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CONFESSIONS OF AN AGE GROUPER

CULTURE SHOCK
BY HOLLY BENNETT

USTRALIANS ARE AN interesting bunch. And not just because they swim laps clockwise. Aussies dont muck around mincing words. At this years Ironman AsiaPacic Championship in Melbourne, the professional athlete panel was interviewed by fellow pro and Melbourne local Chris Legh. He questioned American athlete Jessica Jacobs, who posted a 2:53 marathon at the 2011 Ironman Florida, about her run talent as compared to prerace favorite and Kona run course record holder Mirinda Carfrae. Lets say you two come o the bike together. Can you outrun Rinny? probed Legh. Jacobs was careful in her response, as one might expect from a media-savvy pro. She spoke of how anything can happen and while Mirinda is an incredible runner she felt condent in her own run. Obviously youre American, interrupted Legh. All we want to know is can you beat her or not! Aussies rarely beat around the bush.

They can be inordinately blunt. The morning after the race, a middle-aged blokea complete stranger, who was limping from the previous days eort joined me in the elevator en route to the hotel lobby. He felt compelled to explain his trip to the ground oor, away from his shared room, oering up this morsel of personal information: Figured Id do the gentlemanly thing and use the public toiletyou know, after a full day of racing and all those bars and gels! Although at times downright brash, Aussies are also incredibly helpful and kind. Upon discovering that I was visiting from abroad, every person I met provided a detailed itinerary as to where I should go and what I should see. A few oered to personally escort me. The store clerks in Melbourne, a city known for its trendy boutiques and high-fashion nds, were genuinely warmnot like the snub-nosed snoots that inhabit many Hollywood and Manhattan retail

establishments. And as I exited the country, the United Airlines agent actually fudged in my favor when I asked if it was really necessary to charge $70 for a second checked bag. No, she said with a smile, allowing my two overstued totes aboard for free. Imagine that happening in the States. Men are wonderfully bold when it comes to fashion in Australia, sporting all the modern styles. I commiserated with one of my newfound mates as to the lack of ash among most American men. He remarked on how many Yanks wear those weird khaki pleated pant things, as he posed in his sharp blazer and skinny jeans. And on-course, while most Aussie males don traditional singlets and shorts, a handful are always brazen enough to rock up to a race in unabashed budgy smugglers (translation: Speedos). Yes, the land down under is a magical, mystical place. A country nicknamed Oz. A place where world champion triathletes are born and bred, sparkling 50m swim lanes are abundant, lazing over lattes is altogether encouraged and kangaroos really do run wild. Granted, not everything is perfect in Oz. The UV index is dangerously high. Locals have an inexplicable love for a vile thing called Vegemite. And arguments do happen among otherwise fun-loving Aussie mates. Theyre generally quite heated. But theyre also readily resolved with a few frothy pints.

HUNTER KING

52 JULY 2012