My peers helped me improve my paper by telling me to add more detail after my introductory paragraph that relates to my personal experience

and that of other people and I did this by talking about my positive experience when I joined a club and that of my friends. Another important hint that I was given by my peers was how to improve the structure of my paper. My strengths in this paper was being able to incorporate my own personal experience with my roommates club and my general experience with clubs at UNCC. I talked about how my friend improved his football skills by joining the leagues his freshman and sophomore year and I talked about my personal accounts with the makers club and m28. Comments that were not helpful are like not talking too much about the makers club as my introductory paragraph but I think that was a good way to introduce the paper and later get into why joining a club is a good thing for any student. The main attention of my paper is the data that is given from personal experience and from sources that proves that joining clubs will always be beneficial to any student. The main purpose of the paper is to motivate any student to do so and I think it would be a helpful paper for any student considering joining a club to read it especially those that are trying to improve their college experience. My weakness can be the fact that I have a lot of detail but not much room to talk without the detail and explain my purpose. Another weakness is that maybe my structure should have been better to make the paper more appealing and also give account to more ways to go above and beyond. I also wasnt able to find that many sources from JSTOR and if I was to notify my professor earlier then maybe the flow of the paper would have been better or I would had to find a different topic but that is one of the weaknesses. My peers also commented how I could use this paper to promote the makers club possibly in a visual way but I didnt do that but just promoted through detail. Another weakness is that some of the sources I had didnt strongly relate to my topic. One of them talked about the success of college students at a certain university and the dropout rates and how to be successful which wasnt extremely affiliated with my topic but it did relate a bit because I used this as a way that joining clubs provides a positive experience for a student and could be prevent this or simply aid in their success. The reason that the main attention of the paper is the data is because this is what proves that doing such an act is definitely an easy of way for any student to increase their college satisfaction and become more involved rather than just academically.