The greatest hindrance to answered prayer

Mark 11:25
“And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your
Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

"But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the
wrongs you have done." (Matthew 6:15)

1. Key to good mental health

A key to good mental health is the ability to handle hostile feelings.

We don't forgive just to obey God's commands. We forgive in order
to be happy because we benefit the most. Naturally we can't be
forgiving toward others unless we can be forgiving toward ourselves.
Some harbour grudges, roasting them over coals of bitterness and
self-pity until they have appetites for little else.

2. Christ on the cross is the supreme example of forgiveness

(Luke 23:34). Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they
do

The scriptures abound with commands to forgive our fellowman

(Matthew 5:39;

“…That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to
him the other also.”

Colossians 3:13).

“Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel
against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye”

If we don't forgive others, neither will God forgive our wrongs

(Matthew 6:15); and we are ALL sinners (1John 1:8).

"He who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he
must pass himself" (George Herbert).

The parable of the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18:23-25 teaches

the necessity of forgiveness if we hope to be forgiven.

3. Forgiveness is the epitome of love and is impossible without it.

Anyone can love those who are nice to him. Loving those who have
wronged him is a different matter. When we forgive, we forget
 because REMEMBERED FORGIVENESS RE-INFECTS THE WOUND. We
should treat forgiveness as a cancelled note: tear it up and burn it.
RESENTMENT comes from two Latin words ("re" meaning back and
"sentire" meaning to feel). It is reliving or feeling previous emotions.
A wound must be thoroughly cleansed of resentment if it should
heal properly. In reality, resentment hurts the one who feels it.

4. When it hurts so bad can we forgive?

When a person who has hurt us comes in humble penitence,

begging for forgiveness for his wrongs, the proper feelings on our
part are not too difficult to evoke. When we have been hurt so
deeply and the one who offended us is either indifferent or refuses
to admit his transgressions, we STILL must forgive. (Note the
example of Christ on the cross.)

We forgive others, not for what they are, but for what we are
(Christians). And we are not paragons of self-righteous mercy who
sit high and mighty on our thrones, charitably bestowing our
forgiveness upon those who have hurt us much as king grants
pardon to his lowly subjects.

Sometimes the hurt is so deep that all our rational powers will not-
CANNOT-call forth complete forgiveness. Oh, we may intellectually
forgive with the part which we can control; but sometimes the hurt
is so very deep that the conscious part of our minds simply cannot
penetrate the core of our beings – that part which reacts
instinctively instead of reasoning.

5. What if a loved one hurt us?

Quite often “reflective hurt” lies deep within not because someone
has wronged US but one of our loved ones. Forgiveness in such an
instance is a SUPREME TEST of our true Christianity. Although we
may forgive with our rational powers, the injured part of our beings,
down deep inside, simply will not surrender.

It is at a time such as this (when we want to forgive but cannot) that

we must cast ourselves upon the grace of God, begging for His help
in creating within us a new heart and renewing the right spirit

(Psalm 51:10). “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit
within me”
When we reach the nadir of our own ability and throw ourselves at
the feet of God for His mercy, realising that we are sinners just as
much as the one who has wronged us or our loved ones because WE
are unable to forgive, we CAN achieve previously unattainable
strength forgiveness in such an instance is a crowning achievement
of our Christianity.

Our human natures stand as roadblocks in doing what our minds

have been conditioned to do through His word. When we reach the
point that we realise that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak
(Matthew 26:41), we can cry unto God: “Father, I want to forgive but
I can’t. Please help me.” Then we achieve real strength because we
know that forgiveness does not come entirely through our own will
or might but because we are aware of our inadequacies and throw
ourselves at the mercy of God. “For when I am weak, then I am
strong” (2Corinthians 12:10).