ong fa'i%# 0roce!!ion. +he# wa%ked fro' their own 0rovince! on foot3 taking a who%e 'onth to 'ake the @ourne#3 %iving on cru!t! of read3 and !0ending the night! in the 'arket<0%ace!. One !u''er a%% the %a orer! fe%% i%% in an e0ide'ic of night< %indne!!. +he# 'oved a out in the twi%ight with their hand! !tretched out efore the'. "# 'other>! ne0hew3 who wa! vi!iting u!3 wrote an artic%e to the new!0a0er! a out it. It wa! !0oken of in the 6e'!tvo3 and an in!0ector wa! !ent to Yanovka. "# father and 'other were ve/ed with the new!0a0er corre!0ondent3 who wa! 'uch %iked3 and he hi'!e%f wa! !orr# that he had egun it. Nothing un0%ea!ant ca'e of it a%%3 however. +he in!0ector decided that the !ickne!! wa! due to a %ack of fat in the diet3 and that it wa! co''on a%% over the 0rovince3 a! the %a or>! were fed in the !a'e 'anner ever#where3 and !o'eti'e! even wor!e. In the 'achine<!ho03 the kitchen3 and the ack#ard3 a %ife !tretched efore 'e which wa! different fro' and 'ore !0aciou! than the one I %ed in '# own fa'i%#. +he fi%' of %ife ha! no end3 and I wa! on%# at the eginning. No one took an# notice of '# 0re!ence when I wa! %itt%e. +ongue! wagged free%#3 e!0ecia%%# when Ivan (a!i%#evich and the !teward were a !ent3 for the# ha%f e%onged to the ru%ing c%a!!. )# the %ight of the %ack!'ith>! forge or the kitchen fire3 I often !aw '# 0arent!3 '# re%ative! and our neigh or! in Cuite a new %ight. "an# of the conver!ation! I overheard when I wa! #oung wi%% re'ain in '# 'e'or# a! %ong a! I %ive. "an# of the'3 0erha0!3 %aid the foundation of '# attitude toward !ociet# toda#.

'otes
1. +rot!k#>! fu%% and origina% na'e wa! =ev 8av#dovich )ron!tein3 hi! father>! na'e eing 8av#d =eonti#evich )ron!tein. 9=#ova? i! one of the 'an# !i'i%ar di'inutive! of =ev3 which

%itera%%# 'ean! 9=ion.? In Eng%i!h and French u!age3 +rot!k# ha! eco'e known a! =eon3 in 4er'an a! =eo. In en!uing 0age! the reader wi%% freCuent%# find hi' referred to a! =ev 8av#dovich. and often in Cuotation! fro' hi! wife>! @ourna% !i'0%# a! =.8. B Translator

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! 00

&6! '(0738&!) A'D M4 F0!)T )%3&&L

1 (erst or %e!! fro' Yanovka %a# the 0ro0ert# of the 8e' ov!k#!. "# father %ea!ed %and fro' the' and wa! connected with the' # 'an# u!ine!! tie!. +heodo!ia 1ntonovna3 the owner3 wa! an o%d Po%i!h wo'an who had once een a governe!!. 1fter the death of her fir!t rich hu! and3 !he 'arried her 'anager3 Ka!i'ir 1ntonovich3 who wa! twent# #ear! #ounger than her!e%f. +heodo!ia 1ntonovna had not %ived with her !econd hu! and for #ear!3 though he !ti%% 'anaged the 0ro0ert#. Ka!i'ir 1ntonovich wa! a ta%%3 earded3 noi!# and @o%%# Po%e. Ae often had tea with u! at the ig ova% ta %e3 and wou%d u0roariou!%# te%% the !a'e !i%%# !tor# over and over again3 re0eating individua% word! and e'0ha!i-ing the' # !na00ing hi! finger!. Ka!i'ir 1ntonovich ke0t !o'e hive! of ee! at a di!tance fro' the !ta %e and cow!hed!3 !ince ee! cannot ear the !'e%% of hor!e!. +he ee! 'ade hone# fro' the fruit<tree!3 the white acacia!3 the winter ra0e3 and the uckwheat B in a word3 the# were in the 'id!t of a undance. Fro' ti'e to ti'e Ka!i'ir 1ntonovich wou%d ring u! two 0%ate! covered with a na0kin3 etween which %a# a 0iece of hone#co' fu%% of c%ear3 go%den hone#. One da# Ivan (a!i%#evich and I went together to get !o'e 0igeon! for reeding 0ur0o!e! fro' Ka!i'ir 1ntonovich. In a corner roo' of the great e'0t# hou!e3 Ka!i'ir 1ntonovich gave u! tea3 utter3 hone#3 and curd! on %arge 0%ate! that !'e%%ed da'0. I !at drinking tea out of '# !aucer and %i!tening to the %agging conver!ation. 9$han>t we e %ateE? I whi!0ered to Ivan (a!i%#evich. 9No3 wait a %itt%e %onger. 5e 'u!t give the' ti'e to !ett%e down in their %oft. You can !ee the' u0 there !ti%%.? I grew wear#. 1t %a!t we c%i' ed u0 into the %oft over the arn3 carr#ing a %antern. 9=ook out nowJ? cried Ka!i'ir 1ntonovich to 'e. +he %oft wa! %ong and dark3 with rafter! in a%% direction!. It had a !trong !'e%% of 'ice3 ee!3 co we ! and ird!. $o'eone 0ut out the %antern. 9+here the# areJ 4ra the'J? Ka!i'ir 1ntonovich whi!0ered. 1n inferna% u0roar roke %oo!eD the %oft wa! fi%%ed with a whir%wind of wing!. It !ee'ed to 'e for a 'o'ent that the end of the wor%d had co'e3 and that we were a%% %o!t. 4radua%%# I ca'e to3 and heard an an/iou! voice !a#ing& 9Aere>! anotherJ +hi! wa#3 thi! wa# that>! right3 0ut hi' in the !ack.? Ivan (a!i%#evich had rought a !ack a%ong3 and a%% the wa# ack we had ehind u! a continuation of the !cene in the %oft. 5e 'ade a 0igeon %oft over the 'achine !ho0. I c%i' ed u0

there ten ti'e! a da# after that3 taking water3 wheat3 'i%%et and cru' ! to the 0igeon!. 1 week %ater I found two egg! in a ne!t. )ut efore we were a %e fu%%# to a00reciate thi! i'0ortant event3 the 0igeon! egan to return to their o%d ho'e3 one 0air at a ti'e. On%# three 0air! who had had their wing! cut were %eft ehind3 and the!e f%ew awa# too when their wing! had grown out3 %eaving the eautifu% %oft we had 'ade for the'3 with it! ne!t! and it! !#!te' of ha%%!. +hu! ended our venture in rai!ing 0igeon!. "# father %ea!ed !o'e %and near E%i-avetgrad fro' "r!. +.3 who wa! a widow of fort# with a !trong character. In con!tant attendance on her wa! a 0rie!t3 a%!o widowed3 who wa! a %over of card! and of 'u!ic and of 'an# other thing! e!ide. "r!. +.3 acco'0anied # the 0rie!t3 once ca'e to Yanovka to !ee a out the ter'! of our contract with her. 5e a!!igned the !itting roo' and the roo' ad@oining it to the'3 and gave the' fried chicken3 cherr# wine and cherr# du'0%ing! for dinner. 1fter the 'ea% wa! over3 I !ta#ed in the 0ar%or and !aw the 0rie!t !it down e!ide her and %aughing%# whi!0er !o'ething into her ear. +urning ack the front of hi! coat3 he took a !i%ver cigarette ca!e with a 'onogra' out of the 0ocket of hi! !tri0ed trou!er! and %it a cigarette3 %ight%# %owing ring! of !'oke. Ae then to%d u!3 whi%e hi! 'i!tre!! wa! out of the roo'3 that !he read on%# the dia%ogue in nove%!. Ever# one !'i%ed 0o%ite%#3 ut refrained fro' critici!'3 for we knew that he wou%d not on%# re0eat it to her3 ut add to it !o'ething of hi! own invention. "# father egan to %ea!e %and fro' "r!. +. in 0artner!hi0 with Ka!i'ir 1ntonovich. +he %atter>! wife died at a out thi! ti'e3 and a !udden change occurred in hi'. +he gra# hair! di!a00eared fro' hi! eardD he wore a !tarched co%%ar3 and a tie with a tie 0in3 and carried a %ad#>! 0hotogra0h in hi! 0ocket. 1%though3 %ike ever# one e%!e3 Ka!i'ir 1ntonovich %aughed at '# Hnc%e 4regor#3 it wa! to hi' that he turned in a%% affair! of the heart. Ae took the 0hotogra0h out of it! enve%o0e and !howed it to hi'. 9=ookJ? he cried to Hnc%e 4regor#3 a%'o!t fainting with ec!ta!#. 9I !aid to thi! eautifu% eing& P=ad#3 #our %i0! are 'ade for ki!!e!J>? Ka!i'ir 1ntonovich 'arried the eautifu% eing3 ut he died !udden%# after a #ear and a ha%f of 'arried %ife. 1 u%% caught hi' on hi! horn! in the court#ard of the +. e!tate and gored hi' to death. +he rother! F. owned a 0ro0ert# of thou!and! of acre! a out eight (ersts fro' our!. +heir hou!e re!e' %ed a 0a%ace and wa! rich%# furni!hed3 with 'an# gue!t roo'!3 a i%%iard<roo' and 'uch e!ide. +he two F. rother!3 =ev and Ivan3 had inherited a%% thi! fro' their father +i'oth#3 and were gradua%%# going through their inheritance. +he ad'ini!tration of the 0ro0ert# wa! in the hand! of a !teward3 and the ook! !howed a deficit3 in !0ite of dou %e entr# ookkee0ing. 98av#d =eonti#evich i! richer than I a'3 if he doe! %ive in a 'ud hou!eJ? the e%der rother wou%d !a# of '# father3 and when we re0eated thi! to '# father3 he wa! o viou!%# 0%ea!ed. +he #ounger rother3 Ivan3 once rode through Yanovka with two of hi! hunt!'en3 their gun! on their ack!3 and a 0ack of white wo%fhound! at their hee%!. +hi! had never een !een efore at Yanovka. 9+he# wi%% !oon go through their 'one# at that rateJ? !aid '# father di!a00roving%#.

+he !ea% of doo' wa! on the!e fa'i%ie! of the Province of Kher!on. +he# were a%% 0rogre!!ing with e/traordinar# ra0idit#3 and a%% in the !a'e direction& toward downfa%%. 1nd thi! wa! true in !0ite of the 'an# difference! etween the'3 for !o'e e%onged to the hereditar# no i%it#3 !o'e were 4overn'ent officia%! endowed with %and for their !ervice!3 !o'e were Po%e!3 !o'e were 4er'an!3 and !o'e were 7ew! who had een a %e to u# %and efore 1GG1. +he founder! of 'an# of the!e !te00e d#na!tie! were 'en 0ro'inent in their wa#3 !ucce!!fu%3 and ro er! # nature. I had never known an# of the'3 however3 a! the# had a%% died during the ear%# >G2!. "an# of the' had egun %ife witha roken 0enn# ut with the knack of c%everne!!3 even if it wa! !o'eti'e! that of a cri'ina%3 and the# had acCuired tre'endou! 0o!!e!!ion!. +he !econd generation of the!e 0eo0%e grew u0 a! a new<'ade ari!tocrac#3 with a know%edge of French3 with i%%iard<roo'! in their hou!e!3 with a%% !ort! of ad wa#! to their credit. +he agricu%tura% cri!i! of the >G2!3 rought on # tran!<1t%antic co'0etition3 hit the' un'ercifu%%#. +he# fe%% %ike dead %eave!. +he third generation 0roduced a %ot of ha%f<rotten !coundre%!3 worth%e!! fe%%ow!3 un a%anced3 0re'ature inva%id!. +he highe!t 0eak of ari!tocratic ruin wa! reached in the 4herto0anov fa'i%#. 1 %arge vi%%age and a who%e count# were ca%%ed # their na'e. +he who%e countr#!ide had once e%onged to the'. +he o%d heir to it a%% had now on%# one thou!and acre! %eft3 and the!e were 'ortgaged over and over again. "# father %ea!ed thi! %and3 and the rent! went into the ank. 4herto0anov %ived # writing 0etition!3 co'0%aint! and %etter! for the 0ea!ant!. 5hen he ca'e to !ee u! he u!ed to hide to acco and %u'0! of !ugar u0 hi! !%eeve3 and hi! wife did the !a'e. 5ith drive%ing %i0! !he wou%d te%% u! !torie! of her #outh3 with it! !erf!3 it! grand 0iano!3 it! !i%k! and it! 0erfu'er#. +heir two !on! grew u0 a%'o!t i%%iterate. +he #ounger3 (ictor3 wa! an a00rentice in our 'achine< !ho0. 1 fa'i%# of 7ewi!h %andowner! %ived a out !i/ ver!t! fro' Yanovka. +heir na'e wa! "R!k#. +he# were a Cueer3 'ad %ot. +heir father3 "oi!!e# Kharitonovich3 wa! !i/t# #ear! o%d3 and wa! di!tingui!hed # having received an education of the ari!tocratic variet#. Ae !0oke French f%uent%#3 0%a#ed the 0iano3 and knew !o'ething a out %iterature. Ai! %eft hand wa! weak3 ut hi! right hand wa! fit3 he !aid3 to 0%a# in a concert. Ai! neg%ected fingernai%!3 !triking the ke#! of our o%d !0inet3 'ade a noi!e %ike ca!tanet!. )eginning with a Po%onai!e # Ogin!k#3 he wou%d 0a!! i'0erce0ti %# into a ,ha0!od# # =i!-t and !udden%# !%i0 into the !aidens 1rayerD hi! conver!ation wa! eCua%%# erratic. Ae wou%d often !to0 in the 'id!t of hi! 0%a#ing and get u0 and go to the 'irror. +hen3 if no one wa! #3 he wou%d !inge hi! eard on a%% !ide! with hi! urning cigarette3 with the idea of kee0ing it tid#. Ae !'oked ince!!ant%#3 and !ighed a! he did !o3 a! if he di!%iked it. Ae had not !0oken to hi! heav#3 o%d wife for fifteen #ear!. Ai! !on 8avid wa! thirt#<five #ear! o%d. Ae invaria %# wore a white andage over one !ide of hi! face3 !howing a ove it a red3 twitching e#e. 8avid wa! an un!ucce!!fu% !uicide. 5hen he wa! in 'i%itar# !ervice3 he had in!u%ted an officer on dut#. Ai! officer had !truck hi'. 8avid gave the officer a !%a0 in the face3 ran into the arrack!3 and tried to !hoot hi'!e%f with hi! rif%e. +he u%%et went through hi! cheek3 and for that rea!on he now wore that inevita %e white andage. +he gui%t# !o%dier wa! threatened with a !tern court 'artia%3 ut the 0atriarch of the hou!e of "R!k# wa! !ti%% a%ive at that ti'e B o%d Khariton3 rich3 0owerfu%3 i%%iterate3 de!0otic. Ae rou!ed the who%e

countr#!ide and had hi! grand!on dec%ared irre!0on!i %e. Perha0!3 after a%%3 it wa! not far fro' the truthJ Fro' that ti'e on3 8avid %ived with a 0ierced cheek and the 0a!!0ort of a %unatic. +he "R!k# fa'i%# were !ti%% on the downward 0ath at the ti'e I fir!t knew the'. 8uring '# ear%ie!t #ear!3 "oi!!e# Kharitonovich u!ed to co'e to !ee u! in a 0haeton drawn # fine carriage hor!e!. 5hen I wa! tin#3 0erha0! four or five #ear! o%d3 I vi!ited the "R!k# fa'i%# with '# o%de!t rother. +he# had a %arge3 we%%<ke0t garden3 with B actua%%#J B 0eacock! wa%king a out in it. I !aw the!e 'arve%ou! creature! there for the fir!t ti'e in '# %ife3 with crown! on their ca0riciou! head!3 %ove%# %itt%e 'irror! in their tai%!3 and !0ur! on their %eg!. +he 0eacock! vani!hed in after #ear!3 and 'uch 'ore went with the'D the garden fence fe%% to 0iece!3 the catt%e roke down the fruit<tree! and the f%ower!. "oi!!e# Kharitonovich now ca'e to Yanovka in a wagon drawn # far' hor!e!. +he !on! 'ade an effort to ring the 0ro0ert# u03 ut a! far'er!3 not a! gent%e'en. 95e !ha%% u# !o'e o%d nag! and drive the' in the 'orning3 a! )ron!tein doe!J? 9+he# won>t !ucceedJ? !aid '# father. 8avid wa! !ent to the Fair at E%i-avetgrad to u# the 9o%d nag!.? Ae wa%ked a out the Fair3 a00rai!ing the hor!e! with the e#e of a cava%r# 'an3 and cho!e a troika. Ae ca'e ho'e %ate in the evening. +he hou!e wa! fu%% of gue!t! in their %ight !u''er c%othe!. 1 ra' went out onto the 0orch with a %a'0 in hi! hand to %ook at the hor!e!. 1 crowd of %adie!3 !tudent! and #oung 0eo0%e fo%%owed hi'. 8avid !udden%# fe%t that he wa! in hi! e%e'ent and e/to%%ed the good 0oint! of each hor!e3 e!0ecia%%# of the one which he !aid re!e' %ed a #oung %ad#. 1 ra' !cratched hi! eard and !aid& 9+he hor!e! are a%% right.? It ended in a 0icnic. 8avid took the !%i00er! off a 0rett# #oung %ad#3 fi%%ed the' with eer3 and he%d the' to hi! %i0!. 9You aren>t going to drink itE? cried the gir%3 %u!hing either with a%ar' or with de%ight. 9If I wa!n>t afraid to !hoot '#!e%f ...? an!wered our hero3 0ouring the content! of the !%i00er down hi! throat. 98on>t a%wa#! e oa!ting of that e/0%oit of #our!J? une/0ected%# retorted hi! u!ua%%# !i%ent 'other. $he wa! a ig3 f%a # wo'an on who' fe%% a%% the urden of the hou!eho%d. 9I! that winter wheatE? 1 ra' "R!k# once inCuired of '# father3 to !how how !hrewd he wa!. 9Not !0ring wheat3 certain%#.? 9I! it Niko0o% wheatE? 9I te%% #ou it i! winter wheat.? 9I know it i! winter wheat3 ut what variet# i! itE Niko0o% or 4irkaE? 9$o'ehow or other I have never heard of Niko0o% winter wheat. Perha0! !o'e od# ha! it3 ut I haven>t got it. "ine i! $ando'ir wheat3? '# father an!wered. Nothing ca'e of the !on!> effort!. 1 #ear %ater '# father wa! %ea!ing their %and fro' the' again.

+he 4er'an !ett%er! con!tituted a grou0 a0art. +here were !o'e rea%%# rich 'en a'ong the'. +he# !tood 'ore fir'%# on their feet than the other!. +heir do'e!tic re%ation! were !tricter3 their !on! were !e%do' !ent to e educated in town3 their daughter! ha itua%%# worked in the fie%d!. +heir hou!e! were ui%t of rick with iron roof! 0ainted green or red3 their hor!e! were we%% red3 their harne!! wa! !trong3 their !0ring cart! were ca%%ed 94er'an wagon!.? Our neare!t neigh or a'ong the 4er'an! wa! Ivan Ivanovich 8orn3 a fat3 active 'an with %ow !hoe! on hi! are feet3 with a tanned and ri!t%ing face3 and gra# hair. Ae a%wa#! drove a out in a fine3 right<0ainted wagon drawn # %ack !ta%%ion! who!e hoof! thundered over the ground. 1nd there were 'an# of the!e 8orn!. 1 ove the' a%% towered the figure of Fa%-<Fein the $hee0 King3 a 9Kannitver!tan? of the !te00e!. In driving through the countr#3 one wou%d 0a!! a huge f%ock of !hee0. 95ho' do the!e e%ong toE? one wou%d a!k. 9+o Fa%-<Fein.? You 'et a ha#<wagon on the road. 5ho' wa! that ha# forE 9For Fa%-<Fein.? 1 0#ra'id of fur da!he! # in a !%eigh. It i! Fa%-<Fein>! 'anager. 1 !tring of ca'e%! !udden%# !tart%e! #ou with it! e%%owing. On%# Fa%-<Fein own! ca'e%!. Fa%-<Fein had i'0orted !ta%%ion! fro' 1'erica and u%%! fro' $wit-er%and. +he founder of thi! fa'i%#3 who wa! ca%%ed on%# Fa%- in tho!e da#!3 without the Fein3 had een a !he0herd on the e!tate of the 8uke of O%den urg. O%den urg had een granted a %arge !u' of 'one# # the govern'ent for the reeding of "erino !hee0. +he duke 'ade a out a 'i%%ion of de t! and did nothing. Fa%- ought the 0ro0ert# and 'anaged it %ike a !he0herd and not %ike a duke. Ai! f%ock! increa!ed a! we%% a! hi! 0a!ture! and hi! u!ine!!. Ai! daughter 'arried a !hee0 reeder ca%%ed Fein3 and the two 0a!tora% d#na!tie! were thu! united. +he na'e of Fa%-<Fein rang %ike the !ound of the feet of ten thou!and !hee0 in 'otion3 %ike the %eating of count%e!! !hee0 voice!3 %ike the !ound of the whi!t%e of a !he0herd of the !te00e! with hi! %ong crook on hi! ack3 %ike the arking of 'an# !hee0<dog!. +he ver# !te00e reathed thi! na'e oth in !u''er heat and winter co%d. +he fir!t five #ear! of '# %ife are ehind 'e. I a' gaining e/0erience. =ife i! fu%% of invention3 and i! @u!t a! indu!triou! at working out it! co' ination! in an o !cure %itt%e corner a! it i! on the wor%d arena. Event! crowd u0on 'e3 one after another. 1 working gir% i! rought in itten # a !nake in the fie%d. +he gir% i! wee0ing 0iteou!%#. +he# andage her !wo%%en %eg tight%# a ove the knee and athe it in a arre% of !our 'i%k. +he gir% i! taken awa# to )o rinet-3 to the ho!0ita%. $he return! and i! at work again. On her itten %eg i! a !tocking3 dirt# and tattered3 and the working'en wi%% ca%% her nothing ut 9%ad#.? +he oar<0ig gnawed at the forehead3 !hou%der! and ar'! of the 'an who wa! feeding hi'. It wa! a new3 huge oar<0ig that had een rought in to i'0rove the entire herd of 0ig!. +he fe%%ow wa! frightened to death and !o ed %ike a o#. Ae too wa! taken to the ho!0ita%. +wo #oung work'en !tanding on wagon<%oad! of !heave! of grain to!!ed 0itchfork! to each other. I fair%# devoured thi! !cene. One of the' fe%% down 'oaning with a 0itchfork in hi! !ide.

1%% thi! ha00ened in the cour!e of one !u''er. 1nd no !u''er 0a!!ed without it! event!. One autu'n night the entire wooden !u0er!tructure of the 'i%% wa! !we0t into the 0ond. +he 0i%e! had %ong !ince rotted3 and the oard wa%%! were carried awa# %ike !ai%! # the hurricane. +he engine3 the 'i%%!tone!3 the coar!e<grain grinder3 the tare<!e0arator !tood out !tark%# in the ruin!. Fro' under the oard! enor'ou! 'i%%<rat! wou%d da!h out now and then. $tea%thi%# I wou%d fo%%ow the water<carrier into the fie%d to hunt 'ar'ot!. 5ith 0reci!ion3 not too ra0id%# and not too !%ow%#3 one wou%d 0our water into the urrow and await3 with !tick in hand3 the a00earance at the o0ening of the rat<%ike !nout with it! 'atted wet hair. 1n o%d 'ar'ot wou%d re!i!t a %ong ti'e3 !to00ing u0 the urrow with hi! ru'03 ut a !econd ucket of water wou%d 'ake hi' !urrender and @u'0 out to 'eet hi! death. One had to cut off the 0aw! of the dead ani'a% and !tring the' on a thread B the 6e'!tvo L1M wou%d 0a# one ko0eck for each 'ar'ot. +he# u!ed to de'and to e !hown the tai%3 ut c%ever fe%%ow! %earned to 'ake a do-en tai%! out of the !kin of one ani'a%D !o the 6e'!tvo now reCuired the 0aw!. I wou%d return a%% wet and dirt#. 1t ho'e !uch adventure! were not encouraged. +he# 0referred 'e to !it on the divan in the dining<roo' and draw the %ind Oedi0u! and 1ntigone. One da# '# 'other and I were returning on a !%eigh fro' )o rinet-3 the neare!t town. )%inded # the !now3 %u%%ed # the ride3 I wa! drow!#. +he !%eigh overturned on a curve and I fe%% face downward. +he rug and the ha# !'othered 'e. I heard the a%ar'ed crie! of '# 'other ut wa! una %e to an!wer. +he driver3 a %arge3 red<headed #oung fe%%ow who wa! new3 %ifted the rug and found 'e. 5e re!u'ed our !eat! and continued on our wa#. )ut I egan to co'0%ain that chi%%! were running u0 and down '# !0ine. 9*hi%%!E? a!ked the red< earded driver3 turning hi! face to 'e and !howing hi! fir' white teeth. =ooking at hi! 'outh I an!wered& 9Ye!3 #ou know3 chi%%!.? +he driver %aughed. 9It>! nothing3? he added3 9we>%% e there !oonJ? and he urged on the %ight< a# hor!e. +he fo%%owing night that ver# driver vani!hed3 together with the a# hor!e. +here wa! a great to<do on the e!tate. 1 0o!!e headed # '# e%der rother wa! Cuick%# organi-ed. Ae !add%ed "ut-3 0ro'i!ing to 'ete out crue% 0uni!h'ent to the thief. 9You etter catch hi' fir!tJ? '# father !ugge!ted g%oo'i%#. +wo da#! 0a!!ed efore the 0o!!e returned. "# rother %a'ed the fog for hi! not catching the hor!e<thief. 1 hand!o'e @o%%# fe%%ow with white teeth B !uch i! a hor!e<thiefJ I !uffered fro' fever and to!!ed a out. "# ar'!3 %eg! and head were in the wa#D the# !ee'ed inf%ated3 0re!!ing again!t the wa%% and the cei%ing3 and there wa! no e!ca0e fro' a%% the!e i'0edi'ent! ecau!e the# !0rang fro' within. I wa! a%% af%a'eD '# throat 0ained. "# 'other %ooked into it3 then '# father did the !a'eD the# e/changed a%ar'ed g%ance! and decided to a00%# !o'e !a%ve to the throat. 9I a' afraid3? "other !aid3 9that =#ova ha! di0htheria.? 9If it had een di0htheria3? re0%ied Ivan (a!i%#evich3 9he wou%d have een on the !tretcher %ong ago.? (ague%# I !ur'i!ed that %#ing on the !tretcher 'eant eing dead3 a! had een the ca!e with '# #ounger !i!ter ,o-ochka. )ut I cou%d not e%ieve that the# were !0eaking of 'e3 and %i!tened ca%'%# to their ta%k. In the end it wa! decided to take 'e to )o rinet-. "# 'other wa! not ver# orthodo/3 ut on the $a ath da# !he wou%d not trave% to town. Ivan (a!i%#evich acco'0anied

'e. 5e 0ut u0 at the hou!e of =itt%e +at#ana3 our for'er !ervant3 who had 'arried in )o rinet-. $he had no chi%dren3 and therefore there wa! no danger of contagion. 8r. $hatunov!k# e/a'ined '# throat3 took '# te'0erature3 and a! u!ua% a!!erted that it wa! too ear%# to know an#thing. +at#ana gave 'e a eer< ott%e in the interior of which a co'0%ete %itt%e church had een con!tructed out of tin# !tick! and oard!. "# %eg! and ar'! cea!ed to other 'e. I recovered. 5hen did thi! occurE Not %ong efore the eginning of the new era in '# %ife. +hat ca'e a out in thi! wa#. Hnc%e 1 ra'3 an o%d egoti!t3 who wou%d neg%ect the chi%dren for week!3 ca%%ed 'e over in a right 'o'ent and a!ked& 9Now te%% 'e3 without 'incing word!3 what #ear i! itE 1h3 #ou don>t knowE It>! 1GG5J ,e0eat that and re'e' er it3 for I>%% a!k #ou again.? I cou%d not co'0rehend the 'eaning of the Cue!tion. 9Ye!3 it>! 1GG5 now3? !aid '# fir!t cou!in3 the Cuiet O%ga3 9and then it wi%% e 1GGQ.? +hi! I cou%d not e%ieve. If one ad'itted that ti'e had a na'e3 then 1GG5 !hou%d e/i!t forever3 that i!3 ver#3 ver# %ong3 %ike that %arge !tone at the thre!ho%d of the hou!e3 %ike the 'i%%3 or in fact %ike '#!e%f. )et#a3 the #ounger !i!ter of O%ga3 did not know who' to e%ieve. +he three of u! a%% fe%t di!tur ed at the thought of entering a new rea%'3 a! if !o'e one had !udden%# thrown o0en a door %eading into a dark3 e'0t# roo' where voice! echoed %oud%#. 1t %a!t I had to #ie%d. Ever# od# !ided with O%ga. 1nd !o 1GG5 eca'e the fir!t nu' ered #ear in '# con!ciou!ne!!. It 0ut an end to the for'%e!!3 0rehi!toric3 chaotic e0och of '# ear%ier %ife& fro' now on I knew a chrono%og#. I wa! !i/ #ear! o%d at the ti'e. It wa! a #ear of cro0 fai%ure!3 of cri!e!3 and of the fir!t %arge %a or di!tur ance! in ,u!!ia. )ut it wa! the inco'0rehen!i %e na'e of the #ear that had !truck 'e. 100rehen!ive%# I endeavored to divine the hidden re%ation etween ti'e and nu' er!. +here fo%%owed a !erie! of #ear! which 'oved !%ow%# at fir!t and then fa!ter and fa!ter. )ut 1GG5 !tood out a'ong!t the' a! an e%der doe!3 a! the head of the c%an. It 'arked an era. +he fo%%owing incident !tand! out. I once c%i' ed into the driver>! !eat of our aggage<wagon and3 whi%e waiting for '# father3 0icked u0 the rein!. +he #oung hor!e! raced off and 'ade for the e!tate of the 8e' ov!k#!3 f%#ing 0a!t the hou!e3 the arn3 the garden3 and acro!! the road%e!! fie%d. +here were crie! ehind and a ditch ahead. +he hor!e! tore on. On%# on the ver# edge of the ditch3 with a !werve which a%'o!t u0!et the wagon3 did the# !to0 a! if rooted to the !0ot. 1fter u! ca'e running the driver3 fo%%owed # two or three %a orer! and '# father. "# 'other wa! !crea'ing3 '# e%der !i!ter wa! wringing her hand!. "# 'other went on !crea'ing even whi%e I wa! da!hing over to her. It !hou%d a%!o e recorded that '# father3 death%# 0a%e3 treated 'e to a cou0%e of !%a0!. I wa! not even offended3 !o e/traordinar# did it a%% !ee'. It 'u!t have een in the !a'e #ear that I acco'0anied '# father on a tri0 to E%i-avetgrad. 5e !tarted at dawn3 and went !%ow%#. In )o rinet- the hor!e! were fed. 5e reached (!hiva#a LIM in the evening. 5e ca%%ed it $hviva#a out of de%icac#. +here we !ta#ed unti% da# reak3 a! ro er! were re0orted on the out!kirt!. Not a !ing%e ca0ita% in the wor%d3 neither Pari! nor New York3 'ade in after #ear! !uch an i'0re!!ion on 'e a! E%i-avetgrad with it! !idewa%k!3 green roof!3 a%conie!3 !ho0!3 0o%ice'en and red a%%oon!. For !evera% hour!3 with '# e#e! wide o0en3 I ga0ed at the face of civi%i-ation. 1 #ear %ater I egan to !tud#. One 'orning3 after getting u0 and wa!hing ha!ti%# B one a%wa#! wa!hed ha!ti%# in Yanovka B I entered the dining<roo'3 %ooking forward to the new da# and3 a ove a%%3 to the reakfa!t of tea with 'i%k and uttered cake. I found '# 'other there in the

co'0an# of a !tranger3 a %ean3 wan%# !'i%ing3 o !eCuiou! 'an. "# 'other and the !tranger %ooked at 'e in a wa# that 'ade it c%ear that I had een the !u @ect of their conver!ation. 9$hake hand!3 =#ova3? !aid '# 'other. 9"eet #our teacher.? I %ooked at the teacher with !o'e fear3 ut not without intere!t. +he teacher greeted 'e with that 'i%dne!! with which ever# teacher greet! hi! future 0u0i% in the 0re!ence of 0arent!. "other co'0%eted the u!ine!! arrange'ent! right efore 'e& for !o 'an# rou %e! and !o 'an# !ack! of f%our the teacher undertook to in!truct 'e at hi! !choo% in the co%on#3 in ,u!!ian3 arith'etic3 and the O%d +e!ta'ent in the origina% Ae rew. +he e/tent of the in!truction3 however3 wa! %eft rather vague3 a! '# 'other wa! none too co'0etent in !uch 'atter!. $i00ing '# tea with 'i%k3 I !ee'ed to ta!te the co'ing change in '# de!tin#. +he fo%%owing $unda# '# father took 'e to the co%on# and 0%aced 'e with 1unt ,ache%. 1t the !a'e ti'e we rought her a %oad of 0roduce3 inc%uding wheat f%our3 ar%e# f%our3 uck wheat3 and 'i%%et. +he di!tance fro' 4ro'ok%e# to Yanovka wa! four (ersts. +hrough the co%on# ran a ravine& on the one !ide wa! the 7ewi!h !ett%e'ent3 on the other3 the 4er'an. +he two 0art! !tood out in !har0 contra!t. In the 4er'an !ection the hou!e! were neat3 0art%# roofed with ti%e and 0art%# with reed!3 the hor!e! %arge3 the cow! !%eek. In the 7ewi!h !ection the ca in! were di%a0idated3 the roof! tattered3 the catt%e !crawn#. It i! !trange that '# fir!t !choo% %eft ver# few i'0re!!ion!& a !%ate %ack oard on which I fir!t traced the %etter! of the ,u!!ian a%0ha etD the !kinn# inde/<finger of the teacher ho%ding a 0enD the reading of the )i %e in uni!onD the 0uni!h'ent of !o'e o# for !tea%ing B a%% vague frag'ent!3 'i!t# it!3 not a !ing%e vivid 0icture. Perha0! the e/ce0tion wa! the wife of the teacher3 a ta%%3 0ort%# wo'an who fro' ti'e to ti'e took a 0art in our !choo% %ife3 a%wa#! une/0ected%#. Once during a !e!!ion !he co'0%ained to her hu! and that the new f%our had a 0ecu%iar odor3 and when he 0ut hi! !har0 no!e to her handfu% of f%our3 !he threw it in hi! face. +hat wa! her idea of a @oke. +he o#! and gir%! %aughed. On%# the teacher %ooked downca!t. I 0itied hi'3 !tanding in the 'id!t of hi! c%a!! with a 0owdered face. I %ived with '# good 1unt ,ache% without eing aware of her. On the !a'e court#ard3 in the 'ain hou!e3 Hnc%e 1 ra' ru%ed. Ae treated hi! ne0hew! and niece! with co'0%ete indifference. Once in a whi%e he wou%d !ing%e 'e out3 invite 'e in and treat 'e to a one with 'arrow3 adding& 9I wou%dn>t take ten rou %e! for thi! one.? "# unc%e>! hou!e wa! a%'o!t at the entrance to the co%on#. 1t the o00o!ite end %ived a ta%%3 dark3 thin 7ew who had the na'e of eing a hor!e<thief and of carr#ing on un!avor# dea%!. Ae had a daughter B !he too had a du iou! re0utation. Not far fro' the hor!e<thief %ived the ca0<'aker3 !titching awa# on hi! 'achine B a #oung 7ew with a fier# red eard. +he wife of the ca0<'aker wou%d co'e to the officia% in!0ector of the co%on#3 who a%wa#! !ta#ed at the hou!e of Hnc%e 1 ra'3 to co'0%ain again!t the daughter of the hor!e<thief for !tea%ing her hu! and. 100arent%# the in!0ector offered no aid. ,eturning fro' !choo% one da#3 I !aw a 'o dragging a #oung wo'an3 the daughter of the hor!e<thief3 through the !treet. +he 'o wa! !houting3 !crea'ing3 and !0itting at her. +hi! i %ica% !cene wa! engraved on '# 'e'or# forever. $evera% #ear! %ater

Hnc%e 1 ra' 'arried thi! ver# wo'an. )# that ti'e her father3 # action of the co%onie!3 had een e/i%ed to $i eria a! an unde!ira %e 'e' er of the co''unit#. "# for'er nur!e "a!ha wa! a !ervant in the ho'e of Hnc%e 1 ra'. I freCuent%# ran to her in the kitchenD !he !#' o%i-ed '# ond with Yanovka. "a!ha had vi!itor!3 !o'e ti'e! rather i'0atient one!3 and then I wou%d e gent%# u!hered out. One right 'orning I %earned3 together with the re!t of the chi%dren in the co%on#3 that "a!ha had given irth to a a #. 5ith great re%i!h we whi!0ered a out it !ecret%#. 1 few da#! %ater '# 'other arrived fro' Yanovka and went to the kitchen to !ee "a!ha and the chi%d. I !neaked in ehind '# 'other. "a!ha wa! wearing a kerchief which ca'e down to her e#e!. On a wide ench wa! the tin# creature3 %#ing on it! !ide. "# 'other %ooked at "a!ha3 then at the chi%d3 and then !hook her head re0roachfu%%#3 !a#ing nothing. "a!ha continued !i%ent3 with e#e! downca!tD then !he %ooked at the infant and !aid& 9=ook how he 0ut! hi! %itt%e hand under hi! cheek %ike a grown<u0. 98on>t #ou 0it# hi'E? '# 'other a!ked. 9No3? re0%ied "a!ha deceitfu%%#3 9he i! !o !weet.? 9It>! a %ie3 #ou are !orr#3? retorted '# 'other in a conci%iator# tone. +he tin# infant died a week %ater a! '#!teriou!%# a! it had co'e into the wor%d. I often %eft !choo% and returned to '# vi%%age3 re'aining there a%'o!t a week at a ti'e. I had no inti'ate friend! a'ong '# !choo%'ate!3 a! I did not !0eak Yiddi!h. +he !choo% !ea!on %a!ted on%# a few 'onth!. 1%% of which 'a# e/0%ain the 0aucit# of '# reco%%ection! of thi! 0eriod. 1nd #et $hufer B that wa! the na'e of the 4ro'ok%e# teacher B had taught 'e to read and write3 oth of which !tood 'e in good !tead in '# %ater %ife3 and for that rea!on I re'e' er '# fir!t teacher with gratitude. I egan to 'ake '# wa# through %ine! of 0rint. I co0ied ver!e. I even wrote ver!e '#!e%f. =ater on I !tarted a 'aga-ine3 together with '# cou!in3 $en#a 6. 1nd #et the new 0ath wa! a thorn# one. $carce%# had I 'a!tered the art of writing when it !educed 'e. Once3 whi%e a%one in the dining<roo'3 I egan to 0ut down in 0rinted !cri0t !uch !0ecia% word! a! I had heard in the !ho0 and in the kitchen and which I had never heard fro' '# fa'i%#. I rea%i-ed that I wa! doing !o'ething which I !hou%d not e doing3 ut the word! %ured 'e @u!t ecau!e the# were for idden. I had decided to hide the %itt%e 0a0er in an e'0t# 'atch< o/ and then to ur# it ehind the arn. I wa! far fro' co'0%eting the %i!t when '# e%der !i!ter entered the roo'3 and eca'e intere!ted. I !ei-ed the 0a0er. "# 'other ca'e in after '# !i!ter. +he# de'anded that I !how the' the writing. )urning with !ha'e3 I threw the 0a0er e hind the divan. "# !i!ter tried to reach for it3 ut I cried out h#!terica%%#& 9I>%% get it '#!e%f.? I craw%ed under the divan and there tore the 0a0er into it!. +here were no ound! to '# de!0air3 nor to '# tear!. It 'u!t have een during *hri!t'a! week of 1GGQ3 ecau!e I a%read# knew how to write at the ti'e3 that a troo0 of 'u''er! tu' %ed into the dining<roo' one evening whi%e we were at tea. It wa! !o !udden that I fe%% on the divan fro' fright. I wa! Cuieted3 and %i!tened avid%# to 9*-ar "a/i'i%ian.? For the fir!t ti'e a fanta!tic wor%d wa! revea%ed to 'e3 a wor%d tran!for'ed into a theatrica% rea%it#. I wa! a'a-ed when I %earned that the 'ain ro%e wa! eing 0%a#ed # the

working 'an Prokhor3 a for'er !o%dier. Ne/t da#3 with 0enci% and 0a0er in hand3 I 0enetrated into the !ervant!> Cuarter! after dinner3 and e!ought *-ar "a/i'i%ian to dictate hi! 'ono%ogue! to 'e. Prokhor wa! none too wi%%ing3 ut I c%ung to hi'3 egged3 de'anded3 i'0%ored3 gave hi' no 0eace. Fina%%# we 'ade our!e%ve! co'forta %e at the window3 and I egan to record3 u!ing the !cratched window<!i%% a! a ta %e3 the rh#'ed !0eech of *-ar "a/i'i%ian. Five 'inute! had !carce%# 0a!!ed when '# father a00eared at the door3 took in the !cene at the window and !tern%# !aid& 9=#ova3 to #our roo'J? Incon!o%a %e3 I cried on the divan a%% afternoon. I co'0o!ed ver!e!3 fee %e %ine! which 0erha0! !howed '# ear%# %ove for word! ut certain%# foreca!t no 0oetica% future. "# e%der !i!ter knew of '# ver!e!3 through her '# 'other knew3 and through '# 'other3 '# father. +he# wou%d a!k 'e to read '# ver!e! a%oud efore gue!t!. It wa! 0ainfu%%# e' arra!!ing. I wou%d refu!e. +he# wou%d urge 'e3 at fir!t gent%#3 then with irritation3 fina%%# with threat!. $o'eti'e! I wou%d run awa#3 ut '# e%der! knew how to get what the# wanted. 5ith a 0ounding heart3 with tear! in '# e#e!3 I wou%d read '# ver!e!3 a!ha'ed of '# orrowed %ine! and %i'0ing rh#'e!. )e that a! it 'a#3 I had ta!ted of the tree of know%edge. =ife wa! unfo%ding3 not 'ere%# dai%# ut even hour%#. Fro' the torn divan in the dining<roo' thread! !tretched to other wor%d!. ,eading o0ened a new era in '# %ife.

'otes
1. 1n e%ective rura% organi-ation in charge of the ad'ini!tration of countr# di!trict!. B Translator I. In the ,u!!ian thi! 'ean! 9%ou!#.? B Translator

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&D())A9 M4 FAM0L4 A'D M4 )%3&&L

In 1GGG3 great event! egan to take 0%ace in '# %ife& I wa! !ent off to Ode!!a to !tud#. It ha00ened thi! wa#& "# 'other>! ne0hew3 "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich $ch0ent-er3 a 'an of a out

twent#<eight3 !0ent a !u''er in our vi%%age. Ae wa! a fine and inte%%igent 0er!on who for a 'inor 0o%itica% offen!e had een arred fro' the univer!it# on hi! graduation fro' high !choo%. Ae wa! a it of a @ourna%i!t and a it of a !tati!tician. Ae ca'e out to the countr# to fight off tu ercu%o!i!. "on#a3 a! he wa! ca%%ed3 wa! the 0ride of hi! 'other and of hi! !evera% !i!ter!3 oth ecau!e of hi! a i%itie! and e cau!e of hi! fine character. "# fa'i%# inherited thi! re!0ect for hi'. Ever# od# wa! 0%ea!ed at the 0ro!0ect of hi! arriva%. Suiet%# I !hared thi! fee%ing. 5hen "on#a entered the dining<roo' I wa! at the thre!ho%d of the !o<ca%%ed 9nur!er#? B a tin# corner roo' and did not have enough courage to co'e forward ecau!e '# !hoe! had two ga0ing ho%e!. +hi! wa! not due to 0overt# the fa'i%# at the ti'e wa! a%read# we%%<to<do ut to the indifference of countr# fo%k3 to over< urdening toi%3 to the %ow %eve% of our ho'e !tandard!. 9Ae%%o3 o#3? !aid "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich3 9co'e here.? 9Ae%%o3? the o# an!wered3 ut did not udge fro' hi! 0%ace. +he# e/0%ained to the gue!t3 with a gui%t# %augh3 wh# I did not !tir. Ae gai%# re%ieved 'e of '# e' arra!!'ent # %ifting 'e acro!! the thre!ho%d and e' racing 'e hearti%#. "on#a wa! the centre of attention at dinner. "other !erved hi' the e!t cut!3 a!king how he en@o#ed hi! food and what hi! favorite di!he! were. In the evening3 after the herd had een driven into the cow0en3 "on#a !aid to 'e& 9*o'e on3 %et>! get !o'e fre!h 'i%k. +ake a%ong !o'e g%a!!e! ... Now dar%ing3 #ou !hou%d ho%d the g%a!!e! with #our finger! on the out!ide3 not on the in!ide? Fro' "on#a I %earned 'an# thing! I did not know& how to ho%d a g%a!!3 how to wa!h3 how to 0ronounce certain word!3 and wh# 'i%k fre!h fro' the cow i! good for the che!t. Ae wa%ked a %ot3 he wrote3 he 0%a#ed nine0in!3 he taught 'e arith'etic and ,u!!ian gra''ar3 0re0aring 'e for the fir!t c%a!! of the gy#nasiu#. Ae enra0tured 'e ut at the !a'e ti'e di!Cuieted 'e. One !en!ed in hi' the e%e'ent of a 'ore e/acting di!ci0%ine in %ife B the e%e'ent of cit# civi%i-ation. "on#a wa! friend%# to hi! countr# re%ative!. Ae @e!ted a %ot and !o'eti'e! hu''ed in a !oft tenor voice. 1t ti'e! he !ee'ed g%oo'# and at the dinner<ta %e wou%d !it !i%ent3 !unk in 'editation. Ae wou%d get an/iou! g%ance! and wou%d e a!ked if !o'ething ai%ed hi'. Ai! an!wer! were rief and eva!ive. On%# toward the end of hi! !ta# in the vi%%age3 and then on%# vague%#3 did I egin to !ur'i!e the cau!e of hi! 'ood# !0e%%!. "on#a wa! u0!et # the rude 'anner! of the vi%%age or # !o'e in@u!tice. It wa! not that hi! unc%e or aunt were e!0ecia%%# !tern 'a!ter! that cannot e !aid under an# circu'!tance!. +he nature of the 0revai%ing re%ation! with the %a orer! and 0ea!ant! wa! in no !en!e wor!e than on other e!tate!. )ut it wa! not 'uch etter and thi! 'ean! that it wa! o00re!!ive. 5hen the over!eer once !truck a !he0herd with a %ong knout ecau!e he had ke0t the hor!e! out %ate3 "on#a grew 0a%e and hi!!ed etween hi! teeth3 9Aow !ha'efu%J? 1nd I fe%t that it wa! !ha'efu%. I do not know if I wou%d have fe%t the !a'e wa# if he had not 'ade hi! re'ark I a' inc%ined to think I wou%d. )ut in an# event he he%0ed 'e to fee% that wa#3 and thi! a%one wa! enough to in!ti% in 'e a %ife%ong !en!e of gratitude. $ch0ent-er wa! a out to 'arr# the 0rinci0a% of the $tate $choo% for 7ewi!h 4ir%!. No one in Yanovka knew her3 ut ever# od# a!!u'ed that !he 'u!t e out of the ordinar#3 ecau!e !he wa! a !choo% 0rinci0a% and "on#a>! ride. It wa! decided to !end 'e to Ode!!a the fo%%owing !0ringD

there I wou%d %ive with the $ch0ent-er! and attend the gy#nasiu#. +he tai%or of the co%on# !o'ehow fitted 'e out. 1 %arge trunk wa! 0acked with ve!!e%! containing utter3 @ar! fu%% of @a' and other gift! for the cit# re%ative!. +he farewe%% wa! a %ong one. I we0t co0iou!%#3 !o did '# 'other3 and !o did '# !i!ter!3 and for the fir!t ti'e I fe%t how dear to 'e wa! Yanovka3 with a%% it he%d. 5e drove to the !tation acro!! the !te00e3 and I we0t unti% we ca'e out on the 'ain road. Fro' Nov# )ug we took the train to Niko%a#ev3 where we tran!ferred to a !tea' oat. +he !iren !ent !hiver! down '# !0ineD it !ounded %ike the ca%% to a new %ife. +he !ea wa! ahead of u!3 for we were !ti%% on the ,iver )ug. 1 great dea% indeed wa! ahead. +here wa! the 0ier3 the ca 'an3 the Pokrov!k# 1%%e#3 and a ig o%d hou!e where the $choo% for 4ir%! and it! 0rinci0a% were %odged. I wa! !crutini-ed fro' ever# ang%e. Fir!t a #oung wo'an3 then an o%der one3 her 'other3 ki!!ed 'e on the forehead and oth cheek!. "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich @e!ted in hi! u!ua% 'anner3 inCuiring a out Yanovka3 it! inha itant!3 and even the fa'i%iar cow!. +o 'e the cow! !ee'ed !uch in!ignificant eing! that I wa! e' arra!!ed to di!cu!! the' in !uch !e%ect co'0an#. +he a0art'ent wa! none too %arge. I wa! a!!igned a corner in the dining<roo'3 ehind a curtain. 1nd it wa! here that I !0ent the fir!t four #ear! of '# !choo% %ife. 1%% at once I found '#!e%f in the gri0 of that a%%uring ut e/acting di!ci0%ine which "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich radiated when he wa! with u! in the countr#. +he regi'e wa! not !tern ut it wa! regu%arD it wa! on that account that it !ee'ed !evere in the eginning. I had to go to ed at nine. +hi! hour gradua%%# receded a! I advanced in the !choo%. I wa! re'inded at ever# turn not to fai% to !a# good<'orning3 to kee0 '# hand! and finger<nai%! tid#3 not to eat with a knife3 not to e tard#3 a%wa#! to thank the !ervant!3 and not to !0eak i%% of 0eo0%e ehind their ack!. I %earned that !core! of word! which !ee'ed e#ond Cue!tion at ho'e were not ,u!!ian ut Hkrainian @argon. Ever# da# there wa! revea%ed to 'e !o'e a!0ect of a cu%tura% environ'ent greater than that in which I had 0a!!ed the fir!t nine #ear! of '# %ife. Even the !ho0 at ho'e egan to di' and to %o!e it! 'agic a! co'0ared with the !0e%% of c%a!!ica% %iterature and the char' of the theatre. I wa! eco'ing a %itt%e ur anite. Occa!iona%%#3 however3 the vi%%age wou%d f%are u0 in '# con!ciou!ne!! and draw 'e on %ike a %o!t 0aradi!e. +hen I wou%d 0ine3 wander a out3 and trace with '# finger on the window<0ane 'e!!age! to '# 'other3 or I wou%d cr# into '# 0i%%ow. =ife in the ho'e of "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich wa! 'ode!t. Ae had are%# 'ean! enough to 'ake end! 'eet. +he head of the fa'i%# had no !tead# work. Ae did tran!%ation! of the 4reek tragedie! with co''entarie!3 he wrote ta%e! for chi%dren3 he !tudied $ch%oe!!er and other hi!torian!3 0%anning to co'0i%e gra0hic chrono%ogica% ta %e!3 and he he%0ed hi! wife to conduct the !choo%. It wa! %ater that he for'ed a !'a%% 0u %i!hing hou!e which grew with difficu%t# in the fir!t #ear! ut ro!e to a high 0o!ition !u !eCuent%#. In a out ten or twe%ve #ear! he eca'e the out!tanding 0u %i!her in !outhern ,u!!ia3 the owner of a %arge 0rinting e!ta %i!h'ent and of a 0rivate re!idence. I %ived for !i/ #ear! with thi! fa'i%#3 during the fir!t 0eriod of the 0u %i!hing concern. I eca'e ver# fa'i%iar with t#0e3 'ake<u03 %a#<out3 0rinting3 0aging3 and inding. Proof reading wa! '# favorite 0a!ti'e. "# %ove for the fre!h%# 0rinted 0age ha! it! origin in tho!e far<awa# #ear! a! a !choo% o#. 1! wou%d e the ca!e in ourgeoi!3 e!0ecia%%# 0ett# ourgeoi!3 ho'e!3 the !ervant occu0ied not a !'a%% a%though not a noticea %e rF%e in '# %ife. +he fir!t 'aid3 8a!ha3 'ade 'e her !ecret confidant3 entru!ting her variou! !ecret! to 'e. 1fter dinner3 when ever# od# wa! re!ting3 I

wou%d !tea%thi%# 'ake for the kitchen. +here 8a!ha wou%d give 'e fragrant! of her %ife and te%% 'e of her fir!t %ove. 8a!ha wa! fo%%owed # a divorced 7ewe!! fro' 7ito'ir. 95hat a ra!ca% he wa!3? !he wou%d co'0%ain of her for'er hu! and. I egan to teach her how to read. Ever# da# !he wou%d !0end not %e!! than ha%f an hour at '# de!k3 tr#ing to 0enetrate into the '#!ter# of the a%0ha et and the for'ation of word!. )# thi! ti'e there wa! an infant in the fa'i%#3 and a wet< nur!e wa! taken in. I wrote %etter! for her. $he co'0%ained of her trou %e! to her hu! and3 who wa! in 1'erica. 1t her reCue!t I 0ainted the' in the darke!t co%or!3 adding that 9our a # i! the on%# right !tar on the dark !k# %ine of '# %ife.? +he nur!e wa! in ec!ta!#. I '#!e%f reread the %etter a%oud with !o'e !ati!faction3 a%though the c%o!ing 0art3 where there wa! !o'ething a out !ending do%%ar!3 e' arra!!ed 'e. +hen !he added& 91nd now3 one 'ore %etter.? 9+o who'E? I a!ked3 0re0aring for the creative ta!k. 9+o '# cou!in3? re0%ied the nur!e !o'ewhat uncertain%#. +hi! %etter a%!o !0oke of her dark %ife3 ut !aid nothing a out the !tar3 and ended with a !ugge!tion that !he vi!it hi' if he !o de!ired. Aard%# had the nur!e %eft with the %etter! when '# 0u0i%3 the 'aid3 who had a00arent%# een eave!dro00ing3 a00eared. 9)ut he i!n>t at a%% a cou!in of her!3? !he whi!0ered to 'e indignant%#. 95hat i! he thenE? I a!ked. 97u!t !o'e od#3? !he re0%ied. 1nd I had occa!ion to conte'0%ate the co'0%e/it# of hu'an re%ation!. 1t dinner Fann# $o%o'onovna L1M !aid to 'e3 !'i%ing !trange%#& 9Aow a out !o'e 'ore !ou03 authorE? 95hatE? I a!ked3 a%ar'ed. 9Oh nothing3 #ou co'0o!ed a %etter for the wet<nur!e3 !o #ou are an author. Aow did #ou 0ut it& a !tar on the dark !k#<%ineE B an author3 indeedJ? 1nd no %onger a %e to re!train her!e%f3 !he ur!t out %aughing. 9It>! we%% written3? !aid "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich !oothing%#3 9 ut #ou know3 #ou !hou%dn>t write %etter! for her an# 'oreD %et Fann# her!e%f write the'.? +he ewi%dering wrong !ide of %ife3 recogni-ed neither at ho'e nor at !choo%3 did not however cea!e to e/i!t ecau!e of that3 and 0roved !ufficient%# 0owerfu% and a%%<0ervading to co''and attention even fro' a ten<#ear<o%d o#. )arred fro' the !choo%roo' a! we%% a! fro' the front door of the ho'e3 it found it! wa# in through the kitchen. +he %aw %i'iting the ad'i!!ion of 7ew! to the !tate !choo%! to ten 0er cent of the entire nu' er wa! fir!t introduced in 1GG;. It wa! an a%'o!t ho0e%e!! effort to gain entrance into a gy#nasiu#3 reCuiring 90u%%? or ri er#. +he realschule differed fro' the gy#nasiu# in the a !ence fro' it! curricu%u' of ancient %anguage! and in it! roader cour!e in 'athe'atic!3 natura% !cience! and 'odern %anguage!. +he ten 0er cent !tatute a00%ied a%!o to the realschule. In the ca!e of the %atter3 the !trea' of a00%icant! wa! !'a%%er and the chance! for ad'i!!ion were therefore greater. For a %ong ti'e a de ate raged in the new!0a0er! and 'aga-ine! a! to the 'erit! of a c%a!!ica% v!. a

realschule education. +he con!ervative! he%d that c%a!!ici!' fo!ter! di!ci0%ine B it wa! 'ore %ike%# a ho0e that the citi-en who had endured 4reek in hi! chi%dhood wou%d e a %e to endure the *-ari!t regi'e the re!t of hi! %ife. +he %i era%!3 on the other hand3 without re0udiating c%a!!ici!'3 which i! a !ort of a fo!ter< rother to %i era%i!'3 !ince oth trace their origin to the ,enai!!ance3 !ti%% favored the realschule. 5hen I wa! a out to !tart '# high<!choo% education3 the!e de ate! had died down3 the re!u%t of a !0ecia% order 0rohi iting di!cu!!ion a! to which wa! the 'ore de!ira %e t#0e of education. In the fa%%3 I took '# e/a'ination! for the fir!t c%a!! of the $t. Pau% realschule. I 0a!!ed the entrance e/a'ination with average 'ark!& a 93? in ,u!!ian3 a 9T? in arith'etic. LIM +hi! wa! not enough3 a! the ten 0er cent !tatute 'eant the 'o!t rigid !e%ection co'0%icated3 of cour!e3 # ri er#. It wa! decided to 0ut 'e in the 0re0arator# c%a!!3 attached to the !choo% a! a 0rivate in!titution. 7ew! were tran!ferred fro' there to the fir!t c%a!! according to the !tatute3 it i! true3 ut with 0reference over out!ider!. +he $t. Pau% $choo% had origina%%# een a 4er'an in!titution. It had een founded # the =utheran 0ari!h to !erve the nu'erou! 4er'an re!ident! of Ode!!a and of the !outhern di!trict in genera%. 1%though the $t. Pau% $choo% wa! endowed with a%% !tate right!3 it wa! nece!!ar#3 ecau!e it had on%# !i/ grade!3 to take the !eventh #ear at another realschule in order to e ad'itted to a univer!it#. 100arent%# the a!!u'0tion wa! that in the %a!t grade the re'nant! of the 4er'an !0irit wou%d e wi0ed out. +hi! !0irit3 # the wa#3 waned in the $t. Pau% $choo% #ear # #ear. 4er'an! for'ed %e!! than ha%f of the !tudent od#. +he 4er'an! on the !taff were 0er!i!tent%# eing forced out. +he fir!t da#! of !tud# at !choo% were da#! of !orrowD then the# eca'e da#! of @o#. I !tarted for !choo% in a rand<new unifor'3 wearing a new ca0 with a #e%%ow order and a re'arka %e 'eta% adge which contained3 etween two trefoi%!3 the co'0%icated 'onogra' of the !choo%. On '# ack wa! a rand<new %eather !choo%< ag3 ho%ding new te/t< ook! in right inding! and a hand!o'e 0enci%<ca!e !tuffed with fre!h%# !har0ened 0enci%!3 a new 0enho%der3 and an era!er. In tran!0ort!3 I carried thi! entire3 'agnificent %oad through the %ong H!0en!k# $treet3 ha00# that the di!tance to the !choo% wa! great. It !ee'ed to 'e that the 0a!!er!< # %ooked with a'a-e'ent and !o'eti'e! even with env# at '# a!toni!hing eCui0'ent. +ru!ting%# and with intere!t I !urve#ed ever# od# I 'et. +hen3 Cuite !udden%#3 a ta%% !kinn# o# of a out thirteen3 evident%# a !ho0<a00rentice3 for he carried !o'e tin o @ect3 !to00ed in front of thi! !u0er !choo% o# and co'ing within a !te0 or two3 threw hi! head ack3 'ade a %oud noi!e and !0at a'0%# at the !hou%der of '# new @acket. =ooking conte'0tuou!%# at 'e3 he 0a!!ed on without a word. 5hat 'ade hi' do itE I know the rea!on now. +he i'0overi!hed o#3 dre!!ed a tattered !hirt3 with roken oot! on are feet3 the o# who!e @o it wa! to carr# out the dirt# errand! of hi! 'a!ter! whi%e their 0a'0ered !on! f%aunted !choo% unifor'!3 vented u0on 'e hi! !en!e of !ocia% 0rote!t. )ut at the ti'e I wa! not intere!ted in genera%itie!. I wi0ed '# !hou%der for a %ong ti'e with !o'e %eave!3 oi%ing within fro' the he%0%e!! in!u%t3 and co'0%eted the %a!t 0art of '# @ourne# in a g%oo'# 'ood. +he !econd %ow awaited 'e in the court#ard of the !choo%. 9Peter Pav%ovich3? the o#! cried3 9here i! another fro' the 0re0arator# c%a!! in unifor'J? 5hat did that 'eanE It a00eared that the 0re0arator# !choo% wa! a 0rivate affair3 and it! 'e' er! were !trict%# for idden to don the $t.

Pau% unifor'. Peter Pav%ovich3 the %ack< earded 'onitor3 e/0%ained to 'e that I 'u!t re'ove the adge3 the raid and the e%t< uck%e3 and 'u!t re0%ace the utton!3 which had an eag%e !ta'0ed on the'3 with ordinar# one!. +hi! wa! '# !econd 'i!fortune. +hat da# there were no c%a!!e! at !choo%. +he 4er'an 0u0i%! and 'an# other! were a%% gathered in the =utheran church who!e na'e the !choo% ore. I found '#!e%f under the guidance of a thick<!et o# who had een %eft in the 0re0arator# c%a!! for a !econd #ear and who knew the !#!te'. Ae 0ut 'e ne/t to hi' on a ench at the church. For the fir!t ti'e I heard an organ3 and it! !ound! fi%%ed 'e with Cuiver!. +hen a00eared a ta%%3 !haven 'an3 the facing of hi! coat a%% whiteD hi! voice rever erated through the church %ike a !erie! of wave!. +he !trangene!! of hi! !0eech accentuated tenfo%d the grandeur of hi! !er'on. 95ho i! that !0eakingE? I a!ked3 a%% agitated. 9It>! Pa!tor )inne'an hi'!e%f3? e/0%ained '# new friend3 *ar%!on. 9Ae>! a terri %# wi!e 'an3 the wi!e!t in Ode!!a. 91nd what i! he !a#ingE? 95e%%3 #ou know3 the regu%ar thing!3? !aid *ar%!on with 'uch %e!! enthu!ia!'. 9+hat one !hou%d e a good 0u0i%3 !tud# hard3 get a%ong we%% with the o#!.? +hi! heav#<@awed ad'irer of )inne'an turned out to e a 'o!t o !tinate !%uggard and a terri %e !cra00er who3 during rece!!e!3 di!tri uted %ack e#e! right and %eft. +he !econd da# rought it! co'fort!. I 0ro'0t%# di!tingui!hed '#!e%f in arith'etic3 and co0ied the %e!!on fro' the %ack oard we%%. +he teacher3 ,ud#enko3 0rai!ed 'e efore the entire c%a!! and gave 'e two 9five!.? +hi! reconci%ed 'e to the 0%ain utton! on '# @acket. +he director hi'!e%f3 *hri!tian *hri!tianovich $chwanne ach3 taught 4er'an to the @unior c%a!!e!. Ae wa! a !%eek officia% who had attained hi! high 0o!ition on%# ecau!e he wa! the rother<in<%aw of )inne'an hi'!e%f. *hri!tian *hri!tianovitch egan # e/a'ining the hand! of a%% the 0u0i%!. Ae found that 'ine were c%ean. +hen3 when I had co0ied hi! %e!!on fro' the %ack oard accurate%#3 the director voiced hi! a00rova% and gave 'e a 95.? +hu! it ca'e a out that after the fir!t actua% da# of !choo% I wa! returning with a %oad of three 9e/ce%%ent? 'ark!. I carried the' in '# %eather kit %ike a trea!ure3 and ran rather than wa%ked into the Pokrov!k# 1%%e#3 driven # the thir!t for ho'e g%or#. $o I eca'e a !choo% o#. I wou%d ri!e ear%#3 drink '# 'orning tea in a hurr#3 thru!t a 0ackage containing '# %unch into '# overcoat 0ocket3 and run to !choo% in order to reach there in ti'e for the 'orning 0ra#er. I wa! not tard#. I wa! Cuiet at '# de!k. I %i!tened attentive%# and co0ied carefu%%#. I worked di%igent%# at ho'e over '# %e!!on!. I went to ed at the 0re!cri ed hour3 in order to hurr# through '# tea the fo%%owing 'orning and run to !choo% for fear of eing %ate for the 0ra#er. I 0a!!ed fro' grade to grade without difficu%t#. 5henever I 'et one of '# teacher! in the !treet3 I owed with a%% 0o!!i %e deference. +he 0ercentage of freak! a'ong 0eo0%e in genera% i! ver# con!idera %e3 ut it i! e!0ecia%%# high a'ong teacher!. In the $t. Pau% realschule the %eve% of the teacher! wa! 0erha0! a ove the average. +he !tanding of the !choo% wa! high3 and not without rea!on. +he regi'e wa! !tern and e/actingD the rein! were drawn tighter and tighter ever# #ear3 e!0ecia%%# after the director>! 0ower had 0a!!ed fro' the hand! of $chwanne ach into tho!e of Niko%a# 1ntonovich Kainin!k#.

Ae wa! a 0h#!ici!t # 0rofe!!ion3 a hu'anit#<hater # te'0era'ent Ae never %ooked at the 0er!on with who' he ta%kedD he 'oved a out the corridor! and the c%a!!roo'! noi!e%e!!%# on ru er hee%!. Ae !0oke in a !'a%%3 hoar!e3 fa%!etto voice which3 without eing rai!ed3 cou%d e terrif#ing. Outward%# Ka'in!k# !ee'ed even in te'0er3 ut inward%# he wa! a%wa#! in a !tate of ha itua% irritation. Ai! attitude toward even the e!t !tudent! wa! one of ar'ed neutra%it#. +hat3 incidenta%%#3 wa! hi! attitude toward 'e. In hi! ca0acit# of 0h#!ici!t3 Ka'in!k# invented a !0ecia% a00aratu! to de'on!trate the )o#%e< "ariotte %aw of the re!i!tance of ga!e!. 1fter each de'on!tration3 there were a%wa#! two or three o#! who in a !tudied whi!0er wou%d e/change the word!3 95e%% doneJ? $o'e one wou%d ri!e and in a dou tfu% tone inCuire& 91nd who i! the inventor of thi! a00aratu!E? Ka'in!k# wou%d an!wer ca!ua%%# in hi! fro-en fa%!etto& 9I ui%t it.? Ever# od# wou%d e/change g%ance!3 and the two<'ark o#! wou%d e'it a! %oud a !igh of ra0ture a! 0o!!i %e. 1fter $chwanne ach had een re0%aced # Ka'in!k# a! a 'ea!ure for ,u!!ification3 the teacher of %iterature3 1nton (a!i%#evich Kri-hanov!k#3 eca'e the in!0ector of the !choo%. Ae wa! a red< earded3 craft# fe%%ow3 an e/<theo%ogian3 a great %over of gift! a 'an with a !%ight%# %i era% tendenc#3 ver# c%ever at di!gui!ing hi! de!ign! under an a!!u'ed kind%ine!!. 1! !oon a! he wa! a00ointed in!0ector he eca'e 'ore rigorou! and con!ervative. Kri-hanov!k# taught ,u!!ian fro' the fir!t grade u0ward. Ae !ing%ed 'e out for '# gra''ar and %ove of the %anguage. Ae 'ade it a fi/ed ru%e to read '# written work! a%oud to the c%a!!3 giving 'e a 'ark of 95 0%u!.? +he 'athe'atician3 Yurchenko3 wa! a !tu #3 0h%eg'atic3 !hrewd 0er!on3 who wa! known a! the 9bindyu7hni$3? which in Ode!!a !%ang 'eant a 9heav# truck<driver.? Yurchenko addre!!ed ever# od#3 fro' the fir!t grade to the %a!t3 # the fa'i%iar 9thou3? and wa! not finick# a out hi! e/0re!!ion!. 5ith hi! con!i!tent gruffne!!3 he in!0ired a certain a'ount of re!0ect which 'e%ted awa#3 however3 in the cour!e of ti'e3 for the o#! %earned that Yurchenko took ri e!. +he other teacher! were a%!o !u!ce0ti %e to ri er# in one for' or another. 1 ackward 0u0i%3 if he wa! fro' out of town3 wou%d e %odged with that teacher who' he needed 'o!t. If the 0u0i% ha00ened to e a %oca% re!ident3 he wou%d e'0%o# the threatening 0edagogue a! a 0rivate tutor at a high 0rice. +he !econd 'athe'atician3 6%otchan!k#3 wa! the o00o!ite of Yurchenko. Ae wa! thin3 with a 0rick%# 'u!tache on a greeni!h<#e%%ow faceD hi! e#e a%%! were 'udd#3 hi! 'ove'ent! a! !%uggi!h a! if he had @u!t awakened. Ae coughed noi!i%# and !0at in the c%a!!roo'. It wa! known that he had had an unha00# %ove<affair3 that he wa! di!!i0ating and drinking. 1%though not a ad 'athe'atician3 6%otchan!k# wou%d !tare e#ond hi! 0u0i%!3 e#ond hi! !tudie!3 and even e#ond hi! 'athe'atic!. $evera% #ear! %ater he cut hi! throat with a ra-or. "# re%ation! with the two 'athe'atician! were !'ooth and 0%ea!ant3 !ince I wa! !trong in the !u @ect. 5hen I wa! in the %a!t grade! of the realschule3 I 0%anned to go in for higher 'athe'atic!. +he teacher of hi!tor# wa! =#u i'ov3 a %arge and i'0o!ing 'an with go%d<ri''ed g%a!!e! on a !'a%% no!e3 and with a 'an%# #oung eard around hi! fu%% face. On%# when he !'i%ed did it !udden%# a00ear3 c%ear%# even to u! o#!3 that the i'0re!!ivene!! of the 'an wa! !u0erficia%3 that

he wa! weak<wi%%ed3 ti'id3 torn within hi'!e%f3 and fearfu% %e!t 0eo0%e find out !o'ething a out hi'. I 0%unged into hi!tor# with an increa!ing though diffu!ed intere!t. 4radua%%# I widened the circ%e of '# !tudie!3 a andoning the 0oor officia% te/t< ook! for the univer!it# cour!e! or the !o%id3 to'e! of $ch%oe!!er. +here wa! undou ted%# !o'e e%e'ent of !0ort in '# fa!cination for hi!tor#. I %earned # heart 'an# unnece!!ar# na'e! and detai%!3 urden!o'e to the 'e'or#3 in order to give occa!iona% e' arra!!'ent to the teacher. =#u i'ov wa! una %e to co0e with hi! c%a!!. $o'e ti'e! he wou%d !udden%# f%are u0 during the %e!!on and %ook angri%# a out3 catching a whi!0er that he i'agined to e an in!u%ting re'ark concerning hi'!e%f. +he c%a!! wou%d 0rick u0 it! ear! in a!toni!h'ent. =#u i'ov a%!o taught at a gy#nasiu# for gir%!3 and there3 too3 it wa! o !erved that he wa! acting !trange%#. +he end wa! an attack of in!anit#3 a! a re!u%t of which =#u i'ov hanged hi'!e%f fro' a window<fra'e. +he geogra0h# teacher3 6hukov!k#3 wa! feared 'ore than fire. Ae 'owed the o#! down %ike an auto'atic 'eat<a/e. 6hukov!k# de'anded an entire%# i'0o!!i %e !i%ence in hi! c%a!!roo'. Not infreCuent%# !to00ing a !tudent in the 'id!t of hi! recitation3 he wou%d %ook u0 !har0%# %ike a ird of 0re# %i!tening to the !ound of di!tant danger. Ever# od# knew what it 'eant& not to !tir and if 0o!!i %e not to reathe. I reca%% on%# one occa!ion when 6hukov!k# %oo!ed hi! rein! !o'ewhat I think it wa! on hi! irthda#. One of the !tudent! !aid !o'e thing to hi' that wa! !e'i<0rivate3 that i!3 with no earing on the %e!!on. 6hukov!k# to%erated it. +hi! in it!e%f wa! an event. I''ediate%# (akker3 the fawner3 aro!e and3 with a !'irk3 re'arked& 9It>! co''on ta%k that =#u i'ov can>t ho%d a cand%e to 6hukov!k#.? 6hukov!k# !udden%# grew ten!e. 95hat>! thatE $it downJ? 1t once there de!cended that !0ecia% !i%ence known on%# in the geogra0h# c%a!!. (akker !at3 down a! if cru!hed # a %ow. 4%ance! fu%% of re0roach and di!gu!t were turned u0on hi' fro' a%% !ide!. 9I !wear3 it>! the truth3? (akker re0%ied in a whi!0er3 ho0ing to touch the heart of the geogra0her3 with who' hi! !tanding wa! %ow. +he fu%%<f%edged teacher of 4er'an at the !choo% wa! $truve3 a huge 4er'an with a %arge head and a eard which reached to hi! wai!t%ine. +hi! 'an carried hi! heav# od#3 which !ee'ed a ve!!e% of kind%ine!!3 on a%'o!t chi%d%ike %i' !. $truve wa! a 'o!t hone!t 0er!onD he !uffered over the fai%ure! of hi! 0u0i%!3 he !hared their agitation3 he coa/ed the'3 and wa! 0ained over ever# 9I.? Ae never de!cended a! %ow a! a 91?D he tried never to %eave a 0u0i% ehind for another #ear. It wa! he who had o tained ad'i!!ion to the !choo% for the ne0hew of hi! cook3 the (akker o#3 who turned out3 however3 to e ungifted and unattractive. $truve wa! a it dro%%3 ut on the who%e a !#'0athetic figure. +he teacher of French wa! 4u!tave $a'o#%ovich )urnande3 a $wi!! B a %ean 0er!on with a 0rofi%e !o f%at that it !ee'ed to have @u!t een !Cuee-ed in a 0re!!. Ae had a !'a%% a%d !0ot3 thin3 %ue3 unkind%# %i0!3 a !har0 no!e3 and a '#!teriou! %arge !car in the for' of the %etter . on hi! forehead. )urnande wa! di!%iked unani'ou!%#3 and with rea!on. 1 !ufferer fro' indige!tion3 he ke0t !wa%%owing ta %et! during the c%a!!roo' hour!3 and regarded ever# 0u0i% a! a 0er!ona% ene'#. +he !car on hi! forehead wa! a con!tant !ource of con@ecture and theor#. It wa! !aid that 4u!tave in hi! #outh had fought a due%3 and that hi! o00onent !ucceeded in tracing a twi!ted cro!! on hi! forehead with a ra0ier. +hi! wa! denied !evera% 'onth! %ater. It wa! then a!!erted that there had een no due% ut in!tead a !urgica% o0eration3 in the cour!e of which 0art of hi!

forehead wa! e'0%o#ed to re0air hi! no!e. +he o#! carefu%%# !crutini-ed hi! no!e3 and the 'ore venture!o'e one! affir'ed that the# cou%d !ee the !titche!. +hen there were 'ore @udicia% 'ind! who !ought to e/0%ain the !car a! an accident of hi! ear%# chi%dhood a fa%% down !tair!. )ut thi! e/0%anation wa! re0udiated a! too 0ro!aic. "oreover3 it wa! a%together i'0o!!i %e to i'agine )urnande a! a chi%d. +he chief @anitor3 who 0%a#ed a not uni'0ortant rF%e in our %ife3 wa! the i'0ertur a %e 4er'an 1nton3 with i'0o!ing and gra#ing !ide<whi!ker!. 5hen it ca'e to tardine!!3 eing ke0t after !choo%3 incarceration3 1nton>! authorit# wa! 'ere%# a routine affair3 ut actua%%# it wa! great3 and it wa! nece!!ar# to kee0 on friend%# ter'! with hi'. "# attitude toward hi' wa! one of indifference3 a! wa! hi! toward 'e3 for I wa! not a'ong hi! c%ient!. I ca'e to !choo% on ti'e3 '# kit wa! in order3 '# card wa! a%wa#! in the %eft 0ocket of '# @acket. )ut !core! of 0u0i%! were dai%# at the 'erc# of 1nton and courted hi! enevo%ence in ever# wa#. In an# event3 he wa! for a%% of u! one of the 0i%%ar! of the $t. Pau% realschule. I'agine our a'a-e'ent when3 on our return fro' the !u''er vacation3 we %earned that o%d 'an 1nton had !hot the eighteen<#ear<o%d daughter of another @anitor in a fit of 0a!!ion and @ea%ou!#3 and wa! %odged in @ai%. In thi! wa# the regu%ated %ife of the !choo% and the !u00re!!ed3 cru!hed 0u %ic %ife of the 0eriod wou%d e 0unctured # individua% 0er!ona% ca%a'itie! which a%wa#! 'ade an e/aggerated i'0re!!ion3 %ike a !o in an e'0t# vau%t. +here wa! an or0hanage attached to the church of $t. Pau%. It occu0ied a corner of our court#ard. 8re!!ed in %ue3 wa!h<worn deni'3 the in'ate! a00eared in the #ard with unha00# face!3 wandering de@ected%# in their corner and droo0ing%# c%i' ing the !tair!. In !0ite of the fact that the court#ard wa! co''on ground and the or0hanage not !egregated3 the !choo% o#! and the in'ate! re0re!ented two co'0%ete%# !e0arate wor%d!. Once or twice I tried to conver!e with the o#! in %ue deni'3 ut the# an!wered gruff%#3 unwi%%ing%#3 hurr#ing to their own !ection. +he# were under !trict order! not to interfere in the affair! of the !tudent!. For !even #ear! I 0%a#ed in thi! court#ard3 and never knew the na'e of a !ing%e or0han. One 'u!t !u00o!e that Pa!tor )inne'an %e!!ed the' at the eginning of the #ear3 according to the a reviated 'a!!< ook. In the 0art of the court#ard which ad@oined the or0hanage wa! the co'0%icated a00aratu! for g#'na!tic!& ring!3 0o%e!3 %adder! oth vertica% and inc%ined tra0e-e!3 0ara%%e% ar!3 etcetera. $oon after I entered !choo%3 I wanted to re0eat a !tunt 0erfor'ed efore 'e # one of the or0hanage o#!. *%i' ing the vertica% %adder and !u!0ending '#!e%f # '# !hoe<ti0! fro' the u00er ar3 head downward3 I caught the %owe!t rung within reach and3 re%ea!ing '# feet3 %et '#!e%f go3 e/0ecting to 'ake a %oo0 of 1G2 degree! and %and on the ground in one ound. )ut I fai%ed to %et go '# hand! in ti'e and3 after de!cri ing the %oo03 !truck the %adder with '# od#. "# che!t wa! cru!hed3 '# reath !tif%edD I wrigg%ed on the ground %ike a wor'3 gra!0ing at the %eg! of the o#! around 'e3 and then %o!ing con!ciou!ne!!. Fro' then on I wa! 'ore carefu% with '# g#'na!tic!. "# %ife wa! not of the !treet3 of the 'arket<0%ace3 of !0ort! and outdoor e/erci!e!. I 'ade u0 for the!e deficiencie! when on vacation in the vi%%age. +he cit# !ee'ed to 'e created for !tud# and reading. +he o#!> !treet raw%! !ee'ed to 'e di! gracefu%. Yet there wa! never an# %ack of cau!e for a fight.

+he gy#nasiu# !tudent!3 on account of their !i%ver utton! and adge!3 were du ed 9herring!3? whi%e the ra!!< uttoned realschule o#! were ca%%ed 9ki00er!.? ,eturning ho'e a%ong the Ya'!ka#a3 I wa! acco!ted once # a %ong< odied gy#nasiu# !tudent who ke0t a!king& 95hat do #ou charge for ki00er!E? 4etting no an!wer to hi! Cue!tion3 he !hoved 'e a%ong with hi! !hou%der. 95hat do #ou want of 'eE? I a!ked in a tone of e/tre'e courte!#. +he !tudent wa! taken a ack. Ae he!itated for a 'o'ent and then a!ked& 9Aave #ou got a !%ing<!hotE? 91 !%ing<!hot3? I a!ked in turn3 9what>! thatE? +he %ong< odied !tudent !i%ent%# 0u%%ed out of hi! 0ocket a !'a%% a00aratu! con!i!ting of a ru er and on a 0ronged !tick3 and a 0iece of %ead. 9Fro' the window I ki%% 0igeon! on the roof3 and then fr# the'3? he !aid. I %ooked at '# new acCuaintance with !ur0ri!e. $uch an occu0ation wa! not uninviting3 ut it !ee'ed neverthe%e!! !o'ewhat out of 0%ace and a%'o!t indecent in cit# !urrounding!. "an# of the o#! went oating on the !ea3 'an# fi!hed fro' the reakwater. +he!e 0%ea!ure! I did not know. $trange%# enough3 the !ea had no 0art in '# %ife in that 0eriod3 a%though I !0ent !even #ear! on it! !hore!. 8uring a%% that ti'e I never wa! in a oat at !ea3 never fi!hed3 and genera%%# encountered the !ea on%# during '# tri0! to the vi%%age and ack. 5hen *ar%!on !howed u0 on "onda# with a !un urned no!e fro' which the !kin wa! 0ee%ing3 and oa!ted of catching chu ! fro' a oat3 hi! @o#! !ee'ed re'ote and did not touch 'e at a%%. +he 0a!!ionate hunter and fi!her'an in 'e had not #et awakened in tho!e da#!. 5hi%e in the 0re0arator# c%a!! I eca'e ver# chu''# with Ko!t#a ,.3 the !on of a 0h#!ician. Ko!t#a wa! one #ear #ounger than I3 !'a%%er in !i-e3 Cuiet in a00earance3 ut actua%%# a !ca0egrace and a rogue3 with keen %itt%e e#e!. Ae knew the town we%% and in thi! re!0ect had a great advantage over 'e. Ae did not e/ce% in hi! !tudie!3 wherea! I had fro' the eginning 'aintained a record of the highe!t 'ark!. 1t ho'e Ko!t#a did nothing ut ta%k of hi! new friend. +he re!u%t wa! that hi! 'other3 a %itt%e3 dried<u0 wo'an3 ca'e to Fann# $o%o'onovna with the reCue!t that the two o#! !tud# together. 1fter the conference3 in which I 0artici0ated3 0er'i!!ion wa! granted. For two or three #ear! we occu0ied the !a'e ench. +hen Ko!t#a wa! %eft a grade ehind3 and we 0arted. Our re%ation!3 however3 continued in %ater #ear!. Ko!t#a had a !i!ter in the gy#nasiu# a out two #ear! hi! !enior. +he !i!ter had gir% friend!. +he!e friend! had rother!. +he gir%! !tudied 'u!ic. +he o#! hung around their !i!ter!> friend!. On irthda#! the 0arent! invited gue!t!. +here wa! a %itt%e wor%d of !#'0athie!3 @ea%ou!ie!3 dancing3 ga'e!3 envie!3 and ani'o!itie!. +he centre of thi! %itt%e wor%d wa! the fa'i%# of the wea%th# 'erchant 1.3 who occu0ied an a0art'ent in the !a'e hou!e and on the !a'e f%oor where Ko!t#a %ived. +he corridor! of the a0art'ent! a%% faced the !a'e a%con# in the court#ard. It wa! on the a%con# that a%% !ort! of 'eeting! took 0%ace3 ca!ua% and otherwi!e. In the ho'e of 1. there wa! an at'o!0here a%together different fro' the one to which I had grown accu!to'ed at the $ch0ent-er!>. Aere were 'an# !choo% o#! and !choo%gir%! 0racti!ing the art of f%irtation

under the 0atroni-ing !'i%e of the 'i!tre!! of the hou!e. In the cour!e of conver!ation3 it wou%d cro0 out who wa! intere!ted in who'. For !uch 'atter! I a%wa#! di!0%a#ed the greate!t conte'0t3 which wa!3 however3 a it h#0ocritica%. 95hen #ou fa%% in %ove with an# one3? the fourteen<#ear< o%d daughter of 1. wou%d in!truct 'e3 9#ou 'u!t te%% 'e.? 9I can 0ro'i!e #ou that3 !ince I a' in no danger of doing it3? I wou%d an!wer with the a!!u'ed 0ride of a 'an who know! hi! va%ue B I wa! then a%read# in the !econd grade. 1 cou0%e of week! %ater the gir%! gave an e/hi ition of tableau8 (i(ants. +he #ounger daughter3 with her hand! rai!ed3 re0re!ented Night3 again!t the ackground of a %arge %ack !haw% !0rink%ed with !tar! 'ade fro' !i%ver 0a0er. 9=ook how 0rett# !he i!3? re'arked the o%der !i!ter3 nudging 'e. I %ooked3 agreed in '# heart3 and right there and then 'ade a deci!ion& the hour had co'e to fu%fi% the 0ro'i!e. $oon the o%der !i!ter egan to Cue!tion 'e. 9Aave #ou nothing to te%% 'eE? 8ro00ing '# e#e!3 I re0%ied& 9I have.? 95ho i! !he3 thenE? )ut '# tongue wou%d not 'ove. $he 0ro0o!ed that I give the fir!t %etter of her na'e. +hi! 'ade it ea!ier. +he na'e of the o%der gir% wa! 1nna. +he #ounger !i!ter wa! na'ed )ertha. I gave the !econd %etter of the a%0ha et3 and not the fir!t. 9)E? !he re0eated3 o viou!%# di!a00ointed3 and there the conver!ation ended. +he fo%%owing da#3 I wa! on '# wa# to Ko!t#a to !tud#3 wa%king a! u!ua% through the %ong corridor of the third f%oor. Fro' the !tairca!e3 I had a%read# o !erved that the two !i!ter! were !itting on the a%con# with their 'other. 5hen I wa! within a few feet of the grou03 I fe%t '#!e%f 0ierced # their need%e %ike g%ance! of iron#. +he #ounger gir% did not !'i%e3 ut on the contrar# %ooked awa# fro' 'e3 her face wearing an e/0re!!ion of terrif#ing indifference. +hi! convinced 'e at once that I had een etra#ed. +he 'other and the o%der gir% !hook hand! with 'e in a 'anner which c%ear%# !aid& 9Fine go!%ing3 now we know what i! underneath #our !eriou!ne!!.? +he #ounger !i!ter !tretched out her hand3 f%at a! a %itt%e oard3 without %ooking at 'e and without an!wering '# handc%a!0. I !ti%% had Cuite a wa%k a%ong the a%con# to negotiate3 in fu%% !ight of '# tor'entor!. 1%% the ti'e I fe%t their 'urderou! arrow! in '# ack. 1fter that unheard<of treacher#3 I decided to !ever '# re%ation! co'0%ete%# with thi! 0erfidiou! c%an3 not to ca%% on the'3 to forget the'3 tear the' out of '# heart for ever. I wa! he%0ed # the vacation 0eriod3 which ca'e !oon afterward. Hne/0ected%# for 'e3 it a00eared that I wa! near<!ighted. I wa! taken to an e#e<!0ecia%i!t3 who !u00%ied 'e with g%a!!e!. +hi! did not hurt '# 0ride at a%%3 for the g%a!!e! gave 'e a !en!e of added i'0ortance. Not without !o'e !ati!faction did I antici0ate '# a00earance in Yanovka wearing g%a!!e!. For '# father3 however3 the g%a!!e! were a great %ow. Ae he%d that it wa! affectation and !wank on '# 0art3 and 0ere'0tori%# de'anded that I re'ove the'. In vain did I 0rote!t that I cou%d not read the writing on the %ack oard and the !ign! on the !treet!. In Yanovka I wore the g%a!!e! on%# !ecret%#.

1nd #et3 in the countr# I wa! 'uch 'ore courageou! and enter0ri!ing3 and !howed 'ore a andon. I !hook off the di!ci0%ine of the cit#. I wou%d go to )o rinet- on hor!e ack a%% a%one3 and return the !a'e da# toward evening. +hi! wa! a @ourne# of fift# ki%o'etre!. In )o rinet- I di!0%a#ed '# g%a!!e! 0u %ic%# and had no dou t a! to the i'0re!!ion the# 'ade. +here wa! ut one 'unici0a% o#!> !choo% in )o rinet-. +he neare!t gy#nasiu# wa! in E%i-avetgrad3 fift# ki%o'etre! awa#. +here wa! a @unior gir%!> high !choo% in )o rinet-3 and during the !choo% !ea!on the gir%! recruited their friend! fro' a'ong the !tudent! of the 'unici0a% !choo%. In the !u''er thing! were different. +he high<!choo% o#! wou%d return fro' E%i-avetgrad3 and the 'agnificence of their unifor'! and the fine!!e of their 'anner! wou%d 0u!h the 'unici0a% 0u0i%! into the ackground. +he antagoni!' wa! itter. +he offended )o rinet- !choo% o#! wou%d for' fighting grou0! and on occa!ion wou%d re!ort not on%# to !tick! and !tone! ut to knive! a! we%%. 1! I wa! !itting noncha%ant%# eating errie! on the ranch of a 'u% err# tree in the garden of !o'e friend!3 !o'e one threw a !tone at 'e fro' ehind a fence3 hitting 'e on the head. +hi! wa! ut one !'a%% incident in a %ong and not entire%# %ood%e!! warfare3 interru0ted on%# # the de0arture of the 0rivi%eged c%a!! fro' )o rinet-. +hing! were different in E%i-avetgrad. +here the high<!choo% !tudent! do'inated oth !treet! and heart!. In the !u''er3 however3 the univer!it# !tudent! wou%d arrive fro' Kharkoff3 Ode!!a and 'ore di!tant citie!3 and !hove the high<!choo% o#! into their ack #ard!. Aere the !trugg%e wa! %ikewi!e fierce3 and the 0erfid# of the gir%! wa! inde!cri a %e. )ut the fight3 a! a ru%e3 wa! waged on%# with !0iritua% or 'ora% wea0on!. In the countr# I 0%a#ed croCuet and nine0in!3 %ed in forfeit!3 and wa! in!o%ent to the gir%!. It wa! there that I %earned to ride a ic#c%e 'ade entire%# # Ivan (a!i%#evich. )ecau!e of that3 I dared %ater to e/erci!e on the Ode!!a track. In the vi%%age3 'oreover3 I 'anaged a%% a%one a %ooded !ta%%ion in a two<whee%ed gig. )# thi! ti'e there were a%read# fine driving<hor!e! in Yanovka. I offered to take '# unc%e )rod!k#3 the rewer3 for a ride. 9I won>t e thrown outE? a!ked '# unc%e3 who wa! not inc%ined to daring enter0ri!e. 9Aow can #ou3 unc%eE? I re0%ied3 !o indignant%# that with a 'eek !igh he !at down ehind 'e. I 'ade for the ravine and 0a!!ed the 'i%%3 going a%ong a road fre!h fro' a !u''er rain. +he a# !ta%%ion wa! !eeking the o0en !0ace!3 and3 irritated # the nece!!it# of going u0<hi%%3 !udden%# tore ahead. I 0u%%ed on the rein!3 0u!hing again!t the foot< ar3 and rai!ed '#!e%f high enough !o that '# unc%e cou%d not !ee that I wa! hanging onto the rein!. )ut the !ta%%ion had hi! 'ind 'ade u0. Ae wa! three ti'e! #ounger than I3 on%# four #ear! o%d. 1nno#ed3 he 0u%%ed the gig u0 the hi%% %ike a cat tr#ing to run awa# fro' a tin can tied to it! tai%. I egan to !en!e that '# unc%e had !to00ed !'oking ehind 'e3 that he wa! reathing fa!ter and wa! a out to i!!ue an u%ti'atu'. I !ett%ed down 'ore !o%id%#3 %oo!ening the rein! on the a# !ta%%ion3 and to a00ear fu%%# confident3 I c%icked '# tongue in ti'e with the !0%een3 which wa! 0ounding eautifu%%# in the a#. 9Now don>t #ou 0%a#3 o#3? I ad'oni!hed hi' 0atroni-ing%# when he tried to ga%%o0. I !0read '# ar'! 'ore at ea!e and fe%t that '# unc%e had ca%'ed down and had taken u0 hi! cigarette again. +he ga'e wa! won3 a%though '# heart wa! eating %ike the !0%een of the hor!e. ,eturning to town3 I again ent '# neck to the #oke of di!ci0%ine. It wa! no great effort. E/erci!e! and !0ort! gave wa# to ook! and occa!iona%%# the theatre. I !urrendered to the cit#3 ut hard%# ca'e in contact with it. It! %ife a%'o!t 0a!!ed # 'e. 1nd not # 'e a%one even the grown<u0! dared not !tick their head! too far out the window!. Ode!!a wa! 0erha0! the 'o!t 0o%ice<ridden cit# in 0o%ice<ridden ,u!!ia. +he 'ain 0er!onage in town wa! the governor3 the

for'er 1d'ira% 6e%eno# Id. Ae co' ined a !o%ute 0ower with an uncur ed te'0er. Innu'era %e anecdote!3 which the Ode!!ite! e/changed in whi!0er!3 circu%ated a out hi'. 1t that ti'e there a00eared a road3 0rinted in a free 0%ant3 a who%e ook of ta%e! of the heroic deed! of 1d'ira% 6e%eno# Id. I !aw hi' ut once3 and then on%# hi! ack. )ut that wa! enough for 'e. +he governor wa! !tanding in hi! carriage3 fu%%# erect3 and wa! cur!ing in hi! throat# voice acro!! the !treet3 !haking hi! fi!t. Po%ice'en with their hand! at attention and @anitor! with their ca0! in hand 0a!!ed # hi' in review3 and fro' ehind curtained window! frightened face! %ooked out. I ad@u!ted '# !choo% kit and hurried ho'e. 5henever I want to re!tore in '# 'e'or# the !cene of officia% ,u!!ia in the #ear! of '# ear%# #outh3 I vi!ua%i-e the ack of that governor3 hi! fi!t !tretched into !0ace3 and I hear hi! throat# cur!e!3 not u!ua%%# found in dictionarie!.

'otes
1. +he wife of "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich. I. In the ,u!!ian !#!te' of grading3 95? wa! the highe!t and 91? the %owe!t 'ark. B Translator

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Leon Trotsky

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%3APT(! 0V

8&&5) A'D (A!L4 %&'FL0%T)

In '# inner %ife3 not on%# during '# !choo% #ear! ut throughout '# #outh3 nature and individua%! occu0ied a %e!!er 0%ace than ook! and idea!. 8e!0ite '# countr# ringing<u03 I wa! not !en!itive to nature. "# intere!t in it and '# under!tanding of it ca'e in %ater #ear!3 when chi%dhood and even ear%# #outh were far ehind. For a %ong ti'e 0eo0%e 0a!!ed through '# 'ind %ike rando' !hadow!. I %ooked into '#!e%f and into ook!3 in which in turn I tried again to find '#!e%f and '# future. "# reading co''enced in 1GG; after the arriva% at Yanovka of "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich3 who rought with hi' a 0i%e of ook!3 inc%uding !o'e of +o%!to#>! writing! for the 0eo0%e. 1t fir!t reading wa! 'ore of a ta!k than a 0%ea!ure. Ever# new ook rought with it new o !tac%e!3 !uch a! unfa'i%iar word!3 uninte%%igi %e hu'an re%ation!hi0!3 and the vaguene!! and in!ta i%it# which

!e0arate fanc# fro' rea%it#. H!ua%%# there wa! no od# at hand to an!wer '# Cue!tion!3 and !o I wa! often at !ea eginning a ook3 giving it u0 and eginning it again @oining the uncertain @o# of know%edge with the fear of the unknown. One 'ight 0erha0! %iken '# reading e/0erience! during that 0eriod to a night drive on the !te00e!& !Cueaking whee%! and voice! cro!!ing one another3 onfire! a%ong the road f%aring u0 in the darkne!!D ever#thing !ee'! fa'i%iar and #et one doe! not Cuite gra!0 it! 'eaning. 5hat i! ha00eningE 5ho i! driving 0a!t and carr#ing whatE Even one!e%f where i! one going3 forward or ackwardE Nothing i! c%ear3 and there i! no od# %ike Hnc%e 4regor# to e/0%ain& 9+he!e are driver! carr#ing wheat.? In Ode!!a the choice of ook! wa! va!t%# greater3 and with it went attentive and !#'0athetic guidance. I devoured ook! ravenou!%# and had to e forced to go out for wa%k!. On '# wa%k! I wou%d %ive through again in '# 'ind what I had read3 and then wou%d hurr# ho'e to re!u'e the reading. In the evening! I wou%d eg to e a%%owed to !ta# u0 another Cuarter of an hour3 or even on%# five 'inute! to fini!h the cha0ter. Aard%# an evening 0a!!ed without an argu'ent of thi! kind. +he awakened hunger to !ee3 to know3 to a !or 3 found re%ief in thi! in!atia %e !wa%%owing of 0rinted 'atter3 in the hand! and %i0! of a chi%d ever reaching out for the cu0 of ver a% fanc#. Ever#thing in '# %ater %ife that wa! intere!ting or thri%%ing3 ga# or !ad3 wa! a%read# 0re!ent in '# reading e/0erience! a! a hint3 a 0ro'i!e3 a !%ight and ti'id !ketch in 0enci% or water<co%or. 8uring the fir!t #ear! of '# !ta# in Ode!!a3 reading a%oud in the evening!3 after I fini!hed '# ho'e work and unti% I went to ed3 gave 'e '# ha00ie!t hour!3 or rather ha%f<hour!. "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich u!ua%%# read Pu!hkin or Nekra!!ov3 'ore often the %atter. )ut at the hour !et3 Fann# $o%o'onovna wou%d !a#3 9It>! ti'e to go to ed3 =#ova.? I wou%d %ook at her with i'0%oring e#e!. 9It>! ti'e to !%ee03 %itt%e o#3? "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich wou%d !a#. 91nother five 'inute!3? I egged3 and the five 'inute! were granted. 1fter that3 I ki!!ed the' good<night and went off with the fee%ing that I cou%d %i!ten to their reading a%% night3 though I had !carce%# %aid '# head on the 0i%%ow efore I wa! fa!t a!%ee0. 1 gir% in the %a!t grade of high !choo%3 a di!tant re%ative ca%%ed $o0hia3 ca'e to !ta# with the $ch0ent-er! for a few week! unti% her fa'i%# got over an attack of !car%et fever. $he wa! a ver# ca0a %e and we%%<read gir%3 a%though3 !ince !he %acked origina%it# and character3 !he !oon faded awa# for 'e. )ut I ad'ired her tre'endou!%#3 and ever# da# found in her new !tore! of know%edge and new Cua%itie!D # contra!t I a00eared in '# own e#e! a! utter%# in!ignificant. I he%0ed her # co0#ing her e/a'ination 0rogra''e3 and genera%%# in variou! other !'a%% wa#!. In return3 when the grown<u0! were re!ting after dinner3 !he wou%d read a%oud to 'e. )efore %ong we egan to co'0o!e together a !atirica% 0oe'3 ' 9ourney to the !oon. In thi! work I a%wa#! %agged ehind. No !ooner had I 'ade !o'e 'ode!t !ugge!tion than the !enior co%%a orator wou%d catch the idea 9on the wing3? deve%o0 it3 introduce variation!3 and 0ick u0 rh#'e! without effort3 what ti'e I wa!3 !o to !0eak3 eing hau%ed in tow. 5hen the !i/ week! were u0 and $o0hia returned to her ho'e3 I fe%t that I had grown o%der. 1'ong the 'ore nota %e friend! of the fa'i%# there wa! $erge# Ivanovich $#chev!k#3 an o%d @ourna%i!t and a ro'antic 0er!ona%it#3 who wa! known in the $outh of ,u!!ia a! an authorit# on

$hake!0eare. Ae wa! a gifted 'an ut wa! addicted to drink. )ecau!e of thi! weakne!!3 he wore a gui%t# air toward 0eo0%e3 even toward chi%dren. Ae had known Fann# $o%o'onovna !ince her ear%# #outh3 and ca%%ed her 9Fann#u!hka.? $erge# Ivanovich eca'e attached to 'e at the ver# fir!t 'eeting. 1fter a!king what we were !tud#ing at !choo%3 the o%d 'an to%d 'e to write a 0a0er co'0aring Pu!hkin>! Poet and 8ookseller with Nekra!!ov>! Poet and %iti:en. +hi! near%# took '# reath awa#. I had never even read the !econd work and3 what wa! !ti%% 'ore i'0ortant3 I wa! inti'idated # the fact that $#chev!k# wa! an author. +he ver# word 9author? !ounded to 'e a! if it wa! uttered fro' !o'e unattaina %e height. 95e wi%% read it right awa#3? !aid $erge# Ivanovich3 and egan in!tant%# to read. Ae read !u0er %#. 98id #ou under!tandE 5e%%3 0ut it a%% into #our e!!a#.? +he# !eated 'e in the !tud#3 gave 'e Pu!hkin>! and Nekra!!ov>! work!3 0a0er and ink. 9I te%% #ou3 I can>t do it3? I !wore in a tragic whi!0er to Fann# $o%o'onovna. 95hat can I write hereE? 9Now3 don>t #ou get e/cited3? !he an!wered3 !troking '# head. 9You write @u!t a! #ou under!tand it that>! a%%.? Aer hand wa! tender3 and !o wa! her voice. I ca%'ed down a %itt%e3 or rather got '# frightened vanit# under contro%3 and egan to write. 1 out an hour %ater3 I wa! !u''oned to !how the re!u%t. I rought in a %arge !heet of 0a0er3 written a%% over3 and3 !haking in '# oot! a! I never did at !choo%3 handed it to the 9author.? $erge# Ivanovich ran over a few %ine! in !i%ence3 and3 turning hi! !0ark%ing e#e! to 'e3 e/c%ai'ed& 97u!t %i!ten to what he wrote. Ae i! a !'art fe%%ow3 I !wearJ? 1nd then he read& 9P+he 0oet %ived with hi! e%oved nature3 who!e ever# !ound3 oth ga# and !ad3 echoed in the Poet>! heart.> 8idn>t he word it eautifu%%#3 Pwho!e ever# !ound> @u!t %i!ten to thi! P oth ga# and !ad3 echoed in the Poet>! heart>? 1nd !o dee0%# did tho!e word! engrave the'!e%ve! that da# on '# own 'ind that I have re'e' ered the' ever !ince. 1t dinner3 $erge# Ivanovich @oked a great dea%3 de%ved into 'e'orie! of the 0a!t3 and to%d !torie!3 finding in!0iration in the g%a!! of vodka which wa! a%wa#! read# at hi! ca%%. Now and again he %ooked at 'e acro!! the ta %e and !aid& 95here ever did #ou %earn to 0ut it !o we%%E ,ea%%#3 I 'u!t give #ou a ki!!.? +hen3 wi0ing hi! 'u!tache carefu%%# with a na0kin3 he ro!e and with un!tead# !te0! !et out on a tri0 around the ta %e. I !at a! if waiting for !o'e cata!tro0hic %owD a g%ad!o'e %ow3 it i! true3 ut cata!tro0hic a%% the !a'e. 94o and 'eet hi'3 =#ova3? "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich whi!0ered to 'e. 1fter dinner $erge# Ivanovich recited fro' 'e'or# the !atirica% 1opo(s )rea#. +en!e%# I watched hi! gra# 'u!tache3 fro' under which there e!ca0ed !uch funn# word!. +he author>! ha%f<drunken !tate did not in the %ea!t i'0air hi! e'inence in '# e#e!. *hi%dren 0o!!e!! a re'arka %e 0ower of a !traction. In the evening! efore it wa! dark I !o'eti'e! went for wa%k! with "oi!!e# Fi%i00o#ich3 and when he wa! in a good hu'or we ta%ked a out a%% !ort! of thing!. On one occa!ion he to%d 'e the !tor# of the o0era 3aust3 which he %iked ver# 'uch. 1! I eager%# fo%%owed the !tor#3 I ho0ed that one da# I 'ight hear the o0era on the !tage. Fro' a change in hi! tone3 however3 I eca'e aware that the !tor# wa! a00roaching a de%icate 0oint. I wa! Cuite di!tur ed # hi! e' arra!!'ent and egan to fear that I !hou%d not hear the end of the !tor#. )ut "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich recovered hi!

ca%' and continued& 9+hen a a # wa! orn to 4retchen efore 'arriage ...? 5e oth fe%t re%ieved when we had 0a!!ed thi! 0ointD after that the !tor# wa! !afe%# rought to it! conc%u!ion. I wa! in ed with a andaged throat3 and # wa# of con!o%ation wa! given 8icken!> &li er Twist. +he re'ark of the doctor in the nur!ing ho'e a out the wo'an>! not having a wedding< ring 0er0%e/ed 'e utter%#. 95hat doe! it 'eanE? I a!ked "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich. 95hat ha! the wedding<ring to do with itE? 9Oh3? !aid he3 !o'ewhat ha%ting%#3 9it i! !i'0%# that when 0eo0%e are not 'arried3 the# wear no wedding<ring.? I reca%%ed 4retchen. 1nd the fate of O%iver +wi!t wa! !0un out in '# i'agination fro' a ring3 a ring which did not e/i!t. +he for idden wor%d of hu'an re%ation! ur!t into '# con!ciou!ne!! fitfu%%# fro' ook!3 and 'uch that I had heard !0oken of in a ca!ua%3 and u!ua%%# coar!e and gro!! 'anner3 now through %iterature eca'e genera%i-ed and enno %ed3 ri!ing to !o'e higher 0%ane. 1t that ti'e3 0u %ic o0inion wa! !tirred u0 over +o%!to#>! 1ower o% )ar$ness3 which had @u!t a00eared. Peo0%e di!cu!!ed it with great earne!tne!! and were una %e to co'e to an# definite conc%u!ion. Po edono!t-ev !ucceeded in inducing *-ar 1%e/ander III to 0rohi it the 0%a# fro' eing 0erfor'ed. I knew that "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich and Fann# $o%o'onovna3 after I had gone to ed3 read the 0%a# in the ad@oining roo'. I cou%d hear the 'ur'ur of their voice!. 9"a# I read it3 tooE? I a!ked. 9No3 dear3 #ou are too #oung for that3? ca'e the an!wer3 and it !ounded !o categorica% that I 'ade no atte'0t to argue. 1t the !a'e ti'e I noticed that the !%i' new vo%u'e found it! wa# to the fa'i%iar ook<!he%f. $ei-ing an o00ortunit# when '# guardian! were out3 I read +o%!to#>! 0%a# in a few hurried in!ta%'ent!. It i'0re!!ed 'e 'uch %e!! vivid%# than '# 'entor! a00arent%# feared it wou%d. +he 'o!t tragic !cene!3 !uch a! the !trang%ing of the chi%d and the conver!ation a out the creaking one!3 were acce0ted not a! a terri %e rea%it#3 ut a! a %iterar# invention3 a !tage trickD in other word!3 I did not rea%%# gra!0 the' at a%%. 8uring a vacation in the countr#3 whi%e I wa! e/0%oring a ook<!he%f high u0 under the cei%ing3 I ca'e acro!! a ook%et rought ho'e fro' E%i-avetgrad # '# e%der rother. I o0ened it and in!tant%# !en!ed !o'ething e/traordinar# and !ecret. +hi! wa! a court re0ort of a 'urder ca!e in which a %itt%e gir% wa! the victi' of a !e/ua% cri'e. I read the ook3 !trewn with 'edica% and %ega% detai%!3 with '# 'ind a%% a!tir and a%ar'ed3 a! if I had found '#!e%f in a wood at night3 !tu' %ing again!t gho!t%ike3 'oon%it tree! and not a %e to find '# wa# out. Au'an 0!#cho%og#3 0articu%ar%# in the ca!e of chi%dren3 ha! it! own uffer!3 rake!3 and !afet#<va%ve! an e/ten!ive and we%%<devi!ed !#!te' which !tand! guard again!t unti'e%# and too dra!tic !hock!. "# fir!t vi!it to the theatre took 0%ace when I wa! in the 0re0arator# c%a!! at !choo%. It wa! %ike no other e/0erience3 and eggar! de!cri0tion. I wa! !ent3 under the cha0eronage of the !choo% @anitor3 4regor# Kho%od3 to !ee a Hkrainian 0%a#. I !at 0a%e a! a !heet !o 4regor# afterward re0orted to Fann# $o%o'onovna and wa! tortured # a @o# which wa! 'ore than I cou%d ear. 8uring the inter'i!!ion! I did not %eave '# !eat3 %e!t 4od for idJ I 'ight 'i!! !o'ething. +he 0erfor'ance ended with a co'ic !ketch& ' Tenant with a Tro#bone. +he ten!ion of dra'a wa!

now re%ieved # riotou! %aughter. I !wa#ed in '# !eat3 now throwing ack '# head3 and now again riveting '# e#e! on the !tage. 1t ho'e I re%ated the !tor# of the tenant with a tro' one3 adding 'ore and 'ore detai%! ever# ti'e3 ho0ing to arou!e the %aughter which I had @u!t e/0erienced. +o '# great di!a00oint'ent3 I found '# effort! Cuite wa!ted. 9It !ee'! #ou did not %ike the Na7ar Stodolya at a%% did #ouE? a!ked "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich. I fe%t the!e word! a! an inner re0roach. I thought of Na-ar>! !uffering! and !aid& 9No3 it wa! Cuite re'arka %e.? )efore 0a!!ing to the third grade3 I %ived for a !hort ti'e out!ide Ode!!a in the !u''er ho'e of '# engineer unc%e. +here I attended an a'ateur theatrica% in which a o# fro' our !choo%3 Krug%#akov3 0%a#ed the 0art of a !ervant. Krug%#akov wa! a weak<che!ted3 freck%ed o#3 with inte%%igent e#e!3 ut in a ver# 0oor !tate of hea%th. I eca'e great%# attached to hi' and egged hi' to !tage !o'e 0%a# with 'e. 5e cho!e Pu!hkin>! The Niggardly :night. I had to act the ro%e of the !on3 and Krug%#akov that of the father. I unre!erved%# acce0ted hi! guidance3 and !0ent who%e da#! %earning Pu!hkin>! %ine!. 5hat de%iciou! e/cite'ent thi! wa!J $oon3 however3 ever#thing went to 0iece!& Krug%#akov>! 0arent! vetoed hi! 0artici0ation in the theatrica% on account of hi! hea%th. 5hen !choo% o0ened again3 he attended c%a!!e! on%# the fir!t few week!. I a%wa#! tried to catch hi' after !choo% !o that I cou%d engage hi' in %iterar# conver!ation on the wa# ho'e. $oon after that3 Krug%#akov di!a00eared a%together. I %earned that he wa! i%%. 1 few 'onth! %ater ca'e the re0ort that he had died of con!u'0tion. +he 'agic of the theatre he%d it! !0e%% over 'e for !evera% #ear!. =ater I deve%o0ed a fondne!! for Ita%ian o0era3 which wa! the 0ride of Ode!!a. In the !i/th grade I even did !o'e tutoring to earn 'one# for the theatre. For !evera% 'onth! I wa! 'ute%# in %ove with the co%oratura !o0rano earing the '#!teriou! na'e of 4iu!e00ina Hget3 who !ee'ed to 'e to have de!cended fro' heaven to the !tage< oard! of the Ode!!a theatre. I wa! not !u00o!ed to read new!0a0er!. )ut the ru%e wa! not ver# !trict%# o !erved3 and gradua%%#3 with a few !et ack!3 I won the right to read 0a0er!3 'ore 0articu%ar%# the %euilleton co%u'n!. +he centre of intere!t in the 0re!! of Ode!!a wa! occu0ied # the theatre3 e!0ecia%%# the o0era3 and !uch 0u %ic divi!ion! of o0inion a! occurred were 'ain%# in!0ired # theatrica% 0reference!. +hi! wa! the on%# !0here in which the new!0a0er! were a%%owed to di!0%a# an# !e' %ance of te'0era'ent. In tho!e da#! the !tar of 8oro!hevich3 the %euilleton<co%u'ni!t3 !hone 0articu%ar%# right%#. 5ithin a !hort ti'e he eca'e the ido% of the cit#3 a%though he wrote of !'a%% and3 not infreCuent%#3 trivia% thing!. )ut unCue!tiona %# he had ta%ent3 and # the daring for' of hi! actua%%# innocent artic%e! he %et fre!h air into an Ode!!a o00re!!ed to a !tate of !trangu%ation # the governor3 6e%eno# Id. 5hen I o0ened the 'orning 0a0er3 I i''ediate%# %ooked for the na'e of 8oro!hevich. +hi! enthu!ia!' for hi! artic%e! wa! then !hared oth # the 'oderate father! and # their chi%dren who had not #et eco'e i''oderate. Fro' ear%# #ear! '# %ove for word! had now een %o!ing now gaining in force3 ut genera%%# 0utting down ever fir'er root!. In '# e#e!3 author!3 @ourna%i!t!3 and arti!t! a%wa#! !tood for a wor%d which wa! 'ore attractive than an# other3 one o0en on%# to the e%ect.

In the !econd grade we !tarted a 'aga-ine. "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich and I had 'an# ta%k! on thi! !u @ect3 and "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich even devi!ed a tit%e& The Dro2 the idea eing that the !econd grade of the $t. Pau% realschule wa! contri uting it! 9dro0? to the ocean of %iterature. I e' odied thi! in a 0oe' which took the 0%ace of an introductor# artic%e. +here were other 0oe'! and !torie!3 %ikewi!e 'o!t%# 'ine. One of our draft!'en decorated the cover with an invo%ved orna'enta% de!ign. $o'e od# !ugge!ted !howing The Dro2 to Kri-hanov!k#. +he co''i!!ion wa! undertaken # the o# Y.3 who %ived in Kri-hanov!k#>! hou!e. Ae 0erfor'ed hi! ta!k with rea% ri%%iance& he ro!e fro' hi! !eat3 wa%ked u0 to the 'a!ter>! de!k3 fir'%# %aid The Dro2 u0on it3 cere'oniou!%# owed3 and returned to hi! !eat. 5e a%% he%d our reath. Kri-hanov!k# %ooked at the cover3 'ade a few gri'ace! with hi! 'u!tache3 e#e row!3 and eard3 and !i%ent%# egan to read. +here wa! co'0%ete Cuiet in the roo'D on%# the %eave! of The Dro2 ru!t%ed. +hen he got u0 fro' hi! de!k and with great fee%ing read a%oud '# 9Pure %itt%e dro0.? 94oodE? he a!ked. 94ood3? an!wered the o#! in choru!. 9Ye!3 it 'a# e good3 ut the author know! nothing a out ver!ification. Now3 te%% 'e3 what i! a dact#%E? he turned to 'e3 having gue!!ed the author ehind the thin%# di!gui!ed no#0de0plu#e. 9I don>t know3? I had to confe!!. 9+hen I>%% te%% #ou.? 1nd neg%ecting !evera% %e!!on! in gra''ar and !#nta/3 Kri-hanov!k# e/0%ained to the %itt%e !econd< grade o#! the '#!terie! of 'etric ver!ification. 91nd a! for the 'aga-ine3? he !aid at the end3 9it wi%% e etter if #ou don>t other a out it or the ocean of %iterature either3 ut %et thi! e @u!t #our e/erci!e< ook.? It 'u!t e e/0%ained that !choo% 'aga-ine! were for idden at that ti'e. +he Cue!tion3 however3 found a different !o%ution. +he 0eacefu% cour!e of '# !tudie! wa! !udden%# interru0ted # '# e/0u%!ion fro' the $t. Pau% realschule. Fro' the da#! of '# chi%dhood I had 'an# conf%ict! in %ife3 which !0rang3 a! a @uri!t wou%d !a#3 out of the !trugg%e again!t in@u!tice. +he !a'e 'otive not infreCuent%# deter'ined '# 'aking or reaking of friend!hi0!. It wou%d take too %ong to go through a%% the nu'erou! e0i!ode!. )ut there were two which a!!u'ed con!idera %e 0ro0ortion!. "# igge!t conf%ict occurred in the !econd grade with )urnande3 who' we nickna'ed 9+he French'an3? though he wa! rea%%# a $wi!!. In the !choo% the 4er'an %anguage3 to !o'e e/tent3 riva%ed the ,u!!ian. Our French3 on the other hand3 !howed ver# %itt%e 0rogre!!. "o!t of the o#! %earned French for the fir!t ti'e at !choo%3 ut the 4er'an co%oni!t! found it 0articu%ar%# difficu%t. )urnande waged a re%ent%e!! war again!t the 4er'an!. Ai! favorite victi' wa! (akker. +he %atter wa! rea%%# a ver# 0oor !cho%ar. )ut thi! ti'e 'an# if not a%% of u! got the i'0re!!ion that the o# did not de!erve the %owe!t 'ark! that )urnande gave hi'. 1nd that da# )urnande wa! even 'ore ferociou! than ever3 !wa%%owing a dou %e do!e of d#!0e0!ia ta %et!. 9=et>! give hi' a concert3? the o#! egan whi!0ering around3 winking at and nudging one another. 1'ong the' I occu0ied not the %ea!t 0%ace3 0erha0! even the fir!t. $uch concert! had occa!iona%%# een arranged efore3 0articu%ar%# in honor of the drawing<'a!ter3 who wa! di!%iked for hi! !0itefu% !tu0idit#. +o give a concert 'eant to acco'0an# the !te0! of the teacher whi%e he wa! %eaving the c%a!!roo' with a how%ing !ound 'ade with a c%o!ed 'outh3 !o that one cou%d not te%% who wa! actua%%# doing it. Once or twice )urnande got it3 ut in a 'i%d and con!idera %# 'uff%ed for'3 a! he wa! feared. +hi! ti'e3 however3 we 'u!tered a%% our courage. +he 'o'ent the French'an 0ut the !choo% 9@ourna%? under hi! ar'3 there ca'e3 fro' the e/tre'e f%ank3 a how% which !0read in a ro%%ing wave to the de!k! in front. I3 for '# 0art3 did what I cou%d. )urnande3 who had a%read# !te00ed through the door3 in!tant%# turned ack3 and !tood in the

'idd%e of the roo'3 face to face with hi! ene'ie!3 hi! face 0a%e<green and hi! e#e! darting fire3 ut without uttering a word. +he o#! ehind the de!k!3 0articu%ar%# tho!e in the front !eat!3 %ooked innocence it!e%f. +ho!e in the ack !eat! were u!# with their kit! a! if nothing had ha00ened. 1fter !taring at u! for ha%f a 'inute )urnande turned to the door in !uch a fur# that the tai%! of hi! coat %ew out %ike !ai%!. +he French'an wa! acco'0anied thi! ti'e # a unani'ou! and enthu!ia!tic how% which fo%%owed hi' far down the corridor. )efore the ne/t %e!!on egan there ca'e into the c%a!!roo' )urnande3 $chwanne ach3 and the c%a!! 'onitor "a#er3 who wa! known a'ong the o#! a! 9,a'? on account of hi! u%ging e#e!3 !trong forehead3 and tor0id rain. $chwanne ach e!!a#ed !o'ething re!e' %ing an introductor# !0eech3 a%% the whi%e circu'navigating with e/tre'e care the hidden reef! of the ,u!!ian dec%en!ion! and con@ugation!. )urnande reathed revenge. 1nd "a#er !crutini-ed the o#!> face! with hi! 0rotruding e#e!3 ca%%ing out tho!e known to e !0ortive3 and !a#ing& 9You are !ure to have een in it.? $o'e o#! 'i%d%# 0rote!ted their innocenceD other! 'aintained !i%ence. In thi! wa# ten or fifteen o#! were 0icked out for detention 9without dinner3? !o'e for one hour3 and !o'e for two hour!. +he re!t were a%%owed to go ho'e3 and I wa! of their nu' er3 a%though I e%ieve I !aw )urnande ca!t an inten!e%# 0r#ing g%ance at 'e during the ro%%<ca%%. I did nothing to o tain e/e'0tion. Neither did I accu!e '#!e%f. I %eft the !choo% rather with a fee%ing of regret3 a! !ta#ing with the other o#! wou%d have 0ro'i!ed a @o%%# ti'e. Ne/t 'orning3 when I wa! on '# wa# to !choo% with the 'e'or# of the 0reviou! da#>! incident are%# 0re!ent in '# 'ind3 I wa! !to00ed at the gate # one of the 0uni!hed o#!. 9=ook here3? he !aid3 9#ou>re in for trou %e. Ye!terda# 8ani%ov accu!ed #ou efore "a#er3 "a#er ca%%ed )urnande3 then the head 'a!ter ca'e3 and the# a%% tried to find out if #ou were the ring%eader.? "# heart !ank into '# oot!. 1nd at the !a'e 'o'ent the 'onitor3 Peter Pav%ovich3 e'erged. 94o to the head 'a!ter3? he !aid. +he fact that he had waited for 'e at the entrance3 and the tone in which he addre!!ed 'e3 augured i%%. InCuiring of one door'an after another3 I found '# wa# into the '#!ter#<wra0t corridor where the head 'a!ter>! roo' wa!3 and there I !to00ed out!ide hi! door. +he head 'a!ter 0a!!ed 'e3 %ooked at 'e grave%# and !hook hi! head. I !tood there3 'ore dead than a%ive. +he head 'a!ter ca'e out of hi! roo' again and on%# %et fa%%& 91%% rightJ 1%% rightJ? I rea%i-ed that in 0oint of fact it wa! not a%% right at a%%. 1 few 'inute! %ater teacher! egan to co'e out of their roo' ne/t door3 the 'a@orit# of the' hurr#ing to their c%a!!roo'! with out !o 'uch a! noticing 'e. Kri-hanov!k# an!wered '# ow with a !%# gri'ace which !ee'ed to !a#& 94ot in a 'e!!3 '# o#. I>' !orr# for #ou3 ut !uch i! fate.? 1nd )urnande3 after '# courteou! ow3 ca'e right u0 to 'e3 ent hi! !0itefu% %itt%e eard over 'e3 and waving hi! hand! !aid& 9+he !tar !tudent of the !econd grade i! a 'ora% outca!t3? then turned and wa%ked awa#. 1 few 'inute! %ater the 9,a'? !tradd%ed u0. 9+hat>! the !ort of ird #ou are3? he !aid with a00arent !ati!faction. 95e>%% teach #ou a %e!!on.? +hen '# %ong torture co''enced. In '# c%a!!roo'3 fro' which I wa! ke0t awa#3 there wa! no %e!!on& a cro!!<e/a'ination wa! going on there. )urnande3 the head 'a!ter3 "a#er3 and the 9in!0ector? Ka'in!k# for'ed a !u0re'e inve!tigating co''ittee to inCuire into the ca!e of the 'ora% outca!t. It egan3 a! tran!0ired afterward3 with one of the 0uni!hed o#! co'0%aining to "a#er during the detention in !choo%&

95e have een un@u!t%# 0uni!hed. +he one who 'ade the 'o!t noi!e went !cot<free. ). egged the other o#! on and !houted hi'!e%f3 and he wa! a%%owed to go ho'e. 1nd *ar%!on3 he wi%% te%% #ou !o3 too.? 9I don>t e%ieve it3? !aid "a#er3 9). i! a we%%< ehaved o#.? )ut *ar%!on3 the o# who reco''ended )inne'an to 'e a! the c%evere!t 'an in Ode!!a3 corro orated the accu!ation3 a! did a few other!. "a#er ca%%ed )urnande. Encouraged and urged on # their !u0erior!3 infecting one another with their e/a'0%e3 there e'erged ten or twe%ve infor'er! fro' the entire od# of o#!. +he# egan to !earch their 'e'orie!. 1 #ear efore ). had !aid !o'ething during a wa%k a out the head 'a!ter. ). had re0eated it to !o'e od# e%!e. ). had taken 0art in the 9concert? to 6'igord!k#. (akker3 who wa! the cau!e of a%% the trou %e3 !aid in a 'oving voice& 9I cried3 a! #ou know3 ecau!e 4u!tave $a'oi%ovich gave 'e the %owe!t 'ark!3 and ). ca'e u0 to 'e3 0ut hi! hand on '# !hou%der and !aid& P8on>t cr#3 (akker3 we wi%% write the in!0ector<genera% !uch a %etter that he wi%% di!'i!! )urnande.>? 95rite to who'E? 9+he in!0ector<genera%.? 9I! that !oJ 1nd what did #ou !a#E? 9I !aid nothing3 of cour!e.? 8ani%ov 0icked u0 the !tor#& 9+hat>! Cuite true. ). !ugge!ted writing a %etter to the in!0ector< genera%3 ut not to !ign it3 !o a! not to get e/0e%%ed3 ut to %et ever# one write one character in the %etter in turn.? 9I !ee3? g%oated )urnande3 9ever# one a character in turnJ? 1%% of the o#!3 without e/ce0tion3 were cro!!<e/a'ined. 1 nu' er of the' f%at%# denied ever#thing3 oth what did not ha00en3 and what did. One of the' wa! Ko!t#a ,.3 who we0t itter%# at !eeing hi! e!t friend3 the !tar !tudent3 !o !ha'efu%%# etra#ed. +he infor'er! denounced the!e !tu orn denier! a! '# friend!. Panic reigned in the c%a!!roo'. +he 'a@orit# of the o#! c%o!ed u0 and !aid nothing. For once 8ani%ov wa! 0%a#ing fir!t<fidd%e3 which had never ha00ened to hi' efore3 and never did again. I !tood in the corridor near the head 'a!ter>! roo'3 ne/t to a #e%%ow 0o%i!hed cu0 oard3 %ike a 'an who had co''itted a grave cri'e again!t the !tate. +here the 0rinci0a% witne!!e! were rought in turn to confront the accu!ed. In the end I wa! to%d to go ho'e. 94o and te%% #our 0arent! to co'e here.? 9"# 0arent! are wa# down in the countr#.?

9+hen te%% #our guardian!.? On%# the da# efore3 I had he%d the undi!0uted rank of !tar !tudent3 Cuite a di!tance ahead of the ne/t o#. Even "a#er had never !o 'uch a! !u!0ected 'e. +o<da# I %a# 0ro!trate on the ground3 and 8ani%ov3 who wa! known for hi! %a-ine!! and naughtine!!3 wa! revi%ing 'e in front of the entire c%a!! and the authoritie! of the !choo%. 5hat had ha00enedE Aad I co'e too ra!h%# to the aid of an in@ured o# who wa! not '# friend and for who' otherwi!e I had no fee%ing of !#'0ath#E Or had I 0%aced too 'uch confidence in the united !u00ort of the c%a!!E I wa! in no 'ood for the!e genera%i-ation!3 how ever3 whi%e I wa! returning to the Pokrov!k# 1%%e#. 5ith a di!torted face and eating heart3 in a f%ood of word! and tear!3 I re%ated what ha00ened. "# guardian! tried to con!o%e 'e a! e!t the# cou%d3 though the# the'!e%ve! were great%# 0ertur ed. Fann# $o%o'onovna went to !ee the head 'a!ter3 the in!0ector Kri-hanov!k#3 and Yurchenko3 tr#ing to e/0%ain3 to 0er!uade3 and Cuoting her own e/0erience a! a teacher. 1%% thi! wa! eing done without '# know%edge. I !at in '# roo'3 with '# kit uno0ened on the ta %e3 and 'o0ed. 8a#! 0a!!ed. Aow wou%d it endE +he head 'a!ter !aid& 91 'eeting of the teacher!> counci% wi%% e ca%%ed to con!ider the Cue!tion in it! entiret#.? +hi! !ounded awe<in!0iring. +he 'eeting took 0%ace. "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich went to hear the deci!ion. I waited for hi! return with greater e/cite'ent than I did in %ater #ear! for the !entence of the *-ar>! court. +he entr# down!tair! re!ounded with the fa'i%iar ang3 fa'i%iar foot!te0! 'ounted the iron !tairca!e3 the dining<roo' door o0ened3 and !i'u%taneou!%# fro' another roo' a00eared Fann# $o%o'onovna. 4ent%# I %ifted '# curtain. 9E/0e%%ed3? !aid "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich in a voice that etra#ed fatigue. 9E/0e%%edE? a!ked Fann# $o%o'onovna3 catching her reath. 9E/0e%%ed3? re0eated "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich in a !ti%% %ower tone. I !aid nothing3 on%# g%anced at "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich and Fann# $o%o'onovna3 and withdrew ehind '# curtain. 8uring the !u''er vacation3 on a vi!it to Yanovka3 Fann# $o%o'onovna de!cri ed the !cene& 95hen thi! word wa! uttered he turned a%% green3 !o that I eca'e ver# a%ar'ed a out hi'.? I did not cr#. I 'ere%# 0ined. 1t the teacher!> counci%3 three degree! of e/0u%!ion were de ated& without the right of @oining an# !choo%D without the right of re<entering the $t. Pau% realschuleD and fina%%#3 with the right of re<entering the %atter. +he %a!t and 'o!t %enient for' wa! !e%ected. I !huddered at the thought of the effect that reaking the new! wou%d have on '# 0arent!. "# guardian! did ever#thing in their 0ower to !often the %ow. Fann# $o%o'onovna wrote a %ong %etter to '# e%der !i!ter3 with in!truction! a! to how the new! !hou%d e roken. I !ta#ed on in Ode!!a unti% the end of the !choo% #ear3 and went ho'e for the vacation a! u!ua%. 8uring the %ong evening!3 when '# father and 'other were a%read# a!%ee03 I wou%d re%ate to '# !i!ter and o%de!t rother how it a%% ha00ened3 i'0er!onating the teacher! and the o#!. +he 'e'or# of their own !choo% %ife wa! !ti%% fre!h with '# !i!ter and rother. 1t the !a'e ti'e the# regarded the'!e%ve! a! '# !u0erior!. Now the# !hook their head!3 and then the# ur!t out %aughing over '# !tor#. Fro' %aughter '# !i!ter went on to tear! and cried co0iou!%#3 with her head re!ting on the ta %e. It wa! decided then that I wa! to go on a vi!it !o'ewhere for a week or two3 and whi%e I wa! awa# '# !i!ter wou%d te%% Father ever#thing. $he her!e%f wa! rather frightened # her co''i!!ion. 1fter the acade'ic fai%ure of '# o%de!t rother3 '# father>! a' ition had centred in 'e. +he fir!t #ear! !ee'ed to ear out hi! ho0e!3 and then !udden%# a%% had gone down with a cra!h.

,eturning to '# ho'e fro' the vi!it with a o# friend 4ri!ha3 the grand!on of "oi!!e# Kharitonovich3 the right<handed 'u!ician I in!tant%# 0erceived that ever#thing wa! known. "other we%co'ed 4ri!ha ver# cordia%%#3 ut 0retended that !he did not !ee 'e at a%%. On the contrar#3 Father ehaved a! if nothing had ha00ened. )ut a few da#! %ater3 whi%e he wa! re!ting in the coo% ha%% after co'ing ho'e fro' the fie%d!3 he !udden%# a!ked 'e in the 0re!ence of "other& 9$how 'e how #ou whi!t%ed at #our head 'a!ter. =ike thi!E 5ith two finger! in the 'outhE? 1nd i%%u!trating3 he ur!t out %aughing. "other3 great%# !ur0ri!ed3 ke0t 'oving her e#e! fro' Father to '#!e%f. On her face a !'i%e !trugg%ed with indignationD how cou%d one ta%k with !uch %evit# a out !uch dreadfu% thing!E )ut Father 0er!i!ted in hi! de'and& 9$how how #ou whi!t%ed.? 1nd hi! %aughter grew !ti%% 'errier. Pained a! he wa!3 he o viou!%# re%i!hed the idea that hi! off!0ring3 de!0ite hi! tit%e of the !tar !tudent3 had daring enough to whi!t%e at high officia%!. In vain did I tr# to convince hi' that there wa! no whi!t%ing3 ut on%# a 0eacefu% and 0erfect%# innocent how%. Ae in!i!ted that it wa! whi!t%ing. It ended u0 with "other ur!ting into tear!. I 'ade hard%# an# effort to 0re0are for the e/a'ination!. 5hat had taken 0%ace 'ade 'e %o!e3 for the ti'e eing3 a%% intere!t in !tud#. I !0ent a re!t%e!! !u''er with ever<recurring f%are<u0! of i%% te'0er3 and a out a fortnight efore the e/a'ination! returned to Ode!!a3 ut even there worked ver# ad%#. Perha0! the greate!t effort I 'ade wa! in the !tud# of French. 1t the actua% e/a'ination3 however3 )urnande confined hi'!e%f to a few cur!or# Cue!tion!. Other teacher! a!ked even %e!!. I wa! ad'itted to the third grade. +here I 'et 'o!t of the o#! who had either etra#ed 'e3 or defended 'e3 or had re'ained neutra%. +hi! deter'ined '# 0er!ona% re%ation! for a %ong ti'e. $o'e o#! I cut co'0%ete%#D with other! who had !u00orted 'e during the!e tr#ing 'o'ent!3 I eca'e even 'ore friend%#. $uch3 one 'ight !a#3 wa! the fir!t 0o%itica% te!t I underwent. +he!e were the grou0! that re!u%ted fro' that e0i!ode& the ta%e< earer! and the enviou! at one 0o%e3 the frank3 courageou! o#! at the other3 and the neutra%3 vaci%%ating 'a!! in the 'idd%e. +he!e three grou0! never Cuite di!a00eared even during the #ear! that fo%%owed. I 'et the' again and again in '# %ife3 in the 'o!t varied circu'!tance!. +he !now wa! not #et a%% c%eared fro' the !treet! ut it wa! a%read# war'. +he hou!eto0!3 the tree!3 and the !0arrow! 0roc%ai'ed the !0ring. +he fourth<grade o# wa! wa%king ho'e3 carr#ing in hi! hand3 again!t a%% regu%ation!3 a !tra0 fro' hi! kit3 the rea!on eing that the hook wa! torn off. +he %ong coat !ee'ed u!e%e!! and heav#3 'ere%# cau!ing one>! od# to 0er!0ire. Fatigue went with it. +he o# !aw ever#thing in a new %ight3 hi'!e%f a ove a%%. +he !0ring !un !ti'u%ated the fee%ing that there wa! !o'ething i''ea!ura %# 'ightier than the !choo%3 the in!0ector3 and the kit hanging a!%ant on the ack 'ightier than !tud#ing3 che!!3 dinner! and even reading and the theatreD in !hort3 than a%% of one>! ever#<da# %ife. 1nd the %onging after thi! !o'ething unfatho'ed3 co''anding o edience and ri!ing high a ove the individua%3 !ei-ed u0on the o#>! entire eing down to the 'arrow of hi! one! and ca%%ed forth the !weet 0ain of e/hau!tion. Ae ca'e ho'e with a u--ing head3 with 0ainfu% 'u!ic in hi! te'0%e!. 8ro00ing the kit on the ta %e3 he %a# down on the ed and3 hard%# rea%i-ing what he wa! doing3 egan to wee0 into the 0i%%ow. +o find an e/cu!e for hi! tear!3 he reca%%ed 0itifu% !cene! fro' ook! and fro' hi! own

%ife3 a! if to feed the furnace with fre!h fue%3 and we0t and we0t with tear! of !0ring %onging. Ae wa! in the fourteenth #ear of hi! %ife. Fro' hi! chi%dhood the o# had !uffered fro' a di!ea!e which the doctor! in their officia% certificate! de!cri ed a! chronic catarrh of the dige!tive tract3 and which wa! c%o!e%# intertwined with hi! entire %ife. Often he had to take 'edicine3 and go on a diet. Nervou! !hock! near%# a%wa#! affected hi! dige!tion. In the fourth grade3 the di!ea!e eca'e !o acute that it cri00%ed hi! !tudie!. 1fter a %ong ut un!ucce!!fu% cour!e of treat'ent3 the doctor! 0a!!ed !entence& the inva%id 'u!t e !ent to the countr#. I received the doctor!> verdict with 0%ea!ure rather than with regret. )ut it wa! nece!!ar# to gain the con!ent of '# 0arent!. It wa! nece!!ar# to get a tutor to !ta# with 'e in the countr# to avoid %o!ing a #ear at !choo%. +hi! 'eant e/tra e/0en!e3 and the# did not %ike e/tra e/0en!e at Yanovka. 5ith the he%0 of "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich3 however3 the 'atter wa! fina%%# ar ranged. +he !tudent 4. wa! engaged a! a tutor a %itt%e 'an with a huge 'ane of hair3 grown noticea %# gra# on the !ide!. Ae wa! !%ight%# vain3 and !%ight%# fanta!tic3 ver# ta%kative and utter%# %acking in character3 one of that t#0e of for'er undergraduate with an unco'0%eted education which never !ucceed! in %ife. Ae wrote ver!e and even had two 0oe'! 0u %i!hed in the %oca% 0a0er. +he two i!!ue! were a%wa#! with hi'3 and he wa! on%# too 0%ea!ed to !how the'. Ai! re%ation! with 'e were !u @ect to !0a!'odic out ur!t! tending con!tant%# to get wor!e. 1t fir!t 4. e!ta %i!hed with 'e a re%ation!hi0 of ever growing fa'i%iarit#3 in!i!ting on ever# occa!ion that he wanted to e '# friend. +o thi! end he !howed 'e the 0hotogra0h of a certain *%audia and de!cri ed their rather co'0%icated re%ation!. +hen he wou%d !udden%# draw ack and de'and fro' 'e the re!0ectfu% attitude due the teacher fro' hi! 0u0i%. +hi! grote!Cue !ituation ended ad%#D there wa! a vio%ent Cuarre%3 and a fina% reak etween u!. )ut even the e0i!ode with the tutor wa! not without effect3 whatever one 'a# think of it. Aere wa! a 'an with gra#ing hair confiding to 'e the !ecret! of hi! a!!ociation with a wo'an who in her 0hotogra0h %ooked ver# i'0o!ing. +hi! 'ade 'e fee% o%der. In the u00er grade! the teaching of %iterature 0a!!ed fro' Kri-hanov!k# to the hand! of 4a'ov. +he %atter wa! !ti%% a #oung 'an3 fair<haired3 rather 0%u'03 ver# !hort<!ighted3 and without the %ea!t !0ark of intere!t in hi! !u @ect. 5e di!'a%%# tottered a%ong after hi' fro' cha0ter to cha0ter. +o to0 thi! off3 4a'ov wa! a%!o not 0unctua% and wou%d 0ut off indefinite%# the reviewing of our 0a0er!. In the fifth grade we were !u00o!ed to do four ho'e 0a0er! on %iterature. I egan to regard the ta!k with an ever<growing attach'ent. I read not on%# the !ource! indicated # the teacher3 ut a nu' er of other ook! a! we%%3 co0#ing out fact! and 0a!!age!3 a%tering and a00ro0riating the !entence! that caught '# i'agination3 and in genera% working with a great enthu!ia!' which did not a%wa#! !to0 at the thre!ho%d of innocent 0%agiari!'. +here were a few other o#! who did not regard co'0o!ition 'ere%# a! an odiou! ta!k. E/cited%# !o'e with fear3 other! with ho0e the fifth<grade o#! waited for the grading of their work. )ut the 'ark! never arrived. +he !a'e thing ha00ened in the !econd Cuarter of the !choo% #ear. In the third Cuarter I handed in a 0a0er which fi%%ed an entire 0ad. 1 week 0a!!ed3 then a !econd3 and a third ut there wa! no trace of our work. *autiou!%# we rought the fact to 4a'ov>! attention. Ai! an!wer wa! eva!ive. 1t the ne/t %e!!on Ya %onov!k#3 a%!o an eager co'0o!ition<writer3 0ut the Cue!tion 0oint %ank to 4a'ov& what wa! the rea!on for our never

%earning the fate of our 0a0er!3 and what did actua%%# ha00en to the'E 4a'ov !har0%# to%d hi' to !hut u0. )ut Ya %onov!k# wou%d not give u0. Knitting hi! e#e row! !ti%% c%o!er together3 he egan nervou!%# to 0u%% at the to0 of hi! de!k3 and3 rai!ing hi! voice3 ke0t re0eating that it wa! 9i'0o!!i %e to go on working %ike thi!.? 9I 'u!t a!k #ou again to kee0 !i%ent and !it down3? an!wered 4a'ov. )ut Ya %onov!k# wou%d neither !it down nor !to0 ta%king. 9P%ea!e %eave the roo'3? !houted 4a'ov. "# re%ation! with Ya %onov!k# had not een friend%# for !o'e ti'e. +he affair with )urnande in the !econd grade taught 'e to e 'ore circu'!0ect. )ut here I fe%t that I cou%d not kee0 !i%ent. 91nton "ikai%ovich3? I cried3 9Ya %onov!k# i! right and we a%% !u00ort hi'.? 9Ae>! right3 he>! right3? echoed other o#!. 4a'ov at fir!t !ee'ed !o'ewhat taken a ack3 ut i''ediate%# recovered3 and f%#ing into a rage !houted at the to0 of hi! voice& 9I know '#!e%f what to do and when to do it ... I don>t take order! fro' #ou. You are vio%ating the ru%e! ...? 5e had evident%# touched !o'e !ore !0ot. 95e on%# want to !ee our 0a0er!3 that>! a%%3? a third one chi'ed in. 4a'ov wa! fu'ing. 9Ya %onov!k#3 %eave the roo' at onceJ? he !houted. Ya %onov!k# did not udge. 94o out3 do go out3? ca'e whi!0er! fro' a%% !ide!. $hrugging hi! !hou%der!3 ro%%ing the white! of hi! e#e!3 and !ta'0ing heavi%# with hi! oot!3 Ya %onov!k# %eft the roo'3 anging the door with a%% the force he cou%d 'u!ter. 1t the eginning of rece!! Ka'in!k# !%id into the roo' on hi! noi!e%e!! ru er !o%e!. +hi! wa! a ad o'en. +he roo' eca'e ver# Cuiet. In a hu!k# fa%!etto voice %ike a drunkard>!3 he ad'ini!tered a !hort3 ut ver# !tern re0roof containing a threat of e/0u%!ion fro' the !choo%3 and announced the 0uni!h'ent& Ya %onov!k# to e 0ut in !o%itar# confine'ent for twent#<four hour!3 and to e given a 9three? in conductD for 'e3 twent#<four hour! in !o%itar# confine'entD and for the third 0rote!tant3 twe%ve hour!. +hat wa! the !econd ho%e on '# acade'ic road. +he ca!e rought no other i'0ortant con!eCuence!. 4a'ov did not return our 0a0er!3 in !0ite of ever#thing. 1nd we too tried to forget the 'atter. +hat #ear wa! 'arked # the death of the *-ar. +he event !ee'ed tre'endou!3 even incredi %e3 ut ver# di!tant3 %ike an earthCuake in another countr#. Neither I nor the 0eo0%e a out 'e were at a%% 'oved # the *-ar>! i%%ne!!3 fe%t an# !#'0ath# for hi'3 or an# !orrow on account of hi! death. 5hen I ca'e to !choo% the fo%%owing 'orning3 the 0%ace !ee'ed gri00ed # !o'ething %ike a great3 ut cau!e%e!! 0anic. 9+he *-ar i! dead3? !aid the o#! one to another3 and did not know what to !a# ne/t3 or how to e/0re!! their fee%ing!3 for the# did not rea%i-e the'!e%ve! what thi! fee%ing wa!. )ut the# knew we%% that there wou%d e no c%a!!e!3 and3 without !howing it3 were 0%ea!ed at the 0ro!0ect3 0articu%ar%# tho!e who had not done their ho'ework3 or who were afraid of eing ca%%ed down. +he @anitor directed a%% co'er! into the ig ha%% where reCuie' !ervice! were eing arranged. +he 0rie!t in go%d !0ectac%e! !aid a few a00ro0riate word!& chi%dren are grieved when their father die! how 'uch greater 'u!t e the grief when the father of the who%e 0eo0%e die!J )ut there wa! no grief. +he reCuie' dragged on. It wa! tr#ing and du%%. Ever# od# wa! ordered to 0ut a 'ourning< and around hi! %eft ar' and to cover the adge on hi! ca0 with %ack 'u!%in. Ever#thing e%!e went on a! efore. In the fifth grade3 the o#! were a%read# e/changing view! a out going to co%%ege and choo!ing their vocation!. 1 great dea% of ta%k centred on the co'0etitive entrance e/a'ination!3 on the

!ternne!! of the $t. Peter! urg 0rofe!!or! toward the a00%icant!3 the trick# 0ro %e'! that were a!ked3 and the !0ecia%i!t! in $t. Peter! urg who coached o#! for their e/a'ination!. 1'ong the o%der o#! we knew3 there were !o'e who went to $t. Peter! urg #ear after #ear3 f%unked the e/a'ination!3 0re0ared again3 and again went through the !a'e e/0erience. 1t the thought of the!e future tria%! 'an# a o# fe%t hi! heart free-e two #ear! efore the ti'e. +he !i/th grade 0a!!ed without incident. Ever# od# wa! an/iou! to e!ca0e fro' the !choo% drudger# a! !oon a! 0o!!i %e. +he 'atricu%ation e/a'ination! were !taged with a%% 0o'0 in the great ha%%3 and with the 0artici0ation of univer!it# 0rofe!!or! !ent e!0ecia%%# # the educationa% authoritie!. +he head 'a!ter wou%d o0en with great !o%e'nit# the 0ackage received fro' the in!0ector<genera%3 which contained the !u @ect for the 0a0er!. It! announce'ent wa! u!ua%%# fo%%owed # a genera% !igh of fear3 a! if ever# od# had een di00ed into ic# water. +he nervou! !u!0en!e 'ade one think that the ta!k wa! utter%# e#ond one>! 0ower!. )ut further con!ideration !oon revea%ed that the fear! were 'uch e/aggerated. 1! the ti'e drew toward the end of the two hour! a%%otted for each 0a0er3 the teacher! the'!e%ve! wou%d he%0 u! deceive the vigi%ance of the regiona% authoritie!. Aaving fini!hed '# 0a0er3 I did not hand it in i''ediate%# ut re'ained in the ha%%3 # a tacit agree'ent with the in!0ector Kri-hanov!k#3 and engaged in ani'ated corre!0ondence with tho!e who found the'!e%ve! in difficu%tie!. +he !eventh grade wa! con!idered a !u00%e'entar# one. +here wa! no !eventh grade in the $t. Pau% realschule and thi! nece!!itated a tran!fer to another !choo%. In the interi' we found our!e%ve! free citi-en!. For the occa!ion ever# od# outfitted hi'!e%f in civi%ian attire. +he ver# evening of the da# we received our di0%o'a!3 a %arge grou0 of u! di!0orted our!e%ve! in the $u''er 4arden3 where ga# ca aret actre!!e! !ang on the o0en !tage and where !choo% o#! were !trict%# for idden to enter. 5e a%% wore necktie! and !'oked cigarette!3 and there were two ott%e! of eer adorning the ta %e. 8ee0 in our heart! we were afraid of our own daring. No !ooner had we o0ened the fir!t ott%e when the !choo% 'onitor 5i%he%'3 nickna'ed 9the goat? ecau!e of hi! %eating voice3 !0rang u0 right efore our ta %e. In!tinctive%# we 'ade an effort to ri!e3 and fe%t our heart! @u'0. )ut ever#thing ca'e off we%%. 9You are a%read# hereE? !aid 5i%he%' with a tinge of regret in hi! voice3 and graciou!%# !hook hand! with u!. +he e%de!t of the o#!3 K.3 wearing a ring on hi! %itt%e finger3 noncha%ant%# invited the 'onitor to have a g%a!! of eer with u!. +hi! wa! carr#ing it too far. 5i%he%'3 with a !how of dignit#3 dec%ined and3 hurried%# !a#ing 9good< #3? wa%ked awa# in !earch of the o#! who ventured to !te0 over the for idden thre!ho%d of the 4arden. 5ith redou %ed awarene!! of our own !tatu! we attacked the eer. +he !even #ear! I !0ent in the !choo%3 eginning with the 0re0arator# c%a!!3 had their @o#! too. )ut it wou%d !ee' that the!e were not a! 0%entifu% a! !orrow!. +he co%or of '# 'e'or# of the !choo%3 taken a! a who%e3 ha! re'ained if not Cuite %ack3 at %ea!t decided%# gra#. 1 ove a%% the e0i!ode! of !choo% %ife3 whether ga# or !ad3 towered the regi'e of !ou%%e!!3 officia% for'a%i!'. It wou%d e difficu%t to na'e a !ing%e teacher of who' I cou%d think with genuine affection. 1nd #et our !choo% wa! not the wor!t. It certain%# did teach 'e a few thing!& e%e'entar# know%edge3 the ha it of 'ethodica% work3 and out ward di!ci0%ine. 1%% the!e ca'e in advantageou!%# in '# %ater %ife. +he !a'e !choo%3 however3 !owed in 'e3 contrar# to it! direct 0ur0o!e3 the !eed! of en'it# for the e/i!ting order. +he!e !eed!3 at an# rate3 did not fa%% on arren ground.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! V

%&6'T!4 A'D T&*'

+he fir!t nine #ear! of '# %ife3 without a reak3 I !0ent in the countr#. 8uring the ne/t !even #ear! I returned there ever# !u''er3 !o'eti'e! a%!o at *hri!t'a! and Ea!ter. I wa! c%o!e%# ound to Yanovka and a%% it! environ! unti% I wa! near%# eighteen. +hroughout the ear%# 0art of '# chi%dhood the inf%uence of the countr# wa! 0ara'ount. In the ne/t 0eriod3 however3 it had to defend it!e%f again!t the inf%uence of the town3 and wa! forced to retreat a%% a%ong the %ine. +he countr# 'ade 'e fa'i%iar with agricu%ture3 the f%our<'i%%3 and the 1'erican !heaf inding 'achine. It rought 'e into c%o!e contact with 0ea!ant!3 the one! who %ived near # and ca'e to the f%our<'i%%3 and tho!e far<awa# one! fro' the Hkrainian di!trict!3 who ca'e with a !c#the and a ag ehind their ack!. "uch of '# countr# %ife vani!hed fro' '# 'e'or# or wa! !hoved into the !u con!ciou!3 ut at ever# new turn !o'e !'a%% 0art of it wou%d e'erge3 often to he%0 'e great%#. +he countr# rought 'e face to face with the variou! t#0e! of decadence in the gentr#3 and the t#0e! of ca0ita%i!t aggrandi-e'ent. It revea%ed to 'e the natura% coar!ene!! of 'an# a!0ect! of hu'an re%ation!hi0!3 and inten!ified '# fee%ing for that other ur an t#0e of cu%ture3 at once 'ore advanced and 'ore contradictor#. It wa! on '# ver# fir!t vacation that the contra!t etween town and countr# i'0re!!ed it!e%f on '# 'ind. On '# @ourne# ho'e I wa! a%% i'0atience. "# heart wa! eating with @o#. I %onged to !ee ever#thing again3 and to e !een. 1t Nov#<)ug I wa! 'et # '# father. I !howed hi' '# !choo% re0ort3 0roud%# di!0%a#ing '# high 'ark!3 and e/0%ained that now I wa! in the fir!t grade and therefore I had to have a fu%%<dre!! unifor'. 5e were driving # night3 in a covered wagon3 with a #oung 'i%% a!!i!tant in the 0%ace of the coach'an. On the !te00e3 0articu%ar%# in the de%%!3 one fe%t a !%ight draft of co%d3 'i!t# air3 which 'ade '# father wra0 'e in a huge *o!!ack c%oak. I wa! into/icated with the change of environ'ent3 with the drive3 the reco%%ection!3 the new i'0re!!ion!3 and wa! ver# ta%kative3 running on a out the !choo%3 the 0u %ic ath!3 '# friend Ko!t#a ,.3 the theatre3 and !o on. I gave fu%% de!cri0tion! fir!t of the Na7ar Stodolya3 and then of The Tenant with a Tro#bone. "# father3 !o'eti'e! awake3 !o'eti'e! a!%ee03 %i!tened to 'e3 and %aughed Cuite a it. +he #oung a! !i!tant !hook hi! head fro' ti'e to ti'e3 and turning to '# father !aid& 95hat a !tor#J? +oward 'orning I fe%% a!%ee03 and woke u0 at Yanovka. Our hou!e %ooked terri %# !'a%% to 'e nowD the ho'e<'ade wheat read !ee'ed gra#3 and the who%e routine of countr# %ife !ee'ed at once fa'i%iar and !trange. I de!cri ed the theatre to '# 'other and !i!ter!3 ut not near%# !o fervent%# a! I had to '# father. In the work!ho0 I found (ictor and 8avid !o changed I cou%d

!carce%# recogni-e the' the# had grown igger and !tronger. )ut the# thought 'e different3 too. Fro' the fir!t the# egan to addre!! 'e with the 'ore re!0ectfu% 9v#? (#ou)3 at which I 0rote!ted. 95e%%3 what e%!e can I ca%% #ouE? retorted 8avid. 9You are now a %earned 'an.? 8uring '# a !ence Ivan (a!i%#evich had 'arried. +he !ervant!> kitchen had een re ui%t and !erved hi' a! a hou!e3 whi%e a new hut ehind the 'achine<!ho0 had een 'ade over into a kitchen. +he!e were not the 'o!t i'0ortant thing!3 however. $o'e thing new had grown u0 %ike a wa%% etween '#!e%f and the thing! ound u0 with '# chi%dhood. Ever#thing !ee'ed the !a'e and #et Cuite different. O @ect! and 0eo0%e %ooked %ike counterfeit! of the'!e%ve!. Of cour!e3 certain thing! had changed during the #ear. )ut other! !ee'ed changed %arge%# ecau!e I !aw the' with different e#e!. 1fter '# fir!t return ho'e3 I egan to grow awa# fro' '# fa'i%#. 1t fir!t the reach revea%ed it!e%f in trivia%itie!3 ut a! the #ear! went on it eca'e 'ore and 'ore !eriou! and far<reaching. +he conf%icting inf%uence! of town and countr# co%ored the entire 0eriod of '# !choo% %ife. In the town '# re%ation! with other 0eo0%e were3 I fe%t3 'ore con!tant. 5ith the e/ce0tion of a few conf%ict!3 however vio%ent3 !uch a! tho!e with the teacher! of French and ,u!!ian3 I got a%ong 0eacefu%%# under the !choo% and fa'i%# di!ci0%ine. +hi! !hou%d e attri uted not on%# to the 'ode of %ife in the $ch0ent-er hou!eho%d3 in which !en!i %e !trictne!! and co'0arative%# high !tandard! in 0er!ona% re%ation! were the ru%e3 ut a%!o to the who%e !#!te' of %ife in the cit#. +o e !ure3 it! contradiction! were no %e!! 'arked than tho!e of countr# %ife in fact the# were greater ut in town the# were 'ore di!gui!ed3 contro%%ed3 and regu%ated. Peo0%e of different c%a!!e! in town ca'e into contact with one another on%# in their u!ine!! re%ation!D out!ide of the!e the# did not e/i!t for one another. In the countr# ever# od# %ived in o0en view of ever# od# e%!e. +he re%ation!hi0 etween a 'a!ter and a !ervant !tood out there %ike a !0ring in an o%d couch. "# own ehavior in the countr# wa! 'ore un a%anced and Cuarre%!o'e. +here were !evera% occa!ion! when I Cuarre%%ed even with Fann# $o%o'onovna3 who3 on her vi!it! to Yanovka3 !o'eti'e! cautiou!%# !ided with '# 'other or !i!ter!D and #et in town '# re%ation! with her were not on%# friend%# ut even affectionate. +he!e c%a!he! !o'eti'e! !0rang u0 out of 'ere trif%e!. On other occa!ion!3 however3 !o'e thing 'uch 'ore i'0ortant wa! at their !ource. In a fre!h%# %aundered duck !uit3 with a %eather e%t that had a ra!! uck%e3 and a white ca0 with a g%ittering #e%%ow adge3 I fe%t that I wa! !i'0%# 'agnificent. 1nd I had to !how ever# od#. +ogether with '# father3 I drove into the fie%d on a da# when the harve!ting of winter wheat wa! at it! 0eak. +he head 'ower 1rkhi03 %ooking at once !u%%en and kind%#3 wa! %eading the wa# over the hi%%3 fo%%owed # e%even 'ower! and twe%ve wo'en inder!. +we%ve !c#the! were cutting the wheat and the !u%tr# air a! we%%. 1rkhi0>! feet were wra00ed in 0iece! of c%oth tightened # a utton. +he wo'en inder! wore torn !kirt!3 or !i'0%# !hirt! of un %eached cotton. Fro' a di!tance the !ound of the 'owing<!c#the! wa! a! if the hot air it!e%f were ringing. 95e%%3 we%%3 %et>! !ee what thi! winter wheat i! %ike3? !aid Father3 taking 1rkhi0>! !c#the and !te00ing into hi! 0%ace. I watched hi' e/cited%#. Father 'ade !i'0%e3 ho'e%# 'ove'ent!3 a! if he were not actua%%# working ut on%# getting read# to egin3 and hi! !te0! were %ight and tentative a! if he were %ooking for a 0%ace to get a etter !wing. Ai! !c#the wa! a%!o 'oving !i'0%#3 without an# !wagger a out it3 and even or !o it !ee'ed not Cuite fir'%#. 1nd #et it wa!

cutting ver# %ow and ver# even%#3 with each !wift !have %a#ing the ear! in a !traight e%t running a%ong on hi! %eft. 1rkhi0 %ooked on with one e#e3 c%ear%# a00roving Father>! !ki%%. +he attitude of the other! varied. $o'e !ee'ed to e !#'0athetic3 a! if the# thought the o%d fe%%ow were no 'ere novice3 whi%e other! were indifferent3 a! if fee%ing that it wa! no great achieve'ent to 'ow what wa! one>! own3 and in order to !how off3 at that. Pro a %# I did not tran!%ate their thought! into e/act word!3 ut I had an inten!e rea%i-ation of the co'0%icated 'echanic! of their re%ation!. 1fter Father had %eft for another fie%d3 I a%!o 'ade an atte'0t to wie%d the !c#the. 9$trike the ha# on #our hee%3 o#3 on #our hee%D kee0 #our toe! free3 don>t 0re!!.? )ut in '# e/cite'ent I cou%dn>t Cuite !ee where that hee% of 'ine actua%%# wa!3 and on the third !wing of the !c#the '# toe! dug right into the earth. 9+hat wi%% !oon fini!h the !c#the3 if #ou go on %ike thi!3? !aid 1rkhi0. 9You>d etter %earn fro' #our father.? 1 wo'an inder3 dark<faced and covered with du!t3 gave 'e a !neering %ook. I !te00ed out of the rank! with decided ha!te3 !ti%% in '# adge< adorned ca03 fro' under which !weat wa! co'ing down in !trea'!. 94o and eat cake! with #our 'other3? ca'e 'ocking%# fro' ehind. It wa! "utu-ka. I knew that 'ower3 with a !kin a! dark a! hi! oot!. +hi! wa! hi! third #ear at Yanovka. Ae %ived in the vi%%age3 had hi! wit! a out hi'3 wa! !har0 with hi! tongue3 and on occa!ion in the 0receding #ear3 in '# hearing and for '# !0ecia% enefit3 had !0oken na!t# ut ver# a0t word! a out hi! 'a!ter!. Ai! !'artne!! and daring a00ea%ed to '# i'agination3 ut hi! un rid%ed and !ha'e%e!! !coffing 'ade 'e oi% with i'0otent hatred. I !hou%d have %iked to !a# !o'ething to hi' that wou%d win hi' over to '# !ide3 or3 on the contrar#3 to 0u%% hi' u0 with a !har0 word of co''and3 ut I did not know what to !a#. 1! I returned ho'e fro' the fie%d I !aw a arefooted wo'an at our door<!te0. $he wa! !itting on the ground3 %eaning again!t the wa%%3 having a00arent%# not courage enough to !it on the !tone !te0. $he wa! the 'other of a ha%f<witted !he0herd o#3 Ignatka3 and !he had wa%ked !even (ersts to our hou!e to get one rou %e that wa! owed her. )ut there wa! no one in the hou!e3 and !he cou%d not get her rou %eD !o !he had to wait unti% evening. It 'ade '# heart tighten to %ook at that figure the e' odi'ent of 0overt# and !u 'i!!ion. It wa! no etter ne/t #earD in fact3 it wa! wor!e. I wa! returning ho'e after a ga'e of croCuet when I 'et '# father in the court#ard. Ae had @u!t arrived fro' the fie%d!3 a%% cov ered with du!t3 worn out and in a ad hu'or. 1 0ea!ant3 a 0ie a%d %itt%e 'an3 wa! !tu'0ing ehind hi' on are3 %ack<hee%ed feet. 9For the =ord>! !ake3 0%ea!e %et 'e have '# cow3? he ke0t !a#ing3 !wearing that he wou%d do ever#thing to kee0 it awa# fro' the fie%d!. Father an!wered& 9Your cow 'a# eat on%# ten ko0eck!> worth of grain3 ut it wi%% do ten rou %e!> worth of da'age.? +he 0ea!ant ke0t on e!eeching3 and in hi! 0%ea! one cou%d fee% hi! hatred. +he !cene !tirred 'e to '# ver# 'arrow. +he genia% 'ood I had carried awa# fro' the croCuet court with it! fringe of 0ear<tree!3 where I had routed '# !i!ter! with f%#ing co%or!3 in!tant%# gave wa# to a fee%ing of inten!e de!0air. I !%i00ed 0a!t '# father into '# edroo'3 and fa%%ing f%at on the ed3 gave '#!e%f u0 to tear!3 de!0ite '# !tatu! of a o# of the !econd grade. Father wa%ked through the ha%% into the dining<roo'3 with the %itt%e 0ea!ant 0attering ehind hi' u0 to the door<!te0. I cou%d hear their voice!. +hen the 0ea!ant %eft. "other ca'e fro' the 'i%% I cou%d recogni-e her voice at onceD the !ound of 0%ate! eing 0re0ared for dinner ca'e through3 and I heard "other ca%%ing 'e.

)ut I did not an!wer3 and went on wee0ing. +ear! were eginning to #ie%d a !en!e of %i!!fu% 0%ea!ure. +hen the door o0ened3 and "other ent over 'e. 95hat>! the 'atter3 =#ovochkaE? I 'ade no an!wer. "other and Father whi!0ered !o'ething to one another. 91re #ou u0!et a out that 0ea!antE )ut we gave hi' ack hi! cow3 and we did not fine hi'.? 9I a' not u0!et a out that at a%%3? I an!wered fro' under the 0i%%ow3 0ainfu%%# a!ha'ed of the cau!e of '# tear!. 91nd we didn>t fine hi'3? "other !aid again3 with e'0ha!i!. It wa! Father who had gue!!ed the cau!e of '# !orrow and to%d "other. Father noticed 'uch in 0a!!ing3 with one Cuick g%ance. One da# when Father wa! awa#3 a 0o%ice !ergeant3 a rude3 greed#3 and arrogant creature3 ca'e down and de'anded the worker!> 0a!!0ort!. Ae found two overdue. I''ediate%# he ca%%ed their owner! fro' the fie%d and dec%ared the' under arre!t3 for conve#ance to their ho'e! a! 0ri!oner!. One of the' wa! an o%d 'an who!e rown neck wa! !hrive%%ed into dee0 fo%d!D the other wa! hi! #oung ne0hew. +he# dro00ed to their 0arched knee! on the earthen f%oor of the ha%%3 fir!t the o%d 'an3 then the #ounger one3 and owed their head! to the ground. +he# ke0t !a#ing& 98o e 'ercifu% don>t ruin u!3 !irJ? +he fat and !weating !ergeant 0%a#ed with hi! !word3 drank co%d 'i%k that had een rought to hi' fro' the ce%%ar3 and an!wered& 9I give 'erc# on%# on fea!t<da#!3 and thi! i! a week da#.? I fe%t a! if I were !itting on fire3 and in a roken voice %et fa%% !o'e word! of 0rote!t. 9You>d etter 'ind #our own u!ine!!3 #oung 'an3? the !ergeant re'arked with !tern de%i eration3 whi%e '# e%der !i!ter waved her finger at 'e warning%#. +he !ergeant %eft with the two %a orer!. 8uring '# vacation I attended to the ookkee0ing3 that i!3 I took turn a out with '# e%der rother and !i!ter3 entering in the ook! the na'e! of %a orer! e'0%o#ed3 the ter'! of e'0%o#'ent3 and 0a#'ent! 'ade3 whether in kind or in ca!h. I often a!!i!ted '# father when wage! were 0aid out3 and on tho!e occa!ion! there were !udden3 rief f%a!he! of te'0er etween u!3 which re'ained !u00re!!ed on%# ecau!e of the 0re!ence of the %a orer!. +here wa! never an# cheating in the 'aking u0 of the account!3 ut the ter'! of e'0%o#'ent were a%wa#! inter0reted har!h%#. +he %a orer!3 0articu%ar%# the o%der one!3 !en!ed that the o# wa! on their !ide3 and thi! anno#ed Father. 1fter our c%a!he!3 I wou%d go out with a ook and wou%d !ta# awa# even through dinner. On one !uch occa!ion3 I wa! caught in a !tor' in the fie%d!. +here wa! a continuou! cracking of thunder3 the !te00e rain wa! gurg%ing in rivu%et!3 and %ightning ke0t f%a!hing fro' a%% !ide! a! if tr#ing to get at 'e. I went on 0acing u0 and down3 a%% !oaked through3 in !hoe! that #e%0ed %ike dog!3 and in a ca0 that %ooked %ike a water!0out. 5hen I returned ho'e I wa! greeted with !ide %ong g%ance! and !i%ence. $i!ter gave 'e a change of dr# c%othe! and !o'ething to eat.

,eturning to town after the vacation!3 I wa! u!ua%%# acco'0anied # '# father. 1! a ru%e we did not take a 0orter ut carried our %uggage our!e%ve!. Father carried the heavier ag!3 and # hi! ack and di!tended ar'! I cou%d !ee that he wa! !training hi'!e%f. I fe%t !orr# for hi' and tried to carr# a! 'uch a! I cou%d. )ut when we ha00ened to have with u! a heav# o/ fu%% of gift! fro' ho'e for the re%ative! in Ode!!a3 we hired a 0orter. Father wa! !ting# with hi! ti0!3 the 0orter wa! di!!ati!fied3 and !hook hi! head angri%#. I a%wa#! fe%t ver# 0ained a out thi!. 5hen I trave%%ed a%one and had to re!ort to 0orter!3 I !0ent '# 0ocket<'one# in no ti'e3 %ooking an/iou!%# into the 0orter>! e#e!3 and a%wa#! afraid to give too %itt%e. +hi! wa! a reaction again!t the c%o!ene!! at ho'e3 and it ha! 0er!i!ted throughout '# %ife. In the countr# a! we%% a! in the town3 I %ived in a 0ett#< ourgeoi! environ'ent where the 0rinci0a% effort wa! directed toward acCui!ition. In thi! re!0ect3 I cut '#!e%f off oth fro' the countr# of '# ear%# chi%dhood and fro' the town of '# #outh. +he in!tinct of acCui!ition3 the 0ett#< ourgeoi! out%ook and ha it! of %ife fro' the!e I !ai%ed awa# with a 'ight# 0u!h3 and I did !o never to return. In the !0here! of re%igion and nationa%it#3 there wa! no o00o!ition etween the countr# and the townD on the contrar#3 the# co'0%e'ented one another in variou! re!0ect!. In '# father>! fa'i%# there wa! no !trict o !ervance of re%igion. 1t fir!t3 a00earance! were ke0t u0 through !heer inertia& on ho%# da#! '# 0arent! @ourne#ed to the !#nagogue in the co%on#D "other a !tained fro' !ewing on $aturda#!3 at %ea!t within the !ight of other!. )ut a%% thi! cere'onia% o !ervance of re%igion %e!!ened a! #ear! went on a! the chi%dren grew u0 and the 0ro!0erit# of the fa'i%# increa!ed. Father did not e%ieve in 4od fro' hi! #outh3 and in %ater #ear! !0oke o0en%# a out it in front of "other and the chi%dren. "other 0referred to avoid the !u @ect3 ut when occa!ion reCuired wou%d rai!e her e#e! in 0ra#er. 5hen I wa! a out !even or eight #ear! o%d3 e%ief in 4od wa! !ti%% regarded in the fa'i%# a! !o'ething officia%%# recogni-ed. On one occa!ion a vi!iting gue!t efore who' '# 0arent!3 a! wa! their wont3 were oa!ting a out their !on3 'aking 'e !how '# !ketche! and recite 0oetr#3 a!ked 'e the Cue!tion& 95hat do #ou know of 4odE? 94od i! a !ort of 'an3? I an!wered without he!itation. )ut the gue!t !hook hi! head& 9No3 4od i! not a 'an.? 95hat i! 4odE? I a!ked hi' in '# turn3 for e!ide! 'an I knew on%# ani'a%! and 0%ant!. +he gue!t3 '# father3 and '# 'other e/changed g%ance! with an e' arra!!ed !'i%e3 a! a%wa#! ha00en! a'ong grown<u0! when chi%dren egin to !hake the 'o!t fir'%# e!ta %i!hed convention!. 94od i! !0irit3? !aid the gue!t. Now it wa! I who %ooked with a !'i%e of confu!ion at '# !enior!3 tr#ing to read in their face! whether the# were !eriou! or @oking. )ut no3 it wa! not a @oke. I owed '# head efore their know%edge. $oon I got u!ed to the idea that 4od wa! !0irit. 1! eca'e a %itt%e !avage3 I connected 4od with '# own 9!0irit3? ca%%ing it 9!ou%3? and a%read#

knowing that 9!ou%3? that i!3 9 reath3? end! when death co'e!. L1M I did not #et know3 however3 that thi! doctrine ore the na'e of 9ani'i!'.? On '# fir!t vacation at ho'e3 when I wa! getting read# to go to !%ee0 on the !ofa in the dining< roo'3 I got into a di!cu!!ion a out 4od with the !tudent 6.3 who wa! a vi!iting gue!t at Yanovka and !%e0t on the divan. 1t that ti'e I wa! not Cuite !ure whether 4od did e/i!t or not3 and did not worr# 'uch a out it3 though I did not 'ind finding a definite an!wer. 95here doe! the !ou% go after deathE? I a!ked 6.3 ending over the 0i%%ow. 95here doe! it go when a 'an i! a!%ee0E? ca'e the an!wer. 95e%%3 it i! then !ti%% ...? I argued3 tr#ing to kee0 awake. 91nd where doe! the !ou% of the hor!e go when he dro0! deadE? 6. 0er!i!ted in hi! attack. +hi! an!wer !ati!fied 'e co'0%ete%#3 and I fe%% into a contented !%ee0. In the $ch0ent-er fa'i%#3 re%igion wa! not o !erved at a%%3 not counting the o%d aunt3 who did not 'atter. "# father3 however3 wanted 'e to know the )i %e in the origina%3 thi! eing one of the 'ark! of hi! 0arenta% vanit#3 and therefore I took 0rivate %e!!on! in the )i %e fro' a ver# %earned o%d 'an in Ode!!a. "# !tudie! %a!ted on%# a few 'onth! and did %itt%e to confir' 'e in the ance!tra% faith. 1 !ugge!tion of a dou %e 'eaning in the word! of '# teacher3 concerning !o'e te/t in the )i %e which we were !tud#ing3 0ro'0ted 'e to a!k a Cue!tion which I worded ver# cautiou!%# and di0%o'atica%%#& 9If we acce0t3 a! !o'e do3 that 4od doe! not e/i!t3 how did the wor%d co'e to eE? 9A'3? 'uttered the teacher3 9 ut #ou can turn thi! Cue!tion again!t hi' a! we%%.? In thi! ingeniou! wa# did the o%d 'an e/0re!! hi'!e%f. I rea%i-ed that the in!tructor in re%igion did not e%ieve in 4od3 and thi! !et '# 'ind co'0%ete%# at re!t. +he racia% and re%igiou! co'0o!ition of '# realschule wa! ver# heterogeneou!. ,e%igion wa! taught re!0ective%# # a ,u!!ian orthodo/ 0rie!t3 a Prote!tant 0ar!on3 a *atho%ic 0rie!t3 and a 7ewi!h in!tructor. +he ,u!!ian 0rie!t3 a ne0hew of the arch i!ho03 with the re0utation of eing a favorite with %adie!3 wa! a #oung and !triking%# good<%ooking 'an3 re!e' %ing the 0ortrait! of *hri!t B on%# of the drawing<roo' t#0eD he had go%d !0ectac%e! and a undant go%den hair3 and wa!3 in rief3 i'0o!!i %# hand!o'e. )efore the %e!!on in re%igion wa! to egin3 o#! of different 0er!ua!ion! wou%d divide into !e0arate grou0!3 and tho!e not of the orthodo/ ,u!!ian faith wou%d %eave the c%a!!roo'3 !o'eti'e! under the ver# no!e of the ,u!!ian 0rie!t. On !uch occa!ion! he 0ut on a !0ecia% e/0re!!ion3 in which conte'0t wa! on%# !%ight%# !oftened # true *hri!tian for earance3 a! he watched the o#! wa%k out. 95here are #ou goingE? he wou%d a!k !o'e o#. 95e are *atho%ic!3? ca'e the an!wer.

9Oh3 *atho%ic!J? he re0eated3 nodding hi! head3 9I !ee3 I !ee ... 1nd #ouE? 95e are 7ew!.? 9Oh3 7ew!3 I !ee3 7ew!J 7u!t !o3 @u!t !oJ? +he *atho%ic 0rie!t ca'e %ike a %ack !hadow3 a%wa#! a00earing right again!t the wa%% and di!a00earing !o incon!0icuou!%# that throughout a%% '# #ear! there I cou%d never get a %ook at hi! !haven face. 1 good<natured 'an # the na'e of 6iege%'an in!tructed the 7ewi!h o#! in the )i %e and the hi!tor# of the 7ewi!h 0eo0%e. +he!e %e!!on!3 conducted in ,u!!ian3 were never taken !eriou!%# # the o#!. In '# 'enta% eCui0'ent3 nationa%it# never occu0ied an in de0endent 0%ace3 a! it wa! fe%t ut %itt%e in ever#da# %ife. It i! true that after the %aw! of 1GG13 which re!tricted the right! of 7ew! in ,u!!ia3 '# father wa! una %e to u# 'ore %and3 a! he wa! !o an/iou! to do3 ut cou%d on%# %ea!e it under cover. +hi!3 however3 !carce%# affected '# own 0o!ition. 1! !on of a 0ro!0erou! %andowner3 I e%onged to the 0rivi%eged c%a!! rather than to the o00re!!ed. +he %anguage in '# fa'i%# and hou!eho%d wa! ,u!!ian<Hkrainian. +rue enough3 the nu' er of 7ewi!h o#! a%%owed to @oin the !choo%! wa! %i'ited to a fi/ed 0ercentage3 on account of which I %o!t one #ear. )ut in the !choo% I wa! a%wa#! at the to0 of the grade and wa! not 0er!ona%%# affected # the re!triction!. In '# !choo% there wa! no o0en aiting of nationa%itie!. +o !o'e e/tent the variet# of nationa% e%e'ent!3 not on%# a'ong the o#! ut a'ong the 'a!ter! a! we%%3 acted a! an i'0ortant check on !uch 0o%icie!. One cou%d !en!e3 however3 the e/i!tence of a !u00re!!ed chauvini!' which now and again roke through to the !urface. +he teacher of hi!tor#3 =#u i'ov3 !howed 'arked 0arti!an!hi0 when Cue!tioning a Po%i!h o# a out the *atho%ic 0er!ecution of orthodo/ ,u!!ian! in 5hite ,u!!ia and =ithuania. "i-kevic3 a %ank#3 dark<!kinned o#3 turned green and !tood with hi! teeth !et3 without uttering a word. 95e%%3 wh# don>t #ou !0eakE? =#u i'ov encouraged hi'3 with an e/0re!!ion of !adi!tic 0%ea!ure. One of the o#! ur!t out& 9"i-kevic i! a Po%e and a *atho%ic.? Feigning !ur0ri!e3 =#u i'ov draw%ed& 9I! that !oE 5e don>t differentiate etween nationa%itie! here.? It hurt 'e Cuite a! 'uch to !ee the concea%ed cad in =#u i'ov>! attitude toward Po%e!3 a! to !ee the !0itefu% ca0tiou!ne!! of )urnande with 4er'an!3 or the ,u!!ian 0rie!t>! nodding of hi! head at the !ight of 7ew!. +hi! nationa% ineCua%it# 0ro a %# wa! one of the under%#ing cau!e! of '# di!!ati!faction with the e/i!ting order3 ut it wa! %o!t a'ong a%% the other 0ha!e! of !ocia% in@u!tice. It never 0%a#ed a %eading 0art not even a recogni-ed one in the %i!t! of '# grievance!. +he fee%ing of the !u0re'ac# of genera% over 0articu%ar3 of %aw over fact3 of theor# over 0er!ona% e/0erience3 took root in '# 'ind at an ear%# age and gained increa!ing !trength a! the #ear! advanced. It wa! the town that 0%a#ed the 'a@or rF%e in !ha0ing thi! fee%ing3 a fee%ing which %ater eca'e the a!i! for a 0hi%o!o0hic out%ook on %ife. 5hen I heard o#! who were !tud#ing 0h#!ic! and natura% hi!tor# re0eat the !u0er!titiou! notion! a out 9un%uck#? "onda#3 or a out 'eeting a 0rie!t cro!!ing the road3 I wa! utter%# indignant. I fe%t that '# inte%%igence had een

in!u%ted3 and I wa! on the verge of doing an# 'ad thing to 'ake the' a andon their !ha'e%e!! !u0er!tition!. 5hi%e the Yanovka 0eo0%e were !0ending 'an# wear# hour! tr#ing to 'ea!ure the area of a fie%d which had the !ha0e of a tra0e-oid3 I wou%d a00%# Euc%id and get '# an!wer in a cou0%e of 'inute!. )ut '# co'0utation did not ta%%# with the one o tained # 90ractica%? 'ethod!3 and the# refu!ed to e%ieve it. I wou%d ring out '# geo'etr# te/t< ook and !wear in the na'e of !cienceD I wou%d get a%% e/cited and u!e har!h word! and a%% to no 0ur0o!e. Peo0%e refu!ed to !ee the %ight of rea!on3 and thi! drove 'e to de!0air. I engaged in a frantic argu'ent with our vi%%age 'echanic3 Ivan (a!i%#evich3 who 0er!i!ted in hi! e%ief that he cou%d ui%d a 0er0etua%<'otion 'achine. +he %aw of the con!ervation of energ# !ee'ed to hi' 'ere%# a fancifu% idea which had nothing to do with hi! 0ro %e'. 9+hat i! a%% ook3 and thi! i! 0ractice3? he wou%d !a#. "# 'ind refu!ed to under!tand or reconci%e it!e%f to the fact that 'en cou%d re@ect incontroverti %e truth! in order to acce0t error! and a !urd fancie!. =ater3 the fee%ing of the !u0re'ac# of the genera% over the 0articu%ar eca'e an integra% 0art of '# %iterar# and 0o%itica% work. +he du%% e'0irici!'3 the una!ha'ed3 cringing wor!hi0 of the fact which i! !o often on%# i'aginar#3 and fa%!e%# inter0reted at that3 were odiou! to 'e. )e#ond the fact!3 I %ooked for %aw!. Natura%%#3 thi! %ed 'e 'ore than once into ha!t# and incorrect genera%i-ation!3 e!0ecia%%# in '# #ounger #ear! when '# know%edge3 ook<acCuired3 and '# e/0erience in %ife were !ti%% inadeCuate. )ut in ever# !0here3 arring none3 I fe%t that I cou%d 'ove and act on%# when I he%d in '# hand the thread of the genera%. +he !ocia%<revo%utionar# radica%i!' which ha! eco'e the 0er'anent 0ivot for '# who%e inner %ife grew out of thi! inte%%ectua% en'it# toward the !triving for 0ett# end!3 toward out<and<out 0rag'ati!'3 and toward a%% that i! ideo%ogica%%# without for' and theoretica%%# ungenera%i-ed. I wi%% tr# to %ook ack3 in retro!0ect3 at '#!e%f. +he o# no dou t wa! a' itiou!3 Cuick<te'0ered3 and 0ro a %# a hard 0er!on to get a%ong with. I do not think that he had a fee%ing of !u0eriorit# over hi! !choo%'ate! when he entered the !choo%. Of cour!e in the countr# the# !howed hi' off 0roud%# to the gue!t!D ut then there wa! no one e%!e to co'0are hi' with3 and the town o#! who ca'e to Yanovka a%wa#! had the !u0erior advantage of eing 9g#'na!i!t!?D the# were o%der3 a! we%%3 !o that the# cou%d e !een on%# fro' e%ow. +he !choo%3 however3 i! a 0%ace where riva%r# i! itter. Fro' the 'o'ent that he found hi'!e%f at the to0 of hi! grade3 and Cuite a di!tance e #ond the o# ne/t ehind hi'3 the %itt%e vi!itor fro' Yanovka fe%t that he cou%d do etter than the other!. +he o#! who eca'e hi! friend! acknow%edged hi! %eader!hi0. +hi! cou%d not fai% to have !o'e effect on hi! character. +he 'a!ter! a%!o a00roved of hi'3 and !o'e3 %ike Kri-hanov!k#3 even !ing%ed hi' out for !0ecia% attention. On the who%e3 however3 the 'a!ter! treated hi' we%% ut without an# !0ecia% intere!t. +he o#! were divided& there were good friend! a'ong the'3 there were a%!o ene'ie!. +he o# wa! not %acking in !e%f<critici!'. In thi! he wa! inc%ined to e a %itt%e too ca0tiou!. Ae wa! di!!ati!fied with hi! inte%%ectua% eCui0'ent and with !o'e of hi! 0ecu%iaritie! of character.

5ith ti'e thi! eca'e even 'ore aggravated. Fierce%#3 he wou%d catch hi'!e%f in the act of te%%ing a %ieD or he wou%d taunt hi'!e%f ecau!e he had not read a%% the ook! that the other! 'entioned !o ca!ua%%#. It i! o viou! that thi! wa! ver# c%o!e to vanit#. +he thought that he 'u!t eco'e etter and 'ore inte%%igent than the re!t and acCuire a wide know%edge of ook!3 weighed con!tant%# on hi! 'ind. Ae thought a out the 0ur0o!e of "an3 and of hi! own 0ur0o!e. One evening3 "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich3 0a!!ing #3 !to00ed and a!ked 'e3 with feigned !o%e'nit#& 95hat do #ou think of %ife3 o%d 'anE? Ae often re!orted to thi! 'ock rhetorica% 'anner that wa! oth 0o'0ou! and ironic. )ut thi! ti'e3 I fe%t a! if I were touched to the Cuick. Ye!3 I wa! indeed thinking of %ife3 on%# I did not know enough to a00%# thi! na'e to '# o#i!h fear! for the future. "# 'entor 'u!t have overheard '# thought!. 9I !ee' to have touched the !ore !0ot3? he !aid3 changing hi! tone. +hen he !%a00ed 'e gent%# on the !hou%der3 and went to hi! roo'. 8id the $ch0ent-er fa'i%# have an# 0o%itica% view!E +ho!e of "oi!!e# Fi%i00ovich were 'oderate%# %i era%3 in a hu'anitarian wa#. +he# were %ight%# touched # vague !ocia%i!t !#'0athie!3 tinged with Po0u%i!t and +o%!to#an idea!. Po%itica% !u @ect! were never o0en%# di!cu!!ed3 e!0ecia%%# in '# 0re!enceD 0ro a %# that wa! ecau!e the# were afraid that I 'ight !a# !o'ething cen!ura %e at !choo%3 and get '#!e%f in trou %e. 1nd when ca!ua% reference to what wa! going on or had taken 0%ace within the revo%utionar# 'ove'ent wa! 'ade in the grown<u0!> conver!ation3 !uch a!3 for e/a'0%e3 9+hi! wa! in the #ear of the a!!a!!ination of *-ar 1%e/ander II3? it had the ring of a 0a!t a! far re'oved a! if the# had !aid3 9+hi! wa! in the #ear *o%u' u! di!covered 1'erica.? +he 0eo0%e who !urrounded 'e were out!ide of 0o%itic!. 8uring '# !choo% #ear! I he%d no 0o%itica% view!3 nor for that 'atter had I an# de!ire to acCuire the'. 1t the !a'e ti'e '# !u con!ciou! !triving! were tinged # a !0irit of o00o!ition. I had an inten!e hatred of the e/i!ting order3 of in@u!tice3 of t#rann#. 5hence did it co'eE It ca'e fro' the condition! e/i!ting during the reign of 1%e/ander IIID the high<handedne!! of the 0o%iceD the e/0%oitation 0racti!ed # %and%ord!D the grafting # officia%!D the nationa%i!tic re!triction!D the ca!e! of in@u!tice at !choo% and in the !treetD the c%o!e contact with chi%dren3 !ervant! and %a orer! in the countr#D the conver!ation! in the work!ho0D the hu'ane !0irit in the $ch0ent-er fa'i%#D the reading of Nekra!!ov>! 0oe'! and of a%% kind! of other ook!3 and3 in genera%3 the entire !ocia% at'o!0here of the ti'e. +hi! o00o!itiona% 'ood wa! revea%ed to 'e cutting%# in '# contact with two c%a!!'ate!3 ,od-evich and Ko%ogrivov. (%adi'ir ,od-evich wa! the !on of a co%one%3 and wa! for a ti'e the !econd highe!t in our grade. Ae 0er!uaded hi! 0arent! to a%%ow hi' to invite 'e to their hou!e on a $unda#. I wa! received with a certain dr#ne!!3 ut courteou!%#. +he co%one% and hi! wife !0oke to 'e ver# %itt%e and a! if the# were !crutini-ing 'e. 8uring the three or four hour! which I !0ent with the fa'i%# I !tu' %ed !evera% ti'e! u0on !o'ething that wa! !trange and di!concerting to 'e3 and even ini'ica%D it ha00ened when the conver!ation ca!ua%%# touched on the !u @ect of re%igion and the authoritie!. +here wa! a tone of con!ervative 0iet# a out that hou!e that I fe%t %ike a %ow on the che!t. (%adi'ir>! 0arent! did not %et hi' vi!it 'e in '# ho'e3 and the %ink etween u! wa! roken. 1fter the fir!t revo%ution in Ode!!a3 the na'e of ,od-evich3 a 'e' er of the )%ack< Aundred3 0ro a %# one of the 'e' er! of thi! fa'i%#3 wa! fair%# we%% known.

+he ca!e of Ko%ogrivov wa! even 'ore 0oignant. Ae entered the !choo% in the !econd grade3 after *hri!t'a!3 and wa! con!0icuou! a'ong the o#! a! a ta%% and awkward !tranger. Ae wa! gifted with incredi %e indu!tr#D he %earned thing! # heart3 an#thing and ever#thing3 whenever he cou%d. )# the end of the fir!t 'onth hi! 'ind wa! co'0%ete%# grogg# fro' ince!!ant 'e'ori-ing. 5hen he wa! ca%%ed on # the geogra0h# teacher to recite the 'a0 %e!!on3 without even waiting for the Cue!tion he !tarted right in& 97e!u! *hri!t %eft hi! co''and to the wor%d ...? It i! nece!!ar# on%# to 'ention that the fo%%owing hour wa! to e a %e!!on in re%igion. In conver!ation with thi! Ko%ogrivov3 who treated 'e3 a! the fir!t in the grade3 not without re!0ect3 I 'ade !o'e critica% re'ark! a out the 0rinci0a% and !o'e od# e%!e. 9Aow can #ou !0eak of the 0rinci0a% in thi! wa#E? a!ked Ko%ogrivov3 !incere%# indignant. 91nd wh# notE? I an!wered3 with a !ur0ri!e that wa! even 'ore !incere. 9)ut he i! our chief. If the chief order! #ou to wa%k on #our head3 it i! #our dut# to do a! #ou are to%d3 and not critici!e hi'.? Ae !aid it in @u!t that wa#. I wa! a!toni!hed # thi! e/0re!!ion of a for'u%a. It did not occur to 'e then that the o# wa! o viou!%# re0eating what he 'u!t have heard in hi! feuda% ho'e. 1nd a%though I had no view! of '# own3 I fe%t that it wou%d e a! i'0o!!i %e for 'e to acce0t certain view! a! to eat wor'# food. 1%ong with the !u00re!!ed ho!ti%it# to the 0o%itica% order in ,u!!ia3 I egan to create3 in '# i'agination3 an idea%i-ed 0icture of the foreign wor%d B of 5e!tern Euro0e and 1'erica. Fro' !cattered re'ark! and de!cri0tion!3 I egan to vi!ua%i-e a cu%ture which wa! high in it!e%f and inc%uded ever# od# with out e/ce0tion. =ater thi! eca'e 0art and 0arce% of '# conce0tion of idea% de'ocrac#. ,ationa%i!' i'0%ied that if an# thing wa! acce0ted a! theor#3 it wa! of cour!e carried out in 0ractice. For thi! rea!on it !ee'ed incredi %e that 0eo0%e in Euro0e cou%d have !u0er!tition!3 that the church cou%d e/erci!e a great inf%uence there3 that in 1'erica the white! cou%d 0er!ecute the negroe!. +hi! idea%i-ed 0icture of the 5e!tern wor%d3 i'0erce0ti %# a !or ed fro' '# environ'ent of %i era% !'ug citi-en!hi03 0er!i!ted %ater on when I wa! a%read# for'u%ating revo%utionar# view!. I !hou%d 0ro a %# have een great%# !ur0ri!ed in tho!e #ear! if I had heard if it had een 0o!!i %e to hear it that the 4er'an ,e0u %ic which i! crowned with a $ocia%<8e'ocratic govern'ent ad'it! 'onarchi!t! within it! order! ut refu!e! the right of a!#%u' to revo%utionarie!. Fortunate%#3 !ince that ti'e 'an# thing! have cea!ed to !ur0ri!e 'e. =ife ha! eaten rationa%i!' out of 'e and ha! taught 'e the working! of dia%ectic!. Even Aer'ann "U%%er can no %onger !ur0ri!e 'e.

'otes
1. In ,u!!ian 9!0irit3? 9!ou%3? and 9 reath? re!0ective%# 9du$h3? 9dusha3? and 9dy$haniya? derive fro' the !a'e root. B Translator

Leon Trotsky

My Life

%3APT(! V0

T3( 8!(A5
+he 0o%itica% deve%o0'ent of ,u!!ia3 eginning with the 'idd%e of the %a!t centur#3 i! 'ea!ured # decade!. +he !i/tie! after the *ri'ean 5ar were an e0och of en%ighten'ent3 our !hort %ived eighteenth centur#. 8uring the fo%%owing decade the inte%%igent!ia were a%read# endeavoring to draw 0ractica% conc%u!ion! fro' the theorie! of en%ighten'ent. +he decade egan with the 'ove'ent of going down to the 0eo0%e with revo%utionar# 0ro0agandaD it ended with terrori!'. +he !eventie! 0a!!ed into hi!tor# 'ain%# a! the #ear! of 9+he Peo0%e>! 5i%%.? +he e!t e%e'ent! of that generation went u0 in the %a-e of the d#na'ite warfare. +he ene'# had he%d it! 0o!ition!. +hen fo%%owed a decade of dec%ine3 of di!enchant'ent and 0e!!i'i!'3 of re%igiou! and 'ora% !earching! the eightie!. Hnder the vei% of reaction3 however3 the force! of ca0ita%i!' were %ind%# at work. +he ninetie! rought with the' worker!> !trike! and "ar/i!t idea!. +he new tide reached it! cu%'ination in the fir!t decade of the new centur# in the #ear 1925. +he eightie! 0a!!ed earing the 'ark of the $u0re'e Procurator of the "o!t Ao%# $#nod3 Po edono!t-ev3 the c%a!!ica% u0ho%der of autocratic 0ower and univer!a% i''uta i%it#. +he %i era%! regarded hi' a! the 0ure t#0e of the ureaucrat who did not know %ife. )ut thi! wa! not true. Po edono!t-ev eva%uated the contradiction! hidden in the de0th! of the nationa% %ife far 'ore !o er%# and !eriou!%# than did the %i era%!. Ae under!tood that once the !crew! were %oo!ened3 the 0re!!ure fro' e%ow wou%d tear off the !ocia% roof in it! entiret# and a%% that not on%# Po edono!t-ev ut the %i era%! a! we%% regarded a! the 0i%%ar! of cu%ture and ethic! wou%d di!!o%ve into du!t. In hi! own wa#3 Po edono!t-ev !aw 'ore 0rofound%# than the %i era%!. It wa! not hi! fau%t that the 0roce!!e! of hi!tor# 0roved 'ightier than the )#-antine !#!te' which he3 the in!0irer of 1%e/ander III and Nicho%a! II3 had defended with !uch force. In the dead eightie!3 when the %i era%! thought that ever# thing had eco'e %ife%e!!3 Po edono!t-ev !ti%% fe%t eneath hi! feet a ground<!we%% !u terranean ru' %ing!. Ae wa! not ca%' even in the ca%'e!t #ear! of the reign of 1%e/ander III. 9It ha! een and !ti%% i! hard3 and it i! itter to confe!! that it wi%% continue !o3? he wrote to one of hi! tru!ted 'en. 9+he urden u0on '# !ou% doe! not vani!h3 for I !ee and fee% ever# hour the te'0er of the ti'e a'id what ha! co'e over the 0eo0%e ... *o'0aring the 0re!ent with the di!tant 0a!t we fee% that we are %iving in !o'e !trange wor%d where e(erything is going bac$ward to pri#e(al chaos and we fee% our!e%ve! he%0 %e!! in the 'id!t of a%% thi! fer'ent.? Po edono!t-ev %ived to !ee the #ear 19253 when the !u terranean force! that had !o great%# terrified hi' roke out3 and the fir!t dee0 crack! a0 0eared in the foundation and wa%%! of the entire o%d !tructure. +he #ear 1G913 'e'ora %e for the cro0 fai%ure and the fa'ine3 'ark! the officia% date of the 0o%itica% reaking<0oint in the countr#. +he new decade centred around the %a or Cue!tion. 1nd not in ,u!!ia a%one. In 1G91 the 4er'an $ocia%<8e'ocratic Part# ado0ted it! Erfurt 0rogra''e. Po0e =eo .III i!!ued hi! enc#c%ica% dea%ing with the condition of the working 'an. 5i%he%' wa! o !e!!ed # !ocia% idea! which con!i!ted of a 'i/ture of in!ane ignorance and ureaucratic ro'antici!'. +he rapproche#ent etween the *-ar and France guaranteed the inf%ow of ca0ita%

fund! into ,u!!ia. +he a00oint'ent of 5itte to the 0o!t of "ini!ter of Finance u!hered in an era of indu!tria% 0rotectioni!'. +he !tor'# deve%o0'ent of ca0ita%i!' red that ver# 9te'0er of the ti'e? which had tor'ented Po edono!t-ev with unea!# fore oding!. +he 0o%itica% !hift in the direction of action cro00ed u0 fir!t of a%% in the 'id!t of the inte%%igent!ia. "ore and 'ore freCuent%# and deci!ive%# did the #oung "ar/i!t! re!ort to action. 1t the !a'e ti'e the dor'ant 0o0u%i!t 'ove'ent egan to !how !ign! of awakening. In 1G93 the fir!t %ega%%# 0rinted "ar/i!t work3 written # $truve3 'ade it! a00earance. I wa! then in '# fourteenth #ear3 and !ti%% ver# re'ote fro' the!e 'atter!. In 1G9T 1%e/ander III died. 1! wa! u!ua% on !uch occa!ion!3 the %i era% ho0e! !ought !u00ort fro' the heir to the throne. Ae re0%ied with a kick. 1t the audience granted to the 6e'!tvo %eader!3 the #oung *-ar de!cri ed their a!0iration! for a con!titution a! 9non!en!ica% drea'!.? +hi! !0eech wa! 0u %i!hed in the 0re!!. +he word<of<'outh re0ort wa! that the 0a0er fro' which the *-ar had read hi! !0eech !aid 9ground%e!! drea'!3? ut in hi! agitation the *-ar had e/0re!!ed hi'!e%f 'ore har!h%# than he intended. I wa! fifteen at the ti'e. I wa! unre!erved%# on the !ide of the non!en!ica% drea'!3 and not on that of the *-ar. (ague%# I e%ieved in a gradua% deve%o0'ent which wou%d ring ackward ,u!!ia nearer to advanced Euro0e. )e#ond that '# 0o%itica% idea! did not go. *o''ercia%3 'u%ti<racia%3 %oud%# co%ored and noi!# Ode!!a re'ained3 to an e/traordinar# degree3 far ehind other centre! in a 0o%itica% !en!e. In $t. Peter! urg3 in "o!cow3 in Kiev3 there were a%read# in e/i!tence at that ti'e nu'erou! !ocia%i!t circ%e! in the educationa% in!titution!. Ode!!a had none. In 1G95 Friedrich Enge%! died. $ecret re0ort! were read at 'eeting! he%d in hi! 'e'or# # !tudent grou0! in the variou! citie! of ,u!!ia. I wa! then in '# !i/teenth #ear. )ut I did not know even the na'e of Enge%!3 and cou%d hard%# !a# an#thing definite a out "ar/. 1! a 'atter of fact3 I 0ro a %# had never heard of hi'. "# 0o%itica% fra'e of 'ind whi%e at !choo% wa! vague%# o00o!itioni!t3 ut no 'ore than that. In '# da#3 revo%utionar# Cue!tion! were !ti%% unknown a'ong the !tudent!. It wa! whi!0ered that certain grou0! 'et at the 0rivate g#'na!iu' 'aintained # the *-ech3 NovakD that there had een arre!t!D that Novak3 who wa! our in!tructor in ath%etic!3 had een di!'i!!ed and re0%aced # an ar'# officer. In the environ'ent !urrounding the ho'e of the $ch0ent-er! there wa! di!!ati!faction3 ut the regi'e wa! he%d to e un!haka %e. +he o%de!t drea'ed of a con!titution a! 0o!!i %e on%# after !evera% decade!. 1! for Yanovka3 the !u @ect wa! un'entiona %e there. 5hen I returned to the vi%%age after '# graduation fro' !choo%3 ringing with 'e di' de'ocratic idea!3 Father3 i''ediate%# a%ert3 re'arked with ho!ti%it#& 9+hi! wi%% not co'e to 0a!! even in three hundred #ear!.? Ae wa! convinced of the futi%it# of a%% refor'i!t!> effort! and wa! a00rehen!ive for hi! !on. In 19I13 when he ca'e to 'e in the Kre'%in3 after having e!ca0ed the ,ed and 5hite 0eri%! with hi! %ife3 I @e!ting%# a!ked& 98o #ou re'e' er what #ou u!ed to !a# that the *-ari!t order wa! good for another three hundred #ear!E? +he o%d 'an !'i%ed !%#%# and re0%ied in Hkrainian& 9+hi! ti'e3 %et #our truth 0revai%.? In the ear%# ninetie!3 the +o%!to#an tendencie! egan to die down a'ong the inte%%igent!ia. "ar/i!' wa! victoriou!%# 'arching u0on the 0o0u%i!t 'ove'ent. Pu %ication! of a%% kind! were fi%%ed with the echoe! of thi! ideo%ogica% !trugg%e. Ever#where there were reference! to the !e%f<

confident #oung 0eo0%e who ca%%ed the'!e%ve! 'ateria%i!t!. I encountered a%% thi! for the fir!t ti'e in 1G9Q. +he Cue!tion of 0er!ona% 'ora%!3 !o inti'ate%# connected with the 0a!!ive ideo%og# of the eightie!3 touched 'e in a 0eriod when 9!e%f<0erfection? wa! to 'e not !o 'uch a 'atter of theor# a! an organic de'and of '# !0iritua% growth. +he 0ro %e' of 9!e%f<0erfection3? however3 Cuick%# eca'e ound u0 with the Cue!tion of '# out%ook on the wor%d in genera%3 which %ed3 in turn3 to the funda'enta% di%e''a& 0o0u%i!' or "ar/i!'E +he conf%ict of the!e trend! engro!!ed 'e3 ut !evera% #ear! %ater than the genera% reak in the inte%%ectua% conce0t! of the countr#. )# the ti'e I wa! a00roaching the a%0ha et of econo'ic !cience!3 and wa! rai!ing the Cue!tion in '# 'ind a! to whether ,u!!ia 'u!t go through the !tage of ca0ita%i!'3 the "ar/i!t! of the o%der generation had a%read# !ucceeded in finding a 0ath to the working 'an and in eco'ing $ocia% 8e'ocrat!. I faced the fir!t cro!!road! on '# 0ath3 0oor%# eCui00ed 0o%itica%%# even for a !eventeen<#ear<o%d o# of that 0eriod. +oo 'an# Cue!tion! confronted 'e a%% at once3 without the nece!!ar# !eCuence and order. ,e!t%e!!%# I ca!t a out 'e. One thing i! certain& even then %ife had !tored within '# con!ciou!ne!! a con!idera %e %oad of !ocia% 0rote!t. 5hat did it con!i!t ofE $#'0ath# for the down<trodden and indignation over in@u!tice the %atter wa! 0erha0! the !tronger fee%ing. )eginning with '# ear%ie!t chi%dhood3 in a%% the i'0re!!ion! of '# dai%# %ife hu'an ineCua%it# !tood out in e/ce0tiona%%# coar!e and !tark for'!. In@u!tice often a!!u'ed the character of i'0udent %icen!eD hu'an dignit# wa! under hee% at ever# !te0. It i! enough for 'e to reca%% the f%ogging of 0ea!ant!. Even efore I had an# theorie!3 a%% the!e thing! i'0rinted the'!e%ve! dee0%# on 'e and 0i%ed u0 a !tore of i'0re!!ion! of great e/0%o!ive force. It wa! 0erha0! ecau!e of thi! that I !ee'ed to he!itate for a whi%e efore reaching the great conc%u!ion! which I wa! i'0e%%ed to draw fro' the o !ervation! of the fir!t 0eriod of '# %ife. +here wa! a%!o another !ide to '# deve%o0'ent. 5hen one generation !ucceed! another3 the dead c%ing to the %iving. +hi! wa! the ca!e with the generation of ,u!!ian revo%utioni!t! who!e ear%# #outh deve%o0ed under the weight of the at'o!0here of the eightie!. In !0ite of the %arge 0er!0ective! he%d out # the new doctrine!3 the "ar/i!t! in rea%it# re'ained i'0ri!oned # the con!ervative 'ood of the eightie!3 di!0%a#ing an ina i%it# to take o%d initiative!3 re'aining inactive when confronted # o !tac%e!3 !hoving the revo%ution into the indefinite future3 and inc%ining genera%%# to regard !ocia%i!' a! a ta!k for centurie! of evo%ution. In !uch a ho'e a! the $ch0ent-er!>3 0o%itica% critici!' wou%d have een voiced far 'ore %oud%# !evera% #ear! efore '# ti'e or !evera% #ear! %ater. +o '# %ot fe%% the 'o!t !tagnant #ear!. One heard a%'o!t no conver!ation on 0o%itica% to0ic!. )ig Cue!tion! were evaded. It wa! the !a'e at !choo%. Hndou ted%# I i' i ed a great dea% of the at'o!0here of the >G2!. 1nd even afterward3 when '# revo%utionar# idea! were a%read# taking !ha0e3 I wou%d catch '#!e%f in an attitude of 'i!tru!t of action # the 'a!!e!3 taking a ooki!h3 a !tract and therefore !ce0tica% view of the revo%ution. I had to co' at a%% thi! within '#!e%f3 # '# thinking3 '# reading3 ut 'ain%# # 'ean! of e/0erience3 unti% the e%e'ent! of 0!#chic inertia had een conCuered within 'e. +here i! no evi% without good. Perha0! the fact that I had con!ciou!%# to overco'e within 'e the rever eration! of the eightie! ena %ed 'e to a00roach funda'enta% 0ro %e'! of 'a!! action in a

'ore !eriou!3 concrete and 0rofound 'anner. On%# that i! %a!ting which i! gained through co' at. 1%% thi!3 how ever3 i! re%ated to cha0ter! of '# !tor# which are !ti%% far ahead. I attended the !eventh grade not in Ode!!a ut in Niko%a#ev. It wa! a 0rovincia% town and the %eve% of the !choo% wa! %ower there. )ut '# #ear at Niko%a#ev in 1G9Q wa! the turning 0oint of '# #outh3 for it rai!ed within 'e the Cue!tion of '# 0%ace in hu'an !ociet#. I %ived in a ho'e where the chi%dren were 'ore grown u03 and a%read# !o'ewhat in the gri0 of the newer 'ove'ent!. It i! re'arka %e that at fir!t in conver!ation! I wa! the !tu orne!t o00onent of 9!ocia%i!t uto0ia!.? I 0%a#ed the 0art of the !ke0tic who had 0a!!ed e#ond a%% that. "# reaction to 0o%itica% Cue!tion! wa! a%wa#! one of ironic !u0eriorit#. +he %and%ad# in who!e ho'e I %odged regarded 'e with a'a-e'ent and even cited 'e a! a 'ode% a%though not a%wa#! Cuite confident%# to her own chi%dren3 who were a %itt%e o%der than I and who!e tendencie! were toward the =eft. )ut it wa! 'ere%# an uneCua% !trugg%e on '# 0art for inde0endent @udg'ent. I endeavored to e!ca0e the 0er!ona% inf%uence of !uch #oung !ocia%i!t! a! I wou%d encounter. +hi! %o!ing att%e %a!ted a%together a few 'onth!. +he idea! fi%%ing the air 0roved !tronger than I3 e!0ecia%%# !ince in the de0th! of '# !ou% I wi!hed for nothing etter than to #ie%d to the'. "# conduct underwent a radica% change after !evera% 'onth! in Niko%a#ev. I re0udiated '# a!!u'0tion of con!ervati!' and !wung =eftward with !uch !0eed that it even frightened awa# !o'e of '# new friend!. 9Aow did it ha00enE? '# %and%ad# wou%d re'ark. 91nd it wa! a%% for nothing that I he%d #ou u0 to '# chi%dren a! a 'ode%J? I neg%ected '# !tudie!. +he !tore of know%edge which I had rought fro' Ode!!a ena %ed 'e3 however3 to retain !o'e how '# officia% %ead a! a !tar !tudent. "ore and 'ore freCuent%# I 0%a#ed truant. Once the in!0ector ca%%ed on 'e at ho'e to a!certain the cau!e of '# non< attendance. I fe%t hu'i%iated e#ond word!. )ut the in!0ector wa! courteou!. Ae !ati!fied hi'!e%f that the ho'e in which I %ived and '# own roo' were order%#3 and %eft 0eacea %#. Hnder '# 'attre!! were !evera% i%%ega% 0o%itica% 0a'0h%et!. In Niko%a#ev I 'et3 in addition to the #oung 0eo0%e who were drawn toward "ar/i!'3 !evera% for'er e/i%e! who were under 0o%ice !urvei%%ance. +he!e were !econdar# figure! of the 0eriod of the dec%ine of the 0o0u%i!t 'ove'ent. 1t that ti'e $ocia% 8e'ocrat! were not #et returning fro' e/i%e3 the# were going into it. +he two cro!!<'ove'ent! gave ri!e to whir% 0oo%! of theor#. For a ti'e I too wa! drawn into the'. +here wa! an odor of 0utrefaction e'anating fro' 0o0u%i!'. "ar/i!' re0e%%ed # it! !o<ca%%ed 9narrowne!!.? )urning with i'0atience I tried to gra!0 the idea! in!tinctive%#3 ut the# were not !o ea!# to 'a!ter. I found no one a out 'e to offer !ure guidance. Ever# new conver!ation3 'oreover3 forced 'e to co'e to the itter3 0ainfu% and de!0erate conc%u!ion that I wa! ignorant. I eca'e inti'ate%# acCuainted with the gardener3 $hvigov!k#3 who wa! a *-ech # origin. Ae wa! the fir!t working<'an I had known who !u !cri ed to new!0a0er!3 read 4er'an3 knew the c%a!!ic!3 and 0artici0ated free%# in the argu'ent! etween the "ar/i!t! and the 0o0u%i!t!. Ai! one<roo' ca in in the garden wa! the 'eeting<0%ace for vi!iting !tudent!3 for'er e/i%e! and the %oca% #outh!. One cou%d o tain a for idden ook through $hvigov!k#. +he conver!ation! of the e/i%e! were 0unctuated with the na'e! of the 0o0u%i!t!3 6he%#a ov3 Perov!ka#a3 Figner3 who were treated not a! %egendar# heroe! ut a! rea% 0eo0%e with who' the o%der friend! of the!e

e/i%e! if not the# the'!e%ve! were fa'i%iar. I had a fee%ing that I wa! @oining a great chain a! a tin# %ink. I !wa%%owed ook!3 fearfu% that '# entire %ife wou%d not e %ong enough to 0re0are 'e for action. "# reading wa! nervou!3 i'0atient and un!#!te'atic. 1fter wading through the i%%ega% 0a'0h%et! of the 0receding 0eriod3 I 0a!!ed on to Lo#i+ of 7ohn $tuart "i%%3 then took u0 =i00ert>! Pri1iti e %"lt"re without co'0%eting Lo#i+. +he uti%itariani!' of )entha' !ee'ed to 'e the %a!t word in hu'an thought. For !evera% 'onth! I wa! a !tanch )entha'i!t. In the !a'e 'anner I wa! carried awa# # the rea%i!tic a!thetic! of *hern#!hev!k#. 5ithout having fini!hed =i00ert3 I threw '#!e%f u0on the hi!tor# of the French ,evo%ution # "ignet. Each ook %ived !e0arate%# for 'e3 with no 0%ace in a unified !#!te'. "# !triving for a !#!te' eca'e ten!e3 !o'eti'e! !avage. 1t the !a'e ti'e3 I wou%d e re0e%%ed # "ar/i!' 0art%# ecau!e it !ee'ed a co'0%eted !#!te'. I egan to read new!0a0er!3 not a! I had read the' in Ode!!a3 ut with a 0o%itica% 'ind. +he 'o!t authoritative dai%# at the ti'e wa! the %i era% !"sskiya Vedo1osti of "o!cow. 5e !tudied rather than read it3 eginning with the i'0otent3 0rofe!!oria% editoria%! and ending with the !cientific artic%e!. +he foreign corre!0ondence3 e!0ecia%%# fro' )er%in3 wa! the 0ride of the new!0a0er. It wa! fro' the !"sskiya Vedo1osti that I fir!t for'ed a 0icture of the 0o%itica% %ife of we!tern Euro0e3 e!0ecia%%# of the 0ar%ia'entar# 0artie!. It i! difficu%t to<da# to reca%% the agitation with which we fo%%owed the !0eeche! of )e e% and even tho!e of Eugene ,ichter. 1nd to thi! da# I re'e' er the 0hra!e which 8a!hin!k# f%ung in the face of the 0o%ice when the# entered the hou!e of 0ar%ia'ent& 9I re0re!ent thirt# thou!and worker! and 0ea!ant! of 4a%icia who wi%% dare touch 'eE? 5e 0ictured the 4a%ician revo%utioni!t a! a titanic figure. +he theatrica% !tage of 0ar%ia'entari!'3 a%a!J crue%%# deceived u!. +he !ucce!!e! of 4er'an !ocia%i!'3 the 0re!identia% e%ection! in the Hnited $tate!3 the free<for<a%%! in the 1u!trian ,eich!rat3 the intrigue! of the French ro#a%i!t!3 a%% of thi! a !or ed u! far 'ore than the 0er!ona% fate of an# one of u!. "eanwhi%e '# re%ation! with '# fa'i%# were growing wor!e. On one of hi! tri0! to Niko%a#ev to 'arket grain3 '# father !o'ehow %earned of '# new acCuaintance!. Ae !en!ed the a00roach of danger3 ut ho0ed to 0revent it # the 0ower of hi! 0arenta% authorit#. 5e had !evera% !tor'# !cene!. I unco'0ro'i!ing%# defended '# inde0endence3 '# right to fo%%ow '# own 0ath. It ended with '# refu!ing to acce0t 'ateria% aid fro' ho'e. I %eft '# %odging! and went to %ive with $hvigov!k#3 who wa! now %ea!ing another garden with a 'ore !0aciou! cottage. Aere !i/ of u! %ed a co''una% %ife. 8uring the !u''er one or two tu ercu%ar !tudent! !eeking fre!h air @oined u!. I egan to give 0rivate %e!!on!. 5e %ed a !0artan e/i!tence3 without ed<%inen3 and got a%ong on !tew! which we 0re0ared our!e%ve!. 5e wore %ue !'ock!3 round !traw hat! and %ack cane!. In town it wa! ru'ored that we had @oined a !ecret organi-ation. 5e read without 'ethod3 we argued without re!traint3 we 0eered into the future 0a!!ionate%#3 and were ha00# in our own wa#. 1fter a whi%e we organi-ed a !ociet# for the di!tri ution of u!efu% ook! a'ong the 0eo0%e. 5e co%%ected due! and ought chea0 edition!3 ut were una %e to di!!e'inate the'. In $hvigov!k#>! garden there worked a hired %a orer and an a00rentice. 5e focu!ed u0on the'3 fir!t of a%%3 our effort! at en%ighten'ent. )ut the %a orer turned out to e a di!gui!ed gendar'e who had een

0%anted in our 'id!t e/0re!!%# to watch u!. Ai! na'e wa! Kiri%% +khor-hev!k#. Ae had a%!o 0ut the a00rentice in touch with the gendar'erie. +he %atter !to%e fro' u! a %arge 0ackage of 0o0u%ar ook! and took it to headCuarter!. +hi! eginning wa! c%ear%# inau!0iciou!3 ut we fir'%# ho0ed for !ucce!! in the future. I wrote a 0o%e'ica% artic%e for a 0o0u%i!t 0eriodica% in Ode!!a3 taking i!!ue with the fir!t "ar/i!t @ourna%. +he artic%e had 'ore e0igra0h!3 Cuotation! and veno' than it had content. I 'ai%ed the artic%e and a week %ater 'ade a tri0 to find out it! fate. +he editor3 through %arge g%a!!e!3 e#ed with !#'0ath# an author who!e head di!0%a#ed an enor'ou! 'o0 of hair ut who!e face did not !how a trace of eard. +he artic%e never !aw the %ight. No one wa! the %o!er3 %ea!t of a%% '#!e%f. 5hen the oard of director! of the 0u %ic %i rar# rai!ed the annua% fee fro' five to !i/ rou %e!3 we 0erceived an atte'0t to get awa# fro' de'ocrac#3 and !ounded an a%ar'. For !evera% week! we did nothing ut 0re0are for a genera% 'eeting of the %i rar# 'e' er!. 5e e'0tied a%% our de'ocratic 0ocket!3 co%%ecting rou %e! and ha%f<rou %e!3 and with thi! fund regi!tered 'ore radica% 'e' er!3 'an# of who' not on%# %acked the !i/ rou %e! ut a%!o were under the twent#< #ear age %i'it reCuired # the con!titution. 5e turned the %i rar# a00%ication< ook into a co%%ection of fier# %eaf%et!. 5hen the annua% 'eeting wa! ca%%ed3 two 0artie! a00eared& on the one hand3 officia%!3 teacher!3 %i era% %and%ord!3 and nava% officer!D on the other hand3 we the de'ocrac#. (ictor# wa! our! a%ong the entire front. 5e re!tored the five rou %e fee and e%ected a new oard. *a!ting a out for activitie!3 we decided to organi-e a univer!it# on a a!i! of 'utua% in!truction. +here were a out twent# !tudent!. "# de0art'ent wa! !ocio%og#. +hat wa! high<!ounding. I 0re0ared for '# cour!e with a%% '# 0ower!3 ut after two %ecture!3 which ca'e off !ati!factori%#3 I !udden%# rea%i-ed that '# re!ource! had een e/hau!ted. +he !econd %ecturer3 who!e cour!e wa! the French ,evo%ution3 eca'e confu!ed a! !oon a! he egan and 0ro'i!ed to de%iver hi! %ecture in writing. Of cour!e he fai%ed to fu%fi% hi! 0ro'i!e3 and that wa! the end of the enter0ri!e. I then decided3 with the !econd %ecturer3 the e%der of the rother! $oko%ov!k#3 to write a 0%a#. 5e even %eft the co''une te'0orari%# for that 0ur0o!e3 and hid our!e%ve! in a roo' without %eaving an# addre!!. Our 0%a# wa! fu%% of !ocia% tendencie!3 again!t a ackground of the conf%ict of generation!. 1%though the two dra'ati!t! regarded "ar/i!' with on%# ha%f<tru!t3 neverthe%e!! the 0o0u%i!t in the 0%a# wa! a fee %e character3 whi%e a%% the courage3 #outh and ho0e were with the #oung "ar/i!t!. $uch i! the 0ower of ti'e. +he ro'antic e%e'ent found e/0re!!ion in the %ove tendered # a revo%utioni!t of the o%der generation3 who had een cru!hed # %ife3 to a #oung "ar/i!t gir%3 ut !he handed it ack with a 'erci%e!! !0eech a out the fai%ure of 0o0u%i!'. +he work on the 0%a# wa! no 'ean ta!k. 1t ti'e! we wrote together3 driving and correcting each otherD at other ti'e! we divided the act! into !ection!3 and each of u! wou%d devote hi! da# to the 0re0aration of a !cene or a 'ono%ogue. 5e had3 it 'u!t e !aid3 no !hortage of 'ono%ogue!. $oko%ov!k# wou%d return fro' hi! work toward evening3 and then wou%d 0roceed free%# to revi!e the whi'0ering !0eeche! of the hero of the !eventie! who!e %ife had een cru!hed. I wou%d return fro' '# 0rivate %e!!on! or fro' $hvigov!k#>!. +he daughter of the %and%ad# wou%d 0ut u0 a !a'ovar for u!. $oko%ov!k# wou%d 0u%% out fro' hi! 0ocket! !o'e read and !au!age. $e0arated # a '#!teriou! ar'or fro' the re!t of the wor%d3 the dra'ati!t! wou%d !0end the a%ance of the

evening in inten!ive %a or. 5e co'0%eted the fir!t act3 even 0roviding the 0ro0er curtain effect. +he re'aining act!3 four in nu' er3 were drafted. +he farther we got into it3 however3 the 'ore we coo%ed. 1fter a whi%e we arrived at the conc%u!ion that we 'u!t give u0 our '#!teriou! roo' and 0o!t0one the co'0%etion of the dra'a to !o'e future date. +he ro%% of 'anu!cri0t! wa! taken # $oko%ov!k# to another %odging. =ater3 when we found our !e%ve! in the Ode!!a 0ri!on3 $oko%ov!k# 'ade an atte'0t through hi! re%ative! to %ocate the 'anu!cri0t. Perha0! the thought occurred to hi' that e/i%e wou%d e favora %e for the co'0%etion of our dra'atic o0u!. )ut the 'anu!cri0t wa! no 'ore3 having vani!hed without trace. In a%% 0ro a i%it# the 0eo0%e in who!e ho'e it had een %eft con!idered it 0rudent to throw it in the fire u0on the arre!t of it! i%%<fated author!. It i! not difficu%t for 'e to reconci%e '#!e%f to it! fate3 e!0ecia%%# !ince3 in the cour!e of '# !u !eCuent and none too !'ooth %ife3 I have %o!t 'anu!cri0t! of inco'0ara %# greater va%ue.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! V00

M4 F0!)T !(V&L6T0&'A!4 &!7A'0;AT0&'

In the autu'n of 1G9Q3 I vi!ited the countr#3 after a%%D ut the vi!it re!u%ted on%# in a rief truce. Father wanted 'e to eco'e an engineer3 wherea! I he!itated etween 0ure 'athe'atic!3 to which I wa! ver# !trong%# attracted3 and ,evo%ution3 which %itt%e # %itt%e wa! taking 0o!!e!!ion of 'e. Ever# ti'e thi! Cue!tion aro!e there wa! an acute fa'i%# cri!i!. Ever# od# %ooked de0re!!ed3 and !ee'ed to !uffer inten!e%#D '# e%der !i!ter wou%d wee0 furtive%#3 and no od# knew what to do a out it. One of '# unc%e!3 an engineer and owner of a 0%ant in Ode!!a3 who wa! !ta#ing in the countr# with u!3 0er!uaded 'e to co'e and vi!it hi' in the cit#. +hi! wa! at %ea!t a te'0orar# re%ief fro' the i#passe. I !ta#ed with '# unc%e for a few week!. 5e were con!tant%# di!cu!!ing 0rofit and !ur0%u! va%ue. "# unc%e wa! etter at acCuiring 0rofit! than e/0%aining the'. 1nd 'eanwhi%e I did nothing a out regi!tering for the cour!e in 'athe'atic! in the Hniver!it#. I !ta#ed on in Ode!!a3 !ti%% %ooking for !o'ething. 5hat wa! I tr#ing to findE 1ctua%%#3 it wa! '#!e%f. I 'ade ca!ua% acCuaintance! a'ong worker!3 o tained i%%ega% %iterature3 tutored !o'e 0rivate 0u0i%!3 gave !urre0titiou! %ecture! to the o%der o#! of the +rade $choo%3 and engaged in argu'ent! with the "ar/i!t!3 !ti%% tr#ing to ho%d fa!t to '# o%d view!. 5ith the %a!t autu'n !tea'er3 I %eft for Niko%a#ev3 and re!u'ed '# Cuarter! with $hvigov!k# in the garden. 1nd the !a'e o%d u!ine!! !tarted in again. 5e di!cu!!ed the %ate!t nu' er! of the radica% 'aga-ine! and argued a out 8arwini!'D we were vague%# 0re0aring3 and a%!o waiting. 5hat wa!

it in 0articu%ar that i'0e%%ed u! to !tart the revo%utionar# 0ro0agandaE It i! difficu%t to !a#. +he i'0u%!e originated within u!. In the inte%%ectua% circ%e! in which I 'oved3 no od# did an# actua% revo%utionar# work. 5e rea%i-ed that etween our end%e!! tea<ta %e di!cu!!ion! and revo%utionar# organi-ation there wa! a va!t gu%f. 5e knew that an# contact! with worker! de'anded !ecret3 high%# 9con!0irator#? 'ethod!. 1nd we 0ronounced the word !o%e'n%#3 with a reverence that wa! a%'o!t '#!tic. 5e had no dou t that in the end we wou%d go fro' the di!cu!!ion! at the tea< ta %e to 9conspiratia?D ut no od# wa! definite a! to how and when the change wou%d take 0%ace. In e/cu!ing our de%a#3 we u!ua%%# to%d each other that we 'u!t 0re0areD and we weren>t !o far wrong3 after a%%. )ut a00arent%# there had een !o'e change in the air which rought u! a ru0t%# onto the road of revo%utionar# 0ro0aganda. +he change did not actua%%# take 0%ace in Niko%a#ev a%one3 ut throughout the countr#3 e!0ecia%%# in the ca0ita%!. In 1G9Q3 the fa'ou! weaver!> !trike! roke out in $t. Peter! urg. +hi! 0ut new %ife into the inte%%igent!ia. +he !tudent! gained courage3 !en!ing the awakening of the heav# re!erve!. In the !u''er3 at *hri!t'a!3 and at Ea!ter3 do-en! of !tudent! ca'e down to Niko%a#ev3 ringing with the' ta%e! of the u0heava% in $t. Peter! urg3 "o!cow3 and Kiev. $o'e of the' had een e/0e%%ed fro' univer!itie! o#! @u!t out of the gy#nasiu# returning with the ha%oe! of heroe!. In Fe ruar#3 1G9;3 a wo'an !tudent3 (etrova3 urned her!e%f to death in the Peter<Pau% fortre!!. +hi! traged#3 which ha! never een fu%%# e/0%ained3 !tirred ever# one dee0%#. 8i!tur ance! took 0%ace in the univer!it# citie!D arre!t! and ani!h'ent! eca'e 'ore freCuent. I !tarted '# revo%utionar# work to the acco'0ani'ent of the (etrova de'on!tration!. It ha00ened in thi! wa#& I wa! wa%king a%ong the !treet with a #ounger 'e' er of our co''une3 4rigor# $oko%ov!k#3 a o# a out '# age. 9It>! a out ti'e we !tarted3? I !aid. 9Ye!3 it i! a out ti'e3? he an!wered. 9)ut howE? 9+hat>! it3 howE? 95e 'u!t find worker!3 not wait for an# od# or a!k an# od#3 ut @u!t find worker!3 and !et to it.? 9I think we can find the'3? !aid $oko%ov!k#. 9I u!ed to know a watch'an who worked on the ou%evard. Ae e%onged to the )i %e $ect. I think I>%% %ook hi' u0.? +he !a'e da# $oko%ov!k# went to the ou%evard to !ee the )i %i!t. Ae wa! no %onger there. )ut he found there a wo'an who had a friend who a%!o e%onged to !o'e re%igiou! !ect. +hrough thi! friend of the wo'an he didn>t know3 $oko%ov!k#3 on that ver# da#3 'ade the acCuaintance of !evera% worker!3 a'ong the' an e%ectrician3 Ivan 1ndre#evitch "ukhin3 who !oon eca'e the 'o!t 0ro'inent figure in our organi-ation. $oko%ov!k# returned fro' hi! !earch a%% on fire. 9$uch 'enJ +he# are the rea% thingJ?

Ne/t da# five or !i/ of u! were !itting in an inn. +he deafening 'u!ic of the auto'atic organ !creened our conver!ation fro' the re!t. "ukhin3 a thin 'an with a 0ointed eard and a !ort of !hrewd3 a00rehen!ive %ook3 watched 'e through a ha%f<c%o!ed %eft e#e3 a'ia %# !canning '# !ti%% eard%e!! face. In detai%3 with we%%<ca%cu%ated 0au!e!3 he e/0%ained& 9+he 4o!0e%! for 'e3 in thi! u!ine!!3 are @u!t a 0eg. I egin with re%igion3 and then !witch off to %ife. +he other da# I e/0%ained the who%e truth to the $tundi!t! with nav#< ean!.? 95hat do #ou 'ean3 nav#< ean!E? 9It>! ver# !i'0%e. I 0ut a ean on the ta %e and !a#3 >+hi! i! the *-ar.> 1round it3 I 0%ace 'ore ean!. >+he!e are 'ini!ter!3 i!ho0!3 genera%!3 and over there the gentr# and 'erchant!. 1nd in thi! other hea03 the 0%ain 0eo0%e.> Now3 I a!k3 >5here i! the *-arE> +he# 0oint to the centre. >5here are the 'ini!ter!E> +he# 0oint to tho!e around. 7u!t a! I have to%d the'3 the# an!wer. Now3 wait3? and at thi! 0oint "ukhin co'0%ete%# c%o!ed hi! %eft e#e and 0au!ed. 9+hen I !cra' %e a%% the ean! together3? he went on. 9I !a#3 >Now te%% 'e where i! the *-arE the 'ini!ter!E> 1nd the# an!wer 'e3 P5ho can te%%E You can>t !0ot the' now.> ... P7u!t what I !a#. You can>t !0ot the' now.> 1nd !o I !a#3 P1%% ean! !hou%d e !cra' %ed.>V I wa! !o thri%%ed at thi! !tor# that I wa! a%% in a !weat. +hi! wa! the rea% thing3 wherea! we had on%# een gue!!ing and waiting and !u ti%i-ing. +he 'u!ic of the auto'atic organ wa! the 9conspiratia?D "ukhin>! nav#< ean!3 de!tro#ing the 'echanic! of the c%a!! !#!te'3 were the revo%utionar# 0ro0aganda. 9On%# how to !cra' %e the'3 da'n the'3 that>! the 0ro %e'3? "ukhin !aid3 in a different tone3 and %ooked !tern%# at 'e with oth e#e!. 9+hat>! not nav#< ean!3 i! itE? 1nd thi! ti'e he waited for '# an!wer. Fro' that da# we 0%unged head%ong into the work. 5e had no o%der 'en to direct u!. Our own e/0erience wa! inadeCuate. )ut not once did we run into difficu%tie! or get confu!ed. One thing evo%ved fro' another a! inevita %# a! in our conver!ation with "ukhin at the inn. 1t the end of the %a!t centur# the 0ivot of the econo'ic deve%o0'ent of ,u!!ia wa! !hifting !wift%# to the !outhea!t. 4reat 0%ant! were eing ui%t one after another in the $outh3 two in Niko%a#ev. In 1G9;3 the nu' er of worker! in the Niko%a#ev 0%ant! a'ounted to G32223 in addition to which there were I3222 worker! in variou! trade!. +he inte%%ectua% %eve% of the worker! wa! co'0arative%# high3 a! were their earning!. +he i%%iterate! were few. +he 0%ace that the revo%utionar# organi-ation! ca'e to ho%d %ater wa! then fi%%ed to !o'e e/tent # the re%igiou! !ect! which engaged in !ucce!!fu% warfare with the officia% re%igion. In the a !ence of 0o%itica% di!order!3 the !ecret 0o%ice in Niko%a#ev were !%u' ering 0eacefu%%#. +he# 0%a#ed into our hand! ad'ira %#. If the# had een awake3 we wou%d have een arre!ted during the ver# fir!t week! of our activit#. )ut we were the 0ioneer! and enefited # it. 5e !hook u0 the 0o%ice on%# after we had !haken u0 the worker!. 5hen I 'ade the acCuaintance of "ukhin and hi! friend!3 I ca%%ed '#!e%f # the na'e of =vov. It wa! not ea!# for 'e to te%% thi! fir!t 9con!0irator#? %ieD in fact3 it wa! rea%%# 0ainfu% to

9deceive? 0eo0%e with who' one intended to e a!!ociated for !uch a great and no %e cau!e. )ut the nickna'e of =vov !oon !tuck to 'e3 and I got u!ed to it '#!e%f. +he worker! !trea'ed toward u! a! if the# had een waiting for thi!. +he# a%% rought friend!D !o'e ca'e with their wive!3 and a few o%der 'en @oined the grou0! with their !on!. 5e never !ought the' outD the# %ooked for u!. Young and ine/0erienced %eader! that we were3 we were !oon overwhe%'ed # the 'ove'ent we had !tarted. Ever# word of our! 'et with a re!0on!e. 1! 'an# a! twent# and twent#<five or 'ore of the worker! gathered at our !ecret reading! and di!cu!!ion!3 he%d in hou!e!3 in the wood!3 or on the river. +he 0redo'inating e%e'ent wa! co'0o!ed of high%# !ki%%ed worker! who earned fair%# good wage!. +he# a%read# had an eight< hour da# at the Niko%a#ev !hi0 ui%ding #ard!D the# were not intere!ted in !trike!D what the# wanted wa! @u!tice in !ocia% re%ation!. +he# ca%%ed the'!e%ve! )a0ti!t!3 or $tundi!t!3 or Evange%ica% *hri!tian!3 ut their! wa! not a dog'atic !ectariani!'. +he worker! were !i'0%# reaking awa# fro' orthodo/#3 and a0ti!' eca'e a te'0orar# 0ha!e for the' in their 0rogre!! to ward revo%ution. 8uring the fir!t week! of our conver!ation!3 !o'e of the' !ti%% u!ed !ectarian e/0re!!ion!3 and often 'ade co'0ari!on! with the 0eriod of the ear%# *hri!tian!. )ut near%# a%% of the' !oon dro00ed thi! wa# of !0eaking when the# found that the# were on%# a %aughing<!tock for the #ounger 'en. Even to thi! da# the 'ore !triking figure! a'ong the' !ee' a%ive to 'e. +here wa! the ca inet'aker in hi! ow%er3 Korotkov3 who had done with a%% '#!tic! %ong ago3 a @ocu%ar fe%%ow and a rh#'e!ter who wou%d !a# !o%e'n%#3 9I a' a ration%i!t3? 'eaning a rationa%i!t. 1nd when +ara! $ave%#evitch3 an o%d evange%i!t and a grandfather3 wou%d egin3 for the hundredth ti'e3 to ta%k a out the ear%# *hri!tian!3 who %ike our!e%ve! 'et !ecret%#3 Korotkov wou%d cut hi' !hort with 91 fig for #our theo%og#J? and to!! hi! ow%er indignant%# u0 into the tree!. Ae wou%d wait for a whi%e and then go into the wood! in !earch of it. +hi! a%% ha00ened in the fore!t on the dune!. "an# of the worker! were !o infected # the new idea! that the# egan to co'0o!e ver!e!. Korotkov wrote the 1roletarian !arch which egan thi! wa#& 95e are the a%0ha! and o'ega!3 the eginning! and ending!.? Ne!terenko3 a car0enter3 who3 %ike hi! !on3 wa! a 'e' er of the grou0 of 1%e/andra =vovna $oko%ov!ka#a3 co'0o!ed a !ong a out Kar% "ar/ in Hkrainian3 and we !ang it in choru!. Ne!terenko hi'!e%f3 however3 ended ver# ad%#. Ae got in with the 0o%ice and etra#ed the who%e organi-ation. 1 #oung %a orer3 Yefi'ov3 a %ond giant with %ue e#e!3 who ca'e of an officer>! fa'i%# and wa! not on%# %iterate ut rea%%# we%% read3 %ived in the !%u'! of the town. I found hi' in an eating< 0%ace 0atroni-ed # tra'0!. Ae worked in the har or a! a %ong!hore'anD he neither !'oked nor drank. Ae wa! re!erved and we%%<'annered. )ut there 'u!t have een !o'e thing '#!teriou! a out hi! %ife3 de!0ite the fact that he wa! on%# twent#<one3 to account for hi! con!tant g%oo'ine!!. Ae !oon confided in 'e that he had een introduced to !o'e 'e' er! of the !ecret !ociet# of Narodovo%t-i L1M3 and offered to 0ut 'e in touch with the'. +hree of u!3 "ukhin3 Yefi'ov and I3 were !itting drinking tea in the noi!# ,ussia inn3 at the !a'e ti'e %i!tening to the deafening 'u!ic of the organ and waiting. 1t %a!t3 Yefi'ov indicated to u! with hi! e#e! the figure of a ig3 !tout 'an with a !'a%% eard. 9+here he i!.?

+he 'an !at at a ta %e # hi'!e%f and ke0t on drinking tea. +hen he egan to 0ut on hi! coat3 and with a 'echanica% 'ove 'ent of hi! hand3 cro!!ed hi'!e%f a! he %ooked at the ikon!. 95hatJ I! he the >Narodovo%et->E? "ukhin e/c%ai'ed in a hu!hed voice. +he 9Narodovo%et-? avoided 'eeting u!3 giving Yefi'ov !o'e vague e/cu!e. +he incident ha! a%wa#! re'ained a '#!ter# to 'e. Yefi'ov hi'!e%f !oon !Cuared hi! account! with %ife # a!0h#/iating hi'!e%f with coa%<ga!. It i! Cuite 0o!!i %e that the %ue<e#ed giant wa! a too% for !o'e !0# or conceiva %# !o'ething even wor!e. "ukhin3 who wa! an e%ectrician # trade3 in!ta%%ed a co'0%icated !#!te' of !igna%%ing in hi! a0art'ent for u!e in ca!e of 0o%ice raid!. Ae wa! twent#<!even3 ut !o fu%% of 0ractica% wi!do' and !o rich in e/0erience of %ife that he !ee'ed a%'o!t o%d to 'e. 1 tu ercu%ar3 he wou%d cough %ood. Ae re'ained a revo%utionar# throughout hi! %ife. 1fter one e/i%e and a 0ri!on ter'3 he wa! e/i%ed again. I 'et hi' again after twent#<three #ear! at the conference of the Hkrainian *o''uni!t Part# at Kharkoff. 5e !at raking u0 the 0a!t a! we to%d each other of the fate that had overtaken 'an# of the grou0 with who' we had een a!!ociated at the dawn of the revo%ution. 1t the conference "ukhin wa! e%ected to the centra% contro% co''ittee of the Hkrainian *o''uni!t Part#. Ae had !ure%# earned the honor. )ut !oon after that he wa! %aid %ow # i%%ne!!. Ae never recovered. I''ediate%# after we had co'e to know each other3 "ukhin introduced 'e to a friend of hi!3 another !ectarian3 )a enko3 who had a %itt%e hou!e of hi! own with a00%e<tree! in the court#ard. )a enko wa! %a'eD a !%ow 'an who wa! a%wa#! !o er. Ae taught 'e to drink tea with a00%e in!tead of %e'on. Ae wa! arre!ted with other! of our grou0 and !0ent !o'e ti'e in 0ri!on efore he returned to Niko%a#ev again. )ut Fate !e0arated u!. It wa! on%# in 19I5 that I ha00ened to read in !o'e 0a0er that a )a enko3 a for'er 'e' er of the $outh ,u!!ian =a or Hnion3 wa! %iving in the Province of Ku an. )# then3 hi! %eg! were co'0%ete%# 0ara%#-ed. $o'ehow I 'anaged3 at a ti'e when thing! were a%read# difficu%t for 'e3 to have the o%d 'an tran!ferred to E!!entuki to take the cure. Ae regained the u!e of hi! %eg!. I vi!ited hi' in the !anitariu'. Ae didn>t even know that +rot!k# and =vov were one and the !a'e 'an. 1gain we drank tea with a00%e and ta%ked a out the 0a!t. I can @u!t i'agine hi! !ur0ri!e when he heard that +rot!k# wa! a counter<revo%utionar#. +here were 'an# other intere!ting figure!3 too 'an# to enu'erate. +here wa! the fine #ounger generation that had een trained in the technica% !choo% of the !hi0#ard!3 and wa! ver# cu%tured. 1 'ere !ugge!tion fro' the in!tructor wa! enough to ena %e the' to gra!0 the who%e trend of hi! thought. 5e found the worker! 'ore !u!ce0ti %e to revo%utionar# 0ro0aganda than we had ever in our wi%de!t drea'! i'agined. +he a'a-ing effectivene!! of our work fair%# into/icated u!. Fro' revo%utionar# ta%e!3 we knew that the worker! won over # 0ro0aganda were u!ua%%# to e counted in !ing%e nu' er!. 1 revo%utionar# who converted two or three 'en to !ocia%i!' thought he had done a good 0iece of work3 wherea!3 with u!3 the nu' er of worker! who @oined or wanted to @oin the grou0! !ee'ed 0ractica%%# un%i'ited. +he on%# !hortage wa! in the 'atter of in!tructor! and in %iterature. +he teacher! had to !natch fro' each other in turn the !ing%e !oi%ed co0# of the %o11"nist Manifesto # "ar/ and Enge%! that had een tran!cri ed # 'an# hand! in Ode!!a3 with 'an# ga0! and 'uti%ation! of the te/t.

$oon we egan to 0roduce a %iterature of our ownD thi! wa!3 0ro0er%# !0eaking3 the eginning of '# %iterar# work3 which a%'o!t coincided with the !tart of '# revo%utionar# activitie!. I wrote 0roc%a'ation! and artic%e!3 and 0rinted the' a%% out in %onghand for the hectogra0h. 1t that ti'e we didn>t even know of the e/i!tence of t#0ewriter!. I 0rinted the %etter! with the ut'o!t care3 con!idering it a 0oint of honor to 'ake the' c%ear enough !o that even the %e!! %iterate cou%d read our 0roc%a'ation! without an# trou %e. It took 'e a out two hour! to a 0age. $o'eti'e! I didn>t even un end '# ack for a week3 cutting '# work !hort on%# for 'eeting! and !tud# in the grou0!. )ut what a !ati!fied fee%ing I had when I received the infor'ation fro' 'i%%! and work!ho0! that the worker! read voraciou!%# the '#!teriou! !heet! 0rinted in 0ur0%e ink3 0a!!ing the' a out fro' hand to hand a! the# di!cu!!ed the'J +he# 0ictured the author a! a !trange and 'ight# 0er!on who in !o'e '#!teriou! wa# had 0enetrated into the 'i%%! and knew what wa! going on in the work!ho0!3 and twent#<four hour! %ater 0a!!ed hi! co''ent! on event! in new%# 0rinted hand i%%!. 1t fir!t we 'ade the hectogra0h and 0rinted the 0roc%a'ation! in our roo'! at night. One of u! wou%d !tand guard in the court#ard. In the o0en !tove we had kero!ene and 'atche! read# to urn the te%%<ta%e thing! in ca!e of danger. Ever# thing wa! ver# crude3 ut the 0o%ice of Niko%a#ev were no 'ore e/0erienced than we were. =ater on3 we tran!ferred the 0rinting<0re!! to the a0art'ent of a 'idd%e<aged worker who had %o!t hi! !ight through an accident in one of the !ho0!. Ae 0%aced hi! a0art'ent at our di!0o!a% unhe!itating%#. Ae wou%d !a# with a %ow %augh3 9Ever#where i! 0ri!on for a %ind 'an.? 4radua%%# we got together at hi! 0%ace a %arge !u00%# of g%#cerine3 ge%atine and 0a0er. 5e worked at night. +he !%oven%# roo'3 with a cei%ing that ca'e %ow over our head!3 had a 0overt#<!tricken %ook a out it. 5e cooked our revo%utionar# rew on hi! iron !tove3 0ouring it out on a tin !heet. 1! he he%0ed u!3 the %ind 'an 'oved a out the ha%f< dark roo' with 'ore a!!urance than we did. +wo of the worker!3 a #oung o# and gir%3 wou%d watch reverent%# a! I 0u%%ed the fre!h%# 0rinted !heet! off the hectogra0h3 and then wou%d e/change g%ance!. If it had een 0o!!i %e for an# one to %ook at a%% thi! with a 9!o er? e#e3 at thi! grou0 of #oung 0eo0%e !curr#ing a out in the ha%f<darkne!! around a 'i!era %e hectogra0h3 what a !orr#3 fanta!tic thing it wou%d have !ee'ed to i'agine that the# cou%d3 in thi! wa#3 overthrow a 'ight# !tate that wa! centurie! o%dJ 1nd #et thi! !orr# fanta!# eca'e a rea%it# within a !ing%e generationD and on%# eight #ear! !e0arated tho!e night! fro' 19253 and not Cuite twent# fro' 191;. 5ord<of<'outh 0ro0aganda never gave 'e the !a'e !ati!faction a! the 0rinted i%%! did at that ti'e. "# know%edge wa! inadeCuate3 and I didn>t know how to 0re!ent it effective%#. 5e 'ade no rea% !0eeche! in the fu%% !en!e of the word. On%# once3 in the wood! on "a#da#3 did I have to 'ake one3 and it e' arra!!ed 'e great%#. Ever# word I uttered !ee'ed horri %# fa%!e. On the other hand3 when I ta%ked to the grou0! it wa!n>t !o ad. 1! a ru%e3 however3 the revo%utionar# work went on at fu%% !0eed. I e!ta %i!hed and deve%o0ed contact! with Ode!!a. Evening! I wou%d go to the 0ier3 0a# a rou %e for a third<c%a!! ticket3 and %ie down on the deck of the !tea'er near the funne%3 with '# @acket under '# head and '# over coat to cover 'eD in the 'orning I wou%d wake u0 in Ode!!a and !eek out the 0eo0%e I knew there. +hen I wou%d return the ne/t night3 !o a! never to wa!te an# ti'e in trave%%ing. "# contact! in Ode!!a !udden%# increa!ed in nu' er. 1t the entrance of the Pu %ic =i rar#3 I 'et a !0ectac%ed worker. 5e %ooked at each other c%o!e%# and under!tood. Ae wa! 1% ert Po%#ak3 a co'0o!itor3 who %ater organi-ed the fa'ou! centra% 0rinting<0re!! of the 0art#. "# acCuaintance with hi' 'arked an e0och in the %ife of our

organi-ation. 5ithin a few da#! after I 'et hi'3 I rought ack with 'e to Niko%a#ev a trave%%ing< ag fu%% of 9i%%ega%? %iterature fro' a roadD new 0ro0aganda 0a'0h%et! in gai%# co%ored cover!. 5e ke0t o0ening the ag to %ook ad'iring%# at our trea!ure. +he 0a'0h%et! were circu%ated in no ti'e3 and increa!ed our authorit# in %a or circ%e!. Fro' Po%#ak I accidenta%%# %earned in conver!ation that the 'echanic $hrent!e%3 who had een 0o!ing a! a fu%%<f%edged engineer and had een tr#ing to wedge hi! wa# into our grou03 wa! an infor'er of %ong !tanding. +hi! $hrent!e% wa! a !tu0id and i'0ortunate fe%%ow who a%wa#! wore a unifor' ca0 with a adge. In!tinctive%# we never tru!ted hi'. )ut he did %earn !o'ething a out a few of u!. I invited hi' to "ukhin>! a0art'ent3 and to%d hi! %ife<!tor# in detai%3 o'itting hi! na'e. Ae eca'e utter%# frantic. 5e threatened to give hi' !hort !hrift if he etra#ed u!. 100arent%# it had it! effect3 ecau!e he %eft u! a%one for three 'onth! after that. )ut when we were arre!ted3 a! if to get even with u! $hrent!e% 0i%ed horror on horror in hi! evidence again!t u!. 5e ca%%ed our organi-ation the $outh ,u!!ian 5orker!> Hnion3 intending to inc%ude worker! fro' other town!. I drafted our con!titution a%ong $ocia% 8e'ocratic %ine!. +he 'i%% authoritie! tried to off!et our inf%uence through !0eaker! of their own. 5e wou%d an!wer the' the ne/t da# with new 0roc%a'ation!. +hi! due% of word! arou!ed not on%# the worker! ut a great 'an# of the citi-en! a! we%%. +he who%e town wa! a%ive with ta%k a out revo%utionarie! who were f%ooding the 'i%%! with their hand i%%!. Our na'e! were on ever# tongue. $ti%% the 0o%ice de%a#ed. +he# refu!ed to e%ieve that 9tho!e #oung rat! fro' the garden? were ca0a %e of carr#ing on an# !uch ca'0aign. +he# !u!0ected that there were 'ore e/0erienced %eader! ehind u!3 0ro a %# o%d e/i%e!. +hi! gave u! two or three additiona% 'onth! in which to work. Fina%%# our 'ove'ent! were !o c%o!e%# watched that the 0o%ice cou%dn>t he%0 ut di!cover one grou0 after another. $o we decided to %eave Niko%a#ev for a few week!3 to 0ut the 0o%ice off our track. I wa! !u00o!ed to go to '# fa'i%# in the countr#D $oko%ov!ka#a3 with her rother3 to Ekaterino!%av3 and !o on. 1t the !a'e ti'e3 we fir'%# re!o%ved not to hide in ca!e of who%e!a%e arre!t!3 ut to %et our!e%ve! e taken3 !o that the 0o%ice cou%d not !a# to the worker!& 9Your %eader! have de!erted #ou.? $o'e ti'e efore I wa! !u00o!ed to %eave3 Ne!terenko in!i!ted that I !hou%d hand over a und%e of 0roc%a'ation! to hi' in 0er!on. Ae fi/ed a! the 'eeting<0%ace ehind the ce'eter#3 %ate at night. +here wa! dee0 !now on the groundD the 'oon wa! !hining. )e#ond the ce'eter# #ou cou%d !ee a wide de!ert %ike e/0an!e. I found hi' at the a00ointed !0ot. 7u!t a! I wa! handing hi' a 0acket that I took out fro' under '# coat3 !o'e one detached hi'!e%f fro' the ce'eter# wa%% and wa%ked 0a!t u!3 touching Ne!terenko with hi! e% ow. 95ho i! thatE? I a!ked3 in !ur0ri!e. 9I don>t know3? an!wered Ne!terenko a! he watched the other 'an wa%k off. 1t that ti'e he wa! a%read# working with the 0o%ice3 ut it never entered '# 'ind to !u!0ect hi'. On the twent#<eighth of 7anuar#3 1G9G3 there were 'a!! arre!t!. 1%together3 over two hundred 0eo0%e were taken. +he 0o%ice a00%ied the !courge. One of tho!e arre!ted3 a !o%dier na'ed $oko%ov3 wa! driven to throw hi'!e%f fro' the !econd f%oor of the 0ri!onD he wa! 'ere%# ad%# rui!ed. 1nother3 =evandov!k#3 went in!ane. +here were !ti%% other victi'!.

1'ong tho!e arre!ted3 there were 'an# who got there # accident. 1 few of tho!e on who' we were re%#ing de!erted u!3 and even in !o'e in!tance! etra#ed u!. On the other hand3 !o'e who ad een Cuite incon!0icuou! in our rank! !howed great !trength of character. For in!tance3 there wa! a turner3 a 4er'an na'ed 1ugu!t 8orn3 a 'an a out fift# #ear! o%d3 who for !o'e unknown rea!on wa! detained in 0ri!on for a %ong ti'e3 a%though he had on%# vi!ited our grou0 a few ti'e!. Ae ehaved 'agnificent%#3 and ke0t !inging ga# and3 one 'u!t ad'it3 not a%wa#! 0uritanica% 4er'an !ong! at the to0 of hi! voice. Ae 'ade @oke! in 0igeon<,u!!ian3 and ke0t u0 the !0irit! of the #oung. In the "o!cow tran!fer 0ri!on where we were detained3 a%% of u! in the !a'e ce%%3 8orn wou%d addre!! the !a'ovar 'ocking%#3 a!k it to co'e over3 and then retort3 9You won>tE 5e%%3 then 8orn wi%% co'e to #ou.? 1%though thi! wa! re0eated ever# da#3 we a%wa#! good<natured%# %aughed at it. +he Niko%a#ev organi-ation wa! hard hit3 ut it did not di! a00ear. Other! !oon re0%aced u!. )oth the revo%utionarie! and the 0o%ice were growing in e/0erience.

'otes
1. "e' er! of the +errori!t Narodnaya ;olya (The 1eople *ill). B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! V000

M4 F0!)T P!0)&')
8uring the raid! of 7anuar#3 1G9G3 I wa! arre!ted3 not in Niko%a#ev ut on the e!tate of a wea%th# %andowner3 $okovnin3 where $hvigov!k# had found a @o a! a gardener. I had !to00ed off there on the wa# fro' Yanovka to Niko%a#ev with a %arge rief<ca!e fi%%ed with 'anu!cri0t!3 drawing!3 %etter!3 and a%% 'anner of other 9i%%ega%? 'ateria%. $hvigov!k# hid the dangerou! 0ackage! for the night in a ho%e3 a%ong with ca age!D and at !unri!e3 when he wa! going out to 0%ant hi! tree!3 he took it out again to turn it over to 'e for our work. It wa! @u!t at that ver# 'o'ent that the 0o%ice !udden%# invaded the 0%ace. $hvigov!k# 'anaged to dro0 the 0ackage ehind a water< arre%3 when he wa! in the ha%%3 and whi!0ered to the hou!ekee0er3 who gave u! our dinner under !u0ervi!ion of the 0o%ice3 to take it awa# fro' there and hide it. +he o%d wo'an decided that the e!t thing wa! to ur# it under the !now in the garden. 5e were Cuite !ure that the 0a0er! wou%d never get into the hand! of our ene'ie!. 5hen !0ring ca'e the !now 'e%ted awa#3 ut a fre!h cro0 of green gra!! covered the 0ackage3 which had !wo%%en !o'ewhat with the !0ring rain!.

5e were !ti%% in 0ri!on. It wa! !u''er. 1 work'an wa! cutting the gra!! in the garden when two of hi! o#! who were 0%a#ing there !tu' %ed on the 0ackage and gave it to their father. 1nd he3 in turn3 took it to the %andowner3 who wa! !o terrified at the !ight of it that he went to Niko%a#ev at once and turned it over to the chief of the !ecret 0o%ice. +he handwriting on the 'anu!cri0t! wa! evidence again!t 'an# of our 0eo0%e. +he o%d 0ri!on in Niko%a#ev had no decent acco''odation for 0o%itica% 0ri!oner!3 e!0ecia%%# for !o 'an# of the'. I wa! 0ut into the !a'e ce%% with a #oung ook inder na'ed Yavitch. +he ce%% wa! a ver# %arge oneD it cou%d ho%d a out thirt#3 ut there wa! no furniture of an# !ort3 and it had ver# %itt%e heat. +here wa! a ig !Cuare o0ening in the door that %ooked out on an o0en corridor %eading !traight into the court#ard. +he 7anuar# fro!t! were ver# itter. 1 !traw 'attre!! wa! !0read on the f%oor for u! to !%ee0 on at night3 and wa! taken awa# at !i/ o>c%ock in the 'orning. It wa! torture to get u0 and dre!! our!e%ve!. Yavitch and I wou%d !it on the f%oor3 in hat!3 over coat! and ru er!3 0re!!ing c%o!e to one another and %eaning again!t the !tove3 which wa! are%# war'3 and wou%d drea' awa# for two hour! or 'ore at a ti'e. It wa! the ha00ie!t 0art of the da# for u!. 5e were not eing ca%%ed u0 for cro!!<e/a'ination3 !o we wou%d run ack and forth fro' one corner to the other3 tr#ing to kee0 war'D we ta%ked a out the 0a!t and ho0ed wondering%# a out our future. I egan to teach Yavitch !o'e thing a out the !cience!. +hree week! 0a!!ed in thi! wa#. +hen there wa! a change. 5ith a%% '# e%onging!3 I wa! !u''oned to the 0ri!on office and given over to two ta%% gendar'e!3 who drove 'e # hor!e to a 0ri!on at Kher!on. It wa! a ui%ding even o%der than the other. "# ce%% wa! roo'#3 ut it had on%# a narrow window that did not o0en3 and wa! 0rotected # heav# iron ar! through which %itt%e %ight cou%d enter. "# i!o%ation wa! a !o%ute and ho0e%e!!. +here wa! no wa%king3 nor were there an# neigh or!. I cou%dn>t !ee an#thing through '# window3 which had een entire%# !ea%ed u0 for the winter. I got no 0arce%! fro' out!ide3 and I had no tea or !ugar. Pri!oner>! !tew wa! given to 'e once a da#3 for dinner. 1 ration of r#e read with !a%t wa! reakfa!t and !u00er. I had %ong di!cu!!ion! with '#!e%f a! to whether I !hou%d increa!e '# 'orning 0ortion at the e/0en!e of the evening one. +he 'orning argu'ent! in favor of an increa!e !ee'ed Cuite !en!e%e!! and cri'ina% at nightD at !u00er<ti'e3 I hated the 0er!on who had treated hi'!e%f at reakfa!t. I didn>t have a change of %inen. For three 'onth! I had to wear the !a'e underwear3 and I had no !oa0. +he ver'in there were eating 'e a%ive. I wou%d !et '#!e%f to taking one thou!and3 one hundred and e%even !te0! on the diagona%. +hat wa! '# nineteenth #ear. +he !o%itude wa! un roken3 wor!e than an# I ever e/0erienced afterward3 a%though I !erved ti'e in near%# twent# 0ri!on!. I didn>t have even a ook3 a 0iece of 0a0er or a 0enci%. +he ce%% wa! never aired. +he on%# wa# I cou%d gauge the co'0arative 0urit# of the air wa! # the gri'ace that twi!ted the face of the a!!i!tant warden when he !o'eti'e! vi!ited 'e. )iting off a 0iece of the 0ri!on read3 I wou%d co'0o!e ver!e! whi%e I wa%ked on the diagona%. I turned the 0o0u%i!t !ong )ubinush$a into a 0ro%etarian !achinush$a3 and I co'0o!ed a revo%utionar# :a#arins$y. 1%though the# were 'o!t 'ediocre3 the!e ver!e! eca'e ver# 0o0u%ar %ater on. +he# are re0rinted in the !ong< ook! even to<da#. +here were ti'e!3 however3 when I wa! !ick with %one%ine!!. 1nd on !uch occa!ion! I wou%d e e/aggerated%# fir' with '#!e%f and count out another one thou!and3 one hundred and e%even !te0! in !hoe! a%read# worn out.

1t the end of the third 'onth3 when a !traw<fi%%ed ag3 0ri!on< read3 and %ice were the fi/ed e%e'ent! of e/i!tence3 a! 'uch !o a! da# and night3 one evening the guard! rought 'e a great und%e of thing! fro' that other3 utter%# fanta!tic wor%dD there were fre!h %inen3 cover! and a 0i%%ow3 white read3 tea3 !ugar3 ha'3 canned food!3 a00%e!3 orange! B #e!3 ig right<co%ored orange!J Even to<da#3 after thirt#<one #ear!3 I %i!t a%% the!e 'arve%%ou! thing! with e'otion3 and I even 0u%% '#!e%f u0 for having forgotten the @ar of @a'3 the !oa0 and the co' for '# hair. 9Your 'other !ent the'3? !aid the a!!i!tant warden. 1nd %itt%e a! I knew a out reading the thought! of 0eo0%e in tho!e da#!3 I cou%d te%% fro' hi! tone that he had een ri ed. 1 %itt%e whi%e %ater3 I wa! taken on a !tea'er to Ode!!a3 where I wa! 0ut into !o%itar# confine'ent in a 0ri!on ui%t on%# a few #ear! efore3 and the %a!t word in technica% eCui0'ent. 1fter Niko%a#ev and Kher!on3 the Ode!!a 0ri!on !ee'ed a 0erfect 0%ace. +a00ing3 note!3 9te%e0hone3? and !houting through window! B in other word!3 co''unication !ervice B were continuou!. I ta00ed '# ver!e! written at Kher!on to '# neigh or!3 and the# !ent 'e new! in return. )# wa# of the window3 $hvigov!k# 'anaged to te%% 'e of the di!cover# of the rief<ca!e3 !o that I had no trou %e in avoiding the tra0 that =ieutenant<*o%one% 8re'%#uga !et for 'e. 1t that ti'e3 I 'u!t e/0%ain3 we had not #et egun to refu!e to give evidence3 a! we did a few #ear! %ater. +he 0ri!on wa! overcrowded after the thoroughgoing !0ring arre!t!. On "arch 1!t3 1G9G3 whi%e I wa! !ti%% at Kher!on3 the fir!t congre!! of the $ocia% 8e'ocratic Part# 'et at "in!k and drew u0 it! con!titution. +here were nine 'e' er! there3 and 'o!t of the' were caught in a wave of arre!t! that fo%%owed their 'eeting. 1 few 'onth! afterward3 no one ta%ked a out the congre!! an# 'ore. )ut what fo%%owed it affected the hi!tor# of 'an. +he 'anife!to ado0ted there %i'ned the future of 0o%itica% !trugg%e a! fo%%ow!& 9+he farther we go to the Ea!t of Euro0e3 the 'ore coward%# and di!hone!t3 in a 0o%itica% !en!e3 do we find the bourgeoisieD and the greater3 corre!0onding%#3 eco'e! the 0o%itica% and cu%tura% ta!k confronting the 0ro%etariat.? +here i! a certain hi!torica% 0iCuanc# in the fact that the author of the 'anife!to wa! the notoriou! Peter $truve3 who %ater eca'e the %eader of %i era%i!'3 and !ti%% %ater the 0u %ici!t of the c%erica% and 'onarchi!t reaction. 8uring the fir!t few 'onth! of '# !ta# in the 0ri!on in Ode!!a3 I received no ook! fro' the out!ide3 and !o I had to e content with the 0ri!on %i rar#3 which wa! 'ade u0 'o!t%# of con!ervative hi!torica% and re%igiou! 'aga-ine! covering !evera% #ear!. I !tudied the' in!atia %#3 and %earned through the' to know a%% the !ect! and here!ie! of ancient and 'odern ti'e!3 a%% the advantage! of the orthodo/ church !ervice3 and the e!t argu'ent! again!t *atho%ici!'3 Prote!tanti!'3 +o%!to#i!'3 and 8arwini!'. 9+he *hri!tian con!ciou!ne!!3? I read in the &rthodo/ !e iew3 9%ove! true !cience!3 inc%uding natura% !cience!3 a! the inte%%ectua% kin!'en of faith.? +he 'irac%e of )a%aa'>! a!!3 who entered into an argu'ent with a 0ro0het3 cou%d not e di!0roved even fro' the 0oint of view of natura% !cience. 9I!n>t it a fact3 for in!tance3 that 0arrot! and even canar#< ird! can ta%kE? +hi! argu'ent # the arch i!ho0 Nikanor occu0ied '# 'ind for !evera% da#!3 even in '# drea'!. +he inve!tigation! of devi%! and their chief3 the Prince of 8arkne!!3 and of their dark kingdo'3 were con!tant%# a'a-ing to 'e3 and diverted '# rationa%i!t 'ind with their codified !tu0iditie! of thou!and! of #ear!. +he e/hau!tive de!cri0tion and !tud# of Paradi!e3 with detai%ed it! a out it! %ocation and inner !tructure3 ended 'e%ancho%ica%%# with& 9+he 0reci!e %ocation of 0aradi!e i!

not known.? 1nd3 at tea3 at dinner3 and during '# wa%k!3 I re0eated thi! !entence& 9,egarding the geogra0hica% %ongitude of the fe%icitou! 0aradi!e3 there i! no 0reci!e infor'ation.? I !ei-ed on ever# o00ortunit# to indu%ge in theo%ogica% ickering with the 0o%ice !ergeant "ik%in3 a greed#3 'a%iciou! fe%%ow and an inveterate %iar3 who wa! e/tre'e%# 0iou! and we%% read in the ho%# ook!. Ae u!ed to hu' h#'n! a! he hurried fro' ce%% to ce%%3 hi! dang%ing ke#! ringing out a! he c%i' ed the iron !tair!. 9On%# for one !ing%e word3 P*hri!t>! 'other> in!tead of P4od>! 'other3>? he in!tructed 'e3 9the heretic 1nu!>! e%%# ur!t.? 91nd wh# are the e%%ie! of the heretic! to<da# !ti%% intactE? I retorted. 9+he!e are ... the!e are different ti'e!3? he re0%ied3 in an offended tone. +hrough '# !i!ter3 who had co'e fro' the countr#3 I 'anaged to get four co0ie! of the )i %e in different %anguage!. $o I read the 4o!0e%!3 ver!e # ver!e3 with the he%0 of the %itt%e know%edge of 4er'an and French that I had acCuired in !choo%3 and !ide # !ide with thi! a 0ara%%e% reading in Eng%i!h and Ita%ian. In a few 'onth!3 I 'ade e/ce%%ent 0rogre!! in thi! wa#. I 'u!t ad'it3 however3 that '# %ingui!tic ta%ent! are ver# 'ediocre. Even now I do not know a !ing%e foreign %anguage we%%3 a%though I !ta#ed for !o'e ti'e in variou! Euro0ean countrie!. For their 'eeting with re%ative!3 the 0ri!oner! were tran!ferred to narrow wooden cage! !e0arated fro' the vi!itor! # a dou %e grating. 5hen '# father ca'e to !ee 'e for the fir!t ti'e3 he i'agined that I wa! a%wa#! ke0t in that narrow o/ and wa! !o overco'e at the thought that he cou%d not !0eak. In an!wer to '# Cue!tion!3 he on%# 'oved hi! %ood%e!! %i0! in !i%ence. Never wi%% I forget hi! face. "# 'other ca'e forewarned3 and wa! 'uch ca%'er. Echoe! of what wa! taking 0%ace in the out!ide wor%d reached u! in it!. +he $outh 1frican war hard%# touched u!. 5e were !ti%% 0rovincia%! in the fu%% !en!e of the word. 5e were inc%ined to inter0ret the !trugg%e etween the )oer! and the Eng%i!h chief%# a! an in!tance of the inevita %e victor# of %arge ca0ita% over !'a%%. +he 8re#fu! ca!e3 which wa! then at it! c%i'a/3 thri%%ed u! # it! dra'a. Once a ru'or reached u! that a coup d<tat had een carried out in France and that 'onarch# had een re!tored. 5e a%% fe%t dee0%# a!ha'ed. +he guard! went ru!hing through the iron corridor! and u0 and down the !tairca!e! tr#ing to !to0 our anging and !houting. +he# thought we had een !erved inedi %e food. )ut noJ It wa! the 0o%itica% wing of the 0ri!on 0rote!ting e/cited%# again!t the re!toration of 'onarch# in France. +he artic%e! dea%ing with free'a!onr# in the theo%ogica% 'aga-ine! arou!ed '# intere!t. 5here did thi! !trange 'ove'ent co'e fro'E I a!ked '#!e%f. Aow wou%d "ar/i!' e/0%ain itE I re!i!ted the theor# of hi!torica% 'ateria%i!' for Cuite a %ong ti'e3 and he%d to that of the 'u%ti0%icit# of hi!torica% factor!3 which3 a! we know3 even to<da# i! the 'o!t wide%# acce0ted theor# in !ocia% !cience. Peo0%e denote a! 9factor!? the variou! a!0ect! of their !ocia% activit#3 endow thi! conce0t with a !u0ra<!ocia% character3 and then !u0er!titiou!%# inter0ret their own activit# a! the re!u%t of the inter action of the!e inde0endent force!. 5here did the factor! co'e fro'3 that i!3 under the inf%uence of what condition! did the# evo%ve fro' 0ri'itive hu'an !ociet#E 5ith the!e Cue!tion!3 the officia% ec%ectic theor# doe! not concern it!e%f.

It wa! in '# ce%% that I read with de%ight two we%%<known e!!a#! # an o%d Ita%ian Aege%ian< "ar/i!t3 1ntonio =a rio%a3 which reached the 0ri!on in a French tran!%ation. Hn%ike 'o!t =atin writer!3 =a rio%a had 'a!tered the 'ateria%i!t dia%ectic!3 if not in 0o%itic! B in which he wa! he%0%e!! B at %ea!t in the 0hi%o!o0h# of hi!tor#. +he ri%%iant di%ettanti!' of hi! e/0o!ition actua%%# concea%ed a ver# 0rofound in!ight. Ae 'ade !hort work3 and in 'arve%%ou! !t#%e3 of the theor# of 'u%ti0%e factor! which were !u00o!ed to dwe%% on the O%#'0u! of hi!tor# and ru%e our fate! fro' there. 1%though thirt# #ear! have gone # !ince I read hi! e!!a#!3 the genera% trend of hi! argu'ent i! !ti%% fir'%# entrenched in '# 'e'or#3 together with hi! continuou! refrain of 9idea! do not dro0 fro' the !k#.? 1fter =a rio%a3 a%% the ,u!!ian 0ro0onent! of the 'u%ti0%icit# of factor!3 =avrov3 "ikha#%ov!k#3 Kare#ev3 and other!3 !ee'ed utter%# ineffectua% to 'e. "an# #ear! %ater I wa! who%%# at a %o!! to under!tand !o'e of the "ar/i!t! who had !uccu' ed to the inf%uence of the !teri%e treati!e on (+ono1i+s and the Law3 written # the 4er'an 0rofe!!or3 $ta''%er. It wa! @u!t another of the innu'era %e atte'0t! to force the great !trea' of natura% and hu'an hi!tor#3 fro' the a'oe a to 0re!ent<da# 'an and e#ond3 through the c%o!ed ring! of the eterna% categorie! B ring! which have rea%it# on%# a! 'ark! on the rain of a 0edant. It wa! during that 0eriod that I eca'e intere!ted in free'a!onr#. For !evera% 'onth!3 I avid%# !tudied ook! on it! hi!tor#3 ook! given to 'e # re%ative! and friend! in the town. 5h# had the 'erchant!3 arti!t!3 anker!3 officia%!3 and %aw#er!3 fro' the fir!t Cuarter of the !eventeenth centur# on3 egun to ca%% the'!e%ve! 'a!on! and tried to recreate the ritua% of the 'edieva% gui%d!E 5hat wa! a%% thi! !trange 'a!Cuerade a outE 4radua%%# the 0icture grew c%earer. +he o%d gui%d wa! 'ore than a 0roducing organi-ationD it regu%ated the ethic! and 'ode of %ife of it! 'e' er! a! we%%. It co'0%ete%# e' raced the %ife of the ur an 0o0u%ation3 e!0ecia%%# the gui%d! of !e'i<arti!an! and !e'i<arti!t! of the ui%ding trade!. +he reak<u0 of the gui%d !#!te' rought a 'ora% cri!i! in a !ociet# which had are%# e'erged fro' 'edieva%. +he new 'ora%it# wa! taking !ha0e 'uch 'ore !%ow%# than the o%d wa! eing cut down. Aence3 the atte'0t3 !o co''on in hi!tor#3 to 0re!erve a for' of 'ora% di!ci0%ine when it! !ocia% foundation!3 which in thi! in!tance were tho!e of the indu!tria% gui%d!3 had %ong !ince een under'ined # the 0roce!!e! of hi!tor#. 1ctive 'a!onr# eca'e theoretica% 'a!onr#. )ut the o%d 'ora% wa#! of %iving3 which 'en were tr#ing to kee0 @u!t for the !ake of kee0ing the'3 acCuired a new 'eaning. In certain ranche! of free'a!onr#3 e%e'ent! of an o viou! reactionar# feuda%i!' were 0ro'inent3 a! in the $cotti!h !#!te'. In the eighteenth centur#3 free'a!onr# eca'e e/0re!!ive of a 'i%itant 0o%ic# of en%ighten'ent3 a! in the ca!e of the I%%u'inati3 who were the forerunner! of revo%utionD on it! %eft3 it cu%'inated in the *ar onari. Free'a!on! counted a'ong their 'e' er! oth =oui! .(I and the 8r. 4ui%%otin who invented the gui%%otine. In !outhern 4er'an#3 free'a!onr# a!!u'ed an o0en%# revo%utionar# character3 wherea! at the court of *atherine the 4reat it wa! a 'a!Cuerade ref%ecting the ari!tocratic and ureaucratic hierarch#. 1 free'a!on Novikov wa! e/i%ed to $i eria # a free'a!on e'0re!!. 1%though in our da# of chea0 and read#<'ade c%othing hard%# an# od# i! !ti%% wearing hi! grandfather>! surtout3 in the wor%d of idea! the surtout and the crino%ine are !ti%% in fa!hion. Idea! are handed down fro' generation to generation3 a%though3 %ike grand'other>! 0i%%ow! and cover!3 the# reek of !ta%ene!!. Even tho!e who are o %iged to change the !u !tance of their o0inion! force the' into ancient 'ou%d!. +he revo%ution in indu!tr# ha! een 'uch 'ore far<

reaching than it ha! in idea!3 where 0iecework i! 0referred to new !tructure!. +hat i! wh# the French 0ar%ia'entarian! of the 0ett# bourgeoisie cou%d find no etter wa# of creating 'ora% tie! to ho%d the 0eo0%e together again!t the di!ru0tivene!! of 'odern re%ation! than to 0ut on white a0ron! and ar' the'!e%ve! with a 0air of co'0a!!e! or a 0%u' %ine. +he# were rea%%# thinking %e!! of erecting a new ui%ding than of finding their wa# ack into the o%d one of 0ar%ia'ent or 'ini!tr#. 1! the 0ri!on ru%e! de'anded that a 0ri!oner give u0 hi! o%d e/erci!e< ook when he wa! given a new one3 I got for '# !tudie! on free'a!onr# an e/erci!e< ook with a thou!and nu' ered 0age!3 and entered in it3 in tin# character!3 e/cer0t! fro' 'an# ook!3 inter!0er!ed with '# own ref%ection! on free'a!onr#3 a! we%% a! on the 'ateria%i!t conce0tion of hi!tor#. +hi! took u0 the etter 0art of a #ear. I edited each cha0ter carefu%%#3 co0ied it into a note< ook which had een !'ugg%ed in to 'e3 and then !ent that out to friend! in other ce%%! to read. For contriving thi!3 we had a co'0%icated !#!te' which we ca%%ed the 9te%e0hone.? +he 0er!on for who' the 0ackage wa! intended B that i!3 if hi! ce%% wa! not too far awa# B wou%d attach a weight to a 0iece of !tring3 and then3 ho%ding hi! hand a! far a! he cou%d out of the window3 wou%d !wing the weight in a circ%e. 1! 0reviou!%# arranged through ta00ing3 I wou%d !tick '# roo' out !o that the weight cou%d !wing around it. +hen I wou%d draw the roo' in and tie the 'anu!cri0t to the !tring. 5hen the 0er!on to who' I wanted to !end it wa! too far awa#3 we 'anaged it # a !erie! of !tage!3 which of cour!e 'ade thing! 'ore co'0%icated. +oward the end of '# !ta# in the Ode!!a 0ri!on3 the fat e/erci!e< ook3 0rotected # the !ignature of the !enior 0o%ice !ergeant3 H!ov3 had eco'e a verita %e we%% of hi!torica% erudition and 0hi%o!o0hic thought. I don>t know whether it cou%d e 0rinted to<da# a! I wrote it then. I wa! %earning too 'uch at a ti'e3 fro' too 'an# different !0here!3 e0och!3 and countrie!3 and I a' afraid that I wa! too an/iou! to te%% ever#thing at once in '# fir!t work. )ut I think that it! 'ain idea! and conc%u!ion! were correct. I fe%t3 even at that ti'e3 that I wa! !tanding fir'%# on '# own feet3 and a! the work 0rogre!!ed3 I had the fee%ing even 'ore !trong%#. I wou%d give a great dea% to<da# to find that 'anu!cri0t. It went with 'e into e/i%e3 a%though there I di!continued '# work on free'a!onr# to take u0 the !tud# of "ar/ian econo'ic!. 1fter '# e!ca0e a road3 1%e/andra =vovna L1M forwarded the !cri0t to 'e fro' $i eria3 through '# 0arent!3 when the# vi!ited 'e in Pari! in 1923. =ater on3 when I went on a !ecret 'i!!ion to ,u!!ia3 it wa! %eft in 4eneva with the re!t of '# 'ode!t N'igrN archive!3 to e co'e 0art of the 0skra>! archive! and to find there an unti'e%# grave. 1fter '# !econd e!ca0e fro' $i eria3 I tried to recover it3 ut in vain. 100arent%# it had een u!ed to %ight fire! or !o'e !uch thing # the $wi!! %and%ad# who had een intru!ted with the cu!tod# of the archive!. I can>t refrain here fro' conve#ing '# re0roache! to that worth# wo'an. +he wa# in which '# work on free'a!onr# had to e carried on3 in 0ri!on3 where %iterar# re!ource! at '# di!0o!a% were of cour!e ver# %i'ited3 !erved 'e in good !tead. 1t that ti'e I wa! !ti%% co'0arative%# ignorant of the a!ic %iterature of the "ar/i!t!. +he e!!a#! # =a rio%a were rea%%# 0hi%o!o0hic 0a'0h%et! and 0re!u'ed a know%edge that I didn>t have3 and for which I had to !u !titute gue!!work. I fini!hed the' with a unch of h#0othe!e! in '# head. +he work on free'a!onr# acted a! a te!t for the!e h#0othe!e!. I 'ade no new di!coverie!D a%% the 'ethodo%ogica% conc%u!ion! at which I had arrived had een 'ade %ong ago and were eing a00%ied in 0ractice. )ut I gro0ed '# wa# to the'3 and !o'ewhat inde0endent%#. I think thi!

inf%uenced the who%e cour!e of '# !u !eCuent inte%%ectua% deve%o0'ent. In the writing! of "ar/3 Enge%!3 P%ekhanov and "ehring3 I %ater found confir'ation for what in 0ri!on !ee'ed to 'e on%# a gue!! needing verification and theoretica% @u!tification. I did not a !or hi!torica% 'ateria%i!' at once3 dog'atica%%#. +he dia%ectic 'ethod revea%ed it !e%f to 'e for the fir!t ti'e not a! a !tract definition! ut a! a %iving !0ring which I had found in the hi!torica% 0roce!! a! I tried to under!tand it. "eanwhi%e3 the tide of revo%ution wa! eginning to ri!e a%% through the countr#. +he hi!torica% dia%ectic! were a%!o working 'arve%%ou!%# there3 on%# in a 0ractica% !en!e3 and on a huge !ca%e. +he !tudent 'ove'ent vented it!e%f in de'on!tration!. +he *o!!ack! knouted the !tudent!. +he %i era%! were indignant at thi! treat'ent of their !on!. +he $ocia% 8e'ocrac# wa! getting !tronger3 and wa! eco'ing an integra% 0art of the %a or 'ove'ent. ,evo%ution wa! no %onger a 0rivi%eged avocation in inte%%ectua% circ%e!. +he nu' er of worker! ar re!ted wa! increa!ing. It wa! ea!ier to reathe in the 0ri!on!3 de!0ite the overcrowding. )# the end of the !econd #ear3 the verdict in the ca!e of the $outh ,u!!ian 5orker!> Hnion wa! announced& the four 0rinci0a% defendant! were !entenced to e/i%e in ea!tern $i eria for four #ear!. 1fter thi! we were !ti%% ke0t for over !i/ 'onth! in the "o!cow tran!fer 0ri!on. I u!ed the interi' for inten!ive !tudie! in theor#. +hen for the fir!t ti'e I heard of =enin3 and !tudied hi! ook on the deve%o0'ent of ,u!!ian ca0ita%i!'3 which had @u!t a00eared3 fro' cover to cover. +hen I wrote and !'ugg%ed out of 0ri!on a 0a'0h%et on the %a or 'ove'ent at Niko%a#ev3 which wa! 0u %i!hed !oon after that in 4eneva. 5e were !ent awa# fro' the "o!cow 0ri!on in the !u''er. +here were inter%ude! in other 0ri!on!. It wa!n>t unti% the autu'n of 1922 that we reached our 0%ace of ani!h'ent.

'otes
1. 1%e/andra =vovna $oko%ov!ka#a3 who wa! e/i%ed to $i eria with the author3 and eca'e hi! wife B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! 0<

M4 F0!)T (<0L(
5e were going down the river =ena3 a few arge! of convict! with a convo# of !o%dier!3 drifting !%ow%# a%ong with the current. It wa! co%d at night3 and the heav# coat! with which we covered our!e%ve! were thick with fro!t in the 'orning. 1%% a%ong the wa#3 at vi%%age! decided on eforehand3 one or two convict! were 0ut a!hore. 1! we%% a! I can re'e' er3 it took a out three week! efore we ca'e to the vi%%age of H!t<Kut. +here I wa! 0ut a!hore with one of the wo'an

0ri!oner!3 a c%o!e a!!ociate of 'ine fro' Niko%a#ev. 1%e/andra =vovna had one of the 'o!t i'0ortant 0o!ition! in the $outh ,u!!ian 5orker!> Hnion. Aer utter %o#a%t# to !ocia%i!' and her co'0%ete %ack of an# 0er!ona% a' ition gave her an unCue!tioned 'ora% authorit#. +he work that we were doing ound u! c%o!e%# together3 and !o3 to avoid eing !e0arated3 we had een 'arried in the tran!fer 0ri!on in "o!cow. +he vi%%age co'0ri!ed a out a hundred 0ea!ant hut!. 5e !ett%ed down in one of the'3 on the ver# edge of the vi%%age. 1 out u! were the wood!D e%ow u!3 the river. Farther north3 down the =ena3 there were go%d<'ine!. +he ref%ection of the go%d !ee'ed to hover a out the river. H!t<Kut had known %u!her ti'e!3 da#! of wi%d de auche!3 ro erie!3 and 'urder!. 5hen we were there the vi%%age wa! ver# Cuiet3 ut there wa! !ti%% 0%ent# of drunkenne!!. +he cou0%e who owned the hut that we took were inveterate ti00%er!. =ife wa! dark and re0re!!ed3 utter%# re'ote fro' the re!t of the wor%d. 1t night3 the cockroache! fi%%ed the hou!e with their ru!t%ing! a! the# craw%ed over ta %e and ed3 and even over our face!. Fro' ti'e to ti'e we had to 'ove out of the hut for a da# or !o and kee0 the door wide o0en3 at a te'0erature of 35 degree! (Fahrenheit) e%ow -ero. In the !u''er our %ive! were 'ade wretched # 'idge!. +he# even it to death a cow which had %o!t it! wa# in the wood!. +he 0ea!ant! wore net! of tarred hor!ehair over their head!. In the !0ring and autu'n the vi%%age wa! uried in 'ud. +o e !ure3 the countr# wa! eautifu%3 ut during tho!e #ear! it %eft 'e co%d. I hated to wa!te intere!t and ti'e on it. I %ived etween the wood! and the river3 and I a%'o!t never noticed the' B I wa! !o u!# with '# ook! and 0er!ona% re%ation!. I wa! !tud#ing "ar/3 ru!hing the cockroache! off the 0age. +he =ena wa! the great water route of the e/i%ed. +ho!e who had co'0%eted their ter'! returned to the $outh # wa# of the river. )ut co''unication wa! continuou! etween the!e variou! ne!t! of the ani!hed which ke0t growing with the ri!e of the revo%utionar# tide. +he e/i%e! e/changed %etter! with each other3 !o'e of the' !o %ong that the# were rea%%# theoretica% treati!e!. It wa! co'0arative%# ea!# to get a tran!fer fro' one 0%ace to another fro' the governor of Irkut!k. 1%e/andra =vovna and I 'oved to a 0%ace I52 (ersts ea!t on the river I%i'3 where we had friend!. I found a @o there3 for a whi%e3 a! c%erk to a 'i%%ionaire 'erchant. Ai! fur de0ot!3 !tore! and !a%oon! were !cattered over a territor# a! ig a! )e%giu' and Ao%%and 0ut together. Ae wa! a 0owerfu% 'erchant<%ord. Ae referred to the thou!and! of +ungu!e! under hi' a! 9'# %itt%e +ungu!e!.? Ae cou%dn>t even write hi! na'eD he had to 'ark it with a cro!!. Ae %ived in niggard%# fa!hion the who%e #ear round3 and then wou%d !Cuander ten! of thou!and! of rou %e! at the annua% fair at Ni@ni<Novgorod. I worked under hi' for a 'onth and a ha%f. +hen one da# I entered on a i%% a 0ound of red<%ead a! 9one pood? (fort# 0ound!)3 and !ent thi! huge i%% to a di!tant !tore. +hi! co'0%ete%# ruined '# re0utation with '# e'0%o#er3 and I wa! di!charged. $o we went ack to H!t<Kut. +he co%d wa! terrificD the te'0erature dro00ed a! %ow a! 55 degree! (Fahrenheit) e%ow -ero. +he coach'an had to reak the icic%e! off the hor!e!> 'u--%e! a! we drove a%ong. I he%d a ten<'onth!<o%d a #<gir% on '# knee!. 5e had 'ade a fur funne% to 0ut over her head3 arranged !o that !he cou%d reathe through it and at ever# !to0 we re'oved her fearfu%%# fro' her covering!3 to !ee if !he wa! !ti%% a%ive. Nothing untoward ha00ened on that tri03 how ever. 5e didn>t !ta# %ong at H!t<Kut. 1fter a few 'onth!3 the governor gave u! 0er'i!!ion to 'ove a %itt%e farther !outh3 to a 0%ace ca%%ed (erkho%en!k3 where we had friend!.

+he ari!tocrac# a'ong the e/i%e! wa! 'ade u0 of the o%d Po0u%i!t! who had 'ore or %e!! !ucceeded in e!ta %i!hing the' !e%ve! during the %ong #ear! the# had een awa#. +he #oung "ar/i!t! for'ed a di!tinct !ection # the'!e%ve!. It wa! not unti% '# ti'e that the !triking worker!3 often i%%iterate! who # !o'e freak of fate had een !e0arated fro' the great 'a!!3 egan to drift to the north. For the'3 e/i%e 0roved an in va%ua %e !choo% for 0o%itic! and genera% cu%ture. Inte%%ectua% di!agree'ent! were 'ade the 'ore itter # !Cua %e! over 0er!ona% 'atter!3 a! i! natura% where a great 'an# 0eo0%e are forci %# confined. Private3 and e!0ecia%%# ro'antic3 conf%ict! freCuent%# took on the 0ro0ortion! of dra'a. +here were even !uicide! on thi! account. 1t (erkho%en!k3 we took turn! at guarding a !tudent fro' Kiev. I noticed a 0i%e of !hining 'eta% !having! on hi! ta %e. 5e found out %ater that he had 'ade %ead u%%et! for hi! !hotgun. Our guarding hi' wa! in vain. 5ith the arre% of the gun again!t hi! rea!t3 he 0u%%ed the trigger with hi! foot. 5e uried hi' in !i%ence on the hi%%. 1t that ti'e3 we were !ti%% !h# a out 'aking !0eeche!3 a! if there were !o'ething artificia% a out the'. In a%% the ig e/i%e co%onie!3 there were grave! of !uicide!. $o'e of the e/i%e! eca'e a !or ed into the %oca% 0o0u%ation!3 e!0ecia%%# in the town!D other! took to drink. In e/i%e3 a! in 0ri!on3 on%# hard inte%%ectua% work cou%d !ave one. +he "ar/i!t!3 I 'u!t ad'it3 were the on%# one! who did an# of it under the!e condition!. It wa! on the great =ena route3 at that ti'e3 that I 'et 8-er-hin!k#3 Hrit-k#3 and other #oung revo%utionarie! who were de!tined to 0%a# !uch i'0ortant rF%e! in the future. 5e awaited each arriving 0art# eager%#. On a dark !0ring night3 a! we !at around a onfire on the ank! of the =ena3 8-er-hin!k# read one of hi! 0oe'!3 in Po%i!h. Ai! face and voice were eautifu%3 ut the 0oe' wa! a !%ight thing. +he %ife of the 'an wa! to 0rove to e one of the !terne!t of 0oe'!. $oon after our arriva% at H!t<Kut3 I egan to contri ute artic%e! to an Irkut!k new!0a0er3 the Vosto+hnoye &,o:reniye (The (astern !e iew). It wa! a 0rovincia% organ within the %aw3 !tarted # the o%d Po0u%i!t e/i%e!3 ut occa!iona%%# it fe%% into the hand! of "ar/i!t!. I egan a! a vi%%age corre!0ondent3 and I waited an/iou!%# for '# fir!t artic%e to a00ear. +he editor encouraged '# contri ution!3 and I !oon egan to write a out %iterature3 a! we%% a! a out 0u %ic Cue!tion!. One da# when I wa! tr#ing to think of a 0en<na'e3 I o0ened the Ita%ian dictionar# and 9antidoto? wa! the fir!t word that 'et '# e#e. $o for !evera% #ear! I !igned '#!e%f 91ntid Oto3? and @e!ting%# e/0%ained to '# friend! that I wanted to in@ect the "ar/i!t antidote into the %egiti'ate new!0a0er!. 1fter a whi%e3 '# 0a# @u'0ed !udden%# fro' two ko0eck! a %ine to four. It wa! the e!t 0roof of !ucce!!. I wrote a out the 0ea!antr#D a out the ,u!!ian c%a!!ic author!D a out I !en3 Aau0t'ann and Niet-!cheD de "au0a!!ant3 1ndre#ev and 4ork#. I !at u0 night after night !cratching u0 '# 'anu!cri0t!3 a! I tried to find the e/act idea or the right word to e/0re!! it. I wa! eco'ing a writer. $ince 1G9Q3 when I had tried to ward off revo%utionar# idea!3 and the fo%%owing #ear3 when I had done the !a'e to "ar/i!t doctrine! even though I wa! a%read# carr#ing on revo%utionar# work3 I had trave%%ed far. 1t the ti'e of '# e/i%e3 "ar/i!' had definite%# eco'e the a!i! of '# 0hi%o!o0h#. 8uring the e/i%e3 I tried to con!ider3 fro' the new 0oint of view I had acCuired3 the !o<ca%%ed 9eterna%? 0ro %e'! of %ife& %ove3 death3 friend!hi03 o0ti'i!'3 0e!!i'i!'3 and !o forth. In different e0och!3 and in var#ing !ocia% !urrounding!3 'an %ove! and hate! and ho0e! different%#. 7u!t a! the tree feed! it! %eave!3 f%ower!3 and fruit! with the e/tract! a !or ed fro' the !oi% # it! root!3 !o doe! the individua% find food for hi! !enti'ent and idea!3 even the 'o!t

9!u %i'e? one!3 in the econo'ic root! of !ociet#. In '# %iterar# artic%e! written in thi! 0eriod3 I deve%o0ed virtua%%# one the'e on%#& the re%ation! etween the individua% and !ociet#. Not ver# %ong ago3 the!e artic%e! were 0u %i!hed in a !ing%e vo%u'e3 and when I !aw the' co%%ected I rea%i-ed that a%though I 'ight have written the' different%# to<da#3 I !hou%d not have had to change the !u !tance of the'. 1t that ti'e3 officia% or !o<ca%%ed 9%ega%? ,u!!ian "ar/i!' wa! in the throe! of a cri!i!. I cou%d !ee then fro' actua% e/0erience how ra-en%# new !ocia% reCuire'ent! create for the'!e%ve! inte%%ectua% gar'ent! fro' the c%oth of a theor# that wa! intended for !o'ething Cuite different. Hnti% the ninetie!3 the greater 0art of the ,u!!ian inte%%igent!ia wa! !tagnating in Po0u%i!t theorie! with their re@ection of ca0ita%i!t deve%o0'ent and idea%i-ation of 0ea!ant co''una% owner!hi0 of the %and. 1nd ca0ita%i!' in the 'eanti'e wa! ho%ding out to the inte%%igent!ia the 0ro'i!e of a%% !ort! of 'ateria% %e!!ing! and 0o%itica% inf%uence. +he !har0 knife of "ar/i!' wa! the in!tru'ent # which the ourgeoi! inte%%igent!ia cut the Po0u%i!t u' i%ica% cord3 and !evered it!e%f fro' a hated 0a!t. It wa! thi! that accounted for the !wift and victoriou! !0read of "ar/i!' during the %atter #ear! of the %a!t centur#. 1! !oon a! "ar/i!' had acco'0%i!hed thi!3 however3 it egan to irk thi! !a'e inte%%igent!ia. It! dia%ectic! were convenient for de'on!trating the 0rogre!! of ca0ita%i!t 'ethod! of deve%o0'ent3 ut finding that it %ed to a revo%utionar# re@ection of the who%e ca0ita%i!t !#!te'3 the# ad@udged it an i'0edi'ent and dec%ared it out of date. 1t the turn of the centur#3 at the ti'e when I wa! in 0ri!on and e/i%e3 the ,u!!ian inte%%igent!ia wa! going through a 0ha!e of wide<!0read critici!' of "ar/i!'. +he# acce0ted it! hi!torica% @u!tification of ca0ita%i!'3 ut di!carded it! re@ection of ca0ita%i!' # revo%utionar# 'ean!. In thi! rounda out wa# the o%d Po0u%i!t inte%%igent!ia3 with it! archaic !#'0athie!3 wa! !%ow%# eing tran!for'ed into a %i era% ourgeoi! inte%%igent!ia. Euro0ean critici!'! of "ar/i!' now found a read# hearing in ,u!!ia3 irre!0ective of their Cua%it#. It i! enough to !a# that Eduard )ern!tein eca'e one of the 'o!t 0o0u%ar guide! fro' !ocia%i!' to %i era%i!'. +he nor'ative 0hi%o!o0h#3 !houting victor# with 'ore and 'ore a!!urance3 wa! ou!ting the 'ateria%i!t dia%ectic!. )ourgeoi! 0u %ic o0inion3 in it! for'ative !tage!3 needed inf%e/i %e nor'!3 not on%# to 0rotect it again!t the t#rannie! of the autocratic ureaucrac#3 ut again!t the wi%d revo%utioni!' of the 'a!!e!. Kant3 a%though he overthrew Aege%3 did not in turn ho%d hi! 0o!ition ver# %ong. ,u!!ian %i era%i!' ca'e ver# %ate3 and fro' the fir!t %ived on vo%canic !oi%. +he categorica% i'0erative3 it found3 gave it too a !tract and unre%ia %e a !ecurit#. "uch !tronger 'ea!ure! were needed to re!i!t the revo%utionar# 'a!!e!. +he tran!cendenta% idea%i!t! eca'e orthodo/ *hri!tian!. )u%gakov3 a 0rofe!!or of 0o%itica% econo'#3 egan with a revi!ion of "ar/i!' on the agrarian Cue!tion3 went on to idea%i!'3 and ended # eco'ing a 0rie!t. )ut thi! %a!t !tage wa! not reached unti% !o'e #ear! %ater. In the ear%# #ear! of thi! centur#3 ,u!!ia wa! a va!t %a orator# of !ocia% thinking. "# work on the hi!tor# of free'a!onr# had fortified 'e in a rea%i-ation of the !u ordinate 0%ace of idea! in the hi!torica% 0roce!!. 9Idea! do not dro0 fro' the !k#3? I re0eated after o%d =a rio%a. Now it wa! no %onger a Cue!tion of 0ure !cientific !tud#3 ut of the choice of a 0o%itica% 0ath. +he revi!ion of "ar/i!' that wa! going on in a%% direction! he%0ed 'e a! it did 'an# another #oung "ar/i!t B it

he%0ed u! to 'ake u0 our 'ind! and !har0en our wea0on!. 5e needed "ar/i!'3 not on%# to rid our!e%ve! of Po0u%i!'3 which touched u! ut !%ight%#3 ut actua%%# to egin a !tout war again!t ca0ita%i!' in it! own territor#. +he !trugg%e! again!t the ,evi!ioni!t! toughened u! 0o%itica%%#3 a! we%% a! in the fie%d of theor#. 5e were eco'ing 0ro%etarian revo%utionarie!. 8uring thi! !a'e 0eriod3 we 'et with a great dea% of critici!' fro' our %eft. In one of the northern co%onie! B I think it wa! (i%u#!k B %ived an e/i%e ca%%ed "akhai!k#3 who!e na'e !oon eca'e genera%%# known. "akhai!k# egan a! a critic of $ocia% 8e'ocratic o00ortuni!'. Ai! fir!t hectogra0hed e!!a#3 devoted to an e/0o!ure of the o00ortuni!' of the 4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocrac#3 had a great vogue a'ong the e/i%e!. Ai! !econd e!!a# critici!ed the econo'ic !#!te' of "ar/ and ended with the a'a-ing conc%u!ion that $ocia%i!' i! a !ocia% order a!ed on the e/0%oitation of the worker! # a 0rofe!!iona% inte%%igent!ia. +he third e!!a# advocated the re@ection of 0o%itica% !trugg%e3 in the !0irit of anarchi!t !#ndica%i!'. For !evera% 'onth!3 the work of "akhai!k# he%d fir!t 0%ace in the intere!t of the =ena e/i%e!. It gave 'e a 0owerfu% inocu%ation again!t anarchi!'3 a theor# ver# !wee0ing in it! ver a% negation!3 ut %ife%e!! and coward%# in it! 0ractica% conc%u!ion!. +he fir!t ti'e I ever 'et a %iving anarchi!t wa! in the "o!cow tran!fer 0ri!on. Ae wa! a vi%%age !choo%<teacher3 =u-in3 a 'an re!erved and unco''unicative3 even crue%. In 0ri!on he a%wa#! 0referred to e with the cri'ina%! and wou%d %i!ten intent%# to their ta%e! of ro er# and 'urder. Ae avoided di!cu!!ion! of theor#. )ut once when I 0re!!ed hi' to te%% 'e how rai%wa#! wou%d e 'anaged # autono'ou! co''unitie!3 he an!wered& 95h# the he%% !hou%d I want to trave% on rai% wa#! under anarchi!'E? +hat an!wer wa! enough for 'e. =u-in tried to win the worker! over3 and we carried on a concea%ed warfare which wa! not devoid of ho!ti%it#. 5e 'ade the @ourne# to $i eria together. 8uring the high f%ood! on the river3 =u-in decided to cro!! the =ena in a oat. Ae wa! not Cuite !o er and cha%%enged 'e to go with hi'. I agreed. =oo!e ti' er and dead ani'a%! were f%oating on the !urface of the !wo%%en riverD there were 'an# whir%0oo%!. 5e 'ade the cro!!ing !afe%#3 though not without e/citing 'o'ent!. =u-in gave 'e a !ort of ver a% te!ti'onia%& a 9good co'rade3? or !o'ething to that effect3 and we eca'e friend%ier. $oon after3 however3 he wa! tran!ferred to a 0%ace farther north. 1 few 'onth! %ater he !ta ed the %oca% 0o%ice<chief with a knife. +he 0o%ice'an wa! not a ad !ort of fe%%ow and the wound did not 0rove dangerou!. 1t the tria% =u-in dec%ared that he had nothing again!t the 'an 0er!ona%%#3 ut that he wanted3 through hi'3 to !trike at the t#rann# of the !tate. Ae wa! !entenced to hard<%a or. 5hi%e hot di!cu!!ion! were !eething in the far<f%ung3 !now<covered $i erian e/i%e co%onie! B di!cu!!ion! of !uch thing! a! the differentiation of the ,u!!ian 0ea!antr#3 the Eng%i!h trade!< union!3 the re%ation!hi0 etween the categorica% i'0erative and the c%a!! intere!t!3 and etween "ar/i!' and 8arwini!' B a !trugg%e of a !0ecia% !ort wa! taking 0%ace in govern'ent !0here!. In Fe ruar#3 19213 the Ao%# $#nod e/co''unicated =eo +o%!to#. +he edict wa! 0u %i!hed in a%% the 0a0er!. +o%!to# wa! accu!ed of !i/ cri'e!&
1. He rejects the personal, living God, glorified in the Holy Trinity. 2. He denies Christ as the God-man risen from the dead.

. He denies the !mmac"late Conception and the virginity, #efore and after the #irth, of the God-mother. $. He does not recogni%e life after death and retri#"tion for sins. &. He rejects the #enefaction of the Holy Ghost. '. He moc(s at the sacrament of the )"charist.

+he gra#< earded 'etro0o%itan!3 Po edono!t-ev3 who wa! in!0iring the'3 and a%% the other 0i%%ar! of the !tate who %ooked u0on u! revo%utionarie! a! ha%f<'ad fanatic!3 not to !a# cri'ina%! B wherea! the#3 in their own e#e!3 were the re0re!entative! of !o er thought a!ed on the hi!torica% e/0erience of 'an B it wa! the!e 0eo0%e who de'anded that the great arti!t<rea%i!t !u !cri e to the faith in the I''acu%ate *once0tion3 and in the tran!u !tantiation of the Ao%# 4ho!t through wafer!. 5e read the %i!t of +o%!to#>! here!ie! over and over again3 each ti'e with fre!h a!toni!h'ent3 and !aid to our !e%ve!& No3 it i! we who re!t on the e/0erience of 'an3 it i! we who re0re!ent the future3 whi%e tho!e 'en at the to0 are not 'ere%# cri'ina%! ut 'aniac! a! we%%. 5e were a !o%ute%# !ure that we wou%d get the etter of that %unatic a!#%u'. +he o%d !tructure of the !tate wa! cracking a%% through it! foundation!. +he !tudent! were !ti%% the ring%eader! in the !trugg%e3 and in their i'0atience egan to e'0%o# the 'ethod! of terrori!'. 1fter the !hot! fired # Kar0ovich and )a%'a!hov L1M3 a%% the e/i%e! were a! 'uch arou!ed a! if the# had heard the ug%e<ca%% of a%ar'. 1rgu'ent! a out the u!e of terrori!t 'ethod! egan. 1fter individua% vaci%%ation!3 the "ar/i!t !ection of the e/i%ed went on record again!t terrori!'. +he che'i!tr# of high e/0%o!ive! cannot take the 0%ace of 'a!! action3 we !aid. Individua%! 'a# e de!tro#ed in a heroic !trugg%e3 ut that wi%% not rou!e the working c%a!! to action. Our ta!k i! not the a!!a!!ination of the *-ar>! 'ini!ter!3 ut the revo%utionar# overthrow of *-ari!'. +hi! i! where the %ine wa! drawn etween the $ocia% 8e'ocrat! and the $ocia%i!t<,evo%utioni!t!. 5hi%e '# theoretica% view! were for'ed in 0ri!on3 '# 0o%itica% !e%f<deter'ination wa! achieved in e/i%e. +wo #ear! had 0a!!ed in thi! wa#3 and 'uch water had f%owed under the ridge! of $t. Peter! urg3 "o!cow3 and 5ar !aw. 1 'ove'ent egun underground wa! now wa%king the !treet! of the citie!. In !o'e di!trict!3 the 0ea!antr# wa! eginning to !tir. $ocia% 8e'ocratic organi-ation! !0rang u0 even in $i eria3 a%ong the %ine of the +ran!<$i erian rai%wa#. +he# got in touch with 'e3 and I wrote 0roc%a'ation! and %eaf%et! for the'. 1fter a three #ear!> interva%3 I wa! re@oining the rank! for active !trugg%e. +he e/i%e! were no %onger wi%%ing to !ta# in their 0%ace! of confine'ent3 and there wa! an e0ide'ic of e!ca0e!. 5e had to arrange a !#!te' of rotation. In a%'o!t ever# vi%%age there were individua% 0ea!ant! who a! #outh! had co'e under the inf%uence of the o%der generation of revo%utionarie!. +he# wou%d carr# the 90o%itica%!? awa# !ecret%# in oat!3 in cart!3 or on !%edge!3 and 0a!! the' a%ong fro' one to another. +he 0o%ice in $i eria were a! he%0%e!! a! we were. +he va!tne!! of the countr# wa! an a%%#3 ut an ene'# a! we%%. It wa! ver# hard to catch a runawa#3 ut the chance! were that he wou%d e drowned in the river or fro-en to death in the 0ri'eva% fore!t!.

+he revo%utionar# 'ove'ent had !0read far and wide3 ut it !ti%% %acked unit#. Ever# di!trict and ever# town wa! carr#ing on it! individua% !trugg%e. *-ari!' had the inva%ua %e ad vantage of concerted action. +he nece!!it# for creating a centra%i-ed 0art# wa! engaging the 'ind! of 'an# revo%utionarie!. I devoted an e!!a# to thi!3 and co0ie! of it were circu%ated throughout the co%onie!D it wa! di!cu!!ed with avidit#. It !ee'ed to u! that our fe%%ow $ocia% 8e'ocrat! in ,u!!ia and a road were not giving thi! Cue!tion enough thought. )ut the# did think and act. In the !u''er of 192I3 I received3 # wa# of Irkut!k3 a nu' er of ook! in the inding of which were concea%ed the %ate!t 0u %ication! fro' a road3 0rinted on e/tre'e%# fine 0a0er. 5e %earned fro' the' that there wa! a "ar/ian new!0a0er 0u %i!hed a road3 the 0skra3 which had a! it! o @ect the creation of a centra%i-ed organi-ation of 0rofe!!iona% revo%utionarie! who wou%d e ound together # the iron di!ci0%ine of action. 1 ook # =enin a%!o reached u!3 a ook 0u %i!hed in 4eneva3 entit%ed *hat 0s to 8e Done= which dea%t e/c%u!ive%# with the !a'e 0ro %e'. "# hand<written e!!a#!3 new!0a0er artic%e!3 and 0roc%a'ation! for the $i erian Hnion i''ediate%# %ooked !'a%% and 0rovincia% to 'e in the face of the new and tre'endou! ta!k which confronted u!. I had to %ook for another fie%d of activit#. I had to e!ca0e fro' e/i%e. 1t that ti'e we a%read# had two daughter!. +he #ounger wa! four 'onth! o%d. =ife under condition! in $i eria wa! not ea!#3 and '# e!ca0e wou%d 0%ace a dou %e urden on the !hou%der! of 1%e/andra =vovna. )ut !he 'et thi! o @ection with the two word!& 9You 'u!t.? 8ut# to the revo%ution over!hadowed ever#thing e%!e for her3 0er!ona% con!ideration! e!0ecia%%#. $he wa! the fir!t to roach the idea of '# e!ca0e when we rea%i-ed the great new ta!k!. $he ru!hed awa# a%% '# dou t!. For !evera% da#! after I had e!ca0ed3 !he concea%ed '# a !ence fro' the 0o%ice. Fro' a road3 I cou%d hard%# kee0 u0 a corre!0ondence with her. +hen !he wa! e/i%ed for a !econd ti'eD after thi! we 'et on%# occa!iona%%#. =ife !e0arated u!3 ut nothing cou%d de!tro# our friend!hi0 and our inte%%ectua% kin!hi0.

'otes
1. Kar0ovich !hot )ogo%#e0ov3 "ini!ter of Education. )a%'a!hov !hot $i0#agin3 "ini!ter of the Interior3 in 192I. B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <

M4 F0!)T ()%AP(

1utu'n wa! drawing near3 with it! threat of i'0a!!a %e road!. +o !0eed '# e!ca0e3 we decided to ki%% two ird! with one !tone. 1 0ea!ant friend agreed to drive 'e out of (erkho%en!k3 together with E.4.3 a wo'an tran!%ator of "ar/. 1t night3 in the fie%d!3 he hid u! under ha# and 'atting in hi! cart3 a! if we were 'ere cargo. 1t the !a'e ti'e3 to ward off the !u!0icion! of the 0o%ice3 the# ke0t a du''# of a !u00o!ed%# !ick 'an in the ed in '# hou!e for a few da#!. +he driver !0ed on in the $i erian fa!hion3 'aking a! 'uch a! twent# (ersts an hour. I counted a%% the u'0! with '# ack3 to the acco'0ani'ent of the groan! of '# co'0anion. 8uring the tri0 the hor!e! were changed twice. )efore we reached the rai%wa#3 '# co'0anion and I went our !e0arate wa#!3 !o that each of u! wou%d not have to !uffer the 'i!ha0! and ri!k! incurred # the other. I got into the rai%wa#<carriage in !afet#. +here '# friend! fro' Irkut!k 0rovided 'e with a trave%%ing<ca!e fi%%ed with !tarched !hirt!3 necktie! and other attri ute! of civi%i-ation. In '# hand!3 I had a co0# of the &liad in the ,u!!ian he/a'eter of 4n#editchD in '# 0ocket3 a 0a!!0ort 'ade out in the na'e of +rot!k#3 which I wrote in it at rando'3 without even i'agining that it wou%d eco'e '# na'e for the re!t of '# %ife. I wa! fo%%owing the $i erian %ine toward the 5e!t. +he !tation 0o%ice %et 'e 0a!! with indifference. 1t the !tation! a%ong the wa# the ta%% $i erian wo'en !o%d roa!t chicken! and !uck%ing 0ig!3 ott%ed 'i%k and great hea0! of read. Ever# one of the !tation! wa! %ike an e/hi ition of $i erian 0roduce. +hroughout the @ourne#3 the entire car fu%% of 0a!!enger! drank tea and ate chea0 $i erian un!. I read the he/a'eter and drea'ed of the %ife a road. +he e!ca0e 0roved to e Cuite without ro'antic g%a'ourD it di!!o%ved into nothing ut an end%e!! drinking of tea. I 'ade a ha%t at $a'ara3 where the interior genera% !taff of the 0skra3 a! di!tinct fro' the foreign< N'igrN !taff3 wa! concentrated. 1t the head of it wa! a certain K%er3 the na'e which the engineer Kr-hi-hanov!k#3 who i! the 0re!ent chair'an of the $tate P%anning *o''ittee3 had a!!u'ed a! a di!gui!e. Ae and hi! wife were friend! of =enin3 and had een a!!ociated with hi' in the $ocia% 8e'ocratic work in $t. Peter! urg in the #ear! of 1G9T<53 and in the e/i%e in $i eria. 1fter the defeat of the revo%ution in 19253 K%er3 together with 'an# other thou!and! of revo%utioni!t!3 withdrew fro' the 0art#3 and a! an engineer achieved an i'0ortant 0%ace in the indu!tria% wor%d. +he revo%utionarie!3 who continued to work in !ecret3 co'0%ained that he refu!ed to give !uch he%0 a! even the %i era%! had given ear%ier. 1fter an interva% of fro' ten to twe%ve #ear!3 Kr-hi-hanov!k# re@oined the 0art#3 after it had a%read# co'e into 0ower. +hi! wa! the cour!e of 'an# of the inte%%igent!ia who are the ack one of $ta%in>! regi'e to<da#. In $a'ara3 I @oined B officia%%#3 a! it were B the 0skra organi-ation under the na'e of Pero (0en)3 a!!igned to 'e # K%er a! a tri ute to '# !ucce!!e! a! a @ourna%i!t in $i eria. +he organi-ation wa! ui%ding u0 the 0art# a%% over again. +he fir!t 0art# congre!!3 he%d in "in!k in 1G9G3 had fai%ed to e!ta %i!h a centra%i-ed 0art#. 5ho%e!a%e arre!t! de!tro#ed an inci0ient organi-ation which wa! not rooted fir'%# enough throughout the countr#. 1fter thi!3 the revo%utionar# 'ove'ent continued to grow in !cattered centre!3 'aintaining it! 0rovincia% character. $i'u%taneou!%#3 it! inte%%ectua% %eve% !howed !ign! of %owering. +he $ocia% 8e'ocrat!3 in their effort to win the 'a!!e!3 %et their 0o%itica% !%ogan! recede into the ackground. 1nd thu! the !o< ca%%ed 9Econo'ic? !choo% of $ocia% 8e'ocratic 0o%ic# wa! evo%ved. It drew it! !trength fro' the indu!tria% oo' and the 0re0onderance of !trike!. +oward the end of the centur#3 a cri!i! deve%o0ed that accentuated the antagoni!'! a%% over the countr#3 and gave the 0o%itica% 'ove'ent a !trong i'0etu!. +he 0skra %aunched a 'i%itant ca'0aign again!t the 0rovincia%

9Econo'i!t!3? and advocated a centra%i-ed revo%utionar# 0art#. +he genera% !taff of the 0skra wa! e!ta %i!hed a road3 !o that the organi-ation3 which wa! eing carefu%%# recruited fro' a'ong the !o<ca%%ed 90rofe!!iona%? revo%utionarie!3 wou%d e a!!ured of an ideo%ogica% !ta i%it#3 and wou%d e ound together # unit# in theor# and in 0ractica% 'ethod. 1t the !a'e ti'e3 'o!t of the adherent! of the 0skra !ti%% e%onged to the inte%%igent!ia. +he# fought for the contro% over %oca% $ocia% 8e'ocratic co''ittee!3 and for a 0art# congre!! which wou%d in!ure a victor# for the idea! and 'ethod! of the 0skra. +hi! wa! rea%%# a draft out%ine of the revo%utionar# organi-ation3 which3 a! it deve%o0ed and hardened3 advanced and retreated3 eca'e 'ore and 'ore c%o!e%# ound to the 'a!!e! of worker!3 !et efore the' ever 'ore far<reaching ta!k!3 and fifteen #ear! %ater overthrew the bourgeoisie and a!!u'ed 0ower. 1t the reCue!t of the $a'ara organi-ation3 I vi!ited Kharkoff3 Po%tava and Kiev3 to 'eet a nu' er of revo%utionarie! who had a%read# @oined the 0skra or who had !ti%% to e won over. I returned to $a'ara with %itt%e acco'0%i!hedD the connection! with the $outh were !ti%% ver# ineffectua%D in Kharkoff the addre!! given 'e 0roved fa%!e3 and in Po%tava I ran into a !ort of %oca% 0atrioti!'. It wa! o viou! that a !ing%e tri0 to the 0rovince! cou%d achieve nothingD it wa! 0er!i!tent work that wa! needed. "eanwhi%e =enin3 with who' the $a'ara ureau ke0t u0 a %ive%# corre!0ondence3 urged 'e to ha!ten '# de0arture for a road. K%er !u00%ied 'e with the 'one# for the tri03 and the nece!!ar# infor'ation for cro!!ing the 1u!trian frontier near Ka'enet-<Podo%!k. 1 who%e train of adventure! 'ore a'u!ing than tragic egan at the !tation at $a'ara. +o avoid 'eeting the !tation<0o%ice a !econd ti'e3 I decided to oard the train at the %a!t 0o!!i %e 'o'ent. "# !eat wa! to e he%d for 'e and '# trave%%ing< ag rought to the rai%wa#<carriage # a !tudent na'ed $o%ov#ov3 who i! toda# one of the head! of the Oi% $#ndicate. I wa! wa%king 0eacefu%%# ack and forth in the fie%d far awa# fro' the !tation3 kee0ing '# e#e on the c%ock3 when I !udden%# heard the !econd e%%. I rea%i-ed that I had een given the wrong ti'e for the de0arture of the train3 and da!hed to the !tation for a%% I wa! worth. $o%ov#ov3 who had een waiting for 'e in the car3 a! he had 0ro'i!ed3 and had to @u'0 off the train after it had egun to 'ove3 wa! !tanding !urrounded # the !tation<0o%ice and officia%!. +he !ight of a reath%e!! 'an arriving 0o!t<ha!te after the train had !tarted attracted genera% attention. +he 0o%ice threatened to take action again!t $o%ov#ov3 ut it on%# ended in !arca!tic @oke! at our e/0en!e. I reached the frontier -one without an# trou %e. 1t the %a!t !tation the 0o%ice'an a!ked for '# 0a!!0ort. I wa! genuine%# !ur0ri!ed when he found the 0a0er that I had fa ricated '#!e%f 0erfect%# in order. 1 o# who wa! !tud#ing at the gy#nasiu# had charge of !'ugg%ing 'e acro!! the frontier. Ae i! now a 0ro'inent che'i!t at the head of one of the !cience in!titute! of the $oviet ,e0u %ic. In hi! 0o%itica% view! he favored the $ocia%i!t<,evo%utioni!t!. 5hen he heard that I e%onged to the 0skra organi-ation3 he !aid& 98o #ou know that 0skra3 in it! %a!t i!!ue!3 ha! een engaging in !ha'efu% 0o%e'ic! again!t terrori!'E? I wa! a out to egin a theoretica% di!cu!!ion when the #oung fe%%ow added with a great !how of te'0er& 9I won>t conduct #ou acro!! the frontier.? +hi! argu'ent a'a-ed 'e ecau!e it wa! !o une/0ected. 1nd #et it wa! 0erfect%# %egiti'ate. Fifteen #ear! %ater we had to fight the 0ower of the $ocia%i!t<,evo%utioni!t! with ar'! in hand. 1t that 'o'ent3 however3 I wa! not intere!ted in hi!torica% 0ro!0ect!. I argued that it wa! not fair to 0uni!h 'e for an artic%e in the 0skra3 and

fina%%# dec%ared that I wou%d not udge unti% I had o tained a guide. +he o# re%ented. 95e%%3? he !aid3 9I wi%% he%0 #ou. )ut te%% the' over there that thi! i! the %a!t ti'e.? +he fe%%ow 0ut 'e u0 for the night in the e'0t# hou!e of a co''ercia% trave%%er who wa! to return the ne/t da#. I re'e' er vague%# that I had to 'ake '# wa# into the %ocked hou!e through a window. 1t night I wa! awakened !udden%# # a f%a!h of %ight. 1 !trange %itt%e 'an in a ow%er hat wa! ending over 'e with a cand%e in one hand and a !tick in the other. Fro' the cei%ing3 a huge !hadow of a 'an wa! craw%ing toward 'e. 95ho are #ouE? I a!ked indignant%#. 9I %ike thatJ? an!wered the !tranger. 9Ae i! %#ing in '# ed and a!k! 'e who I a'J? O viou!%#3 thi! wa! the owner of the hou!e. "# atte'0t to e/0%ain to hi' that he wa!n>t !u00o!ed to return unti% the ne/t da# 'ade not the !%ighte!t i'0re!!ion on hi'. 9I know when I a' !u00o!ed to return3? he re@oined3 not unrea!ona %#. +he !ituation wa! getting co'0%icated. 9I under!tand3? e/c%ai'ed the ho!t. 9+hi! i! one of 1%e/ander>! %itt%e @oke!. )ut I !ha%% ta%k it over with hi' to< 'orrow.? I readi%# chi'ed in with hi! ha00# thought that the cau!e of a%% the trou %e wa! the a !ent 1%e/ander. I !0ent the re!t of the night with the co''ercia% trave%%er3 who even graciou!%# treated 'e to tea. Ne/t 'orning3 the !tudent at the gy#nasiu#3 after a !tor'# ti'e of e/0%aining ever#thing to '# ho!t3 handed 'e over to the !'ugg%er! of the vi%%age of )rod#. I whi%ed awa# the da# in a arn3 whi%e it! owner3 a Hkrainian 0ea!ant3 fed 'e %i era%%# on water'e%on!. 1t night3 in a rain!tor'3 he %ed 'e acro!! the frontier. For a %ong ti'e we had to wade in the dark3 !tu' %ing ever# now and then. 9Now3 get on '# ack3? !aid '# guide3 9there i! water farther on.? I 0rote!ted. 9You can>t 0o!!i %# a00ear on the other !ide a%% wet3? he in!i!ted. $o I had to continue the @ourne# on the 'an>! ack3 which didn>t !ave 'e3 however3 fro' getting water in '# !hoe!. 1 out a Cuarter of an hour %ater we were dr#ing our!e%ve! out in a 7ewi!h hut in the 1u!trian !ection of )rod#. +he 0eo0%e there infor'ed 'e that the guide had 0ur0o!e%# %ed 'e into dee0 water to get 'ore 'one# fro' 'e. For hi! 0art3 the Hkrainian3 a! he wa! taking hi! %eave3 warned 'e in a friend%# wa# again!t the 7ew!3 who a%wa#! %ike to 'ake one 0a# three ti'e! 'ore than one owe! the'. 1nd3 indeed3 '# re!ource! were !wift%# 'e%ting awa#. I !ti%% had another eight ki%o'etre! to 'ake efore I cou%d reach the rai%wa#<!tation. For one or two ki%o'etre! a%ong the frontier3 on a road whi00ed into 'ud # the rain3 unti% we reached the 'ain road3 the going wa! not on%# difficu%t3 ut dangerou! a! we%%. I wa! riding in a %itt%e two<whee%ed cart with an o%d 7ewi!h work'an for a driver. 9One da# I !ha%% %o!e '# %ife in thi! u!ine!!3? he 'uttered. 95h#E? 9)ecau!e !o%dier! kee0 ca%%ing out and if #ou don>t an!wer the'3 the# !hoot. You can !ee their %ight over there. Fortunate%#3 thi! i! a fine night.? +he night wa! fine indeedJ 1 cutting and i'0enetra %e autu'n darkne!!3 an inter'ina %e rain hitting one in the face3 and 'ud !%o!hing under the hor!e>! hoof!. 5e were going u0 hi%%D the whee%! ke0t !%i00ingD the o%d 'an wa! ca@o%ing the hor!e in a gruff ha%f<whi!0erD the whee%! !ank3 the %ight cart ti%ted 'ore and 'ore3 and !udden%# went right over. +he Octo er 'ud wa!

co%d and dee0. I fe%% down f%at3 !inking ha%f into it. 1nd to to0 it a%%3 I %o!t '# g%a!!e!. )ut the 'o!t awfu% thing wa! that @u!t after we had fa%%en3 there wa! a terri %e 0iercing cr#3 right where we were3 at our ver# !ide3 a cr# of de!0air3 i'0%oring he%0 B a '#!tic a00ea% to heaven. It wa! e#ond the 0ower of rea!on to !a#3 in that dark3 wet night3 to who' that '#!teriou! voice e%onged B a voice !o e/0re!!ive and #et not hu'an. 9I te%% #ou3 he wi%% ruin u!3? 'uttered the o%d 'an in de!0air. 9Ae wi%% ruin u! 95ho i! itE? I a!ked3 a%'o!t afraid to reathe. 9It>! the roo!ter3 cur!e hi'3 the roo!ter that '# 'i!tre!! gave 'e to take to the ra i to have ki%%ed for $aturda#.? +he 0enetrating !hriek! continued at regu%ar interva%!. 9Ae wi%% ruin u!. It>! on%# two hundred !te0! to the 0o!tD the !o%dier! wi%% ru!h out in a 'o'ent.? 9$trang%e hi'3? I hi!!ed in a rage. 95hoE +he roo!terE 5here a' I to find hi'E Ae 'u!t have got 0inned under !o'ethingJ? 5e oth craw%ed around in the dark and gru ed in the 'ud with our hand!3 whi%e the rain %a!hed u! fro' a ove. 5e cur!ed the roo!ter and our fate. Fina%%#3 the o%d 'an freed the 'i!era %e !ufferer fro' under '# %anket3 and the gratefu% ird i''ediate%# !to00ed cr#ing. 5e %ifted the cart together3 and continued our @ourne#. 1t the !tation3 I !0ent three hour! dr#ing out and c%eaning '#!e%f u0 efore the train arrived. 1fter I had changed '# 'one#3 I found that I !hou%dn>t have enough to reach '# de!tination3 which wa! 6urich3 where I wa! to 0re!ent '#!e%f to 1/e%rod. I ought a ticket to (ienna3 and decided that there I wou%d arrange for the ne/t %a0. (ienna !ur0ri!ed 'e 'o!t of a%% # the fact that I cou%d under!tand no one3 de!0ite '# !tud# of 4er'an at !choo%. "o!t of the 0a!!er!< # found 'e eCua%%# difficu%t. Neverthe%e!!3 I 'anaged fina%%# to te%% an o%d 'an in a red ca0 that I wanted to get to the office! of the Ar,eiter>;eit"n#. I had 'ade u0 '# 'ind that I wou%d e/0%ain to no one %e!! than (ictor 1d%er3 the %eader of the 1u!trian $ocia% 8e'ocrac#3 that the intere!t! of the ,u!!ian revo%ution de'anded '# i''ediate 0re!ence in 6urich. +he guide agreed to take 'e there. 5e wa%ked for an hour. +hen we found out that two #ear! ear%ier the 0a0er had 'oved it! office! to a new addre!!. 5e wa%ked for another ha%f<hour. +hen the door'an infor'ed u! that vi!iting hour! were over. I had no 'one# to 0a# the guide3 I wa! hungr#3 and what wa! 'o!t i'0ortant of a%%3 I had to get to 6urich. 1 gent%e'an who didn>t %ook too a'ia %e wa! co'ing down the !te0!. I addre!!ed '#!e%f to hi' with a Cuer# a out 1d%er. 98o #ou know what da# it i!E? he a!ked 'e !tern%#. I did not knowD in the train3 in the cart3 in the hou!e of the co''ercia% trave%%er3 in the Hkrainian>! arn3 in the 'idnight !trugg%e with the roo!ter3 I had %o!t track of ti'e. 9+o<da# i! $unda#3? the o%d gent%e'an announced3 and tried to 0a!! # 'e.

9No 'atter B I want to !ee 1d%er.? 1t thi!3 '# interrogator an!wered 'e in the voice of one giving order! to a atta%ion of troo0! in a !tor'& 9I a' te%%ing #ou3 8r. 1d%er cannot e !een on $unda#!.? 9)ut I have i'0ortant u!ine!! with hi'3? I 0er!i!ted. 9Even if #our u!ine!! were ten ti'e! a! i'0ortant B do #ou under!tandE? It wa! Frit- 1u!ter%it- hi'!e%f !0eaking3 the terror of hi! office3 a 'an who!e conver!ation3 a! Augo wou%d have !aid3 con!i!ted on%# of %ightning. 9Even if #ou had rought the new! B #ou hear 'eE B that #our *-ar had een a!!a!!inated3 that a revo%ution had roken out in #our countr# B do #ou hearE B even thi! wou%d not give #ou the right to di!tur the 8octor>! $unda# re!t.? I wa! eginning to e i'0re!!ed # the thunder! of the gent%e'an>! voice. 1%% the !a'e I thought he wa! ta%king non!en!e. It wa! inconceiva %e that a $unda#>! re!t !hou%d e rated a ove the de'and! of revo%ution. I decided not to give in. I had to get to 6urich. +he editor! of the 0skra were waiting for 'e. )e!ide!3 I had e!ca0ed fro' $i eria B !ure%# that wa! of !o'e i'0ortance. Fina%%#3 # !tanding at the otto' of the !tairca!e and arring the !tern gent%e'an>! wa#3 I got what I wanted. 1u!ter%it- gave 'e the addre!!. 1cco'0anied # the !a'e guide3 I went to 1d%er>! hou!e. 1 !hort 'an3 with a 0ronounced !too03 a%'o!t a hunch3 and with !wo%%en e#e! in a tired face3 ca'e out to !ee 'e. 1t the ti'e there wa! a =andtag e%ection in (ienna. 1d%er had 'ade !0eeche! at !evera% 'eeting! the da# efore3 and during the night had written hi! artic%e! and e/hortation!. I %earned a%% thi! a Cuarter of an hour %ater fro' hi! daughter<in<%aw. 9Pardon 'e for di!tur ing #our $unda# re!t3 8octor.? 94o on3 go on3? he !aid with !ee'ing !ternne!!3 ut in a tone that did not frighten ut encouraged 'e in!tead. One cou%d !ee inte%%igence e'anating fro' each wrink%e of the 'an. 9I a' ,u!!ian.? 9You need not te%% 'e that3 I have had enough ti'e to gue!! it.? I to%d the 8octor3 whi%e he !tudied 'e with !wift g%ance!3 a out '# conver!ation at the entrance to hi! office. 9I! that !oE 8id the# te%% #ou thatE 5ho cou%d it have eenE 1 ta%% 'anE $hout!E Oh3 that wa! 1u!ter%it-. You !aid he !houtedE Oh3 #e!3 it wa! 1u!ter%it-. 8on>t take it too !eriou!%#. If #ou ever ring new! of a revo%ution in ,u!!ia3 #ou 'a# ring '# e%%3 even at night. Kat#a3 Kat#a3? he ca%%ed out !udden%#. Ai! ,u!!ian daughter<in<%aw ca'e out. 9Now we !ha%% get a%ong etter3? he !aid3 %eaving u!. "# further trave% wa! a!!ured.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <0

A' ?M07!? F&! T3( F0!)T T0M(

I arrived in =ondon fro' 6urich # wa# of Pari!3 in the autu'n of 192I. I think it wa! in Octo er3 ear%# in the 'orning3 when a ca 3 engaged after I had re!orted to a%% !ort! of 0anto'i'e3 drove 'e to the addre!! written on a !%i0 of 0a0er. "# de!tination wa! =enin>! hou!e. I had een in!tructed efore I %eft 6urich to knock on the door three ti'e!. +he door wa! o0ened # Nad#e-hda Kon!tantinovna3 who had 0ro a %# een wakened # '# knocking. It wa! ear%#3 and an# one u!ed to civi%i-ed wa#! wou%d have waited Cuiet%# at the !tation for an hour or two3 in!tead of knocking at the door of a !trange hou!e at !uch an unearth%# hour. )ut I wa! !ti%% i'0e%%ed # the force that had !et 'e off on '# @ourne# fro' (erkho%en!k. I had di!tur ed 1/e%rod in 6urich in the !a'e ar arou! wa#3 a%though that wa! in the 'idd%e of the night3 in!tead of at dawn. =enin wa! !ti%% in ed3 and the kind%# e/0re!!ion of hi! face wa! tinged with a @u!tifia %e a'a-e'ent. $uch wa! the !etting for our fir!t 'eeting and conver!ation. )oth (%adi'ir I%#ich L1M and Nad#e-hda Kon!tantinovna a%read# knew of 'e fro' K%er>! %etter3 and had een waiting for 'e. I wa! greeted with& 9+he Pero ha! arrivedJ? 1t once I un%oaded '# 'ode!t %i!t of i'0re!!ion! of ,u!!ia& the connection! in the $outh are ad3 the !ecret 0skra addre!! in Kharkov i! wrong3 the editor! of the )o"thern *orker o00o!e a'a%ga'ation3 the cro!!ing at the 1u!trian frontier i! in the hand! of a !tudent at the gy#nasiu# who refu!e! he%0 to fo%%ower! of the 0skra. +he fact! in the'!e%ve! were not of a !ort to fi%% one with 'uch ho0e3 ut there wa! faith enough to 'ake u0 for it3 and to !0are. Either the !a'e or the ne/t 'orning3 (%adi'ir I%#ich and I went for a %ong wa%k around =ondon. Fro' a ridge3 =enin 0ointed out 5e!t'in!ter and !o'e other fa'ou! ui%ding!. I don>t re'e' er the e/act word! he u!ed3 ut what he con ve#ed wa!& 9+hi! i! their fa'ou! 5e!t'in!ter3? and 9their? referred of cour!e not to the Eng%i!h ut to the ru%ing c%a!!e!. +hi! i'0%ication3 which wa! not in the %ea!t e'0ha!i-ed3 ut co'ing a! it did fro' the ver# inner'o!t de0th! of the 'an3 and e/0re!!ed 'ore # the tone of hi! voice than # an#thing e%!e3 wa! a%wa#! 0re!ent3 whether =enin wa! !0eaking of the trea!ure! of cu%ture3 of new achieve'ent!3 of the wea%th of ook! in the )riti!h "u!eu'3 of the infor'ation of the %arger Euro0ean new!0a0er!3 or3 #ear! %ater3 of 4er'an arti%%er# or French aviation. +he# know thi! or the# have that3 the# have 'ade thi! or achieved that B ut what ene'ie! the# areJ +o hi! e#e!3 the invi!i %e !hadow of the ru%ing c%a!!e! a%wa#! over%a# the who%e of hu'an cu%ture B a !hadow that wa! a! rea% to hi' a! da#%ight. +he architecture of =ondon !carce%# attracted '# attention at that ti'e. +ran!ferred odi%# fro' (erkho%en!k to countrie! e#ond the ,u!!ian order which I wa! !eeing for the fir!t ti'e3 I

a !or ed (ienna3 Pari! and =ondon in a 'o!t !u''ar# fa!hion3 and detai%! %ike the 5e!t'in!ter Pa%ace !ee'ed Cuite !u0erf%uou!. It wa!n>t for that3 of cour!e3 that =enin had taken 'e out for thi! %ong wa%k. Ai! o @ect wa! to eco'e acCuainted with 'e3 and to Cue!tion 'e. Ai! e/a'ination3 it 'u!t e ad'itted3 wa! ver# thorough indeed. I to%d hi' a%% a out our $i erian di!cu!!ion!3 e!0ecia%%# on the Cue!tion of a centra%i-ed organi-ationD a out '# e!!a# on the !u @ectD a out the vio%ent encounter! I had had with the o%d Po0u%i!t! in Irkut!k3 where I had !ta#ed for a few week!D a out the three e!!a#! # "akha#!k#3 and !o forth. =enin knew how to %i!ten. 91nd how did #ou fare in Cue!tion! of theor#E? I to%d hi' how we3 a! a grou03 had !tudied hi! ook3 The De elo21ent of %a2italis1 in !"ssia3 in the tran!fer<0ri!on in "o!cow3 and how in e/i%e we had worked on "ar/>! %a2ital3 ut had !to00ed at the !econd vo%u'e. 5e had !tudied the controver!# etween )ern!tein and Kaut!k# intent%#3 u!ing the origina% !ource!. +here were no fo%%ower! of )ern!tein a'ong u!. In 0hi%o!o0h#3 we had een 'uch i'0re!!ed # )ogdanov>! ook3 which co' ined "ar/i!' with the theor# of know%edge 0ut forward # "ach and 1venariu!. =enin a%!o thought3 at the ti'e3 that )ogdanov>! theorie! were right. 9I a' not a 0hi%o!o0her3? he !aid3 with a !%ight%# ti'orou! e/0re!!ion3 9 ut P%ekhanov denounce! )ogdanov>! 0hi%o!o0h# a! a di!gui!ed !ort of idea%i!'.? 1 few #ear! %ater3 =enin dedicated a ig vo%u'e to the di!cu!!ion of "ach and 1venariu!D hi! critici!' of their theorie! wa! funda'enta%%# identica% with that voiced # P%ekhanov. I 'entioned3 during our conver!ation3 that the $i erian e/i%e! had een great%# i'0re!!ed # the enor'ou! a'ount of !tati!tica% data ana%#-ed in =enin>! ook on ,u!!ian ca0ita%i!'. 95e%%3 it wa! not done a%% at once3 #ou know3? he an!wered3 a! if !o'ewhat e' arra!!ed. Ae wa! a00arent%# great%# 0%ea!ed that the #ounger co'rade! a00reciated the tre'endou! a'ount of work he had 0ut into hi! 0rinci0a% opus on econo'ic!. "# own future work wa! di!cu!!ed then on%# in a ver# genera% wa#. 5e a!!u'ed that I wou%d !ta# a road for a ti'e3 get acCuainted with current %iterature3 %ook around3 and the re!t wou%d e di!cu!!ed afterward. 1t an# event3 I intended to return i%%ega%%# to ,u!!ia for revo%utionar# work !o'e ti'e %ater. Nad#e-hda Kon!tantinovna took 'e to a hou!e a few %ock! awa#3 where %ived (era 6a!u%itch3 "artov3 and )%u'enfe%d3 the 0skra 0rinting<0re!! 'anager3 and where the# found a roo' for 'e. 1ccording to the Eng%i!h cu!to'3 the roo'! were arranged vertica%%#3 and not on the !a'e f%oor3 a! in ,u!!ia& the %owe!t roo' wa! occu0ied # the %and%ad#3 and the %odger! had roo'! one a ove another. +here wa! a%!o a co''on roo' in which we drank coffee3 !'oked3 and engaged in end%e!! di!cu!!ion!. +hi! roo'3 thank! chief%# to 6a!u%itch3 ut not without he%0 fro' "artov3 wa! a%wa#! in a !tate of rank di!order. P%ekhanov3 after hi! fir!t vi!it to the roo'3 de!cri ed it a! a 9den.? +hat wa! the eginning of '# rief =ondon e0i!ode. I took to !tud#ing the 0u %i!hed i!!ue! of the 0skra3 and the review of ;arya3 which ca'e fro' the !a'e office!. +he!e were ri%%iant 0eriodica%!3 co' ining !cientific 0rofundit# with revo%utionar# 0a!!ion. I actua%%# fe%% in %ove with the 0skra3 and wa! !o a!ha'ed of '# ignorance that I !trained ever# nerve in '# effort to

overco'e it. $oon I egan to write for the 0skra. 1t fir!t it wa! on%# !hort note!3 ut a %itt%e %ater I wrote 0o%itica% artic%e! and even editoria%!. 1t that ti'e3 too3 I gave a 0u %ic %ecture in 5hitecha0e%3 when I had a 0a!!age<at<ar'! with the 0atriarch of the ,u!!ian N'igrN!3 +chaikov!k#3 and with the anarchi!t +cherke-ov3 a%!o a 'an of advanced #ear!. I wa! hone!t%# a'a-ed at the infanti%e argu'ent! with which the!e worth# e%der! were tr#ing to cru!h "ar/i!'. I returned ho'e3 I re'e' er3 a! if I were wa%king on air. In '# contact! with 5hitecha0e%3 and with the out!ide wor%d in genera%3 '# go< etween wa! an o%d =ondoner3 1%e/e#ev3 an N'igrN "ar/i!t who wa! c%o!e%# a%%ied with the editor! of the 0skra. Ae initiated 'e into the '#!terie! of Eng%i!h %ife3 and in genera% wa! '# !ource of infor'ation on a%% !ort! of thing!. Of =enin3 1%e/e#ev !0oke with ver# great re!0ect. 9I e%ieve3? he !aid to 'e once3 9that =enin i! 'ore i'0ortant for the revo%ution than P%ekhanov.? I did not 'ention thi! to =enin3 of cour!e3 ut I did to "artov. "artov 'ade no co''ent. One $unda# I went with =enin and Kru0!ka#a to a $ocia% 8e'ocratic 'eeting in a church3 where !0eeche! a%ternated with the !inging of h#'n!. +he 0rinci0a% !0eaker wa! a co'0o!itor who had @u!t returned fro' 1u!tra%ia. Ae !0oke of the $ocia% revo%ution. +hen ever# od# ro!e and !ang& 9=ord 1%'ight#3 %et there e no 'ore king! or rich 'enJ? I cou%d !carce%# e%ieve '# e#e! or ear!. 5hen we ca'e out of the church3 =enin !aid& 9+here are 'an# revo%utionar# and !ocia%i!tic e%e'ent! a'ong the Eng%i!h 0ro%etariat3 ut the# are 'i/ed u0 with con!ervati!'3 re%igion3 and 0re@udice!3 and can>t !o'ehow reak through to the !urface and unite.? 1fter attending the $ocia% 8e'ocratic church3 we had dinner in the tin# kitchen of a two<roo' a0art'ent. "# friend! @e!ted a! u!ua% a out '# finding '# wa# ho'e. I wa! ver# ad at 'aking '# wa# a out the !treet! and3 with '# u!ua% 0enchant for !#!te'atic thinking3 ca%%ed thi! defect 9a to0ogra0hic cretini!'.? =ater I did etter in thi! re!0ect3 ut '# i'0rove'ent wa! not won without a great dea% of effort. "# 'ode!t know%edge of Eng%i!h acCuired in the 0ri!on at Ode!!a wa! increa!ed ver# %itt%e # '# !ta# in =ondon. I wa! too 'uch a !or ed in ,u!!ian affair!. )riti!h "ar/i!' wa! not intere!ting. +he inte%%ectua% centre of the $ocia% 8e'ocrac# at that ti'e wa! 4er'an#3 and we watched intent%# the !trugg%e then going on etween the 9orthodo/? "ar/i!t! and the 9revi!ioni!t!.? In =ondon3 a! we%% a! %ater on in 4eneva3 I 'et 6a!u%itch and "artov 'uch 'ore often than =enin. $ince we %ived in the !a'e hou!e in =ondon3 and in 4eneva u!ua%%# had our 'ea%! in the !a'e re!taurant!3 I wa! with "artov and 6a!u%itch !evera% ti'e! a da#3 wherea! =enin %ed the %ife of a fa'i%# 'an3 and ever# 'eeting with hi'3 a!ide fro' the officia% 'eeting!3 wa! a !'a%% event. +he )ohe'ian ha it! and ta!te! which weighed !o heavi%# with "artov were utter%# a%ien to =enin. Ae knew that ti'e3 e it ever !o re%ative3 wa! the 'o!t a !o%ute of gift!. Ae !0ent a great dea% of ti'e in the %i rar# of the )riti!h "u!eu'3 where he carried on hi! theoretica% !tudie!3 and where he u!ua%%# wrote hi! new!0a0er artic%e!. 5ith hi! a!!i!tance3 I o tained ad'i!!ion to that !anctuar# too. I wa! in!atia %e3 and !i'0%# gorged '#!e%f on the !u0er a undance of ook! there. $oon3 however3 I had to %eave for the continent.

1fter '# 9te!t? 0u %ic a00earance in 5hitecha0e%3 I wa! !ent on a %ecture tour of )ru!!e%!3 =iWge and Pari!. "# %ecture wa! devoted to the defen!e of hi!torica% 'ateria%i!' again!t the critici!'! of the !o<ca%%ed 9,u!!ian !u @ective !choo%.? =enin wa! ver# 'uch intere!ted in '# !u @ect. I gave hi' '# detai%ed !#no0!i! to %ook over3 and he advi!ed 'e to revi!e the %ecture !o that it cou%d e 0u %i!hed in an artic%e in the ne/t i!!ue of the ;arya. )ut I didn>t have the courage to a00ear # the !ide of P%ekhanov and the other! with a !trict%# theoretica% e!!a#. Fro' Pari!3 I wa! !oon !u''oned # ca %e to =ondon. +he# were 0%anning to !'ugg%e 'e over to ,u!!ia again3 a! re0ort! fro' there co'0%ained a out who%e!a%e arre!t! and the !hortage of 'en3 and de'anded '# return. )ut I had hard%# !et foot in =ondon when the 0%an wa! changed. 8eut!ch3 who %ived in =ondon then and treated 'e ver# kind%#3 to%d 'e afterward how he had !tood u0 for 'e3 urging that the 9#outh? (he had no other na'e for 'e) needed a !ta# a road for a whi%e to i'0rove hi! education3 and how =enin had agreed with hi'. +he 0ro!0ect of working in the ,u!!ian organi-ation of the 0skra wa! te'0ting3 ut neverthe%e!! I wa! ver# g%ad to e a %e to !ta# a road a %itt%e %onger. I returned to Pari!3 where3 un%ike =ondon3 the ,u!!ian !tu dent co%on# wa! ver# %arge. +he revo%utionar# 0artie! were fighting each other itter%# to win over the 'a!! of the !tudent!. Aere i! an e/cer0t fro' the reco%%ection! of that 0eriod # N.I. $edova& 9+he autu'n of 192I wa! 'arked # freCuent %ecture! in the ,u!!ian co%on# in Pari!. +he 0skra grou03 to which I e %onged3 !aw fir!t "artov3 and then =enin. 1 war wa! eing fought again!t the PEcono'i!t!> and the $ocia%i!t<,evo%utioni!t!. In our grou0 there wa! !o'e ta%k a out the arriva% of a #oung co'rade who had e!ca0ed fro' $i eria. Ae ca%%ed at the hou!e of E.". 1%e/androva3 for'er%# one of the Narodovo%t!i3 who had @oined the 0skra. 5e of the #ounger generation were ver# fond of Ekaterina "ikhai%ovna3 %i!tened to her ta%k! with great intere!t3 and were 'uch under her inf%uence. 5hen the #oung contri utor to the 0skra 'ade hi! a00earance in Pari!3 Ekaterina "ikhai%ovna ade 'e find out if there wa! a vacant roo' near #. +here ha00ened to e one in the hou!e where I %ived. +he rent for it wa! 1I franc! a 'onth3 ut the roo' wa! !'a%%3 dark and narrow3 @u!t %ike a 0ri!on ce%%. 5hen I egan de!cri ing the roo' to her3 Ekaterina "ikhai%ovna cut 'e !hort with& P+hat>! enough de!cri ing B it wi%% do. =et hi' take it.> 91fter the #oung co'rade (who!e na'e wa! not revea%ed to u!) e!ta %i!hed hi'!e%f in the roo'3 Ekaterina "ikhai%ovna a!ked 'e& PI! he 0re0aring for hi! %ectureE> 9PI don>t know3 I !u00o!e !o3> I an!wered. P=a!t night a! I wa! co'ing u0<!tair! I heard hi' whi!t%ing in hi! roo'.> 9P+hen te%% hi' to work hard and not whi!t%e.> $he wa! ver# an/iou! that Phe> !hou%d e !ucce!!fu%. )ut her an/iet# wa! unca%%ed for. +he %ecture went off ver# we%% and the co%on# wa! de%ighted3 a! the #oung fo%%ower of the 0skra e/ceeded a%% e/0ectation!.? I wa! 'uch 'ore intere!ted in %earning a out Pari! than I had een a out =ondon. +hi! wa! ecau!e of the inf%uence of N.I. $edova. I wa! orn and rought u0 in the countr#3 ut it wa! in Pari! that I egan to draw c%o!e to nature. 1nd there3 too3 I ca'e face to face with rea% art. I

%earned to a00reciate 0ainting3 a! we%% a! nature3 with great difficu%t#. One of $e dova ! %ater entrie! !a#!& 9Ae e/0re!!ed hi! genera% i'0re!!ion of Pari! in thi! wa#& P,e!e' %e! Ode!!a3 ut Ode!!a i! etter.> +hi! a !urd conc%u!ion can e e/0%ained # the fact that =.8. wa! utter%# a !or ed in 0o%itica% %ife3 and cou%d !ee !o'ething e%!e on%# when it forced it!e%f u0on hi'. Ae reacted to it a! if it were a other3 !o'ething unavoida %e. I did not agree with hi' in hi! e!ti'ate of Pari!3 and twitted hi' a %itt%e for thi!.? Ye!3 it wa! @u!t %ike that. I wa! entering the at'o!0here of a wor%d centre with an o !tinate and antagoni!tic attitude. 1t fir!t3 I 9denied? Pari!3 and even tried to ignore it. ,ight%# con!idered3 it wa! the ca!e of a ar arian !trugg%ing for !e%f<0re!ervation. I fe%t that in order to get c%o!e to Pari! and under!tand it fu%%#3 I wou%d have to !0end a great dea% of 'enta% energ#. )ut I had '# own wor%d of revo%ution3 and thi! wa! ver# e/acting and rooked no riva% intere!t!. 5ith difficu%t#3 and # degree!3 I wa! getting c%o!er to art. I re!i!ted the =ouvre3 the =u/e' ourg3 and the e/hi ition!. ,u en! !ee'ed to 'e too we%%<fed and !e%f<!ati!fied3 Puvi! de *havanne! too a!cetic and faded3 *arriWre>! 0ortrait! irritated 'e with their twi%ight a' iguou!ne!!. +he !a'e a00%ied to !cu%0ture and architecture. In 0oint of fact3 I wa! re!i!ting art a! I had re!i!ted revo%ution ear%ier in %ife3 and %ater3 "ar/i!'D a! I had re!i!ted3 for !evera% #ear!3 =enin and hi! 'ethod!. +he revo%ution of 1925 !oon interru0ted the 0rogre!! of '# co''uning! with Euro0e and it! cu%ture. It wa! on%# during '# !econd e/i%e fro' ,u!!ia that I ca'e c%o!er to art B !aw thing!3 read3 and even wrote a %itt%e a out it. I never went e#ond the !tage of 0ure di%ettanti!'3 however. In Pari!3 I heard 7aurW!. It wa! at a ti'e when 5a%deck ,ou!!eau wa! at the head of the govern'ent3 with "i%%erand a! the 'ini!ter of the Po!t!3 and 4enera% 4a%iffet a! the 'ini!ter of war. I took 0art in a !treet de'on!tration of the 4ue!di!t! and !houted di%igent%#3 with the re!t3 a%% !ort! of un0%ea!ant thing! again!t "i%%erand. 7aurW! did not 'ake an# great i'0re!!ion on 'e then. I fe%t too inten!e%# that he wa! an ene'#. On%# !evera% #ear! %ater did I %earn to a00reciate that 'agnificent figure3 even if '# attitude toward 7aurW!i!' re'ained a! ho!ti%e a! efore. Pre!!ed # the "ar/i!t !ection of the !tudent!3 =enin agreed to give three %ecture! on the agrarian Cue!tion at the Aigher $choo% organi-ed in Pari! # 0rofe!!or! e/0e%%ed fro' ,u!!ian univer!itie!. +he %i era% 0rofe!!or! a!ked the unde!ira %e %ecturer to refrain fro' 0o%e'ic! a! far a! 0o!!i %e. )ut =enin 'ade no 0ro'i!e on thi! !core3 and egan hi! fir!t %ecture with the !tate'ent that "ar/i!' i! a revo%utionar# theor#3 and therefore funda'enta%%# 0o%e'ica%. I re'e' er that (%adi'ir I%#ich wa! con!idera %# e/cited efore hi! fir!t %ecture3 ut a! !oon a! he wa! on the 0%atfor' he co'0%ete%# 'a!tered hi'!e%f3 at %ea!t to a%% outward a00earance!. Profe!!or 4a' arov3 who ca'e to hear hi' !0eak3 gave hi! i'0re!!ion to 8eut!ch in the!e word!& 91 0erfect 0rofe!!or.? Ae o viou!%# thought thi! the highe!t 0rai!e. Once we decided to take =enin to the o0era. 1%% arrange'ent! were in!tru!ted to $edova. =enin went to the O0era *o'iCue with the !a'e riefca!e that acco'0anied hi' to hi! %ecture!. 5e !at in a grou0 in the to0 ga%%er#. )e!ide! =enin3 $edova3 and '#!e%f3 I e%ieve the co'0an# inc%uded a%!o "artov. 1n utter%# un'u!ica% re'ini!cence i! a%wa#! a!!ociated in '# 'ind with thi! vi!it to the o0era. In Pari! =enin had ought hi'!e%f a 0air of !hoe! that had turned out to e too tight. 1! fate wou%d have it3 I ad%# needed a new 0air of !hoe! @u!t then. I wa! given =enin>!3 and at fir!t I thought the# fitted 'e 0erfect%#. +he tri0 to the o0era wa! a%% right. )ut in the theatre I

egan to have 0ain!. On the wa# ho'e I !uffered agonie!3 whi%e =enin twitted 'e a%% the 'ore 'erci%e!!%# ecau!e he had gone through the !a'e thing for !evera% hour! in tho!e ver# !hoe!. Fro' Pari!3 I went on a %ecture tour of the ,u!!ian !tudent co%onie! in )ru!!e%!3 =iege3 in $wit-er%and3 and in !o'e 4er'an town!. In Aeide% erg3 I %i!tened to o%d Kuno Fi!cher3 ut I wa!n>t te'0ted # hi! Kantian teaching. +he nor'ative 0hi%o!o0h# wa! foreign to '# who%e eing. Aow cou%d one 0refer dr# ha# when ne/t to it there wa! !oft3 @uic# gra!!E Aeide% erg had the na'e of eing the centre of 0hi%o!o0hica% idea%i!' a'ong ,u!!ian !tudent!. One of their nu' er wa! 1vk!entiev3 the future 'ini!ter of the Interior under the Keren!k# govern'ent. I roke 'ore than one %ance there in '# hot defen!e of 'ateria%i!t dia%ectic!.

'otes
1. =enin>! fu%% origina% na'e i! (%adi'ir I%#ich H%#anov3 Niko%a# =enin eing hi! 0art#< and 0en<na'e. $ince the revo%ution it ha! eco'e cu!to'ar# to refer to hi' a! (%adi'ir I%#ich =enin3 and 'ore fa'i%iar%# a! I%#ich. Ai! wife>! 'aiden na'e i! Nad#e-hda Kon!tantinovna Kru0!ka#a. B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <00

T3( PA!T4 %&'7!()) A'D T3( )PL0T

5hen =enin went a road at the age of thirt#3 he wa! a%read# fu%%# 'ature. In ,u!!ia3 in the !tudent!> circ%e!3 in the $ocia% 8e'ocratic grou0!3 and in the e/i%e co%onie!3 he he%d fir!t 0%ace. Ae cou%d not fai% to rea%i-e hi! 0ower3 if on%# ecau!e ever#one he 'et or worked with !o c%ear%# did. 5hen he %eft ,u!!ia3 he wa! a%read# in 0o!!e!!ion of a fu%% theoretica% eCui0'ent and of a !o%id !tore of revo%utionar# e/0erience. 1 road3 there were co%%a orator! waiting for hi'& 9+he 4rou0 of =i eration of =a or3? and chief a'ong the'3 P%ekhanov3 the ri%%iant "ar/i!t inter0reter3 teacher of !evera% generation!3 theori!t3 0o%itician3 0u %ici!t3 and orator3 with a Euro0ean re0utation and Euro0ean connection!. $ide # !ide with P%ekhanov were two other 0ro'inent authoritie!3 6a!u%itch and 1/e%rod. It wa! not on%# her heroic 0a!t that had 0%aced (era 6a!u%itch in the front rank!& !he had an e/ceeding%# !har0 'ind3 an e/ten!ive ackground3 chief%# hi!torica%3 and a rare 0!#cho%ogica% in!ight. It wa! through 6a!u%itch that the 94rou0? in it! da# eca'e connected with o%d Enge%!.

Hn%ike P%ekhanov and 6a!u%itch3 who were 'ore c%o!e%# ound to =atin !ocia%i!'3 1/e%rod re0re!ented in the 94rou0? the idea! and e/0erience of the 4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocrac#. In that 0eriod3 however3 P%ekhanov wa! a%read# eginning to enter u0on a !tate of dec%ine. Ai! !trength wa! eing under'ined # the ver# thing that wa! giving !trength to =enin B the a00roach of the revo%ution. 1%% of P%ekhanov>! activit# took 0%ace during the 0re0arator#3 theoretica% da#!. Ae wa! "ar/ian 0ro0agandi!t and 0o%e'i!t<in<chief3 ut not a revo%utionar# 0o%itician of the 0ro%etariat. +he nearer the !hadow of the revo%ution cre0t3 the 'ore evident it eca'e that P%ekhanov wa! %o!ing ground. Ae cou%dn>t he%0 !eeing it hi'!e%f3 and that wa! the cau!e of hi! irrita i%it# toward the #ounger 'en. +he 0o%itica% %eader of the 0skra wa! =enin. "artov wa! the %iterar# 0owerD he wrote a! ea!i%# and a! continuou!%# a! he !0oke. 5orking !ide # !ide with =enin3 "artov3 hi! c%o!e!t co'0anion in ar'!3 wa! a%read# eginning to fee% not Cuite at hi! ea!e. +he# were !ti%% addre!!ing each other a! 9t#? (thou)3 ut a certain co%dne!! wa! eginning to cree0 into their 'utua% re%ation!. "artov %ived 'uch 'ore in the 0re!ent3 in it! event!3 in hi! current %iterar# work3 in the 0o%itica% 0ro %e'! of the da#3 in the new! and conver!ation!D =enin3 on the other hand3 a%though he wa! fir'%# entrenched in the 0re!ent3 wa! a%wa#! tr#ing to 0ierce the vei% of the future. "artov evo%ved innu'era %e and often ingeniou! gue!!e!3 h#0othe!e!3 and 0ro0o!ition! which even he 0ro'0t%# forgotD wherea! =enin waited unti% the 'o'ent when he needed the'. +he e%a orate !u t%et# of "artov>! idea! !o'e ti'e! 'ade =enin !hake hi! head in a%ar'. +he different 0o%itica% %ine! had not #et had ti'e to for'D in fact3 the# had not even egun to 'ake the'!e%ve! fe%t. =ater on3 through the !0%it at the $econd *ongre!! of the 0art#3 the 0skra adherent! were divided into two grou0!3 the 9hard? and the 9!oft.? +he!e na'e! were 'uch in vogue at fir!t. +he# indicated that3 a%though no 'arked divi!ion! rea%%# e/i!ted3 there wa! a difference in 0oint of view3 in re!o%utene!! and readine!! to go on to the end. One can !a# of =enin and "artov that even efore the !0%it3 even efore the congre!!3 =enin wa! 9hard? and "artov 9!oft.? 1nd the# oth knew it. =enin wou%d g%ance at "artov3 who' he e!ti'ated high%#3 with a critica% and !o'ewhat !u!0iciou! %ook3 and "artov3 fee%ing hi! g%ance3 wou%d %ook down and 'ove hi! thin !hou%der! nervou!%#. 5hen the# 'et or conver!ed afterward3 at %ea!t when I wa! 0re!ent3 one 'i!!ed the friend%# inf%ection and the @e!t!. =enin wou%d %ook e#ond "artov a! he ta%ked3 whi%e "artov>! e#e! wou%d grow g%a!!# under hi! droo0ing and never Cuite c%ean pince0ne7. 1nd when =enin !0oke to 'e of "artov3 there wa! a 0ecu%iar intonation in hi! voice& 95ho !aid thatE 7u%iu!E? B and the na'e 7u%iu! wa! 0ronounced in a !0ecia% wa#3 with a !%ight e'0ha!i!3 a! if to give warning& 91 good 'an3 no Cue!tion a out it3 even a re'arka %e one3 ut 'uch too !oft.? 1t the !a'e ti'e3 "artov wa! a%!o co'ing under the inf%uence of (era Ivanovna 6a!u%itch3 who wa! drawing hi' awa# fro' =enin3 not !o 'uch 0o%itica%%# a! 0!#cho%ogica%%#. =enin concentrated a%% connection! with ,u!!ia in hi! own hand!. +he !ecretar# of the editoria% oard wa! hi! wife3 Nad#e-hda Kon!tantinovna Kru0!ka#a. $he wa! at the ver# centre of a%% the organi-ation workD !he received co'rade! when the# arrived3 in!tructed the' when the# %eft3 e!ta %i!hed connection!3 !u00%ied !ecret addre!!e!3 wrote %etter!3 and coded and decoded corre!0ondence. In her roo' there wa! a%wa#! a !'e%% of urned 0a0er fro' the !ecret %etter! !he heated over the fire to read. $he often co'0%ained3 in her gent%# in!i!tent wa#3 that 0eo0%e did not

write enough3 or that the# got the code a%% 'i/ed u03 or wrote in che'ica% ink in !uch a wa# that one %ine covered another3 and !o forth. =enin wa! tr#ing3 in the ever#<da# work of 0o%itica% organi-ation3 to achieve a 'a/i'u' of inde0endence fro' the o%der 'e' er! and a ove a%% fro' P%ekhanov3 with who' he had had 'an# itter !trugg%e!3 e!0ecia%%# in the drafting of the 0art# 0rogra''e. =enin>! origina% draft3 !u 'itted a! a counter<0ro0o!a% to P%ekhanov>!3 received fro' the %atter a !har0%# unfavora %e e!ti'ate3 in the @e!ting and !u0erior 'anner characteri!tic of 4eorg# (a%entinovitch on !uch occa!ion!. )ut of cour!e =enin cou%d not e confu!ed or inti'idated # !uch 'ethod!. +he !trugg%e took on a ver# dra'atic a!0ect. 6a!u%itch and "artov acted a! inter'ediarie!D the for'er on eha%f of P%ekhanov3 the %atter of =enin. )oth inter'ediarie! were in a 'o!t conci%iator# 'ood3 and e!ide! thi!3 the# were friend!. (era Ivanovna3 according to her own account3 once !aid to =enin& 94eorge LP%ekhanovM i! a hound B he wi%% !hake a thing for a whi%e3 and then dro0 itD wherea! #ou are a u%%dog B #our! i! the death<gri0.? 5hen !he re0eated thi! conver!ation to 'e %ater3 (era Ivanovna added& 9+hi! a00ea%ed to =enin ver# 'uch B Pa death<gri03> he re0eated3 with o viou! de%ight.? 1! !he !aid thi!3 !he good<natured%# 'i'icked =enin>! intonation and accent. (Ae cou%d not 0ronounce the !ound of 9r? c%ear%#.) 1%% the!e di!agree'ent! took 0%ace efore I arrived fro' ,u!!ia. I never !u!0ected the'. Nor did I know that the re%ation! a'ong the editor! of the 0skra had een aggravated even 'ore # '# co'ing. Four 'onth! after '# arriva%3 =enin wrote to P%ekhanov& 9"arch I3 1923. P1,I$. 9I !ugge!t to a%% the 'e' er! of the editoria% oard that the# co<o0tate >Pero> a! a 'e' er of the oard on the !a'e a!i! a! other 'e' er!. I e%ieve co<o0tation de'and! not 'ere%# a 'a@orit# of vote!3 ut a unani'ou! deci!ion. 5e (ery #uch need a !eventh 'e' er3 oth a! a convenience in voting (!i/ eing an even nu' er)3 and a! an addition to our force!. >Pero> ha! een contri uting to ever# i!!ue for !evera% 'onth! nowD he work! in genera% 'o!t energetica%%# for the 0skraD he give! %ecture! (in which he ha! een ver# !ucce!!fu%). In the !ection of artic%e! and note! on the event! of the da#3 he wi%% not on%# e ver# u!efu%3 ut a !o%ute%# nece!!ar#. HnCue!tiona %# a 'an of rare a i%itie!3 he ha! conviction and energ#3 and he wi%% go 'uch farther. Further'ore3 in the fie%d of tran!%ation! and of 0o0u%ar %iterature3 he wi%% e a %e to do a great dea%. Po!!i %e o @ection!& (1) Ai! #outhD (I) hi! %eaving for ,u!!ia3 0o!!i %# in a !hort ti'eD (3) hi! 0en L0eroM3 thi! ti'e without the Cuotation3 which !how! trace! of the %euilleton !t#%e3 and i! e/ce!!ive%# f%orid3 etc. 9,e (1) >Pero> i! 0ro0o!ed not for an# inde0endent 0o!t3 ut on%# a! a 'e' er of the oard. +here he wi%% acCuire hi! e/0erience. Ae ha! unCue!tiona %# the >!en!e> of a 0art# 'an3 of a 'an of faction3 and know%edge and e/0erience are a 'atter of ti'e. +he co<o0tation i! nece!!ar# in order to tie hi' down and encourage hi'. 9,e (I) If PPero> doe! enter into an inti'ate contact with a%% of our work3 he wi%% 0ro a %# not %eave !o ear%#. If he doe! %eave3 hi! organi-ed connection with the oard and hi! working under it! in!truction wi%% not con!titute a 'inu!3 ut an enor'ou! 0%u!.

9,e (3) +he defect! of !t#%e are not a 'atter of i'0ortance. Ae wi%% outgrow the'. 1t 0re!ent3 he acce0t! Pcorrection!> in !i%ence (and not ver# readi%#). On the oard there wi%% e di!cu!!ion!3 voting!3 and the Pin!truction!> wi%% have a 'ore definite and o %igator# character. 9+o !u' u03 I 0ro0o!e& (1) to 0a!! a vote # a%% the !i/ 'e' er! of the oard for a fu%% co< o0tation of PPero>D (I) to !tart3 if he i! acce0ted3 on the definite for'u%ation of the re%ation! a'ong the editor!3 of the ru%e! of voting3 and on the drafting of a 0reci!e con!titution. This is necessary %or oursel(es3 a! we%% a! for the congre!!. 9P.$. I con!ider that it wou%d e (ery incon(enient and awkward to put o%% the co<o0tation3 a! it ha! een 'ade c%ear to 'e that PPero> i! considerably anno#ed B though of cour!e he doe! not !how it o0en%# B a out hi! eing !ti%% u0 in the air3 and a out hi! eing treated3 a! it !ee'! to hi'3 a! a P#outh.> If we do not acce0t PPero> at once3 and he goe! awa#3 !a#3 a 'onth fro' now3 to ,u!!ia3 I a' convinced that he wi%% inter0ret thi! a! our direct unwillingness to acce0t hi' on the oard. Ae wi%% !%i0 awa# and thi! wi%% e ver# unde!ira %e.? I Cuote thi! %etter3 which I di!covered on%# recent%#3 a%'o!t in it! entiret# (e/ce0ting on%# technica% detai%!) ecau!e it i! e/tre'e%# characteri!tic of the !ituation within the editoria% oard3 characteri!tic of =enin hi'!e%f3 and of hi! attitude toward 'e. 1! I have a%read# !aid3 I wa! co'0%ete%# ignorant of the !trugg%e that wa! going on ehind the !cene! with regard to '# @oining the oard. =enin>! idea that I wa! 9con!idera %# anno#ed? a out '# not eing inc%uded on the oard i! incorrect and not in the %ea!t characteri!tic of '# 'ood at that ti'e. In 0oint of fact3 it never entered '# 'ind. "# attitude toward the oard wa! that of a 0u0i% toward hi! 'a!ter!. I wa! on%# twent#<three #ear! o%d. +he #ounge!t of the editor! wa! "artov3 who wa! !even #ear! o%der than I3 and =enin hi'!e%f wa! ten #ear! '# !enior. I wa! 'uch 0%ea!ed with the fate that had 0%aced 'e !o c%o!e to thi! re'arka %e grou0 of 0eo0%e. I cou%d %earn 'uch fro' each of the'3 and I did3 'o!t di%igent%#. 5here did =enin get the idea that I wa! anno#edE I think it wa! !i'0%# a tactica% trick. +he entire %etter i! i' ued with the de!ire to 0rove3 to convince3 and to get what he wanted. =enin 0ur0o!e%# tried to !care the other editor! with '# !u0 0o!ed anno#ance and 0o!!i %e e!trange'ent fro' the 0skra. Ae u!ed thi! 'ere%# a! an additiona% argu'ent3 and nothing 'ore. +he !a'e a%!o a00%ie! to hi! argu'ent a out '# eing referred to a! a 9#outh.? +hi! wa! the na'e # which o%d 8eut!ch freCuent%# addre!!ed 'e3 ut no one e%!e did. 1nd to 8eut!ch3 who never had and never cou%d have an# 0o%itica% inf%uence over 'e3 I wa! on%# ound # genuine friend!hi0. =enin u!ed the argu'ent 'ere%# to i'0re!! on the o%der one! the nece!!it# of reckoning with 'e3 a! with a 'an who wa! 0o%itica%%# 'ature. +en da#! after =enin>! %etter had een !ent3 "artov wrote to 1/e%rod& 9"arch 123 1923. =ON8ON. 9(%adi'ir I%#ich ha! 0ro0o!ed to u! that we ad'it PPero3> who' #ou know3 to the oard of editor!3 with fu%% right!. Ai! %iterar# work !how! undenia %e ta%ent3 he i! Cuite Pour!> in thought3 he ha! who%%# identified hi'!e%f with the intere!t! of the 0skra3 and here3 a road3 he wie%d! con!idera %e inf%uence3 thank! to hi! e/ce0tiona% e%oCuence. Ae !0eak! 'agnificent%#D he cou%d

not do etter. Of thi!3 oth (%adi'ir I%#ich and I have had occa!ion to convince our!e%ve!. Ae ha! know%edge and work! hard to increa!e it. I unre!erved%# !u !cri e to (%adi'ir I%#ich>! 0ro0o!a%.? In thi! %etter3 "artov !how! hi'!e%f on%# a! a true echo of =enin. )ut he doe! not re0eat the argu'ent a out '# anno#ance. I %ived with "artov3 !ide # !ide in the !a'e hou!e. Ae had o !erved 'e too c%o!e%# to !u!0ect an# i'0atient de!ire on '# 0art to eco'e a 'e' er of the oard. 5h# did =enin in!i!t !o eager%# on the nece!!it# of '# @oining the oardE Ae wanted to o tain a !ta %e 'a@orit#. On a nu' er of i'0ortant Cue!tion!3 the editor! were divided into two eCua% grou0!& the o%der one! (P%ekhanov3 6a!u%itch3 1/e%rod)3 and the #ounger generation (=enin3 "artov3 Potre!ov). =enin fe%t !ure that on the 'o!t critica% Cue!tion! I wou%d e with hi'. On one occa!ion3 when it wa! nece!!ar# to o00o!e P%ekhanov3 =enin ca%%ed 'e a!ide and !aid !%#%#& 9=et "artov !0eak. Ae wi%% !'ooth it over3 wherea! #ou wi%% hit !traight fro' the !hou%der.? O !erving an e/0re!!ion of !ur0ri!e on '# face3 he added i''ediate%#& 9For '# 0art3 I 0refer to hit fro' the !hou%der3 ut with P%ekhanov it wou%d e etter thi! ti'e to !'ooth thing! over.? =enin>! 0ro0o!a% that I e 0ut on the oard wa! wrecked # P%ekhanov>! o00o!ition. 5or!e !ti%%3 thi! 0ro0o!a% eca'e the chief cau!e of an e/tre'e%# unfriend%# attitude on P%ekhanov>! 0art toward 'e3 ecau!e he gue!!ed that =enin wa! %ooking for a fir' 'a@orit# again!t hi'. +he Cue!tion of reorgani-ing the editoria% oard wa! deferred unti% the congre!!. +he oard decided3 however3 without waiting for the congre!!3 to invite 'e to the editoria% 'eeting! in an advi!or# ca0acit#. P%ekhanov re!o%ute%# o00o!ed even thi!. )ut (era Ivanovna !aid to hi'3 9I>%% ring hi'3 no 'atter what #ou !a#.? 1nd !he did actua%%# 9 ring? 'e to the ne/t 'eeting. 1! I knew nothing a out what had ha00ened ehind the !cene!3 I wa! 'uch 0ut out # the !tudied co%dne!! with which 4eorg# (a%entinovitch !hook hand! with 'e3 a thing at which he wa! 0a!t<'a!ter. P%ekhanov>! di!%ike of 'e %a!ted for a %ong ti'eD in fact3 it never di!a00eared. In 10ri%3 192T3 "artov3 in writing to 1/e%rod3 referred to 9hi! LP%ekhanov>!M 0er!ona% hatred of the !aid 0er!on L'#!e%fM B a hatred that i! degrading to hi'!e%f and igno %e.? +he reference in =enin>! %etter to '# %iterar# !t#%e at that ti'e i! intere!ting. It i! true in oth re!0ect!3 that i!3 regarding '# tendenc# to f%orid writing3 and a%!o '# di!inc%ination to acce0t correction!. "# writing wa! an affair of on%# a out two #ear!> !tanding at that ti'e3 and the Cue!tion of !t#%e he%d an i'0ortant and inde0endent 0%ace with 'e. I wa! @u!t e ginning to a00reciate the f%avor of word!. 7u!t a! chi%dren ru their gu'! when the# are teething3 !o'eti'e! with Cuite ina00ro0riate o @ect!3 I wou%d 0ur!ue word!3 for'u%a!3 or an i'age in '# %iterar# teething<!tage. On%# ti'e wou%d 0urif# '# !t#%e. 1nd a! the !trugg%e for for' wa! neither an accidenta% nor an e/terna% thing3 ut a ref%ection of '# inte%%ectua% 0roce!!e!3 it i! no wonder that3 with a%% '# re!0ect for editor!3 I in!tinctive%# 0rotected '# !ti%% !ha0ing individua%it# a! a writer again!t the inroad! of 'en who were a%read# 'ature ut different%# con!tituted. "eanwhi%e3 the da# !et for the congre!! wa! drawing near3 and eventua%%# it wa! decided to tran!fer the editoria% oard to 4eneva3 in $wit-er%and3 where %iving wa! chea0er and contact with ,u!!ia ea!ier. =enin agreed to thi! with a heav# heart. 9In 4eneva3 we were 0ut u0 in two tin# attic roo'!3? write! $edova. 9=.8. wa! engro!!ed in the work for the congre!!3 whi%e I wa!

getting read# to %eave for 0art# work in ,u!!ia.? +he fir!t de%egate! to the congre!! egan to arrive3 and there were continuou! conference!. In thi! 0re0arator# work3 the %eader!hi0 unCue!tiona %# e%onged to =enin3 a%though the fact wa! not a%wa#! o viou!. $o'e de%egate! arrived with dou t! or with 0reten!ion!. +he work of 0re0aration took a great dea% of ti'e. "uch ti'e wa! given to the con!ideration of the 0ro0o!ed con!titution3 !ince one of the i'0ortant 0oint! in the !che'e of organi-ation wa! the re%ation!hi0 to e e!ta %i!hed etween the centra% organ (the 0skra)3 and the *entra% *o''ittee which wa! to function in ,u!!ia. I arrived a road with the e%ief that the editoria% oard !hou%d e 'ade !u ordinate to the *entra% *o''ittee. +hat wa! the 0revai%ing attitude of the 'a@orit# of the 0skra fo%%ower!. 9It can>t e done3? o @ected =enin. 9+he corre%ation of force! i! different. Aow can the# guide u! fro' ,u!!iaE No3 it can>t e done. 5e are the !ta %e centre3 we are !tronger in idea!3 and we 'u!t e/erci!e the guidance fro' here.? 9+hen thi! wi%% 'ean a co'0%ete dictator!hi0 of the editoria% oardE? I a!ked. 95e%%3 what>! wrong with thatE? retorted =enin. 9In the 0re!ent !ituation3 it 'u!t e !o.? =enin>! !che'e! of organi-ation arou!ed certain dou t! in 'e. )ut nothing wa! farther fro' '# 'ind than the thought that the congre!! wou%d %ow u0 on tho!e ver# Cue!tion!. I wa! 'ade the de%egate of the $i erian Hnion3 with which I had een c%o!e%# a!!ociated during '# e/i%e. +o avoid !0ie!3 I !et out for the congre!! with the +u%a de%egate3 8r. H%#anov3 who wa! =enin>! #ounger rother3 not fro' 4eneva ut fro' the ad@oining Cuiet %itt%e !tation of Nion where the e/0re!!<train !to00ed for on%# ha%f a 'inute. =ike good ,u!!ian 0rovincia%!3 we waited for the train on the wrong !ide of the track3 and when the e/0re!! 0u%%ed in we da!hed to our carriage over the uffer!. )efore we cou%d c%i' in!ide3 the train !tarted. +he !tation<'a!ter !aw two 0a!!enger! etween the uffer!3 %ew hi! whi!t%e3 and the train !to00ed. 1! !oon a! we had een conducted to our car3 the guard to%d u! that it wa! the fir!t ti'e he had ever !een !uch !tu0id fe%%ow!3 and that we wou%d have to 0a# fift# franc! for !to00ing the train. 1nd we3 in turn3 to%d hi' that we didn>t under!tand a word of French. 1! a 'atter of fact3 thi! wa! not !trict%# true3 ut it an!wered our 0ur0o!e. 1fter !houting at u! for another three 'inute!3 the fat $wi!! %eft u! in 0eace3 and that wa! a%% the 'ore !en!i %e ecau!e we didn>t have fift# franc! etween u!. =ater on3 when he wa! checking the ticket!3 he again aired3 to the re!t of the train3 hi! conte'0tuou! o0inion of the two trave%%er! who had to e taken off the uffer!. +he 0oor fe%%ow did not know that we were trave%%ing to create a 0art#. +he congre!! o0ened in )ru!!e%! at the headCuarter! of a %a or co<o0erative !ociet# in the "ai!on du Peu0%e. +he !tore roo'3 which had een a!!igned for our work3 and which wa! !ufficient%# hidden awa# fro' a%ien e#e!3 contained a%e! of woo%D a! a re!u%t3 we were con!tant%# eing attacked # huge nu' er! of f%ea!. 5e referred to the' a! 91n!e%e>! ar'#3? L1M 'o i%i-ed for it! attack on ourgeoi! !ociet#. +he 'eeting! were an actua% 0h#!ica% torture. $ti%% wor!e wa! the 0er!i!tent dogging of the de%egate!> !te0!3 fro' the ver# fir!t da# of their !ta#. I %ived on the !trength of a 0a!!0ort i!!ued to $a'okov%i#ev3 a )u%garian a out who' I knew nothing. One night during the !econd week I ca'e out of a %itt%e re!taurant3 The 2olden

1heasant3 with 6a!u%itch. 1 de%egate fro' Ode!!a3 6.3 cro!!ed our 0ath3 and without even %ooking at u!3 hi!!ed etween hi! teeth& 9+here>! a detective ehind #ou. $e0arate3 and he wi%% fo%%ow the 'an.? 6. wa! an e/0ert on detective!3 and 0o!!e!!ed an e#e a! 0reci!e a! an a!trono'ica% in!tru'ent. Ae %ived near the 1heasant3 on the to0 f%oor3 and 'ade hi! win dow an o !ervation tower. I i''ediate%# !aid good< # to 6a!u%itch3 and wa%ked !traight ahead. In '# 0ocket there were '# )u%garian 0a!!0ort and five franc!. +he !%euth3 a ta%% !%i' F%e'ing with a no!e %ike a duck>! i%%3 fo%%owed 'e. It wa! after 'idnight3 and there wa! not a !ou% on the !treet. I turned ack !har0%#. 9">!ieu3 what>! the na'e of thi! !treetE? +he F%e'ing !ee'ed frightened3 and 0re!!ed ack again!t the wa%%. 97e ne !ai! 0a!.? Ae no dou t e/0ected a revo%ver<!hot. I wa%ked on3 !traight a%ong the ou%evard. 1 c%ock !truck one. 1t the fir!t !ide !treet3 I turned and ran for a%% I wa! worth3 the F%e'ing after 'e. $o there we were3 two !tranger!3 racing after each other in the !treet! of )ru!!e%! after 'idnight. Even now I can hear the c%atter of feet. 1fter I had run around the three !ide! of the %ock3 I ca'e to the ou%evard again3 with the F%e'ing. 5e were oth tired and furiou!. 5e ke0t on wa%king. 5e 0a!!ed a few ca ! !tanding at the cur . It wou%d have een u!e%e!! to take one of the'3 ecau!e the detective wou%d have fo%%owed in another. 5e continued to wa%k. +he inter'ina %e ou%evard !ee'ed to e a00roaching what %ooked %ike an end3 and we were going out of town. I !aw a !o%itar# ca near a ar that wa! o0en a%% night. 5ith a !wift 0u!h3 I wa! in the ca . 94o3 I>' in a hurr#J? 95here do #ou want to goE? +he detective wa! %i!tening intent%#. I gave the na'e of a 0ark a few 'inute!> wa%k fro' '# 0%ace. 91 hundred !ou!.? 94oJ? +he driver 0u%%ed in the rein!. +he detective ru!hed into the ar and caine out again with a gar=on3 0ointing hi! finger at hi! di!a00earing ene'#. Aa%f an hour %ater I wa! in '# own roo'. 1! !oon a! I %it the cand%e I noticed a %etter on the dre!!ing<ta %e3 addre!!ed to 'e under '# )u%garian na'e. 5ho cou%d have written 'e hereE It turned out to e an invitation to 9$ieur $a'okov%i#ev? to a00ear with hi! 0a!!0ort the ne/t 'orning at ten at the 0o%ice !tation. $o another detective 'u!t have tracked 'e there the da# efore3 and a%% that night<cha!e on the ou%evard wa! nothing ut a %itt%e di!intere!ted e/erci!e for oth 0artie!. $i'i%ar invitation! were e/tended to other de%egate! that night3 too. +ho!e who vi!ited the 0o%ice were ordered to %eave )e%giu' in twent#<four hour!. I did not go to the 0o%ice !tation ut !i'0%# %eft for =ondon3 to which the congre!! wa! tran!ferred.

+he head of the ,u!!ian !ecret !ervice in )er%in3 a 'an na'ed Aarting3 afterward re0orted to the Po%ice 8e0art'ent that 9the )ru!!e%! 0o%ice were !ur0ri!ed to !ee !uch an inf%u/ of foreigner!3 and !u!0ected ten 'en of an anarchi!t con!0irac#.? 1! a 'atter of fact3 the )ru!!e%! 0o%ice were !ur0ri!ed # Aarting hi'!e%f. Ai! rea% na'e wa! Aekke%'ann3 a o' i!t agen 0pro(ocateur !entenced in a !tate of contu'ac# to hard<%a or # the French court!3 who %ater eca'e a genera% of the *-ar>! !ecret 0o%ice3 and3 under a fa%!e na'e3 a *heva%ier of the =egion d>Aonneur in France. Aarting3 in turn3 o tained hi! infor'ation though another. agent0pro(ocateur3 8r. 6hito'ir!k#3 who3 working fro' )er%in3 had taken an active 0art in the organi-ation of the congre!!. )ut a%% thi! ca'e out !evera% #ear! %ater. It wou%d !ee' a! if *-ari!' he%d a%% the !tring!. 1nd #et even thi! did not !ave it. 1! the congre!! 0rogre!!ed3 the difference! etween the fore'o!t adherent! of the 0skra ca'e to a head. +he divi!ion etween the 9hard? and the 9!oft? wa! a00arent. 1t fir!t3 the di!agree'ent! centred a out the fir!t 0aragra0h of the con!titution& the Cue!tion of who wa! to e con!idered a 'e' er of the 0art#. =enin in!i!ted on identif#ing the 0art# with the underground organi-ation. "artov wanted to con!ider a! 'e' er! a%!o tho!e who worked under the direction of the underground organi-ation. +he difference wa! of no i''ediate 0ractica% i'0ortance3 a! oth for'u%a! conferred the right of voting on%# on 'e' er! of the underground organi-ation!. Neverthe%e!!3 the two divergent tendencie! were un'i!taka %e. =enin wanted c%ear<cut3 0erfect%# definite re%ation!hi0! within the 0art#. "artov tended toward diffu!e for'!. +he grou0ing of the 'e' er! deter'ined the who%e !u !eCuent cour!e of the congre!!3 and3 a'ong other thing!3 the co'0o!ition of the directing centre! of the 0art#. )ehind the !cene!3 there wa! a !trugg%e for the !u00ort of ever# individua% de%egate. =enin %o!t no o00ortunit# to win 'e over to hi! !ide. Ae3 another de%egate3 Kra!ikov3 and I a%% three had a %ong wa%k together3 during which the# oth tried to 0er!uade 'e that "artov and I cou%d not fo%%ow the !a'e road3 for "artov wa! a 9!oft? one. Kra!ikov>! de!cri0tion! of the other editor! of the 0skra were !o uncere'oniou! that the# 'ade =enin frown3 whi%e I !hivered. "# attitude toward the editor! of the 0skra wa! !ti%% touched with the !enti'enta%it# of #outh. +hat conver!ation re0e%%ed rather than attracted 'e. +he difference! were !ti%% intangi %eD ever# od# wa! 'ere%# gro0ing a out and working with i'0a%0a %e thing!. 5e decided to ho%d a 'eeting of the 0roved 0skra 'en to c%ear the who%e u!ine!! u0. )ut even the !e%ection of the chair'an wa! fu%% of difficu%tie!. 9I !ugge!t e%ecting #our )en@a'in3? !aid 8eut!ch3 in an atte'0t to find a wa# out. $o I had to occu0# the chair at the ver# 'eeting of the 0skra fo%%ower! in which the future !0%it etween the )o%!hevik! and the "en!hevik! fir!t took !ha0e. Ever# od#>! nerve! were !trained to the reaking<0oint. =enin %eft the 'eeting3 anging the door ehind hi'. +hat wa! the on%# ti'e I ever !aw hi' %o!e hi! !e%f<contro% during the itter !trugg%e in!ide the 0art#. +he !ituation eca'e even 'ore aggravated. +he difference! a%% ca'e to the !urface at the congre!! it!e%f. =enin 'ade another atte'0t to win 'e over to the 9hard? faction # !ending to 'e a wo'an de%egate3 a! we%% a! hi! #ounger rother3 8'itr#. "# conver!ation with the'3 which wa! carried on in the 0ark3 %a!ted for !evera% hour!. +he e'i!!arie! wou%d not %et 'e go. 95e have order!3? the# !aid3 9to ring #ou with u! at an# co!t.? In the end3 I f%at%# refu!ed to fo%%ow the'.

+he !0%it ca'e une/0ected%# for a%% the 'e' er! of the congre!!. =enin3 the 'o!t active figure in the !trugg%e3 did not fore!ee it3 nor had he ever de!ired it. )oth !ide! were great%# u0!et # the cour!e of event!. 1fter the congre!!3 =enin wa! !ick for !evera% week! with a nervou! i%%ne!!. 9Fro' =on don3 =.8. wrote a%'o!t dai%#3? write! $edova in her 'e'oir!. 9Ai! %etter! were e/0re!!ive of a growing a%ar'3 and fina%%# there wa! a %etter re0orting the !0%it3 that !aid with de!0air that the 0skra wa! no 'ore3 that it wa! dead ... +he !0%it in the 0skra u0!et u! dreadfu%%#. 1fter =.8.>! return fro' the congre!!3 I !oon %eft for $t. Peter! urg with re0ort! of the congre!! written in a 'icro!co0ic hand on thin 0a0er3 and in!erted in!ide of the inding of a =arou!!e French dictionar#.? Aow did I co'e to e with the 9!oft!? at the congre!!E Of the 0skra editor!3 '# c%o!e!t connection! were with "artov3 6a!u%itch and 1/e%rod. +heir inf%uence over 'e wa! unCue!tiona %e. )efore the congre!! there were variou! !hade! of o0inion on the editoria% oard3 ut no !har0 difference!. I !tood farthe!t fro' P%ekhanov3 who3 after the fir!t rea%%# trivia% encounter!3 had taken an inten!e di!%ike to 'e. =enin>! attitude toward 'e wa! une/ce0tiona%%# kind. )ut now it wa! he who3 in '# e#e!3 wa! attacking the editoria% oard3 a od# which wa!3 in '# o0inion3 a !ing%e unit3 and which ore the e/citing na'e of 0skra. +he idea of a !0%it within the oard !ee'ed nothing !hort of !acri%egiou! to 'e. ,evo%utionar# centra%i!' i! a har!h3 i'0erative and e/acting 0rinci0%e. It often take! the gui!e of a !o%ute ruth%e!!ne!! in it! re%ation to individua% 'e' er!3 to who%e grou0! of for'er a!!ociate!. It i! not without !ignificance that the word! 9irreconci%a %e? and 9re%ent%e!!? are a'ong =enin>! favorite!. It i! on%# the 'o!t i'0a!!ioned3 revo%utionar# !triving for a definite end B a !triving that i! utter%# free fro' an#thing a!e or 0er!ona% B that can @u!tif# !uch a 0er!ona% ruth%e!!ne!!. In 19233 the who%e 0oint at i!!ue wa! nothing 'ore than =enin>! de!ire to get 1/e%rod and 6a!u%itch off the editoria% oard. "# attitude toward the' wa! fu%% of re!0ect3 and there wa! an e%e'ent of 0er!ona% affection a! we%%. =enin a%!o thought high%# of the' for what the# had done in the 0a!t. )ut he e%ieved that the# were eco'ing an i'0edi'ent for the future. +hi! %ed hi' to conc%ude that the# 'u!t e re'oved fro' their 0o!ition of %eader!hi0. I cou%d not agree. "# who%e eing !ee'ed to 0rote!t again!t thi! 'erci%e!! cutting off of the o%der one! when the# were at %a!t on the thre!ho%d of an organi-ed 0art#. It wa! '# indignation at hi! attitude that rea%%# %ed to '# 0arting with hi' at the !econd congre!!. Ai! ehavior !ee'ed un0ardona %e to 'e3 oth horri %e and outrageou!. 1nd #et3 0o%itica%%# it wa! right and nece!!ar#3 fro' the 0oint of view of organi-ation. +he reak with the o%der one!3 who re'ained in the 0re0arator# !tage!3 wa! in evita %e in an# ca!e. =enin under!tood thi! efore an# one e%!e did. Ae 'ade an atte'0t to kee0 P%ekhanov # !e0arating hi' fro' 6a!u%itch and 1/e%rod. )ut thi!3 too3 wa! Cuite futi%e3 a! !u !eCuent event! !oon 0roved. "# reak with =enin occurred on what 'ight e con!idered 9'ora%? or even 0er!ona% ground!. )ut thi! wa! 'ere%# on the !urface. 1t otto'3 the !e0aration wa! of a 0o%itica% nature and 'ere%# e/0re!!ed it!e%f in the rea%' of organi-ation 'ethod!. I thought of '#!e%f a! a centra%i!t. )ut there i! no dou t that at that ti'e I did not fu%%# rea%i-e what an inten!e and i'0eriou! centra%i!' the revo%utionar# 0art# wou%d need to %ead 'i%%ion! of 0eo0%e in a war again!t the o%d order. "# ear%# #ear! were 0a!!ed in the di!'a% at'o!0here of a reaction which 0ro%onged it! !ta# in Ode!!a for an e/tra five #ear!. =enin>! #outhfu% #ear! dated ack to the 9Narodna#a (o%#a.? +ho!e who ca'e a few #ear! after 'e were rought u0 in an environ'ent that wa!

inf%uenced # the new 0o%itica% u0heava%. 1t the ti'e of the =ondon *ongre!! in 19233 revo%ution wa! !ti%% %arge%# a theoretica% a !traction to 'e. Inde0endent%# I !ti%% cou%d not !ee =enin>! centra%i!' a! the %ogica% conc%u!ion of a c%ear revo%utionar# conce0t. 1nd the de!ire to !ee a 0ro %e' inde0endent%#3 and to draw a%% the nece!!ar# conc%u!ion! fro' it3 ha! a%wa#! een '# 'o!t i'0eriou! inte%%ectua% nece!!it#. +he !eriou!ne!! of the conf%ict which %a-ed u0 at the congre!!3 a0art fro' the i'0act of 0rinci0%e!3 which wa! !ti%% ver# inci0ient3 wa! a%!o cau!ed # the fai%ure of the o%der one! to recogni-e the !tature and i'0ortance of =enin. 8uring the congre!! and i''ediate%# after3 the indignation of 1/e%rod and other! on the oard at =enin>! conduct wa! cou0%ed with a'a-e'ent& 9Aow cou%d he have the nerve to do itE? 95a! it !o %ong ago that he ca'e a road a! a 'ere 0u0i% and ehaved a! a 0u0i%E? the o%der one! argued. 95here3 then3 did he get that !u0re'e !e%f<confidenceE 5here did he get the nerve )ut =enin had the nerve. 1%% he needed wa! to e convinced that the o%der one! were inca0a %e of a!!u'ing direct %eader !hi0 of the 'i%itant organi-ation of the 0ro%etarian vanguard in the revo%ution which wa! c%ear%# a00roaching. +he o%der one! B and the# were not a%one B erred in their @udg'entD =enin wa! not 'ere%# a re'arka %e 0art# worker3 ut a %eader3 a 'an with ever# fi re of hi! eing ent on one 0articu%ar end3 one who fina%%# rea%i-ed that he wa! hi'!e%f a %eader after he had !tood !ide # !ide with the e%der! and had een convinced that he wa! !tronger and 'ore nece!!ar# than the#. In the 'id!t of the !ti%% vague 'ood! that were co''on in the grou0 that u0he%d the 0skra anner3 =enin a%one3 and with fina%it#3 envi! aged 9to'orrow3? with a%% it! !tern ta!k!3 it! crue% conf%ict! and count%e!! victi'!. 1t the congre!!3 =enin won P%ekhanov over3 a%though on%# for a ti'e. 1t the !a'e ti'e3 he %o!t "artovD thi! %o!! wa! for ever. P%ekhanov a00arent%# !en!ed !o'ething at the congre!!. 1t %ea!t he to%d 1/e%rod3 in di!cu!!ing =enin& 9Of !uch !tuff ,o e!0ierre! are 'ade.? P%ekhanov hi'!e%f did not 0%a# an envia %e 0art at the congre!!. On%# once did I !ee and hear P%ekhanov in a%% hi! 0ower. +hat wa! on the 0rogra''e co''ittee of the congre!!. 5ith a c%ear3 !cientifica%%# e/act !che'e of the 0rogra''e in 'ind3 !ure of hi'!e%f3 of hi! know%edge and !u0eriorit#3 with a ga# ironic !0ark%e in hi! e#e!3 hi! gra# ing 'u!tache a%ert and ri!t%ing3 with !%ight%# theatrica% ut %ive%# and e/0re!!ive ge!ture!3 P%ekhanov a! chair'an i%%u'ined the entire %arge gathering with hi! 0er!ona%it#3 %ike a %ive fire work! of erudition and wit. +he %eader of the "en!hevik! LIM3 "artov3 'u!t e counted a! one of the 'o!t tragic figure! of the revo%utionar# 'ove'ent. 1 gifted writer3 an ingeniou! 0o%itician3 a 0enetrating thinker3 "artov !tood far a ove the inte%%ectua% 'ove'ent of which he eca'e the %eader. )ut hi! thought %acked courageD hi! in !ight wa! devoid of wi%%. $heer doggedne!! wa! no !u !titute. "artov>! initia% reaction to event! a%wa#! !howed a revo%utionar# trend of thought. I''ediate%#3 however3 hi! thought3 which %acked the !u00ort of a %ive wi%%3 died down. "# friend !hi0 with hi' did not !urvive the te!t of the fir!t i'0ortant event! 0reci0itated # the a00roaching revo%ution. 5hatever I 'a# !a# a out it3 however3 the !econd congre!! wa! a %and'ark in '# %ife3 if on%# ecau!e it !e0arated 'e fro' =enin for !evera% #ear!. 1! I %ook ack now on the 0a!t3 I a' not

!orr#. I ca'e to =enin for the !econd ti'e %ater than 'an# other!3 ut I ca'e in '# own wa#3 after I had gone through and had weighed the e/0erience of the revo%ution3 the counter< revo%ution and the I'0eria%i!t war. I ca'e3 a! a re!u%t3 'ore !ure%# and !eriou!%# than tho!e 9di!ci0%e!? who3 during the 'a!ter>! %ife3 re0eated hi! word! and ge!ture! B not a%wa#! at the right 'o'ent B ut3 after hi! death3 0roved to e nothing ut he%0%e!! e0igone! and uncon!ciou! too%! in the hand! of ho!ti%e force!.

'otes
1. 1n!e%e wa! one of the %eader! of the $ocia%i!t 0art# in )e%giu'3 0articu%ar%# 0ro'inent in the co<o0erative 'ove'ent. B Trans. I. 1! the re!u%t of the !0i%t at the $econd *ongre!! of the ,u!!ian $ocia% 8e'o cratic Part#3 the two faction! ca'e to e known a! 9)o%!hevik!3? 'eaning 9o% the #a5ority3? and 9"en!hevik!3? 'eaning 9o% the #inority.? B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <000

T3( !(T6!' T& !6))0A

+hi! connection with the 'inorit# of the !econd congre!! wa! rief. )efore 'an# 'onth! had 0a!!ed3 two tendencie! had eco'e con!0icuou! within the 'inorit#. I advocated taking !te0! to ring a out a union with the 'a@orit# a! !oon a! 0o!!i %e3 ecau!e I thought of the !0%it a! an out!tanding e0i!ode ut nothing 'ore. For other!3 the !0%it at the !econd congre!! wa! the eginning of the evo%ution toward o00ortuni!'. I !0ent the who%e #ear of 192T arguing with the %eading grou0 of "en!hevik! on Cue!tion! of 0o%ic# and organi-ation. +he argu'ent! were concentrated on two i!!ue!& the attitude toward %i era%i!' and that toward the )o%!hevik!. I wa! for an unco'0ro'i!ing re!i!tance to the atte'0t! of the %i era%! to %ean u0on the 'a!!e!3 and at the !a'e ti'e3 ecau!e of it3 I de'anded with increa!ing deter'ination the union of the two $ocia% 8e'ocratic faction!. In $e0te' er3 I for'a%%# renounced '# 'e' er!hi0 in the 'inorit#D I had cea!ed eing an active 'e' er in 10ri% of that #ear. 8uring that 0eriod I !0ent a few 'onth! awa# fro' ,u!!ian N'igrN circ%e!3 in "unich3 which wa! then con!idered the 'o!t de'ocratic and 'o!t arti!tic cit# in 4er'an#. I ca'e to know the )avarian $ocia% 8e'ocrac# Cuite we%%3 a! we%% a! the ga%%erie! of "unich and the cartooni!t! of Si#plicissi#us.

Even at the ti'e of the 0art# congre!!3 the entire !outhern 0art of ,u!!ia wa! in the throe! of a great !trike. Pea!ant di!tur ance! grew 'ore and 'ore freCuent. +he univer!itie! were !eething. For a %itt%e whi%e3 the ,u!!o<7a0ane!e war !to00ed the 'ove'ent3 ut the 'i%itar# debacle of *-ari!' 0ro'0t%# 0rovided a for'ida %e %ever for revo%ution. +he 0re!! wa! eco'ing 'ore daring3 the terrori!t act! 'ore freCuentD the %i era%! egan to wake u0 and %aunched a ca'0aign of 0o%itica% anCuet!. +he funda'enta% Cue!tion! of revo%ution ca'e !wift%# to the front 1 !traction! were eginning in '# e#e! to acCuire actua% !ocia% f%e!h. +he "en!hevik!3 6a!u%itch e!0ecia%%#3 were 0%acing great ho0e! in the %i era%!. Even efore the congre!!3 after one of the editoria% 'eeting! in the cafN "andolt3 6a!u%itch egan to co'0%ain3 in the 0ecu%iar3 ti'id%# in!i!tent tone which !he a%wa#! a!!u'ed for !uch occa!ion!3 that we were attacking the %i era%! too 'uch. +hat wa! a !ore 0oint with her. 9$ee how eager the# are a out it3? !he wou%d !a#3 %ooking 0a!t =enin3 though it wa! rea%%# =enin who' !he wa! ai'ing at. 9$truve de'and! that the ,u!!ian %i era%! !hou%d not renounce $ocia%i!'3 ecau!e if the# do the# wi%% e threatened with the fate of the 4er'an %i era%!D he !a#! the# !hou%d fo%%ow the e/a'0%e of the French ,adica% $ocia%i!t!.? 95e !hou%d !trike the' a%% the 'ore3? !aid =enin with a ga# !'i%e3 a! if he were tea!ing (era Ivanovna. 9+hat>! niceJ? !he e/c%ai'ed in utter de!0air. 9+he# co'e to 'eet u! and we !trike the' down.? I wa! with =enin unre!erved%# in thi! di!cu!!ion3 which eca'e 'ore crucia% the dee0er it went. In 192T3 during the %i era% anCuet ca'0aign3 which Cuick%# reached an i#passe3 I 0ut forward the Cue!tion3 95hat ne/tE? and an!wered it in thi! wa#& the wa# out can e o0ened on%# # 'ean! of a genera% !trike3 fo%%owed # an u0ri!ing of the 0ro%etariat which wi%% 'arch at the head of the 'a!!e! again!t %i era%i!'. +hi! aggravated '# di!agree'ent! with the "en!hevik!. On the 'orning of 7anuar# I33 19253 I returned to 4eneva fro' a %ecture tour3 e/hau!ted after a !%ee0%e!! night on the train. 1 new! o# !o%d 'e a 0a0er of the da# efore. It referred in the future ten!e to the 'arch of the worker! to the 5inter Pa%ace. I decided that it had fai%ed to take 0%ace. 1n hour or !o %ater I ca%%ed at the 0skra office. "artov wa! a%% e/cite'ent. 9$o it did not co'e offE? 95hat do #ou 'ean3 did not co'e offE? he 0ounced on 'e. 95e !0ent the who%e night in a cafN reading fre!h ca %e!. Aaven>t #ou heard an#thingE Aere it i!3 here3 here ...? and he 0u!hed the 0a0er into '# hand!. I ran through the fir!t ten %ine! of the te%egra0hed re0ort of the %ood# $unda#. L1M 1 du%%3 urning !en!ation !ee'ed to over0ower 'e B I cou%d not !ta# a road an# %onger. "# connection! with the )o%!hevik! had ended with the congre!!. I roke awa# fro' the "en!hevik!D I had to act at '# own ri!k. +hrough a !tudent I got a new 0a!!0ort3 and with '# wife LIM3 who had co'e a road again in the autu'n of 192T I took the train to "unich. Parvu! 0ut u! u0 in hi! own hou!e. +here he read '# 'anu!cri0t dea%ing with the event! of the IInd of 7anuar#3 and wa! 'uch e/cited # it. 9+he event! have fu%%# confir'ed thi! ana%#!i!. Now3 no one can den# that the genera% !trike i! the 'o!t i'0ortant 'ean! of fighting. +he IInd of 7anuar#

wa! the fir!t 0o%itica% !trike3 even if it wa! di!gui!ed under a 0rie!t>! c%oak. One need add on%# that revo%ution in ,u!!ia 'a# 0%ace a de'ocratic worker!> govern'ent in 0ower.? It wa! after thi! fa!hion that Parvu! wrote a 0reface to '# 0a'0h%et. Parvu! wa! unCue!tiona %# one of the 'o!t i'0ortant of the "ar/i!t! at the turn of the centur#. Ae u!ed the "ar/ian 'ethod! !ki%fu%%#3 wa! 0o!!e!!ed of wide vi!ion3 and ke0t a keen e#e on ever#thing of i'0ortance in wor%d event!. +hi!3 cou0%ed with hi! fear%e!! thinking and hi! viri%e3 'u!cu%ar !t#%e3 'ade hi' a re'arka %e writer. Ai! ear%# !tudie! rought 'e c%o!er to the 0ro %e'! of the $ocia% ,evo%ution3 and3 for 'e3 definite%# tran!for'ed the conCue!t of 0ower # the 0ro%etariat fro' an a!trono'ica% 9fina%? goa% to a 0ractica% ta!k for our own da#. 1nd #et there wa! a%wa#! !o'ething 'ad and unre%ia %e a out Parvu!. In addition to a%% hi! other a' ition!3 thi! revo%utionar# wa! torn # an a'a-ing de!ire to get rich. Even thi! he connected3 in tho!e #ear! at %ea!t3 with hi! !ocia%<revo%utionar# idea!. 9+he 0art# a00aratu! ha! eco'e 0etrified3? he wou%d co'0%ain. 9It i! hard to get an#thing into even )e e%>! head. 5hat we revo%utionar# "ar/i!t! need i! a great dai%# new!0a0er 0u %i!hed in three Euro0ean %anguage!. )ut for thi! we 'u!t have 'one#3 and %ot! of it.? +hu! were thought! of the revo%ution and of wea%th inter'ing%ed in the heav#3 f%e!h# head of thi! u%%dog. Ae 'ade an atte'0t to !et u0 a 0u %i!hing hou!e of hi! own in "unich3 ut it ended rather ad%# for hi'. +hen he went to ,u!!ia and took 0art in the revo%ution of 1925. In !0ite of hi! origina%it# and ingenuit# of thought3 he fai%ed utter%# a! a %eader. 1fter the defeat of the revo%ution of 19253 he went into a dec%ine. Fro' 4er'an# he 'oved to (ienna3 and fro' there to *on!tantino0%e3 where eventua%%# the 5or%d 5ar found hi'. 8uring the war he achieved wea%th i''ediate%# through 'i%itar# co''ercia% enter0ri!e!. 1t the !a'e ti'e3 he ca'e out 0u %ic%# a! a defender of the 0rogre!!ive 'i!!ion of 4er'an 'i%itari!'3 roke definite%# with the revo%utionarie!3 and eca'e one of the inte%%ectua% %eader! of the right wing of the 4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocrac#. It goe! without !a#ing that !ince the war I have not had an# 0o%itica% or 0er!ona% contact with hi'. Fro' "unich3 $edova and I went to (ienna. +he N'igrN tide wa! a%read# ro%%ing ack to ,u!!ia. (ictor 1d%er wa! co'0%ete%# engro!!ed in ,u!!ian affair!3 and wa! o taining 'one#3 0a!!0ort!3 addre!!e! and the %ike for the N'igrN!. In hi! hou!e3 a hairdre!!er wrought a change in '# a00earance an a00earance that had a%read# eco'e too fa'i%iar to the ,u!!ian 0o%ice<agent! a road. 9I have @u!t received a te%egra' fro' 1/e%rod3? 1d%er in for'ed 'e3 9!a#ing that 4a0on ha! arrived a road and announced hi'!e%f a $ocia% 8e'ocrat. It>! a 0it#. If he had di!a00eared a%together there wou%d have re'ained a eautifu% %egend3 wherea! a! an N'igrN he wi%% e a co'ica% figure. You know3? he added3 with a !0ark%e in hi! e#e that du%%ed the edge of hi! iron#3 9!uch 'en are etter a! hi!torica% 'art#r! than a! co'rade! in a 0art#.? 5hi%e I wa! in (ienna3 I heard the new! of the a!!a!!ination of 4rand 8uke $ergiu!. Event! were crowding each other. +he $ocia% 8e'ocratic 0re!! turned it! e#e! to the ea!t. "# wife went ahead of 'e to arrange for %iving Cuarter! and connection! in Kiev. 5ith a 0a!!0ort in the na'e of a retired cor0ora%3 1r u-ov3 I arrived in Kiev in Fe ruar#3 and for !evera% week! 'oved a out fro' hou!e to hou!e. I !ta#ed fir!t with a #oung %aw#er who wa! afraid of hi! own !hadow3 then with a 0rofe!!or at the +echno%ogica% In!titute3 then with !o'e widow who had %i era% view!. 1t

one ti'e I even found refuge in an o0htha%'ic ho!0ita%. Hnder in!truction! fro' the 0h#!ician in charge3 who under!tood '# !ituation3 the nur!e3 to '# great e' arra!!'ent3 gave 'e foot< ath! and a00%ied !o'e har'%e!! dro0! to '# e#e!. I had to e dou %# !ecretive ecau!e of that3 and write '# 0roc%a'ation! out of her !ight !he watched 'e !o rigid%# to 0revent 'e fro' tiring '# e#e!. 8uring the round! of in!0ection3 the 8octor wou%d get awa# fro' one of hi! a!!i!tant! who wa! not con!idered re%ia %e3 ru!h into '# roo' with a wo'an a!!i!tant who' he tru!ted3 and Cuick%# %ock the door! and draw the curtain! a! if he were 0re0aring to e/a'ine '# e#e!. 1fter thi!3 a%% three of u! wou%d reak out into ga# ut cautiou! %aughter. 9Aave #ou cigarette!E? the doctor wou%d a!k. 9Ye!3? I wou%d re0%#. 9>uantu# satisE? he continued. 9>uantu# satis3? I an!wered. 1nd then we a%% %aughed again. +hat wa! the end of the e/a'ination3 and I wou%d go ack to writing 0roc%a'ation!. I wa! high%# a'u!ed # thi! %ife. +he on%# thing that 'ade 'e fee% a %itt%e a!ha'ed of '#!e%f wa! having to deceive the a'ia %e o%d nur!e who treated 'e !o con!cientiou!%# with foot< ath!. +he fa'ou! underground 0rinting<0re!! wa! then in o0eration in Kiev3 and3 de!0ite the 'an# raid! and arre!t! on ever# hand3 'anaged to kee0 going for !evera% #ear! under the ver# no!e of the chief of the !ecret 0o%ice3 Novit!k#. It wa! in that !a'e 0re!! that I had 'an# of '# 0roc%a'ation! 0rinted in the !0ring of 1925. "# %onger writing! I egan to intru!t to a #oung engineer na'ed Kra!!in who' I 'et in Kiev. Ae wa! a 'e' er of the )o%!hevik *entra% *o''ittee and had at hi! di!0o!a% a %arge and we%%<eCui00ed !ecret 0rinting<0re!! !o'ewhere in the *auca!u!. In Kiev3 I wrote a nu' er of %eaf%et! for hi! 0re!!3 which 0rinted the' c%ear%#3 an e/traordinar# thing in tho!e underground condition!. +he 0art#3 %ike the revo%ution3 wa! !ti%% #oung at that ti'e3 and one wa! !truck # the ine/0erience and %ack of fini!h revea%ed oth # the 'e' er! and # their action! in genera%. Kra!!in %ikewi!e wa! not who%%# free fro' thi! fau%t. )ut there wa! !o'ething fir'3 re!o%ute and 9ad'ini!trative? a out hi'. Ae wa! an engineer of !o'e e/0erience3 he he%d a 0a#ing @o and fi%%ed it we%%D he wa! va%ued # hi! e'0%o#er!3 and had a circ%e of acCuaintance! that wa! 'uch %arger and 'ore varied than that of an# of the #oung revo%utionarie! of the da#. In worker!> roo'!3 in engineer!> a0art'ent!3 in the 'an!ion! of the %i era% "o!cow indu!tria%i!t!3 in %iterar# circ%e! ever#where3 Kra!!in had connection!. Ae 'anaged the' a%% with great !ki%% and3 con!eCuent%#3 0ractica% 0o!!i i%itie! that were Cuite c%o!ed to the other! were o0ened to hi'. In 19253 in addition to 0artici0ating in the genera% work of the 0art#3 Kra!!in had charge of the 'o!t dangerou! fie%d! of the work3 !uch a! ar'ed unit!3 the 0urcha!e of ar'!3 the 0re0aring of !tock! of e/0%o!ive!3 and the %ike. In !0ite of hi! road out%ook he wa! 0ri'ari%# a 'an of i''ediate achieve'ent!3 in 0o%itic! a! we%% a! in %ife. +hat wa! hi! !trength3 ut it wa! a%!o hi! hee% of 1chi%%e!. For %ong #ear! of %a oriou! gathering of force!3 of 0o%itica% training3 of theoretica% ana%#!i! and e/0erience for a%% thi! he had no ca%%3 and when the revo%ution of 1925 fai%ed to rea%i-e it! ho0e!3 e%ectro<technic! and indu!tr# in genera% e ca'e hi! fir!t con!ideration. Even in that 0ha!e3 Kra!!in e/ce%%ed a! a 'an who rea%i-ed hi! ai'!3 who cou%d !how e/ce0tiona% achieve'ent!. +here i! no dou t that hi! greate!t !ucce!!e! in engineering gave hi' the !ort of 0er!ona% !ati!faction that he had ear%ier found in the revo%utionar# !trugg%e. Ae received the )o%!hevik revo%ution with ho!ti%e ewi%der'ent3 a! an adventure foredoo'ed to fai%ure. For a %ong ti'e3 he refu!ed to e%ieve in our a i%it# to overco'e the reakdown of the countr#. =ater3 however3 he wa! carried awa# # the vi!ta of work that wa! o0ened u0 efore hi'.

1! for '#!e%f3 '# connection with Kra!!in in 1925 wa! a god!end. 5e arranged to 'eet in $t. Peter! urgD he a%!o !u00%ied 'e with !ecret addre!!e! there. +he fir!t and 'o!t i'0ortant wa! that of the Kon!tantinov!k# $choo% of 1rti%%er#3 where I wa! to 'eet the chief 'edica% officer3 1%e/ander 1%e/androvitch =itken!3 to who!e fa'i%# fate ound 'e for a %ong ti'e after. It wa! in =itken!> hou!e on 6a a%kan!k# Pro!0ect3 in the !choo% ui%ding3 that I !ought !ecret refuge 'ore than once in the re!t%e!! da#! and night! of 1925. $o'eti'e! under the ver# e#e! of the 'i%itar# door'an the hou!e of the chief 0h#!ician wa! vi!ited # !uch 0eo0%e a! the !choo% court#ard and it! !tairca!e! had never !een. )ut the %ower functionarie! were ver# friend%# to the doctor3 no re0ort! were 'ade to the 0o%ice3 and ever#thing went off !'ooth%#. +he doctor>! e%der !on3 1%e/ander3 who wa! a out 1G3 wa! then a 'e' er of the 0art#3 and a few 'onth! %ater %ed the 0ea!ant 'ove'ent in the Or%ov di!trict. )ut he cou%d not !tand the terrific nervou! !train3 and fe%% i%% and died. +he doctor>! #ounger !on3 Evgraf3 then a !tudent in the gy#nasiu#3 %ater 0%a#ed an i'0ortant 0art in the civi% war and in the educationa% work of the $oviet 4overn'ent3 ut wa! ki%%ed # andit! in the *ri'ea in 19I1. In $t. Peter! urg I %ived officia%%# on the 0a!!0ort of a %andowner na'ed (ikentiev. In revo%utionar# circ%e! I wa! known a! Peter Petrovitch. I wa! not for'a%%# a 'e' er of either of the two faction!. I continued to work with Kra!!in3 who wa! at that ti'e a )o%!hevik conci%iator. +hi!3 in view of '# inter<factiona% 0o!ition3 rought u! even c%o!er together. 1t the !a'e ti'e3 I ke0t in touch with the %oca% "en!hevik grou03 which wa! fo%%owing a ver# revo%utionar# 0o%ic#. Hnder '# inf%uence3 the grou0 advocated o#cott of the fir!t advi!or# 8u'a3 which rought it into conf%ict with the "en!hevik centre a road. +hi! grou0 wa! !oon tra00ed # the govern'ent3 however. It wa! etra#ed # one of it! active 'e' er!3 8o ro!kok3 known a! 9Niko%a# of the 4o%d $0ectac%e!3? who turned out to e a 0rofe!!iona% agent0pro(ocateur. Ae knew that I wa! in $t. Peter! urg3 and he knew 'e # !ight. "# wife wa! arre!ted at the "a#da# 'eeting in the wood!. I had to hide for a whi%e3 and !o3 in the !u''er3 I %eft for Fin%and. +hen there wa! a !hort interva% of 0eace in which I did inten!ive %iterar# work and took !hort wa%k! in the countr#. I read the 0a0er! with avidit#3 watched the 0artie! take !ha0e3 c%i00ed new!0a0er!3 and grou0ed and !ifted fact!. 8uring that 0eriod3 I fina%%# for'u%ated '# conce0tion of the inner force! of ,u!!ian !ociet# and of the 0ro!0ect! of the ,u!!ian revo%ution. ,u!!ia3 I wrote then3 i! facing a ourgeoi!<de'ocratic revo%ution. +he a!i! of the revo%ution i! the %and Cue!tion. Power wi%% e ca0tured # the c%a!! or the 0art# which wi%% %ead the 0ea!antr# again!t *-ari!' and the %andowner!. Neither the %i era%! nor the de'ocratic inte%%igent!ia wi%% e a %e to do !oD their hi!torica% ti'e ha! 0a!!ed. +he revo%utionar# foreground i! a%read# occu0ied # the 0ro%etariat. On%# the $ocia% 8e'ocrac#3 acting through worker!3 can 'ake the 0ea!antr# fo%%ow it! %ead. +hi! o0en! to the ,u!!ian $ocia% 8e'ocrac# the 0ro!0ect of ca0turing the 0ower efore that can 0o!!i %# take 0%ace in the countrie! of the 5e!t. +he i''ediate ta!k of the $ocia% 8e'ocrac# wi%% e to ring the de'ocratic revo%ution to co'0%etion. )ut once in contro%3 the 0ro%etariat 0art# wi%% not e a %e to confine it!e%f 'ere%# to the de'ocratic 0rogra''eD it wi%% e o %iged to ado0t $ocia%i!t 'ea!ure!. Aow far it wi%% go in that direction wi%% de0end not on%# on the corre%ation of force! in ,u!!ia it!e%f3 ut on the entire internationa% !ituation a! we%%. Aence the chief !trategic %ine of action con!eCuent%# de'and! that the $ocia% 8e'ocrac#3 whi%e fighting %i era%i!' for the %eader!hi0 of the 0ea!antr#3 !ha%% a%!o !et it!e%f the ta!k of !ei-ing the 0ower even during the 0rogre!! of the ourgeoi! revo%ution.

+he Cue!tion of the genera% 0ro!0ect! of revo%ution wa! 'o!t inti'ate%# ound u0 with tactica% 0ro %e'!. +he centra% 0o%itica% !%ogan of the 0art# wa! the de'and for a con!tituent a!!e' %#. )ut the cour!e of the revo%utionar# !trugg%e rai!ed the Cue!tion of who wou%d !u''on the con!tituent a!!e' %#3 and how. Fro' the 0ro!0ect of a 0o0u%ar u0ri!ing directed # the 0ro%etariat3 there fo%%owed %ogica%%# the creation of a 0rovi!iona% revo%utionar# govern'ent. +he %eading rF%e of the 0ro%etariat in the revo%ution wa! ound to !ecure for it a deci!ive 0art in the 0rovi!iona% govern'ent. +hi! Cue!tion cau!ed ani'ated di!cu!!ion! in the u00er circ%e! of the 0art#3 a! we%% a! etween Kra!!in and 'e. I wrote the!e! in which I argued that a co'0%ete victor# of revo%ution over *-ari!' wou%d 'ean either a 0ro%etariat in 0ower3 !u00orted # the 0ea!antr#3 or a direct !te0 toward !uch 0ower. +hi! deci!ive !tate'ent frightened Kra!!in. Ae acce0ted the !%ogan of 0rovi!iona% revo%utionar# govern'ent3 and the 0rogra''e of it! activitie! a! I out%ined the'. )ut he refu!ed to %a# down in advance an# ru%e! on the !u @ect of a $ocia% 8e'ocratic 'a@orit# in the govern'ent. In thi! for'3 '# the!e! were 0rinted in $t. Peter! urg3 and Kra!!in took it u0on hi' e%f to defend the' at the a%%<0art# congre!! which wa! to 'eet a road in "a#. +he congre!!3 however3 fai%ed to occur. Kra!!in took an active 0art in the di!cu!!ion of the Cue!tion of 0rovi!iona% govern'ent at the )o%!hevik congre!! and !u 'itted '# the!e! a! an a'end'ent to =enin>! re!o%ution. +hi! e0i!ode i! !o intere!ting3 0o%itica%%#3 that I fee% o %iged to Cuote the 'inute! of the )o%!hevik *ongre!!. 91! regard! the re!o%ution of *o'rade =enin3? !aid Kra!!in3 9I !ee it! weak 0oint in it! fai%ure to !tre!! the Cue!tion of 0rovi!iona% govern'ent3 and to indicate3 with !ufficient c%arit#3 the connection etween 0rovi!iona% govern'ent and ar'ed ti0 ri!ing. 1! a 'atter of fact3 the 0rovi!iona% govern'ent i! e!ta %i!hed # the 0o0u%ar u0ri!ing a! it! own organ ... I further find in the re!o%ution the incorrect o0inion that the 0rovi!iona% revo%utionar# govern'ent wi%% a00ear on%# a%ter the fina% victor# of the ar'ed u0ri!ing and after the overthrow of autocrac#. No it ari!e! in the ver# 0roce!! of the u0ri!ing and take! the 'o!t active 0art in the conduct of the u0ri!ing3 in!uring the %atter>! victor# # it! organi-ed action. It i! naive to think that the $ocia% 8e'ocrac# wi%% e a %e to take 0art in the 0rovi!iona% revo%utionar# govern'ent the 'o'ent the autocrac# i! co'0%ete%# overthrownD when the che!tnut! have een re'oved fro' the fire # other hand! than our!3 no od# wi%% ever drea' of !haring the' with u!.? 1%% thi! wa! an a%'o!t (erbati# !tate'ent of '# the!e!. =enin3 who in hi! introductor# re0ort had rai!ed the Cue!tion in it! 0ure%# theoretica% for'3 received Kra!!in>! 0oint of view with great !#'0ath#. +hi! i! what he !aid& 9+aking it # and %arge3 I !u !cri e to the o0inion of *o'rade Kra!!in. It i! natura% that a! a %iterar# 'an3 I !hou%d concentrate '# attention on the %iterar# !ha0ing of the Cue!tion. +he i'0ortance of the o @ect of the !trugg%e i! 0ointed out # *o'rade Kra!!in ver# e/act%#3 and I who%%# !u !cri e to hi! view. One cannot engage in a !trugg%e without e/0ecting to ca0ture the 0o!ition for which one i! fighting.? +he re!o%ution wa! corre!0onding%# a'ended. It 'a# not e !u0erf%uou! to re'ark that during the 0o%e'ic! of the %a!t few #ear!3 the re!o%ution of the third congre!! on the Cue!tion of 0rovi!iona% govern'ent ha! een Cuoted hundred! of ti'e! a! !o'ething o00o!ed to

9+rot!k#i!'.? +he 9red 0rofe!!or!? of the $ta%in !choo% have not the gho!t of an idea that the# are Cuoting again!t 'e3 a! an e/a'0%e of =enini!'3 the ver# %ine! that I wrote '#!e%f. +he environ'ent in which I %ived in Fin%and3 with it! hi%%!3 0ine<tree! and %ake!3 it! tran!0arent autu'n air3 and it! 0eace3 wa! !carce%# a re'inder of a 0er'anent revo%ution. 1t the end of $e0te' er I 'oved !ti%% farther into the Finni!h interior and took u0 '# Cuarter! in the wood! on the !hore of a %ake3 in an i!o%ated pension3 ,auha. +hi! na'e in Finni!h 'ean! 90eace.? +he huge pension wa! a%'o!t e'0t# in the autu'n. 1 $wedi!h writer wa! !ta#ing there during the!e %a!t da#! with an Eng%i!h actre!!3 and the# %eft without 0a#ing their i%%. +he 0ro0rietor ru!hed after the' to Ae%!ingfor!. Ai! wife wa! ver# i%%D the# cou%d on%# kee0 her heart eating # 'ean! of cha'0agne. I never !aw her. $he died whi%e the 0ro0rietor wa! !ti%% awa#. Aer od# wa! in a roo' a ove 'e. +he head waiter went to Ae%!ingfor! to %ook for her hu! and. +here wa! on%# a #oung o# %eft for !ervice. 1 heav# !now fe%%. +he 0ine<tree! were wra00ed in a white !hroud. +he pension wa! %ike death. +he #oung o# wa! awa# down in the kitchen3 !o'ewhere e%ow the ground. 1 ove 'e the dead wo'an wa! %#ing. I wa! a%one. 1%% in a%%3 it wa! 9rauha? 0eace. Not a !ou%3 not even a !ound. I wrote and wa%ked. In the evening3 the 0o!t 'an rought a unch of $t. Peter! urg 0a0er!. I o0ened the'3 one after another. It wa! %ike a raging !tor' co'ing in through an o0en window. +he !trike wa! growing3 and !0reading fro' town to town. In the !i%ence of the hote%3 the ru!t%ing of the 0a0er! echoed in one>! ear! %ike the ru' %e of an ava%anche. +he revo%ution wa! in fu%% !wing. I de'anded '# i%% fro' the o#3 ordered hor!e!3 and %eft '# 90eace? to 'eet the ava%anche. +hat !a'e evening I wa! 'aking a !0eech in the great ha%% of the Po%#technic In!titute in $t. Peter! urg.

'otes
1. On 7anuar# II3 19253 great 'a!!e! of worker! in $t. Peter! urg3 %ed # the 0rie!t 4a0on and carr#ing church anner! and the 0ortrait of the *-ar3 'arched to the 5inter Pa%ace to !u 'it a 0etition in which the# !et forth their grievance! and a00ea%ed to the *-ar to he%0 i'0rove their %ot. +he 'en3 their wive! and chi%dren 0roceeded to the Pa%ace $Cuare3 ut were 'et # govern'ent troo0! who !hot and !a red the'3 ki%%ing or wounding thou!and!. +he da# ha! eco'e known in ,u!!ia a! 9+he )%ood# $unda#.? B Trans. I. Nata%ia Ivanovna $edova3 the author>! !econd wife. B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life

%3APT(! <0V

T3( 4(A! 190.

+he Octo er !trike did not deve%o0 according to 0%an. It egan with the 0rinter! in "o!cow3 and then !u !ided !%ow%#. +he deci!ive fight! had een 0%anned # the 0ar tie! for the anniver!ar# of the )%ood# $unda# (7anuar# II). +hat i! wh# I wa! co'0%eting '# work in '# Finni!h refuge without ha!te. )ut an accidenta% !trike that wa! a%read# in it! %a!t ga!0! !udden%# !0read to the rai%wa#! and went off at a ga%%o0. 1fter Octo er 12 of that #ear3 the !trike3 now with 0o%itica% !%ogan!3 !0read fro' "o!cow throughout the countr#. No !uch genera% !trike had ever een !een an#where efore. In 'an# town! there were c%a!he! with the troo0!. )ut3 taken # and %arge3 the Octo er event! re'ained on the 0%ane of a 0o%itica% !trike and never took on the character of an ar'ed u0 ri!ing. 1 !o%uti!' %o!t it! head3 however3 and retreated. On Octo er 1; L1M it announced the Constitutional !ani%esto. It i! true that in@ured *-ari!' retained the a00aratu! of 0ower. +he govern'ent 0o%ic# wa! 'ore than ever3 to u!e the word! of 5itte3 9a 'i/ture of cowardice3 %indne!!3 treacher# and !tu0idit#.? Neverthe%e!!3 the revo%ution won it! fir!t victor#3 a victor# not co'0%ete in it!e%f3 ut one which 0ro'i!ed 'uch. 9+he 'o!t i'0ortant 0art of the ,u!!ian revo%ution of 19253? the !a'e 5itte wrote %ater3 9wa!3 of cour!e3 in the !%ogan of the 0ea!antr#& P4ive u! %and.>? 5ith thi! one can agree. )ut 5itte goe! on to !a#& 9I did not attri ute 'uch i'0ortance to the $oviet of 5orker!. Nor did it have an#.? +hi! on%# 0rove! that even the 'o!t gifted of ureaucrat! did not under!tand the !ignificance of the event! which were the %a!t warning to the ru%ing c%a!!e!. 5itte died in ti'e to avoid having to revi!e hi! view! on the i'0ortance of the worker!> $oviet!. I arrived in $t. Peter! urg when the Octo er !trike wa! at it! 0eak. +he wave of !trike! wa! !wee0ing farther and farther3 ut there wa! danger that the 'ove'ent3 not eing contro%%ed # a centra% organi-ation3 wou%d die down without an# re!u%t!. I ca'e fro' Fin%and with a 0%an for an e%ected non<0art# organi-ation3 with de%egate! who re0re!ented each a thou!and worker!. Fro' a writer na'ed Iordan!k# (%ater3 the $oviet a' a!!ador to Ita%#) I %earned3 on the da# of '# arriva%3 that the "en!hevik! had a%read# %aunched the !%ogan of an e%ected revo%utionar# organi-ation on the a!i! of one de%egate to five hundred 'en. +hi! wa! the right thing to do. +he 0art of the )o%!hevik *entra% *o''ittee then in $t. Peter! urg re!o%ute%# o00o!ed an e%ected non<0art# organi-ation ecau!e it wa! afraid of co'0etition with the 0art#. 1t the !a'e ti'e3 the )o%!hevik worker! were entire%# free of thi! fear. +he !ectarian attitude of the )o%!hevik %eader! toward the $oviet %a!ted unti% =enin>! arriva% in Nove' er. One cou%d write an in!tructive cha0ter on the %eader!hi0 of the =enini!t! without =enin. +he %atter towered !o high a ove hi! neare!t di!ci0%e! that in hi! 0re!ence the# fe%t that there wa! no need of their !o%ving theoretica% and tactica% 0ro %e'! inde0endent%#. 5hen the# ha00ened to e !e0arated fro' =enin at a critica% 'o'ent3 the# a'a-ed one # their utter he%0%e!!ne!!. +hi! wa! the !ituation in the autu'n of 19253 and again in the !0ring of 191;. In oth in!tance!3 a! in other! of %e!! i'0ortance hi!torica%%#3 the rank<and<fi%e of the 0art# !en!ed the correct %ine of action 'uch etter than did their !e'i<%eader! when the %atter were thrown on their own

re!ource!. =enin>! de%a# in arriving fro' a road wa! one of the thing! that 0revented the )o%!hevik faction fro' gaining a %eading 0o!ition in the event! of the fir!t revo%ution. I have a%read# 'entioned the fact that N.I. $edova had een 'ade 0ri!oner during a cava%r# raid on a "a#da# 'eeting in the wood!. $he !erved a out !i/ 'onth! in 0ri!on and wa! then !ent to %ive under 0o%ice !u0ervi!ion at +ver. 1fter the ?ctober !ani%esto3 !he returned to $t. Peter! urg. Hnder the na'e! of "r. and "r!. (ikenti#ev3 we rented a roo' in the a0art'ent of a 'an who turned out to e a ga' %er on the !tock e/change. )u!ine!! in the !tock<'arket wa! ad3 and 'an# a !0ecu%ator had to take in roo'er!. New! o#! rought u! a%% the 0u %i!hed 0a0er! ever# 'orning. Our %and%ord wou%d !o'eti'e! orrow the' fro' '# wife3 read the'3 and gna!h hi! teeth. Ai! affair! were con!tant%# getting wor!e. One da# he ur!t into our roo' waving a new!0a0er wi%d%#. 9=ook3? he #e%%ed3 a! he 0ointed hi! finger at '# new%# written artic%e 2ood #orning, St. 1etersburg 5anitors@ 9=ook3 the# are now reaching out for the @anitor!J If I ca'e acro!! the @ai% ird I wou%d !hoot hi' with thi! gunJ? 1nd he 0u%%ed a gun out of hi! 0ocket and !hook it in the air. Ae %ooked %ike a 'aniac. Ae wanted !#'0ath#. "# wife ca'e to '# office at the new!0a0er with thi! di!tur ing new!. 5e fe%t we had to %ook for new Cuarter!. )ut we didn>t have a free 'inuteD !o we tru!ted to fate. 5e !ta#ed on with thi! de!0airing !0ecu%ator unti% '# arre!t. Fortunate%#3 neither he nor the 0o%ice ever %earned the identit# of (ikenti#ev. 1fter '# arre!t our roo' wa! not even !earched. In the $oviet I wa! known # the na'e of Yanov!k#3 after the vi%%age in which I wa! orn. In the 0re!! I wrote a! +rot!k#. I had to work for three new!0a0er!. 5ith Parvu! I took over the tin# !"ssian 7a:ette and tran!for'ed it into a fighting organ for the 'a!!e!. 5ithin a few da#! the circu%ation ro!e fro' thirt# thou!and to one hundred thou!and. 1 'onth %ater3 it had reached the ha%f<'i%%ion 'ark. )ut our technica% re!ource! cou%d not kee0 u0 with the growth of the 0a0er. 5e were fina%%# e/tricated fro' our difficu%tie! # the govern'ent raid. On Nove' er 13 (IQ)3 in a%%iance with the "en!hevik!3 we had !tarted a ig 0o%itica% organ3 'a+halo (The 8e#innin#). +he 0a0er>! circu%ation wa! @u'0ing # %ea0! and ound!. 5ithout =enin3 the )o%!hevik 'o aya ;hi:n (The 'ew Life) wa! rather dra . +he 'a+halo3 on the other hand3 had a tre'endou! !ucce!!. I think thi! 0a0er3 'ore than an# other 0u %ication of the 0a!t ha%f<centur#3 re!e' %ed it! c%a!!ic 0rotot#0e3 the 'e"e !heinis+he ;eit"n#3 which wa! 0u %i!hed # "ar/ in 1GTG. Ka'enev3 one of the editor! of the 'o aya ;hi:n3 to%d 'e afterward how he watched the !a%e of new!0a0er! at the !tation! when he wa! 0a!!ing through # train. +he $t. Peter! urg train wa! awaited # end%e!! %ine!. +he de'and wa! on%# for revo%utionar# 0a0er!. 9'a+halo3 'a+halo3 'a+halo3? ca'e the cr# of the waiting crowd!. 9'o aya ;hiin3? and then again3 9'a+halo3 'a+halo3 'a+halo.? 9+hen I !aid to '#!e%f3 with a fee%ing of re!ent'ent3? Ka'enev confe!!ed3 9the# do write etter in the 'a+halo than we do.? )e!ide! the !"ssian 7a:ette and 'a+halo3 I a%!o wrote editoria%! for the 0: estia (The 'ews)3 the officia% $oviet organ3 a! we%% a! nu'erou! a00ea%!3 'anife!toe! and re!o%ution!. +he fift#<two da#! of the e/i!tence of the fir!t $oviet were fi%%ed to the ri' with work the $oviet3 the E/ecutive *o''ittee3 end%e!! 'eeting!3 and three new!0a0er!. Aow we 'anaged to %ive in thi! whir%0oo% i! !ti%% not c%ear3 even to 'e. )ut 'uch of the 0a!t !ee'! inconceiva %e ecau!e a! we re'e' er it we %o!e the e%e'ent of activit#D we %ook at our!e%ve! fro' out!ide. 5here a! in tho!e da#! we were !ufficient%# active. 5e not on%# whir%ed in the vorte/3 ut we he%0ed to

create it. Ever#thing wa! done in a hurr#3 ut3 after a%%3 not !o ad%#3 and !o'e thing! were even done ver# we%%. Our accounta %e editor3 an o%d de'ocrat3 8r. 8.". Aert-en!tein3 wou%d dro0 in !o'eti'e! at the 'a+halo office!3 dre!!ed in an i''acu%ate Prince 1% ert coat. Ae wou%d !tand in the 'idd%e of the roo' and watch our chao! affectionate%#. 1 #ear %ater he had to an!wer in court the charge! rought again!t hi' for the revo%utionar# fur# of a new!0a0er over which he had not the %ea!t inf%uence. +he o%d 'an did not renounce u!. On the contrar#3 with tear! in hi! e#e!3 he to%d the court how3 whi%e editing the 'o!t 0o0u%ar 0a 0er3 we fed our!e%ve! etween work on !ta%e 9piro7h$i? which the door'an rought3 wra00ed in 0a0er3 fro' the neare!t aker#. +he o%d 'an had to !erve a #ear in 0ri!on for the revo%ution which did not !ucceed3 for the N'igrN fraternit#3 and for !ta%e 9piro7h$i.? In hi! 'e'oir! 5itte wrote afterward that in 1925 9the va!t 'a@orit# of the 0eo0%e !ee'ed to go 'ad.? ,evo%ution a00ear! to a con!ervative a! co%%ective 'adne!! on%# ecau!e it rai!e! the 9nor'a%? in!anit# of !ocia% contradiction! to the highe!t 0o!!i %e ten!ion. 7u!t a! 0eo0%e di!%ike to recogni-e the'!e%ve! in a o%d caricature. 1nd #et the entire 'odern deve%o0'ent conden!e!3 !train!3 and accentuate! the contradiction! and 'ake! the' un eara %e3 con!eCuent%# 0re0aring that !tate of 'ind when the great 'a@orit# 9goe! 'ad.? )ut in !uch ca!e!3 the in!ane 'a@orit# 0ut! the !trait@acket on the !ane 'inorit#. +hank! to thi!3 hi!tor# kee0! 'oving a%ong. 1 revo%utionar# chao! i! not at a%% %ike an earthCuake or a f%ood. In the confu!ion of a revo%ution3 a new order egin! to take !ha0e in!tant%#D 'en and idea! di!tri ute the'!e%ve! natura%%# in new channe%!. ,evo%ution a00ear! a! utter 'adne!! on%# to tho!e who' it !wee0! a!ide and overthrow!. +o u! it wa! different. 5e were in our own e%e'ent3 a% eit a ver# !tor'# one. 1 ti'e and 0%ace wa! found for ever#thing. $o'e were even a %e to %ead 0er!ona% %ive!3 to fa%% in %ove3 to 'ake new friend! and actua%%# to vi!it revo%utionar# theatre!. Parvu!3 for in!tance3 wa! !o taken with a new !atirica% 0%a# that he ought fift# ticket! for the ne/t 0erfor'ance and invited hi! friend!. (I 'u!t e/0%ain that the da# efore he had een 0aid for hi! ook!.) 5hen he wa! arre!ted3 the 0o%ice found fift# theatre<ticket! in hi! 0ocket!3 and for a %ong ti'e racked their rain! over thi! revo%utionar# 0u--%e. +he# did not know that Parvu! did ever#thing on a %arge !ca%e. +he $oviet rou!ed great 'a!!e! of 0eo0%e. +he worker! !u00orted it to a 'an. In the countr#3 di!tur ance! continued3 a! the# did a'ong the troo0! who were returning ho'e fro' the Far Ea!t after the Peace of Port!'outh. )ut the guard! and the *o!!ack regi'ent! !tood fir'. 1%% the e%e'ent! that go to 'ake a !ucce!!fu% revo%ution were there3 ut the# did not 'ature. On Octo er 1G3 the da# after the 0ro'u%gation of the 'anife!to3 ten! of thou!and! of 0eo0%e were !tanding in front of the Hniver!it# of $t. Peter! urg3 arou!ed # the !trugg%e and into/icated with the @o# of their fir!t victor#. I !houted to the' fro' the a%con# not to tru!t an inco'0%ete victor#3 that the ene'# wa! !tu orn3 that there were tra0! aheadD I tore the *-ar>! 'anife!to into 0iece! and !cattered the' to the wind!. )ut !uch 0o%itica% warning! on%# !cratch the !urface of the 'a!! con!ciou!ne!!. +he 'a!!e! need the !choo%ing of ig event!. In thi! connection3 I re'e' er two !cene! during the %ife of the $t. Peter! urg $oviet. One wa! on Octo er I93 when the cit# wa! fi%%ed with ru'or! of 0ogro'! eing 0re0ared # the )%ack Aundred. +he de%egate! ca'e !traight fro' their work!ho0! to the 'eeting3 and !howed !a'0%e!

of the wea0on! that were eing 'ade # the worker! again!t the )%ack Aundred. +he# !hook their knive!3 knuck%e!3 dagger! and wire whi0! in the air3 ut 'ore in good hu'or than !eriou!%#3 and with 'uch @e!ting. +he# !ee'ed to e%ieve that their readine!! to face the ene'# wa! enough to !o%ve the 0ro %e'. "o!t of the' did not !ee' to rea%i-e that it wa! a %ife<or<death !trugg%e. )ut that the# %earned in the 8ece' er da#!. On the evening of 8ece' er 33 the $t. Peter! urg $oviet wa! !urrounded # troo0!. 1%% the e/it! and entrance! were c%o!ed. Fro' the a%con# where the E/ecutive *o''ittee wa! in !e!!ion3 I !houted down to the hundred! of de%egate! who were crowding the ha%%& 9No re!i!tance to e 'ade3 no ar'! to e !urrendered.? +he ar'! were revo%ver!. 1nd then3 in the 'eeting<ha%%3 a%read# !urrounded on a%% !ide! # detach'ent! of infantr#3 cava%r# and arti%%er#3 the worker! egan to wreck their ar'!. +he# did it with 0racti!ed hand!3 !triking a "au!er with a )rowning and a )rowning with a "au!er. 1nd thi! ti'e it did not have the !ound of a @e!t3 a! it had on Octo er I9. In the c%a!hing and creaking of twi!ting 'eta% one heard the gna!hing teeth of a 0ro%etariat who for the fir!t ti'e fu%%# rea%i-ed that a 'ore for'ida %e and 'ore ruth%e!! effort wa! nece!!ar# to overthrow and cru!h the ene'#. +he 0artia% victor# of the Octo er !trike had for 'e a tre'endou! theoretica% a! we%% a! 0o%itica% i'0ortance. It wa! not the o00o!ition of the %i era% bourgeoisie3 not the e%e'enta% ri!ing! of the 0ea!antr# or the terrori!t act! of the inte%%igent!ia3 ut the !trike of the worker! that for the fir!t ti'e rought *-ari!' to it! knee!. +he revo%utionar# %eader!hi0 of the 0ro%etariat revea%ed it!e%f a! an incontroverti %e fact. I fe%% that the theor# of 0er'anent revo%ution had with!tood it! fir!t te!t !ucce!!fu%%#. ,evo%ution wa! o viou!%# o0ening u0 to the 0ro%etariat the 0ro!0ect of !ei-ing the 0ower. +he #ear! of reaction which !oon fo%%owed fai%ed to 'ake 'e 'ove fro' thi! 0o!ition. )ut fro' the!e 0re'i!e! I a%!o drew '# conc%u!ion! a out the 5e!t. If the #oung 0ro%etariat of ,u!!ia cou%d e !o for'ida %e3 how 'ight# the revo%utionar# 0ower of the 0ro%etariat of the 'ore advanced countrie! wou%d eJ 5riting afterward in the ine/act and !%oven%# 'anner which i! 0ecu%iar to hi'3 =unachar!k# de!cri ed '# revo%utionar# conce0t a! fo%%ow!& 9*o'rade +rot!k# he%d in 1925 that the two revo%ution! (the ourgeoi! and !ocia%i!t)3 a%though the# do not coincide3 are ound to each other in !uch a wa# that the# 'ake a 0er'anent revo%ution. 1fter the# have entered u0on the revo%utionar# 0eriod through a ourgeoi! 0o%itica% revo%ution3 the ,u!!ian !ection of the wor%d3 a%ong with the re!t3 wi%% not e a %e to e!ca0e fro' thi! 0eriod unti% the $ocia% ,evo%ution ha! een co'0%eted. It cannot e denied that in for'u%ating thi! view *o'rade +rot!k# !howed great in!ight and vi!ion3 a% eit he erred to the e/tent of fifteen #ear!.? +he re'ark a out '# error of fifteen #ear! doe! not eco'e an# 'ore 0rofound through it! %ater re0etition # ,adek. 1%% our e!ti'ate! and !%ogan! of 1925 were a!ed on the a!!u'0tion of a victoriou! revo%ution3 and not of a defeat. 5e achieved then neither a re0u %ic nor a tran!fer of %and3 nor even an eight<hour da#. 8oe! it 'ean that we erred in 0utting the!e de'and! forwardE +he defeat of the revo%ution %anketed a%% 0ro!0ect! not 'ere%# tho!e which I had een e/0ounding. +he Cue!tion wa! not of the date! of revo%ution ut of the ana%#!i! of it! inner force! and of fore!eeing it! 0rogre!! a! a who%e.

5hat were the re%ation! etween =enin and 'e during the revo%ution of 1925E $ince hi! death the officia% hi!tor# ha! een revi!ed3 and for 1925 a! we%%3 a !trugg%e ha! een e!ta %i!hed etween the 0ower! of good and evi%. 5hat were the fact!E =enin took no active 0art in the work of the $oviet3 and he never !0oke there. It goe! without !a#ing that he watched it! ever# !te0 intent%#D he inf%uenced it! 0o%icie! through the re0re!entative! of the )o%!hevik faction and e/ 0ounded it! work in hi! 0a0er. +here wa! not a Cue!tion in which he di!agreed with the $oviet 0o%icie!. 1nd #et the docu'ent! are witne!!e! a%% the deci!ion! of the $oviet3 with the e/ce0tion 0erha0! of a few that were accidenta% and uni'0ortant3 were !ha0ed # 'eD I !u 'itted the' fir!t to the E/ecutive *o''ittee3 and then3 in it! na'e3 I 0%aced the' fore the $oviet. 5hen the federative co''i!!ion wa! for'ed of re0re!entative! of the )o%!hevik! and "en!hevik!3 again it wa! I who had to a00ear a! it! re0re!entative efore the E/ecutive *o''ittee. 1nd there wa! never a conf%ict in that connection. +he fir!t 0re!ident of the $oviet wa! e%ected efore '# arriva% fro' Fin%and. Ae wa! a #oung %aw#er3 Khru!ta%#ov3 an accidenta% figure in the revo%ution3 re0re!enting an inter'ediate !tage etween 4a0on and the $ocia% 8e'ocrac#. Khru!ta%#ov 0re!ided3 ut he had no rea% 0o%itica% %eader!hi0. 1fter hi! arre!t a 90re!idiu'? wa! e%ected3 and I wa! at the head of it. $verchkov3 one of the 0ro'inent 'e' er! of the $oviet3 write! in hi! 'e'oir!& 9+he inte%%ectua% %eader of the $oviet wa! =.8. +rot!k#. +he 0re!ident of the $oviet3 No!ar<Khru!ta%#ov3 wa! rea%%# a !creen3 for he wa! never a %e to !o%ve a !ing%e Cue!tion of 0rinci0%e hi'!e%f. 1 'an with an e/aggerated vanit# which wa! a%'o!t an i%%ne!! with hi'3 he ca'e to hate =.8. +rot!k# ecau!e of the ver# nece!!it# of referring to hi' for advice and direction.? =unachar!k# re%ate! in hi! 'e'oir!& 9I re'e' er !o'e od# !a#ing in =enin>! 0re!ence& P+he !tar of Khru!ta%#ov i! !etting. +o<da# the !trong 'an in the $oviet i! +rot!k#.> For a 'o'ent =enin>! e/0re!!ion !ee'ed to darkenD then he !aid3 P5e%%3 +rot!k# ha! won thi! # hi! tire%e!! and !triking work.>? +he re%ation! etween the editor! of the two 0a0er! were 'o!t friend%#. +he# engaged in no 0o%e'ic! again!t each other. 9+he fir!t nu' er of the 'a+halo ha! co'e out3? wrote the )o%!hevik 'o aya ;hi:n. 95e we%co'e a co'rade in the !trugg%e. +he fir!t i!!ue i! nota %e for the ri%%iant de!cri0tion of the Octo er !trike written # *o'rade +rot!k#.? Peo0%e don>t write in thi! wa# when the# are fighting with each other. )ut there wa! no fighting. On the contrar#3 the 0a0er! defended each other again!t ourgeoi! critici!'. +he 'o aya ;hi:n3 even after the arriva% of =enin3 ca'e out with a defen!e of '# artic%e! on the 0er'anent revo%ution. )oth new!0a0er!3 a! we%% a! the two faction!3 fo%%owed the %ine of the re!toration of 0art# unit#. +he centra% co''ittee of the )o%!hevik!3 with =enin 0artici0ating3 0a!!ed a unani'ou! re!o%ution to the effect that the !0%it wa! 'ere%# the re!u%t of the condition! of foreign e/i%e3 and the event! of the revo%ution had de0rived the factiona% !trugg%e of an# rea!ona %e ground!. I defended the !a'e %ine in the 'a+halo3 with on%# a 0a!!ive re!i!tance fro' "artov. Hnder the 0re!!ure of the 'a!!e!3 the "en!hevik! in the $oviet during it! fir!t 0eriod did their ut'o!t to kee0 in %ine with the %eft f%ank. 1 change in their 0o!ition took 0%ace on%# after the fir!t %ow of the reaction. In Fe ruar#3 192Q3 the %eader of the "en!hevik!3 "artov3 co'0%ained in a %etter to 1/e%rod& 9For two 'onth! now ... I have not een a %e to fini!h an# of the writing I have !tarted. It i! either neura!thenia or 'enta% fatigue ut I cannot gather '# thought! together.? "artov did not know what to ca%% hi! i%%ne!!. )ut it ha! Cuite a definite na'e& 9!enshe(is#.? In

an e0och of revo%ution3 o00ortuni!' 'ean!3 fir!t of a%%3 vaci%%ation and ina i%it# 9to gather one>! thought!.? 5hi%e the "en!hevik! were eginning to re0ent 0u %ic%# and to critici!e the 0o%ic# of the $oviet3 I defended that 0o%ic# in the ,u!!ian 0re!!3 and %ater in the 4er'an 0u %ication!3 a! we%% a! in the Po%i!h 'aga-ine edited # ,o!a =u/e' urg. Out of thi! !trugg%e for the 'ethod! and tradition! of 19253 ca'e '# ook3 at fir!t entit%ed !"ssia in the !e ol"tion3 and %ater re0rinted 'an# ti'e! in variou! countrie! under the tit%e of 190.. 1fter the Octo er revo%ution3 thi! ook wa! regarded a! the officia% te/t< ook of the 0art#3 not on%# in ,u!!ia3 ut a'ong the co''uni!t 0artie! in the 5e!t a! we%%. On%# after =enin>! death3 when a carefu%%# 0re0ared ca'0aign wa! !tarted again!t 'e3 did thi! ook of 'ine on 1925 co'e under fire. 1t fir!t the attack wa! confined to a few ca0tiou! re'ark!3 which were !orr# and trivia%. )ut gradua%%# the critici!' eca'e 'ore daringD it grew and 'u%ti0%ied3 eca'e 'ore invo%ved and arrogant3 and !ee'ed a%% the noi!ier ecau!e it had to !i%ence it! own di!tre!!. In thi! wa# wa! created the %egend of the !trugg%e of =enin>! and +rot!k#>! 0o%icie! during the revo%ution of 1925. +he revo%ution of 1925 'ade a reak in the %ife of the countr#3 in the %ife of the 0art#3 and in '# own %ife. +he reak wa! in the direction of greater 'aturit#. "# fir!t revo%utionar# work in Niko%a#ev wa! a 0rovincia% e/0eri'ent gro0ing%# carried out. +he e/0eri'ent did not go without %eaving a trace. Never in '# %ater %ife3 it !ee'!3 did I co'e into !uch inti'ate contact with the 0%ain worker! a! in Niko%a#ev. 1t that ti'e I had no 9na'e3? and there wa! nothing to !tand etween u!. +he 0rinci0a% t#0e! of the ,u!!ian 0ro%etariat i'0re!!ed the'!e%ve! on '# con!ciou!ne!! forever. In the #ear! that fo%%owed3 I encountered a%'o!t no one who wa! not a variant of one of the!e t#0e!. In 0ri!on3 I had to !tart '# revo%utionar# education a%'o!t fro' the 1)*>!. +wo and a ha%f #ear! in 0ri!on and two #ear! of e/i%e in $i eria gave 'e the theoretica% foundation! for a revo%utionar# view of %ife. "# fir!t !ta# a road wa! '# !choo% for 0o%itica% education. Hnder the guidance of di!tingui!hed "ar/i!t revo%utionarie!3 I wa! %earning to under!tand event! in a wide hi!torica% 0er!0ective and in their internationa% connection. +oward the end of '# foreign !ta#3 I cut '#!e%f adrift fro' oth of the %eading grou0!3 the )o%!hevik! and the "en!hevik!. I ca'e to ,u!!ia in Fe ruar# of 1925D the other N'igrN %eader! did not co'e unti% Octo er and Nove' er. 1'ong the ,u!!ian co'rade!3 there wa! not one fro' who' I cou%d %earn an#thing. On the contrar#3 I had to a!!u'e the 0o!ition of teacher '#!e%f. +he event! of the !tor'# #ear! were co'ing !wift%#3 one u0on the hee%! of another. One had to occu0# one>! 0o!ition there on the !0ot. 1 0roc%a'ation with the ink are%# dr# on it went !traight to the underground 0rinter!. +he theoretica% foundation! %aid in 0ri!on and in e/i%e3 the 0o%itica% 'ethod a!!i'i%ated a road3 now for the fir!t ti'e found 0ractica% a00%ication in war. I wa! confident in the face of event!. I under!tood their inner 'echani!'3 or at %ea!t !o I e%ieved. I vi!ua%i-ed their effect on the 'ind! of the worker!3 and envi!aged3 in it! 'ain feature!3 the ne/t da# to co'e. Fro' Fe ruar# to Octo er3 '# 0artici0ation in the event! wa! chief%# of a %iterar# nature. In Octo er3 I 0%unged head%ong into the gigantic whir%0oo%3 which3 in a 0er!ona% !en!e3 wa! the greate!t te!t for '# 0ower!. 8eci!ion! had to e 'ade under fire. I can>t he%0 noting here that tho!e deci!ion! ca'e to 'e Cuite o viou!%#. I did not turn ack to !ee what other! 'ight !a#3 and I ver# !e%do' had o00ortunit# to con!u%t an# od#D ever#thing had to e done in !uch a hurr#. =ater3 I o !erved with a!toni!h'ent and a !en!e of e!trange'ent how ever# event caught the c%evere!t of the "en!hevik!3 "artov3 unaware! and threw hi' into confu!ion. 5ithout thinking a out it there wa! too %itt%e ti'e %eft for !e%f<e/a'ination I organica%%# fe%t that '# #ear! of

a00rentice!hi0 were over3 a%though not in the !en!e that I !to00ed %earning. No the urge and wi%%ingne!! to %earn I have carried through '# who%e %ife in a%% their fir!t inten!it#. )ut in the #ear! that fo%%owed I have een %earning a! a 'a!ter %earn!3 and not a! a 0u0i%. 1t the ti'e of '# !econd arre!t I wa! IQ. 1nd the acknow%edg'ent of '# 'aturit# ca'e fro' o%d 8eut!ch3 who3 in 0ri!on3 !o%e'n%# fore!wore ca%%ing 'e 9#outh3? and addre!!ed 'e # '# fu%% na'e. In hi! ook )ilho"ettes3 a%read# Cuoted here3 and which i! now under a an3 =unachar!k# give! the fo%%owing e!ti'ate of the 0art! 0%a#ed # the %eader! of the fir!t revo%ution& 9Ai! L+rot!k#>!M 0o0u%arit# a'ong the $t. Peter! urg 0ro%etariat wa! ver# great # the ti'e of hi! arre!t3 and wa! increa!ed !ti%% further # hi! !triking%# effective LEM and heroic LEM ehavior at the tria%. I 'u!t !a# that +rot!k#3 of a%% the $ocia% 8e'ocratic %eader! of 19253 undou ted%# !howed hi'!e%f3 in !0ite of hi! #outh3 the e!t 0re0aredD and he wa! the %ea!t !ta'0ed # the narrow N'igrN out%ook which3 a! I !aid efore3 handica00ed even =enin. Ae rea%i-ed etter than the other! what a !tate !trugg%e i!. Ae ca'e out of the revo%ution3 too3 with the greate!t gain! in 0o0u%arit#D neither =enin nor "artov gained 'uch. P%ekhanov %o!t a great dea% ecau!e of the !e'i<%i era% tendencie! which he revea%ed. )ut +rot!k# fro' then on wa! in the front rank.? +he!e %ine!3 written in 19I33 are a%% the 'ore e/0re!!ive ecau!e to<da# =unachar!k#3 not ver# 9effective%#? and not ver# 9heroica%%#3? i! writing their e/act o00o!ite. No great work i! 0o!!i %e without intuition that i!3 without that !u con!ciou! !en!e which3 a%though it 'a# e deve%o0ed and enriched # theoretica% and 0ractica% work3 'u!t e in grained in the ver# nature of the individua%. Neither theoretica% education nor 0ractica% routine can re0%ace the 0o%itica% in !ight which ena %e! one to a00rehend a !ituation3 weigh it a! a who%e3 and fore!ee the future. +hi! gift take! on deci!ive i'0ortance at a ti'e of a ru0t change! and reak! the condition! of revo%ution. +he event! of 1925 revea%ed in 'e3 I e%ieve3 thi! revo%utionar# intuition3 and ena %ed 'e to re%# on it! a!!ured !u00ort during '# %ater %ife. I 'u!t add here that the error! which I have co''itted3 however i'0ortant the# 'a# have een and !o'e of the' were of e/tre'e i'0ortance a%wa#! referred to Cue!tion! that were not funda'enta% or !trategic3 ut dea%t rather with !uch derivative 'atter! a! organi-ation and 0o%ic#. In a%% con!cientiou!ne!!3 I cannot3 in the a00reciation of the 0o%itica% !ituation a! a who%e and of it! revo%utionar# 0er!0ective!3 accu!e '#!e%f of an# !eriou! error! of @udg'ent. In ,u!!ian %ife3 the revo%ution of 1925 wa! the dre!! rehear!a% for the revo%ution of 191;. +hat wa! it! !ignificance in '# 0er!ona% %ife a! we%%. I took 0art in the event! of 191; with a !o%ute re!o%ution and confidence3 ecau!e the# were 'ere%# a continuation and deve%o0'ent of the revo%utionar# activit# which had een interru0ted # the arre!t of the $t. Peter! urg $oviet on 8ece' er 33 1925. +he arre!t took 0%ace a da# after we had 0u %i!hed our !o<ca%%ed financia% 'anife!to3 which 0roc%ai'ed that the financia% ankru0tc# of *-ari!' wa! inevita %e3 and i!!ued a categorica% warning that the de t! incurred # the ,o'anov! wou%d not e recogni-ed # the victoriou! nation. 9+he autocrac# never en@o#ed the confidence of the 0eo0%e3? !aid the 'anife!to of the $oviet of 5orker!> 8e%egate!3 9and wa! never granted an# authorit# # the 0eo0%e. 5e have

therefore decided not to a%%ow the re0a#'ent of !uch %oan! a! have een 'ade # the *-ari!t govern'ent when o0en%# engaged in a war with the entire 0eo0%e.? +he French .ourse an!wered our 'anife!to a few 'onth! %ater with a new %oan of three<Cuarter! of a 'i%%ion franc!. +he %i era% and reactionar# 0re!! 0oured !arca!' over the i'0ortant threat of the $oviet again!t the *-ar>! finance! and the Euro0ean anker!. In %ater #ear!3 the 'anife!to wa! !ucce!!fu%%# forgotten ut it reca%%ed it!e%f to 'ind. +he financia% ankru0tc# of *-ari!'3 0re0ared for # it! who%e 0a!t hi!tor#3 coincided with the 'i%itar# debacle. 1nd %ater3 after the victorie! of the revo%ution3 the decree of the $oviet of Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie!3 i!!ued on Fe ruar# 123 191G3 dec%ared a%% the *-ari!t de t! annu%%ed. +hi! decree re'ain! in force even to thi! da#. It i! wrong to !a#3 a! !o'e do3 that the Octo er revo%ution doe! not recogni-e an# o %igation!& its own o %igation! the revo%ution recogni-e! to the fu%%. +he o %igation that it took u0on it!e%f on 8ece' er I3 19253 it carried out on Fe ruar# 123 191;. +he revo%ution i! fu%%# entit%ed to re'ind the creditor! of *-ari!'& 94ent%e'en3 #ou were warned in a'0%e ti'e.? In thi! re!0ect3 a! in other!3 the #ear 1925 wa! a 0re0aration for the #ear 191;.

'otes
1. +he date i! according to the 7u%ian ca%endar which wa! in u!e in ,u!!ia efore the ,evo%ution3 and corre!0ond! to Octo er 32 in the 4regorian ca%endar a difference of thirteen da#!. 5here a dou %e date i! Cuoted the one in 0arenthe!e! re0re!ent! the 4regorian ca%endar. B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <V

T!0AL- (<0L(- ()%AP(

+he !econd 0ri!on c#c%e egan. It wa! 'uch ea!ier to ear than the fir!t3 and the condition! were infinite%# 'ore to%era %e than tho!e of eight #ear! efore. I wa! in the 9Kre!t#? 0ri!on for a !hort ti'e3 then in the Peter<Pau% fortre!!3 and fina%%# in the Aou!e of Pre%i'inar# 8etention. )efore we were !ent to $i eria we were 'oved to a tran!fer<0ri!on. 1%together3 I wa! in 0ri!on for fifteen 'onth!. Each 0ri!on had it! 0ecu%iar feature! to which one had to ada0t one!e%f. )ut it wou%d e too du%% to dwe%% on the'3 for3 different a! the# were3 0ri!on! are rea%%# a%% a%ike. 1gain I entered on a 0eriod of !#!te'atic !cientific and %iterar# work. I !tudied the theor# of rent and the hi!tor# of !ocia% re%ation! in ,u!!ia. +he ig work on rent3 though !ti%% unfini!hed3 wa! %o!t during the fir!t #ear! after the Octo er revo%ution. +o 'e thi!

wa! a 'o!t tragic %o!!3 ne/t to that of '# work on free'a!onr#. "# !tudie! of the !ocia% hi!tor# of ,u!!ia were e' odied in an artic%e3 The !es"lts of the !e ol"tion and 0ts Pros2e+ts (0to#i Pers2e+ti i)3 which re0re!ent!3 for that 0eriod3 the 'o!t fini!hed !tate'ent in 0roof of the theor# of 0er'anent revo%ution. 1fter our tran!fer to the Aou!e of Pre%i'inar# 8etention3 %aw#er! were a%%owed to vi!it u!. +he fir!t 8u'a rought with it a !ti'u%ation of 0o%itica% %ife. +he new!0a0er! again grew daring. "ar/i!t 0u %i!hing enter0ri!e! took a new %ea!e on %ife. +he new condition! 'ade it 0o!!i %e to return to 'i%itant 0o%itica% writing. I wrote a great dea% in 0ri!onD the %aw#er! wou%d carr# '# 'anu!cri0t! out in their rief<ca!e!. "# 0a'0h%et3 Peter )tr" e in Politi+s3 e%ong! to thi! 0eriod. I worked over it with !uch -ea% that the wa%k! in the 0ri!on #ard !ee'ed an anno#ing dut# to 'e. +he 0a'0h%et3 which wa! directed again!t %i era%i!'3 wa! e!!entia%%# a defence of the $t. Peter! urg $oviet3 of the 8ece' er ar'ed u0ri!ing in "o!cow3 and of the revo%utionar# 0o%ic# in genera%3 a! o00o!ed to the critici!' # the o00ortuni!t!. +he )o%!hevik 0re!! received the 0a'0h%et in a decided%# friend%# 'annerD the "en!hevik 0re!! wa! !i%ent. +en! of thou!and! of co0ie! of the 0a'0h%et were !o%d within a few week!. 8. $verchkov3 who !hared '# i'0ri!on'ent with 'e3 %ater de!cri ed the 0ri!on 0eriod in hi! ook At the Dawn of the !e ol"tion. Ae wrote& 9=. 8. +rot!k#3 working under great 0re!!ure3 wrote and handed in for 0rinting 0art! of hi! ook3 >,u!!ia and the ,evo%ution3> a ook in which he definite%# advanced for the fir!t ti'e L1M the idea that the revo%ution which had !tarted in ,u!!ia cou%d not end unti% the $ocia%i!t regi'e wa! fu%fi%%ed. Ai! theor# of P0er'anent revo%ution3> a! it wa! ca%%ed3 wa! acce0ted # few3 ut he he%d fir'%# to hi! 0o!ition3 and even then di!cerned in the !tate of the wor%d a%% the !#'0to'! of deco'0o!ition of the ourgeoi!< ca0ita%i!t econo'#3 and the re%ative nearne!! of the $ocia%i!t ,evo%ution ...? 9+rot!k#>! 0ri!on ce%%3? continued $verchkov3 9!oon eca'e tran!for'ed into a !ort of %i rar#. Ae wa! !u00%ied with a%% the new ook! that de!erved attentionD he read the' a%%3 and the entire da#3 fro' 'orning unti% %ate at night3 he wa! occu0ied with hi! %iterar# work. PI fee% !0%endid3> he wou%d !a# to u!. PI !it and work and fee% 0erfect%# !ure that I can>t e arre!ted. You wi%% agree that under the condition! in *-ari!t ,u!!ia3 that i! rather an unu!ua% !en!ation.>? For re%a/ation3 I read the Euro0ean c%a!!ic!. 1! I %a# in '# 0ri!on unk I a !or ed the' with the !a'e !en!e of 0h#!ica% de%ight that the gour'et ha! in !i00ing choice wine! or in inha%ing the fragrant !'oke of a fine cigar. +he!e were '# e!t hour!. +he trace! of '# c%a!!ica% !tudie!3 in the !ha0e of e0igra0h! and Cuotation!3 were evident in a%% of '# 0o%itica% writing! at that ti'e. It wa! then for the fir!t ti'e that I rea%%# acCuainted '#!e%f with the 9grands seigneurs? of the French nove% in their origina% French. +he art of !tor#<te%%ing i! 0ri'ari%# French. 1%though I know 4er'an 0erha0! !o'ewhat etter than French3 e!0ecia%%# a! regard! !cientific ter'ino%og#. I read French fiction 'ore ea!i%# than 4er'an. +o thi! da# I have retained '# %ove for the French nove%. Even in a rai%wa#<car during the civi% war3 I found ti'e to read the %ate!t one!. +aking it a%% in a%%3 I can hard%# co'0%ain a out '# %ife in 0ri!on. It wa! a good !choo% for 'e. I %eft the her'etica%%# !ea%ed ce%% of !o%itar# confine'ent in the Peter<Pau% fortre!! with a tinge of regretD it wa! !o Cuiet there3 !o event%e!!3 !o 0erfect for inte%%ectua% work. +he Aou!e of Pre%i'inar# 8etention wa!3 on the contrar#3 fi%%ed with 0eo0%e and u!t%e. Not a few there were

!entenced to deathD terrori!t act! and !o<ca%%ed ar'ed 9e/0ro0riation!? were !wee0ing the countr#. +he 0ri!on regi'e3 on account of the fir!t 8u'a3 wa! ver# %i era%D the ce%%! were not %ocked during the da#3 and we cou%d take our wa%k! a%% together. For hour! at a ti'e we wou%d go into ra0ture! over 0%a#ing %ea0<frog. +he 'en conde'ned to death wou%d %ea0 and offer their ack! a! we%% a! the re!t of u!. "# wife ca'e to vi!it 'e twice a week. +he officia%! on dut# winked at our e/change of %etter! and 'anu!cri0t!. One of the'3 a 'idd%e<aged 'an3 wa! e!0ecia%%# we%% di!0o!ed toward u!. 1t hi! reCue!t3 I 0re!ented hi' with a co0# of '# ook and '# 0hotogra0h with an in!cri0tion. 9"# daughter! are a%% co%%ege !tudent!3? he whi!0ered de%ighted%#3 a! he winked '#!teriou!%# at 'e. I 'et hi' %ater under the $oviet3 and did what I cou%d for hi' in tho!e #ear! of fa'ine. Parvu! wa%ked with o%d 8eut!ch in the 0ri!on #ard. I @oined the' occa!iona%%#. +here i! a 0hotogra0h !howing a%% three of u! in the 0ri!on kitchen. +he indefatiga %e 8eut!ch wa! 0%anning a who%e!a%e e!ca0e for u! and ea!i%# won Parvu! over3 in!i!ting that I @oin the' too. I re!i!ted ecau!e I wa! attracted # the 0o%itica% i'0ortance of the tria% ahead. +oo 'an# 0eo0%e were inc%uded in the 0%an!3 however. In the 0ri!on %i rar# where the# con!0ired3 one of the guard! di!covered a !et of too%!. +he 0ri!on ad'ini!tration hu!hed the affair u03 ecau!e the !ecret 0o%ice were !u!0ected of 0%anting the too%! there to ring a out a change in the 0ri!on regi'e. 1nd3 after a%%3 8eut!ch had to effect hi! fourth e!ca0e not fro' the 0ri!on ut fro' $i eria. +he factiona% di!agree'ent! in the 0art# were !har0%# renewed after the defeat in 8ece' er. +he high<handed di!!o%ution of the 8u'a rai!ed a%% the 0ro %e'! of the revo%ution anew. I 'ade the' the !u @ect of a 0a'0h%et on tactic!3 which =enin 0u %i!hed through a )o%!hevik 0u %i!hing hou!e. +he "en!hevik! were a%read# eating a retreat a%ong the entire front. In 0ri!on3 however3 the factiona% re%ation! had not #et reached the acute !tage which the# had in the wor%d out!ide3 and we were a %e to 0u %i!h a co%%ective work dea%ing with the $t. Peter! urg $oviet in which !o'e of the "en!hevik! !ti%% a00eared a! contri utor!. +he tria% of the $oviet of 5orker!> 8e%egate! o0ened on $e0te' er 193 192Q3 in the ear%# da#! of $to%#0in>! court<'artia% @u!tice. +he #ard of the court ui%ding and the ad@oining !treet! were turned into a 'i%itar# ca'0. 1%% the 0o%ice of $t. Peter! urg were 'o i%i!ed. )ut the tria% it!e%f wa! carried on with a certain a'ount of freedo'D the reactionar# govern'ent wa! out to di!grace 5itte # e/0o!ing hi! 9%i era%i!'3? hi! weakne!! in dea%ing with the revo%ution. 1 out four hundred witne!!e! were ca%%edD and 'ore than two hundred witne!!e! ca'e and offered evidence. 5orker!3 'anufacturer!3 'e' er! of the !ecret 0o%ice3 engineer!3 !ervant!3 citi-en!3 @ourna%i!t!3 0o!t<office officia%!3 0o%ice chief!3 gy#nasiu# !tudent!3 'unici0a% counci%%or!3 @anitor!3 !enator!3 hoo%igan!3 de0utie!3 0rofe!!or!3 !o%dier!3 a%% 0a!!ed in fi%e during the 'onth of the tria%3 and3 under the cro!!fire of the @udge!> ench3 of the 0ro!ecution3 of the attorne#! for the defence3 and of the defendant! e!0ecia%%# the %atter recon!tructed3 %ine # %ine3 and !troke # !troke3 the activit# of the worker!> $oviet. +he defendant! gave their e/0%anation!. I !0oke of the i'0ortance in the revo%ution of an ar'ed u0ri!ing. +he chief o @ective wa! therefore o tained3 and when the court refu!ed our de'and to ca%% to the witne!!<!tand $enator =o0ukhin3 who in the autu'n of 1925 had o0ened a 0rinting<0re!! in the Po%ice 8e0art'ent to di!!e'inate 0ogro' %iterature3 we roke u0 the tria% # forcing the court to take u! ack to 0ri!on. +he coun!e% for the defence3 the witne!!e! and the 0u %ic a%% %eft the court<roo' after u!D the @udge! re'ained a%one with the 0ro!ecutor. +he# 0a!!ed the verdict in our a !ence. +he !tenogra0hic re0ort of thi!

uniCue tria%3 which %a!ted for a 'onth3 ha! not een 0u %i!hed3 and it !ee'! that to thi! da# it ha! not even een %ocated. +he 'o!t e!!entia% fact! a out the tria% I re%ated in '# ook 190.. "# father and 'other were at the tria%. +heir thought! and e'otion! were divided. It wa! now i'0o!!i %e to e/0%ain awa# '# conduct a! a o#>! foo%i!hne!!3 a! the# had in '# Niko%a#ev da#! when I %ived in $hvigov!k#>! garden. I wa! an editor of new!0a0er!3 the chair'an of the $oviet3 and I had a na'e a! a writer. +he o%d cou0%e were i'0re!!ed # a%% thi!. "# 'other tried to ta%k with the %aw#er! for the defence3 ho0ing to hear further co'0%i'entar# re'ark! a out 'e fro' the'. 8uring '# !0eech3 which !he cou%d !carce%# under!tand3 !he we0t !i%ent%#. $he we0t 'ore when a !core of attorne#! for the defence ca'e u0 to !hake '# hand. One of the %aw#er! for the defence had de'anded a te'0orar# ad@ourn'ent efore that3 ecau!e of the genera% e/cite'ent cau!ed # '# !0eech. +hi! wa! 1.6. 6arudn#D in Keren!k#>! govern'ent3 he wa! the "ini!ter of 7u!tice and ke0t 'e in 0ri!on on a charge of !tate trea!on. )ut that ha00ened ten #ear! %ater. 8uring the interva%! of the tria% the o%d fo%k! %ooked at 'e ha00i%#. "# 'other wa! !ure that I wou%d not on%# e acCuitted3 ut even given !o'e 'ark of di!tinction. I tried to 0er!uade her to 0re0are for a !entence to hard<%a our. $o'e what frightened and 0u--%ed # a%% thi!3 !he ke0t %ooking fro' 'e to the %aw#er! a! if tr#ing to under!tand how !uch a thing cou%d e 0o!!i %e. "# father wa! 0a%e3 !i%ent3 ha00# and di!tre!!ed3 a%% in one. 5e were de0rived of a%% civic right! and !entenced to enforced !ett%e'ent in e/i%e. +hi! wa! a co'0arative%# 'i%d 0uni!h'ent. 5e were e/0ecting hard<%a our. )ut enforced !ett%e'ent in e/i%e i! Cuite a different thing fro' the ad'ini!trative e/i%e to which I had een !entenced the fir!t ti'e. +he enforced !ett%e'ent wa! for an indefinite 0eriod3 and ever# atte'0t at e!ca0e carried the additiona% 0uni!h'ent of three #ear! at hard<%a our. +he fort#<five !troke! with the %a!h which u!ed to go with thi! had een a o%i!hed !evera% #ear! efore. 9It i! a out two or three hour! !ince we ca'e to the tran!fer 0ri!on3? I wrote to '# wife on 7anuar# 33 192;. 9I confe!! I 0arted with '# ce%% in the 8etention Aou!e not without nervou!ne!!. I had eco'e !o u!ed to that tin# cu ic%e in which there wa! ever# chance for 'e to work. In the tran!fer 0ri!on3 we knew we wou%d a%% e 0%aced in the !a'e ce%% what cou%d e 'ore tire!o'eE 1nd after that the fa'i%iar dirt3 the u!t%e3 and the !tu0id 'udd%ing of the @ourne# to e/i%e. 5ho know! how %ong it wi%% take efore we reach our de!tinationE 1nd who can te%% when we wi%% returnE 5ou%dn>t it have een etter if I cou%d have !ta#ed a! I wa! in ce%% No.TQI3 reading3 writing3 and waitingE 95e have een rought here toda# une/0ected%#3 without notice. In the rece0tion<ha%% we were ordered to change into the 0ri!on c%othe!. 5e did !o with a%% the curio!it# of !choo% o#!. It wa! intere!ting to !ee one another in the gra# trou!er!3 the gre# coat!3 and gre# ca0!. +here wa! no dia'ond of c%a!!ic fa'e on the ack! of the!e3 however. 5e were a%%owed to kee0 our own underwear and oot!. 5e returned to our ce%% in our new co!tu'e!3 a great3 e/cited crowd.? "# kee0ing '# oot! wa! of no !'a%% i'0ortance to 'e3 for in the !o%e of one I had a fine 0a!!0ort3 and in the high hee%! go%d 0iece!. 5e were a%% to e !ent to the vi%%age of O dor!k3 far within the 1rctic circ%e. +he di!tance fro' O dor!k to the rai%wa#<%ine wa! fifteen hundred

(ersts3 and to the neare!t te%egra0h<!tation eight hundred. +he 'ai% co'e! once a fortnight there. 5hen the road! are ad3 in !0ring and autu'n3 it doe! not co'e at a%% for !i/ or eight week!. E/ce0tiona% 'ea!ure! were taken to guard u! during the @ourne#. 1 $t. Peter! urg convo# wa! not con!idered re%ia %e. 1nd3 indeed3 the !ergeant on guard3 hi! !word un!heathed3 dec%ai'ed the %ate!t revo%utionar# 0oe'! to u! in our convict car. +he ad@oining car carried a 0%atoon of !ecret 0o%ice who !urrounded our car at ever# !to0. 1t the !a'e ti'e3 the 0ri!on officia%! treated u! with the ut'o!t con!ideration. ,evo%ution and counter<revo%ution were !ti%% in the a%ance3 and no od# knew which !ide wa! to win. +he officer of the convo# egan # !howing u! the order fro' hi! !u0erior! authori!ing hi' not to handcuff u!3 a! the %aw de'and!. On 7anuar# 113 during the @ourne#3 I wrote to '# wife& 9If the officer i! con!iderate and civi%3 the %ower rank! are even 'ore !oD near%# a%% of the' have read the re0ort! of our tria%3 and the# treat u! with e/tre'e !#'0ath#. +he !o%dier! did not know who' the# wou%d e taking3 or where the# wou%d e taking the'3 unti% the %a!t 'o'ent. Fro' the 0recautionar# 'ea!ure! which acco'0anied their !udden tran!fer fro' "o!cow to $t. Peter! urg3 the# conc%uded that the# were to take !o'e 0ri!oner! conde'ned to death to $chhi!!e% urg. In the rece0tion<ha%% of the tran!fer<0ri!on3 I noticed that the !o%dier! of the convo# were ver# e/cited3 and !ee'ed3 in rather an odd wa#3 an/iou! to e o %iging3 a! if the# fe%t gui%t# of !o'ething. It wa! on%# in the train that I %earned wh#. +he# were terri %# 0%ea!ed when the# di!covered that their charge! were worker!> de%egate! !entenced on%# to e/i%e. +he !ecret 0o%ice who act a! a !u0er<convo# never !how the'!e%ve! in our car. +he# kee0 guard out!ide3 !urround the car at the !tation3 !tand at the out!ide door3 ut it wou%d !ee' that their e!0ecia% watch i! the convo#<'en.? Our %etter! fro' the road were !ecret%# 'ai%ed # the !o%dier! of the convo#. On the rai%wa#3 we went a! far a! +iu'en. Fro' there we continued # hor!e. +o guard the fourteen 0ri!oner! there were fift#<two !o%dier!3 in addition to a ca0tain3 a !enior 0o%ice officer3 and a 0o%ice !ergeant. +he 0art# had a out fort# !%eigh!. +he route fro' +iu'en via +o o%!k wa! # wa# of the river O . 9Ever# da#3? I wrote to '# wife3 9we have een going fro' 92 to 122 (ersts farther north3 that i!3 near%# one degree. Owing to thi! continuou! advance3 the %e!!ening of cu%ture3 if one 'a# !0eak of cu%ture in thi! ca!e3 eco'e! !triking%# evident. Ever# da# we de!cend one degree farther into the kingdo' of co%d and ar ari!'. 1fter we had cro!!ed di!trict! co'0%ete%# infected with t#0hu!3 on Fe ruar# 1I3 the thirt#<third da# of our @ourne#3 we reached )ere-ov3 the 0%ace in which Prince "en!hikov3 *-ar Peter>! right<hand 'an at one ti'e3 had %ived in e/i%e. In )ere-ov a two<da# ha%t wa! announced. +here wa! !ti%% an other 522 ver!t! to e 'ade efore we got to O dor!k. 5e wa%ked a out in co'0%ete freedo'. Our guardian! had no fear of atte'0t! at e!ca0e. +he on%# wa# ack wa! # the river O 3 a%ong the te%egra0h<%ineD an# runawa# wou%d have een caught. 1'ong the re!ident! in )ere-ov wa! the %and<!urve#or3 ,o!hkov!k#. I di!cu!!ed the Cue!tion of e!ca0e with hi'3 and he to%d 'e that one 'ight tr# to fo%%ow a !traight cour!e due we!t a%ong the river $o!va in the direction of the Hra%!3 going # deer a! far a! the 'ining !ett%e'ent!3 then getting on to a narrow< gauge rai%wa# at the )ogo!%ov!k# 'ine! and trave%%ing to Ku!hva3 the @unction with the Per' %ine. 1nd then Per'3 (iatka3 (o%ogda3 $t. Peter! urg3 Ae%!ingfor! ...

+here were no road! a%ong the $o!va3 however. )e#ond )ere-ov the countr# i! utter%# wi%d. For thou!and! of (ersts there are no 0o%ice3 and not a !ing%e ,u!!ian !ett%e'ent3 on%# occa!iona% O!t#ak hut!. No !ign of a te%egra0h. +here are no hor!e! a%ong the entire route3 a! the track i! e/c%u!ive%# for deer<trave%. +he 0o%ice cou%d not overtake one3 ut there wa! the 0o!!i i%it# of getting %o!t in the wi%derne!! and 0eri!hing in the !now. 1nd it wa! Fe ruar#3 the 'onth of %i--ard!. 8r. Feit3 an o%d ,evo%utionar# and a 'e' er of our grou0 of 0ri!oner!3 taught 'e how to !i'u%ate !ciatica in order to e a %e to !ta# in )ere-ov for a few 'ore da#!. I carried out thi! 'ode!t 0art of the 0%an !ucce!!fu%%#. $ciatica3 a! i! known3 cannot e verified. I wa! 0%aced in a ho!0ita%. +he regi'e there i'0o!ed no re!triction whatever on 'e. 5hen I fe%t 9 etter3? I wou%d go out for !evera% hour! at a ti'e. +he doctor encouraged 'e to wa%k. 1! I !aid3 no od# wa! afraid of an# atte'0t to e!ca0e at thi! ti'e of the #ear. I had to 'ake u0 '# 'ind. I decided in favour of the we!tern route3 !traight acro!! to the Hra%!. ,o!hkov!k# o tained the advice of a %oca% 0ea!ant nickna'ed 9+he 4oat>! Foot.? +hi! dr#3 inte%%igent %itt%e 'an organi-ed the e!ca0e3 Cuite di!intere!ted%#. 5hen hi! 0art wa! di!covered %ater on3 he wa! !evere%# 0uni!hed. 1fter the Octo er revo%ution3 9+he 4oat>! Foot? did not %earn for !o'e ti'e that I wa! the 'an he had he%0ed to e!ca0e ten #ear! efore. On%# in 19I3 did he co'e to 'e in "o!cow3 and our 'eeting wa! ver# friend%#. Ae wa! given the fu%%<dre!! unifor' of the ,ed 1r'#3 taken around to the theatre!3 and 0re!ented with a gra'o0hone and other gift!. $hort%# after thi! the o%d 'an died in hi! far<awa# North. +he @ourne# fro' )ere-ov had to e 'ade # deer. +he difficu%t# wa! to find a guide who wou%d ri!k the certain danger of a tri0 at that ti'e of #ear. 9+he 4oat>! Foot? found a 6#r#an3 a c%ever and e/0erienced fe%%ow3 %ike a%% the 6#r#an!. 9I! he a ti00%erE? 9Of cour!e3 a frightfu% ti00%er. )ut he !0eak! ,u!!ian and 6#r#an f%uent%#3 and two O!t#ak dia%ect! which are%# re!e' %e each other. 1nother driver %ike hi' i! not to e found a !hrewd one3 he i!.? It wa! thi! !hrewd fe%%ow who afterward gave 9+he 4oat>! Foot? awa#. )ut he got 'e awa# !ucce!! fu%%#. LIM +he de0arture wa! !et for $unda# at 'idnight. +hat da# the officia%! were having a'ateur theatrica%!. I a00eared at the arrack!3 which !erved a! the i'0rovi!ed theatre3 and when I 'et the %oca% chief of 0o%ice I to%d hi' that I fe%t 'uch etter and wou%d e a %e to %eave !hort%# for O dor!k. +hi! wa! a ru!e3 ut a nece!!ar# one. 5hen the church< e%%! !truck twe%ve3 I !to%e into 9+he 4oat>! Foot>!? #ard. +he !%eigh wa! waiting. I !tretched '#!e%f on the otto' and %a# on '# !0are fur coatD 9+he 4oat>! Foot? !0read fro-en ha# over 'e3 ound it with a ro0e3 and we !et off. +he ha# thawed3 and co%d water dri00ed on '# face. 1fter we had driven for a few (ersts3 we !to00ed. 9+he 4oat>! Foot? un ound the ha#3 and I got out. +hen he whi!t%ed.

$evera% 'en an!wered hi'3 in voice! that were a%a!J Cuite un'i!taka %# drunken. +he 6#r#an wa! drunk3 and he had rought hi! friend! with hi'. +hi! wa! a ad !tart3 ut there wa! no choice. I wa! tran!ferred with '# !'a%% %uggage to a %ight deer<!%eigh. I had on two fur coat! B one had fur in !ide3 the other out!ide fur !tocking!3 fur oot!3 a dou %e<%ined fur ca03 and fur g%ove!D in !hort3 the co'0%ete winter out fit of an O!t#ak. In '# ag I carried a few ott%e! of %iCuor3 the e!t 'ediu' of e/change in a de!ert of !now. 9Fro' the fire %ookout in )ere-ov3? $verchkov re%ate! in hi! 'e'oir!3 9one cou%d !ee a%% 'ove'ent! to and fro' the town over the white e/0an!e of !now for at %ea!t a (erst around. It wa! on%# rea!ona %e to e/0ect the 0o%ice to Cue!tion the fire'an on dut# whether he had !een an# od# driving out of town that night. 1cting on thi! 0re!u'0tion3 ,o!hkov!k# arranged for one of the %oca% 'en to take a !%aughtered ca%f down the +o o%!k road. 1! we antici0ated3 the 'ove wa! detected3 and when +rot!k#>! e!ca0e wa! di!covered two da#! %ater3 the 0o%ice ru!hed after the ca%f and %o!t two 'ore da#! in thi! wa#.? )ut I on%# %earned of thi! 'uch %ater. 5e took the cour!e a%ong the $o!va. +he deer that '# guide had ought were the 0ick of a herd of !evera% hundred. Ear%# in the @ourne# the drunken driver had a wa# of fa%%ing a!%ee0 freCuent%#3 and then the deer wou%d !to0. +hi! 0ro'i!ed trou %e for oth of u!. In the end he did not even an!wer when I 0oked hi'. +hen I took off hi! ca03 hi! hair Cuick%# fro-e3 and he egan to !o er u0. 5e drove on. It wa! a 'agnificent ride through a de!ert of virgin !now a%% covered with fir<tree! and 'arked with the foot0rint! of ani'a%!. +he deer ke0t u0 a %ive%# trot3 their tongue! out at the !ide3 reathing heavi%# with a 9chu<chu chu<chu.? +he track wa! narrow3 the ea!t! herded c%o!e together3 and it wa! a wonder the# did not get in each other>! wa#. 1'a-ing creature!3 knowing no hunger or fatigueJ +he# had had no food for twent#<four hour! efore our !udden de0arture3 and it wa! another twent#<four hour! fro' the ti'e we !tarted efore the# got an#. 1ccording to the driver3 the# were @u!t getting into their !tride. +he# ran even%#3 without effort3 at a !0eed of eight to ten (ersts an hour. +he# found their own food. 1 %og of wood wa! tied a out their neck!3 and the# were %et %oo!eD the# cho!e a 0%ace where the# !en!ed the 0re!ence of 'o!! under the !now3 dug dee0 ho%e! with their hoof!3 going in a%'o!t to the to0! of their ear!3 and then fed the'!e%ve!. I had the !a'e fee%ing for the!e ani'a%! that an aviator 'u!t have for hi! 'otor when he f%ie! over an ocean at an a%titude of !evera% hundred feet. +he %eader of the three deer went %a'e. 5e were 'uch u0!et a out itD he had to e changed. 5e %ooked around for an O!t#ak !ett%e'ent. +he# are !cattered here3 'an# ver!t! awa# fro' each other. "# guide wou%d find ca'0! # a%'o!t i'0erce0ti %e !ign! !evera% (ersts awa# he cou%d !'e%% the odor of !'oke. +he changing of the deer %o!t u! another fu%% da#. )ut3 on the other hand3 I wa! %uck# enough to !ee a eautifu% thing at dawn& three O!t#ak!3 riding fu%%<ti%t3 %a!!oed !o'e deer3 a%read# 'arked3 fro' their herd of !evera% hundred whi%e the dog! drove the deer toward the'. 5e drove on again through wood!3 over !now<covered !wa'0!3 and through va!t fore!t! that had een de!tro#ed # fire!. 5e oi%ed !now for water3 !at on the !now and drank tea. "# guide 0referred %iCuor3 ut I !aw to it that he did not over<indu%ge.

1%though it %ook! a%wa#! the !a'e3 the road i! con!tant%# changing3 and the deer know it. Now we are going through an o0en fie%d3 etween the irch wood! and the river. +he road i! terri %e. )ehind u!3 the wind %ow! awa# the narrow track which the !%eigh ha! %eft. +he third deer kee0! 'i!!ing the trai%. Ae !ink! in the !now u0 to hi! e%%# and even dee0er3 'ake! a few de!0erate %ea0!3 c%i' ! to the road3 0u!he! again!t the 'idd%e one and knock! the %eader off the track. In another 0%ace the road3 war'ed # the !un3 i! !o difficu%t that the !tra0! on the front !%ed !na0 twice3 and at each !to0 the !%ed! free-e to the trackD it i! on%# with 'uch effort that the# can e 'ade to 'ove again. 1fter the fir!t two run!3 the deer !ee' tired. )ut now the !un ha! !et3 the road i! fro-en over3 and driving i! etter again. $oft3 ut not 'u!h# the 'o!t 9 u!ine!!<%ike? road3 a! the driver e/0re!!e! it. +he deer trot on a%'o!t noi!e%e!!%#3 and 0u%% the !%eigh without effort. In the end3 we have to unharne!! the third deer and tie hi' ehind ecau!e ea!# driving 'ake! the' 0rance a out3 and the# 'ight !'a!h the !%eigh. +he !%eigh g%ide! !'ooth%# and in !i%ence3 %ike a oat on a cr#!ta%<c%ear %ake. In the darkening twi%ight the wood! !ee' even 'ore gigantic. I cannot !ee the roadD the 'ove'ent of the !%eigh i! hard%# 0erce0ti %e. +he enchanted tree! ru!h toward u!3 the u!he! run awa# on the !ide!3 !%i' irche! and o%d !tu'0! covered with !now f%# 0a!t u!. Ever# thing i! fi%%ed with '#!ter#. *hu<chu<chu< chu re!ound! the even reathing of the deer in the wooded !i%ence of the night. +he @ourne# %a!ted a week. 5e had done ;22 ki%o'etre! and were nearing the Hra%!D we were 'eeting who%e train! of !%eigh! 'ore often now. I 0o!ed a! an engineer and a 'e' er of the 0o%ar e/0edition of )aron +o%. Near the Hra%!3 we 'et a c%erk who had worked on thi! e/0edition and knew it! 'e' er!. Ae overwhe%'ed 'e with Cue!tion!. Fortunate%# he wa! not Cuite !o er. I tried to get out of thi! fi/ with the aid of a ott%e of ru' which I had taken for u!e in e'ergenc#. Ever#thing went off eautifu%%#. Once in the Hra%!3 I trave%%ed # hor!e. Now I 0o!ed a! an officia% and3 together with an e/ci!e contro%%er who wa! !urve#ing hi! di!trict3 fina%%# reached the narrow<gauge rai%wa#. +he !ecret 0o%ice at the !tation %ooked on indifferent%# a! I e/tricated '#!e%f fro' '# O!t#ak fur coat!. "# 0o!ition on the %oca% Hra% %ine wa! !ti%% far fro' !ecureD on that %ine3 where ever# 9!tranger? i! noticed3 I 'ight ea!i%# e arre!ted # ca %ed in!truction! fro' +o o%!k. I went on fearfu%%#. )ut a da# %ater3 when I found '#!e%f in a co'forta %e car of the Per' rai%wa#3 I egan at once to fee% a! if '# ca!e were won. +he train 0a!!ed through the !a'e !tation! at which we had een received with !uch !o%e'n cere'onie! # the !ecret 0o%ice3 guard!3 and %oca% 0o%ice chief!3 not !o %ong ago. )ut now '# wa# %a# in a different direction3 and I wa! trave%%ing with different e'otion!. For the fir!t few 'inute! the a%'o!t e'0t# car !ee'ed too crowded and !tuff#3 and I went out onto the front 0%atfor'3 where the wind wa! %owing3 and it wa! dark. 1 %oud cr# ur!t fro' 'e !0ontaneou!%# a cr# of @o# and freedo'. 1t one of the neare!t !to0!3 I te%egra0hed '# wife to await 'e at the !tation at the @unction<0oint. $he had not een e/0ecting thi! te%egra'3 at %ea!t not !o !oon. 1nd no wonderJ Our tri0 to )ere-ov had taken over a 'onth. $t. Peter! urg 0a0er! were fu%% of re0ort! of our 0rogre!! toward the NorthD re0ort! were !ti%% arriving # 'ai%. Ever# od# thought that I wa! on '# wa# to O dor!k. 1nd #et I had 'ade the entire return @ourne# in e%even da#!. O viou!%#3 the 0o!!i i%it# of 'eeting 'e near $t. Peter! urg 'u!t have !ee'ed utter%# incredi %e to '# wife. +hat wa! a%% the etter3 and the 'eeting took 0%ace @u!t the !a'e.

+hi! i! how N.I. $edova de!cri ed it& 95hen I received the te%egra' in +erioki3 a Finni!h vi%%age near $t. Peter! urg where I wa! !ta#ing a%one with '# a # !on3 I wa! e!ide '# !e%f with @o# and e/cite'ent. +hat !a'e da#3 I received a %ong %etter fro' =.8. written on hi! wa# to e/i%e3 in which3 a!ide fro' it! de!cri0tion of the @ourne#3 he a!ked 'e to take with 'e when I %eft for O dor!k a nu' er of artic%e! nece!!ar# in the north3 a'ong the' certain ook!. It now %ooked a! if he had changed hi! 'ind and wa! f%#ing ack in !o'e '#!teriou! wa#3 and wa! even arranging for 'e to 'eet hi' at a !tation where the train! cro!!. )ut !trange%# enough3 the na'e of the !tation wa! %eft out of the te%egra'. Ne/t da# I went to $t. Peter! urg and tried to find out fro' the rai%wa# guide what !tation I had to ook a ticket for. I wa! afraid to 'ake inCuirie!3 and fina%%# !et off on '# @ourne# without knowing the na'e of the !tation. I ooked for (iatka and %eft in the evening. +he car wa! fu%% of %andowner! returning to their e!tate! fro' $t. Peter! urg3 with 0arce%! of ta %e de%icacie! for the fea!t of *arniva% week. +he conver!ation! were a out 0ancake!3 caviare3 !'oked !turgeon3 wine3 and !uch thing!. I cou%d !carce%# endure thi! ta%k I wa! !o e/cited a out the 'eeting ahead of 'e3 and I wa! worried # the fear of 0o!!i %e accident! ... 1nd #et3 I fe%t !ure that we wou%d 'eet. 9I cou%d hard%# wait for the 'orning when the train wa! to arrive at the !tation of $a'ino I had found out it! na'e on the wa#3 and 'e'ori-ed it forever. +he train! !to00edD our! and the other. I ran out to the !tation. No od# there. I @u'0ed into the other train3 ran through one car after another3 and he wa! not there. $udden%# I recogni-ed =. 8.>! fur coat in a co'0art'ent. $o he had co'e with the train. )ut where wa! heE I %ea0ed out of the car3 and i''ediate%# ran into =.8.3 who wa! ru!hing out of the !tation %ooking for 'e. Ae wa! indignant a out the 'uti%ation of the ca %e and wanted to 'ake a co'0%aint a out it right awa#. I cou%d !to0 hi' fro' doing !o on%# with difficu%t#. 1fter he had !ent 'e the ca %e3 he of cour!e rea%i!ed that in!tead of 'e3 he 'ight e 'et # the !ecret 0o%ice3 ut he fe%t that eing with 'e wou%d 'ake it ea!ier for hi' in $t. Peter! urg3 and he tru!ted to hi! %uck# !tar. 5e took our !eat! in the co'0art'ent3 and continued our @ourne# together. I cou%d not he%0 eing a'a-ed at =.8.>! freedo' and ea!e a! he %aughed and chatted a%oud in the train and at the !tation. I wanted to kee0 hi' invi!i %e3 to hide hi' awa#3 ecau!e of that threat of hard<%a our hanging over hi' for hi! e!ca0e. )ut he wa! in fu%% view and !aid that it wa! hi! e!t 0rotection.? Fro' the !tation in $t. Peter! urg3 we went !traight to our %o#a% friend! at the $choo% of 1rti%%er#. I never !aw 0eo0%e !o !tart%ed a! 8r. =itken!> fa'i%#. I !tood %ike a gho!t in the %arge dining< roo'3 whi%e the# a%% %ooked at 'e reath%e!!. 1fter we had ki!!ed each other the# !ti%% cou%d not e%ieve their e#e! and ke0t e/0re!!ing their !ur0ri!e. Fina%%# the# were convinced that it wa! I. Even now I fee% that tho!e were ha00# hour!. )ut I wa! not out of danger #et. +he doctor wa! the fir!t to re'ind u! of thi!. In a !en!e3 the danger wa! @u!t eginning. +here wa! no dou t that the authoritie! of )ere-ov had a%read# !ent te%egra'! a out '# di!a00earance. In $t. Peter! urg3 I wa! known to a great 'an# 0eo0%e3 thank! to '# work at the $oviet of 8e%egate!. $o I decided to go with '# wife to Fin%and3 where the %i ertie! won # the revo%ution were in o0eration 'uch %onger than in $t. Peter! urg. +he 'o!t dangerou! 0%ace wa! the Finni!h ter'ina% in $t. Peter! urg. )efore the train !tarted3 !evera% !ecret 0o%ice entered our car to %ook over the 0a!!enger!. "# wife !at facing the entrance<door3 and I cou%d te%% fro' her e#e! what danger we were in. 5e %ived through a 'inute of terrific nervou! ten!ion. +he 0o%ice %ooked u! over indifferent%# and wa%ked on. +hat wa! a%% the# were ca0a %e of.

=enin and "artov had %eft $t. Peter! urg %ong efore3 and were %iving in Fin%and. +he union of the two faction! that had een effected at the $tockho%' congre!! wa! again !howing a reach. +he tide of the revo%ution wa! !ti%% e ing. +he "en!hevik! were recanting the 'ad act! of 1925. +he )o%!hevik! were not recanting an#thing3 and were getting read# for a new revo%ution. I vi!ited oth =enin and "artov3 who %ived in neigh oring vi%%age!. "artov>! roo'3 a! u!ua%3 wa! in a !tate of unuttera %e di!order. In the corner3 new!0a0er! were 0i%ed a! high a! a 'an. 8uring '# conver!ation with hi'3 "artov dived into the 0i%e now and again to ring out an artic%e that he wanted. "anu!cri0t! covered with a!he! %a# on hi! ta %e. +he pince0ne7 that wa! never Cuite c%ean droo0ed on hi! thin no!e. 1! a%wa#!3 "artov had 'an# idea!3 ri%%iant and !u t%e one!3 ut he had not the one idea that wa! 'ore i'0ortant than an# other& he did not know what to do ne/t. =enin>! roo' wa! the u!ua% 0icture of order. =enin did not !'oke. +he nece!!ar# new!0a0er!3 ear'arked3 %a# c%o!e at hand. 1nd a ove a%%3 there wa! in hi! 0ro!aic ut e/traordinar# face that e/0re!!ion of indo'ita %# iding hi! ti'e. It wa! then not #et c%ear whether the tide of revo%ution had definite%# turned ack3 or had on%# !%owed down efore ri!ing again. )ut in either ca!e3 it wa! eCua%%# nece!!ar# to fight the !ce0tic!3 to review the e/0erience of 1925 theoretica%%#3 to educate the rank<and<fi%e for a new turn of the tide3 or for a !econd revo%ution. =enin !0oke a00roving%# of '# work in 0ri!on3 ut he taunted 'e for not drawing the nece!!ar# conc%u!ion!3 in other word!3 for not going over to the )o%!hevik!. Ae wa! right in thi!. 1! we 0arted3 he gave 'e !o'e addre!!e! in Ae%!ingfor! which 0roved inva%ua %e to 'e. +he friend! to who' =enin directed 'e he%0ed 'e to e!ta %i!h '#!e%f with '# fa'i%# in a co'forta %e %itt%e 0%ace in Og% u3 near Ae%!ingfor!3 where !o'e ti'e afterward =enin a%!o ca'e to !ta#. +he chief of 0o%ice in Ae%!ingfor! wa! an activi!t3 or revo%utionar# Finni!h nationa%i!t. Ae 0ro'i!ed to give 'e due warning in ca!e of an# danger fro' $t. Peter! urg. I !ta#ed !evera% week! in Og% u with '# wife and infant !on3 who had een orn whi%e I wa! in 0ri!on. In the !o%itude of thi! vi%%age3 I de!cri ed '# @ourne# in a ook entit%ed3 There and 8a+k3 and with the 'one# that I received fro' it went a road # wa# of $tockho%'. "# wife and !on !ta#ed in ,u!!ia for the ti'e eing. I wa! acco'0anied to the frontier # a #oung Finni!h wo'an who wa! a%!o an activi!t. 1t that ti'e the activi!t! were friend%#. In 191;3 the# eca'e Fa!ci!t!3 and itter ene'ie! of the Octo er revo%ution. On a $candinavian !tea'er3 I !et forth on a new foreign e/i%e which wa! to %a!t for ten #ear!.

'otes
1. Ine/act. B ".). Trots$y I. In '# ook 190. thi! 0art of '# e!ca0e wa! 0ur0o!e%# de!cri ed in different wa#. 1t that ti'e3 to te%% the truth wou%d have 'eant 0utting the *-ar>! 0o%ice on the track of '# acco'0%ice!. +o<da#3 I !ti%% ho0e that $ta%in wi%% not 0ro!ecute the' either3 e!0ecia%%# !ince their !entence! wou%d have e/0ired3 and !ince =enin hi'!e%f he%0ed 'e at the %a!t !tage of '# e!ca0e3 a! I wi%% %ater !how. B ".). Trots$y

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <V0

M4 )(%&'D F&!(07' (<0L(9 7(!MA' )&%0AL0)M

+he 0art# congre!! of 192; he%d it! 'eeting! in a !ocia%i!t church in =ondon. It wa! a 0rotracted3 crowded3 !tor'#3 and chaotic congre!!. +he !econd 8u'a wa! !ti%% a%ive in $t. Peter! urg. +he revo%ution wa! !u !iding3 ut it wa! !ti%% arou!ing great intere!t3 even in Eng%i!h 0o%itica% circ%e!. Pro'inent %i era%! invited the etter<known de%egate! to their hou!e! to !how the' off to their gue!t!. +he e ing tide of the revo%ution wa! a%read# evident in the %e!!ening of the 0art# fund!. +here wa! not enough 'one# for the return @ourne#3 or even to carr# the congre!! to it! conc%u!ion. 5hen thi! !ad new! re<echoed under the arche! of the church3 cutting into the di!cu!!ion on ar'ed u0ri!ing! a! it did3 the de%egate! %ooked at one another in a%ar' and a'a-e'ent. 5hat wa! to e doneE 5e cou%d not !ta# in the church3 of cour!e. )ut a wa# out wa! found3 and in Cuite an une/0ected for'. 1n Eng%i!h %i era% agreed to %end the ,u!!ian revo%ution three thou!and 0ound!3 a! near%# a! I can re'e' er the figure. Ae de'anded3 however3 that the revo%utionar# 0ro'i!!or# note e !igned # a%% the de%egate! at the congre!!3 and !o the Eng%i!h'an received a docu'ent earing !evera% hundred !ignature!3 in the characteri!tic !ign! of a%% the race! of ,u!!ia. Ae had to wait a %ong ti'e3 however3 for the 0a#'ent of the note. 8uring the #ear! of the reaction and the war3 the 0art# cou%d not even drea' of !uch huge !u'!. It wa! the $oviet govern'ent that ought ack the 0ro'i!!or# note of the =ondon congre!!. ,evo%ution carrie! out it! o %igation!3 a%though u!ua%%# not without de%a#. On one of the fir!t da#! of the congre!!3 I wa! !to00ed in the church ve!ti u%e # a ta%%3 angu%ar 'an with a round face and high cheek< one!3 who wore a round hat. 9I a' #our ad'irer3? he !aid3 with an a'ia %e chuck%e. 91d'irerE? I echoed in a!toni!h'ent. It !ee'ed that the co'0%i'ent referred to '# 0o%itica% 0a'0h%et! that had een written in 0ri!on. "# inter%ocutor wa! "a/i' 4ork#3 and thi! wa! the fir!t ti'e I ever !aw hi'. 9I ho0e it i! not nece!!ar# for 'e to !a# that I a' #our ad'irer3? I !aid3 an!wering the co'0%i'ent with another. In that 0eriod3 4ork# wa! c%o!e to the )o%!hevik!. 5ith hi' wa! the we%%<known actre!! 1ndre#eva. 5e went a out =ondon together. 95ou%d #ou e%ieve itE? !aid 4ork#3 a! he g%anced at 1ndre#eva in a'a-e'ent3 9!he !0eak! a%% %anguage!.? Ae hi'!e%f !0oke on%# ,u!!ian3 ut we%%. 5hen !o'e eggar wou%d !hut the door of the ca ehind u!3 4ork# wou%d 0%ead& 95e ought to give hi' !o'e of tho!e 0ence.? +o which 1ndre#eva wou%d an!wer3 9+he# have een given3 1%#o!ha dear3 the# have een given.?

1t the =ondon congre!! I renewed acCuaintance with ,o!a =u/e' urg3 who' I had known !ince 192T. $he wa! a %itt%e wo'an3 frai%3 and even !ick%# %ooking3 ut with a no %e face3 and eautifu% e#e! that radiated inte%%igenceD !he ca0tivated one # the !heer courage of her 'ind and character. Aer !t#%e3 which wa! at once 0reci!e3 inten!e and 'erci%e!!3 wi%% a%wa#! e the 'irror of her heroic !0irit. Aer! wa! a 'an#<!ided nature3 rich in !u t%e !hading!. ,evo%ution and it! 0a!!ion!3 'an and art3 nature3 ird! and growing thing! a%% the!e cou%d 0%a# on the 'an# !tring! of her !ou%. 9I 'u!t have !o'e od#3? !he wrote to =ui!e Kaut!k#3 9who e%ieve! 'e when I !a# that it i! on%# through 'i!under!tanding that I a' in the 'id!t of thi! whir%0oo% of wor%d hi!tor#3 wherea! in rea%it# I wa! orn to %ook after the gee!e in the fie%d!.? "# re%ation! with ,o!a were not 'arked # an# 0er!ona% friend!hi0D our 'eeting! were too rief and too infreCuent. I ad'ired her fro' a di!tance. 1nd #et3 I 0ro a %# did not a00reciate her enough at that ti'e. On the Cue!tion of the !o<ca%%ed 0er'anent revo%ution3 ,o!a took the !a'e !tand a! I did. In thi! connection3 =enin and I once had a ha%f<hu'orou! conver!ation in the %o #. +he de%egate! !tood a out u! in a c%o!e ring. 9It i! a%% ecau!e !he doe! not !0eak ,u!!ian too we%%3? he !aid3 referring to ,o!a. 9)ut then3 !he !0eak! e/ce%%ent "ar/ian3? I retorted. +he de%egate! %aughed3 and !o did we. 1t the congre!! I had occa!ion to !et forth again '# view of the 0ro%etariat>! 0art in the ourgeoi! revo%ution3 and3 in 0articu%ar3 of it! re%ation!hi0 to the 0ea!antr#. In conc%uding the de ate3 =enin !aid in reference to thi!& 9+rot!k# ho%d! the view that the 0ro%etariat and the 0ea!antr# have co''on intere!t! in the revo%ution of to<da#.? *on!eCuent%#& 95e have !o%idarit# of view! here a! regard! the funda'enta%! of our attitude toward the ourgeoi! 0artie!.? Aow %itt%e doe! thi! re!e' %e the %egend that in 1925 I ignored the 0ea!antr#J I need on%# add that '# =ondon 0rogra''e !0eech in 192;3 which to thi! da# I think i! a !o%ute%# right3 wa! re0rinted !e0arate%# after the Octo er revo%ution a! an e/a'0%e of the )o%!hevik attitude toward the 0ea!antr# and the bourgeoisie. Fro' =ondon3 I went to )er%in to 'eet '# wife3 who wa! to co'e fro' $t. Peter! urg. )# that ti'e3 Parvu! had a%!o e!ca0ed fro' $i eria. In 8re!den3 he arranged for the 0u %ication of '# %itt%e ook3 There and 8a+k3 # Kaden>! $ocia% 8e'ocratic 0u %i!hing co'0an#. For thi! ook%et dea%ing with '# e!ca0e3 I agreed to write a 0reface on the ,u!!ian revo%ution it!e%f. Out of that 0reface3 in the cour!e of a few 'onth! there grew '# ook3 !"ssland in der !e ol"tion. "# wife3 Parvu! and I went a%% three for a tra'0 through $a/on $wit-er%and. It wa! the end of the !u''er3 the weather wa! 'agnificent3 and the 'orning! were cri!0D we drank Cuantitie! of 'i%k a! we%% a! 'ountain air. 1n atte'0t to de!cend into a va%%e# off the road near%# co!t '# wife and 'e our %ive!. =ater we went to )ohe'ia3 to a %itt%e ha'%et ca%%ed Air!ch erg3 a !u''er re!idence for 0ett# officia%!3 and !ta#ed there !evera% week!. 5hen our fund! were getting %ow3 and thi! ha00ened 0eriodica%%#3 either Parvu! or I wou%d da!h off an artic%e for the $ocia% 8e'ocratic 0a0er!. 5hi%e I wa! in Air!ch erg3 I wrote a ook on the 4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocrac# for a )o%!hevik 0rinting hou!e in $t. Peter! urg. +here3 for the !econd ti'e the fir!t wa! in 1925 I !et forth the idea that the gigantic 'achine of the 4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocrac# 'ight3 at a critica% 'o'ent for the ourgeoi! !ociet#3 0rove to e the 'ain!ta# of the con!ervative order. 1t that ti'e3 however3 I did not fore!ee to what e/tent thi! theoretica% 0re!u'0tion wou%d e confir'ed # the fact!. Fro' Air!ch erg3 we a%% went our !e0arate wa#! I to the congre!! at $tuttgart3 '# wife to ,u!!ia to get our chi%d3 and Parvu! to 4er'an#.

+here !ti%% hovered over the congre!! of the $ocia%i!t Internationa% the echo of the !tor'! of the ,u!!ian revo%ution of 1925. Ever# one tried to kee0 in %ine with the %eft f%ank. )ut one noticed a%read# a di!a00oint'ent with revo%utionar# 'ethod!. ,u!!ian revo%utionarie! !ti%% arou!ed intere!t3 ut there wa! a touch of iron# in it3 a! if 0eo0%e were !a#ing& 9Aere the# are3 ack again.? 5hen in Fe ruar#3 19253 I wa! 0a!!ing through (ienna on '# wa# to ,u!!ia3 I a!ked (ictor 1d%er what he thought of the 0artici0ation of the $ocia% 8e'ocrac# in the 0rovi!iona% govern'ent. 1d%er an!wered 'e in the 1d%er wa#& 9Your hand! are too fu%% with the e8isting govern'ent to 0u--%e #our rain! over the %uture one.? 1t $tuttgart3 I re'inded hi' of hi! word!. 9I confe!! that #ou ca'e nearer to 0rovi!iona% govern'ent than I e/0ected3? he !aid. 1d%er wa! genera%%# ver# friend%# to 'e and if #ou %ook dee0er3 wa! not univer!a% !uffrage in 1u!tria won # the $t. Peter! urg $oviet of 5orker!> 8e%egate!E +he Eng%i!h de%egate at $tuttgart3 Sue%ch3 who had got 'e ad'i!!ion to the )riti!h "u!eu' in 192I3 at the congre!! referred di!re!0ectfu%%# to the di0%o'atic conference a! a 'eeting of ro er!. +hi! did not find favor with Prince von )U%ow. Hnder 0re!!ure fro' )er%in3 the 5urte' erg govern'ent e/0e%%ed Sue%ch. )e e% i''ediate%# eca'e i%% at ea!e. +he 0art# cou%d not 0%uck u0 enough courage to take !te0! again!t Sue%ch>! e/0u%!ion. +here wa! not even a !ing%e 0rote!t de'on!tration. +he internationa% congre!! wa! %ike a !choo%roo'& the rude o# i! to%d to %eave the roo'3 and the re!t kee0 !i%ent. )ehind the 0ower in nu' er! of the 4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocrac# one cou%d di!cern3 a%% too c%ear%#3 the !hadow of i'0otence. In Octo er3 192;3 I wa! a%read# in (ienna. $oon '# wife ca'e with our chi%d. 5hi%e we were waiting for a new tide of revo%ution3 we took u0 our Cuarter! out!ide the cit#3 at AUtte%dorf. 5e had %ong to wait. 5e were carried awa# fro' (ienna !even #ear! %ater # a ver# different tide that one which !oaked the !oi% of Euro0e with %ood. 5h# did we choo!e (ienna when the re!t of the foreign e/i%e! were concentrated in $wit-er%and and Pari!E 1t that 0eriod3 '# c%o!e!t contact! were with 4er'an 0o%itica% %ife3 ut we cou%d not !ett%e down in )er%in ecau!e of the 0o%ice. $o we 'ade (ienna our ho'e. )ut during a%% tho!e !even #ear! I watched 4er'an %ife 'ore attentive%# than I did 1u!trian3 which re'inded 'e too 'uch of a !Cuirre% in a cage. (ictor 1d%er3 the recogni-ed %eader of the 0art#3 I had known !ince 192I. Now it wa! ti'e for 'e to get acCuainted with tho!e who were around hi'3 and with hi! 0art# a! a who%e. I 'ade the acCuaintance of Ai%ferding in the !u''er of 192;3 in Kaut!k#>! hou!e. Ae wa! then at the 0eak of hi! revo%utioni!'3 which did not 0revent hi' fro' hating ,o!a =u/e' urg and fro' eing conte'0tuou! of Kar% =ie knecht. )ut for ,u!!ia3 in tho!e da#! he wa! read#3 %ike 'an# another3 to acce0t the 'o!t radica% conc%u!ion!. Ae 0rai!ed '# artic%e! which the 'e"e ;eit had 'anaged to tran!%ate fro' the ,u!!ian 0eriodica%! even efore I ca'e a road3 and3 Cuite une/0ected%# for 'e3 he in!i!ted fro' the ver# fir!t that we addre!! each other a! 9thou.? )ecau!e of thi! our outward re%ation! took on the !e' %ance of inti'ac#. )ut there wa! no 'ora% or 0o%itica% a!i! for it. Ai%ferding regarded the !taid and 0a!!ive 4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocrac# of that ti'e with great conte'0t3 and contra!ted it with the activit# of the 1u!trian 0art#. +hi! critici!'3 how ever3 retained it! fire!ide character. In 0ractice3 Ai%ferding re'ained a %iterar# officia% in the !ervice of the 4er'an 0art# and nothing 'ore. On hi! vi!it! to (ienna3 he wou%d co'e to !ee 'e and in the evening! wou%d introduce 'e in the cafe! to hi! friend! a'ong the 1u!trian "ar/i!t!. On '#

tri0! to )er%in3 I ca%%ed on Ai%ferding. 5e once 'et "acdona%d in one of the )er%in cafe!. Eduard )ern!tein acted a! the inter0reter. Ai%ferding a!ked the Cue!tion!3 "acdona%d an!wered. +o<da#3 I do not re'e' er either the Cue!tion! or the an!wer!D the# were di!tingui!hed on%# # their tritene!!. I a!ked '#!e%f which of the!e three 'en !tood farthe!t fro' what I had een accu!to'ed to ca%% !ocia%i!'. 1nd I wa! at a %o!! for an an!wer. 8uring the )re!t 0eace negotiation!3 I received a %etter fro' Ai%ferding. Nothing of !ignificance wa! to e e/0ected fro' hi'3 ut neverthe%e!! I o0ened the %etter with intere!t. 1fter the Octo er revo%ution3 thi! wa! the fir!t direct voice fro' the !ocia%i!t 5e!t. 1nd what did I findE In hi! %etter3 Ai%ferding a!ked 'e to free !o'e war 0ri!oner3 one of the ine!ca0a %e varietie! of (ienne!e 9doctor.? ?% the re(olution, the letter contained not a single word. 1nd #et he addre!!ed 'e in the %etter a! 9thou.? I knew we%% enough the !ort of 0er!on Ai%ferding wa!. I thought I had no i%%u!ion! a out hi'. )ut I cou%d not e%ieve '# own e#e!. I re'e' er the %ive%# intere!t with which =enin a!ked 'e& 9I hear that #ou had a %etter fro' Ai%ferdingE? 9I did.? 95e%%E? 9Ae a!k! u! to he%0 hi! re%ative3 a 0ri!oner.? 91nd what doe! he !a# a out the revo%utionE? 9Nothing a out the revo%ution.? 9NothingE? 9Nothing.? 9Incredi %e3? !aid =enin3 !taring at 'e. I wa! %e!! at a %o!! ecau!e I had a%read# acce0ted the thought that the Octo er revo%ution and the traged# at )re!t were for Ai%ferding 'ere%# an occa!ion to a!k favor! for a re%ative. I wi%% !0are the reader the two or three e0ithet! with which =enin vented hi! a'a-e'ent. It wa! Ai%ferding who fir!t introduced 'e to hi! friend! in (ienna3 Otto )auer3 "a/ 1d%er3 and Kar% ,enner. +he# were we%%<educated 0eo0%e who!e know%edge of variou! !u @ect! wa! !u0erior to 'ine. I %i!tened with inten!e and3 one 'ight a%'o!t !a#3 re!0ectfu% intere!t to their conver!ation in the Central cafe. )ut ver# !oon I grew 0u--%ed. +he!e 0eo0%e were not revo%utionarie!. "oreover3 the# re0re!ented the t#0e that wa! farthe!t fro' that of the revo%utionar#. +hi! e/0re!!ed it!e%f in ever#thing in their a00roach to !u @ect!3 in their 0o%itica% re'ark! and 0!#cho%ogica% a00reciation!3 in their !e%f<!ati!faction not !e%f<a!!urance3 ut !e%f< !ati!faction. I even thought I !en!ed 0hi%i!tini!' in the Cua%it# of their voice!.

I wa! !ur0ri!ed to find that the!e educated "ar/i!t! were a !o%ute%# inca0a %e of a00%#ing "ar/>! 'ethod a! !oon a! the# ca'e to the ig 0ro %e'! of 0o%itic!3 e!0ecia%%# it! revo%utionar# turn!. I fir!t eca'e convinced of thi! with regard to ,enner. 5e !at ver# %ate in a cafeD it wa! too %ate to catch a !treet<car to AUtte%dorf where I wa! %iving3 and !o ,enner invited 'e to !0end the night at hi! 0%ace. 1t that ti'e3 it never entered the head of thi! educated and ta%ented Aa0! urg officia% that the unha00# de!tin# of 1u!tria<Aungar#3 who!e hi!torica% advocate he then wa!3 wou%d 'ake hi'3 ten #ear! %ater3 the chance%%or of the 1u!trian re0u %ic. On the wa# fro' the cafN3 we !0oke of the 0o!!i %e deve%o0'ent! in ,u!!ia3 where the counter<revo%ution wa! then fir'%# in the !add%e. ,enner di!cu!!ed the!e Cue!tion! with the civi%it# and indifference of an educated foreigner. +he 1u!trian 'ini!tr# of the da#3 under )aron )eck3 intere!ted hi' 'uch 'ore. Ai! view of ,u!!ia wa! !u !tantia%%# thi!& that the a%%iance etween the %and%ord! and the bourgeoisie which found it! e/0re!!ion in $to%#0in>! con!titution after the coup detat of 7une 33 192;3 fu%%# corre!0onded to the !tage of deve%o0'ent of the 0roductive force! of the countr#3 and con!eCuent%# had ever# chance of !urviving. I retorted that3 a! I !aw it3 the ru%ing %oc of the %and%ord! and the bourgeoisie wa! 0aving the wa# for a !econd revo%ution3 which in a%% %ike%ihood wou%d tran!fer the 0ower to the ,u!!ian 0ro%etariat. I re'e' er ,enner>! f%eeting3 0u--%ed3 and at the !a'e ti'e conde!cending g%ance at 'e under the %a'0<0o!t. Ae 0ro a %# con!idered '# 0rogno!i! a! ignorant raving3 rather %ike the a0oca%#0tic 0ro0hecie! of an 1u!tra%ian '#!tic who3 a few 'onth! ear%ier3 at the Internationa% $ocia%i!t *ongre!! at $tuttgart3 had 0ro0he!ied the date and hour of the co'ing wor%d revo%ution. 9You think !oE? he a!ked3 adding with dead%# civi%it#& 9Pro a %# I a' not !ufficient%# we%% acCuainted with the condition! in ,u!!ia.? 5e had no co''on ground for continuing our conver!ation. I !aw c%ear%# that the 'an wa! a! far fro' revo%utionar# dia%ectic! a! the 'o!t con!ervative Eg#0tian 0haraoh. "# fir!t i'0re!!ion! were on%# inten!ified # further o !ervation!. +he!e 'en knew a great dea%3 and the# were ca0a %e3 within the %i'it! of 0o%itica% routine3 of writing good "ar/i!t artic%e!. )ut to 'e the# were !tranger!. I wa! 'ore fir'%# convinced of thi!3 the 'ore e/ten!ive '# connection! eca'e and the keener '# o !ervation! grew. In infor'a% ta%k! a'ong the'!e%ve!3 the# revea%ed3 'uch 'ore frank%# than in their artic%e! and !0eeche!3 either undi!gui!ed chauvini!'3 or the ragging of a 0ett# 0ro0rietor3 or ho%# terror of the 0o%ice3 or vi%ene!! toward wo'en. In a'a-e'ent3 I often e/c%ai'ed3 95hat revo%utionarie!J? I a' not referring here to the worker! who3 of cour!e3 a%!o have 'an# 0hi%i!tine trait!3 though of a 'ore naive and !i'0%e !ort. No3 I wa! 'eeting the f%ower of the 0re<war 1u!trian "ar/i!t!3 'e' er! of 0ar%ia'ent3 writer!3 and @ourna%i!t!. 1t tho!e 'eeting!3 I %earned to under!tand the e/traordinar# variet# of the e%e'ent! that can e co'0ri!ed within the 'ind of one 'an3 and the great di!tance which !e0arate! the 'ere 0a!!ive a!!i'i%ation of certain 0art! of a !#!te' fro' it! co'0%ete 0!#cho%ogica% re<creation a! a who%e3 fro' re<educating one!e%f in the !0irit of a !#!te'. +he 0!#cho%ogica% t#0e of "ar/i!t can deve%o0 on%# in an e0och of !ocia% catac%#!'!3 of a revo%utionar# reak with tradition! and ha it!D wherea! an 1u!trian "ar/i!t too often revea%ed hi'!e%f a 0hi%i!tine who had %earned certain 0art! of "ar/>! theor# a! one 'ight !tud# %aw3 and had %ived on the intere!t that Das 5a2ital #ie%ded hi'. In the o%d i'0eria%3 hierarchic3 vain and futi%e (ienna3 the acade'ic "ar/i!t! wou%d refer to each other with a !ort of !en!uou! de%ight a! 9Aerr 8oktor.? 5orker! often ca%%ed the acade'ician!3 94eno!!e Aerr 8oktor.? 8uring a%% the !even #ear! that I %ived in (ienna3 I never had a heart<to<heart ta%k with an# one of thi! u00er

grou03 a%though I wa! a 'e' er of the 1u!trian $ocia% 8e'ocrac#3 attended their 'eeting!3 took 0art in their de'on!tration!3 contri uted to their 0u %ication!3 and !o'eti'e! 'ade !hort !0eeche! in 4er'an. I fe%t that the %eader! of the $ocia% 8e'ocrat! were a%ien3 wherea! I found3 Cuite ea!i%#3 a 'utua% %anguage with the $ocia% 8e'ocratic worker! at 'eeting! or at "a#da# de'on!tration!. In thi! at'o!0here3 the corre!0ondence etween "ar/ and Enge%! wa! one of the ook! that I needed 'o!t3 and one that !tood c%o!e!t to 'e. It !u00%ied 'e with the greate!t and 'o!t unfai%ing te!t for '# own idea! a! we%% a! for '# entire 0er!ona% attitude toward the re!t of the wor%d. +he (ienne!e %eader! of the $ocia% 8e'ocrac# u!ed the !a'e for'u%a! that I did. )ut one had on%# to turn an# of the' five degree! around on their a/e! to di!cover that we gave Cuite different 'eaning! to the !a'e conce0t!. Our agree'ent wa! a te'0orar# one3 !u0erficia% and unrea%. +he corre!0ondence etween "ar/ and Enge%! wa! for 'e not a theoretica% one3 ut a 0!#cho%ogica% reve%ation. Toutes proportions gardAes3 I found 0roof on ever# 0age that to the!e two I wa! ound # a direct 0!#cho%ogica% affinit#. +heir attitude to 'en and idea! wa! 'ine. I gue!!ed what the# did not e/0re!!3 !hared their !#'0athie!3 wa! indignant and hated a! the# did. "ar/ and Enge%! were revo%utionarie! through and through. )ut the# had not the !%ighte!t trace of !ectariani!' or a!cetici!'. )oth of the'3 and e!0ecia%%# Enge%!3 cou%d at an# ti'e !a# of the' !e%ve! that nothing hu'an wa! !trange to the'. )ut their revo%utionar# out%ook %ifted the' a%wa#! a ove the ha-ard! of fate and the work! of 'en. Pettine!! wa! inco'0ati %e not on%# with their 0er!ona%itie!3 ut with their 0re!ence!. (u%garit# cou%d not !tick even to the !o%e! of their oot!. +heir a00reciation!3 !#'0athie!3 @e!t! even when 'o!t co''on0%ace are a%wa#! touched # the rarefied air of !0iritua% no i%it#. +he# 'a# 0a!! dead%# critici!' on a 'an3 ut the# wi%% never dea% in titt%e<tatt%e. +he# can e ruth%e!!3 ut not treacherou!. For outward g%a'our3 tit%e!3 or rank the# have nothing ut a coo% conte'0t. 5hat 0hi%i!tine! and vu%garian! con!idered ari!tocratic in the' wa! rea%%# on%# their revo%utionar# !u0eriorit#. It! 'o!t i'0ortant characteri!tic i! a co'0%ete and ingrained inde0endence of officia% 0u %ic o0inion at a%% ti'e! and under a%% condition!. 5hen I read their %etter!3 I fe%t3 even 'ore than when I read their writing!3 that the !a'e thing which ound 'e !o c%o!e%# to the wor%d of "ar/ and Enge%! 0%aced 'e in irreconci%a %e o00o!ition to the 1u!trian "ar/i!t!. +he!e 0eo0%e 0rided the'!e%ve! on eing rea%i!t! and on eing u!ine!!%ike. )ut even here the# !wa' in !ha%%ow water. In 192;3 to increa!e it! inco'e3 the 0art# !et out to e!ta %i!h it! own read<factor#. +hi! wa! the crude!t adventure 0o!!i %e3 one that wa! dangerou! in 0rinci0%e and utter%# ho0e%e!! in an# 0ractica% !en!e. I fought again!t the venture fro' the !tart3 ut I wa! 'et with a !'i%e of conde!cending !u0eriorit# fro' the (ienna "ar/i!t!. Near%# twent# #ear! %ater3 after 'an# vagarie! and %o!!e!3 the 1u!trian 0art# had !ha'efaced%# to hand it over to 0rivate hand!. In defending the'!e%ve! again!t the di!0%ea!ure of the worker! who had 'ade !o 'an# futi%e !acrifice!3 Otto )auer tried to 0rove the nece!!it# of a andoning the factor# # afterward Cuoting3 a'ong other!3 the warning! I had given the' at the out!et. )ut he did not e/0%ain to the worker! wh# he had fai%ed to !ee what I had !een3 and wh# he did not act u0on '# warning!3 which were not a%% the re!u%t of '# 0er!ona% 0ower! of in!ight. I a!ed '# o0inion! neither on the !ituation in the read<'arket nor on the !tate of the 'e' er!hi0 of the 0art#3 ut on the 0o!ition of the 0ro%etariat 0art# in ca0ita%i!t !ociet#. +hi! !ee'ed %ike dog'atic theori-ing3 ut it 0roved to e the e!t criterion. +he confir'ing of '# warning! on%# 'eant the !u0eriorit# of the "ar/i!t 'ethod over it! 1u!trian counterfeit.

(ictor 1d%er wa! in a%% re!0ect! far a ove the re!t of hi! co%%eague!. )ut he had %ong een a !ce0tic. In the 1u!trian !cra' %e3 hi! fighting te'0er wa! wa!ted on %itt%e thing!. +he vi!ta! of the future were o !cure3 and 1d%er turned hi! ack on the'3 !o'eti'e! de'on!trative%#. 9+he u!ine!! of a 0ro0het i! a thank%e!! one3 and e!0ecia%%# in 1u!tria3? thi! wa! the con!tant refrain of hi! !0eeche!. 9You 'a# !a# what #ou %ike3? he !aid in the %o # of the $tuttgart congre!!3 apropos of the a ove<'entioned 1u!tra%ian 0ro0hec#3 9 ut for '# 0art I 0refer 0o%itica% 0rediction! a!ed on the 10oca%#0!e to tho!e !u00orted # a 'ateria%i!tic inter0retation of hi!tor#.? +hi! wa!3 of cour!e3 a @e!t. 1nd #et3 not 'ere%# that. It wa! thi! that 0%aced 1d%er and 'e at o00o!ite 0o%e! in the thing! that were 'o!t vita% to 'eD without a road 0o%itica% view of the future3 I cannot conceive either of 0o%itica% activit# or of inte%%ectua% %ife in genera%. (ictor 1d%er eca'e a !ce0tic3 and a! !uch he to%erated ever#thing and ada0ted hi'!e%f to ever#thing3 e!0ecia%%# to the nationa%i!t !0irit which had corroded the 1u!trian $ocia% 8e'ocrac# to the ver# core. "# re%ation! with the %eader! of the 0art# were even 'ore !trained when I ca'e out o0en%# again!t the chauvini!' of the 1u!tro<4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocrac#. +hi! wa! in 1929. 8uring '# 'eeting! with the )a%kan $ocia%i!t!3 and e!0ecia%%# with the $er ! B one of who' wa! 8'itr# +ut!ovitch who %ater wa! ki%%ed a! an officer of the )a%kan war I had heard indignant co'0%aint! to the effect that a%% the $er ian ourgeoi! 0re!! wa! Cuoting the chauvini!t out ur!t! of the Ar,eiter>;eit"n# with a !ort of 'a%iciou! de%ight3 in 0roof of the fact that the internationa% !o%idarit# of worker! wa! no 'ore than a fraudu%ent ta%e. I wrote a ver# cautiou! and te'0ered artic%e again!t the chauvini!' of the Ar,eiter>;eit"n# and !ent it to the 'e"e ;eit. 1fter 'uch he!itation3 Kaut!k# 0u %i!hed the artic%e. +he ne/t da#3 an o%d ,u!!ian N'igrN3 K%#achko3 with who' I wa! ver# friend%#3 infor'ed 'e that the %eader! of the 0art# were angr# with 'e ... 9Aow dared heE? Otto )auer and other 1u!trian "ar/i!t! 0rivate%# ad'itted that =eitner3 the foreign<new! editor3 had gone too far. In thi! the# were !i'0%# echoing 1d%er hi'!e%f3 who3 a%though he to%erated e/tre'e! of chauvini!'3 did not a00rove of the'. )ut in the face of daring interference fro' out!ide3 the %eader! e ca'e united in !enti'ent. On one of the fo%%owing $aturda#!3 Otto )auer ca'e u0 to the ta %e at which K%#achko and I were !itting and egan to rai% at 'e. I confe!! that under hi! torrent of word! I did not know what to !a#. I wa! a!tounded not !o 'uch # hi! %ecturing tone a! # the nature of hi! argu'ent!. 95hat i'0ortance have =eitner>! artic%e!E? he de'anded with an a'u!ing haughtine!!. 9Foreign 0o%ic# doe! not e/i!t for 1u!tria<Aungar#. No worker ever read! a out it. It ha! not the !%ighte!t i'0ortance.? I %i!tened with wide<o0en e#e!. +he!e 'en3 it !ee'ed3 e%ieved neither in revo%ution nor in war. +he# wrote a out war and revo%ution in their "a#da# 'anife!to!3 ut the# never took the' !eriou!%#D the# did not 0erceive that hi!tor# had a% read# 0oi!ed it! gigantic !o%dier>! oot over the ant<hea0 in which the# were ru!hing a out with !uch !e%f<a andon. $i/ #ear! %ater3 the# %earned that foreign 0o%ic# e/i!ted even for 1u!tria<Aungar#. 1nd3 at the !a'e ti'e3 the# egan

to !0eak in that !a'e !ha'e%e!! %anguage which the# had %earned fro' =eitner and other chauvini!t! %ike hi'. In )er%in3 the at'o!0here wa! different though e!!entia%%# 0erha0! not 'uch etter3 !ti%%3 different. +he ridicu%ou! 'andarin attitude of the (ienna acade'i!t! !carce%# e/i!ted there. ,e%ation! were !i'0%er. +here wa! %e!! nationa%i!'3 or at %ea!t it had not the incentive to revea% it!e%f a! often or a! vociferou!%# a! it had in 'an#<nationed 1u!tria. For the ti'e eing3 nationa%i!t !enti'ent !ee'ed to have di!!o%ved in the 0ride of the 0art# the 'o!t 0owerfu% $ocia% 8e'ocrac#3 the fir!t fidd%e of the Internationa%J For u! ,u!!ian!3 the 4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocrac# wa! 'other3 teacher3 and %iving e/a'0%e. 5e idea%i-ed it fro' a di!tance. +he na'e! of )e e% and Kaut!k# were 0ronounced reverent%#. In !0ite of '# di!tur ing theoretica% 0re'onition! a out the 4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocrac#3 a%read# 'entioned3 at that 0eriod I wa! undenia %# under it! !0e%%. +hi! wa! heightened # the fact that I %ived in (ienna3 and when I vi!ited )er%in off and on3 I wou%d co'0are with two $ocia% 8e'ocratic ca0ita%! and con!o%e '#!e%f& No3 )er%in i! not (ienna. In )er%in3 I attended two of the week%# 'eeting! of the %eft<winger!. +he# were he%d on Frida#! in the ,heingold re!taurant. +he 0rinci0a% figure at the!e gathering! wa! Fran- "ehring. Kar% =ie knecht a%!o ca'e thereD he a%wa#! arrived %ate and %eft efore the re!t. I wa! taken there the fir!t ti'e # Ai%ferding. +hen he !ti%% regarded hi'!e%f a! of the 9%eft3? a%though he hated ,o!a =u/e' urg with the !a'e fierce 0a!!ion that 8a!hin!k# wa! cu%tivating again!t her in 1u!tria. "# 'e'or# ha! retained nothing !ignificant fro' the!e conver!ation!. "ehring a!ked 'e ironica%%#3 with a twitch of hi! cheek B he !uffered fro' a tic B which of hi! 9i''orta% work!? had een tran!%ated into ,u!!ian. Ai%ferding3 in conver!ation3 referred to the 4er'an %eft<winger! a! revo%utionarie!. 95e are revo%utionarie!E )ahJ? "ehring interru0ted hi'. 9+ho!e are revo%utionarie!3? and he nodded in '# direction. I knew "ehring too %itt%e and I had 'et 0hi%i!tine! who !0oke 'ocking%# of the ,u!!ian revo%ution too often to e a %e to 'ake out whether he wa! @e!ting or !eriou!. )ut he wa! !eriou!3 a! hi! !u !eCuent %ife !howed. I 'et Kaut!k# for the fir!t ti'e in 192;. Parvu! took 'e to hi! hou!e. It wa! with 'uch e/cite'ent that I wa%ked u0 the !te0! of a neat %itt%e hou!e in Friedenau3 near )er%in. 1 white< haired and ver# @o%%# %itt%e o%d 'an with c%ear %ue e#e! greeted 'e with the ,u!!ian& 9Bdra(st(uyte.? 5ith what I a%read# knew of Kaut!k# fro' hi! ook!3 thi! !erved to co'0%ete a ver# char'ing 0er!ona%it#. +he thing that a00ea%ed to 'e 'o!t wa! the a !ence of fu!!3 which3 a! I %ater di!covered3 wa! the re!u%t of hi! undi!0uted authorit# at that ti'e3 and of the inner ca%' which it gave hi'. Ai! o00onent! ca%%ed hi' the 90a0a? of the Internationa%. $o'eti'e!3 he wa! ca%%ed that # hi! friend!3 too3 in a genia% wa#. Kaut!k#>! o%d 'other3 who wrote 0ro %e' nove%! which !he dedicated to 9her !on and teacher3? on her !event#<fifth irthda# received a greeting fro' Ita%ian !ocia%i!t! that read 9alla #a##a del papa? (to 0a0a>! 'a'a). Kaut!k# !aw hi! 0rinci0a% theoretica% 'i!!ion a! the reconci%ing of refor' and revo%ution. )ut he achieved hi! inte%%ectua% 'aturit# during an era of refor'. ,ea%it# wa! !i'0%# refor' for hi'3 revo%ution a 'i!t# hi!torica% 0ro!0ect. 1fter he had acce0ted "ar/i!' a! a co'0%ete !#!te'3 Kaut!k# 0o0u%ari-ed it %ike a !choo%<teacher. 4reat event! were e#ond hi! ken. Ai! dec%ine !et in a! ear%# a! the da#! of the revo%ution of 1925. One got %itt%e fro' conver!ation with Kaut!k#.

Ai! 'ind wa! too angu%ar and dr#3 too %acking in ni' %ene!! and 0!#cho%ogica% in!ight. Ai! eva%uation! were !che'atic3 hi! @oke! trite. For the !a'e rea!on he wa! a 0oor !0eaker. Kaut!k#>! friend!hi0 with ,o!a =u/e' urg coincided with the e!t 0eriod of hi! inte%%ectua% activit#. )ut !oon after the 1925 revo%ution3 a00eared the fir!t !ign! of a growing coo%ne!! etween the'. Kaut!k# war'%# !#'0athi-ed with the ,u!!ian revo%ution3 and cou%d inter0ret it fair%# we%% fro' afar. )ut he wa! # nature ho!ti%e to a tran!fer of revo%utionar# 'ethod! to 4er'an !oi%. 5hen I ca'e to hi! hou!e efore the de'on!tration in +re0tow Park3 I found ,o!a engaged in a heated argu'ent with hi'. 1%though the# !ti%% addre!!ed each other a! 9thou3? and !0oke a! inti'ate friend!3 in ,o!a>! retort! one cou%d hear !u00re!!ed indignation3 and in Kaut!k#>! an!wer! one !en!ed a 0rofound inner e' arra!!'ent di!gui!ed # rather uncertain @oke!. 5e went to the de'on!tration together ,o!a3 Kaut!k#3 hi! wife3 Ai%ferding3 the %ate 4u!tav Eck!tein3 and I. +here were 'ore !har0 c%a!he! on the wa#. Kaut!k# wanted to re'ain an on%ooker3 wherea! ,o!a wa! an/iou! to @oin the de'on!tration. +he antagoni!' etween the' ur!t out in 1912 over the Cue!tion of the !trugg%e for !uffrage in Pru!!ia. Kaut!k# deve%o0ed at that ti'e the !trategic 0hi%o!o0h# of wearing out the ene'# (-r#attungsstrategie) a! o00o!ed to the !trateg# of overthrowing the ene'# (Niederwer%ungsstrategie). It wa! a ca!e of two irreconci%a %e tendencie!. Kaut!k#>! %ine wa! that of an increa!ing%# fir' ada0tation to the e/i!ting !#!te'. In the 0roce!!3 what wa! 9worn out? wa! not ourgeoi! !ociet#3 ut the revo%utionar# idea%i!' of the 'a!!e! of worker!. 1%% the 0hi%i!tine!3 a%% the officia%!3 a%% the c%i' er! !ided with Kaut!k#3 who wa! weaving for the' the inte%%ectua% gar'ent! with which to hide their nakedne!!. +hen ca'e the warD the 0o%itica% !trateg# of e/hau!tion wa! ou!ted # the trench variet#. Kaut!k# wa! ada0ting hi'!e%f to the war in the !a'e wa# that he had een ada0ting hi'!e%f to 0eace. )ut ,o!a !howed how !he inter0reted %o#a%t# to her idea!. I re'e' er the ce%e ration in Kaut!k#>! hou!e of =ede our>! !i/tieth irthda#. 1'ong the gue!t! wa! 1ugu!t )e e%3 a%read# 0a!t hi! !eventieth #ear. It wa! at the ti'e when the 0art# wa! at it! 0eakD the# were united in 0o%ic#D the e%der! recorded the !ucce!!e! and %ooked into the future with a!!urance. 8uring the !u00er3 =ede our3 the centre of the fe!tivit#3 drew a'u!ing caricature!. It wa! at thi! 0art# that I fir!t 'et )e e% and hi! 7u%ia. Ever# one there3 inc%uding Kaut!k#3 %i!tened avid%# to ever# word that o%d )e e% uttered. Need%e!! to !a#3 I did too. )e e% 0er!onified the !%ow and !tu orn 'ove'ent of a new c%a!! that wa! ri!ing fro' e%ow. +hi! withered o%d 'an !ee'ed to have een cut out of 0atient ut ada'antine wi%% directed toward a !ing%e end. In hi! rea!oning3 in hi! e%oCuence3 in hi! artic%e! and ook!3 )e e% knew no !uch thing a! e/0ending 'enta% energ# on an o @ect which did not i''ediate%# !erve !o'e 0ractica% 0ur0o!e. +he Cuiet 'agnificence of hi! 0o%itica% 0atho! %a# in thi!. Ae ref%ected the c%a!! that get! it! %earning during it! !0are hour!3 va%ue! ever# 'inute3 and a !or ! voraciou!%# on%# what i! !trict%# nece!!ar# an inco'0ara %e 0ortrait of a 'an. )e e% died during the )uchare!t 0eace conference3 in the interva% etween the )a%kan war and the 5or%d war. +he new! reached 'e at the !tation in P%oe!ci3 ,ou'ania. It !ee'ed incredi %e& )e e% deadJ 5hat wou%d ha00en to the $ocia% 8e'ocrac#E =ede our>! word! a out the core of the 4er'an 0art# in!tant%# f%a!hed through '# 'ind& twent# 0er cent radica%!3 thirt# 0er cent o00ortuni!t! and the re!t fo%%ow )e e%.

)e e%>! fond ho0e! for a !ucce!!or centred in Aaa!e. +he o%d 'an wa! dou t%e!! attracted # Aaa!e>! idea%i!' not road revo%utionar# idea%i!'3 which Aaa!e did not 0o!!e!!3 ut a narrower3 'ore 0er!ona%3 ever#da# !ort of idea%i!'D one 'ight in!tance hi! readine!! to !acrifice a rich %ega% 0ractice at KXnig! erg to 0art# intere!t!. +o the great e' arra!!'ent of the ,u!!ian revo%utionarie!3 )e e% referred to thi! not ver# heroic !acrifice even in hi! !0eech at the 0art# congre!! I think it wa! in 7ena and in!i!tent%# reco''ended Aaa!e for the 0o!t of !econd chair'an of the 0art#>! centra% co''ittee. I knew Aaa!e fair%# we%%. 1fter one of the 0art# congre!!e! we @oined each other for a tour of !o'e 0art! of 4er'an#3 and !aw Nure' erg together. 4ent%e and con!iderate a! he wa! in 0er!ona% re%ation!3 in 0o%itic! Aaa!e re'ained to the end what hi! nature intended hi' to e an hone!t 'ediocrit#3 a 0rovincia% de'ocrat without revo%utionar# te'0era'ent or theoretica% out%ook. In the rea%' of 0hi%o!o0h# he ca%%ed hi'!e%f3 !o'e what !h#%#3 a Kantian. 5henever the !ituation wa! critica%3 he wa! inc%ined to refrain fro' fina% deci!ion!D he wou%d re!ort to ha%f<'ea!ure! and wait. No wonder the 0art# of the inde0endent! %ater cho!e hi' a! it! %eader. Kar% =ie knecht wa! entire%# different. I knew hi' for 'an# #ear!3 ut there were %ong interva%! etween our 'eeting!. =ie knecht>! )er%in hou!e wa! the headCuarter! of the ,u!!ian N'igrN!. Ever# ti'e it wa! nece!!ar# to rai!e a voice of 0rote!t again!t the friend%# a!!i!tance the 4er'an 0o%ice gave *-ari!'3 we referred fir!t to =ie knecht3 and he ra00ed at a%% the door! and at a%% the !ku%%!. 1%though he wa! an educated "ar/i!t3 he wa! not a theori!t ut a 'an of action. Ai! wa! an i'0u%!ive3 0a!!ionate and heroic natureD he had3 'oreover3 rea% 0o%itica% intuition3 a !en!e of the 'a!!e! and of the !ituation3 and an inco'0ara %e courage of initiative. Ae wa! a revo%utionar#. It wa! ecau!e of thi! that he wa! a%wa#! a ha%f<!tranger in the hou!e of the 4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocrac#3 with it! ureaucratic faith in 'ea!ured 0rogre!! and it! ever<0re!ent readine!! to draw ack. 5hat a grou0 of 0hi%i!tine! and !ha%%ow vu%garian! were the#3 who3 under '# own e#e!3 %ooked down ironica%%# at =ie knechtJ 1t the $ocia% 8e'ocratic congre!! at 7ena3 in the ear%# 0art of $e0te' er3 19113 I wa! a!ked at =ie knecht>! !ugge!tion to !0eak on the t#rannie! of the *-ari!t govern'ent in Fin%and. )ut efore '# turn ca'e3 a re0ort wa! received of the a!!a!!ination of $to%#0in in Kiev. )e e% i''ediate%# egan to Cue!tion 'e& 5hat did the a!!a!!ination 'eanE 5hich 0art# wa! re!0on!i %e for itE 5ou%d not '# 0ro0o!ed !0eech attract unwe%co'e attention fro' the 4er'an 0o%iceE 98o #ou fear3? I a!ked the o%d 'an cautiou!%#3 re'e' ering Sue%ch>! ca!e in $tuttgart3 9that '# 'aking a !0eech 'a# cau!e trou %eE? 9I do3? an!wered )e e%. 9I !hou%d 0refer3 I confe!!3 that #ou do not !0eak.? 9In that ca!e3 there can e no Cue!tion of '# !0eaking.? )e e% !ighed with re%ief. 1 'inute %ater =ie knecht ca'e ru!hing over to 'e with a di!tur ed %ook on hi! face. 9I! it true that #ou have een a!ked not to !0eakE 1nd that #ou agreedE? 9Aow cou%d I refu!eE? I an!wered3 tr#ing to e/cu!e '#!e%f. 9+he ho!t here i! )e e%3 not I.?

=ie knecht gave vent to hi! indignation in a !0eech in which he %a!hed the *-ar>! govern'ent 'erci%e!!%#3 ignoring the !igna%! of the 0re!idiu'3 who did not want to create co'0%ication! # lAse0#a5est<. 1%% the !u !eCuent deve%o0'ent! had their ger' in the!e !'a%% e0i!ode!. 5hen the *-ech trade<union! o00o!ed the 4er'an %eader!hi03 the 1u!trian "ar/i!t! advanced3 again!t the !0%it in the trade organi-ation!3 argu'ent! which !ki%fu%%# counterfeited internationa%i!'. 1t the internationa% congre!! in *o0enhagen3 the re0ort on the Cue!tion wa! read # P%ekhanov. =ike a%% of the ,u!!ian!3 he co'0%ete%# and unre!erved%# !u00orted the 4er'an 0oint of view a! o00o!ed to the *-ech. P%ekhanov>! candidac# a! chair'an of the co''ittee wa! 0ut forward # o%d 1d%er3 who found it 'ore convenient in !uch a de%icate 'atter to have a ,u!!ian for the 0rinci0a% accu!er of $%avic chauvini!'. For '# 0art3 I of cour!e cou%d have nothing in co''on with the !orr# nationa% narrowne!! of !uch 'en a! Ne'ec3 $ouku03 or $'era%3 who tried hard to convince 'e of the @u!tice of the *-ech ca!e. 1t the !a'e ti'e3 I had watched the inner %ife of the 1u!trian %a or 'ove'ent too c%o!e%# to throw a%% or even the 0rinci0a% %a'e u0on the *-ech!. +here wa! 0%ent# of evidence that the rank and fi%e of the *-ech 0art# were 'ore radica% than the 1u!tro<4er'an 0art#3 and that the %egiti'ate di!!ati!faction of the *-ech worker! with the o00ortuni!t %eader!hi0 of (ienna wou%d e c%ever%# uti%i-ed # *-ech chauvini!t! %ike Ne'ec. On the wa# fro' (ienna to the congre!! at *o0enhagen3 at one of the !tation! where I had to change train!3 I !udden%# 'et =enin on hi! wa# fro' Pari!. 5e had to wait a out an hour3 and a !ignificant conver!ation took 0%ace there3 in it! fir!t !tage! ver# friend%#3 %ater Cuite the o00o!ite. I argued that if an# one wa! to %a'e for the !ece!!ion of the *-ech trade<union!3 it wa! fir!t of a%% the (ienna %eader!3 who 'ade high<!ounding a00ea%! to fight to the worker! of a%% countrie!3 inc%uding the *-ech!3 and then a%wa#! ended in dea%! ehind the !cene! with the 'onarch#. =enin %i!tened to 'e with great intere!t. Ae had a 0ecu%iar ca0acit# for attention3 watching the !0eech of hi! inter%ocutor for the e/act thing he wanted3 and 'eanwhi%e %ooking 0a!t hi' into !0ace. Our conver!ation a!!u'ed a ver# different character3 how ever3 when I to%d =enin of '# %ate!t artic%e in the Vor@waerts a out the ,u!!ian $ocia% 8e'ocrac#. +he artic%e wa! written for the congre!!3 and wa! !evere%# critici!ed # oth the "en!hevik! and the )o%!hevik!. +he 'o!t 0rick%# Cue!tion in the artic%e wa! that of !o<ca%%ed 9e/0ro0riation!.? 1fter the defeat of the revo%ution3 ar'ed 9e/0ro0riation!? and terrori!t act! inevita %# tended to di!organi-e the revo%utionar# 0art# it!e%f. +he =ondon congre!!3 # a 'a@orit# of vote! co'0o!ed of "en!hevik!3 Po%e! and !o'e )o%!hevik!3 anned 9e/0ro0riation!.? 5hen the de%egate! !houted fro' their !eat!& 95hat doe! =enin !a#E 5e want to hear =enin3? the %atter on%# chuck%ed3 with a !o'ewhat cr#0tic e/0re!!ion. 1fter the =ondon congre!!3 9e/0ro0riation!? continuedD the# were har'fu% to the 0art#. +hat wa! the 0oint on which I had centred '# attack in the Vorwaerts. 98id #ou rea%%# write %ike thi!E? =enin a!ked 'e re0roach fu%%#. 1t hi! reCue!t I re0eated to hi' fro' 'e'or# the 0rinci0a% idea! a! I had for'u%ated the' in the artic%e. 9*ou%d it e !to00ed # te%egra0hE?

9No3? I an!wered. 9+he artic%e wa! to a00ear thi! 'orning and what>! the u!e of ho%ding it u0E It i! 0erfect%# right.? 1! a 'atter of fact3 the artic%e wa! not right3 for it a!!u'ed that the 0art# wou%d take !ha0e # the union of the )o%!hevik! and the "en!hevik!3 cutting off the e/tre'e!3 wherea! in rea%it# the 0art# wa! for'ed # a 'erci%e!! war of the )o%!hevik! again!t the "en!hevik!. =enin tried to induce the ,u!!ian de%egation at the congre!! to conde'n '# artic%e. +hi! wa! the !har0e!t conf%ict with =enin in '# who%e %ife. Ae wa! unwe%% at the ti'eD he wa! !uffering fro' a vio%ent toothache3 and hi! head wa! a%% andaged. In the ,u!!ian de%egation3 the attitude toward the artic%e and it! author wa! rather ho!ti%eD the "en!hevik! were no %e!! di!0%ea!ed with another artic%e in which the 'ain idea! were directed chief%# again!t the'. 95hat a di!gu!ting artic%e he ha! in the 'e"e ;eitJ? 1/e% rod wrote "artov in Octo er3 1912. 9Perha0! even 'ore di!gu!ting than the one in the Vorwaerts.? 9P%ekanov3 who di!%iked +rot!k# inten!e%#3? =unarchar!k# write!3 9took advantage of the !ituation and tried to engineer ringing hi' to tria%. I thought thi! wa! not fair and !0oke for +rot!k#. +ogether with ,#a-anov3 we he%0ed to co%%a0!e P%ekhanov>! 0%an.? +he 'a@orit# of the ,u!!ian de%egation knew the artic%e on%# fro' indirect re0ort!. I de'anded that it e read. 6inoviev argued that there wa! no need of reading the artic%e to conde'n it. +he 'a@orit# did not agree with hi'. +he artic%e wa! read a%oud and tran!%ated3 if '# 'e'or# !erve! 'e3 # ,#a-anov. +he 0reviou! account of the artic%e 0ictured it a! !uch a 'on!trou! thing that it! reading wa! an antic%i'a/D it !ounded 0erfect%# har'%e!!. )# an over whe%'ing 'a@orit# of vote!3 the de%egation dec%ined to conde'n it. +hi! doe! not 0revent 'e to<da# fro' conde'ning the artic%e a! an incorrect eva%uation of the )o%!hevik faction. On the Cue!tion of the *-ech trade<union!3 the ,u!!ian de%egation voted at the congre!! for the (ienna re!o%ution a! o00o!ed to the one 'oved # Prague. I tried to 'ove an a'end'ent3 ut with no !ucce!!. 1fter a%%3 I wa! not #et !ure of the !ort of a'end'ent that 'u!t e 'ade to the entire 0o%ic# of the $ocia% 8e'ocrac#. +he a'end'ent !hou%d have een in the nature of a dec%aration of a ho%# war again!t it. +hi! 'ove we did not 'ake unti% 191T.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <V00

P!(PA!0'7 F&! A '(* !(V&L6T0&'

8uring the #ear! of the reaction '# work con!i!ted chief%# of inter0reting the revo%ution of 19253 and of 0aving the wa# for the ne/t revo%ution # theoretica% re!earch. $hort%# after '# arriva% a road I toured the ,u!!ian N'igrN and !tudent co%onie! with two %ecture!& The 3ate o% the ,ussian ,e(olutionC 'propos the 1resent 1olitical Situation3 and Capitalis# and Socialis#C Social ,e(olutionary 1rospects. +he fir!t %ecture ai'ed to !how that the 0ro!0ect of the ,u!!ian ,evo%ution a! a 0er'anent revo%ution wa! confir'ed # the e/0erience of 1925. +he !econd %ecture connected the ,u!!ian with the wor%d revo%ution. In Octo er3 192G3 I egan to 0u %i!h in (ienna a ,u!!ian 0a0er3 Pra da (The Tr"th) a 0a0er with an a00ea% to the 'a!!e! of worker!. It wa! !'ugg%ed into ,u!!ia either acro!! the 4a%ician frontier or # wa# of the )%ack $ea. +he 0a0er wa! 0u %i!hed for three and a ha%f #ear! a! a i< 'onth%#3 ut even at that it invo%ved a great dea% of work. +he !ecret corre!0ondence with ,u!!ia took a %ot of ti'e. In addition3 I wa! in contact with the underground union of )%ack $ea !ea'en and he%0ed the' to 0u %i!h their organ. "# chief contri utor to the Pra da wa! 1.1. 7offe3 who %ater eca'e a we%%<known $oviet di0%o'ati!t. +he (ienna da#! were the eginning of our friend!hi0. 7offe wa! a 'an of great inte%%ectua% ardour3 ver# genia% in a%% 0er!ona% re%ation!3 and un!werving%# %o#a% to the cau!e. Ae gave to the Pra da oth 'one# and a%% hi! !trength. 7offe !uffered fro' a nervou! co'0%aint and wa! then eing 0!#choana%#!ed # the we%%<known (ienne!e !0ecia%i!t3 1%fred 1d%er3 who egan a! a 0u0i% of Freud ut %ater o00o!ed hi! 'a!ter and founded hi! own !choo% of individua% 0!#cho%og#. +hrough 7offe3 I eca'e acCuainted with the 0ro %e'! of 0!#cho<ana%#!i!3 which fa!cinated 'e3 a%though 'uch in thi! fie%d i! !ti%% vague and un!ta %e and o0en! the wa# for fancifu% and ar itrar# idea!. "# other contri utor wa! a !tudent na'ed $ko e%ev3 who %ater eca'e the 'ini!ter of %a our in Keren!k#>! govern'entD we 'et in 191; a! ene'ie!. I had (ictor Ko00 for a whi%e a! !ecretar# of the Pra daD he i! now $oviet a' a!!ador to $weden. In connection with the activitie! of the Pra da3 7offe went to ,u!!ia for revo%utionar# work. Ae wa! arre!ted in Ode!!a3 !0ent a %ong ti'e in 0ri!on3 and wa! %ater e/i%ed to $i eria. Ae wa! not !et free unti% Fe ruar#3 191;3 a! a re!u%t of the revo%ution of that 'onth. In the Octo er revo%ution which fo%%owed3 he 0%a#ed one of the 'o!t active 0art!. +he 0er!ona% raver# of thi! ver# !ick 'an wa! rea%%# 'agnificent. I can !ti%% !ee hi' in the autu'n of 1919 a! c%ear%# a! if it were to<da# with hi! rather thick<!et figure on the !he%%<ridden fie%d e%ow $t. Peter! urg. In the i''acu%ate dre!! of a di0%o'at3 with a gent%e !'i%e on hi! ca%' face and a cane in hi! hand3 a! if he were 'ere%# wa%king a%ong Hnter den =inden3 7offe watched the !he%%! e/0%oding near #3 curiou!%#3 without !0eeding or !%owing hi! !te0!. Ae wa! a good !0eaker3 thoughtfu% and earne!t in a00ea%3 and he !howed the !a'e Cua%itie! a! a writer. In ever#thing he did3 he 0aid the 'o!t e/acting attention to de tai% a Cua%it# that not 'an# revo%utionarie! have. =enin had a ver# high o0inion of hi! di0%o'atic work. For a great 'an# #ear! I wa! ound to hi' 'ore c%o!e%# than an# one e%!e. Ai! %o#a%t# to friend!hi0 a! we%% a! to 0rinci0%e wa! uneCua%%ed. 7offe ended hi! %ife tragica%%#. 4rave hereditar# di!ea!e! were under'ining hi! hea%th. 7u!t a! !eriou!%#3 too3 he wa! eing under'ined # the un rid%ed aiting of "ar/i!t! %ed # the e0igone!. 8e0rived of the chance of fighting hi! i%%ne!!3 and !o de0rived of the 0o%itica% !trugg%e3 7offe co''itted !uicide in the autu'n of 19I;. +he %etter he wrote 'e efore hi! death wa! !to%en fro' hi! dre!!ing<ta %e # $ta%in>! agent!. =ine! intended for the e#e! of a friend were torn fro' their conte/t3 di!torted

and e%ied # Yaro!%av!k# and other! intrin!ica%%# de'ora%i!ed. )ut thi! wi%% not 0revent 7offe fro' eing in!cri ed a! one of the no %e!t na'e! in the ook of the revo%ution. In the darke!t da#! of the reaction3 7offe and I were confident%# waiting for a new revo%ution3 and we 0ictured it in the ver# wa# in which it actua%%# evo%ved in 191;. $verchkov3 at that ti'e a "en!hevik and to<da# a fo%%ower of $ta%in3 write! of the (ienna Pra da in hi! 'e'oir!& 9In thi! 0a0er3 he L+rot!k#M continued to advocate3 in!i!tent%# and un!werving%#3 the idea of the P0er'anenc#> of the ,u!!ian revo%ution3 which argue! that after the revo%ution ha! egun it cannot co'e to an end unti% it effect! the overthrow of ca0ita%i!' and e!ta %i!he! the !ocia%i!t !#!te' throughout the wor%d. Ae wa! %aughed at3 accu!ed of ro'antici!' and the !even 'orta% !in! # oth the )o%!hevik! and the "en!hevik!. )ut he !tuck to hi! 0oint with tenacit# and fir'ne!!3 i'0erviou! to the at tack!.? In 19293 writing in the Po%i!h 'aga-ine of ,o!a =u/e' urg3 I characteri!ed the revo%utionar# re%ation!hi0 etween the 0ro%etariat and the 0ea!antr# in the fo%%owing word!& 9=oca% cretini!' i! the hi!torica% cur!e of the 0ea!ant 'ove'ent!. It wa! on the circu'!cri ed 0o%itica% inte%%igence of the 0ea!ant who whi%e in hi! vi%%age 0%undered hi! %and%ord in order to !ei-e hi! %and3 ut then3 decked out in a !o%dier>! coat3 !hot down the worker!3 that the fir!t wave of the ,u!!ian revo%ution (1925) roke. +he event! of that revo%ution 'a# e regarded a! a !erie! of ruth%e!! o @ect<%e!!on! # 'ean! of which hi!tor# i! ha''ering into the head of the 0ea!ant the con!ciou!ne!! of the tie! which connect hi! %oca% de'and for %and with the centra% 0ro %e' of the !tate 0ower.? Suoting the e/a'0%e of Fin%and3 where the $ocia% 8e'ocrac# won great inf%uence a'ong the 0ea!ant! # it! !tand on the Cue!tion of the !'a%%<far'er3 I conc%uded& 95hat great inf%uence wi%% our 0art# then wie%d over the 0ea!antr#3 in the e/erci!e of it! %eader!hi0 of a new and 'uch 'ore wide!0read 'ove'ent of the 'a!!e! in town and countr#J Provided3 of cour!e3 that we do not %a# down our ar'! in our fear of the te'0tation! of 0o%itica% 0ower to which we wi%% inevita %# e !u @ected # the new wave to co'e.? Aow 'uch %ike 9ignoring the 0ea!antr#? or 9@u'0ing over the agrarian Cue!tion3? that i!J On 8ece' er T3 19293 at a ti'e when the revo%ution !ee'ed to have een ho0e%e!!%# and 0er'anent%# tra'0%ed under3 I wrote in the Pra da& 9Even to<da#3 through the %ack c%oud! of the reaction which have !urrounded u!3 we envi!age the victoriou! ref%ection of the new Octo er.? Not on%# the %i era%! ut the "en!hevik! a! we%% ridicu%ed the!e word!3 which the# regarded a! a 'ere !%ogan for agitation3 a! a 0hra!e without content. Profe!!or "i%iukoff3 to who' the honour of coining the ter' 9+rot!k#i!'? e%ong!3 retorted& 9+he idea of dictator!hi0 # the 0ro%etariat i! 0ure%# chi%di!h3 and there i! not a 'an in Euro0e who wi%% !u00ort it.? 1nd #et there were event! in 191; which 'u!t have !haken the 'agnificent confidence of the %i era% 0rofe!!or. 8uring the #ear! of the reaction I !tudied the Cue!tion! of trade and indu!tr# oth on a wor%d !ca%e and a nationa% !ca%e. I wa! 0ro'0ted # a revo%utionar# intere!t. I wanted to find out the re%ation!hi0 etween the f%uctuation! of trade and indu!tr#3 on the one hand3 and the 0rogre!!ive !tage! of the %a our 'ove'ent and revo%utionar# !trugg%e3 on the other. In thi!3 a! in a%% other

Cue!tion! %ike it3 I wa! e!0ecia%%# on '# guard to avoid e!ta %i!hing an auto'atic de0endence of 0o%itic! on econo'ic!. +he interaction 'u!t nece!!ari%# e the re!u%t of the who%e 0roce!! con!idered in it! entiret#. I wa! !ti%% %iving in the %itt%e )ohe'ian town of Air!ch erg when the New York !tock e/change !uffered the 9)%ack Frida#? cata!tro0he. +hi! wa! the har inger of a wor%d cri!i! which wa! ound to engu%f ,u!!ia a! we%%3 !haken to her foundation! a! !he wa! # the ,u!!o<7a0ane!e war3 and # the en!uing revo%ution. 5hat con!eCuence! cou%d e e/0ectedE +he 0oint of view genera%%# acce0ted in the 0art#3 without di!tinction of faction3 wa! that the cri!i! wou%d !erve to heighten the revo%utionar# !trugg%e. I took a different !tand. 1fter a 0eriod of ig att%e! and defeat!3 a cri!i! ha! the effect of de0re!!ing rather than arou!ing the working c%a!!. It under 'ine! the worker!> confidence in their 0ower! and de'ora%i!e! the' 0o%itica%%#. Hnder !uch condition!3 on%# an indu!tria% reviva% can c%o!e the rank! of the 0ro%etariat3 0our fre!h %ood into it! vein!3 re!tore it! confidence in it!e%f and 'ake it ca0a %e of further !trugg%e. +hi! ana%#!i! wa! 'et # critici!' and incredu%it#. +he officia% 0art# econo'i!t! a%!o 0ut forward the idea that under the counter<revo%ution a trade oo' wa! i'0o!!i %e. In o00o!ition3 I a!ed '# argu'ent on the inevita i%it# of an econo'ic reviva% and of the new wave of !trike! it wou%d ring in it! wake3 after which a new econo'ic cri!i! wou%d e %ike%# to 0rovide the i'0etu! for a revo%utionar# !trugg%e. +hi! 0rogno!i! wa! confir'ed to the %etter. 1n indu!tria% oo' ca'e in 19123 in !0ite of the counter<revo%ution and with it ca'e !trike!. +he !hooting down of the worker! at the =ena go%d 'ine! in 191I gave ri!e to great 0rote!t! a%% over the countr#. In 191T when the cri!i! wa! un'i!taka %e3 $t. Peter! urg again eca'e an arena of worker!> arricade!. +he# were witne!!ed # PoincarN3 who vi!ited the *-ar on the eve of the war. +hi! theoretica% and 0o%itica% te!t wa! inva%ua %e in '# future activitie!. 1t the +hird *ongre!! of the *o''uni!t Internationa%3 I had an overwhe%'ing 'a@orit# of the de%egate! again!t 'e when I in!i!ted on the inevita i%it# of an econo'ic reviva% in 0o!t<war Euro0e a! a condition for further revo%utionar# cri!e!. 1nd again in recent ti'e!3 I had to ring again!t the $i/th *ongre!! of the *o''uni!t Internationa% the charge of utter fai%ure to under!tand the reak in the econo'ic and 0o%itica% !ituation in *hina3 a fai%ure which found e/0re!!ion in unwarranted ho0e! that the *hine!e revo%ution3 in !0ite of the di!a!trou! defeat! it had !uffered3 wou%d continue to 0rogre!! ecau!e of the countr#>! growing econo'ic cri!i!. +he dia%ectic! of the 0roce!! are rea%%# not ver# co'0%e/. )ut the# are ea!ier to for'u%ate than to di!cover ever# ti'e in the %iving fact!. 1t an# rate3 in the di!cu!!ion! of thi! Cue!tion I a' con!tant%# co'ing acro!! the 'o!t tenaciou! 0re@udice!3 which %ead in 0o%itic! to grave error! and 0ainfu% con!eCuence!. In it! view of the future of "en!hevi!'3 and of the 0ro %e'! of organi!ation within the 0art#3 the Pra da never arrived at the 0reci!ene!! of =enin>! attitude. I wa! !ti%% ho0ing that the new revo%ution wou%d force the "en!hevik! a! had that of 1925 to fo%%ow a revo%utionar# 0ath. )ut I under e!ti'ated the i'0ortance of 0re0arator# ideo%ogica% !e%ection and of 0o%itica% ca!e< hardening. In Cue!tion! of the inner deve%o0'ent of the 0art# I wa! gui%t# of a !ort of social0 re(olutionary fata%i!'. +hi! wa! a 'i!taken !tand3 ut it wa! va!t%# !u0erior to that bureaucratic

fata%i!'3 devoid of idea!3 which di!tingui!he! the 'a@orit# of '# 0re!ent<da# critic! in the ca'0 of the *o''uni!t Internationa%. In 191I3 when the 0o%itica% curve in ,u!!ia took an un'i!taka %e u0ward turn3 I 'ade an atte'0t to ca%% a union conference of re0re!entative! of a%% the $ocia% 8e'ocratic faction!. +o !how that I wa! not a%one in the ho0e of re!toring the unit# of the ,u!!ian $ocia% 8e'ocrac#3 I can cite ,o!a =u/e' urg. In the !u''er of 19113 !he wrote& 98e!0ite ever#thing3 the unit# of the 0art# cou%d !ti%% e !aved if oth !ide! cou%d e %orced to ca%% a conference together.? In 1ugu!t3 19113 !he reiterated& 9+he on%# wa# to !ave the unit# i! to ring a out a genera% conference of 0eo0%e !ent fro' ,u!!ia3 for the 0eo0%e in ,u!!ia a%% want 0eace and unit#3 and the# re0re!ent the on%# force that can ring the fighting<cock! a road to their !en!e!.? 1'ong the )o%!hevik! the'!e%ve!3 conci%iator# tendencie! were then !ti%% ver# !trong3 and I had ho0ed that thi! wou%d induce =enin a%!o to take 0art in a genera% conference. =enin3 however3 ca'e out with a%% hi! force again!t union. +he en tire cour!e of the event! that fo%%owed 0roved conc%u!ive%# that =enin wa! right. +he conference 'et in (ienna in 1ugu!t3 191I3 without the )o%!hevik!3 and I found '#!e%f for'a%%# in a 9 %oc? with the "en!hevik! and a few di!0arate grou0! of )o%!hevik di!!enter!. +hi! 9 %oc? had no co''on 0o%itica% a!i!3 ecau!e in a%% i'0ortant 'atter! I di!agreed with the "en!hevik!. "# !trugg%e again!t the' wa! re!u'ed i''ediate%# after the conference. Ever# da#3 itter conf%ict! grew out of the dee0<rooted o00o!ition of the two tendencie!3 the !ocia%<revo%utionar# and the de'ocratic<refor'i!t. 9Fro' +rot!k#>! %etter3? write! 1/e%rod on "a# T3 !hort%# efore the conference3 9I got the ver# 0ainfu% i'0re!!ion that he had not the !%ighte!t de!ire to co'e to a rea% and friend%# under!tanding with u! and our friend! in ,u!!ia ... for a @oint fight again!t the co''on ene'#.? Nor had I3 in fact3 nor cou%d I 0o!!i %# have had3 an intention of a%%#ing '#!e%f with the "en!hevik! to fight again!t the )o%!hevik!. 1fter the conference3 "artov co'0%ained in a %etter to 1/e%rod that +rot!k# wa! reviving the 9wor!t ha it! of the =enin<P%ekhanov %iterar# individua%i!'.? +he corre!0ondence etween 1/e%rod and "artov3 0u %i!hed a few #ear! ago3 te!tifie! to thi! 0erfect%# unfeigned hatred of 'e. 8e!0ite the great gu%f which !e0arated 'e fro' the'3 I never had an# !uch fee%ing toward the'. Even to<da#3 I gratefu%%# re'e' er that in ear%ier #ear! I wa! inde ted to the' for 'an# thing!. +he e0i!ode of the 1ugu!t %oc ha! een inc%uded in a%% the 9anti<+rot!k#? te/t< ook! of the e0igone 0eriod. For the enefit of the novice! and the ignorant3 the 0a!t i! there 0re!ented in !uch a wa# a! to !ugge!t that )o%!hevi!' ca'e out of the %a orator# of hi!tor# fu%%# ar'ed wherea! the hi!tor# of the !trugg%e of the )o%!hevik! again!t the "en!hevik! i! a%!o a hi!tor# of cea!e%e!! effort! toward unit#. 1fter hi! return to ,u!!ia in 191;3 =enin 'ade the %a!t effort to co'e to ter'! with the "en!hevik!<Internationa%i!t!. 5hen I arrived fro' 1'erica in "a# of the !a'e #ear3 the 'a@orit# of the $ocia% 8e'ocratic organi!ation! in the 0rovince! con!i!ted of united )o%!hevik! and "en!hevik!. 1t the 0art# conference in "arch3 191;3 a few da#! efore =enin>! arriva%3 $ta%in wa! 0reaching union with the 0art# of +-erete%i. Even after the Octo er revo%ution3 6inoviev3 Ka'enev3 ,#kov3 =unachar!k# and do-en! of other! were fighting 'ad%# for a coa%ition with the $ocia% ,evo%utionarie! and the "en!hevik!. 1nd the!e are the 'en who are now tr#ing to !u!tain their ideo%ogica% e/i!tence # hair<rai!ing !torie! a out the (ienna unit# conference of 191IJ

+he 5ie skaya Mysl (The 5ie Tho"#ht) 'ade 'e an offer to go to the )a%kan! a! it! 'i%itar# corre!0ondent. +he 0ro0o!a% wa! a%% the 'ore ti'e%# ecau!e the 1ugu!t conference had a%read# 0roved to e a ortive. I fe%t that I 'u!t reak awa#3 if on%# for a !hort ti'e3 fro' the intere!t! of the ,u!!ian N'igrN!. +he few 'onth! that I !0ent in the )a%kan! were the 'onth! of the war3 and the# taught 'e 'uch. In $e0te' er3 191I3 I wa! on '# wa# to the Ea!t3 e%ieving that war wa! not on%# 0ro a %e ut inevita %e. )ut when I found '#!e%f on the 0ave'ent! of )e%grade3 and !aw %ong %ine! of re!ervi!t!D when I !aw with '# own e#e! that there wa! no wa# ack3 that war wa! co'ing3 a%'o!t an# da#D when I %earned that a nu' er of 'en who' I knew we%% were a%read# in ar'! on the frontier3 and that the# wou%d e the fir!t to ki%% or e ki%%ed3 then war3 which I had treated !o %ight%# in '# thought! and '# artic%e!3 !ee'ed utter%# incredi %e and i'0o!!i %e. I watched3 a! if it were a 0hanto'3 a regi'ent going to war the eighteenth infantr# regi'ent3 in unifor'! of 0rotective co%ouring and ark !anda%!3 and wearing a !0rig of green in their ca0!. +he !anda%! on their feet and the %itt%e !0rig of green in their ca0!3 in co' ination with the fu%% fighting outfit3 gave the !o%dier! the %ook of 'en doo'ed for !acrifice. 1t that 'o'ent3 nothing !o dee0%# urned the 'adne!! of war into '# con!ciou!ne!! a! tho!e !0rig! and ark !anda%!. Aow far the 0re!ent generation ha! co'e fro' the ha it! and 'ood! of 191IJ I under!tood even then that the hu'anitarian3 the 'ora%3 0oint of view of the hi!torica% 0roce!! wa! the 'o!t !teri%e one. )ut it wa! the e'otion3 not it! e/0%anation3 that 'attered then. 1 !en!e of the traged# of hi!tor#3 which word! cannot !ugge!t3 wa! taking 0o!!e!!ion of 'eD a fee%ing of i'0otence efore fate3 a urning co'0a!!ion for the hu'an %ocu!t. 5ar wa! dec%ared two or three da#! %ater. 9You in ,u!!ia know it3 and e%ieve in it3? I wrote3 9 ut here3 on the !0ot3 I do not e%ieve in it. "# 'ind doe! not acce0t thi! co' ination of the thing! of ever#da# %ife3 of chicken3 cigarette!3 are footed and !'ut<no!ed o#!3 with the incredi %# tragic fact of war. I know that war ha! een dec%ared3 and that it ha! a%read# egun3 ut I have not #et %earned to e%ieve in it.? I had to %earn thi!3 however3 deci!ive%# and for a %ong ti'e. +he #ear! 191I<13 gave 'e a c%o!e acCuaintance with $er ia3 )u%garia3 ,ou'ania and with war. In 'an# re!0ect!3 thi! wa! an i'0ortant 0re0aration not on%# for 191T3 ut for 191; a! we%%. In '# artic%e!3 I %aunched attack! on the fa%!it# of $%avo0hi%i!'3 on chauvini!' in genera%3 on the i%%u!ion! of war3 on the !cientifica%%# organi!ed !#!te' for du0ing 0u %ic o0inion. +he editor! of the 5ie skaya Mysl had the courage to 0rint '# artic%e de!cri ing the )u%garian atrocitie! on the wounded and ca0tured +urk!3 and e/0o!ing the con!0irac# of !i%ence on the 0art of the ,u!!ian 0re!!. +hi! rought forth a !tor' of indignant 0rote!t! fro' the %i era% 0a0er!. On 7anuar# 323 19133 I 0u %i!hed in the new!0a0er an 9e/<0ar%ia'entar# Cue!tion? to "i%iukoff concerning the $%av atrocitie! to the +urk!. "i%iukoff3 the 0er'anent defence<attorne# of officia% )u%garia3 wa! cornered and an!wered !ta''ering%#. +he controver!# %a!ted for !evera% week!3 with the govern'ent 0a0er! a! wa! inevita %e dro00ing hint! that the 0en na'e 91ntid Oto? di!gui!ed not on%# an N'igrN ut a%!o an agent of 1u!tria<Aungar#. +he 'onth I !0ent in ,ou'ania rought 'e into c%o!e co tact with 8o rud@anu<4herea3 and ce'ented '# friend!hi0 with ,akov!k#3 who' I had known !ince 19233 forever.

1 ,u!!ian revo%utionar# of the !eventie! !to00ed in ,ou'ania in 0a!!ing3 on the ver# eve of the ,u!!o<+urki!h warD he wa! detained for a whi%e # circu'!tance! e#ond hi! contro%D a few #ear! %ater3 under the na'e of 4herea3 he had won far<reaching inf%uence over the ,ou'anian inte%%igent!ia3 e/tending it %ater to the 'ore advanced a'ong the worker! a! we%%. =iterar# critici!' on a !ocia% a!i! wa! 4herea>! chief 'ediu' for !ha0ing the 'ore advanced grou0! a'ong the ,ou'anian inte%%igent!ia. +hen3 fro' Cue!tion! of ae!thetic! and 0er!ona% ethic!3 he %ed the' to !cientific !ocia%i!'. +he 'a@orit# of ,ou'anian 0o%itician! of a%'o!t ever# 0art# 0a!!ed through3 at %ea!t in their #ounger da#!3 a rief !choo% of "ar/i!' under 4herea>! guidance. It did not 0revent the'3 however3 fro' 0ur!uing a 0o%ic# of reactionar# anditr# in their ri0er age. *h.4. ,akov!k# i!3 internationa%%#3 one of the e!t<known figure! in the Euro0ean !ocia%i!t 'ove'ent. 1 )u%garian # irth3 ,akov!k# co'e! fro' the town of Kote%3 in the ver# heart of )u%garia3 ut he i! a ,ou'anian !u @ect # dint of the )a%kan 'a03 a French 0h#!ician # education3 a ,u!!ian # connection!3 # !#'0athie! and %iterar# work. Ae !0eak! a%% the )a%kan and four Euro0ean %anguage!D he ha! at variou! ti'e! 0%a#ed an active 0art in the inner working! of four $ocia%i!t 0artie! the )u%garian3 ,u!!ian3 French3 and ,ou'anian to eco'e eventua%%# one of the %eader! of the $oviet Federation3 a founder of the *o''uni!t Internationa%3 0re!ident of the Hkrainian $oviet of Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie!3 and the di0%o'atic $oviet re0re!entative in Eng%and and France on%# to !hare fina%%# the fate of a%% the 9%eft? o00o!ition. ,akov!k#>! 0er!ona% trait!3 hi! road internationa% out%ook3 hi! 0rofound no i%it# of character3 have 'ade hi' 0articu%ar%# odiou! to $ta%in3 who 0er!onifie! the e/act o00o!ite of the!e Cua%itie!. In 19133 ,akov!k# wa! the organi!er and %eader of the ,ou'anian $ocia%i!t 0art#3 which %ater @oined the *o''uni!t Internationa%. +he 0art# wa! !howing con!idera %e growth. ,akov!k# edited a dai%# 0a0er3 which he financed a! we%%. On the coa!t of the )%ack $ea3 not far fro' "anga%ia3 he owned a !'a%% e!tate which he had inherited3 and with the inco'e fro' it he !u00orted the ,ou'anian $ocia%i!t 0art# and !evera% revo%utionar# grou0! and individua%! in other countrie!. Ever# week he !0ent three da#! in )uchare!t3 writing artic%e!3 directing the !e!!ion! of the *entra% *o''ittee3 and !0eaking at 'eeting! and !treet de'on!tration!. +hen he wou%d da!h over to the )%ack $ea coa!t # train3 carr#ing with hi' to hi! e!tate inder<twine3 nai%! and other a00urtenance! of countr# %ifeD he wou%d drive out into the fie%d!3 watching the work of a new tractor3 running ehind it a%ong the furrow in hi! frock<coatD then3 a da# %ater3 he wou%d e !0eeding ack to town !o a! not to e %ate for a 0u %ic 'eeting3 or for !o'e 0rivate !e!!ion. I acco'0anied hi' on one of hi! tri0!3 and cou%d not ut ad'ire hi! !u0era undant energ#3 hi! tire%e!!ne!!3 hi! con!tant !0iritua% a%ertne!!3 and hi! kindne!! to and concern for uni'0ortant 0eo0%e. 5ithin fifteen 'inute! on a !treet in "anga%ia3 ,akov!k# wou%d !witch fro' ,ou'anian to +urki!h3 fro' +urki!h to )u%garian3 and then to 4er'an and French when he wa! ta%king to co%oni!t! or to co''ercia% agent!D then3 fina%%#3 he wou%d !0eak ,u!!ian with the ,u!!ian $ko0t!i3 who are nu'erou! in the ad@oining di!trict. Ae wou%d carr# on conver!ation! a! a %and%ord3 a! a doctor3 a! a )u%garian3 a! a ,ou'anian !u @ect3 and chief%#3 a! a $ocia%i!t. In the!e a!0ect!3 he 0a!!ed efore '# e#e! %ike a %iving 'irac%e on the !treet! of thi! re'ote3 %ei!ure%# and carefree %itt%e 'ariti'e town. 1nd the !a'e night he wou%d again e da!hing to the fie%d of att%e # train. Ae wa! a%wa#! at ea!e and !e%f<confident3 whether he wa! in )uchare!t or $o0hia3 in Pari!3 $t Peter! urg3 or Kharkoff.

+he #ear! of '# !econd foreign e/i%e were #ear! !0ent in writing for the ,u!!ian de'ocratic 0re!!. I 'ade '# de ut in the 5ie skaya Mysl with a %ong artic%e on the "unich @ourna%3 )i12li+issi1"s3 which at one ti'e intere!ted 'e !o 'uch that I went through a%% it! i!!ue! fro' the ver# fir!t one3 when the cartoon! # +.+. Aeine were !ti%% i'0regnated with a 0oignant !ocia% fee%ing. "# c%o!er acCuaintance with the new 4er'an fiction e%ong! to the !a'e 0eriod. I even wrote a %ong !ocia%<critica% e!!a# on 5edekind3 ecau!e intere!t in hi' wa! increa!ing in ,u!!ia with the dec%ine of the revo%utionar# 'ood!. In the !outh of ,u!!ia3 the 5ie skaya Mysl wa! the 'o!t 0o0u%ar radica% 0a0er of the "ar/i!t hue. 1 0a0er %ike it cou%d e/i!t on%# in Kiev3 with it! fee %e indu!tria% %ife3 it! undeve%o0ed c%a!! contradiction!3 and it! %ong<!tanding tradition! of inte%%ectua% radica%i!'. !utatis #utandis3 one can !a# that a radica% 0a0er a00eared in Kiev for the !a'e rea!on that )i12li+issi1"s a00eared in "unich. I wrote there on the 'o!t diver!e !u @ect!3 !o'eti'e! ver# ri!k# a! regard! cen!or!hi0. $hort artic%e! were often the re!u%t of %ong 0re0arator# work. Of cour!e I cou%dn>t !a# a%% that I wanted to in a %ega%%# 0u %i!hed3 non<0arti!an 0a0er. )ut I never wrote what I did not want to !a#. "# artic%e! in the 5ie skaya Mysl have een re0u %i!hed # a $oviet 0u %i!hing hou!e in !evera% vo%u'e!D I didn>t have to recant a thing. It 'a# not e !u0erf%uou! for the 0re!ent 'o'ent to 'ention that I contri uted to the ourgeoi! 0re!! with the for'a% con!ent of the *entra% *o''ittee3 on which =enin had a 'a@orit#. I have a%read# 'entioned that i''ediate%# after our arriva% in (ienna3 we took Cuarter! out of town. 9AUtte%dorf 0%ea!ed 'e3? wrote '# wife. 9+he hou!e wa! etter than we cou%d u!ua%%# get3 a! the vi%%a! here were u!ua%%# rented in the !0ring3 and we rented our! for the autu'n and winter. Fro' the window! we cou%d !ee the 'ountain!3 a%% dark<red autu'n co%our!. One cou%d get into the o0en countr# through a ack gate without going to the !treet. In the winter3 on $unda#!3 the (ienne!e ca'e # on their wa# to the 'ountain!3 with !%ed! and !ki!3 in %itt%e co%oured ca0! and !weater!. In 10ri%3 when we had to %eave our hou!e ecau!e of the dou %ing of the rent3 the vio%et! were a%read# %oo'ing in the garden and their fragrance fi%%ed the roo'! fro' the o0en window!. Aere $er#o-ha wa! orn. 5e had to 'ove to the 'ore de'ocratic $ievering. 9+he chi%dren !0oke ,u!!ian and 4er'an. In the kindergarten and !choo% the# !0oke 4er'an3 and for thi! rea!on the# continued to ta%k 4er'an when the# were 0%a#ing at ho'e. )ut if their father or I !tarted ta%king to the'3 it wa! enough to 'ake the' change in!tant%# to ,u!!ian. If we addre!!ed the' in 4er'an3 the# were e' arra!!ed3 and an!wered u! in ,u!!ian. In %ater #ear!3 the# a%!o acCuired the (ienne!e dia%ect and !0oke it e/ce%%ent%#. 9+he# %iked to vi!it the K%#achko fa'i%#3 where the# received great attention fro' ever# od# the head of the fa'i%#3 hi! wife3 and the grown<u0 chi%dren and were !hown 'an# intere!ting thing! and treated to other!. +he chi%dren were a%!o fond of ,#a-anov3 the we%%<known "ar/ian !cho%ar3 who wa! then %iving in (ienna. Ae caught the i'agination of the o#! with hi! g#'na!tic feat!3 and a00ea%ed to the' with hi! oi!terou! 'anner. Once when the #ounger o# $er#o-ha wa! having hi! hair cut # a ar er and I wa! !itting near hi'3 he eckoned to 'e to co'e over and then whi!0ered in '# ear& PI want hi' to cut '# hair %ike ,#a-anov>!.> Ae had een i'0re!!ed # ,#a-anov>! huge !'ooth a%d 0atchD it wa! not %ike ever# one e%!e>! hairD ut 'uch etter.

95hen =#ovik entered the !choo%3 the Cue!tion of re%igion ca'e u0. 1ccording to the 1u!trian %aw then in force3 chi%dren u0 to the age of fourteen had to have re%igiou! in!truction in the faith of their 0arent!. 1! no re%igion wa! %i!ted in our docu'ent!3 we cho!e the =utheran for the chi%dren ecau!e it wa! a re%igion which !ee'ed ea!ier on the chi%dren>! !hou%der! a! we%% a! their !ou%!. It wa! taught in the hour! after !choo% # a wo'an teacher3 in the !choo%hou!eD =#ovik %iked thi! %e!!on3 a! one cou%d !ee # hi! %itt%e face3 ut he did not think it nece!!ar# to ta%k a out it. One evening I heard hi' 'uttering !o'ething when he wa! in ed. 5hen I Cue!tioned hi'3 he !aid3 >It>! a 0ra#er. You know 0ra#er! can e ver# 0rett#3 %ike 0oe'!.>? Ever !ince '# fir!t foreign e/i%e3 '# 0arent! had een co'ing a road. +he# vi!ited 'e in Pari!D then the# ca'e to (ienna with '# o%de!t daughter L1M3 who wa! %iving with the' in the countr#. In 1912 the# ca'e to )er%in. )# that ti'e the# had eco'e fu%%# reconci%ed to '# fate. +he fina% argu'ent wa! 0ro a %# '# fir!t ook in 4er'an. "# 'other wa! !uffering fro' a ver# grave i%%ne!! (actino'#co!i!). For the %a!t ten #ear! of her %ife3 !he ore it a! if it were !i'0%# another urden3 without !to00ing her work. One of her kidne#! wa! re'oved in )er%inD !he wa! !i/t# then. For a few 'onth! after the o0eration3 her hea%th wa! 'arve%%ou!3 and the ca!e eca'e fa'ou! in 'edica% circ%e!. )ut her i%%ne!! returned !oon after3 and in a few 'onth! !he 0a!!ed awa#. $he died at Yanovka3 where !he had !0ent her working<%ife and had rought u0 her chi%dren. +he %ong (ienna e0i!ode in '# %ife wou%d not e co'0%ete without 'ention of the fact that our c%o!e!t friend! there were the fa'i%# of an o%d N'igrN3 $.=. K%#achko. +he who%e hi!tor# of '# !econd foreign e/i%e i! c%o!e%# intertwined with thi! fa'i%#. It wa! a centre of 0o%itica% and inte%%ectua% intere!t!3 of %ove of 'u!ic3 of four Euro0ean %anguage!3 of variou! Euro0ean connection!. +he death3 in 10ri%3 191T3 of the head of the fa'i%#3 $e'#on =vovich3 wa! a great %o!! to 'e and '# wife. =eo +o%!to# once wrote of hi! ver# ta%ented rother3 $erge#3 that he %acked on%# a few !'a%% defect! to 'ake hi' a great arti!t. One cou%d !a# the !a'e of $e'#on =vovich. Ae had a%% the a i%itie! nece!!ar# to attain great 0ro'inence in 0o%itic!3 e/ce0t that he hadn>t the nece!!ar# defect!. In the K%#achko fa'i%#3 we a%wa#! found friend!hi0 and he%03 and we often needed oth. "# earning! at the 5ie skaya Mysl were Cuite enough for our 'ode!t %iving. )ut there were 'onth! when '# work for the Pra da %eft 'e no ti'e to write a !ing%e 0a#ing %ine. +he cri!i! !et in. "# wife %earned the road to the 0awn<!ho0!3 and I had to re!e%% to the ook!e%%er! ook! ought in 'ore aff%uent da#!. +here were ti'e! when our 'ode!t 0o!!e!!ion! were confi!cated to 0a# the hou!e<rent. 5e had two a ie! and no nur!eD our %ife wa! a dou %e urden on '# wife. )ut !he !ti%% found ti'e and energ# to he%0 'e in revo%utionar# work.

'otes
1. )# the author>! fir!t 'arriage. B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <V000

T3( 8(70''0'7 &F T3( *A!

In (ienna3 the in!cri0tion 91%%e $er en 'ii!!en !ter en? a00eared on the hoarding!3 and the word! eca'e the cr# of the !treet o#!. Our #ounge!t !on3 $er#o-ha3 0ro'0ted3 a! u!ua%3 # an in!tinct for eing contradictor#3 !houted on the $ievering *o''on& 9Aoch $er ienJ? Ae ca'e ho'e with a %ack e#e and e/0erience in internationa% 0o%itic!. )uchanan3 the for'er )riti!h a' a!!ador to $t. Peter! urg3 !0eak! with e/a%tation in hi! 'e'oir! of 9tho!e wonderfu% ear%# 1ugu!t da#!? when 9,u!!ia !ee'ed to have een co'0%ete%# tran!for'ed.? +here i! !i'i%ar e/a%tation in the 'e'oir! of other !tate!'en3 a%though the# 'a# not e' od# the !e%f<!ati!fied fatuit# of the ru%ing c%a!!e! with the co'0%etene!! of )uchanan. 1%% the Euro0ean ca0ita%! were having eCua%%# 9wonderfu%? da#! in 1ugu!t. +he# were a%% entire%# 9tran!for'ed? for the u!ine!! of 'utua% e/ter'ination. +he 0atriotic enthu!ia!' of the 'a!!e! in 1u!tria<Aungar# !ee'ed e!0ecia%%# !ur0ri!ing. 5hat wa! it that drew to the !Cuare in front of the 5ar "ini!tr# the (ienne!e oot'aker>! a00rentice3 Po!0i!chi%3 ha%f 4er'an3 ha%f *-echD or our greengrocer3 Frau "are!chD or the ca 'an Frank%E 5hat !ort of an ideaE +he nationa% ideaE )ut 1u!tria<Aungar# wa! the ver# negation of an# nationa% idea. No3 the 'oving force wa! !o'ething different. +he 0eo0%e who!e %ive!3 da# in and da# out3 0a!! in a 'onoton# of ho0e%e!!ne!! are 'an#D the# are the 'ain!ta# of 'odern !ociet#. +he a%ar' of 'o i%i-ation reak! into their %ive! %ike a 0ro'i!eD the fa'i%iar and %ong<hated i! overthrown3 and the new and unu!ua% reign! in it! 0%ace. *hange! !ti%% 'ore incredi %e are in !tore for the' in the future. For etter or wor!eE For the etter3 of cour!e B what can !ee' wor!e to Po0i!chi% than 9nor'a%? condition!E I !trode a%ong the 'ain !treet! of the fa'i%iar (ienna and watched a 'o!t a'a-ing crowd fi%% the fa!hiona %e ,ing3 a crowd in which ho0e! had een awakened. )ut wa!n>t a !'a%% 0art of the!e ho0e! a%read# eing rea%i-edE 5ou%d it have een 0o!!i %e at an# other ti'e for 0orter!3 %aundre!!e!3 !hoe'aker!3 a00rentice! and #oung!ter! fro' the !u ur ! to fee% the'!e%ve! 'a!ter! of the !ituation in the ,ingE 5ar affect! ever# od#3 and tho!e who are o00re!!ed and deceived # %ife con!eCuent%# fee% that the# are on an eCua% footing with the rich and 0owerfu%. It 'a# !ee' a 0arado/3 ut in the 'ood! of the (ienne!e crowd that wa! de'on!trating the g%or# of the Aa0! urg ar'! I detected !o'ething fa'i%iar to 'e fro' the Octo er da#! of 19253 in $t. Peter! urg. No wonder that in hi!tor# war ha! often een the 'other of revo%ution. 1nd #et how different3 or3 to e 'ore 0reci!e3 how contra!ting3 were the attitude! of the ru%ing c%a!!e! to the one and to the otherJ +o )uchanan3 tho!e da#! !ee'ed wonderfu%3 and ,u!!ia

tran!for'ed. On the other hand3 5itte wrote a out the 'o!t 0athetic da#! of the revo%ution of 19253 9+he overwhe%'ing 'a@orit# of ,u!!ian! !ee' to have gone 'ad.? =ike revo%ution3 war force! %ife3 fro' to0 to otto'3 awa# fro' the eaten track. )ut revo%ution direct! it! %ow! again!t the e!ta %i!hed 0ower. 5ar3 on the contrar#3 at fir!t !trengthen! the !tate 0ower which3 in the chao! engendered # war3 a00ear! to e the on%# fir' !u00ort and then under'ine! it. Ao0e! of !trong !ocia% and nationa% 'ove'ent!3 whether it e in Prague or in +rie!te3 in 5ar!aw or +if%i!3 are utter%# ground%e!! at the out!et of a war. In $e0te' er3 191T3 I wrote to ,u!!ia& 9+he 'o i%i-ation and dec%aration of war have verita %# !we0t off the face of the earth a%% the nationa% and !ocia% contradiction! in the countr#. )ut thi! i! on%# a 0o%itica% de %a#3 a !ort of 0o%itica% 'oratoriu'. +he note! have een e/ tended to a new date3 ut the# wi%% have to e 0aid.? In the!e cen!ored %ine!3 I referred3 of cour!e3 not on%# to 1u!tria<Aungar#3 ut to ,u!!ia a! we%% in fact3 to ,u!!ia 'o!t of a%%. Event! were crowding one another. +here ca'e the re0ort of the a!!a!!ination of 7aurN!. +he new!0a0er! were !o fu%% of 'a%iciou! %ie! that there wa! !ti%% a 0o!!i i%it#3 for a few hour! at %ea!t3 of dou t and ho0e. )ut !oon even thi! di!a00eared. 7aurN! had een ki%%ed # hi! ene'ie! and etra#ed # hi! own 0art#. 5hat attitude toward the war did I find in the %eading circ%e! of the 1u!trian $ocia% 8e'ocrac#E $o'e were Cuite o viou!%# 0%ea!ed with it3 and !0oke a u!ive%# of $er ian! and ,u!!ian!3 'aking %itt%e di!tinction etween the govern'ent! and the 0eo0%e. +he!e were rea%%# nationa%i!t!3 are%# di!gui!ed under the veneer of a !ocia%i!t cu%ture which wa! now 'e%ting awa# a! fa!t a! it cou%d. I re'e' er Aan! 8eut!ch3 in %ater #ear! !o'e !ort of a war 'ini!ter3 ta%king o0en%# of the inevita i%it# and the !a%utar# nature of thi! war3 which wa! at %a!t to rid 1u!tria of the $er ian 9night'are.? Other!3 with (ictor 1d%er at their head3 regarded the war a! an e/terna% cata!tro0he which the# had to 0ut u0 with. +heir 0a!!ive waiting3 however3 on%# !erved a! a cover for the active nationa%i!t wing. $o'e3 with an air of eing ver# 0rofound3 re'e' ered the 4er'an victor# of 1G;13 which gave an i'0etu! to 4er'an indu!tr#3 and3 a%ong with it3 to the $ocia% 8e'ocrac#. On the fir!t of 1ugu!t3 4er'an# dec%ared war again!t ,u!!ia. Even efore then3 ,u!!ian! had egun to %eave (ienna. On the 'orning of 1ugu!t 33 I went to the 5ien-ei%e to take coun!e% with the $ocia%i!t de0utie! a! to what we ,u!!ian N'igrN! !hou%d do. Friedrich 1d%er continued3 through !heer inertia3 to u!# hi'!e%f in hi! roo' with ook!3 0a0er!3 and !ta'0! for the Internationa% $ocia%i!t *ongre!! !oon to have 'et in (ienna. )ut the congre!! had a%read# een re%egated to the 0a!t B other force! were occu0#ing the fie%d. O%d 1d%er !ugge!ted that he take 'e with hi'3 at once3 to headCuarter!3 that i!3 to 4e#er3 the chief of the 0o%itica% 0o%ice. On our wa# to the 0refecture # auto'o i%e3 I drew 1d%er>! attention to the fe!ta% 'ood that war a%one had cau!ed. 9It i! tho!e who do not have to go to war who !how their @o#3? he an!wered 0ro'0t%#. 9)e!ide!3 a%% the un a%anced3 a%% the 'ad 'en now co'e out into the !treet!D it i! their da#. +he 'urder of 7aurW! i! on%# the eginning. 5ar o0en! the door for a%% in!tinct!3 a%% for'! of 'adne!!.? 1 0!#chiatri!t # 0rofe!!ion3 1d%er often a00roached 0o%itica% event! 9e!0ecia%%# 1u!trian3? he wou%d re'ark ironica%%# fro' the 0!#cho0atho%ogica% 0oint of view. Aow far he then wa! fro'

thinking that hi! own !on wou%d co''it a 0o%itica% 'urderJ On the ver# eve of the war3 I 0u %i!hed an artic%e in the 5a12f 'aga-ine3 edited # 1d%er>! !on3 !howing the futi%it# of individua% terrori!'. It i! !ignificant that the editor war'%# a00roved the artic%e. +he terrori!t act co''itted # Friedrich 1d%er wa! 'ere%# an out ur!t of o00ortuni!' in de!0air3 nothing 'ore. L1M 1fter he had vented hi! de!0air3 he returned to hi! o%d rut. 4e#er cautiou!%# indicated the 0o!!i i%it# that a%% ,u!!ian! and $er ian! 'ight e 0ut under arre!t the fo%%owing 'orning. 9+hen #our advice i! to %eaveE? 9+he !ooner3 the etter.? 94ood. I wi%% %eave with '# fa'i%# for $wit-er%and to'orrow.? 9A'... I !hou%d 0refer that #ou do it to<da#.? +hi! conver!ation took 0%ace at three o>c%ockD at Q.12 that evening3 I wa! a%read# !itting with '# fa'i%# in the train ound for 6urich. )ehind u!3 we had %eft the tie! of !even #ear!3 and ook!3 0a0er!3 and unfini!hed writing!3 inc%uding a 0o%e'ic again!t Profe!!or "a!ar#k on the future 0ro!0ect! of ,u!!ian cu%ture. +he te%egra' te%%ing of the ca0itu%ation of the 4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocrac# !hocked 'e even 'ore than the dec%aration of war3 in !0ite of the fact that I wa! far fro' a naive idea%i-ing of 4er'an !ocia%i!'. 9+he Euro0ean !ocia%i!t 0artie!3? I wrote a! ear%# a! 19253 and reiterated 'ore than once after ward3 9have deve%o0ed their own con!ervati!'3 which grow! !tronger the 'ore the 'a!!e! are ca0tured # !ocia%i!'. In view of thi!3 the $ocia% 8e'ocrac# can eco'e3 at a definite 'o'ent3 an actua% o !tac%e in the wa# of an o0en conf%ict etween the worker! and the ourgeoi! reaction. In other word!3 the 0ro0agandi!t !ocia%i!t con!ervati!' of the 0ro%etariat 0art# 'a# at a certain 'o'ent o !truct the direct !trugg%e for 0ower # the 0ro%etariat.? I did not e/0ect the officia% %eader! of the Internationa%3 in ca!e of war3 to 0rove the'!e%ve! ca0a %e of !eriou! revo%utionar# initiative. 1t the !a'e ti'e3 I cou%d not even ad'it the idea that the $ocia% 8e'ocrac# wou%d !i'0%# cower on it! e%%# efore a nationa%i!t 'i%itari!'. 5hen the i!!ue of the Vorwaerts that contained the re0ort of the 'eeting of the ,eich!tag on 1ugu!t T arrived in $wit-er%and3 =enin decided that it wa! a faked nu' er 0u %i!hed # the 4er'an genera% !taff to deceive and frighten their ene'ie!. For3 de!0ite hi! critica% 'ind3 =enin>! faith in the 4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocrac# wa! !ti%% a! !trong a! that. 1t the !a'e ti'e3 the (ienna Ar,eiter>;eit"n# 0roc%ai'ed the da# of the ca0itu%ation of 4er'an $ocia%i!' a! 9the great da# of the 4er'an nation.? +hi! wa! the ca0<!heaf of 1u!ter%it- hi! own 91u!ter%it-?J I did not think the Vorwaerts a fakeD '# fir!t 0er !ona% i'0re!!ion! in (ienna had a%read# 0re0ared 'e for the wor!t. Neverthe%e!!3 the vote of 1ugu!t T ha! re'ained one of the tragic e/0erience! of '# %ife. 5hat wou%d Enge%! have !aidE I a!ked '#!e%f. +o 'e3 the an!wer wa! o viou!. 1nd how wou%d )e e% have actedE Aere3 I wa! not !o certain. )ut )e e% wa! dead. +here wa! on%# Aaa!e3 an hone!t 0rovincia% de'ocrat3 with no theoretica% out%ook or revo%utionar# te'0er. In ever# critica% !ituation3 he wa! inc%ined to refrain fro' deci!ive !o%ution!D he 0referred to re!ort

to ha%f<'ea!ure! and to wait. Event! were too great for hi'. 1nd e#ond hi' one !aw the $cheide'ann!3 the E ert!3 the 5e%!e!. $wit-er%and ref%ected 4er'an# and France3 on%# in a neutra%3 that i! to !a#3 a !u dued3 wa# and a%!o on a 'uch<reduced !ca%e. 1! if to 'ake the !ituation 'ore o viou!3 the $wi!! 0ar%ia'ent had a! 'e' er! two $ocia%i!t de0utie!3 with identica% na'e!& one wa! 7ohann $igg fro' 6urich3 the other 7ean $igg fro' 4eneva. 7ohann wa! a ra id 4er'ano0hi%e3 and 7ean a !ti%% 'ore ra id Franco0hi%e. $uch wa! the $wi!! 'irror of the Internationa%. 1 out the !econd 'onth of the war3 in a !treet in 6urich I 'et o%d "o%ken uhr3 who had co'e there to 'ou%d 0u %ic o0inion. +o '# Cue!tion a! to how hi! 0art# vi!ua%i-ed the cour!e of the wor%d war3 the o%d 'e' er of the ;orstand an!wered& 98uring the ne/t two 'onth! we wi%% fini!h FranceD then we wi%% turn to the ea!t and fini!h the *-ar>! ar'ie!D and three3 or at 'o!t3 four 'onth! %ater3 we wi%% give Euro0e a %a!ting 0eace.? +hi! an!wer i! entered in '# diar# word for word. "o%ken uhr wa! !tating3 of cour!e3 not hi! own e!ti'ate of the !ituationD he wa! !i'0%# e/0re!!ing the officia% o0inion of the $ocia% 8e'ocrac#. 1t the !a'e ti'e3 the French a' a!!ador to $t. Peter! urg wagered )uchanan five 0ound! !ter%ing that the war wou%d e over efore *hri!t'a!. No3 we 9uto0ian!? fore!aw thing! a %itt%e etter than the!e rea%i!tic gent%e'en fro' the $ocia% 8e'ocrac# and the di0%o'atic circ%e!. $wit-er%and3 our refuge fro' the war3 re'inded 'e of '# Finni!h 0en!ion3 ,auha3 where3 in the autu'n of 19253 I had received new! of the revo%ution in ,u!!ia. Of cour!e3 the $wi!! ar'# wa! a%!o 'o i%i-ed3 and in )a!e% one cou%d even hear the noi!e of cannonading. )ut the huge Ae%vetian 0en!ion worried chief%# over the !ur0%u! of chee!e and the !hortage of 0otatoe!3 and re!e' %ed a Cuiet oa!i! !urrounded # the fier# echoe! of war. Perha0! the hour i! not !o far off3 I !ugge!ted to '#!e%f3 when I can %eave the $wi!! oa!i! ,auha (Peace) to return again to the $t. Peter! urg worker! in the ha%% of the +echno%ogica% In!titute. )ut that hour did not co'e unti% thirt#<three 'onth! %ater. 1 de!ire to c%arif# '# thought! a out what wa! ha00ening 'ade 'e turn to a diar#. 1! ear%# a! 1ugu!t 93 I wrote in it& 9It i! 0erfect%# o viou! that the Cue!tion here i! not one of 'i!take!3 of certain o00ortuni!t act!3 of confu!ed !tate'ent! fro' the 0ar%ia'entar# tri une3 of the voting of the udget # the $ocia% 8e'ocrat! of the 4rand 8uch# of )aden3 of the e/0eri'ent! of French 'i%itari!'3 of certain %eader! turning renegade it i! a Cue!tion of the collapse o% the &nternational3 at the ti'e of greate!t re!0on!i i%it#3 a ti'e for which a%% the 0re ceding work wa! on%# 0re0aration.? On 1ugu!t 113 I entered thi!& 9On%# an awakening of the revo%utionar# !ocia%i!t 'ove'ent3 an awakening which wi%% need to e ver# war%ike fro' the !tart3 wi%% %a# the foundation! for a new Internationa%. +he #ear! to co'e wi%% e the 0eriod of a !ocia% revo%ution.? I entered active%# into the %ife of the $wi!! $ocia%i!t 0art#. In it! %ower or %a or !trata3 internationa%i!' wa! regarded with a%'o!t ound%e!! !#'0ath#. I carried awa# fro' ever# 0art# 'eeting a dou %e !tore of a!!urance in the rightne!! of '# !tand. I found '# fir!t !tanchion of !u00ort in the worker!> union3 -intracht3 which wa! internationa% in it! 'e' er!hi0. )#

agree'ent with the directorate of the union3 in the ear%# 0art of $e0te' er I drafted a 'anife!to again!t war and !ocia%i!t 0atrioti!'. +he directorate invited the %eader! of the 0art# to the 'eeting where I wa! to read a 0a0er in 4er'an in !u00ort of the 'anife!to. +he %eader! did not arrive. +he# thought it wa! dangerou! to take a definite !tand on !uch a ri!t%ing Cue!tionD the# 0referred to wait and confine the'!e%ve!3 for the ti'e eing3 to fire!ide critici!ing! of the 9e/tre'e!? of 4er'an and French chauvini!'. +he 'eeting of the -intracht a%'o!t unani'ou!%# ado0ted the 'anife!to3 which3 for a%% it! a' iguitie!3 gave a decided i'0etu! to 0u %ic o0inion in the 0art#. +hi! wa! 0ro a %# the fir!t internationa%i!t docu'ent on eha%f of a %a or organi-ation after the out reak of the war. In tho!e da#!3 I ca'e for the fir!t ti'e into c%o!e contact with ,adek3 who had co'e to $wit-er%and fro' 4er'an# at the eginning of the war. In the 4er'an 0art# he e%onged to the e/tre'e =eft3 and I ho0ed to find in hi' one who !hared '# view!. Indeed3 ,adek conde'ned the ru%ing !ection of the 4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocrac# in fierce%# 'i%itant tone!. In thi! I wa! with hi'. )ut I wa! !ur0ri!ed to %earn fro' our conver!ation! that he never conceded the 0o!!i i%it# of a 0ro%etarian revo%ution in connection with the war3 and3 genera%%# !0eaking3 in the near future. 9No3? he re0%ied3 9for thi! the 0roductive force! of 'ankind3 taken a! a who%e3 are not !ufficient%# deve%o0ed.? I wa! Cuite u!ed to hearing that the 0roductive force! of ,u!!ia were not !ufficient for the conCue!t of 0ower # the working c%a!!. )ut I did not i'agine that !uch an an!wer cou%d co'e fro' a revo%utionar# 0o%itician of a 0rogre!!ive ca0ita%i!t countr#. $hort%# after '# de0arture fro' 6urich3 ,adek read a %ong 0a0er in the ver# !a'e -intracht3 arguing that the ca0ita%i!t wor%d wa! not #et read# for the $ocia% ,evo%ution. ,adek>! 0a0er3 and 6urich a! the genera% !ocia%i!t cro!!road! at the out!et of the war3 are de!cri ed in the rather intere!ting 'e'oir! of a $wi!! writer3 )ru0 acher. *uriou!%# enough3 he refer! to '# view! at that ti'e a! 90acifi!t.? 5hat he 'ean! # the word it i! difficu%t to under!tand. Ae e/0re!!e! hi! own 0rogre!! at that ti'e in the tit%e of one of hi! ook!3 Fro1 a )1"# %iti:en to a 8olshe ik. I got a c%ear enough idea of hi! view! at that ti'e to !u !cri e unre!erved%# to the fir!t ha%f of the tit%e. For the !econd ha%f3 I take no re!0on!i i%it#. 5hen the 4er'an and French !ocia%i!t new!0a0er! had 'ade c%ear the 0icture of the 'ora% and 0o%itica% cata!tro0he of officia% $ocia%i!'3 I 0ut a!ide '# diar# to write a 0o%itica% 0a'0h%et on the !u @ect of war and the Internationa%. I'0re!!ed # '# fir!t conver!ation with ,adek3 I added a 0reface to the 0a'0h%et in which I e'0ha!i-ed even 'ore energetica%%# '# view that the 0re!ent war wa! nothing ut an u0ri!ing of the 0roductive force! of ca0ita%i!' on a wor%d !ca%e3 again!t 0rivate 0ro0ert# on the one hand and !tate oundarie! on the other. +he ook%et3 The *ar and the 0nternational3 %ike a%% '# other ook!3 had it! own 0ecu%iar de!tin#3 fir!t in $wit-er%and3 then in 4er'an# and France3 %ater in 1'erica3 and fina%%# in $oviet ,u!!ia. 1 few word! 'u!t e !aid a out a%% thi!. "# work wa! tran!%ated fro' the ,u!!ian 'anu!cri0t # a ,u!!ian who!e co''and of 4er'an wa! far fro' 0erfect. 1 0rofe!!or in 6urich3 ,aga-3 took it u0on hi'!e%f to edit the tran!%ation3 and thi! gave 'e an o00ortunit# to know an origina% 0er!ona%it#. ,aga-3 a%though a e%ieving *hri!tian3 eing 'oreover a theo%ogian # education and 0rofe!!ion3 occu0ied a 0o!ition on the e/tre'e %eft of the $wi!! !ocia%i!'3 recogni-ed the 'o!t e/tre'e

'ethod! of !trugg%e again!t the war3 and e/0re!!ed hi'!e%f in favor of the 0ro%etarian revo%ution. Ae and hi! wife attracted 'e # the 0rofound 'ora% earne!tne!! of their attitude toward 0o%itica% 0ro %e'!3 an attitude which di!tingui!hed the' !o favora %# fro' the 1u!trian3 the 4er'an3 $wi!! and other officia%! of the $ocia% 8e'ocrac#3 who were !o utter%# de void of idea%!. 1! far a! I know3 he wa! forced %ater on to !acrifice hi! chair at the Hniver!it# ecau!e of hi! idea!. For the c%a!! that he e%onged to3 thi! wa! con!idera %e. 1nd #et in the conver!ation! I had with hi'3 I wou%d !en!e3 a%ong with '# great re!0ect for thi! unu!ua% 'an3 an a%'o!t 0h#!ica% !en!ation a! of a thin ut utter%# i'0enetra %e vei% !e0arating u! fro' each other. Ae wa! an out<and<out '#!tic3 and a%though he did not 0re!! hi! e%ief! on 'e or even 'ention the'3 !ti%% in hi! !0eech even an ar'ed u0ri!ing wou%d eco'e inve!ted with !o'e !ort of va0or! fro' another wor%d which 0roduced in 'e nothing ut an unco'forta %e !hiver. Fro' the ver# 'o'ent that I egan to think for '#!e%f3 I wa! an intuitive and then a con!ciou! 'ateria%i!t. I not on%# never fe%t the nece!!it# of other wor%d!3 ut I cou%d not find an# 0!#cho%ogica% contact with the 0eo0%e who 'anaged to recogni-e oth 8arwin and the Ao%# +rinit# at the !a'e ti'e. )ut the ook3 thank! to ,aga-3 ca'e out in good 4er'an. Fro' $wit-er%and3 it found it! wa#3 a! ear%# a! 8ece' er3 191T3 to 1u!tria and 4er'an#. +he $wi!! =eft<winger! F. P%atten and other! !aw to that. Intended for 4er'an countrie!3 the 0a'0h%et wa! directed fir!t of a%% again!t the 4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocrac#3 the %eading 0art# of the $econd Internationa%. I re'e' er that a @ourna%i!t na'ed Aei%'ann3 who 0%a#ed fir!t<vio%in in the orche!tra of chauvini!'3 ca%%ed '# ook 'ad3 ut Cuite %ogica% in it! 'adne!!. I cou%d not have wi!hed for greater 0rai!e. +here wa!3 of cour!e3 no %ack of hint! that '# ook wa! an artfu% too% of Entente 0ro0aganda. =ater on3 in France3 I ca'e une/0ected%# acro!! a re0ort in the French 0a0er!3 # wa# of $wit-er%and3 that one of the 4er'an court! had !entenced 'e in a !tate of contu'ac# to i'0ri!on'ent for the 6urich 0a'0h%et. Fro' thi! I conc%uded that the 0a'0h%et had hit the 'ark. +he Aohen-o%%ern @udge! did 'e a ver# good turn # their !entence3 a !entence that I wa! not in an# hurr# to !erve. For the !%anderer! and !0ie! of the Entente3 thi! 4er'an court<!entence wa! a%wa#! a !tu' %ing< %ock in their no %e effort! to 0rove that I wa! nothing 'ore than an agent of the 4er'an genera% !taff. +hi! did not kee0 the French authoritie!3 however3 fro' ho%ding u0 '# ook at the frontier on the !trength of it! 94er'an origin.? 1n a' iguou! note defending '# 0a'0h%et again!t the French cen!or!hi0 a00eared in the new!0a0er 0u %i!hed # AervN. I e%ieve that it wa! written # *h. ,a00a0ort3 a 'an of !o'e note3 who wa! a%'o!t a "ar/i!tD at an# rate3 he wa! the author of the greate!t nu' er of 0un! ever invented # an# 'an who ha! devoted a %ong %ife to the'. 1fter the Octo er revo%ution3 an enter0ri!ing New York 0u %i!her rought out '# 4er'an 0a'0h%et a! an i'0o!ing 1'erican ook. 1ccording to hi! own !tate'ent3 Pre!ident 5i%!on a!ked hi'3 # te%e0hone fro' the 5hite Aou!e3 to !end the 0roof! of the ook to hi'D at that ti'e3 the Pre!ident wa! co'0o!ing hi! Fourteen Point!3 and3 according to re0ort! fro' 0eo0%e who were infor'ed3 cou%d not get over the fact that a )o%!hevik had fore!ta%%ed hi' in hi! e!t for'u%a!. 5ithin two 'onth! the !a%e! of the ook in 1'erica reached 1Q3222 co0ie!. +hen ca'e the da#! of the )re!t<=itov!k 0eace. +he 1'erican 0re!! rai!ed a furiou! ca'0aign again!t 'e3 and the ook in!tant%# di!a00eared fro' the 'arket.

In the $oviet ,e0u %ic3 '# 6urich 0a'0h%et had # that ti'e gone through !evera% edition!3 !erving a! a te/t< ook for the !tud# of the "ar/i!t attitude toward the war. It di!a00eared fro' the 9'arket? of the *o''uni!t Internationa% on%# after 19IT3 the #ear when 9+rot!k#i!'? wa! di!covered. 1t 0re!ent3 the 0a'0h%et i! !ti%% under a an3 a! it wa! efore the revo%ution. Indeed3 it wou%d !ee' that ook! have their own de!tin#.

'otes
1. Friedrich 1d%er3 !on of (ictor 1d%er3 !hot *ount $tUrgkh3 the 1u!tro<Aungarian 0re'ier3 on Octo er I13 191Q. Ae received the death<!entence3 %ater co''uted to i'0ri!on'ent. Ae wa! re%ea!ed fro' 0ri!on # the revo%ution of 191G. < Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <0<

PA!0)- A'D ;0MM(!*ALD

On Nove' er 193 191T3 I cro!!ed the French frontier a! a war<corre!0ondent for the 5ie skaya Mysl. I acce0ted the offer fro' the 0a0er a%% the 'ore eager%# ecau!e it wou%d give 'e a chance to get c%o!er to war. Pari! wa! !adD in the evening the !treet! were %o!t in 0itch< %ack darkne!!. Now and then the 6e00e%in! wou%d 0a# their f%#ing vi!it!. 1fter the checking of the 4er'an advance on the "arne3 the war eca'e con!tant%# 'ore e/acting and ruth%e!!. In the ound%e!! chao! that wa! enve%o0ing Euro0e3 with !i%ence fro' the 'a!!e! of worker!3 deceived and etra#ed # the $ocia% 8e'ocrac#3 the engine! of de!truction were deve%o0ing their auto'atic 0ower. *a0ita%i!t civi%i-ation wa! reducing it!e%f to an a !urdit# whi%e it !trove to reak the thick !ku%%! of 'en. 1t the ti'e when the 4er'an! were nearing Pari! and the ourgeoi! French 0atriot! were de!erting it3 two N'igrN ,u!!ian! !et u0 a tin# dai%# 0a0er 0u %i!hed in ,u!!ian. It! o @ect wa! to e/0%ain current event! to the ,u!!ian! who' fate had i!o%ated in Pari!3 and to !ee that the !0irit of internationa% !o%idarit# wa! not utter%# e/tingui!hed. )efore the fir!t nu' er a00eared3 the ca0ita% of the 0a0er a'ounted to e/act%# thirt# franc!. No 9!ane? 0er!on cou%d e%ieve it 0o!!i %e to 0u %i!h a dai%# 0a0er on !o %itt%e ca0ita%. 1! a 'atter of fact3 in !0ite of work donated # the editor! and other contri utor!3 at %ea!t once a week the 0a0er went through a cri!i! !o acute that there !ee'ed to e no wa# out. )ut !o'ehow a wa# out wa! found. +he co'0o!itor!3 faithfu% to the 0a0er3 went hungr#3 the editor! !coured the town in !earch of franc!3 and the i!!ue that wa! due a00eared. In thi! wa#3 with!tanding the con!tant uffet! of deficit and cen!or!hi03

di!a00earing and rea00earing again under a new na'e3 the 0a0er 'anaged to e/i!t for two #ear! and a ha%f3 unti% the revo%ution of Fe ruar#3 191;. 1rriving in Pari!3 I egan to work active%# for the 'ashe )lo o (&"r *ord) which then wa! ca%%ed the 7olos (The Voi+e). 1 dai%# 0a0er 0roved a va%ua %e aid in orienting '#!e%f in the 'id!t of the event! that were un%olding. "# e/0erience on the 'ashe )lo o wa! u!efu% to 'e %ater3 when I had to dea% with 'i%itar# affair! 'ore c%o!e%#. "# fa'i%# ca'e to France in "a#3 1915. 5e !ett%ed down in $Wvre!3 in a %itt%e hou!e %ent to u! for a few 'onth! # a #oung friend of our!3 an Ita%ian arti!t3 ,enN Parece. Our o#! went to the !choo% in $Wvre!. +he !0ring wa! ver# %ove%#D it! greenne!! !ee'ed e!0ecia%%# care!!ing. )ut the nu' er of wo'en in %ack wa! growing con!tant%#D the !choo%<chi%dren were %o!ing their father!. +he two ar'ie! dug the'!e%ve! into the ground. One cou%d !ee no wa# out. *%N'enceau wa! %aunching attack! again!t 7offre in hi! 0a0er. In the reactionar# underground circ%e! a coup d<tat wa! eing 0re0aredD re0ort! of it were 0a!!ing # word of 'outh. In the 0age! of Le Te12s3 the 0ar%ia'ent for !evera% da#! wa! referred to on%# # the na'e of 9a!!.? )ut the Te12s !ti%% !tern%# de'anded of the $ocia%i!t! that the# 0re!erve the nationa% unit#. 7aurN! wa! no 'ore. I vi!ited the Ca%< du Croissant where he wa! ki%%edD I wanted to find a trace of hi' there. Po%itica%%#3 I had een far re'oved fro' hi'. )ut one cou%d not he%0 fee%ing the 0u%% of hi! 0owerfu% 0er!ona%it#. 7aurN!> 'ind3 which wa! a co'0o!ite of nationa% tradition!3 of the 'eta0h#!ic! of 'ora% 0rinci0%e!3 of %ove for the o00re!!ed3 and of 0oetic i'agination3 !howed the 'ark of the ari!tocrat a! dear%# a! )e e%>! revea%ed the great !i'0%icit# of the 0%e eian. +he# were oth3 however3 head and !hou%der! a ove the %egac# which the# %eft. I had heard 7aurN! at 0o0u%ar 'eeting! in Pari!3 at internationa% congre!!e!3 and on co''ittee!3 and on each occa!ion it wa! a! if I heard hi' for the fir!t ti'e. Ae did not fa%% into routineD funda'enta%%# he never re0eated hi'!e%f3 ut wa! a%wa#! finding hi'!e%f again3 and 'o i%i-ing the %atent re!ource! of hi! !0irit. 5ith a 'ight# force a! e%e'enta% a! a waterfa%%3 he co' ined great gent%ene!!3 which !hone in hi! face %ike a ref%ection of a higher !0iritua% cu%ture. Ae wou%d !end rock! tu' %ing down3 he wou%d thunder and ring the earthCuake3 ut hi'!e%f he never deafened. Ae !tood a%wa#! on guard3 watched intent%# for ever# o @ection3 Cuick to 0ick it u0 and 0arr# it. $o'eti'e! he !we0t a%% re!i!tance efore hi' a! re%ent%e!!%# a! a hurricane3 !o'eti'e! a! generou!%# and gent%# a! a tutor or e%der rother. 7aurN! and )e e% were at o00o!ite 0o%e!3 and #et at the !a'e ti'e the# were the twin 0eak! of the $econd Internationa%. )oth were inten!e%# nationa%3 7aurN! with hi! fier# =atin rhetoric3 and )e e% with hi! touch of Prote!tant dr#ne!!. I %oved the' oth3 ut with a difference. )e e% e/hau!ted hi'!e%f 0h#!ica%%#3 wherea! 7aurN! fe%% in hi! 0ri'e. )ut oth of the' died in ti'e. +heir death! 'arked the %ine where the 0rogre!!ive hi!torica% 'i!!ion of the $econd Internationa% ended. +he French $ocia%i!t 0art# wa! in a !tate of co'0%ete de'ora%i-ation. +here wa! no one to take the 0%ace 7aurN! had %eft. (ai%%ant3 the o%d 9anti<'i%itari!t3? wa! 0utting out dai%# artic%e! in a !0irit of inten!e!t chauvini!'. I once 'et the o%d 'an in the *o''ittee of 1ction3 which wa! 'ade u0 of de%egate! of the 0art# and the trade<union!. (ai%%ant %ooked %ike a !hadow of hi'!e%f B a !hadow of )%anCui!'3 with the tradition! of sansculotte warfare3 in an e0och of ,a#'ond PoincarN. Pre<war France3 with her arre!ted growth in 0o0u%ation3 her con!ervative econo'ic %ife and thought3 !ee'ed to (ai%%ant the on%# countr# of 0rogre!! or 'ove'ent3 the cho!en3 %i erating

nation who!e contact a%one awaken! other! to !0iritua% %ife. Ai! !ocia%i!' wa! chauvini!tic3 @u!t a! hi! chauvini!' wa! 'e!!ianic. 7u%e! 4ue!de3 the %eader of the "ar/i!t wing3 who had e/hau!ted hi'!e%f in a %ong and tr#ing !trugg%e again!t the %etiches of de'ocrac#3 0roved to e ca0a %e on%# of %a#ing down hi! untarni!hed 'ora% authorit# on the 9a%tar? of nationa% defen!e. Ever#thing wa! to0!#<turv#. "arce% $e' at3 the author of the ook3 Make a 5in#- or Make Pea+e3 !econded 4ue!de in the 'ini!tr# of )riand. Pierre ,enaude% found hi'!e%f for a ti'e the 9%eader? of the $ocia%i!t 0art# B after a%%3 !o'e od# had to occu0# the 0%ace %eft vacant # 7aurN!. ,enaude% !trained hi'!e%f to the ut'o!t to i'itate the ge!ture! and thundering voice of the 'urdered %eader. )ehind hi' trai%ed =onguet3 with a certain diffidence which he 0a!!ed off for e/tre'e radica%i!'. Ai! wa#! were a con!tant re'inder that "ar/ wa! not re!0on!i %e for hi! grand!on!. +he officia% !#ndica%i!'3 re0re!ented # the 0re!ident of the *onfNdNration 4NnNra%e3 7ouhau/3 faded awa# in twent#<four hour!. Ae 9denied? the !tate in 0eace<ti'e3 on%# to knee% efore it in ti'e of war. +hat revo%utionar# uffoon3 AervN3 the e/tre'e anti<'i%itari!t of the da# efore3 turned hi' !e%f in!ide out3 ut re'ained3 a! an e/tre'e chauvini!t3 the identica%3 !e%f< !ati!fied uffoon. 1! if to 'ake hi! 'ocker# of hi! own idea! of #e!terda# dou %# 0ainfu%3 hi! 0a0er continued to ca%% it!e%f La 7"erre )o+iale. +aken a%% in a%%3 it !ee'ed %ike 'aking a 'a!Cuerade of 'ourning3 a carniva% of death. One cou%d not he%0 !a#ing to one!e%f& 9No3 we are 'ade of !terner !tuffD event! did not catch u! unaware!D we fore!aw !o'ething of thi!3 and we fore!ee 'uch now3 and we are 0re0ared for 'uch of what %ie! ahead of u!.? Aow often we c%enched our fi!t! when the ,enaude%!3 the AervN!3 and their %ike tried to fraterni-e3 fro' a di!tance3 with Kar% =ie knechtJ +here were e%e'ent! of o00o!ition !cattered a out3 in the 0art# and in the !#ndicate!3 ut the# !howed few !ign! of %ife. +he out!tanding figure a'ong the ,u!!ian N'igrN! in Pari! without a dou t wa! "artov3 the %eader of the "en!hevik!3 and one of the 'o!t ta%ented 'en I have ever co'e acro!!. +he 'an>! 'i!fortune wa! that fate 'ade hi' a 0o%itician in a ti'e of revo%ution without endowing hi' with the nece!!ar# re!ource! of wi%%<0ower. +he %ack of a%ance in hi! !0iritua% hou!eho%d wa! tragica%%# revea%ed whenever great event! took 0%ace. I watched hi' through three hi!torica% catac%#!'!& 19253 191T3 and 191;. "artov>! fir!t reaction to event! wa! near%# a%wa#! revo%utionar#3 ut efore he cou%d 0ut hi! idea! on 0a0er3 hi! 'ind wou%d e e!ieged # dou t! fro' a%% !ide!. Ai! rich3 0%iant3 and 'u%tifor' inte%%igence %acked the !u00ort of wi%%. In hi! %etter! to 1/e%rod in 1925 he co'0%ained ruefu%%# that he cou%d not gather hi! thought! together. 1nd he never rea%%# did3 u0 to the ver# da# when the reactionarie! a!!u'ed 0ower. 1t the eginning of the war3 he again co'0%ained to 1/e%rod that event! had driven hi' to the ver# verge of in!anit#. Fina%%#3 in 191;3 he 'ade a he!itant !te0 toward the %eft and then3 within hi! own faction3 #ie%ded the %eader!hi0 to +-erete%i and 8an3 'en not even knee<high to hi' in inte%%ect B in 8an>! ca!e3 not in an# re!0ect. On Octo er 1T3 191T3 "artov wrote to 1/e%rod& 9"ore readi%# than with P%ekhanov3 we cou%d 0ro a %# co'e to an under!tanding with =enin who3 it !ee'!3 i! 0re0aring to a00ear in the ro%e of a fighter again!t o00ortuni!' in the Internationa%.? )ut thi! 'ood did not %a!t %ong with "artov. 5hen I arrived in Pari!3 I found hi' a%read# fading. Fro' the ver# fir!t3 our co%%a oration in the 'ashe )lo o deve%o0ed into nothing 'ore nor %e!! than a itter !trugg%e3

which ended with "artov>! re!igning fro' the editoria% oard and fina%%# fro' the contri uting !taff. $oon after I arrived in Pari!3 "artov and I !ought out "onatte3 one of the editor! of the !#ndica%i!t @ourna%3 La Vie &" riAre. 1 for'er teacher3 %ater a 0roofreader3 "onatte in a00earance wa! a t#0ica% Pari! worker3 a 'an of rain! a! we%% a! character3 and he never for a 'o'ent inc%ined toward reconci%iation with 'i%itari!' or the ourgeoi! !tate. )ut how wa! one to find a wa# outE 5e differed. "onatte 9denied? the !tate and 0o%itica% !trugg%e3 ut the !tate ignored hi! denia%3 and 'ade hi' don the red trou!er! after he had co'e out with an o0en 0rote!t again!t !#ndica%i!t chauvini!'. +hrough "onatte3 I ca'e into c%o!e touch with the @ourna%i!t ,o!'er3 who a%!o e%onged the anarchi!t<!#ndica%i!t !choo%3 ut3 a! event! 0roved3 even then !tood c%o!er to "ar/i!' funda'enta%%# than to the 4ue!di!t!. $ince tho!e da#! I have een ound to ,o!'er # tie! of friend!hi0 which have !tood the te!t of war3 of revo%ution3 of $oviet 0ower3 and of the de'o%ition of the o00o!ition. 1 out thi! ti'e I ca'e to know !evera% active worker! in the French %a or 'ove'ent who' I had not known efore. +he# inc%uded the !ecretar# of the union of 'eta%<worker!3 "errhei'3 a cautiou!3 !%#%# ingratiating3 and ca%cu%ating 'an3 who!e end wa! in ever# re!0ect unha00#D the @ourna%i!t 4ui% eau/3 %ater conde'ned to death in contu'ac# for a trea!on he had not co''ittedD the !ecretar# of the coo0er!> !#ndicate3 9Pa0a? )ourderonD the teacher =oriot3 who wa! tr#ing to find the wa# to the road of revo%utionar# !ocia%i!'D and 'an# other!. 5e 'et ever# week on the Suai de 7e''a0e!3 and !o'eti'e! in greater nu' er! on the 4range<au/<)e%%e!3 e/changed 9in!ide? new! of the war and the di0%o'atic going!<on3 critici!ed officia% !ocia%i!'3 !ei-ed u0on !ign! of a !ocia%i!t reawakening3 encouraged the fa%terer!3 and 'a00ed out the future. On 1ugu!t T3 19153 I wrote in the 'ashe )lo o& 91nd in !0ite of ever#thing3 we 'eet the %ood# anniver!ar# without 'enta% di!tre!! or 0o%itica% !ce0tici!'. In the 'id!t of the greate!t cata!tro0he we revo%utionar# internationa%i!t! have he%d to our !tandard! of ana%#!i!3 critici!'3 and forethought. 5e have re fu!ed to view thing! through the Pnationa%> !0ectac%e! that the genera% !taff! have een offering u!3 not 'ere%# chea0%# ut even with a onu! attached. 5e have continued to !ee thing! a! the# are3 to ca%% the' # their rea% na'e!3 and to fore!ee their %ogica% con!eCuence!.? 1nd now3 thirteen #ear! %ater3 I can on%# re0eat tho!e word!. +hat fee%ing of eing !u0erior to the officia% 0o%itica% thought3 inc%uding 0atriotic !ocia%i!' a fee%ing that never %eft u! wa! not the fruit of un@u!tified 0re!u'0tion. +here wa! nothing 0er!ona% in itD it wa! the natura% re!u%t of our theoretica% 0o!ition3 for we were !tanding on a higher 0eak. Our critica% view<0oint ena %ed u!3 fir!t of a%%3 to !ee the war in c%earer 0er!0ective. Each !ide3 a! ever# od# know!3 wa! counting on an ear%# victor#. One cou%d Cuote innu'era %e evidence! of !uch o0ti'i!tic %ightne!! of @udg'ent. 9"# French co%%eague3? )uchanan re%ate! in hi! 'e'oir!3 9wa! at one 'o'ent !o o0ti'i!tic that he even et 'e Y5 that the war wou%d e over # *hri!t'a!.? In hi! own heart3 )uchanan hi'!e%f did not 0o!t0one the end of the war an# %ater than Ea!ter. In o00o!ition to thi! view3 we reiterated da# in and da# out in our 0a0er3 fro' the autu'n of 191T on3 that the war3 regard%e!! of a%% the officia% 0ro0hecie!3 wou%d e ho0e%e!!%# 0rotracted and that a%% Euro0e wou%d e'erge fro' it utter%# roken. +i'e after ti'e we !aid in the 'ashe )lo o that even in ca!e of victor# # the 1%%ie!3 France wou%d find her!e%f3 when the !'oke and fu'e! had c%eared awa#3 on%# a %arger )e%giu' in the internationa% arena. 5e definite%# fore!aw the co'ing wor%d<

dictator!hi0 of the Hnited $tate!. 9I'0eria%i!'3? we wrote for the hundredth ti'e on $e0te' er 53 191Q3 9 # virtue of thi! war3 ha! 0%aced it! !take! on the !trongD the# wi%% own the wor%d.? =ong efore thi!3 '# fa'i%# had 'oved fro' $Wvre! to Pari!3 to the %itt%e rue Oudr#. Pari! wa! growing 'ore and 'ore de!erted. One # one3 the !treet c%ock! !to00ed. +he =ion de )e%fort3 for !o'e rea!on3 had dirt# !traw !ticking out of it! 'outh. +he war went on digging farther and farther into the ground. =et u! get out of the trenche!3 out of thi! !tagnation3 thi! i''o i%it#J that wa! the cr# of 0atrioti!'. "ove'entJ "ove'entJ 1nd out of thi!3 there grew the terri %e 'adne!! of the )att%e of (erdun. In tho!e da#!3 writing in !uch a wa# a! to e%ude the %ightning of the 'i%itar# cen!or!3 I !aid in the 'ashe )lo o& 9Aowever great the 'i%itar# !ignificance of the )att%e of (erdun 'a# e3 the 0o%itica% !ignificance i! infinite%# greater. In )er%in and other 0%ace! Lsic@M the# have een wanting P'ove'ent> and the# wi%% have it. AarkJ under (erdun there i! eing forged our to'orrow.? In the !u''er of 1915 there arrived in Pari! the Ita%ian de0ut# "orgari3 the !ecretar# of the $ocia%i!t faction of the ,o'e 0ar%ia'ent3 and a naive ec%ectic3 who had co'e to !ecure the 0artici0ation of French and Eng%i!h !ocia%i!t! in an internationa% conference. On the terrasse of a cafN on one of the 4rand! )ou%evard!3 we he%d a 'eeting attended # a few !ocia%i!t de0utie! who for !o'e rea!on thought the'!e%ve! 9%eft!3? and "orgari. 1! %ong a! the conver!ation he%d to 0acifi!t ta%k3 and to re0eating genera%itie! a out the nece!!it# of re!toring internationa% connection!3 ever#thing went !'ooth%#. )ut when "orgari !0oke in a tragic whi!0er of the nece!!it# of getting fa%!e 0a!!0ort! for the tri0 to $wit-er%and he wa! o viou!%# fa!cinated # the 9carbonari? a!0ect of the affair the de0utie! 'ade %ong face!3 and one of the' I don>t re'e' er which hurried%# ca%%ed for the waiter and 0aid for a%% the coffee we had had. +he gho!t of "o%iWre !ta%ked acro!! the terrasse3 and3 I think3 the gho!t of ,a e%ai! too. +hat wa! the end of the 'eeting. 1! we wa%ked ack with "artov3 we %aughed a %ot3 gai%#3 ut not without a certain anger. "onatte and ,o!'er had a%read# een ca%%ed u0 for the ar'# and cou%d not go to $wit-er%and. I went to the conference with "errhei' and )ourderon3 oth ver# 'oderate 0acifi!t!. 5e did not need the fa%!e 0a!!0ort!3 after a%%3 ecau!e the govern'ent3 which had not co'0%ete%# !hed it! 0re<war cu!to'!3 i!!ued %ega% one!. +he organi-ation of the conference wa! in the hand! of the )erne !ocia%i!t %eader3 4ri''3 who wa! then tr#ing hi! ut'o!t to rai!e hi'!e%f a ove the 0hi%i!tine %eve% of hi! 0art#3 which wa! a%!o hi! own inherent %eve%. Ae had arranged to ho%d the 'eeting in a %itt%e vi%%age ca%%ed 6i''erwa%d3 high in the 'ountain! and a out ten ki%o'etre! di!tant fro' )erne. +he de%egate!3 fi%%ing four !tage<coache!3 !et off for the 'ountain!. +he 0a!!er!< # %ooked on curiou!%# at the !trange 0roce!!ion. +he de%egate! the'!e%ve! @oked a out the fact that ha%f a centur# after the founding of the fir!t Internationa%3 it wa! !ti%% 0o!!i %e to !eat a%% the internationa%i!t! in four coache!. )ut the# were not !ce0tica%. +he thread of hi!tor# often reak! then a new knot 'u!t e tied. 1nd that i! what we were doing in 6i''erwa%d. +he da#! of the conference3 $e0te' er 5 to G3 were !tor'# one!. +he revo%utionar# wing3 %ed # =enin3 and the 0acifi!t wing3 which co'0ri!ed the 'a@orit# of the de%egate!3 agreed with difficu%t# on a co''on 'anife!to of which I had 0re0ared the draft. +he 'anife!to wa! far fro' !a#ing a%% that it !hou%d have !aid3 ut3 even !o3 it wa! a %ong !te0 forward. =enin wa! on the e/tre'e %eft at the conference. In 'an# Cue!tion! he wa! in a 'inorit# of one3 even within the

6i''erwa%d %eft wing3 to which I did not for'a%%# e%ong3 a%though I wa! c%o!e to it on a%%< i'0ortant Cue!tion!. In 6i''erwa%d3 =enin wa! tightening u0 the !0ring of the future internationa% action. In a $wi!! 'ountain vi%%age3 he wa! %a#ing the corner<!tone of the revo%utionar# Internationa%. +he French de%egate! noted in their re0ort the va%ue of the 'ashe )lo o in e!ta %i!hing a contact of idea! with the internationa% 'ove'ent in other countrie!. ,akov!k# 0ointed out that the 'ashe )lo o had 0%a#ed an i'0ortant 0art in !etting forth the deve%o0'ent of the internationa% 0o!ition of the )a%kan $ocia% 8e'ocratic 0artie!. +he Ita%ian 0art# wa! acCuainted with the 'ashe )lo o3 thank! to the 'an# tran!%ation! # )a%a anova. +he 4er'an 0re!!3 inc%uding the govern'ent 0a0er!3 Cuoted the 'ashe )lo o oftene!t of a%%D @u!t a! ,enaude% tried to %ean on =ie knecht3 !o $cheide'ann wa! not aver!e to %i!ting u! a! hi! a%%ie!. =ie knecht hi'!e%f wa! not in 6i''erwa%dD he had een i'0ri!oned in the Aohen-o%%ern ar'# efore he eca'e a ca0tive in 0ri!on. =ie knecht !ent a %etter to the conference which 0roc%ai'ed hi! a ru0t a out<face fro' 0acifi!' to revo%ution. Ai! na'e wa! 'entioned on 'an# occa!ion! at the conference. It wa! a%read# a watchword in the !trugg%e that wa! rending wor%d< !ocia%i!'. +he conference 0ut a !trict an on a%% re0ort! of it! 0roceeding! written fro' 6i''erwa%d3 !o that new! cou%d not reach the 0re!! 0re'ature%# and create difficu%tie! for the returning de%egate! when the# were cro!!ing the frontier. 1 few da#! %ater3 however3 the hitherto unknown na'e of 6i''erwa%d wa! echoed through out the wor%d. +hi! had a !taggering effect on the hote% 0ro0rietor the va%iant $wi!! to%d 4ri'' that he %ooked for a great increa!e in the va%ue of hi! 0ro0ert# and according%# wa! read# to !u !cri e a certain !u' to the fund! of the +hird Internationa%. I !u!0ect3 however3 that he !oon changed hi! 'ind. +he conference at 6i''erwa%d gave to the deve%o0'ent of the anti<war 'ove'ent in 'an# countrie! a 0owerfu% i'0etu!. In 4er'an#3 the $0artaci!t! e/0anded their activitie!. In France a 9*o''ittee for the ,e!toration of Internationa% *onnection!? wa! e!ta %i!hed. +he %a or !ection of the ,u!!ian co%on# in Pari! tightened it! rank! a out the 'ashe )lo o3 giving it the !u00ort needed to kee0 it af%oat through con!tant financia% and other difficu%tie!. "artov3 who had taken an active 0art in the work of the 'ashe )lo o in the fir!t 0eriod3 now drew awa# fro' it. +he e!!entia%%# uni'0ortant difference! that !ti%% !e0arated 'e fro' =enin at 6i''erwa%d dwind%ed into nothing during the ne/t few 'onth!. )ut3 in the 'eanti'e3 c%oud! were gathering overhead3 and during 191Q the# grew ver# dark. +he reactionar# La Li,ertA wa! 0u %i!hing3 a! adverti!e'ent!3 anon#'ou! co''unication! accu!ing u! of eing 4er'ano0hi%e!. 5e were con!tant%# receiving anon#'ou! %etter! containing threat!. )oth the accu!ation! and the threat! c%ear%# had their !ource in the ,u!!ian e' a!!#. $u!0iciou!<%ooking 0er!on! were a%wa#! 0row%ing a out our 0rinting<work!. AervN wa! threatening u! with the ar' of the 0o%ice. Profe!!or 8urckhei'3 who wa! chair'an of the govern'ent co''ittee on ,u!!ian e/i%e!3 wa! heard to !a# that there wa! ta%k in govern'ent circ%e! of c%o!ing down the 'ashe )lo o and e/0e%%ing the editor! fro' the countr#. +he action wa! eing de%a#ed3 however. +he# had nothing to a!e it on3 ecau!e I had not infringed u0on

the %aw3 not even the cen!or>! infraction! of the %aw. )ut there had to e a rea!ona %e e/cu!e3 and !o in the end it wa! found3 or3 to e 'ore e/act3 'anufactured.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <<

M4 (<P6L)0&' F!&M F!A'%(

*ertain French new!0a0er! recent%# re0orted3 when I wa! a%read# in *on!tantino0%e3 that the order for '# e/0u%!ion fro' France i! !ti%% in force to<da#3 after thirteen #ear!. If that e true3 it i! added evidence that not a%% va%ue! were de!tro#ed in the 'o!t terri %e of wor%d cata!tro0he!. 8uring tho!e #ear!3 who%e generation! have een wi0ed out # !he%%!3 entire citie! have een ra-edD i'0eria% and ro#a% crown! have een !trewn a out the wa!te %and! of Euro0eD the oundarie! of !tate! have changedD the frontier! of France3 for idden to 'e3 have 'oved. 1nd #et3 in the 'id!t of thi! tre'endou! catac%#!'3 the order !igned # "a%v# in the ear%# autu'n of 191Q ha! ha00i%# een 0re!erved. 5hat of the fact that "a%v# hi'!e%f ha! !ince 'anaged to e e/i%ed and to co'e ackE In hi!tor#3 the work of a 'an>! hand! ha! often 0roved 'ore for'ida %e than it! creator. +rue3 a !trict @uri!t 'ight o @ect that he fai%! to !ee wh# there need e continuit# in the %ife of the order. +hu!3 in 191G3 the French 'i%itar# 'i!!ion in "o!cow 0%aced it! acting officer! at '# di!0o!a%. +hi! cou%d hard%# have een done for an 9unde!ira %e? a%ien de0rived of ad'i!!ion to France. 1gain3 on Octo er 123 19II3 ". Aerriot 0aid 'e a vi!it in "o!cow3 not at a%% to re'ind 'e of the order for '# e/0u%!ion fro' France. On the contrar#3 it wa! I who reca%%ed it to hi'3 when ". Aerriot courteou!%# inCuired when I 0%anned to vi!it Pari!. )ut '# re'inder wa! in the nature of a @e!t. 5e oth %aughed3 for different rea!on!3 it i! true3 ut we %aughed together a%% the !a'e. +rue3 too3 that in 19I5 the a' a!!ador of France3 ". Aer ette3 on eha%f of the di0%o'at! 0re!ent at the o0ening of the $hatura 0ower !tation3 re0%ied to '# !0eech with a 'o!t a'ia %e greeting3 in which even the 'o!t ca0tiou! ear cou%d not have detected the !%ighte!t echo of ". "a%v#>! order. )ut what of thatE +here i! !ignificance in the fact that one of the two 0o%ice in!0ector! who were conducting 'e fro' Pari! to Irun in the autu'n of 191Q e/0%ained to 'e& 94overn'ent! co'e and go3 ut the 0o%ice re'ain.? For the etter under!tanding of the circu'!tance! of '# e/0u%!ion fro' France3 it i! nece!!ar# for 'e to dwe%% for a 'o'ent on the condition! under which the tin# ,u!!ian 0a0er e/i!ted during '# editor!hi0. It! chief ene'# wa!3 of cour!e3 the ,u!!ian e' a!!#. +here the artic%e! of

the 'ashe )lo o were di%igent%# tran!%ated into French and forwarded with a00ro0riate co''ent! to the Suai d>Or!a# and the "ini!tr# of 5ar. +hereu0on3 te%e0hone ca%%! of a%ar' wou%d go to our 'i%itar# cen!or3 ". *ha!%e!3 who had !0ent !evera% #ear! in ,u!!ia a! a French teacher efore the war. *ha!%e! wa! not di!tingui!hed for an# Cua%it# of re!o%ution. Ae a%wa#! !o%ved hi! he!itation! # cro!!ing out rather than %eaving in. (5hat a 0it# that he did not a00%# thi! ru%e to the unu!ua%%# 0oor iogra0h# of =enin that he wrote !evera% #ear! %aterJ) 1! a ti'orou! cen!or3 *ha!%e! e/tended hi! 0rotection not on%# to the *-ar3 *-arina3 $a-onov3 the 8ardane%%e! drea'! of "i%iukoff3 ut to ,a!0utin a! we%%. It wou%d reCuire no great effort to 0rove that the who%e war again!t the 'ashe )lo o a verita %e war of attrition wa! waged not again!t the 0a0er>! internationa%i!'3 ut again!t it! revo%utionar# !0irit in o00o!ition to *-ari!'. 5e ran into the fir!t acid it of cen!or!hi0 at the ti'e of the ,u!!ian !ucce!!e! in 4a%icia. 1t the %ea!t 'i%itar# !ucce!!3 the *-ar>! e' a!!# wou%d eco'e arrogant to an e/tre'e. +hi! ti'e the cen!or went !o far a! to cro!! out the entire o ituar# notice of *ount 5itte and even the tit%e of the artic%e3 con!i!ting on%# of five %etter!& 5I++E. 1t that ver# ti'e the officia% organ of the $t. Peter! urg Nav# 8e0art'ent wa! 0u %i!hing unco''on%# in!o%ent artic%e! ai'ed at the French re0u %ic3 !neering at the 0ar%ia'ent and it! 9!orr# %itt%e c-ar!3? the de0utie!. 5ith a co0# of the $t. Peter! urg @ourna% in '# hand3 I went to the cen!or>! office to a!k for an e/0%anation. 9I have nothing to do with thi!3? ". *ha!%e! !aid to 'e. 91%% the in!truction! concerning #our 0u %ication co'e fro' the "ini!tr# of Foreign 1ffair!. 5ou%d #ou %ike to !0eak to one of our di0%o'at!E? Aa%f an hour %ater a gra#<haired di0%o'at arrived at the 5ar "ini!tr#. +he conver!ation etween u!3 which I wrote down !oon after it wa! over3 wa! !o'ething %ike thi!& 9*ou%d #ou e/0%ain to 'e wh# an artic%e in our 0a0er dea%ing with a ,u!!ian ureaucrat who wa! in retire'ent and a%!o in di!favor3 and3 'oreover3 a%read# decea!ed3 ha! een cro!!ed outE 1nd what re%ation thi! 'ea!ure ha! to 'i%itar# o0eration!E? 95e%%3 #ou know !uch artic%e! are di!0%ea!ing to the'3? the di0%o'at !aid3 a! he inc%ined hi! head vague%# 0re!u'a %# in the direction of the ,u!!ian e' a!!#. 9)ut it i! 0reci!e%# to di!0%ea!e the' that we write the'.? +he di0%o'at !'i%ed conde!cending%# at thi! an!wer3 a! if it were a char'ing @oke. 95e are at war. 5e de0end on our a%%ie!.? 98o #ou 'ean to !a# that the interna% affair! of France are contro%%ed # the *-ar>! di0%o'ac#E 8idn>t #our ance!tor! 'ake a 'i!take then in cho00ing off =oui! *a0et>! headE? 9Oh3 #ou e/aggerate. 1nd e!ide!3 0%ea!e don>t forgetD we are at war.? Our further conver!ation wa! fruit%e!!. +he di0%o'at e/0%ained to 'e with a !uave !'i%e that !ince !tate!'en are 'orta%3 the %iving one! do not %ike to hear the dead !0oken of di!0araging%#. 1fter the 'eeting3 ever#thing went on a! efore. +he cen!or continued to %ue<0enci%. In!tead of

a new!0a0er3 often a%% that a00eared wa! a !heet of white 0a0er. 5e were never gui%t# of di!regarding ". *ha!%e!> wi%%D he3 in turn3 wa! even %e!! inc%ined to di!regard the wi%% of hi! 'a!ter!. Neverthe%e!!3 in $e0te' er3 191Q3 the 0refecture handed 'e the order for '# e/0u%!ion fro' French territor#. 5hat wa! the rea!on for itE )ut the# to%d 'e nothing. 4radua%%#3 however3 it eca'e a00arent that the cau!e wa! a 'a%iciou! fra'e<u0 organi-ed # the ,u!!ian !ecret 0o%ice in France. 5hen de0ut# 7ean =onguet ca'e to )riand to 0rote!t3 or3 to e 'ore 0reci!e3 to grieve (=onguet>! 0rote!t! a%wa#! !ounded %ike the gent%e!t of tune!) a out '# e/0u%!ion3 the French 0ri'e 'ini!ter an!wered hi'& 98o #ou know that the 'ashe )lo o wa! found on the 0er!on! of the ,u!!ian !o%dier! who 'urdered their co%one% at "ar!ei%%e!E? =onguet had not een e/0ecting thi!. Ae knew of the 96i''erwa%d? 0o%ic# of the 0a0erD he cou%d reconci%e hi'!e%f 'ore or %e!! to that3 ut the 'urder of a co%one% cou%d not ut find hi' at a %o!!. Ae turned to inCuire of '# French friend! there3 and the# in turn a!ked 'e3 ut I knew no 'ore a out the 'urder at "ar!ei%%e! than the# did. *orre!0ondent! of the ,u!!ian %i era% 0re!! who were 0atriotic ene'ie! of the 'ashe )lo o accidenta%%# ca'e into the affair and c%eared u0 the who%e "ar!ei%%e! incident. It ha00ened that when the *-ar>! govern'ent rought troo0! to the !oi% of the re0u %ic troo0! ca%%ed 9!#' o%ica%? ecau!e of their !%i' nu' er! the# a%!o 'o i%i-ed in ha!te the reCui!ite nu' er of !0ie! and agents0pro(ocateurs. 1'ong the!e wa! a certain (ining (I e%ieve that wa! hi! na'e) who arrived fro' =ondon with a %etter of introduction to the ,u!!ian con!u%. +o !tart thing! going3 (ining tried to induce the 'o!t 'oderate of the ,u!!ian corre!0ondent! to take 0art in the 9revo%utionar#? 0ro0aganda a'ong the ,u!!ian !o%dier!. +he# refu!ed. Ae did not dare addre!! hi'!e%f to the editor! of the 'ashe )lo o3 and con!eCuent%# we did not even know of hi'. 1fter hi! fai%ure in Pari!3 (ining went to +ou%on3 where it !ee'! he had !o'e !ucce!! a'ong the ,u!!ian !ai%or!3 who were una %e to !ee through hi'. 9+he !oi% i! ver# favora %e for our work here. $end 'e revo%utionar# ook! and 0a0er!3? he wrote to certain ,u!!ian @ourna%i!t!3 who' he cho!e at rando'D ut he received no an!wer. $eriou! 'utinie! roke out on the ,u!!ian crui!er 's$old3 !tationed at +ou%on3 and were crue%%# !u00re!!ed. (ining>! 0art in the u!ine!! wa! on%# too o viou!3 and he decided that it wa! an o00ortune ti'e to tran!fer hi! activitie! to "ar!ei%%e!. +he !oi% 0roved 9favora %e? there3 too. Not without hi! co<o0eration3 'utinie! roke out a'ong the ,u!!ian !o%dier! and cu%'inated in the !toning to death of the ,u!!ian co%one%3 Krau!e3 in the court#ard of the arrack!. 5hen the !o%dier! concerned in the affair were arre!ted3 co0ie! of the !a'e i!!ue of the 'ashe )lo o were found on the'. +he ,u!!ian corre!0ondent!3 co'ing to "ar!ei%%e! to inve!tigate3 were to%d # the officer! that during the di!tur ance! a certain (ining had di!tri uted the 'ashe )lo o to a%% !o%dier!3 whether the# wanted it or not. 1nd that wa! the on%# rea!on wh# the 0a0er wa! found on the arre!ted !o%dier!3 who had not even had a chance to read it. I''ediate%# after =onguet>! interview with )riand concerning '# e/0u%!ion that i!3 efore (ining>! 0art in the affair had een di!c%o!ed I wrote an o0en %etter to 7u%e! 4ue!de in which I !ugge!ted that the 'ashe )lo o 'ight have een intentiona%%# di!tri uted a'ong the !o%dier! at the right 'o'ent # !o'e agent0pro(ocateur. +hi! !ur'i!e wa! co'0%ete%# confir'ed # itter

o00onent! of the 0a0er3 !ooner than I cou%d have ho0ed for. )ut it did not 'atter. +he *-ar>! di0%o'ac# gave the govern'ent of the re0u %ic to under!tand3 on%# too dear%#3 that if France wanted ,u!!ian !o%dier! the ne!t of ,u!!ian revo%utionarie! 'u!t e de!tro#ed at once. +he o @ect wa! achievedD the French govern'ent3 he!itant unti% then3 c%o!ed down the 'ashe )lo o3 and the 'ini!ter of the interior3 "a%v#3 !igned the order3 0reviou!%# 0re0ared # the 0refect of 0o%ice3 e/0e%%ing 'e fro' France. Now the 'ini!tr# fe%t that it wa! we%% covered. )riand Cuoted the "ar!ei%%e! incident a! the rea!on for '# e/0u%!ion3 not on%# to 7ean =onguet3 ut to a nu' er of other de0utie! a! we%%3 a'ong the' the chair'an of the 0ar%ia'entar# co''ittee3 =e#!gue!. +hi! cou%d not fai% to have it! effect. )ut !ince the 'ashe )lo o wa! a cen!ored 0a0er !o%d o0en%# on the new!!tand!3 and cou%d not ca%% u0on !o%dier! to ki%% their co%one%3 the ca!e re'ained a '#!ter# unti% the fra'e<u0 wa! di!c%o!ed. It eca'e known even in the *ha' er of 8e0utie!. I wa! to%d that Pain%evN3 then the 'ini!ter of education3 when he wa! to%d the 9in!ide? !tor# e/c%ai'ed& 9It>! a !ha'e ... thing! 'u!t not e %eft at that.? )ut there wa! a war on. +he *-ar wa! an a%%#. (ining cou%d not e e/0o!ed. +here wa! nothing to do ut to carr# out "a%v#>! order. +he Pari! 0refecture infor'ed 'e that I wa! eing e/0e%%ed fro' France to an# other countr# I 'ight choo!e. I wa! a%!o in for'ed that Eng%and and Ita%# dec%ined the honor of having 'e a! a gue!t. "# on%# choice wa! to go ack to $wit-er%and. 1%a!J the $wi!! %egation f%at%# refu!ed to i!!ue a vi!a to 'e. I te%egra0hed '# $wi!! friend! and received a rea!!uring an!wer fro' the'& the Cue!tion wou%d e decided favora %#. +he $wi!! %egation3 however3 continued to refu!e 'e a vi!a. I found out %ater that the ,u!!ian e' a!!#3 with the he%0 of the "i%e!3 0ut on the !crew! in )erne when it !ee'ed nece!!ar#3 and the $wi!! authoritie! de%i erate%# de%a#ed the !o%ution of the Cue!tion ho0ing that in the 'eanti'e I wou%d have een e/0e%%ed fro' France. I cou%d get to Ao%%and and $candinavia on%# through Eng%and3 ut the Eng%i!h govern'ent refu!ed 'e the right of 0a!!age. $0ain wa! the on%# countr# %eft. )ut now it wa! '# turn to refu!e to go vo%untari%# to the I erian 0enin!u%a. 1rgu'ent! with the Pari! 0o%ice continued for a out !i/ week!. 8etective! fo%%owed 'e wherever I wentD the# !tood on guard out!ide '# ho'e and the office! of our 0a0er3 never once %etting 'e out of their !ight. Fina%%#3 the Pari! authoritie! decided to take fir' 'ea!ure!. +he 0refect of 0o%ice3 =aurent3 invited 'e to hi! office and to%d 'e that !ince I refu!ed to %eave vo%untari%#3 two 0o%ice in!0ector! in 90%ain c%othe!? however3 he added with the ut'o!t con!ideration wou%d e !ent to conduct 'e to the frontier. +he *-ar>! e' a!!# achieved it! endD I wa! e/0e%%ed fro' France. +he detai%! of thi! account3 which i! a!ed on the entrie! I 'ade at that ti'e3 'a# !how !o'e !%ight inaccuracie!. )ut a%% the 'ain fact! are a !o%ute%# irrefuta %e. )e!ide!3 'o!t of the 0eo0%e who had an#thing to do with the e0i!ode are !ti%% a%iveD 'an# of the' are in France now. +here are docu'ent! a! we%%. It wou%d therefore e Cuite ea!# to e!ta %i!h the fact!. For '# 0art3 I have no dou t that if "a%v#>! order for '# e/0u%!ion were re!urrected fro' the 0o%ice archive! and if the docu'ent were !u @ected to a dact#%o!co0ic e/a'ination3 it wou%d e found to ear !o'ewhere in a corner the finger<0rint! of "on!ieur (ining.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <<0

T3!&673 )PA0'
+wo 0o%ice in!0ector! were waiting for 'e in '# ho'e in the %itt%e rue Oudr#. One of the' wa! !hort and %ooked rather e%der%#D the other wa! enor'ou! and a%d3 a out fort#<five and a! !warth# a! 0itch. +he 0%ain c%othe! the# wore hung awkward%# on the'3 and when the# !0oke the# rai!ed their hand! a! if in !a%ute. 5hi%e I wa! !a#ing good< # to '# friend! and the fa'i%#3 the 0o%ice3 with e/ce!!ive 0o%itene!!3 hid ehind the door!. +he o%der 'an3 when he %eft3 ke0t taking off hi! hat and !a#ing3 D-8cuse7, !ada#e@E One of the two detective! who had een 0ur!uing 'e !o tire%e!!%# and vehe'ent%# during the 0a!t two 'onth! wa! waiting out!ide the door. In a friend%# wa#3 a! if there were nothing at a%% etween u!3 he arranged the rug and !hut the door of the car. Ae re'inded 'e of a hunter who wa! handing hi! ga'e over to the u#er. 5e !et off. 1 fa!t train. 1 third<c%a!! co'0art'ent. +he o%der in!0ector 0roved to e a geogra0herD +o'!k3 Ka!an3 the Ni@ni<Novgorod fair he knew the' a%%. Ae !0oke $0ani!h and knew the countr#. +he other3 ta%% and dark3 wa! !i%ent for a %ong ti'e3 and !at !u%%en%# a %itt%e di!tance awa#. )ut 0re!ent%# he un urdened hi'!e%f. 9+he =atin race i! 'arking ti'eD the re!t are %eaving it ehind3? he re'arked !udden%#3 a! he cut a 0iece of fat 0ork with a knife he%d in a hair# hand adorned with heav# ring!. 95hat have #ou in %iteratureE 8ecadence in ever#thing. +he !a'e in 0hi%o!o0h#. +here ha! een no 'ove'ent !ince 8e!carte! and Pa!ca% ... +he =atin race i! 'arking ti'e ...? I waited3 in a!toni!h'ent3 to !ee what wou%d co'e ne/t. )ut he %a0!ed into !i%ence and egan to chew the fat and a un. 9You had +o%!to#3 not !o %ong ago3 ut we under!tand I !en etter than +o%!to#.? 1nd he wa! !i%ent again. +he o%d 'an3 0iCued # thi! !udden !how of erudition3 egan to e/0%ain to 'e the i'0ortance of the +ran!<$i erian rai%wa#. +hen3 at once !u00orting and !oftening the 0e!!i'i!tic conc%u!ion! of hi! co%%eague3 he added& 9Ye!3 we !uffer fro' %ack of initiative. Ever# od# want! to e a govern'ent officia%. It i! !ad3 ut one cannot den# it.? I %i!tened to the' oth hu' %# and not without intere!t. 9$hadowing a 0er!onE +o<da# it i! i'0o!!i %e. $hadowing i! efficient when it i!n>t noticed3 i!n>t itE I 'u!t !a# candid%# the 'etro ki%%! !hadowing. Peo0%e eing watched !hou%d e ordered never to u!e the 'etro3 on%# then wou%d !hadowing e 0o!!i %e.? 1nd the dark one %aughed gri'%#.

+he o%der 'an added3 to !often the effect3 95e often watch3 a%a!3 without even knowing wh#.? 95e 0o%ice'en are !ce0tic!3? the dark one re!u'ed a ru0t%#3 changing the !u @ect. 9You have #our idea!. )ut we 0re!erve the e/i!ting order. +ake the 4reat ,evo%ution. 5hat a 'ove'ent of idea!J Fourteen #ear! after the revo%ution3 the 0eo0%e were 'ore 'i!era %e than ever efore. ,ead +aine ... 5e 0o%ice'en are con!ervative! fro' the ver# nature of our dutie!. $ce0tici!' i! the on%# 0hi%o!o0h# 0o!!i %e for our 0rofe!!ion. 1fter a%%3 no one choo!e! hi! own 0ath. +here i! no freedo' of wi%%. Ever#thing i! 0redeter'ined # the cour!e of thing!.? Ae egan to drink wine with the air of a !toic3 !traight fro' the ott%e. +hen3 corking the ott%e& 9,enan !aid that new idea! a%wa#! co'e too ear%#. 1nd that i! true.? 5ith thi!3 he ca!t a !u!0iciou! g%ance at '# hand3 which I had 0%aced ca!ua%%# on the door<kno . +o rea!!ure hi'3 I hid '# hand in '# 0ocket. )# that ti'e the o%d 'an wa! again having hi! revenge& he wa! ta%king a out the )a!Cue!3 their %anguage3 wo'en3 head<dre!!3 and !o forth. 5e were a00roaching the !tation of Aenda#e. 9+hi! i! where 8Nrou%Wde3 our nationa% ro'antic3 %ived. Ae needed on%# to !ee the 'ountain! of France. 1 8on Sui/ote in hi! $0ani!h a ode.? +he dark fe%%ow !'i%ed with a !ort of !o%id conde!cen!ion. 9If #ou 0%ea!e3 'on!ieur3 fo%%ow 'e to the !tation co''i!!ariat.? 1t Irun3 a French gendar'e addre!!ed a Cue!tion to 'e3 ut '# guardian 'ade a 'a!onic !ign to hi' and %ed 'e hurried%# through the !tation corridor!. 9Cest %ait a(ec discr<tion, nest0ce pasF? the dark one a!ked 'e. 9You can take a tro%%e#<car fro' Irun to $an $e a!tian. You 'u!t tr# and %ook %ike a touri!t !o a! not to arou!e the !u!0icion! of the $0ani!h 0o%ice3 who are ver# di!tru!tfu%. 1nd fro' now on3 I don>t know #ou3 do IE? 5e 0arted co%d%#. Fro' $an $e a!tian3 where I wa! de%ighted # the !ea and a00a%%ed # the 0rice!3 I went to "adrid3 and found '#!e%f in a cit# in which I knew no one3 not a !ing%e !ou%3 and no one knew 'e. 1nd !ince I did not !0eak $0ani!h3 I cou%d not have een %one%ier even in the $ahara or in the Peter Pau% fortre!!J +here re'ained on%# the %anguage of art. +he two #ear! of war had 'ade one forget that !uch a thing a! art !ti%% e/i!ted. 5ith the eagerne!! of a !tarved 'an3 I viewed the 0rice%e!! trea!ure! of the "u!eu' of "adrid and fe%t again the 9eterna%? e%e'ent in thi! art. +he ,e' randt!3 the ,i era!. +he 0ainting! of )o!ch were work! of geniu! in their naZve @o# of %ife. +he o%d caretaker gave 'e a %en! !o that I 'ight !ee the tin# figure! of the 0ea!ant!3 %itt%e donke#! and dog! in the 0icture! of "ie%. Aere there wa! no fee%ing of warD ever#thing wa! !ecure%# in it! 0%ace. +he co%or! had their own %ife3 uncontro%%ed. +hi! i! what I wrote in '# note ook in the 'u!eu'& 9)etween u! and the!e o%d arti!t! without in the %ea!t o !curing the' or %e!!ening their i'0ortance there grew u0 efore the war a new art3 'ore inti'ate3 'ore individua%i!tic3 one with greater nuance!3 at once 'ore !u @ective and 'ore inten!e. +he war3 # it! 'a!! 0a!!ion! and !uffering3 wi%% 0ro a %# wa!h awa# thi! 'ood and thi! 'anner for a %ong ti'e ut that can never 'ean a !i'0%e return to the o%d for'3 however

eautifu% to the anato'ic and otanic 0erfection3 to the ,u en! thigh! (though thigh! are a0t to 0%a# a great ro%e in the new 0o!t<war art3 which wi%% e !o eager for %ife). It i! difficu%t to 0ro0he!#3 ut out of the un0recedented e/0erience! fi%%ing the %ive! of a%'o!t a%% civi%i-ed hu'an!3 !ure%# a new art 'u!t e orn.? In '# hote%3 I read the $0ani!h 0a0er! with the aid of a dictionar#3 and waited for an an!wer to the %etter! I had !ent to $wit-er%and and Ita%#. I wa! !ti%% ho0ing to get there. On the fourth da# of '# !ta# in "adrid3 I received a %etter fro' Pari! giving 'e the addre!! of a French $ocia%i!t3 4a ier. Ae wa! the director of an in!urance co'0an#3 ut in !0ite of hi! ourgeoi! !ocia% !tanding3 I found hi' in fir' o00o!ition to the 0atriotic 0o%ic# of hi! 0art#. Fro' 4a ier I %earned that the $0ani!h 0art# wa! co'0%ete%# under the inf%uence of the French 0atriotic !ocia%i!'. +here wa! !eriou! o00o!ition on%# in )arce%ona3 a'ong the !#ndica%i!t!. +he !ecretar# of the $ocia%i!t 0art#3 1ngui%%ano3 who' I intended to vi!it3 wa! !erving a 0ri!on !entence of fifteen da#! for a di!re!0ectfu% reference to !o'e *atho%ic !aint. In #gone da#! 1ngui%%ano wou%d !i'0%# have een urned in an auto da %<. I wa! waiting for an an!wer fro' $wit-er%and3 'eanwhi%e 'e'ori-ing $0ani!h word! and vi!iting the "u!eu'. On Nove' er 93 the 'aid at the !'a%% pension in which 4a ier had 0%aced 'e ca%%ed 'e out into the corridor with a frightened air. +here I found two #oung 'en of un'i!taka %e a00earance who invited 'e3 in not ver# friend%# fa!hion3 to fo%%ow the'. 95here toE? )ut of cour!e3 to the "adrid 0refecture of 0o%ice. Once there3 the# !eated 'e in a corner. 91' I under arre!t3 thenE? I a!ked. 9Si, para una hora, dos horas (for an hour or two).? 5ithout changing '# 0o!ition3 I !at there in the 0refecture for !even hour!. 1t nine o>c%ock in the evening3 I wa! taken u0!tair!. I found '#!e%f efore a fair%# we%% thronged O%#'0u!. 95hat i! it that #ou have arre!ted 'e for3 0reci!e%#E? +hi! !i'0%e Cue!tion non0%u!!ed the O%#'0ian!. +he# offered variou! h#0othe!e! in turn. One of the' referred to the 0a!!0ort difficu%tie! that the ,u!!ian govern'ent rai!ed for foreigner! going to ,u!!ia. 9If #ou cou%d on%# know the a'ount of 'one# we !0end in 0ro!ecuting our anarchi!t!3? !aid another3 a00ea%ing to '# !#'0ath#. 9)ut !ure%# I cannot e he%d an!wera %e at the !a'e ti'e for oth the ,u!!ian 0o%ice and the $0ani!h anarchi!t!E? 9Of cour!e3 of cour!e3 that i! on%# to give #ou an e/a'0%e.? 95hat are #our idea!E? the chief a!ked 'e at %a!t3 after de%i erating for a whi%e. I !tated '# view! in a! 0o0u%ar %anguage a! I cou%d.

9+here3 #ou !eeJ? the# !aid. In the end3 the chief infor'ed 'e through the inter0reter that I wa! invited to %eave $0ain at once3 and unti% I %eft '# freedo' wou%d e !u @ected to 9certain %i'itation!.? 9Your idea! are too advanced for $0ain3? he to%d 'e candid%#3 !ti%% through the inter0reter. 1t 'idnight a 0o%ice agent took 'e to the 0ri!on in a ca . +here wa! the inevita %e e/a'ination of '# e%onging! in the centre of the 0ri!on 9!tar3? at the inter!ection of five wing!3 each of the' four !torie! high. +he !tairca!e! were of iron3 and were !u!0ended. +he 0ecu%iar 0ri!on night< !i%ence3 !aturated with heav# va0or! and night'ari!hne!!. Pa%e e%ectric %ight! in the corridor!. Ever#thing fa'i%iar3 ever#thing the !a'e. +he ru' %ing of the iron< ound door when it o0enedD a %arge roo'3 !e'i<darkne!!3 heav# 0ri!on odor!3 a 'i!era %e and re0u%!ive ed. +hen the ru' %ing of the door a! it wa! %ocked. Aow 'an# i'0ri!on'ent! did thi! 'akeE I o0ened the !'a%% a0erture in the window ehind the grating. 1 draft of coo% air %ew in. 5ithout undre!!ing3 with '# c%othe! a%% uttoned u03 I %a# down on the ed and covered '#!e%f with '# overcoat. On%# then did I egin to rea%i-e the fu%% incongruit# of what had ha00ened. In a 0ri!on in "adridJ I had never drea'ed of !uch a thing. I-vo%!k# had done hi! @o we%%. In "adridJ I %a# on the ed in the "adrid 9'ode%? 0ri!on and %aughed with a%% '# 'ight3 %aughed unti% I fe%% a!%ee0. 5hen I wa! taking '# wa%k3 the convict! e/0%ained to 'e that there were two kind! of ce%%! in the 0ri!on the free ce%%! and tho!e for which one 0aid. 1 ce%% of the fir!t c%a!! co!t one and a ha%f 0e!eta! a da#D one of the !econd c%a!!3 ;5 centi'e!. Ever# 0ri!oner wa! entit%ed to occu0# a 0aid ce%%3 ut he had no right to refu!e a free one. "# ce%% wa! a 0aid one3 of the fir!t c%a!!. I again %aughed hearti%#. )ut after a%%3 it wa! on%# %ogica%. 5h# !hou%d there e eCua%it# in 0ri!on3 in a !ociet# ui%t entire%# on ineCua%it#E I a%!o %earned that the occu0ant! of 0aid ce%%! wa%k out twice a da# for an hour at a ti'e3 wherea! the other! have on%# a ha%f<hour. 1gain3 thi! wa! 0erfect%# right. +he %ung! of a govern'ent thief who 0a#! a franc and a ha%f a da# are entit%ed to a %arger 0ortion of air than the %ung! of a !triker who get! hi! reathing free of charge. On the third da# I wa! ca%%ed u0 for anthro0o'etric 'ea!ure'ent!3 and wa! to%d to 0aint '# finger! with 0rinter>! ink and i'0re!! their 'ark! on card!. I refu!ed. +hen 9force? wa! re!orted to3 ut with a !tudied 0o%itene!!. I %ooked out the window whi%e the guard courteou!%# 0ainted '# hand3 finger after finger3 and 0re!!ed it a out ten ti'e! on variou! card! and !heet!3 fir!t the right hand3 then the %eft. Ne/t I wa! invited to !it down and take off '# oot!. I refu!ed. +he feet 0roved 'ore difficu%t to 'anage3 and the ad'ini!tration 0re!ent%# wa! wa%king a out 'e in confu!ion. In the end3 I wa! une/0ected%# a%%owed to go and ta%k to 4a ier and 1ngui%%ano3 who had co'e to !ee 'e. 1ngui%iano had een re%ea!ed fro' 0ri!on another one the da# efore. +he# to%d 'e that a%% the agencie! to ring a out '# re%ea!e had een !et in 'otion. In the corridor I 'et the 0ri!on cha0%ain3 who e/0re!!ed hi! *atho%ic !#'0athie! with '# 0acifici!' and added con!o%ing%#& 91aciencia, paciencia.? +here wa! nothing e%!e 0o!!i %e for 'e3 an#wa#. On the 'orning of the twe%fth3 the 0o%ice agent infor'ed 'e that I wa! to %eave for *adi- that !a'e evening3 and a!ked if I wanted to 0a# for '# rai%wa# ticket. )ut I had no de!ire to go to *adi- and I fir'%# refu!ed to 0a# for the ticket. It wa! enough that one had to 0a# for acco''odation in the 9'ode%? 0ri!on.

1nd !o3 in the evening3 we %eft "adrid for *adi-. +he trave%%ing co!t! were at the e/0en!e of the $0ani!h king. )ut wh# *adi-E 1gain I %ooked at the 'a0. *adi- i! the farthe!t e/tre'it# of the !outhwe!tern 0enin!u%a of Euro0eD fro' )ere-ov # deer via the Hra%! and $t. Peter! urg3 thence # a circu%ar route to 1u!tria3 fro' 1u!tria through $wit-er%and to France3 fro' France to $0ain3 and fina%%# acro!! the entire I erian 0enin!u%a to *adi-3 the genera% direction eing fro' Northea!t to $outhwe!t. +here the continent end! and the ocean egin!. 1aciencia@ +he 0o%ice agent! who acco'0anied 'e did not 'ake the !%ighte!t atte'0t to inve!t the @ourne# with '#!ter#. On the contrar#3 the# to%d '# !tor# in co'0%ete detai% to ever# one intere!ted3 giving 'e3 at the !a'e ti'e3 the e!t of character!& not a counterfeiter of 'one# ut a ca a%%ero3 unfortunate%# one who he%d un!uita %e view!. Ever# od# con!o%ed 'e with the 0ro!0ect of a ver# fine c%i'ate in *adi-. 9Aow did #ou get to 'eE? I a!ked the agent!. 9(er# ea!i%#. )# te%egra' fro' Pari!.? 7u!t a! I had thought. +he "adrid 0o%ice had received a te%egra' fro' the Pari! 0refecture& 91 dangerou! anarchi!t3 !o<and<!o3 cro!!ed the frontier at $an $e a!tian. Intend! to !ett%e down in "adrid.? $o the "adrid 0o%ice had een waiting for 'e3 had %ooked ever#where for 'e3 and were u0!et ecau!e the# cou%d not find 'e for a who%e week. +he French 0o%ice'en had 0o%ite%# e!corted 'e acro!! the frontierD the ad'irer of "ontaigne and ,enan had even a!ked 'e& 9Cest %ait a(ec discr<tion, nest0ce pasF? and then the !a'e 0o%ice had te%egra0hed to "adrid that a dangerou! 9anarchi!t? had 0a!!ed through Irun to $an $e a!tianJ In a%% thi! the chief of the !o<ca%%ed @uridica% 0o%ice3 )idet<93au8pas3? 0%a#ed an i'0ortant 0art. Ae wa! the heart and !ou% of '# !hadowing and e/0u%!ionD he wa! di!tingui!ha %e fro' hi! co%%eague! on%# # hi! e/ce0tiona% rudene!! and 'a%ice. Ae tried to !0eak to 'e in a tone that even the *-ar>! officer! of the !ecret 0o%ice never a%%owed the'!e%ve! to a!!u'e. "# conver!ation! with hi' a%wa#! ended in e/0%o!ion!. 1! I wa! %eaving hi'3 I wou%d fee% a %ook of hate ehind '# ack. 1t the 0ri!on 'eeting with 4a ier3 I e/0re!!ed '# conviction that '# arre!t had een 0re<arranged # )idet<93au8pas3? and the na'e3 !tarted # '# %uck# !troke3 circu%ated through the $0ani!h 0re!!. =e!! than two #ear! %ater3 the fate! wi%%ed 'e an entire%# une/0ected !ati!faction at ". )idet>! e/0en!e. In the !u''er of 191G3 a te%e0hone ca%% to the 5ar *o''i!!ariat infor'ed 'e that )idet the +hunderer3 )idet wa! under arre!t in one of the $oviet 0ri!on!. I cou%d not e%ieve '# ear!. )ut it !ee'ed that the French govern'ent had 0ut hi' on the !taff of the 'i%itar# 'i!!ion to engage in !0#ing and con!0irac# in the $oviet re0u %ic3 and he had een !o care%e!! a! to get caught. One cou%d hard%# a!k for a greater !ati!faction fro' Ne'e!i!3 e!0ecia%%# if one add! the fact that "a%v#3 the French "ini!ter of the Interior who !igned the order for '# e/0u%!ion3 wa! hi'!e%f !oon after e/0e%%ed fro' France # the *%N'enceau govern'ent on a charge of 0acifi!t intrigue!. 5hat a concurrence of circu'!tance!3 a! if intended for a fi%' 0%otJ

5hen )idet wa! rought to 'e at the *o''i!!ariat3 I cou%d not recogni-e hi' at fir!t. +he +hunderer had eco'e tran!for'ed into an ordinar# 'orta%3 and a !eed# one at that. I %ooked at hi' in a'a-e'ent. 9!ais oui, #onsieur3? he !aid a! he owed hi! head3 9cest #oi.? Ye!3 it wa! )idet. )ut how had it ha00enedE I wa! genuine%# a!toni!hed. )idet !0read out hi! hand! 0hi%o!o0hica%%#3 and with the a!!urance of a 0o%ice !toic3 re'arked3 9Cest la #arche des <(Ane#ents.? E/act%# a 'agnificent for'u%aJ +here f%oated efore '# e#e! the figure of the dark fata%i!t who had conducted 'e to $an $e a!tian& 9+here i! no freedo' of choiceD ever#thing i! 0redeter'ined.? 9)ut3 "on!ieur )idet3 #ou were not ver# 0o%ite to 'e in Pari!.? 91%a!3 I 'u!t ad'it it3 "r. Peo0%e>! *o''i!!ar#3 !orr# a! I a'. I have thought often of it a! I !at in '# ce%%. It doe! a 'an good !o'eti'e!3? he added !ignificant%#3 9to get acCuainted with 0ri!on fro' the in!ide. )ut I !ti%% ho0e that '# Pari! ehaviour wi%% not have an# un0%ea!ant con!eCuence! for 'e.? I rea!!ured hi'. 95hen I return to France3 I wi%% change '# occu0ation.? 95i%% #ou3 "on!ieur )idetE ?n re(ient tou5ours G ses pre#iers a#ours.? (I have de!cri ed thi! !cene to '# friend! !o often that I re'e' er our dia%ogue a! if it took 0%ace #e!terda#.) =ater )idet wa! a%%owed to go ack to France a! one of the e/change 0ri!oner!. I have no infor'ation a! to hi! !u !eCuent fate. )ut we 'u!t go ack fro' the 5ar *o''i!!ariat to *adi-. 1fter con!u%ting the governor3 the *adi- 0refect infor'ed 'e that at eight o>c%ock the fo%%owing 'orning I wou%d e !ent to Aavana3 for which3 # ha00# chance3 a !tea'er wa! !ai%ing that da#. 95hereE? 9+o Aavana.? 9Aa<van<aE? 9Aavana.? 9I won>t go vo%untari%#.? 9+hen we !ha%% e co'0e%%ed to 0%ace #ou in the ho%d of the ve!!e%.? +he !ecretar# of the 4er'an con!u%3 a friend of the 0refect>! who wa! 0re!ent at the conver!ation a! an inter0reter3 advi!ed 'e to 9acce0t rea%itie!? (sich #it den ,ealitHten abru%inden). 1aciencia, paciencia@ )ut thi! wa! a %itt%e too 'uch. I to%d the' again that it wou%dn>t do.

1cco'0anied # detective!3 I ru!hed to the te%egra0h office through the !treet! of an enchanting town3 noticing it ut %itt%e3 and !ent te%egra'! 9urgente? to 4a ier3 to 1ngui%%ano3 to the chief of the !ecret 0o%ice3 the "ini!ter of the Interior3 Pre'ier ,o'anone!3 the %i era% 0a0er!3 to the re0u %ican de0utie!3 'o i%i!ing a%% the argu'ent! that one cou%d find roo' for in a te%egra'. 1fter thi! I wrote %etter! in ever# 0o!!i %e direction. 97u!t i'agine3 dear friend3? I wrote to the Ita%ian de0ut#3 $errati3 9that #ou are at the 'o'ent in +ver under the !u0ervi!ion of the ,u!!ian 0o%ice3 and that #ou are a out to e e/0e%%ed to +okio3 to a 0%ace that #ou have never had an# intention of going !uch i! a00ro/i'ate%# '# 0o!ition in *adi- on the eve of a forced @ourne# to Aavana.? +hen I da!hed ack with the detective! to the 0refecture. 1t '# in!i!tence and '# e/0en!e3 the %atter te%egra0hed to "adrid that3 rather than go to Aavana3 I 0referred to !ta# in the *adi- 0ri!on unti% the New York oat arrived. I did not want to !urrender. It wa! an e/citing da#. In the 'eanti'e the re0u %ican de0ut# *a!trovido interrogated the govern'ent in the *orte! regarding '# arre!t and de0ortation. 1 controver!# egan in the 0a0er!. +he %eft attacked the 0o%ice3 ut3 a! franco0hi%e!3 conde'ned '# 0acifi!'. +he right !#'0athi!ed with '# 9ger'ano0hi%i!'? (had I not een e/0e%%ed fro' FranceE)3 ut the# were afraid of '# anarchi!'. In thi! confu!ion3 no od# cou%d under!tand an#thing. $ti%%3 I wa! 0er'itted to !ta# in *adi- unti% the ne/t oat arrived for New York. +hi! wa! a con!idera %e victor#. For a few week! after thi! I wa! under the o !ervation of the *adi- 0o%ice. )ut thi! wa! a 0erfect%# 0eacefu%3 0aterna% !ort of o !ervation3 Cuite un%ike the one in Pari!. +here3 during the %a!t two 'onth! of '# !ta#3 I had !0ent a great dea% of energ# tr#ing to dodge the !%euth!. I wou%d drive awa# in a !o%itar# ta/i3 go into a dark cine'a theatre3 @u'0 into a 'etro train at the ver# %a!t 'o'ent3 @u'0 out of it @u!t a! !udden%#3 and !o on. +he detective! were on the a%ert3 too3 and ke0t u0 the cha!e in ever# 0o!!i %e fa!hion. +he# wou%d !natch ta/i! under '# no!e3 kee0 watch at the entrance of the cine'a3 and wou%d o%t out %ike a rocket fro' a tro%%e#<car or fro' the 'etro3 to the great indignation of 0a!!enger! and conductor. Pro0er%# !0eaking3 it wa! on '# 0art a ca!e of art for art>! !ake. "# 0o%itica% activit# %a# o0en to the e#e! of the 0o%ice3 ut the 0ur!uit # the detective! irritated 'e and rou!ed '# !0orting in!tinct!. In *adi-3 on the other hand3 the detective infor'ed 'e that he wou%d return at a certain hour3 and I had to wait 0atient%# for hi' in the hote%. Ae3 for hi! 0art3 fir'%# 0rotected '# intere!t!3 he%0ed 'e in '# 0urcha!e!3 drew '# attention to a%% the ho%%ow! in the !idewa%k!. 5hen the 0edd%er of oi%ed !hri'0! de'anded two reals a do-en for the'3 '# !0# !wore at the 'an in a rage3 !hook hi! fi!t! threatening%# at hi'3 and even ran out of the cafN after hi' and kicked u0 !uch a ru'0u! under the window! that a crowd gathered a out the'. I tried not to wa!te '# ti'eD I worked in the %i rar# on the hi!tor# of $0ain3 'e'ori!ed $0ani!h con@ugation!3 and renewed '# !tock of Eng%i!h word! in 0re0aration for going to 1'erica. +he da#! 0a!!ed a%'o!t i'0erce0ti %#3 and often3 toward evening3 I wou%d note !ad%# that the da# for '# de0arture wa! drawing nearer3 whi%e I wa! 'aking ver# %itt%e headwa# in '# !tudie!. I wa! a%wa#! a%one in the %i rar# not counting the ookwor'! that had eaten awa# 'an# an eighteenth< centur# vo%u'eD !o'eti'e! it took a great dea% of effort to deci0her a na'e or a nu' er. In '# note< ook for that ti'e I find the fo%%owing entr#& 91 hi!torian of the $0ani!h revo%ution te%%! of 0o%itician! who randed it a! cri'e and 'adne!! five 'inute! efore the victor# of the

0o0u%ar 'ove'ent3 ut afterward 0u!hed the'!e%ve! to the front. +he!e c%ever gent%e'en3 the o%d hi!torian te%%! u!3 a00eared in a%% the !u !eCuent revo%ution! and out !houted the other!. +he $0aniard! ca%% the!e !'art fe%%ow! Ppan7istas> fro' the word > e%%#.> 1! i! we%% known3 the na'e of our o%d friend $ancho Pan-a derive! fro' the !a'e word. +he na'e i! hard to tran!%ate3 ut the difficu%t# i! %ingui!tic rather than 0o%itica%. +he t#0e it!e%f i! Cuite internationa%.? $ince 191; I have had 'an# occa!ion! to find that out. It i! re'arka %e that the *adi- 0a0er carried no infor'ation a out the war3 @u!t a! if it did not e/i!t. 5hen I drew '# co'0anion!> attention to the utter a !ence of 'i%itar# re0ort! in the 'o!t 0o0u%ar 0a0er3 (l Diario de %adi:3 the# an!wered in !ur0ri!e3 9I! that !oE ,ea%%#E 5h#3 #e!3 it>! trueJ? )efore then the# had not even noticed it the'!e%ve!. 1fter a%%3 the fighting wa! going on !o'ewhere e#ond the P#renee!. Even I egan to forget the war. +he oat for New York !ai%ed fro' )arce%ona. I 'anaged to wre!t 0er'i!!ion to go there to 'eet '# fa'i%#. In )arce%ona there were new difficu%tie! with the 0refecture3 new 0rote!t! and te%egra'!3 and new detective!. "# fa'i%# arrived B the# too had had difficu%tie! in Pari!. )ut now ever#thing wa! a%% right. 5e went !ight!eeing in )arce%ona3 acco'0anied # detective!. +he o#! a00roved of the !ea and the fruit. 5e had a%% eco'e reconci%ed to the idea of going over to 1'erica. "# atte'0t! to !ecure 0er'i!!ion to go to $wit-er%and # wa# of Ita%# rought no re!u%t. It i! true the 0er'i!!ion wa! fina%%# granted under the 0re!!ure of Ita%ian and $wi!! !ocia%i!t!3 ut it ca'e on%# after '# fa'i%# and I had a%read# e' arked on the $0ani!h oat that wa! to !ai% fro' )arce%ona on 8ece' er I5. +he de%a# wa! intentiona%3 of cour!e. In thi! detai%3 I-vo%!k# arranged thing! ver# we%%. +he door! of Euro0e !hut ehind 'e in )arce%ona. +he 0o%ice 0ut 'e and '# fa'i%# on oard the $0ani!h +ran!at%antic *o'0an#>! !tea'er !onserrat3 which de%ivered it! %ive and dead cargo at New York after !eventeen da#!. $eventeen da#!J +he ti'e wou%d have !ee'ed te'0ting in the da#! of *hri!to0her *o%u' u!3 who!e 'onu'ent tower! over the har our at )arce%ona. )ut the !ea wa! ver# rough at thi! ti'e of the #ear3 and our oat did ever#thing to re'ind u! of the frai%t# of hu'an %ife. +he !onserrat wa! an o%d tu %itt%e !uited for ocean vo#age!. )ut during the war the neutra% $0ani!h f%ag %e!!ened the chance! of eing !unk. +he $0ani!h co'0an# charged high fare!3 and 0rovided ad acco''odation! and even wor!e food. +he 0o0u%ation of the !tea'er i! 'u%tico%ored3 and not ver# attractive in it! variet#. +here are Cuite a few de!erter! fro' different countrie!3 for the 'o!t 0art 'en of fair%# high !tanding. 1n arti!t i! carr#ing awa# hi! 0ainting!3 hi! ta%ent3 hi! fa'i%# and hi! 0ro0ert# under the cha0eronage of hi! o%d father3 in order to get a! far awa# a! 0o!!i %e fro' the firing<%ine. 1 o/er3 who i! a%!o a nove%i!t and a cou!in of O!car 5i%de3 confe!!e! o0en%# that he 0refer! cra!hing Yankee @aw! in a no %e !0ort to %etting !o'e 4er'an !ta hi' in the 'idriff. 1 i%%iard cha'0ion3 an i''acu%ate gent%e'an3 wa/e! indignant a out e/tending con!cri0tion to 'en of hi! age. 1nd a%% for whatE For thi! !en!e%e!! utcher#J 1nd he e/0re!!e! hi! !#'0ath# with the idea! of 6i''erwa%d. +he other! are of 'uch the !a'e !ort& de!erter!3 adventurer!3 !0ecu%ator!3 or !i'0%# 9unde!ira %e!? thrown out of Euro0e. 5ho wou%d ever drea' of cro!!ing the 1t%antic at thi! ti'e of #ear on a wretched %itt%e $0ani!h oat fro' choiceE

It i! 'ore difficu%t to 'ake out the third<c%a!! 0a!!enger!. +he# %ie c%o!e together3 'ove a out ver# %itt%e3 !a# ver# %itt%e for the# have not 'uch to eat and are ver# !u%%en a! the# !ai% fro' a 0overt# that i! itter and hatefu% to another that for the 'o'ent i! !hrouded in uncertaint#. 1'erica work! for fighting Euro0e3 and need! new %a our3 ut it 'u!t e %a our without tracho'a3 without anarchi!' and other di!ea!e! of the !ort. +he oat o0en! to the o#! an end%e!! fie%d for o !ervation. +he# are a%wa#! di!covering !o'ething new. 98o #ou know3 the fire'an i! ver# niceE Ae i! a Pre0u %icker>.? +hank! to their con!tant 'oving a out3 fro' one countr# to an other3 the# !0eak a 0ecu%iar %anguage of their own. 91 re0u %icanE Aow cou%d #ou under!tand hi'E? 9Oh3 he e/0%ain! ever#thing fine. Ae !aid3 P1%fon!o I> and then went PPiff<0iff.>? 9Oh3 then he i! certain%# a re0u %ican3? I agree. +he o#! take the fire'an !o'e dried "a%aga gra0e! and other de%icacie!. 5e are introduced to each other. +he re0u %ican i! a out twent#3 and he !ee'! to have 'o!t definite view! a out the 'onarch#. 9anuary 1, 191IC Ever# one on the oat congratu%ate! ever# one e%!e on the New Year. +wo New Year! of the war I have !0ent in France3 the third i! !0ent on the ocean. 5hat ha! 191; in !tore for u!E Sunday, 9anuary 13C 5e are nearing New York. 1t three o>c%ock in the 'orning3 ever# od# wake! u0. 5e have !to00ed. It i! dark. *o%d. 5ind. ,ain. On %and3 a wet 'ountain of ui%ding!. +he New 5or%dJ

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <<

'(* 4&!5
Aere I wa! in New York3 cit# of 0ro!e and fanta!#3 of ca0ita%i!t auto'ati!'3 it! !treet! a triu'0h of cu i!'3 it! 'ora% 0hi%o!o0h# that of the do%%ar. New York i'0re!!ed 'e tre'endou!%# ecau!e3 'ore than an# other cit# in the wor%d3 it i! the fu%%e!t e/0re!!ion of our 'odern age. Of the %egend! that have !0rung u0 a out 'e3 the greater nu' er have to do with '# %ife in New York. In Norwa#3 which I on%# touched in 0a!!ing3 the re!ourcefu% @ourna%i!t! had 'e working a!

a codfi!h c%eaner. In New York3 where I !ta#ed for two 'onth!3 the new!0a0er! had 'e engaged in an# nu' er of occu0ation!3 each 'ore fanta!tic than the one efore. If a%% the adventure! that the new!0a0er! a!cri ed to 'e were anded to gether in a ook3 the# wou%d 'ake a far 'ore entertaining iogra0h# than the one I a' writing here. )ut I 'u!t di!a00oint '# 1'erican reader!. "# on%# 0rofe!!ion in New York wa! that of a revo%utionar# !ocia%i!t. +hi! wa! efore the war for 9%i ert#? and 9de'ocrac#3? and in tho!e da#! 'ine wa! a 0rofe!!ion no 'ore re0rehen!i %e than that of a oot%egger. I wrote artic%e!3 edited a new!0a0er3 and addre!!ed %a or 'eeting!. I wa! u0 to '# neck in work3 and con!eCuent%# I did not fee% at a%% %ike a !tranger. In one of the New York %i rarie! I !tudied the econo'ic hi!tor# of the Hnited $tate! a!!iduou!%#. +he figure! !howing the growth of 1'erican e/0ort! during the war a!tounded 'eD the# were3 in fact3 a co'0%ete reve%ation. 1nd it wa! tho!e !a'e figure! that not on%# 0redeter'ined 1'erica>! intervention in the war3 ut the deci!ive 0art that the Hnited $tate! wou%d 0%a# in the wor%d after the war3 a! we%%. I wrote !evera% artic%e! a out thi! at the ti'e3 and gave !evera% %ecture!. $ince that ti'e the 0ro %e' of 91'erica ver!u! Euro0e? ha! een one of '# chief intere!t!. 1nd even now I a' !tud#ing the Cue!tion with the ut'o!t care3 ho0ing to devote a !e0arate ook to it. If one i! to under!tand the future de!tin# of hu'anit#3 thi! i! the 'o!t i'0ortant of a%% !u @ect!. +he da# after I arrived in New York I wrote in the ,u!!ian 0a0er3 the 'o y Mir (The 'ew *orld)& 9I %eft a Euro0e wa%%owing in %ood3 ut I %eft with a 0rofound faith in a co'ing revo%ution. 1nd it wa! with no de'ocratic Pi%%u!ion!> that I !te00ed on the !oi% of thi! o%d<enough New 5or%d.? +en da#! %ater I addre!!ed the internationa% 'eeting of we%co'e a! fo%%ow!& 9It i! a fact of !u0re'e i'0ortance that the econo'ic %ife of Euro0e i! eing %a!ted to it! ver# foundation!3 wherea! 1'erica i! increa!ing in wea%th. 1! I %ook enviou!%# at New York B I who !ti%% think of '#!e%f a! a Euro0ean B I a!k '#!e%f& P5i%% Euro0e e a %e to !tand itE 5i%% it not !ink into nothing ut a ce'eter#E 1nd wi%% the econo'ic and cu%tura% centre! of gravit# not !hift to 1'ericaE>? 1nd de!0ite the !ucce!! of what i! ca%%ed 9Euro0ean !ta i%i-ation3? thi! Cue!tion i! @u!t a! 0ertinent to<da#. I %ectured in ,u!!ian and 4er'an in variou! !ection! of New York3 Phi%ade%0hia and other near # citie!. "# Eng%i!h wa! even wor!e than it i! to<da#3 !o that I never even thought of 'aking 0u %ic addre!!e! in Eng%i!h. 1nd #et I have often co'e acro!! reference! to '# !0eeche! in Eng%i!h in New York. On%# the other da# an editor of a *on!tantino0%e 0a0er de!cri ed one of tho!e '#thica% 0u %ic a00earance! which he witne!!ed a! a !tudent in 1'erica. I confe!! that I didn>t have the courage to te%% hi' that he wa! the du0e of hi! own i'agination. )ut a%a!J with even greater a!!urance3 he re0eated the!e !a'e reco%%ection! of hi! in hi! 0a0er. 5e rented an a0art'ent in a worker!> di!trict3 and furni!hed it on the in!ta%'ent 0%an. +hat a0art'ent3 at eighteen do%%ar! a 'onth3 wa! eCui00ed with a%% !ort! of convenience! that we Euro0ean! were Cuite unu!ed to& e%ectric %ight!3 ga! cooking<range3 ath3 te%e0hone3 auto'atic !ervice<e%evator3 and even a chute for the gar age. +he!e thing! co'0%ete%# won the o#! over to New York. For a ti'e the te%e0hone wa! their 'ain intere!tD we had not had thi! '#!teriou! in!tru'ent either in (ienna or Pari!.

+he @anitor of the hou!e wa! a negro. "# wife 0aid hi' three 'onth!> rent in advance3 ut he gave her no recei0t ecau!e the %and%ord had taken the recei0t< ook awa# the da# efore3 to verif# the account!. 5hen we 'oved into the hou!e two da#! %ater3 we di!covered that the Negro had a !conded with the rent of !evera% of the tenant!. )e!ide! the 'one#3 we had intru!ted to hi' the !torage of !o'e of our e%onging!. +he who%e incident u0!et u!D it wa! !uch a ad eginning. )ut we found our 0ro0ert# after a%%3 and when we o0ened the wooden o/ that contained our crocker#3 we were !ur0ri!ed to find our 'one# hidden awa# in it3 carefu%%# wra00ed u0 in 0a0er. +he @anitor had taken the 'one# of the tenant! who had a%read# received their recei0t!D he did not 'ind ro ing the %and%ord3 ut he wa! con!iderate enough not to ro the tenant!. 1 de%icate fe%%ow3 indeed. "# wife and I were dee0%# touched # hi! con!ideration3 and we a%wa#! think of hi' gratefu%%#. +hi! %itt%e incident took on a !#'0to'atic !ignificance for 'e B it !ee'ed a! if a corner of the vei% that concea%ed the 9 %ack? 0ro %e' in the Hnited $tate! had %ifted. 8uring tho!e 'onth! 1'erica wa! u!i%# getting read# for war. 1! ever3 the greate!t he%0 ca'e fro' the 0acifi!t!. +heir vu%gar !0eeche! a out the advantage! of 0eace a! o00o!ed to war invaria %# ended in a 0ro'i!e to !u00ort war if it eca'e 9nece!!ar#.? +hi! wa! the !0irit of the )r#an ca'0aign. +he !ocia%i!t! !ang in tune with the 0acifi!t!. It i! a we%%<known a/io' that 0acifi!t! think of war a! an ene'# on%# in ti'e of 0eace. 1fter the 4er'an! ca'e out for unre!tricted !u 'arine warfare3 'ountain! of 'i%itar# !u00%ie! %ocked the rai%wa#! and fi%%ed a%% the ea!tern !tation! and 0ort!. Price! in!tant%# !oared3 and I !aw thou!and! of wo'en B 'other!3 in the wea%thie!t cit# of the wor%d B co'e out into the !treet!3 u0!et the !ta%%!3 and reak into !ho0!. 5hat wi%% it e %ike in the re!t of the wor%d after the warE I a!ked '#!e%f. On Fe ruar# 3 ca'e the %ong<awaited reak in di0%o'atic re%ation! with 4er'an#. +he vo%u'e of the chauvini!tic 'u!ic wa! increa!ing dai%#. +he tenor of the 0acifi!t! and the fa%!etto of the !ocia%i!t! did not di!ru0t the genera% har'on#. )ut I had !een the !a'e thing in Euro0e3 and the 'o i%i-ation of 1'erican 0atrioti!' wa! !i'0%# a re0etition of what I had !een efore. I noted the !tage! of the 0roce!! in '# ,u!!ian 0a0er3 and 'editated on the !tu0idit# of 'en who were !o !%ow to %earn their %e!!on!. I once !aw3 through the window of '# new!0a0er office3 an o%d 'an with !u00urating e#e! and a !tragg%ing gra# eard !to0 efore a gar age<can and fi!h out a cru!t of read. Ae tried the cru!t with hi! hand!3 then he touched the 0etrified thing with hi! teeth3 and fina%%# he !truck it !evera% ti'e! again!t the can. )ut the read did not #ie%d. Fina%%# he %ooked a out hi' a! if he were afraid or e' arra!!ed3 thru!t hi! find under hi! faded coat3 and !ha' %ed a%ong down $t. "ark>! P%ace. +hi! %itt%e e0i!ode took 0%ace on "arch I3 191;. )ut it did not in an# wa# interfere with the 0%an! of the ru%ing c%a!!. 5ar wa! inevita %e3 and the 0acifi!t! had to !u00ort it. )ukharin wa! one of the fir!t 0eo0%e I 'et in New YorkD he had een de0orted fro' $candinavia on%# a !hort ti'e efore. Ae had known u! in the (ienna da#!3 and we%co'ed u! with the chi%di!h e/u erance characteri!tic of hi'. 1%though it wa! %ate3 and we were ver# tired3 )ukharin in!i!ted on dragging u! off to the Pu %ic =i rar# the ver# fir!t da#. +hat wa! the eginning of a c%o!e a!!ociation that war'ed B on )ukharin>! 0art B into an attach'ent for 'e that grew !teadi%# 'ore inten!e unti% 19I33 when it !udden%# changed to an o00o!ite !enti'ent.

)ukharin>! nature i! !uch that he 'u!t a%wa#! attach hi'!e%f to !o'e one. Ae eco'e!3 in !uch circu'!tance!3 nothing 'ore than a 'ediu' for !o'eone e%!e>! action! and !0eeche!. You 'u!t a%wa#! kee0 #our e#e! on hi'3 or e%!e he wi%% !uccu' Cuite i'0erce0ti %# to the inf%uence of !o'e one direct%# o00o!ed to #ou3 a! other 0eo0%e fa%% under an auto'o i%e. 1nd then he wi%% deride hi! for'er ido% with that !a'e ound%e!! enthu!ia!' with which he ha! @u!t een %auding hi' to the !kie!. I never took )ukharin too !eriou!%#3 and I %eft hi' to hi'!e%f3 which rea%%# 'ean!3 to other!. 1fter the death of =enin3 he eca'e 6inoviev>! 'ediu'3 and then $ta%in>!. 1t the ver# 'o'ent that the!e %ine! are eing written3 )ukharin i! 0a!!ing through !ti%% another cri!i!3 and other f%uid!3 a! #et not known to 'e3 are fi%tering through hi'. "ada'e Ko%onta# wa! in 1'erica at that ti'e3 ut !he trave%%ed a great dea% and I did not 'eet her ver# often. 8uring the war3 !he veered !har0%# to the %eft3 without tran!ition a andoning the rank! of the "en!hevik! for the e/tre'e %eft wing of the )o%!hevik!. Aer know%edge of foreign %anguage! and her te'0era'ent 'ade her a va%ua %e agitator. Aer theoretica% view! have a%wa#! een !o'ewhat confu!ed3 however. In her New York 0eriod3 nothing wa! revo%utionar# enough for her. $he wa! in corre!0ondence with =enin and ke0t hi' infor'ed of what wa! ha00ening in 1'erica3 '# own activitie! inc%uded3 !eeing a%% fact! and idea! through the 0ri!' of her u%tra< radica%i!'. =enin>! re0%ie! to her ref%ected thi! utter%# worth%e!! infor'ation. =ater3 in their fight again!t 'e3 the e0igone! have not he!itated to 'ake u!e of 'i!taken utterance! # =enin3 utterance! that he hi'!e%f recanted oth # word and # deed. In ,u!!ia3 Ko%onta# took fro' the ver# fir!t an u%tra<%eft !tand3 not on%# toward 'e ut toward =enin a! we%%. $he waged 'an# a att%e again!t the 9=enin<+rot!k#? regi'e3 on%# to ow 'o!t 'oving%# %ater on to the $ta%in regi'e. In idea! the $ocia%i!t 0art# of the Hnited $tate! %agged far ehind even Euro0ean 0atriotic $ocia%i!'. )ut the !u0erior air! of the 1'erican 0re!! B !ti%% neutra% at the ti'e B toward an 9in!en!ate? Euro0e3 were ref%ected a%!o in the o0inion! of 1'erican !ocia%i!t!. "en %ike Ai%%Cuit we%co'ed the chance to 0%a# the !ocia%i!t 1'erican 9unc%e? who wou%d a00ear in Euro0e at the crucia% 'o'ent and 'ake 0eace etween the warring faction! of the $econd Internationa%. +o thi! da#3 I !'i%e a! I reca%% the %eader! of 1'erican $ocia%i!'. I''igrant! who had 0%a#ed !o'e ro%e in Euro0e in their #outh3 the# ver# Cuick%# %o!t the theoretica% 0re'i!e the# had rought with the' in the confu!ion of their !trugg%e for !ucce!!. In the Hnited $tate! there i! a %arge c%a!! of !ucce!!fu% and !e'i<!ucce!!fu% doctor!3 %aw#er!3 denti!t!3 engineer!3 and the %ike who divide their 0reciou! hour! of re!t etween concert! # Euro0ean ce%e ritie! and the 1'erican $ocia%i!t 0art#. +heir attitude toward %ife i! co'0o!ed of !hred! and frag'ent! of the wi!do' the# a !or ed in their !tudent da#!. $ince the# a%% have auto'o i%e!3 the# are invaria %# e%ected to the i'0ortant co''ittee!3 co''i!!ion!3 and de%egation! of the 0art#. It i! thi! vain 0u %ic that i'0re!!e! the !ta'0 of it! 'enta%it# on 1'erican $ocia%i!'. +he# think that 5i%!on wa! infinite%# 'ore authoritative than "ar/. 1nd3 0ro0er%# !0eaking3 the# are !i'0%# variant! of 9)a itt3? who !u00%e'ent! hi! co''ercia% activitie! with du%% $unda# 'editation! on the future of hu'anit#. +he!e 0eo0%e %ive in !'a%% nationa% c%an!3 in which the !o%idarit# of idea! u!ua%%# !erve! a! a !creen for u!ine!! connection!. Each c%an ha! it! own %eader3 u!ua%%# the 'o!t 0ro!0erou! of the )a itt!. +he# to%erate a%% idea!3 0rovided the# do not under'ine their traditiona% authorit#3 and do not threaten B 4od for id I B their 0er!ona% co'fort. 1 )a itt of )a itt! i! Ai%%Cuit3 the idea% $ocia%i!t %eader for !ucce!!fu% denti!t!.

"# fir!t contact with the!e 'en wa! enough to ca%% forth their candid hatred of 'e. "# fee%ing! toward the'3 though 0ro a %# %e!! inten!e3 were %ikewi!e not e!0ecia%%# !#'0athetic. 5e e%onged to different wor%d!. +o 'e the# !ee'ed the rottene!t 0art of that wor%d with which I wa! and !ti%% a' at war. O%d Eugene 8e ! !tood out 0ro'inent%# a'ong the o%der generation ecau!e of the Cuench%e!! inner f%a'e of hi! !ocia%i!t idea%i!'. 1%though he wa! a ro'antic and a 0reacher3 and not at a%% a 0o%itician or a %eader3 he wa! a !incere revo%utionar#D #et he !uccu' ed to the inf%uence of 0eo0%e who were in ever# re!0ect hi! inferior!. Ai%%Cuit>! art %a# in kee0ing 8e ! on hi! %eft f%ank whi%e he 'aintained a u!ine!! friend!hi0 with 4o'0er!. 8e ! had a ca0tivating 0er!ona%it#. 5henever we 'et3 he e' raced and ki!!ed 'eD the o%d 'an did not e%ong to the 9dr#!.? 5hen the )a itt! 0roc%ai'ed a %ockade again!t 'e3 8e ! took no 0art in itD he !i'0%# drew a!ide3 !orrowfu%%#. I @oined the editoria% oard of the 'o y Mir at the ver# out!et. +he !taff inc%uded3 e!ide! )ukharin and '#!e%f3 (o%odar!k#3 who %ater wa! ki%%ed # the $ocia%i!t<,evo%utioni!t! in Petrograd3 and *hudnov!k#3 who %ater wa! wounded out!ide Petrograd3 and eventua%%# wa! ki%%ed in the Hkraine. +he 0a0er wa! the headCuarter! for internationa%i!t revo%utionar# 0ro0aganda. In a%% of the nationa% federation! of the $ocia%i!t 0art#3 there were 'e' er! who !0oke ,u!!ian3 and 'an# of the ,u!!ian federation !0oke Eng%i!h. In thi! wa# the idea! of the 'o y Mir found their wa# out into the wider circ%e! of 1'erican worker!. +he 'andarin! of officia% $ocia%i!' grew a%ar'ed. Intrigue! wa/ed hot again!t the Euro0ean i''igrant who3 it wa! !aid3 had !et foot on 1'erican !oi% on%# the da# efore3 did not under!tand the 0!#cho%og# of the 1'erican3 and wa! tr#ing to foi!t hi! fanta!tic 'ethod! on 1'erican worker!. +he !trugg%e grew itter. In the ,u!!ian federation the 9tried and tru!ted? )a itt! were 0ro'0t%# !hou%dered a!ide. In the 4er'an federation o%d $ch%ueter3 the editor<in<chief of the Volks:eit"n#3 and a co'rade in ar'! of Ai%iCuit>!3 wa! 'ore and 'ore #ie%ding hi! inf%uence to the #oung editor =ore3 who !hared our view!. +he =ett! were with u! to a 'an. +he Finni!h federation gravitated toward u!. 5e were 0enetrating # degree! into the 0owerfu% 7ewi!h federation3 with it! fourteen<!tor# 0a%ace fro' which two hundred thou!and co0ie! of the Forward were dai%# di!gorged B a new!0a0er with the !ta%e odor of !enti'enta%%# 0hi%i!tine !ocia%i!'3 a%wa#! read# for the 'o!t 0erfidiou! etra#a%!. 1'ong the 1'erican worker!3 the connection! and inf%uence of the $ocia%i!t 0art# a! a who%e3 and of our revo%utionar# wing in 0articu%ar3 were %e!! effective. +he Eng%i!h organ of the 0art#3 The %all3 wa! edited in a !0irit of innocuou! 0acifi!t neutra%it#. 5e decided to egin # e!ta %i!hing a 'i%itant "ar/i!t week%#. +he 0re0aration! for it were in fu%% !wing B when the ,u!!ian revo%ution intervened % 1fter the '#!teriou! !i%ence of the ca %e! for two or three da#!3 ca'e the fir!t confu!ed re0ort! of the u0ri!ing in Petrograd. +he co!'o0o%itan working<c%a!! in New York wa! a%% e/cited. "en ho0ed and were afraid to ho0e. +he 1'erican 0re!! wa! in a !tate of utter ewi%der'ent. 7ourna%i!t!3 interviewer!3 re0orter!3 ca'e fro' a%% !ide! to the office! of the 'o y Mir. For a ti'e our 0a0er wa! the centre of intere!t of the New York 0re!!. +e%e0hone<ca%%! fro' the $ocia%i!t new!0a0er office! and organi-ation! never !to00ed.

91 ca %egra' ha! arrived !a#ing that Petrograd ha! a00ointed a 4uchkov<"i%iukoff 'ini!tr#. 5hat doe! it 'eanE? 9+hat to<'orrow there wi%% e a 'ini!tr# of "i%iukoff and Keren!k#.? 9I! that !oE 1nd what ne/tE? 9Ne/tE 5e !ha%% e the ne/t.? 9OhoJ? +hi! !ort of thing wa! re0eated do-en! of ti'e!. 1%'o!t ever# one I ta%ked with took '# word! a! a @oke. 1t a !0ecia% 'eeting of 9worth# and 'o!t worth#? ,u!!ian $ocia% 8e'ocrat! I read a 0a0er in which I argued that the 0ro%etariat 0art# inevita %# wou%d a!!u'e 0ower in the !econd !tage of the ,u!!ian revo%ution. +hi! 0roduced a out the !a'e !ort of i'0re!!ion a! a !tone thrown into a 0udd%e a%ive with 0o'0ou! and 0h%eg'atic frog!. 8r. Inger'ann did not he!itate to e/0%ain that I wa! ignorant of the four fir!t ru%e! of 0o%itica% arith'etic3 and that it wa! not worth whi%e wa!ting five 'inute! to refute '# non!en!ica% drea'!. +he working<'a!!e! took the 0ro!0ect! of revo%ution Cuite different%#. "eeting!3 e/traordinar# for their !i-e and enthu!ia!'3 were he%d a%% over New York. Ever#where3 the new! that the red f%ag wa! f%#ing over the 5inter Pa%ace rought an e/cited cheer. Not on%# the ,u!!ian i''igrant!3 ut their chi%dren3 who knew hard%# an# ,u!!ian3 ca'e to the!e 'eeting! to reathe in the ref%ected @o# of the revo%ution. 1t ho'e the# !aw 'e on%# in a ru0t f%a!he!. +he# had a co'0%e/ %ife of their own there. "# wife wa! ui%ding a ne!t3 and the chi%dren had new friend!. +he c%o!e!t wa! the chauffeur of 8r. ". +he doctor>! wife took '# wife and the o#! out driving3 and wa! ver# kind to the'. )ut !he wa! a 'ere 'orta%3 wherea! the chauffeur wa! a 'agician3 a titan3 a !u0er'anJ 5ith a wave of hi! hand3 he 'ade the 'achine o e# hi! !%ighte!t co''and. +o !it e!ide hi' wa! the !u0re'e de%ight. 5hen the# went into a tea<roo'3 the o#! wou%d an/iou!%# de'and of their 'other3 95h# doe!n>t the chauffeur co'e inE? *hi%dren have an a'a-ing ca0acit# for ada0ting the'!e%ve! to new !urrounding!. In (ienna we had %ived for the 'o!t 0art in the worker!> di!trict!3 and '# o#! 'a!tered the (ienne!e dia%ect to 0erfection3 e!ide! !0eaking ,u!!ian and 4er'an. 8r. 1%fred 1d%er o !erved with great !ati!faction that the# !0oke the dia%ect %ike the good o%d (ienne!e ca 'en. In the !choo% in 6urich the o#! had to !witch to the 6urich dia%ect3 which wa! the %anguage in u!e in the %ower grade!3 4er'an eing !tudied a! a foreign %anguage. In Pari! the o#! changed a ru0t%# to French3 and within a few 'onth! had 'a!tered it. "an# ti'e! I envied the' their ea!e in French conver!ation. 1%though the# !0ent3 in a%%3 %e!! than a 'onth in $0ain and on the $0ani!h oat3 it wa! %ong enough for the' to 0ick u0 the 'o!t u!efu% word! and e/0re!!ion!. 1nd then in New York3 the# went to an 1'erican !choo% for two 'onth! and acCuired a rough<and<read# co''and of Eng%i!h. 1fter the Fe ruar# revo%ution3 the# went to !choo% in Petrograd. )ut !choo% %ife there wa! di!organi-ed3 and foreign %anguage! vani!hed fro' their 'e'or# even 'ore

Cuick%# than the# had een acCuired. )ut the# !0oke ,u!!ian %ike foreigner!. 5e were often !ur0ri!ed to notice that the# wou%d ui%d u0 a ,u!!ian !entence a! if it were an e/act tran!%ation fro' the French B and #et the# cou%d not for' the !entence in French. +hu! the !tor# of our foreign wandering! wa! written on the rain! of the chi%dren a! inde%i %# a! if the# were 0a%i'0!e!t!. 5hen I te%e0honed '# wife fro' the new!0a0er office that Petrograd wa! in the 'id!t of revo%ution3 the #ounger o# wa! in ed with di0htheria. Ae wa! nine #ear! o%d3 ut he rea%i-ed definite%# B and had for a %ong ti'e B that revo%ution 'eant an a'ne!t#3 a return to ,u!!ia and a thou!and other %e!!ing!. Ae @u'0ed to hi! feet and danced on the ed in honor of the revo%ution. It wa! a !ign of hi! recover#. 5e were an/iou! to %eave # the fir!t oat. I ru!hed fro' con!u%ate to con!u%ate for 0a0er! and vi!a!. On the eve of our de0arture the doctor a%%owed the conva%e!cent o# to go out for a wa%k. "# wife %et hi' go for ha%f an hour3 and egan to 0ack. Aow 'an# ti'e! !he had gone through that !a'e o0erationE )ut there wa! no !ign of the o#. I wa! at the office. +hree an/iou! hour!D then ca'e a te%e0hone<ca%% to '# wife. Fir!t3 an unfa'i%iar 'a!cu%ine voice3 and then $er#o-ha>! voice& 9I a' here.? 9Aere? 'eant a 0o%ice !tation at the other end of New York. +he o# had taken advantage of hi! fir!t wa%k to !ett%e a Cue!tion that had een worr#ing hi' for a %ong ti'e& 5a! there rea%%# a Fir!t $treetE (5e %ived on 1QTth $treet3 if I a' not 'i!taken.) )ut he had %o!t hi! wa#3 had egun to 'ake inCuirie!3 and wa! taken to the 0o%ice !tation. Fortunate%# he re'e' ered our te%e0hone nu' er. 5hen '# wife arrived at the !tation an hour %ater with our o%der !on3 !he wa! greeted gai%#3 %ike a %ong<awaited gue!t. $er#o-ha wa! 0%a#ing checker! with the 0o%ice'en3 and hi! face wa! Cuite red. +o hide hi! e' arra!!'ent over an e/ce!! of officia% attention3 he wa! di%igent%# chewing !o'e %ack 1'erican cud with hi! new friend!. Ae !ti%% re'e' er! the te%e0hone nu' er of our New York a0art'ent. It wou%d e a gro!! e/aggeration to !a# that I %earned 'uch a out New York. I 0%unged into the affair! of 1'erican $ocia%i!' too Cuick%#3 and I wa! !traightwa# u0 to '# neck in work for it. +he ,u!!ian revo%ution ca'e !o !oon that I on%# 'anaged to catch the genera% %ife<rh#th' of the 'on!ter known a! New York. I wa! %eaving for Euro0e3 with the fee%ing of a 'an who ha! had on%# a 0ee0 into the foundr# in which the fate of 'an i! to e forged. "# on%# con!o%ation wa! the thought that I 'ight return. Even now I have not given u0 that ho0e.

Leon Trotsky

My Life

%3APT(! <<000

0' A %&'%('T!AT0&' %AMP

On "arch I5 I ca%%ed at the office of the ,u!!ian *on!u%<4enera% in New York. )# that ti'e the 0ortrait of *-ar Nicho%a! had een re'oved fro' the wa%%3 ut the heav# at'o!0here of a ,u!!ian 0o%ice !tation under the o%d regi'e !ti%% hung a out the 0%ace. 1fter the u!ua% de%a#! and argu'ent!3 the *on!u%<4enera% ordered that 0a0er! e i!!ued to 'e for the 0a!!age to ,u!!ia. In the )riti!h con!u%ate3 a! we%%3 the# to%d 'e3 when I fi%%ed out the Cue!tionnaire3 that the )riti!h authoritie! wou%d 0ut no o !tac%e! in the wa# of '# return to ,u!!ia. Ever#thing wa! in good order. I !ai%ed with '# fa'i%# and a few other ,u!!ian! on the Norwegian oat Christiania%5ord on the twent#<!eventh of "arch. 5e had een !ent off in a de%uge of f%ower! and !0eeche!3 for we were going to the countr# of the revo%ution. 5e had 0a!!0ort! and vi!a!. ,evo%ution3 f%ower! and vi!a! were a%' to our no'ad !ou%!. 1t Aa%ifa/ the )riti!h nava% authoritie! in!0ected the !tea'er3 and 0o%ice officer! 'ade a 0erfunctor# e/a'ination of the 0a0er! of the 1'erican3 Norwegian and 8utch 0a!!enger!. +he# !u @ected the ,u!!ian!3 however3 to a downright cro!! e/a'ination3 a!king u! a out our conviction!3 our 0o%itica% 0%an!3 and !o forth. I a !o%ute%# refu!ed to enter into a di!cu!!ion of !uch 'atter! with the'. 9You 'a# have a%% the infor'ation #ou want a! to '# identit#3 ut nothing e%!e.? ,u!!ian 0o%itic! were not #et under the contro% of the )riti!h nava% 0o%ice. )ut that did not 0revent the detective!3 "achen and 5e!twood3 fro' 'aking inCuirie! a out 'e a'ong the other 0a!!enger! after the dou %e atte'0t to cro!!<e/a'ine 'e had 0roved futi%e. +he# in!i!ted that I wa! a dangerou! !ocia%i!t. +he who%e u!ine!! wa! !o offen!ive3 !o c%ear%# a di!cri'ination again!t the ,u!!ian revo%utionarie!3 in contra!t to the treat'ent accorded other 0a!!enger! not !o unfortunate a! to e%ong to a nation a%%ied to Eng%and3 that !o'e of the ,u!!ian! !ent a vio%ent 0rote!t to the )riti!h authoritie!. I did not @oin with the' ecau!e I !aw %itt%e u!e in co'0%aining to )ee%-e u a out $atan. )ut at the ti'e we did not fore!ee the future. On 10ri% 33 )riti!h officer!3 acco'0anied # %ue@acket!3 ca'e a oard the Chrisliania%iord and de'anded3 in the na'e of the %oca% ad'ira%3 that I3 '# fa'i%#3 and five other 0a!!enger! %eave the oat. 5e were a!!ured that the who%e incident wou%d e c%eared u0 in Aa%ifa/. 5e dec%ared that the order wa! i%%ega% and refu!ed to o e#3 whereu0on ar'ed %ue@acket! 0ounced on u!3 and a'id !hout! of 9!ha'e? fro' a %arge 0art of the 0a!!enger!3 carried u! odi%# to a nava% cutter3 which de%ivered u! in Aa%ifa/ under the convo# of a crui!er. 5hi%e a grou0 of !ai%or! were ho%ding 'e fa!t3 '# o%der o# ran to he%0 'e and !truck an officer with hi! %itt%e fi!t. 9$ha%% I hit hi' again3 0a0aE? he !houted. Ae wa! e%even then3 and it wa! hi! fir!t %e!!on in )riti!h de'ocrac#. +he 0o%ice %eft '# wife and chi%dren in Aa%ifa/D the re!t of u! were taken # train to 1'her!t3 a ca'0 for 4er'an 0ri!oner!. 1nd there3 in the office3 we were 0ut through an e/a'ination the

%ike of which I had never efore e/0erienced3 even in the Peter<Pau% fortre!!. For in the *-ar>! fortre!! the 0o%ice !tri00ed 'e and !earched 'e in 0rivac#3 wherea! here our de'ocratic a%%ie! !u @ected u! to thi! !ha'efu% hu'i%iation efore a do-en 'en. I can re'e' er $ergeant O%!en3 a $wedi!h<*anadian with a red head of the cri'ina%<0o%ice t#0e3 who wa! the %eader of the !earch. +he canaille who had arranged a%% thi! fro' a di!tance knew we%% enough that we were irre0roacha %e ,u!!ian revo%utionarie! returning to our countr#3 %i erated # the revo%ution. Not unti% the ne/t 'orning did the ca'0 co''ander3 *o%one% "orri!3 in an!wer to our re0eated de'and! and 0rote!t!3 te%% u! the officia% rea!on for the arre!t. 9You are dangerou! to the 0re!ent ,u!!ian govern'ent3? he !aid rief%#. +he co%one%3 o viou!%# not a 'an of e%oCuence3 had worn an air of rather !u!0iciou! e/cite'ent !ince ear%# 'orning. 9)ut the New York agent! of the ,u!!ian govern'ent i!!ued u! 0a!!0ort! into ,u!!ia3? we 0rote!ted3 9and after a%% the ,u!!ian govern'ent !hou%d e a%%owed to take care of it!e%f.? *o%one% "orri! thought for a whi%e3 'oving hi! @aw!3 then added3 9You are dangerou! to the 1%%ie! in genera%.? No written order! for our arre!t were ever 0roduced. )ut3 !0eaking for hi'!e%f3 the co%one% e/0%ained that !ince we were 0o%itica% e'igrant! who o viou!%# had %eft the countr# for good rea!on3 we ought not to e !ur0ri!ed at what had ha00ened. For hi' the ,u!!ian revo%ution !i'0%# did not e/i!t. 5e tried to e/0%ain that the *-ar>! 'ini!ter!3 who in their da# had 'ade u! 0o%itica% e'igrant!3 were the'!e%ve! now in 0ri!on3 e/ce0ting tho!e who had e!ca0ed to other countrie!. )ut thi! wa! too co'0%icated for the co%one%3 who had 'ade hi! career in the )riti!h co%onie! and in the )oer war. I did not !how 0ro0er re!0ect when I !0oke to hi'3 which 'ade hi' grow% ehind '# ack3 9If I on%# had hi' on the $outh 1frican coa!tJ? +hat wa! hi! 0et e/0re!!ion. "# wife wa! not for'a%%# a 0o%itica% e'igrant ecau!e !he had %eft ,u!!ia on a %ega% 0a!!0ort. )ut !he wa! arre!ted @u!t the !a'e3 with oth our o#!3 re!0ective%# nine and e%even #ear! o%d. I a' not e/aggerating when I !a# that the chi%dren were arre!ted. 1t fir!t the *anadian authoritie! tried to !e0arate the' fro' their 'other and 0ut the' in a chi%dren>! ho'e. Overwhe%'ed # !uch a 0ro!0ect3 '# wife dec%ared that !he wou%d never a%%ow the' to !e0arate her fro' her o#!. 1nd it wa! on%# ecau!e of her 0rote!t that the o#! were 0%aced with her in the hou!e of an 1ng%o<,u!!ian 0o%ice agent. +o 0revent 9i%%ega%? de!0atch of %etter! and te%egra'!3 thi! functionar# a%%owed the chi%dren to go out on%# with an e!cort3 even when the# were not with their 'other. It wa! not unti% e%even da#! %ater that '# wife and the chi%dren were a%%owed to 'ove to a hote%3 on condition that the# re0ort each da# at the 0o%ice !tation. +he 1'her!t concentration ca'0 wa! %ocated in an o%d and ver# di%a0idated iron<foundr# that had een confi!cated fro' it! 4er'an owner. +he !%ee0ing unk! were arranged in three tier!3 two dee03 on each !ide of the ha%%. 1 out eight hundred of u! %ived in the!e condition!. +he air in thi! i'0rovi!ed dor'itor# at night can e i'agined. "en ho0e%e!!%# dogged the 0a!!age!3 e% owed their wa# through3 %a# down or got u03 0%a#ed card! or che!!. "an# of the' 0racti!ed craft!3 !o'e with e/traordinar# !ki%%. I !ti%% have3 !tored in "o!cow3 !o'e thing! 'ade # 1'her!t 0ri!oner!. 1nd #et3 in !0ite of the heroic effort! of the 0ri!oner! to kee0 the'!e%ve! 0h#!ica%%# and 'ora%%# fit3 five of the' had gone in!ane. 5e had to eat and !%ee0 in the !a'e roo' with the!e 'ad'en.

Of the!e eight hundred 0ri!oner!3 in who!e co'0an# I !0ent a%'o!t a 'onth3 0erha0! five hundred were !ai%or! fro' 4er'an oat! !unk # the )riti!hD a out two hundred were worker! caught # the war in *anada3 and a hundred 'ore were officer! and civi%ian 0ri!oner! of the ourgeoi! c%a!!. Our re%ation! with the 4er'an 0ri!oner! eca'e c%ear%# defined according to their reaction to the fact that we had een arre!ted a! revo%utionar# !ocia%i!t!. +he officer! and 0ett# officer!3 who!e Cuarter! were ehind a wooden 0artition3 i''ediate%# !et u! down a! ene'ie!D the rank<and<fi%e3 on the other hand3 !urrounded u! with an ever increa!ing friend%ine!!. +he who%e 'onth I wa! there wa! %ike one continuou! 'a!!<'eeting. I to%d the 0ri!oner! a out the ,u!!ian revo%ution3 a out =ie knecht3 a out =enin3 and a out the cau!e! of the co%%a0!e of the o%d Internationa%3 and the intervention of the Hnited $tate! in the war. )e!ide! the!e !0eeche!3 we had con!tant grou0 di!cu!!ion!. Our friend!hi0 grew war'er ever# da#. )# their attitude!3 one cou%d c%a!! the rank<and<fi%e of the 0ri!oner! in two grou0!& tho!e who !aid3 9No 'ore of that3 we 'u!t end it once and for a%%? B the# were the one! who had drea'! of co'ing out into the !treet! and !Cuare! B and tho!e other! who !aid3 95hat have the# to do with 'eE No3 the# won>t get 'e again.? 9Aow wi%% #ou hide #our!e%f fro' the'E? other! wou%d a!k the'. +he coa%<'iner3 )a in!k#3 a ta%%3 %ue<e#ed $i%e!ian3 wou%d !a#3 9I and '# wife and chi%dren wi%% !et our ho'e in a thick fore!t3 and around u! I wi%% ui%d tra0!3 and I wi%% never go out without a gun. =et no one dare to co'e near.? 95on>t #ou %et #e in3 )a in!k#E? 9No3 not even #ou. I don>t tru!t an# od#.? +he !ai%or! did ever#thing the# cou%d to 'ake '# %ife ea!ier3 and it wa! on%# # con!tant 0rote!t! that I ke0t '# right to !tand in %ine for dinner and to do '# !hare of the co'0u%!or# work of !wee0ing f%oor!3 0ee%ing 0otatoe!3 wa!hing crocker#3 and c%eaning the co''on %avator#. +he re%ation! etween the rank<and<fi%e and the officer!3 !o'e of who'3 even in 0ri!on3 were kee0ing a !ort of conduct< ook for their 'en3 were ho!ti%e. +he officer! ended # co'0%aining to the ca'0 co''ander3 *o%one% "orri!3 a out '# anti<0atriotic 0ro0aganda. +he )riti!h co%one% in!tant%# !ided with the Aohen-o%%ern 0atriot! and for ade 'e to 'ake an# 'ore 0u %ic !0eeche!. )ut thi! did not ha00en unti% the %a!t few da#! of our !ta# at the ca'03 and !erved on%# to ce'ent '# friend!hi0 with the !ai%or! and worker!3 who re!0onded to the co%one%>! order # a written 0rote!t earing five hundred and thirt# !ignature!. 1 0%e i!cite %ike thi!3 carried out in the ver# face of $ergeant O%!en>! heav#<handed !u0ervi!ion3 wa! 'ore than a'0%e co'0en!ation for a%% the hard!hi0! of the 1'her!t i'0ri!on'ent. 1%% the ti'e we were confined in the ca'03 the authoritie! !teadfa!t%# refu!ed u! the right to co''unicate with the ,u!!ian govern'ent. Our te%egra'! to Petrograd were not forwarded. 5e 'ade an atte'0t to ca %e =%o#d 4eorge3 the )riti!h 0ri'e 'ini!ter3 0rote!ting again!t thi! 0rohi ition3 ut the ca %e wa! he%d u0. *o%one% "orri! had eco'e accu!to'ed to a !i'0%ified for' of 9habeas corpus? in the co%onie!. +he war gave hi' !ti%% 'ore 0rotection. Ae went !o far a! to !ti0u%ate that I refrain fro' tr#ing to co''unicate through '# wife with the ,u!!ian con!u%

efore he wou%d %et 'e 'eet her again. +hat 'a# !ound incredi %e3 ut it i! true. On !uch a condition3 I dec%ined to 'eet '# wife. Of cour!e3 the con!u% wa! in no hurr# to he%0 u!3 either. Ae wa! waiting for in!truction!3 and the in!truction!3 it !ee'ed3 were !%ow in co'ing. I 'u!t ad'it that even to<da# the !ecret 'achiner# of our arre!t and our re%ea!e i! not c%ear to 'e. +he )riti!h govern'ent 'u!t have 0ut 'e on it! %ack%i!t when I wa! !ti%% active in France. It did ever#thing it cou%d to he%0 the *-ar>! govern'ent ou!t 'e fro' Euro0e3 and it 'u!t have een on the !trength of thi! %ack%i!t3 !u00orted # re0ort! of '# anti<0atriotic activitie! in 1'erica3 that the )riti!h arre!ted 'e in Aa%ifa/. 5hen the new! of '# arre!t found it! wa# into the revo%utionar# ,u!!ian 0re!!3 the )riti!h e' a!!# in Petrograd3 which a00arent%# wa! not e/0ecting '# ear%# return3 i!!ued an officia% !tate'ent to the Petrograd 0re!! that the ,u!!ian! who had een arre!ted in *anada were trave%%ing 9under a !u !id# fro' the 4er'an e' a!!#3 to overthrow the Provi!iona% ,u!!ian govern'ent.? +hi!3 at %ea!t3 wa! 0%ain !0eaking. +he Pra da3 which wa! 0u %i!hed under =enin>! direction3 an!wered )uchanan on 10ri% 1Q3 dou t%e!! # =enin>! own hand& 9*an one even for a 'o'ent e%ieve the tru!tworthine!! of the !tate'ent that +rot!k#3 the chair'an of the $oviet of 5orker!> 8e%egate! in $t. Peter! urg in 1925 B a revo%utionar# who ha! !acrificed #ear! to a di!intere!ted !ervice of revo%ution B that thi! 'an had an#thing to do with a !che'e !u !idi-ed # the 4er'an govern'entE +hi! i! a 0atent3 unheard< of3 and 'a%iciou! !%ander of a revo%utionar#. Fro' who' did #ou get #our infor'ation3 "r. )uchananE 5h# don>t #ou di!c%o!e thatE $i/ 'en dragged *o'rade +rot!k# awa# # hi! %eg! and ar'!3 a%% in the na'e of friend!hi0 for the Provi!iona% ,u!!ian govern'entJ9 +he 0art 0%a#ed # the Provi!iona% govern'ent in a%% thi! i! %e!! c%ear. One need! no 0roof to !how that "i%iukoff3 then 'ini!ter of foreign affair!3 wa! heart and !ou% in favor of '# arre!tD a! ear%# a! 1925 he wa! waging itter war again!t 9+rot!k#i!'?D the ver# ter' i! of hi! coining. )ut he wa! de0endent on the $oviet3 and had to e a%% the 'ore circu'!0ect ecau!e hi! !ocia%< 0atriotic a%%ie! had not #et egun the aiting of the )o%!hevik!. )uchanan in hi! 'e'oir! !a#! that 9+rot!k# and other ,u!!ian refugee! were eing detained at Aa%ifa/ unti% the wi!he! of the Provi!iona% govern'ent with regard to the' had een a!certained.? 1ccording to the )riti!h a' a!!ador3 "iiukoff wa! i''ediate%# infor'ed of our arre!t. 1! ear%# a! 10ri% G3 the )riti!h a' a!!ador c%ai'! he conve#ed "iiukoff>! reCue!t for our re%ea!e to hi! govern'ent. +wo da#! %ater3 however3 the !a'e "iiukoff withdrew hi! reCue!t and e/0re!!ed the ho0e that our !ta# in Aa%ifa/ wou%d e 0ro%onged. 9It wa! the Provi!iona% govern'ent3 therefore3? conc%ude! )uchanan3 9that wa! re!0on!i %e for their further detention.? +hi! a%% !ound! ver# 'uch %ike the truth. +he on%# thing that )uchanan forgot to e/0%ain in hi! 'e'oir! i!& 5hat eca'e of the 4er'an !u !id# that I wa! !u00o!ed to have acce0ted to overthrow the Provi!iona% govern'entE 1nd no wonder B for a! !oon a! I arrived in Petrograd3 )uchanan wa! forced to !tate in the 0re!! that he knew nothing at a%% a out the !u !id#. Never efore did 0eo0%e %ie a! 'uch a! the# did during the 9great war for %i ert#.? If %ie! cou%d e/0%ode3 our 0%anet wou%d have een %own to du!t %ong efore the treat# of (er!ai%%e!. In the end3 the $oviet !te00ed in and "i%iukoff had to ow. On the twent#<ninth of 10ri% ca'e the hour for our re%ea!e fro' the concentration ca'0. )ut even in re%ea!e we were !u @ected to vio%ence. 5e were ordered to 0ack our thing! and 0roceed under convo#. 5hen we de'anded the wh# and wherefore3 the# refu!ed to !a# an#thing. +he 0ri!oner! eca'e e/cited ecau!e the#

thought we were eing taken to a fortre!!. 5e a!ked for the neare!t ,u!!ian con!u%D the# refu!ed u! again. 5e had rea!on enough for not tru!ting the!e highwa#'en of the !ea3 and !o we in!i!ted that we wou%d not go vo%untari%# unti% the# to%d u! where we were going. +he co''ander ordered forci %e 'ea!ure!. $o%dier! of the convo# carried out our %uggage3 ut we !ta#ed !tu orn%# in our unk!. It wa! on%# when the convo# wa! faced with the ta!k of carr#ing u! out odi%#3 @u!t a! we had een taken off the !tea'er a 'onth ear%ier3 and of doing it in the 'id!t of a crowd of e/cited !ai%or!3 that the co''ander re%ented and to%d u!3 in hi! characteri!tic 1ng%o< *o%onia% wa#3 that we were to !ai% on a 8ani!h oat for ,u!!ia. +he co%one%>! 0ur0%e face twitched convu%!ive%#. Ae cou%d not ear the thought that we were e!ca0ing hi'. If on%# it had een on the 1frican coa!tJ 1! we were eing taken awa# fro' the ca'03 our fe%%ow 0ri!oner! gave u! a 'o!t i'0re!!ive !end<off. 1%though the officer! !hut the'!e%ve! u0 in their co'0art'ent3 and on%# a few 0oked their no!e! through the chink!3 the !ai%or! and worker! %ined the 0a!!age on oth !ide!3 an i'0rovi!ed and 0%a#ed the revo%utionar# 'arch3 and friend%# hand! were e/tended to u! fro' ever# Cuarter. One of the 0ri!oner! de%ivered a !hort !0eech acc%ai'ing the ,u!!ian revo%ution and cur!ing the 4er'an 'onarch#. Even now it 'ake! 'e ha00# to re'e' er that in the ver# 'id!t of the war3 we were fraterni-ing with 4er'an !ai%or! in 1'her!t. In %ater #ear! I received friend%# %etter! fro' 'an# of the'3 !ent fro' 4er'an#. "achen3 the )riti!h 0o%ice officer who had rought a out our arre!t3 wa! 0re!ent at our de0arture. 1! a 0arting !hot I warned hi' that '# fir!t u!ine!! in the *on!tituent 1!!e' %# wou%d e to Cue!tion foreign 'ini!ter "i%#ukoff a out the outrageou! treat'ent of ,u!!ian citi-en! # the 1ng%o<*anadian 0o%ice. 9I ho0e3? !aid "achen in Cuick retort3 9that #ou wi%% never get into the *on!tituent 1!!e' %#.?

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <<0V

0' P(T!&7!AD
+he @ourne# fro' Aa%ifa/ to Petrograd 0a!!ed 'onotonou!%#3 %ike going through a tunne% B and it rea%%# wa! a tunne% into the revo%ution. Of '# tri0 through $weden3 I re'e' er nothing ut read<card!3 the fir!t I had ever !een. In Fin%and3 I 'et (anderve%de and 8e "an on a trainD the# a%!o were going to Petrograd. 98o #ou recogni-e u!E? 8e "an a!ked. 9I do B a%though 0eo0%e change a %ot in ti'e of war.? 1nd our conver!ation ended with that not ver# courteou! retort.

In hi! #ounger da#!3 8e "an had tried to e a "ar/i!t3 and had fought (anderve%de we%%. 8uring the war he !hed the innocent infatuation! of hi! #outh in 0o%itic!D after the war he !hed the' in theor#. Ae eca'e an agent of hi! govern'ent3 and nothing 'ore. 1! for (anderve%de B he wa! the %ea!t i'0ortant of the %eading grou0 of the Internationa%. Ae wa! e%ected chair'an ecau!e neither a 4er'an nor a French'an cou%d ho%d the 0o!t. 1! a theori!t3 he wa! !i'0%# a co'0i%erD he 'aneuvered hi! wa# a out a'ong the variou! !ocia%i!tic current! a! hi! govern'ent did a'ong the 4reat Power!. Ae never had an# authorit# a'ong ,u!!ian "ar/i!t!D a! an orator he wa! never 'ore than a ri%%iant 'ediocrit#. 5hen the war ca'e a%ong3 he e/changed the chair'an!hi0 of the Internationa% for a 0o!t a! ro#a% 'ini!ter. I fought (anderve%de i'0%aca %# in '# Pari! 0a0erD # wa# of an!wer3 he a00ea%ed to the ,u!!ian revo%utionarie! to 'ake 0eace with *-ardo'. Now he wa! going to Petrograd to invite the ,u!!ian revo%ution to take *-ardo'>! 0%ace in the rank! of the 1%%ie!. 5e had nothing to !a# to each other. 1t )e%oo!trov3 the !tation on the Finni!h order3 we were we%co'ed # a de%egation of the Hnited Internationa%i!t! and the *entra% *o''ittee of the )o%!hevik!. No one wa! there fro' the "en!hevik! B not even fro' their 9internationa%i!t? wing ("artov3 etc.). I e' raced '# o%d friend Hrit-k#3 who' I had 'et in $i eria at the eginning of the centur#. Ae had een the 0er'anent corre!0ondent of the Pari! 'ashe )lo o for $candinavia3 and had acted a! our connecting %ink with ,u!!ia during the war. 1 #ear after we 'et at )e%oo!trov3 Hrit-k# wa! a!!a!!inated # a #oung $ocia%i!t<,evo%utioni!t. L1M It wa! in the we%co'ing de%egation that I fir!t 'et Karakhan3 who %ater eca'e fa'ou! a! a $oviet di0%o'ati!t. +he )o%!hevik! were re0re!ented # F#odorov3 a 'eta%<worker who !oon after eca'e the chair'an of the worker!> !ection of the Petrograd $oviet. Even efore we reached )e%oo!trov3 I had %earned fro' the ,u!!ian 0a0er! that *hernov3 +-erete%i and $ko e%ev had @oined the coa%ition Provi!iona% govern'ent. +he a%ign'ent of the 0o%itica% grou0! eca'e 0erfect%# c%ear at once. =oo'ing ahead of u! a! !o'ething that 'u!t e %aunched 0ro'0t%#3 wa! an i'0%aca %e fight3 a%%ied with the )o%!hevik!3 again!t the "en!hevik! and the Po0u%i!t!. 5e were given a tre'endou! we%co'e at the Finni!h ter'ina% in Petrograd. Hrit-k# and F#odorov 'ade !0eeche!3 and I an!wered with a 0%ea for the nece!!it# of 0re0aring a !econd revo%ution B our own. 1nd when the# !udden%# %ifted 'e into the air3 I thought of Aa%ifa/3 where I had had the !a'e e/0erienceD ut thi! ti'e the ar'! were tho!e of friend!. +here were 'an# anner! around u!. I noticed '# wife>! e/cited %ook3 and the 0a%e di!tur ed face! of '# o#!3 who were not certain whether thi! wa! a good or a ad !ignD the# had a%read# een deceived once # the revo%ution. 1t the end of the 0%atfor'3 right ehind 'e3 I noticed 8e "an and (anderve%de. +he# ke0t ack on 0ur0o!e3 a00arent%# ecau!e the# were afraid to 'i/ with the crowd. +he new $ocia%i!t 'ini!ter! of ,u!!ia had not arranged an# we%co'e for their )e%gian co%%eague. (anderve%de>! rF%e of the da# efore wa! !ti%% too fre!h in ever# one>! 'e'or#. I''ediate%# after the we%co'e at the !tation3 I found '#!e%f in a whir%0oo% in which 'en and event! !we0t # 'e a! !wift%# a! %itter on a ru!hing !trea'. +he 'o!t i'0ortant event! are now the %ea!t charged with 0er!ona% 'e'orie!3 for thu! doe! 'e'or# guard again!t urdening it!e%f

too heavi%#. I think that I went fro' the !tation !traight to the 'eeting of the E/ecutive *o''ittee of the $oviet. *hied-e3 who3 at that ti'e wa! invaria %# the chair'an3 greeted 'e rather dr#%#. +he )o%!hevik! 'oved that I e e%ected to the E/ecutive *o''ittee3 on the !trength of '# having een chair'an of the $oviet in 1925. +hi! threw the co''ittee into confu!ion. +he "en!hevik! and the Po0u%i!t! egan whi!0ering to one another. +he# had then an overwhe%'ing 'a@orit# in a%% the revo%utionar# in!titution!. Fina%%# it wa! decided to inc%ude 'e in an advi!or# ca0acit#. I wa! given '# 'e' er!hi0 card and '# g%a!! of tea with %ack read. Even '# wife and I !hared a it in the ewi%der'ent of our o#! in the !treet! of Petrograd at hearing ,u!!ian3 and !eeing the ,u!!ian !ign! on the !ho0!. 5e had een awa# fro' the ca0ita% for ten #ear!. 5hen we %eft our o%de!t o# wa! on%# a %itt%e over a #ear o%dD the #ounger one had een orn in (ienna. +he Petrograd garri!on wa! enor'ou!3 ut it wa! no %onger !o%id in it! a%%egiance!. +he !o%dier! !ang revo%utionar# !ong! a! the# 'arched3 and !0orted red ri on! on their tunic!. It a%% !ee'ed a! incredi %e a! a drea'. +he tra'<car! were fu%% of !o%dier!. "i%itar# training wa! !ti%% going on in the wider !treet!. ,if%e'en wou%d !Cuat to charge3 run a di!tance in a %ine3 and then !Cuat again. 5ar3 the gigantic 'on!ter3 wa! !ti%% !tanding ehind the revo%ution3 throwing it! !hadow u0on it. )ut the 'a!!e! no %onger e%ieved in the war3 and it !ee'ed a! if the training were going on on%# ecau!e no one had thought of !to00ing it. +he war had eco'e i'0o!!i %e3 ut the %i era%! (Kadet!) had not #et egun to under!tand that3 nor had the %eader! of the !o<ca%%ed 9revo%utionar# de'ocrac#.? +he# were 'orta%%# afraid to %et go of the !kirt! of the Entente. I knew +-erete%i on%# !%ight%#3 Keren!k# not at a%%3 and *hied-e !o'ewhat etter. $ko e%ev wa! an o%d 0u0i% of 'ine. 5ith *hernov I had had 'an# 0a!!age! at ar'! in the de ate! a road. 4XtI now 'et for the fir!t ti'e. 1nd thi! wa! the ru%ing grou0 of the $oviet de'ocrac#. +-erete%i wa! unCue!tiona %# head and !hou%der! a ove the other!. I fir!t 'et hi' at the =ondon congre!! of 192;3 when he re0re!ented the $ocia% 8e'ocratic faction in the $econd 8u'a. Even in tho!e ear%# da#!3 he wa! a !0%endid !0eaker who!e 'ora% integrit# 'ade a !trong a00ea%. Ai! #ear! of hard<%a or in $i eria advanced hi! 0o%itica% authorit#. Ae returned to the revo%utionar# arena a 'ature 'an and i''ediate%# took a fore'o!t 0%ace a'ong hi! con%rAres and a%%ie!. Ae wa! the on%# one of '# o00onent! to e taken !eriou!%#. )ut3 a! i! often the ca!e in hi!tor#3 it took a revo%ution to 0rove that +-erete%i wa! not a revo%utionar#. One had to a00roach the ,u!!ian revo%ution fro' the wor%d 0oint of view3 rather than fro' that of ,u!!ia3 to avoid getting %o!t in co'0%e/itie!. Yet +-erete%i a00roached it with the ackground of hi! e/0erience in 4eorgia3 !u00%e'ented # that in the $econd 8u'a. Ai! 0o%itica% out%ook 0roved to e ho0e%e!!%# narrow3 hi! education !u0erficia%%# %iterar#. Ae had a 0rofound re!0ect for %i era%i!'D he viewed the irre!i!ti %e d#na'ic! of revo%ution with the e#e! of a ha%f<educated ourgeoi!3 terrified for the !afet# of cu%ture. +he awakened 'a!!e! !ee'ed to hi' 'ore and 'ore %ike a 'utinou! 'o . Fro' hi! ver# fir!t word!3 I rea%i-ed that he wa! an ene'#. =enin ca%%ed hi' a 9du%%ard.? It wa! crue%3 ut a0t B +-erete%i wa! a gifted and hone!t ut %i'ited 'an. =enin ca%%ed Keren!k# a 90ett# raggart.? Even now there i! %itt%e one can add to that. Keren!k# wa! and !ti%% i! an adventitiou! figure3 a ru%ing favorite of the hi!torica% 'o'ent. Ever# 'ight# wave of revo%ution3 a! it draw! in the virgin 'a!!e! not #et trained to di!cri'ination3 inevita %#

rai!e! on it! cre!t !uch heroe! for a da#3 heroe! who are in!tant%# %inded # their own effu%gence. Keren!k# fo%%owed in the direct %ine of Father 4a0on and Khru!ta%#ov. Ae 0er!onified the accidenta% in an otherwi!e continuou! cau!ation. Ai! e!t !0eeche! were 'ere%# a !u'0tuou! 0ounding of water in a 'ortar. In 191;3 the water oi%ed and !ent u0 !tea'3 and the c%oud! of !tea' 0rovided a ha%o. $ko e%ev fir!t entered 0o%itic! under '# guidance when he wa! a !tudent in (ienna. Ae %eft the editoria% !taff of the (ienna Pra da to go ho'e to the *auca!u! to tr# to get e%ected to the Fourth 8u'a. In thi! he wa! !ucce!!fu%. In the 8u'a he ca'e under the inf%uence of the "en!hevik!3 and entered the Fe ruar# revo%ution with the'. Our connection! had %ong ago een roken off. I found hi' in Petrograd a! a new%# created 'ini!ter of %a or. Ae ca'e !waggering u0 to 'e in the E/ecutive *o''ittee and a!ked 'e what I thought of it a%%. I an!wered& 9I think we !ha%% get the etter of #ou ver# !oon.? It wa! not ver# %ong ago that $ko e%ev %aughing%# re'inded 'e of thi! friend%# foreca!t3 which ca'e true !i/ 'onth! %ater. $oon after the Octo er victor# he dec%ared hi'!e%f a )o%!hevik. =enin and I were o00o!ed to hi! ad'i!!ion to the 0art#. 1t 0re!ent3 of cour!e3 he i! a $ta%inite B and in thi!3 thing! are a! the# !hou%d e. 5ith '# wife and chi%dren I found with great difficu%t# a roo' in the Kiev Ao!te%r#. On our !econd da# there3 a re!0%endent #oung officer ca%%ed to !ee u!. 9You don>t recogni-e 'eE? I did not. 9I a' =oghinov.? 1nd a! I %ooked at the de onair #oung officer3 I re'e' ered a #oung %ack!'ith of 19253 a 'e' er of a fighting unit3 who had engaged in !treet fight! with the 0o%ice3 and had attached hi'!e%f to 'e with a%% the fervor of #outh. I %o!t track of hi' after 1925. It wa! on%# now3 in Petrograd3 that I %earned fro' hi' that he wa! not rea%%# the 0ro%etarian =oghinov3 ut a !tudent at the techno%og# in!titute3 a 'an na'ed $ere rov!k#3 who ca'e of a wea%th# fa'i%#3 ut in hi! #ounger #ear! had eco'e affi%iated with the worker!. In the reactionar# 0eriod3 he eca'e a Cua%ified engineer and drew awa# fro' the revo%utionD during the war3 he had een a govern'ent director of two of the igge!t 0%ant! in Petrograd. +he Fe ruar# revo%ution !hook hi' u0 and 'ade hi' re'e' er hi! 0a!t. Ae had heard through the new!0a0er! of '# return3 and now he wa! !tanding efore 'e in!i!ting that '# fa'i%# and I 'ove to hi! a0art'ent3 and that without de%a#. 1fter !o'e he!itation3 we con!ented. $ere rov!k# and hi! #oung wife occu0ied an enor'ou! and %u/uriou! a0art'ent eco'ing to a director. +he# had no chi%drenD ever#thing wa! waiting for u! there. In a ha%f<!tarved and di%a0idated cit#3 we fe%t a! if we were in heaven. )ut thing! changed !udden%# when we egan to ta%k 0o%itic!. $ere rov!k# wa! a 0atriotD we found out afterward that he hated the )o%!hevik! itter%#3 and con!idered =enin a 4er'an agent. 1t the out!et he 'et with o00o!ition fro' 'e3 and he i''ediate%# eca'e 'ore circu'!0ect. )ut it wa! i'0o!!i %e to %ive in the !a'e hou!e with hi'D !o we %eft the ho'e of the!e ho!0ita %e ut3 a! far a! we were concerned3 a%ien 0eo0%e3 and returned to our roo' in the Kiev Ao!te%r#. $o'e ti'e %ater3 $ere rov!k# once again got our o#! to vi!it hi' at hi! hou!e. Ae treated the' to tea and 0re!erve! and the o#! gratefu%%# to%d hi' their i'0re!!ion! of =enin>! !0eech at a 0u %ic 'eeting3 their face! f%u!hed with 0%ea!ure over the chatter and the 0re!erve!. 9)ut =enin i! a 4er'an !0#3? !aid their ho!t.

5hat wa! thatE *ou%d an# one have !aid tho!e word!E +he o#! re%inCui!hed their tea and 0re!erve! and @u'0ed to their feet. 95e%%3 that i! certain%# a dirt# thing to !a#3? dec%ared the e%der of the two3 a! he !earched hi! 'eagre voca u%ar# for an a00ro0riate word. It wa! the ho!t>! turn to fee% offended3 and with thi! their acCuaintance ca'e to an end. 1fter our victor# in Octo er3 I induced $ere rov!k# to @oin in the $oviet work. +he $oviet !ervice rought hi'3 a! it did !o 'an# other!3 into the *o''uni!t 0art#. 1t 0re!ent3 he i! a 'e' er of $ta%in>! *entra% *o''ittee of the 0art#3 and one of the 'ain!ta#! of the rNgi'e. If he cou%d 0a!! for a 0ro%etarian in 19253 it i! even ea!ier for hi' to 0a!! for a )o%!hevik now. 1fter the 7u%# da#!3 of which I wi%% !a# 'ore %ater3 the !treet! of the ca0ita% tee'ed with !%ander again!t the )o%!hevik!. I wa! arre!ted # Keren!k#>! govern'ent and3 two 'onth! after '# return fro' e/i%e3 found '#!e%f once again in the fa'i%iar Kre!t# 0ri!on. *o%one% "orri! of 1'her!t 'u!t have read the new! in hi! 'orning 0a0er with great !ati!faction3 and he wa! not the on%# one who fe%t that wa# a out it. )ut the o#! were di!grunt%ed. 5hat !ort of a revo%ution wa! thi!3 the# a!ked their 'other re0roachfu%%#3 if 8ad cou%d fir!t e 0ut in a concentration ca'0 and then in 0ri!onE +heir 'other a!!ured the' that thi! wa! not #et the rea% revo%ution. )ut the itterne!! of !ce0tici!' had cre0t into their !ou%!. 1fter '# re%ea!e fro' the 0ri!on of the 9revo%utionar# de'ocrac#3? we !ett%ed down in a %itt%e a0art'ent3 rented fro' the widow of a %i era% @ourna%i!t3 in a ig ourgeoi! hou!e. Pre0aration! for the Octo er revo%ution were in fu%% !wing. I wa! 'ade the chair'an of the Petrograd $oviet. +he 0re!! attacked 'e in ever# conceiva %e wa#. 1t ho'e we were !urrounded # a wa%% of growing en'it# and hatred. Our cook3 1nna O!i0ovna3 had to endure the attack! of the hou!ewive! whenever !he went to the Aou!e co''ittee for our ration of read. "# !on wa! hounded at !choo%3 and du ed 9chair'an3? after hi! father. 5hen '# wife ca'e ho'e fro' her work at the 5ood<5orker!> +rade Hnion3 the head @anitor watched her go #3 with e#e! fu%% of hatred. It wa! torture to wa%k u0 the !tair!. Our %and%ad# ke0t a!king u! over the te%e0hone whether her furniture wa! !afe. 5e wanted to %eave the hou!e B ut where cou%d we goE +here were no a0art'ent! avai%a %e in the entire cit#. +he !ituation wa! growing 'ore and 'ore into%era %e3 ut one fine da# the hou!e %ockade cea!ed a! a ru0t%# a! if !o'e od# had %ifted it with an a%%<0owerfu% hand. 5hen the head @anitor 'et '# wife he wou%d 'ake a ow !uch a! on%# the 'o!t i'0ortant tenant! were 0rivi%eged to receive. 1t the Aou!e co''ittee3 the read wa! i!!ued without de%a#! or threat!. No one anged door! in our face! now. 5ho had achieved thi! change B what 'agicianE It wa! Niko%a# "arkin. I 'u!t give an account of hi'3 ecau!e through hi'3 or rather through a co%%ective "arkin3 the Octo er revo%ution wa! victoriou!. "arkin wa! a !ai%or in the )a%tic nav#3 a gunner and a )o%!hevik. 1t the out!et3 we did not know of hi! e/i!tence B it wa! not hi! wa# to 0u!h hi'!e%f forward. "arkin wa! not a !0eakerD word! ca'e to hi' with difficu%t#. "oreover3 he wa! !h# and !u%%en3 with the !u%%enne!! of a force driven in dee0. Ae wa! cut a%% of one 0iece3 and of the 0ure!t d#e. I did not even know that he e/i!ted when he undertook to care for '# fa'i%#. Ae got to know our o#!3 treated the' to tea and !andwiche! at the canteen of the $'o%n#3 and3 in genera%3 0rovided the' with the %itt%e 0%ea!ure! that were !o hard to get in that gri' 0eriod. 5ithout ever !howing hi'!e%f3 he wou%d dro0 in to inCuire if ever#thing wa! a%% right. I did not even !u!0ect hi! e/i!tence. Fro' the o#!

and fro' 1nna O!i0ovna3 he %earned that we were %iving in the ca'0 of the ene'#. "arkin ca%%ed on the head @anitor and the Aou!e co''ittee3 not a%one3 I think3 ut with a grou0 of !ai%or!. Ae 'u!t have u!ed !o'e ver# 0er!ua!ive word!3 for !udden%# ever#thing a out u! wa! changed. 1nd thu!3 even efore the Octo er revo%ution3 there wa! a dictator!hi0 of the 0ro%etariat in our hou!e. Not unti% 'uch %ater did we %earn that the !ai%or3 our chi%dren>! friend3 wa! re!0on!i %e for a%% thi!. 1! !oon a! the $oviet turned )o%!hevik3 the *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee o00o!ed to the )o%!hevik! u!ed the !u00ort of the owner! of the 0rinting<work! to de0rive the $oviet of it! 0a0er. 5e needed a new organ. I con!u%ted "arkin. Ae vani!hed into the a #!!3 'ade the nece!!ar# ca%%!3 had hi! !a# with the 0rinter!3 and in a few da#! we had a new!0a0er. 5e ca%%ed it The *orker and the )oldier. "arkin !0ent da# and night in the office arranging thing!. 8uring the Octo er da#!3 hi! !o%id figure3 with it! dark and !u%%en head3 wa! a wa#! turning u0 in the 'o!t dangerou! 0%ace! at the 'o!t crucia% 'o'ent. Ae ca%%ed to !ee 'e on%# to !a# that ever#thing wa! a%% right and a!k if I needed an#thing. Ae had widened hi! !0here B he wa! e!ta %i!hing the dictator!hi0 of the 0ro%etariat in Petrograd. +he %ooting of the rich wine !tore! of the ca0ita% # the ra %e of the !treet! wa! eginning. )ehind thi! dangerou! 'ove'ent wa! !o'e one who wa! tr#ing to con!u'e the revo%ution in the f%a'e! of a%coho%. "arkin in!tant%# !en!ed the danger3 and went to fight it. Ae guarded the wine !tore!D when it wa! i'0o!!i %e to guard the'3 he de!tro#ed the'. In high oot!3 he wou%d wade to hi! knee! in 0reciou! wine! fu%% of roken ott%e!. +he wine f%owed down the o0en !treet !ewer! into the Neva and !tained the !nowD ti00%er! %a00ed it u0 fro' the gutter!. 5ith revo%ver in hand3 "arkin fought for a !o er Octo er. $oaked to the !kin3 e/uding the fragrance of the choice!t wine!3 he wou%d return ho'e3 where our two o#! were waiting reath%e!!%# for hi'. "arkin eat off the a%coho%ic attack of the counter<revo%ution. 5hen I wa! in!tru!ted with the 'ini!tr# of foreign affair!3 it !ee'ed Cuite i'0o!!i %e to !tart an#thing. +he entire !taff3 fro' the a!!i!tant 'ini!ter to the t#0i!t3 were 0racti!ing !a otage again!t u!. +he ca!e! were %ocked and the ke#! were 'i!!ing. I ca%%ed in "arkin3 who knew the !ecret of direct action. +wo or three di0%o'at! !0ent twent#<four hour! in %ocked roo'!3 and the ne/t da# "arkin rought 'e the ke#! and invited 'e to the 'ini!tr#. )ut I wa! !ti%% u!# at the $'o%n# with the genera% work of the revo%ution3 and !o3 for a ti'e3 "arkin eca'e an unofficia% 'ini!ter of foreign affair!. Ae %earned the 'echani!' of the co''i!!ariat Cuick%#3 carried on the weeding<out of the high< orn and thieving di0%o'at! with a fir' hand3 reorgani-ed the office3 confi!cated for the enefit of the ho'e%e!! the contra and which wa! !ti%% co'ing through fro' a road in the va%i!e! of di0%o'at!3 e/tracted the 'ore in!tructive !ecret docu'ent! fro' the archive!3 and 0u %i!hed the' on hi! own re!0on!i i%it# and with hi! own co''entarie!3 in !e0arate 0a'0h%et!. "arkin had no acade'ic degree3 and hi! writing wa! not free fro' gra''atica% error!. Ai! co''ent! were !o'eti'e! Cuite une/0ected. )ut3 on the who%e3 he drove the di0%o'atic nai%! in fir'%#3 and at the ver# 0oint! where the# were 'o!t needed. )aron von KUh%'ann and *ount *-ernin read "arkin>! #e%%ow 0a'0h%et! at )re!t<=itov!k eager%#. +hen the civi% war egan. "arkin fi%%ed 'an# reache!. Now he wa! e!ta %i!hing the dictator!hi0 far to the ea!t3 co''anding a f%oti%%a on the (o%ga3 and driving the ene'# efore hi'. 5henever I heard that the 'an at the danger<0oint wa! "arkin3 I fe%t re%ieved and heartened. )ut hi! hour

had !truck. On the Ka'a3 an ene'#>! u%%et overtook Niko%a# 4eorgi#evich "arkin and knocked hi' off hi! !trong !ea'an>! feet. 5hen the te%egra' te%%ing of hi! death reached 'e3 I fe%t a! if a co%u'n of granite had co'e cra!hing down in front of 'e. Ai! 0hotogra0h !tood on the chi%dren>! ta %e3 in a !ai%or ca0 with ri on!. 9)o#!3 o#!3 "arkin i! deadJ? +wo 0a%e face! were twi!ted with !udden 0ain efore 'e. +he# had een on an eCua% footing with the !u%%en Niko%a#. Ae had initiated the' into hi! 0%an! and into the !ecret! of hi! %ife. 5ith tear! in hi! e#e!3 he had to%d the nine<#ear<o%d $er#o-ha that the wo'an he had %oved !o dear%# and !o %ong had de!erted hi'3 and that wa! wh# there wa! often darkne!! and !u%%enne!! in hi! !ou%. In a frightened whi!0er3 and with tear! in hi! e#e!3 $er#o-ha had confided thi! !ecret to hi! 'other. +hi! tender friend3 who had o0ened hi! !ou% to the o#! a! if the# had een hi! eCua%!3 wa! at the !a'e ti'e an o%d !ea<wo%f and revo%utionar#3 a true hero3 %ike tho!e of the 'o!t 'arve%%ou! fair#<ta%e!. *ou%d it rea%%# e true that the "arkin who3 in the a!e'ent of the 'ini!tr#3 had taught the' how to u!e revo%ver and gun wa! now deadE In the !i%ence of the night3 two %itt%e odie! !hook under their %anket! after the %ack new! ca'e. On%# their 'other heard their di!con!o%ate !o !. =ife wa! a whir% of 'a!! 'eeting!. 5hen I arrived in Petrograd3 I found a%% the revo%utionar# orator! either hoar!e or voice%e!!. +he revo%ution of 1925 had taught 'e to guard '# voice with care3 and thank! to thi!3 I wa! hard%# ever out of the rank!. "eeting! were he%d in 0%ant!3 !choo%!3 and co%%ege!3 in theatre!3 circu!e!3 !treet!3 and !Cuare!. I u!ua%%# reached ho'e e/hau!ted after 'idnightD ha%f<a!%ee0 I wou%d di!cover the e!t argu'ent! again!t '# o00onent!3 and a out !even in the 'orning3 or !o'eti'e! even ear%ier3 I wou%d e 0u%%ed 0ainfu%%# fro' '# ed # the hatefu%3 into%era %e knocking on the door3 ca%%ing 'e to a 'eeting in Peterhof3 or to go to Kron!tadt on a tug !ent for 'e # the nav# o#! there. Each ti'e it wou%d !ee' to 'e a! if I cou%d never get through thi! new 'eeting3 ut !o'e hidden re!erve of nervou! energ# wou%d co'e to the !urface3 and I wou%d !0eak for an hour3 !o'eti'e! two3 whi%e de%egation! fro' other 0%ant! or di!trict!3 !urrounding 'e in a c%o!e ring3 wou%d te%% 'e that thou!and! of worker! in three or 0erha0! five different 0%ace! had een waiting for 'e for hour! on end. Aow 0atient%# that awakening 'a!! wa! waiting for the new word in tho!e da#!J +he 'a!! 'eeting! in the "odern *ircu! were for 'e Cuite !0ecia%. "# o00onent! %ikewi!e con!idered the' !o3 ut in a different %ight. +he# regarded the circu! a! '# 0articu%ar fortre!!3 and never even atte'0ted to !0eak in it. )ut whenever I attacked the conci%iationi!t! in the $oviet3 I wa! interru0ted # itter !hout!& 9+hi! i! not #our "odern *ircu!.? It eca'e Cuite a refrain. I u!ua%%# !0oke in the *ircu! in the evening3 !o'eti'e! Cuite %ate at night. "# audience wa! co'0o!ed of worker!3 !o%dier!3 hard<working 'other!3 !treet urchin! B the o00re!!ed under<dog! of the ca0ita%. Ever# !Cuare inch wa! fi%%ed3 ever# hu'an od# co'0re!!ed to it! %i'it. Young o#! !at on their father!> !hou%der!D infant! were at their 'other!> rea!t!. No one !'oked. +he a%conie! threatened to fa%% under the e/ce!!ive weight of hu'an odie!. I 'ade '# wa# to the 0%atfor' through a narrow hu'an trench3 !o'eti'e! I wa! orne overhead. +he air3 inten!e with reathing and waiting3 fair%# e/0%oded with !hout! and with the 0a!!ionate #e%%! 0ecu%iar to the

"odern *ircu!. 1 ove and around 'e wa! a 0re!! of e% ow!3 che!t!3 and head!. I !0oke fro' out of a war' cavern of hu'an odie!D whenever I !tretched out '# hand! I wou%d touch !o'e one3 and a gratefu% 'ove'ent in re!0on!e wou%d give 'e to under!tand that I wa! not to worr# a out it3 not to reak off '# !0eech3 ut kee0 on. No !0eaker3 no 'atter how e/hau!ted3 cou%d re!i!t the e%ectric ten!ion of that i'0a!!ioned hu'an throng. +he# wanted to know3 to under!tand3 to find their wa#. 1t ti'e! it !ee'ed a! if I fe%t3 with '# %i0!3 the !tern inCui!itivene!! of thi! crowd that had eco'e 'erged into a !ing%e who%e. +hen a%% the argu'ent! and word! thought out in advance wou%d reak and recede under the i'0erative 0re!!ure of !#'0ath#3 and other word!3 other argu'ent!3 utter%# une/0ected # the orator ut needed # the!e 0eo0%e3 wou%d e'erge in fu%% arra# fro' '# !u con!ciou!ne!!. On !uch occa!ion! I fe%t a! if I were %i!tening to the !0eaker fro' the out!ide3 tr#ing to kee0 0ace with hi! idea!3 afraid that3 %ike a !o'na' u%i!t3 he 'ight fa%% off the edge of the roof at the !ound of '# con!ciou! rea!oning. $uch wa! the "odern *ircu!. It had it! own contour!3 fier#3 tender3 and fren-ied. +he infant! were 0eacefu%%# !ucking the rea!t! fro' which a00roving or threatening !hout! were co'ing. +he who%e crowd wa! %ike that3 %ike infant! c%inging with their dr# %i0! to the ni00%e! of the revo%ution. )ut thi! infant 'atured Cuick%#. =eaving the "odern *ircu! wa! even 'ore difficu%t than entering it. +he crowd wa! unwi%%ing to reak u0 it! new<found unit#D it wou%d refu!e to di!0er!e. In a !e'i<con!ciou!ne!! of e/hau!tion3 I had to f%oat on count%e!! ar'! a ove the head! of the 0eo0%e3 to reach the e/it. $o'eti'e! I wou%d recogni-e a'ong the' the face! of '# two daughter!3 who %ived near # with their 'other. +he e%der wa! !i/teen3 the #ounger fifteen. I wou%d are%# 'anage to eckon to the'3 in an!wer to their e/cited g%ance!3 or to 0re!! their war' hand! on the wa# out3 efore the crowd wou%d !e0arate u! again. 5hen I found '#!e%f out!ide the gate3 the *ircu! fo%%owed 'e. +he !treet eca'e a%ive with !hout! and the tra'0ing of feet. +hen !o'e gate wou%d o0en3 !uck 'e in3 and c%o!e after 'e. +hi! wou%d e the doing of '# friend!3 who 0u!hed 'e into the 0a%ace of the dancer K!e!hin!ka#a3 a 0a%ace ui%t for her # *-ar Nicho%a!. +here the genera% !taff of the )o%!hevik! had fir'%# intrenched it!e%f3 and 'en in gra# !o%dier!> coat! !at on the !i%k< u0ho%!tered furniture or tra'0ed the %ong<un0o%i!hed f%oor! in their heav# oot!. One cou%d wait there unti% the crowd c%eared awa#3 and then go out again. 5a%king in the dark a%ong the de!erted !treet! after the 'eeting3 I caught the !ound of foot!te0! ehind 'e. +he !a'e thing had ha00ened the night efore3 and a! it now !ee'ed3 the night efore that. 5ith '# hand on '# )rowning3 I turned !har0%# and wa%ked ack a few !te0!. 95hat do #ou wantE? I a!k !tern%#. I !aw a #oung3 devoted face efore 'e. 91%%ow 'e to 0rotect #ou. $o'e of tho!e who co'e to the *ircu! are ene'ie!.? It wa! the !tudent Po-nan!k#. Fro' then on he wa! a%wa#! with 'e. +hrough a%% the #ear! of the revo%ution3 he wa! attached to 'e for !0ecia% 'i!!ion!3 of var#ing !ort! ut a%wa#! invo%ving great re!0on!i i%it#. Ae guarded '# 0er!ona% !afet#3 organi-ed !ecretaria% he%0 during 'i%itar# ca'0aign!3 !ought out forgotten war !tore!3 got the nece!!ar# ook!3 ui%t fighting !Cuadron! out of nothing3 fought at the front hi' !e%f3 and %ater on in the rank! of the o00o!ition. Ae i! now in e/i%e. I ho0e that the future wi%% ring u! together again.

On 8ece' er 33 when I wa! !0eaking efore the audience of the "odern *ircu!3 I 'ade a re0ort on the work of the $oviet govern'ent. I e/0%ained the !ignificance of our 0u %i!hing the di0%o'atic corre!0ondence of *-ari!' and Keren!k#. I to%d '# faithfu% %i!tener! how3 in re0%# to '# a!!ertion that the 0eo0%e cannot !hed their %ood for agree'ent! which the# do not conc%ude3 do not read3 and do not !ee3 the conci%iationi!t! in the $oviet had cried out to 'e& 98on>t !0eak to u! in thi! %anguage. +hi! i! not #our "odern *ircu!.? 1nd I re0eated '# an!wer to the conci%iationi!t!& 9I know on%# one tongue3 one revo%utionar# %anguage. I !0eak it to the 0eo0%e at their 'eeting!3 and I !ha%% !0eak it to the 1%%ie! and the 4er'an!.? +he new!0a0er re0ort of thi! !0eech record! 0ro%onged a00%au!e at thi! 0oint. "# connection with the "odern *ircu! ended on%# in Fe ruar#3 when I went to "o!cow.

'otes
1. +he $ocia%i!t<,evo%utioni!t Part# re0re!ented the %eft wing of the Po0u%i!t 'ove'ent. It differed fro' the $ocia%<8e'ocrat! and the "ar/i!t! in genera% in it! in!i!tence on the identit# of the intere!t! of the 0ro%etariat and the 0ea!antr#3 and in it! u!e of terrori!t 'ethod! again!t the *-ari!t govern'ent. B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <<V

%&'%(!'0'7 )LA'D(!(!)
5hen I arrived in Petrograd in the ear%# 0art of "a#3 191;3 the ca'0aign a out the 9!ea%ed car? in which =enin had 'ade hi! wa# through 4er'an# wa! in fu%% %a!t. +he new $ocia%i!t 'ini!ter! were in a%%iance with =%o#d 4eorge3 who had refu!ed to %et =enin 0a!! into ,u!!ia. 1nd the !a'e gent%e'en were hounding =enin for 0a!!ing through 4er'an#. "# own e/0erience on the return @ourne# !u00%e'ented =enin>! e/0erience with a 0roof fro' the contrar#. )ut that didn>t !ave 'e fro' eing 'ade the utt of the !a'e !%ander. )uchanan wa! the fir!t to !et the a%% ro%%ing. In an o0en %etter to the 'ini!ter of foreign affair! (in "a#3 it wa! no %onger "i%iukoff3 ut +er#e!chenko) I de!cri ed '# 1t%antic Od#!!e#. "# argu'ent cu%'inated in thi! Cue!tion& 98o #ou3 "r. "ini!ter3 con!ider it in order that Eng%and !hou%d e re0re!ented # a 'an who ha! di!graced hi'!e%f # !uch !ha'e%e!! ca%u'n# and who ha! not 'oved a finger to reha i%itate hi'!e%fE? +here wa! no an!wer3 nor did I e/0ect one. )ut "i%iukoff>! 0a0er !te00ed in to defend the a' a!!ador of an a%%#3 and re0eated the charge on it! own eha%f. I decided to rand the

ca%u'niator! a! !o%e'n%# a! I cou%d. +he fir!t a%%<,u!!ian congre!! of $oviet! wa! then in !e!!ion. On 7une 53 the ha%% wa! fu%% to the ri'. 1t the do!e of the 'eeting I ro!e to 'ake a 0er!ona% !tate'ent. 4ork#>! 0a0er3 which wa! ho!ti%e to the )o%!hevik!3 ne/t da# re0orted '# conc%uding word! and the !cene a! a who%e a! fo%%ow!& 9P"i%iukoff charge! u! with eing hired agent! of the 4er'an govern'ent. Fro' thi! tri una% of the revo%utionar# de'ocrac#3 I a!k the hone!t ,u!!ian 0re!! L+rot!k# here turn! to the 0re!! ta %eM to re0roduce '# e/act word!& Hnti% "i%iukoff with draw! hi! accu!ation3 the rand of a di!honora %e !%anderer wi%% re'ain on hi! forehead.>? 9+rot!k#>! !tate'ent3? the re0ort continue!3 9uttered with force and dignit#3 wa! received with a unani'ou! ovation fro' the entire gathering. +he who%e congre!!3 without di!tinction of faction3 a00%auded !tor'i%# for !evera% 'inute!.? 1nd nine<tenth! of the congre!! were our o00onent!. )ut thi! !ucce!!3 a! !u !eCuent event! 0roved3 wa! f%eeting. It wa! one of the 0arado/e! 0ecu%iar to 0ar%ia'entari!'. Ne/t da# the !e+h (The )2ee+h) tried to 0ick u0 the g%ove # 0u %i!hing the !tate'ent that the 4er'an 0atriotic ;erein in New York had given 'e [123222 to overthrow the Provi!iona% govern'ent. +hi! at %ea!t wa! 0%ain !0eaking. I 'u!t e/0%ain that two da#! efore I %eft for Euro0e3 the 4er'an worker! in New York3 to who' I had %ectured 'an# ti'e!3 together with '# 1'erican3 ,u!!ian3 =etti!h3 7ewi!h3 =ithuanian3 and Finni!h friend! and fo%%ower!3 had given 'e a farewe%% 'eeting at which a co%%ection wa! taken u0 for the ,u!!ian revo%ution. +he !u' co%%ected a'ounted to [3123 of which [122 wa! contri uted # the 4er'an worker! through their chair'an at the 'eeting. On the fo%%owing da#3 with the con!ent of tho!e who organi-ed the 'eeting3 I di!tri uted the [312 a'ong five e'igrant! who were returning to ,u!!ia and were !hort of 'one# for the tri0. +hat wa! the hi!tor# of the [123222. I recounted it at the ti'e in 4ork#>! 0a0er3 the No(aya Bhi7n (7une I;)3 ending the artic%e with thi! 'ora%& 9+o 0rovide the nece!!ar# corrective for future occa!ion!3 I fee% that it i! 0ertinent for 'e to !tate3 for the enefit of %iar!3 !%anderer!3 Kadet L1M re0orter! and %ackguard! in genera%3 that in '# entire %ife I have not on%# never had at '# di!0o!a%3 at one ti'e3 [1232223 ut even a tenth of that !u'. $uch a confe!!ion3 I a' afraid3 'a# ruin '# re0utation a'ong the Kadet 0u %ic 'ore co'0%ete%# than a%% the in!inuation! of ". "i%iukoff3 ut I have %ong !ince eco'e reconci%ed to the thought of %iving without the a00rova% of the %i era% ourgeoi!.? 1fter thi!3 the !%anderou! ta%e! died down. I !u''ed u0 the who%e ca'0aign in a 0a'0h%et3 To the )landerers3 and !ent it to the 0rinter!. 1 week %ater3 the 7u%# da#! were u0on u!3 and on the I3rd of 7u%# I wa! i'0ri!oned # the Provi!iona% govern'ent on the charge of eing in the !ervice of the 4er'an Kai!er. +he inve!tigation wa! in the hand! of 0ractitioner! of @u!tice !ea!oned under the regi'e of the *-ar. +he# were unaccu!to'ed to treating fact! or argu'ent! hone!t%#. +hi! wa! a tur u%ent ti'e3 too. 5hen I %earned what the 0ro!ecution>! 'ateria% wa!3 I wa! !o a'u!ed at it! he%0%e!! !tu0idit# that it took the edge off '# wrath at the vi%%ain# of the accu!ation it!e%f. I wrote in the record of the 0re%i'inar# inve!tigation of $e0te' er 1& 9In view of the fact that the ver# fir!t docu'ent 0roduced (the de0o!ition of cor0ora% Yer'o%#enko3 which !o far ha! 0%a#ed the %eading ro%e in the 0er!ecution of '# 0art# and 'e3 a

0er!ecution undertaken with the aid of 'e' er! of the 8e0art'ent of 7u!tice) i! unCue!tiona %# a 0ur0o!e%# fa ricated docu'ent3 not intended to c%ear u0 the ca!e3 ut 'a%iciou!%# to c%oud thing! overD in view a%!o of the fact that ". 1%e/androv3 the court<e/a'iner3 ha! wi%fu%%# ignored the 'o!t i'0ortant Cue!tion! and circu'!tance! concerning thi! docu'ent3 the e/a'ination of which wou%d inevita %# e/0o!e the fa%!it# of the evidence !u 'itted # Yer'o%#enko3 a 0er!on who' I do not knowD in view of a%% thi!3 I con!ider it 'ora%%# and 0o%itica%%# de a!ing for 'e to take an# 0art in the 0rocedure of inve!tigation3 whi%e I re!erve the right to e/0o!e the true 'eaning of the accu!ation efore the 0u %ic # ever# 'ean! at '# di!0o!a%.? +he accu!ation wa! !oon %o!t in the %arger event! that !wa%%owed u0 not on%# the inve!tigator! ut a%% of o%d ,u!!ia3 with her 9new? heroe!3 %ike Keren!k#. I did not think that I !hou%d have to return to thi! !u @ect. )ut there i! a writer who in 19IG 0icked u0 and !u00orted the o%d !%ander. Ai! na'e i! Keren!k#. In 19IG3 e%even #ear! after the revo%utionar# ha00ening! that %ifted hi' !o !udden%# to the cre!t and wa!hed hi' a! inevita %# awa#3 Keren!k# a!!ured u! that =enin and other )o%!hevik! were agent! of the 4er'an govern'ent3 were connected with the 4er'an genera% !taff3 were receiving !u'! of 'one# fro' it3 and were carr#ing out it! !ecret in!truction! with a view to ringing a out the defeat of the ,u!!ian ar'# and the di!'e' er'ent of the ,u!!ian !tate. +hi! i! a%% to%d in great detai% in hi! a'u!ing ook3 LIM I had for'ed a 0rett# dear idea of Keren!k#>! inte%%ectua% and 'ora% !tature fro' the event! of 191;3 ut I never wou%d have thought it 0o!!i %e that at thi! ti'e3 after a%% that ha! ha00ened3 he cou%d have the audacit# to re0eat the accu!ation. )ut that i! e/act%# what he did. Ae write!& 9=enin>! etra#a% of ,u!!ia3 at the 'o!t crucia% 'o'ent in the war3 i! an indubitable, established historical %act.? 5ho3 then3 !u00%ied the!e indu ita %e 0roof!3 and whenE Keren!k# !tart! off with a 0retentiou! !tor# a out how the 4er'an genera% !taff recruited candidate! for it! e!0ionage a'ong the ,u!!ian 0ri!oner! of war and !hoved the' into the ,u!!ian ar'ie!. One of the!e !0ie!3 either actua% or !e%f<con!tituted (often the# the'!e%ve! did not know)3 0re!ented hi'!e%f to Keren!k# to te%% hi' of the entire e!0ionage !#!te'. )ut3 re'ark! Keren!k# with a 'e%ancho%# air3 9the!e di!c%o!ure! had no 0articu%ar i'0ortance.? Preci!e%#. Even fro' hi! own account one can !ee that !o'e 0ett# adventurer tried to %ead hi' # the no!e. 8id thi! e0i!ode have an# re%ation to =enin or to the )o%!hevik! in genera%E None what!oever. +he e0i!ode3 a! Keren!k# hi'!e%f ad'it!3 had no 0articu%ar i'0ortance. +hen wh# doe! he te%% itE On%# ecau!e he want! to fi%% in hi! narrative and 'ake hi! further di!c%o!ure! a00ear 'ore i'0ortant. =ike hi! infor'er3 Keren!k# !i'0%# want! to %ead the reader # the no!e. Ye!3 he !a#!3 the fir!t ca!e had no i'0ortance3 ut then3 fro' another !ource3 the# received infor'ation of 9great va%ue3? and that infor'ation 9pro(ed beyond the possibility o% a doubt that the )o%!hevik! were in contact with the 4er'an genera% !taff.? P%ea!e note that 9 e#ond the 0o!!i i%it# of a dou t.? Ne/t fo%%ow!& 9+he wa#! and 'ean!3 too3 # which thi! contact wa! 'aintained3 cou%d e e!ta %i!hed.? Could e e!ta %i!hedE +hi! !ound! eCuivoca%. 5ere the# e!ta %i!hedE 5e wi%% know 0re!ent%#. =et u! e 0atient& it took e%even #ear! for the di!c%o!ure to ri0en in the de0th! of it! creator>! !ou%.

9In 10ri%3 a Hkrainian officer # the na'e of Yar'o%#enko ca'e to 4enera% 1%e/e#ev at AeadCuarter!.? 5e had heard thi! na'e. Ae i! the deci!ive figure in a%% thi! u!ine!!. One note! too that Keren!k# cannot e e/act even when he ha! no intere!t in eing ine/act. +he na'e of the 0ett# rogue who' he ring! out on the !tage i! not 9Yar'o%#enko3? ut 9Yer'o%#enko.? L3M +hi!3 at %ea!t3 wa! the na'e under which he wa! %i!ted # "r. Keren!k#>! court inve!tigator!. 1nd !o3 cor0ora% Yer'o%#enko (Keren!k# refer! to hi' a! 9officer? with intentiona% vaguene!!) 0re!ented hi'!e%f at headCuarter! a! a 0retended 4er'an agent3 to e/0o!e the rea% 4er'an agent!. +he evidence given # thi! great 0atriot3 who' even the ourgeoi! 0re!! B itter%# ho!ti%e to the )o%!hevik! B wa! !oon o %iged to characteri-e a! a dark and !u!0iciou! 0er!on3 0roved conc%u!ive%#3 once and for a%%3 that =enin wa! not one of hi!tor#>! greate!t figure!3 ut on%# a 0aid agent of =udendorff>!. Aow did cor0ora% Yer'o%#enko di!cover thi! !ecret3 and what 0roof! did he !u 'it to ca0tivate Keren!k#E Yer'o%#enko3 according to hi! !tate'ent3 had received in!truction! fro' the 4er'an !taff to carr# on !e0arati!t 0ro0aganda in the Hkraine. 9Ae wa! given3? Keren!k# re%ate!3 9a%% (J) the nece!!ar# infor'ation regarding the wa#! and 'ean! of 'aintaining contact with the directing (J) 4er'an re0re!entative!3 regarding the ank! (J) through which the nece!!ar# fund! had een forwarded3 and the na'e! of the 'ore i'0ortant agent!3 which inc%uded !evera% Hkrainian !e0arati!t! and =enin.? 1%% thi! i! 0rinted word for word on 0age! I95<I9Q of the great opus. Now we at %ea!t know how the 4er'an genera% !taff ehaved toward it! !0ie!. 5hen it found an unknown and !e'i<%iterate cor0ora% a! a candidate for e!0ionage work3 it did not 0ut hi' under the o !ervation of a @unior officer of the 4er'an inte%%igence !ervice3 ut connected hi' with the 9directing 4er'an re0re!entative!3? acCuainted hi' at once with the entire network of 4er'an agent! and even gave hi' the %i!t of ank! B not one3 ut a%% the ank! B through which it forwarded it! !ecret 4er'an fund!. $a# what #ou wi%%3 #ou cannot di!0e% the i'0re!!ion that the 4er'an !taff acted with arrant !tu0idit#. +hi! i'0re!!ion i! the re!u%t3 however3 of our !eeing the 4er'an !taff not a! it rea%%# wa!3 ut a! 0ictured # 9"a/ and "orit-3? the two cor0ora%! B the 'i%itar# cor0ora% Yer'o%#enko and the 0o%itica% cor0ora% Keren!k#. )ut3 in !0ite of hi! eing unknown3 uninte%%igent3 and %ow in rank3 cou%d Yer'o%#enko 0erha0! have he%d !o'e high 0o!t in the 4er'an e!0ionage !#!te'E Keren!k# wou%d %ike to 'ake u! think !o. )ut we ha00en to know not on%# Keren!k#>! ook ut hi! !ource! a! we%%. Yer'o%#enko hi'!e%f i! !i'0%er than Keren!k#. In hi! evidence3 given in the tone of a !tu0id %itt%e adventurer3 Yer'o%#enko hi'!e%f Cuote! hi! 0rice& +he 4er'an genera% !taff gave hi' e/act%# 13522 rou %e! B the high%# de0reciated rou %e! of that ti'e B for a%% the e/0en!e! incurred in arranging for the !ece!!ion of the Hkraine and Keren!k#>! overthrow. Ae candid%# add! in hi! evidence (it ha! now een 0u %i!hed) that he had co'0%ained itter%# ut in vain a out the !tingine!! of the 4er'an!. 95h# !o %itt%eE? 0rote!ted Yer'o%#enko3 ut the 9directing 0er!onage!? were deaf to a%% hi! 0%ea!. Yer'o%#enko doe! not te%% u!3 however3 whether he conducted hi! negotiation! with =udendorif3 Ainden urg3 the *rown Prince3 or the Kai!er hi'!e%f. Ae !tu orn%# refrain! fro' na'ing the 9directing? gent%e'en who had given hi' hi! 13522 rou %e! for the reaking u0 of ,u!!ia3 trave%%ing e/0en!e!3 to acco3 and %iCuor. 5e venture the h#0othe!i! that the 'one# wa! !0ent 'o!t%# on %iCuor3 and that after the 4er'an fund! had 'e%ted fro' the cor0ora%>! 0ocket!3 without re!orting to the ank! of which he had een to%d in )er%in3 he rave%# 0re!ented hi' !e%f at the headCuarter! of the ,u!!ian genera% !taff to find

further 0atriotic he%0. It i! Cuite 0ro a %e that on hi! wa# there he wa! 0icked u0 # !o'e officer of the ,u!!ian inte%%igence !ervice engaged in hounding out )o%!hevik!3 and it wa! fro' @u!t !uch an officer that he 0ro a %# got hi! in!0iration. 1! a re!u%t3 two view! of %ife3 !o to !0eak3 were %odged in the cor0ora%>! inca0aciou! head& on the one hand3 he cou%d not !u00re!! hi! !en!e of in@ur# again!t the 4er'an %ieutenant who had thrown down 13522 rou %e! and not a ko0eck 'oreD on the other3 he did not dare forget that he had een initiated # the 9directing 4er'an re0re!entative!? into the who%e 4er'an e!0ionage !#!te'3 inc%uding a%% it! agent! and ank!. 1nd who were the 9!evera% Hkrainian !e0arati!t!? who' Yer'o%#enko di!c%o!ed to Keren!k#E Keren!k#>! ook !a#! nothing a out thi!. +o give additiona% weight to !o'e of Yern'%#enko>! !orr# %ie!3 Keren!k# !i'0%# add! a few of hi! own. 1ccording to hi! te!ti'on#3 the on%# !e0arati!t Yer'o%#enko 'entioned wa! $koro0i!<Io%tukhovk!#. )ut Keren!k# i! !i%ent a out thi! na'e3 ecau!e hi! ver# 'ention of it wou%d have co'0e%%ed hi' to ad'it that Yer'o%#enko had no di!c%o!ure! to 'ake. +he na'e of Io%tukhovk!# wa! no !ecret to an# one. 8uring the war3 the 0a0er! had 'entioned it !evera% ti'e!. 1nd he hi'!e%f did not tr# to concea% hi! connection with the 4er'an genera% !taff. In the Pari! 'ashe )lo o3 a! ear%# a! the c%o!e of 191T3 I had randed that !'a%% grou0 of Hkrainian !e0arati!t! who a!!ociated the' !e%ve! with the 4er'an 'i%itar# authoritie!. I na'ed a%% of the'3 inc%uding Io%tukhovk!#. )ut we are a%!o to%d that Yer'o%#enko had 'entioned not on%# 9!evera% Hkrainian !e0arati!t!3? ut =enin a! we%%. 5h# !e0arati!t! were 'entioned3 one can 0erha0! under!tandD Yer'o%#enko hi'!e%f wa! eing !ent for !e0arati!t 0ro0aganda. )ut wh# 'ention =enin to hi'E Keren!k# doe! not an!wer thatD and it i! not through over!ight3 either. Yer'o%#enko drag! the na'e of =enin in !en!e%e!!%# and without an# connection. +he 'an who in!0ired Keren!k# te%%! how he wa! recruited a! a 0aid 4er'an !0# with 90atriotic? ai'!D how he de'anded an increa!e in hi! 9!ecret fund!? (13522 war rou %e!)D how he wa! infor'ed of hi! future dutie!3 !uch a! e!0ionage3 %owing u0 ridge!3 etc. +hen3 according to hi! te!ti'on#3 B and a%% thi! ha! nothing at a%% to do with the !tor# he ha! @u!t een te%%ing B he wa! to%d ( # who'E) that he wou%d e working in ,u!!ia ut 9not a%one?D that 9=enin and hi! fo%%ower! were working in the !a'e (J) direction there.? +hi! i! the ver ati' te/t of hi! de0o!ition. It !ee'! that a 0ett# agent engaged in %owing u0 ridge! i! initiated3 for no 0ractica% rea!on3 into !uch a !ecret a! the re%ation!hi0 etween =enin and =udendorFf. Yer'o%#enko !udden%# add! at the end of hi! evidence3 !ti%% with no a00arent connection with the re!t of the ta%e3 ut o viou!%# at the crude 0ro'0ting of !o'e other 0er!on& 9I wa! to%d L # who'EM that =enin took 0art in conference! in )er%in (with the re0re!entative! of the 4er'an genera% !taff) and that he !ta#ed at the ho'e of $koro0i!<Io%tukhov!k#3 as & later learned %or #ysel%.? 1nd that>! a%%. Not a word to e/0%ain how he had found out. +he court e/a'iner3 1%e/androv3 !howed not the !%ighte!t intere!t in thi! !ing%e 9factua%? it of Yer'o%#enko>! te!ti'on#. Ae did not a!k hi' the 0%aine!t Cue!tion a! to how the cor0ora% found out that =enin wa! in )er%in during the war and that he had !ta#ed with $koro0i!<Io%tukhov!k#. Or 0erha0! 1%e/androv did a!k thi! Cue!tion B he cou%d hard%# he%0 a!king it B ut3 receiving an an!wer a! inarticu%ate a! a cow>! 'oo3 decided not to kee0 the e0i!ode on record at a%%. Pro a %#J 1re we not entit%ed to a!k a out thi! cock<and< u%% !tor#& what foo% wi%% e%ieve itE )ut it !ee'! there are !o<ca%%ed !tate!'en who 0retend that the# e%ieve it and invite their reader! to e%ieve it3 too.

1nd i! that a%%E It i!. +he 'i%itar# cor0ora% ha! nothing 'ore to !a#. +he 0o%itica% cor0ora% ha! on%# h#0othe!e! and gue!!e!. 5e wi%% fo%%ow hi'. 9+he Provi!iona% govern'ent3? Keren!k# re%ate!3 9!aw it!e%f confronted with a difficu%t 0ro %e' B that of further inve!tigating the thread! indicated # Yer'o%#enko3 fo%%owing on the hee%! of the agent! who were going ack and forth etween =enin and =udendorff3 and catching the' red<handed with the 'o!t incri'inating 'ateria%.? +hi! high<!ounding !entence i! woven of two thread!& fa%!ehood and cowardice. +hi! i! the fir!t ti'e the na'e of =udendorff i! introduced. Yer'o%#enko doe! not 'ention a !ing%e 4er'an na'e& the cor0ora%>! head wa! re'arka %e for it! !'a%% ca0acit#. Keren!k# !0eak! with !tudied a' iguou!ne!! of the agent! who went to and fro etween =enin and =udendorff. On the one hand3 it !ound! a! if the reference i! to definite3 a%read# known agent! who had on%# to e caught red<handedD on the other3 it %ook! a! if Keren!k# !i'0%# had a 0%atonic idea of agent!. If he intended to 9fo%%ow on their hee%!3? hi! 0ro %e' wa! that of fo%%owing unknown3 anon#'ou!3 tran!cendenta% hee%!. )# hi! ver a% artifice!3 he on%# di!c%o!e! hi! own 1chi%%e!> hee%3 or3 to 0ut it in %e!! c%a!!ica% %anguage3 hi! own 9a!!>! hoof.? 1ccording to Keren!k#3 the inve!tigation wa! conducted !o !ecret%# that no one ut four 'ini!ter! knew an#thing a out it. Even the 0oor 'ini!ter of @u!tice3 Perev#er-ev3 wa! not infor'ed of it. +hat i! the 'eaning of a rea%%# 9!tate!'an%ike? a00roachJ 1t a ti'e when the 4er'an genera% !taff wa! di!c%o!ing to ever# +o'3 8ick and Aarr# not on%# the na'e! of it! tru!ted ank!3 ut even it! connection with the %eader! of the greate!t revo%utionar# 0art#3 Keren!k# wa! doing the e/act o00o!iteD a!ide fro' hi'!e%f3 he cou%d find on%# three 'ini!ter! ca!e<hardened enough to fo%%ow on the hee%! of =udendorff>! agent!. 9+he ta!k wa! ver# difficu%t3 co'0%icated and %ong drawn out3? i! Keren!k#>! 0%aint. 5e are read# to e%ieve that. )ut fina%%# hi! 0atriotic effort! were crowned with !ucce!!. Keren!k# !a#! it in !o 'an# word!& 9Our !ucce!!3 at an# rate3 wa! !i'0%# an annihi%ating for =enin. Ai! connection with 4er'an# wa! e!ta %i!hed unCue!tiona %#.? =et u! re'e' er that 9e!ta %i!hed unCue!tiona %#.? Aow and # who'E It i! at thi! 0oint in hi! cri'e nove% that Keren!k# introduce! two we%%<known Po%i!h revo%utionarie!3 4anet!k# and Ko-%ov!k#3 and a certain "ada'e $u'en!on3 of who' no one cou%d give an# infor'ation and who!e ver# e/i!tence ha! not #et een 0roved. +he!e three3 it i! a%%eged3 were the contact agent! in Cue!tion. 5hat are Keren!k#>! ground! for re0re!enting the now defunct Ko-%ov!k#3 and 4anet!k#3 who i! !ti%% a%ive3 a! inter'ediarie! etween =udendorff and =eninE No infor'ation i! given. Yer'o%#enko did not even 'ention the!e na'e!. +he# cro0 u0 in Keren!k#>! 0age! @u!t a! the# cro00ed u0 in the new!0a0er 0age! of the 7u%# da#! of 191;3 a! !udden%# a! deus e8 #achina3 with the *-ari!t inte%%igence !ervice 0%a#ing the 0art of the 'achine. Aere i! Keren!k#>! !tor#& 9+he )o%!hevik 4er'an agent fro' $tockho%'3 who wa! carr#ing with hi' docu'ent! which 0roved incontroverti %# the connection etween =enin and the 4er'an high co''and3 wa! to e arre!ted on the ,u!!o<$wedi!h order. +he docu'ent! were known to u!3 e/act%#.?

+hi! agent3 it tran!0ire!3 wa! 4anet!k#. 5e !ee that the four 'ini!ter!3 of who' the 0ri'e 'ini!ter wa! natura%%# the wi!e!t3 did not work in vain& the )o%!hevik agent fro' $tockho%' wa! carr#ing with hi' docu'ent! that were known eforehand (9known e/act%#?) to Keren!k# B docu'ent! containing incontroverti %e 0roof that =enin wa! the agent for =udendorff. )ut wh# doe!n>t Keren!k# %et u! !hare hi! !ecret know%edge of the!e docu'ent!E 5h# doe!n>t he throw !o'e %ight3 if on%# in a few word!3 on what the# were a outE 5h# doe!n>t he !a#3 or even inti'ate3 how he %earned of the content! of the!e docu'ent!E 5h# doe!n>t he e/0%ain what the idea of the )o%!hevik agent wa! in carr#ing docu'ent! that 0roved the )o%!hevik! to e agent! of 4er'an#E Keren!k# doe!n>t !a# a word a out a%% thi!. Once again3 'a# we not a!k& what foo% wi%% e%ieve hi'E )ut it turn! out that the $tockho%' agent wa! never actua%%# arre!ted. +he re'arka %e docu'ent!3 9known e/act%#? to Keren!k# in 191; ut !ti%% unknown to hi! reader! in 19IG3 were never ca0tured. +he )o%!hevik agent wa! 0roceeding toward the $wedi!h frontier3 ut he never reached it. 5h#E )ecau!e the 'ini!ter of @u!tice3 Perev#er-ev3 who cou%d not fo%%ow on hi! hee%!3 o%ted out cor0ora% Yer'o%#enko>! great !ecret too !oon. 1nd !ucce!! wa! !o near3 and !o ea!#J 9+he two 'onth!> work of the Provi!iona% govern'ent (chief%# of +er#e!chenko) directed toward the e/0o!ure of the )o%!hevik intrigue!3 ended in %ailure.? Ye!3 tho!e are Keren!k#>! e/act word!& 9ended in fai%ure.? On a 0reviou! 0age it wa! !aid that 9the !ucce!! of thi! work wa! !i'0%# annihi%ating for =enin?D hi! connection with =udendorff wa! 9incontroverti %# e!ta %i!hed?D and now we read that 9the two 'onth!> work ended in %ailure.? 8oe!n>t a%% of thi! !ee' %ike rather Cue!tiona %e c%owningE Yet de!0ite the fai%ure of the four 'ini!ter! who fo%%owed on the hee%! of the %egendar# "ada'e $u'en!on3 Keren!k# doe! not %o!e heart. Ae 0roud%# dec%are! of the connection of the )o%!hevik! with =udendorff& 9in co#plete consciousness o% #y responsibility be%ore history3 I can on%# re0eat the word! of the Pro!ecuting 1ttorne# of the Petrograd ,egiona% court.? +hi! i! hi! cu%'ination. It wa! thu! that he a00eared on the 0u %ic 0%at for' in 19I; to char' the ourgeoi! vo%unteer!3 the =eft %ieutenant!3 the gy#nasiu# !tudent! and the de'ocratic #oung %adie!& 9in co'0%ete con!ciou!ne!! of '# re!0on!i i%it# efore hi!tor#.? Aere he i!3 in hi! fu%% !tature3 the ini'ita %e 0o%itica% cor0ora%3 Narci!!u! Keren!k#. 1nd a few 0age! after thi! !o%e'n oath3 another dead%# confe!!ion& 95e3 the Provi!iona% govern'ent3 in thi! wa# %o!t forever (J) the 0o!!i i%it# of 0roving =enin>! trea!on deci!ive%#3 and on the a!i! of docu'entar# 'ateria%.? 9=o!t forever.? Of the who%e !tructure founded on Yer'o%#enko>! !hou%der!3 nothing i! %eft3 after a%%3 e/ce0t the word of honor efore hi!tor#. )ut even thi! i! not the end. Keren!k#>! fa%!ehood and cowardice revea% the'!e%ve! 0erha0! 'ore !triking%# than ever in hi! treat'ent of '# ca!e. *onc%uding hi! %i!t of 4er'an agent! who were to e arre!ted # hi! order!3 he 'ode!t%# re'ark!& 91 few da#! %ater +rot!k# and =unachar!k# were arre!ted.? +hat i! the on%# 0%ace where he inc%ude! 'e in the 4er'an e!0ionage !#!te'. Ae doe! it with !tudied vaguene!!3 with out an# e%ocutionar# ouCuet!3 and !aving hi! 9word! of honor.? +here i! rea!on enough for thi!. Keren!k# cannot avoid 'entioning 'e a%together3 ecau!e hi! govern'ent did arre!t 'e on the !a'e charge a! that 0referred again!t

=enin. )ut he doe! not want to B nor i! he a %e to B dwe%% on the evidence again!t 'e3 ecau!e in '# ca!e hi! govern'ent di!c%o!ed it! afore'entioned 9a!!>! hoof? in a ver# !0ectacu%ar wa#. +he on%# evidence again!t 'e that the court e/a'iner 1%e/androv 0roduced wa! the a%%egation that I together with =enin had 0a!!ed through 4er'an# in a !ea%ed car. +he o%d watchdog of *-ari!t @u!tice had not the gho!t of an idea that =enin>! co'0anion in the !ea%ed car wa! not I ut the %eader of the "en!hevik!3 "artovD wherea! I arrived a 'onth after =enin3 fro' New York3 trave%%ing # wa# of a *anadian concentration ca'0 and $candinavia. +he charge! again!t the )o%!hevik! were eing co'0i%ed # !uch !orr# and conte'0ti %e dea%er! in %ie! that the# did not even think it nece!!ar# to find out fro' the new!0a0er! when and # what route +rot!k# had co'e ack to ,u!!ia. I !howed the court e/a'iner u03 then and there. I f%ung hi! dirt# %itt%e 0a0er! in hi! face3 and turned '# ack on hi'. +hen I !ent a 0rote!t to the Provi!iona% govern'ent. Keren!k#>! cri'ina% gui%t toward hi! reader! i! a%% the 'ore o viou! in it! crudene!! on thi! 0oint. Ae know! how di!gracefu%%# hi! court @u!tice co%%a0!ed in it! charge! again!t 'e. 1nd that i! wh#3 a%though he inc%ude! 'e3 in 0a!!ing3 in the 4er'an e!0ionage !#!te'3 he doe! not !a# a word a out how he hi'!e%f and hi! three other 'ini!ter! had een fo%%owing on '# hee%! acro!! 4er'an#3 at the ti'e that I wa! in a concentration ca'0 in *anada. 9If =enin had not had the !u00ort of a%% the 'ateria% and technica% 0ower of the 4er'an 0ro0aganda a00aratu! and the e!0ionage !#!te'3? the !%anderer genera%i-e!3 9he wou%d never have !ucceeded in de!tro#ing ,u!!ia.? Keren!k# want! to e%ieve that the o%d regi'e (and he3 a%ong with it) wa! overthrown # 4er'an !0ie! rather than # the revo%utionar# 0eo0%e. Aow con!o%ing it 'u!t e to have a hi!torica% 0hi%o!o0h# that re0re!ent! the %ife of a great countr# a! a to# in the hand! of an organi-ation of !0ie! 'aintained # that countr#>! neigh or!J )ut if the 'i%itar# and technica% 0ower of 4er'an# wa! a %e to overthrow Keren!k#>! de'ocrac# in a few 'onth! and 0%ant )o%!hevi!' in it! 0%ace # artificia% 'ean!3 wh# ha! the 'ateria% and technica% a00aratu! of a%% the countrie! of the Entente fai%ed in twe%ve #ear! to overthrow thi! artificia%%# fo!tered )o%!hevi!'E )ut %et u! not e drawn into the rea%' of hi!torica% 0hi%o!o0h#D %et u! !tick to the wor%d of fact!. In what did the technica% and financia% a!!i!tance of 4er'an# actua%%# find e/0re!!ionE Keren!k# doe! not !a# a word a out that. In 191;3 the )o%!hevik! in Petrograd were 0u %i!hing a tin# new!0a0er3 %ike the one the# had 0u %i!hed in 191I3 efore the war. +he# were i!!uing hand i%%!. +he# had agitator!. In other word!3 we were a revo%utionar# 0art#. 5here3 then3 did the he%0 of the 4er'an e!0ionage !#!te' e/0re!! it!e%fE Of thi!3 too3 there i! no word in Keren!k#>! ook. )ut what cou%d one !a# of thi!3 an# wa#E 5e have e/a'ined Keren!k#>! evidence 9 efore hi!tor#3? !u0 0re!!ing our di!gu!t and re!orting to the !u00ort of a !aving iron# that i! !o'eti'e! a! nece!!ar# a! a %e'on in !ea!ickne!!. 5e have not ignored a !ing%e argu'ent or a !ing%e con!ideration3 in !0ite of the dou t that ke0t 0%aguing u! throughout thi! e/a'ination& whether it wa! genera%%# worth whi%e to rake u0 thi! gar age. =udendorff3 Ainden urg3 and 'an# other head! and worker! of the 4er'an !taff are !ti%% a%ive. +he# are a%% ene'ie! of the )o%!hevik!. 5hat 0revent! the' fro' giving awa# the o%d !ecretE In 4er'an#3 the 0ower i! now in the hand! of the $ocia% 8e'ocrac#3 which ha! acce!! to a%% the o%d archive!. If =udendorff did not hide hi! connection with =enin fro' Yer'o%#enko3 there are !ure%# 'an# 0eo0%e in 4er'an# who knew at %ea!t a! 'uch a! wa! confided to the ,u!!ian cor0ora%. 5h# do a%% the!e i'0%aca %e ene'ie! of the )o%!hevik! and the Octo er revo%ution kee0 !i%entE

It i! true that Keren!k# 'ention! =udendorffi>! 'e'oir!. )ut on%# one fact e'erge! fro' the!e 'e'oir!& =udendorif ho0ed that the revo%ution in ,u!!ia wou%d %ead to a di!integration of the ,u!!ian ar'# B fir!t the Fe ruar# revo%ution3 and %ater the Octo er one. No 'e'oir! were nece!!ar# to di!c%o!e thi! !che'e of hi!. +he fact that he a%%owed a grou0 of ,u!!ian revo%utionarie! to 0a!! through 4er'an# wa! enough. On =udendorff>! 0art3 thi! wa! an adventure dictated # the grave 'i%itar# !ituation in 4er'an#. =enin took advantage of =udendorff>! 0%an! to further there # hi! own. =udendorff wa! !a#ing to hi'!e%f& 9=enin wi%% overthrow the 0atriot!3 and then I wi%% !trang%e =enin and hi! friend!.? 1nd =enin wa! !a#ing to hi'!e%f& 9I !ha%% 0a!! through in =udendorff>! car3 ut for hi! !ervice I !ha%% 0a# hi' in '# own wa#.? No detective ta%ent! %ike Keren!k#>! were nece!!ar# to 0rove that two o00o!ing hi!torica% 0%an! cro!!ed each other>! 0ath! at a certain 0oint3 and that thi! 0oint wa! the 9!ea%ed car.? +he fact i! hi!tor#. $ince then3 hi!tor# ha! a%read# had ti'e to check u0 on oth reckoning!. On Octo er I5 (Nove' er ;)3 191;3 the )o%!hevik! !ei-ed 0ower. E/act%# a #ear %ater3 under the 'ight# inf%uence of the ,u!!ian revo%ution3 the revo%utionar# 'a!!e! of 4er'an# overthrew =udendorff and hi! 'a!ter!. 1nd ten #ear! after that3 the de'ocratic Narci!!u! who!e fee%ing! hi!tor# had hurt tried to give fre!h %ife to a !tu0id ca%u'n# B not again!t =enin3 ut again!t a great nation and it! revo%ution.

'otes
1. +he *on!titutiona%<8e'ocratic Part#3 founded # Prof. "i%iukoff3 i! known co%%oCuia%%# a! the 9Kadet? 0art# (after the fir!t %etter!3 K<8) and it! 'e' er! a! the 9Kadet!.? In ,u!!ian u!age the ter' i! a%'o!t !#non#'ou! with 9%i era%.? B Trans. I. +he Cuotation! in the a ove te/t are tran!%ated direct%# fro' the ,u!!ian edition of Keren!k#>! ook3 and the 0age! cited refer to that edition. 1n Eng%i!h tran!%ation i! 0u %i!hed in New York # 8. 100%eton \ *o. under the tit%e of 9+he *ata!tro0he.? In that tran!%ation the 0a!!age! di!cu!!ed wi%% e found on 00.II9<I33 and with e!0ecia% e'0ha!i! on 0age! I92<312. B Trans. 3. In ,u!!ian3 the di0hthong! 9#a? and 9#e? are re0re!ented # two different character!& 9]? and 9^3? re!0ective%#. B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <<V0

F!&M B6L4 T& &%T&8(!

On 7une T3 a dec%aration that I had !u 'itted concerning Keren!k#>! 0re0aration for an offen!ive at the front wa! read # the )o%!hevik faction at the congre!! of the $oviet!. 5e had 0ointed out that the offen!ive wa! an adventure that threatened the ver# e/i!tence of the ar'#. )ut the Provi!iona% govern'ent wa! growing into/icated with it! own !0eechif#ing. +he 'ini!ter! thought of the 'a!!e! of !o%dier!3 !tirred to their ver# de0th! # the revo%ution3 a! !o 'uch !oft c%a# to e 'ou%ded a! the# 0%ea!ed. Keren!k# toured the front3 ad@ured and threatened the troo0!3 knee%ed3 ki!!ed the earth B in a word3 downed it in ever# 0o!!i %e wa#3 whi%e he fai%ed to an!wer an# of the Cue!tion! tor'enting the !o%dier!. Ae had deceived hi'!e%f # hi! chea0 effect!3 and3 a!!ured of the !u00ort of the congre!! of the $oviet!3 ordered the offen!ive. 5hen the ca%a'it# that the )o%!hevik! had warned again!t ca'e3 the )o%!hevik! were 'ade the !ca0egoat!. +he# were hounded furiou!%#. +he reaction3 which the Kadet 0art# wa! !hie%ding3 0re!!ed in fro' a%% !ide!3 de'anding our head!. +he faith of the 'a!!e! in the Provi!iona% govern'ent wa! ho0e%e!!%# under'ined. 1t thi! !econd !tage of the revo%ution3 Petrograd wa! again too far in the van. In the 7u%# da#!3 thi! vanguard ca'e to an o0en c%a!h with Keren!k#>! govern'ent. It wa! not #et an u0ri!ing3 ut on%# a reconnai!!ance that went dee0. )ut it had a%read# eco'e o viou! in the 7u%# encounter that Keren!k# had no 9de'ocratic? ar'# ehind hi'D that the force! !u00orting hi' again!t u! were tho!e of a counter<revo%ution. 8uring the !e!!ion in the +aurid Pa%ace on 7u%# 33 I %earned of the de'on!tration of the 'achine< gun regi'ent and it! a00ea% to other troo0! and to factor#<worker!. +he new! ca'e a! a !ur0ri!e to 'e. +he de'on!tration had een !0ontaneou!3 at the initiative of the 'a!!e!3 ut ne/t da# it went farther3 now with the 0artici0ation of our 0art#. +he +aurid Pa%ace wa! overrun # the 0eo0%e. +he# had on%# one !%ogan& 9Power to the $oviet!.? In front of the 0a%ace3 a !u!0iciou!< ooking grou0 of 'en who had ke0t a%oof fro' the crowd !ei-ed the 'ini!ter of agricu%ture3 *hernov3 and 0ut hi' in an auto'o i%e. +he crowd watched indifferent%#D at an# rate3 their !#'0ath# wa! not with hi'. +he new! of *hernov>! !ei-ure and of the danger that threatened hi' reached the 0a%ace. +he Po0u%i!t! decided to u!e 'achine<gun ar'ored car! to re!cue their %eader. +he dec%ine of their 0o0u%arit# wa! 'aking the' nervou!D the# wanted to !how a fir' hand. I decided to tr# to go with *hernov in the auto'o i%e awa# fro' the crowd3 in order that I 'ight re%ea!e hi' afterward. )ut a )o%!hevik3 ,a!ko%nikov3 a %ieutenant in the )a%tic nav#3 who had rought the Kron!tadt !ai%or! to the de'on!tration3 e/cited%# in!i!ted on re%ea!ing *hernov at once3 to 0revent 0eo0%e fro' !a#ing that he had een arre!ted # the Kron!tadt 'en. I decided to tr# to carr# out ,a!ko%nikov>! wi!h. I wi%% %et hi' !0eak for hi'!e%f. 9It i! difficu%t to !a# how %ong the tur u%ence of the 'a!!e! wou%d have continued3? the i'0u%!ive %ieutenant !a#! in hi! 'e'oir!3 9 ut for the intervention of *o'rade +rot!k#. Ae @u'0ed on the front of the auto'o i%e3 and with an energetic wave of hi! hand3 %ike a 'an who wa! tired of waiting3 gave the !igna% for !i%ence. In!tant%#3 ever#thing ca%'ed down3 and there wa! dead Cuiet. In a %oud3 c%ear and ringing voice3 =ev 8av#dovich 'ade a !hort !0eech3 ending with Ptho!e in favor of vio%ence to *hernov rai!e their hand!J> No od# even o0ened hi! 'outh3? continue! ,a!ko%nikovD 9no one uttered a word of 0rote!t. P*iti-en *hernov3 #ou are free3>

+rot!k# !aid3 a! he turned around !o%e'n%# to the 'ini!ter of agricu%ture and with a wave of hi! hand3 invited hi' to %eave the auto'o i%e. *hernov wa! ha%f<dead and ha%f<a%ive. I he%0ed hi' to get out of the auto'o i%e3 and with an e/hau!ted3 e/0re!!ion%e!! %ook and a he!itating3 un!tead# wa%k3 he went u0 the !te0! and di!a00eared into the ve!ti u%e of the 0a%ace. $ati!fied with hi! victor#3 =ev 8av#dovich wa%ked awa# with hi'.? If one di!count! the unnece!!ari%# 0athetic tone3 the !cene i! de!cri ed correct%#. It did not kee0 the ho!ti%e 0re!! fro' a!!erting that I had *hernov !ei-ed to have hi' %#nched. *hernov !h#%# ke0t !i%entD how cou%d a 9Peo0%e>!? 'ini!ter confe!! hi! inde tedne!! not to hi! own 0o0u%arit#3 ut to the intervention of a )o%!hevik for the !afet# of hi! headE 8e%egation after de%egation de'anded3 in the na'e of the de'on!trant!3 that the E/ecutive *o''ittee take the 0ower. *hied-e3 +-erete%i3 8an3 and 4ot- were !itting in the 0re!idiu' %ike !tatue!. +he# did not an!wer the de%egation!3 and %ooked %ank%# off into !0ace or e/changed 0ertur ed and cr#0tic g%ance!. )o%!hevik! !0oke one after another in !u00ort of the de%egation! of worker! and !o%dier!. +he 'e' er! of the 0re!idiu' were !i%ent. +he# were waiting B ut for whatE Aour! 0a!!ed in thi! wa#. +hen3 in the 'idd%e of the night3 the ha%%! of the 0a%ace re!ounded !udden%# with the triu'0hant %are of tru'0et!. +he 'e' er! of the 0re!idiu' ca'e to %ife a! if the# had een touched # an e%ectric current. $o'e one !o%e'n%# re0orted that the (o%#n regi'ent had arrived fro' the front to 0ut it!e%f of the di!0o!a% of the *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee. In a%% of the Petrograd garri!on3 the 9de'ocrac#? had not had a !ing%e unit that it cou%d re%# on. 1nd !o it had had to wait unti% an ar'ed force cou%d co'e fro' the front. Now the who%e !etting changed i''ediate%#. +he de%egation! were driven outD )o%!hevik! were not a%%owed to !0eak. +he %eader! of the de'ocrac# were wreaking on u! their vengeance for the fear that the 'a!!e! had 'ade the' !uffer. $0eeche! fro' the 0%atfor' of the E/ecutive *o''ittee to%d of an ar'ed 'utin# !u00re!!ed # the %o#a% troo0! of the revo%ution. +he )o%!hevik! were dec%ared a counter<revo%utionar# 0art#. +he arriva% of that one (o%#n regi'ent had done a%% thi!. +hree and a ha%f 'onth! %ater3 the !a'e regi'ent co<o0erated who%ehearted%# in the overthrow of Keren!k#>! govern'ent. On the 'orning of the fifth I 'et =enin. +he offen!ive # the 'a!!e! had een eaten off. 9Now the# wi%% !hoot u! down3 one # one3? !aid =enin. 9+hi! i! the right ti'e for the'.? )ut he overe!ti'ated the o00onent B not hi! veno'3 ut hi! courage and a i%it# to act. +he# did not !hoot u! down one # one3 a%though the# were not far fro' it. )o%!hevik! were eing eaten down in the !treet! and ki%%ed. "i%itar# !tudent! !acked the K!e!hin!ka#a 0a%ace and the 0rinting< work! of the Pra da. +he who%e !treet in front of the work! wa! %ittered with 'anu!cri0t!3 and a'ong tho!e de!tro#ed wa! '# 0a'0h%et To the )landerers. +he dee0 reconnai!!ance of 7u%# had een tran!for'ed into a one<!ided att%e. +he ene'# were ea!i%# victoriou!3 ecau!e we did not fight. +he 0art# wa! 0a#ing dear%# for it. =enin and 6inoviev were in hiding. 4enera% arre!t!3 fo%%owed # eating!3 were the order of the da#. *o!!ack! and 'i%itar# !tudent! confi!cated the 'one# of tho!e arre!ted3 on the ground that it wa! 94er'an 'one#.? "an# of our !#'0athi-er! and ha%f<friend! turned their ack! on u!. In the +aurid Pa%ace3 we were 0roc%ai'ed counter< revo%utioni!t! and were actua%%# 0ut out!ide the %aw.

+he !ituation in the ru%ing circ%e! of the 0art# wa! ad. =enin wa! awa#D Ka'enev>! wing wa! rai!ing it! head. "an# B and the!e inc%uded $ta%in B !i'0%# %et event! take their own cour!e3 !o that the# 'ight !how their wi!do' the da# after. +he )o%!hevik faction in the *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee fe%t or0haned in the +aurid Pa%ace. It !ent a de%egation to a!k 'e if I wou%d !0eak to the' a out the !ituation3 a%though I wa! not #et a 'e' er of the 0art#D '# for'a% @oining had een de%a#ed unti% the 0art# congre!!3 !oon to 'eet. I agreed readi%#3 of cour!e. "# ta%k with the )o%!hevik faction e!ta %i!hed 'ora% ond! of the !ort that are forged on%# under the ene'#>! heavie!t %ow!. I !aid then that after thi! cri!i! we were to e/0ect a ra0id u0 !wingD that the 'a!!e! wou%d eco'e twice a! !trong%# attached to u! when the# had verified the truth of our dec%aration # fact!D that it wa! nece!!ar# to kee0 a !trict watch on ever# revo%utionar#3 for at !uch 'o'ent! 'en are weighed on !ca%e! that do not err. Even now I reca%% with 0%ea!ure the war'th and gratitude that the 'e' er! !howed 'e when I %eft the'. 9=enin i! awa#3? "ura%ov !aid3 9and of the other!3 on%# +rot!k# ha! ke0t hi! head.? If I had een writing the!e 'e'oir! under different circu'!tance! B a%though in other circu'!tance! I !hou%d hard%# have een writing the' at a%% B I !hou%d have he!itated to inc%ude 'uch of what I !a# in the!e 0age!. )ut now I cannot forget that wide%# organi-ed %#ing a out the 0a!t which i! one of the chief activitie! of the e0igone!. "# friend! are in 0ri!on or in e/i%e. I a' o %iged to !0eak of '#!e%f in a wa# that I !hou%d never have done under other condition!. For 'e3 it i! a Cue!tion not 'ere%# of hi!torica% truth ut a%!o of a 0o%itica% !trugg%e that i! !ti%% going on. "# un roken fighting friend!hi0 a! we%% a! '# 0o%itica% friend!hi0 with "ura%ov egan then. I 'u!t !a# at %ea!t a few word! a out the 'an. "ura%ov i! an o%d )o%!hevik who went through the revo%ution of 1925 in "o!cow. In $er0ukhov3 in 192Q3 he wa! caught in the 0ogro' of the )%ack Aundred B carried out3 a! u!ua%3 under the 0rotection of the 0o%ice. "ura%ov i! a 'agnificent giant3 a! fear%e!! a! he i! kind. 5ith a few other!3 he found hi'!e%f in a ring of ene'ie! who had !urrounded the ui%ding of the 6e'!tvo ad'ini!tration. "ura%ov ca'e out of the ui%ding with a revo%ver in hi! hand and wa%ked even%# toward the crowd. It 'oved ack a %itt%e. )ut the !hock co'0an# of the )%ack Aundred %ocked hi! 0ath3 and the ca 'en egan to how% taunt! at hi'. 9*%ear a wa#3? ordered the giant without !%ackening hi! advance3 a! he rai!ed the hand ho%ding the revo%ver. $evera% 'en 0ounced on hi'. Ae !hot one of the' down and wounded another. +he crowd drew ack again. 5ith the !a'e even !te03 cutting hi! wa# through the crowd %ike an ice< reaker3 "ura%ov wa%ked on and on toward "o!cow. Ai! !u !eCuent tria% %a!ted for two #ear!3 and3 in !0ite of the fren-# of the reaction that !we0t over the countr#3 he wa! acCuitted. 1n agricu%tura% e/0ert # training3 a !o%dier in an aut 'o i%e detach'ent during the i'0eria%i!t war3 a %eader of the Octo er fighting in "o!cow3 "ura%ov eca'e the fir!t co''ander of the "o!cow 'i%itar# region after the victor#. Ae wa! a fear%e!! 'ar!ha% of the revo%utionar# war3 a%wa#! !tead#3 !i'0%e3 and unaffected. In hi! ca'0aigning he wa! a tire%e!! %iving e/a'0%eD he gave agricu%tura% advice3 'owed grain3 and in hi! free 'o'ent! gave 'edica% treat'ent to oth 'en and cow!. In the 'o!t difficu%t !ituation! he radiated ca%'3 war'th3 and confidence. 1fter the c%o!e of the war3 "ura%ov and I a%wa#! tried to !0end our free da#! together. 5e were united too # our %ove of hunting. 5e !coured North and $outh for ear! and wo%ve!3 or for 0hea!ant! and u!tard!. 1t 0re!ent3 "ura%ov i! hunting in $i eria a! an e/i%ed o00o!itioni!t.

In the 7u%# da#! of 191;3 "ura%ov he%d hi! head u03 a! u!ua%3 and encouraged 'an# other!. In tho!e da#!3 we a%% needed a %ot of !e%f<contro% to !tride a%ong the corridor! and ha%%! of the +aurid Pa%ace without owing our head!3 a! we ran the gaunt%et of furiou! g%ance!3 veno'ou! whi!0er!3 grinding of teeth3 and a de'on!trative e% owing that !ee'ed to !a#& 9=ookJ =ookJ? +here i! no fur# greater than that of a vain and 0a'0ered 9revo%utionar#? 0hi%i!tine when he egin! to 0erceive that the revo%ution which ha! !udden%# %ifted hi' to the to0 i! a out to threaten hi! te'0orar# !0%endor. +he route to the canteen of the E/ecutive *o''ittee wa! a %itt%e 4o%gotha in tho!e da#!. +ea wa! di!0en!ed there3 and !andwiche! of %ack read and chee!e or red caviarD the %atter wa! 0%entifu% in the $'o%n# and %ater in the Kre'%in. For dinner3 the fare wa! a vegeta %e !ou0 with a chunk of 'eat. +he canteen wa! in charge of a !o%dier na'ed 4rafov. 5hen the aiting of the )o%!hevik! wa! at it! wor!t3 when =enin wa! dec%ared a 4er'an !0# and had to hide in a hut3 I noticed that 4rafov wou%d !%i0 'e a hotter g%a!! of tea3 or a !andwich etter than the re!t3 tr#ing 'eanwhi%e not to %ook at 'e. Ae o viou!%# !#'0athi-ed with the )o%!hevik! ut had to kee0 it fro' hi! !u0erior!. I egan to %ook a out 'e 'ore attentive%#. 4rafov wa! not the on%# one& the who%e %ower !taff of the $'o%n# B 0orter!3 'e!!enger!3 watch'en B were un'i!taka %# with the )o%!hevik!. +hen I fe%t that our cau!e wa! ha%f won. )ut !o far3 on%# ha%f. +he 0re!! wa! conducting an e/ce0tiona%%# veno'ou! and di!hone!t ca'0aign again!t the )o%!hevik!3 a ca'0aign !ur0a!!ed in thi! re!0ect on%# # $ta%in>! ca'0aign again!t the o00o!ition a few #ear! %ater. In 7u%#3 =unachar!k# 'ade a few eCuivoca% !tate'ent! which the 0re!! natura%%# inter0reted a! a renunciation of )o%!hevi!'. $o'e 0a0er! attri uted !i'i%ar !tate'ent! to 'e. On 7u%# 123 I addre!!ed a %etter to the Provi!iona% govern'ent in which I !tated '# co'0%ete agree'ent with =enin and which I ended a! fo%%ow!& 9You can have no ground! for e/e'0ting 'e fro' the action of the decree # virtue of which =enin3 6inoviev and Ka'enev are !u @ect to arre!tD #ou can have no ground! for dou ting that I a' a! irreconci%a %# o00o!ed to the genera% 0o%ic# of the Provi!iona% govern'ent a! '# a ove<'entioned co'rade!.? "e!!r!. the 'ini!ter! drew the due conc%u!ion fro' thi! %etter3 and arre!ted 'e a! a 4er'an agent. In "a#3 when +-erete%i wa! hounding the !ai%or! and di!ar'ing the 'achine<gun co'0anie!3 I warned hi' that the da# wa! 0ro a %# not far di!tant when he wou%d have to !eek he%0 fro' the !ai%or! again!t !o'e genera% who wou%d e !oa0ing the hang'an>! ro0e for the revo%ution. In 1ugu!t3 !uch a genera% 'ade hi! a00earance in the 0er!on of Korni%ov. +-erete%i ca%%ed for the he%0 of the Kron!tadt %ue@acket!D the# did not refu!e it. +he crui!er 'urora entered the water! of the Neva. I wa! a%read# in the Kre!t# 0ri!on when I !aw thi! Cuick fu%fi%'ent of '# 0ro0hec#. +he !ai%or! fro' the 'urora !ent a !0ecia% de%egation to the 0ri!on to a!k '# advice& !hou%d the# defend the 5inter Pa%ace or take it # a!!au%tE I advi!ed the' to 0ut off the !Cuaring of their account with Keren!k# unti% the# had fini!hed Korni%ov. 95hat>! our! wi%% not e!ca0e u!.? 9It won>tE? 9It wi%% not.? 5hi%e I wa! in 0ri!on3 '# wife and o#! ca%%ed to !ee 'e. +he o#! had # that ti'e acCuired !o'e 0o%itica% e/0erience of their own. +he# were !0ending the !u''er in the countr# hou!e of

the fa'i%# of a retired co%one%. (i!itor! often ca'e there3 'o!t%# officer!3 and a! the# he%0ed the'!e%ve! to vodka the# wou%d rai% at the )o%!hevik!. In the 7u%# da#! thi! rai%ing reached it! c%i'a/. ($o'e of the!e officer! %eft !oon after that for the $outh3 where the future 95hite? force! were eing gathered.) 5hen3 in the cour!e of a 'ea%3 a certain #oung 0atriot ca%%ed =enin and +rot!k# 4er'an !0ie!3 '# o%der o# da!hed at hi' with a chair and the #ounger one with a ta %e<knife. +he grown<u0! !e0arated the'3 and the o#!3 !o ing h#!terica%%#3 %ocked the'!e%ve! in their roo'. +he# were !ecret%# 0%anning to 'ake their wa# on foot to Petrograd to find out what wa! ha00ening to the )o%!hevik! there3 ut fortunate%# their 'other ca'e3 0acified the'3 and took the' awa#. )ut in the cit# thing! !ee'ed hard%# etter. +he new!0a0er! were denouncing the )o%!hevik!3 their father wa! in 0ri!on B the revo%ution wa! definite%# di!a00ointing. )ut that did not 0revent the' fro' de%ighted%# watching '# wife furtive%# !%i0 'e a 0en<knife through the grating in the 0ri!on rece0tion<roo'. I continued to con!o%e the' # !a#ing that the rea% revo%ution wa! !ti%% to co'e. "# daughter! were eing drawn 'ore active%# into 0o%itica% %ife. +he# attended the 'eeting! in the "odern *ircu! and took 0art in de'on!tration!. 8uring the 7u%# da#!3 the# were oth !haken u0 in a 'o 3 one of the' %o!t her g%a!!e!3 oth %o!t their hat!3 and oth were afraid that the# wou%d %o!e the father who had @u!t rea00eared on their hori-on. 8uring the da#! of Korni%ov>! advance on Petrograd3 the 0ri!on regi'e wa! hanging # a thread. Ever# od# rea%i-ed that if Korni%ov entered the cit# he wou%d i''ediate%# !%aughter a%% the )o%!hevik! arre!ted # Keren!k#. +he *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee wa! afraid too that the 0ri!on! 'ight e raided # the 5hite<guard e%e'ent! in the ca0ita%. 1 %arge detach'ent of troo0! wa! detai%ed to guard the Kre!t#. Of cour!e it 0roved to e not 9de'ocratic? ut )o%!hevik3 and read# to re%ea!e u! at an# 'o'ent. )ut an act %ike that wou%d have een the !igna% for an i''ediate u0ri!ing3 and the ti'e for that had not #et co'e. "eanwhi%e3 the govern'ent it!e%f egan to re%ea!e u!3 for the !a'e rea!on that it had ca%%ed in the )o%!hevik !ai%or! to guard the 5inter Pa%ace. I went !traight fro' the Kre!t# to the new%# organi-ed co''ittee for the defen!e of the revo%ution3 where I !at with the !a'e gent%e'en who had 0ut 'e in 0ri!on a! an agent of the Aohen-o%%ern!3 and who had not #et withdrawn the accu!ation again!t 'e. I 'u!t candid%# confe!! that the Po0u%i!t! and "en!hevik! # their ver# a00earance 'ade one wi!h that Korni%ov 'ight gri0 the' # the !cruff! of their neck! and !hake the' in the air. )ut thi! wi!h wa! not on%# irreverent3 it wa! un0o%itica%. +he )o%!hevik! !te00ed into the harne!!3 and were ever#where in the fir!t %ine of the defen!e. +he e/0erience of Korni%ov>! 'utin# co'0%eted that of the 7u%# da#!& once 'ore Keren!k# and *o. revea%ed the fact that the# had no force! of their own to ack the'. +he ar'# that ro!e again!t Korni%ov wa! the ar'#<to< e of the Octo er revo%ution. 5e took advantage of the danger to ar' the worker! who' +-erete%i had een di!ar'ing with !uch re!t%e!! indu!tr#. +he ca0ita% Cuieted down in tho!e da#!. Korni%ov>! entr# wa! awaited with ho0e # !o'e and with terror # other!. Our o#! heard !o'e one !a#3 9Ae 'a# co'e to<'orrow3? and in the 'orning3 efore the# were dre!!ed3 the# 0eered out of the window to !ee if he had arrived. )ut Korni%ov did not arrive. +he revo%utionar# u0!wing of the 'a!!e! wa! !o 0owerfu% that hi! 'utin# !i'0%# 'e%ted awa# and eva0orated. )ut not with out %eaving it! traceD the 'utin# wa! a%% gri!t to the )o%!hevik 'i%%.

9,etri ution i! not !%ow in co'ing3? I wrote in the Korni%ov da#!. 9Aounded3 0er!ecuted3 !%andered3 our 0art# never grew a! ra0id%# a! it i! growing now. 1nd thi! 0roce!! wi%% !0read fro' the ca0ita%! to the 0rovince!3 fro' the town! to the countr# and the ar'# ... 5ithout cea!ing for a 'o'ent to e the c%a!! organi-ation of the 0ro%etariat3 our 0art# wi%% e tran!for'ed in the fire of 0er!ecution into a true %eader of a%% the o00re!!ed3 downtrodden3 deceived and hounded 'a!!e!.? 5e were hard%# a %e to kee0 0ace with the ri!ing tide. +he nu' er of )o%!hevik! in the Petrograd $oviet wa! increa!ing dai%#. 5e re0re!ented a%'o!t ha%f of the 'e' er!hi03 and #et there wa! not a !ing%e )o%!hevik in the 0re!idiu'. 5e rai!ed the Cue!tion of re<e%ecting the $oviet 0re!idiu'. 5e offered to for' a coa%ition 0re!idiu' with the "en!hevik! and the Po0u%i!t!. =enin3 a! we afterward found out3 wa! di!0%ea!ed at that3 ecau!e he wa! afraid that it i'0%ied conci%iator# tendencie! on our 0art. )ut no co'0ro'i!e wa! effected. 8e!0ite our recent @oint !trugg%e again!t Korni%ov3 +-erete%i dec%ined the coa%ition 0re!idiu'. 5e had ho0ed for thi!D nothing ut a vote on the %i!t! of candidate! a%ong 0art# %ine! cou%d !o%ve the 0ro %e' now. I a!ked whether the %i!t of our o00onent! inc%uded Keren!k#D for'a%%#3 he wa! a 'e' er of the 0re!idiu'3 though he did not attend the $oviet3 and !howed hi! di!regard of it in ever# wa#. +he Cue!tion took the 0re!idiu' # !ur0ri!e. Keren!k# wa! neither %iked nor re!0ected3 ut it wa! i'0o!!i %e to di!avow one>! 0ri'e 'ini!ter. 1fter con!u%ting one another3 the 'e' er! of the 0re!idiu' an!wered& 9Of cour!e3 he i! inc%uded.? 5e wanted nothing etter. Aere i! an e/tract fro' the 'inute!& 95e were convinced that Keren!k# wa! no %onger in the 0re!idiu' Ltu#ultuous applauseM3 ut we !ee now that we have een 'i!taken. +he !hadow of Keren!k# i! hovering etween *hied-e and 6avad#e. 5hen #ou are a!ked to a00rove the 0o%itica% %ine<u0 of the 0re!idiu'3 re'e' er that #ou are a!ked in thi! wa# to a00rove the 0o%icie! of Keren!k#. Ltu#ultuous applauseM? +hi! threw over to our !ide another hundred or !o of the de%egate! who had een vaci%%ating. +he $oviet nu' ered con!idera %# 'ore than a thou!and 'e' er!. +he voting wa! 0erfor'ed # going out the door. +here wa! tre'endou! e/cite'ent3 for the Cue!tion at i!!ue wa! not the 0re!idiu'3 ut the revo%ution. I wa! wa%king a out in the %o ie! with a grou0 of friend!. 5e reckoned that we !hou%d e a hundred vote! !hort of ha%f3 and were read# to con!ider that a !ucce!!. )ut it ha00ened that we received a hundred vote! 'ore than the coa%ition of the $ocia%i!t<,evo%utioni!t! and the "en!hevik!. 5e were the victor!. I took the chair. +-erete%i3 taking hi! %eave3 e/0re!!ed hi! wi!h that we 'ight !ta# in the $oviet at %ea!t ha%f a! %ong a! the# had een %eading the revo%ution. In other word!3 our o00onent! o0ened for u! a credit account of not 'ore than three 'onth!. +he# 'ade a gro!! 'i!ca%cu%ation. 5e were undeviating in our 'arch to 0ower.

Leon Trotsky

My Life

%3APT(! <<V00

T3( D(%0D0'7 '073T

+he twe%fth hour of the revo%ution wa! near. +he $'o%n# wa! eing tran!for'ed into a fortre!!. In it! garret there were a do-en or two 'achine<gun!3 a %egac# fro' the o%d E/ecutive *o''ittee. *a0tain 4rekov3 co''andant of the $'o%n#3 wa! an undi!gui!ed ene'#. On the other hand3 the chief of the 'achine<gun co'0an# ca'e to te%% 'e that hi! 'en were a%% on the !ide of the )o%!hevik!. I in!tructed !o'e one 0erha0! "arkin to in!0ect the 'achine<gun!. +he# 0roved to e in 0oor condition a! a re!u%t of continuou! neg%ect B the !o%dier! had grown !%ack ecau!e the# had no intention of defending Keren!k#. I had a new and 'ore re%ia %e 'achine< gun detach'ent rought to the $'o%n#. Octo er IT L1M3 a gra# 'orning3 ear%#. I roa'ed a out the ui%ding fro' one f%oor to another3 0art%# for the !ake of 'ove'ent and 0art%# to 'ake !ure that ever#thing wa! in order and to encourage tho!e who needed it. 1%ong the !tone f%oor! of the inter'ina %e and !ti%% ha%f<dark corridor! of the $'o%n#3 the !o%dier! were dragging their 'achine<gun!3 with a heart# c%angor and tra'0ing of feet B thi! wa! the new detach'ent I had !u''oned. +he few $ocia%i!t< ,evo%utioni!t! and "en!hevik! !ti%% in the $'o%n# cou%d e !een 0oking !%ee0#3 frightened face! out at u!. +he 'u!ic of the gun! wa! o'inou! in their ear!3 and the# %eft the $'o%n# in a hurr#3 one after the other. 5e were now in fu%% co''and of the ui%ding that wa! 0re0aring to rear a )o%!hevi!t head over the cit# and the countr#. Ear%# in the 'orning3 two worker!3 a 'an and a wo'an3 0anting after their run fro' the 0art# 0rinting<work!3 u'0ed into 'e on the !tairca!e. +he govern'ent had c%o!ed down the centra% organ of the 0art# and the 0a0er of the Petrograd $oviet. 4overn'ent agent!3 acco'0anied # 'i%itar# !tudent!3 had 0ut !ea%! on the 0rinting<work!. For a 'o'ent the new! !tart%ed u!D !uch i! the 0ower e/erci!ed over the 'ind # %ega% for'a%it#. 9*ou%dn>t we reak the !ea%!E? the wo'an a!ked. 9)reak the'3? I an!wered3 9and to 'ake it !afe for #ou we wi%% give #ou a de0enda %e e!cort.? 9+here i! a atta%ion of !a00er! ne/t door to u!D the !o%dier! are !ure to ack u!3? !aid the wo'an 0rinter3 confident%#. +he "i%itar#<,evo%utionar# *o''ittee i''ediate%# i!!ued an order& 9(1) +he 0rinting<work! of revo%utionar# new!0a0er! to e reo0ened. (I) +he editoria% !taff! and co'0o!itor! to e invited to continue 0u %i!hing the 0a0er!. (3) +he honorar# dut# of 0rotecting the revo%utionar# 0rinting< work! fro' counter revo%utionar# attack! to e intru!ted to the ga%%ant !o%dier! of the =itov!k# regi'ent and the $i/th $a00er ,e!erve )atta%ion.? 1nd fro' that ti'e on3 the 0rinting<work! ran without interru0tion3 and oth new!0a0er! continued 0u %ication. On the ITth3 there wa! difficu%t# at the te%e0hone e/change. "i%itar# !tudent! had intrenched the'!e%ve! there3 and under their 0rotection the te%e0hone o0erator! went into o00o!ition to the

$oviet and refu!ed to 'ake our connection!. +hi! wa! the fir!t3 !0oradic in!tance of !a otage. +he "i%itar#<,evo%utionar# *o''ittee !ent a detach'ent of !ai%or! to the te%e0hone e/change3 and the detach'ent 0%aced two !'a%% gun! at the entrance. +he te%e0hone !ervice wa! re!tored. +hu! egan the taking over of the organ! of ad'ini!tration. On the third f%oor of the $'o%n#3 in a !'a%% corner roo'3 the *o''ittee wa! in continuou! !e!!ion. 1%% the re0ort! a out the 'ove'ent! of troo0!3 the attitude of !o%dier! and worker!3 the agitation in the arrack!3 the de!ign! of organi-er! of 0ogro'!3 the intrigue! of the ourgeoi! 0o%itician! and the foreign e' a!!ie!3 the ha00ening! in the 5inter Pa%ace a%% the!e ca'e to thi! centre3 a! did the re0ort! of the conference! of the 0artie! for'er%# in the $oviet. Infor'ant! ca'e fro' a%% !ide! worker!3 !o%dier!3 officer!3 0orter!3 !ocia%i!t 'i%itar# !tudent!3 !ervant!3 wive! of 0ett# officia%!. "an# of the' to%d u! utter ru i!h3 ut !o'e !u00%ied u! with !eriou! and ver# va%ua %e infor'ation. 1%% that week I had hard%# !te00ed out of the $'o%n#D I !0ent the night! on a %eather couch without undre!!ing3 !%ee0ing in !natche!3 and con!tant%# eing rou!ed # courier!3 !cout!3 'e!!enger<c#c%i!t!3 te%egra0hi!t!3 and cea!e%e!! te%e0hone ca%%!. +he deci!ive 'o'ent wa! c%o!e at hand. It wa! o viou! that there cou%d now e no turning ack. On the night of the ITth3 the 'e' er! of the ,evo%utionar# *o''ittee went out into the variou! di!trict!3 and I wa! %eft a%one. =ater on3 Ka'enev ca'e in. Ae wa! o00o!ed to the u0ri!ing3 ut he had co'e to !0end that deciding night with 'e3 and together we !ta#ed in the tin# corner roo' on the third f%oor3 !o %ike the ca0tain>! ridge on that deciding night of the revo%ution. +here i! a te%e0hone ooth in the %arge e'0t# roo' ad@oining u!3 and the e%% ring! ince!!ant%# a out i'0ortant thing! and trif%e!. Each ring heighten! the a%ertne!! of the !i%ence. One can readi%# 0icture the de!erted !treet! of Petrograd3 di'%# %it3 and whi00ed # the autu'n wind! fro' the !eaD the ourgeoi! and officia%! cowering in their ed!3 tr#ing to gue!! what i! going on in tho!e dangerou! and '#!teriou! !treet!D the worker!> Cuarter! Cuiet with the ten!e !%ee0 of a war<ca'0. *o''i!!ion! and conference! of the govern'ent 0artie! are e/hau!ting the'!e%ve! in i'0otence in the *-ar>! 0a%ace!3 where the %iving gho!t! of de'ocrac# ru !hou%der! with the !ti%% hovering gho!t! of the 'onarch#. Now and again the !i%k! and gi%ding! of the ha%%! are 0%unged into darkne!! the !u00%ie! of coa% have run !hort. In the variou! di!trict!3 detach'ent! of worker!3 !o%dier!3 and !ai% or! are kee0ing watch. +he #oung 0ro%etarian! have rif%e! and 'achine<gun e%t! acro!! their !hou%der!. $treet 0icket! are war'ing the'!e%ve! at fire! in the !treet!. +he %ife of the ca0ita%3 thru!ting it! head fro' one e0och into another on thi! autu'n night3 i! concentrated a out a grou0 of te%e0hone!. ,e0ort! fro' a%% the di!trict!3 !u ur !3 and a00roache! to the ca0ita% are focu!!ed in the roo' on the third f%oor. It !ee'! that ever#thing ha! een fore!eenD the %eader! are in their 0%ace!D the contact! are a!!uredD nothing !ee'! to have een forgotten. Once 'ore3 %et u! go over it in our 'ind!. +hi! night decide!. On%# thi! evening3 in '# re0ort to the de%egate! of the !econd congre!! of the $oviet!3 I !aid with conviction& 9If #ou !tand fir'3 there wi%% e no civi% war3 our ene'ie! wi%% ca0itu%ate at once3 and #ou wi%% take the 0%ace that e%ong! to #ou # right.? +here can e no dou t a out victor#D it i! a! a!!ured a! the victor# of

an# u0ri!ing can e. 1nd #et3 the!e hour! are !ti%% ten!e and fu%% of a%ar'3 for the co'ing night decide!. +he govern'ent3 whi%e 'o i%i-ing cadet! #e!terda#3 gave order! to the crui!er 'urora to !tea' out of the Neva. +he# were the !a'e )o%!hevik !ai%or! who' $ko e%ev3 co'ing hat in hand3 in 1ugu!t egged to 0rotect the 5inter Pa%ace fro' Korni%ov. +he !ai%or! referred to the "i%itar#<,evo%utionar# *o''ittee for in!truction!3 and con!eCuent%# the 'urora i! !tanding tonight where !he wa! #e!terda#. 1 te%e0hone ca%% fro' Pav%ov!k infor'! 'e that the govern'ent i! ringing u0 fro' there a detach'ent of arti%%er#3 a atta%ion of !hock troo0! fro' +!ar!ko#e $#e%o3 and !tudent<officer! fro' the Peterhof 'i%itar# !choo%. Into the 5inter Pa%ace Keren!k# ha! drawn 'i%itar# !tudent!3 officer!3 and the wo'en !hock troo0!. I order the co''i!!arie! to 0%ace de0enda %e 'i%itar# defen!e! a%ong the a00roache! to Petrograd and to !end agitator! to 'eet the detach'ent! ca%%ed out # the govern'ent. 1%% our in!truction! and re0ort! are !ent # te%e0hone and the govern'ent agent! are in a 0o!ition to interce0t the'. )ut can the# !ti%% contro% our co''unication!E 9If #ou fai% to !to0 the' with word!3 u!e ar'!. You wi%% an!wer for thi! with #our %ife.? I re0eat thi! !entence ti'e and ti'e again. )ut I do not #et e%ieve in the force of '# order. +he revo%ution i! !ti%% too tru!ting3 too generou!3 o0ti'i!tic and %ight<hearted. It 0refer! to threaten with ar'! rather than rea%%# u!e the'. It !ti%% ho0e! that a%% Cue!tion! can e !o%ved # word!3 and !o far it ha! een !ucce!!fu% in thi! ho!ti%e e%e'ent! eva0orate efore it! hot reath. Ear%ier in the da# (the ITth) an order wa! i!!ued to u!e ar'! and to !to0 at nothing at the fir!t !ign of !treet 0ogro'!. Our ene'ie! don>t even dare think of the !treet!D the# have gone into hiding. +he !treet! are our!D our co''i!!arie! are watching a%% the a00roache! to Petrograd. +he officer!> !choo% and the gunner! have not re!0onded to the ca%% of the govern'ent. On%# a !ection of the Oranie' au' 'i%itar# !tudent! have !ucceeded in 'aking their wa# through our defen!e!3 ut I have een watching their 'ove'ent! # te%e0hone. +he# end # !ending envo#! to the $'o%n#. +he govern'ent ha! een !eeking !u00ort in vain. +he ground i! !%i00ing fro' under it! feet. +he outer guard of the $'o%n# ha! een reinforced # a new 'achine<gun detach'ent. +he contact with a%% !ection! of the garri!on i! uninterru0ted. +he co'0anie! on dut# are on watch in a%% the regi'ent!. +he co''i!!arie! are in their 0%ace!. 8e%egation! fro' each garri!on unit are in the $'o%n#3 at the di!0o!a% of the "i%itar#<,evo%utionar# *o''ittee3 to e u!ed in ca!e the contact with that unit !hou%d e roken off. 1r'ed detach'ent! fro' the di!trict! 'arch a%ong the !treet!3 ring the e%%! at the gate! or o0en the gate! without ringing3 and take 0o!!e!!ion of one in!titution after another. Near%# ever#where the!e detach'ent! are 'et # friend! who have een waiting i'0atient%# for the'. 1t the rai%wa# ter'ina%!3 !0ecia%%# a00ointed co''i!!arie! are watching the inco'ing and outgoing train!3 and in 0articu%ar the 'ove'ent of troo0!. No di!tur ing new! co'e! fro' there. 1%% the 'ore i'0ortant 0oint! in the cit# are given over into our hand! a%'o!t without re!i!tance3 without fighting3 without ca!ua%tie!. +he te%e0hone a%one infor'! u!& 95e are hereJ? 1%% i! we%%. It cou%d not have gone etter. Now I 'a# %eave the te%e0hone. I !it down on the couch. +he nervou! ten!ion %e!!en!. 1 du%% !en!ation of fatigue co'e! over 'e. 94ive 'e a cigarette3? I !a# to Ka'enev. (In tho!e #ear! I !ti%% !'oked3 ut on%# !0a!'odica%%#.) I take one or two 0uff!3 ut !udden%#3 with the word!3 9On%# thi! wa! %ackingJ? I faint. (I

inherited fro' '# 'other a certain !u!ce0ti i%it# to fainting !0e%%! when !uffering fro' 0h#!ica% 0ain or i%%ne!!. +hat wa! wh# !o'e 1'erican 0h#!ician de!cri ed 'e a! an e0i%e0tic.) 1! I co'e to3 I !ee Ka'enev>! frightened face ending over 'e. 9$ha%% I get !o'e 'edicineE? he a!k!. 9It wou%d e 'uch etter3? I an!wer after a 'o'ent>! ref%ection3 9if #ou got !o'ething to eat.? I tr# to re'e' er when I %a!t had food3 ut I can>t. 1t a%% event!3 it wa! not #e!terda#. Ne/t 'orning I 0ounced u0on the ourgeoi! and "en!hevik<Po0u%i!t 0a0er!. +he# had not even a word a out the u0ri!ing. +he new!0a0er! had een 'aking !uch a to<do a out the co'ing action # ar'ed !o%dier!3 a out the !acking3 the inevita %e river! of %ood3 a out an in!urrection3 that now the# !i'0%# had fai%ed to notice an u0ri!ing that wa! actua%%# taking 0%ace. +he 0re!! wa! taking our negotiation! with the genera% !taff at their face va%ue3 and our di0%o'atic !tate'ent! a! !ign! of vaci%%ation. In the 'eanti'e3 without confu!ion3 without !treet<fight!3 a%'o!t without firing or %ood!hed3 one in!titution after another wa! eing occu0ied # detach'ent! of !o%dier!3 !ai%or!3 and the ,ed 4uard!3 on order! i!!uing fro' the $'o%n# In!titute. +he citi-en of Petrograd wa! ru ing hi! frightened e#e! under a new regi'e. 5a! it rea%%# 0o!!i %e that the )o%!hevik! had !ei-ed the 0owerE 1 de%egation fro' the 'unici0a% 8u'a ca%%ed to !ee 'e3 and a!ked 'e a few ini'ita %e Cue!tion!. 98o #ou 0ro0o!e 'i%itar# actionE If !o3 what3 and whenE? +he 8u'a wou%d have to know of thi! 9not %e!! than twent#<four hour! in advance.? 5hat 'ea!ure! had the $oviet taken to in!ure !afet# and orderE 1nd !o on3 and !o forth. I re0%ied # e/0ounding the dia%ectic view of the revo%ution3 and invited the 8u'a to !end a de%egate to the "i%itar#<,evo%utionar# *o''ittee to take 0art in it! work. +hi! !cared the' 'ore than the u0ri!ing it!e%f. I ended3 a! u!ua%3 in the !0irit of ar'ed !e%f<defen!e& 9If the govern'ent u!e! iron3 it wi%% e an!wered with !tee%.? 95i%% #ou di!!o%ve u! for eing o00o!ed to the tran!fer of 0ower to the $oviet!E? I re0%ied& 9+he 0re!ent 8u'a ref%ect! #e!terda#& if a conf%ict ari!e!3 we wi%% 0ro0o!e to the 0eo0%e that the# e%ect a new 8u'a on the i!!ue of 0ower.? +he de%egation %eft a! it had co'e3 ut it %eft ehind it the fee%ing of an a!!ured victor#. $o'ething had changed during the night. +hree week! ago we had gained a 'a@orit# in the Petrograd $oviet. 5e were hard%# 'ore than a anner with no 0rinting<work!3 no fund!3 no ranche!. No %onger ago than %a!t night3 the govern'ent ordered the arre!t of the "i%itar#<,evo%utionar# *o''ittee3 and wa! engaged in tracing our addre!!e!. +o<da# a de%egation fro' the cit# 8u'a co'e! to the 9arre!ted? "i%itar#<,evo%utionar# *o''ittee to inCuire a out the fate of the 8u'a. +he govern'ent wa! !ti%% in !e!!ion at the 5inter Pa%ace3 ut it wa! no 'ore than a !hadow. Po%itica%%#3 it had cea!ed to e/i!t. 8uring the da# of the I5th3 the 5inter Pa%ace wa! eing !urrounded on a%% !ide! # our troo0!. 1t one o>c%ock 'idda#3 I 'ade a !tate'ent of the !ituation to the Petrograd $oviet. +he new!0a0er account re0ort! it a! fo%%ow!& 9On eha%f of the "i%itar#<

,evo%utionar# *o''ittee3 I dec%are that the Provi!iona% govern'ent i! no %onger e/i!tent. L'pplauseM $o'e 'ini!ter! have een arre!ted. LJ.ra(o.M Other! wi%% e arre!ted in the cour!e of a few da#! or hour!. L'pplauseM +he revo%utionar# garri!on3 at the di!0o!a% of the "i%itar#< ,evo%utionar# *o''ittee3 ha! di!!o%ved the !e!!ion of the Pre<0ar%ia'ent. L"oud applauseM 5e have een on the watch here throughout the night and have fo%%owed the detach'ent! of revo%utionar# !o%dier! and the worker!> guard! # te%e0hone a! the# !i%ent%# carried out their ta!k!. +he citi-en !%e0t in 0eace3 ignorant of the change fro' one 0ower to another. ,ai%wa#< !tation!3 the 0o!t<office3 the te%egra0h3 the Petrograd +e%egra0h 1genc#3 the $tate )ank3 have een occu0ied. L"oud applauseM +he 5inter Pa%ace ha! not #et een taken3 ut it! fate wi%% e decided during the ne/t few 'inute!. L'pplauseM? +hi! are account 'a# give a wrong i'0re!!ion of the 'ood of the gathering. "# 'e'or# !u00%ie! the!e 0articu%ar!. 5hen I re0orted the change of 0ower effected during the night3 there wa! ten!e !i%ence for a few !econd!. +hen a00%au!e egan3 a not ver# !tor'#3 rather thoughtfu% a00%au!e. +he a!!e' %# wa! fee%ing inten!e%# and waiting. 5hi%e the# were 0re0aring for the !trugg%e3 the working c%a!! had een !ei-ed # an inde!cri a %e enthu!ia!'3 ut when we !te00ed over the thre!ho%d of 0ower3 thi! unthinking enthu!ia!' gave wa# to a di!tur ed thoughtfu%ne!!. 1 !ure hi!torica% in!tinct revea%ed it!e%f here. 1head of u! there wa! 0ro a %# the greate!t re!i!tance fro' the o%d wor%dD there were !trugg%e3 !tarvation3 co%d3 de!truction3 %ood and death. 95i%% we overco'e a%% thi!E? 'an# a!ked the'!e%ve!. +hat wa! the cau!e of the 'o'ent! of di!tur ed ref%ection. 95e wi%% overco'e it %? the# a%% an!wered. New danger! were %oo'ing in the far di!tance. )ut now we fe%t a !en!e of a great victor#3 and it !ang in our %ood. It found it! e/0re!!ion in the tu'u%tuou! we%co'e accorded to =enin3 who at that 'eeting 'ade hi! fir!t a00earance after a four 'onth!> a !ence. =ate that evening3 a! we were waiting for the o0ening of the congre!! of the $oviet!3 =enin and I were re!ting in a roo' ad@oining the 'eeting<ha%%3 a roo' entire%# e'0t# e/ce0t for chair!. $o'e one had !0read a %anket on the f%oor for u!D !o'e one e%!e3 I think it wa! =enin>! !i!ter3 had rought u! 0i%%ow!. 5e were %#ing !ide # !ideD od# and !ou% were re%a/ing %ike overtaut !tring!. It wa! a we%%<earned re!t. 5e cou%d not !%ee03 !o we ta%ked in %ow voice!. On%# now did =enin eco'e reconci%ed to the 0o!t0one'ent of the u0ri!ing. Ai! fear! had een di!0e%%ed. +here wa! a rare !incerit# in hi! voice. Ae wa! intere!ted in knowing a%% a out the 'i/ed 0icket! of the ,ed 4uard!3 !ai%or!3 and !o%dier! that had een !tationed ever#where. 95hat a wonderfu% !ight& a worker with a rif%e3 !ide # !ide with a !o%dier3 !tanding efore a !treet fireJ? he re0eated with dee0 fee%ing. 1t %a!t the !o%dier and the worker had een rought togetherJ +hen he !tarted !udden%#. 91nd what a out the 5inter Pa%aceE It ha! not een taken #et. I!n>t there danger in thatE? I got u0 to a!k3 on the te%e0hone3 a out the 0rogre!! of the o0eration! there3 ut he tried to !to0 'e. 9=ie !ti%%3 I wi%% !end !o'e one to find out.? )ut we cou%d not re!t for %ong. +he !e!!ion of the congre!! of the $oviet! wa! o0ening in the ne/t ha%%. H%#anova3 =enin>! !i!ter3 ca'e running to get 'e. 98an i! !0eaking. +he# are a!king for #ou.? In a voice that wa! reaking re0eated%#3 8an wa! rai%ing at the con!0irator! and 0ro0he!#ing the inevita %e co%%a0!e of the u0ri!ing. Ae de'anded that we for' a coa%ition with the $ocia%i!t<

,evo%utioni!t! and the "en!hevik!. +he 0artie! that had een in 0ower on%# the da# efore3 that had hounded u! and thrown u! into 0ri!on3 now that we had overthrown the' were de'anding that we co'e to an agree'ent with the'. I re0%ied to 8an and3 in hi'3 to the #e!terda# of the revo%ution& 95hat ha! taken 0%ace i! an u0ri!ing3 not a con!0irac#. 1n u0ri!ing of the 'a!!e! of the 0eo0%e need! no @u!tification. 5e have een !trengthening the revo%utionar# energ# of the worker! and !o%dier!. 5e have een forging3 o0en%#3 the wi%% of the 'a!!e! for an u0ri!ing. Our u0ri!ing ha! won. 1nd now we are eing a!ked to give u0 our victor#3 to co'e to an agree'ent. 5ith who'E You are wretched3 di!united individua%!D #ou are ankru0t!D #our 0art i! over. 4o to the 0%ace where #ou e%ong fro' now on the du!t< in of hi!tor#J? +hi! wa! the %a!t retort in that %ong dia%ogue that had egun on 10ri% 33 with the da# and hour of =enin>! arriva% in Petrograd.

'otes
1. )# the 7u%ian ca%endar which at the ti'e wa! !ti%% the officia% ca%endar in ,u!!iaD Nove' er Q3 # the ca%endar u!ed in the re!t of Euro0e. +hi! account! for the revo%ution eing ca%%ed !o'eti'e! the Octo er3 !o'eti'e! the Nove' er revo%ution. B ".). Trots$y

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <<V000

CT!&T)540)MD 0' 191E

1fter 192T I !tood out!ide of oth the $ocia% 8e'ocratic faction!. I went through the revo%ution of 1925<192; ar'<in<ar' with the )o%!hevik!. 8uring the #ear! of the reaction3 I defended revo%utionar# 'ethod! in the internationa% "ar/i!t 0u %ication! again!t the "en!hevik!. I !ti%% ho0ed3 however3 that the "en!hevik! wou%d 'ove farther to the %eft3 and I 'ade !evera% atte'0t! to ring a out a union in the 0art#. It wa! not unti% the war that I eca'e fina%%# convinced of the utter ho0e%e!!ne!! of the "en!hevik!. In New York3 at the eginning of "arch3 191;3 I wrote a !erie! of artic%e! dea%ing with the c%a!! force! and 0er!0ective! of the ,u!!ian revo%ution. 1t that ver# ti'e3 =enin3 in 4eneva3 wa! !ending to Petrograd hi! Letters fro1 Afar. 1nd oth of u!3 though we were writing in different 0art! of the wor%d and were !e0arated # an ocean3 gave the !a'e ana%#!i! and the !a'e foreca!t. On ever# one of the 0rinci0a% Cue!tion!3 !uch a! the attitude toward the 0ea!antr#3 toward the ourgeoi!ie3 the Provi!iona% govern'ent3 the war3 and the wor%d revo%ution3 our view! were co'0%ete%# identica%. Aere a te!t of the re%ation! etween

9+rot!k#i!'? and =enini!' wa! 'ade on the ver# touch!tone of hi!tor#. 1nd it wa! carried out under the condition! of a che'ica%%# 0ure e/0eri'ent. 1t that ti'e I knew nothing of =enin>! !tandD I argued on the a!i! of '# own 0re'i!e! and '# own revo%utionar# e/0erience3 and I drew the !a'e 0er!0ective and !ugge!ted the !a'e %ine of !trateg# a! =enin. )ut 0erha0! the Cue!tion wa! Cuite c%ear to ever#one at that ti'e3 and the !o%ution univer!a%%# acce0tedE On the contrar#D =enin>! !tand at that 0eriod3 that i!3 efore 10ri% T3 191;3 when he fir!t a00eared on the Petrograd !tage3 wa! hi! own 0er!ona% one3 !hared # no one e%!e. Not one of tho!e %eader! of the 0art# who were in ,u!!ia had an# intention of 'aking the dictator!hi0 of the 0ro%etariat the !ocia% revo%ution the i''ediate o @ect of hi! 0o%ic#. 1 0art# conference which 'et on the eve of =enin>! arriva% and counted a'ong it! nu' er! a out thirt# )o%!hevik! !howed that none of the' even i'agined an#thing e#ond de'ocrac#. No wonder the 'inute! of that conference are !ti%% ke0t a !ecretJ $ta%in wa! in favor of !u00orting the Provi!iona% govern'ent of 4uchkov and "i%iukoff3 and of 'erging the )o%!hevik! with the "en!hevik!. +he !a'e !tand3 or rather an even 'ore o00ortuni!t one3 wa! taken # ,#kov3 Ka'enev3 "o%otov3 +o'!k#3 Ka%inin3 and a%% the re!t of the %eader! and ha%f<%eader! of to<da#. 8uring the Fe ruar# revo%ution3 Yaro!%av!k#3 Ord-honikid-e3 chair'an Petrov!k# of the Hkrainian E/ecutive *o''ittee3 and other! were 0u %i!hing with the "en!hevik! at Yakut!k a 0a0er ca%%ed The )o+ial De1o+rat3 in which the# e/0ounded the 'o!t vu%gar and 0rovincia% !ort of o00ortuni!'. If tho!e artic%e! in the Yakut!k )o+ial De1o+rat3 edited # Yaro!%avk#3 were to e re0rinted to<da# the# wou%d ki%% hi' a! a 0o%itica% thinker3 if !uch a death were 0o!!i %e for hi'. $uch are the 0re!ent guard! of 9=enini!'.? I rea%i-e3 of cour!e3 that at variou! ti'e! in their %ive! the# have re0eated =enin>! word! and ge!ture! after hi'. )ut the eginning of 191; found the' %eft to their own re!ource!. +he 0o%itica% !ituation wa! difficu%t. Aere wa! their chance to !how what the# had %earned in =enin>! !choo% and what the# cou%d do without =enin. =et the' na'e one of their nu' er who arrived inde0endent%# at the 0o!ition achieved identica%%# # =enin in 4eneva and # 'e in New York. +he# cannot na'e a !ing%e one. +he Petrograd Pra da3 which wa! edited # $ta%in and Ka'enev unti% =enin>! arriva%3 wi%% a%wa#! re'ain a docu'ent of %i'ited under!tanding3 %indne!!3 and o00ortuni!'. 1nd #et the 'a!! 'e' er!hi0 of the 0art#3 %ike the working c%a!! a! a who%e3 wa! 'oving !0ontaneou!%# toward the fight for 0ower. +here wa! no other 0ath for either the 0art# or the countr#. In the #ear! of reaction3 one needed theoretica% fore!ight in order to ho%d fa!t to the 0ro!0ect of a 0er'anent revo%ution. Pro a %# nothing 'ore than 0o%itica% !en!e wa! needed to advance the !%ogan of a fight for 0ower in "arch3 191;. Not a !ing%e one of the 0re!ent %eader! revea%ed !uch a fore!ight or !uch a !en!e. Not one of the' went e#ond the 0oint of view of the %eft 0ett# ourgeoi! de'ocrat in "arch3 191;. Not one of the' !tood the te!t of hi!tor#. I arrived in Petrograd a 'onth after =eninB it wa! e/act%# that %ong that I had een detained in *anada # =%o#d 4eorge. )# that ti'e3 the !ituation in the 0art# had changed !u !tantia%%#. =enin had a00ea%ed to the 'a!!e! again!t their !orr# %eader!. Ae had %aunched a !#!te'atic fight again!t 9the o%d )o%!hevik! who3? a! he wrote in tho!e da#!3 9'ore than once have 0%a#ed a !orr# 0art in the hi!tor# of our 0art# # re0eating a for'u%a3 uninte%%igent%# %earned3 in!tead of !tud#ing the 0ecu%iar nature of the new and %iving rea%it#.? Ka'enev and ,#kov tried to re!i!t.

$ta%in !i%ent%# !te00ed a!ide. Not one of hi! artic%e! written a out that 0eriod !how! that $ta%in 'ade an# atte'0t to e!ti'ate hi! 0reviou! 0o%ic# and win hi! wa# to =enin>! !tand. Ae !i'0%# ke0t !i%ent3 ecau!e he had een too 'uch co'0ro'i!ed # hi! unfortunate %eader!hi0 during the fir!t 'onth of the revo%ution& Ae 0referred to withdraw into the ackground. Ae never 'ade an# 0u %ic a00earance to defend =enin>! view!D he 'ere%# !tood ack and waited. 8uring the 'o!t re!0on!i %e 'onth! of the theoretica% and 0o%itica% 0re0aration for the u0 ri!ing3 $ta%in !i'0%# did not e/i!t3 in the 0o%itica% !en!e. 1t the ti'e of '# arriva%3 there were in the countr# 'an# $ocia% 8e'ocratic organi-ation! which inc%uded oth )o%!hevik! and "en!hevik!. +hi! wa! the natura% re!u%t of the !tand that $ta%in3 a! we%% a! Ka'enev and other!3 had taken3 not on%# in the ear%# !tage! of the revo%ution ut a%!o during the war a%though one 'u!t ad'it that $ta%in>! 0o!ition during the war wa! known to no oneD to thi! rather i'0ortant Cue!tion he had never devoted a %ine. +o<da# the *o''uni!t Internationa% te/t ook! a%% over the wor%d a'ong the *o''uni!t Youth! of $candinavia and the Pioneer! of 1u!tra%ia kee0 0ounding it in that +rot!k# 'ade an atte'0t in 191I to ring a out the union of the )o%!hevik! with the "en!hevik!. )ut the# never once 'ention the fact that in "arch3 191;3 $ta%in wa! advocating union with +-erete%i>! 0art#3 and that it wa! not unti% the 'idd%e of the #ear 191; that =enin wa! a %e to 0u%% the 0art# out of the 'ora!! into which it! te'0orar# %eader! the e0igone! of to<da# had driven it. +he fact that not one of the' under!tood the !ignificance and direction of the revo%ution at it! out!et i! now re0re!ented a! a !0ecia% dia%ectic 0rofundit#3 in contra!t with the here!# of +rot!k#i!'3 which wa! audaciou! enough not on%# to under!tand the da# efore3 ut to fore!ee the da# after a! we%%. 5hen I to%d Ka'enev on '# arriva% in Petrograd that nothing !e0arated 'e fro' =enin>! fa'ou! 910ri% the!e!? that deter'ined the new cour!e of hi! 0art#3 the for'er>! on%# re0%# wa!3 9I !hou%d !a# notJ? )efore for'a%%# @oining the 0art#3 I took 0art in drafting the 'o!t i'0ortant )o%!hevi!t docu'ent!. It never entered an# one>! head to a!k if I had renounced 9+rot!k#i!'3? a! I wa! a!ked thou!and! of ti'e! during the 0eriod of the e0igone dec%ine3 # the *achin!3 +h_%'ann!3 and other! of the hanger!<on of the Octo er revo%ution. +he on%# @u/ta0o!ition of +rot!k#i!' and =enini!' to e heard in tho!e da#! wa! in the %eading grou0 of the 0art#3 where the# accu!ed =ENIN of +rot!k#i!' during the 'onth of 10ri%. Ka'enev did thi! o0en%# and with 'uch in!i!tence. Other! did it 'ore cautiou!%#3 ehind the !cene!. "an# 9o%d )o%!hevik!? !aid to 'e after I arrived in ,u!!ia& 9Now the ce%e ration i! on your !treet.? I had to argue that =enin had not co'e over to '# 0oint of view3 ut had deve%o0ed hi! own3 and that the cour!e of event!3 # !u !tituting arith'etic for a%ge ra3 had revea%ed the e!!entia% identit# of our view!. 1nd that i! what rea%%# ha00ened. 1t tho!e fir!t 'eeting! of our!3 and even 'ore after the 7u%# da#!3 =enin gave one the !en!e of a terrific inner concentration under a !urface of ca%' and 90ro!aic? !i'0%icit#. +he 'ove'ent that had found it! !#' o% in Keren!k# !ee'ed a%%<0owerfu% in tho!e da#!. )o%!hevi!' !ee'ed nothing 'ore than an 9in!ignificant grou03? and officia%%# it wa! eing treated a! !uch. +he 0art# it!e%f did not rea%i-e the 0ower it wa! to have on the da# after3 ut =enin wa! %eading it fir'%# toward it! greate!t ta!k!. I harne!!ed '#!e%f to the work and he%0ed hi'. +wo 'onth! efore the Octo er revo%ution3 I wrote& 9+o u! internationa%i!' i! not an a !tract idea e/i!ting on%# to e etra#ed on ever# o00ortune occa!ion (a! it i! to +-erete%i and *hernov)3

ut i! a rea% guiding and who%%# 0ractica% 0rinci0%e. 1 %a!ting3 deci!ive !ucce!! i! inconceiva %e for u! without a revo%ution in Euro0e.? 1t that ti'e I cou%d not #et 0%ace the na'e of $ta%in3 the 0hi%o!o0her of 9!ocia%i!' in a !ing%e countr#3? e!ide the na'e! of +-erete%i and *hernov. I conc%uded '# artic%e with the word!& 91 0er'anent revo%ution ver!u! a 0er'anent !%aughter& that i! the !trugg%e3 in which the !take i! the future of 'an.? +hi! wa! 0u %i!hed in the centra% organ of our 0art# on $e0te' er ;3 and %ater rei!!ued a! a !e0arate 0a'0h%et. 5h# did '# 0re!ent critic! kee0 !i%ent then a out '# heretica% !%ogan of 0er'anent revo%utionE 5here were the#E $o'e3 %ike $ta%in3 were waiting cautiou!%#3 0eering a out the'. Other!3 %ike 6inoviev3 were hiding under the ta %e. )ut the 'ore i'0ortant Cue!tion i!& Aow cou%d =enin have to%erated '# heretica% 0ro0aganda in !i%enceE In Cue!tion! of theor# he recogni-ed no !uch thing a! indifference or indu%genceD how did he ha00en to a%%ow the 0reaching of 9+rot!k#i!'? in the centra% organ of the 0art#E On Nove' er 13 191;3 at the 'eeting of the Petrograd co''ittee (the 'inute! of thi! hi!torica% 'eeting B hi!torica% in ever# !en!e of the word B are !ti%% ke0t !ecret) =enin !aid that after +rot!k# had eco'e convinced of the i'0o!!i i%it# of union with the "en!hevik! 9there ha! een no etter )o%!hevik.? 1nd in thi! he 0roved ver# c%ear%# and not for the fir!t ti'e3 either that it had not een the theor# of 0er'anent revo%ution that had !e0arated u!3 ut the narrower3 though ver# i'0ortant Cue!tion of the attitude toward "en!hevi!'. =ooking ack3 two #ear! after the revo%ution3 =enin wrote& 91t the 'o'ent when it !ei-ed the 0ower and created the $oviet re0u %ic3 )o%!hevi!' drew to it!e%f a%% the e!t e%e'ent! in the current! of $ocia%i!t thought that were neare!t to it.? *an there e even a !hadow of a dou t that when he !0oke !o de%i erate%# of the e!t re0re!entative! of the currents closest to .olshe(is#3 =enin had fore'o!t in 'ind what i! now ca%%ed the 9hi!torica% +rot!k#i!'?E For what wa! nearer to it than the current that I re0re!entedE 1nd who' e%!e cou%d =enin have had in 'indE Perha0! "arce% *achinE Or +h_%'annE +o =enin3 when he !urve#ed the 0a!t deve%o0'ent of the 0art# a! a who%e3 +rot!k#i!' wa! no ho!ti%e and a%ien current of $ocia%i!t thought3 ut on the contrar# the one that wa! c%o!e!t to )o%!hevi!'. +he actua% cour!e of the deve%o0'ent of idea! in the 0art#3 a! we can !ee3 did not at a%% re!e' %e the fa%!e caricature that the e0igone!3 taking advantage of =enin>! death and the tide of reaction3 have een creating.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <<

0' P&*(!

In the %ife of the countr# and in the %ife of the individua%3 I tho!e were e/traordinar# da#!. In !ocia% 0a!!ion!3 a! we%% a! in 0er!ona% 0ower!3 ten!ion reached it! highe!t 0oint. +he 'a!!e! were creating an e0och3 and their %eader! fe%t their !te0! 'erging with tho!e of hi!tor#. On the deci!ion! 'ade and the order! given in tho!e da#! de0ended the fate of the nation for an entire hi!torica% era. 1nd #et tho!e deci!ion! were 'ade with ver# %itt%e di!cu!!ion. I can hard%# !a# that the# were even 0ro0er%# weighed and con!ideredD the# were a%'o!t i'0rovi!ed on the 'o'ent. )ut the# were none the wor!e for that. +he 0re!!ure of event! wa! !o terrific3 and the work to e done !o c%ear efore u!3 that the 'o!t i'0ortant deci!ion! ca'e natura%%#3 a! a 'atter of cour!e3 and were received in the !a'e !0irit. +he 0ath had een 0redeter'inedD a%% that wa! reCuired wa! to indicate the work. No argu'ent! were nece!!ar#3 and ver# few a00ea%!. 5ithout he!itation or dou t3 the 'a!!e! 0icked u0 what wa! !ugge!ted to the' # the nature of the !ituation. Hnder the !train of event!3 their 9%eader!? did no 'ore than for'u%ate what an!wered the reCuire'ent! of the 0eo0%e and the de'and! of hi!tor#. "ar/i!' con!ider! it!e%f the con!ciou! e/0re!!ion of the uncon!ciou! hi!torica% 0roce!!. )ut the 9uncon!ciou!? 0roce!!3 in the hi!torico<0hi%o!o0hica% !en!e of the ter' not in the 0!#cho%ogica% coincide! with it! con!ciou! e/0re!!ion on%# at it! highe!t 0oint3 when the 'a!!e!3 # !heer e%e'enta% 0re!!ure3 reak through the !ocia% routine and give victoriou! e/0re!!ion to the dee0e!t need! of hi!torica% deve%o0'ent. 1nd at !uch 'o'ent! the highe!t theoretica% con!ciou!ne!! of the e0och 'erge! with the i''ediate action of tho!e o00re!!ed 'a!!e! who are farthe!t awa# fro' theor#. +he creative union of the con!ciou! with the uncon!ciou! i! what one u!ua%%# ca%%! 9in!0iration.? ,evo%ution i! the in!0ired fren-# of hi!tor#. Ever# rea% writer know! creative 'o'ent!3 when !o'ething !tronger than hi'!e%f i! guiding hi! handD ever# rea% orator e/0erience! 'o'ent! when !o'e one !tronger than the !e%f of hi! ever#< da# e/i!tence !0eak! through hi'. +hi! i! 9in!0iration.? It derive! fro' the highe!t creative effort of a%% one>! force!. +he uncon!ciou! ri!e! fro' it! dee0 we%% and end! the con!ciou! 'ind to it! wi%%3 'erging it with it!e%f in !o'e greater !#nthe!i!. +he ut'o!t !0iritua% vigor %ikewi!e infu!e! at ti'e! a%% 0er!ona% activit# connected with the 'ove'ent of the 'a!!e!. +hi! wa! true for the %eader! in the Octo er da#!. +he hidden !trength of the organi!'3 it! 'o!t dee0%# rooted in!tinct!3 it! 0ower of !cent inherited fro' ani'a% fore ear! a%% the!e ro!e and roke through the 0!#chic routine to @oin force! with the higher hi!torico<0hi%o!o0hica% a !traction! in the !ervice of the revo%ution. )oth the!e 0roce!!e!3 affecting the individua% and the 'a!!3 were a!ed on the union of the con!ciou! with the uncon!ciou!& the union of in!tinct the 'ain!0ring of the wi%% with the higher theorie! of thought. Outward%#3 it did not %ook ver# i'0o!ing& 'en went a out tired3 hungr#3 and unwa!hed3 with inf%a'ed e#e! and un!haven eard!. 1nd afterward none of the' cou%d reca%% 'uch a out tho!e 'o!t critica% da#! and hour!. Aere i! an e/tract fro' note! 'ade con!idera %# %ater # '# wife& 98uring the %a!t da#! of the 0re0aration for Octo er3 we were !ta#ing in +aurid !treet. =ev 8av#dovich %ived for who%e da#! at the $'o%n#. I wa! !ti%% working at the union of wood<worker!3 where the )o%!hevik! were in charge3 and the at'o!0here wa! ten!e. 1%% the working hour! were !0ent in ta%king a out the u0ri!ing. +he chair'an of the union u0he%d Pthe 0oint of view of =enin<+rot!k#> (a! it wa! ca%%ed

then)3 and we carried on our agitation together. +he Cue!tion of the u0ri!ing wa! di!cu!!ed ever#where in the !treet!3 at 'ea%<ti'e3 at ca!ua% 'eeting! on the !tair! of the $'o%n#. 5e ate %itt%e3 !%e0t %itt%e3 and worked a%'o!t twent#<four hour! a da#. "o!t of the ti'e we were !e0arated fro' our o#!3 and during the Octo er da#! I worried a out the'. =#ova and $er#o-ha were the on%# P)o%!hevik!> in their !choo% e/ce0t for a third3 a P!#'0athi-er3> a! the# ca%%ed hi'. 1gain!t the' the!e three had a co'0act grou0 of off!hoot! of the ru%ing de'ocrac# Kadet! and $ocia%i!t<,evo%utioni!t!. 1nd a! u!ua%%# ha00en! in !uch ca!e!3 critici!' wa! !u00%e'ented # 0ractica% argu'ent!. On 'ore than one occa!ion3 the head 'a!ter had to e/tricate '# !on! fro' under the 0i%ed<u0 Pde'ocrat!> who were 0u''e%ing the'. +he o#!3 after a%%3 were on%# fo%%owing the e/a'0%e of their father!. +he head 'a!ter wa! a Kadet3 and con!eCuent%# a%wa#! 0uni!hed '# !on! with P+ake #our hat! and go ho'e.> 1fter the revo%ution3 it wa! Cuite i'0o!!i %e for the o#! to re'ain in that !choo%3 and !o the# went to a P0eo0%e>! !choo%> in!tead. Ever#thing wa! 'uch !i'0%er and cruder there3 ut one cou%d reathe 'ore free%#. 9=.8. and I ver# !e%do' were at ho'e. +he o#! wou%d co'e ho'e fro' !choo% and3 finding that we weren>t in3 wou%d think it unnece!!ar# for the' to !ta# within the four wa%%! either. In tho!e da#! of de'on!tration!3 da!he! and !hooting! we were worried for their !afet#3 ecau!e the# were then in !uch a revo%utionar# 'ood ... 1t our rief 'eeting! the# wou%d te%% u! with the greate!t @o#& P+o<da# we were with !o'e *o!!ack! in a !treet<car and !aw the' read 8ad>! a00ea%3 .rother Cossac$s@> 9P5e%%E> 9P+he# read it and 0a!!ed it on to other!D it wa! fineJ> 9PFineE> 9PFine.> 91n acCuaintance of =.8.>!3 the engineer K.3 who had a %arge fa'i%# of chi%dren of a%% age!3 with a governe!! and !o forth3 offered to kee0 the o#! in hi! ho'e3 where there wou%d e !o'e one to %ook after the'. I @u'0ed at thi! a! a !aving grace. I had to ca%% at the $'o%n# a out five ti'e! a da# to carr# out different co''i!!ion! for =.8. 5e wou%d return to +aurid !treet %ate at nightD in the 'orning3 we wou%d !e0arate again3 =.8. going to the $'o%n#3 and I to the union. 1t the cu%'ination of event!3 we a%'o!t never %eft the $'o%n#. For da#! at a ti'e =.8. wou%d not co'e to +aurid !treet even to !%ee0. 1nd I often !ta#ed at the $'o%n#3 a! we%%. 5e !%e0t on !ofa! and chair! without undre!!ing. +he weather wa! not e/act%# war'D it wa! autu'nD the da#! were dr# and %owering3 and the wind %ew in !har03 co%d gu!t!. +he 'ain !treet! were Cuiet and de!erted. 1nd in thi! !ti%%ne!! one fe%t an inten!e watchfu%ne!!. +he $'o%n# wa! u %ing over. +he enor'ou! ha%% !0ark%ed with the thou!and! of %ight! fro' the 'agnificent chande%ier!D da# and night it wa! fi%%ed to the ri' with 0eo0%e. =ife in the 'i%%! and factorie! wa! !trained3 ut the !treet! had Cuieted down. +he# were a! !ti%% a! if the cit#3 in fright3 had drawn it! head down etween it! !hou%der!. 9I re'e' er that on the 'orning of the !econd or third da# after the u0ri!ing3 I dro00ed into a roo' at the $'o%n# and found (%adi'ir I%#ich L=eninM there with =ev 8av#dovich. 5ith the'3 if

I re'e' er correct%#3 were 8-er-hin!k#3 7offe3 and a crowd of other!. +heir face! were a gra#i!h<green fro' %ack of !%ee0D their e#e! were inf%a'ed3 their co%%ar! !oi%ed3 and the roo' wa! fu%% of !'oke ... $o'e one wa! !itting at a ta %e !urrounded # 0eo0%e waiting for order!. =enin and +rot!k# were a%!o in the 'id!t of a waiting 'o . It !ee'ed to 'e that order! were eing given a! if # 0eo0%e who were a!%ee0. +here wa! !o'ething of the !o'na' u%i!t in the wa# the# ta%ked and 'oved a out. For a 'o'ent I fe%t a! if I were !eeing it a%% in a drea'3 and that the revo%ution wa! in danger of eing %o!t if Pthe#> didn>t get a good !%ee0 and 0ut on c%ean co%%ar!D the drea' wa! c%o!e%# ound u0 with tho!e co%%ar!. I re'e' er that ne/t da# I 'et =enin>! !i!ter3 "ar#a I%ini!hna3 and re'inded her hurried%# that (%adi'ir I%#ich needed a c%ean co%%ar. POh3 #e!3 of cour!e3> !he re0%ied3 %aughing. )ut # that ti'e thi! 'atter of c%ean co%%ar! had %o!t it! night'ari!h !ignificance for 'e.? +he 0ower i! taken over3 at %ea!t in Petrograd. =enin ha! not #et had ti'e to change hi! co%%ar3 ut hi! e#e! are ver# wide<awake3 even though hi! face %ook! !o tired. Ae %ook! !oft%# at 'e3 with that !ort of awkward !h#ne!! that with hi' indicate! inti'ac#. 9You know3? he !a#! he!itating%#3 9fro' 0er!ecution and a %ife underground3 to co'e !o !udden%# into 0ower ... Ae 0au!e! for the right word. 9-s schwindelt3? he conc%ude!3 changing !udden%# to 4er'an3 and circ%ing hi! hand around hi! head. 5e %ook at each other and %augh a %itt%e. 1%% thi! take! on%# a 'inute or twoD then a !i'0%e 90a!!ing to ne/t u!ine!!.? +he govern'ent 'u!t e for'ed. 5e nu' er a'ong u! a few 'e' er! of the *entra% *o''ittee. 1 Cuick !e!!ion o0en! over in a corner of the roo'. 95hat !ha%% we ca%% the'E? a!k! =enin3 thinking a%oud. 91n# thing ut 'ini!ter! that>! !uch a vi%e3 hackne#ed word.? 95e 'ight ca%% the' co''i!!arie!3? I !ugge!t3 9 ut there are too 'an# co''i!!arie! @u!t now. Perha0! >!u0re'e co''i!!arie!>E No3 >!u0re'e> doe! not !ound we%%3 either. 5hat a out >0eo0%e>! co''i!!arie!>E? 9>Peo0%e>! co''i!!arie!E 5e%%3 that 'ight do3 I think3? =enin agree!. 91nd the govern'ent a! a who%eE? 91 $oviet3 of cour!e ...3 the $oviet of Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie!3 ehE? 9+he $oviet of Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie!E? =enin 0ick! it u0. 9+hat>! !0%endidD !'e%%! terri %# of revo%utionJ? =enin wa! not 'uch inc%ined toward the `!thetic! of revo%ution3 or toward re%i!hing it! 9ro'antic Cua%it#.? )ut a%% the 'ore dee0%# did he fee% the revo%ution a! a who%e3 and a%% the 'ore un'i!taka %# did he define it! 9!'e%%.? 91nd what3? (%adi'ir I%#ich once a!ked 'e Cuite une/0ected%#3 during tho!e fir!t da#! 9what if the 5hite 4uard! ki%% #ou and 'eE 5i%% $v#erd%ov and )ukharin e a %e to 'anageE? 9Perha0! the# won>t ki%% u!3? I re@oined3 %aughing.

9+he devi% know! what the# 'ight do3? !aid =enin3 %aughing in turn. In 19IT3 in '# reco%%ection! of =enin3 I de!cri ed thi! incident for the fir!t ti'e. I %earned afterward that the 'e' er! of what wa! then a 9trio? $ta%in3 6inoviev and Ka'enev fe%t terri %# offended # it3 a%though the# did not dare contradict it. )ut the fact re'ain! that =enin on%# 'entioned $v#erd%ov and )ukharin. Ae did not think of an# other!. $ince he had !0ent fifteen #ear! in hi! two e/i%e! a road3 with on%# !hort interva%! etween3 =enin knew the 'ain figure! of the 0art# who were %iving in ,u!!ia on%# fro' hi! corre!0ondence with the' or fro' hi! few 'eeting! with the' a road. It wa! not unti% after the revo%ution that he wa! a %e to !ee the' at c%o!e range and actua%%# at work. 1nd con!eCuent%# he had to revi!e the o%d o0inion!3 a!ed on indirect re0ort!3 or e%!e for' new one!. 1 'an of great 'ora% 0a!!ion3 =enin cou%d not i'agine !uch a thing a! indifference toward 0eo0%e. 1 thinker3 o !erver3 and !trategi!t3 he wa! !u @ect to !0a!'! of enthu!ia!' for 0eo0%e. Kru0!ka#a a%!o 'ention! thi! trait of hi! in her 'e'oir!. =enin never weighed a 'an at a g%ance3 for'ing !o'e average e!ti'ate of hi'. Ai! e#e wa! %ike a 'icro!co0eD it wou%d 'agnif# 'an# ti'e! the trait that ca'e within it! fie%d of vi!ion at a 0articu%ar 'o'ent. Ae wou%d often fa%% in %ove with 0eo0%e3 in the fu%% !en!e of the word. 1nd on !uch occa!ion! I wou%d tea!e hi'& 9I know3 I know3 #ou are having a new ro'ance.? =enin rea%i-ed thi! characteri!tic of hi!3 and wou%d %augh # wa# of re0%#3 a %itt%e e' arra!!ed ut a %itt%e angr#3 too. =enin>! attitude toward 'e changed !evera% ti'e! during 191;. Ae 'et 'e fir!t with a certain re!erve3 cautiou!%#. +he 7u%# da#! rought u! ver# c%o!e together3 Cuite !udden%#. 5hen3 in o00o!ition to the 'a@orit# of the %eading )o%!hevi!t!3 I 0ro0o!ed o#cotting the 0re<0ar%ia'ent3 =enin wrote 'e fro' hi! refuge& 9)ravo3 *o'rade +rot!k#J? =ater on3 @udging fro' !o'e accidenta% and Cuite erroneou! indication!3 he conc%uded that I wa! eing too di%ator# in the 'atter of an ar'ed u0ri!ing3 and thi! !u!0icion wa! ref%ected in !evera% of hi! %etter! during Octo er. )# contra!t3 hi! attitude toward 'e on the da# of the revo%ution3 when we were re!ting on the f%oor of a ha%f<dark3 e'0t# roo'3 eca'e a%% the 'ore un'i!taka %e in it! war'th and friend%ine!!. +he ne/t da#3 at the 'eeting of the *entra% *o''ittee of the 0art#3 he 0ro0o!ed that I e e%ected chair'an of the $oviet of Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie!. I !0rang to '# feet3 0rote!ting the 0ro0o!a% !ee'ed to 'e !o une/0ected and ina00ro0riate. 95h# notE? =enin in!i!ted. 9You were at the head of the Petrograd $oviet that !ei-ed the 0ower.? I 'oved to re@ect hi! 0ro0o!a%3 without de ating it. +he 'otion wa! carried. On the fir!t of Nove' er3 during the i'0a!!ioned di!cu!!ion! that took 0%ace at the 'eeting of the Petrograd 0art# co''ittee3 =enin e/c%ai'ed& 9+here i! no etter )o%!hevik than +rot!k#.? *o'ing fro' hi'3 the word! 'eant a great dea%. It i! no wonder that the 'inute! of the 'eeting at which the# were 0ronounced are !ti%% withhe%d fro' the 0u %ic. +he conCue!t of the 0ower rought u0 the Cue!tion of '# govern'ent work. $trange%# enough3 I had never even given a thought to itD in !0ite of the e/0erience of 19253 there wa! never an occa!ion when I connected the Cue!tion of '# future with that of 0ower. Fro' '# #outh on3 or3 to e 'ore 0reci!e3 fro' '# chi%dhood on3 I had drea'ed of eing a writer. =ater3 I !u ordinated '# %iterar# work3 a! I did ever#thing e%!e3 to the revo%ution. +he Cue!tion of the 0art#>! conCue!t of 0ower wa! a%wa#! efore 'e. +i'e! without nu' er3 I wrote and !0oke a out the 0rogra''e

of the revo%utionar# govern'ent3 ut the Cue!tion of '# 0er!ona% work after the conCue!t never entered '# 'ind. 1nd !o it caught 'e unaware!. 1fter the !ei-ure of 0ower3 I tried to !ta# out of the govern'ent3 and offered to undertake the direction of the 0re!!. It i! Cuite 0o!!i %e that the nervou! reaction after the victor# had !o'ething to do with thatD the 'onth! that had 0receded it had een too c%o!e%# tied u0 with the 0re0arator# work for the revo%ution. Ever# fi re of '# entire eing wa! !trained to it! %i'it. =unachar!k# wrote !o'ewhere in the 0a0er! that +rot!k# wa%ked a out %ike an e%ectric atter# and that each contact with hi' rought forth a di!charge. +he twent#<fifth of Octo er rought the %et<down. I fe%t %ike a !urgeon who ha! fini!hed a difficu%t and dangerou! o0eration I 'u!t wa!h '# hand!3 take off '# a0ron3 and re!t. =enin wa! in a different 0o!ition. Ae had @u!t arrived fro' hi! refuge3 after !0ending three and a ha%f 'onth! cut off fro' rea%3 0ractica% direction. One thing coincided with the other3 and thi! on%# added to '# de!ire to retire ehind the !cene! for a whi%e. =enin wou%d not hear of it3 however. Ae in!i!ted that I take over the co''i!!ariat of the interior3 !a#ing that the 'o!t i'0ortant ta!k at the 'o'ent wa! to fight off a counter<revo%ution. I o @ected3 and rought u03 a'ong other argu'ent!3 the Cue!tion of nationa%it#. 5a! it worth whi%e to 0ut into our ene'ie!> hand! !uch an additiona% wea0on a! '# 7ewi!h originE =enin a%'o!t %o!t hi! te'0er. 95e are having a great internationa% revo%ution. Of what i'0ortance are !uch trif%e!E? 1 good<hu'ored ickering egan. 9No dou t the revo%ution i! great3? I an!wered3 9 ut there are !ti%% a good 'an# foo%! %eft.? 9)ut !ure%# we don>t kee0 !te0 with the foo%!E? 9Pro a %# we don>t3 ut !o'eti'e! one ha! to 'ake !o'e a%%owance for !tu0idit#. 5h# create additiona% co'0%ication! at the out!etE? I have a%read# had occa!ion to o !erve that the nationa% Cue!tion3 !o i'0ortant in the %ife of ,u!!ia3 had 0ractica%%# no 0er!ona% !ignificance for 'e. Even in '# ear%# #outh3 the nationa% ia! and nationa% 0re@udice! had on%# ewi%dered '# !en!e of rea!on3 in !o'e ca!e! !tirring in 'e nothing ut di!dain and even a 'ora% nau!ea. "# "ar/i!t education dee0ened thi! fee%ing3 and changed '# attitude to that of an active internationa%i!'. "# %ife in !o 'an# countrie!3 '# acCuaintance with !o 'an# different %anguage!3 0o%itica% !#!te'! and cu%ture! on%# he%0ed 'e to a !or that internationa%i!' into '# ver# f%e!h and %ood. If3 in 191; and %ater3 I occa!iona%%# 0ointed to '# 7ewi!h origin a! an argu'ent again!t !o'e a00oint'ent3 it wa! !i'0%# ecau!e of 0o%itica% con!ideration!. $v#erd%ov and other 'e' er! of the *entra% *o''ittee were won over to '# !ide. =enin wa! in the 'inorit#. Ae !hrugged hi! !hou%der!3 !ighed3 !hook hi! head re0roachfu%%#3 and con!o%ed hi'!e%f with the thought that we !hou%d a%% have to fight the counter<revo%ution an#wa#3 no 'atter what de0art'ent! of the govern'ent we were in. )ut '# going over to the 0re!! wa! a%!o

fir'%# o00o!ed # $v#erd%ovD )ukharin3 he !aid3 wa! the 'an for that. 9=ev 8av#dovich !hou%d e !et u0 again!t the re!t of Euro0e. =et hi' take charge of foreign affair!.? 95hat foreign affair! wi%% we have nowE? retorted =enin. )ut re%uctant%# he fina%%# agreed3 and I3 %ikewi!e with re%uctance3 con!ented. 1nd thu!3 at the in!tigation of $v#erd%ov3 I ca'e to head the $oviet di0%o'ac# for a Cuarter of a #ear. +he co''i!!ariat of foreign affair! actua%%# 'eant freedo' fro' de0art'enta% work. +o co'rade! who offered their he%03 I a%'o!t invaria %# !ugge!ted that the# %ook for a 'ore gratif#ing fie%d for their energ#. One of the' %ater gave3 in hi! 'e'oir!3 a fair%# @uic# re0ort of a conver!ation he had with 'e !oon after the $oviet govern'ent wa! for'ed. 95hat di0%o'atic work are we a0t to haveE? I !aid to hi'3 according to hi! account. 9I wi%% i!!ue a few revo%utionar# 0roc%a'ation! to the 0eo0%e! of the wor%d3 and then !hut u0 !ho0.? "# inter%ocutor wa! genuine%# hurt # '# %ack of di0%o'atic con!ciou!ne!!. I had of cour!e intentiona%%# e/aggerated '# 0oint of view3 ecau!e I wanted to e'0ha!i-e the fact that the centre of gravit# wa! not in di0%o'ac# at that ti'e. +he 0rinci0a% ta!k! were to deve%o0 the Octo er revo%ution further3 e/tend it to the entire countr#3 eat off the raid again!t Petrograd # Keren!k# and 4enera% Kra!nov3 and fight the counter<revo%ution. +he!e 0ro %e'! we were !o%ving out!ide of the de0art'ent!3 and '# co%%a oration with =enin wa! 'o!t inti'ate and continuou! at a%% ti'e!. =enin>! roo' in the $'o%n# wa! at the o00o!ite end of the ui%ding fro' '# own. +he corridor that connected3 or rather divided3 the' wa! !o %ong that =enin @e!ting%# !ugge!ted that we e!ta %i!h co''unication # ic#c%e. 5e were connected # te%e0hone3 and !evera% ti'e! each da# I wou%d wa%k the end%e!! corridor that %ooked %ike an ant<hi%% to =enin>! roo' for our conference!. 1 #oung !ai%or who wa! known a! =enin>! !ecretar# wa! con!tant%# running etween u!3 ringing 'e =enin>! note!3 which con!i!ted of two or three fir'%# e/0re!!ed !entence!3 with the 'ore i'0ortant word! under!cored two or three ti'e! and the fina% Cue!tion ai'ed 0oint %ank. Often the note! were acco'0anied # draft! of decree! that reCuired i''ediate co''ent. +he archive! of the $oviet of Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie! ho%d a great 'an# docu'ent! of that 0eriod3 !o'e written # =enin3 !o'e # 'e B =enin>! te/t! with '# a'end'ent!3 or '# 0ro0o!a%! with =enin>! addition!. 8uring the fir!t 0eriod B rough%# !0eaking3 unti% 1ugu!t3 191G B I wa! active in the genera% work of the $oviet of Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie!. 8uring the $'o%n# 0eriod3 =enin wa! eager%# i'0atient to an!wer a%% 0ro %e'! of econo'ic3 0o%itica%3 ad'ini!trative and cu%tura% %ife # decree!. In thi! he wa! guided not # an# 0a!!ion for ureaucratic 'ethod3 ut rather # a de!ire to unfo%d the 0art#>! 0rogra''e in the %anguage of 0ower. Ae knew that revo%utionar# decree! were on%# 0artia%%# carried out. )ut to in!ure fu%% e/ecution and contro% for the!e 'ea!ure!3 a 0ro0er%# functioning 'achine wa! reCuired3 a! we%% a! ti'e and e/0erience. No one cou%d te%% how 'uch ti'e we wou%d have at our di!0o!a%. 8uring that fir!t 0eriod3 the decree! were rea%%# 'ore 0ro0aganda than actua% ad'ini!trative 'ea!ure!. =enin wa! in a hurr# to te%% the 0eo0%e what the new 0ower wa!3 what it wa! after3 and how it intended to acco'0%i!h it! ai'!. Ae went fro' Cue!tion to Cue!tion with a 'agnificent tire%e!!ne!!D he ca%%ed !'a%% conference!3 co''i!!ioned e/0ert! to 'ake in Cuirie!3 and dug into ook! hi'!e%f. 1nd I he%0ed hi'.

=enin>! conviction of continuit# in the work that he wa! doing wa! ver# !trong. 1! a great revo%utionar#3 he under!tood the 'eaning of hi!torica% tradition. It wa! i'0o!!i %e to te%% in advance whether we were to !ta# in 0ower or e overthrown. 1nd !o it wa! nece!!ar#3 whatever ha00ened3 to 'ake our revo%utionar# e/0erience a! c%ear a! 0o!!i %e for a%% 'en. Other! wou%d co'e3 and3 with the he%0 of what we had out%ined and egun3 wou%d take another !te0 forward. +hat wa! the 'eaning of the %egi!%ative work during the fir!t 0eriod. +hat wa! wh# =enin in!i!ted i'0atient%# on the ear%ie!t 0o!!i %e 0u %ication of the c%a!!ic! of !ocia%i!' and 'ateria%i!' in ,u!!ian tran!%ation. Ae wa! an/iou! to have a! 'an# revo%utionar# 'onu'ent! erected a! 0o!!i %e3 even if the# were of the !i'0%e!t !ort3 %ike u!t! or 'e'oria% ta %et! to e 0%aced in a%% the town!3 and3 if it cou%d e 'anaged3 in the vi%%age! a! we%%3 !o that what had ha00ened 'ight e fi/ed in the 0eo0%e>! i'agination3 and %eave the dee0e!t 0o!!i %e furrow in 'e'or#. Ever# 'eeting of the $oviet of Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie! L1M3 which changed it! 'e' er!hi0 often at fir!t3 0re!ented a 0icture of an i''en!e %egi!%ative i'0rovi!ation. Ever#thing had to 0roceed fro' the eginning. +here were no 90recedent!3? !ince hi!tor# had none to offer. =enin 0re!ided indefatiga %# at the $oviet for five and !i/ hour! on end3 and the 'eeting! of the Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie! were he%d ever# da#. 1! a ru%e3 'atter! were rought u0 for con!ideration without 0reviou! 0re0aration3 and a%'o!t a%wa#! a! urgent u!ine!!. Often the !u !tance of the Cue!tion di!cu!!ed wa! not known either to the 'e' er! of the $oviet or to the chair'an efore the 'eeting o0ened. +he de ate! were a%wa#! conden!ed3 on%# ten 'inute! eing a%%owed for the o0ening re0ort. Neverthe%e!!3 =enin a%wa#! !en!ed the nece!!ar# cour!e. +o !ave ti'e3 he wou%d !end ver# !hort note! to the 'e' er! 0re!ent3 a!king for infor'ation on thi! or that !u @ect. +he!e note! wou%d revea% a %arge and ver# intere!ting e0i!to%ar# e%e'ent in the %egi!%ative technic of =enin>! $oviet of *o''i!!arie!. )ut unfortunate%# the 'a@orit# have di!a00eared3 ecau!e the re0%# in 'o!t ca!e! wa! written on the rever!e !ide of the 0a0er3 and the note wa! u!ua%%# de!tro#ed at once # the chair'an. 1t the 0ro0er 'o'ent3 =enin wou%d announce hi! re!o%ution!3 a%wa#! with an intentiona% !har0ne!!D after that the de ate! wou%d cea!e or e%!e wou%d give wa# to 0ractica% !ugge!tion!. In the end3 =enin>! 90oint!? were u!ua%%# taken a! the a!i! for the decree. )e!ide! other Cua%itie!3 a great creative i'agination wa! nece!!ar# to guide thi! work. One of the 'o!t va%ua %e 0ower! of !uch an i'agination i! the a i%it# to vi!ua%i-e 0eo0%e3 o @ect!3 and event! a! the# rea%%# are3 even if one ha! never !een the'. +o co' ine !e0arate %itt%e !troke! caught on the wing3 to !u00%e'ent the' # 'ean! of unfor'u%ated %aw! of corre!0ondence and %ike%ihood3 and in thi! wa# to recreate a certain !0here of hu'an %ife in a%% it! concrete rea%it#3 a!ing ever#thing u0on e/0erience in %ife and u0on theor# that i! the i'agination that a %egi!%ator3 an ad'ini!trator3 a %eader 'u!t have3 e!0ecia%%# in a 0eriod of revo%ution. =enin>! !trength wa! chief%# thi! 0ower of rea%i!tic i'agination. It i! hard%# nece!!ar# to !a# that in thi! fever of creative %egi!%ation there were 'an# %under! and contradiction!. )ut3 taken a! a who%e3 =enin>! decree! of the $'o%n# 0eriod3 that i!3 of the 'o!t !tor'# and chaotic 0eriod of the revo%ution3 wi%% e 0re !erved forever in hi!tor# a! the 0roc%a'ation! of a new wor%d. Not on%# !ocio%ogi!t! and hi!torian!3 ut future %egi!%ator! a! we%%3 wi%% draw re0eated%# fro' thi! !ource.

In the 'eanti'e3 0ractica% 0ro %e'! e!0ecia%%# 0ro %e'! of civi% war3 food<!u00%# and tran!0ort were co'ing 'ore and 'ore urgent%# to the fore. $0ecia% e/traordinar# co''i!!ion! were created to face the!e new Cue!tion! for the fir!t ti'e and to !et in 'otion !o'e de0art'ent or other that wa! he%0%e!!%# 'arking ti'e at the thre!ho%d of the 0ro %e'. I had to 0re!ide over 'an# of the!e co''i!!ion!& the food<!u00%# co''i!!ion of which +-#uru0a3 enro%%ed for the fir!t ti'e in govern'ent work3 wa! a 'e' er the tran!0ort co''i!!ion3 the one for 0u %ication!3 and other!. +he di0%o'atic de0art'ent3 with the e/ce0tion of the )re!t<=itov!k 0eace negotiation!3 took ver# %itt%e of '# ti'e. +he u!ine!! 0roved a it 'ore co'0%icated than I had e/0ected3 however. Even in the ver# fir!t da#!3 I found '#!e%f une/0ected%# in di0%o'atic negotiation! with the Eiffe% +owerJ 8uring the u0ri!ing3 we had een too ru!hed to 0a# heed to the foreign radio!. )ut now3 a! the Peo0%e>! *o''i!!ar# for foreign affair!3 I had to watch the reaction of the ca0ita%i!t wor%d toward the revo%ution. It i! Cuite unnece!!ar# to !a# that no greeting! reached u! fro' an#where. +he )er%in govern'ent3 a%though it wa! read# to f%irt with the )o%!hevik!3 !et u0 interference fro' it! Nauen !tation when the +!ar!ko#e $#e%o !tation wa! roadca!ting '# !tate'ent a out our victor# over Keren!k#>! troo0!. )ut if )er%in and (ienna were !ti%% vaci%%ating etween en'it# to the revo%ution and the ho0e of conc%uding a 0rofita %e 0eace3 the re!t of the wor%d not on%# tho!e countrie! engaged in war3 ut the neutra% one! a! we%% echoed3 in their re!0ective %anguage!3 the !enti'ent! of the ru%ing c%a!!e! of the o%d ,u!!ia which we had overthrown. In thi! choru! the Eiffe% +ower !tood out for it! ver# fur#. In tho!e da#!3 it !0oke even in ,u!!ian3 o viou!%# !eeking !o'e direct a00ea% to the heart! of the ,u!!ian 0eo0%e. $o'eti'e!3 when I read the Pari! radio!3 I thought that *%N'enceau hi'!e%f 'u!t e !itting on to0 of the tower. I knew hi' a! a @ourna%i!t we%% enough to recogni-e hi! !0irit3 if not hi! !t#%e. +he hatred in tho!e radio! a%'o!t choked in it! own veno'D 'a%ice reached it! ut'o!t %i'it. $o'eti'e! it !ee'ed a! if the radio<!cor0ion on the Eiffe% +ower wou%d !ting it! head with it! own tai%. 5e had the +!ar!ko#e $#e%o !tation at our di!0o!a%3 and !o there wa! nothing to i'0o!e !i%ence u0on u!. For !evera% da#! I dictated an!wer! to *N'enceau>! a u!e. I knew enough of the 0o%itica% hi!tor# of France to characteri-e the 0rinci0a% dra#atis personae none too f%attering%#. I re'inded the' of certain forgotten fact! in their 0a!t hi!tor#3 eginning with the Pana'a u!ine!!. For !evera% da#! a ten!e due% raged etween Pari! and the +!ar!ko#e $#e%o !tation. Ether3 eing a neutra% agent3 con!cientiou!%# tran!'itted the argu'ent! of oth !ide!. 1nd what ha00enedE Even I had not e/0ected !uch Cuick re!u%t!. Pari! changed it! tone a ru0t%#D henceforth it e/0re!!ed it!e%f in a !ti%% ho!ti%e ut civi% 'anner. =ater I often re'e' ered with 0%ea!ure that I had egun '# di0%o'atic activit# # teaching the Eiffe% +ower good 'anner!. On Nove' er 1G3 4enera% 7ud!on3 the chief of the 1'erican 'i!!ion3 'ade an une/0ected ca%% on 'e at the $'o%n#. Ae infor'ed 'e that he wa! not #et a %e to !0eak in the na'e of the 1'erican govern'ent3 ut he ho0ed that ever#thing wou%d e 9a%% right.? 8id the $oviet govern'ent intend to work toward the conc%u!ion of the war in con@unction with the 1%%ie!E I re0%ied that in view of the co'0%ete 0u %icit# of the forthco'ing negotiation!3 the 1%%ie! wou%d e a %e to watch their 0rogre!! and @oin the' at an# !tage. In conc%u!ion3 the 0eace<%oving 4enera% !aid& 9+he ti'e for 0rote!t! and threat! again!t the $oviet 0ower ha! 0a!!ed3 if there ever

wa! !uch a ti'e.? )ut3 a! we know3 one !wa%%ow3 even if it ha! the rank of genera%3 doe! not 'ake a !u''er. "# fir!t and %a!t 'eeting with the French a' a!!ador3 Nou%en!3 took 0%ace ear%# in 8ece' er. 1 for'er ,adica% de0ut#3 he had een !ent to e!ta %i!h friend%# re%ation! with the Fe ruar# revo%ution3 in 0%ace of the dec%ared 'onarchi!t3 Pa%No%ogue3 a )#-antine in 'ore than na'e3 who' the ,e0u %ic had u!ed to kee0 her friend!hi0 with the *-ar. 5h# Nou%en! and not !o'e one e%!e wa! cho!en3 I do not know. )ut he did not rai!e '# o0inion of the ru%er! of hu'an de!tin#. +he conference3 arranged at hi! initiative3 rought no re!u%t!. 1fter vaci%%ating for a whi%e3 *%N'enceau fina%%# went over to the ar ed<wire regi'e. I did not have a friend%# interview with the head of the French 'i!!ion3 4enera% Nie!!e%3 in '# office at the $'o%n#. Ae had een e/erci!ing hi! aggre!!ivene!! in rearguard action!. Hnder Keren!k#3 he had een accu!to'ed to co''and3 and he did not want to un%earn thi! ad ha it. +o egin with3 I had to a!k hi' to %eave the $'o%n#. Pre!ent%#3 re%ation! with the French 'i!!ion eca'e even 'ore difficu%t. +he infor'ation ureau attached to the 'i!!ion eca'e a factor# for the 'o!t di!gu!ting in!inuation! again!t the revo%ution. In a%% the ho!ti%e 0a0er!3 ca %ed re0ort! 9fro' $tockho%'? egan to a00ear dai%#3 re0ort! that e/ce%%ed each other in fanta!tic invention3 'a%ice3 and !heer !tu0idit#. 5hen Cue!tioned a! to the !ource of the 9$tockho%'? te%egra'!3 the editor! of the 0a0er! 0ointed to the French 'i%itar# 'i!!ion. I a!ked for an officia% e/0%anation fro' 4enera% Nie!!e%3 and on 8ece' er II3 he re0%ied in a tru%# re'arka %e docu'ent. 9Nu'erou! @ourna%i!t! of variou! !hade! of o0inion3? wrote the 4enera%3 9ca%% at the 'i%itar# 'i!!ion for infor'ation. I a' authori-ed to give the' infor'ation a! to 'i%itar# event! on the we!tern front of the war3 a! to $a%onika3 1!ia3 and a! to the !ituation in France. 1t one LEM of the!e interview!3 one LEM of the #oung officer! a%%owed hi'!e%f to co''unicate a ru'or which !0read through the cit# LEM and who!e origin wa! attri uted to $tockho%' ...? In conc%u!ion3 the 4enera% 0ro'i!ed vague%# 9to take !te0! to 0revent !uch over!ight! LEM in the future.? +hi! wa! too 'uch. 5e had not taught the Pari! radio !tation the ru%e! of decenc# on%# to a%%ow 4enera% Nie!!e% to create a !u !idiar# tower of %ie! in "o!cow. +he !a'e da# I wrote to Nie!!e%& 91. In view of the fact that the 0ro0aganda ureau ca%%ed the ureau of Pinfor'ation> at the French 'i%itar# 'i!!ion ha! acted a! a !ource for the di!!e'ination of wi%fu%%# fa%!e ru'or!3 with the o @ect of !0reading confu!ion and chao! in the 0u %ic 'ind3 thi! ureau i! to e c%o!ed at once. 9I. +he P#oung officer> who fa ricated %#ing re0ort! i! reCue!ted to %eave ,u!!ian territor# at once. I reCue!t #ou to co''unicate the na'e of thi! officer to 'e without de%a#. 3. +he receiving in!ta%%ation of the radio te%egra0h i! to e re'oved fro' the 'i!!ion. T. +he French officer! in the civi%<war -one are to e reca%%ed i''ediate%# to Petrograd3 # an order to e 0u %i!hed in the 0re!!. 5. I reCue!t #ou to infor' 'e of a%% !te0! undertaken # the 'i!!ion in connection with thi! %etter.

Peo0%e>! *o''i!!ar# for Foreign 1ffair!3 L. T!&T)54 +he 9#oung officer? wa! rought out of hi! anon#'it# and %eft ,u!!ia a! a !ca0egoat. +he radio receiving in!ta%%ation wa! re'oved. +he infor'ation ureau wa! c%o!ed. +he officer! were reca%%ed to the centre. )ut thi! wa! on%# 0ett#3 front<%ine !kir'i!hing. It gave wa# to a rief and un!ta %e truce3 after I had gone over to the *o''i!!ariat of 5ar. +he too forthright 4enera% Nie!!e% wa! re0%aced # the in!inuating 4enera% =avergne. +he truce did not %a!t %ong3 however. +he French 'i%itar# 'i!!ion3 %ike the French di0%o'ac#3 !oon eca'e the centre of ever# 0%ot and ar'ed attack again!t the $oviet 0ower. )ut thi! did not deve%o0 o0en%# unti% after )re!t< =itov!k3 during the "o!cow 0eriod3 in the !0ring and !u''er of 191G.

'otes
1. +he $oviet (*ounci%) of Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie! i! the e/ecutive and directive Organ of the *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee of the H$$,. +he *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee act! a! a %egi!%ative od# etween the !e!!ion! of the *ongre!!e! of $oviet!. +he *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee3 or3 a! it i! !o'eti'e! ca%%ed3 the 1%%<Hnion *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee3 i! not to e confu!ed with the 9*entra% *o''ittee3? often 'entioned in the te/tD the %atter i! that of the ,u!!ian *orn'uni!t Part#. B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <<<

0' M&)%&*
+he !igning of the )re!t<=itov!k 0eace treat# dive!ted '# withdrawa% fro' the coni'i!!ariat for foreign affair! of an# 0o%itica% !ignificance. *hicherin had 'eanwhi%e arrived fro' =ondon to !ucceed 'e. I had known *hicherin for a %ong ti'e. In the #ear! of the fir!t revo%ution3 he gave u0 hi! 0o!ition a! a di0%o'atic officia% and went over to the $ocia% 8e'ocrac#. 1! a "en!hevik3 he engaged active%# in the work of the 0art# 9grou0! of a!!i!tance? a road. 1t the out reak of the war3 he a!!u'ed a !tiff%# 0atriotic !tand and tried to defend it in hi! 'an# %etter! fro' =ondon. One or two of the!e %etter! fe%% to '# %ot. (er# !oon3 however3 he drew nearer to the internationa%i!t! and eca'e an active corre!0ondent for the 'ashe )lo o3 which I wa! editing in Pari!. In the end3 he got into an Eng%i!h 0ri!on. I de'anded hi! re%ea!eD the negotiation! were dragging on. I threatened re0ri!a%! again!t Eng%i!h'en. 9+here i!3 after a%%3 !o'ething in +rot!k#>! argu'ent3? )uchanan3 the )riti!h a' a!!ador3 !aid in hi! diar#3 9that if we c%ai' the

right to arre!t ,u!!ian! for 'aking a 0acifi!t 0ro0aganda in a countr# ent on continuing the war3 he ha! an eCua% right to arre!t )riti!h !u @ect! who are conducting a war 0ro0aganda in a countr# ent on 0eace.? *hicherin wa! re%ea!ed. Ae arrived in "o!cow at the 'o!t o00ortune 'o'ent3 and with a !igh of re%ief I handed the di0%o'atic he%' over to hi'. I wa! not a00earing at the 'ini!tr# at a%% then. On rare occa!ion!3 *hicherin wou%d con!u%t 'e # te%e0hone. Not unti% "arch 13 wa! there a 0u %ic announce'ent of '# re!ignation fro' the co''i!!ariat of foreign affair!3 coinciding with the announce'ent of '# a00oint'ent a! war co''i!!ar# and a! chair'an of the $u0re'e 5ar *ounci%3 for'ed on%# a %itt%e whi%e efore on '# initiative. +hu! =enin achieved hi! end after a%%. Ae u!ed '# offer to re!ign in connection with the )re!t< =itov!k di!agree'ent! on%# to carr# out hi! origina% idea3 'odified to 'eet changed circu'!tance!. 1! the ene'# within changed fro' 0%otting to the creating of ar'ie! and att%e front!3 =enin e/0re!!ed the wi!h that I take charge of 'i%itar# o0eration!. Ae had now won over $v#erd%ov to hi! !ide. I tried to argue again!t it. 95ho' e%!e can we a00ointE Na'e the'3? =enin 0re!!ed hi! attack. I thought it over for a 'o'ent3 and con!ented. 5a! I 0re0ared to do 'i%itar# workE Of cour!e not. I had not even had the enefit of !ervice in the *-ar>! ar'#. "# ar'#<!ervice #ear! I had !0ent in 0ri!on3 in e/i%e3 and a road. In 192Q3 the court !entence de0rived 'e of a%% civi% and 'i%itar# right!. 5hi%e !0ending a few 'onth! during the )a%kan war! in $er ia3 )u%garia3 and %ater in ,ou'ania3 I ca'e c%o!er to 'i%itar# affair!. )ut '# a00roach to the!e Cue!tion! wa! # nature !ti%% 0o%itica% rather than 'i%itar#. +he 5or%d 5ar rought ever# one B '#!e%f inc%uded B c%o!e to the Cue!tion! of 'i%itari!'. "# ever#<da# work on the 'ashe )lo o and '# writing for the 5ie skaya Mysl gave 'e the needed !ti'u%u! to !#!te'ati-e '# new know%edge and o !ervation!. )ut there the i'0ortant thing wa! war a! the continuation of 0o%itic!3 and the ar'# a! the in!tru'ent of the %atter. +he 0ro %e'! of 'i%itar# organi-ation and technic were !ti%% in the ackground3 a! far a! I wa! concerned. On the other hand3 the 0!#cho%og# of an ar'#3 in it! arrack!3 trenche!3 att%e!3 ho!0ita%!3 and the %ike3 dee0%# !tirred '# intere!t. +hi! wa! %ater ver# u!efu%. In 0ar%ia'entar# countrie!3 war and nav# 'ini!trie! are often given over to %aw#er! and @ourna%i!t! who3 %ike '#!e%f3 !ee the ar'# chief%# fro' the window of their editoria% office! B a%though the# are 'ore co'forta %e than 'ine were. 1nd #et there wa! an o viou! difference. In ca0ita%i!t countrie! the 0ro %e' i! that of 'aintaining the e/i!ting ar'# B !trict%# !0eaking3 of 'aintaining a 0o%itica% cover for a !e%f<!u!taining !#!te' of 'i%itari!'. 5ith u!3 the 0ro %e' wa! to 'ake a dean !wee0 of the re'ain! of the o%d ar'#3 and in it! 0%ace to ui%d3 under fire3 a new ar'#3 who!e 0%an wa! not to e di!covered in an# ook. +hi! e/0%ain! !ufficient%# wh# I fe%t uncertain a out '# 'i%itar# work3 and con!ented to take it over on%# ecau!e there wa! no one e%!e to do it. I did not think of '#!e%f a! in an# !en!e a !trategi!t3 and had %itt%e 0atience with the !ort of !trategi!t<di%ettanti!' that f%ooded the 0art# a! a re!u%t of the revo%ution. It i! true that on three occa!ion! B in the war with 8enikin3 in the defen!e of Petrograd3 and in the war with Pi%!ud!ki B I took an inde0endent !trategic 0o!ition and defended it fir!t again!t the high co''and3 and again again!t the 'a@orit# of the *entra% *o''ittee. )ut in the!e ca!e! '# !trategic 0o!ition wa!

deter'ined # 0o%itica% and econo'ic con!ideration!3 rather than # tho!e re%ating to 0ure !trateg#. It 'a# e 0ointed out3 however3 that Cue!tion! of high !trateg# cannot e !o%ved in an# other wa#3 after a%%. +he change in '# work coincided with the change of the !eat of the govern'ent. +he tran!fer of the centra% govern'ent to "o!cow wa!3 of cour!e3 a %ow to Petrograd. +here wa! a%'o!t genera% o00o!ition to the tran!fer3 headed # 6inoviev3 who # that ti'e had eco'e the chair'an of the Petrograd $oviet. Ae wa! !u00orted # =unachar!k#3 who had re!igned fro' the govern'ent a few da#! after the revo%ution3 on the ground that he did not wi!h to ear the re!0on!i i%it# for the de!truction (i'aginar#) of $t. )a!i%>! *hurch in "o!cow. Now3 ack at hi! 0o!t3 he wa! unwi%%ing to 0art with the $'o%n# a! 9the !#' o% of the revo%ution.? Other! rought forward 'ore !eriou! argu'ent!. +he 'a@orit# feared chief%# the ad effect of the tran!fer on the Petrograd worker!. Our ene'ie! at that ti'e were circu%ating the ru'or that we had undertaken to hand Petrograd over to Kai!er 5i%he%'. On the contrar#3 =enin and I in!i!ted that the tran!fer of the govern'ent to "o!cow wa! to in!ure not on%# the !afet# of the govern'ent ut of Petrograd it!e%f. +he te'0tation to !ei-e the revo%utionar# ca0ita% and it! govern'ent with it in one !wift %ow cou%d not fai% to a00ea% !trong%# to oth 4er'an# and the 1%%ie!. +o !ei-e a !tarving Petrograd without the govern'ent wou%d e Cuite another 'atter. In the end3 re!i!tance roke down and the 'a@orit# of the *entra% *o''ittee voted for the tran!fer. +he govern'ent actua%%# %eft for "o!cow on "arch 1I3 191G. +o !often the i'0re!!ion that we were de'oting the Octo er ca0ita%3 I re'ained in Petrograd for another week or two. +he rai%wa# ad'ini!tration detained 'e at the !tation for a few e/tra hour!D the !a otage wa! di'ini!hing3 ut it wa! !ti%% con!idera %e. I arrived in "o!cow the da# after I wa! a00ointed war co''i!!ar#. 5ith it! 'edieva% wa%% and it! count%e!! gi%ded cu0o%a!3 the Kre'%in !ee'ed an utter 0arado/ a! a fortre!! for the revo%utionar# dictator!hi0. +o e !ure3 no 'ore had the $'o%n#3 for'er%# a 0rivate !choo% for gir%! of the no i%it#3 een intended for worker!3 !o%dier!3 and 0ea!ant!> de0utie!. Hnti% "arch3 191G3 I had never een in!ide the Kre'%in3 nor did I know "o!cow in genera%3 with the e/ce0tion of one !o%itar# ui%ding3 the )ut#r!k# tran!fer<0ri!on3 in the tower of which I had !0ent !i/ 'onth! during the co%d winter of 1G9G<1G99. 1! a vi!itor3 I 'ight ad'iring%# have conte'0%ated the antiCuitie! of the Kre'%in3 the 0a%ace of Ivan the +erri %e3 with it! throne<roo'. )ut we had to !ett%e down here for a %ong ti'e. +he c%o!e3 da#< #<da# contact of tho!e two hi!torica% 0o%e!3 the two irreconci%a %e cu%ture!3 wa! at once ewi%dering and a'u!ing. 1! I drove a%ong the wood<0aved road 0a!t the Niko%a#ev!k# Pa%ace3 I often %ooked !ide wa#! at the *-ar<gun and the *-ar< e%%. +he heav# ar ari!' of "o!cow !tared fro' the reach in the e%% and fro' the 'u--%e of the gun. Prince Aa'%et wou%d have re0eated on thi! !0ot& 9+he ti'e i! out of @oint B O cur!ed !0ite3 that ever I wa! orn to !et it rightJ? )ut there wa! nothing Aa'%eti!h a out u!. Even when the 'ore i'0ortant Cue!tion! were eing di!cu!!ed3 =enin a%%owed the !0eaker! on%# two 'inute! a0iece. One cou%d 0ro a %# 'editate on the contradiction! in the deve%o0'ent of a ackward countr# for a 'inute or two when da!hing off at a tangent to the Kre'%in 0a!t3 on the wa# fro' one 'eeting to another B ut no %onger than that.

+he Kava%er!k# ui%ding3 o00o!ite the Pot#e!hn# Pa%ace3 efore the revo%ution wa! the %iving Cuarter! of the officia%! of the Kre'%in. +he entire %ower f%oor wa! occu0ied # the co''anding officer. Ai! a0art'ent had now een 'ade into !evera% !'a%%er one!. =enin and I took Cuarter! acro!! the corridor3 !haring the !a'e dining<roo'. +he food at the Kre'%in wa! then ver# ad. In!tead of fre!h 'eat3 the# !erved corned eef. +he f%our and the ar%e# had !and in the'. On%# the red Ket caviare wa! 0%entifu%3 ecau!e it! e/0ort had cea!ed. +hi! inevita %e caviare co%ored the fir!t #ear! of the revo%ution3 and not for 'e a%one. +he 'u!ica% c%ock on the $0a!!k# tower wa! re ui%t. Now the o%d e%%!3 in!tead of ringing out 2od Sa(e the C7ar3 !%ow%# and 0en!ive%# rang out the &nternational3 at Cuarter<hour in terva%!. +he auto'o i%e entrance wa! under the $0a!!k# tower3 through an arched tunne%. Over the tunne%3 there wa! an ancient ikon with a to0 of roken g%a!!D in front of the ikon3 wa! a %a'0 %ong !ince e/tingui!hed. Often when one ca'e out of the Kre'%in3 one>! e#e! wou%d fa!ten on the ikon3 whi%e one>! ear! wou%d catch the 0ea% of the &nternational fro' overhead. 1nd over the tower3 with it! e%%3 wa! a dou %e<headed gi%t eag%e which ro!e @u!t a! efore3 e/ce0t that it! crown had een re'oved. I advi!ed !etting the ha''er<and<!ick%e u0 a ove the eag%e3 !o that the reach in the ti'e! 'ight %ook down fro' the height of the $0a!!k# tower. )ut for one rea!on or another it wa! never done. =enin and I 'et a do-en ti'e! a da# in the corridor3 and ca%%ed on each other to ta%k thing! over. $o'eti'e! the!e ta%k! %a!ted a! %ong a! ten or even fifteen 'inute! B a %ong ti'e for u!. In that 0eriod3 =enin wa! rather ta%kative B @udged3 of cour!e3 # hi! own !tandard. +here were !o 'an# new thing!3 thing! utter%# !trange to u!3 to 0re0are for. 5e had to create our!e%ve! and the other! to fit in with the new condition!3 and according%# we fe%t the need of 0a!!ing fro' the 0articu%ar to the genera% and the other wa# a out. +he %itt%e c%oud of the )re!t<=itov!k di!agree'ent! L1M had di!0er!ed3 %eaving never a trace. =enin wa! ver# cordia% and con!iderate oth to 'e and to '# fa'i%#. Ae often !to00ed our o#! in the corridor to 0%a# with the'. +he furniture in '# roo' wa! Kare%ian irch. Over the fire0%ace a c%ock !truck the hour! in a thin3 !i%ver voice fro' eneath a *u0id and P!#che. Ever#thing in the roo' wa! inco'0ati %e with work. +he aro'a of the id%e %ife of the 'a!ter c%a!! e'anated fro' ever# chair. )ut I took even '# a0art'ent on the wingD thi! wa! a%% the 'ore true ecau!e during tho!e #ear! I !%e0t in it on%# on '# rief vi!it! to "o!cow fro' the front. I think it wa! the ver# fir!t da# of '# arriva% fro' Petrograd3 whi%e =enin and I were having a chat in the 'id!t of a%% that Kare%ian irch3 that the *u0id and hi! P!#che interru0ted u! with their !inging3 !i%ver e%%!. 5e %ooked at each other a! if we had oth caught our!e%ve! thinking the !a'e thingD we were eing overheard # the 0a!t3 %urking over there in the corner. $urrounded # it on a%% !ide! a! we were3 we treated it without re!0ect3 ut without ho!ti%it# either3 rather with a touch of iron#. It wou%d e incorrect to i'0%# that we got u!ed to the !urrounding! in the Kre'%in. Our %ive! were too d#na'ic for thatD we had no ti'e to get u!ed to an#thing. 5e !aw the !urrounding! out of the corner! of our e#e!3 and !aid in i'agination to the *u0id! and P!#che!3 in a tone at once ironica% and encouraging& 9You did not e/0ect u!E *an>t e he%0edJ 4et u!ed to u!3 nowJ? 5e were 'aking our !urrounding! accu!to' the'!e%ve! to u!.

+he %ower rank! of the o%d !taff were retained at their 0o!t!. +he# received u! a %itt%e fearfu%%#. +he regi'e here had een a !tern one3 dating fro' the da#! of !erfdo'3 and the !ervice had 0a!!ed fro' father to !on. 1'ong the count%e!! f%unke#! and other attendant! at the Kre'%in were 'an# o%d 'en who had waited on !evera% e'0eror! in their ti'e. One of the'3 $tu0i!hin3 a %itt%e3 c%ean<!haven 'an3 wa! a dutifu% fe%%ow who had een feared # a%% the attendant! in hi! da#. Now the #ounger one! %ooked at hi' with a re!0ect that wa! 'ing%ed with a new cha%%enge. Ae !huff%ed tire%e!!%# a%ong the corridor!3 0utting chair! in their 0%ace!3 du!ting the' off3 and genera%%# kee0ing u0 the a00earance of the o%d order. 1t dinner we were given thin vegeta %e !ou0 and un0o%i!hed uckwheat3 !erved on 0%ate! adorned with eag%e!. 95hat i! he doingE =ookJ? whi!0ered $er#o-ha to hi! 'other. +he o%d 'an wa! 'oving %ike a !hadow ehind the chair! and !i%ent%# turning the 0%ate! thi! wa# or that. $er#o-ha wa! the fir!t to gue!! it& the dou %e<headed eag%e on the ri' of the 0%ate 'u!t e right<!ide<u0 to face the gue!t. 98id #ou notice o%d $tu0i!hinE? I a!ked =enin. 9Aow can #ou he%0 noticing hi'E? he re0%ied3 in a tone of gent%e iron#. $o'eti'e! one fe%t !orr# for the!e o%d 'en who had een 0u%%ed3 root and ranch3 fro' their e%e'ent. $tu0i!hin wa! !oon fir'%# attached to =eninD when the %atter 'oved to another ui%ding nearer to the $oviet of *o''i!!arie!3 he tran!ferred hi! devotion to '# wife and 'e3 o !erving that we a00reciated order and va%ued hi! care. +he entire !taff of attendant! wa! !oon di!!o%ved. +he #oung one! Cuick%# ada0ted the'!e%ve! to the new condition!. $tu0i!hin did not want to e 0ut on a 0en!ion3 and !o he wa! tran!ferred to a great 0a%ace that had een changed into a 'u!eu'. Ae wou%d often ca%% at the Kava%er!k# ui%ding to %ook u! u0. 1fterward he wa! door'an in front of the 1ndre#ev!k# ha%% in the 0a%ace3 during the congre!!e! and conference!. 1round hi' there wa! a%wa#! orderD he 0erfor'ed the !a'e dutie! that he had at the rece0tion! of the *-ar! and the 4rand 8uke!3 e/ce0t that now it wa! the *o''uni!t Internationa%. Ae wa! fated3 %ike the c%ock< e%%! in the $0a!!k# tower3 to change hi! tune fro' the *-ar>! h#'n to the h#'n of the revo%ution. In 19IQ3 when the o%d 'an wa! d#ing a %ingering death in a ho!0ita%3 '# wife !ent hi' 0re!ent! and he we0t with gratitude. $oviet "o!cow received u! chaotica%%#. "o!cow3 it !ee'ed3 had it! own $oviet of Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie! under the chair'an!hi0 of the hi!torian Pokrov!k#3 the %a!t 'an in the wor%d to ho%d !uch a 0o!t. +he authorit# of the "o!cow $oviet e/tended a%% through the "o!cow region3 who!e oundarie! no one cou%d define. In the north3 it c%ai'ed the 1rchange% 0rovinceD in the !outh3 the 0rovince of Kur!k. 1nd !o in "o!cow we di!covered a govern'ent that had authorit#3 dou tfu% a! it wa!3 over the 'ain !ection of the $oviet territor#. +he traditiona% antagoni!' etween "o!cow and Petrograd !urvived the Octo er revo%ution. Once u0on a ti'e3 "o!cow had een a ig vi%%age3 and Petrograd a cit#. "o!cow re0re!ented the %andowner! and 'erchant!3 Petrograd the 'i%itar# and the officia%!. "o!cow wa! regarded a! fu%%< %ooded ,u!!ian3 $%avo0hi%e3 ho!0ita %e B in other word!3 the ver# heart of ,u!!ia. Petrograd wa! Euro0ean3 i'0er!ona%3 egoti!tic3 the ureaucratic rain! of the countr#. "o!cow deve%o0ed the te/ti%e indu!trie!3 Petrograd tho!e of 'eta%<working. +he antithe!e! re0re!ented %iterar# e/aggeration! of actua% difference!. 5e fe%t the' at once. +he %oca% 0atrioti!' e/tended even to the native "o!cow )o%!hevi!t!. 1 !0ecia% co''i!!ion wa! !et u03 with 'e a! chair'an3 to regu%ate

re%ation! with the "o!cow $oviet of *o''i!!arie!. It wa! a curiou! !ort of work. 5e di!!ected the regiona% co''i!!ariat! 0atient%#3 and took for the centra% govern'ent what 0ro0er%# e%onged to it. 1! we 0rogre!!ed with the work3 it eca'e Cuite evident that the !econd "o!cow govern'ent wa! unnece!!ar#. +he "u!covite! the'!e%ve! rea%i-ed the need of winding u0 their $oviet of *o''i!!arie!. +he "o!cow 0eriod3 for the !econd ti'e in ,u!!ian hi!tor#3 eca'e one of gathering the !tate together and of creating organ! of ad'ini!tration. =enin now wa! !howing i'0atience3 iron#3 and !o'eti'e! downright itter 'ocker# in ru!hing a!ide 0eo0%e who continued to an!wer a%% Cue!tion! in ter'! of 0ro0agandi!t for'u%a!. 95here do #ou think #ou are3 '# 'anE In the $'o%n#E? he wou%d !hoot at the'3 with a ferocit# !oftened # hi! good hu'or. 9+he verie!t $'o%n#3? he wou%d interru0t a !0eaker who wa! not ta%king u!ine!!. 9P%ea!e wake u0D we are not at the $'o%n#3 we have gone ahead !ince then.? =enin never !0ared vigorou! word! a out the 0a!t3 when it wa! nece!!ar# to 0re0are for the ne/t da#. 5e were ar' in ar' in thi! work. =enin wa! ver# 'ethodica%D I wa! even 0edantic. 5e waged a tire%e!! fight again!t !%oven%ine!! and %a/it# of an# !ort. 1t '# !ugge!tion3 !trict ru%e! again!t %ateco'er! and the %ate o0ening of 'eeting! were 0a!!ed. $te0 # !te03 chao! #ie%ded to order. )efore the !e!!ion! at which Cue!tion! of 0rinci0%e or 'atter! deriving i'0ortance fro' the conf%ict! etween de0art'ent! were to e di!cu!!ed3 =enin wou%d in!i!t # te%e0hone that I acCuaint '#!e%f with the !u @ect in advance. +he current %iterature on the di!agree'ent! etween =enin and +rot!k# i! fu%% of a0ocr#0ha. Of cour!e there were !o'eti'e! di!agree'ent!. )ut far 'ore often we ca'e to the !a'e conc%u!ion after we had e/changed a few word! # te%e0hone3 or e%!e inde0endent%# of each other. 5hen it wa! o viou! that we oth had the !a'e o0inion a out a certain 'atter3 we knew that we wou%d get the nece!!ar# deci!ion ado0ted. )ut at ti'e! when =enin wa! afraid that there 'ight e !eriou! o00o!ition to one of hi! 0ro@ect!3 he wou%d re'ind 'e # te%e0hone& 98on>t fai% to co'e to the 'eetingJ I>%% have #ou !0eak fir!t.? I wou%d ta%k for a few 'inute!3 and =enin wou%d !a# 9,ightJ? 0erha0! twice during '# !0eech3 and that wou%d decide the vote. Not ecau!e the other! were afraid to o00o!e u! B at that ti'e there wa! no !ign of the 0re!ent 0ractice of kee0ing in %ine with #our !u0erior! and of the revo%ting fear of co'0ro'i!ing #our!e%f # an ina00ro0riate word or vote B ut ecau!e the %e!! the ureaucratic !u !ervience3 the greater the authorit# of %eader!hi0. 5hen I di!agreed with =enin3 a fevered di!cu!!ion not on%# cou%d ut !o'eti'e! did deve%o0. )ut when we agreed3 the di!cu!!ion wa! a%wa#! rief. If3 for !o'e rea!on3 we were una %e to ta%k thing! over in advance3 we wou%d e/change note! during the 'eeting3 and if the!e revea%ed !o'e di!agree'ent etween u!3 =enin wou%d !o guide di!cu!!ion a! to defer the i!!ue. $o'e ti'e! in note! !tating '# di!agree'ent with hi'3 I wou%d write in a hu'orou! vein3 and =enin>! who%e od# wou%d !hake whi%e he read the'. Ae wa! ver# !u!ce0ti %e to %aughter3 e!0ecia%%# when he wa! tired. It wa! one of hi! chi%d<%ike trait!D in that 'an%ie!t of a%% 'en there were 'an# chi%d< %ike trait!. I wou%d watch hi' in de%ight a! he !trugg%ed !o hard to overco'e a fit of %aughter whi%e tr#ing to direct the 'eeting with the ut'o!t !eriou!ne!!. Ai! cheek< one! then wou%d u%ge even 'ore under the !train. +he war co''i!!ariat3 where 'o!t of '# work wa! done B not on%# '# 'i%itar# work ut 0art# and %iterar# work3 or an# other ta!k there wa! for 'e B wa! !ituated out!ide of the Kre'%in. I had

on%# '# %iving Cuarter! in the Kava%er!k# ui%ding. No one ca'e to !ee u! there. Peo0%e who ca'e to !ee 'e on u!ine!! ca'e to the co''i!!ariat. 1! for !ocia% vi!it! B no one ever thought of !uch a thingD we were 'uch too u!# for that. 5e returned ho'e fro' work at a out five o>c%ock. )# !even I wa! ack at the co''i!!ariat3 for the evening !e!!ion!. 5hen3 'uch %ater3 the revo%ution had !ett%ed down a %itt%e3 I devoted '# evening! to theoretica% and %iterar# work. "# wife @oined the co''i!!ariat of education and wa! 0%aced in charge of 'u!eu'! and ancient 'onu'ent!. It wa! her dut# to fight for the 'onu'ent! of the 0a!t again!t the condition! of civi% war. It wa! a difficu%t 'atter. Neither the 5hite nor the ,ed troo0! were 'uch inc%ined to %ook out for hi!torica% e!tate!3 0rovincia% Kre'%in!3 or ancient churche!. +hi! %ed to 'an# argu'ent! etween the war co''i!!ariat and the de0art'ent of 'u!eu'!. +he guardian! of the 0a%ace! and churche! accu!ed the troo0! of %ack of re!0ect for cu%tureD the 'i%itar# co''i!!arie! accu!ed the guardian! of 0referring dead o @ect! to %iving 0eo0%e. For'a%%#3 it %ooked a! if I were engaged in an end%e!! de0art'enta% Cuarre% with '# wife. "an# @oke! were 'ade a out u! on thi! !core. I now co''unicated with =enin chief%# # te%e0hone. Ai! ca%%! to 'e and 'ine to hi' were ver# freCuent3 and referred to an infinite nu' er of thing!. +he de0art'ent! often othered hi' with co'0%aint! again!t the ,ed ar'#D =enin wou%d i''ediate%# ca%% 'e. Five 'inute! %ater he wou%d want to know if I cou%d 'eet a new candidate for the 0eo0%e>! co''i!!ar# of agricu%ture or in!0ection3 and te%% hi' what I thought of hi'. 1n hour %ater3 he wa! intere!ted to know if I had watched the theoretica% di!cu!!ion on 0ro%etarian cu%ture3 and whether I intended to 'ake a counter<attack on )ukharin. +hen the Cue!tion wou%d e& *ou%d the war de0art'ent on the !outhern front a%%ot 'otor<truck! for the tran!0ort of food<!u00%ie! to the !tation!E 1nother ha%f< hour wou%d ring =enin>! inCuir# whether I wa! fo%%owing the di!agree'ent! in the $wedi!h co''uni!t 0art#. 1nd that wa! the wa# it went ever# da# that I wa! in "o!cow. Fro' the 'o'ent of the 4er'an advance3 the ehavior of the French B at %ea!t the 'ore !en!i %e of the' B changed !udden%#D the# had rea%i-ed the !tu0idit# of the ta%k a out our !ecret dea% with the Aohen-o%%ern!. It wa! @u!t a! c%ear to the' that we cou%d not engage in a war. $o'e of the French officer! even in!i!ted on our !igning the 0eace in order to gain ti'e. +hi! idea wa! defended with !0ecia% energ# # a French inte%%igence officer3 an ari!tocrat and ro#a%i!t with an artificia% e#e3 who offered 'e hi! !ervice! for the 'o!t dangerou! co''i!!ion!. 4enera% =avergne3 who had re0%aced Nie!!e%3 gave 'e freCuent advice in a cautiou! and rather !oft<!0oken 'anner B advice of %itt%e va%ue ut in a00earance we%% 'eant. 1ccording to hi'3 the French govern'ent now acce0ted the conc%u!ion of the 0eace of )re!t<=itov!k3 and wa! an/iou! on%# to %end u! it! di!intere!ted he%0 in the ui%ding u0 of the ar'#. Ae offered to 0%ace at '# di!0o!a% the officer! of the 'an# French 'i!!ion! returning fro' ,ou'ania. +wo of the'3 a co%one% and a ca0tain3 took Cuarter! o00o!ite the ui%ding of the war co''i!!ariat3 !o that I 'ight a%wa#! have the' c%o!e at hand. I 'u!t confe!! that I !u!0ected the' of eing 'ore co'0etent in 'i%itar# e!0ionage than in 'i%itar# ad'ini!tration. +he# !u 'itted written re0ort! to 'e which3 in the confu!ion of tho!e da#!3 I had not even ti'e to %ook over. One of the e0i!ode! of that rief 9truce? wa! the 0re!entation to 'e of the 'i%itar# 'i!!ion! of the 1%%ie!. +here were 'an# of the'3 and each wa! co'0o!ed of a nu' er of 'en. 1 out twent# of their re0re!entative! ca'e into '# tin# roo'. =avergne 'ade the 0re!entation!. $o'e of the'

uttered %itt%e 0%ea!antrie!. 1 !oft<%ooking Ita%ian genera% di!tingui!hed hi' !e%f # congratu%ating 'e on our !ucce!! in ridding "o!cow of andit!. 9Now3? he !aid with a char'ing !'i%e3 9one can %ive in "o!cow a! !afe%# a! in an# other ca0ita%.? I re'arked that thi! wa! rather an e/aggeration. 1fter thi!3 we %itera%%# did not know what to !a# to each other. +he vi!itor! cou%d not race the'!e%ve! to get u0 and %eave3 and I did not know how to get rid of the'. Fina%%#3 4enera% =avergne re!cued u! fro' thi! difficu%t !ituation # a!king if I wou%d o @ect if the 'i%itar# re0re!entative! were to take no 'ore of '# ti'e. I an!wered that3 a%though I wa! %oath to 0art with !o !e%ect a co'0an#3 I wou%d not dare to o @ect. Ever# one ha! had !cene! in hi! %ife that he can reca%% on%# with a !o'ewhat e' arra!!ed %augh. "# 'eeting with the 'i%itar# 'i!!ion! of the 1%%ie! wa! that !ort. 4radua%%# 'i%itar# affair! a !or ed 'o!t of '# ti'e3 the 'ore !o ecau!e I had '#!e%f to !tart with the 1)*>!. In the techinica% !0here and in that of o0eration!3 I !aw '# ta!k chief%# a! a 'atter of 0utting the right 'an in the right 0%ace3 and then %etting hi' e/erci!e hi! a i%itie!. "# 0o%itica% and organi-ation work in creating the ar'# 'erged co'0%ete%# with the work of the 0art#. $ucce!! wou%d never have een 0o!!i %e in an# other wa#. 1'ong the 0art# worker! at the war co''i!!ariat I found the ar'# doctor $k%#an!k#. In !0ite of hi! #outh (in 191G he wa! are%# IQ) he wa! con!0icuou! for hi! u!ine!!%ike 'ethod!3 hi! indu!tr#3 and hi! ta%ent for a00rai!ing 0eo0%e and circu'!tance! B in other word!3 for the Cua%itie! that 'ake an ad'ini!trator. 1fter con!u%ting $v#erd%ov3 who wa! inva%ua %e in !uch 'atter!3 I cho!e $k%#an!k# a! '# de0ut#. I never had an# occa!ion to regret it afterward. +he dut# of de0uti-ing for 'e invo%ved great re!0on!i i%it# ecau!e I wa! at the front 'o!t of the ti'e. In '# a !ence3 $k%#an!k# 0re!ided over the ,evo%utionar# 5ar *ounci%3 directed a%% the current work of the co''i!!ariat3 which con!i!ted chief%# of attending to the need! of the front3 and fina%%# re0re!ented the war co''i!!ariat on the *ounci% of 8efen!e3 of which =enin wa! chair'an. If an# one cou%d e co'0ared with =a-are *arnot of the French ,evo%ution3 it i! $k%#an!k#. Ae wa! a%wa#! e/act3 indefatiga %e3 a%ert3 and we%%<infor'ed. "o!t of the order! fro' the war co''i!!ariat were i!!ued over hi! !ignature. 1nd !ince the!e order! were 0u %i!hed in the centra% organ! and %oca% 0u %ication!3 $k%#an!k#>! na'e eca'e wide%# known. =ike ever# !eriou! and rigorou! ad'ini!trator3 he had 'an# ene'ie!. Ai! #outhfu% a i%itie! irritated not a few 'ediocre worthie!D $ta%in !tirred the' u0 ehind the !cene!. 1ttack! again!t $k%#an!k# were 'ade !urre0titiou!%#3 and e!0ecia%%# when I wa! awa#. =enin knew $k%#an!k# we%%3 through the *ounci% of 8efen!e3 and a%wa#! defended hi' with great -ea%. 91 !0%endid worker3? he wou%d invaria %# !a#3 9a re'arka %e worker.? $ki#an!k# ke0t awa# fro' a%% the!e intrigue! and workedD he %i!tened to the re0ort! of the Cuarter'a!ter!3 gathered infor'ation fro' the indu!trie!3 ke0t count of cartridge!3 of which there wa! a%wa#! a !hortage. $'oking end%e!!%#3 he !0oke # direct wire3 ca%%ed on the te%e0hone the chief officer!3 and 0re0ared data for the *ounci% of 8efen!e. One cou%d ca%% hi' at two or three in the 'orning3 and find hi' !ti%% at hi! de!k in the co''i!!ariat. 95hen do #ou !%ee0E? I wou%d a!k hi'. Ae wou%d re0%# with a @e!t. It 'ake! 'e ha00# to re'e' er that the war de0art'ent wa! a%'o!t free fro' the 0er!ona% c%iCue! and !Cua %e! that affected the other de0art'ent! !o grave%#. +he !trenuou! nature of the work3 the authorit# of %eader!hi03 the correct choice of worker! (without ne0oti!' or %enienc#) B

the !0irit of e/acting %o#a%t# B it wa! the!e that in!ured uninterru0ted work fro' a 'echani!' that wa! cu' er!o'e3 not ver# we%% a%anced3 and ver# heterogeneou! in it! co'0o!ition. "uch of the credit for thi! i! due to $k%#an!k#. +he civi% war ke0t 'e awa# fro' the work in the $oviet of *o''i!!arie!. I %ived now in a rai%wa#<carriage or in an auto'o i%e. 1fter week! and 'onth! of !uch trave%%ing3 I got !o co'0%ete%# out of touch with the current govern'ent u!ine!! that I cou%d not 0ick u0 the thread! again in '# rief vi!it! to "o!cow. +he 'o!t i'0ortant Cue!tion!3 however3 were decided at the Po%it ureau. LIM $o'eti'e! I wou%d return !0ecia%%# for the 'eeting of the Po%it ureau3 in an!wer to =enin>! !u''on!. Or !o'eti'e!3 through $v#erd%ov3 I wou%d ca%% an e/traordinar# 'eeting of the Po%it ureau to di!cu!! i'0ortant Cue!tion! that I had rought with 'e fro' the front. 8uring the!e #ear! '# corre!0ondence with =enin wa! %arge%# confined to 'atter! re%ating to the civi% warD there were !hort note! or %ong te%egra'! either to !u00%e'ent 0reviou! conver!ation! or to %a# the ground work for future one!. In !0ite of their u!ine!!%ike revit#3 the!e docu'ent! !how3 etter than an#thing e%!e3 the actua% re%ation! within the %eading grou0 of the )o%!hevik!. I wi%% 0u %i!h thi! e/ten!ive corre!0ondence in the near future3 with the nece!!ar# co''entarie!. It wi%% a00ear a! a dead%# re utta% of the work of the hi!torian! of the $ta%in !choo%. 5hen 5i%!on wa! 0%anning B a'ong hi! other ane'ic 0rofe!!oria% uto0ia! B a conci%iation conference of a%% the govern'ent! of ,u!!ia3 =enin on 7anuar# IT3 19193 !ent a coded te%egra' to 'e on the !outhern front& 95i%!on 0ro0o!e! truce and invite! a%% the govern'ent! of ,u!!ia to a conference ... It wi%% e #ou who wi%% 0ro a %# have to go to 5i%!on.? +he difference at the ti'e of the )re!t<=itov!k negotiation! did not 0revent =enin fro' turning to 'e again when an i'0ortant di0%o'atic ta!k had to e 'et3 a%though at that ti'e I wa! co'0%ete%# a !or ed in '# 'i%itar# work. 1! ever# od# know!3 nothing ca'e of 5i%!on>! 0eace'aking effort!3 and !o I had no occa!ion to go to the conference. 1!ide fro' the hundred! of te!ti'onia%! # =enin hi'!e%f3 there i! a vivid account # "a/i' 4ork# of hi! attitude toward '# war work& 9$triking the ta %e with hi! hand3 he L=eninM !aid& P*ou%d an# one 0oint out to 'e another 'an who cou%d organi-e an a%'o!t 'ode% ar'# in a #ear and even win the re!0ect of 'i%itar# e/0ert!E 5e have !uch a 'anJ 5e have ever#thing. 1nd there wi%% e 'irac%e!.>? 1ccording to 4ork#3 =enin !aid to hi' in the !a'e conver!ation& 9Ye!3 #e!. I know. $o'e %ie! are eing to%d a out '# re%ation! to hi'. +oo 'an# %ie! are eing to%d3 and e!0ecia%%# a out 'e and +rot!k#.? 5hat wou%d =enin have !aid to<da#3 when the %#ing a out our 'utua% re%ation!3 de!0ite fact!3 docu'ent! and %ogic3 ha! eco'e a !tate cu%tE 5hen I wa! dec%ining the co''i!!ariat of ho'e affair! on the !econd da# after the revo%ution3 I rought u03 a'ong other thing!3 the Cue!tion of race. It wou%d !ee' that in war u!ine!! thi! con!ideration !hou%d have invo%ved even greater co'0%ication! than in civi% ad'ini!tration. )ut =enin 0roved to e right. In the #ear! of the revo%utionar# ascendancy3 thi! Cue!tion never had the !%ighte!t i'0ortance. Of cour!e3 the 5hite! tried to deve%o0 anti<$e'itic 'otif! in their 0ro0aganda in the ,ed ar'#3 ut the# fai%ed !igna%%#. +here are 'an# te!ti'onia%! to thi!3 even in the 5hite 0re!!. In Ar+hi es of the !"ssian !e ol"tion3 0u %i!hed in )er%in3 a 5hite 4uard writer re%ate! the fo%%owing !triking e0i!ode& 91 *o!!ack who ca'e to !ee u! wa! hurt #

!o'eone>! taunt that he not on%# !erved under3 ut fought under the co''and of a 7ew B +rot!k# B and retorted with war' conviction& PNothing of the !ort. +rot!k# i! not a 7ew. +rot!k# i! a fighter. Ae>! our! ... ,u!!ianJ ... It i! =enin who i! a co''uni!t3 a 7ew3 ut +rot!k# i! our! ... a fighter ... ,u!!ian ... our ownJ>? +he !a'e 'otif wi%% e found in The 3orse Ar1y3 # )a e%3 the 'o!t ta%ented of our #ounger writer!. +he Cue!tion of '# 7ewi!h origin acCuired i'0ortance on%# after I had eco'e a !u @ect for 0o%itica% aiting. 1nti<$e'iti!' rai!ed it! head with that of anti<+rot!k#i!'. +he# oth derived fro' the !a'e !ource B the 0ett# ourgeoi! reaction again!t Octo er.

'otes
1. E/0%ained in the en!uing cha0ter! B Trans. I. +he Po%it ureau (an a reviation of the 9Po%itica% )ureau?) i! an organi-ation within the *entra% *o''ittee of the *o''uni!t Part# which contro%! the 0o%ic#. B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <<<0

'(7&T0AT0&') AT 8!()T>L0T&V)5
+he decree that announced our wi%%ingne!! to 'ake 0eace wa! 0a!!ed # the *ongre!! of $oviet! on Octo er IQ3 when on%# Petrograd wa! in our hand!. On Nove' er ;3 I !ent an a00ea% # radio to the 1%%ied countrie! and to the *entra% Power!3 inviting the' to conc%ude a genera% 0eace. +hrough their agent!3 the 1%%ied govern'ent! re0%ied to 4enera% 8ukhonin3 the ,u!!ian *o''ander<in<chief3 that an# further !te0! in the direction of !e0arate negotiation! wou%d entai% 9the grave!t con!eCuence!.? I re0%ied to thi! threat with an a00ea% to a%% worker!3 !o%dier! and 0ea!ant!. It wa! a categorica% a00ea%& 5hen we overthrew our bourgeoisie3 it wa! not to 'ake our ar'# !hed it! %ood at the order of a foreign bourgeoisie. On Nove' er II3 we !igned an agree'ent for a truce a%ong the entire front3 fro' the )a%tic to the )%ack $ea. Once 'ore we invited the 1%%ie! to @oin u! in the 0eace negotiation!. No re0%# wa! forthco'ing3 ut neither were an# 'ore threat!D the 1%%ied govern'ent! !ee'ed to have %earned !o'ething. +he 0eace negotiation! egan on 8ece' er 93 !i/ week! after the ado0tion of the decree of 0eace3 which %eft the countrie! of the Entente !ufficient ti'e to deter'ine their attitude

on thi! Cue!tion. 1t the out!et3 our de%egation 'ade a for'a% dec%aration !tating the 0rinci0%e! of de'ocratic 0eace. +he o00o!ing !ide de'anded an ad@ourn'ent. +he re!u'0tion of the conference wa! 0ut off ti'e and again. +he de%egation! of the Cuadru0%e a%%iance had to co0e with a%% kind! of interna% difficu%tie! in fra'ing their re0%# to u!3 fina%%# given on 8ece' er I5. +he govern'ent! of the Cuadru0%e a%%iance 9!u !cri ed? to the de'ocratic for'u%a of 0eace B no anne/ation!3 no inde'nitie!3 and !e%f<deter'ination for the 0eo0%e!. On 8ece' er IG3 a huge de'on!tration wa! he%d in Petrograd3 in honor of de'ocratic 0eace. +hough the 'a!!e! 'i!tru!ted the 4er'an re0%#3 the# acce0ted it a! a great 'ora% victor# for the revo%ution. +he ne/t 'orning3 our de%egation returned fro' )re!t<=itov!k3 ringing with it the 'on!trou! de'and! that KUh%'ann had !u 'itted on eha%f of the *entra% Power!. 9+o de%a# negotiation!3 there 'u!t e !o'eone to do the de%a#ing3? !aid =enin. 1t hi! in!i!tence3 I !et off for )re!t<=itov!k. I confe!! I fe%t a! if I were eing %ed to the torture cha' er. )eing with !trange and a%ien 0eo0%e a%wa#! had arou!ed '# fear!D it did e!0ecia%%# on thi! occa!ion. I a !o%ute%# cannot under!tand revo%utionarie! who wi%%ing%# acce0t 0o!t! a! a' a!!ador! and fee% %ike fi!h in water in their new !urrounding!. 1t )re!t<=itov!k3 the fir!t $oviet de%egation3 headed # 7offe3 wa! treated in a 'o!t ingratiating wa# # the 4er'an!. Prince =eo0o%d of )avaria received the' a! hi! 9gue!t!.? 1%% the de%egation! had dinner and !u00er together. 4enera% Aoff'ann 'u!t have o !erved with con!idera %e intere!t the wo'an de%egate (it-enko3 who had a!!a!!inated 4enera% $akharov. +he 4er'an! took their !eat! etween our 'en3 and tried to wor' out of the' whatever infor'ation the# wanted. +he fir!t de%egation inc%uded a worker3 a 0ea!ant3 and a !o%dier. +he# were de%egate! # 'ere accident3 and the# were %itt%e 0re0ared for that !ort of tricker#. +he 0ea!ant3 an o%d 'an3 wa! even encouraged to drink 'ore wine than wa! good for hi'. 4enera% Aoff'ann>! !taff wa! 0u %i!hing a 0a0er ca%%ed !"ssky Vyestnik (The !"ssian Messen#er) for the enefit of the ,u!!ian 0ri!oner!D in it! ear%# 0ha!e! it a%wa#! !0oke of the )o%!hevik! with the 'o!t touching !#'0ath#. 9Our reader! a!k u! who +rot!k# i!3? Aoff'ann infor'ed hi! ,u!!ian 0ri!oner! in hi! 0a0er3 and with ad'iring affection to%d the' of '# !trugg%e again!t *-ari!'3 and of '# 4er'an ook !"ssland in der !e ol"tion. 9+he who%e revo%utionar# wor%d wa! thri%%ed # hi! !ucce!!fu% e!ca0e.? 1nd farther on& 95hen *-ari!' wa! overthrown3 it! !ecret friend! threw +rot!k# into 0ri!on !oon after he had returned fro' a %ong e/i%e.? In a word3 there were no 'ore ardent revo%utionarie! than =eo0o%d of )avaria and Aoff'ann of Pru!!ia. )ut thi! id#% did not %a!t %ong. 1t the 'eeting of the )re!t<=itov!k conference of Fe ruar# ;3 which ore the %ea!t 0o!!i %e re!e' %ance to an id#%%3 I re'arked3 referring to the 0a!t& 95e are inc%ined to regret the 0re'ature co'0%i'ent! 0aid u! # the officia% 4er'an and 1u!tro< Aungarian 0re!!. +hi! wa! Cuite unnece!!ar# for the !ucce!!fu% 0rogre!! of 0eace negotiation!.? In thi! affair3 the $ocia% 8e'ocrac# wa! again no 'ore than the !hadow of the Aohen-o%%ern and Aa0! urg govern'ent!. $cheide'ann3 E ert and other! tried at fir!t to !%a0 u! 0atroni-ing%# on the ack. +he (ienna Ar,eiter>;eit"n# wrote e%oCuent%# on 8ece' er 15 that 9the due%

etween +rot!k# and )uchanan i! the !#' o% of the great !trugg%e of our da#3 the !trugg%e of the 0ro%etariat again!t ca0ita%.? In the da#! when KUh%'ann and *-ernin were tr#ing to !trang%e the ,u!!ian revo%ution at )re!t<=itov!k3 the 1u!trian "ar/i!t! were a %e to !ee nothing ut a 9due%? etween +rot!k# and B )uchananJ Even to<da# one view! !uch h#0ocri!# on%# with di!gu!t. 9+rot!k#3? wrote the Aa0! urg "ar/i!t!3 9i! the authori-ed re0re!entative of the 0eacefu% wi%% of the ,u!!ian working c%a!! that i! tr#ing to reak the iron<go%d chain with which it ha! een ound # Eng%i!h ca0ita%.? +he %eader! of the $ocia% 8e'ocrac# vo%untari%# chained the'!e%ve! to 1u!tro<4er'an ca0ita%3 and were he%0ing their govern'ent! forci %# to chain the ,u!!ian revo%ution. 1t the 'o!t difficu%t !tage! of the )re!t<=itov!k negotiation!3 when =enin or I wou%d co'e acro!! a co0# of the )er%in VorwFrts3 or the (ienna Ar,eiter ;eit"n#3 we wou%d !i%ent%# 0oint out to each other the %ine! under!cored with a co%ored 0enci%3 %ift our e#e! to one another for a 'o'ent3 and then turn awa# with an inordinate !en!e of !ha'e for the 'en who3 on%# the da# efore3 had een our co'rade! in the Internationa%. Ever# one who con!ciou!%# 0a!!ed through thi! !tage rea%i-ed forever that3 whatever the f%uctuation! of the 0o%itica% !ituation3 the $ocia% 8e'ocrac# wa! hi!torica%%# dead. +o end thi! i'0ro0er 'a!Cuerade3 I a!ked in our own 0a0er! if the 4er'an !taff wou%d not e !o good a! to te%% the 4er'an !o%dier! !o'ething a out Kar% =ie knecht and ,o!a =u/e' urg. 5e 0u %i!hed a !0ecia% %eaf%et on the !u @ect for the 4er'an !o%dier!3 and the Vyestnik of 4enera% Aoff'ann it it! tongue. I''ediate%# after '# arriva% at )re!t<=itov!k3 Aoff'ann 0rote!ted again!t our 0ro0aganda a'ong the troo0!. I refu!ed to di!cu!! the 'atter3 and !ugge!ted that the 4enera% continue hi! own 0ro0aganda a'ong the ,u!!ian troo0! B the condition! were the !a'e3 the on%# difference eing in the kind of 0ro0aganda. I a%!o re'inded hi' that the di!!i'i%arit# of our view! on certain rather i'0ortant Cue!tion! had %ong een known3 and had even een certified to # one of the 4er'an court! B the one that during the war had !entenced 'e in contu'ac# to 0ri!on. +hi! indecorou! re'inder created a great !en!ation. "an# of the tit%ed gent%e'en a%'o!t ga!0ed. +urning to Aoff'ann3 KUh%'ann a!ked3 95ou%d #ou %ike to re0%#E? +o which Aoff'ann retorted3 9No3 that>! enough.? 1! chair'an of the $oviet de%egation3 I decided to 0ut an i''ediate !to0 to the fa'i%iarit# that had Cuite i'0erce0ti %# een e!ta %i!hed during the ear%# !tage!. +hrough our 'i%itar# re0re!entative!3 I 'ade it known that I had no de!ire to e 0re!ented to the Prince of )avaria. +hi! wa! noted. I ne/t de'anded !e0arate dinner! and !u00er!3 under the 0rete/t that we had to ho%d conference! during the interva%!. +hi! wa! a%!o acce0ted in !i%ence. In hi! diar# for 7anuar# ;3 *-ernin wrote& 91%% the ,u!!ian!3 under the %eader!hi0 of +rot!k#3 arrived efore dinner<ti'e. +he# i''ediate%# a!ked to e e/cu!ed if3 in the future3 the# did not @oin in the 'ea%! in co''on. 1nd the# genera%%# ke0t out of !ightD thi! ti'e it !ee'! that Cuite a different wind i! %owing than on the %a!t occa!ion.? +he feigned friend%ine!! of re%ation! gave wa# to an officia% for'a%it#. +hi! wa! a%% the 'ore o00ortune !ince we had to 0a!! fro' acade'ic 0re%i'inarie! to the concrete Cue!tion! of a 0eace treat#. KUh%'ann wa! head and !hou%der! a ove *-ernin3 and 0ro a %# a ove a%% the re!t of the di0%o'at! who' I 'et in the #ear! after the war. Ae i'0re!!ed 'e a! a 'an of character3 with a 0ractica% 'ind far a ove the average3 and with 'a%ice enough to cover not on%# u! B here he 'et hi! 'atch B ut hi! dear a%%ie! a! we%%. 8uring the di!cu!!ion of the Cue!tion of occu0ied

territorie!3 KUh%'ann3 !tretching hi'!e%f to hi! fu%% height and rai!ing hi! voice3 !aid& 9?ur 4er'an territor#3 thank 4od3 i! not eing he%d # foreign troo0! an#whereJ? whereu0on *-ernin>! face went green and hi! figure !hrank. KUh%'ann wa! de%i erate%# ai'ing at hi'. +heir re%ation!hi0 wa! far fro' that of a !erene friend!hi0. =ater3 when the di!cu!!ion turned to Per!ia3 which wa! occu0ied on oth !ide! # foreign ar'ie!3 I re'arked that !ince Per!ia3 un%ike 1u!tria<Aungar#3 wa! not in a%%iance with an#one3 it did not cau!e an# of u! 0iou! re@oicing that it wa! Per!ia>! territor#3 and not our!3 that wa! occu0ied. 1t thi!3 *-ernin a%'o!t @u'0ed a! he e/c%ai'ed3 9/nerhtKrt@? (9unheard of?). O!ten!i %#3 thi! e/c%a'ation wa! addre!!ed to 'e3 a%though it wa! rea%%# for KUh%'ann. E0i!ode! %ike thi! were freCuent. =ike a good che!!<0%a#er who for a %ong ti'e ha! 'et weaker 0%a#er!3 and who ha! %o!t !o'e of hi! !ki%%3 KUh%'ann3 having 'et on%# hi! 1u!tro<Aungarian3 +urki!h3 )u%garian and neutra% di0%o'atic va!!a%! during the war3 wa! inc%ined to undere!ti'ate hi! revo%utionar# o00onent! and 0%a# hi! ga'e in a !%oven%# 'anner. Ae often a!toni!hed 'e3 e!0ecia%%# at the out!et3 # the 0ri'itivene!! of hi! 'ethod! and # hi! %ack of under!tanding of hi! o00onent>! 0!#cho%og# I wa! con!idera %# and Cuite un0%ea!ant%# agitated when I went to '# fir!t 'eeting with the di0%o'at!. 5hen I wa! hanging u0 '# coat in the ha%%3 I ca'e face to face with KUh%'ann. I did not know hi' # !ight. Ae introduced hi'!e%f and i''ediate%# added that he wa! 9ver# 0%ea!ed? at '# co'ing3 !ince it wa! etter to dea% direct%# with the 'a!ter than with hi! e'i!!ar#. Ai! face ore witne!! to hi! !ati!faction with thi! 9fine? 'ove3 !o ca%cu%ated to i'0re!! an u0!tart. +hi! 'ade 'e fee% e/act%# a! if I had !te00ed on !o'ething unc%ean. I even !tarted ack3 invo%untari%#. KUh%'ann rea%i-ed hi! %under3 0ut hi'!e%f on hi! guard3 and hi! tone eca'e in!tant%# 'ore for'a%. )ut that did not 0revent hi' fro' fo%%owing the !a'e 'ethod3 in '# 0re!ence3 with the head of the +urki!h de%egation3 an o%d court di0%o'ati!t. 1! he wa! introducing hi! co%%eague! to 'e3 KUh%'ann waited unti% the +urki!h de%egate wa%ked a !te0 awa# and then !aid to 'e in a confidentia% !tage whi!0er3 certain that the other wou%d hear hi'& 9Ae i! the e!t di0%o'ati!t in Euro0e.? 5hen I to%d thi! to 7offe3 he an!wered %aughing& 91t '# fir!t 'eeting with KUh%'ann he did e/act%# the !a'e thing.? It %ooked ver# 'uch a! if KUh%'ann wa! giving the 9 e!t di0%o'ati!t? a 0%atonic co'0en!ation for certain un0%atonic e/tortion!. It i! a%!o 0o!!i %e that he wa! tr#ing to ki%% two ird! with one !tone3 # 'aking it known to *-ernin that he did not con!ider hi' the e!t di0%o'ati!t B ne/t to hi'!e%f. On 8ece' er IG3 KUh%'ann !aid to *-ernin3 according to the %atter>! account& 9+he e'0eror i! the on%# inte%%igent 'an in a%% 4er'an#.? One i'agine! that the!e word! were not intended !o 'uch for *-ernin>! ear! a! for tho!e of the e'0eror hi'!e%f. In tran!'itting f%atterie! to their de!tination3 the di0%o'ati!t! no dou t were he%0ing each other. 3latte7, %latte7, il en restera tou5ours 4uel4ue chose@ +hi! wa! the fir!t ti'e that I had co'e face to face with thi! !ocia% circ%e. Of cour!e3 even efore3 I had never had an# i%%u!ion! a out it. I had a fair%# !trong !u!0icion that 90ot! were not aked # god!.? )ut I 'u!t ad'it that I had thought the genera% %eve% 'uch higher. "# i'0re!!ion! of that fir!t 'eeting were !o'ething %ike thi!& 'en rate other! chea0%#3 and rate the'!e%ve! not 'uch dearer. In thi! connection the fo%%owing e0i!ode 'a# e of !o'e intere!t. 1t (ictor 1d%er>! in!tigation B 1d%er tried in tho!e da#! to !how hi! 0er!ona% !#'0ath# for 'e in ever# 0o!!i %e wa# B *ount *-ernin !ugge!ted ca!ua%%# that '# %i rar#3 which had een %eft in (ienna at the eginning of the

war3 e !ent to "o!cow. +he %i rar# wa! of con!idera %e intere!t3 for during the %ong #ear! of foreign e/i%e I had gathered together a %arge co%%ection of ,u!!ian revo%utionar# %iterature. I had hard%# had ti'e to e/0re!! '# thank!3 with a %itt%e re!erve3 efore the di0%o'at wa! a!king 'e to inCuire into the ca!e of two 1u!trian 0ri!oner! who3 he a%%eged3 were eing ad%# treated. +hi! direct and under!cored tran!ition fro' the %i rar# to the 0ri!oner!3 who were of cour!e not 0rivate! ut officer! fro' the circ%e! c%o!e!t to *ount *-ernin3 !ee'ed a%together too ra-en. I an!wered !uccinct%# that if *-ernin>! infor'ation !hou%d 0rove correct3 it wou%d of cour!e e '# dut# to do ever#thing nece!!ar#3 ut that thi! 'atter had nothing to do with '# %i rar#. In hi! 'e'oir! *-ernin give! a fair%# e/act account of thi! incident3 without den#ing that he had tried to connect the u!ine!! of the 0ri!oner! with that of the %i rar#. On the contrar#3 he !ee'! to con!ider thi! Cuite natura%. Ae end! hi! !tor# with the a' iguou! 0hra!e& 9Ae o viou!%# want! to have the %i rar#.? I 'ight add that i''ediate%# after receiving the %i rar# I handed it over to one of the %earned in!titution! in "o!cow. +he circu'!tance! of hi!tor# wi%%ed that the de%egate! of the 'o!t revo%utionar# rNgi'e ever known to hu'anit# !hou%d !it at the !a'e di0%o'atic ta %e with the re0re!entative! of the 'o!t reactionar# ca!te a'ong a%% the ru%ing c%a!!e!. Aow great%# our o00onent! feared the e/0%o!ive 0ower of their negotiation! with the )o%!hevik! wa! !hown # their readine!! to reak off the negotiation! rather than tran!fer the' to a neutra% countr#. In hi! 'e'oir! *-ernin !a#! Cuite 0%ain%# that in a neutra% countr#3 with the he%0 of their internationa% friend!3 the )o%!hevik! wou%d have taken the rein! in their own hand!. Officia%%#3 he u!ed the e/cu!e that in a neutra% countr# Eng%and and France wou%d i''ediate%# have %aunched their intrigue!3 9 oth o0en%# and ehind the !cene!.? I retorted that our 0o%itica% 0ractice had no u!e for an#thing ehind the !cene!3 ecau!e thi! wea0on of the o%d di0%o'ac# had een eradicated # the ,u!!ian 0eo0%e3 together with 'an# other thing!3 in the victoriou! u0ri!ing of Octo er I5. )ut we had to ow to an u%ti'atu'3 and !o we re'ained at )re!t<=itov!k. )arring a few ui%ding! that !tood a0art fro' the o%d town and were occu0ied # the 4er'an !taff3 )re!t<=itov!k !trict%# !0eaking no %onger e/i!ted. +he town had een urned to the ground in i'0otent rage # the *-ar>! troo0! during their retreat. Aoff'ann 'u!t have cho!en thi! 0%ace for hi! !taff ecau!e he knew that he cou%d kee0 it! 'e' er! within hi! gra!0. +he furni!hing!3 %ike the food3 were of the !i'0%e!t3 and 4er'an !o%dier! acted a! attendant!. For the' we were 'e!!enger! of 0eace3 and the# %ooked to u! with ho0e. 1 high3 ar ed<wire fence !urrounded the !taff ui%ding!. On '# 'orning wa%k! I ke0t running into notice!& 91n# ,u!!ian found in thi! 0%ace wi%% e !hot.? +hi! referred to 0ri!oner!3 of cour!e3 ut I wou%d a!k '#!e%f if it did not a00%# a%!o to u!3 who were !e'i<0ri!oner! here3 and wou%d turn ack again. +here wa! a fine3 !trategic road running through the town of )re!t<=itov!k. 8uring the fir!t da#! of our !ta# there3 we went out for drive! in the !taff auto'o i%e!3 and3 a! a re!u%t3 a conf%ict deve%o0ed one da# etween one of the 'e' er! of our de%egation and a 4er'an !ergeant. Aoff'ann !ent a for'a% co'0%aint to 'eD I an!wered that we dec%ined3 with thank!3 to 'ake an# further u!e of the auto'o i%e! 0%aced at our di!0o!a%. +he negotiation! dragged on. 1%% of u! had to co''unicate with our re!0ective govern'ent! # direct wire!3 and freCuent%# the!e wire! did not work. 5hether thi! wa! actua%%# due to 0h#!ica% cau!e! or whether the reakdown wa! feigned to ena %e our o00onent! to gain ti'e3 we were una %e to !a#. 1t an# rate3 the interva%! etween 'eeting! were freCuent3 and !o'eti'e! %a!ted a! %ong a! !evera% da#!. 8uring one of the!e3 I 'ade a tri0 to 5ar!aw. +he cit# wa! %iving under the ru%e of the 4er'an a#onet. +he

inha itant! evinced a great intere!t in the $oviet di0%o'ati!t!3 ut e/0re!!ed it ver# cautiou!%#3 ecau!e no one knew how it wa! a%% going to end. +he de%a# in negotiation! wa! to our intere!t. +hat wa! '# rea% o @ect in going to )re!t<=itov!k. )ut I can c%ai' no credit for '#!e%f on thi! !coreD '# 0artner! he%0ed 'e a! e!t the# cou%d. 9+i'e i! 0%entifu% here3? *-ernin write! 'e%ancho%ica%%# in hi! diar#. 9Now it i! the +urk! who are not read#3 now it i! the )u%garian!3 and now the ,u!!ian! B and the 'eeting! are ad@ourned again3 or e%!e roken off when the# have on%# egun.? +he 1u!trian!3 in turn3 egan to de%a# the negotiation! when the# !truck their difficu%tie! with the Hkrainian de%egation. Of cour!e thi! did not re!train KUh%'ann and *-ernin in their 0u %ic !tate'ent! fro' accu!ing the ,u!!ian de%egation a%one of tr#ing to 0rotract the negotiation!. I 0rote!ted again!t thi! in!i!tent%#3 ut Cuite in vain. Not a trace of the c%u'!# co'0%i'ent! which the officia%%# in!0ired 4er'an 0re!! had indu%ged in toward the )o%!hevik! B and e/ce0t for the underground !heet! it wa! a%% officia%%# in!0ired B wa! %eft a! the negotiation! drew to their c%o!e. +he TF#li+he !"nds+ha"3 for in!tance3 not on%# co'0%ained that 9in )re!t<=itov!k3 +rot!k# ha! created for hi'!e%f a 0%atfor' fro' which hi! voice i! carried throughout the wor%d3? and according%# de'anded an end to it a! !oon a! 0o!!i %e B it a%!o !tated that 9neither =enin nor +rot!k# want! 0eace3 which wou%d in a%% 0ro a i%it# 'ean either the ga%%ow! or 0ri!on for the'.? +he tone of the $ocia% 8e'ocratic 0re!! wa! !u !tantia%%# the !a'e. +he $cheide'ann!3 E ert! and $ta'0fer! !aw our ho0e for a revo%ution in 4er'an# a! our greate!t cri'e. +he!e gent%e'en were far fro' thinking that in a few 'onth! the revo%ution wou%d !ei-e the' # the !cruff of their neck!3 and 0ut the' in 0ower. 1fter the %ong vacation fro' reading 4er'an 0a0er!3 I took the' u0 again at )re!t<=itov!k with great intere!t. +he 0eace negotiation! figured in the' in a wa# that !howed a ver# thorough 0ro0agandi!t treat'ent. )ut the 0a0er! a%one were not enough to take a%% of '# ti'e. I decided to 'ake the fu%%e!t 0o!!i %e u!e of '# enforced %ei!ure3 which I cou%d fore!ee wou%d not ha00en again in the near future. 5e had with u! a good 'an# !tenogra0her! who had once een on the !taff of the $tate 8u'a3 and !o I egan dictating to the'3 fro' 'e'or#3 a hi!torica% !ketch of the Octo er revo%ution. Fro' a few !e!!ion! there grew a ook intended 0ri'ari%# for foreign worker!. +he nece!!it# of e/0%aining to the' what had ha00ened wa! 'o!t i'0erativeD =enin and I had di!cu!!ed thi! nece!!it# 'ore than once ut no one had an# ti'e to !0are. 1nd I had een farthe!t fro' !u00o!ing that )re!t<=itov!k wou%d eco'e a !eat for '# %iterar# work. =enin wa! ver# ha00# when I rought ack with 'e a fini!hed 'anu!cri0t on the ,u!!ian revo%ution. In it3 we oth !aw one of the 'ode!t 0%edge! of a future revo%utionar# reco'0en!e for the har!h 0eace. +he ook wa! !oon tran!%ated into a do-en Euro0ean and 1!iatic %anguage!. 1%though a%% the 0artie! inc%uded in the *o''uni!t Internationa% had fo%%owed the %ead of the ,u!!ian! and had 0rinted innu'era %e edition! of the ook3 that did not 0revent the e0igone!3 after 19I33 fro' dec%aring it a 0oi!oned off!hoot of +rot!k#i!'. +o<da# it i! on $ta%in>! %ack%i!t. In thi! %itt%e incident the ideo%ogica% 0re0aration for the +her'idor found one of it! 'an# e/0re!!ion!. +he on%# wa# to achieve victor# wa! to cut the u' i%ica% cord of the continuit# with Octo er.

+he di0%o'ati!t! who o00o!ed u! a%!o found wa#! of taking u0 their !0are ti'e at )re!t<=itov!k. *ount *-ernin3 according to hi! diar#3 not on%# went hunting ut a%!o increa!ed hi! !tore of know%edge # reading 'e'oir! of the 0eriod of the French revo%ution. Ae co'0ared the )o%!hevik! with the 7aco in!3 tr#ing there # to con!o%e hi'!e%f. +he Aa0! urg di0%o'ati!t wrote& 9*har%otte *orda# !aid& PI ki%%ed a wi%d ea!t3 not a 'an.> +he!e )o%!hevik! wi%% di!a00ear again and B who know!E B 0erha0! there wi%% #et e a *orda# for +rot!k#.? In tho!e da#!3 of cour!e3 I didn>t know a out the!e !ou%fu% 'editation! of the 0iou! *ount. )ut I can ea!i%# e%ieve in their !incerit#. 1t fir!t3 it 'a# !ee' difficu%t to di!cover e/act%# what 4er'an di0%o'ac# wa! ai'ing at when it 0ro0o!ed it! de'ocratic for'u%a! on 8ece' er I53 on%# to uncover it! wo%fi!h a00etite! a few da#! %ater. It wa! o viou! that there wa! Cuite a ri!k to the 4er'an govern'ent in a%%owing the theoretica% de ate on the !e%f<deter'ination of nationa%itie!3 which deve%o0ed chief%# through KUh%'ann>! own initiative. It 'u!t have een c%ear to the Aohen-o%%ern di0%o'ati!t! even efore the# egan3 that the# were not %ike%# to achieve an# great triu'0h! in that direction. KUh%'ann3 for in!tance3 wa! an/iou! to !how that the 4er'an !ei-ure of Po%and3 =ithuania3 the )a%tic 0rovince! and Fin%and wa! nothing 'ore than a for' of 9!e%f<deter'ination? on the 0art of each of the!e countrie!3 !ince their wi%% wa! eing e/0re!!ed through 9nationa%? organ! created # the 4er'an authoritie! of occu0ation. +hi! wa! not !o ea!# to 0rove. )ut KUh%'ann wou%d not give u0. Ae a!ked 'e3 in!i!tent%#3 if I wou%d not recogni-e that the Ni-a' of Aaidara ad3 for in!tance3 e/0re!!ed the wi%% of hi! own 0eo0%e. I re0%ied that if India were c%eared of )riti!h troo0!3 it wa! Cuite i'0ro a %e that the worth# Ni-a' wou%d !tand on hi! feet 'ore than twent#<four hour!. KUh%'ann !hrugged hi! !hou%der! rude%#. 4enera% Aoff'ann grunted. +he inter0reter tran!%ated. +he !tenogra0her! took down note!3 and the di!cu!!ion went on ad in%initu#. +he !ecret of thi! conduct on the 0art of the 4er'an di0%o'ati!t! %a# in KUh%'ann >! a00arent conviction that we were read# to 0%a# hi! ga'e. Ae 'u!t have rea!oned it out in thi! wa#& 9+he )o%!hevik! got their 0ower through advocating 0eace. +he# can retain it on%# on condition that the# 'ake 0eace. It i! true that the# have co''itted the'!e%ve! to 0eace on de'ocratic ter'!. )ut then3 what are di0%o'ati!t! forE If I3 KUh%'ann3 give the )o%!hevik! their revo%utionar# for'u%a! in a00ro0riate di0%o'atic tran!cri0tion!3 the# wi%% give 'e the chance to take 0o!!e!!ion B under another na'e3 of cour!e B of 0rovince! and 0eo0%e!. In the e#e! of the wor%d3 the 4er'an anne/ation! wi%% carr# the !anction of the ,u!!ian revo%ution. 1! for the )o%!hevik!3 the# wi%% have their 0eace.? In cheri!hing the!e ho0e!3 KUh%'ann no dou t wa! 'i!%ed # the !tate'ent! of our %i era%!3 "en!hevik!3 and Po0u%i!t!3 who had een re0re!enting the )re!t< =itov!k negotiation! a! a co'ed# with ro%e! a!!igned in advance. 5hen we 'ade it Cuite c%ear to our 0artner! at )re!t<=itov!k B and in no eCuivoca% 'anner B that with u! it wa! not a 'atter of a h#0ocritica% di!gui!e for a ack!tair! dea%3 ut a Cue!tion of the 0rinci0%e! governing the 'utua% re%ation! of 0eo0%e!3 KUh%'ann3 who had a%read# ound hi'!e%f # hi! fir!t !tand3 reacted to u! a%'o!t a! if we had roken !o'e tacit agree'ent3 one that rea%%# e/i!ted on%# in hi! own i'agination. Ae 0er!i!ted !tu orn%# in ho%ding fa!t to the de'ocratic 0rinci0%e! of 8ece' er I5. *onfident of hi! con!idera %e gift for ca!ui!tr#3 he ho0ed to !how the wor%d that white wa! @u!t the !a'e a! %ack. *ount *-ernin3 in hi! own c%u'!# wa#3 0%a#ed !econd<fidd%e to KUh%'ann3 and3 under hi! direction3 took it u0on hi'!e%f to 'ake even 'ore arrogant and c#nica% !tate'ent! whenever the !ituation had eco'e critica%. Ae ho0ed in thi!

wa# to concea% hi! own weakne!!. 4enera% Aoff'ann3 on the other hand3 rought a refre!hing e%e'ent into the negotiation!. 5ith a Cuite o viou! %ack of !#'0ath# for the !u t%etie! of di0%o'ac#3 the 4enera% on !evera% occa!ion! 0ut hi! !o%dier>! oot on the ta %e around which the di!cu!!ion wa! taking 0%ace. For our 0art3 we never for a 'o'ent dou ted that in the!e negotiation! Aoff'ann>! oot wa! the on%# rea%it# to take !eriou!%#. +here were ti'e!3 however3 when the 4enera% 'ade incur!ion! into di!cu!!ion! that were 0ure%# 0o%itica%3 and did it in hi! own wa#. 5hen he had co'0%ete%# %o!t 0atience with a%% the drear# 0a%aver a out the !e%f<deter'ination of 0eo0%e!3 he a00eared one fine 'orning B it wa! 7anuar# 1T B with a rief<ca!e 0acked with ,u!!ian new!0a0er!3 'o!t%# of the $ocia%i!t<,evoutioni!t 0art#. Aoff'ann read ,u!!ian ea!i%#. In !hort3 !taccato !entence!3 a! if he were !nar%ing at !o'e one or giving order!3 the 4enera% charged the )o%!hevik! with !u00re!!ing freedo' of !0eech and of a!!e' %#3 and with vio%ating the 0rinci0%e! of de'ocrac#3 'eanwhi%e Cuoting a00roving%# fro' the artic%e! # the ,u!!ian terrori!t 0art# that !ince 192I had !ent to the other wor%d Cuite a nu' er of ,u!!ian! of the 4enera%>! wa# of thinking. +he 4enera% denounced u! indignant%# ecau!e our govern'ent wa! !u00orted # force. *o'ing fro' hi'3 that !ounded rea%%# 'agnificent. 1n entr# in *-ernin>! diar# !a#!& 9Aoff'ann 'ade hi! unfortunate !0eech. Ae had een working on it for !evera% da#!3 and i! ver# 0roud of hi! !ucce!!.? I re0%ied to Aoff'ann that in a !ociet# a!ed on c%a!!e! ever# govern'ent re!t! on force. +he on%# difference wa! that 4enera% Aoff'ann a00%ied re0re!!ion to 0rotect ig 0ro0ert#<owner!3 wherea! we did it in defen!e of the worker!. For a few 'inute!3 the 0eace conference wa! tran!for'ed into a "ar/ian 0ro0agandi!t c%a!! for eginner!. 9+he thing that !ur0ri!e! and re0e%! the govern'ent! of other countrie!3? I !aid3 9i! that we do not arre!t !triker!3 ut ca0ita%i!t! who !u @ect worker! to %ock<out!D that we do not !hoot 0ea!ant! who de'and %and3 ut arre!t the %andowner! and officer! who tr# to !hoot the 0ea!ant!.? 1t thi! 0oint3 Aoff'ann>! face grew 0ur0%e. 1fter ever# incident of the !ort3 KUh%'ann wou%d inCuire with 'a%iciou! courte!# whether Aoff'ann wanted to !a# !o'e thing on the !u @ect under di!cu!!ion3 and the 4enera% wou%d re0%# a ru0t%#& 9No3 no 'oreJ? and %ook out of the window in a rage. +here wa! !o'ething de%ightfu%%# 0iCuant in thi! di!cu!!ion of the revo%utionar# u!e of force in that gathering of Aohen-o%%ern3 Aa0! urg3 $u%tanic and *o urg di0%o'ati!t!3 genera%!3 and ad'ira%!. $o'e of the tit%ed and decorated gent%e 'en cou%d do nothing at a%% during the!e di!cu!!ion! ut %ook ewi%dered and g%ance fir!t at 'e and then at Kuh%'ann and *-ernin. +he# wanted !o'e one to e/0%ain to the' what3 for heaven>! !ake3 a%% thi! 'eantJ )ehind the !cene!3 no dou t3 KUh%'ann wa! ha''ering it into the' that our %ength of %ife wa! now 'ea!ured in week!3 and that thi! rief ti'e 'u!t e uti%i-ed to conc%ude a 94er'an? 0eace3 !o that the !ucce!!or! of the )o%!hevik! wou%d have to acce0t the con!eCuence!. In de ate! on 'atter! of 0rinci0%e3 '# 0o!ition wa! a! 'uch !u0erior to that of KUh%'ann a!3 in 'atter! of 'i%itar# fact3 4enera% Aoff'ann>! wa! !u0erior to 'ine. +hat i! wh# the 4enera% wa! tr#ing !o i'0atient%# to reduce a%% Cue!tion! to the co'0arative !trength of our force!3 wherea! KUh%'ann wa! 'aking futi%e atte'0t! to 'ake a 0eace a!ed on the war<'a0 %ook a! if it were a!ed on 0rinci0%e. On one occa!ion3 to !often the i'0re!!ion 'ade # Aoff'ann>! !0eeche!3 KUh%'ann !aid that a !o%dier inevita %# e/0re!!ed hi'!e%f 'ore 0ungent%# than a di0%o'ati!t. I

re0%ied that 9we 'e' er! of the ,u!!ian de%egation do not e%ong to the di0%o'atic !choo%3 ut con!ider our !e%ve! rather a! !o%dier! of the revo%ution? and con!eCuent%# 0referred the rough %anguage of the !o%dier. )ut KUh%'ann>! di0%o'atic civi%it# wa! entire%# re%ative. +he 0ro %e' he had !et hi'!e%f wa! o viou!%# in!o%u %e without co<o0eration fro' u!3 and it wa! @u!t that that wa! 'i!!ing. 95e are revo%utionarie!3? I e/0%ained to KUh%'ann3 9 ut we are rea%i!t! too3 and we 0refer to ta%k 0%ain%# a out anne/ation! rather than to !u !titute 0!eudon#'! for rea% na'e!.? 1fter that3 it wa! %itt%e wonder that KUh%'ann wou%d occa!iona%%# throw off hi! di0%o'atic 'a!k and !nar% viciou!%#. I !ti%% re'e' er the intonation of hi! voice when he !aid that 4er'an# wa! !incere%# an/iou! to re!tore friend%# re%ation! with it! power%ul ea!tern neigh or. +he word 90owerfu%? wa! uttered in a tone of 'ocker# !o 0rovocative that even KUh%'ann>! a%%ie! winced. 1nd e!ide!3 *-ernin wa! 'orta%%# afraid of a ru0ture of negotiation!. I 0icked u0 the g%ove and re'inded the'3 once 'ore3 of what I had !aid in '# fir!t !0eech. 95e are not in a 0o!ition3 nor do we de!ire3? I !aid on 7anuar# 123 9to di!0ute the fact of our countr#>! having een weakened # the 0o%icie! of the c%a!!e! that ru%ed it unti% recent%#. )ut the wor%d 0o!ition of a countr# i! deter'ined not # the condition of it! technica% a00aratu! toda#3 ut # the 0o!!i i%itie! %atent in it3 @u!t a! the econo'ic 0ower of 4er'an# cannot e 'ea!ured # the 0re!ent condition of it! food<!u00%ie!. 1 road and far<!ighted 0o%ic# re!t! on ca0acit# for deve%o0'entD on the inner force! that3 once awakened3 wi%% !ooner or %ater revea% their 0ower.? =e!! than nine fu%% 'onth! after thi!3 on Octo er 33 191G3 I !aid at a 'eeting of the 1%%<Hnion *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee3 reca%%ing KUh%'ann>! )re!t<=itov!k cha%%enge& 9No one of u! ha! an# fee%ing of 'a%iciou! @o# ecau!e 4er'an# i! now 0a!!ing through a terri %e cata!tro0he.? It i! unnece!!ar# to adduce 0roof! that the 'a@or 0art of thi! cata!tro0he wa! 0re0ared # 4er'an di0%o'ac#3 'i%itar# a! we%% a! civi%3 at )re!t =itov!k. +he 'ore 0reci!e%# we fra'ed our Cue!tion!3 the greater wa! Aoff'ann>! a!cendenc# over KUh%'ann. +he# no %onger concea%ed their antagoni!' B e!0ecia%%# the 4enera%. 5hen3 in re0%# to one of hi! 0eriodica% attack!3 I 'entioned the 4er'an govern'ent with no hidden 'otive in 'ind3 Aoff'ann interru0ted 'e in a voice that wa! hoar!e with anger& 9I do not re0re!ent the 4er'an govern'ent here3 ut the 4er'an Aigh *o''and.? +hi! !ounded a! if !o'e one had cra!hed a !tone through g%a!!. I %ooked a out the ta %e at our o00onent!. KUh%'ann>! face wa! a%% !crewed u0D he !at %ooking down. *-ernin>! e/0re!!ion wa! a co' ination of e' arra!!'ent and a !ort of viciou! re@oicing. I re0%ied that I did not think that I wa! entit%ed to @udge the 'utua% re%ation!hi0 etween the govern'ent of the 4er'an e'0ire and it! high co''and3 ut that I wa! authori-ed to conduct negotiation! on%# with it! govern'ent. KUh%'ann crunched hi! teeth a! he noted '# dec%aration and e/0re!!ed hi! agree'ent with it. It wou%d e difficu%t to e/aggerate the e/tent of the di!agree'ent! etween the 4er'an di0%o'ac# and the high co''and. KUh%'ann wa! tr#ing to 0rove that the occu0ied territorie! had a%read# 9!e%f<deter'ined? the'!e%ve! in favor of 4er'an# through their authori-ed nationa% organ!. On the other hand3 Aoff'ann e/0%ained that3 in view of the a !ence of authori-ed organ! in tho!e territorie!3 there wou%d e no Cue!tion of withdrawing 4er'an troo0!. +he argu'ent! were dia'etrica%%# o00o!ed to each other3 ut the 0ractica% conc%u!ion wa! the !a'e.

In thi! connection3 KUh%'ann tried a !tratage' that at fir!t !ee'! a%'o!t incredi %e. In a written re0%# (announced # von ,o!en erg) to a %i!t of Cue!tion! that we had !u 'itted3 a !tate'ent wa! 'ade to the effect that the 4er'an troo0! cou%d not e withdrawn fro' the occu0ied territorie! unti% the ter'ination of the war on the 5e!tern front. I conc%uded fro' thi! that the troo0! wou%d e withdrawn a%ter the ter'ination of the war3 and de'anded a 'ore 0reci!e indication of the ti'e. KUh%'ann got ver# e/cited. Ae had o viou!%# re%ied on the !o0orific effect of hi! for'u%aD in other word! he wanted to di!gui!e anne/ation # 'ean! of B a 0%a# on word!J 5hen thi! fai%ed3 he e/0%ained3 through Aoff'ann3 that the troo0! were not going to e withdrawn either be%ore or a%ter. I 'ade an atte'0t toward the end of 7anuar# B though I did not ho0e for !ucce!! B to o tain 0er'i!!ion fro' the 1u!trian govern'ent to vi!it (ienna for a ta%k with the re0re!entative! of the 1u!trian 0ro%etariat. +he 1u!trian $ocia% 8e'ocrac# wa!3 I think3 'ore frightened than an# one e%!e at the idea of !uch a vi!it. Of cour!e3 '# a00%ication wa! refu!ed3 for the Cuite incredi %e rea!on that I had no authorit# to carr# out !uch negotiation!. I re0%ied to *-ernin in the fo%%owing %etter& 9"r. "ini!ter& In forwarding herewith a co0# of the %etter fro' =egation<*ounci%or *ount *-akki3 dated IQ in!t.3 which i! a00arent%# to e con!idered #our re0%# to '# te%egra' of the IT in!t.3 I here # eg to infor' #ou that I note the refu!a%3 !tated therein3 to grant 'e 0er'i!!ion to vi!it (ienna to conduct negotiation! with the re0re!entative! of the 1u!trian 0ro%etariat in the intere!t! of ringing a out a de'ocratic 0eace. I a' o %iged to record that3 under con!ideration! of a for'a% character3 thi! re0%# concea%! #our unwi%%ingne!! to a%%ow 0er!ona% negotiation! etween the re0re!entative! of the worker!> and the 0ea!ant!> 4overn'ent of ,u!!ia and tho!e of the 1u!trian 0ro%etariat. 5ith regard to the reference in the %etter to '# %ack of 0%eni0otentiar# 0ower! for conducting !uch negotiation! B a reference that i! inad'i!!i %e either in for' or in fact B I !hou%d %ike to draw #our attention3 "r. "ini!ter3 to the fact that the right of deter'ining the !co0e and character of '# 0ower! e%ong! e/c%u!ive%# to '# 4overn'ent.? 8uring the %a!t !tage! of the negotiation!3 KUh%'ann>! and *-ernin>! tru'0 card wa! the inde0endent action of the Kiev ,ada L1M3 which wa! ho!ti%e to "o!cow. It! %eader! re0re!ented the Hkrainian variet# of Keren!k#i!'3 and differed fro' their 4reat ,u!!ian 0rotot#0e on%# in that the# were even 'ore 0rovincia%. +he )re!t<=itov!k de%egate! of the ,ada were never intended # nature for an# other fate than to e %ed # the no!e # an# ca0ita%i!t di0%o'ati!t. KUh%'ann and *-ernin oth engaged in thi! u!ine!! with di!dainfu% conde!cen!ion. +he de'ocratic !i'0%eton! fe%t a! if the# were wa%king on air3 !o e%ated were the# at the thought of the two !ta%wart fir'! of Aohen-o%%ern and Aa0! urg taking the' !eriou!%#. 5hen the head of the Hkrainian de%egation3 4o%u ovich3 after 'aking hi! due co''ent!3 !at down in hi! chair3 carefu%%# !e0arating the %ong !kirt! of hi! %ack frock coat3 one wa! afraid that he wou%d 'e%t on the !0ot fro' the inten!e @o# and ad'iration that were !i''ering in!ide hi'. *-ernin eventua%%# !ucceeded3 a! he hi'!e%f record! in hi! diar#3 in inciting the Hkrainian! to co'e out again!t the $oviet de%egation with an o0en%# ho!ti%e !tate'ent. )ut the Hkrainian! overdid it. For a Cuarter of an hour their !0eaker hea0ed rudene!! on arrogance3 even e' arra!!ing the con!cientiou! 4er'an inter0reter3 who cou%d not Cuite take hi! 0itch fro' thi! !ort of tuning<fork. In de!cri ing thi! !cene3 the Aa0! urg count !0eak! of '# ewi%der'ent3

0a%%or3 convu%!ion!3 and of the dro0! of co%d !weat that gathered on '# face. +he!e e/aggeration! a!ide3 I 'u!t ad'it that the !cene wa! 'o!t di!tre!!ing B the di!tre!!ing thing a out it eing not3 a! *-ernin think!3 that our fe%%ow countr#'en were in!u%ting u! in the 0re!ence of foreigner!3 ut the frantic !e%f<hu'i%iation of what wa! after a%% a re0re!entative od# of the revo%ution efore vain ari!tocrat! who on%# de!0i!ed the'. 1 grandi%oCuent a!ene!! and a !ervi%it# that choked with it! ra0ture! f%owed %ike a fountain fro' the tongue! of the!e 'i!era %e nationa% de'ocrat! who for a 'o'ent had een touched with 0ower. KUh%'ann3 *-ernin3 Aoff'ann and the re!t were reathing heavi%#3 %ike ga' %er! at a race<cour!e who have 0%aced et! on the winning hor!e. 5ith a g%ance at hi! 0atron! after each !entence3 a! if he were %ooking for encourage'ent3 the Hkrainian de%egate read fro' hi! note! a%% the vitu0eration that hi! de%egation had 0re0ared in fort#<eight hour! of co%%ective effort. +here i! no den#ing that it wa! one of the vi%e!t !cene! that I have ever witne!!ed. )ut even under the cro!!fire of in!u%t! and the 'a%iciou!%# re@oicing g%ance!3 I never for a 'o'ent dou ted that the!e over<-ea%ou! f%unkie! wou%d !oon e thrown out<of<door! # their triu'0hant 'a!ter!3 who in turn were !oon to e e@ected fro' the !eat! the# had een ho%ding for centurie!. 1t that ti'e revo%utionar# $oviet detach'ent! were victoriou!%# advancing through the Hkraine3 fighting their wa# through to the 8nie0er. 1nd on the ver# da# when the 'atter ca'e to a head3 and it wa! o viou! that the Hkrainian de%egate! had !truck u0 a dea% with KUh%'ann and *-ernin for the !a%e of the Hkraine3 the $oviet troo0! took 0o!!e!!ion of Kiev. 5hen ,adek inCuired over the direct wire a out the !ituation in the Hkrainian ca0ita%3 the 4er'an te%egra0h<o0erator3 'i!taking the 0er!on he wa! addre!!ing for !o'e one e%!e3 announced& 9Kiev i! dead.? On Fe ruar# ;3 I ca%%ed the attention of the de%egation! of the *entra% Power! to the te%egra' fro' =enin infor'ing u! that the $oviet troo0! had occu0ied Kiev on 7anuar# I9D that the govern'ent of the ,ada3 now de!erted # ever#one3 wa! a%read# in hidingD that the *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee of the $oviet! of the Hkraine had een 0roc%ai'ed the !u0re'e 0ower in the countr# and had taken it! !eat at KievD and that the Hkrainian govern'ent had ado0ted a federative connection with ,u!!ia3 with co'0%ete unit# in ho'e and foreign 0o%icie!. 1t the ne/t 'eeting3 I to%d KUh%'ann and *-ernin that the# were treating with the de%egation of a govern'ent who!e entire territor# wa! confined to )re!t<=itov!k. ()# the treat# thi! town wa! to e re!tored to the Hkraine.) )ut the 4er'an govern'ent3 or rather the 4er'an high co''and3 had a%read# decided # that ti'e to occu0# the Hkraine with 4er'an troo0!. +he di0%o'ac# of the *entra% Power! wa! 'ere%# drawing u0 a 0a!!0ort for their ad'i!!ion. =udendorff worked 'agnificent%# to 0re0are the fina% agon# of the Aohen-o%%ern ar'#. 8uring tho!e da#!3 confined in a 4er'an 0ri!on wa! a 'an who' the 0o%itician! of the $ocia% 8e'ocrac# were accu!ing of cra-# uto0ian idea!3 and the Aohen-o%%ern @udge! of !tate trea!on. +hi! 0ri!oner wrote & 9+he re!u%t of )re!t<=itov!k i! not ni%3 even if it co'e! to a 0eace of forced ca0itu%ation. +hank! to the ,u!!ian de%egate!3 )re!t<=itov!k ha! eco'e a revo%utionar# tri una% who!e decree! are heard far and wide. It ha! rought a out the e/0o!e of the *entra% Power!D it ha! e/0o!ed 4er'an avidit#3 it! cunning %ie! and h#0ocri!#. It ha! 0a!!ed an annihi%ating verdict u0on the 0eace 0o%ic# of the 4er'an L$ocia% 8e'ocraticM 'a@orit# B a 0o%ic# which i! not !o 'uch a 0iou! h#0ocri!# a! it i! c#nici!'. It ha! 0roved 0owerfu% enough to ring forth nu'erou! 'a!! 'ove'ent! in variou! countrie!. 1nd it! tragic %a!t act B the intervention again!t the

revo%ution B ha! 'ade !ocia%i!' tre' %e in ever# fi re of it! eing. +i'e wi%% !how what harve!t wi%% ri0en for the 0re!ent victor! fro' thi! !owing. +he# wi%% not e 0%ea!ed with it.? LIM

'otes
1. +he ,ada3 an a!!e' %# of re0re!entative! of variou! 0u %ic organi-ation! in the Hkraine3 wa! for'ed after the Fe ruar# revo%ution and c%ai'ed to e the !0oke!'an for the Hkrainian nation. 1fter it! overthrow # the )o%!hevik!3 the ,ada favored the 4er'an occu0anc#3 which3 when e!ta %i!hed3 di!!o%ved the ,ada govern'ent and 'ade Aet'an $koro0ad!k# the !o%e ru%er of the countr#. B Trans. I. Kar% =ie knecht3 Politis+he A"s:ei+hn"n#en a"s seine1 'a+hlass3 (er%ag 8ie 1ktion3 19I13 0.51.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <<<00

P(A%(
1%% through the autu'n3 de%egate! fro' the front a00eared dai%# efore the Petrograd $oviet to !a# that un%e!! 0eace wa! !igned # Nove' er 13 the !o%dier! the'!e%ve! wou%d co'e fro' the trenche! to 'ake 0eace in their own wa#. +hi! eca'e the !%ogan at the front. $o%dier! %eft the trenche! in drove!. +he Octo er revo%ution gave a te'0orar# check to thi!3 ut not for %ong. +hank! to the Fe ruar# revo%ution3 the !o%dier! had di!covered that the# had een ru%ed # the ,a!0utin gang3 which had dragged the' into a heinou! and futi%e warD the# !aw no rea!on for continuing it ecau!e the# were a!ked to do !o # a certain #oung %aw#er na'ed Keren!k#. +he# wanted to get ack to their ho'e!3 their fa'i%ie!3 the %and3 and the revo%ution3 which had 0ro'i!ed the' %and and freedo' ut !o far had done nothing ut kee0 the' in co%d and ver'inou! ho%e! at the front. Keren!k# took offen!e at the !o%dier!3 worker! and 0ea!ant!3 and ca%%ed the' 9'utinou! !%ave!.? Ae fai%ed to under!tand one %itt%e thing B that revo%ution con!i!t! in e/act%# thi!& in !%ave! 'utin#ing and refu!ing to e !%ave!. )uchanan3 the 0atron and the 0ower ehind Keren!k#3 wa! incautiou! enough to te%% u! in hi! 'e'oir! what war and revo%ution 'eant to hi' and to hi! !ort. $evera% 'onth! after the Octo er revo%ution3 )uchanan wrote the fo%%owing de!cri0tion of ,u!!ia in 191Q B the terri %e #ear of the defeat of the *-ar>! ar'ie! and the reakdown of the econo'ic %ife3 a #ear of read<%ine!3 with a govern'ent %ea0< frogging at ,a!0utin>! co''and. 91t one of the 'an# eautifu% vi%%a! which we vi!ited? ()uchanan i! writing of hi! tri0 to the *ri'ea in 191Q)3 9we were not on%# 0re!ented with read

and !a%t on a !i%ver 0%atter3 ut found in our 'otor3 on %eaving3 a ca!e with a do-en ott%e! of o%d )urgund#3 who!e 0rai!e! I had !ung whi%e drinking it at %uncheon. It i! terri %# !ad to %ook ack on tho!e ha00# #<gone da#! LJM and to think of a%% the 'i!er# and 'i!fortune! which have efa%%en tho!e who !howed u! !uch kindne!! and ho!0ita%it#.? )uchanan refer! not to the !uffering! of the !o%dier! in the trenche!3 or to the !tarving 'other! in the read%ine!3 ut to the 'i!fortune of the for'er owner! of eautifu% vi%%a! in the *ri'ea3 owner! of !i%ver 0%atter! and )urgund#. ,eading tho!e %i!!fu%%# !ha'e%e!! %ine!3 one can on%# !a#& the Octo er revo%ution wa! not in vain. Not in vain did it !wee0 awa# not on%# the ,o'anoff! ut the )uchanan! and Keren!k#! a! we%%. 5hen I wa! cro!!ing the front %ine for the fir!t ti'e on '# wa# to )re!t<=itov!k3 our !#'0athi-er! in the trenche! cou%d not 'u!ter u0 'uch of a 0rote!t again!t the 'on!trou! de'and! of 4er'an# ecau!e the trenche! were a%'o!t de!erted. 1fter the e/0eri'ent! of )uchanan and Keren!k#3 no one dared to !0eak even conditiona%%# of continuing the war. Peace3 0eace3 at an# 0riceJ =ater3 on one of '# return tri0! fro' )re!t<=itov!k to "o!cow3 I tried to 0er!uade one of the re0re!entative! fro' the front on the *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee to give a %itt%e !u00ort to our de%egation # a vigorou! !0eech. 9I'0o!!i %e3? he re0%ied3 9a !o%ute%# i'0o!!i %e. 5e !hou%dn>t e a %e to return to the trenche!. +he# wou%dn>t under!tand u!3 and wou%d !a# that we were continuing to deceive the' a! Keren!k# did.? It wa! o viou! that going on with the war wa! i'0o!!i %e. On thi! 0oint3 there wa! not even a !hadow of di!agree'ent etween =enin and 'e. 5e were oth eCua%%# ewi%dered at )ukharin and the other a0o!t%e! of a 9revo%utionar# war.? )ut there wa! another Cue!tion3 Cuite a! i'0ortant. Aow far cou%d the Aohen-o%%ern govern'ent go in their !trugg%e again!t u!E In a %etter to one of hi! friend!3 *-ernin wrote that if the# had een !trong enough3 the# wou%d have !ent their troo0! again!t Petrograd to e!ta %i!h order there3 in!tead of negotiating with the )o%!hevik!. +here wa! certain%# no %ack of i%%<wi%%. )ut wa! there !trength enoughE *ou%d Aohen-o%%ern !end hi! troo0! again!t revo%utionarie! who wanted 0eaceE Aow had the Fe ruar# revo%ution3 and3 %ater on3 the Octo er revo%ution3 affected the 4er'an ar'#E Aow !oon wou%d an# effect !how it!e%fE +o the!e Cue!tion!3 no an!wer cou%d a! #et e given. 5e had to tr# to find it in the cour!e of the negotiation!. 1ccording%# we had to de%a# the negotiation! a! %ong a! we cou%d. It wa! nece!!ar# to give the Euro0ean worker! ti'e to a !or 0ro0er%# the ver# fact of the $oviet revo%ution3 inc%uding it! 0o%ic# of 0eace. 1nd thi! wa! a%% the 'ore i'0ortant !ince the 0re!! of the Entente3 %ike the ,u!!ian 9conci%iator#? and ourgeoi! 0re!!3 wa! 0ortra#ing the 0eace negotiation! in advance a! a co'ed# with the ro%e! ingeniou!%# di!tri uted. Even in 4er'an#3 a'ong the $ocia% 8e'ocratic o00o!ition of that 0eriod3 which wa! a0t to !ee it! own weakne!!e! ref%ected in u!3 0eo0%e were ta%king a out the )o%!hevik! working hand in hand with the 4er'an govern'ent. 1nd thi! ver!ion 'u!t have een even 'ore credi %e in France and in Eng%and. It wa! o viou! that if the bourgeoisie of the Entente and the $ocia% 8e'ocrac# !ucceeded in !0reading the wrong idea a out u! a'ong the 'a!!e! of worker!3 the future 'i%itar# intervention of the 1%%ie! wou%d e 'ade a%% the !i'0%er. $o I in!i!ted that efore !igning a !e0arate 0eace B if that 0roved a !o%ute%# unavoida %e B we 'u!t at a%% co!t! give the worker! of Euro0e a !triking and inconte!ta %e 0roof of the dead%# en'it# e/i!ting etween u! and the 4er'an ru%ing c%a!!e!. It wa! the!e con!ideration! that gave 'e the idea of a 0o%itica%

de'on!tration at )re!t<=itov!k e/0re!!ing the !%ogan& 95e end war3 we de'o i%i-e the ar'#3 ut we do not !ign 0eace.? If 4er'an i'0eria%i!' find! it!e%f una %e to !end troo0! again!t u! B I rea!oned B it wi%% 'ean that we have achieved a tre'endou! victor# of far<reaching con!eCuence!. )ut if it were !ti%% 0o!!i %e for the Aohen-o%%ern! to !trike again!t u! we !hou%d a%wa#! e a %e to ca0itu%ate ear%# enough. I con!u%ted the other 'e' er! of the de%egation3 a'ong the' Ka'enev3 and found the' in !#'0ath# with 'e3 and wrote =enin to that effect. Ai! re0%# wa!& 95hen #ou co'e to "o!cow we wi%% ta%k it over.? 9One cou%d want nothing etter3? =enin an!wered '# argu'ent!3 9if it turn! out that Aoff'ann i! not !trong enough to !end troo0! again!t u!. )ut there i! %itt%e ho0e of that. Ae wi%% find !0ecia%%# !e%ected regi'ent! of rich )avarian far'er! for it. 1nd then3 how 'an# of the' doe! he needE You !a# #our !e%f that the trenche! are e'0t#. 5hat if the 4er'an! re!u'e fightingE? 9+hen we wi%% e co'0e%%ed to !ign the 0eace3 ut ever# one wi%% rea%i-e that we had no choice. )# thi! act a%one3 we wi%% dea% a deci!ive %ow at the !tor# of our !ecret connection with the Aohen-o%%ern!.? 9Of cour!e3 there are certain advantage! in that. )ut it i! too ri!k#. If it were nece!!ar# for u! to go under to a!!ure the !ucce!! of the 4er'an revo%ution3 we !hou%d have to do it. +he 4er'an revo%ution i! va!t%# 'ore i'0ortant than our!. )ut when wi%% it co'eE No one know!. 1nd at the 'o'ent3 there i! nothing !o i'0ortant a! our revo%ution. It 'u!t e !afe guarded again!t danger at an# 0rice.? +he difficu%tie! of the Cue!tion were further aggravated # the inner !tate of the 0art#. +he 0reva%ent attitude in the 0art#3 at %ea!t a'ong it! %eading e%e'ent!3 wa! that of irreconci%a %e ho!ti%it# to !igning the )re!t<=itov!k 0eace ter'!. +he !tenogra0hic re0ort! of the negotiation! 0u %i!hed in our 0re!! inten!ified thi! 'oodD it found it! 'o!t acute e/0re!!ion in the 9%eft? co''uni!t grou03 which 0ut forward a !%ogan of revo%utionar# war. +he inner !trugg%e grew 'ore inten!e ever# da#. *ontrar# to the ta%e %ater !0read a out3 it wa! not etween =enin and 'e3 ut etween =enin and the overwhe%'ing 'a@orit# of the chief organi-ation! of the 0art#. On the 'o!t i'0ortant Cue!tion!3 !uch a! whether we were then in a 0o!ition to carr# on a revo%utionar# war and whether it wa! genera%%# ad'i!!i %e for the revo%utionar# 0ower to !ign agree'ent! with the i'0eria%i!t!3 I wa! unre!erved%# with =enin3 and an!wered3 a! he did3 the fir!t Cue!tion in the negative and the !econd in the 0o!itive. +he fir!t di!cu!!ion of the difference! efore a wider audience took 0%ace on 7anuar# I13 at the 'eeting of the active 0art# worker!. +hree 0oint! of view ca'e to the fore then. =enin he%d that we !hou%d tr# to de%a# the negotiation! and in ca!e of an u%ti'atu'3 ca0itu%ate i''ediate%#. I con!idered it nece!!ar# to reak off negotiation! even at the ri!k of a new 4er'an advance3 !o that we 'ight ca0itu%ate B if we had to do !o B on%# in the face of an o viou! u!e of force. )ukharin de'anded war to e/tend the arena of revo%ution. =enin waged a itter fight again!t the advocate! of revo%utionar# war at that 'eeting3 a%though he 'ade on%# a !%ight critici!' of '# 0ro0o!a%. +he !u00orter! of revo%utionar# war o tained thirt#<two vote!3 =enin fifteen3 and I

!i/teen. )ut the!e figure! are not rea%%# indicative of the 'ood of the 0art#. In the u00er !tratu'3 if not in the 'a!!e!3 the 9%eft wing? wa! even !tronger than at thi! 0articu%ar 'eeting. It wa! thi! fact that in!ured the te'0orar# victor# of '# for'u%a. +ho!e who !hared )ukharin>! view regarded '# 0ro0o!a% a! a !te0 in their own direction. On the other hand3 =enin e%ieved3 and right%#3 that 0o!t0one'ent of the fina% deci!ion wou%d work for hi! eventua% victor#. 1t thi! ti'e our own 0art#3 no %e!! than the worker! of we!tern Euro0e3 wa! 'uch in need of !o'e vi!ua% de'on!tration of the actua% !tate of thing!. In a%% the directing in!titution! of the 0art# and !tate3 =enin wa! in a 'inorit#. Over two hundred %oca% $oviet!3 in re!0on!e to the invitation of the $oviet of *o''i!!arie!3 !tated their view! on war and 0eace. Of the' a%%3 on%# two %arge $oviet! B Petrograd and $e a!to0o% (the %atter with re!ervation!) B went on record a! eing in favor of 0eace. On the other hand3 !evera% of the ig worker!> centre!3 !uch a! "o!cow3 Ekaterin urg3 Kharkoff3 Ekaterino!%av3 Iva novo<(o-ne!en!k3 Kron!tadt3 etc.3 voted # overwhe%'ing 'a@oritie! to reak off negotiation!. +he !a'e attitude 0revai%ed a'ong our 0art# organi-ation!3 and of cour!e a'ong the %eft $ocia%i!t<,evo%utioni!t!. =enin>! 0oint cou%d have een carried out # 'ean! of a !0%it in the 0art# and a coup d<tat ut not otherwi!e. 1nd #et3 ever# da# wa! ound to increa!e the nu' er of =enin>! fo%%ower!. In the!e circu'!tance!3 the for'u%a of 9neither war nor 0eace? actua%%# !erved a! a ridge to =enin>! !tand. 1nd it wa! the ridge over which the 'a@orit# of the 0art#3 or at %ea!t of it! directing e%e'ent!3 'ade the cro!!ing. 91%% right3 %et>! !u00o!e that we have actua%%# refu!ed to !ign a 0eace3 and that the 4er'an! an!wer it # an advance. 5hat are #ou going to do thenE? =enin Cue!tioned 'e. 95e wi%% !ign 0eace at the 0oint of a a#onet. +he !ituation wi%% e c%ear to a%% the wor%d.? 9)ut in that ca!e3 #ou won>t !u00ort the !%ogan of revo%utionar# war3 wi%% #ouE? >>Hnder no circu'!tance!.? 9In that ca!e3 the e/0eri'ent wi%% 0ro a %# not e !o dangerou!. 5e wi%% on%# ri!k %o!ing E!thonia or =atvia.? 1nd with a !%# chuck%e3 =enin added& 9For the !ake of a good 0eace with +rot!k#3 =atvia and E!thonia are worth %o!ing.? For !evera% da#!3 that wa! hi! favorite refrain. It wa! at thi! deci!ive !e!!ion of 7anuar# II3 that the *entra% *o''ittee ado0ted '# 0ro0o!a%!& to de%a# negotiation!D in the event of a 4er'an u%ti'atu'3 to dec%are war at an end3 ut to refu!e to !ign 0eaceD to act3 thereafter3 according to the de'and! of circu'!tance. =ate at night3 on 7anuar# I53 a @oint !e!!ion of the *entra% *o''ittee! of the )o%!hevik! and the 9%eft? $ocia%i!t< ,evo%utioni!t! (our a%%ie! then) wa! he%d3 and the !a'e for'u%a wa! voted # an overwhe%'ing 'a@orit#. 1! we often did then3 we dec%ared that thi! deci!ion of oth the *entra% *o''ittee! !hou%d !tand a! that of the $oviet of Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie!. On 7anuar# 313 I te%egra0hed =enin at the $'o%n# over a direct wire fro' )re!t<=itov!k& 91'ong the count%e!! ru'or! and re0ort! reaching the 4er'an 0re!!3 there ha! a00eared the a !urd !tate'ent that we intend to refu!e3 de'on!trative%#3 to !ign the 0eace treat#D that there are

di!agree'ent! a'ong the )o%!hevik! on thi! !core3 and !o forth and !o on. I a' referring to a te%egra' of thi! !ort that ca'e fro' $tockho%' and Cuoted the 1oliti$en a! it! authorit#. If I a' not 'i!taken3 the 1oliti$en i! the organ of AXg%und. *ou%d #ou a!k hi' wh# hi! editor! 0u %i!h !uch a !urd non!en!e3 in ca!e it i! true that a re0ort of thi! nature a00eared in the 0a0erE Ina!'uch a! the ourgeoi! 0re!! i! fu%% of a%% !ort! of 'a%iciou! go!!i03 the 4er'an! are not %ike%# to attach 'uch !ignificance to thi! re0ort. )ut3 in thi! ca!e3 the !ource i! a new!0a0er of the %eft wing3 one of who!e editor! i! in Petrograd. +hi! give! the re0ort a certain authoritativene!! that can on%# confu!e the 'ind! of our o00onent!. 9+he 1u!trian and 4er'an 0re!! are fu%% of re0ort! of horror! in Petrograd3 "o!cow3 and throughout ,u!!ia3 of hundred! and thou!and! of dead3 of the ratt%e of 'achine<gun!3 etc. It i! a !o%ute%# nece!!ar# to a00oint a %eve%<headed 'an to i!!ue dai%# re0ort! on the !tate of the countr#3 and to 'ake the' 0u %ic through the Petrograd te%egra0h agenc# and the radio. It wou%d e a good thing if *o'rade 6inoviev wou%d take thi! u0on hi'!e%f. It i! e/tre'e%# i'0ortant3 and the re0ort! !hou%d e !ent3 fir!t of a%%3 to (orov!k# and =itvinovD thi! cou%d e done through *hicherin. 95e have on%# had one for'a% 'eeting3 !o far. +he 4er'an! are de%a#ing negotiation!3 a00arent%# ecau!e of their own interna% cri!i!. +he 4er'an 0re!! ha! egun to !hout that we rea%%# do not want 0eace and are on%# an/iou! to !0read the revo%ution to other countrie!. +he!e @acka!!e! are inca0a %e of under!tanding that it i! !i'0%# ecau!e we want to further Euro0ean revo%ution that the ear%ie!t 0eace 0o!!i %e i! of the ut'o!t i'0ortance to u!. 9Aave an# 'ea!ure! een taken toward e/0e%%ing the ,ou'anian e' a!!#E I e%ieve that the King of ,ou'ania i! in 1u!tria. 1ccording to a re0ort in one of the 4er'an 0a0er!3 we have3 !tored in "o!cow3 not the nationa% ,ou'anian fund3 ut the go%d fund of the nationa% ank of ,ou'ania. +he !#'0athie! of officia% 4er'an# are3 of cour!e3 entire%# on the ,ou'anian !ide. Your!3 +,O+$KY.? +hi! note de'and! a %itt%e e/0%anation. *a %e di!0atche! fro' )re!t<=itov!k were regarded a! !afe fro' %i!tening<in or ta00ing. )ut we had ever# rea!on to e%ieve that the 4er'an! at )re!t< =itov!k were reading our corre!0ondence over the direct wireD we had enough re!0ect for their technica% re!ourcefu%ne!! to e%ieve thi!. It wa! i'0o!!i %e for u! to code a%% our 'e!!age!3 and we did not con!ider coding a !ufficient 0rotection. 1t the !a'e ti'e3 the new!0a0er Politiken wa! doing u! no !ervice # !0reading it! ino00ortune ut authentic infor'ation. For thi! rea!on3 '# di!0atch wa! written not !o 'uch to warn =enin that the !ecret of our deci!ion had een %a ed a road3 ut to tr# to 0ut the 4er'an! off the track. I u!ed the ver# di!courteou! word 9@acka!!e!? in referring to the new!0a0er 'en on%# to 'ake the 'e!!age read Cuite 9natura%%#.? I can>t !a# to what e/tent '# !tratage' !ucceeded in deceiving KUh%'ann. 1t an# event3 '# dec%aration on Fe ruar# 12 !ee'ed to i'0re!! our o00onent! a! !o'ething Cuite une/0ected. In *-ernin>! diar# for Fe ruar# 113 we read& 9+rot!k# refu!e! to !ign. 5ar i! over3 ut there i! no 0eace.?

It i! hard to e%ieve3 ut in 19IT the !choo% of $ta%in and 6inoviev 'ade an atte'0t !o to re0re!ent thi! 'atter a! to 'ake 'e !ee' to have acted at )re!t<=itov!k contrary to the deci!ion of the 0art# and the govern'ent. +he fa%!ifier! did not even other to %ook u0 the o%d 'inute! and read their own !tate'ent!. 6inoviev !0oke at the Petrograd $oviet on Fe ruar# 113 the da# after I had 'ade the dec%aration at )re!t<=itov!k3 and averred that 9our de%egation ha! found the on%# correct wa# out of the !ituation a! it now !tand!.? 1nd it wa! 6inoviev who 'oved the re!o%ution which wa! ado0ted # the 'a@orit# of a%% again!t one B with the "en!hevik! and $ocia%i!t<,evo%utioni!t! a !taining B and a00roved the refu!a% to !ign the 0eace treat#. On Fe ruar# 1T3 after I had 'ade '# re0ort to the *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee3 $v#erd%ov3 on eha%f of the )o%!hevik faction3 'oved a re!o%ution that egan with the word!& 9Aaving heard and fu%%# con!idered the re0ort of the 0eace de%egation3 the *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee fu%%# a00rove! of the action of it! re0re!entative! at )re!t<=itov!k.? +here wa! not a !ing%e 0art# or $oviet %oca% organi-ation that did not e/0re!! it! a00rova% of the conduct of the $oviet de%egation during the interva% etween Fe ruar# 1 and 15. 1t the 0art# congre!! in "arch3 191G3 6inoviev dec%ared& 9+rot!k# i! right when he !a#! that he acted in accordance with the deci!ion of the 'a@orit# of the *entra% *o''ittee. No one tried to den# that.? =a!t%#3 =enin hi'!e%f re0orted at the !a'e congre!!3 that 9at the *entra% *o''ittee ... a deci!ion wa! ado0ted not to !ign 0eace.? 1%% thi! ha! not 0revented the e!ta %i!hing3 in the *o''uni!t Internationa%3 of the new dog'a that +rot!k# a%one wa! re!0on!i %e for the refu!a% to !ign 0eace at )re!t<=itov!k. 1fter the Octo er !trike! in 4er'an# and 1u!tria3 the Cue!tion of whether the 4er'an govern'ent wou%d decide on an offen!ive wa! not a! o viou!3 either to u! or to the 4er'an govern'ent3 a! it i! eing re0re!ented to<da#3 after the fact3 # 'an# 9inte%%igent? 0er!on!. On Fe ruar# 123 the de%egation! of 4er'an# and 1u!tria<Aungar# at )re!t<=itov!k arrived at the conc%u!ion that 9the !ituation 0ro0o!ed in +rot!k#>! dec%aration! 'u!t e acce0ted.? On%# 4enera% Aoff'ann o00o!ed it. 1t their conc%uding conference ne/t da#3 according to *-ernin3 KUh%'ann !0oke with co'0%ete a!!urance of the nece!!it# of acce0ting the de %acto 0eace. Echoe! of thi! reached u! at once. 1%% of our de%egation returned to "o!cow under the i'0re!!ion that the 4er'an! wou%d not !tart an offen!ive. =enin wa! ver# 0%ea!ed with the re!u%t. 91nd 0erha0! the# wi%% deceive u!E? he wa! !ti%% a!king. 5e !hrugged our !hou%der!. +o a%% a00earance! it did not %ook that wa#. 95e%%3 if it i! !o3 it>! a%% to the good3? !aid =enin. 9100earance! are !aved3 and the war i! over.? Aowever3 two da#! efore the e/0iration of the week fi/ed for the 4er'an re0%#3 a ca %ed de!0atch fro' 4enera% $a'o#%o3 who had re'ained at )re!t<=itov!k3 infor'ed u! that the 4er'an! had announced3 through 4enera% Aoff'ann3 that fro' 'idnight of Fe ruar# 1G the# wou%d con!ider the'!e%ve! in a !tate of war with ,u!!ia3 and had therefore invited hi' to %eave )re!t<=itov!k. =enin got the te%egra' fir!t. I wa! in hi! roo' at the ti'e3 where a conference wa! eing he%d with the %eft $ocia%i!t<,evo%utioni!t!. 5ithout !a#ing a word3 =enin handed 'e the te%egra'. Ai! face 'ade 'e rea%i-e in!tant%# that !o'ething wa! u0. Ae hurried the conver!ation with the $ocia%i!t<,evo%utioni!t!3 !o that he cou%d di!cu!! the !ituation after the# had %eft.

9+he# have deceived u!3 after a%% ... 4ained five da#!. +hi! wi%d ea!t wi%% %et nothing e!ca0e it. +here i! nothing %eft3 then3 ut to !ign the o%d ter'!3 0rovided that the 4er'an! wi%% agree to %eave the' e/act%# a! the# are.? 1! efore3 I in!i!ted that Aoff'ann e a%%owed actua%%# to !tart an offen!ive3 !o that the worker! of 4er'an#3 a! we%% a! of the countrie! of the 1%%ie!3 wou%d %earn of the offen!ive a! a fact rather than a! a threat. 9No3? re@oined =enin3 9we can>t afford to %o!e a !ing%e hour now. +he te!t ha! een 'ade. Aoff'ann want! to and can fight. 8e%a# i! i'0o!!i %e. +hi! ea!t @u'0! fa!t.? In "arch3 at the 0art# congre!!3 =enin !aid& 9It wa! agreed etween u! Lthat i!3 =enin and 'eM that we ho%d out unti% a 4er'an u%ti'atu'3 ut that after the u%ti'atu' we were to !urrender.? I de!cri ed the agree'ent a ove. =enin con!ented not to attack '# 0oint of view efore the 0art# on%# ecau!e I 0ro'i!ed hi' not to !u00ort the advocate! of a revo%utionar# war. +he officia% re0re!entative! of that grou0 B Hrit-k#3 ,adek3 and3 I e%ieve3 O!!in!k# B ca'e to 'e with an offer of a 9!ing%e front.? I 'ade it Cuite c%ear to the' that our 0o!ition! had nothing in co''on. 5hen the 4er'an high co''and gave notice of the e/0iration of the truce3 =enin re'inded 'e of our agree'ent. I an!wered that # an u%ti'atu' I had not 'eant !i'0%# a ver a% !tate'ent3 ut an actua% 4er'an offen!ive that wou%d %eave no dou t a! to the rea% re%ation! etween the countrie!. 1t the 'eeting of the *entra% *o''ittee on Fe ruar# 1;3 =enin 0ut the 0re%i'inar# Cue!tion to a vote& 9If the 4er'an offen!ive eco'e! a fact3 and no revo%utionar# u0heava% take! 0%ace in 4er'an#3 are we !ti%% to !ign 0eaceE? )ukharin and hi! fo%%ower! an!wered thi! cardina% Cue!tion # a !taining fro' voting. Kre!tin!k# acted in the !a'e wa#. 7offe voted again!t 0eace. =enin and I voted in favor of it. +he ne/t da# I voted again!t the i''ediate de!0atch of the te%egra' !tating our readine!! to !ign 0eace3 a! =enin 0ro0o!ed. 8uring the da#3 however3 te%egra0hic re0ort! infor'ed u! that the 4er'an! had o0ened an offen!ive3 had !ei-ed our 'i%itar# !u00%ie! and were advancing in the direction of 8vin!k. +hat evening I voted for =enin>! te%egra'D now there wa! no 0o!!i %e dou t that the 4er'an offen!ive wou%d e roadca!t to the entire wor%d. On Fe ruar# I13 we received new ter'! fro' 4er'an#3 fra'ed3 a00arent%#3 with the direct o @ect of 'aking the !igning of 0eace i'0o!!i %e. )# the ti'e our de%egation returned to )re!t< =itov!k3 the!e ter'!3 a! i! we%% known3 had een 'ade even har!her. 1%% of u!3 inc%uding =enin3 were of the i'0re!!ion that the 4er'an! had co'e to an agree'ent with the 1%%ie! a out cru!hing the $oviet!3 and that a 0eace on the we!tern front wa! to e ui%t on the one! of the ,u!!ian revo%ution. If thi! wa! true3 it wa! o viou! that no conce!!ion! fro' u! wou%d have een of an# u!e. +he deve%o0'ent! in Fin%and and the Hkraine ti00ed the !ca%e! !trong%# in favor of war. Ever# hour rought !o'ething unfavora %e. +he new! of a 4er'an %anding in Fin%and and of the routing of the Finni!h worker! reached u!. I 'et =enin in the corridor near hi! roo'. Ae wa! terri %# e/citedD never efore had I !een hi' %ike that3 nor did I again. 9Ye!3 we !ha%% have to fight3? he !aid3 9though we have nothing to fight with. +here doe! not !ee' to e an# other wa# out.?

)ut ten or fifteen 'inute! %ater3 when I ca%%ed at hi! roo'3 he !aid& 9No3 we 'u!t not change our 0o%ic#. "i%itar# action on our 0art wou%d not e a %e to !ave the revo%ution in Fin%and3 ut it wou%d 'o!t certain%# ruin u!. 5e wi%% he%0 the Finni!h worker! in ever# wa# we can3 ut we 'u!t do it with out a andoning 0eace. I a' not !ure that thi! wi%% !ave u! now. 9)ut at an# rate it i! the on%# wa# in which !a%vation i! !ti%% 0o!!i %e.? I wa! ver# !ce0tica% a out the 0o!!i i%it# of !ecuring 0eace even at the 0rice of co'0%ete ca0itu%ation. )ut =enin decided to tr# the ca0itu%ation idea to the ut'o!t. $ince he had no 'a@orit# in the *entra% *o''ittee3 and the deci!ion de0ended on '# vote3 I a !tained fro' voting to in!ure for hi' the 'a@orit# of one vote. I !tated thi! e/0%icit%# when I e/0%ained '# rea!on! for not voting. If the !urrender !hou%d fai% to o tain 0eace for u!3 I rea!oned3 we wou%d !traighten out our 0art# front in ar'ed defen!e of the revo%ution thru!t on u! # the ene'#. 9It !ee'! to 'e3? I to%d =enin3 0rivate%#3 9that it wou%d e 0o%itica%%# wi!e if I !u 'itted '# re!ignation a! co''i!!ar# for foreign affair!.? 95hat forE I ho0e that we aren>t going to introduce the!e 0ar%ia'entarian 'ethod!.? 9)ut '# re!ignation wou%d i'0%#3 for the 4er'an!3 a radica% change in our 0o%ic#3 and wou%d !trengthen their confidence in our wi%%ingne!! actua%%# to !ign the 0eace treat# thi! ti'e.? 9+here i! !o'ething in that3? =enin an!wered3 thinking it over. 9+hat i! a !eriou! 0o%itica% rea!on.? On the twent#<!econd of Fe ruar#3 at the 'eeting of the *entra% *o''ittee3 I re0orted that the French 'i%itar# 'i!!ion had conve#ed the French and Eng%i!h offer! to he%0 u! in a war with 4er'an#. I e/0re!!ed '#!e%f a! in favor of acce0ting the offer3 on condition3 of cour!e3 that we e co'0%ete%# inde0endent in 'atter! of foreign 0o%ic#. )ukharin in!i!ted that it wa! inad'i!!i %e for u! to enter into an# arrange'ent! with the i'0eria%i!t!. =enin ca'e vigorou!%# to '# aid3 and the *entra% *o''ittee ado0ted '# re!o%ution # !i/ vote! again!t five. 1! far a! I can re'e' er now3 =enin dictated the re!o%ution in the!e word!& 9+hat *o'rade +rot!k# e authori-ed to acce0t the a!!i!tance of the rigand! of the French i'0eria%i!' again!t the 4er'an rigand!.? Ae a%wa#! 0referred for'u%a! that %eft no roo' for dou t. 1fter I %eft the 'eeting3 )ukharin overtook 'e in the %ong corridor of the $'o%n#3 threw hi! ar'! a out 'e3 and egan to wee0. 95hat are we doingE? he e/c%ai'ed. 95e are turning the 0art# into a dung<hea0.? )ukharin i! genera%%# read# with hi! tear!3 and %ike! rea%i!tic e/0re!!ion!. )ut at thi! ti'e the !ituation wa! eco'ing rea%%# tragic. +he revo%ution wa! etween the ha''er and the anvi%. On "arch 33 our de%egation !igned the 0eace treat# without even reading it. Fore!ta%%ing 'an# of the idea! of *%N'enceau3 the )re!t<=itov!k 0eace wa! %ike the hang'an>! noo!e. On "arch II3 the treat# wa! ratified # the 4er'an ,eich!tag. +he 4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocrat! gave their a00rova%3 in advance3 to the future 0rinci0%e! of (er!ai%%e!. +he Inde0endent! voted again!t itD

the# were @u!t eginning to de!cri e the futi%e curve that eventua%%# rought the' ack to their !tarting<0oint. ,eviewing the wa# a%read# covered at the !eventh congre!! of the 0art# ("arch3 191G)3 I de!cri ed '# 0o!ition with detai% and c%arit# enough& Aad we rea%%# wanted to o tain the 'o!t favora %e 0eace3 we wou%d have agreed to it a! ear%# a! %a!t Nove' er. )ut no one Le/ce0t 6inovievM rai!ed hi! voice to do it. 5e were a%% in favor of agitation3 of revo%utioni-ing the working c%a!!e! of 4er'an#3 1u!tria<Aungar# and a%% of Euro0e. )ut a%% our 0reviou! negotiation! with the 4er'an! had revo%utionar# !ignificance on%# in !o far a! the# were received a! genuine. I had a%read# re0orted to the )o%!hevik faction of the 1%%<,u!!ian *ongre!! of $oviet! how the for'er 1u!trian 'ini!ter3 4rat-3 !aid that the 4er'an! on%# needed !o'e 0rete/t to 0re!ent u! with an u%ti'atu'. +he# e%ieved that we our!e%ve! were inviting it ... that we under!tood in advance that we were to !ign anythingD that we were @u!t 0%a#ing in a revo%utionar# co'ed#. 9In the!e circu'!tance!3 if we had refu!ed to !ign 0eace3 we !hou%d have een threatened with the %o!! of ,eva% and other territorie!3 wherea!3 on the other hand3 if we had !igned too ha!ti%#3 we !hou%d have ri!ked the %o!! of the !#'0ath# of the wor%d 0ro%etariat3 or at %ea!t of the %arger 0art of it. I wa! one of tho!e who thought that the 4er'an! were not %ike%# to advance3 ut that if the# did3 we !hou%d a%wa#! have ti'e to !ign the 0eace3 even if it invo%ved !ti%% har!her ter'!. In due cour!e of ti'e3? I !aid then3 9ever# one wou%d have eco'e convinced that there wa! no other wa# out.? It i! re'arka %e that =ie knecht wrote at the !a'e ti'e fro' 0ri!on& 9In no !en!e can it e !aid that the 0re!ent !o%ution of the 0ro %e' i! not a! favora %e for future deve%o0'ent a! a !urrender at )re!t<=itov!k wou%d have een at the eginning of Fe ruar#. Suite the contrar#. 1 !urrender %ike that wou%d have thrown the wor!t %ight on a%% 0receding re!i!tance and wou%d have 'ade the !u !eCuent !u 'i!!ion to force a00ear a! P(is haud ingrata.> +he c#nici!' that crie! to heaven and the ruta% character of the u%ti'ate 4er'an action ha(e dri(en all suspicions into the bac$ground.? =ie knecht grew a'a-ing%# during the warD he %earned to e!ta %i!h a gu%f etween hi'!e%f and the hone!t character%e!!ne!! of Aaa!e. It i! unnece!!ar# to !a# that =ie knecht wa! a revo%utionar# of end%e!! courage. )ut he wa! on%# now deve%o0ing hi'!e%f into a !trategi!t. +hi! di!c%o!ed it!e%f in Cue!tion! of hi! 0er!ona% %ife3 a! we%% a! of revo%utionar# 0o%ic#. *on!ideration! of 0er!ona% !afet# were a !o%ute%# a%ien to hi'. 1fter hi! arre!t3 'an# friend! !hook their head! at hi! !e%f<!acrificing 9reck%e!!ne!!.? =enin3 on the contrar#3 wa! a%wa#! 'uch concerned a out the !afet# of the %eader!hi0. Ae wa! the head of the genera% !taff3 and a%wa#! re'e' ered that3 during war3 he had to in!ure the functioning of the high co''and. =ie knecht wa! %ike a genera% who hi'!e%f %ead! hi! troo0! to att%e. For thi! rea!on3 a! we%% a! for variou! other!3 it wa! hard for hi' to under!tand our !trateg# at )re!t<=itov!k. 1t fir!t he wanted u! !i'0%# to cha%%enge fate and advance to 'eet it. In that 0eriod3 he re0eated%# conde'ned the 90o%ic# of =enin<+rot!k#3? Cuite rea!ona %# 'aking no di!tinction in thi! a!ic Cue!tion etween =enin>! !tand and '# own. )ut %ater on he egan to !ee the 0o%ic# of )re!t<=itov!k in a different %ight. Ear%# in "a#3 he wrote& 9One thing over and

a ove a%% i! nece!!ar# for the ,u!!ian $oviet! B and that i! certain%# not de'on!tration! and decoration!3 ut a !tern3 har!h 0ower. For thi! the# need inte%%igence and ti'e a! we%% a! energ#D inte%%igence !o that the# 'a# gain the ti'e that i! nece!!ar# for even the 'o!t inte%%igent energ#.? +hi! i! a co'0%ete recognition of the rightne!! of =enin>! )re!t<=itov!k 0o%ic#3 which wa! who%%# directed toward gaining ti'e. +ruth 'ake! it! wa#3 ut non!en!e i! @u!t a! tenaciou!. Profe!!or Fi!her of 1'erica3 in a ig ook de!cri ing the fir!t #ear! of $oviet ,u!!ia3 The Fa1ine in )o iet !"ssia L1M3 attri uted to 'e the idea that the $oviet! wi%% never enter into a war with the ourgeoi! govern'ent!3 nor 'ake 0eace with the'. Fi!her3 %ike 'an# another3 co0ied thi! non!en!ica% for'u%a fro' 6inoviev and the e0igone! in genera%3 adding to it !o'e of hi! own %ack of under!tanding. "# e%ated critic! have %ong !ince taken '# )re!t<=itov!k 0ro0o!a% fro' the conte/t of it! ti'e and 0%ace and turned it into a univer!a% for'u%a in order to reduce it 'ore ea!i%# to a !urdit#. In doing !o3 however3 the# have fai%ed to notice that the !tate of 9no 0eace3 no war3? or3 'ore 0reci!e%#3 of neither 0eace treaty nor war3 he%d nothing unnatura% in it!e%f. E/act%# the!e re%ation! e/i!t to<da# etween $oviet ,u!!ia and the greate!t countrie! of the wor%d B the Hnited $tate! and 4reat )ritain. LIM +rue3 it wa! not # our wi!h that the# eca'e e!ta %i!hed a! !uch3 ut that doe! not a%ter 'atter!. "oreover3 there i! a countr# with which we have e!ta %i!hed e/act%# tho!e re%ation! of 9no 0eace3 no war? on our own initiative B I refer to ,ou'ania. 5hi%e attri uting to 'e a univer!a% for'u%a which the# 0ortra# a! !heer a !urdit#3 '# critic! !ee' to e ver# ignorant of the fact that the# are re0roducing the 9a !urd? for'u%a in the e/i!ting re%ation! of the $oviet Hnion with 'an# other countrie!. Aow did =enin hi'!e%f regard the )re!t<=itov!k e0i!ode when it wa! a thing of the 0a!tE =enin genera%%# con!idered occa!iona% difference! of o0inion with 'e a! not worth 'entioning. )ut 'ore than once he !0oke of 9the tre'endou! 0ro0agandi!t i'0ortance of the )re!t<=itov!k negotiation!.? (For in!tance3 in hi! !0eech of "a# 1;3 191G.) 1t the congre!! of the 0art# a #ear after the 0eace3 =enin re'arked& 9Our e/tre'e i!o%ation fro' 5e!tern Euro0e and a%% the other countrie! de0rived u! of an# o @ective 'ateria%! for @udging the 0o!!i %e rate of deve%o0'ent3 or the for'! of growth3 of the 0ro%etarian revo%ution in the 5e!t. +he re!u%t of a%% thi! co'0%icated !ituation wa! that the Cue!tion of the )re!t<=itov!k 0eace rought out 'an# difference! of o0inion in our 0art#.? (+he !0eech of "arch 1G3 1919.) +here re'ain! the Cue!tion of the ehavior3 during tho!e da#!3 of '# %ater critic! and accu!er!. For a%'o!t a #ear3 )ukharin had fought furiou!%# with =enin and 'e3 threatening to !0%it the 0art#. Ku# #!hev3 Yaro!%av!k#3 )u nov3 and 'an# of the other current 0i%%ar! of $ta%ini!' were with hi'. 6inoviev3 on the contrar#3 de'anded an i''ediate !igning of the 0eace3 for!wearing the 0ro0agandi!t 0o!!i i%itie! of )re!t<=itov!k. =enin and I were unani'ou! in conde'ning thi! !tand. Ka'enev agreed with '# for'u%a whi%e he wa! at )re!t<=itov!k3 ut @oined =enin on hi! return to "o!cow. ,#kov wa! not on the *entra% *o''ittee at the ti'e3 and !o took no 0art in the deciding conference!. 8-er-hin!k# wa! again!t =enin3 ut on the %a!t vote went over to hi'. 5hat wa! $ta%in>! 0o!itionE 1! u!ua%3 he had none. Ae wa! !i'0%# waiting and ca%cu%ating. 9+he o%d 'an i! !ti%% ho0ing for 0eace3? he wou%d nod to 'e3 referring to =enin. 9Ae won>t get an#.? 1fterward he wou%d go to =enin and 0ro a %# 'ake the !a'e !ort of o !ervation a out 'e. Ae

never !0oke in 0u %ic. No od# wa! 'uch intere!ted in hi! contradiction!3 either. "# 0rinci0a% o @ect B to 'ake our conduct in the Cue!tion of 0eace under!tood # the wor%d 0ro%etariat in the e!t 0o!!i %e %ight B wa! no dou t a 'atter of !econdar# i'0ortance to $ta%in. Ae wa! intere!ted in 90eace in one countr#3? a! he %ater wa! in 9!ocia%i!' in one countr#.? In the deciding vote3 he @oined =enin. It wa! not unti% !evera% #ear! %ater that he worked out a !e' %ance of a 90oint of view? for hi'!e%f on the event! of )re!t<=itov!k3 and that wa! !i'0%# in the intere!t! of hi! !trugg%e again!t +rot!k#i!'. It i! hard%# nece!!ar# to dwe%% 'uch %onger on a%% thi!. 1! it i!3 I have devoted a di!0ro0ortionate%# %arge !0ace to the di!agree'ent! at )re!t<=itov!k. )ut it !ee'ed nece!!ar# to di!c%o!e at %ea!t one of the de ata %e e0i!ode! in a%% it! co'0%etene!!3 to !how what rea%%# ha00ened3 and how it wa! re0re!ented %ater. 1nd with thi! I wanted to 0ut the e0igone! in their 0%ace!. 1! regard! =enin B no !eriou! 0er!on wi%% !u!0ect that I a' guided in '# attitude toward hi' # the !enti'ent known in 4er'an a! 9,echthaberei.? =ong efore an#one e%!e3 I 'ade a 0u %ic a00reciation of =enin>! 0art in the )re!t<=itov!k da#!. On Octo er 33 191G3 at the e/traordinar# @oint 'eeting of the higher organ! of the $oviet govern'ent3 I !aid& 9I dee' it '# dut# to !a#3 in thi! authoritative a!!e' %#3 that at the hour when 'an# of u!3 inc%uding '#!e%f3 were dou tfu% a! to whether it wa! ad'i!!i %e for u! to !ign the )re!t<=itov!k 0eace3 on%# *o'rade =enin 'aintained !tu orn%#3 with a'a-ing fore!ight and again!t our o00o!ition3 that we had to go through with it to tide u! over unti% the revo%ution of the wor%d 0ro%etariat. 1nd now3 we 'u!t ad'it that we were wrong.? I did not wait for the de%a#ed reve%ation! fro' the e0igone! to recogni-e the 0o%itica% courage of =enin>! geniu!3 which had !aved the dictator!hi0 of the 0ro%etariat in the )re!t<=itov!k da#!. In the word! I have @u!t Cuoted3 I took u0on '#!e%f a %arger !hare of re!0on!i i%it# for the error! of other! than wa! rea%%# '# due. I did it a! an e/a'0%e to the other!. 1t thi! 0oint3 the !tenogra0hic re0ort note! 90ro%onged ovation.? +he 0art# wanted to !how in thi! wa# that it under!tood and a00reciated '# attitude toward =enin3 an attitude devoid of @ea%ou!# or 0ettine!!. I rea%i-ed on%# too we%% what =enin 'eant to the revo%ution3 to hi!tor#3 and to 'e. Ae wa! '# 'a!ter. +hi! doe! not 'ean that I re0eated hi! word! and ge!ture! a it %ate3 ut that I %earned fro' hi' to arrive inde0endent%# at the !a'e deci!ion.

'otes
1. The Fa1ine in )o iet !"ssia- 1919>19G3H the &2erations of the A1eri+an !elief Ad1inistration3 # A.A. Fi!her. New York& the "ac'i%%an *o'0an#3 19I;. I. 5ritten efore the recent re!u'0tion of di0%o'atic re%ation! etween $oviet ,u!!ia and 4reat )ritain. B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life

%3APT(! <<<000

A M&'T3 AT )V04A;3)5
+he !0ring and !u''er of 191G were unu!ua%%# hard. 1%% the after'ath of the war wa! then @u!t eginning to 'ake it!e%f fe%t 1t ti'e!3 it !ee'ed a! if ever#thing were !%i00ing and cru' %ing3 a! if there were nothing to ho%d to3 nothing to %ean u0on. One wondered if a countr# !o de!0airing3 !o econo'ica%%# e/hau!ted3 !o deva!tated3 had enough !a0 %eft in it to !u00ort a new regi'e and 0re!erve it! inde0endence. +here wa! no food. +here wa! no ar'#. +he rai%wa#! were co'0%ete%# di!organi-ed. +he 'achiner# of !tate wa! @u!t eginning to take !ha0e. *on!0iracie! were eing hatched ever#where. In the 5e!t3 the 4er'an! occu0ied Po%and3 =ithuania3 =atvia3 5hite ,u!!ia and a %arge !ection of 4reat ,u!!ia. P!kov wa! in their hand!. +he Hkraine eca'e an 1u!tro<4er'an co%on#. On the (o%ga3 in the !u''er of 191G3 agent! of France and Eng%and engineered a re e%%ion of *-echo<$%ovak regi'ent!3 'ade u0 of for'er war 0ri!oner!. +he 4er'an high co''and %et 'e know3 through their 'i%itar# re0re!entative!3 that if the 5hite! a00roached "o!cow fro' the ea!t3 the 4er'an! wou%d co'e fro' the we!t3 fro' the direction of Or!ha and P!kov3 to 0revent the for'ing of a new ea!tern front. 5e were etween ha''er and anvi%. In the North3 the French and Eng%i!h occu0ied "ur'an!k and 1rchange%3 and threatened an advance on (o%ogda. In Yaro!%av%3 there roke out an in!urrection of the 5hite 4uard!3 organi-ed # $avinkov at the in!tigation of the French a' a!!ador Nou%en! and the Eng%i!h re0re!entative =ockhart3 with the o @ect of connecting the northern troo0! with the *-echo<$%ovak! and 5hite 4uard! on the (o%ga3 # wa# of (o%ogda and Yaro!%av%. In the Hra%!3 8utov>! and! were at %arge. In the $outh3 on the 8on3 an u0 ri!ing wa! !0reading under the %eader!hi0 of 4enera% Kra!nov3 then in actua% a%%iance with the 4er'an!. +he %eft $ocia%i!t ,evo%utioni!t! organi-ed a con!0irac# in 7u%# and 'urdered *ount "ir achD the# tried3 at the !a'e ti'e3 to !tart an u0ri!ing on the ea!tern front. +he# wanted to force u! into war with 4er'an#. +he civi%<war front wa! taking 'ore and 'ore the !ha0e of a noo!e c%o!ing ever tighter a out "o!cow. 1fter the fa%% of $i' ir!k3 it wa! decided that I !hou%d go to the (o%ga3 where we were facing the greate!t danger. I egan to get a !0ecia% train read# B in tho!e da#!3 not !o !i'0%e a 'atter. Ever#thing wa! 'i!!ing3 or3 to e 'ore e/act3 no one knew where to find an#thing. +he !i'0%e!t ta!k eca'e a co'0%icated i'0rovi!ation. I never i'agined then that I wou%d have to %ive in that train for two #ear! and a ha%f. I %eft "o!cow on 1ugu!t ;3 !ti%% ignorant of the fa%% of Ka-an the da# eforeD on%# en route did I hear that ver# di!tur ing new!. ,ed unit! ha!ti%# drawn u0 for !ervice had %eft their 0o!t! without a !trugg%e and had ared the defen!e! of Ka-an. Part of the !taff 0roved to e traitor!D the other! had een caught off guard and had to run for !afet# a! e!t the# cou%d3 under a rain of u%%et!. No one knew where the co''ander<in<chief or the other co''anding officer! were. "# train !to00ed at $vi#a-h!k3 the neare!t !i-a %e !tation to Ka-an. +here3 for a who%e 'onth3 the fate of the revo%ution hung again in the a%ance. +hat 'onth wa! a great training<!choo% for 'e.

+he ar'# at $vi#a-h!k wa! 'ade u0 of detach'ent! which had retreated fro' $i' ir!k and Ka-an3 and of a!!i!ting unit! ru!hed in fro' a%% direction!. Each unit %ived it! own di!tinct %ife3 !haring in co''on on%# a readine!! to retreat B !o !u0erior were the ene'# in oth organi-ation and e/0erience. $o'e 5hite co'0anie! 'ade u0 e/c%u!ive%# of officer! 0erfor'ed 'irac%e!. +he !oi% it!e%f !ee'ed to e infected with 0anic. +he fre!h ,ed detach'ent!3 arriving in vigorou! 'ood3 were i''ediate%# ingu%fed # the inertia of retreat. 1 ru'or egan to !0read a'ong the %oca% 0ea!antr# that the $oviet! were doo'ed. Prie!t! and trade!'en %ifted their head!. +he revo%utionar# e%e'ent! in the vi%%age! went into hiding. Ever# thing wa! cru' %ingD there wa! nothing to ho%d to. +he !ituation !ee'ed ho0e%e!!. Aere3 efore Ka-an3 one cou%d !ee on a !'a%% !tretch of %and the 'u%ti0%e diver!it# of the factor! in hu'an hi!tor#3 and cou%d draw u0 argu'ent! again!t that coward%# hi!torica% fata%i!' which3 on a%% concrete Cue!tion!3 hide! ehind the 0a!!ive working of the %aw of cau!e and effect3 ignoring the whi%e that 'o!t i'0ortant factor B the %iving and active 'an. *ou%d 'uch 'ore e needed to overthrow the revo%utionE It! territor# wa! now reduced to the !i-e of the ancient "o!cow 0rinci0a%it#. It had hard%# an# ar'#D it wa! !urrounded # ene'ie! on a%% !ide!. 1fter Ka-an wou%d have co'e the turn of Ni@ni Novgorod3 fro' which a 0ractica%%# uno !tructed road %a# o0en to "o!cow. +he fate of the revo%ution wa! eing decided here at $vi#a-h!k. 1nd here3 at the 'o!t critica% 'o'ent3 it re!ted on a !ing%e atta%ion3 on one co'0an#3 on the courage of one co''i!!ar#. In !hort3 it rea%%# wa! hanging # a thread. 1nd thu! it went3 da# in and da# out. 8e!0ite a%% thi!3 the revo%ution wa! !aved. 5hat wa! needed for thatE (er# %itt%e. +he front rank! of the 'a!!e! had to rea%i-e the 'orta% danger in the !ituation. +he fir!t reCui!ite for !ucce!! wa! to hide nothing3 our weakne!! %ea!t of a%%D not to trif%e with the 'a!!e! ut to ca%% ever#thing # it! right na'e. +he revo%ution wa! !ti%% ver# irre!0on!i %eD the Octo er victor# had een won ver# ea!i%#. 1t the !a'e ti'e the revo%ution had not re'oved3 # a !ing%e !troke3 a%% the hard!hi0! that had fo!tered it. +he !0ontaneou! 0re!!ure had re%a/ed. +he ene'# wa! gaining it! !ucce!!e! through 'i%itar# organi-ation3 the ver# thing we did not have. )ut the revo%ution wa! achieving it3 efore Ka-an. +he 0ro0aganda throughout the countr# wa! eing fed # te%egra'! fro' $vi#a-h!k. +he $oviet!3 the 0art#3 the trade!<union!3 a%% devoted the'!e%ve! to rai!ing new detach'ent!3 and !ent thou!and! of co''uni!t! to the Ka-an front. "o!t of the #outh of the 0art# did not know how to hand%e ar'!3 ut the# had the wi%% to win3 and that wa! the 'o!t i'0ortant thing. +he# 0ut ack one into the !oft od# of the ar'#. +he co''ander<in<chief on the ea!tern front wa! *o%one% (at-eti!3 who had een in co''and of a divi!ion of =atvian ,if%e!. +hi! wa! the on%# unit %eft over fro' the o%d ar'#. +he =atvian far'<hand!3 %a orer!3 and 0oor 0ea!ant! hated the )a%tic aron!. *-ari!' had ca0ita%i-ed thi! antagoni!' in the war with the 4er'an!3 and the =atvian regi'ent! had een the e!t troo0! in the *-ar>! ar'#. 1fter the Fe ruar# revo%ution3 the# ca'e a%'o!t to a 'an under the )o%!hevik inf%uence3 and 0%a#ed an i'0ortant ro%e in the Octo er revo%ution. (at-eti! wa! enter0ri!ing3 energetic and re!ourcefu%. Ae had di!tingui!hed hi'!e%f during the in!urrection of the %eft $ocia%i!t<,evo%utioni!t!. Hnder hi! direction3 %ight gun! were 0%aced in front of the con!0irator!> headCuarter!3 and two or three vo%%e#!3 'ere%# to frighten the' without ca!ua%tie!3 were enough to 'ake the' take to their hee%!. (at-eti! re0%aced "urav#ov after the trea!on of the adventurer

in the ea!t. Hn%ike the other officer! trained at the 'i%itar# acade'#3 he never %o!t hi'!e%f in the chao! of the revo%ution3 ut 0%unged cheerfu%%# in3 %owing u %e!3 a00ea%ing3 e/horting3 giving order! even when there wa! %itt%e ho0e of their eing carried out. 5hi%e other 9!0ecia%i!t!? in govern'ent !ervice were 'ore fearfu% of over!te00ing their authorit# than of an#thing e%!e3 (at-eti! in hi! 'o'ent! of in!0iration wou%d i!!ue order! a! if the $oviet of *o''i!!arie! and the *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee did not e/i!t. 1 out a #ear %ater3 he wa! accu!ed of du iou! !che'e! and connection! and had to e di!'i!!ed3 ut there wa! rea%%# nothing !eriou! a out the accu!ation!. Perha0! efore going to !%ee03 the cha0 had een reading Na0o%eon>! iogra0h#3 and confided hi! a' itiou! drea'! to two or three #oung officer!. +oda#3 (at-eti! i! a 0rofe!!or in the 'i%itar# acade'#. In the retreat fro' Ka-an on 1ugu!t Q3 he wa! one of the %a!t to %eave the !taff headCuarter! when the 5hite! were a%read# entering the ui%ding. Ae 'anaged to 'ake hi! e!ca0e3 and arrived at $vi#a-h!k # wa# of a circuitou! route3 having %o!t Ka-an ut not hi! o0ti'i!'. 5e con!idered the 'ore i'0ortant Cue!tion! together3 a00ointed the =atvian officer $%avin co''ander of the Fifth ar'# and !aid good< # to each other. (at-eti! %eft for hi! !taff headCuarter! and I re'ained at $vi#a-h!k. 1'ong the 0art# worker! who arrived on the !a'e train with 'e wa! a 'an na'ed 4u!ev. Ae wa! ca%%ed an 9o%d )o%!hevik? ecau!e of hi! !hare in the revo%ution of 1925. Ae had retired to ourgeoi! %ife for the ne/t ten #ear!3 ut3 %ike 'an# other!3 returned to revo%ution in 191;. =ater =enin and I re'oved hi' fro' 'i%itar# work ecau!e of !o'e 0ett# intrigue!3 and he wa! i''ediate%# 0icked u0 # $ta%in. Ai! !0ecia% vocation to<da# i! chief%# that of fa%!if#ing the hi!tor# of the civi% war3 for which hi! 'ain Cua%ification i! hi! a0athetic c#nici!'. =ike the re!t of the $ta%in !choo%3 he never %ook! ack over what he ha! written or !aid efore. 1t the eginning of 19IT3 when the ca'0aign again!t 'e wa! a%read# Cuite overt3 4u!ev 0%a#ed hi! ro%e of 0h%eg'atic !%anderer. )ut the 'e'or# of tho!e da#! at $vi#a-h!k3 de!0ite the !i/ intervening #ear!3 wa! !ti%% too fre!h3 and acted a! a check on even hi'. +hi! i! what he !aid then of the event! efore Ka-an& 9+he arriva% of *o'rade +rot!k# worked a deci!ive change in the !ituation. In *o'rade +rot!k#>! train to the o !cure !tation of $vi#a-h!k3 there ca'e a fir' wi%% to victor#3 a new !en!e of initiative3 and re!o%ute 0re!!ure in a%% 0ha!e! of the ar'# work. 9Fro' the ver# fir!t da#!3 ever# one egan to fee% that !o'e a ru0t change had taken 0%ace3 not on%# at the !tation B the active ca'0aign headCuarter! of the 0o%itica% !ection and the ar'# !u00%# !taff3 cra''ed with the !u00%# train! of count%e!! regi'ent! B ut even in ar'# unit! !tationed a out fifteen (ersts awa#. It wa! fir!t a00arent in the 'atter of di!ci0%ine. *o'rade +rot!k#>! har!h 'ethod! ... were 'o!t e/0edient and nece!!ar# for that 0eriod of undi!ci0%ined and irregu%ar warfare. Per!ua!ion counted for nothing3 and there wa! no ti'e for it. 1nd !o3 during the twent#<five da#! that *o'rade +rot!k# !0ent at $vi#a-h!k3 a tre'endou! a'ount of work wa! done3 with the re!u%t that the di!organi-ed and de'ora%i-ed unit! of the Fifth ar'# were changed into the fighting unit! that %ater reca0tured Ka-an.? +rea!on had ne!t! a'ong the !taff and the co''anding officer!D in fact3 ever#where. +he ene'# knew where to !trike and a%'o!t a%wa#! did !o with certaint#. It wa! di!couraging. $oon after '# arriva%3 I vi!ited the front<%ine atterie!. +he di!0o!ition of the arti%%er# wa! eing e/0%ained to 'e # an e/0erienced officer3 a 'an with a face roughened # wind and with i'0enetra %e e#e!. Ae a!ked for 0er'i!!ion to %eave 'e for a 'o'ent3 to give !o'e order! over the fie%d<te%e0hone. 1 few 'inute! %ater two !he%%! dro00ed3 fork<wi!e3 fift# !te0! awa# fro' where we were

!tandingD a third dro00ed Cuite c%o!e to u!. I had are%# ti'e to %ie down3 and wa! covered with earth. +he officer !tood 'otion%e!! !o'e di!tance awa#3 hi! face !howing 0a%e through hi! tan. $trange%# enough3 I !u!0ected nothing at the 'o'entD I thought it wa! !i'0%# an accident. +wo #ear! %ater I !udden%# re'e' ered the who%e affair3 and3 a! I reca%%ed it in it! !'a%%e!t detai%3 it dawned on 'e that the officer wa! an ene'#3 and that through !o'e inter'ediate 0oint he had co''unicated with the ene'# atter# # te%e0hone3 and had to%d the' where to fire. Ae ran a dou %e ri!k B of getting ki%%ed a%ong with 'e # a 5hite !he%%3 or of eing !hot # the ,ed!. I have no idea what ha00ened to hi' %ater. I had no !ooner returned to '# carriage than I heard rif%e<!hot! a%% a out 'e. I ru!hed to the door. 1 5hite air0%ane wa! circ%ing a ove u!3 o viou!%# tr#ing to hit the train. +hree o' ! dro00ed on a wide curve3 one after another3 ut did no da'age. Fro' the roof! of our train rif%e! and 'achine<gun! were !hooting at the ene'#. +he air0%ane ro!e out of reach3 ut the fu!i%%ade went on B it !ee'ed a! if ever# one were drunk. 5ith con!idera %e difficu%t# I 'anaged to !to0 the !hooting. Po!!i %# the !a'e arti%%er# officer had !ent word a! to the ti'e of '# return to the train. )ut there 'a# have een other !ource! a! we%%. +he 'ore ho0e%e!! the 'i%itar# !ituation of the revo%ution3 the 'ore active the trea!on. It wa! nece!!ar#3 no 'atter what the co!t3 to overco'e a! Cuick%# a! 0o!!i %e the auto'atic inertia of retreat3 in which 'en no %onger e%ieve that the# can !to03 face a out3 and !trike the ene'# in the che!t. I rought a out fift# #oung 0art# 'en fro' "o!cow with 'e on the train. +he# !i'0%# outdid the'!e%ve!3 !te00ing into the reach and fair%# 'e%ting awa# efore '# ver# e#e! through the reck%e!!ne!! of their heroi!' and !heer ine/0erience. +he 0o!t! ne/t to their! were he%d # the fourth =atvian regi'ent. Of a%% the regi'ent! of the =atvian divi!ion that had een !o ad%# 0u%%ed to 0iece!3 thi! wa! the wor!t. +he 'en %a# in the 'ud under the rain and de'anded re%ief3 ut there wa! no re%ief avai%a %e. +he co''ander of the regi'ent and the regi'enta% co''ittee !ent 'e a !tate'ent to the effect that un%e!! the regi'ent wa! re%ieved at once 9con!eCuence! dangerou! for the revo%ution? wou%d fo%%ow. It wa! a threat. I !u''oned the co''ander of the regi'ent and the chair'an of the co''ittee to '# car. +he# !u%%en%# he%d to their !tate'ent. I dec%ared the' under arre!t. +he co''unication! officer of the train3 who i! now the co''ander of the Kre'%in3 di!ar'ed the' in '# co'0art'ent. +here were on%# two of u! on the train !taffD the re!t were fighting at the front. If the 'en arre!ted had !howed an# re!i!tance3 or if their regi'ent had decided to defend the' and had %eft the front %ine3 the !ituation 'ight have een de!0erate. 5e !hou%d have had to !urrender $vi#a-h!k and the ridge acro!! the (o%ga. +he ca0ture of '# train # the ene'# wou%d undou ted%# have had it! effect on the ar'#. +he road to "o!cow wou%d have een %eft o0en. )ut the arre!t ca'e off !afe%#. In an order to the ar'#3 I announced the co''it'ent of the co''ander of the regi'ent to tria% efore the revo%utionar# tri una%. +he regi'ent re'ained at it! 0o!t. +he co''ander wa! 'ere%# !entenced to 0ri!on. +he co''uni!t! were e/0%aining3 e/horting3 and offering e/a'0%e3 ut agitation a%one cou%d not radica%%# change the attitude of the troo0!3 and the !ituation did not a%%ow !ufficient ti'e for that. 5e had to decide on !terner 'ea!ure!. I i!!ued an order which wa! 0rinted on the 0re!! in '# train and di!tri uted throughout the ar'#& 9I give warning that if an# unit retreat! without order!3 the fir!t to e !hot down wi%% e the co''i!!ar# of the unit3 and ne/t the co''ander. )rave and ga%%ant !o%dier! wi%% e a00ointed in their 0%ace!. *oward!3 a!tard! and traitor! wi%% not e!ca0e the u%%et. +hi! I !o%e'n%# 0ro'i!e in the 0re!ence of the entire ,ed 1r'#.?

Of cour!e the change did not co'e a%% at once. Individua% detach'ent! continued to retreat without cau!e3 or e%!e wou%d reak under the fir!t !trong on!et. $vi#a-h!k wa! o0en to attack. On the (o%ga3 a !tea' oat wa! he%d read# for the !taff. +en 'en of '# train crew3 'ounted on ic#c%e!3 were on guard over the 0athwa# etween the !taff headCuarter! and the !tea'!hi0 %anding. +he 'i%itar# $oviet of the Fifth ar'# 0ro0o!ed that I 'ove to the river. It wa! a wi!e !ugge!tion3 ut I wa! afraid of the ad effect on an ar'# a%read# nervou! and %acking in a!!urance. 7u!t at that ti'e3 the !ituation at the front !udden%# grew wor!e. +he fre!h regi'ent on which we had een anking %eft it! 0o!t3 with it! co''i!!ar# and co''ander at it! head3 and !ei-ed the !tea'er # threat of ar'!3 intending to !tea' to Ni@ni<Novgorod. 1 wave of a%ar' !we0t over the front. Ever# one egan to %ook toward the river. +he !ituation !ee'ed a%'o!t ho0e%e!!. +he !taff re'ained at it! 0o!t3 though the ene'# wa! on%# a ki%o'etre or two awa# and !he%%! were ur!ting c%o!e at hand. I had a ta%k with the indi!0en!a %e "arkin. )oarding an i'0rovi!ed gun oat with a !core of te!ted 'en3 he !ai%ed u0 to the !tea'er he%d # the de!erter!3 and at the 0oint of a gun de'anded their !urrender. Ever#thing de0ended on that one 'o'entD a !ing%e rif%e<!hot wou%d have een enough to ring on a cata!tro0he. )ut the de!erter! !urrendered without re!i!ting. +he !tea'er docked a%ong!ide the 0ier3 the de!erter! di!e' arked. I a00ointed a fie%d<tri una% which 0a!!ed death<!entence! on the co''ander3 the co''i!!ar#3 and !evera% 0rivate! B to a gangrenou! wound a red<hot iron wa! a00%ied. I e/0%ained the !ituation to the regi'ent without hiding or !oftening an#thing. 1 nu' er of co''uni!t! were in@ected into the regi'ent3 which returned to the att%e front with new co''anding officer! and a new !0irit. Ever#thing ha00ened !o Cuick%# that the ene'# did not have ti'e to take advantage of the di!tur ance in our rank!. It wa! nece!!ar# to organi-e an aviation !ervice. I ca%%ed u0 an engineer<0i%ot3 1ka!hev3 who3 though an anarchi!t # conviction3 wa! working with u!. 1ka!hev !howed hi! initiative and Cuick%# rounded u0 an air !Cuadron. 1t %a!t we got with it! he%0 a fu%% 0icture of the ene'# frontD the co''and of the Fifth ar'# had co'e out of the dark. +he f%ier! 'ade dai%# air raid! on Ka-an3 and a fren-# of a%ar' took ho%d of the cit#. $o'e ti'e %ater3 after Ka-an had een taken3 I received !o'e docu'ent! that inc%uded the diar# of a ourgeoi! gir% who went through the !iege of Ka-an. Page! were given over to de!cri0tion! of the 0anic that our air'en cau!ed3 and a%ternated with 0age! de!cri ing the gir%>! affair! of the heart. =ife went on. *-ech officer! vied with ,u!!ian. 1ffair! egun in the drawing<roo'! of Ka-an ran their cour!e and reached their fina%e in the ce%%ar! that !erved a! !he%ter! fro' the o' !. On the twent#<eighth of 1ugu!t3 the 5hite! %aunched an outf%anking 'ove'ent. *o%one% Ka00e%3 %ater a ce%e rated 5hite genera%3 0enetrated to our rear under cover of darkne!!3 with a !trong detach'ent ehind hi'3 and !ei-ed a !'a%% rai%wa# !tation3 de!tro#ed the track!3 and cut down the te%egra0h<0o%e!. 5hen he had cut off our retreat in thi! wa#3 he advanced to attack $vi#a-h!k. If I a' not 'i!taken3 Ka00e%>! !taff inc%uded $avinkov. +hi! 'ove caught u! Cuite off our guard. 5e were afraid to di!ru0t the a%read# !hak# front3 and !o we withdrew on%# two or three co'0anie!. +he co''ander of '# train again 'o i%i-ed ever# one he cou%d %a# hi! hand! on3 oth in the train and at the !tation3 inc%uding even the cook. 5e had a good !tock of rif%e!3 'achine<gun! and hand<grenade!. +he train crew wa! 'ade u0 of good fighter!. +he 'en took their 0o!t! a out a (erst fro' the train. +he att%e went on for a out eight hour!3 and oth !ide! had %o!!e!. Fina%%#3 after the# had !0ent the'!e%ve!3 the ene'# withdrew. "eanwhi%e the reak

in the connection with $vi#a-h!k had !tirred u0 "o!cow and the who%e %ine. $'a%% unit! were ru!hed to our re%ief. +he %ine wa! Cuick%# re0airedD fre!h detach'ent! 0oured into the ar'#. 1t that ti'e3 the Ka-an 0a0er! were re0orting that I had een cut off3 taken 0ri!oner3 ki%%ed3 had f%own awa# in an air0%ane B ut that '# dog wa! ca0tured a! a tro0h#. +hi! faithfu% ani'a% %ater wa! ca0tured on a%% the civi%<war front!. In 'o!t ca!e!3 it wa! a choco%ate<co%ored dog3 ut !o'eti'e! a $aint )ernard. I got off a%% the chea0er ecau!e I never had an# dog. 5hi%e I wa! 'aking the round! of the !taff Cuarter! at three o>c%ock in the 'orning3 on the 'o!t critica% night at $vi#a-h!k3 I heard a fa'i%iar voice fro' the !taff<roo' !a#ing& 9Ae wi%% 0%a# thi! ga'e unti% he i! taken 0ri!oner3 and wi%% ruin hi'!e%f and a%% of u!. You 'ark '# word!.? I !to00ed at the thre!ho%d. +here3 facing 'e3 were two #oung officer! of the genera% !taff3 !itting at a ta %e and 0oring over a 'a0. +he 'an who wa! !0eaking !tood with hi! ack to 'e3 ent over the ta %e. Ae 'u!t have read !o'ething %ike a%ar' on hi! co'0anion!> face!3 for he turned !har0%# around toward the door. It wa! )%agonravov3 for'er %ieutenant in the *-ar>! ar'#3 a #oung )o%!hevik. 1n e/0re!!ion of 'ing%ed terror and !ha'e !ee'ed to free-e on hi! face. 1! a co''i!!ar#3 it wa! hi! dut# to kee0 u0 the 'ora%e of the !0ecia%i!t! attached to the ar'#. In!tead of that3 here he wa!3 at thi! critica% 'o'ent3 !tirring the' again!t 'e and actua%%# !ugge!ting that the# de!ertJ I had caught hi' red<handed3 and I cou%d !carce%# e%ieve '# e#e! or ear!. 8uring 191;3 )%agonravov had 0roved hi'!e%f a fighting revo%utionar#. Ae wa! the co''i!!ar# of the Peter<Pau% fortre!! during the revo%ution3 and %ater on he took 0art in the !u00re!!ion of the 'i%itar# !tudent!> u0ri!ing. I intru!ted hi' with i'0ortant co''i!!ion! during the $'o%n# 0eriod3 and he carried the' out we%%. 9Out of !uch a %ieutenant3? I had once !aid @oking%# to =enin3 9even a Na0o%eon 'a# co'e !o'e da#. Ae even ha! the right na'e for it& )%ago<nravov3 L1M a%'o!t %ike )ona<0arte.? =enin %aughed at thi! une/0ected co'0ari!on3 then he grew thoughtfu%3 and3 with hi! cheek one! u%ging even 'ore3 !aid ver# !eriou!%#3 a%'o!t threatening%#3 95e%%3 I think we>%% 'anage the )ona0arte!3 don>t #ouE? 9Ever#thing i! in the hand! of 4od3? I an!wered hi' in @e!t. It wa! thi! !a'e )%agonravov who' I had !ent to the Ea!t when the 0eo0%e there had een a!%ee0 to the treacher# of "urav#ov. 5hen3 in =enin>! rece0tion<roo' in the Kre'%in3 I e/0%ained hi! ta!k to )%agonravov3 he an!wered a! if he were de0re!!ed& 9+he who%e 0oint of the thing i! that the revo%ution ha! entered u0on a dec%ine.? +hat wa! in the 'idd%e of 191G. 9I! it 0o!!i %e that #ou are !0ent !o Cuick%#E? I a!ked hi'3 indignant%#. )%agonravov 0u%%ed hi'!e%f u03 changed hi! tone3 and 0ro'i!ed to do ever#thing that needed to e done. I wa! rea!!ured. 1nd now I had caught hi' on the verge of downright trea!on at our 'o!t critica% ti'eJ 5e wa%ked into the corridor !o that we need not di!cu!! it in front of the officer!. )%agonravov wa! 0a%e and tre' %ing3 with hi! hand rai!ed to hi! ca0. 9P%ea!e don>t co''it 'e to the tri una%3? he ke0t re0eating de!0airing%#. 9I wi%% earn '# re0rieve if #ou !end 'e into the %ine! a! a 0rivate.? "# 0ro0hec# had not co'e trueD here wa! '# candidate for a Na0o%eon !tanding efore 'e %ike a wet hen. Ae wa! di!'i!!ed fro' hi! 0o!t and !ent to do %e!! re!0on!i %e work.

,evo%ution i! a great devourer of 'en and character. It %ead! the rave to their de!truction and de!tro#! the !ou%! of tho!e who are %e!! hard#. +oda#3 )%agonravov i! a 'e' er of the ru%ing !taff of the $tate Po%itica% )oard (94PH?) LIM3 and one of the 0i%%ar! of the 0re!ent regi'e. Ae 'u!t have %earned to hate the 90er'anent revo%ution? when he wa! !ti%% at $vi#a-h!k. +he fate of the revo%ution wa! tre' %ing in the a%ance etween $vi#a-h!k and Ka-an. No retreat wa! o0en3 e/ce0t into the (o%ga. +he revo%utionar# $oviet of the ar'# infor'ed 'e that the 0ro %e' of '# !afet# at $vi#a-h!k re!tricted the freedo' of their action3 and de'anded that I 'ove at once a oard a !hi0 on the river. +he# were entit%ed to 'ake thi! de'and B fro' the out!et I had 'ade it a ru%e that '# 0re!ence at $vi#a-h!k !hou%d in no wa# e' arra!! or re!trict the high co''and of the ar'#. I !tuck to thi! ru%e a%% through '# !to0! at variou! front!. $o I co'0%ied with the de'and and 'oved over to the river3 not3 however3 to the 0a!!enger<!tea'er that had een 'ade read# for 'e3 ut to a tor0edo< oat. Four !'a%% tor0edo< oat! had een rought u0 to the (o%ga3 with great difficu%t#3 # wa# of the "ariin!k cana% !#!te'. )# that ti'e3 a few of the river !tea'er! a%!o had een ar'ed with gun! and 'achine<gun!. +he f%oti%%a3 under the co''and of ,a!ko%nikov3 wa! 0%anning a raid on Ka-an that night. It had to 0a!! two high head%and! on which the 5hite! had 'ounted their atterie!. )e#ond the head%and!3 the river curved and roadened out3 and there the ene'#>! f%oti%%a wa! !tationed. On the o00o!ite ank3 Ka-an %a# o0en. +he 0%an wa! to 0a!! the head%and! under cover of darkne!!3 de!tro# the ene'#>! f%oti%%a and !hore atterie!3 and !he%% the cit#. +he f%oti%%a !et out in att%e for'ation with %ight! out3 %ike a thief in the night. +wo o%d (o%ga 0i%ot!3 oth with thin %itt%e eard!3 !tood ne/t to the ca0tain. Aaving een forced to co'e a oard3 the# were in 'orta% fear ever# 'inute3 and were hating u! and cur!ing their fate3 tre' %ing the whi%e %ike a!0en!. Now ever#thing de0ended on the'. +he ca0tain re'inded the' fro' ti'e to ti'e that he wou%d !hoot oth of the' on the !0ot if the# drove the !hi0 aground. 5e had @u!t co'e a rea!t of the head%and3 ri!ing di'%# out of the dark3 when a !hot fro' a 'achine<gun %a!hed acro!! the river %ike a whi0. 1 gun!hot fo%%owed it fro' the hi%%. 5e went on !i%ent%#. )ehind u!3 fro' e%ow3 an!wering !hot! fo%%owed. $evera% u%%et! dru''ed on the iron !heet that 0rotected u! to the wai!t on the ca0tain>! ridge. 5e crouched3 and the oat!wain! !hrank down3 !earching the darkne!! with 0iercing e#e! and e/changing word! in ten!e whi!0er! with the ca0tain. Once 0a!t the head%and3 we entered the reach. )e#ond u!3 on the o00o!ite !hore3 the %ight! of Ka-an were vi!i %e. Aeav# firing wa! going on ehind u!3 fro' a ove and e%ow. Not 'ore than two hundred #ard! awa# at the right3 under cover of the hi%%# ank!3 the ene'# f%oti%%a wa! %#ing3 the oat! %oo'ing u0 a! a vague 'a!!. ,a!ko%nikov ordered the gun! to o0en fire on the oat!. +he 'eta% od# of our tor0edo< oat groaned and !hrieked with the fir!t !hot fro' it! own gun. 5e were 'oving in @erk!3 a! if that iron wo' were giving irth to !he%%! in grinding 0ain. $udden%# the darkne!! of the night wa! !tri00ed naked # a f%are B one of our !he%%! had !et fire to an oi%< arge. 1n une/0ected3 unwe%co'e3 ut re!0%endent torch ro!e a ove the (o%ga. Now we egan to fire at the 0ier. 5e cou%d !ee the gun! on it c%ear%#3 ut the# did not an!wer. +he gunner! a00arent%# had !i'0%# f%ed. +he who%e e/0an!e of river wa! %it u0. +here wa! no one ehind u!. 5e were a%oneD the ene'#>! arti%%er# o viou!%# had cut off the 0a!!age of the re!t of our oat!. Our tor0edo< oat !tood out on that right river %ike a f%# on a white 0%ate. In another 'o'ent we wou%d find our!e%ve! under the cro!!<fire fro' the head%and! and the 0ier. It

gave one the cree0!. 1nd on to0 of thi!3 we %o!t contro% of our oat. +he !teering<gear had een roken3 0ro a %# # a !hot. 5e tried to turn the rudder # hand3 ut the roken chain got tang%ed around it3 and the rudder eca'e u!e%e!!. 5e had to !to0 the engine!. +he oat wa! !%ow%# drifting toward the Ka-an ank when it ran into an o%d3 ha%f<!u 'erged arge. +he firing cea!ed a%together. It wa! a! %ight a! da# and a! !i%ent a! night. 5e were in a tra0. +he on%# thing that !ee'ed inco'0rehen!i %e wa! the fact that we were not eing 0ounded # !he%%!. 5e did not rea%i-e the de!truction and 0anic cau!ed # our raid. Fina%%#3 the #oung co''ander! decided to 0u!h awa# fro' the arge and regu%ate the 'ove'ent of the oat # running the right and %eft engine! a%ternate%#. It 0roved !ucce!!fu%. 5ith the oi% torch !ti%% %a-ing3 we went on to the head%and. +here were no !hot!. 1round the head%and3 we !ank into darkne!! again. 1 !ai%or who had fainted wa! rought u0 fro' the engine<roo'. +he atter# !tationed on the hi%% did not fire a !ing%e !hot. O viou!%# we were not eing watched3 and 0ro a %# there wa! no one there to watch u!. 5e were !aved. 1n ea!# word to write3 9!aved.? *igarette! were %ighted. +he charred re'ain! of one of our i'0rovi!ed gun oat! were %#ing !ad%# on the !hore. 5e found a few wounded 'en on the other oat!. On%# then did we notice that the ow of our tor0edo oat had een neat%# 0ierced # a three<inch !he%%. It wa! the hour efore dawn. 5e a%% fe%t a! if we had een orn a !econd ti'e. One thing fo%%owed another. 1 f%ier who had @u!t co'e down with we%co'e new! wa! rought to 'e. 1 detach'ent of the $econd ar'# under the co''and of the *o!!ack 1-in had co'e right u0 to Ka-an fro' the northea!t. +he# had ca0tured two ar'ored car!3 had di!a %ed two gun!3 routed an ene'# detach'ent3 and occu0ied two vi%%age! twe%ve (ersts awa# fro' Ka-an. +he air'an f%ew ack at once with in!truction! and an a00ea%. Ka-an wa! eing !Cuee-ed in the c%utch of the 0incer!. Our night raid3 a! we !oon %earned through our reconnai!!ance 'en3 had cracked the 5hite re!i!tance. +he ene'# f%oti%%a had een a%'o!t co'0%ete%# de!tro#ed3 and the !hore atterie! had een reduced to !i%ence. +he word 9tor0edo< oat3? on the (o%ga3 had the effect on the 5hite! that the word 9tank? had on the #oung ,ed troo0! efore Petrograd3 !o'e ti'e %ater. ,u'or! were !0read a out to the effect that the )o%!hevik! had 4er'an! fighting with the'. +he 0ro!0erou! c%a!!e! egan to f%ee in horde! fro' Ka-an. +he worker!> di!trict! %ifted their head! again. 1 revo%t roke out in the 0owder<work!. 1n aggre!!ive !0irit eca'e a00arent a'ong our troo0!. +he 'onth at $vi#a-h!k wa! cra''ed fu%% of e/citing e0i!ode!. $o'ething ha00ened ever# da#. In thi! re!0ect3 the night! Cuite often were not far ehind the da#!. It wa! the fir!t ti'e that war had unro%%ed efore 'e !o inti'ate%#. +hi! wa! a !'a%% warD on our !ide3 there were on%# a out I53222 to 323222 'en engaged. )ut the !'a%% war differed fro' a ig one on%# in !ca%e. It wa! %ike a %iving 'ode% of a war. +hat i! wh# it! f%uctuation! and !ur0ri!e! were fe%t !o direct%#. +he !'a%% war wa! a ig !choo%. "eanwhi%e3 the !ituation efore Ka-an changed e#ond recognition. Aeterogeneou! detach'ent! eca'e regu%ar unit!3 uttre!!ed # worker<co''uni!t! fro' Petrograd3 "o!cow3 and other 0%ace!. +he regi'ent! !tiffened u0. In!ide the unit!3 the co''i!!arie! acCuired the i'0ortance of revo%utionar# %eader!3 of direct re0re!entative! of the dictator!hi0. +he tri una%! de'on!trated to ever# one that revo%ution3 when threatened # 'orta% danger3 de'and! the highe!t !acrifice. Pro0aganda3 organi-ation3 revo%utionar# e/a'0%e and re0re!!ion 0roduced the nece!!ar# change

in a few week!. 1 vaci%%ating3 unre%ia %e and cru' %ing 'a!! wa! tran!for'ed into a rea% ar'#. Our arti%%er# had e'0hatica%%# e!ta %i!hed it! !u0eriorit#. Our f%oti%%a contro%%ed the river. Our air'en do'inated the air. No %onger did I dou t that we wou%d take Ka-an. $udden%#3 on $e0te' er 13 I received a code te%egra' fro' "o!cow& 9*o'e at once. (%adi'ir I%#ich wounded3 how dangerou!%# not #et known. *o'0%ete order 0revai%!. 1ugu!t 313 191G. $v#erd%ov.? I %eft at once. +he 'ood of the 0art# circ%e! in "o!cow wa! !u%%en and di!'a%3 ut the# were a !o%ute%# un!haka %e. +he e!t e/0re!!ion of thi! deter'ination wa! $v#erd%ov. +he 0h#!ician! dec%ared that =enin>! %ife wa! not in danger3 and 0ro'i!ed an ear%# recover#. I encouraged the 0art# with the 0ro!0ect! of !ucce!! in the Ea!t3 and returned at once to $vi#a-h!k. Ka-an wa! taken on $e0te' er 12. +wo da#! %ater3 $i' ir!k wa! occu0ied # our Fir!t ar'#. +hi! wa! no !ur0ri!e to 'e. +he co''ander of the Fir!t ar'#3 +ukhachev!k#3 had 0ro'i!ed at the end of 1ugu!t that he wou%d take $i' ir!k not %ater than $e0te' er 1I. 5hen the town wa! taken3 he !ent a te%egra'& 9Order carried out. $i' ir!k taken.? "eanwhi%e3 =enin had een recovering. Ae !ent a @u i%ant te%egra' of greeting!. +hing! were i'0roving a%% a%ong the %ine. +he Fifth ar'# wa! now headed # Ivan Nikitich $'irnov. +hi! wa! va!t%# i'0ortant. $'irnov re0re!ented the 'o!t co'0%ete and fini!hed revo%utionar# t#0eD he had entered the rank! thirt# #ear! efore3 and had neither known nor !ought for re%ief. In the darke!t #ear! of the reaction3 $'irnov went on digging underground 0a!!age!. 5hen the# caved in3 he did not %o!e heart ut egan a%% over again. Ivan Nikitich wa! a%wa#! a 'an of dut#. In thi! re!0ect3 a revo%utionar# re!e' %e! a good !o%dier3 and that i! wh# a revo%utionar# can eco'e a fine one. O e#ing on%# the de'and! of hi! own nature3 Ivan Nikitich wa! a%wa#! a 'ode% of fir'ne!! and raver#3 without that crue%t# which !o often acco'0anie! the'. 1%% the fine!t worker! of the ar'# egan to take hi' a! their e/a'0%e. 9No one wa! 'ore re!0ected than Ivan Nikitich3? wrote =ari!!a ,ei!ner in her de!cri0tion of the !iege of Ka-an. 9One fe%t that at the 'o!t critica% 'o'ent he wou%d e the !tronge!t and the rave!t.? $'irnov ha! not a trace of 0edantr#. Ae i! the 'o!t !ocia %e3 cheerfu%3 and witt# of 'en. Peo0%e !u 'it to hi! authorit# a%% the 'ore readi%# ecau!e it i! not at a%% o viou! or 0ere'0tor#3 even though Cuite indi!0uta %e. 1! the# grou0ed the'!e%ve! a out $'irnov3 the co''uni!t! of the Fifth ar'# for'ed a !e0arate 0o%itica% fa'i%# which even to<da#3 !evera% #ear! after the %iCuidation of that Fifth ar'#3 0%a#! a 0art in the %ife of the countr#. 91 Fifth<ar'# 'an3? in the %e/icon of the revo%ution3 carrie! a !0ecia% 'eaningD it denote! a true revo%utionar#3 a 'an of dut# and3 a ove a%%3 a !cru0u%ou! one. 5ith Ivan Nikitich3 the 'en of the Fifth ar'#3 after the ter'ination of the civi% war3 tran!ferred a%% their heroi!' to econo'ic!3 and a%'o!t without e/ce0tion found the'!e%ve! in the rank! of the o00o!ition. $'irnov !tood at the head of the 'i%itar# indu!tr#3 then he he%d the office of co''i!!ar# of 0o!t and te%egra0h. +o<da#3 he i! in e/i%e in the *auca!u!. In 0ri!on! and in $i eria #ou wi%% find 'an# of hi! fe%%ow heroe! of the Fifth ar'#. )ut revo%ution i! a great devourer of 'en and characterJ +he %ate!t re0ort! have it that even $'irnov ha! een roken # the !trugg%e and i! 0reaching !urrender. =ari!!a ,ei!ner3 who ca%%ed Ivan Nikitich 9the con!cience of $vi#a-h!k3? wa! her!e%f 0ro'inent in the Fifth ar'#3 a! we%% a! in the revo%ution a! a who%e. +hi! fine #oung wo'an f%a!hed acro!! the revo%utionar# !k# %ike a urning 'eteor3 %inding 'an#. 5ith her a00earance of an O%#'0ian

godde!!3 !he co' ined a !u t%e and ironica% 'ind and the courage of a warrior. 1fter the ca0ture of Ka-an # the 5hite!3 !he went into the ene'# ca'0 to reconnoitre3 di!gui!ed a! a 0ea!ant wo'an. )ut her a00earance wa! too e/traordinar#3 and !he wa! arre!ted. 5hi%e !he wa! eing cro!!<e/a'ined # a 7a0ane!e inte%%igence officer3 !he took advantage of an interva% to !%i0 through the care%e!!%# guarded door and di!a00ear. 1fter that3 !he engaged in inte%%igence work. =ater3 !he !ai%ed on war< oat! and took 0art in att%e!. Aer !ketche! a out the civi% war are %iterature. 5ith eCua% gu!to3 !he wou%d write a out the Hra% indu!trie! and the ri!ing of the worker! in the ,uhr. $he wa! an/iou! to know and to !ee a%%3 and to take 0art in ever#thing. In a few rief #ear!3 !he eca'e a writer of the fir!t rank. )ut after co'ing un!cathed through fire and water3 thi! Pa%%a! of the revo%ution !udden%# urned u0 with t#0hu! in the 0eacefu% !urrounding! of "o!cow3 efore !he wa! even thirt#. One good worker @oined another. Hnder fire3 'en %earned in a week. +he ar'# wa! taking !ha0e 'agnificent%#. +he %owe!t e of the revo%ution B the 'o'ent of the fa%% of Ka-an B wa! now ehind u!. 1%ong with thi!3 a tre'endou! change wa! taking 0%ace in the 0ea!antr#. +he 5hite! were teaching the #ou7hi$s their 0o%itica% 1)*>!. 8uring the en!uing !even 'onth!3 the ,ed 1r'# c%eared a territor# of near%# a 'i%%ion !Cuare ki%o'etre!3 with a 0o0u%ation of fort# 'i%%ion!. +he revo%ution wa! again advancing. 5hen the# f%ed fro' Ka-an3 the 5hite! carried awa# with the' the go%d re!erve! of the re0u %ic3 which had een !tored there !ince the Fe ruar# offen!ive of 4enera% Aoff'ann. 5e reca0tured the' con!idera %# %ater3 and with the' 1d'ira% Ko%chak. 5hen I wa! at %a!t a %e to take '# e#e! fro' $vi#a-h!k3 I o !erved that certain change! had taken 0%ace in Euro0e. +he 4er'an ar'# wa! in a ho0e%e!! 0o!ition.

'otes
1. In ,u!!ian thi! 'ean! 9good<natured? or 9good<'annered.? B Trans. I. +he 4PH3 which i! the a reviation of 94o!udar!tvenno#e Po%itiche!ko#e H0rav%eni#e3? i.e.3 9$tate Po%itica% )oard3? i! the $oviet organi-ation of !ecret 0o%ice. B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <<<0V

T3( T!A0'

Now it i! ti'e to !0eak of 9+he train of the Predrevo#en!oviet.? L1M 8uring the 'o!t !trenuou! #ear! of the revo%ution3 '# own 0er!ona% %ife wa! ound u0 in!e0ara %# with the %ife of that train. +he train3 on the other hand3 wa! in!e0ara %# ound u0 with the %ife of the ,ed 1r'#. +he train %inked the front with the a!e3 !o%ved urgent 0ro %e'! on the !0ot3 educated3 a00ea%ed3 !u00%ied3 rewarded3 and 0uni!hed. 1n ar'# cannot e ui%t without re0ri!a%!. "a!!e! of 'en cannot e %ed to death un%e!! the ar'# co''and ha! the death<0ena%t# in it! ar!ena%. $o %ong a! tho!e 'a%iciou! tai%%e!! a0e! that are !o 0roud of their technica% achieve'ent! B the ani'a%! that we ca%% 'en B wi%% ui%d ar'ie! and wage war!3 the co''and wi%% a%wa#! e o %iged to 0%ace the !o%dier! etween the 0o!!i %e death in the front and the inevita %e one in the rear. 1nd #et ar'ie! are not ui%t on fear. +he *-ar>! ar'# fe%% to 0iece! not ecau!e of an# %ack of re0ri!a%!. In hi! atte'0t to !ave it # re!toring the death<0ena%t#3 Keren!k# on%# fini!hed it. H0on the a!he! of the great war3 the )o%!hevik! created a new ar'#. +he!e fact! de'and no e/0%anation for an# one who ha! even the !%ighte!t know%edge of the %anguage of hi!tor#. +he !tronge!t ce'ent in the new ar'# wa! the idea! of the Octo er revo%ution3 and the train !u00%ied the front with thi! ce'ent. In the 0rovince! of Ka%uga3 (orone-h3 and ,#a-an3 ten! of thou!and! of #oung 0ea!ant! had fai%ed to an!wer the fir!t recruiting !u''on! # the $oviet!. +he war wa! going on far fro' their 0rovince!3 the regi!tration of con!cri0t! wa! inefficient3 and con!eCuent%# the draft to !ervice wa! not taken !eriou!%#. +ho!e who fai%ed to 0re!ent the'!e%ve! were known a! de!erter!. It eca'e nece!!ar# to %aunch a !trong ca'0aign again!t the!e a !entee!. +he war co''i!!ariat of ,#a-an !ucceeded in gathering in !o'e fifteen thou!and of !uch de!erter!. 5hi%e 0a!!ing through ,#a-an3 I decided to take a %ook at the'. $o'e of our 'en tried to di!!uade 'e. 9$o'ething 'ight ha00en3? the# warned 'e. )ut ever#thing went off eautifu%%#. +he 'en were ca%%ed out of their arrack!. 9*o'rade<de!erter! B co'e to the 'eeting. *o'rade +rot!k# ha! co'e to !0eak to #ou.? +he# ran out e/cited3 oi!terou!3 a! curiou! a! !choo% o#!. I had i'agined the' 'uch wor!e3 and the# had i'agined 'e a! 'ore terri %e. In a few 'inute!3 I wa! !urrounded # a huge crowd of un rid%ed3 utter%# undi!ci0%ined3 ut not at a%% ho!ti%e 'en. +he 9co'rade<de!erter!? were %ooking at 'e with !uch curio!it# that it !ee'ed a! if their e#e! wou%d 0o0 out of their head!. I c%i' ed on a ta %e there in the #ard3 and !0oke to the' for a out an hour and a ha%f. It wa! a 'o!t re!0on!ive audience. I tried to rai!e the' in their own e#e!D conc%uding3 I a!ked the' to %ift their hand! in token of their %o#a%t# to the revo%ution. +he new idea! infected the' efore '# ver# e#e!. +he# were genuine%# enthu!ia!ticD the# fo%%owed 'e to the auto'o i%e3 devoured 'e with their e#e!3 not fearfu%%#3 a! efore3 ut ra0turou!%#3 and !houted at the to0! of their voice!. +he# wou%d hard%# %et 'e go. I %earned afterward3 with !o'e 0ride3 that one of the e!t wa#! to educate the' wa! to re'ind the'& 95hat did #ou 0ro'i!e *o'rade +rot!k#E? =ater on3 regi'ent! of ,#a-an 9de!erter!? fought we%% at the front!. I reca%% to 'ind the !econd grade of the $t. Pau% realschule in Ode!!a. +he fort# o#! there did not differ 'ateria%%# fro' an# other grou0 of fort# o#!. )ut when )urnande3 with the '#!teriou! cro!! on hi! forehead3 !u0erintendent "a#er3 !u0erintendent 5i%he%'3 in!0ector Ka'in!k#3 and director $chwanne ach !truck with a%% their force at the daring and 'ore critica%

grou0 of o#!3 the ta%e< earer! and enviou! du%%ard! 0ro'0t%# reared their head! and %ed the other! after the'. Ever# regi'ent3 ever# co'0an#3 co'0ri!e! 'en of different Cua%itie!. +he inte%%igent and !e%f< !acrificing are in the 'inorit#. 1t the o00o!ite 0o%e i! an in!ignificant nu' er of the co'0%ete%# de'ora%i-ed3 the !ku%ker!3 and the con!ciou!%# ho!ti%e. )etween the!e two 'inoritie! i! a %arge 'idd%e grou03 the undecided3 the vaci%%ating. 1nd when the etter e%e'ent! have een %o!t in fighting or !hoved a!ide3 and the !ku%ker! and ene'ie! gain the u00er hand3 the unit goe! to 0iece!. In !uch ca!e!3 the %arge 'idd%e grou0 do not know who' to fo%%ow and3 in the 'o'ent of danger3 !uccu' to 0anic. On Fe ruar# IT3 19193 I !aid to the #oung co''ander! gathered in the Aa%% of *o%u'n! in "o!cow& 94ive 'e three thou!and de!erter!3 ca%% the' a regi'entD I wi%% give the' a fighting co''ander3 a good co''i!!ar#3 fit officer! for atta%ion!3 co'0anie! and 0%atoon! B and the!e three thou!and de!erter! in the cour!e of four week! in our revo%utionar# countr# wi%% 0roduce a !0%endid regi'ent ... 98uring the %a!t few week!3? I added3 9we te!ted thi! again # e/0erience in the Narva and P!kov !ection! of the front3 where we !ucceeded in 'aking fine fighting unit! out of a few !cattered frag'ent!.? For two and a ha%f #ear!3 e/ce0t for co'0arative%# !hort interva%!3 I %ived in a rai%wa#<coach that had for'er%# een u!ed # one of the 'ini!ter! of co''unication. +he car wa! we%% fitted out fro' the 0oint of view of 'ini!teria% co'fort3 ut it wa! !carce%# ada0ted to work. +here I received tho!e who rought re0ort!3 he%d conference! with %oca% 'i%itar# and civi% authoritie!3 !tudied te%egra0hic de!0atche!3 dictated order! and artic%e!. Fro' it I 'ade %ong tri0! a%ong the front in auto'o i%e! with '# co<worker!. In '# !0are ti'e I dictated '# ook again!t Kaut!k#3 and variou! other work!. In tho!e #ear! I accu!to'ed '#!e%f3 !ee'ing%# forever3 to writing and thinking to the acco'0ani'ent of Pu%%'an whee%! and !0ring!. "# train wa! hurried%# organi-ed in "o!cow on the night of 1ugu!t ;3 191G. In the 'orning I %eft in it for $vi#a-h!k3 ound for the *-echo<$%ovak front. +he train wa! continua%%# eing reorgani-ed and i'0roved u0on3 and e/tended in it! function!. 1! ear%# a! 191G3 it had a%read# eco'e a f%#ing a00aratu! of ad'ini!tration. It! !ection! inc%uded a !ecretariat3 a 0rinting<0re!!3 a te%egra0h !tation3 a radio !tation3 an e%ectric<0ower !tation3 a %i rar#3 a garage3 and a ath. +he train wa! !o heav# that it needed two engine!D %ater it wa! divided into two train!. 5hen we had to !to0 for !o'e ti'e at !o'e one !ection of the front3 one of the engine! wou%d do !ervice a! courier3 and the other wa! a%wa#! under !tea'. +he front wa! !hifting con!tant%#3 and one cou%d take no chance!. I haven>t the hi!tor# of the train at hand. It i! uried in the archive! of the war de0art'ent. 1t one ti'e it wa! 0ain!taking%# worked over # '# #oung a!!i!tant!. +he diagra' of the train>! 'ove'ent! 0re0ared for the civi%<war e/hi ition u!ed to attract a great 'an# vi!itor!3 a! the new!0a0er! re0orted at the ti'e. =ater it wa! 0ut in the civi%<war 'u!eu'. +o<da# it 'u!t e hidden awa# with hundred! and thou!and! of other e/hi it!3 !uch a! 0%acard!3 0roc%a'ation!3 order!3 f%ag!3 0hoto gra0h!3 fi%'!3 ook! and !0eeche! ref%ecting the 'o!t i'0ortant 'o'ent! of the civi% war and connected3 in !o'e wa# or other3 with '# 0art in it.

8uring the #ear! of 19II to 19IT3 that i!3 efore re0re!!ion! were egun again!t the o00o!ition3 the 'i%itar# 0u %i!hing hou!e 'anaged to ring out five vo%u'e! of '# work! re%ating to the ar'# and the civi% war. +he hi!tor# of the train i! not dea%t with in the!e vo%u'e!. I can on%# 0artia%%# recon!truct the or it of the train>! 'ove'ent! fro' the 0%ace na'e! under the %eading artic%e! in the train new!0a0er3 (n !o"te B $a'ara3 *he%#a in!k3 (#atka3 Petrograd3 )a%a!hov3 $'o%en!k3 $a'ara again3 ,o!tov<on<8on3 Novocherka!k3 Kiev3 6hito'ir3 and !o on3 without end. I haven>t even the e/act figure! of the tota% di!tance covered # the train during the civi% war. One of the note! to '# 'i%itar# ook! 'ention! 3Q tri0!3 with a tota% run of over 1253222 ki%o'etre!. One of '# for'er fe%%ow trave%%er! write! that he reckon! fro' 'e'or# that in three #ear! we circ%ed the earth five and a ha%f ti'e! B he give!3 that i!3 a figure twice a! %arge a! the one 'entioned a ove. +hi! doe! not inc%ude thou!and! of ki%o'etre! done # auto'o i%e fro' the rai%wa# %ine into the heart of the front %ine!. $ince the train a%wa#! went to the 'o!t critica% 0oint!3 the diagra' of it! @ourne#ing! give! a fair%# e/act and co'0rehen!ive 0icture of the re%ative i'0ortance of the different front!. +he greate!t nu' er of tri0! wa! in 19I23 the %a!t #ear of the war. "# tri0! to the !outhern front were e!0ecia%%# freCuent3 ecau!e a%% during that 0eriod it wa! the 'o!t !tu orn3 dangerou! and e/tended of a%% the front!. 5hat wa! the train of the *hair'an of the ,evo%utionar# "i%itar# *ounci% !eeking on the civi%< war front!E +he genera% an!wer i! o viou!& it wa! !eeking victor#. )ut what did it give the front!E 5hat 'ethod! did it fo%%owE 5hat were the i''ediate o @ect! of it! end%e!! run! fro' one end of the countr# to the otherE +he# were not 'ere tri0! of in!0ection. No3 the work of the train wa! a%% ound u0 with the ui%ding<u0 of the ar'#3 with it! education3 it! ad'ini!tration3 and it! !u00%#. 5e were con!tructing an ar'# a%% over again3 and under fire at that. +hi! wa! true not on%# at $vi#a-h!k3 where the train recorded it! fir!t 'onth3 ut on a%% the front!. Out of and! of irregu%ar!3 of refugee! e!ca0ing fro' the 5hite!3 of 0ea!ant! 'o i%i-ed in the neigh oring di!trict!3 of detach'ent! of worker! !ent # the indu!tria% centre!3 of grou0! of co''uni!t! and trade!<unioni!t! B out of the!e we for'ed at the front co'0anie!3 atta%ion!3 new regi'ent!3 and !o'eti'e! even entire divi!ion!. Even after defeat! and retreat!3 the f%a #3 0anick# 'o wou%d e tran!for'ed in two or three week! into an efficient fighting force. 5hat wa! needed for thi!E 1t once 'uch and %itt%e. It needed good co''ander!3 a few do-en e/0erienced fighter!3 a do-en or !o of co''uni!t! read# to 'ake an# !acrifice3 oot! for the arefooted3 a ath<hou!e3 an energetic 0ro0aganda ca'0aign3 food3 underwear3 to acco and 'atche!. +he train took care of a%% thi!. 5e a%wa#! had in re!erve a few -ea%ou! co''uni!t! to fi%% in the reache!3 a hundred or !o of good fighting 'en3 a !'a%% !tock of oot!3 %eather @acket!3 'edica'ent!3 'achine<gun!3 fie%d<g%a!!e!3 'a0!3 watche! and a%% !ort! of gift!. Of cour!e3 the actua% 'ateria% re!ource! of the train were !%ight in co'0ari!on with the need! of the ar'#3 ut the# were con!tant%# eing re0%eni!hed. )ut B what i! even 'ore i'0ortant B ten! and hundred! of ti'e! the# 0%a#ed the 0art of the !hove%fu% of coa% that i! nece!!ar# at a 0articu%ar 'o'ent to kee0 the fire fro' going out. 1 te%egra0h !tation wa! in o0eration on the train. 5e 'ade our connection! with "o!cow # direct wire3 and '# de0ut# there3 $k%#an!k#3 took down '# de'and! for !u00%ie! urgent%# needed for the ar'#3 !o'eti'e! for a !ing%e divi!ion or even for a regi'ent. +he# were de%ivered with a de!0atch that wou%d have een a !o%ute%# i'0o!!i %e without '# intervention. Of cour!e3 thi! i! not e/act%# a 0ro0er wa# of doing thing! B a 0edant wou%d te%% u! that in the !u00%# !ervice3 a! in 'i%itar# de0art'ent! in genera%3 the 'o!t i'0ortant thing i! !#!te'. +hat i! a !o%ute%# true. I a'

'#!e%f rather inc%ined to err on the !ide of 0edantr#. )ut the 0oint i! that we did not want to 0eri!h efore we cou%d ui%d u0 a !'ooth%# running !#!te'. +hat i! wh#3 e!0ecia%%# in that ear%# 0eriod3 we had to !u !titute i'0rovi!ation! for a !#!te' B !o that %ater on we 'ight deve%o0 a !#!te' on their foundation!. On a%% of '# tri0!3 I wa! acco'0anied # the chief worker! in a%% the 0rinci0a% de0art'ent! of the ar'#3 e!0ecia%%# in tho!e connected with the !u00%# !ervice. 5e had inherited fro' the o%d ar'# !u00%# !ervice officer! who tried to work in the o%d wa# or in even wor!e fa!hion3 for the condition! eca'e infinite%# 'ore difficu%t. On the!e tri0!3 'an# of the o%d !0ecia%i!t! had to %earn new wa#!3 and new one! received their training in %ive e/0erience. 1fter 'aking the round of a divi!ion and a!certaining it! need! on the !0ot3 I wou%d ho%d a conference in the !taff<car or the dining<car3 inviting a! 'an# re0re!entative! a! 0o!!i %e3 inc%uding tho!e fro' the %ower co''anding force and fro' the rank!3 a! we%% a! fro' the %oca% 0art# organi-ation!3 the $oviet ad'ini!tration3 and the trade!<union!. In thi! wa# I got a 0icture of the !ituation that wa! neither fa%!e nor high%# co%ored. +he!e conference! a%wa#! had i''ediate 0ractica% re!u%t!. No 'atter how 0oor the organ! of the %oca% ad'ini!tration 'ight e3 the# a%wa#! 'anaged to !Cuee-e a %itt%e tighter and cut down !o'e of their own need! to contri ute !o'ething to the ar'#. +he 'o!t i'0ortant !acrifice! ca'e fro' in!titution!. 1 new grou0 of co''uni!t! wou%d e drawn fro' the in!titution! and 0ut i''ediate%# into an unre%ia %e regi'ent. $tuff wou%d e found for !hirt! and for wra00ing! for the feet3 %eather for new !o%e!3 and an e/tra hundredweight of fat. )ut of cour!e the %oca% !ource! were not enough. 1fter the conference3 I wou%d !end order! to "o!cow # direct wire3 e!ti'ating our need! according to the re!ource! of the centre3 and3 a! a re!u%t3 the divi!ion wou%d get what it de!0erate%# needed3 and that in good ti'e. +he co''ander! and co''i!!arie! of the front %earned fro' their e/0erience on the train to a00roach their own work B whether the# were co''anding3 educating3 !u00%#ing or ad'ini!tering @u!tice B not fro' a ove3 fro' the !tand 0oint of the 0innac%e of the !taff3 ut fro' e%ow3 fro' the !tand0oint of the co'0an# or 0%atoon3 of the #oung and ine/0erienced new recruit. 4radua%%#3 'ore or %e!! efficient 'achiner# for a centra%i-ed !u00%# !ervice for the front and the ar'ie! wa! e!ta %i!hed. )ut3 a%one3 it did not and cou%d not !ati!f# a%% need!. Even the 'o!t idea% organi-ation wi%% occa!iona%%# 'i!fire during a war3 and e!0ecia%%# during a war of 'anoeuvre! a!ed entire%# on 'ove'ent B !o'eti'e!3 a%a!J in Cuite unfore!een direction!. 1nd one 'u!t not forget that we fought without !u00%ie!. 1! ear%# a! 19193 there wa! nothing %eft in the centra% de0ot!. $hirt! were !ent to the front direct fro' the work!ho0. )ut the !u00%# of rif%e! and cartridge! wa! 'o!t difficu%t of a%%. +he +u%a 'unition factorie! worked for the need! of the current da#. Not a car%oad of cartridge! cou%d e !ent an#where without the !0ecia% authori-ation of the *o''ander<in<chief. +he !u00%# of 'unition! wa! a%wa#! a! taut a! a !tring. $o'eti'e! the !tring wou%d reak3 and then we %o!t 'en and territor#. 5ithout con!tant change! and i'0rovi!ation!3 the war wou%d have een utter%# i'0o!!i %e for u!. +he train initiated the!e3 and at the !a'e ti'e regu%ated the'. If we gave an i'0u%!e of initiative to the front and it! i''ediate rear3 we took care to direct it into the channe%! of the genera% !#!te'. I do not want to !a# that we a%wa#! !ucceeded in thi!. )ut3 a! the civi% war ha! de'on!trated3 we did achieve the 0rinci0a% thing B victor#.

+he tri0! to the !ection! of the front where often the trea!on of the co''anding officer! had created cata!tro0he! were e!0ecia%%# i'0ortant. On 1ugu!t I33 191G3 during the 'o!t critica% 0eriod efore Ka-an3 I received a coded te%egra' fro' =enin and $v#erd%ov& 9$vi#a-h!k +rot!k#. +rea!on on the $aratov front3 though di!covered in ti'e3 ha! #et 0roduced ver# dangerou! wavering. 5e con!ider #our going there at once a !o%ute%# nece!!ar#3 for #our a00earance at the front ha! an effect on !o%dier! and the entire ar'#. =et u! together arrange for #our vi!it! to other front!. ,e0%# !tating date of #our de0arture3 a%% # code3 1ugu!t II3 191G. =enin. $v#erd%ov.? I thought it Cuite i'0o!!i %e to %eave $vi#a-h!k3 a! the de0arture of the train wou%d have !haken the Ka-an front3 which wa! having a difficu%t enough ti'e a! it wa!. Ka-an wa! in a%% re!0ect! 'ore i'0ortant than $aratov. =enin and $v#erd%ov the'!e%ve! !oon agreed with 'e on thi!. I went to $aratov on%# after the reca0ture of Ka-an. )ut te%egra'! %ike thi! reached the train at a%% !tage! of it! trave%!. Kiev and (#atka3 $i eria and the *ri'ea wou%d co'0%ain of their difficu%t 0o!ition! and wou%d de'and3 in turn or at the !a'e ti'e3 that the train ha!ten to their re!cue. +he war unro%%ed on the 0eri0her# of the countr#3 often in the 'o!t re'ote 0art! of a front that !tretched for eight thou!and ki%o'etre!. ,egi'ent! and divi!ion! were cut off fro' the re!t of the wor%d for 'onth! at a ti'e. (er# often the# had not enough te%e0hone eCui0'ent even for their own interco''unication3 and wou%d then !uccu' to ho0e%e!!ne!!. +he train3 for the'3 wa! a 'e!!enger fro' other wor%d!. 5e a%wa#! had a !tock of te%e0hone a00aratu! and wire!. 1 wire%e!! aeria% had een arranged over a 0articu%ar car in our train3 !o that we cou%d receive radio 'e!!age! fro' the Eiffe% +ower3 fro' Nauen3 and fro' other !tation!3 thirteen in a%%3 with "o!cow3 of cour!e3 fore'o!t. +he train wa! a%wa#! infor'ed of what wa! going on in the re!t of the wor%d. +he 'ore i'0ortant te%egra0hic re0ort! were 0u %i!hed in the train new! 0a0er3 and given 0a!!ing co''ent3 in artic%e!3 %eaf%et! and order!. Ka00>! raid3 con!0iracie! at ho'e3 the Eng%i!h e%ection!3 the 0rogre!! of grain co%%ection!3 and feat! of the Ita%ian Fa!ci!'o were inter0reted whi%e the foot0rint! of event! were !ti%% war'3 and were %inked u0 with the fate! of the 1!trakhan or 1rchange% front!. +he!e artic%e! were !i'u%taneou!%# tran!'itted to "o!cow # direct wire3 and radioed fro' there to the 0re!! of the entire countr#. +he arriva% of the train 0ut the 'o!t i!o%ated unit in touch with the who%e ar'#3 and rought it into the %ife not on%# of the countr#3 ut of the entire wor%d. 1%ar'i!t ru'or! and dou t! were di!0e%%ed3 and the !0irit of the 'en grew fir'. +hi! change of 'ora%e wou%d %a!t for !evera% week!3 !o'eti'e! unti% the ne/t vi!it of the train. In the interva%!3 'e' er! of the ,evo%utionar# "i%itar# *ounci% of the front or the ar'# wou%d 'ake tri0! !i'i%ar in character3 ut on a !'a%%er !ca%e. 1%% '# work in the train3 %iterar# and otherwi!e3 wou%d have een i'0o!!i %e without '# a!!i!ting !tenogra0her!3 4%a-'an and $#er'uk!3 and the #ounger a!!i!tant3 Necha#ev. +he# worked a%% da# and a%% night in the 'oving train3 which3 di!regarding a%% ru%e! of !afet# in the fever of war3 wou%d ru!h over !haken tie! at a !0eed of !event# or 'ore ki%o'etre! an hour3 !o that the 'a0 that hung fro' the cei%ing of the car wou%d rock %ike a !wing. I wou%d watch in wondering gratitude the 'ove'ent! of the hand that3 de!0ite the ince!!ant @erking and !haking3 cou%d in!cri e the fine%# !ha0ed !#' o%! !o c%ear%#. 5hen I wa! handed the t#0ed !cri0t ha%f an hour %ater3 no correction! were nece!!ar#. +hi! wa! not ordinar# workD it took on a character of

heroic !acrifice. 1fterward3 4%a-'an and $#er'uk! 0aid dear%# for their !acrifice! in the !ervice of the revo%ution. 4%a-'an wa! driven to !uicide # the $ta%inite!3 and $#er'uk! ha! een !hut awa# in the wi%d! of $i eria. Part of the train wa! a huge garage ho%ding !evera% auto'o i%e! and a ga!o%ine tank. +hi! 'ade it 0o!!i %e for u! to trave% awa# fro' the rai%wa# %ine for !evera% hundred (ersts. 1 !Cuad of 0icked !har0!hooter! and 'achine<gunner!3 a'ounting to fro' twent# to thirt# 'en3 occu0ied the truck! and %ight car!. 1 cou0%e of hand 'achine<gun! had a%!o een 0%aced in '# car. 1 war of 'ove'ent i! fu%% of !ur0ri!e!. On the !te00e!3 we a%wa#! ran the ri!k of running into !o'e *o!!ack and. 1uto'o i%e! with 'achine<gun! in!ured one again!t thi!3 at %ea!t when the !te00e had not een tran!for'ed into a !ea of 'ud. Once during the autu'n of 19193 in the 0rovince of (orone-h3 we cou%d 'ove at a !0eed of on%# three ki%o'etre! an hour. +he auto'o i%e! !ank dee0 into the %ack3 rain<!oaked earth. +hirt# 'en had to kee0 @u'0ing off their car! to 0u!h the' a%ong. 1nd once3 when we were fording a river3 we got !tuck in 'id!trea'. In a rage3 I %a'ed ever#thing on the %ow< ui%t 'achine which '# e/ce%%ent chauffeur3 an E!thonian na'ed Puvi3 con!idered the ver# e!t 'achine in the wor%d. Ae turned round to 'e3 and rai!ing hi! hand to hi! ca03 !aid in roken ,u!!ian& 9I eg to !tate that the engineer! never fore!aw that we !hou%d have to !ai% on water.? In !0ite of the difficu%t# of the 'o'ent3 I fe%t %ike e' racing hi' for the co%d a0tne!! of hi! iron#. +he train wa! not on%# a 'i%itar#<ad'ini!trative and 0o%itica% in!titution3 ut a fighting in!titution a! we%%. In 'an# of it! feature! it wa! 'ore %ike an ar'ored train than a !taff head Cuarter! on whee%!. In fact3 it wa! ar'ored3 or at %ea!t it! engine! and 'achine<gun car! were. 1%% the crew cou%d hand%e ar'!. +he# a%% wore %eather unifor'!3 which a%wa#! 'ake 'en %ook heavi%# i'0o!ing. On the %eft ar'3 @u!t e%ow the !hou%der3 each wore a %arge 'eta% adge3 carefu%%# ca!t at the 'int3 which had acCuired great 0o0u%arit# in the ar'#. +he car! were connected # te%e0hone and # a !#!te' of !igna%!. +o kee0 the 'en on the a%ert whi%e we were trave%%ing3 there were freCuent a%ar'!3 oth # da# and # night. 1r'ed detach'ent! wou%d e 0ut off the train a! 9%anding 0artie!.? +he a00earance of a %eather<coated detach'ent in a dangerou! 0%ace invaria %# had an overwhe%'ing effect. 5hen the# were aware of the 0re!ence of the train @u!t a few ki%o'etre! ehind the firing<%ine3 even the 'o!t nervou! unit!3 their co''anding officer! e!0ecia%%#3 wou%d !u''on u0 a%% their !trength. In the un!ta %e 0oi!e of a !ca%e3 on%# a !'a%% weight i! enough to decide. +he rF%e of that weight wa! 0%a#ed # the train and it! detach'ent! a great 'an# ti'e! during it! two and a ha%f #ear! of trave%. 5hen we took the returned 9%anding 0art#? a oard3 we u!ua%%# found !o'e one 'i!!ing. 1%together3 the train %o!t a out fifteen 'en in ki%%ed and wounded3 not counting the one! who @oined the unit! in the fie%d and di!a00eared fro' our view. For in!tance3 a !Cuad wa! 'ade u0 fro' our train crew for the 'ode% ar'ored train na'ed for =eninD another @oined the troo0! in the fie%d efore Petrograd. For it! !hare in the att%e! again!t Yudenich3 the train a! a who%e wa! decorated with the order of the ,ed F%ag.

$o'eti'e! the train wa! cut off and !he%%ed or o' ed fro' the air. No wonder it wa! !urrounded # a %egend woven of victorie! oth rea% and i'agined. +i'e and again the co''ander of a divi!ion3 of a rigade3 or even of a regi'ent wou%d a!k 'e to !ta# at hi! !taff headCuarter! for an e/tra ha%f<hour3 @u!t whi%ing awa# the ti'e3 or to drive with hi' # auto'o i%e or on hor!e ack to !o'e di!tant !ector3 or even to !end a few 'en fro' the train there with !u00%ie! and gift!3 !o that the new! of the train>! arriva% 'ight e !0read far and wide. 9+hi! wi%% e a! good a! a divi!ion in re!erve3? co''ander! wou%d !a#. +he new! of the arriva% of the train wou%d reach the ene'# %ine! a! we%%. +here 0eo0%e i'agined a '#!teriou! train infinite%# 'ore awfu% than it rea%%# wa!. )ut that on%# !erved to increa!e it! inf%uence on 'ora%e. +he train earned the hatred of it! ene'ie! and wa! 0roud of it. "ore than once3 the $ocia%i!t< ,evo%utioni!t! 'ade 0%an! to wreck it. 1t the tria% of the $ocia%i!t<,evo%utioni!t!3 the !tor# wa! to%d in detai% # $e'#onov3 who organi-ed the a!!a!!ination of (o%odar!k# and the atte'0t on =enin>! %ife3 and who a%!o took 0art in the 0re0aration! to wreck the train. 1! a 'atter of fact3 !uch an enter0ri!e 0re!ented no great difficu%t#3 e/ce0t that # that ti'e the $ocia%i!t< ,evo%utioni!t!3 weakened 0o%itica%%#3 had %o!t faith in the'!e%ve! and no %onger had 'uch inf%uence with the #ounger generation. On one of our tri0! !outh3 the train wa! wrecked at the !tation of 4orki. In the 'idd%e of the night3 I wa! !udden%# @erked out of ed3 and wa! !ei-ed # that cree0# fee%ing one ha! during an earthCuake3 of the ground !%i00ing awa# under one9! feet3 with no fir' !u00ort an#where. $ti%% ha%f<a!%ee03 I c%utched the !ide! of the ed. +he fa'i%iar ru' %ing had !to00ed at onceD the car had turned on it! edge3 and !tood !tock<!ti%%. In the !i%ence of the night3 a !ing%e3 0itifu% voice wa! the on%# thing to e heard. +he heav# car<door! were !o ent that the# cou%d not even e o0ened3 and I cou%d not get out. No one a00eared3 which a%ar'ed 'e. 5a! it the ene'#E 5ith a revo%ver in '# hand3 I @u'0ed out of the window and ran into a 'an with a %antern. It wa! the co''ander of the train3 una %e to get to 'e. +he car wa! !tanding on a !%o0e3 with three whee%! uried dee0 in the e' ank'ent3 and the other three ri!ing high a ove the rai%!. +he rear and front of the car had cru'0%ed. the front grating had 0inned down a !entr#3 and it wa! hi! 0itifu% %itt%e voice3 %ike the cr#ing of a chi%d3 that I had heard in the darkne!!. It wa! no ea!# 'atter to re%ea!e hi' fro' the grating covering hi' !o tight%#. +o ever# one>! !ur0ri!e3 he got off with nothing ut rui!e! and a !care. In a%%3 eight car! were de!tro#ed. +he re!taurant car3 which wa! u!ed a! the c%u for the train3 wa! a hea0 of 0o%i!hed !0%inter!. 1 nu' er of 'en had een reading or 0%a#ing che!! whi%e the# waited for their turn to go on dut#3 ut the# had a%% %eft the c%u at 'idnight3 ten 'inute! efore the accident. +he truck! with ook!3 eCui0 'ent and gift! for the front were a%% ad%# da'aged a! we%%. None of the 'en wa! !eriou!%# hurt. +he accident wa! due to fau%t# !witching3 whether ecau!e of neg%igence or de%i erate action we never found out. Fortunate%# for u!3 the train wa! 0a!!ing a !tation at the ti'e3 running at a !0eed of on%# 32 ki%o'etre!. +he train crew 0erfor'ed 'an# other ta!k! e!ide! their !0ecia% dutie!. +he# %ent their he%0 in ti'e of fa'ine3 during e0ide'ic! of di!ea!e3 in 0ro0aganda ca'0aign!3 and at internationa% congre!!e!. +he train wa! the honorar# head of a rura% di!trict and of !evera% chi%dren>! ho'e!. It! co''uni!t %oca% 0u %i!hed it! own 0a0er3 &n 7"ard. "an# an incident of adventure and

att%e i! recorded in it! 0age!3 ut unfortunate%# thi!3 %ike 'an# other record!3 i! not in '# 0re!ent trave%%ing archive!. 5hen I wa! %eaving to 0re0are an offen!ive again!t 5range%3 who had intrenched hi'!e%f in the *ri'ea3 I wrote in the train new!0a0er (n !o"te3 on Octo er I;3 19I2& 9Our train i! again ound for the front. 9+he fighting 'en of our train were efore the wa%%! of Ka-an in the grave week! of 191G3 when we were fighting for the contro% of the (o%ga. +hat fight ended %ong ago. +o<da# the $oviet 0ower i! a00roaching the Pacific Ocean. 9+he fighting 'en of our train fought ga%%ant%# efore the wa%%! of Petrograd. Petrograd ha! een !aved and ha! !ince een vi!ited # 'an# re0re!entative! of the wor%d 0ro%etariat. 9Our train vi!ited the we!tern front 'ore than once. +o da#3 a 0re%i'inar# 0eace ha! een !igned with Po%and. 9+he fighting 'en of our train were on the !te00e! of the 8on when Kra!nov and3 %ater3 8enikin advanced again!t $oviet ,u!!ia fro' the !outh. +he da#! of Kra!nov and 8enikin are %ong !ince 0a!t. 9+here now i! %eft on%# the *ri'ea3 which the French govern'ent ha! 'ade it! fortre!!. +he 5hite 4uard garri!on of thi! French fortre!! i! under the co''and of a hired 4er'an ,u!!ian genera%3 )aron 5range%. 9+he friend%# fa'i%# of our train i! !tarting on a new ca'0aign. =et thi! ca'0aign e the %a!t.? +he *ri'ean ca'0aign wa! actua%%# the %a!t ca'0aign of the civi% war. 1 few 'onth! %ater3 the train wa! di! anded. Fro' the!e 0age!3 I !end fraterna% greeting! to a%% '# for'er co'rade!<in< ar'!.

'otes
1. +he train of the *hair'an of the ,evo%utionar# "i%itar# *ounci%. B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <<<V

T3( D(F(')( &F P(T!&7!AD

+here were !i/teen ar'ie! fighting on the revo%utionar# front! of the $oviet ,e0u %ic. +he 4reat French ,evo%ution had a%'o!t a! 'an# B fourteen. 1nd ever# one of the !i/teen $oviet ar'ie! had it! own rief ut !triking hi!tor#. +he 'ere 'ention of the nu' er of an# one ar'# i! enough to evoke !core! of re'arka %e !torie!. Each of the ar'ie! had it! own c%ear<cut3 though ever<changing3 0h#!iogno'#. +he $eventh ar'# he%d the we!tern a00roache! to Petrograd. +he 0ro%onged !tand!ti%% had i'0aired it! 'ora%e. It! watchfu%ne!! eca'e du%%edD it! e!t worker!3 even who%e detach'ent!3 were taken awa# and !ent to the 'ore active !ector! of the front. For a revo%utionar# ar'#3 which need! con!tant charge! of enthu!ia!'3 'arking ti'e a%'o!t a%wa#! end! in 'i!ha03 and often in di!a!ter. +he $eventh ar'# wa! no e/ce0tion. In 7une3 19193 an i'0ortant fort ca%%ed 9Kra!na#a 4orka? (+he ,ed Ai%%)3 in the 4u%f of Fin%and3 wa! ca0tured # a detach'ent of 5hite!. 1 few da#! %ater it wa! reca0tured # a force of ,ed 'arine!. +hen it wa! di!covered that the chief of the !taff of the $eventh ar'#3 *o%one% =undkvi!t3 wa! tran!'itting a%% infor'ation to the 5hite!. +here were other con!0irator! working hand<in<g%ove with hi'. +hi! !hook the ar'# to it! ver# core. In 7u%#3 4enera% Yudenich wa! 'ade *o''ander<in<chief of the Northwe!tern ar'# of the 5hite!3 and wa! recogni-ed # Ko%chak a! hi! re0re!entative. In 1ugu!t3 with the aid of Eng%and and E!thonia3 the ,u!!ian 9northwe!tern govern'ent? wa! e!ta %i!hed. +he Eng%i!h nav# in the 4u%f of Fin%and 0ro'i!ed Yudenich it! !u00ort. Yudenich>! offen!ive wa! ti'ed for a 'o'ent when we were de!0erate%# 0re!!ed on the other front!. 8enikin had occu0ied Ore% and wa! threatening +u%a3 the 'unition!<'anufacturing centre. Fro' there it wa! on%# a !hort di!tance to "o!cow. +he $outh de'anded a%% our attention. 7u!t then3 the fir!t !trong %ow fro' the we!t threw the $eventh ar'# co'0%ete%# off it! a%ance3 and it egan to ro%% ack with hard%# a !how of re!i!tance3 a andoning it! ar'! and !u00%ie! a! it went. +he Petrograd %eader!3 6inoviev in 0articu%ar3 ke0t te%%ing =enin a out the ene'#>! e/ce%%ent eCui0'ent B the auto'atic rif%e!3 tank!3 air0%ane!3 the )riti!h 'onitor! on their f%ank!3 and !o forth. =enin conc%uded that we cou%d fight Yudenich>! ar'# of officer!3 ar'ed with the %ate!t technica% device!3 on%# at the co!t of denuding and weakening our other front!3 the !outhern one 'o!t of a%%. )ut thi! wa! i'0o!!i %e3 and !o3 in hi! o0inion3 there wa! on%# one thing to do& a andon Petrograd and !horten the front %ine. 1fter he decided that !uch an a'0utation wa! e!!entia%3 =enin egan to tr# to win over other %eader!. 5hen I arrived in "o!cow3 I fir'%# o00o!ed thi! 0%an. Yudenich and hi! 'a!ter! wou%d not have een !ati!fied with Petrograd a%oneD the# wanted to 'eet 8enikin in "o!cow. In Petrograd3 Yudenich wou%d have found enor'ou! indu!tria% re!ource! and 'an0owerD 'oreover there wou%d e no !eriou! o !tac%e! in hi! wa# fro' Petrograd to "o!cow. $o I decided that we had to !ave Petrograd at an# co!t3 and found !u00ort fir!t of a%% a'ong the citi-en! of Petrograd. Kre!tin!k#3 at that ti'e a 'e' er of the Po%it ureau3 !ided with 'e. I e%ieve that $ta%in a%!o !u00orted '# !tand. $evera% ti'e! during tho!e twent#<four hour! I attacked =enin3 unti% he !aid at %a!t& 9(er# we%%3 %et u! tr#J? On Octo er i! the Po%it ureau ado0ted '# re!o%ution on the !ituation at the front!& 9,ecogni-ing the e/i!tence of an acute 'i%itar# danger3 we 'u!t take !te0! rea%%# to tran!for' $oviet ,u!!ia

into a 'i%itar# ca'0. 5ith the he%0 of the 0art# and the trade!<union!3 a regi!tration 'u!t e carried out %i!ting ever# 'e' er of the 0art#3 of the $oviet in!titution! and the trade!<union!3 with a view to u!ing the' for 'i%itar# !ervice.? +hi! wa! fo%%owed # a %i!t of 0ractica% 'ea!ure!. ,egarding Petrograd3 the re!o%ution !aid& 9Not to e evacuated.? +he !a'e da# I !u 'itted the draft of a decree to the *ounci% of 8efen!e& 9+o defend Petrograd to the %a!t ounce of %ood3 to refu!e to #ie%d a foot3 and to carr# the !trugg%e into the !treet! of the cit#.? I had no dou t that even if the 5hite ar'# of I53222 fighting 'en cou%d 'anage to force it! wa# into the cit# of a 'i%%ion inha itant!3 it wou%d e doo'ed to e/tinction if it 'et !eriou! and we%%<organi-ed re!i!tance in the !treet!. 1t the !a'e ti'e3 with an e#e e!0ecia%%# on the 0o!!i %e intervention of E!thonia and Fin%and3 I thought it nece!!ar# to 0%an for the withdrawa% of the ar'# and worker! toward the !outhea!t3 !ince that wa! the on%# wa# to !ave the f%ower of the Petrograd 0ro%etariat fro' who%e!a%e e/ter'ination. On the 1Qth I %eft for Petrograd. +he ne/t da# =enin wrote 'e& 9Octo er 1;3 1919. *o'rade +rot!k#& =a!t night tran!'itted in code ... the deci!ion of the *ounci% of 8efen!e. 1! #ou wi%% !ee3 #our 0%an ha! een acce0ted. )ut the withdrawa% of the Petrograd worker! to the !outh i!3 of cour!e3 not re@ected (I a' to%d that #ou e/0ounded it to Kra!!in and ,#kov)3 ut to di!cu!! it efore the need ari!e! wou%d di!tract attention fro' the fight<to<the<fini!h. 1n atte'0t to outf%ank and cut off Petrograd wi%%3 of cour!e3 ring corre!0onding change! which #ou wi%% carr# out on the !0ot ... I enc%o!e a 0roc%a'ation which I wrote at the !ugge!tion of the *ounci% of 8efen!e. I did it ha!ti%#3 and it did not turn out we%%. You had etter 0ut '# na'e under #our own te/t. 4reeting!3 =ENIN? +hi! %etter3 it !ee'! to 'e3 definite%# !how! how the 'o!t vio%ent di!agree'ent! etween =enin and 'e3 inevita %e in a work of !uch !co0e3 were overco'e in 0ractice3 and %eft no trace on our 0er!ona% re%ation! or on our @oint work. It occur! to 'e that if it had een 'e again!t =enin3 in!tead of =enin again!t 'e3 who in Octo er3 19193 defended the idea of !urrendering Petrograd3 there wou%d have een 0%ent# of %iterature to<da#3 in ever# known %anguage3 e/0o!ing thi! de!tructive 'anife!tation of 9+rot!k#i!'.? 8uring the cour!e of the #ear 191G3 the 1%%ie! were forcing a civi% war on u!3 !u00o!ed%# in the intere!t! of victor# over the Kai!er. )ut now it wa! 1919. 4er'an# had %ong !ince een defeated. Yet the 1%%ie! continued to !0end hundred! of 'i%%ion! to !0read death3 fa'ine3 and di!ea!e in the countr# of the revo%ution. Yudenich wa! one of the condottieri in the 0a# of Eng%and and France. Ai! rear wa! 0ro00ed u0 # E!thonia3 hi! %eft f%ank wa! covered # Fin%and. +he 1%%ie! de'anded that oth the!e countrie!3 freed # the revo%ution3 !hou%d he%0 to utcher it. +here were end%e!! negotiation! in Ae%!ingfor!3 a! there were in ,eva%D the !ca%e! ti00ed thi! wa# and that. 5e watched in a%ar' the two %itt%e !tate! that con!tituted a ho!ti%e 0incer! a out the head of Petrograd. On the fir!t of $e0te' er3 I wrote in the Pra da3 # wa# of warning& 91'ong the divi!ion! we are now ringing over to the Petrograd front3 the 0art of the )a!hkir hor!e'en wi%% not e %ea!t

i'0ortant3 and if the ourgeoi! Finn! atte'0t to attack Petrograd3 the ,ed )a!hkir! wi%% advance with the att%e<cr#& >+o Ae%!ingfor! %>? +he )a!hkir cava%r# divi!ion had een for'ed on%# a !hort ti'e efore. Fro' the out!et3 I had 0%anned to tran!fer it to Petrograd for a few 'onth!3 !o that the 'en fro' the !te00e! 'ight have a chance to %ive for a ti'e a'id the cu%tura% !urrounding! of the cit#3 co'e into c%o!er contact with the worker!3 and vi!it c%u !3 'eeting! and theatre!. +o thi!3 a new and !ti%% 'ore urgent con!ideration wa! now added B that of frightening the Finni!h bourgeoisie with the !0ectre of a )a!hkir inva!ion. )ut our warning! carried %e!! weight than the !wift !ucce!!e! of Yudenich. Ae took =uga on the thirteenth of Octo er3 Kra!no#e $#e%o and 4atchina on the !i/teenth3 directing hi! %ow at Petrograd in !uch a wa# that he cou%d cut off the rai%wa# %ine connecting Petrograd and "o!cow. On the tenth da# of hi! offen!ive3 Yudenich advanced a! far a! +!ar!ko#e $#e%o. Ai! !cout! on hor!e ack cou%d !ee the gi%ded do'e of $t. I!aac>! cathedra% fro' the hi%%. +he Finni!h radio3 fore!ta%%ing the event3 re0orted the occu0ation of Petrograd # Yudenich>! troo0!. +he a' a!!ador! of the 1%%ie! in Ae%!ingfor! re0orted thi! officia%%# to their govern'ent!. 1%% through Euro0e and the re!t of the wor%d the new! !0read that the ,ed Petrograd had fa%%en. 1 $wedi!h new!0a0er wrote of 9a wor%d<week of Petrograd fever.? +he ru%ing circ%e! in Fin%and were e!0ecia%%# e/cited. +he govern'ent3 a! we%% a! the 'i%itar#3 wa! advocating intervention. No one wanted to %et the Cuarr# !%i0 out of hi! hand!. 1! wa! to e e/0ected3 the Finni!h $ocia% 8e'ocrac# 0ro'i!ed to o !erve 9neutra%it#.? 1 5hite hi!torian write!& 9+he Cue!tion of intervention wa! now di!cu!!ed on%# fro' the financia% !ide.? 1%% that re'ained wa! to ratif# the guarantee of fift# 'i%%ion franc! B that wa! the 0rice of the %ood of Petrograd in the 1%%ied 'arket!. +he Cue!tion of E!thonia wa! no %e!! acute. I wrote to =enin on Octo er 1;& 9If we !ave Petrograd3 a! I ho0e3 we !ha%% e in a 0o!ition to 'ake an end of Yudenich. +he difficu%t# wi%% e hi! right of a!#%u' in E!thonia. E!thonia 'u!t c%o!e it! frontier! to hi'. In ca!e he doe! enter3 we 'u!t retain the right of invading E!thonia on Yudenich>! hee%!.? +hi! 0ro0o!a% wa! acce0ted after our ar'# had egun to drive Yudenich3 ut it took !o'e ti'e to !tart the drive. In Petrograd I found the %eader! in a !tate of ut'o!t de'ora%i-ation. Ever#thing wa! !%i00ing. +he troo0! were ro%%ing ack and reaking u0 into !e0arate unit!. +he co''anding officer! %ooked to the co''uni!t!3 the co''uni!t! to 6inoviev3 and 6inoviev wa! the ver# centre of utter confu!ion. $v#erd%ov !aid to 'e& 96inoviev i! 0anic it!e%f.? 1nd $v#erd%ov knew 'en. In favora %e 0eriod!3 when3 in =enin>! 0hra!e3 9there wa! nothing to fear3? 6inoviev c%i' ed ea!i%# to the !eventh heaven. )ut when thing! took a ad turn3 he u!ua%%# !tretched hi'!e%f out on a !ofa B %itera%%#3 not 'eta0horica%%# B and !ighed. $ince 191;3 I had had 'an# o00ortunitie! to convince '#!e%f that 6inoviev had no inter'ediate 'ood!D it wa! either the !eventh heaven or the !ofa. +hi! ti'e I found hi' on the !ofa. 1nd #et there were rave 'en a out hi' B =a!hevich3 for e/a'0%e B ut even their hand! hung %i'0. Ever#one fe%t it3 and it had it! effect ever#where. I ordered an auto'o i%e fro' a 'i%itar# garage # te%e0hone fro' the $'o%n#. It did not co'e on ti'e3 and in the voice of the garage'an in charge I !en!ed that a0ath#3 ho0e%e!!ne!!3 and !u 'i!!ion to fate which had infected even the %ower rank! of the

ad'ini!trative !taff. E/ce0tiona% 'ea!ure! were nece!!ar#D the ene'# wa! at the ver# gate!. 1! u!ua% in !uch !trait!3 I turned to '# trainforce 'en who cou%d e de0ended on under an# circu'!tance!. +he# checked u03 0ut on 0re!!ure3 e!ta %i!hed connection!3 re'oved tho!e who were unfit3 and fi%%ed in the ga0!. Fro' the officia% a00aratu!3 which had eco'e co'0%ete%# de'ora%i-ed3 I de!cended two or three f%oor! to the di!trict organi-ation! of the 0art#3 the 'i%%!3 the factorie! and the arrack!. Ever#one e/0ected an ear%# !urrender of the cit# to the 5hite!3 and !o 0eo0%e were afraid of eco'ing too con!0icuou!. )ut a! !oon a! the 'a!!e! egan to fee% that Petrograd wa! not to e !urrendered3 and3 if nece!!ar#3 wou%d e defended fro' within3 in the !treet! and !Cuare! the !0irit changed at once. +he 'ore courageou! and !e%f<!acrificing %ifted u0 their head!. 8etach'ent! of 'en and wo'en3 with trenching<too%! on their !hou%der!3 fi%ed out of the 'i%%! and factorie!. +he worker! of Petrograd %ooked ad%# thenD their face! were gra# fro' under nouri!h'entD their c%othe! were in tatter!D their !hoe!3 !o'e ti'e! not even 'ate!3 were ga0ing with ho%e!. 95e wi%% not give u0 Petrograd3 co'rade!J? 9No.? +he e#e! of the wo'en urned with e!0ecia% fervor. "other!3 wive!3 daughter!3 were %oath to a andon their ding# ut war' ne!t!. 9No3 we won>t give it u03? the high<0itched voice! of the wo'en cried in an!wer3 and the# gra!0ed their !0ade! %ike rif%e!. Not a few of the' actua%%# ar'ed the'!e%ve! with rif%e! or took their 0%ace! at the 'achine<gun!. +he who%e cit# wa! divided into !ection!3 contro%%ed # !taff! of worker!. +he 'ore i'0ortant 0oint! were !urrounded # ar ed wire. 1 nu' er of 0o!ition! were cho!en for arti%%er#3 with a firing<range 'arked off in advance. 1 out !i/t# gun! were 0%aced ehind cover on the o0en !Cuare! and at the 'ore i'0ortant !treet<cro!!ing!. *ana%!3 garden!3 wa%%!3 fence! and hou!e! were fortified. +renche! were dug in the !u ur ! and a%ong the Neva. +he who%e !outhern 0art of the cit# wa! tran!for'ed into a fortre!!. )arricade! were rai!ed on 'an# of the !treet! and !Cuare!. 1 new !0irit wa! reathing fro' the worker!> di!trict! to the arrack!3 the rear unit!3 and even to the ar'# in the fie%d. Yudenich wa! on%# fro' ten to fifteen (ersts awa# fro' Petrograd3 on the !a'e Pu%kovo height! where I had gone two #ear! efore3 when the revo%ution which had @u!t a!!u'ed 0ower wa! fighting for it! %ife again!t the troo0! of Keren!k# and Kra!nov. Once 'ore the fate of Petrograd wa! hanging # a thread3 and we had to reak the inertia of retreat3 in!tant%# and at an# co!t. On Octo er 1G3 I i!!ued an order 9not to !end in fa%!e re0ort! of hard fight! when the actua% truth wa! itter 0anic. =ie! wi%% e 0uni!hed a! trea!on. "i%itar# work ad'it! error!3 ut not %ie!3 dece0tion and !e%f<dece0tion.? 1! u!ua%3 in 'o'ent! of !tre!!3 I thought it nece!!ar# to are the gri' truth efore the ar'# and the countr#3 and I 'ade 0u %ic the !en!e%e!! retreat that took 0%ace that ver# da#. 91 co'0an# of the rif%e regi'ent took a%ar' ecau!e of an ene'# threat again!t it! f%ank. +he regi'enta% co''ander gave the order to withdraw. +he regi'ent ran at a trot for eight or ten (ersts and reached 1%e/androvka. 1 check<u0 di!c%o!ed that the troo0! on the f%ank e%onged to one of our own unit! ... )ut the !ta'0eding regi'ent wa! not !o ad3 after a%%. 5ith it! !e%f<confidence re!tored3 it turned ack at once3 and at a ra0id 0ace or a trot3 !weating

de!0ite the co%d3 covered eight (ersts in an hour3 di!%odged the ene'#3 who were few in nu' er3 and recovered it! o%d 0o!ition with on%# a !'a%% %o!!.? In thi! rief e0i!ode3 for the one and on%# ti'e during the entire war I had to 0%a# the ro%e of a regi'enta% co''ander. 5hen the retreating %ine! ca'e u0 again!t the divi!ion head Cuarter! at 1%e/androvka3 I 'ounted the fir!t hor!e I cou%d %a# '# hand! on and turned the %ine! ack. For the fir!t few 'inute!3 there wa! nothing ut confu!ion. Not a%% of the' under!tood what wa! ha00ening3 and !o'e of the' continued to retreat. )ut I cha!ed one !o%dier after another3 on hor!e ack3 and 'ade the' a%% turn ack. On%# then did I notice that '# order%# Ko-%ov3 a "u!covite 0ea!ant3 and an o%d !o%dier hi'!e%f3 wa! racing at '# hee%!. Ae wa! e!ide hi'!e%f with e/cite'ent. )randi!hing a revo%ver3 he ran wi%d%# a%ong the %ine3 re0eating '# a00ea%! and #e%%ing for a%% he wa! worth& 9*ourage3 o#!3 *o'rade +rot!k# i! %eading #ou.? +he 'en were now advancing at the 0ace at which the# had een retreating efore. Not one of the' re'ained ehind. 1fter two (ersts3 the u%%et! egan their !weeti!h3 nau!eating whi!t%ing3 and the fir!t wounded egan to dro0. +he regi'enta% co''ander changed e#ond recognition. Ae a00eared at the 'o!t dangerou! 0oint!3 and efore the regi'ent had recovered the 0o!ition! it had 0reviou!%# a andoned he wa! wounded in oth %eg!. I returned to the !taff headCuarter! on a truck. On the wa# we 0icked u0 the wounded. +he i'0etu! had een given3 and with '# who%e eing I fe%t that we wou%d !ave Petrograd. 1t thi! 0oint3 I !hou%d %ike to dwe%% for a 'o'ent on a Cue!tion the reader 'u!t a%read# have a!ked hi'!e%f !evera% ti'e!& 5hen a 'an i! in charge of a who%e ar'#3 ha! he the right to e/0o!e hi'!e%f to the danger of actua% fightingE "# an!wer i! that there are no a !o%ute ru%e! of conduct3 either in 0eace or in war. Ever#thing de0end! on circu'!tance!. Officer! who acco'0anied 'e in '# tri0! a%ong the front freCuent%# wou%d re'ark& 9In the o%d da#!3 even divi!iona% co''ander! never 0oked their no!e! into 0%ace! %ike the!e.? +he ourgeoi! @ourna%i!t! wrote of thi! a! a 90ur!uit of !e%f< adverti!e'ent3? and in thi! wa# tran!%ated into their fa'i%iar %anguage !o'ething that wa! e#ond their ken. In 0oint of fact3 the condition! under which the ,ed ar'# wa! created3 it! 0er!ona% co'0o!ition3 and the ver# nature of the civi% war de'anded e/act%# thi! !ort of ehavior. Ever#thing wa! ui%t u0 anew B di!ci0%ine3 fighting tradition3 and 'i%itar# authorit#. 7u!t a! it wa! not in our 0ower3 e!0ecia%%# in the fir!t 0eriod3 to !u00%# the ar'# with a%% it! need! fro' a !ing%e centre and according to 0%an3 @u!t !o were we una %e # 'ean! of circu%ar! or !e'i< anon#'ou! a00ea%! to in!0ire thi! ar'#3 got together under fire3 with revo%utionar# enthu!ia!'. It wa! nece!!ar# to win authorit# in the e#e! of the !o%dier!3 !o that ne/t da# one cou%d @u!tif# to the' the !tern de'and! of the higher co''and. 5here tradition i! %acking3 a !triking e/a'0%e i! e!!entia%. Per!ona% ri!k wa! the unavoida %e ha-ard on the road to victor#. +he co''anding !taff3 which had een drawn into a !erie! of fai%ure!3 needed to e !haken u03 refre!hed and renewed. 4reater change! had to e 'ade a'ong co''i!!arie!. 1%% the unit! were !trengthened fro' the in!ide # adding co''uni!t!3 and fre!h unit! were a%!o eginning to arrive. +he 'i%itar# !choo%! were !ent to the front 0o!t!. In two or three da#!3 the !u00%# !ervice3 which had gone co'0%ete%# !%ack3 wa! tightened u0. +he rank<and<fi%e of the ,ed ar'# got !o'e

heartier food3 changed their %inen and oot!3 %i!tened to a !0eech or two3 0u%%ed the'!e%ve! together3 and eca'e Cuite different 'en. Octo er I1 wa! a critica% da#. Our troo0! had retired to the Pu%kovo height!. Further retreat fro' there wou%d have 'eant tran!ferring the !trugg%e to the !treet! of the cit#. Hnti% then the 5hite! had advanced without 'eeting !eriou! o00o!ition. On the I1!t3 our ar'# took a fir' !tand on the Pu%kovo %ine and offered vigorou! re!i!tance. +he advance of the ene'# wa! checked. On the IId3 the ,ed ar'# a!!u'ed the offen!iveD Yudenich had ti'e to ring u0 re!erve! and !trengthen hi! %ineD the fighting grew ver# itter3 ut # the evening of the I3rd we had retaken +!ar!ko#e $#e%o and Pav%ov!k. In the 'eanti'e3 the neigh oring Fifteenth ar'# wa! eginning to 0re!! in fro' the !outh3 threatening the 5hite rear and right f%ank. +hen ca'e the turning<0oint. Our unit!3 caught unaware! # the offen!ive3 and e' ittered # their rever!e!3 now egan to vie with each other in !e%f<!acrifice and act! of heroi!'. +he# !uffered 'an# %o!!e!. +he 5hite high co''and !tated that our %o!!e! were greater than their!. It i! Cuite 0o!!i %eD the# had ad 'ore e/0erience and had 'ore ar'!. )ut there wa! 'ore !e%f<!acrifice on our !ide. Young worker! and 0ea!ant!3 'i%itar# !tudent! fro' "o!cow and Petrograd3 were utter%# reck%e!! with their %ive!. +he# advanced again!t 'achine<gun fire and attacked tank! with revo%ver! in their hand!. +he genera% !taff of the 5hite! wrote of the 9heroic fren-#? of the ,ed!. In the 0receding da#! hard%# an# 0ri!oner! had een takenD 5hite de!erter! were rare. Now the nu' er of de!erter! and 0ri!oner! !udden%# increa!ed. On Octo er IT3 when I rea%i-ed the itterne!! of the !trugg%e3 I i!!ued an order& 95oe to the unworth# !o%dier who rai!e! hi! knife over a defen!e%e!! 0ri!oner or de!erterJ? Our advance continued. +he E!thonian! and Finn! were no %onger thinking of intervention. +he routed 5hite! were ro%%ed ack in two week! to the E!thonian frontier3 co'0%ete%# de'ora%i-ed. 1! the# cro!!ed the oundar#<%ine3 the E!thonian govern'ent di!ar'ed the'. In =ondon and Pari!3 no one gave the' a thought. 5hat on%# #e!terda# had een the 9north we!tern ar'#? of the Entente wa! now 0eri!hing of co%d and !tarvation. Fourteen thou!and 5hite! were !tricken with t#0hu! and 0oured into the ca'0 ho!0ita%!. +hat wa! the end of the 9wor%d<week of Petrograd fever.? +he 5hite %eader! %ater co'0%ained %oud%# again!t 1d'ira% *owan3 who3 the# !aid3 had roken hi! 0ro'i!e to %end the' !ufficient !u00ort fro' the 4u%f of Fin%and. +he!e co'0%aint! are3 to !a# the %ea!t3 e/aggerated. +hree of our tor0edo< oat! were !unk # 'ine! during a night e/0edition3 carr#ing down with the' 552 #oung !ea'en. +he )riti!h ad'ira% !hou%d at %ea!t e given credit for thi!. +he order to the ar'# and nav# 'ourning the grave %o!! !aid that da#& 9,ed warrior!J On a%% the front! #ou 'eet the ho!ti%e 0%ot! of the Eng%i!h. +he counter<revo%utionar# troo0! !hoot #ou with Eng%i!h gun!. In the de0ot! of $henkur!k and Onega3 on the !outhern and we!tern front!3 #ou find !u00%ie! of Eng%i!h 'anufacture. +he 0ri!oner! #ou have ca0tured are dre!!ed in unifor'! 'ade in Eng%and. +he wo'en and chi%dren of 1rchange% and 1!trakhan are 'ai'ed and ki%%ed # Eng%i!h air'en with the aid of Eng%i!h e/0%o!ive!. Eng%i!h !hi0! o' our !hore! ... 9)ut3 even to<da#3 when we are engaged in a itter fight with Yudenich3 the hire%ing of Eng%and3 I de'and that #ou never forget that there are two Eng%and!. )e!ide! the Eng%and of 0rofit!3 of

vio%ence3 ri er# and %oodthir!tine!!3 there i! the Eng%and of %a or3 of !0iritua% 0ower3 of high idea%! of internationa% !o%idarit#. It i! the a!e and di!hone!t Eng%and of the !tock<e/change 'ani0u%ator! that i! fighting u!. +he Eng=and of %a or and the 0eo0%e i! with u!.? (+he order to the ar'# and nav#3 Octo er IT3 19193 No.159.) For u!3 the ta!k! of education in !ocia%i!' were c%o!e%# intergrated with tho!e of fighting. Idea! that enter the 'ind under fire re'ain there !ecure%# and forever. In $hake!0eare3 traged# a%ternate! with co'ed#3 for the !a'e rea!on that in %ife the !u %i'e i! 'ing%ed with the 0ett# and vu%gar. 6inoviev3 who had # that ti'e 'anaged to ri!e fro' hi! !ofa and to c%i' to the !econd or third heaven3 handed 'e the fo%%owing docu'ent on eha%f of the *o''uni!t Internationa%& 9+he !aving of the ,ed Petrograd 'eant an inva%ua %e !ervice to the wor%d 0ro%etariat3 and con!eCuent%# to the *o''uni!t Internationa%. +o #ou3 dear *o'rade +rot!k#3 e%ong! of cour!e the fir!t 0%ace in the !trugg%e for Petrograd. In the na'e of the E/ecutive *o''ittee of the *o''uni!t Internationa%3 I hand over to #ou the anner!3 with the reCue!t that #ou give the' to the 'o!t de!erving unit! of the g%oriou! ,ed 1r'# under #our %eader!hi0. *hair'an of the E/ecutive *o''ittee of the *o''uni!t Internationa% B 4. 6INO(IE(.? I received docu'ent! %ike thi! fro' the Petrograd $oviet3 fro' trade!<union! and variou! other organi-ation!. I handed the anner! over to the regi'ent! and the docu'ent! were 0ut awa# # '# !ecretarie! in the archive!3 where the# !ta#ed unti%3 !o'e ti'e %ater3 the# were re'oved when 6inoviev egan to !ing new !ong! and in Cuite a different ke#. +o<da# it i! difficu%t to de!cri e3 or even to reca%%3 the out ur!t of @o# over the victor# efore Petrograd3 re@oicing that wa! a%% the greater ecau!e we had @u!t egun to win deci!ive !ucce!!e! on the !outhern front a! we%%. +he revo%ution wa! again ho%ding it! head high. In =enin>! e#e!3 our victor# over Yudenich took on even greater i'0ortance ecau!e toward the 'idd%e of Octo er he had thought it Cuite out of the Cue!tion. +he Po%it ureau decided to confer on 'e the order of the ,ed F%ag for the defen!e of Petrograd. +hi! 0%aced 'e in a ver# difficu%t 0o!ition. I had een rather he!itant a out introducing the revo%utionar# order ecau!e it wa! not ver# %ong !ince we had a o%i!hed the order! of the o%d regi'e. In introducing the order of the ,ed F%ag3 I ho0ed that it 'ight e an added !ti'u%u! for tho!e for who' the con!ciou!ne!! of revo%utionar# dut# wa! not enough. =enin !u00orted 'e in thi!. +he decoration eca'e e!ta %i!hed3 and it wa! awarded3 at %ea!t in tho!e da#!3 for actua% !ervice! under fire. 1nd now it wa! eing given to 'e. I cou%d not dec%ine it without di!0araging the 'ark of di!tinction that I had !o often given to other!. +here wa! nothing for 'e ut to #ie%d to the convention. 10ro0o! of thi!3 I re'e' er an e0i!ode that I !aw in it! 0ro0er %ight on%# !o'e ti'e %ater. 1t the c%o!e of the 'eeting of the Po%it ureau3 Ka'enev3 con!idera %# e' arra!!ed3 introduced a 0ro0o!a% to award the decoration to $ta%in. 9For whatE? Ka%inin inCuired3 !incere%# indignant. 9I can>t under!tand wh# it !hou%d e awarded to $ta%in.? +he# 0acified hi' with a @e!t3 and the 0ro0o!a% wa! acce0ted. 1fter the 'eeting )ukharin 0ounced on Ka%inin. 9*an>t #ou under!tandE +hi! i! =enin>! idea. $ta%in can>t %ive un%e!! he ha! what !o'e one e%!e ha!. Ae wi%% never forgive it.? I under!tood =enin3 and inward%# agreed with hi'.

+he award of the decoration wa! ver# i'0re!!ive%# !taged in the 4rand O0era theatre3 where I 'ade a re0ort on the 'i%itar# !ituation efore the @oint !e!!ion of the 'a@or $oviet in!titution!. 5hen3 toward the end3 the chair'an na'ed $ta%in3 I tried to a00%aud. +wo or three he!itant hand< c%a0! fo%%owed 'ine. 1 !ort of co%d ewi%der'ent cre0t through the hai%D it wa! e!0ecia%%# noticea %e after the ovation! that had gone efore. $ta%in hi'!e%f wa! wi!e%# a !ent. I wa! infinite%# 'ore 0%ea!ed with the award of the decoration of the ,ed F%ag to '# train a! a who%e. 9In the heroic fight of the $eventh ar'# fro' Octo er 1; to Nove' er 33? I !tated in the order of Nove' er T3 9the 'e' er! of our train 0%a#ed a de!erving 0art. *o'rade! Ki%ger3 Ivanov3 and 6a!tar fe%% in att%e. *o'rade! Prede3 8raudin3 Purin3 *hern#avt-ev3 Ku0rievich3 and +e!nek were wounded. *o'rade! 1da'!on3 Purin3 and Ki!e%i! are !uffering fro' !he%%< !hock. I do not 'ention other na'e!3 ecau!e3 if I did3 ever#one wou%d e 'entioned. In the !triking change that ca'e over the front3 the 'e' er! of our train 0%a#ed a 'o!t i'0ortant 0art.? $o'e 'onth! %ater =enin a!ked 'e # te%e0hone& 9Aave #ou read Kirdet-ov>! ookE? +he na'e !ugge!ted nothing to 'e. 9Ae i! a 5hite3 an ene'#. Ae write! a out Yudenich>! advance on Petrograd.? I 'u!t add here that =enin genera%%# watched the 5hite 0u %ication! 'ore c%o!e%# than I. 1 da# %ater he a!ked 'e again& 9Aave #ou read itE? 95ou%d #ou %ike 'e to !end it over to #ouE? )ut I decided that I had the ook3 !ince =enin and I received the !a'e new 0u %ication! fro' )er%in. 9You 'u!t read the %a!t cha0ter. It i! an a00reciation of the ene'#. It !a#! !o'ething a out #ou3 too.? )ut !o'ehow I didn>t find o00ortunit# to read the ook. $trange%# enough3 I ca'e acro!! it in *on!tantino0%e3 and re'e' ered =enin>! in!i!tence that I read the %a!t cha0ter. Aere i! the a00reciation fro' the ene'# a! given # one of Yudenich>! 'ini!ter!& 9On Octo er 1Q3 +rot!k# arrived in ha!te at the Petrograd front3 and the confu!ion of the ,ed $taff gave wa# efore hi! urning energ#. 1 few hour! efore the fa%% of 4atchina3 he wa! !ti%% tr#ing to check the advance of the 5hite!D ut when he !aw how i'0o!!i %e that wa! he %eft the town in a hurr# to organi-e the defen!e of +!ar!ko#e $#e%o. +he heav# re!erve! had not #et co'e u03 ut he Cuick%# concentrated a%% the Petrograd 'i%itar# !tudent!3 'o i%i-ed the entire 'a%e 0o0u%ation of Petrograd3 and with 'achine<gun! LEJM drove a%% the ,ed ar'# unit! ack to their 0o!ition!3 and # 'ean! of hi! energetic 'ea!ure! e!ta %i!hed defen!e! on a%% the a00roache! to Petrograd ... 9+rot!k# !ucceeded in organi-ing detach'ent! of worker<co''uni!t!3 'en who were !trong in !0irit3 in Petrograd it!e%f3 and threw the' into the thick of the fight. 1ccording to the evidence of Yudenich>! !taff3 the!e detach'ent! ut not LEM the ,ed ar'# unit!3 together with the 'arine atta%ion! and 'i%itar# !tudent!3 fought %ike %ion!. +he# attacked the tank! with their a#onet!3 and3 a%though the# were 'owed down in row! # the deva!tating fire of the !tee% 'on!ter!3 the# continued to defend their 0o!ition!.? 5e never drove the 'en of the ,ed ar'# with 'achine<gun!. )ut we did !ave Petrograd.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <<<V0

T3( M0L0TA!4 &PP&)0T0&'

+he foundation for the !ucce!!fu% u0 ui%ding of the ,ed ar'# wa! the 0ro0er re%ation!hi0 etween the 0ro%etariat and the 0ea!antr# throughout the countr#. =ater3 in 19I33 a !tu0id %egend wa! invented to the effect that I 9undere!ti'ated? the 0ea!antr#. 1! a 'atter of fact3 fro' 191G to 19I13 I had to dea% with the 0ro %e'! of rura% %ife 'ore c%o!e%# and direct%# than an#one e%!e3 ecau!e the ar'# wa! eing rai!ed chief%# fro' a'ong the 0ea!ant!3 and carried on it! work in con!tant touch with 0ea!ant %ife. +he Cue!tion i! too %arge to e di!cu!!ed here at %ength. $o I !ha%% confine '#!e%f to two or three !ufficient%# out!tanding e/a'0%e!. On "arch II3 19193 I de'anded over the direct wire that the *entra% *o''ittee 9decide the Cue!tion of an officia% inCuir# # the *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee in the (o%ga region3 and of the a00oint'ent of an authoritative co''i!!ion fro' the *entra% *o''ittee and the *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee. +he co''i!!ion>! @o !hou%d e to !trengthen the faith of the (o%ga 0ea!antr# in the centra% $oviet 0ower3 to correct the 'o!t con!0icuou! %oca% i%%ega%itie!3 and 0uni!h the gui%t# re0re!entative! of the $oviet 0owerD to gather co'0%aint! and 'ateria%! to e u!ed a! the a!i! of de'on!trative decree! in favor of the P'idd%e> 0ea!ant.? It i! intere!ting to note that I he%d thi! conver!ation over the direct wire with no one other than $ta%inD and it wa! to hi' that I e/0%ained the i'0ortance of the Cue!tion of the 'idd%e 0ea!ant. In the !a'e #ear Ka%inin3 at '# in!tigation3 wa! e%ected chair'an of the *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee a! a 'an who wa! c%o!e to the 'idd%e 0ea!ant! and fa'i%iar with their 0ecu%iar need!. )ut 'ore i'0ortant i! the fact that a! ear%# a! Fe ruar#3 19I23 inf%uenced # '# own o !ervation of the %ive! of the Hra% 0ea!ant!3 I in!i!tent%# advocated a change in the new econo'ic 0o%ic#. In the *entra% *o''ittee I 'u!tered on%# four vote! again!t an o00o!ing e%even. 1t that ti'e =enin wa! irreconci%a %# again!t a o%i!hing the food %ev#. Of cour!e $ta%in voted again!t 'e. +he change to the new econo'ic 0o%ic# went into effect @u!t a #ear %ater3 unani'ou!%#3 ut to the tune of the ru' %ing! of the Kron!tadt re e%%ion and in an at'o!0here of threatening 'ood! in the entire ar'#. "o!t of the Cue!tion! of 0rinci0%e and the difficu%tie! in connection with the con!tructive work of the $oviet! during the #ear! that fo%%owed were encountered fir!t of a%% in the 'i%itar# !0here3 and in 'o!t concentrated for' at that. 1! a ru%e3 !o%ution! had to e found on the !0ur of the 'o'ent3 and 'i!take! were fo%%owed # i''ediate retri ution. 5hatever o00o!ition there 'ight e wa! te!ted in action3 right on the !0ot. Aence3 # and %arge3 the inner %ogic of the deve%o0'ent of the ,ed ar'#3 and the a !ence of wi%d %ea0! fro' one !#!te' to another. If we had had 'ore ti'e for di!cu!!ion3 we !hou%d 0ro a %# have 'ade a great 'an# 'ore 'i!take!.

1nd #et there wa! fighting within the 0art#3 often ver# itter. +hing! cou%d not have een otherwi!e. +he work wa! too new3 the difficu%tie! 'uch too great. +he o%d ar'# wa! !ti%% reaking u0 and !owing hatred of war over the countr# at the ti'e when we were o %iged to rai!e new regi'ent!. +he *-ar>! officer! were eing driven out of the o%d ar'#3 !o'eti'e! Cuite ruth%e!!%#D we had to enro%% the!e ver# officer! a! in!tructor! for the ,ed ar'#. *o''ittee! ca'e into e/i!tence in the o%d regi'ent! a! the ver# e' odi'ent of the revo%ution3 at %ea!t during it! fir!t 0eriod. In the new regi'ent! the co''ittee !#!te' wa! not to e to%eratedD it !tood for di!integration. +he cur!e! again!t the o%d di!ci0%ine were !ti%% ringing in our ear! when we egan to introduce the new. In a !hort ti'e3 we had to go fro' vo%untar# en%i!t'ent to con!cri0tion3 fro' detach'ent! of irregu%ar! to a 0ro0er 'i%itar# organi-ation. 5e had continuou!%# to fight the 'ethod! of the irregu%ar! B a fight that de'anded the ut'o!t 0er!i!tence and unwi%%ingne!! to co'0ro'i!e3 !o'eti'e! even the !terne!t 'ea!ure!. +he chao! of irregu%ar warfare e/0re!!ed the 0ea!ant e%e'ent that %a# eneath the revo%ution3 wherea! the !trugg%e again!t it wa! a%!o a !trugg%e in favor of the 0ro%etarian !tate organi-ation>! o00o!ed to the e%e'enta%3 0ett#< ourgeoi! anarch# that wa! under'ining it. )ut the 'ethod! and wa#! of the irregu%ar fighting found an echo in the rank! of the 0art#3 a! we%%. On the 'i%itar# Cue!tion3 the o00o!ition a!!u'ed a 'ore or %e!! definite for' during the fir!t 'onth! of the organi-ing of the ,ed ar'#. It! funda'enta% idea! found e/0re!!ion in a defen!e of the e%ectora% 'ethod and in 0rote!t! again!t the en%i!t'ent of e/0ert!3 the introduction of 'i%itar# di!ci0%ine3 the centra%i-ing of the ar'#3 and !o on. +he o00o!ition tried to find !o'e genera% theoretica% for'u%a for their !tand. +he# in!i!ted that a centra%i-ed ar'# wa! characteri!tic of a ca0ita%i!t !tateD revo%ution had to %ot out not on%# 0o!itiona% war3 ut a centra%i-ed ar'# a! we%%. +he ver# e!!ence of revo%ution wa! it! a i%it# to 'ove a out3 to de%iver !wift attack!3 and to carr# out 'aneuver!D it! fighting force wa! e' odied in a !'a%%3 inde0endent detach'ent 'ade u0 of variou! ar'!D it wa! not ound to a a!eD in it! o0eration! it re%ied who%%# on the !u00ort of a !#'0athetic 0o0u%aceD it cou%d e'erge free%# in the ene'#>! rear3 etc. In !hort3 the tactic! of a s#all war were 0roc%ai'ed the tactic! of revo%ution. +hi! wa! a%% ver# a !tract and wa! rea%%# nothing ut an idea%i-ation of our weakne!!. +he !eriou! e/0erience of the civi% war ver# !oon di!0roved the!e 0re@udice!. +he !u0eriorit# of centra% organi-ation and !trateg# over %oca% i'0rovi!ation!3 'i%itar# !e0arati!' and federa%i!'3 revea%ed it!e%f on%# too !oon and too c%ear%# in the e/0erience! of the !trugg%e. +he ,ed ar'# had in it! !ervice thou!and!3 and3 %ater on3 ten! of thou!and! of o%d officer!. In their own word!3 'an# of the' on%# two #ear! efore had thought of 'oderate %i era%! a! e/tre'e revo%utionarie!3 whi%e the )o%!hevik!3 in their e#e!3 e%onged to the fourth di'en!ion. 95e !hou%d indeed have a %ow o0inion of our!e%ve! and of our 0art#3? I wrote again!t the o00o!ition at that ti'e3 9of the 'ora% force of our idea3 of the drawing 0ower of our revo%utionar# 'ora%e3 if we thought our!e%ve! inca0a %e of winning over thou!and! and thou!and! of P!0ecia%i!t!3> inc%uding 'i%itar# one!.? 5e certain%# achieved our end3 ut not without difficu%t# and friction. +he co''uni!t! ada0ted the'!e%ve! to the 'i%itar# work with !o'e difficu%t#. Aere !e%ection and training were e!!entia%. Even when we were efore Ka-an3 in 1ugu!t3 191G3 I te%egra0hed =enin& 9On%# co''uni!t! who know how to o e# !hou%d e !ent here3 the one! who are read# to !uffer hard!hi0! and are 0re0ared to die. Featherweight agitator! are not wanted here.? 1 #ear

%ater3 in the Hkraine3 where anarch# wa! ra'0ant even in the 0art# rank!3 I wrote in an order to the fourteenth ar'#& 9I give warning that ever# co''uni!t de%egated # the 0art# to @oin the rank! of the ar'# eco'e! there # a 0art of the ,ed ar'# and ha! the !a'e right! and dutie! a! ever# other !o%dier of the ,ed ar'#. *o''uni!t! found gui%t# of 'i!de'eanor! and cri'e! again!t the revo%utionar# 'i%itar# dut# wi%% e dou %# 0uni!hed3 for offen!e! that 'a# e condoned in a enighted3 uneducated 'an cannot e condoned in a 'e' er of the 0art# that %ead! the working c%a!!e! of the wor%d.? O viou!%#3 'uch friction aro!e on thi! !core3 and there wa! no dearth of 'a%content!. +he 'i%itar# o00o!itioni!t! inc%uded3 for e/a'0%e3 P#atakov3 the 0re!ent director of the $tate )ank. Ae u!ua%%# @oined ever# o00o!ition3 on%# to wind u0 a! a govern'ent officia%. +hree or four #ear! ago3 when P#atakov e%onged to the !a'e grou0 a! I did3 I 0ro0he!ied in @e!t that in the event of a )ona0arti!t coup d<tat, P#atakov wou%d go to the office the ne/t da# with hi! riefca!e. Now I can add 'ore earne!t%# that if thi! fai%! to co'e a out3 it wi%% e on%# through %ack of a )ona0arti!t coup d<tat, and not through an# fau%t of P#atakov>!. In the Hkraine3 he en@o#ed con!idera %e inf%uence3 not # accident ut ecau!e he i! a fair%# we%%<educated "ar/i!t3 e!0ecia%%# in the rea%' of econo'ic!3 and i! undou ted%# a good ad'ini!trator3 with a re!erve of wi%%. In the ear%# #ear!3 P#atakov !howed revo%utionar# energ#3 ut it %ater changed to a ureaucratic con!ervati!'. In fighting hi! !e'i<anarchi!t view!3 I re!orted to giving hi' an i'0ortant 0o!t fro' the ver# out!et3 !o that he wou%d have to change fro' word! to deed!. +hi! 'ethod i! not new3 ut often i! ver# efficaciou!. Ai! ad'ini!trative !en!e !oon 0ro'0ted hi' to a00%# the ver# 'ethod! again!t which he had een waging hi! war of word!. $uch change! were co''on. 1%% the e!t e%e'ent! of the 'i%itar# o00o!ition were !oon drawn into the work. 1t the !a'e ti'e I offered the 'o!t i'0%aca %e an o00ortunit# to organi-e a few regi'ent! according to their own 0rinci0%e!3 0ro'i!ing for '# 0art to give the' a%% the nece!!ar# re!ource!. On%# one di!trict grou0 on the (o%ga acce0ted the cha%%enge3 and organi-ed a regi'ent that wa! in no wa# different fro' the re!t. +he ,ed ar'# wa! winning on a%% the front!3 and the o00o!ition eventua%%# 'e%ted awa#. +!arit!in3 where the 'i%itar# worker! were grou0ed around (oro!hiov3 he%d a !0ecia% 0%ace in the ,ed ar'# and in the 'i%itar# o00o!ition. +here revo%utionar# detach'ent! were headed chief%# # for'er non<co''i!!ioned officer! fro' a'ong the 0ea!ant! of the northern *auca!u!. +he dee0 antagoni!' etween the *o!!ack! and the 0ea!ant! of the !outhern !te00e! i'0arted a viciou! ferocit# to the civi% war in that regionD it 0enetrated far into the vi%%age! and %ed to the who%e!a%e e/ter'ination of entire fa'i%ie!. +hi! wa! a 0ea!ant war with it! root! dee0 in %oca% !oi%3 and3 in it! 'ou-hik ferocit#3 it far !ur0a!!ed the revo%utionar# !trugg%e in a%% other 0art! of the countr#. +hi! war rought forward a good 'an# !ta%wart irregu%ar! who e/ce%%ed in %oca% !kir'i!hing ut u!ua%%# fai%ed when the# had to undertake 'i%itar# ta!k! of %arger !co0e. +he %ife of (oro!hi%ov i%%u!trate! the career of a worker<revo%utioni!t3 with it! %eader!hi0 in !trike!3 underground work3 i'0ri!on'ent3 and e/i%e. =ike 'an# of the other ru%er! of to<da#3 (oro!hi%ov wa! 'ere%# a nationa% revo%utionar# de'ocrat fro' a'ong the worker!3 nothing 'oreD thi! wa! 'o!t a00arent in the i'0eria%i!t 4reat 5ar3 and %ater on in the Fe ruar# revo%ution. In the officia% iogra0hie! of (oro!hi%ov3 the #ear! 191T<1; are a great %ank3 a! i!

true of 'o!t of the 0re!ent %eader!. +he !ecret of thi! %ank i! that during the war 'o!t of the!e 'en were 0atriot!3 and di!continued their revo%utionar# work. In the Fe ruar# revo%ution3 (oro!hi%ov3 %ike $ta%in3 !u00orted the govern'ent of 4uchkov and "iiukoff fro' the %eft. +he# were e/tre'e revo%utionar# de'ocrat!3 ut in no !en!e internationa%i!t!. 1! a ru%e3 the )o%!hevik! who were 0atriot! during the war were de'ocrat! after the Fe ruar# revo%ution3 and are to<da# fo%%ower! of $ta%in>! nationa% !ocia%i!'. (oro!hi%ov i! no e/ce0tion. 1%though he wa! one of the =ugan!k worker!3 fro' their 0rivi%eged to0 !ection3 in hi! ha it! and ta!te! (oro!hi%ov a%wa#! re!e' %ed a !'a%% 0ro0rietor 'ore than he did a 0ro%etarian. 1fter the Octo er revo%ution3 he eca'e the natura% centre of the o00o!ition of non<co''i!!ioned officer! and irregu%ar! again!t a centra%i-ed 'i%itar# organi-ation de'anding 'i%itar# know%edge and a wider out%ook. $uch wa! the origin of the +!arit!in o00o!ition. In (oro!hi%ov>! circ%e!3 9!0ecia%i!t!3? graduate! of the 'i%itar# acade'#3 high !taff!3 and "o!cow were 'entioned with hatred. )ut !ince the chief! of the irregu%ar! had no 'i%itar# know%edge of their own3 ever# one had c%o!e at hand hi! own 9!0ecia%i!t? who3 eing natura%%# of the !econd order3 he%d tenaciou!%# to hi! 0o!t again!t the 'ore ca0a %e and etter infor'ed. +he attitude of the +!arit!in 'i%itar# head! toward the co''and of the !outhern 'i%itar# front !carce%# differed fro' their attitude toward the 5hite!. +heir contact with the "o!cow centre did not go e#ond a con!tant de'and for 'unition!. Our re!ource! were ver# !%ightD ever#thing 0roduced # the factorie! wa! i''ediate%# !ent to the ar'ie!. Not one of the'3 however3 a !or ed a! 'an# rif%e! or cartridge! a! the +!arit!in ar'#. 5henever it! de'and! were refu!ed3 +!arit!in wou%d rai!e the cr# of 9trea!on # the "o!cow !0ecia%i!t!.? It ke0t a !0ecia% re0re!entative in "o!cow3 a !ai%or na'ed 6hivod#or3 to e/tort !u00%ie! for it! ar'#. 5hen we tightened u0 on the di!ci0%ine3 6hivod#or turned andit. I e%ieve that %ater he wa! caught and !hot. $ta%in !ta#ed in +!arit!in for a few 'onth!3 !ha0ing hi! intrigue again!t 'e with the aid of the ho'e< red o00o!ition of (oro!hi%ov and hi! c%o!e!t a!!ociate!D even then it wa! a!!u'ing a ver# 0ro'inent 0%ace in hi! activitie!. Ae !o conducted hi'!e%f3 however3 a! to e a %e to withdraw at an# 'o'ent. Ever# da# I wou%d receive fro' the high co''and or the front co''and! !uch co'0%aint! again!t +!arit!in a!& it i! i'0o!!i %e to get e/ecution! of an order3 it i! i'0o!!i %e to find out what i! going on there3 it i! even i'0o!!i %e to get an an!wer to an inCuir#. =enin watched the conf%ict deve%o0 with a%ar'. Ae knew $ta%in etter than I did3 and o viou!%# !u!0ected that the !tu ornne!! of +!arit!in wa! eing !ecret%# !taged # $ta%in. +he !ituation eca'e into%era %eD I decided to enforce order in +!arit!in. 1fter a new c%a!h etween the high co''and and +!arit!in3 I o tained $ta%in>! reca%%. It wa! done through the 'ediu' of $v#erd%ov3 who went in a !0ecia% train to ring $ta%in ack. =enin wa! an/iou! to reduce the conf%ict to it! 'ini'u'3 and in thi! he of cour!e wa! right. I3 for '# 0art3 !carce%# ever gave $ta%in a thought. In 191; he f%a!hed efore 'e a! a are%# 0erce0ti %e !hadow. In the heat of the fight I u!ua%%# forgot hi! e/i!tence. I thought of the +!arit!in ar'# ecau!e I needed a de0enda %e %eft f%ank on the !outhern front3 and I !et out for +!arit!in to arrange it at an# co!t. On '# wa# there I 'et $v#erd%ov. Ae inCuired cautiou!%# a out '# intention!3 and then !ugge!ted that I have a ta%k with $ta%in3 who3 a! it ha00ened3 wa! returning in the !a'e car with $v#erd%ov.

98o #ou rea%%# wi!h to di!'i!! the' a%%E? $ta%in a!ked 'e3 in a tone of e/aggerated hu'i%it#. 9+he# are fine o#!J? 9+ho!e fine o#! wi%% ruin the revo%ution3 which can>t wait for the' to grow out of their ado%e!cence3? I an!wered hi'. 91%% I want i! to draw +!arit!in into $oviet ,u!!ia.? 1 few hour! %ater I 'et (oro!hi%ov. +he !taff wa! in a !tate of a%ar'. +he ru'or wa! that +rot!k# wa! co'ing with a ig roo' and hi! !core of *-ari!t genera%! to re0%ace the irregu%ar chief!3 who3 I 'u!t add3 had a%% hurried%# rena'ed the'!e%ve! a! co''ander! of regi'ent!3 rigade!3 and divi!ion! # the ti'e I arrived there. I 0ut the Cue!tion to (oro!hi%ov& how did he regard the order! fro' the front and the high co''andE Ae o0ened hi! heart to 'e& +!arit!in thought it nece!!ar# to e/ecute on%# !uch order! a! it con!idered right. +hat wa! too 'uch. I retorted that if he did not undertake to carr# out the order! and 'i%itar# ta!k! e/act%# and a !o%ute%# a! the# were given to hi'3 I wou%d i''ediate%# !end hi' under convo# to "o!cow for co''itta% efore the revo%utionar# tri una%. I di!'i!!ed no one3 !ati!fied with the for'a% a!!urance of o edience. "o!t of the co''uni!t! in the +!arit!in ar'# !u00orted 'e with utter !incerit#3 not 'ere%# out of fear. I vi!ited a%% the unit! and encouraged the irregu%ar!3 a'ong who' there were 'an# e/ce%%ent !o%dier! who needed on%# 0ro0er %eader!hi0. 5ith thi!3 I returned to "o!cow. In a%% thi! affair3 I had no fee%ing of 0er!ona% 0re@udice or i%% wi%%. I think I can rightfu%%# !a# that in a%% '# 0o%itica% activit# 0er!ona% con!ideration! have never 0%a#ed a 0art. )ut in the great !trugg%e that we were carr#ing on3 the !take! were too ig to 0er'it 'e to con!ider !ide i!!ue!. 1! a re!u%t3 I freCuent%# trod on the toe! of 0er!ona% 0re@udice3 friend%# favoriti!'3 or vanit#. $ta%in carefu%%# 0icked u0 the 'en who!e toe! had een trodden onD he had the ti'e and the 0er!ona% intere!t to do it. Fro' that ti'e on3 the +!arit!in ru%ing circ%e eca'e one of hi! chief wea0on!. 1! !oon a! =enin fe%% i%%3 $ta%in with the he%0 of hi! a%%ie! had +!arit!in rena'ed $ta%ingrad. +he 'a!! of the 0eo0%e had not the gho!t of an idea what the na'e 'eant. 1nd if (oro!hi%ov i! toda# a 'e' er of the Po%it ureau3 the on%# rea!on B I !ee no other B i! that in 191G I forced hi! !u 'i!!ion # the threat of !ending hi' under convo# to "o!cow. I fee% that it wi%% e intere!ting to i%%u!trate the cha0ter on our 'i%itar# work3 or rather on the !trugg%e connected with it with in the 0art#3 # a few e/cer0t! fro' the 0art# corre!0ondence of that ti'e3 hitherto un0u %i!hed an#where. On Octo er T3 191G3 I !aid to =enin and $v#erdiov over a direct wire fro' +a' ov& 9I in!i!t categorica%%# on $ta%in>! reca%%. +he +!arit!in front i! in a ad wa#3 de!0ite the a undance of troo0!. I %eave hi' ((oro!hi%ov) a! co''ander of the +enth (+!arit!in) ar'# on condition of o edience to the co''ander of the !outhern front. Hnti% now the 'en there have not even !ent re0ort! of o0eration! to Ko-%ov. I 'ade the' undertake to !end in re0ort! of o0eration! and reconnoitring twice a da#. If thi! i! not done to'orrow3 I wi%% co''it (oro!hi%ov to tria% and announce thi! in an order to the ar'#. +here i! on%# a !hort ti'e %eft for an offen!ive efore the road! eco'e i'0a!!a %e either # foot or # hor!e. 5e have no ti'e for di0%o'atic negotiation!.

$ta%in wa! reca%%ed. =enin under!tood that I wa! guided on%# # 'i%itar# con!ideration!. 1t the !a'e ti'e3 he wa! natura%%# di!tur ed # the di!agree'ent and tried to !'ooth out our re%ation!. On Octo er I3 he wrote to 'e at )a%a!hov& 9+oda#3 $ta%in returned ringing with hi' new! of three ig victorie! # our troo0! efore +!arit!in. L1M $ta%in ha! 0er!uaded (oro!hi%ov and "inin3 who' he con!ider! ver# va%ua %e and Cuite irre0%acea %e worker!3 not to %eave3 and to o e# in fu%% the order! of the centre. +he on%# cau!e of their di!!ati!faction3 according to hi'3 i! the e/tre'e de%a# or even fai%ure in !ending the' !he%%! and cartridge!3 for %ack of which the two hundred thou!and !trong of the *auca!ian ar'#3 which i! in fine fett%e3 are a%!o 0eri!hing. LIM $ta%in i! an/iou! to work on the !outhern front. Ae ho0e! that in actua% work he wi%% e a %e to de'on!trate the correctne!! of hi! view ... In infor'ing #ou3 =ev 8av#dovich3 of a%% the!e !tate'ent! of $ta%in>!3 I reCue!t that #ou con!ider the' and re0%#3 fir!t3 a! to #our wi%%ingne!! to ta%k the 'atter over with $ta%in 0er!ona%%# B for thi! he agree! to vi!it #ou B and !econd3 if #ou think it 0o!!i %e to re'ove the friction # certain concrete ter'! and to arrange for the @oint work which $ta%in !o 'uch de!ire!. 1! for 'e3 I think it nece!!ar# to 'ake ever# effort to arrange to work in con@unction with $ta%in. =ENIN.? I re0%ied !tating '# co'0%ete accord3 and $ta%in wa! a00ointed a 'e' er of the ,evo%utionar# "i%itar# *ounci% of the !outhern front. 1%a!3 the co'0ro'i!e rought no re!u%t!. In +!arit!in thing! did not i'0rove a it. On 8ece' er 1T I te%egra0hed =enin fro' Kur!k& 9It i! i'0o!!i %e to %eave (oro!hi%ov at hi! 0o!t after he ha! nu%%ified a%% atte'0t! at co'0ro'i!e. It i! nece!!ar# to !end a new ,evo%utionar# "i%itar# *ounci% with a new co''ander to +!arit!in3 and to tran!fer (oro!hi%ov to the Hkraine.? +hi! 0ro0o!a% wa! acce0ted without o00o!ition. )ut 'atter! in the Hkraine did not i'0rove either. Even a! it wa!3 the anarch# that reigned there had 'ade regu%ar 'i%itar# work ver# difficu%t3 and now (oro!hi%ov>! o00o!ition3 with $ta%in again ehind hi'3 'ade the work Cuite i'0o!!i %e. On 7anuar# 123 19193 I tran!'itted the fo%%owing 'e!!age to $v#erd%ov3 then chair'an of the *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee3 fro' the !tation of 4r#a-i& 9I 'u!t categorica%%# !tate that the +!arit!in 0o%ic#3 which %ed to the co'0%ete di!integration of the +!arit!in ar'#3 cannot e to%erated in the Hkraine ... +he %ine 0ur!ued # $ta%in3 (oro!hi%ov and *o. 'ean! the ruin of the entire enter0ri!e. +,O+$KY.? =enin and $v#erd%ov3 who were watching the work of the +!arit!in grou0 fro' a di!tance3 were !ti%% tr#ing to achieve a co'0ro'i!e. Hnfortunate%# I haven>t their te%egra'3 ut on 7anuar# 11 I an!wered =enin& 91 co'0ro'i!e i! of cour!e nece!!ar#3 ut not one that i! rotten. In 0oint of actua% fact3 a%% the +!arit!in 'en are gathered now at Kharkoff ... I con!ider $ta%in>! 0atronage of the +!arit!in 0o%ic# a 'o!t dangerou! u%cer3 wor!e than an# trea!on or etra#a% # 'i%itar# !0ecia%i!t!. ... +,O+$KY.?

9' co#pro#ise is necessary, but not one that is rotten.? Four #ear! %ater3 =enin returned thi! 0hra!e3 a%'o!t word for word3 a0ro0o! of the !a'e $ta%in. It wa! efore the twe%fth 0art# congre!!. =enin wa! getting read# to rout the $ta%in grou03 and o0ened hi! attack on the %ine of the Cue!tion of nationa%it#. 5hen I !ugge!ted a co'0ro'i!e3 =enin an!wered& ?$ta%in wi%% 'ake a rotten co'0ro'i!e and then he wi%% deceive u!.? In a %etter to the *entra% *o''ittee in "arch3 19193 I re0%ied to 6inoviev3 who wa! f%irting eCuivoca%%# with the 'i%itar# o00o!ition& 9I cannot engage in inve!tigation! of individua% 0!#cho%og# to deter'ine which grou0 of the 'i%itar# o00o!ition (oro!hi%ov !hou%d e inc%uded in3 ut I wi%% !a# that the on%# thing I can %a'e '#!e%f for3 in regard to hi'3 i! '# 0rotracted atte'0t3 e/tending over two or three 'onth!3 to 0roceed # 'ean! of negotiation!3 0er!ua!ion!3 and 0er!ona% co' ination!3 when the intere!t! of the work de'anded in!tead a fir'3 ad'ini!trative deci!ion. For3 after a%%3 the 0ro %e' of the +enth ar'# wa! not one of changing (oro!hi%ov>! view!3 ut of !ecuring 'i%itar# !ucce!! in the !horte!t 0o!!i %e ti'e.? On "a# 323 an in!i!tent de'and reached =enin fro' Kharkoff to for' a !e0arate Hkrainian grou0 of ar'ie! under (oro!hi%ov>! co''and. =enin co''unicated thi! to 'e at the !tation of Kante'irovka3 over the direct wire. On 7une 13 I re0%ied to hi'& 9+he in!i!tent de'and! of certain Hkrainian! to 'erge the $econd3 Eighth and +hirteenth ar'ie! under (oro!hi%ov are utter%# indefen!i %e. 5hat we need i! not an o0erative unit# in the. 8on#et-k di!trict ut a genera% unit# again!t 8enikin +he idea of a 'i%itar# and food dictator!hi0 # (oro!hi%ov (in the Hkraine) i! the re!u%t of the 8on#et-k !e0arati!' directed again!t Kiev (i.e.3 again!t the Hkrainian govern'ent) and the !outhern front. I have no dou t that the rea%i-ation of thi! 0%an wou%d on%# increa!e the chao! and wou%d utter%# ki%% the direction of o0eration!. P%ea!e de'and that (oro!hi%ov and "e-h%auk carr# out the rea% ta!k that ha! een given the'. +,O+$KY.? On 7une 13 =enin te%egra0hed (oro!hi%ov& 9It i! a !o%ute%# i'0erative that a%% agitation e !to00ed i''ediate%#3 and that a%% work e 0%aced on a 'i%itar# a!i!D that no 'ore ti'e e wa!ted on a%% the fine 0ro@ect! a out !e0arate grou0! and !i'i%ar atte'0t! at re!toring the Hkrainian front. =ENIN.? Aaving %earned fro' e/0erience how difficu%t it wa! to 'anage the undi!ci0%ined !e0arati!t!3 =enin ca%%ed a 'eeting of the Po%it ureau the !a'e da# and got the fo%%owing deci!ion ado0tedD it wa! !ent i''ediate%# to (oro!hi%ov and to a%% intere!ted 0er!on!& 9+he Po%it ureau of the *entra% *o''ittee 'et on 7une >3 and in co'0%ete agree'ent with +rot!k# re@ected deci!ive%# the Hkrainian 0%an to create a !e0arate 8on#et-k unit#. 5e de'and that (oro!hi%ov and "e-hiauk carr# out their i''ediate work ... or the da# after to<'orrow +rot!k# wi%% ca%% #ou to I-#u' and 'ake hi! deci!ion! 'ore detai%ed ... )# the in!truction of the )ureau of the *entra% *o''ittee. =ENIN.? Ne/t da#3 the *entra% *o''ittee took u0 the Cue!tion of the ar'# co''ander3 (oro!hi%ov3 who had ar itrari%# taken for the u!e of hi! ar'# the greater 0art of the 'i%itar# !u00%ie! ca0tured fro' the ene'#. +he *entra% *o''ittee re!o%ved& 9+o in!truct *o'rade ,akov!k# to te%egra0h thi! to *o'rade +rot!k# at I-#u' and a!k hi' to take the 'o!t energetic 'ea!ure! to tran!fer

the!e !u00%ie! for the di!0o!a% of the ,evo%utionar# "i%itar# *ounci% of the ,e0u %ic.? On the !a'e da#3 =enin infor'ed 'e # direct wire& 98# enko and (oro!hi%ov 'aking free with 'i%itar# 0ro0ert#. *o'0%ete chao!3 no !eriou! he%0 given the 8on#et-k a!e. =ENIN.? In other word!3 what wa! going on in the Hkraine wa! !i'0%# a re0etition of the 0ractice! again!t which I had fought in +!arit!in. It i! no wonder that '# 'i%itar# work created !o 'an# ene'ie! for 'e. I did not %ook to the !ide3 I e% owed awa# tho!e who interfered with 'i%itar# !ucce!!3 or in the ha!te of the work trod on the toe! of the unheeding and wa! too u!# even to a0o%ogi-e. $o'e 0eo0%e re'e' er !uch thing!. +he di!!ati!fied and tho!e who!e fee%ing! had een hurt found their wa# to $ta%in or 6inoviev3 for the!e two a%!o nouri!hed hurt!. Ever# rever!e at the front %ed the 'a%content! to increa!e their 0re!!ure on =enin. )ehind the !cene!3 the!e 'achination! were even then eing 'anaged # $ta%in. "e'oranda were !u 'itted critici!ing our 'i%itar# 0o%ic#3 '# 0atronage of the 9!0ecia%i!t!3? the har!h treat'ent of the co''uni!t!3 and !o on. *o''ander! who had een co'0e%%ed to re!ign or fru!trated ,ed 9'ar!ha%!? !ent in one re0ort after another 0ointing out the 0recariou!ne!! of our !trateg#3 the !a otage # the high co''and3 and 'uch e%!e e!ide!. =enin wa! too 'uch a !or ed in the genera% Cue!tion of direction to 'ake tri0! to the front! or to enter into the ever#<da# work of the 'i%itar# de0art'ent. I !ta#ed at the front! 'o!t of the ti'e3 which faci%itated the activitie! of the "o!cow whi!0erer!. +heir in!i!tent critici!'! cou%d not ut occa!iona%%# di!tur =enin. )# the ti'e I 0aid '# vi!it to "o!cow3 he had accu'u%ated 'an# dou t! and Cue!tion!. )ut after ha%f an hour>! ta%k with 'e our 'utua% under!tanding and co'0%ete !o%idarit# were again re!tored. 8uring our rever!e! in the Ea!t3 when Ko%chak wa! a00roaching the (o%ga3 at one of the 'eeting! of the $oviet of *o''i!!arie! to which I had co'e !traight fro' the train3 =enin wrote 'e a note& 95hat if we fire a%% the !0ecia%i!t! and a00oint =a!hevich a! co''ander<in<chiefE? =a!hevich wa! an o%d )o%!hevik who had earned hi! 0ro'otion to the rank of a !ergeant in the 94er'an? war. I re0%ied on the !a'e note& 9*hi%d>! 0%a#J? =enin %ooked !%#%# at 'e fro' under hi! heav# row!3 with a ver# e/0re!!ive gri'ace that !ee'ed to !a#& 9You are ver# har!h with 'e.? )ut3 dee0 down3 he rea%%# %iked a ru0t an!wer! that %eft no roo' for dou t. 5e ca'e together after the 'eeting. =enin a!ked 'e variou! thing! a out the front. 9You a!k 'e3? I !aid3 9if it wou%d not e etter to kick out a%% the o%d officer!E )ut do #ou know how 'an# of the' we have in the ar'# nowE? 9Not even a00ro/i'ate%#E? 9I don>t know.? 9Not %e!! than thirt# thou!and.? 95hatE?

9Not %e!! than thirt# thou!and. For ever# traitor3 there are a hundred who are de0enda %eD for ever# one who de!ert!3 there are two or three who get ki%%ed. Aow are we to re0%ace the' a%%E? 1 few da#! %ater3 =enin wa! 'aking a !0eech on the 0ro %e'! of con!tructing the !ocia%i!t co''onwea%th. +hi! i! what he !aid& 95hen *o'rade +rot!k# recent%# infor'ed 'e that in our 'i%itar# de0art'ent the officer! are nu' ered in ten! of thou!and!3 I gained a concrete conce0tion of what con!titute! the !ecret of 'aking 0ro0er u!e of our ene'# ...3 of how to ui%d co''uni!' out of the rick! that the ca0ita%i!t! had gathered to u!e again!t u!.? 1t the 0art# congre!! he%d a out the !a'e ti'e3 =enin in '# a !ence B I wa! at the front B ca'e forward with an i'0a!!ioned defen!e of the 'i%itar# 0o%ic# that I wa! carr#ing out3 again!t the critici!'! of the o00o!ition. For thi! rea!on the 'inute! of the 'i%itar# !ection of the eighth congre!! of the 0art# have never to thi! da# een 0u %i!hed. 1t the front I wa! once vi!ited # "en-hin!k#. I had known hi' for a %ong ti'e. In the #ear! of the reaction3 he e%onged to the grou0 of the e/tre'e %eft3 or the (0er#odovi!t!3 a! the# were ca%%ed fro' the na'e of their 0a0er ()ogdanov3 =unachar!k#3 and other!). "en-hin!k# hi'!e%f inc%ined to French $#ndica%i!'. +he (0er#odovi!t! organi-ed a "ar/i!t !choo% in )o%ogna for ten to fifteen ,u!!ian worker! who had co'e over3 in the 9i%%ega%? revo%utionar# fa!hion3 fro' ,u!!ia. +hi! wa! in 1912. For a out two week! I gave a cour!e there on the 0re!!3 and a%!o conducted conference! on Cue!tion! of 0art# tactic!. +here I 'et "en-hin!k#3 who had co'e fro' Pari!. +he i'0re!!ion he 'ade on 'e cou%d e!t e de!cri ed # !a#ing that he 'ade none at a%%. Ae !ee'ed 'ore %ike the !hadow of !o'e other unrea%i-ed 'an3 or rather %ike a 0oor !ketch for an unfini!hed 0ortrait. +here are !uch 0eo0%e. On%# now and then wou%d an ingratiating !'i%e or a !ecret 0%a# of the e#e! etra# hi! eagerne!! to e'erge fro' hi! in!ignificance. I do not know what hi! conduct wa! during the Octo er da#!3 or whether he had an# at a%%. )ut after the !ei-ure of 0ower3 in the hu!t%e< u!t%e of the 0eriod he wa! !ent to the 'ini!tr# of finance. Ae !howed no active enter0ri!e of hi! own3 or rather on%# enough to revea% hi! inco'0etence. =ater on3 8-er-hin!k# took hi' over. 8-er-hin!k# wa! a 'an of tre'endou! wi%%3 0a!!ion3 and high 'ora% ten!ion. Ai! figure do'inated the *he<Ka. L3M No one took an# notice of "en-hin!k#3 !o Cuiet%# toi%ing awa# over hi! 0a0er!. It wa! not unti% 8-er-hin!k#3 toward the end of hi! %ife3 0arted co'0an# with hi! de0ut# Hn!chiicht that he !ugge!ted a00ointing "en-hin!k# to the vacant 0o!t3 not eing a %e to find an#one e%!e. +he 0ro0o!a% cau!ed genera% !ur0ri!e. 9)ut who e%!eE? 8-er-hin!k# !aid3 in e/cu!e. 9+here i! no one.? )ut $ta%in !u00orted "en-hin!k#. $ta%in genera%%# gave hi! !u00ort to 0eo0%e who e/i!ted 0o%itica%%# on%# through the grace of the govern'ent a00aratu!. 1nd !o "en-hin!k# eca'e the true !hadow of $ta%in in the 4PH. 1fter 8-er-hin!k#>! death3 "en-hin!k# eca'e not on%# the head of the 4PH ut a 'e' er of the *entra% *o''ittee a! we%%. +hu! 'a# the !hadow of an unrea%i-ed 'an 0a!! on the ureaucratic !creen for that of a rea% one. +en #ear! ago3 however3 "en-hin!k# tried to find a different or it for hi'!e%f. Ae ca'e to 'e in the train with a re0ort a out the !0ecia% de0art'ent! of the ar'#. 1fter he had fini!hed the officia% vi!it3 he egan to !ta''er and !huff%e a out3 with that ingratiating !'i%e of hi! that 'ake! one fee% a%ar'ed and 0u--%ed at the !a'e ti'e. Ae ended # 0utting a Cue!tion to 'e& 5a! I aware that $ta%in wa! conducting a ver# co'0%icated intrigue again!t 'eE

95hatJ? I !aid in !heer ewi%der'ent B I wa! !o far fro' thought! or a00rehen!ion! of an#thing of the !ort. 9Ye!3 he i! in!inuating to =enin and !o'e other! that #ou are grou0ing 'en a out #ou who are e!0ecia%%# ho!ti%e to =enin.? 9You 'u!t e 'ad3 "en-hin!k#. P%ea!e wake u0. 1nd a! for 'e3 I don>t even want to ta%k a out it.? "en-hin!k# %eft coughing3 with !hou%der! hunched in e' arra!!'ent. 1fter that ver# da# I think he egan to %ook for other fie%d!. 1fter an hour or !o of work3 I egan to fee% a! if !o'ething were the 'atter with 'e. +hi! 'an3 with hi! indi!tinct !0eech3 had di!Cuieted 'e a! !ure%# a! if I had !wa%%owed a 0iece of g%a!! with '# food. I egan to reca%% definite incident!3 cou0%ing the' together3 and there3 efore '# e#e!3 $ta%in e'erged in a new %ight. *on!idera %# %ater3 Kre!tin!k# !aid to 'e of $ta%in& 9Ae i! a ad 'an3 with #e%%ow e#e!.? It wa! thi! #oral yellowness of hi! that f%a!hed through '# 'ind for the fir!t ti'e after "en-hin!k#>! ca%%. 5hen I went to "o!cow %ater for a !hort vi!it3 I went a! u!ua% fir!t to =enin. 5e ta%ked a out the front. =enin %iked concrete detai%! of %ife3 %itt%e fact! and ca!ua% o !ervation! which conducted hi'3 without an# eating around the u!h3 to the heart of thing!. Ae cou%dn>t ear a00roaching rea% %ife at a tangent. =ea0ing over a%% inter'ediate !te0!3 he wou%d 0ut hi! own 0articu%ar Cue!tion!3 and I wou%d an!wer hi'3 a%% the ti'e ad'iring the !ki%% with which he dri%%ed through to the fact!. 5e %aughed. =enin wa! u!ua%%# in a ga# 'ood. Nor wou%d I de!cri e '#!e%f a! a g%oo'# 0er!on. In the end I to%d hi' a out "en-hin!k#>! vi!it at the !outhern front& 9I! it rea%%# 0o!!i %e that there i! an# truth in itE? I a!ked. I noticed that =enin i''ediate%# eca'e e/cited3 and that the %ood ru!hed to hi! face. 91%% trif%e!3? he ke0t re0eating3 a%though not in a ver# convincing wa#. 9I a' intere!ted in knowing on%# one thing3? I !aid. 9*ou%d #ou 0o!!i %# entertain3 if on%# for a 'o'ent3 !uch a horri %e thought a! that I wa! 0icking u0 'en to o00o!e #ouE? 9+rif%e!3? re0%ied =enin3 ut thi! ti'e with a fir'ne!! that in!tant%# rea!!ured 'e. +he %itt%e c%oud that had hung over u! !ee'ed to 'e%t awa#3 and our 0arting wa! unu!ua%%# friend%#. )ut I rea%i-ed that "en-hin!k# wa! not ta%king through hi! hat. If =enin denied it without te%%ing 'e ever#thing3 it wa! on%# ecau!e he wanted to avoid a conf%ict3 a 0er!ona% Cuarre%. In thi! I wa! fu%%# in accord with hi'. )ut $ta%in wa! o viou!%# !owing trou %e. Not unti% 'uch %ater did I rea%i-e how !#!te'atica%%# he had een doing that B a%'o!t nothing ut that. For $ta%in never did an# !eriou! work. 9$ta%in>! fir!t Cua%it# i! %a-ine!!3? )ukharin had once to%d 'e3 9and hi! !econd i! an i'0%aca %e @ea%ou!# of an# one who know! 'ore or doe! thing! etter than he. Ae even tried to dig under I%#ich.?

'otes
1. +he >victorie!> actua%%# had 'ere%# e0i!odic i'0ortance. B ".T.

I. +hi! ar'# of irregu%ar! cru' %ed awa# at a !ing%e %ow !hort%# after3 and revea%ed it! co'0%ete inco'0etence. B ".T. 3. +he 9*hre-v#cha#na#a Ko'i!!ia? (the E/traordinar# *o''i!!ion)3 known in !hort a! the *he<Ka3 0erfor'ed 0o%ice and @udicia% dutie!3 chief%# in connection with the defen!e of the revo%ution. +he function! of the *he<Ka3 after it! reorgani-ation3 have een taken over # the 4PH (the $tate Po%itica% )oard). B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <<<V00

D0)A7!((M('T) &V(! *A! )T!AT(74

In the!e 0age! I a' not recounting the hi!tor# of the ,ed ar'# or of it! att%e!. )oth the!e the'e!3 !o in!e0ara %# ound u0 with the hi!tor# of the revo%ution3 and going far e#ond the !co0e of an auto iogra0h#3 wi%% 0ro a %# 'ake the !u @ect<'atter for another ook. )ut I cannot 0a!! # the 0o%itica%<!trategic di!agree'ent! that !0rang u0 in the 0rogre!! of the civi% war. +he fate of the revo%ution de0ended on the cour!e of 'i%itar# o0eration!. 1! ti'e went on3 the *entra% *o''ittee of the 0art# wa! 'ore and 'ore a !or ed in the 0ro %e'! of war3 a'ong the'3 the Cue!tion! of !trateg#. +he chief co''anding 0o!t! were occu0ied # 'i%itar# e/0ert! of the o%d !choo% who %acked an under!tanding of !ocia% and 0o%itica% condition!. +he e/0erienced revo%utionar# 0o%itician! who co'0ri!ed the *entra% *o''ittee of the 0art# %acked 'i%itar# know%edge. +he !trategic conce0tion! on a %arge !ca%e were u!ua%%# the re!u%t of co%%ective work3 and3 a! a%wa#! in !uch ca!e!3 gave ri!e to di!!en!ion and conf%ict. +here were four in!tance! when the *entra% *o''ittee wa! divided # !trategic di!agree'ent!D in other word!3 there were a! 'an# di!agree'ent! a! there were 'ain front!. Aere I can dea% with the!e on%# ver# rief%#3 'ere%# introducing the reader to the e!!ence of the 0ro %e'! that 0re!ented the'!e%ve! to the 'i%itar# %eader!hi03 and at the !a'e ti'e di!0o!ing3 in 0a!!ing3 of the %ater invention! a out 'e. +he fir!t acute argu'ent in the *entra% *o''ittee took 0%ace in the !u''er of 19193 a0ro0o! of the !ituation on the ea!tern front. +he co''ander<in<chief at the ti'e wa! (at-eti!3 of who' I !0oke in the cha0ter on $vi#a-h!k. I directed '# effort! toward 'aking (at-eti! !ure of hi'!e%f3 of hi! right! and hi! authorit#. 5ithout thi!3 co''and i! i'0o!!i %e. (at-eti!>! 0oint of view wa! that3 after our great !ucce!!e! again!t Ko%chak3 we a !tain fro' ru!hing too far into the Ea!t3 to the other !ide of the Hra%!. Ae wanted the ea!tern front to !ta# at the 'ountain! for the winter.

+hi! wou%d have ena %ed u! to withdraw a few divi!ion! fro' the Ea!t and !witch the' to the $outh3 where 8enikin wa! getting 'ore dangerou!. I !u00orted thi! 0%an. )ut it 'et with rigorou! o00o!ition fro' Ka'enev3 the co''ander of the ea!tern front and a co%one% of the genera% !taff in the *-ar>! ar'#3 a! we%% a! fro' two 'e' er! of the "i%itar# *ounci%3 oth o%d )o%!hevik! B $'i%ga and =a!hevich. +he# in!i!ted that Ko%chak wa! !o far defeated that on%# a few 'en were nece!!ar# to fo%%ow hi'3 and that the 'o!t i'0ortant thing wa! that he e 0revented fro' getting a reathing<!0e%%3 ecau!e in that ca!e he wou%d recover during the winter and we wou%d have to !tart the ea!tern ca'0aign a%% over again in the !0ring. +he entire Cue!tion hinged3 therefore3 on a true e!ti'ate of the condition of Ko%chak>! ar'# and rear. Even then I con!idered the !outhern front far 'ore i'0ortant and dangerou! than the ea!tern. =ater on thi! wa! fu%%# confir'ed. )ut it 0roved to e the co''and of the ea!tern front that wa! right in a00rai!ing Ko%chak>! ar'#. +he *entra% *o''ittee ado0ted a deci!ion again!t the high co''and3 and therefore again!t 'e3 ecau!e I !u00orted (at-eti!3 on the ground that thi! !trategic eCuation had !evera% unknown! in it3 ut that one of the i'0ortant and known Cuantitie! wa! the need of 'aintaining the !ti%% new authorit# of the co''ander<in<chief. +he deci!ion of the *entra% *o''ittee 0roved right. +he ea!tern ar'ie! re%ea!ed !o'e troo0! for the !outhern front and continued3 at the !a'e ti'e3 their advance on the hee%! of Ko%chak into the heart of $i eria. +hi! rought a out a change in the high co''and. (at-eti! wa! di!'i!!ed and Ka'enev 0ut in hi! 0%ace. +he di!agree'ent3 in it!e%f3 wa! of a 0ractica% nature3 and of cour!e had not the !%ighte!t earing on '# re%ation! with =enin. )ut out of the!e !'a%% e0i!odic di!agree'ent! the intrigue wa! weaving it! net!. On 7une T3 19193 $ta%in3 writing fro' the $outh3 wa! tr#ing to !care =enin with the danger! of the 'i%itar# direction. 9+he who%e Cue!tion now i!3? he wrote3 9whether the *entra% *o''ittee can find enough courage to draw the 0ro0er conc%u!ion!. Aa! the *entra% *o''ittee !ufficient character and fir'ne!!E? +he 'eaning of the a ove %ine! i! Cuite o viou!. +heir tone 0rove! that $ta%in had rai!ed the Cue!tion 'ore than once3 and @u!t a! 'an# ti'e! had 'et with =enin>! o00o!ition. I wa! ignorant of a%% thi! at the ti'e. )ut I !en!ed !o'e intrigue afoot. )eing without ti'e or de!ire to go into the 'atter3 I offered '# re!ignation to the *entra% *o''ittee3 !o a! to 'ake an end of it. On 7u%# 53 the *entra% *o''ittee re0%ied a! fo%%ow!& 9+he Organi-ationa% and Po%itica% )ureau of the *entra% *o''ittee3 after con!idering the !tate'ent of *o'rade +rot!k# and di!cu!!ing it in fu%%3 ha! unani'ou!%# co'e to the conc%u!ion that it i! Cuite una %e to acce0t *o'rade +rot!k#>! re!ignation and co'0%# with hi! reCue!t. +he Organi-ationa% and Po%itica% )ureau of the *entra% *o''ittee wi%% do ever#thing in it! 0ower to 'ake the work on the !outhern front3 now the 'o!t difficu%t3 dangerou!3 and !ignificant3 and which *o'rade +rot!k# hi'!e%f ha! cho!en3 'o!t convenient for hi' and 0rofita %e for the ,e0u %ic. In hi! ca0acit# a! 5ar *o''i!!ar and a! *hair'an of the ,evo%utionar# "i%itar# *ounci%3 *o'rade +rot!k# i! fu%%# a %e to act a! a 'e' er of the ,evo%utionar# "i%itar# *ounci% of the !outhern front in co<0eration with the *o''ander of the front3 who' he hi'!e%f 0ro0o!ed and who' the *entra% *o''ittee according%# a00ointed. +he Organi-ationa% and Po%itica% )ureau of the *entra% *o''ittee give *o'rade +rot!k# fu%% 0ower to u!e a%% 'ean! for !ecuring whatever he think! wi%% correct the %ine fro' the 'i%itar# 0oint of view3 and if he wi!he!3 to e/0edite the 0art# congre!!. =ENIN3 K1"ENE(3 K.E$+IN$KY3 K1=ININ3 $E,E),Y1KO(3 $+1=IN3 $+1$O(1.?

+hi! deci!ion carrie! $ta%in>! na'e a'ong the other!. 1%though he wa! carr#ing on an intrigue ehind the !cene!3 and accu!ing =enin of %ack of courage and fir'ne!!3 $ta%in did not have !0irit enough to go into o0en o00o!ition to the *entra% *o''ittee. +he !outhern front3 a! a%read# 'entioned3 a!!u'ed the 0rinci0a% 0%ace in the civi% war. +he ene'#>! force! were co'0o!ed of two inde0endent 0art!& the *o!!ack! B 0articu%ar%# in the 0rovince of Ku an B and the vo%unteer 5hite ar'#3 recruited fro' a%% over the countr#. +he *o!!ack! were an/iou! to defend their order! fro' the on!%aught of the worker! and 0ea!ant!. +he vo%unteer ar'# wa! an/iou! to ca0ture "o!cow. +he!e two intere!t! 'erged on%# !o %ong a! the vo%unteer! for'ed a co''on front with the Ku an *o!!ack! in the northern *auca!u!. )ut 8enikin found it ver# difficu%t3 and in fact i'0o!!i %e3 to ring the *o!!ack! out of their 0rovince of Ku an. Our high co''and a00roached the 0ro %e' of the !outhern front a! one of a !tract !trateg#3 ignoring it! !ocia% a!i!. +he Ku an 0rovince wa! the chief a!e of the vo%unteer!. +he high co''and3 therefore3 decided to de%iver the deci!ive %ow at that a!e fro' the (o%ga. It rea!oned& =et 8enikin ru!h on and tr# to reach "o!cow at the head of hi! ar'ie!D in the 'eanti'e3 we wi%% !wee0 awa# hi! Ku an a!e ehind hi! ackD then 8enikin wi%% e !u!0ended in the air and we wi%% catch hi' arehanded. +hat wa! the genera% !trategic !che'e. Aad thi! not een a civi% war3 the 0%an wou%d have een correct. )ut in it! a00%ication to the rea% !outhern front3 the 0%an 0roved to e 'ere%# a theoretica% one3 and great%# he%0ed the ene'#. 5herea! 8enikin had fai%ed to 0er!uade the *o!!ack! to a %ong 'arching ca'0aign again!t the north3 he now wa! he%0ed # our !triking at the *o!!ack ne!t! fro' the !outh. 1fter thi!3 the *o!!ack! cou%d no %onger defend the'!e%ve! on their own %andD we had our!e%ve! ound u0 their fate with that of the vo%unteer ar'#. In !0ite of the carefu% 0re0aration for our o0eration! and the concentration of force! and technica% 'ean!3 we had no !ucce!!. +he *o!!ack! for'ed a for'ida %e u%wark in 8enikin>! rear. +he# !ee'ed to e rooted to their %and3 and he%d on with their c%aw! and teeth. Our offen!ive 0ut the who%e *o!!ack 0o0u%ation on their feet. 5e were e/0ending our ti'e and energ# and 'anaging on%# to drive a%% tho!e ca0a %e of earing ar'! direct%# into the 5hite ar'#. In the 'eanti'e3 8enikin !we0t the Hkraine3 fi%%ed hi! rank!3 advanced toward the north3 took Kur!k and Or#o%3 and wa! threatening +u%a. +he !urrender of +u%a wou%d have een a cata!tro0he3 ecau!e it wou%d have invo%ved the %o!! of the rif%e and cartridge 'anufacturing 0%ant!. +he 0%an that I advocated fro' the out!et wa! e/act%# the o00o!ite. I de'anded that with our fir!t %ow we cut the vo%unteer! off fro' the *o!!ack!3 and3 %eaving the *o!!ack! to the'!e%ve!3 concentrate a%% our !trength again!t the vo%unteer!. +he 'ain direction of the %ow3 according to thi! 0%an3 wou%d e not fro' the (o%ga toward Ku an3 ut fro' (orone-h toward Kharkoff and the 8on#et!k region. In thi! !ection of the countr# which divide! the northern *auca!u! fro' the Hkraine3 the 0ea!ant! and worker! were who%%# on the !ide of the ,ed ar'#. 1dvancing in thi! direction3 the ,ed ar'# wou%d have een 'oving %ike a knife through utter. +he *o!!ack! wou%d have re'ained in their 0%ace! to guard their order! fro' !tranger!3 ut we wou%d not have touched the'. +he Cue!tion of the *o!!ack! wou%d have een an inde0endent one3 'ore 0o%itica% than 'i%itar# in nature. )ut it wa! nece!!ar# in the fir!t 0%ace to !e0arate thi! a! !trateg# fro' the routing of the vo%unteer ar'# of 8enikin. In the end3 it wa! thi! 0%an that wa! eventua%%# ado0ted3 ut not efore 8enikin had egun to threaten +u%a3 who!e %o!! wou%d have een 'ore dangerou! than that of "o!cow. 5e wa!ted !evera% 'onth!3 !uffered 'an# need%e!! %o!!e! and %ived through !o'e ver# 'enacing week!.

In 0a!!ing3 I !hou%d %ike to 0oint out that the !trategic di!agree'ent! a out the !outhern front were 'o!t c%o!e%# re%ated to the Cue!tion of the a00reciation or 9under<a00reciation? of the 0ea!antr#. I ui%t '# 0%an on the re%ation! of the 0ea!ant! and worker! on the one !ide and the *o!!ack! on the other3 and on thi! %ine of argu'ent I o00o!ed '# own 0%an to the acade'ic !che'e of the high co''and3 which 'et with !u00ort fro' the 'a@orit# of the *entra% *o''ittee. If I had !0ent a thou!andth 0art of the effort u!ed to 0rove '# 9under<a00reciation? of the 0ea!antr#3 I cou%d have ui%t u0 @u!t a! a !urd an accu!ation3 not on%# again!t 6inoviev3 $ta%in and the re!t3 ut again!t =enin a! we%%3 on the a!i! of our di!agree'ent over the !outhern front. +he third conf%ict of a !trategic nature aro!e in connection with Yudenich>! offen!ive again!t Petrograd. +hi! incident wa! de!cri ed in an ear%ier cha0ter3 and need not e gone over again. I wi%% add on%# that3 inf%uenced # the ver# !eriou! !ituation in the $outh3 fro' which the chief 'enace wa! directed3 and inf%uenced a%!o # the re0ort! fro' Petrograd of the e/traordinar# technica% eCui0'ent of Yudenich>! ar'#3 =enin egan to e%ieve that it wa! nece!!ar# to !horten the front %ine # !urrendering Petrograd. +hi! wa! 0ro a %# the on%# occa!ion when 6inoviev and $ta%in !u00orted 'e again!t =eninD and he hi'!e%f a andoned hi! o viou!%# 'i!taken 0%an a few da#! %ater. +he %a!t di!agree'ent3 and undou ted%# the 'o!t vio%ent of a%%3 had to do with the fate of the Po%i!h front in the !u''er of 19I2. )onar =aw3 then the )riti!h Pre'ier3 in the Aou!e of *o''on! Cuoted '# %etter to the French co''uni!t! a! 0roof of our intention of cru!hing Po%and in the fa%% of 19I2. 1 !i'i%ar a!!ertion i! to e found in a ook # the %ate Po%i!h war 'ini!ter3 $ikor!k#3 ut thi! ti'e it i! !u00orted # a reference to '# !0eech at the Internationa% congre!! in 7anuar#3 19I2. 1%% thi! i! !heer drive% fro' eginning to end. Of cour!e3 I never had an occa!ion to e/0re!! '# !#'0ath# with the Po%and of Pi%!ud!kiD that i!3 a Po%and of o00re!!ion and re0re!!ion under a c%oak of 0atriotic 0hra!eo%og# and heroic raggadocio. It wou%d e ea!# to 0ick out a nu' er of '# !tate'ent! to the effect that3 in the event that war wa! forced on u! # Pi%!ud!ki3 we wou%d tr# not to !to0 ha%f<wa#. $uch !tate'ent! were the re!u%t of the entire !etting. )ut to draw the conc%u!ion fro' thi! that we wanted a war with Po%and3 or were even 0re0aring it3 i! to %ie in the face of fact! and co''on !en!e. *e strained e(ery e%%ort to a(oid that war. 5e !0ared no 'ea!ure to achieve thi! end. $ikor!k# ad'it! that we conducted 0eace 0ro0aganda with e/traordinar# 9c%everne!!.? Ae doe! not under!tand3 or 0retend! that he doe! not3 that the !ecret of that c%everne!! wa! ver# !i'0%e& it wa! 'ere%# that we were tr#ing with a%% our 'ight to !ecure 0eace3 even at the 0rice of the greate!t conce!!ion!. Even 'ore 0erha0! than an# one e%!e3 I did not want thi! war3 ecau!e I rea%i-ed on%# too c%ear%# how difficu%t it wou%d e to 0ro!ecute it after three #ear! of continuou! civi% war. +he Po%i!h govern'ent3 a! $ikor!k#>! ook 'ake! c%ear3 con!ciou!%# and deter'ined%# egan the war in !0ite of our indefatiga %e effort! to 0re!erve 0eace3 effort! that 'ade of our foreign 0o%ic# a co' ination of 0atience and 0edagogica% 0er!i!tence. 5e !incere%# wanted 0eace. Pi%!ud!ki i'0o!ed war on u!. 5e cou%d wage it on%# ecau!e the great 'a!! of the 0eo0%e had een watching our di0%o'atic due% continuou!%#3 and were thorough%# convinced that the war had een forced on u!D in thi! the# were a !o%ute%# right. +he countr# 'ade one 'ore tru%# heroic effort. +he ca0ture of Kiev # the Po%e!3 in it!e%f devoid of an# 'i%itar# !ignificance3 did u! a great !erviceD it awakened the countr#. 1gain I had to 'ake

the round! of ar'ie! and citie!3 'o i%i-ing 'en and re !ource!. 5e reca0tured Kiev. +hen our !ucce!!e! egan. +he Po%e! were ro%%ed ack with a ce%erit# I never antici0ated3 !ince I cou%d hard%# e%ieve the foo%hardine!! that actua%%# %a# at the otto' of Pi%!ud!ki>! ca'0aign. )ut on our !ide3 too3 after our fir!t 'a@or !ucce!!e!3 the idea of the 0o!!i i%itie! that were o0ened to u! eca'e great%# e/aggerated. 1 0oint of view that the war which egan a! one of defen!e !hou%d e turned into an offen!ive and revo%utionar# war egan to grow and acCuire !trength. In 0rinci0%e3 of cour!e3 I cou%d not 0o!!i %# have an# o @ection to !uch a cour!e. +he Cue!tion wa! !i'0%# one of the corre%ation of force!. +he unknown Cuantit# wa! the attitude of the Po%i!h worker! and 0ea!ant!. $o'e of our Po%i!h co'rade!3 !uch a! the %ate 7. "arkh%ev!k# LEM3 a co< worker of ,o!a =u/e' urg>!3 weighed the !ituation ver# !o er%#. +he for'er>! e!ti'ation wa! an i'0ortant factor in '# de!ire to get out of the war a! Cuick%# a! 0o!!i %e. )ut there were other voice!3 too. +here were high ho0e! of an u0ri!ing of the Po%i!h worker!. 1t an# rate3 =enin fi/ed hi! 'ind on carr#ing the war to an end3 u0 to the entr# into 5ar!aw to he%0 the Po%i!h worker! overthrow Pi%!ud!ki>! govern'ent and !ei-e the 0ower. +he a00arent deci!ion # the govern'ent ea!i%# ca0tured the i'agination of the high co''and and of the co''and of the we!tern front. )# the ti'e I 0aid '# regu%ar vi!it to "o!cow3 I found o0inion !trong%# in favor of carr#ing on the war 9unti% the end.? +o thi! I wa! re!o%ute%# o00o!ed. +he Po%e! were a%read# a!king for 0eace. I thought that we had reached the 0eak of our !ucce!!e!3 and if we went farther3 'i!@udging our !trength3 we wou%d run the ri!k of 0a!!ing e#ond the victor# a%read# won to a defeat. 1fter the terrific effort that ena %ed the Fourth ar'# to cover Q22 ki%o'etre! in five week!3 it cou%d 'ove forward on%# through inertia. Ever#thing hung on the nerve!3 and the!e were ut thin thread!. One !trong %ow wou%d have een enough to !hake our front and turn our un0recedented and une/a'0%ed offen!ive thru!t B even Foch wa! o %iged to ad'it thi! B into a defeat that wou%d e a cata!tro0he. I de'anded an i''ediate conc%u!ion of 0eace3 efore the ar'# !hou%d grow too e/hau!ted. I wa! !u00orted3 a! far a! I can re'e' er now3 on%# # ,#kov. 1%% the re!t were won over # =enin during '# a !ence. +hu! it wa! decided to continue the offen!ive. In contra!t with the )re!t<=itov!k 0eriod3 the ro%e! had een co'0%ete%# rever!ed. Then it wa! I who de'anded that the !igning of the 0eace e de%a#edD that even at the 0rice of %o!ing !o'e territor#3 we give the 4er'an 0ro%etariat ti'e to under!tand the !ituation and get in it! word. Now it wa! =enin who de'anded that our ar'# continue it! advance and give the Po%i!h 0ro%etariat ti'e to a00rai!e the !ituation and ri!e u0 in ar'!. +he Po%i!h war confir'ed fro' the o00o!ite !ide what wa! de'on!trated # the )re!t<=itov!k war& that the event! of war and tho!e of the revo%utionar# 'a!! 'ove'ent are 'ea!ured # different #ard!tick!. 5here the action of ar'ie! i! 'ea!ured # da#! and week!3 the 'ove'ent of the 'a!!e! of 0eo0%e i! u!ua%%# reckoned in 'onth! and #ear!. If thi! difference in te'0o i! not taken fu%%# into account3 the gear! of war wi%% on%# reak the teeth of the revo%utionar# gear!3 in!tead of !etting the' in 'otion. 1t an# rate3 that i! what ha00ened in the !hort )re!t<=itov!k war3 and in the great Po%i!h war. 5e 0a!!ed over and e#ond our own victor# to a heav# defeat. One 'u!t note that one of the rea!on! for the e/traordinar# 0ro0ortion! which the cata!tro0he efore 5ar!aw a!!u'ed wa! the conduct of the co''and of the !outhern grou0 of the $oviet ar'ie!3 o0erating in the direction of =vov (=e' erg). +he chief 0o%itica% figure in the ,evo%utionar# "i%itar# *ounci% of thi! grou0 wa! $ta%in. $ta%in wanted3 at whatever co!t3 to enter

=vov at the !a'e ti'e that $'i%ga and +ukhachev!k# entered 5ar!aw. $o'e 0eo0%e are ca0a %e of having even !uch a' ition!. 5hen the danger to the ar'ie! under +ukhachev!k# wa! fu%%# revea%ed3 and the high co''and ordered the !outhwe!tern ar'ie! to change the direction of their advance !o a! to !trike at the f%ank of the Po%i!h ar'ie! efore 5ar!aw3 the !outhwe!tern co''and3 encouraged # $ta%in3 continued advancing due we!tD for wa! it not 'ore i'0ortant that the# !hou%d the'!e%ve! ca0ture =vov than that the# !hou%d he%0 9other!? to take 5ar!awE On%# after re0eated order! and threat! did the !outhwe!tern co''and change the direction of it! advance. )ut the few da#! of de%a# had a%read# had their fata% effect. Our ar'ie! were ro%%ed ack four hundred or 'ore ki%'etre!. 1fter the ri%%iant victorie! of the da# efore3 no one wou%d e reconci%ed to the !ituation. On '# return fro' the 5range% front3 I found "o!cow favoring a !econd Po%i!h war. Now3 even ,#kov went over to the other ca'0. 9Once !tarted3? he wa! !a#ing3 9we 'u!t carr# it through to the end.? +he co''and of the we!tern front wa! encouraging ho0e!D !ufficient re!erve! had co'e u03 the arti%%er# had een re0%eni!hed3 and !o on and !o forth. +he wi!h wa! father to the thought. 95hat have we on the we!tern frontE? I re@oined. 9On%# 'ora%%# defeated unit! into which we have now 0oured raw hu'an dough. One can>t fight with !uch an ar'#. Or to e 'ore e/act3 with an ar'# %ike thi! one 'ight e a %e to engage in defen!ive o0eration! whi%e retreating and 0re0aring a new ar'# in the rearD ut it wou%d e !en!e%e!! to think that !uch an ar'# i! ca0a %e of rai!ing it!e%f to a victoriou! advance a%ong a road !trewn with it! own frag'ent!.? I dec%ared that a re0etition of the error a%read# co''itted wou%d co!t u! ten ti'e! a! 'uch3 and that I wou%d not !u 'it to the deci!ion that wa! eing 0ro0o!ed3 ut wou%d carr# an a00ea% to the 0art#. +hough =enin for'a%%# defended the continuation of the war3 thi! ti'e he did it without hi! for'er conviction and in!i!tence. "# fir' e%ief in the nece!!it# of conc%uding 0eace3 even if it were a har!h one3 'ade it! i'0re!!ion on =enin. Ae 0ro0o!ed that we 0ut off deciding the Cue!tion unti% I cou%d vi!it the we!tern front and get a direct i'0re!!ion of the condition of our ar'ie! after the retreat. +o 'e3 thi! 'eant that =enin wa! a%read# with 'e. I found the headCuarter! at the front in favor of another war. )ut there wa! no conviction thereD it wa! !i'0%# a ref%ection of the attitude in "o!cow. +he %ower I went on the 'i%itar# %adder B fro' an ar'# to a divi!ion3 a regi'ent3 a co'0an# B the 'ore I rea%i-ed the i'0o!!i i%it# of an offen!ive war. I !ent =enin a %etter a out it3 writing it in %onghand3 without even kee0ing a co0# of it3 whi%e I went on with '# round of in!0ection. +he two or three da#! that I !0ent at the front were enough to confir' the conc%u!ion I had rought with 'e fro' "o!cow. I returned there3 and the Po%it ureau a%'o!t unani'ou!%# re!o%ved in favor of an i''ediate 0eace. +he error in the !trategic ca%cu%ation! in the Po%i!h war had great hi!torica% con!eCuence!. +he Po%and of Pi%!ud!ki ca'e out of the war une/0ected%# !trengthened. On the contrar#3 the deve%o0'ent of the Po%i!h revo%ution received a cru!hing %ow. +he frontier e!ta %i!hed # the ,iga treat# cut off the $oviet ,e0u %ic fro' 4er'an#3 a fact that %ater wa! of great i'0ortance in the %ive! of oth countrie!. =enin3 of cour!e3 under!tood etter than an# one e%!e the !ignificance of the 95ar!aw? 'i!take3 and returned to it 'ore than once in thought and word. In the %iterature of the e0igone!3 =enin i! now 0ictured in !o'ewhat the !a'e %ight that the ikon 0ainter! of $u-da% re0re!ent *hri!t and the !aint!& in!tead of an idea% i'age3 #ou get a caricature "uch a! the ikon 0ainter! tr# to ri!e a ove the' !e%ve!3 in the end the# ref%ect on%# their own

ta!te!3 and a! a re!u%t the# 'u!t 0aint their own idea%i-ed 0ortrait!. 1! the authorit# of the e0igone %eader!hi0 i! 'aintained # for idding 0eo0%e to dou t it! infa%%i i%it#3 !o =enin i! re0re!ented in the e0igone %iterature not a! a revo%utionar# !trategi!t who !howed geniu! in hi! a00reciation of the !ituation3 ut a! a 'echanica% auto'aton of fau%t%e!! deci!ion!. +he word genius in re%ation to =enin wa! fir!t a00%ied # 'e3 at a ti'e when other! did not have the courage to 0ronounce it. Ye!3 =enin wa! a! 'uch of a geniu! a! a 'an can e. )ut he wa! not an auto'atic reckoning 'achine that 'ake! no 'i!take!. Ae 'ade the' %e!! often than an# one e%!e in hi! 0o!ition wou%dD ut he 'ade the' a%% the !a'e3 and grave one!3 at that3 in accord with the titanic !co0e of a%% of hi! work.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <<<V000

T3( T!A')0T0&' T& T3( '(* (%&'&M0% P&L0%4A'D M4 !(LAT0&') *0T3 L('0'
Now I a' a00roaching the %a!t 0eriod of '# co%%a oration with =enin3 a 0eriod deriving further i'0ortance fro' the fact that it contained the foundation! of the !u !eCuent victor# of the e0igone!. 1fter the death of =enin3 a co'0%icated and 'an#< ranched organi-ation of an hi!torica% and %iterar# nature wa! e!ta %i!hed for the !o%e 0ur0o!e of di!torting the hi!tor# of our 'utua% re%ation!. It ha! een done chief%# # 0ainting a 0icture of a con!tant !trugg%e etween two 90rinci0%e!3? # i!o%ating fro' the 0a!t the 'o'ent! when we di!agreed3 # 'aking a great dea% out of individua% 0o%e'ica% e/0re!!ion!3 and 'o!t of a%%3 # !heer invention. +he hi!tor# of the church a! written down # the 'edieva% a0o%ogi!t! i! a 'ode% of !cientific treat'ent co'0ared with the hi!torica% inve!tigation! of the e0igone!. +heir work wa! !o'ewhat faci%itated # the fact that when I di!agreed with =enin3 I 'entioned it a%oud3 and3 when I thought it nece!!ar#3 even a00ea%ed to the 0art#. 5herea! the e0igone!3 when the# di!agreed with =enin3 which ha00ened 'uch 'ore often than in '# ca!e3 u!ua%%# either ke0t !i%ent a out it3 or3 %ike $ta%in3 !u%ked and hid awa# for a few da#! in the countr#3 !o'ewhere near "o!cow. In 'o!t ca!e!3 the deci!ion! that =enin and I arrived at inde0endent%# of each other were identica% in a%% e!!entia%!. 1 few word! wou%d ring a out a 'utua% under!tanding. 5hen I thought the deci!ion of the Po%it ureau or of the $oviet of Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie! 'ight turn out wrong3 I wou%d !end =enin a rief note on a !%i0 of 0a0er. Ae wou%d an!wer& 91 !o%ute%# right. $u 'it #our 0ro0o!a%.? $o'eti'e! he wou%d !end 'e an inCuir# whether I agreed with hi! 0ro0o!a%3 and a de'and that I !0eak in hi! !u00ort. +i'e and again he wou%d arrange with 'e # te%e0hone the 'anner in which !o'e 'atter wa! to e hand%ed3 and if it wa! i'0ortant he wou%d in!i!t& 9P%ea!e co'e without fa%%.? In ca!e! where we worked hand in hand B the u!ua% thing with

u! on Cue!tion! of 0rinci0%e B tho!e who were di!!ati!fied with the deci!ion3 a'ong the' the 0re!ent e0igone!3 re'ained !i%ent. "an# a ti'e $ta%in3 6inoviev3 or Ka'enev di!agreed with 'e on !o'e Cue!tion of great i'0ortance3 ut a! !oon a! the# %earned that =enin !hared '# o0inion the# %a0!ed into !i%ence. 5e 'a# regard the readine!! of the 9di!ci0%e!? to renounce their own idea! in favor of =enin>! in an# wa# we choo!e3 ut thi! readine!! c%ear%# contained no guarantee that without =enin the# were ca0a %e of arriving at the !a'e conc%u!ion!. In thi! ook '# di!agree'ent! with =enin a!!u'e an i'0ortance that the# never actua%%# had. +here are two rea!on! for thi!& our di!agree'ent! were the e/ce0tion and a! !uch attracted attentionD after =enin>! death the# were 'agnified # the e0igone! to a!trono'ic 0ro0ortion! and eca'e an inde0endent 0o%itica% factor in no wa# connected with either of u!. In a !e0arate cha0ter3 I gave a detai%ed account of '# di!agree'ent! with =enin in regard to the )re!t<=itov!k 0eace. Now I wi%% 'ention another di!agree'ent that !et u! again!t each other for a cou0%e of 'onth! at the c%o!e of 19I23 on the ver# eve of the tran!ition to the New Econo'ic Po%ic#. One cannot den# that the !o<ca%%ed di!cu!!ion of trade!<union! c%ouded our re%ation!hi0 for !o'e ti'e. Each of u! wa! too 'uch the revo%utionar# and too 'uch the 0o%itician to e a %e or even to want to !e0arate the 0er!ona% fro' the genera%. It wa! during that di!cu!!ion that $ta%in and 6inoviev were given what one 'ight ca%% their %ega% o00ortunit# to ring their !trugg%e again!t 'e out into the o0en. +he# !trained ever# effort to take fu%% advantage of the !ituation. It wa! for the' a rehear!a% of their future ca'0aign again!t 9+rot!k#i!'.? )ut it wa! @u!t thi! a!0ect of the thing that di!tur ed =enin 'o!t3 and he tried in ever# wa# to 0ara%#-e it. +he 0o%itica% content of the di!cu!!ion ha! had !o 'uch refu!e hea0ed u0on it that I do not env# the hi!torian of the future who trie! to get to the truth of the 'atter. =ong after the event3 that i!3 after =enin died3 the e0igone! di!covered that '# !tand at that ti'e wa! one of 9under B a00reciation of the 0ea!antr#3? and one a%'o!t ho!ti%e toward the New Econo'ic Po%ic#. +hi! wa! rea%%# the a!i! of a%% the !u !eCuent attack! on 'e. In 0oint of fact3 of cour!e3 the root! of the di!cu!!ion were Cuite the o00o!ite3 and to un'a!k thi! fact3 I 'u!t go ack a %itt%e wa#. In the fa%% of 19193 when Q2a of our %oco'otive! were 9di!ea!ed3? it wa! thought that # the !0ring of 19I2 the figure wou%d inevita %# ri!e to ;5a. +hat wa! the e/0re!!ed o0inion of our e!t e/0ert!. Hnder !uch condition!3 the rai%wa# traffic wa! e co'ing a !en!e%e!! affair3 ecau!e the I5a of %oco'otive! in ha%f<hea%th wa! on%# enough for the tran!0ort need! of the rai%wa#!3 !ince the# de0ended on u%k# wood for fue%. Engineer =o'ono!ov3 who wa! actua%%# in charge of the tran!0ort !#!te' during tho!e 'onth!3 'ade a diagra' of the %oco'otive e0ide'ic for the govern'ent. Indicating a 'athe'atica% 0oint in the #ear19I23 he dec%ared& 9Aere co'e! death.? 95hat i! to e done thenE? a!ked =enin. 9+here are no !uch thing! a! 'irac%e!3? =o'ono!ov re0%ied. 9Even the )o%!hevik! cannot 0erfor' 'irac%e!.? 5e %ooked at each other3 a%% the 'ore de0re!!ed ecau!e none of u! knew the technica% working! of the tran!0ort !#!te'3 nor the technica% working! of !uch g%oo'# ca%cu%ation!. 9$ti%%3 we>%% tr# to 0erfor' the 'irac%e3? =enin 'uttered dr#%# through hi! teeth.

)ut during the fo%%owing 'onth! the !ituation grew !teadi%# wor!e. +here wa! cau!e enough in actua% condition!3 ut it i! a%!o ver# 0ro a %e that certain engineer! were 'aking the tran!0ort !ituation fit into their diagra'!. I !0ent the winter 'onth! of 1919<I2 in the Hra%! directing the econo'ic work. =enin te%egra0hed 'e a 0ro0o!a% that I take charge of tran!0ort and tr# to %ift it # e'ergenc# 'ea!ure!. I re0%ied !tating '# acce0tance. Fro' the Hra%! I rought with 'e a !tore of econo'ic o !ervation! that cou%d e !u''ed u0 in one genera% conc%u!ion& war co''uni!' 'u!t e a andoned. "# 0ractica% work had !ati!fied 'e that the 'ethod! of war co''uni!' forced on u! # the condition! of civi% war were co'0%ete%# e/hau!ted3 and that to revive our econo'ic %ife the e%e'ent of 0er!ona% intere!t 'u!t e introduced at a%% co!t!D in other word!3 we had to re!tore the ho'e 'arket in !o'e degree. I !u 'itted to the *entra% *o''ittee the 0ro@ect of re0%acing the food %ev# # a grain<ta/ and of re!toring the e/change of co''oditie!. 9+he 0re!ent 0o%ic# of eCua%i-ed reCui!ition according to the food !ca%e3 of 'utua% re!0on!i i%it# for de%iverie!3 and of eCua%i-ed di!tri ution of 'anufactured 0roduct!3 tend! to %ower the $tatu! of agricu%ture and to di!0er!e the indu!tria% 0ro%etariat3 and threaten! to ring a out a co'0%ete reakdown in the econo'ic %ife of the countr#.? In the!e word!3 I for'u%ated '# view in the !tate'ent !u 'itted to the *entra% *o''ittee in Fe ruar#3 19I2. 9+he food re!ource!3? the !tate'ent continued3 9are threatened with e/hau!tion3 a contingenc# that no a'ount of i'0rove'ent ' the 'ethod! of reCui!ition can 0revent. +he!e tendencie! toward econo'ic dec%ine can e counteracted a! fo%%ow!& (1) +he reCui!ition of !ur0%u!e! !hou%d give wa# to 0a#'ent on a 0ercentage a!i! (a !ort of 0rogre!!ive inco'e ta/ in kind)3 the !ca%e of 0a#'ent eing fi/ed in !uch a wa# a! to 'ake an increa!e of the 0%oughed area3 or a 'ore thorough cu%tivation3 !ti%% #ie%d !o'e 0rofitD (I) a c%o!er corre!0ondence !hou%d e e!ta %i!hed etween the indu!tria% 0roduct! !u00%ied to the 0ea!ant! and the Cuantitie! of grain the# de%iverD thi! a00%ie! not on%# to rura% di!trict! ((olosts) and vi%%age!3 ut to the individua% 0ea!ant hou!eho%d!3 a! we%%.? +he!e 0ro0o!a%! are ver# guarded. )ut the a!ic 0ro0o!ition! of the New Econo'ic Po%ic# ado0ted a #ear %ater did not at fir!t go an# farther. Ear%# in 19I23 =enin ca'e out fir'%# again!t '# 0ro0o!a%. It wa! re@ected in the *entra% *o''ittee # a vote of e%even to four. +he !u !eCuent cour!e of event! 0roved the deci!ion of the *o''ittee to e a 'i!take. I did not carr# it to the 0art# congre!!3 which wa! conducted throughout under the !%ogan of war co''uni!'. For the entire #ear fo%%owing3 the econo'ic %ife of the countr# !trugg%ed a%ong in a %ind a%%e#. "# Cuarre% with =enin grew out of thi! %ind a%%e#. 5hen the change to the 'arket !#!te' wa! re@ected3 I de'anded that the 9war? 'ethod! e a00%ied 0ro0er%# and with !#!te'3 !o that rea% econo'ic i'0rove'ent! cou%d e o tained. In the !#!te' of war co''uni!' in which a%% the re!ource! are3 at %ea!t in 0rinci0%e3 nationa%i-ed and di!tri uted # govern'ent order3 I !aw no inde0endent ro%e for trade!<union!. If indu!tr# re!t! on the !tate>! in!uring the !u00%# of a%% the nece!!ar# 0roduct! to the worker!3 the trade!<union! 'u!t e inc%uded in the !#!te' of the !tate>! ad'ini!tration of indu!tr# and di!tri ution of 0roduct!. +hi! wa! the rea% !u !tance of the Cue!tion of 'aking the trade!<union! 0art of the !tate organi-ation!3 a 'ea!ure which f%owed ine/ora %# fro' the !#!te' of war co''uni!'3 and it wa! in thi! !en!e that I defended it.

+he 0rinci0%e! of war co''uni!' a00roved # the ninth congre!! were the a!i! of '# work in the organi-ation of tran!0ort. +he trade<union of rai%wa# 'en wa! c%o!e%# ound to the ad'ini!trative 'achiner# of the de0art'ent. +he 'ethod! of 'i%itar# di!ci0%ine were e/tended to the entire tran!0ort !#!te'. I rought the 'i%itar# ad'ini!tration3 the !tronge!t and e!t di!ci0%ined at that ti'e3 into c%o!e connection with the tran!0ort ad'ini!tration. +hi! #ie%ded certain i'0ortant advantage!3 e!0ecia%%# !ince 'i%itar# tran!0ort again a!!u'ed fir!t i'0ortance with the eginning of war with Po%and. Ever# da# I went fro' the war co''i!!ariat3 who!e o0eration! de!tro#ed the rai%wa#!3 to the co''i!!ariat of tran!0ort3 where I tried not on%# to !ave the rai%wa#! fro' fina% co%%a0!e3 ut to rai!e the' to a higher %eve% of efficienc#. +he #ear of work in tran!0ort wa! a #ear in !choo% for 'e. 1%% the funda'enta% Cue!tion! of !ocia%i!t organi-ation of econo'ic %ife found their 'o!t concentrated e/0re!!ion in the !0here of tran!0ort. +he great variet# in the t#0e! of %oco'otive! and car! co'0%icated the work of the rai%wa#! and the re0air<!ho0!. E/ten!ive 0re0arator# work wa! !et on foot to !tandardi-e the tran!0ort !#!te'3 which3 efore the revo%ution3 had een con tro%%ed eCua%%# # the !tate and # 0rivate co'0anie!. =oco'otive! were grou0ed according to c%a!!3 their re0air wa! 'ore !#!te'atica%%# organi-ed3 and the re0air<!ho0! egan to receive 0reci!e order! a!ed on their technica% eCui0'ent. +he 0rogra''e for ringing the tran!0ort u0 to the 0re<war !tandard wa! to e carried out in four and a ha%f #ear!. +he 'ea!ure! ado0ted were a 0ronounced !ucce!!. In the !0ring and !u''er of 19I23 the tran!0ort !#!te' egan to recover fro' it! 0ara%#!i!. =enin never 'i!!ed an occa!ion to re'ark the re!toration of the rai%wa#!. If the war !tarted # Pi%!ud!ki in the ho0e that our tran!0ort !#!te' wou%d co%%a0!e fai%ed to #ie%d Po%and the e/0ected re!u%t3 it wa! ecau!e the curve of rai%wa# tran!0ort had egun to ri!e !teadi%# u0ward. +ho!e re!u%t! were o tained # e/traordinar# ad'ini!trative 'ea!ure! 0roceeding inevita %# fro' the !eriou! 0o!ition of the tran!0ort !#!te' a! we%% a! fro' the !#!te' of war co''uni!' it!e%f. )ut the working 'a!!e!3 who had gone through three #ear! of civi% war3 were 'ore and 'ore di!inc%ined to !u 'it to the wa#! of 'i%itar# ru%e. 5ith hi! unerring 0o%itica% in!tinct3 =enin !en!ed that the critica% 'o'ent had arrived. 5herea! I wa! tr#ing to get an ever 'ore inten!ive effort fro' the trade!<union!3 taking '# !tand on 0ure%# econo'ic con!ideration! on the a!i! of war co''uni!'3 =enin3 guided # 0o%itica% con!ideration!3 wa! 'oving toward an ea!ing of the 'i%itar# 0re!!ure. On the eve of the tenth congre!!3 our %ine! cro!!ed antagoni!tica%%#. 1 di!cu!!ion f%ared u0 in the 0art#D it wa! actua%%# e!ide the 0oint. +he 0art# wa! con!idering the rate at which the trade!<union! were to e converted into a 0art of the !tate 'echani!'3 where a! the Cue!tion at i!!ue wa! rea%%# one of dai%# read3 of fue%3 of raw 'ateria% for the indu!trie!. +he 0art# wa! arguing feveri!hi# a out 9the !choo% of co''uni!'3? wherea! the thing that rea%%# 'attered wa! the econo'ic cata!tro0he hanging over the countr#. +he u0ri!ing! at Kron!tadt and in the 0rovince of +a' ov roke into the di!cu!!ion a! the %a!t warning. =enin !ha0ed the fir!t and ver# guarded the!e! on the change to the New Econo'ic Po%ic#. I !u !cri ed to the' at once. For 'e3 the# were 'ere%# a renewa% of the 0ro0o!a%! which I had introduced a #ear efore. +he di!0ute a out the trade!<union! in!tant%# %o!t a%% !ignificance. 1t the congre!!3 =enin took no 0art in that di!0ute3 and %eft 6inoviev to a'u!e hi'!e%f with the !he%% of an e/0%oded cartridge. 8uring the de ate at the congre!!3 I gave warning that the re!o%ution on trade!<union! ado0ted # the 'a@orit# wou%d not %ive unti% the ne/t congre!!3 ecau!e the new econo'ic orientation wou%d de'and a co'0%ete revi!ion of the trade!<union !trateg#. 1nd it wa! on%# a few 'onth! %ater that =enin for'u%ated entire%# new 0rinci0%e! on the ro%e and 0ur0o!e of trade!<union!3 a!ed on the

new econo'ic 0o%ic#. I e/0re!!ed '# unre!erved a00rova% of hi! re!o%ution. Our !o%id front wa! re!tored. =enin wa! afraid that a! a re!u%t of the di!cu!!ion3 which had %a!ted two 'onth!3 0er'anent faction! wou%d e e!ta %i!hed in the 0art#3 e' ittering re%ation!hi0! and 'aking the work 'uch 'ore difficu%t. )ut I wound u0 a%% conference! with tho!e who !hared '# view on the Cue!tion of trade!<union! whi%e the congre!! wa! !ti%% in !e!!ion. 1 few week! after the congre!!3 =enin wa! a!!ured that I wa! a! an/iou! a! he to do awa# with the te'0orar# faction!3 which no %onger had an# a!i! in 0rinci0%e. =enin fe%t a! if a weight had een %ifted fro' hi! che!t. Ae took advantage of !o'e i'0udent re'ark that "o%otov3 who had @u!t een e%ected to the *entra% *o''ittee3 ai'ed at 'e3 to charge hi' with 'ore -ea% than rea!on3 and to add then and there& 9*o'rade +rot!k#>! %o#a%t# in the inter<0art# re%ation! i! a !o%ute%# irre0roacha %e.? Ae re0eated it !evera% ti'e!. It wa! o viou! that in thi! wa# he wa! thru!ting ack not on%# at "o%otov ut at !o'e one e%!e3 for $ta%in and 6inoviev were tr#ing artificia%%# to 0ro%ong the at'o!0here of the di!0ute. 1t thi! tenth congre!!3 on 6inoviev>! initiative and Cuite again!t =enin>! wi%%3 $ta%in wa! 0ut forward a! a candidate for the 0o!t of the genera% !ecretar# of the 0art#. +he *ongre!! e%ieved that he had the acking of the entire *entra% *o''ittee. )ut no one attached 'uch i'0ortance to thi! a00oint'ent. Hnder =enin the 0o!t of genera% !ecretar#3 e!ta %i!hed # the tenth congre!!3 cou%d have on%# a technica% character3 never 0o%itica%. Yet =enin had hi! fear!. 9+hi! cook wi%% 'ake on%# 0e00er# di!he!3? he wou%d !a# of $ta%in. +hat wa! wh# =enin3 at one of the fir!t 'eeting! of the *entra% *o''ittee after the congre!!3 in!i!ted on e'0ha!i-ing 9+rot!k#>! %o#a%t#?D it wa! a thru!t at a !u terranean intrigue. =enin>! re'ark wa! no ca!ua% one. 8uring the civi% war3 =enin had once e/0re!!ed hi! 'ora% confidence in 'e3 not # word ut # action3 !o co'0%ete%# that no 'an cou%d either have a!ked or received 'ore. +he occa!ion wa! 0rovided # that !a'e 'i%itar# o00o!ition directed ehind the !cene! # $ta%in. 8uring the war3 I had 0ractica%%# un%i'ited 0ower. +he revo%utionar# tri una% he%d it! !e!!ion! in '# train3 the front! were !u ordinate to 'e3 and the a!e! au/i%iar# to the front! B and at ti'e!3 near%# the entire territor# e%onging to the re0u %ic3 not occu0ied # 5hite!3 con!i!ted of a!e! and fortified region!. +ho!e who ha00ened to get run over # the whee%! of the 'i%itar# had re%ative! and friend! who did whatever the# cou%d to get re%ief for the'. Petition!3 co'0%aint! and 0rote!t! concentrated in "o!cow # variou! channe%!3 and e!0ecia%%# at the 0re!idiu' of the *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee. +he fir!t e0i!ode! of thi! !ort were connected with event! that had taken 0%ace a! %ong efore a! the 'onth at $vi#a-h!k. I have a%read# to%d a out the incident of the co''ander of the fourth =atvian regi'ent who wa! 0ut on tria% # 'e for threatening to withdraw it fro' it! 0o!ition. +he tri una% !entenced the co''ander to five #ear!> i'0ri!on'ent. $evera% 'onth! %ater3 0etition! egan to co'e in3 0%eading for hi! re%ea!e. +he 0re!!ure of $v#erd%ov wa! e!0ecia%%# great. Ae 0ut the Cue!tion to the Po%it ureau. I rief%# de!cri ed the 'i%itar# !ituation of that ti'e3 when the regi'ent co''ander had threatened 'e with 9con!eCuence! that wou%d e dangerou! for the revo%ution.? 8uring '# narrative3 =enin>! face grew gra#er and gra#er. I had hard%# fini!hed '# !tor# when he e/c%ai'ed in that !tif%ed3 hoar!e voice that with hi' a%wa#! indicated e/cite'ent& 9=et hi' !ta# in. =et hi' !ta# thereJ? $v#erd%ov %ooked at oth of u! and !aid3 9I think !o3 too.?

+he !econd e0i!ode3 a 'uch 'ore !ignificant one3 wa! that connected with the !hooting of the co''ander and the co''i!!ar# who withdrew their regi'ent fro' it! 0o!t3 !ei-ed a !tea'er # threat of ar'!3 and 0re0ared to !tea' to Ni@ni Novgorod. +he regi'ent had een for'ed at $'o%#en!k under the direction of tho!e o00onent! of '# 'i%itar# 0o%ic# who %ater eca'e it! ardent !u00orter!. )ut at that ti'e the# were %oud in 0rote!t. +he co''i!!ion of the *entra% *o''ittee3 a00ointed at '# reCue!t3 wa! unani'ou! in !tating that the action of the 'i%itar# authoritie! wa! a !o%ute%# rightD that the !ituation had warranted it. )ut the a' iguou! ru'or! continued. $evera% ti'e! I fe%t that their !ource wa! not far fro' the Po%it ureau3 ut I wa! too u!# to conduct an inve!tigation or to di!entang%e intrigue!. On%# once did I re'ark3 at the 'eeting of the Po%it ureau3 that if it had not een for the ruth%e!! 'ea!ure! at $vi#a-h!k3 we wou%d not have een ho%ding our 'eeting. 91 !o%ute%#3? =enin 0icked it u03 and then and there egan to write ver# fa!t3 a! he a%wa#! did3 in red ink at the otto' of a %ank !heet that ore the !ea% of the $oviet of Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie!. =enin wa! in the chair3 and !o the 'eeting !to00ed. +wo 'inute! %ater3 he handed 'e the !heet of 0a0er. L1M 9I wi%% give #ou3? !aid =enin3 9a! 'an# for'! %ike thi! a! #ou want.? In circu'!tance! a! !eriou! a! tho!e of civi% war3 with it! nece!!it# of 'aking ha!t# and irrevoca %e deci!ion!3 !o'e of which 'ight have een 'i!taken3 =enin gave hi! !ignature in advance to an# deci!ion that I 'ight con!ider nece!!ar# in the future. 1nd the!e were deci!ion! that carried %ife or death with the'. *ou%d there e a greater confidence of one 'an in an otherE +he ver# idea of thi! e/traordinar# docu'ent cou%d have co'e to =enin on%# ecau!e he knew etter than I did3 or e%!e !u!0ected the !ource of the intrigue and thought it nece!!ar# to !trike ack at it with the ut'o!t vigor. )ut he cou%d ri!k !uch a !te0 on%# ecau!e he wa! !o fir'%# convinced that I cou%d not e di!%o#a% or a u!e the 0ower. +hi! confidence in 'e he e/0re!!ed to the fu%% in a few %ine!. +he e0igone! 'a# %ook in vain for !uch a docu'ent a'ong their 0o!!e!!ion!. If $ta%in find! an#thing in hi! archive!3 it cou%d on%# e =enin>! 95i%%3? which $ta%in concea%ed fro' the 0art# B the 9wi%%? in which $ta%in hi'!e%f i! referred to a! a di!%o#a% 'an3 ca0a %e of a u!e of 0ower. It i! enough !i'0%# to @u/ta0o!e the!e two te/t! B the un%i'ited 'ora% 0ower of attorne# which =enin conferred on 'e3 and the 'ora% 9wo%f>! 0a!!0ort3? LIM i!!ued to $ta%in B to rea%i-e to the fu%% hi! attitude toward each of u!.

'otes
1. 9:nowing the strict character o% Co#rade Trots$ys orders, & a# so con(inced, so absolutely con(inced, o% the correctness, e8pediency, and necessity %or the success o% the cause o% the order gi(en by Co#rade Trots$y, that & unreser(edly endorse this order.? B =ENIN. I. +he na'e of 9wo%f>! 0a!!0ort? wa! a00%ied co%%oCuia%%# in *-ari!t ,u!!ia to a docu'ent3 a%!o known a! :the tran!it certificate3? i!!ued to cri'ina%! in %ieu of a 0a!!0ortD it u!ua%%# 'ade the' outca!t! not a%%owed to !ta# %ong in an# one 0%ace. B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life

%3APT(! <<<0<

L('0'@) 0LL'())
I took '# fir!t %eave in the !0ring of 19I23 efore the !econd congre!! of the *o''uni!t Internationa%3 and !0ent a out two 'onth! near "o!cow. "# ti'e wa! given over to a cour!e of 'edica% treat'ent (I wa! @u!t eginning to take '# hea%th !eriou!%#)3 working on the 'anife!to that during the fo%%owing #ear! !erved a! a !u !titute for the 0rogra''e of the *o''uni!t Internationa%3 and hunting for ga'e. 1fter the #ear! of !train I fe%t the need of re!t. )ut I didn>t have the ha it3 and wa%k! did not re!t 'e an# 'ore then than the# do to<da#. +he attraction in hunting i! that it act! on the 'ind a! a 0ou%tice doe! on a !ore. One $unda# ear%# in "a#3 19II3 I went fi!hing with a net in the o%d channe% of the "o!cow river. It wa! raining3 the gra!! wa! wet3 and I !%i00ed and roke the %iga'ent! of '# foot. It wa! nothing !eriou! and I had 'ere%# to !0end a few da#! in ed. On the third da# )ukharin ca'e to !ee 'e. 9You3 too3 are in edE? he e/c%ai'ed in horror. 91nd who e!ide!E? I a!ked hi'. 9=enin i! ver# i%%. Ae ha! had a !troke3 and he cannot wa%k or ta%k. +he doctor! are utter%# at a %o!!.? =enin a%wa#! !howed great intere!t in the hea%th of hi! co%%eague!3 and often Cuoted the word! of !o'e N'igrN& 9+he o%d 'en wi%% die and the #oung one! wi%% !urrender.? 9Aow 'an# of u! know what Euro0e i!3 what the wor%d %a or 'ove'ent i!E 1! %ong a! we are the on%# one! with a revo%ution3? he !aid freCuent%#3 9the internationa% e/0erience of the u00er grou0 of our 0art# cannot e re0%aced.? =enin hi'!e%f wa! con!idered a 'an of ro u!t hea%th3 and thi! hea%th !ee'ed to e one of the inde!tructi %e 0i%%ar! of the revo%ution. Ae wa! a%wa#! active3 a%ert3 even<te'0ered and ga#. On%# occa!iona%%# did I notice a%ar'ing !#'0to'!. 8uring the fir!t congre!! of the *o''uni!t Internationa%3 he !ur0ri!ed 'e with hi! tired %ook3 the unevenne!! of hi! voice3 and hi! !ick 'an>! !'i%e. "ore than once I to%d hi' that he wa! !0ending hi'!e%f on 'atter! of !econdar# i'0ortance. Ae agreed3 ut !aid that he cou%dn>t do otherwi!e. $o'eti'e! he co'0%ained of headache!3 a%wa#! ca!ua%%# and with a %itt%e e' arra!!'ent. )ut two or three week! of re!t !ufficed to re!tore hi'. It !ee'ed a! if =enin wou%d never wear out. 1t the c%o!e of 19I13 hi! condition grew wor!e. On 8ece' er ;3 he !ent a note to the 'e' er! of the Po%it ureau& 9I a' going awa# to<da#. 8e!0ite '# working %e!! and re!ting 'ore during recent da#!3 the in!o'nia ha! grown he%%i!hi# wor!e. I a' afraid that I !ha%% not e a %e to 'ake an# re0ort! either at the 0art# conference or at the congre!! of the $oviet!.? =enin egan to !0end

a great dea% of hi! ti'e in a vi%%age near "o!cow. )ut he watched the 0rogre!! of the work 'o!t carefu%%# fro' there. 1t that ti'e3 0re0aration! for the 4eneva conference were under wa#. On 7anuar# I33 19II3 =enin wrote to the 'e' er! of the Po%it ureau& 9I have @u!t received two %etter! fro' *hicherin (dated the I2th and the IId). Ae a!k! whether it wou%dn>t e de!ira %e to agree3 for a 0ro0er co'0en!ation3 to !o'e !'a%% change! in the con!titution3 na'e%# to the re0re!entation of the 0ara!itic e%e'ent! in the $oviet!. +hi! to 0%ea!e the 1'erican!. +hi! 0ro0o!a% of *hicherin>! !how!3 in '# o0inion3 that he 'u!t e !ent to a !anitariu' at onceD ever# conce!!ion in thi! re!0ect3 agree'ent to a de%a#3 etc.3 wi%%3 in '# o0inion3 e the greate!t 'enace to a%% the negotiation!.? In ever# word of thi! note3 in which 0o%itica% ruth%e!!ne!! i! tinged with !%# good<nature3 i! the %iving3 reathing =enin. Ai! hea%th continued to grow wor!e. In "arch3 hi! head ache! grew 'ore freCuent. +he doctor! found no organic di!order!3 however3 and 0re!cri ed a 0ro%onged re!t. =enin !ett%ed down 0er'anent%# in a "o!cow vi%%age. 1nd it wa! there that he had hi! fir!t !troke3 ear%# in "a#. It !ee'! that =enin had een taken i%% two da#! efore )ukharin>! vi!it. 5h# had I een to%d nothing a out itE 1t the ti'e3 I never thought of eing !u!0iciou!. 95e did not want to di!tur #ou3? )ukharin to%d 'e3 9and were waiting to !ee how hi! i%%ne!! wou%d deve%o0.? )ukharin !0oke Cuite !incere%#3 'ere%# re0eating what the 9grown<u0!? had 0er!uaded hi' into e%ieving. 1t that ti'e3 )ukharin wa! attached to 'e in hi! characteri!tic 9)ukharin? wa#3 ha%f h#!terica%%#3 ha%f chi%di!h%#. Ae fini!hed hi! account of =enin>! i%%ne!! # dro00ing down on '# ed and 'uttering3 a! he 0re!!ed hi! ar'! a out 'e over the %anket& 98on>t #ou get !ick3 I i'0%ore #ou3 don>t get !ick ... +here are two 'en of who!e death I a%wa#! think with horror ... =enin and #ou.? I raff%ed LEM hi' in a friend%# wa# to re!tore hi! 0oi!e. Ae wa! 0re venting 'e fro' concentrating on the a%ar' that hi! new! had cau!ed. +he %ow wa! overwhe%'ing. It !ee'ed a! if the revo%ution it!e%f were ho%ding it! reath. 9+he fir!t ru'or! of =enin>! i%%ne!!3? write! N.I. $edova in her note!3 9were on%# whi!0ered. It !ee'ed that no one thought that =enin cou%d ever e taken i%%. "an# knew that he watched intent%# over the hea%th of other!3 ut it !ee'ed that he hi'!e%f wa! i''une to di!ea!e. Near%# a%% the revo%utionarie! of the o%der generation had !o'e affection of the heart3 weakened # the e/ce!!ive !train 0ut on it. +he doctor! wou%d co'0%ain& >Near%# a%% of the' have their 'otor! 'i!firing.> 9P+here are on%# two heart! in 0ro0er order3> Profe!!or 4uetier !aid to =ev 8av#dovich3 P=enin>! and #our!. 5ith !uch a heart3 one can %ive to e a hundred.> +he e/a'ination # foreign !0ecia%i!t! confir'ed thi! B that out of a%% the heart! e/a'ined # the' in "o!cow3 on%# tho!e of =enin and +rot!k# worked e/ce0tiona%%# we%%. 5hen =enin>! !udden turn of hea%th eca'e known 'ore wide%#3 it wa! %ike a !hift in the revo%ution it!e%f. 5a! it 0o!!i %e that =enin cou%d fa%% i%% and die3 %ike an#one e%!eE It wa! terri %e to hear that =enin had %o!t hi! a i%it# to 'ove a out and !0eak. I cou%d not he%0 fir'%# e%ieving that he wou%d overco'e it a%%3 wou%d ri!e and recover.? +hi! wa! the !enti'ent of the entire 0art#. =ooking ack con!idera %# %ater3 I re'e' ered with fre!h !ur0ri!e that I had not got new! of =enin>! i%%ne!! unti% the third da#. 1t that ti'e3 I did not !to0 to think a out it. )ut thi! cou%d have een no accident. +ho!e who for a %ong ti'e had een 0re0aring to eco'e '# o00onent! B

$ta%in a ove a%% B were an/iou! to gain ti'e. =enin>! i%%ne!! wa! of the !ort that 'ight co'e to a tragic end at an# 'o'ent. +o'orrow3 or even toda#3 a%% Cue!tion! of %eader!hi0 'ight eco'e crucia% one!. "# o00onent! thought it i'0ortant to gain ti'e for 0re0aration3 even if it were on%# a da#. +he# conferred !ecret%# and !ounded out wa#! and 'ean!. It 'u!t e a!!u'ed that the idea of the trio ($ta%in<6inoviev<Ka'enev) to o00o!e 'e wa! a%read# decided on. )ut =enin recovered. 8riven # hi! un#ie%ding wi%%3 hi! entire organi!' 'ade a gigantic effortD the rain that wa! fai%ing fro' %ack of %ood3 that had %o!t the 0ower to @oin together !ound! or %etter!3 !udden%# revived. +oward the end of "a# I went on a fi!hing<tri0 to a 0%ace a out G2 (ersts awa# fro' "o!cow. +he 0%ace ha00ened to have a !anitariu' na'ed after =enin. +he chi%dren wa%ked a%ong the %ake with 'e3 a!ked 'e Cue!tion! a out =enin>! hea%th3 and gave 'e fie%d f%ower! and a %etter for hi'. =enin a! #et cou%d not write. Ae dictated a few %ine! through hi! !ecretar#& 9(%adi'ir I%#ich ha! a!ked 'e to write #ou that he we%co'e! #our !ugge!tion to take a 0re!ent fro' hi' to the chi%dren of the !anitariu' at the !tation of Pod!o%nechna#a. (%adi'ir I%#ich a%!o reCue!t! #ou to te%% the %itt%e one! that he thank! the' ver# 'uch for their kind %etter and f%ower!3 and i! !orr# that he i! una %e to take advantage of their invitationD he ha! no dou t that he wou%d !oon recover in their co'0an#.? In 7u%#3 =enin wa! on hi! feet again3 and a%though he did not officia%%# return to work unti% Octo er3 he ke0t hi! e#e on ever# thing and !tudied ever#thing. 8uring tho!e 'onth! of conva%e!cence3 a'ong the thing! that engaged hi! attention wa! the tria% of the $ocia%i!t< ,evo%utioni!t!. +he $ocia%i!t<,evo%utioni!t! had ki%%ed (o%odar!k# and Hrit-k#3 had wounded =enin !eriou!%#3 and had 'ade two atte'0t! to %ow u0 '# train. 5e cou%d not treat a%% thi! %ight%#. 1%though we did not regard it fro' the idea%i!tic 0oint of view of our ene'ie!3 we a00reciated 9the rF%e of the individua% in hi!tor#.? 5e cou%d not c%o!e our e#e! to the danger that threatened the revo%ution if we were to a%%ow our ene'ie! to !hoot down3 one # one3 the who%e %eading grou0 of our 0art#. Our hu'anitarian friend! of the neither<hot<nor<co%d !0ecie! have e/0%ained to u! 'ore than once that the# cou%d !ee the nece!!it# of re0ri!a%! in genera%3 ut that to !hoot a ca0tured ene'# 'ean! to over!te0 the %i'it! of nece!!ar# !e%f<defen!e. +he# de'anded that we !how 9'agnani'it#.? *%ara 6etkin and other Euro0ean co''uni!t! who !ti%% dared at that ti'e to !a# what the# thought3 in o00o!ition to =enin and 'e3 in!i!ted that we !0are the %ive! of the 'en on tria%. +he# !ugge!ted that we %i'it their 0uni!h'ent to confine'ent in 0ri!on. +hi! !ee'ed the !i'0%e!t !o%ution. )ut the Cue!tion of re0ri!a%! on individua%! in ti'e! of revo%ution a!!u'e! a Cuite !0ecific character fro' which hu'anitarian genera%itie! re ound in i'0otence. +he !trugg%e then i! for actua% 0ower3 a !trugg%e for %ife or death B !ince that i! what revo%ution i!. 5hat 'eaning3 under !uch condition!3 can i'0ri!on'ent have for 0eo0%e who ho0e to !ei-e the 0ower in a few week! and i'0ri!on or de!tro# the 'en at the he%'E Fro' the 0oint of view of the a !o%ute va%ue of the hu'an 0er!ona%it#3 revo%ution 'u!t e 9conde'ned3? a! we%% a! war B a! 'u!t a%!o the entire hi!tor# of 'ankind taken in the %arge. Yet the ver# idea of 0er!ona%it# ha! een deve%o0ed on%# a! a re!u%t of revo%ution!3 a 0roce!! that i! !ti%% far fro' co'0%ete. In order that the idea of 0er!ona%it# 'a# eco'e a rea%it# and the ha%f<conte'0tuou! idea of the 9'a!!e!? 'a# cea!e to e the antithe!i! of the 0hi%o!o0hica%%# 0rivi%eged idea of 90er!ona%it#3? the 'a!!e! 'u!t %ift the'!e%ve! to a new hi!torica% rung # the revo%utionar# crane3 or3 to e 'ore e/act3 #

a !erie! of revo%ution!. 5hether thi! 'ethod i! good or ad fro' the 0oint of view of nor'ative 0hi%o!o0h#3 I do not know3 and I 'u!t confe!! I a' not intere!ted in knowing. )ut I do know definite%# that thi! i! the on%# wa# that hu'anit# ha! found thu! far. +he!e con!ideration! are in no !en!e an atte'0t to 9@u!tif#? the revo%utionar# terror. +o atte'0t to @u!tif# it wou%d 'ean to take notice of the accu!er!. 1nd who are the#E +he organi-er! and e/0%oiter! of the great wor%d !%aughterE +he nou(eau8 riches who offer u0 to the 9unknown !o%dier? the aro'a of their after<dinner cigar!E +he 0acifi!t! who fought war on%# when there wa! none3 and who are read# to re0eat their re0u%!ive 'a!CueradeE =%o#d 4eorge3 5i%!on3 and PoincarN3 who con!idered the'!e%ve! entit%ed to !tarve 4er'an chi%dren for the cri'e! of the Aohen-o%%ern! B and for their own cri'e!E +he Eng%i!h con!ervative! or French ,e0u %ican! who fanned the f%a'e! of civi% war in ,u!!ia fro' a !afe di!tance whi%e the# were tr#ing to coin their 0rofit! out of it! %oodE +hi! ro%%<ca%% cou%d e continued without end. For 'e3 the Cue!tion i! not one of 0hi%o!o0hica% @u!tification3 ut rather of 0o%itica% e/0%anation. ,evo%ution i! revo%ution on%# ecau!e it reduce! a%% contradiction! to the a%ternative of %ife or death. I! it conceiva %e that 'en who !o%ve the Cue!tion of !overeignt# over 1%!ace<=orraine ever# ha%f< centur# # 'ean! of 'ountain! of hu'an cor0!e! are ca0a %e of re ui%ding their !ocia% re%ation! # nothing 'ore than 0ar%ia'entar# ventri%oCui!'E 1t an# rate3 no one ha! !hown u! a! #et how it can e done. 5e were reaking u0 the re!i!tance of the o%d rock! with the he%0 of !tee% and d#na'ite. 1nd when our ene'ie! !hot at u!3 in 'o!t ca!e! with rif%e! fro' the 'o!t civi%i-ed and de'ocratic nation!3 we re0%ied in the !a'e vernacu%ar. )ernard $haw !hook hi! eard re0roachfu%%# over thi! in the direction of oth 0artie!3 ut no one took an# notice of hi! !acra'enta% argu'ent. In the !u''er of 19II3 the Cue!tion of re0ri!a%! took on !0ecia% urgenc#3 ecau!e it wa! concerned with the %eader! of a 0art# that had once waged the revo%utionar# fight again!t *-ari!'3 !ide # !ide with u!3 ut had turned the wea0on of terror again!t u! after the Octo er revo%ution. 8e!erter! fro' the ca'0 of the $ocia%i!t<,evo%utioni!t! di!c%o!ed to u! the fact that the wor!t act! of terrori!' were not in!tigated # individua%!3 a! we had at fir!t een inc%ined to e%ieve3 ut # the 0art#3 a%though it did not ri!k a for'a% acknow%edge'ent of it! re!0on!i i%it# for the a!!a!!ination! it wa! co''itting. +he death<!entence # the tri una% wa! inevita %e3 ut carr#ing it out 'eant @u!t a! inevita %# a reta%iating wave of terrori!'. +o %i'it the 'ethod of 0uni!h'ent to i'0ri!on'ent3 even for a %ong 0eriod of ti'e3 wa! tanta'ount to encouraging the terrori!t!3 !ince the# were the %ea!t %ike%# to e%ieve in the %ongevit# of the $oviet. +here wa! no a%ternative ut to 'ake the e/ecution of the !entence de0endent on whether or not the 0art# continued the terrori!t !trugg%e. In other word!3 the %eader! of the 0art# 'u!t e he%d a! ho!tage!. "# fir!t 'eeting with =enin after hi! recover# wa! during the tria% of the $ocia%<,evo%utioni!t!. It wa! in!tant%# and with re%ief that he agreed to the 0ro0o!ition that I 'ade& 9Suite right3 there i! no a%ternative.? Ai! recover# wa! a00arent%# in!0iriting to hi'. )ut he !ti%% had !o'e inner fear. 9You under!tand3? he !aid3 Cuite ewi%dered3 9I cou%d not even !0eak or write3 and I had to %earn ever#thing a%% over again.? 1nd he %ifted hi! e#e! Cue!ting%# to 'e. In Octo er3 =enin officia%%# returned to workD he 0re!ided at the Po%it ureau and at the $oviet of Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie!3 and in Nove' er 'ade 0rogra''e !0eeche!3 to a%% a00earance! at heav# co!t to hi! arterie!. Ae !ee'ed to !en!e the a%'o!t i'0erce0ti %e thread! of a con!0irac#

eing woven ehind our ack! in connection with hi! i%%ne!!. +he e0igone! were not #et urning their ridge! ehind the'3 ut here and there the# were !awing through the ea'! and hiding awa# !tick! of d#na'ite. 5henever o00ortunit# offered the# o00o!ed 'e3 a! if the# were taking e/erci!e! in eing inde0endent3 and were carefu%%# 0re0aring !uch de'on!tration!. 1! =enin got dee0er into the work3 he egan to o !erve with an/iet# the change! that had een taking 0%ace during the 'onth! 0receding3 ut he !aid nothing a out the'3 for fear of aggravating the !ituation. Ae wa! 0re0aring to re uff the 9trio3? and egan # doing it in individua% 'atter!. 1'ong the !o'e odd<do-en @o ! that I wa! directing a! 0art of the 0art# work B that i!3 0rivate%# and unofficia%%# B wa! the anti<re%igiou! 0ro0aganda3 in which =enin wa! ver# 'uch intere!ted. Ae a!ked 'e in!i!tent%# not to %et thi! work out of '# !ight. 5hi%e conva%e!cent3 he had !o'ehow %earned that $ta%in wa! 'anoeuvring again!t 'e there # renewing the a00aratu! of the anti<re%igiou! 0ro0aganda and 'oving it awa# fro' 'e. Fro' the countr#3 =enin !ent the Po%it ureau a %etter in which3 without a00arent nece!!it#3 he Cuoted '# ook on Kaut!k#3 and 0rai!ed the author3 without 'entioning either hi' or the ook # na'e. I 'u!t confe!! that I did not at the ti'e gue!! that thi! wa! a rounda out wa# of !a#ing that =enin con de'ned $ta%in>! 'anceuvre! again!t 'e. In the 'eanti'e3 Yaro!%av!k#3 I think in the gui!e of '# de0ut#3 wa! 0u!hed forward to take charge of the anti<re%igiou! 0ro0aganda. 5hen =enin got ack to work and heard a out it3 he ferociou!%# attacked "o%otov B and through hi' $ta%in B at one of the 'eeting! of the Po%it ureau& 9Yar<o!<%av!k#E 8on>t #ou know what Yar<o!<%av!k# i!E 5h#3 it wou%d 'ake a hen chuck%e. Ae wi%% never e a %e to 'anage thi! work3? and !o on. =enin>! vehe'ence 'a# !ee' e/ce!!ive to the uninitiated. )ut it wa! not a Cue!tion of =enin>! eing una %e to ear Yaro!%av!k#3 ut rather the 0art# direction. Incident! %ike thi! were freCuent enough. If one %ook! into it 'ore dee0%#3 one !ee! that $ta%in3 fro' the ver# 'o'ent that he ca'e into c%o!e contact with =enin3 and e!0ecia%%# !ince the Octo er revo%ution3 had a%wa#! een !u0 0re!!ed and i'0otent in hi! o00o!ition to hi'3 and wa! a%% the 'ore irrita %e ecau!e of it. )ecau!e of hi! enor'ou! env# and a' ition3 $ta%in cou%d not he%0 fee%ing at ever# !te0 hi! inte%%ectua% and 'ora% inferiorit#. It !ee'! that he tried to get c%o!er to 'e. Not unti% 'uch %ater did I rea%i-e the 'eaning of atte'0t! to e!ta %i!h !o'ething a00roaching fa'i%iarit# etween u!. )ut I wa! re0e%%ed # tho!e ver# Cua%itie! that were hi! !trength on the wave of dec%ine B the narrowne!! of hi! intere!t!3 hi! e'0irici!'3 the coar!ene!! of hi! 0!#cho%ogica% 'ake<u03 hi! 0ecu%iar c#nici!' of a 0rovincia% who' "ar/i!' ha! freed fro' 'an# 0re@udice! without3 however3 re0%acing the' with a 0hi%o!o0hica% out%ook thorough%# thought out and 'enta%%# a!!i'i%ated. 7udged # !o'e of hi! ca!ua% re'ark!3 which at the ti'e !ee'ed accidenta% ut actua%%# were not3 $ta%in wa! tr#ing to find in 'e !u00ort again!t =enin3 who!e contro% he found !o irk!o'e. 1t ever# atte'0t of thi! !ort3 I in!tinctive%# drew awa# fro' hi' and wa%ked on. I e%ieve that the !ource! of hi! co%d and at fir!t coward%# ut thorough%# treacherou! hatred of 'e are to e found in thi!. Ae !#!te'atica%%# gathered a out hi' either 'en who were %ike hi'3 or !i'0%e fe%%ow! who wanted to %ive without eing othered # !u t%e 0ro %e'!3 or tho!e who!e fee%ing! had een hurt. +he fir!t3 the !econd3 and the third grou0! a%% were nu'erou!. +here i! no dou t that in routine work it wa! 'ore convenient for =enin to de0end on $ta%in3 6inoviev or Ka'enev rather than on 'e. =enin wa! a%wa#! tr#ing to !ave hi! ti'e a! we%% a! ever#one e%!e>!. Ae tried to reduce to a 'ini'u' the energ# !0ent in overco'ing friction. I had

'# own view!3 '# own wa#! of work ing3 and '# own 'ethod! of carr#ing out a deci!ion once it had een ado0ted. =enin knew thi! we%% enough3 and re!0ected it. +hat wa! wh# he under!tood on%# too we%% that I wa! not !uited for e/ecuting co''i!!ion!. 5hen he needed 'en to carr# out hi! in!truction!3 he turned to !o'e one e%!e. In certain 0eriod!3 e!0ecia%%# when =enin and I had had a di!agree'ent3 thi! 0ro a %# 'ade hi! a!!i!tant! e%ieve that the# were 0articu%ar%# c%o!e to hi'. For e/a'0%e3 he invited ,#kov and +-#uru0a to e hi! de0utie! a! chair'an of the $oviet of Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie!3 and %ater on added Ka'enev to the'. I thought thi! wa! a good choice. =enin needed 0ractica%3 o edient a!!i!tant!. I wa! Hn!uited to the rF%e3 and I cou%d on%# e gratefu% to =enin for not offering 'e the de0ut#!hi0. Far fro' con!idering thi! a %ack of confidence in 'e3 I !aw in it on the contrar# a definite and not unf%attering a00reciation of 'e and of our 'utua% re%ation!. =ater on3 I had occa!ion to e co'0%ete%# convinced of thi!. In the interva% etween hi! fir!t and !econd !troke!3 =enin cou%d work on%# ha%f a! 'uch a! efore. $%ight ut none the %e!! o'inou! warning! fro' hi! %ood<ve!!e%! reached hi' off and on throughout thi! 0eriod. 1t one of the 'eeting! of the Po%it ureau3 a! he got u0 to hand !o'e one a note B =enin a%wa#! e/changed note! thi! wa# to !0eed u0 the work B he ree%ed a %itt%e. I noticed it on%# ecau!e hi! face changed e/0re!!ion in!tant%#. +hi! wa! one of 'an# warning! fro' hi! vita% centre!. =enin had no i%%u!ion! on thi! !core. Ae ke0t 0ondering fro' a%% 0oint! of view how the work wou%d go on without hi'3 and after hi'. It 'u!t have een then that he for'u%ated 'enta%%# the docu'ent that %ater eca'e known a! hi! 95i%%.? 1nd it wa! at thi! ti'e B during the %a!t week! efore hi! !econd !troke B that =enin and I had a %ong conver!ation a out '# work in the future. )ecau!e of it! 0o%itica% i'0ortance3 I i''ediate%# re0eated thi! conver!ation to a nu' er of 0eo0%e (,akov!k#3 I.N. $'irnov3 $o!nov!k#3 Pr#eo ra-hen!k#3 and other!). If on%# e cau!e of thi! re0etition3 the conver!ation ha! een ver# c%ear%# recorded in '# 'e'or#. It ca'e a out in thi! wa#. +he centra% co''ittee of the union of educationa% worker! !ent a de%egation to =enin and 'e with the reCue!t that I take over the co''i!!ariat of education in addition to '# other dutie!3 in the !a'e wa# that I had taken charge of the co''i!!ariat of tran!0ort for a #ear 0a!t. =enin wanted to know what I thought a out it. I to%d hi' that in the educationa% fie%d3 a! in ever# other3 the difficu%t# wou%d co'e fro' the ad'ini!trative a00aratu!. 9Ye!3 our ureaucrati!' i! !o'ething 'on!trou!3? =enin re0%ied3 0icking u0 '# train of thought. 9I wa! a00a%%ed when I ca'e ack to work ... It i! @u!t ecau!e of thi! that #ou !hou%d not B or at %ea!t I think !o B get drawn into an# de0art'enta% work e!ide! the 'i%itar#. =enin 0roceeded to !tate hi! 0%an with 0a!!ionate conviction. Ae had a %i'ited a'ount of !trength to give to the work of direction. Ae had three de0utie!. 9You know the'. Ka'enev i!3 of cour!e3 a c%ever 0o%itician3 ut what !ort of an ad'ini!trator i! heE +-#uru0a i! i%%. ,#kov i! 0erha0! an ad'ini!trator3 ut he wi%% have to go ack to the $u0re'e Econo'ic *ounci%. You 'u!t eco'e a de0ut#. +he !ituation i! !uch that we 'u!t have a radica% rea%ign'ent of 0er!onne%.? 1gain I 0ointed out the 9a00aratu!? that 'ade even '# work in the war de0art'ent increa!ing%# difficu%t. 95e%%3 that wi%% e #our chance to !hake u0 the a00aratu!3? =enin retorted Cuick%#3 hinting at an e/0re!!ion I had once u!ed. I re0%ied that I referred to the ureaucrac# not on%# in the !tate in!titution!3 ut in the 0art# a! we%%D that the cau!e of a%% the trou %e %a# in the co' ination of the two a00aratu!e! and in the 'utua% !hie%ding a'ong the inf%uentia% grou0! that gathered round the hierarch# of 0art# !ecretarie!. =enin %i!tened intent%#3 and confir'ed '# !ugge!tion! in that dee0 tone which ca'e !traight fro' the che!t3 a tone that wou%d reak through in hi' on%# when3 !ure that the 0er!on he wa! ta%king to under!tood hi' co'0%ete%#3 he wou%d di!0en!e with the

conventiona%itie! of conver!ation3 and touch o0en%# on what wa! the 'o!t i'0ortant and di!tur ing. 1fter thinking it over for a 'o'ent3 =enin 0ut the Cue!tion 0oint< %ank& 9You 0ro0o!e then to o0en fire not on%# again!t the !tate ureaucrac#3 ut again!t the Organi-ationa% )ureau of the *entra% *o''ittee a! we%%E? I cou%dn>t he%0 %aughing3 thi! ca'e !o une/0ected%#. 9+hat !ee'! to e it.? +he Organi-ationa% )ureau 'eant the ver# heart of $ta%in>! a00aratu!. 9Oh3 we%%3? =enin went on3 o viou!%# 0%ea!ed that we had ca%%ed the thing # it! right na'e3 9if that>! the ca!e3 then I offer #ou a %oc again!t ureaucrac# in genera% and again!t the Organi-ationa% )ureau in 0articu%ar.? 95ith a good 'an3 it i! an honor to for' a good %oc3? I re0%ied. 5e agreed to 'eet again !o'e ti'e %ater. =enin !ugge!ted that I think over the organi-ation end of the Cue!tion. Ae 0%anned to create a co''i!!ion attached to the *entra% *o''ittee for fighting ureaucrac#. 5e were oth to e 'e' er!. +hi! co''i!!ion wa! e!!entia%%# to e the %ever for reaking u0 the $ta%in faction a! the ack one of the ureaucrac#3 and for creating !uch condition! in the 0art# a! wou%d a%%ow 'e to e co'e =enin>! de0ut#3 and3 a! he intended3 hi! !ucce!!or to the 0o!t of chair'an of the $oviet of Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie!. On%# in thi! connection doe! the fu%% 'eaning of the !o<ca%%ed 95i%%? eco'e c%ear. =enin na'e! on%# !i/ 0eo0%e there3 and !u'! the' u0 rief%#3 weighing each word. HnCue!tiona %#3 hi! o @ect in 'aking the wi%% wa! to faci%itate the work of direction for 'e. Ae natura%%# wanted to do it with the %ea!t 0o!!i %e a'ount of friction. Ae ta%k! a out ever# one 'o!t guarded%#3 !oftening the 'o!t deva!tating @udg'ent!. 1t the !a'e ti'e he Cua%ifie! with re!ervation! the too definite indication of the one who' he think! entit%ed to fir!t 0%ace. On%# in hi! ana%#!i! of $ta%in doe! one fee% a different tone! a tone which in the %ater 0o!t!cri0t to the wi%% i! nothing !hort of annihi%ating. Of 6inoviev and Ka'enev3 =enin write!3 with an effect of ca!ua%ne!!3 that their ca0itu%ation in 191; wa! 9not an accident?D in other word!3 it i! in their %ood. O viou!%# !uch 'en cannot direct the revo%ution3 ut the# !hou%d not e re0roached for their 0a!t!. )ukharin i! not a "ar/i!t ut a !cho%a!ticD he i!3 however3 a !#'0athetic 0er!on. P#atakov i! an a %e ad'ini!trator3 ut a ver# ad 0o%itician. It i! Cuite 0o!!i %e3 however3 that the!e two3 )ukharin and P#atakov3 wi%% !ti%% %earn. +he a %e!t i! +rot!k#D hi! defect i! hi! e/ce!! of !e%f<confidence. $ta%in i! rude3 di!%o#a%3 and ca0a %e of a u!e of the 0ower that he derive! fro' the 0art# a00aratu!. $ta%in !hou%d e re'oved to avoid a !0%it. +hi! i! the !u !tance of the 95i%%.? It round! out and c%arifie! the 0ro0o!a% that =enin 'ade 'e in our %a!t conver!ation. =enin ca'e to know $ta%in rea%%# on%# after the Octo er revo%ution. Ae va%ued hi! fir'ne!! and hi! 0ractica% 'ind3 which i! three<Cuarter! cunning. 1nd #et3 at ever# !te03 =enin !truck at $ta%in>! ignorance3 at hi! ver# narrow 0o%itica% hori-on3 and hi! e/ce0tiona% 'ora% coar!ene!! and un!cru0u%ou!ne!!. $ta%in wa! e%ected to the 0o!t of genera% !ecretar# of the 0art# again!t the wi%% of =enin3 who acCuie!ced on%# !o %ong a! he hi'!e%f headed the 0art#. )ut after hi! fir!t !troke3 when he returned to work with hi! hea%th under'ined3 =enin a00%ied hi'!e%f to the entire 0ro %e' of %eader!hi0. +hi! account! for the conver!ation with 'e. Aence3 too3 the 5i%%. It! %a!t %ine! were written on 7anuar# T. 1fter that3 two 'ore 'onth! 0a!!ed during which the !ituation

took definite !ha0e. =enin wa! now 0re0aring not on%# to re'ove $ta%in fro' hi! 0o!t of genera% !ecretar#3 ut to di!Cua%if# hi' efore the 0art# a! we%%. On the Cue!tion of 'ono0o%# of foreign trade3 on the nationa% Cue!tion3 on Cue!tion! of the regi'e in the 0art#3 of the worker<0ea!ant in!0ection3 and of the co''i!!ion of contro%3 he wa! !#!te'atica%%# 0re0aring to de %iver at the twe%fth congre!! a cru!hing %ow at $ta%in a! 0er!onif#ing ureaucrac#3 the 'utua% !hie%ding a'ong officia%!3 ar itrar# ru%e and genera% rudene!!. 5ou%d =enin have een a %e to carr# out the regrou0ing in the 0art# direction that he 0%annedE 1t that 'o'ent3 he undou ted%# wou%d. +here had een !evera% 0recedent! for it3 and one of the' wa! Cuite fre!h in 'ind and !ignificant. In Nove' er3 19II3 whi%e =enin wa! !ti%% conva%e!cent and %iving in the countr#3 and whi%e I wa! a !ent fro' "o!cow3 the *entra% *o''ittee unani'ou!%# ado0ted a deci!ion that dea%t an irre0ara %e %ow at the 'ono0o%# of foreign trade. )oth =enin and I !ounded the a%ar'3 inde0endent%# of each other3 and then wrote to each other and co<ordinated our action. 1 few week! %ater3 the *entra% *o''ittee revoked it! deci!ion a! unani'ou!%# a! it had ado0ted it. On 8ece' er I13 =enin wrote triu'0hant%# to 'e& 9*o'rade +rot!k#3 it !ee'! that we have 'anaged to ca0ture the 0o!ition without a !ing%e !hot3 # a 'ere 'anoeuvre. I !ugge!t that we do not !to0 ut 0re!! the attack.? Our @oint action again!t the *entra% *o''ittee at the eginning of 19I3 wou%d without a !hadow of a dou t have rought u! victor#. 1nd what i! 'ore3 I have no dou t that if I had co'e forward on the eve of the twe%fth congre!! in the !0irit of a 9 %oc of =enin and +rot!k#? again!t the $ta%in ureaucrac#3 I !hou%d have een victoriou! even if =enin had taken no direct 0art in the !trugg%e. Aow !o%id the victor# wou%d have een i!3 of cour!e3 another Cue!tion. +o decide that3 one 'u!t take into account a nu' er of o @ective 0roce!!e! in the countr#3 in the working c%a!!3 and in the 0art# it!e%f. +hat i! a !e0arate and %arge the'e. =enin>! wife !aid in 19I; that if he had een a%ive he wou%d 0ro a %# have een doing ti'e in a $ta%in 0ri!on. I think !he wa! right. For the thing that 'atter! i! not $ta%in3 ut the force! that he e/0re!!e! without even rea%i-ing it. In 19II B I33 however3 it wa! !ti%% 0o!!i %e to ca0ture the co''anding 0o!ition # an o0en attack on the faction then ra0id%# eing for'ed of nationa% !ocia%i!t officia%!3 of u!ur0er! of the a00aratu!3 of the un%awfu% heir! of Octo er3 of the e0igone! of )o%!hevi!'. +he chief o !tac%e wa! =enin>! condition. Ae wa! e/0ected to ri!e again a! he had after hi! fir!t !troke and to take 0art in the twe%fth congre!! a! he had in the e%eventh. Ae hi'!e%f ho0ed for thi!. +he doctor! !0oke encouraging%#3 though with dwind%ing a!!urance. +he idea of a 9 %oc of =enin and +rot!k#? again!t the a00aratu!<'en and ureaucrat! wa! at that ti'e fu%%# known on%# to =enin and 'e3 a%though the other 'e' er! of the Po%it ureau di'%# !u!0ected it. =enin>! %etter! on the nationa% Cue!tion and hi! 5i%% re'ained unknown. Inde0endent action on '# 0art wou%d have een inter0reted3 or3 to e 'ore e/act3 re0re!ented a! '# 0er!ona% fight for =enin>! 0%ace in the 0art# and the !tate. +he ver# thought of thi! 'ade 'e !hudder. I con!idered that it wou%d have rought !uch a de'ora%i-ation in our rank! that we wou%d have had to 0a# too 0ainfu% a 0rice for it even in ca!e of victor#. In a%% 0%an! and ca%cu%ation!3 there re'ained the 0o!itive e%e'ent of uncertaint# B =enin and hi! 0h#!ica% condition. 5ou%d he e a %e to !tate hi! own view!E 5ou%d he !ti%% have ti'eE 5ou%d the 0art# under!tand that it wa! a ca!e of a fight # =enin and +rot!k# for the future of the revo%ution3 and not a fight # +rot!k# for the 0%ace he%d # =enin3 who wa! i%%E )ecau!e of =enin>! e/ce0tiona% 0o!ition in the 0art#3 the uncertaint# of hi! 0er!ona% condition eca'e the uncertaint# of the condition of the entire 0art#. +he indefinite !ituation wa! eing 0ro%onged. 1nd the de%a# !i'0%# 0%a#ed into the hand! of the e0igone!3 !ince $ta%in3 a!

genera% !ecretar#3 eca'e the 'a@ordo'o of the a00aratu! for the entire 0eriod of the interregnu'. It wa! the eginning of "arch3 19I3. =enin wa! %#ing in hi! roo' in the huge ui%ding of the court! of @u!tice. +he !econd !troke wa! nearD it wa! 0receded # a !erie! of %e!!er !hock!. I !0ent !evera% week! in ed with %u' ago in the for'er Kava%er !k# ui%ding3 where we had our a0art'ent3 and wa! !e0arated fro' =enin # the enor'ou! court#ard of the Kre'%in. Neither =enin nor I cou%d reach the te%e0honeD further'ore3 the doctor! !trict%# for ade =enin to ho%d an# te%e0hone conver!ation!. =enin>! two !ecretarie!3 Foti#eva and 4%a!!er3 did !ervice a! %iai!on officer!. +hi! i! what the# ca'e to te%% 'e& (%adi'ir I%#ich wa! ver# 'uch di!tur ed # $ta%in>! 0re0aration! for the co'ing 0art# congre!!3 e!0ecia%%# in connection with hi! factiona% 'achination! in 4eorgia. 9(%adi'ir I%#ich i! 0re0aring a o' for $ta%in at the congre!!? B that wa! Foti#eva>! 0hra!e3 ver ati'. +he word 9 o' ? wa! =enin>!3 not her!. 9(%adi'ir I%#ich a!k! #ou to take the 4eorgian ca!e in #our hand!D he wi%% then fee% confident.? On "arch 53 =enin dictated thi! note to 'e& 98ear *o'rade +rot!k#& I wi!h ver# 'uch to a!k #ou to take u0on #our!e%f the defen!e of the 4eorgian ca!e in the *entra% *o''ittee of the 0art#. 1t 0re!ent3 the ca!e i! under the >0er!ecution> of $ta%in and 8-er-hin!k#3 and I cannot tru!t their i'0artia%it#. Suite the o00o!ite. If #ou were to agree to under take the defen!e3 '# 'ind wou%d e at re!t. If for !o'e rea!on #ou cannot agree to do !o3 0%ea!e return the entire dossier to 'eD I !ha%% con!ider that a !ign of refu!a% fro' #ou. 5ith e!t co'rade%# greeting!3 =ENIN.? 5hat had rought the Cue!tion to !uch an acute !tageE B I inCuired. It turned out that $ta%in had etra#ed =enin>! confidenceD in order to in!ure hi'!e%f !u00ort in 4eorgia3 acting ehind =enin>! ack and without the know%edge of the entire *entra% *o''ittee3 he had carried out3 with the he%0 of Ord-honikid-e and not without !u00ort fro' 8-er-hin!k#3 an organi-ed coup d<dat there again!t the e!t !ection of the 0art#3 !hie%ding hi'!e%f fa%!e%# ehind the authorit# of the *entra% *o''ittee. 1! =enin>! i%%ne!! 'ade it i'0o!!i %e for hi' to 'eet other co'rade!3 $ta%in had taken advantage of thi! and had !urrounded hi' with 'i!infor'ation. =enin in!tructed hi! !ecretarie! to gather a%% the 'ateria% the# cou%d on the 4eorgian 'atter and decided to co'e out o0en%# with a !tate'ent. It i! hard to !a# what !hocked =enin 'o!t B $ta%in>! 0er!ona% di!%o#a%t# or hi! rough and ureaucratic 0o%ic# on the nationa% Cue!tion. Pro a %# it wa! a co' ination of oth. =enin wa! getting read# for the !trugg%e3 ut he wa! afraid that he wou%d not e a %e to !0eak at the congre!!3 and thi! worried hi'. 5h# not ta%k the 'atter over with 6inoviev or Ka'enevE B hi! !ecretarie! ke0t 0ro'0ting hi'. )ut =enin waved the' a!ide i'0atient%#. Ae fore!aw that if he withdrew fro' activit#3 6inoviev and Ka'enev wou%d @oin $ta%in to 'ake u0 a trio again!t 'e3 and thu! wou%d etra# hi'. 98o #ou ha00en to know +rot!k#>! attitude on the 4eorgian Cue!tionE? =enin a!k!. 91t the 0%enar# 'eeting3 +rot!k# !0oke in agree'ent with #our view!3? an!wer! 4%a!!er3 who acted a! the !ecretar# at the 'eeting. 91re #ou !ureE? 9Suite. +rot!k# accu!ed Ord-honikid-e3 (oro!hi%ov and Ka%inin of fai%ing to under!tand the nationa% Cue!tion.?

9(erif# it again3? =enin de'and!. +he ne/t da#3 at the 'eeting of the *entra% *o''ittee at '# hou!e3 4%a!!er handed 'e a note with a rief !u''ar# of '# !0eech of the da# efore3 conc%uding with the Cue!tion& 98id I under!tand #ou correct%#E? 95hat do #ou want it forE? I a!ked. 9For (%adi'ir I%#ich3? 4%a!!er an!wered. ?Ye!3 thi! i! correct3? I re0%ied. In the 'ean ti'e3 $ta%in watched our corre!0ondence with a%ar'3 ut at that 'o'ent I wa! !ti%% unaware of what it wa! a%% a out. 91fter he read '# corre!0ondence with #ou3? 4%a!!er to%d 'e afterward3 9(%adi'ir I%#ich fair%# !hone ... PNow3 it i! a different 'atter.> 1nd he in!tructed 'e to hand over to #ou a%% the 'anu!cri0t! that were to 'ake 0art of hi! bo#b for the twe%fth congre!!.? =enin>! intention! now were Cuite c%ear to 'eD # taking the e/a'0%e of $ta%in>! 0o%ic# he wanted to e/0o!e to the 0art#3 and ruth%e!!%#3 the danger of the ureaucratic tran!for'ation of the dictator!hi0. 9+o<'orrow Ka'enev i! going to 4eorgia for the 0art# conference3? I !aid to Foti#eva. 9I can acCuaint hi' with =enin>! 'anu!cri0t! !o a! to induce hi' to act 0ro0er%# in 4eorgia. 1!k (%adi'ir I%#ich a out it.? 1 Cuarter of an hour %ater3 Foti#eva returned out of reath& 9Hnder no circu'!tance!.? 95h#E? 9(%adi'ir I%#ich !a#!& PKa'enev wi%% i''ediate%# !how ever# thing to $ta%in3 and $ta%in wi%% 'ake a rotten co'0ro'i!e and then deceive.> 9+hen the thing ha! gone !o far that (%adi'ir I%#ich no %onger think! that we can co'0ro'i!e with $ta%in even on the right %ineE? 9Ye!3 he doe! not tru!t $ta%in3 and want! to co'e out again!t hi' o0en%#3 efore the entire 0art#. Ae i! 0re0aring a o' .? 1 out an hour after thi! conver!ation3 Foti#eva ca'e to 'e again with a note fro' =enin addre!!ed to an o%d revo%utionar#3 "divani3 and to other o00onent! of $ta%in>! 0o%ic# in 4eorgia. =enin wrote to the'& 9I a' watching #our ca!e with a%% '# heart and !ou%. Ord-honikid-e>! rough 'ethod! and $ta%in>! and 8-er-hin!k#>! encourage'ent fi%% 'e with indignation. I a' 0re0aring note! and a !0eech for #ou.? +he co0# of the note wa! addre!!ed not on%# to 'e3 ut to Ka'enev a! we%%. +hi! !ur0ri!ed 'e. 9+hen (%adi'ir I%#ich ha! changed hi! 'indE? I a!ked. 9Ye!3 hi! condition i! getting wor!e ever# hour. You 'u!t not e%ieve the rea!!uring !tate'ent! of the doctor!. Ae can !0eak now on%# with difficu%t# ... +he 4eorgian Cue!tion worrie! hi' terri %#. Ae i! afraid he wi%% co%%a0!e efore he can undertake an#thing. 5hen handing 'e thi! note he !aid& P)efore it i! too %ate ... I a' o %iged to co'e out o0en%# efore the 0ro0er ti'eJ>?

9)ut thi! 'ean! that now I can ta%k to Ka'enevE? 9O viou!%#.? 91!k hi' to co'e to !ee 'e.? Ka'enev ca'e an hour %ater. Ae wa! co'0%ete%# at !ea. +he idea of a trio B $ta%in3 6inoviev3 Ka'enev B had %ong een e!ta %i!hed. +heir !0ear0oint wa! directed at 'e. +he who%e 0%an of the con!0irator! wa! that after the# had 'u!tered enough !u00ort in the organi-ation!3 the# wou%d e crowned %egiti'ate !ucce!!or! to =enin. +he %itt%e note cut into their 0%an %ike a !har0 wedge. Ka'enev did not know what to do3 and ad'itted it to 'e Cuite frank%#. I gave hi' =enin>! 'anu!cri0t to read over. Ka'enev wa! an e/0erienced enough 0o%itician to under!tand at once that for =enin the Cue!tion wa! not on%# one of 4eorgia ut of $ta%in>! entire rF%e in the 0art#. Ka'enev gave 'e !o'e additiona% fact!. Ae had @u!t een to !ee Nad#e-hda Kon!tantinovna Kru0!ka#a3 at her reCue!t. $he to%d hi' in great a%ar'& 9(%adi'ir ha! @u!t dictated to hi! !tenogra0her a %etter to $ta%in !a#ing that he reak! off a%% re%ation! with hi'.? +he i''ediate cau!e of thi! wa! of a !e'i<0er!ona% character. $ta%in had een tr#ing to i!o%ate =enin fro' a%% !ource! of infor'ation3 and in thi! connection had een ver# rude to Nad#e-hda Kon!tantinovna. 9)ut #ou know (%adi'ir3? Kru0!ka#a added. 9Ae wou%d never have decided to reak off 0er!ona% re%ation! if he had not thought it nece!!ar# to cru!h $ta%in 0o%itica%%#.? Ka'enev wa! Cuite 0a%e and agitated. +he ground wa! !%i00ing awa# under hi! feet. Ae did not know what to do ne/t3 or which wa# to turn. It i! Cuite %ike%# that he wa! !i'0%# afraid of '# acting in an unfriend%# wa# toward hi'. I gave hi' '# o0inion of the !ituation. 9$o'eti'e!3? I !aid3 9out of fear of an i'aginar# danger3 0eo0%e are ca0a %e of ringing rea% danger down u0on the'!e%ve!. ,e'e' er3 and te%% other! that the %a!t thing I want i! to !tart a fight at the congre!! for an# change! in organi-ation. I a' for 0re!erving the !tatu!Cuo. If =enin get! on hi! feet efore the congre!!3 of which there i! unfortunate%# %itt%e chance3 he and I wi%% di!cu!! the 'atter together anew. I a' again!t re'oving $ta%in3 and e/0e%%ing Ord-honikid-e3 and di!0%acing 8-er-hin!k# fro' the co''i!!ariat of tran!0ort. )ut I do agree with =enin in !u !tance. I want a radica% change in the 0o%ic# on the nationa% Cue!tion3 a di!continuance of 0er!ecution! of the 4eorgian o00onent! of $ta%in3 a di!continuance of the ad'ini!trative o00re!!ion of the 0art#3 a fir'er 0o%ic# in 'atter! of indu!tria%i-ation3 and an hone!t co<o0eration in the higher centre!. On the nationa% Cue!tion the $ta%in re!o%ution i! good for nothing. It 0%ace! the high handed and in!o%ent o00re!!ion # the do'inant nation on the !a'e %eve% with the 0rote!t and re!i!tance of !'a%%3 weak and ackward nationa%itie!. I gave '# re!o%ution the for' of a'end'ent! to $ta%in>! to 'ake it ea!ier for hi' to a%ter hi! %ine of 0o%ic#. )ut there 'u!t e an i''ediate and radica% change. In addition3 it i! nece!!ar# that $ta%in !hou%d write to Kru0!ka#a at once to a0o%ogi-e for hi! rudene!!3 and that he revi!e hi! ehavior. =et hi' not overreach hi'!e%f. +here !hou%d e no 'ore intrigue!3 ut hone!t co<o0eration. 1nd #ou3? and here I turned to Ka'enev3 9when #ou are at the conference at +if%i!3 'u!t arrange a co'0%ete rever!a% of the 0o%ic# toward =enin>! 4eorgian !u00orter! on the nationa% Cue!tion.? Ka'enev gave a !igh of re%ief. Ae acce0ted a%% '# 0ro0o!a%!. Ai! on%# fear wa! that $ta%in wou%d e o !tinate& 9Ae>! rude and ca0riciou!.?

9I don>t think3? I an!wered3 9that $ta%in ha! an# a%ternative now.? =ate that night Ka'enev infor'ed 'e that he had een to !ee $ta%in in the countr#3 and that $ta%in had acce0ted a%% the ter'!. Kru0!ka#a had a%read# received hi! %etter of a0o%og#3 ut !he cou%d not !how it to =enin3 for hi! condition had grown wor!e. I gained the i'0re!!ion3 however3 that Ka'enev>! tone wa! different fro' that at our 0arting a few hour! ear%ier. It wa! not unti% %ater that I rea%i-ed that the change wa! the re!u%t of =enin>! 'ore !eriou! condition. On hi! wa# to +if%i!3 or i''ediate%# after hi! arriva%3 Ka'enev received fro' $ta%in a te%egra' in code te%%ing hi' that =enin wa! 0ara%#-ed again3 and una %e to !0eak or write. 1t the 4eorgian conference3 Ka'enev carried out $ta%in>! 0o%ic# again!t =enin>!. *e'ented # 0er!ona% treacher#3 the trio had eco'e a fact. =enin>! offen!ive wa! directed not on%# again!t $ta%in 0er!on a%%#3 ut again!t hi! entire !taff3 and3 fir!t of a%%3 hi! a!!i!tant!3 8-er-hin!k# and Ord-honikid-e. )oth of the' are 'entioned con!tant%# in =enin>! corre!0ondence on the 4eorgian Cue!tion. 8-er-hin!k# wa! a 'an of great and e/0%o!ive 0a!!ion. Ai! energ# wa! he%d at a high 0itch # con!tant e%ectric di!charge!. In ever# di!cu!!ion3 even of thing! of 'inor i'0ortance3 he wou%d fire u03 hi! no!tri%! wou%d Cuiver3 hi! e#e! wou%d !0ark%e3 and hi! voice wou%d e !o !trained that often it wou%d reak. Yet3 in !0ite of thi! high nervou! ten!ion3 8-er-hin!k# had no a0athetic interva%!. Ae wa! a%wa#! in that !a'e !tate of ten!e 'o i%i-ation. =enin once co'0ared hi' to a !0irited thorough red. 8-er-hin!k# fe%% in %ove3 in a 'ad infatuation3 with ever#thing he did3 and guarded hi! a!!ociate! fro' critici!' and interference with a 0a!!ionate fanatici!' that had no e%e'ent of the 0er!ona% in it3 for he wa! co'0%ete%# di!!o%ved in hi! work. 8-er-hin!k# had no o0inion! of hi! own. Ae never thought of hi'!e%f a! a 0o%itician3 at %ea!t whi%e =enin wa! a%ive. On variou! occa!ion!3 he !aid to 'e& 9I a' not a ad revo%utionar#3 0erha0!3 ut I a' no %eader3 !tate!'an or 0o%itician.? +hi! wa! not 'ere 'ode!t#D hi! !e%f< a00rai!a% wa! e!!entia%%# right. In 0o%itica% 'atter!3 8-er-hin!k# a%wa#! needed !o'e one>! i''ediate guidance. For 'an# #ear! he had fo%%owed ,o!a =u/e' urg and with her had gone through not on%# the !trugg%e again!t Po%i!h 0atrioti!'3 ut that again!t )o%!hevi!' a! we%%. In 191; he @oined the )o%!hevik!. =enin !aid to 'e with great @o#3 9No trace! of the o%d fight are %eft.? 8uring the fir!t two or three #ear!3 8-er-hin!k# wa! e!0ecia%%# drawn to 'e. In hi! %a!t #ear!3 he !u00orted $ta%in. In hi! econo'ic work3 he acco'0%i!hed thing! through !heer te'0era'ent B a00ea%ing3 urging3 and %ifting 0eo0%e off their feet # hi! own enthu!ia!'. Ae had no con!idered idea! a out econo'ic deve%o0'ent. Ae !hared a%% $ta%in>! error! and defended the' with a%% the 0a!!ion of which he wa! ca0a %e. Ae died 0ractica%%# on hi! feet3 @u!t after he had %eft the 0%atfor' fro' which he had !o 0a!!ionate%# een denouncing the o00o!ition. $ta%in>! other a%%#3 Ord-honikid-e3 =enin thought it nece!!ar# to e/0e% fro' the 0art# ecau!e of hi! ureaucratic high<handedne!! in the *auca!u!. I argued again!t it. =enin an!wered 'e through hi! !ecretar#& 91t %ea!t for two #ear!.? Aow %itt%e cou%d he i'agine at that ti'e that Ord-honikid-e wou%d eco'e head of the *ontro% *o''i!!ion that =enin wa! 0%anning to create to fight $ta%in>! ureaucrac#3 and which wa! to e' od# the con !cience of the 0art#. 1!ide fro' it! genera% 0o%itica% ai'!3 the ca'0aign that =enin o0ened had a! it! i''ediate o @ect the creation of the e!t condition! for '# work of direction3 either !ide # !ide with hi' if he regained hi! hea%th3 or in hi! 0%ace if he !uccu' ed to hi! i%%ne!!. )ut the !trugg%e3 which wa! never carried out to it! end3 or even 0art wa#3 had e/act%# an o00o!ite re!u%t. =enin 'an aged

on%# to declare war again!t $ta%in and hi! a%%ie!3 and even thi! wa! known on%# to tho!e who were direct%# invo%ved in it3 and not to the 0art# a! a who%e. $ta%in>! faction B at that ti'e it wa! !ti%% the faction of the trio B c%o!ed it! rank! 'ore tight%# after the fir!t warning. +he indefinite !ituation continued. $ta%in !tood at the he%' of the a00aratu!. 1rtificia% !e%ection wa! carried on there at a 'ad 0ace. +he weaker the trio fe%t in 'atter! of 0rinci0%e3 the 'ore the# feared 'e B ecau!e the# wanted to get rid of 'e B and the tighter the# had to o%t a%% the !crew! and nut! in the !tate and 0art# !#!te'. "uch %ater3 in 19I53 )ukharin !aid to 'e3 in an!wer to '# critici!' of the 0art# o00re!!ion& 95e have no de'ocrac# ecau!e we are afraid of #ou.? 97u!t #ou tr# to !to0 eing afraid3? I 0roffered # wa# of advice3 9and %et u! work 0ro0er%#.? )ut '# advice wa! vain. +he #ear 19I3 wa! the fir!t #ear of the inten!e ut !ti%% !i%ent !tif%ing and routing of the )o%!hevi!t 0art#. =enin wa! !trugg%ing with hi! terri %e i%%ne!!. +he trio were !trugg%ing with the 0art#. +he at'o!0here wa! charged3 and toward autu'n the ten!ion re!o%ved it!e%f into a 9di!cu!!ion? of the o00o!ition. +he !econd cha0ter of the revo%ution had egun B the fight again!t +rot!k#i!'. In rea%it#3 it wa! a fight again!t the ideo%ogica% %egac# of =enin.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <L

T3( %&')P0!A%4 &F T3( (P07&'()

It wa! the ear%# week! of 19I33 and the twe%fth congre!! wa! drawing near. +here re'ained %itt%e ho0e that =enin cou%d take 0art in it. +he Cue!tion of who wa! to 'ake the 0rinci0a% 0o%itica% re0ort aro!e. 1t the 'eeting of the Po%it ureau3 $ta%in !aid3 9+rot!k#3 of cour!e.? Ae wa! in!tant%# !u00orted # Ka%inin3 ,#kov3 and3 o viou!%# again!t hi! wi%%3 # Ka'enev. I o @ected. 9+he 0art# wi%% e i%% at ea!e if an# one of u! !hou%d atte'0t3 a! it were 0er!ona%%#3 to take the 0%ace of the !ick =enin. +hi! ti'e %et u! 'anage without an introductor# 0o%itica% re0ort3 and !a# what we have to !a# in connection with the !e0arate ite'! of the agenda. )e!ide!3? I added3 9there are difference! etween u! on econo'ic Cue!tion!.? 9I don>t !ee an# difference!3? $ta%in re0%ied3 whi%e Ka%inin added& 9On a%'o!t a%% Cue!tion!3 the Po%it ureau ado0t! #our 0ro0o!a%!.? 6inoviev wa! on %eave in the *auca!u!. +he Cue!tion re'ained undecided. 1t an# rate3 I agreed to re0ort on indu!tr#. $ta%in knew that a !tor' wa! 'enacing hi' fro' =enin>! direction3 and tried in ever# wa# to ingratiate hi'!e%f with 'e. Ae ke0t re0eating that the 0o%itica% re0ort !hou%d e 'ade # the 'o!t

inf%uentia% and 0o0u%ar 'e' er of the *entra% *o''ittee after =enin& i.e.3 +rot!k#3 and that the 0art# e/0ected it and wou%d not under!tand an#thing e%!e. In hi! feigned at te'0t! at friend%ine!!3 he !ee'ed even 'ore a%ien than in hi! frank e/hi ition! of en'it#3 the 'ore !o ecau!e hi! 'otive! were !o o viou!. 6inoviev !oon returned fro' the *auca!u!. 1t that ti'e3 ver# c%o!e factiona% conference! were continua%%# eing he%d ehind '# ack. 6inoviev de'anded that he e a%%owed to 'ake the 0o%itica% re0ort. Ka'enev wa! a!king the 9o%d )o%!hevik!3? the 'a@orit# of who' had at !o'e ti'e %eft the 0art# for ten or fifteen #ear!& 91re we to a%%ow +rot!k# to eco'e the one 0er!on e'0owered to direct the 0art# and the !tateE? +he# egan 'ore freCuent%# to rake u0 '# 0a!t and '# o%d di!agree'ent! with =eninD it eca'e 6inoviev>! !0ecia%t#. In the 'eanti'e3 =enin>! condition took a !har0 turn for the wor!e3 !o that danger no %onger threatened there. +he trio decided that the 0o%itica% re0ort !hou%d e 'ade # 6inoviev. I rai!ed no o @ection when3 after due 0re0aration ehind the !cene!3 the Cue!tion wa! 0ut efore the Po%it ureau. Ever#thing ore the !ta'0 of a te'0orar# arrange'ent. No di!agree'ent! were 'anife!t3 @u!t a! no inde0endent %ine cou%d e found an#where in the 0o%ic# of the trio. "# the!e! on indu!tr# were at fir!t acce0ted without di!cu!!ion. )ut when it !ee'ed certain that there wa! no 0ro!0ect of =enin>! returning to work3 the trio 'ade a !har0 a out<face3 frightened # the too 0eacefu% 0re0aration! for the congre!!. It wa! %ooking now for a chance to %ine it!e%f u0 again!t 'e in the u00er circ%e of the 0art#. 1t the %a!t 'o'ent efore the congre!!3 Ka'enev 0ro0o!ed the addition of a c%au!e a out the 0ea!antr# to '# re!o%ution3 which had a%read# een a00roved. +here wou%d e no !en!e in dwe%%ing on the !u @ect<'atter of thi! a'end'ent3 which had no theoretica% or 0o%itica% i'0ortance3 ut wa! de!igned a! an act of 90rovocation3? to 0rovide the a!i! for accu!ation! B !o far3 on%# ehind the !cene! B of '# 9under a00reciation? of the 0ea!antr#. +hree #ear! after hi! reak with $ta%in3 Ka'enev3 with hi! characteri!tic good<hu'ored c#nici!'3 to%d 'e how the# had cooked u0 thi! accu!ation3 which of cour!e none of it! author! took !eriou!%#. +o o0erate with a !tract 'ora% criteria in 0o%itic! i! notoriou!%# ho0e%e!!. Po%itica% 'ora%! 0roceed fro' 0o%itic! it!e%f3 and are one of it! function!. On%# a 0o%itic! that !erve! a great hi!torica% ta!k can in!ure it!e%f 'ora%%# irre0roacha %e 'ethod!. On the contrar#3 the %owering of the %eve% of 0o%itica% ai'! inevita %# %ead! to 'ora% dec%ine. Figaro3 a! ever# one know!3 refu!ed to differentiate at a%% etween 0o%itic! and intrigue. 1nd he %ived efore the advent of the era of 0ar%ia'entari!'J 5hen the 'ora%i!t! of the ourgeoi! de'ocrac# atte'0t to 0erceive the !ource of ad 0o%itica% 'ora%! in revo%utionar# dictator!hi0 a! !uch3 one can on%# !hrug one>! !hou%der! co'0a!!ionate%#. It wou%d e ver# in!tructive to 'ake a cine'atic record of 'ode' 0ar%ia'entari!'3 if ut for a !ing%e #ear. )ut the ca'era !hou%d e 0%aced not a%ong!ide the 0re!ident of the cha' er of de0utie! at the 'o'ent when a 0atriotic re!o%ution i! eing ado0ted3 ut in Cuite other 0%ace!& in the office! of anker! and indu!tria%i!t!3 in the 0rivate roo'! of editoria% office!3 in the 0a%ace! of the 0rince! of the church3 in the !a%on! of 0o%itica% %adie!3 in the 'ini!trie! B and3 with it3 %et the e#e of the ca'era record a%!o the !ecret corre!0ondence of the 0art# %eader!. On the other hand3 it wou%d e 0erfect%# right to !a# that ver# different de'and! !hou%d e i'0o!ed on the 0o%itica% 'ora%! of a revo%utionar# dictator!hi0 and on tho!e of 0ar%ia'entari!'. +he !har0ne!! of the wea0on! and 'ethod! of dictator!hi0 de'and! watchfu% anti!e0tic!. 1 dirt# !%i00er i! nothing to fear3 ut an unc%ean ra-or i! ver# dangerou!. +he ver# 'ethod! of the 9trio? were3 in '# e#e!3 a !ign of 0o%itica% ack!%iding.

+he chief difficu%t# that the con!0irator! faced wa! that of co'ing out o0en%# again!t 'e efore the 'a!!e! of the 0eo0%e. +he worker! knew 6inoviev and Ka'enev3 and %i!tened to the' readi%#. )ut their ehavior during 191; wa! !ti%% too fre!h in ever# one>! 'e'or#. +he# had no 'ora% authorit# in the 0art#. $ta%in3 e#ond the narrow circ%e of the o%d )o%!hevik!3 wa! a% 'o!t unknown. $o'e of '# friend! u!ed to !a# to 'e& 9+he# wi%% never dare to co'e out again!t #ou in the o0en. In the 'ind! of the 0eo0%e #ou are too in!e0ara %# ound to =enin>! na'e. It i! i'0o!!i %e to era!e the Octo er revo%ution3 or the ,ed ar'#3 or the civi% war.? I did not agree with thi!. In 0o%itic!3 and e!0ecia%%# in revo%utionar# 0o%itic!3 0o0u%ar na'e! of acknow%edged authorit# 0%a# a ver# i'0ortant3 !o'eti'e! gigantic3 ut #et not deci!ive 0art. In the fina% ana%#!i!3 the fate of 0er!ona% authorit# i! deter'ined # the dee0er 0roce!!e! going on in the 'a!!e!. 8uring the ri!ing tide of the revo%ution the !%ander! again!t the )o%!hevi!t %eader! on%# !trengthened the )o%!hevi!t!. 8uring the e tide of the revo%ution the !%ander! again!t the !a'e 'en were a %e to 0rovide the wea0on! of victor# for the +her'idorian reaction. +he o @ective 0roce!!e! in the countr# and in the wor%d arena were he%0ing '# o00onent!. )ut their ta!k neverthe%e!! wa! no ea!# one. +he %iterature3 0re!! and agitator! of the 0art# were !ti%% %iving on the 'e'orie! of the 0receding da#! 0a!!ed under the !ign of =enin and +rot!k#. It wa! nece!!ar# to turn a%% thi! around 1G2 degree!3 not at once3 of cour!e3 ut # !evera% !tage!. +o !how the e/tent of the turn3 one 'u!t give at %ea!t a few i%%u!tration! of the 0revai%ing tone of the 0art# 0re!! toward the %eading figure! of the revo%ution. On Octo er 1T3 19II3 at the ti'e when =enin had a%read# returned to work after hi! fir!t !troke3 ,adek wrote in the Pra da& 9If *o'rade =enin 'a# e ca%%ed the rea!on of the revo%ution3 do'inating through hi! tran!'i!!ion of wi%%3 *o'rade +rot!k# 'a# e characteri-ed a! the iron wi%% rid%ed # rea!on. +rot!k#>! !0eech !ounded %ike a e%% !u''oning to work. 1%% it! i'0ortance3 a%% it! 'eaning3 a! we%% a! the 'eaning of our work during the %a!t few #ear!3 a00ear! ver# dear%#.? 1nd !o forth. It i! true that ,adek>! 0er!ona% e/u erance eca'e a # wordD he wa! ca0a %e of !a#ing one thing and @u!t a! ca0a %e of fo%%owing it with another. "uch 'ore i'0ortant i! the fact that the!e %ine! were 0rinted in the centra% organ of the 0art# whi%e =enin wa! !ti%% a%ive without @arring on an# one>! ear!. In 19I33 with the con!0irac# of the trio a%read# a fact3 =u nachar!k# wa! one of the fir!t to tr# to rai!e 6inoviev>! 0re! tige. )ut how did he !et a out hi! workE 9Of cour!e3? he wrote in hi! character !ketch of 6inoviev3 9=enin and +rot!k# have e co'e the 'o!t 0o0u%ar (whether %oved or hated) 0er!ona%itie! of our e0och3 0erha0! of the who%e wor%d. 6inoviev !o'ewhat re cede! efore the'3 ut then =enin and +rot!k# had for !o %ong een regarded in our rank! a! 'en of !uch great gift!3 a! !uch undi!0uted %eader!3 that no one wa! 'uch !ur0ri!ed at their a'a-ing growth during the revo%ution.? If I Cuote the!e 0o'0ou! 0aneg#ric! in !o'ewhat dou tfu% ta!te3 I do it on%# ecau!e I need the' a! e%e'ent! in the genera% 0icture3 or3 if #ou %ike3 a! evidence for a court tria%. It re0e%! 'e to have to Cuote #et a third witne!!3 Yaro!%av!k#3 who!e 0ane g#ric! are 0erha0! even 'ore in!uffera %e than hi! ca%u'nie!. +hi! 'an now 0%a#! a 'o!t i'0ortant rQ%e in the 0art#3 'ea!ur ing # hi! in!ignificant !tature the de0th of the downfa%% of it! %eader!hi0. Yaro!%av!k# ro!e to hi! 0re!ent 0o!ition entire%# # hi! !%andering of 'e. 1! the officia% corru0ter of the hi!tor# of the 0art#3 he re0re!ent! the 0a!t a! an un roker. !trugg%e of +rot!k# again!t =enin. It goe! without

!a#ing that +rot!k# 9under<a00reciated? the 0ea!antr#3 9ignored? the 0ea!antr#3 9did not notice? the 0ea!antr#. )ut in Fe ruar# of 19I3 B that i!3 at a ti'e when Yaro!%av!k# 'u!t a%read# have een fa'i%iar with '# re%ation! to =enin and '# view! on the 0ea!antr#3 in a %ong artic%e dea%ing with the fir!t !te0! of '# %iterar# activit# (the #ear! 1922<192I) he characteri-ed '# 0a!t in the fo%%owing wa#& 9+he ri%%iant work of *o'rade +rot!k# a! a writer and 0u %i ci!t ha! earned hi' the wor%d<na'e of >0rince of 0a'0hieteer!3> a! he wa! ca%%ed # the Eng%i!h author3 4eorge )ernard $haw. +ho!e who have watched hi! activit# for a Cuarter of a centur#3 wi%% find that hi! ta%ent !hone with 0articu%ar rightne!!. L"I$$IN4 P1$$14EE) and !o on and !o forth. 9"an# reader! 'u!t have !een the 'uch<re0roduced 0hotogra0h of the #outhfu% +rot!k# ... etc. Hnder thi! high forehead there wa! a%read# !eething even then a !tor'# f%ow of i'age!3 thought!3 and i'0re!!ion! which !o'eti'e! car ried *o'rade +rot!k# a it awa# fro' the highroad of hi!tor#3 at ti'e! either forcing hi' to choo!e 0ath! too rounda out or3 on the contrar#3 to atte'0t fear%e!!%# to reak through where no 0ath wa! 0o!!i %e. )ut in a%% the!e effort! to find the right wa#3 we had efore u! a 'an 0rofound%# devoted to the revo %ution3 'atured for the rF%e of a tri une3 with a tongue a! !har0 and f%e/i %e a! !tee%3 that cut! down the o00onent ...? 1nd !o forth. 9+he $i erian! were carried awa# with enthu!ia!'3? Yaro!%av!k# gu!he! with an e/ce!! of -ea%3 9after reading the!e ri%%iant artic%e!3 and waited i'0atient%# for their a00earance. On%# a few knew their author3 and tho!e who knew +rot!k# were the %a!t to i'agine at that ti'e that he wou%d e one of the recogni-ed %eader! of the 'o!t revo%utionar# ar'# and the greate!t revo%ution in the wor%d.? +he ca!e of '# ignoring the 0ea!antr# fare!3 if 0o!!i %e3 even wor!e at the hand! of Yaro!%av!k#. +he fir!t of '# %iterar# work! wa! dedicated to the 0ea!ant!. Aere i! what Yaro!%av!k# !a#! a out it& 9+rot!k# cou%d not !ta# in a $i erian vi%%age without e/0%oring a%% the 0ett# detai%! of it! %ife. Fir!t of a%%3 he turn! hi! attention to the ad'ini!trative 'achiner# of the $i erian vi%%age. In a !erie! of artic%e!3 he give! a ri%%iant characteri-ation of thi! 'achiner# ...? 1nd farther on& 91round hi'!e%f3 +rot!k# !aw on%# the vi%%age. Ae !uffered over it! need!. Ae wa! o00re!!ed # it! enighted condition3 it! out%awr#.? Yaro!%av!k# de'and! that '# artic%e! on countr# %ife e inc%uded in the te/t ook!. 1%% thi! in Fe ruar#3 19I33 the !a'e 'onth when the ver!ion of '# inattention to the countr# wa! eing created for the fir!t ti'e. )ut Yaro!%av!k# wa! then in $i eria3 and therefore not #et we%% infor'ed a out the new 9=enini!'.? +he %a!t e/a'0%e that I want to Cuote concern! $ta%in hi'!e%f. 1! ear%# a! the occa!ion of the fir!t anniver!ar# of the revo%ution3 he wrote an artic%e which3 though di!gui!ed3 wa! directed !traight at 'e. In e/0%anation3 one 'u!t re'e' er that during the 0re0aration for the Octo er in!urrection3 =enin wa! hiding in Fin%andD Ka'enev3 6inoviev3 ,#kov3 and Ka%inin were o0 0o!ed to an u0ri!ing3 and no one knew an#thing a out $ta%in. 1! a re!u%t3 the 0art# connected the Octo er revo%ution chief%# with '# na'e. 8uring the fir!t anniver!ar# of the Octo er revo%ution3

$ta%in 'ade an atte'0t to weaken thi! i'0re!!ion # !etting u0 again!t 'e the genera% %eader!hi0 # the *entra% *o''ittee. )ut to 'ake hi! account at a%% acce0ta %e3 he wa! o %iged to write& 9+he entire work of the 0ractica% organi-ation of the u0ri!ing wa! carried on under the i''ediate direction of the chair'an of the Petrograd $oviet3 +rot!k#. One 'a# !tate without he!itation that the 0art# wa! inde ted fir!t and fore'o!t to *o'rade +rot!k# for the garri!on>! 0ro'0t going over to the $oviet and for the a %e organi-ation of the work of the "i%itar# ,evo%utionar# *o''ittee.? If $ta%in wrote in thi! vein3 it wa! ecau!e at that ti'e even he cou%d not write in an# other wa#. It needed #ear! of un rid%ed aiting efore $ta%in cou%d venture to !tate in 0u %ic& 9*o'rade +rot!k# did not and cou%d not 0%a# an# !0ecia% ro%e either in the 0art# or in the Octo er revo%ution.? 5hen the contradiction wa! 0ointed out to hi'3 he re0%ied # 'ere%# redou %ing hi! rudene!!. +he 9trio? cou%d under no circu'!tance! 0it it!e%f again!t 'e. It cou%d 0it again!t 'e on%# =enin. )ut for thi! it wa! nece!!ar# that =enin hi'!e%f no %onger e a %e to o00o!e the trio. In other word!3 the !ucce!! of their ca'0aign reCuired either a =enin who wa! fata%%# i%%3 or hi! e' a%'ed cor0!e in a 'au!o%eu'. )ut even thi! wa! not enough. It wa! nece!!ar# that I too e out of the fighting rank! during the ca'0aign. +hi! ha00ened in the fa%% of 19I3. I a' not dea%ing here with the 0hi%o!o0h# of hi!tor#3 ut re counting '# %ife again!t the ackground of the event! with which it wa! ound u0. )ut I cannot he%0 noting how o %iging%# the accidenta% he%0! the hi!torica% %aw. )road%# !0eaking3 the entire hi!torica% 0roce!! i! a refraction of the hi!torica% %aw through the accidenta%. In the %anguage of io%og#3 one 'ight !a# that the hi!torica% %aw i! rea%i-ed through the natura% !e%ection of accident!. On thi! foundation3 there deve%o0! that con!ciou! hu'an activit# which !u @ect! accident! to a 0roce!! of artificia% !e%ection. )ut at thi! 0oint3 I 'u!t interru0t '# account to te%% !o'e thing a out '# friend Ivan (a!%%#evich 6a#t-ev3 fro' the vi%%age of Ka%o!hino3 on the river 8u na. +hi! %oca%it# i! known a! 6a o%ot#e ()e#ond the $wa'0!)3 and3 a! it! na'e !ugge!t!3 i! rich in wi%d ga'e. Aere the river 8u na f%ood! the countr# over wide area!. $wa'0!3 %ake!3 and !ha%%ow 'ar!he!3 fra'ed # reed!3 !tretch a%ong in a wide ri on for a%'o!t fort# ki%o'etre!. In the !0ring3 the 0%ace i! vi!ited # gee!e3 !tork!3 duck! of a%% kind!3 cur%ew3 !ni0e3 and a%% the re!t of the !wa'0 rotherhood. +wo ki%o'etre! awa# in the !'a%% wood!3 etween hu''ock! of 'o!!3 woodcock! are c%ucking over the red i% err# !hru !. 5ith a !ing%e !hort oar3 Ivan (a!i%#evich drive! hi! ho%%ow canoe a%ong the narrow furrow etween the ank! of !wa'0. +he furrow had een dug no one know! when3 0erha0! two or three hundred #ear! or even %onger ago3 and it 'u!t e dredged out ever# #ear to 0revent it! eing !ucked in. 5e are o %iged to %eave Ka%o!hino at 'idnight to get to the tent efore dawn. 5ith ever# !te03 the 0eat og %ift! it! wo %ing e%%#. Once thi! u!ed to frighten 'e. )ut Ivan (a!i%#evich !aid to 'e on '# ver# fir!t vi!it& !te0 with out fear3 0eo0%e do get drowned in the %ake3 ut no od# ha! ever %o!t hi! %ife on the !wa'0.

+he canoe i! !o %ight and !hak# that it i! !afer to %ie on one>! ack 'otion%e!!3 e!0ecia%%# if there i! a wind %owing. )oat'en u!ua%%# !tand on their knee! for !afet#. On%# Ivan (a!i%#evich3 though %a'e in one %eg3 !tand! u0right. Ivan (a!i%#evich i! the duck<%ord of the!e %and!. Ai! father3 hi! grandfather3 and hi! great<grandfather were a%% duck<'en. Pro a %# !o'e ance!tor of hi! !u00%ied duck!3 gee!e3 and !wan! to the ta %e of Ivan the +erri %e. 6a#t-ev ha! no intere!t in 'oorcock!3 woodcock!3 or cur%ew!. 9Not of '# gui%d3? he wi%% !a# cur!ori%#. )ut he know! the duck through and through3 it! feather!3 it! voice3 it! !ou%. $tanding in hi! 'oving oat3 Ivan (a!i%#evich 0ick! u0 fro' the water a feather3 then a !econd and a third3 and after %ooking at the'3 dec%are!& 95e !ha%% go to 4u!hc ino3 the duck re!ted there in the evening.? 9Aow do #ou knowE? 9+he feather3 #ou !ee3 f%oat! on the water3 it i! not !oaked #etD a fre!h feather& the duck wa! f%#ing in the evening3 and there i! no other 0%ace !he cou%d f%# to ut 4u!hchino.? 1nd !o3 wherea! other !0ort!'en ring ack a race or two3 Ivan and I ring five or even eight race!. Ai! the 'erit3 'ine the credit. It often ha00en! !o in %ife. In the reed tent3 Ivan (a!i%#evich wou%d 0ut hi! rough 0a%' to hi! %i0! and egin Cuacking %ike a duck3 !o tender%# that the 'o!t cautiou! drake3 !hot at 'an# a ti'e3 wou%d !uccu' to the !0e%% and co'e !winging around the tent or a%ight 0%o0 on the water a few 0ace! off3 !o that one actua%%# fe%t a!ha'ed to !hoot it. 6a#t-ev notice! ever# thing3 know! ever#thing3 !en!e! ever#thing. 94et read#3? he whi!0er! to 'e3 9the drake i! heading right toward #ou.? I !ee the two co''a! of hi! wing! far off over the wood!3 ut cannot figure out that thi! i! a drake B !uch '#!terie! are o0en on%# to Ivan (a!i%#evich3 the great 'a!ter of the duck<gui%d. )ut the drake i! rea%%# heading toward 'e. If #ou 'i!!3 Ivan (a!i%#evich wi%% e'it a %ow3 0o%ite groan B ut it i! etter never to have een orn than to hear thi! groan ehind #ou. )efore the war3 6a#t-ev worked in a te/ti%e factor#. In the winter he now goe! to "o!cow to work a! a fire'an3 or in a 0ower !tation. 8uring the fir!t #ear! after the revo%ution3 att%e! were going on a%% over the countr#3 wood! and 0eat< og! were urning3 the fie%d! were are3 and the duck! !to00ed f%#ing. 6a#t-ev had hi! dou t! then a out the new regi'e. )ut after 19I23 the duck! ca'e again3 thi! ti'e in horde!3 and Ivan (a!i%#evich fu%%# recogni-ed the $oviet 0ower. 1 out two ki%o'etre! fro' here3 a !'a%% $oviet wick factor# ran for a #ear. It! director wa! the for'er chauffeur of '# 'i%itar# train. 6a#t-ev>! wife and daughter u!ed to ring ho'e a out thirt# rou %e! a 'onth a0iece. +hi! wa! unto%d wea%th. )ut the factor# !oon !u00%ied the who%e di!trict with wick! and then c%o!ed down3 and the duck again eca'e the a!i! of the fa'i%#>! we%%< eing. One "a#da#3 Ivan (a!i%#evich found hi'!e%f in a %arge "o!cow theatre3 a'ong the gue!t! of honor on the !tage. Ivan (a!i%#evich !at in the fir!t row3 with hi! %a'e %eg under hi'3 !howing a %itt%e e' arra!!'ent ut3 a! a%wa#!3 a 'arked dignit#3 and %i!tened to '# re0ort. Ae had een rought there # "ura%ov3 with who' I u!ua%%# !hared the @o#! and !orrow! of ga'e<!hooting. Ivan (a!i%#evich wa! 0%ea!ed with the re0ort3 under!tood a !o%ute%# ever#thing3 and recounted it

a%% ack at Ka%o!hino. +hi! ce'ented the friend!hi0 of the three of u! even 'ore !o%id%#. It !hou%d e noted that the o%d hunter!3 e!0ecia%%# fro' the 0art! near "o!cow3 are a%% !0oi%edD the# ru ed !hou%der! with the great of the earth and are 'a!ter! of f%atter#3 %#ing3 and raggadocio. )ut Ivan (a!i%#evich i! different. Ae ha! a great dea% of !i'0%icit#3 a 0ower of o !ervation3 and 0er!ona% dignit#. It i! ecau!e he i! not at heart a trader3 ut an arti!t. =enin a%!o went hunting with 6a#t-ev3 and Ivan (a!i%#evich wou%d a%wa#! 0oint out the 0%ace in a wooden !hed where =enin had %ain on the ha#. =enin wa! 0a!!ionate%# fond of ga'e hunting3 ut he rare%# went for a hunt. 5hen he did3 he u!ua%%# got e/cited3 in !0ite of hi! great !e%f< contro% in i'0ortant thing!. 7u!t a! great !trategi!t! u!ua%%# are ad che!!<0%a#er!3 !o 'en with a geniu! for 0o%itica% 'ark!'an!hi0 can e 'ediocre !hot!. I re'e' er how =enin3 a%'o!t in de!0air3 a! if con!ciou! of !o'e thing that cou%d never e re0aired3 co'0%ained to 'e of 'i!!ing a fo/ at twent#<five 0ace! in a drive<hunt. I under!tood hi'3 and '# heart !we%%ed with !#'0ath#. =enin and I never had a chance to go hunting together3 though we agreed to do !o and 'ade fir' 0%an! for it 'an# ti'e!. In the fir!t #ear! after the revo%ution3 there wa! genera%%# no ti'e for thi! !ort of thing. =enin occa!iona%%# 'anaged to %eave "o!cow for the o0en !0ace!3 ut I wa! hard%# ever free of the rai%wa# carriage3 the !taff!3 or the auto'o i%e3 and I did not once have a !hotgun in '# hand!. 1nd in the %ater #ear!3 after the end of the civi% war3 !o'ething unfore!een wa! a%wa#! cro00ing u0 to 0revent one or the other of u! fro' kee0ing our agree'ent. =ater on3 =enin>! hea%th egan to give awa#. 1 !hort ti'e efore he wa! %aid %ow3 we arranged to 'eet on the river $ho!ha in +ver 0rovince. )ut =enin>! auto'o i%e got !tuck on the countr# road3 and I waited for hi' in vain. 5hen he recovered fro' hi! fir!t !troke3 he fought in!i!tent%# to go !hooting ga'e. Fina%%# the doctor! #ie%ded3 on the condition that he not overe/ert hi' !e%f. 1t !o'e agrono'ic conference3 =enin !id%ed u0 to "ura%ov. 9You and +rot!k# often go ga'e !hooting together3 don>t #ouE? 9$o'eti'e!.? 91nd do #ou fare we%%E? 9$o'eti'e!.? 9+ake 'e with #ou3 wi%% #ouE? 9)ut are #ou a%%owed to goE? "ura%ov a!k! cautiou!%#. 9Of cour!e I a' a%%owed ... $o #ou wi%% take 'eE? 9Aow can I refu!e to take #ou3 (%adi'ir I%#ichE? 9I>%% give #ou a ring3 !ha%% IE? 95e>%% e %ooking forward to it.?

)ut =enin did not ring. Ai! i%%ne!! rang a !econd ti'e in!tead. +hen death. 1%% thi! digre!!ion ha! een nece!!ar# to e/0%ain how and wh# one of the $unda#! in Octo er3 19I33 found 'e in 6a o%ot#e3 on the og3 a'ong the reed!. +here wa! a !%ight fro!t that night and I !at in the tent in fe%t oot!. )ut in the 'orning the !un wa! war' and the og thawed. +he auto'o i%e wa! waiting for 'e on the ri!e of %and. +he chauffeur3 8av#dov3 with who' I had gone !hou%der<to<!hou%der throughout the entire civi% war3 wa! a! u!ua% con!u'ed with i'0atience to %earn what ga'e I had. Fro' the canoe to the auto'o i%e I had to wa%k a out a hundred !te0!3 not 'ore. )ut the 'o'ent I !te00ed onto the og in '# fe%t oot! '# feet were in co%d water. )# the ti'e I %ea0ed u0 to the auto'o i%e3 '# feet were Cuite co%d. $itting e!ide 8av#dov3 I took off '# oot! and tried to war' '# feet # the heat of the 'otor. )ut the co%d got the etter of 'e. I had to !ta# in ed. 1fter the inf%uen-a3 !o'e cr#0togenic te'0erature !et in. +he doctor! ordered 'e to !ta# in ed3 and thu! I !0ent the re!t of the autu'n and winter. +hi! 'ean! that a%% through the di!cu!!ion of 9+rot!k#i!'? in 19I33 I wa! i%%. One can fore!ee a revo%ution or a war3 ut it i! i'0o!!i %e to fore!ee the con!eCuence! of an autu'n !hooting<tri0 for wi%d duck!. =enin wa! %aid u0 at 4orkiD I wa! in the Kre'%in. +he e0igone! were widening the circ%e of the con!0irac#. 1t fir!t the# 0roceeded cautiou!%# and in!inuating%#3 adding to their 0rai!e ever %arger do!e! of 0oi!on. Even 6inoviev3 the 'o!t i'0atient of the'3 !urrounded hi! !%ander with re!ervation!. 9+he authorit# of *o'rade +rot!k# i! known to ever#one3? 6inoviev wa! !a#ing at the 0art# conference in Petrograd on 8ece' er 153 19I33 9a! we%% a! hi! !ervice!. In our 'id!t3 there i! no need of dwe%%ing on it. )ut error! re'ain error!. 5hen I erred3 the 0art# 0u%%ed 'e u0 !har0%# enough.? 1nd !o on3 in that coward%# #et aggre!!ive tone that wa! for !o %ong the one characteri!tic of the con!0irator!. On%# after a dee0er !ounding of their ground3 and a further occu0#ing of 0o!ition!3 did the# grow o%der. 1 who%e !cience wa! created for fa ricating artificia% re0utation!3 co'0o!ing fanta!tic iogra0hie!3 and oo!ting the a00ointed %eader!. 1 !0ecia% !'a%% !cience wa! devoted to the Cue!tion of the honorar# 0re!idiu'. $ince Octo er3 it had een the cu!to' at the 'eeting! to e%ect =enin and +rot!k# to the honorar# 0re!idiu'. +he co' ination of the!e two na'e! wa! inc%uded in ever#<da# !0eech3 in artic%e!3 0oe'!3 and fo%k<dittie!. It now eca'e nece!!ar# to !e0arate the two na'e!3 at %ea!t 'echanica%%#3 !o that %ater on it 'ight e 0o!!i %e to 0it one again!t the other 0o%itica%%#. Now the 0re!idiu' egan to in chide a%% the 'e' er! of the Po%it ureau. +hen the# egan to e 0%aced on the %i!t in a%0ha etica% order. =ater on3 the a%0ha etica% order wa! a andoned in favor of the new hierarch# of %eader!. +he fir!t 0%ace ca'e to e accorded to 6inoviev B in that Petrograd !et the e/a'0%e. $o'e ti'e %ater3 the honorar# 0re!idiu'! wou%d a00ear here and there without +rot!k# at a%%. $tor'# 0rote!t! fro' the od# of the gathering a%wa#! greeted thi!3 and on occa!ion the chair'an wa! o %iged to e/0%ain the o'i!!ion of '# na'e a! a 'i!take. )ut the new!0a0er re0ort wa! of cour!e !i%ent on thi! 0oint. +hen the fir!t 0%ace egan to e given to $ta%in. If the chair'an wa! not c%ever enough to gue!! what wa! reCuired of hi'3 he wa! invaria %# corrected in the new!0a0er!. *areer! were 'ade and un'ade in accordance with the arrange'ent of na'e! in the honorar# 0re!idiu'. +hi! work3 the 'o!t 0er!i!tent and !#!te'atic of a%%3 wa! @u!tified # the nece!!it# of fighting again!t the 9cu%t of the %eader!.? 1t the "o!cow conference of 7anuar#3 19IT3 Pr#eo ra-hen!k# !aid to the

e0igone!& 9Ye!3 we are again!t the cu%t of the %eader!3 ut we are a%!o again!t 0racti!ing3 in!tead of the cu%t of one %eader3 the cu%t of other! 'ere%# of !'a%%er !tature.? 9+ho!e were hard da#!3? '# wife write! in her 'e'oir!3 9da#! of ten!e fighting for =ev 8av#dovich at the Po%it ureau again!t the re!t of the 'e' er!. Ae wa! a%one and i%%3 and had to fight the' a%%. Owing to hi! i%%ne!!3 the 'eeting! were he%d in our a0art'entD I !at in the ad@oining edroo' and heard hi! !0eeche!. Ae !0oke with hi! who%e eingD it !ee'ed a! if with ever# !uch !0eech he %o!t !o'e of hi! !trength B he !0oke with !o 'uch P %ood.> 1nd in re0%#3 I heard co%d3 indifferent an!wer!. Ever#thing3 of cour!e3 had een decided in advance3 !o what wa! the need of getting e/citedE 1fter each of the!e 'eeting!3 =.8.>! te'0erature 'ountedD he ca'e out of hi! !tud# !oaked through3 and undre!!ed and went to ed. Ai! %inen and c%othe! had to e dried a! if he had een drenched in a rain!tor'. 1t that ti'e3 the 'eeting! were freCuent and were he%d in =.8.>! roo'3 who!e faded3 o%d car0et a00eared in '# drea' ever# night in the !ha0e of a %ive 0anther& the 'eeting! during the da# eca'e night'are!. $uch wa! the fir!t !tage of the !trugg%e e fore it ca'e out into the o0en.? In the %ater !trugg%e # 6inoviev and Ka'enev again!t $ta%in3 the !ecret! of thi! 0eriod were di!c%o!ed # the 'e' er! of the con!0irac# the'!e%ve!. For it wa! a rea% con!0irac#. 1 !ecret 0o%itica% ureau of !even wa! for'edD it co'0ri!ed a%% the 'e' er! of the officia% Po%it ureau e/ce0t 'e3 and inc%uded a%!o Ku# #!hev3 the 0re!ent chair'an of the $u0re'e Econo'ic *ounci%. 1%% Cue!tion! were decided in advance at that !ecret centre3 where the 'e' er! were ound # 'utua% vow!. +he# undertook not to engage in 0o%e'ic! again!t one another and at the !a'e ti'e to !eek o00ortunitie! to attack 'e. +here were !i'i%ar centre! in the %oca% organi-ation!3 and the# were connected with the "o!cow 9!even? # !trict di!ci0%ine. For co''unication3 !0ecia% code! were u!ed. +hi! wa! a we%%<organi-ed i%%ega% grou0 within the 0art#3 directed origina%%# again!t one 'an. ,e!0on!i %e worker! in the 0art# and !tate were !#!te'atica%%# !e%ected # the !ing%e criterion& 1gain!t +rot!k#. 8uring the 0ro%onged 9interregnu'? created # =enin>! i%%ne!!3 thi! work wa! carried on tire%e!!%# ut !ti%% under cover3 !o that in the event of =enin>! recover#3 the 'ined ridge! cou%d e 0re!erved intact. +he con!0irator! acted # hint!. *andidate! for 0o!t! were reCuired to gue!! what wa! wanted of the'. +ho!e who 9gue!!ed? went u0 the %adder. In thi! war a !0ecia% 9careeri!'? wa! deve%o0ed3 which %ater on received una!ha'ed the na'e of 9anti<+rotak#i!'.? =enin>! death freed the con!0irator! and a%%owed the' to co'e out into the o0en. +he 0roce!! of 0er!ona% !e%ection de!cended a rung %ower. It now eca'e i'0o!!i %e to o tain a 0o!t a! director of a 0%ant3 a! !ecretar# of a 0art# %oca%3 a! chair'an of a rura% e/ecutive co''ittee3 a! ookkee0er or t#0i!t3 un%e!! one had 0roved one>! anti<+rot!k#i!'. +he 'e' er! of the 0art# who rai!ed their voice! in 0rote!t again!t thi! con!0irac# eca'e the victi'! of treacherou! attack!3 'ade for rea!on! entire%# re'ote and freCuent%# invented. On the other hand3 the 'ora%%# un!ta %e e%e'ent!3 who were eing 'erci%e!!%# driven out of the 0art# during the fir!t five #ear!3 now !Cuared the'!e%ve! # a !ing%e ho!ti%e re'ark again!t +rot!k#. Fro' the end of 19I33 the !a'e work wa! carried on in a%% the 0artie! of the *o''uni!t Internationa%D certain %eader! were dethroned and other! a00ointed in their !tead !o%e%# on the a!i! of their attitude toward +rot!k#. 1 !trenuou! artificia% !e%ection wa! eing effected3 a !e%ection not of the e!t ut of the 'o!t !uita %e. +he genera% 0o%ic# eca'e one of a re0%ace'ent of inde0endent and gifted 'en # 'ediocritie! who owed their 0o!t! entire%# to the

a00aratu!. It wa! a! the !u0re'e e/0re!!ion of the 'ediocrit# of the a00aratu! that $ta%in hi'!e%f ro!e to hi! 0o!ition.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <L0

L('0'@) D(AT3 A'D T3( )30FT &F P&*(!

I wa! often a!ked3 and even now I !ti%% a' a!ked& 9Aow cou%d #ou %o!e 0owerE? In 'o!t in!tance!3 the Cue!tion cover! a naive conce0tion of %etting !o'e 'ateria% o @ect !%i0 fro' one>! hand!3 a! if %o!ing 0ower were the !a'e thing a! %o!ing a watch or a note ook. )ut a! a 'atter of fact3 when the revo%utionarie! who directed the !ei-ure of 0ower egin at a certain !tage to %o!e it3 whether 0eacefu%%# or through cata!tro0he3 the fact in it!e%f !ignifie! either a dec%ine in the inf%uence of certain idea! and 'ood! in the governing revo%utionar# circ%e!3 or the dec%ine of revo%utionar# 'ood in the 'a!!e! the'!e%ve!. Or it 'a# e oth at the !a'e ti'e. +he %eading grou0! of the 0art# that e'erged fro' underground were in!0ired # the revo%utionar# tendencie! which the %eader! of the fir!t 0eriod of the revo%ution were a %e to for'u%ate c%ear%# and to carr# out co'0%ete%# and !ucce!!fu%%# in 0ractice. It wa! e/act%#. +hu! that 'ade the' the %eader! of the 0art#3 and3 through the 0art#3 %eader! of the working c%a!!3 and3 through the working c%a!!3 %eader! of the countr#. It wa! thu! that certain individua%! had concentrated 0ower in their hand!. )ut the idea! of the fir!t 0eriod of the revo%ution were i'0erce0ti %# %o!ing their inf%uence in the con!ciou!ne!! of the 0art# !tratu' that he%d the direct 0ower over the countr#. In the countr# it!e%f3 0roce!!e! were !ha0ing the'!e%ve! that one 'a# !u' u0 under the genera% na'e of reaction. +he!e e/tended3 in var#ing degree3 to the working c%a!! a! we%%3 inc%uding even it! 0art#. +he !tratu' that 'ade u0 the a00aratu! of 0ower deve%o0ed it! own inde0endent ai'! and tried to !u ordinate the revo%ution to the'. 1 divi!ion egan to revea% it!e%f etween the %eader! who e/0re!!ed the hi!torica% %ine of the c%a!! and cou%d !ee e#ond the a00aratu!3 and the a00aratu! it!e%f B a huge3 cu' rou!3 heterogeneou! thing that ea!i%# !ucked in the average co''uni!t. 1t fir!t thi! divi!ion wa! 'ore 0!#cho%ogica% than 0o%itica% in character. Ye!terda# wa! !ti%% too fre!h in 'ind3 the !%ogan! of Octo er had not had ti'e to vani!h fro' the 'e'or#3 and the authorit# of the %eader! of the fir!t 0eriod wa! !ti%% !trong. )ut under cover of the traditiona% for'!3 a different 0!#cho%og# wa! deve%o0ing. +he internationa% 0ro!0ect! were growing di'. +he ever#da# routine wa! co'0%ete%# a !or ing the 0eo0%e. New 'ethod!3 in!tead of !erving the o%d ai'!3 were creating new one! and3 'o!t of a%%3 a new 0!#cho%og#. In the e#e! of 'an#3 the te'0orar# !ituation egan to !ee' the u%ti'ate goa%. 1 new t#0e wa! eing evo%ved.

In the fina% ana%#!i!3 revo%utionarie! are 'ade of the !a'e !ocia% !tuff a! other 0eo0%e. )ut the# 'u!t have had certain ver# different 0er!ona% Cua%itie! to ena %e the hi!torica% 0roce!! to !e0arate the' fro' the re!t into a di!tinct grou0. 1!!ociation with one another3 theoretica% work3 the !trugg%e under a definite anner3 co%%ective di!ci0%ine3 the hardening under the fire of danger3 the!e thing! gradua%%# !ha0e the revo%utionar# t#0e. It wou%d e 0erfect%# %egiti'ate to !0eak of the 0!#cho%ogica% t#0e of the )o%!hevik in contra!t3 for e/a'0%e3 to that of the "en!hevik. 1n e#e !ufficient%# e/0erienced cou%d te%% a )o%!hevik fro' a "en!hevik even # hi! outward a00earance3 with on%# a !%ight 0ercentage of error. +hi! doe!n>t 'ean3 however3 that a )o%!hevik wa! a%wa#! and in ever#thing a )o%!hevik. +o a !or a certain 0hi%o!o0hic out %ook into one>! f%e!h and %ood3 to 'ake it do'inate one>! con!ciou!ne!!3 and to co<ordinate with it one>! !en!or# wor%d i! given not to ever# one ut to on%# a few. In the working 'a!!e!3 a !u !titute i! found in the c%a!! in!tinct3 which in critica% 0eriod! attain! a high degree of !en!itivene!!. )ut there are 'an# revo%utionarie! in the 0art# and the !tate who co'e fro' the 'a!!e! ut have %ong !ince roken awa# fro' the'3 and who3 ecau!e of their 0o!ition3 are 0%aced in a !e0arate and di!tinct c%a!!. +heir c%a!! in!tinct ha! eva0orated. On the other hand3 the# %ack the theoretica% !ta i%it# and out%ook to envi!age the 0roce!! in it! entiret#. +heir 0!#cho%og# retain! 'an# un0rotected !urface!3 which3 with the change of circu'!tance!3 e/0o!e the' to the ea!# 0enetration of foreign and ho!ti%e ideo%ogica% inf%uence!. In the da#! of the underground !trugg%e3 of the u0ri!ing!3 and the civi% war3 0eo0%e of thi! t#0e were 'ere%# !o%dier! of the 0art#. +heir 'ind! had on%# one !tring3 and that !ounded in har'on# with the 0art# tuning<fork. )ut when the ten!ion re%a/ed and the no'ad! of the revo%ution! 0a!!ed on to !ett%ed %iving3 the trait! of the 'an in the !treet3 the !#'0athie! and ta!te! of !e%f<!ati!fied officia%!3 revived in the'. Suite freCuent%# I heard i!o%ated re'ark! of Ka%inin3 (oro!hi%ov3 $ta%in or ,#kov with a%ar'. 5here doe! thi! co'e fro'E B I a!ked '#!e%f B fro' what we%% doe! it gu!hE 5hen I ca'e to a 'eeting and found grou0! engaged in conver!ation3 often the# wou%d !to0 when the# !aw 'e. +here wa! nothing directed again!t 'e in tho!e conver!ation!3 nothing o00o!ed to the 0rinci0%e! of the 0art#. )ut the# !howed an attitude of 'ora% re%a/ation3 of !e%f<content and trivia%it#. Peo0%e egan to fee% an urge to 0our out the!e new 'ood! u0on each other B 'ood! in which the e%e'ent of 0hi%i!tine go!!i0 ca'e to have a ver# 0ro'inent 0%ace. Aeretofore the# had rea%i-ed the i'0ro0riet# of thi! !ort of thing not on%# in =enin>! or '# 0re!ence ut even with one another. On occa!ion! when vu%garit# !howed it!e%f B for e/a'0%e3 on the 0art of $ta%in B =enin3 without even %ifting hi! head fro' hi! 0a0er!3 wou%d %ook around a! if tr#ing to find !o'e one e%!e who wa! re0e%%ed # the re'ark. In !uch ca!e!3 a !wift g%ance3 or an intonation in the voice wa! enough to revea% indi!0uta %# to oth of u! our !o%idarit# in the!e 0!#cho%ogica% a00rai!a%!. If I took no 0art in the a'u!e'ent! that were eco'ing 'ore and 'ore co''on in the %ive! of the new governing !tratu'3 it wa! not for 'ora% rea!on!3 ut ecau!e I hated to inf%ict !uch oredo' on '#!e%f. +he vi!iting at each other>! ho'e!3 the a!!iduou! attendance at the a%%et3 the drinking<0artie! at which 0eo0%e who were a !ent were 0u%%ed to 0iece!3 had no attraction for 'e. +he new ru%ing grou0 fe%t that I did not fit in with thi! wa# of %iving3 and the# did not even tr# to win 'e over. It wa! for thi! ver# rea!on that 'an# grou0 conver!ation! wou%d !to0 the 'o'ent I a00eared3 and tho!e engaged in the' wou%d cut the' !hort with a certain

!ha'efacedne!! and a !%ight itterne!! toward 'e. +hi! wa!3 if #ou %ike3 a definite indication that I had egun to %o!e 0ower. I a' here %i'iting '#!e%f to the 0!#cho%ogica% a!0ect of the 'atter3 and di!regarding it! !ocia% a!i!3 that i!3 the change! in the anato'# of the revo%utionar# !ociet#. In the fina% reckoning3 it i!3 of cour!e3 the!e %atter change! that decide. )ut in actua% %ife it i! their 0!#cho%ogica% ref%ection that one encounter! direct%#. +he inner event! were deve%o0ing rather !%ow%#3 faci%itating the 'o%ecu%ar 0roce!!e! of the tran!for'ation of the u00er !tratu'3 and %eaving no o0ening for contra!ting the two irreconci%a %e 0o!ition! efore the 'a!!e!. One 'u!t add that the new 'ood! were for a %ong ti'e3 and !ti%% are3 di!gui!ed # traditiona% for'u%a!. +hi! 'ade it a%% the 'ore difficu%t to deter'ine how far the 0roce!! of 'eta o%i!' had gone. +he +her'idor con!0irac# at the end of the eighteenth centur#3 0re0ared for # the 0receding cour!e of the revo%ution3 roke out with a !ing%e %ow and a!!u'ed the !ha0e of a !anguinar# fina%e. Our +her'idor wa! %ong drawn out. +he gui%%otine found it! !u !titute B at %ea!t for a whi%e B in intrigue. +he fa%!if#ing of the 0a!t3 !#!te'ati-ed on the conve#er 0%an3 eca'e a wea0on for the ideo%ogica% re ar'ing of the officia% 0art#. =enin>! i%%ne!! and the e/0ectation of hi! return to the %eader!hi0 'ade the te'0orar# !ituation indefinite3 and it %a!ted3 with an interva%3 for over two #ear!. If the revo%ution had een in the a!cendanc#3 the de%a# wou%d have 0%a#ed into the hand! of the o00o!ition. )ut the revo%ution on the internationa% !ca%e wa! !uffering one defeat after another3 and the de%a# according%# 0%a#ed into the hand! of the nationa% refor'i!' # auto'atica%%# !trengthening the $ta%in ureaucrac# again!t 'e and '# 0o%itica% friend!. +he out<and<out 0hi%i!tine3 ignorant3 and !i'0%# !tu0id aiting of the theor# of 0er'anent revo%ution grew fro' @u!t the!e 0!#cho%ogica% !ource!. 4o!!i0ing over a ott%e of wine or re turning fro' the a%%et3 one !'ug officia% wou%d !a# to another& 9Ae can think of nothing ut 0er'anent revo%ution.? +he accu!ation! of un!ocia i%it#3 of individua%i!'3 of ari!tocrati!'3 were c%o!e%# connected with thi! 0articu%ar 'ood. +he !enti'ent of 9Not a%% and a%wa#! for the revo%ution3 ut !o'ething for one!e%f a! we%%3? wa! tran!%ated a! 98own with 0er'anent revo%ution.? +he revo%t again!t the e/acting theoretica% de'and! of "ar/i!' and the e/acting 0o%itica% de'and! of the revo%ution gradua%%# a!!u'ed3 in the e#e! of the!e 0eo0%e3 the for' of a !trugg%e again!t 9+rot!k#i!'.? Hnder thi! anner3 the %i eration of the 0hi%i!tine in the )o%!hevik wa! 0roceeding. It wa! ecau!e of thi! that I %o!t 0ower3 and it wa! thi! that deter'ined the for' which thi! %o!! took. I have !aid efore that =enin3 fro' hi! death ed3 wa! 0re0aring a %ow at $ta%in and hi! a%%ie!3 8-er-hin!k# and Ord-honikid-e. =enin va%ued 8-er-hin!k# high%#. +he e!trange'ent egan when 8-er-hin!k# rea%i-ed that =enin did not think hi' ca0a %e of directing econo'ic work. It wa! thi! that threw 8-er-hin!k# into $ta%in>! ar'!3 and then =enin decided to !trike at hi' a! one of $ta%in>! !u00ort!. 1! for Ord-honikid-e3 =enin wanted to e/0e% hi' fro' the 0art# for hi! wa#! of a governor<genera%. =enin>! note 0ro'i!ing the 4eorgian )o%!hevik! hi! fu%% !u00ort again!t $ta%in3 8-her-hin!k#3 and Ord-honikid-e wa! addre!!ed to "divani. +he fate! of the four revea% 'o!t vividi# the !wee0ing change in the 0art# engineered # the $ta%in faction. 1fter =enin>! death3 8-er-hin!k# wa! 0ut at the head of the $u0re'e Econo'ic *ounci%3 that i!3 in charge of a%% !tate indu!trie!. Ord-honikid-e3 who had een !%ated for e/0u%!ion3 ha! een 'ade the head of the *entra% *ontro% *o''i!!ion. $ta%in not on%# ha! re'ained the genera% !ecretar#3

contrar# to =enin>! wi!h3 ut ha! een given unheard<of 0ower! # the a00aratu!. Fina%%#3 )udu "divani3 who' =enin !u00orted again!t $ta%in3 i! now in the +o o%!k 0ri!on. 1 !i'i%ar 9regrou0ing? ha! een effected in the entire directing 0er!onne% of the 0art# and in a%% the 0artie! of the Internationa%3 without e/ce0tion. +he e0och of the e0igone! i! !e0arated fro' that of =enin not on%# # a gu%f of idea!3 ut a%!o # a !wee0ing overturn in the organi-ation of the 0art#. $ta%in ha! een the chief in!tru'ent in carr#ing out thi! overturn. Ae i! gifted with 0ractica%it#3 a !trong wi%%3 and 0er!i!tence in carr#ing out hi! ai'!. Ai! 0o%itica% hori-on i! re!tricted3 hi! theoretica% eCui0'ent 0ri'itive. Ai! work of co'0i%ation3 The Fo"ndations of Leninis13 in which he 'ade an atte'0t to 0a# tri ute to the theoretica% tradition! of the 0art#3 i! fu%% of !o0ho'oric error!. Ai! ignorance of foreign %anguage! co'0e%! hi' to fo%%ow the 0o%itica% %ife of other countrie! at !econd<hand. Ai! 'ind i! !tu orn%# e'0irica%3 and devoid of creative i'agination. +o the %eading grou0 of the 0art# (in the wide. circ%e! he wa! not known at a%%) he a%wa#! !ee'ed a 'an de!tined to 0%a# !econd and third fidd%e. 1nd the fact that to<da# he i! 0%a#ing fir!t i! not !o 'uch a !u''ing<u0 of the 'an a! it i! of thi! tran!itiona% 0eriod of 0o%itica% ack!%iding in the countr#. Ae%vetiu! !aid it %ong ago& 9Ever# 0eriod ha! it! great 'en3 and if the!e are %acking3 it invent! the'.? $ta%ini!' i! a ove a%% e%!e the auto'atic work of the i'0er!ona% a00aratu! on the dec%ine of the revo%ution. =enin died on 7anuar# I13 19IT. 8eath wa! for hi' 'ere%# a de%iverance fro' 0h#!ica% and 'ora% !uffering. Ae 'u!t have fe%t it into%era %# hu'i%iating to e !o utter%# he%0%e!!3 and e!0ecia%%# to %o!e hi! 0ower of !0eech whi%e he wa! !ti%% fu%%# con!ciou!. Ae grew una %e to endure the 0atroni-ing tone of the doctor!3 their ana% @oke! and their fa%!e encourage'ent!. 5hi%e he wa! !ti%% a %e to !0eak3 he ca!ua%%# 0ut te!t Cue!tion! to the doctor!3 caught the' unaware! in contradiction!3 in!i!ted on additiona% e/0%anation!3 and di00ed into the 'edica% ook! hi'!e%f. In thi! ca!e a! in ever#thing e%!e3 he wa! !triving 'o!t of a%% for c%arit#. +he on%# 'edica% 'an he cou%d endure wa! F#odor 1%e/androvich 4uetier. 1 good 0h#!ician and a good 'an3 un!u%%ied # the trait! of a courtier3 4uetier wa! attached to =enin and Kru0!ka#a # a genuine affection. 8uring the 0eriod when =enin wou%d not a%%ow an# other doctor to co'e near hi'3 4uetier continued to vi!it hi'. 4uetier wa! a%!o a c%o!e friend and hou!e<0h#!ician to '# fa'i%# during a%% the #ear! of the revo%ution. +hank! to hi'3 we a%wa#! had 'o!t tru!tworth# and inte%%igent re0ort! on the condition of (%adi'ir I%#ich3 to !u00%e'ent and correct the i'0er!ona% officia% u%%etin!. "ore than once3 I a!ked 4uetier whether =enin>! inte%%ect wou%d retain it! 0ower in ca!e of recover#. 4uetier an!wered 'e in thi! !train& the tendenc# to fatigue wou%d increa!e3 there wou%d not e the for'er c%arit# in work3 ut a virtuo!o wou%d re'ain a virtuo!o. In the interva% etween the fir!t and !econd !troke!3 thi! 0rediction wa! confir'ed to the %etter. +oward the end of the 'eeting! of the Po%it ureau3 =enin gave one the i'0re!!ion of eing a ho0e%e!!%# tired 'an. 1%% the 'u!c%e! of hi! face !agged3 the g%ea' went out of hi! e#e!3 and even hi! for'ida %e forehead !ee'ed to !hrink3 whi%e hi! !hou%der! droo0ed heavi%#. +he e/0re!!ion of hi! face and of hi! entire figure 'ight have een !u''ed u0 in a word& tired. 1t !uch gha!t%# 'o'ent!3 =enin !ee'ed to 'e a doo'ed 'an. )ut with a good night>! !%ee0 he wou%d recover hi! 0ower of thought. +he artic%e! written in the interva% etween hi! two !troke! ho%d their own with hi! e!t work. +he f%uid of the !ource wa! the !a'e3 ut the f%ow wa! growing %e!!. Even after the !econd !troke3 4uetier did not take awa# a%% ho0e. )ut hi! re0ort! continued to grow 'ore 0e!!i'i!tic.

+he i%%ne!! dragged on. 5ithout 'a%ice or 'erc#3 the %ind force! of nature were !inking the great !ick 'an into a !tate of i'0otence fro' which there wa! no wa# out. =enin cou%d not and !hou%d not have %ived on a! an inva%id. )ut !ti%% we did not a andon ho0e for hi! recover#. In the 'eanti'e3 '# own indi!0o!ition %ingered on. 91t the in!i!tence of the doctor!3? write! N.I. $edova3 9=.8. wa! 'oved to the countr#. +here 4uetier vi!ited the !ick 'an3 for who' he had a tender regard. Po%itic! did not intere!t hi'3 ut he !uffered dee0%# for u! without knowing how to e/0re!! hi! !#'0ath#. +he 0er!ecution of =.8. caught hi' un0re0ared. Ae did not under!tand it3 and wa! waiting and worr#ing. 1t 1rchange%!ko#e3 he !0oke to 'e e/cited%# a out the nece!!it# of taking =.8. to $ukhu'. In the end3 we decided to take the !te0. +he @ourne#3 which wa! %ong in it!e%f B via )aku3 +if%i!3 and )atu' B wa! 'ade !ti%% %onger # the !nowdrift! that covered the track!. )ut the trave%%ing had a !oothing effect. +he farther we went fro' "o!cow3 the 'ore we roke awa# fro' the de0re!!ion that we had found there of %ate. )ut in !0ite of it a%%3 I !ti%% had the fee%ing that I wa! acco'0an#ing a ver# !ick 'an. +he uncertaint# tried one >! 0atience& what !ort of %ife wou%d there e at $ukhu'E 5ou%d we have ene'ie! or friend! a out u! thereE? 7anuar# I1 found u! at the !tation in +iF%i!3 on our wa# to $ukhu'. I wa! !itting with '# wife in the working ha%f of '# car3 with the high te'0erature that wa! the u!ua% thing at that ti'e. +here wa! a knock on the door3 and '# faithfu% a!!i!tant3 $#er'uk!3 who wa! acco'0an#ing 'e to $ukhu'3 entered. Fro' hi! 'anner a! he wa%ked in3 fro' hi! %ivid<gra# face a! he handed 'e a !heet of 0a0er3 %ooking 0a!t 'e with g%a!!# e#e!3 I !en!ed a cata!tro0he. It wa! the decoded te%egra' fro' $ta%in te%%ing 'e that =enin had died. I 0a!!ed it to '# wifeD !he had a%read# gue!!ed it. +he +if%i! authoritie! !oon received a !i'i%ar te%egra'. +he new! of =enin>! death wa! !0reading in ever<widening ring!. I got the Kre'%in on the direct wire. In an!wer to '# inCuir#3 I wa! to%d& 9+he funera% wi%% e on $aturda#3 #ou can>t get ack in ti'e3 and !o we advi!e #ou to continue #our treat'ent.? 1ccording%#3 I had no choice. 1! a 'atter of fact3 the funera% did not take 0%ace unti% $unda#3 and I cou%d ea!i%# have reached "o!cow # then. Incredi %e a! it 'a# a00ear3 I wa! even deceived a out the date of the funera%. +he con!0irator! !ur'i!ed correct%# that I wou%d never think of verif#ing it3 and %ater on the# cou%d a%wa#! find an e/0%anation. I 'u!t reca%% the fact that the new! of =enin>! fir!t i%%ne!! wa! not co''unicated to 'e unti% the third da#. +hi! wa! a !#!te'. +he o @ect wa! to 9gain ti'e.? +he +if%i! co'rade! ca'e to de'and that I write on =enin>! death at once. )ut I knew on%# one urgent de!ire<and that wa! to e a%one. I cou%d not !tretch '# hand to %ift '# 0en. +he rief te/t of the "o!cow te%egra' wa! !ti%% re!ounding in '# head. +ho!e who gathered at the train waited for a re!0on!e. +he# were right. +he train wa! he%d u0 for ha%f an hour3 and I wrote the farewe%% %ine!& 9=enin ha! gone. =enin i! no 'ore.? +he few handwritten 0age! were tran!'itted to the direct wire. 95e arrived Cuite roken down3? write! '# wife. 9It wa! the fir!t ti'e we had !een $ukhu'. +he 'i'o!a were in fu%% %oo' B the# are 0%entifu% there. "agnificent 0a%'!. *a'e%%ia!. It wa! 7anuar#D in "o!cow the co%d wa! itter. +he 1 ha-ian! greeted u! on our arriva% in a friend%# 'anner. In the dining<roo' of the re!t<hou!e3 there were two 0ortrait! on the wa%%3 one B dra0ed

in %ack B of (%adi'ir I%#ich3 the other of =.8. 5e fe%t %ike taking the %atter one down3 ut thought it wou%d %ook too de'on!trative.? 1t $ukhu' I !0ent %ong da#! %#ing on the a%con# facing the !ea. 1%though it wa! 7anuar#3 the !un wa! war' and right. )etween the a%con# and the g%ittering !ea there were huge 0a%'!. 5ith the con!tant !en!ation of running a te'0erature were 'ing%ed thought! of =enin>! death. In '# 'ind I went through a%% the !tage! of '# %ife& '# 'eeting! with =enin3 our di!agree'ent!3 0o%e'ic!3 our renewed friend%ine!!3 our fe%%ow!hi0 of work. Individua% e0i!ode! e'erged with the vividne!! of a drea'. 4radua%%# a%% of it egan to a!!u'e increa!ing%# !har0 out%ine!. 5ith a'a-ing c%arit# I !aw tho!e 9di!ci0%e!? who were true to their 'a!ter in the %itt%e thing!3 and not in the ig. 1! I reathed the !ea air in3 I a!!i'i%ated with '# who%e eing the a!!urance of '# hi!torica% rightne!! in o00o!ition to the e0igone!. 7anuar# I;3 19IT. Over the 0a%'! and the !ea reigned !i%ence3 !0arking under the %ue cano0#. $udden%# it wa! 0ierced # !a%vo! of arti%%er#. +he cannonading wa! going on !o'ewhere e%ow3 on the !ea!hore. It wa! $ukhu'>! !a%ute to the %eader who at that hour wa! eing uried in "o!cow. I thought of hi' and of the wo'an who had een hi! %ife<co'0anion for !o 'an# #ear!3 receiving through hi' her i'0re!!ion! of the wor%d. Now !he wa! ur#ing hi'3 and 'u!t inevita %# fee% %one%# a'ong the grieving 'i%%ion! around her B grieving3 ut not a! !he wa! grieving. I thought of Nad#e-hda Kon!tantinovna Kru0!ka#a. I wanted to !0eak a word of greeting3 of !#'0ath#3 of endear'ent to her fro' where I wa!. )ut I cou%d not ring '#!e%f to do it. 5ord! !ee'ed 'uch too %ight in the face of what had ha00ened. I wa! afraid that the# wou%d on%# !ound conventiona%. 1nd !o I wa! !haken with gratitude when I received a %etter a few da#! %ater fro' Nad#e-hda Kon!tantinovna. +hi! i! how it read& 9 8ear =E( 81(Y8O(I*A3 I write to te%% #ou that a out a 'onth efore hi! death3 a! he wa! %ooking through #our ook3 (%adi'ir I%#ich !to00ed at the 0%ace where #ou !u' u0 "ar/ and =enin3 and a!ked 'e to read it over again to hi'D he %i!tened ver# attentive%#3 and then %ooked it over again hi'!e%f. 1nd here i! another thing I want to te%% #ou. +he attitude of (.I. toward #ou at the ti'e when #ou ca'e to u! in =ondon fro' $i eria ha! not changed unti% hi! death. I wi!h #ou3 =ev 8av#dovich3 !trength and hea%th3 and I e' race #ou war'%#. N. K,HP$K1Y1.? In the ook which (%adi'ir I%#ich wa! %ooking over efore hi! death3 I co'0ared =enin with "ar/. I knew on%# too we%% =enin>! attitude toward "ar/3 an attitude 'ade u0 of a di!ci0%e>! gratefu% %ove and of the 0atho! of di!tance. +he re%ation!hi0 etween 'a!ter and di!ci0%e eca'e3 in the cour!e of hi!tor#3 the re%ation!hi0 of the theoretica% 0recur!or and the fir!t rea%i-er. In '# artic%e I did awa# with the traditiona% 0atho! of di!tance. "ar/ and =enin3 !o c%o!e%# %inked hi!torica%%# and #et !o different3 were to 'e the two un!ur0a!!a %e !u''it! of 'an>! !0iritua% 0ower. 1nd I re@oiced at the thought that =enin had read '# %ine! a out hi' attentive%# a !hort ti'e efore he died3 and 0ro a %# with e'otion3 !ince for hi'3 a! for 'e3 the "ar/ !ca%e wa! the 'o!t titanic for 'ea!uring hu'an 0er!ona%it#.

1nd with e'otion I now read Kru0!ka#a>! %etter. $he took two e/tre'e 0oint! in '# connection with =enin B the Octo er da# in 192I when3 after e!ca0ing fro' $i eria3 I had rai!ed =enin fro' hi! hard =ondon ed ear%# in the 'orning3 and the end of 8ece' er3 19I33 when =enin had twice read '# a00reciation of hi! %ifework. )etween the!e two 0oint! there had 0a!!ed two decade! B at fir!t @oint work3 then itter factiona% !trugg%e3 then @oint work again on a higher hi!torica% foundation. In Aege%>! 0hra!e& the!i!3 antithe!i!3 !#nthe!i!. 1nd now Kru0!ka#a ore witne!! that =enin>! attitude toward 'e3 de!0ite the 0rotracted 0eriod of antithe!i!3 re'ained the 9=ondon? oneD that i!3 one of war' !u00ort and friend%# !#'0ath#3 ut now on a higher hi!torica% 0%ane. Even if there were nothing e%!e3 a%% the fo%io! of the di!!e' %er! cou%d not outweigh in the @udg'ent of hi!tor# thi! %itt%e note written # Kru0!ka#a a few da#! after =enin>! death. 9*on!idera %# de%a#ed # the !now3 the new!0a0er! egan to ring u! the 'e'oria% !0eeche!3 o ituarie!3 and artic%e!. Our friend! were e/0ecting =.8. to co'e to "o!cow3 and thought that he wou%d cut !hort hi! tri0 in order to return3 !ince no one i'agined that $ta%in>! te%egra' had cut off hi! return. I re'e' er '# !on>! %etter3 received at $ukhu'. Ae wa! terri %# !hocked # =enin>! death3 and though !uffering fro' a co%d3 with a te'0erature of 12T3 he went in hi! not ver# war' coat to the Aa%% of *o%u'n! to 0a# hi! %a!t re!0ect!3 and waited3 waited3 and waited with i'0atience for our arriva%. One cou%d fee% in hi! %etter hi! itter ewi%der'ent and diffident re0roach.? +hi! again i! Cuoted fro' '# wife>! note!. 1 de%egation of the *entra% *o''ittee co'0o!ed of +o'!k#3 Frun-e3 P#atakov3 and 4u!#ev ca'e to 'e at $ukhu' to coordinate with 'e in 'aking change! in the 0er!onne% of the war de0art'ent. +hi! wa! !heer farce. +he renewa% of the 0er!onne% in the war de0art'ent had for !o'e ti'e een going on at fu%% !0eed ehind '# ack3 and now it wa! !i'0%# a 'atter of o !erving the 0ro0rietie!. +he fir!t %ow in the war de0art'ent fe%% on $k%#an!k#. Ae wa! the fir!t to ear $ta%in>! revenge for the %atter>! rever!e! efore +!arit!in3 hi! fai%ure on the !outhern front3 and hi! adventure efore =vov. Intrigue reared high it! !er0entine head. +o u0root $k%#an!k# B and 'e in the future B an a' itiou! ut ta%ent%e!! intriguer na'ed Hn!ch%icht had een in!ta%%ed in the war de0art'ent a few 'onth! efore. $ki#an!k# wa! di!'i!!ed and Frun-e3 who wa! in co''and of the ar'ie! in the Hkraine3 wa! a00ointed in hi! 0%ace. Frun-e wa! a !eriou! 0er!on. Ai! authorit# in the 0art#3 due to hi! !entence of hard<%a or in $i eria in the 0a!t3 wa! higher than the 'ore recent authorit# of $k%#an!k#. Further'ore3 he had revea%ed an indi!0uta %e ta%ent for 'i%itar# %eader!hi0 during the war. )ut a! a 'i%itar# ad'ini!trator3 he wa! far inferior to $k%#an!k#. Ae wa! too a0t to e carried awa# # a !tract !che'e!D he wa! a 0oor @udge of characterD and he !uccu' ed ea!i%# to the inf%uence of e/0ert!3 e!0ecia%%# tho!e of the !econd order. )ut I 'u!t fini!h $k%#an!k#>! !tor#. 5ith that rudene!! characteri!tic of $ta%in3 without even eing con!u%ted a out it3 he wa! tran!ferred to econo'ic work. 8-er-hin!k#3 who wa! g%ad to get rid of Hn!chiicht3 hi! de0ut# at the 4PH3 and !ecure for indu!tr# !uch a fir!t<c%a!! ad'ini!trator a! $k%#an!k#3 0ut hi' in charge of the c%oth tru!t. 5ith a !hrug of hi! !hou%der!3 $k%#an!k# 0%unged into hi! new work. 1 few 'onth! %ater he decided to vi!it the Hnited $tate!3 to %ook a out3 !tud#3 and u# 'achiner#. )efore he %eft he ca%%ed on 'e to !a# good< # and to a!k '# advice. 5e had worked hand in hand during the #ear! of civi% war. )ut our ta%k had u!ua%%# een

a out troo0 unit!3 'i%itar# ru%e!3 !0eeding u0 the graduation of officer!3 !u00%ie! of co00er and a%u'inu' for 'i%itar# 0%ant!3 unifor'! and food3 rather than a out the 0art#. 5e were oth too u!# for that. 1fter =enin wa! taken i%%3 when the 0%ot! of the e0igone! egan to force their wa# into the war de0art'ent3 I refrained fro' di!cu!!ing 0art# 'atter!3 0articu%ar%# with the 'i%itar# !taff. +he !ituation wa! ver# indefinite3 the difference! were then on%# e ginning to cro0 u03 and the for'ing of faction! in the ar'# concea%ed 'an# danger!. =ater on I wa! i%% '#!e%f. 1t that 'eeting with $k%#an!k# in the !u''er of 19I53 when I wa! no %onger in charge of the war de0art'ent3 we ta%ked over a%'o!t ever#thing. 9+e%% 'e3? $k%#an!k# a!ked3 9what i! $ta%inE? $k%#an!k# knew $ta%in we%% enough hi'!e%f. Ae wanted '# definition of $ta%in and '# e/0%anation of hi! !ucce!!. I thought for a 'inute. 9$ta%in3? I !aid3 9i! the out!tanding 'ediocrit# in the 0art#.? +hi! definition then !ha0ed it!e%f for 'e for the fir!t ti'e in it! fu%% i'0ort3 0!#cho%ogica% a! we%% a! !ocia%. )# the e/0re!!ion on $k%#an!k#>! face3 I !aw at once that I had he%0ed '# Cue!tioner to touch on !o'ething !ignificant. 9You know3? he !aid3 9it i! a'a-ing how3 during thi! %a!t 0eriod3 the 'ean3 the !e%f<!ati!fied 'ediocrit# i! 0u!hing it!e%f into ever# !0here. 1nd a%% of it find! in $ta%in it! %eader. 5here doe! it a%% co'e fro'E? 9+hi! i! the reaction after the great !ocia% and 0!#cho%ogica% !train of the fir!t #ear! of revo%ution. 1 victoriou! counter<revo%ution 'a# deve%o0 it! great 'en. )ut it! fir!t !tage3 the +her'idor3 de'and! 'ediocritie! who can>t !ee farther than their no!e!. +heir !trength %ie! in their 0o%itica% %indne!!3 %ike the 'i%%<hor!e that think! that he i! 'oving u0 when rea%%# he i! on%# 0u!hing down the e%t<whee%. 1 hor!e that !ee! i! inca0a %e of doing the work.? In that conver!ation I rea%i-ed for the fir!t ti'e with a !o%ute c%arit# the 0ro %e' of the +her'idor B with3 I 'ight even !a#3 a !ort of 0h#!ica% conviction. I agreed with $k%#an!k# to return to the !u @ect after he got ack fro' 1'erica. Not 'an# week! %ater a ca %e infor'ed u! that $k%#an!k# had een drowned in !o'e 1'erican %ake whi%e oating. =ife i! ine/hau!ti %e in it! crue% invention!. +he urn with $k%#an!k#>! a!he! wa! rought ack to "o!cow. Ever# one wa! !ure that it wou%d e i''ured in the Kre'%in wa%% in the ,ed $Cuare3 which had eco'e the Pantheon of the revo%ution. )ut the !ecretariat of the *entra% *o''ittee decided to ur# $k%#an!k# out!ide of the cit#. $k%#an!k#>! farewe%% vi!it to 'e had a00arent%# een noted and taken into account. +he hatred e/tended to the uria%<urn. +he e%itt%ing of $k%#an!k# wa! 0art of the genera% fight again!t the %eader!hi0 that had in!ured victor# in the civi% war. I do not think that $k%#an!k# a%ive wa! intere!ted in the 'atter of where he wa! to e uried. )ut the deci!ion of the *entra% *o''ittee took on a character of 0er!ona% and 0o%itica% 'eanne!!. +hrowing a!ide '# !en!e of re0u%!ion3 I ca%%ed "o%otov. )ut the deci!ion cou%d not e a%tered. Ai!tor# ha! #et to 0a!! it! verdict on it.

In the autu'n of 19IT3 '# te'0erature again egan to 'ount. )# that ti'e3 another di!cu!!ion had %a-ed u03 rought a out thi! ti'e fro' a ove in accordance with !o'e 0re<arranged 0%an. In =eningrad3 in "o!cow3 and in the 0rovince!3 hundred! and thou!and! of 0re%i'inar# !ecret conference! had een he%d to 0re0are the !o<ca%%ed 9di!cu!!ion3? to 0re0are3 that i!3 a !#!te'atic and we%%<organi-ed aiting3 now directed not at the o00o!ition ut at 'e 0er!ona%%#. 5hen the !ecret 0re0aration! were over3 at a !igna% fro' the Pra da a ca'0aign again!t +rot!k#i!' ur!t forth !i'u%taneou!%# on a%% 0%atfor'!3 in a%% 0age! and co%u'n!3 in ever# crack and corner. It wa! a 'a@e!tic !0ectac%e of it! kind. +he !%ander wa! %ike a vo%canic eru0tion. It wa! a great !hock to the %arge 'a!! of the 0art#. I %a# in ed with a te'0erature3 and re'ained !i%ent. Pre!! and orator! did nothing ut e/0o!e +rot!k#i!'3 a%though no one knew e/act%# what it 'eant. 8a# after da# the# !erved u0 incident! fro' the 0a!t3 0o%e'ica% e/cer0t! fro' =enin>! artic%e! of twent# #ear!> !tanding3 confu!ing3 fa%!if#ing and 'uti%ating the'3 and in genera% 0re!enting the' a! if ever#thing had ha00ened @u!t the da# efore. No one cou%d under!tand an#thing of a%% thi!. If it had rea%%# een true3 then =enin 'u!t have een aware of it. )ut wa! there not the Octo er revo%ution after a%% thatE 5a! there not the civi% war after the revo%utionE Aad not +rot!k# worked together with =enin in creating the *o''uni!t Internationa%E 5ere not +rot!k#>! 0ortrait! hanging ever#where ne/t to tho!e of =eninE )ut !%ander 0oured forth in a co%d %ava !trea'. It 0re!!ed down auto'atica%%# on the con!ciou!ne!!3 and wa! even 'ore deva!tating to the wi%%. +he attitude toward =enin a! a revo%utionar# %eader gave wa# to an attitude %ike that toward the head of an ecc%e!ia!tita% hierarch#. 1gain!t '# 0rote!t!3 a 'au!o%eu' wa! ui%t on the ,ed $Cuare3 a 'onu'ent un eco'ing and offen!ive to the revo%utionar# con!ciou!ne!!. +he officia% ook! a out =enin evo%ved into !i'i%ar 'au!o%eu'!. Ai! idea! were cut u0 into Cuotation! for h#0ocritica% !er'on!. Ai! e' a%'ed cor0!e wa! u!ed a! a wea0on again!t the %iving =enin B and again!t +rot!k#. +he 'a!!e! were !tunned3 0u--%ed3 and overawed. +hank! to it! !heer u%k3 the ca'0aign of ignorant %ie! took on 0o%itica% 0otenc#. It overwhe%'ed3 o00re!!ed3 and de'ora%i-ed the 'a!!e!. +he 0art# found it!e%f conde'ned to !i%ence. 1 regi'e wa! e!ta %i!hed that wa! nothing %e!! than a dictator!hi0 of the a00aratu! over the 0art#. In other word!3 the 0art# wa! cea!ing to e a 0art#. In the 'orning3 0a0er! were rought to 'e in ed. I %ooked over the ca %e re0ort!3 and the tit%e! and !ignature! of the artic%e!. I knew tho!e 'en we%% enoughD I knew their inner thought!3 what the# were ca0a %e of !a#ing and what the# had een ordered to !a#. In the 'a@orit# of ca!e!3 the# were 'en a%read# e/hau!ted # the revo%ution. $o'e were !i'0%# narrow<'inded fanatic! who had %et the'!e%ve! e deceived. Other! were #oung 9careeri!t!? in a hurr# to 0rove how inva%ua %e the# were. 1%% of the' contradicted each other and the'!e%ve!. )ut the !%ander ke0t u0 ince!!ant%# in the new!0a0er!& it how%ed and !hrieked3 drowning it! contradiction! and !u0erficia%it# in it! own noi!e. It !ucceeded # !heer vo%u'e a%one. 9+he !econd attack of =.8.>! i%%ne!!3? write! N.I. $edova3 9coincided with a 'on!trou! ca'0aign of 0er!ecution again!t hi'3 which we fe%t a! keen%# a! if we had een !uffering fro' the 'o!t 'a%ignant di!ea!e. +he 0age! of the Pra da !ee'ed end%e!!3 and ever# %ine of the 0a0er3 even ever# word3 a %ie. =.8. ke0t !i%ent. )ut what it co!t hi' to 'aintain that !i%enceJ Friend! ca%%ed to !ee hi' during the da# and often at night. I re'e' er that !o'e one once a!ked hi' if he had read that da#>! 0a0er. Ae re0%ied that he no %onger read the new!0a0er!. 1nd it i! true that he

on%# took the' u0 in hi! hand!3 ran hi! e#e! over the'3 and then threw the' a!ide. It !ee'ed a! if it were enough for hi' 'ere%# to %ook at the' to know a%% that the# contained. Ae knew on%# too we%% the cook! who had 'ade the di!h3 and the !a'e di!h ever# da#3 to oot. +o read the 0a0er! at that ti'e wa! e/act%#3 he wou%d !a#3 %ike 0u!hing a funne% ru!h into one>! own throat. It 'ight have een 0o!!i %e to force hi'!e%f to read the' if =.8. had decided to re0%#. )ut he re'ained !i%ent. Ai! co%d %ingered on3 thank! to hi! critica% nervou! condition. Ae %ooked 0a%e and thin. In the fa'i%# we avoided ta%king a out the 0er!ecution3 and #et we cou%d ta%k of nothing e%!e. I re'e' er how I fe%t when I went to '# work ever# da# at the *o''i!!ariat of EducationD it wa! %ike running a gaunt%et. )ut never once did an# one 0er'it hi'!e%f an un0%ea!ant in!inuation. $ide # !ide with the ini'ica% !i%ence of the !'a%% ru%ing grou03 there wa! unCue!tiona %e !#'0ath# fro' 'o!t of '# co%%eague!. +he %ife of the 0art# !ee'ed to e !0%it in ha%f& the inner3 hidden %ife and the outward %ife for !how on%#3 and the two %ive! were in a !o%ute contradiction to each other. On%# a few rave !ou%! ventured to revea% what wa! %atent in the 'ind! and heart! of 'o!t of tho!e who concea%ed their !#'0athie! under a >'ono%ithic> vote.? "# %etter to *hied-e again!t =enin wa! 0u %i!hed during thi! 0eriod. +hi! e0i!ode3 dating ack to 10ri%3 19133 grew out of the fact that the officia% )o%!hevik new!0a0er then 0u %i!hed in $t. Peter! urg had a00ro0riated the tit%e of '# (ienne!e 0u %ication3 The 1ra(da L a "abor 1aper. +hi! %ed to one of tho!e !har0 conf%ict! !o freCuent in the %ive! of the foreign e/i%e!. In a %etter written to *hied-e3 who at one ti'e !tood etween the )o%!hevik! and the "en!hevik!3 I gave vent to '# indignation at the )o%!hevik centre and at =enin. +wo or three week! %ater3 I wou%d undou ted%# have !u @ected '# %etter to a !trict cen!or>! revi!ionD a #ear or two %ater !ti%% it wou%d have !ee'ed a curio!it# in '# own e#e!. )ut that %etter wa! to have a 0ecu%iar de!tin#. It wa! interce0ted on it! wa# # the Po%ice 8e0art'ent. It re!ted in the 0o%ice archive! unti% the Octo er revo%ution3 when it went to the In!titute of Ai!tor# of the *o''uni!t 0art#. =enin wa! we%% aware of thi! %etterD in hi! e#e!3 a! in 'ine3 it wa! !i'0%# 9the !now! of #e!ter#ear? and nothing 'ore. 1 good 'an# %etter! of variou! kind! had een written during the #ear! of foreign e/i%eJ In 19IT3 the e0igone! di!interred the %etter fro' the archive! and f%ung it at the 0art#3 three<Cuarter! of which at that ti'e con!i!ted of new 'e' er!. It wa! no accident that the ti'e cho!en for thi! wa! the 'onth! i''ediate%# fo%%owing =enin>! death. +hi! condition wa! dou %# e!!entia%. In the fir!t 0%ace3 =enin cou%d no %onger ri!e to ca%% the!e gent%e'en # their right na'e!3 and in the !econd 0%ace3 the 'a!!e! of the 0eo0%e were torn with grief over the death of their %eader. 5ith no idea of the #e!terda#! of the 0art#3 the 0eo0%e read +rot!k#>! ho!ti%e re'ark! a out =enin and were !tunned. It i! true that the re'ark! had een 'ade twe%ve #ear! efore3 ut chrono%og# wa! di!regarded in the face of the naked Cuotation!. +he u!e that the e0igone! 'ade of '# %etter to *hied-e i! one of the greate!t fraud! in the wor%d>! hi!tor#. +he forged docu'ent! of the French reactionarie! in the 8re#fu! ca!e are a! nothing co'0ared to the 0o%itica% forger# 0er0etrated # $ta%in and hi! a!!ociate!. $%ander eco'e! a force on%# when it 'eet! !o'e hi!torica% de'and. +here 'u!t have een !o'e !hift3 I rea!oned3 in !ocia% re%ation! or in the 0o%itica% 'ood3 if !%ander cou%d find !uch an end%e!! 'arket. It i! nece!!ar# to ana%#-e the content of thi! !%ander. 1! I %a# in ed3 I had 0%ent# of ti'e to do !o. Fro' what doe! thi! accu!ation of +rot!k#>! wi!hing 9to ro the 0ea!ant? derive B that for'u%a which the reactionar# agrarian!3 the *hri!tian !ocia%i!t!3 and the Fa!ci!t! a%wa#! direct again!t !ocia%i!t! and again!t co''uni!t! in 0articu%arE 5hence thi! itter aiting of the "ar/i!t idea of 0er'anent revo%ution3 thi! nationa% ragging which 0ro'i!e! to ui%d it! own

!ocia%i!'E 5hat !ection! of the 0eo0%e 'ake de'and! for !uch reactionar# vu%garit#E 1nd %a!t%#3 how and wh# thi! %owering of the theoretica% %eve%3 thi! retrogre!!ion to 0o%itica% !tu0idit#E =#ing in ed3 I went over '# o%d artic%e!3 and '# e#e! fe%% on the!e %ine! written in 19293 at the 0eak of the reactionar# regi'e under $to%#0in& 95hen the curve of hi!torica% deve%o0'ent ri!e!3 0u %ic thinking eco'e! 'ore 0enetrating3 raver and 'ore ingeniou!. It gra!0! fact! on the wing3 and on the wing %ink! the' with the thread of genera%i-ation ... )ut when the 0o%itica% curve indi cate! a dro03 0u %ic thinking !uccu' ! to !tu0idit#. +he 0rice %e!! gift of 0o%itica% genera%i-ation vani!he! !o'ewhere without %eaving even a trace. $tu0idit# grow! in in!o%ence3 and3 aring it! teeth3 hea0! in!u%ting 'ocker# on ever# atte'0t at a !eriou! genera%i-ation. Fee%ing that it i! in co''and of the fie%d3 it e gin! to re!ort to it! own 'ean!.? One of it! 'o!t i'0ortant 'ean! i! !%ander. I !a# to '#!e%f that we are 0a!!ing through a 0eriod of re action. 1 0o%itica% !hifting of the c%a!!e! i! going on3 a! we%% a! a change in c%a!!<con!ciou!ne!!. 1fter the great effort3 there i! the recoi%. Aow far wi%% it goE *ertain%# not ack to it! !tarting<0oint. )ut no one can indicate the %ine in advance. +he !trugg%e of the inner force! wi%% deter'ine that. Fir!t3 one 'u!t under!tand what i! ha00ening. +he dee0 'o%ecu%ar 0roce!!e! of reaction are e'erging to the !urface. +he# have a! their o @ect the eradicating3 or at %ea!t the weakening3 of the de0endence of the 0u %ic con!ciou!ne!! on the idea!3 !%ogan! and %iving figure! of Octo er. +hat i! the 'eaning of what i! now taking 0%ace. $o %et u! not eco'e too !u @ective3 or Cuarre% or fee% 0ut out with hi!tor# for conducting it! affair! in !uch invo%ved and tang%ed wa#!. +o under!tand what i! ha00ening i! a%read# to ha%f in!ure the victor#.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <L00

T3( LA)T P(!0&D &F )T!677L( *0T30' T3( PA!T4

In 7anuar#3 19I53 I wa! re%ieved of '# dutie! a! the Peo0%e>! *o''i!!ar# of 5ar. +hi! deci!ion had een carefu%%# 0re0ared for # the 0receding !trugg%e. Ne/t to the tradition! of the Octo er ,evo%ution3 the e0igone! feared 'o!t the tradition! of the civi% war and '# connection with the ar'#. I #ie%ded u0 the 'i%itar# 0o!t without a fight3 with even a !en!e of re%ief3 !ince I wa!

there # wre!ting fro' '# o00onent!> hand! their wea0on of in!inuation concerning '# 'i%itar# intention!. +he e0igone! had fir!t invented the!e fanta!ie! to @u!tif# their act!3 and then egan a%'o!t to e%ieve the'. Ever !ince 19I13 '# 0er!ona% intere!t! had !hifted to another fie%d. +he war wa! overD the ar'# had een reduced fro' five 'i%%ion3 three hundred thou!and 'en to !i/ hundred thou!and. +he 'i%itar# work wa! entering ureaucratic channe%!. Econo'ic 0ro %e'! were of fir!t i'0ortance in the countr#D fro' the 'o'ent the war ended the# had a !or ed '# ti'e and attention to a far greater e/tent than 'i%itar# 'atter!. I wa! 'ade chair'an of the *once!!ion! *o''ittee in "a#3 19I53 head of the e%ectro<technica% oard3 and chair'an of the !cientific<technica% oard of indu!tr#. +he!e three 0o!t! were in no wa# connected. +heir !e%ection wa! 'ade ehind '# ack and deter'ined # certain !0ecific con!ideration!& to i!o%ate 'e fro' the 0art#3 to !u 'erge 'e in routine3 to 0ut 'e under !0ecia% contro%3 and !o on. Neverthe%e!! I 'ade an hone!t atte'0t to work in har'on# with the new arrange'ent!. 5hen I egan '# work in three in!titution! utter%# unfa'i%iar to 'e3 I natura%%# 0%unged in u0 to '# ear!. I wa! !0ecia%%# intere!ted in the in!titute! of technica% !cience which had deve%o0ed in $oviet ,u!!ia on Cuite a %arge !ca%e3 ecau!e of the centra%i-ed character of indu!tr#. I a!!iduou!%# vi!ited 'an# %a oratorie!3 watched e/0eri'ent! with great intere!t3 %i!tened to e/0%anation! given # the fore'o!t !cienti!t!3 in '# !0are ti'e !tudied te/t ook! on che'i!tr# and h#dro<d#na'ic!3 and fe%t that I wa! ha%f<ad'ini!trator and ha%f<!tudent. Not for nothing had I 0%anned in '# #outh to take univer!it# cour!e! in 0h#!ic! and 'athe'atic!. I wa! taking a re!t fro' 0o%itic! and concentrating on Cue!tion! of natura% !cience and techno%og#. 1! head of the e%ectro<technica% oard3 I vi!ited 0ower !tation! in the 0roce!! of con!truction3 and 'ade a tri0 to the 8nie0er3 where 0re0arator# work on a %arge !ca%e wa! under wa# in the con!truction of a h#dro<e%ectric 0ower !tation. +wo oat'en took 'e down the ra0id! in a fi!hing< oat3 a%ong the ancient route of the 6a0oro-ht-i<*o!!ack!. +hi! adventure of cour!e had 'ere%# a !0orting intere!t. )ut I eca'e dee0%# intere!ted in the 8nie0er enter0ri!e3 oth fro' an econo'ic and a technica% 0oint of view. I organi-ed a od# of 1'erican e/0ert!3 %ater aug'ented # 4er'an e/0ert!3 to !afeguard the 0ower !tation fro' defective e!ti'ate!3 and tried to re%ate '# new work not on%# to current econo'ic reCuire'ent! ut a%!o to the funda'enta% 0ro %e'! of !ocia%i!'. In '# !trugg%e again!t the !to%id nationa% a00roach to econo'ic Cue!tion! (9inde0endence? through !e%f<contained i!o%ation) I advanced the 0ro@ect of deve%o0ing a !#!te' of co'0arative indice! of the $oviet and the wor%d econo'#. +hi! wa! the re!u%t of our need for correct orientation in the wor%d 'arket3 eing intended on it! 0art to !erve the need! of the i'0ort and e/0ort trade and of the 0o%ic# of conce!!ion!. In e!!ence3 the 0ro@ect of co'0arative indice! which grew inevita %# fro' a recognition of the 0roductive force! of the wor%d a! do'inating tho!e of a !ing%e nation3 i'0%ied an attack on the reactionar# theor# of 9!ocia%i!' in a !ing%e countr#.? I 'ade 0u %ic re0ort! on 'atter! connected with '# new activit#3 and 0u %i!hed ook! and 0a'0h%et!. "# o00onent! neither cou%d nor cared to acce0t att%e on thi! ground. +he# !u''ed u0 the !ituation in the for'u%a& +rot!k# ha! created a new att%efie%d for hi'!e%f. +he e%ectro< technica% oard and the !cientific in!titution! egan now to worr# the' a%'o!t a! 'uch a! the war de0art'ent and the ,ed 1r'# 0reviou!%# had. +he $ta%in a00aratu! fo%%owed on '# hee%!. Ever# 0ractica% !te0 that I took gave ri!e to a co'0%icated intrigue ehind the !cene!D ever# theoretica% conc%u!ion fed the ignorant '#th of 9+rot!k#i!'.? "# 0ractica% work wa! 0erfor'ed under i'0o!!i %e condition!. It i! no e/aggeration to !a# that 'uch of the creative activit# of

$ta%in and of hi! a!!i!tant "o%otov wa! devoted to organi-ing direct !a otage around 'e. It eca'e 0ractica%%# i'0o!!i %e for the in!titution! under '# direction to o tain the nece!!ar# wherewitha%. Peo0%e working there egan to fear for their future!3 or at %ea!t for their career!. "# atte'0t to win a 0o%itica% ho%ida# for '#!e%f wa! 0atent%# a fai%ure. +he e0igone! cou%d not !to0 ha%f<wa#. +he# were too afraid of what the# had a%read# done. Ye!terda#>! !%ander weighed heavi%# on the'3 de'anding dou %e treacher# toda#. I ended # in!i!ting on eing re%ieved of the e%ectro<technica% oard and the in!titution! of technica% !cience. +he chief con ce!!ion! co''ittee did not 0rovide the !a'e !co0e for intrigue3 !ince the fate of each conce!!ion wa! decided in the Po%it ureau. "eanwhi%e3 0art# affair! had reached a new cri!i!. In the fir!t 0eriod of the !trugg%e3 a trio had een for'ed to o00o!e 'e3 ut it wa! far fro' eing a unit. In theoretica% and 0o%itica% re!0ect!3 oth 6inoviev and Ka'enev were 0ro a %# !u0erior to $ta%in. )ut the# oth %acked that %itt%e thing ca%%ed character. +heir internationa% out%ook3 wider than $ta%in>!3 which the# acCuired under =enin in foreign e/i%e3 did not 'ake their 0o!ition an# !trongerD on the contrar#3 it weakened it. +he 0o%itica% tendenc# wa! toward a !e%f<contained nationa% deve%o0'ent3 and the o%d for'u%a of ,u!!ian 0atrioti!'3 95e>%% ur# the ene'# under a !hower of our ca0!3? wa! now a!!iduou!%# eing tran!%ated into the new !ocia%i!t %anguage. 6inoviev>! and Ka'enev>! atte'0t to u0ho%d the internationa% view0oint3 if on%# to a %i'ited degree3 turned the' into 9+rot!k#i!t!? of the !econd order in the e#e! of the ureaucrac#. +hi! %ed the' to wage their ca'0aign again!t 'e with even 'ore fur#3 !o that the# 'ight win greater confidence fro' the a00aratu!. )ut the!e effort! were a%!o vain. +he a00aratu! wa! ra0id%# di!covering that $ta%in wa! f%e!h of it! f%e!h. 6inoviev and Ka'enev !oon found the'!e%ve! in ho!ti%e o00o!ition to $ta%inD when the# tried to tran!fer the di!0ute fro' the trio to the *entra% *o''ittee3 the# di!covered that $ta%in had a !o%id 'a@orit# there. Ka'enev wa! con!idered the officia% %eader of "o!cow. )ut after the routing with Ka'enev>! 0artici0ation of the "o!cow 0art# organi-ation in 19I33 when the 0art# ca'e out in it! 'a@orit# to !u00ort the o00o!ition3 the rank<and<fi%e of the "o!cow co''uni!t! 'aintained a gri' !i%ence. 5ith the fir!t atte'0t! to re!i!t $ta%in3 Ka'enev found hi'!e%f !u!0ended in air. +he !ituation in =eningrad L1M wa! different. +he =eningrad co''uni!t! were 0rotected fro' the o00o!ition of 19I3 # the heav# %id of 6inoviev>! a00aratu!. )ut now their turn ca'e. +he =eningrad worker! were arou!ed # the 0o%itica% trend in favor of the rich 0ea!ant! B the !o< ca%%ed $ula$s B and a 0o%ic# ai'ed at one<countr# !ocia%i!'. +he c%a!! 0rote!t of the worker! coincided with the high<officia% o00o!ition of 6inoviev. +hu! a new o00o!ition ca'e into e/i!tence3 and one of it! 'e' er! in the fir!t !tage! wa! Nad#e-hda Kon!tantinovna Kru0!ka#a. +o ever# one>! utter !ur0ri!e3 their own 'o!t of a%%3 6inoviev and Ka'enev found the'!e%ve! o %iged to re0eat word for word the critici!'! # the o00o!ition3 and !oon the# were %i!ted a! eing in the ca'0 of the 9+rot!k#i!t!.? It i! %itt%e wonder that in our circ%e3 c%o!er re%ation! with 6inoviev and Ka'enev !ee'ed3 to !a# the %ea!t3 0arado/ica%. +here were a'ong the o00o!itioni!t! 'an# who o00o!ed !uch a %oc. +here were even !o'e3 though on%# a few3 who thought it 0o!!i %e to for' a %oc with $ta%in again!t 6inoviev and Ka'enev. One of '# c%o!e!t friend!3 "rachkov!k#3 an o%d revo%utionar# and one of the fine!t co''ander! in the civi% war3 e/0re!!ed hi'!e%f a! o00o!ed to a %oc with an#one and gave a c%a!!ic e/0%anation of hi! !tand& 9$ta%in wi%% deceive3 and 6inoviev wi%% !neak awa#.? )ut !uch Cue!tion! are fina%%# decided not

# 0!#cho%ogica% ut # 0o%itica% con!ideration!. 6inoviev and Ka'enev o0en%# avowed that the 9+rot!k#i!t!? had een right in the !trugg%e again!t the' ever !ince 19I3. +he# acce0ted the a!ic 0rinci0%e! of our 0%atfor'. In !uch circu'!tance!3 it wa! i'0o!!i %e not to for' a %oc with the'3 e!0ecia%%# !ince thou!and! of revo%utionar# =eningrad worker! were ehind the'. I had not 'et Ka'enev out!ide the officia% 'eeting! for three #ear!3 that i!3 !ince the night on the eve of hi! tri0 to 4eorgia3 when he 0ro'i!ed to u0ho%d the !tand taken # =enin and 'e3 ut3 having %earned of =enin>! grave condition3 went over to $ta%in. 1t our ver# fir!t 'eeting3 Ka'enev dec%ared& 9It i! enough for #ou and 6inoviev to a00ear on the !a'e 0%atfor'3 and the 0art# wi%% find it! true *entra% *o''ittee.? I cou%d not he%0 %aughing at !uch ureaucratic o0ti'i!'. Ka'enev o viou!%# undere!ti'ated the di!integrating effect on the 0art# of the three #ear!> activit# of the trio. I 0ointed it out to hi'3 without the !%ighte!t conce!!ion to hi! fee%ing!. +he revo%utionar# e <tide that had egun at the end of 19I33 that i!3 after the defeat of the revo%utionar# 'ove'ent in 4er'an#3 had a!!u'ed internationa% 0ro0ortion!. In ,u!!ia3 the reaction again!t Octo er wa! 0roceeding at fu%% !0eed. +he 0art# a00aratu! 'ore and 'ore wa! %ining it!e%f u0 with the right wing. Hnder !uch condition!3 it wou%d have een chi%di!h to think that a%% we need do wa! @oin hand! and victor# wou%d dro0 at our feet %ike a ri0e fruit. 95e 'u!t ai' far ahead3? I re0eated do-en! of ti'e! to Ka'enev and 6inoviev. 95e 'u!t 0re0are for a %ong and !eriou! !trugg%e.? On the !0ur of the 'o'ent3 '# new a%%ie! acce0ted thi! for'u%a rave%#. )ut the# didn>t %a!t %ongD the# were fading dai%# and hour%#. "rachkov!k# 0roved right in hi! a00rai!a% of their 0er!ona%itie!. 6inoviev did !neak awa# after a%%3 ut he wa! far fro' eing fo%%owed # a%% of hi! !u00orter!. 1t an# rate3 hi! dou %e a out<face inf%icted an incura %e wound on the %egend of 9+rot!k#i!'.? In the !0ring of 19IQ3 '# wife and I 'ade a tri0 to )er%in. +he "o!cow 0h#!ician!3 at a %o!! to e/0%ain the continuance of '# high te'0erature3 and unwi%%ing to !hou%der the entire re!0on!i i%it#3 had een urging 'e for !o'e ti'e to take a tri0 a road. I wa! eCua%%# an/iou! to find a wa# out of the i#passe3 for '# high te'0erature 0ara%#-ed 'e at the 'o!t critica% 'o'ent!3 and acted a! '# o00onent!> 'o!t !teadfa!t a%%#. +he 'atter of '# vi!it a road wa! taken u0 at the Po%it ureau3 which !tated that it regarded '# tri0 a! e/tre'e%# dangerou! in view of the infor'ation it had and the genera% 0o%itica% !ituation3 ut that it %eft the fina% deci!ion to 'e. +he !tate'ent wa! acco'0anied # a note of reference fro' the 4PH indicating the inad'i!!i i%it# of '# tri0. +he Po%it ureau undou ted%# feared that in the event of an# un0%ea!ant accident to 'e whi%e a road3 the 0art# wou%d ho%d it re!0on!i %e. +he idea of '# enforced e/i%e a road3 and in *on!tantino0%e at that3 had not #et dawned with in the 0o%ice'an>! !ku%% of $ta%in. It i! 0o!!i %e that the Po%it ureau wa! a%!o a00rehen!ive of '# taking action a road to con!o%idate the foreign o00o!ition. Neverthe%e!!3 after con!u%ting '# friend!3 I decided to go. 1rrange'ent! with the 4er'an e' a!!# were co'0%eted with out difficu%t#3 and a out the 'idd%e of 10ri% '# wife and I %eft with a di0%o'atic 0a!!0ort in the na'e of Ku-'#enko3 a 'e' er of the Hkrainian collegiu# of the co''i!!ariat of education. 5e were acco'0anied # '# !ecretar#3 $#er'uk!3 # the for'er co''ander of '# train3 and # a re0re!entative of the 4PH. 6inoviev and Ka'enev 0arted fro' 'e with a !how of rea% fee%ingD the# did not %ike the 0ro!0ect of re'aining e#e<to<e#e with $ta%in.

In the #ear! efore the war3 I had known Aohen-o%%ern )er%in ver# we%%. It had then it! own 0ecu%iar 0h#!iogno'#3 which no one cou%d ca%% 0%ea!ant ut which 'an# thought i'0o!ing. )er%in ha! changed. It ha! now no 0h#!iogno'# at a%%3 at %ea!t none that I cou%d di!cover. +he cit# wa! !%ow%# recovering fro' a %ong and !eriou! di!ea!e who!e cour!e had een acco'0anied # 'an# !urgica% o0eration!. +he inf%ation wa! a%read# over3 ut the !ta i%i-ed 'ark !erved on%# a! a 'ean! of 'ea!uring the genera% an`'ia. In the !treet!3 in the !ho0!3 on the face! of the 0ede!trian!3 one !en!ed the i'0overi!h'ent3 and a%!o that i'0atient3 often avid de!ire to ri!e again. +he 4er'an thoroughne!! and c%ean%ine!! during the hard #ear! of war3 of the defeat and the (er!ai%%e! rigandage3 had een !wa%%owed u0 # dire 0overt#. +he hu'an ant<hi%% wa! !tu orn%# ut @o#%e!!%# re!toring the 0a!!age!3 corridor!3 and !toreroo'! cru!hed # the oot of war. In the rh#th' of the !treet!3 in the 'ove'ent! and ge!ture! of the 0a!!er!< #3 one fe%t a tragic undercurrent of fata%i!'& 9*an>t e he%0edD %ife i! an indefinite ter' at hard<%a orD we 'u!t egin again at the eginning.? For a few week! I wa! under 'edica% o !ervation in a 0rivate c%inic in )er%in. In !earch of the root! of the '#!teriou! te'0erature3 the doctor! !hunted 'e fro' one to another. Fina%%#3 a throat !0ecia%i!t advanced the h#0othe!i! that the !ource wa! '# ton!i%!3 and advi!ed having the' re'oved in an# ca!e. +he diagno!tician! and thera0euti!t! he!itated3 eing 'idd%e<aged 'edica% a!e 'en. )ut the !urgeon3 with the e/0erience of the war ehind hi'3 treated the' with a deva!tating conte'0t. Ae i'0%ied that ton!i%! were now re'oved a! ea!i%# a! !having off a 'ou!tache. I wa! o %iged to con!ent. +he a!!i!tant! were getting read# to tie '# hand!3 ut the !urgeon decided to acce0t 'ora% guarantee!. )ehind hi! encouraging @oco!it#3 I cou%d fee% the ten!ion and contro%%ed e/cite'ent. It wa! a 'o!t un0%ea!ant !en!ation to %ie on the ta %e and choke in one>! own %ood. +he 0roceeding %a!ted fro' fort# to fift# 'inute!. Ever#thing went off we%% B if one over%ook! the fact that the o0eration wa! a00arent%# u!e%e!!3 a! the te'0erature !et in again !o'e ti'e %ater. )ut '# ti'e in )er%in3 at %ea!t that !0ent in the c%inic3 wa! not wa!ted. I i''er!ed '#!e%f in the 4er'an 0re!!3 fro' which I had een a%'o!t co'0%ete%# cut off ever !ince 1ugu!t3 191T. Ever# da# I wa! 0rovided with a !core of 4er'an and a few foreign 0u %ication!3 and after reading the' I wou%d throw the' on the f%oor. +he !0ecia%i!t! who vi!ited 'e had to wa%k on a car0et of new!0a0er! of a%% !hade! of 0o%itica% o0inion. It wa! rea%%# '# fir!t o00ortunit# to %i!ten to the entire range of 4er'an re0u %ican 0o%itic!. I 'u!t confe!! that I did not find an# thing une/0ected there. +he re0u %ic a! the found%ing of the 'i%itar# de ac%e3 the re0u %ican! a! creature! of the (er!ai%%e! co'0u%!ion3 the $ocia% 8e'ocrat! a! the e/ecutor! of the Nove' er revo%ution which the# the'!e%ve! had !'othered3 Ainden urg a! a de'ocratic 0re!ident B in genera%3 it wa! @u!t a! I had i'agined it. 1nd #et it wa! ver# in!tructive to e a %e to view it at c%o!e range. On "a# 13 '# wife and I went out for a drive around the cit# in an auto'o i%e. 5e vi!ited the 0rinci0a% di!trict!3 watched 0roce!!ion!3 read 0%acard!3 %i!tened to !0eeche!3 drove to the 1%e/ander0%at-3 and 'ing%ed with the crowd. I had !een 'an# "a#da# 0roce!!ion! that were 'ore i'0o!ing and 'ore decorative3 ut it wa! %ong !ince I had een a %e to 'ove a out in a crowd without attracting an#one>! attention3 fee%ing '#!e%f a 0art of the na'e%e!! who%e3

%i!tening and o !erving. On%# once did our co'0anion !a# to 'e cautiou!%#& 9+here the# are !e%%ing #our 0hotogra0h!.? )ut fro' tho!e 0hotogra0h! no one wou%d have recogni-ed the 'e' er of the collegiu# of the co''i!!ariat of education3 Ku-'#enko. In ca!e the!e %ine! !hou%d 'eet the e#e! of *ount 5e!tar03 of Aer'ann "U%%er3 $tre!e'ann LIM3 *ount ,event%ow3 Ai%ferding3 or of an# other! who o00o!ed '# ad'i!!ion into 4er'an#3 I think it nece!!ar# to infor' the' that I did not 0roc%ai' an# re0rehen!i %e !%ogan!3 !tick u0 an# outrageou! 0o!ter!3 that in genera% I wa! 'ere%# an o !erver waiting to undergo an o0eration a few da#! %ater. 5e a%!o attended the 9wine fe!tiva%? out!ide the cit#. Aere were horde! of 0eo0%e3 ut in !0ite of the !0ring 'ood3 enhanced # !un and wine3 the gra# !hadow of 0a!t #ear! %a# over the 'err#< 'aking3 a! we%% a! over tho!e who were tr#ing to 'ake 'err#. You had on%# to %ook c%o!er and the# a%% !ee'ed %ike !%ow%# recovering conva%e!cent!D their gaiet# !ti%% co!t the' a great effort. 5e !0ent a few hour! in the thick of the crowd3 o !erved3 ta%ked3 ate frankfurter! fro' 0a0er 0%ate!3 and even drank eer3 the ver# ta!te of which we had forgotten !ince 191;. I wa! recovering fro' the o0eration Cuick%#3 and wa! con!idering the date of our de0arture. 1t thi! 0oint3 an une/0ected thing ha00ened3 which even toda# i! !ti%% !o'ething of a 0u--%e to 'e. 1 out a week efore '# intended de0arture3 there a00eared in the corridor of the c%inic two gent%e'en of that indefinite a00earance which !o definite%# 0roc%ai'! the 0o%ice 0rofe!!ion. =ooking into the court#ard fro' the window3 I di!covered e%ow 'e a out ha%f a do-en 'en %ike the'3 who3 though differing !o'ewhat a'ong the'!e%ve!3 !ti%% re!e' %ed each other re'arka %#. I drew Kre!tin!k#>! attention to it. 1 few 'inute! %ater3 one of the a!!i!tant<doctor! knocked on the door and e/cited%# announced B at the reCue!t of hi! chief B that I wa! in danger of an atte'0t on '# %ife. 9Not # the 0o%ice3 I ho0eE? I a!ked3 0ointing to the 'an# agent!. +he doctor ha-arded a !ugge!tion that the 0o%ice were there to 0revent the atte'0t. +wo or three 'inute! %ater a 0o%ice<in!0ector (poli7eirat) arrived and to%d Kre!tin!k# that the 0o%ice had actua%%# received infor'ation a out an atte'0t on '# %ife3 and had taken e/traordinar# 0rotective 'ea!ure!. +he entire c%inic wa! agog. +he nur!e! to%d each other and the 0atient! that the c%inic wa! har oring +rot!k#3 and ecau!e of that !evera% o' ! were going to e thrown at the ui%ding. +he at'o!0here created wa! %itt%e !uited to a curative in!titution. I arranged with Kre!tin!k# to go at once to the $oviet e' a!!#. +he !treet in front of the c%inic wa! arricaded # the 0o%ice. I wa! e!corted # 0o%ice 'otor<car!. +he officia% ver!ion of the e0i!ode wa! !o'ething %ike thi!& One of the 4er'an 'onarchi!t! arre!ted in connection with a new%# di!covered con!0irac# 'ade a !tate'ent to the court e/a'iner B or !o it wa! a%%eged B that the ,u!!ian 5hite 4uard! were arranging for an ear%# atte'0t on the %ife of +rot!k#3 who wa! !tated to e in )er%in. +he 4er'an di0%o'ac#3 through which '# tri0 had een arranged3 had de%i erate%# refrained fro' infor'ing it! 0o%ice ecau!e of the con!idera %e nu' er of 'onarchi!t! a'ong the rank!. +he 0o%ice did not give 'uch credence to the re0ort of the arre!ted 'onarchi!t3 ut neverthe%e!! checked u0 on hi! !tate'ent a out '# !ta#ing at the c%inic. +o their great a'a-e'ent3 the infor'ation 0roved correct. 1! inCuirie! had een 'ade of the 0h#!ician! a! we%%3 I received two !i'u%taneou! warning! B one fro' the a!!i!tant<doctor3 the other fro' the 0o%ice<in!0ector. 5hether an atte'0t had rea%%# een 0%anned3 and whether the 0o%ice rea%%# %earned of '# arriva% through the arre!ted 'onarchi!t3 are Cue!tion! that even toda# I cannot an!wer.

)ut I !u!0ect that the ca!e wa! 'uch !i'0%er. One 'a# a!!u'e that the di0%o'atic circ%e! fai%ed to kee0 the 9!ecret3? and the 0o%ice3 hurt # the %ack of confidence in the'3 decided to de'on!trate3 either to $tre!e'ann or to 'e3 that ton!i%! cou%d not e re'oved without their aid. 5hatever the e/0%anation3 the c%inic wa! turned u0!ide down3 whi%e under thi! 'ight# 0rotection again!t '# h#0othetica% ene'ie!3 I 'oved over to the e' a!!#. (ague and fee %e echoe! of thi! !tor# %ater found their wa# into the 4er'an 0re!!3 ut it !ee'! that no one wa! inc%ined to e%ieve the'. +he da#! of '# !ta# in )er%in coincided with certain i'0ortant event! in Euro0e& the genera% !trike in Eng%and3 and Pi%!ud!ki>! coup d<tat in Po%and. )oth the!e occurrence! great%# accentuated '# di!agree'ent! with the e0igone!3 and deter'ined in advance the !tor'ier deve%o0'ent of our %ater !trugg%e. 1 few word! on that !u @ect !hou%d e inc%uded here. $ta%in3 )ukharin3 and B in the fir!t 0eriod B 6inoviev a! we%%3 !aw the crowning achieve'ent of their 0o%ic# in the di0%o'atic %oc etween the higher grou0! of the $oviet trade!<union! and the 4enera% *ounci% of the )riti!h trade!<union!. In hi! 0rovincia% narrowne!!3 $ta%in i'agined that Purce%% and other trade!<union %eader! were read# or a %e3 in a difficu%t 'o'ent3 to %end !u00ort to the $oviet re0u %ic again!t the )riti!h bourgeoisie. 1! for the )riti!h union %eader!3 the# e%ieved3 with !o'e @u!tification3 that in view of the cri!i! in )riti!h ca0ita%i!' and the increa!ing di!content of the 'a!!e!3 it wou%d e 0o%itic for the' to e covered on their %eft # 'ean! of an officia% ut actua%%# non<co''itta% friend!hi0 with the %eader! of the $oviet trade!< union!. )oth !ide! did a great dea% of eating a out the u!h3 for the 'o!t 0art avoiding ca%%ing thing! # their rea% na'e!. 1 rotten 0o%ic# ha! 'ore than once een wrecked on great event!. +he genera% !trike in Eng%and in "a#3 19IQ3 0roved to e a great event not on%# in Eng%i!h %ife3 ut a%!o in the inner %ife of our 0art#. Eng%and>! fate after the war wa! a !u @ect of a !or ing intere!t. +he radica% change in her wor%d 0o!ition cou%d not fai% to ring a out change! @u!t a! radica% in the inner corre%ation of her force!. It wa! c%ear that even if Euro0e3 inc%uding Eng%and3 were to re!tore a certain !ocia% eCui%i riu' for a 'ore or %e!! e/ tended 0eriod3 Eng%and her!e%f cou%d reach !uch an eCui%i riu' on%# # 'ean! of a !erie! of !eriou! conf%ict! and !hake<u0!. I thought it 0ro a %e that in Eng%and3 of a%% 0%ace!3 the fight in the coa% indu!tr# wou%d %ead to a genera% !trike. Fro' thi! I a!!u'ed that the e!!entia% contradiction etween the o%d organi-ation! of the working c%a!! and it! new hi!torica% ta!k! wou%d of cour!e e revea%ed in the near future. 8uring the winter and !0ring of 19I53 whi%e I wa! in the *auca!u!3 I wrote a ook on thi! B *hither (n#land= +he ook wa! ai'ed e!!entia%%# at the officia% conce0tion of the Po%it ureau3 with it! ho0e of an evo%ution to the %eft # the )riti!h 4enera% *ounci%3 and of a gradua% and 0ain%e!! 0enetration of co''uni!' into the rank! of the )riti!h =a or Part# and trade!<union!. In 0art to avoid unnece!!ar# co'0%ication!3 in 0art to check u0 on '# o00onent!3 I !u 'itted the 'anu!cri0t of the ook to the Po%it ureau. $ince it wa! a Cue!tion of foreca!t3 rather than of critici!' after the fact3 none of the 'e' er! of the Po%it ureau ventured to e/0re!! hi'!e%f. +he ook 0a!!ed !afe%# # the cen!or! and wa! 0u %i!hed e/act%# a! it had een written. 1 %itt%e %ater3 it a%!o a00eared in Eng%i!h. +he officia% %eader! of )riti!h $ocia%i!' treated it a! the fanta!# of a foreigner who did not know )riti!h condition!3 who cou%d drea' of tran!ferring the 9,u!!ian? genera% !trike to the !oi% of the )riti!h I!%e!. $uch e!ti'ate! cou%d have een counted # the do-en!3 even # the hundred!3 eginning with "ac8ona%d hi'!e%f3 who in the 0o%itica%< ana%itie! conte!t indi!0uta %# carried off fir!t

0ri-e. )ut within a few 'onth! the !trike of the coa% 'iner! eca'e a genera% !trike. I had not e/0ected !uch an ear%# confir'ation of '# foreca!t. If the genera% !trike 0roved the rightne!! of the "ar/i!t foreca!t again!t the ho'e<'ade e!ti'ate! of the )riti!h refor'i!t!3 the ehavior of the 4enera% *ounci% during the genera% !trike !ignified the co%%a0!e of $ta%in>! ho0e! of Purce%%. I eager%# gathered and co%%ated in the c%inic a%% the infor'ation a out the cour!e of the genera% !trike and e!0ecia%%# a out the re%ation! etween the 'a!!e! and their %eader!. +he thing that 'ade '# gorge ri!e wa! the nature of the artic%e! in the "o!cow Pra da. It! chief concern wa! to !creen ankru0tc# and !ave it! face. +hi! cou%d e achieved on%# # a c#nica% di!tortion of the fact!. +here can e no greater 0roof of the inte%%ectua% downfa%% of a revo%utionar# 0o%itician than dece0tion of the 'a!!e!. H0on '# return to "o!cow3 I de'anded an i''ediate reaking u0 of the %oc with the )riti!h 4enera% *ounci%. 6inoviev3 after the inevita %e vaci%%ation3 !ided with 'e. ,adek wa! o00o!ed. $ta%in c%ung to the %oc3 even to the !e' %ance of one3 for a%% he wa! worth. +he )riti!h trade!< unioni!t! waited unti% their acute inner cri!i! wa! at an end3 and then uncivi%%# kicked their generou! ut 'udd%e<headed a%%# awa#. Event! @u!t a! !ignificant were taking 0%ace in Po%and at the !a'e ti'e. In frantic !earch for a wa# out3 the 0ett# bourgeoisie entered on a re e%%ion and rai!ed Pi%!ud!ki on it! !hie%d. +he %eader of the co''uni!t 0art#3 (ar!ki3 decided that 9a de'ocratic dictator!hi0 of the 0rF%etariat and 0ea!antr#? wa! deve%o0ing there efore hi! ver# e#e!3 and ca%%ed on the *o''uni!t 0art# to !u00ort Pi%!ud!ki. I had known (ar!ki for a %ong ti'e. 5hen ,o!a =u/e' urg wa! !ti%% a%ive3 he wa! 0erha0! a %e to ho%d hi! 0%ace in the revo%utionar# rank!. =eft a%one3 he wa! a%wa#! a vacanc#. In 19IT3 after great he!itation3 he announced that at %a!t he rea%i-ed the evi% of 9+rot!k#i!'3? that i!3 of the under<a00reciation of the 0ea!antr# for the !ucce!! of the de'ocratic dictator!hi0. 1! a reward for hi! o edience3 he wa! given the 0o!t of %eader3 and watched i'0atient%# for an occa!ion for u!ing the !0ur! that it had taken hi' !o %ong to win. In "a#3 19IQ3 he !ei-ed hi! o00ortunit#3 on%# to di!grace hi'!e%f and !0atter the f%ag of the 0art#. Ae went un0uni!hed3 of cour!eD the $ta%in a00aratu! !hie%ded hi' fro' the wrath of the Po%i!h worker!. 8uring 19IQ3 the 0art# !trugg%e deve%o0ed with increa!ing inten!it#. In the autu'n3 the o00o!ition even 'ade an o0en !ortie at the 'eeting! of the 0art# %oca%!. +he a00aratu! counter attacked with fur#. +he !trugg%e of idea! gave 0%ace to ad'ini!trative 'echanic!& te%e0hone !u''on! of the 0art# ureaucrat! to attend the 'eeting! of the worker!> %oca%!3 an accu'u%ation of auto'o i%e! with hooting !iren! in front of a%% the 'eeting!3 and a we%%<organi-ed whi!t%ing and ooing at the a00earance of the o00o!itioni!t! on the 0%atfor'. +he ru%ing faction e/erted it! 0re!!ure # a 'echanica% concentration of it! force!3 # threat! and re0ri!a%!. )efore the 'a!! of the 0art# had ti'e to hear3 gra!0 or !a# an#thing3 the# were afraid of the 0o!!i i%it# of a !0%it and a cata!tro0he. +he o00o!ition wa! o %iged to eat a retreat. On Octo er iQ3 we 'ade a dec%aration announcing that a%though we con!idered our view! @u!t and re!erved the right of fighting for the' within the fra'ework of the 0art#3 we renounced the u!e of activitie! that 'ight engender the danger of a !0%it. +he dec%aration of Octo er 1Q wa! intended not for the a00aratu! ut for the 'a!! of the 0art#. It wa! an e/0re!!ion of our de!ire to re'ain in the 0art# and !erve it further. 1%though the $ta%inite! egan to reak the truce the da# after it wa! conc%uded3 !ti%% we gained

ti'e. +he winter of 19IQ<; gave u! a certain reathing<!0e%% which a%%owed u! to carr# out a 'ore thorough theoretica% e/a'ination of 'an# Cue!tion!. 1! ear%# a! the eginning of 19I;3 6inoviev wa! read# to ca0itu%ate3 if not a%% at once3 at %ea!t gradua%%#. )ut then ca'e the !taggering event! in *hina. +he cri'ina% character of $ta%in>! 0o%ic# hit one in the e#e. It 0o!t0oned for a ti'e the ca0itu%ation of 6inoviev and of a%% who fo%%owed hi' %ater. +he e0igone!> %eader!hi0 in *hina tra'0%ed on a%% the tradition! of )o%!hevi!'. +he *hine!e *o''uni!t 0art# wa! forced again!t it! wi%% to @oin the ourgeoi! Kuo'intang 0art# and !u 'it to it! 'i%itar# di!ci0%ine. +he creating of $oviet! wa! for idden. +he *o''uni!t! were advi!ed to ho%d the agrarian revo%ution in check3 and to a !tain fro' ar'ing the worker! without the 0er'i!!ion of the bourgeoisie. =ong efore *hiang Ka%<!hek cru!hed the $hanghai worker! and concentrated the 0ower in the hand! of a 'i%itar# c%iCue3 we i!!ued warning! that !uch a con!eCuence wa! inevita %e. $ince 19I53 I had de'anded the withdrawa% of the co''uni!t! fro' the Kuo'intang. +he 0o%ic# of $ta%in and )ukharin not on%# 0re0ared for and faci%itated the cru!hing of the revo%ution ut3 with the he%0 of re0ri!a%! # the !tate a00aratu!3 !hie%ded the counter<revo%utionar# work of *hiang Kai<!hek fro' our critici!'. In 10ri%3 19I;3 at the 0art# 'eeting in the Aa%% of *o%u'n!3 $ta%in !ti%% defended the 0o%ic# of coa%ition with *hiang Kai< !hek and ca%%ed for confidence in hi'. Five or !i/ da#! %ater3 *hiang Kai<!hek drowned the $hanghai worker! and the *o''uni!t 0art# in %ood. 1 wave of e/cite'ent !we0t over the 0art#. +he o00o!ition rai!ed it! head. 1nd di!regarding a%% ru%e! of 9conspirat7ia? B and at that ti'e3 in "o!cow3 we were a%read# o %iged to defend the *hine!e worker! again!t *hiang Ka%<!hek # u!ing the 'ethod! of 9conspirat7ia? B the o00o!ioni!t! ca'e to 'e # !core! in the office! of the *hief *once!!ion! *o''ittee. "an# #ounger co'rade! thought the 0atent ankru0tc# of $ta%in>! 0o%ic# wa! ound to ring the triu'0h of the o00o!ition nearer. 8uring the fir!t da#! after the coup d<tat # *hiang Kai<!hek3 I wa! o %iged to 0our 'an# a ucket of co%d water over the hot head! of '# #oung friend! B and over !o'e not !o #oung. I tried to !how the' that the o00o!ition cou%d not ri!e on the de%eat of the *hine!e ,evo%ution. +he fact that our foreca!t had 0roved correct 'ight attract one thou!and3 five thou!and3 or even ten thou!and new !u00orter! to u!. )ut for the 'i%%ion!3 the !ignificant thing wa! not our foreca!t3 ut the fact of the cru!hing of the *hine!e 0rF%etariat. 1fter the defeat of the 4er'an ,evo%ution in 19I33 after the reakdown of the Eng%i!h genera% !trike in 19I53 the new di!a!ter in *hina wou%d on%# inten!if# the di!a00oint'ent of the 'a!!e! in the internationa% revo%ution. 1nd it wa! thi! !a'e di!a00oint'ent that !erved a! the chief 0!#cho%ogic !ource for $ta%in>! 0o%ic# of nationa%<refor'i!'. In a ver# !hort ti'e3 it wa! a00arent that a! a faction we had undou ted%# gained in !trength B that i! to !a#3 we had grown 'ore united inte%%ectua%%#3 and !tronger in nu' er!. )ut the u' i%ica% cord that connected u! with 0ower wa! cut # the !word of *hiang Kai<!hek. Ai! fina%%# di!credited ,u!!ian a%%#3 $ta%in3 now had on%# to co'0%ete the cru!hing of the $hanghai worker! # routing the o00o!ition within the 0art#. +he ack one of the o00o!ition wa! a grou0 of o%d revo%utionarie!. )ut we were no %onger a%one. Aundred! and thou!and! of revo%utionarie! of the new generation were grou0ed a out u!. +hi! new generation had een awakened # the Octo er ,evo%utionD it had taken 0art in the civi% warD it !tood at attention efore the great

authorit# of =enin>! *entra% *o''ittee. On%# !ince 19I3 had it egun to think inde0endent%#3 to critici!e3 to a00%# "ar/i!t 'ethod! to new turn! in the deve%o0'ent3 and3 what i! !ti%% 'ore difficu%t3 to %earn to !hou%der the re!0on!i i%it# of revo%utionar# initiative. 1t 0re!ent there are thou!and! of !uch #oung revo%utionarie! who are aug'enting their 0o%itica% e/0erience # !tud#ing theor# in the 0ri!on! and the e/i%e of the $ta%in rNgi'e. +he %eading grou0 of the o00o!ition faced thi! fina%e with it! e#e! wide o0en. 5e rea%i-ed on%# too c%ear%# that we cou%d 'ake our idea! the co''on 0ro0ert# of the new generation not # di0%o'ac# and eva!ion! ut on%# # an o0en !trugg%e which !hirked none of the 0ractica% con!eCuence!. 5e went to 'eet the inevita %e debacle3 confident3 however3 that we were 0aving the wa# for the triu'0h of our idea! in a 'ore di!tant future. +he 0re!!ure of 'ateria% force ha! a%wa#! 0%a#ed3 and !ti%% 0%a#!3 a great rF%e in hu'anit#>! hi!tor#D !o'eti'e! it i! a 0rogre!!ive rF%e3 'ore often a reactionar# oneD it! character de0end! on what c%a!! a00%ie! the force3 and to what end. )ut it i! a far cr# fro' thi! to the e%ief that force can !o%ve all 0ro %e'! and overco'e all o !tac%e!. It i! 0o!!i %e # force of ar'! to check the deve%o0'ent of 0rogre!!ive hi!torica% tendencie!D it i! not 0o!!i %e to %ock the road of the advance of 0rogre!!ive idea! for ever. +hat i! wh#3 when the !trugg%e i! one for great 0rinci0%e!3 the revo%utionar# can on%# fo%%ow one ru%e& 3ais ce 4ue dois, ad(ienne 4ue pourra. +he nearer drew the ti'e for the fifteenth congre!!3 !et for the end of 19I;3 the 'ore the 0art# fe%t that it had reached a cro!!road! in hi!tor#. 1%ar' wa! rife in the rank!. In !0ite of a 'on!trou! terror3 the de!ire to hear the o00o!ition awoke in the 0art#. +hi! cou%d e achieved on%# # i%%ega% 'ean!. $ecret 'eeting! were he%d in variou! 0art! of "o!cow and =eningrad3 attended # worker! and !tudent! of oth !e/e!3 who gathered in grou0! of fro' twent# to one hundred and two hundred to hear !o'e re0re!entative of the o00o!ition. In one da# I wou%d vi!it two3 three3 and !o'eti'e! four of !uch 'eeting!. +he# were u!ua%%# he%d in !o'e worker>! a0art'ent. +wo !'a%% roo'! wou%d e 0acked with 0eo0%e3 and the !0eaker wou%d !tand at the door etween the two roo'!. $o'eti'e! ever# one wou%d !it on the f%oorD 'ore often the di!cu!!ion had to e carried on !tand ig3 for %ack of !0ace. Occa!iona%%# re0re!entative! of the *ontro% *o''i!!ion wou%d a00ear at !uch 'eeting! and de'and that ever#one %eave. +he# were invited to take 0art in the di!cu!!ion. If the# cau!ed an# di!tur ance the# were 0ut out. In a%%3 a out I23222 0eo0%e attended !uch 'eeting! in "o!cow and =eningrad. +he nu' er wa! growing. +he o00o!ition c%ever%# 0re0ared a huge 'eeting in the ha%% of the Aigh +echnica% $choo%3 which had een occu0ied fro' within. +he ha%% wa! cra''ed with two thou!and 0eo0%e3 whi%e a huge crowd re'ained out!ide in the !treet. +he atte'0t! of the ad'ini!tration to !to0 the 'eeting 0roved ineffectua%. Ka'enev and I !0oke for a out two hour!. Fina%%# the *entra% *o''ittee i!!ued an a00ea% to the worker! to reak u0 the 'eeting! of the o00o!ition # force. +hi! a00ea% wa! 'ere%# a !creen for carefu%%# 0re0ared attack! on the o00o!ition # 'i%itar# unit! under the guidance of the 4PH. $ta%in wanted a %ood# !ett%e'ent of the conf%ict. 5e gave the !igna% for a te'0orar# di!continuance of the %arge 'eeting!. )ut thi! wa! not unti% after the de'on!tration of Nove' er ;. In Octo er of 19I;3 the *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee he%d it! !e!!ion in =eningrad. In honor of the occa!ion3 the authoritie! !taged a 'a!! de'on!tration. )ut through an unfore!een circu'!tance3 the de'on!tration took an entire%# une/0ected turn. 6inoviev and I and a few

other! of the o00o!ition were 'aking the round! of the cit# # auto'o i%e3 to !ee the !i-e and te'0er of the de'on!tration. +oward the end of our drive3 we a00roached the +aurid Pa%ace where 'otor<truck! were drawn u0 a! 0%atfor'! for the 'e' er! of the *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee. Our auto'o i%e !to00ed !hort efore a %ine of 0o%iceD there wa! no farther 0a!!age. )efore we cou%d 'ake u0 our 'ind! how to get out of the i#passe3 the co''ander hurried to our car and Cuite gui%e%e!!%# offered to e!cort u! to the 0%atfor'. )efore we cou%d overco'e our he!itation3 two %ine! of 0o%ice o0ened a wa# for u! to the %a!t 'otor<truck3 which wa! !ti%% unoccu0ied. 5hen the 'a!!e! %earned that we were on the %a!t 0%atfor'3 the character of the de'on!tration changed in!tant%#. +he 0eo0%e egan to 0a!! # the fir!t truck! indifferent%#3 with out even an!wering the greeting! fro' the'3 and hurried on to our 0%atfor'. $oon a ank of thou!and! of 0eo0%e had een for'ed around our truck. 5orker! and !o%dier! ha%ted3 %ooked u03 !houted their greeting!3 and then were o %iged to 'ove on ecau!e of the i'0atient 0re!!ure of tho!e ehind the'. 1 0%atoon of 0o%ice which wa! !ent to our truck to re!tore order wa! it!e%f caught u0 # the genera% 'ood3 and took no action. Aundred! of tru!ted agent! of the a00aratu! were de!0atched into the thick of the crowd. +he# tried to whi!t%e u! down3 ut their i!o%ated whi!t%e! were Cuite drowned # the !hout! of !#'0ath#. +he %onger thi! continued3 the 'ore into%era %e the !ituation eca'e for the officia% %eader! of the de'on!tration. In the end3 the chair'an of the *entra% E/ecutive *o''ittee and a few of it! 'o!t 0ro'inent 'e' er! ca'e down fro' the fir!t 0%atfor'3 around which there wa! nothing ut a va!t gu%f of e'0tine!!3 and c%i' ed onto our!3 which !tood at the ver# end and wa! in tended for the %ea!t i'0ortant gue!t!. )ut even thi! o%d !te0 fai%ed to !ave the !ituation3 for the 0eo0%e ke0t !houting na'e! B and the na'e! were not tho!e of the officia% 'a!ter! of the !ituation. 6inoviev wa! in!tant%# o0ti'i!tic3 and e/0ected 'o'entou! con!eCuence! fro' thi! 'anife!tation of !enti'ent. I did not !hare hi! i'0u%!ive e!ti'ate. +he working 'a!!e! of =eningrad de'on!trated their di!!ati!faction in the for' of 0%atonic !#'0ath# for the %eader! of the o00o!ition3 ut the# were !ti%% una %e to 0revent the a00aratu! fro' 'aking !hort work of u!. On thi! !core I had no i%%u!ion!. On the other hand3 the de'on!tration wa! ound to !ugge!t to the ru%ing faction the nece!!it# of !0eeding u0 the de!truction of the o00o!ition3 !o that the 'a!!e! 'ight e confronted with an acco'0%i!hed fact. +he ne/t %and'ark wa! the "o!cow de'on!tration in honor of the tenth anniver!ar# of the Octo er ,evo%ution. +he organi-er! of the de'on!tration3 the author! of the @u i%ee artic%e!3 and the !0eaker! were3 in 'o!t ca!e!3 0eo0%e who either had een on the other !ide of the arricade during the event! of Octo er3 or had !i'0%# !ought !he%ter under the fa'i%# roof unti% the# cou%d !ee what had ha00ened3 and had @oined the revo%ution on%# after it had won a !ecure victor#. It wa! with a'u!e'ent rather than itterne!! that I read artic%e! and %i!tened to radio !0eeche! in which the!e hanger!<on accu!ed 'e of trea!on to the Octo er ,evo%ution. 5hen #ou under!tand the d#na'ic! of the hi!torica% 0roce!! and !ee how #our o00onent i! eing 0u%%ed # !tring! contro%%ed # a hand unknown to hi'3 then the 'o!t di!gu!ting act! of tur0itude and 0erfid# %o!e their 0ower over #ou. +he o00o!itioni!t! decided to take 0art in the genera% 0roce!!ion3 carr#ing their own 0%acard!3 with their !%ogan!. +he!e were in no !en!e directed again!t the 0art#D the# read3 for e/a'0%e& 9=et u! turn our fire to the right B again!t the ku%ak3 the ne0'an and the ureaucrat.? ...

9=et u! carr# out =enin>! wi%%.? ... 91gain!t o00ortuni!'3 again!t a !0%it3 and for the unit# of =enin>! 0art#.? +oda#3 the!e !%ogan! for' the officia% credo of the $ta%in faction in it! fight again!t the right wing. On Nove' er ;3 the 0%acard! of the o00o!ition were !natched fro' their hand! and torn to 0iece!3 whi%e their earer! were 'au%ed # !0ecia%%# organi-ed unit!. +he officia% %eader! had %earned their %e!!on in the =eningrad de'on!tration3 and thi! ti'e their 0re0aration! were 'uch 'ore efficient. +he 'a!!e! were !howing !ign! of unea!ine!!. +he# @oined in the de'on!tration with 'ind! that were 0rofound%# di!Cuieted. 1nd a ove the a%ar'ed and ewi%dered 0eo0%e3 two active grou0! were ri!ing B the o00o!ition and the a00aratu!. 1! vo%unteer! in the fight again!t the 9+rot!k#i!t!3? notoriou!%# non<revo%utionar# and !o'eti'e! !heer Fa!ci!t e%e'ent! in the !treet! of "o!cow were now co'ing to the aid of the a00aratu!. 1 0o%ice'an3 0retending to e giving a warning3 !hot o0en%# at '# auto'o i%e. $o'eone wa! guiding hi! hand. 1 drunken officia% of the fire< rigade3 !houting i'0recation!3 @u'0ed on the running< oard of '# auto'o i%e and !'a!hed the g%a!!. +o one who cou%d !ee3 the incident! in the "o!cow !treet! on Nove' er ;3 19I;3 were o viou!%# a rehear!a% of the +her'idor. 1 !i'i%ar de'on!tration took 0%ace in =eningrad. 6inoviev and ,adek3 who had gone there3 were %aid ho%d of # a !0ecia% detach'ent3 and under the 0reten!e of 0rotection fro' the crowd3 were !hut u0 in one of the ui%ding! for the duration of the de'on!tration. On the !a'e da#3 6inoviev wrote u! in "o!cow& 91%% the infor'ation at hand indicate! that thi! outrage wi%% great%# enefit our cau!e. 5e are worried to know what ha00ened with #ou. *ontact! Lthat i!3 !ecret di!cu!!ion! with the worker!M are 0roceeding ver# we%% here. +he change in our favor i! great. For the ti'e eing we do not 0ro0o!e to %eave.? +hi! wa! the %a!t f%a!h of energ# fro' the o00o!ition of 6inoviev. 1 da# %ater he wa! in "o!cow3 in!i!ting on the nece!!it# of !urrender. On Nove' er 1Q3 7offe co''itted !uicideD hi! death wa! a wedge in the growing !trugg%e. 7offe wa! a ver# !ick 'an. Ae had een rought ack fro' 7a0an3 where he wa! $oviet a' a!!ador3 in a !eriou! condition. "an# o !tac%e! were 0%aced in the wa# of hi! eing !ent a road3 ut hi! !ta# there wa! too rief3 and a%though it had it! eneficia% re!u%t!3 the# were not !ufficient co'0en!ation. 7offe eca'e '# de0ut# in the *hief *once!!ion! *o''ittee3 and a%% the heav# routine fe%% on hi'. +he cri!i! in the 0art# di!tur ed hi' great%#. +he thing that worried hi' 'o!t wa! the treacher#. $evera% ti'e! he wa! read# to throw hi'!e%f into the thick of the !trugg%e. *oncerned for hi! hea%th3 I tried to ho%d hi' ack. 7offe wa! e!0ecia%%# furiou! at the ca'0aign in connection with the theor# of 0er'anent revo%ution. Ae cou%dn>t !to'ach the vi%e aiting of tho!e who had fore!een3 %ong in advance of the re!t3 the cour!e and character of the revo%ution3 # tho!e who were 'ere%# en@o#ing it! fruit!. 7offe to%d 'e of hi! conver!ation with =enin B it took 0%ace in 19193 if I a' not 'i!taken B on the !u @ect of 0er'anent revo%ution. =enin !aid to hi'& 9Ye!3 +rot!k# 0roved to e right.? 7offe wanted to 0u %i!h that conver!ation3 ut I tried '# e!t to di!!uade hi'. I cou%d vi!ua%i-e the ava%anche of aiting that wou%d cra!h down u0on hi'. 7offe wa! 0ecu%iar%# 0er!i!tent3 and under a !oft e/terior he concea%ed an ina%tera %e wi%%. 1t each new out ur!t of aggre!!ive ignorance and 0o%itica% treacher#3 he wou%d co'e to 'e again3 with a drawn and indignant face3 and re0eat& 9I 'u!t 'ake it 0u %ic.? I wou%d

argue with hi' again that !uch 9evidence of a witne!!? cou%d change nothingD that it wa! nece!!ar# to re<educate the new generation of the 0art#3 and to ai' far ahead. 7offe had een una %e to co'0%ete hi! cure a road3 and hi! 0h#!ica% condition wa! growing wor!e ever# da#. +oward autu'n3 he wa! co'0e%%ed to !to0 work3 and then he wa! %aid %ow a%together. Ai! friend! again rai!ed the Cue!tion of !ending hi' a road3 ut thi! ti'e the *entra% *o''ittee refu!ed 0oint< %ank. +he $ta%inite! were now 0re0aring to !end the o00o!itioni!t! in Cuite a different direction. "# e/0u%!ion fro' the *entra% *o''ittee and then fro' the 0art# !tart%ed 7offe 'ore than an# one e%!e. +o hi! 0er!ona% and 0o%itica% wrath wa! added the itter rea%i-ation of hi! own 0h#!ica% he%0%e!!ne!!. 7offe fe%t unerring%# that the future of the revo%ution wa! at !take. It wa! no %onger in hi! 0ower to fight3 and %ife a0art fro' !trugg%e 'eant nothing for hi'. $o he drew hi! fina% conc%u!ion. 1t that ti'e I had a%read# 'oved fro' the Kre'%in to the ho'e of '# friend )#e%o orodov3 who for'a%%# wa! !ti%% 0eo0%e>! co''i!!ar# of the interior3 a%though the agent! of the 4PH were on hi! hee%! wherever he went. )#e%o orodov wa! then awa# in hi! native Hra%!3 where he wa! tr#ing to reach the worker! in the !trugg%e again!t the a00aratu!. I te%e0honed 7offe>! a0art'ent to a!k the !tate of hi! hea%th. Ae hi'!e%f an!weredD the te%e0hone wa! e!ide hi! ed. In the tone of hi! voice B ut I rea%i-ed thi! on%# %ater B there wa! !o'ething !trange and a%ar'ing. Ae a!ked 'e to co'e to hi'. $o'e chance 0revented 'e fro' doing !o i''ediate%#. In tho!e !tor'# da#!3 co'rade! ca%%ed continuou!%# at )#e%o orodov>! hou!e to confer with 'e on i'0ortant 'atter!. 1n hour or two %ater an unfa'i%iar voice in for'ed 'e over the te%e0hone& 91do%0h 1 ra'ovich ha! !hot hi'!e%f. +here i! a 0acket for #ou on hi! ed<!ide ta %e.? In )#e%o orodov>! hou!e3 there were a%wa#! a few 'i%itar# o00o!itioni!t! on dut# to acco'0an# 'e in '# 'ove'ent! a out town. 5e !et off in ha!te for 7offe>!. In an!wer to our ringing and knocking3 !o'e one de'anded our na'e! fro' ehind the door and then o0ened it after !o'e de%a#D !o'ething '#!teriou! wa! going on in!ide. 1! we entered3 I !aw the ca%' and infinite%# tender face of 1do%0h 1 ra'ovich again!t a %ood<!tained 0i%%ow. ).3 a 'e' er of the oard of the 4PH3 wa! at 7offe>! de!k. +he 0acket wa! gone fro' the ed!ide ta %e. I de'anded it! return at once. ). 'uttered that there wa! no %etter at a%%. Ai! 'anner and voice %eft 'e in no dou t that he wa! %#ing. 1 few 'inute! %ater3 friend! fro' a%% 0art! of the cit# egan to 0our into the a0art'ent. +he officia% re0re!entative! of the co''i!!ariat of foreign affair! and of the 0art# in!titution! fe%t %o!t in the 'id!t of the crowd of o00o!itioni!t!. 8uring the night3 !evera% thou!and 0eo0%e vi!ited the hou!e. +he new! of the theft of the %etter !0read through the cit#. Foreign @ourna%i!t! were !ending di!0atche!3 and it eca'e Cuite i'0o!!i %e to concea% the %etter an# %onger. In the end3 a 0hoto!tatic co0# of it wa! handed to ,akov!k#. 5h# a %etter written # 7offe to 'e and !ea%ed in an enve%o0e that ore '# na'e !hou%d have een given to ,akov!k#3 and at that in a 0hoto!tatic co0# in!tead of the origina%3 i! !o'ething that I cannot even atte'0t to e/0%ain. 7offe>! %etter ref%ect! hi' to the end3 ut a! he wa! ha%f an hour efore hi! death. 7offe knew '# attitude toward hi'D he wa! ound to 'e # a dee0 'ora% confidence3 and gave 'e the right to de%ete an#thing I thought !u0erf%uou! or un!uita %e for 0u %ication. Fai%ing to concea% the %etter fro' the who%e wor%d3 the c#nica% ene'# tried to e/0%oit for it! own 0ur0o!e! tho!e ver# %ine! not written for the 0u %ic e#e. 7offe tried to 'ake hi! death a !ervice to the !a'e cau!e to which he had dedicated hi! %ife. 5ith the !a'e hand that wa! to 0u%% the trigger again!t hi! own te'0%e ha%f an hour %ater3 he wrote the

%a!t evidence of a witne!! and the %a!t coun!e% of a friend. +hi! i! what he addre!!ed direct%# to 'e in hi! %a!t %etter& 9You and I3 dear =ev 8av#dovich3 are ound to each other # decade! of @oint work3 and3 I 'ake o%d to ho0e3 of 0er!ona% friend!hi0. +hi! give! 'e the right to te%% #ou in 0arting what I think #ou are 'i!taken in. I have never dou ted the rightne!! of the road #ou 0ointed out3 and a! #ou know I have gone with #ou for 'ore than twent# #ear!3 !ince the da#! of P0er'anent revo%ution.> )ut I have a%wa#! e%ieved that #ou %acked =enin>! unbending will3 hi! unwillingness to yield3 hi! readine!! even to re'ain a%one on the 0ath that he thought right in the antici0ation of a future 'a@orit#3 of a future recognition # ever# one of the rightne!! of hi! 0ath. 1olitically, you were always right3 eginning with3 and I to%d #ou re0eated%# that with '# own ear! I had heard =enin ad'it that even in 19253 you, and not he, were right. One doe! not %ie efore hi! death3 and now I re0eat thi! again to #ou ... )ut #ou have often abandoned your rightness for the !ake of an overva%ued agree'ent3 or co'0ro'i!e. +hi! i! a 'i!take. I re0eat& 0o%itica%%# #ou have a%wa#! een right3 and now #ore right than e(er. $o'e da# the 0art# wi%% rea%i-e it3 and hi!tor# wi%% not fai% to accord recognition. +hen don>t %o!e #our courage if !o'e one %eave! #ou now3 or if not a! 'an# co'e to #ou3 and not a! !oon3 a! we a%% wou%d %ike. You are right3 ut the guarantee of the victor# of #our rightne!! %ie! in nothing ut the e/tre'e unwi%%ingne!! to #ie%d3 the !tricte!t !traightforwardne!!3 the a !o%ute re@ection of a%% co'0ro'i!eD in thi! ver# thing %a# the !ecret of =enin>! victorie!. "an# a ti'e I have wanted to te%% #ou thi!3 ut on%# now have I rought '#!e%f to do !o3 a! a %a!t farewe%%.? 7offe>! funera% wa! !et for a working<da#3 at an hour that wou%d 0revent the "o!cow worker! fro' taking 0art in it. )ut in !0ite of thi!3 it attracted no %e!! than ten thou!and 0eo0%e and turned into an i'0o!ing o00o!itioni!t de'on!tration. "eanwhi%e3 $ta%in>! faction wa! 0re0aring for the congre!!3 ha!tening to 0%ace a !0%it efore it a! an acco'0%i!hed fact. +he !o<ca%%ed e%ection! to %oca% conference! which !ent de%egate! to the congre!! were carried out be%ore the officia% o0ening of the !ha' 9di!cu!!ion3? during which grou0! of whi!t%er!3 organi-ed in 'i%itar# fa!hion3 roke u0 'eeting! in the regu%ar Fa!ci!t wa#. It i! difficu%t even to i'agine an#thing 'ore di!gracefu% than the 0re0aration! for the fifteenth congre!!. 6inoviev and hi! grou0 had no difficu%t# in 0erceiving that the congre!! wou%d 0ut the 0o%itica% ca0!heaf on the 0h#!ica% rout that had egun in the !treet! of "o!cow and =eningrad on the tenth anniver!ar# of the Octo er ,evo%ution. +he on%# concern of 6inoviev and hi! friend! wa! to ca0itu%ate whi%e there wa! #et ti'e. +he# cou%d not fai% to under!tand that the $ta%in ureaucrat! !aw their rea% ene'# not in the'3 the o00o!itioni!t! of the !econd draft3 ut in the 'ain grou0 of the o00o!ition3 %inked to 'e. +he# ho0ed to u# forgivene!!3 if not to win favor3 # a de'on!trative reak with 'e at the ti'e of the fifteenth congre!!. +he# did not fore!ee that # a dou %e etra#a% the# wou%d achieve their own 0o%itica% e%i'ination. 1%though the# weakened our grou0 te'0orari%# # !ta ing it in the ack3 the# conde'ned the'!e%ve! to 0o%itica% death. +he fifteenth congre!! re!o%ved to e/0e% the o00o!ition en bloc. +he e/0e%%ed were 0%aced at the di!0o!a% of the 4PH.

'otes

1. $t. Peter! urg3 rena'ed Petrograd during the war3 had een rechri!tened a! =eningrad. B Trans. I. 5ritten efore the recent death of $tre!e'ann. B Trans.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <L000

T3( (<0L(
I wi%% Cuote in fu%% '# wife>! account of the e/i%e to *entra% 1!ia& 97anuar# 1Q3 19IGD 0acking a%% 'orning. I have a te'0eratureD '# head i! going round with fever and weakne!! in the 'id!t of the thing! that have @u!t een rought over fro' the Kre'%in3 and the thing! that are eing 0acked to go with u!. 1 'ed%e# of furniture3 o/e!3 %inen3 ook! and end%e!! vi!itor! B friend! co'ing to !a# good< #. F.1. 4uetier3 our doctor and friend3 wa! naive%# advi!ing u! to 0ut off the de0arture ecau!e of '# co%d. Ae did not rea%i-e what our @ourne# 'eant3 and what it wou%d 'ean to 0o!t0one it now. 5e ho0ed that I wou%d i'0rove 'ore readi%# on the train3 ecau!e at ho'e3 under the condition! of the P%a!t da#!> efore we %eft3 there wa! %itt%e chance of an ear%# recover#. New face! ke0t f%a!hing efore our e#e!3 'an# of who' I wa! !eeing for the fir!t ti'e. E' race!3 hand !haking3 e/0re!!ion! of !#'0ath# and good wi!he!. 9+he chao! i! eing increa!ed # 0eo0%e ringing f%ower!3 ook!3 cand#3 war' c%othing3 etc. +he %a!t da# of u!t%e3 !train3 and e/cite'ent i! nearing it! end. +he thing! have een taken to the !tation. Our friend! have gone there too. 5e are !itting B the entire fa'i%# B in the dining<roo'3 read# to %eave3 waiting for the agent! of the 4PH. 5e watch the ti'eD nine o>c%ock3 ha%f 0a!t ... No one co'e!. +en o>c%ock B the hour of the train>! de0arture. 5hat ha! ha00enedE ,e!cindedE +he te%e0hone ring!. +he 4PH infor'! u! that our de0arture ha! een 0ut off3 for rea!on! not !tated. For how %ongE a!k! =.8. For two da#!3 co'e! the an!wer B #ou wi%% have to %eave the da# after to'orrow. 9Aa%f an hour %ater friend! fro' the !tation ru!hed in B fir!t #oung 0eo0%e3 then ,akov!k# and other!. +here had een a tre'endou! de'on!tration at the !tation. Peo0%e waited3 !houting P=ong %ive +rot!k#.> )ut +rot!k# wa! nowhere to e !een. 5here wa! heE 1round the car re!erved for u!3 there wa! a !tor'# crowd. Young friend! !et u0 a %arge 0ortrait of =.8. on the roof of the car. It wa! greeted with @u i%ant Phurrah!.> +he train !tarted3 fir!t one @erk3 than anotherD it 'oved forward a %itt%e and then !to00ed !udden%#. +he de'on!trant! had run in front of the engineD the# c%ung to the car! and !to00ed the train3 de'anding +rot!k#. 1 ru'or had run through the crowd

that the 4PH agent! had conducted =.8. !ecret%# into the car and were 0reventing hi' fro' !howing hi'!e%f to tho!e who had co'e to !ee hi' off. +he e/cite'ent at the !tation wa! inde!cri a %e. +here were c%a!he! with the 0o%ice and the agent! of the 4PH3 with ca!ua%tie! on oth !ide!. 1rre!t! were 'ade. +he train wa! detained for a out an hour and a ha%f. $o'e ti'e %ater our aggage ca'e ack fro' the !tation. For a %ong ti'e after ward3 friend! ke0t te%e0honing to find out if we were at ho'e and to te%% u! what had ha00ened at the !tation. It wa! %ong after 'idnight when we went to ed. 91fter the worrie! of the %a!t few da#!3 we !%e0t unti% e%even the ne/t da#. +here were no te%e0hone ca%%!. Ever#thing wa! Cuiet. +he wife of our o%der o# went to her work3 B there were !ti%% two da#! ahead of u!. )ut we had hard%# fini!hed reakfa!t when the e%% rangD it wa! )#e%o orodov>! wifeD ne/t ca'e 7offe>! wife. 1nother ring B and the who%e a0art'ent fi%%ed with agent! of the 4PH in civi%ian c%othe! and unifor'!. 1n order wa! handed to =.8. dec%aring hi' under arre!t for i''ediate conve#ance under e!cort to 1%'a<1ta. 1nd the two da#! of which the 4PH had !0oken the da# eforeE 1nother dece0tion B a ru!e to avoid a new de'on!tration at the !end<off. +he te%e0hone rang continua%%#3 ut an agent !tood e!ide it and good<hu'ored%# 0revented u! fro' an!wering. It wa! on%# # chance that we 'anaged to %et )#e%o orodov know that our hou!e had een occu0ied and that we were eing carried awa# # force. =ater on3 we were infor'ed that the b0o%itica% direction> of the !end<off had een )ukharin>!. +hi! wa! Cuite in the !0irit of the $ta%in 'achination!. 9+he agent! were noticea %# e/cited. =.8. refu!ed to %eave of hi! own accord. Ae took advantage of the occa!ion to 'ake the !ituation 0erfect%#. c%ear. +he Po%it ureau wa! tr#ing to 'ake hi! e/i%e3 a! we%% a! that of at %ea!t the 'o!t 0ro'inent o00o!itioni!t!3 !ee' %ike a vo%untar# affair. It wa! in thi! %ight that the e/i%e wa! eing re0re!ented to the worker!. Now it wa! nece!!ar# to e/0%ode thi! %egend3 and to !how the rea%it# in !uch a wa# that the fact! cou%d e neither !u00re!!ed nor di!torted. 9Aence =.8.>! deci!ion to co'0e% hi! o00onent! to an o0en u!e of force. 5e %ocked our!e%ve! in one of the roo'! with our two gue!t!. Par%e#! with the agent! of the 4PH were carried on through %ocked door!. +he agent! did not know what to doD the# he!itated3 con!u%ted with their chief! # te%e0hone3 and when the# had received in!truction!3 announced that the# were going to force the door3 !ince the# 'u!t carr# out their order!. "eanti'e3 =.8. wa! dictating in!truction! for the future conduct of the o00o!ition. +he door re'ained %ocked. 5e heard a ha''er< %ow3 the g%a!! cra!hed3 and a unifor'ed ar' wa! thru!t in!ide. P$hoot 'e3 *o'rade +rot!k#3 !hoot 'e3> Ki!hkin3 a for'er officer who had often acco'0anied =.8. on hi! tri0! to the front3 ke0t !a#ing e/cited%#. P8on>t ta%k non!en!e3 Ki!hkin3> =.8. re0%ied ca%'%#. PNo one i! going to !hoot #ou. 4o ahead with #our @o .> +he agent! o0ened the door and entered the roo' confu!ed and agitated. $eeing = 8. in hi! !%i00er!3 the# found hi! !hoe! and 0ut the' on hi'. +hen the# found hi! fur coat and ca0 and 0ut the' on hi'. =.8. refu!ed to go. +he# %ifted hi' in their ar'! and !tarted awa#. 5e hurried after. I !%i00ed on '# !now< oot! and '# fur coat ... +he door !%a''ed e hind 'e. On the other !ide of it3 I heard a co''otion. I !houted to the 'en who were carr#ing =.8. down the !tair! and de'anded that the# %et out '# !on!3 the e%der of who' wa! to acco'0an# u! into e/i%e. +he door wa! f%ung o0en3 and '# !on! ur!t out3 fo%%owed # our wo'en gue!t!3 )#e%o orodova and 7offe. +he# a%% forced their wa# through with the aid of ath%etic 'ea!ure! on $er#o-ha>! 0art. On the wa# down the !tair!3 =#ova rang a%% the door< e%%!3

!houting& P+he#>re carr#ing *o'rade +rot!k# awa#> Frightened face! f%a!hed # u! at the door! and on the !tairca!eD in thi! hou!e3 on%# 0ro'inent $oviet worker! were %iving. 5e were a%% cra''ed into one auto'o i%eD $er#o-ha cou%d hard%# get hi! %eg! in. )#e%o orodova wa! a%!o with u!. 95e drove a%ong the !treet! of "o!cow. It wa! free-ing co%d. $er#o-ha had no ca0D he had not had ti'e to take itD ever# od# wa! without ga%o!he! and g%ove!D there wa! not a trave%%ing< ag a'ong u!3 not even a hand< ag3 and we were a%% e'0t#<handed. 5e were not eing taken to the Ka-an !tation3 ut in another direction B a! it deve%o0ed3 to the Yaro!%av !tation. $er#o-ha 'ade an atte'0t to @u'0 out of the auto'o i%e3 intending to run into the 0%ace where hi! rother>! wife wa! working and te%% her that we were eing taken awa#. +he agent! !ei-ed hi! ar'! and a00ea%ed to =.8. to 0er!uade hi' not to @u'0 out of the auto'o i%e. 5e arrived at the e'0t# !tation. +he agent! ore =.8. in their ar'!3 a! the# had fro' the hou!e. =#ova !houted to variou! rai%wa#<worker!& >*o'rade!3 !ee how the# are carr#ing *o'rade +rot!k# awa#J> 1n agent of the 4PH who had at one ti'e acco'0anied =. 8. on hunting tri0! caught hi' # the co%%ar. PYou wrigg%erJ> he e/c%ai'ed in!o%ent%#. $er#o-ha an!wered hi' with a trained ath%ete>! %ow in the face. 5e were in the car. +he 'en of the e!cort were at the window! and door! of our co'0art'ent. +he other co'0art'ent! were occu0ied # the agent! of the 4PH. 5here were we goingE 5e didn>t know. Our aggage had not een rought in when the %oco'otive !tarted off with our !o%itar# car. It wa! two o>c%ock in the afternoon. 5e found that we were going # a circuitou! route to a !'a%% !tation where our car wa! to e attached to the 'ai%<train that had %eft "o!cow fro' the Ka-an !tation for +a!hkent. 1t five o>c%ock3 we !aid good< # to $er#o-ha and )#e%o orodova3 who had to return to "o!cow. 95e continued on our wa#. I had a fever. =.8. wa! ri!k and a%'o!t ga#. +he !ituation had taken definite !ha0eD the genera% at'o!0here had c%eared. +he e!cort wa! con!iderate and civi%. 5e were to%d that our aggage wa! co'ing # the ne/t train3 and that it wou%d overtake u! at Frun-e (the end of our @ourne# # rai%) B that i!3 on the ninth da#. 5e had no change of %inen3 and no ook!. 1nd with what %ove and care $#er'uk! and Po-nan!k# had 0acked tho!e ook!3 !orting the' !o care fu%%# B the!e for the @ourne#3 and tho!e for ear%# !tudie!J 1nd with what !o%icitude $#er'uk!3 who knew =.8.>! ta!te! and ha it! !o we%%3 had 0acked hi! writing 'ateria%!. Ae had 'ade !o 'an# tri0! with =.8. during the revo%ution in the ca0acit# of !tenogra0her and !ecretar#. =.8. a%wa#! worked with tri0%e energ# whi%e he wa! trave%%ing3 taking advantage of the a !ence of te%e0hone and vi!itor!3 and the chief urden of thi! work fe%% fir!t on 4%a-'an and %ater on $#er'uk!. 1nd now we found our!e%ve! %aunched on a %ong @ourne# without a !ing%e ook3 0enci%3 or !heet of 0a0er. )efore we %eft "o!cow3 $er#o-ha had got u! $e'#onov<+#an!han!k#>! ook on +urke!tan3 a !cientific work3 and we were 0%anning to acCuaint our!e%ve! whi%e on the train with our future 0%ace of re!idence3 of which we had ut a vague conce0tion. )ut $e'#onov< +#an!han!k# re'ained in the trave%%ing< ag a%ong with the re!t of the %uggage in "o!cow. 5e !at in the car e'0t#<handed3 a! if we were driving fro' one 0art of the cit# to another. In the evening3 we !tretched out on the enche! and %eaned our head! again!t the e% ow re!t!. 1 !entr# !tood on dut# at the ha%f<o0ened door of the co'0art'ent. 95hat wa! in !tore for u!E 5hat wou%d our @ourne# e %ikeE 1nd the e/i%eE 5hat wou%d our condition e thereE +he !tart had not een ver# 0ro'i!ing. Neverthe%e!! we were ca%'. +he car ro%%ed a%ong !'oothi#. 5e %a# !tretched on the enche!. +he ha%f<o0ened door re'inded u! that

we were 0ri!oner!. 5e were tired out # the !ur0ri!e!3 uncertaintie! and the ten!ion of tho!e %a!t da#!3 and now we were re!ting. Ever#thing wa! CuietD the guard wa! !i%ent. I wa! a %itt%e indi!0o!ed. =.8. tried ever# thing he cou%d think of to 'ake thing! ea!ier for 'e3 ut he had nothing ut hi! ga# and tender 'ood to tran!'it to 'e. 5e had !to00ed eing aware of our !urrounding! and were en@o#ing the re!t. =#ova wa! in the ad@oining co'0art'ent. In "o!cow3 he had een co'0%ete%# a !or ed in the work of the o00o!itionD now he wa! acco'0an#ing u! into e/i%e to %ighten our %ot B he had not even had ti'e to !a# good< # to hi! wife. Fro' that 'o'ent3 he eca'e our on%# 'ean! of contact with the out!ide wor%d. It wa! a%'o!t dark in the carD the candie! were urning di'%# over the door. 5e were 'oving !teadi%# ea!tward. 9+he farther we %eft "o!cow ehind3 the 'ore con!iderate the e!cort eca'e. 1t $a'ara the# ought u! a change of under wear3 !oa03 tooth<0owder3 ru!he!3 etc. Our 'ea%! and the e!cort>! ca'0 fro' the !tation<re!taurant!. =.8.3 who wa! a%wa#! o %iged to fo%%ow a !trict diet3 now gai%# ate ever#thing that wa! !erved and ke0t cheering =#ova and 'e. I watched hi' with a!toni!h'ent and a00rehen!ion. +he thing! the# ought for u! in $a'ara were given !0ecia% na'e! B the towe% wa! na'ed >"en-hin!k# L1M the !ock!3 >Yagoda> ("en-hin!k#>! de0ut#) and !o forth. 1rtic%e! # !uch na'e! were 'uch ga#er. +he 0rogre!! of the train wa! con!idera %# de%a#ed # !nowdrift!. )ut ever# da# we went dee0er into 1!ia. 9)efore he %eft "o!cow3 =.8. had a!ked for hi! two o%d a!!i!tant!3 ut hi! reCue!t wa! refu!ed. 1nd !o $#er'uk! and Po-nan!k# decided to 'ake the tri0 inde0endent%#3 trave%%ing in the !a'e train with u!. 1t the fa%!e !tart3 the# took !eat! in an other car3 !aw the de'on!tration3 ut did not %eave their !eat!3 thinking that we were on the !a'e train. 1 %itt%e %ater the# di!covered our a !ence3 %eft the train at 1r#!3 and waited for u! to co'e on the ne/t train. It wa! there we found the'. =#ova3 who wa! a%%owed a certain freedo'3 wa! the on%# one who !aw the'3 ut it 'ade u! a%% ver# ha00#. Aere i! '# !on>! account3 written at the ti'e& 9>In the 'orning I !et out for the !tation on the chance that I 'ight find the co'rade! who!e fate we had con!tant%# een ta%king and worr#ing a out. 1nd I didD there the two of the' were3 !itting at a ta %e in the uffet and 0%a#ing che!!. It wou%d e hard to de!cri e '# @o#. I 'ade !ign! to the' not to co'e near 'eD '# a00earance in the uffet3 a! u!ua%3 had increa!ed the activit# of the agent!. I ha!tened to the car to te%% of '# di!cover#. +here wa! genera% re@oicing. Even =.8. found it hard to e cro!! with the'3 a%though the# had di!o e#ed in!truction!3 and in!tead of continuing their @ourne# were waiting there in the face of ever#one B an unnece!!ar# ri!k. 1fter ta%king the 'atter over with =.8.3 I wrote a note which I intended to hand to the' after dark. +he in!truction! were a! fo%%ow!& Po-nan!k# wa! to !e0arate fro' u! and 0roceed i''ediate%# to +a!hkent3 and wait there for a !u''on!. $#er'uk! wa! to go to 1%'a<1ta without 'eeting u!. I 'anaged in 0a!!ing to te%% $#er'uk! to 'eet 'e ehind the !tation in an incon!0icuou! corner where there were no %a'0!. Po-nan!k# ca'e thereD at fir!t we cou%dn>t find each other3 and egan to get di!tur edD when we did 'eet we ta%ked ra0id%#3 continua%%# interru0ting each other. I !aid to hi'& 9$'a!hed the door!3 carried out in ar'! I? Ae did not under!tand who did the !'a!hing or the rea!on for the carr#ing. +here wa! no ti'e to e/0%ainD we were fearfu% of di!cover#. +he 'eeting #ie%ded no re!u%t!.> 91fter '# !on>! di!cover# at 1r#!3 we went on our wa# fee%ing that we had a tru!ted friend on the train with u!. It 'ade u! ver# ha00#. On the tenth da# we received our aggage3 and ru!hed

to get at $e'#onov<+#an!han!k#. 5e read a out the natura% feature!3 the 0o0u%ation3 the a00%e orchard!D e!t of a%%3 we found that the hunting wa! good. =.8. o0ened with de%ight the writing 'ateria%! that $#er'uk! had 0acked. 5e arrived at Frun-e (Pi!h0ek) ear%# in the 'orning. It wa! the %a!t rai%wa# !tation. +here wa! a iting fro!t. +he !un>! ra#! 0ouring on the c%ean white !now %inded u!. 5e were given fe%t oot! and !hee0!kin!. I cou%d hard%# reathe for the weight of '# c%othe!3 and #et it wa! co%d on the road. +he auto u! 'oved !%ow%# over the creaking !now 0acked down # vehic%e!D the wind %a!hed our face!. 1fter 'aking thirt# ki%o'etre!3 we !to00ed. It wa! darkD we !ee'ed to e in the 'id!t of a !now<covered de!ert. +wo of the guard! (the e!cort co'0ri!ed fro' twe%ve to fifteen 'en) ca'e u0 and to%d u! with !o'e e' arra!!'ent that the !%ee0ing Cuarter! were not ver# good. 5e got out of the u! with a %itt%e difficu%t#3 and after gro0ing a out in the dark for the door!te0 and the %ow door of the 'ai%<!tation3 wa%ked in!ide and !hed our !hee0!kin! with re%ief. )ut the hut wa! co%d3 not having een heated. +he tin# window! were fro!ted right through. In the corner there wa! a huge ,u!!ian !tove3 ut a%a!J a! co%d a! ice. 5e war'ed our!e%ve! with tea and ate !o'ething. 5e got into conver!ation with the ho!te!! at the 0o!t3 a *o!!ack wo'an. =.8. a!ked her 'an# Cue!tion! a out her %ife and a%!o a out the hunting. Ever#thing !tirred our curio!it#D the out!tanding thing wa! that we didn>t know how it a%% wou%d end. 5e egan to get read# for the night. +he guard! had found !he%ter in the neigh orhood. =#ova %a# on a ench3 =.8. and I on a ig ta %e on to0 of the !hee0!kin!. 5hen fina%%# we a%% were %#ing Cuiet%# in a co%d roo' with a %ow cei%ing3 I ur!t out %aughing. >Suite un%ike the a0art'ent in the Kre'%in %> I !aid. =.8. and =#ova %aughed with 'e. 91t dawn3 we !et off again. )efore u! %a# the 'o!t difficu%t 0art of the @ourne#. 5e cro!!ed the Kurda# 'ountain range. )itter co%d. +he weight of the c%othe! wa! un eara %e B it wa! a! if a wa%% had fa%%en down on one. 1t the ne/t !to03 for tea3 we ta%ked with the chauffeur and with the agent of the 4PH who had co'e fro' 1%'a<1ta to 'eet u!. 4radua%%# the !trange3 unknown %ife ahead wa! eing di!c%o!ed to u!. +he road wa! difficu%t for the auto'o i%eD !now had drifted over the g%a!!# !urface. +he chauffeur hand%ed the 'achine e/0ert%#D he knew the 0ecu%iaritie! of the road we%%3 and ke0t hi'!e%f war' with vodka. +oward night the fro!t grew !har0er and !har0er. 5e%% aware that in thi! de!ert of !now ever#thing de0ended on hi'3 the chauffeur re%ieved hi! fee%ing! # a 'o!t uncere'oniou! critici!' of the authoritie! and their genera% 'ethod!. +he 1%'a<1ta re0re!entative3 who wa! !itting e!ide hi'3 !0oke to hi' a00ea!ing%# B an#thing to get ho'e !afe%#J In the third hour after 'idnight3 the car !to00ed in utter darkne!!. 5e had arrived. )ut whereE 5e %earned that it wa! 4ogo% $treet3 in front of the otel )7hetysa B a ho!te%r# unCue!tiona %# dating fro' 4ogo%>! ti'e. 5e were given two %itt%e roo'!. +he ad@oining roo'! were taken # the e!cort and the %oca% agent! of the 4PH =#ova checked u0 on our aggage B two ca!e! of underwear and ook! were 'i!!ing3 %o!t !o'ewhere in the !now. 1%a!J we were again without $e'#onov<+#an!han!k#3 gone were =. .>! 'a0! and ook! a out *hina and IndiaD gone were the writing 'ateria%!. Fifteen 0air! of e#e! B and #et the# fai%ed to %ook after the %uggage 0ro0er%#J 9In the 'orning3 =#ova went out to reconnoitre. Ae eca'e acCuainted with the town3 fir!t of a%% with the 0o!t<and<te%egra0h office3 which wa! to e the centre of our %ife. Ae found a che'i!t>! !ho03 too3 and !earched tire%e!!%# for a%% the needed artic%e! B 0en!3 0enci%!3 read3 utter3 and cand%e! ... For the fir!t few da#!3 =.8. and I never %eft our roo'. =ater on we egan to go out for !hort wa%k! in the evening. 1%% our connection! with the out!ide wor%d were though our !on.

98inner wa! rought in fro' an eating<0%ace near #. =#ova wa! u!# a%% da# %ong. 5e waited i'0atient%# for hi'. Ae rought u! 0a0er! and variou! it! of infor'ation a out the 0eo0%e and the %ife of the town. 5e were an/iou! to know if $#er'uk! had reached 1%'a<1ta. $udden%#3 on the 'orning of our fourth da# there3 we heard the fa'i%iar voice in the corridor. Aow dear it wa! to u!J 5e %i!tened ten!e%# fro' ehind the door to $#er'uk!> word! and foot!te0!. Ai! co'ing o0ened new 0ro!0ect! efore u!. $#er'uk! wa! given a roo' @u!t o00o!ite our!. I !te00ed out into the corridorD he owed to 'e fro' a di!tance. 5e !ti%% cou%d not ri!k entering into conver!ation with hi'3 ut we re@oiced !i%ent%# in hi! nearne!!. +he ne/t da#3 we !tea%thi%# %et hi' into our roo'3 to%d hi' ha!ti%# what had ha00ened3 and 0%anned for our @oint future. )ut that future 0roved to e ver# rief. +hat ver# night3 at ten o>c%ock3 ca'e the fini!h. +he hote% wa! Cuiet. =.8. and I were !itting in our roo'3 with the door ha%f o0en on the co%d corridor ecau!e the iron !tove 'ade the roo' un eara %# hot. =#ova wa! in hi! roo'. 5e heard the !oft3 cautiou! 0adding of fe%t oot! in the ha%%3 and %i!tened intent%#. (=#ova3 a! we %earned %ater3 wa! a%!o %i!teningD he had gue!!ed what wa! ha00ening.) +he# have co'e3 f%a!hed through our 'ind!. 5e cou%d hear !o'e one enter $#er'uk!> roo' without knocking3 and !a#3 9Aurr# u03 nowJ? and then $#er'uk!> re0%#& 9"a# I at %ea!t 0ut the fe%t oot! onE? B evident%# he wa! in hi! !%i00er!. 1gain the !oft3 a%'o!t noi!e%e!! !te0! and then dee0 !i%ence. =ater the door'an ca'e and %ocked $#er'uk!> roo'. 5e never !aw hi' again. Ae wa! ke0t on !tarvation ration! for a few week! in the a!e'ent of the 4PH in 1%'a<1ta together with the cri'ina%!3 and then wa! !ent to "o!cow with a dai%# a%%owance of I5 ko0eck!3 which wa! not even enough to u# read. Po-nan!k#3 a! we %earned %ater3 wa! arre!ted at the !a'e ti'e in +a!hkent and taken to "o!cow. 1 out three 'onth! %ater3 we got new! fro' the' fro' their 0%ace! of e/i%e. )# !o'e ha00# chance3 when the# were eing taken to the Ea!t3 the# were 0ut in the !a'e rai%wa# carriage in !eat! facing each other. $e0arated for a ti'e3 the# 'et thu! on%# to e !e0arated againD the# were e/i%ed to different 0%ace!. 91nd !o =.8. found hi'!e%f without hi! a!!i!tant!. Ai! o00onent! revenged the'!e%ve! on the' for their faithfu% !ervice with =.8. to the revo%ution. +he gent%e3 'ode!t 4%a-'an had een driven to !uicide a! ear%# a! 19IT. $#er'uk! and Po-nan!k# were !ent into e/i%e. )utov3 the Cuiet indu!triou! )utov3 wa! arre!ted3 0re!!ed for fa%!e evidence3 and driven to a hunger<!trike that ended in hi! death in the 0ri!on ho!0ita%. +hu! wa! the >!ecretariat> which =.8. >! ene'ie! regarded with '#!tic hatred a! the !ource of a%% evi% fina%%# wi0ed out. +he ene'ie! now con!idered =.8. co'0%ete%# di!ar'ed in the far<awa# 1%'a<1ta. (oro!hi%ov o0en%# g%oated& >Even if he die! there3 we won>t hear of it !oon.> )ut =.8. wa! not di!ar'ed. 5e for'ed a co< o0erative of three. +he work of e!ta %i!hing contact with the out!ide wor%d fe%% on our !on>! !hou%der!. Ae wa! in charge of the corre!0ondence. =.8. !o'eti'e! ca%%ed hi' 'ini!ter of foreign affair!3 and !o'eti'e! 'ini!ter of 0o!t! and te%egra0h. Our corre!0ondence !oon grew to a huge vo%u'e3 and the urden of it wa! =#ova>!. Ae wa! od#guard a! we%%. Ae a%!o found for =.8. the 'ateria% for hi! %iterar# work3 !earched the ook!he%ve! of the %i rar#3 !ecured ack nu' er! of new!0a0er!3 and co0ied e/cer0t!. Ae conducted a%% negotiation! with the %oca% authoritie!3 organi-ed the hunting tri0!3 took care of the dog and the gun!. 91nd on to0 of a%% that3 he !tudied econo'ic geogra0h# and %anguage! a!!iduou!%#.

91 few week! after our arriva%3 =.8.>! !cientific and 0o%itica% work wa! a%read# in fu%% !wing. =ater on3 =#ova found a gir% t#0i!t. +he 4PH did not 'o%e!t her3 ut the# evident%# co'0e%%ed her to re0ort ever#thing that !he t#0ed for u!. It wou%d have een a'u!ing to hear the re0ort of thi! #oung gir%3 !o %itt%e e/0erienced in the !trugg%e again!t +rot!k#i!'. 91 fine thing in 1%'a<1ta wa! the !now3 white3 c%ean3 and dr#. 1! there wa! ver# %itt%e wa%king or driving3 it ke0t it! fre!hne!! a%% winter %ong. In the !0ring3 it #ie%ded to red 0o00ie!. $uch a %ot of the' B %ike gigantic car0et!J +he !te00e! g%owed red for 'i%e! around. In the !u''er there were a00%e! B the fa'ou! 1%'a<1ta variet#3 huge and a%!o red. +he town had no centra% waterwork!3 no %ight!3 and no 0aved road!. In the a-aar in the centre of the town3 the Kirghi-e! !at in the 'ud at the door!te0! of their !ho0!3 war'ing the'!e%ve! in the !un and !earching their odie! for ver'in. "a%aria wa! ra'0ant. +here wa! a%!o 0e!ti%ence3 and during the !u''er 'onth! an e/traordinar# nu' er of 'ad dog!. +he new!0a0er! re0orted 'an# ca!e! of %e0ro!# in thi! region. 9In !0ite of a%% thi!3 we !0ent a good !u''er. 5e rented a 0ea!ant hou!e fro' a fruit<grower u0 on the hi%%! with an o0en view of the !now<ca00ed 'ountain!3 a !0ur of the +#an<$han range. 5ith the owner and hi! fa'i%#3 we watched the fruit ri0en and took an active 0art in gathering it. +he orchard wa! a 0ic ture of change. Fir!t the white %oo'D then the tree! grew heav#3 with ending ranche! he%d u0 # 0ro0!. +hen the fruit %a# in a 'ot%e# car0et under the tree! on !traw 'at!3 and the tree!3 rid of their urden3 !traightened their ranche! again. +he orchard wa! fragrant with the ri0e a00%e! and 0ear!D ee! and wa!0! were u--ing. 5e were 'aking 0re!erve!. 9In 7une and 7u%#3 work wa! in fu%% !wing in the %itt%e reed<thatched hou!e in the a00%e orchard3 with a t#0ewriter c%icking ince!!ant%#3 a thing unknown in tho!e 0art!. =.8. wa! dictating a critici!' of the 0rogra''e of the *o''uni!t Internationa%3 'aking correction! and handing it ack for ret#0ing. +he 'ai% wa! %arge B fro' ten to fifteen %etter! ever# da#3 with a%% !ort! of the!e!3 critici!'!3 interna% 0o%e'ic!3 new! fro' "o!cow3 a! we%% a! 'an# te%egra'! a out 0o%itica% 'atter! and inCuirie! a out =.8.>! hea%th. 4reat wor%d 0ro %e'! were 'ing%ed with 'inor %oca% 'atter! that here !ee'ed a%!o i'0ortant. $o!nov!k#>! %etter! were a%wa#! to0ica%3 with hi! u!ua% enthu!ia!' and 0ungenc#. ,akov!k#>! re'arka %e %etter! we co0ied and !ent out to other!. +he %itt%e %ow<cei%inged roo' wa! cra''ed with ta %e! !0read with 'anu!cri0t!3 fi%e!3 new!0a0er!3 ook!3 co0ied e/cer0t!3 and c%i00ing!. =#ova !ta#ed in hi! %itt%e roo' ne/t to the !ta %e! for who%e da#!3 t#0ing3 correcting the t#0i!t>! co0#3 !ea%ing 0ackage!3 !ending and receiving the 'ai%3 and !earching for the nece!!ar# Cuotation!. +he 'ai% wa! rought to u! fro' the town # an inva%id who ca'e # hor!e. +oward evening3 with a dog and a gun3 =.8. wou%d often go u0 into the 'ountain!3 !o'eti'e! with 'e3 !o'eti'e! with =#ova. 5e wou%d co'e ack with Cuai%!3 0igeon!3 'ountain<fow%3 or 0hea!ant!. Ever#thing went we%% unti% the regu%ar%# recurring attack! of 'a%aria. 9+hu! we !0ent a #ear in 1%'a<1ta3 a town of earthCuake! and f%ood!3 at the foot of the +#an< $han range on the order! of *hina3 I52 ki%o'etre! fro' the rai%wa# and T3222 fro' "o!cow3 a #ear !0ent with %etter!3 ook!3 and nature. 1%though we ca'e acro!! !ecret friend! at ever# !te0 (it i! !ti%% too ear%# to !a# 'ore of thi!)3 we were outward%# co'0%ete%# i!o%ated fro' the

!urrounding 0o0u%ation3 for ever# one who tried to get in touch with u! wa! 0uni!hed3 !o'eti'e! ver# !evere%#.? +o '# wife>! account I wi%% add a few e/cer0t! fro' the corre!0ondence of that 0eriod. On Fe ruar# IG3 !oon after our arriva%3 I wrote to a few e/i%ed friend!& 9In view of the forthco'ing tran!fer of the Ka-ak!tan govern'ent to thi! 0%ace3 a%% the hou!e! here are on the regi!ter. On%# a! a re!u%t of the te%egra'! that I !ent the 'o!t e/a%ted 0er!onage! in "o!cow were we at %a!t given a hou!e3 after a three week!> !ta# in the hote%. 5e had to u# !o'e furniture3 re!tore the ruined !tove3 and in genera% ui%d u0 a ho'e B though not on the !tate<0%anning !#!te'. +hi! work fe%% to Nata%i#a Ivanovna and to =#ova. +he ho'e< ui%ding i! not co'0%eted to thi! da#3 for the !tove wi%% not get hot ... 9I give 'uch ti'e to the !tud# of 1!ia3 it! geogra0h#3 econo'ic!3 hi!tor#3 and !o forth. I 'i!! foreign 0a0er! terri %#. I have a%read# written to the nece!!ar# 0%ace!3 a!king to have0a0er! !ent 'e3 even if the# are not recent. "ai% reache! here with difficu%t#3 and i! often %o!t. 9+he ro%e of the co''uni!t 0art# of India i! difficu%t to under !tand. +he new!0a0er! have 0rinted re0ort! of the activitie! in variou! 0rovince! of Pworker! and 0ea!ant!> 0artie!.> +he ver# na'e arou!e! a @u!t a%ar'. +he Kuo'intang3 too3 wa! at one ti'e dec%ared to e a worker! and 0ea!ant!> 0art#. 5i%% not thi! 0rove to e a re0etition of the 0a!tE 9+he 1ng%o<1'erican antagoni!' ha! at %a!t co'e !eriou!%# to the !urface. Now3 even $ta%in and )ukharin !ee' to e eginning to under!tand what the trou %e i!. Our new!0a0er!3 however3 !i'0%if# the Cue!tion when the# re0re!ent the !ituation a! if the 1ng%o<1'erican antagoni!'3 which i! growing in inten!it#3 wou%d %ead direct%# to war. One cannot dou t that there wi%% e !evera% turning<0oint! in thi! 0roce!!. For war wou%d e too dangerou! a thing for oth !ide!. +he# wi%% !ti%% 'ake 'ore than one effort to achieve agree'ent and 0eace. )ut3 taken in genera%3 the 0roce!! i! deve%o0ing # giant !tride! toward a %ood# fina%e. 9On the wa# here3 I read for the fir!t ti'e "ar/>! 0a'0h%et3 3err Vo#t. +o refute !o'e do-en !%ander! # Kar% (ogt3 "ar/ wrote a two<hundred<0age ook3 in !'a%% t#0e3 'ar!ha%%ing docu 'ent! and the evidence of witne!!e! and ana%#-ing direct and circu'!tantia% evidence ... If we had egun to refute the $ta%in !%ander! on the !a'e !ca%e3 we !hou%d 0ro a %# have to 0u %i!h an enc#c%o0edia of a thou!and vo%u'e!.? In 10ri% I !hared with the 9initiated? '# @o#! and !orrow! in the u!ine!! of hunting& 9"# !on and I 'ade a tri0 to the river I%i with the intention of 'aking the fu%%e!t 0o!!i %e u!e of the !0ring !ea!on. +hi! ti'e we took with u! tent!3 !kin!3 fur coat!3 etc.3 !o that we !hou%dn>t have to !%ee0 in the native P#urta!.> )ut !now fe%% again3 and the weather turned itter co%d. +ho!e were tr#ing da#!. 1t night the te'0erature dro00ed to fourteen degree! a ove -ero. Neverthe%e!! for nine da#! we didn>t go in!ide a hou!e. +hank! to our war' underwear and 0%ent# of war' c%othe!3 we !carce%# !uffered fro' the co%d. )ut our oot! fro-e at night3 and we had to thaw the' out over the fire to get the' on our feet. +he fir!t few da#! we hunted in the !wa'03 and

after that on the o0en %ake. I had a !'a%% tent !et u0 on a %itt%e hi%% where I !0ent fro' twe%ve to fourteen hour! a da# ... )ut =#ova !tood right in the reed! under the tree!. 9)ut ecau!e of the ad weather and the irregu%ar f%ight! of the ga'e3 the tri0 a! a hunt wa! not a !ucce!!. 5e rought ack on%# !o'e fort# duck! and a race of gee!e. )ut it gave 'e an i''en!e a'ount of 0%ea!ure3 e!0ecia%%# thi! te'0orar# %a0!e into ar ari!'3 thi! !%ee0ing in the o0en air3 eating 'utton cooked in a 0ai% under the !k#3 not wa!hing or undre!!ing and con!eCuent%# not dre!!ing3 fa%%ing fro' hor!e ack into the river (the on%# ti'e that I had to undre!!3 under the hot ra#! of the noon !un)3 !0ending a%'o!t a%% da# and night on a !'a%% %og< 0erch in the 'id!t of the water and reed! B !uch e/0erience! do not often co'e one>! wa#. I returned ho'e without even the !ugge!tion of a co%d. )ut after I got ho'e I caught one on the !econd da# and wa! %aid %ow for a week. 9Foreign 0a0er! have now egun to reach u! fro' "o!cow and 1!trakhan3 through ,akov!k#. +oda# I received a %etter fro' hi'. Ae i! 0re0aring a work on $aint $i'oni!' for the "ar/< Enge%! in!titute. )e!ide! thi!3 he i! working on hi! 'e'oir!. 1n# one who know! an#thing a out ,akov!k#>! %ife can ea!i%# i'agine what a tre'endou! intere!t hi! 'e'oir! wi%% have.? On "a# IT3 I wrote to Pr#eo ra-hen!k#3 who wa! a%read# vaci%%ating in hi! view!& 91fter receiving #our the!e!3 I did not write a word a out the' to an# one. 8a# efore #e!terda# I received the fo%%owing te%egra' fro' Ka%0a!hovo& P1 !o%ute%# re@ect Pr#eo ra-hen!k#>! 0ro0o!a%! and e!ti'ate. ,e0%# i''ediate%#. $'i%ga3 1%!k#3 N#echa#ev.> Ye!terda# I received a te%egra' fro' H!t Ku%o'& P*on!ider Pr#eo ra-hen!k#>! 0ro0o!a%! wrong. )#e%o orodov3 (a%#entinov.> Fro' ,akov!k#3 I received a %etter #e!terda# in which he doe! not 0rai!e #ou3 and e/0re!!e! hi! attitude to $ta%in>! P%eft 0o%ic#> in an Eng%i!h for'u%a3 P5ait and !ee.> Ye!terda# I received a%!o a %etter fro' )#e%o orodov and (a%#entinov. +he# are 'uch di!tur ed # !o'e e0i!t%e fro' ,adek to "o!cow which e/0re!!e! a !our 'ood. +he# are raving. If their ver!ion of ,adek>! %etter i! right3 I a' co'0%ete%# at one with the'. =enienc# toward i'0re!!iona %e! i! not to e reco''ended. 9$ince '# return fro' the hunting tri0 B that i!3 !ince the %a!t of "arch B I have not %eft the hou!eD I have !i'0%# een !itting over a ook or working with '# 0en fro' a out !even or eight o>c%ock in the 'orning unti% ten at night. I a' going to have a reak of a few da#!D there eing no hunting now3 Nata%i#a Ivanovna3 $er#o-ha B he i! here now B and I wi%% go on a fi!hing tri0 to the river I%i. You wi%% receive an account of thi! in due ti'e. 9Aave #ou een a %e to under!tand what ha00ened in the French e%ection!E I have not. +he Pra da did not even give the figure! of the tota% nu' er of e%ected candidate! a! co'0ared with tho!e at the %a!t e%ection3 !o that one cannot te%% whether the ratio of co''uni!t! ha! changed. )ut I intend to inve!tigate thi! through foreign 0a0er!3 and I wi%% write then.? On "a# IQ3 I wrote to "ikhai% Okud-hava3 one of the o%de!t of the 4eorgian )o%!hevik!&

9In !o far a! $ta%in>! new 0o%ic# !et! ai'! for it!e%f3 it undou ted%# re0re!ent! an atte'0t to a00roach our 0oint of view. In 0o%itic!3 however3 it i! not 'ere%# what3 ut how and who that decide!. +he 0rinci0a% att%e! to decide the fate of the revo%ution are !ti%% ahead. 95e a%wa#! con!idered3 and 'ore than once !tated3 that the 0rogre!! of the 0o%itica% ack<!%iding on the 0art of the ru%ing faction !hou%d not e re0re!ented a! an a !o%ute%# un roken fa%%ing curve. 1fter a%%3 ack<!%iding take! 0%ace not in e'0t# !0ace ut in a c%a!! !ociet#3 a'id dee03 inner friction!. +he chief 'a!! of the 0art# i! far fro' eing a !o%id ho'ogeneou! %ockD to an overwhe%'ing degree it re0re!ent! !i'0%# 0o%itica% raw 'ateria%. It i! inevita %# !u @ect to 0roce!!e! of differentiation B under 0re!!ure of c%a!! i'0act!3 oth fro' the right and %eft. +he !ignificant event! during the %a!t 0eriod of 0art# affair!3 of which #ou and I are earing the con!eCuence!3 are on%# an overture to the further 0rogre!! of event!. 7u!t a! the overture to an o0era antici0ate! the 'u!ica% the'e! of the entire o0era and !tate! the' in co'0re!!ed for'3 !o doe! our 0o%itica% Poverture> 'ere%# an tici0ate the 'e%odie! that wi%% e deve%o0ed in fu%% in the future3 !we%%ed # tru'0et!3 contra< a!!e!3 dru'!3 and a%% the other in !tru'ent! of a !eriou! c%a!! 'u!ic. +he wa# thing! have 0rogre!!ed ha! convinced 'e e#ond an# dou t that we were and are right3 not on%# again!t the weathercock! and turncoat! (the 6inoviev!3 Ka'enev!3 P#atakov!3 etc.) ut a%!o again!t our dear friend! on the %eft3 B the u%tra<%eft!3 'udd%e<headed in !o far a! the# are a0t to acce0t the overture for the o0eraD that i!3 to think that a%% the funda'enta% 0roce!!e! in the 0art# and the !tate have a%read# reached co'0%etion3 and that the +her'idor3 of which the# fir!t heard fro' u!3 i! a%read# an acco'0%i!hed fact. Not to give wa# to one>! nerve!3 not to worr# one!e%f and other! unnece!!ari%#D to !tud#3 to wait3 to %ook !har0%# ahead and not a%%ow our 0o%itica% %ine to e corroded # the ru!t of 0er!ona% irritation B that !hou%d e our attitude.? On the ninth of 7une3 '# daughter Nina3 '# ardent !u00orter3 died in "o!cow. $he wa! twent#< !i/. Aer hu! and had een arre!ted !hort%# efore '# e/i%e. $he continued the o00o!itioni!t work unti% !he wa! %aid %ow # i%%ne!! B a Cuick con!u'0tion that carried her off in a few week!. +he %etter !he wrote to 'e fro' the ho!0ita% wa! !event#<three da#! reaching 'e3 and ca'e after !he died. ,akov!k# wired 'e on 7une 1Q& 9Ye!terda# received #our %etter a out Nina>! grave i%%ne!!. 5ired 1%e/andra 4eorgi#evna LIM in "o!cow. =earned to<da# fro' the 0a0er! that Nina>! rief ut revo%utionar# %ife ca'e to an end. I a' who%%# with #ou3 dear friend. It 0ain! 'e to e !e0arated fro' #ou # !uch an un!ur'ounta %e di!tance. I e' race #ou 'an# ti'e! fro' '# heart. *A,I$+I1N? 1 fortnight %ater ca'e ,akov!k#>! %etter& 98ear friend3 I a' great%# 0ained a out Ninochka3 L3M for #ou and #our!. You have %ong een earing the heav# cro!! of a revo%utionar# "ar/i!t3 ut now for the fir!t ti'e #ou are e/0eriencing the ound%e!! !orrow of a father. I a' with #ou3 with a%% '# heart. I grieve that I a' !o far fro' #ou ... You 'u!t have heard fro' $er#o-ha of the a !urd 'ea!ure! dea%t out to #our friend! after the !en!e%e!! treat'ent of #ou in "o!cow. I ca'e to #our hou!e ha%f an hour

after #our de0arture. 1 grou0 of co'rade!3 'o!t%# wo'en3 and with the' "ura%ov3 were in the !itting<roo'. 9P5ho i! citi-en ,akov!k#E> I heard a voice !a#. 9PI a'. 5hat do #ou wantE> 9PFo%%ow 'e.> 9I wa! %ed through the ha%% into a %itt%e roo'. )efore the door of the roo' I wa! co''anded& PAand! u0.> +hen '# 0ocket! were !earched and I wa! 0ut under arre!t. I wa! freed at five o>c%ock. "ura%ov3 who wa! afterward !u @ected to the !a'e thing3 wa! detained unti% %ate that night ... P=o!t their head!3> I !aid to '#!e%f3 fee%ing not !o 'uch angered a! a!ha'ed for '# own co'rade!.? I wrote ,akov!k# on 7u%# 1T& 98ear *hri!tian 4eorgi#evich3 I have not written #ou3 or other friend!3 for an eternit#D I have confined '#!e%f to !ending out variou! 'ateria%. 1fter '# return fro' the I%i3 where I fir!t got new! of Nina>! grave condition3 we 'oved at once to a countr# hou!e. +here3 a few da#! %ater3 ca'e the new! of her death. You under!tand what that 'eant ... )ut it wa! nece!!ar#3 without an# %o!! of ti'e3 to get docu'ent! read# for the !i/th congre!! of the *o''uni!t Internationa%. It wa! difficu%t. On the other hand3 the need of carr#ing out thi! work at an# co!t acted %ike a 'u!tard<0%a!ter3 and he%0ed u! to ear u0 through the fir!t 'o!t difficu%t week!. 95e were waiting here a%% 7u%# for 6inu!hka. LTM 1%a!J we were to e denied thi! vi!it. 4uetier de'anded that !he e 0%aced i''ediate%# in a !anitariu' for con!u'0tive!. $he had had the ger' for a %ong ti'e3 and nur!ing Ninu!hka during the three 'onth! after the doctor! had a%read# given her u0 greati# under'ined her hea%th ... 9Now a out the work for the congre!!. I have decided to !tart with a critici!' of the draft of the 0rogra''e in connection with a%% the Cue!tion! on which we are o00o!ed to the officia% %eader!. I have ended # 0roducing a ook of a out 1;5 0age!. 4enera%%# !0eaking3 I have !u''ed u0 the re!u%t of our co%%ective work during the %a!t five #ear!3 when =enin retired fro' the 0art# %eader!hi0 and the reck%e!! e0igoni!' ca'e in3 at fir!t %iving on the intere!t fro' the o%d ca0ita%3 ut !oon eginning to !0end the ca0ita% it!e%f. 9*oncerning the a00ea% to the congre!!3 I have received !evera% do-en %etter! and te%egra'!. *o'0i%ation of the vote! ha! not #et een 'ade. 1t an# rate3 out of over a hundred vote!3 on%# three are in favor of Pr#eo ra-hen!k#>! the!e!. 9It i! ver# 0ro a %e that $ta%in>! %oc with )ukharin and ,#kov wi%% kee0 the a00earance of unit# at thi! congre!! in order to 'ake a %a!t ho0e%e!! atte'0t to cover u! with a ver# fina% to' !tone. )ut @u!t thi! new effort and it! inevita %e fai%ure 'a# great%# e/0edite the 0rogre!! of divergence within the %oc3 for on the da# after the congre!! the Cue!tion P5hat ne/tE> wi%% ri!e in even greater nakedne!!. 5hat an!wer wi%% e givenE 1fter %etting the revo%utionar# !ituation in

4er'an# in 19I3 !%i0 #3 we were co'0en!ated # the u%tra<=eft -ig-ag of 19IT<5. +he u%tra< =eft 0o%ic# of 6inoviev ro!e fro' the ,ight #ea!t B the !trugg%e again!t the indu!tria%i-er!3 the ro'ance with ,adit!ch3 =aFo%%ette3 the Kre!tintern3 the Kuo'intang3 etc. 5hen the 0o%ic# of the u%tra<=eft! !'a!hed it! head3 the ,ight 0o%ic# ro!e fro' the !a'e ,ight #ea!t. +he chance of a roader re0etition of thi! at !o'e new !tage i! not arred3 that i!3 a new ultra0"e%t phase based on the sa#e opportunist pre#ises. )ut the %atent econo'ic force! 'a# reak off thi! u%tra<=eft trend and twi!t the 0o%ic# definite%# to the ,ight.? In 1ugu!t I wrote to !evera% of the co'rade!& 9Of cour!e #ou have noticed that our new!0a0er! re0rint a !o%ute%# no co''ent! # the 1'erican and Euro0ean 0re!! on the event! taking 0%ace in our 0art#. +hi! a%one 'ade one !u!0ect that !uch co''ent! do not Cuite !uit the reCuire'ent! of the >new 0o%ic#.> Now I have !o'ething that i! no 'ere gue!!3 ut a ver# !triking it of evidence fro' the 0re!!. *o'rade 1ndre#chin ha! !ent 'e a 0age torn fro' a Fe ruar# nu' er of the 1'erican 0a0er3 The 'ation. 1fter giving a rief !u''ar# of our %ate!t event!3 thi! i'0ortant %eft<de'ocratic @ourna% !a#!& 9P+hi! action ring! to the front the Cue!tion& 5ho re0re!ent! the continuation of the )o%!hevik 0rogra''e in ,u!!ia and who the inevita %e reaction fro' itE +o the 1'erican reader! it ha! !ee'ed a! if =enin and +rot!k# re0re!ented the !a'e thing and the con!ervative 0re!! and !tate!'en have arrived at the !a'e conc%u!ion. +hu!3 the New York Ti1es found a chief cau!e for re@oicing on New Year>! 8a# in the !ucce!!fu% e%i'ination of +rot!k# fro' the *o''uni!t Part#3 dec%aring f%at%# that Pthe ou!ted o00o!ition !tood for the 0er0etuation of the idea! and condition! that have cut off ,u!!ia fro' 5e!tern civi%i-ation.> "o!t of the great Euro0ean new!0a0er! wrote !i'i%ar%#. $ir 1u!tin *ha' er%ain during the 4eneva *onference wa! Cuoted a! !a#ing that Eng%and cou%d not enter into conver!ation! with ,u!!ia for the !i'0%e rea!on that P+rot!k# had not #et een !hot again!t a wa%%> B he 'u!t e 0%ea!ed # +rot!k#>! ani!h'ent ... 1t an# rate3 the 'outh0iece! of reaction in Euro0e are one in their conc%u!ion that +rot!k#3 and not $ta%in3 i! their chief *o''uni!t ene'#. L5M +hi! i! e%oCuent enough3 i!n>t itE? Aere are a few it! of !tati!tica% data fro' '# !on>! note!& 9For the 0eriod of 10ri% to Octo er3 19IG3 we !ent out fro' 1%'a 1ta a out G22 0o%itica% %etter!3 a'ong the' Cuite a few %arge work!. +he te%egra'! !ent a'ounted to a out 552. 5e received a out 13222 0o%itica% %etter!3 oth %ong and !hort3 and a out ;22 te%egra'!3 in 'o!t ca!e! fro' grou0! of 0eo0%e. 1%% thi! refer! chief%# to the corre!0ondence within the region of e/i%e3 ut %etter! fro' e/i%e fi%tered out into the countr# a! we%%. Of the corre!0ondence !ent u!3 we received3 in the e!t 'onth!3 not 'ore than ha%f. In addition3 we received a out eight or nine !ecret 'ai%! fro' "o!cow3 that i!3 !ecret 'ateria% and %etter! forwarded # !0ecia% courier. 1 out the !a'e nu' er were !ent # u! in !i'i%ar fa!hion to "o!cow. +he !ecret 'ai% ke0t u! infor'ed of ever#thing that wa! going on there and ena %ed u!3 thorough%# after 'uch de%a#3 to re!0ond with our co''ent! on the 'o!t i'0ortant event!.

9+oward autu'n the !tate of '# hea%th grew 'uch wor!e. ,u'or! of thi! reached "o!cow. 5orker! egan to rai!e Cue!tion! a out it at the 'eeting!. +he officia% re0orter! found that their e!t cour!e wa! to 0icture '# hea%th in the righte!t co%or!.? On $e0te' er I23 '# wife !ent the fo%%owing te%egra' to Hg%anov3 then !ecretar# of the "o!cow 0art# organi-ation& 9In #our !0eech at the 0%enar# 'eeting of the "o!cow co''ittee3 #ou !0eak of the %ictitious i%%ne!! of '# hu! and3 =.8. +rot!k#. ,eferring to the an/iet# and 0rote!t! of 'an# co'rade! #ou e/c%ai' indignant%#& P+he!e are the 'ea!ure! the# re!ort toJ> You 'ake it a00ear that un eco'ing 'ea!ure! are re!orted to not # the 'en who ani!h =enin>! co%%a orator! and conde'n the' to i%%ne!!3 ut # tho!e who 0rote!t again!t thi!. On what ground! and # what right do #ou infor' the 0art#3 the worker! and the who%e wor%d that the re0ort! of =.8.>! i%%ne!! are fa%!eE You are actua%%# deceiving the 0art#. +he archive! of the *entra% *o''ittee contain re0ort! # our e!t 0h#!ician! on the !tate of =.8.>! hea%th. *on!u%tation! of the!e 0h#!ician! were he%d 'ore than once at the in!tigation of (%adi'ir I%#ich3 who !howed the greate!t concern for =.8.>! hea%th. +ho!e con!u%tation! ca%%ed a%!o after (.I.>! death have e!ta %i!hed the fact that =.8. i! !uffering fro' co%iti! and gout cau!ed # fau%t# a!!i'i%ation of 'atter. You 0ro a %# know that in "a#3 19IQ3 =.8. underwent an o0eration in )er%in to rid hi'!e%f of the high te'0erature that had tor'ented hi' for !evera% #ear!D ut he found no re%ief. *o%iti! and gout are not the !ort of di!ea!e! that can e cured3 e!0ecia%%# at 1%'a<1ta. 1! the #ear! go #3 the# get wor!e. Aea%th can e 'aintained at a certain %eve% on%# through a 0ro0er regi'en and the right !ort of treat'ent. Neither one nor the other i! 0rocura %e at 1%'a<1ta. 1! to what regi'en and treat'ent are nece!!ar#3 #ou 'a# a!k the Peo0%e>! *o''i!!ar# of Aea%th3 $#e'a!hko3 who 0artici0ated !evera% ti'e! in the con!u%tation! ordered # (%adi'ir I%#ich. In addition to thi!3 =.8. ha! here fa%%en a victi' to 'a%aria3 which a%!o affect! oth the co%iti! and the gout and often cau!e! viciou! headache!. +he week! and 'onth! when hi! condition i! etter are fo%%owed # 'ore week! and 'onth! of !evere i%%ne!!. +hat i! the actua% !tate of affair!. You have e/i%ed =.8. # virtue of artic%e 5Q3 a! a Pcounter<revo%utionar#.> It wou%d e under!tanda %e if #ou had !aid that =.8.>! hea%th did not intere!t #ou at a%%. In that ca!e #ou wou%d e con!i!tent3 with that dangerou! con!i!tenc# which3 if it i! not !to00ed3 wi%% %ead to the grave not on%# the e!t revo%utionarie! ut 0o!!i %# the 0art# and the revo%ution it!e%f. )ut now3 a00arent%# under 0re!!ure of 0u %ic o0inion of the worker!3 #ou %ack the courage to e con!i!tent. In !tead of !a#ing that +rot!k#>! i%%ne!! i! to #our advantage3 ecau!e it can 0revent hi! thinking and writing3 #ou !i'0%# den# the i%%ne!!. Ka%i%in3 "o%otov and other! act the !a'e wa# in their 0u %ic !tate'ent!. +he fact that #ou are now obliged to an!wer inCuirie! fro' the 'a!!e! and to tr# to wrigg%e out in !uch an un!ee'%# 'anner3 0rove! that the working<c%a!! doe! not e%ieve the 0o%itica% !%ander of +rot!k#. Neither wi%% it e%ieve #our %ie! a out =.8.>! !tate of hea%th. N.I. $E8O(1<+,O+$K1Y1.?

'otes
1. +hen head of the 4PH. B Trans. I. ,akov!k#>! wife.

3. Ninochka and Ninu!hka3 6inochka and 6inu!hka3 are endearing di'inutive! of Nina and 6ina re!0ective%#. B Trans. T. +he e%der daughter. 5. The 'ation3 Fe ruar# 13 19IG.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <L0V

T3( D(P&!TAT0&'
In Octo er3 a rigorou! change in our !ituation took 0%ace. *o''unication with our 0er!ona% and 0o%itica% friend!3 even with our re%ative! in "o!cow3 cea!ed a ru0t%#D %etter! and te%egra'! no %onger reached u!. +he "o!cow te%egra0h office3 a! we %earned through !0ecia% channe%!3 accu'u%ated !evera% hundred te%egra'! for 'e3 e!0ecia%%# te%egra'! on the anniver!ar# of the Octo er ,evo%ution. +he ring around u! wa! c%o!ing in tighter and tighter. 8uring 19IG3 the o00o!ition3 in !0ite of the un rid%ed 0er!ecution3 o viou!%# wa! growing3 e!0ecia%%# in the %arge indu!tria% 0%ant!. +hi! wa! re!0on!i %e for the increa!e of re0ri!a%!3 inc%uding even the co'0%ete !u00re!!ion of corre!0ondence a'ong the e/i%e! the'!e%ve!. 5e e/0ected other 'ea!ure! of the !a'e !ort to fo%%ow3 and we were not 'i!taken. On 8ece' er 1Q3 a !0ecia% re0re!entative of the 4PH3 co'ing fro' "o!cow3 in the na'e of that in!titution handed 'e an u%ti'atu'& I 'u!t !to0 directing the o00o!itionD if I did not3 'ea!ure! wou%d e taken 9to i!o%ate 'e fro' 0o%itica% %ife.? +he Cue!tion of de0orting 'e a road3 however3 wa! not rai!ed thenD the 'ea!ure! under con!ideration3 a! far a! I under!tood3 were !i'0%# of a do'e!tic character. I re0%ied to thi! u%ti'atu' with a %etter addre!!ed to the *entra% *o''ittee of the 0art# and the 0re!idiu' of the *o''uni!t Internationa%. I think it nece!!ar# to Cuote the 'ain 0oint! of thi! %etter here& +oda#3 8ece' er iQ3 the re0re!entative of the collegiu# of the 4PH3 (o%#n!k#3 acting in the na'e of the collegiu#3 de%ivered the fo%%owing ver a% u%ti'atu' to 'e& 9+he work of #our 0o%itica% !#'0athi-er! throughout the countr#? (a%'o!t word for word) 9ha! %ate%# a!!u'ed a definite%# counter revo%utionar# characterD the condition! in which #ou are 0%aced at 1%'a<1ta give #ou fu%% o00ortunit# to direct thi! workD in view of thi!3 the collegiu# of the 4PH ha! decided to de'and fro' #ou a categorica% 0ro'i!e to di!continue #our activit#D fai%ing thi!3 the collegiu# wi%% e o %iged to a%ter the condition! of #our e/i!tence to the e/tent of

co'0%ete%# i!o%ating #ou fro' 0o%itica% %ife. In thi! connection3 the Cue!tion of changing #our 0%ace of re!idence wi%% ari!e.? I infor'ed the re0re!entative of the 4PH that I can on%# give hi' a written re0%# 0rovided I receive fro' hi' a written !tate'ent of the 4PH>! u%ti'atu'. "# refu!a% to give an# ora% re0%# wa! a!ed on '# e%ief3 derived fro' a%% '# 0a!t e/0erience3 that '# word! wou%d again e viciou!%# di!torted to 'i!%ead the working 'a!!e! of the H$$, and of the re!t of the wor%d. )ut regard%e!! of further action # the collegiu# of the 4PH B which in thi! ca!e i! 0%a#ing no inde0endent rF%e ut i! on%# 'echanica%%# e/ecuting the o%d deci!ion3 %ong fa'i%iar to 'e3 of $ta%in>! narrow faction B I think it nece!!ar# to ring the fo%%owing to the notice of the *entra% *o''ittee of the 1%%<Hnion *o''uni!t Part# and of the E/ecutive *o''ittee of the *o''uni!t Internationa%& +he de'and that I a !tain fro' 0o%itica% activit# i! a de'and that I renounce the !trugg%e for the intere!t! of the internationa% 0rF%etariat3 a !trugg%e which I have een waging continua%%# for thirt#<two #ear!3 throughout a%% of '# con!ciou! %ife. +he atte'0t to re0re!ent thi! activit# a! 9counter<revo%utionar#? co'e! fro' tho!e who' I charge3 efore the internationa% 0rF%etariat3 with vio%ating the funda'enta% 0rinci0%e! of the teaching! of "ar/ and =enin3 with infringing on the hi!torica% intere!t! of the wor%d revo%ution3 with renouncing the tradition! and 0rece0t! of Octo er3 and with uncon!ciou!%#3 ut a%% the 'ore 'enacing%#3 0re0aring the +her'idor. +o a !tain fro' 0o%itica% activit# wou%d e tanta'ount to ending the !trugg%e again!t the %indne!! of the 0re!ent direction of the *o''uni!t Part#3 which add! to the o @ective difficu%tie! of the con!tructive $ocia%i!t work an ever<increa!ing nu' er of 0o%itica% difficu%tie! cau!ed # it! o00ortuni!t ina i%it# to conduct the 0rF%etarian 0o%ic# on a %arge3 hi!torica% !ca%e. It wou%d e tanta'ount to renouncing the !trugg%e again!t a !trang%ing 0art# rNgi'e that ref%ect! the growing 0re!!ure of the ene'# c%a!!e! on the 0rF%etarian vanguardD it wou%d e tanta'ount to 0a!!ive%# acCuie!cing in that econo'ic 0o%ic# of o00ortuni!' which i! under'ining and !haking the foundation! of the dictator!hi0 of the 0rF%etariat3 retarding the %atter>! 'ateria% and cu%tura% 0rogre!!3 and at the !a'e ti'e dea%ing !evere %ow! at the union of the worker! and the toi%ing 0ea!ant! B the foundation of the $oviet 0ower. +he =enin wing of the 0art# ha! een under a hai% of %ow! ever !ince 19I33 that i!3 ever !ince the une/a'0%ed co%%a0!e of the 4er'an ,evo%ution. +he increa!ing force of the!e %ow! kee0! 0ace with the further defeat! of the internationa% and $oviet 0rF%etariat a! a con !eCuence of o00ortuni!t %eader!hi0. +heoretica% rea!oning and 0o%itica% e/0erience atte!t that a 0eriod of hi!torica% recoi% or reaction can fo%%ow not on%# a ourgeoi!3 ut a 0rF%etarian revo%ution3 a! we%%. For !i/ #ear!3 we have een %iving in the H$$, under the condition! of a growing reaction again!t Octo er3 and3 con!eCuent%#3 of a c%earing of the wa# for the +her'idor. +he 'o!t o viou! and co'0%ete e/0re!!ion of thi! reaction within the 0art# i! the !avage 0er!ecution and routing of the =eft wing in the 0art# organi-ation.

In it! %ate!t atte'0t! at re!i!tance to the out<and<out +her'idorian!3 the $ta%in faction i! %iving on the chi0! and frag'ent! of the idea! of the o00o!ition. *reative%#3 it i! i'0otent. +he !trugg%e again!t the =eft de0rive! it of !ta i%it#. It! 0ractica% 0o%ic# ha! no ack one3 eing fa%!e3 contradictor# and unre%ia %e. +he noi!# ca'0aign again!t the danger fro' the ,ight i! three< Cuarter! !ha'3 and !erve! fir!t of a%% a! a !creen efore the 'a!!e! for the war of rea% e/ter'ination again!t the )o%!hevik<=enini!t!. +he wor%d bourgeoisie and the wor%d "en!hevi!' have eCua%%# %e!!ed thi! warD the!e @udge! have %ong !ince recogni-ed 9hi!torica% rightne!!? a! eing on $ta%in>! !ide. )ut for thi! %ind3 coward%# and utter%# ine0t 0o%ic# of ada0tation to ureaucrac# and 0hi%i!tini!'3 the 0o!ition of the working 'a!!e! in the twe%fth #ear of the dictator!hi0 wou%d e infinite%# 'ore favor a %e3 the 'i%itar# defen!e 'uch !tronger and 'ore re%ia %e3 and the *o''uni!t Internationa% wou%d e !tanding u0on a higher %eve%3 in< !tead of retreating !te0 # !te0 efore the treacherou! and vena% $ocia% 8e'ocrac#. +he incura %e weakne!! of the reaction headed # the a00aratu!3 in !0ite of it! a00arent 0ower3 %ie! in the fact that 9the# know not what the# do.? +he# are e/ecuting the order! of the ene'# c%a!!e!. +here can e no greater hi!torica% cur!e on a faction3 which ca'e out of the revo%ution and i! now under'ining it. +he greate!t hi!torica% !trength of the o00o!ition3 in !0ite of it! a00arent weakne!!3 %ie! in the fact that it kee0! it! finger! on the 0u%!e of the wor%d hi!torica% 0roce!!3 that it !ee! the d#na'ic! of the c%a!! force! c%ear%#3 fore!ee! the co'ing da# and con!ciou!%# 0re0are! for it. +o a !tain fro' 0o%itica% activit# wou%d 'ean to a !tain fro' getting read# for to'orrow. +he threat to change the condition! of '# %ife and i!o%ate 'e fro' 0o%itica% activit# !ound! a! if I had not a%read# een ani!hed to a 0%ace T3222 ki%o'etre! di!tant fro' "o!cow3 I52 ki%o'etre! di!tant fro' the rai%wa#3 and a out a! far fro' the order! of the we!tern de!ert 0rovince! of *hina B a region where 'a%ignant 'a%aria3 %e0ro!#3 and 0%ague ho%d do'inion. It !ound! a! if the $ta%in faction3 who!e direct organ i! the 4PH3 had not a%read# done ever#thing it cou%d to i!o%ate 'e fro' 0o%itica% a! we%% a! fro' an# other %ife. +he "o!cow new!0a0er! take fro' ten da#! to a 'onth or 'ore to reach here. =etter! co'e to 'e3 with few e/ce0tion!3 on%# after re!ting for one3 two or three 'onth! in the fi%e! of the 4PH and the !ecretariat of the *entra% *o''ittee. +wo of '# c%o!e!t co<worker! fro' the ti'e of the civi% war3 *o'rade! $#er'uk! and Po-nan!k#3 who ventured of their own accord to acco'0an# 'e to '# 0%ace of e/i%e3 were arre!ted i''ediate%# on their arriva%3 incarcerated in a ce%%ar with cri'ina%!3 and then e/i%ed to di!tant 0art! of the north countr#. 1 %etter fro' '# daughter3 fata%%# i%%3 who' #ou e/0e%%ed fro' the 0art# and re'oved fro' her work3 took !event#<three da#! to reach 'e fro' the "o!cow ho!0ita%3 !o that '# re0%# found her no %onger %iving. 1 %etter a out the !eriou! i%%ne!! of '# other daughter3 who wa! a%!o e/0e%%ed fro' the 0art# # #ou and re'oved fro' work3 wa! de%ivered to 'e a 'onth ago3 fort#<three da#! after %eaving "o!cow. +e%egra0h inCuirie! a out '# hea%th in 'o!t ca!e! never even reach their de!tination.

+hou!and! of irre0roacha %e )o%!hevik<=enini!t! who!e !ervice! to the Octo er ,evo%ution and the internationa% 0rF%etariat far !ur0a!! the !ervice! of tho!e who have i'0ri!oned and ani!hed the'3 are in the !a'e !ituation3 or wor!e. In 0%anning increa!ing%# !evere re0ri!a%! again!t the o00o!ition3 the narrow faction of $ta%in B who' =enin in hi! 95i%%? ca%%ed 9rude and di!%o#a%? at a ti'e when tho!e characteri!tic! had not een revea%ed in even one hundredth 0art of their 0re!ent degree B i! con!tant%# endeavoring3 with the aid of the 4PH3 to 0%ant u0on the o00o!ition !o'e 9connection? with the ene'ie! of the 0rF%etarian dictator!hi0. 5ithin their !'a%% circ%e3 the 0re!ent %eader! !a#& 9+hi! i! nece!!ar# for the 'a!!e!?D !o'eti'e!3 even 'ore c#nica%%#& 9+hi! i! for the foo%!.? "# c%o!e!t co<worker3 4egcrg# (a!i%i#evich )utov3 who had een in charge of the !ecretariat of the ,evo%utionar# "i%itar# *ounci% of the ,e0u %ic during a%% the #ear! of civi% war3 wa! arre!ted and he%d under into%era %e condition!. Fro' thi! 0ure and 'ode!t 'an3 thi! irre0roacha %e 0art# worker3 the# tried # force to e/tort a confir'ation of charge! in the !0irit of the +her'idorian fa rication!3 charge! known in advance to e fa%!e and counterfeit. )utov>! an!wer wa! a heroic hunger !trike that %a!ted a out 52 da#!D in $e0te' er of thi! #ear he died in 0ri!on. (io%ence3 eating!3 torture B oth 0h#!ica% and 'ora% B are infficted on the e!t )o%!hevik worker! for their adherence to the 0rece0t! of Octo er. $uch are the genera% condition! which3 in the word! of the collegiu# of the 4PH3 90re!ent no o !tac%e? at 0re!ent to the 0o%itica% activit# of the o00o!ition in genera%3 and to 'ine in 0articu%ar. +he !orr# threat to change the!e condition! for 'e in the direction of further i!o%ation i! nothing ut the deci!ion of the $ta%in faction to !u !titute 0ri!on for e/i%e. +hi! deci!ion3 a! I have a%read# !aid a ove3 i! nothing a!tounding. 1! ear%# a! 19IT it wa! for'ed in 0ro!0ect3 and ha! een carried out gradua%%# !te0 # !te03 !o that the o00re!!ed and deceived 0art# 'ight i'0erce0ti %# grow accu!to'ed to the $ta%in 'ethod!3 who!e rudene!! and di!%o#a%t# have now ri0ened into 0oi!oned ureaucratic di!hone!t#. In the )eclaration !u 'itted to the !i/th congre!! B a! if fore!eeing the u%ti'atu' 0re!ented to 'e toda# B we wrote (erbati#& 9+o de'and fro' a revo%utionar# !uch a renunciation (of 0o%itica% activit#3 i.e.3 in the !ervice of the 0art# and the internationa% revo%ution) wou%d e 0o!!i %e on%# for a co'0%ete%# de0raved officia%do'. On%# conte'0ti %e renegade! wou%d e ca0a %e of giving !uch a 0ro'i!e.? I cannot a%ter an#thing in the!e word! ... +o ever#one3 hi! due. You wi!h to continue carr#ing out 0o%icie! in!0ired # c%a!! force! ho!ti%e to the 0rF%etariat. 5e know our dut# and we wi%% do it to the end. =. +,O+$KY 8ece' er 1Q3 19IG. 1%'a<1ta? 1fter thi! re0%#3 a 'onth 0a!!ed without change. Our connection! with the out!ide wor%d had een co'0%ete%# roken off3 inc%uding the !ecret one! with "o!cow. 8uring 7anuar#3 we received on%# the "o!cow new!0a0er!. +he 'ore the# wrote a out the !trugg%e again!t the ,ight3 the 'ore confident%# we waited for a %ow again!t the =eft. +hat i! the $ta%in 'ethod.

+he "o!cow e'i!!ar# of the 4PH3 (o%#n!k#3 re'ained at 1%'a<1ta awaiting in!truction!. On 7anuar# I23 he a00eared at '# hou!e3 acco'0anied # 'an# ar'ed agent! of the 4PH who occu0ied the entrance and e/it!3 and handed 'e the fo%%owing e/tract fro' the 'inute! of the 4PH for 7anuar# 1G3 19I9& 9ConsideredC the ca!e of citi-en +rot!k#3 =ev 8av#dovich3 under artic%e 5Gd12 of the *ri'ina% *ode3 on a charge of counter<revo%utionar# activit# e/0re!!ing it!e%f in the organi-ation of an i%%ega% anti<$oviet 0art#3 who!e activit# ha! %ate%# een directed toward 0rovoking anti<$oviet action! and 0re0aring for an ar'ed !trugg%e again!t the $oviet 0ower. ,esol(edC *iti-en +rot!k#3 =ev 8av#dovich3 to e de0orted fro' the territor# of the H$$,.? 5hen %ater I wa! a!ked to !ign a !%i0 to the effect that I had acCuainted '#!e%f with thi! deci!ion3 I wrote& 9+he deci!ion of the 4PH3 cri'ina% in !u !tance and i%%ega% in for'3 ha! een announced to 'e3 7anuar# I23 19I9. +rot!k#.: I ca%%ed the deci!ion cri'ina% ecau!e it te%%! a de%i erate %ie in charging 'e with 0re0aring for an ar'ed !trugg%e again!t the $oviet 0ower. +hi! for'u%a3 nece!!ar# for $ta%in to @u!tif# the de0ortation3 i! in it!e%f a 'o!t viciou! atte'0t to under'ine the $oviet 0ower. If it were true that the o00o!ition directed # the organi-er! of the Octo er ,evo%ution3 the ui%der! of the $oviet ,e0u %ic and the ,ed 1r'#3 wa! 0re0aring for an overthrow of the $oviet 0ower # force of ar'!3 thi! in it!e%f wou%d have !0e%%ed cata!tro0he for the countr#. Fortunate%#3 the 4PH for'u%a i! an in!o%ent %ie. +he 0o%ic# of the o00o!ition ha! nothing to do with 0re0aration for an ar'ed !trugg%e. 5e are guided who%%# # a conviction of the 0rofound vita%it# and e%a!ticit# of the $oviet rNgi'e. Our cour!e i! one of inner refor'. 5hen I a!ked how and to where I wa! to e de0orted3 I received the an!wer that I wou%d e infor'ed of thi! in Euro0ean ,u!!ia # the re0re!entative of the 4PH who wa! to 'eet 'e there. +he who%e ne/t da# wa! taken u0 with a feveri!h 0acking3 a%'o!t e/c%u!ive%# of 'anu!cri0t! and ook!. In 0a!!ing3 I 'a# note that there wa! no !ugge!tion of ho!ti%it# on the 0art of the agent! of the 4PH. Suite the contrar#. 1t dawn on the twent#<!econd3 '# wife3 '# !on3 and I3 with the e!cort3 !et off in an auto u! which drove u! a%ong a !'ooth3 fir' road of !now to the to0 of the Kurda# 'ountain range. On the !u''it3 there were heav# !nowdrift! and a !trong wind. +he 0owerfu% tractor that wa! to tow u! over the Kurda# 0a!! got %odged in the !now u0 to it! neck3 together with the !even auto'o i%e! it wa! towing. 8uring the !now<!tor'!3 !even 'en and a good 'an# hor!e! were fro-en to death on the 0a!!. 5e were o %iged to tran!fer to !%eigh!. It took u! 'ore than !even hour! to advance a out 32 ki%o'etre!. 1%ong the drifted road3 we encountered 'an# !%eigh! with their !haft! !ticking u03 'uch 'ateria% for the +urke!tan<$i erian rai%wa#3 in the 0roce!! of con!truction3 'an# kero!ene<tank! B a%% dee0 in !now. "en and hor!e! had found !he%ter fro' the !now!tor'! in the near # winter ca'0! of the Kirghi-e!. On the other !ide of the ridge3 an auto'o i%e again3 and at Pi!h0ek3 a rai%wa# car. +he "o!cow 0a0er! which we get on the wa# revea% a 0re0aring of 0u %ic o0inion for the de0ortation to foreign countrie! of the %eader! of the o00o!ition. In the 1kt#u in!k di!trict3 we are 'et with a co''unication3 tran!'itted over a direct wire3 that the 0%ace of de0ortation i! to e

*on!tantino0%e. I de'and to !ee two 'e' er! of '# fa'i%# in "o!cow3 '# !econd !on and '# daughter<in<%aw. +he# are rought to the !tation ,#a-h!k3 and 0%aced under the !a'e rNgi'e a! we. +he new re0re!entative of the 4PH3 )u%anov3 tried to convince 'e of the advantage! of *on!tantino0%e. I refu!e categorica%%# to avai% '#!e%f of the'. )u%anov engage! in negotiation! over a direct wire with "o!cow. +here ever#thing ha! een fore!een e/ce0t the o !tac%e of '# refu!a% to go a road vo%untari%#. Our train3 turned a!ide fro' the direction in which it ha! een going3 'ove! a%ong !%ow%#3 !to0! on a !ide<%ine near a dead %itt%e !tation3 and there !ink! into a co'a etween two !tretche! of thin wood!. 8a# after da# goe! #. +he nu' er of e'0t# can! a out the train grow! !teadi%#. *row! and 'ag0ie! gather for the fea!t in ever<increa!ing f%ock!. 5a!te ... $o%itude. +here are no hare! hereD the# were wi0ed out in the autu'n # a crue% e0ide'ic3 and !o the fo/ ha! %aid hi! !tea%th# track! to the ver# train. +he engine 'ake! dai%# tri0! with one car to a %arger !tation for our 'idda# 'ea% and our new!0a0er!. 4ri00e rage! in our car. 5e reread 1nato%e France and K%#uchev!k#>! ,u!!ian hi!tor#. I 'ake '# fir!t acCuaintance with I!trati. +he co%d reache! 53 degree! e%ow -ero (Fahrenheit). Our engine kee0! ro%%ing ack and forth over the rai%! to kee0 fro' free-ing. In the ether3 radio !tation! ca%% to one another3 a!king our wherea out!. 5e don>t hear the!e inCuirie!D we are 0%a#ing che!!. )ut even if we heard the'3 we cou%d not an!werD we were rought here at night3 and we our!e%ve! don>t know where we are. +hu! we !0ent twe%ve da#! and twe%ve night!. 5e %earned fro' the new!0a0er! of new arre!t! of !evera% hundred 0eo0%e3 inc%uding 152 of the !o<ca%%ed 9+rot!k#i!t centre.? +he 0u %i!hed na'e! inc%uded Kavtarad-e3 the for'er chair'an of the $oviet of Peo0%e>! *o''i!!arie! of 4eorgia3 "divani3 the for'er trade re0re!entative of the H$$, in Pari!3 and (oron!k#3 our e!t %iterar# critic3 and other! B a%% o%d 0art# 'e' er!3 %eader! in the Octo er ,evo%ution. On Fe ruar# G3 )u%anov announced& 9In !0ite of a%% the effort! fro' "o!cow3 the 4er'an govern'ent ha! categorica%%# refu!ed to ad'it #ou to 4er'an#. I have een given fina% in!truction! to conduct #ou to *on!tantino0%e.? 9)ut I wi%% not go vo%untari%#3 and I wi%% !a# !o at the +urki!h frontier.? 9+hat wi%% not change 'atter!D #ou wi%% e conducted into +urke# in an# ca!e.? 9+hen #ou have 'ade a dea% with the +urki!h 0o%ice for '# forci %e de0ortation into +urke#E? 1n eva!ive ge!ture& 95e on%# carr# out our order!.? 1fter a twe%ve<da# ha%t3 the train egan to 'ove. Our !'a%% train grew with the increa!e in our e!cort. +hroughout the tri03 ever !ince we had oarded the train at Pi!h0ek3 we were not a%%owed to %eave our car. Now we were going at fu%% !0eed toward the !outh3 !to00ing on%# at !'a%% !tation! to take on water and fue%. +he!e e/tre'e 0recaution! were due to the 'e'orie! of the "o!cow de'on!tration in connection with '# e/i%e in 7anuar#3 19IG. +he new!0a0er! received en route rought to u! echoe! of the great new ca'0aign again!t the +rot!k#i!t!. )etween the %ine! wa! vi!i %e a !trugg%e in the u00er grou0! over the Cue!tion of '# de0ortation. +he $ta%in

faction wa! in a hurr#3 and for thi! there wa! rea!on enough& it had to overco'e not on%# 0o%itica% ut 0h#!ica% o !tac%e! a! we%%. +he !tea'er :alinin had een a00ointed to take u! fro' Ode!!a3 ut it eca'e ice< ound and a%% the effort! of the ice< reaker! were in vain. "o!cow wa! !tanding at the te%egra0h<%ine and urging ha!te. +he !tea'er &lyich 0ut on !tea' # urgent order. Our train arrived in Ode!!a on the night of Fe ruar# 12. I %ooked through the car<window at fa'i%iar 0%ace!D I had !0ent !even #ear! of '# !choo% %ife in thi! cit#. Our car wa! rought right u0 to the !tea'er. It wa! itter%# co%d. 8e!0ite the %atene!! of the hour3 the 0ier wa! !urrounded # troo0! and agent! of the 4PH. Aere I had to !a# good< # to '# #ounger !on and '# daughter< in<%aw3 who had !hared our i'0ri!on'ent with u! for the 0a!t two week!. Peering through the car<window at the !tea'er awaiting u!3 we re'e' ered that other oat that %ikewi!e had not een taking u! to our 0ro0er de!tination. +hat wa! in "arch3 191;3 off Aa%ifa/3 when )riti!h 'arine!3 efore the e#e! of a crowd of 0a!!enger!3 had carried 'e on their !hou%der! fro' the Norwegian !tea'er Christiania%iord. Our fa'i%# had een the !a'e then3 ut we were twe%ve #ear! #ounger. +he &lyich3 which carried no cargo or 0a!!enger!3 c%eared a out one o>c%ock in the 'orning. For a di!tance of !i/t# 'i%e!3 an ice< reaker 'ade 0a!!age for u!. +he ga%e that had een raging caught u! here on the %a!t !troke! of it! wing!. On Fe ruar# 1I3 we entered the )o!0horu!. +o the +urki!h 0o%ice who oarded the !tea'er at )u#ukdere to check off the 0a!!enger! B e!ide! '# fa'i%# and the agent! of the 4PH there were no 0a!!enger! on the oat B I handed the fo%%owing !tate'ent for tran!'i!!ion to the Pre!ident of the +urki!h ,e0u %ic3 Ke'a% Pa!ha& 98ear $ir& 1t the gate of *on!tantino0%e3 I have the honor to infor' #ou that I have arrived at the +urki!h frontier not of '# own choice3 and that I wi%% cro!! thi! frontier on%# # !u 'itting to force. I reCue!t #ou3 "r. Pre!ident3 to acce0t '# a00ro0riate !enti'ent!. =. +rot!k#. Fe ruar# 1I3 19I9.? +hi! dec%aration had no con!eCuence!. +he !tea'er 0roceeded into the har or. 1fter a @ourne# of II da#!3 during which we had covered a di!tance of Q3222 ki%o'etre!3 we found our!e%ve! in *on!tantino0%e.

Leon Trotsky

My Life
%3APT(! <LV

T3( PLA'(T *0T3&6T A V0)A

5e found our!e%ve! in *on!tantino0%e3 fir!t in the con!u%ate ui%ding3 and then in a 0rivate a0art'ent. Aere are a few %ine! fro' '# wife>! note! dea%ing with the fir!t 0eriod& 9It i! 0ro a %# not worth whi%e to dwe%% on the 0ett# adventure! connected with our !ett%ing down in *on!tantino0%e B the %itt%e dece0tion! and coercion!. I wi%% record on%# one e0i!ode. 5e were !ti%% on the train3 on our wa# to Ode!!a. +he re0re!entative of the 4PH3 )u%anov3 wa! !etting forth a%% !ort! of a !o%ute%# va%ue%e!! con!ideration! touching our !ecurit# a road3 when =.8. interru0ted hi' with the word!& PYou had etter %et '# co<worker! $#er'uk! and Po-nan!k# go with 'e B that wouid e the on%# rea%%# effective thing to do.> )u%anov i''ediate%# tran!'itted the!e word! to "o!cow. 1t one of the ne/t !tation!3 he triu'0hant%# rought u! a re0%# received # direct wire& the 4PH3 that i!3 the Po%it ureau3 had agreed. =.8. %aughed. PYou wi%% deceive u! an#wa#.> 100arent%# genuine%# hurt3 )u%anov e/a'ined& P+hen #ou can ca%% 'e a %ackguard.> 9P5h# !hou%d I in!u%t #ouE> =.8. an!wered. PIt won>t e #ou ut $ta%in who wi%% do the deceiving.> On our arriva% at *on!tantino0%e3 =.8. inCuired a out $#er'uk! and Po-nan!k#. 1 few da#! %ater3 a re0re!entative of the con!u%ate rought u! a ca %ed re0%# fro' "o!cow& the# wou%d not e re%ea!ed. +he re!t of our e/0erience! were of 'uch the !a'e !ort.? 1n end%e!! !trea' of ru'or!3 !u00o!ition! and 0%ain invention! a out our de!tin# 0oured over u! through the new!0a0er! a! !oon a! we arrived in *on!tantino0%e. +he 0re!! to%erate! no ga0! in it! infor'ation3 and work! 0rodigiou!%#. +o 'ake one !eed grow3 nature 'u!t ca!t a 'u%titude of !eed! to the wind. +he 0re!! act! in the !a'e wa#. It 0ick! u0 ru'or! and di!!e'inate! the'3 'u%ti0%#ing the' end%e!!%#. Aundred! and thou!and! of re0ort! die efore the correct ver!ion even take! root. $o'eti'e! that doe!n>t ha00en unti% !evera% #ear! %ater. $o'e ti'e!3 too3 it ha00en! that the ti'e for truth never co'e!. +he thing that a'a-e! one on occa!ion! when 0u %ic o0inion i! touched to the Cuick i! 'an>! ca0acit# for %#ing. I !0eak of thi! with no 'ora% indignation3 ut rather in the tone of a natura%i!t who i! !i'0%# !tating a fact. +he urge to %ie3 and the ha it of it3 ref%ect the contradiction! in our %ive!. One 'a# !a# that the new!0a0er! te%% the truth on%# a! the e/ce0tion. In !a#ing thi! I have no de!ire to offend the @ourna%i!t!D the# are not ver# different fro' other 0eo0%e3 eing 'ere%# their 'ega 0hone!. 6o%a wrote of the French financia% 0re!! that it cou%d e divided into two grou0!& the vena%3 and the !o<ca%%ed 9incorru0ti %e? that !e%%! it!e%f on%# in e/ce0tiona% ca!e! and at a ver# high 0rice. $o'ething of the !ort 'a# e !aid of the 'endacit# of new!0a0er! in genera%. +he #e%%ow 0re!! %ie! a! a 'atter of cour!e3 without he!itating or %ooking ack. New!0a0er! %ike The Ti1es or Le Te12s !0eak the truth on a%% uni'0ortant and incon!eCuentia% occa!ion!3 !o that the# can deceive the 0u %ic with a%% the reCui!ite authorit# when nece!!ar#. The Ti1es %ater 0u %i!hed re0ort! that I had co'e to *on!tantino0%e # arrange'ent with $ta%in3 to 0re0are for a 'i%itar# conCue!t of the countrie! of the Near Ea!t. +he !i/ #ear! of !trugg%e etween 'e and the e0igone! were re0re!ented a! a co'ed# with the 0art! di!tri uted in advance. 95ho wi%% e%ieve thatE? !o'e o0ti'i!t 'a# a!k. Ae i! wrong B 'an# wi%% e%ieve it. *hurchi%% 0ro a %# wi%% not e%ieve hi! new!0a0er3 ut *%#ne! i! !ure to e%ieve it3 or at %ea!t ha%f of it. It i! thi! that con!titute! the 'echanic! of the ca0ita%i!t de'ocrac#3 or3 to e 'ore e/act3

one of it! 'o!t e!!entia% !0ring!. )ut a%% thi! i! 'ere%# in 0a!!ing. *%#ne! wi%% e di!cu!!ed further a%ong. $oon after '# arriva% in *on!tantino0%e3 I read in one of the )er%in 0a0er! the !0eech of the 0re!ident of the ,eich!tag de%ivered on the occa!ion of the tenth anniver!ar# of the 5ei'ar Nationa% 1!!e' %#. It c%o!ed with the!e word!& D;ielleicht $o##en wir sogar da7u, errn Trol7$i das %reiheitliche 'syl 7u gebenE M"ebha%ter .ei%all bei der !ehrheitN.? L1M =X e>! word! were a great !ur0ri!e to 'e3 !ince ever#thing that had gone efore had given 'e rea!on to e%ieve that the 4er'an govern'ent had decided again!t '# ad'i!!ion to 4er'an#. $uch3 at an# rate3 had een the categorica% !tate'ent of the agent! of the $oviet govern'ent. On Fe ruar# 153 I ca%%ed in the re0re!entative of the 4PH who had acco'0anied 'e to *on!tantino0%e and !aid to hi'& 9I 'u!t draw the conc%u!ion that the infor'ation given 'e wa! fa%!e. =X e>! !0eech wa! 'ade on Fe ruar# Q. 5e !ai%ed fro' Ode!!a for +urke# on the night of Fe ruar# 12. =X e>! !0eech wa! known to "o!cow at that ti'e. I reco''end that #ou !end at once to "o!cow a te%egra' !ugge!ting that on the !trength of =X e>! !0eech the# 'ake an actual reCue!t to )er%in to grant 'e a vi!a. +hat wi%% e the %ea!t di!credita %e wa# of winding u0 the intrigue that $ta%in ha! a00arent%# ui%t u0 around the Cue!tion of '# ad'i!!ion to 4er'an#.? +wo da#! %ater3 the re0re!entative of the 4PH rought 'e the fo%%owing re0%#& 9In an!wer to '# ta%egra' to "o!cow3 I have received the confir'ation that the 4er'an govern'ent had categorica%%# refu!ed to i!!ue the vi!a a! ear%# a! the eginning of Fe ruar#D a new a00%ication wou%d e u!e%e!!D =X e>! !0eech wa! irre!0on!i %e. If #ou wi!h to verif# thi!3 #ou can a00%# for the vi!a #our!e%f.? +hi! ver!ion did not !ee' to 'e credi %e. I con!idered that the 0re!ident of the ,eich!tag wa! in a etter 0o!ition to know the intention! of hi! 0art# and hi! govern'ent than the agent! of the 4PH. +he !a'e da# I wired =X e infor'ing hi' that on the !trength of hi! !tate'ent I had a00%ied to the 4er'an con!u%ate with a reCue!t for a vi!a. +he de'ocratic and $ocia% 8e'ocratic 0re!! derived 'a%iciou! !ati!faction fro' 0ointing out the fact that a e%iever in the revo%utionar# dictator!hi0 wa! o %iged to !eek a!#%u' in a de'ocratic countr#. $o'e even e/0re!!ed the ho0e that thi! %e!!on wou%d teach 'e etter to a00reciate the in!titution! of de'ocrac#. Nothing wa! %eft 'e ut to wait and !ee how the %e!!on wou%d rea%i-e it!e%f. +he de'ocratic right of a!#%u' o viou!%# doe! not con!i!t in a govern'ent>! !howing ho!0ita%it# to 0eo0%e who ho%d view! !i'i%ar to it! own B even 1 du% Aa'id did that. Nor doe! it con!i!t in a de'ocrac#>! ad'itting e/i%e! on%# with the 0er'i!!ion of the govern'ent that e/i%ed the'. +he right of a!#%u' con!i!t! (on 0a0er) in a govern'ent>! giving refuge even to it! o00onent!3 0rovided the# undertake to o !erve the countr#>! %aw!. I of cour!e cou%d enter 4er'an# on%# a! an irreconci%a %e o00onent of the $ocia% 8e'ocratic govern'ent. In giving an interview to the *on!tantino0%e re0re!entative! of the 4er'an $ocia% 8e'ocratic 0re!! who ca%%ed on 'e for that 0ur0o!e3 I !u00%ied the nece!!ar# e/0%anation!3 which I wi%% Cuote here @u!t a! I wrote the' down i''ediate%# after the conver!ation& 91! I a' now a00%#ing for ad'i!!ion to 4er'an#3 where the 'a@orit# of the govern'ent con!i!t! of $ocia% 8e'ocrat!3 I a' chief%# intere!ted in c%arif#ing '# attitude toward the $ocia% 8e'ocrac#. In thi! re!0ect there ha! een no change. "# attitude toward the $ocia% 8e'ocrac#

i! @u!t what it wa!. "ore over3 '# !trugg%e again!t the centri!t faction of $ta%in i! on%# a ref%ection of '# genera% !trugg%e again!t the $ocia% 8e'ocrac#. Neither #ou nor I !tand in an# need of vaguene!! or a' iguit#. 9$o'e $ocia% 8e'ocratic 0u %ication! are tr#ing to !ee a contradiction etween '# !tand on the Cue!tion of de'ocrac# and '# reCue!t for ad'i!!ion to 4er'an#. +here i! no contradiction. 5e do not at a%% Pden#> de'ocrac# a! the anarchi!t! Pden#> it3 ver a%%#. +he ourgeoi! de'ocrac# ha! advantage! in co'0ari!on with the !tate for'! that 0receded it. )ut it i! not eterna%. It 'u!t #ie%d to $ocia%i!t !ociet#. +he dictator!hi0 of the 0rF%etariat i! the ridge to $ocia%i!t !ociet#. 9In a%% the ca0ita%i!t countrie! *o''uni!t! take 0art in the 0ar%ia'entar# !trugg%e. +here i! no difference in 0rinci0%e in the u!age of the right of a!#%u'3 and the u!age of !uffrage3 of the freedo' of the 0re!! and a!!e' %#3 and !o forth.? $o far a! I a' aware3 thi! interview wa! never 0u %i!hed. +here i! nothing !ur0ri!ing in that. In the 'eanti'e3 voice! were rai!ed in the $ocia% 8e'ocratic 0re!! in!i!ting on the nece!!it# of granting 'e the right of a!#%u'. One of the $ocia%<8e'ocratic %aw#er!3 8r. K. ,o!enfe%d3 acting on hi! own initiative3 took it u0on hi'!e%f to intercede on '# eha%f with a view to !ecuring '# ad'i!!ion to 4er'an#. )ut at the out!et he encountered difficu%tie!3 for a few da#! %ater I received a te%egra' fro' hi' a!king to what re!triction! I wou%d e wi%%ing to !u 'it during '# !ta# in 4er'an#. I re0%ied& 9I intend to %ive in co'0%ete i!o%ation3 out!ide of )er%inD not to !0eak at 0u %ic 'eeting!3 under an# circu'!tance!D and to confine '#!e%f to %iterar# work within the ound! of the 4er'an %aw!.? $o the 'atter under di!cu!!ion wa! no %onger the de#ocratic right of a!#%u'3 ut the right of re!idence in 4er'an# on an e8ceptional basis. +he %e!!on in de'ocrac# that '# o00onent! were going to accord 'e wa! given a re!trictive inter0retation at the ver# out!et. )ut thi! wa! not the end of it. 1 few da#! %ater I received a new te%egra0hic inCuir#& wou%d I agree to co'e to 4er'an# on%# for 0ur0o!e! of 'edica% treat'entE I wired in re0%#& 9I reCue!t that I e given at %ea!t the 0o!!i i%it# of !ta#ing in 4er'an# for a cour!e of treat'ent a !o%ute%# nece!!ar# for '# hea%th.? +hu!3 the right o% asylu# at thi! !tage !hrank to the right o% treat#ent. I na'ed !evera% we%%< known 4er'an 0h#!ician! who had treated 'e during the 0a!t ten #ear!3 who!e aid I needed now 'ore than ever efore. +oward Ea!ter3 the 4er'an 0re!! !ounded a new note& in govern'ent circ%e!3 it wa! !tated3 the o0inion wa! he%d that +rot!k# wa! not rea%%# !o i%% a! to e a !o%ute%# in need of the he%0 of 4er'an doctor! and of 4er'an hea%th re!ort!. On "arch 31 I te%egra0hed 8r. ,o!enfe%d& 91ccording to the new!0a0er re0ort! '# i%%ne!! i! not !ufficient%# ho0e%e!! to o tain '# ad'i!!ion to 4er'an#. I a!k3 did =X e offer 'e the right o% asylu# or the right o% inter#entE I a' wi%%ing to !u 'it to an# e/a'ination # an# 'edica% co''i!!ion. I undertake to %eave 4er'an# at the c%o!e of the hea%th<re!ort !ea!on.?

In thi! wa#3 in the cour!e of a few week!3 the de'ocratic 0rinci0%e wa! three ti'e! truncated. +he right of a!#%u' wa! at fir!t reduced to the right of re!idence on a !0ecia%%# re!tricted a!i!3 then to the right of treat'ent3 and fina%%#3 to the right of inter'ent. )ut thi! 'eant that I cou%d a00reciate the fu%% advantage! of de'ocrac# on%# a! a cor0!e. +here wa! no re0%# to '# te%egra'. 1fter waiting a few da#!3 I te%egra0hed )er%in again& 9,egard the a !ence of re0%# a! a di!%o#a% for' of refu!a%.? On%# after thi!3 on 10ri% 1I3 that i!3 after two 'onth!3 did I receive a co''unication that the 4er'an govern'ent had refu!ed '# a00%ication for ad'i!!ion. +here wa! nothing %eft ut to te%egra0h the 0re!ident of the ,eich!tag3 =X e& 9,egret have not received the 0o!!i i%it# for 0ractica% education in the advantage! of the de'ocratic right of a!#%u'. +rot!k#.? $uch i! the rief and in!tructive hi!tor# of '# fir!t atte'0t to find a 9de'ocratic? vi!a in Euro0e. Of cour!e3 it i! under!tood that if the right of a!#%u' had een accorded 'e3 that in it!e%f wou%d not in the %ea!t 'ean a refutation of the "ar/i!t theor# of a c%a!! !tate. +he rNgi'e of de'ocrac#3 which derive! not fro' !e%f<!ufficient 0rinci0%e!3 ut fro' the rea% reCuire'ent! of the do'inant c%a!!3 # the force of it! inner %ogic a%!o inc%ude! within it!e%f the right of a!#%u'. +he granting of refuge to a 0rF%etarian revo%utionar# in no wa# contradict! the ourgeoi! character of de'ocrac#. )ut there i! no need of !uch argu'ent! now3 for in 4er'an#3 a! directed # the $ocia% 8e'ocrat!3 no right of a!#%u' ha! een found to e/i!t. +hrough the 4PH3 $ta%in 0ro0o!ed on 8ece' er 1Q that I renounce '# 0o%itica% activit#. 8uring the di!cu!!ion of the Cue!tion of the right of a!#%u' in the 0re!!3 the !a'e condition wa! advanced # the 4er'an! a! !o'ething taken for granted. +hi! 'ean! that the govern'ent of "U%%er and $tre!e'ann %ike wi!e regard! tho!e idea! that are eing fought # $ta%in and hi! +h_%'ann! a! dangerou! and har'fu%. $ta%in3 # di0%o'atic 'ean!3 and the +h_%'ann!3 # 'ean! of agitation3 de'anded that the $ocia% 8e'ocratic govern'ent refu!e 'e ad'i!!ion to 4er'an# B 0re!u'a %# in the na'e of the intere!t! of the 0rF%etarian revo%ution. On the other f%ank3 *ha' er%ain3 *ount 5e!tar0 and their %ike de'anded that I e refu!ed the vi!a B in the intere!t! of the ca0ita%i!t order. Aer'ann "U%%er wa! a %e in thi! wa# to !ati!f# oth hi! 0artner! on the right and hi! a%%ie! on the %eft. +he $ocia% 8e'ocratic govern'ent eca'e the connecting %ink in the united internationa% front again!t the revo%utionar# "ar/i!'. For an i'age for thi! united front3 one need on%# turn to the fir!t %ine! of the %o11"nist Manifesto # "ar/ and Enge%!& 9For a ho%# war again!t thi! gho!t Lco''uni!'M3 a%% the force! of o%d Euro0e @oined hand! B the Po0e and the *-ar3 "etternich and 4ui-ot3 the French radica%! and the 4er'an 0o%ice'en.? +he na'e! are different3 ut the !u !tance i! the !a'e. +he fact that toda# the rF%e of the 4er'an 0o%ice'en i! 0%a#ed # the $ocia% 8e'ocrat! a%ter! the !ituation ut %itt%e. E!!entia%%# the# are 0rotecting the !a'e thing a! the Aohen-o%%ern 0o%ice'en. +he variet# of rea!on! that induce de'ocracie! to refu!e a vi!a i! great. +he Norwegian govern'ent3 if #ou 0%ea!e3 0roceed! !o%e%# fro' con!ideration for '# !afet#. I had never i'agined that I had !o 'an# con!iderate friend! in high 0%ace! in O!%o. +he Norwegian govern'ent i! of cour!e unre!erved%# in favor of the right of a!#%u'3 @u!t a! are the 4er'an3 French3 Eng%i!h3 and a%% the other govern'ent!. +he right of a!#%u'3 a! ever# one know!3 i! a !acred and i'0regna %e 0rinci0%e. )ut an e/i%e 'u!t fir!t of a%% !u 'it to O!%o a certificate

guaranteeing that he i! not going to e ki%%ed # an#one. +hen the# wi%% e/tend ho!0ita%it# to hi' B 0rovided3 of cour!e3 that no other o !tac%e! ari!e. +he two de ate! in the $torthing a out '# vi!a con!titute an ini'ita %e 0o%itica% docu'ent. ,eading it ha! given 'e at %ea!t a 0artia% co'0en!ation for the refu!a% of the vi!a which '# friend! in Norwa# were tr#ing to get for 'e. Fir!t3 the Norwegian 0re'ier had of cour!e a conver!ation in regard to '# vi!a with the chief of the !ecret 0o%ice3 who!e co'0etence in de'ocratic 0rinci0%e! B I ha!ten to ad'it B i! unCue!tioned. +he chief of the !ecret 0o%ice3 according to "r. "ohwinke%3 0ut for ward the con!ideration that the wi!e!t thing to do wa! to %et +rot!k#>! ene'ie! fini!h hi' off out!ide of Norwegian territor#. It wa! e/0re!!ed not Cuite !o 0reci!e%#3 ut that wa! what wa! 'eant. +he 'ini!ter of @u!tice on hi! 0art e/0%ained to the Norwegian 0ar%ia'ent that the co!t of 0rotecting +rot!k# wou%d e too great for the Norwegian udget. +he 0rinci0%e of !tate econ o'# B a%!o one of the indi!0uta %e de'ocratic 0rinci0%e! B 0roved thi! ti'e to e in irreconci%a %e o00o!ition to the right of a!#%u'. 1t a%% event!3 the conc%u!ion wa! that the 0er!on who 'o!t need! an a!#%u' ha! the %ea!t chance of o taining it. "uch wittier wa! the French govern'ent3 which !i'0%# 0ointed to the fact that the order for '# e/0u%!ion fro' France3 a! i!!ued # "a%v#3 had never een re!cinded. 1n utter%# in!ur'ounta %e o !tac%e in the wa# of de'ocrac#J I have re%ated ear%ier in thi! ook how after that e/0u%!ion3 and in !0ite of the unre!cinded order # "a%v#3 the French govern'ent wa! read# to 0%ace it! officer! at '# di!0o!a%D how I wa! vi!ited # French de0utie!3 a' a!!ador!3 and one of the 0re'ier!. )ut the!e 0heno'ena a00arent%# were 0roceeding a%ong two different 0%ane! that did not 'eet. 1nd at 0re!ent3 the 0o!ition i! thi!& a!#%u' in France wou%d dou t%e!! e accorded 'e if the archive! of the French 0o%ice did not contain an order for '# e/0u%!ion fro' France i!!ued at the de'and of *-ari!t di0%o'ac#. It i! known that a 0o%ice order i! !o'ething %ike the Po%e< $tarD it i! a! i'0o!!i %e to annu% it a! it i! to re'ove it. )e that a! it 'a#3 the right of a!#%u' ha! een ani!hed fro' France a! we%%. 5here then i! the countr# in which thi! right ha! found it! B a!#%u'E Perha0! Eng%andE On 7une 53 19I93 the Inde0endent =a or Part#3 of which ,a'!a# "ac8ona%d i! a 'e' er3 !ent 'e an officia% invitation3 on it! own initiative3 to co'e to Eng%and and de%iver a %ecture at the 0art# !choo%. +he invitation3 !igned # the genera% !ecretar# of the 0art#3 read& 95ith the for'ation of the =a or govern'ent here3 we cannot e%ieve that an# difficu%tie! are %ike%# to ari!e in connection with #our vi!it to Eng%and for thi! 0ur0o!e.? Neverthe%e!! difficu%tie! did ari!e. I wa! neither a%%owed to de%iver a %ecture efore the !u00orter! of "ac8ona%d3 nor wa! I a%%owed to avai% '#!e%f of the aid of Eng%i!h 0h#!ician!. "# a00%ication for a vi!a wa! f%at%# refu!ed. *%#ne!3 the =a or Ao'e $ecretar#3 defended thi! refu!a% in the Aou!e of *o''on!. Ae e/0%ained the 0hi%o!o0hica% 'eaning of de'ocrac# with a directne!! that wou%d have done credit to an# 'ini!ter of *har%e! II.LIM 1ccording to *%#ne!3 the right of a!#%u' doe! not 'ean the right of an e/i%e to de'and a!#%u'3 ut the right of the !tate to refu!e it. *%#ne!>! definition i! re'arka %e in one re!0ect& # a !ing%e %ow it de!tro#! the ver# foundation! of !o<ca%%ed de'ocrac#. +he right of a!#%u'3 in the !t#%e of *%#ne!3 a%wa#! e/i!ted in *-ari!t ,u!!ia. 5hen the $hah of Per!ia fai%ed to hang a%% the revo%utionarie! and wa! o %iged to %eave hi! e%oved countr#3 Nicho%a! II not on%# e/tended to hi' the right of a!#%u'3 ut !u00%ied hi' with !ufficient co'fort! to %ive in Ode!!a. )ut it never occurred to an# of the Iri!h revo%utionarie! to

!eek a!#%u' in *-ari!t ,u!!ia3 where the con!titution con!i!ted entire%# of the one 0rinci0%e e/0ounded # *%#ne!3 na'e%#3 that the citi-en! 'u!t e content with what the !tate authoritie! give the' or take fro' the'. "u!!o%ini accorded the right of a!#%u' to the King of 1fghani!tan in e/act agree'ent with thi! ver# 0rinci0%e. +he 0iou! "r. *%#ne! ought at %ea!t to have known that de'ocrac#3 in a !en!e3 inherited the right of a!#%u' fro' the *hri!tian church3 which3 in turn3 inherited it3 with 'uch e!ide!3 fro' 0agani!'. It wa! enough for a 0ur!ued cri'ina% to 'ake hi! wa# into a te'0%e3 !o'eti'e! enough even to touch on%# the ring of the door3 to e !afe fro' 0er!ecution. +hu! the church under!tood the right of a!#%u' a! the right of the 0er!ecuted to an a!#%u'3 and not a! an ar itrar# e/erci!e of wi%% on the 0art of 0agan or *hri!tian 0rie!t!. Hnti% now3 I had thought the 0iou! =a orite!3 though %itt%e infor'ed in 'atter! of $ocia%i!'3 certain%# we%% ver!ed in the tradition of the church. Now I find that the# are not even that. )ut wh# doe! *%#ne! !to0 at the fir!t %ine! of hi! theor# of the !tate %awE It i! a 0it#. +he right of a!#%u' i! on%# one co'0onent 0art of the !#!te' of de'ocrac#. Neither in it! hi!torica% origin3 nor in it! %ega% nature3 doe! it differ fro' the right of freedo' of !0eech3 of a!!e' %#3 etc. "r. *%#ne!3 it i! to e ho0ed3 wi%% !oon arrive at the conc%u!ion that the right of freedo' of !0eech !tand! not for the right of citi-en! to e/0re!! their thought!3 whatever the# 'a# e3 ut for the right of the !tate to for id it! !u @ect! to entertain !uch thought!. 1! to the freedo' of !trike!3 the conc%u!ion ha! a%read# een drawn # )riti!h %aw. *%#ne!>! 'i!fortune i! that he had to e/0%ain hi! action! a%oud3 for there were 'e' er! of the =a or faction in Par%ia'ent who 0ut re!0ectfu% ut inconvenient Cue!tion! to hi'. +he Norwegian 0re'ier found hi'!e%f in the !a'e un0%ea!ant !ituation. +he 4er'an ca inet wa! !0ared thi! di!co'fiture ecau!e in the who%e ,eich!tag there wa! not a !ing%e de0ut# who took an# intere!t in the Cue!tion of the right of a!#%u'. +hi! fact a!!u'e! !0ecia% !ignificance when one re'e' er! that the 0re!ident of the ,eich!tag3 in a !tate'ent that wa! a00%auded # the 'a@orit# of the de0utie!3 0ro'i!ed to accord 'e the right of a!#%u' at a ti'e when I had not even a!ked for it. +he Octo er ,evo%ution did not 0roc%ai' the a !tract 0rinci0%e! of de'ocrac#3 nor that of the right of a!#%u'. +he $oviet !tate wa! founded o0en%# on the right of revo%utionar# dictator!hi0. )ut thi! did not 0revent (anderve%de or other $ocia% 8e'ocrat! fro' co'ing to the $oviet re0u %ic and even a00earing in "o!cow a! 0u %ic defender! of 0er!on! gui%t# of terrori!t atte'0t! on the %ive! of the %eader! of the Octo er revo%ution. +he 0re!ent )riti!h 'ini!ter! were a%!o a'ong our vi!itor!. I cannot re'e' er a%% of tho!e who ca'e to u! B I haven>t the nece!!ar# data at hand B ut I re'e' er that a'ong the' were "r. and "r!. $nowden. +hi! 'u!t have een a! far ack a! 19I2. +he# were received not !i'0%# a! touri!t! ut a! gue!t!3 which wa! 0ro a %# carr#ing it a %itt%e too far. 1 o/ in the 4rand theatre wa! 0%aced at their di!0o!a%. I re'e' er thi! in connection with a %itt%e e0i!ode that it 'a# e worth recounting at thi! 0oint. I had arrived in "o!cow fro' the front3 and '# thought! were far awa# fro' the )riti!h gue!t!D in fact I did not even know who tho!e gue!t! were3 ecau!e in '# a !or0tion in other thing! I had hardi# read an# new!0a0er!. +he co''i!!ion that wa! receiving $nowden3 "r!. $nowden3 and if I a' not 'i taken3 )ertrand ,u!!e%% and 5i%%ia'!3 a! we%% a! a

nu' er of other!3 wa! headed # =o-ov!k#3 who to%d 'e # te%e0hone that the co''i!!ion de'anded '# 0re!ence in the theatre where the Eng%i!h gue!t! were. I tried to e/cu!e '#!e%f3 ut =o-ov!k# in!i!ted that hi! co''i!!ion had een given fu%% 0ower # the Po%it ureau and that it wa! '# dut# to !et other! an e/a'0%e of di!ci0%ine. I went unwi%%ing%#. +here were a out a do-en )riti!h gue!t! in the o/. +he theatre wa! cra''ed to overf%owing. 5e were gaining victorie! at the front3 and the theatre a00%auded the' vio%ent%#. +he )riti!h gue!t! !urrounded 'e and a00%auded too. One of the' wa! $nowden. +oda# of cour!e he i! a %itt%e a!ha'ed of thi! adventure. )ut it i! i'0o!!i %e to era!e it. 1nd #et I too !hou%d e g%ad to do !o3 for '# 9fraterni-ing? with the =a orite! wa! not on%# a 'i!take3 ut a 0o%itica% error a! we%%. 1! !oon a! I cou%d get awa# fro' the gue!t!3 I went to !ee =enin. Ae wa! 'uch di!tur ed. 9I! it true that #ou a00eared in the o/ with tho!e 0eo0%eE? (=enin u!ed a different word for 90eo0%e.?) In e/cu!e3 I referred to =o-ov!k#3 to the co''i!!ion of the *entra% *o''ittee3 to di!ci0%ine3 and e!0ecia%%# to the fact that I had not the re'ote!t idea who the gue!t! were. =enin wa! furiou! with =o-ov!k# and the who%e co''i!!ion in genera%3 and for a %ong ti'e I too cou%dn>t forgive '#!e%f for '# i'0rudence. One of the 0re!ent )riti!h 'ini!ter! vi!ited "o!cow !evera% ti'e!3 I e%ieveD at an# rate3 he re!ted in the $oviet re0u %ic3 !ta#ed in the *auca!u! and ca%%ed on 'e. It wa! "r. =an! ur#. +he %a!t ti'e I 'et hi' wa! at Ki!%ovod!k. I wa! urged to dro0 in3 if on%# for a Cuarter of an hour3 at the Aou!e of ,e!t where !o'e 'e' er! of our 0art# and a few foreign vi!itor! were !ta#ing. 1 good%# nu' er of 0eo0%e were !itting around a %arge ta %e. It wa! in the nature of a 'ode!t anCuet. +he 0%ace of honor wa! he%d # the gue!t3 =an! ur#. On '# arriva%3 he offered a toa!t and then !ang& 9For he>! a @o%%# good fe%%ow.? +ho!e were =an! ur#>! fee%ing! toward 'e in the *auca!u!. +oda#3 he too wou%d 0ro a %# %ike to forget a out it. 5hen I a00%ied for the vi!a3 I !ent !0ecia% te%egra'! to $nowden and =an! ur#3 re'inding the' of the ho!0ita%it# that had een accorded the' # the $oviet! and in 0art # '#!e%f. "# te%egra'! had %itt%e effect. In 0o%itic!3 reco%%ection! carr# a! %itt%e weight a! de'ocratic 0rinci0%e!. "r. and "r!. $idne# 5e 'o!t courteou!%# 0aid 'e a vi!it Cuite recent%#3 ear%# in "a# of 19I93 when I wa! a%read# on Prinki0o. 5e ta%ked a out the 0o!!i %e advent of the =a or 0art# to 0ower. I re'arked in 0a!!ing that i''ediate%# after the for'ation of "ac8ona%d>! govern'ent3 I intended to de'and a vi!a. "r. 5e e/0re!!ed the view that the govern'ent 'ight find it!e%f not !trong enough3 and ecau!e of their de0endence on the =i era%!3 not free enough3 either. I re0%ied that a 0art# that i!n>t !trong enough to e a %e to an!wer for it! action! had no right to 0ower. Our irreconci%a %e difference! needed no new te!t. 5e ca'e into 0ower. I de'anded a vi!a. "ac 8ona%d>! govern'ent refu!ed '# a00%ication3 ut not ecau!e the =i era%! 0revented it fro' fo%%owing it! de'ocratic conviction!. Suite the contrar#. +he =a or govern'ent refu!ed the vi!a3 de!0ite the 0rote!t! of the =i era%!. +hi! wa! a variant that "r. 5e did not fore!ee. It 'u!t e 0ointed out3 however3 that at that ti'e he wa! not #et =ord Pa!!f%e%d. $o'e of the!e 'en I know 0er!ona%%#. Other! I can @udge on%# # ana%og#. I think that I 'ea!ure the' correct%#. +he# have een rai!ed u0 # the auto'atic growth of %a or organi-ation!3 e!0ecia%%# !ince the war3 and # the !heer 0o%itica% e/hau!tion of %i era%i!'. +he# have co'0%ete%# !hed the naive idea%i!' that !o'e of the' had I5 or 32 #ear! ago. In it! !tead3 the# have acCuired 0o%itica% routine and un!cru0u%ou!ne!! in the choice of 'ean!. )ut in their genera%

out%ook the# have re'ained what the# were B ti'id3 0ett# ourgeoi! who!e 'ethod! of thought are far 'ore ackward than the 'ethod! of 0roduction in the )riti!h coa%<'ining indu!tr#. +oda#3 their chief concern i! that the court no i%it# and the ig ca0ita%i!t! 'a# refu!e to take the' !eriou!%#. 1nd no wonder. Now that the# are in 0ower3 the# are on%# too !har0%# aware of their weakne!!. +he# have not and cannot have the Cua%itie! 0o!!e!!ed # the o%d governing c%iCue! in which tradition! and ha it! of ru%er!hi0 have een handed down fro' generation to generation3 and often take the 0%ace of ta%ent and inte%%ect. )ut neither do the# have what 'ight have con!tituted their rea% !trength B faith in the 'a!!e! and the a i%it# to !tand on their own feet. +he# are afraid of the 'a!!e! who 0ut the' there3 @u!t a! the# are afraid of the con!ervative c%u ! who!e grandeur !tagger! their fee %e i'agination!. +o @u!tif# their co'ing to 0ower3 the# 'u!t need! !how the o%d ru%ing c%a!!e! that the# are not !i'0%# revo%utionar# u0!tart!. 4od for idJ No3 the# rea%%# de!erve ever# confidence ecau!e the# are %o#a%%# devoted to the church3 to the King3 to the Aou!e of =ord!3 to the !#!te' of tit%e!D that i! to !a#3 not !i'0%# to the !acro!anct 0rinci0%e of 0rivate 0ro0ert#3 ut to a%% the ru i!h of the "idd%e 1ge!. For the' to refu!e a vi!a to a revo%utionar# i! rea%%# a ha00# o00ortunit# to de'on!trate their re!0ecta i%it# once again. I a' ver# g%ad that I gave the' !uch an o00ortunit#. In due ti'e3 thi! wi%% e taken into account3 !ince3 in 0o%itic!3 a! in nature3 there i! no wa!te. One need! no great i'agination to 0icture "r. *%#ne!>! interview with hi! !u ordinate3 the chief of the 0o%itica% 0o%ice. 8uring the interview3 "r. *%#ne! fee%! a! if he were undergoing an e/a'ination3 and i! afraid that he wi%% not !ee' fir' enough to the e/a'iner3 or !tate!'an%ike or con!ervative enough. +hu! it need! %itt%e ingenuit# on the 0art of the chief of the 0o%itica% 0o%ice to 0ro'0t "r. *%#ne! to a deci!ion that wi%% e greeted with fu%% a00rova% in the con!ervative 0a0er! ne/t da#. )ut the con!ervative 0re!! doe! not 'ere%# 0rai!e B it ki%%! with 0rai!e. It 'ock!. It doe! not take the trou %e to concea% it! di!dain for the 0eo0%e who !o hu' %# !eek it! a00rova%. No one wi%% !a#3 for in!tance3 that the Daily (/2ress e%ong! to the 'o!t inte%%igent in!titution! in the wor%d. 1nd #et thi! 0a0er find! ver# cau!tic word! to e/0re!! it! a00rova% of the =a or govern'ent for !o carefu%%# 0rotecting the 9!en!itive "ac8ona%d? fro' the 0re!ence of a revo%utionar# o !erver ehind hi! ack. 1nd are the!e the 0eo0%e who are ca%%ed u0on to %a# the foundation! of a new hu'an !ociet#E No3 the# are on%# the 0enu%ti'ate re!ource of the o%d !ociet#. I !a# 90enu%ti'ate? ecau!e the u%ti'ate re!ource i! 0h#!ica% re0re!!ion. I 'u!t ad'it that the ro%%<ca%% of the we!tern Euro0ean de'ocracie! on the Cue!tion of the right of a!#%u' ha! given 'e3 a!ide fro' other thing!3 'ore than a few 'err# 'inute!. 1t ti'e!3 it !ee'ed a! if I were attending a 90an<Euro0ean? 0erfor'ance of a one<act co'ed# on the the'e of 0rinci0%e! of de'ocrac#. It! te/t 'ight have een written # )ernard $haw if the Fa ian f%uid that run! in hi! vein! had een !trengthened # even !o 'uch a! five 0er cent of 7onathan $wift>! %ood. )ut whoever 'a# have written the te/t3 the 0%a# re'ain! ver# in!tructive& -urope without a ;isa. +here i! no need to 'ention 1'erica. +he Hnited $tate! i! not on%# the !tronge!t3 ut a%!o the 'o!t terrified countr#. Aoover recent%# e/0%ained hi! 0a!!ion for fi!hing # 0ointing out the de'ocratic nature of thi! 0a!ti'e. If thi! e !o B a%though I dou t it B it i! at a%% event! one of the few !urviva%! of de'ocrac# !ti%% e/i!ting in the Hnited $tate!. +here the right of a!#%u' ha! een a !ent for a %ong ti'e. -urope and '#erica without a (isa. )ut the!e two continent! own the other three. +hi! 'ean! B The planet without a (isa.

On 'an# !ide! it ha! een e/0%ained to 'e that '# di! e%ief in de'ocrac# i! '# greate!t !in. Aow 'an# artic%e! and even ook! have een written a out thi!J )ut when I a!k to e given a rief o @ect<%e!!on in de'ocrac#3 there are no vo%unteer!. +he 0%anet 0rove! to e without a vi!a. 5h# !hou%d I e%ieve that the 'uch 'ore i'0ortant Cue!tion B the tria% etween the rich and 0oor B wi%% e decided with !trict o !ervance of the for'! and ritua%! of de'ocrac#E 1nd ha! the revo%utionar# dictator!hi0 0roduced the re!u%t! e/0ected of itE B I hear a Cue!tion. It wou%d e 0o!!i %e to an!wer it on%# # taking a reckoning of the e/0erience of the Octo er ,evo%ution and tr#ing to indicate it! future 0ro!0ect!. 1n auto iogra0h# i! no 0%ace for thi!3 and I wi%% tr# to an!wer the Cue!tion in a !0ecia% ook on which I had a%read# egun to work during '# !ta# in *entra% 1!ia. )ut I cannot end the !tor# of '# %ife without e/0%aining3 if on%# in a few %ine!3 wh# I adhere !o co'0%ete%# to '# o%d 0ath. +hat which ha! ha00ened in the 'e'or# of '# generation3 a%read# 'ature or a00roaching o%d age3 can e de!cri ed !che'atica%%# a! fo%%ow!& 8uring !evera% decade! B the end of the %a!t centur# and the eginning of the 0re!ent B the Euro0ean 0o0u%ation wa! eing !evere%# di!ci0%ined # indu!tr#. 1%% 0ha!e! of !ocia% education were do'inated # the 0rinci0%e of the 0roductivit# of %a or. +hi! #ie%ded !tu0endou! re!u%t! and !ee'ed to o0en u0 new 0o!!i i%itie! to 0eo0%e. )ut actua%%# it on%# %ed to war. It i! true that through the war hu'anit# ha! een a %e to convince it!e%f3 in the face of the crowing! of arue'ic 0hi%o!o0h#3 that it i! not degenerating after a%%D on the contrar#3 it i! fu%% of %ife3 !trength3 raver#3 enter0ri!e. +hrough the !a'e war3 it rea%i-ed it! technica% 0ower with un0recedented force. It wa! a! if a 'an3 to 0rove that hi! 0i0e! for reathing and !wa%%owing were in order3 had egun to cut hi! throat with a ra-or in front of a 'irror. 1fter the end of the o0eration! of 191T<1G3 it wa! dec%ared that fro' now on the highe!t 'ora% dut# wa! to care for the wound! which it had een the highe!t 'ora% dut# to inf%ict during the 0receding four #ear!. Indu!tr# and thrift were not on%# re!tored to their right!3 ut were 0ut into the !tee% cor!et! of rationa%i-ation. +he !o<ca%%ed 9recon!truction? i! directed # tho!e !a'e c%a!!e!3 0artie!3 and even individua%! who guided the de!truction. 5here a change of 0o%itica% rNgi'e ha! taken 0%ace3 a! in 4er'an#3 the 'en who 0%a# the %eading rF%e! in the direction of recon!truction are tho!e who 0%a#ed !econd and third rF%e! in guiding the de!truction. +hat3 !trict%# !0eaking3 i! the on%# change. +he war ha! !we0t awa# an entire generation3 a! if to create a reak in the 'e'or# of 0eo0%e! and to 0revent the new generation fro' noticing too c%o!e%# that it i! actua%%# engaged in re0eating what ha! een done efore3 on%# on a higher hi!torica% rung3 which i'0%ie! 'ore 'enacing con!eCuence!. +he working c%a!! of ,u!!ia3 under the %eader!hi0 of the )o%!hevik!3 'ade an atte'0t to effect a recon!truction of %ife that wou%d e/c%ude the 0o!!i i%it# of hu'anit#>! going through the!e 0eriodica% fit! of !heer in!anit#3 and wou%d %a# the foundation! of a higher cu%ture. +hat wa! the !en!e of the Octo er ,evo%ution. +o e !ure3 the 0ro %e' it ha! !et it!e%f ha! not #et een !o%ved. )ut in it! ver# e!!ence3 thi! 0ro %e' de'and! 'an# decade!. "oreover3 the Octo er ,evo%ution !hou%d e con!idered a! the !tarting<0oint of the newe!t hi!tor# of hu'anit# a! a who%e.

+oward the end of the +hirt# Year!> 5ar3 the 4er'an ,efor'ation 'u!t have a00eared the work of 'en who had roken out of a %unatic a!#%u'. +o a certain e/tent3 it rea%%# wa!& Euro0ean hu'anit# roken out of the 'edieva% 'ona!ter#. "odern 4er'an#3 Eng%and3 the Hnited $tate! and the 'odern wor%d in genera% wou%d never have een 0o!!i %e without the ,efor'ation with it! count%e!! victi'!. If victi'! are genera%%# to e 0er'itted B ut who!e 0er'i!!ion cou%d one a!kE B it i! certain%# victi'! that 'ove hu'anit# forward. +he !a'e can e !aid of the French ,evo%ution. +hat narrow<'inded3 reactionar# 0edant3 +aine3 i'agined that he wa! 'aking a 'o!t 0rofound di!cover# when he e!ta %i!hed the fact that a few #ear! after the e/ecution of =oui! .(I3 the French 0eo0%e were 0oorer and 'ore unha00# than under the o%d rNgi'e. )ut the who%e 0oint of the 'atter i! that !uch event! a! the great French ,evo%ution cannot e viewed on the !ca%e of 9a few #ear!.? 5ithout the great revo%ution3 the entire new France wou%d never have een 0o!!i %e3 and +aine hi'!e%f wou%d !ti%% have een a c%erk in the !ervice of !o'e contractor of the o%d rNgi'e in!tead of eing a %e to %acken the revo%ution that o0ened a new career to hi'. 1 !ti%% greater hi!torica% 0er!0ective i! nece!!ar# to view the Octo er revo%ution. On%# ho0e%e!! du%%ard! can Cuote a! evidence again!t it the fact that in twe%ve #ear! it ha! not #et created genera% 0eace and 0ro!0erit#. If one ado0t! the !ca%e of the 4er'an ,efor'ation and the French ,evo%ution3 re0re!enting two different !tage! in the evo%ution of ourgeoi! !ociet#3 !e0arated fro' each other # a%'o!t three centurie!3 one 'u!t e/0re!! a'a-e'ent at the fact that a ackward and i!o%ated ,u!!ia twe%ve #ear! after the revo%ution ha! een a %e to in!ure for the 'a!!e! of the 0eo0%e a !tandard of %iving that i! not %ower than that e/i!ting on the eve of the war. +hat a%one i! a 'irac%e of it! kind. )ut of cour!e the !ignificance of the Octo er ,evo%ution doe! not %ie in that. +he revo%ution i! an e/0eri'ent in a new !ocia% rNgi'e3 an e/0eri'ent that wi%% undergo 'an# change! and wi%% 0ro a %# e re'ade anew fro' it! ver# foundation!. It wi%% a!!u'e an entire%# different character on the a!i! of the newe!t technica% achieve'ent!. )ut after a few decade! and centurie!3 the new !ocia% order wi%% %ook ack on the Octo er ,evo%ution a! the ourgeoi! order doe! on the 4er'an ,efor'ation or the French ,evo%ution. +hi! i! !o c%ear3 !o inconte!ta %# c%ear3 that even the 0rofe!!or! of hi!tor# wi%% under!tand it3 though on%# after 'an# #ear!. 1nd what of #our 0er!ona% fateE B I hear a Cue!tion3 in which curio!it# i! 'i/ed with iron#. Aere I can add ut %itt%e to what I have !aid in thi! ook. I do not 'ea!ure the hi!torica% 0roce!! # the #ard!tick of one>! 0er!ona% fate. On the contrar#3 I a00rai!e '# fate o @ective%# and %ive it !u @ective%#3 on%# a! it i! ine/trica %# ound u0 with the cour!e of !ocia% deve%o0'ent. $ince '# e/i%e3 I have 'ore than once read 'u!ing! in the new!0a0er! on the !u @ect of the 9traged#? that ha! efa%%en 'e. I know no personal traged#. I know the change of two cha0ter! of the revo%ution. One 1'erican 0a0er which 0u %i!hed an artic%e of 'ine acco'0anied it with a 0rofound note to the effect that in !0ite of the %ow! the author had !uffered3 he had3 a! evidenced # hi! artic%e3 0re!erved hi! c%arit# of rea!on. I can on%# e/0re!! '# a!toni!h'ent at the 0hi%i!tine atte'0t to e!ta %i!h a connection etween the 0ower of rea!oning and a govern'ent 0o!t3 etween 'enta% a%ance and the 0re!ent !ituation. I do not know3 and I never have3 of an# !uch connection. In 0ri!on3 with a ook or a 0en in '# hand3 I e/0erienced the !a'e !en!e of dee0 !ati!faction that I did at the 'a!!<'eeting! of the revo%ution. I fe%t the 'echanic! of 0ower

a! an ine!ca0a %e urden3 rather than a! a !0iritua% !ati!faction. )ut it wou%d 0erha0! e riefer to Cuote the good word! of !o'eone e%!e. On 7anuar# IQ3 191;3 ,o!a =u/e' urg wrote to a wo'an friend fro' 0ri!on& 9+hi! %o!ing one!e%f co'0%ete%# in the ana%itie! of dai%# %ife i! !o'ething that I genera%%# cannot under!tand or endure. $ee3 for e/a'0%e3 how 4oethe ro!e a ove 'ateria% thing! with a ca%' !u0eriorit#. 7u!t think of what he had to %ive through& the great French ,evo%ution3 which at near range 'u!t have !ee'ed a %ood# and utter%# ai'%e!! farce3 and then fro' 1;93 to 1G153 a continuou! !eCuence of war!. I do not de'and that #ou write 0oetr# a! 4oethe did3 ut hi! view of %ife3 the univer!a%it# of hi! intere!t!3 the inner har'on# of the 'an3 ever# one can create for hi'!e%f or at %ea!t !trive for. 1nd !hou%d #ou !a# that 4oethe wa! not a 0o%itica% fighter3 I 'aintain that it i! 0reci!e%# the fighter who 'u!t tr# to e a ove thing!3 or e%!e he wi%% get hi! no!e !tuck in a%% !ort! of ru i!h B of cour!e3 in thi! ca!e3 I a' thinking of a fighter in the grand !t#%e ...? )rave word!. I read the' for the fir!t ti'e the other da#3 and the# i''ediate%# rought the figure of ,o!a =u/e' urg c%o!er and 'ade her dearer to 'e than ever efore. In hi! view!3 hi! character3 hi! wor%d out%ook3 Proudhon3 that ,o in!on *ru!oe of !ocia%i!'3 i! a%ien to 'e. )ut Proudhon had the nature of a fighter3 a !0iritua% di!intere!tedne!!3 a ca0acit# for de!0i!ing officia% 0u %ic o0inion3 and fina%%#3 the fire of a 'an#<!ided curio!it# never e/tingui!hed. +hi! ena %ed hi' to ri!e a ove hi! own %ife3 with it! u0! and down!3 a! he did a ove a%% conte'0oraneou! rea%it#. On 10ri% IQ3 1G5I3 Proudhon wrote to a friend fro' 0ri!on& 9+he 'ove'ent i! no dou t irregu%ar and crooked3 ut the tendenc# i! con!tant. 5hat ever# govern'ent doe! in turn in favor of revo%ution eco'e! invio%a %eD what i! atte'0ted again!t it 0a!!e! over %ike a c%oud& I en@o# watching thi! !0ectac%e3 in which I under!tand ever# !ing%e 0ictureD I o !erve the!e change! in the %ife of the wor%d a! if I had received their e/0%anation fro' a oveD what o00re!!e! other!3 e%evate! 'e 'ore and 'ore3 in!0ire! and fortifie! 'eD how can #ou want 'e then to accu!e de!tin#3 to co'0%ain a out 0eo0%e and cur!e the'E 8e!tin# B I %augh at itD and a! for 'en3 the# are too ignorant3 too en!%aved for 'e to fee% anno#ed at the'.? 8e!0ite their !%ight !avor of ecc%e!ia!tica% e%oCuence3 tho!e are fine word!. I !u !cri e to the'.

'otes
1. 9Perha0! we !ha%% even arrive at the 0oint of granting "r. +rot!k# the de'ocratic right of a!#%u'.? (;igorous applause %ro# the #a5ority) I. +ran!cri er>! Note& *%#ne! !aid& 9In regard to what i! ca%%edPthe right of a!#%u'> thi! countr# ha! the right to grant a!#%u' to an# 0er!on who' it think! fit to ad'it a! a 0o%itica% refugee. On the other hand3 no a%ien ha! the right to c%ai' ad'i!!ion to thi! countr# if it wou%d e contrar# to the intere!t! of thi! countr# to receive hi'. eD $ee Aan!ard 0ar%ia'entar# record of 1G 7u%# 19I9.

)*+.