Men and women unknowingly create conflict within themselves.

The relationship between them have always had unbearable misunderstandings of each other because they don't comprehend the communication style of the other. Both have learned to communicate in different ways for many years. Deborah Tannen, a linguistics professor, has spent time studying and explaining the phenomenon that is the communication mechanisms of both genders. Having extra time during first period, some teenagers got to talking. It was a noisy environment with different groups of people sitting together. There was a group of guys across the room laughing. Some girls in the middle of the classroom were talking about school and their classes. One girl was having a break down because her friend, a guy, liked the picture of her crush on a social media. She stated that her crush would know that she had been on his page looking through it and thinking about it. He disagreed and explained that guys don't think too much about a girl liking their picture. The girl kept on disagreeing with her friend and panicking about the situation. Deborah Tannen's ideas were exposed in the conversation between these two about the way men and women speak to each other. The girl was complaining, "Oh my God, he's going to know that I was thinking about him and looking through his pictures." Her girlfriend would try to console her by stating that it would be alright and that it had happened to her before. Tannen states, "Men grow up in a world in which a conversation is often a contest . . . . For women, however, talking is often a way to exchange confirmation and support" ("Can't We Talk?"). The girlfriend's consolation allowed the girl to calm down a little and feel as if she wasn't the only one in that kind of situation. On the contrary, the male friend was explaining that she could easily just tell him that her friend accidently liked his picture. Tannen explains that complaining is a way men are tested to search for a resolution while women expect it to be a way to gain compassion and assurance ("Can't We Talk?"). The guy's response only led to her rejection of the possible solution and the continuous complaining. Throughout the conversation, the girl would look at the guy while she was hysterical about the situation. He, on the other hand, would look forward, down at his phone on his desk, or at a poster. Sometimes he would look at whoever was speaking the time for about a second, then go back to ignoring eye contact. This caused the girl to repeat herself sometimes, while looking at him, because she thought that he wasn't listening. The variation in the customary ways of men and women maintain themselves during conversation is the main cause of misunderstandings, Tannen explains ("Sex, Lies, and Conversation"). The misalignment men take in their posture causes women to believe that they aren't listening. With so much misinterpretation between men and women, it is no wonder why they may always argue about the communication styles of each - especially within couples. The linguistics and mechanisms of the two genders creates a barrier between them - whatever is said or done is

taken into account as the exact opposite that it was meant to be: the posture, the answer to a question or complaint, or the feeling of being pushed around or supported.

Quotation with ellipses Summary Paraphrase

Works Cited Tannen, Deborah. "You Just Don't Understand: Can't We Talk?" N.p. Web. 17 Sep. 2013. --. "Sex, Lies, and Conversation; Why Is It So Hard For Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?" The Washington Post. N.p. 24 June 1990. Web. 17 Sep. 2013.