Why People Resist You

www.writelikethemasters.com Version 2.
41 July, 2012
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The author and publisher of this eBook and the associated materials have used their best efforts in preparing this material. The author and publisher make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy, applicability, fitness, or completeness of the contents of this material. They disclaim any warranties expressed or implied, merchantability, or fitness for any particular purpose. The author and publisher shall in no event be held liable for any loss or other damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages. If you have any doubts about anything, the advice of a competent professional should be sought. This material contains elements protected under International and Federal Copyright laws and treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. Copyright 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved. www.writelikethemasters.com Page 2
About the Author

Clive Cable began his journey in sales in 1986 working door-to-door commission only. In 1990 he put his sales skills to work on paper as a direct-response copywriter. He has written letters that have successfully started companies from scratch. One of his adverts stayed in a national magazine, for 18 months, unchanged. This launched his own company. Since 1995 he has been giving seminars and workshops on innovate marketing and proven sales strategies. His latest work was developed from advanced Neuro-linguistic programming, (NLP).
Clive studied with Kenrick Cleveland, one of the worlds highest paid sales and persuasion trainers. From time to time he tests and refines his concepts by selling home improvement products on a commission only during these tough times. He still consistently breaks company sales records with ease. Recently he teamed up with Stuart Goodship to create special rapid learning sessions explained at the end of this book. These sessions enable you to learn while relaxing. No need to mentally rehearse anything. All you do is lie back and listen. The recorded sessions that go along with this e-learning programming guide you effortlessly to mastery. Within one year your Influence Intelligence will be among the very best in the world and people wont be able to resist you! You can reach him at www.writelikethemasters.com
Copyright 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.
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Table of Contents
About the Author Introduction Chapter 1 The Persuasion Elite Chapter 2 Motivating Emotions Chapter 3 The Need to Protect Chapter 4 The Need to Connect Chapter 5 Deep Rapport Chapter 6 Mastering Rapport Chapter 7 The Need to Learn Chapter 8 The Science of Compliance Chapter 9 Social Influence in Action Chapter 10 Suggest Ability Chapter 11 Plot-Point Persuasion Chapter 12 Resisting Resistance Chapter 13 The Heroic Journey Chapter 14 Learning to Learn Fast Chapter 15 Post Persuasion Checklist Resources 2 3 15 20 28 31 35 49 58 63 72 76 87 94 99 125 131 134
Introduction
Do you ever get annoyed when people dont do what you want them to do? Are you your suggestions to others frequently ignored? Do people occasionally stop listening when its your turn to talk? Are your views often invalid in the eyes of others? Does your partner/spouse refuse to do what you want most of the time? When you talk to your children or parents do they sometimes reject your ideas? Do your clients refuse to give you referrals? Have you experienced any resistance from friends and family lately? When negotiating do you lose a lot of the time? Do people withhold their love and attention from you at times?
If you answered yes to more than three of these questions then what youre about to read will show you why this is happening to you. Before we get started, have this one fact crystal clear in your mind - if you dont have a plan to persuade others, youll have to go along with their plan to persuade you. My name is Clive Cable and Ive been researching, using, and fine tuning persuasion strategies for over 23 years. I have looked at persuasion in print and in person from the worlds best and Im here to tell you about why people resist you. I become involved in selling in 1986 working as a door-to-door commission only salesperson. This is a world where you only eat what you kill. If the buyer smelt commission breath on you that was the end. So even though they knew you were selling to them, you had to come across as if you werent.
And with the low self-confidence I had back then it wasnt easy. I struggled for a month, and when you have a wife, two children, a mortgage plus all the other bills - each month seems like a year. I began to read books, and pick up anything I could get my hands on to help me make money and be more persuasive. For the first four years it was difficult. But I found the sales tools that worked, made money, and survived to help you. You see if I had in my possession what youre about to read, I would have made 10 times the money I made back then. As we get into specific details you should understand this. Every word has power. When you talk to anyone - once youve said what youve said you cant take it back. You words will hurt or heal and theres very little in between. Unconfident people make the following basic mistakes with their language. And if thats you it isnt necessarily your fault. Understanding emotions In school, no one ever teaches self-confidence. Nor do they show you about word choices that unconsciously hurt others and lower their self-esteem. The truth is people feel good about you if you say the things they like. This makes them want to be around you. Their self-esteem, their ego and their self-worth gets a boost every time your words trigger off positive feelings inside of them. If on the other hand you are constantly saying things people dont want to hear they wont want to be around you. By making people feel bad even unintentionally you hurt their self-confidence and undermine them. Also a lot of words will trigger past events and emotions. And because the brain works by association, what you say will fire off certain emotions. Either good or bad.
These are known as anchors. When you unconsciously pair one thing with another, it anchors the two together. For example: The smell of freshly brewed coffee can bring back memories of being with someone special in a caf. Or the music you used to hear as a child when heard again recalls what you were doing at that time. All this goes on below the level of normal consciousness, in other words outside of your awareness. If you use words that upset people and stir up negative memories, they will associate their upset-ness with you. Theyll lose confidence in you . . . therefore youll find it difficult or impossible to persuade them. Lets look at some of the many reasons why people might resist you today. These are usually down to the choices of words you use when talking to others. Your choices of words are either bonding you or alienating you from others its simple but not easy. The 3 Rs Theres three Rs in persuasion. Rapport Resistance and Rejection. If you have strong rapport youll meet little resistance and almost no rejection. If you have mediocre rapport youll meet more than your share of resistance and a fair bit of rejection. If you have little or no rapport youll always encounter resistance (unless youre forced to comply, as you are when youre stopped by the police). If you have no rapport youll have outright rejection. Now everyone knows if you want to persuade someone to do something youre not going to swear at them. I mean thats just stupid right?
Want to know a word thats almost as bad as swearing? This word completely destroys trust, confidence and rapport at the unconscious level the instant its heard. Imagine that, one word so powerfully negative and destructive to persuasion that even outside of your awareness it completely turns you off the person who uses it constantly. And yet normal, decent people believe this word is okay to use in conversation. Its not, never has been never will be. Using this word is like listening to a bunch of people talking and no one listening. Its like a competition of opinions and nothing more. No one makes any headway because no one is interested in the people who use this particular word. Ill tell you what it is in just a moment ... in the meantime see if you can guess. This word seems so insignificant when you hear it. Yet its so profoundly awful when your brain sees the real meaning behind it which it always does. Have you guessed the word yet? No, I havent used it, however I will soon. When I tell you, youll begin to hear it all the time. The minute you stop using it, youll instantly be more persuasive. Hows that for a promise. Also people will listen more to what you have to say. Youll even get better responses from the people you talk to. And your selfconfidence will immediately begin to grow. It is of course the word but. Yes but, I hear you say, its only a little word. And my reply is, the meaning of your communication is the response you get. If you want a more positive response use better language. But no one has ever told me the word but can be that bad.
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What I can tell you is this, the word but negates all that went before it. Here are some examples: Hes a lovely guy, but he swears a lot. I like that dress, but it doesnt suit her. Thats a good TV programme, but I hate the presenter. In each case the word but is the destroyer. If you use a lot of yes buts and no buts your message has been phrased in such a way that the other person doesnt want to accept it. If you use yes but and no but a lot, then you will move out of rapport with the people you are with, lose their trust and confidence and youll greatly reduce your chances of persuading them. And if youre yes butting to these words right now its because youre a certain type known as a reactant. According to Professor Knowles (who is the worlds leading researcher on resistance), reactants mismatch or find differences in what another person is saying to them. Another name for a reactant is a mismatcher. These people always say the opposite to what youre saying. If youre finding yourself reacting to what Im saying then I dont suppose you could find what Im saying wrong, could you? Cleaning up your language in the ways Im talking about here will allow you to have more confidence. When you have more confidence youll influence others effortlessly. Can I be honest with you? Shall we look at another very important way people prevent themselves from persuading? I hope you dont use these words, BUT if you do you can stop. Now as a side note that was an example of the correct way to use the word but. I used it to negate a bad habit you may have.
The words to be honest or honestly are words that presuppose youve not been all that honest up until now , so why should someone believe you now if they think youve been lying to them previously? Okay, YOU may not think there is anything wrong with the words to be honest, but the person youre attempting to persuade will. If youre in business trying to convince others some people will naturally be wary. And in most cases they will have very little faith in you and refuse to put their trust and confidence in you. They have probably been taken for a ride before by someone else who repeatedly said, Ill be honest with you. Never use the words honestly, or to be honest. If youre being honest, you dont need to say so By saying to be honest, you detract from your message. Its not funny This next word is a stock favourite of one of my brothers, who, as it happens works in sales. It grates on my ears like chalk scraping a blackboard every time I hear him use the word, NOT. Im not being funny but... Now my brain and yours doesnt hear the word not in this sentence structure. Im not being awkward but... what does that sentence really say to you? It says to me you are being awkward, funny or any other word youre trying to distract me from. Stop using this word, and watch how peoples reactions towards you change for the better. You may be saying, how am I going to remember all of this? The answer is, take one word at a time and for one whole week leave it out of your vocabulary. More bad language Im now going to show you the next set of disgusting words to avoid when you want to persuade people to your way of thinking.
Before I do I was just wondering, have you found that its the people who seek out valuable information like this that get further ahead in life? Theyre usually more successful than others and make more money than most people. Just suppose you could get more people to do what you asked because you had better persuasion skills and more self-confidence. How would that benefit you? As you think about those benefits, lets explore other words never to use in persuasion. As we do can begin to realise what having even more of this kind of information can do for you? I thought so. Moving on the next nasty little word is try. Yes it seems so trivial its hardly worth mentioning, until that is you ask someone to do something important for you. And they say, Ill try. What theyre really saying is, I probably wont, and if I use the word try Ive got my get-out clause before I even start. I didnt really promise. I only said Id try. Sound familiar? If you use this word, then others will know you wont do anything you say either. You lose their confidence straight away. So cut it out, heres why. Try and raise your eyebrow. Try really hard now and get it up. What happened? If you lifted your eyebrow you were not following my instructions, because you did it. If you didnt lift it you werent following my instructions either because you didnt do it. You can only do something or not do it, if you dont believe me see where you can find anything out there in nature that is merely trying to do something. There are only two things that really count in life. 1. The confidence to go out into the world and get what it is you want.
2. The competence or having the right set of skills so you know in advance you are assured of succeeding. All the rest is just commentary. And one feeds off the other, self-confidence is fuelled by self-efficacy. You first have the confidence to learn new things and risk new ways of doing things. Next you get the results you were after because you were competent. Its like a feedback loop. Other words to leave to others. Dont use this word Dont is another bad word when persuading others because youre actually instructing them to do the very thing you dont want them to do. Dont imagine yourself on the beach right now in the warm sun, looking out over a calm sea. Were you just there? But I said dont how could you? My brain and your brain cannot process the word dont, thats why. Dont think how that would help you now, so lets move onto the next set of words in the negative category were focusing on. Hitting the rewind button The words should and shouldnt shouldnt be used in persuasion. These take the power out of your persuasion like popping a balloon with a pin. You may get a loud bang but all the wind has gone out of your argument. There are no rewind buttons on life so you cant go back and should have, could have, shouldnt have done anything. All you do when you used to use these words should, shouldnt, etc., is make people feel guilty. And since people never like to feel guilty you get the blame for making them feel bad about something theyre supposed to have done or not done.
As I said earlier if you make people feel bad, theyll associate that feeling with you. Are you beginning to see how this all works? Its a different viewpoint to look at language in this way. Youre starting to hear words people say differently. Removing these from your language will make other people feel better about being around you. Theyll quickly catch on and react to you in a warmer, friendlier way. Its as if a light bulb goes off in their mind and they see you in a new light. Your words, the way you speak somehow sounds different and they grasp what youre trying to get across. They move closer to you figuratively speaking. They warm to you faster than ever before. Youll also begin to feel more confident around others. With clean language you can move into persuading others with relative ease. Now that you understand how words can automatically trigger off emotions you want to make sure you trigger good emotions in order to get people to do what you want them to do. Change happens But what about the language other people use when they talk to you? I believe other people use language that can end up taking you away from your lifes dreams. When that happens it can affect your self-worth, your self-motivation, your self-esteem, your self-image and much more. Its been said thousands of times before prevention is better than cure. But its not easy to prevent people putting you down or is it? Youll find the answer to this and discover how you can be far more successful at persuasion, in business, at home, in fact anytime you want to win.
Go to www.writelikethemasters.com and find out just how easy it is to succeed at almost anything you want to do.
Chapter 1 The Persuasion Elite

Aristotle, perhaps the most famous orator of all time, talked of three routes to changing the mind of another person. 1. Ethos Ethos uses trust, and focuses first on the one doing the persuading. Here the persuader shows off his reputation with quotes from others, books, articles, etc. The reputation of a person depends on their past, and what is known and spoken about them. Its worth saying here, although theres usually a close relationship between reputation and reality, its not always the case. Politicians, for example, guard their reputations carefully, yet many still have skeletons in the closet. Proving reputation often means reminding others of your notable past, perhaps through stories of your successes, of how you have helped others and been able to see the truth where others have not. Credibility Credibility goes hand in glove with authority. Both depend on your expertise and how this is put across or even proven beforehand. Proving expertise before you meet the other person is also known as positioning. To use credibility, position or reposition yourself as THE expert in your field. Talk as if you cannot be challenged. Show how others look up to you. Use powerful gestures, eye contact and so on to create the concept of strong leadership, that way people will naturally follow you. 2. Pathos Pathos is all about evoking emotions. Make people excited create anticipation about what youre going to say. Ask questions to uncover their core emotions. Tell stories about yourself, how you started out way behind the crowd and made it through to success. Use Pathos to show your own values and how you put others before yourself. You can also work with their dreams and desires or even challenge their long held beliefs. Words are powerful and key words (like love, hate, passion, hurt, power, money, etc., can trigger deep seated emotions and feelings.
3. Logos Logos focuses first on the argument, using cool logic and rational explanation, as well as irrefutable evidence. It is undeniable, self-evident and demonstrable. Evidence Science and scientific proof are based on the use of pragmatic evidence. If you argue without evidence, a scientist would dismiss your argument as anecdotal. Evidence you can physically prove cannot be refuted. You see this in the courts of law. Expert witnesses, hard facts, forensic science are all examples of this. It is very difficult to deny any of these without calling into question the validity of the evidence produced. The proof elements you use in the logical part of your persuasion can include statistics, pictures and testimony from other people (especially first hand). Pathos can be used to give emotional spin on the logic just used. Ethos is also important to establish the authority of the proof youre offering. Reason Reason uses rational points, undeniable truths, observable facts, accepted truths and proven theories. Where evidence does not exist, you can get by with good reasoning. All beliefs are held together by cause and effect. This causes that. Or even this equals that. Use the word because to make this work in your favour. Reasoning often uses syllogisms that include a major premise, a minor premise and a conclusion based on the combination of the two premises. For example any x can cause any y. As in the language pattern, the fact that X means Y. Also, stating four facts followed by your suggestion can have a powerful effect on what is believed and accepted. This is your first guide to powerfully influencing others. But wait theres more! I came to the conclusion long ago if you dont have a plan to influence others youll have to default to their plan not to be influenced. Is that what you really want? I dont think so. I assume you want your own way more often. Am I right or am I right?
Okay, enough of the cheesy lines. Actually I stole that one from the film Groundhog Day, one of THE all-time best films on persuasion. Back to the plot: If Id had in my possession what youre about to read, I would have made at least 10 times the money Ive made in my life so far. Before we begin, you'll naturally want to get the most from your time spent learning... to do that you can just read the entire book from cover to cover to get an overview. Alternatively, you may want to go back and focus in on one of the chapters and study whats there. When you know that my words have made sense, you can then get a feel of how you would use these ideas in your life. They might seem a little awkward initially, like riding a bike for the first time. However, youll soon find them becoming part of your on-going behaviour which will naturally become seamless as you integrate this new understanding of persuasion. This book will enhance your learning experience because of the choice and order of words Ive used. They may seem a little strange to you at first. If at any time you feel overwhelmed, just take a short break, as this will speed up your learning. Lets look at the word informed (in-formed). What a powerful word. If you look it up in a dictionary you'll see . . . 1. To give or impart knowledge. 2. To make known; to give substance, character or distinction. To pervade or permeate with manifest effect. 3. Illuminate, inspire and instruct. Although - I prefer it as something that forms within you - becomes a part of you and your on-going beliefs and/or behaviours. If you want to be the best you can be at influence, then this book is your next step. This information has formed within me so well... it's in everything I do when I'm persuading. I don't even have to think about it, I just behave my way into a sale or into getting what I want from others and if I can do it so can you. Influence is a social skill and you'll be using natural everyday strategies that some people use all around the world without even realising it. These strategies only work when you use them. There's nothing false about them. They are as normal as human life.
Use them with integrity and they will serve you well for the rest of your life. Use them to con people and people will seek out their revenge. That said, these strategies are as current as today, as proven as yesterday and applicable for all of your tomorrows. So lets begin our quest to discover what the best persuaders do and why they do it. But first youll need to have some knowledge of the latest findings on human motivations and emotions. New research explains persuasion Theres a part of your brain the limbic system which is not time oriented, nor object oriented. What this means is - it cant tell the difference between itself and others and has no concept of past, present, or future. That timeless, objectless part of your brain receives what youre giving because it doesnt know whether its going out or coming in. If you care for and give to another person, their brain cant tell whether its you doing it to them or if theyre doing it to themselves. The brain always receives what it gives. Harvill Hendrix Author/psychologist What this means to you as a persuader is this, when you copy another person, when you move into deep rapport with them, their brain cant tell the difference between you and them. This is heady stuff I know, but Ive been doing this for years. I can and have walked up to another person and started a conversation with them as if I already knew them. I quickly move past any resistance and get to know about them in less than a minute. Within five minutes theyre telling me things about themselves they would usually only tell a long standing, trusted friend. Why is it that women are so much better than men at forming and maintaining connections with others? Apart from their superb social conditioning . . . their highly developed speech centre in the brain . . . and better connections between their right and left hemispheres . . . theres something else going on. Women connect using a number of very subtle strategies. All of these are related to an energy exchange. These are best shown during my live events so you can clearly see how another person is affected by how you use your energy when youre with them.
There is a mass of research that backs up this concept. In fact I dont recall who said it, but here is a great quote, Theres nothing as practical as a good theory. Watch the film What the bleep do we know for insights. I practised and still do the energetic rapport strategies and Ive had some fantastic results with it. Now, if I can do this, so can you. Especially with the exciting new strategies I'll be revealing to you when we meet up in person. Until then here are some more useful, instant rapport strategies that only work. There are four core motivators, getting the things we want, having great relationships with others, learning new things and keeping all that we have. Lets look at these in order. The need to acquire We all love to acquire new things. We are a nation of consumers well trained by advertising of all kinds. The need to continually learn We love to learn about the things that interest us. The news is massive business worldwide. Its constantly bombarding us with things we didnt even know that we didnt want to know. The need to make connections Another compelling motivator is bonding with people, making friends, having love relationships and being a member of a group of likeminded people. The need to protect ourselves But over and above all of these is the need to defend what we have acquired, what weve learned or what we believe in, and our relationships. This survival instinct runs deep within us. Im going to come back to these four dominant motivators a bit later and after that youll have a clear path, an exact model, a concrete understanding of the ways in which people are persuaded and how you can get more people to do more of what you want. The model Ill be introducing you to later has four parts. In the centre is Defend because at the outset of all persuasion attempts people look to defend, resist or reject anyone who comes across as shady.
Chapter 2 Motivating Emotions

Now were going to explore the four core motivations and drives. As we do keep in mind that these affect you too, at such deep levels that you may even want to take notes here, to keep you detached while you make some profound discoveries. Just to recap on what you read earlier The first core motivation is to DEFEND ourselves from harm, trickery, or deceit. The second is to BOND with other people, we love to belong to groups, families and clubs. The third is the fact we like to LEARN about new things and how they can make our life better. Then and only then do we look to the fourth core motivation - ACQUIRE - we decide to own certain things to enrich our experience of life. To plug into these four core motivators in a powerful way you must have a mental model to work with. This allows you to easily dovetail, fit in and align yourself perfectly with these four core motivations, so you can persuade with precision every time. In this book we'll be taking an in-depth look at each of the four core motivations and the mental map weve created known as the Persuasion Equation. For the first time you get a real, solid, reliable understanding of how to persuade someone. You'll soon see from the first diagram that DEFEND is at the centre of the four core motivations. This is because if we perceive any kind of threat, we want to defend ourselves.
Diagram one The Four Core Motivators
I see defence as contracting inwards and growth as expanding outwards. When we contract inwards, its a stress reaction that triggers our flight or fight mechanism.
When this happens to someone youre trying to persuade, its because of something you said or did. Now you have issues relating to rapport or bonding that must be resolved quickly, so you can both move forward in the persuasion process.
As a persuader you see that the person youre persuading is trying to PROTECT themselves from con-artists and the like. So from your perspective (see diagram 2) you want to make sure you have integrity before you begin to persuade. Honesty shows through. People have really good bullshit detectors these days and can see through most deceivers. This is the one characteristic that sets you the professional persuader - apart from all the 'wannabe ' temporary persuaders who lie for a living. Did you know a politician is the only person who can tell a lie and prove it? Thats the trouble with politics today and the public see through it. So what Im saying here is that DEFEND and PROTECT are the same thing. You as the persuader should concentrate on your ethics so you never trigger this core emotion. Okay, you are going to get objections even if youre impeccably honest. All forms of objections can cause the buyer to defend and protect their position. However, if the buyer is concerned about any issues during their time with you they may appear to be defending, but in reality they are only looking for reassurance from you. At this point they are buying into what youre saying and in their mind they are testing your integrity. If you pass you win if not, go back to work on your integrity. From the perspective of the person youre persuading, the sequence starts when they see no real reason to defend themselves. They naturally want to bond with you, the persuader. Once bonded sufficiently, the next logical step is to learn about what the persuader has to offer and see if it fits with their mental construct of what they desire. If it does, they will want to acquire it. So, to persuade someone to your way of thinking you can easily use the Persuasion Equation as your mental model. Only this time the sequence starts when you connect with them. Because the person youre persuading has to let down their defences first. In the Persuasion Equation we focus on the word Protect, although it means the same thing, its easy to remember the sequence as it rhymes, like this: Protect Connect Inject Accept Ill come back to this in just a minute to explain how it works. Before I do I want you to understand that once you have mastery with covert persuasion you can use advanced strategies. These will prevent anyone from even thinking of protecting themselves, giving you more opportunities to get what you want from
them. This could be money, love, sex, compliance if youre a boss or married and you want your other half to do something, a parent persuading their kids or anything your heart desires. Phase one If youre reading this book because youre in sales and you want to improve your performance, then the next section is especially for you. In fact, you can use all of what you read here in this book to dramatically increase your income. As a salesperson the best way to disarm the defences of other people is to not look like a typical salesperson. If you do, the buyer will see you as a predator and will see a need to protect themselves. And as you know, everyone loves to buy but hates to be sold. Now, heres an anomaly for you if youre in sales. You may have heard the saying 'all buyers are liars.' What Ive come to realise over my 23 years in sales is this, there are either buyers or liars.
Diagram 2 - The Persuasion Equation
What's the difference? You can't offend a buyer but you can offend a liar. Liars are easily offended. Theres a new saying I want you to always keep in mind. 'A liar never buys and a buyer never lies.' Have you ever noticed that you cant offend a buyer? If you do something wrong and admit it, they instantly forgive you. I was 24 hours late for one appointment, the couple didnt mind and they still bought, because I told them the truth. Liars are easy to spot at the beginning of the persuasion process. Heres how: You cant get them to comply with a small request. If the person youre with doesnt move quickly into being compliant, youll find it very difficult to persuade them. These types of people arent going to buy, they know it and so they are defensive and protective, thats why they dont comply with you. They may not have the money and are just tyre kicking. They may be protecting their friend or a family member who is weak and vulnerable, so they assume the role of the buyer to look into whats on offer. Usually these kinds of scenarios occur when selling in the home, but they can crop up in B2B sales too. In direct sales, where the seller goes into someones home,
many salespeople try to get compliance early by asking for a drink of water or a cup of coffee. Hey, people know this one, its old hat. Let them offer you something, thats far smoother and helps them bond with you and your acceptance of their offer helps build a stronger connection with them. Phase two As I was saying earlier . . . once the person youre persuading lets you past the 'Defend' phase they want to Bond with you. Using the Persuasion Equation gets you past their need to protect against someone they think could harm them, and naturally moving on to the connection phase. In diagram 2 you are proactive, thats why we use the word 'Connect.' But in diagram 1 they are reactive. Thats why we use the word Bond because this happens all the time without them thinking consciously about it. Whereas we are actively engaged in persuading. Youll reach the 'phase 2' stage much quicker and easier by using certain types of advanced rapport strategies to instantly connect with people. Everyone knows that people buy from people who like them and who are like them. The idea is to become so like them that they cant tell where they end and you begin. Theres such a strong blending of personalities, they cannot resist you, because they cant resist themselves. Phase 3 Once you have strong rapport you go to the inject phase of the Persuasion Equation. The reason Im using this word inject is because your goal is to inject yourself and your ideas into their mental world, that is to say, their view of the world. Persuasion is a patriarch or male approach to life. All businesses are patriarchal in nature and all homes are matriarchal in nature. The home welcomes people in, nurtures them, and caters for their well-being. A business, by its very nature, goes out into the world advertising, marketing, selling, thrusting and injecting itself into peoples lives to make them better in some way. Everyone makes a picture in their minds of what they expect to happen, even if its outside of their awareness. So you have them imagine your outcome is already a part of their picture!
Covert suggestions in the form of advanced language patterns are the way to inject yourself into someones mental picture. As you move into phase 3 youre injecting yourself into their world, so its better to position yourself as an authority figure. Okay, lets get clear on the word 'authority.' We are all a part of society. Some of us have higher social standing than others. Doctors are typically higher on the social ladder than builders. These positions may change however. If a doctor is having an extension built, for example, then he may defer to the authority of the builders expertise. What this means is, one person is in a one up position and the other is in a one down position. Yes, the person who has the authority is the one in the one up position. So, unless you can get to a one up position or at least to equal, you cant persuade. If youre one down then you have to supplicate. I dont know about you but I hate to beg for anything. In Chapter 4 well explain this further where we talk about the four different marketplaces. Each marketplace has a separate set of rules and they are always viewed from the perspective of the buyer. We call this 'psychographics.' Its the study of the mental habits of all types of buyers. Please note, when we say buyers, we mean anyone who you want to persuade. So if you're not currently working in sales, please substitute the word buyer for someone you want to persuade. If the person youre trying to convince isnt willing to learn, or as in the Persuasion Equation, allowing you to inject yourself into their picture of what they want from you, then you may not be in a position to persuade. Keep in mind, all learning comes from people who are in a one up position of authority. This is how they inject themselves into your mental model of the world. Phase 4 In this phase the person youre persuading is accepting you. Once they buy you, theyll buy from you. There are only two choices in the end, accept or reject. If you get any strong objections at the end of your persuasion, its because they reject you. By the way, rejection can take place anywhere in the model.
The better you are at persuasion the less likely youll find yourself outside of acceptance. No one likes rejection and you can avoid this as you learn more about persuasion at one of our live events called Unlocking the Mind Code. Attending one of these live events puts you in the driving seat of persuasion making you unstoppable. On the next two pages is a visual description of both models. Notice how the two meld together in your mind to allow you to quickly use these to your advantage in every persuasion encounter. This model is designed to allow you to consciously understand where you are at every stage of the persuasion process. Later your unconscious mind will drive this process for you outside of your awareness. Like driving a car, half the time you don't recall the journey, but you always arrive at your chosen destination. Isn't your mind amazing? It works by habit mostly. When you, like me, have the habit of consistently influencing others to do what you want, when you want, anytime you want, your life will be so amazing you'll have to check from time to time that you're not dreaming! The joy of persuading others to do what you want them to do is better than almost anything else you can experience. Here is a secret for you that Ive never told anyone but you, my reader. People love the experience of being persuaded more than you love to persuade them. I know this sounds a little strange at first, but hear me out. Persuasion is like seduction in that there are two sides of the coin we all engage in. Study after study proves that right after we buy something, we want to buy the exact same thing again because the experience was so enjoyable, Why? Well cast your mind back to one of the four core motivations - the need to acquire. Now as you move forward in your learning, you continue to connect with me through my words and acquire more know-how in persuading powerfully.
Copyright 2012 Clive 3 Cable Rights Reserved. reasons www.writelikethemasters.com Page 27 Diagram for All rapid learning we've included this
mental model people adhere to whenever someone attempts to persuade them about anything. You use it too. In diagram four we'll show you the entire mental model of the Persuasion Equation - everything else fits into it.
Diagram 4 First use the various rapport strategies ranging from the simple to the most sophisticated. Next get the person's criteria and values which are their real motivations for buying. Then inject 'you' into their motives and like - they buy. Copyright magic 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved. www.writelikethemasters.com Page 28
Chapter 3 The Need to Protect

At the core of our being is survival. It's our oldest and most primitive need or instinct. All forms of distress including chronic (on-going) and episodic (momentary) stress stem from the need to continue living. The Protect motivation is the flight - run away from or stay and fight mechanism. This is not just physical, but also mental attacks on things like our self-esteem. These can cause a negative reaction. However, not all defend strategies are negative. The positive side of the Protect reaction can be to protect useful accomplishments, or defending against making irrational changes in relationships, jobs, place to live and similar situations.
The First Hurdle of Persuasion
We defend our family, our choice of work, our friendships, beliefs, possessions, and the way in which we live. The classic view of defend is the win/lose scenario where you might be on the losing end of the equation. This is especially true if you are being persuaded, what you want is a win/win and if you're the persuader you're best strategy is also win/win. Buyers are aware there are sales people who smell of commission breath. This causes a buyer to contract inwards and protect themselves with stalls and objections. Your first goal is to tread carefully in such a way that the Protect trigger is not activated. As everyone is concerned about their security and protecting it at all costs, your first strategy is to create comfort, so this part doesn't awaken. If youre familiar with Maslows hierarchy of needs, Protect is at the bottom of the pile as pure survival, however, we are talking about more than that here. When were not out acquiring new things in our lives we tend to protect what we have. All maintenance of buildings, relationships, mechanical things like cars, are a part of this protection and preservation of what we have.
Also, when we want something extra in our lives we still have to protect ourselves against unscrupulous people. Why do you think women are so cautious when being chatted up by someone they dont know? If you cant get past this natural instinct then you wont get far in any persuasion situation. Another truism is that theres always a sale when a buyer meets a seller. The seller convinces the buyer to buy, or the buyer convinces the seller of all the reasons why they shouldnt buy. The latter is the protective mechanism in full swing. At the beginning of any interaction there are antennas up and emotions are running high. Create comfort and familiarity fast or prepare to walk. By the way, the word familiarity comes from the word family, which means familiar. People agree with people who agree with them. People like people who look like they look, sound like they sound and do the same things as they do. The way you dress is essential to your success. The best way to dress, is to dress the way the person youre persuading dresses. Now, if youre a man Im not asking you to cross-dress because youre influencing a person of the female persuasion! The one thing I can tell you that doesnt work and thats to dress like a typical salesperson. Ive trained people who earn in excess of 75,000 a year as 'commission only' salespeople and none of these people dress like a salesperson. They are never smartly dressed and for the most part they look a little on the scruffy side. But that works for them, because it lowers the defence barrier of their prospects who feel they dont need to protect themselves from this person. Most people use whats known as an unconscious hello strategy. This is a signal that is sent out ahead of saying the word hello. Its like a fax machine sending out its high pitched signal. Its looking for a similar reply to see if its friendly. If it finds another fax machine with a similar greeting it will communicate, if not it won't. Its the same with you. I bet you didn't know you have an unconscious strategy for greeting someone, did you?
People are always looking to see if you are a friendly. This means that they have a secret way of using an unconscious type of coding to check instantly whether they like you or not. This useful strategy of recognising and playing back someones unconscious hello will disarm the defence mechanism of virtually anyone youll meet. So how does this work? Watch how people greet each other and youll be fascinated. They have a strategy they use before they say the word hello. For some it could be raising an eyebrow. Other people prefer nodding their heads. Theres a myriad of ways people greet each other unconsciously. This happens a lot even when people dont know each other You have to be able to recognise this fast. Its not something you learn from a book, it takes experiential practice. Once youve mastered the unconscious hello, you play the other persons greeting back to them and like magic - youre a friendly! Once youve greeted someone using this unconscious hello strategy, you are ready to go into the connect phase of Persuasion Equation. That's what you'll discover in the next chapter.
Chapter 4 The Need to Connect

At this stage your goal is to build strong rapport fast. Most people are highly motivated to bond and connect with others to ensure their continued survival. Look at babies for the best example of this. They instantly bond with their mothers. Almost all people love to belong to groups, be a member of something, and be in a love relationship. The power of stories Lets change the subject for a minute or two. In hypnosis the hypnotist will usually go into a trance himself before hypnotising his subject. You may think thats a bit weird until I tell you why. The answer is really simple . . . he knows that by going into a trance youll follow him in. I remember watching a video of the best hypnotherapist that ever lived. His name was Dr. Milton Erickson. He could literally hypnotise people by tapping his index finger in time with the subjects breathing. Then he would slow his finger movements down and the person would go into a trance.
The Magic of Rapport
Anyway, back to the video. Milton had two subjects to hypnotise, one was Mondi. The other person was hard to hypnotise so Dr. Erickson had him watch as he hypnotised Mondi, it wasnt long before the man watching went into a deep trance. Im not suggesting you hypnotise people quite like this, but thats where were heading when we explore the suggestion patterns later. The way to use and learn from Dr. Erickson is to talk about yourself first when you want to connect to another person and they will in turn talk about themselves. The best way to talk about you, is through a story. There are three story formats you can use to bond deeply with another person, the third of which we will explore in this chapter. This third story format is known as the us versus them - the theme of the common enemy. When you look at history, four major crossovers occurred as we evolved. These crossovers were all down to who had the information and who
controlled it. What I mean by crossover is when we, as a human race, crossed over from one type of society to another. When we learned how to speak we formed tribes. You belonged to this tribe, not that tribe. The elders controlled their tribe by the force of their words and the information they held. All knowledge was handed down from father to son, mother to daughter, by the spoken word. These tribes were earliest example of communicating through words the us versus them, strategy. So you can see how this is firmly fixed in our culture. The second crossover Then a breakthrough occurred. We found a way to capture words and set them in stone to preserve knowledge. This was the beginning of organised religion. The scribes wrote the word of God. Every village had one Bible and that was owned by the vicar who wielded his power over his flock (or tribe) depending on your religion. We really hadnt evolved that much, just a touch more sophisticated. The printing press created the third great crossover. Now, with books being printed, people had their own Bibles and didnt need the vicar to tell them how to talk to God. Their liberation through the printed word began the demise of religion around the world. That was the start of politics. Still tribal . . . still slandering off the opposite side. Its the same tune with the same words, except someone else is singing. How can you use this powerfully subtle way of influencing? Simply by aligning yourself with the person youre persuading against their enemy you are bonding together against a common enemy. Take Christianity, without the devil it wouldn't exist. The theme of the common enemy is a powerful place to start the bonding process. Where do you and your buyers or anyone you want to persuade have an enemy in common? Find this and use it early in the persuasion process to get people liking you. The 101% strategy To gain acceptance you can use to 101% strategy. That is, find something about them, the 1% you can agree with and agree with it 100%. This only takes a little practice as most of us in the western world have similar values and beliefs.
Compliance Its human nature to comply with requests from people we like. In this connection phase what youre really after is compliance. If you cant get this, you cant inject yourself into their world. We all like to comply with reasonable requests because it makes us feel good and we know that the other person owes us a small favour when we want it. If youre a parent, you know how difficult it is to say No to your kid. And why do you love your kid? Because he or she reminds you of YOU! Unconsciously automatically we take a shine to people who remind us of ourselves. Be like a mirror Other strategies - for quick bonding - are to mirror various aspects of the person you are persuading. One of them is where you do what they do . . . move when they move, as if they were looking in a mirror. Now this takes practice and lots of it. In my live workshops I get people to copy the other person unknowingly. Ive worked out a nice way of using this by splitting the group into two. One group (Lets call them group B) leaves the room while I instruct the group that stays (group A). Then I invite the group B back in and group A now uses the strategies I showed them whilst the other group were out of the room. The funny thing is group B never gets it. They know somethings happening. They say, after the other person spoke with them, they feel good but dont know why. At this point at the workshop everyone begins to pay close attention. They now know for certain I have something different, something unique and something powerfully effective. After all you only want what works, dont you? Its so surprising that something this simple can have such a profound effect on the way we connect with others, but if you look at two people in love they are doing this all day long. Its as if its programmed into us from birth, part of our natural mind coding. But wait theres more. . . Other methods You can even mirror their facial expressions, they never notice this one. Smile when someone smiles, frown when they frown. In fact, there is a whole science on facial expressions and what they mean, but thats way beyond the scope of this book.
However, you can mirror peoples voice, tone and speed. This also takes time and theres a particular way of practicing this so it becomes as natural as breathing. People understand information at the rate at which they speak, so speak at the same rate and you instantly become their friend, keeping the defend trigger switched to off. Once you've created rapport you can now lead the person you're persuading in the direction you want them to go.
Relaxation and Integration session one The next chapter we look at getting into deep rapport with those you want to influence. This is the first of the brainwave entrainment sessions that are an essential part of your learning fast. You will be reading the script in the next chapter, but it is even better to listen to the recording for the best effect.
Chapter 5 Deep Rapport

If you, like me, understand that people are persuaded by people they like and people they trust, then you will realise that what youre about to read right here in this chapter will cause you to learn, really learn how to bond with people so deeply they not only want to believe in you and learn more about you, they also want to be persuaded by you. And as you sit or lie there reading my words, allowing your eyes to follow each sentence, focusing on what I am writing you can naturally find yourself becoming curious about whats coming next. As that curiosity develops you keep reading to discover interesting aspects of rapport building and more. While youre reading you may begin to feel the feeling of anticipation about what youll be learning. Now, as that anticipation grows inside you youll find the more you have been in the dark the more enlightening a learning may be. So, as you imagine your future becoming more successful, more rewarding, more enjoyable, you can also imagine having more ability in persuasion than ever before. And you recall the model earlier from the perspective of the person being persuaded. It starts with defend in the centre, and then bond at the bottom left. On the bottom right is learn and at the top is acquire You easily recall this is the natural sequence a person goes through when anyone tries to persuade them. Your model of persuasion now fits theirs. It is the equation of persuasion that automatically allows you to get other people to do what you want, when you want them to.
Lets look at your persuasion model. In the centre is reject, because people are always on the alert to reject you and your ideas. Yes but, is the clue that lets you know they are rejecting you. Always keep in mind that you must keep this part of their mind quiet so you get an opportunity to influence with excellence. You move swiftly into connecting with the other person or people by using any of the next ideas. You naturally become aware of how they are holding their body, which side they are placing their weight and you copy that. When they move in a particular way you copy that too. You observe the way they talk and copy that. If they talk loud you copy that for a few seconds and start talking softer. If they talk fast, so do you for a little while and then slow down again. If they use certain words repeatedly you notice that and use them when you speak. If they gesture a lot, so do you, when its your turn to talk, not when its theirs. And you readily recall these ideas when youre with other people and practice them in non-persuasion conversations as well as when you want to persuade. Every time youre listening to another person talking, look at their eyes as they speak. You notice if they look up a lot they are looking at images in their minds. You talk using visual words like: look . . . see... imagine . . . picture this . . . it appears to me . . . brilliant . . . clear . . . colourful . . . envision . . . glance . . . light . . . focus . . . lay eyes on . . .
reveal . . . view . . . symbolic . . . visible . . . vivid . . visualise . . . point of view. So remember to remember to listen for peoples words and recall the words here as you hear me say them to you. When you look at people and see what they do you can imagine yourself copying them. Picture this, you are focusing on them and they say something like It appears to me that there is a brilliant way to persuade people that, once you understand it, its so clear that what used to be dull is now colourful. Can you envision yourself in this situation, having a quick glance at someone noticing the light falling on them? As you lay eyes on this image it reveals things you were never aware of before. Now youre beginning to view persuasion in a more symbolic way allowing the invisible to become visible and vivid perhaps for the first time. Now visualise this as you accept my point of view about how this will easily make you a far better persuader. Some people when you watch them as they talk move their eyes to the side either left and right, right after you ask them a question they are left searching for an answer and as you observe them looking left and right you realise they are hearing sounds in their mind and you start using words like Sounds good to me . . . announce . . . listen . . . hear . . . talk . . . be all ears. . declare . . . harmony . . . whisper . . . quite . . . hush, hush . . . in tune with . . . loud . . . outspoken . . . heard . . . said . . . noisy . . . silent . . . shhhh . . .speak . . . talk . . . tell . . . verbalise . . . softly . . . I hear what youre saying. You may be thinking to yourself that this sounds good to me when I announce that people listen, and really hear you when you talk they become all ears and declare they are in harmony with what you say. Some people whisper in quiet tones secrets that are hush hush that maybe are in tune with others who are loud and outspoken but you heard what they said as they were being noisy you really
want them to be more silent you signal shhh speak to me talk to me tell me, can you verbalise softly so I hear what youre saying . . . The next eye movements you look out for and notice are those when someone looks down usually to their right or your left. They are getting in touch with their emotions, how they feel about something and their sensations about what they are thinking. You always notice the words people use and these people use words like: Grasp. . . get a grip. . . get a hold of. . . I cant handle this. . . catch my drift. . . are you catching on. . . ? feel. . . get in touch. . . firm hold. . . or firm grip. . . get the hang of. . . hanging around. . . got a funny feeling. . . gives me the creeps. . . . gut feeling. . . heated. . . make contact. . . shake on it. . . sense. . . reach out. . . stroke. . . sticky. . . touch base. . . tender. . . warm. . . under the thumb. Youll soon find yourself in the grasp of this learning as you get a grip of what this is all about you can get a hold of the real meaning behind this. You might be thinking I cant handle this, but when you truly catch my drift, catch on, feel this on the inside and get in touch with how this works you begin now to get a firm hold on what Im saying here. I dont have to make you get the hang of these or keep you standing around for easier understanding. Hearing words like this from this point forward triggers an automatic reaction in you to understand how they think and use words like these when talking to them. These people use internal and external feeling words to describe their reality and you easily pick up on these and repeat back similar words to them. And in the future you may meet people you find different from the ones I just described. So as these people use words that could easily fit into any one or all of
the categories I spoke of. You pay special attention because they will often use words like . . . Analyse, balance, be conscious of, one does, one should, call to mind, organise, logical, comprehend, understand, relate to, come to mind, decide, consider, complex, evaluate, weigh up the consequences, plan, process, learn about, convincing, question, sort out, remember, think, study, quantify, uncertain, judge, informed, scan, sequence, Spend time and analyse these words and find the right balance for you. Always remember to be conscious of listening to words like... one does, one should, call to mind, etc. Find the time now to organise these categories in your mind so you can see the logic as you comprehend, understand and relate to what Im saying. Later these will come to mind when you decide to use them. Always consider how complex people are and evaluate for yourself which category people fall into. And when you hear these words you immediately recall that these people are defending themselves by hiding behind words you cant touch. They use unspecified words to describe their reality. You always remember to use these words as well as any visual words you recall from earlier. These are the people who at first can seem a little resistant until you skilfully connect with them by copying their reserved-ness and taking your time to explain in words they understand so you realise how easily they can and are persuaded by you. As you become more and more appealing to people your persuasion power increases and you become more like the people you are persuading so they think, believe and feel you are just like them and they cant resist themselves, thats why copying them is so brilliant.
And now as you imagine yourself in conversations with people you see them smiling back at you enjoying your company as they look at you with wonderment. You listen to what they are saying as well as what they are not saying. You hear their choice of words, you stay in harmony with them as you talk, speaking like they are speaking, with the same tonality, the same speed as they speak, repeating back their types of words. You begin to feel the way they feel as you touch on their model of the world. You grasp their reality and put yourself in step with the way they express themselves. Its almost as if you are transferring yourself inside their mind so you make total sense of where they are coming from. You surround you and them in a pink or gold bubble. You do this to become intimate with their feelings and get in touch with their dominant emotions. The more you remember to do this with everyone you want to persuade the more you get what it is you want from them. You love to persuade people, you love using your persuasion skills everywhere you go and during the time youre with other people you effortlessly persuade them into giving you what you want. You achieve more of what you want from life now as you begin to remember what you have imagined your future to be Ill be silent for a while, while you visualise your success using these strategies. Excellent . . . I know this is powerfully informative and I also know you are already beginning to notice that your visualisations are becoming clearer and as they do you find yourself easily adding enthusiasm as you improve your ability to stay positively focused on your future causing any negativity to fade away, vanishing like a puff of smoke as you keep in mind your good feelings about your pleasurable triumphs and accomplishments youre having more of what it is you want in life now
When it comes to your future the best way to predict it is to talk about it persuasively to yourself, this persuasion model works on you too. You make friends with your other than conscious mind, that part of you that is mostly outside of your awareness. You connect with what has been described as your full potential self and you use nice tones when you speak inside your mind about all of those wonderful things you want in your life now as a result of developing your persuasion skills and abilities. You talk to your closest friends only about where you are headed and how good your life is becoming. You feel gratitude for what you already have and the message from your unconscious . . . is get is more like that please . . . You constantly stretch your persuasion muscles each time you talk to someone using these ideas. You are so pleased with yourself now because you are always getting what you want in all ways. Now as we move to the next area of persuasion you begin to talk about yourself by explaining who you are and why you are here talking to them at this time. Stories allow people to trust you in a heartbeat. Its a form of self-disclosure that lets people see who you are in real life. Its what makes you human to them and theyll begin to treat you like a friend. Who you are, means what you stand for, your values, and your beliefs. These are just like the person youre persuading so they like you even more. You use your storytelling to motivate, persuade, influence and connect with other people. Your storytelling works for you to establish trust and connect instantly favourable emotionally.
The why you are here is the part of your story that lets others know why you do what it is you do and the difference you make to peoples lives. You could demonstrate how you were wronged in the past and how you made good. You could set yourself up as the ordinary guy who was reluctant but became a hero. Other less skilled people try to persuade without these kinds of stories, but you always remember to use them to capture peoples hearts and convince them you are trustworthy. As you tell your story you also talk about a common enemy. A common enemy is one where you and they form an alliance against someone, something or a set of circumstances you both are against. The story lines, the hometown boy makes good, the reluctant hero and the us versus them combined make for a powerful you. And as people listen to you, you engage them, mesmerise them and hold them spellbound with your wonderful stories. Your conscious mind might already have some ideas of where you will use this while your unconscious mind handles the job of doing it correctly. Kelvins story Here is an actual example of a true story I wrote for one of my clients. In 2002 I had my own successful business working in and around London as an IT consultant. Although the driving was a bit of a pain at times, life was pretty good for me. Work came easy as I was with a specialist IT Company. All I had to do was show up, troubleshoot and I got paid. Okay, I admit people labelled me as a geek, but I didnt mind because of the money I earned. And I was living in London where the night life was great. When I wasnt working I would start the day with a visit to the gym for a good work out, which gave me the excuse to party until late.
Weekends I would meet up with my girlfriend Mandy in Dorset. I love being with her and by the sea. I had the best of both worlds. I love snorkelling and windsurfing so my plans are to move down to Bournemouth. Life couldnt have been better, I had everything I wanted. Mandy and I loved to go out to the country. We love walking and eating in nice places. One town we really like is Gillingham in Dorset. Theres a place there we visit a lot. One night I was there on my own having fun talking to a friend after the pubs had closed. The next thing I knew I was on the ground... dazed and in pain. I was hit from behind. The force of the blow caused me to spiral around and down to the ground injuring my knee, arm and head. When I opened my eyes I saw my friend tackling someone to the ground. It must have been the guy who hit me. I went over to help. It was then I noticed blood dripping on the guy we were struggling with. I realised this was more serious than I originally thought. I felt my hand shaking... my head throbbing... I must be going into shock. My Army training told me I didnt have much time. My reaction was to call the police. Lucky for me they were in Shaftesbury, a nearby town, and were soon on the scene. They quickly arrested the thug. I was rushed to the nearest hospital, blue lights flashing and everything. We got to the hospital fast. I had 15 stitches to the gaping hole in my head. They kept me in for observations and stuff and I went back to Mandy the following day and told her what happened. She was visibly shaken that this could happen to me in a sleepy north Dorset town. The following year, around March time, I became aware of a throbbing in my hand
and arm, and like a typical man I ignored it. But it kept getting worse. By September I lost the use of my right arm and the pain was excruciating. It was as if my arm did not belong to me anymore. I couldn't think clearly. I couldn't sleep. I panicked. Medical tests drew a blank... there was no help from the NHS. They told me: I just have to live with it. I felt like they had thrown me away like a piece of rubbish. I was distraught. What could I do? What was going on? Who could I turn to? I found myself saying Help! Out from the brain fog a question started to form, Well, who else can help? What else can help? I refused to accept that medical science had not progressed to the point where I could get my health back. Then I thought of the internet. I was desperate... I'd try anything... And I wanted my health back, no matter what the
cost. Complementary health treatments were totally new to me. So I explored my options. After trying massage . . . physiotherapy. . . chiropractics . . . Reiki healing . . . osteopathy . . . acupuncture - I finally came across a little known treatment called AcuScen. After the first session I just felt a little better about myself. I could move my neck and back a little bit better. I decided to go for a course of treatment. As, I continued every week the pain got less now Im even sleeping at night. I remember getting up one morning and grabbing the keys. With my bad arm. WOW ! This treatments really working. Three treatments later, I write, with my right hand that doctors had said would never get better, and it was... getting better. There I was, holding my keys... amazing. So now I knew there was hope, I knew I could beat this. All that searching had borne fruit. But I was not out of the woods yet. I started with gentle exercises, the pain in my arm and back went away with regular AcuScen treatments.
Soon I was down the gym, doing gentle exercises to start with, and then as my health slowly returned I was able to do more. Each time I suffered a relapse, I could turn to AcuScen. As my health improved I thought... I can learn how to do this... how difficult can it be? There must be other people like me who dont know about AcuScen. But once they knew how effective it is, they would jump at the chance to use it. My work in IT was gone, so maybe I could train and study the body and Holistic therapies. There were many reminders as to why I preferred computing to body bits, big long words, Latin names, things that make your mind scramble. Its amazing how the body works and how it compensates and copes, which we have labelled as stress or disease. I made the leap from IT guru, with the last of my savings to complementary therapist, specialising in AcuScen Power treatments for pain relief and opened the doors for treatments in July 2009. Im almost fully recovered, and well enough to be able to help others who are suffering, have aches and pains or chronic stiffness. Mandy and I plan to get married soon. She now gives me regular AcuScen treatments that help me cope with life as I pace myself on my own road back to health. So, how did you feel while you were reading this story? Where you right there with him? The framework behind this story is The Heros Journey. It is THE most powerful framework any story can have. Learning and using this one story idea can and will transform your life.
The more knowledge you have on persuasion the more successful you will be in life. Developing your skill is an on-going part of your life. While you perfect these skills as you go youre going to discover a lot of other interesting aspects of persuasion that we can work with together and as you get this unconsciously now itll be a lot of fun to continue to put this together in your mind. As your knowledge of people increases, your wonder deepens.
Now as you focus your attention on connecting with other people you can zoom in on their facial expressions. Its as if you have a magnifying glass in each eye that can detect minute changes in skin tone, lighter or darker. The rate at which peoples eyes blink, if its normal you can copy this pattern. You notice when their pupils dilate, when they get bigger it usually means they are becoming even more interested in what youre saying. Notice their facial expressions and from time to time copy these, especially when they smile. Match the other persons breathing patterns. When they are talking they are breathing out, you do this too. No one will ever know what you are doing. Be observant, notice everything about them. Use your peripheral vision to see what all of their body is doing and covertly copy them. Its just like youve become one with them, but you are still you with your outcome clearly in mind. You are the same, but a part of you remains at a distance because you want to lead them in the direction you want them to go. You naturally start to move them into what it is you want them to believe about what they should do for you. Youve built up trust as the other person opens up to you and reveals things about what they are looking for in this situation. You listen for and hear them talk about their desires and you line yourself up to be the answer to the problems. Its as if they have asked you a question about what action they should take to solve a problem or reach a goal. Every word they say that indicates what they want you easily recall and play back to them, only this time you are in their picture of what they want. Its just like you are the answer. They cant have what they truly want without you. You have them imagine their future without this problem or with what it is they want and need. You establish your authority, your expertise on this subject and your
proven way of getting them what they desire. You inject yourself and your ideas into their mind. The secret of joy in persuasion is contained in one word - excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it. You not only already know how to persuade with excellence ,you know how to persuade with the best intentions for everyone concerned and that means you and the other person. You now begin to move them in the direction of accepting your ideas and suggestions. They feel truly motivated to act on what you recommend as you are like a trusted friend and advisor. You ask them to do what it is youve asked them to do for the reasons they are just beginning to come up with themselves that compel them to completely accept your ideas and act on what you are suggesting.
Chapter 6 Mastering Rapport

Before reading this chapter be sure you have listened to the to the first of the recorded relaxation and integration sessions use the drawing below and see how many ways of instantly bonding with others you can remember. Write one strategy in each of the circles, use abbreviations if you like. You should easily come up with eight ways of bonding instantly with others. List below the ones you have already used successfully. Also write how and where you used each strategy and the results you achieved.
1 ______________________________________________________ 2_______________________________________________________ 3_______________________________________________________ 4_______________________________________________________ 5_______________________________________________________ 6_______________________________________________________ 7_______________________________________________________ 8_______________________________________________________
Instantaneous Connections
The Unconscious hello People send out a signal ahead of saying the word hello and they are looking for recognition from others. They may or may not know the other person, but they are looking for a friendly response. If they get it they will follow their initial signal with a smile or something similar. For example, someone nods their head in your direction, you nod back, they smile, you smile, and now, to them, you are a friend. Shifting weight People hold their body a certain way. Some people when they sit on a chair thats comfortable may move their body to one side or another. When you act like their mirror, they become more receptive to you below their conscious awareness. Moving parts People will cross their arms and legs or uncross them. They may have particular ways of placing their legs when sitting, or putting their hands on their laps, etc. Copying them as they do it as if you were a mirror they are looking at, is great for connecting. If you want to be more subtle, when they fold their arms, you cross your legs, and vice versa. Gestures If they move their hands while they talk to express themselves more fully, you do the same when you talk. Visually oriented people tend to do this kind of animation, because it makes them more engaging and they love to be the centre of attention. (Never copy their gestures while they are talking.) Others rub their legs when they talk, copy anything they do while they talk. Matching their descriptive words People lean on certain words to describe their sensory reality. These are visual words, sounding words and internal or external feeling words. Also there is another group of words that may not describe in sensory- rich terms, but nonetheless seem to for these people. Usually they are more analytical in nature than the other three. These are what I like to call non-descriptive words. On the next page write out as many of these words as you can recall in each of the categories.
Visual words _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ Sound words _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ Internal and external feeling words _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ Non-descriptive words _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ Now see if you can create one paragraph using a combination of these words starting with visual, then sound, then internal or external words. _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ If you like to people watch try this next fun way of learning about others. Go to your favourite place to people watch and listen to their language. Listen for these categories of words they use and write them down as they speak. I did this recently. One of my favourite places is the local pub. I was listening to a loud woman speaking in slow deliberate tones. Here are the words I wrote down. As you read them see if you can tell which category of words she was using. Upsets you . . . taken aback . . . layabout . . . relaxed . . . he can take it . . . take it on the chin . . . how does that grab you? . . . I went into a restaurant . . . lets get out of here . . . leg it . . . hes just come into the room . . . lets go out tonight . . . are you coming over tonight? . . . If you dont feel like it . . . We can do something else . . . kill yourself laughing . . . how can we get out of this mess? This is mainly external movement, with some spatial words thrown in. Spatial words are: Under, from above, beneath, over the top, from amongst, etc. They are feeling words, but describe relationships from one place to another. If you find someone using these from among the many other words they use, copy these too. There are other words people use to describe their reality like realise, discover, became aware of, it just dawned on me, etc. These are another way of using visual words and they can also be copied. As you become aware of these you realise they are just as easy to copy. As soon as the realisation hits you that these are some of their favourite expressions you can easily copy them. Speed of speech Most people speak at the same rate as they comprehend information coming from others. If you talk at the same rate at which they speak, they not only understand you, but instantly bond with you because guess what? Youre just like them. You have even more in common! People who use visual type words have a tendency to speak faster than others. The next is the sound oriented person as well as the non-descriptive person. The slow talkers are those that have to get in touch with their feelings before talking about them.
Interestingly, when using paragraphs that go from visual to feeling words, slowing down for the feeling words makes for greater impact. Thats why practicing this paragraph is so brilliant.
The Lullaby Effect

There are many ways to create a lullaby effect in other people. But first lets explore why we want to do this in the first place. The critical/rational mind of another is always seeking to reject you, while protecting itself. Sometimes this is inappropriate. Especially when you are persuading someone to do something that is in their best interest as well as in yours. Lets say you have a phenomenal product that the other person has already shown an interest in. Then you want to quieten the critical, judgemental mind so the emotional mind can have what it desires. By practising the earlier paragraph going from visual words, through to sounding words to feeling words you create this effect. Heres an example. As you continue reading these words you see on the page in front of you... you can imagine how you can use these in your everyday conversations. And as you hear yourself talking like this, and the effect you have on the other person as they listen to you talk, you can begin to feel really good on the inside now that they are also coming to grips with the way you make sense to them. This makes them warm to you, as they get a fuzzy sensation on the inside. Okay, can you stand back from this and see how it works. I hope so because now its your turn: _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________
Buy a notebook and practice this every day for one week. All you need to do is write two paragraphs a day. Just for fun, read one of these out to a friend and watch how they react. When you read it to them talk slowly as if you were talking in a rhythm. Have the speed of your speech paced at 45 beats a minute. Thats the rate at which a hypnotist will speak. If you want to perfect this (and I suggest you do) buy a metronome. I have a Korg metronome it cost just 19.95 and is worth every penny.
The Three Story Lines

The hometown boy makes good . . . the us versus them and the reluctant hero. Each story is powerful in its own right and creates a lullaby effect in the listener. Stories are part of our lives... listen to people talk, they all have a history (hisstory) to tell. We are mesmerised by a good story. We all love to fantasize about being in or having an adventure of some sort. Where in your life have you made something good out of a bad situation? Write it here if you can think of a time in your life when you turned yourself around. _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ Next the theme of the common enemy. Governments use this one all the time. We use it if weve been flashed by a speed camera. Families use it. Husbands and wives use it. People getting divorced justify the use of it. Who is the enemy of the person or group of people you are persuading? Can you make it your enemy as well? Write out your ideas: _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ This one is one of my favourites as it uses whats known as the Heros Journey. The Matrix, Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter all start with the reluctant hero. When in your life were you this hero, where you got drawn into an event, a business, a career, a love affair reluctantly at first and then you became the star of the show? Write your thoughts below: _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________ Now if you really want to powerfully engage people combine the three stories into one. This may take a little work, but wow is it ever worth doing. Ive used these stories with great effect on occasion. Lets see you in action. _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________
Facing the Elements

On the face of it, the face may not seem so important to you. However just looking at the eyes gives you valuable clues as weve already seen. These clues are about how people process information through their senses. There are even more clues about how people are thinking. For example if people are looking below the centre of their eyes, it may mean they are reflecting on something negative. On the other hand if they are looking up they are usually happy. Try this yourself. See if you can feel unhappy with your eyes looking up. Another interesting fact is that the eyes get bigger when people get excited and smaller when they are beginning to distance themselves from you. Please take into account that when its dark the pupils will get bigger and when its bright they get smaller. There is more, so much more that the face reveals. However, you can also notice skin colour changes. These indicate a difference in their thinking. You can also tell if someone is lying, this is best demonstrated live as its a bit complex to describe in writing because there are so many variables. But it can be shown. You can practice copying peoples facial expressions. This one always works without anyone being able to detect itit is copying someones smile. Go to a cafe so you can practice this. Select someone a little way away from you, watch what they do, imagine yourself doing it, then copy them. Especially when they smile. Recently I watched Derren Brown do this in a cafe. He literally copied the movements of another man for 20 minutes. Towards the end he started making different movements to the man... the man began to copy Derren. This is commonly known as pacing and leading. You pace (copy) first for a period of time, then lead (see if they follow) and see if they copy your movements. Soon Derren started a series of yawns... the man copied and then went to sleep. Derren went up to him, whispered some suggestions in his ear. The next scene you see is this man stealing a television set. Amazing the power of what we are exploring here, isnt it? Pacing and leading at this level does take some practice, but if youve listened to the light and sound session that goes with this chapter youll find yourself wanting to pace people anyway. And if you love what you do, it will never seem like work. Go out and play with this, youll be amazed. As a quick side note: This playbook is primarily focused on gaining rapport through pacing another person.
Chapter 7 The Need to Learn

The best strategy to inject you into someones world is to use your expert power. This persuades the other person without them realising. When we were small children, in order to survive we took our lead from the authority of grownups. These take the form of parents, teachers and even our older brothers and sisters.
Scientists tell us our first six years of growing up we are in a kind of hypnotic trance. This naturally means accepting the suggestions of people who have power over us. These authority figures ruled our lives by taking on an authoritative stance. So if we do this we fly
The Effect of an Authority Figure
under the persuasion radar of someone were persuading. Here we can use suggestions powerfully, where they will meet little to no resistance. Well cover suggestion patterns later in this book. Create anticipation As everyone you meet still has the emotions of a six year old child, they are all still eager to learn something new. Don't believe me? One of the biggest industries in the world is the news industry. How long can you go without watching, hearing or reading the news? Soap operas work the same way, they hook you on anger so you have to watch the end. Here's what they do to keep you watching: They start a scene and at the height of curiosity, they switch to a new scene. When that one reaches a peak of curiosity they switch the scene again. They do this around four times, then they go back to the first scene and repeat the process. This is a form of hypnosis called nested loops. They are short loops within loops that keep you glued to your screen. Clever huh?
Be the authority in their world
So when you go into this phase of your persuasion, unfold gradually and use open loops like: I'll show you that in a minute. Another useful method to gain compliance and maintain authority is to find excuses to
keep going out of their sight and coming back in to see them again. The more you do this, the more familiar you become to them. And they are getting to like you faster than they normally would. By the way this same technique is the calling card of 'pick up artists.' They take a woman to several different places in a very short space of time, so they fall for them quicker. Also, show good manners when you are persuading, as this sets up respect and reciprocity from them. Here you are creating comfort, trust, compatibility and like-ability. How's that for multitasking ! ! The Four Different Marketplaces Lets change gears here and talk about authority from a different perspective. Many years ago I came across a book called The Quadrant Solution. This book revealed through a story, the four marketplaces a business can be in. These four are distinctly different in their approach to the consumer. These are how the consumer sees you and your company. If you get your marketing message or selling approach out of alignment with the marketplace your potential customer thinks you are in, then they cant understand you. Worse still, no one buys from you if they dont understand you. So here are the four quadrants that make up the entire market: Quadrant one is the new and innovative breakthroughs like the internet boom and the software revolution and any new inventions that havent really caught on. It could even be technology that people dont yet understand like solar panels. In this marketplace you have an inexperienced buyer who does not need the salesperson after they own the product. The salesperson is a super strong closer who only gets one, maybe two chances of closing the sale. You can put the pick-up artists in this quadrant as they are using new technology to seduce unsuspecting (inexperienced) woman for a one night stand. In the next quadrant, the buyer is still inexperienced as we are dealing with new technology here as well. The difference is, this new technology requires the seller
to be around after the initial transaction. The seller teaches the buyer how to use what they bought. This could be complicated new software for example. Its a technical sale with the appropriate backup. Consultants of all types reside in this marketplace. In the first two of these quadrants the sellers easily assume authority. This is because the buyer is inexperienced. It makes it easier for the salesperson to assume authority because he has more experience. Experts in any field are natural authority figures. You can easily see doctors bowing to the experience of pharmaceutical reps. These reps are always in quadrants one and two. In both three and four marketplaces youll have experienced buyers who have bought this type of product or service before. The only difference is mainly that the buyer does need the salesperson after the initial purchase. The salesperson in quadrant three is the champion for the buyer. In industrial sales, also repeat sales like office equipment, the buyer relies on extra special service from the seller. Here the buyer cant tell who the seller works for. In other words the buyer thinks they work for his or her company. They are usually in a close relationship that lasts for years. The authority here can come from the salesperson knowing the buyers company well and the buyers future needs when he can make timely recommendations. In quadrant four we have the commodity marketplace. The price and or convenience, the 'come and get it' approach to selling. In quadrant two the theme is customisation, in this quadrant its take it or leave it. Supermarkets, pubs, corner shops, retail outlets, all belong in this marketplace. The salesperson is little more than an order taker. If you are an exceptional salesperson in this marketplace then you are more than an order taker, but for the most part youll find badly trained, inexperienced salespeople here. In quadrant four the buyer does not need the seller after the sale unless there is a fault with the product. Authority comes from product knowledge across a wide range of choices for the consumer. Youll see this in electronic shops like Currys or Dixons.
How to find out what people really want People buy on emotion and back up their choice with a logical alibi. If you dont believe me come up with a purely logical reason for buying music. Logic and emotion are worlds apart. If you use only emotion youll get people regretting their decisions later. If you use only logic then youll seldom get what you really want from others. Persuaders who understand and use emotion to their advantage go miles further than those who dont. Whats more, people rarely want to tell you their real motives for doing anything in case you take advantage of them. Thats when they protect and defend themselves. And we don't want to trigger that emotion, do we? So as cool, calm and collected persuaders we fly under their radar screen and ask questions that reveal their emotional reasons for accepting what were offering without them suspecting anything. Its as if we are hiding right out in the open. We camouflage our questions in such a way that people are not only glad to answer them, but it strengthens our connections and keeps us as the authority figure. You may have heard that whoever is asking the questions is in control. That means youre the authority and they are complying. Wow! Killing two birds with one stone or what? Now I want you to stop for just a minute and start to imagine the kind of power you could soon be having when you know how to get peoples real motives for doing what it is you want them to do. It could be to fall in love with you. While you may not think thats possible it is. All of our subjective experiences, those internal pictures, words we say to ourselves and our feelings, have structure. That structure is as real as any objective thing, like a building. Its real to the person youre persuading. That means if you can uncover that persons subjective reasons (emotional and logical) you can easily persuade them If you are in any kind of selling this is music to your ears . . . isnt it? Imagine being able to persuade people at will, anytime you want them to do something they do it. Well, that was the promise of this book title. Before I reveal this amazing strategy to you, I want you to think about why you are reading this book. Whats happening in your life right now thats prompted you to pick up a book on advanced persuasion skills? And as you think about
what is important about that to you, let me ask you this: Ultimately, what would having that do for you in your life, if you had it? You see the reason I bought that up is I wanted to lock into your mind what it is youre searching for and what it is youre finding here, so that, as we move forward together, youll discover exactly what it is youve been longing for that now you can have right here with me, I can make that happen. For me its really nice to be able to share these kinds of things with the people I meet through my book and in person. While I wrap up this chapter, I want you to keep in mind that your goal in this phase is to maintain your likeability. Next, establish your authority in their world, demonstrate expertise. Then make powerful recommendations and if you know how to use suggestion patterns of persuasion start using them here to inject yourself into their world. Their picture should now have you firmly in it. The two are now one, you and their outcome. In other words, you become the essence of what it is they desire. Once you've achieved these things throughout your presentation you can go to the last stage, getting them to accept and agree to what it is you want them to do. Just in case you didnt understand the emotional needs section, reread this chapter after youve finished the entire book. I did it to you by way of demonstration. Its no good learning from anyone about anything if they cant clearly show you that they can do it. Now after the next chapter Ill show you something you could never work out for yourself. This one skill will help you close more sales, get more of the things you want in life and get people to give you what you want. Go to the Relaxation and Integration session two before reading on.
Chapter 8 The Science of Compliance

All of persuasion is aimed at getting the other person to comply with your wishes. Professor Robert Cialdini made a comprehensive study of compliance. His book on the subject is called Influence. Its an interesting book, but despite reading it over and over and listening to it on tape, I still found the concepts difficult to put into practice. With that said, I do have a light and sound session on the forces of compliance in the next session. My aim, as always, is to make the complicated simple for you to grasp quickly and run with these ideas. Cialdini cited six principles of compliance... here Ive expanded it to eleven. The more the merrier, right? All of these can be used throughout your persuasion opportunities. The strategies in this section and in the light and sound session are designed to get you accepted first so you can get compliance thereafter. Here is the first of the eleven strategies of compliance and my interpretations for your immediate use. Social beliefs We are conditioned as children to believe certain things... these form the basis of our society. Right and wrong, good bad, dont break the law, do as I say, money is the root of all evil, black versus white and prejudices of all kinds. Selfish desires, greed, and its opposite, doing something for the greater good. Politicians thrive on these social beliefs and create the common enemy theme out of them. One way to use this to your advantage is the old saying everything happens for a reason. So if the person youre persuading has had a bad experience with someone like you, the best strategy is to say, I believe everything happens for a reason, its a good thing we are talking today. You could even suggest that, there are no accidents in life, dont you agree? We got together today for a reason and that reason youre just becoming aware of now as we speak. And you are realising how important it is to move forward with your life in the direction you want to go. Can you see how this would work? What this means is that yours and my social beliefs can and are being manipulated. However, doing something like this in persuasion is fine if you want the best for your client as well as yourself.
There are 10 more of these compliance strategies that automatically get people to go along with you. That is the subject of the next phase in our Persuasion equation sequence. Here our goal is to get a strong connection, then go to injecting your ideas into the mind of another. Thats what social influence strategies help you do to. They offer the bigger picture, an overview, a map of the territory youll be navigating your way through. As you continue to reading these words, taking in this information, allowing it to make sense to you ,it causes you to begin to feel the anticipation of discovering the next step in the persuasion process. And as you feel that anticipation to know more you can recall all that youve learned so far. Bringing it to mind makes you feel more confident about your persuasion skills. And as you feel that confidence, it begins to grow into an expectation, bringing with it excitement that you are learning, really learning, new and powerful skills that will make you more popular. They will make you more powerful. They will also make you more money. Plus bring you all of the things you want in life. Now are you starting to see how having more of this information can benefit you in so many ways? With that said I think youre going to love part two because there are so many ways you can get others to willingly go along with you, and more importantly theyll believe it was their idea all along. There are a number of elegant strategies for you to use, put into immediate action, seeing fast results as your persuasion ability grows beyond your wildest expectations. Ive discovered eleven major themes of gaining compliance from others. You can use any combination to manoeuvre - - engineer - - move forward with kindness to get the best result for yourself and the person you are persuading. If it doesnt work for you and them, find someone where it will and your will grows stronger as you set your intention powerfully to help others, because what you give to others you give to yourself. Youll discover, become aware of and learn about these eleven global strategies. They will guide you as you use the persuasion equation to move past any resistance, defence or rejection. Obviously you move into phase one using the rapport skills you embraced earlier. There is no particular order to the 11 strategies. Although liking is crucial to your success in persuading others. The more people identify with you and feel they
know you through your story of who you are and why you do what you do, the more they allow you to influence them. Your likability factor increases every day, whether you like it or not. Liking develops under conditions of cooperation. And thats where were headed next. You find yourself cooperating with others first so then they cooperate with you. Being private in public, upfront and honest, open and receptive, throughout your time with others demonstrates the next strategy. . . consistency. Imagine yourself experiencing other people going along with your suggestions . . . your ideas . . . your wishes . . . and see them loving doing what you want them to. Now well move on to the Compliance strategy known as consistency . . . Your consistent manner, your consistent behaviour, your consistent way of being, increases the comfort others feel when they are around you. People love your personality, because your consistency creates integrity and brings with it the assurance you are the right person to be influenced by. Which leads us smoothly to the next strategy . . . compatibility. Being compatible is desirable as it brings with it trust and friendship as your social beliefs match theirs. This suggests to them you are like them, because social beliefs are amongst the strongest principles that get people to do what you want. People believe you have their best interests at heart and that forces you to do what is best for both them and you. What goes around comes around and we now move around to the next strategy, reciprocity. A reciprocal relationship is the foundation of friendship. Always keep in mind that both liking and compatibility can be increased by doing small favours and showing good manners. Together with courtesy these make others feel obliged to return these favours, and doing so makes them feel good. The next strategy is the one of social proof. In our democracy, going against society and questioning commonly held beliefs are not good moves. The theme of finding someone to blame that everyone can agree on lets people off the hook. If you use this compliance strategy by saying everyone knows its not your fault, its like taking away a
curse and giving someone their freedom back, knowing they are not to blame for their circumstances. Its the common enemy the Us versus Them, which casually takes us towards the next principle of conditioning and association. We are conditioned early in life and our beliefs form as a result of associating that conditioning to certain things. We are told not to trust strangers. Salespeople can be seen as strangers, so reposition yourself as an advisor and trusted friend. Use what you are learning to side step being thought of as a salesperson. Certain stimuli are recognised only by the other-than-conscious mind of the person you are persuading. You now look like them, sound like them, act like them and bypass the critical part of their mind so they trust and respect you as an authority figure. And that is the subject of our next rule. You quickly, easily, and effortlessly become the authority in their world by first accepting their world so they then accept yours. It doesnt matter how long it takes you to accept their world and have them realise that you have make this your number one priority. Authority instructs, authority informs, authority takes control, and leads people where it wants them to go. Everything in the world is sold to us partly on authority People rely on expertise in our high-tech world. People give obedience to the authority figures in their lives because of their early associations with parents, teachers and wise councillors of all kinds. We naturally move onto. . . the next category of compliance, that of association. Association links favourable feelings towards you with what you are offering. This is known as anchoring. Pavlov did this with his dogs. Ringing a bell when he fed them. . . linking the bell to their food. You can do this by asking . . . about a time when they absolutely had to have something. What did that feel like when you were so compelled? Feel that feeling again now, the feeling of going for it. . . . When you do that you have linked that feeling to you. Then say: now as you feel that, allow it to create a filter with which to filter in what Im about to say to you so the conclusion is easy, simple and automatic.
The next powerful compliance strategy is that of core drives within all of us. These drives are the basic needs of our species. Normally operating outside of our awareness, these drives dominate many of our actions and appealing to these drives is very powerful and goes undetected. The drives are the need to fight, and stand up for oneself against injustice, or to take flight, to run away, regroup, and fight another day. Food, the drive to sustain life. Food is a very subtle motivator. Take a person you are persuading some food or out to eat. Special bonding occurs when you eat together. The drive to reproduce, sex. . . no one has enough sex they always want more. Using your sexuality to seduce someone into doing what you want is also something they hugely enjoy. Everyone wants more prestige, power, status, money, and sex. Something scary equals flight. Something that implies violence, like the us versus them strategy, equals fight. Something filling or fulfilling like showing someone that what they suspected all along is true, equals the drive for food and something satisfying. Pleasurable, desirable and sexual equals reproduction. . . use all four of these and like magic, a person is persuaded. Lets move forward to the next compliance strategy . . . scarcity. Rare, scarce, and similar qualities have more value for most people. The grass is always greener syndrome is something everyone knows. Wanting what we cant have is common to almost everyone. No one wants to miss out on a once in a lifetime opportunity. Missed opportunities are stories people are always hearing about. The principle of scarcity appeals to peoples greed .Give honest, plausible reasons why what you have is scarce. Give a reason and gain compliance. The reason why is so potent to persuasion. . . it could be your reason or theirs for doing something now. . . this bypasses the rational mind and accelerates the process. Use the word because. . . in your explanation to get persuasion. Because we have a limited supply, because we have a limited amount of time we can do this for you. Because we have a price increase next week.
Your because can extend to exclusivity or rarity. These are all powerful examples of how to make scarcity work and easily gain compliance as you use reasons why in every persuasion opportunity. The next strategy to include in your weapons of mass persuasion is the power of hopes and dreams. Dreams coming true can drive decisions and actions. The quest for the things you wish and hope for, what you want to become, hats you want to have. The compelling nature of hope overrides risk and fear, hope for happiness, success, love and wealth. With high hopes we go for it . . . pleasure drives the brain into having more of the things we desire. The present isnt permanent, theres always a better way, the quest for success, achievement and acceptance by others. We wish for better health, more time, financial independence. We hope to avoid our fears and attain our goals and ambitions. These are all strong motivators for action. Motivations and desires Imagine you are climbing a childs slide. As you go up, rung by rung, youre finding out the bigger reasons, the greater desires, until you reach the top desire they have and then you enjoy sliding down the slide to find what their biggest desire means to them. Discovering the dominant emotional motivations that move people to action is very powerful. People want what they want for their reasons, not yours. Trying to persuade someone to do something entirely for your own reasons, not theirs will always come back to haunt you. Because you receive what you give, what goes around comes around. Use this powerful information for the good of all concerned and not only will you be more successful, youll have the satisfaction knowing youve done something great in this world. You only deserve when you serve, in fact the word deserve is made up of two Latin words, de and serves, which mean, from service. What you are about to learn, really learn, is a way to serve people better than most other people on this planet. You in turn will deserve more than most people on this planet and thats exactly what youll have when you use the information youre hearing here to capture peoples attention as you talk with them. Listening to them, youll get a
tremendous response from others as you learn to powerfully persuade other people to do what you want them to do. As soon as you can in the persuasion process, discover why the other person is here with you today. Asking the question WHY causes three things to happen. The second is that you are attempting to indirectly get another person to do something. Like the advert says, why not try our delicious coffee? This is a crude attempt at persuasion. Like the command, why dont you close the door? Its so obvious that you are trying to get the other person to do something they may not want to do. Now you know this, stop using it if you are. The first reason is that the word WHY makes the other person justify what they are doing, or have done. Heres what I mean: Why were you late? Why cant you ever do as I say? Why dont you ever do any work around here? All these put the other person on the defensive. Not good. However, there is one time when you want to use the word why, and thats when you want the other person to justify themselves as being with you now in this current persuasion opportunity. When you ask why are we here today? They have to justify their position, and guess what? Theyll actually persuade you to stay and listen to them. There are many ways to ask the WHY question without sounding confrontational. Here are some examples: If youre in business you might say: Our marketing department is always trying to find out how they can be of better service to the people who contact our business, so can I just ask you, why did you decide to meet with me today? If you get a flippant answer like: I just saw your advert. Reply with: I know, you and I see many adverts every day, but we dont respond to all of them, only those that interest us the most, tell me, whats going on in your life right now that prompted you to contact us at this time? Notice the use of the term you and I, thats done deliberately to take away any pressure to answer this question. Also, we are being respectful and understanding of the other person. Whatever answer they give you - you move up to the next rung of the ladder we spoke of earlier with this question. Okay, thats interesting, so whats important about? (Now repeat the answer exactly as they said it to you). Notice here that you will be using what I call verbal expanders that soften what
you are saying. Its as if youre their best friend and totally engaged in what they are saying. People rarely get listened to at this level, but as soon as they realise they have a captive audience in you - theyll talk for as long as you want them to. Verbal expanders are words that are designed to get people to expand on what they are saying. These include: uh, uh. . . okay . . . thats interesting. . . tell me about that . . . I like that . . . tell me more . . . oh really? . . . I hadnt thought of it that way . . . go on . . . is that everything? . . . yep . . . I hear what youre saying . . . As you listen to these words you integrate this now and it becomes a part of your on-going behaviour and you feel really good applying this. As you speak, you use this powerfully and easily capture peoples attention when its your turn to talk. You get a tremendous response as people are mesmerised when you speak, and you get this unconsciously. Now lets go to the next part of this sequence. After that, you ask them whats important about (their first answer). You obviously concentrate on the next answer they give you and you use the verbal expanders before asking the next question which is: Ultimately, what will having that do for you? This is the answer you want most. This answer tells you if they are moving away from a problem or moving towards a goal or something that they have set their heart on. One is fixation on a problem . . . the other is hope for a better future. Make a person hurt some more before offering the solution because this is what they need to hear. The person who wants to reach their goals is persuaded when you show them how what you have will make their dreams come true. Now you have their highest answer, the one you remember so you can use it in a moment. Now you metaphorically slide down the slide to get more specific as you ask: What does that mean? So you have gone from the specific to the bigger picture and back down to another specific, only this time its emotional. And thats exactly what you want.
The sequence once more is, Why are we talking today? Whats important about that? What would having that do for you? And, What does that mean? Throughout the rest of your persuasion opportunity, you feed back their answers, especially the one you got after you asked, Ultimately, what would having that do for you? No one knows theyve just given you all the information you need to influence them. They just get more excited every time you use their answers to move them forward with deliberation. Have fun with this strategy. Enjoy the responses you get. Really feel the connection you get with the other person as you use these skills to make others happy because as you do youll enjoy life more, have more of the things you want as a consequence, and be more successful in all that you do. I want you to go into the future and see yourself in a current persuasion opportunity and listen to yourself ask each question in turn. Why did you decide to meet with me today? Wait for their answer. If its not an answer where you can use the question Whats important about . . .? Then you ask, yes but, why now? Then use any of the verbal expanders that fit before you ask: Whats important about . . .? Again using any of the verbal expanders that fit before you ask: Ultimately what would having (whatever they said) do for you? Again using any of the verbal expanders that fit before you ask: What does that mean? Keep in mind that its best not to sound polished or rehearsed, but more like youre fumbling in the dark to learn more about them. In a way you are using a mini model of the Persuasion Equation. You Bond with them, Learn about what they want, and Accept their reasons for wanting what they want.
Chapter 9 Social Influence in Action

Read this section of the playbook after youve listened to the second Relaxation and Integration (light & sound) session. That way youll know for certain this style of learning really works. Here is strategy one. Liking. Give an example of how to get someone to instantly like you, preferably the one mentioned in the light and sound session. ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ Strategy two is one of cooperation. Show in just one sentence how you use cooperation in your persuasion. ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ Now we go to the third Compliance strategy known as consistency. How is consistency classed as a compliance strategy? ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ Which leads us smoothly to the next strategy . . . compatibility. Demonstrate one idea of how you used compatibility the last time you persuaded someone. ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________
And we now move around to the next strategy, reciprocity. How and why is giving to another before asking for anything in return so powerful? ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ A reciprocal relationship is the foundation of friendship. Keep in mind always that both liking and compatibility can be increased by doing small favours and showing good manners, together with courtesy these make others feel socially obligated to return these favours because doing so makes them feel good. The next strategy to fix into your unconscious is the one of social proof. In our democracy going against society, questioning commonly held beliefs can be detrimental to ones future. The theme of finding someone to blame that everyone agrees on lets people off the hook. If you use this compliance strategy by saying, everyone knows its not your fault, its like taking away a curse and giving someone their freedom back knowing they are not to blame for their circumstances. Its the common enemy the US versus Them story line. The next principle of conditioning and association. We are conditioned early in life our beliefs form as a result of associating that conditioning to certain things. We are told not to trust strangers. . . Salespeople can be seen as strangers so you reposition yourself as an advisor and trusted friend to side step being thought of as a salesperson. Certain stimuli are recognised only by the other-than-conscious mind of the person you are persuading. You now look like them. . . sound like them. . . act like them and bypass the critical part of their mind so they trust and respect you as an authority figure. You quickly, easily, effortlessly become the authority in their world.
Give two examples of how you used authority in your persuasion. ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ The next category of compliance, that of association. Association links favourable feelings towards you with what you are offering. This is known as anchoring. Pavlov did this with his dogs, ringing a bell when he fed them linked the bell to their food. You can do this by asking about a time when they absolutely had to have something. What did that feel like when you were so compelled? Feel that feeling again now, the feeling of going for it. When you do that you have linked that feeling to you. Then say: now as you feel that allow it to create a filter with which to filter in what Im about to say to you so the conclusion is easy, simple and automatic. The next powerful compliance strategy is that of core drives within all of us. These drives are the basic needs of our species and normally operate outside of our awareness. Core drives dominate many of our actions and appealing to them is very powerful and goes undetected. The drives are: ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ Use all four of these and like magic a person is persuaded. Scarcity is the theme of our next compliance strategy. Rarity, scarcity, and similar qualities increase value for most people. The grass is always greener on the other side is something everyone knows. Wanting what we
cant have is attractive to almost everyone. No one wants to miss out on a once in a lifetime opportunity. Missed chances are stories people always hear about. The principle of scarcity appeals to the greed of the other person. Have honest, plausible reasons why what you have is scarce, give a reason, and gain compliance. The reason why is key to persuasion .It could be your reason or theirs for doing something. This bypasses the rational mind. Using the word now accelerates the process because in your explanation to get persuasion, limited supply, limited pricing, limited time, impending event exclusivity or rarity are all examples of how to make scarcity work and easily gain compliance as you use the reason why in every persuasion opportunity. Give an example of how you will use scarcity in your next persuasion opportunity ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ The next strategy to include in your weapons of mass persuasion is the power of hope and dreams coming true. Show how you can use hope in every persuasion opportunity ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________
Chapter 10 Suggest-Ability
Language is a powerful thing. In fairy tales there is always the wicked witch that uses spells to curse the unsuspecting hero. It always takes an outsider to free the hero from the curse. Isnt this interesting? This storyline is familiar to virtually every culture and if youre the curious type you have to wonder where this concept came from. All fairy tales have their basis in reality. We are all told this or that is true when we are young. But is it really? Will you have bad luck if you walk under a ladder? The superstitious believe things that make no sense. The idea, for example, that seeing a lone magpie brings bad luck to the person who sees it. Its great that this kind of thinking exists because it forces the achiever within us to discover the way out. The clues are everywhere Language has the power to bind thoughts together like string until they form a powerful belief or strong rope. If you use certain types of linguistic structures, you can literally force the unsuspecting into a confined way of thinking and acting. Getting people to accept your suggestions and act on them is an exciting, enjoyable experience. So lets get started and upgrade your persuasion skills even more and as you increase your influence ability youll effortlessly boost your suggestibility quotient. Every blockbuster film has plot points to move the story from one section to the next. In persuasion you naturally do the same. You plan out where you want the other person to be at the end. Doing what it is that you want them to do. Then you plot backwards where you plan each segue, each plot point, each turn of events that leads the person to the next stage of influence. The Persuasion Equation is the only model available that allows you to know where you are at every stage of your persuasion opportunity. You recall their model is Defend in the centre that you keep quiet, bond at the bottom left, and you use your rapport skills from session one to instantly connect with them. At the bottom right is learn and you use the social influence strategies to engineer yourself into the place where you can learn about them first, then they learn about you as you inject your ideas into their mind without any resistance.
The first plot point then, is a combination of your rapport skills, the second plot point uses the questions from the last chapter to discover their real dominant emotions for doing what it is you want them to do. These as you recall were: Why are we here talking today? Or why did you decide to meet up with me at this point in your life? Or why have we got together today? And you easily remember to use the verbal expanders throughout your questions to soften any hint of sounding the least bit confrontational. You want these answers, and you make people feel comfortable giving them to you. The next question you recall is Whats important about . . .? here you feedback the answer they just gave you. Then you ask, What would you be experiencing? (And playback the last answer you got). Wait and listen for their response and before asking the next question use some of the verbal expanders. Then ask, What does that mean? Or how does that feel? And you keep in mind, hold in your memory, remember to remember their answers and feed them back using this amazingly simple, yet brilliant strategy. You say four things that are undeniable truths as far as they are concerned and then inject a thought that you want them to accept. Heres an example of how this may work. To set the scene, imagine you want to influence a woman to rent a house from your company. The woman arrives in your office. After an unconscious hello, mirroring her head and facial movements, you exchange pleasant greetings, remembering to move when she does. You ask, Why did you decide to come over to my office today? She replies, Well, I saw your advert for properties for rent and was just following up on that really. Okay, you say, you know we see lots of adverts every day but we ignore most of them. What prompted you to respond ours? I noticed most of your properties were near the sea and not far from the town centre where I work. Thats interesting. I like being near the sea as well. Tell me, whats important about being by the sea and close to the centre where you work?
Well, I like going for walks by the beach, it clears my head, makes me feel more alive. And I have to be on time for work and dont want too much traffic. Hmm, that makes sense. I live close to town and hate rush hour traffic. Just so I completely understand what it is youre looking for, Id love to know. Ultimately, what would you be experiencing if you could take those leisurely walks by the sea to clear your head from time to time? The woman smiles, Id enjoy life more and be happier I suppose. Yes, you reply, I can see that, hmm, thats a thought worth holding onto. Tell me, if you enjoyed life more and were happier, how would that feel? The woman has an even bigger smile now, her eyes light up, her pupils dilate, her face glows as she replies. Id feel wonderful, like Id found the ideal place to live after all this time. Now the sequence is complete and you have all your answers. You easily remember them, realising the answer to the question, ultimately, is the one to focus on most. All of the previous answers rank below this in importance and specificity. The answer she gave, Id enjoy life more and be happier. controls all the other answers. You know this and repeat back as many answers as you can. Recall these now when you need to persuade on purpose. Your reply could be, We do have one property that might suit you. It overlooks the sea, and is about a three minute walk from the beach. Youd have time for a walk before work as the centres only ten minutes away. So you could arrive at work without stress, with a clear head and feeling wonderful knowing youll be enjoying life more and feeling happier. In fact, Im sure once you see this place youll realise how you could feel wonderful about its location and that after all this time you may have found just the right place. Now, do you want to enjoy life more? When would now be a good time to take a look? Notice we have her main reasons for wanting a place like this and that this was a guide, an example of how this works. There are plenty of details to be worked out here, but you are off to a very good start.
Now we look at this from another perspective using a linking statement that attaches you to their outcome. The outline can move along like this. Remembering this is a template, you place their answers in the appropriate places. You mentioned you wanted this to happen in your life right now, and thats why you decided to meet with me today. Thats the first of the three. Next you said (give their second answer) was important to you because (give their third answer). The linking sentence is, and as you think about these things you can begin to see that working with me is the right thing to do, and as that sinks in you can see yourself feeling (give their fourth answer), and that is what you really want. Now here is your second linking statement that injects yours ideas into their mind. . . . as you listen to what I say, you find yourself coming to the conclusion that this will work for you just the way you want and need it to and have you feeling just the way you said you wanted to, and that last sentence was the last time you need to use an undeniable truth for this plot point. You continue on with your recommendations and suggestions. The structure is three statements they have to agree with, either because its true in their on-going, observable experience, or is something they cant dispute. Then you inject something that you want them to accept as true. Heres an example for you: As you become aware of the way you feel as you sit or lie there listening to me while I speak, you can begin to see yourself grasping this concept and using it powerfully to lead others in the direction you want them to go. Then once youve said the first part, you then take the statement you want them to believe, and either repeat it or refer to it. Then make two more statements that are either true or cant be refuted. Like this: And as you see yourself using this skill with power, you can be saying things to yourself on the inside, thinking thoughts inside your mind that reinforce your learning so you easily recall this pattern of persuasion when youre in your next persuasion opportunity. Then you repeat or refer to the suggestion you made and then make one more statement of truth, and suggest a way and make sure they are with you as you do.
Heres what I mean: As you use this pattern the next time you persuade someone you remember what its like to feel good, as you confidently go out in the world with this pattern firmly in your mind and you easily switch on your brains amazing ability to think up one of these patterns for each time you persuade someone. And as you allow this pattern to be retained, held permanently in mind, to be forever available for use anytime you want and need, you feel the confidence you have about all that youre learning here .As you hear my words, they are etched in stone inside your long term memory. Now lets go over the format one more time. You have three statements of truth like these: As you reflect back on what Ive been saying you can recall my words, hearing my voice. Make a suggestion you want the other person to agree with like this: Thinking your next thought can cause you to become aware of why working with me as your guide in learning the most powerful methods of persuasion anywhere is the right thing to do. You then refer to your suggestion to turn it into a truth like this: And as that thought reinforces why working with me is the best choice, you can become aware of other thoughts occurring inside that blend with your earlier thoughts. Then add another suggestion like this: You say to yourself, YES I love this way of learning and Im more than happy to recommend it to people I know. Then refer back to that statement once more and continue taking the other person in the direction you want them to go. And as you imagine your friends thanking you for making your recommendation to them, you find yourself becoming even more successful because you know that what you give is given back to you. The next thing youll hear as you conclude that these are easily learnable for you are the two patterns in real time, as you listen to them, follow along and let them be your guide to taking this strategy and installing it for permanent recall any time you see the opportunity to use it.
As you become aware of the way you feel as you sit or lie there listening to me while I speak, you can begin to see yourself grasping this concept and using it powerfully to lead others in the direction you want them to go. And as you see yourself using this skill with power you can say things to yourself on the inside, think thoughts inside your mind that reinforce your learning so you easily recall this pattern of persuasion when youre in your next persuasion opportunity. As you use this pattern the next time you persuade someone you remember what its like to feel good, as you confidently go out in the world with this pattern firmly in your mind and you easily switch on your brains amazing ability to think up one of these patterns for each time you persuade someone. And as you allow this pattern to be retained, held permanently in mind, to be forever available for use anytime you want and need, you feel the confidence you have about all that youre learning here grow. As you hear my words they are etched in stone inside your long term memory .Now lets go over the format one more time. As you reflect back on what Ive been saying you can recall my words, hearing my voice. Thinking your next thought causes you to become aware of why working with me as your guide in learning the most powerful methods of persuasion anywhere is the right thing to do. And as that thought reinforces why working with me is the right thing to do, you can become aware of other thoughts occurring inside that blend with your earlier thoughts. You say to yourself YES I love this way of learning and Im more than happy to recommend it to people I know. And as you imagine your friends thanking you for making your recommendation to them, you find yourself becoming even more successful because you know that what you give is given back to you. Now as we move on, youll notice that that was the next plot point in the persuasion process. All of your persuasion takes place in the early stages, which means that at this point you have connected, you have injected your ideas and suggestions and they have already accepted them but they havent realised it yet.
I wonder if youve already began to notice from this point forward all you really need to do is reinforce, add weight to, and strengthen all of what youve achieved this far until the next plot point? Youll do this with linguistic structures that bypass the conscious critical part of the other persons mind and are automatically accepted and ready to act upon. Here are some of these structures: I wonder if youve already started to notice . . . . this is a great sentence structure because you are not saying anything direct, its vague and done in an artful way. I wonder if youve already started to notice how this sentence could lead another person in any direction you wanted them to go? This works so well because we are all conditioned to respond to questions, arent we? And asking if someone has already started implies that they have. Ait actually presupposes, or establishes in advance that they have. They can only make sense of this sentence once theyve heard the complete sentence. Then, and only then they know what youve said, and by that time they have to agree with you. In this sentence nothing is said until the second half of the sentence. Your mind is being invited to notice something you hadnt, by asking and using the powerful word IF. If implies its opposite. I wonder if youve already started to notice? Of course you havent started to notice, thats why the word If is so incredible because it focuses the mind on its opposite. The last word in that part of the sentence, just prior to you leading them in the direction of your choice, is notice. Its an awareness word. With awareness words, you are implying an awareness of something they probably werent aware of before, but are now, through your suggestion. How about that? You can do all this with just eight short little words. Is there a defence against this? Yes, they could say, No I havent started to notice that. And you come back with. Not yet, huh? Now what can they say? You just keep talking because this is sinking into the fertile soil of their mind as a seed planted deep only to grow and flourish into bigger thoughts. And what do thoughts produce? Action! The type of action you want them to take. I wonder if youve started to notice how much fun you can have with these patterns of persuasion? I wonder if youve started to notice just how much more relaxed youre becoming as you let this become a part of your long-term memory and remember to use it when youre with other people.
Okay, its clear that youve already stored this one away, never to be forgotten, always there at hand when you need it. Can you imagine how easily youll find yourself getting more of what you want? Another great way of using indirect suggestion is the sentence structure, Can you imagine? Now you have to use your imagination to discover whether or not you can imagine what Im saying. How brilliant is that? Can you imagine yourself in your upcoming persuasion opportunities having mastery with these patterns at an unconscious level? Not yet, huh? Well by the time youve started to make sense of this sentence youll already have locked these patterns into your unconscious mind. The fact that youve read this far, and the fact that this is an outstanding light and sound session, and the fact that you have a real interest in becoming an even better persuader means that you have already begun mastering these and the other patterns Ill be speaking of in just a moment. And there was our next pattern, similar in structure to the first pattern mentioned earlier about stating common truths. This one is a mini version and it goes like this: the fact that, (state a truth) and the fact that, (state another truth) and the fact that, (say a third truth) means . . . and then say anything you want the other person to accept. Practice this: The fact that, the fact that, and the fact that, means. You could also be even more subtle and say something like: Youre here today, listening to me talk, and you become curious about what I have to say next. The unconscious mind of the other person is saying, yes, yes and yes to these statements and so its easier to say yes to the next one because the mind is now on autopilot. The fact that youre taking all this in means youre easily assimilating this for using whenever you want people to go along with you. And there was our next wonderfully easy pattern to learn and play with. The fact that you. . . means. Once you bypass the logical brain you dont need to use logic until you arrive at the time of decision. What happens when you see yourself in the future using all this information? Ill be quiet while you mentally rehearse these patterns:
Starting with . . . I wonder if youve already started to notice . . . Can you imagine . . . The fact that, the fact that, and the fact that, means. The fact that you. . . means. Excellent, now youre getting these at a really deep level. When you begin to feel comfortable with these, youll use them all the time, but not too much. You sprinkle these in every now and again just to reinforce all the work you did earlier. The next pattern is when you really begin to, (and then make your suggestion), then, (and make another suggestion). This pattern is so smooth because its so plausible. When you really begin to grasp these patters then youll persuade more people, make more money and enjoy life even more. The last pattern in this series is Just suppose. This pattern also bypasses critical thinking when you have strong rapport with people. Can you see how all of what youre learning here fits together like a giant jigsaw puzzle of power. Just suppose you find yourself using these skills now because this way of learning really integrates these patterns into your behaviour and verbal repertoire. All of these patterns here use the other persons imagination to see themselves having, using and enjoying what you have on offer. Now well move to the next few plot points that lead a person into a favourable decision, a decision that they come up with seemingly on their own. Youll use one of my favourite sentences as a transition to the next phase of the conversation Naturally, youll become aware of more than enough reasons to move ahead with this today, even if you make sense of just a little of what I say next.
How can you argue with this sentence? There is one extra thing you can do to make this even more effective. When you first say hello to someone you like, you usually use a more pleasant, warmer, and even a deeper tone of voice. This special voice can be used at all of the plot points in your persuasion opportunities. So the sentence once again is: Naturally, youll become aware of more than enough reasons to move ahead with this today, even if you make sense of just a little of what I say next. Now you say this sentence with me inside your mind: Naturally, youll become aware of more than enough reasons to move ahead with this today, even if you make sense of just a little of what I say next. After saying this sentence immediately follow up with something easy to understand and talk for a few minutes to allow what youve said to sink in and distract the conscious mind from what youve just said. Have something prepared as your plot point follow up. This next plot point when used in just the right place, in just the right tone of voice, and at the right time really has the power to help the other person conclude that going along with your suggestions is the right thing to do. Im not an advocate of using someones name, but here is when you can use it appropriately. Many people, Sally, make a picture in their mind of owning one of our cars, boats, planes, (or whatever). . . just before making the decision to go ahead now and do this for all the obvious reasons. And once again you change the subject to distract the conscious mind while the unconscious accepts and acts upon what youve just said. Again, have something prepared to say for a few minutes while the other person is digesting what youve just said. Here is the sentence again for you to remember, keep in mind, recall and use: Many people, Steve, make a picture in their mind of owning one of our computers, sound systems,( or whatever you have on offer). . . just before
making the decision to go ahead and do this for all the obvious reasons. Now, you do want to enjoy life more? Another example: Many people, Alex, make a picture in their mind of owning one of our. . . just before making the decision to go ahead and do this for all the obvious reasons. Now, you do want to enjoy life more? And again: Many people, Sandra, make a picture in their mind of owning one of our. . . just before making the decision to go ahead and do this for all the obvious reasons. Now, you do want to enjoy life more? Thats good. . . very good and onwards we go to the last plot point. The decision to go ahead with your overall offering. Just prior to looking at the last plot point you may have already noticed how easy the decision to use these ideas was far, easier than you thought, to make you even more successful. Now the last plot point: Decision time. This also uses the momentum of saying Yes inside their minds as they answer your two easy to remember questions, they are: I dont think Ive left anything out here today have I? They will say No. you then follow up with, Is there anything else you need to hear today in order to go ahead? They again say no, which of course means yes. This is so subtle, so nice, and is so low key. All of your persuasion was done in the early stages, so this is merely a formality, a foregone conclusion if you will. You now say, Great, lets get you started. Or whatever is appropriate for what youre doing. Now if youre asking someone out on a date you wouldnt use these two questions at the end. Nor would you if you were at a job interview. You only use these if you are in sales, or in business and you secured a one up position of authority as we spoke of in sessions one and two. The two questions are, I dont think Ive left anything out here today have I? They will say No. you follow up with, Is there anything else you need to hear today in order to go ahead? They again say no, which of course means yes.
Chapter 11 Plot-Point Persuasion

Interestingly, as every phase closes theres an opportunity that most persuaders miss, and thats to segue into the next phase. I hope youre not one of those who also used to miss this vital component that unlocks what I call The Mind Code. The Mind Code is the name weve given to our live events that show you exactly how to persuade with power every time. In every film thats any good there are plot points. These are scenes in the film that powerfully change the direction the film is going in and can be a type of a cliff hanger. They lead you (segue) to the next part of the film. This means the really astute persuader starts at the end of the persuasion opportunity and works backward to fit these plot points strategically into the persuasion process. If you ask any really good chess player if they understand and engineer the game to go through phases, starting with the opening, through to the middle and end game, they will say yes. Because they know each phase has its own unique set of themes, strategies and tactics. Just suppose you could do this? How undetectably brilliant is this? It allows you to seamlessly flow from bonding to acquiring, taking the right steps in between. These steps are like an invisible framework. Naturally, youll want to know exactly how to do this and this is one of the many strategies I reveal in my workshops. Its not really possible to show it through the medium of a book, because you have to customise it to fit your set of circumstances. The way I do it is through suggestions patterns. The patterns of language primarily use presuppositions that presuppose agreement. People have to go along with what you say in order to make sense of what youve just said. I know this may sound a bit a bit complicated, but bear with me.
By the way when you attend a live event and I get you to practice, Ill also reveal a little more. Did you know there are certain types of sentence structures that hypnotise people? These sentences actually plant seeds that grow in peoples minds, they find themselves acting on them without even realising. How great is that for a persuader? It does require a great deal of rapport to make it work effectively and a great deal of skill. If you are the type of person who wants to succeed and go way past your previous best in terms of more money, more prestige and more time to enjoy a better lifestyle, you can attend one of my live events. After you've completed the earlier stages well, the other person will want to accept you and acquire what you have. But you'll still have to tread carefully and keep so the Protect and Defend centres calm and undisturbed. This is where all of your plot points earlier have carefully laid the groundwork for success in getting what you want. If youre in sales, this is where you close the deal. This should be as smooth as a professional skater on ice. People make far too much of closing skills. Most sales trainers still think that salespeople need all the tricks when it comes to this phase of the persuasion process. But there should be no tricks, gimmicks or magic wands at this point, because the person youre persuading should by now already want what youre offering. Some uneducated and unsophisticated people will tell you to use secret directives like by now, because it sounds like buy now to the unconscious mind of the listener. If youve been attentive, youll be aware that I used this in the last paragraph. Did that slip by you? If it didnt, then youve got the point. Which is this, if you take risks in using overused tactics, then you could easily end up not looking good. If youre in sales The easiest way to get the buyer to acquire what you have is to allow them to say NO to you. Everyone wants to say no to a salesperson, but here, your buyers no, really means, yes. This works so well, the buyer doesn't realise you've asked for the order. They think it was all their idea,
When 'no' means YES
and that's the way you want it. No defence needed. Now theres another neat little strategy I recently learned and used to close a difficult sale. If a buyer gives you an objection such as: I want to check out your competition - you sow seeds of doubt like this: First agree with them by saying words to the effect of if I were you I might think the same way but let me ask you a few questions. Now just ask questions that can only be answered with a no or I dont know. Here you are deliberately undermining their thought processes. You may have someone you know who does this regularly. If they do, its a strategy they use called mismatching, and theres a great, easy way to counteract it every time it happens. You will hear objections from time to time. What I found as a chess player is that once I knew most of the ways my opponent could respond to my opening moves, they seemed to play into my hands. Funny that. Its the same with objections. I once had a couple who I knew wanted to buy a conservatory from me, but they were stalling. I knew I only had this one chance, so I offered to put the whole thing on the side of their house and only then, if they were happy, pay me. Guess what? I got the sale. He was waiting for some money to mature from a long term savings account . . . that was his real objection to going ahead now. Once the objection was gone he could see a way forward. There are certain lines you can use that change minds. As a persuader these are your stock in trade. Never leave home without them! Can you see how this model fits any and all types of persuasion? It even works with all types of therapy. Its simple, quick to bring to mind and easy to use. Youll discover that you can easily keep this in mind when you want to persuade anyone. Youll recall the visual image and know where you are within the framework of the model. Obviously youll want this to always be in your mind when you want to get anyone to go along with what youre suggesting. After youve finished reading this book youll know exactly how to make that happen.
During the time it takes to read the rest of this book, keep in mind how useful it would be to have all this power at your command, anytime you want your own way. Today you are working backwards, placing your plot points strategically along the way. Or another way of looking at this is, begin with the end in mind. In our case, its the decision to use our company to provide products that help other companies succeed in the marketplace. So at the end there are two questions that the buyer has to say no to, and the second no means yes. Here they are: I dont think Ive left anything out today have I? You wait until you hear no, if you hear yes, ask what it is they need to hear. Lets assume they said no. You say, Is there anything else you need to hear in order to go ahead? Again they say no and you say, great lets get this organised for you and hand the paperwork over for a signature. Write out these two sentences here: 1. __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ 2. __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ So now we have the final plot point fixed in mind, lets look at the various patterns of persuasion that helped us get there. The last pattern in this series is Just suppose. This pattern also bypasses critical thinking when you have strong rapport with people. Write two sentences that start with Just Suppose: 1. ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ 2. ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ The next one is: Many people, Steve, make a picture in their mind of using our company to supply the best products on the market. . . just before making the decision to go ahead and do this for all the obvious reasons. Now customise this sentence to fit your persuasion opportunity:
________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ Write one sentence each to complete each pattern to fit your persuasion opportunity The fact that, the fact that, and the fact that, means. Now you write ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ Can you imagine . . . ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ The fact that you. . . means. ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ The next pattern is when you really begin to, (and then make your suggestion) then, (and make another suggestion). Now you write ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ This next plot point, when used in just the right place, in just the right tone of voice, and at the right time really has the power to help the other person conclude that going along with your suggestions is the right thing to do. Naturally, youll become aware of more than enough reasons to move ahead with this today, even if you make sense of just a little of what I say next. Your turn: ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ The second plot point uses the questions that you use to discover their real, dominant emotions for doing what it is you want them to do. These as you recall were: Why are we here talking today? Or, Why did you decide to meet up with me at this point in your life? Or, Why have we got together today? And you easily remember to use the verbal expanders throughout your questions to soften any hint of sounding the least bit confrontational. You want these answers, and you make people feel comfortable giving them to you. The next question you recall is Whats important about . . .? here you feedback the answer they just gave you. Then you ask, What would you be experiencing that lets you know you have? (And playback the last answer you got). Wait and listen for their response and before asking the next question use some of the verbal expanders.
Then ask, What does that mean? Or how does that feel? And you keep in mind, hold in your memory, remember to remember their answers and feed them back using this amazingly simple, yet brilliant strategy. The first plot point is a combination of your rapport skills, Write some rapport strategies here: ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________
You can now see how all that youre learning here fits together like a giant jigsaw puzzle of persuasion power. If youve done the exercises, well done brilliant, now lets move onto the next chapter.
Chapter 12 Resisting Resistance

Resistance can happen at any point in the Persuasion Equation. Its always because the other persons need to defend and protect themselves has been triggered, either by you or by a past memory evoked by them or you. The ideal persuasion takes place when the defences of the brain are soundly asleep. The triune brain Our brain has three parts. The oldest part is the reptilian brain where the fight or flight trigger is housed. Its pure defend and protect life at all costs. If you trigger this, youll find persuasion difficult. The second part of our fantastic brain is the limbic system where our emotions reside. We will always defend our emotional state when challenged. If someone feels a certain way, and you try to suggest they dont you cant win. The top of the brain - the new brain is the neocortex. This part is where logic and reason take place. Also our character and personality traits live here. Its what makes us unique, individual, and different from everyone else. We rationalise our decisions and defend our logic. Tread carefully around these... you dont want them aroused in any way. If you know how to spot which part of the brain the defence has been triggered by, youll know how to disarm it. The myth of objection handling If you are in sales, no doubt youll have come across, handling objections. Its in all obsolete sales training. If someone comes up with an objection, youre supposed to handle it with slick techniques like, feel felt found. It goes something like this. I know how you must feel, I felt like that too until I found Give me a break. If anyone said this to me Id laugh at them. There are ways of moving past resistance if it happens, and it will from time to time. Its always better to keep the defence mechanism in the middle asleep. If it is triggered, you can redirect it. Well cover that in just a moment.
Bring up the objection before they do. If its price, I draw a circle early in the sale and divide it into three pieces. One is quality, one is service and the last one is price. I then tell them the best companies in the world, like us, can only offer two of the three. I give them an example of a service and price company. Then of a quality and service company. . . then I ask them to choose which two of the three they want. They nearly always choose quality and service, because they dont want to look cheap. If they price is one of their choices, I ask if they dont mind poor quality. Of course they want quality. Or I might say you dont care about the service then? It transpires they do. See how that works? In the diagram here youll find a visual representation of the way I persuade. I keep the defence part of their mind asleep. The most effective way is to use language patterns. These patterns give the unconscious mind a direction to go in, by planting seeds which grow into thoughts of their own, undetected. You become a director of consciousness. Why? Because their attention and consciousness will go wherever you direct them. Now, if they like you and you are the authority figure in their lives at this point, you can use language patterns, but not too often.
The Language of Beliefs
To understand the fundamentals of language patterns, lets lay the groundwork first. Beliefs have a structure. Its this . . . x causes y, being in the midday sun for too long causes skin cancer. So you have one thing on one side of this equation and another on the other side. If you wanted you could attack or undermine either side. Heres an example: The sun doesnt cause skin cancer, its the sun blocking creams. Or, its not skin cancer it causes but premature aging of the skin. Can you see how this is a vital part of the Persuasion Equation? People believe these kinds of statements because all beliefs have this structure. Any belief someone has - they have for a reason. If someone says to you, I want to talk to my husband about this first before I make a decision. What do you do? Ask the question because?' and you get their belief about why they want to ask their husband. The reason could be Hes the one with the money. Now here you can clearly see that she cant make a decision because he has the money. If you found this out earlier, you could have easily avoided it. Now any x can cause any y. People come up with the strangest reasons for not going along with you and you must know how to redirect their thinking. Here is another example of how this could work: I dont want to go out tonight. You answer because? Im tired. So what you have is their belief about why they dont want to go out tonight. You either redirect their thinking about what going out means, or choose to go after being tired. Just to show you this could work, you could say something like: Its only when we change activities can we really rest. What I mean is we are always doing something. People exercise when they feel a bit tired and this makes them come alive again. You know once youre out, youll love it. You always do. There is more you can do here to make certain this works by adding the illusion of choice to the equation.
The illusion of choice Years ago I remember J. Douglas Edwards an American sales trainer of the old ways say, Do you want to use my pen or yours? This trick made the buyer think he has a choice in signing the contract. How bad is that? Today you can be
much more stylish by offering a choice. However, your choice is really an illusion. It works in a similar way to the above example by using the word or. Lets go back to our earlier persuasion about going out tonight. Well take it for granted he knows where she likes to go and gives her two choices. We could go to your favourite restaurant and eat there, or we could try the new one thats just opened up opposite and see what their food is like. Do you see what weve achieved? Both choices are to go out to eat because thats what he wants to do. She feels its her choice, therefore the illusion worked. If she goes out then he has successfully completed the Persuasion Equation. Naturally, he was connecting, then, he injected his illusion of choice after she started protecting, next, she was accepting. It really is that simple when you fully integrate this information into your behaviour. How suggestion changes perception Using suggestion patterns of persuasion is the state of the art in influencing today. In fact, it makes all other programmes on the subject out-dated. The way to look at these patterns is to change someones perception of their position, then, they change their thinking on their own. I cant emphasise enough, the only way this works in your life is to tell the truth attractively. Never lie about anything and never use these to harm people. Play the game forever, not just today. One of the most powerful tools of persuasion is your ability to use 'lines that change minds.' Every word has power. To use language patterns effectively go after changing thoughts, not behaviours, as all of what we do comes from what we think What makes language patterns work? What the best hypnotists have found is that if they can get you to make a mental image of what it is they want you to do . . . you are much more likely to do it. The covert way is to say things in a way that stops you from disagreeing. Stated another way, a hypnotist will structure a sentence in a way you have to agree with in order to make sense of it. Heres an example: "Are you becoming aware of how interesting this section of this book is?" Notice that you couldnt tell what the subject of the sentence was until you reached the end. By then, you had already agreed with me. Also the words becoming aware made you aware of something you were not even thinking about.
Would you like to be able to have this kind of persuasion power any time you want? Like flicking a switch, you start instantly getting people to go along with you. The next chapter shows you how to do this. I recommend listening to the Relaxation and Integration session four before reading the next chapter.
Take a break before the next chapter and then read it straight through in one sitting.
Chapter 13 The Heroic Journey

A young woman worked in her fathers business answering phones all day long. Inquiries about how to buy products that her father sold. The business was doing well . . . they had one really good advocate for the company who could persuade almost anyone to buy what the company sold. The advocate was the girls father, his vision, his mission, his belief in what he sold was a solid as a rock. The woman loved her father and after agreeing to work for him, he put her in charge of customer service. She enjoyed talking to people on the phone, at a distance. The girl was a little shy, uncertain of the ways of the world. Still she loved her job. It turns out that the customers liked her, though none had ever met her. Her work provided a reasonable income . . . she lived quite comfortably, ticking along day after day, five days a week. One day, out of nowhere, the unthinkable happened. Her father became ill, too weak to work. She was called to his bedside. Her father said he trusted no one more than her. The company had to go on providing world class products for people who so desperately needed them to improve their lives. Could she go out and meet new clients, for he could no longer go. She was shocked at the request. I cant talk to people like you can, father, she said. I dont have the confidence you have. His reply was that one day, a long time ago . . . he started where she was now. All he had was a belief in his product, but not in himself. He told his daughter that beliefs like that come from an outside source. From someone who believed in them. He had a mentor, a friend, a trusted ally who he turned to in his early days. He said the man is still alive, but he must be close to 100 years old.
She must go and see him straight away. The business cant wait . . . the people we serve need us. The girl wasnt sure. She pleaded with him to hire a professional salesperson. You can afford the best, she told her father. I already have the best... its you, dear, its you. Our clients will learn to love you the way they loved me for all these years. She refused to go. Im not a salesperson. She went back to work as before, stubbornly refusing to listen to anymore from her father. Two days later her father passed away, leaving her a note, his dying wish. He had left the company to her. Everything. It was all hers now, she was the boss. She placed an advert for a professional salesperson. She interviewed half a dozen people. None had the sparkle, the verve, or the charisma of her father. One day while she was interviewing, a man walked in. He was tall, slim, and strong looking, and spoke with a velvet voice. What would you give to find the ideal salesperson? She replied, What do you mean? The man said, I was a friend of your father, and I know where you can find the person to take this company forward. Where? she asked. With that he took something out of his coat pocket and held it up to her face, reflected back was the image of her own face in a mirror. What most people fear in life is rejection, although your father was the exception. He believed his products and his company were right for the person he was in front of. He knew if they werent he had no business persuading them and would go and find someone who did need what he was offering. The reason why you wont follow in the footsteps of success is your fear. You are scared people will turn you down when you ask for what you want. Until you
know why people resist you and what to do about it, you wont be able to succeed. People resist you today because of your lack of knowledge. And you know from listening to your father for all of these years, the one thing he kept coming back to was . . . knowledge is the answer to everything. When you shed every limitation that surrounds you today and face the world as a butterfly that has just shed her cocoon, you will find yourself with more than enough talent to persuade everyone, every time. It can be done make no mistake about that. In fact, its how all of nature works. Only humans cling to their troubles and so reproduce them in ever greater and greater numbers. Hugging their chains, they bind themselves ever tighter. Yet it has been proven time and time again that its just as natural for a person to shed themselves of situations that are not right for them, and begin anew, as a lobster sheds a broken claw, or a snake its skin. And it can be done without harming anyone. As a matter of fact, most of the earliest teachings prove to us the many times in history where this has happened time and again. How is it done? How does a snake shed its old skin? By first forming a new skin underneath, does it not, then letting go of the old? How does a lobster get a new claw, or a child a new tooth? They do it by growing the new one under the shell of the old. Then when they are far enough along with the new situation, they let go of the old. The outer shell is always dead. It is only underneath it, where the new circumstances are forming, that there is life. Your present situations, where you are
in life now, dont matter. There is no life in them. Its what forming underneath that counts. What is taking shape under the presence of where you are now? Are you hugging those same old doubts and fears, lack and limitation, therefore reproducing them over and over again? Or are you growing a set of brand new circumstances, of wealth, happiness and success? Are you ready to split the old shell and shed it? You can grow into new talents right now. The power is in you, just as it is in every other form of life. It just needs using, thats all. And the way to use it is the way your father did all those years ago. He chose you to run this business because you are like he was, when he was younger. Seek out his mentor. Spend the time listening to the voice of the wise one. There you will find yourself. And with that, the man left just as quickly as he arrived. She sat silent for a while, knowing she had just been given a gift. Now was the time to find her fathers mentor, a man three times older than her. She needed to take time away from work . . . she called a special meeting of the other directors, and the managers. She told them she has to go to England for a holiday. She couldnt tell them why in case they thought she was losing the plot. They argued that she was the owner of the company and her place was here until they had found a replacement for her father. One even threatened to resign if she went away at a time like this. Another said she wasnt worthy of running a huge operation like the one her father had so
skilfully built over his long career. They were all against her except one woman. She told her the break would do her good, and that she would fill in for her. The young woman knew that all rested on her shoulders. If she couldnt get over her fear of rejection, the business her father had spent his whole life building, his dream, his vision, would collapse. And everyone working for her would be out of a job. Her fathers vision had to become her vision. The products the company offered changed the lives of everyone who bought them. The business changed the world for the better one person at a time. She had to succeed. Off she went to England. It was cold and wet. The man she was to meet lived in a rural hideaway, in the middle of nowhere. She took a taxi from the airport, and arrived two hours later. She felt a little tired, but was up for anything this man could teach her about persuasion. He opened the door, Ive been expecting you. He said, What took you so long? After sitting talking and reminiscing about her father, the wise man spoke words that she would always remember and recall for the rest of her life. He told her that you must first make friends with yourself before you can really discover how to persuade others. You must consider your vast untapped mind, your genius within, your best friend. This activates your full potential self and draws to you the people, the circumstances, and the events that will transform your life for the better, forever.
It all starts with Grace. Giving thanks for what you have in your life right now. This begins the beautiful process of bringing about even more of the things you secretly desire, like success in business, in love, and in all of your dealings with other people. You are blessed with many good things right now that you may not be appreciating, so you must now give thanks for all that is with you at this time. Because you yourself have attracted and manifested all the circumstances of your life. Start every day by giving thanks and blessings for five things that you experienced the previous day. Write these out. Spend just ten minutes at the start of your day being grateful. After you have done this ask what have you given today? Reflect on the day before on the things you gave to your business and write those down as well. Next, write what troubles or difficulties have you caused that day? Then describe something or someone who inspired you that day. Then put on paper, where did you experience a sense of peace or balance or comfort today? And lastly, write what made you happy today. (Not who. This shouldnt be relationally dependant). Do this every day, and as you do you, will notice circumstances changing rapidly. With that the old man bade her farewell and she took time to enjoy the rest of her holiday contemplating what he had told her.
As soon as she got back she continued her gratitude journal and wrote in it every day. Her feelings towards herself and her life immediately began to change. It wasnt long before she made the decision to be the one to replace her father. Although the thought scared her, she knew she would feel the fear and do it anyway. She told no one. She had heard her father say to her one day, the four great laws of success in any successful endeavour are to know, to will, to dare and to keep silent. To know your purpose is the first step in bringing what you want into your life, to will, to make manifest, to bring to life that which you have dreamed of. To dare to be bold, to take action towards the life you want. To keep silent builds the power within you to achieve. Telling people who dont care, just takes this power from you. Keeping it to yourself and you closest, most trusted friends gives you the power to manifest your desires. She went in search of knowledge, knowing it was the answer to everything. Once she knew why people resist others and what to do about it, she could use her will and dare to go out and be her best. The first day she had to go out and make a call on a large account who wasnt yet a customer. This one account could make or break the business in the next six months. She knew the will to win was coupled with the will to prepare to win. Hmmm She looked over her fathers records of previous visits. They didnt say much, only that the potential was phenomenal. Just then she heard a knock on her office door. Come in. She said. It was the companys accountant. Have you seen the figures for the last quarter? He asked. No, why should I? she answered. Theyre not good. He replied. We are about to move into the red unless we can get more revenue in the next six months. In fact, if we dont increase profits substantially, well go under.
Thats not good, what can we do? The accountant shrugged his shoulders and replied, Its your company, just find the money, somehow. Try getting a short term loan from the bank until you take on a professional salesperson. With that the accountant left. She had a challenge on her hands alright. So she made an appointment to see the bank manager. She tried putting her case to him, but all he did was contradict everything she said. If she said the company had had three great years, hed say, what about the last three months. If she said that most clients paid on time, the bank manager would point out the one or two late payers, and the difference that made to cash flow. It didnt matter what she said, the bank manager would disagree with it. She left with no money, feeling frustrated that she hadnt make any headway. She had never been treated like that, made to feel as if she was wrong about everything. As she walked down the street, oblivious to all around her, she felt someone holding her arm. She turned around to see who it was. It was the man who had come into her office inviting her to shed her skin. Hello again, He said, I was wondering if you had time for a coffee. Dazed, she found herself agreeing. The tall, mysterious man bought the coffee over to the table where she was sitting, looking out of the window at the people walking by. Is it really possible to understand what makes people tick? She asked. Yes. Yes he replied. People run habitual patterns like this all the time. They are equivalent to computer programmes. You click on the icon and up pops a software programme. It only responds the way its been programmed.
What do you mean? She asked. Lets take the bank manager. He reacted contrary in every way when you talked to him, didnt he? Yes, but how did you know? Never mind that. This man is known as a contrarian. His programme is designed to find the one thing he can find fault with and react opposite to what you said. I dont understand, what do you mean? Well, you tell him one thing, then he tries to find a way to disagree with what you said. He mismatches you every time you say something. While most people find the similarities in what youre saying to them with what they already know to be true, these people, the contrarians react contrary to what you tell them. Is there anything I can do to convince these people? Im glad you asked. He went on: There are two avenues to persuasion. Alpha increase the desire Omega decrease or prevent resistance Both lead to effective decisions. Most persuasion talks about the Alpha strategy which inspires action and increases desire. However, Alpha strategies overlook the simple fact that most situations offer opportunities and cost. Like the rose that has the beauty of the flower and the danger of the thorns. Benefits and risks are a part of every opportunity and as a persuader you need to deal with both. You need to increase the attractiveness of the benefits, while at the same time decreasing resistance to the costs . . . or risks involved.
The basic principle is that most offers or requests create an approach-avoidance conflict in the receiver. Some parts of the appeal are attractive and focus on acceptance, but other aspects are unattractive and create resistance. The decision to accept or to reject an offer depends upon which aspects are dominant. If the attractive benefits outweigh the unattractive disadvantages, then the person will accept the offer, but with some anxiety. If the negative aspects outweigh the positive aspects, then the offer will be rejected, but with some regret. So what you are saying is to look at both sides, the attractiveness of whats on offer and the parts that repel us. She said. Youve basically got it. Well done. . . If the attractive features of an offer greatly outweigh the negative features, then persuasion is unnecessary! Persuasion is required only for those offers where resistance is strong or dominant. Therefore, persuasion is really about reducing someone's resistance to an offer. Wow, I never thought about it like that, is this where most people, including me, get it wrong? She asked. Yes, thats right, said the stranger. Most of the social psychology research, however, focuses on ways to make the attractive parts even more attractive. Some strategies that strengthen the approach include: (a) Make arguments stronger, and more logical (b) Make sources more credible and authoritative (c) Add extra reasons for accepting, such as self-esteem or social status, consistency, or positive regard from others
Good salespeople give their clients opportunities they can take advantage of, and get people to consider new options in ways they wouldn't have otherwise thought of. This is fascinating stuff. She said Im really intrigued. Going back to the bank manager you met today, I call this type a contrarian. This person takes the opposite approach to everything you say. They debate every single point and can be argumentative. They believe they have all the answers. They usually mismatch anything you say. They cant help it they have this as a model of the world and believe this is good, right and normal. Youre absolutely right, what I want to know, is how do you know all this? The woman asked. Ive met them before. They are not that common... about one in one hundred people are like this. They are easy to deal with though. The use of advanced rapport building strategies is the first approach to use when you believe you have this type of person in front of you. Once you have strong rapport and you know the person you are dealing with is a contrary person, ask them to do something so that they can't resist doing it, for example: "I don't suppose you would..." Although this sounds simple, it really only works when you have rapport. In general terms with rapport you can do almost anything without it you can do nothing, unless you are in a strong position of power. Its been said that you can get more done with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. But, if you havent got a gun get rapport.
I see what youre saying. Hearing your words makes me feel as if I already know this on some level deep inside. The young woman replied. The man went on, I think your unconscious knows more than your conscious mind does. And if your unconscious mind knows more about this than your conscious mind does, then you probably know more about it than you think you do. You can avoid resistance by redefining the persuasion situation as more of a joint discussion. Salespeople are advised to redefine their presentations as a two-way interaction, beginning by looking at the interests and needs of the buyer to see if a mutually acceptable basis for doing business can be established. Influence is an interaction between two people who cast each other in specific roles. To side-step resistance, change the role. Every role carries within it certain norms of expected behaviour, as in doctors or car mechanics. By changing the relationship, you can change expectations or even perceptions. Salespeople did this by calling themselves consultants. This implies a degree of professionalism and a long term relationship as opposed to hit and run selling. "buyer-beware" wariness does not translate into "consultee beware!" An influence engineer can disable a persons resistance by casting the resister in the role of "expert." So, the car salesman can say to the resistant client, "Well, you drive for a living, so you know what an advantage it is that this car has the best breaking of any vehicle in its class!" Giving the "expert" role to the customer, places the customer in a double-bind. To maintain his status as an expert, the customer must agree with the salesperson.
That is almost magic. She said, Making the client the expert in a persuasion opportunity means he has to stay consistent in that role because of the commitment and consistency principle in social influence. Im really getting this now. You cant stop, can you? The unknown man continued, Another indirect strategy is to give resistance a common enemy to counter. Focus their resistance on the bad guys (good cop -- bad cop), show them what types of companies to avoid. The structuring of resistance is subtle and important. Resistance is obstinate, but often not very critical. With the contrarian, resistance can be used against itself. Contrarians are the belligerent people of the world. No we are not, they would say. Here are some powerful language patterns for the contrarian. These patterns redirect resistance, the contrarian still resists, but this time they resist the statement, not the person who said it. By acknowledging their reactions you take the wind out of their sails. I know this might be difficult for you to hear . . . You may not like what Im about to say . . . I know you wont want to agree with this, but . . . I know you might not want to believe this, but . . . I know you might not want to do this, but would you mind . . . I know this might be very difficult for you to accept . . .
All this is content free compliance without the use of persuasion. It works because it gives the contrarian another way to be contrary, they feel they can resist as normal. It balances out the resistance. When you acknowledge their resistance it goes away like a puff of smoke in the wind. Contrarians usually reveal themselves at the beginning, when you start the connection phase of the persuasion equation. Also they can be resistant at the end. An influence engineer provides a new focus or makes what the contrarian say no longer effective. Dont fight resistance redirecting it away from you makes it easier to change. Its like when you ask someone not to do something and they feel compelled to do it. Youre saying in effect: I know youre going to be resistant, so put the resistance here. She was frantically making notes in her mind about all of this. He went on, You may not be aware of how much you are learning, and you are learning a lot. And it isnt right for me to tell you, learn this, or learn that, so you can learn whatever you want, in whatever order you wish. She realised he had stopped talking. She looked up, he was gone. Just then the phone rang. Hello, she said. Her secretary told her it was her bank manager on the phone. Put him through. She said. The bank manager advised her to go and see an investor who could be relied on to loan the company money during this downturn in income.
She thanked him, got off the phone and had her secretary phone the investor to make an appointment. She went home tired, that was enough for one day she thought. The next day she was up early for an appointment with her fathers friend and investor. When she arrived, the mans personal assistant showed her into his office. It was an impressive place to work, she thought. Beautiful pictures on the wall of exotic locations around the world. Pictures of yachts, light aircraft, fast cars. No doubt about it, this man liked to travel and was very successful, judging by the gorgeous office furniture and trappings. After what seemed like ten minutes the short man walked into the room upright as if he were trying to appear taller than he was. They exchanged greetings, he offered her a drink, and they got down to business. Your bank manager tells me you need money as business is slow at the moment. She agreed that it was a little slow, but that she was certain things would pick up, they always did. He then told her that all of the business that came into the company was due to her father, no one else. I dont think you or anyone could take his place. He said that it would take years for her to learn what her father knew. And most of what her father knew came from two people. One was a gentleman in England . . . the other was his lifelong friend who could persuade even the most resistant people. I believe you went to England recently. She told him she had and what she had learned from the elderly wise man. Its a pity you fathers best friend isnt still with us. If he were alive you would have a chance to turn your company around. What he knew about influence
could make even a newcomer shine in next to no time. Unfortunately he died without passing on his knowledge. Yes, she replied, he died ten years ago, my father talked about him all the time. I only met him once. I went to his funeral though. Well, Im sorry but I cant help you at this time. If you employ a professional salesperson with a proven track record, bring him here and Ill see what I can do. At this moment in time the risk is too great for me. You havent convinced me theres a way out of this mess. Dejected, she thanked him for his time and decided to return to the office and place an advert for someone who could sell. When she got back the phone rang. She picked it up. On the other end was her mystery man. He spoke quickly this time. Hiring a salesperson will take too long. It would take him months to learn all he needs to know about the company and the products. Besides, the man you just dealt with is an old sceptic. If you knew what I know, he would have given you all the money you need. What do you mean? She asked. And how do you know him? Heres a rule of thumb, always hear the resistance no matter how daft it is and see what it takes to meet it. This man is sceptical about most things. What you do with the sceptic is offer a way out if things dont work out. She had to ask him, Okay, how could I have got the money I need? What guarantee did you offer him? asked the man on the other end of the phone. None, She said. Well, sceptics need to know there is a get out if things go wrong. You could have offered him part equity in the company in return for his
money, should things not work out. Even though cash flow isnt that strong at the moment, I believe things will change very soon. He assured her. A guarantee doesn't make the offering any better. What a guarantee does do is address and remove some of the other persons fears and concerns. One of the ways to turn resistance against itself is to acknowledge it. Usually, persuaders are reluctant to mention resistance, because they think that talking about resistance makes it stronger. Actually, you can easily establish your authority in their world by first acknowledging their fears, failures, and frustrations. Acknowledging their resistance, labelling it, and bringing it out in the open, may have the paradoxical effect of defusing its power and rendering it ineffective. By acknowledging resistance you transform it from a private terror into something you can deal with openly. Can I learn to do this? She felt compelled to ask. His reply shocked her. Dont ask me anymore questions like that because you know, on a deep, unconscious level that you have already learned this. Now, heres another thing that you know. . . resistance may be dealt with indirectly by taking away the need for resistance. Heres what I mean: Did you ask, Why did you agree to an appointment with me? No, she said, I completely missed out on using those questions that reveal the dominant emotions a person has for doing things. You see, the real power of asking, Whats important about . . .? And, Ultimately, what would having that do for you . . .? is that it gives you
something to refer to when you come up against scepticism. People are never sceptical about the answers they give you. Repeating them back is so irresistible. However, the most powerful way of dealing with scepticism is to change the timeframe. Benefits and costs don't have the same decay factor over time. Problems are for today, nothing is permanent. On the other hand... benefits are for a much longer time frame. Get them to picture it six months from now, or even five years from now. The more distant an end result is, the more its assessment is determined by hope and aspiration and the less by fear and inconvenience. So, people view the future optimistically. All you have to do with a sceptic is return to his dominant reasons for helping you, and dwell more on the positive, socially desirable elements, and less on the negative aspects. People, when asked to hand over money now for something they really want, can often be persuaded by the principle, Buy now, pay later! You see this all the time. If you asked for the money three months from now knowing you could survive that long, you would have got it. And it would give you the confidence to go out and get the business you need because youd know you had that money as a backup. So now you know how to deal with the sceptics of this world. I have to go now. And with that he hung up. As she sat there thinking over everything that had just happened. . . she went into a deep trance. In her head she heard a voice saying, Tonight, when you sleep
you may dream. You may have wild dreams . . . you may have exciting dreams. You may have serene dreams . . . you may have boring dreams. Your dreams may be memorable, or they may not. In any case, let them be a sign . . . that you are integrating everything at the unconscious level. So that by this time tomorrow, you will know all you need to know in order to deal with contrarian and or sceptical people. She awoke from her daydream, determined to be the kind of person who does the things successful people do in order to get the results and the life she knew she was capable of having. She recalled something the wise man in England had told her. People with emotional problems are out of rapport with their own unconscious. They have lost touch with their inner selves. People who are in rapport with their other than conscious mind are also in control of their destiny because their shadow self is working with them. He also said, Feeling gratitude, and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. She continued writing in her gratitude journal, and over the next few days noticed a dramatic shift in her consciousness. Life is getting better all the time, she thought. The next day she decided to go and visit her mother, it was Saturday, and it would be nice to spend some time together as she hadnt seen her since her fathers funeral. She phoned ahead to let her know she was on her way. After a cooked breakfast they went for a long walk together in the nearby forest. When they got back the young lady asked her mother what her father would have done about the cash flow problem if hed still been alive. Your father actually left you in this position on purpose. She told her daughter.
What? Oh Yes, Her mother continued, He wanted you to become as resourceful as he was. Furthermore, he wanted to see if you would turn to others in time of need. You see, your father never claimed he was a self-made man. He always accepted help and advice from those closest to him. And he wanted you to discover how persuasive you can be in getting other people to help you. On that note, came the reply, Did father leave you much in his will? Oh yes, he amassed a small fortune along the journey of his life. Obviously, it wasnt always that way. In the beginning, when your father started the business with his partner, we had virtually nothing. They built the company into what it is today. Of course, when his partner died your father was devastated. They had been lifelong friends. Mother, do you think you could loan me the money to keep the business going? Oh I dont know dear. How much do you think you need? About 100,000. Hmmm, that is a lot of money, Im afraid Im not very good at making big decisions, that was always your fathers domain. Leave it with me. Ill have to talk it over with my friends. I just dont know what to do for the best dear. I could help, but Im afraid if I do it might only make things worse. I just dont know. I want to help . . . you know that. I dont want to put you on the spot mother . . . I just thought it would be easier than taking a bank loan, thats all. Her mother said she had to go upstairs to do a few things and then meet a friend later for lunch... Stay if you like, she said, I know you love the country as
much as I do. With that she went upstairs. After a couple of minutes the doorbell rang. She went to answer it. It was the mysterious man again. Hello once again, he said. Is your mother in? Yes she is. And who are you anyway? asked the young woman. Youve never even told me your name. Sorry, yes I should have said, just call me Jacey. How did you get on with your mother, did you get the 100,000? How do you know about that? she asked. Oh, my friends think Im psychic. Ive always have been able to pick up on whats going on around me. He said. No, I didnt get the money, mum couldnt make a decision, Ill have to get it another way. Hmmm, sounds like you came up against the apathetic type. The last of the three types of resistant people. What do you mean apathetic type? And three types of resistant people? I dont understand. And how come you know so much about resistance? A long time ago I used to be in sales. Jacey explained. I couldnt leave home without this kind of knowledge. I discovered early in my career that if I was to make it in selling Id better get some real world knowledge, and not from so called sales trainers. So I made it into a kind of game, like chess. Someone would play against me and make moves Id never seen. When I got over the loss, I went in search of answers. The most important thing I found is that knowledge is the answer to everything. I armed myself by learning about all the possible ways people could refuse and
reject me. There are three types of resistant people, the contrarian and the sceptic Ive already told you about. Now its time to understand the apathetic type. Apathy stems from a lack of self-confidence so therefore they dont want to take a chance. You can help these people to feel better about themselves. Show them where they made a decision that turned out well. You could try asking them what successes they have had in the past. You could also train them to recognise a good product from a bad product. When you help these people feel better about themselves, their resistance disappears. Resistance seems to serve as a self-protective function. When people feel under attack, they will resist. The reverse is also true: When someone feels confident, competent, and secure, there is less need to resist. Therefore, one strategy that will indirectly address resistance is to make people feel more competent, confident, and better about themselves. You could have reminded your mother how she stood by your father and his partner through thick and thin. How she believed in him even when things looked bleak. You would have got your money. If someone is resistant to a suggestion, one effective strategy may be to offer them a choice between two or more alternatives. The illusion of choice is often the best way to help move a person forward. Heres an example: You could either lend me the money Mother, and see the business father built for me to take over taken to new heights, or if you prefer, have your account transfer the amount I asked for so the company would survive and all of fathers hard work wont have been in vain. The illusion was in the phrase, or if you prefer, and it was made stronger by one choice containing growth, and the other, the avoidance of loss. You understand that dont you?
Oh yes, very much so. Its all so clever. Im going to have to practice that. She smiled. Then he said, If you think back on what I just told you, your unconscious mind can relax while your conscious mind reviews this information, and when a relevant and interesting thought reaches your conscious mind, you can begin to know how this all fits together. Do you think you could give me a lift back to your office? He asked her. Of course I can, I was just thinking of going back there myself. Ive got a lot of work to do to turn this situation around. With that she drove him downtown, they chatted about nothing special, she dropped him off close to her companys building. When she got back into her office her secretary was waiting. Youve had two phone calls from that new account you wanted to open. She said. Youd better call him back now. She made the call. It turned out their current supplier had let them down and they wanted to see what she could do. I cant promise anything, said the buyer, But call in tomorrow at noon and well talk. She couldnt believe her ears. Here was an opportunity to make her mark. That night she went home and carefully considered what to wear. Ill need to look business-like, not too revealing, but not too prim either. The next day, she got to work early. There waiting in her office was Jacey. How did you get in? She asked. Never mind, you probably already know what happened yesterday, thats why youre here, right? Yep. Weve got some preparation to do. Preparation? She questioned.
Its not the will to win that counts, its the will to prepare to win that makes the difference between stars and superstars. They went through the persuasion equation mental model from the perspective of the buyer, and the perspective of the persuader. Next they went through and planned their plot points in reverse order. Begin with the end in mind. Jacey told her. I believe you are ready. Wish me luck. She said. His reply shell always remember. Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. And now that you have a current persuasion opportunity, go and perform your magic. She went, and spent one hour with her future client. Turns out he was all three of the resistance types of people wrapped into one. No wonder her father had had trouble persuading this man. She succeeded in securing business to the value of one million pounds. She had not only saved the company, she had taken it to newer and greater heights. When she got back she met with all the heads of department, managers, and directors. When she revealed her success they were amazed. She said, As my father would say, if at first you succeed, try to hide your astonishment. So now they all knew that she was the new boss; she had proved her worth in the eyes of those around her. Now all she had to do was find Jacey. She wanted him to know all about her success, and maybe even offer him a contract as a consultant to her company. She called through to her secretary to see if she had Jaceys phone number, she couldnt wait to tell him the news.
Who? Asked the secretary. I dont know anyone by that name. You know, the man who was in my office early this morning. She replied. There was no one in your office this morning. I should know, they would have had to get past me first. You must have made a mistake. Look in the visitors book, his name will be in there. Hes been coming to the office quite regularly over the last two weeks. A few minutes later, her secretary bought in the visitors book, showed that there was no one who had signed in with the name Jacey, or anything like it. But, you put a call through to me just two days ago. No I didnt, her secretary assured her. Whoever this man is, no one has seen him, heard of him, or knows anything about him. Confused she called her mother. Again there was no recollection of anyone at her house when shed visited on Saturday. I heard you talking downstairs. I just assumed you were upset with me for not making a decision. Anyway Im so pleased to hear your good news. Your father would have been very proud of you. As her mother was talking, something in her office caught her eye. We can call it her office now that she has really and truly taken over the business. Actually it was still her fathers office . . . she hadnt got around changing any of the decor. She noticed a picture on the wall. As it was quite a big picture, she wondered why she hadnt noticed it before. There were two men in the photo laughing. One was her father and the other one was . . . the mystery man she was looking for. Mum, theres a picture on the wall here, Fathers in it, and so is the man who was at your house that day. It looks like Jacey, do you know him?
Describe him to me, Said her mother. She did a great job of describing the tall, handsome, softly spoken man who stood next to her father in the picture. Thats Jason Clarke, your fathers lifelong friend and business partner. Her mother told her. But hes dead, said the young woman. Oh yes, said her mother, Killed in a flying accident, oh, must be ten years ago now. Such a lovely man. He was the one who got the company going in the early days. There was nobody he couldnt persuade if he wanted to. An utterly charming man. His death was a huge loss to your father, and the company. And there under the picture was a small brass plate with the name Jason Clarke, Co-founder of the company. J.C. Jason Clarke. Stunned, she hung up the phone and sat down. She remembered all Jaceys words, the help and guidance hed so freely given her. The many tools that she now had for influencing anyone, anytime she needed to would stay with her, remaining forever indelibly etched into her mind. Imagine that were all given a bucket of oysters in our lives. Every oyster could potentially contain a pearl. We struggle to open each oyster, some hurt us, some are painful to prise open, and some make us stronger in the process. Time after time we open our oysters, only to find them empty. But as we open each one, we learn another valuable lesson. A lesson so profound, that when we finally get to the one oyster in the bucket that contains a pearl . . . we are ready to appreciate its magnificence. She had found her pearl. She had learned what it took to really persuade people to do the things that were good for them. And as she continued on her journey
through life with this pearl of knowledge and wisdom, she felt profoundly grateful for all that she had, and for all that she was becoming. She remembered her father telling her when she was just six years old:
Your life is only as ordinary as you allow it to be so be extraordinary in all that you do.
Chapter 14 Learning to Learn Fast

Imagine you are sitting in an aeroplane and its about to land. You hear a womans voice over the loudspeaker system. Both pilots on the plane are down with food poisoning. They stayed overnight at a hotel and must have eaten something that was off. Does anyone have any experience flying planes? A few moments go by . . . you feel a hand on your shoulder, a woman whispers your ear, We see from your records that you have some experience with machines. We were wondering, as its only 10 minutes to landing, if you could take the controls for us? You get up and go with the stewardess, dazed at the request. After sitting in the pilots seat, you look at all the dials, totally confused. You dont understand any of it. All these people on board are now relying on you to bring the plane down safely. The seconds go by . . . 10 9 8 . . . you glance around quickly . . . 7 6 5 . . . you hear someone come into the cabin. A mans voice says, Its okay, Ill take over from here. I was in the toilet when I heard the announcement. I flew planes for British Airways for over 25 years, so you are okay to go back to your seat, thank you. The sense of relief overwhelms you as you return to your seat and strap yourself in. You can try going it alone out there in this world full of resistant people, lacking any understanding of how to navigate through peoples minds to get what you want. Or you can trust the writings of an expert who knows how to land the big deals, persuade the toughest people, and bring you success, time after time. I urge you to go over this material again and again. Why? Because Ive been learning, practicing, and perfecting these persuasion skills for over 25 years. During the last four years I was mentored by Kenrick Cleveland, probably the worlds most expensive sales trainer. The fees for his elite coaching programme and his advanced coaching programme, (Ive been on both), are in excess of $15,000 a year. Kenricks speciality is hypnotic language patterns, heres an example: I once had a person tell me that they began to zoom in on the strategies I was teaching them, and as they did so, they recalled a time in their life when they were working with a coach, a coach that impacted their life favourably, positively, and immensely.
To this day they look upon that coach as they would a father, and that coach looked deeply into their eyes and told them something that persisted year after year, that stayed with them, and that they remember to this day. He said, As you become aware of the way in which you can permanently create the kind of persuasive power that you need and want all the time, you begin to feel your confidence developing, and your self-esteem growing and expanding, and you think back on the times in your life when you had difficulty with those issues, and find them simply vanishing like shadows fading away. They simply melt like snow while you extract from them the necessary lessons to help you learn, and in the blink of an eye they're gone, to be replaced with memories from the future of using these skills with dramatic power and covertly accomplishing your goals over and over again. Its so easy for these skills to pop back into your mind and into your consciousness, sometimes when you least expect it, and certainly when you need it, and its enjoyable, and you use them with power, always remembering the integrity and honesty and congruency that makes using these skills most effective. I have to agree with him, knowing these skills on the level of everyday behaviour puts you in the incredibly powerful position of being able to persuade almost anyone. Also some people will try to exploit you. That's a fact of life. You may remember what I said in the preface about a boxer having to being able to defend himself, as well as being able to punch. Its the same with these skills. Today I can spot a con-man a mile away. Youll be able to as well, once you have integrated these skills into your on-going behaviour. I'm curious, now that you've read this far, I wonder if you ever made a decision that was so good, and worked so well, it was right on the money and, as you think of it now, put yourself there again. You can use that decision to form a framework in your mind, a way of thinking, a course directing you right into what youre about to realise using these same strategies. Because, theres something very important I want you to know about. Stuart Goodship and I have created some light and sound recordings to complement and augment this book.
What these will do is take you up to the next level in persuasion and beyond. Weve done this for two very important reasons, the second of which is more critical than the first. Although the first reason is vitally important also. Several years ago I read a fascinating book on marketing called The New Positioning by Al Reis and Jack Trout. What I read will astound you and maybe even change the way you think about persuasion. The authors prove conclusively once and for all that we remember more of what we hear than what we see. You, like me, may be sceptical at this point. So heres an example: Can you remember your mother or fathers voice? The answer Im certain is yes. How about what they were wearing the last time you spoke with them? What are the colour of your husband/wife/significant others eyes? Can you remember them telling you they loved you? Sound sticks to us better than images. Radio advertising is stronger than print advertising. Okay you may recall the saying a picture is worth a thousand words. Funny how there is no picture that goes with those words. It was Confucius who was recorded as saying that. Actually what he said was, a picture is worth a thousand pieces of gold. This makes more sense when you think about art being valuable as it was in his day and how it is now. Also dont you think its odd that there are very few pictures of Confucius? Have you ever seen one? The thing is that saying has lasted over 2,500 years! On the subject of radio, I find it interesting that even though we have the internet at broadband speed and more, thousands of people all over the world still listen to radio. Have you ever wondered why? I think its because we like the sounds of music and voice, even though for many its in the background, they put the radio on to keep them company. Theres plenty of evidence of sound being used to heal all sorts of illnesses. Many years ago, vicars would put the sick into an altered state of consciousness and then use certain types of language structures to heal them. This we know today as hypnotism. In fact hypnotherapists have mainly words to use to get patients to stop smoking, lose weight, vanquish fears and phobias and much more. So you can see that sound plays a very important part in our lives. If I were given the choice of being blind or being deaf, I would choose blindness. At least I would still be able to communicate with others. Deafness is a form of isolation and that is one of mankinds biggest fears. Thats why solitary confinement works so well as a threat to prisoners.
Knowing all of this is the reason we created light and sound sessions to put persuasion into your mind without any effort on your part. If you think of this book and all of the written material that goes with this adventure in learning as coal, then the light and sound sessions are the diamonds. With them you will sparkle your persuasion to life every time. Youll dazzle the people you persuade and outshine your competition. These sessions are the best of their kind available anywhere in the world. In just six listenings of any of the sessions you WILL behaviouralise your new skills. The first person youll shock is you. I have a wonderful saying: if at first you succeed try to hide your astonishment. These sessions are so powerful there is no need for you to read, study, or practice anything. Weve done all the hard work for you. The we includes myself, and my amazingly talented friend Stuart Goodship, author of Thought Viruses. Stuarts backing tracks allow this information to be planted like a seed in the fertile ground of your mind and to grow into full blown world-class persuasion skills in next to no time. How Light and Sound Works Heres a summary of the technology involved from Controlling the Mind - tools for peak performance, by Dr. Nick Begich. There are two separate elements working together. Starting with the sound, there are two binaural beats, one cancels out the other because theyre an octave apart. In the case of the light, the pulse rate matches the cancelled sound beat so they are harmonised. This combination is quite powerful in creating the Frequency Following Response. This FFR affects human behaviour via the Brain. The light flickers and the brain locks onto the flicker rate and entrains to the flickering, thus altering your mental state to one where it can absorb information very rapidly. Incidentally, this state can be reached with very little training. The two senses we rely most on for learning are sight and sound... we need to see and hear things in order to learn. Let me take you back twenty years to when Thomas Budznski developed a system for rapid learning using light and sound. The technical term is Auditory and Visual Stimulation (AVS). How AVS technology is applied
Recently Stanford University held a convention with experts from all over the world to explain how AVS installs knowledge deep inside your mind. Using a light and sound machine that stimulates your eyes and ears with advanced computer technology allows your brain to learn fast. Specially designed glasses are used incorporating soft flashing lights set at specific angles and distances from the eye. The lights flash at preset frequencies along with specific sounds set one octave apart. This causes the mind to either go into more energetic, or a deeply relaxed state. Its like looking at a warm, glowing, gently flickering flame, while listening to soothing music. Your mind goes into a relaxed, altered state. Why Not the Best? Our carefully crafted, guided light and sound sessions put you into the ideal learning state. Using linguistic structures that bypass your conscious mind, we give back your child-like ability to quickly and easily absorb and learn these world-class persuasion strategies. Its push button learning at its best, because at the push of a button you can relax your way to mastery. We install in your mind all that youll need in order to rise rapidly to the top of your game and be the best. Its as effortless as breathing. Youll have greater clarity in everything you do. In every area of your life youll be able to persuade others to do what you want, when you want. Theres no more stress face to face when youre with someone you want to influence. Youll easily recall and use all youve learned during your integration and relaxation, light and sound sessions. The first time you use one of these sessions youll reach a new learning level. We do all the work for you. All you need to do is relax, and well install your new elite persuasion skills in your mind as easily as you install software on your computer. Your business life will change forever when you know how to use the secrets of todays top professional persuaders. And thats exactly what our light and sound sessions are designed to do as theyre all a part of this learning adventure. Id like you to think about places in your life where you could really use persuasion to get more of what you want for yourself. And lets bring this right
home as you imagine yourself using these skills of persuasion that youll soon be learning. Youll gain in so many ways when you have these proven strategies. Youll make more money... youll be more popular... more persuasive in all areas of your life. Strategically powerful when you need and want to be. All because you learned, really learned, new and powerful ways to persuade more people, more often. In closing let me ask you this: Just suppose you had five times, ten times, or even twenty times the ability that you currently have to persuade. Your Influence IQ would now be world-class. Think of some of the good things that would happen for you as a result. And as your mind dwells on even just one or two of these things. . . note how it builds an ever increasing desire to continue your learning. Youll discover even more amazing ways to get your own way. And as you think about how much better your life is becoming as a result of having more of these skills, I want you to remind yourself from time to time, maybe when you are passing a particular road on your way to the office or on the way home. Or maybe when you hear a familiar sound thats pleasant, that youre doing well. And let it stimulate and motivate you to do even better still. Now go out and persuade others, get more of the things you deserve by serving others powerfully. Be honest, full of integrity and always give your best. As mentioned earlier, the latest findings show that all that you give is given back to you. You brain cannot tell the difference between you giving or you receiving. Heres a question for you: What would you like to receive? Whatever your answer is go out into the world and give that.
Chapter 15 What to do After Your Current Persuasion Opportunity

Did I visualise my success before the persuasion opportunity? Yes No
Did I detect and use their unconscious hello? Yes No
Did I establish subconscious rapport using energy strategies, pink bubble, etc? Yes No
Did I match their voice tonality, tempo, volume, intensity and intonation patterns? Yes No
Was the frame of reference set by: me __________ them __________ Did I use a warm, deeper tone of voice while implanting my suggestions? Yes No
Was I able to tune myself into their non-verbal signals that indicate a particular state (for example, the mood that they are in). Yes No
(This is really about matching the energy of a person when you first meet them, and is done instinctively and unconsciously.) Was I able to determine their representational system, (visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, unspecified), and match them for a short while before leading them to my representational system? Yes No
Was I able to match their moods, opinions and beliefs? Yes No
What were their dominant emotional reasons for wanting what I was offering? ________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ Did I ask the following questions?
What prompted you to invite me here today?
Yes
No
After using verbal expanders did I ask:
What's important about (their first answer)?
Yes
No
Again using verbal expanders and softening statements, did I ask:
So ultimately, what would having, (their second answer) do for you?
Yes
No
Did I discover whether these were "away from a problem" answers or "towards a desired outcome" answers?
Yes
No
If they were moving away from a problem did I ask the questions - so what's it like not being able to have...? Yes No
If they were moving towards a goal did I ask how does that feel? Yes No
Was I able to link their answers to these with me and my product? Yes No
Did I tell my who I am and why Im here doing what I do story? Yes No
What social influence strategies did I use? ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ Did I find a common enemy? Yes No
Write a language pattern I used ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________
Resources
Here are some valuable learning aids for your on-going mastery in the field of Influence Intelligence. Listen to each of the four Relaxation and Integration sessions one at a time. Spend one week on each for month one, and then repeat. Read anything on the Heros Journey. There are lots of resources on the Internet. Two of my favourite books on this subject are The Writers Journey by Christopher Vogler and The Hero Within by Carol S. Pearson. PH.D. Watch films like Avatar, Star Wars, The Matrix, Lord of the Rings, WaterWorld, Groundhog Day, and The Never Ending Story. All of these films are based on the Heros Journey. If you want to really dig deep, then get the book The Hero With a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell. This story framework can be the most powerful persuasion tool in your repertoire when you fully understand it and integrate it. It helps build rapport faster than practically anything else you can do. Other books that are exceptional guides to greater story telling are: 20 Master plots by Ronald B Tobias, a collection of the most used story lines in books and films to add to your growing repertoire. The Story Factor by Annette Simmons, is a beyond brilliant guide to turn you into a powerful story telling persuader. Thats it. Now its up to you to go over this material, listen to the recorded sessions, and get hold of these books. But dont just look and listen devour, and your life will be the greatest thing youve ever imagined.

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About the Author

Copyright 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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Copyright 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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Chapter 1 The Persuasion Elite

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Chapter 2 Motivating Emotions

Diagram one The Four Core Motivators

Diagram 2 - The Persuasion Equation

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Chapter 3 The Need to Protect

The First Hurdle of Persuasion

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Chapter 4 The Need to Connect

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Chapter 5 Deep Rapport

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Chapter 6 Mastering Rapport

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The Lullaby Effect

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The Three Story Lines

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Facing the Elements

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Chapter 7 The Need to Learn

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Chapter 8 The Science of Compliance

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Chapter 9 Social Influence in Action

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Write a language pattern I used