2013TraumaConference RachelBraaten Introduction Thispaperisintendedtosharemyexperiencesfromattendingthe2013TraumaConference, organizedbytheAmbitNetwork,withmyCommunityCounselingcohortatSt.CloudState University.Theconferenceincludedthreeparts.ThefirstpartincludedaspeakernamedErika Tulbergwhowasadoctoralstudentandafosterparentofanowgrownadultwhohad experiencedtrauma.ThesecondpartincludedaspeakerwhowasascientistnamedAbi Gewirtzwhosharedrecentresearchaboutmechanismsabouttraumathatseemtoincrease thelikelihoodoftraumabeingpassedonthroughgenerations.Thethirdsectionincludedapanel ofthreeparents,moderatedbySueAbderholden,whohadexperiencedhavingtodealwiththe systembecauseoftheresultstraumahashadonthemandtheirchildren. TheStories ErikaTulbergandParenting Ms.

Tulbergtoldaheartfeltstoryaboutfosteringan18yearoldDominicanAmerican youngadult.InNewYork,whereTulberglives,fosterkidshavetheoptiontostayinfostercare untiltheyare21yearsofage,butTulberghadalwaystoldherfosterdaughterthatshecouldstay withheraslongasshewanted. TulberglearnedaboutayoungladywhowasintroubleoneFriday,severalyearsago. Tulberghadneverconsideredbeingafosterparentbeforethistime.Shemadealifechanging decisionandthenextTuesday,hernewdaughterwasmovinginwithher.Thisyoungladyhad beenexhibitingselfinjuriousbehaviorandsuicideideationandhermotherhadvoluntarilygiven heruptothefostersystem.Whatnooneknewatthetime,wasthatthisyoungladyhadbeen molestedbyhergrandfather,andthathehadlikelymolestedmostofthegirlsinthatfamily.

Tulbergtoldthestoryoftryingtoencourageherfosterdaughtertodochoresaroundthe housebymakingalistofchores,halfofwhichTulbergagreedtodo,andhalfofwhichher daughterwasresponsiblefor.SheshowedapictureofthelistanditwasclearthatTulbergwas pullingherweightmuchmorethanherdaughter.Thiswasintendedtorepresentthefactthat takingontheresponsibilityofcaringfortraumatizedyouthisnoteasyandcanalsobe frustrating. Tulbergtoldthestoryoffeelingasthoughshewasgettingpulledintothedramathather daughterwascreating,butalsoknowingthattherewasnothingthatshecoulddoaboutit.Itwas easytoimaginehowthiscouldbetruewhenactuallylivingwithsomeonewhohaslivedthrough trauma.ThemainthingIcameawaywithfromthisstorywas,itcanbedifficulttoteaseawaythe blamefromthetraumatizedpersonwhentheyareactingout,anditcanbeparticularlydifficultto helpthemactuallyplacetheblameontotheperpetratorwhenthesurvivoractuallylovesthe perpetrator.ItwasparticularlypoignantwhenTulberggrabbedherownchest,expressinghow thesurvivorcarriesthatblamesotheirperpetrator/lovedonesdonothaveto. ThefinalstoryIwilltellaboutTulbergwasinrelationtoapictureofherdaughters21st birthday.Itwasthatnightthatherdaughtertoldhershebelievesthatshewouldbedeadif Tulberghadnotacceptedherasherfosterchild.Thisstoryhithome.Inallthestruggle...even whenyouaretheonemakingtherulesandyouaretheoneteachingtheresponsibility,andshe stillwantstospendholidayswithherperpetrator/lovedone...thereisvalueinbeingthisperson. Parenting,Trauma,andResearch AbiGewirtzisanexpertontraumaresearchandshefirstwantedustounderstandthe definitionofresilience,andshewantedtomakethedistinctionbetweenresilienceandthe conceptofprospering.Achildwhoisraisedinaverystablehomeatmospheremayprosperin school,achievingaboveandbeyondwhatisrequired,butthiswouldnotnecessarilybeexhibiting

resilience.Ontheotherhand,achildmaybeexperiencingdomesticabuse,druguse,divorce,or anynumberofotheradverseeventsinthefamily,butcontinuestomaintainaCaveragein school.Thiswouldbeanindicationofresilience.Resilienceisalsoassociatedwithcopingskills. GewirtzwasanadvocateofParentManagementTrainingOregonModel(PMTO)which isatrainingprogramforparentsonhowtosetlimitsandhowtodeliverpositiveencouragement tochildren.Interestingly,thisprogramhashadadramaticbenefitforchildrenwhoarebeing raisedbyparentswhohaveexperiencedtrauma,andwhohavebehavioralissuesasaresult. PMTOdoesnot,however,dealdirectlywithtrauma. GewirtzadvocatedforapublicationcalledRise,whichisbyandforparentsinthechild welfaresystemaccordingtotheRisewebsite.Thispublicationisintendedfortwoaudiences, parentswhohavesurvivedtrauma,andpractitionerswhoworkwithparentswhoaresurvivorsof trauma. GewirtztalkedalotaboutmilitarysurvivorsofwarsintheMiddleEast,PTSDinthis population,andwhataffectstheirexperienceshaveontheirabilitytoassessriskandtrust. Gewirtzwasnotsomuchthestorytellerastheotherspeakers,butshedidtellthestoryabout anIraqveteranwhowouldnotlethischildrenplayoutside.Thesocialworkerwenttocheckon thechildrenandaskedthemwhytheyareinthehouseandthechildrentoldthesocialworker thattheyarenotallowedtoplayonthegrassduetothefireants.Thiswasanexampleofa traumatizedparentbeingunabletoadequatelyassesstheriskduetotheirtraumaticexperience inthewar. SomespecificconceptsGewirtztoldusaboutwerethefactthatwhenaparentis traumatized,theirparentingcapabilityisdiminished,andasPTSDsymptomsincrease, parentingbecomesincreasinglydisruptive.Shehadusimagineaparenthavingbeen traumatizedandhavingtoconstantlypushtheexperiencebackwhilealsoperformingasa

parent.Thereisjustsomuchmoretodothatthetraumasimplygetsintheway.Shealsohad usimagineaparentwhohasbeentraumatizedandhavingachilddotypicalchildlikebehavior suchasscreaming.TheparentwithPTSDinthissituationdoesnotevenrealizehowtheyreact duetotriggerslikethis. IwilllistspecificstudiesGewirtzsharedwithusattheendofthepaperforthosewhoare interestedinlearningmoreaboutrecentresearchontraumaandparenting. ThePanelofParents Therewerethreemothersinterviewedforthepanelandeachofthemtoldtheirdifficult storyabouthavingtocopewithasystemthathasnotworkedwellforthem.Intheend,theywere abletolistsomechangesthattheywouldrecommendandlargelyadvocatedfortrauma informedcare,whicheachofusshouldprobablylookmoreinto. Thefirstpanelist,whowasOjibwe,toldastoryabouthowformanyyearsshehadnot talkedabouthertraumatoanyone.Shewasraisingchildrenandtheywerehavingbehavioral issuesinschool.Shewasaveryproactivemother,sowhensomeonesuggestedtohershevisit atherapist,shewentrightaheadanddidthat.Unfortunately,whenshewalkedintothe therapistsoffice,thereceptionistwasinclosedinaglasswallandtherewasafishbowlonthe receptionistsdesk.Thisfishbowlhadtwofishinitandonewasdead.Thereceptionistdidnot bothertoopenthewindowtogreether,butratherslidsomepapersforhertofillout,underthe window.Afterthisstory,sheaskedthequestion,ifthisisthewaytheytreatthefish,howare theygoingtotreatme.Thispanelistwasalsoadvocatingforaskingthequestion,what happenedwhenapractitionerencountersaclientwhoishavingbehavioralissues,takingthe blameoffoftheclient,andplacingitontothetrauma,forthebehavior. Thesecondpanelisttoldaheartwrenchingstoryaboutherexperienceswithdrug addictionwhileraisingherfourchildren.Thiswomanwasasinglemotherandafterhavingtwo

children,shefeltthatsheneededtostayontopofthingsinordertoworkthreejobsandprovide forthemadequately.Thisistheoriginalreasonshebegantousemethamphetamine.Whileon meth,sheconvincedherselfthatitisokaytobearachildonmeth,andeventuallysheboretwo addictedbabieswhoarealivetodaybuttheybothhavebehavioralissues. Asherchildrenweregrowingup,womannumbertwohadherhouseraidedbytheswat teamfivetimes.Herchildrenwereinthehouseallfivetimesthishappened.Theyexperienced theSWATmembersbreakingdownthedoor,yellingatthem,andseeinggunspointedattheir mothershead.Theissueswiththesystemthatthissecondwomanexpressedwasinrelation howthejudicialsystemtreatspeoplewhoareaddicted.Neverhadthecourtorderedhertoget treatmentforherpasttrauma.Thejudgesimplymadehergettreatmentforherdruguseandit wasnotaffectiveforher,becausethedeeperreasonshedevelopedaddictionwasbecauseof pasttrauma. Thethirdwomanannouncedherselfashavinganxietyandashavingachildwhodied fromsuicide.Whenthischilddiedfromsuicide,hehadbeenonsuicidewatchinalocal psychiatricward.Shealsotalkedabouttherevolvingdoorphenomenon.Thisiswhenaclient receivescarewhichisnotadequate,therefore,theclientreturnsmanytimesforadditional treatment.Sheadvocatedforcoordinatedcareplanstosolvetherevolvingdoorissue. AdvocacyforTraumaInformedPractice Thisconferencewaseyeopening.Itputsomeclearpointsonhowthesystemasa wholecouldhelptraumatizedclientsbetterthanitcurrentlydoes.Thestoriestoldbythethree panelistswerenotunique.Thesystemfailspeopleeverydayduetopractitionerswhoarenot traumainformed.Ihaveaclearplantoseekoutadditionaltrainingonhowtobe traumainformed,personally,andIencouragemycolleaguestodothesame.

AdditionalResources SideNote:ItriedmybesttogetasmuchinformationaboutresourcesasIcould.Thesearenot intendedtolooklikeAPAstylereferences,butratheracompilationforfutureresearchfor whomevertheymaybeuseful.Inaddition,someinformationmaybeincorrectduetohavingto dothingsveryquicklyasthespeakerwaspresenting. VincentJ.Felitti,MD:AdverseChildhoodExperiencesStudy Resilience(Lutheretal.,2000) Parenting(Mastenetal.,1999) Rise:ByandforParentsintheChildWelfareSystem http://www.risemagazine.org/issues/Rise_25/The_heart_of_the_problem.html Gewirtz,Medhanie,&DeGormo(2011)JournalofFamilyPsychology,25,2938[limitsettingand positiveencouragementinchildrecovery] ParentManagementTrainingOregonModel(PMTO) AfterDeploymentAdaptiveParentingTools(ADAPT) Bowlby,(1969).TraumaElicitsProximitySeeking