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There are varying degrees of “natural nurturing instincts” observed among Moms.
For some, nurturing children seems to come easily and naturally but, for others, it
may be a process of trial and error, reading books, and talking with friends and
relatives. The most important truth, however, is that love for our children does come
naturally. This love is a gift from God. “We love, because He first loved us.”(1 John 4:19)
Sometimes, though, manifesting this love is not always easy or clear cut.
There’s no doubt that I love my child deeply, but the loving can sometimes feel like
hard work. Outside pressures, internal conflicts, and unrealistic expectations can get
in my way. Since I cannot be a “perfect” Mom all of the time, how do I deal with the
realities of everyday Mothering?
1) Putting together a plan may help me deal with my Mother role. The
first step is to determine what I believe about being a Mom. The
following “bullets” list some of those beliefs:
• I can never be a “perfect” Mom.
• There are many different ways to nurture children, but loving them is the
most important thing.
• I cannot consistently deny my own needs and be a good Mom; however, to
some degree, I must die to my own desires when I become a Mom.
• God is with me, and I can pray to Him for help. I experience peace when I
pray (Phil 4:6, 7).
• I love my child so much that I desire to do what is best for him/her.
• The love I show towards my child isn’t always returned. The reciprocity (I love
you, you love me back, Fields, page 40) may not always be present.
• Mothering is not about me, how I perform, or how my child performs.
• In spite of any disappointment I have regarding my child’s behaviors, I am the
Mom, I love my child, every child is different, and God chose me to be the
Mom.
• My willingness, desire, and persistence in being a loving Mom are more
important than “getting it right.”
• All children are different, and new stages of development happen quickly. One
day I may think that the whining will never end, and then the next day, it’s
gone. It is important that I don’t despair, because my child will grow up fast.
• Parenting skills and child rearing techniques are not as important as investing
time in loving my child and nurturing my relationship with God. As I deepen
my relationship with God, I feel His love abound. In turn, I want to offer that
love to my child. And, at the same time, I’m able to show my love towards God
by loving my child.
• I cannot be the Mom I want to be through my own strength, will, and ability. I
need God in my life, and the support of others like relatives, friends, ‘Moms
and More’, etc. The Moms and More key Bible verse is Titus 2:4,5: . . . that they (older
women) may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to
be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word
of God may not be dishonored.” Our prayer is that all the young Moms in this
Tuesday morning program will feel encouraged and loved by the “older”
women who are participating with you.
2) Forming a plan for everyday Mothering based upon my beliefs (bullet
points above):