PSYCHOLOGY E-1503: PSYCHOLOGY OF RELATIONSHIPS FALL 2013 SYLLABUS Time: Mondays, 5:30-7:30 PM Location: Northwest Science Building B101

Instructor: Holly A. Parker, Ph.D. Office Hours: By appointment. E-mail: parholly@gmail.com

I will respond to any student email within 48 hours during the work week. Please do not wait until the evening before an assignment is due to contact me; I will likely not respond to questions or concerns until the next day.

Teaching Fellow: Office Hours: By appointment. E-mail: Course Website: http://isites.harvard.edu/k97494 Course Overview: This course is an exploration of the psychology of close human relationships. Although we will be primarily learning about intimate (i.e., romantic) relationships, we will also discuss friendships, as well as the places where these two kinds of relationships intersect, and the ways in which they interact. Other kinds of close relationships (e.g., family, work relationships) will be integrated into the course, and although they are extremely valuable relationships in their own right, they will be addressed secondarily to romantic relationships and friendships for the purposes of this course. Examples of topics in this course include the biological bases of attraction and love, relationship formation and dissolution, relational interaction patterns, relationship satisfaction, and the social context of relationships (e.g., the influence of others). You will have an opportunity to explore relationships through readings in the popular press, but ultimately a scholarly, critical examination of the scientific literature will serve as the foundation of our learning throughout the course. You will find that the literature contains unexpected findings that can change the way you look at relationships, both from academic and applied, real-life perspectives, and I look forward to joining you on that exploration. Course Goals: This course has three main goals. The first goal is to provide you with a comprehensive over view of the research in relationship psychology and of its underlying theories, as well as special considerations that are inherent in conducting this kind of research. The second goal is to help you learn how to effectively apply, both theoretically and practically, the knowledge that you acquire in this course. Our weekly discussions and the short assignments that you will complete are intended to facilitate this process. An important point to keep in mind is that even though this course touches on topics that will feel personally applicable and salient to us all (and you are welcome to integrate relevant

personal examples into points that you make), this class is not intended to be a self-help course. Although I am a therapist outside of this class, that is not my role in this course, nor is it the role of your classmates. That said, you will acquire a great deal of information about the psychology of relationships through this course, and it is entirely understandable to want to apply what you find helpful and personally salient to the world around you (it could also potentially be very beneficial!). Finally, the third goal is to have fun and relish the learning process in this exciting field! Relationships are, arguably, a fundamental component of our quality of life; they have the potential to greatly enhance or undermine psychological and physical health. For this reason, I am passionate about this field as well as the use of scientific rigor to explore it. After all, mindful, scholarly inquiry (both our own and that of the researchers in the field) forms the foundation of our confidence in the conclusions we draw in this course, which is important in its own right, but particularly so when you apply it to your own lives! Class Policies To effectively familiarize yourself with the material and apply it to your own lives (as well as to have a positive class experience overall), you need only do the following: Show up. This is a pretty simple one. It basically means that if you dont attend class and section, either in person or online, or if you arrive late repeatedly, youre going to miss a lot. Thus, please attend or watch every class, and participate in every section. That said, I also understand that illness and various life events will happen. If you are ill, its probably healthy for you and your fellow classmates to care for yourself and excuse yourself from class if you planned to attend in person. If you need to miss a class for illness or for any other reason, you will still be responsible for viewing the lecture online at another time. I also understand that it's possible to feel so sick that even participating in section online can be a challenge in some cases. If this is the case, please let your teaching fellow know that you will be unable to participate with as much advance notice as possible. Read the articles before we talk about them in class. Its difficult to participate in class discussions, complete assignments, or learn without reading the relevant articles beforehand. If you need tips on how to efficiently digest the articles assigned, please let me or your teaching fellow know. Participate. The quality of this course depends in large part upon your level of engagement in the class or in section with your fellow students. Classes will include group discussion, as well as experiential exercises and debates. If you are an online student, you are a valuable part of our class community, and I welcome questions and active involvement from you! I will incorporate questions that you submit after each class into the following class whenever possible. Sections will generally involve: a) submitting a weekly question or comment on the discussion board, and b) replying to another

student's question or post within two days. Occasionally, you will have an opportunity to interact live with each other by attending a video conference with your classmates and your teaching fellow. Your teaching fellow will provide you with the dates for these video conferences. Thus, your participation in class and section enhances the experience not only for yourself, but for your fellow students as well (and for me, as I am genuinely interested in what you have to say!). Complete each assignment and turn it in on time: This writing intensive course includes various assignments intended to facilitate your exploration and application of the psychology of close relationships. Please post your written assignments to the appropriate Dropbox on the course website by the date due. Written assignment grades will be reduced by 10% for each day late. In addition, explicit instructions regarding content and format will be provided for each assignment, and your grade is dependent, in part, upon following these instructions. Extensions will not be permitted except in unusual extenuating circumstances (e.g., loss of a loved one). Ask questions and ask for assistance if you need it: This is important. Teaching is my passion, and it is extremely important to me to make concepts clear and accessible. Therefore, please do not wait or hesitate to ask questions or ask for help. Whenever you ask questions, you give me a rich opportunity to do my job. On Plagarism Dont do it--there are several reasons why its a very bad idea. First, it detracts from a major component of the learning process, which is to develop your ability to engage in a critical, mindful thought process, and to creatively and intelligently generate ideas that are your own. Second, from a purely pragmatic perspective, you are likely to get caught. Plagarism is easier to spot than you might realize, and if you are caught, the consequences are serious and definitely not worth it. Finally, on an ethical level, there is a French proverb that states There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience. Not only is academic dishonesty not worth the loss of knowledge or the risk of getting caught, its also not worth undermining your ethics and dealing with a guilty conscience. Thus, whenever you are referring to someone elses ideas or work, give credit to that person. If you have any doubts, it is always good to err on the side of caution and cite. To help clarify Harvard Extension School's policy on plagarism, it is pasted here for your convenience:

Plagiarism
Plagiarism is the theft of someone elses ideas and work. It is the incorporation of facts, ideas, or specific language that are not common knowledge, are taken from

another source, and are not properly cited. Whether a student copies verbatim or simply rephrases the ideas of another without properly acknowledging the source, the theft is the same. A computer program written as part of the students academic work is, like a paper, expected to be the students original work and subject to the same standards of representation. In the preparation of work submitted to meet course, program, or school requirements, whether a draft or a final version of a paper, project, takehome exam, computer program, placement exam, application essay, oral presentation, or other work, students must take great care to distinguish their own ideas and language from information derived from sources. Sources include published and unpublished primary and secondary materials, the Internet, and information and opinions of other people.
If you would like to learn more about how to properly cite sources, write assignments, or about Harvards policy on academic dishonesty, you can refer to the following links: Harvard Guide to Using Sources: http://usingsources.fas.harvard.edu/icb/icb.do Harvard Extension School's Career and Academic Resource Center's guide on the proper use of sources: http://www.extension.harvard.edu/resources/career-academic-resourcecenter/plagiarism-proper-use-sources Harvard Extension School's Writing Center: http://www.extension.harvard.edu/resources/writing-center

Cell Phones and Laptops If you attend the class live, please show common courtesy to your fellow students and turn off your cell phones when you arrive (or, ideally, just prior to arriving at class). You may bring a laptop with you to class if it helps you to take notes. Regardless of whether you attend class in person or online, as enjoyable as things like solitaire, online Mahjong, and Facebook may be, they are not intended for use during class. Any non-class related computer activity will serve as a distraction to your fellow students, and at minimum it will not give you a chance to fully learn from the lecture and discussions, which will undermine your experience in the class.

Food You may bring food and drinks to class if you plan to attend in person, but please remember to take any food or drink items with you when you leave. Course Requirements and Grading Writing Assignments: There are five writing assignments due throughout the semester. These assignments are intended to enhance your ability to formulate an original argument, to test your ideas against the scientific literature, to summarize others' arguements and theories, to support or counter a position using research findings, and to incorporate relevant theories and concepts. In all writing assignments, you will want to make an argument and engage in a critical analysis of scientific research and theoretical concepts to support your claims, as well as to consider counter arguments whenever relevant. The first writing assignment will not be graded to remove any pressure you may be feeling, and to enhance your learning experience and ability to explore in your writing. Three of these assignments will involve separate topics pertaining to material covered in class. As this is a writing intensive course, you will also have opportunities to develop your writing skills by incorporating writing feedback you receive on two of your writing assignments and improving upon those papers. I will give you more detailed instructions during the class. An overview of short assignments is as follows: Paper 1: A Friend Indeed (5% for turning it in; no grade for the writing itself): Arguably, friendships play a crucial role in life quality for many people. Please use an example of a friend in your life, either a current or past friend. What makes this person someone who you consider a friend? How has your friendship developed/changed over time? Please integrate relevant readings, theories, and topics raised in readings and lecture to support your description of the development of your friendship and the factors that support your friendship. Paper length: 5 pages. Due date: October 7, 2013 Paper 2: First Rewrite (20%): Please rewrite "A Friend Indeed," based on the feedback you received from your teaching fellow. Feel free to expand upon your ideas and change them as you work with the topic. Due date: October 28, 2013 Paper 3: Relationships in Pop Culture: Music and Movies (20%): We can learn a great deal about cultural expectations and beliefs about relationships from the ways in which they are portrayed in entertainment mediums such as music, television shows, and film. Please consider a song, television show, or film and evaluate the message being conveyed about relationships. What myths or cultural beliefs and expectations are being transmitted? Do expectations differ for different groups of people, or do they apply toward everyone? Does the message indicate what will happen if these expectations are not met? Is there another possible interpretation, grounded in research findings or theory, of the message being conveyed in the song, television show, or film you selected? of Support your analyses with concepts drawn from readings and class discussion. Paper length: 5 pages. Due date: November 11, 2013

Paper 4: Couples Therapist (20%): Imagine that you are a couples therapist and you are meeting with a couple for the first time. After they give you informed consent to treat them, they describe what brought them in to therapy. You will have the perspective of each member of the couple to consider (I will provide this when I give you the assignment). Based on what each person told you, consider the following: (1) What is the primary problem bringing this couple into therapy? (2) What factors may be exacerbating the problem? (3) What might the couple do (if anything) to ameliorate the problem? (4) What would be your recommendations for this couple? Be sure to reference concepts and/or findings from the reading and class discussion. Paper length is 5 pages. Due date: November 25, 2013 Paper 5: Second Rewrite (20%): Choose one of the last two papers you have written (i.e., "Relationships in Pop Culture," and "Couples Therapist") and rewrite it based on the feedback you received from your teaching fellow. Feel free to expand upon your ideas and change them as you work with the topic. Due date: December 16, 2013

Summary of Assignment Due Dates *A Friend Indeed: October 7, 2013 *Rewrite of A Friend Indeed: October 28, 2013 *Relationships in Pop Culture: Music, TV and Movies: November 11, 2013 *Couples Therapist: November 25, 2013 *Rewrite of either Relationships in Music, TV, and Movies : December 16, 2013 Individual Conference to Discuss Writing (10%): This writing intensive course will give you an exciting opportunity to develop and improve your skills as a writer. Toward this end, one of the course requirements of a writing intensive course is to have an individual discussion with your teaching fellow to discuss feedback about your writing, either in person, over the phone, or electronically. Participation in Discussion Boards and Webinars (5%): On a weekly basis, you will be required to post a comment or a question on the class discussion board by Monday of each week, and to post a reply to another student by Wednesday of each week. The dates of the webinars will be determined, and you will be notified at least one week in advance of a scheduled webinar, which will be held in place of a discussion board comment.

Academic Accommodations If you need academic adjustments or accommodations, please show me your letter from the Accessible Education Office (AEO) and speak with me by the end of the second week of the term, Seeptember 20, 2013. Failure to do so may result in an inability to respond in a timely manner. All discussions will remain confidential, although AEO may be consulted to discuss appropriate implementation. Enrollment Eligibility: Both undergraduate students and graduate students may register for this course. Required course materials All of the course readings will be available on the course website, or through electronic download through the Hollis system. You are responsible for reading the articles for the week prior to that week of class. Dates/Topic/Readings: WEEK 1 (September 9) : Introduction to the Course and Discussion of Issues in Relationship Research: No readings WEEK 2 Readings (September 16): Interpersonal Attraction and Liking Dai, X., Dong, P., & Jia, J.S. (2013, May 13). When does playing hard to get increase romantic attraction? Journal of Experimental Social Psychology: General. Advance online publication. doi: 10.1037/a0032989 Lehr, A.T., Geher, G. (2006). Differential effects of reciprocity and attitude similarity across long versus short term mating contexts. The Journal of Social Psychology, 146, 423-439. Pazda, A.D., Elliot, A.J., & Greitemeyer, T. (2012). Sexy red: Perceived sexual receptivity mediates the red-attraction relation in men viewing women. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 48, 787-790. WEEK 3 Readings (September 23): Relationships and Self: Self-Disclosure and Self Concept Reis, H.T., Smith, S.M., Carmichael, C.L., Caprariello, P.A., Tsai, F., Rodriguez, A., & Maniaci, M.R. (2010). Are you happy for me? How sharing positive events with

others provides personal and interpersonal benefits. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 99, 311-329. Gable, S.L., Gonzaga, G.C., Strachman, A. (2006). Will you be there for me when things go right? Supportive responses to positive event disclosures. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91, 904-917. Canvello, A., & Crocker, J. (2011). Interpersonal goals, others' regard for the self, and self-esteem: The paradoxical consequences of self-image and compassionate goals. European Journal of Social Psychology, 41, 422-434. Forest, A.L., & Wood, J.V. (2012). When social networking is not working:Individuals with low self-esteem recognize but do not reap the benefits of self-disclosure on Facebook. Psychological Science, 23, 295-302.

WEEK 4 Readings (September 30): Friendship Bleske-Rechek, A., Somers, E., Micke, C., Erickson, L., Matteson, L., Stocco, C., Schumacher, B., & Ritchie, L. (2012). Benefit or burden? Attraction in cross-sex friendship. Journal of Personal and Social Relationships, 29, 569-596. Williams, C.T., & Johnson, L.R. (2011). Why cant we be friends?: Multicultural attitudes and friendships with international students. International Journal of Intercultural Relations, 35, 41-48. Mattingly, B.A., Oswald, D.L., & Clark, E.M. (2011). An examination of relational-interdependent self-construal, communal strength, and pro-relationship behaviors in friendships. Personality and Individual Differences, 50, 1243-1248. WEEK 5 Readings (October 7): Emotion, Attachment, and Close Relationships Impett, E.A., Kogan, A., English, T., John, O., Oveis, C., Gordon, A.M., & Keltner, D. (2012). Suppression sours sacrifice: Emotional and relational costs of suppressing emotions in romantic relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 38, 707-720. Schneiderman, I., Zilberstein-Kra, Y., Leckman, J.L., & Feldman, R. (2011). Love alters reactivity to emotions. Emotion, 11, 1314-1321. Joel, S., MacDonald, G., & Plaks, J.E. (2012). Attachment anxiety uniquely predicts regret proneness in close relationship contexts. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 3, 348-355. Cox, C.R., & Arndt, J. (2012). How sweet it is to be loved by you: The role of perceived regard in the terror management of close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 102, 616-632.

WEEK 6 Readings (October 21): Romantic Love Acevedo, B.P., & Aron, A. (2009). Does a long-term relationship kill romantic love? Review of General Psychology, 13, 59-65. Lundstrom, J.N., & Jones-Gotman, M. (2009). Romantic love modulates womens identification of mens body odors. Hormones and Behavior, 55, 280-284. Swami, V., Stieger, S., Haubner, T., Voracek, M., & Furnham, A. (2009). Evaluating the physical attractiveness of oneself and ones romantic partner: Individual and relationship correlates of the love-is-blind bias. Journal of Individual Differences, 30, 35-43. Jamison, T.B., & Proulx, C.M. (2013). Stayovers in emerging adulthood: Who stays over and why? Personal Relationships, 20, 155-169. Sprecher, S. (1999). I love you more today than yesterday: Romantic partners perceptions of changes in love and related affect over time. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76, 46-53.

WEEK 7 Readings (October 28): Sexuality and Relationships Mongeau, P.A., Knight, K., Williams, J., Eden, J., & Shaw, C. (2013). Identifying and explicating variations among friends with benefits relationships. Journal of Sex Research, 50, 37-47. Heiman, J.R., Long, J.S., Smith, S.N., Fisher, W.A., Sand, M.S., & Rosen, R.C. (2011). Sexual satisfaction and relationship happiness in midlife and older couples in five countries. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40, 741-753. Anderson, M., Kunkel, A., & Dennis, M.R. (2011). Lets (not) talk about that: Bridging the past sexual experiences taboo to build healthy romantic relationships. Journal of Sex Research, 48, 381-391. Rehman, U.S., Rellini, A.H., Fallis, E. (2011). The importance of sexual self disclosure to sexual satisfaction and functioning in committed relationships. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 8, 3108-3115. WEEK 8 Readings (November 4): Relationship Communication Ackerman, J.M., Griskevicius, V., & Li, N.P. (2011). Let's get serious: Communicating commitment in romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal

Relationships, 100, 1079-1094. Thompson, E.H., & Hampton, J.A. (2011). The effect of relationship status on communicating emotions through touch. Cognition and Emotion, 25, 295-306. Markman, H.J., Rhoades, G.K., Stanley, S.M., Ragan, E.P., & Whitton, S.W. (2010). The premarital communication roots of marital distress and divorce: The first five years of marriage. Journal of Family Psychology, 24, 289-298. Bello, R.S., Brandau-Brown, F.E., Zhang, S., Ragsdale, D.J. (2010). Verbal and nonverbal methods for expressing appreciation in friendships and romantic relationships: A cross-cultural comparison. International Journal of Intercultural Relations, 34, 294-302.

WEEK 9 Readings (November 11): Conflict, Jealousy, Infidelity, and Aggression Salvatore, J.E., Kuo, S.I., Steele, R.D., Simpson, J.A., Collins, W.A. (2011).Recovering from conflict in romantic relationships: A developmental perspective. Psychological Science, 22, 376-383. Scheinkman, M., & Werneck, D. (2010). Disarming jealousy in couples relationships: A multidimensional approach. Family Process, 49, 486-502. Hall, J.H., & Fincham, F.D. (2009). Psychological distress: Precursor or consequence of dating infidelity? Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 35, 143-159. Coyne, S.M., Nelson, D.A., Graham-Kevan, N., Tew, E., Meng, K.N., & Olsen, J.A. (2011). Media depictions of physical and relational aggression: Connections with aggression in young adults romantic relationships. Aggressive Behavior, 37, 5662.. WEEK 10 Readings (November 18): Breaking up and Divorce Boelen, P.A., & Reijntjes, A. (2009). Negative cognitions in emotional problems following romantic relationship break-ups. Stress and Health: Journal of the International Society for the Investigation of Stress, 25, 11-19.

Rhoades, G.K., Kamp Dush, C.M., Atkins, D.C., Stanley, S.M., Markman, H.J. (2011). Breaking up is hard to do: The impact of unmarried relationship dissolution on mental health and life satisfaction. Journal of Family Psychology, 25, 366-374. Fagundes, C.P. (2011). Implicit negative evaluations about ex-partner predicts break-up adjustment: The brighter side of dark cognitions. Cognition and Emotion, 25, 164-173. Lavner, J.A., Bradbury, T.N., & Karney, B.R. (2012). Incremental change or initial differences? Testing two models of marital deterioration. Journal of Family Psychology, 26, 606-616. WEEK 11 Readings (November 25): Loss and Bereavement Abakoumkin, G., Stroebe, W., & Stroebe, M. (2010). Does relationship quality moderate the impact of marital bereavement on depressive symptoms? Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 29, 510-526. Ong, A.D., Fuller-Rowell, T.E., & Bonanno, G.A. (2010). Prospective predictors of positive emotions following spousal loss. Psychology and Aging, 25, 653-660. van der Houwen, K., Stroebe, M., Schut, H., & Stroebe, W. (2010). Mediating processes in bereavement: The role of rumination, threatening grief interpretations, and deliberate grief avoidance. Social Science & Medicine, 71, 1669-1676. Stroebe, M.S., Abakoumkin, G., Stroebe, W., & Schut, H. (2012). Continuing bonds in adjustment to bereavement: Impact of abrupt versus gradual separation. Personal Relationships, 19, 255-266.

WEEK 12 Readings (December 2): Relationship Maintenance, Satisfaction, and Thriving Linardatos, L., & Lydon, J.E. (2011). Relationship-specific identification and spontaneous relationship maintenance processes. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 104, 737-753. Gordon, A.M., Impett, E.A., Kogan, A., Oveis, C., & Keltner, D. (2012). To have and to hold: Gratitude promotes relationship maintenance in intimate bonds.

Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 103, 257-274.

van Steenbergen, E.F., Kluwer, E.S., & Karney, B.R. (2011). Workload and the trajectory of marital satisfaction in newlyweds: Job satisfaction, gender, and parental status as moderators. Journal of Family Psychology, 25, 345-355. Clark, M.S., Lemay, E.P., Jr. (2010). Ways of giving benefits in marriage: Norm use, relationship satisfaction, and attachment-related variability. Psychological Science, 21, 944-951. WEEK 13 Readings (December 9): Social Support, Coping, and Health Overall, N.C., Fletcher, G.J.O., & Simpson, J.A. (2010). Helping each other grow: Romantic partner support, self-improvement, and relationship quality. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 36, 1496-1513. Randall, A.K., & Bodenmann, G. (2009). The role of stress on close relationships and marital satisfaction. Clinical Psychology Review, 29, 105-115. Kouvonen, A., Stafford, M., De Vogil, R., Shipley, M.J., Marmot, M.G., Cox, T., Vahtera, J., Vaananen, A., Heponiemi, T., Singh-Manoux, A., & Kivimaki, M. (2011). Negative aspects of close relationships as a predictor of increased body mass index and waist circumference: The Whitehall II study. American Journal of Public Health, 101, 1474-1480. Stadler, G., Snyder, K.A., Horn, A.B., Shrout, P.E., Bolger, N.P. (2012). Close relationships and health in daily life: A review and empirical data on intimacy and somatic symptoms. Psychosomatic Medicine, 74, 398-409.

WEEK 14 Readings (December 16): Positive Psychology Fingerman, K.L., & Charles, S.T. (2010). It takes two to tango: Why older people have the best relationships. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 19, 172-176. Veldorale-Brogan, A., Bradford, K., & Vail, A. (2010). Marital virtues and their relationship to individual functioning, communication, and relationship adjustment. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 5, 281-293. Diener, E., & Oishi, S. (2005). The nonobvious social psychology of happiness. Psychological Inquiry, 16, 162-167.

Diener, E., & Seligman, M.E.P. (2002). Very happy people. Psychological Science, 13, 81-84 McConnell, A.R., Brown, C.M., Shoda, T.M., Stayton, L.E., & Martin, C.E. (2011, July 4). Friends with benefits: On the positive consequences of pet ownership. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 101, 1239-1252. Suggested additional reading If you are interested in learning more about the psychology of relationships, there are a few excellent books in press: 1) Hendrick, C.A., & Hendrick, S.S. (Eds.). (2000). Close Relationships: A Sourcebook. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications. Miller, R. S., & Perlman, D. (2009). Intimate relationships. New York: McGraw-Hill. Regan, P.C. (2011). Close Relationships. New York: Routledge. Reis, H. T., & Rusbult, C. E. (Eds.). (2004). Close relationships: Key readings. New York: Psychology Press.