Shit happens from a religious perspective

Agnosticism Maybe there is shit or maybe it happens; then again, maybe not. Altruism Let me give you my shit. Americanism Who gives a shit? Amish Shit dost occur. Neil Armstrong This is one small shit for me, but one giant heap for mankind. Atheism I don't believe this shit. Baptist You are shitting wrong, therefore you'll be punished. Buddhism If shit happens, it really isn't shit. Capitalism Shit happens, and it'll cost you! Catholicism If shit happens, you deserved it. Communism It's everybody's shit. Computerism Why won't this fucking shit work? Confucianism Confucius say, "Shit happens." Constipation My shit just won't happen.

Darwinism We came up from shit. Deja Vu I think this shit happened before, but I'm not sure. Descartes I shit therefore I am. Dyslexianism Hits shapnep. Egotism My shit is the only shit that matters. Empiricism Shit only happens if I see it happen. Environmentalism Recycle this shit. Existentialism Shit doesn't happen; shit just is. Feminism Men are shit. Hare Krishnaism Shit happens shit happens shit happens rama rama. Hedonism Fuck that shit; let's party! Hinduism This shit is not a religion. It is a Way of Life. Idealism That shit's all in your mind. Islam If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

Jehovah's Witnesses Let me in your house and I'll tell you why shit happens. Judaism Why does this shit always happen to us? Jungianism All shit that happens is an aspect of the archetypical shit generated consensually by the mass subconscious. Kierkegaard This shit is highly improbable; therefore, we should believe it happens. Libertarianism Keep your hands off of my shit. Lutheranism Catholicism is shit. Materialism Whoever dies with the most shit wins. Murphism Shit always happens at the worst possible time and place. Narcissism My shit don't stink. New Age This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate. Newton's Second Law You have to push to make shit happen. Neitzscheism If you're not bermenschen, you're shit. Nihilism Everything is shit.

Optimism This shit, too, will pass. Paganism Shit is a part of nature and makes things grow. Pessimism That shit is bound to happen. Pragmaticism It may be shit, but it works. Psychology I can help you deal with the shit that is happening. Rastafarian Let's smoke the shit. Shakespeare To shit or not to shit, that is the question. Shinto Shit is everywhere. So as long as you're stepping in it, show it some respect. Stoicism Shit happens - deal with it. Taoism The shit that happens is not the true shit. Totalitarianism Shit doesn't happen unless we say so. Voodooism Shit doesn't just happen somebody dumped it on you. Zen What is the sound of shit happening?