A Grief Observed

God, giver of all good gifts!/ But he gives and takes away and all thats left is grief./ Im grieving with my knees on the floor and a face full of tears / No one ever told me grief felt so much like fear / Youre not afraid but the sensation is similar: The heart beats/ but its hard to breathe/ cause the wound is deep!/ The stomach gasps/ the mind grapples with the past/ Its a static state of unreality,/ whether crying audibly or quietly dwelling on the former things,/ for a long while youre in denial and the sense is, This cant be happening!/ God! Giver of all good gifts!/ But he gives and takes away and all thats left is grief./ In grieving, seems youre always emerging from a state and then repeating it/ It comes like a storm without the forecast caught by surprise, youre reliving it/ And the experience is:/ One moment youre calm I think its over now. No more./ The next moment youre pounding the floor/ With a face full of tears/ no one ever told you break ups were so severe/ And the cycle continues/ the trial is grievous/ With your pain magnified, its hard to see Jesus in all this/ God! Giver of all good gifts!/ But he gives and takes away and all thats left is grief./ Grieving not a state but a process/ often triggered by losses that leave you in ferocious hopelessness/ In your weakness youre mostly depressed;/ on weekends an emotional mess/ And of course it makes sense:/ The object of your affections was taken away/ But theyre still pointed in that direction; hence, frustration and pain/ But, I lift up my eyes to the hills, Where does my help come from?

And is there comfort/ in the midst of the misty dark valley to rally the broken heart?/ Ill be more direct: How do you live through a break up?/ Some say it depends on your emotional make up/ and how much of your affections you spent, but/ The Lord lifted me high up in the sky on wings like eagles/ From where all peoples appear like grasshoppers and beetles/ everythings little/ So I could see more than my hurting earthly perspective/ That it was a failed relationship, broken heart and no marriage/ I called it a tragedy/ But from Gods perspective, it was successful he called it a victory/ He spoke from the cloud: Yea, I shattered your dream, but through it I dealt with your sin/ and succeeded with your sanctification within/ Together with all my purposes which work the best when youre a hurting mess,/ my plan is to change your character and I will work and press/ expecting you to endure and rest in my trustworthiness/ But how can I endure, Lord, when it hurts so much?/ Please forgive but when the pains magnified it becomes hard to trust/ Once again he spoke from the cloud: Read the Scriptures/ he does not willingly bring affliction/ (Lament. 3:32) But he disciplines his son/ And in his magnificent plan/ shows you youre not an orphan, but a legitimate son!/ (Heb 12:8) So I praised God for his Spirit of adoption who helps us to remain in Him/ He showed me how God can break a heart but also relate to the pain within!/ My breakup pointed me to the cosmic breakup: On the rugged cross, God also bore the pain of searing loss/ See the Son from eternity past/ invested in his Father the love was vast/ (in that perfect relationship,) but in Calvary the scene was crass/ He broke up with him as though he had trespassed/ It hurt like hell, literally, it was serious/ Yet he bore real grief for us, vicarious, so we can pass before the righteous Judge/ So, are you going through pain? Then look to the cosmic heartbreak/ Jesus suffered first a chronic heartache/ Know that he can relate to your pain in every aspect/

This should encourage us to get up and warn those who live in darkness/ That if they dont repent, they themselves will go through the cosmic heartbreak/ Separated from God, all of his good gifts, and left in eternal grief/ God, giver of all good gifts! He gives and takes away. He also gave his Son and took away my sin/ And thats much greater than the pain within/