LostintheWind Chapter1 Islowlywokeupwithmyfaceplasteredtomypillowandslappedthealarmoff.Great,I'vebeen slobberingagaininmysleep.Iwipedmyhandacrossmymouthandswipedatmypillow,got up,andpaddedtothebathroom.Forthelastcoupleofweeks,mysleeppatternshaddefinitely beenwacky.Iwaseithersleepinglikethedeadortossingallnightlong. Iwalkedintothekitchentoputsomecoffeeonandlookedattheemptycounter.Mylittlebuddy Rexwasn'tthereanymoreanditwasoneofthehardestpartsofmymorningsthesedays. Therewasnobodytheretosaygoodmorningtoandthatmattersalot.Iturnedandlookedatthe fridge,thenatthecalendar.Ohcrap!Ijustrememberedtodaywasmybirthday. AlittleoveramonthagoIhadwokenuponemorningthinkingaboutmybirthdayandseriously ponderingthestateofmylifeandwherethatjourneyledmeisstillpainfultoday.Itwasn'tthatit wasallbad.ItwasjustthemostdifficultonethatIhadeverendured.Thekidnappings, shootings,andcarbombsjustdidn'tseemsobadwhenIthoughtabouttheincrediblelossand thentherewardIhadgained.

Joehadcheatedonme,Ihadlandedinthebatcaveandcrashedandburnedinthreedays worsethananyoneofmycars.IhadfledtoVirginiaanddiscoveredawonderfulmanandfound newthingsinmyself,andthenitalldisintegratedrightinfrontofmyeyes. Rexdidn'tmakeiteither. Icarriedmycoffeetothebathroomandshowered.WhenIgotout,asuddenwaveofnauseahit meandIslammedtheliduponthetoiletandvomited.Jeez,IneededtogoonRanger'sdietfor awhile.Minewasn'tagreeingwithmelately. Idressedandwenttotheparkinglot,hoppedintothebestusedcarIeverhad,mynew2009 LexusGS300,andheadedtoRangeman.Ifingerwavedtothecameraasusualandheadedto thecontrolroom.Isaidgoodmorningtomycoworkersonthewaytomynewoffice.Onthe doorwasasignthatsaid"Bombshell."Ismiled. BecauseoftheeventsofthelastmonthIhadendedupafullandlegalpartnerofRangemanand itseemedtobeworkingoutwellsofar.ItwasallbecauseofJohnNashandhismotherJustine Nash. JohnhadbeenkilledwhilevisitingTrentonwithmewhenadrugcrazedkidhadfiredbulletsina dinerandoneofthosebulletshadricochetedandhithiminthetemple.Hisdeathwas instantaneousandsopainfulforthepeopleleftbehind.Wehadatooshortandwonderfully beautifulromanceandImissedhimterribly.Hehadbeenoneofthefinestandmostgivingmen thatIhadeverknown,period. IwasgiftedalegacyfromNashbyhismotherintheformofalargecheck.Rangerhadaccepted mypartnershipproposalandwewerecurrentlytryingtorepairourpersonalrelationshiponeday atatime. Isnuggledintomynewleatherofficechairandbeganworkingonsomeboringsupplycontracts. Tankpoppedhisheadinandremindedmeofameetingat1100hours."Okaybuddy."

Iarrivedattheconferenceroomonlevel4aboutfiveminutesearly.Rangerwinkedatmeand motionedformetocomesitnexttohim.Themeetingwasaboutadistractionjobfortomorrow tonight. Tank,Lester,Bobby,andIwereinattendance.Rangersaid,"WehaveacontractforanFTA (failuretoappearincourt)bythenameofDirkHancock."Iheardsnorts.Rangereyedeveryone intheroom."Don'tunderestimatethisman.He'sdangerousandhehasahighbond.He'san expornkingtype,helikeshisdrugsandveryyoungwomen.He'saccusedofcausingtwo femaledeathsandmaybethedeathofadrugdealer." "HewentFTAyesterdayandwearegoingtoapprehendhiminoneofhisfavoriteplaces tomorrownight.Helikestogambleandhelikeshorses.WearegoingtoMonmouthPark Racetrack.Stephanieisgoingtobedressedtogethisattentionandlurehimtous."Irolledmy eyesandsnortedatRanger.Isaid,"OrmaybeIcouldjustdresslikeahorseandyoucandress likethehorse'sass."Heraisedhiseyebrowsatme."Dismissed,"hesaid.Theguyskindoftippy toedoutoftheroom. "Babe,what'stheproblem?" "What'stheproblem?Oh,Idon'tknow,onceaslutalwaysaslut!" Hesighed,"Areyouokay,youlookalittlegreen." ThenIgrabbedmystomachandbarfedalloverhisboots.IheardhimcallingBobbyandEllafor help.BobbycameinandEllabroughtacoolwashclothandtowelsandbegancleaningthe mess.Igroaned,Iputthewashclothtomyheadandwipedmymouth. "Jeez,I'mreallysosorry." Bobbysaid,"HowlonghaveyoubeensickSteph?" "Likethis?AboutacoupleofdaysIguess." Helookedatmeandsaid,"I'mgoingtotakeasmallbloodsample.Thatokay?"Inodded. RangerhadmelyingdownonthesofainhisofficebecauseIwasstillreluctanttovisithis apartmentonseven.Amonthago,IhadbeenlivingonsevenwithhimandthenIyankedthe tiger'stailandIgothurtupthere.Ihadforgivenhimalready,butsomeofthememoriesand feelingswerestillprettyraw.Ihadbeensnarkyandbaitinghimlatelyfornorealreason. IdozedforalittlewhileandthenBobbycamebackin.Hesaid,"Letmehelpyoutoyouroffice Steph."Rangerraisedaneyebrow,butdidn'tsayanything. Whenwegottomyoffice,Bobbyshutthedoor. "IhavesomenewsforyouSteph.' Ranger'sPOV ThepastcoupleofmonthshadbeenharderthanjustaboutanybattleIhadbeenin.Ibrought Stephaniehometobemineafteralltheseyearslikeafuckingpossessionandtriedtobendher tomywilllikeIdomymenandalmostlostherforever. Ihaveneverlostmyshitstateside.Stephaniehasalwaysbroughtoutsurprisingthingsand uncomfortablefeelingsinme.TheangerIhadfeltinonepassionatemomenthadshockedboth ofus. BeforeIcouldlockitdownandendit,IhadhurtandhumiliatedmyBabeandscaredheraway fromme.

Itwastoopainfultothinkabouttheweeksthatfollowed.ButIwillneverforgetthephone conversationthatshatteredmyfortitudeandchangedmeforever: "GoodmorningBabe,.I'mcheckingintoseeifyou'reokay." "I'mfineandyoudon'tneedtokeepcheckingonme.ItoldyouthatI'mnotyourresponsibility anymore.IthinknowIwantyoutostopcallingme." "Why?" "I'minarelationshipnowandIfeelsafeandI'mfeelingbetteraboutmyselfeveryday." "IfoundsomeonewhowouldneverhurtmeortakewhatIwasn'twillingtogive.Hecooksforme, takesmeshopping,takesmeondatesandopensdoorsforme,andhe'snotaskingfor anythinginreturn.Hejustwantstomakemehappy.He'safuckingbigdeparturefromyours andMorelli'sgiantegos,andhe'sgotabiggerpackagethanthebothofyou." Therewassilenceontheline. "Steph,I'manassandmyegoandpasthashurtyou,whichwasalwayssomethingIhadtriedto protectyoufrom.I'maskingyoutoforgivemeforwhatIdid.Mylifeisnotthesamewithoutyou init.IloveyousomuchBabe." "GoodbyeRanger." Bysomestrangetwistofdestiny,thatrelationshiphadendedviolentlyandtragicallyfortheboth ofthemjustdayslater.AgoodmandiedandStephanieisbackherewithmeasmylegalpartner inRangeman. Shehasforgivenmebecausethatisthekindofpersonthatsheis.Sheneverlikesseeingany onesufferandeventreatsherskipswithcompassion. MyBabehaschangedingoodwayssinceshecamebackandI'mproudofher.Shehaslearned partsofmybusinesswithamazingspeedandunderstanding.Shetakeshernewpositionvery seriouslyandhasearnednotjustlovefromallofmymen,butalsogenuinerespect. Stephaniehasaconfidencenowthatsheneverpossessedbefore.Iwouldlikenothingmore thantoshowherhowmuchIloveher,putaringonherfinger,andspendtherestofmylife makingherhappyandgivingherwhateverherheartdesires. However,theheartthatlovedmebeforeasmuchIdidherdidnotcomebackwithher.She holdsmeatarmslength. Ineededtogivehertimeandatoneformyawfulmistake. Iwasworriedabouthertoday.ShehadbeenillthelastcoupleofdaysandBobbyhadtaken somebloodfromherandwasinherofficerightnow. WhenIgotclosetothedoorIheardheryellingatBobby: "OMIGOD!Thiscan'tbehappening.Ohshit,ohshit!No,no,no,noyou'rewrong!Iamnot!" "Aretoo,"Bobbysaid "Dammit.Please,pleasedon'ttellRanger!" Iopenedthedoor."Don'ttellmewhat?" Bothlookedupatmelikedeerinheadlights.Bobbyswallowedandstartedtoleave. "JustaminuteBrown.Reportrightnow!" Stephaniecameoutofherchairandglaredatme. "YouleaveBobbyaloneandyoucheckyouregoandthatmachoshitatthedoorbeforeyou comeintomyoffice!" "Wewerehavingaprivateconversationandit'snoneofyourdamnbusinessManoso!"

Itookadeepbreath."YouaremybusinessBabe.I'mworriedaboutyou." "IjusthaveastomachbugandI'llbefine." Thenshegrabbedherbagandwalkedpastmeoutthedoor. IlookedatBobby."Onthematsat0800Brown." ThenIturnedandwentuptomyapartment. Stephanie'sPOV DamnBobbyandhisstupidbloodtest!DamnRangerandhisstupidESP! IhadlefttheofficeafterthediscussionwithBobbyandtheconfrontationwithRanger.Iwasnow inmycarheadedoutofthecity,runningawayagain. Wasn'tthistheissueIwastryingtodealwithamonthago?Iwantedtogrowupandbemore responsibleandfulfilled.Iwasfilledallright,butnotexactlywithwhatIhadinmind.Ipulledoff andturnedthecararound.Damn!Ihadabusinesstorunandpeopledependingonmenow. Thinkaboutwhatyou'redoingSteph.Okay,regardlessofthesituation,myjobwassecurenow andIhadmyfriendsandfamilytobackmeup.Shit!SuckitupStephyoulaidintwobedsnow dealwithit! TBC Chapter2 IdrovebacktoRangemanandpulledintothegarageandfingerwavedatthecameraagain,took adeepbreathandgotontheelevator.BobbywastherewhenIgotoff. "YouokaySteph?" "NO!Youandyourstupidlittlebloodtest.Whydidn'tyoujustmindyourownbeeswax?" "IhavenewsforyouBombshell.Thisain'tsomethingyoucanhideforverylong." "Thisisbetweenyouandmeandnobodyelse,"andIeyeballedhimgood."Understood?" Hesighed,"YesBoss."Ismirkedathim. Mystomachwasgrowlingafterbeingemptiedtwicethatmorning.Iwenttotheloungeandgota sandwichandadrinkandheadedtotherecroom.WhenIwalkedin,abigblackwallofguys yelled,"HAPPYBIRTHDAYBOMBER!" Wow,Iwassurprised.Ellarolledoutabigbirthdaycakewithcandleslitandtheguysdemanded thatImakeawish.IwasthinkingIreallywishIcouldundomylittlesecretandIwishIhadNash back.LittledidIknowthatwishwouldsoonhaverealmeaning.ThenIfakesmiledateveryone andblewoutthecandles.ItoldthemallthatIreallyappreciatedthemthinkingaboutme. Lestersaid,"Youhavesomegiftstoopen,gorgeous."HehandedmeapackageandIpulledthe paperoffandopenedtheboxanditwasabeautifulleatherbriefcasewithmyinitialsgildedintoit. Isaid,"GuysthisisperfectandIneededone." ThenHalhandedmeanenvelopeandithada$100giftcardforMacy'sinit."Wow,Iloveyou guys!"Outofthecornerofmyeye,IsawRangercomeinandplaceapackageontherecroom diningtable.Ilookedatitanditjiggled.Ireachedoutandtoucheditanditmovedagain.Iopened thetopoftheboxandlookedinandapairoflittlebrowneyeslookedupatmeandIheard,"Yip!" Ireachedinandpulledoutafluffylittleblackandwhitepuppyandhuggedhimtome.

HelickedmyfaceandIgiggled.Hewasbeautiful. Rangersaid,"He'sabordercollie.Theyaresupposedtobethesmartestbreedofdog.Theylike tobekeptbusyandliketobetrained.Ifiguredwecoulduseamascotaroundhereandhewould haveplentyofvolunteerstokeephimoccupiedandhappy.Whatdoyouthink?" "Ithinkhe'ssosweet.Ilovetheidea!"Isaid. "Youneedtogivehimaname,Babe."Ithoughtforaminute.John'smiddlenamehadbeen Jacob.Isaid,"WhataboutJake?" "Jakeitis,"andRangerkissedme.IgiggledbecauseJakewaswigglingtryingtoreachbothof usandlickourfaces. Ihuggedandkissedeveryonethenweatelunchandhadbirthdaycake.IleftJakewithsomeof theguysandheadedbacktomyoffice.Onthewaymymothercalled. "Hi,Mom" "HappyBirthdayStephanie.AreyouandRangercomingfordinner?" "NoMom.I'mnotfeelingwelltoday,I'msorry.Ifyoudon'tmindI'llcomelaterintheweek." "But,it'syourbirthdayandImadeyourfavorite." "JustnotfeelingwellMom." "Alrightthen,butyourfatherandgrandmotherwillbedisappointed." "I'msorry.I'lltalktoyoulater." Ireallywasn'tinthemoodtocelebrateanything. IthoughtaboutRanger.Weweren'ttalkingmuchitwasmorelikewewerehavinga decompressionperiodafteranoutofcontrolrollercoasterride.Aftertheshocksetinofthe eventsthathadtakenplace,webothjustneededtimetothink.Hehadgraciouslyhadmynew officecommissionedanddecoratedandsteppedback.Ihadbeenasnarkybitchlatelytohim. I'mnotsureifit'sthatI'mreallystillangrywithhimorifit'stheotherthing.Ican'tevensaythe word. Iworkedonafewmorecontractsinmyofficeandthencalleditaday.Rangermetmeinthe hallway. "Areyougoingtoyourparentshousetonight?"heasked. "No,I'mnotfeelingverywell." "HowaboutIbringapizzaandyouletmestay.IjustwanttobethereincaseyouandJakeneed meduringthenight." Ithoughtaminute.Iwastiredandthatsoundedprettygood."Okay,aslongasyoumind yourself.I'lltakeJakewithmenow." Hekissedme."IboughtabagforyouandJakewithsomethingsinityou'llneed.Letmegoget it." Rangerhadboughtsomefood,bowls,andavarietyoflittlebonesandchewtoys.Hehadbought somedoggiebedstoscatteraroundRangemanandoneformyapartment.Itwouldbeniceto haveanewbuddyinmyapartmentagain.IhadreallymissedMorelli'sdogBobsincewebroke upandIstillmissedRex. JoehadbeenthefirstlossIsufferedafewweeksago.Joewantedawifeandfamily,ironically somethingthatIcouldn'tgivehimatthetime.Hehadgottenfrustratedandcheatedonme.He wasn'treallyabadguyanddeservedtobehappy.Hewasstillinmylifethoughwewerestill friends.

Jakekepttryingtocrawlonmeallthewaytotheapartment.Hewasafriendlylittlething.I walkedhimaroundoutsidetodohispuppybusinessandthentookhimuptotheapartment.Iput hisbowlsdownandfilledthem,scatteredsomelittlechewtoysaroundandthenputthebedin mybedroom.WhileIwaswaitingforRangermyphonerang.ItwasJohnNash'smotherJustine. "HiMrs.Nash,howareyou?" "I'mfineStephanie.YoucancallmeJustine.Howareyou?" "PrettygoodIthink.TodaywasmybirthdayandIgotanewpuppyasagift.MyhamsterRexdied rightafterweburiedhimthedayNashwasItwasasadday." "Iknowit'sstilldifficultdear.Ithasn'treallybeenthatlong." "InamedthepuppyJakeafterNash'smiddlename.Isthatalrightwithyou?" "Ithinkthatissweet,whatkindofdogishe?" "He'sablackandwhitebordercollie,supposedtobeareallysmartbreed." "Ihopehe'sgoodcompanyforyou.IheardfromTravisandthefoundationisdoingwonderfully. Hesaysthatthedonationshavealreadyhelpedsomanychildren.I'msoproudofyou.Iknowwe don'treallyknoweachotherthatwell,butIkindofthinkofyouasadaughter.Doesthatmake youuncomfortable?" "Notatall,youdon'tknowmymother.Icoulduseabackup." Justinelaughed."Well,Ijustwantedtocheckonyou.Youkeepintouch.Loveyoudear. Goodbye." Jeez,Iwantedtocry.ShewasaboutthekindestladynexttoEllathatIhadevermet.Nashhad beentheperfectpackageheevenwouldhavecomewiththeperfectmotherinlaw.Ihad wantedtodosomethingwiththemoneyshegavemeforNash.Ifoundoutthathisfavorite charitywasonethatprovidedhelpforautistickids.HisgoodfriendTravisParkerhadanautistic sonwhomNashhadloved.TogetherwehadsetupafoundationinJohn'snameandJustine, Ranger,andIhadsentasubstantialamountoffundstogetitstarted.Traviswasdoingagreat jobgettingthemoneyouttofamilieswhoneededhelpfortheirkids. HectorandSilvio,twoofoursmartestcomputerwizardsatRangeman,hadcreatedabeautiful websiteforthefoundationanddonationshadstartedtotricklein. Iheardalittleknock,lookedthroughthepeepholeandopenedthedoor.IlookedatRangerbug eyed."Youactuallyknocked?" Hegrinned,"MyhandsarefullandI'mtryingtochange,remember?" Igrabbedthepizzaandtookittothekitchen.Hefollowedmeandputsomebeerinthefridge, grabbingacouplebeforeheclosedthedoor.Ilookedatthebeer."I'lljusthaveasoda,"Isaid. Rangerraisedaneyebrowatme. "Sensitivestomachtoday."Igotussomeplatesandwegrabbedsomepizzaandsatonthe couch. NothinggetsbyRanger.Hesaid,"Areyousureyoucan'tsharewithmewhatyouandBobby discussedtoday?"Ohshit. "StopbeingsuchabusybodyRanger.Itoldyouitwasnothing,Ihaveastomachbug,"Ilied throughmyteeth. "Whatdidyoujustcallme?"hegrinned. Ichangedthesubject."JustineNashcalled." Hesaid,"She'sanicelady.Ilikeher.Howisshedoing?"

"Shesoundsokay.Shejustlostheronlysonandshe'scallingtoseehowI'mdoing.Ireally crappedoutinthemotherdepartment.Whydidn'tIgetoneofthose?" Rangerchuckledatthat. "Thefoundationisdoingreallywellalready." Hesaid,"Iknow,I'vebeenkeepinganeyeonitsinceit'snew,incaseyouandTravisneeded somehelp.But,you'rebothdoingagreatjob.ProudofyouBabe!" AboutthattimelittleJakewiggledover,raisedhistailanddroppedadoodleonRangersboot.I stifledagiggle,"Atthisrateofloss,youbettercallEllaandtellhertobuyyousomemoreboots." Hegrinnedandpinchedme."Ow!"Hesaid,"Igotthis,"andleftwiththeoffendingboottocleanit. IwhisperedtoJake,"Thatwasagoodonelittlebuddy,"andpickedhimupandhuggedhim.He wiggledinmyarmsandjumpedupandgavemeabunchoflittledoggiekisses. Jakewokeusupinthemiddleofthenightcrying.Rangerpickedhimupandtookhimoutagain andthensnuggledbackinnexttomeandwewentbacktosleep. Earlythenextmorningmyoffendingbodypart,mystomach,wokemeupandIbarelymadeitto thebathroomintime.Rangercameintoholdmyheadandputacoldragtoit. Hesaid,"IthinkyoushouldstayhometodayBabe.IcanhaveEllasendyousomefoodandI'll comebacktonighttostayagain." Igroaned.Shit!Thiswasgoingtogoonfordaysandmaybeweeks.Iwasn'treadytotellhimor anybodyforthatmatterandIcouldn'tstayhomeeveryday.Thatwouldreallydrawattentiontomy problem. "No,Ialreadyfeelbetterafterthrowingup.Mustbegettingridofwhateverisbotheringme,"Ilied. "Wehavethatdistractionjobtonighttoo.IthinkI'llbefine."Again,hecockedaneyebrowupand lookedatme."Uh,I'mgonnagetintheshowernow." Igrabbedasexypantsoutfitforthedistractionjobandbaggeditandwelefttheapartmentwith Jake.Ispentthedaydoingpaperworkinafog.MysweetMerryMenhadbeencomingtomy officetogetJakeandtakehimoutthroughouttheday. Myappetitewasnotsogreat.Iwenttotheloungeandgotasodaandsomecrackersabout lunchtime.About1600hours,asRangerwouldsay,hecametotellmetogetreadytogotothe track. TBC Chapter3 Idressedinawhitewraparoundblousewithapushupbraandlotsofcleavage,blackslacks withawideblackbelt,and4inchblackpeeptoeFMPs.Itoppeditoffwithredlipstickandlotsof mascaraforcourage. IwenttoRanger'sofficeandopenedthedoor."Let'sgobigboy." Hiseyessmoldered."I'mhavingindecentthoughtsaboutyou,Babe.You'rebeautiful." Thatgotasmile."Flatterymightgetyoueverywhere,Mr.Manoso." Hegotupandputhisarmsaroundmeandkissedmyneck. "IlovehowyoufeelinmyarmsStephanie.Ifyou'refeelinguptoitlatermaybeIcouldshowyou howmuch." Weneededachangeofsubject."GettheteamRanger.Let'sdothis."

Wearrivedattheracetrackbyabout1800hoursRangertime.Ihadamicinmycleavageandan earpiece.LesterandHalweremytailsandweheadedtothebettingarea.Iwashangingaround lookingforourguywhenIspottedhimjustplacingabetandheadingtowardthepaddockareaof thepark.Ifollowedhim.Hewasevidentlygettingalookathispicksastheywerewalkingand exercising. GrandmaMazurlikestolookatthehorsesinthepaddocksbeforesheplacesabet.Shealways betsontheonesthatrelievethemselvesbeforearace.Shesaystheyrunfaster. Iftheydoanumbertwothenthey'reasurebet.Sheprobablyhasapointthere. IwalkedupbesideHancockandsaid,"Iwanttoplaceabet.Whatdoyousuggest?" Helookedmeupanddownandaslowsmilestartedtospreadacrosshisface."Ifyouwanta surethingsexygirlyoucanputyourmoneyonme.Wecanskiptheracesandyoucancome homewithme." Yuck,Ithought.Iwasgettingreadytospeakwhenalargeoldermanlookedacrossthepaddock atmeandsaid,"Wellifitisn'tthe"BombshellBountyHunter."Hegavemeahugegrinandoh shit!Irecognizedhim.ItwasMr.AntonioAulisi,theelderlymobsterIhadpickedupwithLulaa whileback.Hancockcuthiseyestomeandglared. OhBoy!Ididn'twasteasecondIwasontherun.IranintothehorsestablesthinkingIcouldfind aplacetohide.IheardHancocknotfarbehindme.Irantothebackandopenedagateand crouchedbehindahorse.ThehorsewasaggitatedandnotveryhappyIwasthere.Inmy earpieceIheardRangeraskingmetoreport. Icouldn'treportunlessIwantedtogivemyselfaway.Rangerwassaying,"Steph,LesterandHal havelosteyecontact,report!"ThenIsawmovementnexttomeandthatbighorsewhosebuttI waskneelingbehindraisedhistailandbrokewindtimesinfinity.Ididn'tthinkitwasevergoingto end.Iheardoneoftheguyssay,"Whatthefuckwasthat?" Igaggedandwhispered,"Horsefart!"Iheardguffawsoflaughterthroughmyearpiece. Isaid,"I'mstuckinthestablebehindahorse'sass,Ranger!Comeandgetmedammit!" Moreguffawsoflaughter. ThenIheardavoiceoutsidethestall.Hancocksaid,"getyourassoutheresweetcheeks,We havesomeunfinishedbusiness." Thenanothervoicesaid,"Iknowwhoyouareandifyouwanttokeepyourmoneymakingbulge you'regonna'putthatpiecedownniceandslow.Comeoutfrombehindthatbangtail(race horse)sister,Igotyoucovered." IslowlyroseupandwalkedoutofthestallandtherewasMr.AulisiholdingagunonHancock.I said,anervous"thankyou,IguessIoweyouone."Aslowsmilespreadacrosshisface.Uhoh!I thought.BehindhimagrinningRangerandtheguyswalkedup. RangerslappedcuffsonHancockandhandedhimovertoHalandLester.Heturnedaroundand shookMr.Aulisi'shand.Mr.Aulisisaid,"IfIhadknownyouwereworkingtoots,Iwouldn'thave blownyourcover.GettingyououtofthathorsestallwastheleastIcoulddo."Igrinnedathim andsaid,"Eh,Whattyagonna'do?"Hechuckledandkissedmeonthecheek."Ilikeyoudoll. Yougotfuckin'balls,"andhewinkedatme. WewentbacktoRangemanandpickedupJake.RangergrabbedabagoffoodEllahadleftfor usandwewenttomyapartment.IfedlittleJakeandweateatthetable. Rangersaid,"YoudidgoodtonightBabe.IthinkAulisihastakenquiteaninterestinyou."

"Ithinkhe'sokay.Ikindoflikehim.He'sabouttheonlyskipinmyhistorythatneverattackedme orthreatenedmefortakinghiminandwetrickedhimintocomingwithus,"Isaid.Ranger chuckledatthatmemory. Afterwecleanedupdinner,IheadedofftothebedroomtochangeandRangergrabbedmyhand andpulledmebacktohim.Heputhishandsinmyhairandgavemeaseductivekissonthe sideofmymouthandthenbrushedhisfingeracrossmycheekandlips.Hestuckhisthumb betweenmylipsandwhispered,"LetmeinStephanie."Thenheputhismouthonmineand kissedmewithsuchpassionmykneeswenttojelly.HaveImentionedthatRangercankiss?He unwrappedmyblouseandreachedformybraclaspandIgrabbedhishand. "Notyet."Ipushedawayfromhimandgrabbedatshirtonthewaytothebathroom. Ichangedandsatonthesideofthetub.Notusuallybeingonetoconsidermoraldilemmasthat closely,Icouldn'tfigureoutexactlywhatIwasfeeling.Ihad,afterall,prettymuchbeeninlove withthreemenatonetime.IhaveasituationthatIdon'tknowhowtodealwithandhavingsex withRangerrightnowjustfeelswrong. Isighedheavilyandleftthebathroomtocrawlinbed.Iheardthedooropenalittlelaterand RangercameintotellmethathehadtakenJakeout.Heasked,"IsitalrightifIstay?" "Yes,Rangerwe'reastrangepair.We'vebeensleepinginthesamebedforyearsmostly withoutsex.Getin."Hedroppedhisclothes,crawledinandpulledmetohim. "You'reworththewaitBabe,Iloveyou." Ranger'sPOV IwashopingthatmyBabewouldletmemakelovetoherlastnightbutIunderstand.Isn'tthatthe reasonI'mleavingtoday? Ilayawakemostofthenightjustholdingherandmemorizingthesmellofherhairandthe uniquesmellofherbody.Ihadlistenedtoherbreathingandthelittlesnoresshemakeswhen shelaysonherbackspreadeagledonthebed.Shedoesn'tstaythatwaylong.Shealways comesbacktomeandcentersherselfontopofmychestandwrapsherlegswithmine.God, howIlovethiswoman. Ieasedmyselffromherandoutofbed.Iplacedaletterandlittleboxonthenightstand.Ileaned closedtoherandkissedhersweetface.Iwhispered,"Estafania,Tueresmivida(youaremy life).Sintinosoynada(withoutyouIamnothing). Teamotanto.Estoyapesadumbradoquelelastimo.Ustedsignificatantoami.(Iloveyouso much.IamsorrythatIhurtyou.Youmeansomuchtome). ThenIgaveJakeascratchbehindtheearandIleftherapartment. Stephanie'sPOV Iwokeupearlywithmystomachpitchingagain.IamgoingtodiebeforethisisoverIthought beforeIslammedthelidofthetoiletupyetagainandretched. Iwashedmyfaceandbrushedmyteethandwenttoflopbackintobed.Rangerwasgoneand therewasaboxonmynightstand.Iopenedtheboxandwasshocked.Itwasabeautifulwhite goldnecklacewithabigdiamondinthemiddleandsurroundedbybluesapphires.

TherewasanenvelopethereandIpickeditupandopenedit: DearBabe, Youdeservesomuchmorethanjustthisnecklace.Icanpicturehowbeautifulitwilllookonyou. IthoughtthesapphireswouldcomplimentyourblueeyesthatIlovesomuch. I'mleavingthismorningtogo"inthewind."Idon'tknowhowlongthatIwillbegone.Itrustyou andTanktorunthecompanywhileI'mgone.I'msoproudofyou. Iwillbethinkingofyoueveryday.Teamo',Estafania. Carlos IgrabbedtheclosestclothesIcouldputmyhandsonandgrabbedJakeandmybagandranout oftheapartment.IputmypedaltotheLexusmetalandprayedIwouldn'tgetaticket.Ikey fobbedthegaragegateopenandslidmycartoastop. TherewasanSUVgettingreadytoleave.Ibangedonthedarkwindow.Lesterwasdrivingand Rangerwasinthepassengerseat. "GetoutRanger!" HeslowlyopenedthedoorandgotoutandIranaroundtostandinfrontofhim. "Howcanyoujustleavewithouttellingme!I'mtryingtotrustyouagain.Wearepartners dammit!" "Stephanie,WhenIvolunteeredforthisassignment,IthoughtIwasdoingtherightthing.I thoughtgivingyousometimewouldhelpus." "Whatdoyoumeanvolunteered?Youdidn'thavetotakethejob?Whoisgoingwithyou, Lester?" "No,I'maloneonthisone.Theyneededintelligenceandamarksmanandthat'sallIcantellyou. ItookthejobforatonementBabe.Toputspacebetweenusandtrytowashawaymyguilt." "What?Youthinkputtingyourlifeatriskfornogoodreasonwillhelpus?" "IjustfoundoutI'mpregnantandIneedyouherewithme!" Hisfacewentfrommochalattetoalmostbeige.HegrabbedthedooroftheSUVandputhis headagainstit.Thenhereachedouthisarmformeandpulledmeagainsthim.Ifelthimputting uphiswall.Hereleasedmesuddenlyandsetmeawayfromhim. "I'llmakesurethatyourlookedafter.Ihavetogo." ThenhegotbackintheSUVandtheydroveaway.Isatdownonthegaragefloorandsobbed.A littlesofthandreachedforminetohelpmeup."Comedear.Youarenotaloneandhewillcome backtoyou.Helovesyousomuch."ItwasmysaviorintheformofalittlelatinladynamedElla. TBC Chapter4 Thedaywasawfulandawkward.Myrevelationoncamerahadcausedeveryoneinthebuilding tobecomeuncomfortableandsilent.WhenLestergotback,Ifinallycalledameetingforevery onetoattendintherecroombecauseitwasthebiggestroom. "Gentleman,ourleaderis'inthewind'onamission.Idon'tknowhowlonghewillbegone.Some ofyouknowthatIannouncedthatI'mexpecting.WithRangergonethisisgoingtobeadifficult timeformeandIwouldliketoaskyoutorespectmyprivacyandnotdiscussthiswithanyone otherthanthoseofusinthisbuilding.Canyoudothisformeguys?"

Godblesseveryone,theyallnodded."SureSteph,NoproblemBombshell,Whateverwecando foryouGorgeous,Wegotyourback!" "Iloveyouguys,"Isaid.Theyallkissedandhuggedmeandofferedcongratulations. Iwenttomyofficeandshuffledaroundpapersforhalfthemorning.Lesterpoppedhisheadin beforenoonandsaid,"Let'sgotoShorty'sforpizza,gorgeous." Wegotatableintheback.LestersitswithhisbacktothewalllikeRanger.Ithinkthat'sanArmy Rangerthing,"Alwaysbeawareofyoursurroundings." Lesterasked,"Howareyou,anybetter?" "Iwish." Thewaitresscamethenandtookourorder. "I'mgoingtobesickforawhileandRangerisgoneandindanger." Helookedconcerned."ThisisalmostmorethanIcanhandlerightnow,Lester." "Gorgeous,hewasfuckingblownaway.Lesterbrokeoutinabigwolfgrin.Hetotallylovesyou." "Well,whydidheleaveme?Ishegivingupalready?" "No,heispunishinghimself.Ididn'tknowhewoulddosomethinglikethis.Theonlythingthat concernsmeisthathewentalone.Wenormallytakeabrotherormoreasateam.Don't underestimatehim.he'stough.Ithinkit'sgreatyou'rehavingababy!Ican'twait!I'mgoingtobe anuncle!" "Shhh,loweryourvoice.I'mnotreallyplanningontellinganyoneelseforawhile.Iwasn'teven goingtotellRangerbecause,youknow" Isawhisrealizationofmydilemmaspreadacrosshisface."Steph,Idon'treallythinkthatit's goingtomattertohim." "Idon'tknowthatforsureandI'mstillalittlescaredofseeingthatothersideofhimagain.He wasalittlecoldwhenheleft." Hisgrinchangedatthereminderandhelookedsad."Steph,wehaveseenandbeenthrough somehellsomereallybadshit.ThatsideofRangerthatscaredyouhasalsosavedmanylives. ItdrugmyassoutofthefireseveraltimesandBobandTankwouldtellyouthesamething. That'swhatmakeshimsogoodathisjob.YouknowI'mnotcondoningwhathedidtoyou,butI knowhowmuchhelovesyou.Heknowswhatadumbassmistakehemade.Hereallysuffered forit.Ihaveseenhisversionofscaredforyoubefore,butafterhedidthatandlostyou,it changedhim.Noneofushaveeverseenhiminthatshape,ever.Hewasalmostbrokenhewas ahauntedman.That'swhyIknowthatitjustwon'tmatter." Ihadtearsinmyeyes."Ineverlookedatitthatway,Lester.Iknewhehaddemons.EllaandI talkedaboutthat.I'msorryforwhatyouguyshavebeenthrough." "It'sourjobgorgeous.Somebodyhastodoit.Mightaswellbeagoodlookingsuperherotype likeme,"hebeamed.Igavehimapunchinthearm.Justthenourfoodcameandweenjoyedit whileLestersharedhislatestsexualconquestswithme.Heissuchahorndog. AcoupleofpeopleknewthatIlovedHalloweenparties.WedecidedtohaveapartythisSaturday nightintherecroomandeveryonethatwasn'tondutycouldparticipate.BeingthattheMerry Menalwayshadsomuchfunatmyexpense,IhadcomeupwithafunideaforMerryMen costumesandIwasgoingtobreakthenewsatthemorningmeeting. Intheconferenceroom,afterTankconcludedallbusinessrelatednewsandaskedifanyonehad questionsoranyotherpertinentnews.Iheldupmyhand."Bombshell?""Tank,Ihaveafunidea

fortheHalloweenparty.I'minchargeofthecostumesandalltheMerryMenwilldrawfortheir costume.Iwanteveryonetomeetmeintherecroomtodayatlunchtime." Tankraisedaneyebrow."Oh,don'tbeapartypooper.You'redrawingtoo.It'sjustanopportunity fortheguystohavesomelaughsandblowoffsomesteam." IcaughtEllaintheloungeandtoldhermyideaforcostumesandshelaughed.Iaskedherifshe wantedtohelp.Ellawasagoodsportandlikedtohavefunwithherboys.Wedecidedafterthe namesweredrawn,wewouldgoshoppingandthenshewasgoingtosewsomeofthe costumes. AfterlunchIwalkedintotherecroomwithmybowl."Okayboyswearegoingtohavealittlefun forHalloween.Youguysaregoingtodrawforyourcostume.EllaandIwillbemakingthemfor you.Sowhowantstodrawfirst?" Asalways,Lesterthebiggestkidofthebunchstuckhishandup. "Reachinthebowlanddrawyourcostume,"Isaid. Hegrinnedandstuckhishandinandopenedthepieceofpaper.Hisbrowfurrowed,"NuhUh! I'mnotwearingthis."Bobbysnatcheditoutofhishandandstartedlaughing.Igrabbedhishand andlookedatit. "Iwouldn'tlaughifIwereyou,becauseyou'renext.Drawone."Bobbystuckhishandinand pulledapaperoutandhiseyesgotbig.Ilookedathis."Oh,you'regoingtohaveapartner,"andI giggled. "DrawoneTank."HedrewandIlookedatitandlaughed."That'sperfectforyouTank."Hedidn't lookveryhappy. ThenHaldrewandturnedred,Ramsnorted,Calgrinned,Juniorchuckled,andHectorcursedin Spanish.Woodywalkedin."Drawfromthebowl,"Isaid.Woodypulledouthishandandlooked andgrinned.Ipeekedathispaperandsaid,"YoBob!Here'syourpartnerrighthere." AlltheguyshadgrimacesontheirfacesliketheyjuststeppedinJakepoo."Ohcomeonguys, trustme.It'llbeevenmorefunifyoudon'ttellanyoneyourcostume.Well,seeyoulater.Ellaand Ihavesomeworktodo." EllaandIwenttoaHalloweenstoreandpickedupwhatwecouldandthenwenttoafabricstore togetsomestuffforhertosewtherestofthecostumes.Wehaddecidedtostopatadinerfor somelunchandwhenIwalkedin,thebarrageoffoodsmellshitmeandIputmyhandtomy mouthandranfortherestroom. Ellahadfollowedmeinandwaitedatthestalldoor.Shehelpedmetocleanupandwewent backintothedinerandtookabooth.Thewaitresscameandweplacedourorder. Ilookedather."Youknewalreadydidn'tyou?"Shenodded. "Ihadsuspected." "I'mstillalittlescaredofhimElla.ThisbabycouldbeNash's." "Idon'tthinkitwillmatterStephanie.IthinkthatRangerwouldraisethechildashisownifthere isapromiseofalifewithyou." "Soyou,Lester,andBobagreeonthatnote."Shesmiled. "Stephanie,thisisnotbadnews.YoulovedNashforashorttimeandifhegaveyouaspecial partofhimthenthatwouldnotbeabadthingandifthebabyisCarlos'sitwillchangebothyour livesforthebetter.Thissituationwillworkitselfoutandyouhavetheloveandsupportofmany friends.YouarelikemydaughterandIwillbethereforyou.Iloveyouchild."

"IloveyoutooElla,"Isaid. WeateandtalkedaboutthecostumesandwentbacktoRangeman. TodaywasFridayandIcouldn'tputitoffanylonger.Ihadtogotothe"Burg."Iselfishlywished RangerwereheretogowithmesothatIdidn'thavetolistentomoreofmymother'sdiatribe.I missedhimalready. IcalledhomeandtoldthemIwouldbethere.GrandmaMazur'sradarwasonandshewasatthe door."HiStephiegirl.Where'sRanger?" "Heisonamissionrightnow." "That'stoobad.ItoldthegirlsattheClipandCurlthattonightwasthenight.Iwasgoingtocheck outhispackagegood." IgrinnedatthepictureandthoughtstupidRanger.Ifhewantedatonementallhehadtodowas cometodinnerwithmetonight. MyDadwasinhisusualplaceintherecliner."Heypumpkin,how'smygirl?" "GoodDad,Valandthekidscoming?" "Shouldbehereinacoupleminutes." Withthatweheardacardoorandacommotionoutside.IncameValerie,Albert,andthegirls andmomcalledustodinner. Webeganpassingthepotroastandthesides.Valeriewasfillingthegirls'dishes.MyDad wantedtoknowhowthepartnershipatRangemanwasgoingandItoldhimfine. Dadsaid,"Proudofyoupumpkin." Grandmasaid,"MetooStephie.Usindependentgirlscandoanythingwewant." Dadmuttered,"Independentmyass." Mymothersaid,"WellStephanie,doesn'tthistakeuptoomuchofyourtime?Whatwillhappen whenyougetmarriedandhavechildren?Youcan'trunabusinessandbeamother,too.Where isRanger,didyouruinthatrelationshiptoo?Nomanappreciatesaloosewoman.Didn'tIraise youbetter?It'snotproperandallthosestrangemenandjustyouandthecleaningwoman."This strucksuchapainfulchordinmerightnow.BeforeIknewitIwasstandingwithhandsonthe tableglaringather. "I'mSuperFuckingWonderWomanMom!I'mbetterthantheaverageBurgslaveandIcandoit all!ThosestrangemenasyoucallthemaremostlywarheroesandIloveeverysingleoneof themlikebrothers!Don'tyoueverbringthisuptomeagain!EVER!" Everyonewasstunned.MysisterandKloughnhadclappedhandsoverthegirls'earsbutthey werestillpointingatmeandgiggling.Mymother'smouthwashangingopenandshecuther eyestothecabinetwhereshekeptherliquor. "Val,IamsosorryIdroppedtheFbombinfrontofyourgirls." Tearsstartedfallingthen."I..IthinkIneedtogo."Igotupandgrabbedmypurseandjacketand headedtothedoor. TBC Chapter5 GrandmaandValranintothelivingroomtocatchme.Grandmahuggedme."Thatwasthebest dinnerconversationweeverhad.WaitrightherewhileIgetyourdesserttotakewithyou.Cake

goesgoodwithtears." Valsaid,"Stephanieareyouokay?Iknowyou'vebeenthroughalot.I'mactuallyproudofyou. TherearetimesthatIwishIhadthegutstotalkbacktoher.Iknowwe'renotthatclosebutI wouldlikeustobe.Callme,okay?"Inodded.GrandmahandedmeagobagandIlookedupto seeDadstandinginthediningroomdoorwaysmilingatme.Igavehimalittlefingerwaveand left. Igotinthecar.Wherethehelldidthatcomefrom?Turnsoutpregnancyhormonesarelikeliquid courage.Who'dathunkit? Saturday,weweregettingreadyforourlittleparty.Someoftheguyswerehelpingmedecorate therecroomandeverybodyhadsomethingtodo.AtnoontimeIcheckedinwithEllainher apartmentandshewasalmostfinishedwiththelastcostume.Ibaggedthemforeachguyand thenIhelpedElladecorateareallycoolHalloweencake.Ellawassomuchfunitremindedme ofbeingalittlegirlandstayingatGrandmaMazur'shouse. WeweregoingtomakesomepunchandspikeitfortheguysandthenLesterandBobwere goingtograbthebeer.Wehaddecidedtojustmakeiteasyforthefoodandhadplacedabig orderforPino'spizza. Acoupleofhoursbeforetheparty,Ideliveredallthecostumes.Eachguyhadgrabbedhisbag withagrimace.Itwashilarious. Iwenttomyoffice.MycostumewastruetothewayIhadbeenfeelinglately.Iwasawitchand notasexywitcheitherawickedwitchofthewest. EllaandLuiswereintherecroomwhenIgotthereandtheyweresocute.Ellahadsimplysewn whatlookedlikehalfofaredbikinitopontohersandLuis'swhitetshirts.Shewastheleftand hetherightandtheyputabigballdowntheirshirts.Whentheystoodsidebyside,theywerethe wholebikinitopwithbigboobs.Luiswasthemoreserioustypeandtheywereatotalcrackup. ThefirstguyintheroomwasWoodyasTarzan.Holyjeez,washehotinhislittleloincloth.NowI knowwherehegotthatname.IwastryingtopullmyeyesawaywhenBobbywalkedin.I chuckled,"Bobhereisyourdate,"andpointedtoWoody. Bobbywasdressedinaloincloth,amatchingbraandablondewig.Bobbybeingagoodsport cameoverandwinkedatWoodyandputhisarmaroundhim,"Heybigguy.Areyoumydate?" Woodycrossedhisarms,"Don'tevenfuckingthinkaboutitJane."ThenHalwalkedinwearinga leotardwithapinktutuandtheybothbentoverlaughing.NextcameLester.Hewaswearingan adultdiaperwithbabypinsinitandapacifieraroundhisneckandababybonnet.Ilaughed, "You'rerockin'thatdiaperLes.Youlookhot!"Hebeamedandstuckthepacifierinhismouth. Bobbyguffawed,"Manyoumessedup,Santos." Tankcameinasasumowrestler.Hectorcameinasafairyandflippedeveryonethebird.I giggled,"HectorIdidn'tpickthatoneforyou.Youdrewitbuddy.Yousomakeitlookgood though."HeglaredatmeandcursedinSpanishagain. Juniorcameinasacheerleader,Ramcameinasamaid,andCalcameinastheBrideof Frankenstein.Eachguy'scostumewassillierthanthenextandtheylaugheduntiltheycriedat eachother.Thatwasthepoint.Itwouldmakeforsomegreathomemoviesandtheygottohave alotoffun. Iaskedforvolunteerstorelievetheguysonthemonitorssotheycouldvisitandhaveabiteto eat.WoodyandBobbylockedarmsandvolunteeredandsashayedoutoftheroom.Bobby

wigglinghisbutt.Tankcameovertomeandsaid,"Man,Ican'ttellyouwhatRangerwoulddoif heknewthatTarzanandJanewererunninghismonitors."Igiggledatthat. Weateanddancedandlaughed.Lesterwouldn'tstopsqueezingLuis'sboob.Wehaddressed Jakeasalittledevilandhewasrunningaroundincirclesandbarkingateveryone.However,the nightwasovershadowedbythefactthatsomeonewecaredaboutwasnotthere. EllaandIwerecleaningupafterthepartyandshewhisperedtome, "Stephanie,yougoonhome.Youlooksotired.I'llfinishuphere." "ThanksElla.Iampooped." Overthenextfewweeks,Tankhadtakenovershowingmehowtodojobcontractsandwrite proposalsandIwentoutwithHectorandsomeoftheotherguysdoingsecurityinstallssoI couldseewhatwasinvolved.Iwasstillpukingsometimesmorning,noon,andnight.Itwas takingatoll.IhadlostsomuchweightsinceNashdiedthatmyclotheswerefallingoffme.Never thoughtIwouldhavetoworryaboutbeingtoothin. LittleJakewasalreadygrowingandhewaseverybody'sbuddyatRangeman.Theyalltookturns takinghimoutandplayingwithhim.IhadtosnapapictureofHalonedayashewasfollowing Jakewithapooperscooper.ThenonedayIheardHector'scubicleeruptinastringofSpanish cursewordsandIwenttocheckitout.Heraisedhisboottoshowmetheproblemandglaredat me.IlaughedsohardIcried.Jakehadlefthimalittlepresentunderhisdesk. IhadbeenpushingboringcontractsandpapersaroundonmydeskallmorninguntilIwas sleepy.Ilaidmyheaddownonmydesk. Tankcameinandgentlyputhisbigpawonmyback."YouokayBombshell?Meandtheboys arekindofworriedaboutyou. Youdon'tlookyourselfandhaven'tseenyourfriendsorfamilymuch.Youjuststayhereinyour officeallthetime." "I'mfine.What'sup?"Hejustlookedatmeacoupleminutesandsighed."Justwantedtoletyou knowthatRangergotusamessage. He'sokay." "Wellthereyougo.Iwashopingsomethinggoodwouldhappensowewouldhavesomethingto celebrateforthanksgiving.We'llbethankfulforthat,Tank." AfterThanksgivingEllaandIwentshoppingandwentalloutbuyingdecorationsforRangeman. ThisplacehadneverhadarealChristmas.Theguyswerereallyexcitedandofferedtohelpus decorate.LesterandHalandIhadgoneoutonaSaturdaytoatreefarmandwepickedouta coupleoftreesandLesterdidagoodimpressionof"PaulBunyan"andchoppedthemdownfor ussowecoulddragthemhome.Heofferedtotakeoffhisshirtsowecouldadmirehisfine physiquewhileheworked. Isaid,"Notagoodideayou'llfreezeyournipplesoff."Hethoughtforaminutesandsaid,"You're rightI'mespeciallyfondofmyrightone."HalmumbledsomethingaboutLesterbeing crackbrained. MymorningsicknesswasbetterbutIwasfeelingtiredsometimesandmynerveswereallover theplace.Don'tIlovethoseHormones! Tankcameinandcaughtmenappingonmydeskagain.Hesnuckinandputhispawonme andscaredthebejeezusoutofme. "Shit,Tank!Weneedtoputabellonyouorsomething!You'recatcreepylikeRanger

sometimes.Ican'tfeelyoucominglikeIcanhim." Hegrinned."NowyouknowIain'tgonna'wearnodamnbell!" "Actually,thereasonIcameinhereisbecauseyougotsomemailfromthefoundation,"andhe handedmetheenvelope.Iopeneditandread. "They'rehavingadedicationceremonynextweekforthefoundationandNash.Theywanted RangerandItobethere." "Tank,doyouthinkthatyou,me,LesterandBobbycouldbeawayforacoupleofdaysatthe sametime?" "Yeah,Ithinkwecould.Incaseofemergencywecanbereachedandwehavebossesatthe othertwoofficesthatcanmakekeydecisionsonthefly." IhadbeenneglectingLulaandConnieandIputacallintothematthebondsoffice.Connieput meonspeakerphone.Lulasaid,"Wherethehellyoubeengirl.Youain'tevenreturningnophone calls." Conniesaid,"YouokaySteph?" "Thingsarejustcomplicatedrightnow.Ranger'sonadangerousmissionandotherstuff.Maybe wecangettogetherandgoshoppingorhaveagirlnightduringtheholidays.Igotta'gorightnow though.IjustwantedtotellyouImissyou."Theybothsaidthesameandwesaidgoodbye. ThemorningbeforethededicationinVirginiaIopenedthebottomdrawerofmydresserand pulledoutabox.Iopeneditandpulledouttheprettyblackdressandtheearringsandbracelet Nashhadboughtforme.Iwantedtowearthesetomorrowforhim. IheldthedressandthetearsfellasIrememberedthenightIworethemandhowNashheldme aswedanced.Hiseyeshadshoneashesmiledandlaughedwithme.OhGod,howImissed him.ThenIguessthehormoneskickedinandIlayacrossmybedandsobbed. IcrieduntilIfellasleep. TBC Chapter6 Aknockonthedoorwokemeup.Jakestartedbarking.Ilookedthroughthepeepholeandsaw Morelli.IopenedthedoorandabigflashofredfluffjumpedtowardmeandJakegrowledand Bobyelpedandalmostflippedbackwardstryingtostophismomentum. JoeandIbothlaughed.Isatdowninthefloorandtriedtogentlyintroducethetwodogswithouta scuffle.Afteranawkwardintroductionandalittlebuttsniffingtheydecideditwasplaytime. "IjustcametocheckonyouCupcake.Howareyou?"Joeasked. "IthinkI'mokay.Whataboutyou?" "Well,MarrianeandIarestilldatingandit'sgood.Thejobisstillthesame.Istillhaveone becausepeoplewon'tstopkillingeachother." "Youwantsomethingtodrink?""SureI'lljusthaveasoda.Ihavetogetbacktowork,"Joesaid. "Comeoninmybedroom,Iwaspackingandgotsidetracked.Icanpackwhilewechat."He broughthissodaandsatdowninthechairinmyroom.Hesaid,"IheardRangerwasoutof town." "He'sonamission." "Howwashetreatingyoubeforeheleft?"

"FineJoe.Hewastheperfectgentleman." "Soareyoubacktogether?" "Idon'tknow.It'shardtohavearelationshipwhentheotherpersonismissing." "I'msosorryyouhavebeenhurtsobadSteph." "It'sokayJoe.ItmayhavebeenajourneythatIneededtotake. Ican'tsaythatI'mecstaticallyhappyrightnowbutIfeelemotionallystrongerthanIeverhave andIhavemoreconfidence." Hiseyeswenttothedressonthebed."Thatisareallyprettydress.Icouldseeyouwearing that." "Nashboughtitformeforourfirstdateandthese,"andIshowedhimthejewelryboxes. "Heboughtyoudiamonds." "OhIdon'tthinkthosearerealdiamondsJoe.But,theyarereallyspecialandIlovethem." "They'rerealSteph." Ireachedoutandtooktheboxes."What?"Tearsbegantofallagain."Heboughtmediamonds?" Joenodded. Joelookedsad.Hestoodupandsaid,"Hewasasmartman.Heknewrightawayhowluckyhe was.Ihavetoheadbacktowork.I'llcheckinonyouagainsoon."Hekissedmeonthecheek. AcouplehourslatermyMerryMenandIwereheadedtoVirginia.Wehadgottendoggiekisses fromJakeandlefthimatRangeman.Theywerealreadytryingtoteachhimtricks.Atthispoint hewouldmostlydotheoppositeofwhattheyweretryingtoteachhim.Itwasfunnywatching someofJake'santics.Rightnowsitmeantfloppingoveronhisbackandmovinghislegslikehe wasrunningwithhistonguelollingout.StopmeantIgotyourbootandit'sminenow. HectorhadbookedusasuiteandroomsattheRitzCarltoninArlingtonabout5milesfrom Springfield. IsaidtoTank,"Wedon'tneedanythingthatnice." "Bombshell,youandRangeraretheownersofaverysuccessfulbusinessandwhenwetravel wecanwriteoffsomeofthatexpensewhenouraccountantdoesourtaxes.It'sallgood.Ranger wouldnotsettleforanyless,especiallyforyou." Afterthebellmanshowedustoourroomandmysuite,Iclosedthebedroomdoorandwentinto thebathroomandranabath.Ijustwantedtoclosemyeyesandsoakandrelax. MyphonerangbeforeIundressed.ItwasJustine. "Hello,Justine." "Hellodear.Ican'twaittoseeyoutonight.HaveyouarrivedinSpringfield?" "Yes.We'reclosebystayingattheRitzCarltoninArlington.Wejustgothere." "Whatawonderfulhotelandyou'reveryclosetotherestaurant." "We'regoingtomeetattheLyonHallthereinArlingtonat6:30pm." "Soundsreallygood." "SeeyouthereStephanie.Goodbye." IsoakeduntilIalmostwenttosleepandgotoutandtoweledmypruneyskin.IdialedTank. "Justinecalled.We'rehavingdinnerhereinArlingtonataplacecalledLyonHallat1800Ranger time." Hechuckled,"OkayI'lltelltheguys." Tankknockedonthedoorinafewminutesholdingabox.Hesaid,"Rangerboughtthisforyou

forChristmasbutIthinkhemightlikeyoutohaveitnow." Iopeneditandtherewasabeautifulgreycoloredshawlwithsmallbeadinginit.Isaid,"Ican't believethisTank.ThiswilllookperfectwiththedressI'mwearingtomorrowandheneversaw." WearrivedattherestaurantandBobbygavethehostessournameandsheledusthroughthe restauranttoaprivateroom.SheopenedthedoorandtherewasTrigg,Bing,andMrs.Nashand TravisandhissonJustinandsomeotherpeopleIdidn'tknow.Ohmygosh!BillyGibbonswas therewithFrankandDusty!Therewerehugsandkissesallaround. IstoppedatJustin."Wecandoabigsqueezyhugorafistbumporboth.Whatwouldyoulike?" Helookedofftothesideofmeandheldouthisarms. "Okayyouready?"IgrabbedhimandsqueezedhimashardasIcouldandweendedwithalittle fistbump. Ihadlearnedthatautistickidshavedisconnectionsintheirlittlebrainsandchemistryandthat lightcontactwasuncomfortableforthemaswellasintenselightandsound.However,intense contactlikeabighugandweighthelpedtocentertheirgravityandcalmthemsomehow.Travis saidJustinalwayslikedtowearheavybootslikerainbootsbecausetheygavehimcomfortand hestillevensleptwithaweightedblanket.Thesearethelittlethingsthatmakeabigdifference thatthefoundationprovidesalongwiththehelpofspecialists,therapists,anddieticians. JustinwasabeautifulboyandincrediblysmartandIhadtearsinmyeyesthinkingaboutthelove thatNashhadfeltforthissweetkid.Ithoughtaboutmyunbornbabyandshiveredalittle.Whatif itwasn'tokay?Ipushedthethoughtoutofmyhead.Ugh,damnhormones.Withthatthoughtmy stomachpitchedandIwasoffrunninginsearchoftherestroom. WhenIfinishedthrowingup,IopenedthestalldoorandJustinewasthere.Shelookedatmeand smiled. "Comehere,dear,"andshehelpedmetocleanup. "Doyouknowwhenyou'redue?" Ithoughthowdowomenknowthis?Dotheyhavebuiltinpregnancyradar?I'mnotgoingnear mymotherwhenIgetback. "Idon'tknowforsureyetJustine." Shelaughed."It'shardtokeepthissortofthingasecretforverylongStephanie." Ilookedather."Justine,Ican'tlietoyou.Idon'tknowifthisisRanger'sbabyorNash's.Iwas withRangerbeforeIwenttoworkandstaywithNash.Hehurtmeandthat'swhyIlefthim. FallinginlovewithNashwasnotsomethingIexpected.I'msoashamed." "Lifeisnoteasydearandsometimeslessonslearnedarenotbychance,theyarepreordainedif youwill.Destiny." "DoesCarlosknow?" "Yes." "Whatdidhesay?" "Nothing.HewasleavingonamissionandIblurteditoutbecauseIwasangrywithhim.He's punishinghimself." "IthinkCarlosisagoodmanandhelovesyouandIwouldtrusthimwithmygrandchild.Ihavea senseaboutsuchthings.SomemenareopenandeasylikemyJohnwas.But,somearehard andcomplicatedlikeRangerandJohn'sfather.MylatehusbandwasagreatmanasIamsure yourRangeris.Iwouldbesohappyifitwasmyson'schild.WhatIwantforsureisyouandthat

babyhappyandhealthy.IwouldlovetobeaGrandmothertoyoursandCarlos'sbaby,too,ifI'm allowed." Istartedtocryandshehuggedmetoher.Ilovethiswomananddamnthesefriggin'hormones. Justineintroducedmetothenewmaninherlifewhenwegotbacktothediningroom.Hisname wasLucasDuncan.Hewasawarm,softspokenmanandhandsomeforhisage.Ihuggedhim andtoldhimthatIwasveryhappytomeethim.IwassohappyforJustine.Ican'timaginehow shehassufferedlosingherhusbandandthenheronlychild.IwassurprisedtorealizethatI wouldbedevastatedifIlostmybabyanditwasn'tevenbornyet. WehadawonderfuldinnerandIthinktheMerryMenwerestarstruckwhenitcametoBillyand theband.Beforethenightwasovertheywerediscussingbountyhuntingandsecurity.Ireally enjoyedbeingwithBingandTriggagain.Theycaughtmeuponhowthebusinesswasgoing andtoldmethattheyhadhireda"cute"secretary.Iaskedthemiftheyhiredherforherbrainsor herboobs.Theyansweredsheepishlythatshehadalotofboth.Igiggled. LesterhadbeenentertainingBingandTriggandIcouldtellthatthethreeofthemweregoingto becomegoodfriends.Theycan'tbelievehowgoofyheis.Itoldthemhe'sarrogant,absurd, comical,asuperhorndogandpriceless.It'sallnaturalandGodgivenandheisthebestfrienda manorwomancouldhave.He'sloyallikeapuppydogandfierceaboutprotectinghisfriends. "Guys,Lesteristhebest." Lesterputhisarmaroundme,"GorgeousIknewyouwereinlovewithme,"andgavemea sloppykissonthecheek.Iwipedmycheek,"Andguysheslobberstoo."TriggandBing chuckled. Thenextdaywasbothemotionalandwonderful.JustinetoldmehowbeautifulIlooked.Itoldher thatNashhadboughtmethedressandthejewelryandIhadwantedtoweartheminhishonor.I toldherthatRangerhadgivenmetheshawl. Morethan300peopleattendedthededicationceremony.Itwasn'tasurprisethatNashhadbeen sorespectedandlovedinhiscommunity.Irememberedallthoseplaquesonthewallofhis officeforservicehehaddoneforothers. Attheendoftheceremonyitwasannouncedthatdonationsjustforthatdayhadtotaledmore thanahalfmilliondollarsandthatBillyandthebandwouldbeaddinganotherhalfmilliontothe total.Thefoundationwouldreachmanymorechildren. TravisandIheldhandswithtearsrollingdownourfaces.LittleJustinwasclappinghishands.I huggedpeopleandshookhandsforanhour.Itwasoverwhelming.Tankwashavingaserious conversationwithBingandTrigg.Iwentovertoseewhattheywerediscussing. Tankgrinned,"Wearediscussingamerger." "What?" "HowdoyoufeelaboutpresentingaproposaltobuyNash'sbusinessandmergeitwith Rangeman?BingandTriggwillheadthisoffice." BingandTriggbeamed."Omigod,thatwouldbegreat!" Bingsaid,"BillyandtheboysneedsomesecurityworkandIthinkwecantakeoffwithabang, toots." WeendedthedaywithverytearfulgoodbyesandJustinesaidshewouldcallmeinafewdays. TBC Nash'slegacyisstillatwork.Heisstillteachinglessons.Whataguy!

Chapter7 ChristmaswassomberbutItriedmybesttokeeptheguysentertained.Wehadasmallparty anddecidedtohaveagiftexchangegame.Theguyswouldbuyagiftandplaceitunderthetree andduringthegametheycouldtakeagiftorstealfromsomeoneelse. MybowlcameinhandyagainandIwasdrawingtheorderofthegiftexchange.Iopenedthefirst paper."Okay,Halgrabagift." Halgrabbedamediumsizedboxandopenedit.ItwasaplumpasscheekscoffeemugandHal turnedbloodred. ThenexttodrawwasTank.Hedrewaplaygirlbeersnuggiecoverandhegrinned.Hectorpicked the'That'ssogaysoundmachine'andflippedeveryonethebirdagain.Bobbypickedthe'gun mug'andheseemedtobehappy. Woodyopenedapackagethathadatshirtthatsaid,'I'mhunglikeablackman'.Lesterpickeda packagewithatshirtthatsaid,'I'maDramaQueen'.LesterjumpedWoodyandhewasfighting himforhistshirt.Ilaughed,"DammitLesteryou'renotbeingagoodsport.You'resupposedto grabsomeoneelse'sgiftbeforeyouopenanewone." Helookedup."IamsonotaDramaQueen!"TheguyswerebentoverlaughingatLester.Ram pickedapackageandopeneditanditwasaCockRocket3000.Hesnortedhisdisgust.Hector reachedoverandsnatchedtheCock3000andputthe'That'ssogaysoundmachine"inRam's hands."Whatthefuck?"Rambellowed.Hectorwaskindofscarysohefinallyjustshruggedhis shouldersandwentwithit.Thatbroughthootsoflaughter. ThelasttopickwasJunior.Heopenedthepackageandeveryoneturnedtheirheadsindisgust. "LiquidAssSpray?Whowasthedeviantthatpurchasedthat?"Itsmelledlikeamixtureofgreen poo,badsmellingmoistbuttcrack,fart,anddeadanimals. Iwrinkledmynoseandgagged."Howthehelldoyoubottlethat?" OnChristmasEveTankbroughtapackagetomyoffice."YourpresentfromRanger,Bomber." Iputmyheadonhisbigshoulderandsighed."Didhearrangeallthesebeforeheleft?"Tank nodded. IhuggedTank."MerryChristmasTank.You'reagoodfriendtobothofus." "He'smybrotherandyou'remylil'sisterandIgotyourbacks." Heturnedandleft.Iopenedthepackageanditwasadaintypairofdiamondearringswithalarge diamondinthemiddleandbluesapphiresinacirclearoundthem.Theymatchedthenecklace hehadgivenme.Therewasaletterwiththebox.Iread: BeautifulBabe, I'msorryI'mnottheretoholdyouandkissyouunderthemistletoe.Morebluesapphiresto matchyourblueeyesthatIlovetolosemyselfin. YouwillalwaysbetheonethatIloveandwanttospendtherestofmylifewith. MyLove, Carlos Idrovehomeintears.IhaddecoratedRangemanformyguys.Inmyapartmenttherewasno signthataholidaywastakingplace.TheonlythingIhadwasalittlestockingthatEllaandIhad boughtforJake.

Iwascurleduponthecouchinthedarkwhenthedoorbellrang.LookingthroughthepeepholeI sawitwasLester.Iopenedthedoorandhelookedatmeandlaiddownapresentandacakehe hadbrought.ThenheputhisbigarmsaroundmeandletmesobuntilIcouldn'tanylonger. Helookedatmeandgrinned."Gorgeous,you'vegottogotakecareofthatnose.Thatdon'tfit withmypictureofyoulayingseductivelyonabeachtowelinabikini."Isnuffledsnotandgiggled. Iwentinthebathroomandhonkedmyhornuntilitwasdryandmethimonthecouch.He grinned,"That'sbetterbutfortherecordthosenoisesyouweremakingintherearejustnot sexy."Ielbowedhim. "Whataredoinghereanyway?Don'tyouhaveadateorfamilytogoseeorsomething?" "No,Ireservedtonightforyou.Ibroughtaredvelvetcakefromthebakeryandapresent.Let's eatcakeandwatchamovie."Hegotupandbroughtthepresentover.Iopeneditandrolledmy eyes.Itwasamatchingredandblackbraandthongsetwithlittlebowsandlace."Mygift,my fantasy,"hedefended. Icutussomecakeandgotusablanketandwecurleduponthesofaandwatchedamovie.I lookedathimduringthemovieandIsaid,"LesterIcan'ttellyouhowmuchIappreciateyour friendship,"andIkissedhimonthecheek.Hesurprisedmeandturnedmycheekandgently kissedmeonthelips. "IcareforyouStephandIalwayshave.Ihateitwhenpeoplehurtyou.Youarekindtoeveryone andyoudeservetobetreatedbetter."Heheldmeagainsthisbigwarmchestandinalittlebitwe bothdriftedofftosleep. Christmasatmyparentswasstrainedandquiet.Mymotherwassomberandtooquiet.Iwas beginningtoshowalittleandwashidingitwithmynowbaggyclothes.Iwascoveringupwith jacketsandcoats. InJanuary,Ihadgonetothecopshoponedaytopickupsomepaperworkandchecksome fugitivefiles.TheparkinglotwasfullandIhadparkedacrossthestreet. WhenIcameoutofthebuildingEddieandBigDogwereinthelotaswellasMorelli.Istoppedto chatandIsawmovementinmyperipheralvision.Weallturnedandwatchedayoungmanjump intomyLexus,hotwireit,andspeedaway. Iturnedandglaredatthem."So,thisisthepolicestation.Youareallcopsright?" Allthreestoodtherewiththeirstupidmouthstwitchingandnotonehadthegoodgracetolook away.Eddiewasshakingwhiletryingnottobust.BigDogtookadeepbreathtryingtosuckin theguffawshewasholdingback,"That'sShermanHughes.Hejustgotoutonbailforcartheft." Morellichuckled,"LetmegiveyoualiftCupcake." IturnedandflippedthemdoubleJerseybirds. Eddielaughed,"HeyIcouldgiveyouaticketforthatlewdgesture." Icalledback,"Yeahandyoucan'biteme'tooEddie!" OnthewayhomeIcalledthecontrolroomandtoldthemtosendsomeguystofetchmycarand nottohurttheidiottoobad.Igotmycarbackwithonlyacouplescratchesandsomeminor electronicproblems.TurnsoutShermanjustneededaridetotheliquorstoreandhishouse. OnValentine'sDay,Tankhadbroughtmeagift.HesaiditwasfromRanger.Iopeneditandit wasagoldbraceletwiththelettersBabeandeachonehadanencrusteddiamond.Itlookedto becustommade. IthadabeenawhilesincewehadgottenwordfromhimandinRangerstyle,Ihadputupthe

wallthatkeptmefromthinkingaboutthefactthathewasgoneandindangerandIdidn'tknow whenhewouldreturn. CometheendofFebruarythecatwasliterallyoutofthebag.Iwasshowingandtherewasno denyingthatIhada'bunintheoven'.IstayedbetweenmyapartmentandRangeman.Iwas tryingtokeepmysecretfrommymotherandtheBurgaslongasIpossiblycould. OnedayIwasreallylowongroceriesandJakefoodandIhadtogotothegrocerystore.I shoppedandcameoutofthestoreandwalkedtomycar.WhenIgotclosetothecar,there werethreeguysinsidestealingit. Ipulledmygun."Getoutofthedamncar!I'mtiredofthisshit!Iwillblowholesinallyourbutts. Nowscoot!"Iyelled. Theydidn'twait.Theygotoutandranlikehell. Ismuglyholsteredmygunandputmygroceriesinthecar. IwasshakingwhenItriedtostickmykeyintheignition.Itjustwouldn'tgo.Iwascursingunder mybreath."Dammit,fuckingshit,eatmebunchofcarstealers,buttholes,sickofthiscrazyass horsehockey,haveenoughstupidproblems,awwsuckit!" Icouldn'tstartthecar.ThenIlookedoverattheseatsandInoticedafootballthatwasn'tmine andsomeplayingcardsandtwo12packsofbeerinthebackseatandhangingfromthe rearviewmirrorwasatoplessBettyBooplookingairfreshener. Igotoutofthecarandwalkedtotherearbumperandlookeddowntherowofcars.Thereabout fourcarsdownwasmyLexus. Ohcrap Itransferredmybagstomyrealcaranddrovetothepolicestation.Ihadbrokenarecordfornot makinganassoutmyselfforthelastcouplemonthsandnowIwasgoingtohavetooutmy pregnancyinablazeofstupidglory.I'manidiot. Iwalkedintothestationandupthedesk.AfairlynewTPDcopthatIhadtalkedtoacoupletimes wasworking,FredTanner. Hesaid,"HeyStephanie.Howyoudoing?" "Well,I'llletyoudecide."ItoldhimwhatIhaddoneandthecornersofhismouthweretwitching andhewasshaking.ThenhepointedtotheendofthedeskwhereCarlCostanzawastakinga statementfromthreewhitefacedyoungmen. Iscootedovertowardthemtolisten.Theywerereportingacarjackingbyawhitepregnant female,approximately5'7,browncrazyhairandangryblueeyes,wildlywavingagunand threateningtoputholesintheirbutts. Carlpointedmywayandtheylookedandalljumpedandputtheirhandsup.CarlandFredwere laughingtheirassesoff.Fredfelloffhisdeskchair.Iapologizedtotheyoungmenandtoldthem thatourcarswereidenticalandIwassensitivebecauseminehadbeenstolenlastmonth. Theywereniceaboutitanddidn'tpresschargesagainstme.Igavethemtheirkeysand$100for beermoney. Aftertheembarrassingsituationatthepolicestation,ittookallofonehourformymotherto beginleavingmessagesonmyphone. ItookaonedaybreathertoprepareandthenIcalledherback. "Mom?" "Stephanie,isittrue?Areyoupregnantoutofwedlock?"

"Yep." "Whoisthefather?Doyouevenknow?Haveyounoshame?" Iwinced.Beingthatoneofthepossiblefatherswasdeadandtheotherwasinharmswayright now,Ifeltmyhacklesrisingandthehormoneswereslowlypushingthemtothedangerzone. "Howcouldyoudothistoourfamily?Josephhascalled.Hestillwantstomarryyou!Myphoneis ringingoffthehook!Youresolvethisawfulmistakerightnowbeforethebabyisborn!" Ifinallysnapped."STOP!IwillnotmarryJoeMorelli!Ifyouwanttohavearelationshipwithme andthischildatallthenyouwillstopthistiraderightnow.IamlivingmylifethewayIchoose. Notthewayyouchoose!" "Iraisedyoubetterthanthisyounglady!Howdareyouspeaktomethatway! "No,howdareyou?Youcan'thurtmeanymoremother."I disconnected. Ranger'sPOV IhadbeenfromBaghdadtoFallujahandnowPakistantrackingmembersassociatedwiththe jihadistgroupAlQaeda.Iwastryingtogetmyhandsononeinparticularwhowasknowntobe oneoftheleadersoftheMujahadeencouncil.HisnamewasMusabSaeedalFayad.AlFayad wasleavinganAmericantrailofbloodalloverthisBabyloniancesspool.Hewassystematically huntingandabductinghighprofileAmericancitizensforthesolepurposeofmurderingthemin theworstwaypossible. IhadhookedupwithaUSArmyDeltaForceteamwhohadbeenworkingonthemissionfora fewweeks.Sofar,wewereafewstepsbehindthemandallwewerefindingwerethebodies. Withtheircontacts,theyhadawayofjustdisappearingandmaterializinginanewplacelike fuckingghosts. Onthethirdmonthofthemissionwehadgottenatipfromaninformantthathadtoldusthat alFayadwashuntinganAmericanreporterinPakistanandwemovedasquicklyaswecould. BythetimewearrivedinKarachi,alFayadhadfoundJasonDaniels.DanielswasaJewish AmericanjournalistfamousforhisfreelanceworkintheMiddleEast. AlFayadhadaparticularinterestinthisreporterbecausehewasdoingresearchonaterrorist linkedtoAlQaedawhohadattemptedtosmuggleexplosivesonboardtoblowupanAmerican airlinerflyingoutofLondon. WespenttwodaysgatheringIntelandspeakingwithinformantsandalocalPakistanidetective whoknewthefamilyandwasworkingonthecase. Onthethirddaywefinallygotourbreak.Fivemeninmaskswereholdingthejournalistinanold warehouseinadecrepitpartofthecity.Danielswasonhiskneesspeakingsoftlyintoacamera. WeburstintotheroomjustasthemacheteslicedintoDaniels'neck.Ifiredattheattackerasthe otherteammembersfiredontheotherfour. Weweretoolate.IwenttothedyingmanlyingonthefloorholdinghisthroatwithonehandandI whisperedtohim,"I'msorrywedidn'tmakeitheresoonerMr.Daniels."Hemovedhisother handslowlyovermineandchoked.Hewasgone. OneofthemenwaspositivelyidentifiedasalFayad.Themissionwasalmostoverforme.The detectivewhoknewthefamilywascontacted.JasonDaniels'wifeandfatherhadbeenlivingina

smallhouseinKarachi.Thedetectivewasstillworriedabouttheirsafety. Wehadarrangedatransportforthejournalist'sbodyandhisfamily.Thedetectivehadgoneto breaktheheartbreakingnewstothewifeandfatherandhelpgetthempackedandgetthemto thetransportplane. Twohourslateracarpulledupnexttotheplanewithlightson. ItwasthefamilyofJasonDaniels.IgaspedwhenIsawthewomanspeakingsoftlytothe detectivewithtearsinhereyesandthedetectivepointedatme. LioraDanielswalkeduptomewithtearsstreamingdownherface.Shewaseightornine monthspregnantandalmostreadytogivebirth.IthoughtofStephanie.Shesaidsoftly,"I understandthatyouwerewithmyhusbandwhenhedied?"Inodded. "Didhesuffer?" Ishookmyheadno."Itwasveryquickandquiet.Hewasverybrave." Shesmiledlikethisgaveherasmallbitofcomfort.Sheputherhandonminelikeherhusband hadforamomentandthenwalkedaway. ThetransportplanewasloadedandIstartedtostepupontothebackandloweredmyhead. WhatIhadseenonthismissionhadbeensoevil,sodark,andithadfilledmeup.Ithought aboutDaniels'grievingwifereadytogivebirthanyday. Iranmyhandsdownmyface.Stephanie.Idon'tknowifherbabyismine.HowcouldIbea fatherrightnow?Ionlyfeelhateandanger.HowcanIgobackwiththiskindofdarknessinside ofme? Ishookmyhead.TequierotantomiEstafania(Iloveyousomuch)andbecauseofthatIcan't comebacktoyourightnow. IalertedthemenonthegroundthatIwouldn'tbetakingthetransportbackandIdisappeared. TBC Chapter8 AfewweeksearlierEllahadhelpedmetochooseanOBGYNandshehadgonewithmeformy firstvisit.IthinkEllacaredmoreformeandhadbeenkindertomethanmymothereverhadin mylifetime. EvenmyrelationshipwithJustineinsuchashorttimehadgivenmemorecomfortand happinessthanIhadeverfeltbeforewithmymom.WhenIthoughtofmymotherIthought wordslike,cold,selfish,uncaring.ThereisapromisethatI'mmakingtomyunbornbabyand thatisheorshewillneverassociatesuchwordswithme. ItwasalmosttheendofMarchnow.Tankcameintomyofficewithasolemnface."Ihavesome newsBombshell." "IjustgotwordthatRanger'smissionwasoverweeksago.Hecompletedit,butdidn'tgetonthe transporthomebychoice.Noonehasseenhimsince." "Tank,whatthehelldoesthismean?Isheintrouble,onanothermission?Tellme!" Idon'tknowyet.Inevershouldhavelethimgoalone.Wealwayshaveeachother'sbacks.I don'tknowwhathappened." "Isheisdanger?" "Notindicated.Hejustwalkedawayanddisappearedofftheradar."

"Ifhe'snotonamissionhowdowefindhim?Howdoeshegetmoney?Whereishestaying?" "Steph,heknowsthatpartoftheworldandhehascontacts.Hehasaliaspersonas,moneyin placesandcountriesIdon'tevenknowabout.Hecanwalkintoanybankintheworldandget whatheneedsandwewouldn'tknow.Ifhewantedtodisappearhecoulddoit." Tankgavemeanexasperatedlook."Thequestioniswhy?" Ranger'sPOV ThereisacertainwindingroadintheancientwalledcityofLahore,walkingdownwhichyoucome facetofacewiththerealheartoflife.Risingliketheheatandsandofcenturiespast,almostas oldastheMughals(Persiantribe)themselves,it'slifestaringyouboldlyintheface:hot,humid, stark.itmakesyousweatwithitsunblinking,almostnakedintensity.Ihavefoundherethe cureforanysadnessthattormentsthehumansoul.havefeltmyownmeltintoinsignificance initsgrimydust. Aplaceofdarkness.itcomesaliveonlyasthesunsetsinitsrussetsky.Theswiftlyfalling nightblanketsthepovertyanddirtthatliesexposedbytheday.Thesmellofrichsweetdelights mingleswiththatoffreshlyslicedcoconutandsugarcane,asvendorscalltothepassingcrowd, withwoodenstallspiledhighwithspices,mangoes,cucumbers,andallkindsofexoticwares. Hawkersroamwithstringsofrosesandjasminepetals,alongwithbeggarswithscrawny outstretchedhands.Lurkingatcorners,drugdealersexchangegrubbyhandswithloafers shadypimpswithprospectivecustomers.Bazaarsholdbeautiesperformingthemujradancefor thosewhowantpleasureandaonenightbride Andeverywhere...theheatandchaosofbreathing,sweatinghumanitypressedtogether. Thisismydomain. (Partoftheabovecamefromablogmyownworldandtherestismine.) Stephanie'sPOV TwomoreweekshavepassedandwehaveheardnothingfromRanger.Tankhasexhausted hisresourcesandcontactstryingtofindhim.Hewasonlyabletofindoutonedetailandhehad toofferfavorsfortheinformation.TankhadsharedwithmeapartofRanger'sclassifiedmission thatcouldgethimkilledifhisgovernmenthandlersfoundouthehadtalkedtoacivilian. TankknowsthathecantrustmewithhislifeandhetoldmethatpartofRanger'smissionhadto dowiththatjournalistwhohadbeenkidnappedinPakistanandtheyhadtriedtobeheadhim.He hadstilldiedandhispoorwifehadgivenbirthnotlongafterhewasburied.Thatstoryhadbeen inpapersandthenews. HowhorrificforallofthemandifIwasn'tsoscaredforRanger,Iwouldbefuriousathimfornot cominghomewhenhehadtheopportunity.TheonlythingTankknewforsurewasthatthe transportleftfromKurachi,Pakistan. Tank'sPOV Ihadreceivedthe'erroremailaddressnotfound'backthreetimesnow.Igrowledandraisingmy

handIsmashedthekeyboardtopieces."Whatthefuck,Boss?" Brownknockedandstuckhisheadinthedoor.Helookedatthesmashedkeyboard. "Havingabaddayman?" "YellatHectorandtellhimtobringmeanotherkeyboardandI'llsharethisnewswithyou,mother fuckman." Bobbyleftforacoupleminutesandcameback."GotafuckingweirdemailfromRanger.Itried toreplythreetimesandtheaddresscan'tbefound.WhenHectorgetsinhereI'llshowittoyou." Hectorcameinandremovedthedestroyedkeyboardandpluggedinanewone."Tu'cabreado (youpissed)?"HectorlookedatTankandasked."ShutupHectorandstayhereforaminute." TankpulleduptheemailfromRangerandBobbyandHectorleanedoverandreadit. "Tank,YouandStephareinchargeofRangemanindefinitely.Don'twasteresourcesorfunds bysendingateam.Ican'tcomehomeandI'maskingyouasmyfriendtolookafterStephanie andherbaby." Ranger "Whatmakesfuckingsenseaboutthis?Firsthejustvolunteersforthismissionalonewhichis againstourbrotherscode.Thenhedoesn'tgetonthetransporthomeandhefucking disappears.Hedoesthisknowingthathiswomanispregnantandwaitingforhimtocome home.GetSantosinheretoo.Iwanthimtoseethisandweneedtotalkbeforewegoto Bombshellwiththisshit." "Hector,I'mforwardingyouthis.CallSilvioinMiamiandsendhimacopy.Seeifyouhaveany waytofindoutwherethiscamefrom.And,Hectorthisiseyesonly.RelaythattoSilvio." LesterwalkedinwithBobby."Closethedoor.Iknowyou'reclosertoStephaniethanBoband me.YoureadthisemailfromRangerandthenifyouknowanythingthatwedon'tyoubetterspill itorI'llbeatitoutofyou,"Igrowled. Lesterreadtheemailandsteppedawayfromme."Imightknowsomeofthereasonwhyhetook themission.IthastodowithherleavinglastSeptember.But,IpromisedStephaniethatI wouldn'ttellwhathappened." Ipoundedmyfistonthedeskandgrowledathim."Wellyouaregoingtotellusbecauseweare hisbestfriendsandnowweareresponsibleforher.Beforewetalktoheraboutthis,allofus needtounderstandwhatthefuckisgoingonhere!Sospill!" Lesterjumpedandmadeaface."Ifshefindsoutshewillnevertrustmetotellmeabouta problemagain.Idon'twanthertofeellikeshecan'tconfideinme." "Lester,meandBobbylovethatlittledollandthesecretwillneverleavethisroom." Lestersighedandnodded."Didyouviewthevideofromthatday?"BobbyandIbothnodded. "Bobby,sheplayedaprankonhimbecauseshewasupsetaboutbeingourentertainmentallthe time.Shewantedhimtohaveanideaofwhatitfeltlike.Shedoesn'tunderstandthatallthatstuff shedoesispartofthereasonweadorehersomuch.Shetrickedhimandlefthimnakedinhis officecuffedtohisdeskchairandthentookthecuffkeytoTank." Bobbygrinnedpicturingthat. "RangertookherfromLuisandElla'sapartmentuptoseven.Intheaudio,youcanhearherfear andcrying.Helosthisshitman.Hehandcuffedher,strippedher,andforcedhimselfonher.He scaredandhumiliatedher.That'swhysheranoutofhereandwenttoVirginia.Rememberthe blackeyeandbruisedface?OnewasfrommeandonefromNash."

Iwasshockedandhitwithanoverwhelmingpangofguilt."Ahhdammit!Iunlockedhimandgot himclothes.IknewhowangryhewasandIcouldhavestoppedhim.Ihadnoideathathewould hurtthatlittlegirl.Ithoughttheyjusthadabadfight." "Ellaknowsandfeelsguiltytoo.ShefoundSteph'sshreddedclothesandStephaniehadbegged herandLuistohelpherwhenRangerwasdraggingheroutoftheapartment,"Lestersaid. Bobbysaid,"MyGod,thisputsallthepiecestogetheraboutthatwholething." "Shehasforgivenhimbut,Idon'tthinktherelationshipisthesame.Theyarenotreallyacouple againyet.Tothisdayshewon'tgouptoseven.Whenshecaughthimleavingforthemission withouttellingherandaskedhimwhyhewouldvolunteertogo,hisanswerwas'atonement'." Iranmyhandsdownmyface,"Stupidmotherfucker!Hethinksmakingthisrightisleavingand gettin'killedoverinthathellholeorabandoningherwithababyontheway?"IlookedatBob, "Hashelosthismind?CouldhebesufferingPTSDorsomeshit?" "TankI'msostunnedrightnow.I'mjusttryingtothink.Idon'trememberanysignsorstrange behaviorbackaroundthattime.Ican'tevenrecallhimlosinghisshitstatesidebefore.Helostit withheroveraprank?" Lestersaid,"Hehadsomewordsforherthatday.Shesaidthathetreatedherlikeapossession andtoldherhedemandedrespectunderhisroof.AftershemetNash,shewouldn'thavecome back. Hebasicallygotasecondchanceandnowhe'sblowingit." "He'smybrotherbutIwouldleavehisasstoo.Thatpoorwomanhasbeenthroughsomuch. Whatarewegoingtodo?"Bobbyfrowned. "Weneedtofindhimanddraghissorryasshomeforhisowngood.Thetransporthewas supposedtocatchwasfromKurachi.Missionwascomplete.IfHectororSilviocanfindout anythingaboutwherethatemailoriginated,we'llsendateam.AsfarasBombshell,Ithinkwe shouldwaitafewdaysbeforeweshowhertheemail." Lestersaid,"Idon'tthinkweshouldshowittoher.Ithinkwejusttellherthatwegotnewshe's okay,period." "Iagree.Wedon'tknowherstateofmindrightnoweither,"Bobbysaid. "Alright,dismissed." TBC Chapter9 Stephanie'sPOV IjustgotoffthephonewiththeRangemanattorneyandthemergerwithNash'scompanywas finalexceptforsigningthepaperwork.BingandNashwouldbeheretomorrowwiththeir attorney. We'llgivethematourandacompanyorientationandthenmaybewecanhaveawelcometo Rangemandinnerpartyforthem.IdialedElla'sextensiontochatwithheraboutit. AboutthetimeIhungupthephone,thedoorburstopenandinflewJakefollowedbyLester.Jake jumpedinmylapandnearlythrewmychairallthewayback."Whoa,Boy!"Igiggled.Hewas nearlyfullgrownandgettingtobealottohandle.Hisenergylevelwasthroughtheroofandwe

weretalkingaboutstartingsomeprofessionaltrainingforhimsoon. Lesterwaspanting.Hesaid,"IcantakeTankonagooddayonthematsbutthatdogwearsme out." Ilaughed,"Ithinkit'stimetolettheprostakeover.Hecan'tberunningallovertheplaceknocking peopleoutoftheirchairsandstealingstuffandhangingoutbythelounge.Thatpoornewguy Vincesatonsomefoodsomebodyhadleftinthechairtheotherdayinthelounge.Whenhegot uphehadpartofasandwichstucktohisbuttandJakeattackedhisass.Bitaholeintheguy's newcargos."Lesterwaslaughing. Lestersaid,"Icancheckintosomeobediencetrainingforhimclosebyandmeandtheguyswill taketurnstakinghim.He'sgreattorunwithoutside.He'sdisruptiveinthegymthoughwhen thereareseveralguysworkingout.Hegrowlsandgetsexcitedwhenwe'reonthemats.Vince's isnottheonlyasshe'sattackedandhekeepstryingtoherd250poundguys."Webothstarted laughingatthat. ThenIthoughtforaminute.Lester,"Howishegettinguptothegymlevel?" "Well,you'renotgoingtobelievethisbuthe'stakingtheelevatorandhe'susingthestairs.He sneaksintheelevatorandheknowshowtopushthebarsonthefiredoors.We'vebeen watchinghimonthecameras.Hewatcheseverything.He'sasmartdog." "You'renotkidding?"Maybeweneedtoextendhistrainingbeyondwhatwewerethinking.Like policedogandsecurity.Aretheretimeswhenhecouldhelpyouguys?" "Yeah,Icanthinkofafewtimeswecouldhaveusedadog.Theycansmellandalertustostuff wecan'tsee,theycanfindpeople,andsmellexplosives.Goodpolicedogscantakeaguy down." "Howaboutsometakeoutandamovieatyourplacetonight,gorgeous?" "Okay,whatareyouinthemoodfor?HaveyouhadChineseinawhile?IthinkI'mcraving Chineseandjeezscrapplejustpoppedinmyhead." Lestergrimaced,"What?Imightthrowup." "Betteryouthanme.I'mgladthatpart'sover,"Igiggled. Lestercametothedoorwithbeer,Chinesetakeout,picklesandicecream.Ilookedatitand raisedaneyebrow. "Iamnotwatchingyoueatthatothershit.Cravenormalstuff." Wesatdownonthecouchandmydoorbellrang.IpeepedthroughtheholeanditwasMorelli minusBob.Iopenedthedoor."HeyJoe,wanttojoinusforsomeChinesetakeout?" "Sure,butIwashopingIcouldtalktoyouinprivate." "IthinkIalreadyknowwhatyouwanttotalkaboutandyoucantalkinfrontofLester.He'sknows morethanMaryLouaboutmethesedays."Igothimabeerandaplateandafork.Weallmoved tothediningroomtable. JoelookedatLesterandthenatme,"I'mjustgoingtocomeoutandaskthebigquestion.Could thebabybemine?" "NoJoe.Iknowthatforsure.Ihadmyperiodrightafterwebrokeup.It'sRanger'sorNash's baby." Heactuallylookedkindofsad."WhereisRanger?Whyisn'thewithyou?" "It'scomplicatedrightnowJoe.He'sonamissionsomewhere." "Hereallydidhurtyoudidn'the?Whydoyouwanttogobacktohim?"

"HehurtmemoreemotionallythanphysicallyandIhaveforgivenhim.Hemadeamistake.Joe, you'vedonethesametome.Ilovehimandhemightbethefatherofmychild.Youareoneof mybestfriendsandIdoloveyou.Wehavealonghistory,butwewouldn'tbehappyina marriage.IknowthatforsurebecauseofNash.So,don'tbelisteningtomymother.Iknowshe's callingyou." "Yeah,she'sdrivingmecrazy.Iloveyoutoo.Ijusthadtobesurethatthebabymightnotbe mine.Iknowyou'vechangedandyourlifehaschangedandI'mprettyproudofyouCupcake.If youneedanythinganytimeyoucallme.Idon'tmuchlikethethoughtofyoubyyourselfright now." Withthatconversationovertherestofthemealwasgood.WetoldJoeaboutJake'sescapades atworkandhewaslaughingandsayinghewasgladhedidn'thavetogothroughBob'spuppy year.WhenthemealendedIwasreallytiredallthesudden.Lesterlookedatmeandsaid,"I'll takearaincheckonthemoviegorgeous".HeandMorellibothkissedmeonthecheekandleft. ThenextdayIwassoexcitedwhenBingandTriggarrived.Wewerealldowninthegarage waitingwhentheycalledtotellustheywerenearingthebuilding.Therewerehugsand handshakesandhighfivesandfistbumps.Wewereallsohappyaboutthemerger. Wedidthefinalpaperworkandtheorientation,Rangemanconfidentialitycontracts,andthenthe tour.IshowedthemmyoldcubiclewhereIfirststartedandwenttoHector'stoseewhathewas workingon.Iwasgoingtoshowthemanexampleofsomeoftheadvancedprogramswehad accesstohereatRangeman.WhenIlookedathisscreen,Ifroze.ItwasanemailfromRanger. WhenIfinishedreading,theroomstartedgoingfromcolortoblackandwhitetojustblackand thesoundbecamemutedandthenIfeltlikeIwasfalling. IwokeupinLester'sapartmentonhisbed.Ellaandawholegroupofguyswerehoveringover me.Bobbywassittingnexttomecheckingmyvitals."Steph,whathappened?Doyou remember?" IlookedfromBobbytoTanktoLester."Hesentamessageandyoudidn'ttellme.Hesaidhe's notcomingback!" Bobbysaid,"Wedon'tknowifsomethinghappenedonthemission.We'retryingtofindout wherethatemailoriginated.Wedidn'twanttoupsetyouyetincasewegotsomegoodnews. Thisisexactlywhatwedidn'twanttohappen.Pleasedon'tbemadatus.Heaskedustolook afteryou." Bobbyaskedeveryoneifhecouldhaveaprivatewordwithme.Wheneveryonewasoutthe door,Bobbyspoke."Ineedtoaskyouiftherehasbeenanythingunusualabouthisbehaviorthis lastsixmonthsorso?It'simportantthatyoutellme." Inodded."HewasactingdifferentafterIalmostdrownedandthenIcan'ttalkaboutthedayI left." "Whatdidhedo?"Bobbyasked. "Helosthistemperreallybadandscaredme.Hewastreatingmelikedheownedme."Bobby nodded."Afterwardshewasdifferenttoo.ThedayItoldhimaboutNashandtostopcallingme, hewasbeggingandhejustdoesn'tdothat.Thenheupandleftandsaiditwasforatonement." "Steph,I'msorrythathehurtyou.Hemaynotbeinagoodplaceinhisheadrightnow.Hemay betryingtopunishhimself.Givehimthebenefitofthedoubtuntilwecanfindhimandgethim homeandgethimevaluated.We'llusesomecontactsbutwedon'twantfriendsinhighplaces

toknowabouthispossiblestateofmind.Whenasoldierthatdoeshiskindofworkgoesoffthe radarinthisway,heisconsiderednolongeranasset.DoyouunderstandwhatI'msaying?" "Areyousayinghe'sindangerfromthepeopleheworksfor?" Bobbynodded. "LetusworkonthisSteph.Trustusandrightnow,untilyouhavereasonnotto,youtrusthim." Wegotbacktothedinnerpartyandwerediscussingthetraining. IwantedtogetoutofTrentonforawhile.Mymotherwasleavingseveralmessageseachday, myfriendswereleavingmessagesaskingmequestionsIdidn'twanttoansweryet.MaryLou hadleftmeanicemessagesayingthatshewouldn'tpressuremefordetailsandthatshe wantedtogivemeababyshower.Thatwassweet,she'smygirl. Ispokeup,"Tank,IwouldliketogowithacoupleofguystoSpringfieldifthat'sokay.Weneed HectorandoneofhisteamforsureforprogramsandsecurityandmaybeLesterfortherest.I thinkIknowenoughtogetthemgoingoncontracts,proposalsandsupplies.Lesterwouldyou mindgoingwithme?" Hegrinned,"Mightaswelltakethebestgorgeous."Everybodyrolledtheireyes,evenBingand Trigg.Theyhadgottenhisparticularnumberwhenwevisitedforthefoundationdedication.About thattime,JakeattackedandsnatchedarolloutofBingandTrigg'sattorney'shandandbolted beforeanyonecouldcatchhim. "I'mleavingJaketofinishhisobediencetraining,"Isaid.Everybodystartedlaughing. ThatnightIdecidedtocallJustineandaskherifJohn'shousehadbeensold.Wehadbeen talkingaboutonceaweekandwerebecomingreallyclose.Idialedher."Hello,Dear.Howare you?" "I'mprettygood.Howaboutyou?""Wonderful." "Howisthepregnancynow?Feelingbetter?" "Muchbetter.I'mgladthesicknessisgone." "Thispartofthepregnancyistheeasiestupuntilyougettoaboutsevenmonths.Ijust rememberthecravings." "Yep,gotthose.I'mgrossingouttheguysatworkonaregularbasisnow.It'shardforthemnot togagwhenI'mmakingthosesoundsIdowhenI'meatingsomethingthatlookslikeroadkill." Shestartedlaughing. "Iwantedtoaskyouaquestion.HaveyousoldJohn'shouseyet?" "It'sstillonthemarket.Therealtorjustsaidit'sabadtimerightnow." "Couldmycompanybuyit?Becauseoftheworkwedoweneedsafehousesandthentheguys travelingbackandforthwillneedaplacetostay.I'mgoingdowntohelpBingandTriggtrainand needaplacetostay.Asuncomfortableasitmightbe,thereisnootherplacethatIwouldwantto buy." "Stephanie,it'smygifttoyou.Mysonwouldbeveryhappytoknowthatyouhaverefugeinhis home." "YouhavealreadygivenmetoomuchJustine.Iinsistonbuyingit." "Nonsense.Idon'tneedthemoney.MyLucasisverywealthytoo." "I'llcalltherealtortomorrowandhaveherleavethekeyswiththeboysthere." "HaveItoldyouhowmuchIloveyoulatelyJustine?" "IwouldlovetobringLucasandcometakecareofyouwhileyou'rethere.Wouldyoumind?"

"No,Iwouldactuallyreallylikethat.I'llcallwhenIgetthere." "Loveyoudear,"andwedisconnected. TBC Chapter10 AweeklaterIwaspreparingtoleavewhenTankcalledmetohisoffice.Wehadalittlegamewe allplayed. "TanktoBomber,comein." Ipushedmybutton,"Preggershere,whatcanIdoyoufor?" "Canyoucometomyoffice?...out." "Onmywayoverandout." Tank,LesterandBobbyweretherewhenIarrived."What'supguys?" Tanksaid,"Iain'tkeepingnothingelsefromyoudoll.Wefinallyfoundoutwherethatemail originated.ItwassentfromLahore." "Whereisthatexactly?" Therewerenosmilesonthosefaces."Itistheoldestandmostwellknownredlightdistrictin Pakistan.It'sinfamous,"Bobbysaid. Iwastakingdeepbreathstryingnottopassout."Lahore,likeinwhore?Yousaidthatlikeyou wereinfuckingawe.He'snotsickorindanger!He'sthinkingwithhispenis!Well,screwhimI'm finishedwithhisass!" "STOPlittlesister!"Tankbellowed."Wedidn'ttellyouthistohurtyou.Wetoldyoutobehonest withyou.Didn'tBrowntellyouthathemightnotbethinkingstraightrightnow?Youdon'tknow nothin'aboutthepostcombatfever.Rangerisdamngoodatwhathedoes.Toogood.Ifaman goesbelowthatacceptablerangeofdark,he'sintrouble.Ifhediditinhispersonallife,he'sin realtrouble.Youcanbehissalvationoryoucanhelpbehisend.What'syourchoice?How muchdoyoulovehim?He'smostlikelynotherebecausehe'safraidhe'llhurtyou." Tearsstartedrollingdownmyface."Ihaven'tbeeninwar.Idon'tunderstand.Hisheartshould haveledhimhomehispenisledhimtoabrothel.I'mleavingTrentonandI'mswearingoffmen. I'mgettingafuckinggirlfriend.I'mgoingtobealesbian!"Iturnedtoleavetheroom,glanced sidewaystoseethreegrinningfaces.IflippedthemabigJerseyonefingersalute."Andwipethat twistedgrinoffyourfaceSantos!" Lesterranoutandgrabbedme."Holdon,sayyourgoodbyeswhileIgetmystuff.I'mgoingwith you.HectorandBinkyareridingseparate." WewenttomyapartmentandgotmybagandtoldDillonthesuperIwasleavingforawhileandI gavehimacheckforacouplemonthsrent.Helookedsadwhenhesawthepaininmyfaceand kissedmeonthecheek."I'lllookafteryourapartment.Youtakecareofyourself." LesterdroveandpointedmyLexustowardSpringfield.IcalledmyGrandmaMazurontheway outoftown.Shehasherowncellphonenow. "Howisittherenow?" "Crappy." "I'msorryGrandma." "Stephie,it'snotbecauseofyou.Yourmotherwon'tpullherpincurlsoutofherass.She'stoo

fargone.She'storturingpoorValnow.I'mdoingthebestIcanbutmyHelenisrelentless." "I'mheadedtoVirginiaandI'mgoingtobethereforawhile." "Yougotsomeonetolookafteryou?" "Yes,I'maluckygirlinthatdepartment.Ihavelotsoffriends,"andIlookedoveratLester.He gavemeawink. "Youcangoandfindyourwaylittlesuperwoman.Iloveyou." "ThankYouGrandma." Ishedafewtearsandsleptalongtheway.Wearrivedattheofficebefore1700hoursRanger timeandcaughttheguysbeforetheyleft.Theyhuggedmeanddidtheirownversionofashake withLesterandhandedusthekeystothehouseandtheoffice. WhenwearrivedatthehouseIwastakingbigbreathsandLestertookmyhand.Weenteredthe houseandwalkedintothefoyer.Therewerenolongersmellscomingfromthekitchenor warmthfromthefireplace.IranupstairsintoNash'sroomandtothecloset. Iclosedmyeyesandsighed.EverythingwasthesameexceptNash'spersonalitemswere gone.Lestercameupbehindmeandhuggedme."Youokaygorgeous?" "Yeah,let'sgogetsomegroceriesandmaybesometakeoutfortonight." Wefoundagoodplacetoeatcomfortfoodandgotsomegroceriesonthewayhome.Lester waslikemewhenhewasn'ttotallyunderRanger'sinfluenceandhewouldeatthejunkfoodwith me.Sowegotcansofcinnamonrollsandturnoversandrealcreamforourcoffee.Yum. WhenIwenttogetintothebedthatnightinthemasterbedroomIbalkedandstartedcrying. MemoriesfloodedmeandIjustcouldn'tsleepthere.IwalkedtoLester'sdoorandIslowlyturned theknobandopenedit.ItwasthecomfortingroomIhadsleptinduringmystaywithNashthatI lovedsomuch.ItookastepintotheroomandLesterevervigilantopenedhiseyesandlookedat me.Hesmiledandpulledthecoversdownnexttohimininvitation. "Well,Idon'tthinkIcansleepintheotherroomrightnowanddoyouhavesomethingonunder thosecovers?"Hepulledthecoversdownalittlefurtherandrevealedhisboxers. "Really,SuperMan?"Igrinnedandgotinnexthim.Heputhisarmsaroundmeandpulledme close. "Sweetdreams,gorgeous,"hewhispered,"thestudmanisondutyandnomeanbastardswill interruptyourdreamstonight!" "StudMan,really?"ImurmuredandthenIfeltitupagainstmybackside.OkayIgetit.OhBoy,do Igetit."Lesterputyourflagdown.HowamIsupposedtosleep?" "Ican'thelpthatgorgeousyourbuttfeelssogoodtouchingmethere.""Wellthinkofsomethingto turnitoffplease."Inaboutoneminutetheflagwassuddenlydown. "WhattheheckdidyouthinkofordoIwanttoknow?" "YourGrandmaMazurlatchingontoit."Igiggled. "GoodnightLes." Lester'sPOV Myeyesslammedopen.Damnmybodyandbrain.I'mprobablygoingtogetmyasskilledand thenI'mgoingtohell.Stephaniewasstillasleepbutshewashalflayingonhersideandhalfon topofmewithherlegstangledinmineandshewasgrindingmymorningwoodandmakinglittle

moaningsounds.Rangeryou'reonestupidmotherfuckertoleavethiswomanIthought. Betweenthegrindingandthesoundsshewasgoingtomakemecum.Iclosedmyeyesand concentrated.IfshewantedreleaseIwasgoingtolether.Shestartedbreathingharderand movingfaster.WhenIfeltherstarttospasmIletmyselfgo. Thenhereyesslammedopenandrealizationsetinandsheshrieked. "OmigodLester!WhatdidIdo?"SherolledoffmeandstartedtojumpoutofthebedandI grabbedherarm. "WaitSteph,please."Shestoppedhermomentumandlayflatbreathinghard."Wedidn'thave sex.Webothhadawetdream.Averygoodone.Talktome." "Lester,I'msosorry.DamnRangeranddamnthesepregnancyhormones.I'vebeenhaving reallystrongahfeelingslately.Iattackedyouinyoursleep.I'msoembarrassed." Itookherhandandkissedit."Whatyou'resayingisthatyou'rebasicallyhorny.GladIcouldhelp withthat."Bigwolfgrin. Thenshesmackedmehard."Oww!Thathurt." "Dammit,I'msocrazyrightnowwiththesehormonesLester.Idon'tknowwhethertolaughor cry,comeorgo.Oh,shitdon'tyousayaword!" "Icouldhelpyouwiththisyouknow.I'mgoodatthis." "What?ShutupLester.I'mnottalkingaboutthis.I'mgettingup." Shegotoutofbedandheadedtothebathroom. Stephanie'sPOV Iletthewaterwashovermeandcursedmyself.HowcouldIhavedonethat?I'mso embarrassedIdon'tevenwanttoleavetheshower.I'msuchaslut! Whatdidhejustoffer?Himtoreplacemyshowermassager?Ihavebeensodamnhornylately itwasmakingmecrazy.MylastthoughtlastnightbeforeIwenttosleepisthatIwishIcould havegrabbedthathardonandrodeitlikeZorrohavingmymerrywaywithit.WhatdidIdothis morninglordhelpme?IrodeitlikeZorroinmysleep.DamnyouRanger.Nowlookwhatposition you'veputmein.Thisisallyourfault! WhatIwasworriedaboutwasmyrelationshipwithLes.Ilovedhimanddidn'twanttodo anythingtolosethefriendshipweshared.IwasfrustratedandhurtandIwaspregnant.Icouldn't haveasexualrelationshipwithanyone.Iwasgoingtohavetobuyseveralnewshower massagers.Turbos! Ranger'sPOV Farfrombeingherded,terroristsarerunningfree,dispersingandhiding,asadiminishedstate strugglestocope.Largepartsofthecountryarenogoareas,evenforthemilitary.Operations areannouncedandthencancelledonsomepretextoranother,whiletheenemyperfectstheart ofmurder. Theyonlygetseriousaboutsecurityaftercertaininstallationshavebeenattacked.Theyarenow diggingatrencharoundPeshawarairporttoguardagainstexplosivesladenvehicles.It'slike boltingthestabledoorafterthehorsehasfled.AnyonewouldhaveknownPeshawarairportwas

aninvitingandobvioustargetbecauseitisusedbyjetfightersandgunshiphelicoptersthat carryoutaerialstrikesagainstthemilitants. TheydidnotthinkaboutthepossibilityofsuchanattackevenaftertheattacksontheMehran andKamrabases.Itwasluckyfiveoftheterroristsblewthemselvesupbyaccidentorelsethey wouldhavebeeninsidethebasewreakinghavoconbrandnewChinesesuppliedfighteraircraft. TobetoldthatthepoliceinPeshawarfoughtbravelyisnoconsolation.Ofcoursetheydidthey foughtheroically,infact.Butbeingbrave,orbeingpreparedtodie,isnotthepoint.That'sarisk allwhojointhearmedforcesandthepolicemusttake. Isthegovernmentawarethatwellorganizedpoliticalandmediacampaignsbyterrorist organizationscanblurthelineofresponsibilitybetweentheiractsandthatofthemilitary,thereby enablingthemtousecollateraldamageandsufferingaspoliticalweaponsofwar?Inareasof Swat,forinstance,damagetopropertywasblamedonthemilitaryandcleverlyexploitedtoshow itinabadlight.Ifso,what'sourcounternarrative?TheBohracommunityofKarachimaybe next. Andisthegovernmentfullyawarethatsuccessdependsontheefficiencyofourintelligence apparatustodiscoverwhereterroristsareholedupandonthecapabilityofoursecurityforcesto actontheinformation?That'shardlyevidentbecausetheseinstitutionsremainbadlyorganized andpoorlyled,muchlikemostgovernmentdepartmentsunlessthepoolofintelligence gatherersandanalysiscapabilitiesarevastlyaugmentedandimproved. FoolsareinaterriblyoverwhelmingmajorityinPakistan.Whyelsewouldtheerstwhileformer primeministeradvisehiscountrymentoleavethecountryiftheycouldnothackitanymore? Whatsortofamessagedoesthatsend?Manyaretakinghisadvice,atleastthosewhocan affordit.Butinsteadofblamingtheirleaderstheyarecursingfate,whichisabsurd. Thegovernmentwon'testablishitsmoralauthority,terroristsrunamok,theyhide,andtheyneed todisappear.Iwillmakethemdisappear (PartsofthiscomefromformerambassadorZafarHilaly) TBC Chapter11 Stephanie'sPOV ImadecoffeeandLesterputthecinnamonrollsintheoven.Lesterwasgrinningandhumming liketheCheshirecatthatatethecanary.Iwenttothelivingroomandgrabbedmyphoneand calledJustine."GoodmorningDear" "Morning.We'reinSpringfield.Comewhenyou'reready." "We'lltakeaflightinthemorning.Lucashassomethingstotakecareoftoday." "Whenyougethere,wouldyoumindgoingwithmetoanOBGYNmydoctorrecommended here?" "Notatall.That'swhyI'mcoming.TobethereforyouinanywayIcan." "Thanks,I'lltellEllayou'retakingoverherjob,"Ilaughed. "CallmewithyourflightinfotomorrowandLesterandIwillcomegetyouattheairport." "Fine,seeyouthenStephanie."

LesterhadthebunsoutoftheovenandwasputtingthemonaplateandIgottheorangejuice andputplatesonthetable.Wesatdownandhekeptgrinningatme.Islappedhimontheback oftheheadandpointedmyfinger."Wearegoingtoforgetaboutthatlittleaccidentthismorning, understand?" "I'mkickingyoursnarkybutttotheotherguestroombecauseIwantyours.ItwastheoneI stayedinwhenIwaswithNash.JustineandLucasarecomingtomorrowandtheycanstayin themastersuite." Hewiggledafingeratmegrinning."WellI'mstillofferingmyservicesifyouneedme.I'mreally good." "We'restoppingatthehardwarestoreonthewaytotheofficeandyou'regoingtohaveajobto dowhenwegethomelater.Problemwillbesolved.I'mtryingtokeepRangerfrommakingus bothdisappear." Lesterdroveustotheoffice.BingandTriggwerealreadytherewaitingforus.BinkyandHector arrivedshortlyafter.Ihuggedthemboth.Theyintroducedustothesecretary,Lisa.Shewasa prettywomanandshehadassets.Lesterhomedinrightawaysittingonherdeskandaskingher questions."Lester,"Ibarked,"Behave.Noharassingthehelp.Ready,guys?"Theybothgrinned andnodded. "Doyouguyshaveanyskipsyouneedtorounduptoday?" "Wehavetocheckwiththebondsofficestodaybutwe'recaughtupsowecouldbehere." "Good,Hectorisgoingtobeworkingonyourcomputersandinstallingnewhardwareand softwaretoday.Thenhe'llbegintrainingeachofyouonthoseprogramsandthentheywillboth beginthesecuritytraining.LesterisgoingtobeheretohelpwithfugitiveapprehensionsothatI canhaveatleastoneofyoutrainingatalltimes."Theybothnodded. "I'llstartwithbothofyouonsuppliersandcontracts.IhaveaCDforyouwithallofthat informationonit."IhandedittoHectortoload.Hectorshouldbedonebylunch.Let'sgotoyour conferenceroomandLesandIwillrundownallthebasicsandtheservicesRangeman providesandwe'llgetyoursuppliesanduniformsordered.Wehaveasupplierforvehiclestoo. Rangerisasticklerforsafetyandprofessionalism.Allvehiclesarenomorethanacoupleof yearsoldandarewellmaintained.Weaponshavetobecleaned,servicedandwellmaintained. You'realsogoingtogetanewarsenalandyou'regoingtobetrained.Wehaveacoupleoftypes ofgovernmentcontracts.Rangerhasaspecialteamforonetypeandthenwehaveminorjobs wedoaswell,whichyouguyscanhandleinyourarea.Securityisourbiggestbusiness.Both electronicandpersonalisgrowing.You'llneedtobeginhiringsomeguys.Tankhassomegood contactsforexmilitarywithspecialties.You'llneedaHectortooacomputerandelectronics geniusandIwinkedatHector."Hegrinnedbackatme. "Whatthe?"LesterandIbothdidadoubletake."Didhejustgrin?" Lestersaid,"IonlycaughtaglimpsebutIthinkhedid.DamnSteph,yousoundlikeamini Rangerexceptwithbetterparts."Helookeddown."IthinkIgotwood." Ipointedmywarningfingerathim."Lester,lessthanatinybreezewillraiseyourflag.Itoldyou tobehave."Bing,Trigg,BinkyandevenLisawerelaughing. Weworkedthroughthemorningandthenallofuswenttolunch.Wewenttoalocaldinerthat hadfantasticcomfortfoodandthebiggestpiesandcakesyou'veeverseen.Ihadabigjuicy friedporkchopwithmashedpotatoesandgravyandgreenbeansandabigsliceofapplepiea

lamode. IwasstarvingandhalfwaythroughmymealIfeltalleyesonme.Ilookedupwithmymouthfull, "Wha..?" Lesterlookeddown."Igotwoodagain."Bingraisedhisfinger,"Metoo."Triggraisedhisfinger, "Methree."Binkyraisedhis,"Mefour."Hectorshookhisheadno.Theywereallchuckling. Mymouthstillfull,"Aw..shu..u..yu..per..berts!"Lisastartedgiggling. Afterlunch,HectorandIspentequaltimewithBingandTrigguntiltheendoftheday.Ikissed thembothonthecheekandLesterandIdepartedbacktothehouse. Lesterlookedatme."YouareexhaustedSteph.We'lleatsandwichesandI'llmoveyoutomy roomandtuckyouin.I'llinstallyourshowermassageturbosforyou,"andhewinked.Iflipped himtheJerseybird. "ThanksLes,Ireallyamtiredtonight."WeatesandwichesandchipsandIfollowedhimtohis bedroom.WhenheleftIchangedandfloppedwearilyintothebedandfellintoadreamless sleep. ThenextmorningIwokeupfeelingprettygoodandblessLes,he'smyguy.Hehadmyshower massageturboreadytogo. Itestdrovethatsuckertoitslimits. IwentdownstairsandLeshadalreadyputcoffeeonandtheturnoversexceptthecoffeehad becomeanoffensivesmell.Dobabiesknowinstinctivelywhat'snotgoodforthem?Inormally lovedthesmellofcoffeebutthismorning,yuck. "Mornin'Les,"andIkissedhimonthecheek."Didyousleepwell?" Hegrinned."Notasgoodasyesterday." "Oy,youarenevergoingtoforgetthatareyou?Soshithappens.Youhavenoideatheraging feverthatismypregnantbodyrightnow.Yesterday,Ilovedthesmellofcoffee.Todayitmakes mewanttobarf." "Youhaveaglow.Didyouenjoyyourshower?" "Lester,ifyoudon'tstopworryingaboutmyprivatesandforgetthatincidentIwillsendyouback andhaveHalcomeouthere." Wewenttotheofficeandcommencedwiththetrainingagain.LesterandTrigglefttotracka coupleofskipsmidday.HectorandBingfinishedgoingovertheRangemanprogramstogether.I gotachancetotalktoLisaalittleandsheseemstoreallybeanicegirl.Sheseemedalittle intimidatedbyLesterbutwasreallyinterestedinBinky.Ithoughtthatwasreallycute.Ireassured herthatshemightbeworkingwithabunchofbigbeefytoughguysbuttheywerethesweetest guysintheworld.Ilovedthemalllikebrothers. Whentheguysgotback,ItoldthemIhadanidea.IaskedHectorifhethoughtBinkycoulddohis jobinthisoffice.Hectorshruggedandsaid,"Chure."IaskedBinky,"Wouldyouliketotransfer hereandworkinthisofficeastheofficeprogrammerandtech?"HelookedovertoLisaand grinned."Hell,yeah!" "Okaythen,thatisonejobfilled,"Igrinned,happywithmymatchmakingself. Justinecalledaboutlunchtimeandtoldusthattheywerescheduledtoarriveat Washington/Dullesairportat5:20pm.LesterandItookoneoftheSUV'sandwenttopickthem up.JustinecameofftheplanebeamingandIrantoherandhuggedherlikealifeline.Ihadn't realizedhowmuchIneededheruntilIsawher.

Instinctivelyfeelingmypain,shewhispered,"ShhI'mherenow,"andshehuggedme. "Everythingisgoingtobeokay.I'llstayaslongasyouneedme." IhuggedLucasandtoldhimhowhappyIwasthathewashere.LesterandLucasshookhands andJustinegavehimakissandahug. WedrovebacktothehouseandLesterdepositedtheirluggageinthemastersuite.Iexplained toJustinethatIwasn'tpersonallycomfortablethere.Shejustnodded.Wedecidedtoordertake outpizzaandchatinthekitchen.Lucasturnedouttobereallywittyandcharming.Ireallyliked himandIcouldtellthatJustinelovedhim. ThatnightIhadthemostincredibledream.IwasridingthisbeautifulwhitehorseandeverytimeI bouncedupanddownonhiswonderfulbackitwouldgivemethemostincrediblesensations andthenIclimaxedandshivered.Ilovedthishorse.WhenIwokeupandwenttothebathroom toshowerInoticedmypantiesweresoaked.Jeez,whatadreamIthought. Tankcalled."Bomber,wegotsomeIntel.Wemightbeabletofindhim.MeandBobneedtogo andwearegoingtotakeRam.Youareinchargeofthecompany.Canyouhandlethatlil'sis?" "Yes,getthebossestogetherandI'llhaveHectorsetupaSkypeVideosession.Youneedtobe thereandreleasethereinstome.Thentheywon'targueoverauthority.""TenFourBomber,call youback." Firstandsecondsincommandwereonconferenceforeachoffice. "Gentleman,thisisStephaniePlum.Sheishalfownerandsecondincommandofthe Rangemancompany.SheisatrustedandequalpartnerwithRanger.Shehasyourbackand yourlivesjustasIwould.Bobby,Ram,andIwillbeleavingonamissiontoassistRanger. Bomberisatthehelm." "Bombergoahead,"Tanksaid."Ah..guys,IknowthatnotallofyouknowmeyetbutIdocare aboutthiscompanyandallofyou.I'minSpringfield,VAnowtrainingournewofficeandIam opentoanycalls,anyvisits,oranyquestions.Iwouldalsoappreciateyoursupportandhelp whileRangerisaway.HeisourleaderandIwouldliketomakehimproud.Wearegrowingthe companywhichisgoodforallofus.SocanIhearaHooah?"Iheardahugehooahandwegot yourback.Thankgoodness."Okaythen,howaboutameetingonceperweekonMondaysat say1000Rangertime?"Theychuckled,"NoproblemBomber." "Okay,talktoyounextweekguys." Ileaneddownandputmyheadbetweenmyknees.Lesterwasthereandwhispered,"Let'sgo homeSteph."YoucanputyourfeetupandI'llgiveyouafootmassage.Hedidtheeyebrow waggle. "I'mjusttootiredtoargueLes."Hepickedmeupandcarriedmetothecarandsetmein.He said,"Steph,jokesaside,Iamreallyworriedaboutyou." "I'llbefine.Ifeelselfishwantingyoutobewithmethroughallthismess.But,ifyouandJustine arewithme,IfeellikeIcandothis." Lester'sPOV Iwantedtokickthatstupidfucker'sass.Hiswomanwassuffering.Insteadofrunninga testosteronefueledcompanysheshouldbehomerestingandtakingcareofherselfandher baby.

Theirliveswereatrisk.Stephwassosmallandslim.Evenwithherbellygrowing,sheshould havebeentwentypoundsheavier.Shewastryingtobesostrong.Sheneededsomeonethat lovedhertakingcareofhereveryday.Evenwithasmileonhersweetface,Isawherpain. Everyheavyemotionknowntomanwastormentingherbodydayandnight.Iwanted desperatelytohelpher.Ijustdidn'tknowhowtodoitwithouthurtingourfriendshipandhurting herandthatstupidfuckIcallmybrotherRanger. IcarriedhertoherroomandtoldhertorestandIwouldbeback. Igotsomeofherlotionoutofthebathroomandbroughtitback.Isqueezedaliberalamountinto myhandsandpickedupafootandbegantomassage. "Ummm,Lesthatfeelssogood."Imessagedhercalvesandthenmovedtotheotherfootand leg."RolloveronyoursideSteph." ShedidandIpushedhershirtupandmassagedfromthebaseofherspineallthewayupandin afewminutesIheardlittlesnores. Ilaydownbesideherandputmyarmaroundher.IfIhadawomanlikethis,Iwouldbethe luckiestbastardintheworld,Ithought. InalittlebitJustinepeekedherheadinandsaidthatdinnerwasready. IrousedStephandsaid,"TakeawhiffSteph.Let'sfollowournosestothekitchen." "Mmnn,whatisit?Itsmellssogood." "Leanonmeandwe'llcheckitout,"Ichuckled. TBC Chapter12 Stephanie'sPOV ArrivinginthekitchenIsaid,"Yum,whatareyoucookingthatsmellssodarngoodJustine?" Justinelaughed,"It'sbeeftipsinwinesauceandvegetablesinbuttersaucewithmyTexas chocolatecake." "Omigosh,Johntoldmeaboutthatcake.Hesaidwe'dneedtoeatitinprivate,Iwouldlikeitso much." Shelaughed,"Thatistheone.Youcangetdrinksdear.Lucas,youputouttheplatesand silverware.Lestergrabthoserollsoutoftheovenforme." Weallsettledintodinnerandreallyenjoyedeachother'scompany.IfeltlikeIwasreallywith familyforthefirsttimeinmylife,exceptforGrandmaMazur. AfterdinnerLessuggestedIgohaveasoakinthetub.HesaidhewouldhelpJustinecleanup afterdinner. Lester'sPOV IhadsentStephofftosoakinthetubandrelax.IwashelpingJustinecleanupthedishes.Lucas wastalkingabouthisbusinessandaskedsomequestionsaboutours.Helefttogolightafirein thelivingroomandJustinelookedatme. "Lester,IseethesamelookinyoureyesthatIsawinCarlos'sthefirsttimeImethim.Youlove

hertoo,don'tyou?" Isighed,"Mrs.Nash,thereisnoonemanorwomanthatisnotaffectedbyher.Thereisnoother womanlikeher.Herwarmthdrawspeoplelikeamothtoaflame.Sheisloyalandlovinganda fiercefriendtothosesheloves.She'scompassionateeventothefugitivesshebringsin.Ican't helpbutbeinlovewithher.RangerismybrotherbutIswearifhemessesupwithheronemore time" Shehuggedme."TherearefewpeopleinthisworldlikeourStephanieandshedeservesso muchmorethanshehasendured.Sheissoinnocentshedoesn'treallyknowtheeffectthat shehasonpeople.Youhelpherandyoudon'tfeelguiltyaboutwhatyougiveeachotherduring thistime.Youjustrememberthatyourfateshavealreadybeenwritten.Sheisauniquewoman withgreatloveformanypeopleandevenmanymen.Sheisnotaverageandneverwillbe.Yours andhersandCarlos'sdestiniesarealreadywrittenmyson." Thiswomanwasreallyspecial.StephaniehadtalkedaboutNash'skindnessandIcould definitelyseewhereitcamefrom.Thiswomancaredabouteveryonearoundher.Shedrew peopleinlikeSteph.Icanseehowtheywouldbeclose.IknewalittleaboutSteph'smomand shewasknowntobea"StepfordBitch." IwentupstairstocheckonStephanie. Iknockedonthedooranditwasquiet.Iopenedthebathroomdoorandwalkedin.Stephwas asleepinthetub.Igrabbedatowelandkneltbythetubandletthewaterout.Ipickedherupand wrappedherinthetowel. Shewasonmylapandhereyesflutteredopen."Les?" "Shh,IjustfetchedyououtofthetubandI'mgoingtotuckyouinbed.Youwereasleepandthe waterwasgettingcold." "Kay,"shesaid. Shewaswastedshewassotired.Shedidn'tevencarethatIwasholdinghernaked.Idriedher completelyandcarriedhertoherroom.Ituckedherinandundressedandthengotinbeside her. Stephanie'sPOV IhadanotheroneofthosefantasydreamswhereIwasbeingpleasuredbyoneofthose romancenovelguyslikethatFabio.But,itwasn'tthatguy.Allthosecheesywordsweregoing throughmyheadlikehissmoothgentlelipsandhisroughmanlyfingersandmysilkenfoldsand heavenlynubandanexplosionoflustandpassion.Jeez,Igotta'stopreadingthosethings. Igotupthenextmorningandmadethebedandheadedofftotheshower.WhenItookoffmy panties,IthoughtshitIreallyamhavingwetdreams. Ifiredupmyturboandgotreadyfortheday. Heavenlysmellswerecomingfromdownstairsagain.Itwaspancakesandsausageandfruit. "Yummy,Justine." Lesterwasalreadyeatingandgrinning.IkissedeveryoneonthecheekendingwithLes. "Morning,Les." "GoodMorninggorgeous,yousleepwell?" "YesIdid.Ifeelreallyrestedtodayandreadyformydoctor'sappointment."

Justinesaid,"Theywillprobablydoanultrasoundtoday.Doyouwanttoknowthebaby'ssex?" IwashitwithasuddenpangofpanicandsadnessandterrorandIfeltsick.No,Idon'twantto knowanything.Idon'twanttoIdon'tIcan'tdothis.IstartedtosobandIgotupandleftthe room. IwaslyingonthebedcryingwhenLesteropenedthedoor.Hecameoverandsettlednexttome andputhisarmaroundme."Gorgeous,youcandothis.Ifyoudon'twanttoknowanydetails aboutthebabythat'sfine.Youhavepeopleherethatloveyouandwillhelpyougetthroughthis.I amsosorrythatRangerandNasharenothereforyou.Weallcare.Mrs.Nash?Howabouther foradreammother?" Irolledoverandlaughed."IknowIlovethatwoman."Itouchedhissweetface,"Thankyou Lester,Iloveyou,"andIgentlykissedhimonthelips.Lesterrubbedhishanddownmybackand deepenedthekiss. Ipushedhimback."NoLester,thisisjustwrong." Hegotoutofthebedandlookedatme."WellJustinethinksthatitisn't.Rangerisnotherefor youbutIam.Iwouldneverstandinthewayofyouandhim.He'smybrotherandIlovehimtoo. But,youneedsomeone,youneedamanrightnowtoloveyouandtakecareofyou.He'snot hereandhedidn'tcomeback." Ibegantosobagain.JustthenJustineknocked.Shesatdownonthebed."Child,yourlifeisnot anormalone.Thatdoesnotmakeyoubaditmakesyouspecial.Idon'tknowwhathas happenedbetweenyouandRanger.Iamasworriedabouthimasyouare.But,youtakethelove andthehelpthatisofferedtoyourightnowanddon'tyoufeelbadaboutit.Yourhealthandthat ofyourchild'sdependsonit.Ifyouaremeanttobetogetherthenyouwillbetogether." "Nowcome,let'sdrythoseeyesandgoseeyourdoctor."Sheputherhandouttomelikea lifelineandItookit."We'llgoandhaveanicelunchandLucasandLesterwillgototheoffice today.We'llstopatthegroceryonthewayhomeandgetwhateveryouwantfordinnerandwe'll cookittogether.We'llhavefun.Okay?" Isaid,"Canwemakechocolatechipcookies?" SheandLesterbothlaughed."Ofcoursewecan." Lestersaid,"Justdon'tbringhomeanyofthatscrappleshit.Ican'twatchyoueatthat.It's againstmyreligion." "WhatreligionisthatLes?""TheTempleofLester,"hebeamed. JustineandIbothgiggled."Justineyoudon'tevenknowhowtwistedthisguyis." Thedoctorwasnice.HernamewasLucilleJenkinsandshewasinherearlyfiftiesandvery warm.ShedidtheultrasoundandJustinetoldherthatIdidn'twanttoknowdetails.ItoldJustine thatshecouldknowifshewanted.SheandthetechnicianhadworkedoutacodeandJustine wassmilingwhenwelefttheroom. Wewenttothegrocerystore."Okay,whatareyoucravingdear?" "Um,I'mthinkingmeatandtomatosauceandnoodlesandcookies." "Okay,ImaybefromTexasbutImakeameanstuffedzitiwithtomatosauceandgreattollhouse cookies." "Yum,withsomeFrenchbreadandgarlicbutter,too?" "Soundsevenbetter." "Justine,doyoumakegravyandbiscuitslikeJohn?"

"Why,yesIdo.Thatwashisfavoritebreakfast.Truecomfortfood.Wouldyoulikemetomake thatforyoutomorrowmorning?" "Wouldyoumind?Iknowit'salotoftrouble.Theyweresogoodthough.Thatwasourbest morningtogether." Shelookedsadforamomentandgavemeakissonthecheek."Gravyandbiscuitsitis.Ilove youchild." TankcalledtoletusknowtheywereenroutetoPakistan.WewerejustintoMayandIwas almosttotheuncomfortablestageofmypregnancy."Tank,Iloveyouguys,pleasetakecare." "Noproblemdoll,webegood."Hedidn'tsoundsosurethough. IwassobbingonmybedandIheardthedooropenandcloseandthelightsturnedout.ThenI heardtherustleofclothingandfeltstrongarmsenvelopingmeandthenIwasridingthewhite horsewithoutacare.Ilovethoseromancenovels. Tank'sPOV Karachi,Pakistan1800hours Ihatethisfuckingplace.Ialwayshave.Ifthereisaplacethatbirthsevilincarnate,itisthisplace. HowRangercouldstandtobehereanylongerthannecessaryisthebigfuckingquestion.What thehellwasgoingon?Thisguyneverlosthisshit. Iwassofuckingscaredforsomanypeople.Thelifeandsanityofthismanmatteredtoevery one.Hewasourrock.Rangerpleaseletusfindyoubecausewearen'ttheonlyoneswhoare lookingforyounow. Me,BobandRamhadaliaspersonasanddressedindisguisestoheadouttoLahore.Wegotin ourvehicleandheadedtoHeeraMandi,thewalledcity.Thatwasthebestplacetostartlooking. Anycriminal,terrorist,ormercenarycouldhidethere. Wewaiteduntil2300hourswhenthedistrictcametolifeandthenwestartedgoingfromdoorto door.Wewereloadedwithrupees.Wehadtopayeverytimeweenteredanewbazaar.Wehad beenthroughnearlyeverybrothelandhaddecidedtoregroupandheadtoahotelwhenIspotted afamiliarsilhouettesittingatatableoutsideacaf. Ohhellno,itcouldn'tbethiseasy.Imotionedfortheguystostopandbequiet.Iwatchedthe manforafewminutesandheeventuallyturnedtousandshookhisheadjustslightlytheno approachsign.Isignedfortheteamtobackintotheshadowsandwait. Iwasrelievedandthankful.Wehadourboyandhewasonhisgame.Nowwejustwaituntilhe makescontactandwecanseewhathe'supto.Ihaveseenhimthiswaybeforeandhe'sona mission.Hooah,mybrother.You'reokay. TBC Chapter13 Stephanie'sPOV Igotupandhummedmywaytothebathroomandhadmymorningshower.Igotoutandsniffed mywaytokitchen.Ohgoody,itwasbiscuitsandgravymorning!

"Goodmorningdear.Didyousleepwell?" "Yes,yesIdid.Whataboutyou?" "Wonderful,rightLuke?"Hewinkedatherandblewherakiss. Howcutewasthat?Ithought.IlookedatLesterandhewasgrinningatme. "MorningLes,"andIsmackedhimonthelips. Oddlythetune,"LoveShack"wasplayinginmyhead.Howweird.Thisfeltlikethefrigging twilightzonethismorning. WehadthemostscrumptiousbreakfastandIthinkLucaswasalittleembarrassedhearingmy foodorgasmsbutLesandJustinewereenjoyingtheshow. Icleanedmyplateandrubbedmybigbelly."Justine,asTankwouldsay,'youda'bomb.'That wasincredible." Shelaughed."Noonehaseverenjoyedmycookingsomuch." Tank'sPOV Wewaitedintheshadowsuntilalmostsunrise.FinallyRangergotupandmoved.Wefollowed himatadistanceandthenhecutintoabuildingafteraboutthreeblocks.Wewentinthedoor andpaidtheoldmadamandwereledupsomestairs.Anotherwomanmotionedtoadoorand wewentin. Rangerpulledthehijaboffofhisheadandlookedatus."Whatareyoudoinghere?Igave orders!" "Fuckyouman!Fuckyourorders!Ineverquestionedyoubeforeuntilnow.Youdoneleftamess athome.Youdonebrokealittlegirl'sheartagain!Youdidn'tcomehomeafteramission.Man, weain'ttheonlyoneslookingforyounow.MeandBobbyandRamareyourbrothers.You gonna'telluswhatthefuckisgoin'on?" Hesighed,"Youknowanydetailsabouttheoriginalmission? Inodded."WellalFayadwasjustpartofthecellandtheyarestillhuntingAmericansand blowingupciviliansandmilitary.IwaswithDanielswhenhediedandImethiswifewhowas readytogivebirthandIwasdamnedifIwasgoingletthoseevilbastardsjustgo!Wewereso fuckingclosetothem." "I'mstillworkingwiththeDeltacrewandwehaveIntelthattheywillbeinBohratomorrow.Idon't wantyouindanger.Youcanstayhere." "NofuckingwayRanger!Yougo,weallgo!" Hefinallysmiledandhuggedusbothandgaveusthatbrotherpatonthebackweshared. "Damn,it'sgoodtoseeyouruglyfaces,"hegrinned."Youcanstayhereandgetsomeshut eye." "ThewomenherearecleanandveryniceandIpaythemwellfortheirsilence.Theydon'thave totakemenatallundermyprotection.Theyarebeautifulandverytalentedindance.Ican alwayshinttothemthattheycanvolunteertodanceandhaveagoodexperiencewithgoodmen. Womenhaveneedstooandthesewomenaremostlybrutallyrepressed."Thenhewinked. BobbyandRamandIwerewastedbythenextmorning.WehadlivedourfantasiesandIthink thewomenhadtoo.Itwasamagicalnight.Rangerdidn'tparticipatehewasfocusedonthe missionasalways.

WemetupwithDeltateamat0800hours.RangerexplainedtothemthatBobandRamandI werethesameashimandhadcometohelpwhenhedidn'treturnstatesideaftertheoriginal mission. Weallwentovertoday'smissionplanandmovedintoplace. ThepeacelovingpeopleoftheDawoodiBohracommunityweregoingabouttheirdailybusiness oftalkingtoneighbors,shoppingforwares,returningfromthemosqueafterofferingMaghrib prayers.Mostcommunitymemberswearawhiteandgold'Topi'andthewomenwearcolorful flowinghijabscalledRida. Wespottedfoursuspiciousmenwearingdifferentattirewalkingaroundthemosqueandthen movingtothemarketarea.Theteamleadergavethenodtomoveinandpointedustothe mosquearea.Ourteamheadedinkeepingourweaponshiddenandstayingasfarawayfrom theciviliansaspossible. WhenwegottothesideofthemosqueIsawamanplantingwhatlookedlikeanexplosive device.Ifiredoneshotandhewasdown.Theshotwasmutedbythenoisysoundsoftheday andthemendraggedthebodyintotheshadows.Wewentaroundthebuildingandtothenext andspiedamanleavingacarinfrontofthebuildingandlookingaroundsuspiciously.Ashetried todisappearbetweenthebuildingsIreachedoutandgrabbedhimandsnappedhisneckinone violentmotion.Bobbypulledhisbodyintotheshadows. Almostimmediatelyweheard,"BetaTeamreport!" Rangerreported,"Missioncomplete.BetaTeamLeaderout." "AlphaTeamclear.Let'sremovetheseexplosives." Theeventsofthedayhadsavedanestimated50civilianmen,women,andchildren'slives.Not tomentionedmoreAmericanciviliandeaths.Themissionwasasuccess. "Letsgohomeboys.I'vegotadatewitharealBabe,"Rangersaid. Stephanie'sPOV LesandIwentshoppingformesomematernityclothesthismorningafterbreakfastbecausenot muchwasfittingjustright.Ifitwasbaggyinoneplace,itwastootightinanotherandviceversa. Ineededsomeofthosegrossmaternitythings. WewentinandpickedafewneutralpantsandshirtitemsandthenIspiedLesterlookingat somestufflikeacuriouslittlekid.Hehadafriggin'breastpumpinhishandandhowwasI supposedtoexplainthat. Hegrinned."Isthislikeoneofthose'penispumps'?" "What?" "Youknow,likethosepumpsthataresupposedtomakeyourdicklongerorsuckthecumoutof it?" "No,Idon'tknow,maybe,yes.Ithinkitsucksthemilkoutofyourbreast." Hegrinned."Youdon'tneedthat.Icandothatforyou." Ismackedhimonthebackofthehead."Lester,it'sforthebaby.Themilkisforthebaby.You aresotwisted!" Thenextthinghepickedupwasapairofpregnancypanties.Heheldthemupandlookedatme. "Thisisasbadasthatrepulsiveroadkillshityouwanttoeatinfrontofme.Ifeelmyself

shriveling." Igiggled."MaybeIshouldbuysomesoyouwon'tthinkaboutmyprivatesinthesameway. Comeonstupidman.Letsgetoutofherebeforeyouembarrassmeanymore." Wewereheadingtotheoffice.Leslookedoveratmeandsmiledandreachedformyhand.I smiledathim.WhenwegottotheofficeTriggandBingwereindeepconversation. "What'supguys?" "We'vegotfourskipsandtwonewsecurityproposals.We'realittleshorthandedtoday." "Noproblem.Let'sseeyourskips."Twowereminor.Isaid,"YougowithHectorandBinkyforthe securityproposals.ThosearereallyimportanttolearnrightnowandLesandIwilldothesetwo minorskips." Oneoftheskipswasawomanthathadbeencaughtshopliftingwithnopriors.ItoldLestogo therefirst. ItoldLestoletmego.Igotoutandknockedonherdoor."Yes?"thewomanwhoanswered asked. "Hi,I'mStephaniePlum.AreyouMargaretTanner? "Yes." "Youmissedyourcourtdate.Areyouokay?" Shestartedcrying."Ican'tleavethehouse.Mydaughterissick.IwasarrestedbecauseIwas stealingfoodinthegrocerystore.Myhusbandleftus." "MaybeIcanhelpyou.How'syourdaughter?CanIseeher?" Shetookmetoaroomandopenedthedoor.Alittlegirlaboutfiveyearsoldwaslyinginthebed readingabookandshedidn'thaveanyhair.IlookedatMargaret.Shemouthedcancer. "WhatishernameIasked?" "HernameisJanelle,"hermothersaid. Iwenttothelittlegirl."HiJanelle.Whatareyoureading?" "AmeliaBedelia,"shesaid. "WhatdoyoulikeaboutherJanelle?" "Well,shegetsmixedupalotbutshe'sreallynice.Shebakesgoodpiesandcakes." "Yum,Ilovepiesandcakes,doyou?" "Ireallydo.Ijusthaven'tfeltgoodenoughtoeatmuchlately." "MaybeIcanhelpwiththat."Ihuggedher. IwenttoMargaret."Givemejustaminuteandwewilltakeyoutothestationandgetyou rebonded.Iwillgetyoubailedoutmyself.ThenwewillgetyougroceriesandgetJanellethe bestcarethatwecan,Ipromise." Iwassuddenlyweakandalmoststaggeredtothedoor.Iwastryingtochokebackthetears.My heartwasgoingtoburstithurtsobadly.Mybreathingwasbecominglabored.Ihadbeenfeeling sorryformyselfandthiswomanwasgoingthroughsomethingsoawful.Ifeltsoashamed.Igot tothedoorandwavedatLes. Lestercamerunningtome."Steph?" "Lester,youtakeMargarettothestationandgetherrebonded.I'llpaythebond.Youbringher back.I'llstaywithherdaughter.Okay?" Henodded."Yousureyou'reokay.Youdon'tlookgood.Idon'twanttoleaveyou." "Youtakehernow.Andthen..andthenyoutakeMargarettothegroceryandgetthemsomefood

onthewayback.YoudothatLester."Myhandswereshaking. "Steph,I'mnotsureaboutthis." "Pleasedoitnow,Lester."Iwastryingtobefirm. HewentinandgotMargaret.IpromisedherthatIwouldnotleaveJanelle.Isatwithherandshe readmesomeofherbookandthenwenttosleep.Iwalkedoutoftheroomandsliddownthe wallinthehall.IgotmyphoneoutofmypocketandcalledTravis.Itoldhimaboutthissweetlittle girl.Hesaidthathewouldhavesomeonetocheckonthefamilytomorrowandwewoulddo everythingthatwecouldforJanelle."Thanthankyou." "Itdoesn'tmatterthecoscostTravis.I'llpay.Youhavethecontacts.LoveyouandkissJustin forme." Thepainwasnowinmyabdomenanditwassobad.IwastryingtobequietsoIwouldn'twake JanelleandthenIhadtothrowup.Icrawledtothebathroomandthrewup.Ilayonthefloor.Oh pleaseLesterhurry.Iclosedmyeyes.Issomethingwrongwithmybaby?AmIlosingmybaby? IpulledmyphoneoutandtriedtodialbutIwasshakingsobadIcouldn'tdialnumbersverywell.I triedtodial911andfinallyonthethirdtryIgotsomeone."What'syouremergency?" "Imightbehavingproblemswithmypregnancyandthereisalittlegirlhereshe'ssickwith cancer.Ican'tleaveher.Mmmyfriendandhermotherwillbebacksoon.Iwasseeingstars thepainwassobad.Pleplease.Ahhh"Thephonedroppedfrommayhandandthenthere wasnothingbutblackness. TBC Chapter14 Lester'sPOV Isawtheambulancelightsbeforewereachedthehouse.Igotoutandran.Theambulancewas abouttopullaway. "Wait!Isitawoman?Whereareyoutakingher?" "InovaFairfaxHospital,"theEMTsaid.Thentheambulancespedaway. Myheartwasinmythroat.Icouldn'tmoveforaminute.Steph. IgaveMargaretthegroceriesandheadedtoInovaFairfaxHospital. IcalledJustineandtoldthemsimplythatsomethinghadhappened. Ihadneverbeensoclosetolosingmyshit.Iknewsomethingwasn'trightwhenIleft.Ishould haveneverleftthathouse.NowStephwasheadedtothehospitalinthatambulance. Stephanie'sPOV Islowlywokeup.Thatwhiteceiling,thoselights,thatsmell.I'minahospitalagain.Ilooked aroundtheroom.Therewasn'tanyonehere.ThenIremembered.Iranmyhandovermy stomach. Therewasnothingthereanymore.Iwasusedtosomethingbeingthere.Ifeltthissorrowfulwail comingfromthepitofmystomach.Noooo!OhPlease,Nooo!Igotupslowlyoutofthebedon wobblylegsandImademywaytothedoor.Imadeittothedoorwayandcollapsed."Please

someonetellmewhereismybaby?" IwasreachingoutforhelpandIcouldn'ttalkanymore.Ihadnovoice.FaceslookedatmelikeI wasinsane.Iwasalone.IguessIdeservedit.Ididn'ttakecareofthebabygoodenough.Ididn't knowbutIwasmumblingtomyselfandleaningagainstthedoortomyroomwithmyarmsout likeahomelesspersonbeggingformybaby,graspingattheair,butnoonecouldunderstand whatIwasaskingfor. Lester'sPOV IranfromthewardbacktotheroomasfastasIcould.WhenIwalkedin,theroomwasempty.I ranoutintothecorridor. "Whereisshe?"Iyelled. Oneofthenursescameuptome."SheisbeingtransferredtoNorthernVirginiaInstitute." "Why?" "Sheissufferingpsychologicaltraumaandpossibledissociation." "What?" Shehadabreakdownhereinthedoorway.Shewasn'tabletospeakandshewas unresponsive.Thedoctoronthefloorwroteorderstogethermovedrightaway. Oh,Steph,I'msosorryIwasn'there.Iletyoudown,Ithought.IcalledJustine. "Justine,"Isobbed. "Lester?Pleasetalktomeson. "TheyaretakinghertoNorthernVirginiaInstitute,apsychiatrichospital.Shemusthavewoken upandIwasn'tthere.Ithinksheknowsaboutthebaby." "Lester,we'realmosttherebutwe'llheadtotheotherhospitalinstead.Meetusthere,"Justine said. Wearrivedatthehospitalandwaitedforanhour.Finallyadoctorcameoutandtoldusthatwe couldn'tseeStephanie.Hesaidshewasnoncommunicative,notspeakingatallandnotmaking eyecontactwithanyone.LukeandJustinewereholdinghandsandshewascryingsoftly. Hesaid,"Whatcanyoutellmethatcanhelpustotreather.Weknowthatshewentinto pretermlaboranditcouldn'tbestoppedandthatsheprobablywokeuprealizingshewasn't pregnantanylonger.Ithinkwhatsheexperiencedwasapsychiatricbreakresultingfromshock andtrauma.Ineedtoknowaboutherhistory.Hassheexperiencedothertraumarecently?Was sheunderstress?" Ijustkeptsobbingintomyhands.Justineputahandonmybacktryingtocomfortme. Justinespoke,"Doctor,sheandmysonwerecloseandshewitnessedhisdeathbyshootingin lateSeptember.Shebecameapartnerinalargeandsuccessfulcompanyshortlyafterthat.Her partnerleftonamilitarymissionandshehashadtheweightofthatresponsibilityandallthose peopleonher.Then,shedidn'thavethesupportofeitherofthepossiblefatherstohelpher throughthepregnancy.Onehaddiedandtheotherwasinbattle." Ispokeupthen."Someoneshetrustedcheatedonherandanotherattackedherandscaredand humiliatedherbeforeJustine'ssondied.Shewastryingtosaveamotherandachildwith cancertoday.Icouldtellsomethingwaswrong.Shewasn'tspeakingrightandshewasweak. But,shestillbeggedmetogotakecareofthemother."

Justinenodded."Apparentlybeforeshecalled911,shehadcalledourfriendTravisParkerabout gettingthechildsomehelp.Shestartedafoundationinmyson'snameandtheyhelpautistic children." Thedoctor'seyeswerewide."Thiswomanhasbeenthroughallthisinamatterofjustoversix months?"Weallnodded. "Iwasn'twithherwhenshewokeup.IfIhadbeenthere" Justinetookmyhand."NoLester,don'tyoublameyourself,son." Ranger'sPOV Irangthedoorbell.Iwasnervouslikeaboypickinguphissweetheartforafirstdate.Icouldn't waittoputmyarmsaroundmyBabeandholdher.AmanIdidn'tknowopenedthedoor. "I'mCarlosManosoandthisisTankandBobby.I'mheretosee" "Iknowwhoyouareson.Comein.I'mLucasDuncan."Weshookhands. HeturnedandIfollowedhimtothelivingroom.JustineandLesterweresittingonthesofa holdinghandsandcrying.BingandTriggwerestandingbythefireplacewithtearsintheireyes. Ispoke,"Whatisgoingon?WhereisStephanie?" Lesterlookedupatmewithrageandangerinhiseyes."Youselfish,selfcenteredcoward!You wanttodominatesomeone?Dominateme,motherfucker!"Thehecameatmewithbothfists clenchedandtearsinhiseyes. TankandBobbylungedathimrightwhenhewenttothrowthefirstpunch.Hewasgrowlingand pantinglikeananimalandthrowingdaggersatmewithhiseyes.Bobbyfinallysaid,"Lester,you eithercalmdownnoworI'llsedateyou." Tankgrowled,"LockitdownSantosrightnow!Weneedtotalk." Justinestoodup."Boys,Lester,pleasecalmdown.Wedoneedtotalk." Isaidagain,"WhereisStephanie?" "SheisinthehospitalCarlos." "Whathappened?Isshegoingtobeokay?Isthebabyokay?" Everyonejuststaredatme."Pleasetellme,"Ibegged. IlookedatJustine."Sheisnotalrightandsheisnolongerpregnant." Iwasstunned."Iwanttogotoher.Whereisshe?" "Youcan'tseeherandshecan'ttalktoyou.Shewon'tknowyou." "Whatdoyoumean?" "She'sinapsychiatrichospital." "What?Whatthehellhappenedhere?" LestersaidinavoiceI'veneverheard,"Whathappenedisthatagoodwomanhasbeen sufferingwiththeweightofeveryone'spainandshitandresponsibilityallbyherselfforseven monthsshehasbeenhurtbythepeopleshelovedandtrustedthemost.Allshehasdoneistry tohelpotherpeopleandmakeotherpeoplesmile.Shetookoveryourcompanylikeaprotective motherandshedidmorethangood,shedidgreat.Sheneverthoughtofherself.Eventotheend shewastryingtohelpsomeoneelse!"Hesobbed. Hesaid,"She'snotwithusanymore.She'sgonenowRanger.There'snomorelightinher beautifulblueeyes."

Tearsstartedrollingdownmyface."OhdearGod,whathaveIdone?" Everypersonintheroomwascrying.IlookedatthementhatIhadbeeninbattlewith,tears fallingandbigchestsshaking. Justinespokesoftly."Boysyouhavealljustlearnedsomethingtoday.Thosetearsthatarefalling canwashawayyourdarkness.Abrothelorapillisjustatemporarysolution.It'sthetearsthat aretheredemption.Youcryfortheonesyouloseandthehorriblethingsyouseeandhear.Then youcomehomeandyouthankyourGodthatyouhavesomeonetocomehometo.Realmendo cryandmyJohnlearnedthisthehardway,too.Hesufferedlossbeforehelearnedtoletthepain go." "Now,wearenotgoingtofight.Youforgiveyourselvesandforgiveeachother.Wehavetwothat aresufferingandtheyneedourlovetopullthroughthis." Ilookedup."Two?" Shenodded."Come,wecanallgo.We'regoingtoInovaFairfaxHospital.We'regoingtothe maternityward." EveryoneofusgotintocarsandfollowedJustineandLucastothehospital.Lesterglaredatme andgotinwithBingandTrigg. Whenwearrived,Justinestoppedatthenurses'stationonthewardandspoketooneofthe nurses."We'rewaitingforDr.Jenkinsandthepediatricianonduty." Inabouthalfanhourbothdoctorscametomeetus.Everyoneshookhands.Justinesaid,"We wouldallliketoseethebabyandcouldyoubothtelluswhathappened?" Dr.Jenkinsspokefirst."I'mverysorryaboutStephanie.Whenshecameinwetriedtostopthe birthbutwereunsuccessful.Wetestedherforthenormalmedicalreasonsforpretermbirth.I thinkthatsevereemotionalstresscausedthisespeciallyafterwhathappenedwhenshewoke up."Iwinced. Thepediatricianspokethen."Thefetushadjustenteredtheeighthmonthofgestation.It'san importantmonthbecauseit'swhenthelungsandorgansfinishdevelopingsothatitcanlive outsidethewomb.Thebabyistiny,lessthanfourpounds,andisstrugglingtobreathe.Wehave giventhenecessarydrugstospeeddevelopment.Wejusthavetowait.Wearedoingevery thingthatwecan. I'llhavethenursespushtheincubatortothewindowinthebabyward.Followme." Wewaitedatthewindow,allofussilent.Anursecamethroughadoorpushingalittlebaby incubatortowardthewindow.WhenshestoppedIwasstunned. "Youdon'tdeserveherandyouespeciallydon'tdeservethisgift,"Lesterspat.Thenhewalked away. Therelayatinylittlebaby.Smallenoughtojustfitinmyhand.Itwasaboyjusttwoshades lighterthanmyownskin.Hewasmyson.Tearsstartedfallingagainandmyheartfeltlikeitwas growinginmychesttoallowforalltheloveandemotionthatwasfillingme. Justinetookmyhand,"AsmuchasIwantedhimtobeapartofmyJohn,thisbabyisherefora reason.Ithinkthisbabywillhealmuchpainandmanybrokenhearts.Ihavenodoubthe'llmake it.Heisheresothatallofuscangoonliving." Justthenthepediatricianwalkedup."Areoneofyouthefather?" Inodded."He'sgoingtobeahandsomebaby.Hiseyesareclosednow,buttheyarethe brightestblue."Hepattedmeontheshoulder."Onedayatatimeson."Thenhewalkedaway.

TBC Chapter15 TankandBobbywenttothehotelthatHectorandBinkywerestayingat.TankandHectorwere goingbacktoTrentonthenextday.Theyweregettingbackeduponnewsecuritycontracts.I wenttothehousewithJustine,LucasandLester. Justinewenttothekitchenandbegancooking.LucaswassittingbetweenLesterandIinthe livingroom.Itwastense. Lester,"ThankyouforlookingafterSteph.Canyoutellmewhathappenedbeforethehospital? Heglaredatme."Youshouldhaveneverleft.Didyouhonestlythinkthatleavingherwouldhelp anything?" "Youshouldhaveseenher.ShewasmorethanfuckingWonderWoman.Shewasagiving lovingmothertoabunchoffuckedupguysanddamngoodatyourjob.Shewasbravelikea miniRanger.Shewastryingtosaveamotherandalittegirlwithcancerwhenthishappened. Shewaswayunderweightforthispointinherpregnancyandshe'dbeensotiredlately.She wouldn'tslowdown.Ithinkherstressandemotionsfinallytookherdown.Iwaswithyourbaby whenshewokeupinthehospitalalone.That'swhyIwasn'tthere.JustineandLucaswereon theirway." "ThankyouLester."You'remybrotherandIloveyou.ThankyouforbeingthereforStephandmy son.Ididn'tlosemyshitinPakistan.Tank,BobandRamhelpedmetoridthisearthofsome nastyscumbeforewecamehome. IwasthinkingofStephaniewhenIstayed.Thosesadisticbastardswerecuttingthatpoor journalist'sheadoffwhentheteamgotthere.Wewerejustaminutetoolate.That'showthe missionhadgone.Wewerejustfindingthebodies.Iwaswithhimwhenhedied.Imethiswife atthetransport.Shewasreadytohaveababyandherhusbandwasdead.Weweresocloseto therestofthecell.Ijustcouldn'tleaveitunfinished.IwasstayinginLahore.Iwashiding." IsaidLester,"Iwasn'tinagoodplacewhenIleft.Iwasfeelingonthefringeandshewouldn'tlet megetveryclosetoher.Iwantedtogivehersometime.YouknowhowshockedIwaswhen shetoldmeshewaspregnant.IwasalreadycomittedtothemissionandIhadtogo. YouknowhowStephanieiscapableofbringingoutsomeintensefeelingsinallmen.Ididn't meantohurther.Ididn'trealizewhatIwasdoingandhowIwasdoingitwouldeffectheruntilit wastoolate.Itriedtoturnitaroundbutshewasscaredandshewouldn'trespond.Pleasehelp metohelpSteph.Wealllovehersomuch."Henodded.Ireachedforhishandandhelookedat meandtookit.Thenwefistbumpedandhuggeditout. JustthenJustinecalledfordinner. "Boys,lets'sjustgivethankstonightthatwestillhavetwopeoplethatwelovethatarealive. Rangerandhisboysarehomeandwell.Wewilltakeonedayatatime.Withloveandcarethey willbehealthyandhomewithussoon.Weareafamilynow. Lester'sPOV IwastryingnottobeangryatRanger.IwasjustlostwithoutSteph.Iwantedherwellandhome

again.ShewasmybestfriendandIlovedhersomuch.Iwalkedintotheofficethenextdaywith myheaddown. Oomph!Ilookedupinenoughtimetoseeasmallfigurefalling. Ireachedoutandgrabbedherhandandpulled.Themostbeautifulgirllandedagainstmychest. Istartedtospeak."Santos,getyourhornypawsoffmysister."ItwasBing. Igrinned.Thisisyoursister?Pleaseforgivemeforalmostknockingyoudown.I'mLesterandI justhappentobeBing'sbestfriendandwinkedathim.Hesnortedandshegiggled. MyeyesnearlycrossedwhenIreallylookedatthisgirl.Shehadsilkybeautifulalmostblack ravencolorhairnearlytoherwaist.Beautifulaquamarinegreeneyesandthemostsensuous smile. Shesmiled,"NicetomeetyouLester"Thenshetookmyhandanditwaslikeelectricityrunning throughit.IlookedinhereyesandIknowshefeltittoo. "Whatisyournamebeautiful?"Shesaid,"JasmineliketheflowerortheDisneycharacter."She shruggedhershoulders. "Youreyesaresopretty.Whatdoyoudo?Wheredoyouwork?" "Ijustgotoutofcollege.Istudiedlawenforcement.IwanttogotoworkfortheFBIherein Virginia,"shesaid. "That'simpressiveprettygirl.Doyouhaveaboyfriend?",Iasked. NotatthemomentIdon't.Doyouwanttobemyboyfriend?,sheasked. "Ohgoodgrief",Bing,mumbled. Ibeamed,GoodGodshewassomething."Jasmine,wouldyouconsidergoingoutwithabad boylikeme?" Shesmiledabigbeautifulsmile."Icanhandlebadboys,I'mprofessionallytrainedtodealwith anysituationhavingtodowithbadmen.Alittlebadisacceptable." IlookedatBingandhejustshrugged."IfIsaidno,you'dbothstilldoit.Iwillbeatyourassifyou getoutofline!Youkeepthatflagincheck.Mylittlesisterisagoodgirl.YouhearmeSantos?" "Ican'thearrightnow.IjusthearabeautifulsirenbythenameofJasmine." Ranger'sPOV TwodayslaterthedoctorhadfinallyagreedtoletmeseeStephandtrytotalktoher.Iwalked throughthedoorandtookalookatherandfroze.MypoorBabe.Shewascurledupinaballon thebedrockingslowly. Iwalkedoverandpickedherup.Shewassosmallandlight.Isatdownandplacedherinmy lap."StephanieI'mhere.Wehaveasonandhe'saliveandhe'sbeautiful.Iheldherheadupand gentlykissedher.LookatmeBabe.PleasecomebacktomeIneedyousomuch." IpromiseIwon'thurtyouorburdenyouagain.Ijustwanttoloveyouandtakecareofyouforthe restofyourlife.OursonneedsanameandIwon'tdothatwithoutyou.PleaseBabe,Iloveyou.I won'tleaveyouagain.Oursonneedsyou. Iturnedherheadbackandkissedhersweetlipsagain.Lesterwasrighttherewasnolightleftin hereyes.Isobbedintoherhair.I'msosorryIhurtyou.IstayedinPakistanbecausebadmen werehurtinggoodpeople.Ididn'trealizehowmuchyouneededme.Ineedyou.Pleaseforgive me,please.

Atinyvoicesaid,"Plple...pleasedon'tcry.Icacanhelpyou.Arearyouhurt? Iwillgetyousomehelp." Ismiledather."Iknowyoucanhelpme.You'retheonlyonethatcanhelpme.Iloveyouso much."Ihuggedherandkissedher.Iheldherheadupandlookedinhereyes."ComeonBabe, letmeseethelight.Comebacktome." "Ranger?Isthatyou?" "Yes,Babeandwehaveababyboyandhe'stinybuthe'sgoingtomakeit.Yougavemeason. ThankYou." "I'mnotalone?" "No,Everyoneisback.Everyoneissafe." "Mmmybaby?"Shebegantocry. "Heistinybutsobeautiful." "He?Aboyandhe..he'salive?" "Yes,heis." "Steph,IswearaslongasIliveIwillneverleaveyouorhurtyouagain.Youaremygirl,my partnerandmyloverandtherewillneverbeanotherforme. YouscaredmeBabe."Ikissedherwithpassion."IthoughtIlostyou." Shefocusedonmyfacethenandsaid,"Youdidn'tcomehome.Youwenttoabrothel." "Yesandno.Iwasstillonthemission.IhidinabrothelbutIdidn'tusethem.Thewomenhidme andwereundermyprotection.Theydidn'thavetotakemenandtheyprotectedmeaswell." "ItwasasuccesfulmissionexceptIdidn'tmakeitintimetosaveajournalist.HediedwhileIwas withhim." "RangerI'msosorryIdoubtedyou."Shetouchedmyface. "It'sallgoodnow.I'mgoingtogetyououtofhereandtakeyouhome.I'mgoingtocallforyour doctorokay?Iwillonlyleaveyouforafewminutes."Shenodded. AnhourlaterwewereheadedhometoJustine.IhadtoscarethedoctorintoreleasingherbutI knewthatherbeingwithusathomewasbetterthaninadrearywhiteroomalone. Icarriedhertothebedroomandputherinthebed.Wewrappedarmsandlegsaroundeach otherandfellintoadeepsleep.Wesleptlikethedeaduntilalmostnoontimethenextday. Stephaniewasthefirsttoawakefollowinghernose. IfollowedherdownthestairstothekitchenandwatchedasshejumpedinLester'sarmsand thenhuggedJustineandLucas. LesterandIlockedeyesandhenoddedandsmiledatme. Stephanie'sPOV AllIrememberwasslowlywakingupfromareallybadpainfuldream.Ihadlostsomething precioustomeandIcouldn'tfindit.Iwasaloneandthepainanddarknesswereunbearable. IthoughtIheardcryingandavoiceaskingforme.Ineededtotrytogettothatperson.It'sa man'svoiceandIhavetohelphim. IbegancomingintothelightandIthoughtIrecognizedthevoice.IsthatRanger?Ishein trouble?Ineedtogettohim. "Ranger?Youarehere?"

"Yes,Babeandwehaveababyboyandhe'stinybuthe'sgoingtomakeit.Yougavemeason. ThankYou." "Mmmybabyisalive?"Ibegantocry.Mybaby.That'swhatIhadbeenlookingfor. "Steph,IswearaslongasIliveIwillneverleaveyouorhurtyouagain.Youaremygirl,my partnerandmyloverandtherewillneverbeanotherforme. YouscaredmeBabe."Hekissedme."IthoughtIlostyou."Ohhefeltsogood.ThenI rememberedthebrothelandhedidn'tcomehometomeafterhismission. Ifocusedonhishandsomefacethenandsaid,"Youdidn'tcomehome.Youwenttoabrothel." "Yesandno.Iwasstillonthemission.IhidinabrothelbutIdidn'tusethem.Thewomenhidme andwereundermyprotection.Theydidn'thavetotakemenandtheyprotectedmeaswell." "ItwasasuccesfulmissionexceptIdidn'tmakeitintimetosavethelifeofajournalist.Hedied whileIwaswithhim."Ihaddoubtedhim.Hedidn'tdothethingsIhadaccusedhimof. "RangerI'msosorryIdoubtedyou."Itouchedhisface. Hegotthedoctortoreleaseme.Iwantedtogohome.Iwantedtoseemyson.Ihaveason. Ranger'sson. Wewerebothsotired.Hecarriedmeupthestairstothebedandweheldeachotherandfell intoadreamlesssleep. Iwokeuptothesmellofsomethinggoodcooking.Mystomachwasgrowling.IkissedRanger andrandownthestairs.IthrewmyselfatLesterandhuggedLucasandJustine.Iwassogladto bebackwiththem. Lestersaid,I'mgladyourbackgorgeous.It'snotthesamewhenyournotaround.Youscared theshitoutofmethoughandI'mnotgoingtoletyouforgetitmissy!,hehuffedandgavemea bigslobberysmooch.Igiggled. "Andbytheway,you'resmellingalittleripethismorningsweety.Youbettergotestdrivethat turbo",Lesterquipped.Igasped,turnedred,pointedathimandsmackedhim. "Oww!",hechuckled. "Suckitup,holdyournose,whatever.I'mhungrythenI'llgodrivetheturbo.Stupidman." Rangerhadraisedaneyebrow."Whatareyoutwotalkingabout?Whatturbo?Doyouhavea newcar?"Webothlookedathimandburstoutlaughing. BigstupidLestersays,"It'shershowermassager.Shemademeinstalloneineverybathroom inthehouse.Shewasaraginghormonalterror." ThisknowingsmilebegantospreadacrossRanger'sface.JustineandLucasweretryingto repressgrinstoo. "Ohhowembarrassing!"IglaredatLester."Ithinkweareevennow!"Theneveryonebustedout laughing. "Let'seat.Iwanttogoseemybabyboy." TBC Chapter16 Iwassonervous.Idon'tknowanythingaboutbabiesatall.WillheknowI'maninadequate mother.Isjustwantinghimandlovinghimenough?Allthesethoughtswererunningthroughmy head.

Besideme,IthinkRangerfeltmyanxiety.Helookedatmeandkissedme."RelaxBabe.He's beautiful." Thenursetookusbacktoaroomandwalkedtoalittleincubator. Ilookedinsideandbegantocry."He'ssotiny.Ifuckedupalreadyasamother.Ohcrap,seeI alreadysaidabadwordinfrontofhim." Rangerchuckled."Babe,thiswillbealearningexperienceforbothus.Lookathowbeautifulhe is." Oh,hewas.HewasacoupleshadeslighterthanRangerandthenheopenedhiseyesfora secondandtheywereastrikingcolorofblue.Igasped."Didyouseethat?Hiseyes." Henodded."Thepediatricianwasparticularlyimpressedwiththoseeyes." Thenursecameoverandtoldusthatwecouldstickourhandthroughandtouchhim.Shesaid thatourvoicesandthestimulationwascomfortingtothem. IwashedmyhandsandIputmyhandthroughthelittleholeinthesideandgentlytouchedhis littlechest.HewassosoftandhereactedtomytouchandIstartedtalkingtohim.Iinstinctively toldhimthatmommycouldn'twaittoholdhiminmyarmsandtakehimhome. IlookedatRanger."Whereishome?" "Homeformeiswhereveryouare.Ifyouwanttostayherethat'sfine.Ifyouwanttogobackto Trenton,youcanchooseahouse." Hesaid,"WeneedtogivehimanameBabe.Nowthatyou'vemethimdoesanythingcometo mind." "DoyoumindifwegivehimpartofNash'sname.Ifeellikethatnoneofthiswouldhavebeen possiblewithouthiminmylife.MaybeJohnorJacobforhismiddlename?" "Ithinkthatwouldbefine.Ihaveanideaforhisfirstname.Aaron inSpanishmeans'lightbringer'.Ithinkthat'sveryappopriate.AaronJacobManoso.Doyoulike that?" "Thatisbeautiful.LittleAaron.Ilovethat.IkissedthismanthatIadoredsomuch.Iloveyou Carlos." CarlostouchedAaronandtalkedhimforafewminutesandthenwewentoutandtoldJustine andLucasthenamewehadchosenforhim.CarlostoldherwhatthenameAaronmeantand tearsrolleddownherface.Shehuggedusboth."Thatissobeautifulandhowappropriatefor thismiraclechild." JustineandLucastooktheirturnsvisitingAaron.Wenotifiedthestaffofthenamewehad chosenforourbabysotheycouldfinishthebirthcertificateandweallwenthome. Justinehadplannedaspecialdinner.ShetoldmethatLesterhadtoldherhewantedtobringa date.Iwasshocked."Really,who?" ShesaiditwasBing'ssister."Omigosh,you'rekidding!" WewereallatthedoorlikeGrandmaMazurwhenLesterpulledinthedrivewithhisdate.They gotoutofthecar."Ohwow,Sheisbeautiful",Isaid. Justinesaid,"Don'ttheymakealovelycouple." Webackedupandletthemthroughthedoor.Lesterbeamed,"Everyone,thisisBing'ssister Jasmine."Shegaveallofusgawkersawarmsmileandsaid,"Verynicetomeetyou.Lestertold mealittleaboutyouallonthewayhere.But,Ihavetosay,I'mconfusedandfifteenminutes evidentlywasn'tnearenoughtimetounderstandthisfamily.Heisveryfondofallofyou."

Weallstartedlaughing.Igrabbedherhand."Jasmineitwilltakeafewdaysandwearesonot theaveragefamily.Onlyoneofusisbloodrelated.But,thereisenoughloveinthisroomto sustainadynasty." Weateinthediningroom.Justinehadoutdoneherself.ShehadmadeCoqauVinwithpearl onionsandbuttonmushrooms,asparagusinbuttersauceandchocolatemousse.Weopened bottlesofredwine. IlookedatRanger,"Thinkyourdelicatestomachcanhandlethisbigboy?" Hegrinned,I'mnotadversetoeatinggoodfood.Ijustdon'timbibetoooften.Hekissedme passionately. Ilookedupalittleembarrassed.Justine,LucasandevenLesterandJasmineweresmiling. "Hehe,UhJustine,Maybeyouneedtobackthesexyoutofyourmenusalittle",Imumbled. Everyonesnickered. CarlosandItookabathtogetherafterdinnerandthesheerpleasureofsinkingintohiswarm comfortingarmswasenoughtofullyrevivemeandthepastwasforgivenassoonasIsawour sweetbabyboy.IknewIneededhimlikethiswaterandtheairthatIbreathe.Icouldn'tlive withouthim. Whatwasitaboutthismanthatgivesmesomuchpleasureandsomuchstrength?Heismy bestfriendandhasbeenforalongtime.Ilovedhimdesperately.Mylifetodayissomuch changedfromayearago.Iturnedandkissedhim.Weweretangledineachotherandbreathing hardandpanting. "Babe,wecan't.Justineistakingyoutoyourdoctortomorrow.EvenIknowwecan'tmakelove forawhile." "But?""We'llseeaboutwhatwecandotomorrow",hegrinned. "Comeonblueeyeslet'sgetdryandgotobed." Ilookedathim.Ireallylookedathim."Carlos,Iloveyousomuch",Iwhispered. "IloveyoutooBabe.MorethananythingexceptourlittleAaron.Ilovehimequal.Youdidgood. He'sahandsomeguy."Hekissedmeonthenose. "LetmetuckyouinbeautifulBabe."Hesmiledagenuinesmile.Notthehoodedsmilesandgrins Iwasusedto. JustineandIwenttomydoctorthenextdayandshetoldmeIwasdoinggoodandwasso happythatIwasbacktomyself.Shetoldmenosexforatleastanothermonththough.Iwas embarrassedtryingtoraisethequestionoftheorgasm.Shegrinned,"Youcanhaveanorgasm, youjustcan'thavepenetrationbecauseyourstillhealing." Justinegavemeaknowinggrin.Thiswomanknewmelikemorethanamother.Shenever judged.IthinkwemightbemorealikethanIeverimagined. InthenextcoupleweeksJustineandIshoppedandconvertedthefourthbedroomintoanursery. LesterhadbeendatingJasmineregularlytoBing'schagrine.Theywerealmostinseperable,like theyweremadeforeachother.Itwasearlybut,mystupidmanfriendwasinlove.Icouldn'tbe happierforhim. Thatnightthetwocametodinner.Justinehadoutdoneherselfwithspicygarlicshrimpwiththe butteredasparagusandmyfavoritepineappleupsidedowncakewithfreshcherries."Carlos whisperedinmyear,"TheseareaphrodisiacfoodsBabe."Hewinkedatme.Ilookedathimand smiled."Canwe?"

"No,butIhavesomethingelseplannedbeautifulSteph",hewhispered.Mypantiesweregone anddamnhiscontrol. Imumbledandmadeamockingface,"fuckingBatmangotwillpowerofsteel." Hewasstaringatmewithabigwolfgrinonhisface. "PatienceBabe." Lucaslaughed,"DidshejustcallyouBatman?" "Yes.That'sherandhergirlfriends'littlejoke.TheycalledmeBatmanandhadmelivinginaBat cave." "Yep,hewasmysterious,sneakyandlocksneverkeephimout.Theaddressonhisdriver's licenseusedtobeavacantlot.Hewouldalwaysjustwalkoutoftheshadowsandbethere. EverytimeIgotintotrouble,hewasjustthere.He'sastealthysuckerandhe'sgotthiswillpower ofsteel."Imadethemockingface. Lesterhooted."NotreallySteph.Hehasn'thadthatmuchwillpowersincehemetyou.Hewas whippedtheminuteyoustumbledintohislife." "Santos,speakingofwhippedit'sbeenawhilesinceI'vespankedyourasssowatchyourself", Rangersaid.Lesterjustchuckled. Justine,LucasandJasminelaughed.Lucassaid,"Thatmustmakeyouverygoodatyourjob andgoodonyourmissions?" "Ithelpssir.Ihadgoodmilitarytraining",Rangersaid. Lestersaid,"Hehassavedmyassandtheboystooonseveraloccasions.Heisthebestat whathedoes.Hegotourbacksalways."HewinkedatRanger. "YoujustsavedyourownassawhippingjustnowSantos."RangergrinnedatLester. UnderthetableItookRanger'shandandhesqueezeditandsmiledatme. Aboutanhourafterweate,LesterandJasmineretreatedtohisroom.Therestofusweresitting inthelivingroomtalkingandinaboutanotherhalfanhourwewerelookingateachothertryingto repressgrins.Thereweresoundscomingfromtheupstairsroom.Verylouderoticsounds. CarlosgrabbedmyhandandLukegrabbedJustine'sandweallheadedupstairstoourown respectiverooms. Thenextmorningatbreakfastthatstupid80'stunethe"LoveShack"wasplayinginmyhead again.Everyonewasquietandtryingnottogrinateachother.LesterandJasmineweremaking googooeyes. Ohthiswasjustweird."Cripes,okaylet'sjustgetitout.Dideveryonehaveagoodnightlast nightandJustineyou'resneakytoo?"Ipointedmyfingerather.Theyallstartedlaughing. LesterputhisarmaroundJasmineandbeamed. CarloskissedmeandLucaswinkedatJustine. Ranger'sPOV JustineandmyBabewereheadedtothehospitaltoseeAaron.Lesterwasgoingtotake JasminehomeandheandLucasweregoingwithmetopickoutaringformysweetBabe.Iwas notgoingtowasteanymoretime.Aaronwouldbeabletocomehomesoon.Iwouldbuyher dreamhousesinTrenton,Texas,Miami,here.Wherevershewantedtobeaslongassheand myboywerewithmeitdidn'tmatter.

Wepickedoutaperfectringwithabigdiamondandthesapphiresthatmatchedherbeautiful eyes.IthoughtitwouldberomantictogivehertheringonadatebutknowingStephshewould wanttosharethemomentwiththepeoplesheloved.IlookedupandnoticedLucastakinghis creditcardfromaclerkinthestore. IshowedJustinetheringandweplannedthedinner.Wewouldhaveeveryonethere.Bing,Trigg, Binky,Lisa,Jasmineandallofusinthehouse.IcalledTankandBobandtheywereevengoing todrivedownfortheoccasionandspendthenight.TankwasbringingsomesurprisesforSteph. Justinehadcomeupwithanincrediblemenuoftomatoesstuffedwitheggplantcaponataforthe appetizer,bakedGreekchickenstuffedwitholives,fetacheeseandspinachfortheentre'and fordessertdoublechocolatefudgetartwithstrawberries.Justinewasgoingtoruinmydiet.She wasanincrediblecookandeverythingsheputonthetablewasoutstanding. WhenStephcamehomeItoldhertosoakinthetubandthatIhadleftheragiftonthebed.She camedownthestairsinalittlewhileinthebluesheathdressIhadboughtherwithlittleblack patentpeeptoepumpsandthesapphirejewelryIhadboughther.Shehadputherhairupina chignonandhereyessparkled.ShewasavisionandIfeltmyselfgethardasarock.GodhowI lovedthiswoman.TonightwasthenightthatIcouldhaveherthewayIhaddreamedformonths now. Iwasgazingatherandjustthenthedoorbellrang.IopenedthedoortoTank,BobbyandLula andGrandmaMazur.BehindmeStephsqueeled. "Lula!"Theybothrantoeachotherjumpingupanddown.TankandIgrinnedateachotherand nodded. "Damnskinnywhitegirlyoulookgoodforjusthavin'ababy!I'mgonna'kickyourassthoughfor leavin'meandConniewonderin'whatthehellhappenedtoyou!Weareyourgirls!" "LulaI'msosorry.It'sbeen"Shestuckupherhand,"Iknowit'sbeencomplicated."She grinned."Tankfilledmeinanddamnskippyit'sbeencomplicated." "GrandmaMazur!"Shehuggedher."Ihavemissedyousomuch." "MetooStephiegirl.IwishIcouldhavebeenhereforyou." "It'sokay,I'mjustgladyou'reherenow." Weallhuggedeachother.Lulasaid,"Ican'twaittoseelittlebabyBatman.Ibethe'ssomethin'." GrandmaMazurasked,"HashegotaBatmanpackagetoo?" Stephlaughed,"Idon'tknowGrandma.Everythingistinyrightnow.Shelookedatme."I'msure he'llgrowintohisownwhateverinthefuture."IsawJustinestandinginthekitchendoorway beaming. IhuggedTankandBobbyandwhispered,"How'syourpackages?Inonepiece?"Bobsaid,"Well itwastouchandgothereforafewmiles"andwinked.Ilaughed. ShortlyaftertheirarrivalcameLesterandJasmine,BingandTriggandBinkyandLisa. Everybodywashuggingandhighfivingandjusthappytobetogether. Itwastime.WewereabouttohavedessertwhenIgotupandgotdownononekneeandtook myBabe'shand.Everyonebecamesilent. "StephanieinfrontofallthesepeoplethatyoucareaboutIwanttoaskyouaquestion."She lookedshellshocked."WillyoumarrymeBabe?Willyoubemygirlfortherestofmylife? BecauseIloveyouandAaronmorethananythingelseinthisworldandIcan'tlivewithoutyou." Iopenedtheboxandshegasped.Sheputherhandsonmyfaceandkissedme."YesCarlos,I

loveyou!Wekissedlikewewerereadytoretreatupstairs."Everybodystartedclinkingtheir glasses. Justinesaid,"Iwouldliketomakeatoast."Everyonebecamesilent."Ilostabelovedsonnot longagobut,Godanddestinyhasbroughtmeanewloveandabountyofsonsanddaughters,a belovedgrandchildandanewfamily.Iloveallofyouchildren." Lucassaid,"Chayyim(tolife)"andraisedhisglass. Everyonekissedandhugged.BingandTrigglookedateachother. "Don'teventfuckingthinkaboutitTrigg",Ronsaid.GrandmaMazurwinkedatthemandthey grabbedeachotherandhuggedhard.Weallstartedlaughing. JustthenLucasgotup.Idon'twanttototakeawayfromthiswonderfulmomentintimefor CarlosandStephanie.But,Iwasmovedbythelovethatyouallshareforoneanother.SoI boughtaringformyownbelovedandIwouldalsoliketoaskhertobemywife.Thenhegot downonhiskneeandpresentedawhopperofadiamondtoouradoptedmotherJustine.She beamedandkissedhim."Ofcourse,IloveyoumyLucas.Areyougoingtobeabletogetup dear?" "Imightneedalittlehelpmysweetheart."Everyonelaughed. WhenwegottoourbedroomCarlosgrinned,"Babewearegoingtodothisanditisgoingtobe thebestever.Iloveyou." Shesighed."Iloveyoubeautifulman."Wemadelovehalfwaythroughthenightthensated,fell intoadeepcontentedsleep. TBC Chapter17 CrankthischapterupwiththeNickelbacksong"GottabeSomebody"playing.Itwil enhancetheweddingscenario! GuestsPOV Sixmonthslater,theBurgdreamweddingofthedecadewastakingplaceatSt.Mary's CathedralinTrenton.AprocessionbeginningwithfourmountedNewJerseystatetrooperson Clydesdalehorsesledthewaytothecathedralfollowedbyfourblackstretchlimousines.People andreportersfilledthestreetsonbothsides. Thefirstlimousinestoppedinfrontofthecathedralandsixhandsomemendressedinblack tuxedoswithtailsemergedandenteredintothechurch. Thesecondlimousinearrivedandalargefamilyemerged. Thethirdlimousinestoppedandasmallerfamilyemergedandlittleelderlyladywascarryinga smallbabyboydressedinatinylittleblacktuxedo. Thelastlimousinestoppedandthreewomendressedinwhiteemergedandthreewomen dressedinperiwinklebluesatingownsemerged.Allofthewomenwerecarryingbrightcolorful bouquetsoffreshflowerswithlongcolorfulribbonscascading. Thechurchwasoverflowing.HalfwerebelovedfriendsandfamilyandtherestwereBurg gossipersandreporters.Thiswasthedayoftheunusualnuptialsofthefamous"Bombshell

BountyHunter".Therewouldbefamouspeopleatthiswedding.Itwasnews. Threehandsomeproudmenstoodattheheadofthecathedralnearthepriestdressedinbright purplegoldandwhiterobes. Justthentherichsoundofthechurch'sorgansoundedandarichsoulfulmalevoicebegan singingfollowedbyachorus.ItwasStephenStills,friendofDustyandtheband,singing"Church (PartofSomeone)." Alittlegirlwithveryshortcurlybrownhaircamedowntheaisledroppinglittleflowerpetalsalong theway.Shewaswearingadresslikeoneofherfavoritebookcharacters,AmeliaBediliaand shewasgoingtoeatcaketoday.Allofthedeliciouscakeshewanted. AsmilingMaryLouandBobbyBrowncamedowntheaislefirstandpartedatthefrontofthe churchandwenttotheendoftheweddingpartyline.NextdowntheaislewereRonBingand Connie.ThelastinthepartywereTankandLula.Astheytooktheirplacesintheweddingparty lineeveryoneturnedtothebackofthechurch. ThefirstbridedowntheaislewasJustineNashinawhitesheathwiththreequartersleevesand adeepvneckandawhiteflowerinherhair.WhenshestoppedatthefrontofthechurchLucas steppedoutoflineandtookherhandandgentlykisseditandtheymovedtomakeroomforthe nextbride. AbeautifulJasminewithbrightaquaeyesenteredthechurchinamermaidstylewhitesatinand lacegownwithasmalltrain.HerhairwasdownthewayLesterlikeditandherveilwasthe lengthofhertrainbutsimple.GuestsgaspedatherbeautyandawaitingLesterbeamed."Eat yourheartsoutboys.Thatismywoman,"hemumbled.Bingmumbled,"Youbetterkeepher happyorI'llkickyourassbrother."HegrinnedatLester. JasminearrivedatthefrontofthechurchandthepriestplacedJasmine'shandinLester'sand theymovednexttoLucasandJustine. Thelastbrideenteredthecathedralwithabeamingfatheratherarm.Shewasglowing,dressed inawhitestraplessAlinegownandlongtrainwithbeadsandpearlsonthebodice.Herhairwas upandhershortveilwasbeadedandshewasadornedwiththebluesapphiresherloverhad givenher.Herbrightglowingblueeyesfoundtheoneshewaslookingforandshegavehima lovingsmile.Theylockedeyes.Hiseyestwinkled."I'maluckymanindeed,"hethoughtand reachedouthishandforher **Theendofthisstory** HereisthebeautifulpicturedonemyMichaelMancusooftheTimesofTrenton.Themounted troopersarereal: thetimes/2012/03/blue_mass_at_st_marys_cathedra_LookunderMichaelMancusophotos. TheanthemforthisstoryisdefinitelyNickelback's"GottabeSomebody."Itappliedtoallthese wonderfulcharactersthatIlovedsomuch.Blessyouallforreading.

First Generation Scot 2/9/13 . chapter 1 Nash or Ranger? She did say that she laid in two beds! margaret aka whymelucylu 2/9/13 . chapter 1 omg preggers eh? at least Nash will carry on right? alix33 4/5/13 . chapter 2 Pizza that Ranger is bringing around on top of what I am sure is Stephanie's morning sickness, but should really be called all day sickness? I am no psychic, but I see another round of barfing in Stephanie's near future "I know we don't really know each other that well, but I kind of think of you as a daughter. Does that make you uncomfortable?" "Not at all, you don't know my mother. I could use a backup." Justine laughed. "Well, I just wanted to check on you. You keep in touch. Love you dear. Goodbye." Jeez, I wanted to cry. She was about the kindest lady next to Ella that I had ever met. Nash had been the perfect package; he even would have come with the perfect mother-in-law." - AW, I want to cry at Justine Nash's kind-heartedness too. The really sucky thing about that autistic kid is he probably loved John right back but has not or had not or will not ever have any ability to ever express it. "Stop being such a busy body Ranger." - "busybody" is one word. "I changed the subject. "Justine Nash called." He said, "She's a nice lady. I like her. How is she doing?" "She sounds okay. She just lost her only son and

she's calling to see how I'm doing. I really crapped out in the mother department. Why didn't I get one of those?" Ranger chuckled at that." - That is IMO nothing to chuckle at; it is something to mourn along with Stephanie if one really cares about her. trhodes9 2/9/13 . chapter 2 She should not do a distraction if she's preggers. Love the dog! margaret aka whymelucylu 2/9/13 . chapter 2 distraction while preggers? not a good idea alix33 4/5/13 . chapter 3 "If your feeling up to it later maybe I could show you how much." - "you're feeling up to it". "I am going to die before this is over I thought before I slammed the lid of the toilet up yet again and wretched." - What Stephanie did there, was "retched" (past tense of the verb "retch", sort of a synonym for "vomit"). How she felt there might have been "wretched" (an adjective, sort of a synonym for "awful"). BeautifulBabeForever 2/11/13 . chapter 3 YEAH! So glad to finally be able to read the next installment. So want to string Ranger up for the way he just left. Hehe. Nicely done. So looking forward to the next update. Always ready for more. You go girl. crystal.e.ingram 2/10/13 . chapter 3 I love this story! trhodes9 2/9/13 . chapter 3 What a dope. Ever think that maybe talking about what you can do to "atone" would be better than unilateral decisions? Isn't that what got you in trouble in the first place? Arrrgh!

margaret aka whymelucylu 2/9/13 . chapter 3 finally she told him...what a heartbreaker of a chapter for ranger to know any chance we can get a ranger pov soon on his reaction to all this? alix33 4/5/13 . chapter 4 "Today was Friday and I couldn't put it off any longer. I had to go to the "Burg." I selfishly wished Ranger were here to go with me so that I didn't have to listen to more of my mother's diatribe. I missed him already. I called home and told them I would be there. Grandma Mazur's radar was on and she was at the door. "Hi Stephie girl. Where's Ranger?" "He is on a mission right now." "That's too bad. I told the girls at the Clip and Curl that tonight was the night. I was going to check out his package good." I grinned at the picture and thought stupid Ranger. If he wanted atonement all he had to do was come to dinner with me tonight." - Ranger will just have to come do his atoning once that mission is done, then. "My mother said, "Well Stephanie, doesn't this take up too much of your time? What will happen when you get married and have children? You can't run a business and be a mother, too. Where is Ranger, did you ruin that relationship too? No man appreciates a loose woman. Didn't I raise you better? It's not proper and all those strange men and just you and the cleaning woman." This struck such a painful chord in me right now. Before I knew it I was standing with hands on the table glaring at her. "I'm Super Fucking Wonder Woman Mom! I'm better than the average Burg slave and I can do it all! Those strange men as you call them are mostly war heroes and I love every single one of them like brothers! Don't you ever bring this up to me again! EVER!" Everyone was stunned. My sister and Kloughn had clapped hands over the girls' ears but they were still pointing at me and giggling. My mother's mouth was hanging open and she cut her eyes to the cabinet where she kept her liquor. "Val, I am so sorry I dropped the F-bomb in front of your girls." Tears started falling then. "I..I think I need to go." I got up and grabbed my purse and jacket and headed to the door." - I am SO proud of every syllable Stephanie said to her mother there. It is IMO way past time that someone told that woman those things straight up and to her face.

margaret aka whymelucylu 2/11/13 . chapter 4 GO STEPH go tell her off again for me...please alix33 4/5/13 . chapter 5 Yay! for Grandma Mazur and Valerie catching up to Stephanie and for everything they did for her and said to her there. "The first guy in the room was Woody as Tarzan. Holy jeez, was he hot in his little loincloth. Now I know where he got that name. I was trying to pull my eyes away when Bobby walked in." - Hehehe. "Your right I'm especially fond of my right one." - "You're right". trhodes9 2/11/13 . chapter 5 That's a lot to go through without pregnancy hormones on top of it! BeautifulBabeForever 2/11/13 . chapter 5 Wow that update ran the spectrum of emotions. Loved the costumes by the way. Had tears running down my face. Her mother is such a ***** it's disgusting. Honestly when she has teh baby I hope she keeps it away from her mother. Giant Crocodile Tears at the end my dear! More more more. nextbestthingtoranger 2/11/13 . chapter 5 Great chapter and you are right about pregnancy being similar to liquid courage! I once kicked a guest out of my house on Xmas day... margaret aka whymelucylu 2/11/13 . chapter 5 oh no this is gonna need tissues next chapter sniff sniff alix33 4/5/13 . chapter 6 "Nash bought it for me for our first date and these," and I showed him the jewelry boxes. "He bought you diamonds." "Oh I don't think those are real diamonds Joe. But, they are really special and I love them." "They're real

Steph." I reached out and took the boxes. "What?" Tears began to fall again. "He bought me diamonds?" Joe nodded. Joe looked sad. He stood up and said, "He was a smart man. He knew right away how lucky he was." - That was SO moving, Morelli kind of realising what he and Ranger never did, John Nash did for Stephanie AND Stephanie crying over the diamonds. I have never been able to do shawls or scarves without looking like a complete idiot, so if Stephanie rocks that new shawl of hers, I am going to be so envious of her. ty93 2/12/13 . chapter 6 Normally I don't start a story until it is finished but I loved the first one so much I couldn't stop myself. So far I love this one too. Keep up the great work! Amy BeautifulBabeForever 2/11/13 . chapter 6 Perfect. Just perfect. That could not have been done better. Way to go. I love Justine. Can't wait to see more of her. Please let the baby be a boy! Your choice, JMO. hehe. More, more please First Generation Scot 2/11/13 . chapter 6 Girl, a total emotional roller coater. They were real diamonds?! Wow! Love this Joe. He has moved on but still cares about Steph. alix33 4/5/13 . chapter 7 "I brought a red velvet cake from the bakery and a present. Let's eat cake and watch a movie." - I think I should put "taste red velvet cake" on my bucket list, as I have been reading about it for all these years since it became a thing, but have never tasted it. That matching set of lingerie Lester got for Stephanie sounds so pretty. "you deserve to be treated better." - Lester is not wrong. "In January, I had gone to the cop shop one day to pick up some paperwork and check some fugitive files. The parking lot was full and I had parked across the street. When I came out of the building Eddie and Big Dog were in the lot as well as Morelli. I stopped to chat and I saw movement in my peripheral

vision. We all turned and watched a young man jump into my Lexus, hotwire it, and speed away. I turned and glared at them. "So, this is the police station. You are all cops right?" All three stood there with their stupid mouths twitching and not one had the good grace to look away. Eddie was shaking while trying not to bust. Big Dog took a deep breath trying to suck in the guffaws he was holding back, "That's Sherman Hughes. He just got out on bail for car theft." Morelli chuckled, "Let me give you a lift Cupcake." I turned and flipped them double Jersey birds. Eddie laughed, "Hey I could give you a ticket for that lewd gesture." I called back, "Yeah and you can 'bite me' too Eddie!" - Who knew the Trenton PD had such useless staff members? EW! "If you want to have a relationship with me and this child at all then you will stop this tirade right now. I am living my life the way I choose. Not the way you choose!" "I raised you better than this young lady! How dare you speak to me that way! "No, how dare you? You can't hurt me any more mother." I disconnected." - Yay! for Stephanie hanging up on her bitch of a mother of hers and may she do it as many times more as is needed for it to sink in with that bitch of a mother of hers. trhodes9 2/12/13 . chapter 7 Oh f**k. Stupid selfish man. He needs to come back, get counseling and stand up for Steph. Don't let the people doing all the killing win by making him hurt the one who needs him the most. Don't dishonor the ones who died by not going home and living a good life DESPITE the terrorists best efforts. This is just what they want. I just want to slap the snot out of him. First Generation Scot 2/12/13 . chapter 7 Ranger, Ranger, Ranger. Get home for heaven's sake. Steph and Rangeman need you! nextbestthingtoranger 2/12/13 . chapter 7 Oh no! Ok, really good twist-I hope the baby is Ranger's. I know Tank said he'd do right by Steph if Nash was the father, but... Ranger is still a man. And I'm sure he doesn't want to be constantly reminded of Steph running away because of his anger.

BabeCakeLvr 2/12/13 . chapter 7 Oh hell Ranger... margaret aka whymelucylu 2/12/13 . chapter 7 run you chicken shit ranger run... hope stephanie finds out you RAN... and guess who steps in? how about one of your own men? what a freakin chicken shit alix33 4/5/13 . chapter 8 "A few weeks earlier Ella had helped me to choose an OBGYN and she had gone with me for my first visit. I think Ella cared more for me and had been kinder to me than my mother ever had in my life time." - IMO there is no "think" about it; Ella IS kinder and cares more for Stephanie. margaret aka whymelucylu 2/12/13 . chapter 8 hope the baby is Nash's of course and she moves on with hr life...he deserves to die where ever he is. in my pov anyway what a selfish selfish man... luis and ella didnt help her either, how can she be around anyone associated with rangeman anymore? and when she finds out the guys kept this from her its game OVER for all of them. the newest daughter 5/6/13 . chapter 9 I want a Ella and Justine alix33 4/5/13 . chapter 9

"he keeps trying to herd 250 pound guys." We both started laughing at that." - That is actually so sweet. We have relatives who are farmers and they got a border collie once and he herded their white and black chickens into separate groups but the reddish brown chickens confused the heck out of the little guy, because he could not figure out whether to herd them with the black chicken group or the white chicken group. It was kind of funny and sad simultaneously to watch. All three of my mother's pregnancies, she had all day sickness for the whole time that her pregnancy lasted (both me and my sister were born prematurely and the little boy my mom miscarried before she had me was premature too). margaret aka whymelucylu 2/12/13 . chapter 9 yay...get there ASAP... alix33 4/5/13 . chapter 10 "Tear started rolling down my face." - "A tear started" or "Tears started". I did not know cinnamon rolls came in cans. I thought one bought trays (like baking trays made of aluminium foil?) of them. Another thing I have only read about and not tasted and thus I should put "taste cinnamon rolls" on my bucket list too. "Stud Man, really?" I murmured and then I felt it up against my backside. Okay I get it. Oh Boy, do I get it. "Lester put your flag down. How am I supposed to sleep?" "I can't help that gorgeous your butt feels so good touching me there." "Well think of something to turn it off please." In about one minute the flag was suddenly down. "What the heck did you think of or do I want to know?" "Your Grandma Mazur latching onto it." I giggled." - I giggled too at what Lester thought having worked. margaret aka whymelucylu 2/12/13 . chapter 10 poor steph... snickers turbo indeed. BeautifulBabeForever 2/12/13 . chapter 10

Poor Steph. Nice how Lester took it and wasn't upset. Honestly with everything that Ranger is doing Maybe this should be a Beautiful. Props to Justine and Grandma. Down with Helen. I'm glad Steph went to Virginia she needs a break. Will we be finding out if this is a boy or girl? More more more alix33 4/5/13 . chapter 11 "You'll need a Hector too; a computer and electronics genius and I winked at Hector." He grinned back at me. "What the?" Lester and I both did a double take. "Did he just grin?" Lester said, "I only caught a glimpse but I think he did. Damn Steph, you sound like a mini Ranger except with better parts." He looked down. "I think I got wood." I pointed my warning finger at him. "Lester, less than a tiny breeze will raise your flag. I told you to behave." Bing, Trigg, Binky and even Lisa were laughing." - I laughed too. "We went to a local diner that had fantastic comfort food and the biggest pies and cakes you've ever seen. I had a big juicy fried pork chop with mashed potatoes and gravy and green beans and a big slice of apple pie a la mode. I was starving and half way through my meal I felt all eyes on me. I looked up with my mouth full, "Wha..?" Lester looked down. "I got wood again." Bing raised his finger, "Me too." Trigg raised his finger, "Me three." Binky raised his, "Me four." Hector shook his head no. They were all chuckling. My mouth still full, "Aw..shu..u..yu..per..berts!" Lisa started giggling." - I agree with Lisa and the guys: It WAS funny. "I test drove that sucker to it's limits." - "its limits". "except the coffee had become an offensive smell. Do babies know instinctively what's not good for them? I normally loved the smell of coffee but this morning, yuck." - According to what I read, morning sickness is exactly that: It intensifies a pregnant woman's sense of smell so she would not eat or drink things that smell bad to her and thus it protects the fetus from being potentially poisoned. "happy with my match making self." - "matchmaking" is one word. BeautifulBabeForever 2/14/13 . chapter 11 Haha. love the slight breeze comment towarsd Lester. Perfect. I love the teasing nature of thier relationship. Love how supportive all of the guys are of her really. Now Ranger is really going to the mats when he gets back. hehe.

He deserves it. LOVE Justine. Next. PLEASE! trhodes9 2/13/13 . chapter 11 Ranger is in deep emotional and mental trouble. I hope the guys get to him and get him out. Les needs to really watch Steph and make sure she eats and rests. nextbestthingtoranger 2/13/13 . chapter 11 Aww, Lester is so sweet! Always there to pick up the pieces... I'm really starting to hope Ranger stays in Lahore. mandyh 2/13/13 . chapter 11 Another great chapter - you can tell Lester really loves her alix33 4/5/13 . chapter 12 "stuffed ziti with tomato sauce and great tollhouse cookies." "Yum, with some French bread and garlic butter, too?" "Sounds even better." "Justine, do you make gravy and biscuits like John?" - Yum! "Justine, do you make gravy and biscuits like John?" "Why, yes I do. That was his favorite breakfast. True comfort food. Would you like me to make that for you tomorrow morning?" "Would you mind? I know it's a lot of trouble. They were so good though. That was our best morning together." She looked sad for a moment and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Gravy and biscuits it is. I love you child." - AW! margaret aka whymelucylu 2/14/13 . chapter 12 just cause you found him doesnt mean he is coming back now does it? alix33 4/5/13 . chapter 13 "We had the most scrumptious breakfast and I think Lucas was a little embarrassed hearing my food orgasms but Les and Justine were enjoying the show. I cleaned my plate and rubbed my big belly. "Justine, as Tank would say, 'you da' bomb.' That was incredible." She laughed. "No one has ever enjoyed my cooking so much." - Hehehe.

margaret aka whymelucylu 2/14/13 . chapter 13 get your ass back here and type me MORE DAMNIT... poor little Janelle... First Generation Scot 2/14/13 . chapter 13 Oh no, you have to realize that I am the official "Cliffie Police" on this site and you must post the next chapter ASAP or the Cliffie Police will be at your door in 5,4,3,2,1! LOL! Seriously, great build of tension. MsSarahAshley 2/14/13 . chapter 13 Holy cliff hanger! I hope everything's okay. nextbestthingtoranger 2/14/13 . chapter 13 Ahhh! Post the next chapter! First Generation Scot 2/15/13 . chapter 14 OMG! Take my heart out why don't you! Ranger, get to Steph, stat! margaret aka whymelucylu 2/15/13 . chapter 14 damnit NOT NASH'S BABY? ranger damn sure doesnt deserve the chance to be a daddy to this most precious boy. what has he done that is good? sold a partnership to stephanie...that's about all he has done... alix33 4/5/13 . chapter 15 "Those sadistic bastards were cutting that poor journalists head off when the team got there." - "journalist's head". "It's a mans voice and I have to help him." - "man's voice". "your smelling a little ripe this morning sweaty." - "you're smelling". alix33 4/5/13 . chapter 16 "your kidding!" - "you're kidding".

"Come on blue eyes lets get dry and go to bed." - "let's get dry". "That's her and her girl friends little joke." - "her girlfriends' little joke". "The address on his drivers license used to be a vacant lot." - "driver's licence". "Carlos grabbed my hand and Luke grabbed Justines and we all headed upstairs to our own respective rooms." - "Luke grabbed Justine's". "okay lets just get it out. Did every one have a good night last night and Justine your sneaky too?" - "okay let's just get it out. Did everyone have a good night last night and Justine you're sneaky too?" "We would have every one there." - "'everyone" is one word. "tomatoes stuffed with eggplant caponata for the appetizer, baked Greek chicken stuffed with olives, feta cheese and spinach for the entre' and for dessert double chocolate fudge tart with strawberries." - Yum! "Don't event fucking thing about it Trigg", - "Don't even fucking think about it Trigg",. "I don't want to to take away from this wonderful momet in time for Carlos and Stephanie." - "want to take away from this wonderful moment". the newest daughter 5/6/13 . chapter 17 Tears are flowing. You were correct i loved it. I am glad Ranger finally got his head out of his ass and became the man she deserved. BeautifulBabeForever 2/16/13 . chapter 17 Finally got caught up. Loved the ending! Yeah. Glad there was no reference to Helen. Wonderful wonderful. Can't wait until the next one. ty93 2/15/13 . chapter 17 Loved it! Thanks for the 'rest of the story' and happily ever after! Amy margaret aka whymelucylu 2/15/13 . chapter 17 adored it girlfriend...you posted so many chapters one after the other, now i gotta go back and review them all...