Verita

by Tracy Rozzlynn Copyright 2011 by Tracy Rozzlynn http://TracyRozzlynn.com SMASHWORDS EDITION ***** PUBLISHED BY: Tracy Rozzlynn on Smashwords Smashwords Edition License Notes This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work. This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental All rights are reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author.

***** Verita

Chapter 1 I cringe as the girl behind me incessantly cracks her knuckles in nervous anticipation. Its a noise I cant stand, and its taking all my restraint not to scream at her. Instead, I look around for a distraction. The girl to my left relentlessly nibbles her nails. The girl on my right just looks down at her feet while twirling and un-twirling her hair around her finger. Im surrounded by other teenage girls. Usually this would mean an uproar of endless chatter and babble, but today the raw fear and dread of the unknown keeps us all silent. Were all deeply wrapped in our thoughts. I imagine that each girl is thinking the same thing: How the hell did my life get so screwed up that I decided to come here? I had never been ultra rich or anything like that, but I certainly never had to go without. I was loved, and I had friends. Overall, my life was good. My family and I lived in a modest colonial. Well, it was modest compared to the rest of the houses on our street, at least. We lived in one of those planned neighborhoods that had a minimum square footage requirement and our house just met it. Unfortunately, the neighborhood included Mrs. Platt, the head of the neighborhood committee, also known as the Tree Tyrant. She actually went around with a ruler in her purse. Anyone whose grass was too tall, shed threaten with a fine. She was the reason all the parents, including mine, had to tear down the tree houses when I was ten. Hence, the nickname. It was also why no one would ever identify who toilet-papered her house every Halloween. I did well in school, and this year I was the girl to beat in the butterfly stroke. My best friend Jenna and I dated two of the cutest guys in the school, Brad and Jeff, who also happened to be best friends. We couldnt have planned it better, especially considering how different our tastes in guys ran. Jeff was a total jock. When he didnt play sports, he talked about sports. Jenna didnt mind because, as she put it, They dont need words to express their love. Ugh. Please. Brad ran crosscountry and track, but I knew that there was more to him than just sports. He was sweet and caring, funny and smart everything I could have wanted in a guy. Things had started to get serious between us, as well as between Jeff and Jenna. It was partially because of the extra freedom best friends dating best friends gave us. Our parents never questioned Jenna and me about going over each others houses, to the mall, or even to a midnight movie together on a Friday night. We just conveniently left out the with our boyfriends part, and questions were never asked. It was that way the night my life changed. My parents finally took the second honeymoon they had always dreamed of. They went on a cruise to the Caribbean. Initially, they considered getting

someone to stay and housesit with me but after some persistence on my part, they relented. After all, I was almost seventeen. They knew I was responsible, and they didnt want to mortify me with a babysitter. So I was left alone in the house for the week. As expected, Jennas parents never questioned it when we arranged a sleepover the weekend after my parents left. Jenna commandeered the upstairs. Jeff didnt know it yet, but she had decided it would be the night, and she wanted complete privacy. I had promised her that Brad and I would stay downstairs on the side of the house farthest from the guest bedroom. I didnt mind. Things were getting serious for me, but I wasnt ready to go that far. Not yet. So instead, Brad and I cuddled up in front of the TV , ignoring some romantic comedy we rented on pay-per-view. Then, the doorbell rang. Figuring it was the ever nosey Mrs. Platt checking up on me, I had Brad hide while I answered the door. Oh, I wish it had been Mrs. Platt. Are you Ms. Brett Bradbury? one of two uniformed police officers asked. I didnt do anything wrong, I blurted. It was a knee-jerk reaction, but their being at the door made me feel guilty. I racked my brain, but couldn't figure out what I could have possibly done to bring them there. Had I run a stop sign without realizing it? Or maybe I had an unpaid parking ticket I was unaware of. No, that didnt make sense. They wouldnt be there just for that. Then, a crazy thought hit me. Could they be strippers? It could be Jennas weird idea of a thank you for loaning her my upstairs. I felt burning heat rush to my cheeks; leave it Jenna to think that something so mortifying would be considered an expression of gratitude. The thought was ludicrous. Jenna wouldnt risk having her night interrupted, no matter how much enjoyment my humiliation might bring her. No, maam, youre not in trouble. Are you Ms. Brett Bradbury? the officer repeated. I nodded. Is there anyone here with you, or anyone you can call to come over? Then I noticed that it wasnt anger or a tough-guy look that I saw on their faces, but somber expressions. Simultaneously, I realized the tone of his voice was apologetic. Suddenly, I was panicked. Yes, why? Whats happened? Whats going on? I demanded. I must have been shouting because I heard the footsteps of Brad, Jenna and Jeff all running toward me. Tell me! Tell me now! Now I knew that I was shouting. Brett, whats wrong? Whats going on? Brad asked, looking from me to the officers as he reached the front door. I felt his arms wrap protectively around me, as he shifted himself between me and the officers. The officer glanced from me to Brad and back again. He let out a long, drawn-out breath and began to speak. Im sorry to have to tell you, maam, but theres been an accident. Your parents were involved a plane crash

I cut the officer off with a half-choked cry of relief. Shaking my head, I quickly pointed out, No, that cant be; they left on Wednesday. They already called me from the boat. Unless youre telling me a plane crashed into their cruise ship, youre wrong. Right now, theyre both enjoying themselves, tipsy and soaking in the sun, I explained. Anger began to rise in me. I was furious that they could make such a mistake. Yes, maam, youre right. Your parents did make it to the ship. But they chartered a small engine plane The officer continued to explain what happened, but his voice was drowned out by a combination of sobs and hysterical laughter. I eventually realized the sounds were coming from me. Jenna reached me and joined Brad in wrapping her arms around me, but I just crumpled to the floor as my world went black. Brett Bradbury. I swallow hard at the sound of my name and make myself step forward to the folding table being used as a make-shift desk. Im greeted by a plump woman with a nasal voice. She gives me a bored look and simply says, Personal items. Shes gesturing to a shoebox-sized white box next to her. I already know the routine Ive been watching the previous girls called up and quickly dump the contents of my plastic bag into the box. After a moment, the bored woman glances up and asks, Anything else? I wordlessly shake my head. She seals the box, scribbles my name and a number on the side of it, and places it in the stack beside her. Then she hands me my paper-thin gown and booties and gestures to a privacy curtain at the back of the room. My parents were dead. While on their wonderful cruise, they decided to take a plane tour of the islands. It was one of those small two-engine planes, the kind that periodically made its way onto the news because of landing or crashing in some strange area due to some kind of trouble. Well, thats what happened to my parents. One minute they were having the time of their lives, taking pictures out the planes windows. The next minute they were screaming in horror as they watched the ground get closer and closer until they crashed. Id played the scene over and over in my head, imagining the fears and thoughts that would have flashed through their minds during their final moments. I stayed with Jennas family for the first week, through all the funeral stuff. They had been kind enough to take care of all that for me. I was in no state to do anything that required clear thinking, or any thinking at all, actually. The grief and pain was too much for me to bear: instead it numbed me. All of my emotions simply shut down The only thing I felt was dread dread of the pain returning and overwhelming me. My stay at Jennas house was only temporary. Her family couldnt (or maybe wouldnt) keep me. I had no brothers or sisters and both my parents were only children, so there were no aunts or

uncles to turn to. My parents were older when they had me, so only one grandparent remained in a nursing home, too senile to even recognize me anymore. The warm, squishy hugs I got from her were meant for Anna, her childhood best friend. Being a minor, my only choice was to enter foster care. At first I thought it wouldnt be so bad. Id continue to go to my old school, get myself emancipated as soon as possible, and then live on the money from my parents life insurance and from selling the house to get myself through college. Then Mr. Thompson, Jennas dad, explained my parents dire financial state to me. My parents, like so many, had been living beyond their means. They had let their life insurance lapse and had taken a second mortgage out on the house. In the current housing market, it meant they owed more than the house was worth. Bottom line: I was now broke and alone, with no hope of escaping foster care. Once Im dressed, a white haired nurse commands me to follow her. Begrudgingly, I force myself forward, and follow her down an empty metal corridor. Its a long, lonely walk toward uncertainty. Behind me, trying to break the oppressive tension, I hear someone exclaim, Dead man walking. But their humor is lost; its just too close to what we fear. I futilely look around for something to distract me: a poster, some peeling paint, anything. But all I see are blank gray-metal doors lining the left side of the hallway. I try counting the doors, like a sleepless person does sheep, but I cant focus and I keep losing count. My mind wanders. I cant help thinking that I should be shopping at the mall right now, gossiping with my friends about boys, or even struggling to stay awake during a long and boring class lecture. Anywhere but here. But as grim and gloomy as my surroundings are, they offer hope. That hope gives me the courage I need to continue down the corridor, instead of fleeing the other way not that fleeing is really an option. Theres no going back, because I know there is nothing left for me to flee to. The wonderful life I once had, that I long for, that calls me back, is just a memory. I had been in foster care for just under two weeks, at St. Augustines home for girls. I was just waiting and hoping for the impossible to happen. I was waiting for a foster parent to become available, be willing, and be able to take on a sixteen-year-old girl. Like that was ever going to happen. No one in their right mind would take on less than two years of income, plus a teenager likely to have more than their share of issues. Most foster parents wanted a cute little baby or toddler, and I, clearly, was neither. Of course, St. Augustines wasnt in a town that had bus transportation to my school. So even though I was paid through the semester, I had to switch schools. And I couldnt even get the money refunded, because it was past the withdrawal period. To make matters even worse, I was only given ten minutes of phone time a night, and I wasnt allowed to have a cell phone. So keeping in touch with

Jenna and Brad had been difficult. Fortunately my new school had a half day one of those teacher professional days. After I got out of school, I took the public bus actually several buses to get to my old school. Thanks to all the bus transfers, by the time I arrived their full day of school was just letting out. I couldnt wait to see their faces, but my welcome didnt go quite as I expected it to. I waited by the east exit knowing that both Jenna and Brad would come out that way. Jenna had chemistry last period and Brad had math. I knew that both rooms were closest to this exit. Jenna came out first, laughing with our friends Bridget and Sarah. As soon as Jenna saw me, she stopped short and did a double take. Oh my gosh, Brett! What are you doing here? she blurted out in surprise. I had a half day and figured Id come and visit, seeing as you havent been able to visit me yet, I chirped brightly and smiled ear-to-ear. Seeing her was so worth the endless rides on smelly public buses. You should have said something, she stammered. I already have plans that I cant change. I couldnt help but notice the unsettled look on her face. Oh. I didnt think it would be a problem, and I wanted it to be a surprise. I shrugged apologetically, and waited for Jenna to say something. She certainly looked surprised, but I couldnt shake the feeling that she wasnt exactly happy to see me. In fact, she looked downright uncomfortable; her eyes looked everywhere but at me. And what was up with the looks Bridget and Sarah were exchanging? Okay, Jenna, what gives? Whats up? N-nothing. Nothings up, she insisted as she turned and started to head toward the parking lot, wrapping her arm around my shoulder to herd me in the same direction. I shrugged her arm off of me and stopped, rooted to my spot. She continued to walk. Then why cant you even look me in the eye? You only do that when youre lying or hiding something, I called after her. She stopped, turned, and glared daggers. Im sorry you didnt call ahead of time, but thats no excuse to start insulting me. Just because you moved away doesnt mean Ive stopped having a life. Her voice was cold and condescending. Now I was even more confused. It was the voice she usually used to mock the fashionably challenged wed see at the mall. She would rave about their outfit, and insist they tell her where they bought it, using the exact tone shed just used on me. Usually I would have backed down. I would have understood that something was bothering her, but not today. Id had too much pain and loss over the last few weeks to be sympathetic. Moved away? I huffed. Is that what youre pretending happened to me? Are you friggin serious? After all thats happened, I spend half of my day on busses, transferring around to get here, just to have you

treat me like this? Just what the heck crawled up your butt and died? I spat my frustration out at her. I noticed her roll her eyes, and I crossed my arms waiting to see what snappy retort shed throw at me now. But before she could respond, I got my answer. Walking out of the east exit, practically glued together, were Brad and Ava. As if to clarify any confusion I might still have had, Brad leaned down and kissed Ava as she ran her free hand over his chest. Oh! I squeaked. I felt the blood drain out of my face. Jenna followed my stare and blew out a loud sigh. You really should have called, she said flatly. I I gotta get out of here. I gotta go. I cant deal with this right now. I panted; I was starting to hyperventilate. My eyes darted, looking for somewhere, anywhere, to flee. Come on. Ill give you a ride. Jenna smiled a thin, sympathetic smile and motioned for me to follow her. I should have known what she was up to long before seeing Brad. Jenna cant lie, and when she gets caught lying she becomes super defensive to the point of outright aggression; hence her behavior. In her unique, twisted Jenna way, she was trying to protect me. Can you punch your address into my GPS? she asked as she unlocked her car. Numbly, I got into the car and entered the address. Once we were finally out of the parking lot and away from prying eyes, I let the waterworks flow. Jenna pointed to a little travel pack of tissues, and waited patiently while I cried. As I started to calm down, between sobs, I complained, It hasnt even been two weeks, and I just talked to him last night. He didnt say anything to me. Then it dawned on me. They looked awfully cozy with each other. Just how long has this been going on, anyway? I asked hesitantly, not quite sure if I wanted the answer or not. A little bit, Jenna answered without looking at me. How long? I demanded, giving her a look that said I wouldnt let her squirm out of this. She let out a long, defeated sigh. A little over a week. Then she looked back at my face again. Okay, fine; they first hooked up after the game against Windsor Academy, she glumly admitted, and braced herself for my inevitable reaction. Two days ! He waited just two days after I had to leave to be all over that slut! And all this time weve been talking, hes been lying to me, leading me on. He hasnt said a word about it. What did he think, that hed make out with me whenever he finally decided to visit, and then go back to her? My voice cracked as I redirected my fury. Jenna cringed away from my angry glare. And you! Why didnt you say something to me instead of letting me look like a fool? Regaining her composure, Jenna explained, I didnt say anything for the same reason he didnt

say anything. Youve been through a lot, and we were waiting for you to figure it out. Her tone sounded like a teacher, patiently trying to explain the obvious to a student. So you expected me to figure out that Brad is a cheating slime ball from the brief conversations Im allowed each night? What, is there a specific tone of voice for that? I shook my head in pain and confusion. Jenna shook her head back at me. No, thats not what I mean. No one wanted to hurt your feelings. No one wanted to tell you that Brad was moving on, because we figured it was just a matter of time until you realized that you had to move on too. I wanted to slap the sympathetic look right off her face. What the hell do you mean I have to move on? Well youre not really part of our world anymore, are you? You cant really expect to have a relationship through the phone, and its not like you can just hang out whenever you feel like anymore. I mean, come on. You, yourself, said it took half a days worth of buses just to get here. That teacher tone was back in her voice. Ugh. She was really grating on my nerves. How dare she take his side? Then it occurred to me. The cold, cruel behavior today wasnt just about protecting me from Brad. It had been there all along during the past two weeks. Id just been too distraught and distracted to see it: a string of excuses about how driving out to visit me was impossible right now, cutting conversations short, and plenty of vague half-answers that left me feeling ignored. I swallowed hard, determined to keep the hysterical laughter I felt creeping up at bay. I had been so very naive. So youre breaking up with me, is that it? What? No. I wouldnt break up for Brad. Im just trying to explain to you whats going on with him. Jenna seemed confused, but behind that confusion was a look of guilt. No, not Brad. You! My eyes narrowed as I accused her. It seems like youre the one whos waiting for me to figure out that its time to move on. Youre the one who wants me to figure it out and leave you alone. So Ill ask you again. Are you breaking up with me? I felt myself shaking from the mixed emotions brought about by my realization, but I didnt break my stare. I was determined to make her say the words out loud. I wasnt going to let her weasel out of this friendship by letting it fade away over time. Okay, fine! She threw her hands up in the air, then grabbed back onto the steering wheel. You know what? Yeah. Yeah, I am. You need to figure out that we cant be friends; not like we used to be. And you cant expect me to set aside time every night just to sit and listen to you moan and complain about how much you miss how things were before. Things are never going to be the way they were. Youre never going to come back to school. Well never be college roommates, or pledge

the same sorority together. Its not going to happen. Well never be in the same circle again if we ever were. Cutting her off, I spat, What is that supposed to mean, if we ever were? Oh, come on, Brett. We both know that the only reason you werent a complete loser and geek is because of me. If it wasnt for me, you would have always had your nose buried in a book. You would have had absolutely no idea how to dress, or how to wear makeup, and would have never got the attention of any boys. Im the only thing that kept you remotely popular. The sooner you figure that out, the better it will be for everyone. Jennas voice had turned back to cold, condescending and cruel. It hurt, but at least I saw her clearly now. I had always known she had a mean streak, but being her friend I had never been the target of it before today, and so I had chosen to ignore it. But now I was no longer part of her crowd. I no longer fit into her level of prosperity or status, and, as a result, I was no longer worthy of her or her time. To her, I was no better than a fashion-impaired stranger. Arriving at final destination on right, the GPS voice chimed. Im so very, very sorry if listening to the pain of your childhood friend, who has lost everything and everyone she has ever known and cared about, is an inconvenience. And Im so sorry our friendship has been such a burden for you. Jenna pulled over to the curb and I swung my door open. Do me a favor and let Brad know I wont burden him any longer either. I got out of the car and paused. I wanted to say something poignant, something profound enough to cut her to the bone and make her regret just how much shed hurt me, something that would haunt her throughout the rest of her miserable life but when I opened my mouth, all I could utter was, Go to hell. I slammed the door, turned and ran so she wouldnt see me break down in tears. That was when I knew I was truly alone in the world. Halfway down the corridor, the nurse comes to an abrupt halt and turns left. I can tell the door is heavy by the way she has to strain to open it, and by the echoing thud it makes as it closes behind us. On the other side is another seemingly endless corridor. Theres only one difference between this and the last: both sides of this corridor are lined with doors, not just the left. Doors come one after another, hardly any space between them. Each door has a small window in it, but I intentionally keep my eyes averted from them. Im too scared to examine them closer, too scared to think about what I might see inside. Instead, I redirect my gaze to the nurse ahead of me. She has a strange gait. She doesnt look like shes walking oddly, but I can hear it in the echo of her footsteps against the metal floor. Instead of the normal click-clack, click-clack you would hear as she steps, heel first, then toe, I hear a clickclack-scratch, click-clack. Her right foot drags slightly. If I were wearing more than booties, both my

feet would be making a dragging sound. Soon I notice several more nurses ahead. Theyre all standing in front of open doors, talking and busying themselves. An ominous feeling overtakes me, and I begin to second-guess myself. This is just too drastic a step. There must be other options that I havent considered, other solutions that are less extreme than this. After all, it was a bit of a snap decision, and I honestly havent given myself ample time to mull it over. Maybe if I explain that to the nurse, shell understand, and I can have some more time to make sure this is the right choice for me. Talk about overreacting. When I got back to St. Augustines, everyone acted as if I had broken every possible rule that existed and that I had done it all intentionally. Okay, so yeah, I might have forgotten to tell anyone where I was going, but I was back by the afternoon curfew. No one had bothered to tell me that when school let out early, the curfew was earlier. Apparently, though, intention and knowledge doesnt matter when a rule is broken at St. Augustines. My television, phone, and computer privileges were revoked. To top it off, now I had to report back to the house immediately after school. There was no time limit on the punishment either. I would have to earn my privileges back. When I pointed out how much of my schoolwork was online, I was actually laughed at and told I should have thought about that before breaking the rules. Again I tried to point out that I wasnt aware that I had been breaking any rules, but it didnt matter. I had probably just kissed goodbye to any chance or hope I ever had of getting an academic or swimming scholarship. Now, on top of it all, Id been kept out of school and brought to the child services office. Just how much more punishment were they going to give for my unintentional infraction? I dropped my head into my hands, once again wishing that I would just wake up from this nightmare. It was clear I was no longer considered a responsible teenager from a loving, stable home, that could be trusted, and whose actions would always be given the benefit of the doubt. Now I was a parentless delinquent, never to be trusted and to be kept strictly in line. I sighed, and looked around the small, cramped office I was waiting in. It was way too small for all the items crammed into it. Bookshelves and filing cabinets lined every wall. A few plants were trying feebly to survive on the inadequate light provided by the fluorescent overhead lamps. The last remaining furniture-free piece of wall was behind the social workers desk; on it was tacked a poster of a kitten hanging from a branch, the words Hang in there emblazoned across the bottom. I resisted an urge to pull down the poster and shred it into a million pieces. You must be Brett, a rich, deep voice behind me asked. I turned and watched a tall man in charcoal suit enter the room. The suit looked too expensive

and too well-tailored to belong to a social worker. The man had the build of a linebacker. His chest was so broad that even the best tailoring couldnt make him look like he genuinely belonged in a suit. This was clearly not his office. There was no way hed be the owner of that infuriating cat poster. Yes, thats me, I answered hesitantly. My stomach clenched nervously. This clearly out-ofplace man couldnt be a good sign. Im John Roberts. He reached his hand out in front of him so I could shake it. He towered over me, and his presence made the room appear even smaller than it was. You can call me John. John sat behind the social workers desk and leaned forward, attempting a warm smile. It didnt come off: it just made him more intimidating. So, Brett, reading through your file, I can see that your life pretty much sucks right now. It was clearly a statement, not a question. I was momentarily taken back by his bluntness. I, uhwellyeah, it does, I agreed, and dropped my head to stare at my knotted hands resting in my lap. Well, we think you have a lot of the valuable qualities we are looking for. He nodded his head, reinforcing his statement. I was reminded of a bobble-head, as I wondered exactly who the we he referred to was. I realized he was looking at me strangely. Me? Theres nothing special about me, I blurted, realizing hed been waiting for a response. Hasnt anyone ever told you that being modest wont get you anywhere? He chuckled: a deep, warm laugh, obviously amused with his wit. Well, I do well in school and swimming, but My voice trailed off. That life was behind me now, and I had little hope of getting any of it back. Let me guess: so much has happened to you that it feels like someone elses life now, not yours. My eyes widened as he finished my thoughts. A lump formed in my throat, cutting off my voice, so I just nodded. Well, Im here to offer you an opportunity. He sat back in his chair and gave another attempt at a warm grin. In essence, Im offering you an even better life than you had before. Well, I I didnt finish my sentence; a flash of rage rolled through me. How dare he? Is this even legal? Hes going around offering an understanding shoulder to kids in my kind of situation, and then, before you know it, theyre signing a contract to join the armed forces. How dumb does he think I am? I may not know what Im going do with my life now, but Im sure as hell not going to give it up to join a war that Im not sure we should even be involved in. My face contorted with fury. You kind of sound like an army commercial, I snarled at him, and waited for the shocked expression I expected. But he just sat there, unfazed. So I continued, I

have no desire to be a soldier. I dont care what the pay is or if it pays for college. So Ill just leave, and save us both some time. My jaw twinged with pain: I had been clenching my teeth. I jumped to my feet and made to leave. John started to chuckle, so I stopped and turned back to glare at him. Glad to see there is some spark in you. I was beginning to think you had a bit too much in common with this kitten behind us. He pointed his thumb over his shoulder. Were not recruiting for the armed forces, he said matterof-factly, and motioned for me to sit back down. Then why are you here, and who is this we you keep referring to? I eyed him warily as I slowly sat in my chair. Im from the CTA; the Center for Technological Advancement. Were a private corporation and, as the name implies, were focused on technological breakthroughs. Im here for a special project that, while sanctioned by our government, will not be run by any part of it. He said the last half of the sentence slowly to stress his point. This project could change the face of life as we know it. An added benefit of the project is well be helping disadvantaged teenagers with potential, like you. He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, looking overly smug. I scowled at him. Well what exactly is the project you want me for? And let me just get this clear right now: Im not interested in being anyones lab rat. I stared straight back at John, meeting his eyes, daring him to just try sugarcoating or beating around the bush with anything he had to say. John leaned forward again, never breaking eye contact, or even blinking. I cant give you all the details right now. All I can say is that you would be part of something big and important; a lot better than anything youll find here. He gestured to the clutter around us. And whats the catch? I demanded, still suspicious. Youd be leaving behind your friends and family, he admitted freely most likely because he knew I didnt have any left. I quirked my eyebrows at him. For how long? For good. And exactly what third-world country would you be sending me to? Would it be the Amazon or the Arctic that Im dropped in the middle of? I crossed my arms tightly around myself, as if that would somehow stop the chill running along my spine. No, nothing like that. Again he sounded amused with me. I glared back at him, unwilling to be the source of his entertainment. Why on Earth would anyone want to take a job where they could never see any of their friends or family again? I actually stomped my foot in frustration, but then realized how childish I was behaving. So, I put on what I hoped was a stoic look, and waited for an answer that wasnt the

obvious lack of said friends and family. Because, Brett, youd be part of something that could change the future of mankind. You could be part of something important, where you could really make a difference. Besides, at this point you dont have anything to lose, and theres so much you can gain. His voice was soft and sympathetic, but it drove home the brutal truth: I had no one, nothing to miss and no one to miss me. It didnt matter where, or exactly what, his special project was; it had to be better than the future I was currently facing. Wherever I ended up, it would be better than staying here. I let out a long, defeated sigh. Okay, fine. What do you need me to do now? I swallowed hard: my control over life had all but dissipated. Nothing. Well take care of the details. All youll need to do is pack any small, non-clothing personal items you want to bring with you. He stood, giving me a broad smile as he shook my hand. Youve just made the best decision of your life, Miss Bradbury. I wanted to believe him, but I had a heavy, sinking feeling in my chest. The nurse stops in front of a door my chamber. I swallow hard as she opens the door. She asks me to stand facing the container. I try not to compare its shape and size to that of a coffin. Instead, I focus on keeping the back of my flimsy thin hospital gown closed as I step in front of her. But even that is pointless. I feel her untie the two little bows that precariously hold it together. Please remove the booties, step in and turn around to face me, she directs with a cold, indifferent voice. I resist rolling my eyes. Youd think I would get a little bit of sympathy, considering Im about to spend the next several centuries in this metal box. She busies herself connecting different stickers with wires to my skin under the gown. I assume theyre meant to monitor me during my sleep. She warns me that it will hurt for a second, and I feel the pinch of a needle as she connects some kind of IV to me. Then she removes the gown. The one thing they neglected to mention to me when describing everything is that Id have to be naked. Im mortified at the idea of spending my years naked. Even if there isnt anyone around to see, its horrifying. Not to mention that when I wake up Ill still have no clothes on. Fortunately, Im only mortified for a moment. Whatever is in the IV is quickly doing its job. My eyelids already weigh a ton, and I can hardly keep them open. My mind feebly attempts one last round of doubts and worries about all that could go wrong, and then I am asleep. I was taken from the foster care center the same day I spoke with John. I brought with me a small grocery bag holding the few precious things I had left: my MP3 player, some family pictures, a gold chain and cross given to me for my confirmation, and my fathers wedding band. My mothers rings never made it back from the Caribbean. Somehow the ring was lost or misplaced. Of all the

objects I once had and valued, so darned little of it held any real meaning or importance for me. I spent the next week with a group of girls at what I think was part of the CTAs center. We spent half the time being poked, prodded and examined by doctors. The other half was spent taking test after test. Before long, the tests all blended together. They all seemed to be one kind of aptitude test or another. Frankly, I was getting tired of deciding if I was more like a bird, a lion, a lamb or some other silly animal. It wasnt until the end of the week that the project was finally explained to us. A life-sustaining planet had been found within our galaxy called Verita. We were going to be part of a colonization project. We would be cryogenically frozen and, while frozen, trained in our determined specialty. I knew, and they knew, that they were sugarcoating everything. It was what they didnt say that frightened me. They stressed how it was their breakthrough technology that made the journey possible. They pointed out that a construction crew was a year ahead of us, so we would arrive to a fully constructed colony. And finally, they claimed they wanted such young subjects because there was a possibility of slight aging occurring over such a long time span, and they didnt want us to feel pressured to procreate immediately. What they didnt say to us was that the technology was untested, and nothing like this had ever been done before. They didnt truly know what wed find on the planet, and there was a chance that wed just grow old and die in our sleep. That was yesterday. Thats how I ended up where I am now naked and unconscious in a metal box, waiting for the day when I either fade away into oblivion, or wake up feeling as if no time has passed. Hopefully Ill wake up to a better future on a new world. And hopefully John was right about my decision. But now, all the reasons that brought me here no longer matter. Im committed now. I made my decision, and theres no turning back. All that is left for me to do now is wait, and hopefully not die, but wake up.

Chapter 2 I have never been a very sound sleeper. I usually jolt awake because of some weird dream or the jarring sound of my alarm. I rarely enjoy gently waking up to the sound of birds chirping outside my window and the realization that I still have a full five minutes before my alarm clock goes off. Today is definitely not one of those days. Today the warm, safe cocoon of my slumber is ripped apart by some unknown dream. But instead of being jarred awake, I plunge into another nightmare. Wherever I am, it is too cold, and it is too dark to see. I try to wrap my arms around myself for warmth, but I cant move them. The shock causes me to inhale a deep breath, but instead of drawing in air, I inhale the same cold substance that I now realize is surrounding me. I start to sputter and choke on the liquid. Im not sleeping, but drowning. Thats why I cant move; the water is so cold that my muscles have all but shut down. All I can do is sink. My mind screams at me: No! I cant die! Not like this! This is too horrible a way to die! Im supposed to die in my sleep when Im old and gray! In desperation, I try to force my muscles to claw to the surface of the water. If I can just get to the surface, someone might see me and rescue me. But the effort is exhausting, and I am still unable to even raise my arms. I feel myself start to shake. I cant tell if its because of fear, or the strain of my effort. I want to scream out in terror, but that requires air. I dont know how or why, but my panic wanes as I realize that its hopeless to fight the inevitable. Its strange: I thought drowning would hurt more than this, but Im not in that much pain. My thoughts drift to my family. Will I get to see them again? They dont even know heck, I dont even know where I am or how I got here. Then I remember where my mom and dad actually are, and a small bittersweet smile etches itself across my frozen face. At least Ill be seeing them soon. Suddenly there is a whooshing sensation; all the liquid around me disappears. I feel myself slipping downwards with the icy water, but then something hard slams against my chest. I hear muffled, but alarmed, voices in the background. A deep male voice sounds near my ear, trying to reassure me. Relax; youll be okay. Dont fight the coughing. Itll help clear your lungs. I feel a pinch in my arm and a series of prickles on my skin. It feels like Band-Aids are being ripped off of me. I want to ask him what he means, where I am, whats going on but instead renewed panic takes over. I push hard against whatever is restraining me, and I feel myself falling forward. An electric jolt shoots up my knees and hands as they meet the ground. I know I should feel pain from the fall, but Im somehow disconnected from my senses. Still unable to breathe, I cough, then vomit. Whatever remaining liquid inside of me comes streaming out of my mouth and nose. Just as I take my

first real breath of air, hands grasp me under my arms. Im roughly lifted from the ground and tossed onto what must be a stretcher. We need to get her into the shower room now! Her body temperature is still too low! the deep voice yells, and I feel myself roughly carted away. Ah, thats it: Im still dreaming. I must have fallen asleep watching some kind of hospital drama that always causes vivid medical dreams for me. Hey, arent they supposed to yell stat! instead of now? Despite just being out of the liquid water? I am plunged into another tubful; only this one is hot. Really hot. So hot it hurts. Now I know this is no mere dream, and I begin to writhe in pain. Youre burning me! I try to scream, but it comes out as a hoarse, choked whisper. It only feels that way because youre so cold. Try to relax and it will even out in a minute, the voice reassures me. As hes speaking, I realize the pain is subsiding already, but now Im starting to shake all over, uncontrollably. It feels like the shaking will never end, but eventually it starts to subside, and I slowly regain my normal senses. I feel pain throbbing in my hands and knees, and theres an ache in my chest. As I take inventory of myself, I realize Im not clenching my eyes shut anymore, but I still cant see. I reach up and feel something holding my eyelids closed. Oh, sorry; hold still a moment. I feel something peeled away from each eyelid. Slowly I blink, my eyes open, and I feel the stabbing pain of light. For a few moments everything is washed out, too saturated to take in then they adjust, and I take in the bizarre scene. Im in a bath of green-tinted water, surrounded by a trio of kids no older than myself, two of which are wearing lab coats. The lab coat of the kid closest to me is covered in slimy, thick green goo. You werent supposed to wake up so soon, the voice that has been reassuring me says, and I see it belongs to the kid in the goo-covered coat. For a moment I was worried we might lose you. Theres a look of relief plastered on his face. How are you feeling? he asks, trying to hide the shakiness creeping into his voice. But Im not feeling kind. I had been frightened and confused, but now Im angry. I feel like someone just tried to drown me in ice water and then tried to burn me in boiling water. How the heck do you think I feel? My voice is still a scratchy whisper, but the angry glare I shoot causes everyone to glance away as if ashamed. Just what the heck happened, and where the heck am I? I demand. Dont you remember going into cryogenic sleep? the other lab coat asks, sounding like shes concerned for my sanity. She looks familiar to me. Slowly, I remember where I know her from. The memory of stepping into the cryogenic chamber returns to me, and I realize where I am. Yeah, I remember. Its just

disorienting waking up like this. Youre Emily. I hope she can hear the snarl in my voice. Actually its Dr. Emily now, she responds. Her voice is too cheerful and slightly haughty. Huh? I scowl; I couldnt have heard her right. Shes no older than me and, from what I remember of her, still acts like a stereotypical cheerleader, minus the pom-poms and uniform. She reminds me of Jenna. Of course, that would be my luck: the shallow, flaky air-head that thinks shes better than everyone else becomes a doctor, and I end up scrubbing her bathroom clean. Thats understandable, the goo-covered guy says. Then he shoots Emily a warning glare that I assume means Be nice. I can only imagine the shock it must have been waking up so soon in the process. Hes clearly trying to be sympathetic. But Im still too upset to care. Narrowing my eyes at the group, I say, Didnt someone have a backup plan in case something like this happens, Mr. Dr. Whats your name, anyway? The anger is now evident in my slowly returning voice. Oh, its Dr. Lambert Chad Lambert. We have the warm baths prepared in case of an equipment malfunction, but in your case, there was no malfunction. You just woke up. So, no, there isnt a plan for your scenario, because it has never happened before. Its not supposed to be able to happen. The look on his face is pitiful; he looks honestly distraught. My anger wanes a bit, partially from sympathy, and partially because I just dont have the energy to maintain it. Actually, wed like to figure out just whats different about you so we can stop it from happening to anyone else. Is there anything you can think of that might not be on your medical chart? Dr. Lambert looks overeager for answers, but then seems to realize the impertinence of his zealousness. The eagerness disappears; his eyes soften. You dont need to answer now. When you feel up to it, if you think of anything, just let us know. No, its okay. Im allergic to ketamine, but that should be on my chart. I notice a bemused glint in his eyes, and I realize that Im making my pursed-lip-thinking-face as I try to remember anything they might not know. Actually, I dont really respond well to anesthetics in general. I had my wisdom teeth taken out early. My mom told me that I cried hysterically afterward when they told me not to talk but didnt have a pad and paper for me to write on I dont really remember that part of it. The nurse reassured my mom that it happened sometimes, but even the nurse looked a bit freaked out by my behavior. When I was back to my normal self, she kept eyeing me like she thought my head was going to start spinning around or something. Im sorry; I shouldnt laugh, but Dr. Lambert covers his mouth and tries to regain his composure. Actually, that could be very helpful. Ill have one of the nurses compare the charts and see if theres anyone else with sensitivities to anesthetics. Is there anything else, anything at all? He patiently waits for my response.

I shake my head no and manage to splash water out of the tub in the process. I consider standing and getting out of the tub, but my muscles feel too shaky. I look down at myself and realize that I am completely naked. The green cloud of the water hides my body, but I know I must have been carried here naked. I flush red with embarrassment, and wrap my arms around myself. Here. I look up and see Dr. Lambert is holding a robe. When you feel up to walking, Nurse Mary will take care of you. A hot shower can do wonders for how youre feeling right now. I glance in the direction he is pointing and notice Mary smiling back. Then I look back toward Dr. Lambert. He has a nice, reassuring smile that goes all the way to his eyes. While hes no older than me, I dont find that fact as disturbing with him as I do with Emily. Maybe its less the age, more the whom that unsettles me. I nod my head and he places the robe next to the tub, leaving me with Mary. As soon as he thinks hes out of earshot, I hear him chastise Emily. You froze. Its clearly not intended as a question. No I didnt, Emilys snaps back defensively. If I didnt happen by and help, the extra time you took to figure things out could have landed her in a grave, he growls at her. You have the knowledge, but without action its useless. Medicine isnt always an exact science, and in this case, trying something is better than doing nothing at all. I was about to take care of the situation when you butted in, Emily huffs. Dr. Lambert says something back, but theyve actually passed out of earshot now, and I cant make out the words. I still have my arms wrapped protectively around myself when I feel Mary put her hand on my shoulder. Dont worry; no one else saw you. Dr. Lambert and I wouldnt say anything, and Emily would have to admit she choked to say a word. Mary gives me a wry smile. Uh huh, I nod. I still feel a bit disoriented as I slowly stand and wrap myself in the robe. I realize my muscles are shaking from the effort. I guess it should be expected; it has been a long, long time since Ive used any of them. Mary notices and gives me her arm to lean on. When we reach the showers, Mary instructs me to get in, and to take as long as I need. Shell have the towels and my clothes waiting for me when I get out. Well worry about everything else once I am dressed. The hot water does feel fantastic against my shaky, sore muscles. My legs still feel wobbly, so I lean against the shower wall and just let the water cascade over me. It certainly hasnt been the new start I hoped for, but things have to get better now. They certainly cant get worse, right? I feel excitement, anticipation and dread set in all at once. I still dont know what my job assignment is; maybe things could get worse. With my stomach tied in anxious knots, I quickly end the shower, and hurriedly dress.

As promised, Mary has laid out towels and clothes for me. The movement of getting dressed clearly emphasizes how sore my muscles are. Ive had achy muscles before, but nothing like this, and I doubt that Ill feel like myself anytime soon. I look down, notice the beginning of bruises on both of my knees, and groan. The clothes Mary left are comfortable enough, but they certainly resemble a uniform. At least the pants are black my preferred basic clothing color. The top is long-sleeved, dark purple and black, and made of the same comfy, stretchy material as the pants. Thinking back, I remember what Mary, Emily and Dr. Lambert had been wearing. All their clothes were black with hunter green. The only difference was that Emily and Dr. Lambert had on white lab coats, too. Yup; undoubtedly a uniform. Its practical, but so much for individual style. Oh well. It could be worse. At least Im not stuck with anything too girly, like fuchsia or pink. Mary had thoughtfully left me a brush, blow-dryer and some hair elastics. Opting for ease, I slick my wet hair back in a ponytail, and head out the door to find Mary waiting. So would you like to know what your job assignment is, or do you want to guess? Mary raises an eyebrow at me as if she even had to ask. Just tell me that Im not a trash collector, I mumble back. Mary laughs, apparently not taking me seriously. Well you can breathe a sigh of relief; youre a biologist. Its going to be your job to study, collect and catalog all of the different species of wildlife on the planet. Im not one for hiking myself, so better you than me. Hopefully you like the outdoors? Biologist? Hmm. I slowly mull over the idea. It doesnt sound too bad. Actually, I sort of like the idea of being a biologist, and I do love a good hike through the woods now and then. Seeing thats the first time Ive really seen you smile, Ill assume youre happy with your assignment. Mary winks and gestures for me to follow her. She brings me to a waiting area filled with kids, all wearing the same purple and black. Actually, youre the first person Ive had a chance to tell. She looks to see whos around, drops her voice, and continues, Technically Im supposed to get everyone checked in and take care of that, but some of the doctors like to deliver the news themselves. The annoyance in her voice is unmistakable as she grabs my wrist and takes my pulse. Poor Mary must be assigned to Emily, and I wouldnt put it past her to keep all the fun stuff for herself. Typical of some doctors; they take all the fun and glory, and leave the real work to the nurses. My attempt at humor is poor, but Mary smiles. True. I guess some things dont change, even on the other side of the Milky Way. So was biologist what you were hoping for? She places a blood pressure cuff on my arm and starts pumping

it up. An unrelated thought hits me, and I blurt out, Insomnia. I see Marys brow furrow in confusion, and I clarify. I dont sleep well and I often suffer from insomnia. Could that have caused me to wake up too soon? Hmm, its possible. Ill tell Dr. Lambert about it, she says as she re-inflates the cuff. Returning to her previous question, I say, Im not really sure what I wanted; I only knew what I didnt want. But I think Ill like it. I smile at the idea and Mary sticks a thermometer under my tongue. Its strange. So far everyone that Ive asked has been happy with their assignments. Who would have thought all those silly tests really meant something? I nod the thermometer is still under my tongue. Well your vitals are good. Just take your time, and let me know when youre ready to go. Biologist sounds pretty cool; I hope you enjoy it. She sounds genuinely happy for me. Thanks, Mary. You too. I smile as she walks toward another patient. I start to look around me at the girls in purple and black uniforms. Most are wearing the same dazed, am-I-really-here expressions that I know I have on my face. Hi. Im Suzie. The girl next to me holds out her hand. Hi, Im Brett. I shake her hand. Are you a biologist too? No, Im a botanist. Everyone in our group is a type of scientist. She gestures to the others just woken around us. Briefly, I wonder what waking up had been like for them. They must be waking everyone according to what field of study they belong to, Suzie contemplates, shrugging. That makes sense. I nod, unsure of what else to say. Well it was nice meeting you, Brett. I think Im ready to go now. Im sure Ill see you around, at least at work. Suzie motions to a nurse that she is ready, and the two of them set off together. I sit and chat with the people around me for a while. Suzie was right; theyre all scientists. I imagine working side-by-side with them all; it would sure be something. But Im also sure its only be a matter of time until there is an argument over the classification of a new species, whether it belongs in the Felinae sub-family, Pantherinaeby sub-family, or a whole new sub-family by itself. Whoa, I dont remember learning that. Weird. I try to think of other scientific things I know, and realize I know everything a biologist possibly could. Dumbfounded, I just sit with my mouth hanging open. So youve just realized everything you know, right? Nurse Mary asks me. Thats the real reason we have everyone stay here as long as we do. It takes a bit of getting used to. Just remember to breathe, and youll be fine. She pats me on the shoulder, but I dont feel reassured. I manage to snap my mouth closed and look up at Mary, bewildered. All I can say is, How? Your brain has been bombarded with information the whole time you were in cryogenic sleep;

you were bound to learn it, one way or another. Its a great feeling knowing everything necessary to do your job; it takes all the uncertainty out of it. At least, it does for me. People are people. Your job will have a bit more uncertainty, getting to discover new creatures every day. Mary smiles at me warmly, and this time I do feel reassurance. But how can a frozen brain learn? I wonder aloud, more to myself than anyone else. Its probably easier to think of it as a very, very deep hibernation. Our bodies werent completely frozen, but cooled to the point of near inactivity. So while we were blissfully unaware, we learned what takes most people years to acquire. Its also why they chose such young subjects; there was no real way to determine how much aging would occur over the long term. But as you can see Mary spins as if shes modeling a new outfit. I cant help but laugh. As soon as the shock fades away, Im ready to leave. Mary directs me to the exit of the ship.

Chapter 3 As soon as I am outside, I see that a folding table has been set up. The girl behind it gives me a great big nauseating smile. Please take a map and handbook and have a seat while waiting for the next shuttle. She gestures to the stacks in front of her. Thanks. I grab both and begin studying the map. Its pretty easy to read. Theres color coding, and everything is laid out on a grid. I safely presume that we are on the part labeled Airfield. Its to the north of everything else on the map. Underneath are warehouses and manufacturing plants. I wonder if theyre being used, or if theyre just for future need. After the plants come various labs, offices and a hospital. I have to laugh; there is even a beauty parlor, right next to the barbershop. They figured correctly that the majority of the girls would be unhappy and unwilling to go back to their natural, highlight-free hair colors. Then I groan. Next are the dining halls, recreation halls and the dorms. Men are in one building, and women are in the other. I guess Ill have a roommate again. I just worry that my luck has run out; Ive already had one bearable roommate. Hoping for another good one is probably pressing my luck. I notice the bottom of the map is labeled Married Housing. So much for being told theres no pressure to procreate. I guess if you want your own space you have to get hitched. I look around me. The airfield is huge. I can just make out its edges and can see that there are trees, but I cant tell much else. I lament the acres of undiscovered land that had simply been turned into blacktop and prevents me from getting a peek at what I am to explore. Funny; watching trees get chopped down on Earth never caused me much grief. I guess theres more of an explorer in me than I ever knew. There are several other large ships parked on the blacktop. I wonder when they had all arrived. I listen to see if I can hear any of the local wildlife. I cant, but I do hear a shuttle approaching. I turn and see what looks like a golf cart built for six moving in my direction. There is even a canopy on it to shade its occupants from the sun. As it gets closer, I realize its not just a canopy, but a solar panel. Maybe well actually be successful this time in our attempts to live green. Hi; Im Olive. Ill be one of the administrators here, but today Im your tour guide, the shuttle girl pleasantly announces in a single breath. Jane, is there anyone else on their way down, or is it just these three? The girl at the folding table shakes her head. Okay, if the three of you can climb in, Ill give you a tour of the base and then help you get settled.

We climb on board, and Olive restarts the cart. At first there isnt much to see; just large buildings with more pavement the warehouses. They go on for what seems like miles. I notice the roofs are lined with combinations of solar panels and wind turbines. Again I find myself encouraged by the attempts at green energy. As we approach the labs and offices, the pavement disappears and is replaced by dusty brown dirt surrounding sidewalks. As if responding to my thoughts, Olive explains. As of right now there is no landscaping. We dont want to introduce any of Earths landscaping and unwittingly cause harm to our environment, and we dont know enough about the native plants to use any of them yet. We do grow our own plants and vegetables, but they are all contained in bio-domes to prevent contamination. You wont see the bio-domes on your map they border the base on the east. We pass close to one of the red brick offices. At a closer look, I see that the buildings are actually made of cement; the bricks are merely a stamped illusion, painted to resemble exposed and weathered red bricks. I remember my neighborhood protesting when a remodeled house tried to use the same method. The owners were forced to tear it down and replace it with real bricks. I never did get what the big deal was. The airfield is to the north and the married housing is to the south. Olives tour had continued on while my mind was wandering. I hope I didnt miss hearing anything important. And yes, the housing really is for married couples only. Dont even think about getting married just for the house; getting divorced is almost impossible, and if you do manage to get divorced, you go straight back to the dorms. Im getting an eerie feeling that Olive is a mind reader, but then I remind myself that shes probably given this tour enough times that she already knows what will be asked of her. We pass the dining hall and the dorms. They arent much; just large rectangular buildings with barely any windows. Then we get a quick tour of the married housing. What I can see is only the beginning: the housing stretches further back, and construction appears to be taking place somewhere in the distance, erecting more buildings. I lean forward and raise my voice over the hum of the cart. How will everybody get where they need to go? I smile sheepishly, hoping she didnt cover this information already. Naturally everyone will be encouraged to walk whenever possible. However, there will be shuttles, like this one, which will circle the base at regular intervals; so if anyone needs to travel say, to one of the far warehouses they just need to wait for the next passing shuttle. What are the warehouses being used for? the girl beside me asks. Right now a few are used for storage. Eventually, many of the buildings will be turned into manufacturing plants. That way we can utilize the planets natural resources to produce everything we need.

My curiosity gets the better of me, and I have to ask, Will the warehouses run entirely on green energy? Right now we are running on a combination of nuclear and green energy. We hope to maintain a ninety percent level of renewable energy. Solar panels and wind turbines are being placed everywhere feasible. Olive flashes a satisfied smile over her shoulder. As the shuttle loops and starts to head back, we get close enough to the fence to get a good look at the wilderness. Its strange, but wonderfully breathtaking. At first glance, it looks similar to the trees I grew up with, but the colors are somehow different; there is a blue tint to the leaves. Intertwined among the underbrush are tropical-looking flowers of every possible color. My body tingles with anticipation I simply cant wait to get outside to explore all of this. Much too quickly, the cart pulls away, and we head back to the dorms, surrounded by the dusty, bare ground again. I follow the group into the building, sigh, and wonder if my roommate is already there and waiting to meet me. Women are not allowed in the mens dormitories and vice versa Olive continues, highlighting some of the key rules and information we need to know, but Im barely paying attention. Im too focused on the gray cement of the interior walls that surround me on every side. Theres no carpet, no drywall, nothing that indicates this place should be more than warehouse storage just bare-bones cement, metal, and wood. Before I have a chance to ask Olive about the state of the building, she stops in front of plain door with the number 103 etched on it. Karen, this is your unit. Follow me and Ill show you to your pod. Olive opens the door and we all gasp. The room is a long rectangle with rows of sleeping pods on each side. Each pod has a plain metal locker next to it. There is nothing else in the room whatsoever. Olive is prepared for our reaction, and she responds before we can begin to protest. This may not be what you had in mind, but its an effective way to initially contain everyone in one place. Once youre married and ready to start a family of your own, you will receive a house to live in. Besides, the pods are extremely comfortable, they ensure a sound sleep, and they can be used to supplement your education as youre sleeping. If you suddenly find yourself needing information from a field different than your own, the pods will be very useful. Its not ideal, but its what we have. Just think of this as the place you sleep; youll do your living everywhere else. Now, the door at the end on the left is for the showers on the right are the toilets and sinks. Its the same in every unit. Olive finally pauses to see if anyone still wants to protest the sleeping arrangement. We all just stare back at her blankly. I sigh, knowing how much I will miss my privacy. Olive informs us when and where we report tomorrow to start our jobs, and then she leads us to

the next unit, and finally, to mine. Im on the top floor, and the only elevator in the building is a locked service elevator yuck. I look around my unit. Its an exact duplicate of the other two. The first real pangs of regret hit me. Did I make a mistake deciding to do this? Just what did I get myself into? I look at Olive. Now what? I ask solemnly. Olive giggles, Dont worry; the dorms are the only bleak thing about this place. Youre going to love it here. She gives me an ear-to-ear grin. I give her a doubtful look. Just about everyone that hasnt started their jobs are in the recreation centers or dining halls. You can go to the supply store to get your toiletries and such. And nows a good time to review the handbooks rules. Her expression shows empathy, and I wonder just how pathetic my expression must look to her. Wait. Supply store? Will I need money? I blurt out as what she said registers. No; all the basics are available for everyone. She attempts another reassuring smile, but now Im just finding it annoying. Im over my moment of dismay. Okay, thanks, I mumble, then turn to continue to review my bleak living conditions. Well, enjoy getting settled in. Olive stops and turns before leaving the room. By the way, welcome to Verita. Her brief welcome makes me pause. I am really here. I look around the empty room and contemplate what I want to do. I stick my head in the showers. They resemble the showers at the YMCA back home. The whole floor is tile, drains dotting the center. A thin curtain provides privacy for each shower, but there is no privacy area for getting dressed; just a long bench and hooks on the walls. So much for modesty. I look into the bathroom section. At least there is plenty of counter space opposite the stalls. The sinks are evenly spaced along a continuous counter that spans the length of the room. A mirror spans the entire wall above the counter, and next to each sink is a curling iron and blow-dryer. At least the girls that still care wont have to skip their morning beauty rituals. Im about to head out, when I finally notice a white box in the center of most of the pods. I search and quickly find the one with my name. I open it and try my MP3. Of course it has no charge, but still I had to try. Refusing to entirely give up, I slip it in my pocket in case I find a power source somewhere. Then I look at the pictures. Most are of me and my parents. I didnt want to be reminded of Jenna or Brad. The picture on top was taken this past summer. Im standing in between my mom and dad at the pool. My dad used to muse that I had taken the best from them both and would soon be a knockout. He said hed eventually be forced to sit on the porch with a shotgun just to keep the hounds at bay. Then hed over explain it and tell me thats because boys and men are dogs. Of course, being my dad, it was his job to think I was pretty and to feel protective. I look at the picture and try to see what he saw in me. Im slender, and have a pretty good shape

from swimming, but Im far from a knockout. He was right about one thing, though: I am a mix of them both. I have my moms pale blue eyes and warm, but slightly crooked smile. My ghostly complexion comes from my dad. My mom called it peaches and cream; her polite way of saying that I would never tan, so dont even try. But, despite having my dads dark auburn hair, I dont have any of his abundant freckles and thats certainly a plus. My favorite feature is my hair. Its a deep shade of auburn that only really flares red when in direct sunlight. Its long, well past my shoulders, and it naturally falls into abundant loose curls without getting frizzy. But, looking at the picture, I know my dad was just trying to make me feel special. He was always doing things like that. I wedge all the pictures up inside the door of my locker, and then fish out the rest of the boxs contents. My parents gave me the cross, but Im just too conflicted with everything thats happened to feel comfortable wearing it. Right now, Id feel like a hypocrite with it around my neck. So I slide the cross off, place it in the locker, and replace it with my dads ring, before putting the necklace on. I tuck the necklace into my shirt, and notice how the white gold of the ring feels cool against my skin, while at the same time its presence warms me. As I head out of the dorm, I dont have any idea where Im walking to. I just know Im not up to dealing with other people yet. I try blaming it on my recent waking episode, but honestly, I realize my recent antisocial tendencies are more deeply rooted than that. But where should I go? Next to my bed, lying on a warm patch of grass was my favorite place to read, but there is none of that around here. I dont need to open the handbook to know that going beyond the fence by myself wont be allowed. Yet despite realizing this, I find myself walking the perimeter of the fence. The forest is even more striking and beautiful up close. It looks like someone has combined a tropical rainforest with the familiar New England forests that I know and love. There are large, tall trees that resemble pine trees but instead of needles, they have things coating the branches that are shaped like ferns. There are various oak and maple trees mixed in with bark ranging from snowy white to a bluish charcoal gray. Intertwined with the trees are more plants than I can count. Some wind up the trunks of the trees, flowers bursting out across them, reaching for sunlight. Others are content to hug the ground and soak up whatever filtered light that comes through. Im amazed at the range of colors before me. The trumpet flowers on the vines that climb the trees are sapphire blue. Another bush resembles hydrangea, but the flowers are shiny silver, sparkling like well-polished metal. Its unnerving just how much I yearn to get out beyond the fence to study and explore everything. I had never considered becoming a biologist, but now that Im here, on this planet, I cant imagine ever wanting to do anything else with my life. I come across a boulder close to the fence. I chuckle at how much it resembles a kidney bean. I

test it out, and I decide it makes a pretty decent chair. I can enjoy the view, get some sun, and read at the same time. I settle myself in and start flipping through the content pages of the handbook. In the end, I decide to just start reading from the beginning. I have just finished reading the tedious introduction, when I feel the need to look up. I have the strange feeling of someone watching me. My gaze meets the stare of a beautiful set of violet eyes. I stand up and start walking towards them. They are mesmerizing, these strange eyes. I need to discover who, what kind of creature, they belong to. I am almost at the fence, I reach my hand forward Stop! I jump and pull my hand back. The eyes quickly vanish back into the greenery. I turn in the direction of the deep, booming voice that startled me. What do you think youre doing? You dont know if any of those plants out there are poisonous or even carnivorous. The sharp edge in his voice instantaneously angers me. Is he seriously lecturing me? Momentarily, I worry hes security, and that Ive broken some unknown rule but as he marches closer I notice hes wearing black with purple, like me. Hes a scientist, just like I am, and Im pissed. Who the hell is he to lecture me? I wasnt actually touching anything, yet. I would have stopped before reaching the fence at least thats what Im telling myself. What do you think youre doing? I snap back at him defensively. Im trying to keep you from hurting yourself. You could be a little nicer and say thank you, he snarls, but I can see by his expression that hes startled by my tone. With my voice dripping in sarcasm, I say, Sure, thank you. Thank you for butting in where you dont belong, and thank you so much for startling my creature away. Did you ever stop to think that I was looking at something beside the plants? And, just maybe, that I was reaching out to see if Id get a similar response from the animal that was looking at me? And that, just maybe, youre not the only one with a shred of common sense who knows not to touch something when you dont know what it is? I cross my arms and simply glare at him. A part of me realizes that he only meant well, but Im not in the mood to be understanding. The shock of waking up, the disappointment of the dorms, all my doubts and my losses are being taken out on this poor sap who happened along at the wrong moment. I know its not fair of me, but its not enough to quell my fury. Im sorry, he retorts condescendingly. The next time I think youre about to do something foolish, Ill wait until after youre hurt to tell you that its a bad idea. I notice hes smirking at me now, apparently amused by my reaction. And you can save the lecturing until after the fact next time, too. I huff, turn around, and sit back down to read my handbook. Its a deal then. He holds out his hand to shake. I look up and see a Cheshire cat smile

plastered on his face. I cant stop myself from smiling too. Deal. I shake his hand as I feel my anger subsiding. Im Ryan; Ryan Traven. And you are he asks, raising his eyebrow. Brett Bradbury, I answer. Realizing were still shaking, I quickly tug my hand away. He chuckles warmly at me. So youre a biologist? I notice his voice has a soft, gentle quality to it when he isnt scolding me. Yes, and let me guess: youre a botanist, I say, coyly. Guilty. Sorry if I sounded like I was lecturing you. Ive been walking the perimeter, looking at all these strange plants, and wondering what qualities they possess. I really was just worried for you. He shrugs his shoulders apologetically. Thanks, Ryan. Im sorry I was short. The embarrassment over my reaction is setting in. Im just frustrated that the creature ran away before I could get a look at him. I gesture awkwardly toward the fence. I guess Id be short too if someone messed with the plant I was studying. Well, Ill let you get back to your reading. Maybe the creature is just as curious as you and will find his way back again. See ya around. He waves and starts to turn away. Maybe. See ya. I look up as I say goodbye. He smiles as he turns to leave. Now that Ive calmed, I finally notice his face. He is devastatingly handsome, with neatly combed, short but thick brown hair; the kind that just begs someone to mess it up. A strong chin and strong cheekbones nicely define his face without either being overpowering. He actually still has a slightly boyish quality to his face; I guess he has several years before it will be entirely lost. His amused smile goes all the way to his eyes vibrant and green his most notable feature. I could get lost in eyes like those. My stray thought makes me blush. He notices and smiles even more. I shove my face back into my handbook and concentrate on not watching him walk away. Im so furious with myself. How could I let a stupid boy get me so riled up like that? He has no business scolding me as if he knows more than I do. And now he must think I like him ugh. I only reacted that way because hes the first boy Ive seen in, well, centuries. There is nothing special about him. Stupid boy. Okay, time to concentrate on the book and forget about him. My first assessment of the handbook was right. There is a rule for everything, even when we sleep. Curfew is at 10pm, and breakfast starts at 6:30. Eight hours to get our optimal amount of sleep, and a half hour to get ready for the day. Exceptions to the sleep schedule will be determined by field managers. I wonder who decides who the field managers will be. As I suspected, leaving the base at

will is not allowed. Departures must be job-related. The supply store will provide us with whatever standard issue items we need. If something beyond standard issue is needed, a field managers authorization is required. The rules continue like that, on and on. The sun feels nice and warm. Soon I doze off, and begin to dream. In my dream, I am walking through the forest. Its dark from all of the overgrowth. Ahead of me, I see a shadow of a person, and I quicken my pace to catch up. They match my pace, walking just ahead and out of sight. As soon as I get close enough to see them, they disappear around another corner in the path. I keep following, until there is a break in the canopy. I find myself standing on the edge of a rocky cliff. I shield my eyes while they adjust to the brightness. Across the way, there is a beautiful waterfall cascading down. I listen to the roar of the water crashing into the rocks below, and find it soothing. I hear a noise behind me and quickly turn to see a pair of vibrant green eyes looking at me from the edge of the forest. The eyes move towards me, and I realize its Ryan. He reaches out to me and grabs my hand in his. He runs his other hand up my arm, along my neck, and then rests it on my check. I close my eyes and breathe him in. He smells like lilacs mixed with fresh-cut grass. His touch is warm, soft, fuzzy. He begins tracing my face with his hand, and I realize it is covered in fur. I open my eyes and see that his eyes have turned from vibrant green into beautiful violet. I draw a quick breath in with the shock of it, and shake myself awake. A dream. Only a dream. I console myself as I try to shake the eerie feeling away. Im still sitting on the rock, but the handbook has fallen to the ground. The dream had just been so vivid. I search around me, looking for the set of violet eyes but there are none. My stomach grumbles. Time to visit the dining hall . I stretch and reach down to pick up the handbook, but as I reach, I notice something on my shirt sleeve. I take a closer look: small hairs, purple and white. A shiver runs through me. My entire dream hadnt been imagined. I gather up the hairs and place them in my shirt pocket. Hopefully Ill have a chance to look at them under a microscope soon.

Chapter 4 The main entrance of the dining hall leads directly to a cafeteria-style serving area. I fill my tray and head out the other side, where it opens up to a large room filled with an assortment of differently sized and shaped tables. Some tables sit only two; but others are large enough for twelve. There are small half walls placed strategically throughout the room to give diners a sense of privacy. I quickly realize that Ill pay the price for my antisocial behavior. Everyone is already paired up in groups. In high school, dining alone is a social death sentence; it was better not to eat than to be seen at a table by yourself and get labeled a loser. I consider turning around, but my stomach protests, and I cant just grab something when I get home anymore. So I decide to take my chances and dine alone. Just when I am about to sit down at a table for two, I hear a familiar voice shout. Brett, over here! the welcomed voice beckons. I look up and see Andi, my roommate from testing, waving over to me. I cant suppress the earto-ear smile on my face. I was wondering when Id get to see her next. I join her at her table. Andi introduces me to everyone else, even though she knows how horrible I am remembering names. Wendy, a petite dark-haired girl with gorgeous copper skin is wearing hunter green. Shes a nurse. Her sugary-sweet voice gives her a childlike quality. Zachary is in gray; he is in mechanical maintenance. He proudly informs me that hes responsible for putting together and maintaining everything from the lights to the solar panels. As he talks with his drawn-out southern accent, I cant help but picture him in a pair of farmer overalls, with his shaggy brown hair waving in the wind. It turns out he was one of the original construction crew members, but as the need for construction was fulfilled, he was retrained in the pods and reassigned. Troy is actually the farmer. I feel bad for his luck in uniforms. His bright orange hair totally clashes with the olive-green, but he doesnt seem to mind. He smiles broadly as he informs me that he works in the greenhouses. He, like Zachary, was also part of the original construction crew. Jeremy, a tall, lanky dirty-blonde, is wearing all black, just like Andi, but is too busy staring at her to tell me about himself. So what kind of scientist are you, Brett? Andi asks. Biologist. What about you two? I gesture to Jeremy and Andi. Biologist, nice. I can totally see you doing that. Were research and development. We get to invent stuff. Andi smiles; shes obviously pleased with her assignment. From what I know of Andi, it is a perfect fit. As happy as I am to see Andi right now, its hard to imagine that I didnt like her when we first met. She was way too perky for my taste. She was tall and thin, but muscular. Her tan skin balanced

out her short, spiky platinum hair. I assumed she had grown up on a California beach, afraid to break a nail and obsessed with clothes. Worst of all, I had incorrectly assigned her all of Jennas attributes. Fortunately, she was persistent and determined to be my friend. And so, eventually, I got to know the real her, and just how wrong my snap judgment had been. She was from Idaho and from a family of farmers. Shes the second youngest of seven kids. Andi is genius smart, but she has never looked at it as an advantage. She didnt fit in on the farm. Her book smarts were viewed as a nuisance by her family. Farming was a family tradition, and as such, they were more than reluctant to change a thing about it. Whenever Andi suggested a better, more efficient way to approach a task, her family reacted as if she was causing trouble. School wasnt much better for her. There was no gifted program in her school system. When she was younger her teachers even questioned putting her in special education because she wasnt able to complete her work. They never realized that she had mastered the material years before, and would rather read new material than drone on doing boring, pointless worksheets. When she was tested and it became apparent that she was gifted, her parents were given the option of letting her skip ahead a few grades. They decided against it. They didnt want their daughter to be more of a freak than she already was. So she spent most of her school career bored. In the end, it was up to Andi to negotiate with her teachers. Every year she had to convince the teacher to allow her to teach herself. In return, she promised she would not disrupt the class, and she would complete any tests necessary. If she didnt get 90% or better on the tests, the teacher could put her back to studying class material, and she wouldnt complain. Eventually the teachers would give in; it was easier for them that way. Her only fear was that her parents wouldnt let her go to college, regardless of if she got a scholarship. They claimed they needed her on the farm, and she couldnt leave them shorthanded. Her fears came true but worse than she had imagined. Not only were her parents not going to let her attend college they werent even going to let her finish high school. They wanted her to quit school and help with the farm more. If she didnt, she would be kicked out of the house. So Andi chopped her hair off to make recognition harder, and ran away. Her plan was to get several states away and get into foster care. Best-case scenario, with a new alias, she would complete high school and then work her way through college, maybe even get a scholarship. She did manage to get into foster care, but then she was approached about the Verita project. The way she saw it, even if the project didnt work out for her, at least she got away from the farm permanently. Despite her upbringing, Andi is bubbly and optimistic a sharp contrast to me, but we help balance each other that way. Besides, she is quick to pick up on the irony of things and is skilled in the use of sarcasm. Its an unusual balance in a personality, but once I got to know her, I decided I liked it.

So how come this is the first weve seen of you? Have you been hiding all day? Andi jokes, breaking into my thoughts. No; I just found a quiet spot to read through the handbook. I shrug. Always the bookworm. Andi smiles, knowing shes just as guilty as me when it comes to books. Well, not today. The handbook is pretty dry reading; rules on top of more rules. I actually fell asleep, I admit sheepishly. Well at least youre here now. You havent missed much. Most everyone is hanging out in the recreation halls. Theres not much to do until tomorrow, when the recently awakened start their jobs. Andis face shows her frustration. She doesnt like waiting any more than I do. We were planning to go over to recreation hall B and go swimming after lunch. Do you want to join us? Jeremy asks. Im touched by his effort to include me, but I suspect it has more to do with pleasing Andi than me. Sure, but I need a bathing suit first. Same for us. Were going to stop by the laundry center on our way over. Andi smiles, knowing I couldnt refuse a chance to swim. The rest of the afternoon goes by quickly and easily. Andis friends immediately adopt me as one of their own. They show me the supply store, laundry center, and all the different recreation halls. Entertainment wont be an issue here; its just a matter of deciding what you feel like doing. Im surprised at how easily I fit in with everyone, but at the same time, Im hesitant to let myself get too comfortable. I know its because Im afraid of getting hurt again. After dinner, theres a social mixer in rec hall A. Back in high school no one would have gone, but it seems like the whole base is there. Probably because there isnt much else to do besides hang out and get to know everyone. We wander our way through the special game areas they have set up. Theyre mostly silly games, like picking the rubber duck with the red dot on the belly, or throwing rings at bottles, but they prove to be a fun distraction. Eventually, we make our way to the dance floor. Its crowded, but luckily we have excellent timing, and we grab a table just as another group leaves. Everyone else in our group leaves to dance on the dance floor, leaving Andi and I by ourselves. Hey, Andi, if you get your choice on what inventions you want to work on, you might want to invent a better fence, I suggest, knowing Id pique her interest. She bit, of course. What do you mean? Well, earlier today when I fell asleep, some kind of creature must have climbed the fence. I

dont think it meant any harm. Probably just curious, but curious creatures can cause a lot of havoc. I try to act as nonchalant as I can. Whoa, Im glad youre okay. She hesitates, then: Not to doubt you, but how do you know something was there if you were asleep? She proceeds to crunch the ice left in her glass. It woke me up. I didnt actually see it, but it left some of its hair on me. Im hoping to get a chance to examine them tomorrow. I pat my pocket. Id keep it quiet; they may want to place you in quarantine just to be safe, she whispers cautiously. Hey! Time for dancing! Jeremy grabs Andis hand and drags her to the dance floor, laughing the entire way. Im left staring at my water, feeling decidedly alone despite the crowds around me. I have to laugh watching Andi and Jeremy dance together. Andi is carefree enough that she doesnt care what anyone else thinks of her dancing. Jeremy, on the other hand, must have had some formal training. I have never seen a boy dance the way he does. I wonder whose idea the dance lessons had been. If Jeremy gets his way, theyll make a nice couple. For the second time today, I have the feeling that Im being watched. I look around and find the pair of eyes Im searching for. Theyre deep brown and staring intently at me. I look away, pretending not to notice. I pretend to watch everybody on the dance floor, but cant help stealing another look. The deep brown eyes are attached to a nicely chiseled face a face that is smiling at me. He has wavy blonde hair the color of wheat, broad shoulders, and well defined muscles that show through his black and tan uniform. Hes a soldier. I must be imagining that he is staring at me. I dont know him, and there are so many other people around me. He could just as easily be looking at one of them. Besides, hes definitely not my type. I dont go for the big, burly and tough type. I dont like the type that looks more likely to wrestle a gator than crack open a book. That was Jennas type. Being watched makes me feel uncomfortable, so I decide to get some fresh air. I get up and make my way to the exit. I take a sideways glance, then bump into a large, broad chest. I look up and find my path blocked by that same pair of deep brown eyes. Hi, he greets me, sending an unexpected wave of excitement through me. Hi, I manage to respond. I feel fire rising in my cheeks, but its not from embarrassment. Im Brody. He holds out his hand. Im Brett. I reach out to shake his hand and note the effect his mere proximity has on me. I have the sudden urge to pull him close and press my lips to his. I shake the impulsive thought from my head, and manage a weak smile. How about a dance? Instead of shaking my hand, he bends and lifts my hand to his lips, giving it a gentle kiss. I should be annoyed by his flamboyant gesture, but instead I only feel a wave of butterflies take off in my stomach.

Um, okay. I should say no, run the other way but Im so unsettled that my mouth betrays my mind. Right on cue, a slow song starts, and I manage to suppress a groan. We dont really dance. Instead, we sway and slowly turn in a circle, but I dont mind. I dont think I could handle anything that requires more coordination. The close intimacy of our bodies is overwhelming. I inhale the spicy, musky smell of his skin and tighten my grip around his neck. My mind feels numb. I cant think past the moment or the current breath. Fortunately, he doesnt seem interested in conversation; He just continues to stare into my eyes, smiling. The song ends and he releases me. Ill see you tomorrow for diner. Dining hall B, six oclock. Six oclock, I repeat, more to myself than to him. My mind is still numb. I should be mad that he didnt even bother asking, that he just assumed Id accept. He smiles once more at me, turns, and disappears into the crowd. It takes me a moment to realize that Im standing in the middle of the dance floor, alone, looking stupid. As soon as I reach the table, Andi asks, Having fun? Plastered across her face is an amused expression. Yeah, I guess, I answer absentmindedly. My mind is still focused on Brody and my strange reaction to him. Are you going to make me ask what that was about on the dance floor? Andi crosses her arms and gives me a stern look. I was just dancing, I respond innocently, but my cheeks betray me, and I blush bright red. That wasnt just dancing not the way the two of you were looking at each other and holding each other. Just watching it made me feel like I was intruding. Who was that, anyway? His name is Brody. I give a bashful smile. Was it that obvious? Obvious is an understatement. You never told me that you met someone. Im a little hurt. She pushes her bottom lip out, feigning a pout. I didnt tell you because we just met. I cant explain it. We barely even talked, but there was just something about him. I sigh dreamily. I know Im acting like a silly schoolgirl with her first crush, but I just cant help myself. Its a bit unnerving. After Brad, I had sworn off dating for at least a few years but now I have a date, and in less than a day, too. So when are you seeing him again? Andi prods as she smirks at me. Tomorrow for dinner. I take a long drink of water, attempting to cool my still flushed cheeks. Well Ill expect a full report tomorrow night then. Andi laughs, shakes her head at me, and I know Im forgiven. Its getting close to curfew. Where are you sleeping? Im in Dorm E, room 502.

Andi suppresses a yawn. How bout you? Well, I guess were roommates again then. What are the odds? I laugh. You know those things are contagious, I complain as I join her yawning.

Chapter 5 It feels strange waking up in the pods for the first time. I usually toss and turn in my sleep and wake up feeling tired. But today there is no noisy alarm clock blaring me awake, and no pile of blankets lying on my floor. Instead, I gently wake up on time. Slowly, I become more aware of my environment, until my eyes open, and I sit up, feeling completely awake and rested. As far as I can tell, I didnt even dream good: that means no nightmares either. These pods might not be so terrible after all. Out of habit, I start squinting and looking for where Id left my glasses. Then I remember that they gave me Lasik surgery before I left. Laughing at my habit, I grab a towel and head for the showers. Then I let out a loud groan. Everyone woke up at the same time, and now theres a mad dash to get to the showers. Most of the girls are probably anxious to have enough time to fix their hair and makeup. Id already figured out yesterday that there are more pods than showers. So I sit back down on my pod, pull my legs up to cross them, and sit patiently until the first wave of showers finishes. Looking over, I see that Andi had decided to do the same. Andi is still amused by my bizarre behavior last night, and teases me while we wait. Seeing the look of embarrassment on my face only encourages her. But strangely, last nights dance feels like a daydream. I can still remember his chiseled face and bodybuilder body, but my reaction to him no longer seems realistic. Not sure just what to say to Andi about it, I finally manage to change the topic to our new jobs. We are both anxious to get started. After a brief shower, we quickly get dressed. I dont feel like fighting my way through the haze of hairspray to just find an available blow-dryer. Instead I go the simpler route and opt for a ponytail. After slapping on some lip-gloss, Im good to go. Luckily, Andi had the foresight to attach a mirror to the inside door of her locker, so I dont have to wait long for her. She runs some mousse through her spiky hair, quickly puts on her makeup, and shes ready. In our anxiousness, we race through our breakfast and quickly head off to the lecture halls we were told to report to. Of course, all the hurrying simply means that we end up sitting and waiting in an empty lecture hall, while everybody else takes their time. But soon people start their slow trickle in, and before long the hall is full. Dr. Katelyn Brant enters the lecture hall and briskly explains that she is the field manager in charge of all the scientists. She is the first adult Ive seen so far. She isnt old, but is clearly in her thirties. It makes sense; cryogenic knowledge cannot replace actual experience. By the way she talks and carries herself, I get the impression she is a no-nonsense kind of woman. She gets straight to the point and expects others to do the same. I have an instant liking for her.

Sure enough, she wastes no time with excess pleasantries and tells us that we will be working in teams of four. We will work together in the field and back in our assigned labs as a team. The rest of this week will be spent studying data on the planet compiled by the construction crew, and familiarizing ourselves with the handbook rules and procedures for our work. Were each called forward and handed our lab assignments. I exit the hall and make my way towards the lab my lab. Im pleased to see that it is located close to the fence. I hope my workstation faces the fence as well assuming, of course, that its near a window. Im not disappointed. There are four computers, each facing the windows, each with its own set of blinds. I can enjoy my view without interference from my coworkers. I remember my dad complaining about coworkers fighting over stupid little things, like if the blinds should be open or closed. At least I wouldnt have to deal with that argument. The random thought brings a stab of unexpected emotion. I drop the necklace I realize Im grasping, shake my head, and try to refocus on the job at hand. The workstations are placed in the center of the room; four long black tables that reminded me of my old chemistry class. On the front wall there is a large whiteboard with erasable markers perched on its tiny shelf. Against the back wall and the wall behind me are several large cabinets containing equipment and supplies. The lab is obviously well stocked. I hear a throat clear and turn to see a round-faced girl with large brown eyes and long brown braids behind each ear. She flashes me a shy smile. Next to her stands a tall kid with a baby face and a cool smirk on his face. I smile, and we introduce ourselves. Molly will be our teams geologist, and Jake will be the entomologist. That just leaves one more person. We already have rocks, bugs and animals, so most likely the remaining person will be a botanist. Molly and Jake claim the two computers on the left, so I start to get myself settled into the computer on the far right. We agree to use the worktables in the same order. Ive just started to turn my computer on when I hear a voice, barely audible, behind me. Of course, he mutters, sounding slightly annoyed. I easily recognize the voice; I have met so few people here so far. Im immediately annoyed by his tone, but choose not to respond. Instead, I continue busying myself, as if Im unaware of his presence. I catch myself absentmindedly trying to push the nonexistent bridge of my glasses. They had a habit of sliding down my nose, and Im still getting used to not wearing them. Its kind of like that phantom limb effect just minus actually suffering a physical loss. I hope I wont have to constantly remind you not to touch unknown plants. He chuckles, amused by himself. I turn around and see that Ryans eyes are twinkling, as if he had just made the

worlds funniest joke. I certainly hope you wont go around scaring my subjects away anymore, I smirk back at him. It figures of all the possible botanists, Id get him. I manage to keep my annoyance out of my tone. After all, we will have to work together, and truthfully I had overreacted just a bit the other day. Truce? he asks with one eyebrow raised and his head cocked to the side. Hes obviously attempting to be cute. Fine, truce, I reply, trying not to look too miffed. I bet hes used to using his charming, good looks to endear him to anyone and bend them to his will, but Im not so easily swayed. I learned my lesson with Brad. Oh come on, dont be that way. He bumps his shoulder against mine and manages to make me smile. I roll my eyes. Better get to work, I say, then refocus my attention on my computer to make it obvious that play time is over. Im disappointed by the lack of information gathered during the construction phase. Its clear the construction workers were only concerned about what they were building. I look around the room. I guess I cant fault them for that; its better to have less wildlife information but a roof that wont fall in on my head. I was just so hoping to have more information to work with this first week. I stay behind while everyone goes to lunch. I want to take advantage of the time to look at the hairs I collected more closely. Under the microscope, they resemble human hair follicles. Theyre mostly white, with small deposits of purple at the end. Im tempted to start a DNA analysis on the hair, but before I can Ryan returns to the room. Forgot my handbook. Are you planning to eat? he asks curiously. Im just familiarizing myself with the lab. I try to sound nonchalant, but the frustration Im feeling because he came back bleeds through. Dont forget to pace yourself. You dont want to get burned out in the first week. He gives a feigned look of concern. I roll my eyes. Is he seriously trying to lecture me again? Are you intentionally irritating me, or is it just your personality? I grumble back. Are you always so touchy when people are concerned for your well-being, or is it just me? He has a crooked smile on his face, being cute again. Must be just you. I smile back at him. At least he wont be a boring teammate. I just wish he didnt bug me so easily. Well my personality aside, do you want to have lunch? Fine. I sound overly exasperated as I give in. My test will have to wait. I need to eat anyway, I admit.

Its a date then. He jokingly holds out his arm for me. Feeling silly, I start to blush. I give a hip bump to move him out of the way, and continue towards the door, making sure he doesnt get a good look at my red cheeks and misinterpret them. Dont push your luck, I warn him, and remind myself that I really dont need any distractions at work. Ryan isnt bad company for lunch. We use the time to get to know each other. He, like Andi and I, had ended up here after foster care. Hed recently lost his family because of a car accident. I dont feel like getting into my own details, and thankfully he doesnt ask for them. Instead, we focus on other things, like what it was like where we grew up, what sports we play, hobbies and whatnot. I hope we get to go into the field soon, I state in an attempt to fill an uncomfortable pause in the conversation. Yeah, me too. I cant wait to see whats out there. Maybe youll see your creature again, he offers. I hope so. All Ive seen so far are its eyes, violet eyes. I try to imagine what creature belongs to those intriguing eyes. Whatever it is, I know its a gentle creature. It had curious, gentle eyes. When it looked at me, I saw no malice. Cool, nothing back at home had violet eyes. Looking around the perimeter, everything looks both strange and familiar. I look back up. His comment had distracted my daydream. Well, this planet may put Darwins theory of evolution into perspective. We may be looking at how our planet could have developed if the environment was slightly different. I start to ponder what kind of Earth animal my purple-eyed creature may be like. Possibly. Theres only one way to find out. Yeah, but first they need to let us into the field. I sigh. Speaking of, we should get back to the lab; if we dont finish our first assignment well never get outside. He stands up and grabs his tray. I grab mine, and we head out. We spend the rest of the day reviewing the handbook and the policies and procedures. The rest of the week is going to drag by if we arent given something else to do. Im relieved when its finally time to leave: the handbook truly is dry reading, and Im getting tired of all the rules. Andi is gracious enough to meet me in front of dining hall B without me even having to ask. Its funny: all the years I spent with Jenna as a friend, it always felt like I owed her. If she let me borrow a shirt, I was expected to let her wear my brand new boots, and not complain when they came back scuffed up. If she drove to the movies (I didnt have a car yet), I was expected to wait in the food court line to get everyone drinks and popcorn. And I could always count on Jenna pointing out what

restitution was expected if I didnt figure it out on my own; Brett, I saved you a seat at lunch. The least you could do is get my salad at the same time as yours. I cringe at the memory of her overly sweet, buttery voice. It had taken me several hundred years and another planet before I had enough distance to see just what a terrible friend she really was. But now heres Andi, giving her support with nothing expected in return except continued friendship. I wonder if she knows just how afraid I am that Brody wont show; that it was all a big joke. So, how was your day? Andi asks with her usual bouncy voice. Not bad, I got my research team and my lab today. Besides that, we mostly read up on the rules, because there wasnt that much data collected during construction for us to study. You? I leave out the part about getting the very same botanist who tried to scold me. Mostly the same. We have work teams, but I think there will be a lot of working independently. Well have our main project and independent projects to work on. Oh, and Jeremys on my team. We mostly read up on rules today too, but I want to get started inventing. I have so many ideas already. Plus, who knows what the scientific teams will bring back for us? We just may get some brand new materials to work with. She leans forward, grabs my hands: I had been knotting and unknotting them without realizing. I drop them to my side and smile apologetically. Do you have a particular material in mind? I can keep an eye out for it. My foot now starts tapping as an outlet for my nervous energy. Andi gives my foot an annoyed look, but then decides to ignore it. No. You never know what might be of use. A plant may have a special energy quality, or a new metal could be easier to work with but stronger than others. Its all so exciting. At this point, Andi is physically bouncing along with her voice. I cant help but think of a child on Christmas Eve. Her excitement over her work isnt helping my nervousness any. She notices. Jeez, Brett! You need to relax. Hell be here, and youll both have a great time. She grabs my hand, which had started twirling my ponytail, and gives it a reassuring squeeze. Jeremy and the rest of Andis group from last night walk over, saving me from further chiding. Why are we all standing around outside? Im hungry; lets eat, Troy demands as he rubs his stomach in an exaggerated motion. Fine. I was just waiting for everyone to get here, Andi smoothly covers for me. Troys stomach responds with an impatient growl. Did you skip lunch or something? Andi stares at him with what is supposed to be a disproving look, but she cant maintain it and her grin breaks through. Guilty as charged. Troy holds up his hands in surrender. Theres just so much to do in the bio-domes that I lost track of time again. Sure, rub it in for the rest of us that you have something to do already, I tease.

Not my fault. Dont blame me. He honestly looks remorseful. Dropping his head down to his chest, he gives me a clear view of his freckled nose and blushing cheeks. Hes more sensitive than I realized. Feeling guilty that my lighthearted teasing hurt his feelings, I quickly say, Hey, Im just kidding. Youre putting the food on our tables; I would be upset if you werent working. I give him my biggest grin to show him that I genuinely mean it. Hey, maybe later this week you can give my team a tour of the bio-domes. His eyes light up as soon as I mention a tour and I know Ive said the right thing. Yeah, that would be great. How about after lunch tomorrow? You can meet me at the east gate. I give myself a mental pat on the back. Ill have to run it by my team first. How about after lunch the next day? Cool, Ill see you then. Then he gestures to the group: Come on. Lets eat. He starts to walk towards the dining hall entrance, but turns back when he notices Im not following. Answering his quizzical look, I explain, Im waiting for someone; Ill catch you guys later. I blush, convinced that everyone just knows the someone is a guy. Well, have fun. Well see you later. Andi turns and leads the group inside, bouncing all the way. Shed be annoying as hell if her energy wasnt so contagious and refreshing. I turn and start walking back and forth. Okay, so Im actually pacing, but my watch says its 6:01. Hes officially late. Now that theres no one to talk to, my mind is free to worry again. It had all been a joke; hes now hiding with his buddies, having a good laugh at my expense. I feel like such a fool. He isnt even my type. But theres no denying it: something about him turned me into a lovestruck fool last night. Or had it? Maybe I was just feeling the after effects of cryogenic sleep and a botched re-awakening. There you are. I spin around at the resonant sound of his voice. Hi, I manage to say as he steps forward and gives me a one-armed hug. He lingers just long enough for me to breathe in his musky aroma. Nope, it wasnt cryogenic sleep. Ready for dinner? He looks at me with an amused smile and offers his arm to lead me. I smile back. Yeah, lets eat. They must be serving Italian tonight, because the entire dining hall has the fragrant aroma of roasted garlic. Usually this would have my mouth watering, but my stomach just gives a nervous flop. So I settle on getting myself a salad. I hope thats not what you consider a meal. Thats not even enough for an appetizer. He looks

at my tray with apprehension. I look over at his tray. He has enough to feed two people, easily. Apparently he has no issues with butterflies. I had a big lunch, so Im not that hungry, I lie. Humph. If you say so. He shrugs. We sit down at a table for two in a secluded corner. It doesnt take me long to find out about Brody. In fact, he rather likes talking about himself. I find out that hes two years older than me and from Texas. He arrived here a year ago as protection for the construction crew. During school he was the center and co-captain of the football team the Soaring Eagles. Once he graduated, he immediately signed up for the Army. I wasnt about to be one of those college geeks, so naturally the Army was the choice for me. The Army must have thought the same thing. I was barely in boot camp for two weeks when they pulled me aside and said they had a special assignment for me. Now, here I am, protecting all of you. He smiles, pleased with himself and presumably thinking that I should be pleased too. He shovels down some more food while I pick at my salad. I feel unsettled by the level of government involvement he inadvertently implied. Wasnt it hard to leave all of your friends and family behind? I ask as he picks up my hand and begins stroking my wrist. Nah, I had already said goodbye to them when I left for boot camp. I frown at his response. How could he act like it was no big deal? I dont think I would have been able to leave if my parents had still been alive. So you didnt see your family again after leaving for boot camp? I pull my hand back as he shakes his head. What did they say when you told them where you were going? I didnt. The recruiter told me that hed take care of all the details. This was all top-secret, so they couldnt be told the truth, he explains. I search his face for any sign of guilt or remorse. None shows. So, as far as you know, your family could have been told you died. Doesnt that bother you even a little bit? The horror I feel must be evident on my face, because he shifts uncomfortably in his chair. Look, it doesnt matter now anyway. Im here and theyre all dead and buried by now. He shrugs. No point moping about the past. He leans forward and grabs a hold of my hand again. I guess thats one way to look at it, I reluctantly say, but I cant help being bothered by his feelings about leaving his family. Oh. I get it. Hes putting on a tough-guy act. And here I am trying to pry into painful memories. Im such a dolt. Whatcha thinking? he asks, ending my mental dialogue. I was just thinking how different we are, I quickly blurt. Not entirely a lie.

He just stares back, apparently perplexed by my response. Hes not my type, but hes handsome. Im sure hes used to girls falling all over him and telling him how wonderful he is. I was starting to get perturbed by his lack of response, but then he leans in, grabs both of my hands and stares at me with those steamy brown eyes, and I forgot what I was so bothered about. Were not so different. Were both beautiful and good at what we do. We just do different things. He smiles at me. My stomach flips. You think Im beautiful? I ask, stunned. Not even Brad had called me beautiful before. The closest he had gotten was cute or pretty. Of course. Thats what got my attention. And now? Still beautiful. He tilts his head and winks at me. Come on; lets go for a walk. He grabs my hand to pull me up. I hide my disappointment. I know hes just trying to be cute, but I was hoping for a response that showed hed since noticed, and appreciated, other things about me. We walk along the perimeter, just holding hands. Neither of us speak. The sun is starting to set. It throws red and purple streaks across the sky. I can see two of the planets three moons just making their appearance along the horizon. One moon looks blue; the other yellow. I wonder what is in the atmosphere, or on the surface of each moon, that causes the differences. Then I chide myself for over analyzing the beauty before me. Suddenly, I hear what sounds like a fisher cat screech. Involuntarily, I jump. Brody pulls me toward him, saying, Dont worry. Ill protect you from whatevers out there. Somehow, I know he truly means and believes it. We slowly make our way back towards the dorms and recreation halls. I told the guys Id meet them for some pool. Its kind of a guy thing. Oh, thats okay. I told Andi Id meet up with her if I got a chance. I wonder if he notices the annoyed edge in my voice. Ill meet you for dinner again. The night after tomorrow. You can meet the guys then. Again, no questioning. He just assumes I wont refuse. For a moment Im tempted to say no, but as he pulls me close the thought just seems silly. Okay, six oclock again? I ask. Yeah, six oclock, but at dining hall A. Thats where the guys meet, he explains. Okay. I stare at the ground, unsure of just how to say goodbye. Hes running off to play pool instead of staying with me not a good sign. But then, he also wants me to meet his friends and I guess thats a good thing. He takes my uncertainty as shyness, and decides to take matters into his own hands. I feel him

wrap his arms around my waist as he easily lifts, turns, and pins me. My back is now against the dormitory wall. He leans in closer, merging our bodies together, and then bends in to kiss me. I hold my breath in anticipation, but the moment seems to linger on. I feel my heart give a hard thump as my pulse begins to race, and I know I will wait here all night if it takes him that long to kiss me. My hands instinctively reach up and around his neck to pull him in closer. I feel his heat as my hands close upon the rough hair of his neck. I feel a strange ache in my chest, and know that I need to feel his kiss. Impatiently, I rise up on my toes and close the remaining distance. My lips lightly brush against his, and I feel a wave of heat surge through me. Then, all of a sudden, his lips crush down to meet mine. His kiss is hard and rough, but his lips move with mine in an urgent frenzy. I part my lips and the kiss deepens. His lips are aflame, making mine blister in sweet pleasure, and I want more of him. I drop my arms to his waist, and attempt to pull him closer, to somehow meld our bodies into one. I feel his hand drop from my waist and cup the seat of my jeans, pressing me to him. His other hand rises up and roughly feels my curves. My breath is coming in shallow pants as I feel his hand dip under my shirt and back up again. Yeah, ride him, baby! The catcall startles me, and I jerk my face away. Embarrassment comes crashing down on me as I realize just what Im doing. I actually have one of my legs curved around his thigh. I push him away, mortified. In two minutes time, I have gone further with this near-stranger than I had with Brad during the six months we were together. I I dont know what came over me, I say to the ground, unable to meet Brodys eyes. I should go. I feel his fingers press against my chin as he gently lifts my face to meet his eyes. Dont be mad at me. His face looks as confused as I feel. Im not mad just surprised with myself. I shake my face free and turn away. Ill still see you at dinner? He squeezes my hand and gives me a sweet smile when I nod . Okay. Goodnight, he says. He briefly pulls me close and kisses my forehead. Goodnight, I whisper back, as he turns and heads toward the recreation hall. I consider finding Andi, but then decide I need some time to figure out just what happened, and just what is going on with me. So I walk, retracing my steps along the perimeter. Maybe I should check in with the hospital. Maybe my hormones really are out of whack. Of course, with my luck, Dr. Emily would be the doctor on call. I can just imagine the smug look on her face as she diagnoses me with being a slut. I quickly dismiss that idea, but then I draw a blank. The only explanation I can think of is Brody himself. Despite our differences, Im incredibly attracted to Brody, to the point that I lose all self-control.

The thought is daunting. My heart is still healing from Brads betrayal. If Im falling this hard and this fast for Brody, can my heart survive the trauma if he decides to hurt me too? You really are anxious to get outside, arent you? I turn and see Ryan walking my way. What, you dont get enough of my company in the lab, so youre following me now? I feign a worried look, but Im actually relieved to have a distraction from my thoughts. I guess were just kindred spirits, both drawn to the fence like a moth to a flame. He laughs, holding his hands up in a surrender gesture. I really mean no harm. Well I guess youre welcome to walk with me then. I gesture to my side. He falls into step, and we continue on our way. As we walk, he asks more questions about me. He wants to know about my favorite music, my favorite movies, and my favorite books. When I ask him what his favorite book is, he blushes. You can tell me. I wont laugh or anything. His sudden shyness intrigues me. Well, I like Shakespeare, he quietly admits. Thats nothing to be embarrassed about, I insist. You didnt grow up in my family, he glumly protests. Seeing my confused look, he adds, My dad, mom and two older brothers were all really into hockey. My sister was the only one who understood that there was more to life than a little black puck. He mimes hitting an imaginary puck. Ah so, macho men cant read anything that resembles a love story. I try to convey my understanding in my tone. Seeing his face drop, I quickly add, But anyone thats really read Shakespeare knows theres a lot more to his writing that love stories and tragedies. Theres a lot of blood, gore and action too. Personally, Im a fan of his comedies. He smiles back. See? Kindred spirits. A dry laugh escapes him. My family was under the impression that I had an extraordinarily large amount of book reports due. He laughs, but I can see the sadness in his eyes. Maybe there is more to Ryan than I originally gave him credit for. Im tempted to ask him how he went from a family of six to foster care, but then Id have to open up about my past. Im already too emotional; that talk would certainly start up the waterworks. I look up and notice were by the east fence. Hey, do you want to visit the bio-domes the day after tomorrow? I ask, trying to lighten the mood. Sure, but dont we need to get permission? A friend of mine, Troy, offered to show our team after lunch, I explain. Okay, sure, thatll give us something to do. Im almost done with the handbook. I catch a flash

of disappointment on his face. I wonder what thats about. He looks fine now; maybe it was just my imagination. Me too. I figure tomorrow Ill start familiarizing myself with all the equipment in the lab. Youre welcome to join me if you like, I offer. Sounds good. Maybe we can start a DNA test on that sample you were looking at, he says offhandedly, like its no big deal. My cheeks redden somewhat. Oh, I didnt realize you had noticed that. Yeah a DNA test would be interesting. I guess I hadnt been as discreet as I thought but he couldnt have gotten that close of a look or hed be questioning where I got the sample from. So are they hairs blown through the fence from your mysterious creature? His tone is now hopeful, and I see the curiosity in his eyes. I hadnt been discreet at all. Yeah, I think so, I admit, without going into the full detail of how I actually obtained them. Well, its getting late. Im going to hit the gym before bed. Do you want me to walk you back? He gestures in the direction of the dorms. Im headed in that direction anyway, so yeah. I shrug, keeping my hands in my pockets. Were both quiet on the way back, but its comfortable silence. We listen to the various night creatures calling to each other. One in particular reminds me of peep toads and my childhood summers. As we approach the recreation halls, Ryan slows to a stop. He turns and stares at me. Well, goodnight, he says, leaning in and placing a hand on my arm. Im alarmed as I realize hes about to kiss me. Quickly, I turn and give him a friendly punch on the shoulder. Goodnight. Dont work out too hard, I say jokingly. I dont look back, but continue on towards the library. I only hope my pretend miscommunication spares him any embarrassment. We do have to work together, after all. If he got a look at my face, hed know I hadnt misread his intentions at all. Im beet red from blushing. I cant believe my luck. Im so mad at myself. Without meaning to, I have sent all the wrong messages to Ryan. Ugh. It figures: when I have no intention of starting a relationship, I end up with two guys. I head hurriedly to the library to find Andi. Well, judging by the time, you must have had a good first date Brett, whats wrong? Andi stands up, noticing the bewildered look on my face. Ive made a mess of things with Ryan, I grumble. Wait, Ryan? Andi pauses and waits for me to correct my apparent mistake. When I dont, she continues, Werent you out with Brody? Ive definitely missed something, she says, shaking her head. Andi stops as the librarian gives us both a disapproving glare. Follow me. Theres roof access

from the east stairwell; we can get some privacy up there. Andi gestures towards a door in the far corner, and leads the way for me. I blurt the whole night out to Andi. She just sits there with a bemused expression on her face. So your problem is you have two guys that like you. Now this is a catastrophe. She tries her best not to laugh. Its not funny. I glare at her. She knows my history with Brad. I expect her to be more sympathetic. Its a bit funny. How many girls do you think would love to be in your shoes right now? And that includes me. She gives me a look that clearly says Im being overly dramatic. Look, you just need to get over your virtuous self. Just because things got a bit hot and heavy tonight doesnt mean anything more than you got a little carried away. Not every guy you meet is going to be a sleazeball like Brad. So give Brody and Ryan a chance; they both might just surprise you. Her voice takes on a mother-knows-best tone, and I cant help but roll my eyes at her. Yeah, but you dont have to work with the one you rejected every day. I throw my hands up in frustration. So youre definitely picking Brody? She looks doubtful. Well yeah No I dont know if I want to pick anyone. I drop head into my hands, confused and frustrated. Well, from what you said, you have nothing in common with Brody except a hot, passionate attraction. But, on the other hand, Ryan and you are more alike. She gives me her knowing look that I have become familiar with. So you think Im making a mistake with Brody? I ask defensively. She shakes her head at my puzzled expression. Im not saying that. You just might want to keep your options open for a bit, thats all. Realizing what shes implying, I blurt back, I cant string one guy along just in case it doesnt work out with the other. I fold my arms tightly across my chest. Thats very noble of you, Brett, but girls and guys do it all the time. Just dont completely squash Ryans hopes for now. Let him wonder if all youre interested in really is friendship. If he really likes you, hell string along, waiting to see if you change your mind. Andi leans back and crosses her arms, giving me a devilish grin. That way you can give yourself the time you need to see if theres anything more to this Brody thing. I never knew you could be so devious, I chide. Id like to think of it as being practical. She shrugs as if to say, What did you expect? Well, its probably a moot point; Ryan just may hate me after tonight. I look down at the time

and jump up. Weve got to go; theres only ten minutes until curfew. Okay, its off to bed we go, Andi chirps as she skips towards the door. If hes really mad at you tomorrow, just continue to act clueless about the almost-kiss. If you keep it up, eventually hell blame his signals for the miscommunication and try again with you. So devious, I chide again. I still say just practical. She gives a dramatic bow and gestures towards the door shes holding open for me. I cant help but laugh. In such a short time, I had become closer to Andi than I had ever been with Jenna. What would I do without Andis lighthearted love of life to keep me balanced?

Chapter 6 The next day in the lab, its clear that Id been right. Ryan is polite towards me. There is no tension, but no joking either: he is strictly business. I figure its best if I follow Andis advice. I just play along, and I dont question him about it. Its not that I want him to try kissing me again, but I am the one who sent the mixed signals and hurt him. If I can do something to remove those hurt feelings, I should. Both Molly and Jake have finished reading the handbook, so they join in, familiarizing themselves with the lab. As we go through the laboratory, I bring up the idea of touring the bio-domes tomorrow; they like it. The lab exploration doesnt take long, and when were finished I decide to test the DNA. I explain where I found the hairs before Molly or Jake has a chance to question me. As it turns out, four people is overkill for testing a single sample. Finally, after having enough of Jakes suggestions, I decide everyone else should run a DNA test on their own hair. I claim its so we have something to compare the sample to. Im relieved to see Jake enthusiastically pulling out some of his hair. Do you mind if I just stay and work with you? Ryan asks, still being exceedingly cordial. Sure, thats fine with me. Im hopeful that Andi was right. We have our sample ready in no time. Ryan seems to anticipate every step and has everything ready before I ask. Im pleased to see that we work so well together. Now all that is left to do with the sample is wait. Do you want to go to lunch? I ask, seeing both Molly and Jake are still busy with their samples. Sorry, not today, I have lunch plans. It might be my imagination, but he seems to have a guilty look. Oh, alright. Well Ill see you after lunch. I wave and head out the door, not wanting him to think Im disappointed. Im determined not to send him any more mixed signals. Yeah, see ya, he calls after me. I head over to the dining halls and eat my first meal alone. Its not as pathetic as I imagined it would be. Unlike high school, its not the social kiss of death. Theres no set time for lunch, so there are quite a few people sitting by themselves. Of course, now that Im here I wish I had thought to bring a book with me. I quickly finish eating so that Ill have plenty of time to get something from the library. At least Ill have something to do after lunch. I hardly noticed the library last night; I had been too preoccupied. Its not very large. I notice

its arranged more for comfort than study. Unlike the town or school library back home, this library lacks little cubicle-like desks and tables scattered about. Instead, there is a collection of various ergonomic chairs, recliners, ottomans, and even a few bean-bag seats. I head to the main desk to ask where the fiction is. The librarian informs me that its almost all fiction; the few exceptions are selfhelp books. Taking pity on my bewildered look, she continues by telling me that the recreation library is for entertainment only, and any non-fiction data is accessible through all the computers on the base. She also offers me a reading pad, in case I prefer to download my selections. Seeing my hesitation, she adds that I can download any of the music I want right onto the pad as well. So I accept the pad, select Much Ado About Nothing and Thinner, and head back towards the lab. Thats when I notice Ryan. Hes walking out of a dining hall, hand-in-hand with a tall girl with a supermodel figure. I stare for a moment, unable to believe what Im seeing. The girl wraps her arm around Ryans waist, and he runs his fingers through her ebony hair. My face suddenly feels hot with fury. Well he certainly recovers quickly, I mutter to myself. The hurt and embarrassment I feel churns my stomach. What did he do, leave me and ask out the very next girl he ran into? Or was I the one who totally misread his intentions last night? I take the long way back to the lab. I need time to calm down and think rationally. I wasnt dating him, I hadnt even kissed him, and I had no plans to either. I will be the bigger person and say nothing. We are simply colleagues, nothing more. Ive managed to calm myself down by the time I re-enter the lab. Molly and Jake are still at lunch, so Ryan is the only one there. So what are your plans for the afternoon? he asks me. I resist snapping, None of your business, and coolly reply, Exploring the computer database. All the non-fiction is located there. I want to see how user-friendly it is. Good to know. I think Ill do the same. He walks over to his computer and turns it on. Copycat. With my back towards him, I roll my eyes. Well, maybe I havent calmed down entirely just yet, but I can still be the bigger person and not outwardly show my anger. The search engine is decent. I have no problem finding any information I search for. Im sure it helps that the only information in the database is credible non-fiction and free of advertisements. Soon, Jake and Molly are back from lunch, and they join us exploring the database. It keeps us busy for the rest of the day. After work, I meet Andi, but I refrain from telling her about Ryan and his new girlfriend. Its just too embarrassing, and I dont want to make a big deal about it. He doesnt actually mean anything

to me, anyway. Hey, guess what day today is? Andi perkily asks, hardly able to contain herself. I dont know. What is today? I ask, playing along with her guessing game. Tuesday, April sixth, she chirps excitedly. Okay. My response is flat; Im underwhelmed by her announcement. Then she commands, Now guess how many days are in April. But she doesnt wait for me to answer: Thirty-five, she proudly announces. What? I snap back in a tone that says shes lost her frigging marbles. We created a new calendar for this world. A bigger planet and larger orbit mean a longer year. There are 420 days in a year here. Our first assignment was to create a calendar that incorporated the extra days. We decided to keep the months and holidays the same as on Earth, and added extra days to the end of each month. We added the days on to keep the seasons relatively similar, too. We figured a bit of familiarity will help everyone adjust. We submitted it yesterday and just got word back this afternoon that its been approved. Andi is beaming with satisfaction. Not a bad idea. Congratulations, I comment as I pat her on the back. In a whim, I add, Are there still seven days a week and twenty-four hours in a day? Actually, no. There are seven days in a week still, but there are twenty-six hours in a day here; weve just been sleeping though them. My face drops with her response. I had just been joking. So thats why I feel so rested in the morning, Ive been getting ten hours of sleep a night. It seems to get dark at the normal hour here or, the same hour as Earth, as least. But its bright and sunny when we wake up. Does that mean were sleeping through two hours of usable light in the morning? Im still trying to grasp the idea of missing two hours a day without knowing it. Yeah. But Im pretty sure that theyre going to gradually adjust us to the twenty-six hours, Andi adds, seeing the look on my face, but I cant help but feel a bit duped. After all, the clocks and watches dont show the extra hours, but the time is accurate each morning which meant they must be programmed for them. The next morning we start studying the DNA we extracted. Im surprised when Dr. Brant drops in to visit us. I quickly explain what were doing, and I make it clear I should be the one who takes the blame and no one else. I also add that weve already finished everything that was asked of us. Good initiative, she nods as my mouth drops open. It takes me a moment to recover. Shes not mad. It may take all of you some time to get used to being treated like adults. But you are, and you dont need to ask permission for every step you take. I simply ask that you follow the rules in the handbook and practice good judgment. Now dont get me wrong: you are not being given free rein to

do whatever you wish; I expect regular reports on your work. If I have an issue with anything I read I will bring it to your team leader to address it accordingly. Our team leader? Ryan speaks up. There is no mistaking the interest on his face. Im not sure how I feel about Ryan being my boss. Yes, I will get to that in a bit. Right now, I want to review what everyone has accomplished this week. Dr. Brant walks over to Molly and begins asking her questions as they walk over to her computer. Out of politeness the rest of us busy ourselves with work though, of course, were all still listening. But I soon forget Dr. Brant is even there. The DNA sample steals my attention. As I suspected, I didnt have enough starting material for the sequencer computer to do very much with. Nevertheless, I start cataloging what I have on the twenty-four pairs of chromosomes my furry male friend has. I hope to add to it, one day, when I find my violet-eyed creature again. I review Mollys and Jakes results to see how they came up. Yup, theyre both human. I turn and look up. Dr. Brant is standing over my shoulder, smiling at me. Sorry. I didnt notice you, I answer meekly. Nothing to apologize for. Good concentration cant be taught. Dr. Brant has already spoken to everyone else, so there isnt much for me to do but confirm what she already knows. Touring the greenhouses today was your idea? Yes, thats not a problem, is it? Dang, I knew my good luck couldnt last. No, not a problem. She smiles and turns to address all of us. I have to say, Im pleased with what Ive seen so far. Youre the first team to show real initiative and do more than just what was asked. Accordingly, I think you should be the first team out in the field. Im taking each team on their first visit, starting next week. Monday will be your turn. You should all receive a new calendar in your email today. Today is Wednesday. Youve got two work days of prep and time to enjoy the weekend. The first visit will only be two days in length, but if you do well, you will be able to start working on your own in the field. I will get your assigned search grids to your team lead. We stand, waiting for her to name the person, but instead she starts to leave. Dr. Brant? I call after her. Yes, Brett? She turns back around and looks at me. Who is the team lead? Sorry, I thought it was so apparent that I forgot to say it. You are, Brett. Dr. Brant turns and walks out of the lab. I hear a grumble from Ryans direction. I give a sidelong glance to Ryan and note a sour look on his face. Molly and Jake start to congratulate me.

Excuse me for a minute. I run out of the lab after Dr. Brant. I catch up to her as shes about to enter the next lab. Brett, how can I help you? she asks, surprised to see me. I think you made a mistake. Im not a leader, I stammer. I will have to disagree with you on that point. Youve shown your leadership skills already. Just look at what your team has done already under your leadership. Theres a detailed description of the duties and responsibilities of the team lead in the database. Take a look at it. Im sure itll ease your worries. But I wasnt trying to lead anyone, I protest. It may not have been your intention, but from what your teammates tell me, you were the one who started familiarizing them with the lab equipment and the computer database. You arranged the DNA testing and the visit to the greenhouse. Every other team finished their reading and twiddled their thumbs. But thanks to you, your team has remained productive and is ahead of the others. Im confident in my decision. Her tone tells me the conversation is finished. But I start to disagree, but she cuts me off. Remember, Brett, the best leaders dont lead; theyre followed. She turns and enters the next lab, cutting any further protestations short. I cant believe her decision. The one comfortable thing about high school was that you knew what exactly was expected of you, what you needed to do. Now there is no one giving us step-by-step directions. Its up to us no, up to me to decide how to proceed. The idea is daunting. I never asked for this responsibility. Dr. Brant is so graceful, eloquent and confident. Im none of those things. How could she expect me to lead a team on my own? I slowly make my way back to my lab, thinking about the team I am now expected to lead. Jakes a bit of a clown, and thinks he is an authority on everything. There isnt a topic that he doesnt have an opinion on. This type of personality is a definite turn-off for most people, but it doesnt bother me, and I can deal with it easily enough. I figure his know-it-all attitude is overcompensation for the baby face that must have earned him child-like treatment most of his life. As long as I keep him busy and respect him, hell be happy. Molly by nature is a little shy. She needs encouragement to trust her instincts and make her own decisions. Jake tends to take advantage of her nature, and I was already frequently coming to her aid to redirect his focus so she could work on her own, without Jake telling her the right way to do everything. She is sensitive, too the type of person who would grieve over killing a fly. I guess its a good thing that shell be working with rocks. I havent figured out Ryan yet, but I know if he opposes my being team lead, he could make all

our lives exceedingly difficult. I just hope hell choose to act like an adult, though his initial response is unpromising. I head back to our lab, and find Molly and Jake waiting to finish congratulating me. Where is Ryan? I ask, noticing his absence. He headed out to lunch. He said hell meet us at the east gate. Mollys eyes dart to Jake and then back to me. Mollys not a good liar. Apparently, omitting the fact that Ryan is pissed is enough of a lie to make her uncomfortable. So Ryans mad that Im the team lead. Its not a question, but my attempt to let them both off the hook. A bit. I heard him mutter something about wed all be running to pet any creature we meet. He wasnt making much sense. Hes probably just disappointed that its not him and that he didnt do more to stand out this week. If he knew we were in competition, he probably would have acted differently to get the job. Good point. Jakes insight surprises me. Well I hope you both understand I didnt want or ask for this, I point out humbly. We know. Boss, Jake says, snickering. I roll my eyes. Like it or not, youre stuck with us now, he smirks. I groan. Come on; lets get lunch. I head towards the door and motion for them to follow. As promised, Ryan is waiting at the east gate after lunch. He looks like hes in a better mood, at least. Hey, Boss. He greets me with a goofy smile. You can still call me Brett, I chide. Yes, maam. He salutes me. I scowl back at him, and he chuckles. Im relieved. I can handle him being a goof, if thats how he chooses to deal with it. Troy walks over to greet us. Both Jake and Ryan are pretty tall, but Troy is a full head taller. I hadnt noticed how tall he was before. He runs a hand through his bright hair and nervously says hi to everyone. I smile back in encouragement, and tell him how excited we all are to see the domes. Troy gives us a full tour of the bio-domes. There are acres and acres of them. Any Earth-based plants or animals are contained in the bio-domes to prevent contamination until we know enough about what the effects of each will be on the planet and vice versa. Its astonishing to see just how many plants can be crammed into a small space when grown vertically. Our last stop of the day is at the cattle bio-dome. So all these cows were in cryogenic sleep? I ask. He nods and I have to laugh; it just seems so absurd. We were all in cryogenic sleep, Troy responds defensively. Again Ive forgotten how

sensitive he is but try as I might to stop laughing, I only giggle more. I know. I just keep picturing the doctors trying to get the cows, pigs and chickens to cooperate as they were loaded onto the ship. I try to look apologetic, but my smirk spoils it. Fortunately, Troy laughs back. Yeah, that would have been something to see. I dont see any bulls. I look around to see if I had missed one. You wont at least, not until the first calves are born, Troy states matter-of-factly. Artificial insemination? I wonder. Yup, as soon as the time is right. He seems to be feeling more comfortable in his tour guide position now and adds, We need them to have calves to get milk. And any bulls that are born? Molly asks hesitantly. I cringe in anticipation of her reaction to what I already know the answer is. Well keep one or two, but the rest will be dinner, Troy answers bluntly. Uh, the poor things. Molly crosses her arms and pouts. Are you a vegetarian? Troy asks cautiously. No, she admits, but shes still pouting. Can you let us know when the calves are born? Id love to come back and visit them. I honestly do want to see them. Baby calves are so cute, but I also want to change the topic before Molly gets herself too worked up. We head back after seeing the cows. The tour took up the more of the day than I had expected. Now its so late that I wont have time to shower before meeting Brody, and Im all sweaty from walking between the domes. I figure Ill meet him and politely ask for a rain check. Brody is waiting when I get to the dining hall. He looks a bit miffed. I was beginning to think you stood me up, he says sternly. I look at my watch. Its 6:03. Im not that late. But, uh, Im sorry. We got caught up at work, and I didnt realize the time. I didnt even get a chance to shower, and Im all sweaty still. Do you mind if I cancel, and meet your friends another night? I try to sound as apologetic as I can. He grabs me around the waist and pulls me to him, inhaling. Actually, I think you smell kinda sexy. He buries his face in my neck. I have to stop myself from saying, Ewww. But Im a mess, I protest. You look fine to me. Come on, lets eat. He grabs me by the hand and pulls me towards the dining hall. Hes not going to allow me to postpone. Because Im longing for a shower, I feel uncomfortable the entire meal. It doesnt help any that most of Brodys friends brought their girlfriends tonight. Even if the men dont notice my lack of

grooming, Im sure the girls do. Most of dinner consisted of two conversations: one for the guys, one for the girls. Im relieved when the first couple leaves. I use the moment to excuse myself, and Brody follows. Why the rush to leave? He sounds hurt. Im sorry, Brody, I just felt really uncomfortable without having a shower. I mentally roll my eyes at having to re-explain myself. I told you, you look fine. He still doesnt get the point. I walk towards my dorm, still intent on a shower, and annoyed that he doesnt understand why. When I reach the door, Brody grabs my shoulder and turns me toward him. I look up as he leans his face down toward mine and tightens one arm around my waist. He runs his other hand through my ponytail, gently pushing my face closer to his. This time there is no lingering or hesitation. His lips meet mine, brushing gently across them for a moment, then pressing down. His tongue parts my lips and finds its way in. He kisses me hard. My lips start to hurt from the pressure, but I dont care. I kiss him right back. Heat flows through every inch of my body, fueling my desire. My arms encircle him, pulling him closer to me. Nothing exists beyond this moment. I want it to last forever, but before Im ready, he pulls away. He takes his time looking me up and down, like Im a puzzle hes trying to solve. He reaches out and brushes a stray hair from my face. Were going swimming tomorrow night if you want to come. We meet at seven oclock. Its the first time hes asked me instead of just assuming. Swimming sounds fun, sure, I say softly. I step closer, closing our distance, hoping to finish the kiss he ended too soon. Instead, Brody kisses my hair and whispers, Go and enjoy your shower now. Ill see you tomorrow. With a quick squeeze of my hand, he turns and heads back towards the rec halls. I head into the dorm to take my shower, to wash off the sweat, to cool myself down, and hopefully get some rationality back. I dont know why Im feeling so disgruntled that Brody left. I was the one who wanted a shower so badly. And now that I can, I feel abandoned by him, because I couldnt finish my kiss. After my shower, I still have a while before curfew. So I decide to take a walk. I catch myself absentmindedly rubbing my lips. They are slightly swollen: it really had been a hard kiss. Ill have to go to the supply store and get some ChapStick if were going to be kissing like that again. A smile spreads across my face at the thought of kissing Brody some more. Then the bliss is disrupted I trip over my own feet and land on my hands and knees on the dusty ground. Im sure to have some pretty bruises tomorrow. Too bad theyre taking their sweet time to finish the landscaping. Some grass would have at least cushioned my fall. That gives me an idea. I dust myself off and head down to the racquetball courts to see if Troy

is with Andi. Luckily he is, so I pull him aside, and ask him a few more questions about the biodomes. By the time we finish talking, its almost curfew.

Chapter 7 We spend the next morning in the lab deciding what to bring on our field visit. Jake suggests I bring a few traps to see what I can catch. I decline, explaining that I want to observe what there is first. So youre just going to let another team beat us to the first specimen? His tone is incredulous. Jake, you can catch, examine and dissect all the insects you want. Im not stopping you. Theres a limit to how much we can carry, and I just feel that we can obtain more useful information by placing motion-detection cameras. Look at it this way: another team may catch the equivalent to Earths raccoon goodie for them. But the cameras can catch everything thats out there, including what may decide to stalk us. Which information do you think will be more useful? My tone is adamant. He makes a face. Yeah, I see your point. It would just be cool to catch something bigger than a spider, he begrudgingly admits. Well if you do catch a spider, its all yours. Theyre certainly not my favorite creature to be around. Jake balks at me. Are you telling me our fearless leader, our biologist, is afraid of spiders? Now hes in the middle of a laughing fit. Im glad I can amuse you. Im just not fond of them. Ive held a few tarantulas in my life. It just wasnt my favorite experience. Besides, did you ever see the movie Arachnophobia? He shakes his head no, and I explain: Its an older movie from the late 80s, my dad thought it was absolutely hysterical. Needless to say, I didnt. It had spiders the size of a dinner plate, found in the middle of the Amazon. You might want to re-think wanting to catch something larger than a spider. I snicker and then leave him to his laughter. I walk over to Ryan and say, Can I ask you something? I try to keep my voice indifferent, remembering his response to me becoming the team lead. Go ahead, shoot, he offers as he continues to review his packing list. Id like to find some grass we can use here on the base for landscaping. Can you help me? I ask in my most innocent tone. Just because youre the leader doesnt mean you get to decide what I collect. I look down and notice Ryans hands have balled into fists. Apparently, asking nicely doesnt work with him. Ryan, come on, dont you think I know that? Thats why Im asking and not telling you, I plead, appealing to his rational side. I guess I can keep an eye out, but its not going to be that simple. I should be glad hes

agreeing, but his tone is condescending. It will take time studying and cultivating the samples to determine just how invasive the species is, and to make sure its doesnt have any unexpected qualities. We dont have a large enough area to accomplish that. I struggle to maintain my composure. I dont like him talking down to me like this, and I dont like the fact that hes arguing with me under the guise of agreeing. Reminding myself to stay calm and sound nonchalant, I remark, I know. Thats why I talked to Troy last night. Besides our field labs, I found out that there are unused bio-domes along the northwest side of the base. Theyve been set aside specifically for our use. I figure you could utilize the domes for all your research. I hope hell focus on that and be excited about the new space I had found him, but Im not that lucky. So asking me is pretty much a pretense. He crosses his arms and huffs at me. You already have the next several months planned out for me. Ryan, no. Its not like that. I had an idea, but before I brought it up to you and just dumped it in your lap, I wanted to make sure it was feasible. I watch his scowl deepen. Look, initially I dont expect to get that much data to study. You dont have to commit all of your time to the project. I can collect the samples and work on the research. That way youre still free to work on what you choose. Im starting to get irked; by the look on his face, it seems anything I say is going to be wrong. So my choices are to help you or youll just take over my job? Hes glaring at me now. Remain calm. I forced a deep breath. Ryan, is this really about me asking for your help, or is this about me being made the team lead? I calmly demand, hoping that the shaking I feel isnt visible. This is about you thinking the title of team lead gives you the right to take everything over and micro-manage everyone. He turns his back towards me and stares at his list, apparently dismissing me. Im sorry you feel that way. I simply saw that the base has a need, and I figured we could do something about it. But if you feel that strongly about it, we can wait and let one of the other teams research landscaping materials. They can get credit for it. I pause to let the comment sink in, then say, Im going to the supply store, I suggest you use the time to calm down. I refrain from adding, And start thinking rationally. I turn and head for the door, but then I pause. Molly, Jake, would either of you like to come? Jake decides to stay behind, so its just Molly and I. Ive never actually taken the time to look through the store. I know most of what I need will be catalog items, but I still need to distract myself and calm down. So I busy myself by looking around the store while Molly finds the items she needs. The store reminds me of an old-fashioned mom and pop store. It has a little bit of everything crammed into every possible corner. The only difference is there are no little price tags stickered

onto everything. I pause at a glass case in the corner of the store. It is locked and filled with very fancy rings. Most of them are diamonds. The clerk notices me staring and comes over to assist. Sorry, but those are only available to men, she informs me, a giggle in her voice. So these are all Yes, theyre all engagement rings. She flushes pink as she answers. But then why are they on display? Shouldnt they be a catalog item? Its not like anyones going to need them anytime soon. I shake my head in amazement. First the married housing, now the rings. Looks like someone wants us to get married and start popping out kids sooner than later. Actually Ive already had two selected. She lets out a long sigh. I cant wait until my boyfriend decides to get me one. She has a dreamy, faraway look on her face. Well good luck on that. I grab the ChapStick I need and, rolling my eyes, I head over to Molly and the catalog. If shes pestering him for marriage after less than a week, the only thing hes going to do is run away screaming. Im sure the two other rings are in the pockets of boys waiting to use them just so they can get lucky. I spend the remainder of my time in the shop ordering catalog items and avoiding the clerk. Shed weirded me out too much with her marriage talk. By the time Molly and I return to the lab, Ryan has calmed down. Behind Ryans back, Jake gives me a thumbs up and mouths, Were good. I shoot him a thankful look, and I dont bring the grass up again. We spend the rest of the day reviewing our inventory. That night Im late meeting Andi and the group for dinner. Almost everyone is there the only exception is Troy. Is Troy working through another meal? I inquire. No; Hazel. Zachary rolls his eyes in disgust. Im confused. He always seemed to get along with Troy. Who or what is Hazel? I ask quizzically. Hazel is the girl he just met, and now needs to spend every free minute with, looking all lovestruck and stupid, Wendy chimes in, lacking her usually sweet tone. Obviously shes just as unhappy as Zachary about the development. Is there something wrong with her? I wonder out loud. Hazel is a perfectly nice girl. In fact, shes one of the administrators in charge of base functions. These two are just upset that theyve lost their friend for a while. Ive already explained to them that they just need to wait it out. Eventually, the newness of the relationship will wear off.

Theyll get Troy back, and maybe even a new addition to our dinner group. Andi gives everyone her knowing look, daring them to argue. Zach and Wendy just push the food around their plates and pout. After dinner, I head down to the pool and change. It will be nice to enjoy some water and put the day and its stresses behind me. I enter the pool area and smile. Brody and his friends are already in the pool, playing water volleyball. I hop into the water and swim over to Brodys side in the deep end. You might have an easier time on the other side where you can touch the bottom, one of his friends suggests with a patronizing smirk. Thanks, Ill be fine over here. I swim into the front row. The sides are now even, six to six. I catch sight of Brodys friend shooting him a look. I smile to myself; they dont know about swim team. The other side apparently views me as a weak point. They keep directing the ball at me, but after I repeatedly propel myself out of the water to hit the ball back, several times spiking it, they change their minds. I glance back at Brody and smile, but he doesnt look happy. I wonder if he has had a crummy day too. After the game everyone decides to take their turns at the high-dive. I sit back and watch, taking advantage of the time to talk to Brody. Why do you look so grumpy? Bad day? I grab his hand and run my fingers along his wrist. No. I wait for him to explain, but instead he pulls his hand away and walks over to the highdive ladder. Confused, I stare after him and wonder if I did something wrong. Is he still mad at me for leaving dinner early the other night? They all take their turns jumping off the ladder feet first. I wince as they all flail their arms and legs around on the way down. Everyone lands with the inevitable slap of skin against water. After jumping, Brody walks back over and gives me a kiss. I pull back from the kiss quickly. Im definitely not comfortable with intentional public displays. Brody notices and settles for wrapping his arm over my shoulders. Another slap of skin meeting the water makes me cringe. Caleb notices. What, is the high-dive too scary for you? he teases. No, I answer flatly. Dont lie. Youve been shivering, scared the whole time weve been jumping. His eyes have a mischievous glint to them. I just think it shouldnt be so painful, I admit. Its just stings for a second when you land, but its worth the rush. You can have the rush without the pain or risk or injury, I respond unenthusiastically. Im not letting him draw me into the game hes trying to play even though I know Id win.

Admit it: youre scared. I look around and noticed that all of Brodys friends have gathered around us. I look up at Brody. He tries to comfort me. It okay that youre scared. But Im not, I insist. Then prove it, Riley demands. Joining in, goading me. Just like a girl: all talk, but no action, Caleb snorts. Anger twinges in my stomach. Thats it. He has gone too far. Okay, fine. Ill go, but dont say I didnt warn you. I stop to jab Caleb in the chest as I pass. And when I get down, I expect an apology from you. I walk over to the ladder and climb to the top. From below I hear them taunting me, saying that Ill chicken out. Someone is even clucking. Some friends Brody has . I walk to the end of the board as gracefully as I can, and pivot on my toes, so my back faces the end. I give a quick glance down and see them all watching in silence now, apparently wondering what Im up too. Smiling, I bend my legs and spring back up, arching my back in the air. I flip backwards, tuck myself into a ball, and complete two backwards somersaults, before untucking and gracefully diving into the water with a small splash. It wouldnt have received high scores with any judges that I know from experience but Im sure its enough to accomplish what I need. I climb out of the water, satisfied to see that they are all speechless. Nice, Riley finally manages to say. Everyone follows with murmurs of agreement. I look directly at Caleb. Well I guess I was wrong. Im going to the gym. Caleb turns and heads for the locker room. Everyone else follows. I make my way to the girls locker room and quickly change. When I walk outside, Brody is waiting for me. I smile and walk over to him. My smile fades as I see the look on Brodys face. He looks pissed. Whats the matter? I ask, confused. So did you just meet me tonight to embarrass me? he huffs. What are you talking about? Just how did I embarrass you? I spit back, abashed. First you jump in front of me in volleyball, as if I cant manage on my own. Then you refuse a kiss in front of everyone, and decide to show off on the high-dive. His lips press together in a tight line as he crosses his arms. My confusion is replaced with fury. Is that how you see it? I think about mentioning how chauvinistic and just plain wrong he is, but decide that might be counterproductive. Instead I focus on the accusations. First of all, it was your friends that kept hitting the ball at me, and I was in the first row. The back rows job is to get whatever is beyond the first rows reach. Im sorry, but everything was in my reach. Second, you never bothered asking me how I felt about public displays of affection;

if you had you would have known they make me uncomfortable. And finally, I was perfectly fine not jumping. It was your friends that started it, I just happened to finish it. And Ill do it again the next time they imply I cant do something because Im a girl. I start to walk away. Wait, he calls after me. What? I snap. Sorry. He sighs. There is a defeated expression on his face. The guys were harassing me in the locker room, and I let it get the better of me. He reaches over, pulls me to him and kisses me. The kiss is brief. You smell like chlorine, is all he says. Then he walks away, heading toward the gym. I watch him leave, baffled. Boys. I just cant figure them out. Time crawls extremely slowly over the next three days. On Friday, Ryan is once again overly polite towards me. Hes obviously still irritated about the grass. I just hope that his mood passes by the time of the field visit. I make no attempts to meet up with Brody over the weekend. Im still irritated by his reaction at the pool and his abrupt departure. So, I spend the majority the weekend with Andi. She keeps us constantly busy, so I dont have time to mope. And when she thinks I look too somber, she makes me feel better by bashing both Ryan and Brody and criticizing men in general for being perpetual idiots. She always knows just what to say.

Chapter 8 Finally, the day of the field visit arrives. Dr. Brant informs us that well exit through the northernmost west gate. Our initial search grid abuts that gate. We add two soldiers to our team, Shane and Dean. Their only purpose is to provide protection. I just hope theyll blend into the background well, and dont get in our way. Already I have my doubts. Shane is short and stocky, with greasy hair that hangs into his eyes, and hes constantly sniffling. Hes the complete opposite of what youd expect a soldier to be. Dean, on the other hand, could be the poster boy for the ultimate soldier. He towers over all of us, has a broad chest, wide shoulders, and arms that are all muscle. With his dark chocolate complexion, fierce black eyes, and stern expression, Im reminded of a grizzly bear. With Mr. Sniffles and a grizzly in tow, I have absolutely zero chance of seeing any wildlife today. But then Im given some hope. Molly trips and Dean quickly and agilely grabs and steadies her. A warm smile that gives his eyes a twinkle spreads across his face, and I realize there might be more teddy than grizzly to him. A nice, stealthy teddy bear, I hope then Shane sniffles loudly. After waiting for and grabbing a passing shuttle, we stop at the field lab. Dr. Brant gives us a tour. I like this lab even more than the base lab. This is fortunate, because Ill be spending much more time here than at base. We cant bring unknown specimens onto the base, so well have to study them in the field lab. The field lab is actually a multipurpose building. Well use it as a base camp for field visits within walking range, and well spend our quarantine time here when we travel further than the initial one-mile radius. The buildings east entrance is connected to the bases fence and is the only entrance back into the base for us. There are actually two sets of glass double doors. Dr. Brant explains that once field visits past the one-mile radius begin, the outermost door is programmed to open only on the base side. Its a step to ensure quarantine is maintained. We each must scan our palms to gain access to each door. It seems a bit like overkill to me. The doors lead to a long hallway which divides the two sleeping/bathing areas. The kitchen and lounge are at the other end of the hallway. It isnt much: small, but adequate for our team. On the other side is another set of glass double doors that lead to the lab. Again, we have to scan our palms to gain access. This one is three times the size of our base lab. There are windows lining the three remaining walls, giving an incredible view of the field well be studying. In the center of the room, two tables run the rooms length. Our computer tables are on the south and west walls. Each desk contains several monitors; I assume the extra monitors are for monitoring the field cameras at the same time as completing data entry. I thought we had all the equipment needed in the base lab, but this puts all that

to shame. On the west end of the north wall are two more sets of double glass doors; they create a mud room area to drop off dirty clothes and equipment before reentering the lab. Again I notice palm scans are needed for access and I wonder: just who do they think is going to break in or out? Dr. Brant makes it clear that she is taking the lead for this field visit. Im relieved. She reviews our search grids with us. Our initial area to research is one square mile. From there, the grids fan outward. Dr. Brant is clear that she expects us to concentrate our attention on the first area. We are to exhaust the information from this area before moving elsewhere. Our initial two days will be spent mostly touring the area to familiarize ourselves. I ask if its okay if we place cameras or collect samples. Dr. Brant nods her approval. Ryan, I was hoping you could start collecting some ground cover samples. Id like to find a non-invasive specimen that we can use for landscaping on the base, Dr. Brant asks casually. My mouth drops. There are several bio-domes just north of your lab that you can use for testing the various specimens. She gestures in the direction of the domes as the blood drains from my face. What are the odds? Sure, okay. Ryans tone is calm, but I see his hands tighten into fists and his posture stiffen. When Dr. Brant turns away, he shoots me an angry glare. Of all the things she could have asked, she picks that. My stomach tightens into a knot; I know what Ryan is thinking. I had gone a level above to force him to do what I wanted. I shake my head and try to mouth that I didnt, but he had already turned his back to me. Dr. Brant leads us out of the lab. I just hope Ryans anger doesnt spoil the whole trip. Ill try to talk to him as soon as I have a chance. I get an eerie feeling as I walk through the wilderness. Everything is familiar and strange at the same time. I keep expecting to see something totally shocking, but the only things out of the ordinary are the tropical-looking plants everywhere. It looks like the majority of our initial square is made up of grassy fields. The trees are only present sporadically here. We pass a small grove that reminds me of cherry trees, but with the bark of a birch tree. Delicate pink and white flowers are interlaced with the small, light-green leaves of the trees. I have the impulse to pick one of the flowers, but out of the corner of my eye I notice Ryan glaring at me, just waiting for me to make the mistake. As I expected, we dont see any animals. Thanks to Shane, they know we are coming, and go into hiding well before were anywhere near them. So, instead, I focus on finding tracks, scat, and other evidence of their presence, and I place cameras where I find them. Jake, meanwhile, has no issue finding bugs. His biggest problem is deciding which ones to get samples of. The digital camera I suggested he take comes in handy. The bugs he doesnt collect, he photographs from every possible angle. I enjoy watching him. Hes as happy as a kid in a candy store.

Molly is more conservative about her collecting. Once Ive placed my cameras, I focus on helping her chisel samples off of the various rocks we encounter. Throughout the day, I watch as Ryan dutifully collect samples of the different ground covers we encounter. He never complains, but I keep my distance, trying to give him some time to cool down. We eat a late lunch in the field, carefully removing our food from our sealed storage containers and placing any remains back into the containers when were done. We dont want to take any chance of attracting unwanted predators or pests too close to us. After I finish lunch, I try to get Ryan to talk to me, but he deliberately ignores my attempts to get his attention without Dr. Brant noticing. After lunch, we head back toward the lab. Everyone is eager to work with the samples theyve collected. Dr. Brant seems satisfied with what weve accomplished, and not disappointed that we have ended the tour early for the day. She spends the remainder of the day working with Ryan. Shes interested in making sure her pet project gets off to a good start. I sigh, knowing she has no idea of the grief shes caused. I busy myself with checking the reception of the cameras I had placed. Once I finish, I help Jake sort through and catalog the pictures he has taken. He willingly accepts my help. Hes anxious to get it all in the database before any of the other teams can beat him to it. He easily has several days worth of information to be cataloged, and he is grateful for the help. We work right up until dinner. After dinner, I corner Ryan. Im not giving him a chance to ignore me this time. We need to talk, I state quietly, so no one else can hear. I have nothing to say. He tries to turn from me, but I step back in front of him again. I try to reason with him. Look, either we can have a whispered argument right here and quickly gain everyones attention, or you can take a walk with me and we can discuss this like adults. Its your choice. He sighs, giving in to my determination. Fine, lead the way. I inform Jake well be right outside, and I lead Ryan just far enough away to be out of anyones earshot. Well? He stands with his arms crossed, staring down at me. I resist the urge to cringe away from his accusing glare. Ryan, you need to know I didnt say anything to Dr. Brant. I take a deep breath to steady myself. Im not used to having to prove my truthfulness. Okay, sure. Theres no missing the sarcasm in his voice. I knew you wouldnt leave it alone, but this this is beneath you. He huffs and glares at me disgustedly. Its just a coincidence that she thought the same as me. I guess were both sick of seeing dirt everywhere. My eyes are pleading. He has to see that Im telling the truth.

Uh huh. Hes still not buying it, and Im starting to get angry. Who the heck is he not to believe me? Look, you dont know me very well, but I would appreciate being given the benefit of the doubt. If I had an issue with you, I would approach you directly. If the grass had been that important to me, I would have worked to convince you of its importance but frankly, I figured if you werent interested, another team would take care of it. The pitch in my voice rises higher as my anger builds. But now I dont have a choice. Dr. Brant has made it clear that she wants me to take care of it. Awfully convenient, if you ask me, he snarls. His voice is bitter. Look, you can either choose to believe me and act like an adult, or continue to feel betrayed over something that I didnt do and have it affect the way our whole team functions. I throw my hands up in frustration. Ryan begins to pace. Dont try to pin this on me. Youre the one who was so interested in the stupid grass samples. Fine! Dont believe me. Ask Dr. Brant if thats what it takes. I fold my arms against myself in a feeble attempt to contain the anger I feel. You know I cant do that without looking like a fool, he challenges. Too late; you already do. I feel myself beginning to shake with anger. Youre acting like a spoiled child. I shake my head in disbelief and walk back to the lab. I may not be able to get Ryan to see reason, but Im at least going to maintain my remaining composure. Hey, do you need me to talk to him? Jake sounds apologetic. Sorry. I wasnt eavesdropping or anything. It was pretty easy to figure out what going on as soon as Dr. Brant mentioned the ground cover. He looks at me sympathetically. No, I dont need him to think I have everyone ganging up on him. He needs to figure out for himself that Im telling the truth, and that I never said anything to Dr. Brant. You didnt? Jake looks surprised. Not you too? I drop my head into my hands. How many times tonight will I have to defend myself? If I have a problem with anyone on our team, Im going to go to them directly. The only way I would go to Dr. Brant is if I thought there was a safety issue, and the person I had a problem with would have fair warning before it got to that point, understand? Holding his hands up, Jake quickly says, Hey, I dont have an issue with you. Frankly, I would have brought the idea to Dr. Brants attention. Its a great opportunity for our team to show what it can do. Im sure Ryan will come around to see it that way, eventually. I think hes just pissed it wasnt his idea, and that hes being told what to do by a girl. Two girls, for that matter. He gestures his head in

Dr. Brants direction. So thats the real reason hes had such an issue with me being team lead? Because I dont have the right body parts? I stare at him as the impact of his words hit me. Partially. I dont think he actually has anything against women. Its just hard taking orders from one. Ya know, the male ego thing and all. He shrugs his shoulders as if that takes away the seriousness of what hes implying. Will you have an issue if I tell you what to do? I ask, hesitant for the actual answer. Probably not. Youre really good at asking and not demanding. I have the feeling that if you yell for me to jump, theres a good reason for it, like a snake wanting to take a bite out of my foot. Jake gives me an ear-to-ear grin. His goofiness helps to break my tension. I smile back and walk over toward Molly. Hi, Brett. Molly smiles at me. Hey. Molly, I wanted to talk to you about the ground cover. No need, I know you didnt say anything to Dr. Brant. She pats me on the arm. How do you know? I ask, startled. It just doesnt seem like something youd do, she says matter-of-factly. Thanks. That means a lot to me. I smile at Molly, unsure how to fully convey my appreciation. Hey, Molly, I noticed Jake was giving you a hard time after lunch today, trying to take over your job again. Yeah, you noticed, she says sheepishly. I attempt to console her. Dont take it personally; he tries it with everyone. I think its his way of trying to be useful and helpful. The trick with Jake is to keep him busy. If he has his own thing to do, hell leave you alone. Hell stop bugging you. So, the next time he tries to be the boss, give him a small, insignificant job to do, but make it sound like hes really helping you out. It might not hurt to imply that its something you couldnt accomplish without him. I wink and watch a smile spread across Mollys face. Ill try that, thanks. Men can be such dolts. I hope Ryan comes to his senses soon. She reaches into her pack and pulls out a small rectangular box. How about we get a game of cards started? It might help break the tension, or at least make Ryan realize hes the one whos going to suffer if he chooses to be a grouch. She holds up the deck of cards and smiles. Im briefly speechless with appreciation. Good idea, I finally say, laughing. The card game makes the night go by quickly. We play poker, using a box of toothpicks as chips. As I expected, Ryan ignores us, and continues to work with his ground cover samples. Molly turns out to be quite the poker player. By the end of the evening, Molly owns most of the toothpicks.

The next day has a decidedly relaxed feel to it. We had collected more than enough samples the day before. So, we are able to focus more on the beauty of the landscape. The spring season is in full bloom. Most of the fields we walk across are already sprinkled with all kinds of wild flowers. We spend some of our time just watching a pink and white bumblebee flying from flower to flower gathering pollen. Ryan is still ignoring me, but it doesnt bother me as much. Its amazing how things are so similar to Earth, Molly sighs. Its all kind of eerie. I was stung by a pink and white bumblebee when I was little. I point to my foot to indicate where. But theres no such thing as pink and white bumblebees on Earth, Jake argues. Thats what my grandparents told me while they were pulling out the stinger. I was staying with them at their camp. I saw the bee flying around me, and I froze. I had always been told that if you stay still, the bee will leave you alone. Being little, I believed it. I stood as still as a statue and watched as the bee kept circling around me, then finally landed on my big toe, stinging me. I learned a couple of important lessons that day. And they are? Jake nudges me to get me to continue. Well, the first lesson I learned is not to stay still and wait to get stung. If a bee comes too close, I leave. The second lesson is that most adults will only believe what they can see. Well, right now we are definitely seeing. Jake reaches out and catches the bee in a container. We look at him, bewildered. What? Im going to release him. Im just going to tag him first. You never know; he might lead us to a new kind of honey. He holds up and shows us the tag, as if to prove that was truly his intention all along. The day goes by much too quickly. Before we know it, its time to return to the base. Fortunately, Dr. Brant has been impressed with our field visit and she gives us permission to continue to work out of the field lab from this point on. We have just re-entered the base when Dr. Brant pulls me aside. Brett, can I have a word? Dr. Brant gestures for me to walk with her. Once we are far enough away, she turns to me. Whatever is going on between you and Ryan, I need you to take care of it. I was hoping you didnt notice, I admit. Its hard to notice two people not talking to each other for two days. Whats going on? Somehow, she looks both cross and sympathetic at the same time. Murphys Law, I sigh. Explain.

Thursday I suggested to Ryan that we collect some grass samples for landscaping. He took offense. He didnt like me telling him what to do, even though I was just asking. I decided to let the matter drop for the moment. I'd bring it up again later, once he had adapted to the idea of me being the team lead, I explain. I see. Its just an unfortunate coincidence that I had the same idea. Would you like me to explain the situation to Ryan? she offers. No, please dont. He already thinks I went above him. I assured him that I would be direct with him if I had any issues. If you went to him now it would just confirm that his judgment about me was right, even if he had been wrong about the grass. He needs to figure out on his own that Im true to my word. You might be right. But you need to take care of the situation soon, before it affects your team. She stares at me sternly, trying to drive home her point. I will, I assure her. I dont know how, but I will.

Chapter 9 The following day, Ryan continues to give me the silent treatment. I continue to work with Jake cataloging the insects hed found. Though my back is toward Ryan, I can feel his eyes on me as I work. I ignore the feeling as best as I can, and continue busying myself with work, despite the distraction. Eventually, Ryan takes his samples and carries them to the bio-dome. To add insult to injury, he informs Jake of where he is going, pretending Im not even there. I take a few moments to calm myself and focus my thoughts. Then I leave Molly and Jake working in the field lab, and go to the bio-dome to try and talk to Ryan again. I have no idea what Im going to say to Ryan. I had already told him that I didnt go to Dr. Brant. What more can I do to convince him that Im telling the truth? Sage advice from my father enters my mind: Dont look at the behavior, but the cause of it . But Im not sure why or how it helps me. The cause is pretty clear; he thinks Im a liar. When I enter the bio-dome, Ryan is already busy working, transplanting his samples. My entrance isnt quiet, but he continues working as if oblivious to my presence. I clear my throat he still keeps working. So how long do you plan on giving me the silent treatment? I inquire, keeping my tone as polite as possible. No answer. He makes no gesture to acknowledge my presence, no sign that he even heard me but I spot his posture stiffen, indicating his awareness and determination to continue ignoring me. I decide to reason with him. You know the only thing youre going to accomplish is hurting our team, dont you? More silence, but his body tenses. Ive hit a nerve. Encouraged, I tried some more creative reasoning with him. You know, I have a theory. The reason you are so convinced that I went to Dr. Brant to force you to do what I wanted is that, if you were in my position, you would have done it. So, in essence, youre trying to punish me for your behavior. I pause and wait for him to respond. Still no answer, but he looks up, catches my gaze for a moment, then returns to his work. In that moment, staring into his vivid green eyes, I realize none of this is about the grass. I saw that same look on the very first day I met him by the fence. This is about him thinking hes better than me. This is about my becoming the team lead instead of him. The grass is simply an excuse thats why he reacted so badly from the first moment I mentioned it. A wave of anger flares through me, followed by nauseating despair. I may realize the true cause behind his behavior now, but what can I do about it?

I stand there for a moment before the answer finally comes to me: nothing. There is absolutely nothing I can do about the cause of his behavior. But theres plenty I can do about how I allow him to treat me. So are you planning on standing there all day? Ryan hisses. You know what? It doesnt matter if you believe me or not. It doesnt matter if you like me or not, and it doesnt matter if you think you should have been made team lead and not me. What does matter is how you treat the people on our team. I expect you to treat me and everyone else on this team with respect. If you dont think you can handle that, please save us both some time and tell me. Because of your behavior over the last two days, Dr. Brant is aware of the situation. Im sure shell understand if I put a request in for a new botanist. I paused to let it sink in. You dont have to answer me this exact minute. Ill let you think about it as you work today, but by tonight I either expect a request to transfer from you, or respectful behavior. Understand? I do my best to keep my expression confident and neutral. I dont want him to think this is an empty threat and push the issue, just to call my bluff. I will ask for a transfer if I have to. Tonight. His voice is flat, and his eyes are empty as they stare back at me. I decide to work in the base lab the rest of the day, and give Ryan the space he needs to make his decision. I finally have some footage from my cameras, and it keeps me busy the rest of the day. I finally get to document and classify several different species. Fortunately, none of them seems to be a predator large enough to pose a threat to humans. Ryan doesnt approach me during the rest of the day, but I hope its a good sign. At the end of the day, I head to the dining hall and run into Brody. Perfect timing. A smile spreads across my face as I approach him. Feel like joining me for dinner? Cant; Im meeting the guys, he answers flatly. Im not sweaty today; I dont mind dining with them tonight, I joke. Maybe another night; tonights just the guys. He continues walking, leaving me behind where I stood. Oh, okay, I say to no one in particular. Im confused. Is he still mad at me from when we went swimming? Did he even notice I had been gone? I shake my head in disbelief and head toward the dining hall alone. Over the next week, I immerse myself in my work. Ryan has decided to stay on our team, and his behavior is better, sort of. Ryan is perfectly polite and cordial towards me, but underneath it all is tension that cant be missed. When we take a field visit to lay animal traps, he doesnt complain. He

even helps to carry the cages but there is no small talk, no silly banter, or relaxed moments of interaction between us. Its effect is an ice cold harshness that infects the entire teams behavior and demeanor. It makes our work feel tedious, and after just a few days of it, we are all showing our exhaustion. I know I cant allow this non-fighting to continue, but Im at a loss for ideas to fix it. Ryans not technically doing anything wrong, and if I make an issue of it, Ill be the bad guy. I tried giving Ryan some distance, but that didnt help. I tried to include Ryan in work activities. He participates, like with the animal traps, but all of those attempts have been miserable failures. He patiently reports his progress on his grass project but rejects any offers of assistance. Out of desperation, Ive even tried arranging some fun activities outside of work, like dinner, swimming, or a game of tennis, but he politely declines each time and leaves Molly and Jake stuck in the middle like little kids whose parents are about to divorce. Ive decided not to transfer him off the team without a more tangible reason. So the only option Im left with is simply waiting for his anger to dissipate over time. I just hope out team isnt too worn out by the time it does. On Thursday, I can hardly wait to leave work. Im looking forward to the distraction dinner with Andi and our friends will offer. When I arrive, Andi is already there. Whats up? She looks at me, concerned. Nothing, just too much politeness, I mutter. Want to talk about it? She gestures with her head towards the empty tables. Nah, rather forget about it, I glumly admit. Ive already talked her ear off several times over the last week about Brody and Ryan. Im tired of talking, and she must be tired of listening. Would it help if I just yell at you and call you a jerk? Andi asks, lifting an eyebrow and drawing a laugh out of me. She always knows just what to say. I wrap my arm in hers, and we walk over to the large table the rest of our friends are seated at. Well, I walk, at least. Andi skips. Dinner is full of its usual pleasant banter and interesting stories from everyones activities of the day. The only difference is Troy is finally back, and he has brought Hazel with him. She seems pleasant enough. Shes pretty, with straight brown hair cut chin length. It compliments her heartshaped face and emphasizes her big brown eyes. She seems a little shy, but she has a warm smile. And seriously, who can blame her for feeling shy? Being the only new person at a table of friends would be intimidating to anyone. But at least everyone seems to be doing their best to make her feel welcome. Troy keeps grabbing her hand and squeezing it through the entire dinner. The group decides they want to play pool after dinner. I tell them that I want to download some books at the library first. But after stopping at the library I decide not to meet up with them after all.

Im still feeling drained from the drama of work. Instead, I head down to the dance floor, get myself a glass of water, and sit down at a small table by myself. I dont want to socialize, but I dont want to be alone with my thoughts either. So I sit and watch everybody on the dance floor, allowing the music to blare out any thoughts. I watch a blonde pair whirling around each other. They dont seem to have a care in a world. I wonder why I have to feel so serious all the time, and why I cant ever feel that carefree. Im momentarily resentful of all my responsibilities, and I consider going to Dr. Brant and demanding she make someone else team lead. So what is someone so pretty doing sitting here all by herself? a nasal voice interrupts my thoughts. What? I jump, barely managing to stay on the stool Im sitting on. I look up to see a squat construction worker in his brown and black uniform, staring at me. Why are you sitting here all by yourself instead of dancing? He gives me a smile, grabs my hands, and half pulls me out of my chair. I snatch my hands back from his sweaty grasp, surprised by his boldness. Im not really in the mood to dance tonight, sorry, I apologize even though my impulse is to tell him off. It would feel so good to verbally crush someone right now. Its your loss, sweetheart. He laughs, turns, and disappears into the crowd. I sigh. Getting away from my thoughts will be harder than I hoped. At least the construction worker went away easily. I sip my water and look back out on the dance floor. I find the couple I had been watching. Theyre both fantastic dancers, graceful as they move despite the speed of the song. They keep laughing as they twirl and dip each other. They are mesmerizing to watch. As I watch, they seem to dance faster and faster. Their arms and legs begin to blur. I wonder how its possible. Then, I look around at the other dancers and realize they are moving just as fast, arms and legs blurring. Somethings wrong. I feel strange. I have to get some air, I murmur to no one in particular. I stand up and start to make my way towards the exit. The room slowly tilts back and forth. I feel like Im on a small ship during a bad storm. It takes me forever to get to the exit. But I finally do, and feel the brisk night air hit my face. It helps the rocking of the boat, a little. I start walking in the direction of my dorm. I need to lie down. When I reach one of the east gates, I realize Ive been walking in the wrong direction. I turn around, and head the other way, mad at myself. Ive wasted time, and Im starting to feel so very, very tired. Am I imagining it or do I hear footsteps? I turn to look behind me, but the motion makes everything whirl around me. I close my eyes in an attempt to steady myself before I fall. I hear cruel laughter behind me, and my fright turns to alarm.

I know I have literally stumbled my way into a dangerous situation. I try to walk faster, toward where more people should be. Im definitely hearing footsteps now. Theyre so close. Brett? I turn toward the direction of the voice and everything whirls again. This time I lose my balance. I feel the pain in my hands and knees as they meet the hard gravel of the ground. Now I hear running footsteps. I close my eyes, bracing myself for whatever is going to happen. Brett! Are you okay? an urgent voice asks. The concern in the voice surprises me. I open my eyes and look up to see Ryans blurry face. I try to answer, but my throat is so dry and itchy that nothing comes out but a soft, dry squeak. Come on, try to stand up; we gotta get you some help. Ryan lifts me to my feet and leans me against him. We start to walk back towards the dorms. I try to explain what is happening, but everything just comes out garbled. Somun fola me, somtng inme dink. I can hardly hold my head up. Save your strength. Im going to get you help. He tightens his grip around me. Im not going to make it back to the dorms. My knees begin to buckle, and I start to fall to the ground, but I feel Ryan catch me. He lifts me up and cradles me against his chest. I relax into him, feeling his warmth. I feel safe and know everything will be okay now. I looked up into his eyes. Rrynnn, is all I can manage to say, and then my heavy eyelids close. I wake up in a strange room. Everything is bright white, too bright. I shield my eyes and give them moment to focus before I look around. Im in a hospital room. Andi is asleep on a couch on the left side of the bed. When she hears my stirring, her eyes open. Glad to see youre alive; how do you feel? Andi asks with a worried look. I feel like I was run over a couple of times. I groan as I move. A wave of nausea hits me. My head is relentlessly pounding itself apart. What happened? I ask. I was hoping youd be able to tell me. Andi sighs in frustration. You had us really worried. Her eyes glimmer with moisture. She squeezes my arm, and I automatically smile at her. Us? I asked, confused. Yeah, me and Ryan. He brought you here and then had one of the nurses find me. He only left a short while ago after the nurse tried to kick us both out. He convinced her to let me stay, but he had to go. She grabs a chair and pulls it up to the side of the bed. I feel a lump forming in my throat. As strained as things have been with Ryan, he somehow knew that Andi was the one person I needed. I look up and realize Andi is still waiting for me to say something. The last thing I remember is him picking me up. I rub my temples, hoping to ease the pounding. What else do you remember from last night? Andi asks anxiously. I explain to Andi I dont remember much. I remember sitting down, watching everyone dance,

refusing the construction workers offer to dance then everything else was a blur. Well, youre lucky Ryan found you. Im guessing something was slipped into your water. Whatever it was, youre allergic to it. Her hand is patting my arm now. Ketamine is the only thing Im allergic to. Its an anesthetic. Its street name is Special K, and yeah, it gets slipped into peoples drinks. But I never left the table, or my water. The only time it was even out of my hand was when I trailed off. Oh the construction worker. He practically pulled me out of my seat. If he had a partner, I would never have noticed. I shiver and cringe. The doctors had that on your chart, but said it wasnt that. Theyre running some tests now to try to figure out what it was. Right now theyre guessing its something from the planet. They were asking me and Ryan if you had been anywhere near the perimeter, where you might have come in contact with something. I was in the base lab most of the day, and all I was doing was cataloging pictures of insects. Before that I reviewed camera footage. I wasnt near anything, not even the perimeter fence, all day. I pause and try to remember if I forgot anything. I didnt. Except the construction worker, Andi points out to me. Except the construction worker, I echo. The construction crew would have had plenty of time to stumble across some plant or something that had unusual side-effects. They could have been looking for something to use recreationally when they stumbled across it. Leave it to you, Brett, to be the first crime victim on the planet. She sighs dramatically. At least youre okay now. That would be my luck, I groan. My head is throbbing even more now.

Chapter 10 Two days pass before Im let out of the hospital. I felt better by the end of the first day, but they insist on keeping me for observation. Im guessing its because they truly dont have much else to do. Dr. Lambert confirms my suspicion by complaining that Andi is right: before me there hadnt been any crime here, and no cars means a definite lack of car crashes. Plus, everyone here is young and healthy, which means Im the most excitement hes had since he pulled me out of the cryogenic tank. He also adds that Ill probably be the most excitement the doctors will have in the next six months. I spent a lot of my two days answering the same questions over and over, from both doctors and security. They all want me to give a better description of what the construction worker looked like. Did my water taste funny? Did I see him again after that? Was I sure I hadnt come into contact with any other new materials that day, maybe in the lab? Despite getting along well with Dr. Lambert, who kept me entertained with funny stories about himself, his girlfriend, and his coworkers drama, I am glad to finally get out of there. Im tired of all the questions, and look forward to sleeping in my own pod again. Of course, now that Im out, Ill have to deal with everyone elses questions. Ill have to explain to my team where I had been. Andi was smart enough not to mention anything to our friends. She figured I could tell them if I wanted to, but she also guessed correctly that I didnt want all the extra attention. Leaving the hospital, I run into Brody. I try to ignore him as I walk by. Hey, wait up, he calls after me. What do you want? I snap. I feel all of my frustrations from the last week building up, ready to be released at him. Its been over a week since weve seen each other. He looks confused by my anger. Oh, you noticed? My voice is drenched with sarcasm. What did I do? He seems honestly surprised, which only fuels my irritation more. Either hes utterly clueless, or hes this worlds and Earths best actor. Lets see. You got mad at me for playing volleyball and diving, and then you end the night without making any plans to see me again. When I finally do see you again, a week later, you blow me off to have dinner with the guys and again you made no plans to meet with me. I can take a hint. I attempt to walk off, but he places a hand on my shoulder. But I really did have dinner with the guys and I apologized for being so stupid about the swimming thing. I didnt make plans because I didnt know when Id be free again. Ive been assigned

as protection for a science team. My schedule depends on their plans now. I would have found you sooner, but they each keep running back into the field and, of course, none of them can manage to go at the same time. In fact, Ive been with them the last four days, not even placing foot on the base. His hand drops down from my shoulder. He takes my hand and sighs. Oh. I dont know what to say. My anger slowly drains from me. He never intended to hurt me. Maybe Im just overreacting. Brodys emotions are simple, though not in a bad way. Hes uncomplicated. He can look at a sunset and enjoy the beauty of it. He doesnt start analyzing the components that cause the colors; thats me, not him. So when he said he had dinner with the guys, that was all he meant. He wasnt trying to blow me off or send me a message. So how about that dinner? He smiles and pulls me to him. He kisses me on my lips, and I easily relent. I cant stay mad at him. The kiss is brief, but its enough to release a flock of butterflies in my stomach and heat my body with desire. When it ends he continues to hold me in his arms. I lean into him, close my eyes and breathe him in. Why does this all seem so hard? I whisper into his chest. His warm fingers stroke my face and grasp my chin, lifting it until my eyes meet his. Thats what I keep asking myself. You drive me absolutely crazy, and I can never manage to say the right thing. If I were smart, Id stay away from you. We both seem to make the other mad all the time. But I cant help how I feel about you how you make me feel when youre around. No one has ever made me feel anything close to how you do. I thought it was just me who felt that way, I admit before my emotions choke my throat closed. I can barely breathe, and my pulse races unevenly. I feel dizzy as his hands close around my face. Before he can pull me towards him, I am kissing him, hard and fierce. I put all the words I am unable to speak into my kiss, all the emotions I just cant define. For the first time, I am able to forget all of our differences and simply feel for him. By the time we pull apart, we are both breathless. As we walk to dinner hand-in-hand, Im feeling something I havent felt in a very long time, something I doubted I was capable of feeling again. Monday morning. I brace myself when I enter the lab. I know Ill have to explain to everyone what happened, and feel the embarrassment of being stupid enough to let someone slip something into my drink. Hi, Brett. Im glad to see youre feeling better, Molly greets me. Thanks, I answer, curious about her wording. Ryan told us how you had gotten sick. Stomach bugs are the worst, Molly consoles. Oh, I breathe. Relief courses through me. Im feeling fine now though. I look over at Ryan. He half smiles back at me and then returns to his work. Im momentarily overwhelmed with gratitude.

As much as we grated on each others nerves, Im touched that he kept my privacy. I walk over to his station in pretense of observing what he was doing. Thanks, I whisper. I gave you a hard enough time the last few days. He pauses, then adds, Just dont do anything like that to me again. He lets a dry laugh escape. Do what? Im confused by his warning. Frighten me like that. Oh. It wasnt intentional, you know. My voice carries an edge of sarcasm. Well still, you did. You were so out of it when I first saw you, and by the time I got you to the hospital, you had started to swell up and could hardly breathe. He continues to work, not looking at me, but from the corners of his eyes I can tell that they are moist. Sorry. And again, thanks, I say softly. Just be more careful where you leave your drink; next time I might not be there. He finally glances at me, and he looks angry, which makes me angry. I see youve been talking to Andi. For your information, I never left my drink. Excuse me for not looking over my shoulder every time I speak to someone. He must have had a partner waiting to slip it in when he tried to get me to dance. I guess I should assume everyone in this world has an ulterior motive. I spat in whispered anger. How dare he be mad at me? Overcautious is better than dead, or worse. He glared back at me. Whats worse than dead? I snap. Whatever the creeps that spiked your drink were planning to do. He shudders and looks away from me. I wouldnt want anything like that to happen to you. His voice is barely a whisper now. Oh. His anger isnt for me after all. Ill be more careful. I rest my hand on his shoulder and try to communicate my sincerity with a squeeze. The next month flies by as we continue to explore and study our square mile of field. As time moves on, I cant help but be grateful for how well everything has worked out. Ryans fright over me worked to my advantage. Hes forgotten our previous arguments over the grass, and he is acting normal around me again. While he starts cultivating various ground covers in the bio-domes, he allows me to help him catalog some of his findings on the grasses. He actually admits hes tired of looking at the dusty ground too. Once again, we find that we work quite well together, and we fall into a comfortable work relationship. Im relieved to have our team whole again; almost losing it to a silly misunderstanding makes me value it that much more.

Suddenly a gust of wind blows across the field, whirling itself around us, stirring up the wondrous scents from the fields. Impulsively I close my eyes, throw my head back, and inhale deeply as I slowly turn in a circle to capture every delicious sensation I can get: the warm sun on my face, the fresh summer grass, the delicate perfume of the flowers, and even the sweet, earthy smell of decay, as nature breaks down the old to bring about new growth. I feel young again, brought back to a childhood memory of picking wildflowers with my family. A wide grin breaks across my face. A warm harmony of laughter breaks through my trance. So you do have a less serious side after all, Dean says, and I open my eyes to my groups bemused expressions. I feel my cheeks flush over my sudden lack of inhibition, and I give an uncomfortable smile. Im not always serious, I admit with a shrug. Since when? Jake teases, but I look at him, hurt. Is that what you all think? I ask, abashed. Everyone suddenly looks uncomfortable, and I notice that no one denies it. In an attempt to lighten the mood, Jake adds, Hey, we get it, one of us has to be the responsible one, and its certainly not me. Then he delivers a playful jab to my ribs. Over my shoulder, I hear a whisper. Its just nice to see you smile for a change, Ryan says softly, but then quickly adds, Look at the time: we should head out before it gets too late. I nod my agreement, thankful for the change of topic, but also making a mental note to lighten up a bit.

Chapter 11 I dont get to see much of Brody anymore. With us both working in the field now, there arent many days when we are both on the base at the same time. Surprisingly, the amount of time we spend apart isnt a problem for Brody and I. In fact, it seems to bring us closer. When hes on base and Im away, he spends his time with his buddies. When Im on base and hes away, I spend my time with Andi and the rest of our friends. When we are both on base at the same time, we spend it together. It doesnt happen often, but that makes our time together more precious. Now that Ive stopped worrying about our differences, when I am with Brody its easy to forget that anything else exists. The only problem is, I can tell hes getting frustrated with just kissing, and my self-control isnt at its best around him. Im just not ready for anything more, despite how my body reacts. In fact, recently Ive started considering waiting for marriage. I wasnt brought up believing that, but somehow here it just seems like the right thing to do. I cant explain why, even to myself, so how am I supposed to explain it to Brody? Come on; it will be fun, Andi insists. Yeah I had so much fun the last time I was on the dance floor, I remind her. That was different. This time youll be surrounded by friends. If you recognize the construction worker while youre there, Ill personally help pummel him. Andi crosses her heart and raises her pinky for a pinky-promise. I suppress a laugh. I can see it now. He wouldnt stand a chance against you when youre angry. Damn straight. Besides, you need to show yourself that the construction worker is not going to control what you do. Plus, the laundry center is going to provide dresses. Can you remember the last time you got to dress up in something besides these uniforms? Ill do your hair and make-up if you want. Seeing the reluctance in my eyes, she adds, Besides, it does us all some good to get gussied up now and then. I burst out with a giant belly-laugh. Gussied? Did you really just say gussied up? Who uses those words? Are you like eighty or something? I pant between my fits of laughter. Well I do. And Im about 316. Thank you very much. She stamps her foot and pretends to be insulted. So youre gonna go, right? I just dont have the energy to argue with you, Andi. Ill go. I throw up my hands in surrender. Yay! I promise youll have fun. Why dont you invite your team? The more the merrier. Andi bounces up and down in excitement.

Fine, Ill ask them. I roll my eyes. Andi always manages to get her way when she makes up her mind. I swing by the base lab to grab my reading pad. Im not surprised to find it empty; we all tend to favor the field lab to work in. Overall, Im feeling a lot more confident as team leader than I had thought I ever would. Since Ryan decided to get along with me, our team works so well together; theres an ease between us all. Everybody willingly hears out each others ideas without dismissing them. Instead of everyone being territorial of their specialty, collaboration is the norm. I cant take any of the credit it had just happened on its own but I certainly can enjoy the results. When I finally arrive at the field lab, I am surprised to find its also empty. Its not like any of them to be late, let alone all of them. I look around for a note or something to explain their absence. Finding nothing, I head out to the only other place they might be, the bio-dome. Sure enough, as soon as I enter the dome, I see the three of them huddled around in a little circle talking excitedly. Finally, Jake exclaims in an exasperated tone. Ignoring Jake, I ask, So whats up? My curiosity is piqued. A lawn. Ryan has his Cheshire cat smile on his face. Well lets stop wasting time and see what it looks like. Molly and Jake stare at me, confused by the overly bubbly tone of my response. Sorry, I was around Andi at breakfast; her enthusiasm can be contagious. They both nod their heads and smile; they know what Andi can be like from our few dinners together. By the way, she asked me to invite all of you to the Fourth of July dance on Monday. Sure, itll be fun. We even get to dress up, Molly giggles. Why not? I havent got any other plans. Jake leans back against the wall and crosses his arms, trying to look too cool for a dance. Try to contain your enthusiasm, Jake; you dont want to seem too excited. I playfully jab him in the ribs. Ryan loudly clears his throat. Um, the grass. Sorry, I apologize, and quickly put on a more serious expression. So, you decided which specimen will work best on the base? I ask, making sure its obvious he has my full undivided attention. Yes; none of them. He has the most devilish grin on his face now. Okay, now youve got my interest. What did you do? I ask warily. Well, all the original samples were a failure. Either they were too invasive and sent out runners in every direction, or they were delicate and slow-growing. So I started experimenting,

crossing the different grasses. Most of the crosses were complete failures. I got grasses that were ultra-invasive or so delicate a strong wind would destroy them. But I finally got the right cross and came up with a grass that seeds readily, has no runners, and is super resilient. Ive germinated several generations of seeds to make sure I have a pure sample, without any unexpected mutations. But I finally think its ready. I wanted to get everyones opinion on it before we present it to Dr. Brant. If I didnt know better, Id think Ryan had spent the morning letting Andi rub off on him. He is all but bouncing now with his enthusiasm, and its definitely contagious. Well gladly give you our opinions, but its your work; you should present it to Dr. Brant, I insist. Nah, were a team; well present it together. He crosses his arms and shakes his head in an attempt to let me know his decision is final. Besides, that way if this stuff decides to devour the base, well all take the blame. He rolls his eyes and snickers at me. Well in that case Ill be extra thorough reviewing your research. So where is the final sample anyway? I look around to see if I can spot it. Ryan points his thumb to the opposite side of the bio-dome. He has a ten-by-ten foot patch of the most beautiful lawn Ive ever seen. Its thick and lush, with a rich, dark blue-green hue. I notice it has black plastic edging it. None of the grass has grown beyond the border. But what draws my attention the most is in the center a small tree with creamy white bark that looks paper-thin in the areas where it peels away from itself. The thin black striations that pepper the trunk give the tree a fragile weathered look. The tree is covered in tiny light green leaves, but there are no longer any delicate flowers anywhere in sight. Its one of the trees from the grove I noticed on our first field visit. I raise an eyebrow in a silent question to Ryan. He smiles at me, but ignores my look, saying, As long as the grass is trimmed before it goes to seed, it doesnt spread. Ive actually been letting this patch go to seed and collecting the seed before it gets dispersed. Ryans Cheshire cat smile is back on his face, and I know hes just waiting for me to ask about the tree. Thankfully Mollys curiosity saves me. So whats with the tree? Ryan answers in a bad impression of a snobby designer from one of those makeover reality shoes. Well if Im going to be responsible for our landscaping, I might as well do it right. All grass and no trees would be pretty boring. So, Ive been studying this little tree to see if its a good match. I still need a little more time, but so far so good. Hes not that funny, but I have to laugh, especially when I think about all the grief that was caused because of this project. We spend the rest of the day reviewing the research Ryan has complied, and we are all in agreement. Tomorrow we will present the findings to Dr. Brant. Were all heading back to the base when I pause and say, Hey, Ryan, you never did give me an answer about the Fourth of July dance.

What should I tell Andi? Sure. It might be fun. Besides, Kelly will be away in the field. Tell Andi thanks for asking. He grabs the door out of my hand and holds it open for me. No problem. I walk through the door, and we all head back to the field lab. Itll be nice to see everyone out of uniform for a change. Do you even remember what a dress looks like? he teases. Yeah, of course, though I might not recognize you in one. I laugh and tussle his hair. He groans and quickly straightens it. I laugh again. I know it annoys him, but that makes it more fun. From the field lab, I head back to the base to arrange our appointment with Dr. Brant. Unfortunately, Dr. Brant is unavailable until Monday afternoon. The weekend and Monday morning goes by very slowly. We all try to busy ourselves with other work, but the waiting makes it hard to concentrate. Were all excited and nervous to see what she thinks, and to see if shell allow us to plant it on the base. I feel like a little kid on Christmas morning, just watching the clock until its late enough to wake my parents and run downstairs to see whats been left under the tree. Im only half paying attention to the video Im screening, when I catch a black shape blur across the screen. I quickly sit up in my chair and rewind the footage. Ryan had seen it from over my shoulder. What the hell was that? Everyone gathers around me as I replay the footage at normal speed. We see an enux run past first a large, flightless bird that resembles an oversized turkey with long muscular, legs and the speed of a roadrunner. Then we see the black blur. Whatever it is, its enormous, fast, and after the enux. Anxiously, I rewind it again and play it in slow motion to see if I can get a better view, but it doesnt help. Shit! I look to confirm the time and location and of the camera. Anything large enough to take down an enux is large enough to hunt us. Alarmed, I start barking orders. Jake, pull up the video from camera six, 2238 hours, June thirty-fifth. There might be a better shot of the animal on that camera. Im going to see if I can slow this down more and clean up the image better. Ryan, grab camera five Molly, grab camera eights video. Theyre both long shots, but they could have caught something. We spend the rest of the morning carefully screening through the videos. Molly finds a black tail swishing across her screen, but nothing else. Jake just finds black: the animal had rubbed against his camera and knocked it out of position, so its now pointed to the ground. Ryan finds absolutely nothing on his camera. I finally manage to slow down and clean up my video. Everyone gathers back around me as I

play it back. Its still blurry, but we can make out an elongated snout like that of a dog or wolf, and there are plenty of sharp, jagged teeth lining the creatures mouth. Its body resembles a panther, but it appears to be moving even faster than a panther can, and from what we can tell its quite a bit larger. Shit, is all I manage to say. Miss Bradbury, I expect better language from my team leads. We all jump and turn around. Dr. Brant had entered the lab without any of us noticing. Im sorry, Dr. Brant. Im usually not one for profanity. Out of the corner of my eye I see everyone nodding in agreement, and Im thankful for their support. But if you take a look at our video, you may understand why I slipped. I gesture toward the monitor. She nods and sits down in the seat I offer her. Hmm, she says after its over, and turns back to face us. This is a problem, but not really a surprise. We all knew eventually wed find a predator capable of causing us harm. Its much better to find it this way than face to face. Any suggestions on what we do now? Im awed by her ability to turn a crisis into a teaching opportunity. Everyone looks to me, and I feel compelled to answer. First, Id suggest putting up more cameras in the area. We need to find out if its territorial or if its just passing through. It was caught on the infrared, hunting at night, so theres a good chance its nocturnal. I suggest sending extra guard out with us just in case its not. Once weve been able to determine if its territorial, and still in the area, we should attempt to trap it. In my peripheral vision, I can see the rest of the group agreeing with me. Dr. Brant nods, urging me to continue. Maybe set up a remote controlled dart gun to drug it. Then we can study it more thoroughly, tag it, and release it, so it can lead us back to its pride, if it has one. Once we have more information about it, we can determine if we need to do anything more about the animal or not. I look around to see if anyone has anything else to add. Very good, Dr. Brant says, patting my shoulder. I will arrange the extra guard to go out with you tomorrow, and Ill inform the supply store to provide you with all the cameras you need. She walks over to the other side of the room to use her radio. She speaks softly, so I cant hear what shes saying. Should we have the nearby search grids pull out of the field for now? I ask when she returns. No; Ive just arranged for extra guard protection to join them. Now, I assume you called me out here for another reason. She looks at me, but I look to Ryan. He may want to share with the team, but Im still determined to give him the credit hes due. Yes. Do you mind following us to the bio-dome? It will be easier to explain if we can show you. Ryan gestures to the door, and Dr. Brant and the rest of us follow him out. Dr. Brant is delighted with Ryans work. She instructs us to plant the seed around her office after the cameras are taken care of. If it grows well there, shell have Ryan instruct some of the

construction workers on collecting and reseeding it. Ryan agrees but makes one odd request. He asks if he can choose the second spot to plant the seed, but he wont say exactly where he wants to place it. Dr. Brant agrees on the condition that it is in an area that is supposed to have grass. By the time I meet Andi at the laundry center after work, Im as bubbly as she is. Im in the mood to celebrate. I actually allow her to pick the dress for me, style my hair and even put make-up on me. Andi is thrilled with the opportunity. She had expected to have to drag me through the process instead of my easy compliance. Though frankly, Im a little scared of what the end result will be. When shes done, she drags me over to look in a mirror. Its a bit much, Andi, I remark, pointing to my usually hidden cleavage. Nonsense. You and I will be the center of attention tonight, and youre going to love every minute of it. Just look at us. I look. Andi has on a slinky, shimmery silver dress, a matching silver band slicking back her slowly growing hair. She looks like a runway model. My hair is loose, cascading down with its natural curls. A small barrette sweeps some of it to the side, so it wont fall into my face. I cant remember the last time I had it down. With my work, a ponytail or braids just makes more sense. Shed done a nice job on the make-up; nothing too heavy. The dress she picked out was emerald green, complementing the deep auburn of my hair. It ends right above my knees, and when I twirl it flares out. I feel like a little girl twirling around and let out a joyful laugh. But then I look back at the neckline and sigh. There is one strap which loops around my neck; the problem is that it plunges down a bit too far for my comfort level. I am simply not used to showing cleavage. But, Andi. I gesture to my chest. Oh, come on, grow up. You have beautiful breasts, so dont be afraid to show them off a bit. She grabs my hand and drags me out of the room. Shes not going to give me the chance to back out. I relax a little when we get to the dance floor. Our dresses are not out of place. Everyone else is dressed up too, and there is plenty of cleavage besides mine and Andis. I notice some of the guys even have on tuxes. I wonder if everyones trying to make up for all the proms and formals that we missed during our trip here. We spot Jeremy waving at us. Hes at a large table right next to the dance floor. We make our way down the stairs and over to him. Wow, you both look great, Jeremy compliments us. I have to agree. I turn and see Ryan standing behind me and feel my face flush. Hes wearing a tux and I have to admit it looks good on him. I almost didnt recognize you, he teases. I dont look that different. I roll my eyes at him and pretend to pout. Ive never seen you with your hair down before. It makes quite a difference. He stares at me

just long enough for me to feel uncomfortable. Really? I automatically reach up and touch it like I didnt know it was there. Yeah, its nice. You should wear it like that more often, when youre not going to be out in the field. He starts to blush and quickly turns his attention to Andi. You look great too, Andi. He clears his throat. Thank you, Ryan. Care to dance? Andi holds out her hand, and I watch them make their way to the dance floor. Id ask you to dance too, but I should make sure everyone finds the table first, Jeremy apologizes. Thats okay. Id much rather take the opportunity to talk instead. You wont believe the day Ive had. I sit down next to Jeremy and explain all of the days events. He listens intently, only stopping to wave more of our group over as they arrive. By the time I finish my story, we have a full table. Wow, some day. Definitely deserving of a dance. Jeremy grabs my hand and pulls me onto the dance floor before I can protest. We spend most of the night dancing in a large group. Jeremys a blast to dance with, thanks to his mom. Shes the one responsible for his years of dancing lessons, and now he can dance to anything. Im also surprised to find that Ryan is a pretty decent dancer too. He can keep the beat and has a carefree attitude on the dance floor. He doesnt seem concerned about anyone thinking he looks too goofy. Andi, as expected, is as uninhibited as usual. The atmosphere is infectious; I soon forget to be self-conscious, and just enjoy dancing for the first time in a very long time. The music slows down. I turn to head back toward the table, but instead Ryan grabs me by the waist. Just where do you think youre going? He laughs as he pulls me towards him. I recognize the song and its singer. Its a much faster beat than this song usually has and Im curious to see how hell manage, so I relent and place a hand on his shoulder just as the lyrics start to the remake of Son of a Preacher Man . He pulls me close, grabbing my free hand and sliding his other in the small of my back. Ryan surprises me again. While he is silly and goofy to the fast songs, he is graceful with this slower number and easily leads me to the beat. At first I find myself struggling to keep up with his lead. Im not used to being led by someone who actually knows what hes doing. But soon Im lost in the music, and before I know it the song is over. I look up, still wrapped in Ryans arms, and realize just how fast my breathing and pulse have become. Im going to get a drink of water; do you want one? I ask, trying to compose myself. Ill get the water and meet you at the table, he suggests.

I nod and make my way back to the table. Andi is sitting there waiting for me, a playful glint in her eyes. The dance floor seems to be a dangerous place for you, she teases. What do you mean? I feign innocence even though I know what she is implying. The way you and Ryan were dancing Id guess he was your boyfriend, not Brody. She raises her eyebrows and waits for my response. We were just dancing. Honestly, the only reason I did was because I figured he wouldnt be able to keep up with the song. But he surprised me. Are you sure thats all? Her innuendo is clear. Andi, will you stop trying to play matchmaker for me? I have a boyfriend, and Ryan has a girlfriend. We were just friends dancing. I giggle dismissively, then I say, Though I have to admit, it would be nice if Brody could dance like that. A sigh escapes. Ha! I knew you had a moment. Andi almost jumps out of her seat in her excitement over catching me. If I did it was about the dancing, not the boy. Apart from Jeremy, how many guys do you know that can actually lead? My voice now sounds cross. Counting Ryan and Jeremy? Two. Andi holds and wiggles her fingers to emphasize the number. Well Ill see you in a bit. She disappears as soon as Ryan returns with the water. I roll my eyes after her. She can be so mischievous. So is your inability to be led a control thing or what? Ryan jokes as he hands me my glass. No, its a learned bad habit, I admit. How do you learn not to allow the guy to lead? He raises his brow at me. In middle school did you have dance during gym class? Yeah, I think its mandatory torture for all middle school students. He takes a sip of his water and waits for me to continue. I think youre right. I had a semester of dance, and it was torture. We learned everything from the waltz to square dancing. Only one thing was consistent throughout the semester. No matter the dance, none of the boys knew the steps or how to lead. That left me to lead them through the steps, and Ive been leading ever since. Well for not knowing how to be led you adapt pretty quickly. He smiles and tilts his glass towards me. Thanks. I tilted my glass back in an unofficial toast. So who taught you how to dance like that? He breaths out a sigh, and I see sadness creep into his eyes. My sister Lauren. She was two

years older than me, and the summer before my freshman year of high school she decided she was going to teach me how to dance. She told me that there are few things in life that a woman finds sexier than a man who can make her laugh, and a man that can dance. I wasnt given a choice: she was going to make me learn one way or another. He smiles, but it makes him appear sadder somehow. Well, it does sound like your sister was a smart woman. I pat his arm. She was. She helped me keep my sanity. I was always the smallest, the youngest, and the worst hockey player in the house. She took pity on me and helped me recognize and develop my other strengths. Like school work, and even dancing. He sighs. You miss her, dont you? I say sympathetically. Yeah I do, but she made me swear before I left that I would never have any regrets. How could she, unless I told her, he admits. And she let you go? Im stunned. She was a little reluctant at first, but she trusts me. She never knew exactly what the project was, because I didnt know at the time, but she knew I thought it was my best chance at happiness, and that was enough. She said she would rather never see me again but know that I was happy. It was hard to leave her, but I knew if I stayed she would return to Maine to help me. I couldnt do that to her; she had a full college scholarship, and she was in love. I couldnt let her give that up. Ryan feigns a cough and takes a drink of water, but I notice him wipe his eyes on his sleeve. Wow, she sounds like she was something. I reach to pat his arm again, but he moves it and I end up grabbing his hand. I give his hand a quick squeeze, but he takes a moment before he lets it go. His attention suddenly shifts to someone on the dance floor. Whos that? Whos who? I ask, looking in the same direction as Ryan. Initially I look over at the rest of the group dancing together. Jeremy and Jake are mock fighting over who gets to dance with Molly. Zachary is dancing with Sarah, and Wendy is dancing with Adam. They have both recently started dating. Troy is wrapped tightly in Hazels arms. Andi, for once, had been wrong. The newness didnt wear off, only intensified. They are now engaged and will be married in a little over a month. Finally I see the who Ryan is referring to. Now that I see them, I realize just how impossible it is for anybody not to notice them. Andi is smack in the middle of the dance floor with a tall boy. He has a round baby face and black hair spiked in every direction. Theyre both looking at each other with big doe eyes. Its a bit nauseating to watch. Ive never seen him before. I continue to watch as they slowly turn in a circle, even though it is a fast song thats playing. Do you think someone spiked her drink? Ryan looks worried. No, she doesnt look drugged; she looks twitterpated. I stare at Andi in disbelief and wonder

if thats what me and Brody looked like when we first met. Twitter what? he stammers. Its a phrase from Bambi. Do you remember the scene where the skunk and the rabbit instantly fall head-over-heels in love? I gesture towards Andi, currently the perfect example of what I mean. Oh yeah, twitterpated. Thats a good description. Its a little sickening to watch, though. He rolls his eyes. I know what you mean. But we probably should watch just to make sure your first theory isnt right. We watch them dance through the next three songs, totally oblivious to everyone else. Im getting ready to walk over and pry them apart when Andi finally separates from him and walks back over to the table. Well? I ask as she stares at me like shes shell-shocked. Are you going to tell us who that was? I smirk. That was Jackson. Isnt he dreamy? Its just too strange seeing Andi this way. Okay, Ryan, I think your first guess was right. We might want to get her down to the hospital. I shake my head and start to laugh. Thats when Andi finally snaps out of it. Hey! I didnt laugh when it was you and Brody on the dance floor, did I? She stamps her foot at me and I laugh even harder until I notice the annoyed look on Ryans face, but by the time I glance back to see his expression again, the look is gone. I hope we didnt look that bad, I say through my hand. I still cant control my giggling and may be well on my way to a laughing fit. Well if thats how youre going to be. Andi crosses her arms and turns her back toward me. Okay, okay, Im sorry. I grab my water and chug some, hoping to keep the giggles at bay. I really am happy for you. Im glad youve met someone. It was just a bit surprising to watch you lose yourself like that for a while. I do my best to look serious and somber. So when are you going to see each other next? Tomorrow for dinner. Andi uncrosses her arms and gives me a scrutinizing look, wanting to make sure Im actually done laughing. Okay, lets make a deal: I wont tease you anymore about the dance floor, and tomorrow night after dinner youll tell me all the details about your first date. Deal? I try my best to look as sincere as possible. Deal. Andis smile returns to her face, and Im forgiven. Its getting late, and we have a busy day tomorrow. Im heading back to the dorm. Are you

coming, Andi? I stand and wait for her answer. No. Youre not completely forgiven yet, and besides, I feel like some more dancing before bed. Ill see you later. She hops off the stool and skips over to join Jeremy, Jake and Molly on the dance floor. I cant help but notice that Jeremy looks perturbed. For a while there, I thought the two of them would end up together. Im heading back too. Ill walk you to your dorm, if you want. Ryan stands up and holds out his arm for me to hold. My lady. Somehow he manages to keep his face straight. I, on the other hand, burst out laughing. I dont know what has gotten into you tonight, but I kind of like your silly side. I hop up and grab his arm, adding, Kind sir. You just havent spent enough time with me outside of work. He holds the door open as we step outside. So I guess Andi does everything with her usual flair, even falling for a guy. I guess, I say, not honestly sure if I agree. It was certainly strange to watch, I add, but I dont really want to talk about it, so instead I reach up and tussle Ryans hair. Hey. He reaches up and straightens it, as usual. You seem so carefree on the dance floor. Why does your hair getting messy bother you? Its not vanity; it just doesnt feel right. He shrugs his shoulders, unable to explain any better. Well I think it looks better a little messy, but if it bothers you that much I can stop, I offer. Nah, its not like someone of your short stature can reach it most of the time anyway. He stands as straight as possible and places his hands in front of him, so I cant reach. That sounds like a challenge. I laugh as I try to dart around his arm. He turns too quickly for me and then starts to jog away from me. Only if you can catch me, he taunts, picking up the pace. He keeps just far enough ahead of me so that I dont stand a chance of reaching him. Before we know it, were at the door to my dorm. Both of us are lightly panting from our little jog. I just hope I didnt give myself a blister trying to run in heels. Its nice seeing your silly side, too. Ryan holds the dorm door open for me. Have a good night. For a brief moment, we both just stand there, frozen by the energy snapping and crackling between us. Thanks. You too. See you tomorrow. I quickly duck into the dorm and disappear, feeling unnerved by whatever had just happened between us.

Chapter 12 Im up early the next morning. I quickly eat my breakfast and stop by the supply store. They have all the cameras ready and waiting for me. When I arrive at the field lab, the rest of my team is already there. We pack our bags in silence, while we wait for the security detail to arrive. Any trace of last nights festivities has been replaced by anxiety. Did the soldiers decide to sleep in? Jake huffs impatiently. Theyre not late; were all early. They should be here at seven. Im feeling just as impatient. Now that I have my bag packed, there isnt anything to keep me distracted. I dont like the look of those clouds. It could rain on us, Ryan says as he looks out the window. I hope it does rain, but after we finish placing the cameras. I start rechecking my bag to have something to do. Why do you want it to rain? Molly asks, confused. If we get a nice heavy rainstorm after placing the cameras it will wash away most of our scent. Theres a good chance the creature will avoid the area until our scent has dissipated. The rain will speed things up. I start to pace, feeling edgy. Well I hope the security detail is punctual; well need to hurry it up to beat the rain. Now Ryans pacing too. Were all feeling impatient. Fortunately, before any of us completely lose our temper, the security detail arrives, led by Dean. We quickly show the soldiers the cleaned-up recording of the creature. Then I make sure everyone has a map of the area, and point out where we will be placing the cameras. Dean explains that there will be one soldier paired up with each scientist. It will be their job to look out for us while we place the cameras. Dean and another soldier, Thomas, will be the lookouts for the whole group. They will alert us the second they hear or see anything. We grab our gear and head out into the field. I look up at the sky and pray that the rain holds off long enough. For the first time, this world truly feels alien to me. I have come to think of these fields as our home. Weve walked them countless times and never once felt threatened. But all that has changed. The tall, sun-dried grass speckled with wildflowers is no longer a thing of beauty, but a place for monsters to hide and wait to pounce. Every sound we hear makes our eyes dart around searching for the source. Our approach startles a bird that was hiding in the grass. As it takes flight, we all jump, and Molly lets out a cry of shock. Once we realize what happened, we all laugh nervously.

Come on; lets pick up the pace. The sooner we get these cameras placed the sooner we can all relax, I encourage everyone. Mentally I note that were also running out of time. I notice the clouds in the sky are drifting faster a telling sign that the storm is quickly approaching. We reach the area where the creature had chased the enux. I point Molly and Ryan in the direction of the first camera to be placed. Jake and I head toward the second position. Its a large pine tree that stands by itself in the field. I grab the gaffs out of my bag, strap them on my legs, wrap the climbing belt around the trunk and climb halfway up the tree. I drop one end of a rope down to Jake. He ties a bag with cameras onto it, and I hoist them towards me. I attach a camera to each side of the tree. The branches are sparse enough at this height that I have most of the field covered from this one vantage point. I program the cameras to activate as soon as any of the motion detectors in the area are triggered. Then I place a small solar panel beside them to keep the batteries charged. Satisfied with my work I climb back down. Ryan walks over, and motions for Jake to join Molly. Whats wrong? I sigh. Looking at his face, I can see hes angry for some reason. You dont need to prove anything to anyone, you know, he admonishes. What are you talking about? I re-pack the gaffs and start heading towards the next camera placement. That little stunt you just pulled was reckless and dangerous. You could have killed yourself, he hisses at me. I knew what I was doing. I grab the next camera out of the bag and continue my work, determined not to let him rile me and goad me into a fight. I had thought our bickering was a thing of the past, and Im not anxious to have it return. Knowledge isnt the same as experience. If you wanted to place the cameras up in the tree, you should have let us know. Ive climbed trees before, I have experience. I could have done it without anyone getting hurt. His whispered argument has clearly caught the attention of the guards assigned to each of us. I notice they are both smirking at us. First of all, it was marked on the map; second, no one got hurt. And finally, I have the experience, and not just the knowledge on how to climb. You shouldnt assume. I continue to work with my back toward him, refusing to let his tantrum break my stride. Can you hand me some strapping so I can secure the camera? I hold out my hand for the strapping, and he slaps it into my grip. You grew up in Rhode Island. Its not exactly known for its lumberjacks. How would you have gotten any experience climbing with gaffs? There is no missing the condescension in his voice. Oh, so lumberjacks are the only ones who can use gaffs now? I glare over my shoulder at the two guards. One had been making kissy-faces behind my back. This isnt a lovers quarrel.

No, but most people dont even know what a gaff is, never mind knowing how to use it, he argues. Well for your information, a friend of the family was a lineman. He worked for the telephone company, and he used gaffs to climb the utility poles that bucket trucks couldnt reach. He gave me one of his old pairs and showed me how to use them. I was nine at the time, and Ive been climbing trees with gaffs ever since. Now if you feel left out, you can certainly climb the next tree, but in the future please get all of the facts before you decide to jump down my throat. I stand up, finished with the camera, turn and walk back to join the rest of the group. It takes every ounce of my energy, but I put on a relaxed face. Im not going to let anyone see me lose my temper or see just how rattled Ryan made me feel. I smile to myself for leaving out the part about my mother. She was livid when she found out about the gaffs and she threw them in the trash. I snuck them back out, hid them in the woods, and used them in secret. The rest of the cameras are placed without incident. Ryan doesnt complain when I climb another tree to place the last camera, but his face contorts in an almost comical way the entire time Im in it. Just as I finish with the camera, a roll of thunder rumbles from above. I quickly, but carefully, make my way back down the tree. Its the last place I want to be if theres a lightning strike. We gather our bags and head back to the field lab at a jog. The first fat drops of rain start to fall on us as we enter the lab. Do you need us anymore? one of the soldiers asks. If not, wed like to run back to base before the rain gets too heavy. No, were all set here. Thank you, all of you, for your help today. The soldier nods and quickly leaves with the rest of the group. I motion to Dean and Shane to leave, and they run after them. So did anyone remember to bring an umbrella? Jake laughs as he looks around at the rest of us shaking our heads. If it gets too bad we can always spend the night here. I still need to win some toothpicks back from Molly, I chuckle. Im relieved that the days tension is lifting from us. I look out the window at the storm. The sky is almost black, and the wind is already whipping grass in every direction. Its going to be one heck of a storm. Come on, lets check the cameras, I say to whoever is listening. To my relief, all the cameras are operating normally, their pictures steady in spite of the strong winds. Now its just a matter of waiting.

I walk over to the window and stare out at the storm. Ive always loved a good thunderstorm, ever since I was little. I find them invigorating and fascinating. I watch mesmerized as the lightning dances across the sky, changing the black clouds to angry purple. Looking at the sheets of rain hammering against the windows, its clear well be spending the night. Watching the storm, I contemplate how much I have changed in such a short amount of time (if you dont count the frozen years). I still miss my parents all the time, and I wouldnt hesitate to do anything if I could have them back, but before they died, my life was pretty much mapped out for me. Id go to college, maybe have a career, get married, have kids, and grow old. On this planet, for the first time in my life, I feel like anything is possible, and what I do really does make a difference. Im not simply taking up space until I die. Im sorry. I jump and spin, startled by Ryans voice. I land against his chest. Sorry, I didnt hear you walk up. I push myself off of him. Well, Im sorry again. But mostly Im sorry for getting mad at you today. Youre right; I shouldnt have assumed. You caught me off-guard. I turned around and saw you up that tree. All I could think about is that if you fell, there would be nothing any of us could do, and I was already so worried about the creature hurting one of us. He glanced away, unable to meet my eyes with his last words. I understand your concern. It just frustrates me that you always seem to assume the worst in me. It would be nice for once to be given the benefit of the doubt. Next time Ill try. He shrugs and pulls a slight smile. How about next time you talk to me first? I punch him on the shoulder and walk over to help Molly prepare dinner, warning, Whoever doesnt help with the cooking does the cleaning. After dinner, we spend the rest of the night playing cards. For some reason, we cant seem to settle on one game, and end up playing hearts, rummy, and even bridge at one point one very brief point. We seem to get goofier and sillier throughout the night, and its a refreshing contrast to the stress of the day we had. As usual, Molly ends up with all the toothpicks. The next day you cant tell that there had ever been a storm. The sun is out, and by early morning its already hot. Even though were all still tired from yesterday, were excited to get the grass planted today. I quickly check over all of the cameras. They are all still in position and functioning normally. Ryan has all the supplies in the field lab ready to go. We collect the equipment and head back to the

base. We wait impatiently while security verifies that we have clearance to bring the seed and equipment onto the base. Then we make our way over to Dr. Brants office. Shes already there, waiting to greet us. One of the perks of being in charge is that Ill have the best looking lawn on the base. She smiles at us. I take it everything went well yesterday? Yes, Dr. Brant, we placed all the cameras before the storm hit, I advise her. Excellent. Wonderful timing on the storm; we might have the footage we need sooner than I hoped. She looks toward Ryan. Ill let you get on with your work. She turns and heads back inside her cool office. Im already feeling sweat beading on my lip and I feel a bit envious of her. Its your project, so you tell us what you need us to do. I smile and add, Boss. He hands me a hoe. Loosen up the top soil; it will make it easier for the grass seed to take root. Theres enough seed to cover a ten foot radius around her office. I figure if were going to make an impression, the bigger the better. He smiles we all groan. That a lot of soil to loosen. I look up at the sun beating down on us, put on some gloves and get to work. The four of us spent the morning breaking up soil. We have plenty of people stop by to see what we are doing, but they quickly leave when we ask for volunteers. Im thankful that the automatic sprinkler system has already been installed by the construction workers in anticipation of the eventual landscaping. It will save us some work, at least. But still, its too hot. I find myself wishing that the sprinklers would just go off by themselves. By the time were ready to spread the seed, were all drenched in sweat. We praise Andi when she stops by with drinks for us all. Andi walks over and hands me a drink. I figured youd need this by now, but I have to admit I do have an ulterior motive. If it requires even the use of a pinky muscle youre out of luck, I warn, gulping down the drink. Actually, no movement is needed just approval. She hands out the rest of the drinks. I raise my eyebrow at her. Jeremy and I are working on a tracking device you can implant on the creature. My interest must be visible: she grins at me. We already have tracking devices. What would be different about this one? Ryan questions as he hands back his empty glass. Once were done, it will set off anyones watch alarm when it comes within a mile radius. We figure even if the animal isnt territorial, it will give everyone ample notice to get away safely when hes in the area. Have I told you recently that youre brilliant? I smile and hand my glass back to Andi.

Yes, but I never tire of hearing it. She bounces over to Jake and Molly and collects their glasses. I take it thats a yes to the tracking device. We all nod our agreement. Good, she smugly says. Oh, Brett, dont forget dinner tonight. I nod. She turns and skips away from us. I know she must be bursting at the seams to tell me all about her first date with Jackson. Ryan hands us all some seed and a strainer-type device. He shows us how he wants the seed applied, and we all get to work, eager to finish and take a shower. At least its the easiest and quickest part of the job. Toward the end, when the majority of the seed has been spread, Ryan and Jake start a seed fight. Molly quickly joins in, dumping a handful down Jakes shirt. I laugh knowing, despite our occasional bumps, I have a heck of a team. As I watch the three of them rough-housing, thats when it really sinks it: they really are my team. I feel possessive, protective, and proud of them. I suppose it mimics the way a mother feels toward her children. Without me being aware of it, they had become my family. My thoughts are interrupted as Ryan rubs seed into my hair. So, of course, I have to chase him down until I get seed in his. While Ryan programs the sprinklers, we collect the tools, and then we all head back to the field lab. Ryan and I put the tools away, while Jake and Molly both shower. Unfortunately, the field lab only has two showers, one for the girls and one for the boys. I try to busy myself while I wait for a shower, but Im just too uncomfortable. I quickly give up, and just lean against the wall to wallow in misery. Ryan is just as uncomfortable as me. The sweat and dirt were bad enough, but the added grass seed is just making us itchy. I watch him pace back and forth as he waits for Jake to finish. Pacing just makes you sweatier, I remind him. Tell me about it. He groans and walks over to the bunk area. Jake, can you hurry it up in there? He growls. Hey, after what you put everyone through today, I may spend the rest of the afternoon in here! Jake yells back. You should know better than to challenge Jake. Youll have to walk back to the dorms now. Hell be in there the rest of the day now, just to prove his point, I laugh. Fine, Ryan grumbles. I watch him stomp over to the kitchen sink and rip his shirt off. A small gasp escapes me. Its not that he took his shirt off heck, I feel like doing that myself. What surprises me is what is under the shirt. I knew Ryan was in decent shape. I knew he worked out at the gym, but he just never appeared remarkably muscular to me. I was very mistaken.

Under his shirt is a perfectly chiseled chest, complete with a six pack. He turns his back toward me and begins to wash himself with a cloth. His back is just as defined as his front. Im fascinated that he could be so well-defined, but not show any of it through his shirt. I have the sudden impulse to run my hands over his chest. Brett, its your turn, Molly yells from our bunk area. I quickly break my stare before Ryan notices my open-jawed expression, and walk to the shower, feeling flushed. Not a bad view, huh? Molly teases. I cringe. She had caught me staring. Im just surprised. I wouldnt have guessed he was in such good shape, I feebly explain. Dont fret about it; he took me by surprise too when I first saw him without a shirt, she admits. When did you I trip over my words, surprised by her admission. He was in the bio-dome doing a scratch test to see which ones triggered his allergy. Anyway, I guess it was easier to take his shirt off than to roll up his sleeves. I was bringing him some lunch, but he heard me before I could recover, and caught me staring at him. I was so embarrassed I couldnt look him in the eyes for a week. Thanks. In a way that makes me feel better, I admit. But he never told me he had a grass allergy. I wonder why he didnt mention it? Its a valid reason to get out of the research, especially when he originally didnt want to do it, I wonder out loud. Its only a mild allergy. He only knows about it because of all the tests they performed on us before we came over. Besides, I dont think the original argument was really about the grass thats probably why he never told you, Molly offers. Mollys insight is probably correct, but I choose to ignore it and focus on the allergy. So the grass we just planted wont trigger anyone elses allergies either. Thats a nice plus, but Im not sure how I feel about him using himself as a guinea pig. Especially with no one else around. Something could have gone wrong. But seeing the look of horror on Mollys face, I add, Dont worry; Ill figure out some way to bring up the topic of testing on ourselves without mentioning what you told me. I pat her arm and then grab a towel. Thanks, Molly whispers, and lets out a sigh of relief. Before Molly leaves the room, I call back to her. Hey, do me a favor and let Ryan and Jake know that its okay if they check out early today. Weve earned an extra bit of rest after the last two days. I close the bathroom door and strip off my sweaty clothes. The water feels magic against my

skin as I step into the shower. Okay, Jake, long enough, Ryan says from what sounds like miles away. Either you get out of that shower or Im gonna wrestle you out of that shower while Molly watches. Hey, leave me out of this. Why should I get punished because he cant take a normal shower? Molly protests. I laugh and plunge my head into the shower, drowning out the sound. Im glad no one is waiting for me to hurry up. I linger in the lab, double-checking the new cameras, even though I know there wont be anything caught yet. Its only when Ryan finishes his shower that I realize how long Ive been. Together we return to the base. I cant help but notice that theres a change in the atmosphere, something is up. When we pass people, I notice an excess of excited whispering, but the looks on their faces are somber, grim even. It gives me an ominous feeling. I look at Ryan and see my feeling mirrored in his expressions. Hey, you, I call to a short blonde kid as he passes us. He points at his chest questioningly. Yeah, you. We just got back to the base. Whats going on with everyone? A girl died. His voice is mournful, but I see creepy excitement flash in his eyes. I swallow my disgust. Some things havent changed since high school. In high school, a girl died in a car accident with a drunk driver. Suddenly everyone knew her, everyone was her best friend, and everyone had a story to tell. They all acted like they were in mourning, but they really were no better than rubberneckers gawking at an accident with the sole purpose of gossiping about it afterward. It was downright sickening and disrespectful to everyone who had actually been her friend. I let out a long exasperated sigh as he continues. Yeah, apparently she was bitten by something out in the field, but didnt realize it. She seemed fine when she first got back, but that afternoon she stayed late working in the lab, and late this morning her team found her dead. My eyes fly wide with horror. It was just too close to home. It could have happened to anyone of us. What was her name? Ryans voice is panicked, and I realize Kellys been out in the field. Sue Suzan no wait, Suzie. Yeah thats it. Her name was Suzie. Why? Do you know her or something? Im disturbed at the kids lack of sympathy. Hes obviously more interested in adding to his gossip than the fact that he might have just delivered devastating news. He actually looks disappointed when Ryan lets out a sigh of relief and shakes his head no. I feel a guilty wave of relief wash through me. Im sad that someone died, but Im glad it wasnt

anyone I actually knew.

Chapter 13 Two days later, I find out the real story from Dr. Brant, and I feel the full impact of what happened. I did know the girl, sort of. Suzie was the botanist I met on my first day here. She hadnt been bitten or scratched. She had been working with a plant extract, trying to determine if it had any useful properties. No ones exactly sure why, but instead of following testing protocols, she decided to test the extract on herself. Every botanist available has been brought in to study the plant to determine exactly what happened. Apparently the plant has anesthetic qualities, and Suzie just happened to be allergic to ketamine. The plant extract caused her to go into anaphylactic shock while she was all alone in her lab with no one to help. Dr. Brant now suspects its what was slipped into my drink, and I can vouch from firsthand experience that the extract is tasteless and odorless. Dr. Brant points out that now we know what the plant looks like. Unfortunately, it is a common weed found all around the perimeter of the base. Following her advice, I head over to the hospital and get myself an EpiPen. At least if I ever experience the plants effects again, I can prevent it from killing me. Although I suspect its no longer necessary, Ill be having a serious chat with my team about the seriousness of breaking protocol and self-experimenting. I feel a chill run along my spine as I realize how easily it could have been Ryan that had the reaction. At least Molly no longer has to worry about getting blamed for being the tattletale. All morning work is canceled for the next day. A funeral is held on the far edge of the airfield. Its not on the map, but that is where the cemetery will be. Everyone is cremated when they die to avoid future overcrowding. So Suzies final resting place is a silver canister buried in the ground, marked only by a small stone plaque. Attendance isnt mandatory, but it seems like the entire base is there. I dont know who knew her, but most of the faces I see are grief-stricken, and many of them are tear-streaked. And at least for today, I know the grief shown is heartfelt, and not simply an act on anyones part. Seeing the plaque somehow drives home the point that this is real: anyone of us could meet our end tomorrow. None of us are immortal, and I should be thankful to have my friends healthy and whole around me. Suzies death makes me determined to do what I can to keep as many people safe as possible. Fortunately, I couldnt have hoped for things to go better with the cameras. It only takes a few days to get better footage of the creature. It has the body of a panther, but the snout of a wolf. Jake dubs it a pan-wolf and the name sticks. From what we can tell, there is only one pan-wolf. That encourages

us to think that he is only passing through and not territorial. It also makes us realize we need to act fast. Andi has already finished the new tracker, so we make a quick trip into the field and place the remote control dart gun. We then secure an enux to a rope in the center of the field. Its not happy about the restraint, but if everything goes according to plan, it will remain alive. We then take turns watching the monitors in pairs. Its approaching midnight when Ryan and I finally see what we are looking for. The pan-wolf has responded to the enuxs cries of distress, and is now stalking it. I move over to the dart gun controls and wait for it to enter my sights. Ryan hops up and starts waking everyone. I dont have to wait long for the pan-wolf. It creeps toward the edge of the grass and prepares to pounce. I take aim, hit the button, and a dart shoots right into its shoulder. It recoils from the pain. I hit the button a second time and hit it in the side. The creature starts to stagger. We head out on our first night field visit. The tension we felt placing the cameras doesnt compare to what we feel now. We cant see past what our handheld floodlights illuminate, and we know were walking toward danger. Molly stays back at the field lab and monitors the pan-wolf for us. She would never have admitted it, but earlier I could tell she was scared really scared. The relief that filled her face over my suggestion that she remain behind only confirmed my suspicion. Its her job to notify us if the animal begins to stir. If it does, she has to hit it with another tranquilizer. We dont want to risk losing our chance, so we run as fast as the floodlights will allow. There are twelve soldiers with us this time. Its a bit of overkill, but Dr. Brant insisted. I have given them all tranquilizer guns and clearly explained that their real bullets can only be used as a last resort. I hate having to trust that none of them will get trigger-happy at the sight of the animal. We quickly reach the pan-wolf and are relieved to see it is still out cold, but breathing. Ryan quickly grabs what looks like a large spiked horseshoe out of his bag another one of Andis inventions depresses a button on it, and jams it into the ground around the animals neck. He then grabs a few larger ones and jams them into the ground around its torso, then repeats the same steps around the legs. Feeling the animal is secure enough, Ryan steps aside so I can attach the tracker. Jake and a soldier walk over and release the enux. It quickly flees into the woods. Ryan and I quickly busy ourselves with taking pictures, measurements and blood samples. After we have collected everything possible, Ryan and Jake remove the restraints and we all back away from the pan-wolf. Once we can no longer see it, we confirm with Molly it is still out cold, and we run. No one speaks again until we are back in the lab. Hes a lot bigger than the cameras indicated, Ryan points out. And hes still quite young. Based on his proportions, Id guess he still has another hundred pounds before hes fully grown, I add.

Knowing all this, can someone please explain to me why we didnt just kill it? one of the soldiers huffs in an annoyed tone. I turn and face the soldier who had spoken. My eyes narrow on his him. Jason, is it? He nods. In training, arent you told to know your enemy? I give him a questioning glare. Yeah, but this isnt an enemy, its an animal. It cant think. He puffs his chest out and puts his hands on his hips, but Im not about to give into his intimidation. Im not going to debate the animals intelligence. Instead, think about this: how much good would it do us to kill the animal if hes part of a pride? Wed never find out we assumed wrong until someone came face to face with the next pan-wolf, and by then it will be too late. Instead, weve placed a tracker on the animal. We can easily keep our distance, as well as watch where the animal travels. If and when the animal becomes a problem, well use the tracker to locate it and euthanize it. Now can you see why we didnt just kill it? The tone of my voice is defiant, challenging him to retort. Yeah, that makes sense. He drops his head to the ground, embarrassed by his public scolding. In a much lighter tone, I address the entire group, Well everyone must be tired after tonights activities and the lack of comfortable pods. So, thank you to everyone for your help tonight. Because of your help, the entire base is safer. Please feel free to go home to your pods and get a good nights sleep. Dont forget to reactivate your watches. They should now alert you if the pan-wolf is within a mile radius. The soldiers nod back at me and head out the door. Brett, hes waking, Molly warns. I walk over to the monitor, and the four of us watch as the pan-wolf shakes his head and stumbles to his feet. It looks around, dazed and confused, then disappears back into the woods. All the samples have been properly stored; lets get some sleep, Ryan advises as he stretches and yawns. We all follow his advice and drag ourselves to bed. We spend the rest of the week cataloging and testing our samples. I urge everyone to take the weekend off, but they refuse, and keep working right beside me. I should feel guilty about ignoring my friends, but they dont seem to notice. It appears that everyone in our group is dating now, and seriously dating at that. Its an effort to get everyone together for dinner. However, Andi, being the social butterfly that she is, makes everyone promise to keep every Thursday night dinner available. Unless were away in the field, were expected to join everyone else in dining hall B.

I breathe a sigh of relief in the middle of the week: the tracker shows the pan-wolf move out of our territory. The next day, Dr. Brant pays us a visit and informs us that her lawn is the envy of the other field managers and it isnt even fully in yet. As soon as it goes to seed you can start the next patch, she informs Ryan. Actually I already have some seed harvested from the test patch. Its not much, but it will do for the area I had in mind, Ryan says hopefully. She nods her approval. Great; you and your team can start on it tomorrow. Actually, I can take care of it today while everyone else finishes up with the pan-wolf samples. He quickly adds, Were almost done, anyway. Even better. But, once Ryan finishes with the seed and everyone else finishes with the panwolf work, I want you all to take a few days off. I appreciate all your hard work, but I dont want you to burn out either. We will. Bretts been asking us to take a day off too, but we all wanted to finish the pan-wolf samples first, Molly explains. I smile, touched by her defense. Well enjoy your days off. Ill see everyone again on Monday and not a moment before. She smiles and walks out the door. I notice Ryan follow after her. He must have some more questions about the grass. Thanks, Molly, I whisper, and turn to finish up the samples. Im more than ready for a few days off. Its Thursday night, so I meet everyone for dinner. Im surprised by how large the group has grown now that everyones dating. Jeremy is finally smiling again because hes now dating Jennifer. Molly somehow met Alex in the last week. I wonder when she found the time and how it managed to get serious enough to bring him to dinner with us. Im happy that everyone has met someone, but selfishly Im also a bit disappointed. I liked our little circle of friends just the way it was, and I didnt want it to change. But theres nothing I can do about it, so I smile and act as happy as I can while hoping that, eventually, our group will get back to normal, more or less.

Chapter 14 Our teams hard work has paid off. On Monday, were the first team given approval to move beyond the original square mile area. So instead of brooding over my lovesick friends ruining our group, I dive back into work. The rest of the team is so excited at the opportunity that they barely notice the amount were working. I take an occasional day off here and there to spend time with Brody, but for the most part, I am all about work. We decide to start with the square mile to the west of our original area. From the satellite pictures we have available, it looks like theres a large river that cut the square in two and the area is covered in trees. Thats a plus: weve seen enough fields for a while and are ready to explore some forest. The exploration pattern we follow is designed to bring us to the river. One day, when we are nearly there, I hear a cooing noise above us. Ssh! I gesture towards the trees. My heart leaps with nervous excitement. Weve found my violet eyes. The branches above us are filled with a mix of creatures, some white and blue, some white and purple. In the face, and especially in the tail, the creatures resemble domestic cats, but they have the hands and feet of a monkey. The full grown ones are large, the size of an orangutan, but a lot cuter. A small purple juvenile jumps down the branches of his tree to the ground and bounds over to us. Stay still; hes not showing any aggression, I order. Im startled to hear the creature purring. He stops and sits a few feet in front of us, just looking. Remember: dont make direct eye contact or show your teeth. To most animals theyre aggressive expressions, Ryan reminds us. He looks so cute, Molly mumbles through her closed mouth and sighs. The creature walks towards us and sniffs each of our shoes. He stops in front of Shane, but instead of moving on to Jake, the creature stands up on his hind legs, sniffing up Shanes leg towards his waist. Just as the creature reaches out his hand, Shane yells, Get off of me! and hits the creature back with the butt of his rifle. From there, everything happens in an instantaneous blur. The small creature jumps back with a cry of pain, holding its wrist. We hear a loud fisher cat cry from above, and one of the largest creatures flies out of the tree and lands on Shanes chest. It pushes off of his chest, simultaneously grabbing his hand and twisting. We all hear a sickening crunch of bone. Shane lets out a wail of pain.

The large creature lands with a thud, just behind the small one. Dean raises his gun and takes aim. Everyone stand down and step back three paces now! I bellow. Thankfully they all listen. I quickly grab and unzip my backpack and take out the first-aid kit. I cautiously walk toward the small creature and sit down with my legs crossed, just out of his reach. Brett? Ryan whispers. I hear the worry and fright in his voice. Trust me, I whisper back. I open the first-aid kit and activate a cold pack. I coo and purr as I did with the cat I had as a child. The small creature responds, looking up. I hold the cold pack up and place it on my wrist, and then hold it out towards the small creature. It reaches out and grabs it. The creature looks surprised and lets out a cry when it feels the cold against his wrist. The larger one growls at me in warning. I look down, not wanting to offend it. The small creature makes some chirping noises and the larger one seems to relax. I watch in amazement as the creature places the icepack back on his wrist. Behind me, I hear Shane whimpering in pain. Without warning, the smaller creature climbs into my lap and cuddles against me, the way a small child would. Instinctively I cradle him. He purrs back at me with his large violet eyes and I wonder if they are the same eyes that originally greeted me on the planet. I look around at the rest of the creatures surrounding us. Their stances appear more relaxed now. Without turning around, I quietly direct everyone, All of you take Shane and head back to the base. Ill catch up shortly. No, Im staying everyone else can head back, Ryan insists. I can tell by his tone that there is no point in arguing. Fine. Ryan can stay; the rest of you head back, I sigh. The group backs away and walks towards base. Slowly, Shanes whimpers of pain fade. Ryan steps forward and sits cross-legged besides me. The large creature looks from me to Ryan and repositions himself closer to Ryan. The small creature reaches up with its uninjured hand and touches my face. It traces every curve of my features, exploring. Its soft fur tickles so much that I let a giggle escape. To my surprise the little creature giggles back at me. Then it raises its injured hand up to me. I examine it. There doesnt appear to be any visible injury. His arms and hands are all purple, but he has a small, white diamond-shaped patch of fur right above his wrist that the other creatures dont seem to have. I gently palpate the wrist. He doesnt wince, and nothing feels out of place. Fortunately, it looks like he has suffered no more than a bruise. Im relieved. Without warning, the small creature leaps from my lap, and is quickly back up in the trees. The larger creature turns and follows.

Time to go, I whisper, and slowly raise myself to my feet. We are halfway back to the base when I hear Ryan say, Brett Not now, I sternly warn him. Now that Ive had a moment to consider what happened, Im fuming. I quicken our pace, and soon were at the field lab. I see Shane getting his wrist examined. They must have summoned a doctor while still on the way back to the lab. Nice of you to take care of the monkey instead of me, Shane snaps, then lets out a long, loud sniff. Can we have a moment? I ask the doctor. He nods and walks away, but Ryan remains by my side. I ignore him. I need my anger and attention focused on the correct person right now. I intentionally drop my voice an octave, a trick my mother taught me. It has the desired effect of making me sound dead serious, and it gives me the tone of authority I want. Youre off of our team. What the hell are you talking about? Shane growls back at me. I dont need someone who cant stay level-headed with us. I try to sound as calm and unemotional as I can. That monkey thing was climbing up my leg! What did you expect me to do? He attempts to sound and look confused by my statement, but Im not buying it. A thought occurs to me as what he said registers. Youre right; he was climbing up your leg and no one elses. Whats in your pocket? I demand. Huh? N-nothing, he stammers. Then you wont mind turning them out, I insist. It takes all the restraint I have to remain calm. Yeah, I do mind. Its a little difficult with a broken hand, he growls back, but his tone is defensive enough that I have my answer. Then I can do it for you. I reach into his left pocket and pull out a half-eaten snack bar. Some nothing. The same nothing I spoke to you about last week, and several times before that. Now my voice is dripping with contempt. I cant believe this fool. Despite my anger, I make an attempt to relax my body language, and sound at least remotely calm. I dont need him to think Im only firing him due to a moment of anger, and hope that I may change my mind. I wont. I forgot it was there, he protests. Do you still question why I want you off our team? I demand. Thats not fair; Im the one that got hurt. Now hes whining like a little kid, something Ive gotten used to hearing from him, as well as his constant sniffing. Youre lucky thats all that happened. You forget you have food on you, and then when we

encounter a curious baby, you freak out and hit it in front of its family. Its family easily outnumbers us twenty to one. Youre lucky its mother was satisfied with only hurting you in the same spot you hurt her baby. Youre very lucky every single one of us werent torn to shreds. And if youre smart you wont want to enter the woods again, for a very, very long time. I have a feeling that mother wont be forgetting you any time soon. Shane shivers in response to my last words and hangs his head. I have reached the limit of my control: I feel myself starting to shake with rage. I look at Shane. His mouth is opening and closing like he wants to say something, but he cant think of the words. I turn and walk away. The doctor informs me that hell be moving Shane to the field hospital, and I thank him. Grateful I wont have to deal with him again, I head outside for some fresh air. Ryan is right behind me. I feel him place his hand on my shoulder. We need to take a walk. Okay, I gratefully agree. I need to get out of there before Molly and Jake see me lose it completely. I glance over at them; they are looking at me with wide eyes. They have never seen me angry like this before, and they dont know what to make of it. We walk just out of sight and hearing distance. I stop and bend over, taking several deep breaths to calm myself. Just what the hell do you think you were doing? Ryans words and his razor sharp tone cause me to jump and nearly fall over. I turn, and finally see that Ryan looks as angry as I had just felt, but, for some reason, his anger is directed at me, not Shane. What?! I gasp in surprise at his unexpected reaction. Are you actually questioning why Im getting rid of Shane? Im shocked. I thought he was helping me get away to cool off, but instead hes attacking me and my decision. No. Not Shane. I dont want him around either. Im talking about back in the woods with that purple beast. His voice is dripping with disdain, and hes visibly shaking now. I was trying to save all our lives and keep from having mortal enemies in the woods. My voice cracks. My emotions are getting the better of me. That bigger creature could have ripped your face off. He balls his hands into fists and clenches his jaw. And you just walk up to it like it was your pet cat. How can you be so reckless? Are you so anxious to meet the wildlife that you throw all caution out the window? he yells, pointing his finger into my chest. The intimidation attempt backfires: it only helps me focus my anger. This situation has a definite feeling of dj vu. I havent done anything wrong, and I shouldnt have to defend myself to him. Were you even there? Did you see the same things I did? I had to do something to keep my team safe. Theyre my responsibility. I couldnt allow anyone else to get hurt, so I took a chance, and

it worked. We all got out of there alive. And what if it hadnt worked? His face is directly in my face now, so I can feel the heat of his breath on me. I put my hands on his chest and shove him back, hard. It did work, and unless you have a better idea of how the situation should have been handled, you need to back off. Youre way out of line right now. I glare at him, daring him to argue with me. I dont know what you should have done. But someone needs to be scared for your safety. You certainly dont seem to be. His shoulders shrug in defeat. I watch as the anger drains out of him. I was scared, but I couldnt afford to let fright take control of me. I had to think about everyone else. Im sorry if it upsets you, but I really was just trying to take care of everyone. My voice sounds calmer again. Well maybe if you didnt have everyone else to worry about, youd take care of yourself better. Ryans words are a mumble, barely audible as he turns away from me. What? I demand, not sure of what I heard. Nothing. Ryan shoves his hands into his pockets, and skulks away. I sink down into the grass, suddenly exhausted, and let the shaking and sobbing take over. I want off of this emotional roller coaster called Ryan. Its a while before I compose myself and head back to the field lab. Ryan is off by himself now: from the look of it, hes sulking. Im relieved to find that Molly, Jake and even Dean have a different view on my behavior. That was so cool. You were absolutely fearless, Dean says, beaming. Youre a badass. He punches me in the arm, laughing. Dean always laughs from his stomach; a deep down, big belly-laugh. Its infectious, too, and I cant help but join in. I thought we were about to get ripped to shreds when you told us all to step back, and then you just walk right up to them as if it were nothing. Jake adds, You saved our butts. I blush. What happened after we left? Molly asks, and I describe my amazing experience with the little purple creature. Now that we are beyond the mile radius, a quarantine period is required. For the rest of our time in quarantine, the three of them treat me with awe, while Ryan continues to sulk and pretend I dont exist. Fortunately the rest of the group doesnt pry into the argument. They are satisfied with my explanation that Ryan doesnt share their viewpoint on my interaction with the creatures. We pass our time debating an appropriate name for the creature. Several ideas are kicked around: cat monkeys, purple monkeys, Conkeys, and even Mats. I cant help thinking of the meerkats I

watched on Meerkat Manor when I was little. The meerkats were so friendly with the observers that they would climb on them and even sit on the observers heads to get a better vantage point. I suggest meerkit, and the name sticks. I make sure we all have our reports completed before the end of quarantine. I am not looking forward to it, but I still believe we need Shane off our team. Ill need to talk to Dr. Brant and let her know why, so I have already sent her a message requesting a meeting. I want the documents to back me up.

Chapter 15 Im surprised when I show up for the appointment and see that Ryan is there. He continues to ignore me, avoiding my questioning looks, but I can see his is body tense the entire time. Dr. Brant calls us both in at the same time, and I feel my stomach drop. I have a sinking feeling Im about to get unfairly blindsided. Good morning, Brett, Ryan. I received the reports from your team about your most recent excursion, as well as both of your team reassignment requests, Dr. Brant states as she looks at the two of us. I suck in a shocked breath. Both? Dumbfounded, I look over at Ryan. Is he mad enough to be looking for a new team? Without giving us time to say anything else, Dr. Brant continues. Now, Brett, as far as your request is concerned, I agree with you. The soldiers are there to protect, only when and if necessary. Your team cant afford to have a trigger-happy soldier, or one lax in basic rules such as carrying food. Shane will be reassigned to a job on base, and a suitable replacement will be found before the teams next field visit. I nod in agreement, still too shocked to say anything more. After all weve been through as a team, to have Ryan want to leave well, it just hurts. Now that brings me to Ryans request. This is the reason I asked you both here at the same time. Now I ask you both to listen to what I have to say without interrupting, Dr. Brant warns. Im surprised to hear a sharp edge marring her normally calm tone. We both nod. Ryan has a very somber look on his face, and his hands are tightly clenched. He still wont meet my eyes. Now, Ryan, youve expressed concern that Brett has been reckless with her own safety, in the name of protecting her team. With that concern, you have asked that I remove Brett from the position of team lead. From reading reports from all your team members, I agree with you. A half-choked bark of disbelief escapes me, and I suddenly feel very shaky. My mind is whirling. Is this really what hes been planning all this time hes been acting nice to me? Is this why he followed Dr. Brant out of the office the day when she said he could continue planting his grass? How could I have been so blind to the betrayal going on right in front of me? And now, Dr. Brant and everyone else agree. That must mean that theyve been lying to my face this whole time, too. I swallow back the small sob trying to escape my lips. Let me finish, Dr. Brant reminds me in a voice more stern and serious than I have ever heard before. I agree that Brett was reckless with her own safety, but I also believe her behavior is the

exact behavior we need from a team leader. Now its Ryans turn to gasp. Brett put the safety of her team and the base above her own. Because of her actions, her team is safe, and there is now an opportunity to work with and study the meerkits. For this, I think Brett should be commended. Dr. Brants tone has a finality to it that makes it clear her point is not to be argued. I look at her, grateful tears threatening to spill from my eyes. Then I look over at Ryan. He is looking down at his shoes, as if they are the most interesting thing in the room. Ryan, Im concerned over your reaction. The other team members didnt take offense to how Brett behaved, yet you did. Do you have feelings for Brett that I should know about? The smug feeling I was enjoying twists into confusion. That was so not what I expected to hear. What is she thinking? Who the heck shows someone they like them by stabbing them in the back? You mean like romantic feelings? Ryan asks cautiously. When Dr. Brant nods, he hesitantly continues as if hes carefully measuring his words. I have a girlfriend, so thats not a problem. I care about all of my teammates, and I cant sit by and allow any of them to die out of recklessness. As he speaks, he looks directly at me, and I feel an unexpected surge of guilt for making him worry. But at the same time, I stand by my actions, and Im still furious at him. Well it sounds like both you and Brett share the same level of protectiveness toward your team. Im glad to hear that there are no romantic issues. But now we need to address whether or not the two of you can continue to work together. With a somber tone and expression, she continues, Ryan, you must decide if you can work on your team, knowing that Brett will put herself into jeopardy to protect you and the rest of the team members. If not, I can reassign you. Perhaps even as team lead yourself. You have many of the qualities necessary to make a good team leader, and I have a few teams that could use better leadership. She leans back in her chair, looking just a bit smug. I look from Dr. Brant to Ryan, feeling both helpless and furious. How could he do this to us? And now, for his behavior, Dr. Brant is rewarding him with a promotion. This sucks. I start to contemplate ways to break the news to Molly, Jake, and Dean. You dont need to answer now, but Ill need an answer in the next few days to give me time to rearrange the teams, Dr. Brant adds, but then she begins tapping her fingers against her arm. She really doesnt want to wait. Finally, breaking his shocked stupor, Ryan responds. No, that wont be necessary. I dont want to switch teams. I cant imagine a team Id work better with. His words are slow and full of resignation. I just dont want to lose any of them. Ryan sighs, looking defeated. Very well, Dr. Brant comments before refocusing her attention on me. Now, Brett, Ill understand and will not hold it against you if you want to have Ryan removed from your team. Personally, I would have a difficult time working with someone who asked for my removal, regardless of their motives. Dr. Brant sits back and awaits my response.

My nostrils are still flaring. I need a moment to answer, a moment to rein in the anger and confusion coursing through my blood. If Ryan is so bent on becoming team leader, why would he reject Dr. Brants offer? It doesnt make sense. Could he really only be concerned for my safety? No: hes still playing some kind of game. He knows if he eagerly jumps at the opportunity, Dr. Brant will see through him as easily as I do. I notice my hands are shaking, so I ball them into fists, and finally I manage to say, Im not going to make it that easy for you, Ryan. If you want to leave, then leave. Dont try to make me the bad guy again. Despite what she said, I can see Dr. Brant scrutinizing my face while I fight my emotions. Im not Ryan begins to protest, but I hold up my hand to stop him in his tracks. I force my voice into a restrained monotone. I will not let Ryan cause me to lose control in front of Dr. Brant. I dont want to argue about what youre really trying to do. Right now Im furious. This should have never gotten to this point. You should have come to me first, I say, hoping that I sound calm but forceful. I did try to talk to you, Ryan protests. No, Ryan, you didnt talk: you yelled at me while you were still too upset to speak rationally. Did you honestly expect me to do something besides telling you that you were out of line? I pause to control the tremble in my voice. You should have waited until you calmed down and then talked to me rationally. I always listen when you talk to me, dont I? He doesnt answer right away, but I can tell hes struggling with his response. If he claims I dont, Ill demand examples, which he doesnt have. So I wait. Well, yeah, he begrudgingly admits, and then adds, I cant sit back and watch you get yourself killed. He sounds adamant, but I can see the resignation in his eyes. I smile, surprised but relieved that things are going my way. Ryan, I dont have a death wish. I dont want to die. Under everyday circumstances, I am usually the most cautious out of all of us, arent I? I beseech him, again knowing he cant argue the point without sounding foolish. He shrugs. Under everyday circumstances, yeah. Look, I cant promise that I wont be reckless again. Not if its for the good of the team. But I can promise to do all I can to make sure our team avoids any dangerous situations. Theres nothing you could have done to avoid the other day, Ryan concedes. His admission catches me off-guard, and without thinking I say, I know. Dont you realize I was just as scared about losing you as you were about losing me? Why do you think I was so furious at Shane for putting us all in that situation? Ryan lets out a dry laugh. Im glad I wasnt in his shoes. You can be really scary when youre mad. Youre especially scary when you manage not to raise your voice and appear so calm. Hes

smiling now. I certainly didnt feel calm. I smile back, even more confused, by the sudden friendly banter. Is he trying to suck up to me now? Ugh. I cant figure this guy out. Dr. Brant lets out a relieved sigh. Well Im glad everything is settled. I would have hated to break up my best team. I have a knee-jerk reaction to tell her everything is far from settled, but then the rest of her words sink in. Your best? Ryan and I ask in unison. Dont let it go to your heads. She winks at us and opens the office door. Both of you have a good day, now, she says. The meeting is over whether we want it to be or not. Ryan turns to me to talk, but I shake my head and say, Give me some time. And then I walk off. I head to the dining hall and meet Brody for dinner. He seems to be in a bad mood. I ask him whats wrong, but hes reluctant to tell me. He says he doesnt want to upset me. You can tell me and I might get upset, or you can not tell me and I will get upset, I threaten. After my meeting with Ryan, Im in no mood to play games with anyone. Well all the guys are talking about what a bitch you were to Shane. He stares down into his plate, not meeting my gaze. It figures he nearly gets my team killed and hes going around calling me that. I laugh, trying to make it sound like it doesnt bother me. After all, its not like I expected him to be overjoyed at being fired. Well you did cut him down in front of everyone else, Brody says, but immediately looks like he desperately wants to take it back. Are you defending him? My voice rises and a sharp edge creeps into it. Im beyond upset. How could he possibly take Shanes side in the matter? Im just saying you could have talked to him in private, he says apologetically. He clearly does not want to be in this conversation. Oh, I get it. Its a girl thing again. Im not letting him get away with his Neanderthal thinking. So if one of your buddies screws up and almost gets you killed, youre telling me that youd wait until you could pull him aside and have a quiet little chat? Im now standing up and staring down at him. Its not the same, he insists, looking up at me. Why? Because Im a woman? I know it is, but I need to hear him say it. Kind of. Its different for a guy to chew out a guy, but for a girl to its just humiliating. Again his gaze is focused on his plate.

Well, youll have to tell me if eating alone tonight is humiliating. I storm off. The eyes of everyone in the dining hall are on me. Why are men so infuriating? Not knowing where Im headed to, I walk or, more accurately, I stomp aimlessly. I need to get away from work, from Brody, and from all the confusing feelings that are spiraling through me right now. When I find myself at my kidney bean rock, I stop short, let out a wail of fury, and burst into tears. I have found where Ryan placed his patch of grass seed. In the center of it, shading my rock, is the little tree from the bio-dome. Damn it, Ryan, I want to be mad right now! I sob. Im sorry. I thought youd like the grass and the tree. I jump, even though its impossible for me not to recognize the soft, gentle voice. Ryan is right behind me. He looks abashed, but Im in no state to focus on him right now. I need to be alone, and hes preventing that. Uh, men are impossible! Now I cant even talk to myself in private! I throw my hands up and start to walk away. I dont need Ryan to see me cry. Im sorry; I really wasnt trying to hurt you. I just want to protect you, he calls out as he follows me. Go away, Ryan. Not everything is about you, I snap, and start to walk even faster. The tears are streaming down my face now. Then tell me whats wrong. Why are you so upset? He grabs my shoulder and spins me around to face him. No, I dont have to tell you anything, I snap. No, youre right; you dont. But I hate seeing you this upset. If theres something I can do to help? He brushes a tear from my cheek. No way. He cant stab me in the back and then turn around and expect me to let him be the good guy. I shake my head, turn, and start to stomp away. My mother didnt die in the car crash with the rest of my family, Ryan calls after me. What? His unexpected words make me turn back to face him. My mother. She wasnt in the car during the accident. She was at home when it happened. His voice is just above a choked whisper and tears glisten in his eyes. As mad as I might be, I cant ignore the painful admission hes just made to me. Then what happened to her? I step closer, but resist my urge to comfort him. My mom had always been a strong woman, but after the accident, she was amazing. She never

broke down or fell apart. She focused her energy on taking care of me, of making sure I was okay. He stops to stifle a sob. Lauren tried to warn me that something was wrong. Even over the phone she could tell. My mom wasnt coping, but I was too wrapped up in my own emotions to notice. By the time I realized anything was really wrong, she had already been fired from her job and was a fullblown alcoholic. Ryan looks away from me. He looks thoroughly disgusted with himself. I place a hand on his shoulder. Ryan, Im so sorry He pulls away from me before I can finish. No. I dont want or deserve your pity. When I finally figured out what was going on, I searched the house and poured every bottle of alcohol down the drain, took her keys, and went to school. I thought that would be enough to keep her safe, but I was wrong. I must have missed a bottle. The fire marshal thinks she passed out with a lit cigarette in her hand Ryans voice trails off. He is unable to continue, but he doesnt need to. I foolishly just stand and stare at him. What do you say to someone who blames himself for his moms death? He didnt want my pity, and I didnt understand just why he was telling me all this right now. Slowly, Ryan regains his composure. He looks back up at me and continues, I stood back and did nothing while my mother destroyed herself by drinking her grief away. I cant let that happen again. I cant sit back and let someone else I care about get hurt. Not if theres anything I can do about it. Oh. The point of his story drives home. I dont know what I can do to convince you that I dont have a death wish, consciously or subconsciously. I look up into his eyes, willing him to see that Im telling the truth. I know, he quietly admits. I just need you to understand why I did what I did. Im not after your job or even resentful that you have it. You have every reason to hate me. He sighs and runs a hand though his hair, looking at me remorsefully. I just stare at him with my mouth wide open. Im unable to form any words. I want to stay mad at him. Its easier than dealing with the mix of emotions welling up inside of me. All of the last few days events come crashing back down on me. I just want to curl up into a tiny ball and disappear. I want to be back at home in my bed, with my mom holding me and saying everything will be okay. But thats not possible. I dont want to fight anymore, I admit as a torrent of tears burst from me. Ryan wraps me in his arms, and I cry into his chest. By the time Ive calmed down, I realize weve walked back to my rock. It easily seats the two of us. I spend the rest of the night talking with Ryan about the plane crash that led me here, what happened in the field, its aftermath, and my dinner with Brody. He calls himself, and later Brody, a

dunce. He claims the proper response would have been to punch the first guy who uttered the word bitch. Im relieved Ryan is staying in our team. But I cant help but wonder how our work relationship is going to change now weve seen each other so vulnerable. Before I have any time to truly ponder my new worry, Ryan points up at the tree. Im surprised to see it has an iridescent glow at night. I look up in awe. Ryan explains he would never have discovered it if not for me. During our first field visit, he watched me, knowing I was fighting the temptation to pick a flower. He realized it would make a good landscaping tree, and decided to study it. It wasnt until he brought the sapling to the bio-dome that he discovered the iridescence. When he told Dr. Brant about it, she wanted it next to her office, but he managed to convince her that it would be better to plant it away from any buildings initially, just in case the roots proved to be more invasive than he predicted. Its pretty, I whisper, leaning against Ryan. The illuminated branches somehow take all my worries away with them.

Chapter 16 The next night, Brody finds me on the way back to my dorm, and asks me to talk. We stand for several minutes: all he does is look at me through pleading eyes. Finally, he blurts, Im sorry for being such a guy. Is that your idea of an apology? I ask, offended. I cross my arms and glare at him. Well, yeah. He shrugs, looking uncomfortable under my stare. Youll need to do better than that. I start to walk away. Ive just finished jogging and want a shower. He catches up with me and grabs my hand. Look, Im sorry. You dont know what its like getting harassed by the other guys for what your girlfriend does. His tone borders on whining, and it grates on my nerves. I snatch my hand back. Well you dont know what its like to find out that your boyfriend is joining in with his buddies Neanderthal behavior instead of defending you. I did defend you. Thats why they were harassing me so badly. They kept saying you had me whipped. His eyes are pleading with me now. You know thats not true, I flatly respond. Yeah, but it doesnt feel that way when youre hearing it. Im really sorry I took it out on you. Am I forgiven? He grabs my hand again and flashes his cutest smile, the one that shows the dimple on his cheek. Im thinking about it. I dont snatch my hand back this time. He doesnt give me a chance to decide. He pulls me towards him and wraps me in his arms. He takes a deep breath and moans. You smell so good. Before I can answer, his lips are covering mine. I kiss back, parting my lips for him. I had almost forgotten how good his kisses are. I feel his hands wandering towards my shirt and grab them in mine, redirecting them to my waist. I hear him groan and then he pulls back. Youre driving me crazy, he whispers. Ive told you: Im not ready yet, I say patiently. What will it take to get you ready? he says. His tone is a bit too demanding. I dont want to be rushed or pressured. Now I sound annoyed. Weve been through this conversation before. Do you really want to push the issue when Ive barely forgiven you? I just dont want to be kept waiting forever, he whispers in my ear. Then he starts nibbling my neck, and wandering his hands across my back. Im not saying forever. I just want my first time to mean something. I want it to be with the

person I know Im going to grow old with, I explain, but it sounds like an over-rehearsed line. Now whos pressuring who? he says teasingly. Im not saying I want to get married or anything. I just want to be sure of our feelings for each other. You know how I feel about you. What else is there to be sure about? He starts to kiss lower and lower on my neck. Brody, I cant have a serious conversation with you doing that, I huff and push him away. Look, all I want to do right now is take a shower. Pushing the issue is just going to make me mad, I say, suddenly feeling drained. Sorry. Ill let you go shower, he says glumly as he pulls the door open for me. I sigh to myself and walk inside. Why am I waiting? Im really not sure anymore. Sure, Brody has his faults, but so do I. Besides, I like being with Brody and I want to be with Brody, so whats holding me back? Why do I feel so afraid of making a commitment to him? I head out with my team the next morning. Gregg is the new soldier assigned to us. Dean knows him, and assures us that he is level-headed. He looks more the soldier than Shane ever did. His short brown hair is shaved short, and he has a similar, but smaller, build than Dean. I just hope he shares Deans agility and intelligence. I decide to give a wide berth to the meerkit area and totally re-work our search pattern on the grid. I just dont know how welcome we will be, and I dont want to find out the hard way. We have barely entered the grid area when we hear cooing. Startled, we look up, but we dont see any meerkits. We start to walk again, when suddenly there is a rustling noise behind me. I start to turn, but Im hit on the shoulder by something warm and fuzzy. I freeze in astonishment, as I see the baby meerkit from the other day sitting on my shoulder. He coos again, and I instinctively coo back. I glance at his wrist and see his white diamond, confirming its the same meerkit. He explores my face again with his hands and then jumps onto Ryans shoulder and does the same. He jumps down and walks over to each remaining team member, sniffs at their feet. Then he leaps back into the trees. I carefully watch Ryans face, trying to discern what hes thinking. There has been a guarded comfort between us since the other day by the tree. He has seen me vulnerable and, in a way, it has brought us closer, but I cant help wondering if he still harbors an ulterior motive and is just waiting for another opportunity to replace me as team lead. Seeing an amused expression on Ryans face, I finally say, I guess we have a friend. I motion for everyone to continue on. The meerkit follows along in the trees, watching us. Later, we stop for lunch in a clearing. Im happy to note that Gregg takes careful care to remove only what he is going to eat from his containers, and then reseals them.

The meerkit jumps down and investigates what we are eating. You are a mischievous little one. I can only imagine the capers youll get yourself into. I hold out my hand and he rubs his head against it, the way a cat would. Thats not a bad name for him, Ryan says, holding out his hand. Come here, Caper. The meerkit bounds over to Ryan and butts his head against Ryans hand. Caper has just become part of our team. Now he meets us every morning as we exit the field lab. Caper alternates between following us in the trees and riding on our shoulders. He has even begun riding on Mollys and Jakes shoulders, but he is still too leery of Dean and Gregg to get too close to them. Caper is riding on my shoulder as we approach a clearing in the woods. We can see glimpses of what looks like a giant green meadow. We quicken our pace to explore it, and thats when Caper begins to act strangely. We stop and look around. We dont see anything, but the dense underbrush of the forest is all around us. Lets get to the meadow; well have a better chance of seeing whats coming at us. I gesture in the direction of the meadow. At the same time, I try to calm Caper. Something has him really riled. Hes now standing on his hind legs and pulling my hair with his front paws. Its starting to hurt. Ryan looks back at me, ready to help, but I motion for him to continue on. Its okay, Caper, I coo. As soon as we get to the meadow we will be safe. Were only a few steps away. My eyes are starting to tear from the pain in my scalp. Ouch! Caper! I yelp. Caper has jumped onto my arm and sunk his teeth into my hand. I stare down at it in disbelief. Everyone stop! I yell in panic. Ryan is only a step away from the field. Ryan, back up! Its the meadow that Caper doesnt like. How can you tell? Ryan steps back as he questions me. Unable to explain, I hold out my now bleeding hand. Ryan looks at me with apprehension. Get that thing off of you before he bites you again. He raises his hand to grab him, and I step back. The sudden hatred in Ryans eyes makes me feel afraid for Caper. Hes not going to! Hes trying to protect us! I reach up, grab Caper, and cradle him in my arms. I stare Ryan down, warning him with my eyes to keep back. Look: hes calm now. He just doesnt want us to go into that meadow. Ryans eyes narrow as he continues to stare at Caper. You cant know that. Hes an animal. He cant understand what were saying or know what our intentions are. Ryan starts to step towards me, and I continue to step back. In my peripheral vision, I notice Jake move toward me. His jaw is set, determination on his face.

No one is going to touch Caper! I curl myself around him protectively; my face and neck are only inches from his. I feel him bury his warm, furry face in my chest. Everyone, step back now. Youre frightening Caper, I warn. Ryan gasps. Brett, no! His voice cracks and the words come out as soft squeak. He looks around wildly, trying to figure out what to do. He takes a step back toward the field. We wont hurt Caper, but you need to put him down now; its too dangerous. I shake my head. He looks truly frightened. Brett, please. Think about what youre saying, about what youre doing. Theres no way you can be sure of what frightened him. You have him right next to your throat. If whatever is scaring him returns, itll be a lot worse than having your hand bleed. So please, please put him down? His voice, his eyes, and his body plead with me. I search my brain for a way to make him understand that Caper isnt a danger to any of us. No, I answer emphatically, unable to think of anything else to say. Fine, you leave me no choice. Ill have to prove that youre wrong. Put him down or Ill walk out onto this field that hes so frightened by. He holds a foot out, ready to take the last step. Ryan, no! I yell in panic, and Caper cries out with me. I take a deep breath and try to sound calm. Look, even if I were to believe that you wont hurt Caper, at this point I dont think hed let me put him down. At least try! Ryan demands. He takes another step back and slowly turns toward the meadow. I cant. Please, Ryan, dont do this! I plead. Tears are filling my eyes. I cant explain how, and I know it sounds crazy, but I know its the meadow that has Caper frightened. Theres just something very, very wrong with that meadow. If you cant trust Caper, then at least trust me, I sob. Im sorry, but if you cant put him down Ryan turns away and begins to take the final step, then stops: we all hear rustling from across the field. We watch as a rabbit-like and a fox-like creature leap out of the woods. Panic abruptly fills the foxs eyes and, in midair, both animals try to turn and change their direction. Instead, they land on their sides on top of the meadow. The meadow violently springs to life. Both animals are quickly ensnared by the vine-like tendrils of the grass. It continues to wind around them until they are no longer visible, and their pained cries are completely stifled. The only evidence that they ever existed is the green mound of grass that juts up from the field. Ryan quickly hops back from the meadow, tripping over Dean in the process. The rest of us stand frozen, horror-struck, by what we just witnessed and what could have happened. Caper is the only one that moves. He jumps back on my shoulder and unzips my pack. Before I have time to unfreeze and respond, hes taken out my first-aid kit and is trying to tear it open. Im sorry, Caper, Ryan says softly. He walks over and helps Caper open the first-aid box. Caper grabs the icepack and activates it as hes seen me do before. Im so, so sorry, Brett. Ryan

says in a choked whisper. I can feel his hands shake as he carefully grabs my hand to clean and wrap the bite. I look and see tears welling in his eyes. Its okay; I didnt understand what Caper was trying to say at first either. I reach out with my non-bleeding hand and rub Caper on the head. Sorry, Brett. We should know by now not to doubt your instincts. Jake gives me a sheepish smile. I look around, and see that everyones faces are covered with looks of guilt. Hey, tragedy averted, people. Lets be glad and stop beating ourselves up. I look around and see most of their faces brighten. Lets get back to camp. Despite the intentions of the bite, it still hurts, and Im not sure how my hand will react to it. Besides, we need to warn the other teams about this meadow, in case there are more. I turn and start back. I feel Ryan walking besides me. Im really sorry I doubted you. Ryans face is contorted with guilt. Hey: look on the bright side. You found your first carnivorous plant, I say, trying to lighten the mood. I hope its the last, he says. Im quarantined to the field hospital for the next few days while the bite heals at a surprisingly fast rate. In the meantime, we alert the base of our discovery, and the rest of the team returns to study it further. Our horror over the carnivorous grass is overshadowed by our excitement. As frightening as it is, its also a fascinating discovery. Ryan is anxious to determine how it reproduces, and to identify any and all signs that could help us identify deadly meadow before stepping on it. In just a day, Ryan is able to determine that it spreads by both seed and runners, and it springs to life any time it detects motion. So tossing a stick or a rock onto any new field will easily determine if its carnivorous. The reproduction information is enough for the base to decide to destroy it. They cant chance it getting onto the base or becoming widespread. We return to the field lab to complete our quarantine, and return to base while the soldiers march out to destroy the field. We dont want to bear witness to it. While we understand the reasons behind the action, we cant condone the whole kill first, ask questions later attitude. The next time we travel to where the meadow had been, all thats left is a deep, muddy pit and scorch marks on the surrounding trees.

Chapter 17 Another Thursday night rolls around, and Im on the base, which means another dinner night with my group of friends. Andis Thursday night dinner plans are working pretty well. I find the table full most Thursdays and tonights no exception. Im happy to see that they all are acting more like their usual selves again. They must have finally overcome the newness of their romantic relationships. This Thursday, Andi insists I come to her lab after dinner. Without asking why, I agree. When I get there, Andi lets her frustration show. Whats wrong? I ask, not used to seeing her in such a state. My field manager keeps rejecting all of my recent inventions without explaining why. I need your help to show him how useful they can be. Ive made them all with your team in mind. She takes out a duffel bag and starts pulling things out. She hands me a thick silver rectangle. Its about the size of a clipboard and is bound with Velcro straps. What this? I ask as I take it from her. Its instant shelter and protection. Try unfolding it and setting it up without instructions. I want your honest opinion on it. She looks nervous as she waits for me to open it. I grab what I think might be an edge and let the rest of it unfold. With a quick snap of my wrist, it forms what looks like an igloo, minus the entrance. I look at the bottom portion and notice it zips to the top. I climb inside and zip it shut. A miniscule amount of light filters through the air vents on the sides of the igloo. The zipper is waterproof, so you dont need to worry about rain seeping in, Andi points out. I can tell she is anxious for me to like it, but I know shell get mad if my enthusiasm seems faked. Not bad. Now lets see how it folds back up. I unzip it and attempted to refold it. After several attempts and me scrunching my face up in my pursed-lip-thinking way, Andi suggests I turn it upside down. As soon as I do, it easily collapses into itself. All thats left to do is to fold the bottom flap together and secure it all with the Velcro straps. He didnt give you a reason for saying no? I couldnt see any reason for an objection. Did you run into any problems with your testing? She shakes her head almost violently. No. All he said is I should refocus my attention on something other than camping. Weird. I think its pretty fantastic, I answer honestly, but remember to keep my tone calm enough to sound real. Now show me the rest. I pull the duffel bag toward me and begin pull things out by myself. Andi spends the rest of the evening explaining what everything is for. The only thing I can find fault with is her jerky. She claims

it gives all the nutrients you needed to stay alive, but it tastes horrible. Apart from that, everything is brilliant. Im just as confused as Andi is as to why it was all rejected. I easily agree to carry the inventions with me whenever Im in the field, and promise to report every time I find a use for one of them, even the jerky. I have the weekend off, so I make plans to spend Sunday with Brody. I havent entirely forgiven him for not defending me, but I also figure he cant make it up to me if Im not around. I guess he figures the same. When I meet him, he greets me with a blindfold and tells me that he has a surprise. Im not crazy about the blindfold part, but I play along. After the second time I trip, he scoops me up and carries me the rest of the way. Finally, he takes the blindfold off and he stands me up. Where are we? I look around. Were standing in a kitchen with a little dining area to my left and a living room straight in front of me. Are we inside married housing? I sputter. Im not too keen about him breaking and entering for me. Yup. I figured we could use the day to relax and just enjoy each others company without any distractions. He gives me a broad smile, like its the best idea in the world. We could get in a lot of trouble if were caught here. I glance around anxiously. Dont worry. Its my buddys house. He and his wife are out in the field for a couple of days, so he gave me the keys, he tries to reassure me. And is his wife okay with it? I ask doubtfully. Oh yeah, Sheilas cool. Shes a diehard romantic and all. Im not sure what the and all means, but I quickly realize just how much isolation and privacy hes arranged. Brody, I hope you dont expect me to Im not trying to make you do anything, honest. It just like I said: I want to spend the day with you just relaxing. Look, I even have lunch. He opens the fridge and takes out a tray. I smile and wonder just how much Sheila has to do with arranging everything. Ill have to thank her when I meet her. Lunch turns out to be lemonade and ham sandwiches. Nothing gourmet, but I appreciate the thought, and Brody keeps to his word. He never once tries to reach below the waist or under my shirt. I spend the majority of the day cradled in his arms just talking. I sigh as he slowly kisses his way up my neck. Whats wrong? His face crinkles as he looked at me. Nothing. I was just thinking what a nice day this has been, but that its going to be over soon. Its almost time for dinner. We dont have to leave for dinner. I have that too. He smiles. I didnt make it, though. Its

eggplant. Andi told me that its your favorite, he adds with a playful smirk. When did you talk to Andi? I ask, now suspicious that this whole day had been her idea. I talked to Andi when I knew you were still mad at me for being such a jerk. I figured if anyone could help me make it up to you, she could, he admits. He looks like hes bracing himself to be yelled at. Well then youre a very smart man. I giggle and throw my arms around him to kiss him. The only problem is Im not ready for dinner yet. Then how about we skip to dessert? I roll my eyes, annoyed at where his mind has wandered. No, really, I have a cake for you. He lets go of me and walks over to the fridge Have a seat while I get it ready. He even pulls the chair out on his way past. I sit down, surprised. Just when I thought I had him figured . He places the cake in front of me. I look down and gasp. On the cake, badly written in icing, are the words Marry Me. I look over as Brody grabs my hand and see hes next to me on one knee. He has a jewelry box in his other hand. He opens it up and takes out a gold ring with a large solitaire diamond and places it on my finger. Its a perfect fit. Suddenly the room feels too small and Im having difficulty breathing. I can tell Brody is saying something to me, but I cant understand what it is: the rushing sound of pulsing blood is just too loud in my head. I try to stand and get outside to get some fresh air, but everything just goes black. I open my eyes to Brodys amused face. What happened? I look around and realize Im lying on a bed. We got engaged and you fainted. He chuckles at me. I look down on my hand and see the diamond. It looks so strange there. I never actually said yes, did I? I look at Brodys face and realize it doesnt much matter if I did or didnt. He thinks were engaged and to say anything otherwise will crush him. Im surprised by the proposal, but this is what I was planning for in the long term, isnt it? Its just a lot sooner than I ever planned on. Brody leans down and starts to kiss me. His masculine scent overwhelms my senses and a heat surges throughout my body. How can I have any doubts? I reach up and pull him onto me. I feel the weight of his body crush mine into the bed. I run my fingers through his hair and kiss him even harder. He shifts his weight and grabs my thigh, wrapping my leg around him. Then I feel his hand reach up the front of my shirt and feel my heat doused in a frigid, cold anger. I push him off, finally figuring out where my doubt is coming from. He frowns at me, confused. You think that asking me to marry you is going to get me into bed? My voice is harsh. Youre already in bed, he teases, and leans back in to kiss me.

I push him back. Im serious. So you want to wait until our wedding night now? He sounds hurt. I shivered at the word wedding. No, thats not what Im saying; I just dont want tonight to be about sex. My voice is softer now. I may be having mixed feelings, but I dont want to spoil the evening. His response is a blistering cold stare. He gets up and walks back into the kitchen. I follow and watch him toss the eggplant into the oven. So because I say no to sex, youre going to act like were an old married couple? I joke in an attempt to break his mood. Brett, I dont think you realize what you do to me. Youre driving me crazy. I just want to get as close to you as I can and you keep pushing me away. He continues to look wounded. Im not pushing you away, I protest, but even as I say the words I know theres some truth to them. I want to be as close as I can to you, too. Today has been such a wonderful day. One Ill remember for the rest of my life. Our first time together will be another wonderful memory Ill remember forever. It will just be on a different night, thats all. He relaxes his shoulders, and I know the fight is over. I walk over to him and he wraps his arms around me, buries his face in my hair, and sighs. As I hold him, I realize that the long engagement I was considering wont actually be an option. I mentally chide myself for being the most commitment phobic girl on this planet. After we eat dinner, we walk back toward the rec halls. Brody tells me that I can find Andi in the library. He jokes that half the fun of getting engaged for girls is telling everyone about it. He couldnt be more wrong in my case. Just the idea of telling Andi has me full of angry butterflies. He kisses me goodbye, and I head to the library. I stuff the ring into my pocket before finding Andi. Hi, I casually greet her. Hi, what are you doing here? I can hear the anticipation in her voice. I just figured Id find myself a good book to read. What are you reading? I intentionally grab her book, so she can easily see that my finger is bare. Its just a murder mystery. How was your day with Brody? She looks confused now, and I have to work to keep a straight face. It was nice. We spent the day at his friends house, just relaxing and talking. He even had eggplant for dinner. I watch Andi closely, waiting for her to betray herself. Thats it? Her voice cracks as she questions me. I can tell she isnt sure what else she should say, just in case Brody had cold feet. The librarian glares in our direction, and I gesture towards the roof access. Andi follows. I can feel her building anticipation with every step we take. We finally

reach the roof. Andi cautiously asks, So he didnt say or do anything unusual? Ha! I knew you knew! I shout, pointing at her chest. Andi, you really need to give me more warning on surprises like that. He caught me completely off-guard, and I almost had a heart attack. I say the words slowly, emphasizing my distress. Surprises are good for you. Besides, you would have never forgiven me if I told you ahead of time. Andi is back to her usual bubbly self. You could have dropped some subtle hints so I at least suspected something was up. I cross my arms and pretend to pout. Oh, stop whining and show it to me already. Youre still standing, so I know you didnt have a heart attack. She is smirking now. No, but I had a panic attack and passed out. I pull the ring from my pocket and place it on my finger. Ha ha, youre hilarious, she says dryly, but then seeing the look on my face she asks, No! You didnt? Did you? Andi covers her mouth in an attempt to control her laughter. Yeah I did, so next time theres a big surprise, a little warning would be appreciated. I hold out my hand and allow her to inspect the ring. Wow, its beautiful. You know how strange you are, dont you? Youll face wolves, wild monkeys and will go toe-to-toe with any soldier out there, but throw commitment your way and you fall apart. Thats not fair, I chide her, but drop my eyes and add, Thats kind of what I wanted to talk to you about, though. I drop my head into my hands, and let all my conflicting feelings wash over me. So youre having second thoughts, but you already said yes and accepted the ring? Andi asks incredulously. No, I say harshly. I never gave him an answer. I passed out. And when I came to, Brody said were engaged. What was I supposed to do, tell he were not and crush him? I exclaim with obvious irritation. Andi scowls at my reaction. So is Brody the person you want to be with? I nod; she continues. Can you see yourself old with him? Again I nod. Do you love him? Seeing the look on my face, she amends, It doesnt matter if youve said it to each other. It matters if you feel it. Do you love him? she asks and patiently waits for some kind of response. Exasperated, I blurt out, I think so yes maybe. I huffed and threw up my hands. Oh, I dont know. My heart tells me one thing, but my stupid brain keeps getting in the way. I just dont know what I feel and what I should do. I finally break down into tears. Andi smiles sympathetically at my forlorn expression and wraps an arm around my shoulders. Oh, honey, youll be okay. For starters, you need to calm yourself down, and stop putting so much

pressure on yourself. I sniff and nod my head in understanding. Alright, now you dont need to listen to me, but I suggest wearing the ring for a few days a see how it feels. If in a week it still doesnt feel right, talk to Brody. Hell understand, and even if he doesnt, a decision still will have been made. She arches one of her perfectly plucked eyebrows at me. You make it sound so simple. And you make everything harder than it needs to be. Thats why we get along so well: I balance you out. Andi laughs and says, Im guessing you havent had a chance to pick a date yet. No, but I do know who my maid of honor will be. I look at her with a devilish glint in my eye. Really? Oh, Brett, thank you! She knocks me over with her hug. You act as if I might have asked someone else, I laugh as I stand myself back up.

Chapter 18 The next morning I quickly eat breakfast alone and head to the field lab. Im wearing the ring like Andi suggested, but Im not in the mood to be the center of everyones attention. I know I cant put the gawking off forever, but I can at least delay it until after my field visit. When I get to the lab, Ryan is the only one there. I grab my pack and begin loading Andis inventions into it. I notice Ryans eyes fall upon my ring, but hes kind enough not to ask any questions. I sigh and unpack everything. I cant get it to zip shut with all of Andis stuff added to it. After struggling for several minutes, I finally get everything to fit. Of course if I need to take something out its going be a nightmare getting it back in. Finally, I relent and take one of the cameras out. I can carry it until I find a spot to place it. I stand up, and see Ryan watching me with an amused expression. What? I demand. Since when do you find it necessary to bring the kitchen sink? Up until now, I thought you were a bare essentials kind of girl. He crosses his arms and chuckles at me. I roll my eyes and ignore his question. Instead I busy myself with going over the map. Oh, Brett, congratulations! Molly squeals and hurries over to hug me. Ive been concentrating so hard on ignoring Ryan that I didnt notice Jake and Molly enter. Its beautiful. When did he ask you? she squeaks, and I cringe. Molly is only one girl, a girl that I like, and the attention is already unbearable. Reminding myself that shes just genuinely happy for me, I answer, Last night. It might have been my imagination, but out of the corner of my eye I think I see Ryan and Jake exchange a meaningful look. They suddenly appear uncomfortable and impatient to leave. So how did he propose? Youll have to tell me all the details, Molly continues, and now I feel just as uncomfortable and impatient to leave as Ryan and Jake. Did you cry? she adds. I blush. Ill tell you all about it later, but for now I think we should get going before these two flee over the idea of commitment. I grab my pack and put it on my back. Its undeniably bulkier, but not much heavier. After our lifesaving experience with Caper, we decided to revisit the meerkit area. Were disappointed when we find that they are gone. There are no signs of recent activity in the area, which also explains why we hadnt seen Caper yet. So instead of visiting the meerkits, we continue on to the river that we had originally intended to explore the day we first met Caper. We find that its at the bottom of a tall, narrow canyon.

To appease Ryans worry, I allow him to rappel down the cliff into the canyon first. I follow next. Then we wait impatiently by the side of the river. Apparently, Jake is having equipment issues. The hot sun reflects off the water and the rock, making it feel even warmer. We both kick rocks to distract ourselves while waiting. I suddenly have the urge to look up, and when I do, I realize something is profoundly wrong. The rest of our team is dancing around, yelling, and trying to get our attention. I cant hear what they are saying, but I see them point upriver, and I strain to hear their words. Ryan, I say in alarm as I try to figure out whats going on. I look down at the small trickle of water at my feet, and then glance up to the different shaded sections on the side of the canyon walls. A sense of foreboding hits me. Im not sure if I hear or feel the rumble that confirms my fear. Flash flood! I bellow at Ryan and watch as the blood drains from his face. How could I have been so stupid? The amount of water in the canyon doesnt match what the satellite pictures had shown. A quick glance at the canyons walls would have told me that we were in danger here. But I neglected to notice it earlier, and my mistake will condemn us both to death. Now as I look, I can clearly see erosion marks from previous flash floods, and a line where the usual water level is. Ryan and I stare at each other in horror. In his eyes, I see hes deduced the same thing. Theres nowhere for us to go, and no way to climb above the flood line in time. I look around desperately for some form of hope, and remember Andis inventions stuffed inside my pack. I quickly rip it off and grab her igloo from inside. What are you doing? Weve got to get out of here! Ryan yells at me. You climb first; Ill follow. He tries pushing me in the direction of the rope, but I pull away. We both know theres no time. Well never make it. I can feel the ground vibrating already. Youll have to trust me. I quickly erect the igloo. It pops up as easily as it had the other night. Get in and start sealing up all the vents, I order Ryan. He looks at me confused, but he climbs in and grabs the duct tape I hand to him. I quickly zip the igloo shut and join him in covering vents. The rumbling outside grows louder and louder. As we cover the last vent, the sound is deafening. Ryan wraps himself around me, and pushes me down to the floor with him, just as the water hits. Were slammed against the side of the igloo. It tumbles in the rushing water and debris. We hold onto each other as were rolled around with the igloo. I let out a grunt as one of the packs slams into me. Ryan manages to bat it down to his feet, and wraps it between them. After several attempts, I manage to do the same with the other pack. I bury my face in his shoulder. Even if the igloo somehow

holds together and doesnt sink, the tumbling alone may kill us. The igloo is jolted to a brief stop, and were both slammed into the wall again. I feel a crack in my ribs, and let out a gasp of pain. Ryans arms encircle me more. I cant hear him over the roar of the water, but I feel his breath against my ear as he tries to reassure me. Fortunately, whatever we hit pulled us out of the churning lead waters of the flood. Instead of tumbling uncontrollably, were now rushing along, upside down, on the top of the flood waters. We now have a chance of surviving if the duct tape holds. We seem to float forever, but the ride is far from smooth. We stay wrapped in each others arms as we periodically slam into random objects. Im beginning to worry about our air supply, when things finally feel like theyre slowing down. The ride becomes rough again as the water recedes, and we begin hitting more objects. I feel a blinding pain as my head slams against the side, and we tumble to a final stop. The igloo is upside down, so Ryan reaches up and carefully unzips it. We both breathe a sigh of relief when were greeted with blinding sunlight and not water. Ryan climbs out, and starts dragging the igloo with me still in it. Before I have a chance to protest, he says, Im clearing us out of the debris field. Dont move. You hit your head really hard. Once he seems satisfied, he climbs back in, and I try to sit up. Ryan holds me down. Cant you listen to anything I say? he barks sternly, but his face is washed with relief. He laughs at me in spite of himself. So were both alive then. I laugh back at him, and confirm that I definitely have a broken rib. Ouch, I exclaim. Whats wrong? He looks worried again. Broken rib, I think. Hopefully Im wrong, and its just cracked. Does anything else hurt? he asks, alarmed, looking at me as if I could break into pieces at any moment. Despite my discomfort, I intentionally keep my voice light. Ill probably be bruised head-totoe tomorrow, but I think my head and rib are the only real injuries. You? Just bumps and bruises. Where is the rib? I need to look at it. He starts feeling my ribs before I can answer. Youll have to let me up then; its on my back. I try to raise myself, but he still has me pinned down. Okay, Ill help you sit up, but slowly, he warns, placing his hand behind my shoulder to guide me. Yes, mother, I tease, and I reluctantly allow him to sit me up. Is this where it is? He gently feels my ribs as I direct him toward the injured one.

I flinch under his touch. Ouch, yeah. You found it. Were lucky. I think its just a crack. Ill have to tape it up for you. Were lucky? Is my rib now attached to you? I joke, but intentionally refrain from laughing. No, but it will affect how fast we can travel back home. His face falls. He now had a decidedly somber look. Our elation of surviving quickly disappears, and is replaced by the seriousness of our situation. How far away are we? I wonder. Im not sure, but judging by the amount of time we were caught in the flood we could be weeks away from the base. Well lets get me taped up, so we can get going. I try to sound upbeat, though Im anything but. Hey: no acting. We both know how bad the situation is. But thanks to you, were at least alive to face it. He grins at me, obviously trying to act upbeat too. What a sweet hypocrite he is. Actually, thanks to Andi and her igloo. I hope its still usable? I look around for signs of damage. We wont know until we try collapsing it. Well do a lot better if we have portable shelter and protection. We should stay close to the river, so we dont miss the search party, I suggest. So do you think its safe to cross to the east side of the river from here, or should we wait until were further upstream? I peek out of the igloo and have my answer. The river has overflowed its banks where the cliffs end. The entire area is a muddy mess of dirt and debris, and in the very center, the river continues to rage past. Oh, never mind. I sigh. I agree we should stay near the river, at least to have a reliable source of water. For now, we should stay on the west side. The ground around the riverbed cant be very stable right now, and even if we wait for the current to subside, it still wouldnt be safe. Well have to look later for a safe place to cross. I want to stay out of the flood zone, for obvious reasons, but we can always climb down if we get desperate enough for water. He stops talking, but I have the feeling that he is leaving something unsaid. He smiles at me, but I can still see worry peeking out from behind his eyes. But? I prompt him. He groans and reluctantly continues. Brett, do you remember how badly we were tumbling at first? The others probably think were dead. We dont have any airplanes built on this planet yet, because of the lack of fuel for them, and theres no way any vehicle could make it through this terrain. We have to consider the very real possibility that there may not be any rescue party. Just like his answer, Ryans face is grim.

So its just us. My face crinkles in distress. Oh, Ryan, Im so sorry. Its my fault were in this mess. If I had just looked at the walls of the canyon, I would have known to get us out of there before it was too late. I dont know, maybe I should have just climbed the rope with you. We might have gotten high enough before the water hit. Ryan grabs the sides of my face and stares intently into my eyes. Now lets get this straight: we are not going to play the blame game here. I have eyes just like you. I could have noticed the canyon walls too, but neither of us did. None of that matters now. Your crazy instincts were, once again, right. We would never have cleared the flood area in time. You were right to use the igloo. As insane as it seemed at the time, it was the right choice, and its the reason were both here now. I slowly nod, and he releases me, but his intense stare never breaks. Hes not going to allow me to second-guess or guilt myself. So, is being stuck with me your worst nightmare come true or what? I playfully punch him in the arm in an attempt to liven the mood, but I forget about my rib and end up wincing in pain. You may make me crazy at times, but theres not a more capable person I could choose to be stuck with, he chuckles back at me. Lets tape you up. He grabs the first-aid kit from my pack. I try lifting my shirt up, but the motion causes too much pain. In the end, he has to take my shirt completely off and do all the taping by himself. Im so embarrassed to have him help me this way. Despite the fact that my black sports bra covers more than a bikini, I feel naked and exposed. He seems to understand, and goes about the job without saying a word. In my current state, I certainly dont feel capable. I cant do much more than walk right now. Ryan actually has to lift me out of the igloo, because I cant even climb out on my own. I sit uselessly as he collapses it and packs everything up. He finds Andis jerky in my bag and asks what it is. I forgot about that invention of Andis. Its doesnt taste very good, but one piece contains as many nutrients as a full meal, she says. I make a face, remembering just how horrid the taste and the aftertaste are. Remind me to thank Andi profusely when we get back. He opens the container and takes a sniff, but decides against tasting it. So do you want to tease me now about over-packing? I ask, cocking my head to the side and making a goofy face. I swear I will never accuse you of over-packing again, even if you do pack the kitchen sink. Ryan crosses his heart. Stop making me laugh; it hurts, I beg.

Oops. Ill try not to. He places my pack on his back and curls his under his arm. Apparently, he also thinks I cant do much more than walk. Theres plenty of daylight still, so we began our journey upstream. Were careful to give the river a wide berth in case there are more flash floods. As we walk, Ryan empties out our sample containers to make room for water and any edibles we may find along the way. At least our canteens are already full. It isnt long before we find a patch of opal berries growing along a little side stream. The skin on them is strange. It reflects a rainbow of colors depending how you turn it in the light. The flesh and the juice inside are clear. Ryan insists that he should be the one to test them. He thinks Im too weak from my injuries and wont listen to my protests. I watch him rub the berry juice on his lips. When theres no reaction he tastes a small amount of the juice. It doesnt taste bitter; its actually really sweet, he comments before eating a small amount of the berries. Lets pick what we can and head out. If I dont have a reaction, we can have them for breakfast. Mmm, its jerky for me tonight, I say, rubbing my stomach theatrically. Pain stabs in my back, and I instantly regret the motion. Better one of us is in a little discomfort than both of us dead from being rash. He looks at me, scolding me with his eyes. Youre always the worry wart. I was just making light of things. Theres not much else to do in a situation like this but cry or laugh. I choose to laugh. I hold my hands up to represent a scale and remember my rib, too late. This time I manage not to grimace in front of Ryan; hes already looking worried enough for the both of us. We collect enough berries to last us through the next two or three days. We walk until sunset. Then Ryan sets up the igloo in an area we judge to be safe from flooding. We hold our noses and dine on the jerky. Then we try not to waste too much of the water in our canteens as we attempt to wash the taste down. What happened to cause that flash flood? I wonder. We havent had rain for weeks, and we havent built any dams to worry about bursting. I know. Youd expect a flood in that kind of canyon if there had been a lot of torrential rain. He pauses and looks thoughtful for a moment. Of course, we really dont know what was happening upriver. There could have been a natural dam that burst or some other natural disaster that led to it. His lips purse as if deep in thought again. If you think about it, we rarely saw large scale flash floods on Earth because anywhere that had the potential for a large flash flood had a dam or something to prevent it. Good point. When we get back, we can suggest building a few dams. I yawn. Im ready for

some sleep. We never planned on camping, so Ryan is without a sleeping bag. Im fortunate enough to have one courtesy of Andi. It looks like it was made out of a foil paper, but it can be inflated to make a comfortable bedding and even comes with an inflatable pillow . We decide to lay the sleeping bag open and flat. That way we both have something to cushion us. Ryan insists that I keep the pillow, claiming his pack is just as comfortable. Fortunately it doesnt get cold at night yet, so we easily choose the safety of the zippered igloo over the warmth of a fire. Without the pods, my sleep is fitful at best. I keep tossing and turning and waking myself up with the pain in my rib. When I do finally sleep, Ryan wakes me with his tossing and turning. By morning, Im exhausted.

Chapter 19 The good news is that Ryan is alive and has no strange welts or rashes, so that means I am able to have opal berries for breakfast. The bad news is he looks just as tired as I am. Ryan counts out our berries and hands me a container. Hungrily, I pop some in my mouth. They arent anything like what I expected. Ryan said they were sweet, but that cant begin to describe the blend of delicate flavors that assault my tongue. Its sweet and tangy and fruity all at the same time. The taste is so intense that my tongue tingles. Breakfast is so much more enjoyable than dinner had been. By the end of it, we are both smiling. After breakfast, we continue walking. I notice the landscape surrounding us is slightly different from back at the base. There are more red-barked trees here, and theyre wider and taller than at base camp. The canopy is also less dense, so more sunlight makes its way down to the ground. Its easiest for us to travel between the river and the woods. While there arent any cliffs yet, theres a very wide area on either side of the river that is just rock, so very little grows there. The following day we wake up to the sound of rain drumming on the igloo. The rain that probably caused our flash flood has found us. We are both tired from another fitful night of sleep, but we know we cant afford to sit still and wait out the rain. So instead, we travel through it. We both have thin waterproof parkas, but traveling is still miserable. Our boots are quickly waterlogged, and our faces are peppered by hard pellets of windblown rain. The rain makes the rock under our feet slippery, so we have to travel through the woods. The undergrowth in the woods brushes against our pants and soaks them. We fall asleep at night, cold and utterly exhausted. The exhaustion only seems to fuel Ryans nightmares. My sleep is torn violently away as he screams, No! But when I look at him, hes still asleep. His tossing and turning worsen, and I can hear him whimpering. Im scared hes going to hurt himself. He starts flailing around and screaming, Im in here! Please, somebody! Anybody! Get me out! When he starts banging against the walls, I try to wake him, but Im rewarded with an elbow in my eye. After my vision steadies, I wrap myself around him, pinning his legs with mine and hugging his arms to his side. The restraint wakes him up. Knowing that neither of us will get any sleep now, and that I need an explanation, Ryan drops his head and quietly says, I had just got my learners permit, so as a surprise, after school my dad and two brothers picked me up and announced I was driving to hockey practice. It wasnt my first time driving, but it was pouring with rain. Dad insisted it would be good practice for me. I should have hopped on the turnpike, but he insisted I take the back roads, even though it meant taking the old

highway. I should have refused. He swallows hard as if clearing his throat. Hey, its okay. You dont need to explain anything, I offer, seeing the pain on his face. Ryan just shakes his head and continues. The old highway was cement with two lanes on each side, a grass-median in the middle. For as long as I can remember, there had been talk about repaving it, but it never happened. When it rained, huge lakes of puddles would form all along the highway. Only locals ever drove it, but they never drove it slow. I had just entered a large lake of a puddle, when I noticed the brake lights of the car in front of me slam on. I was already in the puddle, so all I could do was take my foot off the accelerator and watch in horror as the car in front of me spun around. Somehow, by the time I reached it, it had zipped across the grass median into the oncoming traffic. I thought we were safe, until I heard my dad swear. The car to the right of us must have reacted to the spinning car, because all of a sudden he slammed into us and caused us to spin across the median. I gasp, causing Ryan to pause. Somehow I straightened the car out and came to a stop right on the shoulder of oncoming traffic. I was still shaking when my dad laughed and threw his phone at me, and told me to get some experience reporting an accident. Of course, I dropped the phone on the floor, so I unbuckled A heart-wrenching sob chokes Ryan off, and I instinctively wrap my arms around him. Its hard to see him in so much pain. Its a while before hes finally able to continue. Wiping his eyes, and staring far away, he says, The original car had caused a chain reaction on both sides of the highway. While I was leaning across the front seat reaching for the phone, an airborne SUV crashed into the top of us, killing everyone else and pinning me. It was a big accident, and it was a long time before they could get to me. All I could do was listen for signs that anyone was there, but all I heard was the rain. He pauses. The pods kept my nightmares away, but here He gestures towards the igloos roof, and the relentless pounding rain that must sound like hes back, trapped in his car. Oh, Ryan, how terrible, I gasp. If its still raining tomorrow, well find somewhere to sleep where its not falling on us, I offer, unable to think of anything consoling to say. He shakes his head. Its not practical to waste time and energy for a spot to sleep just because I have a bad dream or two. I start to argue, but the stare he gives stops me. After several nights of barely any sleep, last nights nightmare and the continued rain, Ryan and I are despondent. The only thing that keeps us moving and walking is not knowing what else to do. Were now out of berries and only have the jerky left. Its so early into our trip, and already our outlook is bleak. We know at this rate we will never make it back home. Its still pouring rain at the end of the day. Ryan feels horrible about the black eye hes given

me, but he still refuses to spend time and energy looking for a spot out of the rain. Instead, he curls up on the metal floor of the igloo, as far away from me as he can get. I try to offer him the sleeping bag, but he insists I keep it. Inevitably he starts to toss and turn, but instead of shying away from him, I get as close as I can. I wrap my arms and the sleeping bag around him, and coo reassuring sounds into his ear as you would do with a child. It seems to work, and soon hes sleeping soundly. Blissfully, I wake up to sunlight filtering through the vents of the igloo, and realize that I feel rested. I close my eyes and listen to a bird, or some other animal, chirping in the distance. Thats when I hear Ryan sigh, and realize hes still next to me, his arm draped over me. Startled, I bolt upright, and he grunts as hes tossed over onto the metal floor. Seeing his shocked expression, I quickly explain, You started tossing in your sleep, I put my arm around you, and you calmed down again. You didnt have any more nightmares after that. The silence is unbearable as I wait for his response. Finally, he shrugs and says, Im just glad that we both finally got a decent nights sleep, and that I dont feel like the walking dead. Then he starts to unzip the igloo as if nothing happened, asking, Do you feel like jerky for breakfast or do you want to try some foraging before we resort to it? We are both relieved and hopeful that traveling will be much easier now. It is. Over the next several days, we develop a pattern. We stop to forage for food when it presents itself, and approach the river only to refill our canteens as needed. We walk through the day until sunset and then settle in for the night in the igloo. We now sleep with the sleeping bag zipped up, and Ryans arms curled around me. As intimate as the position seems, its simply a necessity. It keeps the nightmares at bay. Ryan insists on being the one to try any new food we find. Fortunately, we seem to find a lot of opal berries growing around little side streams. Im also surprised at how quickly my ribs feel better. After just a few days, I feel back to normal again. Ryan must have done a heck of a job taping me up. As we travel, we fill our time by asking each other questions. So, you and Brody? he says to me out of the blue, letting the words hang in the air. What do you mean? I ask warily. He just doesnt seem like your type at all. You guys are really opposite. First of all, Im not a guy, I chastise. He rolls his eyes at me. I know that. Well, youre right; we are opposite, but havent you ever heard the phrase opposites attract? I answer coyly. Of course I have, but youre such a strong, smart, confident woman, and hes seems like a

misogynist that prefers his women to be docile; seen but not heard. I take a moment to respond. Im not used to anyone viewing me that way. Im not sure if I should thank you for the compliment, or hit you for calling my fianc a woman-hater. I suppress a shiver: Im still not comfortable with the word fianc. Ryan just shrugs. He occasionally has Neanderthal tendencies, but Im quick to correct him on them, and hes well aware that I will never be docile or quiet. The majority of it is a show for his friends. Ill never understand a males need to appear to be uber-macho in front of other guys, I admit. But the way he makes me feel when Im around him more than makes up for those moments. I blush, realizing Ive said more than I intended. He just nods. Theres a strange look on his face that I cant read. Attempting to shift the focus back onto him, I pry, So, what about you and Kelly? I would have picked you for the type who likes a woman with substance. Kelly strikes me as the prom-queenBarbie-doll type, mostly concerned about appearances. I notice a touch of sarcasm or is it jealousy? has crept into my voice, so I give a light laugh to indicate Im kidding. Ouch, dont hold anything back. But seeing how you were honest about Brody No, she wasnt in school long enough to be voted prom queen, but yes she has moments where she can be a bit shallow. In those instances, I simply remind her of the more important things. But like you said, the way she makes me feel makes her nuances worth it. He smirks as he throws my own words back at me. Nuances. Thats an interesting way to word it. I pause and then add, Isnt Kelly a bit high maintenance? I mean, come on, the girl intentionally wears her clothes a size too small and has bribed one of the inventors to create a perfume just for her. I bite my lip, knowing Ive said too much and stepped half into the realm of cattiness. What? Her clothes fit her fine; shes just curvy. And if shes creative enough to get a nice perfume, then good for her. Ryan gives me a scalding glare, and I cringe. Sorry. I got bit carried away. I just think you deserve better. I give him my best puppy-dog face. Fine, he huffs. I suppose Kelly would be what youd call high maintenance if we were back on Earth. Ryan hesitates. Fortunately, there are no status symbols here no fancy restaurants or gifts to buy. That makes the relationship with Kelly pretty easy. I just give her the attention she needs, and shes happy. His voice catches on the last words. Okay, shes happy, but what do you get out of the relationship? It isnt just one-sided, is it? As soon as the words escape my mouth I regret my candor. No, its not just one-sided, he refutes. I like spending time with Kelly. She makes me feel He blushes, uncomfortable sharing whatever thought is on his mind. Yeah, Brody makes me feel that way too, I admit, sparing him from completing the sentence.

From that point on, we stay clear of the relationship topic.

Chapter 20 At the beginning of our second week, we decide to follow a side stream that feeds into to the main river. Were hoping to find some berries and a place to wash up. Theres no hiding the fact that we both stink, and our clothes are starting to get stiff from layers of sweat and dirt. The beautiful sight we find awes us. The stream is fed by a small lake that has a waterfall running into it. The bottom of the lake is lined with white rock that reflects the light. We can see all the way down to the very bottom. Surrounding the lake are more bushes of opal berries than we can count. I turn and to Ryan and ask, Are you up for a nice long break? You read my mind. He smiles and starts unlacing his boots. Ive been craving a bath so much. I closely inspect the water and happily dont see any areas where anything dangerous could be hiding. Satisfied with my inspection, I dip my hand in. The water is warm. Ryan sniffs himself and makes a gagging noise. I certainly could use one. Skinny dipping? He looks at me with a crooked smile. You wish. We need to wash our clothes, anyway. I take my boots off and dip my toes in the water. Its so warm it reminds me of a bath. I jump in, and Ryan quickly follows. The water feels unbelievably refreshing and invigorating. I swim to the side and grab the soap I have in my backpack. I smirk at the memory of my team giving me a hard time over packing soap with my toothpaste and toothbrush; they thought it was overkill. I remove my shirt and pants. I scrub them in the water as best as I can, and then lay them on one of the warm white rocks to dry. I wash myself and my hair, then I offer the soap to Ryan so he can do the same. At last I feel human again. Once Ryan is finished, I reach up and put the soap on the rocks to dry. The movement reminds me of the tape still on my ribs. Hey, Ryan, can you take the tape off me? I dont think I need it anymore. It hasnt been long enough for it to have healed, he scolds. It must have just been bruised. How about you take the tape off and if it starts bothering me again Ill let you tape me back up? I offer in my sweetest tone. We dont have much tape to waste, he grumbles, but seeing my disappointed face, he relents and says, Fine, itll give me a chance to examine it again anyway. I cant help but grin in satisfaction. Thank you, I say gratefully and swim over to him. I hold my arms up, and slowly twirl in the

water as Ryan untapes me. He pokes and prods the area for a bit, but nothing hurts. He gives me one final hard jab to make sure Im not pretending. In response, I splash some water in his direction. Hey! Are you trying to re-break it now? I squeak, and dodge his returning splash. Just promise youll tell me the second it starts bothering you again. He sounds stern. Cross my heart. We swim for a while. For a brief amount of time, we forget our predicament and play like were kids again. After that, we sprawl out on the warm stone, and let the sun dry us off. Eventually our clothes dry and we are able to get dressed. Darn it! I swear as I feel the elastic snap back against my hand. Ryan turns, looking quizzically in my direction. Whats wrong? My hair elastic just snapped on me, and I dont have another one, I growl with frustration. I feel tears welling up and threatening to spill down my cheeks. I know Im overreacting, but I also know that I cant help myself right now. It looks nice down, Ryan offers helpfully, still unaware of my mental turmoil. I snarl at him, and plunge into a rant. The problem is Im not going for looks, but for practicality. I dont have a brush, my hair is a tangled mess, and now I cant even tie it back out of my face. Despite the relaxing morning wed had, my eyes flash with anger. Its a small thing, and I shouldnt get so upset over it, but my anger is directed at everything: being stranded in the middle of nowhere, not knowing if we will survive the journey home even my parents for dying on me. The tears brimming in my eyes start to cascade down my cheeks. All the frustration Ive been keeping pent up since the flood begins to burst out of me. Come here, sit down. Ryan pats a spot on the ground aside of him. I stand motionless. Please. He asks nicely, but I just cross my legs and plop myself on the ground where I am. Sighing, he walks over to where I am and sits with his legs straddled around me. Lean back and relax. Just let me know if I hit any snarls, Ryan directs me, as he places his hands on my shoulders and pulls me to him. Then he begins raking his fingers gingerly through my hair. Still in tantrum mode, I start to pull away, but he grabs my shoulders and starts massaging them. Shh, just relax for a bit, he murmurs into my ear. You put too much stress on yourself. Look whos talking, I retort. If you relax, Ill relax. He moves his hands from my shoulders, back to my head, and begins massaging my scalp. Then he continues to run his fingers through my hair to brush it. I close my eyes and give in. It just feels so

good. Thank you, I manage to whisper. Ryan just shushes me. I lose track of time as Ryan continues to alternate between massaging my head, shoulders and back, and brushing my hair. By the time he stops, I am nearly asleep. Hmmm, he mumbles to himself. Even though my back is towards him, I feel him stand, and I hear him rummaging through our packs. I remain sitting, and tilt my head back, enjoying basking in the morning sun, and the calm relaxed feeling he has given me. I hear him let out a long, slow breath of frustration, but I remain where I am. If he really needs help, hell ask. Aha! I hear him exclaim. Curiosity gets the better of me when I hear the rustling of some underbrush. I open my eyes and glance his way to see him with a Swiss army knife out, cutting at a branch. I shake my head and get back to relaxing. I must have dozed off while he was working on his project, because the next thing I know, he is gently nudging me awake. How long was I out? I ask as I rub the sleep from my eyes. Not long, but I figured you needed it. I feel him lift my hair off my shoulders. May I borrow your head again, my lady? I laugh at his horrible impression of an English accent, and lean my head towards him to give him better access. Besides, who am I to refuse a second head massage? But instead of combing or rubbing, I feel him twist my hair. I automatically turn to see what hes up to. No peeking! he chides, and gently presses his palm against my cheek and turns my head back around. I feel a bit more twisting, some gentle tugging, and finally something being slid into my hair. V oila, youre done, he announces, this time in a terrible French accent. He tugs me to my feet and turns me to face him. You look fabulous, he flamboyantly croons as he turns me around to model. I reach up and feel my hair. He has twisted it into a bun, and used two branches that hes whittled smooth to secure it like you would do with a pair of chopsticks. Touched, I feel my eyes becoming glossy, and I quickly blink the moisture away. Thank you, I whisper and smile, afraid anything more would make my voice crack. But its enough. His smile beams back at me. With my hair tamed and myself relaxed, we lazily enjoy a lunch of berries. We finish by filling our containers with all the berries they can hold. We have enough to last us for several days, even eating generous portions. I awake the next morning to hear something tapping on the igloo. I roll over and see that Ryan is awake too. He presses his fingers to his lips. We sit for a moment, wondering what is trying to get in.

Then I hear a familiar chirping and cooing. Caper? I ask warily. Im greeted by a symphony of his chirps and coos. Quickly I climb out of the sleeping bag, and I begin to unzip the igloo. But Ryan grabs my hand before I can finish. Are you sure its him and not another meerkit? We have our packs filled with berries right next to us. He continues to hold my wrist. Its him. What do you need him to prove it to you? I grab my hand back. Just be careful, he says wearily. I unzip the igloo just enough to let Caper in, but not a larger meerkit, and call to him. His familiar face bounds into the igloo. He greets us both, warmly purring and wrapping his body and tail around us as he circles us. We missed you too, Caper, I laugh. Im overjoyed to see his familiar face. Maybe this means were closer to home than we thought, Ryan says hopefully. Id like to think that, but its more likely that meerkits cover a larger area of territory than we guessed. I sigh. But if Caper decides to stay with us, we definitely have better odds of making it home. True, Ryan says as he rubs Capers head. Ryan may not admit it, but I think hes as happy to see Caper as I am. Over the next several days, Caper proves himself the best scout we could have asked for. The opal berries turn out to be Capers main food source. He knows where every patch of berries is located along the river. Sometimes Caper even leads us to lakes with side streams that dont branch out of the main river, but lead west toward other bodies of water. We quickly stop questioning his insistence at detours, and just follow as he leads us to both water sources and berries. It seems that wherever the berries grow in abundance, there is more white marble rock and a pool of water. I wonder if the berries are capable of growing in any other conditions. I use two of our smallest containers to collect both water and rock samples. You just cant suppress the scientist in you, can you? Ryan snickers, earning a glare from me. Are you faulting me for wanting to know more about the fruit thats keeping us alive? I raise my eyebrows. Then I walk over and stretch out on the warm marble beside him. Not at all; Im just enjoying watching you act like yourself, despite everything. His snickering has turned into a smirk. Everything considered, this has been a rather pleasant trek through the unknown wilderness. With regular baths and food, its starting to feel more like a vacation than being stranded in the middle of the woods, I muse.

I know what you mean. I cant regret the day you risked your life and met Caper. Ryan sighs and turns to watch Caper happily swinging from branches and vines. I hope youre not getting overprotective of me again, I chastise and roll over to face him. I always feel protective of you. Thats why I get so angry when you intentionally put yourself in harms way. I couldnt live with myself if I allowed something to happen to you. His eyes are suddenly distant and full of pain, as if hes reliving one of those moments, but imagining the worst actually happening. Hey, I say softly, placing my hand on his shoulder to bring him back to the present. I feel the same way about you, Ryan. Youve put yourself in harms way plenty of times, and I was sick with worry for you all of those times, too. I just didnt rip your head off for doing it. Ill try to control my temper if you try to stay out of trouble. He reaches over and grabs my hand in his. His bright green eyes are fraught with pain, concern. He reaches up and brushes a stray hair out of my face. My pulse quickens, and I realize Im holding my breath. Purr! I jump back, startled. Caper has jumped right into the middle of us. I think hes telling us that its time to go, I breathe. We quickly get dressed in our recently dried clothes, and gather our things in silence. Things suddenly feel strained between us. Neither one of us talks about it or even dares to bring up the topic, but we both realize we almost kissed. The entire mornings walk we just suffer through each others silence. In the afternoon, Ryan finally speaks up. Apparently, he wants to pretend that nothing at all happened, because he starts asking random questions again. So whats the first thing you want to do when you get back on base? Ryan asks. Thats an easy question. Hug and thank Andi. How about you? Well after I thank Andi, I guess Id want a long, hot shower. Dont get me wrong; I like the swimming, but nothing can compare to a boiling hot shower. How about you? What would you do after thanking Andi? I pause briefly, daydreaming about a hot, steamy shower, then respond. Hmm, that questions a little harder. Im going to say curl up with a good book in one of the librarys comfy chairs. After that, I would head down to the dance floor to watch all our friends dance. That sounds nice, but I wouldnt let you get away without dancing yourself. He grabs my hand and proceeds to twirl me around, but my ring catches on his hand and scratches him. Are you okay? I reach out and grab his hand to examine it.

Im fine, he snaps, snatching it back. Theres no blood. He continues to scowl, even though he doesnt look like hes in pain or anything. I let him fume for a bit as I get lost in my own thoughts. Neither of us had said the first thing we want to do is to see Kelly or Brody. In fact, they didnt come up at all. What does that say about us? Ive hardly thought about Brody since the flood. Im more confused now about my feelings for Brody than I was the night he proposed. After all, its not normal to have a panic attack when youre asked to marry a person, and I never did say yes to him. Am I so shallow that a few weeks away from him have erased all my feelings? I dont know what to think anymore. Several days pass before Caper greets us again. We had started to worry. Caper, on the other hand, acts as if nothing unusual has happened. He simply leads us to more berries and water, eats, and then plays in the trees. Im thankful to have a bath and be well fed again. During the last few days, Ryan and I havent had any luck finding a side river that could lead us to berries. After washing, I toss the soap to Ryan, and I stretch out on a rock facing the water. I watch Caper swinging from the trees, and I laugh at his playful enjoyment. Then my eyes are drawn to Ryan rubbing the soap on his chest. I still marvel at how a shirt can so easily hide such perfection. His torso looks as if it has been carved by an artist, and theres hardly any hair on his chest. Im wondering how pleasant it would feel to run my hands across that chest when I notice Ryan staring back at me. I blush and roll onto my back, trying to pretend I had been lost in thought. I close my eyes and focus on the feeling of the sun beating down, warming the rock and my skin. I pretend that is the reason for the sudden heat I feel. Are you enjoying the view this morning? I hear Ryan chuckle as he lies down next to me. I try to feign innocence. Huh? Theres no use trying to wiggle out of it. I caught you looking. He stares straight into my eyes, daring me to deny it again. Well youre no underwear model, but youre not too bad to look at, I admit, blushing at my own brazenness. Then I guess its only fair that I get to look back at you, he teases, then props himself up on one elbow and looks me up and down in an exaggerated fashion. Like you havent looked already. Ive caught you peeking before. Okay, so its true, but youre not so bad to look at either. As he continues to tease me, he grabs my hands and pulls me to my feet. Im acutely aware of his scantily clothed body so close to mine. He runs a finger down my arm and toward my hand. He stops abruptly when he gets to my ring. He turns, grabs a container, and starts picking berries. I have a sudden urge to fling the ring into the water, but a stab of guilt restrains me.

The rest of the day we walk in silence. Again, I am lost in my thoughts. What am I doing? I love Brody. Dont I? Its only been a few weeks since I saw him, but Im having a hard time remembering what I even like about him. I chastise myself for being so fickle and convince myself that Im only responding to the proximity being stranded has forced upon Ryan and I.

Chapter 21 The next day there is no sign of Caper, so we continue our walk without him. Its a hard day of walking; the sun is beating relentlessly down on us. Were clearly experiencing a heat wave. We break early for lunch when we find a well-shaded area. Ryan decides to continue with his random questions during lunch. So what do you think youd be doing this very moment if you had stayed on Earth? he muses. Not getting annoyed by someone asking stupid questions, I grumble as a bead of sweat drips down my neck. Oh come on, you can do better than that. He adds, If you still had your parents with you, what do you think youd be doing? After grumbling my displeasure, I give it some honest thought. Hmm. I would have dragged my feet and procrastinated applying to colleges, and, as a result, missed all the deadlines. So Id end up in community college for my first year or two, until I could figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. I pause, realizing my timeline is way off. But right now Id still be in high school, so Id be sitting in my English Literature class, rolling my eyes because the kid next to me is whining that a two-page essay on the book we just read is just too much work. Yeah, Id roll my eyes too. He chuckles. Good details. Sounds like you had your whole life planned out. The sarcasm in his tone is unmistakable. Now its your turn. And no copying my answer, I caution. No problem. I already know what Id be doing. Its summer break, so Id be working with my dad and oldest brother at the factory. Because there isnt any money for college, its also where Ill be after graduation. Id take one course at a time, when I had enough money saved up for it. Right now Id be in the lunchroom, trying to read a book, but my brother and his friends would keep disrupting me, taunting that books are for sissies. His voice suddenly sounds sad. You miss them. I place my hand on his shoulder, unsure how to comfort him. There is no right now for our families: we lost them long ago. I do. Despite our differences, they were still my family, he admits, looking around uncomfortably. We should get moving before were here all day. He shakes my hand off his shoulder and stands. Apparently the discussion is over. He keeps his back to me as he packs, but I notice the unmistakable sniffs that tell me he is crying. I gather my pack and silently walk after him, but after traveling just a short distance, I stop and look around. The most incredible smell vigorously assaults my senses. I cant describe it. Its like a

combination of all my favorite smells meshed into one wonderful symphony. I look around for the source and notice a beautiful flower, towering above the underbrush. It looks like a blue tiger lily. I hear Ryans annoyed huff in the distance, but pay it no heed. My senses are overwhelmed with the scent the flower is emitting. Without thinking, I walk towards it, my hand outstretched. Brett! Ryan yells. He hurtles forward, grabs me by the wrist and tries to pull me away. Just as my fingertips brush the flower, three black barbs shoot out, but they land in Ryans hand instead of mine. Damn it! he swears and storms away. I run after him. Ryan, slow down and let me look at your hand! He doesnt respond to my plea. What the hell were you thinking? Havent you learned anything since the first day I met you? I flinch at the hurt, accusing tone in his voice. Im sorry. Youre right; I wasnt thinking. I dont know what came over me. The flowers smell was just overpowering. Didnt you notice it? His shoulders relax a little. No. My nose is stuffed. I watch his shoulders hunch back up. But smell or no smell, theres no reason you approach any unknown plant or animal like that. I know. I really dont know what happened. My brain stopped working. I choke the words out as I fight back tears. Please, Ryan, I feel horrible. I should be the injured one, not you. Please stop, so I can look at it and get the barbs out. Please, I beg. Fine. He grumbles and sits down, crossing his legs. I quickly grab my first-aid kit and look for tweezers. I wish I had something for pain. The barbs will hurt more coming out than going in. I grab his hand and examine the three barbs. At least they hit the area between his thumb and pointer finger; theres less flesh there to dig into. When they were in the flower, they resembled ordinary stamen: but up close its easy to see the jagged hooks jutting out. Ryan wipes a tear from my cheek with his free hand. You look like youre the one in pain, he laughs dryly. I should be. I deserve to be. This is all my fault. My voice cracks. I wont argue with you on that point, but beating yourself up over it isnt going to help anyone. He says it with more sympathy than I deserve. Im so sorry, I apologize. Hey, dont worry about it. Its not even hurting right now. He smiles as if to prove his point. I shake my head. But it will. The only way I can see to get these out is to pull. So pull. I can handle it. He puffs out his chest, trying to make me laugh. Okay, but dont say I didnt warn you. He nods and closes his eyes, bracing himself in preparation. Using the tweezers, I get a firm grasp on the first barb. I used my free hands fingers to press down the skin around the barb; I hope to at least minimize any tearing. Then I pull. It comes out

with surprising ease. I repeat the steps with the remaining two, and they come out just as easily. I line up the three barbs beside each other and examine them. Theyre all the same size and look intact. Over my shoulder, Ryan comments, Strange response from a flower. He reaches around me and scoops the barbs into a sample jar. Defensive response? I question. That would be my initial guess, but if so, why didnt the barbs cause pain? Even when you pulled them out, it barely hurt. Im guessing seed dispersal, but it looks like this flower was unpollinated. Look, there arent any seeds on the end of the barbs. He holds up the jar so I can see. Im just glad it didnt hurt more. I feel bad enough already, I say as he rubs his fingers over the three red dots left in his hand. Enough of the apologizing; its getting really old. Just promise me the next time you smell something like that, youll hold your nose instead of trying to pick it. He lightly punches me in the arm and snickers at me. Promise. I smile back at him, and finish cleaning and bandaging his hand. He tries to argue the bandage is too much, but Im not chancing an infection. So he gives in to placate me. The next morning there still isnt any sign of Caper, but we have plenty of berries from the other day, so we dont worry. We pack up camp and get an early start to our day. We can already tell its going to be hot again. Its nearing lunch time when I first notice Ryans pace is slowing. I ask him if he wants to rest, but he insists hes fine. A little later, I notice him stagger. I force him to stop and at least drink some water. Let me see your hand. I want to examine it while were stopped. I reach out toward him, but he steps away. No, its fine. His tone is too defensive. Then you can have the enjoyment of telling me that you told me so. Now give me your hand. I grab his hand, but he yanks it back from my grasp. Im fine, he mutters. Ryan, youre burning up! I place my hands on his forehead, and then on his neck. His skin is on fire. Give me the hand now! I demand. He reluctantly places his hand in mine. I slowly unwrap the bandage, and then I gasp. The whole area where the barbs were is swollen and red. I carefully press my fingers around the area, and he winces. So what was your plan? To keep ignoring the pain until you passed out? I look at him sternly.

No; I was hoping wed find a side stream we could follow. Stopping here without any source of food or water wont do us any good, he insists. Thats a good point, but you should have told me. We should at least rest in the shade until you feel a bit better. I open my pack to get him some berries. No. He tone is flat and unyielding. Ryan, dont be unreasonable, I plead. Im not. I didnt say anything because having you worry about me wont do either of us any good. But now that you know, I should tell you that its getting worse. Wasting time resting will just allow it to progress more. We can stop and eat a quick lunch, but then we need to be on our way again. Ryan My voice trails off. I dont know what to say. If it gets to the point where I cant go on, youll have to leave me behind, he commands somberly. Dont talk like that! You know theres no way I could leave you behind. I feel my heart speed up and my mind race as I realize just how serious the situation is. You may have to, he warns. Im not discussing this. Were going to find a side river and rest there so you can fight this infection. I turn my back on him and grab the berries out of my pack. At least having lunch will force him to rest a little while. Im furious and frightened by his suggestion. I cant even think about it. We eat lunch in silence. I spend the whole time alternating between glaring at him and examining his face for signs of deterioration. When were ready to leave, he has trouble getting to his feet. I start to feel panicked. As we walk, I scan the woods for material to make a stretcher. Ive already decided. If he goes down, Ill drag him with me. I find a long branch that looks sturdy enough and I quickly strip the side branches off. When Ryan gives me a questioning look, I explain that its a walking stick. Surprisingly, he takes it and uses it. By the time I find the second branch, Ryans condition is too bad to even notice my actions. Hes having a hard time walking in a straight line, and he no longer picks his feet up all the way to take a step, so he keeps stumbling. I offer him a shoulder to lean on and am frightened when he easily accepts it. A little while later he asks if we can rest for a moment, then proceeds to pass out. I manage to catch him as he spins toward the ground, and guide him down carefully without causing any more injuries. I want to crumble with my panic, grief and worry, but I know I dont have time for that indulgence. I grab the sleeping bag and duct tape and quickly assemble a stretcher. I load him on, and

take a moment to re-examine his hand. Its now oozing a yellow substance from the dots the barbs made. The angry red skin is now a mix of red and purple blotches, and the skin feels hard. I quickly pick up the stretcher and begin dragging him. I need to get us to water and build a fire so I can sanitize a knife to drain his wound. Despite my best efforts, my pace with Ryan is painfully slow. I keep stopping the stretcher to give him some more water and check his hand. He wakes a few times and tries to argue that I should leave him, but I wont listen. Its dusk when I finally find a side stream. I get my flashlight out of my pack, duct tape it to my arm, and continue. Usually the walks along the side streams are short and quick, but tonight it seems to take an eternity. By the time I find the lake and the berry patch, the stars are shining brightly in the night sky. I quickly set up the igloo and get Ryan inside. The sleeping bag is still intact after disassembling the stretcher, so I place Ryan on top of the bag and take his shirt off. His fever feels dangerously high. I dip his shirt in the lakes cool water and place it over his chest, hoping it will help cool him while I start the fire. I look across the lake. The dancing shimmer of moonlight on the ripples caused by the waterfall gives me no joy. I feel truly lost. I had no real medical training, and no idea of how to help Ryan get better. Im suddenly resentful of the spur of the moment decision that started me on this journey. If I had just stopped and reconsidered leaving Earth, Ryan wouldnt be lying here now. He wouldnt be lost in the woods because I dragged him into an unsafe canyon, but safe and sound on the base. Full of despair, worry and guilt, I question myself: could I, would I, go on by myself? Could I find the willpower and energy to continue traveling? I have just finished gathering enough material for my fire when I hear a familiar chirping noise. Caper! Im so glad to see you. Ryans hurt and I dont know what to do for him, I babble pointlessly. Caper just chirps and purrs back at me. Im feeling so desperate that anyone to voice my concerns to is a relief. I sigh and turn my attention back to building a fire. I watch Caper go over to greet Ryan. His reaction confuses me. Initially he starts with his usual cuddling, but abruptly he stops and hisses. I snap my head around to look at them fully. Caper grabs Ryans hand and examines it, then lets out another hiss and runs from the camp, taking any remaining hope I have with him. Despair takes over. Caper not wanting to be near Ryan can only mean that Caper knows what Im unable to admit. Ryan is dying. I start the fire and grab my knife. Ill at least try everything I can. I hesitate before making the slice necessary to drain the wound. Ryan, this is going to hurt. I dont wait for the response I know I cant get. I slice an X across the wound. Blood and pus ooze

from it. Once the oozing stops, I clean it and apply fresh gauze. Then I busy myself trying to cool Ryan. I dont have a thermometer, but he feels too hot for it to be safe. I activate the cold packs from my backpack and place them on him. I continue to re-wet his shirt and wipe the cool water across his body. When my cold packs are warm, I activate the cold packs from his first-aid kit. I hold Ryans head in my lap and look down at him. Beads of sweat cover his face. I try to get him to drink some water, but it just dribbles out the side of his mouth. His skin has a yellow tinge to it, like a jaundiced newborn. I check the whites of his eyes: theyre also tinged yellow. I try to think back to the PBS documentaries I was once fond of watching. Are they signs of his liver or kidneys failing? It doesnt matter which. Out here in the woods, either diagnosis is a death sentence. I run back to the water and re-wet his shirt. As I wipe him down, I cry and beg for his forgiveness. Hes dying, and its entirely my fault. Its my fault we had to investigate the river, its my fault he got hit by the flower, and its my fault that Im too stupid to know what to do to help him. I wonder if it would be more humane for me to just help him on his way. Once I did, I could walk back to the cliff and help myself end it all. But do I have the strength to do that for him? I look back down at his face. For now he seems peaceful in his sleep. I decide to wait until he is in pain before I intervene. There is still a chance that he will pass peacefully in his sleep. He at least deserves a chance at a peaceful death. Sometime close to dawn I close my eyes to rest for a moment. It is early morning when I awake to Capers chirps. I can easily hear Ryans breathing; it has become labored. I hurry to dampen his shirt with fresh cool water while I curse myself for falling asleep. Im startled to see a fully grown meerkit with Caper. As I return with the wet shirt, it enters the igloo. I have to fight my instinct to drive it off. I trust Caper, and hed brought the meerkit here. I enter the igloo behind it and sit cross-legged on the opposite side of Ryan. The meerkit pays me no attention, and proceeds to examine Ryan. It sniffs him from head-to-toe. It places its hands on his chest and face, and then pulls back his eyelids. I resist the urge to slap its hand away from his face. Finally, the meerkit centers its attention on Ryans hand. It pokes and prods the hand and twists it in different directions. Then it lifts Ryans hand to its mouth. I realize what its preparing to do and cringe. Bile hits the back of my throat; I hear the sickening crunch of Ryans skin against the meerkits teeth. I hadnt expected that sound; the wound must have crusted over. Next the meerkit begins roughly squeezing the wound. Ryan cries out in pain but doesnt wake. I grab a hold of his other hand and began wiping his forehead with the cool shirt. I whisper lies to him, telling him the pain will be over soon and that everything is going to be alright. My heart aches to make the words true. I continue to watch the meerkit. He runs his thumbs from the outside of the wound towards the

center, slowly squeezing out all of its contents. Theres a little blood, and more pus but theres also another yellow substance that resembles feta cheese in texture. Its reluctant to exit the wound. Ryan continues to moan as the meerkit presses harder on his hand, trying to work out the substance. Finally, the bulk of the cheese exits the wound. The meerkit drops Ryans hand and begins to break apart the substance. In the center, three green sprouts are revealed. My hand flies to my mouth as I gasp in horror. Not only had I caused Ryan to get hit by the flowers spikes; I failed to remove them completely. The meerkit seems satisfied with what he finds. He prods Ryans wound again, gives a satisfied nod, and turns and leaves the igloo. Before I have a chance to follow, the meerkit returns. His cheeks are bulging. He spits water into Ryans wound to clean it. Recognizing what hes doing, I quickly grab some empty containers from my pack and run to the lake to fill them. I place the water next to the meerkit. He nods, grabs one of the containers, and slowly pours it over Ryans hand. Next he grabs the second container and dribbles water into Ryans mouth. I lift Ryans head to help. The meerkit looks at me and thrusts the container into my other hand. I take over trying to coax Ryan into drinking some more. The meerkit turns and leaves the igloo with the empty container he has already used. When he returns its overflowing with opal berries. He takes a handful in his hands and smashes them. He lets the juice dribble into the opening of Ryans wound. Next he smears the mashed berries all over the side of Ryans hand and carefully places the hand on Ryans stomach. He climbs over to Ryans head, swats me away, and grabs a berry in a pincer grip. He squeezes the berrys juice into Ryans mouth, then hands one to me. I do the same. He hands me another and waits for me to squeeze it. Once I do, he thrusts the container of berries into my hands. Then he turns and leaves the igloo for good, leaving Ryan, Caper and I behind. I feel bleakly hopeful. The meerkit seemed to know what he was doing, but everything had been so unsanitary. I fear that what the meerkit did may cause Ryan more harm than good. But at this point, Ryan is most likely going to die either way; so relying on the meerkits knowledge is my only hope. Throughout the day, I continue to wipe Ryan down with cool water and feed him the juice of the berries and water. He stays unconscious the whole time, but occasionally mumbles words that are mostly unintelligible. The few things I am able to understand are names. He repeatedly says, Sorry, Kelly, and occasionally shouts No. Brett, no! The latter makes me cringe: he must be reliving the stupid actions that caused all of this. Caper keeps me company throughout the day and into the night. He brings more berries whenever the container runs low, saving me from leaving Ryans side. The rest of the time he strokes my hand or Ryans hair and coos and purrs at us. I assume the sounds are meant to comfort, and I hope they work for Ryan. I am so distraught with worry and guilt that there is no comforting me.

Its late in the night, maybe midnight, by the time I first notice a change in Ryan: his skin is cooling off. His fever has broken. I look closely at his skin. Its hard to tell in the dim light, but I think the yellow tinge is disappearing. Im wild with delight over these first real signs of hope. I start to pray to whatever powers that will listen that the fever and infection havent done too much damage, and that he will be normal when if he regains consciousness. Throughout the remainder of the night, Ryans mumblings become more coherent. Im able to conclude that hes apologizing to Kelly for hurting her, and asking me not to leave. The No, Brett, no! has become No, Brett, no! Dont leave! I feel relieved over his improvement and knowing that he isnt tortured with reliving the flower attack over and over. I wonder why he thinks Im leaving. Is he imagining Im leaving him behind because he can no longer continue? I try my best to reassure him, that Im right by his side and not going anywhere. Its barely dawn when Ryan actually opens his eyes and speaks. Brett His voice is weak and scratchy. Dont talk; just rest, I plead. Tears run freely down my cheeks as a smile spreads across my face. He squints his eyes at me as he attempts to focus his view. You look like hell, he notes as he stares at me. You should see yourself, I chuckle as I grab some water and lift his head to allow him to drink. After a moment, he pushes the bowl away. What happened? he asks weakly. The last thing I remember was getting really dizzy. Ill tell you later when youre rested and have more strength, I advise as I lower his head. I will if you do. You really do look like hell. When is the last time you slept? The concern in his voice gives me a pang of guilt. Its been a while, I admit. Finally, paying some attention to myself, I realize my stomach is nauseous with hunger, and my head is throbbing. It reminds me of the feeling Id had when my parents woke me early in the morning to leave on a ski trip. Theyd wake me at 4 am and load me into the car with my pillows. Id sleep the whole drive up. But those few minutes before falling back asleep, I always felt like this. I know I need to rest. Here, theres enough room on here for two. He slides sideways on the open sleeping bag and pats beside him. Im not going to be able to sleep unless I know you are comfortable and sleeping yourself, he warns, noticing my reluctance. Hes weak enough, and I dont want him to waste any more energy. So I join him, grumbling, Fine. I climb onto the edge and lay down. What, are you worried that Im suddenly going to start biting? he teases, and I take it as a sign

that he truly is going to be okay. I sigh and inch a little closer. I use my arm as a pillow, and I quickly fall asleep. When I wake, my head is on Ryans chest, and his arm is wrapped around my shoulders. He chuckles when he notices Im awake. It was such a short time ago I thought I would never hear that sound again. Softly he says, I was beginning to think youd sleep the whole day. Sorry. I push myself off him and sit up. Dont be. You needed it. I have missed hearing his warm, gentle voice. Let me get you some water. I start to stand up, but Ryan grabs my hand. Ive already had plenty to eat and drink while you were asleep, he assures me. Why didnt you wake me so I could help you? My voice is hurt and filled with agony. Dont make me keep repeating myself. You needed the sleep, and I didnt need the help. Caper gathered most of the berries for me while I got myself some water and washed my hand. He pauses, looking at the wound. Im amazed at how much better it looks. Theres hardly any redness around the original three holes, my X-mark or the bite. Even more surprising is that the wound looks like its well on its way to healing. I run my fingers over his hand. I cant believe My emotions cripple me. Unable to talk, I stare down at the ground. I have to admit Im a little more than curious about the bite mark. Do you care to tell me now what Ive missed? He hands me a container of berries and motions for me to start talking. I quickly recount the events of the last few days. When Im done, Ryan is staring at me intently enough to make me squirm. Youre amazing. He grabs my hand and squeezes it. I owe my life to you. No! I yell, surprising myself. Im a silly little girl who cant control her own impulses. I almost got you killed, and if it wasnt for Caper, youd be dead right now. You dont owe me anything, I snort and pull my hand back. Ryan glares back at me angrily. You can stop berating yourself; you did enough of that while you slept. His tone is suddenly stern. I dont talk in my sleep. Usually no, but apparently, when youre guilt-ridden and exhausted enough, you do. Frankly Ive had my fill of Im sorry and Its all my fault, and I really dont want to hear any more of it. He looks at me, daring me to contradict him. If I had been smart enough not to go near that flower Enough, he interjects forcefully. From what you found in my hand from the flower, I suspect the scent did more than just attract you. Im guessing the flowers scent is meant to pull in its prey. Its

an ingenious way of reproducing, if you think about it. It uses the infected host to transport its seed to a new location, and then uses its corpse for instant fertilizer. Even if the new home for the seeds isnt ideal, the nutrients provided by the host will last for quite some time. You were able to resist it, I meekly argue. Thats only because of my stuffy nose. I couldnt smell anything. He points to his nose, emphasizing the fact. I should have gotten the seeds out when I pulled out the spikes, I insist. Hey, Im the botanist, remember? I didnt think the spikes were meant for injecting seeds. You cant fault yourself for making the same mistake I did. Besides, the flowers spikes are designed so the host doesnt realize theres anything in them until its too late. It almost was too late. I thought you were going to die. If it had been left to me, you probably would have. Caper and his friend are the ones you should be thanking, not me, I blabber, unwilling to forgive myself. You really cant see how amazing you are. He shakes his head at me in disbelief. How many people would have even given the meerkit the chance to heal me? Most people would have instantly chased the animal away, but not you. Most people have the common sense not to let a wild animal bite their friend. I still wont accept his thanks, regardless of what he thinks. Okay, so tell me why you did? He notices my confused looked and clarifies. Why did you let a meerkit you didnt know come near enough to bite me? Then, after it bit me, why did you allow it to continue with what it was doing? he asks. He sounds as though he already knows the answer. I trust Caper. He wouldnt have brought the other meerkit here to hurt you. So I had to trust him, too, and let him do what Caper brought him here for. My tone is getting defensive. Thats exactly my point. Do you realize how rare your response is? Just like when you defended Caper after he bit you. Your instinct told you what was right, and you followed it. Not to mention the strength it must have taken for you to drag my sorry ass to this spot in the first place. He pauses to see if I am going to argue. When I open my mouth, he cuts me off. You may want to feel guilty because a flower did the job nature designed it to do, but Im not going to allow it. You, Caper and the other meerkit are the reason Im alive. Im thankful for it, and trying to say anything contrary is just an insult to me. Got it? I yield. Got it. Can I add one thing? What? he asks warily. Im glad you didnt die. I wrap my hands around his neck and kiss his cheek. He hugs me back, and then we both just

start to laugh with relief.

Chapter 22 To make sure Ryan is fully recovered, we decide to spend a few days at the lake. The large meerkit returns in the afternoon to observe how Ryan is doing. Ryan thanks him, not knowing if he understands the words or not. The meerkit just continues to examine Ryan. When he is satisfied with what he sees, he leaves. Caper stays with us the whole time. He seems to understand how just close we came to losing Ryan and, like me, he wants to make sure he really is alright. Caper keeps shadowing Ryans every move, but at least Ryan finds it amusing. On the second day, I wake up to find the other side of the sleeping bag is cold. My hand automatically reaches out, seeking Ryan, but finds only the cold, hard metal of the floor. I open my eyes and see that the igloo is empty and open. I prop myself up on one elbow and listen. I hear Ryan whistling to himself in the distance, as tone deaf as ever, and I think its the best sound Ive ever heard. By lunch I have mostly recovered from my guilt, and Im able to start enjoying our stay at the lake. The heat wave has ended, and the air is beginning to feel crisp. We can tell fall is on its way, but the water is still warm enough for swimming. We divide our time between swimming, lying in the sun and eating all the berries our stomachs can hold. Lying out in the sun, I have a lot of time to think. Almost losing Ryan has made me face how much he truly means to me. I wouldnt have been able to continue if I had lost him. Ive been deluding myself this entire journey. Id brushed off the moments of attraction between us as merely brought on by the situation were in. But now I know its been something more. Ryan has become a part of me, a part I cant live without. A part I also know isnt mine. He belongs to Kelly. And I belong to Brody at least, as far as everyone else is concerned. The rock on my finger is enough reminder of that. I find myself pondering the difference between lust and love. Lust is a chemical, purely physical reaction. There is no question that it can be powerful mind numbingly powerful. It can also be distracting, leading down paths one normally wouldnt take. As Andi had once suggested, I try to imagine myself growing old with Brody. I try to imagine us together when our looks are long faded, and our sex drive has ebbed. Would there be anything left between us? I see my older self sigh, without much to say. Then I see the image in my mind change; Im still elderly, but Ryan sits beside me. Hes old and gray, hardly able to move with age, but he turns to me and smiles with a mischievous look in his eye and teases me, making me blush. What Brody and I have between us was nothing more than lust. I know I care for Brody; I even usually enjoy his company, and I certainly enjoy the physical contact, but there was never anything

deeper than that between us. I have my answer. I have the reason Id panicked instead of saying yes to Brodys proposal. Even back then, deep down, I knew I didnt love Brody. It was never more than an infatuation; just lust. Thats the reason he so easily slipped from my mind the moment I was away from him. That and Kelly are the reasons I feel so guilt-ridden over my feelings for Ryan. I have unintentionally led Brody on. I allowed him to think that what we had was more than it actually was. And now, when we finally return home, Ill have to break his heart. It doesnt matter what my feelings for Ryan are. I know I dont love Brody, and I need to tell him. I stare down at the ring on my finger, and Im furious with myself and my callousness. I feel like such a fool. How can I not have realized it sooner? How could I let it get to the point where Im wearing this stupid ring on my finger? I mean, seriously, any normal person would have clued in the moment they had the panic attack. My internal tirade comes to a sudden halt. Andi knew. She had known from the very first night when she encouraged me to keep my options open with Ryan. The very same way I knew from the very beginning that Jackson was all wrong for her. She had questioned me on it many times since then, but never gone directly to the point. She never let it seem like she was prying. But then why, why did she help Brody with the proposal? It didnt make sense. Unless She did seem curious, but not overly concerned when I pretended not to have the ring. Was Andi trying to force our relationship to a head? Trying to get me to realize how wrong Brody was for me before I made a mistake and did something that I would later regret? That would be like Andi, to sit back and let me come to my own realization. I feel a tear roll down my cheek. I miss Andi. I need her guidance now more than ever. I slip Brodys ring off my finger and place in my pack. I feel dishonest sleeping next to Ryan now. Hes unaware that my feelings have changed and that I have more than innocent, platonic feelings lying next to him. I try my best to push them out of my mind, but fail miserably. I try to distract myself by figuring out complex math problems in my head, but then he tightens his arm around me, and my thoughts are brought right back to him. If only the arm around me could mean what I want it to. I know I have no right to feel it, but his arm makes me feel cared for and loved, even though I know the feelings are imagined. Ryan and I are both reluctant to leave after the third day. We have both enjoyed the break, and dread going back to the endless walking. But its the only way well ever see our home again. So, we grudgingly drag ourselves away from our little oasis and continue our journey.

Over the next few days our journey effortlessly returns to normal. We have fallen back into our pleasant routine. Most mornings Caper wakes us up with his chirping. We pack up the sleeping bag and igloo, and follow Caper to fresh food and water. Once we have eaten and washed, Caper disappears into the woods for the day, and Ryan and I continue our hike back to the base. Throughout the day, Ryan and I continue to discuss random topics, from our earliest childhood memories to our views on politics. Then we set up camp at the end of the day. The next morning, the cycle begins anew. However, at night, when I am falling asleep, I cant help but think about the intimate moments Ryan and I have shared: Ryan brushing my hair with his fingers, the almost kiss that Caper interrupted, the morning by the lake when he caught me watching him. Were they just moments of weakness brought on by our isolation, or does he also have romantic feelings for me? I love Ryan, but can he actually return that love? Do I want to risk our friendship to find out? No. Losing his friendship is not an option; it would be too painful, especially after everything weve been through. I decide to push any romantic feelings I have aside. They wont do either of us any good. Before we know it, a month had passed us by. We hope the base is only a week or two away from us, but we have no way to be sure. Now that the cold weather of autumn is fast approaching, were anxious to reach home before temperatures drop too low. Neither of us have any clothing for cold weather, not to mention were running low on iodine tabs and will be forced to boil our drinking water soon. We catch ourselves looking for familiar landmarks, even though we know it is too soon to find any. I also discover that part of me is sad about the idea of reaching home. With Ryan healthy and Caper with us, our journey has become so pleasant that I dont want it to end. I dont want to return to the annoyances of everyday life, having to follow someone elses schedule or rules. I dont want to face Brody and admit my true feelings to him. Most of all, I dont want to see Ryan wrapped in Kellys arms. As we walk towards home, I continue to torment myself over my feelings for Ryan and my relationship with Brody. I have never considered myself a fickle person, but now that I vacillated between Brody and Ryan, Im questioning myself. I feel so strongly about Ryan right now, but didnt I feel that way for Brody once? I try to remember what it was that drew me to Brody. I cant remember anything except the inexplicable physical attraction between each us. He isnt the type of person Im usually attracted to, but from the moment I laid eyes on him, I was his. The way I felt around him could not easily be described: it was unnatural. Like my reaction to the blue tiger lily, I was drawn to

Brody beyond reason. The thought hits me so hard that I physically come to a stop. Ryan, do you think about Kelly when youre not with her? I blurt, quickly resuming my walk before he notices. Huh? Hes apparently lost in thought too. Now that his eyes are on me, I hesitate. Swallowing my embarrassment, I ask, Does Kelly have an effect on you when youre not physically around her? Sure I think about her, but it not the same as when Im near her. Why? Theres a moment of awkward silence. What are you getting at, anyway? I consider sharing my thoughts with Ryan but decide to lie instead. He doesnt need to worry that Im going crazy with conspiracy theories. Oh, nothing; just a stray thought. I think the sun is getting to me. Do you mind resting for a bit? We sit down in the shade for a while, but neither of us says anything. Ryan periodically gives me a curious glance. I feel guilty for lying to him, for not telling him what my thoughts are. The truth is, Im not sure myself. Thats why I have to think right now. There have been an extraordinarily large number of couples struck by love at first sight, and way too many of them rush into marriage. The more I think about it, I cant think of anyone I know that doesnt have a boyfriend or girlfriend. If a pod can be used to educate a person while they sleep, whats to prevent it from programming a person to respond to a persons pheromones, their voice and the very sight of them? With all the testing that was performed on us before we left, genetically compatible matches could have been easily determined for each of us. We would be predisposed to have an attraction to them, so it would be easy to amplify that attraction. I remember what high school was like; all the drama from whos dating who. We have none of that here. Everyone has someone, so everyone is relatively happy and content. Several couples have already gotten married and are now starting families. The sooner we start on the next generation, the better it is for our survival. Plus, I dont know a single couple that actually works together. Everyone is able to concentrate on work without getting distracted by romance. For a group of hormone laden, emotional teenagers, things have gone extraordinarily smoothly these past few months. If Im right, should I do anything about it? If suddenly whats making everyone attracted to each other is turned off, what would the effect be? It could cause chaos that could rip the base apart. I need to see Andi. Shell listen to everything I have to say without telling me that Im off my rocker. Shell help me figure out what is the right thing to do. The sooner we get back to base, the better. I cant do anything from the middle of the woods, anyway. And perhaps the heat is getting to me; maybe I am losing it. Once Im back at home, I can look at everything more clearly.

Im feeling better. Lets head out. I stand up and put my pack back on. Are you sure? Its not like you to ask for a break. Id rather wait a while and make sure youre ok. Despite his concern, he has already given in and is putting his pack on too. I feel fine. Do you want me not to tell you the next time I need a break? I threaten. No; just make sure youve rested long enough. He smiles back at me. I hope this means he has forgotten the awkwardness from earlier. I smile back at him and start walking. Lets go then.

Chapter 23 As we get closer to home, Caper starts spending more time away from us. Hes grown larger over the last few months, and I suspect he is now in his teenage years. Maybe escorting us through the woods has become a chore he doesnt feel like doing, especially if hes started noticing female meerkits. Today is one of those days where Caper has decided not to appear. We have found a ledge that runs all the way down the canyon wall to the river. Ryan goes down to the river to fill up the canteens while I pack up camp. I have just finished packing, when I hear a rustle of leaves in the tree above me. I turn, expecting to greet Caper, but its not him. I see a large black animal crouched in the branches above, ready to pounce on me. I scream and quickly jump to the side. It misses me, but it quickly turns around and has me in its sights again. Its the pan-wolf we had tagged, and by the looks of it, he has put on the hundred pounds I predicted, plus a little more. I have nowhere to go. If I run, he will easily take me down. I slowly walk backwards, considering my options I have none. I swallow hard and try not to panic. I hope it will be over quickly, without too much pain. The animal prepares to lunge. Now I cant resist the panic building in me. I turn and start to flee. I hear a loud thud behind me. I look up and see Ryan running towards me, his arms full of rocks. I dont look back to see if the first rock has hit its mark. A surge of relief floods through me as I race toward him. I watch him throw several more rocks as I approach. I expect him to turn and run away with me, but he moves past me, now screaming and yelling at the creature. Panic returns as I realize hes charging the animal. I turn around to see the animal disappear into the woods. Dumbfounded by what happened, I watch as Ryan grabs my pack and runs back to me. Are you hurt? he pants and grabs my arm when he sees Im still not moving. I manage to shake my head. Leading me by my arm, he says, Lets cross the river. Well travel on the other side in case it decides to come back. Hopefully well find a bank we can climb back up. I nod. We quickly run down to the river and grab Ryans bag and the canteens. We cross the river and climb up the other side as soon as we find a somewhat climbable area. Our hands and knees get scrapped and bruised. Under any other circumstances, we wouldnt have risked the climb and the very real chance of falling. But the pan-wolf is a greater threat, so we scramble up the steep canyon wall, ignoring our fear and pain. We know we should be safe once we make it to the top, but we

continue wordlessly as fast as possible until we cant walk anymore. Exhausted, I sink down onto a rock. The reality of what happened sets in, and I start to shake. Ryan walks over, encircles me in his arms, and lets me silently cry. I bury my face in his shoulder as he strokes my hair. Its okay, youre safe now, he breathes into my ear. I thought I was going to die, then I saw you running towards it, and I thought you were going to die instead. Shh. Were both okay, he reassures in a hushed tone. Remembering the attack, I ask, How did you get there so fast? The tracking device. I activated my watch to check the date on its calendar and the alarm started going off. I didnt know which direction it was in, so I grabbed an armful of rocks and ran to find you. We dont say anything else for a while. I just sit wrapped in his arms, leaning my head against his shoulder. Finally, I stand up, wipe the tears from my eyes, and start to walk again. We continue to walk for the rest of the day. We dont even stop to eat. Instead we eat from our supply of jerky as we walk. Neither of us says anything, but we both understand that we need to place as much distance as possible between us and the pan-wolf. Ryans watch is no longer beeping, but we dont want to give it a chance to beep again. By the time we make camp at nightfall, we are both utterly exhausted and fall right to sleep. Caper greets us the next morning, and I have to resist my urge to act mad towards him. Hes the reason weve survived as long as we have, but part of me unfairly blames his absence for the panwolf attack. In the end though, Capers presence helps me feel safe. He stays with us on the new side of the river, and leads us to more opal berries. As usual, the rock of the small lake is like reflective white marble, and the berries abundantly surround the water. Ryan and I bathe and eat in silence. Then I stretch out on the warm rock to dry. I consider staying where I am for the day, but I know we have to go. Begrudgingly, I get dressed and get ready to leave. I start to walk but feel Ryans hand on my shoulder. I turn toward him, and Im surprised to see tears brimming in his eyes. I thought you were going to die yesterday too. He grabs me by the waist and pulls me against him. I felt his soft lips on my forehead. With his free hand, he tilts my chin up and stares into my eyes, into my soul. I cant look away from his vibrant green eyes. They hold so much pain, anguish, and love all at the same time. He bends down and tenderly brushes his lips across mine. He pauses, and when I dont resist, his lips find mine again,

and he kisses me. I eagerly kiss back. His kisses are long, sweet and gentle, but behind them is a fierceness. I feel his intensity as all of the anticipation, longing and desire that has been building between us is released. I wrap my arms around him and pull him closer to me, finally free to show him how much I yearn for him. But all too soon, he pulls away from me. Sorry, he apologizes and turns away from me. For what? Im hurt and confused. Why is he apologizing for kissing me? Is it because he still wants to be with Kelly and Im just a substitute? For everything. He drops his head into his hands. For not bothering to ask you how you feel. For waiting until you almost died to let you know how I feel. He shakes his head, angry with himself. Relief washes through me. I grab him by the shoulder and turn him back around. Let me show you how I feel then. I pull him back to me and kiss him then, opening myself, trying to let him feel all the emotion pulsing through me. His mouth wanders from mine. His hand wanders through my hair, and he pulls me even closer. He traces my face with his lips, stopping to kiss me on the ear then down on my neck. I run a hand through his hair and with the other I trace the muscles on his arms and back. For once my body and mind are in synch; Im aware of all my senses instead of overwhelmed by them. I glide a hand over his chest, feeling the heat of his body through his shirt. I reach up and rest my hand on his neck, pull him down towards me. Breathing in the scent of his skin, I slowly kiss his neck, his ear, his chin; his soft beard that has grown tickles my cheek. I find my way back to his warm, soft lips. I can taste the sweet berries lingering on his tongue. I gasp dizzily; Ive forgotten to breathe. Ryan pulls me against him, but we both lose our balance and tumble to the ground. After untangling ourselves, I rest my head on his chest, and we both laugh. I guess I should apologize too, I say, stroking his arm. How about we call it even? he offers. He runs his fingers along my spine: a tingle of electricity courses through me Okay, even, I sigh, and cuddle further into his arms. We stay wrapped in each others arms, just staring into each others eyes. Neither one of us is willing to leave this moment by the lake. So when did you first know? Ryan asks as his hand twirls a strand of my hair. He clarifies: How you felt. I guess Ive known for a while. I just didnt want to admit it to myself. It took you almost dying from that damn flower before I couldnt deny it anymore. But I had no idea how you felt. So I kept it to myself, I admit.

To my surprise, Ryan starts laughing. Well arent we just two peas in a pod? I sit up and look at him, wrinkling my forehead in confusion. When you woke up and explained to me how you, Caper and the other meerkit saved me, I almost kissed you right then and there. I only stopped because I knew you didnt feel the same way. I realized you would have done the same thing if it were Molly or Jake lying in the igloo. Well in a way I guess we need to thank the pan-wolf. I reach over and lazily stroke his hand with my fingers. I wont hunt it down and kill it as long as it keeps away from the base. Hows that for a thank you? He chuckles. Its a warm, deep, intoxicating chuckle. Fair enough, I confirm. We wrap ourselves in each others arms and close our eyes, enjoying the feeling of the sun beating down on us. Eventually necessity forces us to continue our long walk. Ryan leans over and presses his cheek to mine. We need to leave, he whispers in my ear. I know, I sigh, and allow Ryan to pull me to my feet. We dont walk as we did before. Now we alternate between walking hand-in-hand and wrapped in each others arms. It feels natural, as if we have skipped over the initial awkwardness that new couples usually go through. I cant believe I fought against this for so long.

Chapter 24 Making camp that night, we have to reconsider our sleeping arrangement. It now has a new meaning for us. We both need to stay warm, I point out. I dont want to make you uncomfortable, he insists. I smile. Im very comfortable in your arms. You know what I mean, he scolds. Look, were just going to sleep next to each other like weve been doing all these weeks. I slide into the sleeping bag and pat the spot beside me. Its not the same now. Ryan crosses his arms; he isnt planning on leaving his side of the igloo. If it makes you feel better we can give each other some ground rules. Our hands remain above the waist, and the sleeping bag is just for sleeping. Can I at least kiss you goodnight before we fall asleep? He smiles his crooked grin at me. Dont push your luck. I laugh, but I know if he starts kissing me, I wont want to stop. So, seeing were already on the topic, were taking things slow, right? He slides into the sleeping bag next to me. I think thats best, until we get home, at least. I close my eyes and breathe him in. It feels so good to finally have his arms around me, and to know its for more than warmth or keeping nightmares at bay. Me too. Sweet dreams, he whispers. You too, I murmur back. Im asleep before I realize it, and I start to dream. In my dream, Ryan is walking across the base towards me. He smiles at me, and I smile back. It feels so good to be back at home with him. As he comes close I raise my arms to hug him, but he brushes right by, knocking my hand out of his way. I turn bewildered and see Kelly standing behind me. Ryan wraps his arms around her and gives her a long kiss. Ive missed your touch, Kelly; theres nothing like it, he coos in her ear. Ive missed yours too, baby, Kelly replies. She pulls him back to her and starts kissing him again, chirping and purring. Hey, wake up, sleepy. I feel a kiss on my neck. Youre breaking the rules already. The sleeping bag is for sleeping, I grumble. Im not in the sleeping bag, so technically Im not breaking any rules. He tussles my hair and laughs at me. Besides, if you dont get up Capers going to have a fit. Hes not used to having you

sleep so soundly. I certainly dont feel like I slept soundly. Okay, Im up. I stretch. Ryan reaches to kiss me, and I push him back. Morning breath, I warn. He laughs and settles for my forehead. As we eat breakfast, I find myself staring at Ryan. His hair had grown pretty shaggy over the last month. I like the look on him. I muse about what it will feel like to kiss him without the soft tickle of his beard and to feel his bare, warm cheek against mine. What? he finally demands I havent stopped staring. Can you do me a favor when we get back home? I ask in a coy tone. Depends on what is, he cautions me. Keep the hair and lose the beard. Does the beard bother you when we His voice trails off, and his face drops in disappointment. No. No, its nothing like that. Im just curious what it will feel like to kiss you without it. You can always grow another beard later if you want. I reach over with my fingers and play with his facial hair. Sure, he replies shrugging his shoulders, but I see the relief in his expression. We begin to pack up camp. My finger brushes against something hard in my pack, I look and see that its Brodys ring. Were both anxious to get home, but Im dreading telling Brody. Wait. Ryan grabs me around the waist and pulls me to him. I still havent had my morning kiss. He leans down and gently kisses me. I feel a warm rush of emotion flood my body and begin kissing him back. Too soon he pulls away. If we dont stop now, Im liable to spend the whole day with you here. Reluctantly, we both grab our packs and head out. Its quiet most of the morning as we walk. I cant shake last nights dream and what it means. If Im right about the pods, as soon as we start sleeping in them again we will have renewed feelings for Kelly and Brody, and thats the last thing I want. Its so remarkably different kissing Ryan than it is Brody. With Brody, my body overrides my mind and takes control. With Ryan, all my senses are sharpened, combined together in the moment. Brodys kisses leave me wanting more, yearning for something unnamed. Ryans kisses leave me satisfied, complete, whole. It only reinforces my theory on the pods. I need to figure out how to avoid the pods from changing our feelings. Well be placed in quarantine when we get back, so I wont have a chance to get Andis advice.

I try to remember what I can about the pods. A laugh escapes me the solution is so simple. Something amusing? Ryan looks over at me and brushes my cheek. Just a random thought, I answer. He quirks an eyebrow at me. Care to share? Not really. I reach over, pull Ryan to me, and kiss him. Its not fair, but it distracts him for me. Besides, I feel like celebrating. All I have to do is convince him to sleep upside down in his pod, and well be all set. You should have random thoughts more often, he chuckles, and we continue walking. In the beginning of the week, the terrain starts to look familiar. By the end the week, were seeing familiar landmarks from our maps and we know were almost home. Begrudgingly I tackle the elephant weve been avoiding. Have you decided what you are going to do about Kelly? I ask. Letting out a long, frustrated sigh, Ryan says, Im going to have to tell her. Yeah, I know. But have you thought about just how are you going to? Do you know what youre going to tell her? First she thinks youre dead, then she finds out youre alive, then you break up with her. Shes going to be an emotional wreck. Shrugging his shoulders, he says, I can always hope shes moved on to someone else. He looks down at the ground, kicking aside pebbles as he walks. I know this isnt a comfortable topic, but we both need to figure out what were going to do. I sigh. Being the other woman isnt something Im comfortable with. Its not a role Id ever thought Id have in my life. Have you any ideas? No. Not really. I cant think of any way to spare their feelings entirely; all I can think of is how to soften the blow. But? Ryan prompts, guessing correctly that I have more to add. The only kind thing I can think of is giving them some time to get over the shock of seeing us alive again. Its my turn to look at the ground and kick the pebbles. So what youre saying is we keep our relationship a secret when we get back. Ryan pulls his hand out of mine. Ryan, please dont be like this. Im not asking you to keep it a secret forever. If there was no one else involved, Id shout my love for you from the rooftops. I swallow my breath as I realized what has just slipped from my mouth. Ryan stops in his tracks. You love me? My face flushes red, and I start to panic. I hadnt meant to say love. I dont want to freak him

out. Saying the L word too soon could ruin any relationship. Well, um dont freak out. Thats a bit strong of a word. What I really should have said was I stop in mid-tongue-tied-sentence as Ryan pulls me to him and kisses me hard. I grab onto him for balance and kiss him back. I truly feel weak in the knees and I know that no one has programmed me to. I love you too, he whispers in my ear, and then proceeds to kiss my neck. Really? I breathe. Really. He grabs my face in his hands and stares at me. I smile back, overwhelmed by emotions. We spend the next hour walking wrapped in each others arms. Periodically Ryan leans down and kisses my neck or forehead. Im elated. He loves me too. So for how long do you want to keep us a secret? Ryan asks, busting my blissful trance. I dont really want to keep it a secret at all, I sigh. Well have to keep it quiet through quarantine, and then maybe give them a week to let them down easily. So are you planning on kissing Brody for that week while youre together? Ryans voice sounds angry, and Im surprised by tone of jealousy I detect. No! I wasnt planning on having you kiss Kelly either, I snap back, hurt by his accusation. Then what do you plan on doing for the week after quarantine? Ryan growls at me. If youd calm down and let me explain I cross my arms and wait to see if hes going to interject again. Then I continue, Im planning on telling Brody as soon as possible about my change of feelings. I thought it would be kind to give him a week to get used to the idea before we showed ourselves in public together. I glare at him and cross my arms. Im sorry. I never liked seeing you with Brody. The thought of you kissing him again His voice gets thick and trails off. What do you mean you never liked seeing me with Brody? I liked you back then too. That night you invited me to the greenhouse, I wanted to kiss you, but you didnt give me the chance. The only reason I never tried again was because I met Kelly. But I still had feelings for you, and every time I saw his hands on you, Id get angry. I convinced myself that it was just because Brody was all wrong for you. I notice Ryans entire body had tensed up just from the memories. I grab his hands and give them a squeeze. I felt the same way every time I saw you with Kelly. I told myself that I had no right to. I had picked Brody, but it didnt stop the jealousy I fought. What do you mean you picked Brody? Now hes staring at me, his face hurt and confused. I groan. Why does my mouth like to betray me? I knew you wanted to kiss me that night. I had

just had my first date with Brody, and couldnt kiss you too, despite the fact that I wanted to. I was still wrestling with my feelings the next day, but then I saw you with Kelly as I left the library. So I kind of picked Brody for you, he say glumly. In a way, yeah you did. I resented you for a bit after that day with Kelly, I admit as I cuddle myself against his chest. You must have thought I was a shallow jerk, just going for the first pretty girl that would have me. Are you saying Im pretty? I tease. Surprised by my question, he blurts out, Have you ever looked in a mirror? Youre beautiful. I blush. Not like Kelly is. She enters the room and everyone notices, I argue. Wow, I didnt think Id get to see your jealous side so soon. He feigns shock. Kellys a flashy pretty and a lot of it is make-up. You, on the other hand, are a natural beauty. You dont need an ounce of makeup for your beauty to shine through. But when you do dress up, no one can take their eyes off of you. Didnt you notice at the Fourth of July dance we went to? There was barely a guy in the room that could help staring at you. He leans down and kisses my forehead. Not that Im saying your assessment of the dance is right, but is that the only reason youre with me? I tease. Youre also smart and strong, and you dont take crap from anyone. I think its kind of hot having a girlfriend that could verbally and probably physically kick my butt if she really wanted to. What I dont understand is why you want me. He chuckles. Well I certainly like your looks, especially after seeing you swim, I tease. But mostly its because youre complex. Youre smart and strong, but youre also gentle and caring. Even when you lose your temper, its usually out of concern for someone else. Im working on the temper. He touches his hand to my cheek and lets it rest there. With his thumb he traces my jaw line. Speaking of the past and your temper, why did you have such a problem with me when I first became team lead? Was it because Im a girl? I demand. I watch him stiffen and scowl at my accusation. Is that what you thought? He shakes his head at me. Im not sexist. Its hard to explain. I felt all mixed up between you and Kelly. Then you were acting so cold, I thought you were mad at me. So, when you became team lead, I guess I sort of expected you to make my life miserable. By the time I realized that you never told Dr. Brant about the grass, it honestly didnt matter. I had already figured out that it was much easier to hate you than to deal with the guilt and mixed-up feelings I had. He looks ashamed of himself as his eyes plead for

my forgiveness. I wordlessly end his misery with a gentle brush of my lips against his. Two days later we finally hear other people in the distance. I feel a wave of butterflies in my stomach. I look at Ryan and squeeze his hand. I wonder if hes as nervous as I suddenly feel. He pulls me to him and kisses me. Im going to miss being able to do this, he murmurs in my ear. Me too. Its going to be a long couple of weeks. Can you do me one favor when we get back? My stomach is tied in a knot now. Sure. What do you need? he asks casually. Can you sleep upside down in your pod? I brace myself and wait for his reaction. Huh? he says, dumbfounded by my request. I swallow hard and explain, I know it sounds silly, but I have a theory I need to test out. Its mostly the truth. If it makes you happy, Ill sleep on my head. He laughs and plays with my hair. That wont be necessary. I reach up and we kiss one last time. I try to freeze the moment in my memory: the soft, warm pressure of his lips, the sweet taste that lingers on his tongue, and the incredible way it makes me feel. I force myself to remember our friends, our new family, who are now so very close, and I let go of him. Im full of hope, relief and apprehension as we walk side-by-side towards the voices we hear. Toward home. ***** About the Author Tracy Rozzlynn is a Science Fiction and Fantasy, Young Adult author. She lives in New England with her daughter and several pets. Tracy Rozzlynn has three ongoing series. The Verita Series: The 2nd book Concisus is due out Fall 2011. The Fast-Track Trilogy: Fast-Tracked is now availible. The 2nd book - Fast-Trapped - is expected Christmas 2011. The Darkened Trilogy: The 1st book - Darkened Shadows - will be out September 2011.

Connect with Me Online: Twitter: http://twitter.com/TracyRozzlynn Blog: http://TracyRozzlynn.com Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/TracyRozzlynn Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/TracyRozzlynn

Read an excerpt from the first book in the Fast-Tracked Trilogy Fast-Tracked now available While Mrs. Doulettes graduation speech droned on, I naively gobbled every word of it up. Study hard and youll be rewarded . It had been drilled into me my entire life, and I wholeheartedly believed it. Our system was simple and straightforward a high assessment score guaranteed a great career and a great life. I had no idea that, in just a few days, I would find out exactly how screwed up that thinking was. I glanced to my right and noticed Byron sitting just a few seats over. He looked impatient to get on with the party portion of the evening. It struck me just how handsome he was in his charcoal gray suit and tie. I watched as he ran a hand through his wavy, light brown hair. To me Byrons face had always been honest, kind, and loyal, but recently it had become ruggedly handsome. But it wasnt his looks that had changed. He had always been considered handsome. With his mesmerizing blue eyes, perfectly balanced features, and athletic build, I was used to other girls fawning all over him. I found it amusing. Or, at least, I had before my feelings for him had changed. He caught me looking and smiled, before miming hanging himself from boredom. I smiled back and pretended to fan myself, hoping hed think my sudden redness was a result of the heat. Byron and his younger sister Camille had been my neighbors and best friends since we were little kids. We had shared everything together from scraped knees to our recent first kiss. Well, the kiss had been just me and Byron. Thankfully, Camille had been nowhere in sight for that. But she didnt need to be there; the second she caught sight of us, she had known our relationship had been irrevocably changed, and she couldnt have been happier. Of course, I now suspect that Camille knew what was happening between Byron and I long before the two of us ever had a clue. During the year, Camille had constantly made plans for all of us

to get together. Then, at the last moment she would cancel, conveniently leaving the two of us alone. Coincidentally, throughout the entire experience, the venue of each excursion kept getting more romantic, until the night we finally kissed. After that, all of Camilles planning ceased. She must have figured that we were finally able to come up with secluded and romantic places all on our own. That wonderful night had been just over two months ago. But still, all it took was Byrons smile to make me blush and wonder just how the heck I had been so lucky to fall in love with my best friend. Miss Alexandria Paige Scannell. Mrs. Doulette had finally reached the end of her prattling, and began calling everyones name alphabetically by first name. She never made anything simple. Quickly I hopped up. I made my way across the stage and shook Mrs. Doulettes boney, skeleton-like hand. In return, I received what appeared to be a warm, friendly smile but I knew better. Mrs. Doulette looked down on all the students and couldnt wait for a position to become available at a silver or gray level school. I returned the smile with an equal amount of insincerity. Then I proceeded to the cafeteria. I barely recognized the room when I entered. Long ribbons of blue, purple, silver, and gold fabric had been hung in the center from the ceiling and attached to the walls. It created a tent-like canopy. The silk fabrics diluted the usually harsh florescent lighting and gave the room a soft multicolored glow. The long benches and tables we usually sat at had been replaced with round tables draped in a cream and gold cloth with matching chairs. The scene had been described to me by previous graduates, but seeing it firsthand was so much more amazing. I didnt think it was possible, but in this lighting, you look even more beautiful, Byron purred as he gently kissed my neck and wrapped himself around me. A shiver ran up my spine as his teeth accidentally grazed my earlobe. Flatterer. I turned and kissed him gingerly on his lips, before our parents could enter and ruin the moment. He eagerly returned my affections. Pressing me closer to him, he kissed me back. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the familiar warmth of his touch and the surge of heat that filled me. Pre-assessment relationships were frowned upon in general. Until assessments were finalized, there was always a chance that one person could be assigned to a working class, making the relationship impossible. Our parents explained the risks to both of us when our romance was first discovered. Definitely not one of my best days, as far as memories go. Our parents treated our kissing like a criminal act. I could have burnt the house down and still wouldnt have evoked as strong a response as I got then. After what felt like hours of endless lectures and ranting they finally calmed down enough to listen. We assured them that we understood the risk, and promised that it only made us more determined to succeed on our assessment tests. Eventually, they backed down. Most likely it

was because they figured it was a battle they couldnt win. But, for some unknown reason, over the last two weeks, both of our fathers had become extra critical of our romance. We claimed an empty table for our families and continued to take advantage of our moment of solitude. Camille was the first to arrive, bounding into the room with her light brown waves bouncing on her shoulders. Camille shared her brothers coloring: the same sun-kissed skin, pale blue eyes, and hair but thats where the resemblance ended. Her delicate but striking features contrasted Byrons rugged, broad ones. Camille was as sweet and delicate as she looked. And, though she would never dare admit it aloud, it was obvious to everyone that she looked up to and adored her big brother. Hey, Lexi. Hey, Smellyron, she greeted us, earning herself a noogie from her brother. Breaking free of his grasp, she announced, as if it had just occurred to her, Next year all of this will be for me. Camille hated being younger. She hated the fact that she had to wait a whole year to find out her fate, while Byron and I would already be training for our careers and living our lives. Mr. and Mrs. Levenson entered the cafeteria. Mr. Levenson looked particularly grumpy, wiping a handkerchief across his sweaty, balding head. Just look at this extravagance, Everly. The decorations alone could pay for a months worth of income for at least a hundred orange levels, Mr. Levenson ranted to his wife. Mrs. Levenson responded by making a loud irritated noise at the back of her throat. I immediately strode over to the two of them. You look lovely tonight, Mrs. Levenson. Thats a beautiful dress youre wearing, I gushed. I wanted to change the topic. Lately, it seemed all Byrons father could talk about was the horrible conditions the working classes were forced to live and work in. Byron and I had just finished our assessment test. It had been a grueling weeklong test. We had been asked to complete everything from the simplest to the most complex of tasks and problems. So, right now, all I wanted was to relax and enjoy my celebration with Byron. The last thing I wanted was to listen to his dad make everyone feel guilty about having too much. Besides, I didnt really believe the workers conditions were half as bad as he claimed. Every year, someone managed to get a bill onto the national ballot that would improve their working, living, and educational conditions. And then it was voted down again, without fail, by an overwhelming majority. The working class comprised fifty-nine percent of the votes: if things were that bad, there would be more votes in favor of a change. Some of the more radical supporters argued that many of the working class votes were manipulated by threats of harm or bribes, but I had a hard time believing that. If I were living in the squalor Mr. Levenson described, nothing would keep me from

casting my vote. Patting her sunflower-yellow dyed hair, Mrs. Levenson did a little twirl and exclaimed, Oh, why thank you, Alexandria. I got it just for this occasion. Taking my cue, I added, And your hairstyle is just so elegant. Mrs. Levenson responded with a beaming smile that made the laugh lines around her eyes crinkle. Oh, youre so sweet. I had it done special, just for tonight. Over her shoulder, Byron gave me a wink and a nod. We both though it was hilarious that the smallest of compliments could turn most adults into putty. His mom was definitely no exception. You know Mr. Levenson began, but was quickly cut off by Mrs. Levensons elbow discreetly meeting his ribs. And you look absolutely stunning yourself tonight. Why, that lilac dress is the perfect color for your alabaster complexion and your lovely ebony hair. I swear it just makes those sapphire eyes of yours just pop right out. I felt Byron appear by my side, ready to rescue me before his mom drowned me to death in compliments. Whenever she was excited or nervous, she had a tendency to ramble on. Oh my, the two of you just look so grown up, standing there together. I still remember when the two of you came home from the hospital together. You were born several days apart, but well, then Byron had such bad jaundice, so he had to stay a bit longer. Byron blushed and opened his mouth to complain, but I cut him off. Oh, come on, Byron, I just bet you had the cutest little-yellow-baby-butt in the hospital. I reached up, and ruffled his overly neat hair. An impish glint shone in Byrons eyes. Okay fine, lets talk about my baby butt and later, over dinner, Ill ask your mom about your first time using your potty seat. I quickly raised my hands in a sign of surrender. I did not need that story being retold to anyone, ever again. Byron smiled ruefully, rubbed his knuckles on his shirt, and then blew on them dramatically. He would have continued rubbing in his triumph, but before he could say anything more, his mom reached up and gave us both a strangling hug. I just cant believe my babies are all grown up and will be eighteen in less than a week, she sobbed. If you keep that up, Everly, youll have the whole table crying soon, my mom warned as she joined the table. My mom rescued me from Mrs. Levensons grasp with a hug of her own. Before releasing me, she just held me back at arms lengths and smiled. I couldnt help but smile back. My mom had one of those smiles that warmed everyone around her. Although, I am biased, of course. Ive always held her in awe. I might resemble her, but I never had her ability to capture attention. The moment she walked into the room, everyone noticed, but it was more than just her grace and beauty that attracted their attention. She always had an unwavering confidence about her.

I couldnt help but notice the greetings between our fathers seemed a bit stiff, as if they were forcing friendliness between two near strangers instead of two lifelong friends and colleagues. Our dads were both managers at the recycling plant. It meant they had a longer than average commute to work, but it was a well paid and well respected blue level position. Our dinner was both a visual and delicious feast. We usually enjoyed a nice variety of foods at home, but somehow having it served on delicate little plates arranged like pieces of art made it taste even better. First there was a salad of mixed greens arranged to resemble a blossoming flower. It was followed by a split-pea soup with a star-shaped cream cheese drizzle and a variety of bread stacked in a spiral pattern. Then the main course arrived: roasted rabbit served with sweet potatoes and a steamed assortment of vegetables. The dish was arranged to look like a rabbit grazing in a field. Unfortunately, Mr. Sumner our tall, skinny history teacher who reminded me of a scarecrow had taken the last available seat at our table. For some reason, the common main course of rabbit started him reminiscing about how once chicken was the meat of choice in our country. I had a hard time eating while he described the uncleanly habits of the bird compared to the hygiene of the rabbit. After that he continued on to more boring and less disgusting facts, like how a rabbit is all white meat and lower in fat than the chicken or the cow. Plus six pounds of rabbit meat can be produced on the same amount of feed and water it take to produce one pound of cow beef. Byron looked over with a smile in his eyes and tossed his head in the direction of the dance floor. I didnt need any more prompting. I hastily excuse myself and almost ran from the table. Camille watched us go, a pleading look on her face that begged, Take me with you! Looking back at her, I almost felt guilty as I wrapped my arms around Byrons neck. Almost. Thanks for the rescue, I whispered in his ear. Rescue? What are you talking about? Just to be clear, I was totally saving myself. If push came to shove, I would have tossed you back to the chicken lover, just so I could make a clean escape, he chuckled back at me. Youre just lucky he was satisfied with just Camille as his trapped, attentive audience. He gave me a mischievous smile before twirling, dipping, and then giving me a brief but oh, so very sweet kiss. Ah, now I remember what first drew me to you: youre such an adoring protective big brother, I teased. Then I kissed him back, but my eye caught the scathing glare of Mr. Levenson. Parental killjoy, I groaned and resumed a more appropriate dancing distance from Byron. Despite the periodic glares coming our way, we continued to dance right through to the end of dinner and most of the way through dessert. It was only when Byron noticed that it was my favorite chocolate coated strawberries that we returned to the table. Fortunately Mr. Sumner had wandered

off to another table. By the looks of their expressions, he was retelling his chicken story. I smiled as Byron slid one of his strawberries onto my plate. I picked it up and bit it. The juice tried to dribble down my chin and stain my dress, but I was prepared: I had a napkin ready to catch it. This may be the last night that many children ever get to enjoy the sweet taste of a strawberry or any other fresh fruit for that matter, Mr. Levenson interjected. And thats only assuming they even have any at their end of assessment year feast. I wondered if he was determined destroy whatever enjoyment I had tonight. Charles, this is hardly the time or the place, my dad warned in a stern voice that startled me. I hardly ever heard him sound cross at anyone. Before a response came, Mrs. Doulette appeared at the table with a self-important smile playing across her lips. Ah. Mr. and Mrs. Levenson and Scannell. How good it is to see all of you, she raved in a tone that was somehow more nasal and snooty than usual. Id like you all to meet Senator Nessorton. He came all the way here from the capitol, just to help us celebrate tonight. I knew she was full of it, but I smiled and did my best to look impressed. The politician was probably just making his rounds to all the assessment celebrations he could. He was just ensuring that people would remember his face and name the next time they voted. What better way to make people like you than to have them associate you with a night of celebration and joy. Still, I gave him a warm smile. It didnt matter whether I liked him or not: being a politician meant he was a gold level, a fasttracker. So I needed to show him the proper respect. As soon as the senator was out of earshot, Mr. Levenson leaned in close to me. That, right there, is one of our biggest problems, he grumbled as he hooked his thumb over his shoulder. What chance does a working class student have of becoming gold? None, I tell you. He looked at me expectantly, like he was waiting for me to agree or argue with him. He had a point. Students from worker-level families lived in worker-level areas and, as a result, went to school with other worker-level children. They were usually taught by teachers who didnt want to be there. The only reason anyone ever taught at a worker-level school was because of a demotion due to poor performance, or because it was their very first assignment, and they were still waiting for a better location to open up. Needless to say, it wasnt the best environment to encourage children to excel. Plus, anyone who could afford it hired additional tutoring for their children or at least tutored what they could by themselves. Having parents with up to six additional years of career training definitely gave the upper class children an advantage. Advocates for educational reform were quick to point out that its hard to concentrate on learning when hunger occupies your thoughts. By law, no one under eighteen could have their rations reduced or removed, but that didnt mean that their parents were above taking it when their rations werent enough.

So yeah, I got it: the system could be a self-propagating nightmare for anyone stuck in the worker-class. But short of pulling the kids away from their families and raising them as orphans, shielded from their parents ignorance, what could really be done about it? And even if that was done, would there really be that much of a difference. There was still a debate over nature versus nurture, and many experts believed that intelligence and skill have too much of a genetic influence to justify the expense of an educational relocation. Besides, no matter what, there would always be a need for a working class; the economic crash had shown us all that. But I didnt say any of that to Mr. Levenson. Instead, I stared blankly back at him, opened my mouth and said, Well uh Fortunately, he provided his own answer and relieved me from my suffering. Well, Ill tell you, a working-class student has a better chance I never heard the rest of what Mr. Levenson had to say, because my dad grabbed him by the elbow and pulled him to his feet. Come on, Charles. You and I are going home, my dad growled in a tone that dared anyone to defy him. Not that Mr. Levenson really could. My dad was a good head taller and free of the pot belly that Mr. Levenson sported. Fortunately for me, physically Byron took after his mothers side of the family. Ladies. Kids. Please stay and enjoy your night. Well see you all when you get home. I watched as my dad gave us a polite nod with his head, turned, and led Mr. Levenson out of the room. Was Byrons dad drunk? I dont remember seeing him drink that much, but what other reason could there be for my dad taking him home?