Justin Lytle English 11/11/13

The True Gentleman

Gentlemanweve heard that word numerous times; ever since we were born, our mothers have articulated to us, time and time again, that theyre raising us, their children, to become gentlemen. Our Mothers have conveyed this goal, this wish, to us throughout our lives. My heart goes out to Mothers for having great expectations of their sons and daughters and for taking such interest in the lives of their children. Ever since we were born our parents have encouraged and supported us in our endeavors. If our parents have such great faith in us, shouldnt we do all that is in our power to reach our full potential? At the dinner table, we were taught how to hold a fork, use a napkin, and pass the butter, all while using the magic words please and thank you. Having proper etiquette is definitely part of being a gentleman; the way we present ourselves, sends a message to those whom we come in contact with about who we truly are. How we conduct ourselves in the home, is ultimately how we will conduct ourselves outside of the home. The gentleman is on his best behavior no matter where he may find himself, whether at home, at school or at play. My Father always told me to treat women and children with great respect; women are the mothers of the rising generation and their children are the future of our nation. Women are the culmination of Gods creation; God gave man the responsibility to protect and cherish women. We can show our appreciation for women by never missing an opportunity to open a door, wash the dishes, and come when called. And by no means text when you could be

socializing with a beautiful young woman. The gentleman treats women and children with great respect, even when they dont appreciate it. Being courteous isnt always easy; some days you may find that you didnt sleep the night before, or that all of your favorite breakfast cereal is gone and you had to settle with cheerios instead of raisin bran. Many times the above scenario may apply, and I know its hard but we must remain nonchalant and not let what we ate for breakfast get the best of us. The gentleman doesnt allow his own problems to prevent him from being respectful. Have you ever wondered at times why its so hard to get along with your family? A wise man once told me that the reason its so difficult to get along with our family members is because we clearly see each others faults; we spend so much time in their company that we truly see where they excel and where they fall short. We think that our families are abysmal and that our friends are perfect, but in reality none of us are perfect all the time, and we dont spend enough time with our friends to see where they too fall short and struggle. As a result, we dont desire to spend time with our families but would rather hangout with our friends. My Bishop once told me If you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence then water your grass. I know that at times it is hard to treat our parents and siblings with respect, and love, but we need to remember that a fair portion of fault lies with us; as humans we only see the world through our eyes, but in reality we do things every day that are rude or offensive to those around us. The natural man would have us only see the fault in one another. The gentleman, on the other hand, sees only the positive characteristics in people and overlooks

the negative ones; he looks for the good in everybody and then bases his actions upon what he sees. Great men and women have been, and always will be, capable of doing more than just the fundamentals. They can complete any task set before them; if they dont know how to accomplish it, theyll figure out how and get it done. A few days ago my parents went out of town on some business and left my younger brothers and I home for the day. We were having an enjoyable time together when I realized that our storage rooms needed a major tune up. Consequently, with new found desire, we jumped up, cleaned, and reorganized these storage rooms from the floor to the highest shelves, spending the entire day on it. When my parents came home they were amazed at what their sons had accomplished; their four youngest had decided for themselves to do the biggest job in the house, and did it well. I was amazed at what wed done, amazed at what we could do; I learned that you dont have to be an adult to do hard things. Everyone that does hard things knows that you have to Just Do It! Anyone can do hard things, but its the gentleman who actually goes out and gets it donewithout being asked. The successful gentleman believes in the continual bettering of himself. He isnt satisfied with just a high school education, but rather an education that continues until the day he dies, and thereafter. Continually seeking after knowledge, both physical and spiritual, speeds us along the path of wisdom, and with wisdom comes power, and power, used righteously, can inspire and change the world.

Have you ever wondered why wise men are so wise? Its because they have lived, learned, grown, struggled, and experienced life. I would bet that if you went and asked someone who has had to learn by trial and error, he or she would tell you, I wish I had listened to my parents. The gentleman is smart and tries to avoid learning by trial and error; he instead takes the advice of those who have gone before him. To truly acquire the gentleman education that we so desperately want and need, it is essential to liken all things unto us so we may learn from them. We as human beings are only going to live so long, and we just dont have enough time to make every mistake ourselves, but we do have just enough time to learn, grow, and make a difference. In the Book of Mormon, Nephi says: for I did liken all scriptures unto us, that it might be for our profit and learning (1 Nephi 19:23). The more we liken the past unto ourselves and learn from it, the fewer things well have to learn by trial and error. Some definitions of a gentleman suggest that a gentleman is a man with an independent income who does not work for a living or a man of independent means who does not need to have a wage-paying job. I personally believe that you do not have to be rich to be a gentleman; you could live in a small little house in the middle of nowhere, but as long as you treat others with the respect that they deserve, and you try your best, youre still a gentleman. However, the gentleman that does abide in wealth uses his wealth to do good, to make the world a better place. I have a relative who is well off; he is so quick to do good and help. One of his greatest attributes is that he does each of these wonderful deeds in secret. He doesnt go around telling people what hes done or try to get credit for it; he doesnt want that, he only desires the opportunity to use his wealth to serve those in need. This relative of mine is

a tremendous inspiration to me. I dont think he knows how much hes inspired me to also serve those in need. This relative of mine is a true gentleman. Some great examples of gentleman are: Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, Thomas S. Monson, and Pip from the book Great Expectations. Benjamin Franklin sought after moral perfection, and created a plan to achieve it. George Washington, the father of our country, would never ask his soldiers to do anything he wasnt willing to do himself. Many years ago Thomas S. Monson devoted his life to serving others. As hes traveled the world hes selflessly engaged in lifting the burdens of his fellow men. Pip, the protagonist of the book Great Expectations, started out as common boy but through the help of others and through trial and tribulation, also became a hard working gentleman and a man of character. These Men did not become who they were by merely living life; they became great by putting forth effort, seeking after knowledge, and continually doing good to their fellow men. Out of all the things a gentleman is, theres one definition that gets me every single time. This wisdom came from an astute woman: A gentleman is classy. To me, being a classy gentleman means you know how to dance. Take the Jane Austin gentleman and infuse him with 21st century dance steps, a smile, and youve got it made. Recent events in my life have given me the desire to become the very definition of the grand title gentleman. I want to become a man worthy of being mentioned in the same sentence as Benjamin Franklin or George Washington. You may think Im crazy for wanting to be thought of as a gentleman, to want to be believed as the definition of the word, and that Im

taking this too seriously, but I hope you will see that Im not crazy, but determined to better myself and serve my fellow man.

Further study:

The True Gentelman By John Walter Wayland The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness, but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company; a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.