Flirt Mastery

Flirt Mastery
How to Flirt and Create Hypnotic Conversations with Women
By Steve Scott
Flirt Mastery www.flirtmastery.com
Table of Contents
Disclaimer ............................................................................................ 6 Part 1- Introducing Flirt Mastery ...................................................7 Introduction........................................................................................... 8 What is Flirting? ...................................................................................9 The Right (and Wrong) Way to Flirt .................................................. 11 5 Shocking Myths About Women ....................................................... 13 How Each Gender Flirts ..................................................................... 25 Sexual Tension and Sexual Chemistry................................................ 28 Part 2- The Better Prospect Principles ........................................ 34 Your Attitude ...................................................................................... 35 The Better Prospect Principles ........................................................ 36 Part 3- How to Start a Conversation with a Woman ..................... 85 Introduction......................................................................................... 86 3 Conversation Starters ....................................................................... 87 Approach with Intent to Flirt .............................................................. 96 Part 4- Flirty, Non-Verbal Communication ................................... 99 Strong Body Language ..................................................................... 100 Reading HER Body Language .......................................................... 109 4 Ways Her Eyes Show Her Interest ................................................. 113 Touching a Woman ........................................................................... 117 Touching To Flirt .............................................................................. 120 Part 5- Conversation 101 ................................................................ 125 Introduction to Conversations ........................................................... 126
3 Distinct Advantage Marketing
A.B.F. (Always Be Flirting) ............................................................. 127 Conversation Outcomes .................................................................... 128 What NOT to Do During a Conversation ......................................... 131 9 Rules for a Great Conversation ...................................................... 138 Humor and Teasing ........................................................................... 147 How to Blend Teasing and Humor ................................................... 153 Conversation Considerations ............................................................ 157 Specific Conversation Tactics ........................................................... 162 Mastering Your Conversation Skills ................................................. 175 Conversation Obstacles..................................................................... 179 Part 6- Flirt through Storytelling .................................................. 189 Introduction to Storytelling ............................................................... 190 Why Women Love Stories ................................................................ 192 Crafting Your Stories ........................................................................ 195 Telling Your Stories.......................................................................... 204 Practicing Your Stories ..................................................................... 208 Part 7- The Push & Pull of Sexual Tension .................................. 211 What is Push & Pull? ........................................................................ 212 #1- The Frame Stealer....................................................................... 217 #2- The Rapport Breaker .................................................................. 220 #3- The Accuse Her .......................................................................... 224 #4- The Role Player .......................................................................... 227 Sending Mixed Signals Is A GOOD Thing....................................... 230 Advanced Push/Pull Tactics ............................................................. 232 Why (and How) Women Test Guys .................................................. 237 Ways Women Test You .................................................................... 242 How to Handle Her Tests .................................................................. 246
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Distinct Advantage Marketing
5 Tests to Give Women .................................................................... 249 Always Be Testing Her ..................................................................... 253 How to Qualify Women .................................................................... 256 Using Commitment and Consistency ................................................ 260 Part 8-The Fun, Flirty Guy ............................................................ 263 Being the Fun, Flirty Guy ................................................................. 264 Showing a Skill ................................................................................. 265 Cold Reading For Flirting ................................................................. 268 Flirty Games ..................................................................................... 273 Part 9- The Next Step ..................................................................... 281 Knowing When Shes Interest .......................................................... 282 Showing Your Interest ...................................................................... 297 Rapport: Building That Special Connection................................... 302 The Timeline of Rapport................................................................... 312 The Next Step ............................................................................... 315 Part 10- Conclusion ........................................................................ 316 Learn From Your Experiences .......................................................... 317 The Importance of Calibration .......................................................... 320 Final Thoughts .............................................................................. 323
Disclaimer
No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying or recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, or transmitted by email without permission in writing from the publisher. While all attempts have been made to verify the information provided in this publication, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretations of the subject matter herein. This book is for entertainment purposes only. The views expressed are those of the author alone, and should not be taken as expert instruction or commands. The reader is responsible for his or her own actions. The advice in this book is meant for responsible adults, age 18 and over, and is not meant for minors. Adherence to all applicable laws and regulations, including international, federal, state and local governing professional licensing, business practices, advertising, and all other aspects of doing business in the US, Canada or any other jurisdiction is the sole responsibility of the purchaser or reader. Neither the author nor the publisher assume any responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of the purchaser or reader of these materials. Any perceived slight of any individual or organization is purely unintentional.
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Introducing Flirt Mastery
Introduction
Welcome! Id like to thank you for your wise decision to purchase the 2nd edition of the Flirt Mastery system. In this course youre going to find a resource thatll teach you the subtle art of flirting. As youve probably experienced, its sometimes hard to create attraction with the women you meet. Being able to flirt will increase your chances of success. Its a pretty powerful sensation to be able to walk up to any woman and know you can create attraction. And flirting is what makes it possible. After reading this book, and completing the simple exercises, youll be able to create almost instant attraction with the women youre meeting. Now to be honest, Im not one for wasting time on an over-elaborate introduction. So lets jump right into it
What is Flirting?
What is flirting? You might think this is a simple question to answer. After all, weve all done it (or tried to, at least.) The problem is many guys think theyre flirting---when in fact theyre not. The truth is flirting is a skill that most women possess and most men dont. Complimenting women, spouting off cheesy pick-up lines, and bragging about accomplishments are the things that most guys do when trying to flirt. But as you probably know these are the worst ways to flirt with a girl. So whats the answer? In short, flirting is nothing more than a mating ritual. Its similar to what goes on in the animal kingdom. Birds sing songs. Peacocks display stylish feathers. And apes beat their chests. These are all mating rituals in the animal kingdom. To put it differently, flirting is our way to attract a mate. While the mating ritual is different for each species, the goal behind them is not. For humans, flirting involves the verbal and nonverbal cues we use to attract a potential mate.
As men, we take specific actions to impress the female of our choice: humor; intelligence; material wealth; social status; confidence. Like the male ape beating his chest, we display these qualities in the hopes theyll make us more attractive to the opposite sex. Whats interesting about flirting is its mostly done on an unconscious level. Think back to the animal examples mentioned earlier. Do you think any of these mating rituals are preplanned? Theyre not. These animals come prewired to behave in this manner. Its the way they continue the life cycle. And they dont have to think about doing it. They simply do it. Like the animal kingdom, guys dont worry about the mating ritual. Most of us dont care about continuing the life cycle either. Most of the time, well see an attractive girl and wonder how we can have sex with her. With that said, lets talk about the right (and wrong) way to flirt
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The Right (and Wrong) Ways to Flirt

Before we discuss how to successfully flirt, you need to consider one very important fact ---women dont like cocky assholes. In a later section, were going to talk about the high status man. When reading about this attitude, you have to remember its a lot different than being an arrogant prick. Showing off your hot set of wheels, talking about your money, or boasting about your important job may seem like a good way to grab a girls attention, but theyre not. Bragging actually portrays weakness, and itll do you more harm than good. Bottom line---The wrong way to flirt is to brag about yourself. Now that weve cleared that up, lets talk about the right way to flirt. In essence, flirting is a subtle but fun way to show a girl youre interested in her. Imagine the following scenario Youre talking to a girl for the very first time. Shes cute, she seems interested in the conversation, and even bettershe appears to be giving you the eye. You know the best way to get her is to flirt. So you try to demonstrate all the core character traits women find appealing in a guy. You tell jokes because women like to laugh. You compliment her thinking she wants a nice guy. And you ask questions because youve heard chicks like to talk about themselves.
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The problem with this scenario is only address the surface context of a conversation. It doesnt address the sub-context. With flirting, you communicate on both a verbal and non-verbal level. The truth is 90% of what you say to a woman doesnt come out of your mouth. Its said through your body language. That means two guys could verbally say exactly the same thing, but deliver completely different messages. The man who is most successful with women knows how to use his voice, gestures, and mannerisms to express powerful communication which makes women incredibly attracted. So dont think that the simple act of talking to a girl will make her interested. To flirt correctly, youll have to master both the flow of conversations and the underlying meaning behind each statement. Fortunately for you this is something were going to cover in-depth in the Flirt Mastery system. But before we get to that, I think we should talk about something important. Something that might be holding you back from having incredible success with women
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5 Shocking Myths About Women

Dont want to burst your bubble, but I have to tell you that youve been lied to. Between the media and Hollywood movies, youve been exposed to a many myths when it comes to women and dating. As a result, what you think women want is actually not true. In this section, were going to discuss these myths. Hopefully Ill reprogram your brain a little and get you to think differently about what you think you know.
Myth #1-My Soul Mate Is Out There

The myth of the one is something that holds many guys back. In fact, youd be surprised at how many guys lie to themselves about the one. They think any attractive girl who shows interest must be their soul mate. While you may be too manly to watch Disney movies or romantic comedies, theyve still had an impact on your psyche by making you believe in one perfect girl just for you. Another problem with this myth is its probably caused you to fall into a common trap. Many guys think a great relationship means you simply get along and never have a fight. They mistake an investment of time, money, and emotion as a sign of true compatibility. In reality, most relationships have one person who feels trapped and another whos oblivious. Most of the time, theres always someone who feels they shouldve listened to their gut and moved on. Perhaps youve made this mistake.
Maybe in the past you maintained an unsatisfying relationship, hoping that things will get better instead of simply admitting that it wasnt working out. From what Ive seen couples stay together for two primary reasons: 1) Theyre attracted to one another on a some level (physical, emotional or both) They get comfortable and settle.
2)
Now its been said that opposites attract. But is that true? I say its not. In my opinion, you need enough similarities with a girl in order to sustain a healthy and growing relationship. Im going to blunt here. There is no one. Fate isnt going to dump some magical woman on your lap who will fulfill all your fantasies. But theres good news Since there isnt a one, you can adopt the mindset that theres lots of ones. This means that you have a better chance of meeting someone wholl bring you true happiness. To do this, you need to know the exact criteria of the type of woman you want and then only seek out who match this description. My advice is to stop worrying about the one and put some thought into the women you pursue. This will save you a ton of problems down the road. Be selective when it comes to a woman. Look beyond her exterior. See whats on the inside. Figure out if you can get along. And if yon have the same outlook on life. In short, dont settle for just anyone. Go for someone extra-ordinary.
People are drawn to each other for various reasons, and instead of shooting blindly in the hopes of finding your perfect girl, know what you want in a woman, and settle for nothing less. Like I said theres no perfect girl out there. But there a lot who are almost perfect. Your goal is to find good matches for you, and date only those women. Consider your dating life to be a screening process for your potential soul mate. And as youre screening, youre getting to know women and evaluating them based upon your preset criteria. Never look for a singular quality as the only reason to date a woman. Dont date her JUST because shes pretty. Dont date her JUST because youre comfortable. Dont date her JUST because you think shes right for you. To really get the most out of your relationship, its important to find (and date) the women who stimulate you on a number of different levels.
Myth #2- Women Want Nice Guys

Its true ---nice guys really do finish last. If youre one of those overly friendly, do everything for a woman kind of guy youre going to get burned. Perhaps you already have.
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I know its frustrating to see your dream girl go off in the arms of some asshole. It probably pisses you off even thinking about it. You might wonder what he has that you dont. Well I have an answer to that. Simply put, jerks are confident. They put themselves first, theyre not afraid to get rid of women who annoy them, and they dont care what others think. Women claim to hate this type of guy because they cant control him. In short, assholes are challenges, and as youll learn, women like challenges. What makes women complain about assholes is they often go to extremes. Sometimes theyre too much of a challenge. So we have two ends of a spectrum. On one end is the doormat known as the nice guy. The other has the untamed asshole. Separate, both assholes and nice guys are undesirable, but when you combine elements of both youll have an attitude thats utterly irresistible to women. Now I want you to pay close attention to what I just said because were going to spend a lot of time developing this attitude. Something which combines the good qualities of the asshole and the nice guy. But thats going to be in a later section.
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Moving on
Myth #3- Women Use Logic in Their Dating Lives

Allow me to clear this up right now - female attraction is never logical. Its like buying a new gadget. Youre emotional about this purchase, so afterwards you back up this decision by creating a logical reason for getting it. A woman is the same way. She wont look at your attributes and make a logical decision about what she sees. Either shell feel attraction or she wont. Maybe afterwards, shell claim to like you based on compatibility or other factors; but this a way to create a logical excuse to her emotional reaction. So many men think that if they look good enough or have piles of money, they can attract any female they desire, but theyre wrong. While a womans appearance is important to us, they reverse isnt true. Women attribute much of their attraction to men based on their emotions. With that said, you can actually program a woman into being attracted to you simply by knowing how to talk to her. This one is pretty obvious. As we all know, women have a much deeper range of emotions and know how to express them. We men are experts at bottling up our feelings. For instance, guys can watch a chick flick in stony silence while the average girl will be crying up a storm.
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Now Im not saying that men dont have emotions; weve just been socialized to control our feelings and remain in control of how we express them. Unlike guys, your average girl isnt afraid to cry if she feels sad. And if she sees a close friend, shell squeal, run up, and give her a big hug. I have to say the biggest difference between the sexes can be seen in how we interpret the same situation. (If youve ever gotten into an argument with a woman then you know what Im talking about.) Men use facts and figures to describe an event. We rarely talk about our feelings. Women, on the other hand, communicate primarily through their emotional interpretation of the event. Most of the time, they could care less about the facts. For example Right now, Im writing this section while sitting in a local Starbucks coffeehouse. About two tables away from me, theres a loud group of women discussing the intimate details of their lives. One in particular is describing a nasty argument she recently had with her husband. During the last 10 minutes, she hasnt said a specific thing about what hes done wrong. Instead shes focusing on how his inattention makes her feel unloved. Im sure if the husband sitting next to her, he would argue that he hasnt done anything wrong. He would probably make the argument that he works really hard to provide for his family and wishes he could spend more time at home. You can learn a lot from this observation. Both look at the same scenario in a completely different manner.
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What does this mean to you? When dealing with women, its best to communicate on an emotional level. Dont describe your life using facts and figures. Talk about how the events make you feel. Describe your life in action words. Discuss the exciting things you like to do. (Again, this is a concept were going to explore throughout this guide.)
Myth #4- Women Dont Like Sex

Yes, you read that correctly. Forget what youve heard about nice girls. Women want sex as much as guys--- Probably even more! Our differences when it comes to sex lies in the way each gender views it. We men are constantly on the prowl. A lot of us have been socialized to believe that a real man should bang as many women as possible. In fact, a guy will often improve his social status if he has lots of sex with lots of different girls. Women are the complete opposite. While women enjoy sex as much as men, society has taught them to not be sluts. If a girl has too many sexual partners shell get a bad reputation and reduce her social status, Its hard to find a girl wholl brag about all the guys shes banged. Thats because shes learned that there are negative consequences to having too many sexual partners.
In simple terms, a woman knows shell face a bad outcome if she has sex with every man she meets. So getting back to my original pointWomen enjoy sex, but they dont talk about it the way we do. However, if you listen to a girl when shes with her friends, youll realize how regularly they discuss sex. Or even better, look at a cover of a magazine like Cosmopolitan. Youll see that sex is topic thats often discussed with women. Lets face it. The major difference between the sexes comes down to the ability to restrain our urges. Whereas men talk about sex constantly, women can restrain their sexual impulses. The myth that women dont enjoy sex comes from the way they talk to guys. Your average girl has learned to not encourage any guy she finds unattractive. By displaying cold body language, she knows hell probably give up and walk away. As a result, it only seems like a lot of women are prudish and dont want to have sex. The truth is they have lots of sexual thoughts. Just not with the guys they find unexciting. I bet if you took a prudish girl and put her around an exciting guy youll see a very different reaction. If the chemistry is right, shell suddenly become very sexual. This girl will laugh, shell flirt, and shell do her best to attract him.
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I want to reiterate the truth to this last myth: A woman can enjoy sex as much as a guy. But you have to know how to trigger this side of their personality. Shes not going to show it unless you connect to her primal urges. And this doesnt happen when you use logic.
Myth #5- Women Only Want Good-Looking Guys

While its important to take care of your appearance, you dont have to look as though you just stepped off the pages of GQ to attract women. Dont believe me? Well, lets go back to the example of that guy. Hes not the most successful, and to be perfectly honest, you dont see whats so attractive about him either. Yet for some reason, he seems to be having more luck with the opposite sex than youve ever had. Why is he so good with women? Odds are he probably owns at least one of these six attributes that attract women: 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) Means Power Fame Looks Exclusivity Personality
Most of these qualities are out of your control. While characteristics such as our looks and exclusivity are somewhat within our grasp, not many of us have power, fame, or money. At the end of the day, personality is really what matters most (To be honest this is the secret to success with women.)
You have to learn how to make your personality your top quality. A charismatic personality can overcome all defects that you might have--Even if youre not that good looking. So what makes a good personality? Well below Ive listed a few qualities that are naturally attractive to women. While they may differ from woman to woman, its safe to say that this list contains the traits that are almost every woman wants. Read it over, and evaluate which traits you have and which ones you lack.
What Women Want in a Man

Confidence: I listed this first as its the most important quality in a womans attraction for you. Remember that confidence does not mean cockiness. You simply respect yourself, know your value, and display that through your actions. Independence: You have your own life that doesnt rely on the approval of the opposite sex. Let her go out with her friends, and you go out with yours too. Holding on too tightly to a girl not only shows a lack of confidence, but its a surefire way of losing her in the end. Territorial: While its important to respect each others independence, women like to feel important too. While you should never be possessive, let a woman know shes desired. (If you ever read a romance novel then you would see that desirability is the common theme.) Sense of Humor: Can you laugh at her jokes? At yourself? Are you able to convey humor in a way thats congruent to your high status personality? If shes laughing with you then shes probably attracted.
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Intelligence: You dont have to be a rocket scientist, but an education and common sense can take you a long way. Be someone who can intelligently talk about a variety of subjects. Expertise: Along with intelligence comes expertise. Be passionate about something other than women, and hone your skills in that area. Challenging: By having other passions in your life besides her, you are (in a sense) a challenge. Women like it when they have to work for your affections. Creativity: Find your interests and be able to communicate why they inspire you. Sophistication: Put down the Budweiser and pick up a brandy (or a Heineken, at the very least.) Buy some good art for your home, and visit a museum every once in a while. Show that you have a little more substance than most guys she knows. Dominance: Believe it or not, women like to feel subordinate at times. They like being around real men who arent afraid to take charge. So dont be afraid to tell her where youre taking her for dinner. As long as youre not acting like an asshole, shell love the fact that you act like a leader. Thoughtfulness: Now might be a good time to put that personal organizer to work. Itll help you remember her birthday and other tiny details to portray a thoughtful nature. Aggressiveness: Dont confuse this with dominance. Being aggressive simply means going after what you want, whether it be a date or a promotion at work. Good Body Language: Do you slouch? Stand up straight! Look people in the eyes when addressing them, and pick your head up when walking. Remember that 90 percent of communication is nonverbal, so make the most of what youre not saying. Good Sex: As weve already addressed, women love sex, but there is a right and wrong way to turn them on. Never neglect foreplay,
learn her hot spots, and be courteous by making sure she finishes first. Chivalrous: This is one trait that separates the jerks from the rest of the guys. Open doors for her; pay her way; be courteous of her needs and feelings while remaining a challenge in her eyes. As you can see, women need a lot of things from men. The confusion comes from the double talk that women do; they say one thing but mean another. Their emotional side tells them that they want a nice guy, but on that same note, hes not enough of a challenge to them (hence the reason why nice guys finish last.) What they really want is someone they can trust, who wont act like a complete pushover. Now that weve dispelled some of the common myths about women, lets move on to the main topic of this course---flirting.
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How Each Gender Flirts

As I was rewriting this book, I asked for some feedback from my newsletter subscribers. The one question I kept seeing was this: Whats the difference between male and female flirting? So what is the difference? To answer this question, lets first take a look at the female version of flirting. Without getting too technical, a woman flirts through a variety of ways. For instance, shes flirting when she:

Says something thats sexually suggestive Gives you a lingering touch during your conversation Banters and teases you Displays signs of attraction through her body language Seems interested in knowing more about you
To be honest, there are many flirting signals. Lots that I didnt include here. Thats why guys are often confused. So Im going to make it easy on you. Just keep the following in mind: A woman is flirting when she subtly (or overtly) displays signs that shes sexually attracted to you. Now if you paid attention, you probably notice that these qualities are similar to what guys do when theyre trying to flirt. However theres a MAJOR difference... Women flirt by displaying signs of sexual attraction and guys
flirt by displaying signs of male sexuality. What is male sexuality? They are the personality and body language traits that tell women youre a guy who is superior catch. These qualities are the ones we spoke of before. Like confidence, leadership, humor, adventure, and social status. Male sexuality is much different from the way women display their sexuality. Women know that men respond to visual cues. So much of their sexuality depends on the way they dress. When a girl wants to attract a guy, shell always make sure shes looking her best! The good news is women are different with what they want from a guy. Sure being good-looking helps. But you can easily overcome a deficiency in looks by knowing how to display the qualities of male sexuality. To flirt and create attraction you have to switch the male sexuality triggers when youre talking to women. This can be done with the following techniques:

Joke with a woman and tease her Introduce the topic of sex into the conversation (But not in a pervy manner) Display confident, masculine body language
Take charge of social interaction, leading the conversation Touch her and establish physical contact Now these are just an introduction to the concepts of male sexuality. Ill be spending a large portion of Flirt Mastery talking about each of these triggers.
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Bottom lineAlways remember that women are attracted to men who act like men!
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Sexual Tension & Sexual Chemistry

In Flirt Mastery were going to talk a lot about sexual tension and sexual chemistry. While tension in other areas of your life is often not a good thing, with women its a crucial element to attraction. Sexual tension is the backbone of flirting. Its what makes women want men. On the other hand, sexual chemistry is that feeling of compatibility a man and woman feels when theyre around one another. Its an extremely powerful sensation each person has. Without even knowing why, they feel like theyre hypnotically attract to one another. Truth be told, sexual tension is the precursor to sexual chemistry. At some point in your life, youve probably heard this term. For a lot of guys, this phrase represents the holy grail of all interactions with a woman. If youre able to create sexual chemistry, then you have a virtual lock on getting her into the bedroom. So how do you create it? Well, theres a simple truth about sexual chemistry. A womans desire for you starts WAY before youve even met her. During her formative years, a woman develops her tastes for what she specifically likes in a guy.
So if shes attracted to a guy who is tall, dark and handsome, you wont initially spark her feelings of sexual chemistry if youre a short, ugly, albino dude. Every girl has her own particular taste in a guy. You cant control what she likes and you wont have this information until you start talking to her. The important thing to remember here is to put aside all thoughts of she likes. Instead have the confidence that your personality and body language will be enough to create sexual tension. Fix what you can about your appearance, but dont worry about it too much. Your job when meeting a woman is to create sexual tension. Heres how you do this Attractive women are used to guys acting nice and kissing their asses. In order to trigger her attraction switches, you should understand that deep down inside, women want a guy who presents a challenge. Thats what youre doing when you create sexual tension. You are taking the role of the pursued instead of the pursuer. A conversation should involve subtle techniques for pushing a woman away, and then pulling her in. One minute youre touching her and acting like youre really into her. Then suddenly, youre pushing her away and teasing her. This creates sexual tension because she never really knows if youre into her. The important thing to remember is that flirty conversations need sexual tension.
By giving her mixed signals about your attraction, youre not resolving the tension shes built up inside. Now there is an important reason for creating this tension.
The only way to resolve this tension is to take things to a physical level. Shes excited and feels a strong pull to you. And the only way to eliminate this sensation is to In other words, a woman has conflicting feelings. She thinks you might be attracted to her, but isnt quite sure. Only by taking things to a physical level will she resolve the tension thats been built. Just remember that sexual tension is what leads to sexual chemistry. Whenever you meet a woman, you should focus on creating enough tension that youll spark those feelings of chemistry. Then sit back and watch as she works hard for your attention.
How Does Sexual Tension Work?

Again, you might wonder how does sexual tension work? Well there are number of elements for creating this feeling. The following are just a few ways to spark that sense of attraction: Body language: Give her your undivided attention through your eyes, gestures, and voice tone, and suddenly take it away. Personality: Dont pull a Jekyll and Hyde on her, but make her wonder what youre thinking. Be selective when deciding which of her jokes to laugh at, but always remain mostly friendly.
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Humor/Teasing: Dont overdo the teasing. Just give her enough to feel special and want more. Increase Attraction: While personality is the most important thing, its crucial that you look your best. And you can really stand out if you display a style and looks thats completely unique. Be Challenging: Dont pick up the phone every time she calls, and decide for yourself if you want to go somewhere with her. Maybe you have other plans. The secret to sexual tension is to create the anticipation of an experience. Its that emotion where a woman is waiting for the release of the buildup. At the same time, by creating an environment of sexual tension, youre coming off as a challenge and a mystery which ultimately creates a strong sense of sexual desire! Again, these are all concepts that will be explored later on. All you need to know now is that women are drawn to guys who can trigger her attraction triggers.
Why Sexual Tension Makes No Sense

To best make this information work, you have to throw out the rules youve learned. Most of us were raised by our parents to be good boys and treat others well. While this is excellent advice for a harmonious society, it does very little for attracting a woman. You have to push her away, only to pull her in at your own leisure.
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In short, youre making her chase you, and thats always a good position to be in. The funny thing is if every man knew this trick, there would be no more nice guys out there. Heres a question you might have: Is sexual tension related to friendship? The short answer is no. Even if a woman likes you she probably isnt attracted to you. There are lots of beautiful women who surround themselves with many guy friends. Unfortunately theyre usually not sexually attracted to their friends. To cross that line and break the barrier of friendship, you need to create a sensation of sexual tension. Only then will she view you as a romantic partner. Not one of her buddies. Its about Building Anticipation If you create sexual tension, then you make her feel like youre one of the guys who truly gets her. Whereas most men will play the role of the friend, youre the guy who isnt afraid to act like a confident male who shows his sexuality. Youve built up her excitement and passion by placing yourself just slightly beyond her reach. Every opportunity youve presented her with suddenly gets taken away, posing a challenge to her. Its only human nature to want what you cant have, and in this situation, she cant have youyet. Now that weve covered sexual tension, lets take a closer look at the qualities that women want from men.
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In the next section were going to talk about the 18 traits that make women feel strongly attracted to a guy
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The Better Prospect Principles
Your Attitude
In order for flirting to really work, you have to demonstrate certain qualities during your interactions with women. These are the male sexuality qualities I spoke of before. Specifically were going to talk about 18 traits that women want from a man. But before we get to that, there is one quality that encompasses the total essence of an attractive man your attitude. Its important to have a specific attitude when flirting, as this makes it easier to create sexual tension, and in turn, show the best part of yourself. First off, never fool yourself into believing that you are beneath any woman. No matter how beautiful she is, no girl is above you any more than your average person. At our core, were all humans; we eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, and share a number of qualities that unite us as a species. So forget the notion that the beautiful woman you see is somehow better than you. When you develop this attitude, you start to project a lack of confidence, and this will decrease your chances of creating attraction. With that said, lets talk about the other 18 qualities
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The Better Prospect Principles

I created the following list of qualities after an interesting experience me in Italy this past August (2009). During this time, I spent a few weeks traveling through Italy with a very attractive ex-girlfriend. Like a lot of women in my life, this girl liked to flirt and enjoyed having lots of guys vie for her attention. She knew it bothered most guys, but she still did it anyway. Fortunately Im a little different Now if youve ever been to Italy, then you know that a lot of guys are pretty forward when it comes to women. Leaving a girl alone for awhile is a guaranteed invitation to have guys approach her. So during our 2 weeks in Italy, I had to watch as guy after guy approached the girl I was with. And as much as she complained about this problem, I knew this was my ex-girlfriends way of testing me and see how I reacted when other guys tried to pick her up So what do I do when this happened? The answer is NOTHING! Yeah, you heard that right. While Fabio was doing his thing, I would sit there with a big ole smile on my face. And it drove her nuts! You see, one of things Ive learned over these last few years is jealousy is the fastest way to kill ANY relationship.
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In the past, shes dated guys who would act crazy and full of jealousy. As a result, shes developed the attitude that she could control the dynamics of her relationship simply because these men couldnt get a handle on their insecurities. I knew if I reacted like most guys, I would project an insecure and needy attitude. Instead of behaving in a jealous manner, I would act nonchalant when guys approached her and display an I dont give a shit attitude with my body language. Most of the time, I would act like I didnt even notice what was going on. Heres where it gets interesting. My lack of response really got to her! In the past she had jealous boyfriends. But now she was dealing with someone who she couldnt rattle. And late one night, she finally broke down and asked why I didnt react when guys approached her. My response was simple Im better. Yeah, I know some of these guys were better looking. Some had a lot more money. And all of them had that exotic European thing going for them. But the truth is none of them bothered me in the least. Whys that? Well because I believe in a simple philosophy that I like to call the Better Prospect Principles. This is a belief that prevents any sort of jealousy or anxiety when it comes to the women I date. Basically I feel that Im better than any guy who approaches the women Im with. Im the only one who understands what a girl *really* needs and I know how to give it to her.
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I formed this belief a few years back during an intense period of personal development. I know its a bit cocky, but its helped me adopt the unwavering attitude that no guy can replace what I can give to a woman. Even though my ex was getting approached by a ton of guys, I know deep down that Im not replaceable. She feels really good around me and thats very hard to replace! Its not about looks. Or money. Or age. Or a foreign accent. This philosophy comes from having the inner confidence where you simply believe youre better than most guys. In this section, were going to talk about the Better Prospect Principles. Specifically were going to discuss the 18 qualities that can make you stand out from the multitude of men who hit on women. I guarantee that developing these qualities will make you the most intriguing man a woman has ever met. When you have the Better Prospect attitude you wont have to worry about pick up lines. Or corny routines. Or having lots of money in the back. Instead youll be the guy who is better than anyone shes ever met. So lets review these traits. Perhaps learn how to adapt them into your dating life
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#1 Be a Catch
I always found it interesting that women often describe certain men as a good catch. It puts the mental image in my head that women are lurking in a bush somewhere waiting to snare us in a net. So what is a catch? Well in my opinion, this is another way to describe a guy who has high status. Hes someone who has his life together and displays the many qualities that women desire. Becoming a catch is easier said than done, as most of the change must take place from within. You have to retrain your brain into visualizing a new and improved you, and this takes practice. But in order to demonstrate high status (and show youre a good catch) your mind has be in sync with the body language youre hoping to demonstrate. Only then will you have that *vibe* of a man who knows that women find him attractive. Everyone has good qualities (both internally, as well as externally), and you have to know yourself well enough to find them. To help guide you in the direction of a healthier self image, try some of the following affirmations.
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This may seem silly to you at first, but by reading and repeating the following statements to yourself, youll form the mindset that youre a prize to women. These affirmations are literally food for thought, and they will help you display the qualities necessary to hook her on the emotional level needed to be a Better Prospect:

If she doesnt like me, its her loss. Even if I dont attract her, I at least learned something from the interaction. Why wouldnt she want to sleep with me? Im worthy of having any woman. She needs my approval, not the other way around. Its my opinion that counts. Any woman would be lucky to have me; its just a matter of me making the right choice of woman. I am a prize for any woman. They can see that through their interactions with me. I know how to please women, and I will...if they deserve it. I can have any woman I want; its only a matter of deciding who that is.
Pay especially close attention to this last affirmation. One of the key elements to being a Better Prospect is to believe and act as if you are the prize. As you know by now, guys make the mistake of treating a woman like a queen and catering to her every little need. Instead of being at her beck and call, you should act like youre the prize. She has to make an effort if she wants your attention. By showing that youre the catch, youll get a woman to work for your attention. Done correctly, youll have her doing everything she can to make a good impression on you.
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While this might seem a bit Machiavellian, this is the exact same technique that women use when guys approach them. They let them to buy drinks, give compliments, and cater to any little whim that they have. Youre just turning the tables on them! A great routine you can use what I like to call the The Frame Stealer technique. (Ill discuss this in more detail later on.) When youre dealing with women, assume the role of being the one who is pursued. Have the mindset that all her actions are done in an attempt to get you to notice her. In fact, shes trying to pick YOU up. Dont always react when she does something for you. Dont return her attention too much. And dont be the guy who waits around for girls to notice him. Another way to use this technique is to accuse her of hitting on you. Interpret anything she does as a way of her trying to get into your pants. Then tease her mercilessly about her obvious attempts to seduce you. To get started, sit down and think of all the ways that women brush you off or try to establish dominance. Then use these same lines on the women you meet. For instance, you could say stuff like: Buy me a drink. Can we just be friends? Youre just trying to use me for my body. Hey, keep your hands to yourself.
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Im not that kind of guy. The important thing is to say these lines in teasing, playful manner. That way youre presenting a challenge, but youre also recognizing some of the stuff that women go through on a regular basis. Have fun with Being a Catch. Its all about having the mindset that youre the shit and everyone knows it All you have to do is act accordingly!
#2- Sell Yourself

No, I dont mean you act like a hooker. Instead I mean you should be able to sell your positive qualities to anyone you meet. In a way, this quality means that you understand what makes you great catch and you can demonstrate this quality to the people around you. (Without sounding arrogant.) Remember that women are looking for a potential mating partner, so its important to showcase your positive qualities and believe in the product youre sellingwhich is you. Its no secret that the best salesmen in the world have 100% belief in their product. In fact, theyre not really salesmen, theyre evangelists. This belief all boils down to their belief in what theyre selling, and thats why its important to believe in yourself. Doing so will make it easier to convey the positive qualities you have to offer women.
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To give off the vibe that youre an attractive guy you must truly feel that you are that person. Deep down inside. (Thats why affirmations are really important.) Knowing how to sell yourself is the best way to display the high social status that women find irresistible. And what is social status? Well as I previously mentioned, in the animal kingdom, a mans values are based on his status within a social context. The more valuable you present yourself, the more youll display a naturally-attractive exterior. Whats interesting is that while a womans looks are generally the most important quality to us, and a mans social value is generally the most attractive quality to women. This goes beyond what you do for a living. Even if you have the crappiest job in the world, you can still be attractive to women if you know how to show a high social value. By displaying a naturally-attractive personality when you FIRST meet a woman, youll be able to transcend any minor drawbacks that you have going for you. The question is how do you sell yourself? Well you can do this in a number of different ways: With your general appearance With the stories you tell How others behave around you With the body language you display How you treat her Dont worry if you dont how to do the things I just discussed.
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Throughout this book, Ill provide a bunch of effective techniques thatll help you develop these qualities. Just remember this rule--- To be attractive to women you must demonstrate that you have equal or better social status than her. Yes its that simple!
#3- Have a Mysterious Aura

I think the best way to start our discussion of a mysterious aura around women is to mention something I learned from the infamous Pick-up Artist named Mystery. A great principle he taught was the idea of The Cat String Theory. Simply put, this principle compares a woman to a playful cat... Like a feline, you can get her attention by dangling a string. You attract her interest the most when you maintain that level of sexual tension. To use this metaphor, you dangle a string in front of her and never give her exactly what she wants. Ultimately this will make her pursue you. Aloof behavior often causes a woman to want you more, and the root of this is mystery. With this trait, you want to be the guy who she never fully understands. Youre someone who never behaves in a predictable, boring manner. In fact, youre a guy who consistently sends mixed signals about what you want from her. To apply this technique, you want to subtly maintain that distance (while not being an asshole about it).
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Dont pick up the phone every time she calls. Wait a while before calling her back. Have other priorities in your life. Always be a little unavailable to her. Theres a very well-known economic theory called The Law of Scarcity. This is the rule that a goods value increases as its availability decreases. (Think of the crazy behavior people show during the holiday season because they want to get their children a toy that everyone else wants.) This same principle can easily be applied to romance because its human nature to want someone we cant have. With that said, I do want to recommend something about being a mystery to women Dont use it to take advantage of their insecurities. Controlling or hurting a person is never right. Its just bad karma. Behavior like this will often come back to haunt you and you might end up hurting a womans feelings. When you act mysterious, youre merely showing that you have options in your life---youre not that creepy guy who waits by the phone for her to call. To maintain a level of mystery, dont be in a rush to reveal everything about your life and background. Let her work to find out more about you. Sometimes you can create attraction by NOT saying something and maintain that hint of mystery.
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While you just learned the importance of selling yourself, its also equally important to be a little modest. Instead of giving her a crash course in all of your accomplishments, discuss your life in vague terms. Paint a picture of what youve done, but dont give all the details. This lets her fill in the blanks--- in a positive way. In addition, never reveal anything that might cause her to disqualify you. Tell stories which reveal your personality, but dont give any details thatll make her think of you as a creepy or low status guy. Finally its pretty easy to tell when youre a mystery to women. If you find that shes asking you a bunch of questions about your background, then you know shes trying hard to find out what makes you tick. So answer some of her questions, but dont be too quick to detail everything youve done in your life.
#4 Act Like a Leader, Not a Follower

This is a character trait thats been attracting desirable women for thousands of years. While its #4 on our Better Prospect Principles, I think its one of the most important qualities that you can develop. So lets talk about this trait and why women are hypnotically attracted to it. Women want men to act like men, and part of displaying your masculinity is to display courage and confidence. With that said, in order to really stand out, you have to take a leadership role in your relationships. This means taking the initiative when dealing with women.
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Be the one to ask her out. Make the first move. And act like a man who is not afraid to take things to the next level. Besides being the one responsible for progressing the relationship, a man also has to put effort into keeping it alive. One of the harsh realities of dating is that women get bored---really quickly! If youre not providing a fun, exciting experience, then shell find a guy who does. A lot of times, women settle when it comes to picking a romantic partner. Usually, this comes from a fear of being alone or wanting comfort and stability. The problem here is most women in relationships secretly yearn for a guy who can be both intriguing and exciting. Someone who acts like a leader of men. The truth is most want a guy who is not afraid to take initiative in life. This is a quality that stems from the way we evolved as human beings. The leaders of men were often the most sexually desirable. As we evolved as a species, a woman would select a mating partner based on the quality of leadership. This was a subconscious mechanism which increased the likelihood that her offspring would survive. So what draws a woman to leaders? Most of the time, this type of guy isnt the smartest, hes not the best looking, and usually hes not the toughest. The one quality he does possess is the ability to control the actions of other men. How do you display the quality of leadership?
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The best way to demonstrate this trait is through your actions. With women, you cant tell them that youre a leader---you have to show it by what you do. First off, this quality is demonstrated by the way you make decisions. Whereas an inferior male waffles in his choices, the leader is decisive. Hes able to quickly access a situation and quickly determine what to do. In order to stand out from the crowd, learn to make decisive choices and have the confidence to stick with them. Another way to show leadership is through the way you handle social interactions. The leader is someone who controls conversations, but also makes sure everyone is included in the discussion. Furthermore, a guy like this is somebody who enjoys planning an activity and taking charge. Instead of allowing others to make decisions, the leader accepts responsibility in making sure that people are having a good time. In essence, hes the focal point of any interaction. Finally, you can identify a leader by his body language. In a social interaction, hes somebody who: Makes strong eye contact with everyone Is the center of a conversation Moves at the front of the pack as a group travels Seems relaxed and casual Tells interesting stories which captures the imagination As you can see, there are a lot of qualities which encompass the essence of a leader.
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The important thing to remember is to become the person who is in charge of your social circle. Dont rely on others to take charge. Instead, be the guy who everyone else looks to for an exciting experience.
#5 Believe in Abundance
I felt like banging my head up against a wall... A few years back, I was really frustrated after another failed relationship. My buddies were trying to console me and said every corny line they knew when it comes to dating and relationships. Finally my one female friend said the following: Remember Steve, there are plenty of fish in the sea. I dont know about you, but this expression really pisses me off. So naturally my response was a combination of anger and extreme profanity. But as I look back on this conversation, Ive come to realize that its one of the best ways to look at dating. In fact, even if youre currently not having much success with women, you can a lot of life by believing that they really are plenty of fish in the sea. The truth is the world will provide a ton of opportunity for meeting women. And its up to you to take advantage of it. If you dont have this philosophy, then youll probably fail.
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To get the most out of life, you must adopt the viewpoint that you have limitless options. If you fail with one girl, then realize theres another around the corner--waiting to meet you. Instead of living in a constant fear of loss, act like you have a genuine desire for gain. Whenever a woman catches your eye, abandon all fear that she may reject you. Just approach her and see what happens. If youre constantly running from things that are scary or intimidating, youll be running for the rest of your life. Men who successfully have The Abundance Mentality, arent afraid to walk away from a girl if she doesnt meet their criteria. In their eyes, shes wasting their time, and it could be better spent with someone else. The fact is the world is filled with chances to get anything that you want out of life. Adopt the mindset that you can: Get any girl you want Find the perfect job Live anywhere you want Achieve any goal you desire When it comes to dating, remember that the world is filled with millions of desirable women. And until you find one who fits your criteria, youre fine by yourself.
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Having an Abundance Mentality means rising above the norm. It means that you do the things that unsuccessful guys would never do. It means youre not afraid to approach the hottest girl in a room. Or ask your boss for that well-deserved raise. Or talk proudly about the things youve accomplished in your life. Finally, embracing this mentality means challenging yourself to do the uncomfortable things that most guys wouldnt dare to try. You do so with the mindset of whats the worst that could happen? This means that when you see an opportunity, you ignore that negative voice telling you what could go wrong. Instead you replace with a powerful reminder that a lot could go right!
#6 Command Respect from Others

Weve all heard about the famous French emperor Napoleon. He was a man who was widely respected (and feared) by those around him. One of my favorite quotes from Napoleon was how he could easily get a man to risk his life in the hopes of getting a ribbon on his uniform. Whats interesting about Napoleon is the fact that he wasnt a physically imposing person. In fact, he was a pretty short guy who wasnt very dangerous looking. Now even though Napoleon was a short guy, he still commanded a ton of respect from thousands, even millions of people. Whats interesting is Napoleon had the belief that he was born to lead men. And he exuded this over-confidence when dealing with people.
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(Thats why short, but cocky guys are often labeled as having a Napoleon Complex.) Now when it comes to women, you have to exude the attitude that you are the type of man who commands respect from those around you. Anyone whos ever worked in the corporate environment has witnessed a man who commands respect. This person is usually on an executive level, and whats more is that he knows he belongs among the upper echelon of the corporate world. Simply walking into the boardroom is enough to make everyone notice his presence. Commanding respect is the impression you leave for people. In a sense, you respect yourself enough to know that you are equal to those around you, if not more so. I mentioned the corporate boardroom, but you can apply this technique to your love life as well. Respect first starts with your body language. When a guy walks into a room, you instinctively know if hes to be respected (or not). This isnt something thats verbalized. Instead it comes from the way that he carries himself. Next, respect comes from your ability to respect yourself. This means that you create a series of dos and donts on the type of behavior you expect from those you date. By commanding respect from the women you pursue, you are controlling your dating lifestyle. If a girl breaks your rules, youre not afraid to remove her from your life. You dont make errors due to insecurity, and you know that you have just as much (if not more) to offer the woman than she has to offer you.
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You keep your stature equal to or better than the women youre dating. This sounds pretty harsh, but its important to explain to every woman that you dont tolerate certain behaviors. You can give her one or two strikes, but if shes continually disrespectful, youre not afraid to cut the cord and walk away. At first, you might be a little afraid to stand your ground with a woman. Especially if shes good looking. But doing this on regular basis will help you internalize the belief that you deserve respect. When you fully adopt this attitude, women will instinctively know that you have boundaries--- Without you saying a word! Just remember that Napoleon didnt need to be the biggest or the baddest to get respect. All he had was the inner belief that he was the best!
#7 Be Positive
Weve all seen someone like this... Hes got a frown on his face, never seems to have fun, and is always pointing out the negatives in each situation. You know any time spent with this person wont be fun. In fact, youll probably feel pessimistic about life after being around a guy like this. Its a fact that emotions are contagious, and one sour apple can ruin the good vibes of any happy group. Whats more is people instinctually gravitate away from a pessimist, whereas an optimistic person acts almost as a magnet for others. This is no less true when it comes to success with women.
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In the years that Ive studied this topic, Ive found that the *naturals* with women share one major quality--- the ability to be positive no matter what happens in a social situation. When a natural gets rejected, he doesnt fill his head with negative self-talk. Instead he looks for the lesson learned and simply moves on to the next girl. When youre meeting a girl for the first time, theres absolutely no call for pessimism. In a sense, its a selffulfilling prophecy. Through your actions, youre showcasing your own self-limiting beliefs to her. Why on earth would she want to be with someone who has a negative outlook on life? Relationships aside, being positive is an important part of your overall identity. Youd be amazed at the power of the mind. Simply by thinking positively or negatively, you can turn any situation into a good or bad one. Why not focus your mental energy on enhancing your life? Whats past should be left in the past. Everyone confronts adversity in their lives; the important thing is to prevent those experiences from impacting the present, and hence, the future. The point is this. Your outlook ultimately determines your success in both life and love. No matter what happens when youre dealing with women, look for the positives in the situation... ...Even if youve been rejected! And as I mentioned before, people (especially women) are naturally drawn to the guys who radiate an upbeat, happy personality. So even if youre not feeling 100%, youll at least want to put on a happy face and ACT like youre in a great mood.
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Surprisingly, even when youre faking a positive attitude, youll start to actually feel that way!
#8- Be Unique in Your Actions

Heres some simple math... Boring = No Attraction = No phone number, date, or sex. Think Im lying? Well, I challenge you to remember any time when you bored a woman and she still went home with you. I bet you cant think of any! As I mentioned before, women guys who excite them. They like meeting guys who do interesting things. All of this comes down to becoming a unique man. Heres an example: The other day, I was reading a pretty interesting article in Mens Health. In a discussion about meeting women, they mentioned a study that was done on 100,000 cell phone users. What they found was that most guys stick to about five primary locations throughout their day. Whats the significance of this study? Its simple. Most guys (your competition) live boring, predictable lives. They wake up, go to work (or school), get home, watch some television or play their video games. Then they go to sleep. Maybe once in awhile, theyll participate in a sport or go drinking with their buddies.
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For many, this is a nice, safe existence. But let me tell you something. This type of life wont impress the truly desirable, remarkable women. To have extraordinary results with women, you have to be willing to go beyond what the average guy is doing. This means becoming a truly unique man. I believe in a simple philosophy that I call the Wow Factor. After a woman meets you for the first time, she should walk away, thinking to herself Wow he was really interesting. I wonder what else there is to know about him? To be unique, you want to demonstrate through your choice of words that you have a fun life. And you subtly hint that she *could* be part of it if she measures up. Being unique means youre a guy who is out there living an interesting life (as I mentioned when we talked about being a catch). So what makes you unique? Well this really comes down to your personal preferences. I cant tell you what hobbies you should enjoy during your free time. My goal is to help you become more naturally attractive, not to tell you how to live your life. In other words, I dont want you to do something just because you think itll help you pick up chicks. The key here is to talk about your interests during the conversations you have with women. All you really have to do is use your experiences in the stories that you tell. Done correctly, youll demonstrate the qualities of a naturally attractive guy without coming across as an egotistical jerk. For instance, here are some qualities you can showcase when youre telling a story: The hobbies you enjoy
The places where youve traveled (or would like to go) The things youve read The core philosophy you believe in The adventures youve had Truth is weve all done interesting things with our lives. The trick is to know how to use these experiences to come across as a fun, interesting guy. But what if you cant think of anything to talk about? The answer is simple. Go out there and do stuff! Ive found that the best way to develop a unique personality is to create a plan for experiencing new things. For instance, once a week, make it a point to do something that youve never done before. Take a class on a topic youre not familiar with, attend a fun event in your local community, read a book on a subject youve never explored, go to a concert of a musical group you think you would hate or participate in an unfamiliar sport. If you have the time (and the money); visit a country that youve never seen before. Remember most guys do nothing to spark attraction with their conversation skills. The guys who do create interest are the ones who can project a unique, naturally attractive personality. So get there and start doing the things thatll make you stand apart from the crowd!
#9- Demonstrate Your High Value

From the start of civilization, a mans level of attraction is in direct proportion to his social status.
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This means the guys at the top of the pecking order usually got the most desirable women. Unfortunately its pretty hard to demonstrate status when youre in a social setting like a bar or club. Usually in places like this, women start with high status and guys have to prove their value. They approach women, offer to buy drinks, and basically have to work hard for their approval. This gives women the power to pick and choose who they want to be with. Always remember that women start with higher status. So its your job to quickly show that you have equal (or better) value. If you dont, then you risk losing her to a guy who does. The goal for any first conversation is to demonstrate your high status. This is one of the quickest ways to create attraction. On the other hand, if you fail to show basic value, then the best you can hope for is friendship. I know it sounds brutal, but women dont want to be with men who show little-tono value. If no one else wants you, why would she? Now when you first meet a woman, shell assume you have the same amount of status as the other guys who approach her. Which is usually less than hers. Its your job to show that youre a cut above the rest, and you have as much value as she does.
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This may sound like a no-win situation for us guys, but theres a paradox...women are naturally drawn to guys who have equal or higher power to them. Thats why you should actively do whats known as demonstrating high status. In essence, showing your value is a way to radiate the important qualities about yourself that you want women to know. There are different ways you can show your status. First, you can make her witness your status. For instance, one of the traits of an attractive man is that hes preselected by women. You can demonstrate this trait by talking to many women, flirting with them, and generally having a good time. Women will place a lot of value on what they see with their own two eyes. Another way is to be notified by a different source. Having a personal recommendation from an outside source will increase your status. A great technique to use is to bring along a wing man when youre out, and have him brag about your accomplishments. Next, you can just tell her. Showing high status can be done through a variety of fun little games, routines, and techniques. This includes, but is not limited to, telling stories that discuss the positives of your life. Finally you can demonstrate high status by simply knowing that you have a lot to offer the world.
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It is for this reason that you never give away your time or company for free... ...It has to be earned! If a girl asks you for something, ask her what shes going to give you in return. (This is part of the teasing, flirting personality thats important for creating sexual attraction) For example, imagine that the girl youre talking to asks for a neck rub. Do so, but only under the condition that she returns the favor. Give nothing for free. In this same scenario, consider the possibility that she wont massage your neck. What do you do? The answer is simple. Dont give her what she asked for. By giving in, youre actually minimizing your value, but by standing your ground, youre actually increasing it. You dont have to be a jerk. Instead keep teasing her, saying how good you are, how shes missing out. And the only way to get what she wants it to meet your demands. Holding strong to your principles is what separates you from other men. In the animal kingdom, a male of high value is known as the alpha male because hes the one who calls the shots. He eats first, mates first, and dictates the actions of the beta males. So whenever youre meeting a woman for the first time, keep in mind the importance of social value. Keep asking yourself if your actions are increasing or decreasing your status. Youll find that the best measure of this is if shes seems interested or not. Keep doing whats working and ditch the stuff thats not.
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#10 Be Attracted to Yourself

A month back, I was at a local bar with some friends watching the Monday Night Football game. Because it was a slow night (i.e.: not many prospective girls to chat up), we decided to shoot some pool, drink some beer, and actively root against one of the teams playing. During the early game, I struck up a conversation with a guy named Allen whom I never met before. Like all guy conversations over a few beers we started talking about our favorite subject---women. With a surprising amount of honesty, Allen went on to tell me all about his problems with attracting the opposite sex. The funny thing is Allen felt that he had the same drawbacks that a lot of guys think they have. He was saying predictable things: Im not good looking enough, Hot girls dont like guys like me, They only want guys with money, I get so NERVOUS every time I try to talk to a chick, etc, etc. While Allen talked, I took a good look at him.... He was an okay looking dude. Dressed pretty well. And he had an interesting job as an Environmental Researcher. Bottom line---He should have no problems with meeting women. Yet, his self-talk clearly indicated some serious issues. And from my brief observation, I could tell that he didnt believe in himself. In my opinion, this was the only reason he was experiencing difficulties with meeting girls. So with Allens problem in mind, were going to discuss how your mental state can help (or hurt) your chances with women. Specifically I want to talk about the importance of being attracted to yourself.
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The truth is a lot of guys worry too much about their physical appearance. While its important to look your best, your looks arent the only thing that helps you with women. Your level of physical attractiveness to women is the ultimate selffulfilling prophecy. If you think youre an ugly guy, then thats all youll project---ugliness. To have success with women, you must create the mindset that youre best looking guy around, even if *know* youre not blessed with a male models appearance. How do you do this? The answer is to good hard look at yourself, and figure out what positive qualities you can offer to any woman you date. Now this isnt one of those hokey love yourself exercises. Instead its an honest evaluation of the traits that you have to offer the girls you meet. To get started, take a close look in the mirror, and instead of focusing on what you dont like about yourself, pick out the qualities you do find appealing. And if you cant find anything attractive, then youre going to have a hard time getting women for one simple reason... Women wont be attracted unless you like yourself. Dont think youre the only guy who lacks self confidence in the looks department, because a lot of guys share the same problem. If you find that youre unable to come up with a number of positive qualities, then youre probably seeing the effects of whats commonly known as Self-Limiting Beliefs.
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Self Limiting Beliefs are personal statements you often say to yourself, which prevent you from being attracted to yourself. And this prevents from having great success with women. For instance, you might say things to yourself like:

I can never get her. Im too [Insert Physical Quality] for her to be interested. Its too late to change my life. I have NO luck with women. I need to be rich or good looking to attract hot women. All the women in this bar are a bunch of bitches. Fate will allow it to happen. Im afraid of looking stupid if I try something new.
Any of these sound familiar? If so, then you need to re-channel your mental energy into avoiding these statements at all costs. Whenever you find yourself saying statements like these, substitute them with an affirmation where you say the exact opposite. So I can never get her would be substituted with I wonder if she is going to match MY expectations. Let me go over and find out... Trust me...Words are much more than sounds; theyre mirrors of ourselves that we reflect back into the world. If you want to be attracted to yourself, then its time to change the reflection, because what youre thinking will ultimately influence those around you.
#11- Show Your Trustworthiness
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In order to advance any relationship with a woman (including a sexual one), you have to build trust. Now gaining a womans trust is easier said than done, and you probably wont sleep with her if she doesnt trust you first. Remember that practically all women are socialized to never initially trust a mans intentions. A fear of damaging their reputations (not to mention the possibility of pregnancy, sexually-transmitted diseases or being put in a dangerous situation) makes them very cautious of men, sex, and the combination of the two. The first step to gaining her trust is to actually be a trustworthy guy. This is a hard thing for a lot of guys. Many have difficulty with telling the truth when we know were going to say something she might not like. But Ive learned over the years that honesty is usually the best policy...Even if Im about to say something that would make her not want to be with me. For instance, if youre not looking for a relationship, then never tell a girl that you are. Trust me this will save you a lot of future headaches. Now, Im not saying you should detail your entire history to every woman you meet. Instead, Im saying you should practice the art of being straight forward and candid with the women youre dating. They might not like what you have to say, but theyll at least respect your integrity. The next step for gaining her trust is to make HER earn yours.
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Some guys have trouble understanding this concept. In order to be perceived as an honest guy, you shouldnt be one of those guys who go to great lengths about his honesty. Its similar to that old saying where You should never trust a man who tells you how honest he is... The secret to making her comfortable around you is not work too hard for her trust. Instead youll want to address her fears in a humorous manner. As an example here are some questions that a woman asks herself when she first meets a man: Will I be safe around him? Is he going to use me for sex? Is he a stable, normal person? Does he want a relationship or is he a player? Ive found the quickest way to alleviate her anxiety is to take some of the most common worries a woman has and accuse her of being that way. So as youre talking to a girl, you could say stuff like: Youre not one of those creepy, serial killer types are you? Should I worry about being alone with you? Why does this work? Because youre basically telling a girl that you understand her fears. And by doing it in a teasing, flirting manner, youre saying that you get it. A comment like this tells her that you know she might be nervous to be alone with you, but youre an okay, normal guy. Ive found that this technique is an excellent way to build trust. When you accuse her of acting like a creepy guy, youre showing a special insight into the psychology of women. This makes you seem more likeable and in the end more trustworthy.
#12 Act Like a Challenge

Ever wonder why women enjoy stuff like soap operas, reality T.V. and romance novels? Heres the answerwomen LOVE drama. Theres something about this form of entertainment that connects to the emotional roller-coaster mentality that women thrive on. And the show that provides the most ups-and-downs generally has the largest number of viewers. When applied to natural attraction, nothing is more dramatic than a man who knows how to challenge women. Thats not to say that your aim is to fill their lives with bad emotions, but you should try to bring out unpredictable emotions within them. As Ive stated repeatedly, women are emotional creatures. Its for this reason that we men must use teasing to create and enhance sexual tension. A challenging man does not feed into a womans need to argue. He makes the plans that HE wants to make. If she wants to join him, then he lets her. But at the same time, the challenging man doesnt cave in to her demands or falls for any tests she throws his way. In short, he is the master of bringing women through a broad range of emotions, and as a result, he gives them what they crave...drama .
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Besides being a challenge yourself, its also valuable to know how to challenge women. Rather than trying to sell a woman on how great you are, qualify her by testing and challenging her. Make her commit to the qualities shes mentioned having. Tell her what you want in a woman, and see to it that she fits your standards. (Thats why its extremely important to know EXACTLY what you want in a woman!) All of this may seem unrealistic (and maybe even a bit cruel) in your opinion, but thats only because the concept is probably new to you. The only way this works is to believe that you are a person with high standards, and you deserve quality women. Remember people only treat you with as much respect as you command. So how do you know when youve successfully qualified a girl? The first step (as weve already mentioned) is to select her based upon your pre-determined criteria. Next, she must show a genuine interest in your company in order to make you interested. If shes asking you questions, laughing at your jokes, or showing other signs of attraction, then she makes the cut. In addition to knowing what you do want in a woman, its also incredibly important to know what you DONT want. In some cases, knowing what you dislike in a mate can be more valuable than what attracts you, as it weeds out the bad apples, so to speak. Its just human nature to focus on the negative, so why bring someone into your life with so many cons to her character? A side benefit of this list is it makes it easier for you to connect to that special girl who comes along. You build trust by demonstrating that youre not out looking to bang every girl you meet. This separates you from other men, because you have standards about you want in your life.
In other words, a woman has to work hard for your attention.
#13 Control Your Relationships

Someone has to say it.... You can learn a lot about attraction by studying the jerks of the world. Sure they make women cry. And many are outright abusive. But the truth is you can take some of what they do and successfully apply it to your dating life--- Without becoming an asshole. To illustrate this point, I want to discuss something I across the other day: Normally I dont watch a lot of television. But one day last week, I found myself at home, not in the mood to socialize. So I decided to flip through the channels and see whats on. After a bit of searching, I came across a reality show called Tool Academy. The premise of this show is simple. Twelve girlfriends trick their asshole boyfriends to go on this show. And the guys have to compete with one another, all the while trying to prove they can overcome their Tool behavior and become an awesome boyfriend. (If youve never heard the expression, the best way to describe a Tool is someone who is a fake person. A guy who does things to impress people but just ends up looking like an idiot.) Now there are two things I learned from this show #1- There is a lot of stupid, clueless guys in the world. #2- Sometimes you can learn a lesson from even the dumbest of men.
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What did I learn? Well as I watched this show, I realized that all of these Tools had one common trait. And this part of their character was so strong that it kept these clueless women still wanting to fix an otherwise broken relationship. These girls were dating some of the worst human beings Ive ever seen and they were still convinced that it could work out. (Seriously you have to watch this show to see how ridiculous these guys are.) So whats their one common trait? All the Tools were in complete control of their relationship with their girlfriends. Yes, these guys are idiots. And yes they act like abusive jerks. But, their controlling behavior was so strong that they had their women convinced that they *could* be the one. Talk about insane. The lesson you can learn is this. Whenever youre dealing with women, its important to show a bit of controlling behavior. No, I dont mean you dictate every single detail of a womans life. Control freaks usually end up looking insecure, needy, and inevitably, alone. Instead, become a guru at figuring out her games, and play to win. Heres how to show a dominant attitude: Its no secret that women are used to being in control of the mating ritual. They say jump, and we say how high? As soon as you finish reading about this trait, I want you to abandon this behavior, because you dont want to be the guy who bends to the every little whim of a woman. Instead, do the exact opposite.
Whenever youre dealing with women, you want to be the dominant personality. For instance, you should do the following: Plan out your actives (i.e.: dates) Initiate phone calls Be the first to end dates/phone conversations Be a busy guy who makes time for women, only when you can Lead conversations towards the things you want to discuss Again, Im not saying you should ever act like one of the Tools on this show. Instead Im saying that you adopt the attitude that youre a leader and youre not afraid to take charge of a relationship. So always pay attention to her needs, but at the same time be the guy who actively moves the relationship to the next level. Now this may go against everything youve been taught about being a gentleman, but trust me...it works. As weve discussed, women want a guy who takes control. To be honest, most arent attracted to the weak, passive guys who wait for things to happen. They want a guy who is confident enough to figure out what a girl wants and move the relationship towards it. So as youre meeting women, I urge you to look for subtle ways where you can take control of the interaction. Be the guy who plans things. Be the guy who calls first. And be the guy who demonstrates a quality life. (One where she has to *earn* the right to become part of.)
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#14The Fun Guy that Women Love

Again, I want to emphasize that women make an emotional connection between a guys attitude and what hell be like in the bedroom---this is especially true when it comes to younger women (ages 18-24). So if youre a guy who has fun in every interaction, youll have much more success than the guy who speaks to women in a boring, logical level. By acting like the fun guy youll make her realize that you could possibly be fun in many other ways. In other words, an exciting personality directly taps into the pleasure side of a womans brain, and yes...this is a GOOD thing! Case in point: Go to any nearby bar/club and study the guy who appears to have the most success with women. I guarantee hell be at the center of a group, and look like hes having the time of his life. Hes NOT boring them with a boring predictable conversation. Instead hes acting like the party animal who is naturally attractive. It might not make sense to you, but as we all know, women are drawn to emotional experiences, not logical ones. One of the major problems I see in conversations between genders is what each sex discusses. The major mistake guys make is to converse with women in a logical manner. They think a women prefer *safe* topics, so they steer conversation towards things like where shes from, what she does, and how she spends her free time.
While these are great topics for rapport and getting to know a woman better, they do nothing to build attraction when you first meet a girl. As weve discussed, a woman is an emotional creature. When she meets a guy, she enjoys that tingly feeling of sexual tension, which is at the heart of a flirty, teasing conversation. The guy who can engage the emotional side of her brain is someone shell be attracted to, and one of the best ways to trigger this response is to display a fun personality. Your goal is to avoid all boring conversations. Instead do things thatll trigger an emotional response, not a logical one. Seriously, if you ask her boring, predictable questions, youll get a boring, predictable response. Her eyes will glaze over and shell look for an excuse to get away from your dull ass! Instead of appealing to a woman on a logical level focus on being the man who can bring her on an emotional roller coaster. One minute, shes laughing and having fun, and the next, shes turned on and wondering if youre into her. Thats the essence of being a fun guy! Now if youre not sure how to get started, then I recommend you display the *fun* side of your personality through the following ways: Through Your Hobbies I cannot stress this enough have passions other than women! This not only makes you more interesting, but it also provides for some great stories. Women are attracted to guys who are living their lives.
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So get out there and do something! Through Your Humor You dont have to be a stand-up comic to be funny. Learn the structure of teasing and humor. Develop a personality where you can poke funs at the people/events around you without being negative or insulting. Through Your Leadership If youre confident in yourself worth, youll have no problem speaking up around others. Dont be afraid to give your two cents in a conversation! Meekness is not attractive quality. So dont think that the strong, silent type routine will help you get any action. Through Your Stories Whats the craziest thing youve ever done? What interesting things happened to you today? Why did your friends give you that particular nickname? Think about your life and what others might find entertaining about it. Through Your Attitude This is similar to the first point about having hobbies. Dont be the guy who goes to work, comes home, and repeats it all over again. Have other things going for you as well. Have some dreams. Be passionate about life. Do things thatll help you grow as a man. Through Your Connections
Do you know (or have you met) any celebrities? Are you friends with local people that have high social status? Even better, do you and the girl have any mutual friends? A *fun* personality is something that can be learned. In certain situations were all capable of being the life of the party. The trick is to able to bring this out whenever youre talking to women. Now all you have to do is put a smile on your face and fake it till you make it. Who knows? You might actually accidentally fun some fun out there!
#15 Send Mixed Signals

While its important to tease and be humorous, you do have to show a woman your serious side. After all, how can she possibly trust someone who jokes around all the time? The truth is women are not attracted to guys who always act in a set, predictable manner. As Ive discussed in previous traits, they want a little bit of that sexual tension. Theyre never quite sure what youre thinking. Or what youre going to do next. The moment your relationship becomes predictable is the moment she starts to pursue other guys. For safe measure, mix things up a bit. While you dont have to act like a raving lunatic, its still important to be a little unpredictable and exciting. Now, as you know, many girls claim they want a nice guy. The truth is that they want someone trustworthy with a dangerous edge.
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This type of guy is a bit of a jerk, and hes a little bit cocky. He lives his life by his own rules, and doesnt pay much attention to what others want. To do this, try adopting the character trait of a guy I like to call the The Dangerous Man. (But not in the sense where she feels physically scared) Theres something really interesting about The Dangerous Man. Hes highly attractive to woman. Primarily, this is to due to the mixed signals he sends. When shes around a guy like this, a woman never knows what to expect. At any given moment, he could bring her on a wild adventure that she didnt see coming. At his core, The Dangerous Man is self-centered. He lives the life that he wants. This man doesnt allow others to dictate what he does, and he never supplicates himself whenever a woman makes a demand. To be more dangerous, you have to embrace the idea that women should pursue you, not the other way around. Create the mindset that youre a prize, and then act accordingly. Here are a few techniques for becoming more like The Dangerous Man: 1) Never fall for a womans tests or emotionally react to any stunt she pulls. A guy who lives his life on the edge doesnt concern himself with these tests. He either ignores them or calls out her bad behavior. The dangerous guy has a ton of confidence about himself, so hes not afraid of losing a particular girl. He knows that if she moves on, then there will be another to replace her. 2) Adopt the attitude of not caring.
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While you want to do the things thatll attract a girl, you never want to get sucked into the trap of trying too hard. Remember, a dangerous guy focuses on himself, and hes not concerned if a girl likes him. Instead, he enjoys life and doesnt get too wrapped up in any particular woman. 3) Dont always be available. If she calls (or texts), dont always immediately respond. Make her wonder what youre doing or even who youre with. 4) Live an exciting life. Your life should have a few adventures that most people only dream of. While you dont have to lead safaris through Africa or start BASE Jumping, you should still try new things thatll challenge your levels of comfort. Facing your fears is actually a good thing. When you do something outside the norm, youll be the guy who displays an interesting and exciting lifestyle. As you know, women like romance novels and soap operas because they provide a glimpse into a drama-filled world. By having a few interesting or even dangerous hobbies, youll display a personality that makes women excited. The Dangerous Man is alluring because he never makes a woman feel completely comfortable. Whenever shes around, you want to subtly demonstrate that you live an unpredictable lifestyle. A girl should feel that her place is never 100% secure. You have so much going on in your life, you could move on at moments notice.
#16 Do Nice ThingsOn Your Terms

The other day, I received an email from a guy who disagreed with some of what I have to say (Thats what happens when you have a strong opinion). In this message, he told me how he was afraid to follow my advice because it would turn him into some sort of egotistical jerk. And he wouldnt be himself if he follows it. So in this trait, lets talk about the so called nice guy. What sets the nice guys apart (and inevitably, below) the rest of mankind is their willingness to give affection upon request. What they fail to realize is that when a woman has to earn her mans attention, it makes him all the more appealing in her eyes. Now heres where some people get confused... Im not saying you should disrespect women, but you do have to be selective when it comes to giving affection. In fact, you can quickly build some serious attraction when you demonstrate that classic traits of a chivalrous man. Think about it. A woman grows up thinking about that Knight in Shining Armor who will one day sweep her off her feet. At the same time, she grows up thinking about dangerous rebel who is a little bit dangerous, always ready to ravage her. This can be confusing to many guys.
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One hand, a woman wants the romantic guy who can take care of her. And on the other hand, she wants the bad boy who has that dangerous edge. Bottom line is you want to demonstrate both qualities to women. Show that you can be that dangerous guy who has a basic niceness deep inside him. To show the kinder side of your personality, dont come out and say nice things. Simply do things that show that you are a caring person. In a way youre acting like a man with chivalry who doesnt tell people hes a classy guy. Instead the nice thing you do is just one of the many parts of your unique personality. Now heres the tricky part. Most guys default to nice behavior when they first meet a woman. They offer to buy drinks, pay for dinner, and smother her with endless flattery. This behavior tends to annoy girls. Most wonder why youre acting this way. They try to figure out what you want in return. Instead of starting with nice behavior, its usually better to present the challenging behavior that I discussed in throughout this book. Then over time, she starts to see the nice, chivalrous side to your personality. For instance, here are some things you can try: Open doors for her (including the car door) Pull out chairs as shes sitting down If she gets cold, offer your jacket Send text messages telling her your thinking of her Offer your arm as youre walking along with her
Walk between her and the street Lead her through a crowded room Give her compliments when she does (or says) something extraordinary The trick to doing all these is to have them become a natural part of your personality. In other words, youre not doing them to get a reaction out of her. Instead theyre done because you thats who you are. A man who understands the importance of showing a bit of class. Youre a guy who does nice things...but on your terms!
#17Go Slowly
Two steps forward, one step back. This is a valuable lesson I learned over four years ago from a dating expert named David Deangelo. What he means is this. When dealing with a woman, you want to keep progressing your relationship. But every time you take it to the next level, you want to pull back a little. Why does this technique work? Well, a woman typically doesnt like it when a guy moves things too quickly. Her natural instinct is to flee from any relationship that gets hot and heavy too quickly.
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This is especially true when she thinks the guy is only interested in sex. By following the two steps forward, one step back technique, youll progress the relationship, while giving her the space that she needs. With women, its actually better to move too slowly than too fast. As long as youre initiating the next step, its never too slow. For instance, say youre playfully flirting on a date. At some point youll kiss her. And after doing this for a few seconds, youll want to stop and go back to flirting. This is the exact opposite of what a lot of men do. When kissing a girl, MOST guys will push the physical escalation. In other words, they try to turn that kiss into a sexual encounter. Unless shes looking for a one night stand, behavior like this immediately puts her on the defensive. Instead of enjoying the moment, shes wondering if youre only interested in getting into her pants. By kissing her and then pulling back, youre demonstrating a few qualities of the naturally attractive man: 1) 2) 3) You are physically attracted to her You have self-control and restraint You show confidence by not acting like a sex-starved teenager
A man who goes slowly in a relationship shows that he understands the needs of women. He knows that she wants to feel desired, but she also needs her freedom. Hes naturally attractive because hes confident enough to progress the relationship at a pace thats comfortable to a woman.
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Now its important to show restraint in ALL aspects of your relationships with women: When approaching her When getting her number When talking to her on the phone When dating her When kissing her When touching her When having sex with her Whenever youre dealing with women, remind yourself to take two steps forward and one step back. Most women love guys who act this way. Youll be that rare man who teases her with interest, but doesnt come across as needy or desperate. In essence, youll show your desire, but youll also demonstrate your restraint!
#18 Never Be Needy or Desperate

In this last trait, were going tie together many of the principles that weve covered in this section. Theres a lesson I learned from a movie called The Tao of Steve. And I feel that you could learn a lot about attracting women by paying attention to the core philosophy of the main character, Dex.
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In this film, Dex explains that success with women doesnt have to be that hard. All you really have to do is follow three simple steps: 1) 2) 3) Remove Your Desires Be Excellent Be Gone
Now Ill be the first to say this is an over simplified version of what makes a man attractive. But the heart of this philosophy is absolutely correct. In fact, many of the principles and techniques I discuss here is directly related to one of Dexs core ideas. However for this trait, I want to take a close look at the first one--Removing your desires. The truth is acting in a non-needy, aloof manner is probably one of the best things you can do when you first meet a woman. This is a hard thing to many guys to do. Weve all grown up with movies which emphasized that the best way to attract a girl is to reveal our feelings and try to win her over. Unfortunately, this really doesnt work when you first start talking to woman. An aloof personality can actually be the thing that initially attracts a girl. In a way, she wants to be with a guy who doesnt need her. A guy who acts too needy gives off a desperate vibe thats not attractive.
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Removing your desires basically shows a woman that you have a lot going on in your life. It shows that youre high status enough to not really care about the opinion of someone you just met. The players of the world can seduce women for one simple reason... they give off a vibe that any particular girl is easily replaceable. If it doesnt work out with one, then they could easily find three or four more. In a way, these men exude a take it or leave it attitude thats attractive to a lot of women. When you first meet a girl, you want to act differently than other guys. Your average male usually hits on a woman from the moment he meets her. Instead of acting like this, you want to be the man who doesnt seem to care about picking up a woman. This is one of the quickest ways to appear different from the losers who usually approach a girl. Furthermore, it actually helps if you display an attitude of active disinterest. Youre talking to her, but at the same time, you dont seem to really care if shes attracted to you. This kind of aloof attitude can often cause confusion in a woman. Remember that shes used to guys always hitting on her. By not seeming to care, youll give off a major lack of neediness. Also, I think removing your desires is one of the best ways to display a confident attitude. A woman wants a man who has options; she doesnt want a guy wholl date a girl because shes the only one who likes him. A confident guy with options makes her feel special because he is a valuable prize thats desired by other women.
Final Thoughts
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Hopefully you learned what makes a man naturally attractive to women. From my experience, Ive learned women are drawn to guys who show a fun, high status personality. So I urge you to try to develop each of the 18 traits I discussed in this section. Now that you understand natural attraction, lets move on to actually talking to women. In this next section, Im going to reveal a few techniques for starting conversations
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3
How to Start a Conversation with a Woman
Introduction
This is going to be a brief chapter. Starting a conversation with someone is a subject matter that deserves special attention. So Im going to give you a few pointers, but I dont want to spend the majority of this course discussing every aspect of how to approach women. If have problems in this area, I recommend you take a look at the Art of Approaching Course. This is the same material I used to get over my own anxieties about approaching women. I consider it to be the only course that teaches everything you need to know about starting conversations. With that said, let me give you three different techniques I personally use to approach women
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3 Conversation Starters
As promised in the introduction, here are three different ways you can start a conversation with women. Each is a little different in their style and technique. Try each one and see which brings you the best results.
#1 The Facial Expression Approach

Ill be the first to admit that my approaching skills are less than stellar. Like a lot of guys, I hate being forced to think of some witty thing to say just to start talking to a woman I like. So one of the things Ive done is build a naturally attractive lifestyle and make women do all the work. Yeah its pretty lazy, but it works for me. The problem is Ill often see an attractive girl and know the only way I can meet her is to sack up and approach her. The problem is Im not really into the long and complicated conversation starters. Too much to memorize. Instead, I like to use stuff thats simple and direct; which immediately get the ball rolling. Who wants to waste 10 minutes telling a story, hoping a woman will find it interesting? If Im going to fail, I want to fail fast. So whenever I spot an attractive girl, Ill use my facial trick conversation starter which works incredibly well.
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In fact, I would say this works about 90% of the time I use it. Heres what I mean The truth is, you can approach a girl without saying a word! Whenever a person is in a public setting, its human nature to look around and observe whos around. Your goal is to use this to your advantage. When you spot a girl, wait till she looks around the room and sees you. When a girl looks at you, lock eyes on her and hold it. At this point, you have TWO choices: 1) 2) Hold eye contact and wait till she looks away Hold eye contact and flash an over-exaggerated face thatll make her laugh.
My choice is to always flash a funny, playful face! Why does this work? Well most people (especially guys) act way too serious when theyre in a venue like a bar or club. Most are afraid to be themselves. Theyre too busy trying to give off the tough guy vibe. To set yourself apart from these clowns, show that you dont take everything too seriously. By showing a woman a playful expression you demonstrate that youre a fun guy. Without saying a word, shell know that youre the type of guy wholl be interesting to meet.
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As you know women have certain body language signals which indicate their interest in a guy. So if a girl laughs, smiles, or flashes an equally funny face; then youre being a given whats known as an approach signal. This is an invitation for you to walk over and break the ice. I usually like to start with, Why are you making faces at me? This one almost always gets a laugh. What type of faces should you make? There isnt a strict formula. I recommend doing something thatll get a laugh. For instance, here are some faces you could make: Stick your tongue out. Give her a pouty look. Show the exaggerated pick up artist wink. Give a mock-embarrassed look. Display big shit-eating grin smile. Pretend to be really angry then crack into a smile. Give a quick head tilt (like the whats up expression.) Send a quick wave. Do a mock in love expression (grab your chest and flutter your eyes.) Show a fake a suspicious look (like youre not sure why shes looking at you.)
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If youre not sure how this works, let me give a quick example that my buddy Aaron did once. Now Aaron isnt the most attractive guy in the world, but hes pretty good with women. In fact, he met his current girlfriend at a nightclub a few years back when (upon locking eyes with her) he went to great lengths to make her laugh (at my expense, I might add.) Being the friend that he is, Aaron threw me under the bus just to get a laugh. As I was talking to a group of people, he looked over to this girl as she was sitting with her friends and started fake-choking himself pointing at me with a smug look on his face. And before I could ask Aaron what the hell he was doing, he was across the room talking to his future girlfriend. This quick story brings up a few important points: #1- I need to find a better wing man :-) #2- You dont need over elaborate gimmicks to start a conversation. #3- A friendly attitude and smile can be your secret weapon When using facial expression trick, dont be surprised if she looks away from you initially. Making contact with a complete stranger can be uncomfortable for a lot of people. Usually, a girl will look away then wait a few seconds before looking back. When she does, make sure you dont turn away! Instead, try upping the ante by smiling, nodding your head at her, or using one of the funny expressions I just mentioned! Youll find that a playful demeanor makes a woman open to talking to you. When you get a positive response or enticing smile, your only job is to walk over and introduce yourself.
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#2 The Opinion Approach

The opinion approach is an incredibly effective way to start a conversation. This technique is pretty simple to use. All you do is walk up to a woman (or group of women) and get their opinion on something. An opinion approach is used to begin a conversation with a woman, get her attention and then transition into getting to know her better. It differs from other conversation starters because it doesnt sound like some corny pick up line. Getting her opinion works many different reasons: 1) 2) 3) 4) Women love to give their opinions. Any response can be used to seed a follow-up conversation. Youre not telegraphing your intentions. Youre more interesting than most guys who approach her.
The perfect opinion approach has a few crucial elements. First, it should be an open-ended question. So it shouldnt be answered with a simple yes or no. Secondly you need to involve all the people in the group. Not just the woman you want. Any group you approach should get the impression that youre a fun, outgoing guy who isnt going to be intrusive. Next you should give a time constraint.
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If a group thinks youre going to stay for a few minutes, theyll be more likely to open up and be friendly. Usually this can be accomplished by starting the conversation like this: Hey guys. Real quick question Fourth the opinion approach should be interesting. Keep it light hearted and centered on topics women like (drama, gossip, funny, etc). Finally you need to approach with a reason. In other words, you cant give the appearance that youre randomly walking around the room asking people questions. I recommend referencing a conversation you were just having with your friends. So using the previous example, you could say something like Hey guys. Real quick question My buddy and I were just having an argument that I was hoping you could settle Creating an opinion conversation starter isnt that hard. Just sit down and think about three to four interesting questions you could ask women. For instance, heres a classic one that many guys use. (Called the G-String Conversation Starter): Hey guys, real quick question My buddy and I were just having can argument that I was hoping you could settle We were discussing a mutual friend who totally messed up with his girlfriend and cheated.
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Unfortunately his girlfriend found this other girls g-string underneath his bed. To cover for himself, my friend told his girlfriend that he has a fetish for wearing womens underwear. Whats funny is his girlfriend loves this idea and now makes him wear this G-String. So could you settle this argument for me: Do you think he should continue to cover for himself or should he come clean with his girlfriend? Like I said, this one has been used by a lot of guys. So youll definitely want to create an opener thats a little bit different. The key here is to pay attention to the elements of humor, interest, and drama thats used in this opener. All of these elements need to be used when you create your own.
#3 The Direct Approach

The final approach method doesnt require any games. Many guys think they need a magical phrase to talk to women. However thats not true. Sometimes the most direct approach works the best. What do I mean? You approach a woman and tell her that youre interested in getting to know her. No pick-up lines. No opinions. No gimmicks. You walk up and say that you saw something interesting about her and you want to know more. The key to this conversation starter is to describe something you liked about her which doesnt have anything to do with her looks. So it should be a statement that references her actions rather than her attractiveness. That way you wont come across as a cheesy pick up artist.
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Instead youre acting like a confident guy who knows what he wants and isnt afraid to go for it. I like to use a variation of this conversation starter when I see a girl during the daytime. Called the Serendipity Conversation Starter, you take advantage of the fact that a lot of women believe that fate will attract the perfect man. With this technique, you approach a woman and say how youre really busy, but there was something about her that made you to want to talk to her. For example, you could say something like: Hey, Im on my way to [Insert whatever youre doing], but you seem like a cool person who I had to meet! My name is Obviously this is a very direct way to start a conversation. She can either choose to get to know you or she doesnt. Its what they call high risk/high reward. Youll often get rejected with this one because a woman only has your appearance and body language to judge you by. So if youre not displaying a confident demeanor, then she might not be interested. But when the direct approach works, it really works. If shes interested back, youll skip a lot of the game playing that happens with indirect conversation starters. Instead youll go right to the point where you know youre interested in one another. Its great for quickly ramping up the physical escalation. When you go direct all you do is approach the girl, smile, give her a compliment, and then tell her that you just had to meet her. And this isnt a lie.
If youre approaching this girl, odds are there is something about her that does stand out. (Hopefully its more than her looks.) Depending on the situation (and your preferences), youll want to use a different adjective other than cool. For instance, some of the words you could use are: Intriguing Interesting Amusing Funny Awesome Fascinating
With this conversation starter, theres the belief that your actions are random. Play your cards right and youre the confident guy who shes been fated to meet. My advice...The direct opener is great for the daytime when theres not a lot of time to talk. Youll get right to the point, talk to her for a few minutes if shes interested, ask for her number. I recommended approaching a few women each day using this technique. Its one of the best ways to overcome many of the mental roadblocks that guys have when it comes to approaching women. (Again, if youre having trouble with approaching women, then I recommend you take a look at the Art of Approaching Course)
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Approach with Intent to Flirt

Theres one more concept I want to discuss as we finish our discussion of approaching. When talking to a woman for the first time, many guys make the mistake of not trying to attract her. Most of the time, they default to acting like a friend. Not like a potential lover. At what point should try to *attract* a woman? What frustrates me is Ill often read these sob stories from guys who want the women they met, but they simply dont understand a universal truth: Attraction starts from the moment two people meet! Its true. In order to make a woman interested, she has to feel like youre a sexually attractive guy. This doesnt happen when youre talking to her on the phone. And it doesnt happen when youre friends. The brutal reality is this. Attraction is created in those magical first minutes of a conversation. It starts with your appearance and body language. Then its either amplified (or reduced) by the things that come out of your mouth. Unfortunately, your average guy doesnt see things this way. Most of the time, hell default to a simple formula. Act nice, tell a few jokes, talk about his interests, ask predictable questions then go for her phone number.
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Now this is a perfect system if you want to display a friendly, social personality. But it does nothing to make a woman feel any sort of attraction for you. To create this feeling, you need to establish that there *might* be romantic interest on your part. You dont want to come out and say it. Instead you use flirting to communicate that youre a fun guy, but youre also a little bit dangerous. And if she meets your expectations, you could grow to like her. This can be a terrifying concept to many of you out there. Most of us were raised to treat women with respect and not say anything that could be offensive. I know this is true because Ill often read emails from my newsletter subscribers who tell me how they cant tease a girl because we just met. (These are usually the same guys who often wonder when they should make their move on a girl.) Right now, Im telling you this. If youre worried about when you should make a move, then youve already failed! In order to get the women you desire, you must work on her with the first thing you say in the first conversation. You cant wait till shes comfortable. Or when she becomes your buddy. As youve probably heard, female attraction is like a temperature dial. Youre either increasing it or decreasing it. If you wait for that one special moment to make her interested, then youre going to be waiting a long time.
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So my advice is simple. If you want a friendship with a female, then its okay to act like a friend. But if you want something more, then youll need to display a confident, flirting from the moment you approach a woman. Now with that said, lets talk about your body language. As I mentioned before, 90% of your communication is done on a nonverbal level. So its important to use what Im about to tell you
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4
Flirty, Non-Verbal Communication
Strong Body Language

Like I said before, the majority of effective communication is accomplished without saying a wordthrough your body language. Maintaining a strong physical presence is important when flirting, as 90% of communication is accomplished through your actions and demeanor. In short, what you say and what you do are two totally different concepts. In this chapter, youre going to learn how to successfully utilize nonverbal cues to your advantage when dealing with the opposite sex. Everything from the look in your eyes to your posture will be honed to insure youre giving off the best impression possible. To start, lets cover some of the basics of body language.
Eye Contact
You can tell a lot about someone simply by the way he or she looks (or doesnt look) at you. Your eyes are the most important part of your body language. They never lie. First, theres one standard to consider when using your eyes when you first start talking to a woman. When you start a conversation, hold it for at least three seconds. Anything shorter will portray you as unconfident; anything longer will make you look creepy (which you definitely dont want!) By holding
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her gaze for the standard three seconds, youre showing youre a confident guy. This may be hard to do at first especially if youre the shy type, but keep doing this till you become comfortable with holding strong eye contact with women. Next, you want to make sure youre not giving TOO much eye contact. I recommend you hold 90% of eye contact when youre doing the talking. And 50% when others are speaking. Holding strong eye contact is one of the BEST ways to show youre a confident man that woman want. Also, youll want to space out your eye contact with everybody in a group, regardless of whether or not youre attracted to them. Spend equal amount of time looking at everyone youre meeting. (so dont ONLY look at the girl you want.) To get started, lets cover an important aspect of body language that many guys get completely wrong... Finally, you want to avoid specific danger areas with your eye contact. A common complaint women have is talking to guys who looking at their breasts or otherwise eying them up during a conversation. Remember youre aim is to appear different from your male competition. So focus on her eyes when interacting with her. And dont get caught checking out other girls. Thats another way to completely screw up your chances. Keep your attention on what shes saying, holding strong eye contact the whole time.
Posture
Women look for visual cues as to what youre really like as a man. And one of the first things theyll notice is your posture. The way you carry yourself tells a lot about whats happening on the inside. So if youre feeling nervous then youre probably displaying weak body language. However if youre feeling confident then youre going to display strong body language. Just for a moment, I want to take you back to your childhood by mentioning the character Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. (If werent fortunate enough to get to know this character, Eeyore was Winnies sad and gloomy donkey pal. ) The funny thing about Eeyore is you didnt really have to be told he was sad. At the very least, you could figure it out just by looking at his constantly-slouched and pathetic looking posture. I see many guys with an Eeyore-like posture. They want to meet a girl but dont realize that the slouching, weak posture is one of the reasons its not happening. What woman in her right mind would be drawn to someone like this? If you answered no woman, youd be correct. Most women have lots of options when it comes to men. Most dont want depressed, unconfident people consuming their time.
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If YOU want to display a powerful posture, here are a few ways to get started:

Stand with your feet apart. Not closed together. Remember that needy guys cross their arms. So make sure to leave your hands by your side (outside of your pockets.) If youre having difficulty with this, try hooking your thumbs in your belt hoops, pointing your fingers down towards your crotch.
When standing in a group, take up space in a crowded area by maintaining a broad stance. Inferior guys allow others to push them around, so hold your ground by not letting others take up your space. Walk tall, keep your shoulders back, and hold your head up high. Slow down physical movements. Nervous people often reveal themselves with jerky tics or constant hand gestures. Monitor your hands to make sure theyre not fidgeting or playing with anything like a napkin, pen, etc.
When sitting, lounge back, sling your arm around the back of the chair, and spread out. This shows that youre at home and completely comfortable in any situation. Never slouch when standing. Dont be too rigid but avoid slouching your shoulders and back. When walking (and talking), hold your head high. Never look at the ground.
Overall, your posture is the biggest change you can make to your body language. If you make the adjustments I just recommended, youll notice that women will react more positively to you whenever youre talking to them.
Walking
How you move across a room can say a lot to a woman. The guys who are confident walk with a sense of purpose and style. You want to avoid walking too fast. Doing this will make appear like someone who is stressed out or nervous. Walk with purpose, like you know that people WANT to see you. Like you deserve to be noticed. Your walk should command attention. Take big steps, but do so in a deliberate, calculating manner. Furthermore, keep your hands relaxed and at the side of your body. This is a subconscious way to tell women that youre not putting up barriers between you and the people youre meeting.
Smiling
It has been said that a smile can be interpreted across the world, and this is true. A smile shows your sincerity, whereas the lack of a smile can turn women off to you. So if you really want success with women, youre going to have to show your pearly whites. However theres something you have to remember about smiling. You want to smile a lot during a conversation. But not do it to the point where you look like a grinning idiot. Smiling too much only makes you look like youre trying too hard to make people like you. Here are some pointers for improving your smile:
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Practice your smile in the mirror, and keep doing it until it till you find one that looks *right*. Remember what this feels like, so its easy to show when youre talking to women. Remember that a person smiling actually shows teeth. (Youd be surprised at the difference between a closed-mouthed smile, and a big beaming grin.) Smile with your eyes. Nine times out of ten, a person who smiles without the corners of their eyes crinkling is faking it, so make sure to crinkle!
Your smile should have a friendly vibe. But it should also show a little bit of playful, devilishness. So keep working on your smile till it really stands out from the crowd.
Touching
Heres a major secret between the guys get women and the guys who dont... Successful men always touch women throughout a conversation. One of the quickest ways to show confident body language is to establish physical contact when youre talking to a girl. The goal when first approaching a woman is to gain her trust and break past any initial resistance she might have with you. You want to express your interest in her, but not come out and say it. So youre talking, you want to emphasize certain points in your story by lightly touching her forearm or shoulder. Then when youve built up some rapport, you want to move on to playful physical flirting which includes high-fives, *mock pushing*, and hugging.
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Touching her in this manner shows youre interested in being more than her friend, but youre also not a pervert eagerly awaiting the chance to get in her pants. (The touching topic is something were going to explore later.)
Speaking
A confident speaking voice can be your secret weapon to displaying attractive body language. When you open your mouth, you want people to pay attention to what youre saying. Here are a few pointers if you have trouble with speaking:
Speak loudly. Most clubs/bars are pretty noisy, so your voice should stand out from the crowd. You might be nervous about speaking loudly. But after a bit of practice, youll grow comfortable with raising the volume of your voice.
Slow pacing. Talk slowly and with deliberation not like youre hopped up on crack. Relax, and convey the rich texture of your voice by confidently believing in what youre saying. Deepen your voice. Women are naturally attracted to guys with deep, masculine voices.
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To improve this area, draw your speech from chest not your throat. Practice talking where you can feel the vibrations coming from your diaphragm.
Show Emotion. Use your speech to express emotion. This will help maintain the interest from women when youre telling a story or asking questions. Get this effect by varying the tone and rhythm of your speech. Practice talking where you can express an amount simply by altering the patterns of speech.
Final Thoughts on Your Body Language

Well, thats it for our discussion of body language. Just remember that a woman will make up her mind about you within the first few minutes of a conversation. If youre displaying a confident demeanor then youll give off a powerful vibe. To avoid screwing up with a woman, I urge you to work on your body language to the point where you can attract her without opening your mouth! You dont have to have male-model looks to be attractive to women. For that matter, you dont have to be rich, popular, or any combination of the two either. If youre conveying the correct body language, youve got all the tools youll ever need in both love and life. Through strong body language, youre projecting a masculine, confident demeanor. Youre communicating that youre interested in a girl, without seeming low status.
Coupled with nice clothing, hair, and other physical features, your body language can give off an aura of sexuality that any female would desire.
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Reading HER Body Language

While demonstrating confident body language is important, its equally critical to know what her non-verbal communication is telling you. Its not hard to know whats going on in her headall you have to do is pay attention to her mannerisms! This skill is very much learned on an intuitive level, but it is possible to train yourself to pick up her subtle cues of attraction. So in this section, were going to look beyond her smile or words into the whole of her body language to see if shes really into you or not. Known as approach signals, these are basic signs that a woman is attracted to you and wants you to initiate a conversation. They can be something as small as a smile, or as large as a hand wave to come over, but you must learn how to recognize her green lights. Here are a few of the more basic ones: She smoothes out her clothing. She puts one or more hands on the hips. She points her body towards you. She points her feet towards you. She smoothes or touches her hair. She increases the frequency of eye contact. She maintains eye contact.
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She scans your body. She has flushed or rosy cheeks. Her pupils are dilated (a GREAT indicator, as she has virtually no control over it.) She tosses her head and hair back. She exposes her wrists toward you. She exposes the palms of her hands. She opens her legs slightly (this demonstrates an unfulfilled sexual need.) She sways her hips while walking past you. She places her hands near her crotch or breasts. She gives you a sideways glance. Her lips are wet and slightly open. Now Im not going to lie and say youll see all of these signals. Just pay close attention and youll probably get a *vibe* that a girl is interested in having you approach her. Whats your next step? If you said approach her, youre right! And once youre in a conversation, its important to know when shes into you. It has been said that actions speak louder than words. Its also been said that talk is cheap. With this in mind, switch things up by paying more attention to how a woman acts, as opposed to the words coming out of her mouth. You can sense when theres genuine emotion behind what a person is saying.
To get better at this, go somewhere where you can observe people (Ive always found a local coffee shop to be a good spot.) Watch people as they interact, and notice how they interact with their: Arms Hips Heads Facial expressions Overall attitude Emotions Eyes If youre confused at how to go about doing this, consider this example: Im actually sitting at a local coffee shop at this very moment. Across the room are a guy and girl who appear to be on a date of some sort. If they arent, then you couldve fooled me, because she is all over him. Her eyes are glued to every move he makes. Shes responding to him by throwing her head back and laughing at every word coming out of his mouth. Now shes got her hand on his bicep, and is leaning in very close to convey a certain message to him. This guys gonna get lucky (if he hasnt already!) Over time, youll get a feel for peoples body language. Listen to the inflections of their voices. Focus on how shes saying something, not what shes saying. I have absolutely no idea what this couple in the coffee shop is talking about, but whatever it is, theres a lot of attraction behind it.
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Observing others is not an OPTIONAL exercise; if you want to get better at reading (and revealing) body language, you must practice. So how do you know when a woman is attracted to you? Well in the next section, were going talk about how her eyes are the best indicator of interest.
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4 Ways Her Eyes Show Her Interest

Once again, were going to talk about the eyes. If you can learn to see behind a womans eyes, you will never question her interest in you again. Its been said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Now I cant tell if thats true. However, I can tell you that you can figure out a lot about a womans level of desire simply by seeing where her eyes go. This is valuable lesson my friend Adam taught me a few years ago. Adam is one of those naturals that people love to hate. In fact, he used to drive our buddies crazy because very-good looking women are always approaching him. One day I asked Adam how he was able to attract desirable women without making much of an effort. What Adam told me forever changed my romantic life Its kind of funny Steve Adam said. Men think theyre the only ones who check out the opposite sex. Truth is women do this just as much. Maybe more. My secret is Im really good at picking up these visual cues. After noticing my blank stare he continued... Okay, think of it this way. Ever got caught looking at a girls breasts? The thing that gave you away was your eyes. Without saying a word, she KNEW you were checking her out because your eyes were on her tits. Now Im not saying women are as obvious as guys. But, they do check out guys. My secret is I know how to decipher the signals of interest in a woman simply watching where her eyes go.
Then I know how to use my own body language to quickly ramp up her levels of sexual desire. If you do this correctly, its like putting a Jedi Mind Trick on a girl. Needless to say, Adam completely floored me with this secret. He then went on to reveal four ways a woman will show interest through the way she establishes eye contact. So lets talk about these signals and what they actually mean:
#1 The Sneaky Peak

Just as the name describes The Sneaky Peek is when a girl will lock eyes with you and quickly look away. Its sneaky because usually after a moment or two youll catch her giving you a subtle second-look in your direction. This is a form of eye contact youll often find in a social gathering where people are clustered into groups. Like a bar or a club. When you get a look like this, you know that she probably has some form of interest. (If shes not interested, then she would avert her eyes and never look in your direction again.) Out of all forms of eye contact, you will most often encounter The Sneaky Peak. Usually this is one of the better indicators that a woman is interested in talking to you. And all you have to do is approach her.
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#2- The Once Over

As you can probably guess, The Once Over is when a womans eyes make an up-and-down scan over your entire body. She may start from the top and work her way down, or the exact opposite, but if she does this to you, be assured of one thing...she has seen something she like. In way, shes enjoying one quality about you (like your face, clothes, build, etc.) and is trying to see if you possess anything else that she wants. The funny thing is this is done on a very subconscious level and woman rarely even knows shes doing it. Youll often get a look like this when youre passing by a woman. Its generally very quick, so you may miss it if youre not paying attention.
#3- The Puppy Dog

When a person is excited, there are certain physiological responses they cannot control. Dilated pupils are one of these responses. Its an unconscious action thats a surefire giveaway when a woman is feeling a lot of attraction towards you. The wider that little black dot in the middle of her eye gets, the more shes into you (unless, of course, she high on something at the time.) I call this The Puppy Dog because youll often get this look when shes starting to feel attraction. Like a cute puppy dog, shes eyeing you like youre the most important person in the world.
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Typically youll get this look when youre in the middle of a conversation with a woman. Shell give it to you at the point when she stops being polite and actually starts feeling that strong pull of attraction.
#4 The Kiss Me
While The Once Over is more of an investigative type of glance, The Kiss Me look is more aggressive in nature. When a woman looks you over left to right (especially around your face), this means shes already established a certain comfort level with you. Shes feeling HIGH levels of attraction and wants you to make a move. In other words, she wants you to kiss her. Out of all forms of eye contact, this is my personal favorite. When I get a look like this, I simply look her deep in her eyes, and if she flicks her eyes back and forth, I know thats my signal to go for it. (Now this is more in the territory of seduction which well lightly explore at the end of this book.) Now that weve discussed her eye contact, lets talk about another way to demonstrate powerful non-verbal communication
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Touching a Woman
Some people believe that you can transfer energy when you touch another person. Think of how true this need is when were children. Whenever hurt or sad, we seek out the touch of those closest to us. When talking to women, you want to deepen the connection by touching her. At first, youll touch the safe areas like her shoulder, forearm, or hand, all of which can easily increase attraction. I f she touches you back, this is a signal that she is comfortable with you being in her personal space. Once youve become more acquainted with her, try upping the ante a bit by touching areas that are more intrusive. The elbows, back, hips, thighs, and waist are generally a good bet during this phase. Just remember that she will require a level of trust and comfort before you can touch these areas. Finally you have the areas that require a lot of comfort, such as her neck, chest, and inner thigh. Look to see if she retreats when you touch these. If she flinches, stop, but if she seems comfortable with this touch, its a safe bet that shes ready to be kissed. Touching is all about your energy. If youre nervous or scared, she will easily pick up on this vibe.
Kissing and touching should be part of a fun, energetic experience. You want to touch with confidence, and keep things positive. If done correctly, you can fill her with this positive energy.
Rules of Touching
As I previously mentioned, the one thing that really separates the naturals with women from everyone else is the way (and amount) of touching they establish in a conversation. Done correctly, your touch can quickly ignite the sparks of attraction. But if you do it wrong, you risk coming across as needy or even worse---that creepy guy. So in this section, Im going to talk about touching specifically were going to cover five basic rules: Rule #1 Touch Everybody The last thing you want to be is one of those creepy types who grope women. In order to establish a friendly vibe with everyone, you should act comfortable with everyone. This includes men too. When youre talking to a new group, touch those around you as youre talking. A quick pat on the shoulder during a story shows that youre a fun, energetic guy. Also it shows that youre a confident guy who isnt afraid to be a little dominant. Rule #2 Be Friendly
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When you first touch people, you want to do so in a way that doesnt seem threatening. This can include pats on the arm or elbow, and handshakes or high fives are good ideas too. Again, the best way to touch is to be a naturally outgoing guy who uses touching as a way to have fun and be social. Rule #3 Touch Immediately The best way to establish a touching pattern is to initiate it from the moment you enter the conversation. This will make your actions seem more natural and congruent to your overall personality. If you wait till 15 minutes in a conversation, itll appear like youre now putting the moves on any girl youre talking to. Rule #4 Make It Part of your Strategy When meeting women, you follow a strategy which emphasizes social touching. Whether its a personality test or routine, you want to establish a physical contact in a fun manner. You can also use storytelling which well talk about in another section. Rule #5 Test Things Out One way to test a womans level of attraction is to touch her. If you see her reciprocating and touching you back, then you know shes into you. But if she shies away from your touch, then you know that shes probably not that interested in you. Seeing her response to your touch is one of the quickest ways to figure out if you need to flirt a little more to build attraction or if its safe to escalate the interaction.
Touching To Flirt
Touching is a great way to quickly build attraction. Your goal with touching her is to create those feelings of sexual tension thats part of the male-female interaction. Also, touching is also the best way to tell if she likes you back. The key is to never direct attention at the touching. It should seem like a natural part of the conversation. If your moves are jerky and hesitant, then youll hurt rather than help your chances of success. The process should be gradual, without sudden movements or big moves. You want to make it part of your overall flirty conversation. In a way, your touching should slowly warm up her emotional oven. Remember that touching is not defined by a single moment its a non-verbal expression of your mutual desire. One mistake that guys make is to hesitate when it comes time for touching. What Ive discovered is its better to start out doing it too much rather then too little. After awhile, youll learn the subtle art of touching and how it should be used within a social context. To help you out, here is a great model which breaks down how you should advance the touching with women youve met:
#1- Social Touching

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The first step of touching is how you would normally talk to people that youve met. In fact, I recommend you do this type of touching with everyone that you meet. The more you do this in a social setting, the more natural it appears. For instance, some of the social touching you can do includes: Shaking hands Touching the arms to prove a point Using others hands to demonstrate a personality test Giving high fives or the fist tap to people Brushing arms Standing next to a girl, letting your body contact her Just remember to establish physical contact with those around you in normal, natural manner.
#2- Accidental Touching

Accidental touching goes beyond social touching. It is not something that would be done with people that you barely know. When you accidentally touch a woman, it shouldnt be obvious. When it happens, she should be left wondering if it was an accidentor something that you did on purpose. In addition, some of these actions will involve a pretense for touching her. While youre not making a move on her, this technique still goes beyond the casual way that you would touch a stranger. Here are some ways you can accidentally touch her: Sit next to each other with your body touching hers.
Stand in close proximity to each other with your bodies touching. Touch her sides or stomach when youre playfully telling a story. Touch some part of her body to discuss an accessory shes wearing (necklace, earring, bracelet, etc.) Talk with your faces close together if youre in a loud venue. Lightly touch the small of her back when youre telling a story. Playfully banter and use physical contact to tease her.
#3- Obvious Touching

Once youve grown comfortable with touching her, youll reach a moment when you can progress to obvious, overt signs of your intentions. With these signs, youre revealing that there is a physical connection, and some signs of sexual attraction. With that said, obvious touching should only be established when youve passed the qualification stage, and youre building comfort. Some obvious touching can include: Walking arm-in-arm with her Holding hands Having her sit on your lap Having your arm around her At this point, she should be comfortable with your touch and enjoy the sensations youre giving her.
#4- Sensual Touching
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The final level of touching is when youre about to (or already have) kissed the woman. By touching her in a sensual manner, youre giving an indication that things will be moving towards an intimate encounter. Knowing this, it is crucial that you know her intentions are the same as yours. This type of touching should be complete with strong and direct eye contact, and it generally works best in a comfortable environment. Sensual touching can include the following: Smelling her hair Nuzzling her neck, shoulders, or similar parts Stroking her face with your hands Holding or caressing her face Pulling her close towards you This touching progression model should give a great example of how to quickly become more intimate with women that you meet. If you use this with each encounter, youll be able to quickly sexually escalate with a lot of the women you meet.
#5- More on Touching

Theres no standard for how to go about touching a girl. A lot depends on outside factors, such as your environment, comfort level, and her personality. With that said, you must remain flexible in this situation.
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This is important to realize, because some people cringe at the idea of being touched. Ethnicity (and background) really makes a difference in how certain people regard touching. Americans and British folks, for example, generally require a two-foot buffer between themselves and others in order to be comfortable. If a Hispanic or Italian person (two nationalities that are incredibly comfortable touching) invades this space, theyre likely to feel like their personal space is being invaded. Going into someones personal space is part of touching; the problem is that a lot of men completely screw up touching. We tend to grope, and some lack any and all self-control that is necessary for effective physical contact. The idea is to make her desire more of your touchnot run for her life. Whats considered appropriate is really a subjective matter. Some women are comfortable with lots of touching. Some arent. Thats why its really important to start with social touching and study the way she reacts. Women are very sensitive to touch, and its never a neutral thing with them. It either has a positive or negative impact on her. Well now that you understand touching, lets move on to the bulk of the Flirt Mastery system. In the next section, were going to cover conversations and the right way to communicate with women.
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5
Conversation 101
Introduction to Conversations
Conversations are the lifeblood to flirting. As we discussed before, the things you say are whatll make you stand out from other guys. When youre in a conversation with a woman this is the time to showcase all the attractive qualities that they truly desire. In other words, you must show that youre a desirable male through the topics you discuss. So in this section were going to cover the basics of conversation. Specifically, theres a certain way to communicate with a woman youre interested in. This is much different from the way you speak to your friends and the people you know. Lets get to it! As we start the section on conversations I want to recommend you implement the following mantra into your dating life
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A.B.F. (Always Be Flirting)

When dealing with any woman, I want you to follow this simple philosophy: A.B.F. Always Be Flirting. From this moment on youre going to flirt with any woman you see. I dont care if its a little old lady on line at the supermarket, your job is to turn on the charm whenever youre around a female. The idea is simple, when consistently flirt youll develop that playful attitude that women absolutely love. So instead of having the mindset of I see an attractive girl, now I have to flirt, youll flirt as a reflexive, natural part of your personality. When youre always flirting, youll give off that positive and fun energy that attracts women. Flirting for fun not only shows those around you that youre unafraid of their opinion. This helps you project an engaging vibe thatll naturally draw people to you. Guys who develop this attitude tend to have several female friends, simply because they give the girls the attention they desire. Now I know what youre thinking: Im not reading this book because I need more girl friends. But the truth is the more female friends youll make the more you increase your opportunities for meeting their friends.
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Conversation Outcomes
As we begin our conversation about conversations, I think its important to briefly touch on a mistake I see a lot of guys make. Most men have no idea what they want from the women they meet. A guy like this starts a conversation and simply talks without any idea of what hes trying to achieve. Then at the end of the discussion, he fumbles around trying to think of the magical words thatll make her interested. Now I want to ask you something: If you dont know what youre looking for, how can you make anything happen? Remember this---In order to get what you want from women, your goal should be clear, and established before you start talking. Think of your objective in terms of sales. A good salesman knows what he expects from a client long before he makes his pitch. He then steers the conversation towards closing the deal. Its simple. Every conversation outcome with a woman requires a completely different strategy. If you want to have sex with her that night, then your actions will be completely different from the strategies youd use to get her number. As you probably know, any achievement in life starts with a goal. Establishing a clear outcome activates your conscious mind to work towards it. And when it comes to women, you have to first know what you want before you can get it!
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Success with women is like anything else in life...When you have a specific plan it becomes that much easier to get it! In other words, during the first conversation you should decide what outcome you want from the interaction. That way youll be able to steer the conversation towards actually getting it. To best way to get the most from your conversations is to establish a clear goal for what you want. I recommend taking it one step further by creating a mental picture of your desired outcome. Next, think of the steps you need to take to actually achieve this outcome. What most guys dont realize is that each environment or approach could have a different outcome. In some situations, you might want to focus on getting a girls number, while in others, you might be looking for a no-strings-attached one night stand. To give you an idea of what Im talking about, here are a few different questions you should ask yourself before engaging a woman in conversation: Are you looking for a girlfriend? Do you want someone to casually date? Are you interested in adding her to your social circle? Should you try to bring her to another location to continue the conversation? Do you want to sleep with her that night? Are you simply trying to practice your conversation skills? Theres no right or wrong answer here. The important lesson is to establish a goal for each conversation so you can control its outcomes. For instance, if youre looking for a one night stand, you would focus on creating a sexually charged conversation, flirting heavily, and
quickly escalate the physical touching. All of these are designed to switch her sexual attraction triggers. On the other hand, if you want a girlfriend, then you would approach a girl who fits your ideal type, and follow the standard conversation tactics to attract her, then focus on setting up a future meeting (ie: a first date). With this type of conversation, you focus on a long-term outcome rather than a short-term result, such as sleeping with her. Having a goal for each conversation is one of the best ways to get the types of girls (and situations) you want. So the next time youre about to approach a girl figure out what outcomes youre seeking with this conversation.
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What NOT to Do During a Conversation

In order to successfully flirt, you must listen to common sense and avoid doing the things thatll only end up ruining your chances. In this section, were going to cover a few simple mistakes that you can kill your chances with a woman. Here are ten actions you want to avoid:
#1- Acting Negative or Crass

As mentioned before, being pessimistic does nothing to build attraction. Some common mistakes which guys of this character make include: Making fun of yourself: (Also known as self-deprecating humor) Dont talk about a subject which points out a major flaw, emphasizes a weakness, or puts you down. If you dont find yourself appealing, why on earth would she? Joking about your looks: Never joke or make fun of your appearance. Youre actually repelling her if you do. Negative topics: Dont bring up horrific news stories, or other negative subjects. Keep the conversation lively. Insulting her: This one should be a no-brainer. Feel free to playfully tease a girl, but dont say anything insulting. Dirty jokes: She is not your buddy, so avoid the disgusting jokes that repulse her. Swearing: While its a common thing to do, your aim is to be uncommon. Slipping an F-bomb once or twice is forgivable, but overall, foul language is a big turnoff.
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Guy movies: Dont be the movie-quote guy. It might help once or twice, but doing a running gag from Old School wont help your game much. Arguing with her: Dont argue or contradict her. If you feel the need to disagree ask why she believes the way she does. Complaining: Your conversation shouldnt be a litany of bitching about the things you hate in the world. This goes along with my advice about pessimism. Constant complaining opens you up for pity, which is not attractive. Bragging: Dont brag or talk too much about your accomplishments. You may think this makes you look good, but it doesnt. Kissing her ass: Never kiss her ass. She is not to be put on a pedestal. Be a slight challenge.
#2 Being Right vs. Getting Laid

My grandpa taught me a lot of things, but perhaps his most valuable piece of advice was to never argue with women. Think about it Even if you win, you havent accomplished anything. Your aim in the game is not to win an argument over politics its to attract her. In order to do so, you have to tap into her emotions. Trust me: if you piss her off, shell feel itand so will you. Instead of arguing with her, continue probing her emotional side by asking her more about her position on the topic. By doing so, youre actually establishing rapport with her (and increasing attraction at the same time!) Dont be concerned with your opposing viewpoint. Determine whats more important being right or getting laid. Then take the steps necessary to make that a reality.
While you want to let her argue her point, dont allow her to disrespect you. In general, its okay to make her feel that shes correct. However, if you meet an especially combative person, then you know it might be time to get rid of her. One final pointTheres a big difference between bantering and arguing. I banter with women all the time. This is different because Im doing it in a teasing, playful mannerNot because Im trying to win an argument.
#3 Acting Shy
Repeat after me Shyness is not attractive. We all have our moments where we feel less than social the key is to not let this be your primary quality. If youre having trouble talking to women, then youre definitely not displaying positive male traits like confidence and interest. To skyrocket your success with women you must overcome your shyness. One of the quick fixes to this problem is to get into the habit of initiating conversations with 5 or more people each day. By talking to lots of different people, youll become comfortable with talking to women when youre trying to attract them.
#4 Bragging too Much

Let me be honest here: Women hate men who brag about themselves. Honestly, most women dont care about the car you drive, the money you have, or your incredible job. Still, so many guys make the mistake of assuming that material wealth is all they need to snag a hot chick. What they dont realize is arrogance and bragging is really an indicator of low self-confidence. They feel they have to prove their worth, when in reality, a guy whos comfortable in his own skin knows his worth. If you want to impress a woman, you must use your personality to attract her. Again, instead of talking about your accomplishments, just focus on being a fun and exciting guy.
#5- Being a Bore

Many guys assume that a conversation is just a series of questions and answers. In essence, they think a conversation is like an interview where you find out information about a woman. Unfortunately this does nothing to build attraction. Grilling her like shes on a job interview is not the way to impress her. Be interesting, not boring. You can do this by telling interesting stories, using cold reading tricks, and asking provocative questions. (Dont worry were going to get to each of these techniques.) No matter what youre talking about, make sure the conversation is fun for all involved. Talk about things that connect to a girls emotions, like excitement, drama, and interest.
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#6- Not Leading

Lead the conversation towards the things you want to discuss. If she starts talking about something boring or depressing, have the leadership ability to confidently move to a different topic. Remember that you are in control, and if you have enough material, you can literally head her in directions where you display complete and total attractiveness. Stories, routines, and conversations all serve a purpose. Theyre designed to be a subtle way for you to demonstrate high status while remaining in control. If you run out of stories, try asking her questions about herself. By taking control of the conversation and using the material youre going to learn, youll show that you can demonstrate your value while maintaining leadership of the conversation.
#7- Talking to Only One Person

If youre in a conversation with more than one person make sure you involve the entire group. So dont concentrate on one girl and ignore her friends. Trust me youll regret doing this when youre faced with the dreaded we gotta go girl. You can build a lot of attraction by handling an entire group. Engage everyone in the conversation. This is a great way to demonstrate that you have a high level of social acuity. As a result, shell pick up the vibe that youre completely comfortable
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with talking to lots of different people. Basically this is another way to demonstrate the quality of leadership.
#8- Avoiding Physical Contact

Like I mentioned before, your touch is one of the first steps towards building sexual tension. The problem is guys often forget to establish physical contact during the first few minutes of a conversation. When you start talking to a girl you want to touch her. You want to get a girl to feel that physical connection when youre in close proximity. By not touching a girl, youre missing out on a golden opportunity for quickly creating sexual chemistry. You want to make her feel like shes connected to you on a seductive level.
#9- Acting Strange

Ill admit that some of the stuff I cover in this course is a little out there. So theres a definite danger of coming across as really bizarre to women. You want to be unique and memorable. But you also dont want to come across as a complete freak-show to women. Dont make them wonder if youve just escaped from a mental institution. While you want to excite her through stories and a few core routines, you do want to have engage in a lot of the small talk that normal adults share. Think about the topics that people talk about (work, friends, hobbies, etc.) When she says something, find an interesting topic to latch onto it, and create a deeper connection from it.
Dont go into bizarre rants which make no sense to people. Youll end up looking like a complete loon. So remember this: Unique = Good Bizarre = Bad Stick with this formula and youll be fine.
#10- Not Showing Your Vulnerable Side

As youre getting to know a woman its important to build a solid connection. A connection where she feels like she really feels like theres a real person behind all the flash and teasing comments. The problem is guys often forget to show that their human just like women. This is similar to the tendency where a lot of men feel the need to constantly impress women. The truth is you can often create heaps of attraction by showing a tender, almost vulnerable side of your personality. Now I mean you should act like some sort of feminized wussy man where you constantly discuss your feelings. Instead I recommend telling a story or two that shows youre less than perfect. Usually a funny anecdote or childhood story can show that you have flaws but youre not going to get all weepy on her. Okay, I know it seems like Ive spent a lot of time talking about what not to do. So lets talk about a few things you should focus on as youre talking to women
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9 Rules for a Great Conversation

Its actually pretty hard to tell you what to say during a conversation because I simply cant predict what youre going to discuss. Sure I can give a few pointers and attraction building topics, but I cant give a step-by-step plan for every possible conversational tangent. What you say to one person will never be equal to what you say to another. Thats why (when flirting) its hard to truly use material thats completely rehearsed or memorized. Sure, there are a number of shortcuts, but overall, theres a lot to be said about concentrating on creating fun conversations that thrill women. With that being said, I believe there are a number of basic rules you should follow when youre in a conversation with a woman. You want to focus on creating a playful bantering exchange thatll be an extension of the naturally-attractive personality I discussed in a previous section. You want to show an attitude that women will absolutely love. In this section, Im going to cover a few basic rules for demonstrating attractive qualities during your conversations. Remember these, and youll have practically any woman feeding out of the palm of your hand. So what are we waiting for? Lets begin
#1 The 80/20 Conversation Rule

A girl friend of my called recently to complain about a guy she just started dating. She said that their first date literally felt like work on
her part, in that she had to constantly think of ways to get him to talk to her. Whats worse was that he was the one to ask her out! Needless to say, shes not going to see him again. Whats the point of this story? If youre sincerely interested in a girl, talk to her! In fact, be prepared to carry 80% of the conversation at first. Dont expect her to hold up 50% (or in my friends case, 100%) of the conversation, because if that happens, everything will collapse. At some point, shell get into the conversation, but you need be the one to lead and carry it. Keep talking to her, even if shes not responding. Be prepared to blast through the conversation, but make sure to add in pauses to give her an opportunity to talk. One thing to remember is to ask open-ended, rather than yes or no, questions which have not been used by other guys. From there, you can use her responses to get deeper into the conversation, or you can use examples from your own life. The rule of thumb is to have a few seed responses to anything that comes out of your mouth. Basically you want to have follow up responses in the off chance that she doesnt response or gives a dull response. Just remember that its your responsibility to keep the conversation going. Dont expect the woman to do all the talking.
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#2 Be Authoritative
Authority comes from a sense of confidence where you feel like you belong in a conversation with a woman. Most guys treat conversations in a meek manner like theyre almost asking for permission to keep talking. Have the mindset where what youre saying is important and that youre a prize to be won. Instead of giving her the power, make her feel privileged to be around you. A guy with authority remains unfazed by anything that happens. As long as you can keep your cool, it really doesnt matter what happens, because you know you belong in the conversation.
#3 Assume the Close

Like a salesperson, you have to assume the close. When youre talking to a woman, have the attitude that shes already attracted. Even if youre getting the feedback that shes not. This is a powerful mindset where you can literally create a reality that was initially only in your head. When you assume shes attracted, youll project a powerful, confident vibe thats naturally attracted to women. Sure this might seem a little cocky, but youll find that a lot of women will be drawn to your my shit dont stink attitude. My advice is to get into every conversation with the mindset that shes already interested in you.
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#4- Be Interesting
Youve heard me say thisMost guys are really boring. They do nothing to spice up the conversation or talk about interesting things. Your goal is to be the exception the rule. Youre going to be the guy who she walks away from wondering when shell see you next. Impressing a woman means standing out in an interesting manner. You have a unique attitude. You talk about cool things. And you seem to have a special insight into what makes her tick. This is an attitude that you can naturally develop by incorporating the Better Prospect Principles that I mentioned in the previous section. Just remember that your job is to stand out in any conversation you have with women.
#5 Control the Interaction

I know we already touched on this subject, but I think its important to readdress it. Your job is to lead the interaction. Women are used to being in charge of the communication, because most guys dont have very much to contribute. Guys are always surrendering their power to women in conversations. What does this mean to you? Basically it means that you should never let a woman control the direction of the conversation. Ask her questions. Listen to what she says and respond when appropriate. But dont let her dominate the things youre talking about.
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By relieving her of the responsibility to carry a conversation youre demonstrating a masculine power that women actually love. The truth is women like a woman who takes charge and isnt afraid to steer things towards the outcomes he desires.
#6 Show a Slight Lack of Interest

Showing a slight lack of interest is actually a good thing. Remember you want to be a little challenging which is a quality that most guys wont demonstrate. Over eagerness is not attractive, and it makes you appear to be very low-status. You cant be desperate for attention; that is a huge turnoff! Be casual and carefree. Like youre not overly concerned if something happens or not with this woman. Think back to our discussion of attraction. Whenever you meet a woman, focus on creating attraction within her, before you even think of showing that youre interested in her. You want a woman to think that she has to work hard for your attention. Never forget that youre the prize!
#7 Assume Familiarity
A quick way to make an instant connection with a person is to create a feeling like youre already the best of friends. To accomplish this, a powerful technique that I recommend is to talk to women in a way that appears as though you already know her. Like shes a girl you like but you also find slightly annoying at times. Your conversation should be done in a way thats teasing but friendly.
Youre acting like shes a truly interesting person, but youre still not sure if shes going to be worth getting to know better. One of my favorite ways to accomplish familiarity with a woman is to immediately give her a nickname. Generally when I meet a girl, Ill find out where shes from, what she does for a living, or her hobbies. This isnt done because I really care. Its more about saddling her with a nickname that shes going to hate. And you can do the same! When you first meet a woman, give her a nickname thats both funny and a little teasing. For instance, when the movie Borat was popular, I gave this nickname to any Russian or Eastern European girl I met. The best part is it made these girls really mad because they lived nowhere near Kazakhstan. What I like about this technique is you instantly create a private joke that the two of you share. Sure she might be a little pissed. But this is the good kind of mad where youre building sexual tension. The cool thing about a nickname is create an instant connection the next time you talk to her. Mentioning it creates that immediate sense of familiarity where she knows comfortable around you. If youre having trouble thinking of a nickname, try to hone in on her personality to come up with one. You can use one of the following: Spaz Dork
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Goofball Brat Loser Player or Playa Assuming familiarity is a powerful dynamic that can help you create rapid levels of attraction. While you dont necessarily have to give her a nickname, you should look for ways to treat her in a way like you would treat a close friend.
#8 Use the Scarcity Principle

According to this principle, humans tend to operate on a fear of loss instead of a desire for gain Heres how the Scarcity Principle would work when youre talking to a woman: Imagine youre getting the vibe from a woman that shes not interested in you. Maybe she tells you she doesnt want to give you her number or go on a date. Normally, most guys would give up and walk away, but you wont! Instead of giving up, you should convince her that shes going to miss out on something incredible. If I get a sense that its not going well, I like to cut a conversation short, saying something like: Well it was nice talking to you, maybe well speak to each other again. In most situations you probably wont talk to her again, but the key point here is youre ending a conversation on your terms. Youre not being the guy that lingers to long.
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Plus if a woman thinks she has you, then she wont be that interested in you. On the other hand, if she thinks shes going to lose you, shell be more interested in pursuing you. Ive had a few times where I cut short what I thought was a dead conversation only to reconnect with a girl later in the evening. The reason this happened was because I took away the fun conversation should could have had and let other low status guy annoy her with their feeble attempts to pick her up. Have the mindset that youre high status and if a girl doesnt seem interested, then give her the gift of missing you.
#9 Be Prepared to Walk Away

This is similar to the previous point. No matter how attractive a girl is, always be prepared to walk away from a conversation. This is not failure. Its more about time management. If youre getting a negative vibemove on. Remember that if youve just met a woman, you really havent lost anything. You gave it a shot; it failed; and youre still alive. Simply realize that off nights are a part of the learning curve. Its not always easy; just learn from your mistakes and keep pressing on. What I also recommend is to explain to a woman that you have a lot going on with your life. Remember youre a busy guy. If a conversation isnt going well, simply tell her that you should probably get back to what you were doing or that you have to meet up with your friends.
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No girl should be your main priority. Theres no loss in walking away from something thats simply not working.
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Humor and Teasing

Okay, I cheated a little. While I just talked about 9 rules for a great conversation, theres an additional skill you need to show. Actually its a skill that supersedes all others.
The Most Important Conversation Skill

If you get this skill right, itll be like youve performed a Jedi Mind Trick on the women youre meeting. Whats this skill? Always use humor, specifically teasing, when youre talking to women. A funny, sarcastic personality can be your *secret weapon* for quickly building attraction. Unfortunately a lot of guys completely screw this one up. And usually they crash and burn in a spectacular fashion. One of the core principles of teasing is to create a specific mindset every time youre in a conversation with a woman. In essence, you want to tease and make fun of a girl. But this is done in a way that makes her laugh and want to know more about you. Most guys get teasing wrong because they think it involves making fun of a girl.
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They think theyre building attraction by ridiculing her looks, or other sensitive qualities. This isnt teasing. This is acting like a dick. My advice for teasing is simple Go into every conversation with the mindset that she already likes and youre comfortable with each other. Your teasing is done to trip her up and call out her behavior of trying to get you. How do you do this? Well its simple. You steal the lines that women traditionally use to trip up guys. In a way youre reframing the interaction and subtly demonstrating that youre the prize to be won. For instance, if she touches you a lot or tries to buy you a drink, you say something like Youre just trying to take advantage of me, or You just want me for my body. Now these are just examples. Any teasing you do with a woman should be tailored to the specific situation. Your goal for teasing is to make her laugh while demonstrating that youre a high status guy. Now that you understand the basics behind teasing, lets review what I like to call.
The 3 Golden Rules of Teasing

Golden Rule #1 Never Tease OR Mock Yourself Have you ever been around a girl who constantly talks about how shes fat or ugly just to get attention or guilt a person into disagreeing?
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Shes 56 and 100 pounds soaking wet. Yet shes bitching about being a fat cow. Its annoying, right? Even worseHave you ever talked to a girl who complains about her flaws? You didnt notice them before, but as soon as they were mentioned, you became very aware of their existence. My point is this kind of behavior is just as annoying to women. Even if youre joking around, you dont want to point out the negative qualities that you posses. Because once you do, shell become very aware of them. Poking fun at your own shortcomings demonstrates low status to women. In a way, youre showing that youre sensitive about one of your characteristics. Teasing comments should increase your status not lower it. Golden Rule #2 Teasing, Not Insulting Direct your humor at the girls demeanor, not her looks. Yeah, I know youre probably not used to teasing women, but there is a good-natured way to do it thatll help you quickly build attraction. Before we go on, let me remind you of something we discussed before Most men kiss too much ass when theyre talking to women. These guys will shower them with compliments in the hopes that itll help them get lucky. The problem is this kind of behavior is very boring and predictable to women. A woman knows a guy is kissing her ass because he probably wants sex.
Teasing is one of the ways to stand apart from the hordes of horny guys trying to get into her pants. When you tease, shell wonder what youre going to say next. Youre different because youre acting like a confident man who likes to present a challenge. In a way, youre acting like a jerk. But a jerk that makes her laugh and feel that tingle of sexual excitement. Now getting back to my original point Teasing never means acting like a complete asshole. Dont make fun of her looks. Dont say stuff thatll hurt her feelings. And dont insult her. Remember were going for a feeling of assumed familiarity. In a way, youre acting like person who she already knows her. Youre not afraid to playfully banter and make a few jokes at her expense. For instance if shes wearing large, bright jewelry, you can tell her something like, Damn woman! All that bling youre wearing is gonna blind me! And then start a routine about how shes into gangster rap artist. Thats teasing, not insulting. Heres a rule of thumbbe playful and warm, not mean. Golden Rule #3 Teasing is One Part of Your Personality The final rule is to know when to stop teasing. The truth is theres a time to be funny and theres a time to be serious.
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If youve used teasing effectively and you build a sense of familiarity, shell eventually tell you some personal things. This is not the time to crack a joke. So if she starts telling you how her grandmother just died, dont ask her if she bit the dust while riding her Harley. In fact, your conversation should move back and forth between being serious and playful. Be a little unpredictable, but also pay attention to her general attitude. This will give you all the feedback about how you should act during the discussion. As youve probably discovered, women want guys who have more to offer than a comedy routine. In order for you to be the attractive guy she wants, you have to show other aspects of your personality as well. Finally, the delivery of your comments is as important (of not more so) than the comments themselves. Youre goal is to avoid being a standup comedian working the room for attention. Instead, use teasing as a spice for the conversation. As youre talking, toss in little things here and there thatll throw her off balance. For instance if a woman mentions something you dont agree with, say a line like, Thats it, were breaking up. Then, when she says something you like, say, Alright...I guess we can go out again. But youre on probation. One slip, and its over. Then immediately move into a somewhat serious topic. I really love to tease women. I feel its a crucial element to sexual attraction. Unfortunately like any tool it can be overused. Teasing should be an important part of your personality-- but not the only part.
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If you blend it with other qualities like leadership, confidence, and charisma, youll be the perfect example of her dream guy!
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How to Blend Teasing and Humor

Okay, now that you understand the rules for teasing, lets talk about how to incorporate this as a crucial part of a humorous personality. As Ive mentioned, teasing is about being fun, but its also being charming. In conversations with women, its a way to demonstrate that you have high social status. Whereas most guys kiss girls asses, youre someone who isnt afraid to push her away with a bratty comment, then pull her back in with a demonstration of interest. For example, you could tease her by taking her hand in yours, only to push it away and tease her for being too forward. Then you continue on by saying that shes the one treating you like a piece of meat and is only interested in one thing... Now I know this might not make logical sense to you. But you have to remember that flirting isnt about logic; its about emotion. Think of being a little kid again... When you were 10, you teased a girl that you liked by swatting her, or pulling her hair. And while youd probably get arrested if you tried this stuff now, its still basically the same idea. Put another way: Teasing is the new method of pulling a girls ponytail.
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Teasing should be light when you first meet a woman. Stick to topics like her choice in purses. Accuse her of buying knock-off or imitation clothing. Remember you want to be funny...not come across as an egotistical prick. The rule of thumb is if shes laughing, then your stuff is working. Now one of the best ways to understand humor is to study comedy and comedians. The caveat here is to avoid the comedy routines where the person makes fun of himself the whole time. Your comedy should never be used to point out your own flaws or insecurities. This will only lower your social value and showcase the unattractive side of your personality. To blend humor with teasing, you should joke with women in a way thats playful and not offensive. Here are three ways to do this:
#1 Exaggeration
This concept is simple You take something about her and pick on her in a ridiculous manner. For example, try saying something like, I like the size of your handbag. Its like youre hiding a Mexican army in there! Or if shes wearing a large piece of jewelry you say Damn girl, thats some serious bling you got there! Exaggeration is a great way to joke with her about a small thing she does and tease where youre assuming familiarity.
#2- Role Reversals
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This is all about taking the lines traditionally used by women, and reversing them on her. For instance, your average girl is always being viewed as a sexual object by men. So you reverse roles by accusing her of hitting on you and trying to get into your pants. Not only does this make you seem funny, but it also shows that you understand women. A variation of this technique is to make the self-conscious statements youll often hear girls tell each other. A comment like Does this outfit make my butt look big? will be sure to make her laugh.
#3- Use Characters

Taking on the role of a funny character can be excellent way to show your humor. This is where you take on a persona or a type of guy she typically meets. For instance after talking with a girl for awhile, Ill joke about her getting hit on by all these *weirdos*. Then Ill immediately switch into a nerdy persona (hands in pocket, slouchy posture, geeky sounding voice). Then Ill ask her to join me at the next Star Trek Convention. Another one that works really well where I live is the Jersey Guy routine. I live on the Jersey Shore where these clowns migrate during the summer. So if Im talking to the girl, Ill start pretending Im a big meathead who likes to pump his fists. (This is kind of hard to describe, but if you lived here, you would definitely get the joke.) These characters work really well because she knows that youre a fun, interesting guy. It shows that you *get* what she goes through and youre not like the losers she normally deals with. One rule of thumb for creating characters...Think of the types of guys who usually annoy her, then assume this persona. But do it in a
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way that lets her know that you understand what its like for her to deal with someone like this. At this you might be asking what if Im not a funny guy? Like any other skill youve learned, if you want to get better at humor, you have to practice it. Watch some of the better stand-up comedians and see how they use humor. Another great technique is to pay attention to your friends and the funny things you discuss together. You can get some of your best material from the jokes you throw at one another. Finally, I recommend you pay close attention to the thingsthat come out of a womans mouth. Sometimes the things shes saying will be provide the best opportunities for humor. Wait till she says something weird and then riff on it. For instance, you could misinterpret everything she says into a sexual context, like shes trying to take advantage of you. Look for every sexual innuendo that she gives you and exaggerate the little things. So if she says, This dress doesnt look right on me, tease her by saying something like, Yeah, I didnt want to say anything If youre able to pick up on the little things around you, its easy to create a personality thats both funny and incredibly attractive to women!
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Conversation Considerations
There are certain stumbling blocks that youll encounter during a conversation with a woman. Its important to identify what they are and have a strategic plan for managing them. In this section, were going to discuss two of these obstacles
Avoiding Negativity
In a previous section, I discussed the importance of remaining in control whenever youre talking to a girl. Whys that? Well, when you can direct the discussion, you can steer it towards topics that increase rather than decrease the sexual tension. Heres what I mean... Your average guy allows a woman to dominate conversations and talk about whatever is on her mind. So if shes in a bad mood, is feeling depressed, or angry youll inevitably end up listening to her problems, or other topics you could care less about. Again I want to emphasize that your goal is to create sexual attraction. By letting a girl talk about negative, depressing topics youll only end up having a negative, depressing conversation.
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In other words, whenever negativity is brought into the mix, shell subconsciously associate these feelings towards you. Youre not her therapist, so she shouldnt treat you this way. My advise is to quickly change topics whenever she starts down a path towards negativity. You dont have to be a jerk about it. All you have to do is acknowledge what she just said, then swtich gears. If shes talking about something thats bad, say something sympathetic like, God that sounds horrible. Shell inevitably respond, to which you should immediately redirect her towards a topic thats more fun and lighthearted. For example, respond to her by saying, I hate when things happen like that. Hopefully theyll find a way to get past that. Follow that with... That totally reminds me of _____ Then immediately start with a story or anecdote. This story doesnt even have to relate to what shes saying. Remember your goal is to talk about something positive, not listen to her complain about her life. So even if you switch toa non-relevant topic, shell respond as long as youre talking about something interesting. You want to direct the conversation back to the fun of sexual attraction. And if you do this correctly, shell have to respond to what youre saying. Now in some cases, shell really be stuck on her emotional rant and wont let you change topics. When this happens, stop the conversation by going to the bathroom to regroup and plan a new strategy. Think of a new topic that you can immediately use, such as a funny story you can tell when you return to the table.
And if this doesnt work, and she still needs to talk about her problems, then this might be indication for you to move on to anew girl. Trust me, Ive learned over the last few years that the trainwreck type of girls come with a bunch of warning signs. And one of these signals is ability to only talk about negative things. So if shes constantly talking about her problems then she might be the type who will bring drama into your life. This is definitely not a good thing. If you encounter a girl like this, run, dont walk, towards the door... Anyway, I recommmend you keep your conversations light-hearted and fun. Steer away from negatvitiy. If shes smiling, teasing back, and having a good time, then you know youre building sexual chemistry!
Be Lover Not a Friend

I see this happen all the time Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy acts like a girls friend, hoping shell like him in return. Boy gets ditched for another guy who makes her feel tingly inside. Theres an undeniable truth to attraction. If you want a woman to become interested, you have to embody the qualities of a man she wants to date. And this doesnt happen if try to pretend to be her friend.
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Its a dangerous game to play the friend route. Because you have to shift her thinking of you as a buddy and magically change things where she views you as a lover. Attraction does NOT work that way! Now we just talked about avoiding negative topics. So you might be wondering if youll ruin your chances if you dont listen to her bitch about her problems. The short answer is no. Absolutely, positively NO. When you first talk to a woman and theres any spark of interest on her part, shell wonder how youll fit into her life: Are you an attractive guy she wants to date? Or Are you a buddy she can complain to about her problems? You really cant be both. Either youre the shoulder to cry on or youre the guy who makes her heart race. In order to prevent the friend trap you have to remember that its not fair to make you act like her best girl friend or therapist. If you get into a long-term relationship youll eventually go to each other with your problems, but this isnt something that should be done when you first meet. The bottom line is its unfair to have a girl push her problems on you, especially when you just started talking to her. So many guys mistake being the shoulder to lean on as a girl having a genuine interest. It is for this very reason that you need to
establish that line between being her friend and potential lover early on in the conversation. A lover has a lower level of empathy. While theres some level of trust there, its never 100%. This is necessary to maintain heightened levels of sexual tension. If your intention is to be her lover, not her friend, you do want to establish some level of trust. Just be wary of becoming her buddy. If you notice that the conversation never evolves toward sexuality or flirting (despite your efforts), youre probably headed in the direction of being her friend. On the other hand, if you decide you wouldnt mind being her friend, then by all means...listen away! Give her your undivided attention, let her complain to you about the guys who mistreat her, and be prepared to watch some other dude hook up with her.
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Specific Conversation Tactics

As youre talking to women, there a few different tactics you want to implement. In this section, were going to review four different ways to increase your conversation success. Each of these will help hook her interest and increase your chances at creating sexual tension:
Conversation Topics
So, youre in a conversation with a woman. Shes attractive. Shes interesting. And she might be into you. The question is what do you talk about? A major obstacle guys have is to know what to discuss around women. Most arent really sure what topics will make her interested. Like were discussed, attraction starts with how you talk. Its not about what you say. A guy who knows how to create attraction can take a menu and simply read it to a woman.All the while sparking tons of sexual chemistry. So keep in mind that what youre talking about isnt that important. Really the only thing you need to worry about is keeping the conversation going! First off, when in doubt, always focus the conversation on the woman. Whether youre teasing her about something, or discussing her favorite childhood memory, youll get a positive response when you talk about what she enjoys. Remember people (especially women) love to talk about themselves.
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If you get stuck, wondering what to say next, ask a question about a topic shes mentioned. Or even something shes wearing. A simple whats the story behind those earrings question can save a dying a conversation. Moving on...Besides focusing a conversation on her, there are a number of chick-centric topics that almost all women enjoy. Here are a few that Ive personally used: Pop culture We all share a common experience of whats currently in at the moment. Whether its a popular movie, song, celebrity, technology or kitsch item; you can quickly form a bond with a girl by casually mentioning a reference to something thats popular at that moment. Using a pop culture as a conversation topic is one of the best ways to establish some commonality, without making it seem likeyoure trying to force a connection. As an example, I currently tell a story about what happened on a Snuggie pub crawl I recently attended. Now if a girl has seen the commercials for the Snuggie, then Ive formed an instant common bond. And if she hasnt, then I can tease her about not having the most awesomely comfortable blanket ever invented! [My words] In addition you can also interject references to pop culture in the stories that you tell women. For instance, one of my favorite stories describes a group of girls from Eastern Europe who were stalking me. And instead of simply saying where they were from, I describe how they had an accent like Borat.
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By including a pop culture reference into conversations, youre giving woman a powerful frame of reference that makes it easier to feel connected to you. Travel destinations Not only is this one of my favorite topics, it also triggers a feeling of adventure in women whenever you talk about it. Maybe you just got back from Tahiti, or maybe youre about to go somewhere cool. If you dont have a trip planned, then mention some of the best places youve been to. Talk about why you really liked them. If you havent traveled, ask about her experiences. Whats the coolest thing shes ever seen? Why? Fun childhood memories Make a positive connection to some of the memories she had growing up. What did she want to be when she grew up? What was the first pet she had? Was she a geek in high school or was she popular? Remember even the smallest memory can create a fun, emotion-filled conversation topic. Dreams and aspirations Whats your dream house? What goals do you want to achieve, and what are hers? Wheres one place you must visit before you die?
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Hopefully you should have plenty to talk about in this area. The truth is a man with high status has a tons of things he wants to do in life (Besides meet women.) Great experiences With this conversation topic, youll harness the power of a well told story. When youre talking to a woman, you should have at least 4 or 5 stories that you can tell her. All of which subtly demonstrate that youre a guy who has many of the qualities which make you a catch. On the surface, youre telling a story about something youve done, but at the same time youre subtly telling her that youre a popular guy, who possesses many in-demand qualities (intelligence, humor, confidence, popularity, and social awareness.) Furthermore, get her talking about some of her favorite experiences. Whats the craziest thing shes done? Has she had a life defining moment? What are the hobbies she enjoys? Relationship gossip Women love talking about relationships---Especially if theyre filled with drama. Whether its one of her friends or a famous celebrity from the cover of People, you can feed into the *naughty* side of her personality by discussing a topic thats a little bit taboo. Start with a funny, but revealing story, about one of your friends and watch as she tells a dozen anecdotes from her social circle. Uplifting news or current events This conversation topic shows her that youre up with the times. Find something cute, funny, or interesting that you saw on the news and discuss what it means to you.
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Just make sure to steer away from religion, politics, or polarizing social issues on this one. People tend to be very passionate about one or both of these topics, and arguments arising from them are seldom friendly. What if questions What would you do if you had a million dollars and never had to work again? If you were king of America, what would you do? This conversation topic stretches the imagination and shows the creative side of your personality. What I really like about this is you can ask a what if question, then immediately slip into a fun roleplaying scenario where the two of you discuss what youll do when this happens in your lives. Immediate surroundings Look around a room when youre talking to a woman. Discuss the things that you notice which are conversation worthy. Point out a couple in the room. Do they look happy? Are they on a first date? What are they talking about? If you train your brain to notice your surroundings, youll never run out of conversation topics! In my opinion, you can discuss just about anything when you first meet a woman. My rule of thumb is this. If shes smiling, laughing and engaged in the conversation, then its a great topic!
Conversation Hooks
Ever talk to a girl and notice shes completely uninterested in what youre saying?
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Sucks, doesnt it? This used to happen to me all the time. No matter what I said, I could never make them interested in me. This kept happening until I learned a little secret about talking to women...A conversations need sexual tension. To illustrate this concept, let talk about a popular television show called Lost. Hate or love it, youve probably heard of Lost. Each week millions of viewers tune in to watch this program. Yet if you really pay attention, youd realize that a lot doesnt happen with this show. The keep dangling hints but never really reveal anything critical to overall plot. So whats the secret to the success of Lost? You can answer it with one simple word---curiosity. After 5+ years, this show still keeps viewers curious about the mystery surrounding this island and the characters who inhabit it. The great thing about Lost is how it keeps people wondering whatll happen next. Sure youll get an answer once in awhile. But when you do, the writers make sure the solution raises a few more questions. Now if youve ever talked to a loyal viewer of Lost, youd realize how much they love this show. It keeps them in suspense, but it never reveals its secrets. Yet people are completely nuts about this show. You might be wondering how the show Lost applies to success with women...
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The answer is simple. Whenever youre talking to a woman, you use curiosity to keep her interested. Done correctly, you can make her hang on your every word. Now if you paid close attention to this start of this section, then you noticed how I used curiosity to hook your interest. At the beginning, I promised to tell you a secret about talking to women. However, I didnt reveal it right away. If I did my job correctly, you were a little bit frustrated that it took awhile to get to my point. But you also kept reading because you wanted a resolution to the question I put in your mind. Hopefully you now see what I did: 1) 2) 3) I promised to reveal a secret I created interest because this secret held meaning to you I immediately shifted to a different topic and talked about something related to this secret
How can you apply this to women? You use what I like to call a Tension Hook. With a Tension Hook, you make a declarative statement during a conversation which hints at something youve just noticed about her. The trick is to say it as a passing comment, then immediately start talking about something else. This works because people are naturally curious. Especially if youre talking about them. By offering *secret knowledge*, youll instantly spike her interest in what youre saying.
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Heres an example: Say youre in a conversation with a woman and youre talking about a recent event in your life. During the middle of the story, you pause and say something like: Oh wow, I just noticed something about you. Probably no one else has said this before...actually I dont think I should say it. Anyway as I was saying... Then smile and immediately shift back to the story. The key here is to quickly introduce this comment, yet seem like its not that important for you to discuss. And in all likelihood, shell really want to know the answer to this question youve put in her mind. Youre literally hooking her into the conversation by creating a sense of curiosity about your comment. And if you remember my discussion of sexual tension, you know that you can create lots of attraction by never giving a woman exactly what she wants: Now heres where it gets really interesting... After making this comment and moving back to your story, shell wonder what youve just noticed about her. At this point, shell probably interrupt you and ask you to reveal this secret. The trick is to NOT immediately tell her. Instead use this an opportunity to tease. For instance, if she interrupts my story, Ill come back with something like: Slow your roll Hot Dog, I was telling a story. or Wow, didnt your mother teach you to not interrupt people. Then Ill go right back to my story. This is important because you want her to experience that sensation of tension. You know something about her and youre not telling her. Most guys mess this up because theyre afraid to maintain sexual tension.
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To really maximize the technique, Ill continue to change topics. Whenever she brings up the comment I made, I tease her by saying things like I dont think you can handle it or I dont know...we just met or Im sure if I should tell you. And if Im in a really *evil* mood, Ill make her work to get the answer. Ill say something like: Okay Ill tell you, but I have to first know if youre the type of girl who can handle it. Let me ask you question... Then Ill immediately ask a question that qualifies her. As an example: I really like adventurous people. Whats the craziest thing youve ever done? This really works because youre now getting her to prove herself just to get an answer to your question. Now you might be wondering what you should say when you finally reveal this secret. Well my response will always include a comment from one of the following topics:

Her body language Her choice of clothing or accessories Her personality Her background
Specifically you could use one of the Cold Reading statements that are discussed in a later section. For instance, you could say something like: People treat you differently because youre good looking. In fact, youve probably had a hard time making friends, because you feel like
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youre being judged because of your exterior looks not whats inside. You want to be liked for your energy and personality. You knows whats interesting about this comment? You can pretty much say this about any attractive woman. Girls like this experience jealousy from others and often have selfesteem issues with being liked for whats on the inside. Now before we move on, let me tell you something...The more you build up the comment, the more you need to make it really significant. If you tease the crap out of a woman and make her qualify herself, youd better say something of value. Thats why its important to have at least a dozen different generic comments to use with women. I recommend writing down a bunch of Tension Hooks from the list of topics I provided before. Create statements you can basically use with anyone during a conversation. Just make sure it actually applies to something that you really did notice. Then use one whenever you feel a conversation is dying OR she doesnt seem that interested. I recommend you try using different Tension Hooks with girls. After awhile youll notice that certain ones work better than others. So keep using the ones that hook a conversation and ditch the ones that simply dont work. Furthermore, I recommend you use 3 to 4 Tension Hooks when youre talking to a woman. Keep introducing them in a conversation. Sometimes you can reveal them right away. Other times you can use them to tease and qualify a woman.
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Moving Between Conversations

As weve discussed your conversation skills can make or break your success with women. Simply put, if you cant talk to a girl then youre not going to go home with her. The funny thing is most guys can talk make small talk, but they dont know how to make the right kind of transitions between topics. So to help you out, here are a different ways to move between your conversations. #1-No transition. The simplest way to move between conversation topics is to simply not worry about it. The truth is, people who are close never feel the need to transition from topic to topic; they just talk naturally. You want to create a feeling of familiarity. And the best way to do this is to not look for any connection between the last thing you said and the next. Just talk about what you want to talk about. This is the one of the qualities that we discussed before---being a leader. When you dont make a transition youre showing that you have the confidence to take control of a conversation.
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All you have to say is Anyway..., then start steer the discussion towards whatever you want to discuss. #2- Relate to your experiences. People (especially women) love stories. So a great way to move between conversation topics is to relate her experiences to something that youve gone through. Say something like Oh my god, that totally reminds me of... then start telling her a story that emphasizes your positive qualities. #3-Responding to her. One of the easiest ways to move between topics is to find a hook in the most recent thing she said to start another topic. Use her statements to keep feeding the conversation. At some point, youll find that you have plenty of hidden conversations to discuss. Either proceed down these paths, or use them as reserves for later that you can refocus on. Ask her questions about what just said. Find the positive emotion behind what shes telling you. Joke around and tease her playfully. To do this, say something like How did that make you feel? or Oh wow, what was that like? Moving between conversations should feel natural to both participants. All you really need to do is have a few interesting things to say about yourself and pay close attention to the things shes telling you.
My Favorite Flirting Line

Heres a nugget that I use to seed any conversation I have with women. I dont know why it works, but its pretty effective and simple. All you do is pick up on something shes said or a physical trait, and say, You know what they say about women who [Insert whatever quality youre emphasizing like height, job, etc.] Like You know what they say about dancers? Shell ask you to elaborate, and you REFUSE to tell her. This is another great push-pull technique, as shell be dying to know what youre thinking!
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Mastering Your Conversation Skills

Okay as we near the conclusion of our discussion of conversations, I want to review what I consider to be the 5 master rules for a successful conversation. While weve discussed a few of these before, I think its important to go over these and make sure youre following these rules during conversations with women
#1 Be a Leader
Dynamic conversations come from a leading frame, so dont ask too many questions. I like to ask questions whenever Im stuck with what to say. But for the most part, I like leading the interaction and discuss the topics that I know are building attraction. Instead of asking you questions you want to make statements. YOU are the one who brings up new conversation threads. Dont wait till theres the awkward moment where youre trying to think of what to say next. Learn how to relate to the emotion and rhythm of a conversation, rather than the topic.
#2- Use the Conversational Pause

On the other hand, pausing is a powerful effect. Stopping in between statements is not only good for effect; it also allows you time to search for the right words to say next. Use pauses to your benefit, as they generally show a strong level of confidence. The self-assured man stops and holds his thoughts, while the nervous guy hurries through his conversation.
The high status male is confident in the point hes trying to make, while the lower status male is eager to gain approval. You can usually tell the two apart by how they handle a break in conversation. The confident man is relaxed during this period and isnt afraid to have silence in the discussion. And the nervous guy punctuates this silence with Ummm, or So
#3- Establish Strong Eye Contact

First, let me point out that this should only be done when you know theres a mutual attraction between the two of you. If you just met the girl, shes likely to run away if youre giving her a long stare. However, once you know she likes you, hold her eyes for a little longer than shes comfortable with. This will only increase her attraction for you. Its important to be aware of how youre establishing eye contact. I think everyone knows what a maniacs eyes look like, and youre objective is to do the exact opposite. This is mostly about a focused gaze. Think bedroom eyes.
#4- Force Rapport

Its pretty easy to become a great conversationalist, and the good news is that you dont have to be an overly-talkative guy. Most people are too concerned with the impression theyre making, but its just as important to understand the person youre talking to.
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Demonstrate that you understand what shes saying by using simple phrases such as I know what youre saying or I totally understand. Be aware, however, that you do actually have to listen to the girl in order for these lines to work. In fact, try rephrasing what she just said. This helps her develop a feeling that youre really listening to her.
#5- The High Status Mindset

Your conversations shouldnt be a mash-up of tricks and routines. Its important to understand the context of the conversation, and what youre trying to communicate. When talking to a girl, you need to project an attitude (through your body language) that you dont need sex. Basically that youre not needy guy desperate for attention. Never forget this attitude. If you pressure her too much and act like a sex-starved horndog, youll lose her. As youre talking to women, try to remember the following mindsets:

Your conversations should reveal that youre a fun, energetic guy. Youre confident, and you dont have to act like an asshole to prove it either. Youre trustworthy, have tons of self-discipline, and are a skilled lover too!
Believe these things yourself, and they will subtly demonstrate this attitude through your interactions with women.
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Remember that its not about the words youre saying its about your frame of mind, which shows through your attitude. Everyone (especially women) can detect a fake person. Your attitude should project your positive qualities without you having to say a single word. Keeping that in mind, you need to know that the words coming out of your mouth arent nearly as important as how theyre being said. If you want to tap into the emotional side of a womans brain, you have to learn how to describe your emotions. Make everything you say interesting. You can even bring up negative things, as long as you talk about them in an interesting manner. Instead of complaining, talk about how a bad circumstance impacted people, or how it shouldve been done. Focus on positive qualities in the conversation, rather than the negative aspects of others. Which brings me to another point never, under any circumstances, speak negatively about others when youre with a girl. Women, by their very nature, are very empathetic, loving, and nurturing. With that said, the fact that youre making fun of the fat guy at the other end of the room is not going to impress her. In fact, it just might disqualify you all together.
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Conversation Obstacles
Conversations dont always work out the way you intend. In fact, there are often times where youll experience specific problems that you need to overcome. I call these Conversation Obstacles. In this section, were going to cover how to deal with specific issues that arise when talking to a woman
Non-Responsive Women
Sometimes, no matter what you do, the conversation just wont go anywhere. Dont take this personally; some people mesh, and some people dont. On the flipside, there may be a factor youre overlooking For instance, maybe shes just really shy. A girl friend of mine once told me that when shes really into a guy, she shuts down, almost out of nervousness. You never know: This could very well be the issue at hand. In this situation, give her the benefit of the doubt. Get answers by probing deeper. My advice is to keep trying till you get a clear indication that shes not into you. Lead the conversation by describing some things that you find important. Who knowsmaybe talking about something personal, shell start to open up and talk more about herself.
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The Bitch Shield

Theres a common problem that often happens when men start conversations with women. And to be honest, its something that causes a ton of anxiety in guys. This is commonly known as The Bitch Shield. Youve probably seen this before. You approach a woman, but she barely responds to what youre saying, she stares off into space, and otherwise gives you the cold shoulder. In short...shes acting like a bitch! Now before I continue, let me make one thing clear. When a woman acts this way, its not because shes a mean or angry person. And shes probably not a bitch. Instead this attitude is usually a reaction to something that you did (or didnt) do. The fact is MANY of the girls who use The Bitch Shield are usually really friendly. However theres a specific reason they act this way. Allow me to explain Chris Rock was right when he said: Every day women are offered dick! From the moment she gets up to the moment she goes to sleep, an attractive woman is bombarded by guys who want to sleep with her. As a result, its only natural to develop a defense mechanism to avoid talking to the men she doesnt find attractive.
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Since girls dont have time to talk to EVERY guy who tries to initiate a conversation, they use The Bitch Shield to subtly get rid of men they deem not worthy. So how do you know when a woman is using a Bitch Shield? Well there are a number of verbal and non-verbal signals shell give which indicate a lack of interest on her part. This can include the following:

Shell tell you she has a boyfriend. Shell say rude or abrupt comments. Shell position her body away from you. Shell lock you out of a conversation. Shell break eye contact and look around the room. Shell be disinterested in what youre saying. Shell be defensive to your comments. Shell pull her friends away to a new location. Shell tell you to go away.
As you can see some of this behavior can seem pretty rude. What you have to remember is this behavior is not her fault...its yours! Women judge men from their actions and body language. If youre not demonstrating high value, then its only natural for a woman to give you the cold shoulder. When you dont show that youre *worth* knowing, its only natural that she wont be interested. Now if youve approached a number of women, then you know The
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Bitch Shield can be quite intimidating. What you have to remember is its important to understand this behavior and find a way to get past it. The solution is pretty simple... When you first approach a woman, you have to demonstrate that youre not trying to hit on her. So ditch the corny pick up lines. Instead use one of the 3 approach techniques like I discussed before. Furthermore, here are a few qualities you can demonstrate thatll help reduce her chances of using the Bitch Shield:

Use slightly teasing comments when you first start talking. (i.e., like you dont care about the outcome of the conversation.) Talk to other women, or bring a girl friend in with you. Give a time constraint. Im on my out, but I just had to say.... Display disinterested body language (i.e., dont stare at her.) Look like youre ready to walk away. Pay no attention to her bitch shield, in other words dont get flustered if she says anything mean or rude.
By demonstrating these mannerisms youll show that youre not trying to hit on her, and youre not going to act like someone who will creep her out. This will help put her at ease and make her comfortable with your presence. And as the conversation evolves you can use this opportunity to flirt and create lots of attraction!
Finding The Hook Point
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What is The Hook Point? [Credit goes to the pick-up artist Mystery for this concept] A hook point is generally any moment in a conversation when your target woman is enjoying your conversation and shows signs of attraction. Its basically when she stops being polite (if she was) and genuinely enjoys what youre saying. Its called The Hook Point because youve now hooked her into wanting you around. Basically, youve demonstrated high value, and shes now attracted to you. Once youve reached this point, you can go from starting a conversation to building deep levels of conversation. So how do know when youve reached The Hook Point? The answer is simple. Women demonstrate a number of signals that show theyre interested and want you around. Primarily, you can tell when a woman is at her hook point when she: Smiles, laughs, and genuinely enjoys your conversation Faces and/or directs her body language towards you Tries to bring up additional topics of conversation Starts to ask about you (name, job, hobbies, etc.) Touches, pushes, or playfully teases you. Why are these signals important? Well, when you approach a girl (or group of girls), you want to keep talking until you reach your hook point, OR you completely crash and burn.
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Even if the women dont seem particularly interested at first, you must keep introducing different things (stories, flirting, playful games, etc.) until you reach the hook point. And if the hook point never arrives, then have the mindset that youve at least gained some practice with talking to women.
Disagreeing with Women

Sometimes you can build a lot of attraction by disagreeing with women. By playfully arguing you can create a feeling of sexual tension which does more for you than telling a long-winded story. As weve discussed, one of the archetypes that attracts a large number of women is the bad-boy persona. This is the guy whos not afraid to live his own life, and doesnt seem too concerned with what others (especially women) really care about. We now know that women are attracted to this type of personality because a guy like this exudes qualities such as confidence, fun, and excitement. Now youre probably an average guy. Someone doesnt want to walk around acting like a complete asshole to a woman. So Im not telling you to act abusive or say mean things to women. The question is how can you demonstrate the bad-boy attitude without being a complete jerk?
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Well, one of the ways Ive found how to do this by playfully disagreeing with a woman. In the past, I discussed how sexual tension is the best way to create attraction. And one of the best ways to create this feeling is to use what I call a disconnecter. In short, a disconnecter is a statement that contradicts or disagrees with a woman during a conversation. Whereas most guys agree with everything a girl says, youll be the man who isnt afraid to do a little teasing when you dont see her viewpoint. In short, youre purposefully disconnecting from the conversation. Why does it work? When you use a disconnecter, you become a high status male who isnt afraid to argue with what a woman says. Even if your statements create a bit of dissonance, youll build the kind of tension that makes you naturally attractive. Think of it this way: When you disagree with a woman (in a playful manner), youre demonstrating a strong and confident personality. Shell be attracted to you because shes probably used to nice guys who roll over and agree with everything she says. By using a disconnecter, youre showing that you know when to disagree and and up for yourself. The important thing to remember is that you shouldnt argue or emotionally react to her statements. In other words, dont verbally attack her every time she opens her mouth. Instead look for topics about which you have a strong opinion, then voice it.
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If you can use a disconnecter in a playful manner, youll show that you have a strong personality. Youre someone who is fun, but also knows how to stand up for himself. The main point of using a disconnecter is to demonstrate the fact that youre not afraid to disagree with a woman. Most guys go through the first couple of hours with women afraid to disagree with anything they say, even if it means going against their true personality. Dont be this guy! Instead, act like someone who isnt afraid to show that he has an opinion and isnt afraid to voice it.
Handling Rejection
Many guys dont know how to handle rejection by a woman. So how do get over being rejected by a woman? First off, its important to remember that you should never let any negative outcome from a conversation bear a reflection of who you are as a person. If she doesnt like you then move on to someone who will. Next, its equally important to remember that you cant avoid rejection. To get better with women, you have to be willing to risk having a woman say to your face that shes not interested. Yeah, its not a great feeling. But its also part of the learning process. I would be lying if I said EVERY conversation will lead to you getting the girl. There will be times when a woman is simply not
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interested. And no amount of routines or clever lines will make her want you. Now most girls will be polite-- Even if theyre not interested. Theyll simply make a weak excuse about getting back to their friends and say goodbye. On the other hand, sometimes youll encounter a real mean and nasty girl who seems to get sick pleasure out of insulting you. So what do you do then? Well when a woman harshly rejects you, there are two basic options: #1- You can try to save face by insulting her #2- You can cut the conversation short and walk away. Lets go over each one. Your first option is to insult her back. Many guys try to save face by saying a deliberately mean comment when a girl is insulting. His feelings are hurt, so he feels the need to hurt back. In my opinion, insulting people will get you nowhere. Being mean to a woman because she rejects you can be the worst mistake you could make. Not only will you seem bitter, but itll decrease your overall social value in this particular venue. In other words, a loud insult to a group of girls can eliminate your chances of success with everyone around you! Now lets cover the second way to end a conversation.
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If youre rejected by a girl, another solution is to be polite and walk away. You dont stoop to insults. Instead you cut the conversation short and move on with your life. Dont try to save face when insulted by rude behavior. Instead maintain your high status by not letting a rude comment affect your attitude. My secret to success is due to the fact that I simply dont care what a woman thinks about me. If shes being dismissive, then I immediately say myself Next, then go talk to someone else. I refuse to waste mental energy agonizing over a rude comment made by some girl I just met. For instance, when Im completely rejected by a girl (or shes simply not being responsive), Ill say one of the following:

Well, I gotta get back to my friends. See you later. It was a pleasure meeting you. Have a nice day. Talk to you later.
Dont get into a verbal confrontation with a girl who rejects you. Instead use one of the four eject statements I just described. Each is a great way to end a conversation without any drama which allows you to quickly move on to the next girl. I highly recommend that you deal with rejection in this manner. It shows that no particular outcome with a woman is that important to you. Remember that we all fail from time to time, but if you let it affect the way you act, youre not going to improve your success with women.
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6
Flirt through Storytelling
Introduction to Storytelling
The stories you tell are an excellent way to flirt with women. When talking to an interesting guy, women want to imagine what its like to be part of his life. Through storytelling you showcase the qualities that we discussed in the beginning of this guide, while increasing the sexual tension. With a story you can demonstrate a number of traits, like confidence, leadership, pre-selection and high social value. Thats why its important to learn how to tell a good story. Stories show the human side of your personality. Since the beginning of time, mankind shared a common bond through the tales they told. Through your past experiences, you can show what you have to offer the girl youre interested in. Stories communicate to women the emotional side that they dont see in most of the men they meet If youre like other guys, therell be moments in a conversation when you cant think of anything to say. You could be talking to a great woman one minute, and the next, your mind suddenly goes blank, leaving you with nothing to talk about. Once this happens, you can say goodbye to any chance you have to attract her. The good news is that there is a way to completely CAPTIVATE her attention during a conversation. All you have to do is utilize the power of storytelling.
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Think about it this way. Im sure there have been times in your life when a person has had your undivided attention simply because he or she is able to tell a really interesting story. You can do the same to women! By telling her entertaining stories (with you as the central character), its entirely possible to hypnotize her into a trance of attraction.
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Why Women Love Stories

Okay, now that you know why people like stories lets really get into the reasons why women like stories. As youve heard me say, women connect attraction to the emotions they feel around a certain guy. So if you can make her feel something positive then you can make her attracted. When you tell a quality story, youre providing her with a glimpse into the exciting and fun life you live. Done correctly, your story will connect to all the emotions that a woman finds attractive. Passion. Romance. Adventure. Jealousy. Excitement. Surprise. Fear. All of these are powerful emotions you can create when you tell a good story. In addition, your stories can *subtly* demonstrate the many qualities that make a man attractive to a woman. Things like high status, pre-selection, social standing, and excitement are all elements that cannot be seen when you first talk to a woman. As you know, women dont like guys who brag. The best way to get around this is to mention a seemingly innocent anecdote which alludes to some of the things youve done.
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For instance, youll sound arrogant if you tell a woman that youve travelled to 35 different countries. On the other hand, you seem interesting if you talk about a lesson you learned while hiking through the mountains in Peru. See the difference? To get started, I urge you to think of 3 to 4 personal experiences youve had during your life. Think of what makes them interesting. What positive qualities they can showcase. And what emotions women can connect to. Then think of parts of the story which a woman will find both interesting and entertaining. Write down ALL the elements of this story. And practice telling it till it sounds natural and dynamic. Furthermore, many guys think they should use a different story with every new woman they meet. Thats not true. My advice...If you have a GREAT story, share it with every girl you meet. As an example, one story I often use is about the time I was running during the wintertime, and Bruce Springsteen almost hit me with his car (He lives in my hometown). I mention how he gave me the finger and then drove away. Since this happened 15 years ago, Ive had plenty of time to practice this story. And Ive learned to tell it in a way that gets women laughing.
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Furthermore, this story subtly tells a woman that Im athletic, dedicated (since I run during ice storms) and have a funny sense of humor. Now that you understand the importance of stories, lets get down to the nitty-gritty and learn how to craft stories that are highly intoxicating to women.
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Crafting Your Stories

The elements of a story are pretty simple. In fact, I have a step-by-step formula I use to craft a story thatll really impress a woman. If you follow this blueprints you can create your own stories thatll leave a lasting impression
Element #1 The Topic

The best material comes from reading between the lines of life. Anything can make a good story; the key is to develop the emotions behind the story. In short, you should be interesting, not the people, places, or things you discuss. Stories are used to attract women, so cut out all the details that dont accomplish this. Focus on your feelings and reactions to the story to better acquaint people with who you are as a person. Even the most boring topic can become interesting, as long as its coupled with your unique perspective of the world. For instance, the story of how my buddy was pulled down while walking his girlfriends poodle may not sound captivating, but it is when I tell it. Instead of harping on the details, I emphasize the image of a big, bulky man with his toy dog. The fact that he was taken down by ten pounds of poodle only adds to the storys interest. Women laugh hysterically when they imagine this happening (and besides, women LOVE dogs.)
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The specific topic of the story is not as important as the picture it paints of you. So dont feel like you have to fabricate some wild yarn to impress a woman. So choose stories from your own personal experiences. The truth is we all have interesting things happen to us from time to time. Its just a simple matter of seeing those events through fresh eyes. Remember that just because youve known the story for years doesnt mean a woman wont find it interesting.
Element #2 The Lead In

The goal of the lead-in is to connect the story to the topic at hand. Sure you can tell a story with no transition, but its always more effective to give a reason why youre telling it. You can create a lead-in by asking a question or beginning a conversation with a declarative statement. For instance, if you have a great vacation story, your lead-in can be a question about her travels. Then use her response to tell your interesting story. Or if you want to talk about a crazy event that happened at a concert, quickly mention the band thats currently playing in the bar or on the jukebox. In short, give her reason that youre telling this particular story.
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Element #3 Crafting the Story

Once you have a good lead-in for a story, you need to develop the idea. One mistake guys often make is to focus on facts instead of emotions. As you recently learned, this is due to the different conversation styles between the two sexes. Women talk about emotions, while men are more tactical with a topic. If you want to be successful at telling stories to women, you must tell a story that includes and elicits emotional reactions within them. This may be hard at first, but try to keep your facts to a minimum. Tap into your feminine side (yes every guy has one, even if they dont want to admit it) and focus on how you felt about the experience youre sharing. Tell the girl what it was like to go through this experience. This will engage her and make her more interested in what youre saying.
Element #4 The Characters

Think of some of the best stand-up comedians you know. Most of their material centers around specific characters and the things they go through, and thats what makes these guys so funny. People get the most out of stories they can relate toespecially women. The point is that your stories need to have characters. There are two types of characters the main character, and the supporting characters.
The most intriguing stories are the ones where your listeners can identify with the main character, so if possible, tell stories where youre the main character. You also want to make sure that youre talking about yourself in a positive manner. Dont bring up qualities like stupidity or being an asshole. Your goal is to bring her into your world through your stories, and putting yourself down will only drive her away. Your main character should be the one who is driving the action forward. Stray away from stories where you witnessed something. Instead, make it so that you were an active participant. For instance, the story about my buddy and the poodle wasnt something I just witnessed. I was actually there, and I was the good friend who helped him up from the ground (after laughing hysterically at him.) While I wasnt the main character in this one, its still relatable enough to engage any listener.
Element #5 Details
The details of the story should capture the imagination of the women youre meeting. With details, youre filling in the blanks of her mind, creating a special world that youre describing to her. Think about how you can completely describe what happened and give details that paint a picture in her mind. Going back to the story about my buddy and the dog, I never tell it without giving details about my friends physical size, the dogs size,
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the faces made by witnesses, and even better, my buddys face after hitting the ground. Your stories should make her feel like shes actually inside the story, watching it unfold.
Element #6 The Action

A good story has stuff happening. Dont just tell her about how you passed the time at work earlier that day, because seriouslywho cares? The best stories steer away from the everyday, mundane things. In short, they have action. Action can include any of the following: The character wants something and is going after it The character has a completely unique experience The character learns a really important lesson Almost every story is some variation of these. What point are you trying to get across? Understand the message youre trying to communicate with this story, and make it worth listening to.
Element #7 Demonstrate High Value

The stories you tell women can make all the difference when it comes time to trying to attract them.
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Again, you want to tell stories that demonstrate positive personality traits like confidence, leadership, and humor. That way, you can demonstrate your high status without showing off. Your story should tell the listener, Im important and desirable, without you actually saying it. For instance you could briefly mention such statements like the following: My ex-girlfriend was in town for a shoot My buddy had back-stage passes to this show I was in town to check out my friends art premiere We were on this marathon hike in the mountains We decided to check out this new hot club that was opening... My friends and I went on this sailing trip... Make sure your high-status statement fits with the story, and you have a reason to bring it up. In other words, dont begin with a comment about your BMW if your car has nothing to do with the story. Even more important dont lie. If you dont even have a BMW, dont say that you do.
Element #8 Obstacles
You want to throw some obstacles at your characters---Things that provide a little bit of a challenge. Think about the little hurdles you had to get over to reach your goal, and focus on those. When telling a story, list all the steps that you had to take to achieve what you wanted to accomplish.
People will be interested to hear about the things you had to do. Think of every great story. There is always a heros journey where the character grows from the experience he undertakes. The drama is in wondering whatll happen as he goes against insurmountable odds. With your stories, you want to discuss what you had to overcome to make things turn out in your favor.
Element #9- Be Dramatic

Your stories should have a certain dramatic flair. Your aim (as previously mentioned) is to be the main character in the story, or at least an active participant. With that being said, youre allowed a little artistic freedom in telling your tale. Dont lie about what happen. But remember that the greatest stories ever told were alive with color and vigor. For instance, rather than saying that a few people were clapping at the end of a speech you gave, you could say everyone was cheering you on. This is called being dramatic, and its a way to create social proof with your stories.
Element #10- Pausing For Effect

Pausing is great for all aspects of conversation, but this is especially true for storytelling. Think about all those suspense movies The action rises, and the director leaves you hanging off the edge of your seat, anxious to know whats going to happen next. You can do the same thing. Pausing is all about providing value.
When telling your story, wait until you get to the main action, and then stop to see how your audience is reacting. Youll know youve got their attention if all eyes are focused on you. If theyre smiling, holding their breath, and handing on your every word then you know youve got em. If, on the other hand, no one is looking at you, theyre fiddling with their straw wrappers, or talking to other people, you might want to stop while youre ahead. Usually its best to cut the story and start talking about something else. (By the way, bombing with a story is one of the ways that you get feedback which will improve your overall success with women.)
Element #11- Leave Room for Questions

A good story should contain lots of potential threads for a conversation. While your pretense is to tell a story, what youre actually doing is hinting about your own positive and attractive qualities. So as youre crafting your stories, try to think of different qualities you can drop in to make you seem interesting. The woman youre talking with will latch on to those details and ask you about them. Then you can answer without seeming arrogant. Like I said, this is an excellent way to demonstrate high status.
Element #12- Engage the Listener

At some point during the story, youll want to engage your audience. Women want to be a part of your story and provide feedback. If you spend the entire time talking to her instead of with her, your story will have very little impact.
Ask her direct questions as you tell your story. Then, depending on her answers, you can lead into another story which demonstrates even more high-status personality traits. Another technique is to confirm the obvious. With this technique, you ask a specific question to which you know the answer is probably true. For instance, you can say, You like animals, right? Generally, most people (especially women) will state that they do indeed like animals. And if she doesnt, you can use her response to tease her. By confirming the obvious, youre getting her input on a story, and making her think that shes contributing.
Element #13- The Punch Line

Frame your story like a joke. Most of the story involves simply telling the event to a woman, but the punch line can really make or break your presentation. Establish a concrete ending that will wrap up the point of the story and indicate why its humorous. Generally, you can mention what you learned from the story or how it impacted your life. What you dont want to do is complete the story and leave the girl clueless about your point.
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Telling Your Stories

A story is more about how you tell it, rather than what you say. Even if you know youre not a very good story teller, with the right amount of energy and enthusiasm, you can captivate any audience. In general, there are two different ways of telling a story you can grab your audiences attention, or you can bore them to tears. Obviously you want to shoot for the first method. A bored audience usually means you wont impress the ladies---and you probably wont be going home with them. So if you want to grab your audiences attention, you must learn the subtle art of telling story. To really make this work you should practice the four elements of telling a good story. (Something I call the 4 Cs of storytelling)
Your Conviction
Just as its important to know youre a high-value person its equally crucial that believe completely in the stories you tell. You must have conviction. Not only will your tales be more believable to your audience this way, but youll grab (and hold) their attention longer as well. As with everything in life, there are going to be doubters. Others may not believe what youre saying, but you should stand behind your words 100%. (Thats why I recommend using real stories that happened to you.)
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If someone tests you on the facts, challenge them right back. Dont back down from such objections; instead, deal with them head on. A good storyteller is one who talks with a high level of belief in what hes saying. This belief is very addictive to the listener.
Your Commitment
This one kind of goes hand-in-hand with conviction, as you must use your entire body to tell a good story. In short, you should show a high level of commitment to the words you are saying. Hand gestures and facial expressions are crucial to getting a good point across. You can even engage your audience by using someone to illustrate an example of what youre saying. Simply grab someone and say something pretend youre this cop who is really angry with me. This will hook the audience even further into the story Furthermore, your voice should be heard loud and clear. A soft, weak voice will only bore your audience. Next, youll want to add different voices to your characters. This is especially true if you have recurring characters which people are familiar with. Put emotions behind the voice, and use different pitches and tones for the various characters. This is also a good tip for creating humor within your story telling.
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Finally, you want to keep eye contact with the people youre talking to, and use them to convey the emotions behind whats happening. Your aim is not only to fully commit yourself, but also your audience.
Your Confidence
Having confidence when youre telling a story stems from one specific truthyou deserve to be heard, and you know it. You wouldnt have opened your mouth if the story wasnt worth telling. With that said, only tell a story if theres a very real point to it, and you know where it is heading. A point can be a simple as making others laugh, or as complicated as illustrating a certain philosophical stance you have about life. Just as its important to speak up in order to display everyday confidence, you must tell your stories in a commanding voice as well. Convince yourself that your audience is truly listening, and what you say is important. Avoid the wishy-washy behavior thats seen in other men.
Your Cadence
Some guys make the huge mistake of rushing through the story, afraid that theyll get cut off. A good story has a cadence that draws the listener in. To be good at this, you should use the power of the pause. At key moments during the story, stop and wait a second, then continue. This silence will add a ton of value to the story because youre subtly showing that you know youre saying something interesting and
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youre not afraid to stop talking for a moment. You know nobody is going to interrupt you because the story has hooked their interest. Also, silence reinforces the tension and anticipation which gives the story a great punch!
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Practicing Your Stories

Now that you know how to create a story and the 4 Cs for telling it, lets review a few techniques for practicing it. As I begin this section, I want to make a confession Ive had a major issue with stuttering my whole life. While my problem isnt as bad as others, it definitely comes out during times of stress---Specifically when Im talking to women. Why should you care? Well, when I first started working on my success with women, I had major difficulty talking to women without stuttering. I would stumble over my words and try to ignore the looks of pity that women gave me as I talked. To overcome this problem, I learned to practice telling my stories to the point where I practically memorized every little detail. And once I became comfortable with what I was saying, my stuttering problem virtually disappeared. To help you out, Ive included a few different techniques for practicing your stories. These will increase your overall conversation skills and will help you become more comfortable with the idea of being the center of attention for long periods of time.
Method #1 Practice on Family and Friends

As I previously mentioned, some of the best stories come from the least obvious sources, so each day review what happened, and then turn these events into interesting stories.
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Then when youre talking to those closest to you (i.e.: family and friends) tell them about what recently happened to you. Friends and family make excellent pretend audiences. Jump into how your day went, and share any interesting, unusual, or funny thing that happened to you. Doing this on a regular basis will train your brain to look for interesting things in even the most of mundane experiences.
Method #2 Practice in Front of a Mirror

Another exercise for storytelling is to practice in front of a mirror. Now, you may feel silly doing this, but it works wonders! In fact, most actors/actresses use this method as a way to learn how to evoke emotions behind what they say. When you tell your stories in front of a mirror, use all the elements that Ive discussed, such as putting emotion behind what youre telling, and adding in specific details. Youll find that as you tell the story, youll develop a flow and cadence that makes the story more interesting to the listener. And if you can make small details sound exciting, then youll be on your way to becoming a master storyteller.
Method #3 Practice Giving Speeches

Public speaking is one of the biggest fears that people haveMyself included. With that being said, you can quickly develop your storytelling skills by regularly giving speeches in front of an audience.
Now this idea may make you a little nervous. However, I promise that if you challenge this fear, youll learn that its not as bad as you think. A great place you can practice your speech giving skills is through your local Toastmasters organization. I urge you to find one of these clubs in your area and start attending their meetings. By regularly attending a Toastmasters club, youll be *forced* to give speeches and practice your public speaking. Most importantly, youll get instant feedback about how you talk--and this will help you improve the stories you tell women! Finally I want to remind you that storytelling is one of the best ways to flirt and create sexual attraction with a woman. So its really important to memorize and hone all the stories youre telling. When you do, youll be armed with a powerful tool thatll help captivate her attention. Now that you understand different conversation techniques, lets move on to a specific tactic thatll skyrocket the sexual tension during your discussions
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7
The Push & Pull of Sexual Tension
What is Push & Pull?

In this section, I want to discuss an important concept thats vital to both flirting and attraction. This technique is incredibly powerful. Do it right and youll build some serious chemistry with any woman you meet... The concept is called sexual tension. Its no secret that as people we usually want what we cant have. If someone denies something from us, we tend to want it more. And this is certainly true with women. When youre talking to women, you want to create that flirting vibe by introducing the element of sexual tension into your conversations. So what is sexual tension? Well its that feeling of unresolved emotion a woman experiences in a conversation with a man. This feeling is similar to the emotions a woman experiences when she reads her favorite romance novel---or watches a soap opera. At the beginning theres conflict. Then the characters work to fix that problem and go through a series of obstacles. At the end, theres a climax where the hero overcomes the conflict. And if the writer is good enough, hell introduce another bit of drama at the end to set up a cliff hanger. When it comes to women, you want to use your conversation skills to create that same feeling of tension. But youre going to do in a manner where her unresolved emotion is directed towards YOU!
How do you do this? Its simple. You use whats often called Push and Pull. This is where you create sexual tension by showing your interest in a girl, while not showering her with affection either. Think of it as the give-and-take of any encounter with a woman. The idea is to do things that pull women towards you, after which you push them away. Its an advanced form of teasing that (if done correctly) will draw practically any woman to you. Think about it this way If you know someone who very rarely compliments others, you would be extremely flattered if he actually did say something nice to you. His words have a certain value tacked onto them, due simply to its scarcity. In fact, it wouldnt be farfetched to say that youd go to greater lengths to receive similar compliments from this person. Its the same idea when creating tension with a woman! For instance, lets consider the nice guy. He approaches a woman hes attracted to, showers her with compliments, agrees with everything coming out of her mouth, and more. And because his affection is unlimited, she very rarely appreciates it. On the other hand, with push and pull, you do things which send mixed signals to women. Theyre never sure where they stand with you, and in effect, you become a challenge. Youre an unpredictable mystery that she feels compelled to solve. Now if youre a little confused, heres how to use push and pull during a conversation:
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Pulling
The pull element of this technique is just that: Youre pulling (or drawing in) a woman towards you through your flirtatious nature. Or saying something thats *almost* complimentary. The key is to say something that doesnt come across as needy or asskissing. For instance, you should never comment on a womans physical attributes when first meeting her. Remember this is what other guys do, and you are one-of-a-kind. Instead, focus on her personality, intellect, etc. Another thing to remember is to not lay on the flattery too thick. When pulling a girl in, hint at something that you *might* like, but youre still not sure. Decide one part of her personality you like, and comment solely on that. No matter what, keep in mind that your pull is never complete acceptance. Youre simply giving a compliment that shows that youre sort of interested in her.
Pushing
First, allow me to stress one thing: Pushing is never an insult (nor does it involve shoving her physically to the ground.) Its merely a hint that you might not be all that interested in her after all. If done correctly, youll grab her attention; if done incorrectly, itll destroy the fun, flirty vibe youve created up to this point. And shell tell all her friends to do the same thing.
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For example, lets say youre talking to a woman. Youve pulled her in through the usual methods of approaching: strong body language, mild touching, and a few engaging stories. Then you compliment her on something thats related to her personality or something shes done during the conversation. Your next tactic should be to push her away, which you could accomplish by saying something that causes a little bit of conflict in the nice thing youve just told her. Confused by what I just told you? Well heres a quick example to illustrate this concept: Say you encounter a girl who seems like a cool person, you would start by saying something like: So...you seem like a really nice girl. The kind thats probably all innocent and stuff. HER RESPONSE Yeah, thats probably why we could NEVER hang out. Because I would definitely hurt your feelings with my sarcasm. I dont think you could keep up with me... Etc, etc, etc. This example shows how you start with a compliment. But as soon as you say it, youre almost giving her a challenge. Youre creating tension because youre literally forcing her to live up to your expectations. A comment like this creates a sense of tension within a woman where she subconsciously feels like she has to rise to meet your challenge.
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I feel that sexual tension is a very important element to creating a huge amount of sexual attraction. Do this correctly and its like you have her under your hypnotic spell. To get an idea of how to apply this technique, here are four different ways to use Push/Pull when youre talking to women. I do have to warn you that this is some really powerful stuff. Use it at your own risk
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#1- The Frame Stealer

I call this technique The Frame Stealer because you create sexual tension by mimicking the same things that women use to control men. Girls do this all the time, but now its time for you to reverse roles... As you know a lot guys experience a lot of tension when they interact with women. Females flirt with guys they arent even interested in. They go on dates, accept gifts, and act in other ways that appear as genuine interest. Then, as soon as the guy wants something more, they push him away. This leaves a lot of guys in the position of pursuer, chasing after a girl who never wanted them in the first place. Sometimes, a girl will make a guy feel guilty for desiring her. Almost like a awwwthats so cute that you like me. But I think we should stay friends Attitude. The good news is this technique works both ways! In fact, you can use this technique to make her always think about you. The Frame Stealer involves making a woman feel a certain emotion, only to reveal to her that she was wrong. This may sound cruel, but trust me, it works. One method to try is to set up a date, or get her to imply that its a date. When youre out with her, joke about how you dont want to ruin your friendship. This creates that feeling of dissonance.
Another method is to find those moments when the sexual tension is really high. Pull her towards you (the about to kiss move), and then accuse her of trying to kiss you. Tell her that shes like a little sister, and is acting weird. Thisll keep her in suspense. Heres a quick story to illustrate this concept... I once knew a girl who my friends called The Succubus. (Theres a long story behind this nickname) Although she was beautiful, this girl had a nasty reputation for destroying the guys she met. Dont get me wrong she was hot, and like so many other guys, I couldnt help but be attracted to her. However after hearing the horror stories about how she treated guys, I knew I had to go in with a different tactic. Instead of pouring on the flattery that she was so used to, I stole her frame and used the same tactics she often used withother men. On our first meet up I made sure she had lots of fun. I teased her. I used sexual innuendos like crazy. And I established a ton of physical contact. But I refused to make any move. When she hinted about me liking her, I laughed it off and told her kissing her would be *gross*--- Like kissing my sister. At the end of the date, I knew she was unsure about how I felt about her. Then... I flaked out for a couple of days and forgot to return any of her calls and texts. Finally when I reconnected with her, I talked about at all the fun things I did during the week and talked about what I had coming up. But I never invited her to anything.
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This went on for another week. I would call her up. Flirt like crazy. Tease her about being a loser and told her she wasnt cool enough to hang out. Finally one day I invited her to come with me to go clothes shopping. Needless to say we didnt make it to the mall that day. When I went to pick her up, she invited me in while she got ready. The funny thing was her getting ready started and ended in her bedroom. Looking back... I realized that the only reason I had a chance with this girl was because I did the exact opposite of what other guys do. In every interaction with The Succubus, I set up the frame that I was The Prize that she had to chase. In order to win my approval, she had to be something special. So heres how to put this technique into practice...The next time you find yourself dealing with a difficult girl who has lots of men seeking her attention, think of all the things that women do to get you to chase them. Then reverse roles and use these tactics to get that girl to chase you!
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#2- The Rapport Breaker

As you probably know, when a person is attracted to someone of the opposite sex, theres that feeling where you want to know more. So most people do this by trying to establish whats known as rapport. For instance, a person seeks rapport by asking standard background questions. Like where theyre from. What they like to do for fun. Or where they went to school. Usually this is done to establish some sense of commonality on which they can build a relationship. Normally I recommend waiting till you know a woman is attracted before trying to establish rapport. However, with The Rapport Breaker, you can show an intimate side of your personality while building massive amounts of sexual tension. Heres what I mean....Whenever youre talking to a girl, reveal a hidden quality about yourself. Something thats a really positive side of your personality that most people dont get a chance to see. You can do this by telling a story about something youve done in the past. Or by giving an opinion to show her that you have a unique way of looking at the world. This is a type of rapport because youre connecting with a woman on an emotional level. With a simple story or example, shes seeing you as an emotionally deep person. In essence, youre pulling her in by showing that youre a guy who has an interesting outlook on the world.
But heres the trick to make this concept really make her want you... As soon as you show the deep, meaningful side of your personality you push her away by changing topics. This generally frustrates a woman, because she sees an interesting side of your personality, and wants to know more. With this technique youre purposefully not showing the deep part of your personality. Even if she presses on about the subject, youll brush aside her attempts at findingout more about this particular topic. In a sense, youre breaking rapport. This is a great push/pull technique thats guaranteed to build sexual tension. Youre showing a vulnerable side. But youre not revealing too much about yourself at first. Youre being a guy with little bit of mystery. This technique can also be called a A Peak Behind Your Veil, because shes catching a glimpse of a deep quality, but then youre shifting tactics and teasing with ONLY a sneak peak of what you could be like. The following is an example of how I use this technique... When I meet a girl for the first time, I always like to tell stories that establish my high status. Usually one of the ones I like to tell is about the time I went to Costa Rica. In this story, Ill talk about the time I went to a crowed bar by myself and watched the Costa Rican national soccer (football) team play an important game versus Guatemala. Ill mention how I couldnt speak a word of Spanish and they couldnt speak a word of English.
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Yet I had a great time hanging out with these guys, getting drunk and cheering on the Costa Rican team. The punch line (or meaning) of this story is how men dont really need to speak the same language to hang out. We can all find that universal bond of alcohol and sports which brings us together! Now I tell this story pretty well. And when I tell it, I know it subtly demonstrates a number of positive qualities. Things that reveal how Im: An adventure seeker A world traveler An amateur philosopher Etc, etc Anyway, Ill tell this story knowing that it showcases a number of great personality traits. And by the end, I know Ive *hooked* her into my reality. But as soon as I finish a story like this, Ill pull the rug right out from under her. When I finish telling this story, shell start to ask questions about traveling or things about Costa Rica. Instead of talking more about this topic, Ill immediately shift focus. Usually Ill do this with some type of teasing comment. Something like You know what? I just noticed you have a kind of soccer player quality about you... Then Ill start some form of bantering where I refuse to tell her why I thought this. Usually Ill keep teasing her. And eventually Ill move on to something else. I like The Rapport Breaker technique because youre showing an attractive part of your personality without being obvious that youre trying to impress her.
With this method, youre building interest (pulling), but dismissing her attempts to seek rapport (pushing). Its powerful because you show a quick glimpse of your good qualities, then you immediately move away from this topic. I recommend that you use this technique whenever youre telling a story that showcases one of your high status traits. You can build attraction, while subtly pushing her attempts at getting to know more about you. While it might seem counterintuitive, this technique works great for creating attraction. Youre showing an awesome side of your personality while keeping that hint of mystery alive.
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#3- The Accuse Her

Now before we begin, I want you pay close attention to this technique because its one of my personal favorites. If you understand the principles behind why this works, youll have an unfair advantage over other guys. In case you didnt already know, women love to test men. More often than not, guys dont even realize theyre being tested until being notified that they failed...miserably. But what if I told you that you can reverse this role women love to play, and use it for your own benefit? What youre going to do is set up a fun conversation dialogue by assuming the role of you being pursued by the girl. As you know, most guys go for the sex way too soon. Theyre too aggressive and often trip up a womans barrier. Women are familiar with the male sex drive, and they know that nine times out of ten, thats all were interested in. With that said, cutting to the chase and trying to get her into bed too soon usually will backfire on you. To elaborate, when a woman does start talking sexually to a man, he tends to take it as a green light to get her in the sack. But it doesnt mean she wants to have sex if she gets kinky with her dialogue. You can use this to your advantage in another form of role reversal. At some point, shell start to feel attraction for you and say something that slips. As a confident and secure man, how do you handle a suggestive comment of this nature?
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In short, go against your instincts by not responding with enthusiasm. In fact, you counteract her suggestion with a very teasing comment. To create sexual tension with this technique, youre going to show her something that shes never seen before. Youll be that guy who doesnt go for the kill right away. In fact, youll reverse roles by accusing her of being a pervert. Like shes stalking you. And she only wants one thing from you. Heres an example...A lot of times Ill be in a conversation when a woman will say something suggestive. Instead of responding to it, Ill call out her comment. Typically Ill say something like: Wow, youre coming on strong! Have to tell you that Im not a piece of meat. I WONT sleep with you on the first night. You sound like one of those creepy girls that probably stalks guys. Am I going to wake up tonight and see you parked outside my house? Hiding in some white van without windows? Now when I deliver a comment like this, I make absolutely sure she knows Im joking around. This comment is always coupled with a knowing smile on my face, where I acted like Im mocked insulted by her attempts to seduce me. The Accuse Her routine can be done in many different ways. For instance, you can joke that she: Likes to stalk guys Is perverted and is looking for sex Trolls the Internet looking for dates Has no friends and probably buy drinks for attention The main idea behind this technique is to reverse roles and accuse her of doing all the things that creepy, low status guys would do.
Its a way to show that you get it and know what she probably goes through. Plus youll also set up a fun conversation where youre teasing the hell out of her while putting her in a position where she has something to prove. A great way to use this technique is to look for those moments where she does (or says) something thats sexual in nature. Then use her comment to build up a role-playing scenario.
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#4- The Role Player

As youve learned, women love drama. Bringing girl through a range of positive emotions, like a roller-coaster, is one of the fastest ways to build attraction. And when shes experiencing that sensation of unresolved sexual tension, its easy to make her think youre the only person who can provide this feeling. With The Role Player technique, you create that up-and-down emotional range by putting her in an imaginary scenario. Almost like youre assigning her a role that she has to play. This is an incredibly powerful technique. Thats because you set up the scenario---and she has to follow your rules in order to play. Done correctly, youre establishing the precedence that she has to follow your lead in order to have fun. Furthermore, role playing is a fun way to have a no consequence conversation thats completely imaginary. Instead of doing something, youre playing the what if game where you talk about whats like to do something together. Now before we move on, I want to mention that this is not one of those things that you would do in the bedroom. So dont start talking to a girl, asking her how youre a bad boy who needs to be punished! In other words, keep any role playing sexual tension PG-rated! For instance, here are a few different roles you can assign: You are being stalked. She has to protect you. You are her boyfriend. She is your girlfriend. You are a rock star. She is a groupie.
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You are a world traveler. She has to plan your perfect trip. You are rich. How are you going to spend your money? With The Role Player technique, I like to take something that she says (or a physical attribute) and challenge it. Then Ill talk about how Im a certain type of person. In order to hang out with me, she has to pass my tests. Ill then start asking a bunch of questions to see if meets my criteria. Now the key here is to constantly push and pull her with the responses she gives. Sometimes youll be happy with what she says. Other times, you act mock indignant and told her that shes not good enough. To give you an idea of how this works, lets review one of my favorite role-playing scenarios that I like use with women. Its one I like to use with shorter girls: [Lead in] ME: ...blah blah blah. Oh crap. You see that girl over there? [Point in the general direction of a group of people] I think shes been stalking me for the last week. I see her EVERYwhere! HER: Blah blah blah [Usually shell ask which one, etc.] ME: Im getting kind of scared now. What if shes like one of those Silence of the Lambs serial killer types. If she does anything youll have to be my bodyguard! HER: Blah blah blah
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ME: See I dont know if youre up for the job. Youre kind of Hobbit sized. [I LOVE saying this to girls] Are you trained in any form of martial arts? HER: Blah blah blah [No matter what she says, tell her shes not good enough to be your bodyguard] ME: No thats not good enough. See this face? Its my meal ticket. I cant afford to have it damaged. If she gets near me, youll have to be scary. You gotta war face? Let me see your war face! HER: [Makes a silly face] ME: Bullshit thats not a war face! You dont scare me... Etc, etc, etc I can usually keep up this routine for a good 10 minutes. The entire time, shes working hard to meet my expectations. Plus, Im also positioning her body in front of me, like shes actually my bodyguard. Most of the time, youll have a girl laughing and touching you all over in order to protect you. Again, this is one of those techniques that completely depends on the vibe youre sharing. As long as shes responding, then have fun with it. But if shes not responding, then immediately shift to another topic of conversation. Remember sexual tension is about creating attraction. Its not about doing anything that makes her feel weird or creepy. So keep doing whats working and cut off whats not!
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Sending Mixed Signals Is A GOOD Thing

At this point you might be wondering why its important send mixed signals when youre using the push/pull technique. As Ive discussed, push/pull is about presenting yourself as a challenge to show that youre not easily won over simply because shes a pretty face. This goes against what usually happens. As you know, many women *claim* they want a nice guy. However the truth is they dont want somebody who is too nice---A guy who is a a pushover. Sure you can do nice things for her. But at the same time, you never want to be completeley predictable. Remember this... Predictable = Boring And as you, boring is bad. By sending mixed signals, youre giving an emotional roller-coaster by never letting her know whats going to happen next. Displaying a few mixed signals means youre a little inconsistent, always keeping a woman on her toes. So what type of mixed signals should you send? Well here are few ideas to help you get started:
Showing up when you told her you cant do something
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Kissing or hugging her, then focusing your attention Elsewhere

Acting aloof at certain points during the date (i.e. be silent and dont pay too much attention.) Doing things that are outside your character Saying one thing, and saying the exact opposite later on Surprising her with a gift for no reason
All of these actions show a level of unpredictability. On one hand, youre doing nice things for her. And then youre acting a little distant. In essence, shes never completely sure that youre into her. Basically youre a challenge that she has to work hard to get. Just remember to not overboard. You want her to think of you as unpredictable...not insane. Sending a few mixed signals should be one part of your personality. In addition to being confident, fun, and a leader. Finally as youve probably noticed, sending mixed signals is pretty much what women are already doing to guys. So instead of allowing this to happen, youre simply reversing the situation. Now that weve covered the basics of push/pull, lets move on to a couple of advanced techniques
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Advanced Push/Pull Tactics

Once youve become comfortable with the basic push/pull techniques, there are a number of advanced tactics you can use. These are very effective for creating sexual tension, but they require a more in-depth understanding of the core principle of push/pull. So I would recommend you practice using the basic techniques before trying these three:
#1- Open Loops

The open loop technique involves displaying interest in a woman, then slightly taking that interest away. This technique is probably my favorite, in that it really hooks the girl on an emotional level. Shes had a taste of what its like to have your affection, and she wants more of it! An example of how to use this technique would be to start a story or ask a question, and dont resolve it. Instead, move onto something else. When humans are shown an unfinished idea, we seek that closure, and it creates tension that must be resolved. Have you ever had somebody start to ask you a question, only to stop and say, Never mind? By that point, youre dying to know the remainder of what they wanted to ask you. Youre practically begging them to finish the question they started. Its the same idea with women. Open loops will make women unconsciously and intently listen to the things you have to say. By knowing something that hasnt been revealed you increase your value, and create sexual tension. Other methods of applying the Open Loops technique are:
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Delaying her stories: When she has something to tell you, refuse to listen. Make it on your terms. This will increase HER desire to tell you the new thing thats happened. Silent treatment: This isnt meant to be cruel, but rather its a powerful pause in a conversation. When she tells you something or asks a question, dont immediately respond. This will create a dissonance where the person isnt sure about your feelings, and as a result, shell become more emotionally invested in the conversation. Not giving a straight answer: Give a declarative statement, but make it vague. Shell wonder what you meant by it. Almost every girl will ask what you meant, and try to find out what you mean. For instance, say something like Youre goofy. When she asks for what you meant, smile and dont respond. Make her work for the meaning behind your comments. Try to introduce at least 2 to 3 open loops during a conversation. Start to tell a story then change the subject or say that you noticed something about her, but start talking about an unrelated topic. By regularly keeping a woman on her toes, shell be fully engaged in the conversation and carefully listen to what you have to say.
#2- Make Statements, Dont Ask Questions

Again, limit the questions you ask Instead make statements. Dont just babble; make an impression. Describe your deep feelings for the things you care about. Keep control of the conversation by focusing on feelings, not conclusions.
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At first, you might not get much feedback, but over time youll get her to respond to your lead. If she asks a question, redirect it back to focus on an emotion. Again, youre going to control 80% of the conversation.
Lead women through the broad range of emotions. Make them bring something to the table of the conversation. Limit the rapport seeking questions (i.e. about her job, residence, age, etc.) This is typically what other guys would ask and you want to be a little different from them. Instead, use questions to increase the feeling of familiarity that you have with this girl. Think of the statements you would ask a close friend that youve known for awhile. When you do ask her questions, make sure theyre open ended. Close ended questions (yes vs. no) dont allow for any further explanation or conversation. The questions and statements you make should be seed further conversations. The trick is to ask stuff that connects to her emotion. Typically if I get stuck with what to say, I like to use my ace in the hole. Whenever she describes something or makes a statement, I ask why she feels this way. This allows her to open up and clarify (ie: emotionally connect) to the things shes passionate about.
#3- Giving Compliments

When a girl compliments you, all you really have to say is thank you. The conversation should be about you. Accept the compliment, and then use it to seed another conversation (i.e. if she tells you she likes your shirt, go into a funny story about what you had to go through to get it.) Now if youve been paying attention, then you probably noticed that I talk very little about giving compliments to women. So you might have the question: Should you use flattery on women during an initial conversation? Well the quick answer is yes. But allow me to explain what I mean Most guys make the mistake of complimenting a woman on a physical characteristic like her looks or body. Obviously this doesnt really do anything to create attraction. When you give a compliment on her physical characteristics, it shows that you only care for her outward appearance instead of what shes about. Furthermore, women get complimented on their looks by guys all the time. So your comments will simply make you seem like other men. The correct way to use flattery is to compliment a woman on something which she can control. For instance, you can compliment a girl on her personality or the things she says during a conversation. This works because youre connecting her positive personality traits with the qualities that youve already described as being important. In other words, shes getting approval to the specific things because shes adhering to your standards.
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Typically the best time to use flattery is during the attraction phase of your approach. In other words, you want to already be in the group and have built some rapport. The reasoning is simple. By giving a compliment at this point, itll seem more genuine then randomly using flattery on a woman as a way to initiate a conversation.
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Why (and How) Women Test Guys

Im probably not the first to tell you this... Women love to test guys. And they really like to manipulate our actions. Why do they do this? Well in this section, were going to explore the reason women play mind games and how to prevent this from happening in your romantic life. An old buddy of mine used to date this girl that my friends and I couldnt stand. In fact, we hardly ever saw him once he hooked up with her, because any time we wanted him to hang out, she would forbid him to come. Shed whine, give him ultimatums, and act like a complete brat until he finally gave in. In a span of a few months, he went from being a cool, fun guy to being this pathetically whipped man who had to ask permission to do anything in his life. And for all the crap she put him through, she ended up dumping him for someone else. Of course, I wasnt surprised when this happened, because this proves one thing Ive known for awhile... ...Women dont like guys who they can treat like a doormat. My buddy never realized that her childish actions were all tests. And he always failed these test!
So sure, his girlfriend kicked and screamed whenever he wanted to hang with the guys, but I bet she wouldnt have dumped him so soon had he stood his ground. Whats the moral of this story? The answer is simple. Understand that women will always test you. No matter how great you think a girl is, shell test you at some point in the relationship. Expect this behavior---and learn the right way for dealing with them. Dont act as though her tests are a life or death situation, because theyre not. When a woman tells you that she doesnt like something its important to figure out one of the following two options: 1) Its a real, legitimate concern of hers (i.e. I think youre drinking too much and Im worried about you)
Or 2) Its a way to manipulate your life (i.e. Why cant you cancel your plans to hang out with me?)
Obviously when a woman has a REAL concern about something you do, its important to address this issue and listen to what she has to say. On the other hand, if you feel shes trying to test you, then its important to never cave-in to her childish antics. Ive found that when a woman tests me about something, I either do it more often, or I tell her that shes not allowed to whine about it. Thats it...case closed!
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Doing something like this lets her know that youre a challenge, and believe it or not, shell work harder to gain your approval. This might be hard for some of you nice guys to grasp, but consider this: Most desirable women suffer from a halo effect that makes people treat them better simply due to their looks. In fact, theyre so used to getting their way, that whenever somebody challenges this habit, they tend to throw tantrums. (Seriously Ive seen many an adult woman throw a temper tantrum that would put a five-year old to shame.) Deep down, every woman wants a man who is in control of the situation. Of course, shes not going to come out and say that, but theres nothing sexier than a man in charge. Its been said that you only get one chance to make a good first impression. With that in mind, never forget that the first behavior you demonstrate will form her opinion of you. If you give in, shell basically view you as someone with no backbone; if you stand up to the challenge, shell see you for the man you truly are. So the question is---Why do men fail tests? For starters, they dont recognize the tests. Secondly, theyre afraid to call the women on the tests. They view a fight as the end of the world, but in reality, the worst that could happen would be her leaving you. And if you think about it, why would you want to be with such a drama queen after all? I dont care how good looking this girl is, its not worth it if she only brings misery into your life.
I cannot stress this enough: Dont doing anything puts you in an inferior position! Women dont respect men who are easily controlled. Instead, combat her tests with humor to take the sting off of your defiance. And whatever you do, dont react emotionally. From the moment you meet a girl, shes going to challenge you. Most of the time, you wont be able to walk up to a woman, say a few lines, and expect her to go crazy with desire over you. If you want to maintain that sexual attraction, then expect that shes going to test you. Testing is done by women as a way to weed out the winners from the losers. Early on, a lot of women developed this skill because they didnt have time to figure out if a guy was worth meeting. When women test you, there are two results: Youll either pass or youll fail. Its really that simple. If you fail, then youre chances of attracting her will probably drop to zero. Now you shouldnt be mad that women will test you. Its the natural order of things. Consider it like any other challenge. The important thing to remember is to not take these tests too seriously. If you show a lot of emotions or anger, then youve already lost. Furthermore, take the mindset that tests are good. When a woman tests a guy, it indicates that she has some interest in you. In a subconscious way, her tests are done to see if youre like the other low-status guys who are boring and predictable. And if shes really interested in you, then youll probably receive a lot of challenges.
So know when shes testing you and have a plan of action for what youll do when they happen. (The good news is in a later section, Ill show you a few techniques for handling these tests.)
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Ways Women Test You

Now that you understand that women will test you, its important to know when its happening. Specifically in this section were going to discuss a few tactics for identifying those moments when a woman is throwing a test in your direction. Here are a few different techniques shell use:
Qualification
A woman will qualify you when she asks about things that determine what type of man you are (i.e. the car you drive; your job; how much money you make; and even who youve dated in the past.) This type of test is her way of figuring out your social status and how you measure up as a provider. Its normal to have a girl ask you one of these questions. But if you find that she keeps on this topic, then its a sign that youre being qualified.
Test Questions
We all cringe when a girl asks one of these questions: Do I look fat?, Is she prettier than me?, or Do you like me? Simply put, when a woman asks a question like this, its her way of seeing how much control she has in the relationship. Can she get you to jump through her hoops and answer all her questions? Or are able to handle these questions without losing your status?
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Passive Aggressiveness
This type of test is done to see how you handle being disrespected. This can include cancelling plans; showing up late or flirting with guys in front of you. When giving a test like this, a woman is trying to figure out if she can get an emotional reaction when she challenges you. No matter what, you should never, ever show that shes rattling you. When shes being passive-aggressive, its important to address her actions, but do it in a firm, but emotionless manner. Never allow mistreatment from a woman. If you do, youll be consistently disrespected. When correcting the problem, do it in a nonhurtful or angry tone. Remember the essence of confidence is being able to address a problem without being emotionally attached to the outcome.
Compliance
This is where a woman asks you to do something for her (i.e. buy her a drink, take care of her errands, pick her up in your car or pay her bills.) Bottom line. This is a test to see if youll obey like a good little doggie. Its important to do nice things for a woman, but never want to do anything that jeopardizes your high status. A guy with status knows when hes being manipulated and knows how to respond appropriately.
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Changing You
If you have a hobby that you enjoy, she gets jealous over the time you spend doing it. Or when you make plans with friends, she demands that you cancel them to spend time with her. This is an insidious way to see if she can own you. Many girls have a need to change the guys they date. A test like this is her way of seeing how much control she has over your life and actions. Trust me, falling for one of these tests will undermine any high status youve built in the relationship. Now in addition to the categories I listed above, youll often be faced with a number of standard statements that are designed to trip you up. Youll get some of the following when you first meet a girl. Others youll get when youve been dating a girl for awhile:

Are you dating other girls? Do you date a lot of other girls? Why are you still single? Are you trying to sleep with me?
Are we going too fast? I never give out numbers. Can I have yours? Do you want a girlfriend? Im really busy; how about I call you? I like you as friend, I dont want to spoil what we have. Youre a great guy, but...
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Now that you understand the different ways you can be tested, lets go over a couple sneaky ways to handle these tests in a confident manner where youll create lots of attraction
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How to Handle Her Tests

The truth is women will ask a lot of questions you might not want to answer. And theyll throw a lot of tests in your direction that you better be prepared to handle. The best way to handle this is to use the teasing, flirting personality that women love. For instance one of the common tests youll get from a woman youve been dating is when she asks if youre seeing any other women. If you dont want to tell her, you could reply by saying Nope, just other men. And if she keeps harping on this line of questioning, you can continue the joke by saying something like: Seriously, theres Brad, and Andrew, and David. Oh yeah, I almost forgot about Gustavo. No one could EVER forget about Gustavo. Childish? Yes. But when a woman throws a test at you, its always good to have a snappy comeback---Even if its something thats a little immature. My point is that when a woman is testing you, its important to have a strategy for what youll do when they happen. Most of the time, they arent really looking for answers to their questions. In a subconscious way, theyre looking for a reason to disqualify you. With that said, by answering a question, youre potentially giving her a reason to not date you.
The truth is you dont have to really answer a lot of questions from women. Most of the time, you can deflect or evade the question. And while its important to know how to handle them, confidence is also very important: In my experience, there are four strategies you can use for handling her tests: #1- Being sarcastic or using humor As weve discussed, often the best defense for a test is having a quick teasing comment that doesnt answer her question. My advice is to make a list of one-liners that can deflect a question while keeping up the sexual tension. #2- Answer with NO apology This shows that youre not ashamed of your past or the way youre living your life now. If she gets to a point where she really keeps testing, have a frank discussion as to why shes asking these questions. But never answer a question in a way thats apologetic to her. #3- Ignore the test Its easy. Just pretend you didnt hear the question and change the subject. Oddly enough, I learned this technique from a girl I dated who was a black-belt at Conversational Ju-Jitsu. No matter what question I asked, she pretended to never hear it. Sure you might seem a little spacey, but this works really well when you dont want to answer something.
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#4- Ask your own questions. One of my favorite responses to a test is to ask my own qualifying questions. So using the example above, when a woman asks if youre dating other women, you can immediately come back with Are YOU dating other women? With this response, youre throwing a question back at her, while being funny at the same time! Bottom line is testing is an area where many nice guys make mistakes. Women want men who excite them. Theyre not looking for a therapist (they have friends for that.) If youre overly eager to pass her tests (like most nice guys), youre actually setting yourself up for failure. So if you want to maintain that give and take of sexual attraction, then its important to know how to handle her tests. And whenever youre faced with one, use one of the four strategies that I just described.
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5 Test to Give Women

Its important to be able to recognize when youre being tested. With that being said, its equally important to do a little testing yourself. Ive found that if you throw your own tests at a girl, she wont have time to test youshell be too busy responding to the things youre throwing at her. The following are a list of more complex tests you can (and should) perform on a woman before you show any indication of interest:
#1- The Gold-Digger Test

Some women look at a mans ability to provide. This comes from a natural instinct to worry about his ability to take care of her and a potential family. As weve discussed, money and social status are big indicators of a mans status. So its perfectly normal that shell want to see if you can assume the role of a provider. Now with that being said, there are a lot of times that youll encounter a Gold Digger type of girl. This is someone who will only be interested if you can support her. Heres a quick test if you think youre dealing with a gold digger You can test her desire for money by bringing her on two or three inexpensive dates. Coffee shops or grabbing a few drinks are usually great for this.
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Dont be too cheap, but never bring her some place lavish (save that for when things between you get hot and heavy.) If shes disappointed, or wants trinkets, then she might be a gold digger. When you two are on your date, never talk about how much money you make. If she asks about your job, focus on the enjoyment you receive from the work you do, not the money. The gold digger test isnt a fun one, but its something you need to do if you want to avoid being used. If you dont, just imagine what it would be like to be around someone who youll always is interested in you for your money.
#2- The Spontaneity Test

Another test is to suggest something fun, but dont tell her what it is. She should just trust your judgment. If she is not flexible or whines, youll know shes not spontaneous. For instance, you could make plans with her but not tell her what youre going to do. Then refuse to tell her and see how she reacts. You can tell a lot about a woman simply by observing how she handles surprises or a bit of spontaneity.
#3- The Sanity Test

A few years song the group Buckcherry came out with a song called Crazy Bitch. Its a great song. But every time I hear it, I get a little twitchy because it reminds me of a girl who my friends lovingly called Psycho Kristen.
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Trust me on this one. Dating a crazy girl will make your life completely miserable. Sure at first, she might be a fun person, but after a few episodes youll come to regret ever crossing paths with a woman who is unbalanced. Thats why I highly recommend you always find out where the girl lies on the crazy spectrum. The old wheres theres smoke, theres fire adage is true. If shes always talking about the different drama-filled events in her life then you have a pretty good indicator that shes usually the source of these problems. Now I havent found a fool-proof way to test for craziness. This is one of those gut-check scenarios. The rule of thumb is to see how she reacts to normal day-to-day situations. If you see her react in a wild, unpredictable manner then youre probably dealing with an unhinged girl. The good news is you can pick up on the crazy vibe within the first few dates. If youre with a girl like this---get the hell away from her. Dont say I didnt warn you
#4- The Integrity Test

Integrity and honesty is an important part of relationship. Eventually you have to be able to trust her with a lot of things. A great way to test for this quality is to give her money to pick something up at the store for you (make it something small, like a candy bar.)
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If she gives you your change, you know she has integrity; if she doesnt, ask her where your change is. You would be surprised at the number of women who would forget that they owe you money and not offer to give it back unless prompted first.
#5- The Give or Taker Test

In a perfect world, there would be an equal amount of giving and taking between couples. Sadly, this isnt always the case. With this test, you want to see if shes a giver, not a taker. She should be into pleasing you. A good way to test her desire to do so is to give her a shoulder rub. Shortly after, complain about your stiff neck. If she obliges with a massage, shes a giver; if she doesnt, youve got some thinking to do. Another thing I do is test to see if she offers to pay for stuff on dates. Being a gentleman, I always pay for the first date. But if she doesnt at least offer to pay for a follow-up date, then I assume shes a taker, not a giver.
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Always Be Testing Her

To be honest, Im a proactive kind of guy. Instead of responding to the things women say or their tests, I prefer to immediately start a conversation where Im testing them When meeting a woman for the first time, so many guys make the mistake of working hard to impress her. Theyre in the state-of-mind where they hope to say right thing in order to impress her. Unfortunately this desperate act usually hurts their chances rather than helping it. To avoid being like one of these guys I urge you to reverse roles. See yourself as the test giver, not the test taker. In short, I want you follow this mantra: A.B.T.
Always Be Testing
Ask her questions about herself, with a slightly obvious motive of determining whether or not you want her in your life. This not only portrays you as a challenge, but it also shows that youre selective about the people you spend time with. Be purposefully stringent. Ask questions based on the criteria you
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have for your *ideal girl*. And dont be afraid to openly discuss the way you want to be treated. Doing this shows that have standards and youre not afraid to qualify a woman based on a set list of character traits. With qualification, youre testing her out to see if she matches you expectations. While this seems unimportant, qualification is something that needs to be done when you first meet a woman. On some level, she must feel that you like her for who she is, rather than the fact that shes an attractive female. As youve learned, attraction comes before anything else. But it doesnt mean shell trust or even like you as a person. In order for her to feel a deeper connection to you, she has to know that shes earned the right to be around you. Thats why its important that to qualify her. When you follow the A.B.T. philosophy, youre reversing the roles. One minute youre attracting her. And the next, youre making her prove her worth. Now for some guys, its hard to understand why qualification should be done. Women are used to guys who hit on them based only on their looks, but when youre testing her, youre letting her know that shes something more than a pretty face. In addition, it goes back to the theory that you like something the more you work for it. By playfully testing her, youre keeping it as a fun
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game that she gets to enjoy. When she *invests* in the interaction, shell value any time spent with you. With qualification, youre playing a game where shes trying to win you over at first. Its through her actions and conversation that makes you attracted - NOT how she looks. So when you qualify a woman what should you look for? Well this really varies Your qualifying statements should encompass all the qualities that you want from women. This can include intelligence, fun, adventure, or any traits that you want. (This is why I HIGHLY recommend you create a list of the qualities you want from women.) Remember that testing isnt about pulling some routine to make a woman attracted. It should be about you honestly deciding if you want to be around this woman. When you qualify, youre asking direct questions which show youre interested in getting to know her. And not because youre just attracted to her. Finally, I want to again emphasize the importance of being selective. Women are attracted to guys who know what they want and actively go after it. This is the nature of being a high status guy. Now that weve covered the reason for qualifying, lets go over a few techniques on how to do it
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How to Qualify Women

As weve discussed, a woman tests a guy to see what kind of man he is. She does this to see if youre the type wholl easily comply or if youre someone who will stand your ground and display the qualities of a high status male: Now Ive already giving you a few points for handling her tests. But as they say---A good defense is a great offense! In other words, the best way to remove her desire to test is to immediately qualify her when you see any interest on her part. How does this work? Well when I first meet a woman, I like do a little teasing and flirting. Then at the moment I see her responding back, Ill assume that she has interest. Then Ill start with a series of qualifying questions/statements. My reasoning is simple Its human nature to want something thats not easy to obtain. By immediately establishing myself as a prize, I make her work hard to prove her worth. She wont have time to test because shes too busy jumping through the hoops Ive established. The sneaky thing is while shes answering your questions and following your lead, youre subtly establishing the mindset that youre a catch. Pretty cool, right?
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So like I said, the moment you get any interest from a girl, you want to start qualifying her based on the exact traits that you want from the women you date. You can do this by saying something like, You seem spontaneous [or any trait thats important], are you? Then follow up with a qualifying question that makes her prove this quality. Like Well whats the craziest thing you did in the last couple of months? As shes talking about her life, you can continue to banter about how her answers arent good enough. You can do this by explaining that you like to only hang out with people who live fun lives. (Again, its important to do all this in a fun, teasing, flirting manner.) When you qualify a woman, youre getting her to comply under the principle of commitment and consistency. This is a basic psychological technique where you get a woman to state that she has a certain personality trait (honesty, adventurousness, spontaneity, or intelligence). Then after she agrees to that statement, youll make her comply with this statement by challenging it. Its effective because after making a declarative statement, if a girl doesnt follow through, shes proven to be a liar. But by accepting the challenge, a woman shows that she possesses the positive quality she just bragged about having. To get started with this technique, you should write down all the qualities that you want from women. Even more important, its important to jot down the things youll never accept. Practice looking for (and vocalizing) the traits you want, and make it a habit of introducing these qualities whenever youre talking to a woman.
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So when youre talking to a girl, you can immediately ask qualifying questions whenever you see shes interested. Usually I start with the statement like I mentioned before: You seem like youre really _______, is that true? [Insert any quality thats important to you] Then when a girl agrees to this question, Ill follow up with a question or two that directly challenges this statement. As an example, here are some questions Ive used based on my list of important character traits:
So you say youre athletic. Whats the most challenging thing youve done?
You consider yourself energetic. Hmmm...Im not sure you could keep up with me. What do you like to do for fun? And you better not say anything like shopping or watching T.V. I really like adventurous people. Whats the craziest thing youve done? Okay Ms. Smarty Pants, what are the last three books youve read? Thats cool that youre passionate about life. Whats the one thing that really gets you going in the morning? Like what do absolutely love to do with your free time?
Wow its really awesome that you love to travel. Whats the one place you want to visit again? Even better, what are the three countries that youre dying to see? Obviously these are a few examples of what I normally say. The important concept is to get her to prove herself, while not making it seem a job interview. Your conversations should be about creating sexual tension and attraction. So dont interrogate her. Instead keep your questions lighthearted and fun.
Asking a question, then challenging her response is one of the best ways to show youre a quality man, unlike anyone shes met before. In other words, youre not acting like a predictable guy who simply agrees with everything that comes out of her mouth. Finally you want to qualify as part of a regular conversation. So one moment, youre qualifying her, and the next, youre having a normal conversation and talking about your interests. Then youre talking about her life a little. Then you move on to the next qualifying statement. When you follow this pattern, youll get a woman to prove her worth, while simultaneously imbedding the concept that youre a high status guy who has lots of options in his life!
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Using Commitment and Consistency

Okay, I know Im beating you over the head with this conceptbut gain, I want to mention that women are addicted to emotions. They love excitement. They love passion. And they love adventure. What does this mean to you? The answer is going to shock you... Since women are emotional by nature, you can take this emotion and use it to trigger a specific action that you desire. In the previous section we discussed the Principle of Commitment and Consistency. Basically this means that when people commit (verbally or in writing) to an idea or goal, they are more likely to follow through with it. This can be applied to your dating life. Lets say you want an adventurous girl. Whenever youre talking to a girl, youll make a statement that screens for this quality. Something like, You seem like youre really adventurous, is that true? Then when a girl agrees to this question, you follow up with a question or two that directly challenges this statement. For instance, you could say Thats cool, I really like adventurous people. Whats the craziest thing youve done? Now if youve paid close attention to my emails, then youll recognize this as something you do when youre qualifying a girl. But what we havent discussed before is why this really works. How it can be one of your secret techniques for creating a lot of sexual tension. In a social environment, we all want others to think we possess a number of good qualities. Whenever another person gets us to agree
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that we possess a certain trait, well often take steps to prove our commitment to this ideal. Heres an example of what I mean: Imagine you open your door one day and come face-to-face with a guy soliciting for a local politician. Most of the time, hell make a foot in the door statement that any person would agree with. For instance, he could ask you a simple question like Do you care about the safety of children? About 99.999% of population would answer yes to this question. Nobody wants others to think they dont care about children. By verbally affirming your desire to protect children, youve now been caught in the solicitors snare. He knows that youve committed to this statement. And in your mind, you now think of yourself as a guy who wants to protect kids. In a way, youll be forced to act in a manner that is consistent with this ideal. Once you agree to the initial statement, the solicitor takes you through a series of statements that are all consistent with your desire to protect the safety of children. Eventually, hell try to get you to agree to vote for this politician because Hes the only candidate who really cares for the safety of our youth. See how this works? Now this is a pretty extreme example of Commitment and Consistency. But its important to realize how easy you can be manipulated when you agree to a simple statement.
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Heres where it gets interesting. As weve discussed, a woman connects positive emotions to attraction. So if shes around you feeling excited and having fun, in all likelihood, shes starting to feel some attraction! By getting her to respond to specific Commitment and Consistency statements, you can literally program her to experience these emotions during a conversation! Using the example from above, lets say you get her to agree that shes a fun, adventurous girl. During the rest of the conversation, shell respond to any statement (or dare) which challenges this statement. In other words, since shes agreed to being adventurous, shell be forced to act that way! You can quickly escalate her actions by upping the ante. If she balks at something, you can counter it by saying Wow..I thought you were adventurous, I guess youre not. Hopefully you realize the power of using this principle on women. Whats really great is by getting her to commit to being a fun girl, shell start to act in a more excited manner. Then shell transfer these feelings of fun on to the closest person YOU! As I mentioned at the start of this section, a womans actions are strongly connected to her emotions. ALL women want permission to experience positive emotions. Whether its adventure, excitement, fun, or passion; theyre waiting for a reason to demonstrate these qualities. Through Commitment and Consistency, you can practically get her to act in certain way thatll create tons of attraction!
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8
The Fun, Flirty Guy
Being the Fun, Flirty Guy

If you want to attract a girl, you have to find some way of intriguing her. In other words, you cannot simply walk up to a girl, introduce yourself, and expect her to fall head-over-heels for you. When it comes to flirting, you get only as much as you put into the interaction. With that said, you must find ways to demonstrate how interesting of a guy you really are. You might be thinking, There isnt really anything all that interesting about me. If these words are running through you head, quiet themimmediately! Remember that the mind is a powerful tool in both life and love, and if you dont learn how to control it, itll control you. Everyone has qualities that set them apart from the rest. These can be as simple as a fun personality, or as complex as a skill youve studied and successfully used. Whatever it is, it should be something that will evoke strong emotions within her when she thinks about you. In this section, were going to talk about different routines and techniques you can use to amplify the flirting and attraction that youve built. This is the essence of being a fun, flirty guy. Lets begin
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Showing a Skill
When it comes to skills, you dont have to be able to tear up the dance floor in order to impress her. In fact, its often the more intimate and personal types of skills that make the best impact. Here are few of my favorites skills that are great for creating instant attraction:
Magic Tricks
Magic tricks are always good to know, not just for flirting, but also for working up a crowd. Just go to your local magic store and browse for any books on the subject. Dont worry you dont have to be David Copperfield to impress anyone. You only have to learn a few small tricks to rouse someone else. Coin tricks work great, as do card tricks. Get a few of these under your belt, and youll draw her in. Finally I recommend that its better to know a few tricks really well over sorta-knowing dozens of tricks. Remember, you can do them with an aura of authority. And this doesnt happen when you cant pull of a trick with confidence.
Handwriting Analysis
Hand-writing analysis is another good skill to try, as it can be done practically anywhere. The one downfall to this skill is that you really cant get by simply making things up.
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In short, youll have to learn a bit about this technique in order to sound credible. Buy a book, or browse the Internet for more information. When performing a hand-writing analysis on a girl, make her write something that you have dictated. A semi-flirtatious line such as [Your name] is a fox and I always have fun around him! would work just fine, as it has a nice alphabetical mixture to it. From there, take a good look at her penmanship, and analyze away!
Riddles, Rhymes, and Poems

Memorize a few brainteasers to get into her head a little. Poetry also works well in this regard. Run an Internet search on love poems, and try to memorize a few lines (dont forget the authors name!) A side note on poems: Its never a good idea to feed poetry to a girl you just met, and even if youve known her for some time, use it sparingly to avoid overkill. Instead, wait until shes warmed up to you. Then (during a moment of sexual tension) recite the lines, and tell her that you felt as though it suited the moment.
Playing Music
Playing a musical instrument will definitely help your love life. Next to athletes, musicians tend to magnetically attract women.
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And the good news is that you dont have to be on mainstream radio for her to notice your talent. If you used to play guitar, pick it up again. Piano, drums, bassany instrument will do! Being musically inclined shows a deeper aspect to your personality. It demonstrates to a girl that you have feelings, and women love that. Now that weve covered the basics of skills, lets cover my personal favorite
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Cold Read For Flirting

Cold reading is one of the best skills you can do to build attraction. For those who arent familiar with cold readings, theyre simply predictions (such as palm reading) made about a person whom youve just met. Women love hearing about their destiny. Horoscopes, palm readings, tarot cards. All of these can help you really connect to a girl youve just met. Compared to men (who generally refer to the cold hard facts of life), women are drawn to the unknown and mysterious. Instead of living in the present, they have a habit of daydreaming about the future. If you can successfully perform a cold reading on a girl, not only will you be showing her a unique skill set of yours, but youll also establish a certain bond with her. Youll give the impression of being able to read into her soul. (I know this may sound strange to you, but just trust me on this one.) Before you try any cold-reading technique, realize one very important thing: Women want to feel as though theyre unique. With that said, any predictions you make about her must emphasize her individuality. If youre thinking to yourself, But Im not psychic, have no fear.
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While each woman is unique unto herself, she does share several similarities with her female cohorts. A desire for beauty, love, family, and success are only some of her potential aspirations. Use them to point out something about her, and if done correctly, you just might be accused of truly being psychic! If this sounds deceptive, then consider this: All of those psychics you see on television do the same thing, only they have the nerve to charge people for their time. They trick the public by being vague in their predictions. They spout off information that could easily apply to anyone, and people fall for it. When making predictions about a girl, consider her body language, clothing, statements, and expressions, and proceed from there. You dont have to truly be psychic, nor do you have to know her entire life story to give her a good cold reading. Just build off of the information you already have. Here is a good example of how to accomplish this: Tell them that there is one side of their personality, but they have another side thats kind of hidden from the world. Say something like, You seem standoffish at first, but I bet when youre around your friends, youre a really caring, giving person. Notice how generalized this statement is? Discuss how they act one way, but other times, they act completely opposite. In other words, the person they show to the world isnt always how they really are on the inside.
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Accomplishing this builds rapport by showing her that you understand who she truly is. When she confirms your prediction, solidify things by saying, Im the same way. Always tie your response to something theyve responded to. The key here is to really observe people, and get a feel for what theyre really like. Have a collection of canned cold-reading lines you can pull out at any given moment. You can start now by getting out a piece of paper, and writing down all the things that are true about most women. When actually using these lines, only go after the women who demonstrate these qualities. Some generalized cold reading predictions could include: People treat you differently because youre good looking. In fact, youve probably had a hard time making friends, because you feel like youre being judged because of your exterior looks not whats inside. You want to be liked for your energy and personality. You have a strong sense of independence. When somebody tells you that you cant something, itll make you want to do it more. You tend to be more critical of yourself then others. You like variety and change in your life. A little bit of adventure makes you excited. You cannot be described in one word. Sometimes youre introverted, sometimes youre outgoing, and other times you just go with the flow. You often project a confident attitude, but sometimes you have serious doubts about the decisions youre making in life.
You use first dates as a proving ground. If a guy doesnt meet your criteria when you first meet him, then theres probably little chance of a second date happening. If you cannot make an emotional connection, then it wont be worth your time to see him again. You can be really sentimental at times. In fact, its hard for you to let go of even the most mundane of items. Youre a hopeless romantic at heart. While you might enjoy dating, you secretly want a guy to sweep you off your feet. You want challenges in life. When youre dating a guy, you want him to be at your level and not give into your bullshit. Even if youve dated a lot of men, you probably have a desire to be with one man. Notice that a lot of these statements could be applied to basically anyone. But if used at the right moment, youll get a positive deer in the headlights look from a girl as she realizes that youre one of the first people to really understand her.
Personality Tests
Another form of a cold reading that I prefer to use is a personality test. With a personality test, youre focusing the attention on the person who is taking the test and asking them a series of questions. Only after this person has answered do you use the personality test to tell them more about yourself. Personality tests are really effective, because people love to talk about and know more about themselves. By giving a woman a personality test, youre focusing the conversation on her emotions.
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Furthermore, if you can interject humor and slightly-sarcastic responses into the conversation, youll be able to establish higher status. Do get started with personality tests, look up The Cube Personality Test on a Google and youll find one of the better ones to use on woman. Personality tests can be an incredible way to spice up a conversation during the attraction phase, but usually theyre one-trick ponies. In fact, cold reading isnt the only fun way to flirt with women. In the next section, were going to cover eleven different flirty games you can use to create and build attraction
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Flirty Games
To reiterate myself----you have to be fun when you meet women. More often than not, the normal getting-to-know-you part of a conversation leads to awkward discussion that doesnt do much for creating attraction. Instead of this, focus on things thatll bring out the positive, emotional side of her brain. When you play flirty games, you focus on creating a fun vibe, while increasing sexual tension. Here are some of my favorites:
#1- F**k, Marry, or Kill

One great game to play is called F**k, Marry, or Kill If youve ever listened to the Howard Stern Show, then youre probably familiar with this concept. The game is pretty simple: Pick out three people, and your girl that she has to choose which of the three she would rather marry, kill, and have sex with. You can either select three famous people for her, or three guys who are hanging out in the bar. I like to find three obviously dorky or weird looking guys. While this might seem a bit cruel, you get her to make her decision about these three guys. Once shes decided, you can tease her about going to talk to her husband. You can event take it one step further and pretend like youre about to walk over and introduce yourself on her behalf.
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Of course, you have to be ready to take the joke when she reverses roles and uses the game on you. While this might seem like an immature thing to do, women respond well to the opportunity to discuss their opinions, and of course, sex.
#2- Assign Her a Role

This is a fun role-playing exercise thats good for creating a deeper interaction. As youve learned, women connect to excitement, but its hard for them to feel this way about somebody they just met. To bridge this gap, I like to create a fun little game where Im talking about needing help in one area. For instance, if I am talking to a girl, Ill try to find out a few things about her, and use them to sound like she has the qualifications that Im looking for. For instance, you can say youre looking for a: Bodyguard Interior Decorator Girlfriend Personal Assistant Personal Chef Masseuse The key here is to instantly shift into the role-playing scenario where she has to fulfill this role. For example, if shes now your girlfriend, you can say something like, So where are we going on our first date? OR Im sorry about that time I cheated on you.
To give you an idea of what Im talking about, consider this: I recently had a conversation with a girl where she mentioned she did some work in Africa being a Zoologist Psychologist, or something weird sounding. Of course, I had no clue why an animal would need a psychologist, but she went on to describe how she used basic psychological conditioning exercises to teach Cheetahs to do stuff. Now maybe I was just in a weird mood, but I went on a long roleplaying story with her about how shes now going to be my personal groundskeeper for my mansion. I described how shes going to train an army of ferocious Attack Cheetahs to protect my property. Then were going to ride a wave of battle cheetahs, and invade my neighbors next door. Slowly well take over the whole area with our cats, and then create a special nature preserve. Throughout this conversation, I kept on qualifying her, trying to find out what other skills she could provide me with thatll help realize my dream of world domination. Ill be the first to admit that this conversation was pretty weird. Perhaps I drank too much caffeine that night. The point is that I didnt hesitate to latch on to something she said and make it fun for her to play along.
#3- Psychic Game

This is fun game to play when you have a wingman that knows the trick and can help you out. All thats required is three completely random items and a funny wingman.
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The premise is simple: Tell a woman that you have psychic powers, and you can prove it. Place three items in a row and tell her that when you turn your back, she has to lightly touch any one of the objects. Then your wingman will tell you to turn around. The set up is simple; you use the O.A.R. command words: O- Okay, A- Alright, and R- Ready. (Or create your own code words) When your wingman tells you turn around, he will use the secret command word to let you know which item she selected. For instance, if she picked an item on the left, he would say, Okay, you can turn around. If she selected the item on the right, he would say, Were ready, you can turn around. If you can pull this off, shell be floored!
#4- Questions Game

In this game, you can have fun and build a little chemistry. Tell the girl that youre about to ask her five questions, and that her goal is to answer each one of them incorrectly. For example, you ask her the first three questions, and on the fourth question, pretend like youre confused. Say something like, Crap how many have I asked so far? If she says three, shes lost the question game. [Feel free to tease and make fun of her] You laugh and point out that she just answered correctly to a question. If she catches on to the game, shell say, Ha hanice try. You tried to get me. Your reply would be, Wow! Have you played this game before?
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Most girls will say they havent, and if she does, then youve caught her telling the truth on your fifth question too. [Feel free to tease and make fun of her]
#5- Never Have I Ever

Some games work in different environments, and some work depending on the context and age of the crowd. If youve been in college for a period of time, or have been to younger parties, a great game to play is Never Have I Ever. The concept is simple: A group is sitting around with drinks, and each person takes a turn asking a question. The phrase of the question starts with Never have I ever then he or she adds something to the end. Whoever has done that thing would take a sip of their drink. Typically, questions starts out with the innocuous Never have I ever been kissed, but they quickly evolve down to deeper interactions where you really learn about somebody. This game is definitely a group game thats more for a private party or subdued location. It probably wouldnt work in public venues with other people around. Also its definitely more for younger people. What you want to remember is that (in this situation) you need to be the guy thats in control of the interaction and leads the playing of the game. Be the first to ask the racy questions, and be the one who shows that fun part of your personality.
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#6- Simon Says

This is a sexy twist on a familiar favorite. Make sure you both have drinks, and have her follow your every move. Play around for awhile. Eventually, raise your glass to drink a toast, and shell do the same. Make the toast again, and shell follow; only this time, you spit the liquid back into your glass. Odds are that she probably already swallowed her sip. To turn up the heat, mention that you didnt tell her to swallow. (Again, use your judgment on this one.)
#7- Memory Game

Together, study a couple, or a group of people. Then turn around and quiz each other about the details of the group. This is fun to do if you have a good memory and can show that you notice small details. This will also help you in the long run when you pick up on a womans personality and notice details about her.
#8- Staring Contest

Declare a staring contest. Tell her, Ive never lost beforewell actually I did lose once when I was like 7 years old. Then you can play silly little games (or make faces at her) to trip her up. If you want to be a little immature (like me) you could take a finger and put in near her face saying, Im not touching you.
#9- Thumb Wrestling

Heres a fun game to play when a woman asks you what you like to do for fun, or what your job is... Instead of going into the nitty-gritty details of your work, be evasive by not giving her a straight answer. Instead, tell her that youre the local Thumb Wrestler Champion, and youve never lost a battle. Then challenge her to a competition. Ive found that the best way to play this is to cheat outrageously. Take your other fingers and press them down, and then walk around bragging about how you won another match. The key is to be obviously a little silly. Keep playing and cheating until shes laughing her ass off.
#10- The Lying Game

Tell her how well you can spot a liar, and then ask her to make three statements, one of which is a lie. One fact of human nature is that when we lie, we dont look straight ahead. People generally look to the left to remember a truth, and they look to the right (the creative side of the brain) to make something up. If shes looking to the right, you know shes telling you a lie!
#11- The Truth Game
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This is probably my personal favorite! (In fact, many guys in the Seduction Community have used this one with great success.) Its simple to play. When youre talking to a woman, find a quiet location and tell her that you want to play The Truth Game. Tell her that the rules are easy. You take turns asking each other a question. But, you cant ask something thats already been asked before. I typically like to turn things pretty sexual with my questions. And you would be surprised at how often women will follow your lead and reveal their sexual side. To begin the game, I typically start with How many boyfriends have you had? Again, I want to mention that this game (and the others) are meant to be fun. If you dont get a positive response, then immediately move on to something else. Playing flirty games is about making her have fun. But sometimes youll encounter someone who doesnt respond. If this happens, its important to immediately move on to something that shell like. Well, weve come to the end of our discussion about how to flirt and create sexual attraction. Now the question is how do I know when its working? In the next chapter we answer this question and discuss how youll know when a woman is feeling sexual attraction
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The Next Step
Knowing When Shes Interest

Okayyouve flirted like crazy and worked on creating sexual attraction. So, how do you know when shes interested? In truth, there could be several signs a woman will give you to show her interest. The biggest, perhaps, is her friendliness level towards you. Think about it: A beautiful girl can have any the attention of anyone she desires, platonically or romantically. With that said, if shes showering you with attention, questions, teasing, and the like, shes obviously got you on her mind! So many guys let this one fly under the radar, completely oblivious to her attempts at keeping the conversation going. Dont make the same mistake. If a girl you like is working on progressing, give her a hand. If youre not progressing, youre regressing. Trust me - if theyre not comfortable, then youll be the first to know. You never have to ask a woman when shes attracted. All you have to do is pay attention to her body language signals, and youll have all the information that you could possibly need. The truth is women give off flirting signals all the time which indicate their attraction to a guy. Known as flirt signals, these are signs that women show a guy when shes actively interested in him.
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Now the conventional wisdom states that you should wait until two or three flirt signals to increase an interaction. Honestly, I believe its context specific. For instance, if you get three weak responses that could be interpreted as flirt signals, then this might not mean much. On the other hand, if you literally feel a girl hovering right up against you, then you know youre receiving a strong indicator that she wants you. Flirt signals can really be broken down into two major categories: Attraction Signals: When a woman likes you during a conversation, and is sending you signs that you should initiate a deeper connection. These basically mean she wants to continue the conversation and physically escalate things. Sexual Signals: This one is easy. When youre in a conversation, and shes sending you clear indicators that she wants you to physically escalate things Now, theres a reason why I left out the discussion of women flirting with guys up until this point I think guys spend too much time occupying their minds of only looking for specific signs from women that theyre attracted. The problem is women dont really show these signs most of the time. In order to truly improve your success with women, you have to become the guy who can create attraction at the drop of the hat without a girl sending you any signs. So I didnt want to include any discussion of approach signals till now. Another point I want to make thats tied into the attraction phase is this:
When you get both Attraction and Sexual signals, youll be at a point when you can make two decisions: You can either go to ramp up the attraction, or try to make your move. Personally, I like to use at least a brief bit of qualification with every interaction I have. The logic is that the more qualification and the more a woman has earned my attention, the better value the interaction it is. This helps ease the process once you start to really physically escalate things. Trust me youll appreciate taking a little time to qualify a girl later on when she offers no resistance to your sexual advances. For now, lets delve a bit deeper into these two flirting signals:
Attraction Signals
The workhorse of flirt signals can be found during the conversation. The key to any successful interaction is to be able to spot the moment when its on! This is when you realize that the stories, routines, and flirty lines youve used have created attraction with a woman. The reason attraction signals are important to spot is that they provide a visual example of her general interest in getting to know you better. Remember before when I discussed The Bitch Shield? This is the generally unpleasant vibe that women will send when a guy initially approaches. When you receive attraction signals, you know that youre broken through her Bitch Shield, and shes now interested in what you have to say.
I think attraction signals are important for one basic thingtheyre great for feedback about when you should escalate an interaction. Honestly, I like to look for at least two or three attraction signals, because at this point, I know its on, and all I have to do escalate the interaction and turn things more physical. So simply put--- attraction signals are there to remind you that you need to move past the initial introduction phase and focus on isolating, qualifying, and physically escalating. Here are some of the more common signals: Signal #1 Asks About You When you approach a woman, youre a random stranger that wants something. But you know youve reached the point of value when she wants to know more about you. Typically, shell do the same comfort building techniques that untrained guys do. This means asking questions about your age, background, name, job and hobbies. When a woman starts asking questions about your life youre getting a clear indicator that she likes something and wants to know more. Signal #2 Asks About Your Girlfriend This one might as well be a big red arrow on her chest that says I want you. When a girl starts talking about your girlfriend, shes hoping that youll tell her youre single and available. This is one of those signals which means youre in. Ill often use only this one as feedback that a woman is into me.
Signal #3 She teases or challenges you Guys get unnerved when women challenge or tease them. Me? I think its a great thing! When a girl is being playful and bantering with me, then I know she has some attraction. Often Ill give a nickname to a girl and see how she responds. If she tries coming back with a name of her own, then I know shes attracted. Signal #4 She laughs at your stories or jokes Im a pretty funny guy, but when a woman is laughing at all my stupid lines, then I know shes trying hard to make a connection of her own. Im funnybut not that funny. If you see her really getting into your stories then youre getting a major sign of interest. Signal #5 Shell maintain or initiate physical contact. Physical contact is a way to tell if a woman has a physical attraction to you. An easy indicator check is to lead her through the crowd, and hold her hand. If you squeeze her hands and she squeezes back, youre in. When you take the time to look for flirting cues, youll discover shes sending signals which mean she wants to get to know you better and make things more intimate!
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Be careful, because sometimes women will show you indicators even if they arent interested in you. You have to learn how to tell when a woman is demonstrating real signs of interest. Signal #6 She compliments you This is another major sign of interest. When youre telling stories and demonstrating high status, look to see how she reacts. Often youll get compliments about your accomplishments. If shes giving you that deer in headlights look and keeps complimenting you then this is a sign that shes highly attracted to the things youre saying. Signal #7 She hits or acts mad at what you say Attraction is built on emotion good AND bad. Even if a woman seems annoyed or playfully hits because of something youve said, this means that youve connected to one of her emotions. I personally like this one because youve created banter that can help you take things to a physical or sexual level. Signal #8 She calls you a player When you become good with women and can build attraction in two seconds, youll start to have women question how come youre really good at this. Often, theyll make the assumption that youre a player or some sort of pickup artist. While on the surface this might seem like a test, in actuality its a hidden signal that she has some interest in you.
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Signal #9 She asks you to teach (or show) her something During the attraction phase, youre job is to show that youre a cool, interesting person with lots of fun interests. A byproduct of this is that women will often ask you to teach (or show) what you know. This generally means she has an interest in who you are and would like to find out a little more about you. Signal #10 Shell try to get a reaction This is a signal that comes up often, but is hard to pick up. Just like men, women often do or say things to get some sort of reaction out of guys. Typically theyll try to elicit responses like jealousy, desire, or attraction. When a woman mentions stories about her life that would often get emotions out of guy that means she wants you to take notice of her. Signal #11 Shell draw closer to you Shell do this to show a desire to create more intimacy during your conversation. She may even lower her voice so you have to move closer. When you see this, youre receiving an incredible sign that she wants you to be closer to her. (In more ways than one.) Signal #12 She agrees with everything you say Purposefully disagree with her. If you suddenly realize that shes changing her opinion to match yours then you know that she is trying to appeal to you.
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Realigning yourself with a dominant personality is a major sign that youre seeking their approval. And if shes seeking your approval then shes probably interested. Signal #13 She holds lengthy eye contact You can easily tell when a woman is disinterested when shes looking around a room and doesnt really care about what youre telling her. But the opposite is true when shes holding lengthy contact. If shes not breaking from your gaze and seems hanging on your every word, then you know shes captivated by what youre saying. Signal #14 She fills in the pause Conversations often have breaks and lulls. This is usually the moment when a disinterested person will make an excuse to move away. But if you find her saying things like so, well or anyway this means shes making an attempt to continue the conversation that shes been enjoying. Signal #15 She tries to build rapport This is similar to signal #1. When you find a woman actively trying to deepen your connection and fill in the blanks of your life, shes subconsciously wondering what it would be like to part of it. Signal #16 She stays with you after her friends move away In a bar or club environment, groups can be fluid. Most of the time her core group will want to move around to another part of the venue.
When this happens, look for how she reacts. If you find shes trying to stay near you, then this is an indicator that she wants to be around you. Signal #17 She waits for you People use excuses like going to a bar, the bathroom, or to meet friends as an excuse to move away from an uninteresting person. If you decided to move away and shes still there, then this is a strong indicator that she wants to continue where you left off. Signal #18- She approaches you again In a bar or club environment, conversations can be interchangeable. One minute youre talking to one group. Two seconds later, youre engaged in a conversation with another bunch of people. Often this means youll build attraction with one girl, but for some reason, something happened where she had to move away. If you find that a girl youve previously met tries to engage you in a conversation, then shes trying to reestablish that connection youve made. For instance, say you met a girl and she comes back to tell you shes leaving. This is the moment where you go for her number.
Sexual Signals
There are flirt signals which mean she wants to increase the attraction, and there are some which show she wants you to take it to a physical level.
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Sexual signals are the type of body-language cues which indicate a heightened level of arousal. When you receive this type of flirting signal, youre receiving the signs that she wants to you to progress things to things like physical contact and/or kissing. A lot of sexual signals are intuitive. Often you wont even receive a signal that she wants you to physically escalate. Instead youll simply feel a vibe that she wants you to take action. In this area, were going to cover the more predominant type of cues that you can receive from women. Simple advice: If you see any of thesemake your move! Signal #1 She seems jealous Jealousy is a powerful emotion. When you first start talking to a woman, she might not even be aware that shes attracted to you. But if you start talking to another girl, the green monster of jealousy will rear its ugly head. If you notice a woman displaying jealous emotions, its time to make your move. Signal #2- She moves close to you As I said before, we gravitate towards the things we like. When a woman feels an emotional bond, shell gravitate closer to you. Spatial differences are a direct link between the people we know and dont know. While this is largely based on our culture, its human nature to be closer to people that we like and trust.
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When you see a girl moving close to you during a conversation, this means youre casting her under your spell. Signal #3- Shell touch herself When a woman is talking to you, shell signal interest by stroking her neck or touching her hair or even her thigh! I personally love to see these signs of flirting! Thats because when a woman touches these sensitive areas, shes probably thinking about what you could do to them. Signal #4 Shell touch you At first, youll will probably be doing all the touching. But after awhile, a woman will start touching you to show that she has heightened levels of sexual attraction. When you see her progressively increase in her physical interaction, then you know that she ready to increase the sexual chemistry. Signal #5 Her legs will touch yours When youre sitting down, youll have a good chance to observe her body language. This is the golden opportunity to see the proximity to your area. As youre sitting down, take some time to see if her legs are touching yours. If shes making frequent contact and shes in your personal space, then you know shes open to increase the intimacy. Signal #6 Open Body Language Women will show open body language when in close proximity to guys theyre sexually attracted to. Again, these will include actions like playing with her hair, facing you, and exposing her wrists/neck/inner thigh.
The more she seems willing to be near you, the more shes apt to be kissed and have the interaction physically escalate. Signal #7 Lingering Pause The lingering pause is when a woman will stop in the conversation and stare at your face. This is one of the three signals that she wants to be kissed. Signal #8 Her pupils will dilate When youre talking to a woman, youll experience some moments when her eyes will reveal high levels of attraction. The first of them is pupil dilation. All human beings reflexively dilate their pupils when were talking to a person we find attractive. This is the second of the kissing signals. Signal #9 Shell scan your face including your eyes and lips This flirting cue demonstrates a desire that she wants to be kissed! When a woman moves her eyes back and forth between your eyes and mouth, shes thinking about you kissing her. When you see this flirting sign, act right away... Start kissing her!
More Signals
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The above lists arent the only signals youll receive. In fact, there are a number of flirt signals which could be considered both attraction and flirt signals. These include the following: Her eyes soften: This is another subconscious move on her part. In effect, shes giving you her sex eyes. You catch her staring: If you think you notice her checking you out every so often, odds are that she is! Her arms are uncrossed: Just like crossed arms mean a closed-off personality, maintaining an open upper-body shows she is open to what youre saying. She moistens her lips: This is an oh-so obvious sexual signal that shes dying to kiss you! She strokes her body: If she does this, shes subconsciously trying to tell you shes in need of caressingby you. She positions herself towards you: When you like something or someone, you give it your full attention. If her body is facing yours, this is a very good sign. She mimics your posture: This is different from facing towards you. If you bend forward, she bends forward; if you sit up straight, so does she. She wants to by in synch with you. Her eyes open up: If shes not giving you sex eyes, shes trying to show that shes extremely enthusiastic about you and what you say by widening her glance. She touches you a lot: This is not a subconscious flirting signal! Trust me if a woman touches you for various reasons, shes very aware of it. In other words, shes trying to tell you she likes you. She fiddles with objects: If you think she has an obsession with salt-and-pepper shakers, youre mistaken. Shes really just a bit nervous around you, and doesnt know what to do with herself.
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She uncrosses her legs: If a woman sits with her legs slightly opened, shes revealing an unsatisfied sexual need. Crossing and uncrossing her legs is a good sign of this. She maintains her glances: Similar to occasional glances, if she maintains eye contact with you, she obviously sees something she likes. On the other hand, if shes staring, she might be a little nuts, so watch out. She holds her hands open: Similar to standing with her arms open, this is a sign that she wants you to approach her. She ignores her drink: If youre going to drink, then drink! On the other hand, if shes just holding onto the glass, shes otherwise preoccupiedwith you! She leans into you: If she leans towards you while youre talking, shes demonstrating that you have her undivided attention, and she wants to get closer to you. She fiddles with her hair or clothes: This is a subconscious habit that basically means she wants to look good around you.
Final Thoughts on Signals

No signal is perfect. At no point should you wait around for the proper invitation to take action. Every interaction should be lead by you, and youre the one thats in control. So dont feel like you have to wait for X amount of signals before making your move. Its all about the vibe that youre feeling and an intuitive understanding that shes into you. To be honest, I dont really look for signals a lot of times. I either know its on or if its on.
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This means use the se signals as a guideline not as a universal truth. Okay, now that weve covered flirt signals, lets briefly talk about what you need to do when you get them
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Showing Your Interest

It makes me cringe EVERY time I often get an email from a reader which sounds like this: I really like this girl. Shes perfect for me and I want her to be my girlfriend. How do I tell her that I like her??? A message like this always makes me cringe because telling a girl that you *like her* is probably the worst thing to do. Now theres really only one way to show your interest and it should be done in the first conversation you have with the girl. Done correctly, the following technique will help amplify any attraction youve created and make her develop those strong feelings that go way beyond physical chemistry. As you know, the most desirable women have lots of guys to choose from. So how do you make her choose you from the rest of the competition? In short, you have to show a deeper side of your personality. You have to demonstrate that you *might be* interested in her. But it must be done in a way that doesnt come off as too needy. Dating is almost like a dance. Men must initiate (or ask the girl to dance), and then were required to take the lead. Doing so means you have to take two steps forward, and one step back. Dont be in a rush; just enjoy the music. So when is the right time to step back?
During the first conversation, you should know if you do or dont have her interest as something more than a friend. If you know shes attracted then youll want to do the exact opposite of what most guys typically do When a girl seems interested, your average guy will often make the mistake demonstrating his own interest before making her work for his interest. Attraction is not the only element to creating sexual chemistry. To be honest, women are attracted to guys all the time, but do nothing about it. Even if a girl likes a guy and thinks hes interesting, he could say one wrong thing and shell quickly disappear. The best way to create LASTING attraction is to get a woman to prove her worth around you and show that the two of you have something beyond a physical spark, In short, you need to qualify a woman once you know shes interested. (Which is something weve already discussed.) The goal of a properly-executed qualification stage is make her prove her worth. By doing this, shell take more of a risk by talking to you. In other words, by qualifying herself, a woman will put herself on the line, which is something that you want her to do. Know heres where it gets interesting... When a woman is demonstrates her value, you need to show your interest. But when you show interest, it must be done in a way where youre not confessing your feelings or saying how much you like her.
Thats the quickest way to kill attraction. The best way to show your interest is in the responses that you give after she qualifies herself. Heres what I mean If she gives the appropriate responses to your qualifying statements, then you give her subtle demonstrations of your attraction. Ultimately this will help build sexual chemistry. You have to go back to your understanding of women. The truly attractive women are used to having tons of men hit on them. In order to weed out the losers, they only go for the guys who have demonstrated enough value. In other words, they like guys who show that theyre equal to or better then the woman. With qualification, a woman feels like she has earned your attraction. Its not due to her looks. You like her for who she is and what she did in order to attract your attention. Obviously when a woman does something that passes one of your mini-tests, its important to subtly demonstrate that what shes told you has met your expectations. So how do you show your interest? The first way is to use your body language. Women show specific signs when theyre attracted to a guy. The best way to demonstrate your interest is to do the same thing---you use your body language to indicate your interest.
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Remember how women can pick up on these cues. By giving her positive body language, youre basically telling her that you like what shes doing. The next way to show your interest is to use compliments (the right way.) The key here is remember you never want to compliment on something like her looks. Instead, you want to give her a genuine compliment on something that shes actively doing. This will make her feel a stronger pull towards the compliment. Plus its something that she can control. You want to say something that shows that shes winning you over. Like you werent sure about her at first, but after talking to her, youre starting to like her. For instance, here are some comments you could try:

You seemed weird at first, but now that were talking, youre actually a pretty cool person. My first opinion was wrong. You seemed like a party girl, but youre way more intellectual then people give you credit for. I never like people that I meet at a place like this, but you seem different. You have an incredible level of energy. Youre pretty fun to talk to. Your friends seem to love you!
Remember compliments should come at a point where she does something that you enjoy. If shes wearing something unique, then you can compliment her. If shes a genuinely funny person, then say something about it.
In other words, these should be compliments that come from a place where youre actively qualifying her, and shes passing all of your tests. So in conclusion...You never want to flat out tell a girl that youre attracted to her. But you do want to show your interested in direct response to the things that she says or does to meet your qualifications. Okay, now that youre showing interest, how do you take that step to where you go beyond flirting and start forming a real connection? In this next section, were going to briefly cover the topic rapport and how it comes right after you successfully flirt with a girl
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Rapport: Building That Special Connection

Its one thing to create initial attraction with a woman. But its another to make her feel that lasting connection where she truly desires you. Theres a mistake I see many guys make. When they initially meet a woman, they launch into basic questions about her background. These are the interview type questions that do nothing to create attraction. Like...

Where are you from? Whats your job? What do you like to do for fun?
While these questions are great for getting to know a woman, they wont make her want you. Now theres a world of difference between attracting a woman and seducing her. While she might feel some sexual chemistry, it doesnt mean shes going to sleep with you. Sure once in awhile youll encounter a girl who just wants sex without getting to know you. But most of the time this wont happen. In order to make things physical, she needs to feel special connection. One where she feels like youre the rare guy who really gets her. And thats where rapport comes in!
With rapport, you build a special connection that bridges the gap between that initial attraction and her wanting to sleepwith you. To clarify what I mean lets talk about a concept I mentioned before. Remember how I just discussed the importance of qualifying a woman whenever you know shes attracted? Doing this will make her feel like youre interested in her because of who she is on the inside. Not just because shes attractive or you need to get laid. Now if you did a good job qualifying her, a woman will start to feel heightened levels of attraction for you. And when she says something you like, you need to demonstrate your own interest. Unfortunately theres a common hurdle at this point... Shes going to want to know that youre a real person and not somebody whos out to get in her pants. So during rapport, your goal is to turn this attraction into a deep connection. Heres how to do this... For rapport to really work, she has to have some attraction towards you. The best way to do this is to use qualification like I just mentioned. You should understand that rapport is not about giving the power to women.
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In other words, never ask questions that are predictable or boring. Like the where are you from OR whats your job type questions I mentioneverd at the start of this email. Your goal for is to make the woman feel that you two have a lot in common. In a way youre acting under the principle of assumed familiarity. For instance, tell the woman something like, You dont seem like the type of girl who goes to places like this. Whether she says yes or no, shell probably ask what this comment means. Then you can use one of the cold reading techniques I discussed before to show your special insight into what shes about. This will make her feel special, and draw her into you. Rapport is the bond where you feel when youre around someone who is like you. You dont have to be star-crossed lovers; anything from sharing similar interests to appreciating each others jokes can make a solid connection. Rapport breaks through to her levels of trust, and makes her feel more comfortable around you. Moving on... Some people claim that you can establish rapport with the idea of mirroring. Unfortunately thats not the case. Mirroring only works to establish a friendship---NOT attraction. The truth is, women want to be with superior men, not someone just like them. And besides, she is supposed to mirror you, not the other way around.
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To feel a connection, you have to act as if youre already the closest of people. So again, avoid asking boring questions like where shes from, or what she does for work. This only further emphasizes that you dont know one another. Rather ask surface questions. Is there a story behind that necklace? OR Whats the coolest place youve been to. You can also try asking her advice like you would with a friend as a way to show that youre completely comfortable around her. I was thinking of naming my dog Mooch. What do you think of that name? Or I have some vacation time coming up and Im trying to decide between Ireland or Italy. What do you think? I know these dont sound particularly impressive, but they work wonders towards developing a great rapport-building conversation. One trick that I did to practice this skill was to attend a few speeddating events (These are available most major cities or suburbs). During these speed dating session, I would go out of my way to not ask questions about the girl. Instead, I would talk about almost random, nonsensical things. For instance, I would tell a quick, but interesting story that happened to me during that day. Or I would immediately start asking what the weirdest conversation shes had during the speed dating event. Why is this helpful? Well, doing something like this helps you practice the idea that you can quickly establish a bit of assumed familiarity even though you just met a girl.
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Bottom line, for rapport you want to display your personality by telling interesting stories about yourself or asking questionsthat most guys wouldnt ask. Feed her imagination by making her want to learn more about you. If shes attracted, shell to know MORE about you. Now I know I just spoke in pretty vague terms about rapport. So dont worry if youre a little confused. To help you out, here are five ways you can build rapport with women:
#1- Find Commonalities

Finding a commonality is the easiest way to create rapport. Instead of asking her a series of interview questions, you relate your experiences to what shes saying. In a way, this technique shows that youre listening while subtly demonstrating that the two of you have a lot in common. The key here is to have something to say. Storytelling is a key ingredient to attraction. So I recommend you take some time to create a few stories about the interesting things youve done in your life. Like places youve visited. Or interesting aspects of your job. Or funny anecdotes from your day. Or even drama-filled problems which happen to your friends. All you have to do is find the hook in the conversation. Then use it to tell a story.
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As an example, say she just finished talking about a bizarre thing that happened at her job. You would say something like: Thats really crazy! It kind of reminds me of the time where... Then start telling a story thats related to what she just said. The funny thing here is this story doesnt even really have to be related to the last thing she said. Your average woman loves stories. If you get her laughing and interested, shell subconsciously feel like theres a deep connection. Even if what youre saying doesnt relate to her experiences.
#2- Challenge Her

Another method for building rapport is to challenge women. The idea here is to tease women in a funny manner. You take whatever she says and turn it around on her. In a way, this shows that you know youre a confident guy, without having to be a jerk about it. The undeniable truth is women want guys with confidence. And this doesnt stop when youre establishing a deep connection. When youre building rapport, you want to still maintain that challenging attitude which creates attraction. Sure you might be talking about something meaningful to you. But youre still a little bit cocky about it. Think about it Does anyone appreciate something thats given for free? Women want to feel like they have to work for a guys approval.
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So if she asks where you got your tattoo from, respond with something like this... Wow, thats a crazy story. Im not really sure you can handle it. Ill tell you what...How about you give me a neck massage. And while you do that, Ill tell you all about the story behind my tat. Theres an important element here. On one level youre talking about yourself which helps build rapport. But youre also making her invest into your reality. Its ballsy but it works with women.
#3- Assume Familiarity

An excellent way to build rapport is to create the illusion that shes already familiar with you. Just think about how you act with your buddies You dont ask standardized questions about their lives; you just talk to them! Of course, you should refrain from treating her like one of the guys (this goes without saying), but do try to make her feel less like a stranger. Remember if shes NOT comfortable she probably wont sleep with you. A great way to assume familiarity is to talk to her like you would with a person you know. Talk about your immediate surroundings. Comment on the song thats playing, or how loud the venue is. Tease her. Call her a dork when she says something weird.
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And if theres a lull in the conversation, just launch into a wacky thing that just happened to you. Physically speaking, you can do things to assume familiarity. For example, lets say youre in a bookstore. Ask to look at the book shes holding, and at the same time, tell her to hold something for you. This demonstrates that youre comfortable around her, and it builds rapport by physically giving and taking. Intimate couples behave this way with one another. And you can create this feeling simply breaking the stranger barrier and act like someone she already knows.
#4- Elicit Values

The next way to build rapport is to elicit values (EV). With EV you discover deep down what her ideal man would be like. Then you can use the information to build attraction. The important thing here is to look beyond what shes saying. Your focus is to try to find out why she wants certain quality from a man. For instance, if shes talking about liking tall men, find out why tall men appeal to her. A typical response is that tall men make her feel safe. And when youre building rapport, you can subtly demonstrate that you can make her feel secure, even if youre a short guy. Every person in the world has basic desires, even good looking and popular women. Just like you, they want something more from life. It can be anything from freedom to a bit of excitement. When you EV, your job is to find out what she wants and fulfill this need.
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Heres how to do it... First ask her what the one thing she would like to be doing with her life is. Get her to describe her dreams for the future, and then ask her to fully imagine what living this life will be like. She might say that her dream life would make her happy and content. As you are eliciting values, shes starting to actually feel positive emotions. The mind is a powerful thing. Then at the end of the EV, you can tell her that youve just helped her feel those wonderful emotions. In her mind, shes achieved her dreams during the past few minutes. And of course youve been the one to help her make this instant connection.
#5- Fish For Conversation

The final way to build rapport is to get her to talk about herself. The honest truth is there will be times when you run out things to say. What do you do then? Well, you get her to talk about herself! Odds are she has a lot to say. And with most guys, she hasnt had a chance to really reveal her inner-self. A great way to build rapport is to simply ask her questions. Then respond to what shes saying. Now a bit of warning here You want to ask questions that allow you to build an emotional connection, so avoid questions that may lead to boring conversation. Again, this means no questions about her work, her neighborhood, etc. These are the questions that a boring, predictable guy would ask!
Instead, ask about her favorite movie or book, her lifes purpose, a cool childhood memory or why she enjoys a certain hobby. All of these show youre interested in her as a person. Now... You might wonder which of these techniques you should use to build rapport with women. The answer is simple...ALL of them! To create a deep connection its best to use a variety of the methods I just discussed. Whenever you see a woman responding positively to one of them, youll know this is how she relates to men. So try all five then focus on the ones that strengthen the connection youre trying to make. In addition to specific conversation tactics, there is a certain timeline for establishing rapport which were going to cover next
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The Timeline of Rapport

Rapport is something that increases her trust and helps you deepen her levels of attraction. The funny thing about the rapport is it never follows a set pattern with women. You could move through the rapport stage in an hour with one girl, while for another, itll take months. So its unfair to put some arbitrary time line on how long it takes to move through this process. Just remember that you cant sleep with her until she feels like theres trust. The truth is there are a number of factors to consider when it comes to establishing deep rapport with a woman. She could be dating other guys, or she might get busy. She might not be interested in a physical relationship. Like I said, there will be many things you cant control when it comes to rapport. Just remember that attraction is like a string: If you keep the tension tight, then youll probably get her, but if you allow it to go slack, then youll reduce your chances. The one thing about comfort is there is a correlation between the intensity of getting to know somebody. If youre able to build comfort over a couple days during the week, then youll have built a lot more rapport then a guy who sees a girl once every couple of weeks. Remember sexual tension is something that must be maintained constantly.
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A major mistake guys make is to only focus on building attraction when during the first meeting with woman. While flirting is vital to making a woman generally interested, its the rapport that must be built. A woman wont talk to a guy on a long-term basis unless there was a connection that goes deeper than a bit of flirting and attraction. Rapport is one of the final steps towards seduction. When youre getting to know one another, youre literally taking a step back and showing that you have interest in what shes about, not what she looks like. In a dating sense, rapport is the bond between two people who feel heightened levels of attraction and a connection to one another. When a connection occurs, the couple can build a level of trust that quickly leads to an intimate experience. So to give you an idea a rapportbuilding activity seems like, here are a few ideas: Find out more about her Go on dates Increase the physical escalation, remembering to pull back before sex Continue attraction, qualifying, and other routines Introduce her into your fun life Ease back on the teasing
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Make her comfortable being alone with you and having you not make a move. Learn more about her life (job, interests, home life, and other traits...Do this past the attraction/flirting phase) Spend time together, even if theyre not dates. Show a more serious side of your personality. Demonstrate your passions and lifestyle. Discover similar tastes, interests, and opinions. Show a basic level of trust. Do fun activities together Tone down the humor and other sarcastic responses. Have a normal conversation without using too many routines or gimmicks. Build comfort over the phone and through text messaging Discuss common interests and hobbies. Demonstrate a dynamic personality, and bring up interesting topics. To be honest, rapport is very similar to what most people call dating. If you really look at it, dating is all about building trust and a level of compatibility. Okay like I said, rapport is the final step before sex. In this next section, Im going to briefly cover whats going to happen next
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The Next Step

Up to now, youve done the following: You demonstrated qualities she loves in a guy. Youve used your non-verbal communication and touching to build sexual tension. Youve used stories, routines, and push-pull techniques to amplify this tension. Youve created a fun environment by showing your skill and playing flirty games. Youve qualified her to make her know that youre NOT like other guys. Youve increased the intensity of the interaction by establishing rapport. So whats the next step? As you build rapport, youll start to feel close to her. Perhaps, youve initiated sexual contact by kissing or touching her in a way thats more than friends. And eventually all of these actions lead into sex! If done correctly, the information in this guide will often make a girl want to sleep with you, but most of the time, you have to know how to seduce women. In other words, you have to understand how to initiate sexual contact, which goes beyond the scope of this book. The good news is there are a few great resources for making this happen. Specifically I highly recommend the Magic Bullets System which has a complete section on seduction.
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Conclusion
Learn From Your Experiences

FAILURE When it comes to women, many guys fear this word. Its one thing to not be good at a sport or a hobby. But its another to run the risk of being rejected after approaching an attractive girl. So in this final section, I want to talk to you about failure and why its a good thing to experience it. First off, I want to again remind you that success with a woman is a skill. And like any other skill its something that can be trained with the right kind of training. A common thing I see with a lot of guys is they get frustrated when they *fail* with women. Then they simply give up. What you have to remember is failure is part of the learning process. Like a lot of things youve learned in life, you have to go through an awkward phase as you move towards mastery. Even if youre making lots of mistakes, remind yourself that youre learning valuable lessons at the same time. Personally Ive never liked the word mistakes. Instead, I like to refer to them as learning experiences. To improve upon anything in life, you have to evaluate your past experiences, and figure out what did or didnt work. Dont feel inadequate about any problem areas in your life, because nobody is perfect.
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Even the best fail, but what separates a successful person from everyone else is simply that they try again. They learn from their mistakes, and fix them. This advice is no less true when it comes to success with women. If you get rejected by a woman or things dont work out the way you intended, dont get backtracked by it. Instead, review what happened to see if you could have changed anything. Ask yourself: If I knew what I know now, what would I have done different? Then review the entire interaction and see if you can improve upon anything that you did. For instance, you could figure out if you successfully did all of the following:

Did you start the conversation in a manner that engaged her interest? Did you display a confident and high status attitude? Did the conversation build the sexual tension? Did you effectively handle the conversation obstacles she threw your way? Did you focus 70% of the conversation on topics that were chickcentric? Did you make her feel unique or special? Did you pick up on her social cues and respond appropriately? Did you qualify her? Did you establish the right goal for the conversation? (i.e. Go for her number when you know she was leaving soon)
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I highly recommend that you review these qualities after EVERY conversation you have with women. Even the ones that went well. Doing this exercise on a regular basis can help you identify areas you need to improve which will help you have more success in future interactions. Finally, I want to recommend that you use your failures as a way to identify any weak points that you have when youre talking to women. That way you can work on these sticking points and overcome any major roadblocks you might be experiencing. Now that you understand why failure is a good thing, lets go over one last concept before we conclude this guide
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The Importance of Calibration

How do I know when a woman is attracted to me? This is a question every guy has asked himself at some point when meeting a woman for first time. Now, Ive talked a lot about the signs of attraction and how to study the body language of women. So by now you should have the understanding of when woman is into you and when shes not! During an interaction with a woman, youll receive lots of feedback about what youre saying. If your techniques are working, youll see a positive reaction from her. This can include actions like laughter, heavy touching, and teasing comments. On the other hand, if she looks annoyed or like shes not enjoying herself, then you know shes not buying what youre selling. To get the MOST results from each conversation (and learn from your mistakes), its important to use a technique thats known as Calibration. With calibration, you carefully monitor her reactions to the conversation topics. Calibration is gauging a womans reaction to you and your actions. Its useful because when see youre not creating attraction, you can quickly change topics and recover from a dying conversation. How do you use calibration? Well..I always use this technique to decide where I should take a discussion as Im talking to a girl.
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Specifically, there are three types of reactions youll get in a conversation. And each has a different action you need to take when you encounter them. The first is a positive reaction. If your audience seems genuinely interested in what youre saying, then everything is going well. This means you should continue what youre doing. If a woman is laughing, touching you and flirting back, then shes probably interested in you! The second possibility is a mixed reaction. Here you wont be sure if this girl is in synch with you. Sometimes shes laughing and having fun. Other times, she seems distant and cold. When this happens, you should continue with what youre doing. Maintain that flirting atmosphere and keep working on creating sexual tension. At the same time, be extremely cautious and prepare to switch tactics quickly if what youre saying is not clicking with this girl. The final possibility is a bad reaction. Perhaps its something you said, or maybe youre dealing with somebody who is overly sensitive. When this happens its important to immediately stop what youre doing and move to a different tactic. For instance, if she reacts negatively to teasing, you can redirect the conversation around a fun thing that happened to you during the work. But with that being said, there are times when youll encounter a girl who is simply a negative person. With calibration, you can quickly
filter out an overly-sensitive woman from someone who just doesnt like one thing youve said. When it comes to a negative woman, the best option is usually to give up and walk away from the situation. Calibration is about knowing when to take a step forward or a step backwards. When you know shes attracted to you and establishing physical contact, then you dont have to worry as much about building attraction through flirting. Instead you can isolate her and escalate the interaction. On the other hand, calibration also helps you know when youre dealing with a girl who is uncomfortable. With this technique, you can quickly identify a problem situation and act accordingly! Bottom line Be very observant. Women are very good at hiding their reactions. While they may be acting polite and participating in the conversation, they may not be demonstrating any signs of true attraction. What you have to remember is that its not their fault its actually yours. Attraction can be built in almost any situation. Remember that you might be doing something wrong in the process, so its up to YOU to turn these negative feelings into a positive experience.
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Final Thoughts
Flirting is a fun experience thats enjoyed by both sexes. If you follow the advice in this book, youll find that its easy to create a flirting situation where shes really interested in you. Successful flirting can be easily achieved when youre having fun for your own sake.Not just hers. You want to be the fun, energetic guy who is entertaining and passing along good emotions to women. If a woman is laughing and enjoying herself, she wont be that concerned if youve messed up in a couple of other areas. The reason we flirt is that we cant come out and tell women that were interested in having sex. The best way to do it is use innuendos (or humor) to talk about the subject in a way that makes her feel comfortable. This makes it easy to introduce the topic without seeming perverted or weird. Talking about sex in a roundabout way is effective because it creates an environment of sexual tension. Youre breaking down her barriers without being overt. Furthermore, youre implanting the relation of SEX to talking to you. This makes it easier to progress to having sex later on So before I leave you, let me give some parting thoughts about flirting Always flirt. Even if its a little old lady, talk to her in a flirtatious manner. This will help you refine your techniques, and become more comfortable with women.
Dont isolate flirting from your everyday personality. In order to be truly successful, the two must be joined. This will dramatically skyrocket your success. Dont get caught up in the I only approach women when Im trying to pick them up mindset. Flirting all the time will help you see women as more approachable beings. Of course, youll find that the ones you are NOT interested in are easier to talk to than the more attractive ones, but in reality, all women are equal. Finally (and most importantly), you need to learn to respect yourself. As Ive said before, hitting on women should come second to taking care of your life. Be a challenge by having passions other than women, and dont settle for girls who dont meet your qualifications. Follow the advice youve learned in this book, and soon, shell be chasing after you. Good luck!
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