F unnY

HABIT never goes

if u remove H
A-BIT remains
If u remove A
BIT remains and
IF u remove B
It still remains.
So my habit of
scrapping u
will never go.

When I was a dog, and

you were a flower
I walked over you and
gave you a shower!!

Ladka shaadi se pehle

SPIDERMAN
Sagai k Samay
SUPERMAN
Shadi k Samay
GENTLEMAN
Shadi k 10 saal baad
WATCHMAN
Shadi k 20 saal baad
DOBERMAN.
Summer Resort-
A place where girls
try to get husbands
and husbands
try to get girls.

The difference between

marriage and death?
Dead people are
free atleast!

Why is a bachelor skinny

and a married man fat?
-The Bachelor comes
home, takes one look at
what's in the refrigerator,
and goes to bed.
-The Married man
comes home, takes one
look at what's in the bed
and goes to refrigerator!
The poor wish to be rich
the rich wish to be happy
the single wish to be
married
and the married
wish to be dead.

Which type of girls

wear transparent dresses?
The girls not having
any confidence on
imagination power
of a man!

Teacher to Bunty:
How old is your father?
Bunty:As old as I am
Teacher: How is that
possible?
Bunty: He became father
only after I was born.
There was a lover
who said that he would go
through hell for her.
They got married-now
he is going through hell !!

The average guy is

much more interested
in a girls Geography
than her History.

A Husband:
There are only two things
about me that my wife
doesn’t care about-
(i)Everything I say and
(ii)Everything I do.

Bunty invested 2 lakh

in a business and suffered
a huge loss.
- Do you know
what was the business?
- He opened a
hair cutting saloon
in Punjab!!
Man 2 Chemist:
Mujhe White colour ka
condom dena?
Chemist:White kyon?
MAn:Meri Padosan ka
pati mar gaya hai
mujhe afsos
karne jana hai.

Why do women spend

so much time on
improving their LOOKS
and not their MIND?
Because they know that
men are STUPID
but not BLIND.

Angrez-Hamare yahan
80% shaadiyan
e-mail se hoti hain
Bunty- Kamaal hai!
hamare yahan
100% shaadiyan
female se hoti hain
I'll take bricks and write
"I MISS U" on them
and throw it on your head
to make u feel,
how much it pains
when "I MISS U"

Cultural difference
between USA & India
In USA u can kiss at any
public place but
can’t do SUSU.
In India u can SUSU
at any public place
but can’t do KISS

A Judge fined a rapist

Rs. 10,800
When the man asked
why Rs. 10,800?
Judge replied-
10,000 for rape plus
8% entertainment tax.
A Sex expert was asked
whether rape is possible
while running?
No Chance!
Woman can run faster
with her skirt up than a
man with pants down.

Difference between
good girls & bad girls
Good girls open a
few buttons in
hot atmosphere, but
Bad girls open all buttons
to make the
atmosphere hot!

Father on the day of

graduation ceremony
of his son asks him-
What was the
hardest thing u learned
at College?
How to open
Beer bottles with teeth!
Who was the 1st Indian
woman 2 fly abroad?
********
********
********
Sitaji with Raavan.

Man goes 2 medical shop

Man-I need poison
Shopkeeper-I can’t sell u
(MAn shows
his wife's Photo)
Shopkeeper- Oh! Sorry!
didnt know
u had a prescription!

For a Pepsi-
Shahrukh Khan,
4 a Fanta-
Rani Mukherjee,
4 a Coke- Aamir Khan,
4 a Thumps up-
Salman Khan,
Chinta mat kar Yaar
Kanche Waali bottle teri
The boy fell in love with
a girl at
second sight
because in first sight
he didnt know that
she was very rich

God made man and

then rested
God made woman and
then no one rested

Aim for the stars

but first aim for their
bodyguards

What is the
thinnest book in the
world?
What Men know
about Women
How Dogs and Women
are alike
Neither believe that
silence is golden
Neither can balance
a checkbook
Both put too much value
on kissing

What is the difference

betwwen a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a
positive side!

Hello I am a virus and

I am entering your brain
right now.....
sorry,
I will leave,
I cant find a brain!

One out of
four people is a Chinese
if your father,
your mother and
your brother are not
Chinese it must be you
This cat,is cat,a cat
good cat, way cat,
to cat, keep cat, a cat,
idiot cat, busy cat,
for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat!
Now read it all without the
word cat!

Those beautiful eyes,

that incredible body,
such a brain
a sexy mouth
nice smile....but that is
enough about me,
tell me how you are ?

Someday u may lose

ur hair
u may lose ur teeth
ur money & even lose
ur mind
but 1 thing u will
never loose is
ur good looks
coz u can't lose wat
u dont have !
If you delete this scrap
thats bcoz
u love me
if u save it thats bcoz
u desire me &
if u ignore it thats becoz
u miss me
so what u gonna do
with it?

Why do u think
I scrap u?
Is it because I care?
Or I miss u?
Or I love u ?
Or I need you?
No! its becoz
I need a person for just
TIME PASS

Niche jaao aur jito

PAISE HI PAISE
..........
or niche (continue……..)
..........
or niche
..........
YAKIN nahin aata
"TUM" paiso k liye
itna niche gir sakte ho

Great people talk

abt ideas,
average people talk
abt things
small people talk
abt other people
and the LEGENDS
never talk they just
send scraps like this!!!

END
Dear Reader,
This scraps are collected from orkut web.
Thanks,
Balaji