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A Course in Metaphors

Volume 1: Making Magic With Words – Using Metaphors to Create Change

Volume 2: Hypnotic Metaphors – The Secret Code of Making Magic Happen with Words

Volume 3: Hypnotic Metaphors of Attraction – Stories that Generate a Burning Desire for Connection and Romantic Passion

Kevin Hogan, Psy.D.

for Connection and Romantic Passion Kevin Hogan, Psy.D. Website: www.kevinhogan.com Always FREE articles on

Website: www.kevinhogan.com Always FREE articles on Influence & Persuasion, NLP, Hypnosis and Creating Wealth!

2003 Kevin Hogan All Rights Reserved

Duplication forbidden without express written permission from the author.

HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF YOUR PROGRAM

Listen to the CDS in this order if you want to gain the most benefit: Volume 1: Making Magic With Words – Using Metaphors to Create Change, Volume 2: Hypnotic Metaphors – The Secret Code of Making Magic Happen with Words, Volume 3 Hypnotic Metaphors of Attraction – Stories that Generate a Burning Desire for Connection and Romantic Passion.

Metaphors are what you use to create new maps in other people’s minds. Metaphors allow you to lay down new neural pathways, new ways of looking at the world.

In Volume 1: Making Magic With Words – Using Metaphors to Create Change, you will learn how to translate metaphors into tools that create new neural pathways, in yourself and in others.

Unlike what everyone else is teaching out there, with this program you will learn how to get into the other person’s brain, find the metaphors they have, and cause change.

Other things you will learn:

How metaphors expose things like racial prejudice.

Find out how and why metaphors have developed based upon your body parts (right on the nose!). Every body part is a metaphor for something else in the environment. Once you know these, you will be able to communicate with others more effectively, and persuade them faster.

Metaphors utilize a map to allow you to gain understanding and make things easier to remember.

This CD will show you how to use metaphors to covertly communicate the messages and beliefs that you want others to believe.

Anybody who needs to persuade, needs to be able to tap into the metaphors in other people’s brains.

Learn the XYZ metaphor formula for mapping into other people’s brains, thus making it easier to gain compliance.

This CD will show you how you determine your entire future by the metaphors you use. Have you made a commitment to finding out the metaphors in the lives of the people around you? If you have, you will succeed. Others are generally not even aware of their own metaphors. But they are easy for you to discover.

In Volume 2: Hypnotic Metaphors – The Secret Code of Making Magic Happen with Words, Kevin takes you through step by step on a metaphorical journey, so that in any situation in life that you’re facing, you’ll be able to use this 10 min. metaphor and access your unconscious mind to find solutions to positive outcomes.

In addition to that, you will discover that there are cultural metaphors that allow us to map from your brain to my brain and that you can use them in communicating with other people and persuading other people. In this CD, Kevin’s going to show you what those are.

Each culture brings its own metaphors into its people’s lives and environments. Make sure you are aware of what those are and how it will affect their attitudes!

You learn how to help other people develop the strength to “climb the mountain”, to “walk the long road ahead of them”. And when you realize that’s how they are thinking of it, and you walk in their world, the metaphors you use trigger off the right neural pathways in their brain, and allow them to make the changes you suggest.

You will also learn:

Kevin is going to show you how to construct a metaphor piece by piece.

Once you have the right metaphors, you will find out once you have the right map, their map, you can show them the obvious solutions to problems because you will be able to communicate metaphorically with them, when, if you would have tried to communicate otherwise, your message would have been rejected outright.

Kevin shows you not only how to write a metaphor , but how to trigger those feelings that you want in real life to happen.

How to take past failures and reframe them with metaphors into successes so that you can share them with yourself and others.

The core pieces of developing your metaphor.

Generally accepted symbols of metaphor, universally understood in the English culture. These are the symbols that will trigger off emotions in the other person.

The 6 Step Formula for constructing a metaphor.

What metaphors people respond best to.

How to use the metaphors people have that cause limited thinking and change them to positive outcomes.

Feature benefit: You get package inserts, which show the basic codes and symbols, for your easy reference.

In Volume 3: Hypnotic Metaphors of Attraction – Stories that Generate a Burning Desire for Connection and Romantic Passion, Kevin starts off by letting you experience his favorite metaphor for success in any situation.

He invites you to use this metaphor for yourself and for creating and weaving stories for other people that will capture their attention and cause those people to look at you in a new light.

One of the key problems with attraction is that people want others to instantly be attracted to them without being vulnerable to hearing “no”. In this metaphor, you will find out sub- consciously in the metaphor, how to send those feelings of rejections downstream, so that you are left powerful and confident to do those things that make others attracted to you.

You will discover a way to leave your fears, concerns, burdens and worries behind. This will make you a more attractive person, as those fears and concerns won’t show through in your behavior.

Kevin will take you on a journey:

Releasing fears Releasing rejections Letting go of concerns you can’t do anything about Learning what attracts others and how to have a sense of personal mastery

You also will learn:

As part of this incredibly detailed metaphor which you get to experience, Kevin will prepare an immune system for your mind and emotions so you will be able to easily take control of each situation by preparing you to know how to respond, physically and mentally in any situation.

Kevin pre-programs chemistry into your next relationship, whether it be business or a personal relationship.

Kevin trains your unconscious mind to help other people fit, as they meet you, into your “keyholes”, so you have a more flexible and wider keyhole and others find you more fascinating and they will want you to be with them, enhancing your attractiveness.

Kevin takes you on a one-hour metaphor that will forever change your life as you listen to this CD frequently to pre-program in your responses to what other people will communicate to you in your life.

This CD should be listened to once per month, to reinforce the subconscious neural pathways created.

So, not only are you going to get the incredibly powerful metaphor that will literally pre-program your emotional and verbal response to all meaningful relationships in the future, you will learn to create metaphors, map into metaphors in other people’s brains, and trigger the emotions and desires you want in their brain, not some random emotions.

You will know how to powerfully cause change after listening to others for only a few minutes.

Again, congratulations on your new program!

Danielle Hendricks www.KevinHogan.com

A Course in Metaphors

Volume 1: Making Magic With Words – Using Metaphors to Create Change

An advanced home study program in changing behavior, learning and reprogramming minds.

Who will benefit from this program? Therapists Salespeople Marketing People People in Relationships Anyone who needs to gain compliance in any situation

What you are going to learn in this course of utilizing metaphors includes almost all new information to you and is nothing like you have ever thought of or learned before. Better: You’re going to see why most people teaching and using metaphor use are impotent (whether in selling, therapy or relationships) and how to avoid the same mistakes they make.

You learn by metaphors.

You think in terms of pictorial metaphors.

You literally determine your happiness (very much unconsciously) by metaphor.

You determine your income by metaphor.

You determine the quality of the person you spend your life with by metaphor.

You determine the quality of that life by metaphor.

…and you determine all that is in control in your future…by metaphor.

I’ve never written about this before because when you get past the simplistic view of metaphors as they are currently taught in the fields of hypnosis and NLP you can get into some waters that are difficult to navigate. I’m going to show you how metaphors work, how to reprogram your mind or anyone else’s with them and I’m going to make it a fairly simple task. The most difficult moment is now, because you are learning what metaphors are and how they work. After understanding is gained today, it becomes much easier!

People in different countries use different metaphors. In order to understand the metaphors you use, the people on the receiving end need to have specialized knowledge of the information you utilize in your metaphors.

Metaphors require specialized knowledge.

Some familiar metaphors you or people you know might use:

“I need to recharge my batteries.”

“Looking out for #1.”

“Give me the green light.”

“He wants me to jump into bed with him on the project.”

“Hit the jackpot.”

“I’ve been spinning so many plates lately.”

“I take the 5 th on this issue.”

“I won’t spill the beans.”

“She’s easy on the eyes.”

“I’ve come out of the closet.”

“My efforts were a drop in the bucket.”

“You got it right on the nose.”

“I drew first blood.”

“His crowning achievement was becoming Prime Minister.”

“A good car can cost an arm and a leg.”

“He stabbed me in the back.”

“Keep your chin up.”

“Take it on the chin.”

“Don’t touch a hair on his head.”

“Strike a chord with someone.”

“Resonate with her.”

“He was a real Judas.”

“It’s the gospel truth.”

“Skyrocket to the top.”

“Out of pocket expenses.”

“You are a heretic.”

“Retreat back into your shell.”

“A friend I’m very close to.”

Where Do Metaphors Come From?

Metaphors commonly come from many different places such as, fighting, government, nature, the animal world, sports, etc. The number one source for short metaphors comes from the human body or anatomy. (head of the house, eye of the needle, eyes are the window of the soul, by the skin of my teeth, on the tip of my tongue, she’s won my heart, get a foothold) The number two source is from the animal world. There is a cluster of other common sources: sports, food, drink, military/war/tactical, buildings, geographical locations, clothing, nautical objects, and religion. These are things that have been with us for thousands of years and are common to most of us and most people around the world.

There are three basic kinds of metaphor – short, mid-length, and the complete story metaphor. An example of the short metaphor is, “Life is hell,” or “Life is a bowl of cherries.”

The slightly longer, mid-term metaphors are those such as, “Easy on the eyes” and “Jump start your brain.”

The complete story metaphor can be a play, a TV show, a story used to influence a group, a speech, etc.

Metaphors should be universal in nature, and map precisely into a person’s own viewpoint.

Metaphors can give us a new and simple “map” to tap into to help us remember what a person is attempting to communicate. The visual picture that is conjured up while saying something such as, “I drew first blood,” enters into the subconscious for a more powerful message.

Metaphors are a powerful “visual” tool to tap into the subconscious mind.

The Different Ways We Learn

There are four ways we learn:

Experience (do it until you succeed) (learn from a model) Our explicit experience gets recorded into implicit memory. (eating satiates your appetite) We also learn by other people’s experience (seeing a speeding car get stopped by a state trooper)

Memetics (through imitation or mimicking) The mother plays peek-a-boo with the child, the child mimics the behavior.

Stories (television, books, motion pictures, storytelling, oral traditions, religious beliefs)

Programming or “fact-based teaching” (school lessons, textbooks, college courses, memorization, what we’re told over and over)

Metaphors have a part in all of the above.

XYZ Metaphor Format

“X is the Y of Z.”

“Necessity is the mother of invention.”

“Elvis is the King of rock and roll.”

“Tiger Woods is the Michael Jordan of golf.”

“James Brown is the godfather of soul.”

EXERCISE: Write down 30 XYZ metaphors.

Metaphors Shape and Rewire the Brain

Metaphors literally shape the brain and they literally determine in large part your view of the world and everything about that world, past, present and future.

Let’s see what I mean with an example:

“The Pope is the Father of the Church.”

The Pope is the Father. That means that if I am Catholic then I must be a child or descendant of some kind of the Pope. THAT means that I have certain attitudes toward parents and the church, which are probably correlated. I may rebel against both or I may be subservient to both.

In your brain there are many associations about the Pope. Perhaps they might be:

Infallible, old man, the boss, speaks for God, tells people how to live.

That picture might look like this at is currently wired in the brain:

Infallible

|

Speaks for God----Pope---- Old man

Tells People how to live

/

/\ / / Speaks for God

\

(We’re pretending that there are five immediate responses to the word Pope in the unconscious mind. There are probably more including powerful emotions.)

In your brain there are many associations about Father. Perhaps they might be:

Provider (or not) for the family, Role model, someone to obey, someone to help you when you really need it, the boss, he doesn’t understand, tells me what to do, loves you.

In your brain there are many associations about the Church. Perhaps they might be:

A building,

a place that is boring, the flock, confession for absolution,

priest,

God’s house,

communion.

Now. With all of the immediate links to the thoughtforms of Pope, Father and Church you can make some assumptions.

You could guess that “Pope” and “Father” have some similarities and some and some areas that don’t seem to overlap. Both tell you what to do. Depending on all of the rest of your programming in your brain, “telling you what to do” could be a stimulus for behaving or rebelling (or some mixture of both). One thing is certain, you have no idea without knowing a lot more information.

KEY POINT! If you were to use a metaphor like this with someone and not know what their programming was or you didn’t lay down programming in their mind before using this metaphor, you will have successfully used a metaphor that could get you the exact opposite response/behavior of what you are hoping to achieve.

You must discover what a person has been primed (predisposed) to respond to prior to utilizing metaphor.

The balance of the metaphor is the Church, and the Popes relationship to it, as father. The same kind of mind map (which is more than a metaphor for what is happening in the brain) can be drawn here.

Your unconscious responses to Father and Church will directly determine your response to the Pope’s communiqué and it will also change your pictures of all three of those stimuli for the future. (If you would rebel against your Father, you would be more likely to rebel against the Pope and more likely to find the Church less appealing, though you MAY find it just as “family like.” Make sense?)

The metaphor, “The Pope is the Father of the Church” is trying to borrow the power of your actual feelings toward your literal Father to create allegiance to the Church. In the days when Fathers were obeyed, not questioned and blindly followed, this was a good strategy for blind obedience to the Church. However in 2003, Fathers more often than not do not have the same dominant power with and over their children. In a large minority of families, the Father doesn’t even play a role.

Is it any wonder the church’s influence wanes today even as the definition of family is being

redefined each decade? Perhaps a coincidence. Perhaps support that culture has it’s own

metaphors that we adopt without thought…

“George Washington is the Father of our Country.”

(If you live in Poland, Singapore or Great Britain…or anywhere other than the United States, you might wonder what the heck I’m saying here! Bear with me.)

George Washington was the first President of the United States. In the same way the Church wants your allegiance the country/government, for many reasons, wants and needs your allegiance.

The need for obedience, devotion, and support again is wrapped up in the Father metaphor. Again, in 2003, we have a plethora of experiences to rebel against the wishes of the Father, and, at the same time, when the chips are down (9/11) we act like a family.

George Washington of course is analogous (read that as metaphorical) to all the other Presidents (in many people’s minds) and therefore the metaphor (may or may not) be useful for creating the desired response in someone’s mind in creating allegiance, loyalty and devotion to the country.

In a time of high patriotism, the Father of the country can have great and potentially powerful impact. The effect of such a halo can positively impact the other Father’s in a country. Literally, someone’s Father is often seen in a better light because the Father of the country (or the Father in the church) is positively experienced. In a time of scandal, the Father of the country can call into account the potential misbehavior (real or imagined) of Fathers throughout a nation. In other words when the President takes part in scandalous behavior, other men who are Father’s (including parents, husbands and priests) will often unwittingly be seen as scandalous.

It seems odd at first glance that you might view your Father differently depending on how you view the President or the Pope, but it is critical to understand that is precisely how the brain is wired.

The Ultimate Example: If your Father was someone you didn’t like or respect, you can assume that the Father of your children will be literally wired into that same network sabotaging a family. The subtle intricacies of the mind are absolutely mind boggling and until you understand the almost instantaneous connections that happen in the brain, you can perceive and misperceive neutral stimulus as a prime for extreme positive or extreme negative beliefs.

Indeed, if this was your Father, and you are a Father, you will have to fight to reconstruct opinions about yourself so you do not replicate those behaviors.

When you take the time to determine how metaphors integrate into our lives, you can change the way you look at yourself, how you think, and how you respond in certain situations, because of the metaphors in your brain, and how experience filters through those pathways in the brain.

You can utilize metaphors to change they way you yourself think, and also to assist others in the process of change. This is a fore-taste of all that will be upcoming in this Course in Metaphors. I look forward to talking with you again in the next CD.

Volume 2: Hypnotic Metaphors – The Secret Code of Making Magic Happen with Words

Secret Codes and Meanings of Symbols

Do you remember the character the Riddler from the Batman series back in the 1960’s? The brilliant actor Frank Gorshin played the character. Gorshin was a master impressionist, and could impersonate almost anyone. You may also remember that Gorshin played a pair of characters on a special episode of Star Trek in the 60’s. On the show, Gorshin portrayed an alien who was half black/half white. His character was painted heavily with make-up, and on half his body, he was black. On the other half of his body, the make-up was white. The twist was that he played another alien in the same show who was half white/half black. What, you say? Isn’t that the same thing? The show was a metaphor for the civil rights movement and race relations in the 60’s, and how blacks were beginning to integrate into society in so many ways. It brought out how foolish the idea of racism was. The show taught the simple concept beautifully. It brought out the simple logic of the concept. Metaphor can be a powerful tool in its simplicity and clarity.

What is a Metaphor?

A metaphor is a story that utilizes symbolism to convey a message to another person so that they

can experience a situation differently than they currently are. Symbolism is used in many ways to convey meaning.

Symbolic Meaning

Just about everything symbolizes something.

A home symbolizes stability. An apartment symbolizes a temporary dwelling. A farm is a lifetime dwelling.

A farm could really be a temporary residence but as we develop categories of understanding in

life we know that some things symbolize other things, thoughts or ideas.

Fit the Message to the Receiver

Metaphors can be most effective when the person listening (or group) understands the metaphor. Telling an American audience a lengthy metaphor about a day in the life of someone who lives

in the Ukraine or wildlife Rwanda is going to be utterly useless in communicating the message to

get the desired outcome.

To tell someone a metaphor that touches their heart or that weaves into their experience, that is another thing altogether. Understand your listener, then construct your metaphor.

Secret Code to Constructing Metaphors

1. Problem – Assess the problem.

2. Desired Outcome – Where do they want to be? What do they want instead?

3. Real Life Obstacles Coming Up

4. Emotions Likely to be Experienced during Obstacles (Depression, Joy, Pride)

5. Emotions to be Experienced in Overcoming these Obstacles

6. Resources Necessary to Overcome these Obstacles

7. People

8. Places

9. Things

10. Feelings – Tiredness, energized, juiced, disappointment, relief.

11. Knowledge

12. Past Experience

13. Duration of Journey in Real Life

14. Probability of Failure and what to do in that Case

15. The Completion

16. The Response of Completion

There are some general symbols that are accepted and mostly understood by many…at least those of the same cult or culture.

A ring on the third finger left hand in the United States is a symbol of commitment to another. Bread taken in a church service, the body of Christ. Color belt in martial arts, the degree of mastery of the art. 6 pointed star is the star of David, the flag of Israel. Cross symbolizes some people’s faith. Ankh symbolizes some people’s belief.

The stock tanked. The business went in the toilet. The business sky rocketed. Time flew by. Time stood still. Boob tube/idiot box. A mountain to climb.

Some are very individual.

Elvis used to give a TCB (Taking Care of Business) or TLC (Tender Loving Care) necklace to the men and women he considered his friends. A mizpah between two friends or lovers.

6-Step Formula for Constructing a Metaphor

Life is a journey

What happens on a journey. Good times Bad times Tough times Easy times You finish and win

Nature

Most people respond well to metaphors of nature.

Mountains: Challenges. Difficult tasks. Easier to trip going down than up. Can slip.

Hills: Not as challenging as a mountain. Easier to climb a hill than a mountain. Prepare.

Water Fall. Incredible force. Powerless against. Beautiful power.

Streams: Shallow, narrow, can see the bottom usually.

River: Wider, deeper. More difficult to see the bottom, except near shore. Stronger current.

Rapids: Deep narrow or wide, fast, danger, risk, uncertainty.

Lakes: Calmer. Fish. Boats.

Ocean: Deepest, most profound, largest wild life, greatest challenges, difficult survival.

Waves: Can bring good and/or cause difficulties. Can batter or can ride the wave.

Fish: Food for all.

Grass: Thick, green, thin, sparse, cared for, untended, “natural.”

Weeds: Take over the grasses, squeeze out the grass/flowers, deep roots, useless to cut.

Paths: Someone has walked this way before! Oft, rarely traversed, beginning/end.

Undercurrent: Unpredictable current that will take you back to the water in ocean/river.

Flowers: Beautify. Bees pollenate. Decorative. Welcome.

Sun: Source of life for our planet. Warms us. Optimism.

Moon: Even at night a light. When it’s dark there is still light.

Stars: Millions of suns. You aren’t alone.

Mars: Anger, Men.

Venus: Sensuality, Women.

Wind: Cools, warms, deters, helps move along, bitter, blows the leaves, moves trees.

Sea Air: Salty.

Warmth: Safe, secure, comfortable.

Cool: Refreshing, relieving.

Too Hot: Intense. Temper, anger.

Too Cold: Frozen, frigid, rigid.

Snow: Beautiful white/pure. More difficult to walk.

Rain: Brings life. Makes difficult travel. Necessary as sun for plant growth.

Storm: Random events. Nature’s most difficult.

Trees: Deep roots, provide shade, green.

Leaves: Change color, fall, provide shade in summer.

Forest: Unknown. Difficult to find way through. Secluded, not traveled much. Quiet.

Parting Clouds: Change.

Urban/Suburban

Lexus/Mercedes/BMW: Luxury cars, they make a statement that I have wealth or wish…

Honda Accord/Toyota Camry: I am conservative. Get the most for my buck.

Adult on Bike: Energy Conscious, Environmentally Conscious.

Walk: Relaxed, calm.

Bus: Lower income transportation.

Highways: Here to there quickly.

Back roads: Slow, scenic, rough road, little traveled.

Skyscraper: Symbolizes wealth, freedom, capitalism.

Statue of Liberty: Freedom.

Pentagon: Defense. The nation’s security.

Fire hydrant: Always there to put out the fires.

Police: Your conscience to keep you in line and protect you against evil.

Pyramid: Mystery on a grand scale.

Ways to get information.

Book Scrolls Tablet Television Computer Screen Dream Magical/fantasy figure Angel Animal

Light Birds fly free Calm Rock Door

Feelings

Fear

Depressed

Anxious

Worried

Excited

Joyous

Rapture

Disgust

Contempt

Irritated

Frustrated

Annoyed

Irked

Happy

Love

Hate

Anger

Sensual

Calm

Content

At Peace

Concerned

Construct a Metaphor

You find yourself in a meadow. A meadow is a nice place to be, the grass is long, the flowers are beautiful today. And over there, you see a stream, and it is moving in the direction of an area that is obscured by the trees, you don’t know quite where it is leading to. But, as you sit here in this meadow, wondering what you should do, whether it’s with your life or anything else, you decide that you will go to the stream, walk along the stream and as you start to walk along the stream, you find yourself enjoying it. It’s calming, it makes you feel good. And you come to this area where the stream sort of turns into a lake. It’s calmer, it’s quiet, and it’s warmer. And right at the end of this beach is a big rock. Twenty feet high. Huge.

And, you actually feel drawn to this rock, it’s almost as if it is welcoming you. And you take off your shoes and socks if you have them on, and you leave them on the beach there. And you walk out in to the water, pulling your pants up a little bit. Going around the rock, onto the beach on the other side. And you notice there is a door into the rock. You walk into the rock. And as you walk into the rock and close the door behind you, you see that it’s still light inside the rock. And you know that that’s not possible because the rock is solid. There is not sunlight, and yet it is light in here. As you walk into the rock you feel welcomed and you feel comfortable in here you feel good. And you look over at what appears to be a wall. A wall of safety deposit boxes. And you look on that wall and you know what they are. You see a key in each of the boxes and you know somehow at some unconscious level, that you can take as many worries and difficulties as you have and place them into the safety deposit boxes and pull out as many keys as you want after locking the problems in these boxes. And they are secure and safe there.

And each of these keys, these gold keys, comes on a ribbon, which you can put around your neck. Because you hold the keys to your problems, don’t you? As you’ve taken off as many problems, and worries and concerns that you have, you put the keys around your neck, realizing that you hold the keys to your problems. And you walk into the rock, into what seems to be a long hallway. As you walk into the hallway, it’s lit all the way down.

There are doors on each side of the hallway. Several doors. Some of the doors are numbered, some have letters. One door has neither. And this time, because you can come back here anytime you want, you open up the door that has neither letters nor numbers, and you walk in.

And because you feel comfortable in this room, which is lit fairly well, you close the door behind you. And there’s a bench over there in the corner. And you sit on the bench and it isn’t long before you see what appears to be a person almost magically, holographically coming toward you in the room. And this person is going to give you something like a scroll or a tablet of paper, or a book. And they are going to ask you to read this scroll, tablet of paper or book, so you can learn something that you already know deep inside of you about what’s important for you to do on your journey. That life journey of yours. And as this magical figure, this person, hands you this most appreciated gift, you look down at the gift and you see what you are supposed to see. The person smiles at you, and walks away, and slowly disappears into the wall, almost as if they walked through the wall.

You ponder the information on the piece of paper or the scroll, the book. And you think about what it means to you and your life and how important it is that you do that. And you may realize that that is what you will do. And the next time you come back into this room, you’ll see if you can get some confirming information, from someone else, perhaps. But for now, you feel good inside. You feel as if you have a sense of direction and a sense of confidence building inside.

So you exit the room, closing the door behind you, leaving everything as it was. Coming back out the hallway, looking at all the doors as you walk. Some have numbers, some have letters. And now you see that some have symbols on them. And these are all doors that you will enter in the future, when you come back here and need help. And as you come up to the main entrance of the rock, you look and you see the safety deposit boxes, and you feel the keys around your neck and you take off a couple of the ribbons, open up some of the boxes and take some of the problems, worries and concerns and put them back into you. And you decide not to take all of them. And instead, leave those keys on a hanger, which is right by the door and will be there when you leave. When you leave you make sure that those keys are secure there, and they are. And you feel a little bit lighter as you walk out from the rock into the sunshine and you see the beautiful lake, you walk out into the lake a little bit around the rock onto the beach on the other side.

And there’s your socks and shoes waiting for you. You put them on, you put your hand up against the rock, and it radiates warmth and comfort to you. And it makes you feel good inside. And somehow you know the rock represents and symbolizes you and all the knowledge and wisdom you have and as you ponder that thought, you walk along the stream, back to the meadow, sitting down on a big rock, not as big as the one you took a tour of, perhaps a few feet wide and a couple of feet tall, rounded, as your feet dry off. And you look off the other way and you see a mountain. And you wonder if what you saw in the rock was the beginning of the journey to the mountain.

This is a 10-minute metaphor. Generally a therapeutic metaphor session should be ideally be 45, 55, 65 minutes. For a sales presentation, it will be shorter.

EXERCISE: Look at the categories and symbols presented in this manual. Write down the symbols you recognized that were used in the sample metaphor.

Tools Used:

EXERCISE: Write a thirty-minute metaphor. Use as many of the tools presented here as you are able. You will need several sheets of paper.

Volume 3: Hypnotic Metaphors of Attraction – Stories that Generate a Burning Desire for Connection and Romantic Passion

The next time your client wants to know what to do to be heard as more attractive, interesting, likable, sensual, and even a bit enticing, this is the CD that you can use to either let him/her listen to in session or you can use it is a template to weave powerful metaphors for connection and attraction.

Two of the 16 core drives of human behavior are for connection (as in friends and community) and sex (including romantic affection). These two behavioral drivers can be effectively woven into the fabric of powerful metaphors to help anyone master their confidence when talking with others. The first metaphor is fairly lengthy and is designed to unhook the most common fears of connecting with others while injecting the fuel of unconscious confidence and certainty into the client for communicating with anyone they might be attracted to. This metaphor is one the client can listen to in your office or home.

The other two metaphors are stories that the client can utilize when talking to that special someone. One metaphor is to be utilized the first time two people meet. The second story is one that is to be used when the person asks for a lunch/dinner/date commitment. These are actual very short metaphorical stories they can use in actual interaction.

Goals:

Unhook fears Install confidence Install certainty Deal with Rejection Communicate clearly Maintain eye contact and stand correctly

Build confidence for connecting and sex. Remember past strengths of asking and getting. Time-line them to the present. Experience asking and failing. Time-line them to the present. Rehearse Pictures of failing and feeling ok. Rehearse Pictures of succeeding and feeling ok

Components of the Metaphor:

Climb the mountain=tenacity Difficult path

Meadow Mountain Rock Come to rock of enlightenment Room 6 – the special room Close eyes Hears strong voice. People are insecure because they haven’t determined what all they have to share with others. Their skills, talents, love, caring, providing, nurturing, richness, all that they bring to a connection

Tells the person that there are numerous kinds of people they’d like to have in their life and in order for them to appear, we must know who they are first. Then we must experience acceptance and denial for the experience to be real. Meanwhile, whether the person can accept you or must deny time with you, you must be likeable, likeable as a fresh cool breeze on a warm day to everyone.

Sincere interest in others looking your best, smiles, lean forward, open posture, vulnerable, eyes direct, air of confidence and not arrogance, yet enough insecurity to be “real”. Knowing that no sometimes means yes at a later date and that sometimes no means no forever because of something out of your control.

1 st person, what they look like, face, neck, hair, eyes, nose, ears, body, their background, how they may have been treated in previous relationships, what they do for a living, career, job,

2 nd person,

3 rd person,

4 th person

5 th person

etc.

Asking for connection. Not a lifetime, just a connection. Random responses. Y/N/Y/N/Y/N etc. The room of meeting. Similar to a hologram. Get whatever fears are left or needed to bring with. Exit rock. Feeling more confident and certain yet wondering what the future may hold. Return from the rock.

Sees someone on the way back, they aren’t on the same path but a parallel path….you shout over to them and ask them to walk with you.

They say yes.

HYPNOTIC METAPHOR FOR ATTRACTION

Allow yourself to sit down, relax. Allow yourself to get just as comfortable as you possibly can, right there. Move around until you’re all set, and just allow yourself to relax, and just enjoy being for a little while. All set? Great.

What I want you to do is close your eyes. As you close your eyes, I want you to feel yourself breathing. Hear yourself breathing. Breathing calmly, normally. And allow your mind to wrap itself around my voice. And today I want you to take a trip with me. It begins in a beautiful meadow.

It’s a warm day, with a cool breeze. The sun is out. It feels good. And somehow you feel comfortable sitting in a meadow. As you look that way you notice that there is a mountain. It’s tall. Not the tallest mountain you’ve ever seen, but it’s big.

As you look the other way you see a stream that leads in a direction that is not toward the mountain, but the other way. You decide that today you’re going to climb a mountain. You get up off of your rock, or off of the ground, the grass, where you were sitting. And at a leisurely pace, you move toward the base of this mountain. You have no backpack, no water supply, no food, nothing. Just trust. And you find a path, and of course a path means that, someone has been this way before. A path means that someone has climbed here before. And you intuitively know that and it makes you feel good and comfortable inside. And you follow the path. As you get on the path, you begin to climb up the left side of the mountain. The path is fairly narrow in places, and there’s lots of trees that almost overcome the path at times. And certainly a lot of brush. The path was certainly used a lot more often some time ago than it is, or has been used recently. And as you climb you notice that sometimes this path goes through trees where they are very, very dense. You look up and you can barely see the sunlight filtering through the branches. But, it is beautiful, very, very beautiful, inviting, and a little scary. And you walk.

Pretty soon, you see a stick. Six feet in height, perfect to be used as a walking stick. And you find it’s nice to use this stick as a walking stick. Sometimes it makes it nice and a little easier to pull yourself up at a difficult point on the climb. You hear birds in the background, sometimes those annoying insects. But most of the time you hear birds. And sometimes quiet. And it feels comforting to know that that path is there. That this is the way that somebody has walked before. It is definitely not grassy on the path. It is a dirt path that has been run over many times.

You turn around the back side of the mountain and it gets steep and you are able to continue to climb and you trip and you scrape your knee, your left knee, and it stings. And you wonder if it’s really worth continuing. And you look down, and you’ve got tinges of red on your knee, and you think, you know, you’re going to do it anyway. And you get back up, scrape off the dirt and you start to walk higher. And you actually have to do a little bit of climbing. You don’t notice the knee hurting quite as much. You continue to climb and go higher. And you find that as you pause on a very safe ledge, of perhaps 8-12 feet, you look out, and it is absolutely breathtaking. You can see that other people, over the years, had stopped here as well, because there’s sort of a little dirt area with rocks. It may have even been used to cook something here, but, whatever, it’s

beautiful. And you look out and you can see there’s a river that just seems to go forever in one direction. And it seems to come from a little lake or a pond in the other direction. And you can see a town way over there on the other side. There’s lots of roads. Lots of roads. You see the roads that lead to another city faroff, and there’s roads that seem to lead into rural areas. And then there’s roads that seem to lead into villages and possibly small towns. And you wonder what that means on your path, your journey today.

And as you ponder those possibilities, you appreciate the fact that you have come this far up the mountain. As you look down you have definitely come up a long way. As you look up, you realize there’s a long way to go to the top.

But, there’s no rule that says you have to go to the top today. After appreciating the beauty of the river, you see the meadow where you started, a village, a rural area. And far, far off, on the other side, a city that many roads lead to. You have appreciated this point, this overlook, and it feels good that you’ve stopped and rested. Your knee’s feeling better now. You hardly even noticed it. And you decide to continue. And as you walk you hear the sound of running water and you continue to walk up the path and just as you turn to the right looking through some trees you see a little waterfall. A very tiny little waterfall, almost something like you might see at Yellowstone or Yosemite or one of those beautiful parks, and it’s only a little 2 foot wide fall, and you go over to it, and you can put your hands right in it. And you put your hands in there. And the water is cold. And you take some of the water and you rub your knee, and you get the rest of the dirt off your knee. And you put your hands back into the water. You cup them together and you take some water and you drink and it tastes so good. Mountain water really is, that stream, that mountain stream type of water is tasty, it tastes good. It’s refreshing. And there is a little path here. You feel refreshed and you feel good, happy. Almost like the water is an elixir of some kind and you remember where this place is. And you mark it in your memory and you turn and you get back on the path and you begin to climb again.

And as you begin to climb, you think of the reasons for this journey as you go higher, and higher and higher. You ascend up the mountain using your stick to steady yourself at times, occasionally looking out through the trees, occasionally pausing at an overlook, but really, simply climbing, higher and higher, realizing that this journey really is a journey. That there really is something to it, it’s not just as easy as it seems. And feeling good about it all at the same time.

And as you turn, and you take another right, because that’s what this path does, as it takes right, after right, after right, going up the mountain in a circular fashion. You find yourself staring right at a huge boulder, 10 feet tall, 5 feet wide, and it’s standing right on it’s end. It’s not laying on it’s wide end. The tall end is in the air, almost impossible that that could be the case. And there’s a shadow behind the rock and it’s almost inviting you to come and look. And it goes into the mountain. And you have come this far. And you almost shrug your shoulders as if someone was there to see you shrug your shoulders. And you walk carefully, no doubt, but surely, into the shadow behind the rock. And the last thing that you see before you go into this very welcoming, comfortable, and a little bit mysterious rock, is that as you look up into where you’re walking, you notice that it’s all dark. But, you can see the light behind you. And as you walk it becomes darker. You’ve come behind the rock, and then, impossibly, there’s a door, with a door handle.

And you realize that you have been invited here. You put your stick into your right hand, and you hold it a little tighter than you probably normally would. With your left hand, you slowly reach out and take the handle into your hand, and you open it. And inside, it’s light. Now that’s not possible. But you go inside and the door quietly closes behind you. And what may have caused fear, about a day ago, creates a stir of excitement, today. And the first thing you notice on the left hand side of this room that you’re in, is that it’s illuminated but there’s no light. There’s no windows, there’s no place for the sun to creep in, there’s no lamps, there’s no lightbulbs, no fires, but it’s illuminated. Now of course you know that’s not possible. But it clearly is illuminated.

And on the left side you notice that there’s what looks like a coat hanger. A coat hanger. And then there is a huge array of boxes, almost like mailboxes that you would see at a post office. Some are big, and some are small. And they all have golden or silver keys in the boxes in locks. And around each of the heads of the key, you see there is a ribbon, a long ribbon, perhaps three or four feet. And so, you look at this entire wall, and there’s a wall of boxes like safety deposit boxes, or mailboxes, all having keys. And, intuitively you know, that this is where you will leave your fears, concerns, burdens, and worries for some period of time. The first thing you do is you go over to one of the bigger boxes at the bottom, and it’s big. And you open it, and you take the key with the ribbon around it, and you place the ribbon around your neck, and it hangs like a necklace, pretty far down, too. Almost around your belly button is where the key rests. And you put into this box, a great deal of trouble. You take out worries, and fears and concerns, anxieties. You just put them right in the box, and you close the door on the box, checking to make sure that it’s locked, and it is. And you know that this key goes to that box.

And then you take a key out of the box right above it, which is a medium size box. It has a shorter ribbon. And you open the box and you take out different kinds of anxieties and worries and fears that you have and you place them in this box. And then you take the ribbon and you put it around your neck and this key hangs down not quite to your belly button, but comes just about to your solar plexus, right there at the bottom of the rib cage.

And then you pick one more box, this one’s pretty high up. And you open it, and you take out some small worries, small concerns, small fears, and you place them in this little tiny box. And you close the door and you lock it. And you take the smaller ribbon with this key and you put it around your neck. And this key rests down on your chest. And you look around and there’s nothing here, but the coat rack. Which, by the way, now that you look at it, has ribbons on some of the rungs. In fact, one of the rungs on the coat rack has, my goodness, there must be fifteen or sixteen ribbons with keys hanging there. Every key having initials on it. You find that rather strange. Oh well, maybe somebody forgot their keys, whoever’s been here. And you turn, and you feel light inside, you feel good. Not only is it light inside of you it’s light on the outside, and as you look you see there’s this long hallway. And you know it’s funny because you’ve been by yourself now this whole time and normally you would feel perhaps lonely or alone, wishing you had company. But you haven’t felt that because this has been such an extraordinary and incredible day of climbing the mountain and finding this mysterious place. An adventure.

And you see this hallway, and as you look down this hallway it’s very very long. It’s not illuminated as brightly as this little entrance area is here, and it is the only hallway, and it goes straight, a straight line. And you walk at a slow pace, examining the hallway as you enter into it. And you turn around, just to make sure that you’re not dreaming this whole thing, and sure enough, there’s the boxes in the illuminated area. Little ones, medium ones, big ones. You see the coat rack with those ribbons with keys on them. Yeah, you’re here. You turn back around and you look down the hallway. You would swear that this hallway goes three blocks, three city blocks. And you start to recognize a pattern that emerges and it reminds you of being in a hotel where there’s doors on every twenty feet or so. And sure enough that’s what there is, there’s doors. You come up to the first door. Oddly enough, it’s door one. There’s nothing attractive or interesting about this door, and you walk past it.

And on the other side and about 15 feet, there’s door two. Now what’s really interesting is that this shouldn’t be here because you were walking on a dirt path in a mountain that you’ve come into a rock, into a door, and this can’t be here. Yet, it is. There’s door three on the left. You don’t have any interest in trying to open that door. Door four, on the right. It’s a little bit brighter now in this part of the hall. Not much, a little bit. There’s door five on the left. You walk past it and here comes door six. As you look at this door, the handle is a bright shiny brass. All the other doors were just, nothing, they weren’t bright, there was nothing inviting about them, but this is door six. And it obviously has beckoned you to come in. There’s a keyhole, but your keys are way too small for this one. And you know that this is where you are to go in, but you have no idea how to get in. You take your hand and you put it down on the door handle, and it opens. Well, there you go, that’s what you should have thought. You’re always wondering, where’s the key? Well the key was that the door wasn’t locked. Who’d have figured that?

You walk in and it’s only slightly illuminated, it’s hard to see and your eyes are adjusting. The door behind you clicks closed, you’re not afraid, though. You think that’s kind of funny though because yesterday you would have been afraid. But today you just feel as if you’re on a bit of an adventure. Oh, sure, your heart’s beating a little bit quicker, but you’re more excited than anything else.

And then you see. There’s a chair against a little table, almost like a desk. On the other side over there in the corner is what appears to be a place to sleep. Not much of a…it’s not even a bed, it’s like a rock that just extends out that’s flat. And then there’s a rock that appears as if it’s there to sit on. And then over there on the left side, there’s what looks like a crate, beckoning you to come over there and you do. And you go, and you sit there, and you close your eyes. And you don’t know why you close your eyes, but you do, you close your eyes because you’re not afraid. And you hear a voice. The voice asks you a question, “What is it that you have to share with one and many?” What is it I have to share with one and many? And the voice repeats, “What is it you have that you can share with one and many?” And you’re perplexed. And you think well, I have a lot of skills and I have a lot of talents. I have a lot of love and I care, I’m great at providing, nurturing. I’m a rich person. I have a lot to connect with other people, for and about. The voice emanates again, “What do you seek? Who do you seek? And why?” And you think, well, I’ve sought that special person. Somebody to connect with and to be with, to enjoy life with. And the voice says, “Draw a picture.” And you can feel your forehead frown while your eyes stay closed. And the voice says, “Draw a picture.” And in your mind comes a picture of someone that you

would like to be with. The picture is rich in detail, the hair, the eyes, the nose, the cheeks, the ears, the lips, the chin, the neck, the person’s body, even their clothing. Yeah, it’s there. And the voice says, “Let them speak.” And you’re dumbfounded. What does that mean, let them speak? And the person leaves your mind and goes over, out of your mind and sits at the desk, facing you with your eyes closed, and talks to you. They tell you their name, what they do for a living. And you watch yourself talk to this person. At first, you’re uncomfortable. And they tell you what their background is. They tell you how they were treated in a previous relationship. They tell you what they are doing for a living now, and what some of their dreams are. And you watch yourself with your eyes still closed, look at that person and say, “Would you like to take a walk with me today?” And the person says, “No, I can’t do that.” And you feel sad inside. It’s not like you were asking for a relationship, you just asked for a walk. And the person fades away.

And you wonder. And the voice says, “Draw a picture.” And you’re back inside of your mind now, and you know what draw a picture means and you do. You draw another picture inside of your mind of what another person looks like, all their facial features, their hair, their eyes, their nose, their ears, their body, their background. Everything. You draw their clothes, anything you want them to wear. And this time they sit down at the end of the bed when they come out of your mind. They sit right there at the end of the bed, or the area where somebody would rest if they were going to lay down. But this person doesn’t lay down, they just sit there and they look at you with your eyes closed. And they say nothing. So you say, “Hello.” You tell them your name, and you ask for theirs, and they tell you their name. And you ask them, about themselves. How they got here, what they do for a living, what they’re doing here in a mountain, in a room. And they ask you the same question. And you tell them the truth. And they smile, saying, “ That’s exactly how I felt.” “Would you like to go for a walk?” They say, “Perhaps, let me think about it, I’ll get back to you.” And they fade away.

And you think,”You know, I’ve made progress, I got an I’ll think about it instead of a no, whatever that means.” “Draw a picture.” Draw a picture? You’re starting to get used to this. You draw another picture. What they look like, their face, their hair, their eyes, their nose, their body. You dress them. You change things this time, dressing them differently. This person comes out of your mind, and transports themselves to the little rock beside the bed and they sit there by you with your eyes closed. And they say nothing. And you introduce yourself. And they say, “It’s nice to meet you. I was hoping to meet someone nice like you.” And that startles you a little bit, and even though your eyes are still closed, you still look over at this person and think, “Huh, interesting.” And you tell them a little bit about yourself, what you do for a living. Some of your dreams, some of the things you want to do, where to travel. You ask the same from them. “Would you like to take a walk today?” “I’m sorry, I can’t.” And they fade away. And you don’t know why they can’t take a walk. But for some reason, what would have made you feel bad, sad, even yesterday, you simply accept.

“Draw a picture.” Hmm…you’re starting to use up your pictures. So you get a little creative this time and you draw the picture in your mind. You change some of the features and characteristics, change the hair, make changes in the face and the neck and the eyes, the ears are a little different. The body, what they wear. And for the first time you think, “Who might this person be?” And, “What kinds of things would I want them to tell me about themselves?” “What would be important to me?” “Because if I wanted to take a walk with them it would be nice to have some

things in common.” And you figure out what those things are. And you realize that you want some things, maybe a lot of things to be different. Because if you both knew all the same things,

it would get boring on the walk after a while. So you want this person to be articulate in different aspects of life than you are, so they can complement you on your walk. It makes sense.

And the person leaves your mind, and they stand up by the desk over there, and they look at you. And as you watch yourself, this time your eyes open. And you see this really beautiful person over by the desk and you stand. “Hi.” You say your name, and introduce yourself. And the other person introduces themselves, too. And they tell you about themselves, and just like you imagined it, they tell you things that are the same and different, all the things that you already knew because you put these things in your mind and they tell them all about themselves and some things that you didn’t know. They smile at you, you smile back. And you stand there really

admiring this person. What a creation. “Would you like to take a walk with me?” “I’d love to. I really would. But I can’t. It’s just not possible.” And they fade away, just like that. And you feel

a twinge of disappointment as you sit down, on the crate your eyes close, and your head goes down again.

“Draw a picture.” You can’t remember the last time you used your imagination this much. Draw

a picture. Okay. So now you draw another picture and you make changes and an even more

different face and a different neck. Hair is different, eyes, ears, nose. Everything is a little different. You like the idea about giving people some kind of a set of characteristics that are the same and different, and you stick with that idea because that makes sense. Some things in common, maybe values and beliefs, some of those things. And you think of those values and beliefs that are extremely important to you. Yeah, those. This person needs to have those things. But then they need to have some things that are not in line with what you think, that you can disagree about, that you could argue about? Yeah, that you could discuss and communicate with

each other about. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. This person should have some goals, some outcomes, they want in their life. “This person must want somebody wonderful like me. And who wouldn’t want that? But I better get more specific than that. I must want somebody who has some of the values I have and the beliefs that I have, and some of the physical features.” Right. There you go, that’s a good idea, I like that. And they immediately leave your mind and they stand on the other side of the desk. And you watch yourself stand up. “Hello my name is…” And you say your name. And the other person says their name. And you two hit it off. You just talk. About your dreams, your goals, the things that are important to you. All of this, the first time you’ve met! And you really like this person. This person is amazing. “Would you like to take a walk with me today?” And they smile at you. “I’d love to, but I can’t. Oh, I really would love to, but I can’t.” And they fade away. And you feel frustrated. “Oh. That person was perfect.” There was such a great energy there.

It’s time to go. It’s time to go? A book appears on the desk. A pen appears on the top of the book. Ink appears next to the pen on the desk. The voice says, “Write what you have learned.” “Write what I have learned. Oh, I hate being tested!” And you go over to the desk, and you dip the pen in the ink, never having used this kind of a pen before, you actually look at it. “Write what you have learned.” “I’ve learned that I want to spend time with someone who wants to spend time with me. I’ve learned…” and your hand writes, “…that I want to spend time with someone who is not like me in some ways, but is like me in other ways.” You dip your pen in the

ink. “I’ve learned that I want somebody who looks some specific way. But it’s not necessary.” You dip your ink again. “I’ve learned that I want someone who shares some of my key values and beliefs. I’ve learned that hearing NO is only annoying. It’s not scary like it used to be. I’ve learned that what seems to be rejection really may not be. It just may be that the circumstances just don’t allow it right now.” You dip the pen again. And you write more about what you have learned and you think of that thing or those things right now. And you write them down.

Soon your hand stops writing at the desk. You put the pen in the ink and you look at the long list. And you realize that there really is no problem in going up next to someone or talking to someone and saying “Hi, my name is…what’s your name?” Because they are looking for someone who shares the same values and beliefs and different values and beliefs and they probably haven’t thought about it as much as I have, but we’re all looking for a puzzle that can be fit together, not too easily to get bored and not too hard to be frustrating all the time, but something in the middle. You want to fit, but not too good. The puzzle doesn’t need to be perfect. You’ve learned so much. And you’ve learned that the other person might be really nervous about seeing you, no matter what they’ll look like, especially when they are being approached and they don’t know what to say.

And as you think about it from that other person’s perspective who you drew in your mind, well, that person doesn’t know what to say anymore than you do. So they’ll probably feel comfortable with the first person that helps them feel comfortable and safe. And you realize, that’s a secret. That really is. Wow. That is the secret. And as you sit back and you look at that list, you think that you drew a couple of those people in your mind. And yet they said no, they wouldn’t go and take a walk today. And that confuses you. Because they should have. They should have, that’s what they should have done. They said no and they disappeared. Just like the others earlier, who had to disappear, but that was because they had no depth. There was nothing to them, they were just paper dolls. Whew. Huh. But you look at that list and you realize that it’s your desire to develop the skill and the ability to help people feel comfortable when you smile at them. And how do you do that? You ask a question. Because a question has an answer where as if there’s no questions, there’s no answer, there’s no response. So you have to ask a question. But they are uncomfortable there. Hmm. It’s our job to make them feel comfortable. Maybe not our job, maybe our desire, we want to do it, because if we make them feel comfortable, then I’ll feel comfortable, too. That’s it. And when I do that I’ll be confident and certain that I’ve done good. Oh, yes, that’s it! You put the pen in the ink. You stand up, and the door opens. And you literally walk out of the room, the door closes behind you, you look to your right and you see a long hallway of doors.

And you just wonder what it must be that’s there, inside of all those rooms. But you don’t feel compelled to find out right now. You feel juiced. You feel energized. You feel excited. You figured a lot out and it’s time to put it to work. You walk fairly quickly past five, and then four on the left and three on the right and two on the left and one and there’s the boxes, those mailboxes, those safety deposit boxes and the coat rack. And now, you look at the boxes and you look at the coat rack and you look at the ribbons around your neck with the keys. You had forgotten about that, it felt so good without them. And you think to yourself that you can take or leave, whatever you want to do. You just don’t know. You think well, geez, if I don’t have any concerns, then I don’t know how responsible I’ll be. So, you take the key that’s over your solar

plexus you pull it off from over neck, you open the drawer, unlocking it, and you pull all those concerns out, and you put them back in yourself. But the little teeny box, well, there’s no

question about that one, you put that ribbon on the coat rack. And that huge box, oh, man, that’s

a lot. That’s a lot. No. You take the big ribbon from around your neck, the one that came down to

your belly button, and you put it up there on the coat rack. As you’re putting it up on the coat rack, you realize that the tip of the rung is actually a small pen. And you take the pen and you write your initials on the two keys. And you do that now.

And you look at those boxes and you realize you had a little one and a big one and I’m leaving those here. And you’re excited. And you head toward the door, you open the handle, you close it, you come out and it’s dark. And you see that big rock and you see light around the other side of

it and you go around, and there it is just like it was when you saw it when you came here. You

shake your head and you think this is just not possible. Now instead of wanting to go to the top of this mountain, you don’t want to go to the top of the mountain, you want to go down the hill, you’ve got stuff to do. You grab your stick from the ground. You looked at your knee, it’s still scraped up but you haven’t felt it in a long time. And it actually feels pretty good. And you feel

light on your feet and you start to walk along the path and you whistle. When was the last time you whistled? You whistle as you walk. And you walk and you walk until you come to the overlook where you saw the city and the village and the rural area and the stream. And you stand there and you look and it all seems so optimistic and obtainable now, and you realize it is all yours for the taking. And now you know. You hear a noise behind you. Someone’s coming and you look and you think, “Oh my gosh, it’s just like one of the people that I drew.” And the person says, “Hello!” You say, “Hi, you look very familiar.” And they say, “Is that as good as you can do?” And you say, “No, seriously, you really do.” And they smile, and say, “Ok.” And you show the person the city and all the streets that lead that way, and the roads and the rural area and the stream. And you point out all the things which are now familiar to you in your mind. And then you pause. And you turn toward this person, and you put out your hand and you say, “Hi, my name is…” and you tell them your name, and they tell you their name. And you say, “Would you like to take a walk with me today?” They say, “Sure, where are you heading?” And you point down to the stream. And you say, “I want to go down by the stream and just kind of kick back and have a nice day today.” “I’d love to go with you, that would be great. I have a backpack over there with some lunch in it.” “Really?” “Yeah, hang on I’ll go get it.” And the person gets their backpack and comes back, and says, “Do you have anything to eat?” “No, I’m sorry, all I’ve got is this walking stick.” “That’s okay. I’ve got enough for two. Come on, let’s go!” And the both of you go down the mountain, slipping here and there, climbing carefully but helping each other as you walk. Remembering the words of what the voice that emanated in the room said, “Draw a picture.” And pretty soon, you find yourself back in your meadow, with your new friend.

You take a little break, sit down on the rock. And they sit down next to you. And you close your eyes for just a second. And you realize that you can come back here anytime you want. Because now you understand, and now you feel certain. And now you feel comfortable. And it’s such a good thing.

When I say the number one, you’ll open up your eyes, be wide aware and refreshed. Three. Hearing the sounds around you. Two. Coming up, ever so calmly, becoming aware of all the

sounds around you. The seat you’re sitting on. And one. You can open up your eyes. Feeling wide aware and refreshed.

Metaphors of Attraction

You can have your client read this or you can coach them with this information:

You have four seconds to make a lasting impression on someone. Be prepared and think before you open your mouth. What you look like is 2/3 of the battle and will filter all the words you are going to say. Each setting provides the opportunity to utilize these first few seconds. There is no single metaphor that is appropriate or effective for all settings.

Any "line" will immediately be seen as insincere. Therefore you must be creative to the moment and the environment. A church group provides a different feel than a bar. If you aren't aware of the "feel" that the setting has you miss every opportunity to connect.

Your goal is to link the setting into your very brief metaphor. If your "story" takes more than 20 seconds you are probably lost forever.

Your objectives are to:

Help the person you are going to communicate with feel special, unique, the ONLY one. They stand out like a beacon of light. They make your heart pound. (If they don't, why are you going to communicate with them?)

1. Take all the pressure initially off the other person by telling your very very very brief imaginary story. The person will sense your connection with them and your story merely provides a pleasant link for them to tease you about, which is precisely what you want.

2. You will ask if you can join them or if they can join you.

3. You will look into your eyes the entire time you communicate except when there is an "action" moment in your story. If this is the case you will look away to "point" at the action (The rollercoaster below) and then back to the person when the action is done. Then your eyes will not leave theirs until they say "yes" or "no." Because "no" means, "I really don't realize how amazing you are," it is not an acceptable response unless it is given firmly and at that point you might still consider ignoring the reaction of "no," and continue on and ask again. If someone is worth pursuing and makes your heart go pitter patter, why would you accept no?

4. You can't harass someone (or perhaps you can) but you can definitely move more aggressively and kindly toward "yes."

If this could be someone remarkably special and they could be worth spending the rest of your life with, ask them this after they have said no. "You know, I saw you sitting here. I thought about what you do for a living. I suspected you weren't totally satisfied with that. In fact I would say you weren't satisfied with a lot of things in life and I am here to deliver you with a message. You are amazing and have a birthright to a 10 life. I'd like you to sit with me for 10 minutes and if you don't think that I'm a 10, I want you to get up, walk away and I will happily pay the tab. Fair enough?"

Now, this might be enormously corny or it might be intimidating or it might be appropriate.

The point is that your attention is on that person and not on yourself. You are the first person that communicated your interest in this person and not just the paper doll that they are.

First meetings are always complicated and awkward for almost everyone because they are something we don't experience that often. Therefore expertise is hard to come by.

Always assume a "no" reaction because that is what our programming tells us. So, the formula for connecting must be "yes, then what?" or "no, then what?" "No" is not a reasonable response without more information, in my opinion, so make certain that you offer an opportunity that they cannot lose. It's the same as a money back guarantee. In fact, you can offer that. No one else does and they go home disappointed. So, perhaps you will!

Meet someone special: "I've been sitting over there feeling like I'm at an amusement park, watching all the people. Then I looked at you and I felt like I was one of those fast rollercoasters. You're the only person that gave me that adrenaline rush so I figured I should seize the moment.

I'm

What's your name?”

Short and sweet. You have seconds to make a great impression or at least a good impression. The metaphor is hypnotic in that they are immediately transported in their mind to another space and time. That gives you an opportunity to disconnect the reactance response (no).

After that? You're on your own.

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Asking them to commit long term: “Life is so much like a movie. It's short. It can be hard. It can be so beautiful. If you had not been born, this moment would have been impossible and every precious moment in the future would be missed. But you were and I love you and I would like you to walk into the future with me. Say you will.”

EXERCISE:

Construct your own metaphor for meeting someone. Construct a metaphor for making a commitment. Each should be 30 seconds or less in spoken word.