The writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.

-Dr. Seuss

Hacker Chapter 16 Wordy Sentences Hacker Chapter 17 Appropriate Language Hacker Chapter 18 Exact Words

 Watch the video clip

How are the rules for wordy sentences,

appropriate language, and exact words broken?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V97c_Vx-NFo

 Eliminate redundancies

Daniel is now employed at a private rehabilitation center working as a registered physical therapist. Daniel works at a private rehabilitation center as a registered physical therapist. Sylvia very hurriedly scribbled her name, address, and phone number on a greasy napkin. Sylvia scribbled her name, address, and phone number on a greasy napkin.

 Avoid unnecessary repetition of words

Our fifth patient, in room six, is a mentally ill patient. Our fifth patient, in room six, is mentally ill. The best teachers help each student become a better student both academically and emotionally. The best teachers help each student grow both academically and emotionally.

 Cut empty or inflated phrases

Pg. 157-158

 Simplify the structure especially by avoiding be

verbs and there is, are, was, were Investigators were involved in studying the effect of classical music on unborn babies. Investigators studied the effect of classical music on unborn babies. All too often, athletes with marginal academic skills have been recruited by our coaches. All too often, our coaches have recruited athletes with marginal academic skills.

 Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to single

words We took a side trip to Monticello, which was the home of Thomas Jefferson. We took a side trip to Monticello, the home of Thomas Jefferson.

 Stay away from jargon (list pg 162)

We outsourced the work to an outfit in Ohio because we didnt have the bandwidth to tackle it in-house. We hired a company in Ohio because we had too few employees to do the work. The CEO should dialogue with investors about partnering with clients to purchase land in economically deprived zones. The CEO should talk with investors about working with clients to buy land in poor neighborhoods.

 Avoid pretentious language

Taylors employment of multihued means of expression draws back the curtains and lets slip the nostalgic vantage point from which she observes American society as well as her lack of comprehension of economic realities. Taylors use of colorful language reveals that she has a nostalgic view of American society and does not understand economic realities.

 Avoid most euphemisms

Nice-sounding words or phrases substituted for words

thought to sound harsh or ugly Pg. 163

Avoid doublespeak
Deliberately evasive or deceptive language
Downsizing = firing employees

 Avoid sexist language

Pg. 168 Rather than use too many he/she his/her, use plural

Best to rewrite sentence to avoid problem completely

 Revise language that may offend groups of people

Many Oriental immigrants have recently settled in our town. Many Asian immigrants have recently settled in our town.

 Select words with appropriate connotations

When American soldiers returned home after World War II, many women abandoned their jobs in favor of marriage. When American soldiers returned home after World War II, many women left their jobs in favor of marriage.

 Prefer specific concrete nouns

Thing, area, aspect, factor, individual, etc.

The senator spoke about the challenges of the future: the environment and world peace. The senator spoke about the challenges of the future: pollution, dwindling resources, and terrorism.

 Do not misuse words

These days the training required for a ballet dancer is all-absorbent. These days the training required for a ballet dancer is all-absorbing.

 Use Standard Idioms

Speech forms that follow no easily specified rules Pg 174

 Do not rely heavily on clichs

Pg. 176

Use figures of speech with care

Similes & metaphors

 How are the rules for wordy sentences,

appropriate language, and exact words broken?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V97c_Vx-NFo

Give handout

Intentionally break all the rules for wordy sentences, appropriate language, and finding exact words by rewriting the lyrics to a song.

 Classical Argument Presentations