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Nazi

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e Frank on Nazis

Order of the Nazi was an order of chivalry (similar to the Order of the British Empire or the Order of Uncyclopedia)

was known for its ruthless and selective initiation processes. They were known to be relaxed toward members of the

n race, whereas for other denominations it was next to impossible to be admitted. They were dissolved after

Trials of Nuremburg, a particularly difficult challenge imposed by the world, who had become jealous of their ultra-

exclusivity. were obsessed with innefective and costly methods of dispatching their enemies, like for example transporting

mies had it for free, well, not like the travel industry) enemies in a happy camp (which You can infer from very few

le complaining about it), where they baked cookies all the time (they had huge bills for gas), with sadistic guards were not well paid and saw no satisfaction with the job). Enemies were punished - refusing enemies to eat any

ie they made themselves, at least according to Nazis. Enemies were locked here until they died of natural cause -

and bored to death they stuffed their heads into gas oven (yes, they did not even realize electricity was cheaper).

Nazis were defeated the horrible amount of documentary movies were made about them. They were full of

aganda against Nazis. The amount of propaganda in these movies heavily outweights all the Nazi propaganda so

h, that it renders it quite nonexistant.


Contents [show]

tory

orld War I, Adolf Hitler was wounded. As he waited in the hospital, drifting in and out of consciousness, he claimed

aw a vision. He said "Good care should be taken not to deny things that are true." And indeed, he believed the

ssity of such a party as this order to be real and true. As such, he chose not to deny it, and as soon as the

bullet of the Great War was shot, he emerged with his new ideology. He outlined this ideology in a groundbreaking known as Mein Kampf which, when translated to English, means roughly My Incessantly Annoying Pontification. In

book, Hitler painted a picture of a disorganized world where the "bourgeoisie" oppress the "proletariat" in a brutal

on.

Nazi Scout kit.

gh this in itself would be enough to warrant a lawsuit from Karl Marx (author of New York Times

seller The Communist Manifesto), Hitler departs from this train of thought for a good bit of the first half of the

nd volume, which is composed primarily of accusatory ramblings that end up reading as nothing more than the

plaints of a petulant child. After this sidetrack, he concludes the book promising that he'll fix Germany, best summed this quote directly from the book. I'm gonna mess those bitches up. They went and screwed up our economy and now them bitches is gonna pay! Word! Peace! No, wait...
Adolf Hitler

blic readings of the book, at this point Hitler would rip off his obviously fake mustache and Nazi uniform, revealing

ang colors of the Cripz, and get on the table and begin to gangsta rap. Though his favorite topic was "screwing hos" (ho being a German colloquialism for "Jew, Homosexual, Gypsy, or any other form of deviant in the eyes of

Fhrer Hitler"), he would occasionally delve into such deeper topics as "der final soluzion bitches" (Final Solution =

man MMORPG)

large companies conform to Nazi Ideology.

gin of Name

word Nazi is actually an acronym for National Socialist German Workers' Party, which, when converted to an

nym in the German language, becomes National Asocialist Zgerman Iworkers *space*Party, which inspired the

e software package iWork.

e Order: Rankings

one was definitely a Chancellor.

der of decreasing importance, the Order of the Nazi looked something like this:

Fhrer

Chancellor

Minister

Aryan

Prole

Rottweiler

Jew

rer" was a rank meaning "leader," and was thus only occupied by Adolf Hitler for the duration of the Order's

ence. "Chancellor," was a sub-leader, a sort of "wannabe" that wasn't Hitler but wished to hell he was. This was

pied by such well-known Nazis as Hans Zimmer, Joseph Goebbels, and Hermann Goering. "Minister" was anyone

in the Order that was of governmental importance. Aryan was the lowest rank, occupied by any German, who was

th automatically inducted into the Order. "Prole" is a rank stolen from 1984 that was given to any non-German who

ed to join.

e Order: Admission

Order of the Nazi was, as previously mentioned, a ruthless quasi-cult, an extremely far-reaching fraternity, if you will.

sions for the admission of Aryans (the founders of this brotherhood) were, as such, rather nonexistent, and indeed

etimes criticized by existing members. Usually, these people were killed, as the Nazis had no problem with violence.

e same vein, the admission policy for anyone else who wanted to join was similarly ruthless, as detailed in the

wing sections.

ly Years of the Order

s Napoleon complex was based on the fact that he never could get along well with others.

e early years, membership in the Order of the Nazi was a highly coveted position among many, particularly the

ers of groups opposed to Hitler's political ideologies. However, as a general rule, Hitler did not allow suchmen into

Order. As such, he created a rigorous testing program to ensure that those wishing to join were physically and

ally fit for admission.

process boiled down to the mantra "Work will make you free," a philosophy carried by Hitler until the end. Under this

d, potential members were imprisoned in forced labor camps indefinitely, being let free when Hitler determined it

right to do so. This rarely, if ever, happened, and as such by the beginning of World War II not many of these

le wished to join anymore.

er Years of the Order

r soon grew weary of such a homogeneous group, and thus proposed his "Final Solution" to this problem. He would

t every Jew, homosexual, gypsy, et al into the screening process, to gain more inductees. The process was similar

at of the early years; however, many people were admitted into a super-secret new rank of the order, Covert. This

was where most proles went after induction (approximately 6 million, in fact), and were never heard from again. No

knows where they went, though most believe that they were used as secret agents in plans plotted by the Germans.

rs say that they became janitors in Brick-Oven Pizza Palaces. No one knows for sure. Wherever these people went,

e people never made it past "prole," toiling in the forced-labor camps until the fall of the Reich (German for "Order of

Nazi, Reign of Adolf Hitler, aided by his people in a time of perpetual war")

e Order: Activities

zi girls' propaganda troupe, performing their Swastika dance.

practicing Hammerzeit.

Order wasn't all bad. For members, it was a fun-filled adventure. In the Order, the Nazis participated in such

ties as:

Hunting- In this activity, played almost every day by Nazis, the target would be decided upon, and then they had to

kill said target in the most crafty way possible. Usually the winner (who was awarded with a permanent brand of the

swastika and a kiss on the mouth by a Nazi official), who was deemed the craftiest and most intelligent of the day,

was the one who killed the target with a gun. Then again, everyone did that. But it's not like it was a bureaucracy or

anything.

The Nazi Bowling Team Beat Poland, the Rhineland, and the Sudetenland in 1939.

Bowling- Threw a giant ball down greased wood to get a big score. And no, bowling is not a euphemism for what

you're thinking it is. That wouldn't have been looked upon kindly by the Nazis.

Camping- Another potentially homoerotic activity, Nazi children would often camp out in the woods of

Poland/Rhineland/France to study nature. Of course, at the time, all of these places were oppressed by their leaders,

and so the nature was kinda, well, unnatural.

Movies- Nazis of all ages would flock to the theaters to see the newest film, whether it be Gone With The Wind,

Soylent Green, or Der Jude ist Schlecht.

Scavenger Hunt- All across Europe, people would search for the Golden Ticket, their way up in the rankings. In

German, this ticket was known as "Jude" or "Zigeuner." A scavenger hunt often turned to an all-out hunt once

he person target was found.

Hammertime- Also known as Hammerzeit, Nazi's for a point went through a trend of wearing parachute pants and

soft hip hop such as Rick James and MC Hammer. Hitler during this time is quoted as stating: "I'm Adolf Hitler

bitch!" and "Stop, Hitler-time.". Hammerzeit was believed to be a trend in Nazi Germany between the years

of 1939 and 1939 until the beginning of the infamous New York Times, which thankfully lasted only until 1940. It is

unknown what time came after New York Times.

zi Super Science

Nazi where also famous for their mad science super science, Hitler soon realized that the Jews where not liking the

ies they made themselves and pondered a many days, soon he discovered the concept of bermensch

nounced oo-ber-munch) hailed as the ultimate goal of humanity by the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, to create the

ds greatest cookie. However in his plans to round up the best bakers he could get, the realization soon took over

o create a large cookie one requires large hands. Thus the idea for a Super Soldat (not to be confused with the

rican attempt at it later on, Super Soldier) was created and begun rounding up the greatest German scientists.

ever he realized that for this idea to come into fruition he would need complete secrecy so he used old Russian

nology of the once useless technology of space travel, to fly to the moon and begin construction on a Top Secret

Moon Bases. He even got work on a Nazi Hover Tank (which was never completed) for the original purpose of large amount of dough at big targets while moving across bumpy terrain.

est Nazi scientists tried to create super soldiers to keep the peace, they where designed to use their large hands to create the best

es and spank anyone who tried to steal them (The Motivator was the original model).

e Order and WWII

Nazis were credited with the invention of the holiday camp in 1936. Each camp had a group of entertainment staff called "Black Shirts" to

de fun and frolics for all the happy campers.

Order of the Nazi was very popular. Accordingly, the entire government of Germany joined it. Most people believe it

the inverse (ie: The Order of the Nazi was established afterthe government, by the government), but this is a

onception. In fact, the Order of the Nazi was established in 1919, many years before World War II started. But this

other digression.

as previously stated, the entire government of Germany joined the Order of the Nazi, and subsequently joined the

These are two events completely separate of each other, but most do not know this, and therefore blame Nazis for

nctioned invasion of Poland, thus igniting what is considered by many to be the worst international conflict in history.

hat was the fault of the government, but the Nazi name was slandered by jealous bureaucrats who were, well,

us. In the culmination of the European Theater of the war, therefore, theTrials of Nuremberg were mounted to

olve the Nazis forever.

ermath and Trial

ge Neo-Nazis.

most members, the Order was life. Ergo, most either committed suicide or let themselves die in the trials rather than

n sans the Nazi name. For many, this was considered a great triumph, not only for petty jealousy and justifying libel,

lso because the deaths of these government officials marked the end of a murderous regime. This may well be true.

y Aryans did die under the regime of those who were also Nazis. But misunderstanding played a big role in this as

In fact, so many who now know the truth are outraged, and shave their heads in memoriam of the fallen Nazis. power to them, for theirs is a truly noble fight.

e also

Nazism

Nazi Party

Nuremburg

Godwin's Law

Richard Littlejohn

BNP

Erwin Rommel

Adolf Hitler

Hermann Goering

Mutter - mein Endlosung!

Fascist Guy

vde

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