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BY HOLLY BENNETT

A PERFECT MATCH

Crafting the perfect dating profile, triathlete-style

The topic of Internet datingand particularly how people portray themselves in their online profiles featured prominently in a recent conversation among my friends. I know several veterans of the online dating scene, and their sagas of stretched truths and disturbing surprises (and, fortunately, also some real-life success stories) are plentiful.

HUNTER KING

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This got me thinking: How would one go about crafting the perfect dating prole for a triathleteone that would draw in-it-for-the-right-reasons attention and, ultimately, an ideal partner? We all know triathletes are absolutely awesome at relationships. Were healthy, were t and were so high on endorphins were nearly always happy (unless were mid-bonk, when were downright cantankerous). We keep everything in our livesespecially the time we spend swimming, biking and runningin perfect balance and perspective. And we never, ever get too self-absorbed. Wait a minute maybe we do need a little help in the dating department. But for a triathlete casting his or her love net further aeld than the local tri club, theres an imminent danger. To the uninitiated, a triathletes sport/ life balance and unusual obsessions may seem oddly askewenough so that some romantic prospects might ee before ever giving us a ghting chance. So, while Im a proponent of honesty, I would urge any triathlete in the dating game to somewhat temper your truth. I dont recommend springing the full extent of your swim, bike and run fetish on a potential partner completely unawares. Filter your endurance addictionat least until youve locked down a second or third date, at which point Cupids arrow has generally found its mark, courtship is in full swing and all may be revealedthe good, the bad and the ugly equally glossed over by goo-goo eyes. To that end, here are some guidelines to help single triple-sport studs and studettes create the ultimate online dating prole. Post no more than one photo of yourself topless (men) or in a bikini (women). Indeed, youve worked damn hard for that bodyits understandable that you want to aunt your taut abs, your toned thighs and your glistening guns. But hold off on the skin-baring seles. Theres a time and a place for body bravadonamely, the privacy of your bedroom, perhaps a few dates in. Similarly, limit yourself to one race photo. There will be plenty of time to tour Miss or Mr. Right through your trophy room if and when this relationship gets off the ground. Feel free to call yourself an acionado of ne nutrition, or even a foodie. Later you can fess up to knowing the calorie, sodium and potassium count of every energy gel on the market, yet being unable to cook much more than mac n cheese.
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By all means, avoid the phrase going long. We know what that means in iron-speak, but outside of the endurance sports bubble it could easily be misinterpreted. Under no circumstances should you post a photo of your bike (unless youre riding it), or admit that it shares your bedroom. Be honest about your age. Its a single number, not a ve-year range. Crowie worship is not, in fact, a recognized religion. Do not admit to your actual bedtime. No matter how you slice it, crawling under the covers at 8:30 p.m. is not a turn-on. Never post a photo where youve obviously cropped out a former ing. Thats just lame, triathlete or not. If youre fortunate enough to catch someones online eye, you may need help navigating the next step: the rst date. Be wary of rst-date full disclosure, because trust menot everything about triathlon is as sexy as you might think. First impressions are everything, so steer clear of certain taboo topics and avoid any precarious pitfalls in order to ensure an encore in your budding romance. Dont invite a non-triathlete new relationship prospect on a ride or run. The goal is to get some ass, not kick some. Nobody likes being humiliated by his or her date, and youre probably far too competitive for a fun run. Never utter the phrase saddle sore. You may have one, and you may be in utter agony as you shift uncomfortably on your barstool, but smile and keep mum about it. Similarly, talk of GI issues is not a topic for normal adult conversation beyond the triathlete bubble. Dont go there. Sticky, sweaty and stinky are A-OK for the gym, the trail or the race course. For your date, shower up and by all means dont wear anything that wicks or features the words Ironman Finisher. Being well-read means that youve indulged your intellect with something other than both the print and online versions of Triathlete. Resist the urge to name-drop. No matter how many pro athletes you count as Facebook friends, its meaningless drivel to your non-triathlete date. Follow this advice and youll be on your way to nding amoreeven if your idea of a long walk by the beach is actually a shuffle through the lava elds in Kona.