Guidelines For Life (Happy Kids)

Ready Set Happy
Fun, skill-building activities for children,

their parents, caregivers, teachers,
and all of us, based on the...
v1.5ENG5Mar09
16 Guidelines for Life

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy p I-
Note from the Foundation for Developing Compassion and Wisdom (FDCW)
Children: You
may skip to
page I-4
This publication, Ready Set Happy, is part of the Children's Kit, a set of materials to support
children and their families to develop compassion and wisdom, by integrating the 16 Guidelines
for Life into their lives. The Kit was created to enable adults to present the Guidelines to children
aged 7-11 years of any faith tradition or none worldwide, or for use by children reading on their
own. The Kit is being made available for pilot use with an invitation to contribute feedback and
additional material. It will grow to include additional stories, songs, meditations, images and other
activities. It will be evaluated and revised prior to further dissemination and translation.
Ready Set Happy was commissioned as a part of Essential Education (EE), an international
initiative to help people everywhere develop their natural capacity to be kind and wise. This will be
achieved by providing resources, training and support for use in a wide variety of settings: schools, the
workplace, prisons, hospices, the home – wherever people live and learn. EE is an initiative of the
Foundation for Developing Compassion and Wisdom.
Feedback/Contact
Please contact us with your reflections, suggestions, success stories, quotes from children, ideas
for activities and resources related to the16 Guidelines for Life. You can join the mailing list at
www.essential-education.org, send an email to info@essential-education.org or write to Alison
Murdoch, Director, Foundation for Developing Compassion and Wisdom, 43 Renfrew Road, London
SE11 4NA. Please note this is RSH edition number: v1.5ENG5Mar09.
Ready Set Happy

First Published in Great Britain in 2008 by
Essential Education, an initiative of the
Foundation for Developing Compassion and Wisdom
43 Renfrew Road, London SE11 4NA
© Foundation for Developing Compassion and Wisdom, March 2008

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy p I-1
Gratitude
to all those who helped to make Ready Set Happy possible.
Thanks to all those who helped

by being photographed.
Those who helped in other ways:
Illustrations, poems, plays, chants, photos, songs,

activities, graphic design, initial sound recording and text
by Denise Flora with help from Caeman Toombs
(several photos with permission by Lindsay Stark or others
as noted, some activities from earlier EE projects).
First field tests by the children at Kadampa Center, USA.
Editing by Wendy Ridley, FDCW.
Project supervision by Nova Coleman,
Information Officer for FDCW.
Project direction by Alison Murdoch, Director of FDCW.
Operational support for EE initiatives by Terrapinn.

Contents Ready Set Happy
Introduction
Meet the Character Guides
Activities
Games, poetry, chants, science experiments, art projects, puzzles,
and more to experience, practice and live these 16 skills:
Part I:
Part IV:
How we find Meaning in Life - How we Think -

steadies us in a changing world. determines how we feel
inside ourselves.
13 Principles
14 Aspiration 1 Humility
15 Service 2 Patience
16 Courage 3 Contentment
4 Delight
Part III: Part II:
How we Relate to Others - How we Act -

connects us to our community. impacts on ourselves and others.
9 Respect 5 Kindness
10 Forgiveness 6 Honesty
11 Gratitude 7 Generosity
12 Responsibility 8 Thoughtful Speech
Extras
A way to begin: One family's experience with the 16 Guidelines A1
One page summaries: Definitions, Chants, Song Links and more A2
Coloring sheets/Gamecards: Pages to print for the matching activities A3

Introduction
To the children:
Ready Set Happy is full of things to try, do, draw, play,
make, read, say, act, sing and learn that can help you to be
happy more of the time. Try some of the games with your
friends or family. The Character Guides on the next page will
help you along. Check out the activities and have fun!
To the parents and caregivers:

Happiness is a skill that can be learned. Give this book to your children, or
explore it with them, maybe an hour a week for 16 weeks so you reflect on
one guideline per week. Enjoy the plays, poems, art projects, science
experiments, puzzles, games, the Instant Replay review questions, the
process and the results! To teach by example, put these16 guidelines into
practice yourselves – modelling and enjoying the skill of happiness!
To the teachers:
These activities targeted for ages 7-11 years can be adapted for individual or groups of children in a
broader range of ages. They are intended to develop skills that can help children to be happier. Use in
school, spiritual and religious classes, after-school clubs, playgroups, home schooling, anywhere
children gather to learn about the world. Get creative! Make it your own.
To all: order, conventions and more

Using the sections 'in order' is recommended but not required. 'Try it now'
activities take about half an hour or less. 'Try it for real' activities get carried
into daily life and often span a week. The Positive Chants of the character
guides are to be spoken or sung over and over, emphasizing bold syllables
while chanting. For more on how to begin, see Appendix 1.
See Appendix 2 for one page summaries. For the latest audio files, click on the purple
note symbol or go to http://www.16guidelines.org/wiki/index.php/Ready_Set_Happy .
Print all pages in color for best results. Save paper by printing multiple pdf pages to a
single page of paper. Links will move/break -- that's life. Please let us know with an email to
info@essential-education.org, and realize, everything changes.
To learn more about EE go to www.essential-education.org . For much more about what people all
over the world are doing with the guidelines, including the new wiki, or to read more about the
guidelines themselves, go to http://www.16guidelines.org.
May all who see this work find more happiness in their lives
for themselves and their families, communities, and world.
Denise Flora
USA
February 2008

How we Think
Hutri Humility Peglo Patience Cona Contentment Deba Delight

How we Act
Kaipo Kindness Hodi Honesty Genca Generosity Spibu

Thoughtful-Speech
How we Relate
Resco Respect Fola Forgiveness Graca Gratitude Riche Responsibility

How we find Meaning
Prindi Principles Asta Aspiration Serzo Service Cofi Courage

Part I : How we Think
1 Humility
2 Patience
Let me think.
3 Contentment
How do I feel
about that?
4 Delight
How we think...
determines how we feel inside ourselves.

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy I: How We Think 1 Humility p 1-
Guideline 1 : Humility
► Humility 1
► Patience
► Contentment
► Delight
► Kindness
► Honesty
► Generosity
► Thoughtful Speech
► Respect
► Forgiveness
► Gratitude
► Responsibility
► Principles
► Aspiration
► Service
► Courage

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy I: How We Think 1 Humility p 1-1
Character Guide: Hutri Humility
Hutri learns
.
ilit y means.. from all and knows
Hu m
iet that each leaf is important to
os se s si ng a qu
P
w h i ch al l ows help the tree.
h
strengt
to l e arn from
us s
b o d y , keep s u
every oo prou
d,
e i ng t
from b not
d r e m i nds us
an s if
h i n k o r act a
to t n
r e b etter tha
we a
eopl e.
other p
Positive Chants from each
guide will help you to
remember the most important
ideas. Say these over and
over to remember them.
Each of you gives

me a lesson.
After three classes of learning about Humility

and chanting “Each of you gives me a lesson,”
a young student named Lilli said with a smile,
“That is stuck in my head!” And I said, “That's
just where I want it because that's where it can
do the most good!”

What a Waste !
a short play about two waste

collectors to be read aloud
by two people
Jo: Alex:
I'm tired of this job.
What's the problem?
It used to be fun driving the truck.
Now I just don't want to do it.
Well, it's nice to be outside all day...
Yeah, when it's not hot, or cold, or
raining....and I have to get up so
early! And worst of all, people say,
“Oh, you're a waste collector,” like
I'm waste myself. I've had it.
I think our job is one of the most
important in the city.
Are you crazy? Important?
Sure! Imagine if no one took this all

away. The city would smell terrible and
shut down. It happened once when a
storm closed the roads. Sure, it may
not be fun work, but it's really
important. Different people take care
of other things we need; I take care of
this. It's my city, and I help keep it
clean. You do, too.
(thinking, then smiling):
What has four wheels and flies?
Our city-cleaning waste and recycling
truck!

Humility Activities
Try it now: Illusions --

are things always what they seem?
Have you seen an optical illusion, such as a picture

where straight lines seem curved, or the shape which
looks like a face then a vase? I wonder if you have seen
a road on a hot day that looked like it had water on it, but
when you got closer it was dry.
Right side up? Upside down?
Our eyes can play tricks on us and so can our

minds. Sometimes we think we know something
and then we realize we don't. Optical illusions can
be fun if they are special effects in a movie or in a
magic show. But sometimes the tricks our minds
play cause us to be unhappy. They can make us
think someone is trying to be difficult when they
really are not. Or they give us the feeling we are the
only important person in a situation. Here is an
experiment to try as you think about what you really
know, and how you decide you know it:
Experiment: Broken Straw
Get a clear glass with smooth sides. Fill it halfway with water. Put in
something straight like a straw or a stick. Hold the glass up so you are
looking at the same level as the water.
Does it look like the straight object is bent or broken at the surface?
Do you think it really is? Could it be that the object breaks and rejoins
when you take it out? Are you sure? How do you KNOW?
Try other liquids like corn syrup or vinegar, is it any different? Which is
bigger, the list of things you know or the list of things you don't know?

Try it now: Meet the 'How we Think' Guides.
Sixteen character guides will each

help you to learn about a guideline
that starts with the same sound as
their name. The ‘How we Think’
guides are Hutri Humility, Peglo
Patience, Cona Contentment, and
Deba Delight. The last syllable of
many of their first names has Art Project: 1234
something to do with their shapes.
I wonder if you can guess that
connection for each one....the answer Print out the drawing (page A3-1) of the four
is at the end of this Humility section. ‘How we Think’ characters. Color the page
as you think about if you are already being
humble, patient, content, and delighted or if
you could practice a little more. Glue the
page to thicker paper if you have it, then cut
along the lines to make four cards to use in
the game below..
Story: King Harmen
Read a fable that introduces all 16 of the Character

Guides: “The Gift of King Harmen” here or at
http://www.16guidelines.org/wiki/index.php/For_Children
Game: Matching/Concentration
Make two sets of cards in the Art Project above. The thicker paper is important so you
can't see through the back side of the cards. Play the matching game ‘Concentration’
by placing all the cards face down, taking turns turning over two at a time to try to find
the same characters. If you find a match, say something about the guideline before
you take up the set. You could give an example of when you or someone else showed
that quality this week, or when you wish you had. Keep taking turns until all pairs are
matched. In later activities you will make more cards to use to play this game. Try it
as a cooperative game and see how few turns you need to match them all.
When you finish playing put the cards up on the wall or fridge, one at a time, to keep
one guideline in mind each week.

Try it now: Improve your 'Vision'.
Your mind is your window to the world. You experience everything through your mind, your
outlook, your attitude, your assumptions, and your knowledge. You can improve your mind,
your attention, and what you notice.
Game: Trained Observer
Wherever you are, stop reading and look around you right now, soaking it all in,
then come back.
Close your eyes and make a mental list of

everything you saw. Take your time. Open
your eyes and see what you missed.
Practice and you will improve!
You could play this as a game where one

person studies the area, then closes their
eyes. The second person asks a question
that would be easy to answer if eyes were
open. Take turns. See if you can improve
your ability to notice details before you close
your eyes.
Try it for real: Each of you gives me a lesson.
This week see if you can keep in mind that every

person you meet (and maybe some of the animals and
plants) has a lesson for you personally. Put aside
what you think you know about them so you can see
what that lesson is. You may not think that the person
who is slow to do something you want done right now
is being your teacher, but you have a choice to see
this as a way to practice patience. The people doing
simple jobs around you have just as much to teach as
those with the most exciting jobs. Tall trees survive a
long time because each leaf humbly does its job.
Look around. Listen. Learn. Start a journal to record
your thoughts. You may be surprised by what you
have learned by the end of these activities.
Contact us to share what you learned. We would LOVE to hear from you. You can reach us
at info@essential-education.org or the mailing address in the introductory pages.

Try it for real: As if our work were great and noble
Helen Keller, USA, a tireless campaigner for the

disabled and others said, “I long to accomplish great
and noble tasks, but it is my chief duty to accomplish
humble tasks as though they were great and noble.”
You may have chores or jobs to do this week. Can you

start to train your mind to think of the benefit they bring
and the honor of doing them? I wonder if you can act
great and noble while doing them. If it helps, imagine
yourself wearing a crown or medals on your chest.
This takes time, so don't worry if it doesn't work right

away. The important thing is to make a little progress.
When we tried this at my house we didn't transform the
first time, but we did laugh a little as we sang, “Here
comes the queen, here comes the king!” as we emptied
the trash.
Try it for real: Many versions of reality
Experiment: 20 words
Do you know who you are? This might seem a

silly question. Ask five people who know you to
write who you are in 20 words or less. Don't give
them more information than that. Before you
read what they have written, write down your own
description of yourself.
The friends, teachers, and family members we asked to try this experiment all wrote
positive things (they knew we would be reading it!) yet each had a different point of view
and mentioned at least one thing that no one else listed.
Some comments even seemed opposites. For example, one person said “keen
observer”, which means noticing everything, while another called the same child
“absent-minded” which means so deep in thought as to not notice anything...

At times when the children read the “Who are
"I didn't know You?” responses they said, "That definitely
describes me," while other times they said,
they would "I didn't know they would think of that word to
describe me."
think of that
Most descriptions did not involve unchangeable
word to physical characteristics, but were focused on how
we act. “So, if I want to change who I am, I can
describe me." just change how I act!” one child said. How
empowering!
When you try this I wonder if you will learn that who 'you' are is not set, not exact and may
even be the opposite depending on who you ask. You can relax and don't need to boast or
defend the idea of 'you', because the idea of 'you' is very flexible. Don’t be stuck in an old
view of you, you are free to evolve, grow, improve, aspire.
Story: Blind Men and the Elephant
You might like to read the story “The Blind Men and the Elephant,” from your
library or online at a link like these:
http://www.spiritual-education.org/blindmenelephants.pdf or
http://www.jainworld.com/education/stories25.asp .
Many versions of this story

exist. How many can you
find? It is a story about how
seven blind men each
touching a different part of
an elephant thought it was
seven different things.
We often understand only
a small portion of reality but
think or act as if we
understand it all.
See if you can notice a time

this week when you and a
friend have a different point
of view about something.

Instant Replay for Humility:
What is a way to be
happier about doing
jobs you don't want What questions do
Who can you learn from? to do? you have about
Who can you teach? Humility?
Why?
Can practice Who are you?

improve a Who do
person's others say you
mind? are?
What kind of jobs Is there anyone

are important? you can't learn
from?
I wonder if you
What might people
think the photo with
mean when they
the big trees was a
say, “things aren't
good choice to
always what they
represent
seem”?
'Humility'.
Answer to the character guide name/shape connection--
Hutri He's part of a tree, doing humble, important work to help make food.
Peglo He's a globe, mostly water, symbol of tolerance and unity. Seasons come in their own time.
Cona Apple starts with 'A', a simple, natural, healthy food, and the Spanish word for apple is
manzana, and
Deba She's a balloon, symbol for celebration, the only purpose of which is to bring delight!
The group symbol for How we Think is a thought bubble called Pensa, from the Spanish 'pensar'
meaning 'to think'.

Guideline 2 : Patience
► Humility
► Patience 2
► Contentment
► Delight
► Kindness
► Honesty
► Generosity
► Respect
► Forgiveness
► Gratitude
► Responsibility
► Principles
► Aspiration
► Service
► Courage

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy I : How We Think 2 Patience p 2-1
Character Guide: Peglo Patience
Peglo waits calmly,

ns...
Patie nce mea trusting changes take time.
i me. He values each life
ta k i n g our t
Cal ml y u r reacti o
ns and the planet.
lli n g o
Contro p i ng ou
r
an d k e e
e ac e o f mi nd.
p
rni ng
to l e r ant, l ea
Bei ng l condi ti
ons
u nt i
to wai t or change
s.
h t f
are ri g y.
l u i ng d i versi t Positive Chants from
Va each guide will help you to
remember the most important
ideas. Say these over and
over to remember them.
I'm like water, patient, still,

searching for the path downhill.
Water is always looking for the path

to flow on its way, always ready to
move when conditions are right, but
it is calm and still while it waits. The
surface of the earth is mostly water,
and we are mostly water, too, about
70%, so go with the flow!

Poetry Pillars
Points of View
(how we think...
about a book on medicinal plants)
A book on plants, a simple thing,

it sits right next to me.
You'd think on what it really is
we'd easily agree.
But like so many bigger things

we don't all see the same,
each viewer who describes the book Patience Puzzle
may choose a different name. (assembling the Truth)
This book is called 'a mountain' to Am I the only one to judge

an ant upon the ground. what's real in what I see?
Doc Jo might say it's 'medicine' or can I pause and take a breath
to cure a snake-bit hound. or maybe two or three?
Some bugs would eat the book for lunch. For if I practice patience now,
I'd rather read an hour. not rushing to my view,
My dad said, “Use it as a tool I may just learn another has
to press a special flower.” a point that's also true.
My brother said, “Think what it was So tell me what the world is like
while it was still a tree. from where you are today
And think of how it looks today and if I do the same for you
and what will someday be.” we'll both know more that way.
So if we rip some pages out And if we ask some others who

and tear off half the back are from another place
at what point is the 'bookness' gone we'll gain another piece of truth
and what will bring it back? with each new voice and face.
Can it be tree and cure and food? So keep your patience ready
What's real about this book? as you name what fills your view.
It may take many points of view The truth comes unassembled
And not just my first look! and the rest is up to you!

Patience Activities
Try it now: I'm Melting!
This is an activity to help you

learn more about yourself.
Experiment : Mental Meltdown
Put a small ice cube on a plate in front of you.

How long do you think it will take to melt?
Make a guess and write it down. If you do it
with a friend you can see who guesses closest.
If you don't have an ice cube put some sand in
a bag then make a small hole in the bag so it
leaks out very slowly. Can you guess how long
it will take to empty?
Use a clock or count the seconds out loud.

Watch to see how long this really takes.
Not only are you watching the ice cube or sand, you are watching your own mind. Do you get
fidgety? Is it hard to concentrate? Maybe it is easy for you. I wonder what you notice about
the thoughts that drift into your head. So much is going on in there! Are you surprised how
your mind bounces from one thing to the next? How close was your guess to the right time?
If you try it again you will probably get closer, and you may concentrate better, too, but it does
take practice!
Try it now: Brain control

18 ... 19 ... 20 !
You can play this game with a
friend, or you can do it by
yourself and try to beat your
own score. Game: 20 Breaths
Sit comfortably on the floor or in a chair, but don't

lie down, you might get so relaxed you fall
asleep! See if you can breathe normally and
count your breaths. Breathe in, out, one.
Breathe in, out, two. Try to count to 20 breaths.
How many breaths can you count before you
lose your concentration and forget where you
are? This is harder than it sounds!

Try it now: Variety Garden
Sometimes we get impatient with people who are different from us, or judge them before
we even know them. Here is an activity to show the value of differences.
Art Project: Diversity
Gather some colored pencils, or

crayons or paints. Draw three
pictures of a garden of flowers -
one picture using only one color
crayon, the second with two
colors, and the third with as
many colors as you like. What
do you notice about each of the
three pictures?
Try it for real: Watch yourself!
This week I wonder if you can catch yourself being

impatient. If you have to wait for anything or anyone,
use “Brain Control” to help you wait patiently. If you are
impatient when someone speaks an opinion different
from yours, remember “Variety Garden” and how
boring it would be if everyone were the same.
Remember the poem “Points of View” in this section
and the chant “Each of You Gives me a Lesson” from
Humility. What can this person’s point of view teach
you? Listen actively and openly. By noticing when you
are impatient you will begin to feel more patient.
The Dalai Lama, a well known Buddhist leader living in exile said, “Many people think that to
be patient is a sign of weakness. I think that is a mistake. It is anger that is a sign of
weakness.” Impatient moments come and go like the seasons. If you are in an argument and
you notice your impatience, smile to yourself. You are evolving. You have taken a step in a
better direction.

Try it for real: Tread lightly.
For billions of years the earth has been here, patiently

turning, sustaining us. Many lives exist on this planet
dependent on the change of seasons. Each life is
precious, and we do not want to waste what we have
so we need to tread lightly on this earth.
Use this week to think how you can reduce what is

wasted, reuse rather than throw away, and recycle.
Can you buy things with less packaging? Can you
turn off lights or running water you are not using? Can
you write notes or print from the computer on the back
of used paper instead of getting a new sheet? Can
you recycle something you have been throwing away?
Can you walk or cycle instead of going by car? Can
you help so food does not get wasted or start a
recycling program at your school? Can you pick up
waste that might be dangerous to wildlife?
Think of something you can do where you are. Then

do it!! If you are living a simple life and there are no
changes to make, be patient with the rest of us.
Changes take time, so have patience.
Try it for real: Be like Water.
Experiment: Go with the flow
If possible, watch the water coming out of a garden hose.

Spray the water watching how the drops gather where they
land. How do they move after that? Do they run uphill or
down? Do they go around objects or over them? In curved
lines or straight? You can also do this experiment in a
container or in the sink to save water.
As you go through the week, if you notice yourself feeling frustrated about something you are
trying to do but just can’t do (like getting that low note on your trombone, or doing the
butterfly kick at the swimming pool), don't stress out -- allow yourself to be patient. Maybe
the conditions are not right yet. Take another path, keep going but try other ways to get to
your goal. Keep building muscles, or knowledge, ask for help from a parent or caregiver, a
friend, an expert. Don't give up, and you will make progress. Go with the flow!

Instant Replay for Patience:
What can you do if

you feel impatient
with a person or a What questions
situation? do you have
How busy is your
mind even if you about Patience?
are resting?
What can you

do to help tread
lightly on this
What might you do planet?
to improve your
concentration?
How can being like

water help you to
be happier?
Would you rather
be in a classroom of
people just like
yourself or in a Do you feel
diverse group? inwardly stronger
Why? I wonder if you think when you are angry
the photo of someone or when you are
threading a needle was patient?
a good choice to
represent 'Patience'.

Guideline 3 : Contentment
► Humility ► Respect
► Patience ► Forgiveness
► Contentment 3 ► Gratitude
► Delight ► Responsibility
► Kindness ► Principles
► Honesty ► Aspiration
► Generosity ► Service
► Thoughtful Speech ► Courage

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy I: How We Think 3 Contentment p 3-1
Character Guide: Cona Contentment
Cona appreciates
n s... how much she has already,
ten tm ent mea
Con have
so she doesn't need
e
ec i ati ng al l w to grab for more.
Ap p r l ooki ng
to
a d o f
i nste g we w
ant.
t t h i n
the nex
joy .
w i th a qui et
Li vi ng
.
t i o n. Bal ance
a
M oder i t.
ot o v erdoi ng
N
Positive chants
from each guide
will help you to remember
the most important ideas.
Say these over and over to
remember them.
I have what I need,

if I don't feed my greed.
Remember the fortune cookie that says,

“It isn't our position but our disposition that
makes us happy.”

Belly Blues Song
When I see something

I like a lot
I want to remember
I'm glad for what I've got.
If I don't look out,
if I am unwise,
I might take too much,
and end up twice my size!
Greedy makes me sorry.

It gives me the blues.
Take, take, take
makes my tummy ache.
(Take, take, take
makes my tummy ache.)
I I I I
IV IV I I
*Note: V7 IV I I*
These are the words/chords for a 12-bar blues song. Ask a music teacher to explain it to you.
We are working on re-recording this and the chants. See Appendix 2 for updates, click the note
symbol above or go to http://www.16guidelines.org/wiki/index.php/Ready_Set_Happy and click
on Sound Files to hear the latest version of the Belly Blues and the 16 Positive Chants!
If you want to play along, the Blues is in E (of course) and the Chants use C and Csus4.
Where is that music teacher...

Contentment Activities
Try it now:
Cool...
Clear...
Water...
Photo by Caeman Toombs, 10yrs.
Experiment: Not taking water for granted
Get two clean glasses of water as well as some soil from outside. Set one glass
of water aside to drink later. Put a few scoops of soil into the other glass. Stir up
the soil and IMAGINE while the dirt is swirling around that you don't have any
clean water to drink. IMAGINE that you have to drink that water. Don't really
drink it, but look at it. REALLY look at it.
Put the dirty glass to the side and get the clean glass of water. Take your time
and drink the clean water slowly. Appreciate it. Taste it.
To practice your patience, watch the dirty glass until the soil settles to the bottom.
Imagine your mind is calming as the water is clearing. When you are calm and
the water is clear, pour out the dirty water onto a plant that can use it.
Aren't you glad you had a clean glass of water to

drink? Realize that many people in the world do not
have clean water to drink every day. If it was easy for
you to get clean water you are very fortunate. Next
time you are sad or angry because you can't have
exactly what you want to drink, perhaps you can be
content if clean clear water is available.

Try it now: What's on your A List?
People say that contentment is not getting

everything you want, but realizing what you
already have. Often people who win the lottery
are only happier for a short time before settling
back to their original happiness level. Try the
game below to raise your happiness level for
more than just a short time. That's better than
winning the lottery!
A
You have probably seen movies
or read books where people
realize what is important to
them by almost losing it.
They may get separated from their family and then be so happy when
they get back together. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could feel that
happiness without first having to feel the loss of separation?
Game: Counting Blessings
What is important to you? What would you be sad to lose? Think about, or write
down, things in your life that you would be really happy to get back if you were
separated from them. Call this your A list.
To play this as a game, sit in a circle and take turns saying people or things on your
A list. See how long you can go without repeating anything. It's fine to list toys and
possessions, but don't forget family, and your physical gifts like sight, health, youth,
and things you like to do or have learned, like how to read or walk!
While playing this game we

learned we care about a lot
of the same things. Then
we learned we like drawing
Cona!

Try it now: Too much of a good thing
Imagine: Built-in Goodness
Take your time to think of a favorite food of yours.

Something that you really LOVE. Is this food good?
Is it good by its very nature? Does it have goodness
built in? Imagine you get this food every day for a
week. Would it still be good? Good in the same
way? What if it was the only food you ate for a
week. For a month. How do you feel about it now?
At some point even your favorite food doesn't sound good

anymore. The food itself is not good or bad, it is how you
feel about it, and that is mostly in your mind. That doesn't
mean you shouldn't enjoy it when you get it – go ahead
and enjoy! Be happy! But at those times when you can't
have it, remember that it's not as deep down wonderful as
you sometimes imagine. This is true of things other than
food, too. One child said, “It's like winning at a game. It's
fun to win, but if you win all the time it's just boring.”
Try it for real: Am I really hungry?
Are you in the habit of eating at certain times or taking

second helpings, whether or not you are hungry? If so,
explain to your parents/caregivers that just for a day, you
want to eat only when you are truly hungry. Listen to your
body. When you eat, once you are no longer actively
hungry, stop eating, even if you have food left. For a
healthy person doing a normal amount of activity, it will
not hurt for one day, even to skip a meal.
Knowing what real hunger feels like will help you to be more content when you have to wait a
while to eat, and to appreciate the situation of those who deal with real hunger every day.
You will know that you can manage in a situation where plans change. Mahatma Gandhi, a
famous Indian politician who believed in non-violence, said, “There is enough in the world for
everyone's need, but not for anyone's greed.”

Try it for real: The best meal I ever ate!
Have you heard someone say how food tasted better when they
“Thank were very hungry? Perhaps it was because they were really
goodness, focusing on what they were eating and not just being a robot,
eating mindlessly. In our family, before every meal we say,
we get to “Thank goodness, we get to eat again!” It sounds silly, but we
eat again!” mean it! Try the experiment below to learn to be more aware
and savor all your experiences, not just those involving food.
Experiment: Experience your food
Choose a meal (or even a snack) when you are not in a

hurry. As you eat, concentrate on every mouthful of food.
Chew each bite a lot, really taste it. Don't read or talk or
watch television. Maybe close your eyes. Focus hard on
what you are eating. Did it seem any different than when
you eat in the regular way? Sometimes people do this
when they want to eat less because they taste their food
more and feel full sooner. How did it feel to you?
Try it for real: On the Rocks -- I have what I need if I don't feed my greed.
If you are fortunate enough to have a soft drink soon, think about this.
When you pour the drink into a glass it takes time for the bubbles to
settle. You may wait and pour more, trying to squeeze as much as
you can into the glass. What if your glass were a little smaller? Your
glass would already be full! You'd be done! Don't worry about getting
so much. Try being content with the first bit. It's probably enough.
Just because your glass is big doesn't mean you need to fill it up.
Have you seen children playing with rocks when someone wants the
same rock and argues over it? It lasts until something else shows
up...maybe a frog or a ball...then no one wants the rock anymore.
Did the rock magically change? Only the desire for it changed.
Notice this week when this sort of thing is happening to you or others.
Our wants, disappointments, and jealousies are mostly in our own
imagination, based on false ideas of how great it would be to have that
full glass or that rock! Watch how you react so you can be more
content in these situations.

Instant Replay for Contentment:
Would it be
possible to get
everything you What questions
Have you ever
want? do you have
seen anyone
If you did, would about
you be happy? Contentment?
fighting over a
rock or stick?
Where in your
life is
Is there a way to moderation
raise your needed?
happiness level?
How can you enjoy

Does your favorite your food more?
food have built-in
goodness?
How is Contentment
I wonder if you think
related to
the photo of the boy
moderation,
refusing sweets was a
balance, and not
good choice to
overdoing it?
represent
'Contentment'.
One ten-year-old said, “Being content makes it easier to enjoy someone else's achievements
because you're happy where you are. Why would you be jealous?” And I said, “Well, that
leads us right into the next guideline...Delight...”

Guideline 4 : Delight
► Contentment ► Gratitude
► Delight 4 ► Responsibility

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy I: How We Think 4 Delight p 4-1
Character Guide: Deba Delight
means ... Deba enjoys

D elight
y
ng i n e very da herself and celebrates
R ejoi ci l e beaut
y the joy in others' lives.
s i m p
fun, the d
ar o u n d us, an
al l oy s.
t i n g b i gger j
cel eb ra
i n e s s for our
Hap p s
d e x p eri ence
own go o
ood Positive chants
d j o y i n the g help you remember
an rs.
t u n e s of othe the most important ideas
for when you chant them
over and over.
No need to wait,
let's celebrate!
My joy times two,
when I'm happy for YOU!
At times, being happy for others can

be more pure than happiness for
ourselves because we are less likely
to worry how long it will last.

Giggle Rap
If you're little or you're grown

you have got a funny bone
and you can giggle......yeah, yeah, yeah.
If it's bubbles or a swing,

or balloons, just find your thing
and you can giggle.....yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rainbows in the light

or stars may give delight
so find your giggle......yeah, yeah, yeah.
Music is a treat
or a puppy's big old feet
can make you giggle....yeah, yeah, yeah.
Waves of ocean foam

or an ice cream on a cone
can make you giggle....yeah, yeah, yeah.
Flowers on your path,

silly jokes that make you laugh
take time to giggle......yeah, yeah, yeah.
Help another smile this way

for a double joy today
and share a giggle.... Oh, yeah!

Delight Activities
Try it now: The Art of Joy
What gives you joy? What delights you?

What looks or sounds or smells or feels or
tastes so incredible it makes you glad to
be alive?
Art Project:
Sit quietly for a moment, maybe

close your eyes, and think about
simple things that make you happy.
Write a list of these small joyful
things.
Now you can draw, paint, or use
magazine clippings to make a
collage of these things. Or, you
could go out and take pictures if you
have a camera, or write a poem or
rap about these ideas. Choose the
form that sounds fun to you.
I hope you will be happy when you look at what

you have created. The purpose of this is not to
please or to be judged by anyone else. It's for
you. Enjoy it!
This page is what I had fun creating with my

camera; I am delighted by crunchy fall leaves,
brilliant sunsets and happy, giggling children!

* the underlined words
are links you can click on
Try it now: Just be happy – light and water to see more pictures.
I saw a quote that suggested sometimes we

should stop working on being happy and
JUST BE HAPPY. Look at the list you made
in the Art of Joy. Can you do any of those
things right now? Do you know a pet you can
play with? Can you blow some bubbles and
see the rainbows they make in the sun? Try
one of these outside activities depending on
what the weather is like where you are today.
Experiment: Bubbles in the sun
If you don't have any bubble solution, you can

make it in a bowl by mixing liquid soap and
two to three parts water. Bend a wire or twist
tie into a circle. Dip it in the liquid, stir it up
and blow rainbows* in the sun. Experiment
with the amount of water and the shape of the
wire. Blow slowly and steadily to get bigger
bubbles! If you have two wires one person
can blow while the other uses their wire to
catch the bubbles without breaking them.
Investigate: Splashes in the rain
If it is not lightning, look outside for funny places

the water is dripping or rushing down gutters, off
an awning, off the cars. Listen to the drip drip
drip. Look for intersecting splash circles of
multiple raindrops. See the crowns the drops
make when they hit something hard. Open your
'new eyes'!
See splash pictures I took by searching the

internet for 'splature' (splash+capture) or clicking
the picture at the right. See other people's photos
by searching 'macro liquid' or 'splash'.

Try it now: Upside down laughs
This game will make you laugh. It's fun and easy once you get the idea.
Game: Little chin person
With a friend or family member as your

partner, lie on the floor on your sides with
faces close to each other and feet pointing in
opposite directions. You will look upside down
to each other. Look at your partner's chin.
Imagine their chin is a forehead, so the bottom

part of their face looks like a little upside down
person. This person's mouth is your partner's
mouth, but it's upside down and looks funny
when they talk. It may help to use your hand
so you can't see your partner's nose and eyes
at first. Smile, talk, make faces. See the 'chin
person' talking . Bet you'll laugh! We did!
Try it for real: Reflecting on New Delights
This week see if you can

find something new that
brings you or someone
else delight. At the end of
each day, think back to
what you saw, heard or
felt that was joyous. You
might want to add this to
your “A list” you made in
the Contentment section.

Try it for real: My joy times two, when I'm happy for you
Good things happen to us sometimes. Other times the victory goes to someone else. If we
can find joy in both of these, we get more joy overall! You have already thought about things
that give you joy. Now can you focus on rejoicing in the good fortune and delight of others?
This is the opposite of being jealous or envious. Realize that everyone has a desire to be
happy. Next time someone has a victory, for instance if you lose a chess game to them, tell
them, “Congratulations!”
Jane Goodall, a British

anthropologist who studied
primates, said, “Every
individual matters. Every
individual has a role to play.
Every individual makes a
difference.”
This week notice when you see good things happening to others-- when someone gets a
compliment, or learns something new, or makes a goal for their team, or gets a new toy they
really like. You can be quietly glad for them, or you could take it a step further and tell them,
“Congratulations! Way to go! I see your hard work paid off! I'm happy for you!” or you could
write them a note about it. If you can develop this skill, and take joy in others' victories as well
as your own, your delight will multiply many times.
Try it for real: Take it Outside
Wherever you are in the world, with very few exceptions, you can see these delightful sights
and more: sunrises, sunlight on dew (look very closely at the grass after a rain or dewfall, it's
awesome!), rainbows in the sky or near fountains, colorful storm clouds or sunsets, a clear
night sky with a moon or stars. Can you see one of these free delights this week, and share
the excitement of it with someone nearby? Then you will enjoy it twice!

Instant Replay for Delight:
What was the most

surprising place in
which you found What questions
Is there beauty in the something beautiful? do you have
sun and the rain?
about Delight?
Can you see with 'new
eyes'?
What makes you

giggle?
Did you discover
any new joys this
week?
What were they?
Could you see the

upside down chin
person?
Did you point out

and share any
delights with others What is the same and
this week? different about the
How did it feel? I wonder if you think two types of
the photo of two delight-- for
children playing in ourselves and for the
ocean waves was a victories of others?
good choice to
represent 'Delight'.

Part II : How we Act
5 Kindness
6 Honesty
How we
7 Generosity act...
8 Thoughtful Speech
has impacts on .
How we act...
impacts on ourselves and others.

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy II: How We Act 5 Kindness p 5-
Guideline 5 : Kindness
► Kindness 5 ► Principles

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy II: How We Act 5 Kindness p 5-1
Character Guide: Kaipo Kindness
Kaipo cares
about others and acts
ans...
Kind ness me in a considerate and
thoughtful way.
others
Hel pi ng y
appy b
to b e h el l .
at i ng them w
tre
e
den rul
The gol .
s forms
i n al l i t
The guides' positive chants

help you to remember the
most important ideas. Say
these over and over to
remember them.
Care for others.

Keep trying.
You might like to read one of the

picture books recommended by your
local library for fiction or non-fiction
books illustrating Kindness.
(click here for one such library site)

Thinking Ahead at the Diamond Clinic
a short play set at a busy emergency veterinary
hospital to be read aloud by three people
Dr. Lee: (as she is running from the waiting room

with the rabbit in it to the treatment room where
the iguana is waiting) I'll be right there. Keep the
icepack around 'Bunny' till he cools down then I'll
come to check him again. He's still overheated
from the ride to the hospital.
Assistant Amber: Alright. Don't worry fella, you'll

be better in no time. We'll take good care of you here.
Dr. Lee: (after some time in the

treatment room) Alison, please bring
me a sterile pack and finish wrapping
up this iguana's tail. I need to check
on that cat we are monitoring.
Assistant Alison: I'd be happy to.
Dr. Lee: (to Alison) Thank you. (to the iguana) That should help. (to the owner)
It was good of you to bring him in. He'll be feeling better in a few days.
Amber: (thinking to herself as she calculates the fee for an old black dog who is
ready to go home) Dr. Lee loaned me this calculator a
while ago, and she will need it to process the readings
on the cat. (Amber closes the door as the dog and its
owner leave, takes the calculator, steps into the hall
where Dr. Lee is moving between rooms, and slips it
into Dr Lee’s pocket as they pass each other).
Dr. Lee (smiling over her shoulder, continuing to walk)

Thank you, Amber, that was really helpful. That was
thinking ahead! Very kind of you.
Amber (smiling, too): My pleasure. I'd better get

back to check on that rabbit!

Kindness Activities
1
Try it now: Make a Golden Rule.
If you were in charge of the world, and you could make only
one rule, what would it be? What would be so important that
you might call it the golden rule? Take a minute to think about
this before you read on.
People in many parts of the world and across time

include the idea of treating others with kindness as
part of their philosophy or religion. Sometimes this
is called the Golden Rule. It can be summarized as
“treating others how you would like to be treated,”
or “treating others the way they would like to be
treated,” or “not harming others in ways you would
not like to be harmed.“ How might having such a
rule help a person or a group of people?
What phrase is used in your culture or faith?
Thank you for the directions. So kind!
Art Project: Golden Ruler
Can you make a symbol of this Golden Rule? For instance you could make a gold-
colored ruler with a reminder phrase on it.
Choose a phrase to use, either 'golden rule' or 'kindness' or a phrase you create or
another you have heard, or one of the many you can find online such as in the
articles here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethic_of_reciprocity or here:
http://www.bahainyc.org/presentations/goldenrule/index.html
Make the basis of the ruler from a real ruler, or a piece of cardboard cut into the
general shape of a ruler, or even a thick piece of paper.
Color it gold or yellow with whatever you have -- gold foil from chocolate bars or
from a craft store, gold paint, gold glitter and glue, a gold colored crayon, or
markers. Add your phrase.
Keep it where you will be
ss; d o no harm. reminded every day to be kind

dne
Show kin
and considerate of others.
Go for the gold!

Try it now: Meet the 'How we Act' Guides.
The character guides each help you to learn about a

guideline that starts with the same sound as their name.
The ‘How we Act’ guides are Kaipo Kindness, Hodi
Honesty, Genca Generosity, and Spibu Thoughtful-
Speech. The last syllable of many of their first names
has something to do with their shapes. I wonder if you
can guess that connection for each one....the answer
is at the end of this Kindness section.
Art Project:
5678
Print the drawing (page A3-2) of the four

‘How we Act’ characters. Color the page
and think about how your actions affect
those around you. Consider if you already
act in a way that is kind, honest, generous,
and thoughtful about your words or if you
could practice a little more. Glue the page
to thicker paper if you have it, then cut along
Would you like a turn? Thanks for sharing!
the lines to make four cards to use in the
game below.
by placing all the cards (including those you may have made from other sections) face
down, taking turns turning over two at a time to try to find the same characters. If you
find a match, say something about the guideline before you take up the set. You could
give an example of when you or someone else showed that quality this week, or when
you wish you had. Keep taking turns until all pairs are matched. In later activities you
can make more cards to use to play this game. Try it as a cooperative game and see
how few turns you need to match them all.

Try it now: Project kindness, reflect some to yourself.
How does it feel when someone is kind to you? Imagine the difference you can make every
day by developing an attitude of kindness in your life. Can you be a positive example,
a ray of sunshine to a friend in need? What might that feel like? Even smiling at the bus
driver or picking up something someone drops can make a difference to their day.
When our children walk out the door for school we

say, “I hope you have an awesome day, and I hope
you make it that way for someone else.” This
usually involves a hug! It reminds us of our power
to affect the day for ourselves and others.
It is also important to be kind to yourself. What

does that mean? It might involve not expecting
yourself to be perfect. Not worrying about the
grade so much as the learning. Try your best! But
if you mess up, don't beat yourself up, just notice
it, fix it if you can, apologize if that makes sense,
and decide to do better next time.
Game: Way to go, you did well!
Some days thinking of what’s on your 'done' list is more encouraging than thinking of
what’s on your 'to do' list. Be kind to yourself right now by thinking of four things you
did really well this week. Congratulations on your efforts! To play as a game with a
small group, each person can write each of their accomplishments on a small piece
of paper. Collect and pass them out randomly. Take turns going around the circle
reading the papers for an anonymous celebration of good efforts.
Try it for real: Kindness is good medicine, Neighbor!
Studies by American, British, Canadian and Australian

scientists all confirm that kindness can be good for our
health. Read about it by clicking here. Having connections
with our neighbors where we do things for each other like
taking care of each other's pets seems to increase our ability
to avoid getting sick and to live longer. So being kind is good
medicine! Can you go with your parents or caregivers to
introduce yourself and get to know more of your neighbors?
Try to learn some new names and faces this week. If you
already know your neighbors, can you do them a favor?
Put the 'neighbor' back in neighborhood.

Try it for real: Kind (rather than King) for a Day
Set a goal for yourself of going a whole day thinking

about the happiness of others not just yourself. How
many 'good turns' can you do? If you can't help, at
least don't harm. What challenges do you expect at
home and at school while you are being kind?
One person often thought of as kind is Mother Teresa,

an Albanian nun who served in India. She said, “The
poverty of the West is loneliness and indifference.
There is hunger for ordinary bread, and there is hunger
for love, for kindness and for thoughtfulness - and this
is the great poverty that makes people suffer so much.”
If you spend a whole day thinking of others you may
help to reduce this hunger.
Try it for real: Pay it forward with Deliberate Acts of Kindness.
Once you have been “Kind for a Day” you may like to try something in a more organized way.
You can click on the three underlined headings below or search the internet to learn more
about three kindness efforts other young people are doing, then try them yourself.
Random Acts of Kindness

Have you heard of the phrase “random acts of kindness”? What do you think it means?
Random acts are when you do something kind that's unexpected, and the person you do
it for may not even know it was you. You will feel happy doing it, and they will feel happy
and surprised when they realize someone has done something nice for them. You can
change the world a little for the better.
Action: Act I Random Acts of Kindness
This week look for ways to perform random acts of kindness. There are many
ideas at the link above, or you could ...
Leave flowers at someone's door but don't let them see you deliver them.
Pay for someone whose parking time has expired.
Refill your dog's water or do another household job without being asked.
Do something nice for an elderly neighbor – anonymously if you can.

Pay it Forward
The idea of Pay it Forward came from the novel by Catherine Ryan Hyde in which a twelve-
year-old changed the world outside and within himself by three big acts of kindness. Instead
of being paid back he asked the people to do something for three others. If they did, that
would mean nine people affected the next round, then 27 and so on.
Action: Act II Pay it Forward
Pay it forward yourself by doing three kind acts and if those whom you help want to
pay you back, ask them instead to pay it forward to three more people.
Loving Kindness Peaceful Youth

An international youth movement started in part in reaction to the massacre at Columbine
High school, Colorado, USA, they call their actions Deliberate Acts of Kindness.
Action: Act III Deliberate Acts of Kindness
Here are a few Deliberate Acts you could try. Click on the LKPY link heading
above for more.
If someone is walking toward you along the street, smile at them.
If people are waiting behind you at a water fountain, let them go ahead.
Hold a door open for someone.
Say hello to any 'invisible' people you see
the cleaning crew, the lunch servers at school,
the person holding the 'slow' sign at a road construction,
the postal worker, the waste collectors, etc.
Invite a new student at school to sit with you at lunch or on the bus
or to play with you.
Be nice to the teacher. Especially the one who takes the place of your
regular teacher when they have to be absent!!
Let us know what you did and

how you felt about it. When
people see kindness, it makes
them feel like being kind, too.
Go out and start something!

Instant Replay for Kindness:

the photo of a child
holding a door open
was a good choice
What questions to
to represent
represent'Kindness'...
'Kindness'.
How can you encourage
do you have
a culture of kindness?
about Kindness?
What is the
Golden Rule? All the world's a How can you be
Why do you think stage... kind to yourself?
it is called that?
William
Shakespeare
Can being kind make Where can you get

you healthier? more ideas about kind
Happier? things you can do?
How?
Does it matter if What would your

people know you were the community be like if
one who did something everyone did something
kind for them? kind each day?
Name/shape connection answer--

Kaipo She's based on the red crystal symbol for hospitals in conflict zones (which was a plus
sign, the red cross --positive) Think of a polished diamond.
Hodi He's a coin, representing honest dealings with money. Money in Spanish is dinero.
Genca She is a cornucopia, a horn of plenty. Symbol of generosity, plenty, and sharing.
Spibu He's a speech bubble representing words thought or spoken, plus a wisdom symbol.
The group symbol for 'How we Act', Dramo, is a theater comedy mask.

Guideline 6 : Honesty
► Honesty 6 ► Aspiration

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy II: How We Act 6 Honesty p 6-1
Character Guide: Hodi Honesty
Hodi trades fairly

... and tells the truth.
y means
H onest
h.
l l i ng t he trut
Te
ai r and
Bei ng f
ble in
honora i th
u r d e a l i ngs w
o d
p l e, m oney an
pe o
i ons.
possess
remember them.
Honesty works
best for me.
Honesty is very practical for me.

It's easy to remember what I have
told everyone if I just tell the truth.

Pocket Change Chant
Ching ching ching --

Can you hear the coins that ring
clinking in my pocket?
Can you hear coins begging, MORE
taunting, Life is rough you'll
never have e- nough! --
O the spell that it can hold
over us this silver/ gold!
Who remembers what is real ?
That can help us not to steal...
Free us from the money sting.
Taking, hoarding, lost in fear,
not enjoying what's right here.
Coins so greedy for attention,
crying wolf with bad intention.
Then our need is real but no coins
left to help us heal. --
Ching ching ching -- What
'precious' are we clinging to that
makes us throw a- way the truth?
What is it we're grasping for with
hands that spend our youth? --
Money can be strange. -- So
cling to truth with both your hands. Let
go of pocket change! --
How do we decide if truth or money is more important?

Honesty Activities
Try it now: Honesty in Black, White and

Shades of Grey
Some actions are honest – like returning a lost wallet or

cell phone -- and some are dishonest – like saying you
didn't break something when you did. Some situations
make it hard to tell what is honest. Is it alright to keep
coins found on the ground at school? What if they were
found on a city street? Or on the floor in your home?
The conversation below explores these 'grey' areas.
Conversation: Black White and Grey
Add your own ideas to the list below, then start a conversation with your family and
friends by asking them to decide which actions are honest and which are not. Talk
about it after everyone makes their choices. What do they think is honest in some
of the 'greyer' situations? I hope this will help you feel good about your choices.
.
Black White Grey
Please mark these actions as B W or G for Black (dishonest) White (honest) or Grey
(not so sure) then rank the Greys from most honest to most dishonest...then let's talk.
copying a CD that contains sneaking onto a bus without a ticket

copyrighted music
telling your friend you like their cheating on a test
new haircut when you don't
admitting you broke a neighbor's returning money to a person who
window while playing gave you back too much change
not correcting someone thanking admitting you accidentally saw your
you for something another did friend's cards while playing a game
finding a pencil on the school signing up for an email account and
playground and keeping it listing your age older than you are
telling your parents you're one not telling your teacher you saw
place when you're elsewhere someone cheating on a test
saying you have finished a job playing somewhere you have been
when you have not told not to play

Try it now: Honesty Games
Game with words: Two truths and a lie
Tell two things about yourself that are true but

maybe surprising and tell one thing you make
up. The others guess which one is the lie.
Is it okay to lie when everyone agrees it is

part of the rules? Do you feel okay about it?
Game with cards: I Doubt It
This is a card game for three or more players

where the object is to get rid of all of your
cards. Deal out all of a regular deck of
playing cards.
Whoever has the Ace of spades starts and if

they have more than one ace they play all
they have. If they have two, they say “two
Aces” and place them face down. Play
continues to the left. If the second person
has a two they place it face down on the pile
saying “one two.” If they don't have any twos
they have to pretend that they do. Or if they
have one and want to pretend they have two
so they can dump an Ace, they say “two twos”. If no one challenges them they
get away with it but, if someone says ‘I doubt it’, the cards are revealed.
If the player was lying, they have to pick up all the cards played so far. If they
were not, the challenger has to pick them up. Continue up through the Kings. If
it's not your turn when a number you are holding is played, you have to try to
sneak those cards out of your hand later. When you get to Kings if no one has
gone out, start again with Aces until someone runs out of cards.
How did it feel to lie, even when you had permission?

Do we get away with lies in real life if no one catches us?

Game with action: Mirror game
Find a partner. Pretend you are a mirror. Ask your friend to move in front of you as
you copy their actions. Don't break the plane of the mirror (don't move through
where the mirror would be). This is fun if you follow the rules of copying what they
do. Switch so that they get to be the mirror.
After you've played a while think about this: How would you act
differently if someone were doing everything you do in real life?
Would you try to protect them from your poor choices? Would
you lie? Next time you have a 'grey' honesty decision in real life,
think how you would feel about your mirror image doing this action.
Try it now: The Boy Who Cried Wolf
Story: Crying Wolf
Photo by Tim Toombs

Do you know the story about The Boy Who
Cried Wolf? You can read it at your library or
online by clicking the title above. It explains
how nobody believes a liar even when that
person is telling the truth.
What do you learn from the story? Do you have questions about it?
What is a selfish reason to be honest?
Try it for real: Thanks for the Offer.
For a whole day can you only take things that are offered
and not take anything that is not offered? That might mean
not picking flowers from a neighbor's garden or not using a
friend's toy they left outside or not eating meat for a day (the
chicken didn't ASK you to eat it, did it?) See what comes up
for you in the course of a day. At the end of the day, think
about anything you may have borrowed in the past and were
supposed to return. Plan to return anything you still have.

Try it for real: Sticky Money, Fleeting Truth
Muhammad Yunus, a Bangladeshi banker who

helped many people said “Money is a sticky
substance.” What do you think this means?
What is it that binds you or tempts you to being

dishonest about money? In which particular
situations are you most tempted to lie?
When you are asked if you've had cookies and you know
that if you truthfully say yes you will get no ice cream, is it
hard to tell the truth? If you go to the movies and you are
supposed to pay full price since you had your birthday, are
you tempted to say you're younger to save money on the
ticket? If your friends ask if you've heard of a music star
but you haven't, are you tempted to say yes so you will
look cool? Without changing anything, just notice what
happens this week that challenges you to tell the truth.
Try it for real: Fairness and Honesty Experiments
Do you think you treat everyone the same?

Are you 'more fair' with some than with others?
Try treating everyone fairly for a day. Even
those people you don't like. Treat them as fairly
as you would your friends. Notice what
happens.
On another day, try being completely honest all

day. Don't exaggerate. Don't tell a lie. Not
even a “little white” kind of lie. When you are
with certain friends is it easier or harder?
My father used to tell me that his father used to
tell him, “Our best friends are those in whose
company we are our best selves.”

Instant Replay for Honesty:
Do you think the photo

of children playing
hide-and-seek
was a good choice to
represent 'Honesty'?
Has anyone ever 'cried
What questions
wolf' so that you don't
do you have
believe them now?
about Honesty?
Do you think it is Are you more likely

possible to be to deal fairly with
truthful all the time? those you know well?
All the world's a
stage...
William
Shakespeare
Is it important
How does it feel
to be honest
to lie, even if you
for your own good?
have permission?
Why?
What is more
Is it okay to lie
important than
if nobody finds out?
money?

Guideline 7 : Generosity
► Generosity 7 ► Service

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy II: How We Act 7 Generosity p 7-1
Character Guide: Genca Generosity
Genca shares
... what she has, giving
o sity means
Gener with a smile.
ave
i ng w hat we h
Shar others.
enef i t
to b
.
ei ng unsel fi sh
B
ons
z i ng our acti
R eal i
others.
affect
remember them.
I can share my stuff.

I have enough.
Our family motto is:
We share until it's gone,

We help until it's done.
You may adopt it if you like it. In Latin it is:
Usque communicamus quoad

exhaustum est.
Usque adiuvamus quoad
perfectum est.
Welcome to the family.

Ripples
If I can make a ripple,

with a stone thrown in the lake,
what ripples in my real life
do my thoughts and actions make?
My rocket climbs then dives down.

If I push you, will you fall?
To see the glass half empty,
does it change the thing at all?
Will one good turn bring others?

Is it just like people say?
Will all I think and do soon
circle 'round back into play?
Does generous or greedy

make a difference here and now?
Can butterfly wings beating
make a storm somewhere somehow?
I question and I wonder

is it just a simple fact?
Does cause-effect apply to
what I think and how I act?
I can't unsplash a ripple

and I can't unspeak a word.
So I will act my best in case
the Universe has heard.

Generosity Activities
Try it now: Enough is Enough.
How much is enough? I wonder how you decide that you have enough to share, or when you
think someone should share with you. If you share but then are not happy about it, perhaps
that was something you were not ready to give generously. By noticing how you feel before
and after you share you can recognize the things or the amount of time you can give whole-
heartedly. With practice, that level may increase!
Art: Share and Share Alike
Can you think of five things you would be willing

to share and five things you do not want to
share? Draw a picture of the things you could
share, and how you plan to do that sometime
soon. Give what you can -- share generously.
Try it now: Don't take my word for it!
Six quotes on Generosity from around the world have been cut in half. There are several
difficulty levels to choose from as you match them back up. If you make it to Level 3 or up
please send us an email at the link at the bottom left of this page. The answers are at the
end of this Generosity section on the Instant Replay page.
Puzzle/Game: Matches on the Level
Print out the following page on card weight paper, or print then glue to thicker paper.
Cut into twelve cards along the lines. Reunite the two halves of the quotes.
Level 1: Lay all cards out face up, and match them as a group effort.
Level 2: Turn all cards face down and take turns turning over two at a time looking
for a match. Play until all sets are matched.
Level 3: Extend the game by adding cards from the two other sections with quote
matchups (Responsibility and Aspiration).
Level 4: Find or write quotes about Generosity or other guidelines to make
your own cards.
Level 5: Study the quotes and quiz each other by holding up the first halves and
seeing who can remember the second halves.

Matches on the Level -- Gamecards
G7 – 1 G7 – 2 G7 – 3
You make a
living by what The real wealth Be generous in
you get... comes from... prosperity..
G7 – 4 G7 – 5 G7 – 6
They say my
work is just a
The fragrance drop in the
It is in giving... always stays... ocean...
G7 – C
G7 – A G7 – B
...I say the
...in the hand
...and thankful in ocean is made
that gives the
adversity. up of drops.
rose.
-- Bahá'u'lláh, Iran -- Mother Teresa,

-- Hada Bejar, UK
Macedonia/India
G7 – D G7 – E G7 – F
...You make a
life by what you ...that we ...helping
give. receive. others.
-- Winston -- St. Francis of -- Cesar Chavez,

Churchill, UK Assisi, Italy Mexico/USA

Try it now: Balance of Giving and Getting
Think of the best present you ever got. FROM

Think of the best present you ever gave.
t
Which was more fun? Give and Ge
Movement:
Pretend that giving is like standing for as
on your left leg, and getting is like ry to s ta n d o n your left leg ed,
T hen you get tir
s yo u c a n. W
standing on your right leg as you long a long as
try this Movement. ta nd o n yo ur right leg for as an
s h longer you c
n. H o w m uc
you ca on both
TO
nd if yo u p ut equal weight !
sta
yo u c ha ng e back and forth
legs or if
To find more activities and games about giving, check out http://www.learningtogive.org/
There are even folktales and stories to read about giving on this page of the site:
http://www.learningtogive.org/materials/folktales/trait.asp?trait=giving
Try it for real: Oh, that feels better!
You probably have a family member who has a

sore back, sore feet, tired shoulder or neck muscles.
Be generous with your time and attention and give
them a little massage. Maybe make them a cup of tea.
They will love it, and you'll feel great.
Try it for real: Charity Begins
You may already be giving a portion of any money you get to a charitable purpose. If you are
not, think about beginning that practice. If you set aside a percentage of your money right
when you get it, you will be less likely to miss it. Consider giving some every month to a
cause you feel good about supporting. If you don't already know one, ask your family and
friends for ideas. If you don't have any money to spare, you could ask if there are any jobs
you can do to earn a little to give to charity.

Try it for real: Take it Another Level
Next time you are asked to do something you

can do, you have an opportunity to not just
say yes, but to be enthusiastic, and to do a
little more than asked. You might even do Action: Generous Choices
something before being asked.
Give away some of your things
(toys, clothes, etc.) to someone
who needs them more than you.
Make some food to give away to

neighbors who are sick or just
had a baby.
Whenever you bring supplies to

school at the request of your
Here's your food, Fish! teacher bring extra to help others
who may not have enough.
Recently I had a chance to help, but much to
my regret, I missed my opportunity. I was Volunteer to do a job for a brother
waiting to see a concert. Most of us had or sister for no reason. Enjoy the
bought tickets ahead, yet some people were surprised look on their faces!
being charged an extra fee based on their
age. This was a surprise to us all, and some
(like the girl in front of me) had not brought
any money so they were not allowed in, even
though they had mostly paid for their ticket.
What I did was just go in to the show. But I

felt badly about it for several days afterward
because I could have paid the extra money
for some of the younger people to get in.
What I wish I had done was to pay the extra
bit for the girl in front of me and even to leave
some for others who would come behind.
For the price of my own ticket I could have let

in six more people. Next time I will.
Carwash for a cause

Instant Replay for Generosity:
Do you think the photo

of a child sharing
treats with his brother
was a good choice to
represent 'Generosity'?
Who was generous
What questions with you this week?
do you have How did that feel
about Generosity? to you?
Do you have any

What generous
stories about when All the world's a
choices did you
you wish you had stage...
make this week?
been more generous?
William
Shakespeare
Which causes seem

Which was your
most important to
favorite quote
support to you
about 'Generosity'?
personally?
Is it more fun How do you know

to get presents when you have
or to give them? enough to share?
Match Answers:
1D 2F 3A 4E 5B 6C

Guideline 8 : Thoughtful Speech
► Thoughtful Speech 8 ► Courage

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy II: How We Act 8 Thoughtful Speech p 8-1
Character Guide: Spibu Thoughtful-Speech
Spibu speaks carefully
htf u l Speech using his few words

Thoug to help, not harm.
means...
ly
ak i ng ski l l ful
Sp e
tal ki ng
and not
h.
too muc
e
i ng b efore w
Thi nk ’t
a k s o we don
sp e ds.
w i th our wor
harm
remember them.
When I'm wise I

think more, speak less.
We love to talk, to email, to text, to call.

We love to connect. How you choose your
words is important because as Maya
Angelou, USA, has suggested, others will
forget what you say and do, but “people
will never forget how you made them feel.”

Haiku
Sticks and stones break bones.

Cold words hurt me deeper.
Crying hours alone.
(inspired by a quote by Eric Idle, UK, in Get Real)
Choose your words kindly.Pause before speaking.

To avoid a painful sting, To avoid a painful sting,
pause before speaking. choose your words kindly.
Gentle to the ears,

honest, thoughtful, wise words rest
warmly in my heart.
Top haiku inspired by a quote by Eric Idle, UK, in Get Real

Thoughtful Speech Activities
Try it now: Just Listen! No one is as deaf

as the man who will
not listen.
Jewish proverb
We have two ears
and one mouth so we
can listen twice as
much as we speak.
Greek philosopher, To listen well is as
Epictetus powerful a means of
influence as to talk well,
and is essential to all
true conversation.
Chinese proverb
An important part of Thoughtful

Speech is to be able to listen to
what others are really saying
instead of thinking ahead to
what you're going to say next.
These games can help you
become a better listener.
Games: Listen Hear
Clap Echo:
One person claps a short pattern and the others echo; the clapper does a little
more, the others copy it. Take turns being the clapper.
Repeat After Me:
One person says or reads a sentence. The other person listens and repeats it
back exactly. Try it with two sentences, or three, or a list of objects, or numbers.
Telephone:
Sit in a circle. One person whispers a sentence to the next person. See if the
sentence can make it all the way around the circle without getting changed, or if,
“Mr. Dunn has a crazy cat,” becomes, “Sister Dung is a lazy hat,” by mistake!

Try it now: Think More, Speak Less – Haiku Workshop
The most unkind things I say are usually said

quickly, when I'm angry or when I'm joking
around, not thinking about how my words
will be heard. Then I wish I had said less.
Is this true for you?
One way to be kinder with your words is to get in

the habit of choosing words carefully. The Nez
Percé leader Chief Joseph said, “It does not take
many words to speak the truth.”
Careful word choice became an artform practiced in

Japan in the writings called 'haiku'. This special,
concentrated poetry is now written by people all over
the world. Haiku form can vary to suit the language
of the author, but one common pattern for these
short yet powerful poems looks like this:
first line five syllables
second line seven syllables
third line five syllables
So what are haiku about? Haiku writers first

open their hearts and minds to observe nature
and the world and to connect to thoughts within
themselves. This connection can then be
described using carefully chosen words,
expressed as if in one breath, often with a
surprise ending.
Learning to write haiku, and to observe the

wise white lilies bloom world with fresh 'haiku eyes' – a phrase
spring's necklace cast on water mentioned in the children's book Haiku by
rising through the muck Patricia Donegan -- is fun for all ages!
Word Play: Two Haiku from You
Write two haiku. First, take a look outside and write a haiku about today's weather
or season. Second, think about the Guidelines you have learned about so far.
Have any of the ideas surprised you? Write a haiku about any surprises or about
any of the 16 Guidelines. Because the poem is short you will need to think a while
about how to tell your whole story in only three lines. Share them with us if you like!

Try it now: Words and feelings
Words can be powerful emotional tools. Thoughtful

speech is when you use these tools with care and
kindness. King Solomon said, “Death and life are in the
power of the tongue.” What do you think he meant?
Try this Word Play to see how powerful words can be.
Word Play: Feel the Power
Fold a piece of paper in half, then in half again,

then in a half a third time so you have eight
rectangles to write in when you open it up.
Copy one of these words into each rectangle:

cookies, puppy, war, anger, house, car, help,
peace. Draw a simple face by each word
showing how each word makes you feel.
On the back of your paper list eight words of

your own choosing, one per rectangle. Write
some that make you smile, some that scare you
or sadden you and some that excite you. Add
faces to these words, too.
Word Play:
Mind boggling
Make a list of the

words you can make
out of the letters in
'Thoughtful Speech'.
You may use the letters

in any order. Let us
know how many words
you came up with
altogether.

Try it for real: More than Words
Communication is made up of more than

the words you choose. Most (about 90%) of how you
communicate about your emotions is not the words
you are using at all, but rather your body language
and tone. That's why we sometimes say, “It's not
what you're saying, it's how you're saying it.” If you
are up to a real challenge, get your family to help you
do this experiment.
Experiment: Silence is Golden
Choose several hours when you are home to try not using your words. Tell
everyone ahead of time you are trying an experiment. Go about your day, but
use no words. See if you can use other ways to communicate to get your point
across...gestures, facial expressions, or pictures drawn on paper if you must.
Be forewarned, you will learn a lot about yourself, but you will need patience!
Once you are ready to talk again, even a few words may seem like a gift!
Try it for real: The Magic Word
You may have been taught that the magic word was “please” or “abracadabra” or “open
sesame”. Many words can be magic and they can change our mood in a moment. Use
just a few soothing and gentle words this week to make a big difference to someone.
Word Watch: A Week of Words
Why, Thank you!

Pick a day to say something nice (like a compliment)
to everyone you talk with during the day.
Who's on the Line?
Imagine for one day you are being recorded. Everyone
can hear all you say, maybe all you think, and the video will
be on the internet within the hour! Imagine your role model
or spiritual leader or favorite teacher could hear you. Does
it change what you would say? Would that be useful?
That was a Great Effort!
Learn to use language to praise you friends' efforts more than their achievements,
their choices more than their talents. Research at the Greater Good Science Center in
California has shown this will make them happier and achieve even more!

Try it for real: Now That's Skill -- Knot.
I wonder if there was a time during this past

week when you heard speech that was not
skillful or thoughtful? Maybe someone said
something that hurt your feelings. Maybe
you spoke harshly back.
Find a friend or family member who will role

play with you a different way of using words
that would have been more skillful, helpful
or effective. Why was it hard to use kinder
words at the time?
This pattern is the source for Spibu's

head symbol. It is an endless knot.
It shows that everything is connected,
and is a symbol for wisdom and
interplay. Best wishes with your wise
and thoughtful speech.
If you talk to someone but it doesn't

seem like they're listening, instead of
yelling, try whispering. The change of
tone will probably catch their attention.
There are times when it may be better
to say nothing at all.
Web Work: Speak your Peace
Go to http://www.cnvc.org/ ,
the website for the Center for
Nonviolent Communication,
to learn more about ways to be
skillful with your speech by
focusing on what you are
observing, feeling, needing
and requesting.

Instant Replay for Thoughtful Speech:

the photo of teenagers
talking is a good
choice to represent
What questions 'Thoughtful Speech'.
What ways do you
do you have communicate besides
about Thoughtful using your words?
Speech?
All the world's a

stage... Would it be better to say,
Which game did you ”You tested well, you're smart,”
like best to improve William or, “You tested well, you
your listening? Shakespeare must have tried really hard” ?
If everyone could always

Which was your
hear what you say would
favorite quote
it change what you say
in this section?
sometimes?
What does it mean Are some words

to see the world fresh more powerful
with 'haiku eyes'? than others?
Why?

Part III :
How we Relate 12 Responsibility
to Others
11 Gratitude
10 Forgiveness
9 Respect
has impacts on .
How we relate to others....

connects us to our community.
16 Guidelines
16 Guidelines
for a for
Happy
Life Life
www.essential-education.org
www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy III: How We Relate 9 Respect p 9-
Guideline 9 : Respect
Photo by Lindsay Stark
See the original and

learn more about this
village elder here. See
the latest photos from
► Humility ► Respect 9 Lindsay here.

16 Guidelines
16 Guidelines
for a for
Happy
Life Life
www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy III: How We Relate 9 Respect p 9-1
Character Guide: Resco Respect
Resco respects
s...
t mean teachers and the elderly and
Respec honors the wisdom in everyone
e r s, e s p eci al l y
oth by being polite.
Val ui ng p e ri ence
and
ith ex
those w e , l i k e el der
s
d g
knowl e chers.
and tea
e
u r d e p endenc
ng o
R eal i zi r ts o f others.
effo
on the
ol i te.
Bei ng p
help you to remember the most
important ideas. Say these
over and over to remember
them.
Let's honor each

who guide or teach.
You show your respect for everyone

by using good manners and by taking
care of resources we all share.
You show respect for yourself by

choosing your role models carefully,
then following them.
16 Guidelines
16 Guidelines
for a for
Happy
Life Life
A Class for Tia
a short play set outside a martial arts studio
to be read aloud by three actors and a narrator
Tia: Good morning, Is this where classes are held?
Mario: Yes, but I don't know if little kids like you can
take them. Maybe you'd like to go to the place down the street.
Tia: I see. Well, when they open I'll ask if I am in the right place. I'm Tia.
Mario: My name's Mario. So you think you're ready for this stuff, huh? You
know it takes lots of practice. You have to be polite and listen to the
teacher and really work hard. I have been studying for a year and just
now got my green sash.
Tia: Congratulations! I'm glad your hard work paid off. Oh, it looks like they
are opening the door. Thank you for your help. I'll see you inside.
Narrator: Mario warms up on the mat with the other students as Tia goes in to
change clothes. In a moment she comes out and stands at the front of
the class with the Master Teacher.
Master: Students. We have a treat today. Tia Forte is visiting from our sister
school. She has recently earned her black sash which I will tie on her for
the first time today. She will be your guest instructor. (He ties on the
belt.) She studied very hard. Please give her your respect and attention.
Narrator: All the students bow, including Mario who bows deeply then makes eye
contact with Tia on the way back up, and he mouths the word, “Sorry,”
then smiles. She smiles back easily and gives him a forgiving wink.
Tia: I am pleased to be with you today, and I am sure we will all learn a lot
from each other. Let's begin!
16 Guidelines
16 Guidelines
for a for
Happy
Life Life
Respect Activities
Try it now: Meet the 'How we Relate' Guides.

The ‘How we Relate’ guides are Resco Respect, Fola
Forgiveness, Graca Gratitude, and Riche Responsibility.
The last syllable of many of their first names has
something to do with their shapes. I wonder if you can
guess that connection for each one....the answer is at
the end of this Respect section.
Art Project:
9-10-11-12
Print the drawing (page A3-3) of the four ‘How

we Relate’ characters. Color the page and
think about how you are connected to those
around you. Consider if you already relate in a
way that is respectful, forgiving, full of gratitude,
and responsible, or if you could practice a little
more. Glue the page to thicker paper if you
have it, then cut along the lines to make four
cards to use in the game below.
you wish you had. Keep taking turns until all pairs are matched. In later activities you
can make more cards to use to play this game. Try it as a cooperative game and see
how few turns you need to match them all.
16 Guidelines
16 Guidelines
for a for
Happy
Life Life
Try it now: A Good Place to be From
-- respecting your heritage and culture
Respecting your own background is part of realizing that all

societies have something positive to offer to the treasury of
human life on earth. If you were to travel far away, what would
you tell people is special about your hometown, country,
culture or heritage? Think a while. Then try this Art Project.
Art Project: Coming Home

If you visited another place for a long time, what would you miss? What might you
take with you to remind you of home? What could you take to enable you to share
your culture with people you meet? Celebrate the positive things about your
community by drawing a picture of three things you respect and value about where
you live. Show why they are important to you.
If this raised questions about your heritage or history, who could you ask about
that? What other places would you like to visit or learn more about?
16 Guidelines
16 Guidelines
for a for
Happy
Life Life
Try it now: The View from Here
-- respecting the efforts of the past
“A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and

outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead.”
--Albert Einstein, Germany/USA
We all benefit from advances others made before we were

born: inventions that make life easier such as paper, cloth,
light bulbs, x-rays, computers, and telephones; community
planning for roads, schools, parks, libraries and places of
spiritual practice; tools such as the alphabet, musical
notation, trade systems; and things we enjoy like sports,
cultural celebrations, folksongs and how to make chocolate!
We don't have to create these things

ourselves because someone has already
done it for us. They could see the next
steps to be taken to improve things, and
so can we! This is not because we have
such great vision but because we are,
as it has been said, “standing on the
shoulders of giants.” We are enjoying the
view provided to us by the ones who have
gone before.
Reflect and Discuss: I Appreciate the Effort
Sit calmly and comfortably. Look around you -- wherever you are right now. Silently
make note of the people, the inventions, the ideas that have gone before you to bring
you here to this moment today. Think about your clothing and the food you had this
morning. Who made them, paid for them, invented the process to make them? Think
about the paper or computer screen on which this is written, the language system
you share, the shelter in which you are sitting. Celebrate all of that effort in the past.
Now think about something you would like to improve. Don't worry about how to do it
yet, just set your intention to do your part to continue adding to the efforts of the past.
When you are ready, discuss with someone what ideas came to your mind.
16 Guidelines
16 Guidelines
for a for
Happy
Life Life
Try it for real: Personal Elder Praises (Pep Talks)
– respecting grandparents, teachers and
community knowledge-keepers
You may be fortunate to know someone personally who

holds a special kind of wisdom -- how to bake traditional
foods, use local plants, work with wood or metal, play a
traditional instrument, or tell the family stories. Who
enriches your life with living wisdom? Who are your
Personal Elders? Are they family members, religious
leaders, school teachers, neighbors? Do you recognize
these important people for their contribution?
I had the privilege recently of camping with Native

American Shoshone Indians on a reservation in
Wyoming. Many families gathered for an annual
celebration which began by remembering those
who had died within the last year. Unhurriedly they
shared memories of what they appreciated about
each person. All ages listened and benefited.
To read stories online from many Native American

traditions, visit the Native Literature Directory.
Try the Imagine activity below to consider the
importance of recognizing the Personal Elders in
your own life. Follow through with the Interview to
thank them and to learn even more.
Imagine: Pep Talk Prep
Decide who your Personal Elders are. Can you develop a feeling of appreciation
for the knowledge they hold and everything they have taught you? Now, imagine
your Personal Elders are gone. Someday they will be. How will you feel when you
have a question you would normally go to them to answer? How would you like to
show them your respect now, before it's too late? Imagine making a handmade gift
or treat for them or taking them a heartfelt thank you note. Imagine sitting with
them and being a good listener as they share what they know. Imagine going on
your way knowing you have shown them you appreciate what they do for you.
When you are learning a new sport, do you seek advice

from someone who has been playing for a short time or
one who has played for years? In life, do you ask advice
from young people or from those with life experience?
16 Guidelines
16 Guidelines
for a for
Happy
Life Life
Interview/Visit: Wisdom walking
Make your Pep Talk vision a reality by preparing the gifts, treats and notes and
delivering them in person if possible. Show respect by being on time. Ask if they
would like to sit and talk or go for a walk with you. Ask them about what they find
rewarding or challenging, what they are proud of and what they regret. Do some-
thing practical to help them if you can. Thank them for their time before you go.
If you still have your grandparents as Personal Elders you are fortunate! In addition
to the above, ask if you can make an audio recording or take notes as you ask
about their lives as children, as teenagers, as young adults. Ask them what they
remember about their parents and grandparents and what they wish they had
asked them before they died. Finally, ask what is it that they would like to say that
you didn't think to ask them.
I did this type of interview with my grandmother.

We sat for several hours as she told me her life
story and I tried to write quickly every word she said.
It was a pleasure for both of us. Within the year I
moved to a place far away, and she died, but I have
fond memories and no regrets of things left unasked
or unsaid.
If your grandparents have died, write down your or

others' memories of them before they fade further.
If you never knew your grandparents you could
'adopt' a grandmother or grandfather in your
community. Share your company and their wisdom.
“There is an elder in the making in everyone,

but it is most visible in those who have the
receptivity to listen to the stories of others.”
-- Malidoma Some, West Africa
16 Guidelines
16 Guidelines
for a for
Happy
Life Life
Try it for real: Practicing Respect 'A Limited Time Offer'
-- respecting the value of each person
You respect others by being polite and taking care not to harm them, their belongings or the
resources we all share. Below are suggestions for promises you could make to develop a
respectful attitude in specific areas of your life. You could start by promising to yourself to
follow just one of them for an hour -- then you could extend it to a day, a week, or whatever
you feel you can do. This promise is a respectful step, even if you do not keep it perfectly.
Promise: Me, Myself, and I
I promise to be respectful to myself by:

doing what I think is right
choosing role models carefully
developing healthy attitudes
keeping myself and my clothes clean
eating as healthily as I can
getting my exercise and my rest
Promise: All in the Family
I promise to be respectful at home by:

asking how each person's day went
giving eye contact to those speaking to me
using good manners during meals
picking up after myself
being sure family animals have food & water
not wasting food
being careful with family possessions
having a positive attitude
Promise: It's all Friendly
I promise to be respectful of
my friends' belongings by:
asking before I use their things
keeping the things in a safe place
returning them in good shape & on time
thanking the friend for letting me use them
16 Guidelines
16 Guidelines
for a for
Happy
Life Life
Promise: School of Respect
I promise to be respectful at school by:

arriving on time and ready to learn
listening when teachers are speaking
helping those who understand less than I do
learning from those who understand more
not making fun of anyone or any group of people
including everyone in games and discussions
taking care not to damage school property
not leaving a mess
making good use of my time
trying my best
Promise: Everyone Manners!
I promise to be respectful in public by:

keeping quiet in quiet places (library or theater)
saying 'please' and 'thank you'
saying 'excuse me' if I bump into someone
not interrupting, waiting my turn
following the rules in games
being punctual (showing up on time)
not dropping gum or litter
apologizing quickly if I make a mistake
being as polite as possible –especially when
someone is doing me a favor
Promise: What on Earth?!
I promise to be respectful to all life on earth by

not littering, not harming animals or plants
not throwing away things that could be reused
not wasting electricity (turn off lights, close doors)
not wasting water (shower quickly)
not taking unnecessary car trips
16 Guidelines
16 Guidelines
for a for
Happy
Life Life
Try it for real: Once upon a Time – Now that's Different!
-- respecting other cultures and abilities
It can be a great pleasure sampling the variety of food, music

and stories from cultures around the world. Folklore stories are
wisdom that have been passed down for generations. They can
teach us respect for different ways of doing things.
Your librarian can point you to the folklore section at your library
(398.2 in Dewey Decimal system) or go online at the Internet
Public Library or at Folklore and Mythology Electronic Texts.
Share the wealth of stories of the Abenaki, Aesop, the Anansi
stories of the Ashanti, Arabian nights, legends of King Arthur,
and that's just the A's!. Try the Treasure Hunt below to see if
you can match the folklore characters to their places of origin.
Treasure Hunt: Folklore Treasury

– What a character! Click on this icon to read over
600 fables, or click here to see
Can you match up these characters and sources? a group of about 90 fables that
Answers are on the Instant Replay page. are the easiest to understand.
1 Anansi the Spider A Native American
Caeman Toombs
2 King Arthur B Old England
3 Trickster Coyote C Ghana West Africa
4 Leprechauns D China
5 Hercules E Greece
6 Guan Yu F Ireland
Try this Video Investigation to see amazing uplifting videos of achievements of the 'disabled'.
Video Investigation: Karmability
Do you think a grocery bagger with Down

Syndrome could make a big difference for Johnny the bagger:
a large company, or that a girl born with http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=108
only two fingers on each hand could be a
concert pianist? If not, watch these videos The four fingered pianist:
at www.karmatube.org. You may gain new http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=168
respect for what people with imagination
and determination are 'able' to do!
16 Guidelines
16 Guidelines
for a for
Happy
Life Life
Instant Replay for Respect:
I wonder if you
think the photo of
the West African Who are your
Elder was a good Personal Elders?
choice to represent
'Respect'. What do you What questions
respect about your do you have
heritage or culture? about Respect?
Why?
What is an example What is an example
of a way to be of a way to be
respectful at home? respectful in public?
At school? With friends?
Are you
What advances
independent?
from the past are
Do you depend on
important in your
anyone else?
life today?
Who?
How?
Answers to What can you do
Treasure Hunt : to show respect
1C 2B 3A 4F 5E 6D for the earth?
Answers to Name Shape Connection:
Resco He's a scroll, symbol of knowledge, diploma from college,

escola in Portuguese means school. Connect, community.
Fola She's a teardrop, symbol of relief of letting go of anger, also
the good kind of healthy regret. Lagrima is tear in Spanish.
Graca She's a house, symbol of nurturing and shelter, the two eyes
represent a baby and an adult lifting it and caring for it.
Casa means house in Spanish.
Riche She's a check mark with a can do attitude, taking part in the
process, following through.
Nansi, the symbol for 'How we Relate', is a spider web, sign of connectedness
and interdependence, and homage to West African folklore of Anansi the Spider.
16 Guidelines
16 Guidelines
for a for
Happy
Life Life
Guideline 10 : Forgiveness
► Patience ► Forgiveness 10

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy III: How We Relate 10 Forgiveness p 10-1
Character Guide: Fola Forgiveness
Fola forgives,
ness
F orgive releasing anger and hurt,
means... and reclaiming peace.
e of
c l ai m i ng p eac
Re o
d b y l etti ng g
mi n d
r towar
of ange as
e who h
someon
methi ng
done so ul
t fe el s hurtf
tha
urb i ng.
or di st
them.
I forgive then
I feel better.
“Holding a grudge is like watering a

man-eating plant. Keeping it alive.”
-- Caeman Toombs, 10yrs, USA

Blue Marble Memory
a poem and slideshow about forgiveness and

connection in the cyclic
existence of a
single drop
If I were a of water
raindrop, above the planet earth,
would I realize everywhere I'd been?
Would I know, as I was about to quench the
thirst of dry African plains, that earlier that week
I had been in the eye of a koala in Australia, in the
sneeze of a polar bear in the Arctic, and a drop rolling
off the feathers of a duck in Puerto Rico? Would I know
that humans are mostly water and that I had been in and out
of thousands of people this year? Would I remember being
part of the white lemonade a schoolgirl speaking Irish drank in
Dingle, being in the hot tea of a rice farmer in Indonesia, in the
sweat on the violinist's brow onstage at the symphony in New York,
in the cool breath of the hiker in the mountains of Austria, and
in the tears of joy for the birthday girl in Brazil? As a raindrop I
might remember being part of a rainbow or a waterfall, seeing the
other drops as they fell like little blue marbles, reflecting the
world. I might see the earth in space as another blue marble
and realize how connected we all are. I may meet you next
as a beautiful fountain, a long cold drink, a snowflake
sparkling in the sun or a puddle to play in. Forgive me
if I splash you now. Forgive me if I leave a streak
on your window. I am not yet a perfect raindrop,
but if you give me a chance, and see me as I
am, I may make you smile at a beautiful
sunset; I am there in the clouds.
We're sure to see each other
See a slideshow again, for we are all
that illustrates this connected
poem here. Click 'view here.
as slideshow', begin reading
when you see the symbol of Fola
and advance slides at each drop.
Forgiveness Activities
Try it now: Easy Does It.
Experiment: Magic Quicksand
You need a box of the magic ingredient (it's called

cornstarch in the U.S., cornflour in many other places),
water, a spoon, and a bowl. Put some water in the bowl,
add up to twice as much of the 'magic' powder, very
slowly until it flows like thick honey. When you jab the
spoon in quickly, no matter how hard you push, it won't
go in. When you slide it in slowly, it goes in easily.
This is a little like quicksand. Play with it. If you are strong with this mixture, it acts like a
solid. If you are gentle, it accommodates like a liquid and moves slowly out of the way.
For more see the National Science Foundation article on 'oobleck' here.
This quicksand can teach you about forgiveness. If you react strongly to others' negative
actions, you will get more resistance from them and within yourself. If you are gentle and
patient in your response you may be accommodated and achieve more.
Unfortunately, there are many examples of

times and places when people were forced to
endure terrible situations, imprisonments or
torture. Even as you read this many people
may be undergoing horrendous experiences at
the hands of others. May their suffering end.
Fortunately, even in the very worst cases, after

years of suffering, there are strong examples of
successful forgiveness. Those who can forgive
their oppressors move on to reclaim peace of
mind. Those who can’t forgive stay imprisoned
by their own bitterness.
Ask an adult to sit with you if you wish to read

some very powerful stories at
http://www.theforgivenessproject.com/

Try it now: Lay your burden down
“To forgive is not just to be altruistic.

It is the best form of self-interest.”
-- Dr. Desmond Tutu, South Africa
Movement Game: Book 'em -- A weight off my shoulders
Find a stack of books, pile of big rocks or bags of rice, anything you can hand
back and forth to a partner and eventually will feel heavy to hold. Take turns
passing items to each other so, for example, you hand three books to your
partner who has to hold them for 10 seconds. Then your partner chooses a pile
of books and hands them to you to hold for 10 seconds. If you can't hold the pile
yourself, to pass it to your partner, it's too much. After you've done this for five
turns each, the rules will change.
This time agree between you on a certain amount of 'books'. The person giving
the books can decide how long the other person has to hold them between 2 and
20 seconds. After three more turns each, change the rules again. This time the
person holding the books gets to decide how long to hold them between 2 and 20
seconds. Then everyone have a seat to talk about this.
Imagine the heavy objects are the negative things that

happen to you–perhaps a harm someone has done.
Although you don't decide in real life how many troubles
happen to you, how many 'books' you have to hold, you
can decide to forgive a person for something, and when to
stop carrying a grudge.
Who does it hurt to be angry? Who suffers if you continue

to feel hurt every time you think about something negative
from the past? It doesn't mean you forget or deny what
happened or don't try to protect yourself from being hurt
again. It also doesn't mean that the action is acceptable
or okay. It simply means you decide it is not serving you
to keep carrying around the bitterness anymore. You can
forgive, you can lay that burden down. It's heavy! Why
would you want to carry it any longer?

Try it now: Forgive, be forgiven.
Draw it! Just Perfect
Try to draw a perfect circle without tracing around anything. Really try it. It's simple, but
it's hard! It’s the same anytime you try to learn something new. You make mistakes
until you get the hang of it. Even then, it's hard to do it perfectly.
Basically, you're human, so you make mistakes. We all do. Take a minute to think about
mistakes you've made. For what would you like to be forgiven? It may be more important
to forgive yourself than to look for this outside yourself. On the other hand, if you make an
apology to someone you have hurt it may help them to let go of their bitterness.
What mistakes have others made that hurt you and that you have not yet forgiven? If it still
makes you mad, you're still carrying around those 'books'.
Can you put yourself in the place of

the other person? Even if they are
not sorry, it doesn't change the fact
that the important work is inside
your own head. You will know you
have forgiven when you can think
about that person or event and it
travels easily through your mind.
Can you see they are imperfect like
you and made a poor choice?
That's all.
Bad hair day : No one's perfect....

Try it for real: Magic Quicksand Live and in Person -- Any questions?
Remember how being gentle and patient allowed you to move through the
'quicksand'? Can you use the example of this 'magic' mixture to be patient
with someone you feel is being rude or unpleasant? Can you pause your
first habitual reaction and think before you react?
Example: If someone is behind you, waiting for the bus, and they
'fall' into you, it might be an accident. But when it happens again
and again, what do you do? When I was eleven, every day at the
bus stop the same girl would bump into me on purpose and laugh.
It wasn't rough, but it was embarrassing and I thought it was rude.
I felt out of control. I wasn't the type to get into a fight, so I did
nothing. I ignored it, but it didn't go away. Finally, I decided to try
something different. When she came, even though I wanted to
hide from her, I turned around and started a conversation by
asking a good question. I talked, listened to what she said, and
kept her too busy to fall into me. The next day I talked to her
more. At first it felt strange, but in a few days the problem was gone.
I also learned about her culture which was different from my own.
Pause and Question: More than Yes or No...
Sometimes you can diffuse a problem with forgiveness in the moment by pausing your
own reaction to rudeness and just asking a really good question. Notice three times this
week when someone says or does something rude. Before you react, take a breath and
ask them a polite, clarifying question. One they can't answer with just yes or no. See if
that pause helps to shift the energy from confrontation to conversation.
This can also work within families -- with teenagers to keep

shouting matches from getting out of control or even to
head them off altogether. Try the Pause and Question
activity above with your brothers, sisters, and parents/
caregivers. Disagreements happen at home, because
you may be ruder, and they more rude with you, when you
are in a place where you feel safe to show emotion.
Keeping this under control is important because you will

probably have a longer relationship with your brothers and
sisters than with anyone else in your life. You can make a
foundation for a lifetime by pausing your reactions and
asking a good question.

Try it for real: Borrow peace from the future.
I wonder if you worry and end up borrowing

negative energy from the future for something
that hasn't happened yet. Instead you could
choose to borrow some peace from the
future. If someone does a small thing to you
that you don't like, you could think, “Next
week,” or “Next month,” or “When I'm grown
up, I won't remember this little thing. The
person who did this is learning bad habits by
making poor choices. I hope they make
better choices so they don't harm anyone
else, and they get on a better path.” Putting
things in perspective may help you forgive.
Try it for real:

Outgrowing Childish Ways
If a baby hits you with their fist, you

probably won’t get angry, because you
realize they don't know better yet. You
forgive them naturally and immediately.
Read and Discuss: Childish Choices
We expect people to grow out of their childish or selfish ways as they get older but it
doesn’t always happen. Read a newspaper or look at the news online. On the first
page is there a story about a terrible choice someone made? Talk with someone about
how that choice might have been made differently if the person had acted less like a
child trying to get their own way. Read some of the other articles and consider how
forgiveness could help in those cases for a happier and more peaceful society.
“Not forgiving is like holding a double-edged sword

by the blade and trying to hit someone with it.“
“Always forgive your enemies. -- Caeman Toombs, 10, USA
Nothing annoys them so much.”
-- Oscar Wilde, Anglo-Irish author

Instant Replay for Forgiveness:
Do you think you

will accomplish What do you have
more with gentle to let go of to
patient reactions forgive?
or with strong What do you
ones? Do you forgive for get back?
What questions
the benefit of do you have
the other person about Forgiveness?
or for yourself?
Is it possible to
be perfect?
Can you forgive
yourself when
you are not
perfect? Who chooses if,
Who does it hurt and when, you
to stay angry? stop carrying
a grudge?
I wonder if you
think the photo of
two brothers
hugging was a good
choice to represent
Is it harder to 'Forgiveness'.
forgive yourself when
you make a mistake
than it would be to
forgive a
friend?

Guideline 11 : Gratitude
► Contentment ► Gratitude 11

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy III: How We Relate 11 Gratitude p 11-1
Character Guide: Graca Gratitude
Graca thanks
and appreciates her
.
u d e means.. parents, and others
Grat it
i on who help her.
l i n g ap p reci at
Fee wi ng
and sho or
ul ness f
thankf
hers
what ot nts)
p ec i al l y p are
(es s.
v e d o n e for u
ha

them.
Thanks to those who

wiped my nose.
If this chant feels a little too real for

you to say it out loud, just remember
that it wasn't always easy taking care
of you when you were small.
If you prefer you could say, Thanks

to those who washed my clothes.

If I were a slug
Photo from Peter Moorman – The Netherlands
If I were a slug, I'd have no arms to hug

my mother or my father or my older brother, Doug.
I'd have to go to slug school. I'd take all day to 'walk'

and when I finally got there, I couldn't hold the chalk.
I'm thankful I can run. I'm glad I can be kind.

I'm not sure how I'd do it leaving slimy trails behind.
Each morning when I wake, I really ought to take

a moment to be grateful that I'm me for goodness sake!
Photo taken in Liberia by Lindsay Stark

Gratitude Activities
Try it now: Glowing/Growing with Gratitude
Whatever your circumstance there is no doubt

that you have experienced other people’s
kindness. When you were small there were those
who looked after you before you could care for
yourself, making sure you had food, clothing, and
shelter. This type of kindness goes back for
generation after generation of your family.
As you got older there were

those who taught you to play
games and sing songs, to read,
and how to cross a road safely.
Right now in your life you have

teachers, family and friends who
help you every day, providing for
you, teaching you how to do
things, and playing with you.
Even strangers show you kindness by returning their books to the library so you too can
borrow them, by obeying stop signs so you can travel safely, by training to fight fires and by
serving in shops. How fortunate you are! Can you think of at least three people who have
done something for you today? Pause to feel gratitude then try the Imagine activity.

Imagine: Lights and Wings
Sit calmly for a few minutes and relax.

When you are ready, close your eyes.
Think of your favorite color. Imagine you
are a transparent glass vase of that color.
Imagine that each of the little things
anyone has done for you becomes a tiny
spot of light. Imagine you are nearly filled
to the rim with all these beautiful bright
lights which continue to come in as you
watch. Imagine you are warm and
glowing, overflowing with light from the
kind efforts of others.
Now imagine a stack of small flat boxes

at your side. As the light spills out of the
top of your vase self, imagine catching
the light in the boxes, slowly, letting each
one fill then moving on to the next. After
a while take this stack of boxes filled with
light and hold them in front of you. Feel
the warmth of the light in them.
As you watch, imagine each box in turn sprouts white dove's wings and flies off to a
few special people you would like to thank for what they have done for you. Imagine
who the boxes of light are flying to. Can you see their faces? When you are ready,
open your eyes and write down the first few names that came to your mind.
It would mean a lot to the people who have

been helpful to you to know that you thought
of them in this way. You could write them a
gratitude note and decorate it with wings or
glitter or other images that came to mind.

Try it now: Who touched my Lunch?
Do you grow your own food, using tools you made yourself, and raise your own animals?
Just to be able to eat lunch you probably have help from someone else. In fact LOTS of other
people and animals helped! Just to have a simple butter and honey sandwich with a glass of
apple juice, for example, probably involves hundreds of people and thousands of animals.
The sandwich bread:
the wheat –
people who bred the seeds,
farmers who grew it,
insects who made the soil it grew in,
people who made the farm machines,
those who stored the wheat,
those who ground it into flour.
the bakery –
people who baked it and
provided the fuel to cook it,
clean water to mix with the wheat,
yeast to make it rise,
the pans to cook it in,
the wrapper to package it, and
the ovens and slicing machines.
the store –
people who arranged to stock it,
drivers who brought it,
people who built the road and
made the fuel for the delivery van,
stockers who put it on the shelf,
the person who bought it and
brought it home.
the idea --
the Fourth Earl of Sandwich
who is credited with inventing
the idea of using sliced bread
for this purpose!

Can you imagine how long the list might be if we considered not only the bread, but also the
butter, the honey, and the juice? With all of this interdependence you might forget that many
people are going hungry. As you play the following game keep in mind that many children and
adults will not have a lunch to eat tomorrow.
Game: It takes a village to make a sandwich
Try listing all those who might be involved for providing the butter and honey
sandwich and glass of juice. Or, for the items in a typical lunch you might have.
A fun way to do it would be to sit in a circle with a group of friends and go around one
at a time saying a person or animal that might have been involved in providing the
last meal you ate. See how a suggestion from one can give the others more ideas
about the people and animals that could go on this list of interdependence.
*top and bottom photos in this column by Lindsay Stark

Try it now: The Blessings of Counting Blessings
Art Project: Gratitude and the

Greater Good
Can you think of five things you are grateful

for that happened this week? Use clippings
from magazines to make a collage linking the
things you are grateful for to the efforts of
others. Alternatively you could make a
drawing, or a poem about this connection.
Ask your parents or caregivers to check out

the YouTube video about Gratitude from the
Greater Good Science Center mentioned
below. It only takes four minutes and it will
help them help you to practice this skill called
Gratitude to be happier more of the time.
Do you want to feel 25% happier? One way is to write five sentences a week into a Gratitude
journal. Dr. Robert Emmons describes a study that showed a significant connection between
expressing gratitude and getting better sleep and having fewer health complaints. Those
asked to write about five hassles or simply five events did not get these benefits. In a second
study participants wrote about positive events every day for two weeks. They felt more joyful,
energetic, attentive, strong and enthusiastic than those who wrote about hassles, and they
helped others more. Improvements were measured by family and friends who did not know
which group participants were in. You may write your first five sentences now if you like!
This work inspired a project at a middle school where students recorded five things they were
grateful for during the previous day. The clear result was “higher levels of optimism, increased
life satisfaction, and decreased negative feelings.” The students also appreciated their close
relationships more and felt better about school.
So, to be happier, you need to stop focusing on the

hassles and count your blessings --- its good science!
Ask your parents/caregivers to see the very short

YouTube video and the printable fridge idea sheet about
this subject and look at the other links related to the
science of how to grow up happy at Half Full from the
Greater Good Science Center.

Try it for real: I'd like to Thank each and every one of you!
There are very few things we do completely by ourselves. You may be helping others in small
ways every day. Perhaps you look after a younger brother or sister or help with jobs at home
or take charge of your studies. Perhaps you help as a volunteer or work alongside others in
your family business. What does it feel like when you are thanked compared with when your
efforts are forgotten? Do you feel like helping out more, or less if your efforts are recognized?
There are measurable benefits to yourself of expressing gratitude and there are benefits for
the person to whom you express it -- they will feel good. A third benefit is that they will want to
help you in the future. So try practicing this for yourself and see what you notice about how
you feel, and about how those you thank respond.
Practice: I am fortunate right now. Thanks!
Choose a day to focus on the efforts of others in your own life by saying “thank
you” every time before you eat, every time before you walk into your house, every
time you walk into school, every time you take out a toy or get a drink of water.
Sometimes say it out loud, but at least say it to yourself. See if it helps you to feel
good. Then try it for another day, this time saying as many “thank you”s as you
can out loud to others for their efforts. How do you feel about your day now?
Photo by Caeman Toombs
Every year in the spring we help with a Teacher

Appreciation Dinner to show the local teachers
how grateful we are for their efforts helping our
children. The families make them dinner, the
children perform songs for them, make them gifts,
and we give them a handmade silk corsage
(directions to make them can be found here).
You could suggest doing this too, to express your
gratitude.

Try it for real: Has it Bean a Good Day? MHB!
A photographer friend in Germany told me of a very practical way to focus on gratitude. It

comes from a story relayed by Marlies Ruberg and translated by Doug Bauman.
The story is about a woman who puts a hand full of

dried beans into her pocket in the morning. Each
time she experiences a moment that delights her
senses or her heart she moves a bean to the other
pocket. In the evening, she pulls out the moved
beans, even if there are only one or two, and is fully
aware of each happy moment that made the day
worthwhile to live.
Photo by Peter Moorman -- The Netherlands
Practice: Make a Memory, Move a Bean
Put a few dried beans (or pennies, pistachios, stones etc.) in one pocket. Each time
you experience a joyful moment (like when you hear a bird sing, take a deep breath
of cool fresh air, eat a good meal, see a beautiful sky, have a nice talk with a friend,
enjoy the company of an animal, learn something new from a special teacher, see a
grand old tree or a new baby's smile, enjoy a nice walk, swim or a perfect cup of tea)
transfer a bean to the other pocket. At the end of the day, remember the moments of
joy and feel gratitude. Say a quiet thank you for each fortunate experience.
May you run out of beans when you try this! At our house when something good happens
unexpectedly we say, “Yay! Move a bean!” or “MHB” our code for “move a hypothetical bean.”
Photo by Caeman Toombs

Try it for real: Many Thanks, Parental Units!
Many of you are being raised by one or both

parents. Some of you are being raised by other
family or caregivers. Let's call them all 'parents'
for this activity.
Focusing on a
moving target...
Parenting can be difficult and dirty work. A

‘help-wanted ad’ for parents I saw said -
‘willing to be indispensable one moment
and an embarrassment the next’.
Folksinger Pete Seeger, USA, told us

that parents are the hardest working
portion of the population, who do it for
the high wages – kisses.
Have you thanked your parents lately?
On the run from a bear!
It can be harder to thank someone for

actions you feel are owed to you, or if
you take them for granted. Remember,
that every day family members die
unexpectedly. If that happens to a
parent of yours it would be difficult, but
how wonderful if you have said your
“thank you's” along the way instead of
having regrets!
Helping behind
the scenes.

Use your Words: Say it to Pay it
Make sure your parents get paid! This week, make an effort to thank your
parents at least once each day (for cooking a meal, working hard, giving you a
lift), by saying “thank you” or leaving them a note or giving them a hug or kiss.
When I tuck my youngest child into bed I tell him, “I love you very much.” He has started
telling me, “I love you more, “ and then I say, “I don't know if that is possible.”
If your parents have died or are not close by for some reason the next best way to thank
them is by practicing these skills to be happy. That's what they wanted the most, anyway.
Thanks, Dad, for driving me to all Thanks, Mom, for everything!

those music lessons.

It is normal for close, long-term relationships to
have bumps and bruises. Parents must choose
what they think is right for you, even when it is
something you will not like. You choose whether
to dwell on only the bumps or the good things or
to balance both. Ram Daas, USA, told adults, “If
you think you're so enlightened, go and spend a
week with your parents!” Can you imagine why
that might be a challenge when you are grown?
Someday you may be taking care of your parents, making decisions for them, supporting
them. I wonder if thinking about that transition will help you to be more understanding about
the bumps you have with your parents now.
It was difficult for me when my father died, going

through his possessions, every piece of paper, with him
no longer in charge. How much harder it would have
been if I had not shown him gratitude while he was still
alive! I know I did all I could to thank him.
My husband remembers when his father was young

and strong. Our teenage son who sometimes has a
friendly wrestle with his dad asked, “Do you remember
when you were first strong enough to beat Grandpa?”
“Yes, but it wouldn't have been fun at that point.”
You are not in a competition with your parents, not a battle, not a contest. You are paddling
your common boat to where you can take over the steering and hopefully they will smile when
you do so. Let them teach you to read the water while their view is clearer, and thank them
for their help. When your time to be Captain comes you will need all the skills they have
taught you to successfully navigate your own life.

Instant Replay for Gratitude :
What is a
simple way to
Who are you acknowledge and
grateful to? feel grateful for
Why? the joyful
How might it moments of
the day? What questions
change your attitude
do you have
to show more gratitude?
about Gratitude?
Does it cost you
Approximately
anything?
how many people
and animals were
involved in
providing your
lunch? I wonder if
you feel it would How do you
be easy to 'parent' show gratitude in
a person who acts your family?
the way you do.
I wonder if you
think the photo of a
child giving his mother
a gift was a good
How do you choice to represent
feel if someone 'Gratitude'.
doesn't notice or
appreciate
something you
do for them?

Guideline 12 : Responsibility
► Delight ► Responsibility 12

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy III: How We Relate 12 Responsibility p 12-1
Character Guide: Riche Responsibility
Riche steps up
esp o n sibility to do what needs to be done
R
means... -- others can count on him.
person
Bei ng a
n be
who ca
up on.
counted
.
ab i l i ty
D epend
l i ty .
R el i ab i .
te a d f astness
S
them.
Through thick or thin

count me in.
When we talk about being “Responsible”

to loved ones and friends, we use words
like steadfast, dependable, reliable, and
constant. Some also use “Loyalty” to
describe being responsible with those who
are close. This practice can help us to
extend our responsibility out to everyone.

Response Ability
a twelve measure call and response rhythmic chant

to be clapped/snapped slowly and evenly emphasizing blue downbeats
Caller: Crowd or Responder:
1 Do I need some help

when things are going right? No!
2 Do I need some help

in the dark of the night? Yes!
3 When will you be ready

to step on in?
4 Through thick or thin,
count me in!
5 Leaned on, called on,
trusted and relied upon?
count me in!
7 Steppin' in, steppin' out,
steppin' up without a doubt?
count me in!
9 I've got a friend I see! --
You can depend on me! --
10 And I will be there too! --
When someone else needs you.--
11 Take it on, bring it on,
it's time to begin, so...
12 All: Through thick or thin,

count us in! --

Responsibility Activities
Try it now: Connections
You are interconnected. You share roads,

schools, shops, air, playgrounds, a planet and
more. What you do -- or don't do -- affects
others. Like a tower of blocks or a pile of sticks,
it is hard to affect one and not the others. You
are interdependent. You depend on others and
they on you. The following activities investigating
interconnection may help you see the importance
of putting effort into being strong and reliable. Only as strong as its weakest link...
Game: Homemade pick-up-sticks
Get 20 chopsticks, skewers, straws, pencils, sticks or pine needles -- all the same size
and shape, straight, stiff, and the length of a chopstick. Hold the sticks loosely in a
bundle with one end just above a flat surface and the other end straight up. Release
them so they fall in all directions. Pick up one at a time -- without moving the others, or
then it's the next person's turn. Try to get the most sticks. You can make some sticks
worth more by marking them with a stripe of paint. This can be a cooperative game if
you work together to pick up all the sticks in the fewest turns.
Experiment: 'Floatilla'
Play with objects floating in water to see if you can

move one and not the others -- leaves in a pond,
berries in a bowl, or marshmallows in a sink. It is
amazing how far away you can be and still affect
the other objects. We are all connected.
Art Project: The dashed path
In the cartoon Family Circus a dashed line marks a child's path. Imagine you left a trail
of your connection to others in a typical day. Draw where you go, who you see, and
who you talk to on the phone or computer. Dash your route from morning 'til night,
showing who you might affect. What does your web of connectedness look like?

Try it now: What does it all mean?
Many words have meanings similar to 'responsible'.
Word Play: Unscramble Responsibly
Unscramble these letters to spell words with

meanings similar to 'responsible'.
(Clue: first and last letters are in the right place.)
DEANEPLDBE RABEILLE SFEDATAST
TWUSTROTHRY LAYOL
The answers are on the Instant Replay page at

the end of this section.
Try it now: Don't take my word for it, either!
Six quotes on Responsibility from around the world have been cut in half. There are several
difficulty levels to choose from as you match them back up. If you make it to Level 3 or up
please send us an email at the link at the bottom left of this page. The answers are on the
Instant Replay page.
Puzzle/Game: Matches on the 2nd Level
matchups (Generosity and Aspiration).
Level 4: Find or write quotes about Responsibility or other guidelines to make
your own cards.

Matches on the 2nd Level -- Gamecards
G12 – 1 G12 – 2 G12 – 3
To live the full

life, one must
It's the friends have the courage We must love
you can call to bear the friends for their
up... responsibility... sake...
G12 – 4
G12 – 5 G12 – 6
It is easy to
It is not enough Knowing is not
dodge our
to stare up the enough; we
responsibilities,
steps,... must apply...
but we cannot...
G12 – B
G12 – A G12 – C
...dodge the
...we must step consequences ...of the needs
up the stairs. of dodging our of others.
responsibilities.
-- Vaclav Havel, -- Aung San Suu
Czech Republic -- Josiah Charles Kyi, Burma
Stamp, UK
G12 – F
G12 – D G12 – E
...Willing is not
...at 4 a.m. ...rather than for
enough; we
that matter. our own.
must do.
-- Marlene Dietrich, -- Charlotte Bronte,
Germany UK -- Johann von
Goethe, Germany

Try it for real: The Message is 'You can count on me.'
How does it feel if someone breaks their promise to

you? If a friend says she will bring water to the game
but forgets, and you go thirsty, or if your cousin plans to
meet you after school but goes to a movie instead,
does it say anything about how they value you?
What message do you send to others with your

actions? Does your behavior say, “You can count on
me, I follow through,” or “It may or may not get done,
depending on how I feel at the time”? How do you feel
if you don't show up when you promised to meet a
friend? Have you sent the message, “You are not
important enough for me to keep my promises to you”? Photo : Mike_tn
Promise/Observe: I say it =>I do it. Got the message?
Do you want your friends and family to feel they are valuable to you and that you can
be counted on to follow through? For a week, can you focus on doing everything you
say you're going to do? You may need to make a note of what you promise so you
don’t forget. Be reliable and open to taking on something new you feel is important.
Acting responsibly shows friends

that your word has value and you
can be trusted. They may
respond by sharing more of their
time and belongings.
This teaches the adults in your

life that you are ready for the next
level of being grown up. I tell my
teenager, “You are teaching me
how to parent you by how you
act. You are telling me what you
can handle.”

Promise:
Implied Responsibility
For a day, as well as doing what you say you

will, can you do all the implied things, like
picking up after yourself and keeping up with
school work? This will require organization
and focus. You may find it helpful to make a
list with boxes you can check off such as
homework, exercise, playtime, instrument
practice and household chores.
To become responsible, at first get the

habit of doing what you specifically
promise to do.
Then do what is implied by being a

member of a family, team or group.
Then do what you are asked by those

close to you.
Finally, you will see what needs to be

done and step up to do it!
Opportunity: Find new ways -- Step up
This week, look for ways to improve things for your friends and family. When you see a
problem, do what you can to fix it. If a friend drops something, help pick it up. If
someone is being teased, find safe ways to support them. Step up to take on
challenges you see around you. What difference can you make in your local world?
A range of opportunities exists to ‘step up’ and be responsible. You could voluntarily
sweep the walk when you see it needs it, spend time with a friend who is going through
hard times, help start a sports program to keep children out of trouble, or ask for extra
lessons if the group you lead at school is not being challenged. Please email to tell us
what you did – even the small steps are great progress!

Try it for real: Don't Play Chameleon
Do you know what chameleons do? They

can change colors to match their
surroundings. My 11-year-old son calls
people 'chameleons' who change who
they are or how they act to look good in
front of different people. How do you feel
if you see someone change their views,
stories or tone of voice depending on who
they talk to? Is this okay sometimes?
Photo by Paul Shaffner
Observe: Am I turning green?
This week watch yourself to see if you act differently when you are with old friends, a
new group of friends, parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, teachers, or someone
you don't like. Which ways of acting differently are responsible, doing what is helpful,
and which are being a 'chameleon', not being yourself, just so you blend in?
Experiment:
Red cabbage... no, purple, no green! red!
You need a red cabbage*, water, pan, stove,

several cotton swabs (or a coffee filter**) and an
adult to help you. Chop ¼ of the cabbage, put it
in the pan, cover it with water, boil until the water
turns deep purple. Let it cool, then drain off the
juice. Dip both tips of the swabs (or the whole
coffee filter) in the juice and let them dry. Dip
the swabs (or strips of the coffee filter) in various
safe liquids and notice what happens to the
color. Try vinegar, a solution of baking soda
(sodium bicarbonate) and water, and other
liquids like orange or lemon juice, salt water,
sugar water or milk. The colors should change
as if by magic.
*you can use blueberries or red onions if no cabbage is

available.
** you can use a paper towel or white tissue paper, but the
filters and swabs work better.

What's going on?
The color change from purple to

red or green, indicates a change in
the environment for the dried
cabbage juice. That change is the
pH or acid level of the liquid it
touches. Changing how you act
because you are in a library or
religious building, is helpful and
responsible. That is not being a
'chameleon'.
Write a Play: Reptilian Playwrights
Can you write your own short play like the ones at the beginning of the Humility and
Respect sections? Create one character who acts like a 'chameleon' and one who
doesn’t. For example, they might change what they say they like based on what friends
in two different groups say. It might be something small like their favorite card game, or
something really important. Get creative! We'd love to read your play!

Try it for real: I'd like to thank my support crew....
Photo Sharla Flora
All of us need support at certain times in our lives.

You need friends on your support crew who you
trust to ask, “Do I have ketchup on my face?” who
won't tease you about the answer. You need
adults to rely on if you can’t talk about a problem
with your parents/caregivers. You can strive to be
this type of friend and to grow into this kind of
responsible adult.
Imagine: We have a situation here....
Sit quietly and imagine these scenes. Notice who comes to mind in each one.
1. You are playing with a group of friends at one of their homes. Someone slaps a note
on your back and the others laugh. Who do you ask what it really says?
2. It is lunchtime at school when you find a hole in your pocket instead of lunch money.
Who can you ask to borrow money? Who will trust you or share their lunch with you?
3. You are doing homework when your brother collapses next to you. Who do you call?
4. You are at home alone for the first time. It feels good to be trusted to keep out of
trouble. You wash an apple for a snack, but the tap breaks when you turn it off and
water squirts everywhere. You can't reach your parents, who do you go to or call?
Why not thank friends you rely on and adults you want to be like for being there for you?
You already serve your friends, family and other groups like sports teams. As you get older
you may have to choose between groups when it is not possible to serve them all. I spent
several months away from my family, including my son turning from eight to nine while I cared
for a dying family member. This was one of the hardest things I ever did, but it was easier
when my son said, “It's okay, Mommy, I know you are needed more there right now.”
Read: My People, My Family
Read about Aung San Suu Kyi who had to choose between the needs of her country
and her family. For nearly two decades she has been under house arrest in Burma for
her political activities, missing out on being with her children as they grew up and
being with her husband when he died. Choosing between responsibilities is not easy,
but it helps to remember we are fortunate to have more than one place to be of help.

Instant Replay for Responsibility:
How are you What message

interconnected does it send to
with other people? other people when
you miss an
appointment? Who are the
friends and adults
Do you need friends
who are on your
when times are good,
dependable
bad, or both?
support crew?
Why?
Which was your
favorite quote
about
Responsibility?
What are some Is it important
other words that to you to be
can mean trusted?
'Responsible'? Why?
What do
red cabbage and
chameleons have
to do with
Responsibility? I wonder if you
think the photo of
a girl walking her dog
was a good choice
to represent
'Responsibility'.
Answers to word unscramble:

DEPENDABLE
RELIABLE
STEADFAST
TRUSTWORTHY
LOYAL Answers to quote matching:
1D 2C 3E 4B 5A 6F
Part IV : How we find Meaning in Life
has impacts on .
How we find meaning in life...

steadies us in a changing world.
16 Courage
15 Service
14 Aspiration
13 Principles

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy IV:How We Find Meaning 13 Principles p 13-
Guideline 13 : Principles
► Humility
► Patience
► Contentment
► Delight
► Kindness
► Honesty
► Generosity
► Respect
► Forgiveness
► Gratitude
► Responsibility
► Principles 13
► Aspiration
► Service
► Courage

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy IV:How We Find Meaning 13 Principles p 13-1
Character Guide: Prindi Principles
Prindi finds direction

and guidance from rules he
chooses to help him
.
les means.. set his course.
Princip
e
g to us
Choosi n
l i ne s o r rul es
gui de
make
to hel p ns
t o u g h deci si o
the
i n l i fe.

remember them.
I know my way.
I walk my path.
Big decisions are easier if you have

decided ahead of time what guiding
principles are important to you.
“Those who stand for nothing fall for

anything.” – Alexander Hamilton, USA

Positive Principle rePrise
a playful poem for your palms*
Each of you gives me a lesson.
I'm like water, patient, still,

I have what I need, if I don't feed my greed. Humility

Patience
Contentment
No need to wait let's celebrate. Delight
My joy times two, when I'm happy for YOU!
Care for others. Keep trying.
Honesty works best for me.
I can share my stuff. I have enough.

Kindness
Honesty
When I'm wise I think more, speak less. Generosity
Thoughtful Speech
Let's honor each who guide, or teach.
I forgive then I feel better.
Thanks to those who wiped my nose.
Through thick or thin, count me in. Respect

Forgiveness
Gratitude
Responsibility
I know my way. I walk my path.
I strive to be a better me.
Giving time from my day can help in some way.
Let's think big, be brave, now begin!

Principles
*Clap on the black syllables as you chant. Variation: call and Aspiration
echo or shout the guideline name you may recall for each 'line.' Service
Click the note symbol for tunes and recordings of the chants. Courage

Principles Activities
Try it now: Meet the 'How we Find Meaning' Guides.

The ‘How we Find Meaning’ guides are Prindi Principles,
Asta Aspiration, Serzo Service, and Cofi Courage. The
last syllable of many of their first names has something to
do with their shapes. I wonder if you can guess that
connection for each one....the answer is at the end of
this Principles section.
Art Project:
13-14-15-16
Print the drawing (page A3-4) of the four ‘How

we Find Meaning’ characters. Color the page
and think about what gives meaning to your
life. Consider if you already know your
principles and aspirations, if you already live a
courageous life of service or if you could still
improve. Glue the page to thicker paper if you
have it, then cut along the lines to make four
cards to use in the game below.
you wish you had. Keep taking turns until all pairs are matched. Try it as a
cooperative game and see how few turns you need to match them all.

Try it now: If you were head of the kingdom...
The 16 guidelines include qualities that have been important

to many cultures over time. The poster on the next page
shows those 16 guidelines with a picture for each one.
Are these the principles you live by? How do you decide
what path to take?
Imagine/Write: Eight Personal Principles
Imagine you are a leader of your country and you want the people to be happy. Can
you think of at least 8 important principles or rules to suggest for a happy life? What
would help people to make decisions day to day about how to think, act, or spend their
time? Write these suggestions down, then get in touch to tell us which guidelines
YOU thought of for your country.
If you want to really walk your talk, make a plan to test out living by the rules you listed
above. When you try it for real, do not be distracted from what you listed as most
important. Try it for a week then talk with someone about how it went. Revise or
update your rules if needed and try it again. See if it makes you feel happy to live by
them, and if it makes any of your decisions easier.

See a slideshow of these posters here.

Try it now: A force field against bad advice
Experiment: Shields Up!
You will need a bowl, water, talcum powder, a towel and an adult to help you. Fill
the bowl with water, leaving a little space at the top. Have the adult sprinkle talcum
powder evenly on the water, covering the whole surface until it's solid white. Take
care not to breathe in the powder. Make sure your fingers are dry, then dip a finger
quickly into and out of the water, all the way past the second knuckle. Did it get
wet? Your finger should stay dry, even though it was below the water. I wonder
why? If you keep it below the water a long time, does your finger still stay dry?
Like the talcum powder, your principles can act as a shield to protect you from bad advice so
that you are more able to help yourself, your friends, families, communities and the whole
world. When you follow your principles rather than bad advice you act wisely. You know how
to handle difficult situations. One symbol for wisdom is a white water lily because even
though it grows up through mud, it opens clean, pure and beautiful, protected from the dirt
around it.

Try it for real: Picture This
“What you are speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist.
Art Project: Finding Direction
For a week, observe people in your life,

including yourself. Can you notice when
someone's principles help them to make a
decision about what to do or what not to do?
Imagine there is an art or photo contest for

pictures showing people using their principles
to be happier. What would your picture look
like if you were to enter? Draw, paint or
photograph someone to capture the idea of
'Principles.' If you like, send us a copy or
photo of your artwork. We'd love to see it.
Here are some art projects we have done

involving symbols for the 16 guidelines,
including bookmarks, a string of flags, and
ornaments. Try these or your own ideas.

Try it for real: It's in My Hands
Have you played any clapping hand games? It's fun to try to keep up and play
faster, trying to remember the motions and the words. This clapping game is
based on the Positive Chants of the character guides. Each of the four verses
goes with one of the Parts of Ready Set Happy and each 'line' goes with one of
the 16 Guidelines. This game will take practice, but you will have lots of laughs as
you're learning. You will also be saying and hearing ideas about the guidelines
that you can use in your own life. Do you feel positive, negative or neutral as you
learn this game?
Clapping Game: It's In My Hands
Take time this week (with a partner to help you) to learn these
motions for the rhyme on the following page.
Claps -- There are seven types of claps, three you do by lap laugh
yourself and four with a partner:
• cross -- cross your hands and touch your palms to the top
of your own chest, just below your shoulders.
• lap -- touch your palms to the tops of your thighs.
• clap -- do a regular clap, both of your palms together.
• R – cross your right vertical palm to clap against your
partners right palm.
clap
• L – same as R but with left hands.
• back – touch backs of your hands to backs of your
partner's hands (thumbs to the outside).
• front – touch both palms to both your partner's palms
(thumbs to the inside).
Combination Motions – There are only three combinations used:

R
an introductory three beat combination to begin each verse
(cross, lap, clap), done twice as slowly
an eight beat combination for each line
(R, clap, L, clap, clap, back, front, clap*),
and a final combination for the end of the game.
(cross, lap, clap, front).
* last clap left off before intro combo if no syllable to match. L
That may be all you need to learn the motions, but they are also
listed with the words. Bold syllables and an audio file here will
help you match up the words and motions for each line.

It's In My Hands
(verse one): I THINK that... (verse one): cross lap clap
Each of you gives me a lesson. R clap L clap clap back front clap
I'm like water, patient, still, R clap L clap clap back front clap
searching for the path downhill. R clap L clap clap back front
I have what I need, if I don't feed my greed. clap R clap L clap clap back front
No need to wait let's celebrate clap R clap L clap clap back front
My joy times two, when I'm happy for YOU! clap R clap L clap clap back front
(verse two): Take ACTion... (verse two): cross lap clap
Care for others. Keep trying. R clap L clap clap back front clap
Honesty works best for me. R clap L clap clap back front
I can share my stuff. I have enough. clap R clap L clap clap back front clap
When I'm wise I think more, speak less. R clap L clap clap back front clap
(verse three): Re LATE it! (verse three): cross lap clap
Let's honor each who guide, or teach. R clap L clap clap back front clap
I forgive then I feel better. R clap L clap clap back front clap
Thanks to those who wiped my nose. R clap L clap clap back front
Through thick or thin, count me in. clap R clap L clap clap back front
(verse four): Find MEANing.... (verse four): cross lap clap
I know my way. I walk my path. R clap L clap clap back front
I strive to be a better me. clap R clap L clap clap back front
Giving time from my day can help in some way. clap R clap L clap clap back front clap
Let's think big, be brave, now begin! R clap L clap clap back front
(end): It's in.. my .. Hands! (end): cross lap.. clap.. front

Try it for real: Role model Roulette
“We cannot abdicate our conscience to

an organization, nor to a government.”
-- Albert Schweitzer, Germany/France.
You can choose your principles one by one

or you might follow the principles of someone
you look up to, a role model you respect, but
you don't want to follow blindly. How do you
choose the people you look up to? Who
looks up to you? This Imagine will help you
think about who you really want to imitate,
and who is looking to you for an example.
Imagine/Implement: Looking up, Looking over
Sit quietly and think for a moment about who you look up to. Are they celebrities?
Teachers? Sports stars? Now think about who you respect. Are they Nobel prize
winners? Religious figures? Experts in areas you care about? Who do you most
admire? Are they other students at school? Make a list of all the people that came to
your mind. Now as you go over the list, consider if you would really like to be like
each of them. Why? Why not? Can you imagine yourself as this person? Ask
yourself: What would it be like? Would you be happy? Would you be proud of
yourself?
It has been said that “Our best friends are those in whose company we are our best
selves.” Do you think you would be your best self in the company of the role models
on your list? What quality specifically would you like to improve on this week to
become more like your role models? Write that at the bottom of your list.
Now, think about anyone who looks up to you -- perhaps a little brother or sister, or a
younger friend. Are you an example worth imitating? How could you improve so
you'd be more of an encouragement to these others? During this week how will you
keep your ideas for improvement in mind so you don't forget your goals?
“When I'm trying to decide what to do, I think, what do I want to do? What would be good
for me to do? And what would be good for other people for me to do? Then I think of
them as me, myself, and I and have a conference.” -- Caeman Toombs, 10 years, USA

Instant Replay for Principles:
What Why is it useful

can be used as a to have
shield for principles?
bad advice?
Do you have any

questions about
Principles?
Which
situations challenge
your
principles?
Which of the 16 What does

guidelines would you Were there Prindi say?
most like to develop people on your “I know my ___.
yourself? list of role models As a pretend I walk my ___.”
you would do better leader, did you
not to follow? choose any principles
not on the list of 16
guidelines? What were they?
I wonder
if you think the Answers to Name Shape Connection:
photo of children Prindi He's a compass for finding direction, setting
walking to school was our course, making decisions.
a good choice for 'Principles'. Asta She's a star, symbol of reaching beyond limits,
great achievement.
Serzo He's a heart, symbol of compassion. The
Spanish word for heart is corazon.
Cofi He's a lion, symbol of courage. Lions are fierce
felines. The fire of the Olympic torch is
another symbol for courage.
The symbol for 'How we find Meaning' is a Greek letter Delta

which is shaped like a triangle, a stable shape. Delta
represents change in scientific notation. How we find meaning
in life steadies us in a world that is always changing.
Guideline 14 : Aspiration
► Honesty ► Aspiration 14

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy IV:How We Find Meaning 14 Aspiration p 14-1
Character Guide: Asta Aspiration
Asta strives
to improve every day,
ion m eans... inspired by nature, the arts,

Aspirat and the lives of others.
i ng to become
Stri v .
th a n we are
b ette r
nspi red
Bei ng i
ove,
to i mpr
ve,
to evol
me.
to b eco

remember them.
I strive to be
a better me.
“If you do not change direction,

you may end up
where you are heading.”
-- Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu

Race for Rampal
A short play about two sisters set in a summer field,
to be read aloud by two people.
Jenny: (a small child, laying on her back, listening to her older sister play the
flute, looking up at the clouds) Look at that one! It looks like a cat.
Like our cat at the old farm. Oh, now it's going away. I wanted to draw
a picture of it.
Sonja: (putting down her flute) But it's okay, now it looks like a swan. Do you
miss our old cat?
Jenny: Yes, things are always changing like the clouds. Sometimes I don't like it.
Sonja: But sometimes you do, like at the beginning of the summer when you
grew out of your old shoes and it made you mad at first...
Jenny: ...but then I got to wear your pretty shoes because I was big enough to
fit into them....I also liked it when summer came and it wasn't dark so
much anymore.
Sonja: At school they told us that even our skin is changing new cells for old,
all the time.
Jenny: Won't I look like me when I get big?
Sonja: You will, just little changes all the time. A little taller, a little stronger.
Jenny: Good! I want to be the fastest runner and win races. What do you want
to do?
Sonja: I want to play beautiful music on my flute, like Rampal. When I hear
the music he played it makes me feel wonderful. I want to be able to do
that, too. And, of course, I will come cheer you on at your races!
Jenny: Yes, yes, we can because everything is changing!
Sonja: If everything is changing, anything is possible!

Aspiration Activities
“Aspire not to have more,

but to be more.”
-- Archbishop Oscar
Romero, El Salvador
Try it now:
Secret Super Powers
Have you ever wished for super powers? Would you

use them for yourself or to help your family, your
friends, your community? Who would you be and what
would you do? Anything is possible, so take your time
to pick something really wonderful.
Imagine/Art Project: Visualize the Possibilities
Sit quietly with eyes closed and imagine you are asleep in your own bed. Imagine it is
early morning, and still dark. The sun is just peeking into your room. A ray of light
slowly crosses the floor to land warmly on your face. The light is powerful and it
contains the energy and ability for super human talents. All you have to do to get
those talents is to take in your first deep hopeful breath of the morning, setting your
intention to make the most of the day. Enjoy this powerful feeling as you inhale.
Imagine what you will do today as a super hero. When you are ready open your eyes.
Draw a picture of your super hero self successfully accomplishing what you imagined.
Write on your picture a positive affirmation describing the action such as, “I cure all
sickness by flying from patient to patient and giving them my magic medicine!”
Experiment: You are Powerful
Try these two experiments to “feel the power”.

1. Set up blocks or dominoes on end, close
together in a long line. Imagine they are each
a positive action. Knock over the first one
and watch the effect of what you started.
2. Inflate a balloon, rub it against your hair,

explore the invisible power of static by sticking
it to a wall. You have given the balloon the
power to do what it could not do before.

Try it now: You know better than to take my word for it!
Six quotes on Aspiration from around the world have

been cut in half. There are several difficulty levels to
choose from as you match them back up. If you make
it to Level 3 let us know! The answers are on the
Instant Replay page.
Puzzle/Game: Matches on the 3nd Level
matchups (Generosity and Responsibility).
Level 4: Find or write quotes about Aspiration or other guidelines to make
your own cards.

Matches on the 3nd Level -- Gamecards
G14 – 1
G14 – 2
Empowering goals
G14 – 3
are magnetic.
Nothing would be
They attract
done at all if one We are the
energies in your
waited until one generation...
life that contribute
could ...
to their fulfillment...
G14 – 4
G14 – 5 G14 – 6
When you reach

Failure is not We must be the
for the stars, you
falling down;... change...
may not quite
get them,...
G14 – B
G14 – A G14 – C
...but you won't
...we want to see come up with a ...we have been
in the world. handful of mud waiting for.
either.
– Mahatma Gandhi, -- Craig Kielburger,
India Canada
-- Leo Burnett, USA
G14 – D G14 – F
G14 – E
... do it so well that ...and repel things
...it is not getting that might distract
no one could find
up again. you.
fault with it.
-- Mary Pickford,
– John Henry Newman, -- Master Jou Tsung
Canada
UK Hwa, Dao of Taijiquan

Try it now: Remember, this is not a Test! Ballet slippers?
What inspires you to get better at something or

to accomplish more? When you see beautiful art
or nature, when you hear wise words or when
you see what others can accomplish in their
lives you may have a flash of inspiration. Keep
that flame alive, make a difference for yourself
and others by acting on your inspiration and
inspiring others. This moment is your chance,
your own real life. It is not a practice run!
You know you can affect other people. Just try yawning in a
crowded room! If you could inspire others to be happier, would you
want to do it? How would you quickly describe to your friends or
your Grandma what the 16 guidelines are? You may help others to
achieve happiness if you find a way to help them (and you)
remember the list of the guidelines.
16 GUIDELINES
for Life
Humility Word Play: Sentences to Remember

Patience
Make a sentence or two where every word starts
Contentment
with the same letter as a guideline. First letters for
Delight guidelines 1-16 are HPCD KHGS RFGR PASC.
Kindness Example: “Her Practical, Caring Doctor Kevin Has
Honesty Given Sarah Really Fresh Grapes. Raisins
Probably Also Save Children.”
Generosity
thoughtful Speech Or, “Hopping Purple Cars During Kangaroo
Holidays Gave Some Red Frogs Green Rashes,
Respect Particularly After Sunset Came.”
Forgiveness Crazy sentences are easier to remember. Practice
Gratitude decoding your own sentences back to the list of 16.
Responsibility
Principles You could write a poem, chant, story or song to remember

Aspiration the guidelines. Read The Gift of King Harmen fable to
meet the characters and remember their order. It can be
Service
found here and here.
Courage

When I want to say the guidelines from
Reach!
memory I end up using the names of
the character guides. I chant,
Hutri, Peglo, Cona, Deba.

Kaipo, Hodi, Genca, Spibu.
Resco, Fola, Graca, Riche.
Prindi, Asta, Serzo, Cofi.
May you be inspired to create

something of your own you can
remember and share with others.
Picture Play: Show me the Memory!

Create a drawing, photograph, painting, cartoon or poster to remember the
guidelines. You could draw a simple cartoon story of 16 frames where one guide
shows up in each frame. Circles in the Sand, an example of this kind of story, is
given on the next page. You could make your story into a cartoon (or a sand story
as we have done). You may think of another creative way to remember the
guidelines. We'd love to see all your creations!
Try it for real: Tell Me a Story
Learn the story on the next page and tell

it to someone while drawing the figures
in wet sand or dirt or on paper. Begin
drawing the icons for each guideline
near the top of the circle (with the leaf
for Hutri Humility) and go clockwise until
you arrive back at the top. May your
audience be inspired!

Circles in the Sand
a 16 symbol sand story to be drawn as it is told.
In front of a white house, as if wanting to learn, a leaf at the tree top

Humility
falls, floats through a school window and lands in a classroom on a globe
Patience
waiting on the teacher's desk, surrounded by enough green apples Contentment
for the celebration of a birthday. A smiling child holding two balloons Delight
takes an apple , walks to the window, and lets one balloon go outside.
The balloon floats up hitting a diamond-shaped kite sparkling in the sun,

Kindness
causing coins to fall from the kite to the ground
Honesty
where they land in a basket already filled with food for the poor.
Generosity
The basket, on the stage where the Mayor is giving a speech, Thoughtful
also holds gifts for the people of the town, and bubbles for the children. Speech
When the Mayor finishes reading aloud from an ancient scroll

Respect
the crowd cheers, frightening a young child who begins to cry.
Forgiveness
As her tears are drying, the Mayor hands her a gingerbread house Gratitude
with money inside for her family in the form of a check. Responsibility
When she is older she will be able to have a good education.
The child is sleepy and points in the direction of home.

Principles
The family walks through the twilight with stars shooting overhead Aspiration
and clover serving as a carpet of heart-shaped leaves below. Service
Safely home the child picks a lone dandelion and blows the puffball Courage
seeds. The breeze lifts them to the tree top as leaves continue to fall.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

Try it for real: 100 days or less
What one thing would you like to achieve or improve on?

Start with a general goal and then make it specific.
'Getting healthier' or 'getting better at basketball' could
become a specific goal like 'doing 50 pushups in a row' or
'shooting 60% freethrows'. “Play guitar well' might be
accomplished by 'practice 20 minutes each day.' Maybe
you want to be less angry or to keep your room clean or to
make three new friends. Your goal could be any positive
thing about yourself you can imagine. Once you have
determined your goal, try this group project.
Group Project: Visualize It, Achieve It!
Set your goal. Ask two friends to choose their goals so you can support each other.
Plan to work toward this improvement together for 100 days, checking in by phone, email
or in person at least every three days. If 100 days seems too long, agree on something
smaller like 50 days or 20 days. You may achieve something you thought impossible!
This really works. At the Magic Tortoise Taijiquan School people achieve goals each year
using the 100 day program and Master Jou, Tsung Hwa's four essentials for improvement
(shown below). Do you think it is possible to touch your chin to your toe without bending your
leg? Using these suggestions I did it in less than 100 days! Another year my music students
and I achieved our goal of recording our own CD. I don't use the word “impossible” in quite
the same way anymore. May you achieve and inspire more than you thought possible!
Know Yourself
Yao you zi zhi
Do Your Best
Jin li er wei
Don’t Overdo It
Guo you bu ji
Make a Little
Progress Every Day
Ri jin cun gong
Calligraphy by
Photo by Tim Toombs Almanzo Lamoureux

Try it for real: Listen to your Inner Voice...and take Notes
“All of this will not be finished in the first one hundred days, nor will it be finished in
the first one thousand days, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet; but let us
begin.” -- John F. Kennedy, Jr., USA
At 12 years old Craig Kielburger of Canada was inspired to begin to help exploited children
around the world. Now his organization Free the Children, funded and staffed by children and
youth, has built over 450 schools and inspired more than a million young people to get
involved. You have the unique ability to help someone see their purpose, to move them to
action that would be helpful, even amazing. That person is yourself! What is your passion,
something you feel strongly about? What are your strengths? If you listen to your inner voice
you can turn these into action to help humanity evolve.
.
Notice: Note to Self
What do you want to set in motion? This week listen to your inner voice. Make a note
whenever you have a little flash of inspiration that there is some important work to begin
or whenever you notice one of your own strengths. At the end of the week, talk with an
adult about how you might take a first step to translate this potential into action.
Hutri learns,
Peglo waits calmly,
Cona appreciates,
Deba enjoys.
Kaipo cares,
Hodi trades fairly,
Genca shares,
Spibu speaks carefully.
Resco respects,
“Find your gift. Fola forgives,
Find your passion. Graca thanks,
Put them together and you Riche steps up.
will change the world.”
Prindi finds direction,
-- Craig Kielburger, Asta strives,
Canada Serzo serves,
Cofi braves.

Instant Replay for Aspiration:
What is your gift?

Which What is your
What was your favorite passion?
sights or events of the Aspiration
natural world quote?
inspire you?
Where
does the leaf land in
“Circles in
the Sand”?
Are you
willing to begin
important work that Can you list
may take more than a the 16 Guidelines
lifetime to finish? from memory?
Which method do
you use? What does
Asta say?
Answers to quote matching: “I ___ to be
1F 2D 3C 4B 5E 6A A ____ me.”
Did you
teach the
guidelines to
anyone else? How?
Were they inspired? I wonder
if you think the
photo of a piano
student was a good
choice for 'Aspiration'.

Guideline 15 : Service
► Generosity ► Service 15
www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy IV:How We Find Meaning 15 Service p 15-1
Character Guide: Serzo Service
Serzo serves
others, volunteering
his time and
eans...
Service
m
creative energy.
y gi vi ng
Hap pi l
me to p eopl e,
our ti
s and
project
to
causes
hers.
hel p ot

remember them.
Giving time
from my day
can help
in some way.
“You know if you are having

a bad day, it's good to think
that maybe your good day has
gone off to help someone else.”
-- Caeman Toombs, 10 yrs, USA

The Third Bowl
“Once there was a woman who lived a long life making pottery for our village.
She made the cups with which we toasted 'good health' to each other, the
plates on which we ate together to celebrate or grieve, and the bowls in which
we shared our food with the holy ones who helped nourish our souls. One day
she realized her body was in its last days of service to her and she decided to
make three more bowls. She made them beautiful, identical, and with love.
Three friends came to her side as she rested her final day in this world, already
past the point of speaking. The bowls were next to her with a note: 'Please take
one of these with you.' The symbols on the bowls meant, 'May this work
continue to be of service after I am gone'. Now the story becomes three
stories because each bowl served in a different way.
The friend who took the first bowl thought it was too pretty to use and set it
high on a shelf with many other lovely things. It was seldom noticed and years
later was broken as someone tried to clean the dust from it, ending its story.
The second visitor to the potter was a teacher who brought the bowl to school.
The children enjoyed it, drew it, were inspired to make bowls like it -- a few
even became potters. Their images and bowls served many people. This second
bowl served its purpose and started many stories before it was broken.
I was the third visitor and a young man with no idea of what might be a good
purpose for the third bowl. I had no fancy shelf, no students, and no need for a
bowl myself. A bowl can be used in many ways, so I asked friends and neighbors
to write what they needed on slips of paper and put them in the bowl.
To my surprise, some of the notes were offers of other things people had to
give. At first, I matched up needs with offers one by one. In time the bowl
overflowed; people learned how to ask for the help they needed and how to give
when they had more than enough. We began to meet once in a while to help each
other however we could. This attitude has became a part of daily life, and now
the bowl and the meetings are no longer needed.
As I myself have now lived a long life it is time to send the bowl on its way. I
decided to give the bowl to my next visitor to take it home and find its new
purpose. The first bowl was never much more than a vision; the second achieved
everything a bowl can be; the third has changed us all. Thank you for your visit.
It is you who will decide what happens now in the story of the third bowl.”
* * *

Service Activities
Try it now: The Art of Service
“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his
individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.” Martin Luther King Jr., USA
Art Project: Tribute

Read The Third Bowl story on the previous page. Imagine
you were in the art class in the story and draw the potter's
bowl as a tribute to her life of service. If you can find some
clay make a bowl you plan to give away. Think about who
you will give it to and what type of bowl would serve them.
Consider telling them the story as you give the bowl to them.
You have received gifts of health, abilities, and time here as a

human which you can use to serve others. Will your gifts be used
or waste away collecting dust? Remember that service is not an
exact science -- you do not have to be perfect to start. Even as a
young person, you can be of service if you begin with clear
motivation and keep your goal in mind to help others.
This also works in language. You can read a word, even if most of
the letters are incorrect, if you have the first and last letter in place.
You can move ahead even if all the details are not right.
Word Play: Decoding Einstein
Each word in this paragraph has the correct first and last
letter, but the other letters are scrambled. Can you decode
this message from 1950 from Albert Einstein?
"A hmaun bnieg is prat of the wlohe, caelld by us 'Unrevise,' a

prat litimed in tmie and sacpe. He epxencires hlesmif, his
tguthohs and fginlees as sthinmoeg satepared form the rset -
a knid of oticapl deliosun of his cciousonsness. Tihs deliosun
is a knid of psiorn for us, resitrictng us to our psonearl dseiers
and to affcetion for a few pnoress nseaert to us. Our tsak
msut be to fere oveelurss form tihs psiorn by windeing our
clirce of cpassomion to erabmce all linivg catreures and the
wolhe nratue in its btauey. Ndooby is albe to avechie tihs
ctemeoplly, but the stinvrig for scuh aevemechint is in iletsf a
prat of the lbeartioin, and a fdoontauin for iennr serucity."

Try it now: What a special grain of sand!
You may think “What can I do? Just one person?” An individual can make a big difference,
and it has been pointed out that “you have a unique and precious opportunity for positive
impact.” That last snowflake starts the avalanche, the last sand grain starts a landslide.
Experiment: Shifting Sand
Find a bucket of sand, a small bowl, and a place to make a pile

of sand. Scoop a little sand with the bowl. Pour slowly and
carefully onto a single spot on the ground. Keep pouring and
refilling, watching the sides of the sand hill. At some point, one
grain will cause a major shift. Could you be like that grain for a
useful shift in your family, school or community?
Future avalanche?
Try it now: I'd give my life to...
Why do some people live lives of service? Often it begins with an attitude, a wish to help
others, but results in great satisfaction. It feels good. It fills a hole. Complaining increases
your sense of powerlessness. Doing something useful, being part of the solution, feels good.
Puzzle: Full service from bank to blank
Use the Word Bank below to fill in the blanks. Answers are on the Instant Replay page.
1 The sun does not _____ for a few trees and flowers, but for the ____ world's joy.
-- Henry Ward Beecher, USA
2 Life's persistent and most urgent ________ is “What are you doing for______?”
-- Martin Luther King, Jr., USA
3 Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ____ you can, in ___
the places you can, at all the _____ you can, to all the people you can, as long
as ever you can. -- John Wesley, UK
4 Those who _____ sunshine to the lives of others cannot ____ it from themselves.
-- Sir James Barrie, Scotland, author of Peter Pan.
5 Are you in earnest? Seize this very ______. Whatever you can do or _____ you
can do --begin it. --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Germany
6 It is better to light a ______ than to curse the _______-- traditional Chinese proverb
7 This is the true joy of ____, the being used up for a _______ recognized by yourself
as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish, little clod
of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to
making you _____. -- George Bernard Shaw, Ireland
Word Bank: times think life happy shine others bring question
purpose minute darkness all ways wide keep candle

Try it for real: Spending Precious Time
Whatever you do to fill your day today, you will trade a day of your life for it! Make it
a good trade. You may have a lot of choice or very little about where you are in a day,
but you have a lot of control over how you do what you do. Try this activity to take a
picture of how you are spending your time.
Notice/Record: Sand through the hourglass
Record how you spend your time for a day or a week.

Write down the main types of activities that occupy your
time. Look at your record to see how much time you
spend on school, on helping your family, on bathing and
eating, on playtime, etc.
Are you happy with what you see? Would you miss a
few hours of watching TV, playing games, or whatever
you do with your spare time? See if you have some
time you could do some volunteer work to help others.
12
9 3
Volunteer: At your Service
Try volunteering for a few hours to see if it is more

satisfying than your other optional activities. For instance
you could help an elderly person with their garden or a
cooking project or wash their car. If you know someone
who has trouble seeing you could read to them. Perhaps
you could go with your family to help at the library, local
food bank, or to clean or plant flowers at your school.
Ask your teacher what you could do to help at school.

Ask your parents what you could do to help in your
neighborhood.

Try it for real: A Storm of Helping Hearts
To be healthy and strong enough to help is a great gift.
“Do service when you can so that when you can't other people can do a service for you.”
-- Caeman Toombs, USA
Group Project: What service! Plan, Do, Rejoice!
Cut out a number of heart shapes from a variety of

colors of paper. With friends or classmates,
brainstorm ideas for service that young people can
do in your community. On each heart write one of
these ideas. Put all the hearts up on a wall or
bulletin board. When someone does each activity or
if you see or hear of someone else doing it turn the
heart over and draw a big smile on it. If you hear of
other acts of service, add new hearts to the wall. Dryer lint/sheet hearts,
Think - how wonderful it is that people offer service. click photo for instructions.
Treasure Hunt: Service, Service, Read all about it!
Read a local newspaper or the news online to find an article about someone who was
recognized for an act of service. Discuss with someone what made the act an act of
service. Who benefited from this effort? Add the article to your heart wall above.
Volunteers help to get a new building ready for High school students volunteer to play for the birthday
their community and learn a lot in the process. party of an 80-yr-old woman displaced by a hurricane.

Try it for real: Giving Back
Imagine: Breathing out Peace
If something bad happens this week -- you have a bad day or a headache or a flat
bicycle tire -- imagine at that moment that because this happened to you it will not
happen to others. Imagine you have chosen to take the discomfort of this from
everyone else who is also having that experience. Breathe deeply and slowly as
you think, “I'm breathing in their discomfort, destroying it, and breathing out peace.”
Notice if it makes you feel better. Read the poem on the next page.
Throughout a day, how many people provide you personally with some sort of service? Do
your parents or caregivers work to maintain your home by making money? Do they go
shopping, cook, serve, and clean? Do your friends help you with your homework or tell you
the latest news? Does someone you don't even know spontaneously watch out for you as
you cross the street or help in emergencies? How wonderful if you have examples of service.
Is this service provided with a light, cheerful

attitude or a heavy sense of duty or
obligation? Does the attitude matter?
Notice/Act: Service with a Smile
Pick a day to notice and count every

person who does something that serves
you personally. Notice their attitude while
serving and how that makes you feel.
On a different day just notice what you do to give back or to

help out and provide service to others. Are you cheerful
while helping? Is it easier to serve friends than enemies or
people you have not put into either group? In your typical
day, do you spend more time serving others or expecting
them to serve you?
On a third day look for opportunities to be of service to

everyone. No matter how old you are you can always help
by being a good listener, being patient and kind. You can
clean up after yourself, tell people you appreciate what they
do for you, and pay attention to who in your group might
need a little extra help with something. Smile as you help
out wherever you can. That's a good start.

Where does my good day go?
At noon I lost a thing I dearly love:

my “good day” used to fit me like a glove.
I got so used to seeing it each day
I missed it when it simply went away.
It made me wonder, so I asked to know,
“When it leaves me, where does my good day go?”
Did it have someone else to serve but me?

Like saving kittens stuck high in a tree?
Did it read to the children at my school?
Or rake the leaves to help old Mrs. Jewel?
Did it coach basketball at Father's gym
or help the food bank put the new shelves in?
The answer came to me as I got home.

A man from Mother's work called on the phone.
He'd been so sick but now he called to say
at noon his sickness simply went away.
A thought came to my mind right then and there:
my good day must have felt the need to share.
It seems my good day took a break from me

to spend some time with this man's family.
It volunteered to make his children smile
who hadn't done so in the longest while.
So next time I won't worry since I know
the kind of place a good day just might go.

Instant Replay for Service:
Why
is your attitude
Which important
was your favorite while giving
quote about service?
How
do you give back Service?
to your
community?
What
positive landslides
do you want
Did you
to start?
learn new ways
to serve your
school or neighbors?
What were they?
I wonder if
you think the Do you spend
photo of children more time serving
hammering was a good others or being
choice for 'Service'. served?
What would
you do with
the 'third bowl'?
Word Bank answers:

What
questions do 1 shine wide
you have about 2 question others
3 ways all times
Service? 4 bring keep
5 minute think
6 candle darkness
7 life purpose happy

Guideline 16 : Courage
► Thoughtful Speech ► Courage 16

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy IV:How We Find Meaning 16 Courage p 16-1
Character Guide: Cofi Courage
Cofi braves
difficulties and challenges
... to do the right thing.
e means
Courag
y
g th e b raver
Havi n thi ng
d o th e ri ght
to
en w h en i t is
e v .
i c ul t or scary
di ff

remember them.
Let's
think big,
be brave,
now begin!
“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes

courage is the quiet voice at the end of the
day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.' ”
-- Mary Ann Radmacher,

writer/artist, USA

Keep going
Begin!
Get all the best ideas

from everywhere you can.
Decide on what's important
and make your action plan.
Be a force of nature,
move minds and mountains too.
Be the change you want to see
and let your light shine through.
An ocean starts with just one drop,

an avalanche one snowflake.
The journey of a thousand miles
starts with the step that YOU take.
This is a beginning.
It will not be the end
if you will keep on chanting:
Think big, be brave, begin.

Think Big, be Brave, Begin.
Think BIG be BRAVE, BEGIN!
THINK BIG, BE BRAVE, BEGIN!!

Start

Courage Activities
Try it now: The 'Write' kind of courage
How does it feel to have courage compared to

not having it? You may use one type of
courage to deal calmly with the challenges
that come when you get hurt or sick or lose a
loved one or find yourself in a dangerous
situation. It takes another type of courage to
admit when you have made a mistake or
accidentally broken something or to apologize
if you have said something you regret.
It takes yet another kind of courage to

voluntarily take on a challenging task or to try
something new or unfamiliar. This is true for
everyday tasks as well as big tasks like helping
to reverse deforestation or end child labor.
Craig Kielburger was 12 when he started to fight for the rights of children. His youth driven
organization ‘Free the Children’ helps many young people worldwide who are in poverty,
exploited or powerless. Explore how it feels to try something new in this experiment.
Experiment/Notice: The Challenge to Get it 'Write'
Write your name. Now try writing it with your other hand. Try writing it with eyes
closed. Try writing it with your foot! How do you feel as you try this new activity?
Does it make you nervous? Do you worry what other people think? What kind of
self-talk is going in in your own head? Now sit calmly and take three slow, deep
breaths to help your body calm down and focus. You may be able to concentrate
better now. Give it another try. What do you notice?
As you choose to take on new challenges you can

accomplish more with a relaxed mind. Give that little voice
that is always judging, praising or criticizing a well-deserved
rest. When you are doing challenging, important work you
might feel less relaxed, but that is a good time for you to
keep a light attitude, have fun and be cheerful. Being
purposeful and positive will not only help you, it will also
help those around you to be calm and accomplish more.
Strive to keep smiling, be kind, and not take yourself too
seriously, whatever you are doing.

Try it now: Brave or irresponsible?
Sometimes courage is confused with risky

action. It is not courageous to put yourself or
others at risk for no reason. That is
irresponsible. There are plenty of meaningful
challenges without jumping into pointless ones.
Some purposeful challenges involve risks.

The life of Wangari Maathai has included many
dangers as she has grown from a barefoot girl
walking to school to be the first woman in her
region of Africa with a doctorate degree.
Along the way Professor Maathai

faced economic hardship,
threats, imprisonment, public
criticism for her activist efforts,
and was divorced by her
husband.
Photo by Lindsay Stark (Uganda)
In the 1970's Professor Maathai began the Greenbelt

Movement which has now planted 30 million trees to reverse
the deforestation that ruined her family's land and livelihood.
In 2004 she was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. She says
that when she is focused on improving a situation she doesn't
see the dangers or let her mind focus on the fear.
“If you understand and you are disturbed, then you are
moved to action. That's exactly what happened to me.”
-- Professor Wangari Maathai, Kenya

When my daughter was small she came up
with the idea that positive challenges are
like stretching a rubber band. You want to
stretch yourself, to grow, to learn, to do, but
to keep aware if you are reaching a point of
damage where you might lose your flexibility
for future challenges.
Experiment/Draw: Stretch
You will need a rubber band, a pencil and a big piece of paper. It will be easier to
do the second part if you have a partner. Trace around the rubber band. Predict
how far you will be able to stretch the rubber band without danger of breaking it.
Now stretch it a little and trace it again. Can you stretch it to twice it's original
length? Three times? Try NOT to break the rubber band. Stop before it's too
Late. Draw the biggest stretch you are comfortable with. That may be different
from someone else's level, and that's okay. It is not a contest. What is your
capacity to take on new challenges before you get stretched too thin? Could your
rubber band stretch a little more? Can you?
e
rv
Se
y
Tr
w
ro
G
arn
Le

Try it now: Learning to trust, to live and let live
You can practice having courage by taking small risks in safe ways, like playing “Catch me.”
Game: Catch me
Ask three people you trust to stand in a tight circle around you. Close your eyes and
slowly start to fall backwards from standing, keeping your body stiff and straight. The
three people stop you from falling further by putting their palms against your back.
Take it in turns to be caught. This trust will help you get stronger by showing that you
can overcome fears. It is an example of how to ask for help as well as how to support
others when they are having a challenging time. Don't let them down!
”Life is mostly froth and bubble

Two things stand like stone
kindness in another's trouble
and courage in your own.”
-- Adam Lindsay Gordon,

poet, Australia
Promise: Don't bug me
Are you afraid of spiders or insects? They are

so small and you are so big. They have much
more reason to be frightened of you. Are you
in the habit of not liking them or are they a
real danger? Make a promise for a day not to
kill anything, not even bugs. No fly swatting,
no ant squashing. Could you watch where
you step so you don't accidentally crush
someone underfoot? Talk with adults you
trust about what might be a danger where you
live, and learn how to take creatures who
should not be inside to the outside safely.

Try it for real: Dare to shed the 'should'.
Which takes more courage -- to accept

a challenge to do something you know
is wrong or dangerous, or to refuse to
do it? Sometimes it takes a lot of
courage to do the right thing. Even
when you know which choice would be
better, you may want to avoid that
choice just because you “should” do it.
Sometimes “should” makes it feel like
you are giving up your power.
To make a shift in how you think try changing the words you use from “I should do that” to
“It would be a better choice if I did that.” Replace your judgmental “should” with a more
empowering phrase so it is easier to make the choice that is right for you.
Notice/Reframe: Replace to keep your power
This week notice when you say or think the word “should”. Replace it with “It would be
better if...” as you speak to others, in your self-talk and as you make choices. Notice if
it helps you to be more courageous when you feel you are coming from this place of
strength, so that you can say 'no' when that would be the better choice for you.
SHOULD
BHOULD
BEOULD
BETULD
BETTLD
BETTED
BETTER
Try it for real: Fail faster and achieve great success!
Do you not do things you would

like to try because you are afraid
you might not be good at them?
Most things are not so important
that it matters that you do them
perfectly, especially as you are
learning. You fell down as you
learned to walk or ride a bicycle,
and probably don't worry or think
about that anymore. Everyone,
from scientists to musicians,
makes lots of mistakes while
learning something new. This
is normal.
If you only try things you are good

at you will rob yourself of many
things that are worthwhile to do
even if you never get “good at
them”.
The important questions about how you spent your time will be: Did you have fun? Did
you learn something? Did you help someone? As you decide what to try, instead of
asking “Will I be good at that?” ask “What's the potential for fun, learning, and helping?”
You can read more about this on the website for the Greater Good Science Center.
Sometimes it helps to ask, “What's the worst that could happen?” Some of the things we
worry about are not that important, or won't last because things are always changing.
Decide if the challenge is worth the risk considering the potential for growth or benefit.
Observe: Fear of Failure
Watch yourself this week. What challenges come your way?

Do you back away from them or embrace them? Are you afraid
to try new things or are you willing to make mistakes to learn?
Notice how it feels if you back down or if you go for it.
“Genius? Nothing! Sticking to it is the genius! I've failed my way to success!”

-- Thomas Edison, inventor, USA.

Try it for real: Living the Courageous Legacy of the 16 Guidelines
Who do you know personally who has done something courageous? Who else have you
heard about who has been brave? What have you done that took courage on your part?
Photograph/Draw: Caught you Being Good
Imagine there is a photo contest to show 'Courage' in action. See if you can catch
someone 'doing good' this week, someone being brave and taking great responsibility or
showing one of the other 16 guideline qualities you've been reading about. Use a
camera (disposable ones are very cheap) to take their picture or draw them. Send us
a copy of the picture or drawing you like the best. We'd love to see them!
COURAGE
You have been reading Ready Set Happy and thinking about these ideas so are becoming an
expert with personal experience of the 16 guidelines. I wonder if, in your opinion, you think
these issues apply in a meaningful way to your life today.

“The minute we follow the Guidelines,
our lives change.”
-- 16 Guidelines for Life, the Basics
For real for real: Live the Legacy
Imagine if you put these 16 Guidelines into practice in your life. What would it feel like
to be living this wisdom? Would you be happier? Are you brave enough to move your
reality closer to this vision? To evolve? Can you take all you have learned by playing
with the 16 Guidelines and use it as part of your personal toolkit on your journey to build
a happy life for yourself and others?
Can you plan how to put this into practice? One part of your plan may be from now on to
keep one of the guidelines in mind each week so you don't forget the most important
ideas. At the beginning of each week review the Instant Replay for that guideline to see if
you still remember the answers.
The Guidelines have the potential to bring peace not only to yourself but to your parents,
family, society, country and eventually to the whole world.
What wonderful
potential! A glass of
water has the
potential to cure your
thirst, but you have to
be the one to drink it.
The Guidelines are

like a delicious drink
on a hot day, but what
good comes of them
is really up to YOU!
Ready...
Set...
Happy!

Instant Replay for Courage:
What
What have you done that
is the difference took
between courage courage?
How
and risky
can you be more calm
action?
while trying
something
new?
Is it
only worthwhile doing
those things that
you are
Does it take good at?
more courage to
take a dare or to
refuse one?
I wonder if
Are
you think the
you able to
photo of a splinter
replace 'should' with
being removed was a good
'it would be better' Did you
choice for 'Courage'.
to keep your power? observe and
draw or photograph
someone being brave or
courageous?
I wonder
how you plan to
use these 16
guidelines in your toolkit
to build a happy life.

Appendix 1:
A way to begin -- One family's experience with the 16 Guidelines
This is the story of how our family of 5 has been using the 16 Guidelines during 2007, and it
includes some suggestions of how you might like to approach this resource. I enjoyed
exploring the16 Guidelines in depth in my roles as parent, music teacher, and teacher of
Sunday classes for children. Ready Set Happy is one of the results.
What I have learned while parenting three children with very different personalities, teaching
music to students with varied learning styles and teaching classes for toddlers through to
adults in secular and several different faith traditions, is that not everyone will (or should) use
Ready Set Happy in the same way. How you approach it will depend on your personality and
whether you are a child, a parent, a teacher, or other caring adult.
Ready Set Happy has 16 sections, one for each guideline. Each section has
● a page showing a photographic poster for that guideline;
● a page of graphics introducing the cartoon character guide which includes
-- a definition of the guideline,
-- a description of the character guide's main characteristics,
-- a drawing of the character guide, and
-- the character guide's Positive Chant (associated sound files are here);
● a page with a play, poem, song or chant which illustrates the guideline;
● three quick 'Try it now' activities which take about 30 minutes each;
● three longer 'Try it for real' activities to internalize the concepts over several days or a
week; and
● an Instant Replay page with review questions.
Appendices 2 and 3 summarize all 16 guidelines in text, symbols, pictures, and song.
If you are a child or young person:

Good for you - using this on your own! I hope you have
a great time and share it with others. I suggest you start
with the guideline that interests you the most. The 'Try
it now' activities will give you a quick taste of success. If
you find those activities interesting, or you learn from
them, then start the 'Try it for real' activities the following
week. If these ideas make you happier, keep going!
You could start with the Instant Replay at the end of
each section, guessing what activities were used to get
those questions. If you like one type of activity, for
example the art projects, science experiments or
poems, you could skim the chapters for those types of
activities. There is no wrong way to go about it.

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy A1: A Way to Begin A1-1
If you are a parent or caregiver working with one child:
Move at whatever speed suits you, the child, and the time you have together. If you plan to
cover all the material, from one to three weeks per guideline is a good range to keep interest
and let the ideas sink in. You may need to recruit friends or neighbors/classmates/siblings for
some group activities.
Do you know your child's learning

style? If they are auditory learners you
can read to them or listen to the sound
files. If they are visual, let them try the
art activities first. You could find
picture books with the same themes at
your local library. If they are
kinesthetic learners, try the science
experiments. If they learn through
writing things down, teach the sand
story in Aspiration and let them copy
the icons or write out the chants.
You don't have to do every activity for each guideline. If they get it, move on. Ask them if
they are learning about any of these 16 subjects at school and coordinate your schedule with
what they are learning there.
If you are a family using the guidelines at home:
I recommend choosing one time during

the week to do as many of the 'Try it now'
activities as possible, and choosing one
'Try it for real' activity to concentrate on
for the week. The following week you
could choose another 'Try it for real'
activity or move on to a new guideline.
You may spend more time on some
guidelines than others. Organizing to
check-in in the morning and evening is a
good way to keep that guideline in mind
all day to make it a part of your life, and
not just a theory. This would also be a
good time to sing or say the Positive
Chant for that guideline.

If you are a teacher or other adult working with a group of children:
You may find the 'Try it now' activities best suited to

a classroom environment. If you have the students
every day, small groups of children could work with
certain guidelines and teach them to the others!
If you meet once a week allow several weeks to
explore each guideline.
In our Sunday classes we take about three weeks per guideline. We use a guitar and the
Positive Chants to get the important ideas ringing in the ears of the students throughout the
week. You don't need to be a great guitar player or singer to do this. For all the Positive
Chants play a C chord on beats 1 2 and 4 and a Csus4 (sounds fancy but it's just a C chord
with a little finger added on the D string, string 4, at fret three) on beat 3. Or you can
download the sound files (see Appendix 2) and play them for the children. But they'll like the
guitar better, even if you're a beginner, so be brave.
Our family experience:
You may get some insight into how

you want to use the 16 Guidelines by
reading our story, so I offer it in that
spirit. My children were 10, 16, and
20 when I received two preliminary
booklets prepared for adults attending
international conferences on
Happiness and Its Causes.
These books provided several pages

of text on each of the 16 Guidelines.
My 10-yr-old son and I decided it
might be useful to make a poster for
each one of these guidelines as a
starting point for Sunday classes,
so we set out to learn about them. Can a person learn to be happier?

Each week my son and I spent about an hour on
Sunday morning at home, reading aloud to each
other, and discussing the few pages. We wrote down
on a small note card anything we thought was
important. On one half of the card I wrote my
thoughts, on the other half he wrote his. I wrote down
comments he made that I thought might be useful to
other children - some of those quotes are included in
Ready Set Happy. After our pleasant time discussing
these big ideas, we put the note card up on the fridge
for the week.
Every morning, as he headed out to school or play,

we reminded each other of the guideline for the week
with the intention to observe that quality in ourselves
or others during the day or perhaps try to exemplify it.
At bedtime we checked in to see what we had each noticed. We did this check-in almost
every morning and night for the week -- sometimes we forgot. On the following Sunday we
started with the next guideline.
As we worked through one guideline per week, we began to get

a sense of what photo might represent each guideline. My son
and I discussed how to make this information attractive and
memorable for children. We came up with gamecards using a
cartoon character based on a simple memorable shape for each
guideline, and he began designing a game based on these
cards. The simple matching game is included in Ready Set
Happy, and a more involved game design is still in progress.
You can see this card bigger by clicking here.
At the same time we were involved with a one-Sunday-a-month program for families where a
traditional story was told to the children. Our role was to write a short musical moral and sing
it with the families right after the stories to help the children remember the main point. The
adults seemed to enjoy this as much as the children, so we extended this story and song idea
to the guidelines; we wrote a fable of our own to introduce the character guides we had
drawn, and we wrote a chant with a tune for each of the guidelines.
By the time we began weekly Sunday classes in September we had completed the cycle of
16 weeks on our own, had finished the posters, and had begun working with Essential
Education on the Children's Kit.

Family and friends have been a big part of our experience with
the guidelines, lending their assistance to develop this
component of the Children's Kit. My daughter helped with
editing the fable and made suggestions for character
development; my sister, my husband and friends from around
the world contributed photos they had taken to enhance the
activities; my younger son helped by reviewing text, and my
older son helped by keeping us smiling (he's got Delight down,
that one). Eventually Ready Set Happy found it's editor and its
title, and the project expanded to the book you see now - truly a
community effort on an international level.
Reflection on the last year:
It was a wonderful gift to get to work with these ideas

in depth, and to build the vocabulary of these 16
qualities with my children. When we read comics in
the newspaper or see movies, we discuss, 'Which
one of the guidelines does this relate to? How?' and
our understanding keeps growing. My children
understand that these are the ideas I think are
important and feel are worth our time and attention.
I have precious memories of the time I spent on those

Sunday mornings snuggled with my youngest on the
couch, reading and talking about important ideas.
Another highlight was the smiles on the faces of the community as I paused during singing
Belly Blues for Contentment and the children in the group spontaneously finished the
punchline, with the adults laughing out loud. What I am learning from the guidelines and work
to practice in my own life is firmly nudging me down the path toward being a happier person.
As we prepare to put Ready Set Happy online, my children

are all in transition: one to middle school across town, one
to college across the state, and the oldest to a summer in
Africa halfway across the world. Each of them has different
guidelines well in hand and others not realized. This work
has provided a timely opportunity for me to help write a love
letter, not only to these children but to all children of the
world, and across the wisdom of the centuries. These are
the important ideas I would communicate to any of them, to
any grandchildren or great-grandchildren I am privileged to
know and especially those I won't know.

Have any important ideas been left out? As a music teacher I thought of one possibility to
add.... Harmony. Perhaps Harmony is not separate from the 16 qualities but is a result of the
blending of the other guidelines. Harmony within and Harmony without.
The social scientists tell us that a big part of our happiness is

about meaningful interpersonal connections. So to what we
(my son, my editor, other FDCW authors and I) have written
about the guidelines I add a specific suggestion - turn off the
television, put down the video games, step away from the
computer sometimes and pick up a musical instrument and play
with someone. That instrument could be your own voice or your
own hands playing a clapping game like the one in the
Principles section. Listening closely enough to play with each
other, enhancing the sounds each are making, knowing your
own part and learning to improvise, agreeing on a key -- all
these are analogies for getting along harmoniously in this world
and in the world within. May you all make beautiful music
together.
There are qualities that we all know are positive, such as Kindness, Generosity, Patience,
Respect, Service, Gratitude. These make us and those around us feel good. And there
are qualities we know are negative, such as Greed, Hate, Arrogance, and Fear which
make us unhappy and disturb those around us. By using the 16 Guidelines we can work
together, all of us of any religion, any faith tradition as well as non-believers, in our efforts
to move away from the negative qualities and move toward the positive ones.
May you find short term pleasure and more importantly long term happiness by working with
these guidelines. This offering, this book, this bowl is empty until you fill it by trying these
activities and putting these guidelines into practice in your life. If 16 are too many for you,
I offer these four: Breathe, Appreciate, Help, Evolve. If 4 are too many, there is Kindness.
May this work be of benefit!
Love,
Denise Flora
February 14, 2008

16 Guidelines for Life -- A2: One Page Summaries
Contents:
Definitions
Positive Chants
Song/Sound Links
Icon Wheel
Guideline Icons
Character Guide Knowledge
Summary Poster
Media Suggestions – where to see/read/hear more

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy A2: One Page Summaries A2-1
16 Guidelines for Life -- Definitions
Humility Possessing a quiet strength which allows us to learn from everybody, keeps
us from being too proud, and reminds us not to think or act as if we are better
than other people.
Patience Calmly taking our time. Controlling our reactions and keeping our peace of
mind. Being tolerant, learning to wait until conditions are right for changes.
Valuing diversity.
Contentment Appreciating all we have instead of looking toward the next thing we want.
Living with a quiet joy. Moderation. Balance. Not overdoing it.
Delight Rejoicing in everyday fun, the simple beauty all around us, and celebrating
bigger joys. Happiness for our own good experiences and joy in the good
fortunes of others.
Kindness Helping others to be happy by treating them well. The golden rule in all its
forms.
Honesty Telling the truth. Being fair and honorable in our dealings with people, money
and possessions.
Generosity Sharing what we have to benefit others. Being unselfish. Realizing our
actions affect others.
Thoughtful Speaking skillfully and not talking too much. Thinking before we speak so we
Speech don’t harm with our words.
Respect Valuing others, especially those with experience and knowledge, like elders
and teachers. Realizing our dependence on the efforts of others. Being
polite.
Forgiveness Reclaiming peace of mind by letting go of anger toward someone who has
done something that feels hurtful or disturbing.
Gratitude Feeling appreciation and showing thankfulness for what others (especially
parents) have done for us.
Responsibility Being a person who can be counted upon. Dependability. Reliability.

Steadfastness.
Principles Choosing to use guidelines or rules to help make the tough decisions in life.
Aspiration Striving to become better than we are. Being inspired to improve, to evolve,
to become.
Service Happily giving our time to people, projects and causes to help others.
Courage Having the bravery to do the right thing even when it is difficult or scary.

16 Guidelines for Life -- Positive Chants
Hutri Humility Each of you gives me a lesson.
Peglo Patience I'm like water, patient, still,

Cona Contentment I have what I need, if I don't feed my greed.
Deba Delight No need to wait let's celebrate.

My joy times two, when I'm happy for YOU!
Kaipo Kindness Care for others. Keep trying.
Hodi Honesty Honesty works best for me.
Genca Generosity I can share my stuff. I have enough.
Spibu Thoughtful- When I'm wise I think more, speak less.

Speech
Resco Respect Let's honor each who guide, or teach.
Fola Forgiveness I forgive then I feel better.
Graca Gratitude Thanks to those who wiped my nose.
Riche Responsibility Through thick or thin, count me in.
Prindi Principles I know my way. I walk my path.
Asta Aspiration I strive to be a better me.
Serzo Service Giving time from my day can help in some way.
Cofi Courage Let's think big, be brave, now begin!
Emphasize black syllables as in the recording noted on the following page.

16 Guidelines for Life -- Song/Sound Links
Audio recordings can be found by clicking here.

This will take you to a page on the 16 Guidelines website where
the latest recordings can be found:
http://www.16guidelines.org/wiki/index.php/Ready_Set_Happy
At the time of publication of this Appendix 2, you can access

preliminary recordings of these songs/chants:
'16 Positive Chants' song for melodies for all 16 chants -- from Principles
'Belly Blues' song -- from Contentment
'Combo Rap Track' including...

'Giggle Rap' rap -- from Delight
'Pocket Change Chant' chant -- from Honesty
'Response Ability' chant -- from Responsibility
'It's in my Hands' handgame -- from Principles
More Recordings Coming Soon:
New versions of the songs above, including individual files for

each of the 16 positive chants and each of the four rap/chants, and...
'Point of View' and 'Patience Puzzle' poems from Patience

'Ripples' poem from Generosity
'Blue Marble Memory' poem from Forgiveness
'If I were a Slug' poem from Gratitude
'Positive Principle rePrise' poem from Principles
'Circles in the Sand' story from Principles
'The Third Bowl' fable from Service
'Where Does my Good Day Go?' poem from Service
'Begin!' poem from Courage
'The Gift of King Harmen' fable All Guidelines
***
16 Guidelines for Life -- Meet the Character Guides
How we Think
Hutri Humility Peglo Patience Cona Contentment Deba Delight

How we Act
Kaipo Kindness Hodi Honesty Genca Generosity Spibu

Thoughtful-Speech
How we Relate
Resco Respect Fola Forgiveness Graca Gratitude Riche Responsibility

How we find Meaning
Prindi Principles Asta Aspiration Serzo Service Cofi Courage

16 Guidelines for Life -- Icon Wheel
Part I:
Part IV:
How we Think -
How we find Meaning in Life -
determines how we feel
steadies us in a changing world.
inside ourselves.
13 Principles
1 Humility
14 Aspiration
2 Patience
15 Service
3 Contentment
16 Courage
4 Delight
Part III: Part II:
How we Relate to Others - How we Act -

connects us to our community. impacts on ourselves and others.
9 Respect 5 Kindness
10 Forgiveness 6 Honesty
11 Gratitude 7 Generosity
12 Responsibility 8 Thoughtful Speech

16 Guidelines for Life -- Guideline Icons
Humility
Patience
Contentment
Delight
Kindness
Honesty
Generosity
Thoughtful
Speech
Respect
Forgiveness
Gratitude
Responsibility
Principles
Aspiration
Service
Courage
16 Guidelines for Life -- Character Guide Knowledge
How we Think – determines how we feel inside ourselves.

Humility Hutri learns from all and knows that each leaf is important to help the tree.
Patience Peglo waits calmly, trusting changes take time. He values each life and the planet.
Contentment Cona appreciates what she has already, so she doesn't need to grab for more.
Delight Deba enjoys herself and celebrates the joy in others' lives.
How we Act – impacts on ourselves and others.

Kindness Kaipo cares about others and acts in a considerate, helpful way.
Honesty Hodi trades fairly and tells the truth.
Generosity Genca shares what she has, giving with a smile.
Thoughtful Spibu speaks carefully, using his few words to help, not harm.
Speech
How we Relate to others – connects us to our community.

Respect Resco respects teachers and the elderly and and honors the wisdom in everyone by
being polite.
Forgiveness Fola forgives, releasing anger and hurt, and reclaiming peace.
Gratitude Graca thanks and appreciates her parents, and others who help her.
Responsibility Riche steps up to do what needs to be done -- others can count on him.
How we find Meaning in Life – steadies us in a changing world.

Principles Prindi finds direction and guidance from rules he chooses to help him set his
course.
Aspiration Asta strives to improve every day, inspired by nature, the arts, and the lives of
others.
Service Serzo serves others, volunteering his time and creative energy.
Courage Cofi braves difficulties and challenges to do the right thing.

16 Guidelines for Life -- Summary Poster

16 Guidelines for Life -- Media Suggestions
A wealth of materials exist to supplement learning about each of the guidelines.

Here are some suggestions for a few places to start looking. Let us know of others!
Adults, please preview materials first (especially movies) for age appropriateness.
Books/Stories
Children's novel illustrating one guideline per chapter, from www.essential-education.org
Book for adults 16 Guidelines for a Happy Life UpClose from www.essential-education.org
Ask if books at your library are organized by character trait.
Look at picture books for authors such as these:
de Paola, Rafe Martin, McDermott (Anansi stories), Polacco, San Souci, Yolen
Check out these series:
Life's Little Instruction Books, Chicken Soup for the (little) Soul books.
See Aesops fables in the library or online here -- http://aesopfables.com/aesopsel.html
Read these stories online which are searchable by several traits:
http://www.learningtogive.org/materials/folktales/trait.asp
Comics
Read the comics in the newspaper. See which ones relate to a guideline. A fun activity to do
with teens.
Online Videos
Check out those collected at karma-tube.org such as this one related to Humility:
Powers of 10 http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=198
Search for guideline names for more.
Music Videos
Check out those collected at karma-tube.org such as the Sarah Mclachlan 'World on Fire'
video which cost $15 to produce and the rest of the budget was donated to charity.
http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=25
In particular, watch these two about Kindness:
'What about me?' http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=118
'If Everyone Cared' from Nickleback http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=38
Search for guideline names for more.
Movies
Ask at your video store or search online for the themes of the guidelines.
See the movies suggested by Random Acts of Kindness Foundation here:
http://www.actsofkindness.org/people/whats_new/news_detail.asp?id=193
Old Television Series on DVD

Kung Fu – watch this with your children to show timeless themes in changing times.
More Activities
other Children's Kit components from www.essential-education.org
Maitreya School Curriculum Awareness Activities from www.essential-education.org
16 Guidelines Wiki at www.16guidelines.org

Meet the Character Guides -- Group I
How We Think... Guidelines 1 2 3 4
Hutri Humility Peglo Patience
Cona
Each of you gives me a lesson. I'm like water, patient, still,

Cona Contentment Deba Delight
No need to wait, let's celebrate!

I have what I need, My joy times two,
if I don't feed my greed. when I'm happy for YOU.
Contentmentow we feel inside ourselves

...determines how we feel inside ourselves.
16 Guidelines for Life Emphasize bold syllables when chanting

www.16Guidelines.org Ready Set Happy A3:Coloring Sheets/Gamecards A3-1
Meet the Character Guides -- Group II
How We Act... Guidelines 5 6 7 8
Kaipo Kindness Hodi Honesty
Cona
Care for others. Keep trying. Honesty works best for me.
Genca Generosity Spibu Thoughtful-Speech
I can share my stuff. When I'm wise

I have enough. I think more, speak less.

...impacts on ourselves and others.

Meet the Character Guides -- Group III
How We Relate to others... 9 10 11 12
Resco Respect Fola Forgiveness
Cona
Let's honor each I forgive then I feel better.

who guide or teach.
Graca Gratitude Riche Responsibility
Thanks to those Through thick or thin,

who wiped my nose. count me in.
...connects us to our community.

Meet the Character Guides -- Group IV
How We Find Meaning in Life... 13 14 15 16
Prindi Principles Asta Aspiration
Cona
I know my way.
I walk my path. I strive to be a better me.
Serzo Service Cofi Courage
Giving time from my day Let's think big, be brave,

can help in some way. now begin!

...steadies us in a changing world.


Guidelines For Life (Happy Kids)

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Ready Set Happy

Fun, skill-building activities for children,

16 Guidelines for Life

Ready Set Happy

16 Guidelines for Life

Thanks to all those who helped

Those who helped in other ways:

Illustrations, poems, plays, chants, photos, songs,

16 Guidelines for Life

How we find Meaning in Life - How we Think -

Part III: Part II:

How we Relate to Others - How we Act -

16 Guidelines for Life

To the parents and caregivers:

To all: order, conventions and more

16 Guidelines for Life

Hutri Humility Peglo Patience Cona Contentment Deba Delight

Kaipo Kindness Hodi Honesty Genca Generosity Spibu

Resco Respect Fola Forgiveness Graca Gratitude Riche Responsibility

Prindi Principles Asta Aspiration Serzo Service Cofi Courage

16 Guidelines for Life

16 Guidelines for Life

16 Guidelines for Life

Each of you gives

After three classes of learning about Humility

16 Guidelines for Life

a short play about two waste

Sure! Imagine if no one took this all

16 Guidelines for Life

Try it now: Illusions --

Have you seen an optical illusion, such as a picture

Our eyes can play tricks on us and so can our

Experiment: Broken Straw

16 Guidelines for Life

Sixteen character guides will each

Story: King Harmen

Read a fable that introduces all 16 of the Character

16 Guidelines for Life

Game: Trained Observer

Close your eyes and make a mental list of

You could play this as a game where one

Try it for real: Each of you gives me a lesson.

This week see if you can keep in mind that every

16 Guidelines for Life

Helen Keller, USA, a tireless campaigner for the

You may have chores or jobs to do this week. Can you

This takes time, so don't worry if it doesn't work right

Try it for real: Many versions of reality

Do you know who you are? This might seem a

16 Guidelines for Life

Story: Blind Men and the Elephant

Many versions of this story

See if you can notice a time

16 Guidelines for Life

Can practice Who are you?

What kind of jobs Is there anyone

Answer to the character guide name/shape connection--

16 Guidelines for Life

16 Guidelines for Life

Peglo waits calmly,

I'm like water, patient, still,

Water is always looking for the path