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Childrens Behaviour

an emotional response gone awry

By Wendy Forster

When a child consistently presents with behaviours that are challenging or puzzling, our first response is often instinctive. This response is based on our own experience as children and/or as parents. This initial response may be unhelpful bringing with it a complex web of relationships, values and expectations that hold little relevance to the child and their situation.

Wendy explains that:

In essence, the model involves staff:

If you always do what youve always done, you always get what youve always got
As we worked through the process of reviewing our Behaviour Guidance Policy, it became clear that if we wanted to have a better understanding of childrens behaviour, we needed to view it though a new lens. It made sense to focus our attention on Attachment theory. In particular the Circle of Security model (Marvin, Cooper, Hoffman & Powell, 2002). This model translates attachment theory (which is complex) into a working model for both parents and childcare staff to apply to their daily practice. For more information about the circle of security please see the resources on the following page.

Managing roles so that there is

always an adult physically and emotionally available to children.

Being aware of where children are

on the circle, and what intervention is required to help them manage their emotions.

Providing safe hands for each child

a refuge for when their emotions are too big for them to manage.

Reflecting on how we can support

all children to effectively use the circle, at the same time teaching emotional regulation.

Were developing a deeper understanding of the behaviour of the children we work and of ourselves. We can identify:

Situations that challenge us emotionally and thereby impact on how we respond

to childrens behaviour.

The difference between connecting with children and behaviours that seek to control. Those children or others that we find most difficult to work with. When this occurs,
we need to be honest and plan as a team to ensure that we build positive relationships.

Case Study
Sally was working with a group of nearly three year old children. Among them was Charlie. Charlie was exhibiting a range of behaviours that were challenging for staff, including tantrums. He was generally non compliant at the most difficult moments. His mother was experiencing post natal depression and Charlies behaviour was unpredictable. Sally was at her wits end. She was honestly feeling helpless and beginning to see her relationship with Charlie disintegrating. This was at a time when Charlie most needed a pair of safe hands to help him regulate his emotions. Sally needed to look at Charlies behaviour through a different lens. She realised that Charlie used mainly the top half of the circle, rarely coming in. This meant that Sally only noticed him when his emotions had gotten too big and he found himself in trouble. Strategies were put in place to help him manage his emotions before they overwhelmed him. At the same time, Sally began to work hard at strengthening the relationship with Charlies mother. Over time, Sally began to describe Charlies behaviour differently. Words like difficult, unpredictable and uncontrollable were replaced with reflective questions and observations that supported connection. With increased emotional support, Charlies behaviour modified, his mother also came into the circle and Sally was more aware of the signals that he needed help.

Children are sensitive to the significant adults in their lives and build their self-understanding upon the interactions they have with their parents, teachers and carers. When these attachment figures have a deeper understanding of the children in their care, they can provide a foundation of emotional well being and security that enables children to thrive. (Siegel & Hartzell, 2004)

change only. Change is never a loss it is Vernon Howard

References and Resources:
Marvin, R., Cooper, G., Hoffman, K., & Powell, B. (2002). The Circle of Security Project: Attachment-based intervention with caregiver-preschool child dyads. Attachment and Human Development, 4(1), 107-124. doi: 10.1080/14616730210131635 Siegal, D., and Hartzell, M. (2004). Parenting from the inside out: How a deeper self understanding can help you raise a child who thrives. New York: Penguin Schore, A. (2001). The effects of a secure attachment relationship on right brain development, affect regulation and infant mental health. Infant Journal of Mental Health, 22, 77-68 Early Childhood Australia: www.earlychildhoodaustralia.org.au/pdf/rips/rip0704.pdf

Circle of Security: www.circleofsecurity.org/