5 Pillar Class Writing Workshop #1 November 2013

(Writing compilations)

Table of Contents

Ending the Consequential Shadows... by Trent Duncan

Families Were Made To Cling Together.. by Deanna Householder

Follow The Drinking Gourd.. by Dawnell McLaws

My Blessed Day. by Laura Carpenter

My Mission.. by Staci Anderson

Paper 1.. by Becky Pulsipher

Parenting Approaches.. by Leah Spencer

Sympathy and Compassion by Laree Duncan

The Chosen by Brenda Kollett

Who Am I. by Valerie Richards

Ending the Consequential Shadows

by Trent Duncan

"Ending the Consequential Shadows" The following are a collection of my personal thoughts. Really, they are based on an observation, one of those "life" observations. The original thought came to me at a young age. It was here that I learned for the first time via my mother, just what kind of a family my father was raised in. She told me a story about when my parents were engaged. My father had told her that his dad was an abusive alcoholic. My mother was in disbelief, and so my dad said that he would show her. One night my dad hid my mother behind a set of curtains at his house. His father walked in the door drunk, and he began to verbally assault my dad. My mother stopped the story there. I recall being emotionally neutral, and unstirred by the idea of what happened in that moment, as she expressed her great sorrow on the matter. I often reflect on this key first moment of when I realized that all people were not raised the same. I would actually not really be able to draw strength from this thought until later in life. To be honest, I hope the lesson is not complete, and I can continue to grow more. In the following years after my mother told this story, I grew with a hard heart. I think her intention was to spark a fire of forgiveness and tolerance for my fathers own shortcomings. Maybe she was trying to teach me of the Atonement, maybe she was afraid of the consequential shadows that come with repeating cycles. Now as an adult, I see life through a different set of eyes. I ask myself if I am giving my children a fair chance to capitalize on their free agency? I recently took a trip to visit my wife's family in Rapid City, SD. There we visited with her sister who 7 years ago adopted 4 children. All of these children are afflicted with great challenges. One in particular, the only boy, was abused in every possible way. It lead to a discussion with my brother in law about how much we are held accountable for. If a child is morally bankrupted even before the age of accountability then how is he to blame for acting out all that he knows? I am no stranger to free agency, but what of those who never had it. The conversation with my brother-in -law caused me to relate to the tale of the two fathers portrayed in "The Chosen". In that book I felt like Reuven's dad was a great father. He took time to listen, gave careful instruction, and was calculated and patient. Danny's father, on the other hand, come across at first like a mentally abusive man recycling the teaching process of his own father. In the end, I felt like Reb, although falling short in his fatherly duties in some areas , did his best to extend on what he knew, even though he felt it was a great responsibility. In little ways he ended the cycle. He knew Danny was going to the library, he let Danny out of his inherited responsibilities, and excepted the fact that great changes would take place when he left for school. In short, despite his personal beliefs, and the time it took, he allowed Danny to spread his wings and fly. I think all of us should look very hard at our own lives. I think it is our responsibility to break these bad cycles. I know that if we can, and if we do, the reward will be great for all, and not just for ourselves. I know that I must do this, for the problems of future generations must be eclipsed today. Written by Trent Duncan

Families Were Made To Cling Together

by Deanna Householder

Families Were Made to Cling Together

By Deanna Householder November 4, 2013

I have a family here on earth, they are so good to me. I want to share my life with them for all eternity. So goes the familiar Primary song that probably every young child knows by heart. Im sure Ruth Stanton, in the book Laddie, by Gene Stratton Porter, had no idea how eternally true the following words were that she uttered to her emotionally charged daughter Shelley. Families were made to cling together, and stand by each other in every circumstance of life joy or sorrow. Of course you need your family.

As I read this, the depth of its truth permeated my spirit, and I was filled with gratitude that I was blessed with a family that clung together through difficult times, such as when my mother passed away, but also through the joyful times: marriages, mission farewells and homecomings, etc. I have also been blessed to marry into a family that clings together. Sometimes I dont think I really appreciate enough or comprehend how blessed I am that there is no family drama in either Shawns or my family. There are no feuds, chips on shoulders or vendettas against another.

Another family I feel grateful for is the gospel family or the Family of the Church. If you have ever moved from one place to another, you have experienced the social safety net of the church. Wherever you go, there are church family members with whom you can cling together. I dont know how people of other faiths make such transitions without feeling a lot of initial loneliness or frustration. Of course, you need your church family!

I sorrow for those in this world, who feel no desire to cling to anyone in their family because of prideful hearts and unwillingess to forgive or be forgiven. Or, for those who want to be clung to, but are denied such a blessing because of the selfish hearts of others.

It is a thought provoking truth that in families, of all relationships we are a part of, it is possible to have the most intense emotions that run opposite of each other (and everything in between) such as: love or hate; misery or joy; discord or unity; apathy or desire; disapproval or support. And it is even further interesting to note that the very first mortal family on the earth suffered from such extreme opposites of emotion as evidenced in the relationship between Cain and Abel. Yet, go one step generationally up the line, and even our Eternal Father in Heaven had such opposites manifest eternally in his own beloved sons: Lucifer, the Author of Hate, and Jesus Christ, the Author of Love. Truly, warring hearts in families have been part of mans history since the Premortal days of our spirits. And, if such hearts are manifest in our own families here on earth, we need not feel that we are misunderstood by God, our Heavenly Father! What a comfort to know that He KNOWS exactly what that feels like! There is not anything about our earthly experience in families which He truly does not understand or with such He cannot empathize.

Of course you need your family! Families are the backbone, the very foundation of earthly society and Eternity. And, it is because of the First Family Feud in Heaven that we must fight so diligently to cling together on earth. The battle continues for our individual souls, for our eternal family relationships and will not cease until Satan is ultimately bound, to be freed no more. We were present during the First War and we are fighting in the Present War now. It is in essence, the same battle, but just a different location, where we pass through every circumstance of life joy or sorrow. And as we pass through these circumstances, we must choose as families to cling together, and stand by each other no matter what the outcome, if with all our hearts, we desire to share my life with them through all eternity.

Follow The Drinking Gourd

by Dawnell McLaws

Follow the Drinking Gourd November 5, 2013 Dawnell McLaws

Its dark when I go to the track. The crisp morning air feels good on my face. As I begin my first lap I look up, every time. I know exactly where it is. Toward the end of the track, a little to the left. The Drinking Gourd. The Big Dipper. I hear the song in my mind: Follow the drinking gourd. Theres a legend around this song, saying it was a map song used by slaves to find their way north by following the drinking gourd. True or not, I like the message: Look to the heavens. Look to the light that is constant, that shines bright against a dark sky. Harriet Tubman, a slave born in 1820, earned the nickname of Moses because she led hundreds of slaves to freedom. She risked everything, again and again, to rescue. Surely the drinking gourd helped her navigate the way through the dark nights. Recently Ive contemplated the many stories in the Book of Mormon that tell of bondage and escape. Lehi escapes from Jerusalem with his family into an unfriendly wilderness. Nephi and his followers flee for their lives from his brothers. Alma flees from King Noah, and his followers eventually must flee from bondage. The people of Limhi flee from bondage. Captain Moroni frees his people. When theyve looked to the Lord, Hes opened a way for them to escape. It took effort for Lehi and his family to leave Jerusalem. They completely changed their lifestyle. Alma faced severe persecution from former priests of the wicked King Noah. Limhis people werent freed immediately but the Lord eased their burdens, that they could not feel them upon [their] backs. (Mosiah 24:14) Because this book was written for our day, surely there is symbolism in these stories. So many in our world are in bondageto substances, behaviors, false ideas and philosophies. A living prophet has urged us to reach out and rescue. Am I about my Fathers business? The Savior tells us, I am the light which shineth in darkness (D&C 6:21) I need to help others hear His message and feel His love. Look unto me in every thought, doubt not, fear not. (D&C 6:36) I need to have faith that He will help me do His work. How many lost souls has the drinking gourd shone down upon? How many lost souls has the Savior looked down upon, yearning for someone like Harriet to come to the rescue?

My Blessed Day
by Laura Carpenter

My Blessed Day Ive been told to count my blessings And tonight I really should For today was hard and gloomy And thats when I promised that I would. Im grateful for my home And everything inside, A bed, a stove, a comfy couch, And then there are those I pride. I love my family most of all They are my dream come true. Two happy boys, a darling girl, And my loving husband too. I read a book with Jacob And held Tressa on my lap. I talked a lot with Carson And all without a nap. And then theres my sweet Jimmy. He works so hard all day And comes home to help with dishes And then with the kids to play. I have a Mom close by And she calls me just to see What she can do that day to help Shell do anything for me. I have great friends whom I hold dear, Id name them one by one. But Ive been so blessed and it would take so long Ill just say theyre so much fun. Im grateful for my health; My eyes, my ears, my nose. Two legs that work, a healthy heart And everything to my toes.

Today I did my yoga And calmed my frazzled mind. Im grateful for sweet morning hours And the quiet time I find. And in those calm, still moments I read my scriptures too. For its when I think about my God That I can really think things through. And now Ive made my list And I can see that I was wrong Today really was quite wonderful There were good things all along. For you see I know deep in my heart That every day is good. I have Gods love and my family near And thats everything I should.

My Mission
by Staci Anderson

Staci Anderson 5 Pillar Writing Workshop #1 My Mission

November 2013

My mission is to beautify the human soul. Weve all heard the saying that beauty is more than skin deep. That is because who we are on the inside is just as important, if not more important than the outside appearance. Well I believe that pain is more prevalent than what we can see on the surface. There are many people today who suffer in silence. Trapped in a prison of pain and problems, they are unsure how to resolve or ask for help. This pain acts as a cancer of the soul. It may start out small but left unchecked and unresolved it begins to multiply and spread. Soon it can affect the mind, impairing reason and judgment even resulting in mental illnesses of one form or another. Sometimes it breaks ground on the body creating physical problems that stem from the roots of a spiritual sickness. As this spiritual cancer begins to spread and grow it naturally starts to disfigure and darken the soul. It gives life to feelings of discouragement, heightens feelings of anxiety, builds up walls of resentment, and fosters feelings of unkindness towards people and circumstances surrounding them. This type of cancer is like all the other cancers we know about, it has one aim and that is to distort and destroy. Those affected find themselves quite literally in a living hell. Going through the motions of life and yet not really living, not experiencing true joy and happiness from day to day. People like this are all around us we just may not be aware of them. To see some real examples of this we can look to classic literature. For example In Laddie by Gene Stratton Porter, we have Mr. & Mrs. Pryor who are obviously sick over something we really know nothing about until almost the very end of the book. We see the effects of this suffering with Mr. Pryor, as he interacts more with the other characters in the book, he is harsh and cruel. But what of the character of Mrs. Pryor? She is made out as someone high and mighty, too proud to entertain company, a recluse and many other ill assumptions. In The Chosen by Chiam Potock, we have Danny Saunders, a boy being raised in silence, who has thoughts and ideas that are different from the expectations that are placed upon him and which creates a tremendous internal battle of which he can tell no one. That is until he finds a friend in Ruben. Yet that friendship is short lived due to his father. In The Taming of The Shrew by William Shakespeare, we have Katherine who is known by everyone as the Shrew. Known for her ill temper, bad manners and loud mouth she is feared by all around her. She clearly demonstrates one whos spiritual cancer has manifest itself in physical and mental forms. Everyone sees whats obvious on the outside yet only one is able to look beyond and see her soul and thus affect her heart.

Those are three examples in classic literature, yet I have seen examples of this in the lives of those around me even today. I know a widow who still struggles with the torment and the questions which followed the unexplained suicide of her husband. I see it in the life of a young adult caught in the ravenges of mental illness and who is missing out on all the joys of young adulthood. Finally there is the Father whos daughters death has left him bereft and crazy with guilt, sorrow and self distain. So what is the cure? In our literary examples we see some resolutions, brought about through tools that have given relief and helped minimize the cancer. For Mr. & Mrs. Pryor the principal tools of gratitude and generosity surely played a big role. We saw Mr. Pryor generously offer an expensive horse to Leon for a fraction of what it was worth, yet it was all that Leon could afford. That act began to soften Mr. Pryor, yet the cure for both came not until the waves of gratitude were allowed to wash over them, and the feelings of peace began to permeate their souls. This occurred as their deepest fear and pain caused by the misunderstanding of the truth about their only son finally came to light. For Danny it was the tool of truth that finally set him free in many ways. He was finally able to get his father to understand his will and desire to take a different path, and his father was finally able to break the silence and explain what had kept him in that state. Yes, it was truth that cured the cancer in Danny Saunders soul. For Katherine it was love. Yet it was love in a way that few of us can understand. In taming Kate I feel Petruchio was able to see into her soul and love the beautiful girl who was locked up behind the walls of resentment and misunderstanding surrounding her. The power of love can cure most anything. In this case it most certainly cured Kate. So what about the widow, young adult and father? Their stories are still waiting to be told as they have yet to unfold in the course of healing. Yet one thing is certain it will be the cause of true principles that will most assuredly bring the cure and the author of true principles which is God who is the true Master Physician, for He alone knows how to use all the tools to heal His children. So what does all of this have to do with my mission, and why have I shared these tales? Because it is often through another person that God meets our needs. For the Pryors it was their son and the truth about him which led to the feelings of deepest gratitude. For Danny it was his friend Ruben who was the catalyst for the truth to be told. For Katherine it was Petruchio who provided the instrument of love which healed her heart. I too see myself as an instrument in Gods hands to shine the light of truth for others to see more clearly. For it is only in the light that true beauty can grow. That is the beauty I seek to create the holistic beauty of body, mind & soul. And so dear reader I end where I began and boldly state that my mission is to beautify the human soul!

Paper 1
by Becky Pulsipher

I sat in my rocking chair watching the breeze sway our pomegranate tree back and forth as I lulled my 22 month old girl to sleep. My mind flipped back and forth between thoughts of this said tree and how peaceful my busy, rambunctious little girl looked in her tranquil slumber. How angelic she looked and how my hopes for a wonderful life for her seemed to pour out of my eyes as I adored her. And then there was that pomegranate tree beckoning me from the back door. It now looked more like a shrub than a tree. It was nothing like the perfectly manicured pomegranate tree at my grandparents home. When we first moved into this home at the beginning of the year we were so excited to find a wide variety of fruit trees planted and ready for a new year. We could almost taste the Grapefruit, Lemons, artichokes, and of course pomegranates.

Our new excitement had us out tending to the garden everyday weeding, watering, pruning here and there. As spring turned to summer, it got warmer outside and we ventured out less and less. All the while, our excitement still there for the fruit we saw growing. I assumed all was well, the fruit looked good from all that I could see. Finally when the time came, I excitedly went out to the pomegranate tree to snatch one off that the birds had not yet gotten to. Opening this new fruit was a big to do, a family affair. I could barely contain myself as I cut open the fruit. I couldnt wait to pop a deep red, juicy seed into my mouth.

There were plenty of seeds in it all right, but they were not as I had hoped for. They were all brown in color and appeared slightly wrinkled and withered. What, how could this be? I knew that I hadnt pruned the tree as I should have, allowing extra moisture and nutrients to feed little sucker branches all over the plant instead of to the fruit. Maybe, that was the problem? My husband then piped in that maybe he should have watered it more than he did. I had just assumed that it was on the automatic watering line, but alas it wasnt. Our neighbor hearing our disappointment about our sour fruit, piped in, Pomegranates need to be fertilized with extra nutrients.

It has been a lesson learned and every afternoon as I rock my baby to sleep, I cant help but look at the remaining fruit. What promise it held. What promise my baby holds. Oh, how I want the fullness of joys for her and for her brothers. It hits me to my core how badly I desire for them to have all the knowledge, faith, and strength they need to navigate this world, to bear good fruit and be happy. Am I watering them, feeding them temporally and spiritually, helping to cut out the waste and unnecessary? Am I helping them learn to do that for themselves?

I have learned over the past 8 years of parenthood that I cant blindly expect that others will water my children with appropriate knowledge. I cant send them off to be pruned by what has been and could be an improper or misguided gardener. But, I can with help of the wise Sheppard lovingly guide my flock in the right direction. I love how Little Sisters, Mother tells her, Families were made to cling together, and stand by each other in every circumstance of life-joy or sorrow. I hope that for our family. I know that I am still on my own journey to becoming a

I value Little Sisters, Mothers words when she says, We can school our children by educating ourselves before their coming, and with them afterward. Self control, study, work, joy of life, satisfaction with what we have had, never-ending strife to go higher, and do better.

This journey I have been on for just a few short months has awakened my mind. I had dismissed my thinking and growing as unessential and not as valuable as it actually is. Little Sisters Father stated it perfectly, It is all rot about finishing your education. You never do. You learn more important things each day and by the time you are old enough to die, you have almost enough sense to know how to live comfortably. I love how the classics have already encouraged me to be better, work harder, and strive to improve. I must if I am to grow as an individual, a mom, and a as a teacher.

To reflect on my fruit, my children, if I am to water them and feed them the essential nutrients for mind, body and soul I must be constantly growing myself. One cannot fetch water from a well that is dry. In The Chosen, David Malter tells his son, A span of a life is nothing. But the man who lives that span, he is something. He can fill that tiny span with meaning, so its quality is immeasurable. A man must fill his life with meaning. I want to give my childrens life meaning and knowledge, so their fruit may be good. ~ Becky Pulsipher

Parenting Approaches
by Leah Spencer

Parenting Approaches By Leah Spencer

I have been impacted by the wide and varied parenting approaches and styles I have been exposed to in my readings the last few months. As a parent of 4, I am keenly aware and veraciously searching for parenting advice. There are so many styles, opinions, approaches that it seems like an all you can eat buffet. I tend to get on sensory overload with so many options. With these many options, I turned to the thought that each one of us are so uniquely and individual that perhaps there must be a need for so many approaches and angles. However, practicing such a wide spectrum from child to child seems inconsistent, and perhaps destructive. It can always be heard among siblings the argument of mom and dad let you do anything you want to, or you get all of the attention. If you consider your own childhood, it can most assuredly be guaranteed you or your siblings felt some inconsistency in your parents approach. In the book, The Chosen, I had been rather disagreeable with the parenting approach Reb Saunders chose for his son, Danny. I could not understand how silence, literally not speaking to your son, would be the best option and how it could possibly produce the outcome he would like. Additionally, after reading the Taming of the Shrew, Baptistas seemingly incongruent, inconsistent and individual treatment of his daughters seemed unfair. As I am trying to teach my children emotional resilience, I have tried to apply the cycle of Healthy Attachments against some of the styles I have been exposed to. The cycle is as follows: Secure base of health attachments Stress of tension happens in the childs life The child reaches out Child seeks relief Attachment happens Emotional Resilience (the child feels stronger each time)

But in Danny and Kates case, they may have learned a different way. When the stressor or tension happens, they have learned not to reach out and seek relief, which would include validation or getting a band aid or a kiss from mom). Rather, they go into an unhealthy cycle where they enter isolation. They then seek a stimulus, or something to relieve stress. IN Dannys case it may have been his books and learning. In Kates case, it may have been her angry outbursts. Reb Saunders wanted his son to go inside and that is probably exactly what he got. Danny went into isolation. Luckily for Danny he had Ruven to help relieve stress. IN this unhealthy attachment cycle, emotional frailty is a result and the perpetuation of it becomes exponential, not just multiplied. In my evaluation, many parenting types, styles and approaches are need because of the varied personalities we are dealing with. I know that our Heavenly Father treats us individually, based on our understanding, capabilities and potential. I do know that a strong foundation of love is our Fathers consistent ingredient. If Dannys father took an unpopular approach or Kates father did not have the know how of how to deal with his daughters, they both loved their children and did the best that they knew how to, with the tools that they had been given. Whether we agree with their approach or not, whether we agree or not with our own parents approach with us, and whether of not we are happy with what we are currently doing with our own children, we must forgive ourselves and others and find consistency in love; the most simple ingredient that unifies all parenting approaches.

Sympathy and Compassion

by Laree Duncan

Sympathy and Compassion By Laree Duncan

Ever since I read Laddie a year ago for the last 5-Pillar class that I started, I knew what I must write my first paper on. I have tried to veer off to other topics, but none has touched me as deeply or been so significant as this was to me.

I read about Leon and his heartbreak, as he learned the horse he had dreamed about and worked with and grew to love would never be his. I read about Shelly, and the heartache she was suffering, feeling alone and unloved and rejected. I saw how these two struggles, these two seemingly unrelated trials, brought two people together as they were able to weep together and one was able to forget herself as she saw someone she loved dearly, hurting, perhaps at that moment, even more than she. Neither understood the other's struggle, but yet both were able to feel a sense of relief in mourning with the other. Shelly was able to completely forget herself as she let all of her own feelings of anguish and despair go and completely dissipate in that moment when she wrapped her arms around her brother and cried with him. And after that moment, she was changed. The book said, "Something seemed to break in her when she cried so with Leon, because he was in trouble." Her trial, her struggle, didn't go away, but was somehow lessened because she was able to forget herself and do as the scriptures tell us to do: "[Be] willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light; [be] willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort." There are so many blessings in following those words that we can never even begin to understand until we have experienced them.

Perhaps this part of the book struck me in such a powerful way because of experiences in my own life. About 3 years ago, our family was going through an extremely stressful time in our lives - One that tested me and tried me to the very core. My husband's construction business was about to go under, we weren't making enough money to support our family and had been forced to live off credit cards for an extended period of time. The cards were all at their limits, we were being sued by multiple entities, our home was in foreclosure, and we had no way of getting the things we needed for our most basic needs. I started having back problems and getting so sick I wouldn't be able to get out of bed for days. More often than not, I was sick and miserable, and when I was well enough to get up, I would cry and wasn't able to function normally. I was depressed and terrified and felt guilt for not being the mom and wife I knew I should be. My husband encouraged me to start running. I had loved running earlier in my life and he hoped it would encourage me to take better care of myself

and perhaps provide a stress relief. A girl in my ward that I knew of, but had never directly spoken to, found out I was running and told me she was looking for a running partner. We became fast friends.

This running, this friendship, and these early morning runs on the canal became my saving grace as I trudged through this "Gethsemane" in my life. I saw my struggle as Shelly did hers; all encompassing and one that would surely defeat me. I allowed myself to feel completely smothered and let Satan turn this trial into so much more than just a financial struggle. I felt my relationship with every single person in my life was in turmoil. I was ashamed about what was happening to us and didn't want to talk about it with anyone. I didn't know how I could possibly get through this. I felt so completely and utterly alone.

Meanwhile, this beloved friend of mine convinced me that we should train for a marathon. This meant that our time together in the mornings was greatly increased. We needed more and more things to talk about to fill the time we were spending together. I, finally, little by little, opened up to her about what was going on in my life and how much I was hurting. It was only after I put my guard down and let her in, that she put her guard down, and let me in. I had no idea how it would change and heal me to talk, and in turn, to listen. To forget about myself for a moment...and listen.

She didn't like to talk about deep things, she said. It left her too vulnerable and she didn't like to cry in front of people. Her husband, whom she had been married to for 10 years had only seen her cry maybe twice. She didn't like to open herself up to anyone. But somehow, she felt like she could talk to me. She told me how 2 years prior, she had left her sister in charge of her 3 small children while she and her husband left to go hike Havasupai, something they had always talked about doing. On their way out of the canyon on day 2 of their trip, she checked her phone to see several missed calls from her father, which was unusual. She immediately knew something was wrong. With shaking hands she called him back, only to find out that her baby, her 12-month-old son, had been strangled in the cords of the blinds that hung next to his crib. He was gone. And she hadn't been there.

She wept and wept and even screamed at times as we ran on that canal together and she poured her heart out. She finally let herself grieve. And in those moments when I embraced her and felt her whole body wrack with sobs...my struggles, my trials...were nothing. And I was forever changed.

I truly understood why The Lord commanded us to bear one another's burdens and to mourn with those who mourn, and to comfort those who stand in need of comfort. Not only does it lighten the burden of the one mourning as they no longer feel so alone and feel a sense of relief in being able to share their struggles with another, but the one who listens...who truly listens, and forgets herself...will never, ever be the same. I believe what this scripture is telling us to do is to have sympathy, the definition being: a concern driven by a switch in viewpoint, from a personal perspective to the perspective of another individual who is in need. When we can switch our viewpoint, when we change our perspective and look through the eyes of another, even for a moment, things start to look a little different in our own lives. We see the bigger picture and realize that life is not just about what we see right in front of us.

I have a testimony that we are given specific trials at specific times in our lives for a purpose. Even if our trial is seemingly unrelated to a trial that a friend or loved one is going through, healing can take place in both hearts as we share experiences, learn sympathy and compassion, and mourn with and comfort, even in our own times of need. We can choose to turn within ourselves and let these trials defeat us, or we can work through them and look for ways of healing, and realize that, more often than not, it is through others that Heavenly Father sends us aid. We must be willing to listen and forget ourselves and let our perspective be enlarged as we learn from not only our own trials, but from others'.

As I read about Shelly and Leon and then recalled this experience in my life, I realized the importance of being able to feel sympathy and compassion and how healing it can be for us to feel these emotions. They are selfless emotions that allow heaven to work miracles in our lives as we let go of our inner struggles and look outside of ourselves and see all the ways that Heavenly Father is trying to help us grow and learn. Shelly's hurt did not go away after her perspective was changed and mine didn't either. But our burden felt lighter as we realized that we were not the only ones hurting. What a world of difference it makes if we can manage to turn our focus outward and let the Lord work His miracles.

The Chosen
by Brenda Kollett

I decided to write my first Five Pillar paper as a journal entry. Everything in my life has been screaming journal, journal, journal, so why not? Welcome to my thoughts:

Sunday, November 03, 2013

A month or so ago I received an email from Cathy Wilhelmsen, a dear, sweet acquaintance in the TJED community. I have had the privilege to work with her and her children in a Commonwealth School in the past and have taken some very inspiring and helpful online classes that she has offered. She is a great leader and inspiration to all of those around her. Her email was an invitation to attend a class called Five Pillar, a LEMI Adult Scholar Class. I have wanted to take this class for some time. I even tried to wiggle my way into a final semester of a class that was in its final semester with my friend, Jennie, but was unsuccessful. It always seemed like it just wasnt the right time, or season for my life, as so many people say, to be in a Five Pillar class. I finally decided that I am kind of tired of people saying there is a season for everything and even more tired of myself buying into it as an excuse for not doing things. If I want something to happen, I have to make it happen. That is what I did! I told myself that there will never be a perfect or good time to take this class. I went back to nursing school three months after having Rigley, why couldnt I do this? So I signed up, paid my $50 and ordered my books. I love ordering books on Amazon and seeing those little brown packages arriveso exciting. I missed the first couple of classes, I think, but I went back and listened to the SAYGOBEDO audio conference, watched the How and Why To Study Shakespeare recording, skimmed through Laddie, because I had already read it and didnt have time to read it again, and attended my first live meeting. What a wonderful discussion and what a great bunch of girls! I couldnt have asked for a better group to spend every Tuesday night with for the next two years. They already feel like my sisterswho knew I would have so many sisters! I missed the next meeting that was online with Angela Baker, another amazing speaker and leader that has so much to offer. Next on my Five Pillar list to read was The Chosen by Chaim Potok and, oh my goodness, I fell in love with that book a few pages in. I was so intrigued by Reuven and Dannys friendship and Reuvens relationship with his father, Professor Malter. I also found myself wondering what it meant to be a Jew and realized I was not at all familiar with the Jewish faith. I would lay in bed at night wondering about it and thinking about the book. At one point, I even thought of loading the kids up and driving to a local synagogue to speak to a Rabbi and find out more. I decided to just stay home and do a little bit of research online. It was easy to learn of Jewish history, but there was always one question that just kept nagging at me, How could they not believe that Jesus Christ was the Messiah, the Savior? Something that my entire life has been built around and is pretty much all I have ever known is just nothing to themhow does that come to be? I found some wonderful articles

on lds.org regarding this subject that helped me to understand a little better, but it still doesnt dismiss that empty feeling I get when I think about. I talked with my friend, Amy Mitchell, who is brilliant when it comes to these things, to anything really, and we started talking about Mary, the mother of Jesus. Mary was raised as a Jew. Jewish law was her life. How did she know that the child she was to give birth to would be the Savior of the World, of all mankind, not just the Jewish nation? We know she was taught by the angel, Gabriel, from the scriptures. In Luke we find an account of the words of the visiting angel Gabriel to Mary as follows: Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women for thou hast found favour with God. And behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name Jesus. And he shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: And he shall reign over the house of Jacob forever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end. (Luke 1:2833.) A few days later, when visiting her cousin Elisabeth (who was soon to become the mother of John the Baptist), Mary said: My soul doth magnify the Lord, And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour. For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed. For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name. He hath holpen his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy; As he spake to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed for ever. (Luke 1:4649, 5455.) Just from these scriptural examples alone, we know that Mary knew a lot...she knew that she and her family were heirs to the throne, but it could not be exercised because the Romans ruled the Jews and Herod was king. She knew her law, her history, and above all Gods law and His plan for her. She had to have been taught by the Holy Spirit most of her life to prepare her for her life to come and to remind her of her premortal life. Yes, her premortal existence! It was one of a very high calling. Elder Bruce R. McConkie of the Council of the Twelve has observed: As there is only one Christ, so there is only one Mary. And as the Father chose the most noble and righteous of all his spirit sons to come into mortality as his Only Begotten in the flesh, so we may confidently conclude that he selected the most worthy and spiritually talented of all his spirit daughters to be the mortal mother of his Eternal Son. (Bruce R. McConkie, Doctrinal New Testament Commentary, Bookcraft, Inc., 1965, vol. 1, p. 85.) Jesus was called and preordained of God, as were prophets, as was Mary. We learn of this in the book of Abraham 3:22-23, Now the Lord had shown unto me, Abraham, the intelligences that were organized before the world was; and among all these there were many of the noble and great ones; And God saw these souls that they were good, and he stood in the midst of them, and he said: These I will make my rulers; for he stood among those that were spirits, and he saw that they were good; and he said unto me: Abraham, thou art one of them; thou wast chosen before thou wast born. How could prophet after prophet have known so much about Mary, even in the Garden of Eden, Mary was alluded to, without her having been pre-ordained? How does all of this relate to me, to my mission on this earth? How can I know more about my premortal life so that I might better fulfill my mission now? What is my personal mission? This is a critical theme in The Chosen. The book follows Danny and Reuven through their young adult life as they each search for their own personal mission. They

each had a different way of looking for it, they each had their own agency. In the book of Romans, the Apostle Paul writes of Gods love for all of His children and extends the hand of salvation to all, yet we do have our agency. How can I ensure that I exercise my free agency in a way that helps me to fulfill my mission and align my life with the principles that I had been taught before I came to this earth? Marys mission was to be the Mother of Jesus Christ. I am a mother to four beautiful, healthy, amazing children. How am I any different than Mary, really? There is only one Savior, Jesus Christ, that is to be sure, but my children ARE important and can make a difference in this world. Why cant my personal mission be that of mother-hood? Why isnt that good enough? I say to the world, it is good enough and it is my mission right now. I have been given a great spiritual example in Mary to prove it. I have also been given the great gift of the Holy Ghost to help me find my way. The Holy Ghost enlarges our minds, our hearts, and our understanding; helps us subdue weaknesses and resist temptation; inspires humility and repentance; guides and protects us in miraculous ways; and gifts us with wisdom, divine encouragement, peace of mind, a desire to change, and the ability to differentiate between the philosophies of men and revealed truth. The Holy Ghost is the minister and messenger of the Father and the Son, and He testifies of both Their glorious, global reality and Their connection to us personally. Without the presence of the Spirit, it is impossible to comprehend our personal mission or to have the reassurance that our course is right. No mortal comfort can duplicate that of the Comforter. (Sheri Dew October 1998 We Are Not Alone). The Holy Spirit is never mentioned in The Chosen and appropriately so, as they were Jewish, but I feel like I can find a great temporal example of the Holy Spirit in this book. Professer Malter, Reuvens father, was always speaking to him in a soft, kind, still voiceencouraging him to make good and righteous choices, leading him down the correct path. Reb Saunders, Dannys father, was trying to teach Danny compassion and to be able to hear and feel the needs of others through years of an ancient Hasidic tradition of silence between him and his son. This too, is a good example of the workings of the Holy Spiritto be quiet, still, and aware of the simple things that go unnoticed in a busy world, that is what is needed to truly be able to hear the Holy Spirit. I am blessed with the ability to pray, if needed every second of every day, even in the middle of the night which is when I do it most, to my Heavenly Father. Alma counseled his son Helaman in the Book of Mormon: Cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever. Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day. This is a direct line of communication between Him and me, a very close, personal and treasured relationship, just like Reuven and his father. They talked, they shared, they loved, no matter what time of day or night it was. Reuvens father was always there to offer advice, to teach, to love, to share. I loved that about this bookit

was so moving. It can also serve as an example for my relationships with my children. I want there to always be a direct line of communication between us. No secrets, nothing held back, always a feeling of love and care and concern. I want them to be able to tell me anything and more importantly for me to be able to feel love toward them and for me to be able to show it when they do tell me something that I dont like or agree with. Reb Saunders was a Hasidic tzaddik and his congregation viewed him as brilliant and compassionate leader. I am blessed with a modern day prophet of God who receives direct revelation for me, whose teachings reflect the will of the Lord. In the Doctrine and Covenants, we learn that What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same (D&C 1:38) I had a wonderful dream about President Monson last night. I dont know for sure what he was asking me to do, but I know that I did it and it brought me more joy than I could ever imagine. I could feel it in my dream and it felt so good. I know with all my heart that God leads His true church through our Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, right now. I love to follow the Prophet for he truly knows the way, Gods way. The Chosen beautifully illustrated the concept of true friendship. Reuven and Danny hated each other, which I believe enabled them to love each other and help each other as deeply as they did in this book. Most of my deep, meaningful, and lasting friendships have come from these same beginnings, minus the baseball. I have learned that sometimes God will speak to me through others, through those that are loyal, trustworthy, honest and seeking greater knowledge. I also know that just as Reuven and Danny spent time together in the library searching and reading book after book for help to know their missions, I too can seek out good books, classics as they are called, and more importantly, the best classic of them all, the scriptures. All of these books can become my true friends as well. Elder Scott counsels, I offer you the Book of Mormon, a precious friend provided by a loving Savior. Within its pages is truth that brings comfort, guidance, peace, and yes, the companionship of other true friends. Between its covers you will find the friendship and worthy example of Nephi, Jacob, Enos, Benjamin, Alma, Ammon, Helaman, Mormon, Moroni, and so many others. They will rekindle courage and mark the path to faith and obedience. They will help you overcome the bitterness and anguish of transgression. More important, all of them, without exception, will lift your vision to the perfect friendour Savior and Redeemer, Jesus the Christ. (Richard G. Scott October 1988 True Friends That Lift) The Chosensuch a wonderful book, so many wonderful things to learn from itI hope and pray that I will be able to work hard, follow the examples I have been given in the scriptures, listen to the Holy Spirit, my Heavenly Father, the Prophet, and my good friends so that I can best do what I have chosen to do and fulfill this earthly mission.

As much as I would like to end there, as it seems like such a proper closing, I cannot leave out the details of our writing workshop given by Sara Brooks, yet another talented and completely amazing woman, and my reading of Shakespeares Taming of the Shrew. Sara taught us about writing for Five Pillar, who the audience will be, using scriptural references, making connections, so many great things. No matter what she is talking about, I like to just sit back and soak it all up like a sponge. Finally, ShakespeareI think I might totally be addicted. The man was brilliant! His understanding of human nature and the way he could manipulate the English language to get his point across is unfathomable. I loved Taming of the Shrew. I found myself laughing out loud, smiling, and children asking, Mommy, tell us what is so funny! Tell us what the book is about! I have always told my husband that for my 40th birthday I want to go to England to tour the lives of Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte, but now I must add William Shakespeare to that list, with The Globe being the first stop! Long sighso much for dreaming, time to check kids temperatures, take care of sick ones, make dinner, and get to reading Romeo and Juliet! Goodbye for now

Who Am I
by Valerie Richards

WHO AM I? By Valarie Richards November 2013 Who am I? Am I a wife, mom, daughter? Am I a woman, a friend, healer, teacher, student? These thoughts have been circulating in my mind for the past year and a half. I have always felt confident in the knowledge that I am a daughter of God. But about a year and a half ago, I came to realize that I didn't know who I was or even who I wanted to be. We were just finalizing the adoption of our youngest son and had made the decision to stop doing foster care, ultimately making the decision to say that our family was complete at two children. This was very difficult for me. I wasnt sure I was ready to say we were done, yet I knew that I, along with my husband, could not do anymore. Then a thought came that hit me like a freight train I had been trying to build our family for probably 15 years. I had spent the majority of my time and efforts toward building our family in some fashion and I realized that I had put on hold many things for myself, including continuing education, all because of some fear that I couldn't be mom and something else at the same time. I had so little understanding about what motherhood entailed. So now that I was done with this long and difficult process to build our family what now? I realized I didn't know myself without that element of trying to have kids. So I reached a crisis point. Then to make matters worse, our family experienced some rather significant trials, including two moves from a place we had been 9 years, taking me further out of my comfort zone and I slipped into a place where I didn't know who I was or what I wanted, or even how to figure it out and move forward. And in the midst of this, we decided to homeschool. Was I crazy? Though I knew we were doing the right thing, it added further confusion to my role. So one day I had enough, and I decided I needed to figure out who I was again and so I started to pray. At first nothing came. I was so confused and lost as to who I was, it took a long time before I could see clearly. But I kept praying and pondering and then I started to read again. I read all kinds of books parenting books, classics, non-classics, scriptures, and books about education. Then I came across You, not them. I knew what that meant, but wasn't sure how to do that for myself. I had spent years putting myself last, so changing this wasn't going to be easy. Now, as I am starting to come out of the dark cloud I have been under, I am beginning to feel that maybe I can be all of those things mother, wife, daughter, woman, friend, teacher and student. Maybe not all at the same time, but as I need and want. The more I read and discuss and now write in my own education, I can see how books can change myself and my outlook and how I deal with my family. I am worrying less about the education of my children, especially since they are so young, and I am focusing on my own learning and my example to them. You, not them is giving me permission to explore my options, do more for me and discover who I am and who I want to be. Am I like Jo in Little Men? Or Little Sister's mother in Laddie? Am I like Reb Saunders? Do I want to be more like them or less like them as a person or as a mom? It is a slow transformation, but I like the person I am becoming.

Am I where I want to be yet? No, but it doesn't bother me anymore, because I know I can work towards ANYTHING I want to be, while still being a mom, a wife, a daughter, a woman. I can be a student AND a teacher AND anything I want all the same time if I want. I am who God created me to be and he has given me that wonderful opportunity to grow and expand and be who I want to be and who he needs me to be! Recently, while pondering who I am and who I am becoming, I was listening to Hilary Weeks, and her song That's Who I am came on. Those words say exactly what I feel about this journey I have been on and that I will continue to be on throughout my life! I can feel myself breathe, really breathe again Gonna let myself dream, truly dream again I won't ever stop trying. This is my story and I'm still writing I'm uncovering strength I've never felt before Theres a fire inside that's never burned before My fears are all dying Its time to spread my wings and start flying It's not about the race It's not how fast I run It's finding out whats inside and who I can become It's all about letting go and holding on It's about taking chances and staying strong This moment is mine and I'm gonna take it Today is a gift and I will embrace it I am strong and I believe that's who I'm meant to be Every step that I take is lifting me higher Every corner I turn the future is brighter I am brave enough to face the storm And still stand That's who I am